#MY CRIES FOR INTERACTION AFTER - LIKE - 18 EPISODES - HAVE BEEN HEARD

[lesbian-vmin]

Okay. I wanted to revisit this (x) ask to talk about the topic of “disconnect” a little more. I’m going to do it very briefly, and anyone can feel free to disagree with me. I’m sharing anyway.

So, I tend to not get hung up over one video. Or one moment. Or even recent things? Because, let’s just say we watch a video where Vmin don’t have many interactions. Maybe it’s in a Run BTS episode or during an interview. They don’t always have to go out of their way to interact with each other, and just because we don’t see them interacting (especially during Run episodes, or other heavily edited shows such as BV is ITS), doesn’t mean they didn’t interact at all during filming.

As an example, I think it was in a Run episode that Jimin(?) ended up saying that he and Taehyung were watching the stars at night during BV2 in Hawaii. (note to self: find source link later) Sure. We didn’t see it. And we only have Jimin’s words to go off of. But, they spend a number of days at their vacation destination, and we don’t even get a full 24 hours worth of content. They aren’t TV show characters or cartoon characters. They are real people. Their lives go on when the cameras aren’t running, and the things that get edited out (that were filmed, but we’ll never see) actually happened. That being said, a majority of what happens, even during filming will never be seen by us. The only time you can possibly get a full unedited event is during a live show. And fancams of them on stage don’t necessarily count because different angles will tell you different stories.

Moving on to my main point. The reason I don’t think there’s anything weird going on, and try to read too much into things based on what little we get to see is simple. Let’s look back at 2017(?) or 18(?) vmin when everyone cried they weren’t close. We’ve had BV every year (except last, but we got ITS) since 2016. (BELOW THE CUT) (didn’t I say this was going to be breif? 😅)

Europe - 2016

Hawaii - 2017

Malta - 2018

New Zealand - 2019

ITS - 2020

So the reason I was never bothered and affected by those “worries” was literally because of BV, and other small moments we did get to see. Because I know that we don’t possibly get to see everything, but it doesn’t invalidate the moments that obviously show us they are close and okay. And if it’s just one small moment, it means everything. Their relationship doesn’t become more insignificant just because of what we get to see through editing and them putting on a show because they’re working.

In 2016, we had Jimin wanting to eat with Taehyung when he joined the group, but Taehyung wanted to eat seafood with SJ & JK. Him wanting to eat a particular food doesn’t mean he and Jimin aren’t close ffs. They kept in touch the entire time Taehyung was still in Korea filming. If Taehyung didn’t care about Jimin, he would have ignored him or been keeping in touch with another member instead. Later, we have Jimin calling Tae, more in a panic about him being lost than Taehyung himself. When they thought Taehyung’s bag was missing and they’d have to send him home? Watch BV1, and at that part, watch Jimin. See how upset he looks. He just got his best friend with him in Europe, and now he thinks he’s going to lose him again. Notice how he doesn’t participate so much when they start the prank on Taehyung. Because he’s just happy Tae doesn’t have to go, and he doesn’t want to give it away. I mean, this is just my assumption on this part, but it doesn’t seem unreasonable.

In 2017, we have Taehyung and Jimin watching the stars at night in Hawaii. Sure, we don’t get to see it. But we know that it happened because Jimin said so. And without reason to believe he’s lying about it, we have no reason not to accept that as the truth. Then we have the letter Taehyung wrote to Jimin and them being all sentimental about it. Taehyung had to ask if the letters were going to be read out loud, so it’s likely there were things he wanted to say that he didn’t include in the letter. Jimin said that he really understood Taehyung when he heard the letter, and no one (not even the members) could understand why Taehyung cried while reading the letter. And any fan who tries to analyze and tell you why. I wouldn’t give their theory an ounce of thought. Because if Jimin thinks not even the members understand, how can we possibly understand? I promise you there’s no theory out there good enough to be the truth behind Vmin.

In 2018...do I even have to go there? Just look at them during BV. I did a whole ass analysis about this (x), but there’s a lot more that can be said. Jimin was upset, again, obviously, that Taehyung didn’t join them right away. He’s clearly upset (and looks like he wants to cry) when they accidentally order 7 sandwiches for the members as if Taehyung is with them. He was so happy when Taehyung arrived that they held hand, no only across Namjoon’s lap, but on his shoulder, too. Jimin didn’t get to hug him until the end of their lunch, but you can bet he was sitting there waiting for the moment to do so. After Taehyung arrives, they are basically glued to each other, and Jimin goes to see and do the same things he did before because he wants to do them with Taehyung. That speaks volumes for how much he cares about Taehyung, and it shows how valuable Taehyung’s presence is to him. Taehyung could have done the things with any other member who hadn’t done the things yet, but it was Jimin who visited the same places. He even said that he was thinking about the things Taehyung would like while he was doing them, such as looking at the moon (because Taehyung likes the night views).

In 2019? In New Zealand? Don’t even get me started on this one. We have the moments where they slept together, pretty much by choice. Jimin didn’t look upset when Hoseok basically gave him permission to sleep with Taehyung in the camper. Then we later have Jimin giving up the room he wanted because the person he shares the room with was more important, and he wanted to sleep with Taehyung. He didn’t have to. He could have went with the room he wanted. But he chose to take the room with Taehyung. And, of course, we have my most favorite vmin moment of all time. Their horse date. Jimin could have done anything he wanted that day, but he chose to go with Taehyung. He didn’t even want to ride the horse. He wanted to go because he wanted to be with Taehyung, and no one can prove me wrong. If he wanted to ride a bike, why he didn’t go somewhere that was more bike-friendly? Such as a biking trail. Those exists. And they have the perfect terrain for mountain bikes. And I’m sure New Zealand has its fair share of biking trails. But he didn’t. Instead, he went with Taehyung. To a field. (Also, he didn’t say he wanted to ride a bike. He said he wanted to go with Taehyung “but (he) doesn’t wan’t to ride the horse”)

And then we have 2020. In the SOOP. There are a lot of moments in here. You have moments where they were playing together, singing together, and even in bed together. They said they wanted to sleep together, though I’m not sure why that didn’t end up happening. We can talk about theories all day, but I don’t think anyone of us knows the truth. They spent a lot of time together during in the SOOP. It’s more recent, so I don’t want to post too many spoilers for those who haven’t gotten the chance to see it.

So. To sum up all of this. The reason I don’t ever worry too much or read too much into things is because of all this. I can’t say shit about things we don’t get to see if we never even get to hear about it. If there’s a moment of tension between Vmin (I’ve talked about at least one before) we can point out how, at that moment, they seem to be tense and probably have a current issue. But anyone who honestly thinks a small moment of tension is indication of any more serious issues (such as them secretly hating each other) obviously doesn’t have a best friend, or s/o, or sibling, or parent. Because every person you’re close to is a person you get irritated at once in a while. If you never get irritated with them, how do you know you’re close? It’s when we get over things that bother us with our loved ones that prove how much we love them.

Call it confirmation bias if you will, but it’s things like BV and other small moments we get to see that assure me Vmin are as close as can be. Because they’re moments that actually happen, and a year’s worth of edited content that might make it seem like they don’t talk to each other or they’re “weird” doesn’t change the moments that we do get to see. It doesn’t invalidate them. It doesn’t make them less significant. It doesn’t make them non-existent. And go ahead and say that’s me hanging onto a thread. Because one day, there’ll be another moment. And I’ll say, “I told you so.”

The most important thing we have to remember is that we don’t get to see everything. And...I mean. Does it makes sense when I say I can’t talk about a moment they don’t interact, but the moments they do make it clear that they care about each other a lot?

I hope this answers your ask better than the first time I attempted.

Also. Note how the members tend to ask Jimin when they want to know what Taehyung is up to.

[shadlad24]

More Funny Little Moments #2: Season 1, Episodes 13-24

Okie. In an effort to save myself a lot of time and frustration, I decided to only choose one additional funny moment, maybe two, per episode (unlike last time when two was the baseline and sometimes three popped up). ’Twas to middling success. Unintentionally and not, I left some better moments for this post; of course, the episodes that were stretched thin for their FFLM probably aren’t much better here. :”)

FFLMs: #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 #22 #23 #24

.

Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards

Greeks dressing up in the traditional/stereotypical togas for the one and only time (I think) on this show. Everybody at and connected to the Academy dresses like so. …Then we have Gabrielle. X”D

A Fistful of Dinars

So, I imagine warlords as curious aliens who don’t understand human interaction. When Xena does it, it makes me chuckle (like when Gabrielle hugs her or cries, and Xe’s like, “???”). Petracles is similar.

Warrior... Princess

The fire-connected assassin being a slob. When Xena arrives at Princess Diana’s castle, it’s early morning. A killer almost immediately attacks her but has to run away for his life. He comes back late at night, just as dirty and burned as he was when he left. …Why? And not only that, his clothes that were on fire are perfectly intact while his forehead, which did not catch fire, is not. XD

Yes, it’s a bit morbid but this corpse’s sassy expression is definitely comical. heheheh

Mortal Beloved

Xena being RIDICULOUSLY unobservant. She looks straight ahead, doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary, and so turns her head to look elsewhere. Marcus crouches a whole six inches down and then spots Gabrielle in mortal danger. …Feet away from them. …With nothing to block their view between them and the wabbit. XD XD XD What even, Xena?

It’s more sad than funny when Xena stabs Marcus in the heart, but her line straight after that and Hades’s reaction push the moment over the edge. X’)

The Royal Couple of Thieves

Yay, subtext! Gabrielle somewhat subtly asks for Autolycus’s ring while he doesn’t notice. But someone behind him sure heard her widdle wabbit’s plea. And it affected her quite a bit. D’awwww! :”)

The Prodigal

I cannot BELIEVE I forgot to include this moment in the original post. It got me gooooood. Yes, the setup is a bit predictable, but… just… the townspeople’s hands are still up in the air like they’re riding a rollercoaster that disappointingly malfunctioned right before the big drop! XD The main lady’s faaaaace!!! She was even better than the roommate’s girlfriend in “Big Daddy.” XD XD XD (Video clip here in case the picture isn’t enough for you to know what I mean.)

Altared States

A hilariously adorable moment rather than straight comedy, from Xena of all people. The way she’s sitting, holding Gabrielle, and tilting her head to look at the wabbit reminds me so much of a little kid who’s wondering what’s wrong with her dolly. Hee!

What can I say? I couldn’t ignore Goofy Gabby completely, could I? And this scene isn’t often referenced or noted, so it fits! XP Just look at her blunt-stabbing whatever critter might be under the pillow. She reminds me of an outtake of Ren repeatedly “stabbing” a stunt guy with a toy sword (seen here if so desired). heheheh But part of the real gold here is how poor, weakened Anteus is just so confused. heheheheh

Ties That Bind

Xena being defiant because Gabrielle’s being weird. The wabbit screams for the warrior princess—who is already staring at her—to look at her, so Xena looks away, like, “Uhh, no!” kinda like this. heh

The Greater Good

Can’t leave Argo out either, can I? Poor pony. I’m beginning to understand her aversion to Gabrielle more and more. X)

Callisto

Gabrielle doubting Xena and then learning an interesting lesson that will only prove more true as time goes on.

Death Mask

Our wee widdle wabbit being rightfully proud of herself after besting an enemy with Xena as the audience for the first time. Xena… is afeared. XD

GabbyWabbit and friggin Toris forgetting what franchise they’re a part of. Yes, I’m way late for both “holidays.” Whoops.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

In addition to not being able to believe what Xena did to her in the main post, Gabrielle is now stunned by the words coming out of Xena’s mouth. I. …Screw around. heh (Though I totally remember the quote in a different accent and so had to rewatch the clip a few times to relearn it. You can watch it too, here.)

.

Hm, this was more fun and easier than last time. Woohoo! 

But, alas, it is the end of an era. No more FFLMs or MFLMs for the foreseeable future. And absolutely no one has commented on my posts in several weeks, so I don’t even know what you guys think of my work or want. *sad* Ah well. 

The one suggestion I got elsewhere for my hundredth (next) post was to make cracksubs for “Lyre, Lyre, Hearts on Fire.” I think that’s a good idea because I’ve been wanting to do another cracksubs post for a while now and don’t like LLHoF. ’Twas a similar case with the last one I did but that led to a deep, abiding love of “Them Bones Them Bones.” heheheh

If anyone has any other ideas, though, then please let me know. Thanks!

[winters-cursed-king]

When The Lights All Went Out- Chapter 1

Fandom: The Aurora Cycle fic

Summary: Psych ward au ft. Asking for help is hard and Tyler sometimes needs to back off a bit 

TWs: Psychotic episode 

Read on AO3 || Chapter 2 

To celebrate the end of the second week at the Legion, Zila got a new roommate.

The first two days after she’d been admitted to the Legion, Zila had a roommate called Katie. She’d been fine, if a bit too interested in conversations for Zila’s liking and cried more often than smiled, but nothing particularly bad to complain about.

Except Katie had left after only four days and Zila was still at the Legion after two weeks.

And she was bored.

There was nothing stimulating at the Legion. Her books had been confiscated for a reason Zila could not fathom. She had been told she was allowed no practical experiments to accompany her theories. There was definitely no chance of being given paper and pencils for the nights.

Zila was supposed to sleep at night.

It didn’t matter that Zila couldn’t sleep, or that the sleep meds wore off too quickly so she was still plagued by nightmares and staring at the blank ceiling for hours as she counted and multiplied, or that with the windows boarded it was impossible for Zila to count the stars and so she couldn’t sleep even if she wanted to. Or that Zila couldn’t sleep in the dark.

Zila was supposed to sleep and the Legion wouldn’t provide anything that might disrupt that.

They would, however, provide a new roommate. That seemed very counterproductive if you asked Zila.

No one ever asked Zila.

And the new roommate- Auri O’Malley- was sitting up in bed with the standard issue purple blanket around her waist and a pyjama top that Zila assumed must be yellow falling off her shoulders. In the dramatic darkness Zila could barely make out her figure, but she’d seen Auri earlier that evening.

She was adequately attractive. Onyx black hair curled around her jaw and fell across her eyes, with a white streak down one side. Her eyes were dark like the night sky at 2am, and the freckles across her cheeks were like the constellations that were scattered across it.

Zila was here to heal. Not to create intimate relationships based off attraction.

She had been admitted to the Legion to heal, at least. She didn’t feel like she was doing a lot of healing, and neither did any of the staff apparently.

After 3548 seconds of silence, Auri spoke.

It was whispered, and rough, and almost too quiet for Zila to hear.

“They’re coming for me.”

Zila knew nothing about Auri. Nothing other than she was an eighteen year old girl who had just been admitted to a psych ward, and therefore probably had no one coming for her.

“Who’s coming for you?” Zila whispered back.

“They’re on the floor. Waiting for me.”

Zila wasn’t very good with people, or feelings. But she’d had enough psychotic episodes of her own to know- maybe- how to help.

Big maybe.

“That sounds scary,” Zila said.

Auri curled up tighter on herself. “They’ll take me. They’re finally here. They’ll take me away with their big claws and teeth and I’ll never be heard from again.”

“How long have they been looking for you?”

Auri blinked. “16. Since I was 16.”

“How old are you now?”

“18.”

Zila tilted her head. “I’m 18, too. My name is Zila.”

“Are you one of them?”

Auri’s voice had turned guarded and harsher, so Zila softened hers. She was pretty sure she softened it.

Emotions and feelings and social interactions were hard.

“Why would I be one of them?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” Auri said. “They’re everywhere.”

“That sounds terrifying. And very upsetting.”

Auri nodded sincerely. “It is. They hide behind my trophies and my door.”

“What are your trophies for?”

Zila made an effort to keep her voice as quiet as possible. The staff would’ve stopped making their rounds by now, but they were never too far away.

And Zila was supposed to be asleep.

Bad things happened when Zila wasn’t asleep.

She dug her fingernails into her knee- quickly pushing aside the nausea and the question of whether or not to bring that particular thought up with the doctor tomorrow- and focused on Auri’s words. This was about Auri. She was supposed to be helping Auri.

“Track running,” Auri said. “I’ve got a couple of certificates from geography competitions, but all of the trophies are from track.”

“Do you enjoy track?”

“Yeah. My dad says he doesn’t know where I get it from, because he used to go out of his way to skip gym in high school.”

“Your father seems nice.”

Auri nodded. “He is. I hate him sometimes and he’s infuriating, but I do love him a lot. I like my mum better, though.”

Now Zila was out of her depth. Speaking technically, conversations were a matter of interpersonal relations and relaying information. And Zila had no relations or information to share on this topic.

But Auri was almost calm so Zila couldn’t stop now.

“What is your mother like?”

“She’s really nice,” Auri smiled. “She attends all of my races. She used to sing lullabies to me every night up until I was ten, which is kinda lame I know.”

“It’s not.”

The silence that settled was more comfortable than it had been in the two weeks Zila had been at the Legion. Less harsh and unforgiving and full of memories that Zila didn’t want. More soft and hopeful.

“Zila?” Auri asked after 83 seconds.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

As Auri’s breaths turned soft, Zila stared up at the ceiling, running through times tables in her head.

Maybe this new roommate would be a tolerable companion.

[iristial]

cHOKES ON MY NOODLES

Idk about you but I can’t stop thinking about Horobi saying “Everything is per the Will of the Ark” while showing Yua and Jin interacting lmao

[bluemoon-writer]

Childhood Friends AU: Max and Markov (Marxkov)

Part 1- In which Max ‘makes’ a friend

(2.6k words)

Masterlist Here

A/N: I got a bit carried away while writing and this became less of a list of bubbly making headcanons and more of a tragic origin story, so it’s a little different from the Marikim headcanons, so let me know what you guys think.

------

-Max’s mother, Claudie, gets pregnant with him at age 18

-he was an accidental pregnancy

- his father, Adam Kante, had just enlisted in the French Armed Forces and his mother was just starting university

-it wasn’t ideal circumstances, but his parents loved each other and didn’t want to give up

-So his dad proposed, and was stationed in Paris until Max was born

-unfortunately, then he was sent off to an overseas base

-Luckily, Claudie’s brother steps up to help out.

-Two years older than his sister, he was very different from her and her husband. While both of them were disciplined and fact oriented, he was more laid-back

-His dream was to be a stand-up comedian, and his stage name was Mark Oz

-He worked at night so he was able to watch Max during the day so Claudie could go to school

-With Adam away for so long, Mark became a father figure of sorts to Max

-They would spend most of the day together, and Mark realized early on that he had a child-genius on his hands

-So he bought extra learning material for Max

-He encouraged Max as much as could to peruse whatever academics interested

-Max was only 3 though, so nothing truly interested him more than Transformers

-Mark played the cartoon as background noise one day, and Max was instantly hooked

-He watched every episode

-For his birthday, he received only Transformers figurines

-when he started school he would draw new transformers in Art class

-For his 5th birthday, his mom bought him a robotics kit (a child-friendly robotics kit)

-and his Uncle bought him a coding Manuel

-Max found his new passion

-him and his uncle spent days building simple robots

-he was so fascinated by robots that he spent most of his free time learning more

-he dreamed about one day creating his own transformer

-and his Uncle helped him.

-He was never super academic but was still had the family brains.

-He full heartedly threw himself into Max’s passion

-inadvertedly, it helped his career. He created one of the most unique stand up comedy routines ever heard in Paris, those lucky enough to see it raved about it for years

-Mark Oz was finally hitting it big time, and he did not give a shit

-the only person he cared about making smile everyday was his nephew

-together, the two of them continued to hone Max’s robot building skills

-Mark bought a big black notebook and in it he wrote down every robot Max wanted to build

-max would dictate the details and Mark would write it, and then Max would attach a picture he drew of it

-despite being a child genius, he was still a child and had atrocious handwriting

-Slowly they were crossing robots off the list, starting with the most simple

-a basic walking robot

-eventually, and Mark didn’t know how long it would take, but they’d get to their last robot

-a fully functioning AI

-When Max turned seven he started taking advanced classes

-His mom had just finished her PhD, one of the youngest ever to complete the program, and was considering applying to become an astronaut

-Both Mark, Max, and her husband encouraged her to go for. Adam offered be discharged from the military to look after Max, but Mark insisted that he wouldn’t mind taking care of Max

-“Neither one of you should put your dream jobs on hold. I’ve been watching Max for seven years, I love the kid, and I’ll take care of him for the rest of my life if he still wants me around.”

-And Mark kept that promise

-Unfortunately, he kept it because his life was cut short.

-It was after a late show, the driver was intoxicated and didn’t see Mark crossing the street.

-Claudie withdrew from the astronaut program and took up a job as a train driver so she could be around for Max

-Adam returned from his deployment, but things just weren’t the same. He enlisted in a third campaign after a month

-Max was devasted. His uncle was the only one who understood him.

-He didn’t speak a word to anyone for a year.

-His mom is concerned, but therapists insist that Max just needs time

-Meanwhile, Max works his way through his robot list.

-His mom offers to help him, but he refuses.

-If he can’t build them with his uncle then he’ll build them alone

-a year later he’s halfway through the list

-His mom almost cries when he asks her to come see his robots

-He spends the entire day showing her the different ones and explaining what they do

-After that, their relationship improves greatly. Max talks a lot about everything he’s interested in

-Claudie is barely able to keep up

-She’s afraid that he might have an unhealthy attachment to his robots though, and is afraid of what will happen when he completes his list

-So she introduces him to a new hobby, video gaming

-Mark had tried to get Max into it a few times but Max was more interested in Robotics and programming at the time

-Now though, in memory of his uncle, he gives it a go

-and fucking loves it

-He and his mom spend the weekend playing old games that his uncle had

-He doesn’t give up on his robots though

-Two years later, he’s down to the very last robot on his list

-His father comes home that same week, his three year campaign ended

-Once Max started speaking again, his father would video call him. Max would show him his latest robot, and his father, who didn’t know a thing about robots, would ask him as many questions as he could come up with about it

-It was slightly awkward at first, seeing his dad in person, but soon it faded away

-Max still didn’t want help with his robots, but he was more than happy to play video games with his father

-his dad was skilled, particularly in fighting games, and Max almost never beat him

-at first

-his dad taught him a few tricks, and Max practiced and practiced until he could beat his dad

-Max was doing pretty good

-Still, though, he seemed to have an aura of sadness around him

-His dad asked him one day what games he liked to play with his friends

“I don’t have friends”

-It was the advanced classes. They were filled with older kids, and none of them wanted to befriend a 10 year-old

-His parents decided to pull him out at the end of the year.

-For college, he’d be going to a regular (though very good) school with kids his own age

-Francois Dupont had a great reputation, and offered him an academic scholarship

-His dad enlisted in another campaign

-Max was sad to see him leave, but was feeling happier than he had been in a while

-He continued to work on his last robot

-He turned 11 and started school at Francois Dupont

-He had no idea how to interact with kids his own age

-He was seated next to a hyperactive kid who introduced himself as Kim

-They were in the very front row and Kim joked that the teacher was already trying to keep an eye on them

-it wasn’t very funny, but Max almost fell over laughing

-“Wow, if you thought that was funny, just wait till you meet my friend Marinette!”

-“I’m sorry its just that…I would never disrupt class. Knowledge is the most valuable thing we can gain, and I intend to gain as much as I can.”

“I don’t know man, that sounds kind of like something a mad scientist would say.”

“well, I am trying to build the world’s first sentient AI in my mom’s basement.”

-Being at a regular school is a relief to Max

-The homework is extremely easy in comparison to what he’d been doing before, which gives him more time to work on his robot

-(bare with me through this next part guys, I do not know anything about science, mechanics, or engineering so this will probably be a heaping load of bullshit)

-the biggest difficulty in the creation of this robot was not creating an AI, many people have done that before, but rather figuring out how to allow it to feel without programming emotions into it

-Max had been doing a lot of research on Markov chains lately

-He believed that being able to code the ability to predict events would lead to a breakthrough on how to code the comprehension of emotions

-but the Markov process and chains were extremely complicated

-but, Max was out of ideas

-so he spent weeks reading about all the research and experiments. He read about modern day applications of it, analyzed the codes he could get his hands on

-and then he made his own.

-He didn’t need his AI to study systems, but rather humans

-ideally, if he did his code right, the AI would scan the web for all examples of human behavior to catalog and process it. Hopefully, then it would gain the ability to comprehend human emotion

-Max figured he would know if it worked if it was able to predict how people would react to different things being said to them

-sure enough, he was right…in a way

-Max didn’t think he’d be able to achieve true sentience like what the transformers had

-He was trying to give his AI the ability to understand emotions, not the ability to feel

-and yet, somehow, from the first day the robot was online, he seemed to have emotions

-it confounded Max

-He spent all of winter break talking to the robot

-trying to determine if it really felt

-He started just by talking to it

-it had access to all the knowledge on the internet, yet it seemed to have trouble grasping many theories about philosophy and morals

-Max accidentally stayed up the entire night discussing moral relativism with it

-He counted it’s ability to ask questions and hold a conversation in it’s favor

-however, that’s what Max was aiming for in the first place, and it didn’t convince him it had feelings

-he had to admit though, he truly hoped it did as he was quickly considering the robot as his first true friend

-in the weeks they spent talking Max told the robot his life’s story

-and the robot replied with genuine sympathy

-Max connected with it in a way that he’d only connected with one other person before

-he showed it a video of his uncle’s stand up routine

-when the robot started laughing Max was blown away

-not by the laugh, but by it’s reaction to it

“Oh no! Max, I am afraid I had a malfunction! Do you think it is possible for auditory signals to transmit a virus?”

“What? No, that’s laughter. It’s natural, especially when you’re listening to someone as funny as my uncle.”

“Yes, the brother of your mother. You mentioned he had a career as a comedian, and a quick scan of the web shows that he was quite successful.”

“Yeah, he was.”

“You sound sad. Were you close?”

(it’s only because it’s a robot and has advanced hearing sensors that it’s able to hear Max’s “Yes”)

-Max really hopes the robot truly is sentient

-What finally convinced him is when he heard it cry

-He’d left it in the basement to get eat dinner, promising to be back in half an hour

-but got drawn in to a round of video games with his mother

-sure enough, a few hours past before Max remembered he left the robot in the basement

-he shrugged it off as an accident until he got to the basement door and heard quiet sobs

-when he went down the stairs it was the robot crying

-when Max came into hearing range, the sounds stopped

“Max! You’re back! I thought you had abandoned me!”

-it didn’t seem possible, but Max could hear the happiness in the robot’s voice

-in that moment, Max made a decision

-“How do you feel about the name Markov?”

“Like the chains?”

“Yes, but Markov also sounds like…Mark Oz.”

“…I would be honored to be named after someone who was so important to you.”

-Max introduces Markov to his mom

-She’s literally at a loss for words

-like, she knew Max was a genius, but this was something on a whole other level

-She’s incredibly proud though

-and wants to tell everyone about it

-But Max stops her

-Markov isn’t just a robot, he’s a sentient being, and more importantly, he’s his friend

-if people learned about him, they would want to take him apart to figure out how he works

-Max doesn’t want that and neither does Markov

-So his mother keeps silent

-Plus there’s still more work to be done

-Markov might be built, but there’s still a lot that could be improved

-For starters, he’s huge

-Max built him out of three old computer monitors and can’t even lift him

-luckily, Max doesn’t have to do all the work himself

-Markov creates the blueprint for a smaller body

-they go from three monitors to two to two

-but it is slow going

-the first downsize took six months because Max didn’t want to risk accidentally destroying Markov

-he’s the happiest he’s been in a while

-but Markov thinks he could be even happier

-Max hasn’t been interacting with his classmates much

-he’s on good terms with them. No one trips him or throws things at the back of his head, and he talks to some of them every now and then

-his seatmate, Kim, asks him how he’s doing every morning

-Max doesn’t realize that he could be getting an even better experience out of school

-but Markov does, he’s analyzed enough books to know that it’s vital for a young child to have multiple human friends

-so he encourages Max to reach out

-Max is hesitant, but asks Kim if he wants to come over and play video games sometime

-Kim’s response is a resounding HELL YES

-(minus the swear word bc he’s like 11)

-Max is nervous as all hell, but the moment he has a game controller in his hands it goes away

-Kim is pretty tough competition, but Max still wins most of the time

-before they know it, it’s dark outside

-The next day when they need to partner up for an assignment, Kim asks Max if he wants to be partners

-Max smiles for a week straight

-With Markov’s encouragement, Max slowly befriends most of his classmates

-He’s particularly close with his seatmate Kim and a girl from Class A named Alix

-He also meets Kim’s friend Marinette, who’s in Class A with Alix

-and her friend Nino

-Still, Max considers Markov to be his best friend

-He sits in the basement with him everyday and tells him everything that happened that day

-Markov eagerly listens to all of it

-he wants more than anything to be able to go out and things for himself.

-but for now he’s stuck in the basement

-he’s sure that one day Max will make him small enough to transport

-for now, he’s happy to listen to his best friend’s stories

-----

Bonus:

------

A/N: I didn’t mean to make Max’s life so tragic, I swear.

If you want to be added to the childhood friends taglist or removed from it, please send me an ask or message me.

Taglist:

All Miraculous Ladybug fics:

@ravennightingaleandavatempus @crazylittlemunchkin

All Childhood AU fics:

@charlietheepic7 @krispydefendorpolice​

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x08: The World Before - First Thoughts

Hello everyone! So what did you think of the episode. I totally loved it! Yes, it’s frustrating to get a cliffhanger for the MSF, but I, for one, am kind of used to it by now. I more or less count on that for every finale and MSF. If it doesn’t happen (because sometimes it doesn’t) then awesome. But when it does, I’m not surprised or upset by it. 

But onto happier things. This was one of those episodes that was just dripping with symbolism. (My favorite kind! So today I’ll talk about the broad, sweeping things and what most jumped out at me (and there was a LOT that did, even on first watch) and tomorrow I’ll do nitty-gritty details. Later in the week, I have some other things to post that I’m hoping will help everyone get through the hiatus, so stay tuned for those. Let’s dive in!

This is one episode that the spoilers definitely didn’t do justice to at all.

***As always, spoilers abound for 10x08 below. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Daryl’s Reaction to Carol and Lydia:

Depending on what you follow online, this might not mean much to you. But the groups I’m in follow spoilers and there was a lot of talk about how Daryl didn’t seem to care that much that Lydia was gone, or that Carol sort of lost her. And the spoilers only talked about a very tender scene between Daryl and Carol. 

Well, they did have a sweet scene together, but him not caring about Lydia and not getting after Carol was utterly untrue. (If you’ve watched the episode, you know this.) 

No, he doesn’t exactly scream in Carol’s face or anything (but Daryl wouldn’t do that anyway) but he does get after her. I really liked their interactions because I feel like Daryl might just have finally gotten through to Carol about her destructive behavior. She cries, and that’s where he hugs her. It was actually a really beautiful scene.

I will grant you that it doesn’t last long, as Carol still chases blindly after Alpha not long after, but still.

Music References:

Probably my favorite thing was the musical references. Luke names and later hums a specific piece of classical music: Rachmaninoff’s Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini. 

Even if the name doesn’t ring a bell for you, I can almost guarantee you’ve heard it before. HERE’s a video so you can listen. If you can’t access this one, just google it or search your YouTube. I promise it won’t be hard to find a way to listen to it. It’s one of the most famous pieces of classical music of all time.

It was featured in a film in the 80s called Somewhere in Time that had a cult following (one of my personal faves with Christopher Reeves and Jane Seymour).

So, my first instinct was to research the song itself. Like, does it have a coda? I knew I had some sheet music from this song on my shelf so I went and got it. Mine doesn’t have a coda, but mine is also only the 18th variation.

It’s important for everyone to understand what a variation is in classical music. A variation is basically just one part of the overall symphony. Any given symphony is divided into parts, or variations. Not unlike chapters of a book. Each one is part of the overall story, but different things happen in each chapter, right? Same with Variations. All part of the same symphony, and therefore all based around and repeating the same musical themes, but all slightly different as well.

So, any given variation may not have a coda, but we need to look at the symphony as a whole. (And I can back this idea up because in the episode, Luke finds a book in the library of this piece of music and on the cover it says something like “complete preludes for piano” on it. 

So, what I’m getting at is that the 24th variation IS a coda. I found this description of the 24th variation:

Variation 24: provides a massive capstone to the entire work.  The Dies Irae theme emerges heavily in brass and strings while piano and winds recall prominent features of the subject.  A brilliant coda reiterates fragments of the theme, compressing earlier ideas within a massive acceleration. Suddenly and surprisingly there is a drop to an unexpected soft dynamic and two cadential chords from the piano mark the ending.

Obviously that is very significant. They’re mentioning, talking about, humming, and showing us sheet music for a very famous symphony that has a coda. I think our TWD coda is about to roll back around, don’t you?

But I’m also wondering about the Somewhere in Time theme. I’m sure at least some of you aren’t familiar with it. It’s an American film with a cult following. But in terms of pop cinema culture, Paganini’s Rhapsody and this film are very intertwined. There are plenty of people who wouldn’t know that symphony at all EXCEPT for the film, so I have to wonder if they chose this piece of music, both for what it means by itself, and also for the Somewhere in Time reference. Notice the “time” element of that title.

The film is a ridiculously romantic time travel story. Its about two lovers who are basically separated by time, and have to travel through time to find one another and, you know, be together forever. Sound like Bethyl to you?

And because I was thinking about that, I noticed something else. When Aaron is talking to Gracie (there are a lot of interesting things in this scene, but I’ll go into most of them tomorrow in my Details post) he tells her a story about once visiting some old Native American ruins. He says he started to wonder about the lives and identities of the people who once lived there. People who had been “lost to time.” So there was a definite theme about people being lost in time in this episode. Very significant. Actually kind of gives me chills. In a good way. ;D

Gracie:

I felt like there was a large emphasis on Gracie in this episode. Aaron talked about her to Gamma last episode, in conjunction with bikes (which we’ve long associated with kidnapping and even “missing girl” stuff) so I still feel like Gracie might be taken.

Here, when Aaron learned about Dante killing Siddiq, he kind of had a meltdown, saying he should have seen it and Dante had been part of the community for months and had even treated Gracie. I don’t think we should read into that literally. I don’t think Dante did anything to Gracie or anything. But I feel like she’s being associated with the whole Siddiq/Dante situation.

And of course we had the part where he sat with her and quizzed her on the license plates. So I feel like they’re setting up something with Gracie here, and I’ve said before that I can see something along the lines of Gracie being taken/kidnapped and Aaron going to find her, and that somehow leading to Beth. So I guess I’m just seeing this as confirmation that something with Gracie is in the works, even if the rest is just conjecture right now.

Bear Trap:

This probably qualifies as more of a Detail than anything else, but it was too huge not to share. After they cross the border, Carol almost steps in a bear trap. Daryl sees it in time and stops her saying, “You could have lost a foot.” Lost shoe/foot symbolism anyone?

I’ve come to believe that the lost shoe/foot theme is directly tied to the death fake out. I won’t say much more than that except that only Daryl and Carol are in this scene. So, it might point to Ezekiel’s coming death fake out, which I think is close, or to the one Daryl is involved in, which would just be another way to hint at Beth being close.

But it’s more than that. MUCH more. Some of you may remember that WAY back, a long time ago (like during the 5b/6a time period) some of the prominent TD-ers of the time dug up some information about a Beth figurine/toy that was set to be released. They were going to release one that included a bear trap prop in the package.

Now, that figuring was never actually released. People in our fandom actually contacted the toy company to ask about it and were told that it was planned for release at one point, but for unspecified reasons, the company (that would be AMC) changed their minds and scrapped the project.

We still don’t know exactly why, though I suspect it was because TD was so active back then and they simply decided they didn’t need to give us this hint.

Lots of theories about the large bear trap circulated back then. People even wondered if it would have something to do with Beth and Shiva, which it didn’t. But it’s weird, right? I mean, why would tptb release a figurine of Beth with such a specific, large prop that never showed up in her story line and had absolutely no bearing on anything in her—or any other character’s—story?

Well, obviously TD took it as something symbolic/a clue to how she might return. Now, we have an actual bear trap as part of a sequence connected to the Whisperers, when many of suspect we may be as little as two episodes out from her return. Significant enough for you? I can’t stress how huge this little bear trap detail is.

But I can even take it further than that.

In terms of what specifically happens in this episode, it was a foreshadow of the ending. So Carol almost stepped in the bear trap, but just barely avoided catastrophe. Daryl yelled stop, stop and managed to pull her back before she stepped in the trap, triggering it, which would have been very painful. Near the end of the episode, Carol chases after Alpha. Daryl yells, stop, stop! But she doesn’t listen and what happens? They trigger the trap.

So, some pretty basic foreshadowing for the end of the episode. But the idea of that also has my head spinning, because I can’t help but compare it to other things.

First, it’s the bear trap being associated with Beth again. Because, in my head, them triggering this trap, and it being symbolized beforehand by the bear trap, is just another way of saying that something about them triggering this trap Alpha set for them will lead to Beth in some way.

But I’m also thinking about Alone. With this symbolism in mind, you could argue that Beth stepping on the small game trap at the beginning of Alone foreshadowed her getting caught in the Grady trap at the end of that episode. The sequence is similar. When the metal, animal trap is scene early on, catastrophe is largely avoided.

(Yes, Beth steps in the trap, but it only results in a hurt ankle. Nothing to worry about. They even emphasize that it’s not broken. If Carol had stepped on hers, it would have snapped her leg like a twig, and they needed her to be able to run later, so they couldn’t do a complete parallel. But again, catastrophe largely avoided.)

Then, near the end of the episode, a MUCH bigger trap is triggered. And this time, catastrophe can’t be avoided. Daryl couldn’t stop the Grady cops from taking Beth, though he tried. And he couldn’t stop the group in this episode—including himself—from falling into the pit, though he tried.

In fact, you could argue that because the rest of the group ran out ahead of him after Carol, while he stayed behind to fight walkers, this was a huge parallel to the end of Alone. Think about it. He stays behind to lead the walkers away while she runs out ahead of him. We see him running through the yard of the funeral home in the direction she went, looking for her, but she’s already fallen into the Grady trap by then.

Here, the rest of the group runs out ahead of Daryl, after Carol. He takes care of the walkers and then runs in the direction they all went, looking for them. But they’d already fallen into the pit by the time he got there. See why this is so huge?

(P.S. On TTD, they pointed out that we see this from Daryl’s POV, which was true of Alone as well. We saw everything through his eyes, and didn’t see what happened with Beth. Only what he saw.)

The dark pit they fall into reminded me of two things: 1) the cave Gamma’s sister went into with Alpha before emerging into the light, which I pegged right away as a Beth-parallel. 2) the darkness-to-light theme in general. We saw it around Beth a lot, but around others as well. So if this is the group going into the darkness, then when they re-emerge into the light, maybe that’s when Beth will show up? (a.k.a. episode 10?) Just a thought.

But for Beth, Grady = falling into a dark pit. In this shot, we see her walking into a dark corridor/tunnel with light at the other end. And this is RIGHT before she’s shot. Which I always saw as her heading into the darkness, but it foreshadows that she’ll come through into the light (survive). And now we’re seeing a replay of this in 10x08.

Virgil:

Okay, let’s talk Virgil. For the record, I don’t think he’s linked to Connie and Kelly. That was a fun theory and I was hoping for it as much as the next person, but I didn’t get that feeling while watching the episode. First off, it’s not that he’s been separated from his family and looking for them, which is what early reports of him suggested. Rather, it’s that he left his community on some kind of supply mission and he’s trying to get back to them. So, he knows exactly where they are. He’s just trying to get home.

That’s right. HOME theme. They emphasize several times that he’s going home. He says it, Michonne repeats it, etc. And remember that finding one’s way home is associated with the North Star/Sirius symbolism, thanks to Carl saying that to Judith in S6.

And where Virgil’s home is, is AWESOME! Pay attention to this TD-ers, because it’s SUPER significant. He tells Michonne that he lives in a compound on Bloodsworth Island in Tangiers sound. I had to sit back and let that sink in. We’ve always said Beth will return by water. If she’s on an island, that kind of makes every water reference we’ve ever seen around her make sense. The picture of the ship behind Hershel in 4a (Smooth seas don’t make for good sailors), the teddy bear that washed up on the beach in 7x06, etc.

I had to do some research on this place because I wasn’t familiar with it. Both Bloodsworth Island and Tangier sound are in the Chesapeake Bay area. The sound is bordered by parts of Virginia and Maryland. My point? This really isn’t very far away. Michonne mentions a 2-day trip to get there.

But given all the symbolism around this, and that this may be where Beth is…well, suddenly it seems like she really may not be very far from D.C. at all.

And then there’s the idea of the naval base. Virgil says it’s hard to find and fortified. Remember what I said about the helicopter people: that they’re probably ex-military, which is why they’re so good at security and keeping people from leaving their group once they’ve entered. It would also make sense why they’ve learned to purify water, since they’re on an island surrounded on all sides by salt water.

So what I’m saying is that this plays very well into everything we’ve been thinking thus far. We already know Danai is going to the Rick Grimes films, so to say she’ll run into Rick is a foregone conclusion. But I’ve said before that I think Rick and Beth are in the same place, or at least within the same organization.

I want to point out that Michonne quotes Rick’s line to Virgil: My mercy prevailed over my wrath. Now, on the one hand, that’s just a very obvious way of foreshadowing that when she leaves, she’ll be finding Rick. His storyline is about to come back into play, and Virgil will be part of that. We already knew that because of outside-the-show stuff. But a good example of foreshadowing at work, and we’ve seen plenty of similar stuff with Beth.

But that line is also tied to Carl’s death. I won’t go into all of this today (I will in a later post) but this is also helping me draw a line between Carl’s death and how Beth will return. I know that’s kind of a tease, but it’s also a whole other rabbit hole, so I’ll give it its own post later.

Wolves and Whisperers:

I said I’d talk more about the Aaron/Gracie scene tomorrow, and I will, but I want to point out one more thing that jumped out at me. First, when Daryl/Carol/Father Gabriel were interrogating Dante, they emphasized that Dante and the Whisperers believed they were setting people free. First Dante said it, claiming that not caring about yourself or others makes you free, and then Carol repeated it for emphasis.

Then there was the Native American story Aaron told Gracie. Both of those things are major callbacks to the wolves. One of the wolves told Morgan that what they did would set people free. And then Crazy Wolf Dude told Morgan in 5x16 that their beliefs were remnants of the beliefs of Native Americans who first settled the area, who believed they were wolves.

And I’ve said before that the wolves were a forerunner and symbolic parallel of the Whisperers, so this is nothing new, but I wanted to point out the strong resemblance in beliefs. And is it literal? I don’t know. I could see it going either way. Maybe at some point we’ll learn that the wolves were an outgrowth of the Whisperers or something.

But it really could just be a symbolic parallel as well. Even if it is just that, it would explain why there was so much Beth symbolism around the wolves and lend credence to the idea of her returning during the Whisperer arc. Just saying.

I also think Virgil has some parallels to Morgan. Again, I’ll talk about this more tomorrow, but in 3x12, Clear, when Rick/Michonne/Carl ran into Morgan, they were looking for weapons to help them fight a war against the Governor. When they found Morgan, he came across as somewhat crazy, and they had to tie him up until they were sure he wouldn’t kill them.

Similar stuff with Virgil. He comes across as a threat and is taken prisoner at first. In the end, Michonne goes with him to find weapons to help them in their war against Alpha. So there are some definite parallels there.

Okay, these were the biggest things. I’ll stop there because this is already long. Plenty more to cover, but I’ll do it tomorrow in the Details post. How did YOU like the episode?

Oh wait! One more thing. Hehe. Can I just point out the title. The World Before. I have to ask, the world before what? Something big is about to change, y’all. ;D

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG154!

- So, what Mary had left to Gertrude almost 100 episodes ago was indeed Eric’s page:

(MAG062) MARY: I’ve always found a singular devotion far too restrictive. Just ask Eric… or what’s left of him. […] GERTRUDE: And do you have any proof of this? Your… “magic book”. MARY: Yeah. [PAPER RUSTLING] You can keep this page. I made sure it was in English. GERTRUDE: Go– Who… who is it? MARY: A surprise, dear. Just make sure you’re alone when you read it. […] ARCHIVIST: […] Hmm. No… strange skin page. But there is a laptop. And a key. I wonder what it opens. End supplement. [CLICK.]

The Delano-Keays have been present since the beginning of the series (Gerry and Mary were introduced as soon as MAG004) yet were… all already dead when we began to hear Jon record his statements, presumably ending the von Closen line (unless somethingsomething about Albrecht’s two Shiny New Sons mentioned in MAG127). It’s strange, in a way, that it feels like we’re saying goodbye to them through that closure and the reveals of their stories… while we never met them alive? Only through a recording (Mary in MAG062), the recording of a “memory” (Eric’s page in MAG154) and a “memory” (Gerry’s page in MAG111). The three of them bound to the book but never at the same time – Mary binding and ripping Eric’s page before she would bind herself to the book, Gertrude burning Mary’s page before binding Gerry, and Gerry’s page ripped and then burned by Jon at the end of season 3.

- Eric’s VA did a fantastic job, and hhhhhhhhhhh, the way he… sometimes snarled a bit? Drawled? Just the same way Gerry spoke? It just dug the knife a bit further in – Eric and Gerry had the same kind of dry self-deprecating sarcasm about their condition, and you could feel that they sounded alike, that Gerry had taken after his father so much, and that they probably would have adored each other………………… Also noteworthy:

(MAG154) ERIC: … And Gerry? Have you seen my son? […] I chose the option I thought might keep Gerry safe.

Eric never called him “Gerard”, but called him “Gerry” twice. Given that:

(MAG111) ARCHIVIST: Thank you, Gerard. GERARD: Gerry. ARCHIVIST: What? GERRY: Gerard was what my mum called me. [EMBARRASSED CHUCKLE] I always wanted my friends to call me Gerry. ARCHIVIST: Thank you, Gerry. Uh… I dismiss you.

… Did the nickname stick in Gerry’s mind when he was an infant, and this is why he was fond of it…?

(And once again: Jon adopted “Gerry”, and was even mocked for it by Julia last episode… while Gertrude was using “Gerard” in MAG137. Until now, I was working under the assumption that Gertrude just wasn’t a “friend” enough to know about Gerry’s nickname but, no, turns out that she did know about it from Eric. Cold, Gertrude, cold.)

- Oopsies about the fact that Gerard had assumed that his father had been killed in his sleep:

(MAG111) GERARD: I never knew my dad. Not really. He worked in the Archives like you, but quit once I was born. I think he wanted to help raise me. But mum didn’t need the help, and after me she wasn’t able to have kids again, so she killed him in his sleep to practice her bookbinding. I guess she failed. I always thought he was in here, but when I eventually got hold of it, there wasn’t a page in there.

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: “When he opened his eyes, he of course saw nothing; but he heard her breathing, slow, and steady, and focused. [CREEPING STATIC SLOWLY RISING] And he immediately knew that she was finally going to kill him. When the garden shears plunged into his chest, he was surprised by how little actual pain there was – just the sudden feel of moisture on his chest, and the realisation that his body was growing weak, fading away. He wished she would say she was sorry she was doing this, that she loved him, that she would miss him – but he knew better, and his final thought was a gentle sadness at how little he was surprised. [OMINOUS RUMBLE WITH A SIDE OF CRACKLING RISES TO CRESCENDO] And so Eric Delano Ended.”

… he hadn’t been so lucky to stay asleep, uh.

- SO THIS IS WHY GERTRUDE HAD SEARCHED GERRY OUT…

(MAG111) GERRY: In the end it was Gertrude who saved me. She came to me when I was desperate, nowhere to go, and she offered to help. I just had to make sure I took the book while my mum was fading, and brought it to her, and then she would free me. I didn’t really believe her, I don’t think, but I did it anyway. When she returned the book to me a week later, her pages burned and mangled, I think I actually cried with relief. I never even considered that my mum might have taught Gertrude how to make pages for it before she was destroyed.

(MAG154) ERIC: Fine! I… I want two things. GERTRUDE: I’m listening. ERIC: I want you to find my son. If Mary is… if she’s gone, or worse… I want you to make sure he’s alright. GERTRUDE: [HUFF] I’m not exactly a mother figure. ERIC: You could hardly do worse than her. GERTRUDE: Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything. ERIC: I understand. GERTRUDE: I suppose he might be useful. ERIC: Oh, sentimental as ever.

… Except that HUM, Eric made his request on July 2008 and Gerry was still haunted by Mary in autumn 2012 (MAG004) so, hey, Gertrude waited at least four years before making her move.

(Things that happened in-between: Gertrude stopped The Flesh’s ritual (October 2009), The Spiral’s (between October 2009 and 2011) and possibly The Lonely’s in that timeframe. She was already making active preparations to counter The Unknowing in October 2013, so did she end up approaching Gerry mostly because she thought he would be useful…? She mentioned in MAG137 (October 2014) that his connection to The Eye was a key to prevent it… “Sentimental as ever” like Eric said.)

- Aaand that’s what Gertrude meant by Eric’s “footsteps”:

(MAG137) GERTRUDE: Gerard may have a connection to The Eye, but I’m not convinced it will be enough. And I will admit I’ve grown… fond of the boy. I wonder, if I told him about Eric – whether he’d follow in his father’s footsteps. Still, that’s not like it kept Eric safe in The End.

… I had wondered if it was about, uh, falling Very Deep into Beholding. But no. It was about fleeing the heck out of it.

;; Gerry already had his eyes-tattoos before he began working with Gertrude (they had apparently protected him from Diego Molina’s fire in MAG012, there was the painting on the wall in MAG004…) so… If Gerry had known about Eric’s sacrifices and disgust of the Institute, maybe he wouldn’t have given so much of himself to The Eye. And Eric would probably have been so sad to know that, while he had fled from the Institute to care for his son, his son… ultimately had gotten so strongly Beholding-aligned and even more or less worked with the Institute (at least by collaborating with Gertrude)…

Given how Gerry didn’t mention his father’s blindness to Jon: no, Gertrude didn’t “tell him about Eric”. Not a surprise. (Gertruuuuude…)

- Some other bits relevant to the timeline:

* Given that (according to one of the given timelines) Elias joined the Institute in 1991 and became Head in 1996 (MAG049) and that Eric didn’t know about his ~promotion~:

(MAG154) ERIC: […] Wright would have preferred you not to know…! How is he, by the way? GERTRUDE: James? He died about… twelve years ago. Elias is Head of the Institute, now. ERIC: “Elias”? Elias Bouchard, seriously? GERTRUDE: Hm, he has changed a lot. ERIC: Must have!

It means that Eric left between 1991 and 1996. Given that Gerry was very little when Eric died, and a kid/teenager in 2002 (MAG035), it’s possible that Gerry was actually a biiit younger than Jon – who was born around 1987-1988…? ;__;

* So, Eric had left the Institute before 1996… but clearly identified Adelard as Gertrude’s “friend”:

(MAG154) ERIC: She never played dumb when I was stalked by bloated, blood-sucking things, or told me I was “imagining it” when I saw your friend Adelard drop a screaming box into the Thames.

The earliest acknowledgement of Gertrude being in contact with Dekker was during MAG077, recorded in November 1996. She had also mentioned an older statement (either “by” Adelard or where Adelard appeared) from July 1991:

(MAG077) GERTRUDE: Based on the interactions and effects, I suspect this to be the creature that Adelard Dekker refers to as the “NotThem” in statement 9910607. […] Based on Dekker’s statement, it would seem Polaroids are also relatively stable.

(Or February 1991; the “7” had become a “2” in the next episode.) We’re still missing this one, since Jon had found another statement in the file in MAG078. I didn’t have the impression that Gertrude and Adelard were in close contact yet in MAG077 (“Adelard Dekker”, name + last name, implied… some distance) but it looks like, no, they were already close enough for Eric to identify him and link him to Gertrude before 1996.

* Mary had given Eric’s page to Gertrude on the 3rd of July 2008 (MAG062); the recording of Gertrude and Eric is from 21st July 2008 (MAG154). Despite Gertrude’s words, I would have almost expected Gertrude to wait… years, before invoking Eric. On the one hand, she “just” waited 18 days before listening to it; on the other hand… it was indeed a long time already, although she had good suspicions of what and who it was.

The Buried’s ritual attempt, “The Sunken Sky” had taken place on 17th June 2008; so, cheer! When Eric told Gertrude all of this and she didn’t flinch:

(MAG154) ERIC: You know, you were never actually that nice to me when I worked for you, Gertrude. Not like Michael, or Emma. […] She never promised anything. Not even in her vows. She never betrayed me. Not like you. She never played dumb when I was stalked by bloated, blood-sucking things, or told me I was “imagining it” when I saw your friend Adelard drop a screaming box into the Thames. She didn’t try to keep me in the dark just so I wouldn’t stop being useful. She never made me complicit in a thousand nightmares, and lives ruined for the sick joy of some otherworldly voyeur. Compared to that… I suppose a few murders were easier to stomach…! […] But I couldn’t be a part of it. Not when I saw what happened to everyone else you involved. I had to get out, to escape this place. I had a son to look after, he needed me! … Or so I thought. And that’s when you turn nasty, isn’t it? When all your… “resources”, they no longer want to serve their purpose. I suppose you didn’t know there was a way out, a way to… escape. But if you had, would you have told me…? […] She laid out her own plans as well; her dreams of power. In many ways, I guess they were no better than yours. But at least, she didn’t bother to hide behind noble aims.

It was just a month after she had sacrificed and dismembered Jan Kilbride to stop The Buried!

* … Gertrude……………

(MAG154) ERIC: You know, you were never actually that nice to me when I worked for you, Gertrude. Not like Michael, or Emma. […] And that’s when you turn nasty, isn’t it? When all your… “resources”, they no longer want to serve their purpose. I suppose you didn’t know there was a way out, a way to… escape. But if you had, would you have told me…?

The exchange took place in July 2008 and we know that The Great Twisting didn’t happen before October 2009 (since Deborah Madaki received an invitation to Sannikov Land from Gabriel one week before she gave her statement in MAG126). Which means… that when MAG154 happened, Michael Shelley was still working in the Archives. Would still be for a bit over a year before Gertrude sacrificed him to stop The Spiral’s ritual. It’s not really surprising that Gertrude “there’s ten years yet before I can afford a conscience” Robinson 1°) didn’t share with Michael that she had received a trace of Eric (Michael-The-Distortion did tell Jon that Michael Shelley had been kept ignorant of the spookiness), although they were on good terms, 2°) still ruthlessly sacrificed Michael to stop The Great Twisting despite Eric’s harsh words about her behaviour and motivations, about how they hurt people around her, about how there was absolutely nothing ���noble” to them, 3°) didn’t share with Michael that there was a way out of the Archives and acted just like Eric predicted. Indeed, Gertrude learned about it… and didn’t share that knowledge with those who could have benefited from it. Didn’t give them a choice, whether to stay or to leave.

(And, from the depiction of Michael Shelley in MAG101? I am not even sure that he would have chosen to leave.)

- INCREDIBLY, Eric Actually Had The Qualifications for the job:

(MAG154) ERIC: So when I finished my Master’s in Library Science and saw a vacancy at the Magnus Institute, of all places, I jumped at the chance. The chance to pursue my passion and my career at the same time seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up! It was only an “assistant archivist” position, of course, but that was fine. A good entry position, I’d, “I’d soon move on,” I told myself. [HUFF] Yeah… And for the first few years, it was pretty much exactly the job I expected. Longer hours than I hoped, and the Archivist seemed less interested in doing her job than I was; but all told, there were worse places to work.

James Wright’s time… another era. Present-time, Elias hired Jon who doesn’t have any library-science-related diploma (MAG093), and Martin who lied on his CV (MAG056); Sasha, who was more on the computer side of things; Tim, who… actually had a background in a publishing company, so was probably more in his element than the others. Of course Tim and Eric had to die: they were actually competent.

- I like how you could clearly identify Mary as Beholding/End through Eric’s eyes:

(MAG154) ERIC: Then I met Mary. She was like no one I’d ever met before in my life. She was beautiful. Like a… u–uh, like a shark is beautiful. Every movement she made was deliberate, sharp, and her eyes were always focused on something, always watching. And when she looked at me, I always felt afraid. But there was something else. Something under the fear. Something that made me feel very aware of all – my – blood. […] And Mary pushed so hard. Harder, even, than you. But I let her, because… she gave me something I had never before experienced: danger! The things she taught me, had me do… I’d never known anything like it. Whenever I kissed her, it tasted like blood.

That charisma, and also DD: Eric no…

(It’s weird because, first depiction of Mary we got (MAG004), she was already dead and a ghost. First time we heard her: she was already an old woman (MAG062), and quite horrible. Eric’s statement was… hilarious/tragic/sad in the fact that it was partially about how and why he had tried to escape the Archives, and a lot about how he was absolutely taken in (and over) by Mary… but also explained how she was getting her ways. What is it with old women in TMA being dangerous and murderous and domineering and kinda hot? Mary was born around 1946 (MAG062: “I was 9 years old at the time, so it would have been… 1955?”), Gertrude presumably during the late 40s/early 50s (MAG137: “The Risen War failed [in 1942] a few years before I was even born.” + MAG145: “Can’t have been older than… twenty-five.” when she retrieved some of Agnes’s hair in the ashes at Hill Top Road, and the house had burned in 1974 according to MAG008), Agnes was born in the early 60s if she was truly eleven in Ronald’s statement… those were fine years, uh.)

- I have a bit of trouble understanding the status of Eric’s sight, as a ghost/~memory~:

(MAG154) ERIC: I suppose…! Mary used to get me out to bounce ideas off of; talk through her thoughts and theories. Never listened to me, obviously, but… nothing new there. GERTRUDE: Well, it’s… good to see you, I suppose. ERIC: You too. … You got old. GERTRUDE: Better than being dead. ERIC: [HUFF] Fair enough. To be honest, I’m impressed, more than anything. Hard to get old in this business; you either die or you, er… “stay young”. [PAUSE] … How did Mary look? GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLE] She got old, too.

Gertrude didn’t notice that he couldn’t see, and Eric specifically mentioned that Mary had made him “watch” his own dismemberment. The way she initially checked if it was indeed Eric was similar to Jon’s reaction when invoking Gerry in MAG111, so it might be that the people invoked do not have… well-defined or identifiable shape outside of their voices; but then, Mary had been able to recognise ghosts on sight when she was a child observing the doctor (MAG062). And here: on the one hand, Eric noticed Gertrude being old; on the other hand, he asked about Mary (although… it was implied that she hadn’t spoken to him in a while – “used to get me out”). Or is it because Eric doesn’t have any senses left, only… overall perceptions of the world around him, so he was able to see Gertrude because he wasn’t a body anymore…? Or just guessed from her voice that she “sounded” older, therefore had grown old…?

- Crying a bit though, because Eric… was aware of Mary’s doings. Was disillusioned about the fact that no, she had never cared about him. But still had the instinct to:

(MAG154) ERIC: So. Was there anything else? GERTRUDE: No. No, I, I don’t think so. ERIC: Then, if you don’t mind? I think I’d like to go away, now. […] If you see Mary again, tell her– … No. [HUFF] I guess there’s not really anything else to say. [CLICK.]

Eric… (Also YIPS that he was… very fond of Gerry, described Gerry as his main motivation (ANCHOR?) to leave the Archives – not Mary (though that could be a small retconning on his part) – and still… had thought that it was an acceptable idea to have a child with Mary despite knowing full well that she was a serial killer and dangerous. “I chose the option I thought might keep Gerry safe. At least, if I was home with him, I could perhaps… soften the edges of his mother.” Eric, my librarian-with-a-degree, my dude: Gerry didn’t come out of nowhere or only from Mary, the fact that you were aware of who she was and still accepted to bring a child into this mess… ;;) (But then: he was absolutely taken with Mary, uh…)

- ;; What Eric said about Gertrude, mentioning what Mary wasn’t doing to him…

(MAG154) ERIC: She never betrayed me. Not like you. She never played dumb when I was stalked by bloated, blood-sucking things, or told me I was “imagining it” when I saw your friend Adelard drop a screaming box into the Thames. She didn’t try to keep me in the dark just so I wouldn’t stop being useful. She never made me complicit in a thousand nightmares, and lives ruined for the sick joy of some otherworldly voyeur. […] Mary, at least, played straight with me. She knew all about the Institute. And when we were married, when she was sure I could handle it, she laid it all out for me: the Powers, the rituals, all the messy little cogs of the games you play with the universe. She laid out her own plans as well; her dreams of power. In many ways, I guess they were no better than yours. But at least, she didn’t bother to hide behind noble aims. … Maybe that’s why I chose her, in The End. At least she was honest.

… was absolutely a reflection of what Gerry said Mary had done to him:

(MAG111) GERRY: Eventually, I grew old enough and wise enough to see her obsession for what it really was: hubris. She lived her life just carefully enough not to be destroyed by things she studied, but that was it. The things out there weren’t like taming fire, they couldn’t be contained or used for light or warmth. The best you could hope for from them, would be that they don’t spot you, and instead my mum chased after them, obsessed with others who had tried to stare at them without being blinded: y’know, Flamsteed, Smirke, Leitner. Idiots who destroyed themselves chasing a secret that wasn’t worth knowing. And the worst thing was, she marked me as a part of that, without my understanding. Or consent.

So ;; Biased much, Eric, and he still wasn’t able to realise how toxic this relationship was, uh…

(Gerry’s “secret that wasn’t worth knowing” was AOUCH, too, given how… Eric explained how “I always loved ghosts. They fascinated me. Not the rattling chains and horror part of it, of course, but the mystery. The promise of secret knowledge – of seeing something that no one else was privy to. A secret world. It… gripped my imagination.”)

- We’ve known for a while that Gertrude used to have three assistants:

(MAG080) LEITNER: I think she was lonely. I didn’t meet her until about six years ago, after she’d lost the last of her own assistants. She would mention them sometimes. I believe she missed having someone to talk to on occasion. ARCHIVIST: I… I didn’t know Gertrude had assistants. LEITNER: Of course. Three of them, each meeting an unpleasant end.

And we finally have the name of the last one: Emma.

(MAG154) ERIC: You know, you were never actually that nice to me when I worked for you, Gertrude. Not like Michael, or Emma.

And there was a time during which they had all worked together… Eric highlighted that it was rare to get old in this business but, surprisingly, Michael Shelley lasted around fifteen years (or more) as Gertrude’s assistant? And still had no clue what was happening? Given how people who came close to Gertrude… didn’t have a lot of positive things to say about it:

(MAG099) ARCHIVIST: Everyone who came close to her… seems like it… it went badly. Her assistants, Gerard, Leitner, Elias, though I don’t think Gertrude had anything to do with his going rotten.

(MAG101) MICHAEL: Even being what I am, I have rarely seen anyone so adept at distorting the truth as Gertrude Robinson. Michael was protective of the frail old woman he believed her to be. So… so delicate, so forgetful, yet gently wise. He cared for her. He trusted her. And she fed him to me. She made him me to destroy our transcendence. And she did not hesitate. […] Gertrude had made sure that all her assistants were ready. That none of them would be suspicious if they were told they were going abroad for work.

(MAG154) ERIC: But I couldn’t be a part of it. Not when I saw what happened to everyone else you involved. I had to get out, to escape this place.

So what happened to Emma…? I feel like likely there has been a trend of Jon reacting to current events&preoccupations as lead-up for his hunting down a statement about it (MAG152, he discussed Jane Prentiss with Helen / MAG153, he read a Corruption statement), so he could try to learn more about “Emma”… I’m pretty sure we had never heard her name before; who is she?

On the one hand, I felt like Eric isolated “Emma” a bit when mentioning her, as if… she was already gone when he left (before 1996). On the other hand, he would have accused Gertrude of her death if Emma had been killed or fed to Spooks when he was still around. So, what happened to her…?

(Three assistants: one sacrificed to stop a ritual (Michael), one escaping for love (Eric, for his son), and one… forgotten? It’s not a clear-cut reproduction with Jon’s era, though we get the 2 men and 1 women dying one after the other: Tim indeed died stopping a ritual too, but you could also say that he died for love (in Danny’s name)… and Martin, like Michael, is heading towards another power. But still. Sasha didn’t have the time to get bitter about Jon; Tim got accusatory, Martin sounds harsher too… just like Michael and Eric, absolutely disillusioned about Gertrude.)

- Alrighty, so, this is only the second time ever we’re hearing about Elias’s predecessor and it came with a few details putting some things into perspective / confirming some theories, and reinforcing some others. The only mention of “James Wright” so far had been in MAG049:

(MAG049) ARCHIVIST: Supplemental. Elias Bouchard is a difficult man to pin down, certainly since he became head of the Institute in 1996, taking over from James Wright, who ran the place from ‘73 until he passed away. It was a remarkably fast climb to the top, as from what I can find, it looks like he only joined the Institute five years before, in 1991, working in the Artefact Storage. Perhaps he was simply that impressive. Certainly, the Elias I know now is almost unmatched in terms of paranormal knowledge. Well. Theoretical knowledge, at least. And yet, everything I found out about his life before the Institute seems… an ill fit with the austere man I know. He apparently graduated with a Third from Christ Church’s College in PPE, and I found an old gossip column in the student newspaper that – sure well – that mentioned him. If I’m not reading too much into it, the implication seems to be that he was… something of a… pothead. [CHUCKLE] Was he… like that when he first came to work here…?

(MAG154) ERIC: Wright would have preferred you not to know…! How is he, by the way? GERTRUDE: James? He died about… twelve years ago. Elias is Head of the Institute, now. ERIC: “Elias”? Elias Bouchard, seriously? GERTRUDE: Hm, he has changed a lot. ERIC: Must have! […] GERTRUDE: So. How did you do it? How did you quit the Archives? ERIC: It was actually really simple. Not easy, but simple. [SCOFF] You’ll kick yourself when I tell you. GERTRUDE: Okay… ERIC: You were almost there, you know, with your theory that James could watch us through any eye, even an illustration. So what did you do? How did you sever that link? GERTRUDE: … My… God! ERIC: I left to avoid dragging my family, my son into this life; to try and look after him. But Mary decided that a newly blinded husband was… simply too much of a burden.

So, confirmations:

* James Wright was Spooky, too, and identified as such by Gertrude – Eric was in the confidence, too.

* This is indeed why Gertrude had been scratching eyes out of her possessions:

(MAG054) [CLICK–] ARCHIVIST: Supplemental. I broke into Gertrude’s flat. […] Oh. And… I looked through a handful of books on her shelf. They were very well taken care of – with the exception that… any time a person’s face was featured on the cover, their eyes had been cut out, and very carefully removed. End supplement.

(MAG113) ARCHIVIST: Found anything yet? MARTIN: Er… er… Bunch of… eyeless paintings? MELANIE: [JOVIALLY] Snap! Eyeless dolls. Oh, and. Just a lot of shredded newspapers.

Though, it’s not absolutely confirmed that James Wright operated this way (it was Gertrude’s hypothesis), and it doesn’t necessary mean that Elias is also spying on people this way… but it could be how. Elias did admit, twice, that Gertrude had successfully managed to escape his surveillance:

(MAG080) LEITNER: How did you know I was here? ELIAS: I didn’t. You’re very well hidden. But Jon is not, and he failed to take the same precautions I’m sure you took for granted with Gertrude. I knew he was talking to someone.

(MAG102) ARCHIVIST: And you can’t just… See where she put it. ELIAS: She was… She got very good at hiding things from me. ARCHIVIST: How embarrassing for you.

If Elias can see through eyes, whether they’re illustrations/more or less eye-shaped things/actual eyes: AHAHAHA good luck with that, Team Archives. We know from Patreon content that the Institute’s official files and statement bear the Institute’s crest, the owl. Meaning there are eyes everywhere in the Archives.

(You bet that Elias might have ordered mass-produced stationery just to put the logo everywhere. Pens. Papers. Notes. Paperweights. Handkerchiefs. The mug you’re (not) drinking your tea from.)

* Archival Assistants being bound to the Archives is something that predates Elias’s position as Head of the Institute – this is our first confirmation of that fact. And both Gertrude and Michael (since Eric knew him from his Archives days, pre-Elias) survived James Wright’s death. Even though Elias had said that killing the Head of the Institute would mean insta-death for the entire Archival staff. So. It’s possible that there are actually two separate things at work (being bound to the Eye and not being able to quit / being bound to Elias “like fingers on a hand” and dying if he dies), but in any case: either Elias lied on the kill-me-and-it-kills-you bit… either something happened during the transition from James Wright to Elias Bouchard, that allowed a “continuity” that did not kill the Team Archives of the time. Consensual ritual? Body-hopping? Elias backstabbing James and taking his mantle?

* Eric’s tone (disbelief and cracking up) when he learned that “Elias Bouchard” had taken James Wright’s succession Said It All – yeah, Elias was a Known Pothead in his early days at the Institute too, uh. And as Gertrude put it, he “has changed a lot”. Was it a ~natural~ change because people just… tend to change fast at the Institute when they get involved with its spooky parts (people were assuming that Tim was having a breakdown in season 3 and, indeed, if you had known him from his pre-Archives day… he seemed nothing alike. Martin’s and Daisy’s changes compared to their first appearances are also quite jarring) or… something else.

I’m still not on board with the Elias=Jonah theory, because I still feel like… Elias is too dumb… (and restricted: he did lament on his current abilities in MAG102). (And also: because I lovelove the idea that Our Current Elias indeed has that past of being a spoiled rich kid who got his family to buy him a place in uni, and then did nothing except smoke weed, and ended up drifting to the Institute without realising what he was signing up for.)  But I do admit that mm, a LOT of things are piling up giving the idea that something, most likely Jonah, has been body-hopping from one Head of the Institute to another:

(MAG096) DAISY: El–Elias didn’t say. ARCHIVIST: No, he doesn’t, uh… He’s not big on micromanagement. SARAH: It’s Elias now, then? ARCHIVIST: [WHISPERING] What?

(MAG101) NIKOLA: Is it… your Elias who listens? Helloooooo! […] So, Elias, can I call you Elias?, let me set the scene, as I know you can’t actually see this. […] You know Elias, can I call you Elias?, you have not raised this one very well! […] Oh, no, I’m afraid he can’t See, can you Elias?, can I call you Elias? – what’s the point of having a secret place of power if you can’t hide it from a big stupid eye?

(MAG135, Manuela Dominguez) “When you read this, I would consider it a great favour if you could share my words with the Head of your Institute. Tell him that Maxwell Rayner sends his regards and offers… sanctuary. A time of holy Darkness is at hand, when The Eye will close forever, and in the spirit of the friendship they once shared, he offers an opportunity – to surrender.”

(MAG148) BASIRA: What? ARCHIVIST: … I–I don’t know, I mean… We still don’t really know… what Elias actually is…? I thought… Maybe if he was more like me than we realised… BASIRA: He might have some advice? ARCHIVIST: Stupid, I know.

… But as long as it’s not confirmed, I can continue to think about how pretty damn funny it would be for every spook around to be assuming that Elias is actually “Jonah”… when he isn’t. (And maybe it had been the case until Wright, but then, Elias put an end to that.) Elias=Jonah is not the only option anyway – it could be a matter of memory-sharing rather than body-hopping, etc.

(I’m still HYSTERICAl over the fact that back in season 2, Jon’s main theory re: Why Elias Might Be Gertrude’s Murderer was:

(MAG049) ARCHIVIST: The difficulty comes from the fact that the only person in the Institute who worked here before he took over… was Gertrude. Did he… kill her because she knew something about his past? And if so… how can I prove it…?

… because she might have known about his past as a pothead. JON.) (It’s a bit surprising, though, that… past staff didn’t report to the new ones about how ahaha, the current Head used to be Like That when he had begun to work here? It’s indeed like Gertrude was the only link between the old era and another one, when Jon (and Martin? He had worked at the Institute since at least 2009) joined…)

- It had been mentioned in the… season 3 Q&A, I think?, that the tapes were “not neutral”, and we’re still exploring various aspects of this: the tape recorders choosing which scenes we (as listeners) are allowed to hear since they’ve begun to be (officially) autonomous in season 3; the fact that they didn’t bother recording the stories Jon violently tore out from people in season 4, except for Floyd (as Jon put it in MAG147: “I–I mean, I don’t record anything anymore, not… not really, I just… sort of assume they’ll… turn on, if it’s important.”). We had already had cases of Jon listened to some tapes without other options to choose from: he was given whichever Basira was able to sneak out for him back in season 2 (and even back then: was the “pick” absolutely random, or orientated?); Elias had sent him MAG087’s (with the clear purpose of sending him in Jude’s direction or, as Jon inferred in MAG102, because Elias had no idea what the heck he was doing?); The Web sent him MAG130’s cobwebs-wrapped… But now, it’s also official that Jon was actually influenced in his choice when he did have multiple options to pick from, including when it came to the tapes he would ~naturally~ avoid.

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: I’ve found a– [SIGH] I went back to Eli– er, Peter’s office. To that box of tapes; started rifling through. And I started to try and pay attention to the ones I… wasn’t drawn to. The tapes I instinctively wanted to discard. [SIGH] There was one, this one, that my hand… pulled back from. I–I dropped it, twice, when I went to pick it up. Even now, I’m… [AUDIBLE FORCED SMILE] struggling to press play…! I am the avatar of Awful Knowledge And Revealed Secrets… so what does it not want me to know…?

………………… Given how The Web sent him one a few months before, how Annabelle has admitted that she is “watching” and sometimes nudging him, how Jon can’t concentrate on his own lighter, I’m not sure that this is Beholding (or only Beholding) trying to lower his interests over certain files or tapes, though.

A few considerations about the tapes for themselves:

* I’m still not sure which tapes Jon has listened to, amongst the ones recorded when he was absent or comatose, notably MAG108, MAG118, MAG120 and MAG121. Does Jon know that Elias knows about the dreams and was… satisfied by them? It still doesn’t feel like he has heard MAG118’s – or, at least, he probably hasn’t heard about Martin’s mother (I’m not sure he would have acted the way he did in MAG129 if he had known what their relationship was like); there was also this bit in MAG126 which sounded like Jon indeed hadn’t heard anything post-MAG117:

(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: [DRY EXALE] There was a tape recorder waiting for me when I sat down. They’re not even hiding it anymore. There weren’t any tapes from when I was… away – I checked. Whatever they are, they are here for me.

… But even at the start of season 4, I’m not sure that he had heard MAG108’s since:

(MAG122) ARCHIVIST: … Oh. Wow. O… kay, er… Great, s–so… what’s the problem? BASIRA: He appointed an “interim” director. Guy named Peter Lukas. ARCHIVIST: … Oh. BASIRA: Yeah. ARCHIVIST: Read about him. [LIGHT CHUCKLE] BASIRA: Yeah, I’ve… hunted down some of his old statements and… yeah.

“Read about him”, not “heard him”. Does Peter even record on the tapes…? Or did the tapes featuring him just not make their way to Jon? Jon has since accessed Martin’s secret stash (MAG152) but did it include MAG134’s and MAG144’s (the tapes where Peter and Martin discussed The Extinction together)?

* Eternal question of who is listening to the tapes / through the tape recorders: I Still Have That Tape Recorders Post To Go Back To/Finish One Day (… I began season 4 with it, gdi, it’s just. getting longer and longer.), but one aspect that I still find strange is the… framing of Gertrude’s tapes.

We have had cases of clear cross-recordings, with Jon’s tape recorder still on while he’s listening to the glimpses of another ones: the bit of Daisy’s statement from MAG061 when he was readying himself to open the coffin (MAG132), MAG001!Jon’s introducing his first statement while Jon and the others were exploring the house at Hill Top Road and discovered what Annabelle had left for them (MAG147). But when it comes to Gertrude’s tape, it’s not the same framing, and we got another demonstration:

(MAG154) [CLICK–] ARCHIVIST: […] Even now, I’m… [AUDIBLE FORCED SMILE] struggling to press play…! I am the avatar of Awful Knowledge And Revealed Secrets… so what does it not want me to know…? [LONG SIGH] [CLICK.]

[CLICK–] GERTRUDE: [LONG SIGH] Right. No use putting it off further. […] ERIC: If you see Mary again, tell her– … No. [HUFF] I guess there’s not really anything else to say. [CLICK.]

[CLICK–] [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] [SOFTLY BUT WITH FEELING] … Fuck. [CLICK.]

There are these double clicks: we’re not listening to Jon listening to Gertrude’s tape, we’re switching to Gertrude’s tapes. It’s possible that Jon is loading her tapes in his own tape recorder, but then, that was clearly not what Jon was implying there (it would have been an action a bit more complex than simply “struggling to press play”) and it also wasn’t how he had listened to Gertrude’s tape with Georgie:

(MAG087) GEORGIE: Look, I’m really not sure about this. ARCHIVIST: I just need to borrow it for a half hour or so. I, I’ll look after it. GEORGIE: Wha– No, I don’t– You can blow it up for all I care. It’s been in the loft for, like, twenty years. If I need tape hiss, I’ll add it in post. ARCHIVIST: So, what’s the problem? GEORGIE: With playing an unmarked tape from your stalker? […] Look I’ve, I’ve got work to do. You listen, or don’t listen, or cross-record, or whatever you want, just… just think about it first, okay? You can choose to leave it alone. [DEPARTING FOOTSTEPS] [DOOR CLOSES] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] [TAPE PLAYER IS LOADED] [CLICK.]

[CLICK–]

It’s not a cross-recording of “Jon listening to Gertrude’s time”. Every time, there is silence between the two [CLICK] – no “spooling” sound, no hissing anymore. I do understand why it would work like this as a meta-choice from the editors (it’s clearer this way and we’re put in Jon’s situation while he discovered the information, rather than… risking to have the information butchered by Jon’s reactions if he wouldn’t be able to stay quiet) but I really don’t think that it’s a choice without meaning in the story itself: every time there is a so-called “cross-recording”, we’re actually switching from Jon’s tape recorder, recording him, to… something else (just listening to Gertrude’s tape? Being back in Gertrude’s time?).

At the end of season 3, Max Mustermann mentioned that something was “listening in” (and that he “[did]n’t like it”), which could be something different than our point of view as listener: there could be something listening in in their present and something/someone else listening to the tapes days/months/years after the recording happened. If it’s the latter: we have to consider that this “someone” not only accessed Jon’s tapes, but also Gertrude’s, and was able to reorganise them chronologically following Jon’s footsteps. If it’s the former: that “something” is able to switch from one tape recorder to the other (as it did, too, in MAG039, MAG079 and MAG118), whether it’s to listen to pre-existing tapes or to witness the recordings of current events. Whether it’s a conscious will or acting more on instinct (being able to feel when spooks or spooky events or just Episodes Of That Little Soap Opera You Call An Archives are coming up), it’s not passive either: it makes discrete choices when it comes to turning on and off during every episode, it doesn’t let other characters decide what should be cut off (Tim&Daisy turning it off in MAG082 before it clicked back on; Elias inviting Martin to cut the recording before it clicked back on, “Mm! Sorry. Looks like it wants to know what’s going on.” in MAG118). So what is it…?

(Jon said in MAG114 that he didn’t think it was Beholding; MAG118 hinted that it wasn’t Elias either since he wasn’t controlling it… I’m still taken with the idea that it’s The Web, but I agree that The Web using the recorders and the tapes as mundane items (delivering them) doesn’t mean that She’s spookily controlling them. Who/what else, then? One aspect of Extinction? Someone stuck within them à la Sergey Ushanka – Gertrude, Sasha, Jonah Magnus, “Emma”…?)

* Interestingly, Eric wasn’t surprised at all that Gertrude was using a tape recorder:

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: Hm! And, the second thing? ERIC: I want to make my statement. GERTRUDE: Is that really necessary? ERIC: I don’t want to disappear on her terms. Or yours! I want to speak my piece, have it recorded. GERTRUDE: Mm, fine. Tape’s running…! Subject is Eric Delano, recorded 21st of July, 2008, regarding… ERIC: Mm, what else! “Me, Mary, and the Archives.”

Eric had left the Institute before 1996 (since Elias became the Head that year, and Eric hadn’t witnessed it), which is also the year of, as of now, the oldest of Gertrude’s recordings that we have: MAG077, recorded on November 4th, 1996, labelled “Changeling / Imposter” (Lucy Cooper’s statement about the Not!Them taking her mother’s place). Since that statement explicitly mentioned that tapes weren’t rewritten by the Not!Them bending reality, I was thinking that Gertrude had potentially begun to record some statements with information that she deemed more valuable because she knew the Not!Them was roaming wild, but that was one amongst… many hypotheses. We still don’t know why Gertrude began to record statements and what motivated her recordings on a case-to-case basis; Jon himself wondered about it as soon as in season 2, and still hadn’t put out a guess into words in season 3 (although it was still on his mind, as revealed by his questioning Gerry about Gertrude’s tape habits).

On the one hand, of course Eric wouldn’t be surprised by a tape recorder: he died in the 90s, they were still widespread. On the other hand, Gertrude might have been using them back when he was still around, and that’s strengthening the hope that there is a recording of stoner/pre-Head Elias with Gertrude somewhere /o/

- It’s… extremely interesting how Eric’s portrayal of Gertrude gave the impression that she was much, muuuuuch more Beholding-aligned than we were previously made to think:

(MAG154) ERIC: She didn’t try to keep me in the dark just so I wouldn’t stop being useful. She never made me complicit in a thousand nightmares, and lives ruined for the sick joy of some otherworldly voyeur. […] I know what you say, what you think you’re doing – saving the world one poor doomed soul at a time. I mean, I understand; I do! … But I couldn’t be a part of it. Not when I saw what happened to everyone else you involved. I had to get out, to escape this place. […] Mary, at least, played straight with me. She knew all about the Institute. And when we were married, when she was sure I could handle it, she laid it all out for me: the Powers, the rituals, all the messy little cogs of the games you play with the universe. She laid out her own plans as well; her dreams of power. In many ways, I guess they were no better than yours. But at least, she didn’t bother to hide behind noble aims. … Maybe that’s why I chose her, in The End. At least she was honest. […] GERTRUDE: Did you need to do anything special? Any… ritual, or… [SIGH] ERIC: Just as long as they’re useless. I went the extra mile, destroyed them completely, but… I’m sure you’ll find something… “neater”. A strong acid, precisely applied? That sounds more your style. If you decide to do it, that is. GERTRUDE: Nn, I, I–I don’t know… ERIC: No… It’s not an easy sacrifice to make, is it? GERTRUDE: I still have work to do. ERIC: Don’t you always. GERTRUDE: Yeah… Anyway. I think I’ll probably do some research of my own before the rather extreme step of… blinding myself.

She sounded so… vehemently opposed? at the idea of blinding herself – immediately exposing it as something she wouldn’t do, perceiving it as a non-option and vaguely trying to justify herself. And there is Eric’s mention of “a thousand nightmares” which seems to imply that Gertrude… was taking live-statements pretty often, or used to?! (It was… a bit weird, indeed, how she had behaved with Lucia, presenting the “dreams” as a fatality when she could have chosen to have Lucia write her story down, and I am still wondering why she needed a recording of that one in the first place).

Jon had pointed out his surprise that Gertrude hadn’t recorded MAG102’s – was it because she was with Gerry and he had prevented her from taking it live, or because she didn’t want to show him her ugly side…? Was it because… she was like Jon, and trying to justify to herself that she “needed” the stories live when in truth the whole point was for her to feed on people’s trauma, to feel good…?

And GUUUUH, the contrast between Gertrude’s instinctive reluctance at the idea of gouging her eyes out, vs. Jon who… seemed to jump on the idea:

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: … Because… uh, because I–I trust you, I– I’m trying to think about what to do, and I… Well… if I did try this, I… I don’t want to do it alone. MARTIN: [EXHALE] ARCHIVIST: But we could leave here. You and me; escape. […] MARTIN: No, I mean… [DRY CHUCKLING] Could–could you even survive at this stage? Is there anything else keeping you alive? ARCHIVIST: Uh, I–I don’t know. I don’t… “Know”. But… [EXHALE] Maybe it’s worth it? The risk, y–you and me, together, getting out of here… MARTIN: [SNIFF] ARCHIVIST: … one way or another… […] MARTIN: I just… Look, I need to see this thing through with Peter to the end. If–if what he’s saying is even half true, I need to be there. ARCHIVIST: But what if you don’t? I mean…! We could just leave. I mean, whatever… their plan is for me, I am damn sure that doing that isn’t it. I could derail everything– MARTIN: [NERVOUS CHUCKLING] ARCHIVIST: –We could derail everything, and then just… leave…!

Martin might have had a few points re:the fact Jon might not actually want to do it… but still. Gertrude immediately gave reasons not to do it. Jon presented it as a way out.

- … Jon surprised me (positively) and holy heck, it had been a while. From:

(MAG137) [CLICK–] ARCHIVIST: [HEAVY SIGH] So. Funny story. Turns out when Daisy broke the lock to get into Elias’s old office, well, she did a good enough job that it’s not… obviously broken. So it hasn’t been replaced yet. So I had a look around. [SIGH] M–mostly as I remember, but… There’s a box of tapes and statements in the corner. Obviously those Elias either didn’t feel he could trust me with yet, or maybe just the ones he was checking himself. Ideally, I’d like to avoid… tipping Peter off for as long as possible that I have access. And it turns out I don’t… Know… Elias’s safe combination. Not yet, anyway. So I just took the first one that called to me, and it’s… [DRY NASAL EXHALE] It’s good. I suppose. Glad to know I don’t need to worry about a Slaughter ritual; nice to get… confirmation that whoever… Eric was, he was Gerry’s father and… well, one assumes Mary Keay’s partner.

To:

(MAG154) [CLICK–] ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] Hm. [SIGH] I’ve, uh… I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, after what happened with Daisy last week. About… what I can do. What I am. What feels… right. I’ve found a– [SIGH] I went back to Eli– er, Peter’s office. To that box of tapes; started rifling through. And I started to try and pay attention to the ones I… wasn’t drawn to. The tapes I instinctively wanted to discard. [SIGH] There was one, this one, that my hand… pulled back from. I–I dropped it, twice, when I went to pick it up. Even now, I’m… [AUDIBLE FORCED SMILE] struggling to press play…! I am the avatar of Awful Knowledge And Revealed Secrets… so what does it not want me to know…?

And both times, it was about one of Gertrude’s tapes, mentioning Eric and Gerry (and even Adelard in passing!), from the same stash. But what contrast, from Jon relying on his spooky powers to guide him in a direction, to Jon purposefully aiming for his own kind of silence (MAG153, “Don’t listen to the blood.” “Listen to the quiet”)…!

At this point, I was losing hope of seeing him get proactive in order to try and counter The Eye’s influence. It sounds like listening to Melanie (MAG150) and to Daisy (MAG153) inspired him a bit? And Helen-the-Distortion too, in a way, as a counterexample: she was encouraging him to “embrac[e] it” (MAG146), explained how Helen “chose to stop feeling guilty” (MAG154) and made fun of Jon for his “brooding”… The others made sure that he wouldn’t attack any more people since they learned about it in MAG146 and, now, Jon is taking little steps to go against his influences (or at least try to pinpoint when they could be at work and motivating some of his actions that are still guilt and regrets-inducing for him).

That’s good! Aaaand I have no idea if he’s at a risk of crumbling in a what’s-the-point way after what Martin told him! (It could lead to Jon… thinking about Martin’s words, and whether they hold a bit of truth re:his self-sacrificing tendencies, the fact that he indeed told Daisy that it could be Right if he were to die and indeed agreed to do dangerous things and things which could kill him… but probably doesn’t want to die indeed. Or Jon will go back to “moping around” and Daisy will try to get him drunk again.)

(Six episodes left, last of the season is usually the “debriefing” after the action, 158 and 159 will probably be the action itself… What can Jon actually do in the three episodes before that? Martin is Going To Do Something, but Jon…? It feels like if he gets involved, it would be either because he goes after Martin out of worry, either because something is inflicted on him (4th kidnapping? Julia&Trevor are back, Peter could still have a dirty trick up his sleeve, etc.) It’s strange, because Jon has never felt more disconnected from a season finale despite still being the voice we hear the most…?)

- I am also RELIEVED that Jon still has in mind that… Elias and Peter probably aren’t neutral and just hoping that The Extinction gets stopped uwu:

(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: But honestly, it’s the internal threats I’m worried about. Peter Lukas is just… sitting up there, doing whatever the hell it is he [STATIC BEGINS AND RISES] and Elias have planned, and Melanie still has that bullet pumping violence into her, waiting to turn this place into another Lanncraig.

(MAG154) MARTIN: I just… Look, I need to see this thing through with Peter to the end. If–if what he’s saying is even half true, I need to be there. ARCHIVIST: But what if you don’t? I mean…! We could just leave. I mean, whatever… their plan is for me, I am damn sure that doing that isn’t it. I could derail everything– MARTIN: [NERVOUS CHUCKLING] ARCHIVIST: –We could derail everything, and then just… leave…!

And that managed to make Jon’s plea even more heartbreaking?! Because he’s aware that Elias and Peter are still threats, are still probably expecting him to fit somewhere in their personal plans – there might not be any big conspiracies, but Elias has demonstrated that he could deceive, lie, manipulate, push in specific directions. But meanwhile, Martin has been told about the “big picture”, has been led to think about broader concerns, has already sacrificed around 9 months of his life after selling himself to protect the others, so… of course he wouldn’t want to give up now. (But as Gertrude showed: there will always be other threats, other concerns that need to be taken care of.)

(Though, I’m. Extremely worried that Jon was able to access Eric’s tape, although he was naturally prone to ignore it. Melanie reported that Elias didn’t have a safe in MAG118; he had acquired one, according to Jon in MAG137. Why wasn’t Eric’s tape inside that safe? Why leave it accessible? Is it because Elias hadn’t even bothered to check them all himself, or had also been made to avoid that one specifically, or… is it because in one way or another, he was waiting for Jon to listen to that one, because it was part of a plan…?)

- I CAN’T BELIEVE that we got 1°) two “Fuck”s in an episode, 2°) JON saying “fuck”, 3°) MARTIN SAYING “FUCK”. Jon was already a big WOW moment, and then Martin… just had the same reaction. Beautiful. Especially given how we know how Hard To Get those are (=> they raise the rating on iTunes, hence theoretically less listeners, so no swearing is gratuitous)… it was a Very Precious Episode.

So many “fuck”s given this season, tho?!

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Oh, I… Melanie, I–I’m so sorry, I– MELANIE: Oooh, fuck off?!

(MAG148) BASIRA: You sent us to the North fucking Pole for no goddamn reason. ELIAS: A, a–hem… miscalculation.

(MAG154) [CLICK–] [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] [SOFTLY BUT WITH FEELING] … Fuck. [CLICK.] […] ARCHIVIST: I know; I know what you said, but I just… I think I’ve found a way for us to leave the Institute. [SILENCE] MARTIN: … Okay…? ARCHIVIST: Yeah. But i–it’s… [INHALE] it’s pretty… drastic. MARTIN: What, [CHUCKLING] you gotta gouge your eyes out or something? [SILENCE] … Fuck off?! [SILENCE] … Right…! Uh–uh…

Tim would be so proud of his ducklings… Team Archives unites… And incredibly, DAISY still hasn’t said “fuck”. SOMEHOW.

+ Honorary mentions:

(MAG127) BASIRA: Can we cut the bullshit? ELIAS: What “bullshit” might that be?

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: I’m… [SHAKY CHUCKLE] W–would you believe I’m… trying to save Daisy? MELANIE: With more bullshit surgery? […] It didn’t stay in my leg because of some Ghostly Masterplan; it stayed… because I wanted it. ARCHIVIST: … Shit. MELANIE: Yes.

(MAG135) BASIRA: [SLAMS HANDS ON THE TABLE] Cut the shit! What are you playing at? ELIAS: I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.

(MAG143) BASIRA: [SIGH] So, what, this was another waste of time? What, no Church, no Dark Sun? … I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch…!

(MAG145) ARTHUR: [CHUCKLE] Always respected you for that. Takes a strong stomach to not give a shit.

(MAG147) BASIRA: Something’s here. MELANIE: No shit! [DOOR OPENS] Look at this place…!

(MAG148) ELIAS: [SNIFF] Good evening, Detecti– [PUNCH] OW! [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PUNCHING] BASIRA: Useless, scheming piece of shit! ELIAS: Detective, this is quite unnece–

(MAG154) ERIC: Sorry, I just… [SNORTING CHUCKLE] I don’t mean to be a dick, but…

This season is so vulgar <3 It was already suspicious that Jon had said his seasonal “shit” so early on (it had happened in MAG039 and MAG078 and (aborted) in MAG099), but I wasn’t seriously expecting him to join the “fuck” team.

- Okay, tl;dr I loved every bit of dialogue in this episode, it was glorious all over, I was “!!” all through it, so much good heartbreak and sadness and PINING, GODS, JON???, so I’ll only give Selected Commentaries:

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: Sorry, I–I just– MARTIN: No, ’t’s fine, I ju– You just surprised me, that’s… Jesus, you alright? You… you look like hell. ARCHIVIST: Oh! Uh, right, I, em… ki–kind of weak. Hungry, I–I guess, sort of. I–I’ve been trying to a–avoid, being, hum… Sticking to old statements? Thank you, for your little “intervention”, by the way. MARTIN: Look, I wouldn’t have had to if you hadn’t– ARCHIVIST: Yes, no, I know, I’m sorry, uh– that didn’t… come out right. Honestly: thank you. [EXHALE] It’s been hell, but… I–I did need to hear it. MARTIN: Oh, hum… Uh, g–good. Heh. Are the others… helping? ARCHIVIST: Oh! [DRY CHUCKLE] They’ve been keeping a… very close eye on me…! But that’s not important – no, well, it is important, but it’s– it’s not why I’m here, I– MARTIN: Jon. Calm down. What do you want?

* I’m so, so glad that Jon… validated what Martin did, regarding Jess’s complaint? Especially given how Martin was afraid of his reaction back at the time (MAG142: “I should probably try to get him this tape, let him know what happened, that someone came in to… But then, ahah, would that just come across as an accusation? Like, because I don’t wanna… And then, then I guess he’d… hear this bit as well, so… I… I… [LONG EXHALE] What do I do…?”). Jon did awful things, was awful in the way he hid and didn’t handle it, and, at least at the moment, there is no further harm being done… although there have already been too many victims. At least, Martin prevented more harm.

(Also: confirmation that Martin indeed send the tape himself, and that it wasn’t Annabelle or Peter giving it to the assistants behind his back? I was still fearing this possibility, since Basira had mentioned that it had been left for them but that she hadn’t seen Martin himself. But given how Martin didn’t object and proudly owned up to his decision when Jon gave the impression of blaming him for it, it was indeed him all along ;w; It took him a few weeks but he had finally decided to send the tape on his own, aah…)

* The emphasis Jon put in that “keeping a… very close eye on me…!” with dry humour… JON… JON, YOU WERE SO SNAPPY ABOUT BASIRA AND DAISY MAKING EYE-THEMED JOKE, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO INDULGE IN THEM:

(MAG143) BASIRA: [SIGH] Eyes peeled. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: … Was that a joke? BASIRA: Yeah.

(MAG147) DAISY: Perhaps they… bugged out. [FOOTSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: [WHISPER] … Was that a joke? BASIRA: Jon, focus.

Jon is going to judge you (and will do the things he’s reproaching you). He had been making Eye-related puns here and there for a while but with his tone here? It was absolutely deliberate and PFTT.

* I love that Martin’s perception of Jon is still that he… looks a mess.

(MAG142) MARTIN: O–okay, okay, hum… What… Would you mind telling me what happened? Uh, what they did? WOMAN: He. MARTIN: … Ah, uh, alright. Hum… Did he… [SIGH] … Did he look like he hadn’t slept in like– WOMAN: Mm–mm. MARTIN: –a week? WOMAN: Yep, uh… MARTIN: … Right…

(Though, Martin pointed out that Jon looked… not good, but I feel that the worst we heard of Jon was from 148 to 152? On the contrary, for the last two episodes, I felt that Jon was… softer again? Less sounding like someone who would be eaten out from the inside by their own hunger? Or he’s behaving like someone would when sleep-deprived: dry and cutting at first, and then all over the place and absolutely messy and jumpy. To me, he sounds better. So I’m amused that apparently, no, he Looks Terrible. Jonny is still trying to tell us that the Archivist is not hot, uh?)

- It’s… a strange feeling given how Peter has precisely been grooming him to become a Lonely avatar (well, dual one?) during season 4, but I had never realised how Beholding Martin was/sounded, before?

(MAG154) MARTIN: Em… like, like permanently? Or… ARCHIVIST: I–I–I don’t know, I–I mean, I suppose? I–i–if your vision comes back, the Beholding probably does as well…! P–probably. But it’s not like it’s easy to only… blind yourself temporarily anyway, uh, I… MARTIN: Y–y–yeah… yeah, uh… […] Could–could you even survive at this stage? Is there anything else keeping you alive? ARCHIVIST: Uh, I–I don’t know. I don’t… “Know”. But… [EXHALE] Maybe it’s worth it? The risk, y–you and me, together, getting out of here… MARTIN: [SNIFF] ARCHIVIST: … one way or another…

The way he immediately wondered about the specifics, the details, how things worked and asks out aloud, half-thinking half wanting to know more more more…? The funny thing is that Martin has always displayed that sort of broad thinking, taking myriads of parameters into account:

(MAG039) SASHA: I’m still not sure why you have this. Drinking in the archives? MARTIN: What? No, no, it’s for worms. ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: For pulling the worms out of people. Like now. SASHA: You, er… what? MARTIN: I used to carry around a knife, but I started thinking that, well, cutting into someone laterally wasn’t really the most efficient way to get them out, and besides which, they seem to be quite slow burrowing in a straight line so, given their size, th-the corkscrew just seemed to be the better option. [HEAVY SILENCE] Look, you guys got to go home every day, okay. I didn’t! I’ve been thinking for a long time about what to do when… well, y’know, this happens.

(MAG110) MARTIN: –but that doesn’t make sense, can he even do that? BASIRA: I don’t know, I guess so. MARTIN: It’s so– What, he can just reach into your head, and put something in there? BASIRA: [SIGH] I don’t know. I guess so. MARTIN: I mean… does it even have to be a truth, do we, do we know for sure he’s not lying, like, like magically lying? BASIRA: I don’t. know. MARTIN: R–right, right. Sorry. I just… It’s a lot to take in, you know.

And the fact that Jon was the one who had to admit that ~he didn’t know~ in return…

- The fact that the assistants were trapped in the Archives had popped up as soon as season 1 (although… back then, we (and they) hadn’t realised how literal it was):

(MAG026) SASHA: I should really quit, you know. We, we all should. I don’t think this a normal job. I, I don’t think this is a safe job. ARCHIVIST: You’re probably right. Do you want to quit? SASHA: No. I’m just… I’m just too damned curious, I suppose. You? ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever’s going on, I need to know. Get some rest. [CLICK]

(MAG065) ARCHIVIST: Then quit! If you hate it so much, leave your post in the Archives. Permanently. TIM: You’re firing me? ARCHIVIST: … I’m offering you a chance to quit. No notice period, I’ll even make sure you get the rest of the month’s paycheck. [PAUSE] Just say the words. [STATIC RISES] TIM: I want to. ARCHIVIST: So do it. TIM: I… … can’t. ARCHIVIST: [SOFTLY] Why not…? TIM: I… I… I–I can’t! I don’t know… Why can’t I quit?! ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t know. But I don’t think I can fire you either. TIM: What? ARCHIVIST: It’s this place.

(MAG079) TIM: There is something in this place, and it’s messing up our heads. It watches us all the time. It stops me quitting. I’m pretty sure it would stop Elias firing Jon even if he decided to actually try running this place for once. MARTIN: You’re sure you don’t just want to stay? TIM: I’m. sure. MARTIN: But, like, deep down– TIM: No. MARTIN: … Oh.

(MAG092) ELIAS: Ah, of course. Er, sometimes I forget how new you all are to this. Basira is now tied to the Institute. All of you are. Like fingers on a hand. And I am the beating heart of it. Should I, or the Institute, be destroyed, you will all, unfortunately, follow suit. MELANIE: Wait, what? TIM: Yup, that sounds about right. ELIAS: And it would not be a pleasant death.

(MAG095) MARTIN: Kinda thought your job was to be a hostage. […] Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, trying to escape? BASIRA: Sure. How’s that gone for you? MARTIN: What? BASIRA: The way Tim tells it, we’re all in the same boat here. So, how’s your escape plan coming? [NOISES OF CONFUSED EXASPERATION] MARTIN: How… Doesn’t it bother you?!

(MAG102) ELIAS: Even more than the others [Melanie] has a visceral hatred of being trapped. Regardless of how much freedom I afford her. […] MELANIE: [Frustrated anger] It’s not just being stuck here, Jon. It’s not just me. He’s manipulating you, he’s manipulating all of us. Can you seriously not see that?

(MAG106) ELIAS: Whatever I’m planning needs to be stopped! Even if it costs a few lives. Including your own. MELANIE: Well, that’s not even– ELIAS: A rationalisation, of course. A lie, about your own selfishness, that you would rather be dead than trapped without the self-determination you prize so highly. I wish I knew the words to convince you it’s for the best.

(MAG131) MELANIE: I don’t know! I can’t… look at her without my leg hurting, but what else am I going to do. I don’t want to be on my own, and I’m stuck here. So… ARCHIVIST: Basira said you were doing better. MELANIE: Would you just– stop?! ARCHIVIST: No– Right, no– MELANIE: This isn’t better! ARCHIVIST: M–Melanie, I, I– MELANIE: I’m not dying and I don’t… want to kill you, it’s, it’s…! [SHARP EXHALE] It’s just different. Yes, it’s… sort of better, m–maybe, but I–I can’t…

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: It, uh… Hm. Is, uh… Weird question, but… I… [EXHALE] I haven’t seen you in my dreams? The last couple of weeks? DAISY: … Oh, uh, no. I… I work here, now. I figured it seems to protect the others, so… ARCHIVIST: Oh. Right, so… Wait, did you talk to Lukas, or…? DAISY: [CHUCKLE] Broke into Elias’s old office. Found an employment contract; filled it in, and signed it. ARCHIVIST: And that worked. DAISY: Seems so. ARCHIVIST: And you’re not… worried about… DAISY: Basira’s trapped here. So are you. Not like I can be going anywhere anyway. ARCHIVIST: … I suppose not. So… no more dreams. DAISY: Not of you and your weird eyes. Just the coffin. ARCHIVIST: Is that better…? DAISY: ’T’s mine. ARCHIVIST: … right.

(MAG150) MELANIE: Look. [INHALE] I’m not going to do my job anymore. ARCHIVIST: … I am not sure I follow, you–you know we… we can’t… quit, we’ve all tried. MELANIE: I didn’t say I was going to quit. I said: I’m not going to do my job. No researching; no filing; no… field trips. Nothing that is going to help the Institute in any way. I’ll still be around, I just… ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] MELANIE: I can’t be a part of this anymore. If, if I get sick, I get sick. And, and if I die…

Learning that Eric had found a way out, that there is a way out is… especially interesting in the light of the running thematic of “choices” that season 4 is exploring. Because, until now, being trapped at the Institute was just something that had been inflicted on the Archival staff, without them being able to do much about it apart from going for Melanie’s option (slowly dying). But now, if there is a way out, it means that staying at the Institute becomes a choice, too. The staff can decide that the cost to pay in order to leave is not worth it, but still: there is now another option, and staying is not an inescapable curse anymore. It’s up to them to decide and to define what their priorities are.

- I’ve purposefully left out Martin out of the Assistants Being Trapped wall of quotes because actually… There has only been one occurrence of Martin describing it:

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: … Why are you here Martin? MARTIN: Well, well, Prentiss is out there and you can’t run so– ARCHIVIST: I mean at the Archive in general. Why haven’t you quit? MARTIN: Are you giving me my review now? ARCHIVIST: No… We’re clearly doing a whole heart-to-heart thing and, truth be told, the question’s been bothering me. You’ve been living in the Archives for four months, constant threat of… this. Sleeping with a fire extinguisher and a corkscrew. Even you must be aware that that’s not normal for an archiving job? Why are you still here? MARTIN: [CONSIDERING] Don’t really know. I just am. It didn’t feel right to just leave. I’ve typed up a few resignation letters, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hand them in. I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t… move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck. […] No, no… it’s just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too. We all are, I think. [SIGH]

… And even back then, that was it. More than being trapped in a place, Martin was seeing it as sticking to Jon.

And it absolutely stopped being a concern afterwards. When Martin had his litany of recriminations about everything that had happened in the Institute and about what Elias had done to them… being tied to the Institute hadn’t been one of them:

(MAG117) MARTIN: Me and Melanie, well… Well, I don’t think “death” is really the worry, it’s just… [SIGH] It feels like an ending? Or… something. Like nothing can go back to normal after this. Hey, hey, I mean what’s normal, right? Is living in an old document storage normal? Is losing a friend and not even noticing normal? Corridors? Evil all-seeing managers? I suppose you can get used to anything, but… [PAUSE] It feels different. […] These last couple of years, I’ve always been... running, always hiding, caught in someone else’s trap, but… but now it’s my trap. And, well. I think it will work. I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but… it felt good, weaving my own little web.

(MAG118) MARTIN: What? You don’t want him… hearing your big evil speech? ELIAS: Just wanted to spare you the small amount of dignity you have left. MARTIN: [DRY LAUGHTER] Dignity? Alright, yeah; like the dignity of being trapped in your flat by worms, or sleeping in the Archives, clutching a corkscrew! Or– or fetching drinks for the thing that murdered your friend without you even noticing…! Laughing at all their little jokes, then being left to wander impossible corridors for weeks! ELIAS: [SIGH] Are you done. MARTIN: Not even close. Because... [HEAVY BREATHING] I… I’ve been thinking. It’s not like you’ve got this all-seeing thing recently. You’ve had it the whole time. I remember the way you looked at Sasha after the attack. You knew it wasn’t her. And I reckon you knew Prentiss was lurking under the Institute, too, and you did nothing. Why? [SILENCE] WHY?! [SLAMS TABLE]

I’m not sure that Martin ever truly perceived it as a burden, quite frankly. He didn’t have a lot in his life – his mother, the Institute, his poetry, as far as we knew. Maybe for Martin, there used to be some comfort in the idea of being trapped and stuck; because that meant people around him… wouldn’t ever be able to leave, either?

(The only recent case of Martin pointing out the trapping as negative was when he screamed at Daisy:

(MAG144) DAISY: Fine. … Fine. Just thought you– MARTIN: No! No, you didn’t! [DOOR OPENS.] We’re not… we’re not friends, Daisy! None of us are! We’re all just trapped together, here, and–and kidding ourselves that we don’t hate it! Christ, there are more important things than, than “feelings”– DAISY: [INCREDULOUS EXHALE] MARTIN: –right now, alright, so just… leave me alone! For good!

And there might have been some sincerity in these words (although Martin confirmed right afterwards that he was mostly just aiming to make her leave). But if he were asked quietly whether or not he wants to leave, I’m not sure Martin would: what does he have, outside of the Institute? What kind of life could he lead? He’s been there for most (if not all) of his adult life at this point, nine years at the very least; and while I firmly believe that Melanie would be able to go forwards and to recreate her own life, or that Daisy&Basira might be able to as a duo, when it comes to Martin… I’m not sure he would even want to try. I’m not sure that he laughed at Jon’s face because it was “too late” for him to leave although, yes, he did confirm to Basira that he wasn’t expecting to make it out alive or as himself; I think it might just have sounded incongruous and so… surreal? So impossible to imagine? And I don’t think that The Lonely is the only thing to blame for this.)

- Given how Eric suspected that Gertrude wouldn’t have shared the eye-gouging trick with him if she had known before he did (and, indeed, as far as we know, she… didn’t inform Michael Shelley about a possibility of quitting – but I’m not sure he was even aware of being trapped in the first place…), and that Jon already jumped on Martin to tell him:

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: I know; I know what you said, but I just… I think I’ve found a way for us to leave the Institute. [SILENCE] MARTIN: … Okay…? ARCHIVIST: Yeah. But i–it’s… [INHALE] it’s pretty… drastic. MARTIN: What, [CHUCKLING] you gotta gouge your eyes out or something? [SILENCE] … Fuck off?! [SILENCE] … Right…! Uh–uh… ARCHIVST: [EXHALE] MARTIN: Uh, r–right, uh… Wow…! [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] Uh, okay… […] Y–y–yeah… yeah, uh… Ha–have you told the others, or…? ARCHIVIST: No, you–you’re the first. […] MARTIN: Who are you kidding, Jon? You’re not gonna do any of that. ARCHIVIST: I, I could…! MARTIN: But you won’t…! That why you came to me, isn’t it? ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE] MARTIN: You know I can’t do it, not now; you don’t want to blind yourself; you don’t want to die; what you want… is a reason to not do those things. So… you come to me. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] MARTIN: Well… you’re welcome! B–because I can’t follow you on this one.

I think Jon is very likely to share it with the others, despite (/because of) Martin’s last words? So, are we heading towards (at least) one member of current Team Archives choosing to lose their eyesight in order to leave the Institute…?

If so, who? Martin sounded like Gertrude in that aspect: he has a goal and is sticking to it, and is not ready to consider it an option.

He also had a point re:Jon on the idea that… maybe Beholding is the only thing currently powering Jon to live right now, because he should have died during The Unknowing and ultimately made a choice when faced with dying or “becom[ing] something else”. We’ve also seen Jon display instant-healing abilities (MAG131, when he tried to cut his finger), and he also mentioned that the wound from Melanie’s scalpel had healed quickly so… it doesn’t seem like he could permanently harm himself, nor that someone else’s injury would last. However, Dekker had mentioned that Hunters were able to take down avatars (MAG113), and Daisy had managed to quickly kill off Mike Crew, so it’s possible that Hunters would be able to inflict permanent damage and, oh, good timing, Trevor&Julia managed to crawl back to England, sneaked into the Institute once, and might still be looming around.

When it comes to the conscious choice of blinding oneself to escape The Eye… I doubt that Daisy would go there, since she signed up for the Institute on her own (without being coerced or misled into it, knowing full-well that it meant she would be trapped), both to reclaim a bit of control (getting rid of Jon in her dreams) and because Basira and Jon were already trapped. Daisy wouldn’t want to leave without the others, she displayed some protective tendencies around Jon although she is already deeply weakened in her current state, she didn’t sound morally upset at the thought of being tied to The Eye when she discussed with Martin in MAG144, so… I really don’t see her going for Eric’s solution. She might see it as making herself vulnerable without getting much in exchange?

Basira… I’m not sure. I think that even more than Daisy, she would see it as making herself vulnerable – Elias took a dig about that one time she “let her guard down” (Jared’s attack?) in MAG127 and it feels to me like this is really her problem right now – desperate and scrambling for control, craving it so much that she both tends to sideline her feelings and attachments because she perceives them as a weakness, and to make herself susceptible to manipulation. She was quietly resigned to being trapped, too, signed up to protect Daisy without showing much anger towards the action, so I’m not sure she would think that blinding herself would be worth it? And there is the additional fact that she might or might not be on a Very Beholding Path herself (although recently, it sounds more Hunt-y to me?).

And finally… Melanie feels to me like the person who would probably be the most interested in Eric’s option. She already emotionally cut ties with Beholding by deciding that dying was better than surviving at the cost of feeding it. She has already worked on trying to get better. We heard about her going outside of the Institute, we know that Georgie is helping her. She has a support system outside (although small), and strong distaste of The Eye. So…

;; There is the additional fact that, hum. Eric didn’t survive long after quitting because he was murdered. But what if The Beholding’s grasp was supposed to come back after some time…? We also had Beholding places containing, uh, eyeless people, and we’re still unsure of who they were and what had happened to their eyes (older Archivists in older Archives?):

(MAG023, Albrecht von Closen) “I approached the man, but he didn’t move to flee. As I got closer, I saw him in more detail. He was short and squat, wearing an old-fashioned, black frock coat and knee breeches, though his head was shadowed by a wide-brimmed black hat. By his costume, I assumed him to be an old man, perhaps a groundskeeper for this place, or simply a recluse that lived nearby. When I greeted him, though, the voice that answered held no quiver of age within it. […] I felt the presence behind me, and I turned around. It was the man from the cemetery. His wide brimmed hat was removed and he stared at me. His head was completely bald, and his eyes were missing. They were just empty sockets but they stared at me. The saw me. Believe or dismiss anything else in my letter as you wish Jonah, but I swear to you that I stood face to face with a man with no eyes and he saw me.”

(MAG053) WALTER: It was a body. […] His eyes were gone. But rather than simply decaying into nothingness, there were ragged scratches around the edge of the socket, leaving messy, hollow pits. I was feeling very afraid now and had just turned around to leave when my torch abruptly turned off. It was the strangest thing. It should have been pitch-dark. There was no light at all filtering through into those underground caverns, but instead, I could so everything! Every detail of the shrivelled corpse before me was as clear as day, though there was no light to see it.  I can’t explain it, even really describe how it felt, but it was absolute darkness, and I could still see. At the same time, I suddenly got the most intense feeling of being watched – like a thousand eyes turned to me at once. […] The sense of being watched was getting stronger, an almost physical wave that seemed to drag me down. I reached the mouth of the tunnel just as a figure came into view. It wore what looked like the remains of an ancient robe, and in the darkness, I could see long, spindly fingers stretching, probing toward me. From beneath its huge, flowing hood, I could see nothing except for a single, lidless eye.

… But especially in the Schwartzwald man’s case: having no eyes didn’t stop him clearly belonging to Beholding, so… There is no proof that it would indeed work.

- Of course, gooooooooods… The echo between Gertrude’s era and Jon… three assistants “meeting an unpleasant end”; Tim and Sasha are already gone, there is only Martin left of the original team. Of course Martin would have, even unconsciously, been a prime concern after a recording of Gertrude and one of her (dead) assistants… EXCEPT NO, AHAHAHA, Jon’s worry/concern/feelings truly felt like something else than guilt and responsibility.

I’ve seen how RQ operates, I know that they know their tropes, I know that they wouldn’t Tease to get listeners and shame them for hoping for some more queerness afterwards, I know that they’re careful about this; I knoooow rationally that there probably wouldn’t be this much focus on Jon’s anxiety towards Martin’s current situation if the bottom line was Oh, Jon Is Mostly Feeling Guilty About Tim&Sasha And Worried That Martin Might Die Because Of Him Too (especially when it’s been acknowledged multiple times that Martin has romantic feelings for him).

But. Still. Up until now, it could perfectly be read that way in Jon’s worry and longing.

(MAG122) ARCHIVIST: Just you and me. … And, Melanie and M–Martin, I, I guess. Honestly, I’m surprised Martin isn’t… BASIRA: [SHARP INHALE] ARCHIVIST: What? Oh god, the, their plan, it’s, Martin is– Is he okay, or– … What did Elias do?

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] I wish I could talk it through with Martin. … Or Tim. [SHORT SAD CHUCKLE] Or Sasha. But we never really did that, did we…? … Everything’s changed. … [SIGH] Two days out of a coma, and I’m already tired.

(MAG124) ARCHIVIST: H–how are you, Martin? I–is everything… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, no, I’m, I’m alright, er… Everything’s… fine. ARCHIVIST: … Right. Hum. … H–how’s… h–how’s the poetry? MARTIN: Oh, er, well, I haven’t exactly had a lot of time recently, so… ARCHIVIST: Yes, of course… MARTIN: Mm. ARCHIVIST: You’ve been busy. MARTIN: Yeah. ARCHIVIST: … MARTIN: … Look, Jon, I, I’ve really got to go, so… ARCHIVIST: Oh, er, okay… MARTIN: I’m, I’m sorry that you– ARCHIVIST: Wowowow, it was… good t–, it was good to see you. MARTIN: … Yeah. [STEPS LEAVING] ARCHIVIST: … Yeah… 

(MAG136) DAISY: You need to stop moping. ARCHIVIST: I what? DAISY: You need to stop swanning around, being all sad. ARCHIVIST: I’m, I’m not “swanning around”– DAISY: “Boo-hoo, I’m so alone and a monster!” ARCHIVIST: I am alone, Martin is– DAISY: Busy. doing. paperwork. Not like he’s dead. Beside, he’s not the only other person here, you know. There’s me; Melanie; Basira– ARCHIVIST: Traumatised; traumatised; and paranoid, because of me.

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: And that just leaves Martin, which… […] … [SIGH] I’m just worried about Martin. … Christ… Every other Avatar gets to have their feelings… burned right out of them, but me? I’ve… just got to sit in mine. … I know he said he had everything under control. I need… to trust him; whatever he’s doing with Peter, he’s… he knows what he’s doing. Probably. I just– … [VERY FAST] I need him to be okay. I just do.

(MAG148) ARCHIVIST: I’ve been meaning to ask. The… tape. The one of the, uh… my victim. You said Martin gave it to you. BASIRA: [EXHALE] Yeah. ARCHIVIST: How was he? H–how did he look, was he, uh… BASIRA: I don’t know. I didn’t… see him. He just left it on my desk with a note. ARCHIVIST: Oh… Right.

(MAG150) ARCHIVIST: We are trying. Daisy, Basira and I, we don’t leave the Institute much anymore – so we do spend a lot of time together. It’s not that easy, though. When everyone has so many walls, so many defences… [SIGH] sometimes you can feel lonely even when you’re in the same room. … But it’s better than the alternative. And at least none of us is suffering alone. … Martin’s got it the worst, of course. But it still seems to be his choice. And I have to trust that he knows what he’s doing.

In this episode? Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnot so much, and Oh No, Jon Is Indeed Having A Crush, Uh.

I think what felt the most “… Jon…” about it is that… Jon didn’t present the eye-gouging as a way for Martin to be free and get out. There was Jon’s insistence that they could do it “together” – it wasn’t so much about saving Martin as ensuring that Martin wouldn’t die and that they could be reunited.

(And it came right after a statement of… Eric and his one-sided crush on Mary, who was mostly using him to achieve her own goals (getting a Beholding kid from the Archives?), so. Aouch. The echo of the statement wasn’t kind to your situation, Jon.)

It’s possible that indeed, Jon was partially motivated to go to Martin because he (unconsciously) wanted to be told to not do it, but… I think that, more straightforwardly, it was because Jon had just found a way to get Martin back. Jon has never been that good at weaponizing his own emotions to manipulate other people, except when faking his accent and hiding his feelings. So either Martin has understood that Jon was indeed jumping on him because he was genuine about wanting to elope with him (and it’s too late; it’s not the time, and Martin himself seems to have given up on the idea of surviving his “ritual”), either Martin has closed up with The Lonely, and the idea of someone caring for him? Is just unfathomable at this point, and there must be hiding an uglier truth or selfish motivations.

(And oh, how selfish Jon’s plan was!! Gosh?? I still can’t believe he literally begged Martin to just give up on the spooks, on saving the world, just to elope together for a while?? Jon???)

(Not even a thought about his victims, about the fact that hey, maybe if he was cut from The Eye, they would be released from his nightmares?)

(MAG154) MARTIN: [DRY AND HOLLOW LAUGHTER] ARCHIVIST: [BREATHY] … What…? MARTIN: [CHUCKLING] N–nothing, it’s just… That’s just ironic, that’s all. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Martin, I… MARTIN: Who are you kidding, Jon? You’re not gonna do any of that. ARCHIVIST: I, I could…! MARTIN: But you won’t…! That why you came to me, isn’t it? ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE] MARTIN: You know I can’t do it, not now; you don’t want to blind yourself; you don’t want to die; what you want… is a reason to not do those things. So… you come to me. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] MARTIN: Well… you’re welcome! B–because I can’t follow you on this one. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … The Lonely’s really got you, hasn’t it? MARTIN: You know, I think it always did. ARCHIVIST: [SOFT HUFF] [QUIET] Maybe. [SILENCE] Well… I–I’ll be here. If you ever do need me. MARTIN: … I hope so. ARCHIVIST: Just don’t wait too long, okay? [RUFFLING OF CLOTHES] [FAINTER, IN THE DISTANCE] If you haven’t already. [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] MARTIN: Yeah. [LONG EXHALE] … Yeah… [CLICK.]

A few things:

* AOUCH at that “I’ll be here” / “I hope so.” Not going out terrorising people, uh.

* I’m a bit lost re:Martin’s criticism, because he had been fairly upset about Jon’s self-sacrificing tendencies, or the fact he was throwing himself into danger, when discussing with Daisy in MAG144… while here, he called Jon out (in a very cruel, falsely indulgent tone) on not wanting to end his life. Given Jon’s pedigree, it almost sounded like a taunt to get Jon to try to gouge out his eyes, but, mostly: I’m surprised that Martin would perceive Jon’s actions this way, when he had listened to Daisy’s input and had called her “observant” (so, validating her reading of Jon)… ? It’s very likely that these words were absolutely valid when it came to Jon, I’m simply surprised that Martin would suddenly read him like this. Martin is in a bad place, he doesn’t need to make sense but… still…? Unless it was mostly his bitterness about being perceived as an enabler coming out…?

Unless he told Jon what he needed Jon to think – that he didn’t want to sacrifice his life…? (Because if so? That would be extremely web-y, Martin.)

* … Martin, Jon is currently demonstrating that not wanting to do something doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it anyway (=> “I don’t want to stop”, and he’s stopping anyway).

* Jon’s coma is still a sore spot, uh.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: … What happened, Martin? [SILENCE] MARTIN: You died. ARCHIVIST: I came back. MARTIN: Yeah. [OPENS DOOR] I’m not gonna let it happen again. ARCHIVIST: … wait… Wait! W– [DOOR CLOSES] [SIGH] [CLICK.]

(MAG154) MARTIN: Jon… [SIGH] Don’t do this. ARCHIVIST: Do what? MARTIN: Make it my decision. ARCHIVIST: I’m not– MARTIN: No, I mean… [DRY CHUCKLING] Could–could you even survive at this stage? Is there anything else keeping you alive? ARCHIVIST: Uh, I–I don’t know. I don’t… “Know”. But… [EXHALE] Maybe it’s worth it? The risk, y–you and me, together, getting out of here…

Indeeeeeeeeeeeeed, if Jon were to die due to his eye-gouging because Martin had agreed and encouraged him to follow through that plan… Martin would feel responsible about it forever, uh.

* I feel like Martin tends to react badly to… Jon’s choice of words/feelings.

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: I just… I’m sorry. Basira is off doing… God-knows-what, and I can’t talk to Melanie. MARTIN: Mm-mm. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] I suppo– … I miss you. MARTIN: [SNERK] ARCHIVIST: I’m just… MARTIN: Lonely. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Yeah. MARTIN: [HUFF]

(MAG154) MARTIN: Why? ARCHIVIST: … Because… uh, because I–I trust you, I– I’m trying to think about what to do, and I… Well… if I did try this, I… I don’t want to do it alone. MARTIN: [EXHALE] ARCHIVIST: But we could leave here. You and me; escape. MARTIN: Jon… [SIGH] Don’t do this.

“Miss you” and the feeling of loneliness, “alone”… is Martin thinking that it’s just The Lonely causing Jon’s longing…?

* Season 4 has been a long fall into The Lonely for Martin, and it just. Doesn’t feel good. Like Jon, he’s not… enjoying himself in the avatardom? He’s stopped living – doesn’t have much contact with anyone, hasn’t been mentioned around tea, isn’t writing poetry anymore… And there is no glee nor joviality in what he’s doing? It just feels sad all over.

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: So: we’re under siege; Melanie is aggressively unstable; Martin is working very closely with The Lonely, who is, predictably enough, isolating him; and, oh, yes, Tim and Daisy are still dead. Which is at least easy to keep track of!

(MAG134) MARTIN: And you thought that since I’m so lonely already, I’d be ideal. PETER: Yes!

(MAG138) MARTIN: I think he wants me to join The Lonely. ELIAS: Then it sounds like you have a decision to make. […] Don’t forget to keep in touch, Martin. There are so many people in here, but without one’s friends… [DOOR LOCKING] it does get rather lonely.

(MAG142) MARTIN: [SIGH] Th–the worst part is I don’t even want to talk to him about it. I’m just… [SIGH] I suppose I’m just getting comfortable with the distance. [SIGH] Cut off. [DRY CHUCKLE] “Lonely”. [INHALE] Mind you, Peter’s not wrong. It really is easier than actually just trying to communicate with people.

(MAG150) ARCHIVIST: Statement ends. The Lonely is… possibly the most insidious of the powers, I believe. Certainly it is the one that… most delights in having you do its work for it. Even the Spiders seem to have a hard time matching it for sheer seductiveness. [HUFF] “Time to yourself”, “self-care”, “putting yourself forward”… “not being a burden on those you care about”… [PAUSE] It doesn’t even need to tell you any lies; just waits for the lies you tell yourself.

(MAG151) MARTIN: [POINTEDLY] I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever. SIMON: … What a Lonely way to look at things. Which makes sense, I suppose.

(Except when it comes to tape recorders – Martin still likes those:

(MAG126) [CLICK–] [CLOCK IN THE BACKGROUND] [TYPING SOUNDS] MARTIN: [SIGH] [COMPUTER MOUSE CLICKING] Oh. Hello. [ONE CLICK] Haven’t seen you in a while. [TYPING RESUMES] … Really? I mean, it’s just admin. It’s not exactly thrilling listening. … Alright, fine. Whatever. You do you. [TWO CLICKS] Spool away, I guess. [ONE CLICK] Just, you know, let me know if you need some more batteries or something. [TYPING] … It’s because he’s back, isn’t it. [ONE CLICK] [SIGH] He’s back, so now you’re going to be… around, again. Listening in. [ONE CLICK] Mff. [TWO CLICKS] You missed him, didn’t you. [HUFF] … Yeah. … [VERY SHARP SQUEAL OF DISTORTION] Yeah, me too.

(MAG154) [CLICK–] [CLOCK TICKING IN THE BACKGROUND] [TYPING SOUNDS] [COMPUTER MOUSE CLICKING] MARTIN: Oh. Right. [CHUCKLE] Hello, again. [TWO CLICKS, TYPING RESUMES] Look, sorry pal, [SHORT LAUGH] false alarm this time…! [ONE CLICK] Oh, unless… [SIGH] [TWO AGGRESSIVE CLICKS] [TO THE ROOM] Peter! [SILENCE] [INHALE] Look, Peter, I– [DOOR OPENS] ARCHIVIST: Martin! MARTIN: Oh, Jon! [DOOR CLOSES] God, don’t do that!

Does Martin still like… spiders…?)

And gods, again and again, there is still what Peter had told Martin coming back to Haunt Us:

(MAG126) MARTIN: … When all this is over, I’m telling him everything, with or without your permission. PETER: Martin… when it’s over, you won’t want to. MARTIN: … Mm. PETER: But he will be safe. They all will. MARTIN: … Yeah.

Peter sounds Right, right now, on the first part; on the second… define “safe”, Peter. (Define “safe”, Martin: is it to be secluded and trapped inside of the Institute forever?)

- Hashtag worried too because with Eric&Gertrude’s conversation… We have the pattern of an archivist discussing with someone who had been bound to the book by someone else and agreeing to burn the page (… if Gertrude indeed burned the page. We didn’t hear her burning that page.), before binding someone else to the book some time later (Gertrude, Eric bound by Mary, Gerry). Jon: discussed with someone who had been bound to the book by someone else (Gerry by Gertrude), before destroying Gerry’s page. Julia&Trevor are back in town, must have come with the book, so it’s there……… I’m. A bit worried. That Jon would end up binding someone (Martin?!) because he doesn’t want to lose them forever…?

Title for MAG155 is… uh. Could be about the Current Economy again (I thought about Ivy Meadows and Melanie too) but I’m a bit at a loss Fears-wise. Spontaneously, I thought about The End but it’s technically… the other way round with that one (if we’re following the gist of MAG029: “‘You said that if I won, then I’d live!’ The monk shook his head. ‘No, I didn’t.’”), and we’re just getting out of a Beholding+End statement with Eric. Extinction, then, with either Martin reading another one or Jon trying to get his hands on new statements because he wants to help from the sidelines? I have a bit of trouble thinking that we could hear Martin two episodes in a row before the finale, it’s been… so long… ;; Other options: something about Jonah Magnus (since Smirke revealed in MAG138 that he feared his own death the most) or, overall, about avatars…? Or a Lonely one again? (I tend to associate Lukases with the mythological figure of Pluto because “rich”.)

Second meaning is “WELP”, I guess Jon is/has been spilling the beans to the others about their new eye-gouging option…?

[eldritchsurveys]

667.

1. If you found a baby turtle on the side of the road, would you pick it up and keep it? >> If I found a baby of any species on the side of the road, I’m not going to pick it up and keep it, I’m going to call the appropriate authorities and let them handle it. The fuck am I doing with a baby anything? 2. Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? >> --- 3. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? >> --- 4. Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? >> It was all right. At least the Sun was out a bit, and I managed to go out for once. Mostly I’m glad to be back in my bed now, lol. 5. Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend? >> No.

6. How about you, do you have a bf/gf? >> Hm. 7. Could you date someone very attractive, but who thought they were better than everyone else? >> I don’t date, period, but I also wouldn’t hang out with someone who had a superiority complex. 8. So do you have a best friend? >> No. 9. What would you do if your best friend kissed the last person you kissed? >> --- 10. Do you dislike anyone? >> Not really. There are people I don’t really want to be around, of course, but I can’t think of anyone specific that I’m like “fuck that guy in particular” about except for people that have unapologetically hurt me (in which case it’s less “I dislike you” and more “I don’t even want to acknowledge your existence”). 11. Did you message your best friend today? >> --- 12. Do you think you will be in a relationship two months from now? >> I don’t see why not. 13. Do you always feel like you’re making mistakes? >> Yeah, because I have Trauma Brain. But I also know that I don’t make any more mistakes than the average person and most of my mistakes are easily fixed. 14. How do you feel about your hair right now? >> I’m going to need to buzz it again soon. 15. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? >> Maybe someone has a tattoo of my name, because my name doesn’t just belong to me. But no one has a tattoo of my name that is actually about me. 16. Who did you last see shirtless? >> A couple of characters on Carnivale (before one of them got hanged with the word “HARLOT” carved into her forehead, of course. this is Carnivale after all). 17. How would you feel if you got the person you liked? >> --- 18. Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months without cheating? >> *sigh* 19. Do you like to make the first move? >> The first move to what? 20. Do you think you will ever be married? >> I am married. 21. Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? >> Sure. 22. Is it possible to be single and happy? >> Duh? 23. Was the first person you talked to today male or female? >> The first person I spoke to was the bartender at Gardella’s, who is female. 24. Do you remember who you liked on New Year’s? >> --- 25. Are you a morning person or a night person? I’m barely a person. <-- mood 26. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? >> Whether I “can” or not is irrelevant because I don’t fucking want to. 27. Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? >> Sure. 28. Is there anyone who likes you? >> --- 29. If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? >> --- 30. Do you understand football? >> I understand American football. I don’t know anything about soccer football except the obvious bits. 31. What’s the first thing you heard this morning? >> I don’t know. 32. Who last called you beautiful? >> I don’t know. 33. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? >> No. 34. How many kids do you want when you get older? >> --- 35. Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/girlfriend every week? >> Of course not. 36. Ever been called a jerk/bitch? >> Yep. 37. Do you have feelings for anyone? >> Bold of you to assume I have feelings-- 38. If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? >> Falling while pregnant is dangerous, oof-- 39. What’s your full name? >> *eldritch screeching* 40. Are you young or old? >> Depends on your perspective -- to a child I’m old, to a middle-aged person I’m young, etc. 41. What’s the gender? >> Oh, the gender outside is frightful... 42. How’s your heart been lately? >> You know. Beating and such. 43. Why aren’t you in bed? >> I am, though. 44. Did you do laundry today? >> No. 45. What kind of computer do you have? >> I have an MSI Leopard Pro and a Lenovo Ideapad. 46. Are there always other fish in the sea? >> Not if you overfish. 47. What can your tongue do? >> You know. Lick stuff. Form phonemes. Get chemical burns when I eat too many sour candies in a row. 48. What do you think your mum does when she goes out? >> --- 49. Do chickens have feelings? >> I don’t know anything about chicken neurology/psychology. 50. Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? >> No. 51. So how are you feeling today? >> Neutral. 52. Where is your sister right now? >> --- 53. Name five things you did today? >> Took a bus, drank at a bar, briefly logged into ESO, watched an episode of Carnivale, ate mac n’ cheese with bacon. 54. What kind of phone do you have? >> Moto g6. 55. What are you listening to? >> Nothing. 56. What do you smell like? >> A bit like my roll-on oil and a bit like my whipped shea butter. Mostly just like... clean skin or whatever. 57. What colour are your eyes? >> Dark brown. 58. Have you ever done a Chinese fire drill? >> No. 59. Do you know someone named Betsy? >> No. 60. What colour is your mum’s hair? >> --- 61. Do you have a dog? Breed? Name? >> No. 62. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? >> I mean, yeah? 63. Are you married? >> Yes. 64. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? >> --- 65. Do you play an instrument? >> No. 66. Do you like fire? >> Sure, fire is nice. In moderation. 67. Are you allergic to anything? >> No. 68. Have you ever been to a spa? >> I’ve been to a nail spa because Sparrow works at one. I’ve also been to the Aveda spa that she did her training in years ago. 69. Do you miss someone? >> No. 70. Views on premarital sex? >> I have no views on it. I really can’t fathom having an opinion on whomst other people fuck and when. 71. What is a noise that you cannot stand? >> Face sounds. Any of them. Eating, breathing, sniffling, lip-licking, eugh. Stay away. (Sometimes I can hear myself blinking and I want to rip my eyelids off. It’s bad.) 72. Do you know how to do a cartwheel? >> Yeah. 73. What is the most you are willing to spend on a pair of sunglasses? >> Not much. 74. Does your mum vacuum early in the morning while you’re asleep? >> --- 75. Do you shower naked? >> Do I look like Tobias Funke to you? 76. Does wearing glasses really make people look smart? >> That’s not my interpretation. People with glasses just look like people with glasses. 77. Are you ADD or ADHD? >> No. 78. Do your band-aids have cartoons on them? >> I FUCKING WISH. I was so mad when I needed band-aids for my feet and none of the ones in the size I needed came in cartoon print. The only ones with fun designs were little baby band-aids. I think as an adult I should be able to buy whatever the fuck kind of band-aids I want, including ones with Stitch on them. Fuck you. 79. Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn’t have? >> Probably. 80. In one word, how would you define yourself? >> I wouldn’t. 81. Tell me about a dream you had recently? >> I can’t, I can never remember them anymore. I get vague wispy impressions upon waking, and then even those disappear after a few minutes. I feel disconnected from dream!Mordred and I’m so curious at what it’s been up to. 82. Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? >> --- 83. How did you feel when you woke up? >> Fine, I guess. 84. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? >> I don’t know, probably something related to Sparrow knocking around as she got ready for work, because that’s my first sensory memory upon awakening. 85. Name something great that happened on Friday? >> It’s Thursday, ask me on Saturday. 86. When was the last time you saw your father? >> --- 87. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now? >> No. 88. Have you ever been kissed by a person whose name starts with J? >> Yeah. 89. Do you crack your knuckles? >> Yeah. 90. What were you doing twenty minutes ago? >> Probably still this survey, since it’s so long. 91. You’re thinking about someone, aren’t you? >> No. 92. Have you held hands with anyone in the past twenty-four hours? >> No. 93. What would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex? >> Nothing? That doesn’t affect me. 94. What if your partner went through your cellphone? >> I wouldn’t be with someone that went through my belongings without my express permission. 95. What if your partner was flirting with another girl/boy? >> I’d be glad for her. I hope she gets whatever she’s looking for from that interaction. 96. Ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with? >> --- 97. You want someone/something? >> Not really. 98. Is there really a difference between Coke and Pepsi? >> Yeah, which is why many people have a preference. 99. Is there any emotion you’re trying to avoid right now? >> No. 100. Are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed? >> I’m pretty sure the entire situation in itself was a mistake, and it was changed, by us ending up having no contact with each other. 101. Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? >> I mean, sure. 102. Background on your computer? >> Right now it’s a wallpaper with a scene from the movie Interstellar. (My desktop wallpaper is on a shuffle timer.) 103. Have you cried recently? >> Like, within the last week, probably. 104. Who has hurt you the most? >> I don’t know. 105. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? >> Sure. 106. What language do you want to learn? >> --- 107. Your ex’s car breaks down and they ask you for a lift. Your response? >> I mean, I don’t drive, dude. Also, we live in wildly different parts of the country. This is just so many layers of implausible. 108. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? >> ---

[voicesofreylo]

And so I fell into the rabbit hole...

I live in Germany, and I am half German half Italian. My German side usually tries to be pragmatic, but my Italian blood loves melodrama and romance too much. “You’re not alone”, “Neither are you” is the most beautiful declaration of love I have ever heard.

I guess I ought to be too old for this at 47... But last year, when my husband dragged me kicking and screaming to watch "The Last Jedi" at the cinema I was only 46, so perhaps, ahem... ;-)

I have always liked the Star Wars saga very much. I saw the first movie at the cinema and all I remember was that it excited me too much for me to understand it. I saw the whole trilogy at 18 and its message had a huge impact on my mentality, in particular the idea of the Force. Then I was rather disappointed by the prequel trilogy, though I didn't hate it as some people do; I knew it couldn’t be a nice story, but I still would have expected something more.

I was positively surprised by "The Force Awakens" when I saw it, but it didn't leave any lasting effect, to be honest. I disliked Kylo Ren very much, although when he took off his mask I was surprised by his inoffensive, almost innocent features and wondered how that was supposed to be the villain. I think I cried for a week over breakfast about Han Solo's death. Only when the chasm opened between Kylo and Rey at the end of their duel it had such a symbolic quality to it that I briefly wondered, "Does that mean the abyss between them will be filled later?" But that was it, more or less. And I never wondered about Rey’s parentage, her name means “zero” so I had figured out from the start that she was a nobody.

Now "The Last Jedi"... I won't deny it, it hit me hard. I was confused and overwhelmed, but it had got under my skin. I liked how both Rey and Kylo interacted, the Finn and Rose dynamics, Poe's development, and the Canto Bight children. The intensity of Adam Driver's and Carrie Fisher's performance left me stunned; and now that he was less enigmatic, I began to identify with Kylo's / Ben's character and to wish desperately for him to redeem himself. I understood that his father had sacrificed his life to save his son's soul, which made me admire Han more than ever. I also found that Leia had never been wiser and more dignified than in the sequels, and Luke never more heroic.

In the past I had never broken my head very much over the saga, and my love for it had cooled over the prequels… but after Episode VIII I spent weeks making researches on the internet and investigating the whole thing.

I was absolutely stunned. I find the saga brilliant in its whole now and I love it much more than ever. I have been in absolute Star Wars fever for the last year, analysing it over and over, appreciating the prequels at last, and I can hardly wait for Episode IX to come to the theatres.

I love the dynamics between Kylo (Ben) and Rey, I find the screenplays of the sequels almost flawless (there is hardly a sentence that doesn't have double meaning or isn't linked to another scene), I adore the idea that after the victory of Light Side in the classic movies and of the Dark Side in the prequels now both sides are finding together, finally bringing the Force into balance. It never occurred to me before how much the saga has to do with Love and War instead of being about Good and Evil, and how much it's about family.

I have written and posted a few meta's here, and I have a few ideas for fanfictions, but they are not complete yet.

So, since it's no fun to be fangirling on one's own and I can't go on pestering my poor husband (although he's a fan, too) about how much I hope and wish for Ben and Rey to be happy in the end, I figured I'd have to find some nice, patient Reylo community to sigh along with me.

Hoping to make a few friends here... See and hear you 😉

[likesrandomstuff]

Bored so stole this from my timeline

my shows (I will probably have changed the order by the time this posts) :

Agents of Shield

Legends of Tomorrow

Supergirl

Arrow

The Flash

questions:

1. Who is your favorite character in 2?

— Sara Lance, though I love pretty much everyone who has been on this show

2. Who is your least favorite character in 1?

— Grant Ward, almost forgot about him as I hate him so much.

3. What is your favorite episode of 4?

— The 100th episode, Invasion! I have watched it so many times. Everyone is happy, Laurel and Sara interacting, crossover so we get Kara and Barry too.

4. What is your favorite season of 5?

— Probably 2. I liked the Earth-2 stuff a lot. 

5. Who is your favorite couple in 3?

— Does Supercorp count? Canon-wise, Nia and Brainy. Don’t know what I would have done a year ago.

6. Who is your favorite couple in 2?

— Avalance, Sara/ Ava. I love them and miss them.

7. What is your favorite episode in 1?

— EIther TRACKS from Season 1, really cool, get to relive the day from every character’s view, or What they Become, where Syke/ Daisy got her powers and I cried about Trip

8. What is your favorite episode of 5?

— Duet. The Mon-hell stuff was bad, but the Glee part of me loved it. It also aired in Australia on my 21st birthday, and I watched it at like 3am the next day after I finished an assignment, so I’m sentimental. 

9. what is your favorite season of 2?

— 2-4 are solid, and I like 1 more than most, but 3 if I had to choose. I’m more into the history than the demon stuff.

10. How long have you watched 1?

— Whenever it aired in Australia, but that was still 2013. Dropped off after ep 3 as it was on the same time as a family staple, but have been religiously following since I saw Winter Soldier, so ep 16 of season 1.  

11. How did you become interested in 3?

— Superman was my childhood favourite hero, and I knew Melissa from Glee. 

12. Who is your favorite actor in 4?

— Katie Cassidy-Rodgers. I am very protective of Laurel, and she has played both versions so differently, and amazingly. 

13. Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

— Shield has been with me for so long, I have to pick it, though I’m more likely to pop on Legends to watch, see this arvo. 

14. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?

— Shield has about 40 episodes on Supergirl, so Shield, since I’ve seen every ep of all these shows. 

15. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

— Everyone has suffered so much and/ died. Felicity, at least I’ll be smart, rich, and mostly safe from bodily harm. 

16. Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

— See the episodes that they already have, but if it was just Legends and Supergirl, that would be the best. I just want Lena to meet people who won’t judge her for her last name. 

17. Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple:

— Skimmons is still a OTP. The team lives together, so not much is unlikely that I would ship. 

18. Overall, which story has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

— I care more about the Supergirl characters, so the emotional stuff resonates more. 

19. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

— I only recently realised that most scenes in tv shows/ movies have music in the background, so not really the best person to ask. Probably Legends, cause I think if I heard it, I could pick it out. 

[pkmnjesus]

P J a shipper? SHIP-A-THON ‘18

𝓢𝓱𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰

It is probably one the biggest aspects in EVERY (I repeat EVERY) fandom out there. Whether you ship the main guy with the main girl, main guy with his rival, his rival with the background character, the heroes mom with that evil villain or even (I do NOT support this, but it exists) incest shipping. THE LIST GOES ON!

Now I’ve been pretty low-key on my shipping views, but I’ve been saying it for years that I’m not really that much of a shipper HOWEVER! That doesn’t mean that I never really cared for it...in fact I do look forward to some characters interact with one another in hopes to deepen their relationship and get some adorable moments out of it. In terms of shipping “main girls” with Ash, I pretty much do with all of them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so I guess you could say I’m a multi-shipper with no true OTP. Pokémon is in fact the FIRST show that I ever shipped fictional characters, and I’d like to share my opinions and favorite moments with every ship I’ve found really cute in these special Valentine’s posts. Welcome to the beginning of P J’s first ever SHIP-A-THON! Let’s kick it off with.....

My case in KANTO/ORANGE ISLANDS/JOHTO:

PokéShipping / SatoKasu (Ash/Satoshi & Misty/Kasumi): This is where all shippers’ (at least most of the people I know) born in the 90s journey began. Mostly EVERYONE knows what this ship is, even for Pokémon fans that don’t even watch the anime anymore. Heck, even people who aren’t even into fandoms or shipping characters in general adore this childhood ship. But enough about the general public, what I personally loved about this ship was the development of their friendship. Misty originally just wanted Ash to repay her the broken bicycle Pikachu fried, but eventually she enjoyed traveling alongside him (along with Brock) and became one of his biggest cheerleaders in battle. She has also probably argued with Ash the most out of all the other female protagonists, but that’s because they care for each other, right? ;) Their interactions are always the funniest! Favorite moment - From the episode where they parted ways after the Johto League :’( I actually cried in watching this episode for the first time. It just shows you that Misty didn’t want to stop traveling with Ash because she was happy with the time she spent traveling with him. And she got hurt because of Ash’s denseness to her feelings, but I know he didn’t really mean that to hurt her.

Honorable mentions: OrangeShipping isn’t exactly something I ship but did it get some cute moments out of it especially during Pokémon Chronicles. And I gotta admit Misty and Tracey have kind of a cute pairing, but still it’s just inferior to PokéShipping in my opinion (I know there’s a following out there, so please don’t take it as an offense). PalletShipping on the other hand is the first same sex ship I heard of in the fandom. Although I’m not really into it same sex shipping, I absolutely have nothing against it either! In fact I treat this as a brOTP in my book. Ash and Gary’s relationship in the original series has been a very competitive one (up until the Silver Conference), and I can see why some people believe there is “hot” tension between them when they get close ° ͜ʖ ͡ FireShipping was a thing I liked a bit since Macy was the first girl *on-screen* (I see you AmourShippers) that actually liked Ash (even though Ash was still dense to sense it), plus we got good reactions from a jealous Misty xD While I just really like the BaseballShipping pairing of Ash and Casey. Her spunky attitude fits right well with Ash’s...one of his most underrated rivals in my opinion. Also BodyslamShipping that features Ash and Chikorita/Bayleef, is one of my favorite trainer X Pokémon pairings because of Bayleef’s crush on Ash ever since catching her. Of course with these type of shippings, I don’t necessarily push the “romantic” thing to far...like what I said my definition of shipping is more on the cute and kawaii side of things (ﾉ≧ڡ≦)

P J’s ship-a-thon: OS | AG | DP | BW | XY | SM | Others | Non-Pkmn ships

[pinkislouder]

I was tagged by @genderqueerlarrie​, thank youuuuu.

1: Are you named after someone? okay so when i was born, Leonie was such a rare name. My mum had heard it from a friend’s friend’s daughter, or something and she looked it up and she loved that it meant lioness, and she decided her first daughter would be named Leonie. (I think if I’d been born a boy, she would’ve named me Robert or something, rip). My middle name is my grandma’s name and it’s Latin for ‘born again’, and that. means a hell of a lot. 

2: When was the last time you cried? like, properly cried and not just tearing up? I think last December. 

3: Do you like your handwriting? I do sometimes, yes!

4: What is your favourite lunch meat? I don’t really eat meat, tbh. Chicken? 

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I mean, at least I’d have someone who I could drink with. 

7: Do you use sarcasm? Never. 

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yep. 

9: Would you bungee jump? fucking hell no. Heights are like, my biggest fear. 

10: What is your favourite kind of cereal? uhhh, any kind of granola with some kind of fruit. does that count??

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? haha nope. 

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? I know I am, but it’s hard to remember sometimes.  13: What is your favourite ice cream? I think yoghurt.  14: What is the first thing you notice about people? christ, okay so it depends on where I meet them. When I meet someone online/on tumblr, obviously the first thing I notice is the way their posts are written, the way they talk in their tags, how funny they are, etc. In real life, I think I notice whether someone is self-confident or not. It takes like .2 seconds. 15: What is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? my thighs. 16: What colour trousers and shoes are you wearing now? blue jeans and no shoes.  17: If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? harry voice: RAINBOW

18: Favourite smell? my grandma’s old jumper, horses, newborn babies (i know this sounds weird but when you have the privilege to hold a newborn baby in your arms, and the baby is asleep and it just smells of peacefulness and fresh skin, it’s just.)

19: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my best friend

20: Favourite sport to watch? footie!!  21: Hair colour? dark blonde with burgundy/purple tips. I want sort of rose/gold blonde next. 

22: Eye colour blue 23: Do you wear contacts? no

24: Favourite food to eat? avocado?? I say this all the time but literally. give me avocado and a bit of salt and pepper and I will eat it, just like that. 

25: Scary movies or comedy? I am too much of a chicken for scary movies, so comedy it is! 26: Last movie you watched? Um, I just watched an Inspector Barnaby episode with my parents 27: What colour of shirt are you wearing? pink

28: Summer or winter? neither, i hate the extreme seasons. give me spring or autumn. 

29: Hugs or kisses? both, i guess alskdjlaskdj

30: What book are you currently reading? a book on the four inklings (CS Lewis, Tolkien, Owen Barfield, and Charles Williams)

31: Who do you miss right now? my little sister and my grandma, also Louis Tomlinson, where are you son

32: What is on your mouse pad? does anyone even still have a mouse pad?

33: What is the last tv program you watched? Inspector Barnaby

35: Rolling stones or the beatles? Okay so why the fuck do I have to decide. Look, I love both. Sue me. I listen to the Beatles more but the Stones can put me into a good mood immediately. 

36: What is the furthest you have ever travelled? To Seattle. From Frankfurt. It was like a 12 hour flight, rip.

37: Do you have a special talent? I think I am good at explaining, which is why teaching makes sense. But I also have a knack for languages, I am really good at interacting with children, and I’m a decent cello player. 

38: Where were you born? Germany Okay so I tag @ivegotfirefouraheart @louistomlinsons @plaidcardigan @coffeehazza @prettiestperrie @reinventlou @teamnouis and @loveloveolivia

[sqrzos]

92 Statements Tag

thanks to @vangoghs-flowerss for tagging me, love you friend!

Rules: Answer the 92 Statements + tag 20 people.

Last:

1. Drink: Homemade iced tea 2. Phone call: to my dad, to see if he knew where a couple books were 3. Text message: my friend, answering and asking questions right now because this reminded me to text back 4. Song you listened to: Uh, something from Ceremonials by Florence + The Machine (not sure which song, I had a playlist on and all I remember is that it was Florence and not Hozier) 5. Time you cried: Oooh boy it’s actually been like, a week, maybe more

Have you:

6. Dated someone twice: HaH you’re funny. no. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: I do not qualify my one experience with someone as a relationship, therefore he could not have cheated 9. Lost someone special: Yup, if family counts  10. Been depressed: Hoooooo boy am I ever 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope.

List 3 favorite colors: 

12-14. Green, blue, and purple (pretty much any shade of them)

In the last year have you:

15. Made new friends: Yep! 16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in it. 17. Laughed until you cried: No, but I have laughed until it hurt 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Not in the dramatic sense, no 19. Met someone who changed you: Honestly I don’t know. Do dogs count? 20. Found out your real friends: Nah, that happened in grade nine 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Don’t have facebook

General:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Don’t have facebook 23. Do you have any pets: Yes! Popper, a grouchy bearded dragon and Jackson, an over enthusiastic shepherd/rottweiler/unknown mix 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope! I like my current one pretty well, though some are definitely prettier 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Tried to go to mandarin with friends, couldn’t get a table despite having a reservation, and walked to panera instead. 26. what time did you wake up: 7:30 am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: being in the first stages of sleep 28. Name something you can’t wait for: The next episodes of Teen Wolf, and the premier of The Bright Sessions season 4 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: when I was six, or this afternoon (birth mom vs step mom) 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I’d like to have stable mental health and a plan for the future please? 31. What are you listening to rn: the click of Popper’s timer for his lights, and the sound of my dad and brother in the house 32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yep, my cousin 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: I have a slight headache right now and also persistent homophobia, racism, xenophobia, and other societal intolerances 34. Most visited websites: Tumblr and youtube, according to Chrome 35. Elementary: Yup, hated it 36. High school: Currently- it’s better than elementary but still not perfect 37. University: Listen man I have no plans for the future 38. Hair color: Medium brown 39. Long or short hair: Longish? I’d like if it was like, ‘Cheryl Blossom’ long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: other than recurring pangs when I look at old crushes, no 41. What do you like about yourself: My humour 42. Piercings: Just regular lobe piercings 43. Blood type: I have no idea 44. Nickname: Amy, Ames, or, when I was really little, Boo or Stumpy 45. Relationship status: Single  46. Zodiac: aquarius 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite tv show: Hooo boy I have bad taste. Teen Wolf and Supernatural, despite consistent issues regarding treatment of ‘minority’ characters (even though ‘minority’ is a bad concept cause it alienates ppl who aren’t ‘normal’ plus they outnumber the people who qualify as a ‘majority’). I just fall in love with characters and continue watching because I care about them! I can’t help it! 49. Tattoos: nope, but if I got any I’d get this one really small someday, plus the symbol my mom had tattooed that contains my name and a heart

First

51. Surgery: to cut back the thingy under my tongue cause I couldn’t eat as a baby 52. Hair dyed In different color: actually never dyed my hair. I’m too scared to bleach it and I feel like having it go darker would look bad on me 53. Sport: other than in gym class? Uhh horseback riding or swimming? Does swimming lessons that I sucked at count? 54. Vacation: There are photos of me in newfoundland when I was tiny? Idk if that was my first though 55. Pair of trainers: I have no idea man

More general

56. Eating: I had hash browns (I call them potato thingies so that might not be what they actually are) 57. Drinking: Again, either iced tea or water 58. I’m about to go: nowhere, I don’t leave my house unless I have to 59. Waiting for: Teen Wolf to come on so I can PATIENTLY wait to see my Hales 60. Want: mental stability, a billion dollars, and to be friends with some of the people I look up to (youtubers mostly) 61. Get married: Honestly maybe. Idk, that’s a long way off. 62. Career: Hoooooo boy I have no idea. I like learning how things are connected- maybe something about science, language, or history? 63. Favorite artist: Jazza from Draw With Jazza (I forget his real name but he’s a really fun guy) and all my friends who make art 64. Place you want to travel to: Ireland cause there’s old, pretty places. I heard something about norway having gorgeous forests?New Zealand is also gorgeous... And ofc Germany to meet my friendo @vangoghs-flowerss and also because it’s apparently really heckin pretty? From what I saw?  65. Favorite subject: Art cause I’ve got friends in that class, and history. Idk, any class is fascinating with the right teacher.

Which is better

66. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. I don’t like the feel of kisses much, and hugs are great and comforting as long as I have an escape route. 67. Lips or eyes: Eyes tbh 68. shorter or taller: Are we talking about me? I want to be tall so I can be an elven warrior, but if we’re talking about my preferences for others I don’t care 69. Older or younger: For a partner? I guess a little older so that I don’t have to be the mature one. Assistance in life would be great 70. nice arms or nice stomach: All stomachs are nice stomachs so I’m gonna say arms. 71. Sensitive or loud: Honestly sensitive for me and a partner. They can be loud sometimes, but I need someone who’d listen too. 72. hookup or relationship: Relationship. I might be ace sooooo... 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Like, both? In moderation? Neither totally complacent nor boring and stiff. Idk, I like having fun but I dislike bringing people to emergency rooms

Have you ever 74. kissed a stranger: Not even close 75. Drank hard liquor: What qualifies? I think the fact I have to ask means it’s a no 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: No, but I have broken them. 77. Turned someone down: Yes, but only after panicking, saying yes, then regretting it and admitting I don’t like them (this happened twice. Twice!) 78. sex on the first date: I’ve never even been on a date you’re overestimating how attractive I am here 79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so? I hope not?  80. Had your heart broken: I’m a teenager I’ve never been in a serious relationship 81. Been arrested: Jesus christ no 82. Cried when someone died: No, even though both my mother and grandfather have died. My mom’s, I was too young to understand properly, and my grandfather, I wasn’t there and wasn’t really close to 83. fallen for a friend: Again, never been in love, but not really? I’ve thought about dating p much everyone but never really wanted to. It’s more of a ‘what if’ thing.

Do you believe in:

84. yourself: sometimes, rarely 85. Miracles: honestly? not really, unless you mean the everyday kind 86. Love at first sight: tbh sometimes. It takes effort to maintain though. 87. Santa Claus: cover your kid’s ears, folks...................no 88. Kiss in the first date: maybe. Depends how it went, and the context of the kiss (goodnight/goodbye cheek kiss? sure. random kiss while on the date? probably not.) 89. Angels: honestly maybe? I feel like if they do exist, they don’t interact with humans Other

90. current best friends name: Uhhhh I have a bunch and at least a couple would kill me if I didn’t pick them so... Amanda, Sia, and Lorena 91. Eye color: grey-green-bluish 92. Favorite movie: Don’t make me pick between The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, I can’t do it.

I tag : @disturbingpeopleismylife, @beriala ,,, I have no other friends on Tumblr other than my friend who tagged me in this

[twdmusicboxmystery]

2017 Re-Watch: 3b

Good morning and Happy Monday! Here are my observations for 3b (I made it through the hardest part of the re-watch. We’ll only be doing 3 episodes/week from now on.)

3x09 - 1) So this is the episode where Daryl leaves the prison with Merle (and the fandom sobbed for a week). The thing that really jumped out to me about this are Daryl’s words to Rick before and Merle take off.

We’ve been discussing this a lot in my FB group. I think we’ve all be a little surprised at what we’ve observed as we’ve re-watched: Beth, even in S3, is not considered a child. (And this isn’t specifically a TD thing so much as an argument against the lame age-gap argument the haters like to throw around.)

Remember how in my last post I mentioned @rednecksaints observation that Beth and Daryl often talk indirectly in group discussions and answer one another? Well, I realized in 3b that it’s not just Daryl. Both Rick and Glenn on various occasions also speak with her as though she’s one of the adults and answer her concerns just as they would Carol’s or Hershel’s. The interesting thing is that, in Georgia, you’re considered an adult at age 17, rather than 18. That’s specific to the state, but it’s interesting that they went out of their way to tell us she was 17 in s3.

@boltthrutheheart also observed that Beth is never lumped in with the “children.” We were talking about s5 at the time, which I’ll get to in a minute, but you see it here in 3x09 as well. And from Daryl, no less. Let me show you. So he’s getting ready to leave with Merle. He says this to Rick:

“Take care of yourself. Take care of Lil Ass-Kicker. And Carl. He’s one tough kid.” Before walking away from Glenn and Maggie, he specifically mentions Hershel. “Say bye to your pop for me.” Glenn had already asked what they should tell Carol. So he doesn’t mention Beth specifically (we wish, right?) but the point is that when he talks to Rick, he specifically mentions the children. Tells Rick to take care of them. And Beth is most definitely not lumped in with them. Even in S3, he didn’t see her as a child.

I’ll do a post about this later, but we see an echo of this in 5b when they reach Alexandria. While being interviewed by Deanna, Daryl specifically mentions that the “boy and the baby” deserve a roof.“ That doesn’t have much to do with this. The post I want to do is about Daryl and Beth being protectors of children. But the point is he thinks of Carl and Judith as kids. No one else. I do think it’s kind of interesting that he says this in S5 right after killing the possum. In fact, he brings the dead possum to the interview. He’s holding it. (Ew.) 

So if that was meant to be a parallel with this in S3, here he was leaving with Merle. The more I watched S3, the more parallels I saw between Beth and Merle.

2) Interesting line from Andrea at Woodbury: "We don’t even have funerals anymore because the death never stops.” Obviously the reference to funerals caught my attention. But it also occurred to me that in the show, TF and the “good” people always have funerals. “Bad” places–think Woodbury, Terminus, Grady–specifically don’t. This line was a foreshadow that Woodbury was a bad place. (By this part in the season we already know the Gov is twisted, so it’s not a big revelation, but it is a hint of what to look for.)

3) Beth and Carol talk about Daryl. I posted this edit last week bc I love this scene. 

Two things jumped out at me from the dialogue. Again, not so much TD-ish as just Bethyl-ish. But again, if she’s really not coming back, what a waste.

A) Carol says, “Men like Merle get into your head. Make you think you observe the abuse.” Beth asks, “Even for Daryl?” I think she was surprised, since she’d always seen Daryl as so strong (“We’re weak without him.”) that Merle had so much sway over him. She’s trying to figure him out here, with Carol’s help. This convo with Carol gave Beth a lot of insight into Daryl. It played into their relationship later. Because of this, Beth would have understood that Daryl was being masochistic after the fall of the prison. That he was punishing himself for something that wasn’t his fault. This sets an interesting groundwork.

B) Beth says, “She wouldn’t have made it Daryl hadn’t been here. He couldn’t stand to lose anyone else.” I’ve seriously heard that line/watched this scene like a hundred times, but I’ve never connected that line to 4x01. “Just tired of losing people. That’s all.” That line prompts Beth to hug him. It shows that she was paying attention back in S3. She remembered how hard he fought to keep Judith alive and when he was sad about losing people in 4x01, she understood probably better than anyone else at the prison specifically BECAUSE she remembered.

See what I mean? So much buildup here. No way Gimple is stupid enough to waste that.

3x10 - Home is my favorite episode of S3. We get some much backstory about Daryl and Merle. This is also where we see the scars on Daryl’s back for the first time. And at the end he shows up to kick butt and save the day. Not a mystery why it’s my fave, right? Such a great episode.

Also, this bridge scene with Daryl and Merle is interesting. 

I’ve never looked very closely at it before, but it contains a bridge, a red car, a crying baby, and a blond, female walker that’s shot in the head. Just saying. To be honest, I’m not sure about it because it doesn’t FEEL particularly symbolic, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t have been built on. If there is a connection, it probably has to do with Merle, and the fact that he was presumed dead and time-wise, this was not long after he and Daryl were reunited.

3x11 - So after Daryl and Merle return to the prison, the group is all standing around in the cell block, discussing what their next move should be concerning the governor. Only because I was paying attention to Beth and Daryl’s dialogue/interactions, something jumped out at me.

Merle makes everyone uncomfortable by telling them the Gov has the advantage in guns and numbers and that he could easily besiege them at the prison and starve them out. Maggie says they should put Merle in the other cell block. It’s obviously just because what he’s saying is frightening her. Daryl says, “No. He’s got a point." 

Maggie turns to Merle and starts yelling at him saying, "This is all you. You started this.” Then Beth chimes in saying, “What’s the difference whose fault it is? What do we do?”

It occurred to me that Beth kind of defended Merle, or at least kept the others from directed more negativity at him, right after Daryl did. And why would Beth defend Merle? In 3x09, talking to Carol, she said she thought he was a jerk. She has no reason to defend him now, especially against Maggie. Merle was the one that imprisoned Maggie and took her to the Gov. Beth really ought to hate him in the same way Glenn does. Beth only said something bc Daryl defended his brother against Maggie. Beth was taking his side. (All together now: Awwwwww.)

Beth sings the song, Hold On in this episode. I won’t say anything about it now. I’m gonna give it its own post.

3x12 - Clear has been discussed before as a major TD episode. (X, X, X) Check these three linked post for info about stuff on the walls. Couple of other things I noticed, though. At the beginning of this episode, we see a sign that Rick, Michonne and Carol drive by. It says, “Erin, we tried for Stone Mountain. –J" 

When they get stuck, a female walker with a bracelet that says Erin shows up. 

I’m not really sure what to make of that, and I’m not saying it’s a TD thing, but… It reminds me of 4x06/07 when the Governor is on the road and sees names and signs on the side of the barn. He then assumes one of the names when he meets Tara. I feel like there’s higher significance to this little detail than just the obvious tragedy. (And remember Gimple wrote this episode.) I can’t put my finger on what it is.

Btw, we also see train tracks in this episode. Very obviously. Just sayin’.

3x13 - In this episode, Maggie and Glenn make up and do the deed for the first time since before they were taken into Woodbury. I noticed that Maggie said, "I’m with you. I’m always with you.” That’s pretty much exactly what Michonne said to Rick in 5x16. “And if we don’t, I’m still with you.” Now, granted, Beth didn’t ever use this exact phrase (Shh. Don’t tell the haters.) But she did say, “I’m not gonna leave you,” which means the same thing with different words.

My point is that this is an exchange we’ve now seen twice with romantic couples. I bet we hear it at some point in the future with Bethyl. And Carnid.

Rick announces in this episode that they’re going to war against the Governor. And it’s a hella lot like Negan saying it in 7x16.

3x15 - This is where Merle kidnaps Michonne and takes her to the Governor. So we have Merle in a car a lot. (Can we appreciate this shot of Merle in the front of a blue car with a cross?)

This scene also had a lot to do with cars and killing walkers with wires, kinda like the wire trick on the highway in S7. Both also included Michonne (you go girl!).

In the car, there was some interesting dialogue. Michonne tells Merle that he can just change his mind and they can go back to the prison. Merle stops the car and says, “I can’t go back. Can’t you understand that?” It reminded me a lot of the S5 dialogue. “Can’t go back, Bob.” I don’t know how the two would be connected, but just wanted to point out the similarities.

And can we appreciate that there are only two people Daryl cried like this about: Merle and Beth. 

Not only does it show that they’re the two people he cared about most in the world, and lost, but the two of them have a surprising amount of parallels.

3x16 - Okay. There were lots I saw in the finale. And that’s not surprising given that Gimple was brought in to rewrite the final episode, especially as concerned Andrea’s death. There’s no way to know how much of the episode he rewrote. Did he just put in small things here and there, or did he completely overhaul the final episode? No idea. But there are definitely some things that show he was preparing for S4 and Beth’s arc with this episode. Read THIS POST for lots of details about the Beth stuff. I’m only going to mention it briefly here.

Let’s start with some foreshadows we can say for sure were fulfilled in S4. I point them out to show that most of this episode foreshadowed coming events:

1) Carl killing that Woodbury kid with the gun. This was a plot point we saw a lot in S4. Carl losing his humanity is what led to Rick stepping back from his leadership role at the prison. So this one event informed all of 4a. We didn’t see Carl’s anger until 3x16. It wasn’t something they were building to with all of 3b. I really think it’s something Gimple added in at the last minute. Him killing that kid was a sudden, somewhat random occurrence.

2) The Governor. He killed his own people and disappeared, which led to his arc and eventual demise in S4. I honestly think, if Gimple had been in charge for more of S3, they might have dispatched the Governor in S3. But no way they could have given him a decent sendoff in only one episode. So they left him as a loose end they could use to propel the story forward in S4.

3) Karen’s survival. It was kind of random that one member of the Gov’s people would just so happen to survive. But this served three different purposes: she was able to tell Rick and Daryl what had happened, she led them back to Woodbury so they could be with Andrea in her final moments, and Karen became a part of season 4 because of Tyreese, the virus, and Carol killing her. Yeah, that was the kickoff for Carol’s whole arc which is still going on in S7/S8. See what I mean? Lots of planning there.

Bonus: Um, can we also appreciate that Karen survived what would have been a gunshot to the end (though he didn’t actually end up shooting her) and when TF arrived on the scene, she was in the front seat of a green truck. Juuuust saying.

4) Another thing you could see as a foreshadow concerning Karen: when they get to Woodbury, Tyreese shows a lot of concern for her. Remember that he doesn’t trust Rick’s group because the last he saw of them, Rick had a meltdown and kicked him and Sasha out of the prison. He yells to Karen, “Are you all right? Why are you with them?” She tells him Rick saved her, etc. But you can kind of see how that convo could turn into romance. I think this foreshadowed Ty and Karen’s relationship in S4.

Okay, that enough proof that they used this episode to kick us into S4? Let’s look at few others that are important to TD:

1) In the cell, as they’re all getting ready to get into place for the Governor’s attack, I noticed that Carl was looking at the sheriff’s badge. It jumped out at me, but it had little to do with Beth, so I dismissed it. Then I noticed something else. Right after looking at it, he walks up to her and gives her some bags to put in the car. It’s a small interaction. Minute. But we had the sheriff’s badge, and then 5 seconds later, Beth.

But it gets more interesting. After telling Rick that he doesn’t feel bad for shooting the Woodbury, Carl drops the badge in the dirt, and Rick picks it up. 

They were already leading us into the “new sheriff in town” theme. By dropping the badge, Carl is relinquishing both his “good guy” status, which is why Rick also steps back, to save Carl’s humanity, and his “sheriff” status. The obvious thing is that Rick will simply carry the badge as a symbol of him still being the sheriff, but in 4x01, which is the VERY NEXT episode, he’s stepped down as leader. See what I mean? It’s very round-about, but there has to be a new sheriff in town. The only other one besides Rick and Carl in these two scenes, is Beth. Just saying.

2) Beth wearing ComicBook Andrea’s beanie is important. It shows that they were already planning to give her Andrea’s arcs, even in this season. (X)

3) The Governor reads a scripture about resurrection. Think about that, guys. RESURRECTION. The wicked vs. righteous reference I get, but there are about 2,000 scriptures they could have used to piss the Governor off, here. Nope. They went with one about resurrection. And the Governor, other than going missing and returning, never had any particular resurrection arc. Gimple was already planning for some sort of resurrection arc in this episode. This was his foreshadow of it.

4) I noticed some lighting parallels I hadn’t seen before. The Gov going into the prison vs. Ty’s hallucination in 5x09. 

Again, I’m not sure this was planned, but it could have been built on. If it WAS planned (again, big if) it becomes interesting because this lighting happened almost synonymously with the resurrection scripture, and of course 5x09 was all about Beth’s and Ty’s “deaths” being tangled up. Super interesting.

Two more things and I’ll be done. (Sorry this is so long.)

5) Andrea says, “No one can make it alone, now.” And Daryl answers, “Never could.” I’ve heard that line lots of times, but it jumped out at me as a possible foreshadow of Daryl’s arc, both because it’s Andrea (who’s shoes Beth steps into) and Daryl talking and because of, you know, 4x13 Alone.

6) Finally, two arcs end pretty well in this episode. With Andrea, though I know a lot of people hated her death, she says, “I know how the safety works,” which is a mirror of the very first major interaction she and Rick had. Gimple loves to close arcs this way. We’ve seen it time and again, most recently with Sasha when they recreated the sunrise/sunset scene from Them. 

The other one was that Rick stopped seeing Lori at the end. He’d seen her throughout all of 3b. Finally, at the end, she disappears, showing that his guilt was gone, he felt good about what he was doing, and it’s time to move on. I’m seeing Gimple’s hand in both those closings. This is how he finishes character arcs. And then there’s Beth….

Just saying. That’s all I’ve got. I’m really gonna shut up, now. ;D