#MY BRAIN IS STILL FUCKED
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Worship
#FUCKING INCREDIBLE#I CRIED SO HARD#MY BRAIN IS STILL FUCKED#A FUCKING SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE#nono whatever#sleep token#vessel#sleep token iii#sleep token vessel#i can die happy now
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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago
(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)
#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that#literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me#it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought#my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case#because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now#also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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Her name is Fox and she bites
#She's my alter and she lives in my fucking brain#Unfortunate I know#Furry#anthro#fursona#fox anthro#fox#also im still alive just very slow uploading here#entropy art
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the eyes of a man in love
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more windbreaker comics
#you can NOT tell me that togame isnt head over heels for sakura this man is SMITTEN!!!!#like did u see his face...DID U........ im so glad he came back to join the protection squad the way i SCREAMED !!!!#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker 148#the last few chapters of wbk really rewired my brain im gonna be spinning through these fruity fucks for a while dont mind me#togasaku#kamesaku#haruka sakura#togame jo#wind breaker#wind breaker comics#comics#thecmart#wbk#also sry ill address asks in due time!!! my headspace is still a dumpster fire im barely squeezing these lil comics out
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one of the most annoying things about being both a sera and vivienne enjoyer isn't even the fandom. it's the game itself that is like. primed to try and make you dislike both of them. or at the very least it operates under the assumption that you already don't like them.
the player is rarely allowed to give sera actually positive and understanding responses but is given every opportunity to kick her out of the inquisiton (she is the only companion this is a constant option for) and to insult her/her beliefs. so many of the player dialogue choices have the inquisitor calling sera unreasonable or nonsensical but so few letting you fully agree with her in a way that doesn't sound condescending in some way. this even extends to some of the companions and how they interact with her.
and then for vivienne, she is constantly referred to as being untrustworthy, manipulative, and "only in it for her own goals" when. surprise. everyone here is here for their own goals. solas and blackwall actively lie to and manipulate the player while iron bull has the potential to turn on them completely and cassandra repeatedly presses the inquisitor into being a religious icon to fit her own beliefs, even when they protest. not even mentioning the "but what's her real agenda 🤔" line in her character trailer, the snow white reference in her personal quest, and how her epilogue slides have this Edge to them that no one else seems to get.
idk!! just wow. wish the game liked them more.
#dai#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#vivienne#vivienne de fer#da:i#sera#sera dragon age#da sera#bioware critical#i HATE the wording in vivienne's epilogue slides. but thats for a different post maybe idk#this isnt shade at the other companions i love them dearly. but goddd#do i think it was intentional? who knows. but its aggravating#its entirely possible and even likely that vivienne was set up as a distraction from solas actually being the big bad but it still#fucks over people's perceptions of vivienne#and i cant think about sera too hard or my brain will explode
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[ID in alt text, transcripts for comics also found there!]
🎉🎇HAPPY NEW YEAR!🎇🎉
Sure was a year...This is just me taking the end of year opportunity to post the various DC comics doodles that have been gathering dust in my files! Disclaimer that I'm a heathen who mostly reads batfam comics (and also a lot of. Sidekick-y stuff? Like YJ98) and these are all for fun! (Image #3 is a direct adaptation of this text post I made)
#dc comics#dc#cassandra cain#damian wayne#roy harper#lian harper#cassie sandsmark#maya ducard#flatline dc#kathy branden#...im hesitant to tag steph bc i feel like everytime i tag her the post refuses to show in her tag#stephanie brown#anyway yeah uhhh recently bought the yj98 omnibus (IT'S FUCKING HUGE) so that's why cassie redesign#years and years ago i posted a draft of a cassie redesign that's like. similar to what i have but i vastly prefer this version#OH!#i forgot to tag stephcass :(#whoopsie#but yeah i did a lot of steph reading this year (STILL SO MUCH TO DO) and ouughh boy. she's had her claws in my brain ever since#damian and dick are there. nough said#<- I'm extremely mentally ill about them there's just still a lot for me to read. i have nightwing rebirth with them! and some early b&r 09#also robin 2021 issue. 4? i wanna say? the one where dick gives damian his bday present. makes me cry like a pressure washer#also I'm so sorry if I've somehow managed to (in my extremely limited presentation of them) present roy and lian as ooc in anyway#I've only read arsenal 1998 bc it was a mini. hit or miss but it did imprint a love of roy and lian on me#I'm only semi following the current green arrow run rn mostly for those 2#(also sidenote the guy who writes current GA is ALSO writing B&R AND SUPERMAN??? AND A G.I JOE COMIC????-#-girl say what you want about his work it's a miracle any of it is comprehensible at all w/ all those titles going on)#(he said he's not sure how long he'll stay on GA tho. I'm also low-key not sure how long he'll stay on B&R-#-though i imagine it'll be at least a years worth bc he said that's how much notes he has for plot? also idk if many other writers at dc-#-are interested in damian rn especially next to Bruce)#HOO this got away from me I'm outta tags. uhhhh see u guys in 2014! woo!
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thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.
And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.
And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.
And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?
Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.
Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.
#humans are space orcs#humans in space#earth is a deathworld#earth is space australia#tagging this so that ppl can find it even though the space shit i write about always feels like its in direct opposition to all the pop tag#also my biggest pet peeve in all of writing - all writing. everywhere. not just in fanfic but books and tv and movies too - is when people#write off an injury by saying something like 'oh nothing bad just a couple of scratches some bruising and a minor concussion' like girl WHA#MiNOr ConCuSSioN is such an oxymoron and I hate it so fucking much. like i dont care how minor it was thats still brain damage.#especially when the same character does this more than once. like im sorry ms. but uh. you can no longer read. or talk eloquently. sorry#evidence: my brother has had two 'minor' concussions and now cannot read write or speak without tremendous effort. And like its totally#ruined my ability to watch action shows/movies because now i just sit there and count how many concussions there characters are getting#after a certain point it becomes totally impossible to believe that these guys are able to function. (still fun to watch tho im not a hater
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get kissed idiot
#found this digging trough my art folder. not that good but it's probably the best kiss i've drawn#i think i fucked up the colors because of the background#especially adora's skin lmao it looks so red#catradora#adora#catra#spop#she ra#i wish i still knew the reference image but i must've deleted it at some point because i can't find it in my folder#the file name was “they were supposed to be sitting at a dinner table but you got lazy”#and i can't tell if that's my brain filling in a whole-ass scenario or a hint to the reference image. alas#my art#spop fanart#she ra and the princesses of power
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Had a. very silly au idea while I was sick
#atlas.art#artists on tumblr#mcyt#hermitcraft#the good place#grian#mumbo jumbo#goodtimeswithscar#gtws#joe hills#ethoslab#zombiecleo#not going to say this was the result of a fever dream. bc i wasn't technically running fever#but my brain certainly wasn't working right at the time lol#anyways guess who can fucking breath and think again!!! we're so back (kind of. we're getting there. still have a very shitty cough.)
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HELL YEAH PRI(D(EMO)N)TH
#yea lydias goth not emo but a guy can dream#hiiiiiii im love them#finals are next week as soon as thats over we are BALLING.#get ready for ALL THE ART. AT LEAST UNTIL WORK STARTS FUCKING ME OVER.#my art#digital art#beetlejuice#beetlejuice the musical#bjtmtmtm#bjtm#bjtm lydia#lydia deetz#PRIDE MONTH#beetlejuice is agender + pan (and poly obv)#lydia is trans + a lesbian (still workin it out)#i wanted to do this like. a week after i posted the last one. but its pride month now#NOT beetlebabes if you tag it with that i will stab you with brain knives#pansexual#agender#lesbian#transgender
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Happy birthday!
Bonus (just each one on their own):
#this was very fun to do :-]#worry not I still have the Chara Undertale disease in my brain#i just really like these fellas and their design!#fnaf security breach#fnaf ruin#my art#moondrop#sundrop#eclipse#the fnaf character#also I STRUGGLED with the colors in this one ngl#eclipse is a fucking mess color wise#and everything wise ngl
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Okay. Genuinely seriously here is your reminder that there are people in the south. There are a lot of queer people down here, there is a very large POC population down here, there are disabled people, and poor people, and people who's rights are getting stolen during this election just as much as yours are. We're fucking devastated. We're terrified. Possibly even more than the "good pure blue states" because our governments already hate us too. We didn't vote for Trump, we do not control every other person in our states, and honest to FUCK if I see people posting things like "let's just leave the southern states and save the blue states" or whatever just because of this, I will block you on sight. My sister was so upset she was scared to drive to get me from the airport. My DAD is so upset that he texted me to let me know that he and my mom were still there for me. I'm so upset I haven't even fully processed anything at all. It feels like a fucking fever dream.
We're going to be so much more vulnerable than you, with our governments, the number of people in our communities who would choose to do this to us, the people we all know irl who would see us dead.
#okay sorry im just pissed off. i will probably delete this in a minute.#but genuinely the south isn't your enemy and you are fucking abandoning us.#there is literally only a 2.2% difference between trump and harris in georgia and atlanta hasnt finished coutning yet.#leave us ALONE.#im trying to not doomscroll rn cus im still foggy brained from my trip but just. ugh.#shh ac#election#us politics
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too sweet (astarion ancunin x reader)
"you know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain. pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape. [...] you're too sweet for me."
summary: astarion realizes you're too sweet for him, and he probably shouldn't let this go further than necessary. but, oh, he's going to. isn't he? (based on this request and the song 'too sweet' by hozier <3)
pairing: astarion ancunin x gn!reader
warnings: spoilers for games regarding camp dialogue with astarion, discussion of astarion's past trauma, talks of self-loathing/disgust with sex, vague mentions & allusions to sex having been had, manipulation at it's finest! minors dni.
wc: 2k+
a/n: i just wanted to get inside this man's mind when he drops that fucking line the second time he tries to sleep with us/tav. why does his face fall like that? why?
divider by @firefly-graphics <3
As Astarion observes the rise and fall of your chest in the soft morning light, he can only think one thing: shit. He fucked up.
And he had spent most of the early hours trying to retrace his steps, trying to decipher exactly where his monumental mistake had begun, but it seemed useless.
It could have been somewhere between the first and third bottle of wine shared with you last night during festivities, where he’d sweet-talked you to the high Hells until you’d agreed to return to his bedroll in the dead of night. Where he’d made the joke that wasn’t all that funny – the joke that he loved you. Three pretty words tried out on his tongue, and they hadn’t been nearly as light-hearted as he’d wanted them to be. More of an experiment, a quick sip to see if he liked the taste. And he had fucked up, because he did like the taste. He liked the sweetness that stuck to every corner of his mouth as he delivered the sugar-coated lie to you, his entire face falling as a new weight appeared in his chest.
But perhaps it had been the first night he tasted you – well, your blood, that is. The night he’d awoken from a nightmare of Cazador and in his vulnerability, had chosen you as his victim of yet another experiment. A test to see if he was truly free. One drop of a thinking creature’s blood, that was all he needed. But you’d given more than he’d bargained for, and your cloy ichor had coated his taste buds so addictively, and he had just known that night was only the beginning. It was the first time, but certainly not the last.
He thinks he could drink in whatever you offered him, and only that, for the rest of his days while still finding some sickly, twisted version of reprieve regardless. Not a drop more than he needed, always vying for more.
He’d be okay with that type of hunger, that type of yearning, and that might have been his first real mistake.
Or maybe, just possibly, it had been that very first meeting. Maybe he had doomed himself from the moment he’d pressed a blade to your neck, when he had dragged you to the ground with him and felt all that warmth, all that fear, radiating off of you. So frightful, and you still had offered your help to him when it was all said and done. Perhaps that was when he had well and truly screwed himself over. One simple introduction, void of his usual wine and flowers, and he’d locked himself in for pure trouble.
Not even the fun kind, at that. What a shame.
At the end of the day, or rather the beginning of the day as it is now, it doesn’t matter where his threads had started to unravel. All that matters is that they were – every carefully thought out line of his plans had all frayed, all detangled from the bigger picture, all because of you.
Heart of gold, blood of honey. You were far too sweet for him, and he knew it.
“Having fun, are you?”
“I am, it’s hard not to with you.”
You’d taken each of his tactics in stride, hadn’t you? Whereas his face had nearly crumbled beneath the weight of that beautiful lie, insides twisting uncomfortable as the humor had slipped through his fingers, your eyes had only glittered as you bit back a smirk. To so lightly tease him, to banter right back with him, instead of see the truth behind it all. He didn’t know if you were simply that naive or if you were another kindred soul – Perhaps you were finding just as much safety, just as much sanctuary, in whatever dance he’d dragged you into. An entanglement of lies, a blithe facade, a daring smile that whispers come now, play with me.
And play with him, you had.
You’d played with him, you’d drank with him, and you’d now slept with him. Twice.
“You’re up early,” your voice murmurs, silken tone cutting through all his racing thoughts.
He hadn’t even noticed you had stirred, rousing yourself out from underneath his stolen blankets to peer at him curiously as he perched on the edge of the bedroll. As far from you, and as far from your sweetness, as possible.
“Oh, you know what they say, my dear,” he chirps, rolling his shoulders as the act wraps him back up. The charismatic charmer. The illusive rogue, trained impeccably to coax you in and secure his safety, “No rest for the wicked.”
He’d awoken before you last time, too. Had watched the sun rise and enjoyed the warmth of it plastering across his skin long before you’d ever woken up. He half-hopes you’ll be less talkative this time; he half-hopes you’ll try to rope him into whatever discussion you can, if only for a few extra seconds of your attention.
You were too sweet. Too sugary on his tongue, too soothing in his chest. He shouldn’t entertain you – he shouldn’t let this go further than necessary.
You hum thoughtfully, the blanket slipping and exposing more of your chest. With the light flickering in from his tent’s entrance, he can easily spot those two scarring dots along your jugular where his fangs fit perfectly, “I don’t know if I’d describe you as wicked, lover.”
“No?” Roped into discussion, it is. “How would you describe me then?”
He’s not comfortable in this lighting. He feels feverish beneath your steady stare, the way your eyes take their time as you look over every inch of him. The languid observation has him convinced you’re seeing right through him – your glance can pierce right through all his armor and expose every flaw. You see him for the monster he is, you see him for the bitter soul he’s become, you see him as the unworthy spawn he believes himself to be.
He almost swears that you even see right through his nice, simple plan at hand, not so easily fooled as he had believed you to be.
“Charming, certainly,” you suddenly sigh, sitting up and keeping your body mostly covered still with that knitted blanket. He’d only snagged it because the shade of the wool nearly matched your eyes – not that he was paying attention to your eyes, of course, “But then again, you’d have to be to have bedded me twice now, wouldn’t you?”
“We can always make it thrice,” he banters back, ignoring the bile that builds at the insinuation. But if that’s what it takes – laying on his back over and over again – to guarantee your protection, he’ll do it. He’d do it a thousand times over to keep himself as far away from Cazador’s chokehold as possible, “Does that entice you, love?”
When he turns his body fully, beginning a carefully and calculated crawl up the bed roll, ready to slot his body back between your thighs and encourage you to have his way with him, you stop him. The heel of your foot delicately presses against his chest, your head tilted curiously before you shake it.
“Who’s the eager pup now, Astarion?”
He likes the way his name drips off your tongue. Almost as if he might be made of the same sugar and spice as you, the same pure honey flowing through your veins also inhabiting his. You say it like a song, articulate it like the sweetest fruit.
He shouldn’t like it. It shouldn’t be able to overpower his lingering disgust with himself so easily.
“It’s hard not to be eager when it comes to you,” he says the line with good practice, beckoning a purr to his tone that had always won over the victims he’d entrap in dark taverns back in the city, “I said the Gods had made you just to ruin me, and I meant it.”
He’d meant it more than he’d realized. It wasn’t just your body that had been sculpted to draw him in – it was everything. Your entire aura, your entire glacé demeanor. All that innocence and all that geniality enticed him more than he could ever admit. You were certainly going to ruin him, so wholly and so entirely. You’d already started to, really.
You don’t respond at first, and he swears he has you. You’re locked in on his distraction, caught up in his web, just as he needs you to be. One lithe hand lifts to your ankle, cool fingers wrapping around your warm skin as he begins to lower his lips, ready to pepper kisses up your leg. Prepared to offer you his mouth, his body, in return for the one thing he needs. Self-loathing be damned.
Old habits die hard, right along with pride, and he’s not quite ready to bury either at your grave yet.
But just as he presses the first chaste kiss to your skin, nearly taken back by how your sweetness still breaks through the salty surface, you’re pulling the limb away from him. Your knee draws back and a disarming smile has risen on your cheeks, eyes glittering at him just as they had the night before.
“I suppose I’ll have to come find you when everyone is asleep, then.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
What exactly had he been waiting for? You, of course. But had he been waiting for you to find him solely for what had transpired? To explore your portfolios of talents once more, as he had put it? Or had it been for something more… precarious?
Was he nothing more than a prey, waiting for you to be his demise?
Had he actually been waiting for this?
The challenging look in your eyes as they reflected back stars, the warmth of your skin so close to him he nearly melts into you. The upturn of the corners of your mouth, outlining the way you certainly know something that he doesn’t. A look you wear well, a look that shakes his foundations and rattles his bones.
“As tempting as you are, I’ll have to decline. Duty calls, as they say.”
Can you see right through him?
He should be more deflated when you start going through the motions; he should be pouting or overthinking it all as he watches you gather your clothes once more, covering up the few bite marks of his that litter your skin. Every moment you prepare to leave his tent should be one spent overthinking where he’d gone wrong – why didn’t you want him? Was his plan even going to work?
Were you truly too sweet for him? Would he have been better off trying to romance the likes of Gale for the safety just shy of his grasp now?
He doesn’t, though. For once, his mind is quiet as he watches you patter about. The bile retreats, the disgust fades. For the first time in a very long time, Astarion is leaving this interaction not feeling used.
Maybe it’s in the way you cheekily snatch one of his shirts as you both pretend he doesn’t notice it, or maybe it’s in the gentle caress of your fingers through his hair as you pass him to pick back up your discarded weapon. Maybe it’s in every shy glance you offer him, or maybe it’s in your ever present grin.
Watching you leave should worry him, but it only feels like a breath of fresh air. A wind that comes sweeping in with the promise of next time just as you pull back the flap to his tent.
And he hadn’t realized he’d been waiting patiently for you to turn back to him until you do just this, offering him one final glance that sets him aflame, “Oh, and before I forget – you can feed on me tonight, if you need to.”
Heart of gold, blood of honey. He couldn’t say no even if he wanted to.
“Then I’ll see your delicious self tonight,” he takes a pause, one big and unnecessary breath filling his chest alongside that warmth you bring to him. The fearless leader, the kindest soul. His most apt nickname for you yet falls off his lips in a content sigh, “My sweet.”
He shouldn’t entertain you – he shouldn’t let this go further than necessary.
But he’s going to. Gods, he is going to.
After all, the sweetest fruits always fall from the most forbidden branches, do they not?
#ghost's stories#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion x reader#astarion x you#astarion x tav#astarion fanfic#bg3#god i fucking love this song#idk why i really like the heart of gold blood of honey line#when i wrote it it really scratched an itch in my brain? it's probably stupid#no taglist except for reblogging on my makeshift tagging blog because i still have been too lazy to add astarion to the options#womp womp
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the quote “everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks in it” but it’s richie breaking down outside of neibolt screaming eddie we have to help him he’s still in there eddie eddie eddie
#reddie#still can’t believe bev dryly told him richie he’s gone and then made out with her new lover in front of him???#while he cleaned eddie’s blood from his glasses#i’ll actually never forgive her for that#they are fucking worms in my brain#i can’t see anything without relating it to them#except… this one’s kind of obvious#richie tozier i’m so sorry
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Everytime Dan or Phil says something that would imply they were ever more than friends I feel like I'm intruding. Like I need to stop listening I'm committing a crime
#i have so many years of 'don't make them uncomfortable with crazy shipper stuff' engraved in my brain#also all the year's of 'we're not gay' 'we're not together' it's still like whiplash to hear some of the things they say sometimes#so hearing dan say we haven't fucked on youtube was.#thank you daniel for tht insight ough#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#amazingphil#phil lester
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