#MONTY FUCK OFF

[ghostsandfools]

today's episode pissing me off, WHY IS MONTY THIRD WHEELING ON THEIR DATE :(

[padfoot-lupin77]

The most unrealistic thing in Dead Boy Detectives wasn’t the demons or the magic or the cats, it was the fact that a creature who has only ever lived as a fucking crow, upon being turned human, had social skills far better than mine, at-least-average flirting skills and didn’t have a single identity crisis. All while being a teenager.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

shoutout to Monty stood behind Crystal during her rant and silently judging her

"oh wow!! this girl has ISSUES" sort of face

[montygatorguy]

what the hell is going on with all the pearl hate i literally do not understand it at all. there are so many shitty people in this musical why are you hating her 😭

[etherealashworks]

Full Throttle

Wolfstar Top Gear AU

7. Music and Bollocks

‘You’re our connoisseur, Remus — thoughts on dear Sirius’s lap?’ ‘I’ve seen more elegant bends from a pool noodle,’ Remus quips, the dry wit of the comment belying the smile beneath.  ‘I bend plenty elegantly, I’ll have you know,’ Sirius winks, kicking out his own boots below the table for dramatic effect. The audience titters. ‘Spare me the details,’ Remus rolls his eyes. They glimmer in that secret way Sirius pretends not to notice. ‘And work on turning corners.’ Tossing his hair out of his face with a jerk of his neck in a way that’s going to make Sally curse him out, Sirius sends Remus a devilish grin. Like a lot of things, it’s for the cameras. Inside, Sirius is soup.  ‘But Moony— I’m so happy the way I am.’

Marauders Top Gear AU in which Remus is a disaster from the off, Sirius unravels at the seams, James grows a frontal lobe, and Lily has a secret. Throughout, there will be cars, catastrophes, and caravan conkers. And in the end, maybe- just maybe- they'll find something worth all of this bollocks.

[spineless-lobster]

Cunty Captain edit? Cunty Captain edit.

[alistreinn]

//slight ruin spoilers!!//

m8 was just doing his job

also rabid floor mongrel <3

creachure

all art mine :)) likes and reblogs are very much appreciated

[tagidearte-spam-sb]

I find it funny how the fandom (or, at least, a part of the fandom I see a lot) has latched onto the "Moon is obsessed with rules" headcanon. True, he's the one that comes after Gregory for "punishment time", but...

Sun is the one calling the player a rulebreaker and kicking a literal kid straight into the less-than-friendly Glamrocks' waiting arms (for accidentally turning the lights off. As if Gregory would know touching a Freddy shaped security box would do that. If it even was Gregory and, idk, ""someone"" disabling the power in the daycare on purpose). Sun is the one nearly popping his circuits if you don't follow his instructions. Sun is the one threatening to release Moon on you if you so much as colour a page wrong. Sun is the one getting frustrated with Cassie if she screws up somehow (haven't played Ruin in a while, but I do think he freaks out if you approach him in the VR world after only disabling one - or zero - generators).

Moon on the other hand? Moon is fizzyfazzing vibing (well, not in Ruin for obvious reasons). Fulfilling his task and getting the kid? Sure sure, let him just jump from leg to leg first, and walk in a goofy way at an extremely slow pace (even Monty with no legs balancing himself on crutches would probably move faster), while giggling and alerting the entirety of the daycare to his precise jingly location. He only starts taking it seriously and entering the structures when you get some generators on, and even then he's still messing around. The robot cares more about his jester theatrics than his goddamn job. If Moon really does security patrols like many people believe he does, half of them are (or were, prior to the virus) probably him tormenting a poor overworked security guard (rip Vanessa, if you're out there...).

Don't take me wrong. I love a Moon who follows the rules to a malicious degree as much as the next person. And he does seem set on putting Gregory down to sleep and punishing him. He does seem intent on harming you in HW2. But let's be real, Moon doesn't give a shit about his job half the time - doing a goofy walk, riding a carousel... those are much better. If he gets to scare someone while doing it, jackpot for him. We only really see him struggle in Ruin, as far as I recall. Sun is the one running around like a bossy headless chicken trying to get everything in order.

I think it's because Moon is the one who directly says "you must be punished" and harms you? But even then my man jumps on the table, does a goofy move, and flies off to give Gregory some time to hide for their little hide and seek game. Sun is the one getting freaked out and throwing you out without any preamble after the lights turn on.

Again, not shitting on anyone. I just think it's so funny. I legitimately cannot imagine Moon being that serious unless 1) a real intruder is at the pizzaplex, not some snotty kid; 2) Vanny tells him to; 3) something actually dangerous is happening and he's not high on whatever virus is going around.

[that-ineffable-devil]

Pouring one out for the Cat King and Monty, who were immediately down bad for the repressed Edwardian twink, clocked his suppressed attraction for his BFF of 30 years before he did, and managed to both help him stop repressing his homosexuality and acknowledge his feelings for Charles only to get shut down hard in the end.

Truly God's strongest, gayest soldiers.

[spoopy-nevermore-dump]

Hey pssst hey. Have you ever considered: Montada?

I hate it, and it nearly killed my hyperfixation

But I understand my opinion on this may affect others, and many may be hurting from this episode soooooooooo

Art requests open

[snapbackslide]

so you’re gonna be mad at the guy who captains his team 82 games a season, went to 3 straight all-star weekends instead of getting a break like his teammates do, makes a common decision to not go to an off-season tournament so he could rest and propose to his girlfriend, and out of pettiness not invite him to an in-season tournament that he deserves to be in? ah ok.

[ratatatastic]

can we pls discuss how the cats are all so horny for them getting Big and Strong and Fit and Buff. If we lived in A/B/O world the locker room and gym would be flooded with pheromones at all times

you my dear anon have truly opened yap-dora's box with this one do not get me started on this please PLEASE you know how nasty this team would go at it in an abo-verse? the pheromones would just be in a constant feedback loop if these boys weren't forced to put on blockers and use suppressants because its really the way they talk about each other and the way their affection shows

and i think just the past few days we've had so many anecdotes of paul talking about how much fitter the cats are, or players commenting on their own physique or other players talking about how much they noticed how big other players have gotten is sooooo

so allow me splurge about all the stuff these horny cats have done that live on in my brain in an abo context because yap-dora's box has been opened. dear god save us all.

the sc celebrations on and off ice: all the neck nuzzling, sashas penchant for grabbing people by the neck/head (ekky, lundy) or just ragdolling guys (forsy) about because who can say no to pack alpha? hes pack alpha! let him do whatever he wants to you! guide his hand to where you want it most (your neck)! absolutely melt that hes letting you touch his neck in return he trusts you that much! feel safe and warm with his hand on you! go limp! let him move you about! pack alpha gets whatever he wants!!

ekkys also specifically brought up monty grabbing the back of his head and rubbing his forehead on his so hard it actually hurt after winning the cup and its always lovely to see some good ole pack bonding that is the forehead nuzzle because sometimes an omega does need hard touch to keep them present

and speaking of ekky... ekky being ekky and grabbing the nearest warm neck to stick his nose into because this poor omega has toiled since game 4 and riddled with anxiety aplenty and hes de-stressing by surrounding himself with pack lest he breaks down and cries again (despite the fact he absolutely did cry on the ice) needs to be reminded hes safe now its all over hes allowed to be spoiled again and filled with the scents of all the people that he loves to soothe him

also all the club e11even shenanigans are truly unmatched sasha being very mmmmghghg with lundy, sasha being mmmdgfdghd with everyone (because pack leader of course has to re-scent everyone in a crowded club his scent gets washed out by all the sweat and people and likes his pack to smell like him :( and whilst hes not super territorial sober he does get more possessive when hes inebriated, listens more to his base instincts screaming at him that he can barely sniff out his pack and thats a no-no he likes his pack to be his), ekky clinging onto sasha (because omega is feeling loveydovey and displaying submissive behaviours to appeal to their pack leader)

but also specifically benny holding maffhew by the neck is always fun to remember because he wasnt super super touchy with anyone that night but maffhew is always an exception of course and wouldnt want to scruff this fun flirty omega? especially one you have so much storied history we love play behaviours we love tussling to re-establish pack dynamics

re: to also expand upon possessive pack leader sasha, sasha making the finns wear a shirsey with barkov city at the front of it during his cup day because that was a thing that very much still haunts me because now they each just have shirts with sashas and theirs name on it. which im sure sasha is very pleased about and thisll probably be the most possessive we'll see him get in a sober context and by god did my jaw drop

also my favourite examples of all this big talk is when mikksy gets brought up and theyre like oh hes soooooo strong hes mean (froths at the mouth at how he can push them around) sorry yall this is my guy i will be annoying about him specifically very much we have a fun new overseer to put us in our place! unfortunately the omegas on this team are very much just in constant preheat at this point like where do i even begin WHERE

also do i have to mention anything about forsy ever? do i have to? presented without comment! the graphic!

(added bonus of all the shit paul said about forsy these past days lmao)

and i just think this team is horny for each at all times and theres so many more examples and pack goes crazy theyre all fucking each other THE LOCKER ROOM REEKS

[constantvariations]

Dealing with thirteen layers of clown shit at work so I'm gonna grill some beef I've had with this show

I refuse to believe that Adam "What About the Crew Members?" Taurus would ever try to excuse his actions. One of the very first things we learn about this character is how cavalier he is regarding the others aboard the train yet the writers somehow think this should be a new development that the audience isn't even told is new until three years later

In what world does that make sense?

Side tangent: I dislike that every recreation of this conversation has him specify that it's because the crew is human rather than leaving it ambiguous or making it the fact that they're sporting the Schnee snowflake. I get that it's more in line with his faunus supremacist persona that happens later on, but I find its debut being Volume 5 to be quite telling of that development's quality

[sage-qwq]

Still trying to figure out how to draw a more intimating Monty

[ramble-monty-june]

you're telling me this is kisaki in the past.

????

[montygatorguy]

me when i make a tiktok about how i think it’s gross that people are still making im gonna touch you jokes when they ALWAYS use them in the context of groping/non-consensual touch and two of the first couple comments i get are “im gonna touch you” and “womp womp everyone’s entitled to their own opinions including the people who find it funny” will you FUCK OFFFF