#MAKE IT OTHER PEOPLES PROBLEM THAT I DONT LIKE IT

[sexybread-png]

hello everyone twt suspended me for a week (theres still 3-4 days left) so i have been a little bit bored but i figured i should post here anyways siiigghh

details under the cut

ok so the want of making an elphaba fashion exploration has been there since ive watched the movie but the urge really came to me after i explained to my friends how NOT masculine elphaba's outfit was in one of my drawings (i doodled the full outfit in the top right corner)

it really irked me when multiple comments were made abt how i was part of the ppl masculinizing cynthia's elphaba when i really put thought and effort into elphaba's fashion (as well as glinda's) in every drawing i make of her. like the cut of her sweater and the frills on her pants are very feminine-- pants are not inherently masculine (and neither are muscles but thats another conversation). i did want to explore her fashion with only pants to show how feminine pants outfits could be but i had admittedly not drawn her in as many skirts/dresses as glinda so i decided i should.

HOWEVER i do want to add. galinda's fashion is like. hyper fucking feminine. next to her, anyone would look less feminine... i mean she wears sm pink and bows and frills and shit... i find it a bit of a disservice to many artists for ppl to complain about elphaba's feminity compared to galinda's when they just dont wear the same kind of clothes.

okay a bit of a commentary not about my drawings at all but : theres also the comments on how ppl would never make galinda wear masc clothing when. thats simply not true a lot of ppl call her an egg even AND the movie versions of them are not the first. i suspect many ppl would use the same or similar hcs they had for other versions of gelphie and transfer them over. WHICH to be clear there is a problem of masculinizing black women in fandom and as an artist it is my responsibility to portray her with utmost respect. im not saying racial biases dont have a play in ppl's headcanons, but i do think excluding the history of the fandom of wicked from these hcs makes it... less true? less of a full truth maybe? do you know what i mean... as is the story of wicked, i think the issue is nuanced. also this might be only a twitter issue as people on twt do make things black and white often.

anyways! back to the fashion, im no expert either i just thought itd be nice to try my hand at it!!

oh and the other drawing well . shes just too effin cute man idk what else to tell u

[avalon-of-babylon]

Okay yeah it's like 90% the All Star we know and meme but it doesn't flow as well which I argue is a big part of what makes the song work.

In this essay I will once again be over annalize the lyrics of All Star by Smash Mouth instead of getting out of bed

Let's literally start at the beginning:

The draft version looks like it would have been the singer saying "I was a dumbass but you know over the years I came to realize fuck what others think there's nothing wrong with being yourself"

The version we got however is a perfect opening to a song which is ultimately about self-actualization and genuine self-expression. "She said I was dumb and up shit creek without a paddle but from where I'm standing she's the dumb one" which when paired with:

Creates not only good momentum but a sense of action. It's literally saying "Life doesn't stop and let you figure it out so why not live your life on your terms and just be yourself. You'll never know unless you try, and you'll never be amazing unless you be yourself"

My mama said to me "Son" she said to me

But the inclusion of this disrupts that momentum by rhyming "me" with "me" and turning the focus the song just turn towards you back on themselves making the next part into a personal story which not only doesn't add to the overall theme but has the calls to action come before the affirmations.

Hey now, you're an all star Get your game on, go play Hey now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

What we got however works better because it's telling the listener "you're already amazing, you just need to let yourself shine, you dont need to be like other people" instead of "my mom told me to let myself shine, I'm already amazing, I don't need to be like other people" it creates a sense of unity, one where we are all better for being ourselves and not a weird dude implying we should be like him.

It's a cold place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older

Back to the flow problem again by having cold instead of cool it creates this odd momentary imbalance in the rhyming by having 3 words rhymed togetherin 2 lines (cold, colder, older) instead of 2 in 2 or 4 in 2 like we see throughout the finished version by just rhyming "colder" and "older"

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get bored

Unless the line we see is adding the second half of this verse, then the draft is worse for not having it.

Not only is including the dichotomy of hot and cold good for a song with All Star's themes, but much like an onion, it has layers (obligatory Shrek reference). Without the first two lines, the verse is only reinforcing that their way of living is more exciting. However there's a number of ways to interpret the two added lines including "the veneer of normalcy is wearing away; other people are being themselves why not join" or if you want more literal "things are going to hell; why not enjoy the ride". Either way, when paired with the second half, hot and cold take on new meanings; passion and dispersion, individually and conformity, change and stagnation, reality and fantasy, autonomy and heteronomy.

I don't know why I wrote all this, I don't even like the song that much. Maybe I got possessed by the spirit of still living high school English teacher Mrs. Pack. She would do something like spend an entire class period discussing the themes of All Star.

[drdemonprince]

Maybe it’s a little creepy eh like bits of it are parasocial as fuck but also how many people in the public eye do we get that are gay, trans, Autistic, mad, fighting capitalism and shit, not pretending wannabe raging lefties so yeah let the gay boys write stories and stuff.the pedestal stuff is weird as fuck but hopefully the minority. the rest of us mad fucks need you

thats the problem dog. I cant BE what you need. i NEED all that shit just as much! I am just as affected by all those loci of oppression, just as under-represented, just as tired of not being legible to other people and having to explain and advocate for and represent myself. i CANNOT be a positive symbol of a bunch of identity groups for you. i am a PERSON trying to live their one individual life without the burden of all of that. its not fair to expect me to resolve these massive societal problems for you. it's not any different experientially from cishets or allistics tokenizing me. both completely make me into my group memberships and assign me with the burden of representation and prevent me from being a HUMAN with a ton of my own shit going on.

like whatever enjoy the porn obviously i think that's funny but you cant NEED me for shit. i am not yours. you dont know me. no person should be reduced like that.

[plaidos]

prev ask anon here. please know that i am quite familiar with AI generated art and know how the process works. i was around when the novelAI model leaked and i still generate a fair amount of it both locally on my system and with online services. i am familiar with the infrastructure and technology that goes into providing large scale AI and machine learning services as well as the small scale home PC hardware. please dont assume the worst intentions or least experience of me. as for specific instances the one that comes to mind is GwrrrUwU (now deactivated). they were copying Dross's style *exactly* and got tens of thousands of twitter followers and a lot of patreon subs. you can go look up their images still on a few boorus and they just aren't good quality. you can go look up their page on archive.org and (with a bit of finagling) see they had this in their paid tiers: "I will try to post daily, 1+ or 4+ posts minimum." 4+ images per day, every day. thats a lot. and most of it was slop. another example i just found is Modeus14 (twitter handle) who is blatantly copying __Asura_ (twitter handle). check out their patreon where they supposedly have 369 paid members and have posts with 12+ images coming out multiple times per day. do you really think they are putting in the time and care to make those images come out well? i dont. and in regards to the other reply - the fun part is that you can just insert LoRAs with a specific artists style into the process with *very* little effort. the thing is that these models trained on a specific artists' style all exist already. you can check this out yourself by going to civitai.com and just searching for a specific artist. or go to the "models" section and then click on the "style" tab. not to mention that on the various paid/online imagegen services you can just say the artist name you want to copy and it will use that style. this stuff is real and there truly is a lot of slop out there made by dishonest people. at least acknowledge that slop exists. acknowledge that people are copying styles *exactly* with little effort or care for the end product.

but like you said it’s crap — which, by the way, i have actually said *dozens* of times, most AI art looks shit. but what you’re describing is the same process that leads to mcdonald’s opening outside a local burger place to drive them out of business. like yeah it’s shitty but sorry “lower quality for cheaper faster” is literally just How Capitalism Works. you have a problem with capitalism. like i don’t see how you don’t realise you’re just complaining that a bad imitation of something is more popular than the original because it’s being pumped out cheaper and faster…. that’s how everything under capitalism works. there’s not one industry that doesn’t work this way?

[slasherflicks999]

new oc/sona yaaaaaay!

oh how i wish i had all those piercings (bridge come back to me💔)

can we guess where his name came from gang (suspiciously username shaped name)

i actually really enjoy his character design and i literally color picked his color pallet from a diagram(?) that shows how a bruise heals and it worked out LMAOO sooo new character design life hack

more info and lots of general yapping about him after the break if you care to read :3 and i yap a LOT i have lots to say about him bc its been a while since i genuinely developed an oc LMAO

cw for LOTS and LOTS of talk of death if you do decide to read! just in case :3

first of all you may be thinking “5’6? short king!” and i will have you know i actually made him taller than i am irl by a few inches LMAOOO whoops t boy swag will do that to ya

anyways the thing about his color pallet being based off of that of a literal bruise IS actually relevant because he is literally immortal and is CONSTANTLY getting injured like all the time. i think conveying info about characters via their color pallets is fun and i wanna do more of it so hehe. plus green and red and purple are a nice combo and it worked out very well :3 also another little note about his design: he’s a very creative and artistic person and i wanted to show that through his clothes being somehow modified and i think i did that well too. trying to properly get back into making actually decent and thoughtful character designs so im proud of myself :3

that being said his immortality causes him a SHIT load of problems. i feel like being immortal would really suck LMAO but more-so i feel like i dont see people do much with the idea of immortality in terms of horror or at least not from what i’ve seen. like im still figuring out his lore but the basics are: he has no clue who his dad is and found out he was immortal at a somewhat young age but literally his entire life he’s been viewed as just kind of off?? like he looks human and for the most part acts it but he just has certain traits that humans…. do not have. his eyes glow in pics like a nocturnal animal’s would and his teeth are suspiciously sharp and he gets weird cravings for raw meat which he can somehow digest perfectly fine with absolutely no issue but he’s not like OVERTLY some otherworldly creature he’s just a little weird. a tad strange even. possibly even kind of unsettling depending on who you ask.

and i like to imagine these are a lot of things that were present in his childhood too, like his mother would wake up to the sound of rummaging in the kitchen and find him at the ripe old age of five just gnawing at a whole raw steak in the dark. he’s just sort of always been like that and didn’t realize it was weird until he was older. (is a lot of this used as metaphors for undiagnosed neurodiversity/mental illness? …..iii dont knowwww :3 (yes) (although not every aspect of him is a total reflection of myself, he is still his own character in many respects lolol))

but in general this ends up causing him all sorts of issues in all sorts of millions of ways. for one he has sort of a fragile sense of self because he doesn’t even know what he is?? he knows he can’t just be a regular old human because of all the previously mentioned reasons and a few more, but that aside he has no idea what he is. he also doesn’t know pretty much anything about how his immortality works beyond what he’s experienced and what the others have told him during the times when he’s “dead,” he has no idea how his aging is affected by it because he seems to be aging relatively normally so far, he has no clue if he will EVER die for good/if there’s any way to kill him, he has no idea how his body seems to heal the most insane fatal injuries as if nothing happened, and much more quickly than a normal human would, he kinda doesn’t know jack shit about himself and it pisses him off a little bit!

it also has just caused him lots of trauma as you can probably imagine. lots of dissociation everywhere he looks

moving on to how his immortality actually works: like i said there’s only so much he knows about it but this is all the info he knows so far. he CAN “die” but all of his deaths are temporary. that is to say that his body will eventually heal and regenerate itself and he will come back. it’s not like deadpool where he can get stabbed in the head and go about the rest of his day like nothing happened, he might be able to keep himself up for a while to fight back or run away but it wont be long before he drops dead for a few days or so. during said time his body outwardly does seem very dead. he’s unresponsive and still and isn’t blinking or nothing and his pupils are blown (which he already has huge pupils but yk), like if you were to just show him to someone they’d be like “yeah that’s absolutely a corpse and also why would you show this to me.” but his body is still alive in a sense, it’s just sort of… yknow when you put a computer into sleep mode?? upon first glance it’s gonna look like it’s off but inwardly things are still going on. his body is still working to regenerate itself the whole time, even if whatever he sustained that “killed” him would very much not be healable or survivable by any normal person. in his POV, he just sort of gets knocked out for a while and then wakes up exhausted and sore and absolutely FAMISHED. like he could easily eat a horse without any exaggeration the boy can eat.

he’s also always been interested in horror and the supernatural and crime and shit and is largely desensitized to that sort of stuff from that + experiencing a lot of different deaths himself bc of the whole immortality thing paired with him being generally reckless when he was younger because what’s it gonna do? kill him? (“what’re you gonna do, jeff the kill me?” -him at jeff moments before being stabbed, probably) he says he doesn’t care but it actually effects him deeply in ways he doesn’t understand for a while. as he gets older he becomes less reckless and doesn’t throw himself into dangerous situations as often.

all that being said he’s not necessarily all that dangerous himself?? he carries his dagger around with him for protection or cutting up meat and apples or woodcarving more than anything and as a proxy he works a lot more as just an… observer. despite his name he’s not really all for the killing people stuff if he can help it unlike many of the others, if anything his name more so refers to the fact that HE’S usually the one getting slashed up. (it’s actually just bc of my username but shhhhhh) but generally he much prefers to be in the background keeping watch or scoping things out or just sort of… stalking people basically. dont ask me how he manages to be stealthy in THAT outfit… he manages somehow i swear 😔

but yknow overall he’s not an incredible threat to most people, the “creepy” part of him being a creepypasta comes a lot more just from how much it would suck to be in his shoes as just a guy who happens to be immortal but still able to experience the pain of death over and over again. he isn’t the creepy thing as much as his entire life experience is LOL. usually he’s just unsettling and disturbing at most.

he also has a VERY complex relationship with BEN in my AU specifically (WHICH RANDOM DISCLAIMER TIME: NOT THE LITTLE 12 YEAR OLD VERSION NOOOOO EW my au’s BEN is like a combo of “fanon” him and behavioral event network he is not 12 years old and i dont want him being shipped with anything NEAR that version of him, ONLY my AU’s version who is 19. im not a freak. 💔 they’re not a couple anyway (BEN🤝slasher -> being aro) but i did wanna preface that just in case bc im not trying to get misinterpreted like that) might write more about that sometime… bc their relationship has a lot of symbolism and complexity bc BEN is my fav character ever period and yes i am gonna write him and my self insert oc as being incredibly deeply intertwined bc i love him and cringe culture can kick rocks and therapy is difficult to get :3 oc x canon shippers platonic or romantic yall will always be safe on my blog frfr

im gonna post more about BEN soon too…. literally working on actually making a proper design for him rn which is mostly just difficult bc i cannot for the life of me think of what to give this freak to wear. i need them to serve cunt but like….. how do i do that 💔💔 that one BEN design i reblogged that gave him the adorable little heels….. absolutely genius………. u know who u are :3

more random rapid fire fun facts about him bc why not: he loves piercings and tattoos and body mods bc they heal so easily for him, he has his tongue split! (NEEEED to do one day actually my dream body mod), his immortality doesn’t seem to effect his ability to get sick which he HATES but when he does get sick it only lasts for a day or so and he’s a total drama queen the whole time, he loves to sew (though only by hand, he’s genuinely afraid of sewing machines) and will patch up or modify clothes for his friends or other proxies if they ask, his favorite kind of raw meat is boar, and his favorite cooked meat is a tie between pork (boar or domestic pig) and chicken, he wears his headphones most of the time bc he loves music and sounds can sometimes overstimulate him, and BEN can talk to him through them because of course he can, he loves animals and actually has way more empathy for them than for humans, and he absolutely LOVES medical dramas and does not care that a lot of the actual medical parts are inaccurate he will eat them up. he WILL be caught staying up until 6am watching chicago med and he will not apologize.

ANYWAY i think that’s about it actually. if anyone actually read all my ramblings…. i love u /p u mean very much to me /p

i WILL be yapping more soon (except probably about the actual “canon” pastas hehe) :3

[stellaclaw]

i can see your perspective, and to some extent i do agree. some of my favorite character in other fandoms are villains (something i have actually been attacked over lol).

when i say the books lack complexity, i dont mean the building blocks arent there. however, it needs to be heavily contextualized in that the writers often discard what they have- bonefall found an excellent basis the writers had set, but in crowfeathers trial, its often been noted that breezepelts edges are sanded down to make him more agreeable, and thus give an “easier” version to forgive- indeed, what we see of him in dovewings silence is very inconsistent from crowfeathers trial, and his arc is wrapped up rather abruptly and not even from his pov, when it really, truly should have been to give it a satisfying ending. furthermore, when crowfeather blames nightcloud for breezepelt hating him, we are to some extent supposed to accept that nightcloud was a problem. in the guide books shes described as jealous and bitter and coddling, and even on the official website she is assigned adjectives, and thus we are to assume her defending breezepaw from his father is bad and she had some hand in how he turned out.

the reason warriors is loved is because the pieces are there. but the writers continually neglect them, and in the end water down their own writing. breezepelt is one of the very few cases i mentioned where the set up is good enough that it can still shine while the landing was fumbled.

its why i have such trouble giving such leniency to appledusk. there is a trend in the books of such things, and so it is natural to become skeptical of the writers intentions, which im sure is something you can understand.

i can fully accept people wanting to see complexity in appledusk, and hes probably a character i would like in a “messy guy” sort of way, but there is a problem in parts of the fandom where people defend his cheating (usually by portraying mapleshade as a “buff scary woman” and depicting him as small and frail, and positioning reedshine, who he also deceived, as a therapist to him). maybe i can like him some day (i am number 1 frecklewish fan yes she did those bad things and it just adds flavor to her), but ive personally dealt with that sort of… gestures vaguely.

also dw about rambling lol i had no idea where i was going either. also didnt mean to assume, i spent a lot of time in the wcrp forums so my brain is just kind of attuned to read into things. that being said i responded calmly because i do not like to assume actual malice, doing so just makes a meaner fandom space and also prevents interesting discussions like this.

anyway if people are allowed to make excuses for bramblestar and fucking appledusk, I should also get to say that nightcloud did nothing wrong

[mesetacadre]

how does one choose a group to get organized with? only recently really got serious with wanting to be a communist (silly phrase sorry) and in this time all ive seen is just unending talk about how the biggest/most established groups suck and have problems with sexual assault and misogyny and abuse and etc. i know the answer is to talk extensively with people i trust who have had experience with this but im afraid i dont really have those contacts. at most i can dm mutuals i havent talked to before.

i feel like the best option for me is to organize with a small tight knit group but that feeling is entirely vibes based and it seems like most groups like that dont really get anything done.

sorry to drop this on you as a tumblr blog lol. i promise to not make major decisions based off of ur sole response ❤️

Sounds like you're in the US which means it almost entirely depends on the state or city in which you live. It's very common for some org/party to suck almost all of the time except for a few state chapters. I know the FRSO is better than the PSL in some aspects such as not wasting massive amounts of resources in electoral campaigns, their internal structure is not as similar as to that of a cult, and it's more likely to be changed. Of course CPUSA should be avoided than the plague. But regardless you should talk with other US commies, maybe some of my followers/mutuals are willing to give you better pointers depending on where you are. I've also seen some people say it's better to start off with a small, local group and build off there, but that has its drawbacks, just like established orgs do.

[azumasoroshi]

some of yall gotta lock tf in cuz i was reading a fic today where the author marked their fic as completed when it wasn’t and so the first chapter ended on a hella cliffhanger

and one of the comments was like “omg this is so good is there gonna be a part 2??? cuz that is an illegal cliffhanger” and the author was like “omg yes thank you there’ll be a part 2!! i only marked it as completed because people avoid unfinished fics”

like. should you not mark unfinished fics as completed? yeah no dont do that. should yall motherfuckers ALSO be reading unfinished fics so that this isn’t a problem? YEAHHHHH MAYBE

i fucking LOVE reading unfinished fics cuz that means i get to write comments about how much i loved the latest chapter without irrationally worrying that something i say will be disproven in the next already existing chapter LMFAO like it’s fun!!! all you gotta do is:

write a short summary of what happened in your bookmarks and note down what chapter it’s on out of how many, eg. gojo gets hit with suguru coffee blast meet cute 1/?

if it’s really short atm eg. <2k words 1 chapter, just put like some random word eg. explosion 1/? and you can just relive the experience blindly again when you come back to enjoy it. have fun with this one by the way, ive done some really obscure ass words/memes where i dont know what the hell they have to do with the story when i come back to it and then i read it again and im like OHHH I GET IT NOW. and sometimes i never understand what past me had in mind when writing it which is really funny it’s like a time capsule

^pro tip you can also do this for fics that are finished. literally anything. have FUN with your BOOKMARKS they’re so easily customizable and if you get self conscious you can always just make them private lol

subscribe OR just periodically scroll through your bookmarks OR mark it for later OR use original tags to mark it as unfinished or like. literally anything idfk

if you feel like being a real chad and leaving a comment it’s super easy too you can just be like omg love x scene that happened in this chapter it was so angsty/cute/crazy/unexpected/insert adjective and i loved it/im rolling on the floor/im dying/im in the ambulance, cant wait for next chapter xoxo heart emoji like it’s THAAAT easy. said by someone with dogshit social anxiety and a tendency to overthink every action ive ever made, IT’S THAT EASY!!

and like. boom. that’s it. you get new content from fics you love delivered straight to your door!! hello??? even if they never update again are you really gonna mourn the loss of like 10 seconds of your time. cmon you’re already on ao3 for hours at a time like. lock INNNNNNN

me personally i get so much fuckin shit in my emails that i can’t turn off notifs for. so when i get a notification that some fic i dont even remember updated i get hyped as SHIT because finally some good fucking FOOD!! even if i dont remember it right now i must’ve liked it enough to subscribe to it and i know my taste better than anyone else so it must be good shit lmfao…and if it’s a fic i REMEMBER then it’s like YEAHHHHH BABY. do you even comprehend how many times ive checked my phone at the bus stop and gotten a notif from either a fic or author i’ve subscribed to and just. instantly start grinning like a maniac because YESSSSSSS

can personally attest that this has happened multiple times from ao3 user hollow_lime_green (Hanatamago) and many other authors. do ittt. brighten up your day. pspspspsp do itttttttttt

[xxxairheadedangelxxx]

What is it about cis white gay men that give them the level of audacity they have to just be cunts?

The amount of bullshit they constantly have to complain about all the time is wild to me. Last night I snapped on one whiny child bc he went on a whole rant that started w "pleeeeeeeeease don't call me a hater~ but Big preschool home decor is so ugly and I hate it and it's so immature and it needs to go away" in that cute little overly flamboyant tone that apparently makes them immune to all reproach?

I won't lie I called him a boring and hobbyless sad man who needs to keep his insecurities to himself. To which he was shocked??? And upset??? At the idea of someone being soooo aggressive about a "not serious" joke

Ah yes the so obviously joking tone you have now that I'm not the only person also tired of hearing people like you sqwuak the same mindless crude oil bullshit about everything you find unacceptable. I get it u think ur quirky bc you have a literal piece of trash pinned to your head board (not a joke he had it in the video). but the thought of people actually being weird and alternative and whacky and whatever is so genuinely threatening to your milquetoast paper thin facade of cool. I'm done being kind to bitches for being like this.

I'm gonna be mean and rude and aggressive bc there are people(myself included) who get fucking bullied AS ADULTS for being genuinely alternative who are too kind to call fellow weirdos out for being cocks. I'm fucking tired of this weird protected class of cuntbaggery that's just allowed from white gay men bc I dunno misogyny is still alive and well and the only thing these droll pieces of crumbled Styrofoam ever seem to have issue w/ is things that are very popular w women and fems.

Crazy how that one works. Wild. Who woulda thought.

[imjustaf444keriguess]

lemme respond to these points one by one

1 - systems using system terms is not stealing. if they are a system, then they can use terms for systems. you can debate on whether or not they are systems, but unless you can prove that they cannot be systems, then... you're not the end-all-be-all to who can use what labels. also half the roles are just general describing words. "protector" is someone who protects its not unique to alters real people and even animals or fictional characters can also be described with that word.

2 - any community with people will have groomers and abusers. because, fun fact, groomers and abusers are still human beings and will have opinions. some groomers will be pro endo, some will be anti endo, some will give less of a shit about syscourse and some will call us all delusional. being like "well THEY have the BAD PEOPLE" is like yeah that's a societal problem not a pro endo problem it goes for anti endos too.

3 - half the "pro endo = bad" stuff you'd probably bring up is actually just ableism and has nothing to do with supporting endogenic systemhood. and no, doctors believing in endogenic systems is not the problem, and doctors disbelieving in DID systems because of endogenic systems is them being ableist, they would be using a dozen more excuses if endogenic systems weren't a thing.

4 - several points here to cover

"system hopping in the endo way" what other way is there???

"CDDs dont require trauma" is technically factual, as the DSM and ICD criteria do not require it, but if you are experiencing plurality alongside PTSD-eque symptoms like amnesia and dissociation, then it's probably because of trauma and therefore most CDD systems diagnosed with it probably have trauma!

willogenic systems exist, that's not misinformation

"alter death" is technically a real thing, but it's more a philosophical and personal experience rather than a literal death (as in, "this alter is dead" isn't a literal thing, but rather more "it feels like they have died and i have no access to this alter/headmate and they do not seem to be responding as "themself" so the person they were is no longer here and therefore is representative of some form of death". the body's heart continues to beat but that alter is not around and therefore is "dead" in some ways.)

"source memories" just put as misinformation here seems to misunderstand the role of source memories and even fiction and memories in humans understanding of reality. this needs a much bigger post but tldr source memories are real experiences, and they can impact your experience of reality, and for some, it feels real in a spiritual sense and can't entirely be disproven in that way. and also, trauma can impact you in many ways, and fictional stories can be traumatic in some form and especially with systems already overflowing with trauma their introjects source memories are probably gonna mirror or reflect real life trauma or at least be some sort of "metaphor" for the trauma so to ignore source memories or to treat them like they're not important harms all systems, especially traumagenic systems.

i don't quite get system resets but there are known experiences when the system "goes quiet" or when things abruptly change and i think a whole system being affected by a situation might make it feel like they've "reset". i think actual studies need to be done on that to properly understand it, but just because you dont understand it doesn't mean that it's misinformation, unless you actually have sources to back up this as being misinformation (and not just you stating "That's not how systems WORK though !!!"

DID is uncommon to rare. it's not super rare as in only 1 in a billion people will have it, but it's not every other person you meet. people saying it's not as rare as people think is acknowledging the fact millions do have it, but there's a difference between acknowledging "it's not as rare as people think" and thinking everyone has it. although if we're going with the "everyone is plural" argument, that's related but very different and much more philosophical, as you can't really tell someone whether or not they identify and experience having one self vs having several selves (and unless you're their therapist you probably wont know if they have dissociative and trauma issues that might cause them to be diagnosed with DID or OSDD)

5 - abusers will use any tactics to abuse people that they see fit. yes, some abusers might misuse peoples spiritual beliefs or lead people down into delusions, but some other abusers might misuse peoples disbelief in others experiences to isolate them, or to fakeclaim their victims, or to act like they're the real authority on who's a real system or not, or to try and use the knowledge of "im not a faker, im a real system with trauma" to get knowledge of said trauma and triggers and harm the victim, or... thousands of other things. this is, again, less of an "pro endos" problem and more of a "we need to be stronger in our communities and keep people safe, whether they were previously traumatized or not" kind of thing.

6 - as a nonbinary person who has experienced transmed ideology harming my experiences as a system and as a person, i do not see the harm in comparing sysmedicalism to transmedicalism. they both function in the idea of "im the real deal, you guys see my thing as fun and quirky, you're making things up and harming my ability to get medical care for what i need" and often come from real places of hurt and fear of having their rights taken away too from people they deem to not be taking things seriously or as earnestly as they are.

seeing people argue that the experience of being a system is solely medical and you have to have some problems with it in order to truly be a system and you can't want this is the EXACT same logic i've seen spewed towards those who are nonbinary and who use "weird xenogenders" and who use neopronouns and seem to "want" to be trans and who have fun with it and who might not suffer in the same way some other trans people do and who might not want surgeries and like.

me bringing up the comparison between two very similar experiences for me is not being transphobic, me saying that both systemhood and transgender experiences are real experiences that can be medicalized but are not inherently medical or even a burden to those who experience it... is not transphobic, it's literally just my perspective.

"truscum" and "traumascum" can die in a pit though, calling people scum is kinda silly. some people are scum but the problem is in the medicalization of not-inherently-medical experiences. yes, people who are trans and who have system-esque experiences do deserve the ability to get medical care for their problems if they feel it is needed, but it is not for everyone, and the suffering and medical needs shouldn't be the requirement to claim a human experience.

this got WAY too long there's so much to talk about here but yeah uhhh tldr el plus ratio plus im gaining crossover episodes every day-

hi chat how do we like the rough draft . idk when ill actually get to writing it probably after i take a nap but IT'LL GET DONE SOON ... ONE DAY ...

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[ink-the-artist]

truly not trying to detract from the very russian art of the generational trauma wolves, and i know the colors are from the ussr + russia flags, but it also spoke to me as a hispanic person. especially w respect to misogyny and how machismo tears families apart, and how trauma that comes from outside the family units gets repeated/expressed within the family unit. idk.

absolutely it applies to more than just russians, im glad it speaks to other ppl :)

[zevranunderstander]

number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)

[drdemonprince]

ok so i can send you the fanfic story if u want but now it feels like everyone is making fun of me and im getting called parasocial and ur saying stuff i dont understand i was just trying to have some fun

and yes I have a crush on u and lots of us do but this feels sad now like it’s started something else that I didn’t even want to start or to be out there. indont understand the oppression and objectification and stuff if i did that then im sorry. i feel bad but also can send you the story i wrote if u dont make fun of me.

im sorry if i made you feel gross. sucks being a gay autistic boy in this city sometimes.

Oh honey, this whole dustup is ultimately not at all about you. I don't know you and I haven't read the fic, and neither has almost anyone else contributing to this conversation. We're talking about parasociality, hero worship, objectification of "famous" people, real person fic, and a number of other issues largely in the abstract, and from our own highly emotionally charged positions on the matter. None of this is about you, how could it be, until getting this message none of us were even sure that the rumored fic was real or not.

It's hard being an Autistic man whom so many people have so many feelings about. That's all I'm fucking saying. If hearing a few people speculating about you (all while knowing nothing about you) feels this frustrating you can imagine how it might feel at an even larger scale.

I don't have any problem with you writing the fic or sharing the fic wherever you personally want to. As one creative to another, I know that following your artistic calling is a messy passionate business. I've written Grimes fanfic for fuck's sake. I get how it goes. Not appreciating people's reactions to the work is definitely a part of the artist's burden that is most difficult to navigate in this day and age, but it's not a reason to stop creating or a sign that making what you want to make is wrong. I'm mad at the broader cultural phenomenon of pedastalizing even remotely notable people not the act of making weird art, I do that too.

[bigskydreaming]

Imagine if you were a gay or bi man who tried a certain firefighter show because of all the attention it was getting for one of its mains having a later in life bi awakening.....and between seasons you ventured into its fandom in search of material to tide you over til the next one. And you're greeted by a deluge of posts and fics that are just cheerfully homophobic towards one half of the newly out bi character's canon relationship on the basis of 'well he's not the RIGHT gay guy' and pushing the idea that actually its fine to cheat on him because Reasons and he's sexually predacious based on......behind the scenes implications people have divined like they're reading fucking tea leaves.

But don't get it twisted....this fandom, like all fandoms, really cares about representation!

Sorry not sorry, but we really need to kill this idea that fandoms are welcoming and inviting and inherently progressive when they're frequently insular and reductive as fuck. Every single fandom I've been in has had major trends of people doubling down on their own headcanons and fanon interpretations of the characters and willfully enacting trends aimed at running off people who like the 'wrong' characters (usually characters marginalized along one or multiple axes), like the characters in the 'wrong ways' or other bullshit.

Scott is a Bad Friend fics overtaking Teen Wolf fandom was not incidental, it was a FEATURE of the fandom, because the vast majority of that fandom did not want to share its space with anyone who had the nerve to like its main character. Survivors complaining about or criticizing the prevalance of rape fics in a certain fandom has in my experience always led to a reactionary UPTICK in those fics, with gems like 'this character can, will, must be raped' in the tags making it crystal clear that some of these fics exist because how fucking DARE anyone try and push forth a narrative not agreed upon by Fandom Main.

I could cite examples for so many other fandoms, with the commonalities always being that vast majorities in these fandoms are explicitly reacting defensively to being asked to be more mindful of fandom trends revolving around or exacerbating racism, homophobia, transphobia, rape or abuse apologia, ableism, etc....

With the most prolific fucking rallying cry across countless fandoms being "No the fuck we will NOT be doing that," because lolololol.....

Fandom is an inherently progressive space, didn't you hear?

[epiphainie]

i can't with all these "the show is highlighting tommy's jealousy, they're planting seeds that it will cause problems" takes like bffr. he mentioned being envious over the 118's dynamic twice, sure, but in what world (literally how?) would that cause a relationship problem? do yall expect him to be in cahoots with gerrard behind their back and murder buck to take over his life or something?? like even with the hyperbole aside, i genuinely cannot see how they can turn this into relationship drama without going against everything they showed us with tommy so far