#Lower back pain disorder

[unitedhospital]

At United Hospital we have the best ortho surgeon in Jayanagar Bangalore. We offer expert diagnosis & treatment for disorders related to bones, muscles, joints, cartilage, ligaments etc. Our orthosurgeon performs complex surgeries like Hip Replacement, Knee Replacement, Shoulder Surgery, etc.

[strugglinguist]

Question for my hEDS/HSD peeps:

I have a fair bit of lower back pain whenever I stand for any length of time. Does anyone know how to best deal with this? I have been using a cane for over a year to deal with lower body stuff (hypermobile knees, feet, balance issues), but I'm wondering if I should switch to forearm crutches? A back brace? Both?

[coolcoelacanth]

day 3 of my indentured servitude: already getting annoyed at my temporary coworkers and having to stand next to them for 8 hrs a day. theyre both middle aged women, one of which has more attitude than the other. like godddddddd idk why its so normalized for people to be rude for no reason why does nobody have manners. they're not horrible, but its just like little passive aggressive comments all day and im like 😑 girl im not even getting paid and i don't want to be here. im literally so overly polite to them all the time too bc thats just who i am as a person like idk how people can be sassy to people who literally have not wronged them.

[bathask]

自閉症スペクトラムマスキング擬態化カモフラージュで常に過緊張高不安に加え寒の戻り筋肉強張り血行不良で背中の筋肉痛,腰痛気味。大人の発達障害アスペルガー/自閉スペクトラム症の障害福祉A型作業所送迎場所の粒立つ地面撮影。視覚優位ASDあるあるか自然のtexture見つめ1人遊び好き感覚探求stimming

[thebibliosphere]

Every time someone well-meaning suggests I see a chiropractor for my migraines, I have this little moment of "ah, you're new here. You weren't here prior to 2018 when a chiropractor very gently adjusted my neck for my migraines, and I ended up having to get an emergency MRI because the ensuing symptoms were indicative of a brain bleed."

It wasn't a brain bleed. The muscles on the entire right side of my neck "just" tore (Spoiler there is nothing "just" about that kind of traumatic injury. I am still in physical rehab for it), and I couldn't hold my head up, see straight, walk or do any of the things I'd previously taken for granted until several weeks later when the area finally started to heal.

This was before I knew I had Ehlers Danlos, btw. But this is true even for people who don't have a connective tissue disorder: Don't let chiropractors touch your neck.

There are a lot of vital nerves and blood vessels there, and even gentle adjustments of the area can have life-threatening consequences.

I know chiropractic care can be pain relieving--I still get it for my lower back and hips because I work with a chiropractor who knows about Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and sometimes my hips need to be popped back in at short notice, and it's easier to hop walk in and see her than wait for physical therapy--but it is a short-term relief that doesn't actually correct why something is happening.

If you can afford it, physical therapy will likely help more in the long term. I know not everyone can afford it, and that's why chiropractors have such a booming trade in the US, but please, I'm begging you, don't get your neck adjusted.

The spinal cord specialist I saw after my injury told me the number one reason he used to see people for traumatic brain injuries was car wrecks, followed by other major roadside injuries. He said those numbers were still the highest, but after that, the majority of his patients were survivors of chiropractic injury.

Do Not Get Your Neck Adjusted.

It's been over 5 years, and I still can't move my neck properly on my right side. I still struggle to eat and drink because my muscles will randomly seize up. It feels like my skull no longer fits on top of my spine because of the scar tissue. Please. I just want people to be safe.

And if you are a chiropractor reading this and thinking, "Well, I've never injured anyone, skill issue." No. You Have Gotten Lucky. Rethink how you apply your trade. Please, you can still help people while recommending safer options for specific body parts. Learn to do pressure point release and acupressure. Teach patients how to stretch and relax the area safely. Just fucking stop cracking people's necks like pop rock candy.

[prommethium]

Voy a sufrir tanto traduciendo. Estúpido Inglés, si me vieran... les juro que escribo re-bonito en Esp, y no es arrogancia. ¡¡¡JODER QUE HE LEÍDO TANTO Y SE NOTA!!!

Voy a llorar.

Sólo espero que algún día mi estilo en Ing sea aceptable; no leíble, no historia barata de Wxxxxx no la historia pendeja que recomiendan celebridades que "leen," QUIERO QUE SE NOTE QUE HAY QUIENES PODEMOS ESCRIBIR BIEN PARA FANDOMS.

[ad-caelestia]

Crystal Meanings A - Z 🔮 [long post]

Correspondences for commonly used / mentioned crystals and minerals [updated 11/28/24]

A 

Agate (All types): Protection, good luck, balance body/mind/spirit, perceptiveness, strength, inspiration, awaken talents.   Healing lore: Insomnia, teeth/gums, digestive/circulatory/endocrine system, stamina. 

Ajoite: Peace, harmony; heal old emotional wounds, overcome sorrow, anger, and fear; connect with Higher Self, meditation, remove and release negative energies, transformation.   Healing lore: Powerful healing booster. 

Alexandrite: Inspiration, willpower, self-respect, self-esteem, purification, renewal, creativity, imagination, soothing emotions.   Healing lore: Reproductive system, nervous system, endocrine system, liver stimulation, detoxification. 

Amazonite: Truth, honor, communication, integrity, and trust; Enhances intuition, psychic powers, creativity, intellect, and psychic ability. Lessen stress and self-destructive behavior by calming and building self-esteem. Heals emotional disturbances and trauma.   Healing lore: Preventive energy for general health, colic, cardiovascular problems, calcium deficiency, pregnancy, eczema, muscle cramps, nervous system, decreasing tooth decay, osteoporosis. 

Amber: Soothing, calming, cleansing, remove toxins, wisdom, purification, intellect.   Healing lore: Detoxification, addictions, alcoholism, stress and anxiety related problems, poisoning, bone problems, cardiovascular problems, circulation, ears, hearing impairment, endocrine system, fibromyalgia, intestinal/digestive disorders, renal system, genitourinary system, respiratory system, general healing. 

Amethyst: Addiction of all kinds; Stability, peace, calm, balance, courage, and inner strength. Protection against psychic attacks. Stimulates telepathy and psychic abilities; good for meditation and dreamwork, past life work, or to help visualize your life path. Ease pain and grief/bring upon happiness. Beneficial for legal problems and money issues/leads to prosperity and abundance. Protection for travelers.    Healing lore: Addictions, alcoholism, headaches, insomnia, arthritis, pain relief, circulatory system, endocrine system, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, immune system deficiencies, asthma, migraines, phobias, pregnancy/preventing miscarriage, menopause, PMS, and general healing. 

Ametrine: Intellectual stimulation, attunement, optimism, remove negative energy, releasing, dispelling tension, connecting, psychic abilities, remove prejudice, inner peace.   Healing lore: Boost immune system, chronic fatigue syndrome, blood cleanser; repair DNA/RNA, depression. 

Andalusite: “The Seeing Stone;” Clarity, scrying, enhance memory/recall; brings chivalry, moderation, and balance. Helpful for meditation and centering.  Healing lore: Immune disorders, eye problems, deficiencies in calcium, iodine, and oxygen; water retention, edema. 

Angel Aura Quartz: Serenity, love, harmony, spiritual communication, ease emotional distress, mental clarity, self reflection, transformation Healing lore: Immune disorders, illness related to pollution, UV rays, laryngitis, pharyngitis, tonsillitis, thyroid problems, asthma, upper neck and back pain.

Anthophyllite: Releasing, especially when things to be released cause problems or pain, cleansing, aura cleansing, writer’s block.   Healing lore: Colon/lower digestive tract issues, absorption of nutrients. 

Apatite: Intellect, achieving results, healing, insight, humanitarianism, meditation, balance, creativity.   Healing lore: Skin/nails, allergies, arthritis, bone problems, cellular regeneration, calcium absorption, teeth/cartilage, suppress appetite, raises metabolism. 

Apophyllite: Spirituality, mysticism, meditation, astral travel, purification, protection, mindfulness, self-realization.  Healing lore: Stress, anxiety, respiratory system. 

Apple Aura Quartz: Growth, expansion, prosperity, intuition, stability, balance, letting go, severing ties, release, protection from emotional or psychic attacks. Healing lore: Immune system, lymphatic system, spleen.

Aqua Aura Quartz: Psychic skills and awareness, meditation, telepathy, psychic healing, distance spiritual energy healing, communication, awareness of one’s own motivations, success, prosperity, protection from psychic attacks.   Healing Lore: Throat problems, stress-related illness, immune system deficiencies, and thymus gland. 

Aquamarine: Courage, luck, purification, peace, intuition, inner strength, self-expression, balance, relieve fear, calms communication, angel communication, preparedness, protection during travel on water.   Healing lore: throat, speech, chronic fatigue, eyes, eyesight, fluid retention, edema, headaches, intestinal/digestive health. 

Aragonite: Magick charms, increase energy, boost self-confidence, diminish anger, and relieve stress.  Healing lore: Chronic fatigue, hair loss. 

Astrophyllite: Self-acceptance, self-awareness, breaking bad habits, grounding, calming, protection, honesty, fidelity, positivity, astral travel.  Healing lore: Hyperactivity, weight loss, seizures, cellular regeneration. 

Aventurine: Healing, money, mental agility, see potentials, happiness, peace, opening heart, creativity, imagination, motivation, leadership, friendship, gambling luck, good fortune, career success, protection.   Healing lore: Strong healing, vision/eyesight, blood flow, headaches, sleep disorders, circulatory system.

Azeztulite: Very high vibration, angelic, ascension stone, raise vibrations, expand consciousness, light energy, project positive energy, never needs cleansing, remove energy blocks.   Healing lore: Disease of all kinds, cellular regeneration and rejuvenation.

Azurite: “Stone of Heaven”, intuition, dreams, healing, insight, stilling the mind, concentration, self-transformation, meditation, control energy.   Healing lore: Prevent cancer, liver, arthritis, joints, depression, sinuses, and skin problems.

B 

Binghamite: Good fortune; holds the energy of Elves and Fairies.   Healing lore: Regenerate energy flow in the body; cellular regeneration, Theta brain wave patterns, burns, convulsions.

Biotite: Rationality, responsibility, mental clarity.   Healing lore: Disorders caused by disorganized cell patterns, eyesight, shrink growths, bile regulation. 

Bloodstone: Courage, survival, adaptability, release blockages, renewal, strength, victory, intuitive decision making, banishing, and abundance.   Healing lore: Intense healing, emotional trauma, anemia, blood diseases, blood pressure, cardiovascular system, endocrine system, renal system, genitourinary system, physical trauma, post-surgical recovery. 

Blue Lace Agate: Tranquility, grace, higher spiritual planes, calming, gentleness, ease communication, public speaking, perform miracles, protection.   Healing lore: Arthritis, headaches, digestive issues, skin issues especially eczema, growth, and bones. 

Bronzite: Protection, grounding, self-confidence, harmony.  Healing lore: Emotional/mental disorders, muscle tension, iron assimilation  

C 

Calcite: Amplify energy, lessen fear, reduce stress, purification, peace, calming, emotional healing, compassion, memory, awareness, and appreciate of nature.   Healing lore: General healing, physical energy, back pain, physical strength, teeth/bones. 

Carnelian: Creativity, sexuality, manifestation, good luck, precision, analytical capabilities, verbal skill, protection, protection from anger, jealousy and fear, peace, spirituality, reduce sorrow.   Healing lore: Abrasions/scrapes/cuts; tissue/cellular regeneration, rheumatism, kidney stones, other renal problems, gall stones, colds, pollen allergies, neuralgia. 

Celestial (tanzan, tanzine) Aura Quartz: Celestial magic, intuition, psychic abilities, dreamwork, inner vision, spiritual communication, astral travel, overcoming boredom, reclaiming passion. Healing lore: Anxiety, emotional distress, memory, neurological disorders, connective tissue disorders, physical strength.

Celestite (Celestine): Angelic communication, serenity, verbal skills, healing, compassion, calming, growth, intuition, hope, emotional protection, decrease negativity.  Healing lore: Eyesight, mental disorders, detoxification, digestion, cellular disorder. 

Chalcedony: Relieve depression, lessen hostility, kindness, miracles.  Healing lore: Emotional and mental stability, heavy metal toxicity, senility, dementia. 

Champagne Aura Quartz: Cleansing, protection, grounding, resolving conflicts, harmonious communication and relationships, dissolving negativity, transforming negative thinking. Healing lore: Endocrine system, hormones, eases musculoskeletal pain, relieves headaches, purifies environmental pollutants.

Charoite: Spiritual growth, dreams, endurance, courage, emotional healing, inspiration, transformation.   Healing lore: Headaches, hepatic problems, detoxification, muscle cramps, cardiovascular problems, insomnia. 

Chrysocolla: Easing heartache, harmony, stamina, wisdom, peace, love, communication, vitality, inner strength, purifies a place, removes negativity, reduce fear anxiety and guilt.   Healing lore: Asthma, emphysema, TB, pneumonia, muscle cramps, arthritis, childbirth, pregnancy. 

Chrysoprase: Good fortune, prosperity, balances opposing energies, love, grace, compassion, clemency, personal growth, mend broken heart.   Healing lore: Eyesight, immune system, fertility, gout, mental illness, fevers, temperature regulation, reproductive health. 

Citrine: Success, intuition, comfort, creativity, physical energy, wealth, mental awakening, clarity, protection, good fortune / luck, decrease nightmares, remove toxins.   Healing lore: Depression, mood swings, trauma, digestion, sleep disturbances, thyroid, general health, heart, kidney, liver, muscles, strength, endocrine system, circulatory system, tissue regeneration, genitourinary system, immune system, fibromyalgia, addictions, OCD. 

Cobalt Aura Quartz: Contentment, removing blockages, overcoming obstacles, self expression, creativity. Healing lore: Immune support when an illness has become unresponsive to treatment; kidneys, pancreas, liver, spleen; vitamin absorption.

Coral: Diplomacy, wonders of nature, creativity, optimism, understanding of purpose, quieting emotions, visualization.   Healing lore: General healing, blood disorders, circulatory system, renal system, genitourinary system, epilepsy, bones/bone marrow disorders, eyesight, respiratory system. 

Covellite (Covelline): High energy, psychic, intuitive, meditation, past life recall, rebirth, see solutions to problems.   Healing lore: Depression, anxiety, ears, nose, mouth, sinuses. 

Cuprite: Awareness, teaching, spiritual messages, will power, security, confidence, sexuality, morality, past life experiences, heals father relationship.   Healing lore: Thymus gland, cardiovascular system, blood metabolism, muscle tissue, skeletal system, oxygenation, stamina, renal system, menstrual cramps, vertigo, water retention, edema, addictions, alcoholism. 

D 

Danburite: Peace, stress relief, interdimensional travel, love, calm, tranquility, acceptance, positive outlook on life, restful sleep.   Healing Lore: General healing. 

Diamond: Courage, strength, healing, protection, spirituality, mental abilities, love, bond relationships, abundance, amplification, hope.   Healing lore: Genetic disorders, bed-wetting, lower cholesterol, flatulence, constipation, exhaustion, hair loss, lower fever, athlete’s foot, prevent gallstones and kidney stones, gout, dizziness, seasickness, rheumatism, shingles, lumbago, hot flashes, sciatica, corneal inflammations, knee pain, headache, varicose veins, bronchitis, indigestion, paralysis, cramps, prostate, back pain, strains, sunburn, gums, cysts. 

Dolomite: Calm, balance, focus, grounding, optimism, emotional stability, generosity, kindness, alleviate negative emotions.  Healing lore: Cardiovascular system, circulation, oxygenation, reproductive health, hearing impairment, muscle/bone strength, adrenal glands, renal system, insomnia, calcium/magnesium balance. 

Dumortierite (Blue Quartz): Self-reliance, mental clarity, stamina, patience, recognition of potential, understanding, communication of ideas, spiritual development.   Healing lore: Throat, thyroid, parathyroid, detoxification, overstimulation, blood, spleen, hyperactivity, endocrine system. 

E 

Eliat Stone (King Solomon’s Stone): A combination of Chrysocolla, Malachite and Turquoise from Israel near Eilat. Aligns subtle bodies; heals hurt, fear, stress, and loss; stress relief and anti-depressive.  Healing lore: Cardiovascular system, respiratory system, depression, thyroid, bones, fevers, sinuses. 

Emerald: Love, domestic bliss, sensitivity, loyalty, memory, mental capacity, harmony, focus, eliminating negativity, romance, memory, faith, truthfulness.   Healing lore: Remove mental causes of disease and unwellness, general healing. 

Epidote: Transmutation of negative energy, memory, enhancing energy, manifestation, attracts the same energy you put out into the world.  Healing lore: Clear energy blockages/congestion, balance energy, absorption of nutrients, digestion, general healing and recovery, immunity, dissipating tumors, weight loss from modifiable source. 

F 

Fire Agate: Vitality, creativity, sexuality, implementation, safety, calming, attraction, expression, protection.  Healing lore: Circulation, depression, lethargy, concentration, metabolism, digestive system, endocrine system, sexual activity, sleepwalking, epilepsy. 

Fire Opal: Passion, creativity, sexuality, vitality, removal of negative energies, removal of emotional/mental toxins.  Healing lore: Adrenal glands, PMS, menopause, renal system/detoxification. 

Flame Aura Quartz (Rainbow Aura Quartz): Focus, confidence, courage, awareness, spiritual attunement, inner strength. Healing lore: Diabetes, immune system, skeletal system, blood cancers.

Fluorite: Stability, peace and calm, impartial reasoning, responsibility, concentration, spiritual wholeness, psychic development, meditation, mental blocks, aura cleansing, protection from psychic attack, self-love.   Healing lore: Overall health, skeletal system, muscular system. 

Fossil Stone: Accomplishments, business, communication, innovation, breaking old habits, quality, excellency, telepathic.   Healing lore: Paranoia, schizophrenia, abuse recovery. 

Fulgurites: Direct and channel energy, leadership, weather manipulation, communication with extraterrestrials.   Healing lore: Immune system, ears, nose, and throat ailments, eyesight, thymus gland, tumor reduction. 

G 

Galaxite: Protect and cleanse aura, astral travel.   Healing lore: Stress-related illnesses, anxiety disorders, CNS disorders, digestion, metabolic illnesses. 

Garnet: Remove negativity, romantic love, passion, sensuality, intimacy, career success, self-confidence, protection from evil, awareness, commitment, regeneration, order, insight.   Healing lore: General health, cellular regeneration, blood disorders, cardiovascular system, respiratory system. 

Goldstone (glass): Calming, easing emotions, generating energy, deflecting unwanted energy, manifestation, achieving goals.  Healing lore: Circulatory and skeletal system. 

H 

Hematite: Mental attunement, memory, calming, balance, grounding, centering, focusing energy and emotions, peace, inner happiness, transforming negativity.   Healing lore: Temperature regulation, blood disorders, CNS disorders, insomnia, spine alignment, mend broken bones, and anemia. 

Hemimorphite: Empathy, emotional healing, communication, joy, bliss, personal growth, good fortune, self-esteem, psychic visions, enlightenment, balancing feminine/masculine energies, banish regret.  Healing lore: Overall health, blood disorders, ulcers, hormones, PMS, weight loss. 

Herkimer “Diamond” (Herkimer “Diamond” Quartz): Attunement, Mind/Body/Spirit Balance, manifestation, power, inner vision, purification.   Healing lore: Pain relief, metabolic disorders, cellular disorders, physical exhaustion, immunity, eyesight. 

Howlite: Awareness, calm, emotional expression, observation, patience, eliminating negativity, selfishness, creativity.   Healing lore: Bones/teeth, calcium levels, leg cramps. 

I 

Infinite Stone: Soothing, calming, healing, protection, revitalization, regeneration.   Healing lore: Strong healing, emotional/mental stress relief, pain relief, fatigue, joint pain, connective tissue damage, cellular regeneration, restful sleep. 

Iolite (Water Sapphire): Intuition, spiritual growth, balance, releasing discord, awakening to inner knowledge, visions.   Healing lore: Strong healing, addictions, sobriety, detoxification, sore throat, varicose veins, blisters. 

J 

Jade: Fidelity, dreams, realization of potential, peace, accord, resourcefulness, accomplishment, emotional balance, protection.   Healing lore: Cardiovascular system, renal system, general illness. 

Jasper (All Types): Protection, nurturing, joy, awareness, relaxation, tranquility, wholeness, astral travel, Yin/Yang.   Healing lore: Hepatic system, digestive system, gallbladder. 

Jet (Black Amber): Grief, mourning, protection from evil negativity and psychic attacks, banishing, financial safety, depression, sympathy.   Healing lore: Epilepsy, migraines, stomach pain, colds, glandular problems, lymphatic problems. 

K 

Kansas Pop Rocks: Release blockages, energy alignment.   Healing lore: Arthritis, back pain, general healing, cellular regeneration, adrenal glands, chronic fatigue. 

Kunzite: Understanding, communication, heals “broken heart”, stress, anger, love, peace, harmony, removing obstacles.   Healing lore: Strengthen circulatory system, respiratory disorders. 

Kyanite: Energy alignment, channeling energy, altered states, dream recall, visualization, loyalty, honesty, tranquility, diminish anger, ease confusion, and remove energy blockages.   Healing lore: General healing, cardiovascular system, throat, eyes. 

L 

Labradorite (Spectrolite): Alignment, success, dreams, reduce stress and anxiety, spiritual growth and awareness, transformation, mental clarity, peace, progression, psychic development, discernment, protection, intuition, creativity, wisdom. Healing lore: Stress related illness, sensitivity to cold, anxiety disorders, gout, colds, rheumatic fever, blood pressure regulation. 

Lapis Lazuli: Manifestation, wisdom, truthfulness, openness, communication, inner power, intuition, spiritual evolution, virility, self-confidence, objectivity, dreams, purity, serenity, guardian spirits, love & fidelity within marriage, protection.   Healing lore: Sinus ailments, insomnia, depression, recurring fevers, vision, hearing impairment, throat, lungs, immune system. 

Larimar: Freedom, peace, energy.   Healing lore: Throat, upper respiratory system, schizophrenia. 

Lavender Aura Quartz: Meditation, spiritual growth, tranquility, peace, harmony, relaxation, restful sleep. Healing lore: Insomnia, other sleep disorders, nightmares, overall health and wellbeing.

Lepidolite: Hope, stress reduction, birth, peace, acceptance, spirituality, physical strength, luck, protection, emotional balance.   Healing lore: Bipolar disorder, stress, anxiety, depression, manic-depression, despondency, PTSD, anger, traumas, panic attacks, addictions, glands, immune system, skin, nails, hair, DNA, enzyme balance, alcoholism recovery, pregnancy/childbirth, general healing. 

M 

Magnesite: Meditation, visualization, relaxation, calm, harmony, self-love, recognizing unconscious thoughts,   Healing lore: Detoxification, magnesium absorption, muscle cramps, headaches, clotting disorders, heart disease, regulation of body temperature. 

Malachite: Transformation, insight, spiritual evolution, protection during pregnancy and childbirth, clarifying emotions, fidelity, loyalty, practicality.   Healing lore: Radiation sickness, asthma, arthritis, tumors. 

Marble: Charitable actions, original thinking, alleviation of sorrow, universal love, ancient wisdom, self-control.   Healing lore: Postpartum depression, bones/teeth. 

Merlinite: Luck, magic power, subconscious thought, clear psychic visions, past life recall, cleansing, wisdom, balance.  Healing lore: Skeletal system, improves blood flow, physical growth, lymphatic system, respiratory system. 

Mica: Recognize flaws with love, improve visions, mystical clarity, eliminate negative personality traits, enhance flexibility in all realms, personal growth, lessen anger and nervous energy.   Healing lore: Purposeful fasting, insomnia, mononucleosis symptoms, dehydration. 

Milky Quartz (Snow Quartz): Good fortune, calming, soothing, meditation, looking within, purification.  Healing lore: Immune system health. 

Moldavite: Enhance inner journeys, channeling, cosmic consciousness, crystal consciousness, extraterrestrial and interdimensional contact, transformation, raise vibrational level.   Healing lore: All healing, hair loss, fertility issues, promotes new cell growth. 

Molybdenum: Reliability, stress relief, communication, balance.   Healing lore: All types of healing, stress-related illness. 

Moonstone: Introspection, reflection, beginnings, insight, tenderness, harmony, peace, travel, intuition, psychic abilities, protection (especially during pregnancy, childbirth, travel at sea), substitute for pearl in crystal healing.   Healing lore: Pituitary gland, digestive system, obesity, water retention, edema, hormonal problems, menstrual problems. 

Morganite: Angel stone, heart stone, bring love or rekindle old love, communication with angels, compassion, empathy, self-control, patience, ease separation pain.   Healing lore: Emphysema, tuberculosis, cardiovascular disease, respiratory problems, throat problems. 

Mother of Pearl: Mental clarity, intuition, sensitivity, imagination, adaptability, cooperation, psychic, protection of children, purify environment.   Healing lore: High blood pressure, dizziness, vision, cataracts, wound healing. 

N 

Natrolite: Spiritual growth, psychic abilities such as telepathy, clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, and automatic writing, absorbs toxic energy.  Healing lore: CNS disorders, water retention, edema. 

Nebula Stone: Memory, removes fear, let go of the old, grounding, vitality, “cosmic window.”   Healing lore: Vitality, detoxification, emotional balance. 

Nuumite (Nuumit): Protection from negative energy, shielding, remove energy blockages, clear aura, synthesizes psychic wisdom and intellect.   Healing Lore: General healing, infections, purifying blood, kidneys, insulin production regulation, eyesight, and CNS disorders. 

O 

Obsidian: Clarity, deflecting negativity, protection, healing, grounding.   Healing lore: Buried emotions causing illness, stomach, intestines, muscle tissue, bacterial infections, and viral infections. 

Ocean Jasper: Transmutation of negative energy, stress relief, relaxation, physical/emotional healing, tranquility, clear thinking.  Healing lore: Internal organs (including reproductive system), PMS, teeth/gums, tumors, skin conditions, digestive and lymphatic system. 

Onyx: Self-control, decision making, conquer challenges, intuition, recognition of personal strengths, grounding, and protection.   Healing lore: Stamina, childbirth, wound healing. 

Opal: Creativity, inspiration, hope, spontaneity, relationships, memory, happy dreams, changes.   Healing lore: Eyesight, Parkinson’s disease, depression. 

P 

Pearl: Purity, faith, charity, innocence, integrity, focus, wisdom, spirituality, sincerity.   Healing lore: Fertility, childbirth, digestion, muscular system. 

Peridot: Warmth, friendliness, understanding, openness in love and relationships, regulation of cycles, ESP, find what is lost, protective shield.  Healing lore: High healing energy, slow aging, ulcers, digestion problems. 

Phenacite (Phenakite): Extremely high energy, third eye, clear energy centers, meditation, intuition.   Healing lore: Spine, throat, hypothalamus, amygdala, carotid arteries, and jugular veins. 

Phlogopite (Phlogopit): Speed evolution, flexible perception, adaptation, channeling, remove spiritual blocks.   Healing lore: relieve mental anguish, back pain, muscle relaxation, dental health, and mononucleosis symptoms. 

Pietersite (Tempest stone): Relaxation, relieves worries, courage, improves memory, tenacity, work with angels, astral travel, and release deep emotions calmly.   Healing lore: Body fluid balance, nutrition, gastrointestinal functions, endocrine glands, hormones, PMS, menopause. 

Psilomelane (Crown of Silver): Gazing, scrying, astral travel.  Healing lore: Correct behaviors/emotions that are not useful/harmful, lungs, pneumonia, diabetes. 

Pyrite (aka Fool’s Gold, Healer’s Gold): Defense, prevention, protection from negativity, leadership, psychic abilities, memory, shields from physical danger.   Healing lore: Physical wholeness, lungs, inflammations, stamina, digestion, circulation. 

Q 

Quantum Quattro Silica: Healing, grief, depression, trauma, energy alignment.   Healing lore: General healing, immune system. 

Quartz (Crystal Quartz, Rock Crystal): Power stone, intensify energy, spiritual development, healing, raising consciousness, protection.   Healing lore: Pain, arthritis, bone injuries, depression, fibromyalgia, digestion, mental and physical energy, stamina, physical strength. 

R 

Rhodochrosite (Rhodocrosite): Love, emotional balance,“Stone of Love and Balance”, cleansing, renewal, relaxation, expansion of consciousness.   Healing lore: Digestion, kidneys, thyroid, pulse rate. 

Rhodonite: Grace, elegance, peace, generosity, attention to details, calming, unconditional love, service to mankind.   Healing lore: Emphysema, joint inflammation, light sensitivity, strep throat, cardiovascular disorders. 

Rainforest Jasper (Rhyolite): Change, variety, progress, creativity, transcending barriers, Yin/Yang.   Healing lore: Hepatic cleansing, throat, general healing. 

Richterite: Calm, relaxation, strength, anxiety, balancing action and reaction, deeper meditation, internal communication, higher states of awareness.   Healing lore: PTSD, circulation, glandular problems especially thyroid, respiratory problems, parasites, fevers, typhoid. 

Rose Aura Quartz: Joy, attraction, self-love, release, kindness, consideration, tranquility, peace. Healing lore: Emotional healing, healing from past trauma, protection from radiation and static energy, anger issues, self esteem.

Rose Quartz: Love of all kinds including self-love, protection during pregnancy and childbirth, peace, happiness, gentleness.   Healing lore: Emotional wounds, cardiovascular system, circulatory system, fertility, headaches, renal disease, migraines, sexual dysfunction, sinus problems, throat problems, depression, addictions, ear aches, slows signs of aging in general, reduces wrinkles, spleen problems, fibromyalgia, and reaching one’s ideal weight/weight loss. 

Ruby: Integrity, generosity, nurturing, spiritual wisdom, attainment of values, economic stability and prosperity, protection from distress, home and contents protection.   Healing lore: Emotional problems, fever, constrictions in circulatory system, cardiovascular system, blood flow, muscular system, throat, parathyroid glands, CNS. 

Ruby Aura Quartz: Energy, strength, power, courage, passion, vitality, focus, transmute negativity, protection against aggression. Healing lore: Sciatica, lower back problems, endocrine system, degenerative disc disease.

Ruby in Zoisite: Energy amplification, psychic power.   Healing lore: Cardiovascular disorders, physical vitality. 

S 

Salt (Halite, Sea Salt, Volcanic, Himalayan, and others): Protection in general, protection from evil, protection of the home, purification, dispelling negativity, magical and traditional rituals, and clairvoyance. Release attachments, grounding and centering, abundance and a rich home life.   Healing lore: Blood disorders, hypotension (low blood pressure), diarrhea, physical strength, intestines, and to stimulate the meridians. 

Sapphire: Joy, peace, beauty, creative expression, meditation, intuition, prosperity, fulfillment of dreams, mental clarity.   Healing lore: Relieve depression, lower fevers; reduce inflammation, burns, hearing impairment. 

Sardonyx: Optimism, confidence, strength, courage, creativity, mental clarity, grounding, integrity, absorbing information, will-power.  Healing lore: Respiratory system, allergies, immune system, water retention, edema, skeletal health, depression, anxiety.  

Schorl (Black Tourmaline): Ground excess energy, purifying, transform negative energy, protection, protection from black magick and the evil eye, deflect radiation from electronics, dispel fear.   Healing lore: Obsessions, neuroses, emotional stability, immune system, heart disease, arthritis, brain tumors, and gout. 

Scolecite: Manifestation, improve relationships, inner peace.   Healing lore: Circulation, blood clotting, clogged arteries, bruises, mental imbalances, eyesight, respiratory system, intestine, misaligned spine, and removing parasites. 

Selenite: Mental clarity, mental flexibility, decision-making, angelic guidance, access past lives, good business practices, removes energy blocks, love, clear and charge other stones.   Healing lore: To remove blockages for healing, skeletal system, seizures, epilepsy. 

Seraphinite: Regeneration, self-healing, angelic connection, love, personal relationships, conflict resolution, peace, harmony, understanding.  Healing lore: Respiratory/cardiovascular system, systemic illnesses, improves blood flow, hepatic/renal detoxification, release of tension in the neck and back. 

Serpentine (aka “New Jade” and other trade names): Attract love and money, emotional cleansing, psychic powers, protection vs snakebite, poison and venom, meditation, restore self-confidence.   Healing lore: Parasitic infections, snakebite, venom and other poisons, cellular regeneration, balance hormones, milk production in those who are nursing. 

Shungite: Purification, protection, healing, grounding, calming, relaxing.  Healing lore: “Cure-all:” benefits all body systems. 

Silver: Soul mirror, intuition, psychic, improve speech, eloquence, enhance and store energies of gemstones, draw out negative energies, moon energies, feminine/yin energy.   Healing lore: Hepatitis, detoxification, headache, rheumatic pain, nausea, gastritis, obesity, diabetes, increase assimilation of vitamins A and E. 

Smithsonite: Stress relief, relaxation, soothing, emotional healing, rebirth, love, guidance, protection.  Healing lore: Anxiety, depression, panic attacks, immunity, skin problems, respiratory/reproductive/endocrine/digestive issues, addiction. 

Smoky Quartz: Dissolving emotional blockage, clearing the mind, cooperation, grounding and centering, banishing, personal pride, joy in living, attentiveness to the moment, protection, and good luck.   Healing lore: Renal system, digestion, pancreas, reproductive organs, menstrual cramps, fertility issues, water retention, edema. 

Snowflake Obsidian: Balance, serenity, protection, gently brings issues to the surface.   Healing lore: Veins, skeleton, and smooth skin. 

Sodalite: Wisdom, logic, calmness, healing, stress reduction, companionship, self-esteem, work in groups, heal communication breeches, truth, intelligence, knowledge, learning.   Healing lore: Glands, digestive system, insomnia, calcium deficiency, head colds. 

Sugilite: Love, emotional healing, spiritual growth, wisdom, psychic advancement, calmness, peace of mind, dispelling negative energy, protection.  Healing lore: CNS disorders, mental disorders, learning disabilities, inflammation, headaches, pain relief. 

Sunset Aura Quartz: New beginnings, creativity, joy, confidence, trust. Healing lore: General health and wellbeing; emotional distress and heartbreak.

Sunshine Aura Quartz: Recovering from past trauma, optimism, joy, acceptance, energy, expansion. Healing lore: Digestive issues, matters of the liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas, and neurological system; aids in vitamin absorption.

Sunstone: “Leadership Stone;” Alleviating fears & phobias, energizing, cleansing, strength, decrease stress and depression, good luck, abundance, negative energy and psychic attacks turn to positive energies, personal power, life force energy, animal guides, spirit guides.   Healing lore: General health, physical energy, sexual dysfunction, increases sexual energy. 

T 

Tangerine Aura Quartz: Energy, creativity, catalyst, manifestation, joy, uplifting. Healing lore: Problems with intimacy, sexual matters, fatigue, brain fog.

Tanzanite: “Workaholic’s Stone;” Communication, intuition, protection, symmetry, decision-making, spirituality, slow down and take it easy, relieve stress, composure, harmony, poise.   Healing lore: Stress-related illness, high blood pressure. 

Tektite: Wisdom, knowledge, withstand mental or emotional “stumbling,” overcome challenges with mental processes, extraterrestrial communication, astral travel, lucid dreaming, strengthening one’s energy field. 

Thulite: Emotional healing. Healing lore: Central nervous system; coordination, concentration, dexterity. 

Tiger’s Eye: Self-discipline, practicality, protection, grounding, peace, clarity, intelligence, intuition & psychic powers, new experiences, financial stability, calmness, releasing inhibitions, integrity, willpower, prosperity, personal power.  Healing lore: Heal wounds/bruises, digestion, stomach problems, eyesight, night vision, pain relief, alcoholism, reproductive system. 

Tiger Iron (Mugglestone): Artistic abilities, creative projects, balance, beauty, endurance, motivation, vitality.   Healing lore: Low energy, tiredness, muscular system, white/red blood cell balance, natural steroids in the body, chronic fatigue. 

Topaz: True love, success, manifestation, understanding of interrelationships, expression of ideas, trust, health, personal expansion and growth, creativity, individuality, hope, spiritual peace.   Healing lore: Gout, blood disorders, hemorrhages, poor appetite, tuberculosis, reverses aging, tissue regeneration, endocrine system. 

Tsavorite: Manifestation, destiny, prosperity, spiritual world, benevolence.   Healing lore: Cell growth, quick healing, cardiovascular problems, disorders of the five senses. 

Tourmaline: Energizing, soul-searching, releasing, banishing, flexibility, happiness, objectivity, serenity, dispel negativity, ease grief, calm nerves, charisma, compassion, tolerance, psychic channeling, protection, raises vibrations.   Healing lore: Endocrine system, reproductive system, cancer, genetic disorders, peaceful sleep. 

Turquoise: Spiritual attunement, cleansing, communication, healing, protection, valor, soothing, peace of mind, guidance through the unknown, romantic spontaneity.   Healing lore: “Master Healing Stone”, prevents illness, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, all health issues in general. 

U 

Ulexite: Clairvoyance, balance, actualization, telepathy, channeling, creativity, inspiration, imagination.   Healing lore: Eyesight, pineal gland, balance, nervous system. 

Unakite: Balance, rebirth, foresight, emotional balance, release blockages.   Healing lore: Reproductive system, healthy pregnancy, development of unborn child. 

V 

Variscite: “True worry stone;” eases fear, anxiety, tension, worry, impatience, stress and depression. Provides inner strength and self-reliance. Psychic perceptions, meditation, intuition.  Healing lore: Cell/tissue strength, hematological issues, nervous system, renal system, musculoskeletal system, reproductive system, impotence. 

Vauxite: Peace, relaxation, calm, mental clarity, memory recall, meditation, trance, easing nightmares,   Healing lore: Nutrition, renal system, fevers. 

Verdite: Growth, harmony, past lives, joy, enthusiasm, calming. Healing lore: Eases vertigo and dizziness.

Violet Flame Opal: Spiritual awareness, clairvoyance, clairsentience, intuition. 

W 

Wavellite: Clarity, enhanced decision making, logical thinking, self-acceptance, calms anger, unveiling suppressed emotions.  Healing lore: Improves blood flow, stabilizes blood counts, dermatitis. 

Wulfenite: Transfer energy, white magic, emotional blocks.   Healing lore: Reproductive system, energizing and revitalizing the body systems. 

Z 

Zoisite: Trust in the universe, release fears, dispels laziness.   Healing lore: Vitality, adrenal glands, reproductive organs, and strengthening the heart. 

© 2024 ad-caelestia

[the-maddened-hatter]

Alright so I pretty much said all of this verbatim on a reblog of someone else's post, but I wanted to put it here on my blog too.

As I've mentioned before, I would *very* much like to see Peri canonically having a disability that causes him to use his wand/cane and not just have it be an accessory, and so I analyzed the episodes he's in that I've been able to see so far and came up with a few observations:

As much as I'd be unopposed to seeing it portrayed, leg issues don't really seem like a major deal to fairies in general given as Cosmo misplaced his for most of an episode and a pair of sticks were a good enough replacement for him to have fun at the arcade in human form (without even drawing human attention)

And Peri can apparently use his powers as listed above without his cane since he doesn't always immediately have it on his person (especially since Dev & Hazel took his cane in Lost in Fairy World and he didn't have any power or mobility problems)

But!

I *could* easily see him having some kind of magical fatigue issue or magical equivalent of hypotonia or balance disorder, since he's shown to be

very tired after a morning spent magically creating cupcakes (a probably small but very repetitive task that leaves him running low on energy)

When his stationary float is disrupted he remains seated instead of floating back up again

3. A minor contact/startle reflex is enough to disrupt his hover and cause him to immediately fall pretty hard if not very far

4. speaking of distance, he is shown to sometimes float a bit lower than his parents, which, while not consistent and likely just an animation choice, could tie in with the other points to support the diagnosis theory

However, pain may admittedly be more of a factor than the above images suggest,

he may not just be tired from shape shifting like I'd thought since right before that he was walking (albeit in horse form) and afterwards (low) cloud float is apparently easier and faster for him than just quickly trotting past his parents

He also didn't really seem to be having too much of a problem at all before he hit the ground

Where it goes to a definitely tired and possibly more pained look.

Maybe he didn't want to tell Dev that it was painful either out of pride or because he didn't want to potentially upset him and just went with "tired" because that was what he assumed. It'd be interesting to see if it happens again in a different form.

Personally I think it'd be cool to see both and have it be a chronic condition (directly magical or otherwise) that he already had before the series began (diagnosed or not).

If he's the first fairy kid born in a long time he probably would have been monitored very closely, but it may have taken a while for doctors to notice a problem since there was little reference for comparison and may have even caused some potentially serious problems that gave Comso & Wanda a bad scare, which could tie in pretty well with their developing a high amount of over protectiveness of him, and that in turn leading him to try and behave too far in the other direction (not seeking help when he really does need it, pushing himself way too hard and suffering the fallout which he then tries to hide, ect)

If he's undiagnosed but having the problems it could be interesting to see sort of an inversion of the "character must learn to accept their disability" storyline wherein he's more connecting certain events & symptoms and we get to see him adapting to accommodations and letting himself try different approaches moreso than to having new symptoms (though we as the audience may see these symptoms more or behaviors contextualized as symptoms where they weren't necessarily before).

Idk either way I just think it would be cool (and I've probably put away more analysis into this than will ever pay off lol)

also to everyone who draws him as a disabled mobility device user: ILY please draw more of it it feeds my soul

[cripple-woe]

Back to post again. Please reblog this if you’re like. Disabled and do, might, are planning to ever have sex. Or just for educational reasons reblog it.

It’s time for:

DISABLED SEX EDUCATION.

So! Let’s get right into it.

We all know that we have a right to know and understand our bodies and how we can have safe, consenting, and pleasant sex. Most schools don’t teach disabled inclusive sex education!

Part One: Sex Toys

By and large, a bafflingly inaccessible market. But still, here’s what you can do.

For limited mobility and dexterity with hands and the like, larger controllers and wireless controllers for toys are good to look into.

If you have movement disorders, a toy that doesn’t need to be moved to stimulate can be helpful.

Also, a pretty universal one is a nice sexy vibrating pillow that you hump. It’s not talked about often because most abled people don’t want that toy when there are more penetrative or intense toys out there, but for cripples like us, it can be very helpful to know it exists, and it’s a good toy.

Part Two: Partner Communication

Whether this partner is your lifetime lover or just a one-night-stand, you need to be communicating properly about your needs and limits, just like abled people, but MORE. Communicate a safe word for if you feel in too much pain, communicate how your disabilities may affect sex with this partner if they aren’t aware, and communicate on the type and level of aftercare you may need. I know for a fact that I would need my partner to take me into the bathroom to pee after sex because I can’t do it of my own accord after that (also, speaking of, PEE AFTER SEX.)

No matter how small it is, communicate. “I’d be more comfortable if I had some pillows under my stomach/back/hips in this position.” “Can we switch positions, this is slightly painful on my hips/back/shoulders.” “I don’t like being pinned like this, because it’s a position I can’t escape from when I want to/it’s causing pressure on my joints/whatever else.”

Partner communication is a big deal with disabled sex and requires a decent level of trust. I also highly recommend that if you have access, being frank with your carers and occupational therapists for instance, will help you a lot with asking for advice in a safe way.

Part Three: Positioning

Ooh, sexy pose time!

From what I can find, these seem to be the most widely accessible poses for sex.

Modified Missionary.

The limited mobility partner sits on the edge of the bed, the other partner stands facing them, and then can lift their partners legs up so their ankles are on their shoulders. If the standing partner is too tall for this to be comfortable, you can place a chair behind them and have the sitting partner put their ankles there (add a blanket over the back of the chair for comfort on their ankles!)

This position is best used when only one person has a mobility issue. It’s also good for if one or both partners are obese, or if a partner is pregnant.

Facing position.

Aka: face to face. Person one sits in a chair, on the edge of the bed, or even in their wheelchair with arm rests removed if your chair can do that and you want to bang in your chair. Their partner sits on their lap and straddles them. Partner on top braces their feet on a solid surface to be able to move their hips and thrust, and the bottom partner can help by grabbing their partner by the backside and lifting/bouncing.

This position is good for two partners with limited mobility, and people who suffer with fatigue.

Intimate Sitting.

Basically the same as above but both partners are fully on the bed. The partner near the headboard can benefit from being held up with pillows, and then they stretch out their legs. The other partner straddles them, feet on the bed, and bends their knees to lower them down.

This is another position for a limited mobility and unlimited mobility couple, especially those looking for face to face intimacy.

Sexy Spooning.

Get into a spooning cuddle position and get freaky.

This is great for people with lower back pain, chronic pain, and arthritis.

Modified Doggystyle Chair.

Limited mobility person sits in a chair or wheelchair near the edge of the bed, their partner sits in their lap and leans forward to brace themselves on the edge of the bed with their upper body and arms.

Great for hip pain sufferers and of course those with mobility issues, though be aware that the person on the edge of the bed is taking more physical exertion.

Modified Doggystyle Bed.

Or the floor, if that’s more comfortable. Put some pillows on the bed/floor to support the bottom partner, and then the top partner drapes over them chest to back.

If you require more stability as the bottom partner this is for you.

69 Flipped.

One person laid on their side in the spooning position, and the other lays facing them in the same way, but with their head at the opposite end.

This is good for arthritis, or people who have weak hips or hips prone to muscle spasms. Also, unlike media might have you believe, 69 doesn’t have to be oral-oral. You can use toys, your hands, whatever, as long as you and your partner are having fun.

Final notes.

Don’t be afraid to explore each others bodies. Touch, massage, stroke each other and see how you feel. Places like necks, inner thighs, ears and sides can all be turn-on zones due to their extra sensitivity. Just… explore. Don’t try to take it too seriously either, sex is sexy, sure, but it’s also funny and sometimes you make a weird noise (verbally or otherwise!) and you can’t keep fucking for all the giggles you’re having.

Have fun, do it safely, remember that sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener, and PEE AFTER SEX FOR GODS SAKE.

[syluslnd]

Hello! I am one of the silent readers I truly adore your writing<3!! I just wanted to ask if you could write about the reader and sylus, reader dealing with eating disorder/,body dysphoria,and just has trouble taking care of themselves, snapping once or twice hurt/comfort, heavy comfort,mentions of psyhical issues,consistent pain and cold as well as Sylus gaining readers trust about this specific thing a bit by bit,and how he would act?? You don't have to take this request if it's too much/too dark,it's just something I have been struggling with!!

when your ed consumes your life but sylus sticks with you through it all

tags-angst with eventual comfort,mentions of calories,tw ed

word count 3.9k

(Note-I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this,I think every person struggling with an ED is worthy of recovery,if you feel like you need to vent you can always reach out to me love xx)

────୨ৎ────

The restaurant is lavish, the kind of place where every meal comes with an air of sophistication. Sylus is calm as always, seated across from you, his dark eyes scanning the menu with ease. You, however, are tense, heart pounding in your chest. Your hands feel colder than usual as you grip the menu, trying to decipher the options.

No calories listed. Panic flickers in your mind, twisting your stomach. How are you supposed to know what to pick? What if it’s too much? What if you can’t control yourself?

You glance around, catching sight of a girl a few tables over. She’s effortlessly thin, her figure draped perfectly in a sleek black dress. You hate how your mind jumps to her. Look at her arms, you think bitterly. She probably doesn’t even have to try. She’s not bloated. She’s not panicking about what she eats.

You lower your eyes, feeling that familiar rush of shame for even thinking that way, but it doesn’t stop the thoughts. The woman across the restaurant is laughing at something her date said, her hair bouncing as she moves, carefree. You wish you could be like that, but every thought is consumed by numbers. How many calories. How much you can eat without spiraling into guilt. Even your skin feels wrong—too thick , too suffocating. You wrap your arms around yourself, feeling the chill that never really goes away.

Sylus clears his throat softly, his gaze flicking up from the menu. “You decide yet?” His tone is light, relaxed, but his words make your chest tighten.

You shift in your seat, staring at the options, willing yourself to choose something, anything that won’t make you feel sick with guilt later. But every meal feels like a minefield. You glance up at him, trying to hide the unease you know must be showing on your face.

“I’m still looking” you mumble, your voice tight. You hate how strained you sound.

Sylus leans back slightly, his brow arching ever so slightly, though his expression stays calm. “Take your time” he says, still polite, though there’s a subtle suggestion in his voice, like he’s trying to gently push you to make a decision.

Something snaps inside you. “well maybe if you didn’t take me to such an unhealthy restaurant I wouldn’t be struggling with what to choose” The words come out harsher than you intended, the panic in your chest twisting into frustration. You can see the surprise in his eyes but he stays composed, watching you carefully, trying to understand.

You instantly regret it, swallowing down the lump in your throat. He didn’t mean anything by it. You know that. It’s not his fault. But now your chest feels too tight, and the pressure of being here, in this fancy restaurant with all these indulgent options, is overwhelming. You’re suffocating in your own thoughts.

Sylus remains calm, though you can see the flicker of concern behind his steady gaze. “I just thought you’d like it sweetie” he says quietly, his voice smooth, without a hint of anger. “You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to.”

His words are kind but they only deepen the pit forming in your stomach. You force a small, apologetic smile, trying to smooth things over. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it” you murmur, your fingers fiddling with the napkin in your lap.

He nods, and though the moment is awkward, he doesn’t push further, allowing you the space to collect yourself. When the waiter comes by, you order the only thing that feels remotely safe: a Caesar salad, something you know you can control. No dressing, of course and you only plan on picking at it anyway.

When the food arrives, Sylus digs into his meal with an almost graceful ease, cutting his steak neatly, chewing slowly. You watch him for a moment, your mind spinning. How can he just eat like that, so casually, so… politely? Every bite he takes is deliberate, calm. You feel so out of place, like you’re being suffocated by your own fears.

Your salad sits untouched for a while before you finally pick up your fork. The chicken on top looks perfectly cooked but you can’t bring yourself to touch it. Too many calories. Instead, you nibble at the lettuce and croutons, calculating the numbers in your head.

The lettuce is probably only 60 calories. The croutons… maybe 130? You do the math over and over, feeling a mix of disgust and guilt wash over you for even eating that much. It feels like too much. Too indulgent.

Across the table, Sylus glances at your plate, his expression unreadable. “Not hungry?” he asks and his voice is soft, like he’s trying to avoid making you uncomfortable.

You force a smile, pushing the food around your plate. “Just… not much of an appetite today” you lie, hoping he doesn’t press further. But inside, all you can think about is how much you’ve already eaten, how you’ll need to make up for it later. The guilt gnaws at you, making you feel sick.

Sylus doesn’t push but you can feel his eyes on you, watching. It’s like he knows something’s off but doesn’t quite know how to bring it up and as the night drags on, all you can think about is how you’re failing. How every bite feels like a battle you can’t win.

The guilt from last night had been gnawing at you since the moment you woke up. Your mind was set: no food today. No exceptions. The plan felt necessary, like a way to atone for the indulgence you let yourself have. The 60 calories of lettuce, the 130 for the croutons… You couldn’t shake the disgust, the shame for what you ate. Every time you replayed the night in your head, you felt like you’d lost control.

You wrapped yourself tighter in a blanket, your body feeling colder than usual, though it wasn’t even winter yet. The headache from your lack of calories was already starting to throb, but you could deal with that. It was better than the guilt.

Sylus had said he was busy today, so you weren’t expecting any visitors. The day stretched ahead, just you and your plan to fast. But as the afternoon rolled in, the sound of the doorbell echoed through your place. Confused, you hesitated before answering. You weren’t in the mood for visitors. Not today.

Opening the door, you froze in shock. There stood Sylus, dressed in his usual dark, tailored clothes, holding a bag. Your heart sank when you realized what was inside: your favorite candies, the kind that would wreck your fast in an instant. Your pulse quickened, panic swirling in your chest.

“Hey kitten” Sylus greeted, his voice casual but there was an undercurrent of warmth. He gave you a small smile, one that would’ve made you melt on any other day. “Thought I’d surprise you.”

You stared at him, feeling your blood boil. How could he? you thought, anger bubbling up out of nowhere. He didn’t even tell you he was coming over, and worse, he brought food. The sweets you loved, the ones you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist. It felt like he was sabotaging you, like he didn’t understand how hard you were trying to control yourself.

Your fists clenched at your sides, and before you could stop yourself, the words snapped out. “Why are you here?” Your voice was sharper than you intended, and Sylus’s brow furrowed, his eyes darkening just slightly at your tone.

“What do you mean sweetie ?” he asked, his voice calm but with that underlying tension. “I brought you these.” He gestured to the bag of candies, the smile still there but faltering as he noticed the shift in your demeanor. “You love these, remember?”

The sight of the bag sent a wave of panic through you. I can’t eat that, your mind screamed. I’ll get fat. I’ll lose control.

Anger surged again but it was tangled with guilt. How could he be so thoughtless? How could he show up with this when you were trying so hard to fast, to make up for the mistakes of yesterday? Your head pounded, the cold feeling in your body clashing with the heat of frustration.

“I can’t” you snapped, taking a step back, shaking your head. “You should go.” The words tumbled out before you could stop them. You saw the confusion flicker across his face, followed by a hint of worry.

“What’s going on?” Sylus asked, his voice low, probing, as he stepped forward instead of retreating like you’d demanded. “Why are you pushing me away?” He didn’t raise his voice but the way he said it made your heart clench. He wasn’t one to back down easily, especially not when something was wrong and you knew he could see something was wrong.

“I’m busy, Sylus” you tried to deflect, feeling the walls you were putting up starting to crack. You wanted him to leave but you didn’t. It was confusing, suffocating. You couldn’t handle this. You couldn’t handle him here, with that bag of temptation, ready to ruin everything. You felt so guilty for snapping at him but how could you explain? How could you tell him he was going to make you fat if he kept bringing over food like this?

Sylus’s eyes narrowed just slightly, but his voice remained calm. “Busy with what?” He glanced behind you, then back at your face, studying you, searching for something you weren’t ready to admit. “You haven’t been answering my calls. Now you want me to leave?”

You bit your lip, hating how cornered you felt. The panic was rising again, faster this time, swirling with guilt and anger and all you could think about was how out of control you felt. How could he not see that?

“Just go” you whispered, your voice breaking. The words felt heavy, like they cost you something just to say them. You couldn’t meet his gaze, not with the way he was looking at you, with those dark eyes that always seemed to see more than you wanted to show.

There was a long pause, the air thick with tension. Sylus didn’t move. He didn’t just leave, as much as you’d wanted him to. Instead, he stood there, quiet, and you could feel the weight of his presence pressing in on you. It was suffocating and yet… part of you didn’t want him to go.

After a beat, Sylus sighed, and for a moment, the tension in his expression softened. “You don’t have to talk to me right now” he said slowly, choosing his words carefully, his voice softer than before. “But I’m not leaving because you’re pushing me away.”

That made your chest tighten with guilt and you cursed yourself internally. He wasn’t mad but he was concerned, and that made it worse. You didn’t know how to explain. How could you tell him that the sight of that bag in his hand sent you into a spiral of panic, of guilt? That the one thing you feared more than anything was losing control?

“I just… I need space” you said quietly, though the words felt like a lie. You didn’t know what you needed. Sylus watched you for a long moment and finally, he nodded. But before he turned to leave, he set the bag of sweets down on the table by the door.

“If you need me, you know where to find me” he said, his voice steady, though there was something softer in his tone and with that, he walked away, leaving you standing there with the heavy guilt hanging in the air. The bag of candies felt like a cruel reminder of how out of control you felt and though you told him to go, part of you hated that he actually left.

The week of fasting had left you feeling like you were floating through the days, your body running on empty, but your mind clinging to the small sense of control. It wasn’t easy—drinking only tea and coffee, trying to keep that gnawing hunger at bay—but the numbers on the scale kept going down. You were making progress, right?

Today, though, something felt different. The familiar lightheadedness from the fasting had turned into a fog that clouded your thoughts, making everything feel distant. You stared at the zero-sugar creamer you’d added to your coffee earlier, the bitter taste still lingering on your tongue. You told yourself it was fine—it didn’t count. But your stomach churned and the guilt sat heavy inside you.

After ignoring Sylus for a week, you finally sent him a message, apologizing for how you’d acted. You couldn’t let him think you were pulling away because you didn’t care, even though the truth was far more complicated. You needed your space to stick to your plan, to make progress without any distractions. Sylus… he was becoming a distraction.

You agreed to meet him at the arcade, something that felt like a safe, neutral ground. You pulled on a baggy sweater, the oversized fabric hiding the changes your body had gone through over the past week. As you walked toward the meeting spot, the cold autumn air bit at your skin, though it felt like the cold had already been inside you for days.

When you finally spotted Sylus standing by the entrance, his demeanor shifted the moment his eyes landed on you. At first, he didn’t say anything—he rarely did unless he had something important to say—but the tension in his jaw, the way his eyes flickered with something deeper than concern, told you everything you needed to know. Sylus was observant, annoyingly so and you knew he had picked up on the way your skin had lost its color, how your steps seemed a little slower, more deliberate.

“Hey sy” you said, forcing a smile as you approached. Your voice sounded distant, even to you, like it had lost some of its energy. Sylus didn’t smile back, his gaze lingering on your face a little too long, as if searching for something.

“You alright kitten?” he asked, his tone casual, but the undercurrent of worry was unmistakable.

“Yeah, just a little tired” you lied, brushing it off as you led the way inside. You didn’t want to have this conversation. Not here. Not now.

The arcade was loud, full of flashing lights and the constant beeping of games, but even that felt distant through the fog in your brain. Normally, this place was your comfort zone. The claw machine was where you shined and it was always fun to show off in front of Sylus. But today, everything felt off.

You approached the claw machine, the one you usually conquered with ease but your hands felt shaky, your movements slow. Your brain struggled to focus as you pressed the buttons and you missed the toy by a wide margin. You clenched your jaw, frustration bubbling up, but it wasn’t just at the machine—it was at yourself.

“Damn, you’re usually a pro at this” Sylus teased lightly, though there was something off about the way he said it. His eyes hadn’t left you, watching your movements too closely, like he could see through you.

“Guess I’m just off my game today” you muttered, trying to force a laugh, but it sounded hollow.

You tried again, guiding the claw toward another prize, but your hands felt disconnected, like you were moving through water. The world tilted slightly as you leaned closer to the machine and you had to blink several times to steady yourself. Sylus was still watching, his body language casual but his eyes sharp. He could tell something was wrong—he always could.

As the claw dropped and missed the prize again, you felt your frustration spike. You were normally so good at this. Why did everything feel so hard today? You could feel Sylus’s gaze on you, and it made you uneasy. He wasn’t one to pry but you knew he was reading every sign, every small movement.

“You’ve been quiet” he said after a beat, his voice calm but probing. He leaned against the machine next to you, crossing his arms. “Something going on?”

You bit your lip, your brain too foggy to come up with an excuse but you couldn’t tell him the truth either. Not about the fasting. Not about why you looked like this. He wouldn’t understand.

“I’m just tired, Sylus” you said again, more forcefully this time, though it came out weaker than you intended. “That’s all.”

His brow furrowed slightly, his gaze lingering on your face before trailing down to your hands, which were trembling ever so slightly. He didn’t say anything but you could feel the tension between you growing heavier by the second.

You fumbled with the claw machine again, missing the prize for a third time. The frustration built inside you, but it was more than just the game. It was everything. The pressure, the guilt, the fear of losing control. It all felt like it was crashing down on you and Sylus standing there, watching, only made it worse.

Without a word, Sylus reached out, gently taking the control stick from your hands. You blinked in surprise as he smoothly guided the claw toward a prize, his movements precise, controlled. He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, a small, almost imperceptible softening in his expression.

“Let me help” he said quietly, his voice low, but there was something in his tone—something that told you he wasn’t just talking about the game.

You didn’t protest as the claw machine successfully grabbed a stuffed animal. Sylus handed it to you without a word, his fingers brushing yours for a moment and though you could tell he was trying to keep things light, you could feel the weight of his concern in that small gesture.

Your chest tightened as you looked down at the plush toy in your hands, guilt swirling inside you. You couldn’t hide it forever. Not from him. But for now, you just let the moment hang in the air, trying to hold on to the small flicker of control you had left.

As you and Sylus walked through the noisy arcade, the flashing lights and sounds started to fade into the background. You barely noticed when he steered you toward the bar area, where the bright signs advertised an assortment of sugary treats, slushies, and milkshakes. Normally, you’d have been overwhelmed with excuses, telling him you’d already eaten or that you weren’t hungry, but today… everything just felt so heavy.

Your head swam as you tried to focus, to muster up the energy to protest but your body had other plans. The edges of your vision blurred, and the last thing you remembered was the floor rushing up to meet you before everything went black.

The next time you opened your eyes, you weren’t at the arcade. A bright, sterile light flooded your senses, the sharp scent of antiseptic filling your lungs as you tried to take in your surroundings. You were in a hospital room, lying in a stiff bed with an IV attached to your arm. You blinked, disoriented, your brain sluggishly trying to piece together how you got here.

Then, you saw him.

Sylus sat in a chair by your bedside, his arms crossed, his face clouded with something you couldn’t quite place—worry, maybe? You’d never seen him like this before, his usual cool composure replaced by a tense stillness that made the room feel even colder than it already was.

For a while, he didn’t say anything. The silence between you stretched out, thick and uncomfortable, as you struggled to focus on his expression. Finally, after what felt like forever, he spoke, his voice low, serious in a way you hadn’t heard before.

“The doctors said you’re underweight” he began, his tone careful but firm. “They think you haven’t eaten in days, kitten.”

You felt your stomach twist as his words sank in but your mind was still too foggy, too tired to fully process it. You shifted under the scratchy hospital gown, trying to find something to say, anything to brush off the severity of the situation. It was easier to avoid, to deflect, to act like none of this mattered.

“I’m fine” you mumbled, your voice hoarse and weak. “It’s not a big deal. I was just tired.”

Sylus’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing slightly as he leaned forward, his arms still crossed. He wasn’t buying it. You could feel the shift in his demeanor—this wasn’t just concern anymore. This was frustration, mixed with something deeper.

“Kitten, don’t do that” he said, his voice sharper than usual. “Don’t pretend this isn’t serious. You passed out. In front of me. You’re not ‘fine.’ ”

You looked away, unable to meet his intense gaze. Your heart raced, the familiar panic rising in your chest as you tried to push the conversation away but Sylus wasn’t letting it go. He wasn’t his usual teasing, playful self. This time, he was more assertive, his voice carrying an edge you weren’t used to.

“I’m just… not hungry” you lied, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s nothing. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.” His tone was firm but there was a softness behind it—an unspoken plea for you to open up, to let him in. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t. He wouldn’t get it. He didn’t have to worry about his body like you did. He didn’t have to restrict, to starve, to be worthy of love.

“You don’t have to diet every second of your life just to be loved” you said a bit more louder than intended, your voice rising with frustration. The words came out before you could stop them and you could see the impact they had on him immediately. His expression darkened but it wasn’t anger—it was something else, something more vulnerable.

His lips parted, his eyes flashing with a mix of emotions before he spoke. “Sweetie, if you keep going like this… you’re going to die.”

The words hung heavy in the air, cutting through the tension like a blade. You felt your chest tighten, your throat constricting as you tried to swallow the lump that had formed there. You knew he was right, deep down, but the thought of stopping, of losing control, terrified you.

“And if I die skinny and beautiful, it’ll be a worthy death” you shot back, your voice shaking with defiance. The moment the words left your mouth, you wished you could take them back. But they hung between you, raw and unfiltered.

Sylus’s eyes widened, his expression shifting from frustration to something deeper—shock, anger, but most of all, sadness. He stared at you, his face softening in a way you had never seen before, the weight of your words hitting him like a punch to the gut.

You hadn’t meant to hurt him. You hadn’t meant to push him away. But the look on his face… it broke something inside of you.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you saw the pain etched across his features, the way his normally composed demeanor had crumbled. He didn’t say anything, just looked at you, his brows drawn together in a mix of anger and heartbreak and for the first time, you saw how deeply he cared—how much he was trying to hold it together, for your sake.

Your lip trembled as you tried to blink away the tears, but they spilled over, hot and fast. “I… I didn’t mean…”

He stood up, moving to sit beside you on the hospital bed, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek gently, his thumb brushing away the tears. His touch was tender, careful, as if you were fragile. And in that moment, you realized how broken you really felt.

“I’m not letting you do this to yourself” he said softly, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Not anymore, kitten. You’re not alone in this. I’m not going to lose you.”

[knoepfl]

His to Keep

Here we are again this time with Monoma Neito! Again this is inspired from @devotion-disorder! So check them out. The first part was with Tomura Shigaraki if you'd like to see that go to the Masterlist. There will be updates as soon as a new character gets put in that room! So be sure to look at it once in a while^^ If you want to see special characters being put in that room write in the comments or sent me a request I'll be happy to fulfill it! Anyways let's start! Enjoy!

Masterlist

---

It started with curiosity.

Monoma Neito, the ever-smug and sharp-tongued student of Class 1-B, tilted his head, frowning as he took in the room. His usual smirk faltered when he noticed what was on the walls—pictures. Dozens of pictures. Of you.

At first, a warm flush crept up his neck. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your familiar face. He always knew you were special. You were his, even if you didn’t quite realize it yet.

But something was wrong.

You weren’t alone in the photos. A stranger was with you, smiling just as brightly, standing too close. Their hand rested lightly on your back, and in some pictures, they held you in ways that Monoma thought were his to do. His stomach churned as he scanned more images, each one more painful than the last.

This must be a joke… Right?

5 minutes in:

At first, Monoma scoffed, brushing it off with a haughty grin.

“Someone’s trying to rile me up, huh?” he muttered to himself. “As if I’d fall for something so obvious. Pathetic.”

He paced back and forth in the room, hands clasped behind his back as he tried to convince himself it didn’t matter. Fake. It has to be fake. His rational side told him it was nothing but a prank. A tasteless, stupid prank.

But the images wouldn’t leave his mind. Every picture was so perfectly composed, down to the way your eyes lit up when you looked at the other person. He stared at a particular photo where you leaned into the stranger, a soft laugh frozen in time, and something deep inside him cracked.

Why did it feel so real?

1 hour in:

He tried to remain composed, but the air was heavy with doubt.

“This isn’t right,” Monoma muttered, chewing on his lower lip. “There’s no way you’d—no, you wouldn’t do this to me… right?”

His heart raced as his mind began to spiral. What if this was real? What if you’ve been lying to me all along? The thought clung to him like a parasite, gnawing at the edges of his sanity.

He traced the photos with trembling fingers, eyes lingering on every detail. “Do they touch you like I do? Do they know you like I do?” His voice wavered, barely above a whisper.

The room was silent, but the noise inside his head was deafening.

3 hours in:

His control was slipping, fast.

He gripped his hair, pulling harshly as if the pain could drown out the jealousy and rage threatening to consume him. “It’s fake. It’s fake. It has to be fake!” But the pictures stared back, mocking him with their vivid reality.

Monoma gasped for air, his chest heaving as panic clawed at him. His usual arrogance had crumbled into a mess of insecurity and obsession. How could he ever compare? What if you liked that other person more?

“No… No, you wouldn’t,” he whimpered, curling into himself. “You’re mine. You belong with me.”

His breath hitched, and he began to laugh—a hollow, broken sound. “Yeah… yeah, it’s just a mistake. I’ll fix it.” But his laughter quickly turned into dry, hiccuping sobs.

Because deep down, he wasn’t sure if it was a mistake.

6+ hours in:

By now, Monoma was a different person.

He sat slumped against the wall, muttering nonsense under his breath, his fingernails scratched raw from dragging them across the floor and his arms. “Not real… It’s not real… Not real…” But the photos—those cursed photos—were everywhere.

His eyes, wide and red-rimmed, twitched as they darted between images. In his mind, the stranger was no longer just a figure in the background—they were an enemy. A thief. Someone trying to take away the only thing that mattered to him: you.

“I won’t let them,” Monoma whispered, voice dripping with venom. His eyes sparkled with manic determination as a dangerous smile curled on his lips. “No one gets to take you away from me… not them… not anyone.”

The Aftermath:

When you finally opened the door to the room, you barely had a chance to react before Monoma was on you. He stood before you, disheveled and trembling, but his grin was wide—too wide. His pale hands grasped your arms with an unsettling mix of desperation and relief.

“You’re back,” he whispered, his voice a sickly sweet croon. “You had me worried there for a second.” His laugh was sharp and jagged, teetering on the edge of sanity.

Before you could respond, he pulled you into a tight embrace, his breath hot against your ear. “You didn’t mean those things, right? You weren’t with them. It was all just… a misunderstanding. A trick. Right?”

He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his smile brittle and unhinged. “Because you love me, don’t you? You were always mine.” His hands trembled as they cupped your face, thumbs tracing over your skin as if reassuring himself that you were real.

And in that moment, you realized the terrifying truth: there was no escaping Monoma Neito.

In his mind, you were his—and he would do anything, anything, to keep it that way.

Forever.

---

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Zuck’s gravity-defying metaverse money-pit

Tomorrow (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.

Think of everything that makes you miserable as being caught between two opposing, irresistible, irrefutable truths:

"Anything that can't go on forever eventually stops" (Stein's Law)

"Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent" (Keynes)

Both of these are true, even though they seemingly contradict one another, and no one embodies that contradiction more perfectly than Mark Zuckerberg.

Take the metaverse.

Zuck's "pivot" to a virtual world he ripped off from a quarter-century old cyberpunk novel (reminder: cyberpunk is a warning, not a suggestion) was born of desperation.

Zuck fancies himself an avatar of the Emperor Augustus (that's why he has that haircut) (no, really). The emperors of antiquity are infamous for getting all weepy when they run out of lands to conquer.

But the lachrymosity of emperors has little causal relationship to the anxieties of tech monopolists! Alexander weeps because he just loves a good conquest and when he finishes conquering the world, he's terminally bored. That's not Zuck's problem at all. When Zuck attains monopoly status, his company develops an autoimmune disorder, as his vicious princelings run out of enemies to destroy and begin to knife one another.

Any monopoly faces these destructive microincentives, but tech is exceptional here because tech has the realtime flexibility and speed that brick-and-mortar businesses can never match:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

Sociopaths with tech monopolies are worse for the same reason that road-rage would be worse in a flying car: adding new capacity to indiscriminate self-destructive urges turns ordinary car crashes into low-level airburst warfare:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

The flexibility of digital gives tech platforms so much latitude to break things in tiny increments. A tech platform is like a Jenga tower composed of infinitely divisible blocks. The Jenga players are the product managers and executives who have run out of the ability to grow by attracting new business thanks to their monopoly dominance. Now they compete with one another to increase the yield from their respective divisions by visiting pain upon the business customers and end users their platform connects. By tiny increments, they increase the product's cost, lower its reliability, and strip it of its utility and then charge rent to restore its functionality:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/24/cursed-bigness/#incentives-matter

This is the terminal stage of enshittification, the unstoppable autocannibalism of platforms as they seek to harvest all the value created by business customers and end users, leaving the absolute minimum of residual value needed to keep both stuck to the platform. This is a brittle equilibrium, because the difference between "I hate this service but I just can't stop using it," and "Get me the fuck out of here" is razor-thin.

All it takes is one tiny push – a whistleblower, a livestreamed mass-shooting, a Cambridge Analytica – and people bolt for the doors. This triggers the final stage: the "pivot," which is a tech euphemism for "panic."

For Zuck, the pivot got real after a disappointing earnings call triggered a mass sell-off of Facebook stock, history's worst one-day value incineration, which lopped a quarter of a trillion dollars off the company's market cap:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-12-19/dramatic-stock-moves-of-2022-led-by-meta-dive-nordic-flash-crash

This was when the metaverse became the company's top priority.

Now, in my theory of enshittification, the step that follows the pivot is death: "Finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then, they die":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

Many people have asked me about the conspicuous non-death of Facebook! That's where I have to fall back on Stein's Law: "Anything that can't go on forever eventually stops." Facebook can't continue to annihilate value, alienate its workers, harm the public, hemorrhage money in support of a mediocrity's cherished folly forever. Can it?

Admittedly, it sure seems like it can. Facebook's metaverse pivot has thus far cost the company $46,500,000,000. That is: $46.5 billion. That's even more money than Uber torched, seeking to maintain the illusion that they will be able to create monopolies on both transport and the labor market for driving and recoup the billions the Saudi royal family let them use for the con:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/11/bezzlers-gonna-bezzle/#gryft

Don't worry: the Saudi royals are fine! They cashed out at the IPO, collecting a tidy profit at the expense of retail investors who assumed that a pile of shit as big as Uber must have a pony under it, somewhere:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/19/fake-it-till-you-make-it/#millennial-lifestyle-subsidy

Uber has doubled the cost of rides and halved drivers' wages, using illegal gimmicks like "algorithmic wage discrimination" to squeeze a little more juice out of the nearly exhausted husks of its workforce:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

But Stein's Law hasn't been repealed. Drivers can't drive for sub-subsistence wages. Do that long enough and they'll literally starve: that's what "subsistence" means. We lost a decade of transit investment thanks to the Uber con, at the same time as traditional taxi drivers were forced out of the industry. Uber can't be profitable and still pay a living wage, and the fantasy of self-driving cars as a means of zeroing out the wage-bill altogether remains stubbornly, lethally unworkable:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

Which means we're at the point where you can get off a commuter train at a main station and find yourself stranded: no taxis at the taxi-queue, no busses due for an hour, and no Uber cars available unless you're willing to pay $95 for a ten-minute ride in a luxury SUV (why yes, this did happen to me recently, thanks for asking).

As more and more of us are exposed to these micro-crises, the political will to do something will increase. This can't go on forever. "Don't use commuter rail" isn't a viable option. "Walk three miles each way to the commuter rail station" isn't viable either. Neither is "Pay $95 for an Uber to get to the station." Something's gotta give…eventually.

"Eventually" is the key word here. Remember the corollary of Stein's Law: Keynes's maxim that "markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent." Sure, anything that can't go on forever eventually stops, but that is no guarantee of a soft landing. You can't smoke two packs a day forever – but in the absence of smoking cessation, the eventual terminus of that habit is stage-four lung cancer. Keep hammering butts into your face and your last smoke will come out a crematorium chimney.

Zuckerberg hasn't merely blown a whole-ass Twitter on the metaverse with nothing to show for it – he's gotten richer while doing it! In the past year, his net worth increased by 130%, to $59 billion, thanks to an increase in Facebook's share-price, driven by investors who stubbornly remain irrational, keeping the Boy Emperor solvent long past any reasonable assessment of his performance.

What are these investors betting on? One possibility is that the rise and rise of Facebook's share-price represents a bet on technofeudalism. Since the Communist Manifesto, Marxists have been predicting the end of capitalism. That end seems to have come, but what followed capitalism wasn't socialism, it was the return of feudalism, an economic system where elites derive their wealth from rents, not profits:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital

Profit is the income you get from investing in capital – machinery, systems, plant – and then harvesting the surplus value created by workers who mobilize this capital. Capitalism produces massive returns for its winners – in the Manifesto's first chapter, Marx and Engels just geek out about how productive and dynamic this system is.

But capitalism is also a Red Queen's Race, where the winners have to run faster and faster to stay in the same place. Capitalism drives competition, as other would-be winners pile into the sector, replicating the systems that the current winners are using and then improving on them. This is why the prophets of capitalist end-times like the FBI informant Peter Thiel say that "competition is for losers."

Capitalism's "profits" stand in contrast to the feudalist's "rents." Rents are income you get from owning something that other people need to produce things. The capitalist owns the coffee-shop, but the feudalist owns the building. When a rival capitalist opens a superior coffee-shop and drives the old shop out of business, the capitalist loses, but the rentier wins. Now they can rent out an empty storefront in the neighborhood everyone's coming to because of that hot new cafe.

Feudal and manorial lords also made their fortunes by extracting surplus value from workers, but these rentiers don't care about owning the means of production. The peasant in the field pays for their own agricultural equipment and livestock – control over the means of production is necessary for worker liberation, but it's not sufficient. The worker's co-op that owns its factory can still find the value it produces bled off by the landlord who owns the land the factory sits on.

The jury's still out on whether American workers really see themselves as "temporarily embarrassed millionaires," but America's capitalists have a palpable, undeniable loathing for capitalism. The dream of an American "entrepreneur" is *PassiveIncome: money you get from owning something capitalists and/or workers use to create value. Digital technology creates exciting new possibilities for rent-extraction: a taxi-operator had to buy and maintain a car that someone else drove. Uber can offload this hassle onto its drivers and rent out access to the chokepoint it created between drivers and riders, charging all the traffic can bear. This is feudalism in the cloud – or as Yannis Varoufakis calls it, cloudalism.

In Varoufakis's Technofeudalism, he describes Amazon as a feudal venture. From a distance, Amazon seems like a bustling marketplace of manic capitalism, with sellers avidly competing to offer more variety and lower costs in a million independently operated storefronts. But closer inspection reveals that Amazon is a planned economy, not a market.

Every one of those storefronts pays rent to the same landlord – Amazon – which determines which goods can be offered for sale. Amazon sets pricing for those goods, and extracts 45-51% of every dollar those sellers make. Amazon even controls which goods are shelved at eye-height when you enter the store, and which ones are banished to a dusty storeroom in a distant sub-basement you'll never find:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/14/flywheel-shyster-and-flywheel/#unfulfilled-by-amazon

Zuck's metaverse is pure-play technofeudalism, Amazon taken to the logical extreme. It's easy to get distracted by the part of Zuck's vision that will convert us all into legless, sexless, heavily surveilled low-resolution cartoon characters. But the real action isn't this digitization of our fleshy wants and needs. Zuck didn't spend $46.5B to torment us.

The cruelty isn't the point of the metaverse.

The point of the metaverse is to rent us out to capitalists.

Zuck doesn't know why we would use the metaverse, but he believes that if he can convince capitalists that we all want to live there, that they'll invest the capital to figure out how to serve us there, and then he can extract rent from those capitalists and start earning "passive income." It's an Uber for Cyberpunk Dystopias play.

Zuck's done this before. Remember the "pivot to video?" Zuckerberg wanted to compete with Youtube, but he didn't want to invest in paying for video production. Videos are really expensive to produce and the median video gets zero views. So Zuck used his captive audience to trick publishers into financing his move into video. He fraudulently told publishers that videos were blowing up on Facebook, outperforming boring old text by vast margins.

Publishers borrowed billions and raised billions more in the capital markets, financing the total conversion of newsrooms from text to video and precipitating a mass extinction event for print journalists. Zuck kept the con alive by giving away (fewer) billions to some of those publishers, falsely claiming that their videos were generating fortunes in advertising revenue. These lucky, credulous publishers became judas goats for their industry, luring others into the con, the same way that the "lucky" guy a carny lets win a giant teddy-bear at the start of the day lures others into putting down $5 to see if they can sink three balls in a rigged peach-basket.

But when we stubbornly refused to watch videos on Facebook, Zuck stopped spreading around these convincer payouts, and precipitated a second mass-extinction event in news media, as the new generation of video journalists joined their predecessors in Facebook-driven unemployment. Given this history, it's surreal to see publishers continue to insist that Facebook is stealing their content, when it is so clearly stealing their money:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/saving-news-big-tech

Metaverse is the new Pivot to Video. Zuckerberg is building a new world, which he will own, and he wants rent it to capitalists, who will compete with one another in just the way that Amazon's sellers compete. No matter who wins that competition, Zuckerberg will win. The prize for winning will be a rent increase, as Zuckerberg leverages the fact that your "successful" business relies on Facebook's metaverse to drain off all the value your workers have produced:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/18/metaverse-means-pivot-to-video/

This can't last forever, but how long until Zuck's reality distortion field runs out of battery? That's the $46.5B question.

The market can certainly remain irrational for a hell of a long time. But the market isn't the only force that regulates corporate outcomes. Regulators also regulate. Europe's GDPR is now seven years old, and it plainly outlaws Facebook's surveillance.

For nearly a decade, Facebook has pretended that this wasn't true, and they got away with it. Mostly, that's thanks to the fact that Ireland is a corporate crime-haven with a worse-than-useless Data Protection Commission:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/15/finnegans-snooze/#dirty-old-town

But anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. Facebook has finally been dragged into EU federal jurisdiction, where it will face exterminatory fines if it continues to spy on Europeans:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/07/luck-of-the-irish/#schrems-revenge

In response, Facebook has rolled out a subscription version of its main service and its anticompetitive acquisition, Instagram:

https://about.fb.com/news/2023/10/facebook-and-instagram-to-offer-subscription-for-no-ads-in-europe/

For €10/month, Facebook will give you an ad-free experience across its service offerings (it's €13/month if you pay through an app, as Facebook recoups the 30% #AdTax rents that the feudal Google/Apple mobile duopoly extracts).

But this doesn't come close to satisfying Facebook's legal obligations under the GDPR. The GDPR doesn't ban ads, it bans spying. Facebook spies on every single internet user, all the time. The apps we use are built with "free" Facebook toolkits that extract rent from the capitalists who make them by harvesting our data as we use their apps. The web-pages we visit have embedded Facebook libraries that do the same thing for web publishers. Facebook buys our data from brokers. Facebook has so many ways of spying on us that there's almost certainly no way for Facebook to stop spying on you, without radically transforming it operation.

To comply with the GDPR, Facebook must halt surveillance advertising altogether. There's no way to square "spying on users" with "you can't surveil without explicit consent, and you can't punish people for refusing."

And of course, "not spying" isn't the same as "not advertising." "Contextual advertising" – where ads are placed based on the thing you're looking at, not who you are and what you do – is hundreds of years old. Context ads underperform surveillance ads by a slim margin – about 5% – but they're vastly more profitable for publishers. That's because surveillance ads are feudal, controlled by rentiers like Facebook, who own vast troves of the surveillance data needed to run these ads. Traditional ad intermediaries (agencies, brokers) took 10-15% out of the total advertising market. Ad-tech companies – the Google/Facebook duopoly – take 51% out of every ad dollar spent.

Eliminate surveillance ads and you torch their feudal estates. Facebook will always know more about someone reading a news article than the publisher – but the publisher will always know more about the article than Facebook does:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/05/save-news-we-must-ban-surveillance-advertising

There are rents under capitalism, just as there are profits under feudalism. The defining characteristic of a system is what happens when rents and profits come into conflict. If profits win – for example, if productive companies beat patent trolls, or if news publishers escape Facebook's rent-extraction – then the system is capitalist. If rents win – if investors continue to bet large on the metaverse as its losses pass $50 billion and head for the $100 billion mark – then the system is feudal.

Anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. The question isn't whether the platforms will eventually become so enshittified that they die – the question is whether they will go down in an all-consuming fireball, or whether they'll go down in a controlled demolition that lets us evacuate the people they've trapped inside them first:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/09/let-the-platforms-burn/

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/30/markets-remaining-irrational/#steins-law

Image: Diego Delso (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Puente_de_las_cataratas_Victoria,_Zambia-Zimbabue,_2018-07-27,_DD_10.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

[twistyfish]

Oh I don’t know if that’s what you usually write for request but what about MC dying (once again) and just before dying she remembered everything from their past lives and the lads men’s reaction thinking they failed MC again

hi! i tried my best with this one because i’m not caught up on all the lore, so please bear with me. i took it in a slightly different direction

prompt~ mc dying.

content warning for death and violence

Zayne

Zayne groggily rolled over in bed, his outstretched arm bumping into the bedside table. He winced in pain, rubbing his wrist. He picked up his glasses and put them on, sitting up slowly so as not to wake you from what was very clearly a deep sleep, seeing as you weren’t awake yet

He cringed when the mattress squeaked, and his eyes immediately flashed to your still form. You didn’t budge. Good. He gently swept off the covers and stepped into his slippers, brushing his teeth and getting ready for the day.

After a cup of coffee and a banana, Zayne returned to the bedroom to kiss you on the forehead before driving to work.

***

Zayne came back from the hospital and set his things down. He washed his hands and headed to the bedroom, eager to change out of his scrubs. He opened the door and was surprised to see you still in bed.

You hadn’t been showing any signs of feeling down lately, so this was a surprise. Maybe you were taking a nap? He wondered if he should let you sleep.

It was very silent. All he could hear was the distant hum of the air conditioner. He didn’t even hear your usual light snoring.

He walked in front of you and bent down, hesitating before patting your shoulder. He patted it again before shaking you.

Oh, so you were being difficult. He picked up the blanket and threw it off you, revealing the lower half of your face. It was still and pale.

He leaned in closer and realized something very, very critical.

You weren’t breathing.

His heart rate spiked and he immediately pressed his ear against your chest, because maybe he was mistaken. Maybe you were breathing and he just couldn’t hear it very well. Or maybe you had some undiagnosed sleep disorder where you temporarily stopped breathing. Maybe you would wake up gasping for air in a few seconds.

But he didn’t hear or feel any movement at all, so he stabbed his fingers against his phone to dial the ambulance, and told the operator what was happening with a foggy brain. His voice was hardly audible by the end of it. He knew exactly what information they needed, but he couldn’t seem to remember it. Your address, your age, your full name.

Who cared about all of that? That was all useless information. All that he cared about right now was that you were dead. His partner was dead. And he hadn’t been there for her.

Sylus

Gunshots rang out, the noise of bones cracking permeating the air while bulletproof glass broke into a thousand shards. Sylus sprinted through the room and into your destroyed cell.

He hadn’t opted to send Luke and Kieran to bring you home. He had to do it himself. He knew the fuckers wanted him to show up, but he paid no mind. He had to see for himself that you were okay.

But what he saw made his stomach drop into his shoes. You were sitting in the corner of the room, chained to the wall. Your head was lolled onto your shoulder, your eyes gored out and your arms covered in burns. No. No. No no no no nonono-

He fell to his knees with a painful thump. The only thing he could bring himself to do was hold his stomach and vomit up bile. Seeing his lover like that ruined him. It destroyed him, made him want to cry and scream until the Earth was flooded and everyone’s eardrums had burst.

So when one of the men on the floor laughed weakly at Sylus’s grief, he shot without a second thought.

Nobody’s life mattered anymore. The person whose life he cared about wasn’t here anymore.

Rafayel

The air was hot and dry, and you looked beautiful with pearls of sweat dripping from your chin and collecting on your collarbone. You were wearing a flowy green dress and little teardrop earrings.

Rafayel’s eyes were fixed on you, even while you crossed the streets. The smooth curve of your back, your soft, bare arms. You were so undeniably beautiful.

He loved going on walks with you, and he was thrilled that you both had been able to take a week off for holiday. He rarely got to see you in such a light, beachy setting.

It had been around thirty minutes of walking, and you seemed to be getting a little out of breath. This surprised him, because your job consisted of a lot of movement and high energy combat.

“You’re not getting out of shape, are you Ms. Bodyguard?” He teased. “How are you gonna protect me if walking around gets you breathless?”

Your shallow breaths continued, which was a little concerning.

He stopped walking. “Hey. Is everything okay?” He asked, concerned now.

You shook your head. “I don’t feel good.” Your breaths were getting quicker and shallower, and you doubled over. Your hands were on your knees, and you gagged. Rafayel bent down next to you, and before he knew it you were swaying and then you had fallen. He barely caught your head as you went down, his knuckles scraping the pavement.

“__? Hey! Hey, hey, wake up!” He was rapidly tapping your cheek, praying to whatever deities were out there that you would get up and walk it off.

“We need help! Please, my girlfriend is sick! We need help!” He shouted. A few locals rushed over and called for help, but he was inconsolable.

After emergency surgery and two days in the hospital, he was informed that you were braindead. He didn’t say anything. He booked a flight home and sold all his paintings.

He never painted anything again.

Xavier

No. Not this. Anything but this. His shaking hand brushed bloody, matted hair out of your face.

“Stay calm. Backup is here. I’m going to take you to get medical attention,” he said in a voice that was calmer than he felt.

“Xavier.”

“Don’t talk, you’re expending unnecessary energy.”

“Xavier, I’m not going to make it.”

“Don’t fucking say that.” His facade was cracking.

“I love you. I should have said it before, but I love you so much.”

“__, please-,”

“I’m so grateful that you’re my partner. You’ve been there for me through everything and I don’t want this to be it for you.”

“No.” His voice was small, like he was pleading.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was already breathy and shrinking in volume. But the intensity was the same. The character was constant. You would die a fighter.

“No, please, I’m not ready. I can’t do this without you,” he choked, pressure building up in his nose. His eyes started leaking, and he felt nauseous.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And that was the last thing you heard. Xavier pressed his forehead into your chest, and it killed him when he felt no rising or falling. It was just him and the night.

He looked up at the stars, and he swore he saw your face.

[bathask]

過緊張高不安,自閉症スペクトラムの作業所ストレスで血行悪く筋肉強張り腰痛に。大人の発達障害アスペルガー/自閉スペクトラム症ASDの就労継続支援A型事業所仕事終えたのに乾いて喉が詰まり咳込む。ストレスで唾液分泌減り気管支収縮等て自律神経乱れかも。週6通勤続きストレス発散不可。疲労困憊,早寝

[thebibliosphere]

I don't think this is something you've mentioned before, but I don't know where else to turn.

When I drink alcohol of any type I (occasionally) have an issue where within minutes of the first sip my shoulders and back are in intense pain and discomfort. I call it getting Atlas'd (or Alcohol Roulette) because it feels like im very literally shouldering the world. It doesn't happen every time but something about 1/3rd of the time and it doesn't seem to care much if it's a beer or liquor or a mixed drink.

I have other chronic pain issues, so im not exactly a lightweight when it comes to pain, but it is so sudden and encompassing, and only happens occasionally so it hits like a truck every single time. I recently had to cut a date short with my husband (the first we'd been on in a while) because I lost the roulette for the first time in a while and it's just very frustrating.

Nobody ever seems to have experienced this or known someome else who has. So while I know this isn't something I've seen you talk about before, do you (or your followers) happen to have any experience with this or know where to point me as to what/why this happens? Google has not been successful for me.

Hmm. Does your head hurt with it too? And do you have any other signs or symptoms of dysautonomia because based on your description that could be ‘coat hanger pain.’

Alcohol is loaded with histamine, so if you have any sort of autonomic disorder (or disorders linked to it like fibro) or mast cell instability (even minor) it could be tanking your blood pressure resulting in this area of pain.

A lot of resources on coat hanger pain talk about it cramping or being dull, but for me, it manifests like a physical weight that smacks me seemingly out of nowhere and then grinds me down with the persistence of it.

The fact that it doesn’t happen every time is also reminiscent of a bit of histamine overload, i.e., Sometimes you’ve already hit your window of tolerance for histamine that day, and the alcohol tips you over, and on days where you’re fine with your histamine load is lower.

I’m not saying for sure that’s what it is, obviously, but what you’re describing is familiar enough I feel it worth mentioning.