#Love during hospitalization.

[dorisazi]

#A very handsome man. とてもハンサムな男性。 매우 잘생긴 남성. Ein sehr gutaussehender Mann. Un hombre muy guapo. Pria yang sangat tampan. Một người đàn ông rấ

#Find one's original intention. 初心を見つける。 초심을 찾다. Die ursprüngliche Absicht finden. Encontrar la intención original. Menemukan niat awal. Tìm

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[inkskinned]

we heard that you were very disappointed in us both as a generation and specifically as a generation of women (emphasis yours), how we had let ourselves go and now we were slutty and ill-tempered and holding onto notions of feminism like "having a savings account" and "equality."

we were very sorry about it, we didn't realize. it is very hard for you, in your life, because your entire definition was centered around the word providing, and that's a really vague and undulating word. it is hard to be a provider. for your purposes, the word provider here can be defined as "having a job", although it sometimes also extends to "doing yard work", "grilling on occasion," and "knowing basic car anatomy."

we had to do some reading but we divided it out. do not worry. high-value women will fill in the rest of the gaps of your life - all those silly feminine things like doing the dishes. we didn't realize we had asked too much when we asked you to pick up after yourself. we did not realize you were rendered small and scared and crying about the possibility of doing the laundry. here is a joke to lighten the sentiment: a man that listens when you talk to him.

we heard about how we had fallen from glory and it sickened us and made us very, very sad. lindsey had to cut all her hair off and tara threw up. we lit one million candles and we are going to have a vigil about it tonight. all of the people in this world that you do not approve of are going to be there and we will all be in mourning colors because we have lost your respect which is of course the only thing that any of us were looking for.

we searched around our bedrooms and our closets and for some of us it took a while but we all found the pricetag that we were originally born with, the one that gave our listing offer, the one that smells like rot and pine needles. we were horrified because many of us had taken deductions and hadn't realized it. i had scraped my knees and decided to be a lesbian so they had to take my voicebox out so i could never call home again. janice had been with too many people overall so we had to put her into the big squisher that will hopefully collapse her walls so that when you're with her, you'll feel so big and powerful. it will be like you're conquering something instead of being close with someone.

we are all going to the funeral of feminism and we will tear at our bodies and fall over ourselves. we will invite you onstage for a live recording of your podcast about the occasional minor inconvenience of self-reflection. you will talk about how we have targeted you and made you feel the sweat slick down your back, and we will teach you basic self-defense out of solidarity.

do not worry, we are seeing to all the outliers. taylor asked to be taken seriously so we have shipped her off to prison. laura asked you to accept her femininity regardless of her presentation. you will be happy to hear all women are now and forever going to have to be small and thin and pretty and white and ablebodied and quiet and unassuming and ladylike, which is different than how society has previously told us to act.

i am going to have to shave off my jawline, which is a little masculine, and they are going to have to reshape my hands, which are very square and thick - all the work i've done with them has made their veins stand out, so we're just going to have to exsanguinate me. i am horrified to have been out in public like this.

we are going to sit around the campfire and we will talk about being weird little girls that made potions in pink teacups. we will talk about the first time we made a difference. we will talk about the private lives of crickets, and then, at the stroke of three in the morning (the witching hour, obviously) - we will all promptly shut up.

and this will be your beautiful world. this silence that spans every corner of every street and every zoom meeting and every alley. i do not think you'll notice at first - it will be the same as every television show and movie and book. we will all just simply sit there in our doll dresses and smile blithely at your advances and none of us will do you the dishonor of answering and none of us will appear to be in distress and none of us will nag you or make a fuss or get hysterical about it. it will just be quiet, and you will say finally, some peace for once! and we will smell of smoke and our teeth will be white and the next day will come.

tonight we are going to bury the last little bits of our humanity. you are not invited. it is going to be ugly.

[ruporas]

i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.

[noxious-fennec]

C!Q + vylette's fit from Jawbreaker

(aka an idea I've had for every conceivable holiday for months and decidedly couldn't put out on an appropriate date)

[butchdiaz]

just ripped myself out of sleepytime at 1:45am because i thought about take eddie if you want / really? / ..........and die. thats some crazy ass dialogue from the writers of 911 on abc and i think we all moved past it too quickly.

[gildedtragedies]

of course my first post on this godforsaken site would be a shittily-made we must be killers meme...your honor i am simply obsessed with @lorata's specific brand of mentor-mentee dynamics

[stil-lindigo]

tiger mum.

--

wrote a poem for my mum for the last day of the lunar new year. 2022 was her year since she was born in the year of the tiger :)

[scootersscooter]

Idk guys Mighty Med was just such a good show. The characters were incredibly well rounded and had a lot of personality. The show had incredible relationships between the characters, especially when it came to Kaz and Oliver's friendship (and dare I even say the budding romantic relationship between Oliver and Skylar). The world building was great and easily lent itself toward both serious and goofy situations. The plot had lots of twists and turns that never felt like too much. I feel that it's very overlooked, especially when competing with Lab Rats, but I think that Mighty Med does a lot better with less time while managing to have better characterization and character development than Lab Rats could ever dream of having. Go watch Mighty Med guys. Please <3.

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

More stuff about my Merlin soulmate au:

Something I think I forgot to mention last time is that soulmates take comfort in the presence and physical contact of each other, feeling safe and content with them by their side.

The other kingdoms view Uther's policies on soulmates to be barbaric and cruel, and is a contributing factor to the tension and conflicts Camelot faces with the surrounding kingdoms.

Morgana still goes evil in this one lads, but with an important change of her anger being exclusively directed at Uther, Arthur, and Merlin. Gwen is her soulmate and she loves her, she wants Gwen at HER side. Her rage at getting a vision of Gwen becoming queen isn't because she is queen, but because she's ARTHURS queen (I do want to clarify that Gwen and Morgana's relationship in this au is platonic, but it only makes sense for Morgana to want one of her soulmates to rule beside her, and her other soulmates are her sister and a child)

So all the attempts on Gwen's life are gone (though both the shade plot and the dark tower might still be in play, but with the intention to get Gwen back all to herself, not to harm her)

(Merlin does not know Morgana is one of Gwen's other soulmates until after he poisoned her and Gwen let's slipped that she's really worried about Morgana, but at least she knows she's alive.)

(Gwen being Morgana's soulmate is a treasure trove of angst that I do plan on exploring fully)

The Coming of Arthur is going to be fun in regards to Morgana and Gwen (and Leon)

Morgana promising Gwen that no harm will come to her, not with her by her side.

"I know it's not fair of me to make you choose between soulmates, but Gwen, I can bring peace back to Camelot. Magic can be free again, soulmates cherished as they are supposed to be. Please, join me."

But the thing is, Morgana isn't just asking Gwen to choose between two halves of her soul. She knows both Leon and Merlin would never forsake Arthur, and if she chose Morgana, she would also lose both of them, not just Arthur. It's an unfair position to be in, an impossible situation (she chooses anyway. The Morgana she knew never would have ordered the death of innocent civilians to punish those who would not obey her. Something happened to the girl she loves, shes having trouble recognizing the holder of a piece of her soul)

(Gwen still goes to the dungeon to bring Leon food, though it goes a little differently, with Leon learning that Morgana is her soulmate. More on that in another post)

Arthur is going to repeal the laws against soulmates and magic as soon as he becomes king (he has been aware of Merlin’s status as a sorcerer for years and is unable to see how magic can be evil and corrupting when Merlin is one of the best people he knows and his soulmate to boot)

Due to most of them growing up under laws that prohibit talking about soulmates, it takes everybody far too fucking long to realize that they are all soulmates with each other cause no one says anything or compares notes.

I know its mean, but they finally figure it all out following Lancelot's death

(I have tried to figure out a way for him to survive but I really don't think he can)

(Poor Gwen all alone in Camelot breaking down while helping care for people because she feels Lancelot *die* with only Gaius to help her. No other soulmates available to hold her and help her feel a little less empty, a little less alone.)

Everyone experiencing the same pain and all knowing they just lost Lancelot leads to conversation.

Because while everyone in the group had been bonded with Lancelot, not everyone is bound together, which is totally possible, but Arthur knows he's soul bound to half this group, it would make sense to check if there's others in the group.

I will make a separate post about the events of the darkest hour cause I think this would get very long if I had it in here

Now, something I haven't gotten into yet is the magic part of soulmates (so far it's mainly been the destiny and social ramifications and interpersonal details)

Soulmarks are magic, and in some cases, an individual can develop a soulmate ability, a single ability that can be used in regards to exclusively one's bonded soulmates

Now these abilities vary in strength and specificity, some are dictated by touch, others apply no matter where they are in the world

Some soulmate abilities I've come up with thus far are:

The ability to always know what direction their soulmate is in relation to themself

The ability to know when their soulmate is lying to them, and a more broad varient of always knowing when they are lying period

The ability to always instinctually know what it is their soulmate truly means when they speak (I'm very tempted to give this to Gwen because I think it would make things interesting with Morgana, but I am worried it might break things a bit)

The ability to know what their soulmate is feeling emotionally by looking at them or touching them (I think I'm going to give this one to Leon?)

An ability confined to touch that brings to the soulmate's attention what their body most needs at that moment. (It's requires intent to be put into use, and it doesn't necessarily make the soulmate do that thing? It's not compulsory. It's more "Hey you're fucking exhausted you need sleep," or "Crying sounds so nice right now," or "Dude, EAT," and they can still fight these things, if they choose to, but those things are now at the forefront of their attention (making them more likely to be heeded))

Now, an ability I've thought EXTENSIVELY about:

A very rare and (before Uther nuked everything having to do with magic and soulmates) coveted ability that allows someone to, through constant touch, share their life force with their dying soulmate in order to keep then alive.

So say, for example, somebody (Soulmate A) is actively bleeding out from a fatal wound. The soulmate with the ability (Soulmate B) would have to touch soulmate A, skin to skin contact, and have this desperation, determination that soulmate A will not die, they won't let them.

Now, a couple things would happen.

One: Soulmate B's soulmark on Soulmate A's skin would move in some way to the point of injury (the method may vary depending on what their mark looks like. Like if the mark was a flower, the stem may extend and the mark itself stays stationary, or if it's something that's alive it would just fully move) and start "healing" the wound

Healing being in quotes because

Two: The injury is really being transferred partially to Soulmate B, enough so that the injury to Soulmate A is no longer immediately fatal, for the duration that they keep contact with Soulmate A. This buys Soulmate A time to be healed properly, but if the underlying injury is not healed in a timely manner, both Soulmate A and B could die.

Healing Soulmate A would also heal Soulmate B, as it was never truly their injury (though it sure feels and acts like it, and can be just as deadly if help isn't gotten in time.)

Because this ability is so inherently magic and is considered a spell, Soulmate B, even if they have the capacity to use other magic, can not cast a healing spell while using this spell, as it's only possible to cast one spell at a time.

I am naturally giving this ability to Merlin.

But the thing about abilities like this one is that it's impossible to know if you have it or not until the situation calls for it for the first time. It's impossible to know until your soulmate is dying right in front of you. Until you reach out and wish with every fiber in your being that they survive and they DO

The other thing about this ability? It can only be used once per soulmate. One get out of death free card and that's it

I haven't fully figured out if the dark tower would still happen, but if it does, Merlin would discover this ability saving Elyan's life (with the help of the knights who have to on the fly learn healing magic or else lose *both* of them)

That's going to be it for this post as it's starting to get long, but I have other posts I'm already working on. Also, if anyone has any questions, ideas, or suggestions in regards to this au, please feel free to send them my way!

[apotelesmaa]

> looking for a tenma siblings relationship study

> ask the op if the study is actually about the tenmas or just treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa

> they don’t understand

> pull out an illustrated diagram explaining the difference

> they laugh and say “it’s a good relationship study sir”

> click the post

> it’s treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa

[thetomorrowshow]

Whumptober 24 - Radiation Posioning

title: all days come down to one clear pane

fandom: hermitcraft

cw: hospital setting, possibly terminal illness

~

“Well, hey there, Bdubs,” Beef greets cheerfully, tightening the ties on his apron. “Here for another round of TCG?”

Bdubs doesn’t respond right away. He stares at Beef for a long moment, standing several feet away, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Hey, Beef?” he says eventually.

There’s something . . . something not quite right about the look in Bdubs’s big eyes. A dull, unfocused quality, like he isn’t all there.

“Yeah?”

“Did we eat something funny, last night?” asks Bdubs. “Because I’ve been feeling . . . not good.”

The NHO had grabbed dinner together the night before, and while it had been fairly cheap, greasy food, Beef’s been feeling all right. Out of all of them, Bdubs has one of the strongest stomachs. It would be weird for him to have a reaction, out of all of them.

“How so?”

Bdubs’s dull eyes dart from right to left. “I threw up,” he says. “Twice.”

Beef hums. “Well, I’ve been feeling fine. Did you ask Etho and Doc?”

“No.”

“Are you feeling sick any other way?”

Bdubs considers that question, his head tilting slightly to the side. “I’m . . . my body hurts,” he says, after a moment of consideration. “Like, aches. Is that normal?”

“It sounds like it could be a flu,” Beef says, taking a subtle step back. “Maybe you should go lie down.”

“I just had the flu a couple weeks ago,” Bdubs argues. “I feel . . . I dunno. I haven’t been feeling great all day, I’ve been kind of sick, but I was okay last night—”

His words speed up, voice louder and louder as he speaks, and one hand snakes out of his pocket and up to his hair, where it starts pulling. Beef grimaces—they’ve been trying to break Bdubs of his hair-pulling habit for years, but it always creeps back. Before he can mention it, though, his hand comes away.

With a tuft of hair.

Bdubs—

He wasn’t pulling too hard, was he? He just kind of pulled a little bit. He shouldn’t have been able to pull out a whole tuft of his own hair, like a dog blowing out its coat.

Bdubs doesn’t seem to notice. He lets the hair fall to the ground, runs his hand over his head. There’s some other thin patches, Beef notices, and that worries him just as much as the bandage wrapped around Bdubs’s hand.

Why is it bandaged?

“—been weird,” Bdubs says, “and I don’t like it.”

“Why don’t you lie down,” Beef suggests again. He forces his voice to be as calm as possible. He doesn’t want to freak out Bdubs, as strangely as he’s acting. “You can use my bed. I’ll bring you something to drink, okay?”

Bdubs frowns, but nods his agreement. He heads off in the direction of Beef’s bed, his bandaged hand still buried in his hair.

Beef watches him go for a moment, then pulls out his communicator.

There’s something very, very wrong about Bdubs. He’s going to need some help.

-

“When did this start?” Doc asks, examining Bdubs’s hand.

It looks bad. It looks really bad, from Beef’s point of view.

His left hand, now bereft of wrappings, doesn’t quite look like a hand. Well, it’s the right shape and everything, but his skin is just . . . wrong. Peeled-away and reddened, the fresh skin under the peeled back of his hand bubbly with blisters. The skin around the patch is discolored, several shades lighter than Bdubs’s usual pigment.

Bdubs shrugs. “I dunno. Um, it’s been kinda getting worse all week.”

“And you didn’t say something?” Doc says, shocked.

“I thought it would get better!”

“Goodness, Bdubs,” Xisuma says. “You can’t dig into a radiation site and expect to just get better.”

“When did you first enter the site, again?”

Bdubs’s face scrunches up; his eyes still hold that glassy look to them. “Um . . . two weeks ago? I haven’t been back since, promise.”

Two weeks ago.

Beef doesn’t know much about radiation poisoning, but if Bdubs made contact with it two weeks ago, how is it that only now he’s realized something’s wrong?

“We’ll have to take him off-world,” Xisuma’s murmuring. “Get him a proper doctor.”

Doc, usually quite defensive of his doctorate, doesn’t argue. He just drags a suitcase out from under Bdubs’s bed and cracks it open, dumping out whatever he finds within. Then he takes it over to Bdubs’s wardrobe, starts throwing random articles of clothing into it.

“I’ll come with,” Beef volunteers, and Xisuma nods gratefully toward him.

Then, because Beef is not just going to come with for the day, he leaves as well, donning a pair of elytra and flying back to his own base.

By the way Doc was packing, he thought that this was going to be a long stay.

Beef will stay with him. And then he’ll bring Bdubs home, and everything will be okay.

-

Bdubs gets sick on day two of his hospital stay.

The staff hadn’t quite known what to do with him—they’d never had a patient with ARS, and they’d had to call in a specialist from another world. That specialist had taken one look at the hospital room—Bdubs on the bed, Beef sitting beside him, Doc pressed against the window and Xisuma taking the forefront—and had immediately ushered them all out.

“His immune system is destroyed right now,” she’d scolded, sending them to the room next door to don protective gowns and masks and gloves. “We can’t risk him getting sick.”

Bdubs had watched them go, uncharacteristically quiet.

The doctor was right. His immune system was destroyed. He wakes up with a chest cough on the second day, and by that afternoon his temperature has climbed to feverish heights.

Beef doesn’t know what to do. He isn’t sick—he quarantined for twenty-four hours and tested negative for every illness in the book, just to be able to sit with Bdubs. He’d expected it to be pretty chill—maybe he could get some drawing done, talk with his friend about any remaining plans for what was left of the season.

Now he sits further away than he would have liked, over in the seat by the window, watching as Bdubs’s chest rises and falls weakly under his hospital gown.

They’re going to intubate him soon if he doesn’t start getting more oxygen. Whatever this bug is has ravaged his lungs in the brief time he’s been ill with it, making his body even weaker and more susceptible to the radiation devastating his cells from the inside.

He doesn’t even look like himself. Bdubs’s hair is more patchy than before, what remains limp and unbrushed. His face is scruffy, bags under his eyes oily, his closed eyes fluttering now and then. The hospital gown fits loosely around him, his entire collarbone showing in an unwelcome display of vulnerability. His right arm is hooked up to a pouch of fluids and pain medication, the occasional click from the IV stand breaking the silence.

He doesn’t look a thing like how Bdubs is supposed to look. It’s like the life has been drained out of him as steadily as the IV drips into his bloodstream.

“Zedaph’s going to be jealous,” Beef says after a long moment, trying anything to make the scene less wrong.

The only sign that Bdubs has heard him is a tiny cough.

“I think he was, like, looking for radiation. And you found it on accident. He’ll probably do a Zedvancement on you when you get back.”

That gets a huff of a laugh. Bdubs doesn’t open his eyes.

Beef bites his lip. “Doing any better than this morning?”

Bdubs’s throat works. “A bit,” he rasps, voice barely there. This triggers a couple more coughs, his frame shaking.

They’re probably going to intubate him. They don’t want to, afraid that he’ll struggle to get off oxygen if they put him on it, but this is only the first day of illness and they’re already discussing it. Unless he gets better overnight, Bdubs is going to end up with a tube down his throat.

He looks so weak.

They’ve determined that he came in contact with the radioactive material about twenty-five days ago. He’s moving out of what they called the ‘latent period’, and the loss of hair means that he’s had higher exposure than they would have liked.

They said that his chance of survival is around 50%.

That is way, way too low. Probably lower with the illness that he’s caught. Beef sat in the window seat for about an hour as Bdubs napped and calculated possible percentages—with a mean of 50, if one assumed that each illness was one standard deviation below the mean, and say the standard deviation was 12—maybe even bigger—

Well, with that model, Bdubs’s chance of survival is 38%.

And with each passing hour, Beef can’t help but think that Bdubs’s score gets lower and lower.

-

They do end up intubating him. It helps him get through the cold that’s ravaging his system, but he’s too weak to get off supplemental oxygen afterwards. Beef is the only Hermit allowed to visit, and only dressed to the nines in PPE.

“You’ll be back in business in no time,” Scar says over a video call. Scar in particular is banned from visiting, even just to drop something off. “You’ve been lotioning your nose? That cannula will give you nosebleeds like nothing before!”

“Yeah,” Bdubs manages. “And then they don’t stop bleeding.”

His blood isn’t clotting very well. He’s had three nosebleeds so far, and every one of them has been an emergency.

The specialist doesn’t say it, but if he keeps bleeding, Bdubs’s chances of survival will keep dropping.

“When are you coming back?” asks Scar. Bdubs shrugs. His arm is getting tired of holding up the communicator, Beef can tell.

“Dunno. When the radiation runs out. And then I have to do . . . more things.”

“Bone marrow transfusions, blood transfusions,” Beef calls. He hears Scar make a humming sound.

“Sounds fun.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if you need anything, let us know, okay? I’ve still got some cookies around somewhere—”

“Not Elven Surprise—”

“Oh, no, no, no, that probably wouldn’t be very nice at all! But I’ll see what I can do.”

Bdubs nods, clearly worn out, and Beef stands, taking the communicator from him and leaving the room.

He glances back into the room as he closes the door. Bdubs’s eyes are already closed, his head slumped on his shoulder.

Once he’s in the hall, Beef looks down at the screen. Scar’s face is staring up at him, naked concern painted all over it.

“He doesn’t look so good,” Scar says.

Beef shrugs. “He’s right on track for recovery.”

It’s what he’s told everybody who tried to come visit, or called. He told Ren that the doctor said it’ll be a long time, but he should be okay. He told Etho that they put him on oxygen as a caution, not a necesity. He told Doc that Bdubs spent all afternoon chattering about his next build.

He smiled and lied through his teeth to everyone, and he can and will do it again.

But Scar sighs. “I can take the truth, Beef.”

And Beef breaks down.

“He couldn’t afford to get sick,” he chokes out, his throat suddenly thick, tears already spilling from his eyes. “I—sorry, man, I don’t usually—but—before he got sick, he only had, like, a fifty percent chance—and now it’s worse—”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.”

“He might not make it,” Beef says, ugly and raw and heartbreaking. “I don’t know what—I don’t know what to tell everyone, it shouldn’t be me here, it should be Etho or Pungence or—”

“Nobody could do it better than you,” Scar tells him. “You’ve got this, dude. We’re all here for you.”

Logically, Beef knows that’s true.

But he’s the only one here. He only sees the others briefly, when they stop by to drop off food or clothes—and even then, he doesn’t talk to them. He sees them from the opposite end of the hallway (he sometimes helps Bdubs into a wheelchair and pushes him to the door of his room just to wave at their friends, at Ren and Pearl and Xisuma or whoever else stopped by) or waves to them from the window, and that’s it.

“What do I do?” he whispers after a long moment. He grabs a tissue from the nearby nurse’s station (and the nurse gives him a sympathetic half-smile), uses it to dab at his eyes.

“Just keep trying, man. I know Bdubs appreciates it. We all do.” Scar sighs, an edge of laughter to the sound. “If I could hug you right now, I would.”

Beef chuckles wetly. “Then I’d have to put on all new plastic. Thanks, but no thanks.”

Scar smiles. “Yeah. An imaginary one, then.”

Even imaginary, Beef supposes, Scar hugs are the best.

-

“You’ll pull through,” Beef whispers, Bdubs’s limp hand held in his own.

He doesn’t know if he’s talking to his friend or to himself.

Bdubs has barely been conscious for the past three days. Beef has ignored every buzz of his communicator since he first took a turn for the worse, ever since he came down with another fever.

“We’ve already done two months. We can’t just give up now.”

He’s been awake for going on forty-eight hours now, but he can’t sleep.

He can’t leave Bdubs.

He doesn’t get that choice, though, as just a half hour later, Bdubs’s heart monitor starts beeping incessantly, and then there’s people flooding the room and Beef is escorted out.

Then he sits on the tile floor of the hallway and sobs into his knees.

-

Intubation doesn’t look good on Bdubs a second time.

-

Every single day is a fight.

Beef starts being honest with Xisuma, trusting him to spread the word around Hermitcraft. Bdubs isn’t doing well, but the doctors are hopeful. He got sick again. They have to take treatment slower. He’s off oxygen during the day. He’s back on it. He can’t keep food down. He was able to take a short walk today. He loves the potted plant. His scans aren’t looking good. They’re adjusting the treatment plan. He wants pictures of everyone’s builds. He slept all day. He still can’t keep food down. They’re bringing in a therapist to talk to them both.

It’s after the last message that Xisuma again suggests they take turns staying with Bdubs. Beef is resistant to the idea at first, but Bdubs’s doctor says it would be fine with proper PPE, so he relents.

He doesn’t really sleep, the nights he spends away. It isn’t right to be on Hermitcraft, his bedroom devoid of the clicking of the IV and the clunking of the heart monitor.

“We’ve got it,” Xisuma reassures him. “Rest.”

But Beef can’t do anything without thinking of Bdubs and how he isn’t here, so he continues to assume the main responsibility of being there for him, through the ups and downs and fights that follow.

Right up to the end.

-

“That’s the last one?”

Those are the first words out of Bdubs’s mouth when he wakes up, mumbled and half-formed, his eyes not even quite open.

“The last round of conditioning,” Beef reassures him, squeezing his arm. “Then you have the transplant next week.”

“Then we go home.”

“Then we stay a couple more weeks to make sure it works.”

“And then.” “And then we go home, yep.”

A smile quirks Bdubs’s lips. “I miss it.”

“I know, bud.”

It’s been eight months.

Eight of the most touch-and-go, harrowing months that Beef has ever endured.

“You can keep sleeping,” Beef says, releasing his grip to just pat Bdubs’s arm. “Etho’s not taking my place for another couple hours.”

It’s almost over. Just the bone marrow transplant, then an observation period, then home. Six months of recovery from the radiation poisoning, then two months of conditioning to prepare his body to receive the bone marrow transplant.

Then now.

Then home.

The doctor had been nothing short of jubilant when it became clear that Bdubs was going to pull through. She had repeatedly told Bdubs how proud she was, how he withstood the odds and came out on the other side.

It was a 25% chance of survival, in the most dire moments. Despite a couple of scares early on, everything went as well as could be hoped for—the medication, the skin graft, the conditioning. It was terrifying, and still is (there are still far too many things that can go wrong), but Beef doesn’t shoulder the weight of it alone anymore. Over the past months, every other Hermit (bar Scar) has sat with Bdubs for at least a day. When no one could take his place, they brought him food and games and called to share stories.

Beef just sat with his friend whenever he could, as he had from day one.

Just as he is now, his hand still resting on Bdubs’s arm.

Beef smiles.

Bdubs, already asleep, snores.

Just a few more weeks. Then home.

[evansbby]

Girl are you okay? Been hearing a lot of crazy riots in the uk and all this racism towards poc a lot more often

It’s been crazy and even though I’ve lived here 11 years, I still can’t believe how much the average white British person hates us (Muslims especially lol)

Like thankfully nothing happened in the area I live nor the area I work but I was still kinda on edge on Wednesday and Thursday. My sister works in immigration law so she worked from home bc they were literally targeting immigration law firms. I was also scared for my dad and brothers but thankfully nothing happened to them!!!

When I went into London for work on Wednesday, there was a lot of police on standby but mostly there were protestors who were protesting AGAINST the rioters which was nice to see.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

HIIII!!!!!!!!

I LOVE your human au and would be delighted If you could expound on Wally's relationship with the cast and how he views/ is viewed by others <3

I hope you have a good day/ night whenever you are and I wish your pillow always be cold 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️

ofc! i've been thinking about it a lot!

i would like to begin by saying that, as with canon, everyone likes Wally. as they should! i think that's an Important tidbit that should always carry across, at least in some way

Wally is... i think it's also important that he's a kind person. he loves deeply, is very forgiving and accepting, and he's just. he's a bizarre little man, and he's wonderful! there is not a malicious bone in his body! he finds delight & beauty in everything he can. he looks at his friends and is filled with deep contentment and joy and love. he's not blind to their flaws (and certainly not his own), but he never minds. those flaws are part of his friends, and he loves every bit of them!

and ok. Wally is not nearly as naive in this au as he is in canon. bc he's had a different life! he's had a rough go of it! unfortunately there's next to no way for normal people to grow up completely innocent & naive & pure, yk? life is harsh. Wally is not spared. he's incredibly kind despite it all. he's still in love with life and humanity. he smiles at strangers in the street & stops to watch bees pollinate flowers & sees parts of his friends in everything. he has many intense feelings even if he doesn't really show it or know how to convey them! he believes in the inherent goodness of people & beauty of being human!

there is a... very wide range of how people (outside of the Neighbors) view Wally. a lot of people find him slightly unsettling and really fucking weird, and well. he is! he's strange, and it's a wonderful part of him! but many don't see it that way. so he was ostracized by his peers in school (all the way through college), his coworkers (the few times he held a job before becoming a full-time artist), and most people in his local community. they just don't get him. they don't See him. Wally doesn't mind all that much! all of the important people in his life accept and love him for who he is, and he wouldn't even think of changing to fit the mold others want to shove him into.

then of course there are the people who treat him like a child, bc ableism is a thing and Wally's very noticeably autistic (even if people only notice subconsciously). this i think would be one of the very few things that outright annoys Wally, even if he doesn't really show it. but then there's the people who, while they might not get him (especially not to the extent his friends do), they accept him. like much of the art community he's involved in - even if a lot of them completely misinterpret his personality / mannerisms. they're all like "ohhhh he's so mysterious and ruminant" that's the 'tism, babes

BUT! YOU ASKED ABOUT SPECIFICALLY HIM AND THE NEIGHBORS! we'll save Barnaby for last since that's. uh. i have a lot to say about it. it's Very Complex in my mind

collectively, all of them love Wally a lot. which i've said! We Know! they also (mostly subconsciously) look for his approval - he's got a certain level of charisma that makes them all want him to like them. which, he does. obviously. unconditionally. and they're all protective of him & very patient with him. i think that's both a result of his natural rizz, how kind & patient he is with them, how well they understand him, and how he's a pacifist. he's their guy and woe befall anyone who dares cross him. (essentially, all of them collectively: the only constant is suffering - omg Wally!!! 💖💖💖)

we'll start with Frank! before he got to know Wally, he thought that Wally was an aloof asshole who thought he was better than everyone. then they started to directly interact and Frank realized "oh you're literally the nicest person i've ever met & also surprisingly relatable. you're just like me fr'. did he have a lil crush on Wally? yes. im saying it now literally everyone in the friend group (except local lesbians poppy & sally) has had at least a teensy crush on Wally at some point. but Frank deeply appreciates Wally's company & his complete lack of judgement. and how he gladly will let Frank talk for hours on end, chiming in with questions to prompt him to talk more! he also appreciates Wally's calm demeanor and vibes. he's one of those people that even when overwhelmed, Frank can handle having Wally around. he's like a human capybara! if Frank needs/wants a buddy with him for Situations, his go-to (after Julie ofc, though depending on the situation he'd pick Wally first) is Wally, since Wally Gets It. also Wally is unafraid to be like "wow, this kinda sucks! we're leaving", thus giving Frank an easy out. they just get along very well! ofc Frank can get frustrated with Wally, but then again he gets frustrated w/ everyone. but since Wally is patient with him, Frank tries to return the favor. also he's gotten into several fistfights over Wally's honor

Julie! she loves Wally so fucking much! he's her lil guy! even if he's kinda boring in a way! he's not very good at games or sports & would rather go on a relaxing walk than play Just Dance, but hey! he always makes Attempts, and she appreciates that! when they were younger and Julie & Sally & Poppy had girls nights (they continue to have girls' nights but everyone is involved. they still call it that tho), they'd often include Wally bc, yk! he's chill like that! Julie also massively respects his ability to say "no thank you" to anything without compromise. if he ever says it to her, she knows that he doesn't mean Any ill will by it! there's a sort of comfort in that! she knows she can be herself around him! also he's just... very good company. he's a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a willing victim & confidante for elaborate schemes! he visits her at work Purely because he knows it delights her to see a friendly face in the middle of a grueling shift! he's always been a bit of a lighthouse to her!

and while Sally can be a little exasperated with how literal Wally is, she finds no small amount of solidarity with him As A Fellow Artist. when they first became friends, they caught on like a house on fire! she mentioned the artistic side of theater, and Wally was immediately on board. then and going forward Wally is always willing and more than happy to assist with painting sets, art advertisements for her performances, etc! they have little brainstorming sessions where she rambles about what she wants sets / costumes to look like, and Wally sketches them out! since Sally was a theater kid and goes on to work in that department (locally, usually), Wally often gets first read of her scripts. Sally highly values Wally's opinion and input. if he's free, sometimes he helps teach the actors' the show choreography. Sally runs through it with him, Wally soaks up the moves like a sponge & memorizes them, and hey! he loves to teach! Sally just. she loves him a lot. they're both artists of a sophisticated nature <3

Howdy thinks Wally is real neat! Wally is good company and is (often unintentionally) hilarious! he's also like... the one person Howdy refuses to scam in any way shape or form. tricking grandmas into buying more than they need? no sweat. tricking Wally into spending slightly more money than intended? Howdy feels like a fucking monster. but yeah, Howdy's just always delighted to see Wally! he likes Wally's unique view of the world and often takes it into consideration when making decisions. when he's stuck on something, he thinks WWWD (what would Wally do!). Howdy also is the one who most often accompanies Wally to his art shows & the like, bc he knows that Wally will accept the first price offer he hears - and Howdy is determined that his incredible works of art are paid for their worth! nobody is gotta cheat his pal outta a single cent! he just likes having Wally around, you know?

Wally & Poppy have an interesting relationship, i think! he tells the cashier "she asked for no pickles" for her! she makes sure he always has a soft place to land! he kinda confuses her, but she finds it endearing in a way? he displays a personality/behavioral quirk and she's like "oh. well alright!" and rolls with it very gracefully. they appreciate each other's mellow demeanor and proclivity for peace. Poppy knows she can always have a nice, quiet conversation with him over tea (even if he doesn't drink it!). and he's always willing to help with anything and everything she needs, no question. i think i've made this joke on this blog before but! in way! he's her emotional support animal lmao. a hand to squeeze to death on an airplane! also it's funny for me to picture a 6'8 woman hunched behind this 5'2 shrimp of a man as if he can hide her

it takes a little bit for Eddie to adjust to Wally's bizarre nature! like i've said, Eddie connects with the group when they're all in their late 20s. he hasn't had over a decade of being friends with Wally like the rest of them. he likes Wally plenty! definitely grows to love him! but it's an adjustment. Wally consistently startles him very easily (Wally is naturally quiet and has a habit of appearing out of nowhere), and Eddie has a hard time getting a read on him. most people do! and also Wally is very handsome/pretty, and that throws Eddie off a bit (it's hard to think when someone so attractive is staring directly into your eyes without blinking) but once he gets somewhat used to Wally & understands as much as he can, he very much appreciates Wally's company & friendship! they find (somewhat subconscious) solidarity in being the kindest and most helpful people in the clique! and Wally is a wonderful island of peace in a turbulent world. Eddie never minds sitting with him for a cup of coffee in the early morning during his route, even if it means his workday ends a few minutes later than usual.

other supporting cast like Wally as well. Ms. Beagle kinda views him as a second son! the Joyful siblings will always find him a little weird and unsettling, but they're nice enough to him. Howdy's family thinks he's neat. etc! but lets talk about Barnaby!

Wally is literally everything to Barnaby. that's his person. there is literally no one that comes before Wally in his eyes and heart. their relationship is and always has been very nontraditional To Me (in this au and somewhat how i view them overall! its complicated!). Wally never subscribed to or understood societal norms, and as a result, Barnaby wound up pretty much shunning them as well when it comes to his lil buddy. their relationship isn't romantic - Wally is very aro and Barnaby just does not feel that way about him, not really. but at the same time it's certainly not entirely platonic!

neither of them can imagine being separated. they met in 7th grade and have been glued together ever since. they've been through some tough shit together! they know each other better than anyone! you cannot have one without the other! they're more than a package deal - they're Inseparable! Barnaby has had many a nightmare of Wally leaving in one way or another, and it scares him more than anything. to him, he can weather any storm as long as Wally is by his side. they obviously don't spend every moment together, but at the end of the day they always come home to each other.

Barnaby just... he loves and respects and values Wally so much. he wants his approval, his attention, his company. sometimes he scares himself by considering the lengths he'd go to for Wally. there is no one he's more comfortable with or feels he understands / is understood by. if somebody has a problem with Wally, they have a problem with Barnaby. if Wally jumped off a cliff, Barnaby would not hesitate to leap after him! Wally says jump, Barnaby asks how high! he's not a violent person at all, but teen Barnaby once broke a bully's jaw for goin' a little too far w/ Wally

is their relationship a smidge unhealthy? a lil codependent? yes <3 yes it is <3 but we all know that Wally would never use this against Barnaby. on his side of the coin, Barnaby is his person as well! Wally has never imagined his life without Barnaby because it just does not occur to him that that's a possibility. there are many things that only Barnaby knows about Wally, sides only he's seen. there's complete & unconditional trust/love between them. they hotbox Home together <3

[koropukgoro]

Actually I will ramble a bit cuz my friend & I do have a hc we’ve been playing off of that involves tiny Vash but since it’s canon in stampede that Vash can change the density of his Gate & in maximum (my preferred trigun) how Vash can grow really Big and Monstrous (so can Knives) if he adds to his mass so he can support his size that maybe an Opposite effect can happen. While growing, Vash needs added mass to support his weight, but the bigger he gets, the more inhuman and more of a flesh singularity he becomes; that growth also causes him to lose his identity and get consumed by himself temporarily. Because I’m a silly guy who likes thinking his GT with logic… but also… maybe when Vash overuses plant juices, or his body needs to fall into recovery mode after extreme body harm / near fatal situations (or extreme psychological stress), he goes into what my friend and I call “power saving mode”. Back up battery. His body shrinks. Size varies but the smallest he’s gotten is 2 inches. There’s an inherent fear he has if he pushes himself over his limits he might go quantum & never recover… like how in stampede he shrunk his Gate into a quantum state… it’s a very round about kind of canon aligned hc to make Vash shrink and be tiny. And cuz he neglects his plant powers so much he can’t control it… not until much much later in maximum… but he mostly can’t… also reflects his plant ability to absorb / store energy and release it.

Something something we’ve had scenarios where Vash’s body & mind gets so stressed out mini psychotic break or physical issue just causes him to shrink in his hotel room in front of Wolfwood & the Girls… and basically whatever’s on him at the time shrinks too so what he’s wearing n stuff… hehehe itty bitty & a lil squeaky and definitely extremely nervous exchanges between handling & being handled. Also accidentally freaking out his companions. Being small reminds him he’s not human & it makes him feel a lil self conscious…

[damndorothea]

just finished watching the THG movies today... i cannot even process everything

[its-tortle]

this was the kiss he’d been waiting for. it was a gunshot. it was prairie fire. it was the spin of makker’s wheel. jesper felt the pounding of his heart—or was it wylan’s?—like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, oh.