#Love being able to include that tag in an outfit post

[chiotri-loves-davekat]

Am I cooking? (Highschool orientation fit check)

[nariism]

pair. pro player!itoshi rin x gn!reader

here i am pushing the agenda that rin has jealousy problems because of his abandonment issues.... (´°ω°`)

itoshi rin who was insistent that you not tag along for this party, until you looked so offended you might sleep on the couch instead of in bed next to him.

itoshi rin who was already mildly jealous the very second he saw you step out of your shared bedroom wearing such a pretty outfit. he groaned to himself because he just knew all the other members of his team would be asking for a dance with you just to piss him off. vultures, the lot of them.

itoshi rin who thinks it's absolutely infuriating how oblivious you are to the staring and gawking from other people. but you just look so happy to be there and he can't help but show you off; his treasure, the most important person in his life, the eighth wonder of the world. his pride and joy. his whole heart.

itoshi rin who leaves for literally two minutes to go to the bathroom, and when he comes back with a drink in his hand he nearly shatters the glass with his grip because he sees shidou trying to chat you up.

itoshi rin who actually does end up accidentally breaking the glass in his hands. everyone turns to look at him funny with his sudden outburst. including you, with that concerned expression that makes him feel like he's about to fucking combust in shame for not being able to control his temper.

itoshi rin who's a complaining mess when you sit him down to clean the cuts on his hand and bandage him, laughing about how easy he is to rile up. he can't even find it in himself to be upset anymore, not when your fingers are delicately working against his like this.

itoshi rin who finally relaxes for the rest of the night when you cling to him, refusing to let go even as you're leaving the venue. you just make him feel so loved, so cherished, how could he not want you all to himself?

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

[sabrgirl]

ramadan 30 day challenge

introducing the ramadan 30 day challenge!

I made this challenge in the hopes of catering to as many people as I can - so, regardless of anyone's home situation, health, money, whether or not you live near a mosque or a community etc, I think it is somewhat do-able or adaptable for all! you can access anything you need for this (verses/surahs from the Qur'an for eg) online. I also know that for some people (depending on countries etc), ramadan is either 29 or 30 days, so it's fine to finish on the 29th day if necessary.

if you miss a couple days as well (or end up seeing this post halfway through ramadan), just pick up from whatever day of ramadan it is!

it starts off easy and gets harder as you go along! i'm also going to be doing this ramadan challenge and posting my own updates on here, Insha’Allah! if you do this too, please do tag me because I would love to see how people are getting on! ♡ here it is:

recite surah ikhlas 3 times

recite durood sharif 3 times

read Qur'an after asr

recite the 3 Quls (last 3 surahs of the Qur'an) in the evening/before sleeping today

listen to an islamic podcast

write down 5 things you are grateful to Allah for on paper or phone notes app

istighfar 100 times

read all of surah mulk before bed

wake up for tahajjud and pray (at least) 2 rakaats

learn 5 names/attributes of Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ

do something nice for somebody else - can even be very small and will still be rewarded for it

wear your favourite abaya/thobe/modest clothing for every salah today. look your best for Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ in your prayer like you would to go to a special event

give some (charity) sadaqah (create a sadaqah jar/box!)

read the last 2 verses of surah baqarah before sleeping

make a du'a for your friends and family - name them and pray for something specific for each of them

read all of surah Ya Sin after fajr

pray 2 nafl rakaats (voluntary prayer) today after the 2 sunnah rakaats of zuhr

no backbiting/gossiping about anyone at all and 2 nafl rakaats (voluntary prayer) if you do

pick a surah from the Qur'an and read the commentary for each verse

memorise the dua to recite on laylatul qadr اللَّهُمَ�� إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي Allahumma innaka 'Afuwwun, tuhibbul 'afwa, fa'fu 'anni "O Allah, You are indeed Forgiving and love to forgive, so forgive me."

donate to a charity (for palestine!!). even the smallest amount will be beneficial + rewarded by Allah

recite ayatul kursi after each 5 fard (obligatory) salah

pray all the 12 sunnah today: 2 rakaats before Fajr; 4 rakaats before zuhr and two rakaats after; 2 rakaats after Maghrib; and 2 rakaats after Ishaa

pray (at least) 2 rakaats of taraweeh (either at the mosque or at home by yourself/with family!)

pray 2 rakaats of duha (optional) prayer - it is between 15 minutes after sunrise until zuhr time. (not after zuhr!!)

recite subhanallahi wabihamdi, subhanallahil adheem 100 times - (Glory be to Allah and all praise is due to Him, glory be to Allah, the Great)

be extra modest today (tailored to you. wear hijab outside if you don't, or wear your loosest outfit or lower your gaze completely (including lowering it on social media) today etc. whatever being extra modest is for you, do that today).

pray on time, no procrastination or delays. check what local time each prayer is for you and pray then (unless you're praying at the mosque!)

istighfar x1000 times

pray some of the nawafil ON TOP OF all the sunnah prayers that accompany the 5 obligatory prayers: - 2 rakaats of duha prayer - 2 rakaats after the 2 sunnah rakaats of zuhr - 4 rakaats before asr - 2 rakaats after the 2 sunnah rakaats of maghrib - 2 rakaats after the 2 sunnah rakaats of ishaa (extra challenge: wake up for tahajjud too)

level extreme: if you want an extra extra challenge, you can continue doing each one every day as you go along. so day 1 would be recite surah ikhlas 3 times and day 2 would be recite surah ikhlas and durood sharif 3 times, day 3 would be recite surah ikhlas and durood sharif 3 times and read Qur'an after asr... and you get the gist. if you do this, good luck on day 30 when you have 30 things to do lol

note: giving sadaqah (charity) can be adapted if donating money is a struggle - for eg, doing dhikr on behalf of somebody else can count as sadaqah. click here for more info on this.

may Allah make this challenge easy for whoever intends to participate and let the deeds indeed be multiplied by 100 this ramadan and forgive us for our shortcomings, Ameen ♡

[scary-monsters]

5k feels like an adequate milestone to host my very first "draw this in your style" challenge, and it feels correct to use my personal take on a modern au diego brando for subject matter 🧡 rules and other stuff under the cut! whether you're participating or not, thank you so much for being here and enjoying my art :')) it means a lot to me

for this dtiys, i would love to see other artists' takes on a modern au diego! please include the following:

something he's listening to (music, podcast, yt video, etc)

something on his phone screen (could be a text, a game, a website, anything!)

a cute little outfit of some kind ("cute" is subjective, i just want to see him in something other than his canon outfit!)

any pose is fine, doesn't have to be half-body, can be a bust if that's all you're able to do! i'm mostly interested in seeing y'all's headcanons expressed through art

if you don't have headcanons as far as any of those things go, no worries! drawing my version will work perfectly fine! in fact i would love that just as much :')) he is dear to me..

additionally, to be considered for a prize:

make sure you tag me in the post, and include the "diego brando" tag as well just to be safe since i actively track his tag on here! i may miss it otherwise, and i would hate to miss anything!

you must post the art on here specifically! if you post elsewhere on other sites i will hopefully see and interact with it too, but it must be posted here primarily

you must be following me!

prizes will be in the form of two sketches and one fully rendered portrait, gifted to three separate people. i will not be choosing based on perceived art skill or personal relationships!! i just want to see other people's takes on my favorite character in the world 🧡🙏🏻

deadline is currently december 15th!! this may change, depending on my own schedule and other people expressing a desire for more time, i'm not in any rush!

[brilla-brilla-estrellita]

Stitchy Sunday!

As predicted, this is a day late, but I was off having a lovely cottage on the lake weekend with my friends followed by a Hobo Johnson concert. We're just going to pretend this is on time.

So thank you to @roomwithanopenfire @thewholelemon @blackberrysummerblog @tender-ministrations @artsyunderstudy

@emeryhall and @ic3-que3n for tagging me in your S-allerated Sunday posts!

As promised, today is the final outfit reveal for my Simon-inspired Ren Faire wings!

Wings closed, front and back:

Wings open, front and back:

I didn't get to make any of my other adjustments (like stronger magnets), but I did discover that the magnets are adjustable, meaning I can loosen or tighten the screws they're on to make the wings sit a little higher/lower and ensure the wings aren't tilted. I made them as tight as possible (so they sat as high as possible) and tbh I had no issues with them?? Was this the fix I needed all along?

When we arrived at the fairgrounds, I put the wings on, and as I tightened the straps the rivet popped off the left strap. I thought "Did I just do all this work to break them at the last minute and not be able to wear them?" Yet I was oddly calm, resigned to my fate. I asked Kat to see if she could jerry-rig it just in case. She slipped the disconnected top strap through the adjuster-thingy and... it worked??? We are unsure why this was so successful, but I had NO problems with it all day.

I got lots of comments, complements, and a few picture/video demonstration requests, validating my own belief that the wings are cool as shit. The LARPers were especially impressed. And becuase the fair was expanded this year, including more open space and less crowded walkways, I was even able to walk around with them open for a bit! And I didn't knock anything over inside the booths, either!

I also got my first trinkets from trinket-traders because they liked my wings!

I did not come prepared with my own trinkets as I have never been cool before, so I'm workshopping some ideas for next year, including: polished rocks (dragon horde shinies), painted bottle caps (perhaps with a dragony logo on each one?), sea glass (does require effort of going out and finding the sea glass...), scales (not sure what they'd be made of, though. 3D printed and painted? acrylic? gotta be a simpler solution...). Suggestions welcome.

Bonus: As we watached the joust, I of course started to build a Snowbaz Ren Faire AU based around the semi-scripted joust performances we have each year. I doubt I'll ever write it, but it's fun to think about!

I would like to thank Kat for being my Ladie's Maid every year and helping me get into my corset and, now, wings. Also for driving. I would also like to thank Dropout's D20: A Starstruck Odyssey and Netflix's Dead Boy Detectives for being my companions throughout this project. And of course, thank you to all of my Simon Snow friends for the enthusiasm and encouragement along the way!

Next year's upgrade: Tail!

Tagging even though it's late:

@bookish-bogwitch @onepintobean @technetiumai @martsonmars  @cutestkilla

@fatalfangirl @ileadacharmedlife @moodandmist @palimpsessed  @skeedelvee

@theimpossibledemon @shrekgogurt @cccloudsss @mooncello @monbons

@theearlgreymage @youarenevertooold @larkral @facewithoutheart @messofthejess

[mikesgaylittlethoughts]

'when blue and yellow meet in the west'

Hello byler tumblr (if you're seeing this)! This is a remake of an old post of mine about the (byler-centric) color coding in the show !! I wanted to remake it cuz I read it again recently and have some new thoughts about it. Sorry if this is all a bit redundant.

At this point we all know about the blue and yellow thing. Mike's color is blue, Will's color is yellow.

This will be a post analysing the use of colors in their outfits and enviroments, and what those colors could mean and possibly tell us.

⭑ Season 1:

The first time we see them, Mike is wearing a fully blue sweater while Will sports a plaid, blue and yellow shirt.

When Mike first met El, he was wearing a blue hoodie in basically the same shade as his sweater (the outfit he chose to go looking for Will), and El was wearing a yellow shirt.

That's actually really interesting, considering Mike's s4 v2 monologue where he says he fell in love with El at first sight. This was their first sight, back when most people (including Mike) thought El was a boy, when several people mistook her for Will, and when she was wearing Will's color. The yellow Benny's Burgers t-shirt is actually one of the main things Mike remembers from that day.

After meeting El and bringing her home, the sweater he gives her is his blue sweater.

This is the start of a theme that was brought to my attention in @62percentmaplesyrup 's post (sorry for the tag and thank you so much for the help!), where El wears blue, Mike's color, to appease to him.

El's actual color is pink, or red. It's the color that makes her feel the most like herself. When she sees herself in that dress, she finally feels pretty.

Going back a few episodes to episode 2, when Mike is bonding with El for the first time, his outfit gains red tones, which makes sense now that we know it's Eleven's color.

It has a few streaks of yellow, but it's still mostly blue. The way I see it, yellow details can signify his bond and connection with Will, just like green. He was getting to know El, but she also signified hope for them to be able to find Will.

The night they find Will's fake body in the quarry and the day after, Mike wears a green and black shirt. Green, his and Will's colors, and black, the traditional color of mourning.

His shirt is white, red and yellow when they go out to look for the gate. Yellow for Will being in his mind, and red for the trust he puts in El to help them find him, as she brought them hope once again.

Unfortunately, he has a bad fight with Lucas regarding El, in which she panics and accidentally hurts him, cue Mike's "what's wrong with you" part 2, and El running away. Mike's hope for finding Will is gone once again, and the shirt he wears after that is white, green and yellow.

Then we have the quarry scene. Troy threatens Dustin with a knife and tells Mike to jump into the quarry if he wants to save Dustin's teeth.

Mike jumps. He jumps into the quarry where Will's body was found, while wearing a green jacket with blue accents.

He was still wearing this same shirt during his first kiss with El,

and when they got Will back.

I went into a lot of detail during this season just for us to have a basis to continue. I won't add as much content from the next seasons, I'll only try to get some key points, for the sake of clarity and this not becoming tedious and boring.

⭑ Season 2:

The arcade scene, aka Mike not giving a damn about Princess Daphne and being worried about Will, happened with Mike and Will wearing shirts with matching blue, red and white stripes, which is adorable. Will wore a green jacket and Mike's is kind of blue?

Mike not giving a damn about Max and being worried about Will (pt2) had him in blue with red stripes.

The red stripes make a lot of sense, as although Will was his priority, El was still in his mind and he tried to call her everyday for 353 days. Those stripes continue onto a lot of his other outfits this season. Interestingly, almost every outfit Will wears this season also has those red stripes.

Blue and yellow shirt, blue hoodie, blue and yellow blanket, green pillow. No comment needed.

Mike wears this outfit the entire time he's with Will.

This season has El start trying to figure out who she is and where she belongs. Her episode 7 outfit was her trying to fit in with others that are "like her", only to realize she doesn't feel like she belongs there at all.

Mike was still wearing the blue and yellow outfit in the shed scene.

"It was the best thing I've ever done."

At the Snow Ball, Mike is wearing browns and greys, and just like Maple pointed out, El is wearing blue. The pink accents are extremely subdued, El is still trying to cater to what Mike likes, and not herself. She's not wearing purple, the mix of her and Mike's colors, either.

Pink and blue being El and Mike's color combination is honestly funny. It's the most heteronormative color combination out there.

⭑ Season 3:

This season starts off strong with Mike and El making out. Right off the bat, El's flannel is mostly blue, and Mike is wearing mostly yellow. This is where my theory comes in: too much yellow for Mike means repression. It's another pattern that will continue to come up in the series.

My guess is that the blue denim vest he's wearing over the yellow is for the wonderfully homoerotic lumax-byler double date scene, where he looks at Will's lips like twice and they're both blushing around each other.

Now they're both wearing blue.

I wanna add something Maple said here, about Mike pushing El away the more feminine she becomes. I find it interesting that to appease to Mike, El wears the stereotypically masculine color.

Here's Mike, lying to El in his yellow shirt.

Here's El, being happy and having fun being herself for once. Notice the pink headpiece that she chose!!

Also the colorful outfit she chose, almost like to match Max's!

And here's Mike lying to her again.

Where else is Mike not being honest?

Right here.

He wasn't being honest with Will, and he definitely wasn't being honest with himself. This whole season, he's been trying to distance himself from things that are "childish", "immature", and from the things that remind him of Will. Lucas is dating Max, Dustin is Dating Suzie, and Mike has El but deep down he knows it's not the same thing, knows he doesn't feel for her the same way that his friends feel for their girlfriends, and that terrifies him.

He projects onto Will, here. The truth is Mike wants to spend forever with Will, he's always wanted to, but that's one of the thoughts he was led to think are childish and stupid. He didn't think Will would want that, too, and the second he finds out Will did want it just as much as him, he regrets it immediately.

Will bikes away, and Mike throws on his green jacket.

Will is his priority, forever and always. He's the only one that can make Mike actually own up to his mistakes without blaming them on everyone else. And Mike was so scared here, so sure he just lost his best friend forever, sure he ruined everything. Will never hears him apologize, and this conflict doesn't really get resolved until season four, when even more tension has built up between them.

By the end of the season, he goes blue again.

He doesn't react well at all to El's kiss. He seems confused and upset.

I do think this was his very real realization of his current situation. Mike is so lost, scared and confused. So many feelings and thoughts are piling up and hurting him all at once. He just realized he doesn't love his girlfriend the way he's supposed to, that he lost her anyway, that he lost Will again and that it hurts more than he could imagine and he's never going to be the same. He canonically goes deep into depression and self-isolation after this.

i can't believe it, but i'm gonna need to make a part two.

it's here

[wintfleur]

Pictures that remind you of Stella and Juraj

౨ৎ pictures that remind me of stella and juraj

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( hi tysm for sending in the request !!! So sorry it took so long I just wasn’t really get any inspiration for this at first, but I loved making it. I hope you enjoy it !! )

°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )

au masterlist — you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ stella and juraj’s photo gallery ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

.❀。they are the king and queen of taking faceless pictures! No one knew about there kinda relationship as it was happening besides Cole, Luke, lily and Carmen. They wanted to keep it a secret and didn’t want to risk her other two brothers finding out about them. Stella was a little cheeky and posted a few pictures, including this one, and Quinn, Trevor and Jack would not stop blowing up her phone asking who it is !!! 📸 by Stella Hughes

.❀。Stella loved juraj’s hands so muchhh, she loved how small hers were compared to his, and so did he !!! She took quite a lot of pictures of them comparing each others hand sizes, Juraj always teasing her and calling her itty bitty ( he was obsessed with saying it when Stella taught him and Stella thinks it’s adorable how he pronounces it ) 📸 by stella hughes

.❀。they spent a lot of time in juraj’s apartment, they didn’t want to get caught and they just enjoyed being alone and not having to hide. Stella loves to bake and to the best of his abilities he tried to shower her a few Slovak recipes. The time they spent in the kitchen was always filled with laughter and lots of kisses.

.❀。juraj loves Stella and her bows, loving how she always found a away to incorporate them into her outfits or anything really. This photo was taken when Stella joined Cole to a dinner with some of his teammates, and Cole being the best person he is, had Stella sit between him and juraj. It was a great night, he had his hand on her thigh most of the night. He had texted her and said “if only it was the two of us, it would be a perfect date” 📸 by Juraj Slafkovsky

.❀。stella was filming a YouTube video of her coming to visit Cole and going sightseeing seeing in Quebec, Stella was doing a small little haul of the cute trinkets she had gotten and juraj came and kissed her, the two of them were kissing for a while until Stella pulled away with a gasp, remembering that she was still filming. She had some cutting to do, but she did save the video and jokingly sent it to juraj with a “when you miss me 💋”

.❀。again the king and queen of faceless pictures, juraj accidentally posted this picture on his instagram story but he quickly deleted it, but it was too late fans had tooo screenshots and spread it. Thankfully you can’t tell that it’s Stella, but fans still speculate and lots of people still belive that they were together. They are right but neither of them has said anything about that, ignoring the speculation. This picture was taken when they stayed at a couple and had there own little vacation 📸 by Juraj slafkovsky

.❀。juraj was literally her personal bear, she could always just cuddle up to him and squeeze him, he was always warm and she was always cold so he always would warm her up. Stella just clings to him, holding onto him, juraj loves it, loving the feeling of her pressed up against him 📸 by Cole Caufield

.❀。juraj is big and Stella is tiny compared to him, juraj loved being able to just pick stella up and hold him in his arms, or how well she fit snuggled up into him. Stella loved how safe she felt in his warm embrace. 📸 by Stella Hughes

.❀。sadly there kinda relationship was mostly long distance when Stella couldn’t come up to visit. They would spend hours and I mean hours on the phone together, even falling asleep on call, and neither one of them wanted to hang up when they notice the other had fallen asleep. She had an album of all the pictures/ screenshots she took while they were on call, and he still has his. 📸 by Juraj slafkovsky

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( dude Stella juraj were so cute I can’t :( notice how Stella is was, had, loved. And juraj is, is, has, loves 😭 )

°. — taglist ( @privatemythss @prettyboywoll @cixrosie @toasttt11 )

[emry-stars-art]

EDIT: PENCIL HAS BEEN REPLACED AND IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING AGAIN!! Thank you to those who donated, you have my ENTIRE heart for now and always

Hiii I’m back to bother you all again with technical difficulties. Long story short, if I have diagnosed the problem properly, I need a new Apple Pencil! And if I’m wrong I’ll need to replace both my pencil and the iPad itself!! But (and I am sure this will surprise no one that’s read this far) - I have no money 🥲

This isn’t quite a 100% necessary expense. I still have a handful of job applications sent out that are still waiting on replies, and hopefully I’ll have some more income sooner rather than later - but since comms and art have been one of my main sources of income this year, this is gonna be a decent problem for a little bit 😅 in the meantime I’m going to reach into the void and boost some stuff and offer additional ways that maybe I can earn some money for the month!

So if you do happen to have extra cash, some ways that would help a ton: my patreon (this month’s star tier sticker is going to be an aftg mermay design of some sort or another), my etsy, my kofi shop, or plain old kofi donations. But I also wanna be able to sweeten the pot a little, so there’s more!

I’m selling a couple original pieces over on kofi as well, including Raven Kevin, the Jean & Jeremy piece, and the og mermay comic from last year 👀

I’m taking low-stakes sketch commissions, also on kofi! For 15usd you can drop an aftg/tsc sketch request, and if you want to be tagged when I post it, leave your url as well! Additional characters for a little extra, and you can drop specific reqs - give me thoughts, ideas, meme redraws, outfits, or ask for a specific scene or specific au of mine (sure is a good month for mermaids 👀). I’d also take requests of my own ocs, but unfortunately for these kinds of sketch requests I won’t be taking others ocs.

All that being said, of course I understand if donating isn’t possible for you rn, so I’m not trying to make you feel guilty about scrolling past lol. If you’d like something free to do you can also just leave a nice comment or tag on something I’ve drawn to get my mind off the issues 😅 thank you so much to all you lovely people who support me in every way, it’s literally my livelihood and makes me so happy every day to make you happy, so! I hope you all have a wonderful time zone, and I hope you’re as excited for more merms as I am 😌💕

[drowsyr]

top ten stobin halloween costumes:

10. barbie and ken. well actually ken and ken bc there was some miscommunication over who was going as who (steve figured robin was going as barbie bc Girl and robin just wanted to go as ken and figured it would be a better costume if they swapped dolls and then did not communicate this to steve) however nobody knew who they were supposed to be bc there was no iconic ken outfit at the time

9. garfield and odie. just made up of dog/cat ear headbands, yellow/orange shirts, and new name tags on their family video vest. lazy perhaps

8. jonathan + argyle. universally panned by the party bc neither of them had long enough hair to effectively be argyle. esp bc robin went as argyle and had just recently gotten a buzzcut in a panic the week before and the funky patterned pants and button up combo artfully curated at the salvation army could not compensate. however steve’s costume included constant comments abt the smiths, the who, the clash etc which did go over especially well with nancy and argyle

7. marty mcfly. steve tried to convince robin to be the love interest from the movie but only got as far as saying love interest before robin interrupted and asked if he even knew her name (he didn’t and neither did she) and said her dad already had the vest so she should get to be marty mcfly!! at which point steve was like ugh fine. and thought about admitting that he could ask dustin for a lab coat to borrow or ask max to steal one from the science lab but didn’t bc he couldn’t stand the thought of wrecking his hair to look like doc brown. so they just ended up both going as marty mcfly. dustin was doc brown

6. luke and han solo. actually accidental they independently showed up to a party while having a minor fight and realized they were still in matching costumes. drunkenly cried in the upstairs bathroom and made up. this was pre robin’s haircut and was one of the Incidents she gave as evidence for why she needed to cut her hair

5. batman and robin. robin was able to successfully bully steve into being robin. done before robin-with-pants became recognizable so they settled on green-dyed denim shorts (a lovely contribution from the goodwill). robin strangerthings had a fully decked out utility belt lovingly rendered in cardboard and acrylic paint by will with oversight from max. max herself has gone as batman as well (and wonder woman obviously) and used the same utility belt.

4. luke and leia. only successfully coordinated movie costume. this was post robin’s haircut so she went as luke and steve went as leia. obviously went as the classic versions to match even more.

3. their dnd characters as portrayed in an epic six week campaign run by erica sinclair the summer of 1987. caused chaos in the party who had not known about said campaign at the time of it being played and were only slightly devastated by the fact that they hadn’t been informed. only erica and dustin knew who they were dressed as but erica was thrilled :)

2. butterfly + caterpillar. robin dated an art/sculpture student while in college who was really into papier mache. she made them overly elaborate costumes to model for a final project + and they took them back from her dorm after the brutal breakup brought on by a disagreement over joan jett. steve was the butterfly and robin was the caterpillar. they were theeee most inconvenient costumes to wear to a party but they got a lot of compliments and it was a great story to tell people

1. each other obviously. repeated at least four(/“five”. it’s disputed) times, including twice in one year when they were trying to hit as many costume parties as possible in one week. they still argue that the year where halloween was just on a tuesday and they swapped name tags for their shift totally counts. this is not one of the four times.

[japage3moondog]

the beatles on tour hc's

john lennon

john insists you go on tour with the band, he'll practically drag you onto the plane. he wants you as close to him as possible at all times, if he could have you on stage with him he would.

when he's packing he gets you to pick out your favourite guitar from his collection and that's the one he plays at every set. he also makes sure your favourite songs are on each set list if he can help it.

paul macca

he makes sure you are 100% prepared for the tour and you know exactly what to expect. he writes out itineraries for you with little love notes at the bottom. it's really hard to be able to go out together so he puts all his love into organising the days you can't see each other.

he will purposely pack either matching or coordinating outfits with you for every day. if you ever have to buy clothes on the trip, he will come with you and he will buy the same thing in his size, no matter what.

george harrison

he ensures you sit somewhere visible to him at every show because seeing you soothes his nerves, especially since he's playing to thousands of people. if you're in the wings, he's constantly looking over at you.

he loves being able to travel with you. visiting new places is one of his favourite parts of his job and he loves being able to share that with you. even if most of the tours are just the same 20 cities in the US. if he can he weasels your home town into the tour.

ringo starr

he lets you sit in his lap on planes when you don't need seatbelts on. especially if you have a fear of flying or if you're just nervous, he'll hold your hand or try to get seats that are more private. if it's a long flight and it's not too crowded he'll sing to you.

buys you a souvenir from every city. you more key chains then you do keys at this point. sometimes, he'll buy post cards and write you these really elaborate letters on them and hand them to you in person even if you're only spending a couple hours apart.

all together now

their riders always include something for you. like your favourite sweets or a bouquet of flowers. one time you showed up to the green room to find their usual demands and a pair of skimpy underwear. needless to say brian now double checks every rider for any funny business.

because of how intense fans get, it was a battle to get you to be able to come on tour. your boyfriend (whichever bug it may be) threatened to back out of the tour if you weren't allowed to tag along. your relationship is still kept private tho.

[rainbowsky]

hi rainbowsky, love your blog and your very articulate and sane view of things. It’s been very calming and comforting when there’s so much noise (and hate) in the world. So, thank you!

Curious your take on wyb wearing a bandana hanging from his left belt hook, at the Shu Uemura event today. And not a designer bandana, like the Chanel one he had on his backpack on recent trip to Japan.

I immediately thought of 1970s San Francisco gay culture, men would signal their orientation by hanging them from left side, right side, back pocket (L/R). Not thinking too much about color significance since red is Shu Uemura’s brand color. I don’t know anything about the new ad campaign he’s doing with them, but 1970 and 1971 were on 2 posters behind where he was seated.

It just flashed on me so I’d thought I’d ask. 🧐 🤡

Hi Hellopedey! Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

Inquiring minds want to know: is DD trying to signal to the world that he wants to stick his fist up their ass for Shu Uemura?

You aren't the only person to take note of this. I've seen people mentioning hanky code in the tags of reblogs of my post of the photos from that event, and I've seen people talking about it on Twitter, too. It's become quite a topic since the event.

This is a question that has come up a few times in the past, but alas - it's often impossible to find old posts on Tumblr, so rather than being able to point to my previous post about it I will just re-answer.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Long story short: I don't believe for one hot second that DD is using hanky code. There are a lot of reasons I feel this way, and I'll get to that in a minute, but the number one thing I want to bring home for people is that:

Everyone is allowed to wear hankies without assumptions being made about their sexual activity/preferences.

Including you, Hellopedey, and every other reader. Maybe that's not as much of a relief to some readers as it would be to those who happen to be queer and heavily sexualized by others, but it should take a load off some minds. 😅

You know that old saying, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar*?" Well, sometimes a hanky is just a hanky. I'd go so far as to say that a hanky is almost always just a hanky. Even if worn by a gay man.

*Incorrectly attributed to Freud, the origin of that quote is actually unknown.

Here are just a few reasons it's obvious to me DD isn't signalling (and I can't believe I have to say this, because it seems obvious to me):

Location, location, location. Please remember that hanky code is used when people are looking for sex. DD is at a brand event. He's not looking for sex.

His outfit is likely put together by a stylist, and that stylist is unlikely to be trying to hook him up with people for sex.

Hanky code isn't much of a Thing with young people these days. There's no need for it, since now all anyone needs to do to hook up with someone based on preferences is tick off a few boxes on Grindr or other apps (even in China).

Hanky code is pretty Western-centric. It's unclear whether it's even used in China.

As was discussed in the notes, bandanas are popular in hip hop fashion and in other fashion styles DD often wears.

Hankies are a very widely/wildly popular fashion accessory worn by people from all walks of life. Both GG and DD have worn hankies a lot, including for their fabulous Happy Camp dance, and in this context, it really is just a fashion accessory.

I'm going to say this as gently as possible, because I get it that people are just being clueless and oblivious, and that they don't intend to offend, but it really tweaks something in me as a gay person that so many fans are casually willing to make the assumption that DD is sexually signalling at work.

This goes back to the whole oversexualization in the fandom thing that I often lament.

I think fans - especially turtles - get so used to scrutinizing everything for signs and signals of GG and DD's sexual and romantic proclivities that common sense and GGDD's basic humanity are often overlooked. Fans could also stand to do a bit more to reflect on how their behavior and attitudes might (unintentionally) come across as offensive and homophobic* to queer people.

*Not saying this is where you were coming from, Hellopedey, but I hope all fans will reflect on it.

Please read this post for more info on that, because it's important.

PS] For those looking for something salacious about GG and DD, how about checking out the lyrics for the song they danced together to on Happy Camp? That's a pretty racy song for a couple of 'straight' guys to be dancing together to. 😅

[quietbreeze97]

So I was at MCM London over the weekend just gone (hence my lack of reblogging & posting) and I went as Charlie, while my friend @chaoticexpertpanda was Lucifer! This was the first time I'd cosplayed in nearly three years and I wasn't planning to originally for this con, but when I was able to throw together a low-budget outfit that resembled Charlie's pilot look (thank you to my other friend who lives down the road for lending me some bits!), I thought I might as well go for it!

I had such a great time and it was great to see so many other Hazbin cosplayers and how fun-loving and enthusiastic this fandom is! I love you all and being a part of this community!

Photos are included of the big Hazbin meet-up I went to, which was amazing. I've never seen so many Alastors, Lucifers and Charlies all at once! Apologies I can't tag the above Alastor cosplayer and the duck-shirt-man (we had to get a photo with him for obvious reasons) as I don't know their names, but you guys were wonderful. ^_^

Also big shout-out to the Alastor & Vox cosplayers we briefly spoke to who had signs on their backs saying "I hate Vox" and "I hate Alastor" respectively. That was genius and you guys were probably my favourite cosplayers! I wish I had a photo to share but maybe someone else does.

Lastly, do go follow my friend's blog at @chaoticexpertpanda as I think he did such an amazing job with his Lucifer cosplay. It was fun to be father and daughter for a day!

[nakasumi-sims]

Welcome to my First Bachelor Challenge

After his first run as a contestant on The Bachelorette, Abraham is back as the Bachelor on his journey for love continues! It's been 2 years since then and not much in his life has changed. He's a model for Plume Magazine and lives in Sulani with his fellow models. Before he became a model, he was a fisherman along with his father and older brother to keep up the family fishing business while his mother and younger sister run the shop.

"I'm looking for someone to challenge me and to share life with. I would hope they wouldn’t mind me being gone for a week or two at a time for modeling jobs for the time being if they weren't able to come along. Later on though in life, if my looks fail me since they likely aren’t forever, I would like to do things like travel together and maybe explore the lands of Salvadorada or climb Mt. Komorebi. I would love to pick up my old hobbies again since I haven’t had time while modeling. I love to make things with my hands and I used to sell the drinks, candles, and trinkets I made in my family’s shop. I can’t wait to meet you. May this journey we take be one that changes us all for the better!"

Traits: Loves Outdoors - Adventurous - Maker

More info about Abe:

27 years old

He/Him

He honestly doesn't know what his exact sexuality is

He's been learning guitar on the side from fellow model, Jae-Hwan, and they practice together when they get the chance

He enjoys fishing and free diving. They relax him and he feels more at one with nature. Sometimes, he'll play with the dolphins and catch some extra fish to feed them. Sometimes, sharks too, but he knows he needs to do it rarely to avoid attacks

He's the middle child and since he's always been busy fishing with his father and older brother, usually the cooking is left up to his mother and younger sister so he doesn't have much experience in the kitchen. He's always willing to learn

He can occasionally get a bit reckless on his adventures and may need someone who can reel him back in

Even though he's all about his adventures, this island boy knows how to relax and take it slow too

Submission Rules:

7 sims will be chosen as contestants

All genders allowed

Young adult to adults accepted, please include age and pronouns for your sim

Write up a background for your sim and share some details! I love hearing about other's characters and it helps give an idea of who they are

Please include some information about their fashion style so I can give extra/situational outfits as needed that are in character

Give your sim some likes and dislikes

They are free to have skills leveled up but to level 5 max (unless it makes sense for it to be higher due to their background)

I don't care what traits or aspirations are, just no romantic trait/aspirations or alluring/beguiling trait. Feel free to even throw in some negative traits if you'd like

No occults will be accepted to keep things simpler now that there's a few occults in the game. I only have aliens, vampires, and mermaids so I'd feel bad to exclude spellcasters and werewolves

When making your sim, please keep in mind my list below of packs I have/don't have (see below the cut)

CC is accepted. If you've seen my sims, I play maxis match/mix and with some alpha thrown in. So I don't really care what style of sims are in, but I would say just not super heavily alpha sims. I do encourage skin overlays (skin details)

No default eyes/eye colors/replacements. I don't like base game eyes either so please use facepaint eyes or I can always choose some that match your sim.

Please choose 1 outfit for each category, keeping in mind which packs I don't have.

If chosen, I will message you for the files. Please include all cc and tray files for that sim

Tag me in your post and use the tag #Naka's Bachelor Challenge so I can see your entries (they will be liked by my main blog)

Submission deadline is August 23rd 2023

If there's not enough entries I may extend or cancel the bc

Packs I do NOT own:

Horse Ranch

Growing Together

High School Years

Werewolves

Wedding Stories

Journey to Batuu

Realm of Magic

Strangerville

Nifty Knitting

Tiny Living

My First Pet

Fitness Stuff

Bowling Night

Vintage Glamour

Backyard Stuff

Kids Room

Toddler Stuff

Romantic Garden

Cool Kitchen

Luxury Party

All the kits

[fish-bowl-2]

7 (for all 3 eds), 12 & 19

7. Is there a piece of clothing you think [character] is particularly fond of/that you imagine them wearing a lot or like to draw them in? Hehehe I LOVE these kind of questions! I think about this stuff way too much...For the sake of the question I won't be including their default show clothes because I think those are a given. Ed - I just know dude is wearing that green jacket for as long as humanly possible. It is going to stink so bad and be littered with stains and holes, but he won't be considering any other option until it's an indescribable rag. Otherwise I think he'd stick to comfortable clothing. He probably wears band/pop-culture T-shirts exclusively. I can see him wearing flannel as well. Edd - He dresses like an absolutely embarrassing dork. I think most of the time he just doesn't feel it necessary to put much thought into style and will just buy the same button-up and slacks if left to his own devices. I have expressed before that I like the idea of him wearing sweaters: Turtlenecks, argyle vests...they are so grandpacore and so him <3. @owmylasagna-blog has mentioned stuff about him wearing "outdoorsy" type clothes which I totally see as well. The type of guy you can depend on to have a zippo lighter on him, but don't expect his soft hands to actually be able to light it. Eddy - What can he NOT wear is more the question. Ok, but he is already so malleable in canon with the outfits he comes up with, and the confidence he excudes, I can see him getting away with a lot. I'd say the things I most enjoy having him wear (in my mind or in fanart) are very garish Hawaiian/printed-fabric dress shirts (think Guy Fieri or Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys), or vintage-aligned stuff like leather jackets with a white undershirt, leisure suits. I think he'd be good for anything that gives him as much (hopefully favorable) attention as possible.

12. What's the funniest or craziest AU idea you've ever come up with? I don't know if these are the "craziest" au ideas but, specific to EEnE, maybe the catsona AU I have? lol I hadn't thought about it being an AU before, but I think it fits that definition, even if it is just excuses to draw them as kitties without much actual lore. I've thought about exploring a furry AUs for them (because of course I have) but I haven't gone far in it because I am so conflicted about what animal to make Ed specifically. Also so many people have made cool posts of their furry interpretations for them already. I also have played around with a birdsona au (where all the characters are different types of birds) exclusively because I love birds.

19. What's your favorite thing about [fandom]? I love how friendly and supportive everyone here is to one anothers' ideas for the show, the characters, and beyond! There is so much creativity going around between fanfiction, fanart, podcasts : ) even when I am not as active in a daily sense, I still get so much joy seeing stuff pop up in the tag, and checking in on mutuals blogs. It is rather cozy and small here, but I like that. I've had stints in larger fandoms and things can quickly become overwhelming and crazy. Not that small fandoms are excluded from having issues, but it is a very different vibe that I am finding I tend to prefer within communities <3 love all the friends I've gotten to know through this little space : )

[eddsworld-nightscape-au]

Directory + Introduction

“Hey… Not exactly sure how this works, but it said I could connect with other people who are in this… apocalips… Um… Yah any help would be great thanks.”

- N0R5K!

--------------------

Things on this blog are subject to change at any time for plot/update/revamp purposes!

--------------------

INTRODUCTION

Imagine for me if you will, that your world as you know it had a darker, mirrored version of itself. And now, wonder what it would be like if it started to leak into your world uncontrollably. What would you do in that scenario...

This is an AU and Ask Blog created by NotJayden and is Co-Owned by the lovely reluctant-ghost-detective!

This is also best viewed in a browser window*, but it isn't required,,,

Our crew's story begins on Halloween,, but the true story began long before they even realized it. Follow them as they try to uncover the truth behind what's been happening as guests show up along the way, invited and uninvited,,,

[This Blog will stay IN CHARACTER, that means that I, the author, am nothing more than just a voice in your head save for moments I break character (seen in #OOC) to answer important questions or address dire things]

[*The browser website is still currently under work! However, I do recommend keeping an eye on the Character Sheet page from time to time]

ASK BOX

CURRENT STATUS - Closed

RULES - No spamming || No hateful comments || No Magic Anons/Asks || Your words may have consequences that effect certain outcomes of the comic

DIRECTORY

[Disclaimer: these links are best sought through a website browser, I cannot guarantee that they work on Mobile]

ABOUT THE BLOG - A deeper inspection into the blog that includes a synopsis, brief content warning, who all runs this blog (if I choose to get moderators or helpers in the art process), credits and important details you'd need to know (in general).

WARNINGS/DISCLAIMERS - A list of all possible triggers and icks you may be prone to in the blog, I HIGHLY recommend you take a good long look at this page and make sure to read everything carefully, I love everyone who reads this blog and I would rather you not be exposed to something you don't like by mistake.

CHARACTER SHEETS - Self explanatory, these are the reference sheets of every* character.

[every*: MAY NOT INCLUDE BACKGROUND CHARACTERS OR DIFFERENT OUTFITS IF THEY'RE TEMPORARY, but if they play an important part in the story, chances are they have a reference sheet on this page]

RULES - These are the rules you MUST follow on the blog, failure to do so WILL result in being blocked!

TAGS

#OOC - Out Of Character This will usually only be used in times when we need to directly address the audience and will not be seen as just a voice in the back of your head like how we will be for the rest of this series

#Tord is Typing... - Tord's Response to the Ask shown above Yes, other characters can respond to your asks! It's not just Tord who can respond. It's just called this because he was the one who posted the beginning of this blog :)

#The Story Continues - A comic page, moving the story along Whether it has an ask attached to it or not this will be the tag for the actual "story" of this blog

#The Author - The weird in between shit I say, not quite out of character but not in character either (at least, not our gang's characters)

#Nightscape / Nightscape AU - These tags are how you will be able to find this blog in the future! In an effort to not clog up the Eddsworld/EW tag on tumblr, this will be the only thing I tag my stuff with

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter thirty six

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

november 5, 2018 san diego, california orion

Spending my 22nd birthday going to visit my new oncologist was not my plan. I hadn’t made much effort to make it happen, but I was hoping to just have a night out in LA with Emelia, her roommates, and some of my classmates. I already had a reservation set up at my favorite rooftop bar for ten people. 

I knew Cal had a show — Amsterdam — so I didn’t expect to get to spend it with him. I figured he’d call me after he got offstage while I was out with my friends and I’d answer, tipsy from a few too many espresso martinis, and it would be sweet and everyone with me would think it was so cute that he was so busy but still so present in our relationship.

Clearly, nothing like that is happening today. The only thing that’s the same is Emelia. She’s coming over tonight. I think my moms are getting us all Thai food and we’ll watch a movie or play a game, and I think we’ll have a bonfire, but the night is looking very differently than what I’d planned months ago. Today is the day I find out how chemo went and whether or not I get to live a little longer.

While Mama drives to the hospital, she and Mom are talking about something I stopped paying attention to a long time ago. I’m grateful both of them are coming with me to learn about my fate. My mind is just spinning and I can’t even pin down a single thought, so I find myself distracting my brain by doomscrolling on social media and reading happy birthday texts. 

From: kaykay (5sos groupies) happy birthday orion! miss ya and love ya! From: crystal (5sos groupies) baby o!!!! we miss you so so much! we’ll all be home soon and want to see your sweet face if you’ll have us. happy birthday ❤️ From: sierra (5sos groupies) sweet orion!! missing you more than ever! happiest of birthdays to the prettiest of girls ❤️

Macy tagged me in an Instagram story of a collage of pictures we have together—random chemo selfies, the night we celebrated her being cancer free, and the tour sendoff party that happened what feels like a lifetime ago. “MOST BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY GIRL EVER! LOVE YOU LONG TIME TY FOR BEING THE BEST” she wrote on top of the photo.

Emelia posted a carousel of our pictures from the past three years, including a very cringey one of us on the first day of class freshman year. We’d somehow shown up to class wearing nearly identical outfits and we decided we were destined to be friends, which was a correct assessment. The most recent one was last week at the beach, when we had a sunset picnic. “Strongest, bravest, kindest, most passionate (and stubborn) girl on the planet. Happy birthday to my soul sister. There’s no one who loves like you and I love having your love in my life. 22 is no match for you! ‘Til death, my friend.” 

Ashton has a photo of us getting gelato in Rome two years ago. I think Giuseppe took the picture, but the memory is blurry. All I remember is how divine my pistachio gelato tasted and how jealous Ash was of how much better mine was than his. In the picture, I’m happily taking a lick from mine while Ashton pouts at me, holding his cup of banana gelato that he’d hardly touched. His caption is short and sweet. “Happy birthday to the best girl I know (sorry @kaykay).”

I don’t follow him anymore, but I pull up Cal’s profile to see if he’s posted any stories or anything else today. When his profile picture indicates that he has posted a story I haven’t viewed, out of habit, I check it. Even if he checks who’s viewed it, I’ll only be one of literal thousands, so I doubt he’ll be able to see me as a viewer. He posted a picture of himself on stage last night, and today, he just took a screenshot of listening to 22 by Taylor Swift on Spotify. 

He’s saying happy birthday, even if he isn’t. 

From: paula (lavapies forever) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAV ESTADOUNIDENSE!!! love you miss you!!!  From: giuseppe (lavapies forever) oh!! happy birthday orion!!! how did I end up in this group chat….. ? From: marta (lavapies forever) feliz cumple, orion!! te echo de menos!!!  From: ilse (lavapies forever) HAPPY BDAY ORION! ❤️ From: paula (lavapies forever) giu you’re one of the girlies sorry

I haven’t texted the “5SOS groupies” back yet, and am uncertain of whether or not I will, but I do text back my former flatmates (and Giuseppe). 

To: lavapies forever muchisimas gracias!!!! miss you all!!! also, have some news for you guys From: ilse (lavapies forever) FINALLY From: paula (lavapies forever) when were you gonna tell us you guys broke up!!!!!! what happened?!?!?!? From: marta (lavapies forever) seriously! how could you not tell us?! but yes what happened we are dying to know the details From: giuseppe (lavapies forever) oh yeah fran asked if i knew anything but obviously i do not  To: lavapies forever so… its not so much that i need to tell you about the breakup? i don’t know how else to say it than to just say it so i’m just gonna say it i have leukemia so cal and i broke up i’m actually on my way to the doctor rn to see how my chemotherapy treatments went

When the group chat activity halts, I know they’re now all confused and in shock. My friends aren’t exactly known for not having something to say. I leave the WhatsApp app to give them time to process and go to my regular messages to see who else has reached out.

From: lucas Hey, O. Just popping in to say happy birthday! Sent you a Venmo—have a martini on me. Hope you’re doing okay!

Every other notification is just miscellaneous family members and a few classmates who are just as out of the loop as the general public is on what’s happening in my life. I guess I should probably share something on my social media about what’s going on. I don’t want the fans to know, but I can tell my classmates and people I actually know. I decide I’ll post something later today, once I’ve heard whatever news that the oncologist is about to share with me. 

Right when I’m locking my phone, it starts buzzing with an incoming Facetime from Paula. I tell my moms I’ll be on a call before I answer.

“Hey,” I say as her face fills my screen.

“I wish you’d told me sooner,” is how Paula starts the call. 

I frown. “It’s kinda hard to say over text. I’m sorry.”

“So call! Orion, what the hell! This is huge and I don’t know why you wouldn’t think we’d want to know!” 

I contemplate what to say next. I should be an expert at this after having to break the news Calum. “If it makes you feel better, I didn’t tell Cal until last month.” 

Paula’s mouth drops and I can tell she’s about to dwell on this instead of the actual news. “So he broke up with you?!” 

“What? No!” I sigh. “No, I broke up with him.” 

Her face contorts with confusion and she shakes her head, the idea rattling around in her brain. “You broke up with him?! Because you have cancer?!”

“Please don’t make me talk about this, Pau, it’s all anyone wants to talk about and I’m tired of it.” 

“No! We are going to talk about this! You guys are perfect together and you broke up with him in the middle of a life threatening diagnosis? What the fuck, Orion?” 

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” I beg. “It’s my birthday. I promise I’ll call you tomorrow and I’ll let you know how things went today.”

She groans. “Fine, but only because it’s your birthday!” 

“Orion,” Mama says, catching my attention. “We’re here.”

I nod and look back to my phone. “¿Hablaremos mañana?”

Pau nods. “Mañana.”

Paula and I hang up then, and I tuck my phone into the pocket on my black sweatpants. We get out of the car and walk to the door of the cancer center, checking in at the desk and going to the waiting room. I feel like I’ve done all of this a million times now, but I haven’t felt this nervous about it in a long time. 

They call my name to come back, and we trudge slowly after the nurse and we sit in a sterile exam room that looks just like every other sterile exam room in the world. While we wait for the doctor to come in, my moms and I sit in silence. I don’t think anyone wants to say anything. I know I don’t.

Five minutes of waiting later and then there’s a knock on the door. My new doctor, Dr. Gupta, walks in with his clipboard and the nurse in tow. He takes a seat on the wheeled stool and moves it closer to me so that we’re only about a foot or two apart. 

“Good morning,” he says. “And, happy birthday.”

I give him a tense smile. “Thanks.” 

I had to come in last week for another biopsy and a full blood panel again to be able to assess the status of my cancer, so today is literally just to talk about the results. They also have me a full body exam to check my lymphnodes and other symptoms. Given the look on Dr. Gupta’s face from the moment he walked in, whatever he’s going to say isn’t good.

“Orion, there isn’t an easy way to say this, so I’m sorry,” he says, off to a horrible start. “The chemo hasn’t made much of a dent in the leukemia, and I’m afraid it’s progressing.” 

I look over at my moms who are clenching their jaws and squeezing each other’s hands. I’ll cry if I watch, so I look back to Dr. Gupta. 

“You have options, though. We can continue to try to find you a bone marrow donor, and there are a number of trials that are available, we’d just need to transfer you back to LA.” 

I shake my head. “I can’t go back to LA.” 

“Honey, you can go back—-“

I cut Mom off. “I’m not doing trials. I can’t. I’m sorry, but I’m not doing something else that will make me feel miserable and we don’t even know if it’s going to work. Besides, I’ll get what, maybe a year or two out of it if they do work?”

I look at Dr. Gupta to confirm, and he pulls his mouth into a slight frown. 

“There’s no guarantee on timelines or results, but, roughly, given your case, that’s what we’d be looking at.” 

“Right, and I’ll get like… a year, a few months if we just stop doing things?” 

Dr. Gupta sighs. “Again, we can’t say for certain, but roughly, yes, about a year.” 

“Yeah, I’m not doing anything. Can I go now?” I stand up, grabbing my bag. 

“Orion, at least hear about what options—“

I spin around, quickly, to face my moms. “I’m not doing anything.”

They look at me with tears in their eyes, begging me to stay and listen, but I don’t want to. 

“I want to go home. I want to live comfortably and just have time with people I care about. It doesn’t matter. I’m going to die anyway. It doesn’t even matter, and I’m not going to LA again.” 

We have a silent argument with just our eyes before they look to Dr. Gupta.

“Can we have the pamphlets on the trials? We can discuss this at home and let you know.”

Dr. Gupta quickly hands them the stack of brochures he’s had on top of his clipboard. “You don’t have to decide anything today, and please call me if you have any questions.” 

I walk out of the room then. I don’t want to dwell in there and I don’t want to dwell on what I’ve just learned. I can’t think about it. Not today. Maybe tomorrow. I just can’t spend my birthday thinking about it all. Today I’m supposed to celebrate my life, not the impending date of my death. 

—

We’re having a bonfire in the backyard with my family, Emelia, and Macy — complete with gelatin-free marshmallows and a crock pot full of mulled wine — when my phone starts going crazy. I try to ignore it and just enjoy the night with Emelia and Macy, who are listening to and respecting my wishes not to talk about the news of the day. I promise them we’ll talk about it tomorrow. 

My phone has probably buzzed twelve times in the past two minutes, and Emelia ends up taking my phone off the arm of the wooden chair I’m sitting in to look at it, apparently annoyed by all the notifications. She unlocks my phone for herself and her eyes grow wider as she looks at whatever notifications I’ve gotten.

“Jesus,” she whispers, scrolling through whatever it is. 

“What is it?” Macy asks before she takes another sip of her hot wine. 

“Um…” Em says, trailing off, still staring at my phone’s screen.

I hold my hand out for her to give me my phone back, and she pulls it further away from me, her eyes still glued to the bright screen. I can see it’s a text thread with a lot of texts from the other person.

“Give me my phone,” I instruct, holding my hand closer to her.

“It’s not good, are you sure?” 

I roll my eyes. “Em, there’s nothing worse than hearing that your chemotherapy didn’t help your terminal cancer on your birthday. I can handle whatever the hell someone texted me.” 

She sighs and hands my phone to me. “I warned you.” 

I take in what’s on my screen and feel my stomach start to churn. She’s right. It’s not good.

From: mike-o cliff-o yknow what orion, fuck you i don’t give a fuck that it’s your birthday FUCJ YOU my band, my BEST FRIENDS, aren’t speaking because you couldn’t tell the truth thos is your fault calum won’t even LOOK at ash! howrdare you you had no right to come into our lives and fuck up the one thing that matters most to all of us and then just LEAVEW do you know how depressed cxalum is he doesn’t do anything except show up on stage and drink and whineand moanmb he’s a fucking qwreck and that’s on yuo you play this innocnt sweet act that you’re jsut being kind and whatever bllshit you tell yourself but you and i both know you’re actually a shitty person what kind of person doesn’t tell their partner they have CACNDR and then BROAKS UP WITH THEM over it fuck you. i hope it’s terminal. and i hpoe it sucks.

My eyes start to water as I read through everything, but I try to remember that Michael is clearly very drunk. 

“No, he doesn’t get to make you cry on your birthday. Give me that, I’m texting a screenshot of that shit to Crystal.” Emelia holds her hand out for my phone again, but I hug it to my chest. 

“No, it’s fine. He doesn’t mean it, and he deserves to be mad.” 

“What? Who texted you?” Macy asks from my other side. I sigh and hand my phone to her so she can read it all. 

“It’s fine, he’s drunk. If that made him feel better to say that, it’s fine.” 

Emelia is fuming next to me and watching as Macy’s face gets more and more concerned while she reads what Mike sent. I don’t want to let them sway me. I don’t care what he sent. 

“Holy shit, O, that’s not okay,” Macy says while she hands me my phone. 

“It’s fine, I don’t care.”

But I do.

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