#Lots of guilt happening here
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Glory To The Faithful (The World Screams In Its Anguish)
His hands twitched, his skin rubbed red and raw, his breaths escaping his chest with a rasping wheeze. Apologies carved into his chest as he claws at his arms, the stain of gold stark on his skin. He had not left the cell in days, scrubbing at the stone bricks in vain. Glowing faintly in the dark, he sobs tearless cries at the cruel reminder of his mistakes, as the waters bleed crimson. His blood over his God's, though now he began to doubt his claim of fervent devotion, he has no right, but he is far too greedy to offer its sacrifice just yet. Cradling his vision close, bloody streaks tracing the engraved constellation he knew was his, proof of his status even if he were to fall from grace. Memories with jagged edges that tear and spill open the truths he wished not to see. Iron to his eyes and thread through his lips, he can not hear and no longer can he feel, penance for his sins. A warden of a prison that holds only one. He burns alone, deep beneath the dark waters.
#poetry#the ramblings of a mad god#genshin sagau#imposter sagau#sagau cult au#genshin impact#sagau creator#wriothesley#wriothesley x reader#Very vaguely#Not technically reciprocated#More of god worship into obsessive love#Angst#Lots of guilt happening here#Also I realize I said I wasn't going to post snippets#Or rather I wasn't planning to#But I forgot#So oh well#This probably has more inaccuracies than I really want to find out#Why?#Well I wrote it in 13 minutes and didn't go back to edit it#I still put far too much symbolism#To be honest#The title probably has more work put into it than the actual snippet#The explanation makes it worse and mildly more painful#But I'll spare you the details#Mostly because these snippets already have victims
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Theatre Kid (Derogatory)
#I had some fun on my most recent plane flight and figured I'd give it some color#the great thing about the king in yellow is i can and will draw him completely different every time#and that is 100% in character#if you draw an eldrich madness god the same way twice it's missing the point let chaos reign#was originally just gonna be the lefthand sketch colored in#but the colors alone actually looked pretty nice so you can enjoy those too#malevolent#malevolent podcast#the king in yellow#my art#doodles#I actually wasn't planning on making the bug mandible crown going into this it just sort of happened which I enjoy#lot of centipede/earwig vibes going on with the guy#something something crawls in your ear and drives you mad#anyways here's my one nice art post of this character now I can move on to shitposts guilt-free#i guess there's one other thing I wanna draw that isn't quite shitposty but it sort of is jury's out#we'll see if i get to it lol
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i need some of your parrot art very sad. like, make him very very sad, as sad as you can make it. horribly sad. depressingly tragic sadness.
oops. sorry, i think i traumatized your bird.
#why are you guys like this????#i keep getting reqs like this#my inbox is filled with crackships and angst why is this my life right now#anyway parrot's blank stare at the spyglass still gets me#every time i think back to it it just makes me physically feel the devastation he probably felt#and then the complete silence on his part when spoke revealed there was no secret#no words. he just stares at the spyglass that became a symbol of his and wifies friendship and the trust between them#that parrot ended up giving up on for nothing.#the realization of how attached he got and how used he's grown to wifies being with him#he probably feels incredibly lonely when wifies is not around now#considering how hesitant he always is to separate with him#you think it reminds him of the time wifies was chunkbanned? it's like a guilt thing#and then there's the trauma of seeing one of his friends actually die in front of him#that probably messed him up a little bit#parrot has a very obvious protector complex#okay im done yapping here#and i only went over what happened in canon and didnt start making shit up#i just love parrot a lot#and i love angst#parrotx2#☆ request .#☆ my art .
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the issue with most of my creative process being very "in the moment" is i end up with a bunch of doodles for things i then decide isnt "canon" to things or i get REALLY DERAILED, so last night i drew some love and loss au doodles that kinda occur later on. Huzzle sweep.
The last one above is traveling to another god domain really hurriedly looks like in my head to be 100% clear. mini rift <3. no time for flair we needs to GO NOWS.
if you cannot tell I love drawing huzzle a lot. my cunty lamp <3
#not maintagging cuz its au doodles in stupids#ggg love and loss au#ggg huzzle mug#ggg click clack#Huzzle Mug giving Click clack constant physical contact here was really cute to me#i feel so bad for thespius on account since you dont see much of his motivations in my doodles and such he just seems hes being sucks#no he is incredibly upset and mourning. mourning +grief is a set of emotions that make even normal people act out#now imagine a god mourning. esp the god of LOVE#As someone who has seen. quite a lot of mourning; i know how it is. its a horrible dragon to deal with sometimes.#yes he messed up. horribly. however there isn't malice; a lot of guilt however#i will part the curtains for a second to say he hasn't left Cliff alone for as long as he's neglected interacting with other gods.#Huzzle only saw him right after cliffs death (around a month n a half ago) ; cliff saw him around a week before huzzle popped in#Thespius ALSO assumes cliff would have the agency and want to *leave* his little spot after a while. unfortunately.#since that's actually cliff hes gonna edit those scripts until he's blacking out or done without outside input#huzzle need smoko#i dont think anyone expected huzzle to be a main character here but it is LOL#to be fair neither did i it just happened lol#it pointed a gun at my head and told me to draw it 5 million times in au#ANYWAY I STARTED RAMBLING LOL
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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ngl it sort of pisses me off the way adults regard Gojo in Jujutsu Kaisen at times. Which could be a very interesting and poignant point in a good way if well written, but as it is it becomes mainly just frustrating and sad in a negative way.
Nanami saying Gojo never cared about anything or anyone other than himself crashes interestingly with Kusakabe saying the whole situation was just all his fault because he refused to kill Itadori. The students are very aware of those aspects of Gojo's personality, but overall they seem to regard him with way more kindness and fondness even when at their rudest, not truly coinciding with either Nanami's or Kusakabe's views.
#Kusakabe's words are harsh and negative but there's some true and some logic to them#but in beholding the entire story and the whole context‚ especially with the flashbacks in mind‚ in getting to know the sweet kid Yuuji is‚#the reader is made to find Kusakabe's words a bit outrageous and cruel and Gojo's position becomes the obvious one like Nanami's was#Like Kusakabe's is too in a way since he too says no matter what it's always the adults' fault whatever the cause was#And following the story we see Gojo cared a lot about those kids and them keeping their youthful cheerfulness if in his very flippant way#That's basically his main constant thread. We see it at the very beginning in what he did for Yuta and how Yuta is so fond of him#We see him at the very end in a way too with the letters he left#And his entire motivation was changing the very messed up society to avoid the kids going through what he and his friends went through#and to prevent them from being lonely the way he felt he was. Ontologically alienated. Entirely othered#And of course it's in part him keeping people away like Shoko. Or even Yuta (though here again it's at the core of his action his attempt#at protecting the kids and trying to prevent them from growing too fast)#And of course this is motivated by his own experiences and in that sense not entirely a selfless act#But those things still don't negate that his goal was for the future kids to be... in a better situation than what he and his friends lived#So Nanami's words are very cruel and... blind. Of course it's possible that Gojo's way of approaching the problem is still something#Nanami would regard as selfish (but it could be argued that so is Nanami's)‚ or that Gojo's perception of Nanami's way of thinking#about him would be this negative. But what we see through the story absolutely contradict Nanami's words in that airport#And though both Nanami's words and Kusakabe's are negative in regards to Gojo‚ they in a way contradict each other#The kids' words and way of seeing Gojo is most of the time more... accurate? If also diverse among them#They see him like an idiot. They trust him. They think he's childish and annoying. They love him#They find him flippant. They know he cares about them. In a way they see both what Kusakabe and Nanami say about him#The negative. And the ultimate positive aspect at the core of it all. That Gojo did care and that Gojo did take care#and that Gojo risked and sacrificed a lot for them and that Gojo was doing this in great part because of his own past#Yuta perhaps is the one who sees it best but it's so interesting too the dynamic Maki‚ Yuuji and Megumi have with Gojo‚ his acts and antics#And this whole thing‚ this frivolous and even... cruel way most adults seem to regard Gojo and how it clashes with the kids' deep feelings#about him (beyond the initial 'he's an untrustworthy idiot' though those as well!') is super interesting and super sad and super juicy#OR IT COULD BE bc in the end all that happens is that Nanami says that and Gojo pouts comically or that Kusakabe makes that offhand comment#as if it held no weight‚ as if Yuji weren't present and had never agonised over it‚ as if Gojo hadn't lost his life trying to save the kid#And yes he risked more than his life but he was trying to save a kid bc another kid (bc Megumi!) asked. But maybe it didn't matter if no one#asked. He saved Yuta too. Of course he would have risked it all. In his mix of selfishness and selflessness. Everything is so juicy#yet the writing feels so dry and lame. There's no pondering. There's talk of guilt and grief without any true sense of grieving or loss
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a story about a flight instructor who hallucinates his dead student
#guys it’s been so long here’s this sketch that I made instead of studying for a really important exam on aircraft hydraulic systems#that I have in an hour#I really want to draw regularly because I don’t have any other interests or hobbies and I’ve just been straight jorkin it and by jorkin#I mean classes and training year round no break on hard mode#anyway I wanna make tommy and ludo into like short stories regularly ig I don’t know#basically he’s a plain average simple midwestern man who gets paired up with a weird eccentric goth girl but they establish a rapport#but then the Horrors happen and she dies and it’s kinda sorta his fault not really though but I made it so that he feels an immeasurable#crippling guilt that keeps him up at night and at some point he starts hallucinating her idk#as for how she dies exactly I can’t decide yet#sorry guys this isn’t a nice story lol#eff ay ay please don’t come after me for legal reasons none of this reflects or represents anything it’s just a silly little oc story thing#that ALSO teaches a lot of good lessons I prommy#ok bye#art#oc#flight instructor oc#aviation#uhhhhhhhhh
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somewhere on this blog there is a post that goes something like "what if i just start identifying as nonbinary and don't tell anyone and still go by she/her" and that needs to be marked as the day that pandora's box opened
#ik it's my blog etc etc etc but i do try to not sad post often anymore just bc after a while#it becomes a lot akjdsjkdjk#however. this is also the closest i have to an unfiltered diary. so!#idk man ik (im pretty sure) rapid onset dysphoria is a thing or something but like#edit: the most rudimentary of google searches show that this may or may not actually be what i mean but like. 20% effort went into that#the magnitude of bad i have felt in the past week is kinda wild to me#like ive been feeling stuff softly like that for a while now w/ an increase come september#for like. reasons that ik but also reasons that dont necessarily matter rn#but it's like. less a realization and more so steps of becoming more comfortable/feeling more secure#but in that security i essentially run into a brick wall#like i joke abt whatever post i made years ago but it's like#lowk this feels like what i was worried abt this happening LMAO#like this idea of things kinda actualizing in my mind for me#but the actual capability of what i can do feeling limited#like. i have no clue what transitioning would/could necessarily look like for me#but it's starting to feel very much like: whatever it is won't happen#which ik is like. bad queer mindset 1#and then i am falling to bad queer mindset 2 of like. feeling bad that this took so long#and that i didnt put together stuff. or try more. earlier.#and that i've now like. run out of time. which ik is not true so like.#the self-awareness is here! i'm also just stubborn lmao#and like idk currently i'm just in the hell of not wanting to do the middle stuff#i just want to wake up one morning and be different AKJDFKJFDKJFD#anyways! i swear im not actively trying to spiral like every day this week#just my mental constitution is weak and susceptible to demons. and also anxiety and sadness LMAO#and as me and my roommate say. it's never too early for the guilt spiral.#also the pandora's box technically opened when i was like 15 but.#we put a lid on that and then everything came back worse when i was like. idk 19/20.
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And a sort of alternate version for the last Fuuta/cry prompt, from a normal au that lives in my brain -- some hurt/comfort with Mappi :')
Mahiru hummed as she stirred. The apartment was filled with the wonderful aroma of her cooking. A door around the corner clicked. Perfect timing, she thought with a smile.
She hadn’t been sure Fuuta would wake up in time for dinner. He’d been out cold ever since she picked him up from his dorm room. Well, he’d probably recount it as kidnapping, since he was in no state to actually agree to come along. But that was the very reason she’d dragged his weak form out of there – no one at the school had noticed that calls stopped going through to him, or that his social media pages all vanished overnight, or that he’d stopped attending classes. When Mahiru finally made her way to his dark, trash-piled room, she discovered him with a 39 degree fever and rambling frantically about death. She needed to take matters into her own hands.
And that’s exactly what she did. Fuuta could hardly keep food down, after his diet of instant meals, energy drinks, and painkillers (if the discarded containers around his room were any clue), so she replaced them with homemade soups and teas. She traded his rumpled bed for her own, which was sweet-scented and well-lit. Mikoto had even helped with a change of pajamas for him.
Mahiru had taken the liberty of calling Fuuta’s sister to let her know the situation, though it was difficult to find her information without Fuuta’s phone. She couldn’t find it anywhere in his dorm. She’d also given Shidou a call, and he’d stopped by the first day to check in. He said Fuuta should be more coherent by day three, at least.
Mahiru could always count on him for reliable information. Sure enough, soft steps approached from behind.
“Good to see you, sleepyhead~” She smiled over her shoulder. Though in a better state than when she found him, Fuuta was still a bit of a mess. He looked pale and thin in Mikoto’s clothes, which were already big on him. His eyes were bleary. Strands of bright hair stuck out at all angles. His expression was dull, taking in the cozy apartment.
“Mahiru made your favorite for dinner! I bet you’re hungry.”
“I… don’t want it… ” His expression was uncharacteristically blank.
Mahiru giggled; he must be really tired to be denying food. “Oh, of course you do!”
“No, you… you don’t understand…”
“Come take a seat, it’s ready now.”
He took a step forward. “Mahiru…”
“You should be more careful, Fuuta-kun! Next time you come down with something, you should really let somebody know. It’s a miracle I came and found you in time, hm?”
She spun to set things on the table. The pride in her masterpiece faded away as his expression twisted up. His hands drifted up shakily to his face, and he started to sob.
“Fuuta-kun!”
Mahiru hurried to him. His knees gave out as she wrapped her arms around him. He leaned down into her, his breath hitching and hiccupping as he tried to tell her something. “You shouldn’t… if you knew what I… I…”
“Shhh, hey. Shhh...”
After a moment of broken phrases and body-wracking sobs, he regained his balance and pulled away from her. There was a look in his eyes Mahiru had seen in the last few days, when he was trying to talk through his delirium. She’d chalked it up to feverishness, but she now saw that this raw, revolted horror was something real.
“I fucked up.”
The simple sentence sent him into a fresh wave of panic. He tried to step backwards and hide his face away, but she tugged his sleeve backward. Normally she wouldn’t be able to forcibly move him anywhere, but for the second time, he was too weak to stop her.
“Just breathe,” she said. “You can tell me.”
Mahiru had known Fuuta for long enough to hear the range of his voice – the excited chatter, the snarky muttering, the grating yelling. In all that time, she’d never once heard him sound like this. His words cracked and wobbled. Sometimes it was so hushed that Mahiru had to press her ear closer just to understand.
And by the time he finished, she understood why.
“I didn’t know,” he kept repeating. “I’d never h-have done it if… if…”
“It’s okay,” was all Mahiru could repeat in turn, through her own tears. It wasn’t quite the truth, but it wasn’t a lie, either. It was what Fuuta needed to hear, and that’s all that mattered.
“I just want to take it back… but there’s no way… What am I – what am I supposed to do?”
“We’ll figure it out, alright? It’ll be okay.” She guided him around. “Let’s get you back to bed, okay? I’ll bring the food in to you.”
He paused. His teary eyes studied her in bewilderment. “W-why?”
“Eh? Well how else are you supposed to eat from there…?”
“No, I mean,” he swallowed hard. “Why would you do that? You… you don’t hate me…?”
“Oh, Fuuta-kun.”
She wrapped her arms around him again. This time, he willingly returned the gesture. He grabbed onto her for dear life, and Mahiru was suddenly struck with just how much of a miracle it really had been, that she’d found him in the state he was.
She held him close, one palm spread on his back, the other twisted through his hair.
“Not at all. Now, let me feed you something, okay?”
“... Okay.”
#milgram#mahiru shiina#fuuta kajiyama#its a mix of her traditional caretaking methods: the home cooking the clean comfy home the sweet reassuring voice#shes like an angel to someone so deep in fever omg#also miss i-let-others-do-what-they-believe would take a long time before discussing crime details#her first instinct is just To Care which -- while not entirely healthy lol -- separates her from some of the others#the others would ask a lot of questions just to get a grip on the situation but shed wait until he was ready to tell her details#its not inherently shippy since ive pictured similar interactions with everyone#but you can definitely take it romanticly#hes a bit more willing to admit his guilt/open up in this one than my other one because of the situation --#being in a comfy home and still being half-feverish makes him a bit more talkative#the one detail not featured here is that (platonic or romantic) mahiru would say 'i love you' and repeat how much she cares#and by this time in their relationship fuuta knows this isnt some grand confession of love -- its just how mappi is#i think if mahirus crime had happened by now shed react a little different#plus i like the thought of her going to fuuta first with the news because they were able to share this moment#drabbles
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bitching abt the poll scroll this is SO stupid but i'm mad
ok this isnt about ship wars or whatever but these tags are making me laugh because "how could wlw fics of two originally male characters be BETTER than a CW queerbaiting sapphic couple" my guy, because those fics were actually written by lesbians
#I AM HERE TO DEFEND WLW WANGXIAN THEY ACTUALLY FREED ME FROM GIRL LIKER CATHOLIC GUILT#like regardless of how u feel about genderbends#lesbian fiction written by lesbians will always be better and hit a lot more than something written by. the CW#of COURSE i didnt vibe with mainstream wlw media before i started reading wangxian genderbent fic of all things#because those fics are being written by people who know liking girls is more than teehee what if we hold hands and braid each otehrs hair#the source material already hit hard and having fics explore how that'd happen if they'd been raised as women makes it hit even harder ik#anyways read out of your system by mimilamp and maybe you'll calm down#modao
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I AM kind of entranced by the idea of Lucy/Clay, especially existing previous to Lucy/Desmond. It would make things worse in just about every direction I think.
Here is what I think: Lucy goes into Lucy/Clay with the thought that, well, he is going through a lot. Surely this is a Nice Gesture. And Clay thinks she's on his side, is fond of her, etc.
There is a measure of power imbalance here: Clay is, by most measures, Lucy's prisoner. Even if she isn't the one who captured him, and is nominally "on his side", she IS the one assigned to getting him out. She has his life in her hands.
(And she won't let him out, even when he begs, but he doesn't KNOW that yet.)
And then, of course, the betrayal. She IS fond of him. That wasn't a lie. She wants to keep him safe.
But not enough to save him.
Which. If this is followed by Lucy/Desmond, it paints a certain pattern to her! Once again, a prisoner of Abstergo, once again, he relies on her, once again, she has every intention of betraying him.
And whether or not you believe Lucy had a change of heart between Vidic's orders and the end of Brotherhood (which I personally believe she had doubts, but its complicated), Clay wouldn't know, and right when Desmond stabs her is when HE gets his first unfiltered interactions with Desmond.
Which is when Desmomd would learn ANYthing about Lucy, if Clay WANTED to tell him. Which I think could be interesting in a world where Lucy lives. Because I think Desmond, himself, would stay loyal to Lucy despite Clay's claims.
And even if Lucy DOES have good intentions for Desmond here, it's called severely into question by her previous actions being brought to light.
So. Like I said. Worse and more complicated for everyone involved.
#not doctor who#assassins creed#clay kaczmarek#lucy stillman#rose rambles#knife boys#mostly I want to explore more of how Lucy and Clay felt about each other#and their roles in the Abstergo mission#Lucy's guilt and Clay's trust or lackthereof#we only ever get those letters in his DLC!!! Thats nothing!!!#i know he was in the animus a lot but he was there for over a year!!#I don't really care if Lucy/Clay is platonic romantic or otherwise#but I think if Lucy/Desmond is happening this route is SLIGHTLY more interesting bc of the vague implications going on#so that is what we are going for here
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Whenever I put a lot of effort into a post and it gets little notes/feedback I know I shouldn't but there's a worry that pops in my head that constantly goes "Are they mad at me?"
I've deleted posts over this unfortunately
#i honestly do not care too much about note count on posts#it's not my end goal#my end goal is sharing cool stuff with my friends and followers#and making them happy#but whenever i make a big post#or put a lot of effort into one and it gets little to no notes#i get scared that people are upset at me#maybe that's just how i was raised#same thing happens when i reply to someone and they don't reply back#suddenly i believe I've offended them#i dunno it's a bad habit of mine#my worst fear is offending people#I've deleted posts and replies in the past because of this worry#I'm trying not to anymore but still#i worry#not to guilt trip anyone!!#not my goal here!#>.<#but just to complain a little#💬#🩹
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anyway in an absolutely wild turn of events I think I’m free of my hideous job and like. substantially richer for it??? lmao 2023 you really owed me
#ok so this a lot of personal shit but I’m just gonna incredulously vent into the tags#like I don’t even know how to describe what 2023 in this job has been like lol#since April they’ve been insulting and scrutinising and scapegoating me over absolutely everything#they were really angling for just firing me outright for never measuring up to their constantly shifting and increasingly bizarre goalposts#and it got so personal man they kept insisting that it wasn’t but my god#then my dad gets sick and it suddenly becomes awkward for them to keep insulting and overworking me#so they switch to just ignoring me entirely so they don’t have to reckon w what me and my family are going through#like they never ask how he is or how things are going just every Friday they say hey do you reckon you can take more work on again?#and THEN I get a gut infection and suddenly im being guilt tripped for taking sick leave and pestered for evidence#it was giving like ‘we had to give you time off for your dad but now you’re taking the piss’#to the point I DID reach out to a third party at the company and was like ‘I’m sorry but why the fuck are they treating me like this’#and she was like ‘confidentially this is disgusting and I advise you to report it’#WHEN SUDDENLY I get back from sick leave and it’s like ‘the business is falling short so we have to make some redundancies….’#and now they’ve had to pay me a SUBSTANTIAL sum to fuck off!!! I think I win???#like I was so close to quitting but thank god I didn’t because now I’m getting a sweet deal to fuck off with no notice lmao#i leave end of the month#at first I was shocked like y’all really doing this now??? but suddenly I’m like. this is the best possible thing that could’ve happened#I spoke to that third party again and she was like ‘I am so happy for you’ like omfg it was a curveball but we’ll take it!!!#I’m fucking outta here and in due course I WILL be writing on glassdoor how fucked they are
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preemptively sorry for how fucking long this is it is YOUR FAULTT THOUGH!!!! large bowl of seeds for u. it is almost 2am sorry.
SO. there are. two ways to assign the prime defenders powers etc. the first way is just, like, categorize their existing powersets within the prt framework, & the second is to give them entirely new abilities based on the way worm works. delightfully, all the powers they Do have work really well for the most part, so even that doesn't require a ton of shuffling.
categorizing their pre-existing powers:
wiwi-- breaker w/ a shaker subclass. neither of them rated very high, but that's already a rare and versatile enough combination!!
dakota-- brute babeeeey!!! brute/mover its so straightforward. hell yeah babey. i don't know what he'll end up looking like post-heart removal & stuff but my guess is that'll end up looking more like a mover/striker.
vyncent-- now THIS one gave me trouble. i... hm. to say this without talking about stuff that i don't think has come up much already, (hey!! you're at that clockblocker pov! directly related to what flechette says!) i'd call him a grab-bag cape, irt the greats at least. post-greats-- again, i don't know what his powerset will look like after this arc! but if he's going all in w/ the fire magic, that would for sure be some striker shit! :]]]
giving them new powers... man i'm reining myself in so hard from five more paragraphs on Why exactly i'm saying all this.
wiwi still breaker for sure, maybe breaker-master, maybe master-stranger. yknow. powers are fluid, the prt categories are pretty rigid. i... don't know. enough about his situation yet to be clearer than that vague idea yet-- i really like the idea of him just. ditching his body & using a noncorporeal form but he still has to keep an eye on his body i think that's great. the noncorporeal form would b able to change its visibility but still b limited by proximity to the body. & fluctuating energy shit powered by fluctuating amounts of recent-death in the area, maybe probably also limited in that it's only accessible in his breaker form.... also i think u will appreciate this style note from the [UNNAMED PARAHUMANS TTRPG] i'm referencing a lot here.
dakota--in this situation he probably would not. have that mechanical heart and shit. he' would still be a mover/thinker-- thinker rating is for faster mental processing + senses imminent pain for the people in his immediate vicinity. not danger, just pain; it immediately registers ambiently & can be generally traced back to whoever it is. no he can't turn it off ever, it manifests as feeling a similar level of pain, yes it works on himself. + mover-- he can fucking fly. no super strength, just very fast flight & the general "won't splat himself flying into something" capabilities, which meshes well w/ the faster processing & reflexes. i'm split on how exactly this would work mechanically but i will NOT go into that now. i am also not going into the 15k discussion in my brain on why dakota 'notoriously bad at thinking about things' cole would be a thinker but u gotta trust the process ok??
vyncent-- trump!!!! somehow this is the only straightforward one to me? he can copy powers at the full strength or ability level of the original for an unspecified amount of time that's usually 1-30 minutes by touching the cape. crucially, he doesn't have any edge on how to use these powers + can easily misuse or become extremely overwhelmed by them. he's easily the most powerful out of the three of them <33
ashe-- ashe is NOT HERE currently and also it's 1:30 am so i gotta go fucking sleep soon BUT they would be a master. easy. :o) they can make some lil guys n do stuff with them!!!!
in general these are pretty fucking cracked abilities, all of them would b oosely above a seven or so in a number rating once they're really settled in their powers-- this is mostly because i'm assuming that they would still be heirs-apparent to the prime force equivalent, which would b the triumvirate :]] anyway. good lord. this is like the cliff notes edition of what i've been thinking and scribbling in the notes app for the past several hours. sorry if it's fucking incomprehensible. gn!!! <333
AAAAAH FUCK YESSSSSS OKAY OKAY OKAY my response is probably going to be equally as long. so it's fine. oooouh buddy.
I KNOW WHAT BREAKER MEANS NOW !!! I dontttt think ive learned shaker yet. breaker is like.... breaking the laws of physics/shifting planes or whatever. PERFECT for william hell yes. for putting them actually in worm world ... ughhhh breaker/master william is REALLY cool. I havwnt learned stranger yet but i think he would develop a complex over being classified as stranger <3 (like how weld doesn't like that he's classified as a brute even though that's not exactly what it means, he just doesn't like the word) . GODDDD just thinking abt putting pd boys in worm is fucking me up haven't they been through enough. I want to see them all in a fit of despair. william ditching his body is SO good I miss when he would do that, also the powers being limited by how far away he is AND THE AMOUNT OF RECENT DEATH IN THE AREA. holy shit. that's so fucking good . im sure he would not overthink at all the fact that he is stronger when more people around him have died . I'm sure he'd do awesome in the leviathan fight for sure for sure .
DAKOTA BRUTE <3 DAKOTA BRUTE/MOVER I LOVE THIS A LOTTTTTT hellbyes. awesome. it's so perfect for him <3 worm world I'm SURPRISED u didn't stick with brute for him. eyes emoji. I trust your judgement but now i am Thinking... Hmm..... YOU BRING INTO QUESTION something I have been thinking about. and I'm going to probably get derailed a little here but stay with me. how the way powers manifest directly relate to the trigger event. because for a WHILE before we learned taylors I was like "OH i bet the powers are going to be directly related to what traumatic thing happened to them" and then we learn about taylor and grue and a couple more and I kind of lost that theory because while you can. technically draw relations between their powers and their events it seemed like too much of a stretch to do . HOWEVER now my thinking has changed AGAIN and I think the powers ARE related to specific trigger events but it's not as straightforward as "oh something scary happened to you with bugs so now you have bug powers" I think it's gonna be more complicated than that. WHICH. THE WAY THIS RELATES. BACK ON TOPIC NOW. to DAKOTA . assuming his trigger event is still he and katori falling off the building I think it's AWESOME that his powers would manifest as FLIGHT for one. and the fucking. pain sense thing. fuck me up. dakota extreme hero complex cole would be so fucked up by a power where he ambiently senses pain from the people around him at all times and cannot turn it off. I'm sure he would feel so normal about being around william chronic pain wisp 24/7. also I can SO CLEARLY imagine how this power specifically would lead to him getting super overwhelmed in chaotic situations like he does in canon. and just fucking. bolt out of there because it's too much. again. he'd have such a wonderful time in the leviathan fight
I AM AT CLOCKBLOCKER POV !!!! actually technically I'm on kid win pov now but I haven't finished his chapter yet. vyncent grab bag cape..... yeah... I think it would be EXTREMELY funny imagining the PRT in pd world trying 2 classify vyncent like. what the fuck does this kid do . what do we do with him. hes got other guys in his head that give him powers. is he a master??? no he can't fucking control them. is he a striker??? only SOMETIMES. is he a blaster?? AGAIN ONLY SOMETIMES. cannot classify him bitch!!!!!!!! giving him worm powers though.. UGH. being able to touch someone and COMPLETELY copy their powers but only for a short period of time???? I fucking love that a lot. he WOULD be the most powerful out of them!!! I can hear taylors inner analysis dialogue about him now and it's very similar to the clockblocker "DONT LET HIM.TOUCH YOU" panic. loooove imagining this playing off of the rest of pd,,, i know there was AT LEAST one time where he had william sort of transfer some of his ghost powers for a minute? I think it was during the lich fight in the theatre but i just remember vycnent floating and going intangible and NOT KNOWING how to control it or anything. loveeee that. in world dynamics I feel like vyncent would be a late addition to their team (instead of coming from another world maybe he just. had his trigger event happen way later than the other two..or something.) and not trusting them as much at first/being REALLY shaky using either of their powers but after a while being really comfortable in a fight with using either Williams or dakotas powers in a fight. Just like. imagining the fluidity of how they'd work together in a tense situation assuming they're not being complete dumbasses <3333 UGH it's really good
AAAASHE ASHE ASHE IM SOOO SO GLAD YOU INCLUDED ASHE IN THIS I miss him.so much every day. from what I know so far master involves having/making/controlling some sort of minion (cannot think of a better word than that rn) AND I THINK THATS REALLYYYY perfect for ashe. i assume he would actually work pretty closely to canon in that his limitation would be the book? or if he doesn't have the book maybe his limitation would be a) having only a few different types of things he could summon (the big hand, the water fairy, duck etc) and/or b) only being able to control them.for a short amount of time after they're summoned so he has to be quick about dismissing them. can't keep the demon hand around for too long or it might start picking things up and throwing them at random. putting teammates in danger bc he can't control it anymore etc etc. alsooooooo in clockblocker pov they VERY briefly mentioned the possibility of having secondary trigger events (?!!!!?!?!) and you know I locked onto that SO FUCKING HARD. ashe being born with powers and then his secondary trigger event being his mom's death <3 im.NOT even going to attempt to talk about how the trickster would work in worm world/if it would even exist in this setting bc i don't know enough about the types of powers and things yet..but just know. I am keeping this in the back of my mind "this is a fun surprise tool that will help us later" style
#also side note but can i say. thw whole time i was reading the leviathan fight a persistent thought in the back of my mind was#“man i really wish they had a cape here who could control water- THEY NEED TIDE... THEY NEED TIDE SO BAD”#so like..really normal about putting prime defenders SPECIFICALLY in the leviathan fight. teehee (<< most diabolical laugh youve ever heard#I HAVE A LOT MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT WILLIAM TOO BUT..HMMMMMMMMM DONT THINK I CAN SAY SOME OD THEM YET#EXTREMELY interested 2 see whether ur thoughts on specifically him and dakota#will change after both the training arc and certain other events <3#hehehehehehehee#GOD I CANNOT STOP IMAGINING. PD IN WORM.WORLD. they would suffer so fucking badly man.#william wisp guilt complex about his powers turned up to 200#HAVING A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT ASHE ALSOOOOO . AS ALWAYS#now that i know more abt power classes i am VERY confidently going to put mark down as a tinker/striker.#with the tinker rating being SLIGHTLY higher than striker bc he uses the things he makes to amplify his naturally weaker striker powers.#tiiiiiide im thinkingggg would be. whats the elemental one.#not breaker bc thats specifically about breaking physics and i dont think that works for him.#is it shaker?????? i dknt think ive learned shaker yet.#U ARE MORE EQUIPPED AT THIS THAN ME whats tide. tide would also for sure be a case 53 right. i havent exactly learned what that means yet#but im assuming its the whole artifically giving people powers thing and. thats tide baby. idk if clones would work in worm world#so maybe its him and his regular siblings all being specifically given elemental powers#so they could work together as some super crazy powerful team. and then. that Doesnt happen <3#(idk if u have listened to the tide oneshot yet but. its good. if you ignore dodgeboy)#ANYWAY. i should start getting ready for work now. im having so many thoughts about this norlw#hollyyyyyy shit#infected my brain with worms (pun intended)#asks#friends!!!#intertexts#wormposting#jrwi pd#<< only tagging so i can find this later when i learn more and can properly yell about it#new haven wards
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Fuck fuck fuck low self-esteem has ruined my life.
#uchiha-gaeshi overshares#i should've known the signs when i got evaluated for adhd and my self perception was like#hold up gotta pull it up#and also disclaimer that this was a separate assessment for overall emotional wellbeing (or something like that) and this was just part of#the many tests that i had to take#ok. we're reaching even newer levels of oversharing here since i'm literally sharing evaluation results. but anywho#i was in the 96th percentile for sense of inadequacy; 17th percentile in (good) self esteem; 3rd percentile in self-reliance#and 3rd percentile in ego strength (i.e. satisfaction with self and one's abilities)#i saw this and got shocked and then forgot about it (in my defense there was a lot of stuff in the evaluation)#looks like it's more therapy for me. yay.#like there have been more times than not where i have felt less than to people around me. and fearing that people will see how pathetic#i actually am. god no wonder my desire to socialize decreased as my self esteem decreased#i might be repeating the same point over and over#ok so imma bring up the si/oc fic that i just dropped. like i think i *tried* to make a like a more confident version of myself; but i gues#i'll have to put it on pause because my teens were defined by feeling shit about myself. like idk what to do with a character like that#who's supposed to be making moves. like nothing would happen besides survivor's guilt#anyways back to the subject. as my gpa got pathetically low (i can't even share it here or else i'll probably deactivate this blog) and i#started losing jobs. i lost patience with myself. it seemed like other people were able to chug along with the demands of life while i was#fumbling around with no end in sight (tbh i wasn't the only one my close friend from college also has adhd and was really struggling and#another one might have dropped out. my childhood friend who also has adhd is in the same. exact. situation as i am with being unable to#go out in public since we feel like we can't be our “best selves”). then the old question came back: if i can't handle#high school/a part-time job/college on a low courseload then what the fuck was i going to do? some days i'd keep going with new strategies#or new ways to be more productive. but other days i didn't want to keep going#who knew it's not healthy to always assume that people are better than you? even though i have been reframing the more obvious thoughts#it's an automatic and unconscious impulse that just runs in the background of my head. idk if this is just a human thing or...#but because of this at times i'd hold myself back from fear of failure#anyways that's all i've lost my train of thought and have to do errands i've been putting off#txt
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If fandom didn’t glaze tim sm the character development we could’ve made up was how fucked up it is that he speedran Robin to son bc he shit talked the dead kid and what he might think that’d mean for his legacy and regular social interactions. But that wouldn’t afford him easy victimhood yt fandom moms can project on 💔
#I can’t stand the Bruce treated him like an employee shit#like yeah for a week lmao he was taking him to baseball games guys#I think you guys forget#or don’t even know#the goal of tim was to get over jason and give kids somebody to project onto#tim whump that doesn’t make him look badass and fun was not good for that#that’s why I take every tim is the smartest/best of us with a grain of salt#and I give tim a lot of grace in the writers department bc I don’t think he’s a raging misogynistic loser#I think he’s just a raging loser the misogyny is writers#but if that same grace can’t be extended to Damian’s stereotypical writing and Steph being kind of annoying why am I being nice….#ish#anyways#this could do wonders for fucking up his relationship with Damian before it even starts#smth about him not even considering that the next Robin could treat him the way he treated the dead kid#except he’s still here and has to hear it to his face#shame and guilt manifesting in anger#anger when the same thing happens like before and your spot is given up but you’re still alive#uhm yeah#but no nvm he clocks into Wayne manor and doesn’t understand that dickie wuvs him :((((#oh and#smth about tim always trying to be in the know or in the group#and not being afraid to cast others out so he can be involved and included#UNTIL YJ
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