#Look back on my past | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

entropy-sea-system · 2 years

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God. Wow it's almost amusing to think about how much I needed things to have special meaning when I was like 13-17..

Now I'm just like yeah this makes me happy yeah Im burnt out from this other thing, I'm glad to exist, haha this thing is funny, etc. Without fussing over it having to mean something or be symbolic and it's kind of nice.

Doesn't mean I dislike my past self for needing to have things have deeper meaning, I appreciate the way I saw the world and my life then. It's how I experienced things then and it's nice to look back on that. I've become a lot more self aware since then and maybe that has something to do with it, maybe if you're more secure in who you are you're less likely to need to assign meaning externally or something.

#Rift's rambles #entropy positivity #positive #ok so this post and my last one #Are both inspired by a schrodingers cat joke on a post #And how it reminded me of an old art I made in ballpoint pen when I was like 16 maybe of a half cat half cat skeleton w a vial of poison #That was inspired by the thought experiment #I was so.. scientific and logic-y and sometimes it was to the extent that I ignored emotions or didnt realise when I was hurting people #And I feel.. More free now and less inconsiderate and more likely to handle emotions better #And maybe part of it was trying some stuff I saw abt dbt #Simple things like stepping away if I felt I was going to snap at someone when really angry and dealing w conflicts better #And knowing when its not worth it to explain or debate #Its related to my bpd #And also just.. I worry less abt how ppl see me now. I worry less about loneliness. I worry less about abandoment than I used to.#I understand myself and my behavior and emotions more and I appreciate the people who are important to me and it feels like growth if I #Look back on my past

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hansoeii · 6 months

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crowley

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hinamie · 22 days

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I'll give them shelter like you've done for me

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #megumi fushiguro #yuji itadori #itafushi #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk leaks #jjk art #fushiguro tsumiki #took all afternoon but we wrangled the colours in2 submission #it was looking very green and kind of muddy #so i toned down the saturation in a bunch of places pulled in a lot more grey #kept a lot of the shadows Hard #i think it works #not sure it's the absolute best it cld be but i am Satisfied with it #overall i ws just kind of worried that it was looking rly similar to past pieces colour-wise #i think it kind of still Is but not as much as it would have been had i not made those edits #anyway. emo hours #ive been listening to jubyphonic's piano arr of shelter and thinking abt megumi #thinking abt him growing up n looking back on himself n seeing himself in tht lonely little boy #'it's a long way forward so trust in me' smth smth finding the strength to guide that kid forward even though both of u are scared #bc at the end of the day u Are still that kid #inner child stuff usually doesnt resonate much with me bc i don't like who i was/am/whatever this aint abt me #but in regards to megumi????? OW #in lighter news i remembered at the absolute last minute to lob off the top of yuuji's ear #bc that injury at least i think he keeps ghfssdfhfgsj

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bixels · 5 months

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Scary Sunset.

I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.

#mlp #sunset shimmer #twilight sparkle #twiset #the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art #deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement #but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way #when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too #fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory #and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her #anyways toxic yuri yayyy #my art #the grand galloping 20s #character design #i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days #i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate #is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey

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crunchchute · 25 days

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some sam & max art from this week

go-karting • popsicles • peanut butter (celebrating dog day)

#crunchchute art #my art #sam and max #sam & max #so much white space but i didnt like any color in the bg of these #looking back i should have added at least a color splash but whatev #like to put a color layer and set it as 'screen' in sai lately i really like how it makes the colors more pastely and even

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onionninjasstuff · 7 months

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#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #no real context lmao #just found an ancient sketch of this and got out of nowhere motivation to finish it #thinking abt the way i used to treat myself in the past is very bittersweet #cuz i lost sm time worrying abt my skills and presentation and restricting myself a lot and demanding so much out of myself all the time #i still struggle with it #but at the same time looking back fills me w pride and love for both my current and past selves #theres a lot of growth and progress there #and past me wasnt half as bad as they thought either #never be hard on urselves gamers #go out there embrace the world embrace urselves

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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Archery Nemesis.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin zixuan #wei wuxian #(Trying to not break my own continuity by showing WWX changing outfits in the middle of a comic...I'm doing my best...)#The original line for the third panel was just 'fuck you' which admittedly is a funnier line.#Wei Wuxian really does call JZX a little pretty boy (not in those words but close enough) and then dramatically one-ups him...#Not only that; he tries to use Lan Wangji's headband as a blindfold. Which I think we need to take a moment to analyze.#It's probably easiest to look at this as ship-tease but I think it's far more in line with how WWX's mask is slipping.#He knows full well how poorly touching LWJ's headband went in the past.#But somehow - in this moment of his anger being targeted at JZX - that crucial information is forgotten.#He's got tunnel vision over something so small...and what do we know about emotions that don't suit the supposed cause?#Why that would be displacement. Something is bothering him and it sure is *not* just Jin Zixuan's fancy ass.#WWX came back but he didn't come back the same. It's rather unsettling how it feels like he's putting on a performance of himself here.

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wardingshout · 9 months

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Zelda goes mushroom girl

#tloz #a link to the past #zelda #link #my art #I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one...#I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea #I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat.#it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd #if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl......#I'm falling back into my old ways rn though #anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends #like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder #they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it #in a proper way that might make sense....#if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth #and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh

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ftmtftm · 1 month

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Honestly, the most genuine advice I can give to other traumatized queer people who were traumatized by other queer people is that you need to internalize the fact that queer people who share an identity with your abuser(s) are not your abuser(s).

You cannot project your trauma onto others in that way. It is not fair to you and it is not fair to them. I understand. It's a fear response. It's PTSD. It's trauma. But you cannot let it control the way you view other queer people who are not your abuser(s) because they are not your abuser(s).

Queer people are just that - people. We can hurt each other. We can traumatize each other. We can do horrific things to each other just like any other human being can. But you cannot fall into the mind trap of blanketing your trauma around entire identities. The problem with your abuser(s) is that they abused you, not that they were a particular kind of queer.

#I am coming from a place of most of my own abuse being at the hands of other queer people #and having internalized and projected onto other queers in the past #in ways that I look back at and just... feel remorseful about #safety will never be stored in an identity and likewise danger isn't stored in it either #I promise #I really do promise it gets better #original post

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aunmenosheteroenespanol · 6 months

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2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

#911 #911edit #911 abc #911 show #911 spoilers #911 season 7 #tommy kinard #evan buckley #evan 'buck' buckley #kinley #bucktommy #kinkley #tevan #pick a ship name you guys and thanks for picking tevan the most correct name #anyway analysis time!#looking back with Modern Knowledge tm about why tommy acts the way he does in the past... babygirl you were so closeted I'm so proud #babygirl was back there getting into narnia #he was so resistant to letting go of the pseudo-family he'd found at the 118 in chimney begins #even tho it was a good old boys club that he knew he really didn't fit into he was making himself fit because at least it was something #but then he let chimney in and then hen came around and he saw a very queer person being openly queer and not giving a fuck what they think #and I think his behavior in that episode was trying to support hen as much as he could without outing himself #because like. how do you give up years of relative safety with people who do care about you they just won't like you anymore if you're *you #then he meets buck in s7 which is like 10-20 years later timeline is fake and he's like oh. this is what unconditional family is #and he's like oh. maybe I can come back. maybe I can be part of this again somehow. maybe we've both grown enough #or at the very least he'll be close to something he never believed would really happen for him #rant over tevan my beloved tim minear pillow cold both sides god bless #my edits

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welcometogrouchland · 6 months

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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post