#Loki will be able to rewrite history if he wanted to

[lightneverfades]

Frostiron AU (Loki: Season 2) | What if Loki time-slips and finds Tony? (Alternative) | Spoilers for Episode 4 & 5!

Part I / Part II / Part III

This is an AU where Loki and Tony were both in a relationship before the whole 2012 events of Avengers (which caused a major schism in their relationship). This Loki never had a chance to apologise before he is brought to the TVA, then told of Tony's inevitable fixed fate in Avengers: End Game.

The events of Season 1 happen, and then Loki is left to deal with his loss. But then at the start of Season 2, Loki starts time-slipping and keeps returning to Tony. Eventually Tony becomes involved in saving the Loom, but they are too late and the Loom explodes, causing all timelines, including Tony's, to reset.

At the end of Episode 5 when the gang is brought back together with the help of OB, they are once more cornered as the universe starts to destroy all the timelines. Loki is forced to see all his friends start to disappear, and then finally Tony - who had played a part in this group of misfits - also disappears before his eyes.

And this is what triggers Loki's evolution, unlocking his ability to control his time slipping.

[himehomu]

Seeing people's reactions to Loki becoming the God of Stories and ending up alone on a throne forever, which is exactly what he's been saying he doesn't want, and watching people outright say how he feels doesn't matter and all that matters is him ensuring the life of the multiverse as the Tree of Life is really giving me flashbacks to everyone saying that Madoka becoming a goddes was a good thing for her and acting as though that's what she wanted; to end up as the ruler and messiah of space and time but never being able to see anyone and nobody ever knowing she existed in the first place.

It doesn't matter how she feels because her sacrifice for the millions of Magical Girls throughout history is more important than her. Just like how it doesn't matter what Loki wants, his glorious purpose of being the Multiversal Tree of Life and ensuring the safety of the entire mcu is more important than him. Idk I just want them to be happy. “but madoka is so strong now she's literally the god of the pmmm universe” she was already strong and i literally don't care she doesn't deserve nor want to be alone forever. “but loki is now the strongest being in the mcu/multiverse and he's protecting all of the timelines” i don't care all his life he's been acting out for attention because his environment and the ppl in his life made him feel unloved and inferior and isolated and he eventually believed he was until he discovered the feeling of a found family amongst the tva and then it's taken away from him and he's forced to be alone for eternity bc he wanted to save them and give them a chance at a life??

That's so unfair to his character and there's still a massive hate train behind Homura because she was the only one to think about how Madoka felt and didn't want her to be alone, wanted to give her a chance at a life, even if it meant stealing Madoka's immortality and taking it for herself, rewriting the entire universe to make it a world where Madoka can be happy. I wish someone could do that for Loki. He doesn't deserve this as an ending to his character. The fact that Mobius is the only one who's genuinely miserable and distraught without him and decides to wait for Loki to come back whilst all Loki can do is watch over him from his throne hurts me just like how madohomu hurt me and I can't do this again.

[unhingedmarvelandclassicwhobuff]

Ooh ooh ooh, I suddenly remembered a scene I neglected to mention because it was so bafflingly horrible I think my mind blocked it out.

OK, so Loki, about halfway through the episode, after being told by He Who Remains that no matter what he does the Temporal Loom will wipe out everything but the Sacred Timeline, decides he needs to talk to someone he cares about. (There's no on-the-nose dialogue where he says this, but I think it's meant to be the implication given he seems rattled.)

Now you might be thinking "gee, Loki wants to talk to someone he cares about and has the power to go to any point in his personal time-stream? Well, obviously this is a perfect opportunity for him to go back to before he got yanked from his timeline and get advice from Frigga, or Thor if he gets desperate." And that would be the logical and in-character choice. But this series makes anti-sense, so instead.....

He goes back to the very first episode of this series, to the scene in the Time Theater where Mobius was engaging in the most extreme case of revisionist history the MCU has ever done (I don't count the post-Phase 4 discourse around Wanda, because as of yet the narrative itself hasn't tried to rewrite who she truly is). While he is there (then?), he is able to get Mobius to tell him a story about his life as a Nazi. I'll do my best to sum it up.

Basically, Mobius used to be a Hunter going out and capturing variants, and one day he and Renslayer were on a mission together to find a variant that would become a dictator. The problem is, the deviation happened when the variant was 8 years old, so Mobius hesitated to wipe him from existence, but Renslayer did not, and in the matter of seconds that he hesitated, the timeline branched a lot further. Mobius considers that his greatest failure. (And while it's never said, I'm guessing this was the reason he got demoted to desk duty; because he was only 99.99% heartless unlike everyone else at the TVA.)

I don't have the words for how fucking tasteless this is. But... SOMEHOW this absolute horror story is treated as what was necessary for Loki to have his big epiphany for what he has to do, as after this he has the talk with Sylvie I mentioned briefly above, and this cascades into the clown-show of a climax.

I realize now why I left this out of my initial summary; because it's so fucking awful it required its own separate essay.

I know you said you weren't watching Loki Season 2 (and trust me, you're better off not doing it), but I DID watch it, and I need to get my thoughts straight and describe how it ended, and I can think of no better way than by telling you.

So... how to put this down concisely in a way that won't make me look insane?

OK, I think I got it.

Loki has somehow gained the ability to transfer his consciousness to any point in his time-stream. What happens to the past version of him when he takes control? Don't know. But ignore that, the story purpose of this is so he can Doctor Strange himself and continually repeat the process of trying to modify the TVA's Temporal Loom before it overloads and destroys all of reality. [In case you don't know, the Temporal Loom apparently "takes raw time and weaves it into the Sacred Timeline", but now that the multiverse is free it can't account for so many new branches, so they want to expand it's output.]

Now you might be thinking "well, the multiverse is infinite, so how can anything quantify it?" And you'd be right, because when Loki finally manages to expand the loom, it still overloads because there is just too many branches. Why did it take him thousands of years to realize it was fruitless? Because this show's Loki is a fucking idiot.

Anyway, at first Loki thinks the solution is to stop Sylvie from killing He Who Remains so the timelines aren't freed (I think the writers forgot that the timelines started branching before HWR died), so by going back along his time-stream he is able to talk with HWR, who tells him... get this... that the Temporal Loom has a fail-safe where if it overloads, it blows up to destroy everything except for the Sacred Timeline, and then it's rebuilt. So that puts Loki back to where he was at the end of Season 1 both narratively and literally; either protect one timeline and only one timeline by wiping out quintillions of lives, or let everything burn completely.

Right now you're probably thinking "killing quintillions of people to save a few trillion doesn't feel like a good tradeoff" and you'd be right. Loki thinks so too, because he tells Sylvie that he doesn't think it's worth keeping one timeline alive at the cost of all the others. So what does he do?

... to be honest, I don't fully grasp it, so stay with me here.

He does back to the moment before the Temporal Loom was destroyed, and somehow uses his powers to rip it apart himself and contain the explosion so it doesn't incinerate anything.... I think, because after that there are millions of little strands that I guess are supposed to represent timelines. And then.... I still can't believe what I saw... Loki reaches out and starts grabbing as many strands/timelines as he can, and weaves them into what I think is supposed to be the Tree of Yggdrasil, and at the end of the sequence he sits down on a throne at the center of the "tree".

How does any of this work physically? How can Loki do any of this? Fuck you, that's how!

What does any of it mean? I haven't the faintest clue. The best I can figure, the Tree of Yggdrasil is quite literally a physical representation of the multiverse and Loki is holding it together by sheer force of will, so he did in fact get out of HWR's puzzle box.

The cynic in me initially thought the opposite was true, and the tree represented just the Sacred Timeline, so we were back to square one and free will doesn't exist. And in my defense, there isn't any dialogue denying that. In the final scene we're back at the TVA, which seems to just be looking out for Kang variants now (Mobius briefly mentions the term "616", implying they are cataloguing timelines now I guess), but... as we've talked about many times, trying to turn a Nazi organization into something better, with ALL of the same people (minus Renslayer) to boot, will inevitably crash and burn. AND ALSO, the Tree is still a finite thing, so how is it accounting for literal infinite timelines? I dunno, it just is.

Written out I'm realizing how wildly incoherent this seems, but I swear I'm being as concise as I can. This show is just a nonsensical disaster.

Okay, that was the wildest ride I've been in a while. I don't know how to thank you because I genuinely loved that 👌

So... Loki can grab timelines now? 😂😂 See, this is what I meant with my review of The Marvels, the powers range in these new phases is all over the place. We have so many characters who are widely OP for no freaking reason, it is not explained, they just have that ability out of nowhere and the writers don't care about what that might mean in upcoming movies and series. Just like Wanda in MoM: if you give her such overarching powers, when we see her throwing a punch here and there it seems comical. Ridiculous, even.

Anyway, if I understand correctly then the timelines are still controlled, just by Loki this time instead of HWR? And the TVA still exists? So how is that a good thing? God, what happened to Marvel that they went from "Hydra, Shield, it all goes" to "Let's keep the TVA alive, they can do some good". Did they show the agents actually learning that all the shit the TVA taught them was wrong? Otherwise they will cause the same problems all over again. The problem wasn't HWR, the problem was that those agents believed in what they were doing. If they don't have a change of heart, they will repeat it all over again.

And character-wise, did Loki learn anything about himself? Or was it all talk about timelines and him taking over? Ugh, I'm so glad I didn't watch it...

[vidavalor]

Lokius/Mobius thoughts...

The part of the jet ski conversation that gets lost in the shuffle is the most interesting bit to me. It's not when Mobius expresses why he loves jet skis but when he expresses what he feels about basically all of history that causes him to love the rare bright spots like, to him, jet skis. He says that all of history is basically terrible and then it nearly all of it gets destroyed. Listen to that. Sit with that for a moment.

This guy is exhausted. He admitted to Loki in another scene that he has no idea how long he's been at the TVA but we know it's been awhile and no one really ever seems to do anything but solve time crimes. Mobius is the only real subtle rebel we see in the place-- he has his jet ski magazines and there's a novel on his desk. He's smart and a little bored and a little depressed and Loki-- *this* Loki-- is the human equivalent of jet skis to him.

Mobius has seen and knows about history and while he has not lost a sense of empathy and compassion towards humanity at all, he has lost something of a sense of hope that things that are dark and repeated traumas can maybe end for the better. 'Most of history is terrible and then it's destroyed' is also basically the story of Loki's life-- most of it was kind of awful and then he was brutally murdered. The end. It must have depressed the living hell out of Mobius to watch that. Loki's life was essentially Mobius' favorite story, only it was real and he knew it was, and he just absolutely *hated* the ending.

He hated it so much that at some point, he actually took a tempad and *went into the movie*, which is not what the TVA is supposed to do. They are supposed to halt stories that deviate from what they are told the plan is. The changes they make are to prune and shape, sure, but to a specific end goal and there's no reason to go roaming around time and space without that. Yet, Mobius went into the story and while Thor is meeting the Guardians of the Galaxy, Mobius is seeing Loki-- this Loki, *his* Loki-- in person for the first time and it's when Loki is still very dead, having been floating on a rock in space until Mobius probably pulled his body into a ship.

Consider that the tape of Loki's life ends with his death in Infinity War. That's where his file ends, officially, with the TVA but Mobius was the real ending. Long before he and Loki would figure out how there could be no consequences in the moments before the death that is an apocalypse, Mobius had figured out there would be no consequences for him if he hid away the dagger he took from Loki's body-- the one that Loki had conjured to kill Thanos, that he had *made* from his own magic, that was then a part of *Loki himself*- as no one would know Mobius was here, hiding in the bit of time after Loki's file-- and life-- had ended.

It is, in all likelihood, Mobius who closed Loki's eyes and draped something over him, probably his own TVA jacket. It is, in all likelihood, Mobius who recovered Loki's body in Infinity War and buried him somewhere.

Mobius buried Loki before he ever met him.

He and Loki look at one another for the first time, meeting with Loki alive for the first time, as Loki is shouting about how the TVA will not dictate how his story will end, having no idea that Mobius was his epilogue before and has since decided to help Loki rewrite all of the last chapters. History is terrible and then it gets destroyed. Mobius thought that true but didn't let it completely best him into cynicism-- it made him seek to be someone who would try to make proverbial jet skis happen. History might be a series of dark times upon dark times but Mobius can find the joy in it and when he's broken by Loki's horrible ending, he wants to change it because Loki, too, is to Mobius a rare alignment of form and function-- a perfect, beautiful, god equivalent of a jet ski that should not be destroyed.

When was the moment that Mobius decided to go back for a second dagger? Did he take it from some point in The Dark World, off of the illusion of a dead Loki, so he again would not disrupt time as Loki would not be able to interact with him? The two daggers from The Dark World and Infinity War look alike. Why does it matter? Because one would have sufficed for Mobius to have for himself, to keep as a memory of the Loki he only ever got to see in person in death, but two? Two daggers means he meant to give them *to* Loki. Two daggers of Loki's own making, to protect himself with and help him rewrite his story because Loki is always better with two than with one alone and one alone is too reminiscent of his murder for Mobius' taste.

Mobius was a man tired of the order of bad endings, tired of just observing, tired of reading and watching a story unfold and not being able to be a character in the story of his own life, let alone Loki's. He was already beginning to burn down the TVA just by wanting so desperately to inject it with a dose of the literal God of Mischief. He had fallen in love with the protagonist of the saddest damn story he'd ever watched and then decided to go from watching it-- yet another tragic tale in history, yet another beautiful part of the world destroyed-- to deciding that he was going to become a part of the story himself.

The movie is now his story, too, and he is determined for it to have a different ending this time around. One day, this Loki variant-- the same man Mobius fell in love with watching, really, just stopped at the point of the beginning of his terrible demise (taking the Tesseract)-- this Loki variant will have a different movie that ends with the end of his life again but Mobius will be in this movie now, too, and with any luck, it will not end with a tragic murder but some happiness and peace. History might be terrible but Loki, now, maybe won't be destroyed and Mobius was already burning down his world for that before he ever walked into Ravonna's courtroom to save Loki and step not just into Loki's life but more fully into his own. That's just... really romantic and lovely. This damn show is going to slow burn the living hell out of this, aren't they?

[reyofluke-ocs]

Tell! Me! All about Sigrid!! I am utterly curious!!

Hope you're doing well!!

Hello! I am doing pretty well; I hope you are also doing alright!

SIGRID!!! I love her so much and really want to do more with her, but I know my OCs vary from well-known fandoms to obscure fandoms to purely self-indulgent rewrites of canon so honestly I don't blame people for running away from my blog at the first chance they get, haha. She is a MCU/Moon Knight OC and the daughter of Loki and Sigyn, if her last name (Lokidottir) wasn't enough indicator. She is also in a poly ship with Marc, Steve, and Layla, and possibly maybe Jake later on I'm not 100% sure. She survives the attack on the ship and witnesses Loki's death, which causes her to eventually flee New Asgard to explore Midgard like she'd always wanted to but never got a chance to. Total daddy's girl, especially because I'm imagining Sigyn died quite awhile before the events of Thor 1 (since to my memory she has never shown up or even been mentioned in any MCU film to date though in mythology she was married to Loki), and as a result Loki became very.... protective of her. Others may see Loki as evil and nothing more than a trickster, but she knows there's good in her father.

She ends up taking a position at the British Museum of History as an expert in Norse Mythology where she befriends Steven, as they both don't fit in and really have no other friends. She basically involves herself in the whole Harrow-Amit thing by staying after dark to follow Steven around because she can tell Harrow is more than he seems and has an interest in her friend. Which is how she meets Marc and learns about Moon Knight, Khonshu, etc.

Her and Khonshu do NOT get along for like 95% of the show arc - he doesn't trust her because she's a 'godling', specifically of Loki, and therefore a trickster like her father. They reluctantly start to get along after he realizes she stubbornly refuses to leave Marc, Steven, and Layla.

Layla initially wasn't sure what to make of this Asgardian that is best friends with her husband's alter but can't help but befriend Sigrid because of how curious she is. It also doesn't help that Sigrid is capable of holding her own in a fight, despite how naive she first appears with her fascination with everything Midgard.

She does use magic, which is appears green like her fathers, and also uses twin daggers like her father. Those are her main weapons, but she also inherited Loki's ability to shape-shift. Rather than being able to shape-shift into anyone or anything, Sigrid is primarily only able to shape-shift into a raven and, I'm thinking, a snake and maybe a wolf. She prefers her raven form out of those three though.

Her flat is kind of terrifying at first glance, because she has little religious shrines - one to her Uncle Thor, one to her father, and one to her mother - and while only really Thor's is received, having one for her parents is one of the ways she honors them.

Also I chose Daisy Ridley for her FC because I love her and adored the chemistry between Daisy and Oscar in the sequels-I-pretend-doesn't-exist and love Marc x Layla x Steven as an OT3 from the show (my social work background is telling me my preference for OT3+ is probably something i should examine further but uh that's not happening anytime soon if I can help it) and wanted to connect Moon Knight to the larger MCU so Sigrid was born.

I'll probably reblog this post at a later date with other facts (or might just make a separate post info-dumping on her)

ALSO I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF I DIDN'T SAVE THE SECOND GIF IN A BASE BEFORE ADDING THE COLORING SO I HAVE A GIF I LOVE WITH A COLORING I DESPISE NOW AHHHHH AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THE HOURS TO REMAKE A SHITTY REMAKE OF IT KILL MEEE.

[cappymightwrite]

ASOIAF & Norse Mythology

PART 1: Introduction

Laying Out the Groundwork...

I’ve been interested in all things Norse/Vikings for a long time now, so when I first read George RR Martin’s ASOIAF series I was struck by, as I think many people have been, the quite obvious parallels to Norse mythology and Viking Age culture. I’ve read a few other Norse themed metas here and there, but I thought I might have a go at adding my own two cents since I am currently doing a masters in Viking and Medieval Norse studies at two Nordic universities...despite the hellfire that is 2020.

(Am I procrastinating my uni work by doing this meta? Yes. Do I regret it? …ask me later.)

I haven’t read every single Norse/ASOIAF meta out there, but from the ones I have read, I think there has been a bit of a tendency to argue for very direct parallels between the two. For instance, claiming one ASOIAF character as an explicit parallel for a particular Norse mythological figure, or using certain mythic events, and how they are described within their medieval sources, as an exact blueprint for how things are going to play out in the books.

(Let’s all just pretend the show and its ending didn’t happen. Ok, good? Good.)

I completely understand the urge to take this approach, it is a very tempting, fun thing to do. However, I think it maybe conveniently sets aside some unfortunate home truths that rather harm this kind of reading:

[November 27, 1998, on the topic of the Wars of the Roses]

The Wars of the Roses have always fascinated me, and certainly did influence A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE, but there's really no one-for-one character-for-character correspondence. I like to use history to flavour my fantasy, to add texture and verisimilitude, but simply rewriting history with the names changed has no appeal for me. I prefer to reimagine it all, and take it in new and unexpected directions.

[February 29, 2000, on the topic of historical influences for Dorne]

I read a lot of history, and mine it for good stuff, but I also like to mix and match. That is to say, I don’t do straight one-for-one transplants, as some authors do, so you can’t really say that X in Westeros equals Y in real life. More often X in Westeros equals Y and Z in real life, with squidges of Q, L, and A.

[June 20, 2001 on the topic of whether GRRM borrows from history for the character of Loras Tyrell]

Well, yes and no. I have drawn on a great many influences for these books. I do use incidents from history, yes, although I try not to do a straight one-for-one transposition of fact into fiction. I prefer to mix and match, and to add in some imaginative elements as well.

These are just a few examples I’ve pulled out, and granted he’s talking about historical sources in all three instances here, but nevertheless I think the same thing applies to mythological sources as well: GRRM does not do ‘straight one-for-one transplants.’ Bearing this in mind, I would be very hesitant to say that Robert Baratheon equals Þórr (Thor), for example. That kind of shoehorning is not what I’m interested in with this particular meta. Instead, I want to look at how the ways in which the Norsemen’s mythological worldview might have influenced GRRM’s writing, and more specifically what we’ll eventually be facing in The Winds of Winter.

An Argument for Norse Influence…

A lot of the time when people discuss Norse parallels in ASOIAF the assumption that GRRM has read and is explicitly drawing on Norse mythology is taken as a given. The parallels seem so obvious that we don’t take a moment to consider the validity of that assumption before ploughing straight ahead with various comparisons and theories. So, before I really begin, I think it’s important to actually give some evidence as to why I agree that GRRM has read certain Norse mythological texts and is therefore consciously using them in his writing.

For starters, just trawling through some of the fan questions he’s answered in the past (NB: I was planning to go through all of them, but…there’s just so many), GRRM does make a few references to Norse myths/Vikings, e.g.:

[June 11, 1999, on the topic of Ravens as messenger birds]

[…] I also liked the mythic resonances. Odin used ravens as his messengers, and they were also thought be able to fly between the worlds of the living and the dead.

[April 23, 2001, on the topic of Wildlings in the north]

Raiding is definitely a part of wildling culture, as it was for many in the real world -- the Norse who went a-viking every summer, the ancient Celtic cattle raiders, the Scots border reivers, etc.

So, from just these two examples it is clear to us that GRRM has some degree of knowledge regarding Norse mythology and Viking Age culture. You could argue that this is just a basic kind of knowledge, which isn’t illustrative of any deeper understanding or interest. However, I think the first quote proves otherwise.

Apart from Þórr, Óðinn (Odin) is probably the most well known out the Norse gods to a non-medievalist audience; though thanks to Marvel comics/films, Loki is quite (in)famous as well. Quite a lot of people might know that Óðinn is associated with ravens, two in particular: Huginn and Muninn, whose names translate from Old Norse-Icelandic to ‘Thought’ and ‘Mind’ or ‘Memory,’ respectively. But their function, or role in connection to Óðinn, might require a bit of a deeper read and understanding.

Indeed, in the quote above GRRM notes that they are Óðinn´s ‘messengers,’ which is a detail that occurs in several Old Norse sources, namely in chapter 38 of the Gylfaginning section of Snorri Sturluson’s Prose Edda (c. 1220), as well as in the Eddic poem Grímnismál, a work that is included in the Codex Regius (compiled 13th cent., containing 31 poems), the principal manuscript of the Poetic Edda:

‘Two ravens sit on Óðinn’s shoulders, and into his ears they tell all the news they see or hear. Their names are Huginn [Thought] and Muninn [Mind, Memory]. At sunrise he sends them off to fly throughout the whole world, and they return in time for the first meal. Thus he gathers knowledge about many things that are happening, and so people call him the raven god. As is said:

Huginn and Muninn

fly each day

over the wide world.

I fear for Huginn

that he may not return,

though I worry more for Muninn.’

                                                         (The Lay of Grimnir, 20)

In fact, as seen above, Snorri uses Grímnismál as a source to back up his own claims within the Gylfaginning.*

NB: In Old Norse, Gylfaginning translates to ‘the beguiling’ or ‘deluding of Gylfi.’ It is the first part of Snorri’s Prose Edda, and is structured as a question-and-answer conversation between Gylfi — a king of ‘the land that men now call Sweden,’ though there’s no historical record of him — under the guise of the name Gangleri, and three enthroned men: High, Just-As-High and Third. In chapter 20 of Gylfaginning it is revealed that these are in fact pseudonyms for Óðinn. 

Elsewhere, we see reference to Huginn and Muninn as messengers in Snorri’s other work, Heimskringla (c. 1230), a collection of several sagas about Swedish and Norwegian kings. In chapter 7 of Ynglinga saga, Snorri writes that:

[Óðinn] had two ravens which he had trained to speak. They flew over distant countries and told him much news. From these things he became extremely wise.

So, we can see that this detail about Huginn and Muninn as messenger birds is well established in several Old Norse sources, and is therefore likely to be included in any general guide or overview to Norse mythology. GRRM could have left it at that and all would be fine and dandy. But he doesn’t. He adds that ‘they were also thought be able to fly between the worlds of the living and the dead.’ For me, this is an interesting inclusion, because as you can see from the quotes above, though they are said to travel ‘over the wide world’ and ‘over distant countries,’ it isn’t explicitly stated in the Prose Edda, Poetic Edda or Heimskringla that they fly between the realms of the living and the dead. 

The closest thing I can find that fits in with what GRRM is saying here is a fragmentary verse from the Third Grammatical Treatise, a text composed around the middle of the 13th century by Óláfr Þórðarson, a nephew of Snorri Sturluson (and he seems to have been influenced by his uncle’s works). The second part of this text contains examples of Old Norse-Icelandic skaldic poetry — this is where we find our reference to Huginn and Muninn:

Two ravens flew from Hnikar’s [Óðinn’s]

shoulders; Huginn to the hanged and

Muninn to the slain [lit. corpses].

                                                                       [TGT]

According to this verse, from Óðinn’s shoulders, the two ravens fly to the ‘hanged’ and the ‘slain,’ so their association with death is pretty clear. The problem, however, with saying that they ‘fly between the worlds of the living and the dead,’ is which worlds? Does he mean from Miðgarðr (Midgard) to Valhöll* ´the hall of the slain’? Or to Fólkvangr ‘field of the host’? Or from Ásgarðr (Asgard) to Hel? I know what he means, I’m just being pedantic.

NB: Valhalla is a modernised version of the Old Norse-Icelandic Valhöll — in modern Icelandic, the ‘LL’ in Valhöll is pronounced sort of like ‘TL.’ So, for instance, the new Assassin’s Creed game…the Norsemen/Vikings, as well as later medieval sources, wouldn’t have referred to it as Valhalla, they would have called it Valhöll. 

But back to the Third Grammatical Treatise — it should be noted that, according to Tarrin Wills, ‘of the poetic examples, a large amount of material is not found elsewhere and a large proportion of that is anonymous.’ Furthermore, the above fragment in particular ‘belongs to no known poem’ (Wills), which is probably why we don’t find this kind of detail about Huginn and Muninn elsewhere in other, better known mythic sources, such as the Prose Edda.

What I’m trying to get at here is that, in my mind, for GRRM to make the claim that Óðinn’s ravens were ‘thought be able to fly between the worlds of the living and the dead’ he’d have to have more than just a basic interest in Norse mythology, because not all guides/overviews/introductions to the Norse myths include or reference this obscure, fragmentary verse. I mean, I don’t particularly remember it coming up in my Old Nordic Religion and Belief module I did last year, so that’s why it stands out to me.

Ok, so GRRM has definitely read up on Norse mythology. Great, point proved! Ah…but then there’s this:

[January 20, 1999]

[Summary from Kay-Arne Hansen: I asked him if he had read 'Norwegian Kingssagas' by Snorre Sturlasson, and explained that I thought so on the basis of Sansa's story about Ser Arryk and Ser Erryk seeming to be the equivalent of the brother kings Alrik and Eirik, and went on to make suggestions about other possible 'inspirators' from the 'Kingssagas'.]

Ah... well... a fascinating theory, but...

I did take a semester of Scandinavian history back my sophomore year in college, which was.... hmmmm... around about 1967-8. I read a couple of Icelandic sagas during the course, and found them thoroughly compelling, but after the passage of thirty years I confess I no longer recall the titles or the names of any of the characters. It may be that chunks of them, buried in my subconscious, somehow surfaced during A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE... but it seems a long shot.

Ser Arryk and Ser Erryk were inspired by the twin knights of Arthurian myth, Sir Balon and Sir Balin, who appear in Mallory.

Sorry.

Nice try, though.

I came across this Q/A on reddit and the response was quite a few redditors feeling a tad despondent. They seemed to understand GRRM’s answer to mean that any reference/allusion to Norse mythology in his texts were just memories of a long ago Scandinavian history course ‘buried in [his] subconscious’ that ‘somehow surfaced’ during the writing process, so weren’t intentional, conscious inclusions. Even then, GRRM considers this hypothesis ‘a long shot.’

However, I wouldn’t necessary give up all hope, because the texts being referred to here are Snorri Sturluson’s Heimskringla, which we looked at above, and most likely the Íslendingasögur (aka the Sagas of Icelanders), referred to by GRRM as ‘a couple of Icelandic sagas’ he read in college. 

Heimskringla does include mythological content, but as I’ve already mentioned, it’s primarily a history of Norwegian and Swedish kings — though it should be noted that GRRM doesn’t outright say he hasn’t read Heimskringla. As for the text(s) he does mention, in Egils saga for instance, there is reference to pre-Christian religion, but again, I wouldn’t look to the Íslendingasögur as a go-to source for Norse myths.

Granted, the question being asked is about historical sources and inspirations, I still think it’s telling that GRRM doesn’t mention having read the Prose Edda or Poetic Edda here. Because those are the two key textual sources that we look to for the Norse myths, and even though they were written/compiled well after the conversion to Christianity, they still arguably preserve aspects and memories of what went before. So, I really doubt he wouldn’t have come across them on that Scandinavian History course — the gradual conversion to Christianity in Scandinavia and Iceland is a pretty important period in their cultural history. Going further, I think that these are texts he’s returned to time and time again...in particular the sections that refer to the ‘Twilight of the Gods,’ aka Ragnarök.

References/Bibliography:

Snorri Sturluson, Heimskringla I: The Beginnings to Óláfr Tryggvason, trans. by Alison Finlay & Anthony Faulkes, (London: Viking Society for Northern Research, 2011)

Snorri Sturluson, The Prose Edda, trans. and intr. by Jesse Byock, (London: Penguin Classics, 2005)

Tarrin Wills, “The Anonymous Verse in the Third Grammatical Treatise,” in The Fantastic in Old Norse/Icelandic Literature, Sagas, and the British Isles: Preprint Papers of The 13th International Saga Conference Durham and York, 6–12 August 2006, ed. by John McKinnell, David Ashurst & Donata Kick, (Durham: The Centre for Medieval and Renaissance Studies, 2006)

END OF PART 1...

With that out of the way, parts 2 and 3 will be on:

The ‘Long Night’ and the Fimbulvetr

Ragnarök and the ‘Red Comet’

I’ve also go some other potential parts in the works, but let me know what you thought of this, if I should continue, or if I should just shut up, lol. I promise the next sections will be dealing with the really interesting stuff, I just wanted to strengthen my forthcoming arguments with this intro first :D

Cappy x

[ravenforce]

Ithaca Pt. 4

Word Count: 4176

Warning/s: None, except Steve and Val’s kind of a bitch.

A/N: OMG. I’m so sorry I’ve been posting chapters in long intervals but rest assured I’m working on this. I just sometimes write a block of text and hates it on the proofreading phase. So I would end up scraping a chunk of the fic and rewriting it. If you guys, wants to be tagged on this fic, just let me know. And let me know what you think, as always.

PS. If there are any grammatical mistakes I’ve still overlooked, I apologize.

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 5 

***

It was dark outside when you arrived at your shared apartment with your schoolbag slung against your shoulder and a box of groceries in your arms. Your class finished around five in the afternoon. You didn’t mean to be out late but you figured it’s better to get acquainted with the town now rather than later when you’re swamped with school work.

“Welcome home,” Maria greeted as she emerged to the living room with wet hair, and only wearing an oversized shirt and underwear.

You tried not to flush at the sight of your best friend’s long legs but you’re only human, and you’ll have to be an idiot not to appreciate such a beauty like Maria. Maria noticed the pink on your cheeks before you could decide to duck your head and go about fixing your haul on the cupboards in the kitchen.

“How’s your first day?” Maria asked after purposefully jumping on the counter next to you.

You’ve known Maria all your life. Even after she got adopted, the two of you kept in touch regularly. So when you caught the glint on her eye, and you saw the mischievous smirk on her lips, you knew exactly what she’s doing.

“It’s intense. Your friends are intense,” you answered as you continue the task at hand. “How about you? How’s your day?”

Maria just shrugged as she watches you finish putting the last of the groceries away. You cocked an eyebrow in her direction. You thought Maria might not be in the sharing mood. So you let it go and is about to pass her to go shower when she stopped you with a hand on the back of your shirt.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to sharing you,” she answered seriously.

You turned on your heel to face her and situate yourself between her dangling legs on the counter. You put your hands on either side of her thigh as you look up in her eyes. Maria didn’t mean to gulp but suddenly her mouth has become very dry.

“Sharing is caring, bubba,” you said before a laugh crawled its way up to your throat and ruining the moment.

Maria rolled her eyes playfully at you. She’s secretly glad that after everything that happened in your life, you manage to maintain your sense of humor. Before she can come up with a retort though, she was surprised when you pulled her by the collar of her huge shirt.

“What the?” Maria yelped.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, young lady,” you said seriously, voice an octave lower than your normal speaking voice. Maria shivered.

“Y/N,” she whispered.

You smiled before pecking her lips and walking away to shower.

“Coward!” Maria whined.

You left the door of the shower open, making your laugh heard all over the apartment.

***

A week has passed since you officially started school, again. A week since you’re officially adopted by the Avengers, making you instantly one of the popular kids. Being exceptional at a very young age, and having been the youngest Stark Industries intern in history (Tony not counted, as he’s technically the heir), you’re used to the limelight but it doesn’t mean you enjoy it.

The Avengers is a pact full of next-level popular kids. Tony Stark, the Odinsons brothers Thor and Loki, Natasha, and Steve are descendants of the families that founded Ithaca. Carol and Valkyrie are both soccer varsity players, while Clint’s an Olympic archer. Wanda’s top psychology student and founder of the school’s peer counseling group, and Maria’s one of the leading tech student and captain of the school’s self-defense club. So it goes without saying that every eye is on them anywhere they go, and walking alongside these kids somehow makes you feel a little vulnerable, seen, exposed. 

Thankfully, your schedule is packed between classes, volunteering in the library, and a job in one of the small clubs downtown. You mostly interact with them over breakfast (since apparently, it’s a long-standing tradition between the group), then lunch break, and free periods. It’s not that you don’t like their company, you actually really do enjoy being around them. Most of them are really funny, too.

It’s their fans that you’re not very fond of because they tend to be loud, trying-hard, and downright obnoxious sometimes. They don’t seem particularly taken to you too. Some of them threw you dirty looks in the cafeteria or whisper when you pass them along the hallway. You’re not really bothered by any of it though. You can understand the animosity towards a stranger who coveted the position everyone was vying for - being friends with the Avengers. 

“Hey! Earth to Y/N,” Tony snapped his fingers in front of your face. 

You had to blink twice to bring yourself back to the present. You remembered you’re actually sitting on the Avengers’ usual spot at Starbucks for breakfast. You took a quick sweep of the table, everyone was present, and all eyes are on you. 

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Carol asked as she places her hand on your arm. 

You saw Nat’s eye twitch at the contact but you ignored it. You turned your head to regard Carol. 

“I’m good. Just tired,” you answered. 

“I understand not being able to sit still and doing nothing but I think working at the club every other night is overdoing it,” Natasha said with her signature poker face but voice dripping with hidden concern.

You couldn’t help the small smile on your face. “I need the money,” you tried to argue. 

“For what? You’re on full scholarship, you paid your half of the rent for the whole year before you moved here, and your patents and investments are paying dividends monthly,” Maria shuts you down. 

You opened and close your mouth to say something but you didn’t know what to say exactly.

“Hill - 1, Y/L/N - 0,” Loki teased, which made Tony laugh so hard he almost fell off his chair.

You pouted. Wanda poked your nose.

“Don’t pout, little one. We’re only looking out for you,” she said before kissing your cheeks. By now, you’re used to Wanda always touching you, always being affectionate. A week and you understood, her love language is touch. So, you allow yourself to enjoy it even for a little bit. You wouldn’t be caught admitting that these kids are growing on you though.

You deepen the pout, which earned a hearty chuckle from Wanda.

“Fine,” you groaned dramatically. “I’ll ask my manager to give me less shift.”

“Good. You need to learn how to be a young adult again,” Thor said before glancing at his watch then standing up and rounding the table to kiss the top of your head. 

Tony bolted up and sat ramrod straight on his chair. He has a wicked smile on his face. 

‘Oh, no’, you thought to yourself. 

“Agreed,” he said carefully. Smile growing by the minute. “That’s why I’m throwing a party in your honor on Friday.”

You groaned while everyone approved and cheered. 

***

A month later.

A month is how long it took for the Avengers to finally settle on a which weekend works for everybody. It was quite hilarious to watch everyone get frustrated because of a party. Little did you know Natasha and Carol’s a little more aggravated than the others because they’re still not any closer to cracking the mystery that is you. Nat and Carol are a little angst too, to say the least, that you’re closer to Thor and Wanda than you are with them.

On your part, you weren’t favoring a pair over another. It just so happened that Thor has really taken to you, and has been helping you get acquainted with the town whenever Tony or Maria isn’t available to do so. He also volunteered to be your fitness partner by taking you jogging around town or going to the gym after class. He has become somewhat the big brother figure you never had, even though you’re almost the same age.

Wanda, on the other hand, is not the type of girl you usually hang out with. All your life, Maria’s the only other girl who’s really close enough to you to drag you outdoors but Maria likes outdoor activities such as paintball and laser tag, hiking, paragliding, and free diving. Wanda, on the other hand, likes going shopping, going to movies, as well as getting massages and pampering treatments at the spa. Usually, you loathe being dragged to do girly activities but you’ve grown to love Wanda’s company enough to let her. She’s cute, smart, funny, and warm.

“Nat, stop tapping your foot. She’ll be here,” Clint teased mildly.

“Why is she still not here?” Carol who’s sitting on the other side of the table interrupted. Clint just had to chuckle at how the two are so much alike than they cared to admit.

“She’ll be here,” Thor said behind the bar after fixing Nat’s drink. Nat nodded at him thankfully before taking a sip of her vodka.

“Are you sure you gave her the right address?” Carol asked while pacing behind Natasha.

Clint and Thor looked at each other at Carol’s accusatory tone. Natasha’s knuckles are turning white as she grips the glass tighter. Loki raised an eyebrow at his brother, silently asking him to diffuse the situation. They worked so hard to get everyone free on the exact same day, and to get the party sorted out, only for these two to blow up at each other face just because they’re pining for the same girl for the first time.

“Relax ladies,” Tony who was silently standing on the balcony and watching the other party-goers by the pool below. “She’s here.”

Carol and Natasha are instantly beside Tony and scanning the crowd for you.

***

You didn’t intend to be late but you had to make sure you got all your homework’s done before going out, so you wouldn’t have to worry about it at and after the party. There’s also the case of not knowing what to wear to such a high profile party. You were sure, half if not the whole school, will be in attendance. Then there’s the case of you initially refusing everyone who offered to pick you up because you didn’t want the extra special treatment.

Then you made a mistake of not taking the cab to the estate because you were saving money, only to realize that there’s no bus stop in the executive part of town because rich kids have their own cars to drive to school. So, you had to walk for a good fifteen minutes before reaching the Starks. It wasn’t hard to find, the industrial designed mansion stood in contrast to the row of classic cul-de-sacs.

You were right, the house is filled with so many people, some are spilling out of the streets. Everyone was so absorbed in the music, dancing, and drinking that you were able to move around covertly. You were able to get inside the house and out on the garden and the pool area without seeing any of your friends along the way. Standing by the side of the pool and about to reach on the inside pocket of your leather jacket to call Tony, when you looked up at the man himself looking back at you with Natasha and Carol. Tony waved, while the two ladies merely gaped as you walk to enter the side of the house they’re in.

***

Tony turned away from the balcony. 

“Close your mouth ladies, it’s unbecoming,” Tony said teasingly before meeting you at the top of the staircase. He immediately engulfed you in a one-arm hug. 

“Finally!” everyone shouts when they saw you.

You smiled at your new friends before noting that the noise from outside is muffled. ‘Soundproof,’ you thought.

“Sorry, I’m late,” you said before walking with Tony at the table.

Most of them assured you it was fine except Steve and Valkyrie who was more interested in continuing their game of pool than join the rest of you. You ignored the fact that they don’t like you but as long as they’re not actively doing something to make your life in Ithaca hell, you really don’t care. 

Maria immediately enveloped you in a hug the moment you flopped down on the couch next to her. 

“You look fantastic, bubba,” she said before planting a sloppy kiss on the side of your face.

You know by the display of affection that Maria had a few drinks in but you’re not there to mother your best friend. You’re there to have fun. So you just smiled at her and kiss her cheeks too. By then, Carol and Natasha have both taken their seats across from you. 

“Only Maria gets a kiss?” Wanda quipped on your other side. You laughed before relenting and giving your new friend a friendly kiss on the cheeks too. 

When you turned forward, you noticed the slight flush on both Carol and Natasha’s cheeks as they both got lost watching you. You had to clear your throat before the two looked you in the eye. 

“Want a kiss too?” you asked confidently. Carol choked on nothing, while Natasha had to avert her eyes for a second.

“And she’s not even drunk yet, ladies and gentlemen,” Tony announced theatrically before laughing out loud. Maria joined in the laughter as well. You would be pissed had it been someone else but these are your best mates. You know it was all good fun. 

“Shut up, you two,” you told your best friends before turning back to Carol and Nat. “I’m sorry, I was kidding.” 

“Jokes are half meant,” Thor said before handing you a glass of JD and coke. You smiled at him gratefully. 

Before you can think of anything witty to throwback though, Steve spoke as he surveys his shot at the pool table. “Big wow! She owns a pair of ratty leather jacket and she’s instantly a player,” he said sarcastically. 

Everyone looked at Steve wide-eyed and utterly surprised that they were unable to say anything at the moment. 

“Give her an award for actually pulling it off. I thought all she knows how to wear was preppy clothes,” Val piped in. 

Maria and Tony clenched their fists. You can see a storm brewing before it starts. So you decided to kick Tony’s shins and putting your hand on Maria’s knees to diffuse their attention. Tony groaned in pain while Maria sighed heavily. 

“You two, go away if you have nothing better to say,” Nat said seriously before you could say anything else. 

Steve’s eyes narrowed for a second before he dropped his sticks on the table and leaving the playroom. Val glanced at Carol to gauge her stand on the matter when she saw Carol’s lips pursed in a thin line, she rolled her eyes before walking away. There a fat pause after the two jocks left. 

“I’m sorry about those two. They probably misplaced their manners tonight,” Carol said, trying to alleviate the awkwardness. 

You smiled. “That’s okay. They don’t know me.” 

“So let them get to know you,” Maria suggested. 

“And I know the best way how,” Tony quickly piped in before pulling out a board game from under the table. “Let’s play a game.”

***

Game one was hours long of tipsy monopoly where you dominated with Natasha. Carol hated that you were drafted to partner up with the redhead. So she drank and drunk as much as Thor would let her while playing the game. Everyone decided to finish the game when eighty-five percent of the estates on the board is already owned by your team.

“Take that Stark,” you taunted your best friend before turning towards Natasha with your hand up waiting for a high-five. 

Natasha didn’t make you wait long before she’s slapping her hand against yours. “It’s a pleasure winning by your side, Tasha,” you murmured while holding her hand still. 

Natasha smiled. In an hour, she found that you’re not only book smart but also street smart. She also found out that you’re a little rough around the edges but still very accommodating, which she really likes about you. “I wouldn’t wanna win with anyone else,” she said sincerely. 

All you could do was grin like an idiot. You wanted to say something else but you were interrupted by Carol’s chair scraping loudly against the hardwood floor as she abruptly stood up. She was looking intently at both you and Natasha, and you noted the fire in her eyes. Then she glanced at yours and Natasha’s clasped hands. 

‘Ah,’ you thought. 

“I’m gonna go find Val at the dance floor,” Carol said, voice strained with what you assume is jealousy. 

Clint who was the only one paying attention to the interaction agreed that it’s time for the hosts of the party to make an appearance. Everyone was on their feet steadily even with the amount of alcohol that was consumed while playing. In fact, you thought the Avengers look steadier and even more confident than usual as they walk down the stairs like celebrities on a catwalk. 

“Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you. I’ll just use to powder room,” you said to Loki who stopped at the top of the stairs to wait for you. He shrugged his shoulder and winked at you. You chuckled to yourself as you think of how opposite the Odinsons are. Thor is friendly and talkative, while Loki is silent but very observant. You like them both, either way.

***

Finding the Avengers in a crowded room isn’t hard. Most people flock around them, always trying to get a moment with them. The party-goers cleared a circle in the middle of the dance floor for the group to dance without being swamped by everybody else. You watched them for a minute before deciding, you’d like to have a drink. So, you made a beeline for the bar where a certain blonde’s sitting alone on it.

“Four tequila shots, please,” you ordered politely.

Carol snorted beside you. “Liquid courage?” she asked teasingly but she’s not smiling and definitely not looking at you.

‘That’s bothering’, you thought. Carol is one of the most confident women you know. There was never a day, ever since your arrival in Ithaca that Carol ever not look in your eyes when she’s speaking to you.

“Drowning something?” you teased back as you note her glass almost full to the brim with scotch.

Carol didn’t answer, still didn’t look at you. When the bartender put down your order, you quickly downed two of them simultaneously. That made Carol look.

“Slow down, you already had a few Jack Cokes upstairs,” she said, clearly concerned.

You made your stool turn towards her. You pushed the other shot glass towards her and she caught it without looking. She quirked an eyebrow at you. You picked up your glass and raised it towards her. Carol doesn't know what’s happening exactly but she clicked your glass together before both of you down the liquid fire.

You jumped out of your stool and made Carol’s spun around to face you.

“Y/N, what the heck?” she yelped as she grips your biceps.

You chuckled before leaning up. “Come dance with me, Captain,” you whispered right beside her ear.

Carol couldn’t help herself from shivering. Your voice, your proximity is doing things to Carol. When you pulled away, you couldn’t help but smirk after seeing her pupils fully dilated.

“Or would you prefer I dance with someone else instead,” you said before offering your hand towards her.

Carol blinked twice before taking your hand. You laughed when Carol nearly shoved you in her haste to get you to the dance floor.

“Sorry,” she said but didn’t make a move to extricate her front against your back. 

You turned on the spot, making Carol hold onto your waist. You pulled her impossibly closer by putting your hand on her nape. Chest to chest you can feel Carol’s heartbeat beating erratically. You chuckled before you spun around again, and you ground your ass against the blonde captain in time with the beat of the music.

“You’re killing me, Y/N,” Carol groaned deeply.

You chuckled. “Already? I haven’t even started yet,” you said close to her ear so she can hear you.

Carol groaned. When you look past her shoulder, you can see Natasha watching you with a mighty frown on her face before Wanda dragged her back on the other side of the dance. At some point in the night, you and Carol rejoined the group, and you danced with Natasha and practically everyone too.

***

The sun was rising when the ballroom of the Stark mansion was emptied except for your group. Everyone was sitting on the floor, drunk and decompressing. Frankly, at that point, all you wanna do was to be in your bed and sleep. Plus points if you could cuddle with Maria. When you look across the room and caught Maria looking back, you know she has the same idea. 

“Alright, I had so much fun. Thank you for throwing this party for me,” you slurred slightly. 

Tony groaned from the floor. “No, no, no. Don’t leave yet. Let’s play another game,” he cried out. 

Everyone was so out of it that they blindly agreed to play. Tony cheered as he grabs the last bottle of scotch and poured everyone with a shot. 

“What are we playing?” Thor asked while leaning on the wall, eyes already closed. 

“Never have I ever,” Tony said. 

Maria stood behind you before reaching out for your glasses. “One shot, and we go home,” she whispered before handing you your glass.

A few questions in but you and Maria still haven’t drunk your last shot.

“Alright, I have a good one,” Clint said. “Never have I ever slept with my best friend.”

He didn’t drink. 

Thor didn’t drink.

Tony didn’t drink.

Loki didn’t drink.

Wanda didn’t drink. 

Then every eye is on you, Maria, Carol, and Natasha. A pregnant pause ensued before you thought, ‘fuck it’ and drinking your glass. 

Maria smiled before throwing back her shot too. 

“Don’t look so surprised,” Tony said before standing up and dusting himself. “She’s gay, not the Virgin Mary.”

***

The Avengers have been partying together all their life that they all had respected guest rooms. Had you stayed for a moment, you would have seen Natasha and Carol downing their shots too.

[omgrachwrites]

May Queen (Loki Laufeyson)

Summary: Astrid, the princess of Vanaheimr relocates to Asgard to seal a betrothal to the youngest prince and an attempt to escape unforeseen forces. She soon finds happiness and a multitude of new friends. Unfortunately treachery and deceit lie in the court of Asgard in unlikely places, and she learns that true love never dies.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, fluff if you squint

Words: 2100

A/N: Guyyys! I know you’re getting tired of hearing this but I’m so sorry!! I was going through a hugee dillemma but everything is all good now! I’m actually thinking about rewriting the summary because I seem to have gone on a bit of a tangent! Hope you guys enjoy, please let me know what you think, if you want to be tagged just shoot me an ask/message, I love you all very much!! xxx

Part Seven - Revelations

The door to Mara’s chambers slammed open, causing the girl at the window to jump and cease in her writings and she glanced up away from the parchment, the quill producing a scarlet drop of ink on the thick wad of parchment. She looked up at the young prince who had a face like thunder, his eyes were wide and they had red marks just below them, his face was deathly pale. It looked like he hadn’t slept for days.

“I was under the illusion that you were a gentleman Loki. Aren’t gentlemen supposed to knock?” Mara questioned, tilting her head to the side innocently.

“Don’t bloody test me Mara!” he hissed furiously, “are you mad? Attempting to poison Astrid right underneath her mother’s nose?”

“I didn’t try to poison her,” she shrugged, “though I wish I had,” she muttered underneath her breath.

“It had to be you! You’re the only one who wants her dead!”

Mara let out a shrill mirthless laugh, “clearly not, clearly someone else has got it in for her and to be honest my dear, I can hardly blame them.”

She stood from where she was sitting by the window and walked towards him, going to cup his handsome face. Loki flinched away, fury blazing in his cold icy eyes and Mara swore that there was another emotion residing in those depths, perhaps it was hate.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” he whispered and a feeling like that of a knife shot through Mara’s chest, right through her heart.

“I didn’t try and poison her Loki; you have to believe me, please. The guards searched this room,” she gestured at the small room, “they found nothing.”

The palace guards were in the process of searching every possible chamber for any shred of evidence relating to the attempted assassination of the princess.

“Why can’t you do this anymore? You knew what we had to do right from the beginning. Are you getting cold feet? Is it because she’s beautiful?”

Loki’s eyes found the floor when she asked that question.

“Take heed darling, the beautiful flowers are the most poisonous ones. Trying to love her will be your undoing, her father obviously learned that when he died.”

Loki scoffed in apparent disbelief at her words but she knew that she was right, if the prince wasn’t careful he’d be dragged down to his doom right alongside Astrid, “yeah, we’ll see,” Loki narrowed his eyes and turned to leave, stopping short when Mara started speaking again.

“I thought that you loved me, you said that you did, you swore it! I didn’t think that you’d lie to me, please Loki. We’ve known each other since we were children, we’ve got a history, don’t throw that all away.”

“I did love you, truly I did,” Loki started, keeping his back to her, his chest hurting. Mara had been so kind and perfect but she’d turned into a monster. A monster that he couldn’t slay, “but Astrid is different, she’s kind and gracious and beautiful. She’s everything that a princess should be. I’m not against marrying her anymore.”

“Or loving her it seems,” Mara sighed sadly.

“Tell me, how much is a prince’s soul worth?” Loki dreaded the answer but he had to know.

“A lot less than a princess’, don’t think that I didn’t consider it. I don’t want to lie to you.”

Loki said nothing but turned his head to look at her with a stare so venomous that it made Mara’s blood run icy cold, she was surprised that she didn’t turn into stone right there and then. His eyes almost looked red. He left without another word, slamming the door to the room fiercely as he went. A feeling of overwhelming sadness washed over Mara, filling her entire being. Though, she couldn’t cry. Even though her eyes were heavy and there was a lump in her throat the tears simply wouldn’t come.

It would be a lot easier if she didn’t love Loki, a prince’s soul meant less to the fairy council than a princess’ but it would still restore her world and family. Even in the days that had passed when she had seen Loki leave lingering touches on Astrid’s waist and kisses on her cheek – that made the princess blush scarlet – Mara had been so heartbroken that she wanted to make Loki pay. In reality, she’d never be able to carry out her wishes. She could never kill the man that she loved even though he continued to kill her over and over.

Mara sighed and resigned to finishing her letter, wincing every time she made a scarlet ink splotch, it was hard for her to write beautifully but she must try. It had to be a perfect match. She sealed the letter with the seal that she had stolen and she made her way to where the letter needed to end up, along with the phial. It was difficult to go about without being seen because it seemed that the entire palace was on high alert. Though, somehow she managed it.

Later on, the princess returned back to her chambers, her hair was unkempt and tangled and she looked extremely tired. In truth, without the small amount of product that Astrid usually put on her skin she was actually very plain in Mara’s opinion, she didn’t look much like a princess anymore. She smiled tiredly at Mara and got into bed, pulling Mara with her to rest her head on Mara’s shoulder and like a dutiful handmaiden Mara wrapped an arm around her.

“How did it go?” she asked and Astrid sniffled and shook her head.

“The guards didn’t find anything,” she stammered, “they checked all the servants’ quarters and found nothing. I’m scared that someone wants me dead, no one knew that I was having a taster at the feast, I was the clear target,” she shivered in fear.

“It’s going to be okay,” Mara cooed, stroking Astrid’s hair as she fought the urge to roll her eyes, “I’m almost certain that they’ll find something soon enough,” Astrid sniffled and nodded in response.

After a while, the princes dropped into a restless slumber fraught with nightmares and Mara contemplated the fact that it’d be so easy to kill Astrid in her sleep. She could make it look like a tragic accident. On the other hand, Mara wanted to enjoy the assassination of the princes. She wanted Astrid to suffer. She deserved that much.

---------------------------------------------

Astrid smiled just a little as Loki took her hand in his, she didn’t even mind that his hands were cold because the kiss that he dropped on the top of her hand was as warm as the summer sun. She could tell that something was bothering him but she didn’t want him to feel like she was prying. Loki gave her a dimpled smile as they walked down the lengthy corridor towards the throne room.

“How are you feeling, considering everything that’s happened?” he asked, Astrid didn’t want to tell him the whole truth. It felt like it would make it all real if she said it out loud and she was still hoping that all of this was a very bad dream. But Loki’s question and concern sounded so sincere.

“I’m confused and scared,” she admitted, refusing to look at him, “I didn’t do anything wrong, who would want to kill me?”

“Astrid,” Loki said softly, resting his hand on her lower back and he stopped in the hallway. Astrid chewed her lip and looked up at him as he cupped her cheeks, “this is not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong and you definitely don’t deserve this. You’re everything a princess should be. Whoever is doing this to you is quite clearly mad and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure they don’t hurt you.”

Astrid teared up slightly as he finished his little speech. For the first time she felt safe by his side. Loki leaned down towards her and brushed his lips against hers very softly and reassuringly before pulling away.

“Ready princess?”

Astrid sighed and bit her lip, “no, I’m not but let’s not keep them waiting,” she took a deep breath and placed her hand in Loki’s outstretched hand and they strolled into the throne room together to hopefully find out who wanted Astrid dead.

There had been a buzz and a murmur echoing in the splendid room which fell silent when the reigning princess made her presence known, it seemed like the entire royal court had turned up today. Everybody’s eyes landed on Astrid and she could see the sympathy in their faces, she didn’t want their sympathy, it couldn’t help her through the hardship she was currently facing.

Arna, Erik’s wife – Erik was the knight that Astrid had loved, years ago it seemed now – rushed forward and embraced Astrid like a sister, murmuring words of comfort but Astrid hardly heard her. She smiled weakly at Arna as the Queen stood gracefully from her gilded throne and almost glided over to her daughter.

“The healer has just finished his examination of the body,” her mother started, “it seemed like your taster died from Wraith venom, and what’s more I know who made it and sold it.”

Astrid didn’t know much about Wraith venom, only that it was highly illegal, “mother, how?” she trailed off, sharing worried glances with Loki.

“Everybody’s work is slightly unique, your father was a budding alchemist, he frequented the shop that it was bought in, and I recognise the work. He’ll be here soon.”

Astrid nodded as she and Loki made the way up the stairs to take their seats just beneath the Queen’s throne and they waited. As the shopkeeper was brought in he was beside himself in near hysterics but he admitted to everything, apologising over and over. He swore that he had no idea that his work would be used against the royal family. His questioning passed in a sort of blur for Astrid but she gave it her full attention when the alchemist was asked for details about the customer who bought the poison from him.

“I couldn’t see much of her features Your Grace but it was definitely a woman, she never put her hood down but I could see her eyes and the strands of her hair. Bright emerald eyes, outlined with a blue so dark it was almost black and brown, maybe auburn hair. I wish that I could help but I couldn’t see her face really. Her voice though, it sounded like she was singing as she spoke, I believe that I would recognise it if I heard it again. Her cloak was very fine; she didn’t reside in the town.”

Astrid frowned, this was her life at stake and she was annoyed that the shopkeeper’s description would hardly help the guards catch the culprit, “what kind of cloak was it? Were there any features of it that stood out?”

The shopkeeper took a deep breath and squinted as he reached into the depths of his mind to extract the memories, Astrid was waiting with bated breath.

“It was a very thick forest green cloak with flower embellishments embroided into the stitching, a very fine rich cloak,” at his words Astrid got yet again annoyed and tensed up, relaxing when she felt Loki link his fingers through hers. She got so annoyed because virtually every woman at court had one, Astrid even owned one.

“There was a precious gemstone at the neck of the cloak also,” that was less common, only a few ladies had stones set into their cloaks and if they did have one it was always set in yellow gold, “it was a topaz set in white gold.”

The throne room rang with a couple of gasps as Astrid looked at Loki with a shocked look on her face but he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking across the room with a strange look on his face, it was almost like it was a mixture of confusion and anger. It was getting slightly hard for Astrid to breath. She had to concentrate on the feeling of Loki’s hand in hers. Everybody knew who that cloak belonged to.

As if right on cue, the palace guards entered from the rear door, they had the cloak in question, an empty phial and a thick wad of parchment with a scarlet wax seal that had been broken.

“Arrest her,” the Captain of the guards muttered, “this letter is basically her confession.”

--------------------------------------------- 

@theonelittleone​ @void-imaginations​

[thunderaesir]

      This is as it states above, an Endgame rewrite. While I’m not editing the events of the movie, I am adjusted how my character was portrayed and how he was treated, especially by other characters in universe. If I change something and you do not agree with it, we can discuss it, but I feel like my changes are minimal and may in fact be more in character than the way these characters were portrayed in the movie. If I don’t mention any changes to a specific part of the movie, expect that it remains movie canon.

      I could go on and on about how badly Thor was treated, how ooc some of the characters were as a whole and how they fridged yet another female character while intending to continue profiting off her by giving her a solo movie, all the while knowing that she ultimately dies for some bizarre redemption arc that she didn’t even need because they couldn’t be bothered to give her a real personality in the first place and instead forced upon her numerous situations which made zero fucking sense. (Shout out the to the Nat writers who actually give her depth and expand on her history and personality and make her a three dimensional character. That is what we deserved in a female hero.) But I won’t. I will try and keep this short. (Update: I tried but it’s not short.)

      Let me make this very clear: I have NO issue with Thor being fat. My version of Thor did let himself go too, if only to a lesser extent. Being fat has nothing to do with your value and worth as a person and fat people deserve as much love and respect as ‘not fat’ people. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Thor got fat. He was not treated with respect. He was turned into a joke and reduced to a punchline. His pain was ignored, his right to express and work through his trauma was ignored, and according to canon, even Bruce, who Thor had just found and liberated from two years stuck on Sakaar as the Hulk, didn’t even bother reaching out to see if his friend was ok. Spoilers: he was not. 

      I know the Avengers aren’t as close as in the comics. I know that. It’s something we were robbed of and we will always have deserved better than seeing them hangout like twice. But they were a team. They were friends. They respected one another and they did in fact grow together after New York. Even though they didn’t spend all their time together, we are led to believe that they have a bond. If we accept that, moving forward, then like…what the fuck????

      There were red flags before he killed Thanos, and uh the fact that he seemed ‘fine’ after killing Thanos, knowing they had all failed, is one of the biggest fucking red flags of them all. I assume Thor immediately dove head first into getting his people settled, but I’m more than certain that his self isolation, his guilt and his rage manifested long before anyone found him playing video games and shotgunning a can of beer. This is one of the changes I’m making for my Thor. Thor also DID NOT abandon his people so he could play video games. After killing Thanos, his goal was to help what remained of his people. He likely maintained some facade of normalcy when dealing with the things that such a task entailed, like interacting with other people and being King, but his suffering was already evident to those around him, (ie. Valkyrie and yes, probably even Bruce.) 

      Was he in the best mindset? No. Did he isolate himself and push people away? Yes. But at least at first, he did try and be a good leader. It got worse as time went on and eventually Valkyrie had to step in but he really did try his best. He probably turned to video games later when Korg was able to convince him to have some “human” contact. Where were his friends, in the movie? Everyone was dealing with the Snap in their own way, but even Bruce was off finding himself, living his best life while the man who was supposed to be his friend was losing himself in grief and alcohol and carbs.

      The idea that like he said “go away” and everyone was like OKAY BYE for five years doesn’t jive with me. For the most part I have it that at the very least, Bruce actively made the effort to spend time with Thor and his people in their new home. Could he fix Thor or necessarily stop his behaviour? No. But he wasn’t just gonna leave him. Same with Val. We don’t know how hard she tried to get through to him but I like to think she would have reached out to SOMEONE when Thor’s drinking got out of control and he started idk neglecting everyone and everything else. I’m not saying everyone should have dropped everything to be involved with Thor. I understand they had lives, and they had to keep living them, while dealing with their own feelings. But you’re telling me Natasha, head of the remaining Avengers, never checked in on Thor? Didn’t keep tabs on him? You’re telling me Steve Rogers never swung by? Never picked up the phone? I mean, Thor wasn’t exactly hiding off the grid, guys. The movie isolated Thor and made it seem like no one cared about him, but I don’t think that’s true.

      The rest of the movie basically plays out the way we see it. I also think Thor would have tried to warn his mother about what happened, but since it was implied that Freya already knew what was coming, it wouldn’t have helped. I just can’t see him seeing his dead mother for the first time since she died and not trying to do something to help. As for still being worthy, this was one of the only redeeming Thor related moments. Yes,Thor was fat. Yes, Thor was an alcoholic.Yes, Thor had failed to save Loki and Heimdall. Yes, he had been struggling for five years with the ptsd and the survivors guilt. But he was still worthy. Despite everything the writers of these movies took from him, Thor remained as worthy as he ever had been. At the end of the movie, when he hands rule over to Valkyrie, it is because while he found himself in The Dark World, and figured out who he wanted to be and what his place was, by the end of the Infinity War arc, Thor is lost again. He needs time to remember who he is, to heal. That’s what he’s going off to do. He’s not abandoning his people, YET AGAIN. 

      This rewrite is just to underscore that Thor is not a fucking joke. He suffered, and still does suffer, post Endgame. But he wasn’t some lazy slob who didn’t try, and his so called friends didn’t abandon him in his time of need.

[boredom-writing]

Gods and Monsters

Pairing: Loki x reader

Summary: The Avengers decide to take a mini-vacation in Egypt when Peter has to do a project on ancient Egyptian mythology. And you end up being their guide. (This isn’t really a summary, it’s more of a backstory but I stg it’s wayyyy more interesting than this.)

Warnings: Maybe language and it’s kinda creepy at times but that’s about it.

Word count: 1.1k

A/N: This is a rewrite of Gods and Monsters by @tarynkauai . I am rewriting this a a series and continuing the story(with their permission ofc) the plot is not mine so don’t get pressed at me.

As my heels clicked on the sandstone floors of the tomb, I took in the familiar sight of the hieroglyphs that lined the walls, telling long forgotten stories of ancient gods and old rivalries. I always loved these walls. They spoke secrets of the past that most unknowingly pass by.

I was on my way to a 2:00 tour of the Tomb of Queen Hatshepsut. And I was almost late. I put on my brightest smile as I entered the room, wanting to make a good impression. Usually I wouldn’t try so hard but my guests were important.

I was the tour guide for the Avengers. Why they chose to come here I had no idea, but here they were and Sekhmet curse me if I didn’t show them a good time.

“Welcome, everyone, to the Tomb of Queen Hatshepsut. The tomb is located in the Valley of the Kings right outside Luxor. My name is

Y/N and I will be your guide for todays tour. If anyone has any questions please don’t hesitate to ask.”

I could see them start to smile and look around in wonder as we began walking. “The tomb, like many others was unfortunately ransacked by grave robbers long, long ago.”

As the tour continued, I gave them the general facts and history of Queen Hatshepsut and her reign. We stopped in the inner tomb where her mummy would have been kept.

I let them walk around for a bit and explore the area because although Hatshepsut was no longer here, there was still much to see.

“What’s this over here about Sekhmet?” I heard someone ask. I turned around to find the Asgardian prince Loki standing behind me and gesturing to a bust of the goddess. “Ah yes Sekhmet.” I said with a smile. “An odd choice for Hatshepsut to revere but Hatshepsut’s reign was nothing if not extraordinary.” I turned to face the wall.

“They called her the warrior goddess, she was a rampaging deity and they say fields ran red with mortal blood when she was present. She was the mistress of dread, and evil itself would tremble before her. She was often referred to as the Lady of Slaughter and the fiercest of warriors.” 

“That is indeed an interesting choice of reverence for a queen.” Loki said with a small smirk on his face. I had never met him before however none of the stories I had heard told me how unbelievably handsome he was. Perhaps it was just the lighting but something about him seemed otherworldly. I suppose that did make sense, after all he is Asgardian.

“Yes it is.” I managed to say. “But there is more to her story than just that. When the more benevolent god, Ra, saw the chaos he ordered for her to stop. But she didn’t, and Ra and the other gods and goddesses joined together to defeat her power and locked her away into darkness for the rest of eternity.”

I said that last part with sadness. After all it was such a tragic end to such a powerful goddess. “But don’t you think what Ra did was right? After all she was the cause of mass destruction.” I turned back to Loki who seemed to be reading the hieroglyphs. That was strange.

“I do believe that Ra made the right decision but that is not what upsets me. No, what upsets me is the fact that no one is born with such evil. Something made her that way and I often wonder what it was. A betrayal? A general hatred that had been shown to her for her entire life? I also wonder if she ever had anyone to confide in or if she was all alone in this cruel world.” I sighed. “Ah well we will never know.”

“Perhaps we won’t.” Said Loki with a smile.

After the tour was over Tony came up to me and invited me out with the team. “We really enjoyed the tour, would you like to come out with us tonight and show us more of the culture here?”

“Sure my shift ends at 7:00 what time were you thinking of meeting up?”

“We’re heading out at 8:00. Meet us at your our hotel? We’re staying at the Nefertiti Hotel.” Smiling I said, “Sure, I’ll be there at eight!” Tony grinned and nodded then turned and walked back to the team.

I waved as they left, and turned to walk back into the ancient halls to make sure everything was still in place for what felt like the thousandth time today. I still had two more tours before my shift ended. Thursdays were always the busiest. I don’t know what it is about Thursday that screams “Come see the ancient tomb! Today and today only! Get here before Friday or you’ll never be able to do this again!”

Sometimes it could be exhausting. I usually worked at the museum in the city but for some reason I was the preferred tour guide for the Valley of the Kings.

If I hadn’t been so lost in my thoughts and if this hadn’t been the thousandth time I had done this, I might have noticed the eyes of Sekhmet’s bust following me as I walked through the inner tomb.

The last two tours of the day were uneventful, some sweet old people just looking to travel the world. They kind of reminded me of my grandma. She loved to travel, she’s the reason I’m in Luxor to begin with.

I used to live in New Mexico with my family but in college I took an offer to travel abroad in Luxor and life has only improved. I fell in love with the city and it’s rich culture and history.

As a small child ancient Egyptian culture and mythology had always interested me. Cleopatra used to be my favorite person to have ever lived, so when I got the opportunity to travel to Egypt I signed up in a heartbeat. My grandma is still alive and well, she visits me every winter after Christmas.

I was on edge as I was doing the final sweep of the tomb but the reason for that was soon revealed. When I got to the inner tomb the bust of Sekhmet appeared to have a red substance running from it’s eyes. Upon further inspection I discovered that substance to be blood. I ran out of the tomb, closed the door and never looked back.

Taglist is open!

Taglist:

@tarynkauai because hello it’s your original idea

[laniakeabooks]

2018 Wrap-Up

Hey guys! So, this is my first post on my first book blog – bear with me! I’ve posted my introduction so if you’d like to know more about me check it out!

Many of these statistics are taken from my Goodreads (https://www.goodreads.com/LaniakeaBooks) which I use to track my reading… as many others do.

I pledged 30 books for 2018 (I don’t have a lot of time to read which sucks) but managed to surpass that goal, and not going to lie, I am hella proud of myself!

Number of books read: 68

Number of pages read: 21080

Average rating: 3.1 stars

Books and ratings: All synopses are pull directly from Goodreads along with the page count. If you’d like a review from any of the books I’ve read in 2018, feel free to request it!

The Trickster’s Lover by Samantha McLeod - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Caroline Capello doesn't take chances.

A graduate student at the prestigious University of Chicago, Caroline dedicates her carefully-planned life to the serious, academic study of mythology.

Until a god shows up in her bedroom.

Loki, the enigmatic and irresistibly sexy Norse god of lies, appears late at night in Caroline's apartment, cuts her clothes down the middle, and rocks her studious world in ways she couldn't even imagine. The next morning, she's convinced it was a dream--until she sees her clothes on the floor, cut in two.

When Loki's appearances stop as suddenly as they began, concern for her lover forces Caroline to risk everything in an attempt to reach Val-Hall, the ancient home of Óðinn's army. Once there, she must put all she has learned to the test.

If she fails, there's far more than Loki's life at stake...

509 pages

 Hungry by H.A Swain - ⭐⭐⭐

 In the future, food is no longer necessary—until Thalia begins to feel something unfamiliar and uncomfortable. She’s hungry.

In Thalia’s world, there is no need for food—everyone takes medication (or “inocs”) to ward off hunger. It should mean there is no more famine, no more obesity, no more food-related illnesses, and no more war. At least that's what her parents, who work for the company that developed the inocs, say. But when Thalia meets a boy who is part of an underground movement to bring food back, she realizes that most people live a life much different from hers. Worse, Thalia is starting to feel hunger, and so is he—the inocs aren’t working. Together they set out to find the only thing that will quell their hunger: real food.

H. A. Swain delivers an adventure that is both epic and fast-paced. Get ready to be Hungry.

384 pages

 Shift by Em Bailey - ⭐⭐⭐

 Olive Corbett is not crazy. Not anymore.

She obediently takes her meds and stays under the radar at school. After “the incident,” Olive just wants to avoid any more trouble, so she knows the smartest thing is to stay clear of the new girl who is rumored to have quite the creepy past.

But there’s no avoiding Miranda Vaile. As mousy Miranda edges her way into the popular group, right up to the side of queen bee Katie – and pushes the others right out – only Olive seems to notice that something strange is going on. Something almost . . . parasitic. Either Olive is losing her grip on reality, or Miranda Vaile is stealing Katie’s life.

But who would ever believe crazy Olive, the girl who has a habit of letting her imagination run away with her? And what if Olive is the next target?

A chilling psychological thriller that tears through themes of identity, loss, and toxic friendship, Shift will leave readers guessing until the final pages.

320 pages

 The Body Finder by Kimberly Derting - ⭐⭐

 Violet Ambrose is grappling with two major issues: Jay Heaton and her morbid secret ability. While the sixteen-year-old is confused by her new feelings for her best friend since childhood, she is more disturbed by her "power" to sense dead bodies—or at least those that have been murdered. Since she was a little girl, she has felt the echoes that the dead leave behind in the world... and the imprints that attach to their killers.

Violet has never considered her strange talent to be a gift; it mostly just led her to find the dead birds her cat had tired of playing with. But now that a serial killer has begun terrorizing her small town, and the echoes of the local girls he's claimed haunt her daily, she realizes she might be the only person who can stop him.

Despite his fierce protectiveness over her, Jay reluctantly agrees to help Violet on her quest to find the murderer—and Violet is unnerved to find herself hoping that Jay's intentions are much more than friendly. But even as Violet is getting closer and closer to discovering a killer... she might become his next prey.

327 pages

 Hourglass by Myra McEntire - ⭐⭐

 One hour to rewrite the past…

For seventeen-year-old Emerson Cole, life is about seeing what isn't there: swooning Southern Belles; soldiers long forgotten; a haunting jazz trio that vanishes in an instant. Plagued by phantoms since her parents' death, she just wants the apparitions to stop so she can be normal. She's tried everything, but the visions keep coming back.

So when her well-meaning brother brings in a consultant from a secretive organization called the Hourglass, Emerson's willing to try one last cure. But meeting Michael Weaver may not only change her future, it may also change her past.

Who is this dark, mysterious, sympathetic guy, barely older than Emerson herself, who seems to believe every crazy word she says? Why does an electric charge seem to run through the room whenever he's around? And why is he so insistent that he needs her help to prevent a death that never should've happened?

390 pages

 The Program by Suzanne Young - ⭐

 Sloane knows better than to cry in front of anyone. With suicide now an international epidemic, one outburst could land her in The Program, the only proven course of treatment. Sloane’s parents have already lost one child; Sloane knows they’ll do anything to keep her alive. She also knows that everyone who’s been through The Program returns as a blank slate. Because their depression is gone—but so are their memories.

Under constant surveillance at home and at school, Sloane puts on a brave face and keeps her feelings buried as deep as she can. The only person Sloane can be herself with is James. He’s promised to keep them both safe and out of treatment, and Sloane knows their love is strong enough to withstand anything. But despite the promises they made to each other, it’s getting harder to hide the truth. They are both growing weaker. Depression is setting in.

And The Program is coming for them.

405 pages

Full Review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2340984030?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1

 The Pledge by Kimberly Derting - ⭐⭐⭐

 In the violent country of Ludania, the classes are strictly divided by the language they speak. The smallest transgression, like looking a member of a higher class in the eye while they are speaking their native tongue, results in immediate execution. Seventeen-year-old Charlaina has always been able to understand the languages of all classes, and she's spent her life trying to hide her secret. The only place she can really be free is the drug-fueled underground clubs where people go to shake off the oppressive rules of the world they live in. It's there that she meets a beautiful and mysterious boy named Max who speaks a language she's never heard before . . . and her secret is almost exposed.

Charlie is intensely attracted to Max, even though she can't be sure where his real loyalties lie. As the emergency drills give way to real crisis and the violence escalates, it becomes clear that Charlie is the key to something much bigger: her country's only chance for freedom from the terrible power of a deadly regime.

323 pages

 Sapphire Blue by Kerstin Gier - ⭐⭐⭐

 Gwen’s life has been a rollercoaster since she discovered she was the Ruby, the final member of the secret time-traveling Circle of Twelve. In between searching through history for the other time-travelers and asking for a bit of their blood (gross!), she’s been trying to figure out what all the mysteries and prophecies surrounding the Circle really mean.

At least Gwen has plenty of help. Her best friend Lesley follows every lead diligently on the Internet. James the ghost teaches Gwen how to fit in at an eighteenth century party. And Xemerius, the gargoyle demon who has been following Gwen since he caught her kissing Gideon in a church, offers advice on everything. Oh, yes. And of course there is Gideon, the Diamond. One minute he’s very warm indeed; the next he’s freezing cold. Gwen’s not sure what’s going on there, but she’s pretty much destined to find out.

354 pages

 This is Where it Ends by Marieke Nijkamp - ⭐⭐⭐

 10:00 a.m. The principal of Opportunity High School finishes her speech, welcoming the entire student body to a new semester and encouraging them to excel and achieve.

10:02 a.m. The students get up to leave the auditorium for their next class.

10:03 a.m. The auditorium doors won't open.

10:05 a.m. Someone starts shooting.

Told from four different perspectives over the span of fifty-four harrowing minutes, terror reigns as one student’s calculated revenge turns into the ultimate game of survival.

288 pages

 The Merciless II: The Exorcism of Sofie Flores by Danielle Vega - ⭐⭐⭐

 Sofia is still processing the horrific truth of what happened when she and three friends performed an exorcism that spiraled horribly out of control. Ever since that night, Sofia has been haunted by bloody and demonic visions. Her therapist says they’re all in her head, but to Sofia they feel chillingly real. She just wants to get out of town, start fresh someplace else . . . until her mother dies suddenly, and Sofia gets her wish.

Sofia is sent to St. Mary’s, a creepy Catholic boarding school in Mississippi. There, seemingly everyone is doing penance for something, most of all the mysterious Jude, for whom Sofia can’t help feeling an unshakeable attraction. But when Sofia and Jude confide in each other about their pasts, something flips in him. He becomes convinced that Sofia is possessed by the devil. . . . Is an exorcism the only way to save her eternal soul?

Readers won’t be able to look away from this terrifying read full of twists and turns that will leave them wondering, Is there evil in all of us?

320 pages

 The Merciless III: Origins of Evil by Danielle Vega - ⭐⭐⭐

 Brooklyn knows that there's no good without evil, no right without wrong. And when a helpless girl calls her teen helpline, whispering that someone is hurting her, Brooklyn knows that she needs to save her anonymous caller, even if it means doing something bad.

Her parents and friends assure her the call was probably a prank but Brooklyn has always had a tendency to take over, whether someone has asked for help or not.

She discovers the call came from Christ First Church and finds herself plunged into the cultish community of its youth group. She's especially drawn to Gavin, the angelic yet tortured pastor's son.

Torn between an unstoppable attraction to Gavin and her obsession with the truth, Brooklyn is forced to make a devastating choice to rid Christ Church of evil once and for all. . . . But the devil has plans for Brooklyn's soul.

304 pages

 Angel’s Blood by Nalini Singh - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

 Vampire hunter Elena Deveraux is hired by the dangerously beautiful Archangel Raphael. But this time, it’s not a wayward vamp she has to track. It’s an archangel gone bad.

The job will put Elena in the midst of a killing spree like no other—and pull her to the razor’s edge of passion. Even if the hunt doesn’t destroy her, succumbing to Raphael’s seductive touch just may. For when archangels play, mortals break.

339 pages

 Camp Follower: One Army Brat’s Story by Michele Sabad - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

 In this memoir, Michele Sabad takes us on one army brat’s journey with stories about a childhood in Calgary, Germany, Labrador, and Saskatchewan; becoming a young Air Force wife and Hockey Mom in Edmonton, Kingston, Winnipeg, and Cold Lake; building a career in Information Technology; and finally, settling in a new culture and life in Ottawa and Aylmer, Quebec. Michele’s story will interest, inspire, and enlighten both those who grew up in “the life” and those curious to peek at how this kind of life turned out. A base brat life, sure, but one unique in Canadian history—kids don’t grow up like this anymore—not even base kids. Fascinating insight; a slice of Canadiana.

196 pages

 Nemesis by Brendan Reichs - ⭐⭐⭐

 He killed me. He killed me not. He killed me.

It’s been happening since Min was eight. Every two years, on her birthday, a strange man finds her and murders her in cold blood. But hours later, she wakes up in a clearing just outside her tiny Idaho hometown—alone, unhurt, and with all evidence of the horrifying crime erased.

Across the valley, Noah just wants to be like everyone else. But he’s not. Nightmares of murder and death plague him, though he does his best to hide the signs. But when the world around him begins to spiral toward panic and destruction, Noah discovers that people have been lying to him his whole life. Everything changes in an eye blink.

For the planet has a bigger problem. The Anvil, an enormous asteroid threatening all life on Earth, leaves little room for two troubled teens. Yet on her sixteenth birthday, as she cowers in her bedroom, hoping not to die for the fifth time, Min has had enough. She vows to discover what is happening in Fire Lake and uncovers a lifetime of lies: a vast conspiracy involving the sixty-four students of her sophomore class, one that may be even more sinister than the murders.

443 pages

 Archangel’s Kiss by Nalini Singh - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

 Welcome to a dark new world where lethal, beautiful archangels hold sway over immortals and mortals both, with the Guild Hunters caught in between, tasked with retrieving those vampires who break their contracts with their angelic masters.

Elena Deveraux is a Guild Hunter. She was hired to do the impossible - to hunt down a rogue Archangel - and she suceeded where none had believed she could. But in the process, she fell in love. And not just with anyone: with the Archangel Raphael. It a love that's as powerful as it is terrifying and dangerous.

But the world won't stand still while Elena and Raphael enjoy their new-found love. Vampires and angels still go rogue and it's still Elena's job to hunt them down and return them to their angelic masters. While she is exceptional, Elena isn't invulnerable - and the more obvious her talents become, the bigger a target she becomes...

336 pages

 The Gender Game by Bella Forrest - ⭐⭐

 A toxic river divides nineteen-year-old Violet Bates's world by gender.

Women rule the East. Men rule the West.

Welcome to the lands of Matrus and Patrus...

Ever since the death of her mother, Violet's life has been shadowed by bad luck. Already a prisoner to her own nation, now after two unfortunate incidents resulting in womanslaughter, she has been sentenced to death.

But one decision could save her life.

One decision to enter the kingdom of Patrus, where men rule and women submit.

Everything about the patriarchy defies Violet's identity, but she must sacrifice everything if she wishes to survive the forbidden kingdom... including forbidden love.

How much of yourself could you give up to keep yourself alive?

418 pages

 The Girl Who Dared to Think by Bella Forrest - ⭐⭐

 The Tower's survival is humanity's survival, and each must serve it faithfully...

Twenty-year-old Liana Castell must be careful what she thinks. Her life is defined by the number on her wristband -- a rating out of ten awarded based on her usefulness and loyalty to the Tower, and monitored by a device in her skull. A device that reports forbidden thoughts.

Liana is currently a four, the lowest possible acceptable score, and despite her parents' perfect scores of ten, she struggles to increase it. Rebellious ideas come all too easily, and resentfulness seems part of her being. She is an overseer-in-training, but her future will be dark if she cannot raise her worth...

Threes require drug treatment.

Twos are isolated.

Ones disappear.

When Liana's worst nightmare comes to pass and she drops to a three, desperation spurs her down a path few dare to tread. A chance encounter with a cocky young man whose shockingly dissident attitude toward the Tower couldn't possibly have earned him the perfect "ten" on his wrist, sets her on a trail to save herself--even at the risk of dropping lower.

Stalking the young man seemed like a simple enough task, but after events take an unexpected twist, Liana finds herself taking a treacherous dive into the darkest depths of the Tower... and the decades' old secrets buried within.

In a society where free thinking can make you a criminal, one girl dares to try...

410 pages

 Banded by Logan Byrne - ⭐⭐

 In dystopian Manhattan, society is divided into six zones, with each one representing a citizen’s benefit to society: Stalwart (strength), Astute (intelligence), Collusive (greed), Radiant (beauty), Quixotic (no life direction), and the Altruistic (willingness to help others). On a citizen’s sixteenth birthday, a computer suggests a new zone for them based on their inherent benefit to society. When Kalenna Slater is sorted out of her home zone Quixotic and into Altruistic, she thinks things can’t get worse. Life looks dismal until she meets Gavin, a boy also just sorted into Altruistic who becomes the light needed on her cloudy days.

During sorting she receives a device known as ‘The Band’. It’s a large watch-like device that never comes off, and it measures a citizen’s karma on a scale from one to one hundred. If a citizen does good, they gain points. If a citizen does bad, including breaking laws, they lose points. When your number reaches zero, the band acts as judge, jury, and executioner, and you are injected with toxins that kill you within minutes.

After sorting, recruits are taken to a three month long mandatory school named HQ. It’s at HQ she meets new friends from different zones, and finally begins to feel at ease. Everything goes well until a rare trip home makes her discover that her father, who has been missing for a decade, may have taken part in a terrible program that stands to shake the fabric of society.

342 pages

 Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

 This morning, Kady thought breaking up with Ezra was the hardest thing she’d have to do. This afternoon, her planet was invaded.

The year is 2575, and two rival megacorporations are at war over a planet that’s little more than an ice-covered speck at the edge of the universe. Too bad nobody thought to warn the people living on it. With enemy fire raining down on them, Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to fight their way onto an evacuating fleet, with an enemy warship in hot pursuit.

But their problems are just getting started. A deadly plague has broken out and is mutating, with terrifying results; the fleet's AI, which should be protecting them, may actually be their enemy; and nobody in charge will say what’s really going on. As Kady hacks into a tangled web of data to find the truth, it's clear only one person can help her bring it all to light: the ex-boyfriend she swore she'd never speak to again.

BRIEFING NOTE: Told through a fascinating dossier of hacked documents—including emails, schematics, military files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more—Illuminae is the first book in a heart-stopping, high-octane trilogy about lives interrupted, the price of truth, and the courage of everyday heroes.

602 pages

 Archangel’s Consort by Nalini Singh - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Nalini Singh steps back into the shadows of her heartbreakingly original world where angels rule, vampires serve, and the innocent can pay the greatest price of all ...Vampire hunter Elena Deveraux and her lover, the lethally beautiful archangel Raphael, have returned home to New York only to face an uncompromising new evil ...A vampire has attacked a girls' school - the assault one of sheer, vicious madness - and it is only the first act. Rampant bloodlust takes vampire after vampire, threatening to make the streets run with blood. Then Raphael himself begins to show signs of an uncontrolled rage, as inexplicable storms darken the city skyline and the earth itself shudders. The omens are suddenly terrifyingly clear. An ancient and malevolent immortal is rising. The violent winds whisper her name: Caliane. She has returned to reclaim her son, Raphael. Only one thing stands in her way: Elena, the consort who must be destroyed ...

324 pages

 They All Fall Down by Roxanne St. Claire - ⭐⭐⭐

 Every year, the lives of ten junior girls at Vienna High are transformed.

All because of the list.

Kenzie Summerall can't imagine how she's been voted onto a list of the prettiest girls in school, but when she lands at number five, her average life becomes dazzling. Doors open to the best parties, new friends surround her, the cutest jock in school is after her.

This is the power of the list. If you're on it, your life changes.

If you're on it this year? Your life ends.

352 pages

 What’s Left of Me by Kat Zhang - ⭐⭐⭐

 I should not exist. But I do.

Eva and Addie started out the same way as everyone else—two souls woven together in one body, taking turns controlling their movements as they learned how to walk, how to sing, how to dance. But as they grew, so did the worried whispers. Why aren’t they settling? Why isn’t one of them fading? The doctors ran tests, the neighbors shied away, and their parents begged for more time. Finally Addie was pronounced healthy and Eva was declared gone. Except, she wasn’t . . .

For the past three years, Eva has clung to the remnants of her life. Only Addie knows she’s still there, trapped inside their body. Then one day, they discover there may be a way for Eva to move again. The risks are unimaginable-hybrids are considered a threat to society, so if they are caught, Addie and Eva will be locked away with the others. And yet . . . for a chance to smile, to twirl, to speak, Eva will do anything.

343 pages

 Remake by Ilima Todd - ⭐⭐

 Nine is the ninth female born in her batch of ten females and ten males. By design, her life in Freedom Province is without complications or consequences. However, such freedom comes with a price. The Prime Maker is determined to keep that price a secret from the new batches of citizens that are born, nurtured, and raised androgynously.

But Nine isn't like every other batcher. She harbors indecision

and worries about her upcoming Remake Day -- her seventeenth birthday, the age when batchers fly to the Remake facility and have the freedom to choose who and what they'll be.

When Nine discovers the truth about life outside of Freedom

Province, including the secret plan of the Prime Maker, she is

pulled between two worlds and two lives. Her decisions will test

her courage, her heart, and her beliefs. Who can she trust? Who does she love? And most importantly, who will she decide to be?

304 pages

 The Tale of Dueling Neurosurgeons by Same Kean - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

 Early studies of the functions of the human brain used a simple method: wait for misfortune to strike-strokes, seizures, infectious diseases, lobotomies, horrendous accidents-and see how the victim coped. In many cases survival was miraculous, and observers could only marvel at the transformations that took place afterward, altering victims' personalities. An injury to one section can leave a person unable to recognize loved ones; some brain trauma can even make you a pathological gambler, pedophile, or liar. But a few scientists realized that these injuries were an opportunity for studying brain function at its extremes. With lucid explanations and incisive wit, Sam Kean explains the brain's secret passageways while recounting forgotten stories of common people whose struggles, resiliency, and deep humanity made modern neuroscience possible.

416 pages

 The Compound by S.A Bodeen - ⭐⭐

 Eli and his family have lived in the underground Compound for six years. The world they knew is gone, and they've become accustomed to their new life. Accustomed, but not happy.

For Eli, no amount of luxury can stifle the dull routine of living in the same place, with only his two sisters, his father and mother, doing the same thing day after day after day.

As problems with their carefully planned existence threaten to destroy their sanctuary—and their sanity—Eli can't help but wonder if he'd rather take his chances outside.

Eli's father built the Compound to keep them safe. But are they safe—or sorry?

256 pages

 Enclave by Ann Aguire - ⭐⭐

 New York City has been decimated by war and plague, and most of civilization has migrated to underground enclaves, where life expectancy is no more than the early 20's. When Deuce turns 15, she takes on her role as a Huntress, and is paired with Fade, a teenage Hunter who lived Topside as a young boy. When she and Fade discover that the neighboring enclave has been decimated by the tunnel monsters--or Freaks--who seem to be growing more organized, the elders refuse to listen to warnings. And when Deuce and Fade are exiled from the enclave, the girl born in darkness must survive in daylight--guided by Fade's long-ago memories--in the ruins of a city whose population has dwindled to a few dangerous gangs.

Ann Aguirre's thrilling young adult novel is the story of two young people in an apocalyptic world--facing dangers, and feelings, unlike any they've ever known.

259 pages

 Slated by Teri Terry - ⭐⭐

 Kyla’s memory has been erased,

her personality wiped blank,

her memories lost for ever.

She’s been Slated.

The government claims she was a terrorist and that they are giving her a second chance - as long as she plays by their rules. But echoes of the past whisper in Kyla’s mind. Someone is lying to her, and nothing is as it seems. Who can she trust in her search for the truth?

439 pages

 Speak: The Graphic Novel by Laurie Halse Anderson, illustrated by Emily Carroll - ⭐⭐⭐

 "Speak up for yourself-we want to know what you have to say."

From the first moment of her freshman year at Merryweather High, Melinda knows this is a big fat lie, part of the nonsense of high school. She is friendless--an outcast--because she busted an end-of-summer party by calling the cops, so now nobody will talk to her, let alone listen to her. Through her work on an art project, she is finally able to face what really happened that night: She was raped by an upperclassman, a guy who still attends Merryweather and is still a threat to her.

374 pages

 Brave New World by Aldous Huxley - ⭐⭐⭐

 Brave New World is a dystopian novel written in 1931 by English author Aldous Huxley, and published in 1932. Largely set in a futuristic World State of genetically modified citizens and an intelligence-based social hierarchy, the novel anticipates huge scientific developments in reproductive technology, sleep-learning, psychological manipulation, and classical conditioning that are combined to make a utopian society that goes challenged only by a single outsider.

288 pages

 Code Orange by Caroline B. Cooney - ⭐⭐

 Walking around New York City was what Mitty Blake did best. He loved the city, and even after 9/11, he always felt safe. Mitty was a carefree guy: he didn't worry about terrorists or blackouts or grades or anything, which is why he was late getting started on his Advanced Bio report.

Mitty does feel a little pressure to hand something in if he doesn't, he'll be switched out of Advanced Bio, which would be unfortunate since Olivia's in Advanced Bio. So he considers it good luck when he finds some old medical books in his family's weekend house that focus on something he could write about.

But when he discovers an old envelope with two scabs in one of the books, the report is no longer about the grades: it's about life and death. His own.This edge-of-your-seat thriller will leave you breathless.

200 pages

 Falls the Shadow by Stefanie Gaither - ⭐⭐⭐

 When Cate Benson was a kid, her sister, Violet, died. Two hours after the funeral, Cate’s family picked up Violet’s replacement. Like nothing had happened. Because Cate’s parents are among those who decided to give their children a sort of immortality—by cloning them at birth—which means this new Violet has the same smile. The same perfect face. Thanks to advancements in mind-uploading technology, she even has all of the same memories as the girl she replaced.

She also might have murdered the most popular girl in school.

At least, that’s what the paparazzi and the anti-cloning protestors want everyone to think: that clones are violent, unpredictable monsters. Cate is used to hearing all that. She’s used to defending her sister, too. But Violet has vanished, and when Cate sets out to find her, she ends up in the line of fire instead. Because Cate is getting dangerously close to secrets that will rock the foundation of everything she thought was true.

In a thrilling debut, Stefanie Gaither takes readers on a nail-biting ride through a future that looks frighteningly similar to our own time and asks: how far are you willing to go to keep your family together?

352 pages

 The Accident Season by Moira Fowley-Doyle - ⭐⭐⭐

 Every October Cara and her family become inexplicably and unavoidably accident-prone. Some years it's bad, and some years it's just a lot of cuts and scrapes. This accident season--when Cara, her ex-stepbrother, Sam, and her best friend, Bea, are 17--is going to be a bad one. Cara is about to learn that not all the scars left by the accident season are physical: There's a long-hidden family secret underneath the bumps and bruises. This is the year Cara will finally fall desperately in love, when she'll start discovering the painful truth about the adults in her life, and when she'll uncover the dark origins of the accident season--whether she's ready or not.

320 pages

 Legend: The Graphic Novel by Marie Lu, illustrated by Kaari - ⭐⭐⭐

 Born into an elite family in one of the Republic's wealthiest districts, fifteen-year-old June is a military prodigy. Born into the slums of the Republic’s Lake Sector, fifteen-year-old Day is the country’s most wanted criminal. But his motives are not as sinister as they often seem. One day June’s brother is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect. Now, Day is in a race for his family’s survival, while June tries desperately to avenge her brother’s death. And the two uncover the truth of what has really brought them together and the lengths their country will go to in order to keep its secrets.

160 pages

 A Wrinkle in Time: The Graphic Novel by Madeleine L’Engle, illustrated by Hope Larson - ⭐⭐

 Late one night, three otherworldly creatures appear and sweep Meg Murry, her brother Charles Wallace, and their friend Calvin O'Keefe away on a mission to save Mr. Murry, who has gone missing while doing top-secret work for the government. They travel via tesseract — a wrinkle that transports one across space and time — to the planet Camazotz, where Mr. Murry is being held captive. There they discover a dark force that threatens not only Mr. Murry but the safety of the whole universe.

Never before illustrated, A Wrinkle in Time is now available in a spellbinding graphic novel adaptation. Hope Larson takes the classic story to a new level with her vividly imagined interpretations of Mrs Whatsit, Mrs Who, Mrs Which, the Happy Medium, Aunt Beast, and the many other characters that readers have loved for the past fifty years. Winner of the 1963 Newbery Medal, A Wrinkle in Time is the first book in Madeleine L'Engle's Time Quintet.

392 pages

 Archangel’s Blade by Nalini Singh - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

 The severed head marked by a distinctive tattoo on its cheek should have been a Guild case, but dark instincts honed over hundreds of years of life compel the vampire Dmitri to take control. There is something twisted about this death, something that whispers of centuries long past...but Dmitri's need to discover the truth is nothing to the vicious strength of his response to the hunter assigned to decipher the tattoo.

Savaged in a brutal attack that almost killed her, Honor is nowhere near ready to come face to face with the seductive vampire who is an archangel's right hand and who wears his cruelty as boldly as his lethal sensuality...the same vampire who has been her secret obsession since the day she was old enough to understand the inexplicable, violent emotions he aroused in her.

As desire turns into a dangerous compulsion that might destroy them both, it becomes clear the past will not stay buried. Something is hunting and it will not stop until it brings a blood-soaked nightmare to life once more...

310 pages

 The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender by Leslye Walton - ⭐⭐⭐

 Magical realism, lyrical prose, and the pain and passion of human love haunt this hypnotic generational saga.

Foolish love appears to be the Roux family birthright, an ominous forecast for its most recent progeny, Ava Lavender. Ava—in all other ways a normal girl—is born with the wings of a bird.

In a quest to understand her peculiar disposition and a growing desire to fit in with her peers, sixteen-year old Ava ventures into the wider world, ill-prepared for what she might discover and naïve to the twisted motives of others. Others like the pious Nathaniel Sorrows, who mistakes Ava for an angel and whose obsession with her grows until the night of the Summer Solstice celebration.

That night, the skies open up, rain and feathers fill the air, and Ava’s quest and her family’s saga build to a devastating crescendo.

First-time author Leslye Walton has constructed a layered and unforgettable mythology of what it means to be born with hearts that are tragically, exquisitely human.

301 pages

 Once We Were by Kat Zhang - ⭐⭐⭐

 "I'm lucky just to be alive."

Eva was never supposed to have survived this long. As the recessive soul, she should have faded away years ago. Instead, she lingers in the body she shares with her sister soul, Addie. When the government discovered the truth, they tried to “cure” the girls, but Eva and Addie escaped before the doctors could strip Eva’s soul away.

Now fugitives, Eva and Addie find shelter with a group of hybrids who run an underground resistance. Surrounded by others like them, the girls learn how to temporarily disappear to give each soul some much-needed privacy. Eva is thrilled at the chance to be alone with Ryan, the boy she’s falling for, but troubled by the growing chasm between her and Addie. Despite clashes over their shared body, both girls are eager to join the rebellion.

Yet as they are drawn deeper into the escalating violence, they start to wonder: How far are they willing to go to fight for hybrid freedom? Faced with uncertainty and incredible danger, their answers may tear them apart forever.

352 pages

 Obsidian by Jennifer L. Armentrout - ⭐⭐⭐

 Starting over sucks.

When we moved to West Virginia right before my senior year, I’d pretty much resigned myself to thick accents, dodgy internet access, and a whole lot of boring… until I spotted my hot neighbor, with his looming height and eerie green eyes. Things were looking up.

And then he opened his mouth.

Daemon is infuriating. Arrogant. Stab-worthy. We do not get along. At all. But when a stranger attacks me and Daemon literally freezes time with a wave of his hand, well, something… unexpected happens.

The hot alien living next door marks me.

You heard me. Alien. Turns out Daemon and his sister have a galaxy of enemies wanting to steal their abilities, and Daemon’s touch has me lit up like the Vegas Strip. The only way I’m getting out of this alive is by sticking close to Daemon until my alien mojo fades.

If I don’t kill him first, that is.

335 pages

 Demonglass by Rachel Hawkins - ⭐⭐⭐

 Sophie Mercer thought she was a witch. That was the whole reason she was sent to Hex Hall, a reform school for delinquent Prodigium (a.k.a. witches, shape-shifters, and faeries). But then she discovered the family secret, and the fact that her hot crush, Archer Cross, is an agent for The Eye, a group bent on wiping Prodigium off the face of the earth.

Turns out, Sophie's a demon, one of only two in the world-the other being her father. What's worse, she has powers that threaten the lives of everyone she loves. Which is precisely why Sophie decides she must go to London for the Removal, a dangerous procedure that will either destroy her powers for good-or kill her.

But once Sophie arrives, she makes a shocking discovery. Her new housemates? They're demons too. Meaning, someone is raising demons in secret, with creepy plans to use their powers, and probably not for good. Meanwhile, The Eye is set on hunting Sophie down, and they're using Archer to do it. But it's not like she has feelings for him anymore. Does she?

359 pages

 The Complete Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi - ⭐⭐

 Persepolis is the story of Satrapi's unforgettable childhood and coming of age within a large and loving family in Tehran during the Islamic Revolution; of the contradictions between private life and public life in a country plagued by political upheaval; of her high school years in Vienna facing the trials of adolescence far from her family; of her homecoming--both sweet and terrible; and, finally, of her self-imposed exile from her beloved homeland. It is the chronicle of a girlhood and adolescence at once outrageous and familiar, a young life entwined with the history of her country yet filled with the universal trials and joys of growing up.

Edgy, searingly observant, and candid, often heartbreaking but threaded throughout with raw humor and hard-earned wisdom--Persepolis is a stunning work from one of the most highly regarded, singularly talented graphic artists at work today.

341 pages

 The Wendy Project by Melissa Jane Osborne, illustrated by Veronica Fish - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

 16-year-old Wendy Davies crashes her car into a lake on a late summer night in New England with her two younger brothers in the backseat. When she wakes in the hospital, she is told that her youngest brother, Michael, is dead. Wendy — a once rational teenager – shocks her family by insisting that Michael is alive and in the custody of a mysterious flying boy. Placed in a new school, Wendy negotiates fantasy and reality as students and adults around her resemble characters from Neverland. Given a sketchbook by her therapist, Wendy starts to draw. But is The Wendy Project merely her safe space, or a portal between worlds?

96 pages

 Torn by Amanda Hocking - ⭐⭐⭐

 When Wendy Everly first discovers the truth about herself—that she’s a changeling switched at birth—she knows her life will never be the same. Now she’s about to learn that there’s more to the story...

She shares a closer connection to her Vittra rivals than she ever imagined—and they’ll stop at nothing to lure her to their side. With the threat of war looming, her only hope of saving the Trylle is to master her magical powers—and marry an equally powerful royal. But that means walking away from Finn, her handsome bodyguard who’s strictly off limits... and Loki, a Vittra prince with whom she shares a growing attraction.

Torn between her heart and her people, between love and duty, Wendy must decide her fate. If she makes the wrong choice, she could lose everything, and everybody, she’s ever wanted... in both worlds.

324 pages

 Ascend by Amanda Hocking - ⭐⭐⭐

 Wendy Everly is facing an impossible choice. The only way to save the Trylle from their deadliest enemy is by sacrificing herself.  If she doesn't surrender to the Vittra, her people will be thrust into a brutal war against an unbeatable foe.  But how can Wendy leave all her friends behind... even if it’s the only way to save them?

The stakes have never been higher, because her kingdom isn't the only thing she stands to lose. After falling for both Finn and Loki, she’s about to make the ultimate choice... who to love forever. One guy has finally proven to be the love of her life—and now all their lives might be coming to an end.

Everything has been leading to this moment.  The future of her entire world rests in her hands—if she’s ready to fight for it.

326 pages

 The Murder Complex by Lindsay Cummings - ⭐⭐

 Meadow Woodson, a fifteen-year-old girl who has been trained by her father to fight, to kill, and to survive in any situation, lives with her family on a houseboat in Florida. The state is controlled by The Murder Complex, an organization that tracks the population with precision.

The plot starts to thicken when Meadow meets Zephyr James, who is—although he doesn’t know it—one of the MC’s programmed assassins. Is their meeting a coincidence? Destiny? Or part of a terrifying strategy? And will Zephyr keep Meadow from discovering the haunting truth about her family?

398 pages

 Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

 Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children

No Solicitations

No Visitors

No Quests

Children have always disappeared under the right conditions; slipping through the shadows under a bed or at the back of a wardrobe, tumbling down rabbit holes and into old wells, and emerging somewhere... else.

But magical lands have little need for used-up miracle children.

Nancy tumbled once, but now she’s back. The things she’s experienced... they change a person. The children under Miss West’s care understand all too well. And each of them is seeking a way back to their own fantasy world.

But Nancy’s arrival marks a change at the Home. There’s a darkness just around each corner, and when tragedy strikes, it’s up to Nancy and her new-found schoolmates to get to the heart of the matter.

No matter the cost.

173 pages

 Red by Allison Cherry - ⭐⭐⭐

 Felicity St. John has it all: loyal best friends, a hot guy, and artistic talent. And she’s right on track to win the Miss Scarlet pageant. Her perfect life is possible because of just one thing: her long, wavy, coppery red hair.

Redheads hold all the power in Scarletville—and everybody knows it. That’s why Felicity is scared down to her roots when she receives an anonymous note: I know your secret.

Because Felicity is a big fake. Her hair color comes straight out of a bottle. And if anyone discovers the truth, she’ll be a social outcast faster than she can say strawberry blond.

Felicity isn’t about to let someone blackmail her life away. But just how far is she willing to go to protect her red cred?

336 pages

 Frostfire by Amanda Hocking - ⭐⭐⭐

 Bryn Aven is an outcast among the Kanin, the most powerful of the troll tribes.

Set apart by her heritage and her past, Bryn is a tracker who's determined to become a respected part of her world. She has just one goal: become a member of the elite King’s Guard to protect the royal family. She's not going to let anything stand in her way, not even a forbidden romance with her boss Ridley Dresden.

But all her plans for the future are put on hold when Konstantin– a fallen hero she once loved – begins kidnapping changelings. Bryn is sent in to help stop him, but will she lose her heart in the process?

321 pages

 Ice Kissed by Amanda Hocking - ⭐⭐⭐

 In the majestic halls of a crystal palace lies a secret that could destroy an entire kingdom…

Bryn Aven refuses to give up on her dream of serving the kingdom she loves. It’s a dream that brings her to a whole new realm…and the glittering palace of the Skojare.

The Skojare people need protection from the same brutal enemy that’s been threatening the Kanin, and Bryn is there to help. Being half Skojare herself, it’s also a chance for her to learn more about her lost heritage. Her boss, Ridley Dresden, is overseeing her mission, but as their undeniable attraction heats up, their relationship is about to reach a whole new level—one neither of them is prepared for.

As they delve deeper into the Skojare world, they begin to unravel a long-hidden secret. The dark truth about her own beloved Kanin kingdom is about to come to light, and it will change her place in it forever…and threaten everyone she loves.

309 pages

 Crystal Kingdom by Amanda Hocking - ⭐⭐⭐

 The kingdom she loves has turned against her. Can she save it before it’s too late?

Bryn Aven—unjustly charged with murder and treason—is on the run. The one person who can help is her greatest enemy, the gorgeous and enigmatic Konstantin Black. Konstantin is her only ally against those who have taken over her kingdom and threaten to destroy everything she holds dear. But can she trust him?

As Bryn fights to clear her name, the Kanin rulers’ darkest secrets are coming to light…and now the entire troll world is on the brink of war. Will it tear Bryn from Ridley Dresden, the only guy she’s ever loved? And can she join forces with Finn Holms and the Trylle kingdom? Nothing is as it seems, but one thing is certain: an epic battle is under way—and when it’s over, nothing will ever be the same…

432 pages

 High-Rise by J.G. Ballard, read by Tom Hiddleston - ⭐⭐⭐

 When a class war erupts inside a luxurious apartment block, modern elevators become violent battlegrounds, and cocktail parties degenerate into marauding attacks on "enemy" floors. In this visionary tale, human society slips into violent reverse as once-peaceful residents, driven by primal urges, re-create a world ruled by the laws of the jungle.

 Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds - ⭐⭐⭐

 1 hour, 43 minutes

An ode to Put the Damn Guns Down, this is New York Times bestseller Jason Reynolds’s fiercely stunning novel that takes place in sixty potent seconds—the time it takes a kid to decide whether or not he’s going to murder the guy who killed his brother.

A cannon. A strap.

A piece. A biscuit.

A burner. A heater.

A chopper. A gat.

A hammer

A tool

for RULE

Or, you can call it a gun. That’s what fifteen-year-old Will has shoved in the back waistband of his jeans. See, his brother Shawn was just murdered. And Will knows the rules. No crying. No snitching. Revenge. That’s where Will’s now heading, with that gun shoved in the back waistband of his jeans, the gun that was his brother’s gun. He gets on the elevator, seventh floor, stoked. He knows who he’s after. Or does he? As the elevator stops on the sixth floor, on comes Buck. Buck, Will finds out, is who gave Shawn the gun before Will took the gun. Buck tells Will to check that the gun is even loaded. And that’s when Will sees that one bullet is missing. And the only one who could have fired Shawn’s gun was Shawn. Huh. Will didn’t know that Shawn had ever actually USED his gun. Bigger huh. BUCK IS DEAD. But Buck’s in the elevator? Just as Will’s trying to think this through, the door to the next floor opens. A teenage girl gets on, waves away the smoke from Dead Buck’s cigarette. Will doesn’t know her, but she knew him. Knew. When they were eight. And stray bullets had cut through the playground, and Will had tried to cover her, but she was hit anyway, and so what she wants to know, on that fifth floor elevator stop, is, what if Will, Will with the gun shoved in the back waistband of his jeans, MISSES.

And so it goes, the whole long way down, as the elevator stops on each floor, and at each stop someone connected to his brother gets on to give Will a piece to a bigger story than the one he thinks he knows. A story that might never know an END…if WILL gets off that elevator.

306 pages

 The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

 It is freezing in the churchyard, even before the dead arrive.

Every year, Blue Sargent stands next to her clairvoyant mother as the soon-to-be dead walk past. Blue herself never sees them—not until this year, when a boy emerges from the dark and speaks directly to her.

His name is Gansey, and Blue soon discovers that he is a rich student at Aglionby, the local private school. Blue has a policy of staying away from Aglionby boys. Known as Raven Boys, they can only mean trouble.

But Blue is drawn to Gansey, in a way she can’t entirely explain. He has it all—family money, good looks, devoted friends—but he’s looking for much more than that. He is on a quest that has encompassed three other Raven Boys: Adam, the scholarship student who resents all the privilege around him; Ronan, the fierce soul who ranges from anger to despair; and Noah, the taciturn watcher of the four, who notices many things but says very little.

For as long as she can remember, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love to die. She never thought this would be a problem. But now, as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she’s not so sure anymore.

409 pages

 The Dogs of Christmas by W. Bruce Cameron - ⭐⭐⭐

 While nursing a broken heart, Josh Michaels is outraged when a neighbor abandons his very pregnant dog, Lucy, at Josh's Colorado home. But Josh can't resist Lucy's soulful brown eyes, and though he's never had a dog before, he's determined to do the best he can for Lucy—and her soon-to-arrive, bound-to-be-adorable puppies.

Soon in over his head, Josh calls the local animal shelter for help, and meets Kerri, a beautiful woman with a quick wit and a fierce love for animals. As Kerri teaches Josh how to care for Lucy's tiny puppies and gets them ready to be adopted through the shelter's "Dogs of Christmas" program, Josh surprises himself by falling for her.

But he's fallen even harder for his new furry family, which has brought incredible joy into Josh's life. He barely has time to sit down, between chasing after adventurous Sophie and brave Oliver, but when he does, his lap is quickly filled by the affectionate Lola. And Rufus and Cody's strong bond makes Josh wonder about his own relationships with his family.

With Christmas and the adoption date looming, Josh finds himself wondering if he can separate himself from his beloved puppies. At odds with Kerri, Josh isn't willing to lose her, but doesn't know how to set things right. Can a surprise litter of Christmas puppies really change one man's life?

233 pages

 Wink Poppy Midnight by April Genevive Tucholke - ⭐⭐⭐

 Every story needs a hero.

Every story needs a villain.

Every story needs a secret.

Wink is the odd, mysterious neighbor girl, wild red hair and freckles. Poppy is the blond bully and the beautiful, manipulative high school queen bee. Midnight is the sweet, uncertain boy caught between them. Wink. Poppy. Midnight. Two girls. One boy. Three voices that burst onto the page in short, sharp, bewitching chapters, and spiral swiftly and inexorably toward something terrible or tricky or tremendous.

What really happened?

Someone knows.

Someone is lying.

247 pages

 Enthralled: Paranormal Diversion by Melissa Marr, Kelley Armstrong - ⭐⭐⭐

 A journey may take hundreds of miles, or it may cover the distance between duty and desire.

Sixteen of today’s hottest writers of paranormal tales weave stories on a common theme of journeying. Authors such as Kelley Armstrong, Rachel Caine, and Melissa Marr return to the beloved worlds of their bestselling series, while others, like Claudia Gray, Kami Garcia, and Margaret Stohl, create new land-scapes and characters. But whether they’re writing about vampires, faeries, angels, or other magical beings, each author explores the strength and resilience of the human heart.

Suspenseful, funny, or romantic, the stories in Enthralled will leave you moved.

443 pages

 The 100 by Kass Morgan - ⭐⭐⭐

  No one has set foot on Earth in centuries -- until now.

Ever since a devastating nuclear war, humanity has lived on spaceships far above Earth's radioactive surface. Now, one hundred juvenile delinquents -- considered expendable by society -- are being sent on a dangerous mission: to recolonize the planet. It could be their second chance at life...or it could be a suicide mission.

CLARKE was arrested for treason, though she's haunted by the memory of what she really did. WELLS, the chancellor's son, came to Earth for the girl he loves -- but will she ever forgive him? Reckless BELLAMY fought his way onto the transport pod to protect his sister, the other half of the only pair of siblings in the universe. And GLASS managed to escape back onto the ship, only to find that life there is just as dangerous as she feared it would be on Earth.

Confronted with a savage land and haunted by secrets from their pasts, the hundred must fight to survive. They were never meant to be heroes, but they may be mankind's last hope.

323 pages

 Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

 Twin sisters Jack and Jill were seventeen when they found their way home and were packed off to Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children.

This is the story of what happened first…

Jacqueline was her mother’s perfect daughter—polite and quiet, always dressed as a princess. If her mother was sometimes a little strict, it’s because crafting the perfect daughter takes discipline.

Jillian was her father’s perfect daughter—adventurous, thrill-seeking, and a bit of a tom-boy. He really would have preferred a son, but you work with what you've got.

They were five when they learned that grown-ups can’t be trusted.

They were twelve when they walked down the impossible staircase and discovered that the pretense of love can never be enough to prepare you a life filled with magic in a land filled with mad scientists and death and choices.

187 pages

 Beneath the Sugar Sky by Seanan McGuire - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

 Sumi died years before her prophesied daughter Rini could be born. Rini was born anyway, and now she’s trying to bring her mother back from a world without magic.

174 pages

 How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff - ⭐⭐⭐

 Fifteen-year-old Daisy is sent from Manhattan to England to visit her aunt and cousins she's never met: three boys near her age, and their little sister. Her aunt goes away on business soon after Daisy arrives. The next day bombs go off as London is attacked and occupied by an unnamed enemy.

As power fails, and systems fail, the farm becomes more isolated. Despite the war, it's a kind of Eden, with no adults in charge and no rules, a place where Daisy's uncanny bond with her cousins grows into something rare and extraordinary. But the war is everywhere, and Daisy and her cousins must lead each other into a world that is unknown in the scariest, most elemental way.

194 pages

 Defy by Sara B. Larson - ⭐⭐⭐

 Alexa Hollen is a fighter. Forced to disguise herself as a boy and serve in the king's army, Alex uses her quick wit and fierce sword-fighting skills to earn a spot on the elite prince's guard. But when a powerful sorcerer sneaks into the palace in the dead of night, even Alex, who is virtually unbeatable, can't prevent him from abducting her, her fellow guard and friend Rylan, and Prince Damian, taking them through the treacherous wilds of the jungle and deep into enemy territory.

The longer Alex is held captive with both Rylan and the prince, the more she realizes that she is not the only one who has been keeping dangerous secrets. And suddenly, after her own secret is revealed, Alex finds herself confronted with two men vying for her heart: the safe and steady Rylan, who has always cared for her, and the dark, intriguing Damian. With hidden foes lurking around every corner, is Alex strong enough to save herself and the kingdom she's sworn to protect?

336 pages

 Fever Crumb by Philip Reeve - ⭐⭐⭐

 Fever Crumb is a girl who has been adopted and raised by Dr. Crumb, a member of the order of Engineers, where she serves as apprentice. In a time and place where women are not seen as reasonable creatures, Fever is an anomaly, the only female to serve in the order.

Soon though, she must say goodbye to Dr. Crumb - nearly the only person she's ever known - to assist archeologist Kit Solent on a top-secret project. As her work begins, Fever is plagued by memories that are not her own and Kit seems to have a particular interest in finding out what they are. Fever has also been singled out by city-dwellers who declare her part Scriven.

The Scriveners, not human, ruled the city some years ago but were hunted down and killed in a victorious uprising by the people. If there are any remaining Scriven, they are to be eliminated.

All Fever knows is what she's been told: that she is an orphan. Is Fever a Scriven? Whose memories does she hold? Is the mystery of Fever, adopted daughter of Dr. Crumb, the key to the secret that lies at the heart of London?

326 pages

 The Eleventh Plague by Jeff Hirsch - ⭐⭐⭐

 In the aftermath of a war, America’s landscape has been ravaged and two-thirds of the population left dead from a vicious strain of influenza. Fifteen-year-old Stephen Quinn and his family were among the few that survived and became salvagers, roaming the country in search of material to trade. But when Stephen’s grandfather dies and his father falls into a coma after an accident, Stephen finds his way to Settler’s Landing, a community that seems too good to be true. Then Stephen meets strong, defiant, mischievous Jenny, who refuses to accept things as they are. And when they play a prank that goes horribly wrong, chaos erupts, and they find themselves in the midst of a battle that will change Settler’s Landing--and their lives--forever.

278 pages

 Legacy by L.J. Swallow - ⭐⭐⭐

 Verity Jameson's day switches from mundane to disastrous when she runs down a stranger with her car. Fortunately for Vee, she can't kill Death.

Death, who just happens to be one of the Four Horsemen, and he's looking for her.

The Four Horsemen spend life preventing the end of the world, not bringing on an apocalypse. As gatekeepers of the portals which exist between the human world and other realms, the team fight to keep the portals closed and the supernatural forces under control. Without their fifth member, the Four Horsemen are losing the battle.

Now they've found Verity and what they tell her goes far beyond the conspiracy theories Vee spends her free time investigating.

A new life with four dark, sexy and dangerous men fighting demons, vampires and fae? Not what Vee had planned, but a hell of a lot more interesting than her boring job in tech support.

So what happens when the unbreakable bond of the Five takes control in a way none of them expected?

133 pages

 Bound by L.J. Swallow – ⭐⭐⭐

 Ewan's shock revelation sends Vee's life further into chaos, and she faces an uncertain future in a secret world she never knew existed.

Vee joins the Four Horsemen's hunt for those behind the plot to murder a fae queen, where she discovers society faces bigger dangers than she realised.

One night changes everything and increases Vee's determination to harness her power and step into her new role.

The Four Horsemen now have their missing link and will each do anything to protect and support her, but Vee's determined to show them she can be their equal.

The group are about to find out exactly how powerful Truth is

170 pages

 Hunted by L.J. Swallow – ⭐⭐⭐

 Who is Vee? Where did she come from? And what is the darkness the fae can see inside her?

Xander's reaction to these questions drives a bigger wedge between the fae and the Horsemen. His move isn't popular with the others because right now they need fae help more than ever.

A bloody message and a series of murders lead to a search for a threat from the past. Instead, the Horsemen encounter something new and dangerous. The race is on to find out what the creatures are and how big a threat they are to an already chaotic world.

Vee discovers using her powers has a strange effect on her relationship with the Horsemen. Although this pulls her closer to the guys, the conflict between Vee and Xander continues. But is the greatest conflict within himself?

And as the Five search for answers, someone watches. What does he know? Can he help? Or does he have an agenda of his own?

180 pages

 Guardians by L.J. Swallow –  ⭐⭐⭐

 Assassins, ancient magic, and the mysterious Collector bring new challenges to the Horsemen. Can the five find the answers they need before it's too late?

Three humans are dead, and the search is on for the surviving member from Vee's online group. If he's alive, Seth could hold the key to who's behind the attacks -- and why the group are targets.

Thanks to their broken alliance with the fae, the Four Horseman and Vee must turn to others for help and are pulled deeper into the supernatural underworld. The danger the world faces is greater than they imagined and someone is determined the Horsemen will fail.

The Four Horsemen will each do whatever it takes to protect Vee, but as Vee's relationship with the guys intensifies, so does her power. How powerful can she become and at what cost to the Four Horsemen's future?

171 pages

[be-a-snake-stab-your-brother]

So I've been trying to work out some character motivations for a story (not Infinity War-compliant). I have a lot of questions about some of the events leading up to, during, and after Ragnarok (which one day I will learn to spell correctly without needing to look it up.) This is more of a brain dump that an organized meta (and I’m sure all these topics have been talked about before), but just roll with me here, guys. I’m feeling effusive tonight. 

------------------------------------------------

So the destruction of Asgard (which Loki is technically the cause of yay callbacks to the original myths!) Everything that Loki thought he ever wanted and at the same time never, ever wanted. 

He wonders - would Thor - golden, wonderful, perfect Thor - would he have done the same if Loki had not been there? Loki discounts the idea that maybe Thor wouldn’t even have been able to summon Surtur due to the magic involved, and that everyone would have been screwed if Lokes had not arrived. Because Thor was not going to win without him. An interesting concept. We know Hela has conjuring magic and can use the flame. Can Thor? His magic is very different than Hela and Loki’s (and along those lines - who taught Hela her magic? Odin? The two goth siblings who don’t even technically share blood are like two sides of the same coin, it is fascinating.) 

Despite his heroics, Loki has no idea what Asgard is going to do with him after they escape the apocalypse. He keeps to himself on the ship, much to both Thor and Valkyrie’s annoyance, but what is he to do? He has exposed himself as a Jotun to the entirety of the realm with his theatrical productions, which was fine when they all thought he had died a heroic death but now…

Now that they know that he had usurped the throne and that Asgard had had the enemy - a Jotun - as ruler of their realm for years. What new horror would they accuse him of? What terrible schemes or plots would had he contrived with the remaining Frost Giants as he ruled (or any other enemy of Asgard)? Because there was no doubt in his mind that once the initial fervor passed - once what was left of the Asgardian populace worked past the trauma of Ragnarok (which would take some time, he had to admit to himself) - they would be looking for answers. and Loki has little faith that Thor’s word alone - no matter how much he was loved - would be enough to deter the people from having his head.

And what else? He’s back in New York (for the purposes of this story) - the scene of some of his worst crimes, crimes which no one knew the circumstances of - the way the Other had wormed into his mind, how he had been weak, had finally allowed that foul creature to touch him when he could take no more. They couldn’t have taken the refugee ship to any other realm, they had to go Midgard because of Thor. And this makes Loki upset because it’s like nothing has changed since the day of Thor’s coronation. Of course, so much has, he hasn’t. He is still trying to win the approval of his brother, acceding to his whims, despite all the dangers that lie ahead for him

The Avengers would want their retribution. Would Thor really see him locked away again? Was he now so like Odin that he would look on, with cold distance in his remaining eye, and see his only family member sequestered in some basement dungeon? (Perhaps he would. After all, Thor blamed him for Odin’s death - Loki blamed himself for Odin’s death, and no matter how many times he had desired it, nothing had prepared him for the moment his not-father had turned into a glittering shower of gold and risen to Valhalla.)

Let’s go a bit further back, though. He’s also terrified that Thor is going to leave him for real this time. He was going to on Sakaar, and this probably plays into why Loki so easily agrees to travel to Midgard. He doesn’t want to lose his brother, no matter how much he denies it and that moment in the elevator - when Thor had…had actually - he hadn’t even rejected him, he had met Loki with apathy. It was almost as terrible as that moment Odin had said, “No…” - when he had let go, had fallen from the Bifrost. Antipathy he could deal with - hate meant he mattered. But if he no longer mattered to Thor…Loki didn’t know what he would do.

He had fallen through the Bifrost again. I mean, that must have been a little bit of a PTSD moment for Lokes. He was probably so relieved he wasn’t back on Sanctuary when he landed that a few weeks of alcohol (and...what’s going on with the Grandmaster? Make your own assumptions.) was like nothing. And what did he have to live for at that point? A crazy sister with insane powers, Thor dead, and even if he wasn’t, their last conversation had his brother blaming Loki for Odin’s death, and that would have turned into a slugfest/bloodbath had Hela not distracted the both of them. That time on Sakaar before Thor’s arrival must have been...highly uncomfortable and unpleasant for Loki.

Had Loki planned, like, at all for Thor’s return to Asgard while he was Odin? He was very much caught off-guard at the beginning of Ragnarok which leads me to believe that he probably got a bit too comfortable, thinking he could do this forever - avoid Thanos, be the king, and run away from EVERYTHING. Think about it - as Odin, there was no need to confront anything in his past (or if he did, he was able to do it on his terms, aka, “the play”) I mean, I’m sure deep down he knew there was an expiration date on the whole charade but wouldn’t it have been nice for just a moment to believe that he could put the entirety of the past few years behind him? Pretend that Loki died with honor, with the love of his father, of Asgard, his brother and rewrite his terrible history. To rewrite the past (just like in Agent of Asgard). But just like in AoA, he learns he can’t change the past, he can only write the future. and I don’t think he’s ready for that yet until the end of Ragnarok, and even then, he’s unsteady about it. He knows how to be old Loki - he doesn’t know how to be new Loki. 

And then there’s the whole little matter of the Tesseract that he’s holding in his dimensional pocket. WHY DID HE TAKE IT? I mean Lokes, really? Probably a combination of things. Not being sure if it would actually be destroyed by Sutur (I mean, it’s Ragnaork, so it *should* be but bizarrely powerful ancient relics and all…). Maybe he also can’t help himself - he’s a damned addict. He probably also wants insurance of actually escaping Surtur’s wrath- I mean, Thor did make a pretty damn large assumption that Loki would be able to summon Surtur and escape and I mean, did he have no idea what it meant to summon the fire demon from hell with the Eternal Flame? And maybe this is because Thor defeats Surtur at the beginning of the movie, but this is different, they are not trying to defeat him, they (Loki) is *releasing* him and that’s kind of…dangerous? Thor obviously has a ton of faith in his brother but from Loki’s (warped) perspective, I could see him taking this in a very different manner.

So he has the Tesseract and Loki knows Thanos can track it. He just knows it in his blood - in his seidr. And he wants to run. Run as far as he can, it doesn’t even matter where - but he also knows that as far as he runs, it will never be enough (remember what the Other said). And he figures (because Loki is an opportunist if there ever was one), that if he’s going to have to face Thanos, he might as well be around “Earth’s Mightiest Warriors” because he is NOT going back, Asgard is dead, and no other realm has the wherewithal to withstand Thanos and his brood (BECAUSE ODIN AND HELA FUCKING CONQUERED THEM HOW LONG AGO?)

And think about this. Loki knows there’s no way he can defeat Thanos alone. And that means he needs other people. Other people who can betray him, just like his father did, just like everyone else had on Asgard. Need means expressing weakness, and expressing weakness makes you vulnerable and that is when Loki gets hurt. Probably the last thing in all the realms Loki wants to deal with, especially after causing Odin’s death (he knows Thor is right, but would never admit it) and starting the whole chain of events that lead to the destruction of his home. His second home. Loki probably has a very complicated relationship with the word “home.” (And I think for him, “Home is not a place, it’s a people.” Home is people to him, and the only home he has right now, or perhaps has ever had to a degree, is Thor. Valkyrie might make it on that list eventually. That is, if they stop trying to kill each other in increasingly dramatic ways.) 

Oh Lokes, you complicated, beautiful god of mischief. 

[idolisme]

I wrote a thing for Thor: Ragnarok and have no patience to make it into a Proper Thing, so instead of posting it in its inchoate form to the more respectable fanfic sites I am, for the first time, putting fic on tumblr.  And it’s Christmas fic, no less.  have I truly fallen so far???????

anyway.

AU where just after the midcredits scene of Ragnarok, Loki explains to Thor who they’re dealing with and why, and Thor has the brilliant idea that he might be able to defeat Thanos with his lightning and the Tesseract and the element of surprise, so he convinces Loki to switch their appearances, to fool Thanos long enough for Thor-as-Loki to get close, then blast him with Space-Stone-infused lightning.

It goes as well as can be expected.

And after…

They fight the whole battle against Thanos without Thor, because Thor has been killed - everyone believes it, because Heimdall witnessed him disappearing into a hole in space when he was so damaged there is no way he could have survived the void and its maelstroms and monsters.  He makes his report to Val and Loki while Loki is still pretending to be Thor, and the battle is soon so the truth has to come out anyway, so Loki just goes to the Avengers as himself to tell them what has become of his brother.  He swears on Thor’s sacrifice that he will fight to protect Midgard and Asgard, and that’s enough for Steve, which means it’s enough for the rest of them.  Bruce is, to Loki’s surprise, a comforting presence at his side — he had come to care for Thor, and as a healer, feels his best way to work through his own grief is to help Loki through his.  (Loki feels like this should piss him off, that he should find this insulting… he is actually grieving too much to care.)

So they fight, and they win, and Loki becomes an Avenger though he is also still King of Asgard.  Val and Heimdall also fight, and both survive.  Midgard and Asgard are well defended, and things go rather quiet on the Avenging front for a while.

And then….. it’s Christmas.  Loki, having finished building a school in Asgard (to keep their history alive — and corrected, after Odin’s rewrites), has gotten bored of kingship but is unwilling to stray far from Midgard, so he finds himself frequently in Avengers Tower, watching Bruce and Tony play with Midgardian tech, occasionally giving them fresh ideas — some of which, yes, are intentionally bad.  It makes him grin to see them get knocked off their feet.  His good ideas and advice, though, are well worth the danger to the science bros, and maybe Bruce has talked to Tony about the stages of grief and how Loki is doing remarkably well for someone who has lost the only people they cared about, not long after losing their entire planet, and having to be the guide and role model for the rest of his people as they process their own grief… and Tony really doesn’t mind the occasional explosion in his lab anyway.  (There’s probably at least one instance where an idea Tony and Bruce have backfires badly enough that they could die, but since Loki is there half-attentively observing, he uses his magic to get them out of the room because he notices the problem before they do, and then they’re super grateful.  Thereafter they’re pals, as much as anyone can be pals with Loki.)

So, Loki hangs around Avengers Tower to avoid people and to play pranks on his new friends.  Heimdall rules Asgard in his stead, as Regent, and its people are cool with it.  But then it’s Christmas, and all the Avengers are going to get together in the Tower for a few days before the holiday.  Tony, as the party planner, carefully doesn’t tell Loki this is happening because he kinda wants him to be there at least for a little while, to give the others the opportunity to tell him that they want good things to happen to him in the new year, and to give him a gift, if they feel so inclined.  Well, he and Bruce have felt so inclined, and they want everyone to see that the crazy alien who took a bite out of New York some years back is actually a cool guy now that he isn’t under the influence of an evil monster.

And then Heimdall, eyes sparkling, pulls Tony and the other Avengers — not Loki — aside, and tells them the news.  Thor is alive.

He has just come out of a portal from the void, somewhere far away, and is rapidly making his way to Midgard.  He and Heimdall have spoken, and Thor is a little weird and he’s missing a hand as well as his eye, but he’s pretty much himself, and he is delighting himself with the idea that he might surprise Loki with his alive state.  And he wants to do it in person.  So please don’t tell Loki, okay?

So Thor gets to Midgard and he comes to the Tower, and he knocks on the door, and Tony says, super casually, “Hey Lokester, d’you mind getting that?”

Loki, uncomfortable in a red reindeer knit sweater but drinking some Midgardian wine and chatting amiably enough with Clint’s wife ((((Laura???)))) about Asgardian bread, rolls his eyes, throws off the reindeer antlers that keep reappearing on his head (put there by the children?? Tony?? there have been many guilty parties.  He’s pretty sure Strange is in on it too, which is why he never catches the culprit), and goes to the door.

He’s a little bemused to notice that all the sound has gone out of the room behind him as he opens the door.

“Loki,” Thor says, smiling.  It sounds like he has a cold.

Loki can’t really move at all.  His ribs feel like stone — cold, shatter-prone.  His scar hurts.

They continue to stare at each other, and Thor’s smile fades.  “Do… Do you not recognize me?”

“Oi, let him in, idiot-king,” Val says, knocking Loki’s shoulder on her way past him to thump Thor’s arm with her fist and then crash into his chest with a hug.

Loki watches them without seeing anything, frozen in a tilt from how he’d caught himself from falling after her shove.

Thor’s eyes only briefly leave his to glance down at Val as she draws away from him.  “He’s done superbly in your absence,” she informs him in a stage whisper.

“Is he all right?” Thor replies in kind, his brow furrowed.  His eyes suddenly grow wide, and he holds out his hands placatingly.  “Brother, if I have angered you—”

“Shut up, you piece of filth,” Loki says, striding over to him and tugging Val behind him.  His seidr wraps around them both and forms a barrier in the doorway.  The sweater is gone, replaced by his armor.  “Who the Hel do you think you are?” he says, grasping the impostor’s collar and pulling him forward to sneer in his face.  “Do you have any idea what sort of people you’re trying to fool?”  He laughs mockingly.

“I’m not—”

“That is actually your brother, Your Majesty,” Val says from behind him with a note of warning in her voice.  “Calm down.”

He looks at her over his shoulder at her.  “My brother,” he says, his voice rough only in patches, as he strives to maintain his vitriol, “is dead.”  His gaze on her softens, however, and he follows with, “I swear to you, I will figure out how this magic works, and break the spell upon you.”

Val looks at Thor and rolls her eyes.

“Brother, I don’t want to hurt you,” Thor says desperately.  “But let me go, and I will explain all.”

In the next instant, Loki yelps as his seidr barrier in the doorway is broken from within by a long sword.

“Your Majesty!” Heimdall calls to him, and he cranes his neck to look at him, his hands still on the impostor’s shirt collar.  Odd that no danger proximity alarms have gone off in the Tower, and that he cannot sense any deceptive magic in or on the being before him.  Save for the faint smell of ozone, and of leather, and of something else that was how Thor had always—

Heimdall says, “Let him go, Loki.  He is your brother.  I saw him leave the void yesterday, and make his way here.  He asked me not to tell you, as a… joke.”  The disapproval in Heimdall’s voice could not be mistaken.

“Which was stupid of me, I see now,” says the impostor, and Loki whips his head back to see that stupid, familiar grin.  “I am truly sorry.”

Loki stares.  “How are you tricking him,” he mumbles to himself.  “Tricking Heimdall to see someone who isn’t there is impossible.  Or very nearly.”

“Consider that I am tricking no one, dear brother, and it should make sense.”  He places his hands over Loki’s at his collar and slowly pries them off.

Loki’s seidr trickles away as his shock increases, and his armor abandons him — he is left again with the too-large, reindeer-themed sweater.  He glances over his shoulder once more to meet Heimdall’s eyes, which are clear.  There are still no alarms or signs of foul play.  Tony and Bruce are smirking into their beer.  Steve and Sam smile openly, and turn away to go back into the Tower, to — what, give him some privacy to greet his brother?  His brother.  Thor is alive, Thor has come home…

He grits his teeth and says, “I loathe you,” to Thor before taking a single long step forward and hugging the life out of him.  He wraps his arms over Thor’s so he can’t lift them and locks his hands together against Thor’s back, then squeezes.  Thor coughs.

“Norns, let me g- huhhh, let me go!” Thor says, twisting.  “Let me hug you properly, Your Majesty,” he teases.

Loki releases him and wipes furiously at his tears.  “I don’t want any of your stupid h—”

Thor crushes him to him, hands on his back, and presses their cheeks together.  It’s mortifying, but it also feels really good.  Like every earnest hug he’d ever received from Thor or Frigga, wrapped up in one.  He can’t stop crying.  He desperately hopes everyone else has taken Steve’s lead as usual, and gone back inside.

“I’m sorry.  I’m so, so, so very sorry.  I’m here.  I’m home now.”

The antlers have made their way back onto Loki’s head (Strange must be involved somehow), and he petulantly tears them off and jams them onto Thor’s.

“Merry fucking Christmas,” he tells him, and at Thor’s bewildered look he begins to laugh.