#Live lucky-g banker

[mycryptosuite]

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[choccos-aaart]

Astra vs the Polymorph #1 - A glimpse into the lives of class B-5!

DESCRIPTION: The crew's just chilling.

CHARACTERS: All of class B-5, polymorph

KEY WORDS: Comedy, survival "horror"

EXT. OUTER SPACE

A pod appears floating around in space. As it rotates, the pod reveals a hole on its surface, torn open by force.

SFX: Beep, beep…

NARRATOR: Danger. Do not attempt to open this pod. The creature inside is extremely hostile. It feeds off the human psyche, seeks out the deranged, the unbalanced and the emotionally crippled.

SFX:  Beep, beep…

INT. DINING ROOM.

Aries, Quitterie, and Yun-Hua play a game of cards. They are playing Lucky 9, gambling with a collection of shiny pebbles and rocks they found on a previous planet. Aries, with the most pebbles, is the banker. Funicia spectates.

ARIES: Who wants another card?

QUITTERIE: No thanks. My cards are too good for this dang game. I'm gonna beat all of you.

YUN-HUA: Hey-! Isn't it us against Aries...?

QUITTERIE: Oh right, yeah. Whoops.

ARIES: Hm. Quitterie, if you wanna be the banker next round, I'll let you.

QUITTERIE: That's what I've been saying this whole time! 

ARIES: Really?

QUITTERIE: OMG, yeah duh! How'd you not hear me?

ARIES: I mean, all your yapping sounds the same to me, tee-hee!

QUITTERIE: (Gasp!) O-M-G! You're so gonna pay for that!

ARIES: Alright! How about a deal? If the two of you beat me this round, you get to be banker.

YUN-HUA: 'Kay

QUITTERIE: What! That is so unfair!

ARIES: Ok! How about you Funi? Join us!

FUNICIA: Ok!

QUITTERIE: Um, let's not teach gambling to a fourth-grader.

ARIES: Aww, it's not like we're playing with real money so it's totally fine!

QUITTERIE: Alright, fine! But I'll add to the deal. (Smirks) If Funi beats all of us, I get to be the banker!

ARIES: (With mild sarcasm, except with her usual enthusiasm) Oh, you're not just getting Funi involved for your own gain, are you?

QUITTERIE: Alright, then Funi and I get to be bankers. How's that?!

ARIES: (Cheerfully) It's a deal! But we have to restart the round because Funi's with us now.

QUITTERIE: NOOO! 

INT. KITCHEN

Luca sits on a kitchen counter while Ulgar, gun in hand, stands in front of him. Luca seems enthusiastic. In the background, Kanata does his cleaning duties.

ULGAR: Lesson one.

LUCA: Man, oh man, this is so exciting! 

ULGAR: Shut up.

Ulgar holds out his hands as if he's about to clap.

ULGAR: Now hold your hands like that.

Luca holds up his hands.

ULGAR: Now clap.

Luca smiles doubtingly. He claps.

ULGAR: Faster.

Luca claps again, faster.

ULGAR: Now as fast as you can.

Luca hesitates then claps again with extra strength. But, before his hands could meet, Ulgar pulls his gun between them. Luca exclaims with astonishment.

ULGAR: Now you try.

Ulgar puts out his hands and starts clapping at random intervals. Luca stares confusedly.

LUCA: Hey what the hell! I don't know when you go!

Ulgar smirks.

ULGAR: That's just real life.

LUCA: C'mon man, I thought I asked you to teach me to shoot, not play red hands or something.

ULGAR: This is... serious. It's reflexes.

LUCA: Damn, you didn't even have this whole thing planned. Boo!

ULGAR: Reflexes are important!

LUCA: Yeah, whatever! ...Unless, this is just some excuse to spend some nice recreational time with your best friend. That's oddly sweet of you, Ulgar!

Ulgar's face turns slightly red.

ULGAR: Shut up! I'm teaching you to shoot.

LUCA: Then teach me to shoot, man! Where d'you get these lesson ideas from?

Ulgar doesn't say anything.

LUCA: ... So? 

ULGAR: ...Ugh. Forget it.

Kanata looks back from wiping the stovetop.

KANATA: No way! Ulgar, you're referencing a cowboy movie!

ULGAR: Shut up.

KANATA: Oh dude! I got some cool old westerns stored in a drive somewhere. We totally gotta watch them sometime!

ULGAR: Shut up!

LUCA: (To Kanata) Yeah, get back to cleaning!

KANATA: BRO! You guys are supposed to be helping us, too! You got time to lean, you got time to clean - now let's go boys!

He continues wiping the counter.

ULGAR: Hmph.

LUCA: "Us"? I thought you were doing everything yourself.

KANATA: Damn it, where's Charce?! Mr Perfect pretty-boy better not be checking out his reflection or somethin'

Charce carries a pile of dishes over to the sink.

CHARCE: What?

KANATA: Oh good! Thanks so much for the help!

INT. DINING ROOM

Aries, Qitterie, Yun-hua and Funicia continue playing Lucky 9.

ARIES: Uh-oh you guys~ My cards are looking kinda good!

QUITTERIE: I got crap cards... Gimme another card please!

YUN-HUA: Ohh... I would like another card too, please.

Aries tosses Yun-Hua and Quitterie a card each. Quitterie squints in disappointment. So does Yun-Hua.

FUNICIA: I'm happy with mine!

QUITTERIE: Are you sure you know what you're doing?

FUNICIA: Yup! I've seen you guys play so I'm sure I know enough

ARIES: Ok! Three, two, one, REVEAL!

Everyone tosses her cards on the table. Quitterie and Yun-Hua more shamefully than the rest.

QUITTERIE: Seven.

YUN-HUA: Ten...

ARIES: Six!

QUITTERIE: Hold on, did you say six? WHAAAAT!!!

ARIES: HA-AH-AH-Ah-AH-AH-AH-AH!!!

Quitterie shakes Yun-hua's shoulder with defeat and desparation.

QUITTERIE: GIIIRRRLLL! We cou'dve beaten Aries if you didn't ask for that other card!

YUN-HUA: Oh, I'm sorry! She just looked so confident, I wasn't so sure if I should've gambled or not...

ARIES: This is a bluffing game, silly! 

YUN-HUA: Aw...

QUITTERIE: Funi! How about you?

FUNICIA: Mine add up to twelve.

We see Quitterie on the floor, defeated. She sighs massively.

QUITTERIE: ...Yun-Hua, this is all your fault, so as a consequense, you gotta tell us a secret!

YUN-HUA: U-uh...

Quitterie sits up.

QUITTERIE: I'll make it easier for you! How about... Tell us something totally embarrassing you did when you were 13.

YUN-HUA: Oh gosh...

Aries, Quitterie, and even Funicia smile at Yun-Hua eagerly.

YUN-HUA: Oh… Ok…! Um…

She pauses for a moment. Suddenly…

YUN-HUA: Oh, I need to go to the bathroom…!

ARIES: Aww, what?

QUITTERIE: Nice excuse, girl! C’mon, let us hear it!

YUN-HUA: No, I’m serious! 

QUITTERIE: You’re trying to avoid answering, aren’t you?

YUN-HUA: I promise, I’m not trying to avoid anything! I’ll be right back.

ARIES: Really?

YUN-HIA: No, really!

QUITTERIE: Okay~

YUN-HUA: Besides…! I can’t think of anything right now, but maybe when I come back I’ll give you something good. Really! Okay?

QUITTERIE: Hah… Whatever you say. We’ll be waiting!

INT. CORIDOOR.

Zack, walks down the hallway. He notices Kanata. Over to Kanata, we see him dust off his pants.

KANATA: Whew! That was fun! (pause) Huh? Hey Zack!

ZACK: Kanata, I need to talk to you in private.

KANATA: ‘K!

INT. ZACK'S ROOM

Zack leads Kanata inside.

KANATA: So! Wussup?

ZACK: There appears to be a non-human life form aboard this ship.

KANATA: What?

ZACK: Our ship has been invaded by an alien.

KANATA: I know that but… What does it mean?

ZACK: I don’t know. However, it could be hostile so we must be alert.

KANATA: Alright! I’ll keep my eyes peeled from now on!

ZACK: Good. And so will I!

KANATA: We gotta let the others know. At a good time. When d’you think?

ZACK: Hm… Let’s see… In ten minutes from now, it should be-

A quiet, tense conversation can be heard from another room alerts Kanata and Zack.

??? (from another room): So you didn’t know I even came on this trip?

YUN-HUA (from another room): I’m s-sorry! I didn’t mean–

??? : Enough. I don’t want to hear another measly excuse from you.

KANATA: What n’ the… Someone’s talking down Yun-Hua…!

ZACK: But who?

YUN-HUA: (To ???) Oh… I’m really sorry!

KANATA: He doesn’t sound like anyone here. How…?

ZACK: I don’t know… Unless…

???: (to Yun-Hua) Stop apologising. Is this really how guilty you feel?

YUN-HUA: Y-yes…

ZACK: That is the alien…!

???: (To Yun-Hua) Just how guilty do you feel?

KANATA: Then we have to hurry! Let’s go!

YUN-HUA: (To ???) Awfully, awfully guilty…!

Kanata and Zack run in the direction of Yun-Hua’s voice.

???: (To Yun-Hua) INDEED, YOU DO!

Cut to: Kanata and Zack arrive at the scene. Yun Hua lies unconscious on the floor. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

[anneimaginesundertale]

Wild West AU

Welcome to Littleton, a tiny little town on the frontier. Our biggest draw here is all the skeletons! We've got skeletons out the wazoo, and they're all too handsome for their own good! Come on along, stranger, and I'll introduce ya!

Sans and Papyrus -- they run a local cattle ranch. Well, Papyrus runs it. Sans mostly hangs around at Grillby's. Everybody knows Pap can't get him to do a lick of work around the place. Lazy bones! Papyrus is a real fine fella, though. He's got a way with his animals, and he's real friendly. He'd love to help out the sheriff, but we only need one deputy in town.

Blue and Stretch - Blue is our beloved school teacher! Mister Blue is a real gentleman, and he loves all the kids in town. He can ride real well, even if he is from back east, and there's rumors that he's a crack shot with a pistol, but ain't nobody ever seen him even touch a gun! His brother is still a working cowboy and he tends to come and go with the cattle drives. He's got a real way with words when he is around. Everybody loves to hear him spin a tale.

Red and Boss - These two drifted into town a while back. Red works in the local mine and Boss is the new deputy. Boss takes his job real serious, but there are rumors that they used to be bandits before they came here, and that the real reason Red is a miner is because he's looking for a spot to hide their big score.

Black and Rus - Black is the local sheriff. Rus was his deputy, but somethin' happened with some outlaws on the edge of town and now Rus mostly just does odd jobs around town. His brother's real protective of him.

Sansy and Sweets - No one knows much about these two loners. They live up the mountain all on their own. They come down every few months to buy and sell things, and they always have a good harvest in the fall, but no one knows what all they do up there. Must get mighty lonely...Sweets is always the one to come down and deal things. Sansy sometimes comes with him to help lift stuff, but he's awful quiet...

Bones and Lucky - Bones runs the general store and his brother is the local banker. They're two of the richest men in town. Lucky plays piano down at the casino some nights.

Smiley and Grim - They own the town casino. Grillby's might be the best place in town to go and get a drink, but if you want to play poker for more than dog treats, you go to the casino. Some people were real upset when these two came into town, but it seems a bit of money crossed the right palms and Smiley turned on that charm of his, and now nobody pays 'em no mind.

G and Aster - G is another one who doesn't seem to actually do anything around here! He's always in Grillby's, crackin' jokes and drinkin' and playin' poker with the dogs, but when anybody asks him what his job is, he don't answer! His brother is the local doctor and he takes real good care of everybody.

Comet and Captain - Our local blacksmiths! They're also inventors (so they say) but nobody knows what they're inventing. We just hear loud bangs and clangs from their workshop...Comet's also got the nicest garden in town. We keep askin' for his secret but he just gets all embarrassed and won't tell.

Break and Tango - They run the stagecoach! They've got all kinds of stories about their travels around the territory, and Tango sure knows how to dance! There's always a party when they come back into town. Break is a shy fella, but if you believe his brother's stories, he's the one who does most of the defendin' when the coach gets in trouble! Another one who's said to be a real good shot, though we ain't seen him do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was so fun to come up with!! I actually got all of this done in August, in one sitting, in one glorious rush of inspiration! I hope you like it as much as I do. Feel free to send questions!

[fiveisnumber1]

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 3850

Warnings: Mild Violence

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23

_________________________

Pt 8 - Birthday Cash (part 1)

Sunlight shined through your curtains as the sounds of the city outside you started to wake you. Slowly you sat up and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. When your eyes came into focus you took a look at the calendar you hung beside your bed. The date of it read October 1st, 2002. Today was your birthday. Shooting up from your bed you ran down the stairs of your home into the living room. Standing there were your two parents.

"Happy birthday!" Your parents exclaim

You looked around the room to see balloons and decorations everywhere. Every year, your parents went all out for your birthday. To both of them, your existence was a miracle and they wanted to show how grateful they were to have you. Even when you were small and they knew you wouldn't remember what they had done for your birthday they still went all out. You were their little princess and all they wanted to do was make your day the best it could be. As you looked around the room you saw decorations from wall to wall. There were streamers and balloons as far as the eye could see. You made your way over to your parents who both gave you a big hug. 

"Alright sweetie you sit tight right here and your father and I will be right back!"

Taking a seat on your living room couch you sit and wait for your parents. When they come back into the room you see your mom carrying a cake and your father carrying a box. Your mom places the cake on the living room table and takes a seat to your left side while your dad sits to your right. The two of them sing happy birthday to you and when you have your wish in mind you blow the candles out in one go.

"What did you wish for?" Your dad asks you

"Honey, you know wishes don't come true if you talk about them." Your mom says

"Oh fine, I won't pry." your dad responds "Anyway I've got one of many gifts for you right here. Do you want to open it?"

"Of course!" You reply excitedly

Your dad places the box in your lap and you gently undo the ribbon tied around it. Opening the box you remove the tissue paper and see the gift inside.

"No way! It's exactly what I wanted!" You exclaim

Inside the box was a replica of the diary for The Princess Diaries. The movie came out a little over a year ago and since then you were obsessed. You wanted the diary from that movie specifically because you loved how it needed a locket that fit it perfectly to open it up. 

"Well, you had been talking about the journal ever since you saw the movie. It took a while but we had it custom made for you. It's practically an exact replica except we had it so yours could fit more pages." Your mom explains

"Do you like it?" Your dad asks

"I LOVE IT!" You reply "But where is the locket?"

"Lift up the diary." You mom says

When you lifted the book up you saw not one but two lockets. 

"Why are there two?" You ask

"Well, we wanted to make sure that if you lost the first one you could have a second one handy." Your dad responds

"Keep the second one in a safe place." Your mom says

"I will!" You reply

You knew exactly where you were going to keep the second locket but for now, you spent some time with your family eating cake for breakfast and taking in all the time that your parents had spent to make your day special. When the three of you finished your cake your dad states,

"Your mom and I have one more surprise for you but we need to go to the bank to get it. Go get ready so we can head out." 

Excitedly you run upstairs and get ready. When you finish you eagerly wait for your parents downstairs. Once all of you have everything you need to go, you head out the door and off to the Capital West Bank.

__________________________

Today was October 1st, 2002 but in the Hargreeves household, this day was just like any other. Reginald Hargreeves cared little for birthdays or the acknowledgment that his children were another year older. Like for past birthdays, he merely congratulated them on not passing yet and went on with his day. Unlike Reginald, Grace was much more sympathetic and caring towards the kids and tried to make sure that they all felt special on their birthday. When the children came down from their rooms for breakfast she made sure that each one of them got their favorite thing to eat. She also wished each individual child Happy Birthday as she handed them their plates. This was the routine that occurred every October 1st since they could remember, but this year it would be a little different because the kids knew that later today they would get to celebrate with you. While they kept quiet when their father was at the table, the minute he left the chattering of excitement amongst the six siblings was unstoppable. Each one of them presented their ideas for what they wanted to do for a fun birthday. Diego suggested,

"We should play pin the tail on the donkey but instead it's balloons and we have to pop them with knives!"

"Diego, you would win that one automatically." Allison comments

"And? I want to be a winner on my birthday." He replies with a wide grin

"Well, I want to have a dance party for our birthday!" Allison says

"Oooh, I can get on board with that." Klaus comments

"I want to duet playing happy birthday with (Y/N)." Vanya comments

"And I think it would be fun if we just sit around and talk," Ben says

"Maybe if we're lucky she'll bring over presents and we'll actually get stuff this year!" Luther adds

"What do you want to do for our birthday, Five?" Vanya asks turning the attention to him

"I bet he wants to kiss (Y/N)." Diego interjects making kissy faces at Five "Mwah mwah mwah oh (Y/N) I love you so much!"

"Shut up." Five says looking away from his siblings, heat rising to his face

"You're not denying it." Luther teases

Luther and Diego start to tease their brother more and Klaus starts to sing,

"Five and (Y/N) sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Fi-"

"Ugh! Leave me alone!" Five says grabbing his breakfast and getting up from the table

Five then flashes away to his room. His siblings were so annoying no matter what day it was. Ever since he had accidentally told them about a month ago that he loved you, they relentlessly teased him about it. Well, Diego, Luther, and Klaus did with Allison chiming in here and there. Ben and Vanya were more so supportive and stayed out of his business, which he appreciated. Nevertheless, it was difficult to deal with their incessant teasing. Yes, he loved you and yes, he's thought about kissing you but he couldn't find the courage to go through with it. You were his best friend, his only friend and he didn't want to lose you because he felt a certain way and you didn't. It was a risk he just wasn't willing to take because he couldn't be sure how you felt for him. Five sat down on his bed and angrily munched on his birthday breakfast hoping that soon enough something would happen to make the day more exciting.

__________________________

When you and your family arrived at the Capital West Bank you took a look around. It was very nice looking with high ceilings and a balcony upstairs that worked its way around the main room. Your father approached the counter and you followed. You ignored the conversation your father and the clerk were having and continued to look around. You saw many different people in the bank, some standing around, some going and then some coming in. As you watched a group of men walk in the door you grew suspicious. In your gut, you felt something shifty about them. Cautiously you watched them out of your peripheral to see what they were up to but to not be obvious about it. A bank teller then steps out from behind the counter and walks you over to a set of stairs directing you and your family up them. Bringing you to a back room the teller uses a key to unlock the door. In the room, you see wall to wall safes. Each one looking just as heavily secured as the next. Your father takes a step towards one of them and entered a passcode. When the safe opens in there is an exact replica of Princess Mia's tiara. Your father gently grabs it from the safe and places it on your head.

"A perfect princess tiara for our perfect birthday princess." Your mom comments

As you relish in the sweet moment with your parents you all hear some commotion from downstairs. Your family and the teller head out of the room and watch from the upstairs balcony as chaos breaks loose downstairs. You can hear the screams of other people in the main lobby as the men who you had a bad feeling about pull out some guns and start threatening people. The banker pulls you and your family back into the back room. Quickly your dad takes the tiara off your head and puts it back in the safe before closing it swiftly. The banker that brought you upstairs calls 911 and details the situation going on, but before he can finish talking to the 911 operator a couple of members of the who were in charge of this robbery shoot him. The criminals, uncaring of what they had just done to an innocent life proceeded to make their way over to you and your parents. Your parents get in front of you to put space between you and the criminals but it is useless because they end up forcing you three down on the ground and put duct tape around your wrists. As you're on the ground you give your mother a pleading look but she shakes her head no. You knew that you could use your powers to get you and your family out of this but your mom didn't want you to in fear of people taking you to do experiments. You let out a sigh as the robbers sit the three of you up. One of them sends the others outside to guard the room before turning to your father to interrogate him.

"Now tell me where this tiara is." The criminal commands

This is not how you expected your birthday to go.

__________________________

For the Hargreeves kids, their birthday was going the same as always, which is to say not much excitement was going on. They all separated and started to do their own things but their activities were interrupted when Reginald yelled,

"Children come down to the parlor immediately!" 

All the children made their way down to the parlor as quickly as they could. Standing in an orderly line from 1 to 7 the children look to their father to hear what he has to say.

"You have been training to use your powers for years and now you have been presented the opportunity to go and demonstrate them to the world. The Capital West Bank is under siege by a group of robbers and the patrons inside have been taken as hostages. There has been a standoff with police for about two and a half hours at this point and I intend for you children to finish it. Get out of your pajamas and get in your uniforms, we leave in 10 minutes sharp."

The children run off to their rooms and rush to get ready for their first-ever mission. This was not quite the excitement they were looking for but nonetheless, it was better than nothing. Within 10 minutes' time, all the children were ready to go. Quickly, they made it to the bank. The six children with powers devised a plan to get inside while Vanya stayed with Mr. Hargreeves looking at the scene from afar. All the kids minus Luther make their way into the bank through side entrances trying to not get caught. As nonchalantly as possible Allison walked towards the main part of the bank. As she did so she saw one of the criminals talking on a walkie talkie.

"Hey get them behind the counter," He said to some other robbers using his gun to gesture "Now you've put me in a position where I gotta do something I don't wanna do. SHIT!"

She approaches the man and stands their innocently.

"Hey get back with the others!" The man commands to Allison

"I heard a rumor... Allison replies

"What? What did you say?" The man asks

Allison then leans in towards the man and repeats herself. Putting a hand up to her mouth she says,

"I heard a rumor that you shot your friend in the foot."

Under the command of Allison's power, the man turns to his accomplice and aims the gun at him.

"Hey dude, what the hell?" the other man asks

The man under Allison's power then shoots his friend in the foot before shooting again. The other man falls to the ground and accidentally shoots off rounds from his automatic weapon. The hostages of the bank scream in fear. A crash then comes from the ceiling as a bunch of glass rains down into the bank. Along with the glass is Luther who jumps down into the bank, grabs one of the criminals banging his head against the counter before throwing him out of one of the high windows. Within seconds Diego runs in brandishing his weapons of choice,

"Guns are for sissies, real men throw knives!" He exclaims throwing his knives and redirecting them towards one of the gunmen 

The knives manage to hit the gunman in the shoulder and his heart. After the one gunman got hit by Diego's knives, the man standing next to Allison came out of his trance and ran away from her towards the counter. As the kids and robbers continue to fight chaos continues to ensue throughout the whole building.

__________________________

You and your parents had been in the backroom upstairs for what felt like hours at this point. The man who stood before you kept yelling at your father to tell him where the safe that had your tiara was. Somehow your dad had avoided the question thus far but the criminal was becoming inpatient. The robber was about to speak again when the sound of gunshots rang out from downstairs.

"We're gonna have to move this along. If you're not going to tell me straight up then I'm just going to have to force it out of you!" The robber yells

The robber then grabs you and holds the gun in his hand against your head.

"You should let go of me before something happens." You comment calmly

"Aw, what are you gonna do? Cry?" The man mocks

"You asked for it." You reply

In one swift motion, you phase backward through the man and kick him towards a desk that was in the room. As he falls over it you grab the letter opener and stab the man in the back with it hitting his heart. Undoing your parents' bindings you tell them,

"Stay here."

"But-" Your mom interjects

"STAY HERE" you command them

Within a second's time, you had phased through the door and into the middle of the upstairs hallway. Making yourself visible you use your powers to manifest the tiara in your hand and hold it up.

"Hey!" you yell grabbing the attention of the armed robbers "Looking for this?"

The angry men start to chase you but you turn invisible.

"Where'd she go?" One of them asks

One of the men walks down the hall to see if he can find you. Once the men are on two opposite side of the hall you reappear and taunt,

"If you want this crown you'll have to kill me for it."

The two men turn their guns on you and start to rapidly fire but you use your powers to make them go through you harmlessly and the two men end up killing each other. After you confirm they were incapacitated you hear a voice yell,

"Get back you freaks!"

Looking down from the balcony you see a man standing on top of the bank counter surrounded by Allison, Diego, and Klaus in their academy uniforms. You wonder when they got here but continue watching. the man points his gun at each of them he demands,

"Hey be careful up there buddy," Klaus comments

"Yeah, wouldn't want you to get hurt" Allison chimes

"Get back now!" The criminal demands

Five flashes behind the man so he is sitting criss-cross on the counter.

"Or what?" He asks with a cocky smile

The man turns his attention and gun to Five and starts shooting but Five had flashed away before any bullets could hit him. Flashing behind the man once more he crosses his arms, a serious look on his face. The man on the counter turns to him and starts clicking a stapler at him. Five looks down at the stapler before sarcastically commenting,

"That's one badass stapler."

Immediately after though Five forcefully pushes the man's hand. The stapler hits hard causing a gash in his head and the man to fall off the counter. Your jaw drops and your heart starts to race a little. 

"Damn," you whisper to yourself

Something about him kicking that guys ass was really attractive to you. Forgetting that you were in the middle of fighting one of the robbers grabs you and takes the tiara out of your hand. You phase out of his arms and say,

"Either the crown goes down on the group or you go up in the air."

"You're not getting this back." The man states

"Alright, don't say I didn't warn you."

And with that you make it so this man's molecules are extremely light and hang him upside down in the air over the lobby of the bank. Freaking out he throws the tiara over the balcony and it lands by your feet. Not part of your plan but you are satisfied nonetheless. You continue to leave the man hanging as you watch your friends downstairs. Outside the vault five of the six children stand in a semi-circle around Ben.

"Do I really have to do this?" Ben asks

"C'mon Ben there are more of them in the vault," Luther says

"I didn't sign up for this," Ben says in a resigned tone

Ben enters the vault and begins to take out the men in their one by one. From across the room the man you were holding yells,

"Put me down!"

The five children left outside the vault switch their attention and see a man dangling upside down in the air. Looking slightly above him they can see you standing on the balcony above.

"I said put me down you crazy bitch!" 

"You got it." You reply with a smirk before making the man's molecules extremely dense

The man rapidly falls down towards the floor of the lobby and impales himself on a flagpole. Five looks up at you an admiring smile on his face and awe in his eyes (even if they were hidden behind a mask). He had never seen someone so beautifully kebob a man. 

"Wow." Five said to himself

The hostages in the bank start to run out of the building screaming. You transport yourself downstairs to the middle of the lobby and watch the bloodbath occur behind the translucent glass of the vault. When it stops you see Ben slowly step out from behind the door and he can be heard saying,

"Can we go home now?"

You see the children walk around the counter to make their way over to you. Even behind their masks, you could see the excitement in their faces especially that of Five. The children approach you but as they do you can see one of the men still alive get up and quickly make their way over to your group. Raising their gun up, they point it in their direction. He could've aimed at any one of you but he pointed his gun at Five. Quickly reacting you yell,

"Five watch out!"

You then transport your molecules so that you are between Five and the gunman. The gunman pulls his trigger but you push his arm up so that the shot hits the ceiling. You wrap your hand around his neck and look him in the eyes. Adrenaline rushing through your veins all you could think about was how this man almost killed the boy you loved. You were about to say something when,

*BANG*

Your entire top part of your body was covered in red. The body of the man falls backward and you see that all that was left was the shoulders down. You blink a couple of times coming to the realization of what you just did. Slowly turning to the group of kids Diego exclaims,

"HOLY SHIT (Y/N), YOU BLEW HIS HEAD OFF! THAT'S SO COOL.”

"Uh, thanks." you comment before gesturing to yourself and adding "Hey Ben, looks like we're twins now.”

You see a smile appear on the face of the boy who didn't want to be here in the first place. He didn't say anything but it brought him comfort to know you were in the same boat as him. You watch as Five opens his mouth to say something but before he can you hear someone screaming your name from above you. Turning around you see your parents. You wave to them from the lobby floor.

"Hi, mom! Hi dad!" You say as if nothing was wrong

You and the Hargreeves kids all watch as your parents rush down the stairs to get to you. When your mom gets to you she crouches down looking all over you for injuries.

"Oh my god (Y/N) are you okay? You're all covered in blood!" She cries

"Don't worry mom, it's not my blood!" You say with a positive attitude

Your mom wails in distress at the sight of her baby covered in someone else's blood.

"Honey, I don't think that was the right answer." You dad comments putting a hand on your mom's shoulder

"Oh uh, well then it is-" You start to say

"No don't finish that sentence, that's not it either." Your dad adds

Your dad helps your distressed mom off the floor and places a hand on your back escorting you all to the door. As the three of you walk he says,

"You know what. We're gonna go home and you're gonna get all that blood off you and then your mom and I are going to lay down for the rest of the day while you do whatever makes you happy for your birthday.”

The six children watch as you make your way out the door with your parents but before you exit you turn to smile at them knowing that you would see them later. As soon as you leave the kids rush out to the front steps so that the public can acknowledge them for the first time. This was the most exciting birthday they had had so far but they all knew it would only get better once you came over to celebrate later.

Tag list: @xplrreylo @joebob15274 @insatiable-ivy @fruitsaladtree @angelpeachamber @academy-umbrella @lizziel1410 @ir3neeee @faith-quake @aliens-with-colas @eddiomyspaghettio @lady-celeste25 @im-dead-and-hurting @nerdypinupcrystal @cherry-ki-d @anapocalypseinmymind

[thefuriousstarlightstudent]

Amnesia!Damian Fic Sequel

So I finally got the third part up in my series about a Damian with Amnesia. Here’s a clip and a link to it below, as well as a link to the rest of the series! Enjoy!

Trini wasn't exactly oblivious to the danger of living in Gotham City. To the dangers of even visiting Gotham City. Going to college in Gotham City? That was pretty much asking for a run in with some villain. She was lucky to have not experienced anything like that though.

Well, until today, she amended. Because of course today was the day that some two-bit villain decided to rob her bank.

He wasn't that impressive, honestly. He was wiry, with greasy hair and a desperate look about him. Oh, and he also had a weird looking gun. Something she definitely wouldn't want to be hit with. It'd probably kill her.

The man was pacing back and forth, waving his gun violently in the air.

"Now, g-get me the m-m-money," he stuttered nervously, watching the banker who was doing just that. "I n-need f-f-four-th-thousand dollars."

She didn't think the man was evil so much as desperate. Unfortunately, desperate people could and would do desperate things. Case in point; robbing a bank. His nerves weren't helping matters either.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16127966

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1108380

[moonbeambucky]

The Guardian (Part 2)

Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader (Demon AU) Word Count: 2698 Warnings: **Suicide**, Violence, Torture, Body horror (I guess like medical experimentation & stuff), mentions of animal abuse ***The suicide is heavily implied so if anyone is uncomfortable by this topic but you want to know what’s happening in the chapter msg me and I can give you a trigger free run down!

Summary: Someone has been watching over you throughout your life. His intentions are bad, that is until you remind him of his past. Can you save the soul of a demon?

A/N: I hope this doesn't suck. If you like it let me know! :) Gif not mine, source (x)

PART 1 | THE GUARDIAN MASTERLIST

If his heart could still skip a beat it certainly would have. You had unlocked the door in his mind that had been shut for so long. The memories overwhelmed him, bits and pieces of a puzzle scattered on the floor waiting to be put together. He started slowly with his name. Bucky. He repeated it over and over again, furrowing his brows together with frustration.

“There’s more. Bucky… urgh!” he huffed, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes. He sounded out different letters until he thought he found the right one.

“G-George. No, James. James... Barnes. George was my father,” he said slowly connecting the pieces.

He pictured a man, with striking blue eyes and dark brown hair that peeked out from under a flat-topped straw hat. His cream buttoned down shirt was tucked into brown trousers, cuffed at the bottom to display his oxford shoes. Bucky smiled remembering his father, caring and selfless, who would always give up his last dollar to anyone that needed it. He was a hard working man who loved his wife Winifred. “Winnie, darling!” he would say, coming through the front door of their humble home.

George worked long hours as a banker but during the weekends he was a true family man. He took James and his younger sister Rebecca to the park. He watched James play baseball with some local boys, smiling at the nickname they gave his son as they eagerly called Bucky up to bat. Rebecca rode a merry-go-round, waving to her father each time her wooden horse passed the bench he sat on. He loved his family with all of heart. The accident that took his life was tragic, and Bucky never felt worthy enough to fill the large void left in its wake.

His country needed him during the war, there was no question but Bucky hated the idea of leaving his mother and sister. He wrote to them when he could during training and was lucky enough to receive their letters when he was overseas.

He slid down the wall, unseen by the humans that casually pass him by, as the horrors of the war replayed in his mind. Then he remembered the explosion on the cliffside and his biggest regret, living. He fell, hitting the snow covered ground with a huge thud. Every bone was surely broken, he groaned in agony and yet he felt numb. Hot tears stung his eyes as thought about his mom and Rebecca. He didn’t want to leave them, he was the man of the house, he needed to protect them. But there was nothing he could do except shut his eyes and wait for death to take him.

A blurred figure came towards him, calling out his name. A fellow soldier? No, it was an older man with a wrinkled face and dusty blond hair. “Bucky.” His smooth voice kept him from slipping out of consciousness. “Bucky, I’m here to help you.”

The man introduced himself as Alexander, Bucky’s spiritual guardian. “My wh-what?” Bucky’s weak voice murmured.

Alexander offered to save him, heal him enough to go home so he can see his family as long as he promised to work with him as a guardian when the time comes. Confused and close to death Bucky accepted the man’s offer as his eyes shut.

Bucky woke up, groaning as his body bounced with every step the men who were carrying him on a stretcher took. “You’re lucky to be alive, soldier!” he heard a voice say before slipping unconscious again.

Sometime later he opened his eyes, recognizing he was in the medical tent of the barracks. He groaned feeling a terrible ache throughout his body, which was expected after his tremendous fall, except he felt different. His eyes widened with horror seeing the absence of his left arm. A medic heard the commotion and rushed over to him, explaining that his arm was lost from the explosion. He looked down to see a small stump wrapped in gauze, just a few inches remained of his once strong arm. His injury would be sending him home though as soon as the papers were processed.

Bucky reflected on his thoughts, vaguely remembering the man, his guardian, who promised him a chance to see his family again. He didn’t realize the cost, nevertheless he was happy, he served his country honorably and he was headed home with a smile on his face.

Winifred sobbed mixed tears of joy and sadness as her son walked through the door. She was prepared for his injury but it didn’t take away the pain she felt for her boy.

“Son!” she cried, sobbing into his chest. Bucky wrapped his right arm around her back, “Ma! It’s okay. I’m okay,” he said hoping his words would alleviate her woes.

Winifred took him into the kitchen, having prepared a casserole, after a long time away she needed to make sure her son was well fed again. Bucky missed her cooking, even with the restrictions from food rationing, she was always able to turn anything into a delicious filling meal.

She sat beside Bucky tending to his every need, refilling his glass before it was half empty, wiping food from the corner of his mouth. Bucky held his tongue, just because he lost an arm didn’t mean he couldn’t take care of himself, but he let his mother take care of him; she almost lost her son after all.

Rebecca came home a few hours later looking unrecognizable from the last time Bucky saw her. Her hair usually styled with intricate curls was covered in a dusty headscarf, her dress was traded for faded blue coveralls. She had taken up work in a local factory, like most of the women in the country who took over the jobs of the men who left to fight.

Her face lit up when she saw him, with a bittersweet smile tugging on her lips as she noticed the flat empty sleeve on the left side of his jacket.

She was happy to have him home, they were all happy to be together again.

Later that night after their mother had gone to sleep Bucky and Rebecca were able to speak frankly. His heart felt heavy, wiping tears away as he relived the terrible things the war required him to do. Bucky told her mostly everything, only sparing her from the gruesome details he did not want his little sister to imagine. He also left out the part of the man, Alexander, the supposed guardian that saved his life, though he was half convinced this was a hallucination.

Bucky pushed open the door of his bedroom and gasped, not expecting to see the figure standing there waiting for him. His jaw hung open as he stared at Alexander who was very much real. He was a few inches shorter than Bucky but stood with towering confidence. “Surprised to see me?” he asked.

Bucky nodded, unsure of what words to say as he tried to quickly accept the existence of his spiritual guardian.

“About the arm,” he nudged his chin towards Bucky, “It was the best way to get you home.” Bucky cleared his throat before speaking, “Uh yeah, thanks, thank you. I’m just glad to be here.” He tripped on his words, smiling quickly before returning to his nonplussed state.

“How’s mom? She good?” Alexander asked with a curt undertone. Bucky nodded in response. “And sister?” A chill ran down Bucky’s back and he shivered before silently nodding again. “That’s good. I’m sure you said goodbye then.”

Bucky’s face twisted in confusion, “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Alexander’s lips pulled up into a wide devilish smile. “Our deal boy. The time has come.”

Bucky sputtered out words, trying to reason with that he’s been home for less than a week. Alexander didn’t care, though he never stated the full terms of his agreement Bucky never asked. He accepted his help and he was quickly learning that his actions had consequences.

“Kill yourself,” Alexander snarled, smirking.

Bucky felt disgusted by his words, he refused. He could never.

Alexander cocked his head, closing the gap between himself and Bucky. His smile dropped, “Your mother and sister are on a train right now,” he calmly stated.

Bucky shook his head in confusion, “What does that mean?”  

“I’m a man of great influence and power,” he spat, popping the sound the word he took so much pleasure from.“They are sitting in the first car and when I derail the train they will die, painfully so,” he smirked, “Unless…” he threatened.

Bucky felt nauseous, the thought of his family dying burned a deep pit within his stomach. “I thought you were my guardian angel,” he naively questioned.

Alexander dropped his head back and laughed with a twisted sense of delight. He turned towards Bucky revealing his eyes, now covered by a deep blackness that replaced any trace of humanity he once appeared to have. “I’m far from angel.”

He raised his hands up and the furniture in Bucky’s room began to shake. The desk broke in half, with all objects once neatly displayed sliding towards the center, the dresser toppled over, photographs dropped from their place on the wall. Bucky jumped out of the way as his closet door opened, his clothes were violently strewn across the room. He could not believe what he was seeing.

Alexander looked at a mirror and it shattered, its jagged pieces fell to the ground in front of Bucky. “You know what to do.”

Bucky bent down, apprehensively picking up the shard of glass. His teary eyes pleaded with Alexander but he showed no signs of faltering.

“What happens if I do this?” his shaky voice asked. “Th-they’ll be safe? No tricks?” “They won’t be harmed. I’m a man of my word. You do this and then you work for me. Go on son.”

Bucky shut his eyes not wanting to face Alexander. Son, the word stung in his mind. Bucky thought about his father, the honorable and good man. Would he do this? No, his father was a better man. He wouldn’t have made a deal with the devil. That’s what Alexander had to be. George would have seen through something that was too good to be true, he would have died with honor on that blanket of snow. All Bucky wanted was to see his family again, to protect them. Now he was left with a horrible choice and no way out. He had to save them, the family that would forever be plagued with unanswered questions. Why? Why did he do this?

Bucky choked on a lump in his throat as the tears traveled down his cheeks. He gripped the shard, feeling the sting of glass cutting into his hand. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, knowing the people who needed to hear his words never would. He brought the shard to his neck while Alexander watched.

Bucky woke up on the hard ground, looking around he saw nothing, just blackness that felt like it was slowly creeping towards him despite his vast surroundings. There was a cold chill that blew through him yet he choked on the air, heavy with humidity making it difficult to breathe. Wait, could he even breathe?

He was alone and scared. He sat bringing his knees to his chest, going through the motions of crying without being able to shed tears, as he regretted the choices he made from the life he’ll never get back. Alexander appeared in front of him, pulling Bucky to his feet.

“You work for me now,” he spat. “And my soldiers aren’t weak.” “Soldiers?” Bucky questioned, “Alexander, I…”

He was cut off again. “You call me Pierce and I am not to be questioned. I’m not your friend. I own you. You’re gonna go up there and corrupt souls. Manipulate people, like I did to you,” he said with a sinister smile.

Bucky tried resisting at first, thinking since he was already dead that no more harm could come to him but he was wrong. Pierce brought in his trusted associate, a man formerly known as Brock Rumlow.

Rumlow was a twisted from an early age, torturing animals, slicing them open just to see what would happen. He became a surgeon, determined by his sickness to hurt people. It wasn’t enough for him to perform the surgery he was required to do. He lied to his patients, telling them the procedures he performed were life saving and necessary just so he could mutilate them.

He found a like minded assistant, Grant Ward, and together they abused countless victims. Operating without anesthesia, the relished in the sounds of screams as they experimented removing body parts, or attaching foreign objects within. Then men were caught and executed but they continue their work now as demon’s with Pierce’s full support.

Bucky had learned more about Pierce, the devil’s right hand man, a powerful demon who was building an army with plans to fight the angels in Heaven.

With the snap of his fingers Pierce made it possible for Bucky to experience pain again. Rumlow smiled as he began his torture. Minutes felt like years, years felt like centuries. Bucky had felt immeasurable amounts of pain. He tried not to scream knowing each time he did it only fueled Rumlow’s enthusiasm. He was carved with every tool imaginable, grinding his teeth as he felt the sting of each slice, only to have his body healed and prepped for the next round of torture.

Rumlow was fascinated by Bucky’s arm. He opened him up, removing what was left of his bone and replacing it with different objects. He settled on a metal arm, cast from the armor of a great demon, once a rogue knight who slayed countless villages during the Middle Ages.

Bucky knew how to end the torture, he held out for so long but he was weak, physically and mentally. He felt broken and so he conceded, accepting his fate. He hated himself for giving up. He carried out Pierce’s orders, being assigned to a variety of people all over the world; it didn’t matter who they were, only that they be influenced negatively to corrupt their souls.

One day Bucky was assigned to a new mother. He reluctantly went to the hospital with the intent on whispering thoughts to induce postpartum depression. He materialized in the hospital room, pushing past the flowers and balloons, not making himself known to the happy people who crowded around the woman. He stopped in shock as he saw his sister holding a baby swaddled in blue cloth.

“James, after my brother,” Rebecca said. “James Barnes-Proctor.” She wiped tears away as she smiled lovingly at her son. Bucky stood there in shock, seeing his sister and the man he assumed was her husband caressing the forehead of the sleeping infant. He scanned the room for his mother but she wasn’t there. He wanted to stay, to talk to Rebecca and tell her everything but he knew he couldn’t.

He left feeling determined, feeling strong like the man he should have been. He refused to do this any longer, resolving that he would rather be tortured for eternity than hurt anyone else. Pierce blinked a few times, silent in response to Bucky’s defiance. He simply smiled, snapping his fingers as a cloud of black smoke wrapped itself around Bucky. He struggled against the force of energy but wasn’t able to break free. The black cloud entered through his ears and fogged up his mind. Pierce locked away Bucky’s memories, wiping him to create the perfect demon, brainwashing him into fighting for his cause without disobedience. A soldier once again, ready for orders.

Bucky struggled to lift his heavy head, weighed down by all of his memories, guilt and pain. He wiped away fresh tears as he looked around. You had left, a while ago it seemed. Bucky wanted to find you. He wanted to undo some of the damage he’s done. Thanks to you he remembered who he was, he needed to do some good for a lot of people but he wanted to start with you. He tasted the salt on his lips before realizing the unfamiliar sense. How was he able to cry?

His thoughts were interrupted by the image of Pierce calling him back. Bucky wiped his eyes again, bringing his expression back to something neutral as he faced Pierce.

“Mission report.”

PART 3

Perm Tags: @chameerah

Story Tags: @hawaiipeople-blog @wandering-at-midnight @misscherryberry @ly--canthrope @learisa @karlilarki @greenhands5 @myfandomismyreality 

FEEDBACK is appreciated *so* much. Please like, comment, reblog! Thank you :)

[drunk-on-writing]

my name is Stanley Almodovar III i carry the name of my father and his father before me i’m twenty-three years young i dyed my hair saturday but no one got to see it sunday morning my name is Amanda Alvear i am twenty-five years young people know me as a pharmacy tech, the girl who lost almost two hundred pounds, the girl who takes too many selfies but the only place i was truly myself was where i was that night my name is Oscar Aracena i am twenty-six years young i’m a student at Valencia College i was so close to getting my degree… so close my name is Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala i am thirty-three years young i am a supervisor at the OneBlood donation center i never did know if my job was the one who tried to save my life my name is Capt. Antonio Davon Brown of the U.S. Army Reserve i am thirty years young i almost have my doctorate degree of management in organizational leadership almost my name is Darryl Roman Burt II i am twenty-nine years young i just received my master’s degree in Human Resources Management tonight, i was celebrating mi llamo Jonathan Camuy soy es veinticuatro anos trabajo en una cadena de televisión española realmente estaba deseando volver a trabajar el lunes my name is Angel Luis Candelario-Padro i am twenty-eight years young soon, i will be an ophthalmic technician i cannot wait to begin my new job in a few days my name is Omar Capo i am twenty years young i love to dance i always said i wanted to die doing what i loved my name is Simon Carrillo i am thirty-one years young my partner and i just came home from a little getaway to Niagara Falls i was really looking forward to our next vacation together my name is Luis Daniel Conde i am thirty-nine years young my best friend is  Juan Pablo Rivera Velazquez he’s been by my side since high school my name is  Juan Pablo Rivera Velazquez i am twenty-two years young my best friend is  Luis Daniel Conde seems only fitting we left this world together my name is Cory James Connell i am twenty-one years young my brother is getting married this fall and i am to be his best man don’t tell him but i have no idea what to say in my speech my name is Tevin Eugene Crosby i am twenty-five years young i am the owner of a marketing firm, Total Entrepreneurs Concepts hard work truly does pay off; i can’t wait to share my latest meme with all of my facebook friends when i get home tonight my name is Anthony Luis Laureano Disla i am twenty-five years young i love to dance, i want to be a dancer tonight, i want to go dancing with my friends my name is Deonka Deidra Drayton i am thirty-two years young for the first time in a long time, i can finally, confidently, say that i am happy my name is Leroy Valentin Fernandez i am twenty-five years young i love to sing no matter what happens in life, no one will ever take my voice away from me my name is Mercedez Marisol Flores i am twenty-six years young i am studying literature at Valencia College’s West Campus but my true passion is party planning i’ve been thinking about switching majors my name is Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz i am twenty-two years young all i want to do is make people smile i’ve always thought that laughter could cure anything my name is Paul Terrell Henry i am forty-young years young i am the proud father of two amazing kids and i have the most magnificent boyfriend i cannot thank god enough for all of my blessing my name is Frankie Hernandez i am twenty-seven years young i have a little sister, she’s one of my best friends i cannot wait to see the person she becomes when she grows up my name is Miguel Angel Honorato i am thirty years young i have three sons who i love more than life itself i hope they will enjoy what i have planned for the next birthday party my name is Jimmy De Jesús i am fifty years young i love my job but i am so thankful i have tomorrow off i plan on having a good time tonight my name is Javier Jorge-Reyes i am forty years young i am so, so proud of who i am no one can take that away from me my name is Jason Josaphat i am nineteen years young i love life, i love my life and it’s only just begun my name is Eddie Justice i am thirty years young i have a huge family, but i am a mama’s boy at heart i always make sure to text my mom everyday my name is Christopher Leinonen i am thirty-two years young i am madly in love with my boyfriend, Juan Guerrero i cannot wait to see what the future has in store for the two of us my name is Juan Guerrero i am twenty-five years young i am madly in love with my boyfriend, Christopher Leinonen after a long week at work, i just want to unwind with my love tonight my name is Alejandro Martinez i am twenty-one years young i have only been living in Florida for two years but i have always met so many kind people here; that must be why it is called the “sunshine state” my name is Brenda Lee Marquez-McCool i am forty-nine years young i beat cancer twice and i have never felt more alive my name is Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez i am twenty-five years young i am studying health care management at the Ana G. Mendez University’s Orlando campus all i want to do is help people my name is Kimberly Morris, but you can call me ‘KJ’ i am thirty-seven years young i moved to Florida to be closer to my mother and grandmother i love my job as a bouncer at Pulse Nightclub my name is Akyra Murray i am eighteen years young i just graduated from West Catholic Preparatory High School my name is Geraldo Ortiz-Jimenez, but you can call me Drake i am twenty-five years young i love Selena Gomez i hope to meet her one day Joel Rayon Paniagua i am thirty-one years young i love dancing i am going to meet my friends for a night of dancing my name is Jean Carlos Mendez Perez i am thirty-five years young not to brag, but i am the best salesperson Perfumania you can ask Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon my name is Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon i am thirty-seven years young growing up wasn’t easy but i can finally say that i am comfortable in my own skin and i am lucky enough to have Jean Carlos Mendez Perez by my side through it all my name is Enrique L. Rios i am twenty-five years young i am from New York but i came to Florida to celebrate my friend’s birthday my name is Eric Ivan Ortiz Rivera i am thirty-six years young i don’t really like clubs but it’s for a friend, so tonight, i will go my name is Xavier Emmanuel Serrano i am thirty-five years young i have a five year old son who is my entire world i just hope i will raise him to be a genuine and compassionate person my name is Christopher Sanfeliz i am twenty-four years young i am a personal banker at J.P. Morgan Chase bank i am very thankful to have Sundays off, especially tonight my name is Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan i am twenty-four years young i am a proud mom and wife my youngest baby is three months old my name is Jean Carlos Nieves Rodriguez i am twenty-seven years young i just brought my first house i just want my mom to live somewhere nice my name is Edward Sotomayor Jr. i was named after my father i am thirty-four years young i love my boyfriend and i love adventure my name is Shane Tomlinson i am thirty-three years young i am the lead singer in a band i love to bring music to the lives of others my name is Martin Benitez Torres i am thirty-three years young last month, i enrolled in college i hope to be a pharmacy tech my name is Juan Rivera Velazquez i am thirty-nine years young i love being a hair stylist  i love making people feel beautiful my name Luis Vielma i am twenty-two years young i love my job, especially working on the Harry Potter ride at Universal but one day i really want to become an EMT my name is Jerald Arthur Wright i am thirty-one years young i have a huge family, both biological and my coworkers  tonight i am celebrating my friend’s birthday

say their names (cc, 2017)

[chrismerle]

You’re Lucky You Made It: Prologue

Fandom:  Final Fantasy XV Characters:  Prompto Argentum. A couple OCs. Chapter Rating:  G, for the moment.  Warnings: A bit of bullying? It’s glossed over. Word count so far: 495 Notes:  So, in If the Ring Fits, there was one AU where Prompto lived in Tenebrae, was buddies with Luna, and was working as...basically Ravus's PA. That AU, along with the Fail Bus AU, attracted some interest and I decided 'why not?'Now, I'm gonna be honest with all of you. I am VERY SLOW when it comes to fanfiction. And very flaky. I'm actually kinda excited about this one, though, so hopefully I'll keep at it. (all encouragement is welcome. and I encourage people to shout out suggestions.) But so far I know BASICALLY NOTHING about how this is gonna go. Will there be pairings? Fuck if I know. How many other characters are gonna show up? Thbbbppppt, ask someone else, 'cause I have no clue. What am I doing? Saying 'fuck it all,' that's what. Anyway, here we have the prologue. The very tiny prologue. I only posted this part separately because it's written in a noticeably different style than the true chapter one, and I figured it'd be kinda jarring if it was submitted as one chapter. (also I had Jenny O. music stuck in my head when I typed the fic title) Obligatory Disclaimer:  I don’t own FFXV, since I’m not Square-Enix and I don’t even know anyone from Square-Enix. I don’t own the characters. I’m just playing with them.

PROLOGUE: Let’s start at the very beginning

When he was an infant, he was smuggled out of Niflheim, wrapped in a blanket with his arm swathed in bandages to hide the barcode imprinted there. He was given to the Argentums, a Lucian family. They called him Prompto, he called them Mama and Papa, and they belonged to each other. If they were ever aware of where he came from or just how unusual his adoption was, they never said anything about it. His mother worked as an EMT and his father as a banker. They were good, well-meaning, average people.

Prompto was four years old when an opportunity for his father to have a better job opened up across the map. They packed up Prompto, his toys, and most of the things in the house, and off they went to Tenebrae. It made little difference to Prompto, whose memories of Lucis were young and faded easily.

His mother could have stopped working if she wanted to. She didn't--she said she would go batty if she couldn't fill her time--but she did work less, so she could drop Prompto off at school herself most mornings, and pick him up on some afternoons. So she could watch him grow and feel like she was actually there for his life.

He was a solitary child, clinging to his mother's pants in public and keeping to himself in class, even if he watched his classmates like there was a window between them and he was trying to figure out how to break it.

He was eight when his parents gave him a camera--plastic, disposable, maybe ten gil, but that wasn't the important part--and he loved it. It went everywhere with him, until it ran out of film and his father took it away to get it developed when he wasn't looking, deftly leaving an identical replacement in its spot.

He learned through trial and error, for the most part. The first lessons were simple. Faces were good, so long as he wasn't looking up someone's nose. Faces were better if they weren't paying attention to him. Nothing looked like what it was supposed to be if he moved too much. The more complicated lessons came later, but they were some very nice building blocks. He was only nine by the time his parents decided he could be trusted with an actual camera.

Prompto was ten when a classmate finally grabbed his arm and stared hard at the barcode that he had always carefully not questioned. She squinted at it before laughing and asking, "What, did your parents get you for half-off somewhere?"

He used his allowance to buy a pair of gloves at a thrift store that afternoon. His parents didn't question it. Instead they looked…sad. He continued to carefully not question it.

When he was twelve years old, he found a lanky, half-grown dog wandering the street as he walked home from school. As with many things, the dog changed everything.

[mycryptosuite]

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How To Become a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

I get asked pretty frequently about what the requirements are to become a Certified Financial Planner

and what I went through to achieve the designation.

Knowing there are over 800,000 people who can be considered “financial advisors” to some degree, I knew I had to differentiate myself.

But, it wasn't all about being different; it was also about having a deeper understanding and appreciation of the financial planning process.

I knew becoming a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER

professional (CFP®) was the answer to enhance my career. I found it fitting to not only share my experience but to have a few other CFP® professionals chime in with their experience's, too.

But before we dive into how, let's take a step back. Let me tell you more about how I got inspired to become a CFP.

I love my job. I can't tell you how lucky and fortunate I feel to be able to truthfully say this.

Is my job easy? H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks no!

Being a financial advisor requires a certain skill set I had no idea I had until I got started in the business.

But I'm not here to tell you how successful I am.

What I want to do is to address the most common question I get from prospective advisors:

I'm interested in becoming a financial advisor. What do you consider the best way to get started in your industry?

Whew. That might seem like an easy question to answer, but SO much has changed since I got in the business over 15 years ago.

How I Got Started: A Look Back In Time

Pretty soon it would be the end of a good run - graduation was approaching. I had just had one of the best interviews of my life with A.G. Edwards and Sons (they were purchased by Wells Fargo).

It was so good, in fact, I felt I had secured a position with their corporate office in St. Louis, and I would soon be living the dream of riding the corporate ladder to the top.

It all looked good; then the “Dot Com” bubble burst.

Things changed. And not for the better.

A. G. Edwards, at the time, had a been in existence for 117 years and never had any company layoffs. Never.

That is, until, I was getting ready to graduate. Of course, right?

My future, which once had visions of me living in St. Louis, was gone. Now what I'm going to do?

Um… How about Plan B?

Part of me getting the opportunity to have a great interview was because I was already interning at the local A.G. Edwards office in my hometown.

I landed the internship as kind of a desperate measure between my junior and senior year. I had one of those pucker moments where I realized that other than my work history of local retail jobs and my military experience, there was nothing really outstanding on my resume.

It hit me how I would be graduating in a year and I still needed to get up and do something, and I needed to do it now.

Through a connection, I inquired about a summer internship at the local A.G. Edwards branch, and I was lucky enough to get it.

It was like any other internship you would imagine: filing, paper shredding, all the administrative tasks that no one else in the office wanted to do.

Although the tasks were remedial, I treated the internship like a real job. I showed up on time, dressed the part, did everything which was asked of me (and above), and made a lot of good impressions on the staff.

Amazing What a Little Bit of Effort Will Do

Along the way, I was asked by one of the assistance of the top producers in the branch if I could help file away some financial statements which had been piling up on them. I'm the intern, of course, I'll help.

As I started to file them away, I realized their filing system was a little bit out-dated. In fact, it was a mess.

So I took it upon myself to re-setup their file system which I thought would help them out in the long run. Turns out, the little extra effort made a very good impression.

As it turns out, the top producer was looking to hire someone part-time to help out his assistant with their day-to-day tasks.

At this time, I was getting ready to be a senior in college. I was already working 15 to 20 hours a week at a mall job. But I thought it was good opportunity to get my foot in the door.

My senior year, I was hired to work 8 a.m. – noon, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (most of my classes were on Tuesday and Thursdays), and then I would also work at my mall job in the evenings and weekends.

I didn't think much of the job at the time, about what it may turn into. Turns out it would lead to much, much more.

I continued working for them and helping them out with just their day-to-day tasks. Then, along the way, the broker had asked me if I'd be interested in cold-calling for him.

I had never done anything of the sort, but I thought, oh, what the heck, we'll give it a try.

Every once in a while I would call randomly from a list he had purchased of residents in the local community. I was calling just to set appointments for him, with a basic spiel; and, to both his and my amazement, I landed him a few appointments.

That's when it started to happen.

My first nameplate – how exciting!

As graduation was getting closer, it turns out this producer who I had helped with his filing, was looking to hire a junior broker.

He had asked if I was interested, but initially I turned him down, primarily because I had bigger dreams. I had planned on working a corporate job up in St. Louis, and also I felt I was way too young to handle people's money.

I had noticed many of the top clients who came in the branch were at least twice, if not three times my age. I felt I had no business advising them on their retirement planning.

So I kept plugging away, hoping for the next bigger and better thing.

As graduation approached, I realized the bigger and better thing was not coming. I didn't want to graduate without having something lined up, so I accepted his offer.

I was going to be a junior broker.

I didn't have the same ring as “corporate executive” or “investment banker”, but I was still excited for the prospects of what could come.

Most everything in life I'd ever tried out, or even attempted, I had always succeeded; so naturally, I thought this would be no different.

I still didn't know if this was what I would do for the rest of my life, but I was excited for the opportunity to see what could happen.

And as they say, “the rest is history.”

If you're at the same point in your life, where you're truly considering the possibility of becoming a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER

, you might be wondering what exactly the process looks like from beginning to end.

Well, here's exactly what it takes.

The Steps You Need to Take To Become a CFP

1 | Complete the Education Requirement

Before you can even apply to the CFP® program, you have to satisfy the preliminary education requirements.

At the point in my career, I decided to pursue the CFP® certification, I was more than five years removed from college, with my Bachelor's in finance, so I easily satisfied the education requirement.

Currently, the CFP Board allows three different paths to achieve these requirements. Taken directly from the CFP.net website:

Complete a CFP Board-Registered Education Program

There are more than 300 academic programs at colleges and universities across the country from which to choose.

These programs include credit and non-credit certificate programs, undergraduate and graduate degree programs.

They use various delivery formats and schedules, including classroom instruction, self-study, and online delivery.

Many of CFP Board's Registered Programs also offer in-house educational programs for individual companies.

Academic degrees and credentials which fulfill the educational requirements include:

Certified Public Accountant (CPA) – inactive license acceptable

Licensed attorney – inactive license acceptable

Chartered Financial Analyst® (CFA®)

Doctor of Business Administration

Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC)

Ph.D. in business or economics

Chartered Life Underwriter (CLU)

Request a Transcript Review

Certain industry credentials recognized by CFP Board, or the successful completion of upper-division level college courses, may satisfy some or all of the education requirements set by CFP Board.

Bachelor's Degree Requirement

A bachelor's degree (or higher), or its equivalent,1 in any discipline, from an accredited college or university2 is required to attain CFP® certification.

The bachelor's degree requirement is a condition of initial certification; it is not a requirement to be eligible to take the CFP® Certification Examination.

After you pass the CFP® Certification Examination, you will be required to provide evidence (official transcript from the degree-granting institution) you hold a qualified bachelor's degree or higher degree.

Jim Blakenship, CFP® and author of Getting Your Financial Ducks in a Row, shares his experience on achieving the CFP® designation:

I took the American College Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC) course which fulfilled the education prereq. The ChFC course was provided by my employer at the time (an insurance company). I followed this up with a CFP self-study course from Dalton. Then I went to a two-weekend live review from Dalton. The Dalton courses were much more useful than the American College course, in my experience.

2 | Pass the CFP® Certification Examination

Wholey Moley, what an exam!

The CFP® Certification Examination was by far the most challenging exam I've ever taken (and hopefully ever will) take.

The two day, 10-hour exam applied all the key areas of comprehensive financial planning. Although all questions are multiple choice, they are arranged in a way where every question “almost” sounds right.

That's what makes the test so challenging.

The exam is administered three times a year – generally on the third Friday and Saturday of March, July, and November, at about 50 domestic locations.

I took mine at the University of Missouri-St.Louis in November of 2007. The application deadline is approximately seven weeks prior to each exam date (e.g., February 1, June 1, and October 1).

To apply to take the exam, complete the online application, download an application, or call 800-487-1497 to have one mailed to you.

Completed applications, including payment of the $595 fee, must be received by the deadlines printed on the applications – there are no exceptions.

How I Prepared For the Exam

My previous firm had an arrangement with Kaplan University which offered a “boot camp” style class.

Once a month, for nine months, I traveled to St. Louis to sit in on a four-day (8 a.m. – 6 p.m.) lecture. I've never drank more Diet Coke and coffee in my life!

Our instructor was insanely smart and helped us trudge our way through all the concepts. Imagine learning about estate planning for 9+ hours a day. Are you jealous, yet?

After all the sessions, we then had a final recap with a different instructor a month before the actual exam.

Reflecting back, I really don't know another way I could have absorbed so much information in such a small amount of time. If I had to do the CFP program by self study, I would probably still be without the designation (no joke).

Richard T. Freight, CFP® who also authors the blog Think Beyond the Numbers, confirms my suspicions by sharing his experience with the CFP self-study program:

After failing to discipline myself with self study, over the course of 3 years I took the individual courses (5 in 1998) at 3 different community college and universities, often traveling an hour each way, twice a week, to pass the exams. Then I took Ken Zahn's “blitz” 3-day course to pass the overall exam. I know it sounds like the old walking uphill both ways to school in the snow, but it wasn't a cake walk by any means. My overall exam had a pass rate of 49% across the U.S. that year.

Test Results

I sat for the exam in November of 2007 and didn't receive my test results until early January. Talk about suspense.

I just happened to be home the day when the mail came. I remember seeing the thin, little white envelope from the CFP Board and my heart sank.

Why was the envelope so thin? Was it a bad sign?

I nervously paced inside and finally just ripped the envelope open….Congratulations you passed.

I screamed with excitement and then called my wife to share the good news.

Typically, each testing period has about a 50% pass rate and this was about the same with my group. This is why I was so thankful I passed.

When you receive notice you passed, you then have to satisfy the remaining requirements.

3 | Meet the Experience Requirement

In March of 2007, I began the Kaplan University CFP® course. At that time, I had been a financial advisor for already five years, which satisfied the experience requirement.

The CFP Board requires you have at least three years of qualifying full-time work experience.

According to the website, the experience can be gained in a number of ways including:

the delivery of all, or of any portion, of the personal financial planning process to a client.

the direct support or supervision of individuals who deliver all, or any portion, of the personal financial planning process to a client.

teaching all, or any portion, of the personal financial planning process.

Joe Pitzl, CFP® shares how he got a head start in completing his experience requirement:

To get a head start on fulfilling my experience requirement, I held three financial planning internships and filed tax returns in a tax firm for two years while in school (it counted for about a year collectively). I then worked for a year as a full-time financial planner before taking and passing the exam. Six months later, I had officially fulfilled the 3-year requirement and became a CFP®.

4 | Background Check… Do You Pass?

Applicants for CFP® certification must pass CFP Board's Candidate Fitness Standards, which describe conduct which may bar an individual from being certified.

This is one of the aspects which makes being a CFP® professional so much more prominent; we are held to a higher standard than your typical financial advisors.

The board will conduct a background check as you make your commitment to adhere to the CFP Board's Code of Ethics and Professional Responsibility and Financial Planning Practice Standards.

Brian Plain, CFP® shares a similar accelerated approach to achieving his designation:

Apparently I'm a glutton for punishment as I fulfilled my education requirement through the accelerated 9-month program at Northwestern and then did a 4-day live review course prior to taking my exam…for the first time. Getting the “fail” letter in the mail was deflating, but it was also made me appreciate the experience so much more when I received my “pass” letter the next time I sat for the exam. Needless to say, I still have the letter!

5 | Time to Pay Your Dues

After you verify those three steps, it's time to pay up (yeah, the $595 fee from before was just to apply).

You'll have to pay a one-time, non-refundable initial certification application fee of $100 for the background check.

In addition, you will be responsible for a biennial certification fee of $360. To me, this cost is minimal, compared to the amount of knowledge I have gained through the whole process.

Jason McGarraugh, CFP® gives a detailed account of his path to becoming licensed:

I went the Degree Plan rout. After spending 4 years getting a BBA in Corporate Finance at Texas Tech I graduated without any of the Financial Planning knowledge that I wanted. Circa 2000 I discovered that Texas Tech actually had a Masters program in Financial Planning. I spent 2 1/2 years working on my Master of Science in Personal Financial Planning which included the necessary CFP® courses with additional classes to round out the degree plan. After graduating I spent a semester working for a private school in Singapore that taught the CFP® courses there.

I moved back to Lubbock in May of 2003 and began the two month live review with the professors at Tech to prepare for the July exam. I made enough money In Singapore to pay for the review and a few months of rent with some friends that were also taking the review. I studied 6 days a week for two months and passed the exam on the first go round. I probably put in about 250 hours of study and class time. I made it a point to take one random day off a week to relax.

It took about a month to get the results back and during this time I was interviewing for jobs. By early October 2003 I was fully licensed for insurance and securities and working with Waddell & Reed in Fort Worth, TX (plan B). I reached my 3 years in October of 2005 thanks to 12 months of experience as a Peer Financial Counselor with Tech's Red to Black program.

6 | Congratulations! You Are Officially a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER

Professional

Once everything is complete, you will get a notice you are officially a CFP® and you can refer to yourself as one.

After making it this far, you deserve it.

Now it's time to order new business cards and make the appropriate updates to your website. I never thought I would be so excited over “three little letters” but all the time invested to achieve those letters makes them extra special.

7 | Continuing Education Requirements for a CFP®

Once you pass the exam, you're not done, however.

Every two years you'll have to satisfy continuing education requirements to keep your CFP® credentials. The CE requirements consist of:

2 hours from a CFP Board-approved program on CFP Board's Standards of Professional Conduct.

28 hours from one or more of the accepted subject topics.

It's up to you where and how you complete the CE requirements, you just have to make sure it's a pre-approved program by the CFP board. There are plenty of resources nowadays to do this.

One of my favorites is mini quizzes found in trade journals such as Financial Advisor Magazine and the Journal of Financial Planning.

It's always nice to learn something new and get credit for it, too!

Are you still considering becoming a financial planner? Think you're ready? Keep reading.

Going Solo – The True Costs of Starting Your Own Financial Planning Firm

In 2011, I embarked on one of the most exciting business transitions of my life – I formed my own registered investment advisory firm. I get a lot of questions from advisors wanting to know about the process.

How does it work?

How much does it cost?

Is it worth it?

Plus, I have friends and blogging friends who are also curious and would love a look behind the scenes of starting a financial planning business. Since I have over 5 years underneath my belt of starting my own firm, I thought I would share a little bit of how it all went down.

I'm also trying to get a sense of how much I have spent in the past year in doing so… thank goodness for my CPA!

Before I begin, let's first start with a jump back to my story so you can understand exactly what had happened since getting my “three little letters” approved.

The First Step

In 2007, three others advisors and I left A.G. Edwards and Sons, which had recently been bought out by Wachovia (now Wells Fargo) and started Alliance Investment Planning Group. We were an independent financial planning firm under the independent broker-dealer, LPL Financial.

LPL Financial was the largest independent brokerage firm and the big difference between them and an Edward Jones or a Merrill Lynch (or any major brokerage firm), at least from the advisor standpoint, is they allow you to create your own company at the local level.

That's why we operated as a DBA (doing business ass) Alliance Investment Planning Group.

Essentially, in the relationship, I was an independent contractor utilizing their services, and then LPL held my licenses: my Series 7, and my insurance licenses.

Keep in mind many advisors don't take this step, although it's becoming more popular. From a payout standpoint, it definitely pays to take some risks.

Let me explain…

With A.G. Edwards, my payout was 40%.

That meant for every commission or fee earned, I would give the company 60% of every dollar. That was my price for having the company name behind me, back office support, my fully furnished office (phone, computer, desk, etc), a receptionist and anything else you would need to run an office.

For many, it takes away all the added pressure of running a business so you can just focus on your existing clients (and also acquiring more).

Unfortunately, if you're an obsessed entrepreneur like myself; it just wasn't quite enough.

Moving to LPL meant we now became true business owners.

We had to find our own office building, buy our own computers, desks, printers, filing cabinets, phone systems, 47″ TV's (I will argue to this day it's a necessity!), receptionist, etc.

Why would anyone want to deal with that?

Because the payout increased from 40% to 90%.

Yes, that's a pretty substantial raise. What made it even more substantial is we were able to split costs 4 ways. (We eventually added 3 more advisors so everything was split 7 ways.)

This meant more money in my pocket! My revenue increased dramatically because of this.

In fact, it has increased 4-5 times more where I was at when I left A.G. Edwards in 2007.

Trapped in a Box

My practice continued to grow and, honestly, I had no reason to change. No reason whatsoever.

There was, however, this one little thing which occurred which eventually made me realize change was not only coming, it was inevitable.

That “occurrence” was this blog.

As my blog continued to take off, and I got tired of the compliance hurdles, I knew I needed to make a change.

If you have a Series 7 license, anything you do online comes with great scrutiny and everything, I mean EVERYTHING, has to be pre-approved first.

Note for those who aren't familiar with this industry: If you have a Series 7, you have the ability to sell a security (stock, ETF, mutual fund, variable annuity) and earn a commission. If you can earn a commission, FINRA has fairly strict rules on how you discuss these types of securities. That's what makes blogging such a challenge for advisors with their 7.

Pre-approval is very time consuming, but it wasn't the most frustrating part.

I was also limited to what I could say and how I could say it. As an example, my post 7 Financial Advisors I Would Like to Punch in the Face would never have been approved. Never!

And that's why I enjoyed writing it so much more.

Dropping the 7

To get the freedom I wanted, it required me dropping my Series 7 and then forming my own RIA (registered investment advisory firm) with the state of Illinois. There were a lot of hurdles in my way because I didn't know how it all worked.

I didn't know if I could stay with LPL Financial.

I didn't know if I could still be in the same office building with my current partners.

I didn't know how to even begin.

I had a lot of fact-finding to do.

Thanks to some good contacts, I learned it was possible to operate in the same office as my other partners, I would just to create a separate entity, ergo, Alliance Wealth Management, LLC, was born.

I had to get a new phone number, order new business cards, and change my literature to reflect these changes, too.

Now, the question was who was going to be my custodian. The custodian is the provider who offers statements, a trading platform to buy and sell investments, among other things.

LPL Financial has an RIA platform, I just didn't know if it would all work out.

Sure enough, it did. This was an easy transition for many of my clients since they would continue to get the same statements and most would keep the same account numbers.

Another note: this was probably the most confusing part about the whole process, which was hard for my clients to fully understand, especially since was still with LPL. The easiest way I explain it is I just switched departments within LPL's business structure. Before I was an independent agent/contractor with them. Now my firm, Alliance Wealth Management, LLC., is a client utilizing their custodial services. LPL no longer held any of my licenses and they are not responsible for me. Instead, the State of Illinois is now responsible for me. Clear as mud? Good.

[blaisydaisyreviews]

ABC recommendations

It’s been a while since I written a review. I still want to do my Solondz series along with other series. I’m going to do a spontaneous abc review of my recommendations just to get to juices going. I have not seen all these movies, but I’ve seen shots and bits from other recommendations.  

A is for Akira

I have not finished seeing this film, and I remember I only had an hour left of it. I really appreciated the cool futuristic style in Akira, and I’m not a fan of anime or the mangas but this movie looks really cool and it’s special to a lot of people.

B is for Bully directed by Larry Clark

I recently saw this film last week. At first, I didn’t know what to think about this film, but I think I like it. It’s based off a true story about a group of teens who conspire to kill a mutual friend, who’s a bully and an asshole to his friends. Larry Clark is one of my favorite film makers and photographers. This film is a real trip and I love the way it’s shot. Some of the scenes are very disorienting but in a cool way. 

C is for Cannibal Holocaust 

Due to technical difficulties, I can never finish watching this film on my Shudder App. I’ve only seen it up to halfway, but I’ve always been fascinated to how this film got made. Apparently, the filmmaker was arrested and was asked if those kills were real. The only creatures who were unfortunately harmed were animals like a turtle, a squirrel monkey, a pig, and more. The filmmaker was a dick for doing that, but if you don’t wanna see that you can look for an animal cruelty-free version. This film also sparked the found footage genre in horror, which makes the film look gritty and realistic.

D is for The Doom Generation directed by Greg Arraki

I’ve seen this film a couple of times, and it’s one of those movies that I’d like to own on DVD. I’d like to own The Doom Generation so I can appreciate it from time to time. It’s a queer horror exploitation film with Rose Mcgowan and James Duvall. This movie is a weird trip, weird in a cool way. This movie’s so cool, and it holds a special place in my heart.

E is for Ed Wood directed by Tim Burton

This film is about Ed Wood, the notoriously bad filmmaker, mostly known for Plan 9 from Outer Space. In this film, Johnny Depp plays Ed Wood, and it’s about the making of Plan 9 from Outer Space. Overall this is a very enjoyable little movie. In my opinion, it’s one of Tim Burtons under rated movies. I love how it’s shot in black and white. It’s a film about film making, and those films are always interesting.

F is for Funny Games directed by Michael Haneke

If you’re like me, you have to distinguish which version of Funny Games you prefer. I like the original Austria version a lot more. The U.S. remake is directed by the same one from the original. His plan was to make a U.S. version first but I guess his plans fell through. I honestly feel like the remake was unnecessary. Thank goodness I can read subtitles. Funny Games is a home invasion film that works as a satire on how we perceive violence. I love the main villain in this film and how he breaks the fourth wall from time to time, and there are moments in the film when he knows he’s in a film. I love it so much, it’s bonkers and it works.

G is for Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai directed by Jim Jarmusch

Forrest Whitaker plays a character named Ghost Dog, who embodies the philosophy of a samurai. I love this film, I’ve shown it to my friends and they grew to love it as much as I do. There’s a lot of elements of Ghost Dog that I want to talk about, but it’s mainly known for its beautiful cinematography and classic Jarmusch storytelling. 

H is for Happiness directed by Todd Solondz

The film follows three sisters and the people around them, and everyone is miserable or unhappy in their own way. This is a dark comedy, with amazing raw cringing performances. It’s listed as one of the most disturbing films ever made, and in my opinion, it can certainly be dangerously disturbing.

I is for Idiocracy directed by Mike Judge

To be honest, I recently saw this movie and I’m surprised how well it holds up for 2017. I’m a huge fan of Office Space, Extract, and King of the Hill so I’m upset that I just saw this movie now. It’s 2005 and the film follows Private Joe, who is selected to take part in a military experiment to put him in hibernation for a year. He is put in with another person, Rita, and they are forgotten for about 500 years til there was this garbage avalanche and their pods were open. Joe and Rita are separated and they start to realize the decline of human intelligence and because of this Joe is declared the smartest person on earth with an average IQ. A lot of the language is problematic because there are lawyers and doctors who use words like fag and retard. As bad as it sounds, it works for the plot and it makes this a funny satire. 

J is for Julien Donkey Boy directed by Harmony Korine

The story focuses on the schizophrenic Julien and his dysfunctional family. I love how Korine breaks some rules from Dogma 95, and he does so in a creative perspective. I wasn’t so sure about this film at first, but this film grew on me over time and this is very different from your usual conventional storytelling. This film is not for everyone, it’s very disturbing and dark. 

Ken Park directed by Larry Clark

I have not seen Ken Park yet. This was also written by Harmony Korine. From what I know it’s about the lives of several teenagers with dysfunctional family problems. I also heard this movie was messed up so I gotta prepare myself for that.

L is for Lost Highway directed by David Lynch

I’m not too familiar with Lost Highway, but this is definitely on my bucket list. 

M is for May directed by Lucky McKee

This film follows May, a lonely young woman with a traumatizing childhood, and the attempts to get closer to people. This is a fun little horror movie, with hammy acting and a great storyline. I love the shots and the meaning behind this film. I really sympathize with May, and I take pleasure in her reaching her sick goals. This movie is really special, very close to my heart, and James Duvall is in this film. Just for one scene but still. If you’re into weird films like Donnie Darko then I dare you to watch May.

N is for Night on Earth directed by Jim Jarmusch

Night on Earth follows five taxi drivers in five separate cities around the world. The first story follows a tomboy taxi driver, Corky, played by Winona Ryder, and she gives one of my favorite performances. Corky is such an adorable foul mouthed tomboy, she’s a taxi driver and an aspiring mechanic. I don’t know if I want to be her, or if I want to be with her, and that’s how cute and awesome Corky is. The characters are what I love most about this film. That’s just one story, and the rest are just as ridiculous and emotionally investing. 

O is for Old Boy Directed by Chan Wook Park

Oldboy follows a man who was mysteriously kidnapped and locked in a room for 15 years. After he’s released he has to figure out who locked him up and why. Oldboy is such a cool South Korean revenge film, with beautiful cinematography, poetic realism, and music. 

P is for Paris, Texas directed by Wim Wenders

The film follows a disheveled man, Travis, played y Harry Dean Stanton, who is found wandering the desert. When a stranger contacts his brother, Walt, he is forced to find his brother and bring him back home to his eight-year-old son. We don’t know why Travis disappeared for four years, and how silent he is throughout the film. I legit thought he was a mute, but no you learn that he hasn’t talked in years because of a heartbreak. This film is wonderfully shot, and it’s just a beautiful looking film. Paris, Texas is emotionally heartbreaking and it stays with you when it’s done. Harry Dean Stanton, you’re the fucking man!

Q is for

I don’t know any movies that I could recommend that start with the letter Q. Pass.

R is for The Room directed by Tommy Wiseau

It’s known as the Citizen Kane of bad movies. The story isn’t much, it’s about a banker, Johnny, who’s engaged with Lisa, his future wife, who has an affair with Mark, Johnny’s best friend. That’s the story, but this film has to be seen to believed. The Room is perfect to watch with a group of friends, and it’s wonderful seeing someone else’s reaction to seeing The Room for the first time. This film is flat out bonkers, and I love it. There are a lot of things wrong with it, and there are subplots that come and go and are never mentioned again. 

S is for Samurai Cop

I don’t know a lot about this film, only that it’s a Lethal Weapon rip off and it’s known as one of the best worst movies ever made. I heard it was discovered in a film vault, at a film company. I can imagine this is another one of those bad movies you can watch with a group of friends and have a good time. 

T is for Tetsuo: The Iron Man

I haven’t seen the first Tetsuo or any of them, but the first one is a body horror film about a man who transforms into a cyborg man with metal parts and wires. It looks so cool. It’s still on my watch list.

U is for 

V is for Visitor Q directed by Takashi Miike

I haven’t seen Visitor Q or a lot of Miike films besides Audition and The Happiness of the Katakuris. I heard this is one of Miike’s most prolific films, so gotta check this out sometime.

W is for Welcome to the Dollhouse directed by Todd Solondz

I’ve already reviewed this film because it’s one of my favorite films. This film follows Dawn Weiner, an 8th grader who gets bullied a lot and neglected at home. I love how heartbreaking this film is from the point of view of an 8th grader. It’s raw and brave for displaying a brutally honest depiction of middle school.

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