#Literally as I was making this yesterday I was like ''WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS''
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
US Tumblr user growth rate is estimated to slow down to 4.1%.
Text
Kaboodle [talking about Zam]: "We're not similar because we both have bloodlust, we/re similar because we both get– we both get picked on by the strongest people on the server, and fuck I wasn't any better. I'm not any better. If I'm picking on Zam too man, it's the same shit Mane did to me. What's the point, right?"
Kaboodle: "I'm a lot more similar to Zam than I thought I was, but not, you know... not because of who he once was."
Kaboodle: "[Reading chat] 'It comes full circle' Yep, I guess so! I guess so. [Laughs at the messages in the game chat] But, listen, I need to re-evaluate my goals a bit cuz yeah, it's fun, it's fun blowing stuff up, I agree, it's fun putting people in bad situations where they have to make tough choices and I enjoy all of that, but... doing that to Zam... It's not– It's not the morality of the situation that I wanna, you know, reconsider, cuz there's definitely some people that fucking deserve it, and... maybe some people that don't that I would still do it to anyway because it's fun, but... Zam's a weird case, cuz... he's... he's like me. He's like me. I don't know he... he's being harassed for weaknesses by Mane and– and Wemmbu and Flame. Which is the same shit Mane did to me. I don't think I quite realized that until he said it yesterday about why he does this stuff and why he's like this.
"[...] Yeah, it's uh, it's a weird situation chat, cuz it's like, I really enjoy fucking with Zam, I really do, but– it's not right. And beyond being not right, that I'm not willing to do, because it's literally just the same shit that I've been fighting against, and now I'm just– it's just generational bullying, that's what it is, it's just– Mane bullied me, I'm taking it out on Zam, and... the cycle never's gonna end if I keep doing that. Out of everyone, Zam is the last person to deserve that at all, honestly. And I need to solve that, I need to stop it, because right now, he's– you could see his fucking tab list [talking about Zam's skin, wich has one eye that is patched and the other one visibly bloodied], he's having a bad time. I mean he– he's never gonna trust me ever again, but... I guess the best I can do is leave him alone and– get myself in check, because I have other people to deal with.
"I have other people to deal with, I have a ManePear still to deal with, and that should be my priority. I'm not gonna have fun killing Mane but... there isn't a point going after Zam, it's just... he's just like me, and there's no point pilling things on top of each other, I don't know. I still believe that he's got the fucking evil inside of him, I still believe that, and I want to exploit that from him, but... not now. Cuz I wanna do it in a way that's fun, that's enjoyable and... kicking him while he's down makes him more miserable, and it's– it's not fun for me at all, right, what's the point in tearing someone down if you– oh my goodness, wow [looking at the damage done at spawn] Hmm, I did not realize how severe this was, holy shit. Wow. Wow. He's gonna have a rough time with this uh... but that's– that's not my jurisdiction anymore. I– I don't– I don't wanna talk to Zam [laughs] Honestly in any of the lights, I don't wanna speak to Zam, because... I don't know– it's... it's weird– it's– it's a weird thing, because it's like, I don't– I don't... I don't wanna trust people again, uh, like I trusted y'know, the Mice, and Red, but... [laughs] fuck, I don't wanna be alone again. And yeah I have my team, but is my team really a fucking team, are they really a team, let's be so for real.
"[Looking sadly at Zam's destroyed house at spawn] Oh Zam. I don't know. I– I empathize with Zam, I care about Zam more than I probably should, in all honesty. [Looking at spawn] Fuck, this is rough though. But he doesn't want my help and... I gotta respect that. And I don't wanna talk to him either because... he is scary. [Laughs] In all honesty, hes scary, cuz he makes me let my guard down, and I don't like that, so..."
#vodwatching#lifesteal spoilers#Vod: Reflections | Lifesteal SMP ******#Kab's stream#the first 8min of the youtube vod
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
really really small guys
edgar belongs to jhonen vasquez
scriabin belongs to @zarla-s
png ver. for some reason
andddd the sketch. for some reason too
#sunny's art#vargas#vargas zarla#edgar vargas#scriabin vargas#zarla s#scriabin#look at themmm#scriabin looks so so so pretty here#i have a specific image of an angry scriabin on my head#and i think this is the closest i'll get it#even if he's not angry here. but. just add some angry eyebrows and tadah !#my eye is swollen for no reason aaaghhh help me#my little sister was watching peppa yesterday#and there was this one scene of them making flower crowns#she said something about wanting to draw scriabin like that#(she knows the characters because i can't stop talking about them hahah)#so i decided to sketch something with this idea and. we have this. credits go to my little sister for the idea.#she literally asked me like FIVE TIMES if i could give her credits on the post. sooo#this is so funny i didn't expect this to look so pretty#it's even better that the drawing i've been working on for the past THREE MONTHS#and this one only took five hours. alright#if anyone's concerned. my mental health is way better now :D#i convinced like five of my friends to read vargas too so that also makes life interesting.#also they're making fan art and it's such a nice sensation#i'm still kind of blocked though. i'm wasting precious vacation time !!! aaagggghhh !1!!#unhhh probably i wrote something wrong here but i don't want to check#i almost forgot edgar's scars hahaha i didn't drew them at first because they looked like eyebags on the sketch#also i wanted to draw edgar's eyes but it didn't look good soooo#i wanted scriabin to look angry?? but he looks flustered instead.
140 notes
·
View notes
Text
You'll never guess what I spent MY evening doing.
(I really miss Karmaland and Luckity 😭)
#Karmaland#Luckity#Luzu#Quackity#I don't even necessarily mean this in a shippy sense#I just miss Luckity interacting and I miss Beanie Duo interacting#Luzu come home.....#Luckity te extraño.......#I actually put a stupid amount of editing into this LMAO#listen the idea wouldn't leave my head#If you're wondering why I use this specific song#it's because Miranda sings the (unofficial) Luckity song#which is their unofficial song because Blisky made an animation for them to this song#Literally as I was making this yesterday I was like ''WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS''#agh#I really miss the story they told and I feel like we still need a proper resolution#karmaland talk#my videos#frick what was my tag for this#very slight volume warning potentially#only if you've got your volume really high already though
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
girl who sucks at making OCs needs to make a DnD character send help
#I did make one who was rad but then got vetod by the DM and now I handed in a half-elf wizard but she's just so basic#she literally has no personality send help#and also idk what direction should we take because I have no idea what the other people will be like in the party#and I'm the only girl player there so I don't want for that to be like be a thing and bring a stereotipically girly character#and I could make her like a standard bookish wizard which obviously stands very close to me and would be super easy to play#but that's so cliche and I don't want to be like everyone's mom in game if everyone else is just running around and fucking shit up#but I know that I'll have a harder time playing a more reckless and careless character and if there isn't going to be someone#thinking for the team and we just go headfirst into stuff that also sucks.#and like I like to be someone who thinks about the solutions it just can't just be me being the party pooper if you get me#but poor wizard girl is just so mid with her 'my parents wanted me to be an X wizard but I'm gonna be an Y wizard instead' backstory#like wow such rebellion you're gonna show them girl#but at this point I'm a week behind schedule so I need to have a character like for yesterday#and I don't want to just copy others' dnd characters from D20 but they have like a group cohesion and individual arcs and that's so cool#and I suck at making up little men#miaing#mia's dnd adventures#I'm stressing so much over just making a character and meeting strangers bringing a character with anxiety disorder wouldn't even be rp#I guess great that my sorcerer got vetoed how would I play out being the face of the party
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#oh i am a bit tired tonight folks. had a nice time yesterday trawling through old pens forums and linking back some posts to here#(all with links because like - it's nice to share where you've found fun stuff right?) no point gatekeeping at all - we don't own content#and then the same old people once again somehow by chance post the exact same five or six photos 5 minutes after#and yeah. great minds think alike right? you were probably trawling a not touched since 2015 forum too at the same time. it's possible#and out of the hundreds of photos on there you decided to make the exact selection i did. it's possible right?#and truthfully i don't really care because i'm posting this stuff because my blog is MY personal archive and it's stuff I want to catalogue#but when you have blocked as many blogs and sideblogs as you can and people are still finding you and send you shitty anons for just...#daring to use the player tags? cataloging stuff by literally tagging the player's name? ughhhhh it's exhausting how can i block you when yo#are the tumblr equivalent of hydra regrowing a new fake sideblog pretending to be a different person every week.#sorry i know this ranting into the abyss is pointless but i have a few more posts scheduled for tonight and i know i'll wake up tomorrow#and miraculously the same ones will be posted on the same people's blogs 5 minutes after me and it's just so childish#but yeah. we all know who they are and i'm just a little tired of it and hearing the stories of people being harassed in their inboxes/dms#anyway anyway anyway. i think i shall just take a break from posting stuff because feeling a little disheartened! and uncomfortable#because i feel watched. please stop using other blogs to find me. please stop talking about me in your tags. touch some grass my friends
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.
#tw sh#the one from a fortnight ago. which i have told nobody irl about including the person to which i showed the first one. is still thinking#about healing and not really doing it yet. it'll get there. might have to wear a bandage or smth on placement#if we were going into winter i would think there was a serious concern of doing it a bunch more but for now i know i absolutely cannot#because it will be visible.#i mean it already will but im gonna pretend it was from months ago and hopefully deflect questions about just how i got such scars#actually the one that i think approached muscle is surprisingly close to healed and probably going to scar surprisingly little#the other one is simply too fresh still to know how it'll scar#should've taken progress pictures to monitor healing but was too scared others would accidentally see it#didn't want to traumatise folks#honestly was genuinely tempted to take one (1) photo of the more recent one and post on my secret sh tumblr but i talked myself out of that#anyway im fine#personal#puddleglum hours#yesterday dad hugged me and patted my arm and it was LITERALLY directly on top of the fresher one but i was able to Not flinch#fun fact: when you go that deep it is in fact Less painful than a few layers shallower#which i found to my own concern the first time and was freaking out thinking id done something nerve-related#anyway yes i really am fine prommy#fessed up to my doc about self harming anyway#and technically unless muscle is involved it is clinically described as superficial#(fat layer is the one where they will nearly always consider sutures necessary but some shallower will be dependent on how much they gape)#but also because of how much blood there is every time you kinda have to spend longer making sure you're not gonna bleed all over everythin#so that also stops me bc oh it's nearly midnight i cannot devote like two hours or three to making sure i don't wake up in a puddle of bloo#(hyperbole)#anyway in some ways i find this funny. probably should be vaguely concerned. but eh
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Am Going To Lose My Shit :)
#froggie personal#yall tell me why I feel like shit rn#the POTS is handing my ass to me today#I felt like shit yesterday too but I foolishly thought that it was a one-off day#like I need to eat something cause my stupid ass PMS symptoms are making me hungry#which in turn makes my POTS flare up#but I'm also nauseous so I don't wanna eat cause throwing up is a No#and at work some mom complained to my boss (I teach swim lessons) cause I couldn't work with her kid very much#like I'm sorry that another parent came in with their kid WHEN THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO#AND HAD US TAKE HIM SO WE COULDN'T WORK WITH EVERYONE THE ENYIRE TIME#and your kid almost had a meltdown when you tried to out her in the water so pardon me-#-I didn't want to be a random stranger that dragged her into deep water and made her freak out#like jesus christ the kid is 2 I'm sorry that I didn't want to scare her away from the water but she's literally a toddler#and holy shit why am I so tired I've done legitimately nothing today#like I slept until 10 and conveniently missed my morning practice#only worked for an hour and emptied the damn dish washer#why did I have to lay down for an hour after work and now lay down again#and to top it all off my skin is acting up because of course it is#so now it's both dry as shit and super itchy#please I just need the shit to stop for a little bit
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh. having a bad time.
#I've been holding it together all day but suddenly everything is really getting to me#so sick of feeling like this. i want to be able to have a nice time and enjoy myself but i can't walk around for more than half an hour#without feeling so exhausted#and i saw my brother today and i was really trying not to let it get to me seeing him doing so well#and I'm really happy he's doing well it's not that i just get so jealous that he's able to do all the things he can#i thought I'd been doing well the last couple of weeks bit maybe i was just repressing because now i cant fucking breathe#and i miss the cats so much i know it's been literally a day but I'm so used to having them there all the time#i am so tired. i want to sleep. but I'm so sad#I'm so anxious and i feel like I'm being short with everyone and it's making everything really tense#i don't know what to do.#I've been looking forward to this week for ages and i knew it would have an impact on me but i didn't think I'd feel this bad#I'm just really upset i don't what the point of this is but i just need to get this out because i feel like imgoing to explode#i think I've been feeling triggered since yesterday but not purging it so my body has just been feeling it and then its all spilked over#i know it started in the car because the roads we took to get here are the ones i used to take for my hospital appointments
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i didn't immediately get a follow-up text saying someone i hung out with had a good time
#😔 my brain is sooooo annoying#i hope there is a Next Time™ though 🥲 i had a rly nice time and.. i don't have reason to Not think they didn't have a good time#👉👈 but ppl can b nice and still ghost u. i just hope that's not the case this time 😭 I've rly been hoping this friendship works out#and if it doesn't tbh I'll be SO upset about it 😭 like if this doesn't work then idk what will man#just give up and be a shut in who does god knows what all day because being a person is too hard#this is like the longest I've talked w anyone from tinder and the most I've actually carried conversation on discord#and we hung out yesterday for the first time and it Seemed good but i haven't heard from them today#and i feel dumb and silly for feeling this way..? being anxious and hopeful has a girl holding her breath all the time 😔#any step forward feels like my last ykwim? u do something simple and small but always feel like it's Too Much#and like Anything u do is enough to push or scare ppl away 😬 but no one will ever tell u what's wrong!!#so u don't know what u did or what to look out for or idk. it just makes u feel like literally everything and anything is Too Much#and like u shouldn't even try.. but u Should or else you'll be alone frfr. 😮💨 idk i feel crazy lol I'm gonna go grab a coffee n draw
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m so tired and angry i can’t believe it’s just the beginning....
#i cried 3 times since yesterday#my first exam is in 2 days#and the last one.. in a month.#it's not even about the exams tbh#but spending HALF of my monthly pay on train tickets and one (1) night at a hotel was a bit too much for me lol#and i had to make many calls to friends/family to find a place i could stay at#bc train tickets are so expensive i literally can't afford staying at the hotel too#and my friends were so helpful and lovely#but first i wanted to ask my uncle.. bc yk. close family. that guy is even my godfather. and he treated me like shit lmaoo i got so angry#i cried at work bc i couldn't believe this#like we know each other well i know he's not the kindest person. but his reaction?? honestly that might be the last time i talked to him#sorry for being so vague i don't have the energy to tell you what happened sdfghjs#but anyway. can you believe i'm literally less stressed abt the actual exams than i am about the commute/accomodation?#but ngl i am also stressed abt the exams. a bit. mostly because some of our professors still haven't sent us the materials for exams#and one of them in on sunday lmaooo this is fine i can memorize everything in one evening. right?#also bc my previous uni experiences literally traumatized me. but it's gonna be FINE i'm gonna be FINE i just need to. focus#i'm taking a day off tomorrow and i hope it will help me calm down#k.txt#sorry for losing my mind on main <3 if you've read this far i'm sending you a kiss <3
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i think things are okay but then i go through the most painful shit of my entire life i was like lil nas fighting for my gd life on that toilet
#i was both constipated and had diarreha and my stomach STILL feels a bit crampy#i had to use 2 seperate bathrooms for this shit i was completely naked literally dripping with sweat#idk why it feels harder to poop when the toilet seat is warm but i had to stop clean and flush 3/4 way through and switch toilets#don't make fun of me my name is hailey and i can't stop dumping ass#morning zoe sorry it stinks in there i can't stop dumping ass#not the ppl who haven't seen nightmare time not knowing about haley and her stomach problems#we stan ibs rep and sabotage in this hatchethouse#how am i supposed to birth a baby one day when i can't even deal with being regular sick#like i was vomiting yesterday today im having an at home colonoscopy
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
they should provide financial compensation for ppl who are sensitive to an unbelievable degree.
#being sensitive's actually immensely inconvenient + makes me feel incompetent. literally someone raises their voice at me i start tearing up#had a mini-discussion with my dad abt palestine and i was shaking all over the entire time it's so bad...........#not gonna go into detail bc he busts out the most islamophobic racist things and i don't want to say all that on here but we talked a littl#abt palestine and then a lot abt hamas bc that's at the forefront of every discussion now and uhm. well let's just say he is someone that#thinks reverse racism is real and also interrupts you all the time when he's having a conversation so u know how that went....i wish i'd#made the point i was trying to make come across clearer but he's so rooted in his own beliefs that's like a near impossible feat anyway no#matter how good u are at talking.#r.txt#also i woke up with a nosebleed today (had a nosebleed yesterday AND five days ago) and a pounding pressuring headache so that's gotten me#a little very concerned i'm not gonna lie...............like the headache has been persistent for the past two weeks and kind of feels like#something is pressing on my brain from the inside..#i wanna look up what might be causing it but i also don't want to because i always start imagining that the worst things they're suggesting#on there are the ones that are true......
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Today is the first day I've had any lasting free time and my brain is just. a rock. a smooth polished stone. I can't even get myself to read new fanfic now that I have the time, I'm just... sittin here
#dear diary#i accomplished my lofty morning goal of watch mlc so i can backread tumblr#and it was all downhill from there#we like to watch tv we don't like to do literally any other possible imaginable task on this green earth#i keep moving between rooms and devices hoping it will shake something loose#now i am trying to post through it#i realized this makes it sound like i'm doing all this just to get to read fic kdjd i have actual commitments and responsibilities i swear#it's jsut the fact that i can't EVEN read or comment on fic rn that has me like. come on. brain let me live#okay yesterday saw a gifset of that scene where kinn is like porsche watch me start a fire fire is hot and polite like me just you wait#his futile attempts at smacking stones together to create a spark is how my brain feels ykwim#where is the giggling porsche who can hand me the lighter he's had this whole time.... pls.... i'll uncuff us both this second i PROMISE
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
So because I'm on antidepressants now I'm apparently not allowed to have any bad days. Like, not sure how to explain that that's not how it works and that ignoring me and refusing to speak to me isn't going to help.
#vent post#personal#I'm just fucking tired today and need a distraction because yesterday sucked#i just wanted to go to a bookstore or a garden center for my birthday and instead i had to sit in silence while my partner played games#for literally the entire day while not speaking to me because they were concentrating#and half the time they wanted the lights off because the gets dark at times and they refuse to adjust the settings#so i couldn't even crochet or read without leaving the room which just made them whine about it later#and i know i don't expect anything anymore for my birthday but being ignored by the one person who promised to never do so hurts#it's like being a kid again and getting told that you're not important and that everyone else gets to dictate what you do on your day#when everyone else got treated like royalty on theirs#i sit at home all day every day with no one to talk to so it's not much to want to have some kind of interaction#and yeah I'm literally complaining about nothing but it hurts so much sometimes to be reminded that I'm not really worth much#i did get some presents and one way really nice#but to immediately after just be left alone and forgotten kind of makes me wish they had just actually forgotten#to top it off the night ended with my estranged family trying to text a different family member about how they forgot again to send a card#immediately followed by oops you weren't supposed to see that because we love and care about you#like please stop and just leave me alone#i don't want anything from you guys ever again because you expect too much in return#and i remember the shit you used to say about and to me and the blame you laid on me#just stop pretending like you care and leave me alone#so today is just hard for stupid reasons and i don't really have a reason for being super depressed but i am#and getting mad that I'm crying isn't going to help#i need a distraction and can't have one and just can't cope#might go buy myself something nice off ebay to try and feel better but also the present i bought myself got stolen so maybe i won't
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
sad about waypoint hours :(
#in honor of waypoint i will live every day like it's deduesday#austin reading that tweet made me laugh so hard i dropped a full cup of sprite on the kitchen floor#the movie watch-alongs had me in hysterics. and also just I loved the podcast i loved reading the articles it just sucks.#I have never laughed harder at a stream than the time they ran out of fuel during a race on motorsport manager#and savepoint... truly a swift kick of hope during some dark fucking times#i was kinda late to the waypoint party i think i started getting into it in 2019ish#and I'm not a discord or forums person so I won't be part of that community going forward and. I'm gonna miss it.#anyway catch me at seven in the morning in the chat for kotc tomorrow. i am making this post so that I don't bring the mood down over there#that's not even mentioning THE pride & prejudice analysis of all time from be good and rewatch it—#god and the whole thing where rob broke his stove. feels like just yesterday he was comparing himself to jesus on stream.#there's nothing i can say that hasn't been said better by smarter people but. i will miss waypoint. shoutouts for making me get into#disco elysium and also processing my feelings on fallout four and literally all the work everyone involved did.#gonna have a little cry and then wake up and watch the stream. gamers we just gotta keep on trucking.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The weather is absolutely impossible. Yesterday it destroyed my new umbrella i had to walk to the hotel from class 15 minutes in the pouring rain no umbrella, now I have to get to the train station it starts raining really heavily like flood material raining everything is completely covered in water like a lake really deep puddles my boot is completely filled with water I'm only dry from the waist up bc the rain is coming from all sides and the wind is really strong and now I get here worried I wasn't gonna make it in time bc the weather made it impossible to walk and my bags were insanely heavy and were really straining my legs and my train is AN HOUR late and in the morning it was apparently over 2h so now I'm fucking stuck here and my boot is filled with water this is such bullshit. I fucking hate winter
#Also I don't have that much battery... I have my laptop but no wifi there#wow anna said something#Thank God I don't have a test rn bc I wouldn't make it on time due to their clownery 😍😍#And I still have to come back on Thursday for an extra lab class bc they completely dropped the ball scheduling that one#And catch another train on Friday to similar results.... Someone pls just end my misery#We should literally be allowed to do at home classes when the weather's this shit and dangerous... Like my brothers in christ#Did you not see what happened in Lisbon last week?? Why are you putting ppl at danger forcing them to go out in these conditions#I'm surprised I don't have a cold yet I'm always soaking wet#And my hair yesterday was literally a birds nest from walking in the rain...
3 notes
·
View notes