#Like— yeah. There is quite a difference between

[astonmartinii]

doing business with family | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem hadjar reader

brother and boyfriend in the same sport? nothing has ever gone wrong when doing business with family... right?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, pepemarti and 307,377 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & isackhadjar

yourusername: max will officially become my second favourite f1 driver this weekend

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user1: watched isack’s f2 radio highlights in preparation for this weekend … yeah they��re defo siblings

user2: i know they’re parents had a HANDFULL with them growing up

user3: lmao just ask george in abu dhabi or lando in austria, y/n knows how to make her point KNOWN

isackhadjar: omg i beat max in something!

yourusername: come on bro have some faith in yourself - you can defo beat max in singapore at least

maxverstappen1: rude?

yourusername: you know i hate singapore in solidarity babe?

isackhadjar: and that’s crazy because she loves the glitter helmets

yourusername: i really do

user4: get you a couple that measures their love by glitter helmets?

user5: y/n is so real for that though, i’d fuck seb’s glitter helmets

yourusername: right well i don’t love them quite THAT much

charles_leclerc: slides £5 across the table isack please take max out, he won’t hate you

isackhadjar: no?

landonorris: WHY NOT

isackhadjar: i want to keep my job and actually score some points

yourusername: you people done harassing my brother?

maxverstappen1: do we have a problem?

isackhadjar: they’re being mean, they’re trying to PEER PRESSURE ME

charles_leclerc: i don’t think i was peer pressuring you

charles_leclerc: it’s bribery, god get it right

maxverstappen1: i think you should watch it

yourusername: say something like that to him again frenchie and your ass is grass

user6: omg romance ❤️‍🔥

redbullracing

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 823,081 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, yukitsunoda0511 & liamlawson30

redbullracing: red bull vs rb on pop culture trivia… max and isack were unstoppable - we might have to split them up next time

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user7: now i wonder where max and isack got their real housewives knowledge from …

user8: this has y/n hadjar written all over it

user9: if i remember rightly y/n was asked by some interviewer in the paddock who she’d like to see as a paddock guest and she said LISA RINNA?

user10: i knew i stanned the right queen

isackhadjar: not our fault that liam and yuki aren’t caught up with all the fresh news

maxverstappen1: we’re bonded cats i don’t think they have the power to separate us

redbullracing: it’s a trivia game…

maxverstappen1: THAT’S MY BABY BROTHER

redbullracing: YOU GUYS AREN’T EVEN MARRIED YET?

yourusername: looks like admin just lost their invite to the wedding…

redbullracing: yOU AREN’T ENGAGED?

yourusername: i guess you’ll never know

user11: no way they just teased their engagement in an argument over media duties?

user12: you’re shocked? this is quintessential them

user13: and they’re adding in their little rabid mini-them? i fear f1 is actually not ready

liamlawson30: so when do we get to do cars trivia? or is it all set up for them to win?

yourusername: just say you’re uncultured…

maxverstappen1: get a new personality trait bro

liamlawson30: omg why are you guys on my neck so hard?

maxverstappen1: funny

liamlawson30: this is so not fair why didn’t you guys defend me like this last season?

yourusername: that’s my flesh and blood dude

isackhadjar: duh!

maxverstappen1: i am so in love with y/n i just do what she says, do let it be known that if isack was not related to y/n he would be just another stray cat to me

isackhadjar: sure i’ll take it!

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, isackhadjar and 839,023 others

maxverstappen1: we had the chance to extend our championship lead but with two optimists behind you anything can happen…

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user21: LMAO THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS AND THE LAST POST

user22: isack probably teared up in the stewards room and max crumbled

user23: i mean on his radio as soon as GP said it was isack max was immediately like ‘is he okay?’

isackhadjar: sorry max!

maxverstappen1: no worries buddy, you can pay me back with room service

isackhadjar: so our move marathon is still on?

maxverstappen1: don’t be dumb - obviously!

maxverstappen1: i need my second in command to help defend my snacks from y/n

yourusername: you guys aren’t supposed to have those snacks i’m doing you a favour !!!

isackhadjar: sureeeee

yourusername: i can call your trainers up if you want?

maxverstappen1: NO WE’RE OKAY

user24: esteban ocon is not okay seeing this tomfoolery

user25: yeah yeah yeah it’s all fun and games but that’s legit his baby brother of course he wasn’t going to cuss him out

user26: exactly! he’s been with y/n for like four years? of course he was concerned about isack’s safety than his race

landonorris: i’m not surprised, just disappointed

maxverstappen1: why?

landonorris: I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND AND YOU STILL AIRED ME OUT ONLINE?

maxverstappen1: first of all y/n is my best friend

maxverstappen1: second of all isack is my baby brother

maxverstappen1: third of all you’re annoying

yourusername: heavy on number three

landonorris: i GIVE UP WITH YOU PEOPLE

user27: i love watching max and y/n making people crash out in instagram comments

user28: couples that terrorise together, stay together

georgerussell63: interesting ….

yourusername: you wanna say something

georgerussell63: suddenly not anymore

maxverstappen1: LMAO

yourusername

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 459,034 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, isackhadjar & pepemarti

yourusername: bond a little bit stronger than a lil crash in a formula one race

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user29: if they don’t get married and live happily ever after i might just sue them

user30: so real

user31: they’re my parents and i can’t go up to four christmasses

redbullracing: that was millions in damage

yourusername: you gonna invoice me for it?

redbullracing: no?

yourusername: then get the fuck out of my comments this is a wholesome post

user32: why is pepe here?

pepemarti: i am just as much part of the hadjar family as max

maxverstappen1: well that’s just factually incorrect

pepemarti: nuh uh

maxverstappen1: ??? i’m marrying in? what are you doing?

pepemarti: i’m mama hadjar and y/n’s favourite so divine intervention

maxverstappen1: @yourusername please dispell this nonsense

yourusername: look at his lil face …

pepemarti: :p

isackhadjar: i’ll be clear i am not marrying pepe

pepemarti: that’s not what you told me the other day :(

user33: can someone make a chart this is all a bit confusing now

user34: i don’t think anything is helping with this chaos

maxverstappen1: i love you forever and ever, even if your brother puts me in the wall <3

yourusername: awww i love you too bubs

maxverstappen1: but i am your favourite though?

yourusername: don’t tell them but yes!

isackhadjar: these are public comments?

pepemarti: i’m legally blind now

fin.

note: a quicky i wrote during the super bowl lol - hope you enjoy xx

[my-castles-crumbling]

hair - february 10 - black brothers - @black-brothers-microfic - word count: 425

“Hey, Sirius?” Regulus asked, quite sure he was going to pass out.

He’d been building up to this for weeks. Talking himself up to this moment, sending letters to Pandora and Dorcas and Evan and Barty, trying to get the courage to speak his mind. But he was terrified. Sirius was the only family he had left, and if he hated him….but he also wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep quiet.

Sirius, completely oblivious, stared at the chessboard in between them and pointed at a few pieces, whispering to himself, before murmuring, “Yeah?”

“What…” he swallowed and steeled himself, “what would you do if I cut my hair short?”

His brother’s eyes flickered up to him once and back down to the pieces. “Nothing. I mean, you’d probably look a bit like a boy, but I’d get over it. Why?” He picked up a pawn and moved it.

Regulus let out a shuddering breath. “What if…what if I wanted to look like a boy?” he asked, gnawing at his lip so roughly he tasted blood.

This time, when Sirius looked up, his eyes lingered. “What? Why?” he asked, his voice not judgemental, but curious.

Gods, he was going to make him spell it out. Regulus looked away, stomach roiling. “Because I…” he swallowed again, wanting to melt into the floor. “Because I am….a boy,” he answered, voice barely a whisper.

There. He’d said it.

For what felt like forever but was probably only a few seconds, Sirius said nothing. But he nodded and cleared his throat. “Alright, then. It’s your turn, yeah?”

Regulus met his eyes and gaped. “It’s-what?”

“It’s your turn. I’m about three moves away from slaughtering you, mind,” Sirius repeated, completely casual.

“Did you just hear what I said?” Regulus demanded, sure he was dreaming.

“Yeah, I mean…not much for me to say about it, yeah? I start calling you my brother and- oh! You probably want a different name, yeah?” Sirius rambled, still completely unbothered. “But other than that, it’s whatever you want. Just tell me what to do to help and I’ll do it,” he shrugged. “After I beat you in this game, of course.”

He took a long time to digest that before replying. “Regulus,” he mumbled. “Hmm?” Sirius hummed, distractedly looking at the chessboard again.

“My name’s Regulus.”

“Alright. Regulus, then. Make a move so I can kill your king, yeah? Then we can cut your hair and do whatever else you need,” Sirius grinned.

And, giving his brother a small, relieved smile, Regulus moved his queen. 

Note: obviously being trans/transitioning is much more than just a haircut. this is just one small optional facet.

[baphometsss]

I'm also going kind of insane over the romance description for Solas in the customise Inquisitor section of the CC. Like what do you mean 'even the Dread Wolf did not know what it would mean to fall in love'?? I'm frothing at the mouth!!!!

I mean, now it's had a few months to stew, it actually makes perfect sense. Solas doesn't seem to forge relationships in the same way as an elf as he did as a spirit. We know he loved Mythal and Felassan, but his relationships with both had rather different dynamics. Mythal had known him for the longest, and understood his spirit nature better than anyone. They spent a long time reflecting each others' spirits back and forth. Felassan we can assume was another Wisdom spirit (going by his eye colour), which once again tracks because Solas seems to connect with other Wisdom spirits very intensely. Nonetheless, there's a distance between them; they need each other and they share a common cause, and although Solas loved Felassan dearly, he was still able to kill him in The Masked Empire.

However, the thing that these two relationships have in common is that they both relate to Solas's spirit-self. All the dynamics are some kind of echo of how he behaved and related as a spirit. The person he is at the beginning of DAI is who he has been for a very long time. He is, despite everything, a little stagnant.

With the Inquisitor, he literally doesn't have a choice but to change, to connect not just as a spirit but as a man. Prior to that though... remember how spirits are asexual, like Cole is if you don't make him more human? Yeah. I don't doubt that Solas had physical relations with others after manifesting, but I think the feelings would've been absent as he doesn't connect romantically with them; a legacy from his spirit self, which he clings to dearly.

Weirdly enough, I think that this lack of romantic or relationship experience is what the romance in Inquisition actually hinges on. He's only able to take that chance specifically because he doesn't know what romantic love feels like. He may be a manifested Wisdom spirit, but this is something that must be experienced to be understood. He takes the chance in the end because he doesn't know how deeply it will affect him. Also as Wisdom, he can't help but be curious anyway. Clearly he underestimated how much of an impact it would have on him. He didn't expect to be known and loved so fully for who he was, after a life of being forced away from his purpose, who he truly wanted to be. To be given the space to exist as Wisdom is one thing, and certainly it would've been enough for him to maintain his love for his friends in the Inquisition alone, but to be loved for it? To be able to express these new, very earthly and yet somehow still spiritual feelings of love? Everything lining up, singing the same? Things he could never have experienced as a spirit? It's a union of the spirit and body that he likely never felt before. That has to have been overwhelming, a beautiful gift he never expected to receive. 'In all Thedas I never expected to find someone who could draw my attention from the Fade'--quite literally, 'I never thought I would want such an earthly thing'. I'm not surprised he almost threw away his plans for it. It's like a whole new world opening up.

It also makes his 'I would not have you see what I become' line more poignant. He doesn't want this beautiful, unique thing he's found to be marred by the actions he will take. He doesn't want his heart to see the wounds in his soul. So when the Inquisitor says they want to join him, it literally stuns him. When he warns them that he's got a lot of terrible things waiting for him in the Fade, it's his last, weak attempt to make them reconsider before they see the wounds on his soul laid bare. By responding that it won't be so bad if they're with him, the Inquisitor is also saying that being together will heal him, that those wounds will not be so terrible when shared.

That line from the elven poem Trick wrote from Solas to Lavellan: 'do not be sad, my heart, our love's endurance is a blessing, our love will be our joy' everything is so new to him brb crying :'<

[insidekatmind]

You’re mine-Joao Felix

Request: yes!

It's a sunny day, and the two of you are sitting in the park, just like always, talking about everything and nothing. João looks at you with a smile that seems too sweet, too full of emotions he's no longer able to hide. You've known each other for years, but lately, there's a strange tension that you can't ignore. It's not like before, when everything seemed simple between you two. Now, every time you talk about your boyfriend, you notice a slight tinge of jealousy in his eyes.

"So, how is he?" João asks, his tone a little too cold to be casual. His eyes drop for a moment, then look back at you, fixed on you.

"Yeah, he's doing well. We made plans for tonight," you answer, trying to sound natural, but you immediately notice how João shifts in his spot, as if the idea of you spending time with someone else is burning him inside.

"It seems like things are going well, huh?" João says, but there's something in his voice that you can't quite decipher. His hand absently brushes the grass, and his gaze drifts off into the distance.

"We're getting along, yeah," you reply, trying to keep your tone neutral. But when you meet his eyes, there's something strange in them, a mix of affection and something that makes your chest tighten.

"Well," João starts, trying to downplay it, but his smile is tense, "you should be happy with him. You're a special person, Y/N. You deserve nothing less."

Your mind is confused. What is he trying to say? There's something João hasn't told you, something that now seems clear between the lines. In another moment, you would have ignored his tension, but today you can't. His voice sounds different, as if he's trying to mask his pain behind an apparent kindness.

"João, is something wrong?" you ask, trying to figure out what's behind his behavior. He smiles weakly, but his eyes don't lie.

"Nothing's wrong," he quickly responds, but his gaze betrays a truth he doesn't want to admit. The tension between you two grows, palpable, like a storm approaching.

"Are you sure?" you insist, feeling the need to understand. João pauses for a moment, then moves a little closer, as if he wants to say something, but then stops again, unsure.

"Y/N," he starts slowly, "I've always wanted the best for you, and I know you've found it with him. But..." he pauses, his breath shortening. "It hurts to see you with someone else. I don't know how to tell you, but... it's not easy for me."

The world around you seems to freeze as those words pierce your heart. You don't know how to respond, because something inside you, something you hadn't noticed before, has awakened. Your friendship with João has always been a constant, but now there are emotions that go beyond simple friendship.

You move closer to him and caress his cheek. João's gaze flutters for a split second, surprised by your affectionate gesture. The moment your fingers touch his cheek, his expression softens, and he closes his eyes, as if savoring the touch he's been craving. You can feel his skin under your fingertips, warm and inviting.

You hug him gently and lean against his chest. João's body tenses briefly, as if trying to resist, but he can't help but surrender. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer, and you feel his body against yours, the warmth of his chest against your cheek. He buries his face in your hair, inhaling softly, as if trying to memorize your scent.

You sigh softly before speaking. "Why didn't you tell me before?" you whisper into his chest. João's hand slides from your back to your hair, running his fingers through it. He takes a long breath, holding you tight against him.

"I didn't want to ruin your happiness," he replies, his voice a soft murmur. "I watched you with him, and even though it hurt me, I saw how happy you were. I thought I could keep it inside, that it would pass. But it didn't."

You sigh softly and cling to him. “Yes but I am happier with you” you whisper softly. João's heart skips a beat upon hearing your words. His fingers pause for a moment, and his hold on you tightens slightly, as if he's afraid this moment will slip away. He pulls away slightly, just enough to look into your eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asks, searching your gaze. There's a vulnerability in his eyes, a mix of hope and fear. “Yes,” you whisper and lean closer to him, kissing the corner of his mouth.

João's breath catches in his throat at the feel of your lips on his skin. His fingers tense briefly on your waist before pulling you even closer. The desire he'd been trying to ignore suddenly flares up, and he can feel his heart pounding wildly in his chest."Y/N," he whispers your name like a prayer, his voice hoarse with suppressed emotions.

He closes his eyes for a moment, gathering whatever courage he has left. Every reason, every logical thought that told him to stay away from you, to respect your relationship, it all disappears like smoke in the wind.His hand cups your cheek, and his touch is gentle but firm, as if he needs this connection more than air. His eyes open, and the mixture of want and fear is there, plain as day."Do you know what you're doing to me?" he murmurs, his thumb brushing your skin.

Your eyes meet his, and the intensity in his gaze makes you shiver. You know you're stepping into uncharted territory, crossing a boundary that's been there for years. But at this moment, none of that matters. The only thing that matters is the feeling of João's touch, the sound of his breathing, the desire that's been building between you.You raise your hand, placing it over his chest, feeling the rapid thumping of his heart. "Yes," you reply softly. "I know exactly what I'm doing."

João's breath catches in his throat as your hand on his chest makes his heart beat even faster. His grip on you tightens, his fingers digging into the fabric of your clothes. The way you look at him, the confidence in your eyes, it both enthralls and terrifies him.He swallows hard, his gaze never leaving yours. "You'll drive me crazy, you know that?" he murmurs, his voice thick with desire.

You smile, a sly, confident smile. "Maybe that's my plan."João groans softly, the sound low in his throat. The way you're teasing him, the way you're testing his self-control, it's both maddening and alluring.His hand slips from your waist, moving up to your face. He gently cups your chin with his fingers, tilting your head back slightly. "You're playing with fire, you know that?" he whispers, the heat in his gaze searing.

You tilt your head back, meeting his gaze unflinchingly. "Maybe I don't mind getting burned."The words hang in the air, heavy with an implication that you both know all too well. The tension between you is palpable, a thin line you're both toeing dangerously.João's hand moves from your chin to the back of your neck, his fingers playing with the soft hairs at your nape. His thumb brushes against your lower lip, the contact sending a jolt of electricity through your body.

"You shouldn't say things like that," he murmurs, his voice a low rumble. "I'm already barely holding back as it is."His thumb continues its ministrations on your lip, tracing the shape of it, as if he can't help himself."You're a temptress, you know that?" he whispers, his gaze fixed on your mouth.

You smile and bring his finger into your mouth sucking on it. Joao's breath catches in his throat as you take his finger into your mouth, a low moan escaping his lips. The act is so intimate, so wanton, that he can feel himself coming undone.

"Y/N," he whispers harshly, his chest rising and falling with ragged breaths. "You're playing a dangerous game."His other hand tightens its grip on your waist, pulling you closer so you're practically on his lap.

You smirk around his finger, your tongue swirling around it in a way that has him groaning again. The sight of you like this, so confident and brazenly sexy, is driving him crazy. He's trying desperately to keep control, but every flick of your tongue, every subtle movement of your body is eroding his restraint.His hand on your waist slides down, gripping your hip, his fingers digging into the flesh. He pulls you even closer, his body pressed against yours, and the heat between you is palpable.

You release his finger with a soft pop, your gaze never leaving his. The smirk on your face is now a full-blown smile, one that borders on dangerous. You love seeing him like this - torn, vulnerable, wanting you so desperately."What if I want to play that game?" you whisper, your voice a sultry purr.Joao's eyes darken, the hunger in them a barely contained beast. He leans closer, his lips brushing your ear. "Careful," he warns, his words a hot breath on your skin. "You might get more than you bargained for."

Your heart pounds furiously in your chest, the threat in his tone only exciting you further. The thrill of defying him, of pushing his limits, is intoxicating.You lean in, your mouth against his jaw, your lips softly trailing kisses along his skin. "Maybe that's exactly what I want," you whisper back, your voice sultry and bold.Joao's grip on your hip tightens, his body tense with the effort to restrain himself. He tilts his head to the side, giving you better access to his neck, a silent permission for you to continue.

You take advantage of his surrender, kissing and nipping at his neck until a low groan escapes him. His fingers dig into your flesh, his breathing ragged and uncontrolled."You're driving me insane," he breathes, his voice strained with desire. "You're gonna be the death of me."Your hands slide up his chest, feeling the taut muscles beneath his shirt, the quick rhythm of his heart. Your mouth continues its assault on his neck, leaving a trail of kisses and little bites that make him shiver.

It's getting difficult for him to think, with your mouth on his skin, your body against his, teasing and torturing him in the most delicious ways. He grabs your jawline, forcing you to look at him."Enough," he growls, his eyes dark with a mixture of arousal and command. "I can't take this anymore."He stands up abruptly, pulling you up with him, his grip on your arm firm but not harsh. He's lost all patience, and he needs you now.

You smile and kiss him. Joao doesn't waste a heartbeat. As soon as your lips meet, he kisses you back with a fierce intensity. There's a hunger there, an almost desperate need, as if he's been waiting for this moment.His hands grip your hips, pulling you tightly against him. His body molds to yours, as if every contour, ever curve was made for him. The kiss is deep, possessive, as if he's marking you as his own.

You respond to his passion with your own, your body arching into his. Your hands grip the front of his shirt, holding on as if your life depended on it. You can feel the heat radiating from his body, the way his muscles tense under your touch.The kiss is primal, a raw display of desire that neither of you can control. His fingers tangle in your hair, pulling your head back as his mouth moves from your lips to your jaw, your neck, down to your collarbone. Every touch of his lips against your skin feels like fire. His hands are everywhere, roaming your body, pulling you closer, demanding more. You can feel his possessive need in the way he touches you, the way he commands your body with his.Joao pushes you back against a tree, his body trapping you in, his hips pressing against yours. His mouth returns to your throat, his tongue trailing a heated path along your skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake.

Your fingers clutch the bark of the tree, desperately searching for something to hold onto, as your body responds to every touch, every kiss from Joao. His hands are under your shirt now, roaming over your bare skin, his touch leaving a trail of fire.

"You're mine," he breathes against your neck, his voice a low rumble of possession. "You've always been mine, and I won't share you anymore."

[arliaeien]

This makes me think about my evolution as a writer.

My first long fic, as a new writer, I used to consider a chapter done around 2k~2,5k words. That's around 10 pages in Word.

Rewriting this same story one year later, it grew between 3,5k~5k. At the same time, as a reader, I was enjoying more and more the longer chapters (between 5k~10k).

There had been a long time while I only was writing one-shots, then engaging as a beta reader, making translations... To sum up: not writing stories, and even less, ones needing me to arrange a new story in different chapters.

Some years ago, I dedicated myself to the rewriting of my first story (the last I've done) and had those quite big chapters (around 7k), I was happy with, and that didn't make me think, except that one time, I had to cut one too big in two smaller ones. Those chapters were in no way a 'one idea, one chapter' thing like. The cuts were rather happening when there was a change about the place, and/or time passing.

And when I started writing the sequel of this 80k story, about the characters meeting monthly, I just wrote a one-shot for every month. Whatever it was 10k, 20k or even 30k.

It's not written in English and the fandom was almost dead for the last ten years. There were no readers (think like 30 hits in five years on AO3). So why should I have cared? The big one-shot was what I personally prefer.

Came year 2021. New fandom, existing fan base in English, no one in my mother tongue. And I've gotten this idea of post-canon story. One, nobody had done before me. Or rather, nobody had done it, the way I wanted it to be. It's this that has triggered me trying to write in English. ...probably succeeding, at some point. It is a 70k, in the end.

First long story in a while, whatever the language was different, I've kept the same tastes and methods, reflecting over the construction of the story, and ended up having chapter between 5k~7,5k. My goal was quite easy : three main ideas / scenes making one chapter. Providing long chapters to readers was what's important to me, because that's what I love myself.

Up to these last years. I'm working on a monster story (156k ongoing \o/). I didn't have any plan, starting writing it. My first chapter was a two-big-scenes, around 3K words, which I consider cool enough. Second chapter... was happening later, somewhere else. And I ended up having four-big-scenes, 7k words. Yeah, could cut this in two parts. Except number 3 was 3-big-scenes and 5k words. Go tear your own hair out. This was difficult to me. I couldn't work with chapters with sizes so different. It wasn't me. It didn't feel good. I couldn't see how anyone could actually enjoy such variations. How could it be considered otherwise than "Oh yeah, one long/short chapter!" / "Oh no, one long/short chapter!" depending on the reader's taste.

How long is not the point. REGULARITY was the point.

So my badly proportionate 'chapters' became 'arcs'. And every arc, was cut around 1,5k words. One idea, two maximum, and cut! I loved this. Writing fanfictions about one manga whose chapters were arranged to form arcs, it felt like respecting the canon better. Felt great!

...well, I was still myself. My goal of going between 1,2k~2k words for one chapter become 1,5k~2k. Then 2,5k. Today, I'm a little annoyed proofreading, having to fight against myself for some of them not going over 3k. Not too bad, but not what I wanted.

This to say: I'm living a paradox. The way I publish this story wouldn't suit me as a reader. 1,5k or even 2k a week is to me desperately slow.

I just can't. Re-reading some moments of the story for pleasure, or working on it, I usually go with 3 of them. Sometimes 4. All by instinct, not caring whether it's an arc or crossing two or more of them. Because the 5k~10k is what work for me as a reader :P

So, what's my point?

The ideal length doesn't exist. It's a matter of skill, and of feelings, but not only. My ideal length as a new writer was different from 2-years experience me, 5-years, 10-years, and now 18-years experience me. Sometimes I've cared about reader-experience, sometimes I haven't. I have loved the years producing the fattest one-shots. It's unrivaled freedom writing something. But even without arranging chapters, there were breaks, cutting scenes, the reader was able to breathe. And nowadays, publishing weekly for one year and a half, I use a format I wouldn't like myself but readers seems to enjoy (and that's strangely the same as the one I once used as a beginner : 2,5k per chapter).

...perhaps all this is a circle. ⚪

While looking for something else, I found an old ask I answered about "ideal chapter length" in terms of word count.

I've been asked this probably a dozen or more times, and each time I need to take a moment and adjust my thinking to take the asker's point of view into account. Because the thing is? The only time I ever try to factor the word count into how I write a story is when I'm aiming for a true drabble.

For whatever reason, this difference in thinking stuck with me today and I actually considered why that might be. And I think it's because I'm in my 40s and the first 25-30 years of my life, any stories I was reading were printed on paper and bound into physical books.

When I imagine a novel, I still think of a mass market paperback on my bookshelf. An average one would be maybe an inch thick, probably in the neighbourhood of 300 pages. A long one would be maybe as much as two inches thick and 500 or more pages long. A short one was always nice to have because it filled in the gaps in the shelf because 200 page books were so much narrower. Or so it seemed.

When I started posting my fic online, I still thought in terms of pages. I'd type them out in whatever word processing software I was using at the time, and I'd usually get a chapter's worth of ideas into 3 or 4 pages. Turns out that's about 1000 words, which makes sense with the number of 1000 word essays I wrote in high school. I'd been trained to encapsulate an idea into approximately that length.

And that's what it comes down to. The thing that always made that question seem weird to me. A chapter isn't about how many words there are in it, just like a cake isn't about how many cups of flour exist in each slice. A chapter is a an idea that helps make up a bigger idea called a story, and it needs to be however many words that idea needs to be to get it out.

[magma-frog0]

Miguel O'Hara x Fem!Reader Smut

Warnings: P in V, oral fem receiving, pheromone perfume, Miguel has sensitive senses, raw (wrap it b4 you tap it), semi plot with porn

Your best friend works in a lab making perfumes and other cosmetics, and sometimes she would be lucky enough to snag you a few free samples. She came to you and Miguel's shared home with a small bottle of roll on perfume saying things like "it smells so good!" and "it's our new formula, so it might be a little strong-" but you couldn't say no. She has never given you a bad product so why would she start now?

After your friend left you decided to take a whiff of the new perfume. When you smelt it you realized that it wasn't too strong and that the smell was actually quite pleasant. You decided to roll on some of the perfume on your neck and chill out on the couch until your husband gets home.

Miguel comes home everyday pretty late and extremely exhausted. You don't mind having nights where it's calm between the two of you, but he's been so stressed and tired lately that the both of you have barely had anytime in the bedroom together. He came in and slammed the door, taking a long look at you on the couch before going over and flopping down next to you. His head was nestled into your neck; he always did this when he came home, it gave him a sense of comfort being close to you like this.

"How was your day hun?" You asked and moved your hand to trail your fingers through his hair, gently massaging his scalp.

"Exhausting." He grumbled and took a deep breath, smelling your perfume. His movements stilled for a moment and took another deep ragged breath, "you smell... different." He growled out and pulled you closer.

You could feel your face heat as he pulled you closer, no matter how long you've known him, he still gets you flustered. "O-oh- yeah, my friend came over and got me some new perfume. It's just something light-"

"Light?" He asked cutting off your words, "you smell fucking amazing." He groaned out and pulled away from your neck. His face was surprisingly red, which was odd for such a stolid man. His chest was heaving, and he was looking at you with an unyielding desire. His hands went under your thighs, grasping them, and lifting you into his lap. His hands grazed your thighs up to your stomach then your breasts. He kissed and nipped at your neck, being careful not to break skin as he reveled in your gasps and moans.

"I thought you were tired-" you got out between moans as he gently laid you down on the couch. He looked down at you, and his pupils were so blown that his eyes were completely black with lust.

He pressed a needy kiss to your lips, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip as he pushed his tongue past your lips. His eyes were hooded, watching your expressions while he kissed you. He loved when your eyes fluttered and rolled back from his touch. He broke the kiss, "I haven't been giving you enough attention." He murmured before lifting the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head, and started kissing down your neck to your breasts. He sucked the skin around your nipple before sucking the sensitive peak into his mouth, his hand moved up and teased your other nipple with his calloused thumb.

Your head was tilted back in pleasure, your moans filled his sensitive ears which feed more into his desire. He let your nipple go from his mouth with a soft pop before kissing down to your stomach. He gently kissed the soft skin of your tummy and kept looking at you. "You're beautiful, mi amor," he groaned into your skin. You looked away from him for a moment; your face red with blush before he nipped at your stomach, pulling a gasp from you as he soothed the sting with his tongue, "keep your eyes on me, watch me pleasure you." He demanded as he pulled down your pants. He snapped the band of your panties, chuckling as he listened to your sharp gasp.

"Stop teasing-" you demanded weakly as he pulled down your panties, giving your inner thigh a gentle slap before pushing them apart.

"Just because I'm worshipping your cunt doesn't mean you can start making demands." He growled out before looking at your dripping pussy. He pushed himself between your legs, forcing your legs to rest on his shoulders. He started kissing your inner thighs, the warmth of his breath moving over your heated skin. He listened to your whimpers and pleas for him to give you what you wanted. "Don't rush me..." he murmured before pressing a kiss to your sensitive clit.

"Fuck!- Miguel-" you gasped out, still watching him between your thighs. His dark eyes were looking up at you for a moment from between your legs before he turned his attention back to your cunt.

His tongue gently licked at your soaked slit, taking in the taste of your arousal, "you taste even better than how you smell." He growled as he started lavishing your clit, licking and sucking until your back bowed to his face.

Your eyes were rolled back, and your mind was fuzzy with pleasure. "Miguel, I can't-" you gasped out as you teetered on the edge of your orgasm.

"Let go, hermosa, let me taste you." He coaxed between licks and felt your thighs clench as your cum soaked his mouth. He tasted every last drop and continued the flicks of his tongue on your stimulated clit causing you to cry out and try to push him away. He kept a firm grip on your hips, "don't push me away from you, mi amore." He grumbled as he finished cleaning the excess between your legs.

He pulled away and sat back on his haunches looking at how beautifully fucked out you were before stripping himself of his own clothes. He hovered over you gently moving your legs around his waist and lining the tip of his cock with your entrance, "deep breaths baby... it's been a minute..." he murmured into your ear as he thrusted into you.

"Oh god-" you moaned and leaned your head back. Your nails gently clawed at his shoulders and back as he started to fuck you in a slow and deep pace. His head went into the space between your neck and shoulders, leaving hickeys as he took in more of the perfume.

"Fuck-" he started and picked up the pace of his thrusts, "take it baby-" He grunted and his fingers dug into your thighs. He could feel your cunt squeezing his cock as you gasped and moaned.

"Miguel, I'm gonna-" you started before you were cut off by your own moans of pleasure. His cock ground against the spongey spot inside you that make you see stars. Your vision blackened as your cum gushed around his dick. He pulled his head from your neck to look at you while you came for him.

Your pussy pulsed and milked his cock with a relentless rhythm, "damnit hermosa-" he growled out as he pressed deeper into you. His head rested on your shoulder as his cock twitched. He felt you buck your hips up to meet his, and the restraint inside him snapped as he came inside you. His semen coated the inner walls of your pussy as he groaned and panted. He stayed lodged inside of you as he started to press kisses to your face and neck, "make sure to get more of that perfume..."

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Cho Sang Woo X F!Reader: A blast from the past

a/n: this was originally supposed to be a Gi hun x Sang-woo X reader but it became something else.

Warnings: smut, kissing, Sang woo being an ass, fluff, jealousy, fingering, penetration (p in v), mentions of attempted suicide, domish Sang woo, fighting, no use of y/n, not proofread, female reader

Word count: 3656 (holy moly)

Fate is a funny thing. Here you were, trapped inside a game of death with none other than your childhood best friends. You hadn’t seen them in ages but the moment you laid eyes on the two men you recognized them instantly. You raced over to them, a smile on your face as you watched the men's eyes widen in recognition.

“Oh my god! Sang-woo, look who it is!”

Gi hun wasted no time, immediately pulling you into a warm embrace. He smelled different then you remembered. The sugary scent that he had when he was a child was completely gone, replaced with a metallic scent that reminded you of coins. Gi hun pulled out of the embrace, his arms holding onto your shoulders as he turned to glance at Sang-woo with an easy smile. The other man gazed at you with an impassive expression. He had always had a sober look, even as a child. You smiled at him but he didn't return the gesture, opting instead to push his glasses up.

“What are you doing here?”

The emotionless tone in which he asked the question made a twinge of anger shoot through you. He sounded like he was judging you. 

“I could ask you the same thing, Mister SNU Business School graduate.”

Gi hun looked between the two of you, noticing the obvious tension. In a desperate attempt to stop this conversation before it became an argument, something that often happened when you and Sang-woo had any sort of interaction, Gi hun placed his hands on either one of your shoulders. You looked at him, your belly warming at the sight of his goofy smile. 

“Looks like we’re going to be playing some games. Should be fun right?”

You glanced at the doll at the edge of the room.

“I was always quite good at red light, green light.”

Sang-woo shrugged Gi hun's hand from his shoulder before silently moving away from the two of you. You scoffed at the action.

“What’s up his ass?”

“I think he’s embarrassed that you saw him like this.”

“But I'm in here too. And so are you.”

“Yeah well, I never had a promising future laid out for me.”

Your brows furrowed at his words but Gi hun just shrugged, as if he knew the affirmation was true.

“Plus, he always wanted to impress you. Even as kids.”

Before you could question Gi huns words a voice rang out through the room, telling you the games were about to begin. 

Your hands shook as you walked back into the dormitory. Blood stained your face and clothes. You looked like a zombie, stumbling around in silence until you reached your bed. You knew the boys had made it too, you’d gotten a quick glance at them as you walked back to the dormitory but you were far too out of it to do anything about it. Luckily you didn’t have to search for them. They found you instead.

You raised your head as a sudden darkness filled your field of vision. Sang-woo stood before you, his face covered in sweat. Somehow he’d managed to keep his glasses on during the game. He didn’t say anything, his eyes moving over the blood on your body. A shrill call of your name rang out from behind you, causing you to look over his shoulder. Gi hun raced towards you, pushing past Sang-woo so he could get to you. He kneeled before you, his hands moving to hold onto your face. 

“Are you okay?”

His eyes seemed to notice the blood for the first time, eyebrows raising with horror.

“Are you hurt? Did you-”

“It’s not hers.”

Sang-woos voice made the two of you look up at him.

“What?”

“The blood Gi hun. It’s not hers.”

Your lip started shaking. Before you could stop them the tears began flowing from your eyes. A small sob made its way from your lips, causing Gi hun’s head to snap back to you. He watched you with wide eyes for a moment before his hands moved to tug you into him. He pulled you to the floor, holding you in a fierce hug. 

“It’s okay. We’re okay.”

Sang-woo watched the exchange with a heavy heart. He watched the way your hands clawed at Gi huns jacket, desperately trying to cling onto something. He wanted to move but he didn't feel like he should. You were probably angry at him, he’d been a dick to you after all. He thought of moving away, leaving you and Gi hun to your tender embrace. But before he could turn around your voice ripped through the silence. You called out his name in a rough whisper, voice a barely contained sob. You hand moved from Gi hun’s jacket, extending it to him in invitation. Gi hun unclinged himself from your body, allowing him to look at Sang-woo. Sang-woo looked from your tear stained face to Gi hun's wide eyed expression and before he could stop himself he was sinking to the floor before you, allowing you to pull him into a tight hug. 

You were sitting on your bed, one of the boys on either side of you. Gi hun held one of your hands in his lap. Sangwoo’s gaze drifted to your hands ever so often, a small twinge of jealousy making its way into his mind. He didn’t know why he’d suddenly started caring about your caresses with Gi hun. Even as children you’d always been closer to the other boy, a consequence of Sangwoos cold nature. But now he wished you’d cling onto him the way you clung to Gi hun. The thought was ripped out of his head when the alarm sounded. 

During the whole voting process your hand remained glued to Gi huns. You watched player after player vote until finally it was Sangwoos' turn. You gave him a small smile as he walked over to the buttons. Your face dropped as you watched him press “O”. You could feel Gi hun's disappointment beside you but he pushed it down to whisper in your ear.

“It’s okay. We still have a chance.”

You nodded, eyes never moving away from the back of Sang-woos head. 

Your body crashed onto the harsh ground with a thud. You groaned as you tried to lift your body up. You couldn't see a thing and your body was bound at an awkward angle. You felt a pair of hands move against your face. You twisted away, a small shriek leaving your lips.

“Stop wiggling around.I’m trying to help.”

You recognized his voice instantly. A small part of you wanted to keep wiggling just to make his life harder, but the cold air on your body was becoming very uncomfortable so you stayed still. The moment both of you were free Sang-woo made his way over to his bag, pulling out his clothes. You stared at him in disbelief. He seemed to notice your eyes on him because he turned around.

“You should get dressed. You’ll get sick.”

You let out a scoff.

“Like you give a shit.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You voted to stay!”

You’d made your way over to him, hands moving to tug the bag out of his hand before throwing it at the floor. Sang-woo gave you a tired look.

“I’m really not in the mood-”

“Oh! I’m sorry! You’re not in the mood to listen to what a shit person you are?”

Sang-woo bit into his lips in anger, his head moving to look at the road.

“Don't look away from me!”

You hit his chest with all your might, something you would do when he’d pissed you off.

“What the hell were you thinking huh? People were killed! We were all going to die and you wanted to keep playing? For what? Some extra cash?”

“Extra cash?” 

He was angry now. You could tell from the look on his face, the way his lips became a small line as he spoke.

“That money would get rid of my debt!”

“It’s blood money Sang-woo!”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t think about it. I saw your face when they started to fill the piggy bank. You wanted it.”

You shake your head at him.

“You don't know anything about me. You never bothered to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means!”

Your face was so close to his that he could feel your breath on his skin. You were looking up at him with a scowl, your brows furrowed so intensely that the line on your forehead became very predominant. You’d only ever looked at him with such anger once before. He didn’t want to remember that day. His eyes shifted over to your body, gaze catching on the bare skin.He couldn’t help it, he’d always found you rather beautiful. He wanted to keep arguing but he was cold and tired. He knew you would keep this up all night if you had to. You were stubborn like that. So he did the only thing he knew would shut you up. He kissed you.

He tasted like cigarettes, his hands were cold as they grabbed onto your waist, pulling flush against his body. Your brain stopped working for a moment, the feeling of his lips was intoxicating but then you seemed to remember that you were mad at him. You shoved him off of you. Your face was flushed, chest rising and falling as you stared at him.

“You’re such a dick Sang-woo.”

With that you’d turned on your heels making your way to the bag that held your clothes. Sang-woo watched you rip it open, removing your clothes from inside before beginning to get dressed. He waited for a moment before beginning to get dressed too. 

Your shoulders shook as you walked down the road. You’d been giving Sang-woo the silent treatment ever since you’d both decided you would walk to the nearest convenience store so you could charge your phones. You kept up with Sang-woos pace but it was obvious you were having a hard time with the cold, not that you would ever admit it to him. Sang-woo stopped abruptly. You turned around to look at him.

“What are you doing? We're almost there.”

You watched him take off his suit jacket. He put his hand out to you, offering you the garment. You glanced at the jacket and then up at him. What was his deal? First he treats you like shit, then he kisses you and now he’s giving you his jacket.

“Take it. I know you’re cold.”

You're about to say you’re fine but a strong gust of wind blows causing you to shiver.

“Oh for fucks sake.”

Sang-woo makes his way to you, placing his jacket over your shoulders. You stare up at him as he drapes the jacket over your body. His glasses are slightly falling down his nose so you raise a finger to his face and push them up. He looks at you for a moment, surprised by the action. 

“Thanks.”

“You’re still an asshole.”

With that you start walking again, leaving Sang-woo behind with a shocked expression. 

It had been a day since you’d left the games. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t seem to stop thinking about that place. Or about Sang-woo. You hated to admit it but even since you’d seen him you’d been plagued by memories of your childhood. You had a crush on Sang-Woo when you were younger. It was hard not to be attracted to him. But as you two grew older he seemed to become more and more distant. One night you had a big fight. It was right before you’d gone off to college and neither one of you had spoken since then. That is until the games brought you back together. 

You stood in front of his door, a bag of takeout in your hand as the other moved to ring the doorbell. When there was no sign of an answer you rang again. You waited for him to come to the door but it seemed he wasn't home. With a disappointed sigh you began moving away. Your head snapped back to the door when you heard the lock click. 

Sang woo stared at you, his eyes moving to the bag in your hand before moving to glance at your face.

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought maybe you’d like some company…”

You looked at him, noticing the water that dripped from his pants.

“Did you fall into the bathtub?”

Sang-woo moved out of the way, not bothering to answer your question. You entered his apartment, being careful as to not slip on the watery floor. Sang woo trailed behind you in silence. He watched you remove the food from your bag, placing it on the table before turning to look at him. 

“You should probably change. You’re all wet.”

He looked down at his feet, watching the water drip from his pants. You watched him, worry filling your chest. You made your way to him. Sang-woo lifted his gaze from the floor as you approached him. The pitiful look you gave him made him feel pathetic. 

“Do you want me to help?”

He nodded slowly. 

“Okay.”

You moved your hand to his chest, slowly beginning to unbutton his shirt. Once you've managed to get all the buttons you reached beneath the cloth, pushing his shirt and jacket off in one go. The wet fabric landed with a dull thud on the ground. Your hand moved to his waistband, eyes gazing up at him through your lashes. The tension filled the air, making it hard to breathe. You moved slowly, afraid that any harsh move would make Sang-woo react negatively. You began to work on his belt but his hand stopped you. You looked up at him, searching for discomfort in his face. 

“Everything okay?”

He nodded, his hand moving to rest on your waist. You gasped as his cold hand made its way beneath the fabric, fingers skimming over the bare skin. He tugged your shirt up a bit, stopping only to look at you for confirmation that this was okay. You nodded at him, not trusting your voice. You lifted your arms, allowing him to tug your shirt off. He looked at you for a while, just talking in the sight of your flushed expression. One of his hands moved to trace your collarbone and you let out a breathy sigh. 

“Sang-woo.”

“Hum?”

“Please don’t tease.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

He was. But not on purpose. He was trying to remember every inch of your face. He needed to go back in time, even if just for one night. He wanted to feel like a teenager again. Young and unburdened. His hand moved to hold onto your face, fingers tracing your lips before he leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was gentler than the one he’d given you the night before. Your hands wrapped around his neck, tugging him closer. Your pants began to drench up the water from his as the two of you kissed. You pulled away to breathe and Sang-woo took it as a chance to kiss your neck. You gasped as his tongue moved over your skin. Your hands fumbled against his belt, tugging it off in desperation before moving to pull his pants down. His own hands found their way to your bottoms, pulling them off as well.

The two of you broke apart for a moment, panting as you took in the sight of each other. Your eyes traced over Sang woo's body, you’d seen it hours prior but the circumstances had been very different. You couldn’t help but rub your thighs together as your eyes caught onto his hard on. Sang-Woo's throat was suddenly dry. He’d been planning to kill himself moments ago, if you hadn't knocked he’d probably gone through with it. He pushed the thoughts down, trying to focus on the task at hand. There was a beautiful semi naked woman before him. He wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. 

With one long stride Sang woo made his way to you, kissing you with a newly found hunger. He pushed you against the wall, his lips swallowing your gasps. His hard on rubbed against your clothed cunt and you couldn’t help but moan. His hand moved down your body, fingers rubbing over your underwear for a moment before pushing it to the side. You gasped as his digits entered you, nails digging into the muscles of his back. The sound your pussy made as he fingered you was down right shameful but you couldn’t get yourself to care. Not when your body buzzed with your upcoming orgasm. Your mouth went slack as Sang woo shifted his hand, allowing him to enter his fingers even deeper. 

“I missed you.”

“You’re the one that didn’t keep contact.”

Sangwoo grumbled at your words, fingers curling into you.

“I- ah- had to find out how you-shit- were through your mother.”

He was moving at a rapid speed, his motions making the air leave your chest. 

“Gi hun was all over you.”

“What?”

The words caught you off guard. Here you were,in his apartment, with his fingers inside you. And he was talking about Gi hun.

“In the games. He was all over you.” 

“He was excited to see me. Unlike some people.”

Sang-woo stilled his movements at your words, making you whine.

“Why’d you stop?”

“You’re mine.”

“What are-”

“Say it.”

You looked up at Sang-woo with wide eyes. The pathetic puppy dong you’d found when you walked in was completely gone. Sang-woo was back and he knew exactly what he could do to you. Your walls clenched around his fingers as he waited for you to say what he wanted. 

“I’m yours.”

Sang-woo's neck twitched at your breathy voice. He crashed his lips onto yours, fingers moving inside you once again. Your moans became more and more high pitched. You were so close, your eyes began to roll back into your head, mouth becoming slack. Just as you were about to tell Sang-woo you were going to cum he removed himself from you completely. You wanted to yell at him. He'd brought you to the brink only to rip it away at the last second.

You moved forward, fully prepared to hit him but you stilled when your gaze fell to his boxers. He was incredibly hard. There was a small stain on the fabric you assumed was pre cum. You watched him place his fingers on the edge of his boxers, thighs rubbing together in anticipation.  In one smooth movement he tugged his boxers down, his dick slapping proudly against his stomach as he removed it from its continents. Sang-woo hissed at the feeling of the cold air on his dick. You stared at him without a twinge of shame. 

“Take your bra off.”

You didn’t even question it, immediately moving to unclasp the garment. Sang-woo made his way back to you, his hand moving to caress your breasts. You whined as he kissed your neck.

“Sang-woo please…”

“What is it, hum?”

“I need you inside me. Please fuck me.”

You could feel him smirk against your skin. This cocky bastard. You grabbed at his dick causing him to let out a moan. His head snapped up to look at you.

“I’m starting to lose my patience, Sang-woo.”

The look he gave you was comical. He was always in control but he’d forgotten just who he was dealing with.

“Either you fuck me right now or i’m leaving you to deal with this alone.”

“Oh yeah? And what about you huh? Gonna deal with this yourself.”

He grabbed at your cunt and you keened. 

“Don’t worry about me. I’m sure Gi hun would love to help.”

A growl left Sang woo's lips. In a blink of an eye he’d dragged your underwear down, his hands pushing you against the wall as he inserted himself in you. He didn’t give you a moment to breathe, his dick beginning to bully into you. All you could do was whine as his dick rammed into your pussy. You grabbed onto him, legs moving to wrap around his waist.

“Think Gi hun could fuck you like this? Think he could even compare to me? Answer me!”

“No! Sang-woo only you can fuck me like this. Please!”

“Good girl. You gonna cum? Gonna cream all over my cock?”

You were a babbling mess, your head nodding eagerly as your orgasm approached. You half expected Sang-woo to pull away again. It’s not that he didn't think of punishing you, the idea did cross his mind but the feeling of you wrapped around him was far too irresistible. And then if it couldn’t get any better you came. A shrill screech of his name made its way out of your lips as your juices counted his dick. Your body sagged into his, head resting on the crock of his neck. His hands moved to grab at your ass, allowing his thrusts to quicken. You whined into his neck, a slight feeling of overstimulation beginning to come over you. Sang-woo gave one last harsh thrust before his body stopped moving. You felt his side spill into you, coating your walls with ease. 

You removed your legs from his waist slowly. Sang-woo continued to pant, trying to recover from his orgasm. You pushed some hair off his face. He looked at you, his eyes full of an unexpected tenderness.

“Don’t leave me again.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Sang Woo. I’m right here.”

As if to prove your point you placed a loving kiss to his lips, forehead resting against his as silence filled the room.

[rosiecosy]

one song away୨ৎ

(joshua x reader)

the last thing you expected when you showed up to this concert was to hear a song about yourself.

the venue is packed, bodies swaying under the dim stage lights, voices blending into an excited hum. your friends had convinced you to come, promising a good time, a distraction—because you needed one. they didn’t know the real reason you hesitated.

they didn’t know he would be here.

joshua hong.

your ex. the man you loved and left when the weight of it all felt too heavy to carry.

months have passed, but the ache is still there, buried under forced smiles and half-hearted reassurances that you were fine. you told yourself you moved on. but when he steps onto the stage, guitar in hand, you feel like that lie is about to unravel.

he looks different. his hair is a little longer, his shoulders set with more confidence. yet, when he speaks, his voice is the same—soft, steady, and warm enough to melt the ice you tried so hard to build around your heart.

"this next one... it’s for someone i lost."

the audience quiets. your heart isn’t so lucky—it pounds in your ears, drowning out the noise.

"someone i never got to say everything to."

and then, the music starts.

you freeze.

the melody is unfamiliar, but the memories it pulls aren’t. every note, every chord—it feels like pages ripped from a story only the two of you shared.

late-night talks, stolen glances, whispered promises. the way he used to hum when he thought no one was listening. the look in his eyes the night you left.

this song is a confession.

and then, in the middle of it all—he sees you.

it’s just a flicker at first, a quick scan of the crowd. but then his eyes land on yours, and everything else disappears.

it’s been so long since you’ve held his gaze like this, without walls, without pretense. and in that moment, you know—he’s singing to you.

the final note fades, and the crowd erupts, but you barely hear it. all you hear is the way your heart is screaming at you to move.

so you do.

—

you don’t remember how you got backstage. you don’t remember slipping past security or murmuring joshua’s name to someone who must have recognized the desperation in your voice. all you know is that you’re here now, hands trembling as he steps into the hallway, eyes widening when he sees you.

"you came," he breathes.

you don’t know what to say.

he hesitates for a second, searching your face like he’s trying to solve a puzzle he never quite finished. "did you like the song?"

you let out a shaky laugh. "did i like it? joshua, that was—" you stop yourself, shaking your head. "it was us."

his lips press into a thin line. "yeah," he admits. "it was."

silence stretches between you, heavy with everything left unsaid.

finally, you whisper, "did you mean it?"

he exhales, running a hand through his hair. "every word."

your heart aches. "joshua—"

"do you regret it?" he interrupts, voice softer now. "leaving?"

your throat tightens. "i thought i was doing the right thing."

"and now?"

you swallow hard. "now i don’t know how to walk away again."

his breath catches, and for the first time tonight, you see it—the hope. the love. the part of him that never stopped waiting for you.

"then don’t," he says simply.

and when he reaches for your hand, this time, you don’t let go.

[cowboyidiot]

ok my thoughts on this aren't fully formed but to me it’s like yeah markhelly infidelity lol i love to joke but i think boiling it down to that doesn't really do the situation justice to me. mark didn’t want to sit with his own sadness so he quite literally created an entirely separate person who was born so he could both live a life without this crushing emotion and memory of his wife and turn himself off for 8 hours a day. 

and the thing is, it worked. yes, mark s experiences secondhand grief from his outie, but he doesn't remember gemma. that's not his wife. he already didn't want anything to happen to ms. casey, and he wants his outie to be happy, so he wants to help both of them once he finds out the truth, but he also feels something for helly that is entirely his own, not lumon's, and not his outie's. he was born to serve the agenda of both a company holding him hostage for labor, and an outie who is using him as means to an emotional end and he finally finds someone of his own. yes, of course there are similarities between him and outie mark but mark s doesn't have any memory of gemma and was quite literally created so mark could have a chance of escaping and moving on. he does. 

here's the thing though. outie mark reintegrated solely to see his wife. what a surprise it’s going to be for mark to have to live on with all the grief for gemma he was trying to hide from and suddenly be also drowning in grief from another life, another love, another betrayal. 

he has no idea mark s is reeling from helena's betrayal, not recognizing helly was missing, irving's death due to his blinding first love, and the anger helly is sure to direct at him for a situation he also feels horribly about. milchick even told him his innie found love! mark still viewed reintegration as his decision to make on a whim, not considering his innie's life and experience as something to seriously consider in his decision even though he was fully ready to leave mark s with "who is alive" burned on his eyelids and let him figure out how to get the answer to the outside with no help. the innies lives and emotions are inherently considered inferior. 

what happens, then, when suddenly the love that was a direct repercussion of his severance feels just as real as the grief he still hasn't managed to escape? i wouldn't categorize his relationship with helly/helena as infedelity, not only because reintegration seems to be a slow process mark s is only just starting to experience when he and helena have sex, but because mark s is not and was never married to gemma. his experience doesn't deserve to be relegated as purely an affair because his outie's emotional and personal life is validated and his is not. that isn't his wife. mark got exactly what he wanted from severing, he forgot gemma, and now he has to live with the consequence of emotional contradiction. 

this also paralells irving and helena's experience with their own innies, both of whom went into lumon with a specific agenda that blew up in their face (again, because they did not and do not consider their innies as fundamentally autonomous). the things outies believe are intrinsic to their personhood and lived experience, in mark's case his overwhelming devotion and love for his wife, are all turned on their head because this show is inherently about exploring the contradictions within personal identity and how those might manifest physically if these contradictions were housed in a single person's body.

you can't both create and destroy different choices, different versions of yourself, because you wish things were different and experience no consequences. the consequences are in direct response to his wish to forget gemma. in the end, it really is a double edged sword to reintegrate because mark is about to understand that every single thing he wanted out of severing he got, and he can’t turn his brain off again to avoid it. he wanted to forget gemma, and he did. he wanted to be happy and move on, even if it was as a different version of himself, and he did. he wants to see his wife? well now he has two of them. 

[hestzhyen]

"Geniuses" in Kagurabachi

We have three different kinds of "geniuses" in the series so far. It's causing some bullshit buzz about "talent" overriding hard work too, sadly. Each character has a different take on the concept, so let's take a short look since I'm going to have this in my notes anyway...

Chihiro

Type: Mimicry

The chapter that added Chihiro to a dozen bad faith "Talent vs. Hard Work" comparison charts.

All these takes about Chihiro having "natural talent" that doesn't require him to work hard to master fighting drive me nuts. At best he's got a significant leg up thanks to all the time he spent with his dad in the forge, nothing to do with whacking dummies and seeing Samura do a clean slice once.

Once again: Chihiro is not using some secret super special ability to copy Samura and neither was Kunishige when he was forging the Enchanted Blades. Both the father and son have a natural talent for observing minute details others miss, and both used it on a near-daily basis for many years.

It's the kind of skill that can apply to many different situations outside of where it was used most (forging blades in their case). So yeah, Chihiro's good at picking things up after seeing them once. But that doesn't mean he's suddenly competent at the skills he's copying. He still needs to train to hold his own against people with experience!

But oh yeah. Chihiro did train. He even eschewed resting to get that training, and after all that he's still not confident in his skill. He knows he's still got a long way to go.

Not a guy who's suddenly mastered the blade.

Also, if Uruha hadn't given Chihiro a primer on how the style worked (dumping spirit energy into "kata" [型 basically, a proper "form"]), he probably wouldn't have been able to actually to the Iai move in the first place. So the type of genius that Chihiro has is "mimicry" if anything. He notices everything he needs to start using someone else's technique if they explain the esoteric bits and can start to practice it.

If Chihiro really was naturally adept at swordfighting instead of applying this mimicry ability to it, he'd be a lot more like a certain someone who fully relies on intuition. But he's just a smart guy using a talent he cultivated for about a decade on becoming a better fighter. Still a genius, but not in a way that erases his need to work hard for mastery.

Hakuri

Type: Rare Gift

He IS the special boy after all!

Hakuri is pretty straightforward. He's an incredibly rare talent who was born with the ability to use two different kinds of sorcery in a world where most people can only use one. The first of his kind in his family since the Sazanami Patriarch started the clan over 200 years ago, and the first one Shiba's ever seen.

The storehouse sorcery in particular seems to be special due to it's "heretical" nature (which we still don't have context on). It's so rare that it gets passed down from Patriarch to Patriarch through a ritual instead of through natural inheritance like Isou, and did not reappear once until Hakuri was born.

But he's not at all overpowered after going from zero to hero...

Poor guy.

Much like Chihiro, just because Hakuri has unlocked his potential doesn't mean he's suddenly going to solo everyone he fights. He's pushed himself much too far after his ascension and now might lose his sorcery forever. This probably won't happen for many narrative reasons, but he's still very much out of commission for the foreseeable future.

His capacity limitations will probably be around to keep him in check even as he trains. We still have a lot to learn about how Hakuri's unique situation is handled in terms of allocating his power, but he's quite limited right now- especially when using the storehouse powers. Connecting to the subspace is what taxes him the most (Kyora did remark that it's "incredibly diffcult" to do) so we probably won't see him teleporting things around and dropping anvils on folks between Isou blasts any time soon. Would be rad as hell though.

He's also got to get used to combat. He had four years of foundational training that all Sazanamis get to circulate sorcery within their bodies, but Hakuri's far more used to being a punching bag than actually holding his own in a fight. He's not a total beginner but he's still got a lot to learn most likely. At least he's already used to pain and bloody violence thanks to his family...?

I love him so much, please let him come back to the story soon.

But anyway. Hakuri, the boy with a Rare Gift. Once he gets back in the story and learns how to use them, he'll be quite the formidable sorcerer.

Hiruhiko

Type: Natural Talent

And then there's THIS guy.

Anyone who wants to complain about "talent vs. hard work" needs to take a look at Hiruhiko and start shoving him in those stupid charts instead of Chihiro. This guy was a top-class sorcerer and is now going to learn how to fight with a sword through instinct. Seriously, this is the type of "genius" that so many people complain about most of the time- he picks up a sword and a few swings later he's beating a master of a style that was passed down for 150 years. Head empty, no training, just pure intuition.

And the worst part is, John's free-wheeling approach to Hiruhiko's growth is working. His precious little boy is actually figuring things out by feel like he said he would and will now challenge Chihiro, someone who's using a proper form and style with some practice under his belt... and in all likelihood win or force a draw.

Her fears were unfounded.

I get not wanting to have extended training arcs -appreciate it even- but if this type of genius was given to make Hiruhiko more hateable then good job on the author's part. I'm not really one to complain about geniuses who figure things out on their own through trial and error (I'd have a hard time being an anime/manga fan if I was) but Hiruhiko could stand to be humbled again. Please let him lose his arms again or something.

He's the newest so we've still got more to see from him and how far his improvised techniques will take him. For now though he seems poised to be Chihiro's equal in sword combat already. Fucker.

This page turn gnaws at my brain almost as much as Chihiro and Hakuri sharing snacks and Chihiro wanting to be Hakuri's samurai does.

Anyway, those are Kagurabachi's three geniuses who are supposed to be "equals" through different methods. One swordsman, one sorcerer, one sorcerer turned swordsman. Two 18 year-olds and one 17 year-old. Two who need to work hard despite their talents, one who can just do whatever wants. Two steeped in violence practically from birth and one who chose it later. All killers before their 18th birthdays. All gifted in different ways so we can skip extended training arcs.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Mars in pisces blurred lines . ♓️ 🐟 🐠

Here we go again with Mars in pisces because it didn’t let me do it last time well it didn’t let me upload it I put so much effort into it guys like I did with the whole Mars series and really went into detail but this time it is going to work believe me now when we talk about Mars in places we talk about boundaries and lines being blurred think about the song blurred lines by Robin Thicke. That song became such a controversy because of it um basically some people believed it was about rape and how lines are being played and who are seeing what’s going on and the ironic thing is that sounds like is 11 years old now nearly I wanna say it probably is 11 years old I think it came out at the beginning of 2014 so I remember when I remember the video of rodakowski and the lot. On the naked version with Pharrell but Robin more than places also and he did the song blurred lines his dad is somebody called Alan thick from a program called family ties .Anyway this song is about bloodlines as we know so here's some examples of people who have their Mars in pisces.

Starting strong Elizabeth Taylor now for me Elizabeth Taylor was always like my favorite old Hollywood person but here’s the big **** with Mars in pisces which people online on the discord that a lot of people do not like pisces placements I have noticed it could be because I have a pisces ex and it’s coming on my for you page I don’t know but it seems prevalent that people joke about Mars in pisces and we wonder why why is this. Well it could be little things or it could be big things so Elizabeth Taylor she had a big Hollywood career in the golden age of Hollywood they called it from around the 1930s to around the 1970s I believe. Anyway I think she was evil with MGM will golden mayor with the horrible leader of that Louis B Mayer. Who was very nasty to people like Judy Garland and Marilyn Monroe. I saw online recently as well that she was allegedly jealous of Marilyn Elizabeth well Elizabeth had many marriages so this could be the deception part with pisces because with pisces it can be very sneaky they’re almost like covert narcissists some degree.

Now hear me out don’t hate me places cause I don’t hate you I’m just going through the Mars signs and like some signs works and others don’t and I particularly don’t like Mars placements in astrology anyway because I have a day chart and Mars transits are generally quite tricky for me and I just I don’t like my own Mars placement so right yeah she had a multiple places and she had a very extravagant lifestyle with a couple of her husbands her first marriage she got with one of the Hiltons I think anyway she had a very abusive first marriage that she had to escape she was very young I feel like she was about 18 years old maximum I think she might have had two boys with this man as well. Now the blurred lines here could be between marriages she was married to the Hilton guy then she was married to Mike Todd, eddie fisher, Richard Burton a senator Richard Burton again and Larry some Jewish name. I think she married him after she left rehab which was quite different for her because he wasn't her usual sort of type he wasn't executive so maybe she went for something different..... but somebody I think Barbara Walters even asked her was she addicted to marriage and I think she answered no she goes I think that’s just what you did back then you love someone you got with them you married and she was asked did you think it would work every time. Ohh yes you don’t get an A marriage not for it to work. she says. So I truly believe as a pisces she probably fell for it hook line and sinker excuse the pun... and they caught her like a fish but I don’t believe that she loved all these men the same she loved Mike Todd and Richard Burton the most and they at the time helped with our extravagant lifestyle, they bought her nice jewels took her on holidays they did drugs together they drank loads of alcohol all over the world went all over the world to different places had an extreme lifestyle and they were known for it. Harry and Richard where she fell in love with him on the set of Cleopatra now Eddie Fisher is a bit of a weird one because she was best friends with Debbie Reynolds who was married to Eddie Fisher and when Mike Todd died he came to comfort her where Carrie Fisher another Mars in pisces, said he went to my Elizabeth’s side and then to her front. Which was quite funny. But the themes of drugs in this placement is very prevalent even the ones who don't like to admit they're doing it to some degree and they can even shame other people for their addictions and fables I know my dad does certainly but that could be his Virgo moon Virgo moons can be quite cruel when they want to be too, he’s got very similar hook-ups to me and his chart. Like moon opposition Mars. Anyway I’m going off track here a little bit so yeah Elizabeth lived an extravagant lifestyle but she was the first person to go to the Betty Ford clinic who is a celebrity.... which was big back then she was also the first to do a celebrity perfume now Aries are always first to do things in situations and her Venus is in Aries. Her and Marilyn both have their Venus in Aries and Mars in Pisces. Now the deception there could be of the Jews the marriages etcetera etcetera.

Then you have Lisa Marie Presley who’s another person with their martin pisces who got with Michael Jackson who has a lot of pisces and ..,That’s what everyone else is saying at the time also... because she didn’t fit the type everybody thought he was a child abuser but personally I’m pretty sure Diana Ross did that to Michael Jackson.

Anyway more deception let’s go with Marilyn Monroe Mars in pisces now she’s in every girl’s bedroom across the world. Fears that one figure that men and women love alike where does the deception lie with Marilyn. Well the deception with Marilyn was the way she was treated by others I believe the Kennedys, allegedly Fidel Castro and many other powerful institutions so these were the blade lines between Marilyn they used her for sexual favours and in the movie blonde although it’s very disrespectful it shows how young Marilyn would have been treated in Hollywood so in a way it was very truthful people were hurt because it was painful to watch. So I think the deception with Marilyn and lies between drugs studio heads and the people who abused her those were the blurred lines between who she was as a person the full stop and she was such a wonderful person so likeable so beautiful so charitable she even set up her own company like.

Elizabeth Taylor did exactly the same with her aides found HIV and AIDS foundation, where she has had family members continue on I think with this. So a lot of these people people I know in real life as well like to give to charity and they like to help people less fortunate than them. Not all the time but look how Paris did it with Provo Canyon and we fell in love with Paris all over again in 2021 when she did that documentary and we realised that her mum is a cold hearted ditch and ironically her mum’s a pisces which really shocked me because she’s very cold. She must have a lot of earth in her chart I’m going to have I look at it after I’ve posted this for the third time.Let’s see where we get with this but like I said the deception with Elizabeth is with her marriages and her drug use and alcohol use with Richard Burton where the lines get blurred in fact this title should be called blurred lines.. because I know people in real life obviously my dad has his Mars in pisces and he.. be a covert narcissist well more of a malignant narcissist at times I fill with water placements in Mars you don't really ever get to know them. you don't know who they really are.. so this is me doing it for the third time it’s not as in detail because I don’t want to lose it all again and this is my take on Mars and pisces. I mean then you could look at Paris and say how she was made fun of a lot in the 2000s as well as having the perfect body she was also made fun of and people would do parodies of Paris and her songs but I actually think Paris is a really nice girl.. she was in her 20s when all that stuff was going on with Brandon Davis and Lindsay Lohan worried thought she was out of order for laughing but I would have done the same as the 20 year old girl probably. And here’s another bloodline with parish sex tape one night in Paris. By Rick Solomon who is a lot older than her and she says she thinks she might have either just been underage or only just legal and he was like bragging about it on Howard Stern yeah it was just sick so be aware when you watch that she’s underage probably when you just legal. With Paris I don’t actually think she set out to release it like Kim did so that’s probably where they’re fallout came from because for a Hilton that ruined their reputation but for a Kardashian it was a money maker .

[comicbookgirl2]

My cringy re-write for Dr Sawyer storyline for Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I’m not saying I dislike chapter 4! I actually like it quite a lot! This is just what I would’ve done for the doctors side of things!

Dr Sawyer is still helping the prototype like he is in the original only this time he is secretly trying to undermine him as well. With the power of the Omni hand/chip He has a small faction of his own- but unlike either Poppy’s (sensible toys) or the prototype (toys that toe the line of insanity) his are completely feral, lacking any remnants of the humans they once were, save for the loyalty that he’d forcefully implanted into them before he’d been betrayed by Playtime co.

But this is where we diverge from cannon. You see a bit after the hour of joy - he catches wind of Poppy’s displeasure of the prototype, and being in the position he is - he can’t help but agree with her. So he makes a proposition with her- and using his database informs her of possible survivors. Perphaps one of them could give her the assistance they need and put an end to the prototypes reign of terror.

Of course she and the rest of safe haven wisely don’t trust him but what option do they have? So little by little poppy plans with the doctor but when she leaves to finally send the letter she’s intercepted by the prototype who surprise, surprise had been informed by Sawyer of the entire scheme. (Yeah he’s double crossing people lol)

The prototype locks Poppy up, and now Sawyer (wanting to buy himself some time via providing more proof of his ‘usefulness’) sends his minion bodies to descend upon the safe haven residents, capturing some and killing others.

It’s a huge blow to safe haven especially when coupled with the loss of Poppy. But for the doctor it’s a flawless victory as he reveals the plan to the prototype who allows the letter to be sent out to the player.

Cut to the time when our player is there, you still run into his minions like yarnaby and pianosaurus (who’s Sawyer’s guard dog in this world as well) and his henchmen (other computer bodies) attack safe haven as well.

but you also see that sawyer has been doing some experimentation of his own- gathering parts to build something. What you may ask?

Simple- he’s rebuilding a body for himself- one without meat that won’t rot and age.

His interactions with you are somewhat similiar- malevolent and cold (almost coming off more like a computer than human during the initial interactions) until he asks you to betray Poppy and join him. He tries to use his feral toys to make you see how frivolous it is to help them but ultimately you refuse.

So he puts you in the same room as the trapped critter giving you a choice between your life or its own. This time you can hear the critter talking- it even remembers you, and pleads with you to save it. This is one of the critters Sawyer took from the safe haven and broke to prove a point that all the toys are the same regardless of how ‘sane’ they appear to be, all the while the critter asks for help.

And this time. You do.

Both to the critter’s amazement and the doctor’s disgust you save it. The critter initially follows you for a bit before scampering off asthe boss battle proceeds as originally save for a different part where you battle Harley in his new body- this one is far stronger and more dangerous than the others and corners you about to deliver the killing blow when the critter you save from before reappears and saves you almost at the cost of its life. But it works and you defeat Harley.

I know, I know it sounds cringe but hear me out!

Harley has always looked down on things like altruism, and empathy. He yelled at Ludwig for it. So him being defeated by it would be ironic wouldn’t it? Almost bringing things to a full circle while making you once again think about Doey/Poppy’s conundrum! That maybe there is things- people in the factory that aren’t worth throwing away.

[0piumlol]

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: Slow burn, unresolved tension, emotional angst, mutual pining, nostalgia, some humor, eventual romance

Genre: Romance, Drama, Slice of Life, Light Angst, Fluff

Summary: Jungkook had always been your best friend—the boy who knew your secrets, your fears, your dreams. But time had a way of changing things. His career took off, and you drifted apart, lost in the space between his world and yours. Years later, when he unexpectedly reaches out, you find yourself facing old memories, unspoken feelings, and the question that’s lingered in your heart for far too long: *Were you ever just friends?*

---

THEN

Jungkook was a whirlwind in your life from the moment you met him.

He was loud when you were quiet, fearless when you hesitated, and always pulling you into adventures you weren’t sure you wanted to be part of—until you did.

The two of you were inseparable, growing up side by side in the same neighborhood. Summers were spent running through the streets, chasing fireflies, and making up ridiculous dares that always ended in laughter. Winters meant sneaking onto rooftops, huddling under shared blankets, whispering about the future like you had all the time in the world.

You had always known Jungkook was meant for something greater. His voice, his talent, the way he carried himself—it was like he had a world waiting for him beyond your small town.

Still, you never thought he’d leave *you* behind.

But dreams demand sacrifice. And when Jungkook was scouted at fifteen, he left with a promise.

*"I’ll call you every day."*

And he did—at first. But as training intensified, the calls became shorter, the texts less frequent. Eventually, they stopped altogether.

You told yourself you understood. That you were happy for him.

But understanding didn’t make the silence hurt any less.

---

NOW

The message comes out of nowhere.

**Jungkook:** *Hey. Are you in Seoul?*

You stare at the screen, thumb hovering over the keyboard. It’s been years since you last spoke properly. There had been the occasional birthday message, the rare "hope you’re doing well" text, but nothing beyond that.

And yet, here he was.

**You:** *Yeah. Why?*

His reply is instant.

**Jungkook:** *Come see me.*

---

You tell yourself you won’t go.

But you do.

And now, standing outside a private studio in the heart of Seoul, you wonder if this is a mistake.

The door swings open before you can overthink it.

And there he is.

Jungkook looks *different*—taller, sharper, his features more defined. The soft boyishness you remember has given way to something more mature, more confident. But his eyes—the way they light up when he sees you—those are the same.

"Y/n," he breathes, like he doesn’t quite believe you’re real. Then, before you can react, he pulls you into a hug, arms tightening around you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

For a moment, you don’t move. You’re too aware of the warmth of him, the way his heartbeat is steady against yours. Then, slowly, you let yourself sink into the familiarity.

"You got taller," you mutter against his shoulder.

Jungkook chuckles, his breath warm against your hair. "You didn’t."

You smack his arm, and he laughs, the sound sending a rush of nostalgia through you.

Yeah. This is still him.

---

The café is small, tucked away from prying eyes. Jungkook pulls his hoodie low over his face, but he doesn’t stop fidgeting, hands restless as he stirs his drink.

"You still do that," you note, watching his fingers tap against the cup.

He glances up. "Do what?"

"Fidget. When you’re nervous."

Jungkook blinks, then grins. "Maybe I’m just excited to see you."

You roll your eyes, but your heart stutters.

"How have you been?" he asks, voice softer now.

You hesitate. The easy answer is *fine.* But that’s not the truth, is it?

"I don’t know," you admit. "I feel like I blinked, and suddenly, we’re here. And I don’t know how we got so far apart."

Jungkook exhales, setting his cup down. "I know. And I hate that it happened."

There’s something raw in his voice, something that makes your chest tighten.

"I should’ve tried harder," he continues. "I should’ve—"

"You don’t have to explain," you interrupt. "I get it. You had a dream. And I never wanted to hold you back from that."

His jaw clenches. "You never held me back, Y/n. I just... I got caught up in everything. And I didn’t know how to balance it all."

Silence stretches between you. Then, he reaches across the table, fingers brushing against yours.

"Can we try again?" he asks. "I don’t want us to be strangers."

You look at him, really look at him. At the boy who had been your best friend. At the man sitting before you now.

"Yeah," you whisper. "I’d like that."

---

**Later That Night**

You should have gone home.

Instead, you find yourself in Jungkook’s studio, curled up on the couch while he plays snippets of unreleased songs.

"I wrote this one a while ago," he says, plucking at the guitar strings. "It’s about… missing someone."

You don’t have to ask who.

The melody is slow, aching. It fills the room, wraps around you like a memory.

When he finishes, silence lingers between you.

Then, softly, Jungkook says, "I thought about you. All the time."

You swallow. "Then why didn’t you ever say anything?"

He looks down at his hands. "Because I didn’t know if you were still waiting for me."

Your breath catches.

The confession is there, unspoken but heavy.

You’re not sure who moves first.

But suddenly, he’s closer. Close enough that you can see the nervous flicker in his eyes, the way his breath hitches.

And then, he whispers—so quiet you almost miss it—

*"Tell me to stop."*

But you don’t.

Because this time, you don’t want him to.

---

**End.**

---

I genuinely forgot to post on tumblr due to my exams :P I'm sorry yall. I'll try to be consistent again like before.

[mythicalmyles]

Cody and Tim don’t get to work together much, but when they do they make a dream team.

(TW: Sub!Male!Reader, Drug use(Weed) also reader is lightly drugged by cody, Noncon, Threats, Knife kink, degredation, feminisation, cuck masky, nipple play, spit roasting, noncon filming)

Things had been weird in your town for a while now, it was a rather large town but still a decent amount of people knew each other. It was completely surrounded by a forest with miles and miles before the next civilization. There had been a lot of murders lately, people killed in their beds. Some while out with friends.

Things were tense between your college class, everyone on edge after four dorms had been broken into. Seven students had also lost kidneys. Rumours of a cannibal fled throughout the city, from the workplace to the classrooms panicked words had spread.

You and your friends had found some news clippings about an old abandoned asylum in the woods from the local library. Your eldest friend Arron had had the bright idea of going to it, you had all stupidly agreed.

You tried not to scream when a hand suddenly landed on your shoulder, twisting around quick enough to give yourself whiplash. "Woah! Calm down man." Arron chuckled, pulling back with his arms raised. "You shouldn't scare people like that." He at least had the decency to look apologetic, hand coming up to mess with his light brown hair. "Yeah, dick move." A feminine voice suddenly spoke up, smacking him on the shoulder. Lauren’s eyebrows were furrowed, plucked thin. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, chunky highlights a stark blonde against her natural dark hair. She crossed her arms, looking at the forest and pursing her lips.

You could feel the nervousness dripping off of her, surprised she had even came. "Hey guys." You turned to the other voice before you could answer Lauren, her girlfriend and her little brother fast approaching. Aaliyah was short and full of sunshine, a polar opposite to the asshole persona her lover put on for everyone. After you exchanged greetings you began making your way into the forest, tightening your bag against your shoulder.

It had taken almost an hour of walking and you were ready to call it quits, chest feeling tighter with every step. "God, stop for a minute." You called out, swinging your bag off of your shoulders and dropping to your knees. You began unzipping the bag and pulling out your rolling stuff. "Well, thank god I'm not the only one." Lauren called out with relief, dropping her Juicy couture bag to the forest floor. She squatted down to sort her own rolling stuff, it wasn't long before the rest of the group followed suit.

Despite everyone's different styles this one habit brought you all together. You had met in high school when ditching, there was a spot a lot of the stoners went to. It wasn't long before you began running into each other, going from small talk to talking about your deepest fears and biggest dreams.

Once you were all sorted you stood back up. "Look, it's not much farther I swear." Arron pleaded, desperate to see inside of the hospital. The rest of you relented and followed him, hoping he was right. You took a large drink of water from the bottle you had taken from your bag, grateful for the soothing liquid against your throat.

LAKEVILLE ASYLUM

Ten minutes later and there it was. In all it's glory. It looked old as hell with decrepit walls and smashed windows. The sign was almost illegible against the gate. "God, there's gonna be creeps in there." Aaliyah's panicked voiced kicked in, you and Arron looked at each other before looking at Lauren and Jake. "You wanna go back?" Lauren looked concerned, but you knew she was also looking for an out. You couldn't deny your stomach twisted just looking at the building.

Aaliyah nodded and that was that, Lauren grabbed her hand and they waved goodbye. The three of you exchanged looks before nodding at each other. Arron was the one to push open the gates, you got a few steps in before you light up your joint, the smell of weed flooding through the vicinity.

"You just can't wait." Arron chided, shaking his head. You stuck your tongue out at him before taking a deep inhale, mouth already drying up. You lazily tagged behind them as they pushed forwards, the doors were loud and scratched the floor as they were swung them open. They were just as loud as they swung closed, slamming against the frame.

The building was large, and surprisingly the floor was clean. It was stained but there was no debris, it gave you a weird feeling. You expected more mess, instead you brushed off your feelings. "I'm going up stairs." You nodded towards the steps. "Okay, i wanna go this way." Jake followed him, you rolled your eyes and made your way upstairs.

Your feet were heavy against the steps, assuming the place was empty. Arron and Jakes voice faded as you got farther apart. You wandered past two rooms before making your way to the farthest, orange filling the room. A smile crept over your face as you made your way to the window, it was old, rusty and made a horrendous noise when you pushed it up You sat on your knees, arms resting on the sill as you relight your joint.

The sun was pretty as it set over the forest, casting a comforting glow across the trees. Sudden screams had you jumping and smacking your head of the window, falling back and wincing as you clutched your head. Once you got over the pain the sounds of your friends screaming bloody murder burst through your ears.

You leapt up quickly, stopping dead in your tracks when you came face to face with a rather large man. His head cocked to the side, staring at you. Blue googles hid his eyes, a grey half gas mask obstructing his mouth. Your eyes darted around, almost crying in joy at spotting another door. You had no choice. You bolted for the door.

A large body slammed into you, throwing you up against the wall. You barley had time to groan in pain before hands wrapped around your neck. You could see yourself in his goggles, mouth dropped open and eyes wide.

Your hands wrapped tightly around his wrists, trying to pry him off. He was much stronger, ripping a hand away and digging into his pocket. He grinned down at you as he pulled out a needle, he used his teeth to rip the cap off. Before you could think farther you raised your knee up, slamming him in the balls just as the needle slid into you.

You felt some of it inter into you, brain panicking as a small fog began to set. You ran as fast as you could, body wobbling as you darted further into the building. You could hear him cursing as he stood back up, he sounded terrifying as he shouted about gutting you.

You could feel your mind getting hazy, finding it harder to make your body run. You darted into another room once you stopped hearing noise, a heavy door coming into sight. The room gave off a horrifying energy but you shook it off, you already had who knows how many psychopaths chasing you. You prayed for your friends despite their previous screams of pain.

It took everything you had to pry the door open, stomach churning when you came face to face with a table. It was angled so that whoever was on it was almost sitting up. It also had restraints on it, old thick leather.

You heard whistling and footsteps approaching, tears finally beginning to drop from your eyes as you quickly and quietly hid behind the door. You kept your hand pressed tight to your mouth, letting your body lean against the wall. You prayed to every god you could think of that he’d look elsewhere.

Suddenly you heard more footsteps, your fingers digging into your cheeks. Trying desperately to hold back your cries. It sounded like a group. You were fucked, that was all that you could think as you leaned against the wall shaking.

You really regretting hitting that guy in the balls now. You should’ve complied until a better time. Too late now.

You could feel your head lull, adrenaline wearing off. The fast beating of your heart had sent whatever he had injected you with flowing through your body quicker. Both hands grasped at your mouth when footsteps began coming your way. “If you find that bitch i get him first.” A deep nasally voice spat out. It sounded like the guy you had hit. Someone else chuckled and you heard one of the footsteps leave.

Every step sent a pang to your heart, it almost felt as if a heart attack would take you first before the intruder got near. Tears rained down when a man walked through the door, cocky and without a fear. He was much larger than the other, broad shoulders and strong. You didn’t stand a chance if he saw you.

He seemed to focus on the bed for a moment, for a moment you thought you were free. Until a hand wrapped around your arm and dragged you out from behind the door, his face was hidden behind a white mask, it looked rather feminine despite his rather gruff exterior. “Ple-please don’t h-hurt me.” You whispered out, shaking under his stare. “Aren’t you a pretty thing?” His voice was deep and husky, a gloved hand coming to run down your face. You flinched at his touch and received a chuckle in response, his hand suddenly grabbing your face.

You tried your best not to react as he stared into you, he suddenly chuckled, grabbed your shirt and dragged you over to the metal bed. You struggled against him, failing to pry yourself away. He shoved you onto the bed, pinning you down with his weight as he shoved your wrists into the restraints. He didn’t bother securing your legs, taking another moment to stare at you as you sobbed and twisted against the metal table.

Your begging fell on deaf ears as he turned and left the room, leaving you alone with your overactive mind. In your struggle your jumper had ridden up, exposing your stomach. You hadn’t paid much mind, intent on trying to break out of the cuffs that had started to bruise your skin.

“Isn’t this a pathetic sight?” Your head snapped towards the voice, fear written on your face as you stared into goggles. “Fuh-fuck i’m s-sorry." You choked out trying to scramble as far as you could.

He pulled something out of his pocket, looking you in the eye as he flicked it open. The knife glinted in what little light that came from the windows above, left over rays dancing in. “You’ve been a naughty boy.” He hummed, knife suddenly pressing against your stomach. “God no, please.” You sobbed out, body frozen in place.

“You wasted my needle.” He growled, blade digging into your (s/t) skin. You scrunched your eyes shut, feeling the blade slide through your skin. He didn’t go deep but when you opened your eyes you could see your blood beading up before breaking and staining your skin.

You had never felt more powerless in your life, strapped to a table with masked up men either side of you. Both men watched your cut bleeding, the white masked one going as far as to stretch the skin, his gloves cold against your skin. You cursed every decision that had ever crossed your mind, regretting ever finding those news papers.

Suddenly the man with the gas mask slid his hand up your stomach, pushing your jumper up. You couldn’t help but gasp as the cold shot up your chest, nipples hardening. You tried to fight the flush that was desperate to crawl up your neck but the heat on your face told you otherwise.

You jolted when cold leather pressed against one of your buds, jaw dropping as your eyes snapped up to the guy. He used his free hand to shove his goggles up, green eyes staring down at you. He tugged down his gas mask, smirking down at you. He had a few chipped teeth, you clearly weren’t the first to fight back. “Maybe we keep this one.” The way he spoke about you was nauseating, like you were a puppy on the side of the road. Before you could think of anything to say he suddenly grabbed your nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

The loud moan that tore through your lips left scathing shame in its wake, you bit your lip roughly to hold back anymore. You had no idea you were so sensitive there.

“You can call me Cody, thats Masky.” He pinched harder when you kept your lips sealed. “Say it.” He froze, voice terrifying as his eyes cut into yours. “Co-Cody! Mah-Masky.” You choked out, receiving a smirk. Masky also pulled his mask off, dark eyes staring down at you. His chubby face was lined with stubble, his lack of care evident. You guessed murderers had better things to do.

Masky unbuckled your bet despite your pleas, if anything it seemed to spur him on. Of course he was a pervert. His empty eyes sucked you in, keeping you locked in place. You almost sobbed when your half hard cock was released, Masky smirking up at you. “What a slut. Already hard and all you did was play with his tits.” You shook your head, denying that his words had your cock twitching.

You hadn’t jacked off in a few months, you chalked the sensitivity upto that and cursed yourself. Masky wrapped his gloved hand around your cock, relishing in the whine he pulled from you. He sloppily jacked you off while Cody wrapped one of his lips around your nipple, sucking on the bud roughly.

You couldn’t help as your body twisted, the foreign feeling of another touching your body was something new to you. Sure you had kissed, made out with a couple of people but nothing ever close to anything like this.

It felt overwhelming, multiple hands grabbing at your body. Touching you everywhere. Even if you escaped you were sure their touch was going to be burned into your flesh. “Sto-op.” You choked out one more desperate plea. “Yeah? I don’t think you want that. Look at how hard you are.” His thumb rubbed against your head, leaving you choking and bucking your hips.

Cody grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look him in the eye. “You’re loving this, slut, just admit it.” He pried your jaw open, spitting into your mouth. A moan spilled from your mouth before you could stop it, Cody chuckling as he studied your blown out pupils. He shoved three of his digits into your mouth. “This the only lube you’re getting.” His tone was stern, spurring you to start licking and sucking his fingers. They were salty against your tongue, rough callouses across his hand.

He pulled his fingers out of your mouth, smirking at your obedience. “Spread your legs.” You looked up at him pleading. “Trust me princess, you don’t want to piss him off more than you already have.” Your cheeks light up with heat in response to the nickname.

You fought your instincts, shaky legs sliding up and parting. Masky yanked your jeans and boxers further down, letting you open up more. All you could do was stare at the celling and take deep breathes. “Good boy.” Cody grinned, hand threading into your hair. Sudden hands on your ass had your mind reeling, pleading again for them to stop.

You could feel the cold air caressing your hole, drawing a whimper. Masky’s leather clad hands dug into your flesh, holding you open. Neither made a move for a moment, the eyes on your exposed body driving you insane. Suddenly you felt a finger pressing against your hole, your legs almost slammed shut, only being stopped by Masky’s strong hands holding them open.

Cody rubbed your hole, holding eye contact with you. Just when your body began to relax he suddenly pushed his finger past your ring, you gasped and began struggling again. “N-no! Ple-please!” You begged again, hands desperately pulling at your restraints. He began fucking you with the digit, relishing in every gasp and groan he pulled. “A-ah! No!” You called out, feeling him push another digit into you. He ignored you, quickly slamming his fingers into you, searching for your prostate.

Your hands balled into fists, mouth going slack as your prostate was assaulted by someone who had likely just murdered your friends. Your brain felt like it was melting, sobbing when a third finger slid into you. “Oh! G-god!” You felt yourself call out, twisting in their grasp as you felt your orgasm build.

As if he knew Masky suddenly grabbed your cock, eating up your shriek as your orgasm was cut off. Your hips bucked up begging for friction as a dry orgasm tore through your body. You flopped back, gasping and shaking as Cody’s fingers slammed into your prostate. You started begging, for what you didn’t know. Whether it was for them to stop it or to keep going you couldn’t tell anymore.

You whined when he pulled his fingers out, stomach summersaulting. Suddenly Cody began undoing the leather straps holding you down, he barely gave you a moment to look at the damage done to your wrists before he was pulling you off of the bed. “You’re a virgin right?” He whispered into your ear, wrapping his body around you. His lips ghosted against your ear, making sure you heard every word. You let out a sob before nodding.

Masky hopped up onto the bed, seeming content to watch as Cody toyed with you. You flushed knowing the other male was watching you, his dark eyes looking over your body. Cody’s hand felt large against your throat, his fingers teasingly squeezing the sides of your neck.

His hands slithered down your body, taking their time to stop and play with your nipples. Cody adored the way you sobbed with shame, his cock rock hard against your ass. He grabbed your leg, lifting it to your chest. You whimpered, it was almost crushing having your leg smushed against your chest. His free hand went to guide his cock to your hole, you could feel him rub his bulging cock against your hole. You tried holding back your moans as you felt him drag his cock against your hole, teasing you.

You let out a panicked yell when he began pressing into you, choking your words in your mouth when he finally breached you. You sobbed heavily as he began pushing in, it felt like he was going to split you apart. He didn’t stop until he was buried balls deep, nails digging into the flesh of your thigh causing blood to bead. Your body dropped into his hold, shaking and sobbing as you took your first cock. This wasn’t how you had ever thought it would go. He let your leg fall further down his arm, squeezing the skin when his now free hand wrapped around your neck. You wailed when he roughly pulled out only to slam as deep as he could, tears rolling down your cheeks as his cock bullied its way inside of you. He targeted your prostate, holding you up as you moaned.

You couldn’t help but make eye contact with Masky, jaw dropped open while you moaned. You could feel your eyes rolling back, sobbing as you felt your orgasm return. “Ngh! Please!” Your voice was horse, choking on your own saliva. Suddenly Cody stopped, just before you came. You sobbed in his arms as your body shook, orgasm retreating. “Baby, you only cum when i say so.” If he hadn’t just murdered your friends you probably would’ve melted at the oddly sweet tone he put on.

He pulled out, leaving you confused and standing on unsteady feet. “Get on your knees.” Masky suddenly commanded, going straight to your cock. You felt sick despite complying.

You dropped to your knees, looking up at him as he smirked over you. A hand on your neck shoved you forwards, hands slapping against the floor as you caught yourself. Cody’s hands were back on your hips, digits digging into your flesh. “Fuck. I could come just seeing this alone.” Cody smirked, hand wrapped around his cock as he openly stared down at your ass. He slid back in, with less resistance this time. Although you still wrapped tightly around his cock, he could get even deeper in this position. It almost felt like he was actually rearranging your guts, forcing his cock as deep as he could get. “Say you love my cock.” He groaned, loosing patience quickly. His hands bounced when he slapped your ass, biting his lip watching as red spread across your flesh. “I-i love your co-cock!” You gasped out before he could land another. “Good girl.” You hated the fact your cock twitched with his degrading words.

Masky suddenly dropped to his knees infront of you, unbuckling his belt and pulling out his cock. It was insane, both were larger than any cock you had seen in porn. Masky’s hands were harsh as they tangled into your hair. “Open your mouth.” You complied with his request, sticking your tongue out. He chuckled, hand wrapped around his cock as he began jacking off infront of you. He’d push his cock against your tongue, groaning when his head would slide against it.

He lost patience quickly, shoving his cock into your mouth. You choked around it, trying to pull away and failing. While Masky fucked your mouth Cody slide back into you, relishing in the way you squealed around Masky’s cock. “H-hows this slut? All your holes stuffed full. B-bet you love it you whore. That’s it, take it like a good boy.” You could feel your mind withering away, moaning around the cock in your mouth as your ass was pounded into.

“F-fuck. His throats so tight.” Masky groaned out, deep throating you on his cock. You could feel your own drool dripping down your chin like a fountain, sobbing as Cody made it his life goal to slam into your prostate. You felt weak as the men used you for their pleasure, complete disregard for your feelings and thoughts.

“G-gonna keep you locked up. Yeah! Nice ‘n ready for my cock.” Cody babbled, balls slamming into yours as he railed you in doggy. You panicked as another orgasm began to build up, pleasure shooting up through your spine. You hated to admit it, but being hunted and then fucked roughly was doing more for you than you cared to admit.

Suddenly Masky began slamming harder into yours mouth, your drool being forced back down your throat and choking you. All you could do was look at him, begging with your eyes. “Im cuming down that pretty fuckin’ throat.” He barked out before fulfilling his promise, his cum was thick and salty as it shot down your throat. You thought you were gonna choke before he pulled out, the rest of his cum shooting over your face.

Cody wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you up against his chest as he fucked into you like a machine. You sounded like a mess, moaning and screaming as he pistoned into you. “Tell me y-you love my cock.” He growled again, sliding his arm around your throat and putting you into a headlock for better leverage. “Ah! Lov-love it! Fuck m-me plea-please!” You sobbed out orgasm slamming into you now that you weren’t so distracted by Masky’s thick cock ramming down your throat. You felt your cock explode, your own jizz shooting up your chest and hitting you in your own face.

Masky laughed, pure psychotic glee shining in his eyes. You looked so cute, with your own cum dripping from your chin while his colleague plowed your guts. Cody didn’t last much longer with having you tightening up around his cock, despite your overstimulated cries he shoved you back down, holding you by the neck as he fucked you into the ground. “Tha-thats it slut, take what i give you.” He growled, burying deep as he spilled his seed into you. All you could do was whine as he pulled out, sobbing as reality came crashing back around you.

A sudden chuckle had you freezing, before you shot your attention over to the door. Horror set in when two more men came into view, one’s face was obstructed by black fabric with messily red stitched eyes and a frown. He held a camera between his hands which only added to your horror. You couldn’t tell but you had a feeling he was eyeing you up as he hit play on the camera, your debauched moans echoing back to you through the speakers. The man beside him suddenly slammed his head to the side, a sickening crack echoing the room.

“N-nice toy.” Was all you heard before blacking out, body overwhelmed.

[kathlare]

cold steel

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Joe and Jack attend a McLaren tour, only to find themselves unexpectedly sitting with Lando Norris. The interaction quickly turns awkward as Lando, assuming Joe is Amelie’s boyfriend, becomes distant and cold.

Wordcount: 1.0 k

Warnings: none

full masterlist // request over here!

March 26th, 2022 - London, United Kingdom

Joe Burrow had received the invitation from McLaren about a week ago. An exclusive tour of the MTC, a behind-the-scenes look at the world of F1, a chance to see the ins and outs of one of the top teams on the grid. He could even bring a plus one. His first thought had been Elysia, but the second the words left his mouth, she shut it down immediately.

—There is no fucking way I’m going to a place where I might run into Lando— she had said, giving him a pointed look.

Joe had known better than to argue. Instead, he turned to the next best option: Jack.

Jack was the only one in Amelie’s family who still spoke to Lando. He wasn’t particularly close to him, but he never let their messy history affect his own friendship with the McLaren driver. So when Joe invited him, Jack had agreed immediately, excited to see the MTC up close.

The tour had been impressive so far. The MTC was nothing like Joe had imagined—far more futuristic and sleek than the team facilities he was used to in the NFL. They had seen everything from the simulator rooms to the wind tunnel, and now, they were being sent to the cafeteria to have lunch before continuing.

Joe and Jack grabbed their trays, scanning the area for a place to sit, when Jack suddenly grinned and walked toward a table near the windows. Joe followed, only to realize they were heading straight for Lando Norris.

Lando, who had been eating alone, glanced up as they approached. His expression shifted immediately when he saw Jack.

—Oi, mate, what are you doing here?— Lando asked, standing up briefly to give Jack a handshake and a quick pat on the back.

—McLaren invited Joe for a tour, and he brought me along— Jack said, motioning toward Joe. —Lando, this is my sister’s boyfriend, Joe. Joe, this is Lando.—

Joe held out his hand, which Lando shook, but there was a noticeable shift in his demeanor. The warmth from a moment ago was gone. His handshake was firm but brief, his expression unreadable.

—Nice to meet you— Joe said politely.

—Yeah— Lando replied, voice clipped.

Jack blinked at the sudden tension but brushed it off as they all sat down. The conversation was stilted, Lando giving one-word answers and barely making eye contact with Joe. At first, Joe thought maybe Lando just wasn’t a fan of American football, but then Jack noticed the way Lando’s jaw tightened every time Joe spoke.

As they continued their lunch, the air felt heavier, and Jack couldn’t ignore the weird vibe that had suddenly crept in between Lando and Joe. He glanced at Lando, trying to read his face, but the driver was doing a great job of keeping his emotions in check.

—So, uh, what have you been up to?— Jack asked, trying to break the tension.

Lando shrugged, his gaze flickering toward Joe but never quite meeting his eyes.

—Same old stuff. You know, training, testing, trying to get better. Just the usual— he said, his voice flat.

Jack shifted uncomfortably, the awkward silence settling in. It was obvious something was off. Lando’s usually relaxed and friendly demeanor had vanished, replaced with a cold politeness that didn’t feel genuine at all. Joe was doing his best to keep the conversation going, but it was clear he wasn’t getting through to Lando.

Joe looked over at Jack, eyebrows raised in confusion, as if to ask What’s going on? Jack just gave him a small shrug, not understanding either. He had known Lando for years, but he’d never seen him act like this before. Sure, the two had their differences back in the day, but this was something else.

—You’re not a fan of football, are you?— Joe finally asked, trying to bring up something neutral to bridge the gap.

—Not really— Lando answered with a tight-lipped smile, his tone lacking the usual enthusiasm Jack had grown accustomed to when Lando was talking about something he liked. —I don’t follow much sports outside of F1, to be honest.—

—Fair enough— Joe replied, but the conversation quickly faltered again.

And that's when it clicked.

Jack barely held in a laugh as realization hit him like a freight train.

Lando thought Joe was Amelie’s boyfriend.

No wonder he had gone cold. Jack could practically see the wheels turning in Lando’s head, his mind probably racing with all kinds of thoughts.

Jack decided to let it play out a little longer, watching in amusement as Lando subtly glared at Joe, who remained oblivious. But when their tour guide returned and told them it was time to continue, Joe stood up first, and Jack couldn’t hold it in any longer.

He let out a laugh, shaking his head as he turned to Lando.

—Mate, you idiot. Joe’s not Amelie’s boyfriend— Jack said, grinning.

Lando’s expression didn’t change immediately, his confusion evident.

—What?—

—He’s with Elysia— Jack clarified, and he swore he saw Lando physically relax.

—Oh— Lando said, blinking. Then, after a beat, —Oh.—

Jack laughed again.

—Did you seriously think Amelie was dating an NFL quarterback?—

Lando groaned, running a hand down his face.

—Shut up.—

Jack grinned. This had just made the entire trip ten times more entertaining.

[canichangemyblogname]

The political compass isn’t a perfect measure of political alignment, but it did help my father finally conceptualize where he sits relative to the people he used to vote for (Republicans).

Years ago, I came home from college for break and had all my family take the political compass quiz. The quiz frustrated my very anxious and wildly neurodivergent father who either wanted to answer “it depends” on every-other question or throw his hands in the air and shout, “No one would honestly pick these other answers! They’re immoral!” Neither of those were actual options, tho.

When we all got done taking the test, my father and I were the furthest left on the compass, situated firmly in the bottom left of the box. He was shocked to see how close he was to me in his results, as I had nearly given him a heart attack a year earlier after telling him I was a communist at just a semester into college. So he asked me where Joe and Trump sat on the compass. And I explained how they would both sit firmly at the top of the top right quadrant.

He was genuinely shocked. He was shocked that his politics were so dramatically different than the people he was voting for. And he was shocked that, despite how dramatic the differences between his politics and ideology and my own, we were closer to each other in our alignment than he was to the president at the time, Trump.

He hasn’t looked at politics and his political alignment the same since.