#Like sir you look very cool and I love your voice and design | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seancekitsch · 8 months ago

Note

Can we have more Vox and Assistant! Reader? Maybe based on the headcanon you had involving Val?

i think im gonna make this a little series hehehe

warnings: rough smut, dom vox, aphrodisiacs, val getting cucked, sort of unethical power dynamics, bondage, etc

“More toys for us, Big Vee?” you ask, scooting further back from the edge of Vox’s bed as you make room for the box Val sets down, tucking your legs under you as you do.

Vox scowls in your direction as he slides his suspenders down his shoulders.

“Don’t call him that,” he tells you, only to be met by your smirk. Despite his clear annoyance, Vox still takes the time to scan his eyes up and down your body, already delightfully wrapped in blue and red lingerie he had Velvette design just for you. You meet his gaze in a challenge.

“Why not? He’s taller than you. Big Vee.”

You know you’re playing with fire here, between your teasing and the absolutely shit eating grin you can see on Valentino’s face from the corner of your vision. Valentino laughs as Vox’s screen twitches in anger. This is all part of your game, though. Push Vox too hard and… well, he’s gonna go ballistic on you. Your grin only grows as your boss seethes next to the box and his business partner.

“Careful, Princesa,” the taller Vee warns, picking through the box before he pulls out a set of what look like handcuffs on a leash and a bottle with no label, “Daddy doesn’t like brats.”

Vox snatches the handcuffs from Valentino, his free hand held out and waiting. Without protest, you offer both of your wrists to him while you smile up at him sweetly. He’s right, Vox doesn’t like brats; which is why you’re usually not this bold, but Vox worked you hard today and you like to play with him.

Vox works diligently in fastening the restraints around your wrists, careful not to have them too tight around you. He’s learned the hard way, with one of your first trysts ending with him rubbing cream into your torn up wrists in the bathroom through begging apologies. Vox likes his toys, Vox keeps extremely good care of them. H gives a testing tug, his eyes flickering to you for confirmation. It’s moments like this where you see a glimmer of hope in Vox, like maybe he has a heart, maybe he’s a good man. You let out a breathy laugh as you nod your confirmation to him. They’re just right, and you remind yourself that both you and he are in Hell for very serious reasons. You don’t get where you are currently without a reason.

“Okay, baby?” he whispers, too sweetly. Your smile widens, knowing that this is a ruse. He’s going to fucking wreck you, you just need to let him pretend he isn’t.

Roughly, Vox pushes you over by the shoulder, forcing you onto your hands and knees on the duvet. He throws the other end of the restraints at Valentino, now sat in the chair pulled up to the end of the bed.

“Yank on it if it looks like she’s having too much fun, yeah?” Vox instructs, a cool professional tone crackling in the static of his voice. Now that the restraint is more taut, it resembles a Y-shape, with one set of Val’s hands curling around the far loop. It would work well for being hung from the ceiling, or wrapped up around the bedpost. Vox could have you pinned to the wall in his office with this, bound and waiting for him, ready to be used and -

You’re literally pulled out of your thoughts by Val testing the waters, not enough to knock you off of your hands, but enough to make you wobble. Val’s grin turns hungry, vicious even.

You turn your head quickly from Val’s gaze, something clinical and nerve wracking under it. You’re testing product for him, but somehow any physical reaction of feedback feels embarrassing. Vox has settled behind you, his clothes shed and an unlabeled bottle in his hand.

“Whatcha got there, Sir?” you ask, even though you can guess.

“Topical version of Val’s little love potion,” he focuses on his hands, not meeting your gaze, “just apply where you want sensations to increase.”

He continues looking down as he tosses the bottle on his nightstand and rubs the lube between his fingers, mechanical movements as he then takes a claw to the gusset of your lingerie, ripping it away easily before rubbing it in against your sex. His fingers move between your folds, warm liquid mixing with your own wetness. He speeds up his movements, fingers sliding faster against you as your wetness builds, every once in a while his fingers graze your clit to make you twitch.

As Vox’s fingers move, you’re met with a rising feeling of heat, heat everywhere, and every spot he hits, every graze of his claws sends electric shocks through your veins. Exactly like when Vox shocks you, but without him having to actually do it.

Vox has barely done anything, and yet you’re already a gasping mess in front of him.

Finally he meets your gaze, a smug smirk across his screen as his free hand starts to work the lube onto his cock, the edges of his screen twitching and emitting static as he works himself. You can feel how ready you are for him, practically dripping already. You bet he’ll slide right into you, and tell you what a good slut you are for him.

You throw your head back, ready for him; to fuck you, to grab at you, to manhandle you like the prized possession you are.

Except the familiar stretch of his cock never comes. You shiver with anticipation, body clenching around nothing, wetness growing cold in the space between your bodies.

“Do you think you deserve his cock?” Valentino asks, teasing you again with that smile. Valentino has unlaced his shorts, palming his member through the loosened leather with one of the hands not holding your restraint. Of course, he’s going to get something out of this too.

“Uh huh,” you respond with a dazed nod, mind already hazy and chasing a high.

“Look at her, the brat’s already fucked stupid and she hasn’t even been fucked,” Vox teases, but his voice sounds strained as well. He’s one to talk, you think.

His hands return to you, this time to spread your ass cheeks, baring you to him fully. You’re sure he can see how pathetic you probably look, wet and clenching for him and fully on display.

And then your arms buckle, threatening to collapse you, as the heightened but familiar feeling of that long tongue of his makes contact with your clit. Vox shoves his entire screen against you, tongue teasing and weakening you.

“You don’t deserve my cock until you can prove you’re my good little assistant, until you’re obeying me,” Vox growls between hungry licks to your folds.

“You’re gonna come on what he gives you,” Val taunts, and you really wish you could fuck up his last good antenna. It’s not that you hate your boss’ business partner, but he’s being a real dickhead right now.

Vox’s tongue assaults your cunt, sliding across your folds, right along the edges, prodding against your clit, but never plunging within you. Its torture. Each time the tip of his tongue makes contact with your clit is like a live wire, jolting you and pulling loud whining gasps from your lips. Vox moans against your cunt, openmouthed and unashamed.

His tongue oscillates, moving from side to side over the bundle of nerves without letting up, without mercy. He switches from left to right to up to down, every time you think you’re getting used to it, or hitting a rhythm, he changes it. It’s almost edging, the way Vox is keeping you teetering along the edge, keeping you right on the finish line without crossing it. Vox’s claws dig into your thigh, another loud moan fanning out against you.

And then suddenly the sam breaks, and a high pitched whine tears from your throat, and Vox pulls away to admire his handiwork. You’re sure you can picture his face, you think between shuddering moans, all smug and confident. Vox at his hottest. Shakes rock your frame, as if Vox had actually electrocuted you.

But instead of the soothing motions of his palms along your back, none of that comfort comes.

Pain radiates through your ass, a harsh spank to it rocking you out of your orgasm stupor.

Another spank follows it.

And another.

Another.

You’re sure it’s going to bruise, though you don’t care. Soon, it’ll be just another mark Vox has left on you.

So you close your eyes and take it.

Five.

Six.

Switch ass cheeks.

Seven.

Your eyes are drawn open from the onslaught of the spanks by a weaker slap against your cheek. Opening your eyes you see Val, one hand on your restraint, one hand reached out to slap you again, and a third on his cock, now out and fully hard.

Vox stops.

“Hey,” he snaps at Valentino, “Don’t touch what’s mine.”

Valentino scoffs, and rolls his eyes. Vox presses his palms against the spots where he’s spanked you.

“Well can she at least help me out?” he asks, clearly annoyed.

“If she wants to,” Vox’s voice is cool and collected, rare for Vox’s usual temper.

Valentino holds out his gloved hand, and you graciously spit into it, before watching him wrap that hand around his cock and begin to stroke it slow and lazy.

You turn to look behind you again, Vox’s screen aglow with your wetness glistening across it, his own spit trailing from the corner of his mouth. He looks as fucked up as you’re certain you do, needy and wild.

“Ready, Doll?” Vox asks, as sweet as he could possibly be. Any pretense about your brattiness forgotten, any game you were playing dropped.

You wiggle your ass at him, and he chuckles, soft.

“I cannot wait to be fucking buried in you,” he thrusts against you, tip bumping you and making your composure falter.

“Then fuck me,” you bit back, winking at him.

“Careful what you wish for,” he warns, and pushes himself in until his hips connect with your ass. He relaxes there for a moment, giving you a second to adjust before pulling almost entirely out, his tip catching on your folds.

He slams back in, no mercy for your well spanked ass cheeks, his hips rutting into them recklessly. Your fingers dig into the duvet, struggling to ground yourself. That electrocuted feeling is back, rising embarrassingly quick. Each time hips meet ass a squeak of a moan escapes your lips. Any fight you had in yourself is gone, as long as this feeling between you and Vox stays. You arch your back further into him, contorting yourself for pleasure and chasing your own desire.

But then the feeling of the lush duvet meets your face, and disoriented, you lose your high momentarily. Vox however, groans, loving every second of this. You look up, one set of Valentino’s hands pulling the restraint taut, the other vigorously working his shaft and balls. There’s a sinister grin on his face, obviously getting pleasure in your disorientation. Your hands stretch out in front of you, balling up more of the covers, a better grip than before.

“Fuck you feel amazing,” Vox sighs, “I’m gonna fuckin fill you up, Doll.”

Vox moves faster, starts babbling. You can’t even imagine how this feels for him, if it feels so euphoric for you. The new angle pushes you further, if that was even possible, moaning wantonly into the duvet as you clench around him, gripping at sanity.

“Gonna give you everything,gonna fuckin give you it all,” he rambles, speeding up his thrusting.

Each thrust pushes you up and up and up, the precipice of your high coming closer.

Vox sinks his claws into the top of your ass, anchoring you into place for him as he pistons in and out of you.

The shocking feeling grows more frequent, each time he bottoms out is a total reset of your system.

You come without warning, a harsh whine of a moan and your entire body clamps down on him, harsh and sudden.

You shake in the patterns of an earthquake,one after another after another. Vox holds you through it all, his thrusts slowing as your cunt becomes a vice grip on his cock, coming himself with a shuddering moan, collapsing upon you and savoring the feeling your bodies and fluids connected.

He keeps thrusting, working you both through the high and the comedown with ease, his hips snapping in time and spending all of his energy within you.

Vox only slows when your shaking stops, when your moans stutter out, when you go limp. He holds himself there in you, savoring the moment and the feeling. Euphoric warmth floods you, endorphins rushing below the skin. His hands run up and down your back, hot flat palms to soothe any aftershocks in your muscles.

Vox pulls out slowly, gentle and careful. You can already feel it, mixed spend spilling from you in his absence. He’s made a mess of you, and more than usual. You miss the warmth his body brings, the cool air of the room discomforting.

“Val you gotta look at this,” Vox’s voice is dripping with enthusiasm behind you despite the fact you know he’s as exhausted as you are. He runs the backs of his claws from your ass to your thigh, not a reassuring caress of aftercare, but the way one would admire a trophy. And in your case, a sweaty, messy, bound trophy. You meet eyes with Val, who tucks his now softening member back into his pants, and rises from his chair. The moth demon rounds the corner of the bed, and you can hear the dull thud of his leather glove against Vox’s bare shoulder.

“Oh, espléndida,” Valentino coos, the same tired lustful tone in his voice as Vox carries. Leather of Val’s glove makes contact with the small of your back, and your arch into his touch, but he moves no further. How is it that you still react to this kind of touch even after all of your body feels boneless and not your own?

“I know,” Vox practically moans, and you feel yourself once again constricting, this time around nothing. Fuck, the effect this man has on you. Vox indulges where Val doesn’t, his hand leaving your thigh to cup you between them. You moan, burying your face into the duvet below you as he runs the tip of his clawed finger between your oversensitive folds.

“Definitely good for business, right?” he asks, and you can feel the mixed spend of your releases dripping out of you, “Fuck, baby, you’re something else.”

He says that last part like Valentino isn’t here, like it’s the two of you, special and private. He smears it up between your ass cheeks, before removing his hand from you all together. You try to bury yourself into the blanket even further when you hear the sound of him sucking his own fingers clean. Normally you’d be opening your mouth for a greedy taste yourself, but something about Valentino being here keeps you meek.

“Can we keep this?” he asks his business partner, turning his attention away from you now.

“Of course!” Val booms excitedly, “And I can go ahead on production now that this trial has been a success!”

You slide down, your knees untucking from under you as you nestle further into the warmth of Vox’s navy blue duvet. It’s soft and doused in the same cologne he uses and oh so comforting. Conversation between the two men turns to Val’s business, nothing you actually have to pay attention to as it doesn’t apply to Vox’s schedule.

And then soon enough you feel Vox climb off the bed, hear the closing of a door, the click of a lock, and Vox’s hands return to your back, this time massaging and gentle.

He climbs back onto the bed, his body covering yours as he undoes the clasps of the restraints, pressing his chest against your back. He bends your arms at the elbow, bringing each wrist up against his screen to kiss them, his thumb massaging circles into them. His hands move back up your arms, over your shoulders, and down your back. Vox pushes you over, onto your side to lay on the bed, before laying down himself. You reach out for him in the dimly lit room, running your fingers along the bottom edge of his screen. He glows brighter, his little way of letting you know you have his attention even when he cannot turn to look at you.

“I’m messy,” you whine, but make no move to get up. You’re so spent your limbs feel like they’re made of stone.

“You want me to run a bath?” he asks, already getting up from his spot. He’s still naked, still your vulnerable Vox, something more than your boss.

You nod, jutting out your bottom lip at him. He chuckles as he gathers you up easily in his arms, making a beeline for his bathroom.

“Jacuzzi jets,” you tell him, and he nods vigorously. Of course, he was always going to turn on the jacuzzi jets; They’re your favorite.

Vox crosses the room easily as you wrap your arms around his neck, snuggling into him. He kicks the door to the bathroom open and sets you down on the cool tile of the counter. It soothes your ass, calms the handprint shaped bruises.

“Can I convince you to sleep over tonight, Doll?”

“No need,” you shake your head, a playful smile as he starts the bath, “I doubt I can fuckin’ walk after the number you did on me.”

Vox’s screen flashes, his smile huge.

#vox x reader #vox x reader x val #hazbin vox x reader

257 notes · View notes

sleepiestwizard · 4 months ago

Text

okay im gonna put all my thoughts about the hotguy zinethology on here based on the incoherent ramblings my friends received while i was reading it

(obviously spoilers below the cut)

okay so first of all the first part was SO fucking funny i cried laughing multiple times

the first time i saw cute guy i SCREAMED

HOTGUY TRYING TO GET CUTEGUY TO JOIN HIS UNION AND GRIAN JUST GOING. NAH. WAS SO FUNNY

@cornpapers draws scar SO pretty

mumblr is SUCH a funny name 10/10

the "dont you think cuteguy and hotguy having matching names and outfits is queerbaiting" post is SO FUNNY

THE GRIANVERSE

SHE'S HERE !!!!!!! ARIANA GRIANDE !!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. GRIAN LOOKS LIKE THE SAD HAMSTER

REALLY GOOD PANEL

this whole comic was so funny i loved it loved the cub

THE EMAILS PART WAS ALSO SO FUNNY

this is such an interesting and fun way to tell a story i loved the email part

in general the posts and stuff were SO funny and very realistic for the internet 😭

yeah

grian desperately trying to not let scar reveal his identity 😭😭 girl (this also hits so different now after reading the whole thing btw.)

the comparison to a wild horse in this first fic also killed me

i can't really put a lot of images but there were some really classic superhero comic looking panel that i thoroughly enjoyed

scar tangled in his own grappling hook. classic. very funny

I LOVED THIS FIC SO MUCH. scar voice this is gonna ruin the tour. grian voice what tour. scar voice the world tour.

scar saying he's playing volleyball. haikyuu reference!?!?!?

just putting this here

LOVEDDDD THIS GEM DESIGN

moon mask i immediately called pearl yes pf course

GRIAN REFUSING TO SHOW EACHOTHER THEIR IDENTITIES AGRHRGRHRVH

"you and your cuteguy" arggrgrhsggrgrhgr

murder camel REAL !!

I DIDN'T TRUST THIS FOR A SECOND. PEARL AND HER SOUP I DONT BUY IT

"i cant believe you guys fucking killed jimmy solidarity" <- actual message i sent to mochi

SCOUR KNOWING SCARS NAME. AGRHSGRHRGRHV

i literally had to Go Take A Walk after this fic

i really like how the pearl thing was resolved in this it felt like such a good act 2 reoccurring villain exit. very superhero comic/movie like or even dnd like

'vincent berger' made me laugh

ZEDDIT

MOCHI FIC !!!!

first off every single fic has SUCH a cool cover i love them all

poor grian has ptsd :((

i LOVEEE how mochi writes angst always they're so good at it

the fact that he never found jimmys body immediately made me call the fact that he wasn't really dead and would come back btw

gem would lovee to drive grian slowly crazy tbh

"IVE COME TO PICK UP MY BIRD" AGRHRGRHGRHRVRBTBJRG

JUST LOOK AT THAT GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!!!

i was going insane at this point

this whole zine had me feeling like that meme thats like first i laughed.. then i serioused (the first part was SO funny and then golden era was psychic damage /pos)

IMPULSE :D

GEMPEARL <33 they are so everything to me

SCAR WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE SUSPICIOUS POSSIBLY EVIL FOREIGN TECHNOLOGY ON YOUR BODY. SIR.

NOT THE DESTIEL MEME

they look SO fucking cute

both scar and grian look sooooo scrumptious in this comic argh

THE MIND CONTROL. THE. RHE MIND CONFNTOL.

THESE 2 FULL PAGES ARE ABSOLUTELY SO INSANE. I WAS AND STILL AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

THIS IS SO. GOD THIS

THE WAY GRIAN JUMPED AND SCAR JUMPED AFTER HIM. THEYRE CRAZY !!!!!!!

THE WIPING THE BLOODY NOSE AND THEN SMILING LITERALLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE TOOK THE MASK OFF

mumbo <3

THE HUG. ☹️☹️☹️

great big beautiful tomorrow :((( the parallels :((

GRIAN BEING TOO FLUSTERED BY SCAR KINDA FLIRTING THAT HE DIDN'T REALISE HE WAS DROPPING HINTS ABT HIS IDENTITY WAS SO FUNNY

cutiebird..

scar playing w his hair when cuteguy was hurt :(( so cute

REALLY FUNNY

THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS ☹️☹️

the tcg voice: theyre holding hands.. i want them dead

SKIZZ !!!!

ETHO !!!!!!!!!!

awhh skizzly :((((

THIS IS SO UPSETTING

"It's our Impulse, Gem" IM SO UPSET SHUT UP

god the way she puts on the mask and immediately is emotionless im gonna throw up

OBSESSED. THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME

im so obsessed w this cuteguy i love him

grian voice omg im the only bitch serving cunt in this place im so embarasseddddd

they are serving SO much in this comic

ETHO EYHO ETHO ETHEO

SCAR APPOINTING GRIAN AS LEADER. EARURGRHVRH THEY'RE EVERYTHING

READING THIS WAS SO CRAZY IT LITERALLY FELT LIKE WATCHING ENDGAME

JIMMY SOLIDARITY !!!

MUMBO JUMBO !!!!!

impulse thinking about skizz as he's dying :(((((

HE DID IT ALL FOR SKIZZ :(((((((((

i was so upset this made me sob like a baby

SOUP GROUP :(((

SKIZZLY!!! :(((

warden :/

SCAR PEARL INTERVIEW :( HOTGUY RETIRING :( I LOVE THEM

THE CHEMICAL MUTATING PEOPLE IS JUST ESTROGEN BEING A GIRL JUST DOES THAT TO YOU

grian and scar playing volleyball is that a haikyuu reference....

OH THIS PEARL IN THIS COMIC IS REALLY GOOD

cuteguy is so spiderman coded

GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!! WE'VE COME FULL CIRCLE !!! SOBBING !!!!

god all in all this was so crazy. it was such an obvious labour of love and everyone who was involved with it did such a good job and obviously put so much love into it AND IT WAS WORTH IT !!!! insanely good work thank you to everyone for doing this and sharing it for free?? @hotguycomiczine y'all are crazy. incredible work <333

#hotguy zine #hotguy zinethology #hotguy #cuteguy #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #grian #desert duo #hotguy comics zine #hgcz #ALSO I AM SO BAD AT REMEMBERING NAMES even though i knew a lot of these artists/writers im sorry if i didnt name you guys 😭😭

57 notes · View notes

hellishdeer · 11 months ago

Text

Live reactions and ramblings about the the first four episodes of Hazbin Hotel

Warnings: SPOILERS!!! Incoherent, unfiltered thoughts, I wrote them as I was watching. Most of them are in chronological order, but not all

EPISODE 1:

The origin story of Hell is a cool take on the original tale of Adam and Eve and the animation style is very pretty too (also biblically accurate angels 👀)

Adam is just the ultimate douche, fucking great

NIFTY ZONING OUT WHILE SHE IS BEING FILMED, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT-

Really interesting and fun that Alastor straight up REFUSES to be captured in digital media, distorting it and facing the other way during the commercial

EPISODE 2:

SIR PENTIOUS!!!!

Loved whenever Vox got real close to the screen, it looked like your TV was his face, adored that shit 👌Also the way his voice distorted whenever he was pissed

Alastor went missing around the same time as Lilith... I'm sure that is not going to be at all plot relevant..

STAYED GONE. Vox's part sung/spoken like a TV news anchor, Alastor breaking the fourth wall, the varieties of error screens Vox displayed, and THE BLACKOUT. THAT PART GAVE ME SERIOUS CHILLS Love you Alastor but you're scaring me a little

SIR PENTIOUS PLAYING ALONG WITH CHARLIE AND ACTUALLY ENJOYING HIMSELF AT THE HOTEL I'M SOBBING

"You like me. You actually like me!" 😭❤️

The voice messages Valentino sent were fucking vile, fuck him. I'm now rooting for Angel Dust more than ever before..

Sir Pentious finally has canon hypnosis powers!!

Vox, you're cool and all BUT YOU JUST TOLD SIR PENTIOUS TO KILL HIMSELF WHAT THE FUCK NEVER GO NEAR HIM EVER AGAIN OR I SWEAR-

"Just make it quick, I guess. Not that I deserve it.." VIOLENTLY ILL.

SORRY IS WHERE IT STARTS. Just.. *sobs* Charlie is so fucking sweet, I can't wait for their friendship to grow

EPISODE 3:

"Hello purple female!" PLEASE 💀

The scene where Alastor was eating is a reference o to one Viv's older speedpaints (more specifically this one)

"Are those your ears or your hair? I can't tell!" Egg Bois asking the real questions here-

ZESTIEL. He looks so cool and I love the way he speaks, hopefully were going to see more of him!

"Oh, look! There's Frank!" "...We have names?" PFFFTT-

"If I can't help you, what's the point of me?" 😭😭😭

CARMILLA'S SINGING VOICE BLEW ME AWAY HOLY SHIT-

Vaggie's singing voice being hilariously different to her speaking one

Carmilla implying in her song that she killed the angel to protect her daughters I-😭 That, and she doesn't want the rest of hell to start a war they can't win, she is a protector. She's definitely one of my new favorites.

As Zestiel said, Alastor is unpredictable and his motivations are hard to read, I love how he is written in a way you geniunely can't guess his real motivations you go you sinister deer fellow

SIR PENTIOUS AND HIS MATCHING PYJAMAS WITH THE EGG BOIS AND ALL OF THE SNUGGLING TOGETHER IN HIS COZY ROUND BED- *starts to froth at the mouth*

EPISODE 4:

Nifty just laying there kicking her feet while watching p*rn 😭

SIR PENTIOUS BLUSHING AND COVERING HIS FACE WITH HIS HOOD PLEASE-

Is Pentious seriously so lonely that he watches people sleep...stop making me sad

Angel Dust having the most fire wardrobe 💅

TRAVIS IS THE FUCKING DIRECTOR-

Angel Dust's face when he heard Valentino speaking :(

VALENTINO GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF CHARLIE RIGHT NOW.

VALENTINO'S COAT IS ACTUALLY HIS WINGS?!?! That's a very cool design actually

THE DRESSING ROOM IS FUCKING DISGUSTING, IT'S FINE IF YOU LIKE VALENTINO AS A VILLIAN, BUT IF YOU ACTUALLY STAN HIM AFTER THIS I SWEAR-

The contract being signed as "Anthony" :(((

"I'll get her to leave, just don't hurt her." *cries*

Charlie being ready kick Valentinos ass the SECOND she saw Angel's state LET'S GOOOO

Poison is just.. So beautifully animated, but so very disturbing at the same time.. FUCK. VALENTINO.

THE DOTS UNDER ANGEL'S EYES WERE JUST MORE EYES THIS ENTIRE TIME?!? I'm such a dumbass

Throwing cards as a weapon :O

HUSK USED TO BE AN OVERLORD EXCUSE ME?!?!

"If I get broken enough.. I won't be his favorite toy anymore.. And he'll let me go.." CRYING SOBBING THROWING UP

You're a Loser Baby is fucking pretty and adorable! I finally I see the appeal in Huskerdust 🥹❤️

EXPLODING DICE WOOO!

Just now realized Alastor didn't show up once during this episode.. Wonder what he getting up to 🤔

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #alastor #angel dust #sir pentious #charlie morningstar #vaggie #nifty #husk #hazbin hotel vox #valentino #carmilla carmine #reaction

98 notes · View notes

ponchusjbonchus · 9 months ago

Text

i finished hazbin hotel so here is my master collection of all my silly notes

episode 1

- treat angel dust better and give him actual lines and it’ll be better

- why do the background demons have more variety than the main cast

- opening number is good

- when will jesus appear

- cannibal town is where i wanna live

- i should keep a swear counter for this

- charlie is the best character

- adam shaving down a chicken bone in one bite is really funny

- i like adam his voice actor is doing really good

- all the voice actors are really good. except keith david poor guy

- angel dust sexually harassing husk is not funny

- if adam is a human who sins then why is he in charge of the angel exterminators

- nifftys commercial bit is funny

- alastors monocle is on his mouth in some shots and it’s funny

- i like the foreshadowing of alastor hating tv

- lutes design. heart emoji

- adams song goes hard as fuck. very likeable villain

- “fuck you i do what i want” contract made me giggle

- i feel like all the main characters except for charlie and alastor are really one note and it bugs me

- katie killjoy is still awesome

- the cliffhanger is really intriguing and i will watch more

final score 8/10 despite the bad dialogue for angel

episode 2

intro song is good but the visuals are boring

what is this cat. who

why is the animation worse in this episode

paused to read valentino’s texts and the way he sways from calling angel a bitch to calling him babe and being like “don’t be like this” that is like.yeah that’s accurate

foreshadowing is good

JESUS APPEARED (sir pentious)

“trust us with your money” 😭

not really resonating with any characters. vox has the best character design so far though

velvette is really entertaining

valentino’s voice actor is good and his jokes are somehow better than angels. still a horrible person and i hope he gets exterminated

vox is really interesting and the thing his voice does is cool . i REALLLY wanna like this guy but so far i like adam better

second time seven years has been mentioned . what happened

WHILE HE HID IN RADIO WE PIVOTED TO VIDEO NOW HIS MEDIUM IS GETTING BLOODY RARE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️vivienne be damned but the girl can write a song

alastor fucking with vox after seeing him for seemingly no reason is really funny and in character . though funny it doesn’t really fit into the episode that smoothly

hell being shaped like a pentagram is creative (side note when i looked up the name for it cuz i couldn’t remember the third result was “what is the star thing called”)

alastors angry demon design looks better than his regular design

i love sir pentious so much he’s so cute

pentious and charlie are my favorites so far. i know pentious is a double agent but knowing him from the pilot/what we’ve seen in this episode i feel like he’s gonna be dumped by the vees cuz he’s a pathetic wet slop of a man

the crackhead play joke is really funny

angel dusts jealousy came out of.Nowhere. like i know charlie was saying like “hey you aren’t really a real resident” and he was mad about the game but it felt more like “ugh i can’t stand these people” not “ugh i wish i could be redeemed and people cared about me.” it was hinted at just not very well

angel being lovebombed is portrayed.Fine.ly like it’s realistic but not outstanding . it would mean more if valentino wasn’t making lighthearted jokes about how he kills and manipulates his workers

pentious’ tail is randomly shrinking and growing

the camera work in the fight scene is Awful

pentious :-(

first time in a while i have heard a show say you should kill yourself NOW

imagine pentious immediately goes to heaven after the song /silly

final score 8/10 only because of pentious. overall episode is 7/10

episode 3

pentious still being peak right off the bat. he gets the funniest jokes

alastor still isn’t very funny

angel dust isn’t funny booooooo boooooooooo

vaggie centric episode? i think? idk i don’t like vaggie she’s kinda boring

niffty is less funny than she was in previous episodes. she feels more remnant of internet “dark humor” from the time the pilot released

okay i ended up watching the rest of this one during gym class so i didn’t have my notes. overall this episode was really good except for velvette kinda sucking . 7/10

episode 4

this isn’t the poison episode is it.

animation is noticeably worse

vaggies plain ass delivery of the “angel. what the fuck” line made me laugh

i thought the cold open of angel getting r worded would be a way of showing that his life is really fucked up.though it was just a joke bit which i was not expecting

pentious cowering in fear at pornography

i really like charlie. kk said that she was one note and .i kinda agree but i still love her

this one demon has a better design then the entire main cast

angels real name is anthony 😭

okay the dressing room scene . the fear in angels voice through all of it is so jarring and it keeps you invested in the scene and Val being so fuckinh disgusting and evil . how do people like this guy at all. this scene is so creepy not just cuz of val being abusive but because of how horrified Angel is and the moment he asks the bare minimum of val not hurting charlie his life is put on the line. i feel like this was treated with the weight it deserves and it clearly paints val as a villain. unfortunately it’s tainted by the fact that the writers are aroused by this shit but they do a good job of hiding it i guess. maybe this will change

it bothers me so much that angels head keeps randomly changing in size cuz all the animation is freehand

poison. im gonna be careful and respectful on how i go about talking about this . i actually really like this song and sequence but it’s brought down so bad and made so beyond creepy and horrifying to know that the writers are into this. i like the constant parallel of angel being his porn actor persona who loves sex and his abused reality where he wants to be free. and the scene where he’s dancing in front of a screen with the foxes intercut with his assault is really uncomfortable yeah but i like how it shows that he’s turning his own abuse and exploitation into entertainment . and the line “it’s so hard to resist another gulp!” or however it goes has a nice double meaning . it’s like “ughhh i love sex how could i resist it” but also “i want to resist but im so deep into this that i can’t” . i am not a sexual assault survivor so i don’t feel properly equipped to go into depth about the representation of angels ongoing abuse but from a PURELYcinematic standpoint as someone with a passion for this stuff i feel like this song did well, but again it’s made so much worse and creepier knowing the writers who made this

the spots under angels eyes are more eyes??.huh

sorry for the lack of notes i am just. genuinely invested in this

BEST SONG 💥💥💥yeah maybe i knew all the words to this song before i ever watched th show what are you gonna do about it

ohhi don’t really. like the message of that song actually 🙁 it has been established that angel dusts pervertedness and desperation for drugs is not who he really is nor who he likes to be but husk telling him “hey it’s okay to be like that” and angel immediately coming around to it just feels.ehhh…..it feels like he’s taking one step forward and two steps back . i get that the message was supposed to be “embrace the bad parts of yourself! it’s okay to be a loser!” but in the context of the episode it doesn’t fit. good song in a vacuum

iiiidont really know how to feel about this. the episode was great up until loser baby which,is a song that i really like but it kinda does kill the whole episode imo. 5.5/10 unfortunate

episode 5

halfway through the series who cheered

adam mention. win (adam and pentious are my favorites )

i hate niffty im sorry 💔 she was better in the pilot

dude. lucifer is so fucking funny right off the bat i love this guy

is this guy autistic he feels autistic i like him

lucifer is peak character oh my god

why is??? alastor trying to fight lucifer for charlies dad figure??? i don’t understand this guy he just does shit

this is the character norm called out for being a jewish stereotype. and god i can see it jesus

i love and hate mimzy. she’s ehh

okay nevermind i do kinda get alastors jealousy

i cannot express how good a character lucifer is. he is the funniest part of this show so far by a LOOOONG shot

pentious does not know what a siege is apparently. honestly fitting

mimzy served zero purpose dawg i hope this was just an intro and she comes back at some point

baby charlie ❤️

meaning-wise more than anything is the best song we’ve gotten thus far. through the episode i didnt rlly understand lucifer i just thought he was funny but now i get it! and i love it

this episode was okay. alastor and mimzy take up way too much screen time for barely anything to happen but lucifer was an awesome character and i love him a lot . unfortunately he can’t save this episode though 6/10

episode 5

this yuri tastes like chicken salad but not the good kind

i despise cherri

praying that pentious has a role in this one

white man jumpscare THATS SUPPOSED RO HE SAINY BETER

the seraphims look sick as hell

emmy and charlie have more chemistry than charlie and vaggie im losing it

why do the angels look exactly like the demons

saint peter is .Stupid?????

ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JOY

charlie should be in heaven. she doesn’t deserve being in hell

vaggie backstory! hooray this is actually sick as hell

how did charlie not know that vaggie was a fallen angel if she saw her in uniform ?? wouldn’t she recognize that “hey that’s the outfit angels wear”

adam is a bitch and i love him so much

karen joke (awful)

websters dictionary joke (not as awful)

adam struggling to think of words so he writes them down,,,,god i love him so much i know he’s a bad guy and a bad person and a bad. he’s just bad all around but i don’t care i love him so dearly he’s my favorite character i think

niffty is better in this episode

WATERBOARDINH 😭😭

emily i love

“fuck yes!!!” oug or character

i want pentious to get into heaven. please

angel being a good father

the delivery of “hey……….i see the club has a sex room…………” is fucking hilarious and i laughed out loud

i have laughed more at this episode than i have the entire series pentious is so funny

valentino. gross

angel standing up to valentino is really nice

why doesn’t emily have a nose

why are we having a deep song with emily as soon as we meet her???? i mean it’s technically not her song or sera’s but like. we JUST met them it doesn’t rlly make sense for them to have this big number

yeah it’s really bothering me that emily has this big number. we barely know these people and they’re treating it like we’ve known her forever WHO IS THIS GIRL

if hell is forever then heaven must be a lie 💥💥

I CANT THID RUCKING FACE

i hate this episode a lot more the writing is worse

okay. the writing is noticeably worse than the rest of the series in this episode the pacing is completely fucked. at least we get some adam content and vaggie lore but vaggie isn’t rlly a character i enjoy. however the humor is peak in this episode and pentious really carries it with his running bit. he can’t save much of the episode sadly. 4.5/10

episode 7

the more i watch the intro i really don’t like it . it’s so boring

pentious petting keykey

i dont like alastor bad character bad character whenever he’s on screen i want to kick something

cannibal town ‼️‼️

awwwwwi love rosie. she’s like mimzy but better and more likeable

i wanna make a cannibal oc. if i were in this version of hell i would wanna be a cannibal. this whole area makes me happy

rosie didn’t swear ONCE in her opening scene im so proud of the writers

i really like carmilla’s design and her stupid nsr hands

if helluva boss is in the same universe as this one then why don’t they go through extermination ??? or is that like. an au

rosie is so cute i love her so much.

susan is such an underwhelming name that’s so funny

this episode is much better

i know that this show doesn’t have the best writing but it’s honestly just a fun watch

out for love is the best number we’ve had so far

carmilla walks around in steel ballet shoes all the time i gotta respect the woman

rosie’s first swear came 2/3rds into the episode. new record

i relate to charlie

I LOVE ROSIE.SO MUCH uuhg$hd,s

charlie’s song is really nice

the cannibals are the best part of the show. easily

SHE GOT SUSAN 🔥🔥

vaggie getting her wings back . i love

this is easily the best episode so far. both musical numbers were great and vaggie and charlie being apart and their stories being intercut only for them to come together at the end was amazing. cannibal town is absolutely amazing and perfect and there was a noticeably less amount of swearing. 9/10, praying that the finale is this good too

episode 8 (finale)

is this technically just a part 2 to episode 7

PENTIOUS DRESSED LIKE A GENERAL.AW

i love vox he’s so goofy . i wish he appeared more

charlie’s message is really nice i love her a lot but it was kinda ruined by niffty

cherri makes everything worse

angel dust’s development is nice

pentious being forced into a hetero love with cherri,,,blehh this is the most aroace guy ive ever seen

mini more than anything reprise with charlie and vaggie is really sweet .

ADAM 💥💥💥SICK ASS NEW OUTFIT BRO

adam is still the best character in this show. “chill lute fuck” i adore alex brightman

the battle outfits are cool

alastor finally doing something helpful

gyat DAMN adam. awooga

vox’s stupid dance

alastor saying nuh uh to the person trying to murder him is funny

i don’t want to kin adam but i Do. i Do he’s Awesome

while it interrupts the action vox watching and cheering as alastor nearly dies is super funny

okay Actually dies then

i am enjoying this so much

SIR PENTIOUS CLUTCH 💥💥

adam is the best character in the whole fuckinh show him oneshotting pentious is hilarious . i know he goes to heaven and doesn’t rlly die i think

what happened to the angels fighting with reckless abandon??vaggie is getting her shit rocked

GET FUCKED LUTE

ewww adam is a white guy.ew put the mask back on

lucifer and adam interaction this is just peak

why aren’t the angels going after the rest of hell once they realize that they’re screwed

adam without the mask is fugly

HE .HE DIES ??WHAY YHE FUCK

the hotel:(

“the ultimate sacrifice” i love pentious a lot but HE DIDNT DO SHIT BRO 😭

i choose to believe that lilith divorced lucifer because lucifer was a gay man and she was a lesbian

why is cherri a main character now i dony. ew

alastor is alive ! boo

bro thinks he’s jack skeleton

husk being mad when he sees that alastor is alive is funny

WHAT THE FUCK

VOX GET A JOB. STAY AWAY FROM HIM

sir pentious gets into heaven :) thaht makes me happy

season finale! this was a phenomenal episode to end of a good series, though ill be real i don’t know if having a second season is a good idea. most if not all of the conflicts are resolved among the main cast. ending it off with pentious getting into heaven is amazing though. episode is a 9/10 it was funny and engaging and really fun all around.

overall score for the series is a 7.5/10 i really enjoyed it

22 notes · View notes

judging-films-of-all-kinds · 4 months ago

Text

Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen

I haven’t seen this one a long time, but I remember it better than the first one

Optimus is back in the intro

“Our worlds have met before.” Not haunting at all

That title was quick and smooth!

“Suck my popsicle!” Hahah nice

“His here. I smell him.” I wonder how that works

OH THAT IS A BIG ONE Lol the twins really are brothers

“Man I’m good.” Yes you are Irionhide

OPTIMUS PRIME HERE WITH THE SICK LANDING

“Pull over!” …. Lol Optimus thank you for keeping your sense of humor

“You’ll learn that in college too.” Sir what else did you learn?

Wow… They really made her sit like that to paint the bike. Taking points from that

Love how they show the symbols being planted into Sam’s brain. That is really cool

Oh great, the blender is alive. Just what we need! Wait… did they just-? They did! Omg the adult jokes in this movie XD

And they just fixed the yard too! Poor Bee just wanting to help

“I want a pool and hot tube! I’m going to skinny dip and you can’t say shit!” Starting to think someone was a bit wild back in her day lol

“You are an autobot! You shouldn't be living in my dad’s garage. You are suffocating.” Awww Sam

….. Huh okay not expectating Sam to touch Bee’s chin to make him look at him

Sam you aren’t normal and never will be

No idea if Bee is being dramatic or he really is crying. Either way I’m glad it was added to the movie

“I love you, Bee.” and he loves you too Bee

Wow Sam you can tell Bumblebee you love him but not your girlfriend?

Wheelie :3

DUDE!! Soundwave’s design is so cool! A one of a kind big time

As a sibling I have heard and said “It’s meant to hurt!” after causing harm to sibling

It’s actually nice that they added the coffins being taken off the plane to show that death is still a huge threat in this movie

As Optimus transforms the music is not holy but more upbeat like a hero kind of deal. Very fitting

“God made us in his image. Who made him?” Good and fair question. Humans always think they are so amazing till we meet something greater then ourselves

“Don’t tempt me.” Yeah I got mad for you buddy. Don’t disrespect the people that fight for you

I love Optimus looking down at him and saying, “Easy.” He knows he was getting angry. Optimus knows his comrades, even his human ones

“What if we leave, then you are wrong.” THE SOUNDTRACK! That fits so well with his low key warning

“That’s a good question” Awww he's such a cutie!

Sam meeting his new human bestie :D

DID THE PAPPER THIN CON CUT THROUGH THAT GUY?!

“What size shoe you have?” Haha Sam the Sass Queen is back lol

I love how Optimus main goal is to keep earth safe. He doesn’t want to watch it be ruined like his own home was. Sam just wants to be normal. He doesn’t want this. While they are talking, soft music is playing. Showing the burden both carry and what awaits them.

MEGATRON LIVES AGAIN Okay this is really cool. We see Megatron put Starscream in his place. Then we see him showing respect to The Fallen. Going as far as calling him master. The Fallen even calls him “my disciple”

I wonder how The Fallen knew that Sam has the knowledge now

Man the CGI in this movie is so good

Poor Sam. He has all that knowledge in his head and his mind can’t handle it

“You're such a little girl!” “I’m not talking to you for ten seconds.” Yeah I wouldn’t either. Good on you Sam.

What I love about Megatron is that his voice is creepy and yet gentle

Sorry I had to skip the worm part. That was just gross. That lost points for me lol

GET HIM OPTIMUS

The slow down for the bullet is so good

The chanting as the cons chase Optimus and Sam is so good

Why did Sam jump over the log like that?

“I’ll take you all on!” and cue the uplifting music

That head rip is sooo good

“Sam! Where are you?!” You can hear the fear in his voice. All he knows is Sam has already been taken or worse

“Sam, run. Run..” Even in his last moments Optimus is worried about Sam

Man… I can’t even imagine the guilt Sam must be feeling at that moment…

Sam watching the news with such pain on his face…. He just wanted to be normal

I love the twins so much lol

DON”T DROP OPTIMUS PRIME LIKE THAT

I hate that guy

Yes please give Sam a hug. Sam this isn’t your fault. This will never be your fault

“Don’t tell my mother.” Said every child in history

Ha! Wheelie is the best again. Wait, is that even his name?

I love how no one bothered to check if the old fart was a con or a bot lol

I love the sound Jetfire makes as he wakes up. His such as old fart, I love him

HA! Leo pushing Wheelie away while they are hiding

Grumpy old man on the run! “It’s a choice. It’s an intensely personal decision. So much negativity. Who wants to live a life full of hate.” Old man spiting knowledge

“His faithful, Sam.” Girl I love you but what happened wasn’t Sam’s fault

Wheelie stop humping her you horn dog

“I have my own issues! It started with my mother!” Me too buddy

“Do you know what he transformed into?!” “No!”

“Nothing!”

Haha I love this movie so much

Haha everyone is going flying. Well done Jetfire

MORE LORE

“Only a Prime can defeat The Fallen.”

“Optimus Prime?”

“So, you’ve met a Prime?”

I’m not crying! I have sand in my eyes!

Man Jetfire’s excitement about hearing a Prime was on Earth is so sweet. He sounds really young with how excited he is.

Grandpa pointing out the obvious

“Scared? Scared of your ugly face!” “I’m ugly? Well, we’re twins, you stupid genius!” Perfect sibling insults

Bumblebee is “I don’t care who started it! I’m finishing it!” Big brother at work lol

Oh god the siblings fighting was useful for once

Ohhh that soft haunting sound… Music is stunning as always

It gets louder once the matrix is seen

Sam not giving up is so.. Man… Once he believes in something, he will not back down from it

BAD BOYS ARE HERE Go Jetfire! He still got it! “I’m too old for this crap.” Me everyday

The balls that started it all

Oh no! Sam! The soft music, the faded voices, everything slowed down… Then you hear his parents' cries. All they know is that their son is hurt. They don’t know he's gone.

Then there is Bumblebee. They let us see his pain. They let us hear it too.

The Primes coming to Sam is awesome. They let him know why he is there. Answering his question. Low key telling him his prime. “The Leadership of the Matrix isn’t found. It is earned.”

Aw he finally tells her that he loves her

Of course he came back for you Optimus! You died saving him!.... They died saving each other…

Jetfire’s joy at seeing Optimus makes me smile again

Damn The Fallen is powerful

Oh Jetfire… No! Your death will not go in vain!

Optimus can fly now. This is going to be fun~ “Die like your brother!” “They are your brothers too!”

Totally not giving me headcanon ideas

The soundtrack once again being soooo good! Megatron calling out for Starscarem after losing half of his face is interesting

“Give me your face!” and “I rise. You fall.” Are cold af lines and I love them so much

The fight is a bit short but I don’t mind. It’s gore fixes it for me

“Cowards do survive.” That is true. Sometimes in order to win, you must survive first

Yes! Thank you for letting the parents hug Sam. They watched him die and come back! Like man! They need therapy after that

Optimus and Sam standing next to each other is so cute! Dad and son vibes lol

Yay! Sam gets to go to college!

I will rank this movie as 9.5/10

#transformers #transformers movie #movie review #sam witwicky #optmus prime #starscream #the fallen #bumblebee

10 notes · View notes

catwyk · 6 months ago

Text

ok i finished malevolent season 1 and i have a LOT of thoughts that im gonna write down becausr im bored. spoilers for season 1 and warning for me being a picky listener !

first off. HARLAN GUTHRIE THE MAN THAT YOU ARE. insane that this guy is doing ALL the voices?? AND all the writing??? AND all the editing and sound design????? WHAT the fuck. honestly the fact that hes (almost) the only guy working on this podcast kind of negates all my gripes n nitpicks

i LOVE the arthur/john dynamic. it reminds me a lot of venom and eddie brock but its def distinct. and its great

i rlly appreciate the amount of guidance john gives arthur, i think more would be realistic but tedious so this is a good compromise

now. speaking of realism. my main gripe

(i feel like this is gonna be a very subjective take so yknow dont take it too seriously)

two main things kind of bother me: arthur recovers from major injuries SUPER QUICKLY, and in 12 episodes he has only eaten once. yknow that post where someone's talking about their immersion in period pieces being broken by the chicken breeds bein wrong? this is very much how i feel LMAO like ok theres a supernatural healing element (this too shall pass) fine yep good. but arthur should NOT have been up and walking and ROWING so soon after a month of coma. he loses a shitload of blood from his abdomen TWICE and sure he has major reactions but after that he just sort of. keeps going. and not to mention THIS GUY DOESNT EAT HOW IS HE HEALING!!!!! SIR!!! YOUR MACROMOLECULES SIR!!!!!

obviously if we were with him every single time he eats and for every second of his recovery it would absolutely drag so im not expecting him to be seeking out food every episode but this is another compromise issue that i feel like isnt as well balanced as john being arthur's seeing eye eldritch god

but again this is probably just a case of me being sensitive to certain parts of realism that other people arent so this is very much a nick picking complaint

as for the writing, i rly like the diegetic framing of the narration as john describing any given situation to arthur

however i think an unfortunate symptom of this is that sometimes the narration feels overly descriptive and eloquent in situations where it shouldnt be. like when theyre being attacked by the amphibious river creature, john says something like "stomach and ventral area", which was honestly. So unexpected it took me out of the scene entirely i was just like he would not fucking say that lol

another thing is sometimes the tension building does not work at all. the rising strings feel too cliché to have any real effect, and the way john speaks about horrors can get repetitive to the point where it just doesnt bother me. "fuck. arthur.... there's *something* in the water/in the room/hunting us". that kind of vagueness doesnt work well for me a least anyway, but when its happening every episode or more it really gets old

anyway that being said i think those are my only real complaints and i think theyre so subjective anyways so like do they even count

also im heartbroken im unable to stop myself looking up spoilers bc the john is the king on yellow reveal would have been so cool if i didnt know it was coming

and the fanart. is so fucking good

#this is such a good podcast im having a good time thumbs up #malevolent #malevolent.txt #harlan guthrie #catwyk.txt

12 notes · View notes

prestonmonterey · 1 year ago

Text

camp here and there thoughts

considered spamming my friend, but instead ill put stuff here.

this is all my thoughts from as im listening to it, btw

sydney and jedidiah are quincent confirmed?!! (not clickbait)

i will literally eat up any character named rowan no questions asked

the first bit with the penguins reminds me of burrows end

one of my favorite silly weird things is time going past the numbers it should (reminds me of everything is fine. i think it was like, the first episode? digital clock goes from 2:59 to 2:60? super cool, love it)

"let us live to die another day" (will you live to see tomorrow or die another dayyy// once a spy always a spy.... sorry, sorry)

i love that theres emojis in the transscripts

i feel so bad for the vegans at camp

mentions of apocalypse? a character called rowan? (you know what time it is folks: obscure lyric references!!!! (my beautiful apocolypse, if i asked you to be mine, would our purposes align?) again, sorry. ill stop. no i wont.)

woo! sydney feelings hour!

i love syndey telling his tape recorder not to tell anyone about his hallucinations

ok random thing i just noticed the titles have like part of the one before them and part of the one after and thats just pretty cool

why is the sky always bad

sydney being very normal about death and jedidiah bein like 'no' is also very quincent

interesting the 'when you die you will rot' is a recurring thing

sydeys laugh is so cute i love himmm

ok so theres like a spider cabin, moth cabin, ladybug cabin and BATTLE CABIN?

children being bribed by sugar is one of the most realistic parts of this

ok but the distinction between reanimation and true necromancy is actually really cool

sydney as much as i love you why the heck did you say thick like that

(when youre a ghost recorder, no one knows your name, but they wont try to stop you if you arent playing the game)

'our bedroom' actually screaming

the voice acting is such yum

again, sydneys noncholance about death related things

omg gay?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor jedidiah is so pathetic and bbg

for the record i hate oposite day too

gasp: a navarro (makes sense shes a tyrant) (im refrencing gentlemens guide to love and murder? i think? i dont even know at this point)

i love that all of ep 5 is sydney being too extra and jedidiah being the most exasperated

ok so maybe the implication is that matthew isnt human, but also ppl can have extra color cones, but only afab ppl bc color cones are in the x chromosome (thats also why men are more likely to be color blind) so trans matthew hc now

sydney are your eyes ok??

justice for sydneys fancy soap

if someone does magic and hurts sydney i will cry

ok so now with confirmation that they use analog clocks i really wana know what they look like

also i was thinking about why the music from last ep reminded me of something v specific and i think its yokai watch?

"babe" ok theyve got to be gay right???

sydneys allergic to seeing goo? interesting

father time? a bastard? omg you know what time it is (hehehe time bastard)

sydney and jedidiah are so cute im actually going to die

aww i want lava cake w real lava :( (fun fact by strange definition water is technicaly a form of lava)

ok so the amount of wholesomeness makes me think something bad is going to happen

"theyre penny loafers :("

rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan!!!

the audio design is so yummy idk if i said that already

(uhh i accidentaly skipped most of ep six so back to that)

(the elephant man is just dead ambrose and sydney is vincent if they werre better at communicating)

"worms arent people" uh, YES THEY ARE, rude.

jedidiah whatever your project is it cant be so important that you havent played chess with your bf in A COUPLE OF YEARS wtf

(ok now to regularly scheduled friendship goo)

sydney calling the camper different animals is one of my favorite things

why is the sky always fucked up

"scary things like...men" sir you are men (but also same i am so scared of men and also are men)

jeDIDiah lmao

"your husband" and sydney just goes with it

ok but why is sydney slowly giving more and more louis taopp vibes (plz dont be like him)

i love casual loredrops about chocolate shortages

"friends" sure.. sure.

ok... so sydney did know that jedidiah had pics of him in his office? bc they used to be on the corkboard/?????

poor bb sydney is sad that his husband isnt telling him things

"[Scoffs] Friend. As if we’re not… we’re not… [Sighs] we’re not." noo im gonna actually cry (i am- i was... i'm supposed to be the best/ref)

i wanna see sydneys haunted house and skeleton cat drawings :(

"Put the Silly Putty back. You don’t need more Silly Putty." (my friends @ me when i watch another musical) (myself @ me when i eat another one of rowans fandoms >:3)

"co-nurse" idk if hes actually the assistant or not but i think sydney calls him that bc control? bc he wants power

also jedidiah uses am and pm which is interesting bc i dont think sydney does

ok now i get why sydney doesnt like joshua

the trivia sections of fan wikis are my favorite thing on this planet. "it is unknown whether or not the color green exists"

btw they actually mention green eggs and ham in ep 1 so i think its at least a concept

i still hc trans matthew. no fan wiki can take that away from me >:(

juniper daddy issues confirmed??

"Well, we can — petition her!" (i will try to petition my father/ref sorry sorry sorry)

Wait, one more: Cunt. (uuh, fucker /ref. will anyone even get that one? its filled my brain. i dont remember any quotes before or after... it's taopp. uh, the scene with louis and jason in the hallway or something)

we love sydney trauma dumping 2 mins into an ep

i wonder if he sometimes forgets hes broadcasting to a bunch of middle schoolers

i wonder if joshua knows that middle schoolers arent usually 14

i love that sydney doesnt know what oatmeal is

sydney: if only my husband would play 20 dimensional chess w me :(

"Lucille has a flamethrower. You have to listen to what she says." the only lesson ever

natsume def has parent issues

just remembered that the trees produce defensive slick

i want teethh flowers :(

"and I fear that the end is near." (the end is coming, the end is coming! /ref)

"as sweet, and patient, and motherly, and forgiving as she is" so... not at all?

i love the silly old timey music omg its so fun

gasp cannon date. thats crazy. someone better have a timeline theory bout this.

aww no teeth flowers? :(

im concerned about sorens stones

is the ticking clock new? it feels new

oh huneee :(

just remembered the notes in the description. thats lore, right? prolly im too lazy to check.

Word to the wise: you ever come across that statue, do not look her in the eyes. (the fact that it rhymes too) (someone should make a cover of a word to the wise but with this line) (please?)

matthew appreciation time

sydney mommy issues?

jesus heck how many cabins are there?

is that what the pebbles were for???? im still scared.

sydney's silly drum roll gives me life

im actually so in love with matthew

sacrificial rituals, yay!

D: can they just be gay and happy? please?

they better get happy >:(

the spooky is rly goodd tho

mommy issues: the episode?

again, we love sydney trauma time before minute 3 of the episode

mila is a theater kid confirmed?!

sydney it seems like theres alot to unpack about your mom...

i dont think i want to know what horn sap is

"It’s all very delightful, b-but quite strange" idk the way he says that line is so vincentcore

im v worried for marie ann

"Don’t worry — they aren’t real ants. But it is a real log! " honestly id rather eat ants than a whole tree

"bending over to whisper in my ear." sydney is a short king <3

ohh the centipedes

i love the contrast of ideas its super spooky.

“I’ve just got to do better,” (never let yourself rest, they can try to despise you, but not your success) (also ambrose vibes. idk, but like maybe jedidiah has a similar 'if im perfect then people will finally love me' thing goin on?)

“Give me a hard time, okay? We both deserve that.” (more ambrose vibes)

i think hes looking for validation from lucille?

i like that the va's voice patterns makes it clear when hes talking quietly even though the audios still at the same volume

"I know I’ve constructed a few effigies in my time. " (effigies of the god appolo, dickweed /ref)

"There is a clear block of resin on my desk with a centipede inside. He wants to swap places with me. Lately, I am tempted to let him." spooky

(last couple eps had, like, news broadcasts at the beginning? idk if its been like that the whole time, but probably lore stuff.)

o no is it rock time? (also soren sounds like such a cartoon character i cannot get over it)

is mother of stones the reanimation lady from the death fields or whatever?

i love that the only actually vegan thing given to the vegans so far is assorted leaves

i have a feeling that normal day might not be normal...

idk why would worshiping a statue of stones to be reborn into a second life in the middle of the forest be illegal?

ohh its bc normal day i already forgot/

" Un-resurrect? Un… resurrect… Were we going to “surrect” the rabbit?" (i prefer 'mercy killing' /ref)

i want juniper and joshua rivals to lovers/rivals to friends content. just putting that out there.

sydney just kill the rabbit

ok the fact that sydney is worried about this death-related thing is really unsettling

aoisfeorgijefmoigjt4ri4tgoirjjitog this is so spooky i love it so much

sydney needs proper therapy

"I know I’m beating a dead horse, but the guy wants something from me, and he does something to me, and I don’t like that he just gets to be around no matter how much I protest!" (grace when max)

and it all comes back to control

poor baby boy

:(((((((((((((((((((((((

(poor boy, tormented /ref)

why he bri'ish

nevermind i dont want juniper content anymore

"jeddie, m'boy"

why does anyone like him

yes, yes rowan is handsome

himbo juniper, but i still hate him

"it’ll steal all your nutrients until you wither and die!" (its infectious, its deadly, its one to be feared /ref)

"I’ve always wanted to be killed by something that loved me." dont. dont say that sydney.

soren is the dark magic sugar daddy of camp. prove me wrong.

"Would a child really do that? Just come to Summer Camp and tell lies?" yes. they would.

song? song!!!!

if this isnt on the soundtrack imma be pissed

idk how to explain this, but salems voice is really sharp

i certainly dont want to know what ostrich cream is...

if this makes sydney bottle up his feeling and muck up his relationship with jedidiah more im not gonna be happy

(ok so i was just informed that its going to get worse and,, i dont know how to emotionally prepare myself.) (also its past 10:30 pm so bear with me if my thoughts get a lil incoherent. as if they ever were coherent)

cant remember if this happens with sydney too but theres static when jedidiah says the time. interesting

so sydneys smoke thing is unique to him??

we do love occupying characters with a physical task during conversations

ig marisol prioritizes efficiency and salem prioritizes the wellbeing of the kids

also salem dont badmouth sydnel like that

gay??

more confirmation that sydney needs therapy

im v glad marisols on sydneys side

jedidiah is bein kinda silly, marisols like 'he makes me uncomfy' and hes like 'just dont feel uncomfy'

if only sydney and jedidiah were as good at communication as the sapphics

love that sydney is like 'dont swear!!!!' but dumps all of his trauma on the kids

noo im sad :(

"It’s a laaaaaazy day today." <<<(me tomorrow after not sleeping all night)

nothing bad better happen on the speepy day >:(

"Men. Men sure are mysterious." mood

"I can’t describe how it feels to see a blue sky… almost… apocalyptic. " i love subverting expectations and turning something ordinary into something completely paranormal.

also vambrose moment (the apple)

o great thats where the canibalism comes in

eugh

i do not want

(and this is why salem is worried about you buddy. dont share stuff like that with kids.)

on the other hand kids arent, like innocent to this type of thing, really. i used to babysit my friends lil sister ( i think she was in 2nd or 3rd grade?) shed make lego skits about people murdering eachother, with like, a lot of detail too. and i dont think she was raised on particularly violent media. she played pokemon go on her parents phone or doodles in kids drawing apps. i think kids just kinda gravitate towards these kinds of things, especially if theyre told theyre not supposed to.

o no sydney being normal about the elephant man is not good

"You get hungry." hungy theme within his dreams?

"I like animals because they never forget to be scared: of starving, of getting eaten, of getting hurt or sick." also reaccuring thing from the bunny

and centipede thing. and ants. (im guessing bc its a dream it s lots of things relating to his current situation, especially thematically) (also i believe ants were brought up at some point when he said something along the lines of 'it felt like ants were eating my stomach lining'

the writing is so good its unfair

"I should never have forgotten to be scared." this is really interesting bc so far hes only been really scared by the elephant man.

"and none of the birds could speak English." ok i think its extremely disturbing to consider the fact that 'its a uniquely human thing to surpress pain' so the birds CAN talk but theyre still animals. they never forget to be scared and they never think to hide their discomfort.

also geez this episode is so dark compared to the others. it makes sense in universe, bc most of this is going on in sydneys head.

noo matthew was affected he better be ok after >:(

also appreciation for the slowing music, i didnt really register at first but thats definitely bc of the weird time happenings. and then the crank and it speeds up? super cool!

this series is so fun!!!

im a bit worried that jedidiahs 'extra special clock' may have something to do with his project? especially considering he has a lot of clocks around his office

more hungy, i think that bc he was hungy but didnt really realize it bc time weirdness, it seeped into his dreams somehow?

appreciation for sydney being able to eat garlic bread

also interesting thing, idk if its relevant in universe or just a writing thing, but no matter what happens with time it seems to always be resolved for sydney to know when 25:25 is.

oh fuck the canibalism is back

icky

i do not want

nope nope nope its getting worse

sorry im blood squeemish

more elephant man lore

kinda spooky. maybe his powers rely on electricity? or theres some greater creature hes afraid of that haas that effect

appreciation for the ending music of ep 16, and also just all the music in that ep.

hive? (the apothiosis is upon us?)

also really different music for the intro. idk if its like a genre or something related to hives, but its style really reminded me of queen b from nightmare time.

i want a waterslide to nowhere

i dont want a bri'ish man talkin bout 'beans on the cob' to be responsible for my safety, like, ever.

more sydney lore! poor bb sounds like he needs a hug. particularly from one Jedidiah A.A. Martin

i love the corporate bg music during harmlessmart its such a nice touch.

matthew matthew matthew matthew

fresh honeycomb sky.. hive theming?

this is exactly the shenanigans that middles schoolers get upto when theyre realeased into the woods

" So it has been, and so it will be; eternal in all directions in time." idk i just like this quote,

more ants

sports crystals = pokey?

bee tsunami

so he is co-nurse... when does jedidiah ever do his job? where is he?

noo sydney not the corner bread

comunicate!!! please!!!

"but he must love me, right?" :(((((((((((((((((

" — my journals." of course jedidiah only cares when it relates to his project. so quincycore, but if quincy didnt care about his bf.

idk if i should keep watching this tonight. on one hand, if i keep watching i might cry bc sad, but if i stop i will definitely cry.

"He would always be the father, and I would always be the mother" (blitzstonecore)

"How he could love something so much… and forget to feed it." (he loves sydney, he just forgets to take care of him. in the way sydney needs, instead of the way jedidiah thinks he needs.)

a grey sky

reading wikis again, and the warriors thing is just such a mood, and idk if the creators understand dnd stats properly, or if he jus sucks that much at living, but negative stats are not possible. like players usually cant get below a 3. and -4 means he has like -7 con, so he has 1 hit points at first level, which is really pathetic. yes im going to nerd about this. (i think its super funny bc, like sure w a 19 for wisdom he probably wouldnt fail wis saves, but on the off chance that he did, viscious mockery, a bard cantrip, will knock him out no matter what, and if it rolls i think a 3 or 4 it completely kills him. he could be killed by a single insult.)

(ive been informed that this will make more sense once i finish it, and now im v scared)

(also prolly shouldnt be reading the wiki rn bc spoilers, but im doin it anyway.)

again, the stats are SO EXTREME. not as bad as sydney. he could feasibly weild a weapon (strenghth or dex if finesse i think) he has reasonable con which is good bc wizards have absolutely no health. idk whats up with his wisdom (ive heard it described as 'street smarts' and int as 'book smarts' but i think it kinda goes hand in hand with rizz for interactions, bc its used for like insight, which is kinda important to talk to people.) (thats actually something id say maybe doesnt work well with sydneys high wis. so far it seems like, while he is quite observant, hes not always super great at reading the room, or at least thats what ive gathered)

also idk about the charisma bc so far jedidiah seems a bit more put together in the persuasion/deception/intimidation area of things.

might eep now. that means its a great time for you to drink some water.

do it. stay hydrated. it mustve taken a ton of mental energy to get through this post, so you should take a break. get a glass of water, get a snack, take care of yourself. (sleep if its past midnight or if your name is rowan) then you can come back and finish reading this shitshow :]

ok its morning time to finish this (maybe)

restarted ep 16 bc i forgor

omg wait sydneys usin am and theres static

i love that theres a credit card stealing fish.

no sydney youre doing it again what did salem say

relation to sydneys worms?

"If he didn’t value these creatures when they were alive, why was he so affected by their deaths?" STOP NO IM ALREADY SAD I GET IT

and thats why sydney wont kill the centipede?

w h a t

spooky music

is the hive conected to the elephant man?

excuse me did he just call worms many legged creatures (ig like worms as in maggots and caterpillars and silkworms, not earthworms)

i love that theres always some counselors that dont get to participate in the camp meetings

sydneys impression of jedidiahs voice is so silly

"But I like endings; I like closure. That was the point of this whole exercise." more with sydney being more ok with death perhaps?

“Ha. Abandoning your child in a lake . . . . so that’s what motherhood means for you?” NO NO NO NO NO :(((

"But I am not my mother." so this is why hes so protective of the kids?

rowan hero?

this feels less like a hive and more like an egg

rowan hero!

bad smoke, different smoke?

hive queen

ye i was right, it egg

so they WERE gay at some point???

interesting that jedidiah doesnt mention the elephant man breaking into his office

he frames it as 'im worried about sydney' even though hes been ignoring sydneys concern until it affected himself

ye ye lucille gets it he only cares about himself and his project

hes emotionally attatched to sydney, but he doesnt take care of him, because he doesnt understand what it means to not be taken care of

sydney taught himself how to love, and he makes a conscious effort to try his best, but he prioritizes the kids because he doesnt want to be like his mom

ye ye lucille call out the lil guy

lucille has the same thoughts about the elephant man as jedidiah did before he tried to take the journals

noticed the clock ticking

ohh so spooky bad stuff in the journals?

jedidiahs trying to keep sydney safe, reminds me of the "it was cozy and safe, like a prison" thing

also lucille bein his mom explains why sydney and jedidiah are close?

jedidiah doesnt like death, maybe hes afraid of it. because its closure, like sydney said. bc he doesnt know how to care about something while its alive, so he settles for greiving when its gone.

also the ending 'do not anger it" is a repeat i think?

o no more tree stuff?

am again and static

at least today the vegans get somethig they can maybe eat?

so he is the assisstant nurse? confusion

buddy are you sure thats not a corpse

assuming the things jedidiahs getting shipped in are related to his project, hes making progress?

again with him prioritizes his project above sydney

also minor thing about the lunch b i feel like hes kinda underestimating sydneys intelligence (of course judging by the dnd stats its barely above average) and thats also v quincy of him

also i think he forgot to say the time, but theres static for dinner, prolly bc pm

interesting i dont remember when sydney switched. was it always like that? 19:04 PM implies a 19:04 AM, and thats a lotta hours

sydney appreciating nature

do you even like goo arts? arent you allergic to goo

ok really interesting that they bring this up bc sydney was just talking about how he and jedidiah had a bag of acorns that they took home? and they were fine

plant spooky

related to project?

time static

:((((

his lil eep is v cute

not even chess. bro why do you even check on him if youre too tired to play chess

clock tic

physically safe.

sad gay

more clocks tic

no you cant end the ep like that

sydneys still gone :(((((

juniper no one likes you dont laugh at your own jokes

oh but rowan honey is getting juniper to his job worth putting up with his horrible voice and personality

its extremely ironic that jedidiah is responsible for mediating counselor arguements when he doesnt comunicate with his own husband

"how do I explain to you that you need to care about other people?" DONT SAY THAt... it makes me sad...

"I worry about you sometimes, though, y’know?" heres a concrete difference between juniper and jedidiah: juniper actually makes the effort to care about rowans worry, even if he cant empathize with it. honestly i think this episode is included to show jedidiah through a different light, bc so far it seems like him and juniper are very similar.

they both rarely do their actual work, and have someone they care about who has a (maybe) irrational fear of something they cant understand

"You keep saying all this nice shit to him like it means anything and then consistently letting him down with your behavior." showing jedidiah recognises these traits in other people but not himself.

"Your actions are what matter to the people around you, not your words or your intentions or your thoughts or your fucking anything else but your actions, and your actions show Sydney loud and clear that you don’t give a shit about him." aaand he let it slip. he knows hes doing the same, maybe? some part of him gets that.

hopefully after this there will actualy be some kind of positive change?

not sure if this is important, as i havent been reading the other log thingies, but under minor insight into it repeats a bullet point

theory: the elephant man took sydney???

"I promise you kids I will attend dutifully to the nurse’s office in Sydney’s absence. Or, I’ll make sure someone is, at least." more jedidiah avoiding his actual job, similar to juniper

again sydney prioritizes knowledge above all else, maybe a similarity to jedidiah

"One by one, we all stay alive…" cant remember if this was like an endy thing but it sounds familiar.. either way super spooky

yvonne dyslexic not clickbait?

"Of course I can, it’s — plain English." ok interesting def a thing about either yvonne or jedidiah, bc like they dont see the notes the same???

"I wanted her to get angry. I wanted a fight. I wanted consequences. I… I wanted… it to matter." he wants closure. he wants people to care about him

"She was kind then. So was Jedidiah." :(

:(((((((((((((

"really hard to believe that he would just — get up and leave." jedidiahs frustrated by the thought that sydney might not care about him like he thought?

another mention of religion. yvonne also mentioned praying in the last ep, and a while ago sydney talked about jedidiah being a 'good christian boy' or something like that

nvm that was the beginning of the last ep

im very good at life as you can tell

sorry back to 22

this is so strange

nother mention of religion

"My heartbeat has synced up with the ceaseless ticking… " reminds me of a comment i saw relating jedidiahs clocks to his heartbeat? idk i dont remember

this is... really disturbing. i dont know why

"holy day". interesting

this feels manipulative

no no elephant man if you turn sydney against jedidiah i will be very angy

wait isnt this like cult tactics, like asking someone to meet up in a low stakes setting, love bombing, asking them to do something to prove their loyalty. (i vaguely remember this from some yt video i watched about cats)

"Show you a love you have never known." hes preying on sydneys desire to be wanted, to be cared about

this is so unsettling my god.

" Jedidiah’s search party " means lucille aproved it?

"I mean, y’know, live like you’re dying, right? " (exexprincecore)

"What do you mean “that’s one way to put it”? Yvonne, these are blank papers!" enchanted papers?????????

ok sydney dont lie to them'

"Um. Okay. Listen. Sydney… I don’t want to lose you." but he doesnt really care, still

clock ticking

"the tree finds human happiness nauseating." huh.

"violent criminal history in the state of arkansas" thats all i could catch from the news thingy at the start, for some reason its not on the ep transcripts :(,,, but didnt elijah say hes from arkansas??? is that anything?

theres still static with the time

theyre dead?? like straight up?? all of cabin widow spider?

oh ok theyre not fully dead

as, like, the only sane person who cares about the elephant man, i wonder what marisols reaction is?

sports field? what about the musically inclined crystals?

hhehehe forgot that soren sounds like a cartoon villain

he nya like cat

...does the project have some relation to necromancy????????

tap tap tap tap tap tap

so crackers and butter cookies count as bread???

" but without death, it will never live." (to show ya the horror of stayin alive) (sorry sorry sorry sorry)

"Not because we want to, but because we must." ^^^^

wait wait wait i think i remember the one by one thing. but it was "one by one we all survive" and then "one by one we all stay alive" or something lik e that, so its interesting that it changed.

"but I can’t believe any amount of money would convince her to completely ignore the safety of the kids." again thingy with prioritizing the kids

"Seems this strain of mold just turns us into zombies, like… interpersonally?" mood

hahahaha juniper already is like that so the mold didnt have any effect

hun he is definitely deliberately manipulating yp

ok so idk about any of endy bits so far but it keeps bringing up not angering it and they "youve angered it" and im guessing if anything it has something to do with elijah??? or the project?? maybe both idk

"It’s like you don’t even care about the kids here anymore." huh

and it all comes back to control.

"Jedidiah… [Sigh] this mediation session isn’t for you and me." they need to go to couples therapy

" [Whisper] I miss you. .... I’m such a fucking idiot. " :((((

can the gays just be happy? just for a little bit? can elijah go away? can everyone please for the love of god or whatever just be happy for one goddamed moment?

no am, still static

i dont think thats a river

also, 'rapids'? he said like a moment before it was still, which kinda means its just more lake, and the land partially seperating it is an island

"they’re hungry for a sense of intellectual superiority." i love that the creatures in and around camp are half spooky half completely mundane

ye for once i think junipers right its more like a moat

"For today’s breakfast we have an eel’s head stuck upon a 500-year-old sword and slathered with pea mush — a hometown delicacy suggested by Juniper. He says they call it “scrumpledydumps!”" (ugh. british people.)

hc sydneys proficient in animal handling

... he feels like a curse and not in control of his life :(

forgot about the macaronis

uhh wouldnt a bridge make the hunt like destroy cam

(the horse? the divorce? /ref)

"I can’t figure out what this poor fox eats." is this a reference to the fly thing? showing contrast bc sydney actually thinks to take care of it?

still no am or pm but theres static

:((((((((((((((((((

please let them be happy? (this is why i stil havent finished yellow jacket. i simply cannot handle characters being sad or the undeniable feeling that something terrible is going to happen)

"the tree also finds human fear nauseating." huh.

clocks. are we finally gonna learn more about the project/??

no more river

beeping

what the actual f u c k is going on

id let matthew poison me with arsenic

holy fucking shit

i love that sydney raises his voice when he does an imression of joshua

"You know, when I was a kid, a large portion of my daily diet consisted of complimentary condiment packets from the school cafeteria."...sydney are you okay?/?????

at this point the static is kind of comforting. the only thing consistent at camp other than sydneys trauma

more beeping

huh??? i swear hamsters have been mentioned before

ye ye ye

how does sydney know what hamsters eyes look like if theyve been extinct for millions of years????

" 2:01 AM" WHOA thats new.... is it bc of maintenence? perhaps?

still static

oh fuck no i forgor about the journals

more clocks

FUCK

(extra thing this kinda reminds me of holloweane a bit just bc of the like not being able to give info, of course ms holloway does WANT to, and does try to tell duke, but anyway)

(and now i gotta go do stuff. why did i agree to do stuff after that episode. damn. anyway. this is your reminder to take a break from my ramblings. get some water, stretch, focus your eyes on something that isnt a screen. and of course, if your name is rowan, you should sleep probably)

hi im back

birds. huh.

and a clock tickin, but it stopped before the click.

apple=jedidiah?

what about the second hand???

clocks have knowledge. sydney wants it.

this musics quite the jam

is petrfified wings a thing? it feels farmiliar

" 25-26-100 hour days." hwhat the hell

he wants to be a clock? he wants to be flexible?

is this the extra special clock that fucked up time in that one episode?

wheat feild? related to the death fields? i think sydney mentioned someones wheat allergy in that ep

this is v strange

something.. something train related happened to his dad?

is.. is the next event sydneys death? jedidiahs death?

thats why he doesnt like it? why hes scared of death?

knowledge. thats what they both seek.

FUCK NO elijah go away i dont like you >:(

of course, elijahs using him to get information. also HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW ALL THIS (sydney please get away from that creepy stalker)

"hot tea with honey is good for sore throats." (goddamit emma now i gotta make a tea with honey /rref)

the weird audio thing in the background right after the episode title reminds me of my printer.

poor campers, no salt. nothing better happen to matthew >:(

at least sydney stopped spreading propoganda about the elephant man

oh also hes back to saying the time, am and pm, and our dear friend static

fuck

thats a lot of blood

w h a t

static please help me

what do they have against france

" it’s so funny to watch the fumes struggle to conjure anything worse than what I’ve actually been through." >:0

"[HE BUTCHERES THE PRONUNCIATION]" me too buddy, me too

did...did sydney get a clock?

o no are the penguins gonna come back

sydney are you okay???

all of this better be on the soundtrack

[HE BEGINS TO HYPERVENTILATE AND CRY.] (mee too budy, me too)

" Are you ready? Why did you lie?" w h a t

ok ok ok im definitely gonna finish this today bc if i dont ill stay up thinking about it anyway

more god, sin and death stuff. also mention of adam, possible relation to up and adam? (intro bit still sounds like a hyperventilating printer)

(this is so long i wonder if anyones actually made it this far. wait atcually the fandoms small so prolly.) (i bet rowans reading this. i bet hes not actually sleeping like i told him to, twice.)

NO ELIJAHS BACK (idk if anyone else is here but i am a member of the elijah hate club)

brought up the ceremony thing again. (still seems kinda cultish)

quiet beeps

louder beeps

this "stupid man" sounds a bit like jedidiah...

"He did not understand how to feed it" again the starving thing

or, is it elijah? idk im confused

also wtf is goin on w the accent

so muse is definitely sydney, prophet is elijah, so yeah i think the architect is jedidiah

"I will be the one to crystalize the truth of your perfection" (uh oh is he gonna pull an ambrose)

kinda sounds like hes gonna set sydney on fire

FUCK SYDNEY YOU BETTER TELL JEDIDIAH (pls just make them be okay)

"…I’m going to start sleeping in the room with Jedidiah again." ok ok thats progress good.. maybe hes not so distrusting of jedidiah anymore??? at least hopefully itll help w his pain

silence.

(reading comments) i saw some ppl saying sydney died and got revived and that makes sense considerign the story but also WHAT THE FUCK

reason jedidiah wont tell him about the project? or why hes so intent on keeping him physically safe? (how much does he know about elijah, bc elijah seems to know a lot about him)

another mention of god in the news before the title

no more printer sounds? maybe i just wasnt payin attention

"Hey, what’s this co-nurse stuff? Aren’t you Sydney’s assistant?" joshua out here askin the real questions

idk whats goin on but somethng seems really off

clock

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. that is no way to end an episode. again, this is why i cant finish yellow jacket. i do not like the sad.

idk if its just me but elijah sounded a bit different.

shit this is already episode 31.

trees

also um fuck what the hell is that title. the pyre??? sydneys just gonna go with it?! dude hes gonna set you on fire !!!

also side note taking a moment to appreciate the pacing of the series so far, the whole time its felt like just the right amount is happening, it never feels too rushed or boring. also the attention to detail and callbacks and references are amazing

oh fuck he mentioned the penguins. that means jedidiah will knwo he was looking for the journals

wow it s been a while since he talked about the sun or the moon, kinda nice to hear about the sky again. of course now im remembering jedidiah talking abotu the stars and im sad again.

the moon was in the sky all day? is that normal?

oh. she wants control. like how sydney talked to elijah. to prove he has control. to make a choice.

"was that being fed is not always the same as being nourished." back to the starving thing.

the clock is back

he misses jedidiah :(

still dont know whats goin on with the centipede

"I need to prove I’m worth something to you" (ambrosecore)

"My body is whole. My body is eaten.' spooky.

they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy

32!

glitchy walky talkies? i think thats that kind of beep. something something something RADIATOR? idk as someone whos bad at listening, i kinda wish they put the beginning bits in the transcript, but i guess thats bc mysteries???

static is back. aw, the moon has returned to her duty.

"Ahhhhh, to overthrow nature…" reminds me of the natural order thing joshua said during the camp revolt thing

also i was so right about elijah's culty stuff

communication? are they gonna be happy, maybe, at some point???

...i may have read spoilers in the wiki that they get together in 34, so i hope that means theyll be happy.

fuck fuck fuck fuck noo no non on no no elijah stay away

"Am I alone… ? " D:

glad he has a gun. that definitely cant backfire in any possible way...

fuck fuck fuck why is cabin dungbeetle like thhis

sound design is still so fuckin sick

jedidiah describing sydney: he's, uh, fuck, idk hes hot?

hes so pathetic /affectionate

OH FUCK ELIJAH KIDNAPPED HIM!!! TONIES WHY DIDNT YOU START WITH THAT WHAT THE HELL

no no no you can t end on cliffhangers like that (i say as if im not gonna watch the next one in like a minute) (i could never watch shows or podcasts as they come out i would actually die from the cliffhangers)

oh wait its not the end of the ep.

again sound design is immaculate

if sydney dies at the end of this series so will i, just putting that out there. (oh same with jedidiah)

YO OMG HES SO SMART i forgot about the reflection thing. what did he steal?? idk he took something that was like 'the only way i could seee my reflection' or something.. that makes so much sense.

by the way imma be at least a bit upset if we dont get any more rowan content before the end of the series.

(last ep)

FUCK you elijah i hope you BURN in HELL (sorry to any non elijah-haters, but also, not sorry bc hes bad)

"every day is a living fucking nightmare!" i mean this is just a thing thats said and not, like, unique to the show, but jedidiah does say something similar earlier on i think

the whole love vs want think kinda reminds me of linda, and like wiley bein like 'you dont want to be loved you want to be adored' (of course thats more framed as a villain thing so..)

FUCK WAIT THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???!!!!

"She keeps him like a prison." callback to the prison thing? the ''it felt comfy and safe, like a prison" i think it was something like that

so elijah is connected to the clocks somehow??

FUCK FUCK FUCK I FORGOT HE HAS THE JOURNAL

NO NO NO WHATS HE GOING TO DO

salamander man=elijah?

thats when he died???

second journal entry reminds me of, this is weird, but like dnd memes? and how magic kinda comes naturally to classes like sorcerers and bards, but wizards learn through study?

also im very confused by why the journal entries are so important, and why elijahs voice keeps changing. its really unsettling

so jedidiah was looking into magic to heal him?

"You turn it off and back on again." holy fuck

oh my god so thats why necromancy is such a reaccuring thing? and them being like , dw real necromancy isnt popular

the clock is also an interesting thing, idk what it means tho

aww the statics back :)

why is lucille like this

whats her goal in any of it

"This information… resists being known." (ms holloway vibes)

his, dad, died from that??

" Because I’m nothing without you, Sydney, I really am." (quincent vibes)

i find this switch really interesting bc up untill this moment sydneys always been the one, kind of, like, comfortable with death? and it makes sense now, i guess, because jedidiah was afraid of it, afraid that sydney might find out, and hed get hurt again

"But there’s something kind of sexy about that, though, right?" (a real stroke of luck, when the one man you can murder is one of the men you--- /ref) (sorrry sorry sorry this is a serious conversation ill try to be more normal)

awww gay (now for the happy? maybe? can they please be happy?) (sorry i said id be normal.. ill do that now < ---lying)

"Uhmm… [Sniff] hey, I, uh, haven’t seen you drink water, yet. I don’t think you’ve been drinking water — here. Drink. " (this is a reminder to all my friends who dont hydrate enough. do it. or you'll end up like sydney, nearly burned on a pyre by a weird russian guy in an elephant mask)

the gays? on their way to being happy? even just for a bit? not clickbait? (dw i know elijahs gonna come back and fuck everyone over in a lil bit. just let me have my moment)

"Also, he’s gone. For good." dude dont fucking jinx it!

"Seems the two of ‘em have gotten quite cozy. " (thats kinda gay dude)

i was so confused then i remembered that it was 20 dimentional chess

still kinda confused about the mirror thing

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THATS THE END

NO NO NO NO NO NO

e32uojkbwqlrhugejbkqfdshoihuqjbkefrbejwkghioujeklfnwmdlskjaipuojlknm, gnwklejfponrdsjlaiojfwejb

im sad now D:

anyway, i am sincerely sorry that you had to read this hot mess. uh, rowan, if youre still here. go to sleep.

ok now im gonna go read fanfic and hope it can heal me from this emotional rollercoaster.

bye <3

#camp here and there #chnt spoilers #cw violence #cw cannibalism #cw abuse?#cw gore #cw body horror?#cw death #cw animal death #cw cults?#uhh also spoilers for a lotta extra things bc i talk too much: spies are forever hatchetfield adamandi and toapp #marble musings #marble monologues

10 notes · View notes

goldenskyblue · 3 months ago

Text

Calmer to be able to write about the film

First of all, I'm still very sad that no one in my city is buying tickets for the movie. I went to the cinema with no one except me and two other people. I hope so much that the movie does well in theaters I would never be okay if I never saw the sequel 😭

I also almost had a panic attack while the movie wouldn't start because I thought I was in the wrong room until the Hasbro logo appeared and I actually felt my heart jumping out of my chest. And then an employee came to ask me if I was ok, yes sir i'm fine just almost dying of excitement 🥲

Spoilers ahead!

IT'S FUCKING PRIMUS FROM CYBERTRON??? GIRL YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL

The lighting is so good everything is so shiny it gives my brain a massage hmmmm

I laughed at the transformation joke and then ran away Orion you're so silly 😔

My Primus this is the first time I've seen a transformers city so full of robots and I was pointing every time I saw someone familiar

OMP D-16!!!!!!! YOU'RE SOOO BEAUTIFUL AAAAA

He is a fan of Megatronus that's so cute

Oooo Elita 🫵 and you are a boss? Go girl put those miners to work!

OMP JAZZZ! JAZZZ! Nooo his leg :(

I was NOT expecting that punch poor D-16

Ratchet doing pull-ups 🫵

Don't say that D you didn't deserve that punch :(

Ooooooo Sentinel i know what you are 🫵 but you are so fine. At first I thought his voice was a bit strange but the movie went on and my primus it's so good I love my ptbr

Oooo he said the thing 🫵

Here I had the same reaction as D "Orion are you dumb?"

A spotted a foreshadowing here, and it's sad :(

"You did this for me?" "No, I did it for us." So romantic and yet so doomed 💔

I admit I almost let out an "AWWWWOGAAA!!" when I saw Sentinel It's not my fault he's so beautiful and his grand entrance was so cool

OMP the primes 🫵*trying to name them all in a short period of time* :0

*Trying to read all the names on the scoreboard*

He caught him

For a good minute I thought the one in the lead was Cyclonus but it was just Darkwing

I genuinely thought Sentinel was going to stop them from winning but I wasn't expecting Chromia to trip them so hard and wining the race, yes queen you are the winner 🏆

"Did I win?" "You participated" "Ebaa" *falls asleep*" so me

Yepiii arachnid and she is so scary i like that the helmet design slay, wait she has many eyes because it is to represent that she is the eyes of Sentinel? If not, it's still really cool.

Oooo he's a menace a can feel it in his voice i like it

Them walking crouched down looks silly but from a miner's perspective it's so scary It's like your idol is so high up in the hierarchy he has to crouch down to reach you but he's still so intimidating that you feel more terrified than blessed.

Ooooo bee 🫵

So that's why he talks so much, or was that why he was demoted? Anyway, come here, i will be your friend and listen to all your ramblings 😊(I cried at this scene, the whole implication that he spent all this time alone with no one to talk to makes the scene so sad)

"And this is my friend Steve!" "Steve?" "He's gringo"

This one is so funny it's really that meme "I going fucking kill the first person I see" "Hiiiii I'm so happy to see you!" Poor bee he just a cute little potato

How the fuck do you sleep on the treadmill this thing won't stop spinning

The whole film i was like "D is so me" like, going on a dangerous adventure just to get your idol's attention? I'm in

The surface is so beautiful I was left speechless

Well, if an organic planet has a little metal, why wouldn't a metal planet have a little organic?

This scene was 10x more sentimental because I was wering my decepticon pin and was like domino with D touching his sticker then touching Megatronus mask then I touching my decepticon emblem I felt this scene in my soul

Ooooooo this scene, I thought I would be angry but my primus, I was speechless. He betrayed the primes and for what? "For all the power of Cybertron" the way he do this and the matrix disappears in his servos and he get upset, I was hipnotzed, and after the quintessons scene(hihi sexy)? Was the moment I understand his character, his genuine desire for power regardless of who he need to step in to achieve that captivated me, I fell in love, I can't stop thinking about him, I need to get his corpose and revive him and let him have his power, I want to see him murder others in attempt to get more power, I want to see that smirk he has when he lies and know he's on the top of the world and nothing can beat him, I need him at his worse, he's evil, I love that.

Also yeah D I want to kill him too

*The group falling" "Do we catch them?" "Do we need to catch them?" "I think so"

Them struggling to transform is so silly

The three are happy that they are safe and can now transform and D arrives killing the drone, It must have to do with him finally being able to defend himself, but the sad look on their faces just reminds me of what's to come.

You killed him, and you looked beautiful while doing it!

SOUNDWAVE 🫵 THUNDERCRACKER 🫵 MY WIFES MY BEAUTIFUL WIFES 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Starscream you are pretty you're beautiful and I know you know it slay queen 👑

Eew Starscream you freak 😳

The cannon...

I was cheering with them while crying my primus this movie drained me, the look on their faces Orion is so disappointed

Yeeeepi Arachnid

Elita my girl you don't know how to give advices, but what matters is the intention soo

HE SAID THE THING 🫵 Also there is no "convert" because this is Brazil and we speak ptbr

I like this scene too and Arachnid talks more

"That's why I wanted to keep his cog" you so evil hmmm

From the trailer I thought D had mutilated himself, but it was SENTINEL

Still loves him tho

But poor D :(

This scene touches the heart, because that's what transformers is about, be yourself regardless of the circumstances, of what others say, just be yourself and fight for the right of being your true self

"Protect Sentinel" she's his bodyguard 💙

You silly bee

Yes Sentinel protect your reign(still curious to see who his battle mode will be implemented into the ss toy 🤔)

Still wondering why Arachnid needs eyes inside her head, headcanon I was thinking that maybe they are nano drones that look like little spiders with one big eye and Arachnid can see what they see

Broadcast to the entire city about his lies? Girl you're cooked

The shoot... He didn't catch him. This was the signing of the divorce papers, there is no turning back from here, he betrayed his best friend, I cried, a lot

I was just speechless, D becoming what he hates most while tearing Sentinel in half, Orion corpose falling into the core of Cybertron and Primus giving him the matrix

I cried a lot

Megatron being born and Optimus being reborn, It's not an epic final battle, it's a friendship ending, in the worst way

At least seeing Jazz happy with his new wings made me smile

I almost got up from my chair watching the post-credits scene, like is he going to be a war criminal in the future? We all know and I still agree with him(most parts)

Conclusion AMAZING MOVIE IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LOVED A MOVIE SO MUCH GO WATCH TRANSFORMERS ONE IN THEATERS SO WE CAN GET THE SECOND MOVIE 🫵🫵🫵

10/10 I almost had a heart attack when I left the cinema trying to process the informations I LOVE THIS FILM SO MUCH

#tf one spoilers #tf one #me yapping about how much I love this movie #(it's most sentinel)

0 notes

the-girl-who-didnt-smile · 3 months ago

Text

...I'm embarrassed to post this, but I did draw his human form.

1.) He's got to have a skull painted on his face, I just couldn't get the damn skull to look right.

2.) In this outfit, he looks way too much like Francois Duvalier. This would have to be changed.

Commentary below:

MAN that is rough… that is just lookin like some guy…

He for sure needs to have a skull painted on his face, but this is where the design work needs to go in. The pizzazz, if you will.

I am lacking in the Vivziepop pizzazz…

He can’t just have any skull painted on his face, it needs to be a very distinct design that is very visually striking when you maximize the contrast between colors.

I was actually picturing something kind of like this, where has has the individual teeth painted on his face: https://img.freepik.com/premium-photo/picture-african-man-dressed-like-skull-face-paint_921860-36346.jpg?w=740

Except not exactly that because the pattern is not striking enough.

It is yet more challenging because “Maman de la Vie” has to have a matching skull… skill issue.

On the plus side, the advantage to drawing him without the skull is that you can see his facial structure. I have drawn him here, and in profile, in the hopes that it is obvious from his facial structure that he is not Francois Duvalier (at that… i might have accidentally made him look a bit like Me and the Devil Blues (manga)... purely on accident, if true…) (Me and the Devil Blues (manga) is moist) From the way he is dressed, he definitely looks too much like Francois Duvalier in this outfit, which is why something closer to his other outfit should be his style instead. As a human, he did not wear glasses or a hat; he basically dressed like Gus Fring, and he was very tall.

His sunglasses are supposed to look like Gus Fring’s glasses. I gave him this suit anyways, because it’s supposed to make him look like Don Corleone.

He must have a skull painted on his face, as your eyes need to always be drawn to his head. He is very tall; you are always looking up at him.

He shapeshifts his height if in the presence of a taller being; this is inspired by the following description of Baron Samedi:

“Loi Ba-un-Samedi (? gives or for Saturday). He is like Ogun, but “worse”, he is a grande diable. He makes all kinds of motions to make you laugh, but you must not laugh at him, for if you do, he makes you " stop laughing ", which means inversely that he makes you go on laughing forever against your will. Anything you touch, he takes and never returns, and you have to give him more and more. He smokes cigarettes, not cigars. He wears a coat and hat, and carries a stick. He can make himself short or tall, " as tall as a mast”.”

PARSONS, Elsie Clews. “SPIRIT CULT IN HAYTI.” Journal de La Société Des Américanistes, vol. 20, 1928, pp. 157–79. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/24720068. Accessed 18 Sept. 2024.

But I totally made him too tall here… he completely dwarfs Papa-chan

He should be taller than Big Papa, but the height gap should not be this large.

I failed here too, but his silhouette is supposed to resemble a rectangle. He is a huge, black obelisk, with a skull sitting at the top.

As a group, The Boys are supposed to embody the masculine and feminine aspects of four energies: Hot, Cool, Dark, and Bright.

Previously, I described “Lady Rose” and “Sir Duke” as the “yin” aspect of femininity and masculinity respectively, while “Lady Love” and “Ironman” are the “yang” aspects. “Yin” and “Yang” are now swapped for “Cool” and “Hot” respectively.

Of the four, “Sir Duke” and “Lady Love” are somewhat androgynous, as “Cool Masculine” corresponds with “Yin Masculine”, while “Hot Feminine” corresponds with “Yang Feminine”. This is why I picture “Sir Duke” telepathically communicating through three voices, two male and one female (number of voices subject to change), while “Lady Love” is the only one who would be confirmed non-heterosexual (her being bisexual). Meanwhile, “Lady Rose” is hyperfeminine and “Ironman” is hypermasculine.

“Baron de la Mort” and “Maman de la Vie” correspond with the “Dark” aspects of Masculinity and Femininity. This is also why they are paternal and maternal figures respectively, for life is entwined with death.

“Big Papa” is truly androgynous, in that he embodies the “Bright” aspects of Masculinity and Femininity on his own. This is why he switches between Male and Female forms, and has no romantic partner.

Not even the gender binary can confine this wo/man!

…Actually, that is also a false binary. He moves freely between all genders; it would just be a pain in the ass to animate more than two of these forms.

(although he presently prefers a male form, it is implied that a various stretches of history, he has preferred a female form, or a form that is neither female nor male…)

As a group, The Boys are sexually complete, and can be represented by a four-point cross, balanced between the axes of the four cardinal energies.

This is something I just made up; it has no basis in reality.

Baron de la Mort

Here is my take on a “Baron Samedi”-type Hazbin Hotel character (take two)

His name is often shortened to “The Baron” or simply “Baron”. In terms of character design, this is just a rough draft.

This doesn’t even begin to look like the art style of the show! Jesus Christ…

The previous, scrapped concept was deeply offensive, on many different levels. In a nutshell, I erred in taking Denise Alvarado, Randy P. Conner, and Wikipedia as reliable sources for Haitian Vodou. I’m that fucking stupid! It was also a mistake for me to include a reference to Sosyete Nago, given the recent controversy. The reason I have not just deleted it is because it illustrates exactly what not to do, and mistakes are a learning experience.

Baron Samedi is one of the most misrepresented lwa in popular media, which I previously discussed here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54861145/chapters/150245212

To correct past mistakes, I attempted to style him after Andre D. Pierre’s portrayal of Baron Samedi, with some deliberate changes. This is why he smokes cigars, and in his human form he wears sunglasses (although, his sunglasses are styled after Gustavo Fring)

Andre Pierre painted this incredible mural of the lwa, and I genuinely think Baron Samedi is the single most stylish man in this entire pantheon. I’m a little sad that his immaculate, anime-esque facial hair never made it into the public consciousness…

In all seriousness, I actually think one of the coolest things about Pierre’s rendition is how he depicts Baron Samedi carrying scales, because he’s the Supreme Judge over the human soul. That’s so fucking cool!

My brain is so rotten on One Piece, I just immediately connect him to the Holy Knights and Peak Stylish One Piece Man: Impel Down Crocoboy

This is how this man dressed in prison!

Funny story… Baron is actually supposed to be Donquixote Doflamingo.

Because I am insane, I genuinely think Doflamingo is the only One Piece man who has better drip than Crocoboy.

His drip is so horrible, ugly, and evil, just like everything else about Sir D. Onquixote D. Oflamingo

He is the most evil drag king who will ever fucking live.

This guy is not nearly as evil as Doffyboy, but this is why he always wears sunglasses… he for sure has a second pair of sunglasses underneath his sunglasses… Lanmò is supposed to be Bellamy…

At that, this is actually the reason for the inclusion of Lanmò and Lavi. TAKE ONE PIECE FOR EXA– So you know how Baroque Works was introduced before Crocoboy, and Bellamy was introduced before Tanjiahdo Lofulamingo Sama. If you put a ‘boss’ character into a story, you have to give him henchmen and introduce the henchmen, otherwise the bossman doesn’t seem cool… There’s a sequence to things. Lanmò and Lavi demo ‘henchmen’ types characters you would give this guy.

Anyways, you know how Doflamingo - ugliest man in all of One Piece - is WAY stronger than Crocodile (the Suna Suna no Mi is complete dogwater) but plagiarizes the shit out of his look… This other guy is stealing Doflamingo’s look. This is why elements of Dofla D. Mingo and Croco D. Boy are both present in his design.

So “Baron of the Dead” was just a placeholder name. That name sounds so bad. I decided to give him the name “Baron de la Mort”, which is also kind of a stupid name. He and “Maman de la Vie” break the Jojo-ass naming scheme to signify their unique importance, as the gods of the dead.

He is not actually Baron Samedi, but a human from another universe. In the universe he comes from, there exists something like Baron Samedi. In fact, this is actually how you reveal the identities of THE GODS themselves, through the backstory of THE GOD OF DEATH! The added element of them being from another universe just makes it more fun, because you can make them human souls from any time period and alternate history imaginable - including the future!

The backstory for “Baron de la Mort” is described here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55065466/chapters/151062802

Here, it is crucial not to collapse his moral complexity. He cannot be described as “pure evil” or “a hero”; for his extraordinary ruthlessness and moral neutrality, he was the perfect candidate to become Mortality itself.

I genuinely think this makes for a very interesting fictional character; however, the subject matter must be handled with the utmost maturity. Hazbin Hotel is not exactly a show known for its maturity… If he were ever to appear in a show like Hazbin Hotel, this aspect of his backstory should only be implied, and not addressed directly. If a flashback is shown, it should not involve his criminal history, but his relationship with his son, who came out as homosexual to him.

This is a key part of his past human life. He is designed to contrast with Moxxie and Angel Dust’s fathers, in that he did not reject his son and loved him unconditionally. Unlike his wife, his son’s soul was not used to create a god. He doesn’t remember him, but on some level he misses him.

Recently, I watched the documentary Des Hommes et Dieux (2002) [Vimeo] [Kanopy]. One of the things that really moved me was the parents in this documentary, who didn’t reject their children. This is in part because of their religious beliefs - that they were born that way to serve the lwa. It’s remarkable… Haiti - the nation that did the right thing, and paid the price for it - is one of the most impoverished places on the Earth, and yet there’s this side that’s accepting of this. The culture I grew up in is WAY more affluent, but there’s no equivalent to Vodou; homosexuals and transgender people were just hated, “better off dead”...

In terms of media representation, it is important not just to show characters who are themselves LGBT, but the parents of those characters. Importantly, this representation cannot just be superficial (e.g., the “lesbian” or “gay parent” background characters, who have no speaking lines and are easily censored) You have to actually show how did these parents grapple with this reveal? How did they handle the shock of it, and why didn’t they reject their children? This matters because it might be able to change the minds of some parents in the real world. Family rejection has a huge, negative impact on LGBT children, and several minority communities are disproportionately affected by this trend. Intersectional representation is scarce, and often feels inauthentic - especially when a creator takes characters who were clearly originally planned to be white, racebends them, and doesn’t account for cultural differences. This would be a unique opportunity to show this side of Haitian culture, in an authentic way.

What I had actually envisioned for this character is a darker spin-off of Hazbin Hotel - a story that takes place in its world and expands on Earth and the afterlife. He is best utilized there. Barring this, he still makes for a fun character as the “grim patriarch” over a motley crew of henchmen / “capricious children”. In terms of personality, he’s supposed to be a cross between Gomez Addams and Gustavo Fring.

This aspect of his character was inspired by Donald Cosentino’s Sacred Arts, in which he characterizes Baron Samedi like so:

“Bawon Samdi is a family man, presiding over a whole clan of related spirits who bear a startling collective resemblance to the Addams family…There is, for instance, Bawon Lakwa, the imbecilic brother who keeps the cemetery grounds, and Gran Brijit, the ghoulish, red-eyed wife, and the wise Bawon Simitye. But it is their capricious children, known collectively as the Gedes, who are the truly beloved of the Bawon’s family. As sacred children, the Gedes merge with the other dead, and the other lwa, to form the holy trinity of Vodou. Everyone seems to love the Gedes, for in linking the cemetery to the phallus, they celebrate our common sexual victory over death.”

SOURCE: Cosentino, Donald. Sacred Arts of Haitian Vodou. United States, UCLA Fowler Museum of Cultural History, 1995. p. 405 https://archive.org/details/sacredartsofhait0000unse/page/404/mode/2up?

If Milo Marcelin’s Mythologie Vodou, Vol. II is to be believed, Baron Samedi really does have this band of “capricious children” following him around. This is a scary ass lwa, described as The Supreme Judge over the Earth and The Lord over the Dead, who bewitches people and turns them into zombies, also has a bunch of kids with these hilariously clashing personalities, who sing funny songs where they call Baron Samedi “papa”... Not to mention that several of them may or may not be gender non-conforming / non-heterosexual… I think that’s fun!

Didn’t you love Baroque Works?

Baroque Works was so fun… it was literally just:

The Donquixote pirates were even better.

Just:

Several aspects of Baron are actually inspired by Don Corleone, but it’s a mistake to make him visually resemble the Godfather, as it makes him look too much like Francois Duvalier. This is why I think he should adopt a Victorian era-esque style - to make it obvious he is not “Papa Doc”. It is also why he should not speak in a nasally voice; I was picturing him with a super deep voice, or an effect layered over his voice. He needs to have a distinct and intimidating voice. Ideally, he is voiced by a Haitian voice actor.

(in the Japanese dub I was totally picturing him sounding like Ryūzaburō Ōtomo)

To summarize his powers (his stats are not changed):

He is the Grim Reaper of Hazbin Hotel; he is tasked with escorting human souls to Heaven or Hell (your ass probably didn’t get into Heaven…you’re probably going to Hell)

He exerts pure Death Anxiety on humans, making him appear Scarier than is visually conveyed… (I know my art is bad! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!)

Like all other Loa, he can possess humans and communicate with them through their dreams; he can be petitioned to bewitch another human and/or give them horrifying nightmares.

He alone has the power to create zombies; all zombies are created through him, in some way.

His black-colored magic is Death itself; a human does not die until he kills them; he can be petitioned to postpone a human’s death.

His signature move is where he rips apart a human soul but slows down time while he’s doing it, so the person experiences torture forever (this attack looks WAY COOL but it’s not very strong… four-dimensional confetti is a lot stronger than this…) This is extremely easy for him to do; he can make millions of these without breaking a sweat.

He has the highest Attack Power of any god; this means he can kill everything in a given universe, in an instant.

When he fuses with his wife, she basically gives him infinite Healing. They become the most powerful thing underneath uppercase God.

If somehow figure out a way to kill his unkillable wife, he goes BERSERK where he gains the power to do things that are completely impossible, at the cost of all his Battle IQ

Although he is forced to assume a human form, he shapeshifts to look like a skeleton when carrying out his duties as the undertaker. When he does this, his sunglasses become his eye sockets, the skull painted on his face becomes an actual skull, and the rings on his fingers become bones. He wears a small black cross, which is not inverted, and black gloves to hide his Scary Skeleton Hands.

To be honest, there are a lot of Scary Skeleton Men who look Scarier than this, but I think his powers are Scary as fuck. If this was something you could encounter in the real world, I would just about shit my pants!

In two regards, I may or may have massively played myself.

Firstly, I previously assumed that God (Hazin Hotel) exists, but it dawned on me that we’ve never actually seen God. Walk with me here, but what if God doesn’t actually exist, and it’s just a conspiracy made up by the angels in Heaven? In which case… Bon Dieu isn’t actually God. He’s just this horrifying Eldritch Abomination who created The Boys, then fucked off into hyperspace (or, hyper-hyperspace) I guess! …Can you see why it’s a problem to call them “Baron Samedi” “Papa Legba” etc…?

Actually, this is not that big of a deal. It’s kind of funny if “Bon Dieu” is this just Bill Cipher-ass, super-powered Abomination.

But secondly, I think it is likely that “Double Hell” exists. EXPLAIN YOURSELF. Well, I think it is likely that there’s some other zone(s) outside of Heaven and Hell, because of the existence of Roo. They’ve shown the various Rings of Hell in Helluva Boss, but Roo does not seem to be in any of them. So where is she? In Dante’s Inferno, there are actually more than seven Circles to Hell; perhaps there are secret levels to Hell, and Roo is in one of the secret levels. Another possibility is that she dwells in a zone outside of Hell proper! Then you have to consider the fate of the souls destroyed by the Exterminators. What happens to those souls? What happens to souls that have been ripped apart? I think it’s doubtful that they merely cease to exist. Otherwise, there would probably be many people seeking out this “exit” from whatever horrors they are experiencing under a Soul Deal with a Demon Overlord. The more likely answer seems to be “Double Hell”... which probably isn’t called “Double Hell”, but it’s existence is implied in the pilot. Basically, instead of respawning in the Pride Ring, you respawn here, and this is just torture for eternity. Something like every cell in your body burns forever… Real Hell, if you will. If I had to guess, I think this might be where Roo dwells, and she somehow feeds off of torturing these souls forever… that would be SICK!

If this turns out to be even partially true, I think this ROCKS I’m down, but it does completely undermine the concept of the Real Hell attack... The Real Hell is way less cool if Double Hell exists. However, I still think it’s a little cool in that it’s more ancient than even Double Hell. Charlie is such a sweet girl that if Double Hell exists, she might make it her mission (and succeed) to free all the souls from “Double Hell”. So I guess a cool thing about Real Hell is that nobody ever gets out of it. Baron is the only thing that can free a human soul from this torture, and he never does. He never goes back on his decision.

I thought about changing his powerset, but no… the mental image of Gustavo D. Fring going BERSERK is so goddamn funny to me. This guy is so fucking smart too! But no… Santa Claus and Nina Simone are smarter than him…

In the Santa Claus v. Gomez Addams/Morticia Addams showdown, it is actually a very close fight. So you’re thinking to yourself “How does Santa Claus kill the Dyad with INFINITE ATTACK and INFINITE HEALS?” Basically, if he blows up the entire multiverse, there is no more space for anything to exist but himself. This is how he fucking wins… there is a 50% chance Mr. and Mrs. Corleone win, but a 49% chance Louis Armstrong (underdog) wins instead…

The one thing I did tweak is the impossible battle scenario between him and his wife. I think it’s kind of pointless for purple-colored magic to destroy black-colored magic; rather, it’s that the two cannot harm each other. Life cannot kill Death; Death cannot kill Life. So basically they are just locked in an infinite stalemate. But if he was fighting someone other than his wife who somehow has purple-colored magic, he does win solely because he has the Berserk mode. He’s a bit of a Stu in this regard… It takes him forever to figure out the condition that triggers it, making this one of the most boring fights imaginable.

He is sometimes seen carrying a staff, which was visually inspired by the In Extremis display at the UCLA Fowler Museum. The staff would look unsettling if it existed in real life. As it is not made out of materials that exist in the real world, it falls into the uncanny valley of “organic vs. inorganic”. The black portion of the staff is supposed to resemble a human aorta.

Also inspired the In Extremis display, “Baron de la Mort” and “Maman de la Vie” are figured as skeletons, while “Lanmò” and “Lavi” (demons who sold their souls to them) are rotten flesh. It should be immediately visually obvious that former pair are “the boss” and the latter pair are “the underlings”.

In addition to Baron Samedi, “Baron de la Mort” is also inspired by a “Devil” figure who appears in American folklore. There is a very fun theory that this “Devil” is actually Baron Samedi. I do not know if it is true (it could turn out to be bullshit), but I think it makes for a fun story in a fictional setting. This is why he has a minor black cat motif, as this “Devil” is associated with black cats. He is occasionally seen holding a black cat Godfather-style, to contrast with “Big Papa”’s dog motif.

See also: Jacobsen, K. (Nov. 1, 2002). The Society for the Study of Southern Literature, Volume 36, Issue 1: https://southernlit.org/volume-36-issue-one-fall-2002/

Selling your soul to “The Devil” is a big thing in American folklore, which is why a human can sell their soul to “Baron de la Mort”. Unlike “Big Papa”, Baron is not much of a Dealmaker. He does not seek out humans to make contracts with; they seek out him. This is very rare, as only the most desperate humans (living or dead) ever seek him out. His soul deals are extremely brutal - some of the worst to enter. Unlike “Big Papa” he also makes deals with souls in the afterlife, as he moves freely between the realms of the living and dead. (Papa is powerful enough to do this too, he’s just not interested in it)

Baron is also sometimes seen carrying scales, but he’s technically not the Judge. He does not decide who goes to Heaven or Hell, but he is the Supreme Executive Authority. Because he wields Executive Power, he can override the decision on a human’s final destination. For this reason, he is extremely powerful, outranking the Archangels in Heaven and the Seven Deadly Sins.

He rarely exercises this power, as he has so little regard for human lives. If he abused his Executive Authority, he would have been removed from his post. On rare occasion, he overrides the decision and adopts human souls into his personal domain - a third option outside of Heaven or Hell, called “The Underworld”.

Previously, I defined a set of criteria to join the Underworld. Baron de la Mort is a lot more elusive about his criteria. It seems to be something he does on a whim, and appears to happen pretty randomly.

The real reason for this is because, in his past human life, he had a large family of several children and grandchildren. Upon becoming a god, he lost his memories of his past human life, but he occasionally gets glimpses of it in a process similar to dreaming. He cannot clearly remember this, but on some level he misses his children.

The irony here, is that unlike SOME OTHER PEOPLE IN THE ROOM this guy is actually a good father figure. This serves to humanize him, and make him more fun (Don’t you love Gomez Addams??)

He is designed to contrast with “Big Papa”. “Big Papa” is inspired by Papa Legba of New Orleans Voodoo; “Baron de la Mort” is inspired by Baron Samedi of Haitian Vodou. In spite of his name, “Big Papa” is not a good father figure; “Baron de la Mort” actually is. “Big Papa” is the only one who doesn’t have a spouse/ex-spouse; “Baron de la Mort” and “Maman de la Vie” are the only two who were married, not just in their present lives as gods, but their past lives as humans. They are also the only two who have children (adopted, as they are not allowed to conceive another Loa).

On the subject of “Port-au-Prince”... this is a character I designed to be the adoptive son of Baron de la Mort (I need to rewrite his bio at some point…). He was originally designed to resemble Guede Nibo, as portrayed by Andre Pierre. However, this was a misguided decision, as Andre Pierre himself took offense to the notion that Guede Nibo is gay.

Having pondered this, I think the most respectful course of action is to eliminate the association between “Port-au-Prince” and Guede Nibo. If you look at his character design, “Port-au-Prince” really doesn’t look like Guede Nibo. Sure, they both wear purple, but he just looks like a cartoon twink version of Prince, the singer. “Port-au-Prince” is so early in development, I didn’t even draw a full body image of him. I’ve decided to scrap any association between him and Guede Nibo, to avoid making him physically resemble Guede Nibo, or equate the two on any level.

Rather than being a tribute to Andre Pierre’s artwork, he is now a tribute to Milo Marcelin’s Mythologie Vodou, in which Marcelin describes how Baron Samedi has many “children”. “Port-au-Prince” is just one of these children. In fact, he is actually the youngest one, as he is the one who was adopted most recently. For this reason, he is the least powerful one, but he is still a lot more powerful than the average angel or demon. The Hazbin Hotel version of Guede Nibo would be his older brother - the most powerful of his siblings. However, this character would not receive as much focus as “Port-au-Prince” himself, who receives the spotlight because he has some sort of connection to Angel Dust.

Presently, I figured “Port-au-Prince” as a Haitian American. He was born to a Haitian mother - a sex worker - in New York. Because he physically resembled his father - who abused and abandoned his mother - she was cruel to him from the earliest age. She and her boyfriends abused him throughout his childhood. Their relationship was so sour, that he ran away from home during high school. He was taken in by a gang, who got him hooked on crack. As he experienced homophobic bullying as a small child, he was closeted his entire life. He died violently, at a young age.

He was supposed to go to Hell, where he would have become Angel Dust 2.0, but Baron de la Mort decides to adopt him instead. For this reason, he is far more well-adjusted than Angel Dust. Because these two have very similar interests and personalities, they would get along swimmingly, but Angel Dust would probably feel intense jealousy and grief upon seeing his loving family.

This is the direction I decided to go in, but I can see how this could still be taken the wrong way, especially given my track record… If deemed controversial, another option is to remove his drag persona (or, make her a different character from him) and leave his sexuality open to interpretation. In terms of media representation, it is also important to show cisgender heterosexuals who are not traditionally masculine / feminine, and have gay or trans friends. In this alternate scenario, he would have several friends in the LGBT community, but his own sexual orientation would be unconfirmed.

I might change his backstory to make him Haitian - not Haitian American. The reason he is Haitian American is to establish a parallel between him and Angel Dust, who is also from New York. I think it also makes for an interesting contrast with him and Lanmò, who was born in Haiti, but grew up on the West Coast. These make for interesting settings, but I might make changes to his (and possibly Lanmò and/or Lavi’s) place of birth / growing up.

Baron de la Mort’s special move is still The Black Hole of Torture, but the attack is called Judgment now. It’s the same attack, but he’s classy about it.

I associate him with black holes because I FUCKING LOVE THE BLACK HOLE MULTIVERSE THEORY!!!

…It’s actually called Schwarzschild cosmology.

I just love that this is a real theory that scientists genuinely think might be our reality. Our universe is inside a black hole and the black holes inside our universe are portals to other universes. That would be SO NUTS!!!

Imagine this: You fall into a Black Hole, get spaghettified, wind up in the fictional One Punch Man universe, millimeters away from Saitama’s fist. That would suck balls…

So I put this into my fanfiction, but I implemented it in the dumbest most pop science way ever. This is an aspect I am probably going to change, as it places an unnecessary constraint on the creativity of this story. I’m probably going to revise this so it just conforms to Michio Kaku’s conceptualization of the multiverse.

Doesn’t this piss you off, though?

On top of everything else about Big Papa, he’s the character you introduce multiverse bullshit through.

BOOOOO!!!!! 🍅 🍅 🍅 🍅 🍅 🍅 🍅 MULTIVERSE PEAKED WITH MILES MORALES!!!!!!

…I imagine Vivziepop has zero plans to canonize the Hazbin Hotel multiverse. At this point, the world at large is experiencing Multiverse fatigue. But because I am terrible, I genuinely think this would be a fun way to implement the multiverse.

CANON ALASTORIA

CANON ALASTOR 2P

THINK IT OVER VIVIENNE!!!!!!

…And now to address a serious topic. MAN is this Wikipedia article bad: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haitian_Vodou_and_sexual_orientation

Zora Neale Hurston was correct in identifying the Gede spirits with the Black peasantry of Haiti, but she was incorrect in describing Gede as the only lwa indigenous to Haiti, and assuming that he has no African counterpart. The name Gede is derived from “Gede”, a vodún from the Dahomean pantheon.

See: Herskovits, Melville Jean, and Frances Shapiro Herskovits. Dahomean narrative: a cross-cultural analysis. Vol. 1. Northwestern University Press, 1998, p. 124

https://archive.org/details/hersokovits-dahomean/page/n189/mode/2up?q=gede

The Gedevi were the original inhabitants of the Abomey plateau who were imperialized by the Aja-Fon kingdom of Dahomey. They became something akin to an “untouchable” class, subjugated at the bottom of the social hierarchy, and enslaved circa 1625-1724:

“The Gede reflect the abject in that their experience reflects the worst of the Dahomian conquest, capture, and sale; the Middle Passage; and the stigma and torture of Saint-Domingue. The Gede Rite is suited to the traumas of economic globalization, including the plight of boat people and disposable migrants, separation from family in diasporas, and the ordeals of sex work in the sexual economy.”

SOURCE: Hebblethwaite, Benjamin. A transatlantic history of Haitian Vodou: rasin figuier, rasin Bwa Kayiman, and the Rada and Gede Rites. Univ. Press of Mississippi, 2021.

In other words, the Gede are so closely associated with the oppressed race/class of Haiti, their history can be traced back to the original oppressed ethnic group from before the Transatlantic slave trade.

It’s really fucked up that this category of spirits has been twisted by white people to fit into the international LGBT agenda. The Wikipedia article is a prime example of this. I’m saying this, as someone who is both queer and transgender. I already said this, but shit like this fuels animosity against the LGBT community. It doesn’t help but harms “the LGBT community” native to Haiti - which is not called that, but “La Communauté M”.

I have previously misrepresented “LGBT inclusion” in Haitian Vodou. Normally when this subject comes up, it’s about the inclusion of white people, not Haitians themselves (see: Randy P. Conner). It’s fucked up! I have attempted to correct this by focusing my research on “La Communauté M” - not the white LGBT community - but it is possible misrepresentations are still present.

This is why you have to be very careful in attempting to work LGBT themes that involve Haitian Vodou. DON’T DO WHAT I DID!!! It is also why this concept still might be misguided. The best approach might be to eliminate these characters entirely.

Haitian Vodou - sacred to the Haitian people - has been appropriated to Hell and back, to the point that a bastardized version of it is frequently passed off as “New Orleans Voodoo”. Popular media influences what people do in the real world. Images from American Horror Story still pop up when you search Google for “Papa Legba”. Hazbin Hotel has fans of all races, but it still has a majority white audience. If the lwa are haphazardly put into this story, it could directly contribute to people appropriating and disrespecting the culture.

The purpose of Baron de la Mort’s backstory is to deal with a mature subject matter - the historical factors that led to the current crisis in Haiti. Why is Haiti - the first nation to permanently ban slavery - on the brink of government collapse? It says a lot about the world at large, doesn’t it? This is something that could be addressed in a darker, more mature spin-off series (one that does necessarily have to be a cartoon). Even in a light-hearted series, this character could be used as part of a donation effort to Haiti and/or Haitian refugees. On the other hand, it might be a mistake to include this character at all. Unless you radically change his appearance, people are inevitably going to think he’s supposed to be Francois Duvalier… it’s just so easy to slip and make this guy offensive.

These are all factors to consider.

(as a daily reminder, I am in fact crazy enough to think about “what if my ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEALS were in the canon of Hazbin Hotel”... it’s just a really fun hypothetical, I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!)

#hazbin hotel oc #baron de la mort (hazbin hotel)#the loa (hazbin hotel)#commentary

2 notes · View notes

lys1 · 3 years ago

Text

Congratulations! You waited so patiently <3 This is another Asra x fem!reader for you. NSFW. 5218 words.

Playing With Potions

—————

The late spring morning air was warming up to be a balmy 75 degrees. You had your skirt pulled down and up, tucked in the back of the waistband, forming makeshift shorts. The shop was somewhat quiet, yet the din from the streets made its nimble way through the open windows.

You descend the ladder to the box of ingredients you were unpacking. They had come in the previous evening and Asra had promptly asked you to “organize them later”. Of course you said yes, the two of you shared this shop after all, and the work that came with it.

Asra himself was bustling behind the counter, sweeping the wooden floors free of the dust and fallen ingredients. He stops momentarily to pick up his cup of tea and take a long sip. The jasmine tea's steam billows into his face as he sighs with content pleasure.

The floorboards creak as you step down and Asra looks over at you, gaze soft. "How's the supplies look, dear?" He asks curiously, returning the cup to it’s coaster.

"Ah," you muse, counting the small containers in your hands. "Looks like we will be all set on lizard toes for a while, I think our supply captain read 1000 instead of 100." You can't help but chuckle, it couldn't be helped, at least you wouldn’t have to order more for a while.

Asra's eyes open a little wider, "oh my." He laughs, "I suppose we won’t". He sets his broom to rest against the counter and bare feet pad over to you, his deep-purple eyes examining the products.

You feel his hand settle on your waist subconsciously; a side effect of being close to one another. You breathe in lightly, smelling the sweet scent of coconut and honied biscuits wash over you. Asra's breakfast choice was apparent.

"Mm," you say, turning so the two of you were face to face. "You smell delicious."

Asra smiles, box in his hand now a little less important. "Care for a taste?" He teases, eyes falling to your parted lips. He sets his lizard toes aside and joins his other hand at your waist. You look up at him through your eyelashes and nod.

He is a mere millimeter from sealing the gap between you when the bell of the shop jingles merrily.

"Ah jeez," you huff good in good nature. "I forgot we have jobs and responsibilities."

Asra laughs at your obvious disappointment and steals a small peck. "Unfortunately, we have to eat somehow." He then turns away and walks back to the counter to greet the customer.

The man is short and has a little round face. He looks extraordinarily nervous, and this catches your attention. Yours and Asra's shop is well known in the city and the townsfolk trust their magicians. You hadn't seen anyone come in here looking so nervous, and maybe even a little embarrassed.

"What can I do for you, sir?" Asra asks charmingly, resuming his position behind the counter. Briefly you let yourself admire how nice he looks, comfortable in his shop and expertise, before turning back to the box you were supposed to be dealing with. Not, however, letting your ears miss the conversation.

"I," the man starts, already fumbling with his words. "I, well look. I need help." He finishes plainly, nervously clutching his shirt between his pudgy hands.

Asra smiles kindly, "many do." He says, tilting his head and examining his new client. "Are you here for a card reading? Need to get some answers?"

The man groans as though he is already exhausted with the conversation. "No, I already know what I need. I have the answers. I've heard about this place. The ways you can help people. I live an hour out of the market and I made this trip just to see you."

"We're flattered, for sure." Asra says calmly, you can hear slight annoyance in his tone from all the ambiguity. The visitor is none the wiser though. "To help you though," Asra continues. "I'll need to know what you need."

"Alright I need a potion," the man finally reveals. "One that will help me... with performance." His cheeks are redder than a bell pepper in the sun.

Asra raises a white eyebrow, "performance? Are you an actor?"

"No!" The man's voice came out in a strangled whisper, obviously trying to keep it down. You roll your eyes, chancing a glance over your shoulder. The shop floor wasn't that big, of course you were going to hear everything.

"No," he said again, this time a little more composed. "What I mean is... my sex life performance." The truth comes out. Your visitor wipes his forehead with a dirty rag from his pocket. "My wife and I well.. we've hit a slump," he explains. "And I've heard of potions that can help with that kind of thing. Stuff that will completely change the game." His eyes are shining now, imaging life post-performance potion.

Asra looks uncertain at best. "I see," he starts, shooting you a glance. "That.. does exists. But it takes awhile to make. And the price isn't cheap either."

You shove the last of the crow feathers into their designated drawer while listening. You have never heard of such a potion, but you were also still learning. Asra sounds a little unsure though.

"Price isn't an issue," the man sounds desperate. "I'll pay anything."

Asra sighs, he feels bad for the man wringing his hands before him, practically crying for a cure. "Alright," he finally concedes. "I'll make it, but you'll have to come back in the morning. This kind of thing takes all evening to brew."

Your customer nods vigorously, "I can wait." He says. "Tomorrow morning, yes! I'll be here!" His excitement apparent, he bows a few times while backing out of the door, tripping over his own feet.

The door closes with a sharp bang and the bell rings furiously. Asra blows air out of his mouth so that itf ruffles the curls between his eyes.

"Well," he says after a moment. "A sex performance enhancing potion was not what I was expecting to make today." He rubs his temples, eyes closed and looking thoughtful.

You grin at him from the shelf as you pick up the empty shipping box and rest it on your hip. "That's quite the name, I've never heard of a potion like that."

Asra laughs and opens his beautiful eyes to look at you. "Yes, you'll have to forgive me for not teaching you that kind of magic, it's not the.. safest." He ends uncertainly. "I don't even know how this guy found out about it. It's not talked about much amongst us magicians.. and it's certainly not a common one."

Immediately more questions than your mouth can keep up with flood your brain. "So how did you find out about it? And why isn't it safe?" You ask the two more important ones, eyes following Asra as he finds a piece of paper and quill to use.

He dips his quill in the register's ink well and starts scratching down what you presumed to be ingredients. "I've been studying magic for years, my love." He says simply, "and before you ask, no I haven't used it on myself." He looks up at you, mischief dancing in his pretty eyes. "I'd like to think my sex game is up to par." He adds innocently, licking his lips seductively when your ears tinge pink.

You brush imaginary dirt off your shirt sleeves and huff. "I suppose it's pretty good." You mumble. It almost feels like a lie to just describe it as "pretty good" but Asra doesn't need you to stroke his ego right now. You do that enough falling to pieces beneath him every night.

Asra is well aware of your attempt to keep him humble and laughs lightly. "And to answer your other question," he says, turning back to his ingredient list, "messing with ones body like this can be dangerous. You have to be very precise."

You nod as he explains, it makes sense.

Potions are always brewed in pots over a magic fire so you put yourself to work, removing a medium sized iron pot from a hook on the wall and carrying it to a fire stand. Asra is busy himself, opening various drawers and adding seemingly random ingredients to a basket he has looped over his arm. Iris petals, newt eyeball, and some shimmering gold flakes. You smile watching him, your gorgeous magician; smart and able.

In no time at all Asra has a bubbling pot of sweet smelling liquid stirring before him. You stand beside him, observing curiously.

"Why are you wearing gloves?" You ask, taking note of the large leather gloves that clad all the way up your lover's forearm.

Asra continues to stir and looks over at you, happy to hear your eagerness to learn. "I can't risk even a drop of this touching my skin. It's so strong, and will immediately absorb into anyone's skin, leaving them..." He shakes his head and trails off, amused. "That's why it has to brew so long, to burn off some of the potency."

Your mouth opens in amazement, taken aback by the idea. This is the real deal you decide, stepping back a couple inches in precaution. After watching the potion bubble for a couple more minutes you stretch and grab the watering can sitting by the floor of the door.

"I'm going to water the plants," you inform Asra, waving your hand briefly until the can is full of cool, crisp water. Gods knows there are at least three dozen inside and outside of the shop.

Asra is humming in confirmation that he heard you as you open the shop door to the plants hanging outside. You don't get very far before you're blindsided by a streak of purple darting through your legs.

Escape!

"Faust?!" You yelp, dancing around the squirming snake as she winds her way under and into the open shop. A loud, booming bark makes you jump again. This time a large hound dog is rounding the tight corner from the side street and barreling full speed towards you.

All hell breaks loose. The water can is up in the air, crashing wildly into the side of the building. You are thrown back onto the dusty floor and a mass of fur and teeth race past you, paying no mind to your yelling.

Help!

Faust is racing around the floor, narrowly avoiding the jaws of the angry dog she seemed to have aggravated. There's a large crash from inside and you cringe, hearing bottles break and wood crunch. You look back, scared at what you might find.

The shop is a disaster, papers strewn, vials broken, and potion pot toppled. Asra is groaning on the floor, obviously doing no better than the rest. You glance at him worriedly, taking quick notice of the potion he had been making spilled everywhere, even on him.

You snap your fingers and the dog's growl, who was cornering Faust by the bookshelf, turns into a whimper as you lift him up with your magic. "I'm sorry pooch," you sigh, "but we can't have you eating our friend." With a wave of your wrist the hound is out the door and down the street in an instant. The hinges creak and bell rings as the door is once again closed to outside.

Thank you!

Faust wriggles happily, red eyes glowing in relief. You guess she got up to some trouble with the local fauna. She slithers up the stairs quickly, leaving you to look around at the ruined shop.

"Ah, fuck," Asra's words cut through your thoughts like a knife. He's laying flat on the floor, chest heaving as though he just ran a marathon. Sweat glistens on his tan skin, covering him from head to toe.

You step over the broken bottles and kneel at his side. "My love?" You ask, unsure of what to do. It was obvious what had happened, it didn't take an expert. The potion that was supposed to be for your customer was now soaked into Asra's glowing skin.

Asra opens his eyes and you swallow hard. You know that look, and it nearly makes you start trembling where you sit. Lust is prevalent, clouding Asra's eyes until they're a dark amethyst color.

"You-" you start to speak but are cut off by Asra sitting up abruptly. His face is close to yours and his breath washes over your lips, hot and wanton. He looks positively desperate, just the sight of you sitting before him doing wonders.

"Please," Asra's voice comes out low and husky, he watches your chest rise and fall quickly as a result. "Can I please have you, right now."

You could almost call him asking like that soft and innocent, if it wasn't for the raw, hungry look he was giving you. His eyes were traveling everywhere across your body, leaving an invisible line that you could almost feel burning into your skin. Your lips parted and you let out a soft gasp, the power that kind of look had over you was astonishing. You shifted your legs under you subtly, feeling the result of the hot atmosphere low in your stomach.

"Tsk, tsk," you had to tease for a moment. "Closing the shop at midday for some fucking?" You reach up and cup Asra's cheek, feigning uncertainty. His skin on your fingertips burns white hot and you have to hide your amazement.

Asra's eyes narrow, he knew you too well. With a quick flick of his wrist you hear the deadbolt on the door slide into place. It's only a second later and both of his hands have found a place on either side of your hips.

"Why do you torment me?" he asks, pulling you close so your legs straddle him. "Can't you see I'm getting enough of that from this damn mistake of a potion?" His words are almost shaky, as though he can barely speak anymore. He presses his hips up to meet yours, and a soft sigh escapes his lips as he finally gets a little friction.

You dig your nails into his shoulders and gasp, the feeling of Asra so obviously in need is enough to make anyone go wild.

You can't resist grinding down lightly and Asra's eyes practically roll back at the sensation. "How can I say no to such a pretty face," you whisper, completely in love with his reaction.

That was enough for Asra and without added words he gathers you up in his strong arms and lifts you both. Your head falls back pleasurably when his lips find your neck. It only takes a few quick steps on his part to bring the two of you into the plush back room.

The purple cushions lining the cozy futon sink in gently as your back hits the mattress. The room has a slight pleasing haze as sandalwood incense burns at the table. The smell washes over your senses and a new wave of sensuality comes over the room.

Asra's hands hold you firmly as his lips continue to press lovingly into your skin. He hovers over you, one leg pressed between your legs, causing your hips to involuntarily move along his thigh.

"I need you out of these clothes," Asra groans, lips being stopped at your chest where your shirt has suddenly become a hindrance. He's already tugging at the hem, untucking the loose fabric from your waistband. You raise yourself to your elbows and help him pull the shirt over your head. At once it is thrown over Asra's shoulder and his eyes are set on your bare skin, drinking in the sight of his lover.

You smile at his admiration and lay back again, stretching your arms above your head and arching your back. You feel his hands on your stomach, traveling up to rest on your breasts. Your skin prickles with desire, flesh lighting on fire from his ministrations.

"How did I get so lucky," he breathes out, looking down at you with a look filled with love and passion. He rests the tips of his fingers on your nipples and swirls them lightly, leaving you to twist in torturous pleasure beneath his touch. "Everything about you is beautiful." Asra continues to flatter, lowering his head so his curls tickle your stomach. He licks a long line from the dip of your hip up to the valley between your breasts.

After a few moments of tasting your supple skin he moves his hands to the top of your skirt and tugs. You lift your hips in compliance and the fabric slides down your legs easily. Asra licks his lips as your body is finally fully presented to him.

"I could feast on you," he announces, voice lowered with need. "And I wouldn't go hungry in a lifetime." These words he whispers into your inner thigh, they tickle your skin softly.

You watch with bated breath as the man before you adores his lover. It's hard to keep your moans controlled as you feel his sinfully good tongue lick you in a way that can only be described as ecstasy.

Asra shifts into a more comfortable position, lying on his stomach and he brings your legs to lay comfortably over his shoulders. You shudder as you feel his hot breath flutter over your dripping slit. He doesn't waste anymore time and lowers his face to enjoy you.

Your thighs squeeze his head lightly as your body arches in response. Asra is devouring you as though you were a feast and it was the only meal he is to have in a lifetime. He grips your legs tightly to keep you from moving and covers your slit with his mouth, sucking for a moment on the tight nub at the top. He groans happily into your skin before moving down to lick your hole.

"Oh please, yes," you run your trembling hand through his hair and raise your hips up to meet his greedy mouth. He laps short, quick strokes first, stimulating you into madness.

After a moment he slows his tongue down to swirl languidly, looking up at you. You make eye contact and groan at the erotic scene of him eating you out. "That mouth of yours is too skilled for its own good," you whisper, fingers digging into his scalp, trying desperately to savor every swipe of his tongue.

Asra smiles against your folds. "I live to make you feel good, my dear." He says, pausing a moment. "You intoxicate me. Your smell, your taste. I couldn't get enough even if I had all the time in the world." He presses his lips on each one of your thighs with hot, open mouth kisses.

You blush at his words, feeling amazing under his praise. "Come here," you command softly, pulling on Asra's hair lightly to guide him back up your body. He kisses every inch of skin he passes before finally reaching your lips.

"Mm," he hums, taking your face in his hands. "But these lips, are like the finest honey in Vesuvia." He lifts your head so your mouths meet. It's a hot and feverish kiss, full of staggering amounts of love.

You press your body into his and relish in the feeling of kissing Asra. Your mouths are opened to one another and your tongues meet in fiery unison. While you enjoy the kiss you allow your hands to roam. Your fingers find his shirt buttons and you start to undo them as best you can, only a little distracted. It takes just a minute and you sigh happily into his mouth when you finally remove the annoying clothing.

You part a moment to admire the divinity of his body; prostrated before you. He was calling himself the lucky one, but you could probably make a pretty good argument for it being the other way around. He looked absolutely glorious in the hazy glow of the room.

As you reach for the waistband of his pants and rest your fingers playfully on the skin above it Asra breaks out in goosebumps at the fluttering feel of your touch.

"Ah," he breaths out, raising himself to his knees and closing his eyes. Clearly, he's enjoying the attention finally being on him.

"You are the one with the potion affecting them." You say, drawing a line from one hip to another. "It'd almost be criminal to ignore you for any longer." Your eyes fall to the bulge straining under Asra's pants, just begging to be free. A smile plays across your lips as his breaths quickens significantly.

"I.. wouldn't complain." He finally manages to say in a strained tone.

You smile, maybe a little too satisfied, and hook your fingers under the band. "I know." You chuckle, pulling. The trousers catch a moment on Asra's hardened length before slipping down to his knees. You take time to admire the sight before you, licking your lips. Asra is panting slightly, looking down at you lustfully as your eyes graze over him.

He grabs your head on either side and looks into your eyes. "Please," is all he can croak out.

You swallow thickly and you feel yourself dampen even more at his begging words. “I’d like nothing more" you say; need dripping heavily from your words. You lean forward and kiss the tip of his leaking slit lightly. Asra's body shivers with pleasure when your soft lips meet his aching shaft.

You take a breath before closing your mouth around his tip. Your cheeks hollow and you suck in deeply, enjoying the small sounds of pleasure emitting from Asra's lips. He groans even deeper as you finally swallow down his whole length, tip sliding down the back of your throat.

"Ah fuck, baby," he stutters through gritted teeth, fingers threading through your hair. He thrusts into your mouth without hesitation, reveling in the way you feel around him. The pace is fast and vicious, leaving no time for extra room for breathing.

You choke back your gasps and feel the involuntary tears prick at the corners or your eyes. Your hands fall to your sides as you let Asra use your mouth how he pleased. Licentious noises ring around the room as he sinks his member into your mouth relentlessly, moaning at each stroke and the salacious feelings that come over him.

His grip tightens in your hair as he pounds into your face. You open your mouth as widely as you can and take him in, ignoring the slight pain of labored breathing. The feeling of being used so mercilessly is intoxicating, and you close your eyes, enjoying the pleasure that overtakes you.

With a loud pop he pulls out of your drooling mouth, leaving you to be the one groaning in disappointment.

"I'm sorry love," he huffs dazedly, need heavy on his features. "But if I don't stop this now I'm cumming in your mouth."

"That doesn't sound so bad," you complain, sticking your tongue out so Asra can view how much you want it. His eyes darken considerably and he looks ready to break.

He takes a breath in sharply, steadying himself before holding your face gently in his hand. "As much as I want you fuck your face, that pussy of yours I know is dripping for me and I have to comply." He chuckles, running his thumb along your lip.

You whimper at his words, practically climaxing at the suggestion. You meet his eyes in a needy manner and nod. "Oh, Asra," you start, already seeing excitement flit across his face at the mention of his name. "I want you more than I can even describe to you."

To this Asra inhales sharply, thumb still hooked in your mouth. "Tell me how you want me," he says, barely able to contain his own desire.

"I want you to fuck me from behind," you begin, knowing exactly how to please his ears. "I'm going to cry and moan, and beg you for relief but you will know better." His eyes widen in ecstasy but you continue anyway. "I want you to give everything you can to me, without holding back."

Asra seems to snap right in front of you. His features immediately seem to plead for consolation. "You'll get what you ask for." He growls, fingers tightening in your mouth. You lick his thumb seductively and the action throws him over the edge.

Asra's hands fly to your waist and hold you firmly, you're flipped over; ass to the heavens greeting him. He swallows at the sight and digs both palms into the flesh, enjoying the feeling immensely. "So needy and ready for me," he groans, finger finding your entrance and slipping in easily. You gulp at the warmth of having fingers enter you. Asra is unrelenting and curls them cruelly against your walls.

"Just fuck me already!" You cry, unable to hide your desires anymore. You hear Asra laugh behind you, yet despite this you know he is dying to sink himself into you.

"Alright, alright." He concedes, taking your hips in his hands. "If you insist."

You feel his tip slide against your slit and shudder, craving the feeling of him inside you. It doesn't take more than a moment before you feel him start to enter you. You lay your head down, turning your face so you can watch Asra take you from behind.

His lips are parted in a silent moan as he relishes in the feeling of your walls around him. You sigh softly as he fully sheaths himself in you, a small tremor passing over your body from the pleasure. One moment, two moments pass as you both bask in the feeling of being connected.

"Give me your hands," he commands, slowly sliding in and out of you, giving no care to his agonizingly slow pace. Soft gasps are falling from your lips as you try to register his request.

Carefully, you cross your arms behind your back. It's no use to keep the blush at bay as you take in the dirty scene. Your face is pressed to the pillows, unable to move much as Asra takes your wrists and pins them to your back. Your ass is raised in the air to meet his rhythmic thrusting.

Asra grips one of your thighs with a free hand and quickens the pace a little. Your eyes shut tightly as your body responds. You can feel his tip hit deep inside of you with each snap of his hips. It's unrelenting and you have to catch yourself from begging for more.

You feel the fingers around your wrist tighten a bit as Asra's breathing speeds up behind you. You know that he's set on giving you as much painfully slow torture as he can manage himself, but you also know that potion is working against him. There's nothing he wants more than to let go and pound you into the mattress.

"Baby," you choke out, words bouncing along with your bodies. "I know you want to fuck me so good right now." Your voice is deep with seduction. "Please just fill me up like I know you want to." You finish your plea, watching his face with satisfaction. His eyes are darkened with desire. He takes just a few more strokes before slowly to a stop inside you.

"You asked for it," he warns. He only takes a moment to let go of your wrists and flips your body so you're facing him. He cages you in on either side and licks his lips as he stares into your eyes. His hungry mouth meets yours in a kiss full of fire. You can melt into it for only a second before you feel him grab your hips and pull you flush against him; Your cries drowned by his lips as he sets an erratic pace, skin meeting with loud slaps.

"Fucking hell," he groans, still kissing you between words. "You feel like heaven on earth. You're so hot, and I can feel your insides squeezing me." He explains, hot breath falling over your face. Your cheeks burn at his descriptions.

You loop your arms around his neck and press your chest into his. Your skin meets, shining with sweat and burning from love. Asra presses back, savoring the feeling of your nipples brushing against his.

You start to feel that familiar blossom of unreleased pleasure pool in your lower stomach. Asra's shaft is hitting you just right, sending jolts of satisfaction right to your core.

"Oh-" you stop and whine pleasantly when he shifts angles. "Fuck. Please yes, don't stop!" Your arms drop and nails dip into his biceps and you grit your teeth from the hot delight searing through your body.

"I couldn't even If i wanted to," Asra answers, words strained as his grasp on himself starts to crumble. His breath is leaving his lips in short pants now and you can almost see the resolve to hold on slip away before your eyes.

He falls into you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and thrusts into you with all of the strength he can muster. You bury your face in his neck and take hold of his hair. You can feel Asra's body shuddering to not let go.

You bring your lips to his ear and bite his lobe. "Won't you come for me sweetheart? Please empty yourself in me." You whisper.

Asra takes in a sharp breath and you hear him choke at your words. They were enough to push him over the edge and he rams into you with a low, strangled cry.

Your head falls back and your mouth opens in a silent scream as Asra lets himself go in you. Your legs shake violently of their own accord as you feel your orgasm wash over you, leaving your body in euphoric fire.

Asra's lips immediately find yours as you ride out your orgasms together. You kiss him passionately, all of your senses in overdrive. His kisses are soft, and sweet, a clear declaration of his love. Happiness rushes in like a flood as you enjoy the afterglow. After a minute Asra removes himself from you and joins you in laying down, sides still heaving from the activities.

"My dear, how I love you." He says with a smile, running his fingers in slow, soft circles on your stomach.

You turn on your side and look into his eyes. He looked content, and his cheeks were dimpled from his growing grin.

"I love you too," you return, hand falling into his. His skin was still warm. The two of you lay there for a while, out of breath and simply enjoying the presence of one another.

Eventually, Asra sits up and looks down at you with humor in his eyes. "Well, I think I can tell our buyer that we did an extensive review of his product and it does, in fact, work."

Your face breaks into a smile and you laugh at Asra's words. "Oh goodie, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear all about it."

#the arcana game #asra alnazar #the arcana #asra lemon #asra smut #asra x reader #asra x female reader #writing #fanfic #arcana smut #arcana #arcana fanfic #asra fanfic

1K notes · View notes

sumsebien · 3 years ago

Text

by design pt.7 // prince friedrich

series masterlist

summary: the ball is coming. friedrich has planned a surprise for you. but there's another one that not even he, the King or the Queen knew of.

word count: 5.9k

warnings: language, occasionally

a/n: I wrote this a while back but never finished it. I'm not sure whether or not i'll continue the series despite having planned all of the remaining chapters. But I know there are those that are really invested in this story so I just thought it'd be nice to wrap this one up before I decide anything concrete. As always, thanks a lot for reading and supporting this series!

...

When Friedrich swung the doors to his chambers open this morning, all of his staff were outside the door, expecting their Prince to still be fast asleep. They blinked at him for a moment before remembering to bow. Must have been quite the shock for his staff to forget their etiquettes. It was usually Friedrich who did.

But he didn’t blame them. He hadn’t woken up this early on his own since he was twelve, before his obsession with watching the sun rise while the city slept ended. His own circadian rhythm returned to that of an average person with classes he did not wish to attend and duties he would rather overlook.

There were exceptions from time to time like Christmas mornings and trips to the English countryside with his friends. Today, though, the reason behind this abnormality in his schedule was you. He woke early because his mind wouldn’t stop buzzing about you. You and your bright, wide eyes, marveling at every little thing he showed you about his homeland. He was falling in love with Prussia all over again through your eyes. And he was falling in love with you.

Friedrich had been picturing your reaction to Schönhausen Palace, a potential summer home, for you. With his mother and Heinrich’s help, he had been quietly turning the house into an English Eden in the middle of Berlin. You would love it when you saw it, he knew that. Every tweak he made, he did it with you in mind.

Still, he had other estates waiting in the countryside for if you did not like this one. The only qualms he had with them was that they were much too far away from Berlin. He wasn’t sure if he could be apart from you for so long.

Friedrich dismissed his staff for the day, except for Heinrich who could not be dismissed. At least not after he had briefed Friedrich with the daily agendas, like always.

“Today, all the noble families are arriving. But you’ll only have to greet the Prince and Princesses of Bavaria, per her Majesty, the Queen’s request-”

“Does Y/N know that we’re going horse-riding today?” Friedrich interrupted, turning a quarter of the way to make sure his valet heard.

“Yes, sir. She’s aware.”

“And are the Berliners ready?”

“I’ll collect them right after this. There’s no need to worry, sir.”

Friedrich nodded. Everything was going as it should. The pace picked up again. The sound of their steadily fast footsteps filled the halls.

“What about the big surprise? Is it done?”

“Yes, sir. Everything is in order. Like I said, there’s nothing to worry about-”

“What’s there to worry about?”

The third voice coming from the end of the hallway startled both men. Friedrich gave Heinrich a quick look so that they were on the same page about keeping things as tight-lipped as possible. At least until the very last moment. And then he turned to you with the most innocent grin he could muster.

You stood by the stairs, your heels tapping gently against the floors as they approached. Somehow you shone brighter than the gold leafing on the chandeliers, brighter than the sun pouring into the halls itself.

“Oh hello,” he said, holding his hand out behind his back until he felt the cool touch of metal on his skin. Friedrich closed his palm around a skeleton key and slipped it into his pockets. “We were just talking about the Bavarians.”

Your gaze flickered between himself and Heinrich. A crease settled between your eyebrows as you thought over what he said.

“Were you, actually?” you asked. It wouldn’t be you if you didn’t. This time, though, the question was directed at the nervous valet who was a horrible liar, couldn’t do it to save his life.

Friedrich was cringing quietly on the sidelines. The only consolation in the case that Heinrich ruined the surprise was that Friedrich would feed him to Ludovica as a sacrifice.

“Yes. It’s the first thing you have on your agendas today. Aside from that, both of you are free to go on your horse ride.”

Smart move. Talking about agendas. Although Friedrich liked to tease his dear friend about his obsession with schedules and timetables, the geekiness worked in their favor this once. You deemed it believable (or boring) enough, took Friedrich’s hand and moved onto a different topic as you descended the stairs together.

The surprise was safely kept in Friedrich’s pockets, for now.

…

“Not the trumpet!” Friedrich groaned.

You stood on your tippy toes to spy on what was happening in the courtyard. You saw guards hauling trunks of luggage into the foyer. The one that was causing Friedrich’s distress looked suspiciously like a musical instrument of some kind, just not a trumpet.

“It’s the French horn, darling,” Frederica corrected. She then directed you a look. “He has had a grudge with Ludovica since they were children.”

You smiled. You remembered all the times he had brought up the Bavarian Princess. She had become quite the legend in your mind. After all, only a handful of people could make Friedrich, the picture of patience and composure, see red.

“You make me sound so unreasonable, Mother. I had and still have fair reasons.”

“She called Berliner a Pfannkuchen, didn’t she?” you asked.

It was hard to keep a straight face and make it sound like a genuine question rather than a jab at his passions for the Berliner. However, you managed to hold back laughter while your mother-in-law, on the other hand, was not shy to let her son know he was being mocked.

“They call it Krapfen in Bavaria,” Friedrich said quietly before continuing a little louder, “But that is not the point! I thought we were a team? Team Berliner, were we not?”

“We are. We are,” you said through fits of giggles. “I just couldn’t pass up on the chance to make fun of you. It’s so easy!”

“Sure,” he grumbled. “My own mother and wife.”

“Don’t be such a sourpuss, darling! We’re getting along! You should be happy!” said Frederica.

The Bavarians’ arrival was announced with horns and the following silence of everyone in the room. You expected a certain rigidness when it came to greeting nobilities but you were pleasantly surprised when the older man, Prince Karl broke into a large smile, opening his arms to greet the Queen.

“How lovely to see you, Frederica!” he spoke, his voice booming against the silence.

Frederica laughed, greeting her guests with a kiss on the cheek each. “Grüß Gott! How are you all? How was your trip?”

“Good, your Majesty,” said the older woman whom you presumed was Princess Marie.

“And look at you! You’ve grown since I last saw you!” said the Prince with a laugh, patting Friedrich on the arm.

“I would hope so, sir,” Friedrich chuckled.

You observed them for a while, watching how Friedrich - your idiot turned into this absolute charmer of a politician. You saw flashes of this side of him when he was with you. But if you had to choose, you’d choose the boy you met on the train that night over anyone else.

Princess Marie leaned in to whisper something to Friedrich, both their gazes on you momentarily. Something told you they were talking about you. What, exactly? You weren’t sure.

Friedrich let out a small laugh and leaned ever-so-slightly forward to say something back, his gloved hand on his chest. You tugged on your own gloves, observing him and wondering if you could ever be so gracious one day.

Then, as if they could feel your stare, all of their eyes fell upon you. Prince Karl was the first to come up and greet you, giving the back of your hand a kiss and a firm shake. “My princess! You are absolutely radiant! How very nice to meet you!”

“It’s my honor, your Highnesses. I do hope your stay with us will be pleasant.”

…

“She’s most wonderful, darling Friedrich. Most people don’t get this lucky with their betrothed.”

Friedrich took a glance at you. He had to concur. There was no doubt in his mind. And he could finally say that now without feeling any tinge of guilt about his own feelings for you.

You were most wonderful not because you were the one he was falling for. You were most wonderful because you were you. The type of person who would laugh harder at his more horrible jokes just so he felt better, who threw themself into a ball to fix what someone else did, who had been so gracious at every turn.

Now that he was brave enough to accept his feelings, he yearned to admit them to you and hear the same echoed back to him. But that was a fantasy. For now, he was happy all the same just to be your friend. That someone who knew exactly what to do to make you smile.

He decided that your happiness was enough.

While he talked, Ludovica slipped right past them, up to you. He forgot she was even here. As she did though, he could feel his soul depart his body. What was she going to do? All the irksome encounters, snarky remarks he had ever had with the Bavarian Princess passed through his mind.

He excused himself, swiftly exiting his conversation with Marie but was not fast enough. Ludovica bore a smile and did the impossible. She threw her arms around you and pulled you into a hug.

He nearly gasped. And he could tell you were shocked too. A hug? A HUG? No one greeted strangers with a hug. Not in Prussia, not in England and certainly not in Bavaria.

Where were her manners? Well, who was he kidding? When did she ever have any? He scoffed to himself.

“Poor you,” she whispered, still loud enough for him to hear though. “I feel like you’ll need that. This one’s a lost cause.”

“I can hear you, Eure Hoheit,” Friedrich cleared his voice, looming on the side.

“Didn’t recall talking to you, ol’ Friedrich,” she glared at him. “As I was saying, I’m Ludovica, but everyone calls me Ludo.”

“Y/N. Lovely to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you.”

“If it’s from him then it doesn’t count. Whatever he said about my French horn is a lie and you must know that I’m excellent at it.”

Friedrich stared at you, hoping you would take one look at his face and hear his thoughts. She was far worse than the Smythe-Smith sisters. Do not engage further into this matter.

“You must play for us sometimes,” you said, your hand falling on his arm at the mention of us. Friedrich saw the grin on your face too and knew in that moment, he could forgive you for subjecting you both to bleeding ears.

“Oh, finally! An audience-”

“An audience willing to be tortured by you?” challenged Friedrich.

“An audience with taste,” she quipped. “And you should join me, Friedrich. After all, no one can beat you at flute. Great Uncle Bach would have retired if he ever had the pleasure of hearing you play live.”

Between you inviting Ludovica to play and him being thrown to the lions, Friedrich was rendered rather speechless. He may be able to tolerate singing children's songs and dancing like a fool but not the flutes. Absolutely not.

He wasn’t sure if he could ever erase the memories of that Christmas night years ago.

The big throne room was filled with fir trees that brushed the ceiling and demanding, pushy relatives. He had been working up the courage to get on stage and he would have done so had the French horn enthusiast here didn’t shove him so brutally from the wings. People were laughing and his father stared him down until he shakily held the flute up to his lips.

He was so shaken afterwards that he forgot to sabotage Ludovica’s performance. Something he truly regretted not doing.

“You play the flute? How did I not know that?”

“Because I don’t,” he answered quickly, looking over to Karl, Marie and his mother in hopes their conversation had wrapped up and they were ready to take this pain in the ass away.

“Ludovica!” called Karl. “Let us go, darling.”

How foolish he was to think that was the end of it and she would shake hands with you and bid you a peaceful, free-from-contempt goodbye.

Instead, she grinned and said, “Oh, he does. Trust me, he does.”

…

Friedrich and you decided to have your lunch by a little pond, surrounded by tall beech trees. Every time a breeze blew by, it would start raining gold and bronze leaves everywhere, covering the grounds in a bed of crunchy foliage. The sight you were beholding felt like something straight out of a fairytale book where a Prince and a Princess danced on the fallen leaves in the crisp autumn sun.

In your case, though, your Prince was fishing a leaf out of his champagne. He gave his health a moment's thought and then proceeded to drink from the glass anyways.

“Friedrich, ew.”

He held up the bottle, gesturing to the labels. “I am not going to waste good wine just because a leaf fell in it. This is Dom Perignon, straight from Louis XIV’s wine cellar.”

“Still, a little unhygienic, don’t you think? There are no bathrooms here either.”

“Oh, you would be surprised,” he winked, lying down on the linen blanket, resting his head on top of his bundled coat.

“I pray it’s not what I think it is. That would be wholly inappropriate for a Prince to say to a lady.”

“You’re not just any lady,” he said, retying the strings of his loose shirt. The one he always wore in private. You looked away, just so you wouldn’t get flustered. “You’re my wife. I think I’m allowed to take a few liberties with that.”

My wife.

You were thankful he wasn’t looking at you when he said so. He didn’t have to see the hairs on the nape of your neck rise, the shivers that sent your eyes closed.

It was cold, hard facts. You reminded yourself. You were married, had been so for over a month now.

Besides, it probably meant nothing. Friedrich had been very generous with pet names recently - my heart, my love, my darling, my wife. He started casually peppering them into greetings which then turned into just about every other sentence. You knew it was his way of teasing but sometimes, it felt so real. Like he meant it. And you would forget how to act around him. Like the last month never happened.

Friedrich had his eyes closed, whistling quietly. It gave you some time and him some distraction while you gathered your thoughts.

“Alright then. Since we’re on the topic of being honest…did you actually play the flute?”

Friedrich’s eyes widened at what you asked him. And then, he simply rolled over onto his side away from you, head between his hands. “No!” he said into his palms.

You considered telling him that he bore remarkable resemblance to a child right now but assumed that he was embarrassed enough already. So you just poked at his side. “You can tell me these things. I’m your wife, remember?” You said, waving your hand in front of his face until he gave in and sat up.

“Promise you won’t use this against me someday.”

“I won’t,” you shook your head solemnly. “Promise.”

Finally, he told you about that Christmas night. How he stared at the walls for hours afterwards thinking about what his father said to him.“You can’t even stand in front of me without shaking. How are you going to be the future King of Prussia?” You felt bad for little Friedrich. Because little you knew exactly how that felt. You still did.

“I’m sorry I kept asking.”

Friedrich gave you a small smile, leaning over so that his shoulder bumped into yours. “It’s no big deal. It’s in the past. I don’t let those things bother me anymore.”

“My parents wanted to teach me a lot of things,” you said, nodding towards your horse. “Most of which I never mastered. That’s why I’m in this.” You gestured at your outfit, breeches and a coat, just like Friedrich’s. “I had to refuse all invitations to go horse riding with my suitors in London and make it look like I was playing hard to get.”

He started to bite back a smile as you told your tale but it eventually turned into a full on laugh. You couldn’t help your own smile growing slowly wider.

For the first few seconds, he was truly adorable. But the longer it went on, the more annoying he got. And you tried to make him stop by giving him a push. Friedrich ended up rolling onto the ground, shaking with laughter and completely unbothered by your attempt at violence. If anything, it only amused him more.

Once you had both caught your breath, you laid down next to him, the picnic basket between you two. The foliage overhead shielded you from the direct sunlight but left little pockets of blue sky for you to admire.

“It’s their loss, you know?” he asked, turning to you. “I love your outfit. Besides, it’s much more mobile than the typical gown, is it not?”

“Oh, your Highness, I could ride astride in a gown and win you in a race. Anyday.”

The momentary silence returned, filling the air with potential. He bore his blue eyes into yours, studying your face, searching for something. You weren’t sure what he was looking for, nor if he found it when he smiled and said, “Oh, I don’t doubt that. Not one bit.”

…

The King was tired this morning when he woke up. Throbbing headaches, one on top of the other as he sat up on the edge of his bed. He was in no mood to greet Frederica’s friends. She could do it herself. So he decided to lie down again, delighting in the prospects of being able to go back to bed.

And then, he heard frantic knocks against the door.

“Fuck off!” he called, covering his ears with the pillow. That did nothing. The knocks persisted, shaking the doorframe. Someone was in a mood to get their head chopped off today.

The King ignored the ache in his head as he slowly made his way to the door. If this was what it took to get some silence around here again then he’d gladly do it.

“What?” he snapped, only opening the door a quarter of the way so as to minimize the bright sunlight from worsening his pain.

The guard bowed, apologizing profusely when he realized he had interrupted the King’s sleep.

“You have three seconds before I slam this door in your face.”

“Oh, of course, Eure Majestät. She’s here. The Queen-”

He could almost laugh. “The Queen’s been here for weeks. Has this place gone mad?”

“I meant the Queen Mother, your mother, sir.”

By the time the King managed to get properly dressed and rushed to his mother’s chambers, Bernadine was already there pacing back and forth like a pendulum.

“There you are,” she said with a sigh. “Your mother is here and she’s not happy.”

He nodded, “I know.” And then went straight for the door. Bothering his mother while she was in a foul mood was a stupid decision but letting her think he purposefully ignored her was even worse.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Frederica.

He hadn’t had to see her face for almost a year now, since last Christmas. He had intended to keep it that way before she suddenly arrived in Berlin declaring to coplan the ball. The King reluctantly stopped to face his wife. He thanked the Lord that the devil dog wasn’t here. He was afraid he might have to fling himself out of the windows from all these unpleasant encounters.

“And why? May I humbly ask?” he asked, his eyes following her as she walked right past Bernadine who curtsied, out of etiquette. If it was up to him, Frederica should have been the one to curtsy.

“I talked to your mother,” she said, giving Bernadine a glance. He hated that his mother got along with Frederica. He’d much rather his mother hate his wife like she hated every other woman he had ever been interested in. “She was very clear. She doesn’t want to see anyone but Friedrich.”

“So then bring her Friedrich,” he sighed, looking around at the terrified staff. All of them backed off when his gaze swept past. “What is with everyone being so slow these days?”

“He left.”

“What do you mean he left?”

…

After lunch, Friedrich invited you on a walk, to show you something. Judging by the looks of it, it was most definitely something special. And top secret.

“No peeking!” he said, for the eleventh time.

He made you close your eyes and cover them with your hand. So now you were walking, blinded, in the woods. Your guide was an idiot. An idiot who had really soft hands. You thought being unable to see might make you somehow immune to his charming grin and stupidly perfect face but it only worsened the effect he had on you.

He placed one on the small of your back, the other on the crook of your elbow. You felt it every time he moved his hand, every time he dug his fingers into your skin to nudge you in a certain direction. The anticipation of not knowing what his next move was didn’t help either. And neither did the caramelized aroma of coffee lingering on his clothes.

“If I open my eyes, it will be to punch you for making me trip on a branch or fall into a hole.”

His grip around you tightened. “I won’t,” he laughed before inching closer to whisper, “At least not on purpose.”

You let out a shaky breath once you felt he was far enough from you to not notice. You needed to keep your head cool, enough to make him think you were unphased by his words and his touch.

“I swear, Friedrich. You had better be on your best behavior.”

“You sound like Oma. She’d always say that- Ouch!”

You had given him a swat on the hand. A well deserved one. “That did not hurt,” you scoffed.

“Yeah, you hit like my Oma too - Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled, sensing another one coming.

“I understand why Daphne left you for Simon now. What do you think you’re doing? Comparing a girl to your grandmother? I know I’m no love interest but still!”

“I’ll have you know: my grandmother is a very interesting person. A bit scary but I guess that goes away with time.”

You had been through this many times before in your life: dreading what was to come and feeling absolutely helpless about it. Three times with Friedrich, the King and Frederica. The results were never as horrible as you had imagined but you wouldn’t allow yourself to feel peace before. Because God forbid this should be unlike those times before. You could not afford for his Oma to hate you.

You sighed with good humor, not wanting Friedrich to worry about you. “Alright, tell me something about her.”

“What would you like to know?”

“Anything? Something not scary, preferably. I would like to not be trembling when I meet her.”

Friedrich chortled, sliding his cotton gloved hand down your arm to hold your hand. His fingers around yours as he helped you step past a small log. To your dismay but also odd satisfaction, his hand stayed there.

“You may not believe it but I was rather puny as a child. The smallest out of all my cousins. At family dinners, the other kids would take my desserts and I wouldn’t be able to fight to get them back.”

He went on to tell you that his Oma had the chefs send pastries to his room afterward, behind his parents’ back. You thought it was cute. And while it was told with good intentions, all the story reinforced was that Friedrich was her favorite, dearest grandson.

No pressure, at all.

From the way he talked about his Oma, you could feel his love. It was different from the one he had for his mother. With Frederica, it was the unbreakable bond forged between mother and child. One that had been there since the day he was born. With his Oma, though, it was respect and adoration for someone who he learned to love as he grew up. You never knew your grandmother but if you had one like his, you would love her too.

“We’re here,” he paused. You swore you heard him taking a deep breath. Was he nervous? “You can open your eyes now.”

Now you were nervous. An eternity seemed to have passed since he made you close your eyes. What surprise did he have for you this time?

You opened your eyes, squinting at the light as you adjusted to the natural brightness around you. When your vision finally cleared up, you still had to blink thrice at the sight before you. You were looking at a beautiful three-story Palace, standing humbly in this part of the woods, just waiting to be discovered. But even more impressive than the building itself were the gardens that surrounded it.

You were standing under a hedge gate, with purple wisteria flowers climbing all up the sides. Friedrich had to duck his head to avoid knocking against one of the branches. You slowly strolled along the gravel path lined with trimmed hedges, your eyes running over all the flower beds: honeysuckle, lily of the valley, foxglove, forget-me-not and roses. So many rose bushes. The vibrant smell and colors had your senses going wild.

You could barely utter a word. All you had were gasps and looks to throw Friedrich’s way. The first thing you said to him was when he had taken you inside of the house, into a huge lobby.

“This is absolutely gorgeous, Friedrich,” you said, taking everything in - the elaborate details on the ceiling and walls, the uniquely patterned tiles on the floors, the bold color choices of the furniture. “Whoever lives here must have been quite eclectic. They did an amazing job on the furnishing.”

He grinned, “Yes, quite. This was Queen Elisabeth Christine’s summer home.”

You two stopped before a portrait of a beautiful woman in a powder blue dress. She sat in front of a curtained wall, behind which was a rather familiar landscape.

“Is that-”

“Elisabeth Christine in front of this very house. She commissioned that painting herself. Do you know her?”

Do you know her? How could you forget? The ill-fated Elisabeth Christine, wife of Friedrich the Great. The missing portrait in the gallery you walked past every day. Even though you didn’t think of her as often as you did in the beginning, her story always left you terrified for your own future. And the thought sent your heart sinking, swallowing all the joy you had just felt moments ago.

“Y/N, is everything alright?” he asked, growing more frantic by the second.

“I’m alright. Just need some fresh air, that’s all.”

He took you back out into the gardens where fresh air filled your lungs and cooled your skin. You sat down on a marble bench, in front of a red rose bush. You focused on the rose almost in bloom, sitting behind all the thorny branches. Its scarlet velvet petals distracted you while you tried to regain control of your own mind.

Friedrich kneeled before you, quietly watching you with attentive ocean eyes. When your eyes met, you gave him a small smile. Not meant to mock or jeer. It was simply a smile. He returned it with one of his own.

“You scared me to death.”

“Sorry. Just had a moment there.”

He nodded, eyes floating past you, towards the roses. You didn’t know what he was going to do until he reached out, leaning his entire body forward. His blond curls almost brushed your face as he plucked the red rose you had been eyeing.

You froze, unable to breath, unable to move. You were afraid if you did, you would pull him right into your arms.

He looked so huggable. He always did. But especially in his poet’s shirt and coat. The jacket fronts left hanging open. You could easily snake your hands around his waist through them.

You continued to be in this confusing state as you watched him kneel back down, fidgeting with the stem. You didn't register what he was doing until he placed a thornless rose on your lap. Your eyes immediately searched his hands. He had just stuck his hand in a rose bush and picked off all the thorns of a rose, for you.

You would be reeling from the romantic nature of his gesture but you had a feeling. Just as you feared, you found a tear in his glove.

You didn’t think. You just took his hand into yours, peering past the torn cloth and discovered a long cut across the back of his hand. Luckily, it wasn’t deep. But nevertheless, it was bleeding.

“Are you crazy? You’re bleeding!”

“Am I?” Friedrich laughed when he saw it, sitting down next to you. “That didn’t even hurt.”

“Give me some water,” you said, holding out your hand. Friedrich fished a flask out from his coat and placed it in your hold without any objection. He’d better not start joking now.

You took his glove off, still mumbling, “Are you insane? What’s wrong with you?”

Friedrich looked away, trying not to laugh as he apologized. It bothered you that he was so nonchalant about it. You thought about hitting him so that he would start regretting what he did. But then when you had to clean the cut, you found yourself hesitating as you hovered the flask over his hand.

You didn’t want to hurt him.

You bit your lips, watching his expressions to see if it burned. Friedrich didn’t even flinch. He was completely unaffected.

Then, you broke eye contact, looking down at the flask as you closed it.

At your momentarily puzzled gaze, he dipped his head, his curls toppling over to match your eye line once more. “Believe me, I’ve had much worse. This is nothing more than a paper cut. When I was learning how to ride a horse—”

“No!” you held up your hand. “I’m not hearing all the ways you recklessly injured yourself. What makes you think that helps?” you asked, securing his glove around his hand. “And what were you thinking? You could have severely injured your hand!”

“Are you done?”

You raised an eyebrow. He did not just. You sighed, holding back from shoving him back into the rose bush. “You are astonishingly idiotic. There, I’m done.”

Friedrich laughed and you found yourself fighting another grin again. Your anger simmered down at the sound of his warm voice.

“I’m sorry that I worried you.” He then held up the rose with his other hand and continued, “I was thinking about this.”

Friedrich brought his hand to your cheek, lingering there for a moment before his fingers pushed a tuft of your hair along with the flower behind your ear. He sat back to admire you, beaming.

That very moment, something snapped in place.

You inhaled sharply. This time, there was no doubt that he had heard it. “Friedrich,” you called, quietly.

“Yes?”

You leaned in until your cheek brushed his. By then, you couldn’t hear anything but the heartbeat thumping so loudly, so rapidly inside your chest. You turned your head, your lips to his cheeks.

“Thank you for today,” you said before pressing a soft kiss onto his cheek.

When you pulled away, Friedrich couldn’t take his eyes off you. And neither could you look anywhere else but him. His cheeks blushed pink, the spot where you kissed him tinged with the lipstick you wore.

He may just feel the same.

“Shall we head back?” you asked with a grin.

…

Once again, Heinrich found himself in the middle of the crossfire. This time though, it was amongst the King, the Queen and the King’s mistress. Not an easy crowd to be in, that was for sure. He could feel their gazes on him from three corridors away. And he knew what he was being summoned for. He really didn’t mind keeping secrets and being the middleman for Friedrich. After all, they were dear friends. But being sent for every other day to meet the King or the Queen was certainly sending him to an early grave.

The King stood up, his heavy cloak dropping onto the floor with a dull thud when he saw Heinrich. “Where’s my son? And why is it that every time he steps out of line, you’re there to help?”

“Eure Majestäten, I-”

Before Heinrich could utter a pathetic excuse out, the Queen held up a hand to stop him with a knowing look. “Does it matter where he is, Ludwig? What matters is that he’ll come back soon. Yes?”

Heinrich wasn’t exactly sure how to react. Agree with the Queen and disagree with the King or vice versa. So he gave something between a nod and shake of the head, resembling a confused roly-poly doll in the process.

“One of these days, I’ll lock this damn place up and no one goes in or out without my permission.”

The Queen had her back to the King, taking slow steps away. The King was staring daggers into her back. But something told Heinrich that she wasn’t exactly afraid of him. Not at all.

“Then, you’d have to authorize guards and maids going in and out everyday for their shifts. Sounds a bit excessive, don’t you think? Wouldn’t you rather spend that precious time on doing things that are actually important for the country? Like hunting, perhaps?” She turned to face him, a challenging look in her eyes.

The King’s face turned bright red, his fists balled. The Queen’s smirk remained on her lips, holding her chin high. Heinrich could only blink, keeping close watch on both of them. There was little chance of a first fight between the monarchs but he was prepared for anything. And yes, that included placing himself in the middle of the violence.

But there was no need. Just in time, in marched a group of guards, escorting the couple of the hour. Friedrich and you. Any later and Heinrich might just drop dead of a heart attack.

“Hurry up. Your grandmother is asking for you,” the King said. His voice surprisingly flat, compared to minutes earlier. “Just you.”

That was when Heinrich noticed you two were holding hands. Friedrich tugged you a tad closer. “It’s alright. I’ll be with you in a second,” Heinrich heard the Prince say.

You nodded. “Go.”

The tender moment left the room speechless. Heinrich had no idea what happened in the span of a couple of hours you were gone. But whatever did change, he was glad for it. Maybe you two weren’t so clueless after all.

taglist: @awesomebooklover17 @oopsiedoopsie23 @milkbaer @vampirestookmydoubts @5hundreddaysofsummer @km-98 @mikeys-thighs @lunas1x1 @albeeox @darkestbeforethedawn16 @defffcc @sarcasm-n-insomnia @urie-bowie-mercury @babydidoy @cvpidsletters @mmmh-i-cant-help-myself @fanaticalfantasist @xoxomandoo @littlered00 @heartofrosecoloredglasses @truly-insatiable @thingfromlove @tearsrichochets @littlelindy @nipple-twisting-washing-machine @smailaway @classygladiatorcupcake @daughterofautumn

#prince friedrich x reader #prince friedrich x yn #prince friedrich fanfic #prince friedrich imagine #prince friedrich x you #prince friedrich fanfiction #prince friedrich imagines #by design

289 notes · View notes

ruby-whistler · 4 years ago

Text

i made a list of the vibes of the hermits i watch, so you might want to check some of them out! this is just mostly jokes, but i thought all of the more “serious” propaganda was missing something, so have what truly makes hermitcraft worth it; the players’ unique styles!

will be back on my dsmp stuff asap but it’s the first day of season 8 and i would really appreciate if you checked them out through the links provided :]

Grian; [ episode one link ]

vibes of a 17 year old mcyter, is actually 27 and married

noo not my red jumpah!

chaotic capitalist

someone is making the server better through order? *starts another war* whoops, hand slipped :D

he built a- he rebuilt his entire megabase in survival, above a giant lake of lava, in the nether, on hard mode, upside down??

“watching as scar dies over and over in my trap is peak comedy and i’m tired of pretending it’s not” but it happens like 5 times i every season

video editing is very main-stream and good for short attention spans!

*sad montage over losing stuff he’ll get back in 15 minutes because he’s rich*

pesky birdd! great elytra flier! amazing builder! will tnt your house! poultrymannn!!

wholesome, chaos incarnate, talented architect

why won’t mumbo respond to my messages it’s been two weeks :[ (clingy)

doors???????????? your house has doors???? no doors for you good sir!

will laugh a lot at a lot of things, esp when he’s with his friends

genuinely just so fun to watch

Mumbo Jumbo; [ episode one link ]

perfect british accent

mustache man (warning: he has no mustache irl)

*fails ten businesses in a row* iskall please help

redstone is his element

“it’s actually quite simple” i like your funny words magic man, now can you repeat how in the hell you made a that fancy vault work-

filmographer?? i think? met up with grian irl

him and grian have a robot son named grumbot. that has nothing to do with the vibes but i had to mention him because he means a lot to me.

tries to stay out of wars and server politics until someone (grian) drags him into them

minigame maker, makes the hermits competitive and that is scary (also very funny) e. g. button, hermit challengesss!

“it’ll be fineee” *que shot of everything on fire behind him*

makes his base a living being and then all his neighbors end up feeding it instead of him

conspiracy theorist. bumbo baggins. the usual.

very entertaining videos that help you learn more about minecraft mechanics!

GoodTimesWithScar; [ episode one link ]

wheelchair creator with literally the best vibes

so wholesome i. he is so cool he makes me so happy :’D

*extremely cool announcer voice* ooooo hello there my fellow miners and crafters, good timeees with scar heree, and welcome backk to the wonderful world of hermits and crafting, and we’re flying over-

commentates everything extremely well

spends tenths of hours on builds within a single video and doesn’t bat an eye

lore for all of his builds! he builds these amazing bases to tell a story!

“i wanna see white flags! white flags, outside your base, by-“ wait no wrong anti-rebellion army leader

all videos have a clear objective

mostly building, but he loves hanging out/helping his friends!

loves disney movies! wants to go to space! :D

kind-hearted, always makes everyone else smile

can be chaotic but usually just tries to have fun and make sure everyone else has fun too

*flies into a tree on half a heart* wait what why did i die D:

scar. scar please eat. you’re going to die for the tenth time this video-

the non-chaotic capitalist, has extremely creative shop designs

a danger to himself, but also the kind of person you can’t be angry at for long

BdoubleO100; [ episode one link ]

the guitar music at the beginning of his videos brings a smile to my face, it just has such an immaculate mood

*camera pans over him as said music plays* ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of hoimycraffff

the way he talks is extremely endearing

one of the best builders on the server - probably best builder of interiors in existence

able to make a palette using any number of strange blocks and then make amazing builds using it

built a whole castle as a backdrop, then built an entire giant mountain for said castle

extremely sensitive to short jokes, usually gets pranked by others because his reactions are always so funny

his daughters show up from time to time in his room while he’s recording and it’s so cute

*has no way to see the sun but still knows it’s nighttime* gotta go schleep!

scar, pointing at him “this is why we can’t have nice sunsets”

(scar dies because of mobs every time bdubs isn’t on the server to sleep)

likes to be accomplice because he isn’t the one being made fun of (/lh)

*shoots himself in front of a confused grian because he thinks the guy wants his face again when he’s actually just looking for a netherportal*

is usually the underdog so it feels good when he wins

they’re all actually such great friends so it’s genuinely funny to watch

he himself is amazing at entertainment and just a very cool guy

ImpulseSV; [ episode one link ]

what’s going on everyone, my name is impulse and welcome back to hermitcraft!

always speaks with a smile in his voice

has a good dynamic with basically everyone

great co-worker and always helps out if he can

had his base turned pink during the swap, and instead of changing it back afterwards, he dyed his skin’s hair and clothing pink to match it

very cool and original building style!

makes a lot of farms and sells what he gets in his few shops

makes money to be able to do more stuff and make more farms

blows up most his base ever so often to rebuild parts. you know, like a normal person does in minecraft survival.

the grind is never over

the guy who always gets all of the work done on the school project and proceeds to be chill about it

always has very cool side-projects going on and puts his heart into all of them

pog timelapses!!

Rendog; [ episode one link ]

*short, funny scene from the video at the beginning slowly fades out into great music

dogs howling as the half-dog half-cog logo comes up*

greetiiings cyberdogs and citizens of the interbubs! this is ren diggity dawg coming atcha, in another minecraft episodes varuuummm the hermit. craft. server. (hey!)

we’re kicking things off today my friends, from the- *location name on screen*

that intro gets me hyped every time

he’s a furry who talks in bro language it’s great i swear - very atypical but fun

he transformed an entire biome into a star wars planet for his base

his building skills and dedication are incredible

horny (just a little bit)

the only person who cared about mycelium in the whole rebellion

does a lot of roleplay-themed stuff and mysteries to be solved

“b-dubba-dubs one hundred”

extremely upbeat & sweet guy

adds -age after everything “biddage” “flyage” to make it sound Cooler

amazingly positive always and funny as hell

mcc winner!! wooooooooo :D

always tries to be where stuff is happening and interact with people

very entertaining editing style

Iskall85; [ episode one link ]

drives joke into the mud and then picks them up and does it again which is funny

starts videos with one-off bits

iskallman!!! the superhero literally no one needed and yet there he is

only has one (1) braincell when with mumbo

they both do and they’re hilarious together every time

like when they laughed at squeaky noises for ten minutes straight. guys please you’re adult men

bernie the leaf master

omega (something) of doom!!

encourages gambling (in a videogame)

he has so many jokes he keeps using i can’t possibly fit them all in here

basically a wildcard

i have no idea what he’s doing this season

i have no idea what he’s doing ever actually

tame chaos, confusing to the point when it’s funny again

really great builder as well!

mostly for younger audiences but his videos are a good watch in general

feel free to send asks about hc! i’m already loosely involved in hermitblr but yeah, my dsmp followers aren’t immune :] /lh /j

#long post #hermitcraft #hermitcraft s8 #hermitblr #ruby's rambles #:]#all my personal opinions #just wanted to add to the hype lol

840 notes · View notes

lunaastoir · 4 years ago

Text

fluff/relationships w the mondstadt crew

characters included: diluc, kaeya, and jean

gn! reader as always <3

tw: fluff??? domesticity??? crack??? ideal relationships w people who will never be real??? also mentions of alcohol!

an: so i’m back w a sequel to my “fluff/relationships w the liyue crew” since you guys seemed to really like it <3 thank you my heart is literally melting 😩 this post was getting too long so i excluded some of the characters but expect a part. 2 (more like part 3 but part 2 to the mondstadt version)!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

diluc

man. this MAN.

that’s it, that’s the headcanon.

he would literally be the most doting lover in the softest ways

SUCH a soft romantic like you thought you knew love??? nah this man will show you what love is

will constantly leave you things around the winery to convey his silent thank you’s and appreciation for you putting up with him being busy for most of the day

it’s always the most thoughtful things ever too like-

you mentioned how nice it would be to have some fresh lemonade with the hotter weather outside but it was too late in the day to actually go to the market in search of fresh lemons

the next day you walked downstairs only to be greeted with a pitcher of cool lemonade with a side of lemon bars

there was a note attached to the handle of the pitcher <3

“i recall you mentioning how lemonade would be perfect for the warmer weather so i decided to make some for you this morning. i hope it’s still cool by the time you drink it. love, d”

pls sir your hand in marriage

he secretly loves it when you usher him to bed after waking up in the dead of night to see him working by candlelight on reports

soft hands on his cheeks gently whispering about how, it’s been far too long and come to bed, darling and there will be time for this in the morning

his protests are light given the dark purple hues under his crimson eyes but he’ll still make a little fuss

don’t let this man fool you tho he’s so so touched that you care enough to check up on him and drag him to bed!!

sometimes on the days he has a bit more free time, the two of you will quickly grab your dinners and race to the highest spot in the winery to watch the setting sun

these moments are always filled with laughter, something you’ve found you’re easily able to pull out of diluc, simply because it’s you

uncontrollable sobbing

he would let you paint his nails black like the angsty man he is

frankly he would let you do anything to him if it makes you happy <3

ok but wait diluc w bLACK NAILS?? AND RINGS??? i would die on the spot ⚰️

on the topic of makeup, this man is surprisingly really good w it

i like to think he learned after practicing on kaeya when they were younger bc kaeya was really into makeup

you found out after babysitting klee one day and trying failing to draw eyeliner on the sweet girl after her “big brother ‘bedo!”

you hastily grabbed some wipes, gently wiping off the messed up design before attempting to dive back in

diluc however, had some down time so he decided to check up on his favorite chaotic duo

only to be met with a pile of dirtied makeup wipes, your frustrated expression, and klee’s growing jitteriness

swiftly moving to your side, he quietly asked if you needed help

you glanced up quizzically before handing him the eyeliner, already looking around to find more makeup wipes when this inevitably goes wrong

to your utter surprise tho the eyeliner is perfect??? two perfect winged lines??? in less than a minute??? WHAT

you just stood there like 😦 before diluc got back up and handed you the eyeliner

you were short-circuiting, klee was ecstatic, diluc was worried about you

ok last thing abt diluc

crack! warning but the both of you like lowkey pranking kaeya

for diluc it’s revenge on his annoying brother; for you it’s good - natured sibling rivalry fun

every time the two of you see kaeya, one of you always swipes something of his

small things really, it could be a pen or a handkerchief

one time, diluc swiped kaeya’s spare eyepatch and from the looks of it, kaeya’s only spare black eyepatch bc he was frantically looking for it yk he’s desperate when he even asked diluc if he saw it

the two of you spent an hour nearly laughing your asses off

all in all, life w him is so sweet

kaeya

pretty boy? pretty boy.

while i can’t guarantee stability, life would never be boring w this man that’s for sure

piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides

he LOVES it, the feel of you on his back while he’s walking around mondstadt most likely carrying you to your commission

he finds it comforting especially since he can hear the rumble of your voice against him while you recount stories, or just babble on about everything under the sun

he is SO dramatic so obviously when y’all reach the site of the commission he has to kill all the monsters even tho the both of you agreed to split it up evenly

he makes quick work of his set before stealing some of yours much to your chagrin

you scold him but can you really be mad at him when he looks drop dead gorgeous freezing the hilichurls the answer is no, no you cannot be

oh my god ok wait-

he does this thing where he tries to spook you in public

so say you’re getting groceries at the mondstadt general store

you round the corner just minding your own business, looking around, taking in the sunshine

and suddenly you just hear someone drop in behind you but before you can register anything you hear a soft “boo” and hands circle your waist

you jump SIKE let’s be honest you shrieked

meanwhile kaeya’s just laughing his ass off

you can hear his rich peals of laughter while you attempt to regain your bearings

he does this so often you SHOULD be used to it but you really aren’t bc mans is SNEAKY-

he cards his fingers in your hair whenever you’re speaking

he doesn’t know why, it’s just a cute habit and he finds the feel of his fingers in your hair soothing

oH on the topic of comfort, kaeya really likes resting two fingers on the back of your neck???

ik he seems like the type to throw his arm around your shoulder which yes he totally is but during more serious conversations his hand automatically seeks out the warmth of your neck

your neck feels amazing especially during the warmer months due to his chilly fingers contrasting with your warm skin

he likes that he’s able to access such a vulnerable part of you and you would willingly let him

HE GETS YOU MATCHING OUTFITS

no i will NOT take criticism on this i just kNOW he’s that type of guy

it would be those stupid “i’m his” and “they’re mine” sweatshirts like BYE

it’s so cringy but for some reason it’s oddly adorable and you truly despise it but you can’t seem to say no whenever he asks

you pretend to ignore the look of pity diluc throws your way whenever he sees you like this

kaeya really loves accessories so i think he would be the type to give you a promise ring or something similar to show that he truly does care for you

he would brush it off, flirting a little like usual before handing you the ring

with the way his cheeks softly darken though, you know he’s being genuine

TICKLE FIGHTS ik i mentioned this for childe but shhhh

he has tickle fingers??? his hands just loOK like they’re itching to tickle someone so you’ll most likely be the unfortunate victim

he will not show you mercy. at all. he’ll tickle you until there are tears streaming from your eyes, your face is hot, and your voice is hoarse from laughing so damn hard

it gives him such a rush of serotonin its SO CUTE

i feel like this goes without saying but he’s super into pda,,, anything and everything is on the table

hand holding? duh. ass grabs? ofc. carrying you bridal style around mondstadt? why not

ik he’s typically very playful but once the relationship reaches a certain stage, he’ll slowly start to let down the walls that surround his facade

very very slowly show you the more realistic parts of him

the real, damaged pieces of his soul

he’ll be carefully monitoring your reaction though, any sign of fear or disgust will have him recoiling within himself again and you most likely will never see his true nature ever again

SO BE CAREFUL 👹

once you’ve seen the parts of him he’s offered to you, the hushed whispers of his past, and the uncertain lines of his future, he will take off his eyepatch

pretends like he’s not super nervous but he’s SWEATING-

the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen though hands down

you can understand why he covers it up but you would like it if he felt comfortable enough to take off the eyepatch occasionally when he’s with you

also!!! sleeps with his eyepatch side facing you (in the event he wears it to bed)

if this happens you KNOW he trusts you bc it’s his blindside <3

anyways life w kaeya will never be boring but he is a very complicated man

stay with him though, i promise it’ll be worth it

jean

the key to jean’s heart is coffee and food

GET HER COFFEE AND FOOD

i am begging you she deserves it 😭

the poor woman works so hard bc the knights are so mf understaffed, this is literally the best way you can ever show her your love and appreciation when she has work

she will MELT if you have a hot shower and dinner waiting for her when she inevitably returns later than she promised

will completely refuse at first with, “you did not have to do this, it’s too much” but shush her as you shOULD bc she deserves the entire world

she’s the definition of “you do something for me, i’ll return the favor ten times grander”

you leave a flower on her desk bc it reminded you of her??? you’ll wake up to find a whole bouquet of the prettiest windwheel asters you’ve ever seen the next morning along with a thank you note

she’s so sweet BYE

she gets flustered extremely easily so you obviously use this as an opportunity to tease her

when you’re in public rest your hand on her waist and inch it higher until your hand is underneath her shirt and in contact with her warm skin

she’ll actually short-circuit its quite adorable

sometimes y’all will be cuddling and you’ll hear whispers of her insecurities

“am i a good grand master? will i ever be as valiant as vanessa?”

reassure her!!! tell her that she doesn’t need to be like vanessa, she’s already amazing as jean

if you haven’t seen her in awhile, track her down and schedule a lunch date

she never misses appointments and if it’s for you, she’ll gladly make time to see you even if she has to stay up even later than usual

OH-

GIVE HER MASSAGES

she has so much tension and the sorest muscles from hunching over papers and running around on errands

if you sneak into her office and quietly stand behind her before gently pushing down on the sore tendons of her neck, she’ll genuinely fall over on her desk

so make sure you steady her 😀

after you feel how tight her muscles are though, you drag her to barbara bc she needs a healer asap 😭

while most of your time is spent in her office - you helping out in the ways you can while jean is overseeing knight duties - you still have your fair share of life outside of the favonius headquarters

jean never likes to sit still so whenever you have free time, the both of you head off looking for monsters to clear

bouken da bouken???

adventuring w jean is seriously the funnest thing you could ever do

it’s just non-stop you accidentally getting into trouble and her having to come help you

even tho the both of you are dead tired after fighting, what? 20 hilichurl camps now??? the laughter and joy in your eyes shows how you both truly loved every minute of it

it’s both a stress reliever, good fun, and a work-out <3

you’re definitely prone to getting dragged to angel’s share w kaeya

kaeya and jean sometimes hang out after work at the tavern so inevitably you’re dragged along too

all three of you are drunk out of your minds which just makes everything a MILLION times funnier

kaeya slurring over his words makes the two of you start cackling endlessly while diluc just shakes his head making sure to not give you more wine despite your pleas

angel’s share ft. kaeya and bartender diluc are always the best times fr fr

life with her literally feels like y’all are married

so much domesticity it’s so NICE ALJDKSFH

your house is always so clean and the color scheme is impeccable bc jean has such a good eye

you have a chore schedule 😎 but it almost never works out bc jean ends up doing everything without you knowing-

you always confront her abt it and she’s like 😁 “i had some time so i did them! no worries tho” like i- time??? where bitc-

oH- she has amazing style so you can bet shopping w her is literally the best experience

she takes you to all of the hidden gems some places lisa recommended and helps you pick out things

will 100% get really blushy if you come out in something and ask her for her opinion tho she’s literally the cutest

basically jean is a sweet girl who deserves the entirety of teyvat that is all.

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3

478 notes · View notes

svchengss · 3 years ago

Text

hey barista! | l.dh

summary | befriending the barista from your local cafe doesn’t seem too bad

pairing | lee donghyuck x fem!reader ft. jaemin who’s a rlly cute side character in this :(

genre | fluff, angst, slight humour (?)

warnings | a kiss?? i don’t think there’s any but if i missed anything do lmk !!

word count | 3k+

s. tg | @hyuckefi [my apologies since i didn’t release a proper teaser for this 🙏🏻]

author’s note | this is my first fic exceeding 1k words so if u enjoyed reading this, please leave some feedbacks !! rb’s are also appreciated :D ALSO I SUCK AT SUMMARIES LMAO PLS IGNORE THAT

just another day of working at palm coffee, the same old routine. cleaning the countertop and tables before opening up the cafe, prepping the ingredients - more for top favourites! - and examining the machines to make sure they’re working properly. that’s some of hyuck’s daily routines as a barista. he didn’t mind them though, he loved his job. he couldn’t specify the reason why but all these tasks are genuinely interesting to him.

seeing you drop by the cafe is a normal occurrence for him. since you are a regular customer after all, the rest of the staff already know you well. heck, they’re even good friends with you. jaemin hangs out with you more than he does despite being jaemin’s childhood friend. except for him, he doesn’t really know why. he’s not really shy, considering the fact that he’s a social butterfly. he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything to you, the only times he did so was to take your orders when the rest of the workers were busy in the store.

upon hearing the doorbell chime which signals a new customer entering the cafe, hyuck blurted out the usual line. “hello, welcome to palm coffee! how can i help-“, looking up from the cash register only to find you in a disheveled state. “-you?” he eyes you up and down, noting how a few strands of your hair were out of place, the nude lipstick smeared on the left corner of your mouth and your outfit looks really rushed.

“sorry, what was your name again, hyuck right?” you quickly glanced at the nametag hanging nicely on his apron. “i’m in a rush right now, can i get a,” you scanned over the menu behind him, “uh, white coffee, please?”.

“that will be six dollars. you can use the restroom in the meantime to, you know, touch up your makeup and stuff,” he takes the bills from your hand, putting them in the machine in front of him before flashing you with that warm smile of his. you wished him a quick thanks before disappearing into the back of the place.

now that was embarrassing.

your eyes scanned over the hall to find your friend before hearing her shout your name from across. damn, why does she have to be so loud? stares were directed towards you as you walked up the stairs to your designated seat. all the chatter going on in the lecture hall became quiet as soon as your professor placed her things on the desk, which means class has started.

after hearing a two-hour lecture and writing some notes - where suddenly song lyrics and scribbles appear - the words you’ve been waiting to hear finally echoed through the speakers.

“class is dismissed, thank you everyone for listening,” mrs. hui’s voice later being flushed out by the buzzing voices of the students walking out the hall, determined to finish their own activities. you stuffed your ipad and papers into your light yellow jansport backpack before going out to meet vic who’s waiting for you outside.

“i’m exhausted, what did she even teach just now?” vic sighed to her heart’s content. you can’t blame her, today’s topic was quite complicated. circuits analysis or something? you can’t really wrap your head around it, your brain being stuffed with all the information. vic kept on ranting about the problems she faced from the moment she woke up, making you giggle at some comments she made.

“wait for me, i’m almost done,” he folded his apron neatly before shoving it into the drawer and grabbing his bag from the counter to join jaemin, who’s waiting at the front door with the keycard. hyuck accepted jaemin’s request to help him with some shopping for his sister’s birthday party next week. obviously, the rest of the staff were also invited.

jaemin divided the shopping list into two, allowing hyuck to find the rest of the things with ease.

“now where are the streamers…” he muttered out loud enough for himself to hear, crouching down to browse through the party decorations on the shelf. or he thought so, as you could hear him sighing clearly in dire need of the certain decoration, that you decided to help him out.

“um, hyuck? i think the party streamers are in the aisle beside this one? you look a bit troubled there,” you chuckled lightly. the heat flushed to his cheeks, feeling dumbfounded.

“really? uh, thank you for the help,” he gave you a small grin that could hardly be seen if you didn’t spot the corner of his lips. and with that, he’s long gone with his shopping basket.

you are fond of the atmosphere you’re in right now. the decorations left you in awe - white and pink silk hanging from the wall with silver letter balloons spelling out happy birthday stitched onto them. you can see jaemin’s sister, eun-ji, being carried out of her room with a small flowy white dress and wearing a golden bow on her head, her brunette hair being tied into ponytails. the na family really adore their youngest girl.

meanwhile, there are only a couple of adults your age attending the party - jaemin’s co-workers, some of his other friends which you aren’t familiar with and hyuck. he looked rather chill, with an oversized beige sweater and white jeans to suit the party’s theme. you’re not quite bad as well, your hair combed nicely and kept neat with a headband, a white sundress with strawberry patterns on it fit nicely on your figure, complemented with a heart-locket necklace placed on your collarbones. before reaching jaemin’s house, you made sure to drop by a local store to get some gifts for eun-ji. she’s a very well-mannered kid which made you adore her very much.

“y/n? very glad to see you here,” hyuck said as he approached you, offering you a plate of cake which he cut.

“i could say the same to you too, mr. lee,” you let out a soft laugh. he made sure to keep a mental note over how pretty you looked today.

“y/n, hyuck! glad you two broke the ice, did you know how hurt i was seeing you two act like strangers whenever y/n came by the cafe?” jaemin enveloping you into a small hug before fake pouting. you can only laugh at the fake debate the two guys in front of you were having. after conversing with hyuck and jaemin for quite some time, you realised that he’s a cool person to talk to, where all this time, you thought he hated you for some reason. before leaving, you made sure to thank mrs. na for hosting the party and off you went home.

following the previous encounters, hyuck felt much more comfortable around you - even hanging out with you during his shift where you would do your assignments at the cafe he’s working at. every now and then, he would also invite you to hang out with him and jaemin. however, what he didn’t realise was how he slowly pent up feelings - romantically.

ding dong!

he pressed on the doorbell button with a box of doughnuts in his left hand. the three of you were supposed to be having a movie night, but jaemin got caught up with his groupwork which leaves the two of you alone.

“hey hyuck! come in,” you gestured, arranging the cushions on your sofa to make it look more organized. the interior of your rented apartment is calming, the light grey walls suiting the navy blue sofa and furniture with darker undertones. the walls are also not left empty, with modern art portraits hanging from it.

“i brought donuts, your favourite, right?” he opened the box, placing it on the coffee table while you set up the television. you wished him a quick thank you before grabbing two canned drinks from the refrigerator, handing one to him and pressing play on the remote control. you two weren’t quiet throughout the whole movie, with snarky comments on how hot the actors were or how stupid they were being were made.

he didn’t know you were sleepy though as all of a sudden, he could feel the weight of your head on top of his shoulder. it was a rather awkward situation as he didn’t move at all so you could sleep comfortably. before long, he joined you and dozed off to wonderland. the next morning, you were more than embarrassed to find yourself cuddling up to him, with the next movie still playing on the screen.

seeing your figure outside the front door made hyuck more excited to greet you today. after making a quick order for a green tea latte, you fished out your purse from your handbag, feeling frantic if you’ve lost it outside. luckily, you were the only customer in line as the rest of them were already seated and carrying out their own businesses.

“sorry, but i think this might be yours,” you turned around to find a tall-looking guy handing out your black purse. a wave of relief washed over your soul, thanking the latter profusely.

“mind if i buy you a drink? i hate feeling like i owe someone,” you offered, which he gladly accepted.

“i’d like a double espresso, please,” he kept his hands into his pockets.

“and your name, sir?” hyuck looked mildly bothered.

“yukhei,” he ran his slightly blonde hair through the slender fingers. hyuck hated how cocky he looked, feeling more annoyed than ever over the scene that was played in front of him just now. he hated how yukhei looked at you.

why should he get jealous? he’s just a mere friend to you, that’s all. you have to stop overreacting, hyuck.

those words kept running through his mind all day.

“dude, are you okay? you looked-” jaemin opened the staff room, interrupting him from the self-talk he was having, “-distracted,” finishing up his sentence.

“nope, i’m just fine,” he said, bringing the honey smile back onto his face. jaemin nodded before disappearing back to the front to serve the customers.

stop being so jealous, hyuck. you’re just a friend. not more, not less.

“jaemin, how do you know if you like someone?” that question is kind of shocking to him, especially if it’s coming from hyuck. of course, he’s had a crush before but it was during middle school. just a silly, little crush. growing up, he’s never had one - not even in high school.

“you’ve asked the right person,” jaemin managed to do his obnoxious voice, even while driving the car. he’s right, he is the matchmaker of the friend group, just how many relationships worked out because of him? eyes still focused on the road - he’s a responsible driver of course, he began to explain the feeling to hyuck, making his points loud and clear.

“first of all, you start feeling a little too happy whenever you’re around them. and no, this is not the oh-we’re-best-friends-forever type of happy, it’s the i’ll-make-you-the-happiest-person-on-earth one. not to forget, you will also experience some kind of turbulence in your heart, expect them to be jumping around a bit. or a lot, whichever suits you the best.

you also tend to feel nervous around that person. like, stuttering your words in obvious or non-obvious ways, feeling faster heartbeats than usual, you name it. oh! if you’ve ever felt jealous whenever they are around someone else, i mean, in affectionate ways, you might have one. however, my tip is for you not to act out of your mind. you don’t want to ruin whatever relationship you have currently, do you?” even when driving, he still managed to deliver his points with full precision and accuracy.

nodding his head, hyuck took some mental notes to be thought through when he gets home.

hyuck stared at you, whose figure is snoring soundly on his lap. he assumed you must be feeling exhausted, mid-terms just ended after all. while threading his fingers through your hair, he remembered what jaemin said to him weeks earlier.

1. being happy around them

like jaemin said, it is normal to be happy around your friends. but being with you, it kind of gave more joy for him. not to mention that he started to catch himself smiling over your texts and being reminded of you over small things - your favorite donut topping, the name of that one stray puppy you gave.

2. feeling nervous around them

his heart would beat a lot faster whenever you get closer towards him, whether accidentally or to mess with him.

3. getting jealous over someone else

he shouldn’t be jealous of how yukhei looked at you. but he seriously can’t help it. and the way he’s always there during your hangouts. he doesn’t care if he seems petty, yukhei just isn’t in his favour.

his deep thoughts came to a halt when you called out his name, eyes still half-closed, attempting to open them a bit more.

“did i interrupt you or something? gosh, i’m so sorry,” you quickly stood up but he pulls your body back onto his lap, asking for you to stay.

“what are we?” that question caught you off-guard. the same one that has been at debate in the back of your mind these days.

i don’t know hyuck, it’s complicated.

“what do you think we are, hyuck?” you shot the question back at him, your gaze piercing through his soul.

“i don’t know. it’s just-”

“are you sure?” a deep sigh left your lips. have you been interpreting his body languages wrong? did he only see you as a normal friend, nothing more?

“sorry, i’m not feeling well. see you later hyuck, bye,” you tried your best to shoot the sweet smile of yours but only a faint one seemed to appear. once you stepped out of the room, he buried his face into his hands.

god, what have i done?

“don’t feel too down, y/n. maybe there’s something more that he couldn’t bring himself to say?” vic suggested, handing you some tissue.

“i don’t know, i seriously have no idea. why can’t he just say it?” you continued to sob into her arms, she pitied you, especially in your condition right now. but she can’t do anything to help you, other than consoling and listening.

jaemin knew something was wrong, from your rare visits to the cafe to hyuck not being himself lately. something was definitely wrong and it’s between the both of you. sure, hyuck might be saying that he’s fine again and again, but his expressions can’t lie. the sweet smile of his is long gone and his jokes are no longer heard. whatever it is, jaemin is determined to solve it. he just wants his best friends back.

looks of dismay can be read all over hyuck’s face when the person facing him is no other than the guy himself, yukhei. still, he tried to control his composure, not making his inner feelings any more obvious.

“so what brings you here?” he took a sip of the mineral water, still making his throat rough from the tension hanging in the air.

“look, i’m not here for any fights. i know you like y/n, everybody can see it. and honestly, you were oblivious to your own feelings,” he rubbed his hands together. the latter’s puzzled face made him continue his words.

“i’m not trying to make her like me, or whatever you’ve been assuming. sorry if i gave the wrong message but you are the one who should make a move. i can see from the way she looks at you, the feelings are mutual,” he straightened up the denim jacket outside the white shirt wrapping his figure.

letting out a heavy sigh, hyuck’s face begins to soften up. “no, i should be the one who’s sorry. i’ve been such a prick to everyone around me lately, especially you,” he took of the cap from his head, messing up his hair.

“no problem, bro. it’s understandable, i guess. now good luck with her, please treat her well,” the two guys exchanged a fist bump for the problem solved. jaemin leaned his back against the wall, smiling and feeling satisfied.

you called out jaemin’s name but to no avail. he invited you to his apartment but seeing that the lights are out, it’s clear enough that he hasn’t finished whatever he was doing yet. just as you were about to leave, you saw hyuck at the other side of it, both your faces mirroring the same look of confusion.

“so, uh, how have you been doing these days? it’s been a while since we talked,” he chose to break the silence. now, you two were sitting facing each other by the balcony. inhaling the breeze, you paused for a moment before responding to his question.

“i’ve been feeling, not as usual. definitely not happy but not that sad,” you pushed some of the loose hair strands hanging on your forehead behind your ears before asking about his.

“you know what, i’m just going to be direct with you. i, lee donghyuck have been holding feelings for you since i don’t know when. yeah sure, i wasn’t really sure at first about what i was going through. i guess i was just scared of how you would react,” he scratched his ears which are not feeling itchy at all, but rather an attempt to distract himself from the overwhelming emotions deep inside him.

not wanting to waste time any longer, you placed your right hand onto his cheek, standing on the heels of your feet to bring your two lips together. the kiss was short before he pulls you back in for another, this time a more passionate one. he could feel you smile against his lips before enveloping your body into his arms.

“i’ve missed you, you know?” he whispered, his voice tender, directing right into your ears before you replied with how you missed him more. the both of you continued to whisper sweet nothings while embracing each other’s presence.

jaemin looked at the both of you from a distance, his heart swelling with pride.

— another pair of lovers matched, cupid jaemin signing out.

165 notes · View notes