#Like hes not There but hes THERE. Wrench literally cannot go 5 minutes without thinking about him.

[nanatsumu]

📞 RENT A BOYFRIEND

08. a guide on how to run away from your problems

everything was going so well.

you were able to snatch a scholarship from one of the best universities in tokyo— which also served as an opportunity to escape from hyogo and the unpleasant memories given to you from one whom shall not be named— and then you struck gold by landing your dream job alongside your best friend, fresh out of university with an english degree. oh, and not to mention, a small, trustworthy group of friends who have stuck with you through tough times and kept you stable time and time again.

so as you stand there, hand on your doorknob with a grip so tight that your knuckles were beginning to turn white, you think that this is god’s way of punishing you for being blessed with so many good things within a short period of time.

the first thing you come to notice is that suna’s physical appearance has changed drastically since the last time you saw him back in high school: his short hair was no longer parted in the middle, but instead it was a few inches longer and swept back. he looked a lot leaner and finally fixed that god awful posture of his that you always reprimanded him for back when you two were dating. but out of everything that changed about him, the one thing that stood out to you the most was that his narrow eyes no longer held onto that dull gleam anymore but was instead replaced by an unfamiliar warmth you couldn’t exactly pinpoint.

suna clears his throat which snaps you back into reality and makes you realize: this isn’t supposed to be a heart wrenching reunion between you two. this was a mistake.

“listen y/n, i—” he starts to speak, but you’re quick to cut him off.

“what the fuck?!” you yell which startles the man in front of you, causing him to flinch at your harsh tone. “i... seriously— what the fuck!”

you rub your eyes until you start seeing spots and then open them back up, only to see suna still standing there, on your doorstep, with a puzzled expression on his face and a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

so doing what you do best, you slam the door in his face and try to steady your racing heart.

after a brief moment, you put your shaking hands against the wooden door in order to give yourself some stability and peer out of the peephole. and to your dismay, there is a sight much worse than the one you saw just a second ago that causes your stomach to churn and suddenly you feel like you’re about to puke up whatever you had for breakfast this morning.

“tetsuro you always fucking pick the worst time to show up.” you curse him out silently.

“y/n? y/n?” you hear knocking on the door and you’ve never felt more annoyed to hear that stupid knocking sequence of his. “i know you’re in there, i literally heard you say ‘what the fuck?!’ at the bottom of the stairs.”

you reluctantly open the door, but just enough so that you can look out the tiny slither you created from the inside of your house.

“i wanna know what the fuck that guy is doing here.” you say and kuroo is shocked to hear the hostility in your voice.

“u-uh... he’s your date?” kuroo stammers, immediately jumping to the conclusion that your hostility was directed towards him.

“y/n, please, just let me talk to you.” you hear suna say, his voice laced with desperation.

“suna you had your chance to talk to me years ago,” you open the door this time and while your head is still spinning at the fact that suna was actually here, in tokyo, you were able to collect your thoughts and stand your ground. “and i told you this already, i don’t ever want to see you ever again.”

“just 5 minutes, y/n, that’s all i’m asking for.”

“no suna!” you snap, not realizing that tears were starting to form in your eyes. “you can’t just waltz back into my life and ask for 5 minutes of my time just to talk to me when you had all the time to do so 5 years ago!”

at this point, all of the other residents in your apartment complex were curious to see what all the ruckus was about and so as they all start to file out of their homes, you feel embarrassed that you’ve created such a commotion.

“y/n?” you hear the voice of the grandma who lives in the apartment across from yours. “is everything alright dear?”

“hi ma’am!” kuroo’s oddly cheery voices throws you off. “everything is fine, these two were just practicing their lines for a scene in a play they’re acting in but they got really into it.”

you wipe your tears and throw the lady an apologetic smile, not forgetting to apologize on your behalf as well.

“let’s go inside, shall we?” kuroo says as he turns back to you and suna.

you open your mouth to protest, but your efforts are in vain as kuroo begins to push you two back inside your apartment. you knew there was no point in trying to thrash around in an attempt to get him to release you, but that didn’t mean you didn’t try.

“t-tetsu! let me go!” you scream.

he throws you on the couch and you can’t help but feel so vulnerable under his heavy gaze.

“y/n, i need you to explain to me what your relationship with suna is,” his eyes darted back and forth between you and suna. “and if you can’t, then suna can explain to me.”

“i’m her ex.” suna breaks the ice and you watch as kuroo’s mouth falls agape.

“y/n, you had an ex and you never even told me?” kuroo looks genuinely offended, and while usually you would tease him for being offended over something so trivial like he usually does, this was not a trivial matter in any way shape or form.

“i need you to leave, like, now,” you stand up and grab suna’s wrist before dragging him back over to your front door. “i can’t handle seeing you, and i don’t think i ever will be able to handle seeing you without wanting to throw up.”

when you open the door, you let go of suna’s wrist and then roughly push him out of your home without a second thought.

you wished you hadn’t looked up at his face one last time out of curiosity because if you didn’t, then you wouldn’t have to see the anguished look on his face— an expression that felt so foreign coming from him.

“suna, don’t look at me like that,” your voice gets quiet and you feel like a heartbroken high school girl all over again. “just... leave, please.”

and when you shut the door in his face, you’re you’re suddenly brought back to the day where he left you heartbroken— and the days where you were left all by yourself to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.

༄ directory

༄ next: a penny for your thoughts

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[real-jaune-isms]

RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 4 Review/Remix

A pretty good episode this time, and only 30% pain and despair so things are looking up! But when it goes mean it goes real strong with the mean. Lots to think about here, and boy oh boy do I wonder what we’ll see next week!

For a nice touch of levity, we open on Robyn telling a funny story about a time Joanna lost a fight to try and pass the time. Maybe she’s trying to cheer Qrow up too, but as someone who gets very bored at work pretty often I get the appeal of talking just to keep sane. She sees Qrow is too lost in his brooding about Clover’s pin to listen to the story, and Jacques is too busy fussing over a fly buzzing around his head (the Pence jokes write themselves). Tough crowd indeed, though her joke about Ironwood needing to pay for cell block entertainment does get a smile and a chuckle from the sad old bird. She takes this chance to apologize, possibly again and we’re just seeing this conversation now, for what happened with Clover. Many would argue it is really her fault for getting trigger happy back in the airship when Qrow was the one under arrest, but that’s an argument not worth having because the blame soup was being stirred by way too many cooks to make a clear verdict. Qrow, however, blames himself for deciding to team up with Tyrian, which was certainly a bad move. It was a heat of the moment thing, and he makes it clear he really would have preferred working with Clover to re-detain Tyrian again, but Clover just wouldn’t let up on his arrest orders. The real pain though, he admits, is that he had really started to let his guard down around this guy and thought her could actually make a partnership work again without his Semblance tossing 1,000 monkey wrenches into the mix. Feels like a fairy tale dream, vanishing like a rose petal on the wind, like every other friend. I of course added the part about rose petals, because you know he meant Summer and the unity of STRQ she probably represents in his mind. Robyn knows a thing or two about having a Semblance that impairs your relationships. Not many people like being around someone they can’t keep anything private from, and she can call out and mistruthing with a touch of the hand. Qrow has to admit he hadn’t considered someone else having that kind of personal trouble like he does, but their conversation is ended by Harriet coming in to toss Watts back in his cell. She’s pissy at Qrow and says he shouldn’t have Clover’s pin, but he retorts he has no reason not to have it since he’s not Clover’s killer. She still has a hard time believing that since Harbinger was the murder weapon, but Robyn finally raises a very good point. Miss Hill is a literal walking polygraph and all they would need to do to prove Qrow’s innocence is let her out of her cell and take her hand. But they won’t do that because they don’t want to prove what’s really true here, they want to cling to a convenient story so they don’t have to admit what really happened. Cuz if they put those glasses back on and face the facts, that means reevaluating what side their on if Clover died because he refused to help detain a serial killer before arresting a former colleague and that’s the real problem. Hare had already threatened that if she was gonna open the cell she wouldn’t use her hands for a friendly shake, and the dig at her allegiances and her ignorance towards Ironwood’s sins almost riles her up to the point of taking Robyn’s bait. But Marrow calls her back down to sensibility and she leaves in a huff. Robyn lays back and sighs at how there was almost something exciting happening.

Cutting to an actually exciting scene, Yang Jaune and Ren are outside the city chasing the Hound through a mountainous canyon on their bikes. It can fly while they have to navigate the rocks, and their bikes aren’t handling the cold terribly well. Yang laments that none of them can fly, but that inspires Jaune to pull out his shield and get closer to Ren. He’s gonna get his teammate up there, and Ren immediately understands how. Leaping off his bike and onto Jaune’s shield, he’s launched through the air by the burst of Gravity Dust in the crest and uses his grapple line blade to wrap around the Hound’s leg... and get dragged through the air like Curious George at the end of a bunch of balloons. Still, he’s weighing it down some and can climb up the line to get in close... when he’s not getting swung around against the cliffside. To further slow it down, he shoots his other line around a big rock that gets dragged behind them for about 5 seconds before the Hound flies higher up and the line comes loose. Ren gets knocked around even more while Yang finds an inclined path that gives her enough height to start shooting at the Grimm. It handles this fairly well, by dropping Oscar from its mouth into its hands and flying ahead of her with a loud roar. Apparently one of its Grimm for all Seasons abilities is to call for backup, because dozens of Centinels suddenly burrow up out of the rocks and ground around them and several Teryx swoop in above. Navigating becomes that much more difficult for the blondes, especially when one Centinel spits acid and hits the thruster of Jaune’s bike. He thinks fast and leaps off his bike to launch off another Grimm in front of him and flip onto a rocky overpass where he almost loses his balance and falls back down. Luckily Yang instead zooms by and pulls him onto her bike where they continue their pursuit. She does a great job of bobbing and weaving around the insects, but a Teryx lands in their path. Jaune tosses his shield grenade in front of a large rock and they drive onto it to tilt it into a ramp, launching over the avian foe into a spin between two more big bugs. They bump on a rock, but the Grimm cannot touch them with Yang’s driving. Unfortunately, they have a far more dangerous problem: They’re heading towards the edge of a massive cliff. Yang tries to make a quick turn but instead flips the bike over and launches both of them off to go tumbling off the precipice. Jaune tries to plant his sword in the ground as an anchor, but he doesn’t keep hold of it with their momentum and they both fall with a very believable scream. Big props to Miles and Barbara for this and the dramatic performances soon to come. Ren comes swooping in for a massive save and grapples Jaune’s sword with one weapon and the poor guy’s leg with the other. Jaune grabbed Yang by the hand so she’s fine too, but an incoming Teryx might soon negate it all. Luckily, Ren instead negates all their emotions with his Semblance and the Teryx passes them by. Less lucky, Ren being here means he’s not hanging from the Hound. He let it get away with Oscar to save his friends, and you know he’s kicking himself for it.

Shifting scenes from that tense gloom, we see Weiss decided the safest place to take Nora for the time being is her own damn mansion. Whitley answers the door and is about to try and berate Weiss for this but she is having none of it. She holds him at swordpoint and insists that they are coming inside. Whitley is very against the idea of harboring fugitives after the hit the Schnee family’s reputation has taken in the wake of its patriarch’s arrest for war crimes, and Blake is quite frustrated that this is what he chooses to complain about. The staff is all gone, Willow has retreated to her room and assumable to the bottle, you gotta admit Whitley probably feels more alone now than ever and is... coping in less than ideal ways. Weiss still seemingly carries a chip on her shoulder of wanting to prove that she is doing something actually important and she made the right move by leaving home to be a Huntress, so she insists that Whitley has no right to nag them because they are saving the Kingdom here. At least, that’s what my 2 semesters of psychology classes would tell me. Ruby plays intermediary between the Schneeblings and lays down their very minimal terms. Let them stay here a little while so Nora can rest and recover, and then they will leave him to his sulking and riches. Whitley begrudgingly accepts and asks what he has to do, and Weiss seems to relish this chance to tell him to go to his room. Finally flexing her big sister authority without Papa around to veto her in favor of his adoring son. But like Willow said last Volume, Whitley has been stuck in this house just like Weiss and Winter, and they could certainly try to treat him with a bit more fairness and sympathy. I’m sure it hurt him a little inside to have yet another authority figure bossing him around without a care for his desires. Still, he’s not giving much reason to make us sympathize so I say wait a little bit to see if he’s got any softer moments to come. Weiss directs May on where to carry Nora, and Blake checks on Ruby while they have this quieter moment. Possibly because she wants the chance to talk to her too, Blake suggests Ruby should try calling Yang to make sure things are okay, both between the sisters and in general. But that’s just it. She did it 35 minutes ago. Okay not really, but I wanted to toss a Watchmen joke in. Still, as much as Ruby worries how that half of the team is doing, she’s already trying to call them and it’s not going through.

We fade back to our three battered teens as Yang collects what scattered pieces she can from her bike, the only one they still have. But like I said, it crashed into a rock after they tumbled off and it’s in no condition to run anymore. So Jaune is trying to call for help and transport back to Mantle, but either Ironwood shut down all communication in the lower districts or they’re just so far out in the tundra that a signal just won’t reach. The latter would make sense, and explain why Ruby couldn’t reach Yang. Giving up on the call, the three instead trudge through the snow in the light of the setting sun back more or less the way they came. Jaune is dragging the bike along while Ren leads the way to an outpost he saw while getting dragged by the Hound. Yang notes how low their auras have been drained due to protecting them from the cold this long, and like a kid on a car trip asks how much longer it will be. Ren has no immediate answer so she asks again and he gives a snippy “I don’t know”. She can tell there’s something more bugging him and tries to coax it out of him after sensing the hostility in his explanation that he only got a glimpse of their intended destination before he had to abandon Oscar in favor of saving them. He refuses to discuss his deeper feelings because he thinks it’ll just waste time. This riles Yang up and she demands to know what his deal is, to which he insists she not worry about it. The argument keeps escalating from there. Things aren’t going smoothly enough for Ren? No, they’re not going smoothly at all, but boohoo Ren, that’s part of the job as a Huntsman. He doesn’t think it’s a job they should have at all, they weren’t ready for it or to make the incredibly damming decisions they’ve had to since taking that position. Sure, they had a few lucky breaks and near miss successes, but then they entered this losing streak that they can’t seem to recover from because the losses are too drastic and every choice they’ve made has been the wrong one. Yang refuses to accept such pessimism and insists that even if they haven’t done everything perfectly they still had to do something because inaction would have made things worse. But how could they be worse than they are now, Ren demands to know as they freeze to death out here. Salem has the Lamp and Oscar, and they have nothing but the cold winds. They may not have an army but they have the Maiden, Yang tries to counter, but because they haven’t let her to open the vault for Ironwood all of Atlas is just a buffet waiting to be chowed down on and it will all be their fault when that happens. Yang rightfully asks him if he seriously thinks letting Ironwood try and float Atlas away to safety will work out for him or for the people of Mantle he’s abandoning, but he argues that they shouldn’t even be the ones asked to make that call. He’s trying to spit the hard truths no one else wanted to face, but this is way too harsh and mean, especially for Ren. What are these hard truths, you ask? That Ruby is still too young to be a leader, that he himself is an orphan from a town that doesn’t exist anymore (which I guess shows how unimportant he is for someone thrust into this decision making role), and that Jaune, who by the way has been trying in vain to get the two to cut the shit and quiet down this whole time, cheated his way into Beacon. A damn low blow there, bro. Bringing back the deep wound from Volume 1. And you can tell he regrets it immediately, but to say that would mean backing down from his point. Jaune doesn’t even address the personal callout and just says alright, you don’t think we should have the job, good for you. I’m still gonna keep walking and get out of the cold because like it or not we were given a goddamn job to do. Maybe not in those words, but the meaning was there. Ren and Yang silently let him take the lead, probably feeling the hot wash of shame distracting them from the arctic chill. Yang still takes one last dig at Ren though by asking if it’s his goal to push everyone away, implying he’s being an asshole and not even Nora is sticking by him. Well... in so many words anyway.

We get another change of scenery with a dramatic violin stroke like something out of a murder mystery movie. Oscar is regaining consciousness, and he hears Ozpin try to reassure him to stay calm and that it’s gonna be okay. When he looks up, however, he sees Salem leaning in a shadowy doorframe staring at a smoky apparition in her hand and welcoming back her long lost Ozma. Judging by the childlike laughter and general shape of her smoke display, I think she was manifesting a memory of her and Oz’s dead daughters to try and reminisce about the days when they were still lovers. Oscar realizes he’s being held in the air from the Hound’s mouth and tries to struggle free as Salem notes how young and weak this new vessel is. She’s not even acknowledging Oscar, just talking through him to Ozma. It’s been what may have truly been centuries or even a millennium since they’ve last met, and dear Oz has nothing to say to his wife? Oscar does his best Ozpin impression to try and fake it till he makes it, but Salem knows her man better than anyone and sees through it to grab him by the face and call his bluff. But he really is still a separate person from Oz, so maybe he can be more cooperative to her requests than that old wizard. She still wants to know where the Relic of Choice is, since Oz clearly must have used an extra layer of deception to hide it opposed to the others, and she wants Oscar to reveal the trick. But that’s not a memory he has access to, and he tells her plainly that he doesn’t know. She believes him, knows Oz would hold that one close to the chest longest of all, so she asks an easier question. How does she go about asking the Lamp questions? She gets the standard coverup answer, the Lamp is out of questions so it’s futile to even try, but she refuses to believe that one. Instead she blasts the poor kid with an evil magic rainbow laser and lets him scream himself hoarse for a bit. His chest has scorch marks, or at least his clothes do, and he fearfully tries to pull away from her “loving” touch. Lying so easily about these things, he truly was reincarnated into a like-minded soul... but sooner or later one of the two in this battered body will break and Salem will learn what she wishes to know. He tries to insist he won’t tell her anything, but that’s why she has backup. Hazel comes in to literally gut punch this 14 year old until he coughs up his guts or the truth, whichever comes first. And he justifies it all by saying this is revenge for his defeat at Haven and from the still unforgiven death of his sister.

Salem doesn’t stay to watch the savage beating, instead walking the halls of Monstra with her lovely new pet. Cinder has been waiting in this hallway for a chance to speak with her Mistress, but is distracted by her immediate discomfort in the face of the Hound. Salem claims it is an experiment that she is quite happy with the results of thus far, and wants Cinder to get on with whatever point she had so she can get out of the way. Cinder wants to search for Penny, she thinks she can make up for the past blunder and claim the Winter powers for herself. But Salem just laughs at this. “She thinks, she wants!” It’s like hearing a cockroach tell you about its hopes and dreams. Mommy Salami does not give a fuck what Cinder wants to do, she has done nothing to earn Salem caring about that. Cinder, to her credit, does not take this dismissal lying down and tries to argue that they are doing nothing to further their plans when Cinder could be achieving a great victory for her Mistress by securing their way into the Atlas vault. Salem does not slow her pace, and says when it is time to act she will tell Miss Fall what she needs her to do. Cinder tries to argue, and is met by the snarling maw of the Hound turning on its heels to send her shrinking back. Salem has been pretty damn patient with this bratty girl, but she will not repeat herself again. You are not going the the ball, Cinderella, you are staying here and doing what your godmother tells you to because if you don’t you will learn just how easily you can be replaced and forgotten. Cinder gives up her case and assumes the position of submission, which is to say taking a knee and repeating her self-depreciating mantra that without Salem she is nothing. This satisfies Salem and she walks away with her dog in tow, leaving Neo to glare at Cinder as if wondering who is really the domesticated little pet in this place. 

Cut to Cinder immediately rebelling against her given orders and heading for the airship insisting she just wants to go check on something and then they’ll come right back before anyone knows they left. Neo just floats along behind her because like hell she’s staying in the Satan whale when it’s this bitch’s fault she’s here at all. We get the last unseen shot from the trailer as Cinder looks out over Atlas and rationalizes that Salem doesn’t know Team RWBY like she does, she wouldn’t understand how determined they would be to try and save the world, and so it falls to her to check out Amity Colosseum again and see if they’re up to something. Neo seems annoyed and disinterested at Cinder’s petty little scheme, but they’re both caught off guard by Emerald arriving behind them and offering to tag along to help. She’s been getting better with her Semblance and asserts that she would be very useful. Poor misguided lass, searching so desperately for acknowledgement and praise you’re never gonna get... Cinder seems pissed that she was eavesdropping, but she’s not gonna turn down the assist. Time for an evil girls’ night out~

Back on the ground, night has fallen as JRY have found the outpost at last. Jaune hits a heater to get it running and prevent their freezing to death as Ren broods out the window and Yang is outside working on her bike. The leader takes this time to address the tension with his teammate. Yes, he did make a bad decision and cheat his way into the Academy. But when he found himself in that bad situation he realized he needed help and he asked for it. He turned his situation around and got better, became the strong person he is now. Holding onto this ideal that being strong means doing everything on your own? That was literally the issue Jaune faced in his mini character arc back in Volume 1, and he came out of it humbled and ready to accept support from his team. From Pyrrha. But she’s not here anymore, and Jaune is. Nora is, team RWBY is here for Ren. So Ren needs to understand that he can let them in, because the more he hides from how he feels the worse it’s gonna feel and hurt him inside. Ren goes outside to sulk under a streetlight, but Yang has come inside now to say that she’s found the part she needs to fix the bike so with a little more tinkering they can get it working and ride back into the city once they’ve got some R&R. Yang does take the time to say she’s sorry Ren said what he did because of her argument with him, but Jaune dismisses it for the time being as all three of them being under a hellish amount of stress. He’s been where Ren was before, he knows how much it hurts. Yang turns back to the tool bench to work on the thruster, but she’s got some inner turmoil of her own to vent about. She wants to know if Jaune thinks “She” thinks less of Yang for making the choice she did and staying to help Mantle instead of going to help fix Amity. Playing the pronoun game like this can be tricky, and Jaune fairly assumes she means Ruby since the two of them did have the verbal disagreement before splitting off, and Yang did question her leader’s decision making and leadership. He assures Yang that her sister will always love and believe in her even if they have squabbles like this. But it would seem Vomit Boy lost the pronoun game, and Yang was not actually asking about Ruby. Judging by the purple cannister she’s wrenching into the battered thruster, she was asking if Blake would think less of her because of these recent actions. 

A lot of people seem rather torn about this choice in priorities for Yang, but allow me to explain why I think it’s not that bad of a writing decision. If there is one thing that has been consistent in this Volume it has been the confidence of other characters that Yang and Ruby will endure this clash of ideals and remain loving sisters. Usually these sentiments have been given by characters who are siblings themselves and know the strength of that bond, like Weiss and now Jaune. We’ve never actually heard either sister personally express any anguish or regrets over that argument, but we can assume they’re both still a little sour about it. But they have been there for each other to a depth that few siblings have, as evident by Yang’s story in Volume 2 about how she had to step up in raising Ruby in a lot of ways after Tai went into grieving for Summer. They’ve been each other’s best friend and closest confidant for so long, I truly believe their bond is clad in iron and they know it too. Meanwhile, a lot of Yang’s recovery arc in Volumes 4 and 5 was dealing with being abandoned by Blake in a time of need and it continued into 6 as learning to accept her back into her life and find a way to make their partnership work again. Shipping or not, they do have a strong bond that has been renewed by dealing with their combined trauma and killing Adam. And when that happened they both promised they would stick together and back each other up, but now Yang has been the one to decide she wants to split paths and do something else. She has good reason to worry this might have upset Blake, and we the audience know Blake is worried about how she’s doing. So, when faced with a color that reminds her of her partner, it makes some sense that Yang would try and get an outside perspective of if she’s fractured their bond. And if you ship them, that more magnifies the interpersonal concerns than really changes the problems.

Regardless, Jaune realizes this is a problem he’s not quite equipped to deal with and decides he’s going to get some rest in one of the beds in the outpost. He gets the strong feeling he’s gonna need it cuz it feels like things will only get worse before they get any better. As we pan out past Ren, whom Yang promises she won’t let brood himself to death out in the snow, we see cracks start to form out on the ice. That can only bode poorly for these poor kids. Many folks think this is a frozen over lake with some scary aquatic Grimm waiting in the depths like a megalodon Grimm shark or the sulfur fish Grimm that apparently were the winners of a fan design contest this past year. Personally, I’m taking a note from the opening and saying it might be a cloister of Apathy since their gross grabby hands wrapped around Team RWBY when they fell through the ice at the end of the intro. But we will have to wait and see. Thanks for reading, hope to see you and your notes soon!~

Edit: this came out a week late and we did indeed see what it really was. Boy were we not ready for the truth...

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e12 Live Blog

“The Wiping of the Disciple’s Butt”

The season finale. I’m nauseous. Lets begin. 

As always, I’m watching from the perspective of someone who has read the manga and webcomic. 

Right where we left off. Again I love the music. I’m just like, really calm right now actually. hhhhhhhhhhhokay. OOF oh god all the crunching sound effects oh no, this is already so weird watching Garou get his ass handed to him since he’s pretty much curb stomped every other hero in battle thus far, or at the VERY LEAST avoided taking so many hits. This. is so uncomfortable to watch. WOAH ????? THESE SHOTS WERE ONLY THERE FOR A SPLIT SECOND BUT??? HOLY SHIT???

GAROU’S HAIR OH MY GOD 

Oh god oh god Bang is relentless this hurts please stop guys GUYS PLZ  HAS NO ONE REALISED THAT NOT ONE HERO HAS DIED CMON PLZ IT HURTS calm down stop trying to kill him plsplspls OH

THIS 

IS WHY

WE STAN GAROU

HE SAYS FUCK DEATH HOW ABOUT I JUST GET STRONGER INSTEAD QUE EPIC THEME MUSIC

oh god damnit him legit running on all fours right there just looks goofy tho F “preposterous style” Bang you aint lying asdfghjkl really though OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DRAWN SO BEAUTIFULLY THIS IS SO BLESSED 

WAIT 

NO OPENING THEME???????????????????? WHAT?????????????????????? WHY????????????????????????? ONE, I WANTED TO SEE THE CHIBI OF THE WEEK AND 2 

I WASNT PREPARED FOR MY FAVORITE DOPEY BIRD MAN THE FUCK PHOENIXMAN PLS NO ILY I know people hate him a lot but I just really dig how he feels like a fleshed out character compared to most other monsters, like he’s legit lookit him being all smart and stuff plz I just,,,,,,,,,,,, want to hug dumb fluffy birb ;-;

Woah again I’m being blown away by the animation??? Garou getting smacked around is really fluid and this just looks really cool in general?????

FUCK I CANT DO FLASHBACKS MAN JUST HEARING THE KID VOICE MAKED MY STOMACH LURCH OH NO 

OH NO I SCREAM OH NO I CANT OH NO GIMME 5 MINUTES PLEASE I CANNOT BBY NO I FORGOT ADULT GAROU IS IN THE FLASHBACK WATCHING THIS TIME PLS NO 

LIKE???????? I got kinda a comedic vibe watching him comment on it in the manga but the slow music and shit is just FUKKIN ME UP RIGHT NOW I HATE IT THANKS IT HURTS

oh god his face he has the seething thousand mile stare of quiet rage and its burning a hole STRAIGHT THROUGH MY ENTIRE BEING “But me I was the loner kid. Always gloomy and without friends” STOP. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT. IM CRYING AT U RIGHT NOW STOP

NO DONT HOLD HIM LET HIM GO S T O P OR SO HELP ME i can’t watch this what the fuck “I was always the loser” SHIT this legitimately hurts me “I dont want to be the monster anymore” GArou hey did you hear that part?? hEY GAROU DID YOU HEAR YOURSELF THERE???��

WHAT DID I SAY WHAT THE F DID I JUST SAY STOP HOLDING HIM STOP STOPPIT  THE HELL MAN What if……….. I just go BACK IN TIME AND ADOPT BB GAROU CAN I DO THAT IS THIS POSSIBLE IS THIS ALLOWED ? ?? ?

oh my god it keeps getting worse. I mean. I already knew garou was being disproportionately reprimanded for what he supposedly did, but watching this scene just fucking kicked me in the teeth. As if my stomach wasn’t already in knots. The fuck . why does this hurt so much more watching than reading the frustration in seeping into me ffffff.

This looks really cool but, i can barely focus on that because im pretty much being exsanguinated on the floor over here by this whole sequence look at him crying. do it for me cause I sure as hell can’t 

“I want to strike a blow for the little guy”

Fukkin GETTEM GO GETTEM 

HOLY SHIT HIS VA IS GOING T F OFF 

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH LOOKIT HIM ILY SO MUCH SAVE THE DAY BIRB SAVE 

ASDFGHJKL THIS IS SO INTENSE EVERYONE IS SO INTENSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BUT HOLY SHIT FUCK IM SCREAMING GAROU IS SCREAMING BANG AND BOMB SCREAMING GENOS AND EVEN PHOENIXMAN EVEN THE MUSIC IS SCREAM WE ALL JUST SC R E M

OH MY GOD AND THE LITTLE HEAD NOT GENOS AND BANG GIVE EACHOTHER SAVING THE HEROES OH MY GOD OH FUCK AND THE WAY THEY ANIMATE BANG JUMPING AROUND IS DOPE AS HELL AND ALSO HOLY SHIT ELDER CENTIPEDE I MISSED THE UNSETTLING SMOOTH CG LIKE ANIMATION FOR THE CENTIPEDES EVERY CELL IN MY BODY IS JUST SCREAMING RN I AM OVERLOAD HELP 

Garou flailing in the air in Phoenixman’s grip is … really adorable oh my god. “It’s your fault for not finishing them” ooooooo that shut him up didn’t it oof. Also nice cameo by Tatsumaki there 

ASDFGHJKL THE MUSIC AGAIN I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM LOOK AT THEM OH MY GOD 

THIS IS SO BAD ASS

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO BADASS

Genos’s eye static, The brother’s fists swirling, THE FUKKIN CARAPACE SHATTERING 

THIS FIGHT IS SO WILD MY COMPUTER CANT EVEN TAKE IT. ITS GLITCHING AND FREEZING UP HOLY SHIT

oh god ok the face coming out of the face was pure nightmare fuel alright then

WAIT

I FORGOT GENOS IS A SELF SACRIFICING DUMBASS. NO IM NOT READY GENOS YOU DOOF LISTEN TO KUSENO LISTEN TO HIM 

oh no 

oh no

im crying oh no

this animation is beautiful first of all and the music like im just here this is where I’m at and I’m crying oh no 

He’s an angel. A literal angel. Look at that and tell me he doesn’t look like a fucking angel in the sky with the rays of light casting shadows around him. 

Genos you are too good and pure for this world but that DOESNT MEAN TRY TO GET YOURSELF KILLED 

Shit they really made it look like he was gonna self destruct there for a second which MADE HIS LAST STAND EVEN MORE INTENSE OH MY GOD SWEETHEART Y’all ever get into a show because you keep seeing one character that catches your interest, and you keep seeing them pop up on your dash or wherever until you finally decide ‘well fuckit, this is the asshole that’s gonna get me to finally watch the show’, cause you’re already invested in them anyway? Genos did that for me with OPM. If this fool didn’t exist Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get to watching OPM, if ever. And shit like this is why I STILL love him. I usually move on to new faves 90% of the time but nope. Genos earned his spot and is keeping it. Look at this insane shit. My heart. Uhg

Enough gushing asdfghjkl ok but Genos, you just went INTO THE DAMNED THING’s STOMACH,,,,, and you’re SURPRISED that there’s STOMACH ACID?? But real talk. What the EVERLONG FUCK is that thing’s insides made out of? How did it NOT DIE. the FuCK

asdfghjkl Phoenixman’s chuckle???? I love 

Oh Bang no, this is wrenching my heart like I know that he doesn’t actually use his power but its built up so intensely like,,, would he be ok if he did??? and actually more concerningly since it even WAS brought up that he has some hidden true strength, will we EVER get to see that??? Oh Shit well when they word it as “All the power left to me in this life” then yeah, that seems pretty life or death ish???? THE FUCK 

Oh thank god comedic relief is here I feel like i’m about to have a heart attack my chest is so tight hhhhhh ok breathe WAIT THIS ISNT COMEDIC THIS IS BADASS AS HELL JEEZUS witht he flashbacks to the Saitama encounter and THIS LOOK

The Anime is really fucking with the audience huh??? Making it look like KIngs about to throw hands like???????????? OH SHIT AND THIS MUSIC IS DOPE AS HELL TOO IM JUST laughing I have so much excessive energy right now???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHZAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASDFGHJKLJHGFDSWERTGYHUIUJHGFDFGHJKJHGFRE THE FUKKIN SONG THEY BROUGHT IT BACK THE ULTIMATE SONG I GOT THREE NOTES IN JUST THREE NOTES AND I KNOW IM SCREAMING I GOTTA GO RUN BRB 

IM STILL SCREAMING FADFJSAGFJDSLKAHVFSKLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OUR MAIN MAN THERE HE IS THERE HE IS IM GONNA THROW UP 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

OH MY FUCK THATS WHAT THE OPENING SEQUENCE EXPLOSION WAS FROM OH GOD OH FUCK BEAUTIFUL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL OH FUCK OH GOD 

The REPRISE oh no oh NO OH NO OH NO NO ITS NOT OVER im not ready its not I cant no no no i dont want to press play cause if I press play it will end soon no no no Oh my god and at the end there isnt gonna be a title card for the next episode because THERE IS NO NEXT EPISODE no non o nonononon on on on ono no no no 

NO 

HEY IVE BEEN RIPPED OFF. WHERES THE FACE WITH HIS HAIR BLOWN BACK??? ASDFJKL fine I cant even be mad everything else was tooo  ofdbghjfshkggfhsjgbfhjka

KING WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT REACTION ASDFGHJKL W H A T 

WAIT THEY ARE DOING THE OPENING THEME AT THE END NO I CANT HANDLE SEEING EVERYOONE NOW OF ALL TIMES GOD DAMNIT WHY ok yknow what. I knew it would be king. I dont know how but i did 

Wha

wh

fkin cliffhanger no please no 

I.. I’m kind of at a loss for words. I’m. That’s it, huh? It’s really over. It doesn’t FEEL over. There’s so much unfinished business. Well, the only way to really neatly wrap everything up as neatly as S1 did would have been to get ALL THE WAY through the Garou arc, which obviously wasn’t going to happen, but this is not a great spot to leave off if we’re going to endure another few years hiatus. My hope is that, with biweekley manga updates, we should wrap up the Monster Association/Garou stuff (assuming it doesn’t diverge from the web comic too much) some time next year, and I’m HOPING that s3 is already being planned accordingly along side manga publications. So MAYBE it will at least be announced around that time 2020. That’s my wishful thinking at least. I don’t think I can survive 3 years. anyway

You could really tell JC Staff poured their hearts and souls into these last 2 episodes. Absolutely gorgeous, paced well, so completely satisfying and making every second of s2 worth while. For me, at least. I’ve already seen people still complaining and I’m just sorry they didn’t have as much fun as I did. 

Seriously, thank each and every one of you guys. This has been a wild ride, I’ve barely had this blog a few weeks before season 2 started airing (and honestly just got into opm maybe a month before that?), so I owe a lot of the success on the blog to the anime I bet. This was the first series I’ve never tried live bogging, and I honestly can’t believe that they were as popular as they were? Especially since I never have any idea what I’m doing but yall listen to me ramble anyway?? Yall are crazy thank you so so so much. Now my tuesdays are gonna feel really empty… next week is gonna be weird as hell. Though I’m gonna get mad nostalgic good vibes rewatching this season in the future in no small part from sharing my experience with everyone who's stuck around. I can’t say see yall next week this time, but, see you next season whenever it may be for sure.

[killthebxy]

i have so many mixed feelings about the season finale.

so.

many.

mixed.

feelings.

and i don’t really know where to start... so i think i’ll start at the end. and i’ll start by making a separation in my analysis.

1. if we look at s08 ep6 on its own

          i’ve been writing Jon Snow since January 24th, 2017. s07 happened during April-May 2017, if i remember well? which means, some of you who’ve been with me from the start of my blog have watched me watching s07; have watched my reactions and my opinions and my rants. ever since then, i have been very open and very vocal about how much i loathed the idea of Jon as the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, and Jon eventually sitting this throne as king --- those of you who’ve followed me for less time also likely know this very well, because gods know i never shut up about it. so, considering the finale that Jon had... someone might tell me: you must be very happy! and, well... i am very happy. i was not made to see Jon sitting the throne. i was not made to see everyone call him Agony and hail him and glorify him. i got to see him wearing his black cloak again and returned to where he belongs --- away from thrones and kings and queens, away from the ungrateful northern lords, making peace with the free folk. hell, i even got to see him hugging Ghost, imagine. who would have thought, Jon Snow loves his soulmate more than his own life. sarcasm aside... yesterday, i told a couple of you that i had two final, very little requests of ep6: i wanted to see Jon crying (because i had read the leaks, and thus i knew what to expect) and i wanted to see those beautiful curls freed from the bun. and i got this. i got to see, FINALLY, after weeks, Jon Snow and not Agony Targaryen. loyal to the end, struggling with the cruel decision he had to make, quoting master Aemon, accepting his fate, doing his duty no matter the cost --- as he once did with Ygritte. if we look at this episode only, i got everything i ever hoped for, and for this i am grateful. and yet...

2. we cannot look at s08 ep6 on its own

          and this is where it all begins and ends. because ep6 does not exist on its own. does not exist in a void. nothing of what happened came out of spontaneous generation. Dany wasn’t suddenly the mad queen. Tyrion wasn’t suddenly clever again. Grey Worm wasn’t suddenly thirsty for blood and revenge. Jon Snow wasn’t suddenly Jon Snow and not Agony Targaryen. and this is why everything in this season is irredeemable to me, no matter how much i loved Jon’s finale if we look at it objectively and pragmatically.

          do you know why i love George’s writing so much? it’s not for the prose --- very honestly, 90% of the persons i roleplay with write better than him. it’s not completely for the storyline, either, though it is amazing --- very honestly, some of the book chapters are boring and long and fillers and with descriptions and details that no one cares about. i love George’s writing, however, for his absolutely brilliant talent to manage such a vast universe. he’s got so many major characters, thrice as many minor characters, even more characters that only appear at the end of the books, listed as part of the great houses and such. the experience of reading A Song of Ice and Fire, and least for me, was that --- you get to a point you lose track of what’s going on, exactly because there is SO MUCH going on. so many characters, so many stories, so many destinies. and i remember myself often asking: how the hell will some of this make sense in the end, this is huge and so complex. and then... then you get to A Dance with Dragons... and, fuck, it does make sense. ALL of it starts tying together. all the details, all the little plot twists, all the symbolism, all the foreshadowing --- it all comes around and ties together, it all makes sense. all these many, many parts come together in a whole --- and this is why i praise George so much. this is why i admire his writing so much. because, even if i am upset with some choices, it all makes sense. it all is fluid, coherent, so pleasing to read and to follow and so goddamn captivating.

          and then you look at s07 and especially s08... and you find nothing of this. where George does kill a lot of characters, he keeps the bulk of them and considers all of them --- and D&D simply kill them all off for not having any better use for them. where George writes intricate, complex, layered characters and 99% of them are purely made of grey areas and grey morals and so very few are completely good or completely evil --- and D&D turned them completely flat, shallow, predictable, cliché, borderline boring if not downright so. where George named this the world of ice and fire and makes it so that the big, overarching theme is flawed, very different humans trying to gather together to survive the common, legendary foe --- D&D were done with the Long Night in like 40 minutes, and the only thing dark about it was the terrible lighting that makes iconing ep3 a nightmare. and i could go on, but i think i’ve made my point. D&D haven’t the 10th of George’s talent --- and, hey, i can accept this. -i- don’t have the 10th of George’s talent for sure, and very few people in this world have the 10th of George’s talent when it comes to tying together such a huge, deep, complex plot. and i can live with this. i could live with predictable, cliché writing in s07, and still be able to enjoy it at least half the time. i wasn’t happy, but i was content.

          but s08? well. s08, the way i see it, was simply two things: 1) D&D trying to be George and trying to go for plot twists and trying to make a bittersweet ending of some sort... and then 2) D&D realizing they are as far from George as the Earth is from Pluto, and going fuck it we’ll resolve everything based on shock value. and i wish i was joking or exaggerating or being sarcastic --- but they have stated this themselves and are proud of it, apparently. you only have to google it and you’ll easily find it. these two gentlemen looked at, say, Daenerys, and asked themselves: we want her to be the mad queen in the end, what can we do to lead to this outcome? and they did it. it’s as simple and as linear as this. and literally everything and everyone, logic and common sense included, gets thrown under the rubble for the sake of making this happen. and this is why i have zero respect and zero credits for them, at the end of all things, even if i did love Jon’s finale when i look at it isolated from everything else.

because.

          yes, Jon Snow, the honorable man with a good, kind, merciful heart who does whatever needs to be done for the sake of his people, no matter the toll it takes on himself. check, this is the Jon i know and love. Jon Snow, not a glorified savior who succeeds where everyone else fails, not Azor Ahai reborn, but a tool, an instrument used to bring salvation --- Lightbringer itself. check, this is the Jon i know and love. Jon Snow, who was never destined for a happy ending, carrying the guilt and suffering the consequences of his decisions. check, this is the Jon i know and love. but what happened before this? what about everything that led him to this? 

          book!Jon and show!Jon were always different, this isn’t a new thing. even during seasons 1-5, where the show followed the book canon for the most part (at least in Jon’s case), they were already different. show!Jon has a lot more personal agency, in that he chooses to do a lot of the things he does --- while book!Jon tends to get sucked into the whole ordeal, and he tries to navigate it as well as he can. for an example: show!Jon offered himself to go with Qhorin Halfhand, book!Jon was chosen by Qhorin and caught by surprise and even lord commander Mormont was like ????. another example: show!Jon sends Grenn to hold the gate against Mag the Mighty and brings on himself the responsibility of commanding the Wall during the attack, book!Jon gets command imposed on him by Donal Noye and then again in the morning by master Aemon. again, i could go on and on, but i have made my point. regarding all this, while i do prefer book!Jon, i never hated show!Jon. some parts, even, like the battle at Hardhome, i honestly loved and i wish i could get that POV in the books.

          now, s06... post-revival. this is where the books-show rift happens for good, as they ran out of source material. very sincerely, i did not watch s06 as a whole --- i only watched Jon’s scenes. so if you ask me what was going on otherwise, i don’t know and i don’t really regret this choice. s06 Jon is a sort of limbo for me, because i cannot say if his portrayal was good or bad. clearly, this is when he starts making stupid decisions and being far more reckless, but... as mentioned, this is post-revival. this is a man who was stabbed in the heart by his own sworn brothers, who got wrenched back out of the grave, who immediately got told: hey you gotta keep fighting and you gotta start by going and reclaiming Winterfell and saving your little brother. given this context, can i judge him for not being himself? i can’t and i never did, which is why i accepted s06 (again, re: Jon Snow only) for what it was. and i was content with it, even if the revelation of his parentage for show!canon did not impress me.

          s07. this coincided with the birth and infancy of my blog, and honestly i was so excited to get to share this experience with everyone --- and this much was absolutely amazing. i was writing my Master’s thesis back then and i had a lot more free time, so i was able to stay up late and watch it live... and, boy, was that a ride. i had so much fun back then, and all of it thanks to my beautiful followers and friends who were there to live through this with me. but as far as the season itself went... yeah, that was the beginning of the end. because, unlike s06, Jon didn’t have excuses anymore to be stupid and reckless. and yet he still was. he still just grabbed a bunch of sturdy men and ventured into the fucking Frostfangs in the middle of winter without even bringing 1 (one) horse, just to name the most blatant of stupid examples. and the whole glorified superhero savior vibe? my good beans, i wrote a meta with 4000+ words to justify why that frozen lake scene was total bullshit and why Jon did die his second death there --- exactly out of spite for how much i hated it. how much i hated that D&D were turning the boy i love into a commercial protagonist who does the impossible and suffers no consequences and gets to have everyone else’s portrayal tossed under the wreck for the sake of glorifying him further. Rickon was already a plot device, Benjen Stark was a plot device, and i had the sinking feeling it would not stop there. s07 had bad and lazy writing, was terribly rushed and with very little character development, was pointing towards a very obvious and very cliché ending: Jon & Dany, the power couple, sitting the throne, having a baby, living happily ever after.

          and today... today i ask myself: how can you fuck up a plot so much, to the point where i wish i was made to see this cliché, predictable ending instead? i spent a year and a half whining about how much i did not want to see Jon sitting the throne... only to now look at the finale and be like --- sweet summer child, what did you know of fear. because, hey, yes, Jon was reborn from his ashes and Agony was cast aside and he got exactly the endgame i prayed for --- but at what cost? to get here, i had to see ALL the northern lords and half his family spitting on him for his decision to bend the knee. to get here, i had to see him literally say: it’s true, my name is Aegon Targayen. to get here, i had to see him avoiding Dany and not having the balls to talk to her about it until the very last moment. i had to see him plan the defenses of Winterfell like a complete stupid idiot who has no clue what he is doing. i had to see him forgetting Ghost is his soulmate. i was even deprived of the thing i love more in Kit’s acting, which is fighting on the ground --- for the sake of an epic dragon battle, yes, but that by rights he should not have survived. i was denied a one-on-one battle with the Night King, no matter who’d win and no matter who’d get to destroy the NK in the end. i got an epic moment of him roaring back at an undead dragon, yes, but what came in the next episodes got me to the point of headcanoning that he died during that moment. i had to see him not even mourn Edd’s death and going for Lyanna Mormont gods know why, who openly questioned and defied him. i had to see him being the by-the-book definition of a douchebag who sits drinking with friends and completely ignoring his girl who’d just lost one of her closest loved ones and was so clearly dissociating throughout that entire feast. i had to see him being described as so stupid that he obviously bent the knee for love and Dany was going to play him like a fiddle. i had to see him practically being made to choose between his family and the girl he loves. I HAD TO SEE HIM ABANDONING GHOST. i had to see him, again, pull away from Dany when she needed him most --- and, yes, in show!canon it is incest and all that, but you don’t have to fuck or kiss the girl you love to be there for her. i was denied, again, 1 (one) decent fighting scene on the ground because all he did at KL was to cut down a few soldiers with a few basic slashes.

          and, very frankly, what bothers and disgusts me the most out of all of this hellhole... i had to see character after character ruined, completely ruined in their essence, for the sake of stating: hey Jon Snow is a good guy! Rhaegal, who had to be butchered for the sake of triggering Dany and also because Dany and Jon and Tyrion were too stupid to remember Euron’s fleet still existed.  Missandei, who had to be butchered in chains for the sake of triggering Dany. Grey Worm, who had to be metaphorically butchered and turned into a blood-thirsty savage longing for blind revenge for the sake of Agony Targaryen, our lord and savior, being the merciful savior who claims pity for unarmed men. the women of King’s Landing, who had to be raped by northern soldiers, again for the sake of Agony being the good guy who saves one of them. and at the end of the day... Daenerys Targaryen. the little girl who wanted to go home and return to her house with a red door. who was exiled and sold and raped and harassed and humiliated and abused and betrayed and used and objectified. who made terrible choices more than once, yes and i erase none of them, but who made them with a good intention and who paid the price of said choices --- like Jon himself did, like we all, flawed human beings, do. the strong, willful, kind woman who heard Jon’s plea for help and went to save him and his men beyond the Wall and who lost one of her children for it. the queen who wanted to break the wheel and to make this world a better place. the breaker of shackles. Mhysa. she, who was never her father. reduced to this, for the sake of making Jon Snow the good honorable man who does his duty even at expense of his own interest and his own happiness.

          dear Mr. Daniel B. Weiss and dear Mr. David Benioff: do you know since when Jon Snow is a good honorable man who does his duty even at expense of his own interest and his own happiness? since always. since 283 AC. since far, far before you got your incompetent, untalented hands on him. and he never needed to be shown as one --- he was one. without the need to sacrifice 90% of the plot and the characters to make him seem so. he IS so. and this is why i’ll never forgive you, even if you did give me exactly the finale i wanted. because what you did to him, in order to bring him here? honestly, you deserve no redemption. ever. and if there is one thing that makes me extremely, utterly, earnestly happy today, it is that never again you will touch him. Jon Snow belongs to George, and he belongs to me, and he belongs to every beautiful talented roleplayer who writes him, and he belongs to every beautiful talented roleplayer who writes muses who interact with him. never to you, again. and for this i thank the old gods of the forest. today, Jon Snow is finally at rest. and, as of today, i can finally stop writing out of spite --- and return to writing because i love this boy.

[fresh-outta-jams]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Part 7

Namjoon x Reader Author: Admin Mo Summary: When your soulmate tattoo shows up, an address, you figure it can’t hurt to send a letter, right? Warnings: Some swears, soulmate fluff Word Count: 2.1k

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, Epilogue

Namjoon’s letter arrived a few days after your first video call. You read it with a grin. You’d just got back from your classes. Any minute, your phone would ring with your daily call from Namjoon, as soon as he woke up, which meant you got to hear his husky morning voice and see his beautiful bare face.

The sudden buzzing sent your heart racing, and as quickly as your fingers would allow, you picked up the phone.

“You thought I would hate you for being RM?” You asked without so much as a greeting.

“Well good morning to you, too.” Namjoon chuckled. “Got my letter, huh?”

“You’re dodging the question.”

He let out a sleepy sigh that turned into a yawn. You watched the way it stretched his features, his eyes squeezing shut. God, he was so cute sometimes…

“So maybe I was a little afraid you would hate me. But can you blame me? You’re literally the coolest person on the planet, it’s no wonder you took it in stride. Anyone else...someone who had been an ARMY for a while, maybe…”

“I get it. That’s scary.” You nodded, setting him at ease. You weren’t mad at him for being afraid. You didn’t think you had it in you to be mad at him for that. “But, everything happens for a reason. There’s a reason I didn’t hear about BTS until recently. Thanks for the song recommendations, by the way, you dork.”

“Any time, darling.” He grinned. Your heart took a little leap forward. Until recently, pet names were sort of uncharted territory, they still were. So even this little one made in jest was enough to get your blood pumping. “What are your plans for the day?”

“Not much. I already finished classes, so I’ll probably just spend the rest of the night writing your letter.”

“Time zones…” Namjoon lamented. It did look a little dark outside your window…

“Time zones.” You agreed. “You’re living in the future, Joon. Your today is my tomorrow.”

“That’s deep.” He chuckled. “I sent out your Christmas present the other day. I was hoping you and I could do a video call and open them together once they both come in.”

“That’d be perfect. I sent yours out too, so it should be on the way there, but the US Postal Service is weird, so it might not get to you for a while.”

“I’m patient.”

“Good thing, too, or this whole thing wouldn’t have worked out.” You laughed, and so did he. Even though you had only been in immediate contact for a little while now, you couldn’t imagine going back to a world where you barely knew what he looked like. Now, however, you had an abundance of information about him ready at your fingertips.

“Hyunggggg,” whined a voice beside Namjoon. He continued saying something in Korean that you didn’t understand.

“It’s not my fault you stay up late playing video games.”

Oh, that must have been Namjoon’s roommate, Tae, you figured, upset that Namjoon was up so early making noise.

“Sorry about him. What were you saying?”

“It’s fine, Namjoon. Tell Tae I’m sorry for waking him up.”

“It’s okay, (Y/N)...” Tae mumbled from the next bed over, shifting and turning away from their fearless leader.

“So I’ve been watching all of your old music videos.” You grinned at the way his face paled, eyes widening. “It’s kind of fun watching little teenage Namjoon. You were what, like eighteen when you debuted?”

“Jeez, something like that, yeah. Ugh that’s so embarrassing.”

“You were still fine as hell, though.” Your face scrunched as you thought. “Well, after the mini-afro, maybe.”

Namjoon shook his head, making a noise of disbelief. “I still can’t get over the fact that you actually find me attractive.”

“Okay, but I’m not the only one, though. There are entire Facebook pages dedicated to your dimples. I joined like three of them the other day.”

“That’s ridiculous.” He laughed, showing them off. You swore, you almost swooned at the sight. “I’m really not that attractive.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re kidding me. Namjoon...I don’t know how to express this in words. You are the hottest human being I’ve ever laid my eyes on. When you’re performing, there’s just this leader energy about you and it is so sexy. And then there are those videos of you at fansigns and you are so frickin cute. I don’t even know what to do with you. You’re not allowed to be that cute and that hot simultaneously. It’s not fair.”

By the time you finished, your soulmate resembled a very flustered tomato, covering his eyes with his long fingers. “Stop…”

“Not until you realize how fine you are. I could go on and on about how much I like the way you’ve been parting your hair lately or how gorgeous you always look, even in the mornings like this when you don’t have makeup on and-”

“Okay, okay, I get it. It’s just...hard to believe things like that when it’s a literal goddess telling me.”

“Oh hush. I’m not-”

“You are. You are so, so gorgeous. All I can think about is kissing your perfect lips and running my fingers through your pink hair.” It was your turn to blush. “I seriously…” he huffed. “I really just need you in my life. I need to hold you. Like. Now. I need to hold you now. I think I’m going to die of (Y/N) deficiency at this rate.”

“Cheesy-ass dork.” You snickered, shaking your head.

Someone knocked on Namjoon’s door. When he looked up, Yoongi was coming through. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Thanks, hyung. We’ll be out in a second.” Namjoon told the shortest rapper, who nodded and left as quickly as he’d come. Namjoon looked at you, a longing look in his eyes. “I’ve gotta go, baby. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good...right, it’s not morning there. Have a good night. Text me if anything interesting happens.”

“Will do. Have a good day, Joonie.”

And then you hung up, that familiar warm, yet empty feeling settling over your heart. You clicked your pen a few times, looking over the paper sitting in front of you. Recently, you’d purchased some nicer stationary with little crabs and seashells on them. You had yet to send Namjoon one of them, but you figured the purchase would encourage you to write fewer rough drafts.

You lowered the tip of the pen to the paper and the words started flowing.

***

“Dear Namjoon,

I had a very similar dream to yours. I was wrapped up in one of your sweaters. The sleeves hung past my fingers and I was baking Christmas cookies. And then you walked into the kitchen and I woke up. I’ve been trying to get back to that dream, though. It does, however, make me feel a lot better that it won’t stay a dream forever.

As you can see, I have enclosed a picture of myself from a Christmas party last year, something festive to make my Halloween picture a little less lonely. I expect a picture in return, as agreed upon.

I cannot wait to read your book. Send it whenever you’re ready for me to read it. As soon as I get off for break, I’ll have a bunch of time on my hands to work on it. Do you want edits or just feedback? I can do either. Or both. Whatever floats your boat. Ending books isn’t easy. It’s actually really hard. I think the key is to close the doors that make sense to, and leave the rest open. That way, there’s room for a sequel. It helps to read through everything again and make sure you didn’t leave any storylines hanging.

Also, after reading your letter and talking to you face to face every day since the first time, I can’t believe you were so nervous to tell me who you are. I mean, I can believe it. I get it. It’s tricky. You’re a worldwide superstar, a rising American heartthrob, if you will. I’m just a film student with no idea what she’s going to do with the rest of her life. Meanwhile, you’re filming music videos the likes of which I couldn’t even dream of creating. Spring Day’s MV seriously made me cry. The cinematography in it is so beautiful. The lighting, the colors, the song, your face...it seriously blew me away. Not to mention all of your other MVs.

I also watched some of JK’s Golden Closet Films, and I’d just like to ask: HOW? How does this boi...this BOI with no formal film education churn out something as beautiful as he always seems to? The editing, the skill, I just...wow. If you could ask him for some tips for me, I would be super grateful.

Talk to you soon,

-(Y/N)”

***

“Dear (Y/N),

I don’t think you were baking Christmas cookies in my dream. I don’t really remember all of the details. I’ve been trying to get back to it for the past few weeks, but I can’t seem to, unfortunately. I’ll keep you posted, though.

You should have warned me that you were going to send me the cutest picture on the whole planet. I love your Rudolph sweater. Does the nose light up? Also, is that your natural hair color??? You said you’d never had any crazy colors before pink, but I guess that doesn’t really apply to colors that could be deemed ‘natural’.

I have also attached a picture of myself. It was really hard to find one of me that isn’t already online, so I asked the other members for help and they managed to dig up that one that they had been saving to use for my birthday this year, but forgot. Consider it a sneak peek.

As far as my book-to-be goes, I would love edits and feedback. Really, whatever you think needs to be fixed, I will do it without a second question. After so many NaNoWriMos, you have to be a pro, right? I’ll email it to you. Mine is namjoon94@naver.com.

I think you forget that I’ve seen one of your film projects. I have. And it made my cry uncontrollably. It was beautiful and heart-wrenching and every other emotion I can think of. Though, to be fair, I didn’t have much to do with the production of the video. That would be our director, who has tons of experience in the field. All you need is time and then you’ll be cranking out masterpiece after masterpiece. That Oscar is right around the corner, baby, just you wait.

I asked Jungkook for some tips for you, and he said the key is to just keep playing with things until you like how they look. Play with the colors, the music, the speed, the cropping, whatever you want. Granted, he basically grew up in this industry, so it’s no wonder he’s so good at it.

I can’t believe Christmas is coming up so soon. Your last letter put me in a cookie mood, so if I put on weight because of it, I’m blaming you. Jin’s been trying out some recipes at my suggestion, and they’re all really good. His only request was that I stay the hell away from the kitchen. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m clumsy as fuck and I break and/or burn everything I touch. You have that to look forward to. Sorry jagiya.

Hope to hear from you soon,

-Namjoon”

***

Snow drifted down, covering your little city in white fluff, truly transforming it into a winter wonderland. Namjoon’s latest letter was between your fingers as you read it by the fireplace, a mug of cocoa sitting on the table beside you. At long, long last, you were home for Christmas. He’d told you in your phone call about a week ago that his tattoo had changed, and you’d had a mini heart attack before he read off the new one, only for you to discover it was your home address, where your parents lived.

So, you sat there, as cozy as you had been in a long, long time, wrapped in the softest sweater you owned, a warm blanket draped over your legs. Every once in a while, you would look up and imagine what it would be like to see Namjoon’s tall figure leaning against the doorframe to the den, mistletoe hanging over his head. Everything would be better if he was there, you decided. And yet, because of the miles and miles and miles stretched between you, you’d have to remain separate for at least a little while longer.

Your thoughts were only pulled from your warm thoughts of Namjoon when there was a knock at the door. When you opened it, it was all of your friends standing outside in the snow, wearing the ugliest Christmas sweaters they could find. You let them in with warm hugs and well-wishes.

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

You smiled. “Merry Christmas...”

Tagged: @ffantasylandd, @jooniefluff, @chimchimsauce, @mrs-saeyoung-choi, @theprinceoftheundead, @angyexoxo, @copenhagenspirit, @lovelylittlekittn, @lilgaga98, @iminlovewjjk, @feed-my-geek-soul, @loveandwitch, @recoveringflowerchild, @demonic-meatball, @maddieisaacs, @scissorsandtonfas, @carirosesg, @backtonormalthings, @local-mochi, @faliwi, @spoopyela, @nanie5, @ingenu--e, @undiscovered1personality, @andalos, @calspixie, @filtermono, @fryedshiken, @mikey-girl12, @lilliaflurr, @hypophrenium, @sitkafay, @spiicyari, @andeerwilson

[whereissora]

My Favorite Sora and Riku BroTP Moments

 First off, I don’t ship Soriku. Sorry, but I just don’t. I have never gotten a romantic vibe from them EVER and I really enjoy how they interact and work together like a pair of brothers. There are plenty of other tumblrs that post Soriku, and I assure you they’re not hard to find.

 Riku is sexy and important and Sora is a literal drop of sunshine, and I love both these boys so much. I really enjoy how much Riku’s character arc reminds me of Zuko from ATLA and how he embodies the “protective big brother” cliche which can be seen in a lot of animes. Likewise, Sora is a wonderful protagonist and the way he adores and actually listens to Riku makes me want to give Riku a thumbs up:

Good job, Riku, on somewhat-raising Sora. He’s wonderful in a million amazing ways~

 I know Sora has parents alright, im just messing around~

 And so, as I write this, I will be viewing Sora and Riku in a very platonic manner. These two are close to the point of being real brother’s, and since Kairi does play a part in their relationship, she will be mentioned here and there.

Just know that even if you ship SoRiku and I ship SoKai, doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy this list! This is a BroTP post, not an OTP post, but you may find one of the reasons you ship SoRiku on here even if I have a different understanding of the moment in question.

I will be leaving comments open, with one request: you may say whatever you like in response to this post so as long as you are respectful about it. So please, no character bashing, no ship bashing, and definitely no harassment or bullying. I will block any guilty party and/or close the comments for this post. 

10) Encounter in the Land of Dragons

 Sora spends the majority of KH2 looking for Riku, and eventually, Kairi. By the time he makes his second trip to “The Land of Dragons” (I’m super tempted to write China, here) Sora has still yet to encounter Riku despite all the extra behind-the-scenes help Riku keeps giving him. 

 They finally run into each other here, but Sora assumes its a member of Org XIII given what he seems to be doing and what he is wearing. Riku casually warns Sora to watch his back by pointing at the heartless, which Sora then takes out. After the fight, Riku makes this hilarious gesture, like he’s saying “well, look at that. You’ve become so dependable,” then runs off. Sora gives chase until losing sight of him at which point he wonders aloud:

 “That guy...”

 “No...! Why... Would he...?” 

 Sora thinks that it’s Riku he just met, and kinda reaches for him as he calls his name. He says “Riku?” in a way that doesn’t hide how cautiously hopeful he is, and is overjoyed later when he hears from the emperor that the guy in the black coat “was kinda rude.”

Sora, YOU’RE a little rude.

9) Riku demands to know what Diz wants (with Sora)

 Diz is a pretty suspicious character, and Riku trusts him about as far as he can throw him. Unfortunately, the only people Riku trusts implicitly are comatose, absent, or far away. He can’t wake Sora up on his own, so he begrudgingly accepts Diz’s help.

 Near the end of Sora’s reconstruction, Diz expresses his thoughts over Sora waking up in a way that’s... mildly creepy. 

 Diz doesn’t really care for Sora as a person. He’s a means to an end. Riku isn’t stupid--he can tell. His priority is doing everything he can to help Sora wake up. But the minute  Diz says Sora’s name--in a tone that makes it abundantly clear he is being used, like Roxas is--Riku takes a seat like “Don’t you f***ing dare. What do you want with us, anyway?” And says the polite version of that. 

8) Riku visits Namine

I’m not sure whether Riku knew to go see Namine on his own, or if he was summoned there by Diz. But either way, Sora’s awakening is taking way too long. 

 After leaving Castle Oblivion, Riku began investigating the Organization since they literally forced Sora into an indefinite, comatose state. Namine promised to look after Sora, and when they meet again, Riku, gently, but firmly, reminds her of this, as if to ask “What’s taking so long?”

 There can’t be a good reason, so he needs to know. That way, he can help.

 Unfortunately, the situation is that some of Sora’s memories currently reside in two different people. Namine carefully explains that there is no way to help Sora without harming them, and if they try to do that anyway, Sora will wake up only to realize no one remembers him. 

Here, the camera shifts from Namine to Riku while keeping that one line on the screen, making it clear that’s not an option for them. Sora cannot wake up to find out he’s been forgotten--they are not willing to risk that. 

 This leaves just the worst possible option, and that is to kill two people. 

 A role which Riku now resigns himself to.

 This might have been higher on the list if not for how SAD it is... For everyone involved. 

7) Sora remembers how they grew up together

 KH1′s ending broke a lot of hearts (cough not as much as III cough) and final mix’s version just twisted the knife with this little scene. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do not remember seeing this little Sora-flashback first time around. 

 The door has been shut and locked, leaving Riku and Mickey stranded in the Dark Realm. Sora looks on as he recalls his childhood spent growing up alongside Riku, how they laughed and ran together, and this scene couldn’t possibly be more heart wrenching--

Hears Project Destatis D.B. themes and variations playing in the background~

👏Thank👏you👏Everglow👏

You, too @projectdestati

6) Sora and Riku fight the final battle together

I love all the little scenes in this fight. 

 You get a lot of these two protecting/supporting each other here.

 At one point, Sora is nabbed by Xemnas and is having his HP drained, and you get to fight as Riku in order to free him.

 When Xemnas starts firing those light-rods or whatever they’re called at Sora and Riku, the boys stand back to back as they deflect them. 

 This leaves them so drained that Xemnas is able to kick Riku back and attack Sora, but Riku pulls Sora out of the way AND TAKES THE HIT HIMSELF.

 Sora and Riku use their combined strength to shoot Xemnas out of the sky.

 And on top of all that, you get this:

SORA AND RIKU STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT TO FIST BUMP!!!! This is canon. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!

 It’s as if they’re each telling the other:

                                             “No worries! I’m here.”

5) Riku meets Xion (twice) 

For the sake of keeping this list to my top ten, I’m including Riku’s first and second meetings with Xion as one reason. I know, I know, I’m kind of cheating, but I really can’t choose between these two.

 While investigating Org XIII, Riku must wear their coat. It allows him to move about without detection. Ironically, this also gets their attention since he’s Riku, he’s not one of their members, and he’s clearly opposed to them. They send Xion to take him out, but he defeats her and is both disturbed and concerned by her appearance. 

 Xion demands to know why Riku is dressed as one of them, and he answers:

                            “To make sure my best friend... Sleeps in peace.”

Riku is determined to protect Sora, who is vulnerable in his sleeping state, no matter what Riku is forced to wear, or who he transforms into. This may partly be due to the fact that:  

 Riku was the one who opened the DTD and destroyed the islands.

 Riku is the reason Kairi’s heart was separated from her body and went into Sora’s for shelter.

 And Sora ultimately had to stab himself through the heart to free her and complete the keyhole in Hollow Bastion.

 And all of this led to the creation of Roxas, Sora’s Nobody, being born. Sora wouldn’t even be in this mess if it weren’t for Riku’s actions. Heck, without Riku, Sora never would’ve gotten the keyblade, which has made Sora a huge target for Org XIII. Riku carries that guilt with him everywhere he goes throughout Days, as he struggles to help Namine complete Sora’s reconstruction.

The next time Riku meets Xion, she’s run off from the Organization because she learned what she really was. She tries to ask Riku where Sora is and he outright tells her:

                                             “That secret stays with me.”

Riku says this in a way that makes it clear he would die before he handed Sora over to the enemy, and isn’t willing to risk Sora’s safety for anything.

 Riku, buddy, you’re a priority, too.

He never blamed Xion or Roxas for the Organization’s actions, though, because just like Sora, these two were being used. So when Xion asks “Do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?” Riku’s answer is:

                                             “Nah... I guess I’m just sad.”

Me: 

Xion is the reason Sora cannot wake up! On top of that, because Xion exists, Riku must see to it that both she and Roxas meet their ends if he ever wants to see Sora again. And despite all that, Riku doesn’t hate her. 

5) “Don’t be so reckless. Do you want to end up like Riku?”

Halfway through KH2, Saix implies that Riku has ended up in a dire situation, causing Sora to react with alarm. As far as Saix knows, Riku was taken out by Roxas, and he’s more than happy to let that slip to Sora who has been searching everywhere for him.

With or without his memories of C.O., Sora’s last real memory of Riku is watching him be trapped in the Dark Realm when they closed the door together.

The Dark Realm is basically the KH version of Hell, and it’s not the place for hearts of light residing within still-living individuals. From what Sora’s seen of the Dark Realm, it is crawling with dark sides, and even if there is a light within the darkness, the Dark Realm is not a safe place to be.

So hearing Saix say “Do you want to end up like Riku?” has a pretty powerful impact on him. Aside from his own firm belief in Riku’s strength, Sora has been given every reason to believe Riku is dead. There’s no sign of him anywhere, no word of him from anyone, and the last place he was seen in is a relatively fatal environment.  

And now he has even less reason to hope Riku is still alive.

4) Riku rescues Sora in 3D

 Say what you will about 3D, but the bro feels are HEAVY in this game. 

 Once again, Sora is lured into one of the Organizations traps.

 And again Riku attempts to protect him from this trap. 

 Again, he failed to reach Sora in time. It is only with the help of Donald, Goofy, Mickey, and Axel that he is able to retrieve Sora before it is too late. 

 Sora’s heart was trapped in darkest abyss, leaving Sora’s empty body in a sleeping state, similar to what Ven suffered through for over a decade. Yen Sid theorizes that Riku, who unlocked the seven sleeping keyholes within Sora’s dreams, now has the ability to retrieve Sora’s heart and wake him from his sleep.

 Come to think, maybe this has something to do with why we see Riku looking for Sora in the KH3 secret movie instead of Kairi?

It’s insanely dangerous to venture into the abyss, but Riku goes anyway and is successful in rescuing Sora.

 3)  Did I mention that Sora called for Riku when YMX nabbed him?

Sora’s afraid! He’s steeming in darkness and he’s struggling to keep his eyes open because he knows there’s a chance this will be the last thing he sees! He’s aware that if his body is turned into a vessel, he’ll be used to hurt Riku, Kairi, and everyone else he loves.

 So what does he do? He calls for Riku!

 Riku has been taking the exam with him, and if there’s anyone who can pull him out of this mess its Riku, the same person who has almost always come to his rescue. 

 And Riku does that just that.

 I actually really enjoyed 3D just because it was fairly dark, and heroes can’t succeed all the time. Plus, Riku got to play the role of the one who has Sora’s back no matter what and was rewarded with the title of Keyblade Master for his trouble.

Sora deserves to be Master, too--

2) Kairi reunites Sora and Riku in TWTNW

This scene has me in tears, even now. 

 As mentioned before, Sora has been given every reason to believe Riku is dead. 

 He saw someone in the Land of Dragons who was using Riku's keyblade, and was kind of acting like Riku. But was that really him? Or just another member of Org XIII messing with him? 

 What did Saix mean when he warned Sora not to be reckless like Riku was?

 King Mickey made a promise to Riku, but what sort of promise? And why won’t he say anything about Riku?

 What happened?

 Where is he?

 Thanks to Kairi, Sora is able to reunite with Riku properly. Riku wasn’t even going to say anything to Sora--he still feels ashamed of himself for betraying Sora, and for looking the way he does. But Kairi takes both boys hands and has Sora close his eyes, and Sora is able to finally figure it out:

 Riku was always close by, helping him. He just looks a little different.

 Sora raises his head, and his eyes first widen then scrunch up as the tears come. 

He takes Riku’s hand and falls to his knees. 

Once he’s down there, he can’t hold himself together anymore and just starts weeping. 

 This is part of the reason people ship SoRiku at all, and heck, I might have too if not for SoKai and the fact that Sora is a super affectionate person. 

 Also, it’s pretty clear by how relieved and tearful Sora is that he more-or-less believed Riku was gone. He looked for him, but couldn’t find him anywhere. The organization loves to mess with him--maybe that guy who was behaving like Riku in the Land of Dragon’s killed him and stole his sword. Maybe the reason Mickey won’t say anything is because the truth is too much. 

 I have best friends that I’ve grown up with, too. If they were to vanish like Riku did, and I went from country to country in search of them, and then if I finally found them after being told everywhere I went that they were gone... Well, I’d be more of a mess than Sora because I’m not as strong as him. 

 Sora manages to choke out that he looked ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE for Riku. To which Riku answers:

This earns a shocked little gasp from Sora, because it’s kind of a slap in the face to Sora’s efforts to locate Riku.

 Not that Riku is trying to be cruel here. Sora doesn’t understand yet that Riku only pushed him away in order to protect him. And when Sora demands, “Why didn’t you let me know you were okay?” Riku calmly explains that he couldn’t stand for Sora and Kairi to see him like this, with Heartless Ansem’s face. The face of the man that possessed him and nearly killed Sora and Kairi.

 But they don’t care what he looks like, because it’s still Riku on the inside.

1) Riku protects Sora in KH3

Gosh, this was such a heavy moment. 

 Sora and Riku were just forced to watch as all their friends were whisked away into the Demon Tide. The last person to go was Kairi, and once she’s gone, Sora falls to his knees lets out a scream that destroyed me physically, emotionally, and mentally.

We have never seen this side of Sora before, and neither has Riku. Just after Kairi is taken away, Riku is standing nearby, staring out at the demon tide, apparently in shock. We can’t see his face, but Riku grew up with Kairi, too, and he’s clearly distressed by what just happened. 

 But Sora screams his heart out and Riku immediately rushes to his side. He kneels and listens as Sora gives up and claims he is worthless without the others. Riku’s expression is soft at first but slowly hardens, and after Sora cries over his failure, Riku quietly gets up and tells him:

                                     “Sora, you don’t believe that.”

                                              “I know you don’t.”

 Riku then walks forward without another word, and singlehandedly keeps the demon tide at bay. 

 Sora cannot find the strength to get up and help, but Riku doesn’t yield. He screams in defiance as the shadows overtake him, determined to protect Sora until the end. 

 Overall, I just really like how Riku has Sora’s back no matter what and how Sora quietly acknowledges that in KH3 when comparing Riku and himself to Anna and Elsa:

These two are bros for life.

[tidesreach]

what are your top 5 clips/scenes from s2 of skam italia? (i know it's hard to choose)

This was incredibly difficult, anon. How dare you? But l gave it a good go. This took longer to answer than I intended because I am me and thus I could not stop prattling on. Sorry? But here we are:

1. La Grotta / Martino e Niccolò

Tied first place because it is impossible to separate them. I refuse. I know I have already talked everyone to death about both of these clips but I just adore them. Every single thing about them. They are so important. La Grotta took my breath away. Both Rocco and Fede did such an incredible job at conveying the emotion of this moment. Because the thing is, Marti's issue was never entirely to do with Nico having a mental illness. Despite what happened in Milan, Marti still wanted to see Nico, to know that he was okay. Marti's struggle was predominantly with the idea that Maddalena (*side-eyes*) planted in his head that Nico's illness somehow voided their relationship and his feelings for Marti. Nico's illness never made Marti love him any less. In fact, Marti was afraid of the opposite. That Nico's illness meant that Nico didn't love him. And all of that is just so apparent in this clip. Because as soon as Marti realises that Nico is truly in love with him, not even God himself can fucking stop him from getting to that terrace. The entire scene on the terrace is utterly heart-wrenching and breathtaking. One of the most beautiful things about that moment is that Marti does not stop smiling through it all. It is the most certain and understanding and reassuring smile. He looks at Nico with so much softness and conviction. Because he knows that Nico loves him now. And that's all that really matters. Yes, it's going to be tough. But it's worth every second. He breaks through Nico's shame. He literally kisses away his tears. He soothes Nico's deepest fears. And all Nico can do is watch in silent awe that this boy really exists in front of him. That Marti's not ashamed of him or abandoning him. Like, it's so beautiful? Everything about it is just so beautiful.

Martino e Niccolò is just as beautiful. I've talked about this before so I'm not going to write an essay, but Nico's fragile vulnerability hit me like a fucking train. I can feel every single moment of his conflict and shame in this scene. Of how utterly terrified he is of Marti witnessing a depressive episode. Terrified that he's going to drag Marti down with him and that Marti will inevitably end up hating him and leaving him. And Marti handles it with such care and reassurance. So much gentle certainty. I am truly in awe of that boy. He is such a grounding presence for Nico. It was so lovely to see Nico respond the way he did. Because despite how completely horrible he feels he manages to smile. And that's a wonderful thing.

(Also I love when Marti's on the phone to Maddi and she says, "It's not true that he only wants to be with you because of his illness" etc. Because Marti's face is so funny? His expression literally says, "Yeah, cheers, but I already fucking know that now. No thanks to you." In fact, he doesn't even dignify the comment with a response. I love you, Martino.)

2. Due Ore

I will never forget the night that clip dropped (or the previous night when we were all sat waiting for it and it didn't drop, what a fucking time). I love every single second of Due Ore. The atmosphere -- the feeling -- of that scene was just incredible. It was like an exhale. You could feel it. Could feel the relief, the finally, this is where we're supposed to be, after the tumultuous push-and-pull of the last couple of weeks. You could feel the inevitability of it when they were stood there staring at each other. Nico's nervous anticipatory smile as he waited for Marti to make the first move. Marti grinning back at him in earnest. They both knew that there needed to be an actual conversation at some point. But in that moment it just wasn't necessary. It could wait. Because everything was written on their faces. This is what I want. You are what I want. We talk about fate a lot with these two -- the red string of fate! -- and I never felt it more strongly than I did in this scene. You could almost see the damn string tying them together. It was inevitable and they both knew it.

3. Patatine e Marmellata

Getting to see them wake up together was such a blessing. The way Marti was sleeping on Nico's chest, gosh. They looked so peaceful and content. It was wonderful. And their conversation -- the conversation that they inevitably had to have -- about Maddalena was important. "I want to figure out how I feel for myself." It gave us an important insight into Nico's headspace and the way the people around him treat him and his illness. When Marti directly asks him how he feels, Nico's face just lights the fuck up. It hurts my heart a little. When was the last time someone asked him that without trying to dictate the answer for him? His soft, whispered answer of "You know perfectly well. And it's never happened to me before." He knows how he feels and he can finally say it and not have it questioned. Marti's smile and his little breath of a laugh -- like he just can't contain how delighted he is that they feel the same way -- before his "Me neither". And then of course, Buon Viaggo. The way they literally cannot stop grinning at one another. Their soft kisses in between serenading each other. I mean, you could not make this up. And god, the way Marti stares up at Nico when he starts singing absolutely floors me every time. He is so in love with him he is completely incapable of keeping it off his face. Then he just straight up calls him the man of his dreams. And not forgetting the boys and their incredible dance and sing-a-long while cleaning the kitchen. How was this clip even real? What a fucking blessing.

4. Nel Mio Letto

Soft Boyfriends(tm). This is always my first go-to clip when I'm feeling particularly awful. Because there is just something so incredibly comforting about it. It's like a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea on a bitter cold winter's day. I think it's to do with the cosy softness of it all. The way they're intertwined. The sleepy cuddles and kisses. The coffee. The coffee heart. The song. It's like a wonderful bubble of contentment. Like Nico's bed is its own little safe haven. I love the whole atmosphere of it. It really does feel like they are the only two people in the world. Which ties in perfectly with their conversation about the last man on earth. (Still sad they didn't get their three days in bed though.)

5. Halloween

HALLOWEEN. Everything about this is iconic. The giraffes on the beer glasses? Marti dramatically ditching his mask in front of the Catholic church? The lighting in the pool? That shot of them underwater where they're surrounded by an endless expanse of water like they're in the ocean? Nico somehow managing to never stop fucking smiling at Marti even when trying to hold his breath underwater? I love that Skam Italia managed to make the pool scene their own. It was a world away from the OG scene (in the sense that it has a completely different feel to it) and I love that. I love that they're both essentially the same scene but evoke so many different emotions. There was this sort of giddy anticipatory feeling with Marti and Nico. Their kiss was like taking that first breath after being underwater for so long. The way they clung to each other? The way they were so in awe of each other? Like in Due Ore there was that overwhelming feeling of joy and relief. Finally.

Honorary mentions, because just five is too hard:

Tu Non Sei di Milano

It feels a little bizarre to call it a favourite clip. It would perhaps be more accurate to say that it is a clip that particularly resonated with me. I have only watched this clip in its entirety three times. The first time I was on a bus to London -- frankly I should have known better than to watch it in public -- and I almost had a panic attack while watching it. I sobbed in a public bathroom for a good twenty minutes, it was quite the day. Because I recognised so much of myself in Nico and his behaviour and I felt so much empathy for him. It hit me like a fucking train. It was the most difficult clip to watch, but it was also incredibly important. It took me a long time to rewatch it. The second and third times were difficult too. But also cathartic in a way. When you suffer from an illness like BPD, it can be incredibly isolating. You can feel like there is no one else in the world who can possibly understand what you're going through or what it feels like. Sometimes I think, "I'm ridiculous. No one else does this crazy shit. Why am I like this? Why can't I just snap the fuck out of it?" Watching that clip was validating in a lot of respects. It was difficult to watch but it also reminded me that I am not alone. That there are other people out there who experience the same struggles that I do. Who battle with episodes like this too. It was an incredibly tough watch, but it was so important.

Also, veering away from the more painful aspects of that clip: I absolutely love the way Nico seduced Marti in front of that damn neon light. Marti's soft and naive voice when he's attempting to read the "how fun". Nico's "no, no, it says Marti and Nico" and insisting Marti look again just so he can catch him by surprise in a kiss. Those achingly slow and soft kisses they exchange are probably my favourite kisses of theirs. That scene was just so intimate and beautifully done.

Vediamo

One of my favourite things about this season is the dynamic between Marti and his mother. It was so lovely to watch them heal and slowly but surely repair their relationship. Vediamo really captured the essence of that. Marti's misplaced anger towards his mother during the fallout of Milan. The brutal yelling. The way they both sit on opposite sides of the door. Marti's quiet and tearful "Are you sitting there?" His mum asking him if he thinks she would have a problem with it and then her sobbing "You are the most important thing in my life." The two of them just bloody sobbing on either side of the door. I am tearing up thinking about it. Good grief. I absolutely adore Mamma Rametta. And of course, "Vediamo" and her calling it Martinese for "No." Their tearful laughter. I love it so much. They have their ups and downs but they really do love each other unconditionally.

Effettivamente

This might just be one of my favourite coming out scenes that I have ever witnessed. Fede did such a wonderful job at conveying Marti's inner struggle. The way Marti has to fight to get the words out. The way he falters a little when he says "It's not a girl." It makes my own heart falter every single fucking time I watch it. You can see him wrestling with the words. And Gio, darling Gio. I love Giovanni Garau with a U (it's Sardinian), resident Love Wizard. He's such a wonderful friend and I just really adore the way he handles it. The way he stops playing FIFA to give Marti his full attention. That wonderful and supportive smile of his. How he asks questions about Niccolò and lets Marti get out some of the shit he's been holding onto. He really puts Marti at ease. You can see the relief seep into Marti's body when he realises that nothing is going to change between them because of this. Marti's huge smile when Gio says "He needs to leave his girlfriend" and then ruffles Marti's hair. I love supportive best friends.

And there you have it. Sorry, you asked for five and I gave you about nine. You probably didn't want a novel. But what can I say? I have a lot of love to share.

[imagine-marvelously]

A Weapon of My Own Design: Flying (Ch 2)

Characters: Loki x OC (Ashira), some randos 

Warnings: People being mean about women, rude language about women, drinking (sorta)

Locations: Her ship, Contraxia

WC: 3,253

Summary: Three days of awkward travel leads Loki to some conclusions. 

A/N: So I also love Game of Thrones so there will also be some Game of Thrones references eventually tossed in. The outfit she wears is inspired by this Pin on Pinterest btw because I’m shit at describing. 

Chapter 1

--

It’s three days into mindless flying in the voids of space when the pair officially talks again. Well, Loki gathers it’s been three days based on the sleep pattern of Ashira. He’s careful to try to be opposite of her: being awake most of the time she is asleep and vice versa. She always leaves food on the table for him, but he found out quickly she wasn’t wrong when she said it is likely expired. All of it tasted of mildew and mold and dust, the actual flavor an after thought. The water tasted decently at least. 

Loki, for the most part, has been quiet on top of his careful avoidance. He isn’t quite sure what to make of the ship, the situation or the woman he is traveling with. Ashira on the other hand is chaotically loud: crashing into things constantly, playing bizarre music even while asleep and leaving parts of various sorts and tools all over the place. It is abundantly clear she is accustomed to traveling alone. It became especially apparent when Loki sat at the small table made barely for two the other morning, maybe evening?, and found himself sitting on an unfinished bomb that Ashira clearly knew about but he had no clue existed until that very moment. 

He has thus far learned the following things about Ashira: 

She is clearly an extremely skilled mechanic and engineer

Even with his Allspeak, he cannot read most of the hand written stuff she leaves lying everywhere, so her native language is not one he knows

She is very, very clearly running away from something that is life or death 

With a huff he sits up carefully from the bottom bunk bed. He already found it odd that the bed she has is a bunk bed shoved against the wall, but when he found out she slept on the tiny window seat, facing the stars, he nearly questioned her sanity entirely. 

Add that to the list: 4) Sleeps in uncomfortable places despite having mildly less uncomfortable arrangements available

The Asgardian wanders down from the top part of the ship after sleeping to see Ashira sitting down in the middle of the floor, tools and parts all around her, the table shoved even further into the wall than he thought possible, and a part of the wall he didn’t even know opened just beside the exit and across from the kitchen propped open with what appears to be a double-sided scythe of some form. At this point of the cycle she is typically up in the cockpit checking their route or showering, so actually seeing her working on something is an entirely new experience. 

Her eyes flit up to his movement. She is also just now experiencing his routine, despite being keenly aware this is when he typically descends. Ashira knows she is the outside variable throwing a wrench in his day but also knows she needs to get this done before they land. 

With a nod of her head she gestures towards the ground in front of her. The prince glances down at the somewhat empty spot that is still entirely crowded by random pieces of universe knows what. He sits carefully, long legs uncomfortably crossed to accommodate the lack of space.

“So, Loki, tell me more about yourself.” She goes back to tinkering with the silver sphere. 

Loki adjusts his posture to be more comfortable before beginning. “As you know I was a king of a planet called Asgard. But previous to that I was one of two princes, became king because my brother became overly arrogant about a situation, was cast out…he returned however, we fought and I sort of fell into a void created from said fight. And you?”

Ashira softly inhales as the sphere cracks open. “Well, I was a princess but due to circumstances I ran away. And that’s why so many people are after me. Apparently running away when you are apart of some big deal is a big no no.” 

Loki picks up a random tool, his need to fight to avoid his truth his growing. But her truth, now that’s of interest. “Princess of where?” 

“Does it matter?” She places the tool aside and reaches inside, pulling up a neon, violently green light that swallows up the room. “I ran away for a reason, and all that matters is I don’t want to be a princess and I don’t want to be from there.”

Loki watches as she switches the light source to her right hand and with her left picks up another tool. “I told you where I am from, eye for an eye, no?”

“An Earthen saying that just makes everyone blind, so no.” 

He can’t even see what she is doing at this point so he drops the tool and leans back. “But you know what Earth is?”

“Earth, Midgard, Terra, all the same…” she muses as she reattaches a few broken wires. 

Loki sighs. It’s unlikely he will be getting anything out of her any time soon from the mumbling of an answer she’s given. 

Add that to the list, 5) She is stubborn. 

Ashira drops the green power source back into its containment, eyes flicking back up to Loki. The green in the room subdues back to nothing as before and Loki looks directly into Ashira’s eyes. If there is one thing he can do if she is going to be stubborn, it’s attempting to read her mind without physical contact. 

“My family and people probably think me dead,” he says sadly. 

Ashira re-seals the containment unit without even blinking, maintaining her stare down with Loki. While normally he can get some semblance of noise at least, he is getting nothing. No sentences, no words, no word fragments, not even static. Silence. He is not even getting an inkling of an idea of what she could even be thinking, forget trying to figure out where she is from originally. 

“Fuck, I wish. Then I wouldn’t be on the run constantly. Maybe I could actually settle down, run a gambling ring or something.” A soft grin pulls at her lips. “I like you Loki.” 

Loki smiles at the woman in front of him. Someone stubborn and possibly noticed his attempt at mental intrusion and stopped him? A wonderful match. “I suppose you aren’t that bad yourself.”

She scrunches her face in amusement. “We should be landing in a few hours. Gotta switch out the power source and maybe we can have some fun while we are at it… actually I will have some fun while we are at. You on the other hand, well I don’t know how you have fun my prince.” 

—

Loki hadn’t expected an ex-princess to land them somewhere so dirty and surprisingly cold. But Ashira just hops off the ship with a coat she grabbed from under her window seat bed, her hair in an entirely different braid than literally ten minutes before, and starts walking towards the city like it’s nothing. 

Like she hadn’t just landed them on a dark, dirty, cold, barren, waste dump of a planet. 

Ashira stops about forty feet out when she realizes Loki hasn’t followed, turning quickly on her toes. 

“You coming or not?” She shouts. 

Loki looks down at the disgusting frost and snow. If there is one thing Jotunheim had going for it, it wasn’t dirty. 

“A moment, please.” 

The runaway huffs. They only have so long til someone will have a track on her ship, and even less time once they get in the city because it’s likely someone will recognize her through their drunken haze. 

Loki braces himself. This woman was kind enough to take him on when she could have left him there as she knew nothing about it and even accused him of being after her. He can stay a few hours on an absolutely disgusting planet with her. He can do it. 

He steps off the ship and onto the too crunchy icy snow. The sound of the door shutting tightly behind him lets him know there is no turning back now, unless of course he wants to just sit outside while she goes to town. So he walks forward towards Ashira with a grimace on his face. 

“Don’t like the cold?” She teases. 

Loki ignores her; he continues his walk, shoving past her to continue to the city. Of course he isn’t fond of the cold after what happened literally four days ago. But for it to also be this… this insulting? He doesn’t want to talk about it. 

Ashira watches with a raised eyebrow. 

“Someone is grumpy.”

She seamlessly catches up with him despite him being taller with longer legs, sliding beside him with ease. He’s surprised at the ease in which she walks beside him since he is by no means slowly doing for her. No labored breath, no increased exertion, nothing from what he can tell. 

It’s a silent ten minute walk to the city. Ashira isn’t concerned with his possible questions and Loki hasn’t bothered to ask any yet. He is partially distracted by the snow: how harshly it falls, how heavily it hits the ground, how unnatural this particular type seems. In fact, the cold feels wrong as well to him. It could be entirely possible that it is due to the revelations of a few days ago, he admits, but something else about the air feels wrong. 

As soon as their boots hit the actual city streets, Loki is instantly brought back to the reality in front of them. 

“Where is this precisely?” Loki grimaces as a group of dirty, drunk creatures stumble passed them. 

“Contraxia!” Ashira bumps into him playfully. “Place to get drunk, get laid and steal from people by hustling the hell out of every game.”

“Hustling?”

“Like pretending to be really bad at something then at the last minute beating the shit out of them at whatever game. I’m amazing at it. Come on, I’ll show you.”

The ex-princess grabs the prince’s right hand in her left, dragging him quickly towards one of the many, many establishments with a flashy, bizarre sign advertising something just slightly nefarious with more than enough drunk people moving in and out. She pulls him sharply towards a staircase between two of the buildings. More than a little nefarious. 

The staircase is entirely dark, steep and slippery and she walks much faster than he. Without her grip he honestly would have fallen at this point (not that he will ever admit that). At a sharp right, he trips. Ashira tugs him upright as she continues to ascend quickly and he barely lands on his feet in order to keep with her pace. 

His eyes notice a light not too far off once he is balanced. Why anyone would put the light so impossible high and leave the rest of the journey dark and dangerous is beyond him. 

And about a minute later they reach that light. A well-lit, golden door stands before them, complete with a perfectly hand written sign, placed just below Loki’s eye-height reading: “Master Zwell’s Gamehouse”. It is guarded by a single guard, faceless due to the mask, who as far as Loki knows, doesn’t even spare them a glance. 

The ex-princess slowly pushes open the door. The inside is all white marble and golden accents and very, very well polished. People and creatures sit at various tables playing games he has never seen in suit styles he has never seen. Given the circumstances of the planet Loki expected another shady place with a randomly nice door. 

“Come on,” Ashira says, tugging on his hand lightly. 

She now leads him towards a side room to the right of them both where she releases his hand to shed her jacket. Clearly he wasn’t paying attention early because the oil-muddied clothes she was wearing before they got off are gone and are replaced with some of the most beautiful gold and white and silver dress armor he has ever seen. 

In its essence it is a fortified white bodysuit with gold threaded designs throughout, extra silver detailing along the abdomen and where a slight v is cut out by the neck paired with sleek white boots with silver straps. The belt around the hips makes it clear that a sword and several daggers (and maybe a gun or two) could be sat there, but instead Ashira has left them empty, save a few pouches she has strung into them. Loki also notices a few places along the legs, barely noticeable to anyone with a keen eye, where blades likely sit. The outfit feels incomplete to him, so it is likely there is a cape meant to be with it. 

“When did you change?” He asks. 

Ashira looks up at him, sliding her jacket onto one of the many hangers. “I was gone for nearly forty minutes before we landed. I had time to change and redo my hair. Take off your jacket, unless it’s part of your,” she pauses, gesturing to him, “ensemble.”

He looks down at himself only to realize he did indeed conjure himself up a fur coat earlier that he does not need to be wearing. Loki quickly sheds it and hangs it besides hers. 

“Now c’mon, I have money to schmooze.” 

Back out the way they came in and past four guards is the desk where Ashira stops. She digs into one of the pouches attached to her belt, leaving Loki free to look about again. He always need to take in as much information as possible. 

The first thing he notices is the number of wandering eyes now directed towards them. No, not them, her, as she keeps her back turned to the entire room. While Loki isn’t entirely opposed to checking someone out, he knows very well that his mother would yell at him for hours if he were so rude as to do so in such a way. 

Ashira flips open her credit pass at the woman in charge of exchanges. This particular one is new, young, and uncomfortable in her white dress. 

“Deal in for 30,000. Is there a spot open for Poker?”

The bored, blue haired, green eyed, pink skinned woman taps her machine against the pass. “Table 6 has a spot open.” Her eyes flit over Ashira’s shoulder to Loki. “Is he playing?”

“No.”

“Alright.” 

Ashira slides the chips off the desk after placing her pass back in the belt pocket. She knows where all the tables in this particular establishment are since none of the Ravagers ever frequent it and a lot of the gangs don’t either because they are always too dirty and underdressed. And the best part of it? Foreign leaders and diplomats come without their spouses knowledge to get laid with one of those weird love bots and gamble. They spill secrets everywhere. 

Loki now notes the sheer number of men and who he presumes are men playing with women or robotic women sitting on their laps or hanging off their arms as they walk through the grand room. Guards litter the perimeter of the room, faceless and armed. And yet here Ashira is, a short and universally wanted woman in a skin tight suit, waltzing into the room like it’s nothing. 

To her, practically everything seems like it’s nothing. At least from the outside. 

Table 6 conveniently has one spot but two chairs available. Ashira sits down with ease, placing her chips towards the edge of the table and waits a moment for to be able to be dealt in. Loki follows her pattern, sitting in the chair that is to the left but also slightly behind her, still taking in all the norms and customs. 

The ex-princess turns over her shoulder, looking Loki up and down a moment before stopping at his eyes. “As you’ve noticed, it’s mostly men with female escorts and whores around here. I’m not asking you act as my whore but at least pretend to be my friend in here, like we are legitimately traveling together so people don’t think I’ve stolen you and try to arrest me,” she whispers. “They don’t care what the other men do. They do care what women do who aren’t their whores.” 

Loki glances past her at a few of the men at the table they are at. Clearly dignitaries of some form, hiding habits from people back home. Powerful. 

“Alright,” he whispers back. 

“Sweetheart, you playing?” A man sneers. 

Loki catches the look of pure disgust and frustration on Ashira’s face before it melts into one of the most amazing smoldering smiles he has ever seen. 

“Figure I’d try my luck tonight.”

The prince tries not to change his facial expression at the sound of her voice saying that. It’s smooth, elegant, seductive and 100% unlike anything she has said within the past three days. He knows it is unnatural but she makes it sound like that’s just how here voice is. 

Add that to the list: 6) A master of deceit. 

For the next half hour or so, Loki watches in silence. Card games are rarely ever played on Asgard and the ones that are do not function like the one laid out before him. So he watches carefully as people slide their bets to the center or remove them just as quickly; the way people watch other’s eyes and hands and even other’s escorts for tells of lying or tells of a good hand; he notes the way Ashira lets herself lose a few times, pouting gently at the men at the table before winning a round with large wagers sitting in the center, despite the game being luck and lying. 

Loki leans over Ashira’s shoulder, lips resting gently near her ear. “At this game it is just lying basically, no?”

She tilts her head in towards him, facade still on her face. “Basically, wanna give it a try?”

“Sure.” 

“I’ll tap out and get us some drinks, you play this round.” She tilts her head back to the group, her face still as gently seductive as before. “I’m going to let my friend give it a try, you think he’s as lucky as I am?”

—

Slightly tipsy, several different types of games, and many credits later, Ashira and Loki are back on the actual streets of Contraxia. They are quieter now - most people gone to bed or crawled into a shop now that morning nears. Not that anyone can really tell when morning is on this planet. 

But it’s near silent. The snow always helps absorb sound but less people is a plus. 

“I believe this is the most fun I’ve had in quite some time.” 

“I’m glad. And you helped me win twice the amount I normally do so I am going to get not only more food and other stuff but a few extra stabilizing units for the power source so hopefully I don’t have to replace it every few days.” She turns the corner and away from the ship. “Will you be staying here or you wanna come back on the run with me?”

“Well…” Loki pulls his hands behind his back and inhales. “I don’t think this planet particularly suits me and you are good company.”

“Good company?” Loki laughs at her wriggling eyebrows. “I’m glad.”

“I’m sure you are.”

“Let us shop and then we shall go, my liege.”

Taglist:

@tarynkauai

[desdemonafictional]

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (pt 5)

continuation of Choko’s October People

pt. 1

The sounds of the calliope are the first sign that the carnival is waking up for the night, the lazy reel of the starlight song drifting over the sleeping ferris and down between the trailers, until it crawls beneath Edgar’s door and startles him into wakefulness. He gives his misty reflection a long, thoughtful look. Today is going to be different. Today, he’s going to make this place yield for him.

Sharktooth appears in the doorway as Edgar is pulling on his jacket. He doesn’t know what it is about this place, but it clearly does not want him to have shirts. Twice now he has had to hunt down and coax the shirt he came here in out of the mouths of carnival beasts. He doesn’t wear the clothes he arrived in anymore, but he doesn’t feel right if he doesn’t know precisely where they are, tucked underneath his thin mattress like the pelt of a selkie.

“I’ve got an idea for the box,” Sharktooth says.

He is not quite in the doorway, not quite outside of it, shadowed by the glow of the rolling blue fog. His buttons gleam.

“Oh do you?” Edgar says. When he turns, it takes a moment for the showman’s eyes to disengage from his chest.

“Yeah—” his gaze finally snaps up. “I wanna do the three magic breaths routine. I need somebody to practice with.”

Edgar points to a chain of pearls hanging from the vanity beside Sharktooth, who is helpful enough to pass them over. Bits and bobs of jewelry are still appearing in his room, and he knows that Johnny is leaving them here, although why he pretends like he isn’t… isn’t entirely clear. Edgar loops this one around his throat and turns back to his guest, who seems to swallow dryly.

He was right. Today is going to be different.

“Okay,” Edgar says, and holds out his hand. “Show me.”

.

Edgar is up in the Black Ferris, shouting answers down to Tenna  as she grills him about the mechanics of its enormous spider heart, when he spots Sharktooth climbing the platform up towards them.

“Hey!” he shouts. “Tenna! Let me borrow the canary for a minute.”

Edgar leans out over the edge and peers down at them.

“Aww,” Tenna says, “come on, I’m not done with him. Wait your turn.”

“Fuck that,” Sharktooth says, “he wants to come with me. Isn’t that right, Vargas?”

Edgar looks from one to the other. He cannot help but be amused by the poorly concealed eagerness on Sharktooth’s face, and by the visible sulk on Tenna’s.

“Just give us five minutes,” Edgar says. “I’ll be right with you.”

.

In the doorway, breathless and almost glowing with excitement— “I had an idea,” Sharktooth says. “Come practice with me.”

.

In a clatter of chain, Sharktooth pushes back the curtain to the changing room, catching Edgar by the wrist before he can protest, tugging him out half dressed into the night—

.

A chill hand, an urgent pace, the glow and whirl of the carnival all around them as they duck beneath banners and through alleys—

.

“I gotta admit,” Sharktooth says, almost wistfully, “you’re a natural.”

Edgar holds out his wrists for the clasp of silver manacles, trying not to let the stutter of his breathing show as those cool, restless fingers grip his skin.

.

Edgar pauses, as he notices the crowd of carnies gathered in a mill around the turnstiles. It’s unusual to see so many of them in one place, let alone up at the front. He catches Cleo’s eye, and ducks closer.

“What’s going on?” he asks her.

“Bossman’s due back any time now,” she tells him, in her exhausted monotone, blowing and popping an enormous bubble.

Nny? It’s true Edgar hasn’t seen him in a few days, but that’s not entirely unusual. He is an inscrutable creature, coming and going at his own pleasure.

Because it seems to be the thing to do today, Edgar waits by the ticket booth until at last the crowd starts to churn with excitement, pushing each other out of the way to lean over the turnstiles.

“Shoo!” the familiar voice comes, barely audible over the ruckus. “Get back, you animals.”

As the crowd skitters back, Edgar catches sight at last of Johnny pushing through, chin sunk into the lapels of his coat. With a scowl, he reels back a knee and kicks the backside of a slower moving body. At his heels, there is a little red wagon loaded up with a teetering stack of odds and ends, plastic and glass.

“Can you greedy little monsters at least attempt to do this with some class?” he demands, reaching into the lining of his coat and removing a long sheet of what appears to be a shopping list. “Okay,” he calls out, “who asked for the sea monkeys?”

Edgar watches as item by item, Nny parcels out his hoard of modern luxuries to dozens of delighted hands. As the crowd clears out, Nny looks up from his work and lights on Edgar.

“Oh!” he says, and breaks into a smile. “Of course, for our precious Edgar-Edgar-Vargas. I have a little something for you too.”

From inside of his heavy coat, Nny draws out and spreads several paperback books like a deck of oversized cards. Edgar literally does not understand where he was keeping them. Nny trots over to him, flashing one cover after another, and then pushing them into his hands in one messy stack.

“These were out on the display shelf,” he says, “I figure that must mean they’re popular.”

Edgar gives him a tentative smile. “I’m afraid I’m at a bit of a disadvantage here,” he says. “I haven’t got anything to trade you.”

Nny scoffs and flicks his wrist. “You’re one of us now,” he says, “you just do what the others do. A button or something.”

Edgar blinks as Nny reaches into his deep pockets and draws up a handful of pale stones and chipped buttons, one or two yellow teeth. He pushes his open hand out at Edgar, who—helplessly—pats down the sheer clothing that the trunk in his tent has provided him, in search of something useful. At his wrist he finds the tiny white button and pops it free with his teeth, gently laying it on top of Nny’s peculiar hoard.  

“There we go,” Nny says. He grins, and Edgar can’t help but return the smile. He looks down again, at the stack of paperbacks.

“Wait,” he says, “is this a library barcode—?”

.

“Magic words,” Edgar repeats, doubtful.

“Magic words!” Tenna says, leaning in towards him.

They are helping the strongmen move the coffin of the woman who sleeps like the dead, an ice block in which the flutter of her dreaming eyelids is visible to the delight of the crowds. Edgar is in charge of holding doors open for them.

“If magic is that easy,” Edgar says, thinking of the chains and the deep, of prestidigitation, “then why do any of you walk anywhere? Why do you use that wrench on the ferris?”

Tenna rubs her hands together. “I’m ready for this one,” she says. “You know how it costs more money to send something rush through the postal service than to send it regular?”

“Yes?”

“It’s like that.”

Edgar considers it for a moment. “How do you know what the postal service is?”

“Oh,” Tenna says, “and I bet you think I don’t know what a telegram is either. Or a range stove. Get a load of mister modern over here, thinks he invented the talkies.”

“I literally can’t tell if you’re saying old things to make fun of me, or if you actually think it’s 1930,” Edgar says.

“Please,” Tenna says. “Like I’ve ever known what number year it is.”

One by one the pall-bearers leap over a wooded post fallen across the pathway, causing Tenna’s feet to swing merrily against the side of the ice.

“So… what kind of magic words are we talking?” Edgar asks her.

“Let’s say you want to put people to sleep in an instant,” Tenna says, tapping the icy coffin upon which she is currently seated. “There’s a word for that. Want me to teach you?”

Edgar gives the crew a surreptitious glance. “Alright,” he says.

Tenna leans down and taps her lips with her finger. “Trrdigl’yaie,” Tenna says, slowly, somehow pronouncing several letters that should not ever sit next to each other on the tongue.

“…Teriggly,” Edgar says.

Tenna laughs so hard that she topples right off the top of the ice coffin, landing on her back in the sawdust with her legs kicking in delight, as the strongmen bear their cargo away into the night.

.

“What is Nny to you?” Edgar asks.

He is suspended by his wrists above the swirling tank, trying his best to hook his foot under the rope floating across its surface without having his ankle bitten off by Rahab, who is as fond of him as Tenna and nearly as intent on taking a sampling for taste. Below him, Sharktooth’s marker squeaks off the glass in a distressed scribble.

“What’s he to you?”

The rope bobs under the pressure of Edgar’s toe. “Well,” he says. “Sometimes I think of him as my friend, and sometimes I think of him as my captor, and sometimes I think of him as a…”

Sharktooth leans his whole weight onto his forearm, scrubbing off the stray marking with his sleeve. His face is bare today, the first time Edgar has seen it for more than a moment at a time. Without the camouflage of skeletal paint his face is strikingly open, with bright, expressive eyes—something he seems to compensate for by squinting a lot.

“A what?” he says.

“Let’s leave it at ‘keeper’,” Edgar answers, flushing a bit.

Sharktooth pulls back and squints at him, his disconcertingly pale lids low over his bright eyes.

“You’re close with him, aren’t you?” Edgar says. “I mean, as much as anyone can be.” The loop of rope slides at last over his foot, and he kicks it over the edge of the tank, down to Sharktooth, who catches it in his hand.

“Not a single non shitty thing ever happened to me,” Sharktooth says, “not one, until I met him.”

“Did he try to eat you too?”

Sharktooth digs the heel of his palm into his clavicle, just above his heart. His expression flickers, bare brows creasing. “What’s up with the interrogation?” he asks.

Edgar swings, trying to get enough momentum to touch the ledge of the tank. Long term, he’s hoping to get fit enough that he can curl up and hook his legs around the chain, he thinks that would be kind of cool, especially if Sharktooth will actually teach him how to pick these locks. He thinks he’s like…. Four more passive aggressive hints away from getting there.

“I guess—” Edgar says, straining and missing the ledge, “—I never know what it means when he like… gives me things? Touches me?”

“He touches you?” Sharktooth demands.

“Uh—” This swing brings him a little closer. He touches down and strains to keep his footing, one heel over the side. “Yeah—in my bedroom mostly, when he comes to visit—shit, Jesus, I misjudged this—actually he’s very sweet, I wasn’t expecting him to be so—oh god damn it.”

As his toes splash back down into the water, Rahab gives the surface an interested look.

Edgar blows out a puff of air. “Like I said,” he finishes, using his arm to push his hair off his forehead, “I just don’t know how serious it is. Can you let me down from here?”

The strain on his shoulders disappears, and for a half second he is stunned by the feeling of free fall, the shock of his feet hitting water—and then he is on the ground, disoriented, breathing hard. “You could have just lowered me down with the pulley,” he says, a hand squeezed over his pumping heart.

“It’s serious,” Sharktooth says.

Edgar looks up, a cold feeling coming over him as surely as if he’d been dropped in altogether. Sharktooth is watching him with the grimmest expression Edgar has ever seen on him, all the more for being twisted into his naked features.

“Oh,” Edgar says. “Should I be—should I be worried?”

Shartooth’s lip twitches down. “If anyone should be worried, it’s probably him. You’re about as inevitable as quicksand.”

Edgar makes a face. “Thanks? I think?”

“Ain’t my fuckin call to make,” Sharktooth mutters, more to himself than Edgar it seems like. He turns and uncaps the marker again, picking up where he left off on the intricate pattern of the incantation circle.

“I gotta set up for the show,” he says. “You better go.”

Feeling wrongfooted and uneasy, Edgar says, “I could help?”

Without turning, Sharktooth says, “You’ll help yourself, I’m sure.”

[xluckytheninjax]

Some interesting game stuff

Taking a look at games I play,the amount of hours I played more specifically.It’s real interesting,but nothing to brag about in comparison to others,who have spent more than a 1000 hours on some games.i haven’t gotten there yet,as I stay at my grandparents during the day and got the games way after release.

It isn’t even that big a collection of games,since I’m real picky with ‘em,and since they’re really expensive with South African currancy.

Call of Duty:Black ops {1} : 77 minutes - I only played zombie mode and had to eventually uninstall the game to create storage space.

Fallout 3 : 10 hours - I played it for a bit,finished the first DLC,then had to back it up and uninstall it to create storage space.Originally I wanted to just reinstall the game on my other harddrive,but eeh.

Fallout New Vegas : 357 hours - The one I always bragged about,and I still love and play.Never have I finished the game.I’ve modded it to hell,and it’s broken,still amusing to play.It does crash a lot though,and I even got my dad to buy the game for himself.Old World Blues,here I come.

Fallout 4 : 423 hours - The thing I play a lot of these days,building, and crashing my game.It’s competing with Sims at this point.I enjoy running around ignoring the main story line with my companions and building shacks across the Commonwealth.

Gmod : 49 hours - I had to originally move this to my other harddrive because of the amount of addons I have wasting a ton of space.Not as fun to play without pals,apart from one or two maps,and I lot of zombie saves.

Just Cause 3 : More than 41 hours - The reason I say more,is because of the time I played offline when our internet was being weird.I played this again the other day,and I still love it.I don’t bother with questing,I just go blow up stuff and make it real hard for the bad guys.

Left 4 Dead 2 : 3 hours - The three hours of me and my dad playing the game together.I actually enjoy the game,it’s fun.The carnival map was the first one we played,and the zombie clowns were terrifying.Been thinking of playing again.

Life is Strange : 77 minutes - I played for a while,and eventually ditched it.Not for any bad reasons though.Other games just took my eyes off a game I know I’ll cry playing.Had to move it to another harddrive.

Metro 2033 Redux and Metro Last Light Redux : 0 minutes - I haven’t played the games yet,but I bought ‘em on sale.I’ve see nthat it’s pretty difficult,and thus I cannot wait to play it when I am not distracted by other games.

South Park: The Stick of Truth: 11 hours - One single playthrough,two more missions {Beat up Clyde and deafeat Princess Kenny}. I love the game,it’s hilarious.Though I should say there were some parts that scarred me.

South Park: The Fractured But Whole : 12 hours - I’ve also played this a lot since I got it.Again,one single playthrough.I’m at the police station mission,and I destroyed Jared.Also pretty damn funny,and I will do all the side quests before the end of the game.Can’t wait for the DLC.

Undertale : 5 hours - I played this on both my PC and laptop.Two playthroughs,one for my own,one to amuse my cousin {silly voices yee}.Great game,though I suck at not getting hit during battle.

Watch Dogs : 22 hours - At some point I played this a lot,but ditched it because I felt like I’m running through the game too fast.Love the game,though it runs like AC with hacking and guns.Got murdered too many times trying to take out gangs.Aiden’s putting the only family he has left in danger because he’s a stubborn asshole.

Watch Dogs 2 : 31 hours - The greatest game ever.I ditched it because I was at the last mission,and I don’t want to end the game.I want to go do all the side missions,and get all the money bags,components,guns and reasearch stuff.I love all the characters and their relationships with one another.I’ll avenge Wrench Jr.

Minecraft : ?? Hours - I honestly spent too much time on this game.I can tell you it’s over a 100 hours,since I play it a lot of the laptop {The laptop is old,and apart from Sims which it can barely run and Undertale,MC is the only game that can run on it}.I create AUs and OCs from this blocky game labelled as ‘cringey’ and honestly,it’s the root of my love for writing.

Sims 4 : 428 hours - One of the games I play the most.I have over 7000 custom content things in the mod folder and I ain’t going back to the time without mods/cc.I’ve also created so many characters in this game,and turned it into a zombie infested hellhole twice.It’s pretty damn great.

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate : 38 minutes - Screwed around after getting the game and after I got the first disc {It wasn’t in the box with the others,three days before I got the first installation disc}.I like it,it’s fun,but eh.I like the parkour and the characters.

Far Cry 4 : ?? hours - For some reason it won’t tell me how much I played,but I guess it’s over 10 hours at least.I really like the game,it’s really colorful and cool.Pagin Min is one of the coolest villains I have the pleasure to murder eventually and I love just running around and doing the eaxct same as I do in Just Cause,making it real hard for the bad people.

Far Cry Primal : 11 hours - Another game I love.I love that you have the ability to tame animals that help you in battle,and the game also looks pretty.The quests annoy me sometimes,but hey,every game has annoying quests.I love sniping people with my bow,and sending the animals to attack.I also found out that the guy I like plays the game so ye.

That is literally it.I have more games,but all of ‘em are old school ‘Only playable on Windows XP’ games.There are also a lot more games I want to play,and which I can’t wait for,and there are also games I want to play,but they’re Playstation 4 exclusive {which sucks} like The Last Guardian,Uncharted 4 and Lost Legacy annnnd Days Gone.I sepnd a lot of my life playing games,and I don’t care that I’ll never get those hours back.

[amorningshadeofyellow-blog]

Suggestion O’Clock

As February ends and March begins, here’s a reflection of some things I’ve been listening to and watching. Everybody needs suggestions, take them as you need.

Music: I am a firm believer in Spotify’s Discover Weekly playlists which automatically update themselves based on your listening patterns and what not. The BEST place to go for some handpicked tunes. However, here are a few I’ve come to love the past month.

• The Neighbourhood’s Hard To Imagine EP: Unlike the last three works they’ve put out, Hard To Imagine is something all it’s own. Very far from I Love You and Wiped Out!, HTI is full of songs that definitely reach outside of the usual boundaries they’d set for themselves. Though I am not a fan of the EP in its entirety, there are a few songs that make it worthwhile. ‘Void’ being in the top spot with that one lyric, “Wonder how I got by this week, only touched you once.” Just feels so smooth. Following in no definite order are Scary Love, Nervous (which dropped 5 days ago), You Get Me So High, and Roll Call. Honorable mention to 24/7 and Sadderdaze- both catchy, but in a way that will get old really fast. If there’s such a thing as dishonorable mention, Dust takes that. I could have gone the whole album without that.

• Sufjan Stevens- Visions of Gideon: Top Spot for WEEKS in the category of “Songs That Will Ruin My Day”. This is one of the most gutwrenching songs for me. So pretty, so smooth, so full of feeling. Sufjan is an artist that has definitely made more waves since the Call Me By Your Name soundtrack’s Oscar nomination he got for “Mystery of Love.” I hate to say that the Academy was wrong, but picking that over Visions of Gideon was nothing but wrong. Seriously, listen to this and tell me you didn’t cry.

• Viola Beach- Call You Up: The song I want to montage videos of myself dancing on a beach at sunset with a bottle of wine to. Definitely that annoying indie sounding voice, but it works for this. Lyrics you’d find in the diary of young people in some summer love. “I’ll call you up in the middle of the night in hopes that you want to hear from me. I just wanna know if you’re feeling alright.” It’s just so CATCHY you just gotta sway your head and hips and close your eyes when you sing it. Has a beachy feel. One of those in the middle sort of songs. Not a breakup song, not a love song. Takes a seat on the harshly drawn middle line. Just give it a listen, I can’t stop playing it in my car because it’s impossible to not sing along to.

• Manchester Orchestra- Colly Strings. I don’t know what they are, but I know this song makes me perform power house vocals in the shower. Definitely something the singer wrote to be specific to himself, but still vague enough to feel like it relates. Simple, heavily lyric focused, not technically impressive at all. Just really plain, but I love it. Listen to this on drives home. “CONFESSEDLY, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IVE LOVED YOU AND GOD, I MEAN IT. GOD, I MEAN IT. I HOPE THAT I MEAN IT. CAUSE LIKE DIANE YOUNG, IDOLS GET THE BEST OF ME. WELL, DONT STOP CALLING- YOURE THE REASON I LOVE LOSING SLEEP.” a... slammer. A true indie king. Strange that I’ve never liked Manchester Orchestra’s other songs.

• The Last Shadow Puppets- Miracle Aligner: IN CASE YOU ARENT AWARE, Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys is the front man of this band. Basically, its Arctic Monkeys music under a different band name. TLSP had Sweet Dreams, Tennessee which I learned about a summer or so ago and loved. How I never found Miracle Aligner baffles me. It’s got that same AM vibe that most of Alex Turner’s work does. Feels a bit like a background song for a 60’s feel good family show. This one’s upbeat for his fashion, but I dig it. Alex Turner is the man I’ve always wanted to meet. I cannot believe he is real. I’ve been convinced he’s sincerely an enigma.

• From the Dining Table- Harry Styles: OKAY, I know it‘s overdue. I didn’t give much listen to Harry’s album because it mimics so many British rock classics so closely that I just.. I didn’t want to. And I’m the biggest one direction stan alive. Sometimes, I cringe at the lyrics. Aside from that, it’s a song I’d fall asleep to and that’s why I like it. It’s something I would sing to put someone to sleep. After a minute and a half we can stop the song because the third verse/bridge/ whatever is so close to resembling Over the Rainbow in my head. Just throw it on your playlist if you’ve not already. I’m sure almost everyone has.

• Jamie T- Magnolia Melancholia: I AM SO MANY THINGS AFTER THIS SONG. First off, Jamie T has been around for a few years, and I’ve always liked some of his stuff. Don’t You Find, and Zombie were two that I definitely was like, huh, this is new. He’s one of those British singers that really actually sounds British. Most of it’s a little more spoken than sung. Anyway, outside of this- magnolia melancholia is very different compared to his other music. Almost similar to Dont You Find, but it’s the only thing close. The song is sincerely just so impactful to me because of the lyrics, but I think it’s a good song overall to have. Like I said, different. “Nice to meet ya, boy, I know your mama knows. I fell in love with her seven thousand summer ago. I was a runner, boy,” just something I think he stripped from my diary and made his own. Definitely really excited to have seen his name come back on my screen and feel something so personal and nostalgic. Really think he’s an underrated artist.

Films: Of course, it’s March when I’m writing this, so the Oscars have come and gone. However, Oscar nominees or not- these are the films I’ve seen, loved, and suggest.

• The Shape of Water- Winner of Best Picture, The Shape of Water is obviously something you look at and say, “Hm, I should probably see that.” TSOW is insanely creative, but there should be nothing less expected from its director. Following a black woman, gay man, and a mute woman’s romance with an amphibian man- it’s definitely up there in terms of diversity. In short, the feel of the film and its tenderness paired with intrinsic visual detail is stimulating in a multitude of ways. You leave the theater feeling something.

• Black Panther- I would literally pay the first person who reads this and hasn’t seen Black Panther $20. I’m pretty sure it’s like... the top grossing movie ever at this point. If you don’t care for superhero movies, just go for the complete bad-assery. And Michael B Jordan. Who I don’t think is a great actor, but I do find him almost as gorgeous as Lupita.

• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri: Another Oscar nominee. Frances McDormand who plays the lead took home best actress while supporting actor went to her co star Sam Rockwell. Really, in all honesty, the thing that I think about when I explain the film is the character arc they gave San Rockwell’s character. Watching this man grow and change throughout the film was impressive both in the acting and the writing.

• Hostiles- ROSAMUND PIKE BEING A BADASS COLONIAL WOMAN!! CHRISTIAN BALE HAVING A GOOD HEART!!! SWEET ENDINGS!!!

• Atonement- Look, I’m just asking you to go on Netflix and add this to your Watch List for an afternoon when you’re laying in bed and want to cry. James McAvoy and Natalie Portman, a heart wrenching love story during war time, but still far more than that.

• The Warriors- We Love A Good 70/80’s film, and this is what that was. Based around gangs and a journey back home, this is full of companionship, unity, wit, and lots and lots of leather vests. (prime)

• Wonderstruck- Ultimately a feel good film that is unlike any other. Complex story line, wonderful depiction, just creative and free. Feels so sweet to see something so pure.

• Captain Fantastic- okay, everything I’ve deemed “creative” is subpar when it comes to Captain Fantastic. Surrounding the theme of family, mental illness, and exclusion- the film depicts a family living off grid with their dad after losing their mother to depression, the following days are full of humorous and heartfelt feats as they attempt to attend their mothers funeral despite the grandfathers wishes. The complete disconnect between the modern world and the world this family lives in puts them at no sort of disadvantage, and the theme of unity and pride of where you come from shines through.

• Blade Runner 2049- Rewatched it. Felt so happy to have my eyes glued to a screen. Genuinely equivalent to being induced into a coma because you’re not leaving your seat. And if you haven’t seen the original Blade Runner- do yourself and Harrison Ford a favor.

• Honorable Mention to Lady Bird, CMBYN, Dunkirk, Phantom Thread, and The Florida Project all of which will be included in an “Oscars in Review” post I have queued for next week

As far as music and movies go, that is a slight look into some of the things February and March have brought thus far. For every time Lauren needs a suggestion, I feel as though it’s necessary to compile a list for whoever else may need it.

[slamsams-blog]

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service - #24WeeksofBond

1969 certainly must’ve been a wild time.  For the first time ever, Bond lovers and general movie goers were to go see a Bond movie starring the first “new Bond”.  After 5 movies, Sean Connery simply had enough with the character, the franchise, and the main producer Albert “Cubby” Broccoli.  So how in the world do you step into a role that had been created and branded into the minds of the fans by Sean Connery?  Why even carry on the series without Sean Connery?  I wonder what people thought of the concept of a “new Bond” back then?  Now a days, it’s a right of passage.  We all know that an actor playing Bond has a shelf life, and that they will eventually leave the role only to be replaced by another.  In today’s world, for Bond fans, this moment can be a very exciting thing.  While I LOVE Daniel Craig, I am very anxious to find out who will replace him.  But back in 1969, the thought of a new actor to come in and just carry on the role like nothing happened?  There must have been tons of criticism, skepticism and curiosity.

Enter George Lazenby, the man with the distinction of being the first “new Bond”.  Lazenby was a legit no-name with a care-free, “fly by the seat of your pants” personality.  He was a male model who only got into modeling because someone thought he had the look for it and gave him an opportunity - so he went and did it.  Then the role of Bond came along, and with Lazenby’s natural good looks and cavalier attitude - Lazenby literally just walked into the audition room un-announced and told the directors that they were looking at the man they needed.  Lazenby got the part.  Those actors who had their 2 contrasting 3 minute monologues ready were probably furious.

Back in the day when my brother and my best friend were playing “Goldeneye” on the N64 non-stop, and learning about Bond and all it’s history and the previous actors that came before Brosnan - we had learned that there was a guy who only did one movie.  We didn’t know the man’s name back then, so we always referred to him as “Zachary Dumbhead” when discussing Bond.  As funny of an anecdote that is to me, I must say that Lazenby deserves a little more respect than that.  This was a tough position to be in.

Lazenby may look a bit goofy, and his undercover role of Sir Hilary Bray doesn’t do anything for his overall bravado - but Lazenby plays the role of Bond with a sense of fearlessness and charm, much like how I imagine he was in real life.  

Also, nobody throws a harder punch than Lazenby. Sheesh!  

I simply cannot imagine Connery playing Bond here, especially given how pivotal this Bond movie is to the rest of the series before they hit the reset button with Daniel Craig.  I just don’t think Connery could’ve convinced Bond lovers that he was legitimately in love.  A fresh take on the role would’ve made it easier to buy into the love between Bond and his soon to be wife Contessa Terese di Vincezo (Diana Rigg) or Tracy as she would be known in the film.

I love Lazenby and Rigg’s chemistry, I think these two pull off a believable performance despite their off screen distain for each other.  Yes, it is widely known that Diana Rigg did not care for Lazenby’s childish attitude and over confidence and it created friction while filming.  There is a pretty famous story of Diana Rigg purposely eating food with lots of onion and garlic right before their love scenes so her breath would stink.  If you have time to watch the documentary “Becoming Bond” I suggest you do that - it’s pretty much a doc on Lazenby.

Let’s talk about this plot, this strange, fear of chickens curing plot.  This movie starts out with Bond bailing out who we would come to know as Tracy on a couple of occasions.  Saving her from her trying to drown herself (I think?) and giving her financial help when she blows it at the casino.  We come to find out she is the daughter of the European, generic brand version of Blofeld named Draco (Gabriele Ferzetti).  He brings Bond to his office in forcible fashion and tells him that he’ll give him a million pounds if he marries Tracy.  Bond is like huh?  Bond thinks about the offer because Draco has connections to Blofeld himself, and if he got some info he just might go along with it.

Tracy sniffs this out right away and forces her papa to give Bond the info he desires, so he does.  But here’s the twist, Bond still pursues Tracy...not because she has any other info on Blofeld (which is Bond’s only thing he looks for in a mate) but because he just has an infatuation with her.  So then we see a montage of the typical things two people do while discovering a love for one another...riding horses, sitting by fountains, and what not.  2 minutes of Louie Armstrong later, and boom, they’re officially in love...at least she is.  But now it’s time to work.

Bond follows the lead given to him by Draco and finds where Blofeld is and finds out that Blofeld is bringing a genealogist up to his location to dub him as a count.  Who knows why...Bond meets the man who is supposed to go meet him and quickly learns all there is to know about the subject and comes up with an uncanny impersonation of him.

This is where “OHMSS” really starts getting weird.  We take a break from Bond’s love story with Tracy to go to the Swiss alps where Bond or “Sir Hilary Bray” is to meet Blofeld.  But in doing so, he discovers that he is housing a harem of women to try and cure their allergies by making them eat their allergies for dinner and hypnotizing them every night.  The real plan being that Blofeld is designing a virus to halt all crops from growing and using the girls to distribute the virus.  Of course the ladies love the new man on the block and Bond has a few encounters after-hours.  You sure know how to pick em Tracy!

The odd thing about this is the fact that Blofeld doesn’t recognize Bond right away.  Maybe it’s the Superman effect, where instead of glasses being the difference between Superman and Clark Kent - it’s a Kilt being the difference between James Bond and Sir Hilary Bray - who knows?  Blofeld finds out it’s Bond, not because it’s so obviously Bond, but because he made a tiny slip in the details of the history of his ancestors.  What a Sherlock.

Bond’s discovered, and escapes by ski and some entertainingly bad green screen work and bumps into Tracy again who saves him from the bad guys where they finally escape in a horse barn where they will spend the night.  This is where Bond finally confesses his love for Tracy and asks her to marry him.  I think this scene is beautiful and both actors do a wonderful job.  It’s so simplistic, spontaneous and romantic.  

The bad guys catch up, Tracy gets captured after being swallowed up by an avalanche and Bond goes against M’s wishes and enlists the help of Draco and his henchmen to storm the castle and destroy Blofeld’s headquarters.  This complete with an iconic shot of Bond sliding over the ice on his stomach, gun in hand, and shooting the villains.  Great stuff.  But more horrible green screen work to follow.  Bond catches up to Blofeld during a bob sled chase and hangs him up in the branches.  The objective seems to be complete.

The final scene is where Bond gets married, and as they are driving away, Blofeld and his hench-women Irma Bunt drive by and shoot at Bond, killing Tracy in the process.  Say what you want about Lazenby’s performance, but his final dialogue to the cop about Tracy is heart wrenching.  Lazenby does a fantastic job grieving the loss of his newlywed, and this would be one of the only consistent pieces of Bond’s backstory that we hear throughout the rest of the series.

OHMSS is a good Bond flick, although it is a bit odd with the plot, the unusual casting choice of Telly Savalas as Blofeld, and Lazenby’s random insertion in the role - it is a very important piece of the Bond puzzle and up until Daniel Craig, we don’t see Bond this full of raw emotion ever again.  It also has lots of fun callbacks to the previous five films with the gadgets he pulls out of his desk, the janitor whistling “Goldfinger”, and even Bond saying before the title sequence “This never happened to the other fellow”, which makes Bond theorists believe that James Bond is just the name given to the man who holds the 007 number.  I’m sure it was just there to call out the elephant in the room and break the ice with the skeptical audience.

As important as this film is to the series this is not one of my favorites given a lot of factors that just bother me.  Lazenby does a hell of a job, but he simply just did not care for the real life Bond lifestyle which caused him to break from the role.  Lazenby was told to present himself as Bond where ever he went to keep the mystique alive, but at the premier, Lazenby showed up with long hair and beard and did not please the studio execs.  Lazenby was just too care-free to be a celebrity, but he does admit that he wished he had knocked some sense into himself back then as it could have made him for the rest of his life.  Instead, he is just a blip on the radar and you have to wonder how the next film would’ve have done with Lazenby at the helm.

We will never know.

That’s all for me, hope you enjoyed it tonight!  Let me know your thoughts!

Reviews from Friends:

My Mom

I’ve decided it’s really hard to follow a high action film like 007 s in two parts. Started it late last night and fell asleep somewhere in the Swiss alps while watching a group of girls getting hypnotized. Who knows maybe I was drawn in to the relaxation technique. Tonight I resumed so it really lost some luster. This James Bond never really filled the role for me. He was kind of sweaty and goofy. Not the cool calm character he is supposed to be. The chases were fun from the Volkswagen bug to the horse drawn sleigh to the bobsled scene. Not to mention the harrowing ski chases amid avalanches. Wow. And of all the choices this girl was THE ONE for James? I did get a better perspective though after reading your review Sam. You are a very detailed critic. Great evaluation.

Dan Perch

Love the review!! Admittingly It took me a long time to watch OHMSS because lack of interest in George Lazenby. However, when I came around to it I fell in love with the movie! It was So (not so) subtly over the top throughout the whole movie. Lazenby was actually pretty good throughout, and certainly had some cringing lines “call me Hilly”😬 haha! From the sweet 1960’s villain pad, the way he smokes his cigarettes, and how he manages to stunningly excel in all winter sports, Telly as Blofeld is my favorite of all time!! (That bobsled gif had me rolling laughing😂 cinematic gold!) He finds a way to ‘best’ Bond at absolutely everything in this one (strong booking) then right when you think Bond goes over... what an ending! Lazenby delivers that line, and the credits start to roll, Had me speechless! One of my favorite movies from the 1960s Telly was the man!

Jake Benrud

LOL. I forgot all about "Zachary Dumbhead". I honestly have never watched this whole movie. Or at least, I didn't remember it. The plot is strange with the hypnotized girls releasing bioterrorism agents. If I were Blofeld, I would have invested in a helicopter to chase down Bond after he escaped instead of going skiing after him myself. Just a thought. There's a lot I didn't know about George Lazenby until I did some searching on him recently. Apparently he never signed a contract during the whole filming of this movie. Unreal. He also didn't want to play ball with the studio with maintaining the look of "James Bond" outside of work after filming. Interesting guy. Devastating ending to the movie, but we all knew that 007 the playboy couldn't stay married for long.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

You Only Live Twice

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Top 10 Board Games We Secretly Hate

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Top 10 Board Games We Secretly Hate

Everyone loves board games, right? Right? I mean, we all have fond memories of playing with our kids, parents, Uncles, Aunts and friends, don’t we? Actually, when you stop and think about it, you probably didn’t like playing board games as much as you thought. Now, it is all coming back. A nice, friendly game that you thought would last about 30 minutes took 3-hours and becomes as competitive as skating for a medal in Olympic Figure Skating. Well, now that I’ve stirred up childhood trauma you thought you had buried long ago, we might as well take a look at the top ten board games you secretly hate, well, not so secretly anymore.

10. Candy Land

The Good: The game teaches color recognition and matching while reinforcing the lesson of taking turns and being a gracious winner or loser.

The Bad: This is basically a game of pure chance, which means there is a very real possibility you will lose to your 3-year-old without you intentionally throwing the game. Sure, you want your kid to win, but on your terms. As a thirty-something adult, your life is going downhill fast enough and the last thing your self-confidence needs is a can of butt-whup opened by someone whose diaper you were changing this morning. Even worse, you could lose by a considerable margin if you get lost in Lollipop Woods or stuck in Molasses Swamp. Gramma Nutt may not be there to save you. And can we please change her name to something more palatable, no pun intended. My advice: Never play a game with a child, unless you are guaranteed to win.

The Ugly: After your toddler beats you for the third time getting any respect from them will be near impossible and your road to parenting just detoured into the Gooey Gumdrops.

9. Stratego

The Good: Stratego is a unique blend of strategy, memorization, and unit management.

The Bad: What better way to teach your child the horrors of war than with some plastic pawns that are given a numeric value. The game says it teaches strategy. I say it teaches you to sacrifice the weak so the strong may survive. A cruel but universal truth. For example, you send a scout forward and he lands on a bomb; no problem because you can send the miner to disarm it. Heartlessly you then send another scout to his death, finding another bomb so the General can move forward. Callous and indifference are the lessons learned here on the scorched cardboard that used to be a peaceful evenly spaced grid.

The Ugly: You child takes a real interest in explosives after seeing how simple it is to disarm a bomb in Stratego.

8. Chutes & Ladders

The Good: This delightful game is simple and easy to play, even for children who can’t read.

The Bad: This game teaches the way life really works, which is good. But learning those hard lessons before you have all your baby teeth is a bit stressing on a child. Just like in life, you move forward trying to get to the ladder (of success?) and you move up; then before you know it you are back where you started when the chute gets you, and you’re wondering where the last 5 years of your life went. I mean, what the heck is going on? Yeah, you’re going down a chute now, buddy, except the chute, is a set of steps leading down to your parent’s basement because you can’t roll a freakin’ 6 to get to the big ladder in the game of life…uh, I mean the game of Chutes & Ladders. Oh, and if you think you might actually win, well that’s when your kid hits the jackpot and takes the tallest ladder in the game and steals the victory. And now your self-esteem takes a chute.

The Ugly: Breaking the spirit of a child or adult is the large price to pay for 40 minutes of ups and down, mostly downs.

7. Operation

The Good: Operation is the classic skill and action game where you’re the doctor!

The Bad: I’ll skip the over the disconcerting open body cavities “Sam the patient” is exposing to your family, but the medical misinformation is reprehensible. Let’s face it, children aren’t smart and they are impressionable. What if they think we really have rubber bands and miniature horses in our bodies. Didn’t we tell our children not to eat rubber bands…but now Sam has one in his leg?

And, my God, the pressure! Asking our little Sally to remove a broken heart has to be traumatizing. But wait, there’s more, don’t touch the sides or you will get “buzzed” and poor Sam will die. Life and death, it is your child’s call.

I guess Milton Bradley also didn’t take into account a child’s underdeveloped motor skills when designing this pressure cooker of a game. And one more thing, shouldn’t we try to fix his heart, not remove it. What scary-a$did $ medical college we go to?

The Ugly: Whether your child wins or loses, they are an emotional and mental wreck for the next few days. Playing God with your patient on the surgery table will do that to a 6-year-old.

6. Battleship

The Good: You try to deduce where the enemy ships are and sink them.

The Bad: Another war game teaching the annihilation of your opponent. Of course, you will be teaching this lesson for a long time as they game is very long. There is a lot of open water in the game and actually hitting a battleship can take some time. Kind of like a demented Bingo game where you call out coordinates, Battleship isn’t high on action until the bloodlust hits after scoring a direct hit on your opponent’s battleship. Then all hell breaks loose as you take evil glee in sinking the ship and murdering men and women whose only crime was defending their country from likes of you. Hooray! Warfare was never so much fun! Let’s play again when we have 3 hours to “kill”, emphasis on the kill.

The Ugly: Just try coming down off the “high” of sending thousands to their watery grave. Good luck, Colonel Carnage.

5. Checkers

The Good: Two players square off against each other trying to jump the other’s colored discs until only one color remains on the checkered board.

The Bad: I thought racism was on the way out, but it appears Checkers will not let it die. Two separate color discs face off against each other, seeking the complete genocide of the other by literally jumping over the other to remove them from the face of the board. Where is the ideal of living in peaceful equality? Apparently, there isn’t enough room on the board for that, even with 64 squares. No, only one race of colored discs can survive in this apocalyptic analogy of our world. In the words of Jack Nicholson, “Can’t we all just get along?” No, Mr. Nicholson, we cannot. Now king me!

The Ugly: Don’t expect racial harmony and equality in our lifetime as long as Checkers, a game for hate-mongers and racists, is around.

4. Life

The Good: This classic family board game has been loved by generations. Just like your so-called “real life”, this game has paydays, marriages, babies, revenge, and chance.

The Bad: This game is just like your so-called real life. Isn’t the point of a game to let us take a break from real life. Why would I want to play a game that forces me to consider all the stressful decisions an 80-year life would include, but in just 2 hours? As a child, don’t I have enough peer pressure without adding the decision to get married, have children (how many children) and what the heck my career is going to be? I don’t know if I want McNuggets or a cheeseburger in my Happy Meal and now I have to decide whether or not I need Fire Insurance? How is this fun? And guess what, even if you finish the game of Life you still lose if you don’t have the most money. Greed is good according to Milton Bradley. This game teaches you that whoever dies with the most toys, does indeed win.

The Ugly: The game also teaches you about revenge, bankruptcy, and taxes. After playing this game you want to take your own “Life”.

3. Sorry

The Good: This classic game of luck, strategy, and determination is easy to grasp for children as young as 6 years old.

The Bad: This game is labeled as a game of sweet revenge. I can see it now, our nuclear family of Mom, Dad, Sister and Brother sitting down to a game of sweet revenge where all family ties are shattered, feelings are scorned and love gets sent back 3 spaces. The name of this game was aptly chosen as you will be sorry you ever played it. The only time the word “sorry” is uttered is with a sarcastic tone as your opponent (family member) sends back to your “home” base, alone to start over once again. Well, guess what, Mac, they ain’t sorry and they have learned that family means nothing when you are trying to get ahead. Thank you, Parker Brothers for destroying the family, one space at a time!

The Ugly: You will forever question the sincerity of any apology from your family members.

2. Clue

The Good: “Clue” is a game of deduction that the whole family can enjoy together.

The Bad: This game claims to teach deductive reasoning, and that is true and I applaud that notion, but Hasbro misses the fact that they are desensitizing our children to cold-blooded murder. Are we sure its good for little Jimmy to be fantasizing how a murder was accomplished? We are teaching the devaluation of life as we callously call out “It was Professor Plum in the kitchen with a lead pipe.” Does this sound like something we want our precious doe-eyed babes to be screaming at us? Oh, you may be thinking it instills moral values as the crimes are being solved, but think about this: With every wrong guess we are teaching them how easy it is to get away with murder in any room of a house and killing with a variety of household items. Murder isn’t a game, so why does Clue insist on treating it like it is?

The Ugly: You better hide your candlesticks, lengths of rope, lead pipes and wrenches after this unseemly game showcases the ease with which a life can be ended without worry of capture.

1. Monopoly

The Good: The game that teaches capitalism and big business.

The Bad: Let’s start with the fact that no one has actually ever finished a game of Monopoly. Oh sure, you have stopped playing because of starvation, sleep deprivation and most likely sheer hatred for the other players, you used to like before you started playing. But never did you finish a game. It’s impossible and much like a car accident, you can’t look away from the board. Boardwalk and the St. James Place look like nice places to visit, and the rest ain’t bad, but it will cost you your soul to stay. And no railroad can take you home, not even Reading Railroad. $200 is never enough and when you circle the board for the 800th time and you realize you are never getting out of the nightmare world of Monopoly. You can bet your sweet Marvin Gardens that you will think thoughts about you friends and family that will shock you.

“Did Uncle Joe just take and extra $50? He is the banker, he had the access and opportunity to do so.”

“Why am I in Jail again, life is so unfair, my brother should be in jail, not me…not me!”

“My stinkin’ brother owns Park Place, living it up while I’m dying slowly on Baltic Avenue, where is the justice?”

While these thoughts invades your mind it is now 3 am and no one is out of the game yet and the fun stopped 5 minutes after you started. Greed is good and power is everything and it will never end. No Chance, even when you land on Chance! And the game’s mascot, Rich Uncle Pennybags, isn’t the type of Uncle who lends you money and forgets about it. You’ll pay, brother. You…will…pay.

But other than the lust for money, lack of compassion for you fellow man as you force them to mortgage everything and the strain on you physically, emotionally and mentally, this game is great family fun.

The Ugly: It will be days before you speak to any fellow players from the last game. You will never trust or love the same again. And in the end, you still didn’t finish the game. Once you start a game of Monopoly, it never ends…even when it ends.