#Like actually go look at the stuff they do
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I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things arenât going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when itâs happy. Maybe Iâll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But Iâm thinking about the way Iâm thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.
In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasnât even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations Iâd had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didnât supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. Thatâs a real job you can do for almost five years. I didnât have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.
Those days werenât bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.
On 2016âs Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night beforeânot just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope Iâd had in human nature because now I didnât feel it anymore. Itâs almost silly when I think about itâso many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didnât think I was naive to thatâbut something clicked into place that morning.
It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, Iâd tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. Iâd written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: âGood is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.â
I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldnât be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didnât work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.
That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.
It doesnât feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if thatâs the grade it actually deserved. We hadnât been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Graceâs murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.
Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasnât interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.
I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trumpâs election in 2016 felt like that.
After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldnât kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, âwhat if I got into politics.â Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trumpâs inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.
Now itâs election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, thereâs Palestine. Meanwhile thereâs Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.
I donât think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in Novemberâ how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.
I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I donât know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naĂŻvetĂ© to the worldânot to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. Itâs not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynicâs pleasant surprise.
Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a personâs life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.
Iâm lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what Iâll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimistâs optimism: to a degree the election doesnât matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.
But please god please, why canât it be just a little easier to do it?
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Listen, having worked in university marketing, I am here to tell you that not all ads are evil or trying to deceive you. People work really hard at conveying precisely the information you need that will tell you if a product is for you.
There are people in advertising and marketing who are well aware of the laws about not deceiving customers and who think constantly about what they can provide evidence to claim, not making stuff up.
And yeah, they're trying to persuade you, but that doesn't automatically mean 'buy this piece of shit we're telling you is solid gold'. It means, 'we really believe in this, we have evidence that it's good and could be a great thing for you, but we need to find a way to tell you that and make you trust us' which takes a lot of thought.
And as a consumer there's a lot of stuff I just wouldn't know about if not for advertising. We need advertising to tell people there are solutions to problems, quality products, and fun things to get excited about.
Advertising isn't inherently BAD. And it's one of the few industries in which creative people can make a liveable wage with their art or writing.
The problem we have at the moment is that a lot of people with no training in making good ads, people who don't care about laws, or are based somewhere with less regulation, who are churning out annoying, misleading, not-accesdible garbage.
And these people aren't researching their audience and tailoring the content to people for whom its relevant. Instead a whole tech industry has grown up where people who know fuck all about marketing have companies that scrape and aggregate your data, who sell it to other tech companies that sell advertising space, which is bought up by yet another automated service that has been trained to get 'the best deal' for the company that wants to sell a product.
That's not how it works when you wanna make a useful ad. You should be doing customer research with your actual customers. Analysing the data you get to tailor both the advert and the advertising space.
But these automated systems talking to other automated systems don't do that.
Like, first off, the data is SHIT. It may not even differentiate content you noped out of from stuff you looked at for half an hour. And if it does, it treats all the content on the page equally. All the stuff you're ignoring is tagged as 'on sites this user spends a lot of time on'. Whereas human customer research, for which customers consent and usually receive some kind of reward, involves tracking eye movements, mouse movements, clicks, and an interview afterwards to ask what they were thinking about and why they stayed on one page over another. This is so much more helpful! It helps make content more useful to users and prevents wasted marketing effort.
But almost no one does it these days because, well, it's expensive. You gotta compensate the consumers you do your research with, design sensible things for them to test, have someone monitor and analyse what they do, and interview them after. That's very expensive compared to a bunch of lightning fast calculations that can all be automated. So companies don't pay to do it properly, and they don't actually tailor their ads to you, and they're not trying to be informative.
At best (and I can't stress enough how rare this is) ads that are based on this data and algorithms and/or machine learning deliver what will get you to look at the ad for longer or click the ad to go to a website. But if that means bright flashing colours and the world's tiniest 'x' so you can't actually close the ad without clicking through, these automated systems are designed to get you to do THAT, not buy the product.
Honestly, I know it sounds like I'm asking for sympathy for the devil, but I have seen this from the tech side, the marketing side, the researcher side, and the user doing the test. I have taken a course on content strategy and heard what academics in this field have to say, and it's honestly not evil. They're trying to adapt to an environment where you're constantly barraged with demands on your attention, so it is in the advertiser's best interest to be clear and tailored and not waste your time.
But unfortunately an awful lot of people have been sold on the idea that these automated systems ARE targeting people who would be interested with stuff that's relevant to them, and they're just NOT.
You can see it if you compare an entertaining TV ad by an established brand who can pay for the research to the vast majority of internet ads. They can be funny, entertaining, informative, even insightful. They can also be stereotyped and annoying of course, but on the whole they're much less of a headache than the nonsense funnel we get exposed to constantly online and in mobile games.
Tbh, advertisers, producers, and consumers have all been screwed over by VC-owned companies that are being squeezed from on high for every last drop of short term capital. And that means automating things because it's cheaper and quicker than human analysis, even if it means the whole thing becomes annoying, unhelpful garbage.
But scale it back and think about your artist friend. Your creator with a small etsy business. Your self-published author. Your inventor with a neat accessibility tool. They aren't producing groceries, but if they don't advertise, literally no one will know their products exist.
Advertising DOES have a good and important role. Under-regulated advertising in a toxic system not aimed at serving producers OR customers is hamstrung and cannot perform that role.
The only acceptable ads should be shit like "groceries on sale" and "free event at the local library"
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Dottore and his segments get a taste of their own medicine after giving you a job of your own. (In other words, you ignore their need for attention in favor of your work, they get pouty, just like you did.)
As of late, a peculiar sight had made its way into the lab. Actually, peculiar wasn't even strong enough of a word for the agents to use. They had nearly tripped over their feet once they saw the new area of their working quarters in the lab.
In addition to their Lord Harbinger's desk (that was shared amongst the segments depending on the day), there was now another desk on the opposite side of the room, and the cute decorations on it were quite noticeable. Photo frames and stationery. A comfortable and plush chair with a blanket that dropped over it.
... A plushie version of the Harbinger that laid on Dottore's desk, commissioned by you to motivate him.
(A side thought - the number of desks the Doctor had was something to wonder about. One in the lab, one in the office, one in the bedroom - no wonder things were always scattered around the place. But that was something for another day...)
And most importantly, you, Dottore's spouse, standing next to their Lord, rocking back on your heels nervously as he introduced you as their new co-worker.
â
It all began when you approached your husband with a very simple request.
"Dottie, I want a job!" You said with enthusiasm, smile as wide and proud as ever. The scientist paused his work and turned to look at you with a blank expression.
"... A job, you say?" You only puffed your chest out more at his confirmation.
"Yes, a job. I mean, being your lover is already a lot of work for my poor back, but I want to actually work with you! With your research and stuff, like the old days!" Your excitement was completely serious and were it not for your health, it would have been infectious for the scholar. Rarely did he ever meet anyone who was truly interested in his work. But of course, certain restrictions have held you back for a long time now.
"We've already been over this. My work is too dangerous for you," the Doctor sighed as he turned back around to continue whatever he was doing.
"I know, I know, but I meant other kinds of stuff. I've been thinking like... a desk job! It doesn't have to be anything dangerous! I could... sort papers for you? Oh, and you have one of those fancy stamps, right? I could stamp them too! I could rewrite your notes... ah, and the best part - I could help you write reports too! You always liked my essays, didn't you?" You were doing your best to provide Dottore with a convincing case, snuggling up against his firm back. Only another sigh escaped your husband, not really that convinced.
"Come on..." you inhaled his familiar scent, tinged with that laboratory smell that never seemed to go away, but somehow brought comfort to you. "I've been so bored lately... and lonely," you muttered the last part pointedly. "I just want some work to take my mind off things!"
Indeed, there was always limited entertainment and pastimes to occupy yourself with. It was especially boring on days you couldn't get out of bed, or when no segment could afford you attention...
"And you know what, I could give those agents of yours some writing tips, too!"
Yes, there had been many times his employees were not up to his standards, despite how many of them fawned over him (for some odd reason)...
"And I'll be helping you too! It's good for everyone."
Of course, you always felt rather good about yourself if you managed to help him, being the Second Harbinger and all...
"I suppose I shall give it some thought-" Before the man could finish his sentence you started squeezing him tightly while hopping in delight.
"Oh, thank you! So, when do I start? Do I get one of your huge desks too?"
"I didn't say yes yet, darling."
"Shh... we both know what you mean!"
â
And that was how you now clocked in at "work" every day with the agents (later than normal, but you had special privileges.) It was daunting at first for the poor souls, even the ones who secretly admired you from afar (being in the fan club and all.) Even though initially you were merely sorting papers, you were the most important person in that room.
However, soon enough, going to work in this dreary lab became a lot more cheery thanks to your sweet demeanor. Somehow, the atmosphere had become a lot less tense since the last time the segments visited.
The agents had little to no problem speaking to you like a normal person, after you had graciously given them tips on impressing the Harbinger.
"Psst..." you were hovering behind an unsuspecting agent, reading the report she had for Dottore, who jumped at your whisper. "You know, he might click his tongue if you give him that." Although her mask covered her face, you could see that half surprised at how you popped out of nowhere, and half agreeing with your words. Perhaps she felt comfortable enough to spill the situation to you.
"I-I am well aware of that," she deeply sighed, "but no matter what I write, my Lord always seems to be unsatisfied..." You patted her shoulder in sympathy. Having worked with Dottore since the Akademiya days, you knew very well of his distaste for certain things.
"Well, that's why I was hired, friend! To make his and your life easier! See, look here, that's a no-no, he wouldn't appreciate those details, mhm, but this needs to be elaborated on more, uh huh..." Of course, being the good spouse and employee you were, the report was converted into the best one that had ever landed on the Doctor's desk.
On your lunch break, they provided you with some juicy gossip about anything they could get their hands on (the fan club had long reaches, apparently.) Frequently you had to debunk things about Dottore... (the handbook was swiftly revised.)
Needless to say, things seemed to be going well. You looked happier. Motivated. Having new "friends" as your company (that still watched their mouth around you after a single glance from the segments.)
However... an issue arose after a while. One that seemed entirely stupid and impossible.
Now that you were so caught up in your work, when the segments finally had some spare time to come to you, they were... rejected. Yes, they had come to you, fully expecting your devoted attention and kisses that you always gave them without hesitation, but now turned away. (Even more embarrassing, sometimes in front of the agents who kept their eyes glued to their strange chemicals.)
â
It was Omega, of all segments, who was turned away first. The most confident and charming of the bunch left uncharacteristically silent. He had come up behind you and traced his hands against your neck, always being the one who had no shame in touching you. You only softly giggled at the sensation and caught his hand in yours.
"It seems you've been busy for a while, dear." In truth, it was mostly you seeking him out and not vice versa, but the segment hadn't seen you invading his office in a while. The space had gotten too quiet without you.
"Mhm! But I can't imagine how much work you do. My desk is nowhere as cluttered as yours," you smiled as you felt the segment kiss your lashes.
"What do you say to a break with me?" Omega offered, already knowing what your eager response would be.
"Nah, I can't right now."
...
Your words took a few seconds to process through his head.
"Pardon?"
"I have all this work, 'Mega, and other people need my help," you shrugged your shoulders as you swung your legs. "But don't worry. I'm sure we can spend some time later!" You kissed him on the cheek and pulled your chair in before continuing your work.
Omega, the greatest segment, was reduced to a blankly staring man who had been deprived of his lover's attention for the first time.
He was irritable for the rest of the day.
â
Beta was next, the poor thing.
You were always the one he blew off steam to, always willing to listen about his gripes and complaints, offering him consolation in the form of kisses and soft words.
However, you hadn't come to visit in so long, the segment was all pent up and now the agents were beginning to fall victim to him.
Fine then - he'd seek you out. Not because he needed you or missed you or anything of the sort. You were just... halting his progress with the lack of your presence. Yes, that was it.
And so the scientist, donning his grand pink bow tie, swung by your desk.
"So this is where you've been? How boring." Beta was not a segment that you'd want to do paperwork. He much preferred to be hands-on.
"Ah, Beta!" You brightened in delight at seeing one of your lovers. "I missed you!" At least you were always honest about your feelings.
... But to cut a long story short, Beta faced the same conundrum that Omega did.
Someone got turned into a floating Ruin Machine that day.
â
By now all the segments had experienced being turned away from work. Alpha's signature scowl had become permanent. Zandy was pouting the whole day as he missed his parent. Foxttore kept to himself with a pathetic sopping wet eye. His segments were fighting with each other inside his mind, a great nuisance.
All because you were too absorbed with your work to pay them any attention.
... The Doctor was now realizing that it sounded like a very familiar tune sung by you. So this was what you felt for days on end? Now, it was easier for him to understand why you were always upset if you were ignored too much.
Still, it was mortifyingly embarrassing that his segments were reduced to this pitiful state just because you rejected cuddles a few times. Regardless, it was up to him to solve the issue. After all... he missed you too. He wanted you to be around him more often again.
And so the Doctor made his way to his beloved.
There you were, all cozy on your seat as you sorted through some papers. Really, he had no clue you'd be this productive, to be honest. At least it was proof that your health hadn't gotten worse, considering how well you were handling this.
"Aren't you the one who kept saying to take breaks?" His voice made you jump a bit, having not heard him walk up.
"It's you, Dottie! I was wondering when you'd come around. And of course, I take breaks, Dottore. I have lunch with the other agents!" Ah, another party that's been hogging your attention.
"You know, this job has been pretty fun, Dottore! Everyone's real nice, we make jokes, I get to write about interesting things..." You continued to go on about the research and while usually he'd be intrigued by your findings, this time he had enough.
Dottore picked you up like a long cat as you squealed from the sudden grasping.
"What are you doing?!"
"You're coming with me," was his cut and dry response as he lifted you into his arms.
"B-But I have to work on the big report for Pantalone!" Dottore's eye twitched at the mention of the banker.
"Someone else can."
"But I-"
"I'm not listening to anything you say further," he plainly said as he walked with you cuddled into his chest as you gawked at him.
Could he be... jealous? A wee bit lonely? You kept your guesses to yourself as he eventually bought you back to his room and laid you on his bed, not even saying anything to you before sitting at his desk.
Did he simply miss your presence that much? You felt a bit bad neglecting your lovers that much. But to be fair, they kinda did the same... sometimes. You got up to console your silly husband, who was just a man in your hands.
"Hey... I missed you too, dear husband... but I had to make sure no one stole the title of best assistant from me!" Dottore only sighed at your foolishness.
Of course no one could ever replace you.
"I know you'd rather die than admit it... but don't worry. You're lucky I'm sensitive to your feelings," you teased as you kissed the top of his mask. "I'll pay more attention to you and the segments, before they cause another headache for you, love. You'll give me some vacation time off, right?"
You laughed at your own joke before Dottore pulled you into his lap, biting down hard on your neck.
â
"Beloved, would you care to join me in discussing your work?"
"You fool, they're obviously coming to my lab to activate a new Ruin Machine."
"But [Name] is supposed to play with me today!!"
"As if, they're far too busy to join you all with your silly games."
"You all will stress them out with this arguing. Now, why don't you join me instead for a cup of coffee instead?"
"Grr, gr gr, grr!"
It was good to be loved so deeply.
#smooches talks#dottore love notes <3#fragile reader <3#dottore x reader#just lots of fluff I whipped up as a mini apology for being inactive. >.<#idk if this seems random but i love this scenario#reader simultaneously feeling like they're helping zandik while also keeping their mind off sad things <33#dottore happy seeing u happy but then gets jealous bc now ur glued to UR desk... unfair. tch... (he's a hypocrite)#divider by cafekitsune
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F1 drivers rated on how likely they are to know what ao3 is
note : this is just for entertainment. I will also use this to make a general reminder not to get anything fanfic/rpf related outside of sites such as tumblr, ao3, or wattpad. Enjoy!
This is just the current grid, because if I had to do it with every driver that raced this season, I'd get a surprisingly high amount of drivers to talk about.
20. Fernando
Grandpa. Need I to say more?
19. Checo
In a recent GQ Sport interview, he revealed that he didn't even have social media on his phone. I'd be surprised to hear he has any ao3 tab open up there.
18. K-mag
I don't feel like I need to explain this one. But I also believe that if Haas got him to read a chapter of a wattpad fanfic out loud where he has to replace Y/N with his own name after every penalty point he gets, he would have stopped causing so much ruckus. Or he might even cause more, who knows what goes on inside his mind.
17. Nico Hulk
Hear me out, he doesn't know what a fanfic is, but if he were more popular with the writer, he'd read the shit out of those.
16. Valterri
I could pay actual money to hear him read a 'kidnapped by one direction' self insert story out loud. If there is any Sauber intern lurking here, please consider. Wattpad as a sponsor would bring you a lot of money, think about it. I promise you will see a rise in your fandom if the name of the team was "wattpad kick sauber". I would buy merch. You need the money the way the constructors are going. Think about it.
15. Lance
I don't know too much about him, but I will assume he doesn't spend too much time on social media, or googling himself with all the hate he gets. But maybe if he were to read a strollonso fanfic, we might get to see him have actual expressions on his face. Granted, that would be a look of horror, but I will take what I can.
14. Carlos
I think he might combust if he read any ABO fanfic. I might want to see that.
13. Max
He is too busy sim racing to care. Good for him, I wish I could say the same about myself but alas I am too busy reading the same fanfic for the 23th time.
12. Yuki
I believe if you pronounced the term "Y/N" next to him he might assume that's a car brand. Or, like, hello in a foreign language. Again, good for him.
11. Zhou
Hear me out, fanfics seem to be quite popular in China, and he has a sister, there is no way he hasn't heard of the existences of it. I don't think he has read any though, which is for the better.
10. Franco
Our dear Franquito hasn't been on the grid for long enough to discover the amazing word that fanfics have to offer, but let me tell you that if he hasn't found out stuff yet, he'll find some soon enough. Let the writers have time to write a little bit more about him, and soon we'll get an instagram live of him reacting to those.
9. Liam
I think he is young enough to have googled himself (he had to find something to do since he's been a reserve driver since like the year 2010), but he also hasn't been a permanent member, so he might not have enough material to accidentally stumble upon.
8. Esteban
He googles himself. He knows there are fanfics. And he fucking likes that. If there is a rise of pierresteban fics on ao3 after Brazil 2024, he will be the first one to know let me tell you that much.
7. Lewis
Okay you might be wondering why this senior citizen is up here, and the answer is simple : he is too famous not to know. Like COME ON. He's been here since 2007 (which is longer than some people who'll see this post have been alive forâ that's a scary thought for another day), he has been in famous and televised rivalry, and he has to live with the existence of the quote "everything but a lover" about nico and him.
There is no way he hasn't READ a fucking brocedes fanfic. If he is willing, I will teach him how to use ao3 so he can look-up some "fix-it" fics. He might use some inspiration, and who is better for that than tired college students writing about their sad ass in between lectures?
6. George
He seems like the type to lurk a lot around the internet, so the chances of him finding the link to a fic on the third page of google isn't impossible to me.
If you find any comment of someone correcting your spelling, you know who did it.
5. Pierre
He probably googles his name too often not to have stumbled upon a "Reader x Pierre Gasly" wattpad fanfic. sigh.
4. Alex
Alex, I know that you are the second most likely to have tumblr (right after george who actually has an account). The chances of you knowing what a "lemon" is is way too high for my liking.
3. Charles
The C in Charles stands for Chronically Online. My boy was known for liking tweets about himself, and we know that fans talk about fanfics on twitter. He clicked on a link of a lestappen or sebchal fanfic at least once out of curiosity let me tell you this much.
2. Lando
Too chronically online not to have read fanfics about himself. I just know he typed in "lando norris fanfiction" straight in google at least once. Jail.
1. Oscar
Here me out : his sister is a K-pop fan. If you believe that she never yapped about a fanfic she read to her brother, you are strongly unfamiliar with sibling relationships. But the chances of him not listening to her are also very high, so maybe he shouldn't be so high up my list. But oh well.
He is also good at hiding his game, but he is as online as Charles (you thought you were sneaky but we caught you clicking on that link of Max playing air-hocket dear Osc.)
For my own mental health though, I will assume he hasn't read about his own self yet.
#oscar piastri#charles leclerc#lando norris#max verstappen#lewis hamilton#george russell#alex albon#franco colapinto#yuki tsunoda#liam lawson#carlos sainz#valterri bottas#zhou guanyu#nico hulkenberg#nico rosberg#keving magnussen#fernando alonso#esteban ocon#pierre gasly#lance stroll#formula 1#f1 grid#lestappen#fanfic#brocedes#f1 incorrect quotes
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because it amused my friends but is also a useful metaphor, i'm going to tell a story now: so there was this one time i punched my dentist.
i have never done something like that before or since. i was getting a filling, see, very routine. (side note: i quite liked that dentist; he has since retired but he's always been not exactly "nice" but not mean about things like this. had a specific manner that worked well with my anxiety.) the dentist numbed the nerve that went to that part of my jaw and got stuff to start on the work.
what neither he nor i knew was this: i was actually in the small percentage of people that actually needed a SECOND nerve numbed to fully numb that part of my face. so when he started trying to do the "drill the cavity and give the filling" part, i started to feel pain. now, he'd warned me ahead of time this was a possibility! there was a thing i was supposed to do if that happened!
what actually happened is that my brain went: "I NEED TO MAKE THIS STOP I'M GONNA PUNCH THIS GUY".
i then immediately burst into tears.
luckily my dentist is a dentist and has had people fight-or-flight far more spectacularly and also far more effectively given that i don't know how to hit people. i managed to do exactly jack shit and he was bemused afterwards.
the thing is: this was not a sensible response to the situation! the dentist still had both a drill and a needle! i was way more likely to hurt myself than the dentist! my brain did not care. i was experiencing an adrenaline response, my brain felt helpless in the face of the pain to flight, so fight it was.
anyway, that's the emotion i am currently experiencing. i do not have the capacity to flight. so goddamn is my brain trying to find a good way to punch the problem.
this isn't a BAD impulse--hitting the dentist DID make him remove the drill from my mouth--but it's an impulse more likely to hurt me than help me unless i take a moment to go "maybe i SHOULDN'T punch the guy holding sharp objects right at my face", because it's not a rational brain response, it's a pure instinctive response. and it's an indicator i'm in fight-or-flight and should do everything in my power to avoid making any decisions that can't be undone, be those decisions "impulsively buy a bunch of tea" or far more severe.
my brain is currently trying to punch the dentist, and by the dentist i mean the election. i am not trustworthy.
but what i CAN do is this: i am going to volunteer at my local homeless shelters. this is an action i can channel my desire to punch the problem into that will help someone. look up your local volunteer organizations. organize into action. and do something that's more like "inform the dentist in the way you planned ahead of time that you're hurting" than "punch him and nearly get your eye poked out", you know?
and we will continue.
#uspol#thought this might help people other than my friends in discord and is also a bit lighter-hearted so here
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Piece of Jake
Logan has hated his body his entire life. Obese, gay, and a shut in have been a terrible combination for him. He decides becoming his sexy roommate Jake may be just what he needs to build up his confidence.
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Iâve had a crush on Jake for⊠well forever I guess. I guess thatâs one of the perks of being a part of the same class every year since kindergarten; you get to see the cute boys become cute men. Then there was the downside of that, that anybody who bullied you from kindergarten will decide to do it until you graduate. Theyâll do it for anything too; being gay, being fat, your race, your wealth. I was lucky enough to get 3 out of the 4 for about 12 years now. However, Iâm ready for that to change.
See I was blessed with a fantastic combination of having a slow metabolism, and an anxiety which I decided to soothe with eating. The result has left me to be a 19 year old with a BMI of 42. And yeah, BMI is bullshit if youâre stacked with muscle, but I had the rolls and pudge to prove there was some truth to it. Combine this with the fact that I was more queer than a midnight premier of Rocky Horror, and I came out to be not the most popular guy in school. I thought that would all change once I went to college, but freshman year was hell. I essentially spent the entire time in my dorm room, locked up in the dark and playing video games. But, I guess it wasnât all that bad.
See, back to Jake. Jake kept his status quo of being one of the top dogs from the ages of 5 to 18. Baseball star, debate captain, and voted âmost likely to succeedâ by our peers. Top all of that off that he was on of the few people who actually wasnât a total ass to me, and you can see why I was head over heels for him. He was straight of course, and even if there was a touch of bisexuality in him, he would never be interested in me. Now color me surprised when I found out that not only were we going to the same college, but we got randomly assigned to be roommates in the dorms! I was astounded, it was like there really was an astral force looking out for me.Â
So for almost the entirety of our freshman year, we chit chatted here and there, but Jake was almost never home. Instead, he was working to get himself into one of the fraternities and move into the house. While I was sad to not have as much time to admire Jake as I would like, that did give me the opportunity to go through his stuff. Mostly his closet. Jake wore the usual clothes youâd expect, hoodies, jerseys, wrangler jeans and the like. However, being that he was on the baseball team at the college, I found his stash of jockstraps he wore for practice. And good god, thank goodness laundry day was only once a week. The other 6 days I had a full time supply of used jocks to sniff and fantasize with.Â
I even tried to put one of them on in a hormone-fueled rage, but my thighs were probably the same mass as his entire body, and I couldnât get the damn thing on. The longer I admired Jake and saw him for who he was, the more my love for him grew. With that, so did my jealousy. Jake was everything I wanted. He was fit, cool, and could get any guy he wanted if he even batted an eye at them. My time alone did prove to give me an opportunity to do some research however.Â
See, Iâve tried for a long, long, long time to get fit on my own. Watching my diet, exercise, starving myself. But, nothing would work. Thatâs when I started to look for more, creative solutions. I came across a blog hidden deep on the web which talked about taking another personâs form. Most of these seemed bogus, but I had to try. I found one eventually from a user, âMagic_Mann_720â who shared a potion, once which he claimed could turn anybody into a bodysuit. I was about to just toss it aside, but after looking at my desk and seeing the empty bag of McDonaldâs staring back at me, I said fuck it.Â
In all honesty, brewing a magic potion was easier than I assumed it would be, and after just a few short weeks of waiting for unusual supplies to arrive in the mail, I had a vial of the stuff at my whim. Now, who could I possibly give this to? No, not Jake. But also, maybe? Would that make me the worst person imaginable if I slipped this to him? He was one of the few good people I had come across, I couldnât betray him like that. However, I saw one glimpse of his jock hanging from his hamper, and doubts crossed my mind. It was staring back at me, taunting me with how tight it fucking was. I had to wear it, and I only knew of one body it would perfectly fit.Â
He was like clockwork, especially early in the morning when he made his preworkout and went off to the gym at 6 in the morning. I set my alarm for 5:50, just early enough to slip the potion into his drink before he woke up and set off. It was of course impossible to wake up so early in the morning, but somehow I managed to silence my alarm without waking Jake.Â
I fumbled around in the dark and found his shake he made the night before. I had slept with the vial under my pillow, though I could barely sleep from the anticipation of my task today. Being careful to not wake him, I unscrewed the lid, dumped the contents of the vial into the jar, and shook it up. I had just laid back in my bed when his alarm woke him up. I kept my eyes closed, hoping to trick him into thinking I was asleep. I heard him stumble around the room, getting his bearings, getting dressed. I couldnât resist popping one eye open to see his lithe frame as he found a tank and basketball shorts.Â
He was already wearing boxers, but if my plan went accordingly, he never would wear such loose fitting underwear again. I heard him grab his shake, and my heart began to race. The pop of the lid went off, and I strained my ears to listen to him drain the contents quickly and quietly. The lid closed and just as I heard the doorknob turn, there was the sound of heavy stomps. I opened my eyes a bit wider to see Jake stumbling around, trying to get his bearings.Â
âHey⊠Logan?â Jake said weakly. I pretended to wake up and rose from bed, seeing him lean against his desk.Â
âJake? You okay?â I asked him. He turned his head to me, panting.Â
âI d-donât feel good man,â he said between breaths. âGet.. get help. Help.. me..â He slumped to the ground, and while I anticipated a loud thud as his jock body slammed to the ground, it was a soft thump, like that of clothes tossed to the ground. For a moment, I hesitated to creep any closer, afraid of what I would find. I mustered up the courage to turn on the bedside lamp and found a near horrifying site by the door.Â
There on the ground was Jake, but he was flat as a pancake. He arms and legs stretched out, head deflated, and the clothes he was wearing were atop of him in a pile. I tiptoed to the body, already feeling regret in what I had done. Fuck why did I do this to him? Was I really so driven by my own lust I essentially just killed a good guy?Â
My own footsteps were much heavier than Jakes, making the floorboards creek. I kicked at the body, the skin feeling as alive as ever, but made no movement of its own. I got on my knees, and with the tips of my fingers, grabbed Jakeâs hair and pulled his head up. I was met with Jakeâs face, his eyes now hollow sockets and mouth agape. I dropped the skin and scuttled back in fear. Fuck fuck fuck, itâs so god damn creepy! I took a few deep breaths and crawled on my hands and knees to the body once more.Â
I tried to be more confident this time, grabbing him by his shoulders, and pulling him up as I struggled to stand. Jake was of similar height to me, so once I was fulling standing, I leaned the face to my mine, the tips of his toes still slumped on the floor. You know, itâs less creepy now. Jake was always a cutie, and even as a husk of himself he was irresistible. It was too late now, and while I felt bad about what I had done, I did it with a purpose. The issue now was, how the hell did I fit inside? Speaking of, would I fit at all?
I pulled at his cheek and found it to be rather elastic. My curiosity piqued, and I pulled at the corners of his mouth, which stretched at least a foot wide when I put some effort in. That gave me an idea. I quickly took off my shirt and briefs, catching my reflection in the standing mirror as I did so. God damn it, I was so fucking fat. My stomach hung out in front of me, almost covering my pathetic cock. Ass was as wide as trailer, neck rolls which made it seem like my head sat straight on my shoulders. Tits bigger than most girls I went to school with. This was my last chance to do something about it.Â
I sat on my bed, laying Jake down in front of me like a pair of pants. Stepping one foot into Jakeâs mouth, I stretched it further and further until my thick calves were encompassed by his lips. Grabbing at his chest, I pulled him further up my leg, already running out of breath as I did so. This was a workout on its own. I remember watching videos of guys slipping into wetsuits when I was a teenager, it was a slight fetish of mine. I loved seeing the neoprene cling to their slim figures. Those guys would go inch by inch yanking the suit further up them, so I went ahead and mirrored the practice.Â
I found doing so actually made the process easier. Soon enough, my foot aligned with Jakeâs. I shimmied his calves to match mine, but it was so incredibly tight. It was like my leg was vacuum sealed inside of him, crushing the fat around my leg down to match his. I began to pant, scared I was cutting off all circulation. I was so scared to look down and see something horrific, but shot a glance and was amazed by what I saw. There, my right leg was pristine. It was a mirror image of Jakeâs which I had stared at so often when he wore shorts. I wiggled my toes, and Jakeâs did the same motion.Â
Kicking my leg around, the pain began to subside, and I could see up to my knee, it was like I had worked out my entire life. I could feel the beaming smile creep across my face as I stretched Jakeâs mouth open wide again to shove my other foot inside. Now that I had some practice, my left leg was far easier to work with and soon enough, I had two sets of legs which were built from years of baseball practices and running. My thighs proved to be another issue entirely, practically twice the twice of my calves.Â
I stood up from the bed, almost falling over from my balance being so off. Grabbing at Jakeâs stomach, I jumped up and down a few times, his skin stretching and sliding over me with his lurch. My I stuck my hand down the inside of Jakeâs mouth, the feeling of my now erect cock sliding against the inside of Jake. Although I wasnât generously endowed, it still hurt to have it crushed inside of him. I found Jakeâs cock, and while deflated, certainly overshadowed mine in length and girth. With one hand on the outside, and the other inside, I guided mine into his like a sheath.Â
It was the most orgasmic feeling I had ever experienced. Jakeâs cock went from looking like a flattened worm, to coming to full erection. He was at least seven inches long, and despite mine being half the size, somehow felt like it was filled entirely. It was beet red from anticipation, and while I wanted to cum right here and now, I had to finish what I started. I turned to the mirror once more, and was shocked by what I saw. From the waist up, I was still fat fuck Logan, but from the lower half, I was built like a god damn star. My new cock swung side to side, stiff as a board, and my ass, while squeezed in like a sausage, now was as perky as if I squatted 300 lbs. I turned and slapped Jakeâs ass, watching as the taut skin slapped me back. All hints of cellulite gone.Â
Finally was the part I was most afraid of, my stomach. It hung over the edge of Jakeâs body, the flap of my stomach going over Jakeâs lips. I sucked it in, which did practically nothing. Taking one of my arms, I pushed it as far in as I could, and used my other hand to pull the lips of Jakeâs mouth up. I groaned in pain, feeling like a rubber band was squishing me in and threatening to cut me in half. Somehow though, his head moved up and moved. It was by inches and incredibly painful. Once I reached my belly button, I found a system to make it easier. Moving him up further and further, I finally reached my chest before I had to fall onto the bed.Â
I was breathing heavier than ever, and drenched in sweat from what was left of my original body. I felt Jakeâs, and he was as dry as ever, as he would never be worn out from such a task. I counted down from ten and hoisted myself up, catching my sight in the mirror. My moobs hung over Jakeâs torso, but it was like I was wearing a skin corset. I rubbed my had over my new stomach, feeling how flat it was. In fact, I would even see the beginnings of a six pack bulging out. It was surreal, I donât think Iâve been this thing since⊠ever. I took a deep breath and worked to shove each of my tits down Jakeâs mouth.Â
Each of them was a chore on their own, but eventually, all that was left were my arms and head. I donât know how that would work, but if I made it this far, it was certainly possible. It would be tough as I would lose an arm at a time trying to slide them in. Taking my right one first, I wriggled my fingers inside, pushing them down Jakeâs like a skin tight glove. With each inch my fingers slid in, it was easier and easier as I gained Jakeâs strength. Eventually, the fingers found their way into his. I pulled at his bicep, as stretchy as the rest of him, and snapped it into place, enclosing my arm.Â
I rushed to do the same with my left and with my newfound strength, found this section to be the easiest. I was almost done. Jakeâs lips were around my neck, and I had to use his fingers to make sure he didnât choke me. I glanced at the mirror, and found Jake with my head. I turned my body around, admiring his form. I had taken several sneaky glances at him as he changed, but to have full autonomy, to see his tattoo on his thigh, the way his veins popped in his hands, the curvature of his muscles, it was like I was being treated to a feast.Â
âGoodbye Logan,â I told myself. I donât know if I would come back from this. Or, if I would even want to. I took a deep breath and shimmied his head up my own. The same tight sensation took over my entire headspace and it was like a migraine hit me. Using my hands, I smushed my face around, placing my nose into his, eyes, lips. I fluttered my eyelids and had to refocus my vision. Going to the mirror was a picture perfect reflection of Jake.Â
âHoly shit,â I said. Oh fuck, that was still my voice. I guess that wouldnât have changed. I donât know how I could pull off Jakeâs voice, but I would have to practice it. I looked at the corner of my mouth, seeing my original lips peak through Jakeâs. I took a finger, stretching and pulling it into place.
There, I was Jake. Fuck I was Jake! I laughed and rubbed my arms across my body, watching as Jake did it in the mirror.Â
I spent a good ten minutes trying different poses and watching as Jake bent to my will. Sniffing his pits, making funny faces, bending over and showing off my new hole to myself. That last one sent me over the edge and I knew I had to blow off the steam which had built up. I sat on the bed and hoisted my legs up, cradling the back of my knees in my hands. I could never have even thought about attempting that in my old body, but as Jake, I felt so lithe. My smile was beaming in between my legs as I puckered my hole. I had to see what this looked like. I wanted to see Jake be pathetic now. I twisted my face to match that of so many porn actors I had watched alone in this room.Â
âOhhhh⊠oh fuck me daddy,â I said, begging, watching Jakeâs eyes as they wished desperately for a fat cock to fill him up. I split into my hand and began to pump my new cock, already slick and slimy from precum. I stuck a finger in my mouth and wet it before sliding it over my hole and slicking it up. I had plenty of experience playing with my old hole, but I always struggled to get my arm in a position to really get deep in. Jake didnât have that problem though. I started to finger fuck myself, watching as Jake became his own bitch.Â
âOh fuck daddy, fuck me. Fuck me!â I yelled, the point of climax racing through my cock before I could even react. Laces of cum shot out and started to drench my body, reaching even to my face and getting into my hair. I pulled my finger out of my hole, let go of my cock, and felt it rest against my thigh. There in the reflection was Jake, covered in his own cum and looking like a bitch.Â
I giggled, knowing I should feel far more guilty about what I had done, but too high on my own bliss to care. After bathing in my glory, I decided to clean Jake up and explore his body some more. I grabbed one of his towels and left the room, still naked. Walking down the dorm hall to the bathroom, it was still dead silent. Logan would have been petrified at the idea of being caught naked by somebody, but Jake? Well Jake now hoped somebody would see him and be jealous.Â
Getting into the bathroom, I passed by Brad, another guy on our floor, who had a towel wrapped around his waist, still glistening from his shower.Â
âJake, the fuck?â He asked. I couldnât pull off Jakeâs voice yet, but I gave him a pat on the shoulder and winked at him as I pushed past. For a second I caught a glimpse of him checking out my body before he shook his head and rushed out to his room. I went to one of the mirrors in the bathroom and knelt over, posing and kissing at myself. Jake was going to become a lot more playful it seemed.Â
I took my time in the shower, feeling every crevice of Jakeâs body and feeling myself up. And of course, stretching out his hole some more to work him up to taking a real dick. Maybe by one of his new frat brothers I need to meet. Once I got back to our room, I knew there was only one thing left on my to do list of the morning. I went to Jakeâs hamper and pulled out the jock which was mocking me just hours before. I sniffed at, Jakeâs pheromones becoming mine.Â
I slipped both legs down and had no trouble at all this time adjusting my bulge and feeling the elastic hug my jock thighs. I snapped one of the bands, feeling a sheer run my spine as I did so. Slipping one of his black shirts on, I went for Jakeâs phone, which thankfully could be opened with just his face. I snapped a few pictures for myself to look at whenever I pleased. Now, how about we download Grindr to it and see what this new body can pull?
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Look shit is going to get bad. It's always going to get bad. But with that it means it'll get better too. What's good and bad is different for everyone. Many things that are bad for you know might stay that way. But many of them will also progress and change and actually get better. Beyond that thought, if you stay and you fight, you will get better. Maybe it is your family that'll always be crazy, maybe the political world will be beyond bleak for the foreseeable future, but if you stay you'll be able to see the things that will improve and will be good. I know so many of us have so much on our plates right now and the results of yesterday and dreadful. But please stay. I promise it'll be worth it.
Sure everything you hope for might not happen but you'll never get to know the things that WILL if you stay. I know the point of this post is mostly to address the dread many of us feel after the election. And I fully get it trust me I do. But as someone who has made that choice before and I am so grateful it didn't work for me to be able to still be here I want to share a few things.
"it gets better" is both right and wrong in my opinion. Yes sometimes the things that have you down so bad that you walk that path can absolutely get better. Sometimes they don't though and while that sucks it's okay. Because as I said before, YOU get better. (Not to run into "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" stuff because I get it, why do we have to be strong) You grow, you learn, you change. And with that growth and change your state of mind often changes too. Admittedly my life isn't too different from when I reached that point, but it's also so much better in so many ways. I'll use my family for an example. My family is so chaotic it's overwhelming and that hasn't changed, what has changed though is my ability to cope with it. I am still the one everyone runs to to fix problems. I still try to fix those problems more than I probably should, but I have started to learn to say no and to put up boundaries with them. So while yes it hasn't changed for the most part the growth I've had within myself has allowed me some space from all the chaos and it's truly helped me.
Then there's things like medication and therapy that's has helped immensely along the way. And I fully understand that not everyone has the same access to things I have been lucky enough to have along the way as the journey is different for everyone. And especially given the outcome of yesterday those things may become even harder to obtain for others. But I will say I also thought a lot of those things were out of my reach and I started asking the right questions and made it a little father (again this won't be true for everyone but hopefully will be able to at least a few)
I reached a standstill with progressing in my career because I didn't know what to do next. One day I got super lucky and met a new person who gave me so much guidance (more than I think they know) and it reignited my passion for my goals (again I know I am super lucky to find myself in that situation). My point with that is we have to be able to reach each other because you never know who you can help (with something that may be simple to you) and who can help you. You don't get to experience that if you're gone.
I'm not trying to get into my whole story or journey but I'm trying to share enough that it makes sense and is understood when I say I know what it feels like to be that low and I know what it feels like to overcome it. So please trust me on that.
I know things are scary right now. So much is uncertain and on the line. But you won't fix it by overly stressing about it and you won't fix anything is you don't stay. Times are going to get challenging and it's going to get hard and rough, but we will always be able to do something about it, especially together. So I can't help you if I leave and you can't help me if you go.
So take some time to process you frustration, your grief, and your fears. Then when you're ready take a deep breath and be prepared. Be prepared to take action. Figure out what is most important to you that you fear will change with the coming times. It could be your number 1 thing it could be a top 3-10 depending on what you have the energy for. And. Then start to learn. What can you do to help, what can you do to make a change, how can you make a difference. Then make a plan. When we all taken action things will start to be okay again.
But we can't inform each other if we're not here. We can't help if we're not here. Like OP said times have been bad before throughout history and humans have survived and we'll survive this. If you need a reminder and it won't mess you up too much look into the things people have preserved through (try not to focus too much on those tragically lost to those times because that won't help in this situation)
I know this is long and has gone all over the place but I needed to get this out because it's just part of everything swirling in my mind lately. So, sorry is it's a little hard to understand my points, if you'd like to reach out to discuss any of it with me if gladly try to be more clear on some of it I just was trying to not fully take over OP's post with my response (which I know I more than likely have by now, SORRY OP) this post just resonated with me and everything started flowing. So please just stay even if it means me typing all of this out was worth it and because you are worth it and we will work together to make it better
I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.
#truly am sorry op#and for how long and rambly it is#i just needed a place to say it and your post just happed to be the place to do so
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Mob Movember
Mob Boss Nico x reader
A/n: just a little something inspired by the diva pictured above x
~~~~~~~
âSo thatâs like gonna be a thing now?â
Nicoâs eyebrows pinch together, eyes finding yours in the bathroom mirror and he pauses, razor half way to his face and warm water running from the faucet.
âWhat do you mean?â
You shrug and he blinks, looking back at his reflection and biting his bottom lip to pull it taut. Then heâs dragging his razor over a smear of shaving cream on his chin, dipping the razor back into the sink to rinse it.
âYou shaved a lot this week,â you decide to say, âand yet you always skip the space above your lip.â
Nico bristles at that, a petulant pout glaring at you through the mirror and you try not to laugh at him after indirectly insulting his mustache. Itâs not that you hate it per se, it just looks different on him. Heâs still cute, youâll give him that. Itâs impossible for him to ever not be attractive, but the mustache doesnât have the same sexy appeal his beard does.
âDidnât know I had to explain the concept of a mustache to you.â
âOuch,â you hold a hand over your heart. âMean and mustache-y.â
A sigh of annoyance huffs out of his nose, and he shakes his head just once before going back to cleaning up his jawline. âGo away,â he says, but you linger a minute longer to watch him finish shaving, eyes following the bend of his waist when he leans over to rinse off any left over bits of shaving cream.
Giving yourself a moment to appreciate his ass in those light blue jeans he wears all the time, you wonder off before he can look back in the mirror and still see you there.
~~~~
âNot you too!â
Timo frowns, looking around curiously as he slides into the passenger seat. Heâs wearing an overly thick puffy coat and those stupid 5 inch inseam shorts from Lululemon that all the boys except Nico wear (much to your dismay) and you were gonna tease him about whether heâs hot or cold but the sight of his face has changed your plans.
âWhat?â He closed the door, immediately warming his hands in front of the vents.
âIs there like a mustache epidemic going around? What is wrong with you and Nico?â
You saw Timo yesterday, and while he had more stubble than he usually does, you didnât think heâd be shaving it off into a mustache too. Itâs been three long days of trying to get Nicoâs new look to grow on you and no matter how times you kiss him, feel the scratch of his freshly shaved cheeks, itâs still not the same. You donât like the way it tickles your upper lip but not your chin, and you donât really like the way that you canât kiss his nose anymore without feeling it.
But youâre trying and itâs hard. Even harder now that your bestie has apparently jumped on the train too.
âYou donât like them?â He asks, not offended but curious. You side eye him, pulling away from the curb and making your way towards the yoga studio.
âIs that why Nico is pouting?â He laughs, clicking his seatbelt. He rubs at his lame excuse of a mustache and you mentally give Nico credit for that. At least he can actually grow a really nice one, not that youâre going to say that to Timo.
âHeâs pouting?â
âUh yeah,â he scoffs, âheâs moped every day this week, Sieges said theyâve been having to talk to clients and stuff because he gets moody right away.â
You cringe, feeling a little bad about the whole thing. You didnât mean to make Nico feel bad or like you donât like his mustache. Yeah you donât love it, but heâs Nico -your Nico -and everything about him is always so beautiful.
âI may be struggling to enjoy it,â you explain hesitantly, âI just am not used to it and heâs never been a mustache guy. Maybe like a day or two but he always shaves.â
âOof,â Timo laughs, âyeah you probably hurt his feelings. Literally his biggest flex is that you think heâs so pretty.â
Groaning painfully, you thump your head against the steering wheel before pouting up at the red light. Youâve always Nico to be a sensitive person, not in a bad way or anything. Heâs just never hid or pushed down feelings when it came to you, and it physically makes you ache to think that your reaction to his new facial hair made him so insecure he didnât want to tell you.
Youâve got some major Nico loving to make up for.
~~~~
Nico is sat in the Devils booth of The Rock, hunched over the scheduling iPad as the boys mill around the bar. Jesper and Jonas are actually working it looks like, Jonas holding a ladder that has the smaller of the two men perched at the top, Jesper screwing in a new security camera. Heâs got Mercer and Alex stocking the bar, and you almost laugh at the overly straight and organized bottles on Mercerâs side compared to haphazardly placed ones on Alexâs.
The Hughes boys are doing something theyâre probably not suppose to be doing on the upper level, no where to be seen but definitely heard.
Timo parts from you to go join Jesper and Jonas, who look like they could use it by the way Jesper is trembling on the top rung.
You approach the booth, setting the lunch you brought for Nico onto the table alongside your greens smoothie. He looks up at you when you drop your jacket into the seat, eyes following your movement when you slide in next to him.
âHey,â he mumbles, and something melancholy settles in the air. A bittersweet smile tugs at your lips, your heart throbbing when you take in the dejected look in his big brown eyes and the way heâs pouting.
âHi,â you greet, reaching up brush his hair away from his face. Then you hold his cheek, brushing your thumb over the scar on his cheekbone. âI brought you lunch.â
He doesnât bother to look interested. âThanks baby.â
âI like your mustache,â you say quietly, tenderly pressing your thumb into the hinge of his jaw where you know he gets headaches from clenching. Like its second nature he relaxes, melting into the feeling.
âNo you donât,â he insists, licking at his pouting lips. âSâfine-â
âI do, I do like it Nico. Itâs just different and I was teasing because Iâm not used to it.â
Nico blinks, fluttering those stupidly pretty eyelashes at you and then two dimples sink into his cheeks. âYeah?â
Giggling, you cup the back of his head and draw him closer to you. âYou know youâre always handsome, no matter what.â You kiss him before he can say anything else, smiling when his hair scratches at your cheeks and lip.
Nico hums, reaching around to grip your hip and pull you until youâre half sitting in his lap. Then he melts back into the booth, sighing contently.
âWould you two get a room, Jesus fuck.â
You peck Nicoâs lips one more time for good measure before pulling back, curling into his side and he slips his arm around you.
Nico reaches for his food, and you bite your lip to keep from laughing. The Hughes brothers have made their way down the stairs, and Mercer and Alex have abandoned the bar in favor of crowding around you and Nico.
Which in itself is a little scary, but add the thin and scraggly mustaches they all have is even worse. Desperate for a distraction, you scramble to grab your juice and take a sip, casting a glance over at Nico whoâs smirking proudly. He shares a knowing look with you.
âWhy are you making that face?â
You look at Jack, forcing yourself to only look in his eyes as you clear your throat. âWhat face?â
He points an accusing finger at you. âThat face, why are you laughing?â
âMânot.â
âYou are, Holtz tell her she is.â
Alex looks around helplessly and you do giggle when you realize his poor mustache is nothing but peach fuzz. âOk now sheâs laughing.â
Steadying yourself, you force your smile down. âI love this new look you all have going on.â
Almost immediately they all groan, offended and outraged and you canât even listen to them. Hunching over into Nicoâs shoulder you cackle, tears springing up in your eyes and stomach aching.
You can feel him chuckle, one hand rubbing at your back to calm you down. Finally you peel yourself off of him, wiping at your wet eyes as the boys glare at you.
âDonât be mean, itâs for a good cause.â Mercer defends.
âWhat cause?â
âMovember,â Jack states proudly, âit was Nicoâs idea. Good cause and we all bond over our shared âstaches.â He strokes over his lame excuse of a mustache and Luke cringes, cheeks tinting pink.
You look to Nico. âThis was your doing?â
He looks utterly pleased with himself, shrugging nonchalantly but thereâs a twinkle of mischief in his features. The sight makes you giddy. What has he been up to?
The other three boys wonder up behind the rest, and you cackle again at the blonde patch of hair on Jesperâs lip and the razor burn on Jonasâs chin. Offended, they frown at you.
âSâlike our new tradition,â Jesper says but it sounds more like a question as he examines Nico.
Your boyfriend beams at you. âLike last year we did no nut November,â he explains, and you roll your eyes. You hated that stupid challenge between them, and if you recall correctly, they all did too.
âYeah and you lost,â Timo mocks, glancing at you because you know all too well why Nico lost. And Nico knows too because you canât for the life of you keep a secret from him.
âHey you all cried to y/n to make me lose,â Nico argues, and Timoâs mouth drops open.
âTraitor!â Jesper gasps, pointing at you. âYou werenât supposed to tell him we came to you.â
âHey the only loyalty I have is to him,â you jab your thumb in Nicoâs direction. âAnd his dick.â
Nicoâs smirk grows, shuffling in his seat as he accepts the compliment from you. âYou all went crying to her about how dry November was making me mean. And thatâs why I lost.â
âShouldâve known to never trust a temptress,â Jack mutters, glaring at you. Offended, you glare back.
âWell you canât a grow a mustache,â you hiss, âin fact none of you can. That dirt smear on your lip looks like it took twenty years to grow Jack.â
He clutches his heart, offended and looks to Nico for help. Nico takes a sip of your smoothie, gesturing for them to leave. âMâon her side. Get back to work, all of you.â
They grumble, stalking away from the table and muttering to each other as they return to their assigned jobs for the day. Shuffling, you turn to Nico.
âYouâre so mean for letting them walk around like that.â You giggle quietly, and Nico snickers.
âYou should see the update selfies theyâve been taking,â he whispers, pleased with himself. âThink Iâll make a collage of them and hang them in the office before I tell them it was all a joke.â
âWhy didnât you tell me this was to get back at them for last year?â
He shrugs. âYou were so fucking good to me after they whined last year that I wanted it to be a surprise. And was it a good one, or what?â
You laugh again, flashing back to seeing them all standing around you earlier, so proud of their matching mustaches.
âItâs kind of cute,â you mumble thoughtfully, laying your head on his shoulder. âThey all wanted to be like you.â
Nico hums in agreement. Then heâs sliding the iPad to you. âLook this over, yeah? Make sure Iâve got the schedule and times right for Thanksgiving.â
Heâs so sweet, you think, looking over the calendar heâs filled in. Even when heâs fucking around and embarassing the boys, heâs given them slack for almost the whole month. And heâs even written in the day off for Friday after Thanksgiving. Instead a big red heart is drawn on the day and in his perfectly slanted handwriting is written âFamily Sleepoverâ.
âLooks good,â you agree, pressing a kiss to his jaw. âBut the mustaches have to go by Thanksgiving. I am not having those in any photos.â
âYes maâam.â
#mob boss nico hischier#nico hischier#him and i chats#him and I blurb#new jersey devils#him and i#nico hischer x reader
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Double D Dungeon Crawl (NSFW) FT Eunbi, Sejeong, Mina Kang, Somi
Operatorâs Notes: I had a lot of ground to cover and tried to do capatilize as much as possible.
Disclaimer: I know none of these girls have double Ds
"Awe fuck Somi your tits are spectacular as always," Ivan says as his girlfriend casually strokes his cock with her tits.
"Are you close?" Somi asks with bright eyes hoping to get him to explode more than ever. However, their little tryst was interrupted when Ivan's alarm went off for DND.
âOh shit, Somi, stop. I need to focus,â Ivan said, laughing as he lightly pushed her off, trying to keep his composure.
Somi pouted dramatically. âFocus? On what? Am I not enough of a distraction for you?â As she spoke she seductively juggled her tits hoping to entice Ivan to stay.
Ivan grinned, eyes still on his girlfriend. âBabe, it's Dungeons and Dragons night. Do you want to come? Youâll round out the party.â
Somi crossed her arms, tilting her head with mock suspicion. âWait, whoâs going?â
Ivan blinked, recollecting. âUh⊠itâs Orion, Flint, Mina, Eunbi, and me.â
âEunbi? Whoâs that?â Somi asked, her curiosity piqued.
âOh, thatâs Orionâs girlfriend,â Ivan said casually. âSheâs⊠interesting.â
âInteresting how?â Somi leaned closer, eyes narrowing playfully.
Ivan chuckled. âWell, Orion met her at this screening for the new season of Ultraman, right? They stayed up âtil like 4 a.m. talking about all things tokusatsuâlike the whole deep dive into its impact on anime and⊠their lives.â
Somi raised an eyebrow, picturing a total nerd duo. âOh, so sheâs a nerd too, huh? Sheâs probably super frumpy and wears those huge anime shirts.â
âActually, no,â Ivan said, shaking his head, a smirk playing on his lips. âSheâs kinda⊠hot.â
Somiâs eyebrows shot up, not believing him for a second. âHot? Really? Prove it.â
Ivan shrugged, pulling out his phone and scrolling for a photo. He handed it to her, and she blinked at the image of Orion standing with a curvy, stylish woman.
âOh shit, good for him!â Somi said, genuinely impressed. âI was expecting glasses and an Evangelion hoodie, but damn.â
Ivan laughed. âYeah, right? Orion kinda hit the jackpot.â
Somi handed his phone back with a smirk. âSo what youâre telling me is, nerds are pulling hot people now. Is that your subtle way of telling me Iâm too good for you?â
Ivan grinned, wrapping his arm around her waist. âNah, itâs more like Iâm Orion in this situation.â
She raised an eyebrow. âAnd Iâm Eunbi?â
âObviously. Youâre way out of my league, but somehow here you are,â he said, pulling her closer.
âHmm, nice save.â Somi leaned into him. âOkay, fine, Iâll go. But youâre gonna have to do all the math for me, because thatâs not happening.â
Ivan kissed her cheek. âOf course, babe. I got you.â
âGood. Now, when we win, Iâm taking all the credit.â
Ivan chuckled, but then his face shifted as he realized something. âOh crap, I gotta tell the group youâre coming.â He grabbed his phone and quickly started typing a message. âSejeong and her boyfriend are gonna want to tweak the setup now.â
Somi rolled her eyes playfully. âYou make it sound like theyâre running a whole operation.â
Ivan grinned. âThey are. You know how serious they get about this stuff.â
Somi nodded knowingly. âTrue, theyâre like the eldest siblings of the group. Always organizing everything.â
A few moments later, Sejeongâs phone buzzed. She picked it up and smiled when she saw Ivanâs text about Somi joining the game. âOh, this is gonna be fun,â she said to herself before turning to her boyfriend, who was focused on something at the other end of the couch.
âHey, babe,â she called over. âCan you help me with making another player character?â
He looked up, intrigued. âWhoâs it for?â
âSomi.â
A grin spread across his face. âNice. Thatâll shake things up.â He thought for a second, then narrowed his brow as he began mentally drafting character ideas. âHow about⊠three levels in Bard and three levels in Sorcerer? That way weâve got a solid caster, and she can throw in some chaotic fun. Weâll still have enough balance with the fighters.â
Sejeongâs eyes lit up. âOoh, I like that! College of Eloquence for her Bard side and Wild Magic for Sorcerer. Itâs totally her vibe.â
âDefinitely,â he agreed, already imagining the wild, charismatic chaos Somi would bring to the table.
As they started refining the character, they began chatting about their friends, as they often did when planning game sessions. It was their way of making sure everyone had a good time. Sejeong had a knack for knowing just the right balance between engaging stories and letting her friends express their personalities through their characters. While her boyfriend excelled at gameplay and mechanical design.
âOrion and Flint are gonna love this,â Sejeong said, scrolling through the character stats on her tablet. âYou know how they love when things get crazy.â
âEspecially Flint. He thrives on unpredictability,â her boyfriend added, tweaking some numbers. âMinaâs gonna roll her eyes, though. Sheâs all about the strategy.â
âTrue,â Sejeong laughed. âBut thatâs why she and Eunbi will probably end up teaming upâperfect balance. Minaâs tactical, Eunbi all about the story.â
He nodded thoughtfully. âYeah, plus, Orionâs probably gonna get distracted with Eunbi half the time anyway. Theyâre still in that honeymoon phase.â
Sejeong smiled warmly. âItâs cute, though. Let them have their fun.â
They both exchanged a glance, the kind of shared understanding that came from years of knowing their friendsâ quirks. Sejeong and her boyfriend had always been the steady presence in the group, the ones everyone could rely on. Whether it was organizing game nights, offering advice, or helping to smooth over conflicts, they were the glue holding everyone together. And for this D&D session, it was no different.
With Somi joining, they knew it was going to be a more chaoticâbut funânight, and they were ready to embrace it.
âOkay,â Sejeong said, standing up and stretching. âLetâs send this to Ivan. Somiâs about to have a blast.â
Sejeongâs boyfriend nodded then said, âOh we gotta tell everyone Somi is coming. I'll send the info to Flint and you can send it to Orion," Sejeong nodded and watched him reach out to Flint and Mina.
A few seconds before they got the call, Mina and Flint were enjoying a quiet evening together. The warm glow from the kitchen light gave the room a soft, comfortable ambiance. Flint had just finished cooking a steak dinner, and the smell of garlic butter and rosemary filled the air.
Mina took a bite, savoring the flavors, then smiled contentedly. âThis is really nice, babe,â she said, her voice full of appreciation.
Flint grinned, leaning back in his chair. âGlad you like it. Worked pretty hard on that steak, you know.â
âI can tell. Itâs perfect,â Mina replied, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand.
Flint rubbed the back of his neck, his expression softening. âWell, itâs the least I can do after making you deal with Ori and Bunny all the time.â
Mina raised an eyebrow, giving him a teasing look. âWhat do you mean by that? I love Orion and Eunbi.â
âI know, I know,â Flint said with a chuckle. âItâs just⊠they can be a bit much sometimes. And it doesnât help that Sejeong and Nicky egg them on. Oriâs got this chip on his shoulder the size of a whole Pringles can, and they just⊠they encourage him to do crazier and crazier stuff to prove himself.â
Mina leaned back, taking another bite before responding. âLet them have their fun. Besides, that chip on Oriâs shoulder has done a lot for us. Heâs helped get us out of some tight spots these last two years.â
âOh yeah? Like what?â Flint asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
Mina gave him a knowing smile. âLike when you got detained by the police, and Orion showed up with all the paperwork and got you out within an hour.â
Flint scratched his head, chuckling sheepishly. âOh, right. I guess heâs not all that bad, then. But you gotta admit, the guyâs always desperate for a win. Any challenge that comes his way, heâs gotta take it. And now with Bunny egging him on, itâs like theyâre in some competition 24/7.â
Mina shrugged, her tone soft and understanding. âBut thatâs why they work so well together, donât you think? They believe in each other so much, they think they can do anything. And look at themâtheyâve made it happen. He pushes her, and she pushes him. He helped her win with her acting, and she helped him land that great job.â
Flint let out a sigh, leaning his head back against the chair. âYeah, yeah, youâre right. I just wish they could turn it off sometimes, you know? Not everythingâs a game to be won.â
Mina smiled fondly. âTrue, but then they wouldnât be the Ori and Bunny we love.â
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the soft clink of cutlery the only sound between them as they enjoyed their dinner. The evening felt peaceful, warmâa quiet moment that reminded them why they worked so well as a couple. Flintâs thoughtfulness, Minaâs easygoing natureâit all blended perfectly, creating a relaxed space where they could just be themselves.
As they were finishing up, Minaâs phone buzzed on the table. She glanced at it and squealed, her face lighting up with excitement.
Flint glanced up, amused by her reaction. âWhat is it, babe?â
Mina grinned, looking up from her phone. âSomiâs joining us for D&D tonight!â
âOh, word? Thatâs great,â Flint said, leaning back with a smile. âItâll be like a mini I.O.I reunion.â
âYessir,â Mina said, still buzzing with excitement. âThis is gonna be fun.â
Flint chuckled, seeing how happy she was. He loved these momentsâjust the two of them, enjoying a quiet evening, sharing excitement about something as simple as a game. It was in these little moments that he felt most connected to her.
Moving back to Sejeong and Nicky they are getting ready with the last few touches to Somi's character sheet, when they remembered they forgot to tell Orion and Bunny. Nicky makes the call.
The sound of rapid button-mashing filled the room as Orion and Eunbi faced off in their latest match of Persona 4 Arena Ultimax. Both were completely focused, their faces illuminated by the glow of the screen.
âCâmon, you really think you can take me down?â Orion teased, not looking away from the action. his hands dances around the top of his hitbox like a delicate dancers or the practiced measure of a trained pianist.
Eunbi shot him a sidelong glance, fingers moving furiously across the controller. âPlease, Iâm about to wipe the floor with you. You just wait.â
The match was close, each of them going through their block strings trying to crack the other's defensive options and abilities. The tension between them was palpable, but it was playful, electricâboth a challenge and an invitation.
Just as Eunbiâs character moved in for what she thought was a finishing blow, Orion grinned. âToo slow.â
He executed a perfect counter, watching as her health bar dropped to zero. The words K.O. flashed across the screen.
âWhat the hell!â Eunbi shouted, throwing her hands up as Orion burst into laughter.
âVictory is mine!â Orion crowed, leaning back against the couch with a smug grin. he cracked his knuckles with a relaxed ease.
Eunbi narrowed her eyes, not at all fazed by the loss. âAlright, big shot, that was pure luck. Rematch. Youâre going down this time.â
âOh, you think so?â Orion shifted closer, his voice dropping as he playfully taunted her. âYou really think you can handle me, babe?â
Eunbi raised an eyebrow, leaning in to match his energy. âPlease, I think I can do more than handle you. Just watch.â
For a second, their eyes locked, and the air between them sparked. Their teasing was more than just competitionâit was the way they communicated, the way they challenged and pushed each other, both in games and in life. Every match was a test of will, but also a way to get closer. In this heat, they kissed, as their passion melted shifted from the game to just the love of each other.
But just as the heat was beginning to light, Orionâs phone buzzed on the coffee table.
Eunbi groaned as Orion broke the kiss, rolling her eyes. âYou better not answer that.â
Orion glanced at the caller ID and sighed. âItâs Nicky. I gotta pick upâcould be about the D&D game tonight.â
She sighed, leaning back into the couch. âFine. But you owe me a rematch after this.â
âDeal,â Orion said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before answering the phone. âYo, Nicky, whatâs up?â
Nickyâs excited voice crackled through the speaker. âHey, just wanted to update you. Somiâs joining us tonight for the session. Sejeong and I just finished her character sheet a few minutes ago.â
Orion glanced at Eunbi, already imagining the chaos that Somi would bring to the game. âOh man, Somi, huh? This is gonna be⊠interesting.â
âYeah, buckle up, because we are doing a mega dungeon crawl tonight. See you tonight,â Nick added before hanging up.
Orion set the phone down and grinned at Eunbi. âLooks like weâve got a wild card tonight. You ready for some chaos?â
Eunbi smirked, grabbing her controller again. âOh, I was born ready. But first, Iâm kicking your ass in this rematch.â
Orion laughed, already leaning in for round two. âLetâs see if you can back up that talk, Eunbi.â
And with that, they dove back into the game, the competitive energy between them as strong as ever, their passion fueled by every challenge thrown their way. After finishing up another set their alarm to leave went off, and they decided to finally get ready to go to Sejeong, and Nicky's home. On the way the grabbed pizza for everyone. Â
the couple neared the door and Ori turned to Eunbi"you ready?" Orion asks Eunbi as he carries the pizzas inside.
"Always. New Campaign new me." Eunbi replies confident. Orion nods and follows her in as she holds the door open for them as he sets the pizzas down.
"Yay you brought food." Somi said excitedly before going up to Ori and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Eunbi glared subtly at the gesture before moving between the two "So you must be Somi. Ivan's girlfriend." she said coldly
Somi nodded before tilting her head noticing Eunbiâs Evangelion hoodie.
It did little to hide her figure but it brought Hyewob more in line with Somi's mental picture of her.
"Yep that's me Ivan's best girl," Somi said happily. Ivan has told me a little bit about you but I am curious. How did you get into this kind of stuff,"
Eunbi still dealing with her surging jealousy, gripped Orion tight, "Well Ori invited me a few weeks ago and Sejeong and Nicky have been super kind. so I stayed."
Somi smiled, "Yeah that's our leader, always so kind."
after that, everyone gets their character sheets and settles in.
"You all awake in a tavern," Sejeong says but is interrupted by a knock on the door. Sejeong gestures for Ori to open it and is surprised to see Mordenkainen.
As Orion got up to open the door, the atmosphere shifted, and everyone looked on with curiosity. He swung the door open, expecting maybe one of their friends to arrive lateâbut instead, a figure in long, flowing robes with a shock of white hair stood there, eyes gleaming with an intensity that sent a chill through the room. It was Mordenkainen himself, looming in the doorway with an expression of absolute outrage.
âOhâŠwow,â Orion stammered, trying to hold onto his usual bravado. âUhâŠcan we help you?â
Mordenkainen's gaze swept across the room, his intense eyes narrowing. "You⊠you have the audacity to play a game based on the lives of my friends and family? This is no laughing matter!"
The group exchanged confused glances. Nicky, who was co-DMing with Sejeong, took a deep breath, trying to regain some control. âUm, sir, weâre just⊠weâre playing a friendly game. This is just D&D, you know?â
Mordenkainen stepped inside, his robes swishing as he approached the center of the room, his voice resonant and thunderous. âA game? This⊠trivialization of my worldâof the worlds beyond yoursâis disgraceful! You mock battles that tore through realms, people who fought for their lives, stories bound by sacrifice. And you reduce it to dice and⊠pizza?â
Eunbi snorted, half amused, trying to hold back a laugh, but a sharp glance from Mordenkainen silenced her. Even Orion, usually the bold one, shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.
âListen,â Flint began, trying to reason with the imposing figure, âweâre not trying to insult anyone. Weâre just⊠inspired by your world. Itâs kind of a compliment?â
âCompliment?â Mordenkainen bellowed. He raised a hand, and with a snap of his fingers, the lights flickered, the walls trembled, and a portal swirled into existence, casting an eerie blue light across the room.
Sejeong, whoâd been completely silent, finally found her voice, âOkay, hold on. No need for drastic measures. Weâll⊠uh⊠stop playing? We donât want any trouble.â
âOh, youâll stop playing,â Mordenkainen said, a dangerous glint in his eye, âbecause youâll be living it.â
With a wave of his hand, a flash of blinding light filled the room. Everyone felt a rush of wind and a strange tingling sensation as if they were being pulled apart and reassembled at the same time.
When the light faded, they found themselves sprawled on the ground, groggy and disoriented, their clothing now replaced with fantastical garb. Orion glanced down at his attire, light armor with a scary-looking axe strapped to his back. Eunbi stood beside him, equally stunned, decked out in flowing robes adorned with ancient symbols.
âWait⊠are we⊠are we in the game?â Somi asked, staring in awe at her new mageâs robes, a staff clutched in her hand.
Ivan, looking down at the armor that replaced his jeans and T-shirt, could only stammer, âThis⊠this canât be real. This⊠has to be a prank, right?â
Sejeong checked herself over, now clad in the resplendent armor sheâd always envisioned for her character, a high-ranking cleric. She looked at Nicky, who was equally stunned, holding a bardâs lute.
âOh my god,â she whispered, realization dawning. âThis is real. Weâre actually in the game.â
Mordenkainenâs voice echoed in their minds, seemingly coming from the sky itself, âPerhaps now, youâll understand the gravity of the worlds you toy with. Prove yourselves worthy, and maybeâmaybeâyouâll find a way home. Fail, and youâll be trapped here as characters in this world forever.â
The group exchanged a mix of terrified and exhilarated glances, the reality of their situation beginning to sink in. Flint and Mina stood close together while Ori held his head as a headache started ringing in his ears. Eunbi approached him concerned. He winced when she touched his head as visions of gods and monsters swam through his head.
Taking charge he said firmly, âWe should probably find the nearest town and find lodging before the night comes. The party nodded as they headed in the direction of smoke. That smoke led them to a town being overrun by skeletons resurrected by the evil Lich Nevinyrral. The group was first attacked but a quick reaction from Sejeong she took out a holy symbol and the skeletons turned away expeditiously⊠or they would if it weren't for the radiant glowing Orion who slammed into another one and crushed another with his mighty great axe. He was able to clean up the rest as he turned the skeletons to dust. They noticed a dual inscription on it but none of them (except Ori) spoke or read the language.
After the battle, the remaining townspeople praised the heroes. They stood wary of Ori however due to his scarred face and body until the rest pushed him to the front.
"You saved us Why?" the mayor asked wary of the Scourge Aasimar with Dark red spots covering his body.
"Well we needed lodging and food for the night before we continue our journey. that's kinda hard when everyone is dead." Ori said.
The mayor laughed and said, "Well at least you all are practical. If you're not to opposed the church house can serve as your base of operations. if you so chose, since our god has abandoned us. We will bring food for you as well." The group noded then headed to the house of the Jade Seraph. the approach the church house solemnly, but as soon As Ori enters. He sees visions of more gods and battles causing him to collapse.
As their characters' memories merge with theirs Eunbi speaks up, "He's getting worse. What do we do?" Sejeong sighs and does another calm emotion spell on Ori hopefully stopping the progress of his ailment at least a little bit.
"We better find that Mage fast!" Flint asserts. Mina, Somi and Ivan nod before all finding places in the monastery. Ori finds a quiet corner to sleep in away from the group.
After settling in at the Jade Seraphâs monastery, Mina and Flint exchanged a glance, silently agreeing that they needed to get out for a bit. Flint leaned in close, whispering, âLetâs take a walk around the town. Maybe we can find out more about this world weâre stuck inâand get some alone time too.â
Mina smiled and nodded. She grabbed his hand as they slipped quietly out of the church house, leaving the others to recover and set up.
Outside, the town was still tense but slowly beginning to relax after the recent skeleton attack. Torches lined the cobblestone streets, and a few market stalls were cautiously reopening, their owners eyeing the streets warily, but there was a hopeful buzz in the air after the groupâs intervention. The cool evening air and the faint smell of wood smoke brought a sense of calm to Flint and Mina as they wandered hand in hand.
They stopped at a small food stall run by an elderly woman selling what looked like hot skewers of spiced meat. Flint bought a couple, handing one to Mina with a warm smile. She took a bite, eyes lighting up as the taste hit her. âWow, this is⊠actually really good,â she said, savoring the smoky, peppery flavors.
Flint laughed. âGotta say, I didnât expect food to taste this good here either. But Iâll take it. Now, if only we could figure out how long weâre going to be hereâŠâ
Just then, a tall, cloaked figure approached the stall, catching their attention. Flint subtly pulled Mina a bit closer as the figure ordered in a low, gravelly voice. Curious and cautiously friendly, Mina leaned toward him. âExcuse me, sir. Weâre⊠new in town. Could you tell us whatâs been going on here?â
The figure turned, revealing the face of a battle-worn man with a weary expression. He looked them up and down, nodding. âYouâre not from these parts, are you? I can tell by your garb.â He cleared his throat and continued, âThis town has been plagued by the dark magic of Nevinyrral. Heâs a lich whoâs been terrorizing the villages on the outskirts for years now, resurrecting the dead to do his bidding. Every few months, he sends his skeletons to wreak havoc and remind us of his power.â
Minaâs eyes widened. âAnd⊠the gods? We heard the people talking about a god abandoning the town.â
The man spat on the ground bitterly. âThe Jade Seraph, our patron godess, hasnât answered our prayers for years. Some say sheâs left us for good, while others whisper sheâs been captured by Nevinyrral himself, his powers drained for dark purposes.â
Flintâs hand tightened around Minaâs. âDo you know of anyone in town who might be able to help us? Someone with knowledge of the gods, or perhaps even magic?â
The man glanced around cautiously, then nodded. âSeek out Elara, the townâs herbalist and a follower of the Old Ways. She has knowledge of magicâmore than she lets on. Youâll find her on the edge of the forest, near the willow grove. But be careful. She doesnât trust strangers.â
âThank you,â Mina said, dipping her head in gratitude. She exchanged a look with Flint, excitement and apprehension in her eyes. âWeâve got a lead now,â she murmured as they continued walking.
As they made their way to the forestâs edge, the townâs rustic charm was replaced by an eerie quiet. Shadows danced beneath the trees as they approached a small, ivy-covered cottage with lanterns lighting a narrow path. Inside, Elara was mixing herbs when she noticed them standing hesitantly at her door.
âStrangers,â she said, her tone wary but intrigued. âYou seek answers. Why?â
Flint stepped forward. âWeâre not from here. We were⊠brought to this world by magic, and now weâre looking for a way to go back. But it seems thereâs more going on here than we realized. We want to understand this place, to help where we can.â
Elaraâs gaze softened. âIf you wish to learn, then enter. But understand that knowledge here often comes with a price.â She motioned them inside, and they followed her, exchanging a brief, reassuring look.
The air inside the cottage was thick with the scent of herbs and old parchment. Elara gestured for them to sit, and as she began to tell them more about the lich, the townâs lost god, and the ancient magic that bound their world, Mina and Flint listened intently, feeling as if the pieces of a larger puzzle were finally beginning to fall into place.
For the first time since theyâd arrived, they felt a glimmer of hopeânot only that they might find a way home, but that they could make a difference here, maybe even defeat Nevinyrral himself.
As Mina and Flint slipped out, the remaining group settled into the dimly lit corners of the monastery. Ori sat by one of the worn pews, his back against the cold stone wall, looking drained and uneasy. Eunbi noticed him from across the room, a thoughtful look on her face. After a few quiet moments, she made her way over to him, sitting down beside him and resting her hand on his.
âHey,â she said softly, breaking the silence. âHowâs the head?â
Ori exhaled, his gaze fixed on the dusty wooden floor. âFeels like Iâve been caught in a storm I canât see. Visions, memories that arenât mine⊠They just keep flooding in.â He looked at her, his eyes clouded with confusion and something elseâfear. âBunny, I donât even know whatâs real anymore.â
She reached out, gently cupping his face, brushing her thumb across his cheek. âWeâre here, Ori. Right here, together. Thatâs real.â
He leaned into her touch, a small measure of comfort slipping through the tension he was holding onto. âItâs not just the visions,â he murmured, voice barely audible. âI feel⊠different. Stronger, but also⊠angry. Like thereâs something in me I canât control.â He clenched his fists, and for a second, they glowed with a faint, radiant energy before dimming again. âItâs like Iâm becoming something else.â
Eunbi laced her fingers with his, squeezing his hand firmly. âI get it. I donât have whatever this new power is like you do, but I feel like⊠part of me is changing here, too.â She paused, her own vulnerability showing. âBeing here, seeing you go through this⊠It makes me think about what we have. What if we donât get back home? What if this is all weâve got?â
Ori looked at her, eyes softening. âThen⊠weâll make this place ours. If this is where weâre meant to be, weâll find a way to live and be happy, no matter what.â He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, his hand lingering. âBut if we get back, I want to make sure I donât leave anything unsaid. I donât want to waste time, not with you.â
Eunbiâs breath hitched, and she held his gaze. âMe neither,â she whispered, her hand sliding up to his shoulder as she leaned in. âI donât want to hold back anymore, Ori. Not in here, and not out there.â
They shared a kiss, soft and lingering, a grounding force in the whirlwind of uncertainty. For that brief moment, the world around them faded away, leaving only the warmth between them, a promise that even in this strange, unfamiliar place, they had each other.
When they pulled back, Ori sighed, a bit of the tension easing from his shoulders. âWhatever happens, Bunny⊠you and me, weâll face it together. I promise.â
She nodded, her expression resolute. âTogether.â Ori nodded as Eunbi brought him in for a kiss. her hands cupped his face gently as they kissed again. Eunbi smiled.
"You smell so nice. Like Oranges Vanilla ice cream" she said. Ori smiled as they kissed, again. his hands found purchase on her chest.
"No matter the world you still drive me crazy, and I love you," Ori said.
Eunbi smiled as she undid her armor and dress before saying, "prove it."
Sejeong and Nicky settled by a low fire in the monasteryâs quietest corner, their voices hushed. Nicky leaned in close, his expression tense. âWe really need to talk about Oriâs backstory. If weâre actually in this world, then⊠well, his 'Creator' might actually exist out here, and he could be looking for him.â Sejeong looked over at Ori, who was resting uneasily in a far corner, shrouded in shadows. âYou mean the necroalchemist,â she whispered. âThe one obsessed with ascension? With turning one of his creations into a god?â âYeah,â Nicky nodded, his voice barely audible. âRemember, Ori was his closest success. He wasnât just made; he was made to be perfect, to force a kind of unnatural divine evolution.â Nickyâs voice grew even lower. âIf the Creator is here, heâll be hell-bent on finishing what he started.â Sejeong shivered, the weight of the situation sinking in. âSo if Oriâs backstory holds true here, itâs not just a dangerous worldâitâs a hostile one. One that might see him as either a target or as a prized possession. Weâre going to have to protect him, and⊠well, heâs going to have to face things he never signed up for.â Nicky nodded slowly, his eyes on Ori, the weight of their shared responsibility settling on them both. âWeâll watch his back. But we need to prepare him too⊠there are things even he doesnât know about his origin, and if we donât tell him soon, the truth might catch up with him before heâs ready.â Sejeong clenched her jaw, steeling herself. âAlright. When the time comes, weâll make sure he knows.â
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flips and shit (katsuki bakugou + reader)
notes: more stuff inspired by things that happen in my kitchen. name me me attempting to flip scallion pancakes. it's been a while since i had one of these actually. part of the kitchen adventures series. mostly unedited.
wc: 1k
contains: gn!reader, pro-hero bkg (not actually mentioned) neighbor au.
You have never asked Bakugou to teach you anything before.Â
Mostly because thereâs never really been anything youâve actually wanted to learn. Despite his griping, you think you're honestly a pretty decent cook. Sure, you may prefer taking convenient shortcuts over doing things the proper way, but it's not like it's the worst thing in the world. Still, Bakugouâs taken it upon himself to teach you in order to prevent you from committing what he considers to be kitchen atrocities. Admittedly, your knife skills have improved and you donât hear your fire alarm going off as often (which you suspect is more due to Bakugou changing the whole thing himself in a fit when it dared to screech as he was broiling some fish during one lesson), but there are some things, like your instant miso soup, that Katsuki Bakugou can pry out of your cold dead hands.Â
âHah?â Bakugou whips his head around to face you, his expression twisted into his own special brand of confusion, eyes narrowed in an aggressive form of bewilderment.Â
âCan you teach me how to flip things in a frying pan?â you repeat slowly.
His mouth twists, âWhy? Usinâ a spatula not good enough for you?â
âIt's not that,â you say. Bakugou shoots you an expectant look and you clear your throat as you elaborate. âIt just looks cool is all.â
 âYâgot bigger things to worry about than lookinâ cool in the kitchen. Whyâre yâworrying about that kinda crap anyway? Got someone to impress?âÂ
Grumbling, you say âNot really, but since you mention it, it would be nice if I were able to impress my smartass neighbor even just once.â
Bakugou snorts. âMaybe yâd impress me if you finally threw away those damn instant soup packets! I taught you how to make it yourself! Why do you still have them?â
You roll your eyes. What about cold dead hands does he not understand? You try to get the subject back on track. âAre you teaching me or not?â
He stares at you for a minute before shuffling past you into the kitchen proper. âFine. Even an idiot like you should be able to do this much.âÂ
Feeling smug, despite his insult, you follow after him, watching as he pulls out your frying pan from a cabinet. Heâs come over enough that heâs familiar with the layout of your kitchen, no longer needing to ask you where you keep this or that. Itâs nice in a way, though youâre not entirely sure why. That said, you canât help but be confused when he grabs one of your kitchen sponges and tosses it in the pan. Is heâ
âBakugou, Iâve got some frozen scallââ
âWeâre using this first!â he barks at you. âNo point in risking you flipping perfectly good food onto the kitchen floor!âÂ
You wince. It wouldnât be that bad. Youâve tried flipping things before and the worst thatâs happened is that the pancake flipped over on itself.Â
Bakugou moves over to the stovetop, his arms gripping the frying panâs handle. You stare at his armâ heâs in a black t-shirt today. The sleeves are loose, but you can see the defined shape of his arm muscles, from the near scandalous peek of his biceps down to the taut lines of his forearms. Maybe youâre staring a little too much, though, because you donât quite catch what he says as he flicks his wrist.Â
âWhat was that?â you ask. You could try to wing it and guess what his instructions were based on observation alone, but if you get it absolutely wrong heâll scold you.
Though, since itâs Bakugou, heâs going to scold you either way. âAre you even listening?â
Now you are. âYeah?âÂ
He eyes you suspiciously, but doesnât mention if he noticed you oogling his arms. âSo all you gotta do is just flick your wrist, but yâgotta do it like youâre shoveling dirt or some shit.â He does the motion a few times to show you, and you think you get it. Itâs kind of like a flick and scoop. Watching him do it makes it seem easy, but youâve learned that Bakugou makes a lot of things look effortless.Â
He flips the sponge a few times before handing you the frying pan. The handle is still warm. Gruffly, he says, âNow you try.â
âOkay.â You try to mimic his motion, and the sponge goes up⊠but just falls back onto the pan without flipping over.Â
âWeak,â Bakugou scoffs and you scowl at him, but he ignores you as he continues. âTry again, idiot, but put more force into it.âÂ
âOkayâŠâ You do as he says and the sponge flies higher⊠before flopping onto the floor. Too much force.
âNot everythingâs gonna weigh the same,â Bakugou says. âYâgonna have to judge how much force to use for yourself.â
Right. You reach down and grab the sponge to put it back in the pan. Itâs pretty light. You flick your wrist a couple times, not so much to flip but to get a feel of how much force youâll need to flip it. When you think youâve got an idea, you move your wrist and swoop your arm a little, sending the sponge up. It flips over and while it does catch the edge of the pan it still manages to land in it.
Grinning widely, you turn to Bakugou. âLook! I did it!âÂ
âBarely,â he says and while his mouth is curved down in a frown, thereâs a sparkle in his eyes that makes it look like heâs trying to fight off a smile.. âDo it again! Make sure the flip is perfect this time!â
âOkay!â You try again and after a couple times you manage to flip the sponge perfectly. When you look at Bakugou for approval, he gives you the ghost of a smirk back, this time looking almost legitimately pleased.
But it only lasts for a moment before he switches out the sponge for a slightly heavier package of instant ramen.Â
âTime for the next level, nerd,â he says, his eyes glinting dangerously. âWeâre not stopping til every flip is perfect!âÂ
#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bakugo x you#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x you#mha x reader#nikuniku fics#OKAY NOW BACK TO DEKU
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hii omg out of curiosity... could u do a scara with a bratty virgin reader who teases him too much thinking she can get away with it. if that suits ur tastes that is đđ
Of course! I may not fit the entire idea of a brat myself, but I've been told I can act a little cunty now and then so I think I can do this one fairly well.
Scaramouche was just another annoying superior you had to obey. All the harbingers were pretty much the same in the aspect that they viewed YOU as lesser than. Which technically you were by law of Snezhnaya but that wasn't YOUR fault. You were only stuck working as a subordinate for the height deficient harbinger called The Balladeer because your stupid slut mother had gambled away a HUGE loan while she was pregnant with you and instead of taking responsibility, she fled the country and hadn't been seen since you were like 6.
But the fatui weren't just going to forgive a debt that large simply because of a disappearance. No.
A group of fatuus soldiers had knocked on your grandparents door one day, led by Scaramouche. They were given three options.
1: Pay off their daughter's debts.
2: Die.
Or three...
"Give the oldest girl over and have her work it off in her mother's name." Was what the pretty faced yet slick tongued bastard had said.
Your grandparents had recently been put in charge of your half brother too as authorities had taken him from your mother's home due to excessive drug use on her part. He was just a little kid, barely 4. YOU on the other hand were now a young lady. A young adult.
He needed your grandparents.
You had had a wonderful childhood already.
And so you bowed your head and agreed to go back with The Balladeer and his cronies to the fatui headquarters and officially join the ranks.
It wasn't that bad actually. Scaramouche didn't actually seem to care or not if you didn't do your job. But you were clearly the only exception as you often watched him treat others with a cruelty that bordered on ruthlessness.
Not that it was your problem.
You often sauntered into his office late at night to chat with him. Not that he ever stopped you.
"Hey Scara what's up? Ugh you really should get better lighting here. It looks so ominous!" You bitched as you hopped up onto the edge of his rather grand looking desk and looked down at him while he worked.
"Hey let's hang out for a bit! That stuff is just boring work things anyway! I never do mine!"
He grunts.
"I know."
You pouted as you tried to scoot a little closer to him.
"ugh you're so lame today! And here I thought a harbinger as mighty as yourself could multi-task easily! It appears I was mistaken!"
Scaramouche rolled his eyes at your behavior.
"leave. I'm busy right now."
You were feeling agitated now.
"no! I've been waiting all day to hang out and now you're ignoring me!?" You turn completely around so your legs fell over on his side of the desk now. Crossing my arms as I stubbornly stand my ground.
"I'm not moving until you at least look at me you stupid meanie!" You whined.
The pen in Scaramouche's hands suddenly snapped in half. Ink splashing across the tabletop caught your attention.
"I said leave."
"make me!* You stick out your tongue and pout even more at his tone.
"it's not like you're actually gonna punish me for being here like anyone else! Stop being such a big meanie!"
Suddenly his hand was around your throat.
"Is that what you tell yourself bitch? How amusing." He squeezed your neck. Just enough to make you dizzy as you felt Scaramouche rip open the front of your buttoned white blouse.
His eyes quickly looked you over with a predatory hunger.
"you're alright I guess. For a human anyway. You'll do."
You squeak in terror as he tears off your bra next. Gently running his fingertips across your nipples and causing them to harden. as your breath hitches in your throat, you feel an unfamiliar warmth in your panties at the sensation.
He then shoved you back onto the table top.
"h-hey what are you doing? Stop this at once!" You squeak anxiously. Being almost frozen in fear as you feel Scaramouche roughly lift up your shirt and expose your panties to his smug looking gaze.
"what? Not so tough now that you finally realize how insignificant you are?"
He traces the outline of your wet slit through the dampened fabric.
"how pathetic. Acting all bold and yet you're already shaking and getting excited before I've even touched you."
Scaramouche easily tears away the delicate fabric as he spreads your knees wide for him. He kneels down and closely takes in the sight of your exposed sex. Gently pulling your folds open to give him a better look at you.
You feel his cool breath against your inner labia as you begin to tremble.
Finally something clicks for him.
"oh? I see you've never been had yet. It's almost funny Y/N, at your age? Seriously? What?"
He pinched your clit softly
"too shy?" His raspy tone bordered on a seductive growl as you feel him rub little circles on your pleasure nub.
"ugh it's not like I haven't had chances before! I just didn't care for anyone enough to want to do that stuff!"
Your words were met with a jeering cackle as Scaramouche simply sighed and slowly began to ease two fingers into your unbroken entrance.
A strong ache filled your body as you moaned softly and saw blood drip onto his palm as you struggled to raise your head and see what he was doing at first.
Immediately he shoved your head back down and kept a firm grasp on your throat.
"stay still sweetheart. If you don't relax, it's going to be excruciating."
You felt him begin to slowly start thrusting his fingers in and out of your tight pussy. Successfully popping your cherry as you blushed deeply and tried to muffle your cries using your hands.
He leans down and gives your clit a gentle lick next. Teasing you now as you whimper at the new feeling. More warmth filling your lower abdomen as you feel your legs tremble while Scaramouche continued to lap at your untouched bud. Deliberately trying to draw out the strange rising feeling in your tummy. You cry a little as you finally dare speak.
"Please... stop this... I'll pee!" You wail pitifully as his eyes took on a seductive look.
"That's not what's about to happen sweetie ~ don't worry, you're about to feel really good, I promise ~"
He released your upper body and began to focus more on stimulating your tight cunt as he fingered your sensitive walls and continued to gently suck on your clit. Giving it a little bite now and then that made your legs tremble.
Finally you feel your lower abdomen tighten. Your insides pulse as you feel yourself squirt. Scaramouche swallows every drop almost eagerly as he continues to tongue fuck you through your orgasm.
Only when you lay breathless and exhausted upon the table before him, does he finally free his rather large cock from the confines of his shorts, pressing the tip teasingly at your entrance.
"You were all bark just an hour ago bitch. Now you're just a whimpering mess. What happened?"
You felt Scaramouche slide his dick into your pussy then. The thickness stretching you beyond capacity as you wince and feel yourself whine a little.
"Do you realize your place now cunt? Maybe this will teach you to talk with a little more respect towards your superiors."
He began to slowly thrust into you then. Your oversensitive cunt spasming with every thrust as you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist.
Scaramouche leaned down to steal a kiss too. Shoving his tongue into your mouth as you held onto him. Swallowing up your cute and girlish moans of pleasure and pain as you dug your nails into his back and felt him quicken his pace.
He fucked against your cervix as he continued to press your knees upwards more as he got closer to finishing. Bringing your knees practically beside your head as he got a little rougher then. Forcing you into a sick mating press position as he claimed your virgin womb for himself.
Scaramouche groaned and bit your bottom lip a little as you felt him pour his hot seed into you after what felt like the longest hour of your life. His sadistic smirk widened as he pulled out of your bloody cum filled cunt.
"This will be your new job from now on. Don't bother refusing. You still owe me a debt. " He stuck his fingers in your dripping depths again.
"however, keep being as obedient as you were tonight and this sweet cunt might just pay it off sooner than you think."
#genshin impact#wanderer#wanderer x female reader#wanderer smut#genshin impact smut#smut#genshin smut#wanderer x reader#genshin wanderer#scaramouche smut#scaramouche#scara x reader#scaramouche x reader#scara#scaramouche x female reader
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Hide it - Matt Sturniolo
Summary: in which Matt hides his feelings for you, but eventually canât take it anymore.
Warnings: fluff, cursing,
A/N:
Matt couldnât hide it any longer. He couldnât hide his love for you. His feelings were hard to control when you were around. It was sickening. He didnât say anything about it, because he didnât want to hurt you or ruin the friendship you guys have. It was too important for, but he also couldnât stuff his feelings away any longer. He was in love with you and that was a problem.
Every time you hang out with Nick Mattâs in the room. Heâs always staring at you, but when you turn to look at him he quickly turns away. You didnât think much of it, until things changed. Matt started acting weird. He was always stuttering around you and didnât have proper conversations with you.
You had come to the tripletsâ house to make some pictures with Nick. The house was mostly quiet, only soft sounds were heard from Mattâs room. He was most likely playing fortnight. You sat down on the couch, waiting for Nick to return from his room.
âOh hey y/n..â you suddenly hear a voice say. You look at the figure, itâs Matt. A small smile forms on your face as you wave at him. He freezes at your smile, regretting his decision of coming out of his room. He was already getting nervous at the fact of his crush being infront of him. Suddenly a wave of confidence washes over him. It was now or never. âY/N i canât do this anymore.â He says, swallowing.
âCanât do what?â You ask, looking at him in confusion.
âI-â he runs his hand through his hair. Thereâs a moment of silence. He doesnât know what to say. He canât just say âhey im in love with you! Can we make out?â can he? Another deep breath leaves his mouth as he tries to get himself together. âFucking hell..â He holds his breath as he looks into your eyes to see any kind of reaction. âCanât you see how obsessed i am with you?â A surprised sound leaves your mouth. You donât say anything for a while, surprised by his confession.
âJesus Y/N, say something please.â He begs. His nervousness gets worse within seconds. Did you hate him now? âI- you like me?â You ask. Realization hits you hard. He actually likes you. Your mind goes blank at the thought, all your thoughts vanishing. He slides both his hands into his pockets, hiding how badly heâs sweating.
âYes Y/N and im tired of you not noticing! I tried everything to make you look at me, yet itâs not working.â He groans mentally, blaming himself for raising his voice at you. âSorry⊠i-â he starts, but gets cut off when you slam your lips against his. This kiss was everything he needed. Everything he needed to know you had the same feeling about him and it was amazing. It wasnât passionate, just full of love and desperation.
Your hands slide into his hair, gently pulling at it to get closer. His hands go down your sides, gripping you tightly. You slowly start backing up into a wall, which he does too. Then he pulls back to get some air. You look up into his blue eyes, smiling. He smiles back almost immediately, wiping your hair out of your face. âThat was..â he chuckles, still a hit breathless. âSo fuckinâ amazing.â
Suddenly you hear a laugh behind you. You turn around to see Nick standing there. He had watched the whole scene and was laughing by it. Matt rolls his eyes, before looking away. âTook you long enough, kid. Will you stop bothering me now youâve kissed the girl?â Nick smiles, before looking at you. âHe wouldnât stop talking about you. Seriously. It was so tiring.â
A small smile forms on your face. You look at Matt whoâs now filled up with embarrassment. âIâll leave you guys alone. Letâs do the pictures another time, alright?â Nick suggests. You nod, knowing you need time to let this sink in and spend some time with Matt.
This was gonna be great.
no nut november fic 3! I hope yall like thisđ (also i wont be posting as much since i need to learn for assignments and stuff</3)
#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo fluff#fluff#no nut november#nnn
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hi. guy who works adjacent to this field as a day job here. typically these are three documents. specific laws vary by state (so some of what i say here may differ). prices of these documents vary by practice. but never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever do one of those "easy online docs" because in most cases they aren't legally valid and do not permit you to write specific clauses.
lawyers are like doctors in that they specialize in different fields of law. you are looking for a "wills and estates" or an "elder law" lawyer. all of these documents will need to be notarized (by a notary) for a small fee. most law offices have notaries in-house. shop around if you can - ask what different offices charge for a set of three docs and compare prices.
only the original document, on official letterhead, with a notary seal is a valid legal document. you can have copies of a document for reference purposes, but copies alone are not sufficient for actual legal purposes. always keep your originals somewhere safe, like a safe deposit box at a bank. i'm serious. not a drawer, not under your bed. these documents must be kept safe from fire, water damage, theft. because if they are destroyed or missing, the state rules that you never had documents at all, and it defeats the purpose of having them made in the first place. unless there is a local law in your area that prevents it, insist upon taking your original documents so you can decide where and how they are stored, rather than being trapped in some lawyer's office
always go to a lawyer for updates on documents. hand-written addendums (like last-minute wills scribbled on napkins) are not recognized by law in most states, and even in states where they are, the validity is often contested because these are not witnessed/notarized, so it's hard to know if they are authentic or staged.
Power of Attorney - A person (or persons) of your choosing has access to things like bank accounts, real estate, business stuff, medical records, etc. while you are still living. Often, elderly persons seek out POAs (usually their adult children) to help handle their affairs, but generally it is good for a person of any age to have one for emergencies so they can advocate on your behalf. POAs can be fired by you at any time, and are held accountable by law should they violate this document.
Medical Directive (also called "Medical Power of Attorney" or "Living Will") - This is a document that grants power to a person (or persons) of your choosing to make medical decisions for you if you are unable to communicate (example: coma, brain death). You designate whether or not you want to donate organs, whether or not you consent to life support, etc. - and it is up to your agent to ensure that your wishes are respected.
Will - The document most people know about. It determines who inherits your estate after you die, who your executor is (person in charge of estate), any distribution of material objects/properties/money, etc. - also if you have any specific requests.
your documents can be updated as many times as you deem necessary. and, in fact, should be updated throughout your life depending on circumstance. your ex husband should not be your Medical Directive agent, for example. maybe you don't want to leave a generous donation in your will to such-and-such organization because they turned out to be bigots. but if your documents hold up five, ten, twenty years from now... if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Before January 2025:
If you are a USAmerican in a relationship that might be affected by legislation that dissolves same-sex marriages, who may no longer be recognized as next-of-kin, especially if you have children, get your rights in writing!
Your marriage certificate may not be enough to prove you have rights to make medical decisions for non-biological children or for a same-sex spouse or partner.
Go to a lawyer, get it spelled out as clearly as possible that you have a voice in emergency medical and legal situations.
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JJ x feminist reader when Kamala loses
bro don't even I can't fucking believe it. I'm so sorry american pals and gals, my heart actually bleeds for u (if you're a trump supporter respectfully depart from my blog, I hate him <3)
"No."
"What the fuck-"
"No, this can't be happening-"
"What the actual fuck-"
"No!"
It's like your body is possessed. You stand to your feet and stare at the television like you're watching a train wreck happen before your eyes. And you are. Because Kamala lost, and Trump won.
"And the forty-seventh president of the United States-" the stiff faced newsreader relays "-is Donald J. Trump."
"Fuck!" JJ shouts. He grabs for his beer bottle and lurches it towards the television. The glass shatters against the wall. You drop back down onto the sofa as if you're legs have lost all their strength. Your head falls into your hands and your eyes squeeze shut. It's like a nightmare. This can't be happening.
"This is fucking rigged! It's fucking rigged, I swear to God!" JJ is rambling, angry and heartbroken, almost as much as you. His arm flails out to the television as if personally condemning it for giving this news. "He's a fucking criminal! A fucking criminal and he gets voted in again!"
But it scares you. Scares you in a way that JJ doesn't understand, a way that he would never understand. He lost the power once before, let it slip through his fingers, and you have an awful feeling that he's not going to make that mistake again. Roe versus Wade flashes through your head. Every pregnancy scare you've ever shared with JJ now comes with that extra, looming concern that if you are, if it is real, then you don't have any choice. Well, you do - you have the choice to risk an infection or even death whilst taking autonomy over your body and life. But what next? What could Trump possibly know of what it is to be a woman in America? What was he going to take from the people next?
JJ's arms wrap around you and he tugs you into his side. He presses his face into your hair and plants a kiss to your cheek.
"I'm so sorry."
Tears well into your eyes. "I fucking hate him, JJ."
"I know-"
"No," you snap, "you don't know, JJ. You can hate him but not like I do. Not like we do. I mean, the stuff he's said about women. The stuff he's done-"
You lift your head and meet JJ's eyes. There's the anger there, the rage held back by his sympathy. His jaw is tight but his lips are downturned. He nods. Sighing, you rub at your eyes.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't snap at you."
"Nah, I get it. It's scary."
"It's fucking terrifying," you agree quietly.
JJ presses a kiss to your forehead and you let yourself melt into him. The two of you sit like that on the sofa for a long, long moment. The television rambles in the background, reciting which state voted which party, and you want to scream. It was so close that you could almost taste it. A female president. Wouldn't that have been incredible? A female's perspective. A female in power. A female for all the other little girls to look up to, to dream to be.
"Next time," JJ reassures, as if reading your thoughts like a teleprompter. "I promise it'll happen soon."
#jj x reader#jj maybank x reader#jj#obx#jj maybank#outer banks#outerbanks#outerbanks drabble#outerbanks blurb#outer banks drabble#outer banks blurb#jj drabble#jj blurb#jj x reader drabble#jj x reader blurb#jj x feminist!reader#obx drabble#obx blurb#jj one shot#jj imagine#jj x reader one shot#jj x reader imagine#jj maybank x reader one shot#jj maybank x reader imagine
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This is a weird one but you asked for weird lmao
Werewolf Chan (or anyone) where he turns while inside of you?
I feel like if itâs going to be a werewolf it has to be Chan, right?
This one actually flowed out of me, which hasnât happened in a while. No overthinking with this one. Just pure, unhinged filth!!!
MDNI // MDNI // MDNI
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Cw: bf werewolf chan, size kink, bulge kink, very rough unprotected p in v sex, so much cum, cream pie, bleeding, biting, scratching, aftercare (he tries, itâs endearing)
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You knew Channie was a werewolf for a while now. Youâd seen him change form often. Heâd go from cute, lovable boyfriend to wild and primitive wolf.
Usually when heâd turn, heâd have a plan in place. You had to shackle him to the bed so he couldnât escape. Then youâd keep your distance, save for checking up on him to ensure he hadnât broken free.
He was truly scary when he turned. From the pained look on his face as he transformed, to the animalistic growl that resounded through your house that had your heart racing. The claws that would grow that looked like they could rip you to shreds.
Then there was his cock. It would go from thick, delicious and veiny to horrifyingly enormous, heinous and brutal looking. It would still be veiny, only the veins were a lot more prominent, and the thickness made it look so so ugly so hideous. It looked like it could tear your cunt to pieces. And it made your mouth water.
This was when you realized you might be sick. Because sometimes youâd fantasize about what it might be like to be impaled on his huge werewolf cock.
Youâd think about it rearranging your insides, fucking you so good. You wondered if itâd hurt, and loved the idea that it probably would. And the cum? Fuck, how much cum would there be bursting out of the purple, angry tip?
You thought about what it might be like for him too. How tight your tiny, little human pussy would feel around his cock. How long would he last? Would you hurt him because youâd be so tight for him? Would it be a struggle to stuff it inside you? Would it fit at all?
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The time has come again for you to restrain him to the bed, and you go about it as per usual, helping him undress (because heâd ruin his clothes otherwise). But you canât get the image of his werewolf cock out of your head.
He lays naked on the mattress for you while you handcuff his wrists to the bed frame. You do the same with his ankles to the frame at the foot of the bed, and you lean over and kiss his mouth, one last kiss before he turns. He kisses you back, warm and passionately, then you pull away.
But instead of getting up to leave, you straddle him, and the more you think about your boyfriend turning, the wetter you become.
âBabygirl, what are you doing? You have to go!â He says worriedly with a confused expression.
But all you do is grind against him and whimper. He moans beneath you, and you feel him rapidly growing hard, and you lean down and kiss him again whilst continuing to seek friction against your clothed core.
âFuck! Please⊠you canât⊠you have to⊠fuck youâre making me so horny, babygirl.â
It makes you smirk against his lips. âChannie, Iâm so wet right now. Wanna feel me?â You purr.
He shakes his head âYou have to go! Please, itâs not safe.â He whispers desperately.
But you donât care about your safety. You sit up and remove your top, leaving you exposed from the waist up. Chan whines and tries to grind up against you.
Your little panties have quickly turned translucent from how wet youâve become as you drag your pussy over the length of his cock.
You can tell Chanâs resisting, the way heâs squeezing his eyes closed and turning his head away.
âI want you inside me, Channie. Donât ya wanna feel me before you turn?â You sigh.
âGod! Fuck! Yes!â He cries. âB-butââ
But you pull your panties to the side and sink down over his length. Heâs already throbbing and hard, so very hard. Itâs a stretch already, and heâs still human.
âSâdeep, Channie.â You choke, resting your hands on his chest to find purchase.
âYeah, babygirl? You like it when Channie fucks you good, even when heâs tied up.â He grunts as he thrusts his hips up into you hard, like heâs forgotten heâs trying to get you to leave.
âFuck yes, feels so good.â Your eyes roll back into your head when he hits that spot.
âSo horny, so needy for my cock⊠even when you know itâs dangerous, hmm?â He bites his bottom lip.
âYes.â You roll your hips slowly. âSo fucking horny. For your werewolf cock.â
You see him start to turn. The thrashing of the head against the pillow, the change in his eyes, the clawed hands in their restraints.
His body thrashes about too, and you are flung forward onto his chest. You have to hang on to his shoulders for dear life or youâd be thrown across the room.
A flicker of fear washes over you and you wonder if youâll survive this.
A loud, feral growl fills the room, and then you feel it - his cock rapidly expanding inside you, stretching you obscenely wide and lifting you off his hips because itâs too long. The hideous veins feeling like hard ridges against your walls. Your cunt is stretched taut around him.
âF-fuck!â You wail, as with every thrash of his body causes the tip to ram into your cervix.
You look up just in time to see the handcuffs rip from the bed frame, his legs freeing only moments after.
It all happens so fast. His clawed hands grip your ass cheeks, digging into the fresh and piercing the skin, drawing blood. He spreads your ass and then violently slams you down further onto his cock.
The air is jolted from your lungs as he flips you so youâre on your back and heâs on top of you, caging you in. He pins you down and pushes your legs wide and plunges into you brutally.
âToo deep, too much!â You cry out and peer down to see a bulge in your lower belly. You come just from the sight of what heâs doing to you and your body shudders underneath him.
He notices when your orgasm hits, and he growls in approval before doubling down and fucking you harder.
He pulls out suddenly, and the emptiness is almost to much to bare, your cunt settles down to itâs usual state, but you are still too empty.
You need your werewolf Channie to fuck you within an inch of your life.
He flips you back over, like a ragdoll, forcing your face into the pillow, and lifting your hips to meet the tip of his cock.
Heâs back inside you, chasing his own orgasm, leaning over your back and biting at your shoulder. Youâre bleeding there now too.
You scrunch your eyes up tight and fist the sheets in your hand. How much more can your body take? Yet you donât want it to end. Your mouth hangs open and drool is pooling on your pillow.
It feels like heâs fucking you for hours before he loses all control, lifting you so your back is flush to his chest.
He bounces you on his length while he gropes a breast. His other hand finds your clit. Just like your Channie to bring you to the precipice one more time before he cums. You practically scream the house down as your entire body shakes and tremors and tears stream down your cheeks.
With a loud, animalistic growl, he fills you to the brim. Thereâs so much cum you think itâs going to burst your insides open, and when he pulls out it gushes out of your gaping cunt.
You collapse on the bed, panting, sweating, dribbling, leaking and bleeding. But werewolf Chan has calmed down and he starts to lick your wounds, calming and soothing them.
You catch him eyes and he looks worried. He thinks heâs hurt you. Bravely, you reach out and stroke his furry muzzle.
âItâs okay, Channie. Felt so good.â You smile wearily. Youâre exhausted. Too exhausted to go clean yourself up, so you just curl up where you are, avoiding all the wet patches.
Channie curls up behind you, snuggling in and wagging his tail.
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You found that werewolf Chan was rather calm after fucking you like that, and you learned that given the chance to get all that pent up wild energy out of him, he would just curl up with while you watched tv, or while you worked on your laptop.
So from then on, everytime Chan would turn into a werewolf, youâd have sex and just hang out at home.
You didnât need your restrain him anymore (except for when you wanted to of course).
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A/n: if you enjoyed this, please consider leaving a comment and reblogging đ
And⊠feel free to send an ask, my ask box is open for hard thoughts.
@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @fun-fanfics @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @armystay89 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @justforreaders @melochacco @scenuniverse @oddracha @galaxycatdrawz @jiminssluttyminx @kayleefriedchicken @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @dool-set-net @redstayrosie @mintymintmint251 @katsukis1wife @delulustardust
#bang chan smut#werewolf chan#skz smut#bang chan x reader#chan smut#sorshas after dark ask box#after dark ask box
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obsessed with kirishima in that new sero series ngl,,, if you ever want to or decide to write, i'd love to hear abt kirishima and reader hanging out- or just how they are with each other. how they became friends etc etc
anyways,,, how have u been miiiint how's it going ;w;
on her knees, his mom smoothed his hair down one day and told him he had to be friends with the girl across the hall. the city was still half built from after the war, his own cuts healed, yet pink.
"you're such a sweet boy," she mumbled, with a kiss on the forehead. "go be sweet."
and so, he was marched over, box of sweets in hand.
"i'm eijiro-" he uses his given name when you answer the door, instead of the family one labelled outside their door. "my mom made these for you."
You don't reach out to take the box. he's afraid you're about to back up and close the door when you shake your head.
"you d-didn't need to do that," you whisper, ducking away from eye contact. Oh, he thinks. That's why his mom sent him over here.
"it's cool!" He pushes the box forward and you gingerly take it, "My mom loves to do stuff like this."
You bow, just a dip of your head, and Kirishima gets a view into the apartment. It's smaller than his family's, with the living room right by the front door and the walls glossed with pink posters. There's a bookshelf packed with figurines and manga.
"whoa." Kirishima gapes. "your parents much really like anime."
"Oh, uh-" You shut the door a bit, trying to block his view. "I-it's just me. I like anime."
"Your parents let you decorate the apartment? That's so cool."
"no, it's just me." You still can't meet his eye. "My parents live out in the country side and it's too far away from my school."
It's not uncommon for students to get apartments near their high schools, but Kirishima thinks it's a strange choice for something as skittish as you. Living by yourself, in the middle of the city, while they rebuild it all: he doesn't know if he could do it.
"That genius school down the road?" Kirishima points in the (probably incorrect) direction. It's not UA, of course, but it's just as competitive to get in. "You gotta help me with math sometime-- I'm drowning."
For the first time, you smile.
"I am not a genius," you say. "But I can take a look."
-
Thursdays turn into tutoring sessions. You're a year behind him in school, but a year ahead of him in math, which makes you a tough grader. Kirishima thinks that you might actually be a genius sometimes. His mom pays you in warm meals, his dad irons your uniform for you when he has the time.
It fills the gap leaving the dorms left in his social life.
"don't you get lonely?" he asks one night, sitting in the middle of your apartment. the faucet leaks, a constant, drip, drip, drip, that your dad promises to fix the next time he can make the train ride over. "your friends from school never come over."
you've scribbled little Xs across your piece of scrap paper, each one tiny and dark, drawn with a shaking hand.
"yeah," you say, "it's okay. they're just busy, i guess."
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