#Like I feel like Link was very isolated at the start of this mess
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skyloftian-nutcase · 3 months ago
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I am a little late so I probably won’t get the date I want (my birthday is in August) but for the prompt could I get pre botw Link being comforted? If not totally fine, just feel free to reply to this and tell me no XD
Link knew this new task would be difficult. He’d steadily been gaining more attention, feeling the increasing pressure of the world’s expectations on his shoulders. But when the king himself had appointed Link to be the princess’ personal knight…
He’d been honored to take the task. The other Champions had congratulated him (well… almost all of them. He didn’t particularly care for Revali’s approval, though). But the princess herself…
To a degree, Link felt like he sort of understood. She felt pressure too, honestly. He just wished she wouldn’t take it out on him. He just wanted to be able to do his job.
Sighing heavily, he rubbed his face tiredly. Princess Zelda was thankfully in safe hands now, as they were visiting Van Ruta and Zora’s Domain was one of the safest places in Hyrule Kingdom. It also gave him a chance to just relax somewhere familiar - Link loved exploring all of Hyrule—it was one of the benefits of this position—but he was always on edge when they were somewhere foreign. But the Domain was a second home to him.
There was so much comfort in this place. The smell of water was heavy in the air, a cool, comforting, crisp sensation. Link could taste the moisture, could see how the water played with light reflecting off its surface, patterns dancing on pillars and luminous crystals. The area glowed beautifully in the night, like a gentle light from magical creatures, protecting them from the dangers of the world.
He also knew all the best places to hide.
Zora’s Domain was deceptive in its layout. It looked like a fairly small place, but there were many nooks and crannies for children to find and disappear, and Link had found nearly all of them when he was little. It allowed him some privacy now, for which he was grateful, as he tried to find somewhere that he wasn’t perceived.
He’d had enough of that lately. He was tired. Tired of being stared at, tired of being judged, tired of constantly being on guard, tired of being yelled at for just doing his duty.
”Link?”
His eyes opened abruptly, and he felt his chest tighten a little. The voice was familiar, soft and warm, and he glanced over to see Mipha watching him.
Oh, well. At least it was just Mipha who found him, he supposed. He didn’t mind her company.
Link and Mipha had been good friends when they were little all those years ago. They’d had adventures, taught each other to fight, and had joined the Big Bad Bazz Brigade. At the time, it had been innocent fun. As Link learned more of the political climate between the Zora and Hyrule over the years, he’d realized how much he’d missed. His friendship with Mipha was still dear to him, but when they’d first seen each other years later, he’d been far more distant, far quieter. It was how he’d grown and matured anyway, but with the added knowledge…
They were trying, he thought. Mipha could talk to him, and he even occasionally replied. In solitude, the pair could rekindle that friendship from long ago. He felt comfortable around her.
“I suppose I wasn’t the only one who wanted to find somewhere quiet,” Mipha remarked with a small laugh, trying to be light about the matter. As Link looked her over, he noticed she looked a little tired too. “It can… I understand that everything can be a bit much. That you might need to go somewhere to be alone. I can leave—”
Face softening, he pat the space beside him. Mipha hesitated a moment, unsure, before she settled there.
“It… can be a lot,” she said softly, glancing at him.
Link sighed. Yeah. It could.
“I’m glad we have each other, at least,” Mipha smiled cheerily, hands clasped in her lap. “But I’ll be quiet now. I know this is a place for solace, after all.”
Link wanted to tell her she didn’t have to be quiet. But she didn’t seem particularly upset with the matter, either, and she leaned back, closing her eyes and looking at peace. And somehow… that made it better. Neither of them had to talk. Neither of them expected anything of the other. But they were there for each other, and Link… found more solace in that than he expected to.
He leaned towards her a little. Just a little. She did the same. Their shoulders never touched, but they could feel each other well enough, eyes closed, basking in the moment, taking in the peace of it.
It was nice to be in the Domain.
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headspace-hotel · 2 years ago
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so, in regards to your recent posts on kane-tucky and usa food industry, do you / how do you keep active hope and not slip in into apathy and "looking out for my own" get out of dodge mentality? im having a hard time articulating this, but what makes you not curl up into a shaking mess in anger resentment and a deep desire for change that likely, if ever, wont happen in our lifetime.... any advice is appreciated
The short answer is "getting out and doing stuff in the real world, educating, volunteering, whatever is within your ability"
I will add that "looking out for your own" is not...bad. Like I don't know precisely what you mean by this phrase, but it's actually very important to come to terms with the fact that your impact is strongest where your feet touch the ground, and you have a responsibility and relationship to the people immediately around you, the place immediately around you.
This has not been a popular opinion of mine in the past, but...you can't and shouldn't care about literally everything on the planet. There is of course huge global disparity with access to resources and aid networks, and the largest communities we belong to are: all of Earth and the whole human species.
However: your level of agency is so low with issues that are happening on the other side of the world from you, compared with issues that are happening in your home town. And we're seeing people just get completely burned out from compassion fatigue without ever doing shit because the global responsibility is pushed on us and the local responsibility is not.
I hated my hometown for a decade. In high school I wanted so badly to leave. It's one of those desolate-feeling towns that's developed enough for a shopping center and big chain retailers but not enough to have a sense of community or a single bookstore. I've never been able to place myself precisely along the urban-rural spectrum because I feel isolated from even isolation: there's nowhere to go that doesn't feel razed by human development, where you can't hear the noise of traffic on roads, but it's all cattle pastures, sprawling storage facilities, auto parts stores, big, empty churches. One wrong turn will put you in a dark valley where there are rotting, derelict trailers on cinder blocks hidden back in the woods, and this place has that same feeling of "nowhere to go."
And I felt paralyzed by everything bad happening around the world and the fact that I was just one person, and I had gotten the horrible impression that the only thing I could do about anything was vote and donate money to links I saw online. The worst lie the internet taught me was that in saving the world, nothing matters except Power, Money, and an unclear third category that involves throwing bricks at cops.
But I touched grass. And the weeds taught me something. Do you see the parking lots, the harsh pavement and gravel and brick? I saw. I was surrounded by this landscape of brutal, totalitarian surfaces, impermeable concrete locking the soil away. But in the cracks in the surfaces, dandelions, purslane, and spurge were thriving.
I observed that the spurge stretched out like a shaggy rug and padded the concrete surfaces. The old leaves of the dandelions, as they withered, caught bits of dirt as it flowed into drainage ditches after rains. Soil was forming, and the sprawling structure of the early weeds seemed specially adapted for the task. In older cracks, more plants moved in; I found a wild ruellia blooming in a paved road, an evening primrose. And in some places, seedling trees.
Have you seen what happens when a sidewalk is left unmaintained for years? It disappears. The roots slowly buckle and break it into pieces, and it vanishes beneath lush leaves and moss. A tree growing in a crack in concrete will slowly pry the slab apart.
This is how my IRL rewilding project got started—just pulling plants from the pavement cracks, raising them in pots. I was surprised and awed at the resilience of the plants. I found little trees in concrete with at least two years' growth on them, that had survived being mowed down multiple times.
The weeds changed my viewpoint on the world forever. Up until that point, certain facts about power and politics and money had seemed like law, but I'd suddenly seen that there was a deeper magic.
The dandelions' survival made it possible for others to survive, which in turn made even more life flourish. They could not demolish and remove the concrete and pavement, but they could overcome it by refusing to be destroyed, because the power to take care of each other is in their nature.
People have made fun of me for telling others to go plant a tree. I think culturally we have this ingrained dismissal of things like that due to the twee, cutesy associations of "tree hugging" environmentalists, except in this instance it's because planting a tree is pointless in light of something something systemic issues, not because climate change isn't real, or...whatever reason people have for finding environmentalists cringe. (That is kinda sus now that I think about it.)
And I'm not saying planting a tree will fix climate change. I'm saying that something in my brain had broken and planting a tree unbroke it.
Go outside. Touch grass. Do the work in the immediate community you belong to, in the place you are in, where you have the best and most impact. We have the power to take care of each other, and that power grows stronger the more we are cared for.
The internet is a good place to share information, but that's fucking it. The real stuff, the stuff you can touch with your hands, the stuff that will heal despair, is out there in the real, touchable world. You need to see and feel what you are doing. Don't just give help—accept it. The power to take care of each other is in our nature, and by nature we can give more when we thrive as a result of others' care.
I hope this helps.
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ossidae-passeridae · 11 months ago
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I'd be fascinated to hear more about gnosticism in tlt if you ever feel like writing about it.
I honestly don't know what's already been written r.e. gnosticism and TLT, so might be reinventing the wheel here, but I'll do a brief description of the overarching themes present throughout the books?
The uh, first layer of the gnosticism onion, as it were.
So to start this off I'm going to give a broad and at least partially incorrect overview of gnosticism:
Gnosticism is a tenth century mess that's loosely based off of Christianity, but then gets Weird. Thanks to some fun political situations in the Gulf, the Christians in the South were isolated from other Christians for decades thus spun off wildly from "mainstream" Christianity. We mostly have fragments left, and a lot of them contradict each other, so working out exactly what they believed/meant is Very Fun and also Somewhat Impossible. (Like the fragments of documents left in Canaan House, you could say...)
That being said, parts of their beliefs we do know better than others. They have the bible, of course, but on top of that they also have this pre-Bible creation myth regarding how God came to be in the first place.
It goes something like: In The Beginning there was a sort of primordial god-soup. This god-soup occasionally emits binary pairs of entities, also known as aeons and (later) twin flames. These binary pairs are two souls made for one another and with one another, and together they are balanced, and perfect, and full of Holy Light(tm). Each binary pair had one grammatically-masculine name, and one grammatically-feminine name. These names do not necessarily relate to perceived gender, and in fact the binary pairs are often referred to as if they are Beyond Gender Altogether. (*stares pointedly at the Lyctors*, *stares even more pointedly at Gideon's name*) [I could probably write a whole thing on this alone, honestly, they're sometimes referred to as like, the fingers on God's hand which, yeah.]
Anyway, in this pure and godly space, there is no matter, only Holy Light. But one of the entities, known as Sophia, goes off on her own and interacts with the shadowy chaos that exists outside of the godly soup. She's half of a whole, unbalanced. And through her meddling she (unintentionally) creates another half that's not pure and holy and full of godly light, but instead a dark reflection of what he Should Be. This is generally referred to as the Demiurge.
Unlike all these other beings, the Demiurge is made of matter. He is the first thing of matter to exist and he looks around the void that he's birthed into, bare aside from him, and concludes that he and he alone is God. (Hi Jod)
Then he makes earth, and heaven, and a bunch of other things besides, the things we know as the universe today. In the immortal words of Douglass Adams — this has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
The problem is — all of these things that the Demiurge has created are made of matter. And being made of matter, they're cut off from the light of Godness (which is incorporeal and made of Pure Energy), thus inherently flawed. What's more, they're never meant to have existed in the first place. The Demiurge is tormented by his failure, but unable to create anything that is not inherently Wrong. (oh look it's the Nine Houses, I'd bet money that there's a link between being cut off from Godly Light and the Nine Houses being the only stable thanergenic planets here)
Sophia, who has watched these unintended consequences unfold and the suffering they've caused, cannot undo what's been done, but she can descend into the material world to share the light of wisdom and try to alleviate what suffering she can. So she does.
The story culminates with Christ being born and teaching all of humanity Gnosis — a special, mystical knowledge that can only come from the Divine, we are not really given specifics here — before he's sacrificed in order to make humanity's ascent beyond their material prison possible.
So that's the broad strokes of gnosticism as a religion, and also first layer of the TLT gnosticism onion. Just the really broad spectrum thematic *waves hands around* Stuff. I've refrained from speculating on the end because until Alecto comes out we really don't know.
If you want anything more specific anon, let me know?? I've been in the gnosticism soup for so long I can't always tell what's common knowledge and what isn't.
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stjohnstarling · 3 months ago
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Hello! Love 'What Manner of Man'! It inspired me to make my own vintage gay story myself!
But I'm having an issue with outlining, since outlining a novel feels more close-ended than a longer-form serial novel is.
Do you have any advice? Or resources, etc?
So you have no way of knowing this, but I am actually obsessed with story structure. It’s maybe the part of storytelling I’ve spent the most time consciously working with, so sorry in advance because I’m about to go on a dubiously helpful monologue. It’s a bit tricky for me to answer about resources, since the things I used when I was learning have been lost to the sands of time. That being said I have a couple pieces of advice:
If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t be afraid to find a template. I wish I could link you a good one but I don’t have any on hand. When I was first learning to write novels, I actually found a few different standard novel structure templates and used them to outline a bunch of novels I never intended to write, as practice. Bad and silly ones that were just fun to play with, where there was no pressure to write anything I’d ever want anyone to see. My background is in music, so my instinct when I don’t know how to do something is to isolate that element and practice it on its own, and it’s never steered me wrong.*
But more than that - what you’re feeling as closed-ended is that you’re trying to write a story with structure, as opposed to one that is mostly improvised. I remember feeling this too, when I first started exploring writing novels, but this is one of those cases where limitations are actually what gives you freedom.
Structure is part of the artistry of storytelling - just like poetry has forms like sonnets and sestinas, and songs have verses, bridges, and choruses. You know intuitively the structure of a pop song, and that heightens the pleasure of listening to one as you anticipate the build up to the chorus. Stories are like this too. The structure is an important part of the audience’s enjoyment of the final piece, whether they know it or not.
I’ll give an example. Season one of AMC’s The Terror is a piece of fiction that is structured with some serious artistry, above and beyond just good craftsmanship, its structure is a crucial part of how it creates meaning. As a result a lot of what its fans do is analyze it for parallels in its storytelling. I don’t think many of them would articulate what they enjoy about it as “this is a well structured story,” but the structure is actually one of the main things the fandom engages with.
More than any writing resource, the best way to learn is to study and analyze stories you admire - why things are put in a certain order and why events fall at the points in the story that they do. When are you anticipating, when are you experiencing catharsis, where in the story do those things happen? Explore widely! You don’t have to limit yourself to novels! Movies are great for getting a basic understanding of how you can structure a story because the time and space requirements they’re subject to mean movies tend to be very rigidly structured. There’s no time to mess around like there is in long forms of fiction like novels.
I encourage you to embrace structure as a part of the art and a potential tool for expression and beauty! I can’t tell you how rewarding it is.
*I am aware that this advice does not work for a lot of people, so if it doesn’t work for you that is also perfectly fine! Everyone is different.
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crepes-suzette-373 · 9 days ago
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Ancestral Baggage
(sort of a part 2 of this)
Not entirely sure where I'm going with this. This is all probably a reach, so feel free to ignore this wall of text (it's even longer than the previous one, I htink).
Even though in the previous part linked above I said that the Germa Ancestors might not necessarily have wanted to reconquer the North Blue, I personally think they do.
To me there is something noteworthy about how Brook specified that the Vinsmokes conquered the North Blue with military power.
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I feel like just saying "conquering" already implies military power. If it needed to be stated specifically in the records that Brook cited, it might mean that their military is something to really pay attention to.
Considering Yonji also said that they've been a kingdom of science for generations, I think there's two possibilities:
1) Their scientific research has always been about weaponry and military related. Therefore, even 300 years ago they had insanely advanced weapons, which made them powerful enough to take down an entire quarter of the world
2) They used to be just a warrior/military kingdom, but after being destroyed they switched to scientific research to make up for the lack of manpower and resources
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I personally think it's option 1 right now.
If this is indication that the militaristic environment in Germa is not recent development, then the probability that Germa's royalty has been consumed by an obsession for revenge and/or restoration of their kingdom for 300 years since their destruction is not low.
In the previous part, I mentioned similarities between Germa and the Shandians of Kalgara's time. When Noland found them, they're trapped by a certain "tradition" that led to the unfortunate practice of human sacrifice:
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I mentioned in the previous part that the Shandian ancestor seems to be actually a very advanced engineer, as they were the one who built the robots. But somehow they lost that (maybe in the void century), and over the long long years of isolation they became bogged down in a tradition without knowledge of anything different.
Germa is rather similar to that. After the destruction of their original land, they're isolated from most of the world for 300 years.
What if in that isolation they started to develop this extremely militaristic tradition where even the slightest weakness is not tolerated? Like, maybe at first they only did that for survival, and everyone are encouraged to be stronger just so that they can live. But then maybe a few decades down the line, it got corrupted into just an absolute intolerance for "weakness".
This dialogue sounded like a genuine question from someone who doesn't understand anything different:
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Maybe this is just how Germa has been like for decades past. Maybe even if Judge had been someone else, this whole mess would still have happened because that's just how it is there.
But going back to Kalgara. The tradition that their ancestors passed down is not all bad. There's also the poneglyph that they continued to guard:
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I have been curious if there might be some secret in Germa that is kept strictly a secret only for the king.
Reiju never mentioned the ancestors when talking about the goal to reconquer North Blue. Maybe she just didn't think it was necessary to bring it up, just like how she never said the bracelets are fake until the very last minute. But it's also possible that she just doesn't know.
Maybe, only the king and the king's heir have the right to know the full scope of the past. In which case that might be why there's something very strange about Ichiji (case 1, case 2, case 3, case 4). Various people have sensed that he's hiding something, we just don't know what.
Maybe he knows something about Germa that none of the other siblings do. Except that with his modifications, he just don't care about the ancestors the way that Judge does.
This is also going into very conspiratorial territory, because this only works assuming all the above to be true, and this is a bunch of "what ifs" piled on top of another, and if one is false this just doesn't work anymore.
Whole Cake broke this ancestral baggage that I like to call "the ghost of 66". As I detailed above, I think that Germa developed a very harmful mindset and environment because of whatever happened 300 years ago, and eventually the people just aren't able to understand any other point of view.
That argument:
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And this statement combined:
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Sounds similar to this to me:
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Judge claims that he was doing this for the sake of the departed ancestors. Yet, in doing so he's sacrificing the living for the sake of the dead. Or, sacrificing the present and future for the sake of the past.
He expended himself and basically destroyed his family for that.
It was similar to how Kalgara almost sacrificed his daughter because of tradition, and how the villagers almost killed Noland's men because of their reverence for their ancestors. In the end, though, Noland's sincerity and actions managed to change the Shandians' minds. He was able to make them realise that the people who are presently alive is the most important.
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Sora didn't immediately succeed the way that Noland did, but thanks to Sora's actions making Sanji the way that he is, it led to everything that happens in Whole Cake.
After that, there's already various indication of Germa changing course, even if there's no on-screen declaration of it like with the Shandians.
This, obviously:
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And by all accounts, it looks like Neo MADS was just meant to be all for Science to be better than Vegapunk. While we don't know what they will do now that Vegapunk is technically "dead", it looks like the issue of North Blue conquest and/or revenge against the other kings is just completely dropped.
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The theme in the more recent arcs of One Piece is "know the past, learn from the past, but put it down and move on to a new era". The ghost of 66 is gone. Reiju and the other siblings basically never had any investment in that "ghost". They were just roped into it by Judge.
If Judge is gone or dead, they'll be the "new beginning". Killing them all off kind of goes against the theme.
Plus, again, it really looks to me like there's something actually plot-important in Germa. I'm convinced they'll be back, and this time in a non-awful way. You know, similar to how Buggy and Crocodile are kind of just... hanging around like that and nobody really considers them a threat anymore.
End delusion.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading.
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cdroloisms · 1 year ago
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c!Dream and early aid for Pogtopia
(i promised this post so long ago rip)
There is a lot to say about c!Dream and the Pogtopia/Manberg era, especially because so many events in this period of time define the future of his character in very long-lasting ways. Much discussion has been focused particularly on the Vassal discussion and c!Dream's loyalties after--today, though, I want to focus on c!Dream's priorities before that discussion and what they might reveal about his goals.
First, I want to quickly link my post I made on c!Dream during the L'manburg Revolution, which establishes a few of the key c!Dreamisms that influence my read of him particularly pre-November 16th. Second, I want to point to a clip in the drodcast that emphasizes that the reason why c!Dream switched sides to Manberg was for the story's sake and in-universe therefore only happened because of the revive book deal, further indicating that the character had no prior intentions to turn against Pogtopia.
All that being said, there are a couple main points I want to make about (how I interpret) c!Dream in early Pogtopia.
c!Dream was already pretty obviously acting alone/isolated at the beginning of this arc
c!Dream was always genuine in his support for Pogtopia
There is more reason to believe in c!Dream's assertion that he wanted "L'manburg to be something" than the opposite
Starting wth point one, I think it's important to acknowledge how c!Dream emphasizes the idea of secrecy repeatedly during the beginnng of the Manberg/Pogtopia arc. He talks about how he has to provide support "from the shadows" in the Tyrant book, and he expresses similar sentiments when he gives supplies to c!Techno around this time as well. At the very least, when he was supplying aid at this point in time, he was pretty damn obviously acting alone--we see this as the arc progresses as well, when c!Dream helps c!Tommy in the Battle of the Lake and when he meets with Pogtopia during Vassal, for example.
Of course, acting alone doesn't necessarily mean isolation, although taking on a big + potentially dangerous task alone can lead to feelings of isolation regardless of that fact, but if we take a look at c!Dream at this time...sure he has friends, and people he's friendly with. But in terms of actual allies, he's kinda been on his own? c!George was decidedly part of Manberg due to the coalition at the start of the arc, and as far back as the Elections we see him claiming that he was "under Dream's rule" to explain that the decisions weren't his own in the Revolution.
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Even though c!George obviously does not have high opinions of Wilbur and Tommy and their whole deal re: independence, we also see that no one really protests when c!Dream is called the "leader of tyranny."
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And outside of this one debate, when we look at the actual events of the server...c!Dream enters into a few conflicts after the Revolution, all of which were not initiated by him. In these conflicts, he repeatedly has his items used as blackmail against him w/ the discs being the cited justification in a lot of cases (discs that were, once again, legally traded to him). And as far as these conflicts go, in terms of actual allies? There's really no one consistent at all? c!Sapnap outright teams with c!Tommy to get Dream's stuff until he turns on c!Tommy when he realizes opposing Dream isn't a good idea for him. c!Dream gets pulled into c!Sapnap's mess with the Pet Wars and therefore helps him hide their pets when the fight escalates--but at no point does c!Sapnap really outright support c!Dream in a conflict that involves him. c!Skeppy is also out here mostly in it for his own gain and was the one to steal Spirit's leather (from his. grave 😭) in the first place, like. Consistently, when c!Dream is involved in an actual conflict, he acts alone--before the Manberg/Pogtopia arc even begins. Mix in the fact that L'manburg was largely seen as an independent entity despite its technically being a part of the Dream SMP (and therefore Dream having to act accordingly) and the way that like the fandom, the L'manburg Revolution's aftermath brought in a lot of new members that further solidified the narrative in-universe (just like how a lot of new fans joined after the L'manburg Revolution, especially bc of the SAD-ist animation, which all served to solidify the l'manburg = heroes connection in the fandom as well) and the idea of c!Dream as the "bad guy" of the Revolution went relatively unchallenged (along with c!Eret, who obviously never shook the title of traitor.)
c!Dream was lacking in consistent allies and largely dealt with conflicts involving himself alone pre-Manberg/Pogtopia (gestures at how it's me and you against Dream was reiterated repeatedly), and when Manberg/Pogtopia began he had even more reason to act by himself. He was acting against the peace treaty by helping Wilbur and Tommy in Pogtopia, and a lot of the people he knew were friendly with or outright were a part of Manberg (George was a literal part of the government at the beginning, Karl was looking for wherever he could get an advantage, Sapnap is. Sapnap and shit was happening like the Battle of the Lake which literally involved kidnapping Niki, as well as other things)--c!Dream, at this point, is already used to working alone and had many reasons to continue doing so.
Onto point two: c!Dream was genuine in his support of Pogtopia throughout the arc until the point of the revive book deal. I want to point to the clip again from the drodcast, specifically how Dream says that before the conception of the revive book, c!Dream "literally switched for no reason we had no reason for me to switch [outside of the revive book]." This, plus the fact that what canonically does end up driving the decision to "switch sides" by publicly supporting c!Schlatt on November 16th is the literal revive book, all points to how c!Dream wasn't exactly going to side with c!Schlatt easily. It literally takes the whole ass revive book, the item that shatters his view of reality with its implications and was one of the central reasons why he had a paranoid spiral that involved him cooking up the prison for him to consider being on Schlatt's side.
Oftentimes, the arguments around c!Dream in this era and how he was manipulating the situation for his own gain boil down to two main moments where an assertion is made that c!Dream was playing both sides to make them destroy each other, those being Vassal and his speech to c!Eret on November 16th.
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The first excerpt, Vassal, happened in early October, and the latter comes from the famous conversation c!Dream has with c!Eret on November 16th. And from these two excerpts, it can seem reasonable to believe that c!Dream's intentions were in the realm of helping both sides destroy each other, especially considering his saying that his plan is "there is no Manberg, there's no L'manburg, there's no Pogtopia, there's just Dream SMP an there's Dream SMP everywhere." But--regardless of whether or not you believe this statement, regardless of whether or not he wanted L'manburg gone from the beginning of this arc, it's undeniable that his actions do not support the claim that he was always planning to help Manberg to sabotage both sides.
The only reason why c!Dream helps c!Schlatt, and by extension Manberg, was the revive book. And this is made quite explicit both in and out of character. This man was calling Manberg L'manburg to Manberg's goddamn cabinet, for god's sake. As soon as the deal with the Election results go down, c!Dream aligns himself with Pogtopia. He supplies Manberg no aid until after the revive book deal and literally warns Pogtopia when he switches sides???? Even the claim that he wanted the two entities to destroy each other doesn't reflect the reality of him knowing that destruction would come at c!Wilbur's hands from the TNT, not from the fight between Manberg/Pogtopia in itself.
Even if you proceed with the reading that c!Dream wanted L'manburg dead and gone and wanted that from the beginning, he quite clearly was helping Pogtopia against Manberg in order to facilitate his goals and was not helping c!Schlatt until the revive book forced his hand.
The third point is the one most up for debate/based on interpretation, but I believe that, based on the information we have, it is more reasonable to believe that at the beginning of Manberg/Pogtopia c!Dream had no plans for the total destruction of L'manburg and didn't necessarily see that as one of his end goals for the server than to say that the opposite is true.
For one, going back to the revolution, c!Dream--even then--didn't have total annihilation of L'manburg as his end goal. He goes into that war knowing that he would give them "technical independence"--allowing them to exist as an entity, hell, allowing them to have 'independence' in some form (although obviously he finds the whole "we are our own server now actually" situation ridiculous). If there was ever any time to pursue the total destruction of L'manburg as an entity, it would've been then, before L'manburg was ever firmly established.
If we take c!Dream purely at his word (a dubious thing to do for sure, obviously, mans is a liar--but at the same time, c!Dream at that time was also a man that was known to generally keep his end of the deal) then c!Dream's motives at the beginning of Pogtopia are quite clear: the Tyrant book establishes the reasons why he opposes c!Schlatt, that he was able to maintain peace with L'manburg but did not feel that the same could be true as long as c!Schlatt was leader, and that "Schlatt is no Wilbur."
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Later on, in Vassal, he reiterates these points, openly mocking c!Schlatt in connection with democracy and once again stating that he doesn't see Pogtopia as the bad guys + stating that c!Schlatt, unlike c!Wilbur, is unfit as a ruler because of his ambition.
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Later on, when outright questioned about why he supports L'manburg now when he was the one that famously opposed them in the Revolution, he says this:
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and obviously, right, he could be lying. I'm not discounting that. But it's rather notable, I think, that when it comes to c!Dream agreeing to give c!Wilibur TNT, that's in response to "I want to rig the city"--a city that, at that minute, was in enemy hands and a force that they were planning on fighting. c!Dream had pledged his allegiance to Pogtopia and specifically set a precedent of himself as an ally that would provide military aid and items (see: the gear he gives c!Techno and c!Tommy, Battle of the Lake, hell, he gives c!Tommy TNT literal minutes before Vassal while all but guarding him when c!Tommy is trying to antagonize Manberg in order to bring them back and keep them from discovering Pogtopia)--his support in this area does not, in my opinion, show clear support for the actual ideological reasons behind why c!Wilbur concludes he has to blow up L'manburg (and in Vassal, we actually see him push against those reasons several times, as shown below.)
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And again, whether or not you think his disagreement is genuine or if you believe he was just fishing for information/how serious c!Wilbur actually was, I'd say that his words and action in this scene do, repeatedly, indicate a level of hesitance. He is not jumping the gun as soon as the opportunity presents itself for him to get rid of L'manburg once and for all--he's being cautious. Assessing. So much so that c!Wilbur picks up on it and outright threatens him, which is also the point in the conversation where c!Dream stops arguing back against any of the points that he makes:
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And the point I'm making here isn't that c!Dream didn't want L'manburg to be destroyed when he agreed to give c!Wilbur the TNT. I think there does exist proof for this point, including whatever the hell Dream knew that Plan B had to happen...I'm so proud was supposed to mean, but that's not the point I'm specifically trying to make here. Rather, I think that until L'manburg's destruction is specifically brought up by c!Wilbur, there is little proof that shows c!Dream as specifically pursuing it/planning to get rid of it for the sake of a factionless server.
Sure, you can say that c!Dream's ideal server would've been a server without L'manburg on it. You could also say that c!Dream's ideal server at the time was a server where c!Tommy shut up abt the damn discs alread and a server where c!Sapnap stopped rampaging through the pet population on the server--there's a difference between "the ideal" and what he was specifically working towards. And the fact of the matter is, after the Revolution, c!Dream really doesn't have any conflicts with L'manburg itself. c!Tommy? Certainly--largely initiated by c!Tommy for the discs that he literally traded c!Dream during the revolutionary war. But c!Dream is hardly entering into faction conflict--he even says, in Tyrant, that they had peace between their two nations, and that it was C!SCHLATT'S election that disrupted that peace.
And c!Dream's particular dislike of factions is also something that I think has a tendency to get...overexaggerated? Especially because it's one of the foundational tenets of the L'manburg mythos--c!Dream is a control freak that opposed the idea of people getting together to make a "country" without him, etc etc. This is even something that is addressed in the Mexican L'manburg debates:
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c!Dream doesn't like factions, true. He'd prefer a united server without them, true. But c!Dream being pushed into taking action against any particular faction really didn't start from him just, hating factions in the first place? There always was some kind of inciting incident. By the time of post-Nov 16th, he quite evidently recognizes that factions are going to continue to be a Thing--he never has any outright conflict with the Badlands, for example, because they don't really engage in conflict with him--and later he practically ignores El Rapids even after the whole debacle that was Mexican L'manburg. When c!Dream says "look you guys were fine because you were just existing" in the Tyrant book and in Vassal, that fits the pattern of how he deals with faction conflict on this server? (See, also, how he generally doesn't go after factions post-prison, despite making some implicit threats: the only faction that he goes after is LN, and even if you consider the fact that he probably had bigger fish to fry with the whole, world reset thing, once again factions don't really matter to him until he's registering them as an explicit threat.)
The Revolution was meant to prove a point, the point being don't fuck with me--a point that c!Wilbur clearly understood and abided by. And after the Revolution, c!Dream really never shows any inclinations of wanting conflict with L'manburg or wanting it gone the way that we see that as more consistent trait later on by the time we get to things like the revive book deal, and Nov. 16th, and especially in his dealings with NLM leading up to Doomsday the unfinished symphony, right?
And, you know, all of this makes sense. c!Dream knows that L'manburg isn't just about L'manburg itself, considering the damn story of L'manburg was established by c!Wilbur in like, what, a day? c!Dream and the Americans (tm) were established as the Enemy even though half of them literally weren't involved at all in the drug van conflict (and members of L'manburg had. Literally fought with c!Sapnap in said conflict??) and L'manburg grew out of that story in almost no time at all. c!Dream has zero reason to believe that the destruction of L'manburg in entirety is even possible--he literally didn't think it was possible in the Revolution! c!Dream's priorities for the server isn't a factionless server, it's a peaceful server--not to mention how he literally saw L'manburg as part of the Dream SMP anyway? As long as L'manburg the entity wasn't starting shit (which they weren't, not until Schlatt got elected and everything went to hell) c!Dream really doesn't have a motive to try and Start A Conflict against them (which is antithetical to the whole peaceful coexistence schtick that he was trying to get at) and really doesn't have much of a reason to think that any of that would even work either, considering how he was quite confident that the L'manburgians would never give up when L'manburg was like. A week old.
Of course, with Vassal and with c!Wilbur going "let me destroy it all" it's obviously perfectly possible that c!Dream was thinking hey, the guy that all of L'manburg respects and sees as leader wants L'manburg gone, this could possibly lead to L'manburg being fully dissolved and the server going back to being factionless and united and for that to motivate his later actions in the arc and his support of c!Wilbur. But Vassal still has to happen first. There really isn't any reason to believe that c!Dream was gunning for L'manburg's destruction at the start of the arc, and c!Dream really had every reason to believe that that wouldn't even be possible (and I mean, NLM had rebuilt itself literally like. In the span of a week? So.) Based on what we see, the most that can really be said imo about c!Dream here is that he's being opportunistic, and even then he expresses a level of hesitance throughout Vassal.
Considering how c!Dream supported Pogtopia from the beginning and only ends that alliance because of the revive book deal and considering how he acted in the time period between the Revolution and Manberg/Pogtopia, I think it's fair to state that c!Dream's statements of his end goal being to return to the "peace" that had existed pre-Manberg through the coexistence of L'manburg and DreamSMP, one side believing themselves independent and the other side believing that they're all part of the same server, was. His original end goal when Manberg/Pogtopia began. He had every reason to support Pogtopia over Manberg (and by extension, Wilbur over Schlatt) when you consider how Wilbur generally was willing to play nice with c!Dream post-revolution, a sentiment rather clearly not shared by c!Schlatt and his expansionist ideals. Even if c!Dream would've preferred a server without L'manburg, his actions as far back as the Revolution indicate to me that the likelihood of his actually creating any plans in that direction is rather small and that his sentiments of returning the server back to how it was in its pre-Manberg state are close to the truth. c!Dream isn't stupid enough to think that destroying L'manburg outright would've suddenly resulted in server peace--destabilizing shit by making everyone mad at him at that point in time really seems antithetical to his goals? It seems more likely to me that c!Dream, in alignment with his goals, at this point would prioritize a peaceful server over a factionless one, especially at a time pre-Manberg nonsense when the whole "L'manburg is an independent nation that Matters A Lot To Everyone" is just so deeply entrenched.
And obviously quite a few important changes happen to his character around this time, especially due to 1) Vassal and 2) the Revive Book Deal. I think that these two in particular have a lot to do with the character that we see in November 16th (when c!Dream is already acting quite a lot more like how he will continue to act over the next two months up until staged finale, and when he's already a little bit more, uh. Unhinged than we've seen him, looks at his laughter when c!Wilbur detonates the TNT.) And obviously a lot of the important development that happens at this time (such as his spending time with c!Wilbur in Pogtopia + the. Everything with c!Schlatt, the book deal, shakes everyone about the book deal again) happens off-screen, so we have to speculate a bit. But at the end of the day, when c!Dream is considered in the context of who he was before Manberg/Pogtopia began as well as who he ends up being at the end of the arc, it definitely feels to me that these early moments shouldn't be as wholly dismissed as an act/front/lies what have you as they commonly are.
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fanfoolishness · 4 months ago
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Headcanons for Crosshair's healing, post-finale
I'm definitely hoping to write fics incorporating most or all of these, but if I wind up stalling out on them, at least they'll be preserved here! I'm also linking to some fics or art where I've addressed some of these points, if you're curious. :)
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In the immediate post-Tantiss aftermath, Crosshair is a foggy mess, between the shock and pain of his injury and the pain medication AZI has him on. He has some heart-to-hearts with his family here, but the vulnerability he shows during this time dries up once he's more clear-headed. Still, he realizes more and more that his family wants to help him, and will.
Once some of the major healing of his stump has occurred, he throws himself into helping his family build and furnish their new home (it's Star Wars and there's prefabs, so it doesn't really take too long, but it's a good distraction for a bit), as well as helping with simple things around the island like deliveries of things he can carry easily without a hand. He stays close to Omega when he can, feeling anxious when she's out of sight, something his brothers share.
The more routine and settled the days get, the worse his nights start to become. Nightmares of his time with the Empire, his imprisonment and torture on Tantiss, the terror and pain of losing his hand, and worst of all, Tech, start disrupting his sleep. He tries to pretend it's nothing, but his family isn't fooled. Decompressing from the absolute adrenaline rush of being focused on rescuing Omega leaves too much space for bad memories to start bubbling up, as well as unresolved grief.
Omega, realizing he's struggling -- and starting to struggle herself for many of the same reasons, which I could write a whole other post on! -- tries to get him to meditate with her again, but he brushes her off. No hand? No tremor? Problem solved, right?
AZI offers to work on a prosthetic for him, but he declines. Not because he's content with his arm as it is right now, but because he's afraid a prosthetic will shake, too, and because he still struggles with feeling like he doesn't deserve help.
He shifts into a depressive state with isolating himself from his family, eating poorly, and sleeping terribly. He spends a lot of time walking around with Batcher, and starts to notice some of the birds around the island. He still has moments of happiness, like when spending time with Omega, playing fetch with the hound, seeing his brothers doing well, or noticing the beauty of Pabu, but the instant the happy thing is over, the black cloud returns.
He resists any talk about Tech, even as his nightmares grow more and more to include his brother.
Until it's made clear that Omega is having a hard time, too, and modeling some of the same behaviors he is -- pulling away, clamming up, nightmares. It's when he sees her struggling that he realizes he still might not care about healing for himself... but if it could help her in some way, maybe he needs to try.
I haven't quite figured out the inciting factor for this next part, but something Happens, and Crosshair finally breaks down about Tech. I am envisioning something truly messy and painful. But when his family finds him and convinces him to talk, he finally starts letting it out. His guilt, his self-hatred in that Tech would still be alive if they hadn't tried to rescue him, that his message had had the opposite effect, that he didn't take the chance to come with them on Kamino or to go with Cody. He's worried Tech would be angry at him, would hate him for who he'd been in the Empire, for being the reason Tech died, and he's been carrying all of this for months.
His family is able to reassure him that Tech never stopped caring about him, that Tech would be the first to realize Crosshair had changed. And there'd be some very sweet moments where they remember him together, as a family. ;_;
The nightmares start to get better, and Crosshair asks Omega to start meditating with him again. It's not perfect, there are still hard days, but he starts being more social again, keeps up with the meditating, is better able to be there for Omega when she's having a hard time too.
With the guilt of losing Tech starting to heal, he can start trying to heal the rest of him, too. He works with AZI and Echo to try a prosthetic.
As he feared, it does shake, too, now and then. At first it panics him and he takes the hand off and doesn't try it again for days. But the others encourage him to try again, and as he keeps up with the meditation, the tremors get fewer. They still happen sometimes, but they are less distressing; if it really bothers him, he takes off his hand. He winds up wearing his prosthetic maybe 50% of the time, sometimes taking it off to relax and not worry about the tremors, sometimes taking it off just because he doesn't feel like using a second hand, sometimes just because it will always feel a little strange and he just prefers being without it sometimes.
Within a few months of using the prosthetic, he finds his old mirror pucks and builds a suncatcher out of them, taking an object of war and making it into something warm and artistic. Every time he looks at it, he remembers how far he's come, how he's becoming less and less defined by being a sniper, a soldier, every day.
Eventually, he and Echo do get word from Cody. Seeing him again is frightening -- remembering how badly he'd failed Cody when he had the chance, wondering if Cody will only see him as he was then -- but he's eager to show Cody how much he's changed. Cody for his part is still feeling guilt over the Order and his work for the Empire, and both of them are able to reassure each other and remind each other there is a path forward.
Within 2-3 years, Crosshair is doing far better. He still misses Tech terribly, but guilt and shame and repressed grief have changed into smiling when he talks about Tech, or quiet moments with rare tears when things are harder. He visits Tech's goggles sometimes, whether on his own or with one of his siblings. The messy breakdown and the knotty repression phases have largely ended. Nightmares are uncommon now, and usually soothed with meditation or talking to his brothers or Omega or Batcher. Like others have suggested he has probably taken up fishing as so many on the island do, but in his spare time he has started to appreciate the birds of Pabu, especially when he remembers how much Tech loved recording sounds. He finds recordings of several species on Tech's datapad and uses it to keep track of the birds he sees, feeling a little closer to his brother when he does so. His enthusiasm for the creatures rubs off on the rest of their family, too. He meditates daily; sometimes with Omega, but often on his own. Wrecker hates it and has fallen asleep the rare times he's tried it, but Hunter, to Crosshair's surprise, joins him occasionally. Batcher loves it and views it as part of her daily nap routine.
On trips home from the Rebellion, when Omega is frustrated or heartsick about losses or the odds they are facing, she knows she can always nudge her white-haired brother and say, "Want to meditate a bit?" And he'll say yes, every time. <3
Any thoughts? I do hope I get a chance to write all this out in fic form, but it was nice getting it down for my own edification :)
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Did I ruin a friendship/relationship I had with an ex-friend? AITA?
Back around 2021, we met through a mutual interest of ours, and all started out pretty well! He was sweet, he'd made me laugh, he'd shown time and time again that he's very caring, so we hit it off very well. I'd learned he dealt with an inability to read tones and felt himself unable to use empathy, which I related to - I had trouble with that too.
So everything was going well at the start. Then, we'd moved to a different website, if I recall it was Instagram, and that's where the issues began.
He'd begun learning about me, too. I felt I could trust him, and so I told him about a few issues I'd faced, how I could be people-pleasing at times thanks to me feeling inferior/disposable to others. He didn't like that whatsoever; he said in the angriest tone I'd seen him use; "I HATE people pleasers. God they piss me off."
Even after that, he seemed pissed at me. I'd shrunk. This passively reinforced my feeling of inferiority, hell it even established fear, so I begun apologizing and nodding along for me to feel safe again. It was odd, and I couldnt lie, I was a little scared of him now, but hey: "it was a one-off incident. It wouldn't happen again!" I reasoned.
But no, of course after that it begun to get worse. From time to time he'd shown even more of this behavior; He'd casually insult me, call me a coward, a doormat, say that I'm "too nice" for just talking to other friends. He'd even got mad at another friend for just calling me their bestie, and accuse me of "replacing him" because him and the other friend had two similarities to each other. I didn't have any intentions of doing so, and I made sure to tell him that, but he insisted. It got to the point where I couldn't talk to the other friend much anymore.
So later on, this progresses. I'm isolated from pretty much every friend I've made. He took up my every waking moment, from sunrise to sundown, I'm assuming Stockholm Syndrome was setting in at this point because I never linked him with how miserable I was. I'd tell him how I'd felt and he'd brushed me off multiple times, even getting mad at me, so I stopped talking about it.
He comes to me, says he's upset. I ask why and he says something along the lines of "I feel like you're not putting in as much time as I am with this relationship.
I'm too tired to protest, to tell him that he already consumed my life, so I nod along. At this point I'm miserably subservient, I can't bother to tell him how exhausted I am so.. I just, follow his demand. He begun telling me how miserable he felt around me, how I've been just messing everything up for him, how me attempting to comfort him and ask him how I could help has been pissing him off. I'm sure he even compared me to an abuser of his. I was heartbroken but I'd nodded along per usual, I was too afraid to do much else.
Around the end of this, we'd just started to send mail to one another when suddenly out of the blue, he'd blocked me. I was upset, but I understood: he'd said he wished to block me sometime soon (but I couldn't block him no, that'd make him mad), so I'd accepted it and just sucked it up.
Two days later he contacts me. He calls me a whore, slut, every name in the book, and outright says "I'd tell you to kill yourself but you'd probably just report me."
I asked him why he was so mad and he said he'd seen how active I was with other friends, since I was reconnecting with them. Turns out he thought I blocked him because his messages weren't sending through (which for the record, was because I was showering and wasn't on my phone.) I told him I didn't, and I guess that's when things clicked for him.
Yet he didn't apologize whatsoever. He said he wasn't sorry for how he treated me. After we'd talked he'd blocked me again after he commands me to stay away from his friends, maybe because he was afraid of me taking them away or telling them how he'd treated me, and to not post anything in the communities I was in. No, not just posts about him - legit, anything. Now the places I went to for comfort weren't comfortable anymore, especially with him still active there, so.. now I'm here.
Even now, almost a year later, I feel like I'm crazy when thinking about it. The shit he'd done feels like it was ripped from the craziest toxic YA romance/thriller novel ever put on paper. I'm willing to accept I fucked up somewhere but I feel like I can't be the only one at fault here, right? Or was he right and should I just.. suck it up? I don't know but I need the closure.
Am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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wield-the-mighty-pen · 6 months ago
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idk if im late but 129 and ladrien!
Don't worry, you are definitely not late, I am still taking prompts!
So funny story with this one, I went to figure out which song 129 was, and it ended up being Noah Kahan's Stick Season, which I really love, but also is potentially very angsty. And after already writing Ladrien angst, I really wanted to write something lighter
So I turned this option into a wildcard, and after using the random number generation to find a different playlist and song number, I got... Stick Season again kasfdskljgsdkljsd
I told myself that if I got it a third time than I should probably just bite the bullet and do it, but I did not get it a third time
So now... here is Ladrien with Leave a tender moment alone by Billy Joel!
This drabble is fluff with some light mutual pining, hope you enjoy!
ao3 link
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Even Though I'm in Love Sometimes, I Get So Afraid
With the gentle caress of moonlight dancing across the surface of the soft features of her lovely face, Adrien couldn’t help but feel his heart get stuck in his throat. 
He couldn’t quite remember how he had gotten here, sitting at night, on a park bench, next to the love of his life, the revered and perfect Ladybug.
He could only remember how his evening began. Sneaking out of his bedroom window in a desperate attempt to escape the oppressive isolation of his house. 
Regardless of how he had gotten there, regardless of how she had shown up, regardless of how he had convinced her to stay and sit with him, the entire moment still felt like a blur, and he was only grateful of the warmth of her presence beside him and of the opportunity to spend time with her.
The silence that stretched between them, felt wrong and unnatural. The space that surrounded them was inexplicably charged, and he felt as though something needed to be said, or else whatever fragile thing resided in this moment would break.
The only problem was, his mind was completely absent of any and all thought of what to say to her. 
If he were Chat Noir, dressed in the liberating masquerade of his costume, what to say would be easy. He would level her a carefully thought up pun or joke and watch as she received it with either a wrinkled nose or a tinkling laugh. 
Of course, the trouble with this was that he was not Chat Noir. He was Adrien Agreste. Model. Perfect son. Person who is definitely not Chat Noir and therefore should not be acting like him.
Still, the urge to make conversation and to make said conversation light, dogged him. And before he could think too much about it, he was clearing his throat and opening his mouth to speak. 
“Um.. so anything you were hoping to spot while in the park tonight?” He asked, poking lightly a spot on her shoulder.
For a long moment she said nothing, only blinked at him owlishly, with her mouth slightly open in surprise. 
Adrien’s stomach fluttered anxiously. He had ruined things. He was sitting here with her, actually getting to spend some time with his lady, and he just had to go and put his foot in his mouth and mess everything up. 
She was going to think he was weird. She was going to walk away in disgust. She was going to hate him. Worse yet, she was going to find out his identity, then reject him again, and then follow the aforementioned steps.
She would never speak to him again, all because of a stupid, mindless joke. 
The internal spiraling going on in Adrien’s mind, was disrupted by the calming sound of sweet giggling. 
A warm, balm-like sensation coursed through Adrien’s blood as he registered Ladybug’s laughter and the fact that she hadn’t been bothered by his joke. 
He let out a soft chuckle of relief that fell in tandem with her lingering laugh.
“Well you see, I actually came here because of you–” She started and then abruptly cut herself off, seeming to realize what she had said. Her eyes rounded comically and her face turned a shade not at all dissimilar from her mask.
“--not that I was stalking you or anything. I–I was just finishing off patrol, when I saw you sitting here, and you looked alone and I thought that maybe you could use some company. Of course, that was really presumptuous of me, and maybe I invaded your private time, and I-I-I I’m sorry, I can just leave you alone.”
She made a slight move to get up, but Adrien was not quite ready for her to go yet. He placed a hand on both her arms, with just enough pressure for her not to miss it, but light enough for her to easily walk away if she wanted to.
“I-I’m sorry Adrien.” She said, her eyes failing to meet his and her cheeks still remaining a heated red.
Adrien was confused at her reaction. Had he given some indication that he wanted her to go? Did something happen that he had missed?
No sooner did the confusion come, than did a clarifying thought.
Wait, was she nervous too?
The reassuring, bright smile that he gave her, was surely colored in his current giddiness and relief. 
“Ladybug, please stay. I am honored that you chose to join me, and I am really grateful that you noticed me sitting here. Honestly, I had a pretty rough day and I needed to get out of the house, but just you being here and sitting with me has made me feel better in more ways than you know. Thank you.” He gave her the last thank you with a squeeze of her hands.
Ladybug’s answering tender smile was worth the slithering anxiety he had faced when speaking openly to her. 
“I’m glad I was able to help. You know, I don’t really have anywhere to be right now. If you’d like, we can just sit here together until you’re feeling better. Does that sound like a good idea?”
“That sounds perfect.” 
Adrien leaned back onto the bench and soaked in the feeling of belonging and togetherness that only she ever really made him feel. 
For the first time that night, Adrien no longer felt the pressure to speak. He could just leave things alone and enjoy the moment together.
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Thank you so much for the ask! <3
Request a lovesquare side and a number from my playlist for a drabble!
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panderp123 · 1 year ago
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C3 EP 78
⚠️ SPOILERS CR ⚠️
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The Lost Children
Seeing Bells Hells aftermath of the shard rejection and how Ashton has brought down those walls. The group goes off in different directions to come to terms with Ashton doing a selfish thing.
The moment…of all characters to say this…Delilah tells Laudna
“He’s a child…”
Which sparked Laudna to make one of her quirky dolls and pulled at my heartstrings.
But before this happened Fearne was so upset she had a somewhat childish tantrum about Ashton almost dying. Three of the party members have severe childish tendencies all different but wow!
Fearne doesn’t know how to handle anger because in EXU she got scared of being evil or turning. Which resulted in her having silent storm-offs or unusual lashouts. It’s very Fearne and how much isolation she’s had from being protected by Nana Mori. A being of the Feywild, Fearne is a delight but it’s so heartbreaking when something scary happens she becomes this little girl. Or a difficult decision such as reviving Orym earlier in the campaign.
Once Fearne storms off and as predicted Chetney goes off to console her. Ashton became this small thing and the walls were all gone. Some moments caught me by surprise.
“I…just want my parents.”
“I wanted someone to blame other than myself…”
“I don’t like myself very much…”
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These are important points because I think Ashton…never really left the desert. Their inner child is constantly crying out for their missing parents. This also concluded my point before that the Greymoore home wasn’t as great as it should have been.
To link back to the doll Laudna makes later in this episode, Ashton sees Laudna and apologises. He didn’t betray her. He just did a dumb thing and that triggers Laudna’s childish tendencies. Laudna doesn’t understand the difference between betrayal over doing something dumb in a selfish manner. However, when the doll is handed to Ashton they start to cry.
Holding it and looking at it which a new look at their mistakes. Ashton is just this broken child deep down.
“I’ve never had a doll before…thank you.”
The fact Ashton had never been given a toy shows you how messed up their time must’ve been at the orphanage. Before they plain jump he tucks the Ashton Doll on his person.
Now on to Laudna, the weight of the events pulls her closer to her patron Delilah. As much as we don’t want her to awaken more I’m kind of glad Laudna had her to talk to for this as I feel Imogen would have sugar-coated it too much.
Delilah albeit dark, evil and narcissistic did make an effort to console Laudna. Not only that but Laudna defied her when Delilah suggested she take the shard.
The childish nature of Laudna is due to her traumatic past. So she clings to her inner child Matilda as those memories are not overshadowed by her time in the castle or with the Brairwoods. By all means this isn’t healthy at all! However, it is character growth.
Naming off all the sad things of her friends' pasts or her own Laudna finds a way to mend Ashton’s inner child by making a doll out of graffitied wood, a chipmunk skull & quartz. It’s simple but it made the tough punk cry so it must have worked.
I’m glad the ice was broken before they took respite in the Feywilds. Despite being homesick Fearne didn’t want to be selfish like Ashton in asking could they go. Given that the group are not mentally stable to face Ruidius they all agreed a needed R&R is needed due to lack of communication.
I like how Matt added Birdie & Ollie at Nana’s because the whole group needs a loving parent unite to help.
Things I’d like to see upcoming:
• Chetney is the Grandpa of wisdom of the group & there’s no BS so more of that. (Be funny if he hit on Alura more just for a laugh xD)
• Laudna & Ashton connect on a wholesome level with childish joys (toys or puppetry)
• Ashton & Fearne reconcile more. No romance but more fixing the foundations before anything happens
• Birdie has a secret 👀
• Allura becomes a more Mother like figure for Imogen in regards to her power.
• Orym gives Ashton a stern talk (Liam was AFK so it be good to see what happens there.)
• Nani Mori knows what to do with the shard 🔥
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phobiasupdates · 2 months ago
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!Omori AU Dump! pt. 1
This is an AU dump for A Bouquet of Rotten Diphylleia, made solely by me. I will also post all chapters here once I finish and re-edit them, that way those who don't use Ao3, or don't like Ao3, can read it.
This is basically going to be one of five(?) large AU dumps that I do for ABoRD. I don't exactly plan to continue the series, which is why I'm making this, just for anyone who might be curious of the lore.
(AU dump below cut)
This AU mainly derives from the fact that Mari committed suicide, and was not killed by Sunny, nor framed by Basil.
Sunny and Basil were the two who found Mari's hanged body the week of the recital, which still kind of links the two through her death. Sunny blames himself for Mari's commitment considering the fact that he had been the one not wanting to do the recital. Doesn't help that Sunny was the only one who knew that she had tried to commit a year before and had only been unsuccessful because Sunny had managed to stop her before she could. (She tried to drown herself in the lake, but Sunny had found her at the lake's edge.)
Sunny had created whitespace first to desensitize himself from the outside world. He hated the thought of Mari having actually committed. Hated the thought that he could've been the cause. He decided to turn to his own mind, where he could make up delusions and fantasies. He basically altered all of his recollections and memories of Mari, making her a "happier" person overall. Much more like canon Mari is in the game, minus the numerous Something references and underlying sense of "this isn't right" the game gives.
After making himself a blank-ish slate, he created Headspace. He realized that he himself was starting to feel overall worse and needed something to drive him away from the thoughts of self-harm and suicide. He feels guilty feeling those emotions since it always reminds him of Mari, and he knows it isn't exactly a healthy way to think.
Whitespace quickly turned into "Grayspace" an AU adaptation of his faltering mentality. He knows he is repressing everything, knows that it isn't right. It makes him feel guilty, which makes it difficult for him to disconnect from reality. He's very aware that he is mentally messed up, and that in itself creates a loop of relapsing.
Blackspace is where he goes when he has a particularly bad relapse, of which he's very aware of its presence. He knows Stranger and the Somethings, even talks to them. This differs from the in-game interactions where he like... never really interacts with them. Omori is also a Blackspace entity, mostly his voice of reasoning, and is not the vessel he uses for himself within Headspace. (Sunny is Sunny)
Basil visits during his years of isolation, creating a sort of co-dependency on the flower boy's side. He feels like he can really only confide in Sunny with most things considering the secrets they share between each other. (Sunny telling Basil that Mari had been suicidal for years. Basil confessing that he thinks about committing more often than not. Sunny telling Basil about headspace. Basil updating Sunny on everything that happens in Faraway. And more.)
At some point Sunny does re-emerge, about when he's 17 in this AU, and tries to catch up in his academics. He's able to finish all of middle/high school within two years since Basil had helped Sunny with his education during his Hikikomori phase. They both got back together with Aubrey and Kel during the time Sunny began to catch up in school, of which they all made a pact to wait for Sunny to finish school before they would all then go to college together.
During college, this dependency between Sunny and Basil grows into a twisted mangle of vines, where they eventually end up going to college. They room together for money reasons... and their festering dependency on one another.
The fic for this specifically takes place during the college phase, meant to show the bigger impact the trauma and dependency had on the two of them. Aka, how Basil's sickness had really only set in after Mari's death due to stress, anxiety, and the overall lack of self-care. (It's hinted at that Basil doesn't take his prescriptions.) And that Sunny's become a less emotional person who clings onto Basil for support. (You can see this in Sunny's POV, as he focuses very intently on Basil no matter what happens. He's less focused on his own emotions and words, and is much more intent on dissecting Basil's every movement.)
(Part 1 of 5)
Part 2 will focus on the details of Mari and Sunny's relationship, and why she had even committed in the first place.
Part 3 will focus on Sunny and Basil's growing dependency for the other over the year.
Part 4 will focus on Whitespace, Grayspace, Headspace, and Blackspace, both creation, design, and interaction-wise.
Part 5 will explain the college segment and A Bouquet of Rotten Diphylleia, will also include the official ending to this AU. (Hint: It's not a happy one.)
Thanks for reading through this, and showing some interest in this AU! (AU is called ABoRD)
My main blog is @faceyourphobia, where I ramble and actually interact with people. (This is my update/writing blog, so please reach out to my main blog if you want to get to know me!)
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 8 months ago
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the fact that gojo genuinely wanted to teach him about love…… that he wanted to reach out to him and save him from his isolation.
YES!! the whole "i will remember you.." HAS ME FUCKED UP like. there's a few ways it could be interpreted but it gives me the same feeling as when you 'love' someone so much, you honour or cherish the memory of them forever.. AHHHHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
thank you ari for the link <33 when i read the chapter I will be back to let you know my thoughts and feelings :3 I have so many photos in my camera roll of just me sobbing after jjk so :3 definitely scared :3 With 252.. you're very right it's really sad that it's actually quite far from how detailed Gege likes his fights to be. Art style and breaks are on two different spectrums. Complaining about him taking breaks is the biggest NO from me. like PLEASE let Gege release a chapter a month. Every single week is WAY too much for a mangaka - there's only so much a person can do within 6 days :// From a pure quality and marketing standpoint it'll allow him to : process his OWN thoughts, more detailed drawings and (longer) chapters, perhaps even formulate a proper plan for the manga, and the hype will be bigger as well. Especially right now where it is getting criticism and being called repetitive - there is less hype because everyone knows they'll get answers in the next week. But most importantly REST. he is not a machine and you are very right about that!!
something to look forward to :3 (tbf i was especially into it bc i love takaba and kenny lmao but i still think you’ll find it fun!! you can tell akutami was having a blast)
also!! i just thought I'd let you know.. i never really got kenny (kenny is so messed up and i dislike(d) them) but you're the blog that made me understand the lore!! and I even started reading some kenny fics.. Anyways, i think that's enough for today and I'll shut up now haha!! <33
OHHHHH ANON WE’RE HOLDING HANDS OUR BRAINS ARE SMOOCHING
i agree completely 🫂 when i saw that line i kept thinking of sukuna like. centuries into the future…. in a completely different world ….. STILL remembering gojo and no one else. it’s such a wonderful fucking line not only because sukuna looks so sincerely pleased saying it but because it’s proof that gojo DID reach him!!!! gojo wanted to prevent sukuna from feeling alone and he succeeded because sukuna will never truly be alone as long as he’s carrying gojo’s memory with him. they make me insane
PLS DO SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER ONCE YOU READ IT …. i’d love love love to hear!!!! :3 take your time though… get your tissues ready……. aaa and !!! 100% agree on the monthly chapters. that should just be a standard atp but sadly it isn’t…. :ccc i rlly do think gege deserves one long longgggg break to rest up properly.
also!! i just thought I'd let you know.. i never really got kenny (kenny is so messed up and i dislike(d) them) but you're the blog that made me understand the lore!! and I even started reading some kenny fics..
ALSO THIS !!!!!!!! ANON…….. T_T this made me so happy you have NO idea. i’m so glad i could turn you around on him!!! he’s such a silly, interesting, fun little guy :’3 (very fucked up too but that’s just another charm point imo) and aaa the kenny fics !! the world needs sm more of those … i’m working on a no curses au fic for him but i have no idea when it’s getting out …… </3 hopefully soon!!!! anyway pdhdjdj i’m just so happy that you’re a kenny enjoyer now!! welcome to the cult club !!!! 🫂🫂
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skyloftian-nutcase · 2 years ago
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Hmm.... How about some Hero of Twilight headcannons too?
-🦆
I think everyone knows I have this one, but Link has a country accent. During his adventure he noticed people’s reactions to it, ranging from confusion and not understanding him to downright thinking he’s an idiot, so he started trying to downplay his accent and masks it pretty well after a while. It comes out full force when he’s emotional, whether that’s angry or sad or excited.
He enjoys being around others, but he’s happiest when he’s with animals. He could go a whole day without interacting with people and be ok, but a whole day without animals and he’s sad.
He feels very deeply and just doesn’t know how to express it, so it sometimes it makes him the sweetest ray of sunshine and other days it makes him a sad, brooding storm cloud. And he does not want to talk about it while he’s actively feeling that way because he doesn’t know how to articulate it anyway.
He’s a little lost with what to do with his life. He was more than happy to live his life out simply in Ordon Village, but after his adventure he’s restless and confused and eager to help Hyrule more now that his world has been broadened, but feels strangely empty after Midna’s departure. He’s just… lost.
He was raised by Rusl and Uli since he was little. The whole village acknowledges he’s their kid. He moved out into his own home for space and because he was close to coming of age - unlike Ilia, whose dad is the mayor and has a big house, Rusl and Uli’s place is right and once Colin started getting older Link thought it was best to give the family more room to grow. He picked living on the edge of town because that was the easiest place to build and he loves Ordon Spring (he could sense the light spirit without really knowing it). Sometimes he misses being home with them and other times he loves the privacy and isolation.
He had a very close connection to Midna, which snapped into a confused whirlwind of attraction when he saw her true form, but he didn’t have enough time with her after that to truly process it, leaving him a confused hot mess with unresolved feelings.
His relationship with Zelda is more akin to how he looks out for his fellow villagers; she was someone he had to save and protect, and he has a soft spot for her and wants to help her, but there’s a distance between them as her status of royalty makes itself known again. Once the castle isn’t in disarray all the duties and protocols are back, and Link comes to her aid if she needs him, but beyond that he doesn’t spend much time with her. (He does want to have an archery exercise with her though, he thinks she’s a great shot)
He could go days without talking or could talk for hours without shutting up. Most of the time he just pipes up when asked, though; it’s rare for him to start a conversation unprompted. The exception to this is when he sees someone who needs help, whether it’s physically or emotionally. He’s a good listener and will absolutely sit with you and prompt you to talk about what’s bothering you. Just don’t expect him to be as open if you turn the tables on him.
Transforming into a wolf is still painful, but he’s gotten used to it. The weather or injuries can make it worse, though, and some days it’ll just hit him and he’ll stay in wolf form and hide so he doesn’t have to transform back and feel that bone shifting pain again.
He is usually the responsible figure that others look up to, and he fills the role naturally, but sometimes (a fair amount of times but don’t tell him that) he’ll just… do the stupidest thing without thinking, and he doesn’t realize it’s stupid until someone else has a heart attack about it. Like how he’s so used to being in burning structures by the end of his adventure that when there’s a small fire near Ordon he just… runs into it to save the goats while the others have a meltdown.
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waybeforeyourtime · 9 months ago
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i agree with much of what u said that people need to have boundaries etc but comparing a legitimate stalker who is a very extreme case that required police involvement to fans saying that a celebrity gives them a reason to stay alive is honestly pretty messed up. I get ur point that it may be a lot of pressure to SOME celebrities But other celebrities have shared that it makes everything they do worth it to know that it gives someone hope and something to look forward to in a really dark world. Especially for queer youth many of which really struggle with their mental health the portrayal in young royals and also omar and edvin being vocal in their support really does mean a lot to them as it does to many of us who are not even teens anymore. So your judgement and telling people to seek mental help is honestly quite insensitive. I do agree with you about people harassing celebrities and not respecting celebrities but you also made a lot of assumptions and a lot of judgements toward people who are really struggling linking them to someone committing multiple crimes that is a bit unfair. I wasnt going to say anything but it has really been bothering me as someone who works with queer youth.
I didn't compare what happened to Bradley. I used that as a jumping-off point to explain why you shouldn't judge anyone for stepping away from socmed.
Read it again.
And you contradicted yourself. You say these fans who have unhealthy parasocial relationships with these actors have mental health issues and then say I'm insensitive for saying they need to seek mental health help.
"I wasnt going to say anything but it has really been bothering me as someone who works with queer youth."
Listen, credentials on the internet mean zero. You could be lying. So.... and I was a queer youth. I also worked with queer youths. And, imo, they need to start hearing these things from adults. They're isolating themselves in echo chambers of online fandom culture, and they are being raised to believe they can dump all of their problems on another unwilling person.
They can 100% love their fav, bestie, mother, father, or whatever they want to call people. But they have to learn to understand that the relationship is one-sided. That their fav owes them nothing. That their fav exists as a human being outside of being their fav.
"I get ur point that it may be a lot of pressure to SOME celebrities But other celebrities have shared that it makes everything they do worth it to know that it gives someone hope and something to look forward to in a really dark world."
Yes I'm sure being asked 'what size is your penis' really gives someone hope in a dark world. Or being harrassed to come out publically. Or having your bf receive threats online. Or having fans invade a restaurant that you're at with friends. Or having a fan from another country happen to just show up at your local market.
That's just some of what has happened in YR. If a fan isn't part of harassing people online or making them feel uncomfortable*, then my post wasn't about them. And, if they are, then I stand by my statement that they need to look at their behaviors online.
* Edvin asked people not to comment about his physical appearance, and it never stopped. If you think the people talking about that toxic behavior are the problem, then you are part of the problem.
Also, those SOME celebrities who say they really enjoy socmed will usually always add something like, "the majority of fans are cool BUT..." And I could give you several examples of those who have said that and then eventually went off socmed, driven off by fans.
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ablogcalledrevenge · 2 years ago
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Potential (A General Hux x Reader Insert Multi-Chapter Fic, Rated M)
AO3 Link
Chapter Twelve
“And she’s so powerful Master, perhaps even more than the scavenger. She’s completely untrained but I could help hone her skills. It’s just so strange to me that I wasn’t able to sense it.” Kylo finishes, breathing heavily in his excitement. 
While the most important part was that you had this new power to learn and wield, Kylo was also secretly pleased that he would no longer be alone. The Force was a very isolating thing, especially for those more in tune with the Dark Side. Knowing there was someone else who could understand his feelings and struggles was comforting. Plus, it would be fun to mess around with Hux.
“Of course you weren’t able to sense it boy, I didn’t want you to.” Snoke says, interrupting his daydreams. Silence fills the chamber and it echoes. 
“You knew? The whole time? Why didn’t you say anything? Is that what you spoke to her about that night?” Kylo asks, growing more and more angry. Snoke just watches with mild bemusement, like Kylo is a small child getting mad that his parent lied about having sweets.
“We could’ve been helping her this whole time! She got hurt, Supreme Leader, she was in agony! We could’ve stopped that and stopped Pryde. She could’ve died and then Palpatine would be back!” Kylo shouted at his Master, feeling the slow, slimy crawl of darkness fill him up.
“Oh come now boy, do you really think Pryde’s pathetic plan would have worked? It was flawed from the start and lacking in past proven success. While the Light Side allows those who’ve passed to communicate with others still living, the Dark Side, especially that of a Sith, deals in absolutes. Death is death. He let his desire for power blind him to common sense.”
“Then why did we not stop him earlier and prevent the waste of time and resources? Why Master? Why put us through this?” He responds looking up at Snoke. Since the attack on Exegol, the Supreme Leader had made a visit to the Finalizer. Normally he has guards around him at all times, imposing figures dressed in all red. But he is alone, alone with Kylo.
Despite being old and sallow, he intimidated Kylo. He felt cowed in his presence, like an animal trying to hide in the corner of a cage. Clearly his Master knew more than he let on and deemed Kylo unworthy of the information.
“Because I needed to know where your loyalties lie!” Snoke roared, standing up from his throne. His student recoiled back.
“I am loyal to you Master, you know this! Ever since I was a child when you called to me. Why would I betray you? Your goals are my goals and I seek to serve you and learn from you. I wish to make you proud.” Kylo pleaded.
“Do you think I am blind Master Ren, or perhaps that I am merely stupid? Do you think I didn’t see the way you trailed after that insipid girl like a lost dog? Did you think that I was unaware of the relationship that started with the General? I’ve known the whole time and your behavior has been an embarrassment.” Snoke sneered, returning to his seat. He fumed for a moment, his already thin lips pulling tighter in fury.
“I am aware of General Hux’s desires for power and glory and before I found them easily managed. But now, his wife, like all vile women I’ve come to know, has poisoned his mind. She inflates his ego and aids his progress in a way that concerns me. She may bat her eyes and act innocent but she is vicious. Her goals far outweigh the General’s and I have no doubt that should he prove useless, she will get rid of him. Did you think yourself so special that she would treat you differently?” He continues, drumming his long, skeletal fingers on the arm of his chair.
“… What?” Kylo whispers into the still air of the chamber. One would think they were all frozen statues with how little they moved. No breeze ruffled their robes. No speck of dust floated through the air. The large chamber, despite being practically empty, felt like a vacuum.
A look of pity crossed Snoke’s face before morphing into a twisted attempt at glee. Not because he was trying to be kind and spare Kylo’s feelings, but more because such a pleasant expression had never graced his sunken face before.
“I don’t believe it. I thought you were smarter than that. Did you really think they liked you? That she meant all the things she’s been whispering in your ear? She chose you from the start to be a pawn in her game and your fate will probably go the way of all the other people she’s killed.”
Kylo made an odd choking noise he’d never heard himself make before.
“Are you truly that braindead? Did you think those deaths were all coincidences? She might have painted a pretty picture for the unwashed masses but I thought I’d trained you better than that. She wants to usurp me and our Brotherhood. She wants to dismantle the First Order and take everyone down with it.”
“You’re wr-wrong.” Kylo stammered out, his face red with shame. The hot slide of the Force turned to ice in his veins. Snoke scoffed.
“She doesn’t love you Kylo. Neither of them do. They are monsters, incapable of love. And you are too. I allowed this indiscretion to go on for a time, seeing how the passion made you stronger in your fighting. But now it’s gone too far. Love is for children and imbeciles! They are using you! They laugh at you when you leave them, thinking they’ve deceived you. They think they’ve deceived me!” He shouted, once again stepping off his platform and down towards Kylo.
Kylo’s vision was clouding, and Snoke’s words echoed in his ears. He started to look back on every interaction, examining them in a new light. He went over every kiss, every touch, every look for something sinister. Was it true? Was he that weak to jump at the chance of affection, even at his own risk?
The room felt like it was getting smaller, squeezing in on him. Snoke started to poke at his thoughts, paint them red and reveal the truth. The pain was immense and brought Kylo back to his childhood, crying under his bed after a scolding from his mother. Snoke had been there too, showing him the truth of his mother’s feelings. He showed him her disdain and her regrets. He showed him all the secret thoughts she had about her son. All through his life, Snoke had been there, molding him into the fierce warrior he was now.
And Kylo had failed.
The shame brought him to his knees. He had allowed himself to be lied to and manipulated. He had allowed simple pleasures of the flesh to override his devotion to the Force. Once again, he had tried to please his Master, bring more over to the Dark Side, and he had crashed and burned.
As humiliating as it was, he could move on from the scavenger. The Force was strong within her, but the Resistance had gotten to her first. She would be a worthy opponent.
But this, this cut him deep. This was no longer an issue of his pride or his teachings. This involved his heart. His distraction had nearly cost him his life.
Snoke approached him, the gold fabric of his robe coming into view. A cold hand rested gently on Kylo’s head.
“Your behavior has been disgraceful but not unexpected. You always did have a hard time removing your feelings from the situation. That’s why I’m here. To help you when you falter in your duties. She has used you and now must be stopped. You’ve been ignoring your work long enough. You must return to your mission and find Luke Skywalker.” Snoke said, his voice quiet and calm. Kylo sniffed and stared at the floor.
Then the hand petting his head stopped, and though Snoke removed his grip, Kylo still felt his head wrenched up. Kylo was eye to eye with his Master and as much as he wanted to look away, he could not move.
“You know what to do Kylo Ren, you know how to stop this. You can never complete your training if you allow others to manipulate you. Use the Force and follow your path. Show your loyalty and kill those who stand in your way.” Snoke declared, loosening his phantom grip and letting Kylo fall to the floor like a doll.
The edge of his lightsaber cut into his hip and his hand twitched. He had to speak with you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Kylo had left two hours ago, he had sat you down in front of a candle and told you to meditate. You’d focused your breathing like he’d shown you and kept the candle in sight. Kylo had said that meditation would not only help you understand and communicate with the Force but it would also help lessen the pain and lower the volume.
You were both surprised and not to find that he was right. It wasn’t that you thought Kylo was lying about his skills or knowledge, but you were worried that they wouldn’t work for you. No one had realized you were strong with the Force so who’s to say the training would even work? But it was.
The headache you’d had since you woke up in the medbay was receding every day, more so on days you meditated or practiced simple drills. When Kylo made you close your eyes and predict where a levitating ball was -or on one occasion, where he was going to kiss next- you felt proud. 
In those moments you understood and liked the Force. Hux was… well he wasn’t pleased exactly. But he let you and Kylo continue on and didn’t make a fuss. It was clear that he still regarded the Force with some skepticism but seeing the fundamentals being taught helped change his mind a little. The two people he cared most for in the galaxy were Force users, so he might as well just accept it.
So there you sat, legs crossed and breathing slow. The Force lay in front of you like a map, glowing lines intersecting and flowing over each other. There was a line connecting you and Hux, another going from you to outside the room towards Kylo probably, even one connecting Millie to you. And along each line, like the faintest glimmer, was the future. Or the possible future.
You saw worlds collapsing and expanding, empires rising and falling. Your own self seemed so minuscule in the will of the Force. The universe would continue on it’s path, only allowing you choices when it saw fit.
But there was a beauty in that, a release of responsibility. The Force didn’t care about you, it just connected you to others in the universe. So you would not care about it, you would continue as you were and only take nudges when they fit your vision. Still, getting to read people’s minds certainly wouldn’t hurt.
You released your breath and the candle went out, flooding your bedroom into darkness. That was enough introspection for a day. You changed out of your simple pants and shirt into the outfit you were planning on wearing for the evening. You and Hux were meeting a few officers for dinner and you wanted to show off your new dress. The dress was a gorgeous piece; black leather with enticing see through mesh and colorful floral embroidery. 
Glancing at the chronometer, you entered the living room, Millie resting peacefully on the couch while your darling finished his work. You needed to remind him of the time, so he could get ready as well. You still had to put your shoes on, but you would have your darling husband do that. The play at subjugation was always a fun little appetizer for the two of you.
Everything was quiet and easy and your brain relaxed as you waited.
It was into this calmness that Kylo burst in, his robes swirling around him like a storm. You didn’t need to sense his energy crackling around him to tell you he was in a mood. He looked furious and heartbroken and confused all at the same time. You and Hux both remained where you were in shock; him at his desk, you by the couch.
“Kylo, is everything alright?” Hux asked, setting aside his datapad. Kylo didn’t reply and instead removed his outer robe, letting it drop to the floor. His dark gaze bounced around the room, catching on random things and never staying for long. He looked at Hux for a long moment, your husband standing from his chair to perhaps embrace Kylo. But the expression on Kylo’s face made him falter.
Then he looked at you.
The sweet smile you greeted him with slid off your face as you felt yourself lift off the ground. You were being pulled up by your neck, the pressure getting tighter and tighter with each inch you rose.
“Kylo, what’s going on?! What are you doing? Put her down! Stop!” Hux yelled, racing over to Kylo to get him to stop. He pushed at the other man’s body, tried to pull his arm down where it extended in a claw towards you. But Kylo may as well have been a mountain for all that he moved.
Your feet were dangling, toes no longer anywhere near the floor, and your hands in their leather gloves scrabbled at your neck. You could feel Kylo’s grip, clear as any other time he had so lovingly touched your neck. But your fingers scratched at air, your throat convulsing by invisible means.
Tears rolled down your reddening face as you choked out Kylo’s name, begging him to stop. Hux ran to you, hands fluttering with uselessness.
“Kylo stop, please! I don’t understand! Why are you doing this?” He cried, turning pale.
“You lied to me! You were always lying to me! You’ve been using me! You don’t love me, you never have! The Supreme Leader showed me the truth. You used me and as soon as I would’ve  stopped helping you, you would’ve killed me. Killed me like all the others!” Kylo shouted, ignoring Hux entirely.
Your eyes, which had been pleading only moments before, turned hard and steely at the accusation. Seeing the change, and perhaps thinking it a confirmation, Kylo released you.
You dropped into your husband’s arms, gasping and coughing. Hux grabbed a cup of water from the little decanter you kept on the table in front of the couch, pouring you a drink.
“What the kriff are you talking about? We haven’t been lying! Of course we care about you!” Hux told him, his eyes blazing with rage. Yes, he did care about Kylo, but not enough to instantly forgive for almost killing you!
Just like that, an argument started, both men screaming in each other’s faces. Screaming about lies and loyalties and love and betrayal and plans and secrets. Kylo was revealing your plan step by step while Hux, bless him, was justifying it on every turn while attempting to place all the blame on himself. Poor Millie had run towards your bedroom, tail tucked between her legs.
“Enough.”
The word struck like a bell, silencing both men. During their flight you had regained your senses,
standing gracefully in front of the transparisteel window. Your voluminous gown stood out against the navy of space and you touched once at your throat to center yourself. 
“You’re right. That is my plan. I did kill all those people. I’m going to remove Hux’s superiors to place him in a position of authority. A role where no one is above him or controls him. I am going to make him Emperor. That’s all true.” You admit slowly, voice scratchy from the abuse. But it does not waver, even in the face of Kylo’s rage.
Hux lets out a sigh and sinks into one of the armchairs, his hand coming up to rub across his chin. His eyes switch between you and Kylo, worry creasing underneath.
“So you would kill me too? Strike me down if I was in your way?” Kylo sneers.
“Yes. But not anymore. My plans have altered slightly.” You admit with a shrug. Ever since Hux’s accident you’ve allowed yourself some flexibility. While you do want to stick to your goals, now you’ve discovered that some people are more important.
“That doesn’t matter! You still lied to me! You still brought me here to control me and use me! You never cared for me, never lo-loved me!” He shouts, pointing a finger at you.
“Oh grow up Kylo! That’s what love is! Being in love means being used, being controlled. I use Hux, he uses me! Did you think I married him merely for his looks? No, I knew his connections and position in the First Order would suit my goals. He did the same. Sure, I’m a beautiful woman with a sparkling personality but I also had family wealth and connections to Imperial planets. We chose each other for specific reasons and love followed. So to act annoyed because I picked you out first and then came to adore you is childish.”
“It’s true, we weren’t honest about our intentions at first, but is that so awful? You’re part of us now. Would you have come to us had you known the truth? Would you be happier without us? Have we ever treated you poorly, made you feel used?” Hux asked, his voice a calm break between the two of you starting to shout. Kylo started like he forgot Hux was there.
“And furthermore, how did we use you? What did we make you do? What did we ask of you? We kept you away from our plans on purpose. We didn’t want you getting involved.” He adds, a tone of sweetness entering his voice. It’s one that rarely appears but it seems to do the job of soothing Kylo slightly.
“I, I don’t understand. What was your plan for me? You say you chose me but for what? To warm your bed and nothing else? If that were true then why did Snoke confront you? Why involve me and not tell me the truth?” Kylo begs, stepping closer to you, reaching both hands into his hair to pull in frustration.
“Because you need to kill Snoke.”
The air in the room stills as your words land like bombs. Hux sucks in a nervous breath and Kylo drops his hands.
“You would have me kill my Master? Kill the Supreme Leader?” He whispers, as if afraid of saying the words too loud and making them real.
“Hux cannot be Emperor if Snoke rules over him. The Supreme Leader is old and weak and doesn’t care about the actual people he’s ruling over. All he cares about is the Force and eradicating the Jedi.” You reply, the cold expanse of space behind you.
“That is an important and noble cause!”
“Like hell it is! What does it matter if Skywalker still lives? He’s off on some rock somewhere being a recluse! It wasn’t until you started looking for him, on Snoke’s orders, that he became a problem. Snoke told you to try and convert the scavenger to the Dark Side and you failed and now she’s with the Resistance! She’s probably getting trained by Skywalker himself. You did this to yourself! Snoke’s foolhardy desire to get rid of the perceived threat of the Jedi caused the most powerful one to come out of retirement! He’s an idiot and so are you!” You shout, holding up your hand when Kylo tries to interrupt. You take a long sip of your water.
“For years Snoke has sent you on wild hawk-bat chases, going after old men and ghosts. He has diverted money and resources away from the First Order to complete his unnecessary missions. The skills of the Knights of Ren are legendary and he has been wasting them! He is not only wasting your time but your talent! I am only a beginner in the ways of the Force, I admit that, but even I can see that your mind reading skills and athletics are better suited for covert missions and interrogation. Instead you’re off playing hide and seek with people who do not wish to be found.”
“And why? Why Kylo? Why does he send you? Send your knights? If Snoke is so powerful, so wise, why doesn’t he do it? Because to be honest my love, had you failed me as much as you failed him, I wouldn’t keep giving you things to do. He’s distracting you, keeping you busy. He’s occupying your time so you never realize the truth. He gives you impossible tasks and berates you when you falter, pulling at your leash like a feral Neks when you try to do something by yourself. If anyone is using you, it is him, not me.”
Kylo sputters and laughs in a short, disbelieving way. He steps closer to you once more, forcing you to back up against the window, the cool glass making you hiss. Hux stands up from his chair but does not move further, knowing he is out of his depth between you and Kylo.
“If you’re so wise, so all knowing in the Force, ten steps ahead of everyone, then tell me: what is he distracting me from?” His voice is smooth like silk, gliding over your face and neck as he approaches you.
There is something predatory in his eyes, assessing and bright. You do not cower from him though your heart is pounding fast. You wonder if the sound is escaping your chambers, it seems so loud.
“From your true power. From the natural conclusion of your training. From questioning him. You are the Master of the Knights of Ren, and yet where is your authority? What choices are you allowed to oversee?” You explain, raising your hand slowly to rest against Kylo’s chest. Your fingers flex against the hard leather of his tunic.
“I run missions and lead battles all the time. I have plenty of control over myself and my Knights. You know nothing of the work I do for the Supreme Leader. You know nothing of the Dark Side!” He spits back, his eyes searching your face.
“I know more than you realize. You think I’d go into this blind, just doing whatever you tell me? If I’m going to have to deal with the Force, I’m going to learn about it all. True, I haven’t gotten through all of it and I doubt I ever will, but I know about the Light and Dark Sides of the Force. And yet… and yet you are neither.”
You catch your husband’s eye and beckon him forward with your other hand, below Kylo’s waist. He slopes up gracefully hovering near Kylo’s back but not touching.
“Why did Snoke teach you the ways of the Force, grab you away from your childhood and bring you into the Dark Side, and then not allow you to reach your fullest potential? Why refuse the moniker of Sith when that’s so clearly what he is?” You say, dropping your voice down into the register you use in the bedroom. Your hand slides up Kylo’s chest to his neck, playing with the tiny wisps of hair at his nape. Hux joins you, wrapping an arm around Kylo’s waist from behind and bringing the other up to replace yours on his chest. Kylo’s eyes have gone a little hazy, confused in how he got into this position but sinking deeply into serenity. He’s certainly not mad anymore and you’d take it.
“The Dark Side of the Force is rigid and hard to maintain. He wanted more flexibility for himself… and for us.” Kylo murmurs as Hux reaches below his belt and heavy tunic to caress at Kylo’s stomach underneath.
“But he won’t offer you the same flexibility. Why, when you have difficulty with a style or lesson does he not adapt and change? Give you the same kindness he extends to himself.”
A spark of comprehension lights in Kylo’s eyes. Seizing the moment, you quickly grip Kylo’s hair and pull his head back, Hux pushing at his back and legs to get him down on the floor between you. He kneels before you, neck straining from your pull, eyes once again furious. You smile at him, and it is wicked.
“Because the final act of a Sith is to kill their Master.”
Kylo wrenches away from you, a few of his dark hairs still trapped in your fist. He grabs his helmet and cowl by the door.
“You are wrong! My Master is wise in all things and has plans I can’t even conceive of. He has plans for me, he wants to help me. He has been raising me to my true potential since I was a child! I will not kill him!” He shouts and you fear momentarily for anyone passing by. The chambers are mostly sound proof but Kylo has a loud, commanding voice. You raise your voice right back.
“He has been manipulating you since you were a child! He has been hurting you since you were a child! Had you proven a bad student, he would’ve found another. He has never cared for you! If he did, he would’ve left you alone.” You shoot back, surprised to find wetness growing in your vision. Doesn’t he see what he means to you? How you’ve grown and changed?
“Kylo please, I love you so much. We love you and want you with us. We want to save the Galaxy, make it better. We need your help. We need your knowledge and skill and leadership over your knights. When I make Hux Emperor, you shall have freedom to do as you please. You can do whatever you want for us, with us. Snoke would never let you go! That’s why you must kill him. You need to take your rightful place, just like Hux will. It’s what I always wanted for you.” You add, trailing off quietly towards the end. The tears are really falling now and Hux comes to your side, reaching for your hand. 
“At the end of the day, it’s your decision Kylo. But someone is going to die when this ends. It’s your choice who.” Your husband says, his voice clear and his words final.
With that, Kylo gives you one last glare and storms out of your apartment. The door closes quietly behind him. You and Hux remain standing, tears streaming down your face, and hope that you didn’t just ruin everything.
You almost cancel your dinner plans but decide against it. Kylo needs time and you might as well eat a good meal before your death. It’s agony, trying to make friendly conversation while a pendulum hangs over your head, but you are the perfect hostess which means being the perfect guest. You are witty and charming, laughing at jokes and gazing lovingly at your husband. He remains mostly quiet and pleasant, leaving the communication mostly to you.
After a long dinner, you are finally free of company and return to your apartments. Millie has been fed and you both collapse on the couch. Hux pours you both a glass of whiskey and you sip next to each other, dread returning. Kylo doesn’t return after one glass or the next.
Eventually, you go to bed. Neither of you talk much, lying next to each other under the blankets. Hux reaches across the expanse and holds your hand. It makes your heart soar with affection and you kiss him sweetly. Declarations of love get whispered between you and you fall into an uneasy sleep.
You’re only a few hours into the sleep cycle when the front door opens with a beep. As if waiting for a signal, you and Hux spring out of bed. You trail behind Hux as he enters the sitting room, your simple blue nightgown fluttering around you.
Kylo is there, helmet off, lightsaber engaged, and breathing heavily. He stalks towards you and for a moment your head is empty. You are going to die and the realization freezes you in your tracks.
Then he disengages his lightsaber and lets it drop onto the floor with a clang. He extends his arm, previously behind his back, and drops Snoke’s mangled head on the carpet. He looks exhausted, skin pale and drawn. There is blood on his face by his temple. 
Then he falls to the floor as well, both of you reaching forward at the last second to catch him. Blood stains your hands where they press against his chest. Hux quickly removes Kylo’s uniform, inhaling sharply at the sight of blood and gore on his chest. There was a battle clearly and Hux whistles for Messy. The mouse droid zooms over and Hux makes a request for medical supplies. You have some in your chambers but Kylo will probably need more than your paltry supply. He needs to go to the medbay, something Hux keeps saying but Kylo shakes his head.
“I did it, it’s done. Snoke is dead. The Knights have pledged to me and only me. I’m free.” Kylo breathes out, voice scratchy. Hux looks at you in shock. You had hoped that Kylo would choose you, would follow your plan, and now he had.
Snoke was dead. There was nothing standing in your way. Kylo could pronounce The Supreme Leader dead in the morning and Hux could be crowned by the afternoon. It was done, you were finished.
“Kylo, you miraculous boy!” Hux croons, pushing away his sweaty hair and kissing his temple.
While your husband worked on treating Kylo’s wounds, labored breaths and hisses of pain accompanied by soothing nonsense, you sat on the floor in a heap.
All the lying and killing and deceiving could end. You had won. Your plan had worked. Hux was going to be Emperor! Hux… was going to be Emperor…
Kylo’s lightsaber rested by your knee, easily reachable. Snoke’s head lay nearby, his face in a frozen state of shock, eyes gone dim. The men were busy, occupied with other things but within your range. Your hands rested on your lap covered in blood, possibly Snoke’s, maybe Kylo’s. 
Your heartbeat slowed like it always did when you were facing a momentous decision. Your eyes swung back and forth between the lightsaber, the head, and your hands. The voices behind you faded to white noise.
The Force gave you a vision. Paths lighting up and expanding out from your hands.
You had won, your hard work had paid off. All your obstacles were gone. You could have everything you wanted. And more… You could have more. The weapon was in reach and by the time they realized what you were doing, they’d be dead. This was your plan, your idea! They had done their part and you didn’t need them anymore.
But you, you could do more. You could rise higher than thought possible, bringing the Galaxy to it’s knees. They were only men; easily distracted and disposed of. You could kill them now and have it all.
The First Order would obey you, Phasma’s troops falling in line at your show of cunning. The Knights would respect you, ruthlessly taking the opportunity. Men were weak and you were strong. You were better than them, better than everyone! You could be Empress of all, ruling for centuries!
All you had to do was pick up the lightsaber and cut their throats. All you had to do was kill them. It would be easy, they’d barely feel a thing. You could do it without breaking a sweat. You could spin a story to make yourself look good, give yourself deniability. You could become a God, rule the First Order and then the Galaxy!
You could kill them. You could kill them. Kill them. Kill them. Kill them! KILL THEM! KILL THEM!
KILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLKILLKILL
You screamed then, air rushing into your lungs as you fell forward into your lap, bloody hands pushed outward.
“I can’t do it, I won’t do it! Don’t make me, I don’t want to! Get this off me! Get it off! Please, I don’t want to. I love you, I could never, I don’t want to.” You cry out, Hux coming to you and pulling you gently into a more comfortable position against his chest. Kylo, now mostly stable, takes your hands and removes the blood. He is gentle and soft. He knows what you were thinking. 
“Together, together or not at all.” Kylo whispers, placing a reverent kiss on your clean palms. You sniffle and give a shaky smile. The vision fades away, just an idea that passes along.
“You have done so much and done it well, now we can relax and take our place in history. Relax my dear, rest now. It’s done.” Hux says into your ear and you nod, feeling yourself slump further into his embrace.
“It’s done.” You murmur back, repeating the phrase a few times, testing the weight on your tongue. It tastes delicious.
A laugh bubbles up in your chest then, loud and obnoxious. You can’t stop it and it escapes, echoing in the room and startling the men. A beat and then they follow, laughing along with you.
The laughter grows for a moment, a Stormtrooper passing by on patrol hearing it but paying it no mind.
Then it dissipates and the energy in the room settles. Hux lifts you in his arms and carries you back to bed, Kylo trailing behind, fist gently tugging on your nightgown.
You settle into sleep, your husband on one side and your lover on the other, and you drift away into peaceful nothingness. A smile is on your face.
Epilogue Coming Soon!
Tagging: @babbushka, @livy1391, @renaissance-mama, @girl-next-door-writes​, @peqchynero​, @niniita-ah, @the-temple-pythoness​, @cupofmoonlighttea​, @sincerely-cronch​, @potato-ren​, @brujademente​, @ah-callie​, @rosirinoa​, @lwtficrecs​, @theold-ultraviolence​, @mad-hatters-teapot​, @firstordermariposa, @revolution-starter, @shereadsinquiet, @isthisheaven5
Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters!
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zeppclin · 7 months ago
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・     𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔   . . .   𝐙𝐄𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐎𝐒𝐎.
❛ hey , is anybody home ? is anybody wasting tears on 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 that everyone becomes ? is anybody low ? is anybody painting 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑 on bedroom walls that save us from . . . is anybody home ? is anybody wasting tears on loneliness that everyone becomes when they're not alright ? has anybody painted fear on bedroom walls that everyone becomes the loneliness that 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 becomes ? ❜
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・   ⏤   quick  links   :   pinterest   +   playlist   .
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・     𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂  𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.
name   :   zeppelin  cardoso  .   nicknames   :   zee , zep , lin  .   age   :   twenty - seven  .   gender  /  pronouns   :   cismale  &  he / him  .   hometown   :   edmonton  ,  canada  .   career   :  aspiring   musician  + waiter .   positive  traits   :   creative  ,  witty  ,  caring  ,  loyal  &  thoughtful  .   neutral  traits   :   sensitive  ,  imaginative  ,  passionate  ,  cautious  &  impulsive  .   negative  traits   :   flaky  ,  insecure  ,  hopeless  ,  skeptical  &  scatterbrained .
𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀   ,
𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙  𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑠   ;
hair  color   :   brown  .   eye  color  :   brown  .   height  :   six  foot  ,  three  inches  .   tattoos  :   currently  17  various  tattoos  .   piercings   :   3  ,  both  lobes   and helix .   faceclaim  :   shawn mendes  .
𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑐   ;
artists  streamed  :   roe kapara , jeff buckley , alt - j , mother mother , friday pilots club , dominic fike , the pale white , lana del rey , nirvana , radiohead , third eye blind , silverchair , des rocs , fidlar , vinyl theatre , the wrecks , billie elilsh , pleaser , weezer , green day , joe p , royal blood , nf , bilmuri , filter , paper idol , sick joy , jet , connor price , r.e.m. , supertramp , queen , new west , dreamers , waterparks  . . .  and  many  many  more  .
・     𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓  𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐒.
𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦  𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑐𝑘   …
zeppelin cardoso  ,  a living and breathing mess of a human being , at least that's how i'd describe him , hand on heart . he truly thinks he means well but is constantly doing the complete opposite of what is well . he could be a very unpredictable person , simply because his emotions are seemingly impossibly to track and control . he hardly knows what's going on with himself half the time . zeppelin had always been the type of person that worked in extremes , in a sense . but dose those extremes with some unexpected flips and speed . he has a good heart but he just doesn't seem to use it right at any given moment . the type of person that wants someone to love him , to be around , to care but in the very next moment he wants nothing to do with any of it . he wants to be alone , he doesn't want to be loved and he doesn't want anyone to care . he could be a good friend to have in your corner . . . at times . . . other times , maybe he isn't the best person to trust with information . he's very haywire at any given moment but really . . . deep down , underneath all the issues . . . he just doesn't want to feel so isolated and alone .
!!!   𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑  𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓   !!!   :   mental health     (    there's  a  tiny  mention  !  i  put  a  warning  before  it  starts  and  after  it's  over  !   )
born in edmonton , canada . zeppelin grew up in a relatively normal home . a mother that adored him and a father that wanted the best for him . like any family , they'd have their ups and downs throughout life but altogether , they were a normal and average family .
zeppelin's parents working in music in different ways . his father a lighting engineer for concerts and his mother working in sound . it was almost a match made in heaven when the two music lovers came together and have their little boy who they shamelessly named after classic rock group , led zeppelin .
growing up , zeppelin was always around music making it easy for him to pick it up . although , he was more interested in the work in the front . gravitating towards the guitar and piano .
a young zeppelin also got into different sports , soccer being the main one and for a kid with as much energy as zeppelin , his parents were glad to throw him into the extra circular .
( TW : MENTAL HEALTH. ) that being said , growing up zeppelin was a very hyper active kid . either that or his energy was at an all time low . some levels clearly off balance with the boy but as great as his parents were , it was easier to ignore some signs the boy was showing early on rather than trying to work on anything .
instead , they threw him into music or soccer . when zeppelin got older , he started to develop some issues with his mental health but yet again , it was looked over . zeppelin not really wanting to come to terms with it either . his family was normal . . . they were all so happy . . . he didn't want to be the one to ruin that . he didn't want to be the fuck up . even if his thoughts and opinions of himself were wrong , it didn't stop him from thinking it . ( TW CONCLUDED. )
when it was time for high school , zeppelin surprisingly got an offer into school in oregon for soccer . jumping on the chance , zeppelin left and so started the best and worst years of his life .
this is the part where i talk about how close zeppelin and chris were , how devastated he was by the disappearance . . . how the dares and the chaos that had happened to the class of 2014 . . . but that's not at all how it went for zeppelin .
zeppelin didn't really know chris . . . he knew of him . . . he knew what he looked like . he saw him around but they had never actually spoke to each other unless there was a simple hello or nod . the two barley interacted . that being said , it didn't take away from how erratic the male became after the vanishing of christopher wilder .
after everyone graduated , zeppelin unable to really process anything he was thinking or going through . he stayed in oregon and proceeded to try and cover everything up . why ? because he wasn't thinking straight and still isn't . . . even if he was , was it too late ? he was in too deep . the lies he had told . . . it was all too much .
nevertheless , now here zeppelin is , still in oregon while everyone is flooding back because of said message to the group . the horror story never seems to end for the male . dedicating his whole life to it . soccer was ancient history and his music was hardly anything other than something he did at some dive bars here and there . instead , his life was amounting to seemingly nothing but a guy losing his marbles . . . living a low profile life as a waiter . all potential his parents dreamed of him having seemingly thrown out the window .
copy & paste what i said about kai here : there's  some  things  missing  ,  i'm  sure  !  but  for  now  ,  this  is  what  i  got  .  going  with  the  flow  as  i  figure  him  out  more  !  please  ,  have  this  trash  as  my  token  of  gratitude  .  and  i'm  sorry  you  had  to  endure  this  struggle  and  ramble  .
・     𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.
𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  :   i  currently  don't  really  have  anything  other  than  just  vibing  and  seeing  what  will  happen  !  but  i'll  update  this  when  things  start  flowing  in  my  head  .  always  down  to  brainstorm and plot  ! i'm always down for the most chaotic things , no limits !
i  do  have  a  section  in  his  pinterest  that  could  be  potential  ideas  for  some  plots  !  if  that  interests  you  ! and i have a wcs tag here for more potential ideas !
・ 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.
𝐍/𝐀.
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