#Like I could barely sleep last night | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

freshkidpeach · 8 months ago

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this is me if you even care

#I’m still losing my shit over this #It’s all I’ve been thinking about #Like I could barely sleep last night #I love her so much already #loz #echoes of wisdom #Zelda #legend of Zelda #loz eow #the legend of zelda

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xxplastic-cubexx · 4 months ago

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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier

#xmen #mcu #xmen movies #xmen first class #charles xavier #professor x #snap sketches #todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous #i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself #in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society #sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM #and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that #NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair #for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY #the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig #i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented #anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik #genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show #more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day #bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days

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sysig · 3 months ago

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Hi, sorry to be anon, but can I ask to see the Vargas family post trick or treating? Divying the goods, or just being tired from the event? Thank you and Happy Halloween!

Day 30 - Fine, but you're taking nightmare duty

#Requestober #My art #Vargas #Scriabin #Edgar #Todd #Shmee #Called it on being late today lol - not bad for the first (and hopefully last!) of the season tho!#Also no prob on the anon :) As long as you're following the rules it's all good! Anon's there for a reason <3 #And Happy (Almost) Halloween! :D #They're back from Trick Or Treat! Edgar and Scriabin in this year's featured costumes haha <3 #Once again refusing to show them outside the apartment lol it's just a reliable setpiece!#And since I didn't get any ISaT reqs this time around I decided to throw in a reference myself lol #Toddfrin hehe little guy <3 #The adults are very tired from all the running around - Scriabin especially haha his lack of impulse control and being new #Looks like he managed to keep his costume on the whole night tho good for him ♪#Even exhausted he's still going to find some way to poke at Edgar just his nature haha #Todd was going to listen! He's a good kid <3 #We all know there's no way Scriabin's getting up after all the excitement haha barely holding onto the back of the couch #We'll just have to pretend Todd gets perfect sleep and nothing spooky happens :') It could pan out that way! Maybe!#I always enjoy this midway-to-chibi style hehe it's cute! But still a little lanky #Little bit quicker and good and cute ♪ Enjoyable

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago

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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

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why-the-heck-not · 1 year ago

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Just signed up for the bachelor’s thesis course (today’s the deadline; very on character, gotta leave till the last possible day) Crying screaming throwing up??? I’m hella stressed abt it

#and not sure about the topic #I didn’t yet need to be but I’m afraid I didn’t write enough like ’’what are u interested in’’ bc mf how would I know?????#so in january I’ll just see what group I’m at and figure the topic from there it’ll be fiiiiiiiine #and if not; it’s only 6 months like I could handle 6 months with a shitty topic I think (barely and not well but like doable)#also rn it’s 7am lol bc I basically filled the form last night & decided to sleep on it just in case and now it’s way too early to be #feeling this frazzled #i’ll have more coffee; surely caffeine will help #2023 #december 2023

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crystalkitty1220 · 14 days ago

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Dez could absorb electricity. Meaning she can’t use phones or anything that requires a charge, because she’ll suck the energy right out of it. And when she absorbs too much… well, you don’t want to be there when that happens.

Also yeeeees make Nevin choose between his morals and having his brother back. He could even get Felix to help if he’s really desperate. (It’d also be fun if it was one of those ‘this is what I asked for but not what I wanted’ scenarios. Like the twins being stuck permanently in one body and never being able to really touch or communicate fully.)

Dez draining electricity has already been considered for like a year because, funnily enough, I had a great grandfather or uncle or something that couldn't wear watches because they'd run out of battery on him. Looked it up and apparently it's a surprisingly common phenomenon that occurs because some people have more electricity in them? So actually yeah that could work. But the thing that's been stopping me from settling on that is that it's just a little too out of line from the other curses. I guess I just can't find a way to more it horror-y or dramatic enough. Like, Edward's afraid of hurting people with his strings but his attempts to hide it and appear "normal" instead of confiding in others ends up hurting himself instead, Drew's powers prioritized understanding others to the point where he literally couldn't see past others' emotions (plus the whole healing thing), and Nevin's going through a whole mess. And then Isaac is honestly mostly just vibes. I haven't been able to find a way to make draining electricity fit in with the rest of them. (having the exact opposite issue with Chris where I can imagine so many curses that I'd love to place upon him, but I can't tie any of them back to his power being having a sword.)

Also thanks for even more ideas as to how to make Nevin suffer. I'll write down "get Felix involved" alongside "let him recover slightly right before the Isaac scene" and see if I can get a whole list of plans going. No blorbo of mine's gonna have a good time on my watch.

#curse!ibvs #ck check-in #i think there was other stuff i wanted to say but i forgot #recently found a song. Great Vacation. anyway there was a part of it where i was like 'wow this could really work for the isaac scene'#the contents of the isaac scene arent fully decided right now so they will not be disclosed. in other words i wanna polish and draw it firs #anyway so i've had curse on my brain for the past few days because of that but right now i can barely remember anything i thought of #a dragon was involved i think #nah im kidding #i remember exactly how the dragon was involved #also last night i didnt sleep because i was similarly listening to another song. See I'm Smiling from The Last Five Years.#the plan was to fall asleep to music but instead #the part of my brain that for the past few months has been focused on a forgettable character from sp decided 'you know what?'#and went back to christopher maddox jackson. the good thing is that i do like the symbolism my half-awake brain thought of.

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cuteniarose · 3 months ago

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It’s almost 6 a.m and I can’t sleep because I’m being plagued by thoughts of The Latest OC

#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness #Jia is genuinely making me lose my mind #right now the aftermath interests me a bit more because I live for emotional whump and angst #just.. imagine being her parents #you beg for your daughter’s life and your plea is listened to. she’s released. having proved herself useless. you barely recognise her #she’s nothing like the upbeat and cheerful girl you raised who loved working in this palace. who loved her lady #she’s so thin. hollow cheeks and empty eyes. she barely reacts to anything but Lord Jusamah’s voice which makes her flinch #you’re afraid to even hug her in case she disappears like a ghost would. something is very very wrong with her #you remember the rumours that she was tortured for the information. she looks like she’s starving #it’s clear she was hurt. she wouldn’t act like this if she wasn’t. you’re scared to think of what is hidden beneath her clothes #you want to lunge at Lord Jusamah and strangle him with your bare hands. inflict everything he’s done to your daughter on him tenfold #but you can’t. he’s rich and you aren’t. he has power and you don’t. if you try.. none of you are seeing the sun ever again #you barely care. it would be worth it. but you have two other children to worry about. and Jia deserves her freedom #so all you can do is drop to your knees. press your forehead to the floor. and thank him for his kindness #you tell Jia that you’re taking her home. alertness returns to her for but a moment #‘home?’ her whisper sounds so sad. so broken. you can barely stand it #you rush home as fast as you can. she’s so skittish it hurts. she feels the sun on her face and doesn’t move for a good 10 minutes #you can’t bring yourself to say anything. one of you goes ahead to warn the family so the children won’t crowd her #you finally make it to your house and Jia looks at it as if it was a mirage. she touches the wall to ensure it’s real #the first thing you do is help her take a bath. the sight of her back fuels you with bloodlust. there’s no untouched spot on it #your sweet gentle girl was whipped until criss crossing scars covered every last inch. it must have been hell #you bandage her wounds and take her to eat. she gorges herself on it as if someone would take it away. some light returns to her eyes #she always had a good appetite. at least that didn’t change. after lunch you let her sleep in your own bed #instead of making her share with her siblings and cousins. she needs space. she passes out the second her head hits the pillow #you stay and keep watch. and when the first night terror occurs. you’re ready. her screams are impossibly loud #you wake her. calm her down and hold her hand as she falls back asleep. recovery won’t be an easy road #but you walk it anyway. and with time. she gets better. she returns to her old self. only some traces of that horror remain #she’s happy again. smiles a lot. helps out. plays with the younger kids. she’s the Jia you know and love #she has nightmares. her scars hurt. no one touches her back. she’s paranoid about food. but she’ll be okay. you’re sure of it #(I reached the tag limit again but at least I said all I had in mind. but I could probably ramble on about this for ages…)

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orcelito · 4 months ago

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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍

Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.

But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.

I do need to eat. But... later...

#speculation nation #im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry #which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh #well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to #i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge #or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way #i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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kingtankgirl · 5 months ago

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this is officially worse than when i had e.coli i can definitely say that now

#emeto n illness etc its pretty gnarly and i dont have a filter so read at your own risk #its been 3 fucking days of barely sleeping and having that sleep interrupted by severe abdominal pain and vomiting #and then during the day i feel almost normal again! and then right before i go to bed the pain comes back and then im just up all night #this is the fourth day of work ive fucking missed this week and i literally want to jump off a cliff #this is worse than my ulcers its worse than e.coli and i havent slept since i woke up at 11:30pm. and its 8am.#ive been shaking and vomiting all night and im soo so tired. i need this to stop. the pain definitely got to like an 8 last night #and all i could do was lay on the couch and just writhe and whine because i literally cannot keep anything down!!#not even my.sleep meds that i unsuccessfully tried to take twice and threw them up both times #my whole body is pins and needles from fevers or chills or sleep deprivation i dont rly know or care #this is the first time in 8+ hrs ive been able to look at my phone without the nausea worsening tenfold so im dropping all of this #and if you think all of this feels bad physically! wait till you hear how it feels emotionally and mentally!

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gaytobymeres · 6 months ago

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Oughhhhh

#feel like I could pass out at work #barely got any sleep last night for literally no reason except I couldn’t fall asleep #and I’m now feeling very woozy #also feeling super super anxious also for no reason #except probably it’s just that I’m tired #I should be excited because after today I’m on holiday for a week!!#but no we have to have an awful sense of foreboding that I can feel in my chest

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captain-lovelace · 1 year ago

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.

#Sometimes I think about the fact that without my OCD diagnosis I might be dead #Like given the intensity of how things ramped up last fall/winter especially #I was so terrified that I was sleeping like 2 hours per night in like half-hour bursts #And sometimes could barely speak #I have no idea what I would have done if I hadn’t been able to get some distance from it instead of #Believing it was all my fault and I was just uniquely awful #Suicide mention #Like to be clear: diagnosis is not something I think everyone should pursue and I think the actual *therapy* I was getting during that time #Was not actually helping #But having some way to say that the thoughts I was having did not reflect on whether or not I deserved to live #Was a relief

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running-in-the-dark · 8 months ago

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very very dizzy today. don't know why. I've eaten, everything else is fine, so this is just really unfair honestly

#I took my sleep medication last night just to see what it's like if I only take it when I need to... not a good idea! could barely get out #of bed #so that might have something to do with how weird I'm feeling #sigh. I need to throw away the rest of the medication so that I don't feel tempted to maybe try this again #no! remember how annoying the side effects are you dumbass! 😭#feels like there's clouds drifting around in my skull #quite unpleasant #personal

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icewindandboringhorror · 18 days ago

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currently at That Point which occurs once every few months where one briefly begins pacing around the house teary eyed contemplating selling their own organs or becoming an online scammer or getting on anxiety meds so you can bear the risk taking required to be a hitman or so on and so forth.... why must everything so Expensive... Surely all would be healed in life if only I had one big plate of lasagna and a simple loan of $40,000 ... auoughhh....

#And then you just eventually shrug and go 'welp. nothing i can do i guess' and sad cartoon music plays as you shuffle back to your room #It's just hard with my specific physical and mental issues since it's like.. I couldn't really handle most jobs. I can't handle school. I'm #100% aromantic and asexual so I'll never get married so I can't get money that way. I have too much issues with social cues #+ too nervous temperament + too low energy to put effort into lying and having a fake relationship just for money. so on and so forth etc.#Really I should have just been born into a middle class family. Which I guess everyone says. but ESPECIALLY considering my #chronic conditions kind of hampering my ability to function 'normally' or be Independent in a regular way. I'm always going to be #in some way sort of beholden to the whims of people around me who I must depend on. so... well of course they might as well have been rich #lol like that would have been better for me of course.#AAANyway... Just thinking about another stupid fucking climate change summer... months keep going by so fast.. soon it will be so again #And it's like such SMALL things would make drastic improvements for me. Literally if I just had a place with central AC #then like 75% of my issues with summer would vanish instantly. literally. But instead it's like.. having a cheap hot apartment + only #half functional dinky window ac + my illnesses that make me heat sensitive + living in a part of the country that keeps getting hotter +#inability to leave the house much meaning I can't just go spend time in a cooler place etc. all factors which combine together to make #it just utterly miserable for MONTHS and mentally draining. And literally ALL I would need to fix that is just...#have a place with central AC that works.. (or move to a colder country/area but that also takes money. Or just not have illnesses #that make me heat sensitive. but that I can't control). etc. etc. I guess it's just the nature of the constant background frustration of #being part of The Masses under our current manifestation of unmitigated capitalism. Such minor details would make such huge #quality of life improvements and yet will remain ever out of reach. ONE little thing could change your whole life but you can't even have #that. so many 'If only' scenarios. etc. And of course obviously I am incredibly thankful just to have anywhere to live at all. food to eat #. any sort of stability whatsoever no matter how fragile it feels/is. But that still doesn't make it not frustrating occasionally to look #around and see how relatively little would have to change in order for you to be a decent percentage more comfortable and yet #how still far away even those ''small'' seeming goals are. etc. etc.#Seriously think I've been traumatized by the summer or something somehow lol like thinking about it being warm weather eventually #makes me nauseous with panic. It's just SOOO much labor. micromanaging windows and fans and blocking every ounce of light #and not being able to cook (cant even afford a single degree of temp increase due to the stove) for months and barely being able #to sleep for months and the claustrophobia of days on end crawling out of your skin because it doesnt even get cool enough at #night to offer relief so you're just always feeling trapped.. hgrhh...#It starts getting hot here sometimes in May but mostly June then lasts through October now.. thats like half the year almost.. ARghhH #anyway... If any extremely rich person reading this would like to buy me an air conditioned house in exchange for multiple years worth #of art (I will paint murals on all of your grand dining halls and make all the custom sculptures you could ever want etc) then.. hewwo :'3c

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candyriku · 9 months ago

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finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)

#shout out AS ALWAYS to people leaving comments!!!! you are keeping me motivated you are keeping the dream alive #for some behind the scenes: in the last few weeks i've been barely sleeping and it makes it very hard to write or even be in a good mood #i usually need 11+ hours to function and so like. 2-3 hours a night is putting me in a bad place both mentally and physically #and yes i realize 11 or more hours is like a silly amount of sleep but idk. it's just how i am. i go to bed early AND sleep in ahaha.#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol #ANYWAYS #typing typing typing (this chapter will be a lighthearted one)#we all need some fluff and levity i think (and i need to give time for Riku to care for Sora even more and be like. wow. i love you)#I was struggling earlier bc i wanted to write both about how Sora has been hiding darkness from loved ones and needs to let them in #but also with the idea of sora feeling that he needs friends to have strength or value. and i kind of realized i needed to pick one #like maybe a better writer than me could have both of those things be addressed at once but for me i was like... I want Riku to comfort him #which goes against him learning that he's fine on his own. we can address that in a different fic. rn he is just sad and needs to know #that he can share that with the people around him. and that he's still loveable despite it all #also shout out to my gf for teaching me “love isn't something you deserve that's not what love is” like. i did not know that b4 her #so I asked her lots of questions for chapter 14 actually cause I was like. i want Riku to support Sora in the way you'd support me #cuz IDK SHIT ABOUT THAT i have always felt unworthy of love and like i had to beg people to stay with me until i got into this relationship #so i was like. judy. what is your wisdom. how do you care for me when i feel like my pain makes me unloveable. what would you say #So yeah shout out to her! I am off on a tangent now hehe sorry. thanks for reading if you read this at all!! have a good day :)#jtsys fic #updates

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tmnt-obsessed-ace · 1 year ago

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None of the android emulator sites work

I wanna play this game so badly 😭😭😭

WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE OFFICIAL DESKTOP VERSION TO COME OUT??!!?!? ITS NOT FAIR

#I legit dreamed about playing sky with burb last night #I was so excited I could barely sleep #and I turned my computer on so fucking fast thinking that somehow I could get it to work #but it didnt #like five hours of trying for nothing #:( :( :( :( :(#pain

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practically-an-x-man · 1 year ago

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my mom's diverticulitis is flaring up and it's really tough bc on the one hand I obviously empathize with her and i really don't want her to be in pain. but on the other hand she's even more difficult to be around when she's in discomfort because she literally does not stop talking about it

#i mean seriously every other sentence out of her mouth is about how she's in pain. how she couldn't sleep last night. how she's miserable #and it's not that i don't understand what she's going through #i have chronic pain of my own. and insomnia. and chronic fatigue. i get it.#i had two straight years of my life where i was in so much pain i could barely move. couldn't eat or sleep and dropped to 100 lbs #so like. i understand what it feels like and i empathize from that respect #but it's so hard to even share a room with her when that is *all* she talks about. esp since there's nothing any of us can do to help that #(not even getting into the way she basically forced me to pretend everything was normal when i had my own severe medical stuff)

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