#barely got any sleep last night for literally no reason except I couldn’t fall asleep

[gaytobymeres]

Oughhhhh

[visceravalentines]

A Matching Set of Spoons

Poly!Sinclairs x GN!Reader

Rating: Teen (SFW, lots of swearing and some mention of sexual activity)

Length: 1.1k

CW: none, just that sweet sweet fluff

I wrote this in a rush last night and it gave me so many goddamn feelings I had to share it right now. Bo can't sleep. Turns out he's not the only one.

Tagging a few moots who deserve special Sinclair cuddles! (Happy to untag you, just lmk.)

@cypressnmarigolds, @ajokeformur-ray, @moon-of-desire, @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better, @wasteofanarrow, @slasherlouvre, @papikuai, @myersmeadowarchive

Some nights, the Sandman skipped right over Ambrose. 

This was one of those nights.  Bo lay spreadeagled in his bed, the comforter discarded long ago, the top sheet tangled around one of his legs.  He wanted a cigarette.  He wanted a sandwich.  He wanted to go the fuck to sleep, but that was evidently out of the question. 

The moon was blinding, sneaking through the curtains to fall directly on his face.  He was too hot, too cold, Goldilocks all over.  Maybe he needed a drink.  Maybe he needed a fuck.  He thought of you in the room down the hall. 

Surely you were asleep.  You had to be; it was the middle of the night.  Any reasonable individual would be asleep at this hour.  But what if you weren’t?  What if you were also tossing and turning, alone in your bed, that t-shirt of his you stole to sleep in riding up a little higher every time you rolled over? 

Goddamn, he had it bad.  He was half-hard already. 

Bo ran a hand through his wavy locks.  It couldn’t hurt to go check.  Just to see if you were asleep or not.  If you were, he’d leave you be.  Maybe he’d snuggle up to you for a while, see if that lulled him into dreamland.  But if you weren’t….

He sat up, swung out of bed, adjusted himself in his boxers.  In the light of the moon, he picked through the maze of shoes and laundry that carpeted his bedroom floor.  Probably he should do something about that soon.  Bo pulled his door open and peeked into the hallway, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. 

Your room was down at the end of the hall.  He crept towards it, trying to be silent.  When Jonesy wasn’t in the basement with Vincent she slept with you, and the last thing he wanted was to spook her. 

A creak from the staircase behind him spooked him so badly he nearly jumped out of his skin.  Bo spun around, fist cocked, ready to break someone’s face.  His brain froze, malfunctioned as it tried to make sense of the hulking, hairy shape shambling up the stairs, lit by a weak and flickering light, some literal actual boogeyman in his motherfucking house except it looked a lot like –

“Vinny?” he hissed, peering into the black.  “What the fuck are you doin’?” 

His twin shuffled toward him, cupping a candle poured into a small mason jar in one hand.  Vincent signed lazily with one hand, Same to you.  It’s 2 AM.

“I know it’s 2 AM.  Why are you creepin’ around the house like a damn haint?” 

Vincent flipped him off. 

Bo rolled his eyes.  “Well you scared the bejeezus outta me so that feels like my business.” 

Vincent pressed the candle to his bare chest with a forearm so he could sign with both hands.  The sweatpants he wore to bed were hanging off his hips.  Maybe I felt like an evening stroll.  It gets hot downstairs. 

“Well, grab an ice cube and shove it up your ass, maybe that’ll help.” 

Now it was Vinny’s turn to roll his eye.  What’s your excuse, you piss the bed again?

Bo scowled.  “I was just goin’ to check on [y/n].  Thought I heard a sound comin’ from their room, that’s all.” 

Vincent slowly tilted his head, eyeing his brother.  …you horny bastard.

“Hey now.  Don’t you go gettin’ the wrong idea.” 

It’s got.

“I am tryin’ to protect this house, and here you are accusin’ me of indecent behavior.” 

I can see your damn dick. 

“Fuck off, Vinny.  Evenin’ stroll my ass.  You were sneakin’ up here hopin’ for a little action yourself, admit it.” 

I would never.

“You sure as hell would, we have the same brain, asshole.” 

Shhh, you’re going to wake them up.

“Now wouldn’t that be a shame.  Don’t change the subject, Vin.” 

I am not discussing my sex life with you.

“Ooh, did you hear that?  That was an admission.  Besides, I already know all about your sex life.” 

“Guys?” 

The sound of your drowsy voice from the other side of the door froze their bickering.  Bo glared at Vincent, who glared back and waved at his brother to open the door.  He obliged, and both twins peered into the room.  You sat up, hair messy, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.  Jonesy lifted her head from her place at the foot of your bed. 

“Hey, darlin’, did we wake you?  Sorry ‘bout that.” 

“What’s…going on?” 

“Nothin’, just…havin’ a friendly family dispute.” 

“…in the middle of the night?” 

“No time like the present.” 

On your far side, a lump stirred in the bed, and Lester appeared from underneath the covers, squinting at his brothers.  “What the hell is this, a surprise party?” 

Bo and Vinny at the same time said, “Lester?” 

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” 

“This is fuckin’ stupid,” Bo complained.  “You’re not even supposed to be home ‘til tomorrow.” 

“Cry me a river, honeysuckle.” 

“Okay, okay, everybody…calm down.”  You shook your head.  “What do you guys need?” 

Bo wanted to –

Bo shoved Vincent.  “We couldn’t sleep.  We thought you…might be up.” 

“Well, I am now.” 

Both twins winced.  Sorry about that.

Peace was a thing of the past.  You sighed, slumped forward, patted the mattress next to you.  “Come on in.” 

Are you sure? Vinny said as Bo shoved past him without hesitation, making a beeline for the bed. 

You gave him a sleepy smile.  “Yeah, get over here.” 

Lester squawked as Bo bodyslammed him.  “I did not consent to this!” 

“You consented to it when you was born last.” 

“Bullshit.” 

“Bo, you’re gonna kick Jonesy!” 

“Sorry, darlin’.” 

Vincent hiked up his sweats and set the candle on your bedside table.  He sank down onto the mattress and curled up on your left, settling in as littlest spoon.  You tucked in against the smooth skin of his back.  Lester buried his face in your hair and Bo, the biggest spoon, snuggled up tight against his youngest brother, reaching an arm across to rest his hand on your hip.  Jonesy grumbled, scootched back into a comfortable position with her head on Vincent’s feet, and fell asleep almost immediately. 

One big disaster family. 

“Goodnight, y’all,” Bo whispered. 

“Bo, is that your dick?” Lester exclaimed. 

“Shhhh,” you giggled. 

Vincent blew out the candle. 

[wizkiddx]

i just had the cutest idea at least in my head and would LOVE if u could do a blurb? where tom is trying to measure your ring size to propose while your asleep, but then you wake up and catch him.

this is v v cute! I hope this is what u want, sorry if it didn't translate I found it a bit tricky aha

summary: tom gets caught preparing for a very big moment

warnings: v small reference to smut

//////////////////////////////

Sleep always had been, and always will be, an important thing in your life. Naturally then, any source of interruption, was met with some….some hostility. Maybe it was your annoying flatmates as a student, who insisted on playing the worst drum and bass till 4 am every night; maybe your neighbours car alarm, which seemed to be set off by the lightest gust of wind; or maybe your loving- if slightly infuriating -boyfriend.

Tom had just got back from a trip abroad and you’d had a quiet evening in- consisting of pizza, a long forgotten film playing and lots and lots of laughs. As much as you loved his family and friends, celebrating with a fancy dinner and lots of drink - there was nothing better than a night in. It was what you’d both desperately needed too, just actual quality time with the both of you living in the moment, forgetting everything else outside the four walls of your flat.

Needless to say, you’d ended up right between the sheets and you honestly couldn’t remember falling asleep. But now, barely conscious, you did notice your fingers being moved and fiddled with. With a groan you limply pulled them away, rolling over to chase Tom’s body heat - which seemed to have disappeared. His presence hadn’t though, you could tell even with your eyes shut due to his little coo.

“Shh darling…. go back to sleep.” And with a mumbled incomprehensible response, you tried to - even if you personal heater appeared to be in hiding.

Yet then, barely 30 seconds later, the bed dipped weirdly again; Tom’s grasp lightly tugged at the arm you’d crossed over your body. Fighting against it, you snatched your arm away and groaned incoherently once again. Again you got a the most whispered and soft sounding reply from Tom. “Shhh Y/n/n…. come on, work with me here.” Clearly you were half asleep, not really paying any attention to to his words, so huffed - shifting again so you we lying half on your back, half on your side, your left hand lying on the pillow next to your head.

And yet again, barely a minute later, you were sure you heard him chuckle before the bed wobbled as he crawled up it. You could feel his shin brushing against your side as he once again went to grab your hand. And that- that was the last straw.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

The sight you were greeted with was not one you expected. Tom kneeling next to you, with bed hair and all, looking like a deer caught in headlights - literally too, the flashlight from his phone illuminated the otherwise pitch black room. His eyes bugged out his head, while he frantically fumbled with his phone in an attempt to get the light off.

“Nonononono” Muttering as if you weren’t there, Tom obviously struggled to find the right button to shut it off - giving you amply opportunity to notice the other object in his lap.

A yellow tape measure?

Why the hell he was measuring you while you slept, completely unawares, was beyond you. The boy hand some explaining to do - primarily because… he interrupted your sleep.

“Tom what the fuck?”

“I’m so sorry I-I just….just go back to sleep love.” It was weird, how he seemed defeated? He looked upset, and was doing that thing where he nervously ran his fingers through his brown curls.

“Not until you tell me what the hell you’re doing.” Sticking firmly, you reached over to flick the bedside light on, just as he finally got the torch off. The warm golden light illuminated to whole room, allowing you to more clearly assess the situation. The brunette was sat so he were almost leaning over you, with the tape measure but also you now noticed a little notebook and pen sat to the side. His despairing look had you immediately forgiving the interruption to your night- everything, melting away to concern. “What’s going on T?”

“You um-you weren’t supposed to-fuck! I’m sorry love I just-“ Reacting to his embarrassed ramblings, you sat up properly to cup his his cheeks with both your hands.

“Hey take a breath yeah? Then tell me why you’re being all creepy and sizing me up for a coffin or something?” He laughed breathily at that, but it was a smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

“I wasn’t- I… can we just forget this happened?” He already started to get off the bed, wrapping the tape up in a very hurried manner. With a scowl you shook your head, leaping up to grab the yellow ribbon out his hands before he could fight back.

At that point it was too late for Tom. You saw the way the tape was labelled, not with cms or inches. Instead it was letters of the alphabet, starting at G and ending at Z. You would’ve been confused, except the fact you’d used this weird scale before, when you and your best friend got matching promise rings the other month.

Tom had been trying to measure your ring size.

You couldn’t help but let out a little ‘oh’ as it clicked - making Tom sigh heavily, still looking at you with worried and terrified eyes. It took a minute for you to face him, smiling weakly with a little gleam growing across your eyes.

“We should- we should uh, let’s go back to bed yeh?” Stammering through, you already almost forced the the tape back into his hands. Wordlessly he nodded jerkily and placed both the notebook, the tape and his phone on the bedside - as you flicked the lamp off.

Obviously, it was awkward as hell. Right now Tom knew you knew - he was less convinced though on how you reacted. Now he was doubting whether you wanted that- if you wanted to be his wife. The silence was defeneing, the bedsheets the only noise to interrupt as you both settled back onto the pillows. Tom left a bit on no-mans land in the middle, not wanting to push it.

Really there was no reason to not move and cuddle up to him, even slightly cruel. You knew Tom was worried that he’d fucked up massively. You could hear his breathing shake, as you both stared up at the ceiling. Maybe it was slightly horrible, but you couldn’t help but feel insanely blissfully happy. Tom was your future and it was good to know he was starting to get the ball rolling.

“I’m a size N” You whispered up to the ceiling “just for the record.” You both swivelled to look at each other simultaneously, your smirk completely overwhelmed by the smile of pure joy that grew on Tom’s face. Yes the room was dark and you could barely see, but that image might just be one that lives forever in your memory - as your absolute favourite.

“Just-just so we’re on the same page… um, thats your fourth finger? Left hand?”

Finally moving from the awkward position, you nestled your head into the crook of his neck, legs wrapping round his. You chose not to answer super specifically, because it seemed like he was asking more than just one question there. Just very broad and very open to interpretation answer.

“Yes and… and um yes too…just for the record”

~~ let me know what you thought <3 ~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter @lovehollandy12 @thefernandasantana

[professional-dikut]

Here’s a super sweet Echo/Crosshair fic req from an Anon!

( i couldn’t decide between Cross and Tech, but Cross flowed better for some reason, so i went with him :D) I hope you enjoy ☺️ (slight TW for vomiting and sum self-destructive thoughts<3) Fic under cut ⬇️

Word count: 3339

"That should be all." Nala Se spoke slowly, turning away from the arc trooper and dropping the bacta shot into a waste bin.

Echo nodded and hopped off of the examination table as the Kaminoan turned to put a data pad away.

He glanced down at his legs as he tugged his sleeve back over his flesh arm.

Nala Se had given him another anesthetic—the second one this week—after he had stepped funny on one of his prosthetics during a course down in the simulator facilities. He'd taken a pretty un-graceful fall and accidentally tripped Hunter, sending the two of them tumbling down a ramp. Hunter was fine, but Echo's leg had been sore the entire day.

In fact, Crosshair had to catch him in the dinner-line when he'd almost toppled over from standing on his leg in a certain position for too long.

The sniper had given him a look and told him to go to the med-bay—no exceptions.

So here he was, in the med-bay, again, with his second painkiller of the week.

It was starting to become... troublesome.

He began to put his armor back on before deciding that he would just carry it back to the barracks since the batch would be going to sleep soon anyways. Well, Hunter, Crosshair, and Echo would be going to sleep. Tech and Wrecker usually stayed up to do their own thing for a bit before actually heading to bed. 

Sighing, he scooped up the plastoid in his arms and began to make his way out of the med-bay.

The bright hallways of Tipoca City seemed to burn through his eyes and into his newly peaking headache, causing him to squint as he turned a corner. He knew his way around the city, it was sealed into his brain after getting lost many times in the previous years, before he joined the bad batch. Before the thing happened.

The thing.

The thing that was becoming harder to keep up with day after day, becoming harder and harder to push aside. Harder to ignore. Harder to hide.

It was getting harder and more exhausting to fake being fine around the bad batch, to ignore the constant headaches and bothersome pains where his limbs were supposed to be. There had been so many times where Echo had skipped meals because he could barely stand, telling the rest of the batch that he was just worn out—which wasn't exactly a lie. Sleeping was becoming more difficult as well.

His nights were turning into readjustments, shifting around, blanket-no blanket madness. He'd stare up at the ceiling in the barracks, and pray to the maker that he'd be able to fall asleep for hours on end. Sometimes he'd sit up in his bed and scroll through a data-pad, looking at old rules and regulations to see if he could still recite them like he used to. It was all so different now, but all so similar at the same time.

The Batch was so understanding. They understood Echo. They helped him when he needed it, and they welcomed him as one of their own. 

But he wasn't one of them.

He was more machine than man. 

That was nothing like them.

The regs knew, the batch knew, and Echo knew. It was obvious. They knew what they were getting into when they accepted him into their squad. 

Echo's stomach lurched as he turned a corner, and another wave of pain flowed through his temples.

He was becoming the exact thing he told himself he wouldn't.

A liability.

A burden if you will.

All Echo did was slow the squad down, and mess up their flow. He couldn't do anything right without getting himself or one of the batch hurt. It was like a curse, that he literally couldn't function without. Without his prosthetics, he'd be of zero use or need to the squad, and would most likely be cast away to work in the medical facilities, or decommissioned.

So really, The bad batch was the only reason he was being kept alive.

And he just kept screwing it up.

They always told him, that he wasn't a problem, that he wasn't slowing them down, or burdening their team. But what if they were lying? Echo wouldn't be surprised if that was the situation. Tripping Hunter during the simulation wasn't the first time something like that had happened, it it most certainly wouldn't be the last.

So why did they keep him?

A weight began to settle in Echo's stomach as he turned down the hallway that the batch's barracks were in. 

He exhaled, and almost put his lunch on the floor.

He froze, and dropped a few pieces of armor as he slapped his hand up to his mouth. The sound of the plastoid clattering to the floor sounded in his ears much louder then they should've, knocking another pulse of discomfort through his skull. He turned away from the noise and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ground himself as a bitter taste filled his mouth and bile bubbled in the back of his throat.

Echo's mind began to race as he stood as still as possible for a minute.

Clones were not supposed to get sick. He knew that for a fact, and had never met or seen a sick clone in his entire time being alive. It was threaded into them as mere test tubes, and continuously kept up as they grew, and went out to war. Clones were a species with one of the strongest immune systems in the galaxy, so there was really no reason for Echo to be feeling this way.

Well, there was always the thing. 

With most of his humanity stripped away, it was possible that some of his genetics and artificial health that the Kaminoans had pumped into him since birth was failing now. He was eating whats in the cafeterias—most of the time—which contained the nutrients and medicines that kept them all healthy and ready for battle at anytime. So why was his stomach betraying him?

He opened an eye and stared at the blank white wall for a second, before looking to the barracks and considering his options.

He could, go back to Nala Se and ask for some stomach relievers, or possibly another bacta shot, or, he could go into the barracks and attempt to fake his way till sleeping time, and hope that he didn't vomit all over Tech's equipment.

Nala Se was most likely already closing everything up and putting all her supplies away, so it was possible that he could catch her before she finished up. Although, she might consider his condition... unreasonable. If he kept coming to her with more problems, it would give her a pretty good reason to send him to the medical squads, where he would be less bothersome to her, or even to the decommissioning facilities.

Shit.

He wasn't even sure he could make it all the way back to the med-bay at this point. His hand was shaking, still over his mouth, and the nausea mixed with his splitting headache was doing nothing for his attempt at grounding himself. If he did go into the barracks, he'd have to make it to the bathroom before any of the squad saw him. 

Unless... Was the squad even in there?

Echo tried to remember what day it was through the thick fog that seemed to have settled in his head, and thought about what days the squad went to train in the sparring rooms.

It was... Taungsday? No. It was Centaxday. On Centaxday, the batch went down to the sparring rooms at around twenty-hundred, and trained till twenty-two hundred-thirty. So, if he could just...

Echo glanced down at the pieces of armor he'd dropped. 

His bracer and comm were on the ground, and his bracer had a chronometer on it. 

Slowly, Echo forced himself to swallow and took a deep breath, straightening himself out and closing his eyes for a moment. He leaned over, and hissed as another piece of armor tumbled out of his arms. He picked them back up and attempted to adjusted them with his prosthetic arm, before clicking the chronometer on.

It read twenty-hundred twenty-nine. Perfect.

Echo swallowed again before taking a step towards the barracks door. He kept his gaze straight ahead as his vision started to swim in front of him while he walked. Desperately, he reached out to the door with his prosthetic, jabbing the button on the panel next to it, dropping more armor at the lack of support.

A disgusting wave a nausea crashed over him as he stumbled into the wide room when the door hissed open.

Crosshair snapped his eyes up to Echo from his bed as he stepped down the stairs un-gracefully, dropping pieces of armor on the way.

He-

Crosshair.

Echo did a double take, whipping around to face the sniper on his bed.

He was the only one in the room. Perhaps he didn't want to spar tonight? Or maybe Echo got the days wrong...

"Echo?" Crosshair spoke from his bed, shifting his rifle to his other side as he cleaned it.

Echo opened his mouth to answer, but instead, dropped his all of his armor completely, and darted into the fresher to vomit. 

His stomach tensed, pushing up everything he'd eaten in the last few hours right into the toilet. He crouched down, taking a quick breath before throwing up more. His throat burned, and tears sprang into his eyes as he gripped the edge of the toilet. 

He repeated that, two or three more times, before sitting back on his heels and sagging into the wall next to him. 

He breathed heavily, holding his flesh hand over his still aching stomach as he let out a cough. A gross taste burned in his mouth and he grimaced, swallowing down another urge to vomit before letting his head tilt back to rest against the wall.

Why the fuck was Crosshair in the barracks.

"What are you doing." The man in concern said flatly, suddenly standing at the door of the small fresher.

Echo groaned, before leaning over to heave into the toilet once again. 

Pain pulsed through his head as the muscles in his stomach squeezed and cramped together, making everything about the situation ten times worse then it needed to be. A tear rolled down his cheek as his face heated up, humiliated in front of the experienced sniper.

"Are you okay." Crosshair said from behind him, voice literally emotionless.

Echo shouldn't be this weak. He was an ARC Trooper for kriff's sake. He was supposed to be the strong one. The leader. And here he was, barely able to make it through the day with out getting hurt or sick.

Another tear rolled down his face, and then another, before he was full on crying while emptying his stomach in the small space. 

"Echo." 

Echo coughed as his stomach stopped for a moment, giving him a second to breathe. He tried to wipe his tears as he heard Cross step into the fresher.

"What." Echo croaked, clearing his burning throat and lowering his head as he leaned away from the toilet.

The sniper suddenly crouched down next to Echo, resting his forearms on his thighs as he turned to look at him.

Echo looked away.

"Are you 0kay?" Crosshair asked again. He was only in the bottom half of his armor, his top half covered by his blacks like Echo was.

Echo looked up to stare at him. 

Crosshair blinked.

"I-" Echo tried, his voice watery. "I'm sorry."

He sniffled, wiping his face with his left arm as he leaned back into the wall again.

"For what?" Cross asked, his face completely neutral.

Echo breathed, trying to inhale through his stuffy nose, before looking back up at Crosshair again. 

A  broken sob escaped his lips, and then all hell broke lose from there. 

Echo cried. He cried hard. Weeks of built up emotions, all poured out in front of him like he was some scared cadet all over again. Tears streamed down his face as he cried into his hand trying to cover his weakness, only to cry harder as everything hit him right there. All his unprocessed thoughts, all the lingering emotions that hadn't been dealt with, all of the situations he couldn't prevent because of his condition. He sobbed harder, wishing he could just be normal, with out complications, or ever present headaches that liked to come at the worst times.

And Crosshair got to witness all of it.

At some point, the man had shifted to sit next to Echo against the wall, which only made Echo cry harder. Cross showed no sign of any emotion the entire time, just sat next to him, in his presence. It was kind of reassuring, but it was hard to focus on when a sob racked his body every five seconds.

Slowly, Echo's body began to calm down as he tried to take a few deep breaths. 

It took a few minutes, but eventually, he got himself to a point where he was just wiping silent tears away from his cheeks as he sniffled. His stomach felt a little better, at least.

The two of them sat like that for a good five minutes before Crosshair spoke again.

"What just happened?" He questioned slowly, turning to face Echo.

Echo gave a shaky sigh before attempting to speak again.

"I'm- Im sorry, for everything," He started, choosing his words carefully. "I'm supposed to be better, I shouldn't keep messing up like this. I know I'm slowing your squad down, I'm becoming more of a burden everyday, and I'm sorry. I keep getting hurt and hurting you guys, I keep getting sick and I can't do anything about it and I'm afraid I'm gonna get culled if this keeps happening and-"

Echo was cut off abruptly cut off by a hand turning him and pulling him into a tight hug.

Crosshair had pulled him into a hug.

Oh.

Even in the uncomfortable position, the hug shot right through Echo's chest and made even more tears spring into his eyes. 

He sniffled again, before burying his face into Cross's shoulder and letting out an annoyed whimper. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, holding each other like it was the end of the world, and all they had were each other. Cross was usually cold and awkward with physical touch, but in his arms he felt warmer and more comfortable then usual. Echo sighed and relaxed into his arms as the sniper held him tighter.

"You are not a burden."

Echo laughed bitterly into Cross's shoulder.

"I dont-"

"You're not."

Echo looked up from his shoulder, pulling back to look Cross in the eye.

His face was level and relaxed, but his brow was furrowed in seriousness. The tattoo over his right eye was creased like it always was when Crosshair was being genuine, and Echo had to stare for a moment just to make sure. 

"But, I-"

"No." Cross said. "You are not a burden, you don't slow us down, we get hurt all the time, and you're doing fine. You don't need to do better."

Echo continued to stare as the sniper spoke with zero hesitation.

"You're fine just the way you are, and you absolutely will not be culled." Cross stated, giving a small nod as confirmation.

Echo blinked and stared at him.

"And you're most likely not sick, it's probably anxiety. Makes Tech sick sometimes too." The sniper said with a small shrug.

He sounded so real, and honest. There was no reason for Echo to not believe his words, but still, something in his head held him back. 

Echo grumbled a response as Cross took his flesh hand and gave it a squeeze.

"We'll work on it." Cross said, as if he’d read Echo’s mind. 

Echo gave a weak laugh as Cross pulled him close again, cradling the back of his head in his hand. Echo held on to him too, relaxing into Cross's calm and trying to get his legs into a more comfortable position. They were annoying, but he could deal with it if it meant getting to cuddle with Crosshair—which was a very rare thing known to the whole squad.

Crosshair pulled away for a second this time, and Echo looked at him, a flash of worry crossing his face.

The sniper cocked an eyebrow at him before smirking and getting to his feet, pulling Echo up along with him.

"You need sleep." Was all the man said before hitting the button on the toilet an dragging Echo out of the fresher and towards the beds.

"Cross, I'm not gonna be able to." Echo sighed as they closed in on Crosshair's bunk.

Sleepless nights were starting to become normal, and Echo wasn't seeing any hope for them stoping anytime soon.

"Sit." Cross said, gesturing to his bed as they stood next to it together. 

He rolled his eyes, and plopped down in the bunk as Cross wandered away to get something. Echo turned to glance at the target posters on the inside, and then to the neatly made sheets, and then the soft pillows. It was cozy, and also the same as Echo's bunk, but... definitely more cozy.

Echo began to remove his prosthetics as Crosshair came back with a cup in his hand.

"Here, drink this." He held the cup out for Echo as he set one of the prosthetics down.

Echo took the cup while Cross sat down next to him and began taking of the rest of his own lower half armor. 

He took a sip of the drink as Cross unsnapped his last thigh plate off before setting them aside along with Echo's prosthetics. The liquid was cool, and felt soothing in his stomach after the horrible nausea. His head was still hurting, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it was just ten minutes ago. Now that he had calmed down some, he was starting to understand Cross's suggestion about anxiety.

Echo was fine.

Or, at least he was going to be.

Downing the last of his drink, he leaned to the side to set the cup on the ground, and caught a glimpse of his scattered armor at the door of the barracks. Sighing, he facepalmed and began to turn to ask Cross if they should pick them up, but a pair of arms snaked around his torso before he could finish.

"We'll pick em up in the morning." Cross hummed into his shoulder, pulling him back into him.

Echo chuckled as the two of them fell back into the bunk in a spooning position. Crosshair pulled him close, tightening his arms and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck as he pulled his blanket over them. Relaxing into his arms, Echo felt his nausea begin to trickle away, leaving behind a content and warm feeling in his chest and stomach. Crosshair’s warmth and arms comforted him from their place around him, and he suddenly felt more grounded then he had then entire day.

A relieving sigh made its way out of Echo’s lungs as he listened to the harsh rain against the long window in the barracks.

Slowly, he let his eyes flutter shut. His head still ached, but it wasn’t as prominent, and more easy to ignore. Maybe he’d actually be able to sleep tonight.

The sniper fell asleep quick, almost immediately relaxing and settling into Echo’s back. He rested his left hand on Cross’s hand, and traced circles around the back of his palm until he started to slip into unconsciousness himself. His eyelids began to get heavier as his breathing steadied, and soon, his whole body relaxed—for the first time in a while—as he slept in Crosshair’s arms.

[pinkjiminssi]

So.. About That Hickey..

I think I’m still processing all of this and reminding myself I’m not dreaming 🤣 I seriously only got 3 hours of sleep last night and when I woke up the first thing I did was check twitter to be sure this “drunk bridal-style spinning hickey neck biting proudly showing off” moment actually happened!! 

.. I hate the way my brain works though. I was so happy that it took me forever to fall asleep, spent all day on cloud 9 despite being tired, .. and then my old nemesis, anxiety, stepped in. Well kind of. TBH if all of the MOTS ON:E Jikook moments we got happened with Jimin/anyone else or Jungkook/anyone else.. I would seriously be sitting here saying “well fuck.. I believe they WERE a couple, but looking at all of this it seems they are no longer together.” So really, this just confirmed what I already knew about Jimin and Jungkook: they’re a couple. My anxiety is over.. why? Why show us this? If they can cover all of JK’s tattoos, a hickey/bite mark/whatever we’re calling it should be super easy to hide. Sure it was just rehearsal.. but it was rehearsal with cameras rolling with every intention of releasing what was being filmed as future content. It could have (and some might argue should have) been covered.

Guys... I’m confused. And concerned. ❗❗❗ TW for drama, hate, homophobia, the usual anti issues

That “official” explanation.. again.. why? I’m assuming Jimin and Jungkook were asked and allowed to explain because of the chance of it being spotted and armys freaking out, so BH (or possibly even Jikook) thought to get ahead of the speculation by just being up front about it all.. but THAT explanation? I suppose it works for covering up the army panic of “Jungkook has a girlfriend?! *insert fangirl sobbing*” .. but that’s literally all it does (and only barely if you go looking at some of the anti’s reactions to it all). Really, all it did was draw even more attention and speculation. I mean.. this is, essentially, what we were told: Jimin and Jungkook were together the night before drinking, apparently without the other members as they didn’t seem to know all of this already (and they would have if they had been there), somehow hanging out and having drinks turns into Jungkook picking Jimin up bridal style (random but some of the k-army reactions on twitter were translating through google into “princess style” and I just think that’s so cute 🥰), spinning ensues, Jimin gets dizzy and wants Jungkook to put him down, ... and so he proceeds to do the only logical thing that any of us would have done in that situation... biting Jungkook’s neck? And hard enough to leave a mark the next day?? And instead of being peeved about it (like most of us would have been if our friend bit the crap out of us), Jungkook looks happy?? proud even??? 

And they arrived together the next day and continue to be cute and playful? 

I just.. I mean.. come on. First of all.. that’s a hickey. A bite leaves teeth marks. And one would assume a wild, drunken “let me down” chomp would be something that happens suddenly and ends very quickly. I know I for sure would drop someone on their ass if they decided to take a bite out of my neck (assuming I was even picking up and spinning around with one of my friends like that to begin with.. but let’s not even get into why that was going on at this point) .. but the way this bruised? Yeah. There were no teeth involved (at least not hard enough to leave indentations) and this took more than a couple of seconds of mouth-to-neck contact to still be that visible the next day. So.. in short. Jungkook arrives with a hickey, JK decides to not cover it up (or he would have shown up with it hidden and we see him get out of the car that morning with it clearly visible), BH staff sees it and also decides to not have it covered up and actually have it explained... and the explanation is “oh yeah Jimin just bit him, you know.. no big deal hehehe isn’t that funny?” 🤯 WHAT?! Yeah.. that’s totally normal, platonic behavior between adults...

I’m not saying Jimin and Jungkook are lying btw. I have no doubt it played out more or less exactly as they said with the exception of what they’re calling the end result. Jimin and Jungkook are fine.. I mean, what were they supposed to say? They’re not going to show up saying Jimin was sucking on Jungkook’s neck the night before. We’ll probably never know why Jungkook decided to not cover it up before arriving, but it’s his body and he gets to decide. It’s BH that has me so puzzled. Other than antis and people who refuse to see what’s literally right in front of their faces when it comes to Jikook.. who were BH expecting to believe the bite thing? Just among staff and the other members, it’s a laughable but safe “oh of course *wink wink*” explanation that allows everyone to carry on like normal. But to the public who don’t know them personally, don’t know their usual behavior and patterns, and who don’t have something like a non-disclosure agreement or professional courtesy preventing them from openly speculating.. it doesn’t fly. Pretty much everyone teen and up knows what a hickey looks like (either from having gotten/given one or at least seeing one on someone else in person or online). It’s immediately obvious what it is. And even if there was some uncertainty.. that it’s on his neck (instead of other easily accessible and less sensitive/stimulating locations) and just so happens to be right near his mole as it Jimin were aiming for it? Just another “too many coincidences” thing when it comes to Jikook.

Even antis on twitter couldn’t deny what it was and, so, had to resort to the “well I do that with my sibling and my uncle’s pet raccoon all the time it’s just family things” excuse and/or the “yeah well someone ELSE in the group (or a girlfriend) gave him that and they’re just covering by saying it was Jimin.” Oh. And the same old “it’s just fan service” excuse (as if Jungkook would let someone bruise his neck for the purposes of fanservice which, again, BTS has never done or needed to do. Forever pissed off that so many in this fandom act like Jungkook is a puppet doing whatever the “evil company” tells him to do regardless of his personal feelings or boundaries. The man has tattoos covering nearly every inch of his arm despite that being looked down on in Korea. At this point he can do whatever the fuck he wants). So.. why?? Seriously, why? This all could have easily been avoided with simple makeup.

When they’re doing official content they’re all literally followed around by a flurry of staff fixing hair, dabbing sweat, touching up makeup, etc. Even though it was rehearsal, staff were everywhere in the footage that’s made its way online. If they were worried that it would be seen in the background and “taken the wrong way,” just have the staff occasionally touch up the makeup. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” But instead of doing the obvious, BH decides to: not cover it, draw attention to it by asking about it and letting them continue to talk about it, go out of their way to get a camera on it, and then include it in the final cut of the content they sent out?

BTS is literally the most popular group in the world right now and BH has become a behemoth of a company that runs like a well-oiled machine. They’re not stupid; this was not a mistake. For some reason they wanted us to see this and, one would assume based on the lack of a more believable explanation, they wanted us to come to the conclusion that we all have: Jimin gave Jungkook a hickey. You know they have teams dedicated to monitoring reactions to content on social media. You know they know the dialog surrounding Rosebowl, Black Swan MMA, the Memories 2020 “almost kiss,” etc. etc. All of this got “jikook,” “hickey” and variations of their names trending for HOURS (in multiple countries and worldwide). 

Out of curiosity, I decided to check the trends at the time of writing this. As of 3 AM CST (about 24 hours AFTER the clips started showing up online), there was still a hashtag trending related to all of this: #FREEJUNGKOOK.. and the tweets being directed toward BH are.. disturbing to say the least:

While I agree that the boys should trend more often based on their talents and music.. what’s going on right now is a homophobic 💩 show accusing BH of “scripting” interactions (rather than.. you know.. Jungkook interacting with whoever he wants however he wants.. the usual “mindless puppet JK” narrative), trying to coordinate the mass sending of angry emails, trying to get people to stop buying paid content, accusing BH of taking advantage of the members.. I mean it goes on and on. And BH know what’s going on right now. They’re seeing the reactions... the good and the extremely negative. And still they let this out. And this is all not even CONSIDERING the mountain of other moments that made the cut on MOTS ON:E. 

(side note, the above pic just oozes happiness and it’s so cute I love it!! 😭)

So.. even though I’ve said it dozens of times already... WHY? W H Y? I’m an anxious person by nature and not very trusting. I believe Jimin and Jungkook and I don’t think they’ve been lying and pretending for “fanservice” all of these years. I respect them both too much as individuals and artists to believe that they would stoop to such tactics just to generate a little more “interest” and revenue. I’m suspicious of BH. BTS doesn’t need fanservice to get attention; literally all of 2020 and 2021 so far has proven that beyond a doubt. Even if they suddenly made the decision to do fs.. why not go with the most popular ship (taekook) or at least one that isn’t so hotly debated on social media (remove Jimin, Jungkook and Tae from the equation and you still have four members to “play” with who have much less potential to have fs devolve into a toxic crap show all over the internet). Showing us this will do nothing to help BTS as a group or Jimin and Jungkook at this point. In fact.. all it can do is hurt. Hurt BH, hurt the group, and hurt the individual members, heck.. even potentially hurt other BH/HYBE groups. I’ve already seen people on twitter saying they’re “done” spending money on anything BH or BTS puts out because they’re “sick of jikook in their faces and just two of the seven hogging all of the screen time.” Whether or not that “spending freeze” actually materializes into anything noticeable remains to be seen of course.. but the threat is there and always has been. What is the motive? And why now? As much as my “hopeless romantic” heart would like to believe they’re preparing us for Jikook to be “out” .. I seriously don’t think that is ever going to happen. Certainly not now at the height of the group’s fame, with them being given Presidential honors and ambassador status, and with military service still looming over them all. And let’s not forget... Korea is NOT a safe place for a queer couple. Letting us see and know what they did through what was released has the potential to put Jimin and Jungkook (and the other members by proxy) in danger. Sure.. BTS has never been hardline rule followers and have been breaking molds and shattering norms from the start, so “officially” having an openly gay couple in the group wouldn’t be impossible.. just... highly highly improbable. Especially right now... and I’m concerned. I don’t want to sound like the creeps I posted a screenshot of above throwing blame at the company. The boys chose to renew their contracts with the for a reason so we have to trust their judgement as a group... but still, I’m worried and I’m questioning what the purpose was here. 

[satan-ruler-of-hells]

The Only Exception (2)

Holy crap yall I did it!!!! Part 2 is here finally and finished. A huge huge thanks to Pies and Noodles whom without this would still be stuck in drafts somewhere probably never to be completed. You guys are the absolute best! 

Tagging: @pies-writes-and-more @thisnoodlewritesao3 @dickbutt-queen

Part 1

 At least for about a week, you should've known your luck wouldn't hold out as when you got back to your dorm, Ushijima was waiting for you. 

  You slowed to a stop a few feet away from him, " Did we have a study session? I'm sorry we can reschedule but I'm tired and plus it's late-"

"You've been avoiding me." 

He cut you off looking up at you,  the look on his face stopped whatever excuse you had come up with. He looked rough, the dark circles under his eyes, though barely noticeable stood out like neon signs to you, probably staying up late practicing. Your throat felt tight, you gestured to the door inviting him in, as private as Ushijima was you knew this wasn't a conversation he wanted to have in the hallway. The silence that filled the small room was deafening and for once you had no idea what to say.

"Did I do something wrong?" You don't think you've ever heard him sound so soft, so unsure of himself and your chest tightened painfully. You resisted the urge to go over and hug him,  deciding instead to wrap your arms around yourself, attempting to hold both you, and your emotions, together. 

"No, Ushijima you did nothing wrong I've just been busy-" 

"Don't lie to me please. You've been avoiding me and I'd like to know why." 

"I've been studying."

"No. "

"Cheerleading practice has left me exhausted."

"No."

"Filling out college applications is very time consuming."

"No. "

"What do you want me to say!?" Even you could hear the desperation in your voice and tears filled your eyes. You looked at the floor biting your lip to keep from sobbing. His hands gently grabbed your chin, pulling your eyes up to meet his and it felt like he was looking straight through you to your soul. 

"Just tell me the truth. That's all." 

You stepped back wiping your face of the few tears that managed to escape. 

"Fine, you want the truth? How about every time I see you my stomach starts doing cartwheels and my heart feels like it might beat out of its chest. I'm almost entirely convinced that I've never felt more safe than when your arms are wrapped around me and the sound of your voice is the most calming thing I've ever had the pleasure of hearing. I can’t sleep at night unless I've heard from you and my dreams are filled with you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and it terrifies me.” The last part comes out as a whisper and you’re unable to keep the tears from free falling, you're not sure how it happens but you end up pressed into Ushijima’s chest sobbing. He doesn’t say anything, just hugs you tight rubbing soothing circles into your back.

 You stay that way until the tears stop falling and then some. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice is completely strained and though you know you should, because his shirt is soaked and a million other reasons, step away you can’t bring yourself to move, not yet. 

“What for? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

 You could practically see the burrow in his brow and the genuine confusion in his voice almost made you smile. Ushijima Wakatoshi, reliable and unwavering, even when everything around him changes, he stays the same. He pulled back wiping your face with a gentleness you’d never seen from him and looked into your eyes, like he was looking for something. 

“I love you, I want you to know that, despite what may or may not happen you deserve to know. I know you’re scared, and I would never ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. But think about it, please?” You don’t recall ever hearing Ushijima saying that much at one time and it left you speechless but you hesitantly nodded your agreement. He placed a gentle kiss to your forehead hugging you once more before leaving, the door shutting behind him with a soft click. 

You don’t remember falling asleep but the next morning your head was pounding and there was an increasingly familiar ache in your chest. You'd never been more thankful for a Saturday in your life because you had plans of never leaving this room again, much less your bed. It felt like you had been hit by a train, or maybe caught one of Ushijimas spikes to the chest. Just thinking about him sent a new wave of pain through your entire body and you kept replaying his words to you last night in your head. He’d said the word so casually, like it was easy. One of your favorite things about Ushi was that he didn’t sugarcoat anything and has never lied to you. Your heart knew this, your head was not as easily persuaded.

A knock at the door startled you out of your thoughts, you contemplated getting out of bed or just pretending you were still asleep ultimately deciding on the former. Opening the door you couldn’t resist the smile that tugged at your lips, seeing a still sleepy Tendou with a bag full of both of your favorite snacks and Shonen Jump. You almost immediately launched yourself at him wrapping your whole body around him, he caught you easily and hugged you just as tight. 

“You’re an idiot you do know that right?” his voice was muffled but you knew he was smiling.

“I missed you too Satori.” and you truly had. The hole that was left from not being around your best friend was bigger than you anticipated, like you’d lost a limb. Having him here you almost felt whole, if not for the gaping hole in your chest. He walked the both of you inside, shutting the door behind him, you weren’t ready to let go of him quite yet, setting everything down on your desk to embrace you fully.

 You don’t know how long the two of you sat there before you finally let him put you down and you just talked about any and everything you’d missed in your period of self isolation. You were grateful that he avoided talking about Ushijima or anything relating to him, you were almost able to completely ignore the ache in your chest. You’d nearly forgotten just how much Tendou’s mere presence helped calm you, as wild as he was he was still a crucial part to you maintaining your sanity. 

The sun had been down for hours, the light of the full moon filled your room before Tendou finally decided to bring up the elephant in the room.

“Am I allowed to ask what happened or are you gonna go back to avoiding me and anything that has to do with feelings?” He said it with a grin, you shot him a look and nudged his shoulder playfully.

“I said I was sorry.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m ready to let you off easy, I missed having you and your emotionally constipated self around. Plus it’s boring being the only crazy one.” You shared a laugh rolling your eyes, his face turning slightly more serious and you could see the concern in his eyes. So you told him everything, from your childhood (something Tendou had only heard bits and pieces of himself) the night you’d told Ushijima all the way up to his confession last night. You didn’t realize you’d started crying again until Tendou wiped them away and passed you the tissues. 

“I know he wouldn’t lie to me, Ushijima doesn’t lie or sugarcoat or hold back. I’m just scared.” You sniffled, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone Tendou and I don’t want to ruin anything. I can’t imagine him not being in my life, it’s like he’s always been there and when he’s not around it hurts.”

“Yeah sweetheart that’s what happens when you fall in love with someone.” he brushed a piece of hair out of your face,” Plus look at it this way, it’s not like he’s asking you to marry him ok? Talk to him, tell him everything and just see where it goes. The only way you could lose him is by shutting him out. Ushijima, the man who literally never speaks, told you he loved you. That doesn’t sound like somebody who’s in a hurry to let you go.”

Tendou changed the course of the conversation soon after, but his words still played over in your head well after he had fallen asleep. You covered him with a blanket quietly picking up all the discarded food wrappers and trash from around your bed before squishing yourself next to him in the bed. You’d forgotten in the past few weeks just how big Tendou really was despite his lanky frame, but his height more than made up for it. Still you slept more soundly that night than you had in weeks, comforted by the fact that whatever happened you’d always have the privilege of being loved by Tendou Satori.

It was nearly two weeks later before you found yourself pacing anxiously outside the gym one night, long after practice had ended. With Nationals coming up you knew this would be the best place to find Ushijima, for as long as you’d known him he always put in even more extra practice in this time of year.

 Wrapped up in your own thoughts and anxieties, you failed to realize the sounds of a volleyball connecting with the floor had silenced completely and Ushijima was leaning against the door to the gym. Hearing him clear his throat you stopped dead in your tracks, face flushing a bright crimson as you turned to face him.

“Hi.” You said sheepishly, Ushijima raised an eyebrow motioning for you to come inside. You couldn’t help the way your heart raced and for the first time in two weeks the ache in your chest receded.  Despite the fact you’d rehearsed this conversation in your head a million times, something about him always made you lose your focus, his scent, his presence, everything about him. His eyes met yours and it was like Ushijima stole the breath out of your lungs, this beautiful, perfect man loved you. How did you ever get so lucky?

“I’m sorry it took me so long, I didn’t know what to say for a while. Then when I did figure it out, I didn’t know how to actually say it. If I’m being completely honest I still don’t, but I want to try.” You swallowed thickly but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. Ushijima looked at you with no expectations, no delusions, he just saw you. For everything that you were, the pretty and the ugly, he had seen it all and he was still looking at you like you single handedly put the stars in the sky. (Or like you’d invented volleyball, in your defense you’ve never seen the man look at anything like this before.) For the first time in your life you felt seen, not only that but you, for the first time in your life wanted to believe that happy endings could exist.

It was like he knew you were struggling, then again didn’t he always? Because he smiled that smile that never failed to cause the butterflies in your stomach to make a fuss, like he was encouraging you to continue. With that smile you’d walk through fire for him if it would make it last even a second longer. 

“I want to see where this goes, because to be honest I don’t know how much longer I can keep lying to myself about how I feel. I want to be around you all the time and when you’re not there it’s like a piece of me is missing. That terrifies me and excites me but for you I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t do. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let myself fall for someone but you make me want to jump. Before you it was easy to keep a comfortable distance, keep people at arms length, and that I was ok being alone because it wasn’t worth hitting the ground. I can’t let go of what we have here, whatever it is, because I don’t ever want to lose you.”

You looked away for the first time since you started speaking to him, the next part coming out as nothing but a whisper, “I hope you’ll catch me, because I think I might be in love with you.”

Ushijima must’ve heard you, next thing you knew he had you wrapped up in his arms hugging you close. 

“I’ll never let you hit the ground.”

 His voice so close to your ear sent tingles down your spine, but that was nothing compared to the feeling of his lips on yours. You still didn’t know if you believed in happy endings but at this moment, you were willing to start.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Satisfied, Part 40

First

Previous

Next

~~~

Marinette didn’t know when exactly she ended up living at Wayne Manor full time, all that she knew was that it happened. Eventually, staying over to work with Tim, to spar with Damian, to talk to Jason and Dick, morphed into her never really going home. After all, it was always too late, or the bed was too soft to get up, or there was a dog asleep in her lap how dare you suggest she move.

But her routine didn’t change much at all. Their coffee was returned to them, so Tim and Marinette spent basically all day binge-drinking and working (with mandated breaks enforced by Jason and Dick). At night, well…

“Another boys night?” She said innocently, barely even looking up from what must have been the millionth flower she had embroidered.

Jason shrugged. “Sorry, Mari, you just wouldn’t want to come.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. Honestly, how had boys night been the best thing they could come up with? They’d been doing this for years. How did they even have secret identities at this point? Still, she nodded and smiled. “Sounds great. Have fun.”

“Try and get some sleep!” Called Dick over his shoulder.

“I won’t!” She yelled back, then went back to work. After a few minutes she stood up and brushed herself off. “Tikki, spots on.”

She grinned when she saw her outfit was finally back to normal. She’d kept the leather jacket, boots, and fighting gloves to hide the fact that she’d been weakened before, but now she’d added some tiny features to complete the look. Long, red ribbons tied her hair into her trademark ponytails, and she’d given herself a utility belt to match the rest of the family (also to hold snacks).

She hopped out the window and then made a large loop around the city to get to her and Damian’s meeting spot.

She rolled her eyes when she saw him. “Man, why’d you have to go for the utility belt first? I owe Bats one hour of sleep,” she whined.

He huffed softly. “Shut up! It’s small and easy to manage!”

She shook her head exasperatedly and pulled a bag of chips from one of her many pockets. “Mhmm.”

“You can’t judge me! You’re the one with streamers following behind you! That’s terrible for battle!”

“But great for aesthetic,” she said, grinning. “But you’re actually wrong. Pull on one.”

He gave her an incredulous look but did reach out to pull on one of the four trails of ribbon. It crumbled in his hand and, after a few moments, began to regenerate itself. “Uh….”

“Yep! It’s essentially streamers but even easier to break. I’m better at fashion than you, Kit.”

He sent her a glare. “Whatever. Let’s get on with patrols.”

‘Patrols’ was quickly derailed when they found a cute stray cat and started chasing it. Bruce would probably let Marinette have a pet if she asked, and it was so cute. She was about two seconds away from catching it when her receiver sprung to life.

She pouted and skid to a stop, bring a hand up to turn it on.

“Ladybug, you should come see this,” said Red Hood.

“Fine, location?”

He gave it to her and she turned off her comm.

“I have to go. Catch him for me?”

“Only if you agree to call him BatCat.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll agree to consider it.”

Damian grinned at her and disappeared in search of the cat.

After a bit she managed to find her way to where Red Hood sat on a rooftop. “Hey,” she said casually, dropping down next to him.

“Mari,” he greeted, reaching out to poke her cheek.

“So, is there actually something or did you just want to see me?” She teased, smiling.

He didn’t smile back, nodding to a billboard nearby.

Her eyes found their way to it and she cringed. It had been completely defaced, an uneven coating of black spray-paint making whatever it was originally advertising worthless, the words ‘Come home NightMare <3’ where displayed proudly across it in an acidic green.

She balled her fists. She didn’t want to go back yet, but the Wayne Gala was only a week and a half away at this point. They’d obviously need her there to go over the plan.

The therapy sessions were helping, but the idea of getting back in that suit again… even seeing Kaalki made her feel a little sick to her stomach.

She steeled herself. “Right, I’ll go tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to, y’know.”

She bit the inside of her cheek. Technically, he was right. She could technically  just opt not to go and they could hope that the security the Waynes had put in place would be enough. But, on a far more real level, he couldn’t be more wrong. She knew that they were getting in no matter how many people they had to fight against them because, ultimately, Batman wouldn’t have them killed and the Rogues had no such reservations.

Marinette pressed a kiss to his cheek. “It’ll be okay.”

~

She sat on the billboard, swinging her legs back and forth as she rested her head back against the paint. This was fine, she told herself. She wasn’t going to be killing anyone anymore. All the Rogues knew she wouldn’t, if the fact that they’d allowed her to disappear for weeks was any indication.

She wasn’t supposed to kill anyone last time, a pessimistic voice said.

She was glad to see the familiar uniforms below and hopped down, waving at them. “Hey, boys, been a while!”

They didn’t return her smile. She felt a needle prick her neck and next thing she knew she was in a warehouse.

Harley leaned into view, her blue eyes scrutinizing her. “Hey, darlin’, how you feeling?”

“Could be better,” Marinette mumbled.

She felt Harley and Ivy pull her into a hug and numbly returned it, closing her eyes. It only lasted for a few seconds, though, before Harley was quiet literally pulled away. Poison Ivy quickly scampered off into the corner.

She looked up to see Joker and cringed internally. She’d been hoping to never see him again, but she supposed she never had been lucky.

“Hello,” she said carefully, giving a weak grin.

“Hi!” He said, giving a wave and of course he was the one to return her smile. “We have some work to do.”

Marinette bit the inside of her cheek. “We?”

“Yup! Us three are going to Wayne Manor!”

She frowned confusedly and glanced around at everyone else. She couldn’t gauge anything from their faces, but Harley didn’t seem upset so she hoped this meant that she wasn’t about to be killed. She nodded hesitantly.

“Right. I’ll have to get inside the building and find a room that won’t change.”

Joker nodded and offered her a hand up. “You know where Wayne Manor is?”

She stared at his hand and swallowed thickly before taking it. She winced when she realized how warm it was. She’d been expecting something cold and clammy, like a corpse, but this was somehow worse. Knowing he was alive and just like that made her stomach turn.

She opened a portal to outside Wayne Manor.

“I don’t know how we’re supposed to get past the cameras.”

“Like this,” he chirped, pointing his gun at the nearest one and shooting it out.

Marinette clenched her fists. “Yeah, that’s one way of doing it,” she mumbled. She opened a portal to get inside the fence and cringed as another gunshot rang out. He was shooting out every camera, which was a good thing from a ‘breaking in’ standpoint but bad from a ‘protecting the Waynes’ standpoint.

They slipped through the house, undisturbed. Of course it was undisturbed, there was no one here --.

Except there was. And she looked right into the face of Tim.

Her eyes widened and she looked at Joker and Harley, hoping against hope that they would somehow miss him. He was short, this could work –.

But she never was lucky. And Joker had his gun out.

She jumped in front of Tim, pushing him to hide behind her.

Wow, she really wished she could stop having guns pointed at her. It really hadn’t gone well for her since she’d come to Gotham. Last time Robin had been shot, the time before that she’d been.

She wasn’t anxious to see what would happen if she got shot this time, she had no clue how Joker bullets would work with her costume. Would she not be affected? She hoped so, but what would happen if she was? This was a chemical thing, not just the usual brute force. Would the suit be useless against it? Would it keep her alive, choking on her own blood until the chemicals were out of her system? Which would be worse?

And she knew he would shoot her.

Because, ultimately, she was expendable. All the Rogues were to Joker. Sure, it would be a pain to plan around it, but they could always mow down security guards and get inside that way.

She just needed to reason with him. Would he listen to reason? She hoped so.

She felt hands grip the back of her dress and looked back at Tim. He was definitely playing up whatever fear he had, because he looked terrified. Good, at least they would never expect him to be a vigilante.

Not that it would matter if Joker shot them.

“What’s wrong, NightMare? You look like you’ve just had a bad dream.”

She resisted the urge to gag. She’d heard of how bad his jokes were, but really? He was worse than Chat Noir and – WAIT DON’T LOAD THE BARREL LIKE THAT.

She swallowed thickly, a hand reaching back to make sure Tim didn’t try and do something stupid like push her out of the way.

“Joker, we can’t shoot him,” she tried.

“I told you she would be a liability, Harls,” Joker said. “She just doesn’t have the balls to kill people.”

Harley winced beside him, her eyes falling to the floor.

“But it’s not even that!” She said. Except it was. But she could work around it. Reason. She needed a reason. “Listen to me! If we kill him then the Gala probably wouldn’t happen. Bruce loves his kids, right? If he ended up dead, then he would probably cancel. We can’t kill him!”

Joker stared her down. He wasn’t smiling behind (the mask? his face?) anymore, his lips set in a grim line. This was almost worse. She almost missed the smiling, at least then she had an idea of what was going through his head.

And then he lowered his gun.

She let herself relax a little. They continued through the house with Tim at their side. She made sure to stand between him and the Rogues. Just in case.

After she had pretended to memorize every room in the house (because, really, she knew most of it by heart thanks to the prank war), she opened a portal for them.

Joker stepped through and Harley stopped her before she could follow. “Puddin’, we’re just going to have a little chat, okay?”

“Fine!”

Marinette tensed. The portal closed and they were cast into silence. She hadn’t made it too obvious she was a hero, right? After all, it could just be brushed off as her hating the idea of killing…

Right?

Harley waved Tim off and she glanced back at him. He was still holding onto the sleeve of her dress. She gave him a small smile. “Hey, it’s fine. Go back to work, alright?”

He gave her a slightly skeptical look, but then nodded. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

She watched him leave and then turned to Harley. Was she suspicious? Did Marinette give anything away accidentally? Was this it?

“So, how do you know Tim?”

Marinette tensed. “I’m sorry?”

“You know him. How?”

She bit the inside of her cheek. What could she say? She couldn’t call him her friend, that would make it to obvious who she was. But she couldn’t act like she didn’t know him at all, that would make Harley suspicious…

“I guess I could call it…” She took a deep breath to steel herself. Her face reddened. God, he was going to hear this. “A celebrity crush?”

Harley squealed. “That’s so cute! Oh, and you saved his life? C’mon! He owes you a date!”

Damn it, Joker should have shot her. It would have been less excruciating than this. She buried her face in her hands. “I’d prefer… not doing that.”

The woman wasn’t listening, though. “Oh, you two would be so cute together! Your kids would be --!” Marinette decided that she was not going to pay attention to this, glaring at the ground as they walked through the mansion.

She was never going to live this down.

~~~

SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE THERE WAS A HURRICANE

~

Taglist

@comet-kun @thatonecroc @trippingovermyfeet @swiftie-miraculer13 @nickristus-dreamer @moongoddesskiana @i-am-ironic @indecisive-mess-named-me @thebooki3h @insane-fangirl-of-everything @deepestobservationwombat @theymakeupfairies @fatimaabbasrizvi @clumsy-owl-4178 @fanofalittletoomuch @iamablinkmarvelarmy @nathleigh @lilkymilky @silvergold-swirl @dino-lovingreen-angel @thestressmademedoit @kissa-chan @ladybug-182 @alysrose-starchild @t1dwarrior-of-earth @spyofthenightcourt @rowanrouge @nik-nak-3 @momothefemur @aestheticnpoetic @labschaos @our-preciousss @mochinek0 @eliza-bich @mythogaychic @severelyenchantedwonderland @sashakoi @smolplantmum @bluesimani @tropestropestropes @kitsunebell @keepingupwiththemalfoys @sassakitty @2confused-2doanything @too0bsessedformyowngood @all-mights-asscheeks @demonicbusiness @meg-an-ace @fantasiame @qualitypeacepainter @multplelifes @kokotaru

<3

[somethingwritey]

sneak peek: “run to you” - a rangshi longfic

💖 i am currently working on a rangshi longfic (50k words at the moment) that i’ll eventually publish on ao3. it takes place directly following the events of The Shadow of Kyoshi by F.C. Yee. 

💖 my writing commissions are open! message me with commission requests or questions! 

💖 here’s a sneak peek of “run to you”! 

--- 

Kyoshi had blood on her hands.

Quite literally, at the moment.

She stared down at her palms and fingers, hoping they didn’t shake as badly as she feared.

She knew she needed to wash the weight of Rangi’s blood away, watch it swirl down her arms and out of sight, as if that alone could wipe away the pain she’d caused her girl, but for some reason, Kyoshi couldn’t seem to move her feet.

Every part of her felt heavy and languid, and it was hard work to imagine that these were the same limbs that had carried, defended, and healed only hours ago. Kyoshi wanted to curl up into a ball and wait for someone else to save the world for once.

Because that was the oh, so incessant problem about Avatarhood. No matter how many messes Kyoshi cleaned up, there were still new terrors cropping up the moment she sat down to catch her breath. It was exhausting. Behind all the makeup and armor, she was still the servant girl in the mansion - tasked with the never-ending job of cleaning up.

“You saved her life.”

Kyoshi lifted her head to see Hei-Ran, standing only a little less poised than usual. The teetering fate of Rangi had taken a toll on even the most rigid members of her group.

“I did my duty.” The words came out defeated, as if Kyoshi had lost instead of won. Then again, with Yun’s grey body lying somewhere inside the ruined mansion waiting to be put to rest, and a bloodied Rangi being tended to by Atuat, maybe she couldn’t claim victory after all.

Peace comes at a price.

She heard the words in Lao Ge’s voice, although she was fairly certain he’d never actually uttered them to her.

“You did far beyond that, Avatar.” Hei-Ran thought about it for a moment, then took a seat beside her - flicking her robes out behind her as she did. “You should be honored for what you’ve done.”

“Yeah, except no one will even know!” Kyoshi slammed her fists down on the ground, causing a small tremor beneath them. “Zoryu’s made sure of that! He gets all the credit, and all he’s done is sentence an innocent man to death!”

This outburst probably wouldn’t win her any favor in Hei-Ran’s eyes - the woman so committed to her duty that she’d willingly sacrificed her hair and honor to acknowledge her failures - but Kyoshi couldn’t help it.

Her first choice for a confidant would’ve been Rangi, of course. Or maybe Kelsang. But with the latter dead and the former barely conscious, she supposed the old headmistress would have to do. The woman had claimed Kyoshi as a daughter back in North Chung-Ling. Perhaps that warranted a bit of sympathy or at least a listening ear.

“The Fire Lord’s job is complicated,” Hei-Ran stated. “As is yours. You’ve both been tasked with the impossible: governing a world that does not wish to be governed by you. Chaos is the natural order, Kyoshi, as much as we pretend it is not. The Fire Nation must go to great lengths to maintain our control. Even if it… requires some bloodshed.”

“I didn’t ask for this.” Kyoshi shook her head. She no longer felt the dull aching in her chest that used to come with a reminder of her station, but that didn’t mean the Era of Kyoshi hadn’t been stained with blood and confusion and deceit. 

“The Spirits chose you.”

Why?

The plaintive question would’ve made her sound like a child, so Kyoshi sealed her lips and kept the pleading inside. She wanted answers. And since Hei-Ran would understand nothing more about the mysterious methods of the spirits than she did, Kyoshi decided to at least start with something the woman stood a chance at knowing.

“Was Rangi mad?” She rubbed the side of her face and dried blood flaked off, fluttering towards the ground. “When I left, I mean.”

A ghost of a smile flitted across Hei-Ran’s face. “Enough to shoot flames out of her ears.”

For a moment, Kyoshi tried to picture it - a steaming mad Rangi, with her face boiling red and fists clenched into tight balls. The last time she’d gotten that upset, the Firebender had flipped a table off a balcony. For a moment, the memory tugged at the corner of Kyoshi’s mouth - lifting it into a lopsided smile. 

And then the moment passed.

“I’m sorry I killed your daughter.”

Hei-Ran frowned. “You healed her, Kyoshi.”

Only after Rangi had traveled to fight alongside the girl who’d locked her into the ground and put her mother on a possible death bed. “Because I put her in danger. It doesn’t count. Doing right by her after that was just… canceling out the bad.”

Kyoshi felt like she’d been doing that her whole life: making mistakes and then fixing them. It didn’t seem right to take the credit for something she’d messed up in the first place.

You were the one innocent party, Yun had told her. Oh, if only that were the truth.

“Hei-Ran?” Atuat had emerged from the infirmary, traveling up to where Kyoshi and the headmistress sat. Hei-Ran was on her feet immediately, but whether to appear respectable in front of the doctor or out of fear for what news she’d bring, Kyoshi couldn’t be sure.

“How is she?” Kyoshi found her way to her feet as well, Atuat’s presence sending a fresh wave of worry down her spine.

“Oh good, Kyoshi’s here, too. Saves me a trip.” Atuat took her time reaching them and with each passing moment, Kyoshi found herself more and more on edge. By the time the Waterbender made it over, she could feel her body vibrating again.

“Well?” Hei-Ran demanded, clearly just as impatient as Kyoshi, but with better control over her exterior.

“She’s asleep.” Atuat’s manner always confused Kyoshi a bit. She never seemed exhausted by the threat of death. Perhaps she’d just become too acquainted with it, or maybe mastering the power of healing made her immune to the fear. Either way, she always emerged from battle hospitals like she’d finished a rather routine examination.

“Will she be okay?” Kyoshi remembered the crunch of earth as it impaled Rangi’s back. The way the blood had rushed away from her lips. How she’d looked up at her as the life drained away. “Is the damage permanent? I know I didn’t heal her right. I tried my best, but -”

“Kyoshi.” Atuat held up her hand. “Rangi is a strong girl. She’s going to be alright. In pain, certainly, but in the end alright.”

Kyoshi exhaled shakily, barely able to keep it together enough to thank her.

“You need rest, too, Avatar,” Atuat pressed, motioning down towards the infirmary. “There’s a spare bed down the hill.”

The last thing Kyoshi wanted to do was sleep. How could she just let herself clock out when Rangi needed caring for? When the Flying Opera Company was wounded? When Jinpa still hadn’t come down from his medicine high due to her own poor measurements?

As if Atuat could read her mind, the doctor narrowed her eyes. “That monk is off his rocker. You gave him too much.”

“Sorry, sifu.”

“Rest, Kyoshi,” was the only response she got in return. “And take off those clothes. You’ve got blood all over you.”

///

“I can feel you staring at me.”

Kyoshi jumped a little, hurriedly switching her gaze to the other side of the room and away from Rangi’s bed before deciding hiding it was futile. The Firebender hadn’t moved in over two hours, but apparently, the wounded girl was more perceptive than Kyoshi had anticipated.  

“I thought you were sleeping!” Kyoshi whispered, doing her best not to disturb Kirima and Wong, who were asleep in their respective wooden beds.

“I’m resting.” Rangi still hadn’t opened her eyes. “A concept you might not be familiar with.”

A hum of relief ran through Kyoshi’s arms. If Rangi was well enough to give her shit, then maybe that meant the girl would be alright after all.

“I know how to rest.” Kyoshi crossed her arms and did her best to look wounded.  

“Yeah, and Jinpa’s a murderer.”

Kyoshi glanced over at her secretary, who was propped up against the wooden headboard and still singing to himself in dulcet tones.  

“Kyoshi, please try to sleep,” Rangi pleaded.

Easier said than done. Sitting still seemed too difficult for Kyoshi at the moment, let alone actually falling asleep.

“Yeah, well,” Kyoshi mumbled offhandedly. “I’m not really keen on seeing you die again in my dreams.” It came out sounding more dire than she’d meant.

Only then did Rangi open her eyes, staring at Kyoshi from across the way. “I’m fine.”

It would’ve been a lot more convincing if her hands weren’t locked tight around the thin cotton sheets, compensating for some sort of pain she must be feeling.

“Fine?” Kyoshi stared at her incredulously. “You were stabbed.”

“Can you two please keep it down?” Kirima suddenly cut in, gesturing to her splinted leg. “Some of us are trying to heal!”

Apparently, her ability to tell who was asleep badly needed fine-tuning.

“Noise won’t delay that process!” Kyoshi shot back, trying to keep her smile at bay. She really had missed her friends.

Silence fell back over the infirmary, and Kyoshi allowed herself to lean against the headboard for the first time all night. She drew in a shaky breath, basking in the safety she felt around the Flying Opera Company - even if their legs were broken.

It was a few minutes before Rangi spoke again, lowering her voice to whisper in that raspy way of hers. “You’re pretty far away, you know.”

At first, Kyoshi wanted to protest that of course her energy was distant - she’d killed one of her closest friends and nearly lost the other one - before she realized Rangi was speaking literally. She closed her mouth. Hard.

A little too hard, actually. Her jaw still ached where Yun had thrown the discs.

Rangi even managed a little grin. “Do you think Atuat will kill you for sleeping with a patient?”

Giddy with the idea of lying beside Rangi again, Kyoshi slid out of bed and made her way over to the other side of the room. She’d flirted with the idea of climbing in before, but with Rangi’s fragile state, she hadn’t wanted to cause any more damage than she’d already done.

“You’re not gonna break me,” Rangi mumbled, but Kyoshi still saw her struggle to make space in the small frame.

“This is a bad -”

“Will you quit worrying and just crawl in, please?” Rangi did her best to pat the bed beside her, wincing horribly. “I’ve suffered worse.”

“Mmm, what a terrible fate,” Kyoshi grinned, finally allowing herself to gingerly lie down beside Rangi. “Sleeping next to Kyoshi. What an awful - hey!”

Rangi had elbowed her in the ribs. She tried to laugh, but it barely masked the tremor behind it.

“Stop hurting yourself,” Kyoshi hissed, laying an angry kiss on the Firebender’s cheek. “I mean it.”

In response, Rangi moved to curl up closer against Kyoshi’s chest, her eyes falling shut again. For a long while, they stayed just like that - Rangi in too much pain to move and Kyoshi too nervous about causing her any more. It felt awfully reminiscent of the first time they’d shared a bed, with Kyoshi awake all night inhaling the smell of Rangi’s hair against her lips.

Kyoshi had vowed to protect her then, and she still wanted to protect her now. She didn’t miss the way Rangi’s face screwed up as she slept, sleep inhibiting her ability to hide the discomfort. A couple of times, Atuat came to check on her. She clicked her teeth together at the sight of Kyoshi in the bed, but didn’t seem altogether surprised. The doctor didn’t force her away either, something for which Kyoshi was eternally grateful.

In the blue-grey hours of the morning, Kyoshi finally succumbed to the heaviness in her eyelids - letting them shut as her head fell back against the headboard - at last, too tired to worry about any new dangers coming for them that night.

-----

💖  that’s all for now :) i might post a little more soon! i’m very excited to get this up on ao3 in the near future!

💖 if you enjoy my writing and want to commission me, send me a message! my commissions are open! 

💖 keep an eye out for more commissioned pieces coming soon :) 

[coveredinsweetpea]

purest shade of pink. sweet pea.

A/n: ok so this was requested and i was planning on writing a blurb but i got carried away a bit. I hope you like this, and please don’t hesitate to tell me what you thought, please! 

Summary: what could possibly happen when the sweet girl of riverdale sneaks her biker boyfriend inside her room to fuck, while her father is downstairs sleeping? (SMUT)

-

"Why would you even do that?" you questioned, genuinely curious about why someone would ever end up cheating. You spoke with such determination that out of context, it would be hard to tell that this situation did not even affect you personally. It was just another round of gossip between you and the rest  of the River Vixens, pouring out your souls and uncensored judgement into a conversation that had no importance to you whatsoever. But considering how crazy things have been in Riverdale for the past years, if there was anything that even remotely made you feel like a normal high schooler, you were more than ready to jump into it head straight. "She's literally turned him into a door mat" Carla scoffed, taking another puff of her cigarette. The smoke make your nose wrinkle, but you tried to play it off. "Maybe he's into that kind of stuff, who knows?" "Love, I know you're Little Miss Innocence here, but that's a whole different thing" Carla laughed with superiority. "Just because they like that in the bedroom doesn't mean the gotta be like that in real life too" "That's not what I meant" you scoffed, "And you know it. And stop calling me that, please" "Take a puff, then" he taunted, handing you her cigarette, "If you're so badass, I wanna see you inhale that smoke and blow it out your nose" "No" you rolled your eyes, "That would literally prove nothing" "Except that you're a wuss" Carla laughed. "Oh my God" Megan sighed, interrupting the two of you, "No one cares, I just wanna know how I should tell Lori that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Help me" You were happy to drop the argument, Carla not so much. But eventually she did, and you resumed the gossip round. It lasted for about 30 more minutes and you got to no conclusion whatsoever, but when you heard the familiar rumble of a Harley Davidson riding down the street, you knew that was your cue to leave. You stood up, and gathered your stuff hurriedly.

"See you tomorrow, girls" you cheered, picking up you purse, gym bag and already cold coffee cup. "I have no idea how you ended up with that guy, I swear" one of your friends laughed, shaking her head. "Lady in the streets, devil in the sheets" Megan cheered, and all you could do was blush and signal for her to shut up. As you walked away from them and over to where Sweet Pea was parking, you could still hear them yell different kinds of lines after you, but you decided to ignore them. It has never been your thing to give in to any kind of provocation, and you weren't going to start now. As you walked towards him, you picked up your pace until you were actually running. He was leaning against his bike, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. It may have been the loud rumble of all your belongings being shaken up inside your bag as you sprinted down the alley, or it may have been a coincidence, but when you were a few feet away he look up. Upon meeting your excited stare, he opened up his arms wide, welcoming you in a tight and warm hug he knew you loved so much. "Hi, angel" Sweet Pea laughed as you pulled away. He leaned down and kissed your lips, in this case, the taste of cigarettes not bothering you anymore. One hand wrapped around your middle and the other holding onto your cheek, he kissed you sweetly, as other students passing by stood and gawked. You didn't really care. Over time, you got used to them, what amazed you was how they didn't get used to you dating a Serpent. As a straight A student, the second in command after Cheryl in the cheerleading squad and the main singer and the school's band, they simply did not understand what you could possibly see in a rugged looking biker, member of a lawless gang from the wrong side of the tracks. Explaining this to them has never even crossed your mind. It was none of their business and to be fair, even though you'd never admit it, you kind of loved the attention. You hopped onto Sweet Pea's bike, and turned to him confused when he just stood by and looked at you. "Everything ok?" you asked, "Yeah, yeah" he nodded, "But we can't hang out at my house today. My uncle's home and you know how he gets" "Are you ok?" you questioned concerned, grabbing his hand to rub your thumb across his knuckles reassuringly, "Did you two argue again?" "No, love, it's fine" he sighed, leaning in to kiss your forehead, "As long as I'm not around him that much, it's all good" "You'd tell me if things weren't good, right?" "Of course" he smiled, "I swear, everything is fine so far" "Let's go to my house" you suggested, and tapped the spot on the bike where he was supposed to sit. "Your parents are home, don't think they'd-" "I'll keep them distracted while you climb in, relax! They won't see you" "One day they will" Sweet Pea chuckled, shaking his head as he got on the bike, "And I'm not mentally ready for that" "Oh god, babe" you sighed and wrapped your arms around his middle, "Just drive" You couldn't help but smile at how the only man that ever managed to scare Sweet Pea was your dad. To be fair, your dad scared everyone. The way you and your mum looked and acted, fit in no way your dad's way of being. As sweet and loving as he was towards his own family, he was just as threatening and ruthless when if came to anyone that ever dared look at you the wrong way. Although he never actually laid a hand on anyone, when he wanted to, his voice would drop a few octaves, his eyes would darken, and the things that would come out of his mouth were enough to scare anyone away. When he met Sweet Pea for the first time, you were actually scared that by the end of the night you'd be single. He pulled through though, and held his head up, determined to prove to your father just how much he cared about you and how determined he was to make sure you would always be safe. Even if they came to accept each other, the days where your dad would be ok with you and Sweet Pea taking things to a certain level of intimacy were far far away in the future. If Pea came by the house, the door had to be left open and the music had to be off. There was no universe where you'd ever obey that rule, but anyway, you love the adrenaline you always got from sneaking around. When you got home, your dad was fast asleep on the couch so you hurried upstairs and signaled for Sweet Pea to climb inside. By now, it was muscle memory - climb onto the second lower branch, step on left corner of the roof, avoid the third row of tiles because they creaked when you put weight on them, and about a minute later, he was inside your room. Sweet Pea threw his jacket to the floor, black leather falling silently on top of your pinkish carpet. Nothing about him fit with anything in your room, and you loved it. His cologne was musky and cool, your room smelled sweet and flowery. His hair was an adorable mess, while everything around him was tidied up and in perfect order. "I don't understand how you don't lose your mind in here" he laughed, taking in all the childish and innocent decorations of your room. From where you were sitting on your knees on the bed, you lounged for him. "Don't think about it" you laughed, gripping the hem of his flannel and pulling his body towards you. Sweet Pea understood in an instant what was going through your mind, and he met you with a devilish smirk on his lips. "You sure this is safe?" he asked, placing his hands on your hips. Although you didn't even nod in approval, his fingers traveled lower, brushing over the hem of your cheerleading uniform, until he reached the bare skin of your thighs. Your hands snaked around his neck, deepening the kiss. His tongue roamed your mouth with dominance, acting as if he had been deprived of your lips for too long. When his fingers started digging into your skin from the pure need of taking things further, you couldn't help but moan into the kiss. In an instant, he grabbed the elastic of your skirt and pulled it down your legs. You leaned back on the bed allowing him to take it off completely, and enjoyed your view as he stood tall, right by the bed, taking his shirt off. Your mouth watered when you heard the metallic sound of his belt being unbuckled. A few seconds later his pants had pooled at his ankles, leaving him in his boxers only, that did not do too good of a job in hiding the shameless bulge he rocked. "Let's see how wet you are, angel" he smirked, looking at you through the raven locks that had fallen on top of his forehead. You smiled wickedly and parted your legs, his fingers making their way to your cotton underwear in the blink of an eye. He rubbed his thumb over your bundle of nerves, and looked up at you with a lewd smile on his lips. "All for me?" As much as you loved all the foreplay you guys usually did, today was different. For whatever reason, you were in a mood. That mood where you wanted him to make you scream out his name until your throat stung, you wanted to feel him between your legs the next day. You shuffled out of your panties and Sweet Pea lowered himself on top of you, maintaining his weight on his elbows and knees. "Pea, fuck me hard" you whined, all of a sudden weirdly needy for his cock, "Please" "Don't I always?" he grinned, snaking an arm around your neck and fisting your pony tail tight between his fingers. He pulled on it, just enough for it to give that special kind of pain that morphed instantly into pleasure. You arched your back, and moaned his name before biting down on your lower lip. "Shh, now" he hummed and pulled away from you. It was just now that you realized he hadn't even taken his boxers off. "Touch yourself for me" he commanded as he undressed completely and gave his already half way hard cock a few pumps. He watched you brush your middle finger across your clit before seeing it disappear slowly inside your pussy. The sight made his mouth water, and his cock twitch in his hand. Having had enough of this, he lounged at you, pressing his knees into the mattress on either side of your thighs, his cock aligning with your opening at a painfully small distance. He leaned in and kissed you on your lips, sloppily, your teeth clinking in the process before he went ahead to kiss down your neck. Without allowing his lips to break contact with your skin, he pressed the tip of his cock to your clit, before going in slowly. The feeling of his member spreading your walls open made you moan out his name as your wrapped your legs around him, pressing the heels of your feet against the back of his thighs. In the beginning, his pace was slow and his thrusts were passionate and deep, but soon enough, he sped up, sending waves of pleasure across your whole body. "Harder, Pea" you cried into his shoulder. It seemed like he stopped and considered his options for a second. Eventually, he pulled out, and straightened his back. You didn't even get a chance to complain as he grabbed your hips and forcefully spun you around, laying you down on your stomach. You couldn't help but smile to yourself as you waited for him to enter you again, but much to your surprise, his hands grabbed your middle again, pulling you up and against his chest. His fingers wrapped themselves in your hair, tilting your head back. "Think I don't fuck you hard enough?" he questioned directly into your ear. "You do" you nodded eagerly, feeling your pussy clench just at his words. "I do what?" he teased. "Fuck me, please. You fuck me so good, Pea. I need you" you cried, pressing yourself back against him. Even though you did crave his touch, when he pushed your forward and you landed back on your tummy on the bed, you couldn't help but squirm in anticipation. Sweet Pea grabbed your hips and pulled your ass up in the air, on full display for his hungry eyes. With your cheek pressed against your fluffy blanket, you bit down on your lip as you waited patiently. Although you expected him to thrust into you, deep and hard, instead, his right palm connected to your ass in one hard slap, making your skin feel on fire. "Pea!" you moaned loudly, completely forgetting you were not alone in the house. You tried to rub your thighs together to relieve some of the pressure, but he was quick to push your legs apart and bring the tip of his cock to your opening. He pushed himself in, going all the way until his pelvis pressed against your ass. This time his pace was much more aggravated, slamming into your pussy ruthlessly. The only things audible in the room where the low moans that escaped Sweet Pea's throat and the whiny breaths you let out every time he went in. "This good enough for you?" he taunted, bringing a hand under your legs, to apply pressure to your clit. "Yes, daddy" you cried, the words just slipping out of your mouth in the heat of the moment. He kept going, harder and deeper with each thrust, making the whole world shake around you. When your orgasm started building up, you felt his hand back in your hair as he forced you up again. He maintained your head tilted back against his shoulder as he pounded your pussy, his other arm snaked around your abdomen keeping you in place. "Fuck, fuck, keep going, keep going" you moaned. "That's my good girl" Sweet Pea laughed, sinking his teeth in the skin of your neck. Ready to let yourself go completely, your whole mood was perturbed when a familiar voice reached your ears. "Y/n?" you heard you dad call from the other side of your bedroom door. Your blood froze for a second, but Sweet Pea kept going. "Answer him!" he commanded. Clearing your throat to make sure you sounded at least somewhat normal, you took a deep breath. "Yeah, dad?" As you waited for a response, Pea kept rubbing your clit in circular motion, sucking on the skin of your neck as his thrusts became much more slower, but just as deep, all of these together enough to bring tears of pleasure into your eyes. "What are you doing, pumpkin? Can I come in?" "No!" you hurried to stop him. "No, no, um.. don't come in" "Are you ok?" he asked and you could hear concern in his voice. "Yeah, baby girl" Pea chuckled into your ear, bringing a hand to your right breast, gripping it tightly between his fingers, "Are you ok?" You squinted your eyes, "I'm uh... I'm shaving my legs!" "Oh" your dad exclaimed, "Ok, I'll leave you to it. I'm making pancakes and wanted to ask how many you want" "I want 5" Sweet Pea whispered. "7" you yelled, your mind beyond confused. Pea kept pushing all your buttons to the extreme and you were about to lose it all if your dad didn't leave already. "Seven?" he exclaimed, "You want 7? You bit your lip annoyed, Pea pulling on your hair again to bring you back to your senses, "Yes, 7!" "Ok, hurry" your dad said and then left. It was just now that you were able to breathe properly, but it didn't last too long as Sweet Pea grabbed your chin and made you turn your head so you could meet his dark, hooded eyes, "Think I didn't feel your pussy clench around my dick when he almost caught us?" Your cheeks turned a bright shake of red, and you were not able to come up with any decent response. "Is that what turns you on, hm?" he questioned, "being afraid someone is gonna catch us?" You didn't get to answer as he pushed you back down on the bed, lowering himself on top of you. He pressed his cock back inside you, fucking you from behind at an ungodly slow pace, "Imma keep that in mind, angel." he mumbled to himself, "Oh, the possibilities" His words and the mental imagines they created brought a wicked smile to your lips as you pushed your ass up against him. "Such a slut, aren't you" he chuckled into your ear as he sunk himself inside of you. You nodded in approval, muttering a weak, "I am"

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

I think i have another request. Well i do i mean lol. It may be a little dark but the idea just came to me... y/n spending Christmas break with the Weasleys (because she is best friends with Ron or the twins?) at burrow because her family are not that pleasant to be around and treat her poorly.. y/n is self harming and no one knows til one day fred (her crush )finds out somehow some way and consoles her and they end up confessing their true feelings for each other?

I just want to say: if anyone needs to talk to someone I'm here. But if you want some sort of therapy or anything there is a app where you can talk it out called 7cupsoftea.

Suicide hotline:800-273-8255

text hotline: 741741

Love you all. You are loved, please know that.

Trigger warning: self harm, abuse

You spent a lot of time in the background. No one seemed to take notice of you, no one seemed to really notice if you were sick or not. Well. Except for Ginny. Ginny saw you. She actually noticed you and asked Fred and George, who were in your year to keep an eye out. She noticed you, talking to you from time to time and noticing you needed more friends. So who better than to go to than the boys who literally knows everyone including the portraits on the walls.

You seemed jumpy, always nearly dropping things when they appeared. But you appreciated the boys, checking on you and talking to you. George had a surprising lack of classes with you though compared to Fred. After a few... Pranks/possible murder plots? The teachers put Fred and George in only two classes together. So Fred had his with you, always sitting next to you and making sure you were good. He didn't really catch on to anything wrong. He just noticed the long sleeves and figured "so she's cold all the time". Ginny and Luna knew this wasn't the case though. They knew you, truly so. You hid the marks from your brothers and the self inflicted scars. You bared so much and they hated to see you tear yourself apart.

Ginny would always change the subject when your family came up in the great hall, Fred and George always being confused to why that happened. Fred was closer with you than George and knew something was up but didn't understand the extent of it. George could see his brother begin to slowly fall for you, him whispering funny little jokes to you making you smile or laugh. However the thing that everyone seemed to notice was the lack of light in your eyes when you showed positive emotion. You would smile, sure. But your eyes seemed dull and tired.

Fred would sometimes skip class with you, sitting under a tree and talk to you about life in general with his head in your lap. Today was one of those days, it being particularly colder but Fred was warm so you didn't mind. "Hey Y/n... What do you think about spending Christmas with us this year?" He asked. You blinked a couple of times. "Are you sure you have the room? I mean... Your family is massive Freddie." You asked. "We always have room. Plus don't you wanna spend the holidays with your fwiends?" He asked, playfully poking your cheek. You chuckled. "Okay... I'll let my parents know."

You felt a slight relief being able to leave hogwarts and it not being associated with going to your parents house. Molly greeted you with a hug and you seemed shocked to receive affection like that right off the bat. Fred noticed though, when Molly's hands slid from your shoulders to your hands you seemed to flinch ever so slightly at the touch. No one else seemed to notice so Fred kept it to himself. Ginny kept close to you, showing you things all throughout the house. Fred however soon whisked you off with George to go off and see the cooler things. The fields, the places they had to just sit and talk or the test area for a few of their pranking devices.

At night it seemed peaceful. But you had these terrible nightmares where you woke up sobbing and Ginny was always there, comforting you when you did. However tonight was just a silent wake up. Still, you didn't want to sleep in case you woke up again but louder. Ginny was still awake and she looked over. "You okay?" She asked. "Do you mind if I step out for a bit? Just need some fresh air." You asked. "Go ahead." She nodded. So you walked out, letting the cold air hit your face as you sat on the back steps of the house. You pulled back your sleeves and saw the scars, closing your eyes.

Six months clean... Yet the reminders were still there. You pulled them back down and sighed before you noticed someone sit down next to you. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" Fred asked, handing you a mug of hot cocoa. "....Do you ever just want to scream for hours to get out your emotions and be free of the weight on your chest?" You asked before taking a long sip of the cocoa. "...Not really. But we can literally just scream in a field out here if you really want?" Fred suggested.

That's exactly what you did, making sure that no one could hear you before you kicked a fence post and Fred rose a brow. "Any particular reason why you're upset?" He asked. You kept kicking it, harder and harder as you went. "Does trauma count as a reliable fucking answer?" You grunted before really kicking it hard. You were panting by the time you were done. "Y/n... Princess, what's up?" He asked. You shook your head. "I want to be happy, I should be happy. I am surrounded by people who care but I can't stop thinking about my God damn--" you kicked the post again. "Family!" You yelled. The pained expression on your face made Fred concerned. "Do you want to go home--" "That place will never be home." You said, catching your breath again. "Y/n... What's going on, what do you need?" He asked. You shook your head, your hair hiding your face so Fred couldn't see the tears, the angry tears falling. You kicked the post again, Fred finally pulling you back by your wrist making you yelp. He frowned and you looked into his eyes with this upset look. "Help me." You whimpered. He said nothing, letting go of your wrist and pulling you into a tight hug.

You told him everything. The abuse, the nightmares the inability to sleep, the crying, all of it. But you also told him you stopped hurting yourself because of Ginny and him. You stopped because you didn't want your friends to lose you in their lives because you grew attached and you didn't want to be a cause of sadness. Fred brought you back to the living room, both of you sitting on the couch and talking all night.

When Molly found you, you were asleep on Fred who was holding you close. She didn't wake you until much later but Fred was determined to have you stay at the burrow rather than go home. Christmas rolled around and Fred got you this necklace. It had a Demiguise engraved on it after he remembered you saying it was your favorite magical creature. You loved it and for the first time your friends saw you genuinely smile. Like your eyes lit up and everything. You got Fred a new broom, him smiling like crazy telling you that one day he was teaching you how to fly with him.

Ginny noticed the nightmares take a slow down. But when they did happen you asked for Fred and sure enough, he'd come in and lay with you. You two were closer, that was becoming very clear. Nights would come where you couldn't sleep, Ginny would tell him and you two would just play a card game and talk. He listened to you, giving you genuine advice before cracking a joke and making you genuinely laugh.

When you went back to school you were more talkative, you actually participated in events, Fred was proud of seeing you slowly come out of your shell. A day of skipping did come along, you sitting underneath the tree and playing with Fred's hair. "So... How are you... With everything?" He asked. "Almost a year clean." You said with a smile. He smiled, looking up at you from your lap and put a hand on your cheek. "I'm proud of you Y/n... Truly." He said. You looked down at him and smiled noticing a strange tension looking at him. "...Y/n..." He breathed looking at you. You swallowed and looked up, a blush slowly forming. Fred leaned up and cleared his throat. "Sooo. What's our next class?" Fred asked. "This was our last class of the day." You said with a chuckle. "Ohhh.. I really gotta start paying attention." He said making you laugh. "Dinner is going to start in a few minutes, want to go?" Fred asked you. "Mmm.. I don't think so. I wanna see the sunset on the lake." You said. Fred sat cross-legged in front of you. "Then I will too." He said. "Wha-- Fred what about--" "I want to stay here." He said simply.

You pulled a deck of cards out of your binder and he chuckled. "Go fish or Rummy?" You asked. "Hmmm. Let's go simple today and say go fish." He said. You two played two rounds before you looked over at the sunset. "That's so pretty." You said with a smile. Fred smiled looking at you. "It really is." He said as the pink skies seemed to bring out your eyes. You looked over and Fred swallowed. You loved this boy... Didn't you?

He felt himself lean forward and you soon felt his lips on yours before you cradled his cheek, pulling away for air and resting your forehead on his. "I-I'm sorry I just reacted and--" "Fred... Please tell me you're going to do that again." You whispered. He chuckled and held your hand that was still on his cheek. "Only if you want me to." He said softly. You nodded with a smile and he kissed you again, feeling his arms slowly slink around you, pulling you almost into his lap.

"Promise you'll never leave me?" You asked. "Never would dream of it Princess."

[discotenny]

!Bungo Stray Brothers!

Ranpo and Poe with a little sister

!requested by @maibeff!

This is long overdue sorry djfjdk. I accidentally posted this last night oopsie >.> trying something new w the banners

Okay so I know that everyone says Ranpo would be a really lazy brother, and he still is don’t get me wrong, butttt Ranpo would be a top-notch sibling

During the time of your parents’ deaths, you were barely a teenager. At the prior advice of your late parents, he dragged you to Yokohama, where the two of you now reside. Through the years, Ranpo filled the void left by your parents, guiding and teaching you as they once did. Well, trying his best to do so anyways

Despite his attitude aimed at many, Ranpo is quite caring towards you. He’s constantly checking up on your wellbeing, whether through texts or casual conversation. Sometimes, he’ll even do that thing where a person messes up someone's hair with their hand in passing

While not as athletic as his coworkers, Ranpo can still put up some of a fight. Thus, he will absolutely try to fight anyone that attempts to mess with his dear sister

He thinks the world of you, and you’re one of the few people he’ll give some of his oh so coveted praise to

Your relationship with Fukuzawa is very friendly. While he’s a father figure to Ranpo, he’s more of a grandfather character to you since you don’t see him as much

Ranpo insists you visit the ADA offices often, and so you also have friendly relations with the rest of the members. Though Ranpo warns you not to get deeply involved with Dazai for some reason 🤔

With any romantic partner you have, he wants to have a one on one talk with them to discern if they’re a good enough person for you. Though an issue he has is that he judges everyone to his standards, and his standards are high

Household chores are a big no-no when it comes to Ranpo, and often you’ll be forced to literally lay the vacuum on him if you want him to do shit

Your fridge is always empty due to both you and Ranpo’s negligence when it comes to grocery shopping. It becomes a daily occurrence for you two to text each other back and forth begging for the other to purchase some groceries on their way home

Y/n: Ranpoooo can you pls pick up some eggs after work? We also need [insert shopping list of items]

Five minutes later...

Ranpo: Hey y/n can you pick up [insert a screenshot of the shopping list from your message] on your way home

When the time comes for you to move out, Ranpo tries his best not to cry as he hugs you before you go. Being the only family he has left in the world, your departure affects him a lot. Afterward, Ranpo ends up learning how to manage the trains by himself just so he can visit you all by himself ~

A sibling who’s a student [around a high schooler, so let’s say 18]

He’s always making comments on your homework being ‘too easy,’ and will sometimes do some problems on your worksheets out of pure boredom

Ranpo would absolutely help you cheat with assignments

For a small fee of course... that fee coming in the form of snacks

As Ranpo serves as your legal guardian, he’s the one that has to sign all your school papers. Most of the time he leaves you stressed, messed, and upset as he always lets forms go unsigned until the very last minute

Despite being a student, you still end up cooking for the two of you most of the time

If you go to the convenience store after your school day, Ranpo always texts you. One, to check up on you. And two, to make sure you buy him a bag candy

When you don’t walk straight home from school, chances are you head your way towards the detective agency. When you do so, Ranpo is calling you over to his desk and tells you do work on your homework beside him. Even if you don’t have homework Ranpo will still tell you to sit at his desk just so he can keep some eye on you

When the ADA closes up for the day, you two end up eating out at a cafe somewhere. No exceptions, this happens every time

If it weren’t for his height, most would assume that Poe was the younger of you two

If anyone were to attempt to hurt this babby, you’d likely be the one sticking up for him. He felt awful and weak during any kind of occurrence like this, and often would hideaway for a bit after

While he’s not particularly strong, Poe is an amazing listener and will hear you out with any struggles you have at the moment. He would even tell Karl to curl up in your lap, a small sign of his trust towards you

In turn, when he becomes upset over his loss to Ranpo, you’re there right by his side after to cheer him up. Even when he shuts off all personal connections after his crushing defeat, you still check up on him to make sure he hasn’t withered away  

You’re his biggest supporter and vise versa

Poe is r i c h. If your family didn’t come from wealth before, you bet your ass that he shares his coin with you. Though, you feel a bit bad for accepting the large amounts of money he sends you. But, your brother persists that its just pay back for all of your support

When Poe got Karl at the age of 10 [let’s just say he got him at 10 because raccoons live up to an average of 20 years domesticated], he would do everything in his power to make sure the two of you got along. Eventually, you warmed up to his new pet and Poe couldn’t be happier

Growing up, you were always by his side. Seeing as he’s quite sensitive and timid, you would cling to him in order to watch out for any possible detriments to your brother’s happiness. Sticking to his side most of your childhood, you grew a fondness for all the stories he would write

When he first discovered his ability, you and Poe would spend hours exploring the world of different books. While he may have not been into the kind of books you would read as a youngling, everything was worth it if he got to see you smile

You two would also have sleepovers in his room. Dragging a blanket and pillow to his door, you’d ask if you would be allowed to sleep in his bedroom for the night. Despite it surprising him each time, Poe would never deny your request 

With blankets, Karl, and pillows strewn around the room, Poe would excuse himself to the kitchen to make the two of your some tea. You’d almost always fall asleep next to your brother as he drafted new stories

When Poe gets involved with The Guild, the first thing you worry about his his safety. Then he gets upset at the fact that he’s worried you and ends up calling you, frantically apologizing and hoping you won’t dislike him. The last thing he wants in life is your disapproval ;-;

While you hold no issue with The Guild’s ‘activities’ [more so you don’t know about their crimes], you make your brother promise you that he’d be careful

On his leave to Japan and subsequent announcement that he’d stay there indefinitely, you’re already making plans to visit him one day

His sister comes to Japan

Your visit is a surprise, even if you have been messaging him about it for weeks

Y/n: Edgar! I’m leaving for Japan tomorrow morning so I’m going to have to sleep early tonight. 

Poe spits out his tea

Edgar: Yourecomingtojapanwhat? 

Of course, he picks you up, what kind of brother would he be if he didn’t?

Seeing you at the airport, Poe can’t contain his smile. While you two don’t hug, Poe is ecstatic to see you and can’t wait to show you around. Karl is in the car and he immediately jumps onto you when you come in

When he introduces you to Ranpo, you can’t help but hold a little grudge. Cmon, this was the man that caused your dear brother to become a recluse for years! Though Poe sees your hesitation and encourages you that all blood is fine between the two. After seeing how happy your brother becomes at Ranpo’s company, you admit that he isn’t awful

Your time in Japan is spent talking with Poe and Ranpo most of the time. While it’s mostly chilling in the detective agency, your brother’s friend ends up dragging the two of you around to different cafe’s 

Once, Ranpo asked if you knew of the chaos that The Guild caused in Japan. It’s the one time he’s ever seen and heard Poe so panicked as he screamed ‘I wasn’t involved’

Wouldn’t it be funny if you and Ranpo fell into a relationship

Hrjdksks apologies these are too long ;-; I liked writing these so there may be a bit of incoherence throughout... Also I haven’t posted in a week oops. Thank you for your kind words Mai ! All the love in the world for you 💕

I hope you enjoyed anyways, and apologies for any future disappointment

[atmilliways]

Toki and Pickles, 2, 6, or 9? Any or none, whichever speaks to you. :)

[2+ characters and a number meme]

2, Kissing. 6, Comforting one another. 9, In bed/non-sexually sleeping together.

YOU GOT IT, ALL THREE. 1277 words, lol. Implied Charles/Pickles, sad because it’s set between Black Fire Upon Us and Renovationklok, Pickles is having a bad night and Toki just happens to walk in on it and try to comfort him, and some smooching happens. 

You Know What Admitting Sadness Means

.

Both of these men are competing starfish. They’ve known this for years, since the early days of getting stuck with each other as hotel roommates when on tours, before they had enough money for the big fancy bus with separate rooms, or even hotel rooms that had two double beds instead of just one. Back in those days, Toki’s hair had still been short and he’d always, always slept with a shirt on, even in fucking Florida in the summer. During the other three seasons Pickles, who tended to drink until he felt warm, strip down to his tighty whities, and half-wake up at some point in the night freezing his nuts off, had always appreciated the guy’s ability to throw body heat like a goddamned furnace. 

He had actually told him that once, and Toki had replied cheerfully that yes, he knew that, because his soul was already destined to roast over the spitfires of hell for an eternity of torment and pain for not following the rules laid down by a god that did not forget and did not forgive. Pickles had needed to take a few extra illicit substances that night just to get to sleep and forget the hauntingly empty look in his eyes while he’d said it.

These days, Toki’s hair is long and he doesn’t give two shits who sees his scars anymore. Pickles will automatically wake at the sound of retching out of decades of ingrained habit, unless he’s seriously passed out, but otherwise they’re both deep sleepers and don’t much care who flops on who in the night (or day, whenever, time is fake). And they don’t have to share a bed, but sometimes they do because Toki still gets nightmares. 

But since Charles died, things have been different. Everyone is withdrawn, shaken . . . and so freaked out by the Revengencer attack that they’ve literally strapped rockets to the bottom of their house and launched it into the sky for security purposes. Toki keeps his nightmares to himself because there’s already enough shit going around, he doesn’t want to add to it. 

Except, one night he can’t sleep. The pickled herring he ate earlier isn’t sitting right in his stomach and makes the thought of drinking unappealing. . . . Maybe Pickles will have something he can smoke or snort that will do the trick. He puts on his boots (Mordhaus is a constant construction zone these days, he’s learned not to run around barefoot the hard way) and clomps down the hallway in his pajama pants. 

“Pickle?” Toki stops himself just short of knocking, because knocking politely isn’t particularly metal. Instead, he nudges at it with the toe of one boot. The door creaks open a bit, so he pushes it farther and steps in. 

The room is a mess. Not that it’s spotlessly clean even at the best of times, but with all the repairs their servants are stretched pretty thin and it doesn’t look like anyone’s come to collect the recyclables in a while. It reeks of spilled beer and spirits, stale smoke, and unwashed sheets—but all that is metal, so it’s probably fine. 

What isn’t fine is Pickles, who’s clutching his pillow to his chest instead of laying on it and thrashing sluggishly under just a thin blanket, obviously trapped in a nightmare of his own. Before he can decide what to do Toki steps on a can, and the crunch of aluminum sends Pickles shooting bolt upright with a strangled yell. 

“Sorries!” Toki yelps automatically, holding up both hands. “Sorries, Pickle, ams just Toki!”

Pickles stares at him, wide-eyed and panting, then blinks hard until some of the wild, sleep-glazed look fades from his eyes. “Toki?” he asks hoarsely, and coughs. 

“Sorries, I couldn’t sleeps and I thoughts maybe Pickle will had somesthing whats maybe helps, ands the door—”

“Toki,” Pickles interrupts. To Toki’s surprise, it looks like his eyes are already red-rimmed, not in (just) a super fucked up way but like he’s been crying. His eyes are even starting to well over. Pickles takes a deep breath, and the rest comes tumbling out in a thin, scratchy wail: “Toki, I couldn’t save ‘im an’ he died an’ he, I couldn’t—H-he’s just dead, he’s dead an’ it’s all my fault!”

Fuck not caring about each other by band agreement. Toki is at his side in a second and pulls the smaller man into a tight hug, a cold lump of metal pressed between their bare chests as though Pickles is wearing some sort of necklace with a pendant on it. Tears form in his own eyes because he knows exactly what Pickles means. Toki hasn't dreamed about Charles, but they’re all feeling the guilt these days. For not appreciating him enough when he was still alive. For not getting there in time to save him. Hell, even if Toki had gotten there earlier he still would’ve been too loaded to be of any use, Nathan would’ve had to do it all alone. . . .

“Ams not your faults, Pickle.” Toki tries to reassure, but at the same time this feels like what he’s witnessing might go deeper than simple guilt. Pickles is shaking, pressing streaming eyes against Toki’s shoulder and bawling into his chest. This is something far more raw and brutal, devoid of any of the trappings of pretending not to care. Right now Pickles clearly doesn’t give a shit about one anyone thinks. 

“He’s gone, he’s goooooooooone!”

“Theres there,” Toki mumbles, rubbing his back awkwardly—a tiny gesture in the face of a giant tsunami of grief. 

He holds him until the sobs die down, until Pickles moves to unexpectedly return the embrace. 

“Feck. Toki, I’m . . . I’m real fecked up ri’now, c’you jest—”

“I won’t tell no ones,” Toki assures him quickly. 

At the same time as Pickles says, “—kiss me?” The drummer pulls back just enough so they can make eye contact. “Please, jest, close yer eyes and lemme pretend it’s him, jest one last time. . . .”

“Whats,” Toki starts to ask. He’s interrupted by lips crashing into his, facial hair scratching and tickling around his mouth. 

Pickles kisses him with longing and passion and urgent desperation the likes of which Toki has never experienced before, not even close. The swamping wave tumbles him head over heels, making it difficult to tell up from down, waking him up in ways he hadn’t even realized he’d been tired; the kiss tastes like booze and snot and sleep-breath and dispair. And maybe . . . maybe it is their manager Pickles wants to be kissing, for whatever reason, but Charles isn’t here. God, fuck, Charles isn’t here. It’s just Toki, and Toki wants to comfort his friend (and maybe even be comforted in return, even if his own feelings don’t run quite as deep). 

They spend the rest of the night together in Pickles’ bed. Sometimes Pickles dozes off, then wakes crying again. Sometimes they end up making out like their lives depend on it, and sometimes it’s slow and soft and so tender that Toki’s heart aches. But eventually Pickles drifts off and stays there, breathing slow and even against the crook of Toki’s neck; he’s finally gone past the dreams to the other side and is actually getting some rest. 

Toki has so many thoughts about everything that’s just happened that he doesn’t expect to fall asleep himself, but eventually he does. 

Both of these men are starfish, but tonight it’s less competition and more collaboration. Pickles lays sprawled on top and Toki stretches out beneath him, one arm looped protectively around his friend. Between the two of them, they manage to take up the entire bed. 

Even the empty side.

[thedumbguywithaheart43]

Boomlords weird adventure

chapter 16 before

The next week or so went by rather quickly. Princess bubblegum started construction on a machine. Really it just looks like a fancy chair hooked up to a whole bunch of different wires and and tubing. Boom knew that a lot of science and magic went into making this as he's not quite sure if princess bubblegum or Twilight had gotten any sleep since they had begun. In fact it was safe to say that their mental state was quite fragile at this point as both of them had messy unkept hair and were covered in Grease and oil. At this point boom was worried about her mental state along with the rest of the girls. He walked over to the hard working Twilight."ok Twilight me and the girls have been talking and I think you need to go to bed."twilight ignored him continuing to work on some coding witch she picked up from princess bubblegum fairly quickly.boom picked up a Giggle from behind him the unmistakable sound of pinkie pie and rainbow Dash who were spying on his attempt to get the princesses to rest. "Okay Twilight either you're going to go to bed of your own free will or I'm going to pick you up and carry you!"his voice was serious filled with a tinge of anger but also concern for the now barely standing unicorn person."yeah yeah I'll do whatever when I'm done here."she completely ignored him. Boomlord shrugged before he grabed Twilight lifting her in the classic princess way. Right before he receives several punches to the face from Twilights protesting wails."Twilight your punches feel like a gentle jab to me."twi pouted at him."just let me finish my work!"He glared at her."let me make something very clear to you no one wants this machine done any more than I do but if you keep working like this you are going to kill yourself!Or at least cause some serious mental stain."boom scorned at her. Boom felt the chuckling increase as more of the girls and even a few banana guards.His cheeks got redder hearing this. The last few days had been pretty good between everyone even Applejack the one who trusted him the least have been unusually friendly to him for the last couple days since he had returned from the ice kingdom. The girls chatted with him more and even joined in conversations while waiting on construction, it had been admittedly strange to him as before they were far more aggressive with the exception of Spike and pinkie pie. But it now occurred to him that it was likely because rainbow Dash had spread some sort of rumor that he liked Twilight......witch was so fucking obvious. He narrowed his brow at the doorway knowing that they were getting a kick out of this. Despite this he was at least thankful that they were giving him a chance if for no other reason then it seemed they believe Twilight might like him back, a notion that he put to the side, believing it to be false.'damn she's cute when she pouts' the continuous pouting and light hits from Twilight broke his concentration of the commotion from the doorway. He made his way through the door carrying Twilight the sound of multiple people scrambling away in a hurry fill the quiet room. Princess bubblegum took notice of him leaving and was likely going to protest saying that she'd likely needed her for something but she never got the chance as Marceline came in and snatched her up in a giant bat monster grasp and flying her out the window towards the one of the towers likely being her room.

2 boom traversed the spindling staircases and surprisingly large amount of hallways within the castle. Boom believed it was a Wonder that the banana guards could ever navigate the absurd amount of turns it took to get around still they were literally made for this place so it wasn't too hard to believe. Boom eventually found his way to twilight's room it was a simple guest room comfy marshmallow bed, licorice lamp and ,other assorted candy furniture. He walked over to the bed gently placing the sleep deprived egghead onto the bed."please go to sleep Twilight I do not feel like having you pass out on me."Twilight stared up at boom grasping his arm when he tried to let go."nooooo don't gooo."her demeanor had completely changed to more like a rather adorable drunk at this point."sllllleep with me yoooouuuu don't get enough sleep either."boom face flash red again as the words hit his ears."Twilight please just go to bed I need to go."he attempted to pull his arm away from Twilight but only found she had a bit more strength to her than he would have initially thought as she pulled him down on top of her. It wasn't exactly the most subtle of positions he could have been in as he looked her right in the eyes.' oh shit this is close what do I do I..... Her eyes there like stars' He found himself gazing into her eyes for what felt like forever and she gazed back. There were no words no sound only blissful silence as they shared a moment of peace with each other. Boom wasn't exactly sure what brought him to this moment all he knew is that right now he didn't want to be anywhere else."you have a nice smile."Twilight said sounding almost like a drunk once more. And he was smiling he hadn't realized it but being around her it was a feeling he had grown to enjoy."I like your smell better it's always so honest."the words left him before he could stop them. Twilight's face had redden even more before sitting up right sobering up for a minute."is this weird what we're doing right now because I kind of like it?"Twi asked in a shy tone. Boom looked out the window before looking back at Twilight a smile still plastered on his face."Twilight I don't know if this is weird or if this makes sense I stoped making sense of things a long time ago things in my life don't happen easily."he took a big gulp of air trying to get most of the words he wanted to say out of him."and I've been through a lot I've seen things that would drive men insane and I've lost more than I think anyone will ever know the only thing that kept me sane was... My ex but even that went to shit since then I've been in a spiraling whirlpool of bullcrap and horror. But then I met you and I don't know why but you make me feel different than other people, even her... I can be real with you not a act or a joke or some other front I put up. I don't know why it is I feel this way about you and I kind of like that I don't know I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you "boom sighed."I like you a lot like a lot a lot like enough where this conversation is starting to make me feel nervous a lot."there was another very long silence the rest of them only felt very long but this one it could have lasted an hour before Twilight smiled."I love you too you big dork."before he could respond she planted a big fat kiss right on his lips.... Right before immediately passing the fuck out. Boom smiled again moving to rest next to her as he peered into the night sky of ooo."I love you too."he rested his head next to hers wrapping his arms around her never wanting to let go."not sure how I fell for a horse but I guess I'm all about being weird heh."he whisper to himself before falling asleep. And for the first time in a long time boom found himself with a gentle dream simply hundreds of stars passing his vision.

3 the next morning) Twilight awoke slowly her eyes heavy as the midday Sun lit up her room the golden cake walls being her first sight. She gave out a gentle yawn before getting up.... Except she couldn't she couldn't move and then she looked to her side and saw the sleeping form of Boom. And that's when she remembered what had occurred last night.' HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT DO I DO' her thoughts were in a panic as she had no idea what she was going to tell her friends much less the princesses when she finally returned home about this, specifically her newfound love for the crazy guy who broke into the castle and probably knocked out several guards to escape from his cell..... Yeah this did not look good for her at all. 'okay Twilight just calm down just tell him it was all a dream or something.... Oh who am I kidding I can't lie about that not to him!'Twilight felt sweat form on her brow unsure of what to do. Boom then suddenly pulled her closer fully embracing her in his sleep. Twilight felt herself calm down before her mind did and she simply melted in his arms it was like being hugged by a golden cloud of peanut butter.... Then she noticed he was actually glowing a slight ting of gold and his hair had darken from a blonde to Black his hair on top of that had straighten out not quite fully brushed but far neater than it had been. Then he woke slowly opening his eyes as the golden hue faded but everything else had remained the same."morning sunshine thanks for dragging me to bed.~"he teased in a flirty tone. This of course caused twilight's face to redden once more."s-shut up."boom released his tight grip over her and sat up. His gaze was now away from her."so uh how much of last night do you actually remember."Boom asked"everything boom I remember what you said and what I said and what I did and I don't regret anything I said last night."Twilight looked up waiting for his response."yeah same even if I sound like a complete and total dork."Twilight giggles before leaning and giving him a kiss on the forehead."yes you're a dork but you're still my dork."boom smiled."now that's not fair that's supposed to be my line."the two joked before embracing each other with a kiss again this one lasting a solid few minutes. Boom broke it first."so what are we going to tell the others?"Twilight blinked rapidly."holy shit what am I going to tell Spike?"Twilight blurted out.

[itsomgitsgreenblogging]

Little Ceremonies: A Critical Role Fanfic

So I have a lot of feelings about Beau, and she has feelings too that she needs to work through. Honestly this fic just came from my desire to shake this girl and force her to talk about her issues with SOMEONE, literally anyone would do.

Alright BeauYashter fans who love a dash of hurt/comfort/angst/pining, come get your juice. Enjoy!

Read on AO3

Preview:

Before Beau almost fucking died she realized she didn't know what TJ's favorite color was. 

They had gotten attacked by some asshole bandits, which wouldn’t have been too big a deal if they also hadn’t had some wolves with them too. One of them was buddy buddy with animals Beau guessed. Things were going rough anyways, and Beau almost wasn’t surprised when she was full-body slammed by an orc and smashed her head on something hard. Another hit and she was out. So long, farewell, no one home, lights completely off unconscious. It sort of sucked, but it wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before. This time felt different for some stupid reason having to do with her brother. 

It was a stupid fucking last thought before she went unconscious, but you can't help what springs to your mind in your last moments of consciousness. And that was it. She saw TJ's face in her mind as she came crashing down, as her vision wobbled and went grey at the edges like she was tripping balls again or it was being eaten in a haze of ash. She realized she didn't know TJ's favorite color. And then there was nothing for a long moment. It wasn't unlike falling asleep in the way that there was nothing. Most nights Beau was so exhausted that she didn’t have time for dreams. (The other times she dreamed of impossible things she could never admit but wanted so bad she wished she could break open her own skull to inspect and commit them to memory. But she wouldn’t admit those ever.)

And then, just as quickly, she was jolted away from the depths of her sleep. Divine light pierced the darkness that had settled quiet and peaceful over her like the waves from the ocean lapping at her toes. She saved me, Beau thought literally breathless, she-

"Beau!" Fjord gasped. Beau desperately tried not to give in to her disappointment. And then immediately she resisted the urge to slap herself because no, she shouldn’t be thinking it. It wasn’t any of those things and she shouldn’t be thinking that way. 

“Oh Beau!” Jester cried as she rushed over. Her hands were first-snow cold against Beau’s suddenly feverish skin as Fjord helped to settle Beau more firmly against Jester. “Oh I’m so sorry, I don’t have...I only have Healing Word prepared and…!” 

Beau felt another jolt of the divine spread through her at the brush of her fingers that fluttered like snowflakes. They felt good...Jester felt good. She was soft and even though she was washed with rain water and gore, somehow, her arms felt safe. Beau wanted to feel more. She wanted to sag against Jester, to melt into her arms and never leave-

“It’s okay,” Beau managed to croak, her ribs still didn’t feel great by any means. It was more like when Dairon had first knocked the shit out of her with her staff. But she was feeling far less...almost dead so it was a marked improvement at any rate. She could just file this away into the same place that she had put all her recent horrible traumatic encounters and everything would be fine. “Just...it’s alright, Jessie. I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay, you look like shit!” Jester said, sounding half angry and half breathlessly relieved. It just made everything hurt even more somehow, though Beau didn’t know how that was fucking possible because she felt like complete shit. 

“Sorry, I’m fresh out of healing,” Caduceus apologized, hauling a ghostly pale looking Caleb with both Yasha and Nott’s help. Caleb swayed in their arms, looking like a bloodless ghost that haunted the halls in a shitty novel that Jester might read them all. Beau hoped she didn’t look as bad as Caleb, though she didn’t have much hope. 

“I’ll be alright,” Beau promised, gritting her teeth and forcing her legs up. Pain was a constant bedfellow. Usually she liked pain, it helped her feel alive and grounded, but this was a pain that was ripping deeper within her at places that she was refusing to face. Not now, Beau ordered herself. You can fall apart later. Not now-!

“Beau no-”

“I’ve got it!” Beau snapped at Jester, desperate to get out of her grasp. She was crawling out of her fucking skin. Jester flinched, and Beau felt her blood curdling in her veins because why? Why had she done this? Why couldn’t she just be good to those she loved instead of ruining it every time? 

“Okay,” Jester said, quickly rearranging her face so that the hurt dwelled somewhere deep where Beau couldn’t see it any more. It made Beau want to grab something with her hands and rip it apart right there and then. 

“There should be the inn a mile or two away,” Fjord said, voice even and as always the steady captain in the storm as he referred to the map. Lining up the troops, focusing them on an achievable goal. Beau could have hugged him for this gentle understanding. 

“I can help you into the cart,” Yasha offered both Caleb and Beau, her eyes dark and drawn with worry. 

“Ja, please,” Caleb asked, as Yasha better arranged him on her arm with Veth’s help. Veth kept glancing at Beau and Beau wanted to scream at her to knock it off. It wouldn’t change anything, none of this would, and in fact it was only making it worse. But Beau had always considered herself to be the worst kind of coward, so instead of saying all of that she set her jaw.  

“I’m fine,” Beau said gruffly to everyone, no one, and herself, gripping her side. “I’ll be fine.” 

As they walked along, Beau could feel Veth’s gaze digging into her skin. She pointedly ignored it. 

“I’m sorry,” Fjord murmured to Beau as they walked. He reached an arm around her to steady her, and rubbed her shoulder comfortingly as he did. Beau half wanted to punch him, and half wanted to turn her head into his shoulder and cry. 

“Why are you sorry?” Beau snapped though it felt half-hearted. She had always had a hard time arguing with Fjord, and even as wounded and skittish as she was feeling she couldn’t muster real anger at him.  

“You know why,” Fjord said as he continued to look forward and help her without saying anything. 

Beau knew why, but it didn’t make it any easier. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

They had found the inn and with little ceremony they had separated out to their rooms for the night. It was the usual arrangement, but Beau felt anything but normal. 

She was thinking about TJ again, thinking about her feelings that were all over the place, thinking about the stupid pain in her side that refused to just dim enough for her to sleep. Eventually all of those things had curled together until any outside stimulus had her startled half out of her skin. 

Jester’s voice was quiet in the darkness of their room. It stabbed into Beau like that shitty dagger the bandit had stuck into her not so many hours prior. Beau was wide awake now, curled into her side. Her breath was drawn so tightly that she was afraid that something inside of her would snap. And maybe it should. Maybe things would be better if they did. Maybe she wouldn’t have to deal with Fjord’s quiet concern and Cad’s long looks, and the quick glancing gazes that Veth peppered against her skin like freezing rain. It was because everyone knew the secrets that Beau was so terrible at keeping...everyone except the girl who could miss that point but tell she wasn’t asleep from the irregularities of her breath in a dark room. It would be hilarious, if it wasn’t so fucking tragic. 

“ ‘m not mad,” Beau said, hoping her voice sounded sleepy and that was enough to discourage this conversation. Beau could hear Jester shifting again in the darkness, and new that hope was a dream to be dashed on the rocks with the coming tide. 

“If I did something wrong…” 

“You didn’t, Jessie,” Beau said, finally rolling over. She didn’t have her goggles on and so she could barely see in the darkness, but the lump she assumed was Jester moved in tandem with her. Beau had spent enough time gazing at her to know the curve of her horns...her artist’s hands...the freckles that dusted her skin and nose. Beau colored in the lines like she was a child, and didn’t need her sight to tell her what she would see. “I was just upset at having been stabbed. It hurt. And it was lame.” 

“It was a little lame,” Jester said, a half-hearted laugh in her throat, a pout forming on her mouth. 

“Not just a little,” Beau said, self-depreciation a comfortable skin to slip into. This was charted waters, this was safe with Jester. This is what she wanted, she told her errant heart. She wanted her heart and her friendship to be safe. If it was safe, there would be nothing precious to lose. Beau didn’t think she would be able to stand that. 

“A lot a bit then,” Jester corrected. “But I am sorry anyways I...I’ll try to be a better cleric I swear.” 

“You are already the greatest cleric,” Beau promised her. “After all, there aren’t many clerics who make their own gods.”

“The Traveler and I are cool like that,” Jester said and Beau could hear the smile on her voice. She could see it in her mind’s eyes, the way it drew across her face and just brightened her and everything around her. She was precious and sacred and Beau was none of those things. Not for me, a part of Beau cried with hot, childish tears. Not for me, never for me. Why would she ever want me? She is a vessel for a power greater than I can understand...why would she ever want someone who uses all their strength to simply not fall apart?

“Yeah, you guys are,” Beau said as she drew in her strength to sit up despite the way her muscles and bones protested. “I’m gonna go for a quick walk. I’ll be back.” 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Jester asked her, sitting up suddenly. 

“No,” Beau said, doing her best to smile for Jester. After all, only one of them could really see in the dark. “I’ll be back.” 

“Alright...if you are sure,” Jester said, not sound happy about this arrangement. Just that was enough to almost send Beau back, but she didn’t. She steeled herself and moved forward instead. Beau fumbled for the door, groping for the knob in the darkness. She opened it and was out in the dark, empty hall. She almost made it all the way down the hall when the pain in her side forced her to stop. She crumbled against the wall, her eyes burning with tears that she refused to shed. She smacked her hand against the wall as she slid down, the dull ache doing nothing to distract her from the pain in her chest. No one else was there...it was far too late for anyone to be wandering the halls anyways, and Beau had never been more grateful to anything in her whole life. 

Make me understand, her mother had once whispered to her. Why can you not just behave? It will be so much easier, was what her mother hadn't said but it had been written all over her face. 

Marry a nice boy from a good family, have your dalliances quietly on the side, shit out kids because that's your job and it has worked for a million women before you and it can work for you. Why can't you just accept the things that are settled in front of you for the way they are, was what her father had meant when he refused to look at Tori as Beau was hauled from that jail cell that night. 

Beau felt the urge to cry again. How much more orderly...how much smaller was she going to be forced to make her feelings? She simply couldn't force them into any more boxes to be labeled and filed away when they were pounding at her ribcage...bleeding out all over her like a fresh wound. It was bad enough that she had fallen in love for the first woman who hadn't cringed at her touch, but now this? Where was the fucking justice in this? She was supposed to be made of stronger stuff than this, but apparently all she had done was gilded her ribcage without accounting for the things within it.

“Beau?” Yasha’s voice was quiet and worried as she peaked out of the door of the room she was sharing with Fjord and Caduceus. Her dark hair swept out like a curtain as she did, and Beau wanted nothing more than to tuck it behind her ear. Was Yasha’s hair soft? And though those thoughts were surely not practical at this moment, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking them. “Beau...are you alright?” 

Beau startled in spite of herself. She was usually so much better than this, but that night she was scraped from the bottom of a barrel. Yasha was standing in the hallway. Her figure cut imposingly, but as soon as she saw there was no danger she almost shrunk into herself as she usually did. Her shoulders rolled in on themselves in an attempt to be smaller...less obvious, despite the fact that such a thing was impossible. Beau had the urge to gather Yasha up in her arms and...no. It was bad enough that her heart was bleeding out for Jester, she didn’t need anything else confusing her already blurry perspective. 

And you almost threw it all away, and you think you deserve anything? What a joke, a vicious part of her snapped, tearing at her already shredded insides like she had swallowed daggers. You may as well just walk back to that hag in the woods and offer all of your happiness. 

Why couldn’t this just be a problem she punched away? It would make everything so much easier, Beau thought beyond frustrated with herself. She had more important things to worry about. She had almost died and left them behind, but she was crying over this? Pathetic. 

“My shitty cracked ribs fucking hurt,” Beau said sniffing as she angrily swiped her hand beneath her nose. Yasha looked down the hall, before settling next to Beau on the floor. Yasha held out her hand timidly, like Beau would shy away at the touch. When Beau instead settled her hand in Yasha’s they were both surprised. Beau felt Yasha’s magic move through her, hum against her skin the way that the scent of a thunderstorm carried in the wind on a summer night. This time, the pain substantially subsided, and Beau found she could breathe in deep and even hold it without her breath stuttering in her throat. Unfortunately, her breath caught on her jagged-edged sadness and she let out a half-sob half-chuckle. 

“Beau?”

“I’m sorry, Yasha,” Beau murmured and she settled her head against her knees. “It’s my fault, not yours.”  

“Being hurt is never fun,” Yasha observed, her expression smooth and revealing nothing. 

“No, being hurt fucking sucks and I hate it,” Beau said, not willing to admit she was talking about more than just her stupid ribs. From the look on Yasha’s face, she understood what she meant intimately. 

And of course Yasha did. Yasha wore her pain like a mantle of wings that spread out from her shoulder blades and cut across the sky. And she was beautiful for it. She was beautiful for how she continued to rise up and survive with such grace and fortitude, while Beau clawed and screamed and brought everyone else down with her. Beau broke the precious things in her life, while Yasha did everything she could to save them. And Yasha would understand...Beau knew she would. And the desire to spill everything was building in her throat hot and fast again. But with those feelings came others, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to face any of them yet...not when Yasha’s eyes were the blue-violet of a twilight in the darkness. Their eyes met, and the moment was alive. 

“Are you tired?” Yasha asked softly. Her voice had always been quiet and hushed, almost like the sound of the wind through the grass. But now in the quiet and the dark the tones of her voice were resonating deep in the marrow of her bones. 

“Yeah...I think I’m just tired,” Beau admitted and just like that the moment was past. Tired of this. Tired of her traitorous heart that swung like a pendulum between her desires and didn’t settle. Tired of the fact her family could still hurt her even though she was done with them. Tired of this love that would only hurt her. Tired of knowing that she wouldn’t give her love up for anything regardless. Tired of herself. Tired of everything and nothing all at once and the fact that this just kept happening. She would have hoped that something would be different this time. 

“Rest then,” Yasha said, patting her own shoulder. “You can rest here, and I’ll keep you safe.”

You can’t, Beau wanted to say as she met Yasha’s knowing eyes. You shouldn’t. It’ll just hurt us all. There was a heart breaking there and Beau couldn’t understand it. Why? How could Yasha keep giving despite it all? Though maybe it shouldn’t be surprising, Yasha had always been able to carry her and Jester and everyone else.   

“Okay,” Beau said instead, leaning against Yasha gingerly. “Thank you, Yasha.”

“You are welcome Beau,” Yasha said quietly in return. 

And so Beau drifted off again, but this time, the darkness welcomed her warmly into its arms. 

[sixteenyearoldrants]

entry number one - to my old friend group, i am not stupid.

disclaimer: this is basically a diary. when i was 8 i took a dork diaries quiz and it told me to write a blog as a form of venting, which is exactly what i’m doing right now. you should definitely not read this fellow tumblr users it’s boring and a waste of your time i’m basically just talking to myself. if you read this and think you know me irl, no you don’t. i’m using initials to replace names btw.

introduction to my rant

my school is tiny. it only has like 250 people in the ENTIRE school, and my year (the biggest year) has 53 people. over half of them are guys, so that leaves my options for school friends pretty limited. if you’re wondering why i don’t include guys as possible friend group joiners, there is absolutely no reason why, except the fact that there’s an unspoken rule that there are no mixed gender friend groups. at all. they just don’t exist in my year. they exist in the other schools in my town, the ones with over 900 people, but definitely not in mine. as of right now, there are seven friend groups in my year. all groups except group one are all girls

group one is all of the guys. they all have their own little micro groups, but usually all of them hang out in one huge group together. group two and three are kinda exclusive? like they’ve stayed the exact same people since day one, and they’re all actually really nice but i’ve never talked to any of them about anything that isn’t homework answers, so that’s a no. group four is the closest thing we have to popular people, except there’s not enough people in the school for us to have actual intimidating popular people and they’re too nice to be mean-popular. before one of these girls joined, she was a kpop stan and my best friend. she’s still nice but i miss how close we were before we drifted.group five consists of four girls (two of whom are sisters whos parents are first cousins!!!!) and are undeniably the ‘weird kids’. i’m gonna make a separate post later on why they’re considered this but it’s most definitely accurate name for them.

group six is my old friend group that i recently left because they were extreme bitches and sosososo toxic. they genuinely act like they’re better than everyone and judging from the shitty two years i spent with them, they actually think they are. the only person i actually like is LB, she’s the sweetest person ever, i love her to bits. she left the group with me for reasons i will later reveal.

and finally, group seven. this is the biggest group, with seven or eight people. i’ve always been good enough friends with the people in it, so when my old friend group got to be too much, they let me and LB hang out with them, and i’m so happy i was able to fall back on them. i’m a lot happier in this group.

the actual rant  - why my old group was so toxic

okay, so i come across as a very ditzy person. i laugh at the stupidest things. i zone out when people talk sometimes. i like to run everywhere, sometimes i skip. i always have to ask what’s going on because i wasn’t listening. i genuinely cannot stay serious. it’s just how i am. like i guess i am kind of a ditz? but i’m not stupid at all. not at alllll. as a matter of fact, i’ve always been really smart (except in algebra because wtf how am i meant to equalize algebraic fractions using coordinates???) but anyways i’m very clever. i can tell in two seconds flat if someone’s trying to bullshit me, i can win any argument purely through logic, i can persuade people by figuring out exactly what i know they want to hear without giving them false hope. right now, i’m doing the highest possible level in every class through my second language, in a school where everyone else grew up surrounded by it and i could barely say a sentence when i joined, and have never ever made a grade lower than a C+. 

i am not stupid.

but for some reason, because i’m a bit ditzy, this friend group took that as an excuse to treat me like i am stupid, and i hated it. it wasn’t so bad for the first year. it was normal. i may have been the most common butt of their jokes, but it was fine. there was no actual bad intent behind it, they were just normal inside jokes and stuff. but then, in second year, it actually started to sting.

i would say anything and automatically recieve a dirty look, for example, once i told them about my brother’s sleepwalking, because tbh if your brother unlocks the door and walks out of your house in the middle of the night to stand outside the neighbors door in his pyjamas and socks because he’s “borrowing the hoover”, ALL while asleep (he sleeps with his eyes open too which makes it even creepier bc he doesn’t blink he just stares with weird ass zombie eyes), you’re probably gonna think, ‘hey! that’s a funny story! i should tell my friends about that!’, right?

so i went into school that morning and told them about it really excitedly, and all i got back was one “... okay.”, and all of them giving me a weird look and giving each other knowing looks and then starting up a conversation about the posters on the wall in the room we were in, like i had never said anything at all. (LB wasn’t there. it was just the three bitches)

i know i’m just being dramatic. i know i’m too sensitive, but i had been so excited to tell them about that, and then they couldn’t be bothered to respond with anything other than a look. and it fucking hurt so much and i don’t know why but that memory just always stuck with me. after that i just kinda faded into the background for the rest of the conversation and didn’t say much.

but then i realized that a pattern was emerging. if i tried to start a conversation, i would get the “... okay?” and the looks would be given and exchanged. if i asked a question, i.e “wait, so *name* did/said what?”, they would exchange looks, giggle, and then say *insert my name* in a super exasperated tone and sigh, then continue without answering. they treated me like i was some sort of dumb dog, and i couldn’t stand it. constantly making snide jokes about me. i took the hint after about a month. they didn’t like me. i couldn’t make them like me. i just accepted it. but as you know, at that time i didn’t really have many other friend group options, and another girl had once left our group and they had talked so much shit about her when she left, and i knew they would do the same if i left. so i stayed.

eventually, in the last month of school, they started being bitchy to LB too. they would basically ignore her on the bus home, give her dry responses, just being typical bitches. it got to a point where we would be walking around at lunch, and the three of them would literally have their backs turned to us while talking under their breath so we weren’t included in whatever they were talking about.

i didn’t mind, i was used to it, but it was starting to get to LB. she cracked when i stopped to tie my lace while she waited for me, and the other three full on speedwalked away from us, no shame. she asked if i had been feeling left out recently, because she definitely had, and i was like “omg finally i’ve been wanting to rant to you about this forever” and i explained to her that they had never really liked me and treated me like shit and we decided to leave.

so we did. and now we’re with group seven, those ex-friends seem to have no problem with either of us. in fact, they treat us like nothing ever happened and treat me the way they did when they liked me.

so that’s something i guess. i’m not going back though. ever.

if you read all the way down to this i love you have a cookie.

❤ THE END❤

[starryknight09]

Unforeseen dangers ch. 4

Summary:  As Peter recovers from his capture by Ross, a photo of him with Tony and the Avengers leaks and is splashed all across the media. Luckily, no one can figure out who he is and everyone thinks the buzz will die down. However, the public’s interest has been ignited. While Tony worries it’s only a matter of time before Peter’s identity is exposed, Peter isn’t as concerned. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen anyway?

Read on AO3.

________________________________________________________

A knock sounded on Peter’s bedroom door just as he finished the last equation of the problem set in front of him.

“Kid, can I come in?” Tony’s voice came from the other side of the door.

“Sure.” He answered.

His dad walked in, a tense expression on his face.  He wondered if it was from the same thing that’d put a similar look on Pepper’s face.

“Doing your math homework?” Tony asked when he got close enough to see the open textbook and the sheet of paper with the completed problem set to the side of it.

Peter nodded.  “I just finished it.”

Tony ruffled his hair.  “Want me to check your answers?”

“No I got it.” Peter said, trying to fix his mussed up curls.

His dad watched him fondly for a moment, amusement warring with worry on his face.

Peter frowned.  “Is everything ok?”

“Everything’s fine,” Tony answered quickly, “but there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Peter’s heart leaped to his throat.  Had Tony figured out Peter’s plan to change his name?  Was he unhappy about it?  But how had he found out?  Pepper wouldn’t have told.  Had someone else?  Or was it just his dad’s uncanny ability to somehow know everything that happened in his Tower?  Maybe FRIDAY had squealed?

“Um what-what’s up?” He asked, trying not to sound as nervous as he felt.

His dad sighed, sliding his homework off to the side so there was a clear spot on his desk where he could sit down.

“Watch any TV recently?” Tony asked.

Peter blinked.  That was not at all what he’d been expecting.

“Um I watched a few episodes of Love it or List it last night.”

“I thought I told you that show would rot your brain.”

“I like it.”

Tony shook his head with a sigh, but Peter could tell he didn’t actually care.

“What about today?  Did you watch anything today?”

“No.  Why?  Did something happen?”  Had some sort of world catastrophe occurred that he was unaware of?

“Yes…and no.” Tony answered.

“Wow that’s cryptic.” Peter joked, trying to lighten the solemn mood that’d fallen over his room.  “Are you actually going to tell me or am I supposed to guess?”

Tony took a deep breath as if to bolster himself before he answered, “Someone leaked a photo.”

“Ok…” That answer was just as vague.

“A photo of us.”

Peter’s mouth fell open as he tried to absorb the words and what they meant.  “What?  But who would—?  When did—?”  He could only get out clipped, incomplete fragments, but his dad seemed to understand all the same.  

“Some government aide leaked the photo of us together on the couch after the Accords signing.  The press is having a heyday with it.” Tony answered.

Peter winced.  Oh.  That was bad.

Tony continued, “It’s playing on all the major network stations.  Everyone wants to know who you are and what your connection is to me.”

Peter frowned, staring blankly at his math homework for a moment as he tried to process the news.

“What-what does this mean?” He asked, looking up to meet Tony’s worried eyes.

Tony licked his lips and answered slowly, “It means…we’re going to have to be a lot more careful in the future to not be seen together.”

“But why?  If they already know who I am?” Peter didn’t really understand.  Why did they need to be careful if the cat was already out of the bag?  

“No.  They don’t know.” His dad shook his head.  “The photo isn’t very good quality.  I can barely tell it’s you.  They just know I was sitting with some kid.”

Peter scrunched his nose, not really loving that description.  “So what are we going to do about it?”

“Nothing.  We’re going to do nothing and let it run its course and eventually it’ll die down.  We’re not telling anyone who you are or what your relationship with me is.  But like I said, we’re going to have to be careful.  We can’t go out in public together for the time being.  One good photo and they might be able to figure out who you are.”

“And that would be bad.” He said, but it came out more as a question.

Tony frowned as he answered, “Yes Peter, that would be bad.  If the press found out you were my son, they’d hound you nonstop, and it wouldn’t be for only a couple weeks.  It’d be forever.  The unfortunate curse of being a Stark.”  

Peter swallowed hard, thinking of the paperwork he’d just signed to officially make himself a Stark.

“And that wouldn’t even be the worst part.” Tony explained, looking stricken.  “Certain people might see you as a tool they could use to try to get to me.  You’d never be safe, and I don’t want that for you.”

“They could try,” Peter smiled, trying to reassure his dad, “but I’m Spiderman.  I’m not so easy to get to.”

“Don’t underestimate the crazies.” Tony shook his head.  “It’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”

“So, if we’re not going to do anything about it, then why are you telling me?” He asked.

“Because I want you in the loop.  In case things come up or go wrong, I want you to know how serious it could be.”

“Ok.  I guess that makes sense.” Peter’s brow furrowed as another thought struck him.  “Wait.  Is this the emergency Pepper got called back to deal with?”

Tony nodded.  

Peter immediately felt guilty.  Because of him, because of something to do with him, Pepper had needed to run back to work to deal with the fallout.

Tony must’ve seen the guilt on his face.  “Don’t worry kid.  Compared to some of the things I’ve put her through, this is nothing.  And the game plan’s simple.  We’re doing nothing.  We’re not confirming or denying anything or making a statement.  It’s literally no extra work for Pep.”

“I don’t know.” Peter mumbled.   “She looked pretty stressed.”

Tony waved a hand in dismissal.  “She’ll be fine.  Believe me.  The woman’s as tough as nails.”

That got a smile out of him.  “I know.”

“Good.” His dad ruffled his hair again and he groaned in fake complaint.  “You’re done with your homework, right?”

“Yeah.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.  He’d done the problem set he’d been working on, but he still had a mountain load to do by the end of winter break.

“What do you say we go down to the workshop and work on the new updates to my suit?”

“I’m in.” He stood, always eager to work on the Ironman armor.

Tony got off the desk and wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they walked out of his room and to the workshop together.  It should’ve been comforting but Peter still didn’t feel completely at ease.  Even though Tony had tried to reassure him, he couldn’t shake the troubled look on his dad’s face from his mind.

“Hey Ned.” Peter answered his phone as he laid on his mattress.  Tony had sent him to bed an hour ago but he still hadn’t been able to fall asleep.  The phone call was a welcome interruption from staring at the ceiling.

“Dude you’re on TV!  You’re famous!” Ned erupted in excitement.

Peter groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“Have you seen the news?  Like literally everyone is talking about you.  I’m friends with a celebrity!”

“I haven’t seen it yet but I’ve heard.” Peter sighed.  “And no one can know it’s me Ned.  You have to keep it to yourself.  You can’t even tell your parents, got it?”

“Oh man.” Ned whined.  “Are you serious?”

“Yes.  I mean it.” Peter reiterated.  “Tony will flip if someone finds out that I’m the one in the picture.”

“You don’t think someone’s going to figure it out?”

“I don’t know.  Tony didn’t seem to think so.  I guess it’s not that great of a picture.”

Ned hummed.  “Yeah it is pretty blurry.  I might not have even known it was you except I knew it was you.”

Peter snorted.

“That sucks though dude.  I thought I was going to be famous by proxy.” Ned said with disappointment.

Peter grinned.  “I don’t think it works that way.”

“I already had an awesome tag line idea for my twitter.”

“Uh huh.”

“Do you want to hear it?”

“Sure.  Why not?”

“It was going to be, ‘Best friend of Ironkid.  Friend of the Avengers.’  What do you think?”

“I think maybe keep working on it.” Peter laughed.  “And my name wouldn’t be Ironkid.”

“Are you kidding?  The media’s not all that creative.  If they found out you were Ironman’s kid I’m pretty sure they’d dub you Ironkid.”

Peter made a face in disgust.  “Oh god I hope not.  That’s reason enough to make sure they don’t find out.”

Ned laughed over the phone.

“So I guess for now I have to stick with secretly being Spiderman’s guy in the chair?”

“And Peter Parker’s best friend.  Sorry.”

“It’s all right.  I like that role better anyway.” Peter could hear Ned’s honest smile in his voice.  “Besides, we both know I probably do better work behind the scenes than out in the spotlight.”

“Yeah and it might sound fun at first, but it would totally suck to not be able to go anywhere without being recognized.”

“Yeah you’re right.  Although, I bet we could get some sweet Comic-Con tickets if people knew who you were.”

“Tony can get those for us anyway.”  Peter rolled his eyes.  “And if no one knows who I am, we can go and not get mobbed, and actually have fun.”

“I guess you have a point.” Ned agreed.

Peter heard muffled voices coming from across the speaker of Ned’s phone.

“Um sorry dude but my mom says I have to go to bed.” Ned said.  “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Ok.  Good night Ned.” Peter said with a smile.

“Good night.”

Peter plugged his phone back into the charger and set it on the nightstand.  Fatigue leadened his eyelids, and he closed his eyes as he settled into his soft pillows.  Talking to Ned had at least helped him finally destress.  Sleep was no longer so hard to find.

“How does that feel?” Ross sneered at him as he stabbed a knife straight into his thigh.

Peter couldn’t hold back a cry of pain.  He instinctively tried to grab the offending object but he couldn’t move his arms.  They were tied behind him as he sat helpless in a chair.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” Ross said with grim pleasure as he slowly twisted the knife.

It burned.  Electric shocks of agony danced through his leg.

“Stop.” He moaned and crumpled forward at his waist, but he only had enough slack to make it a few inches.

Ross snorted in amusement.

“You want me to stop?  Oh no.  We’re just getting started.” Ross said and ripped the knife out of his leg.  It hurt almost as much as getting stabbed in the first place and Peter cried out again.  He panted as blood bubbled from the wound, too much too fast.

Ross leaned forward and placed the edge of the blood coated knife on his bare chest.

“No.” He pleaded.  “Please.”

The corner of Ross’s lip twisted up in a crazed smile and he pressed down.

Peter watched as blood flowed out and around the knife as it carved into his skin.

“No!” He tried to thrash away but he couldn’t as Ross trailed the knife across his chest to form a burning line of red.

Peter couldn’t help it.  He was crying now.  It hurt.  And there was so much blood dripping down his chest and out of his leg.  He was going to die.  Oh god.  Ross wasn’t going to stop.  He was going to keep going until he slowly killed him.

The man placed the knife a couple inches below the line of open skin and repeated the process, forming another crimson line of open flesh.  Peter didn’t want to look but he couldn’t help it.  The cuts were deep enough he thought he could see flashes of white bone underneath.

“Stop.  Stop!  Please.” He begged through his sobs.

Ross ignored him and continued the process, dragging the knife over his skin to make a third line.

Peter screamed.  He didn’t want to die.  He didn’t.

“Help!  Someone please!  Help!” He yelled hoarsely even though he knew it was hopeless.  He was all alone with Ross.

“No one’s coming to save you.” Ross taunted.  “Not even Daddy.”

Peter whimpered at that.  He wanted his dad.  Ross carved another slice across his front.

“Dad!” He screamed this time, clenching his eyes shut at the pain.  He knew it was pointless and that Ross was right.  Tony wasn’t coming to save him, but he couldn’t help instinctively calling for him.  “Dad!  Help!  Please.  Dad!”

Ross gripped his shoulders and gave them a firm shake.  Why had Ross stopped hurting him?  Peter’s eyes snapped open in confusion.

Instead of Ross, all he saw was a darkened figure leaning over him, holding his shoulders.

“You’re all right.” The figure soothed.  Not Ross.  Peter blinked and immediately recognized his dad.  He took in the rest of his surroundings.  He was in his room.  In bed.  He spread a hand across his chest but there was nothing there.  His leg was fine too.  Nothing hurt.  It’d all just been a bad dream.  Ross didn’t have him anymore.  Right.  Tony had saved him.  And Ross was dead.

Tony sat perched on the edge of the bed and Peter wasted no time in sitting up and wrapping his arms around the man.

“You’re all right.” His dad repeated softly into his hair.

Peter closed his eyes and melted into the comfort.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.  He had no idea what time it was, but Tony was wearing pajamas so Peter knew he’d woken him up.

His dad shushed him and rubbed a hand over his back.

After a long minute of silent comfort, Tony said, “You were calling for me.”

Peter knew it was a question as much as a statement.  His dad was offering him a chance to talk about his dream but he wasn’t going to force it.

“I was back there.” Peter whispered into Tony’s chest.  “Ross had me.”

Tony made a sound of displeasure but Peter continued, “He was hurting me and he wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t get free and no one was coming to save me and I just wanted you.”

“I’m right here.” Tony said, squeezing him even tighter.  “You’re safe.”

“It felt so real.” Peter mumbled.

“It wasn’t.” Tony tangled a hand in the hair at the back of his head.  “You’re not there.  And Ross is gone.  He’ll never hurt you again.”

“I know.  It’s stupid.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s not stupid.” Tony said firmly.  “What you went through was traumatic.  Someone took you, held you hostage, and hurt you.  I’d be surprised if you weren’t having nightmares about it.  Hell, I’m having nightmares about it.”

“You are?” Peter pulled back and saw the truth in his dad’s eyes.

“Yeah.” Tony tried to smile as he palmed his cheek, but he just looked sad.  “Of course.  Someone took you from me and hurt you as a way to get to me.  That’s the very definition of my worst nightmare.”

“Really?”

“Yes.  Really.” Tony rubbed a thumb over his cheek.  “You’re the most important thing to me.  How many times do I have to tell you that before you finally start to believe me?”

“Lots.” Peter said and grinned.  “Maybe because I like to hear it.”

Tony let out a short huff of amusement and dropped the hand on his face so he could ruffle his hair.  “You seem better.”

“Yeah.” He agreed.  He did feel better.  With his dad so close, the fear from his nightmare seemed miles away now instead of lurking in the room.  “Thanks.”

“Think you’ll be able to get back to sleep?” Tony asked.  “It’s still pretty late.”

“I think so.” He said even though he wasn’t sure.  The yawn that escaped him a couple seconds later seemed to contradict his doubts.

Tony nodded and stood, fluffing his pillow for him and then gently guiding him backward to land on it.  Once he was settled, his dad pulled the covers up to his chin and brushed the hair off his forehead before lightly pressing a kiss there.

“Get some sleep.” His dad whispered.

Peter hummed in response, eyes already drifting closed.  He expected to hear the door click shut as Tony walked out, but instead, a few moments later, he felt the other side of his bed tip.  Peter cracked his eyes open and watched with a frown as his dad crawled into the other side of it.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Shh go to sleep.” Tony said, reaching a hand across the space between them to place it briefly over his eyes to close them.  “I’m keeping the nightmares away.”

“Mine or yours?” Peter joked.

Tony chuckled.  “Both.”

“Night dad.”

“Good night kiddo.”

“I love you.” He mumbled as sleep pulled irresistibly at him.

“I love you too.” His dad said back and Peter could hear all the fondness and love infused in the sentence.  “Now go to sleep.”

Peter hummed tiredly in agreement.  With his dad next to him, a sense of safety encompassed him, and he had no trouble slipping quickly back to sleep.