#Life After Bankruptcy

[lawsuncoast]

Life After Bankruptcy

Recovering from bankruptcy? It's possible to rebuild your credit and secure a brighter financial future. At SunCoast Law, we offer expert advice on life after bankruptcy. Learn how to improve your credit score, manage debt, and make smart financial decisions. Let us guide you toward financial stability—contact us today to start rebuilding!

[jay-weller]

Renting An Apartment In Florida After Bankruptcy

Renting An Apartment In Florida After Bankruptcy - #jayweller #bankruptcy, #Bankruptcyassistance, #Bankruptcyattorney, #BankruptcyLawyer, #Chapter7, #FilingForBankruptcy, #Law, #Tips, #WellerLegalGroup - https://www.jayweller.com/renting-an-apartment-in-florida-after-bankruptcy/

[eurekavalley]

🚨 It's David and Jennifer Lynch week on ymrt (x)

[batshit-auspol]

With the sudden collapse of the Soviet Union in the early 1990s, many of the former empire's resources were sold off to the highest bidder, and their $14 billion space shuttle program was no exception.

Seeking to recoup some of that eyewatering spend, in 1998, the "Buran" (Russia's answer to the American Space Shuttle) was offered up for sale on eBay for $10 million.

No serious offers were received - with most people assuming the listing to be a joke, until the New York Post confirmed the sale, with Russian authorities stating they "actually have two" if anyone is interested.

(Pictured: A later auction of a smaller scale Buran in 2005)

Sensing an opportunity, a group of Aussie entrepreneurs including Australia's first astronaut and the lawyer for Prime Minister Paul Keating offer to lease the shuttle from Russia, to put it on display in Australia during the Sydney Olympics.

After gaining permission from the Kremlin for the lease, in 1999 the Russian military briefly stops bombing Chechnya in order to dismantle the Buran, and it is placed on a barge to be shipped to Sydney on the (soon to be infamous for other reasons) Tampa shipping vessel at a cost of $5 million.

Once in Sydney, after a disastrous few months on display where crowds failed to flock to the shuttle exhibition featuring such compelling educational offerings as "activities is to assist in the development of issues of nutrition and hygiene at home" (an actual quote from their website) - the leasing company declared bankruptcy and washed their hands of the space shuttle completely.

The Buran Gift shop where you could buy soviet space ship themed football jerseys, in case you needed one of those

One of four people listed on the lease, described as a business partner of the Prime Minister, also claims he never knew he was a director of the company, which went on to cause a lot more problems.

This whole debacle presented a slight issue for the cash strapped Russian authorities, who had now only been paid $100,000 for the 9 year lease of the shuttle instead of the $600,000 they were owed. Eventually the decision was made to abandon the once $1 billion Soviet pride and joy in a Sydney carpark, where it resided for a year under a small tarpaulin.

Failed attempts to be rid of the shuttle included a 12 day auction hosted by an LA radio station, where listeners were offered the chance to buy the shuttle for $6 million, however all bids turned out to be pranks and the shuttle remained.

Multiple attempts were also made to sell the shuttle to Tom Cruise, with the exacerbated movie star's representatives repeatedly telling the insistent traders that he was not interested in owning a Russian spaceship.

Eventually a Singaporean group dismantled the shuttle and shipped it overseas, however Russian authorities soon reported they once again had been failed to be paid for the lease. Singaporean representatives responded that they definitely had paid for the shuttle, and that they simply couldn't remember when or how much was paid.

Representing the Russian government, Lawyer Suhaila Turani told the Wall Street Journal “I feel sorry for the Russians. They’re good in space, but they’re very naive in business.”

For a time the shuttle was abandoned in the storage yard of event company Pico, with the company owner telling the Wall Street Journal "I just want this thing out of my life" after three years of being stuck with it.

A few years later the shuttle was found by German journalists dismantled in a junkyard, and it was then bought and shipped to Germany to be put on display a museum, so all's well that ends well (except they dropped it from a crane while trying to set it up, but it polished up okay).

[natalievoncatte]

They didn’t know Alex was watching them.

She was the only one awake- Kelly was sleeping in near silence, her breath tickling Alex’s throat, as her head lay pillowed on Alex’s chest. After the reception had formally drawn to a close, the core group, the Superfriends, had all moved on to the sprawling mansion that Lena had generously rented for them to inhabit for a few days before Alex and Kelly left for their proper honeymoon.

Alex was the only one awake. They’d all be tired and hadn’t even finished the drunken game of monopoly they’d begun for old time’s sake. Kelly had changed out of her wedding dress and Alex out of her suit and they lay curled up on a loveseat beside the crackling fireplace. Nia and Brainy were in a similar state on the couch. Between them all, Kara’s little doggie monopoly piece remained where it had last landed on Park Place, forcing her to declare bankruptcy and, of course, end up ceding all her deeds to Lena.

The game was essentially over at that point and everyone knew it, so the drinking began to lubricate the passing of stories and telling of tales. A second buzz in the same day always hit harder than the first and everyone fell asleep where they sat, except Alex.

She had a sick terrible feeling in her stomach, not of regret surely, but a dread she had trouble explaining. It finally hit her as she watched the firelight dance across Kara’s features.

Something had changed. Something was over, a page turned to a new chapter. One where, Alex somehow knew, their lives would no longer revolve around alien insanities and mystical calamities. The world was settling, shuffling back to the state it was in before Kara caught that plane all those years ago and announced herself to the world.

A more normal time, calmer, changed perhaps in many ways but just… life.

Now that Alex was at the threshold with her toes curled back from it and unsure if she was ready to cross, she felt a little loss. Her future was looking less superheroic and more soccermometic; Kelly had her two-thirds of the way convinced to reactivate her medical license and join a practice. When everyone talked about their futures the sounded mundane, even Kara was more excited about her big new job and chasing her dreams.

Wait.

Alex was wrong. Kara was awake, she was just so utterly entranced that one might be misled into thinking that she was merely dreaming.

Kara and Lena somehow ended up in a wide chair together, curled up in a tangle of limbs, wrapped in Kara’s cape as a blanket. Lena was tucked in under Kara’s chin on Kara’s lap, clearly in a deep, peaceful sleep.

Kara, however, was very much awake. She held Lena in a particular way, at once shockingly gentle and fiercely protective, making a fortress of her arms. Kara was intently focused on her chair-mate, either staring at her with the most pitiful expression of fear and anxiety or nuzzling her nose into her dark curly locks and sighing.

Alex frowned, unsure what to do or say. Her sister looked pained, as pained as Alex had ever seen her. She knew for a fact that she and Lena weren’t fighting- they spent more time together than ever now; it had started with them effectively splitting their time between their respective apartments but over the last couple of months had shifted to Lena, for all intents and purposes, shacking up with Kara. They spent no more than one night in ten apart and of those nine they were together, eight seemed to be at the loft.

Whenever Alex set foot inside, Lena was simply there, for no special or particular reason, the two of them just sharing the same space casually and naturally.

So why did Kara look so broken?

“Hey, kiddo,” Alex whispered. “Why the long face?”

“I can’t talk about it now.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

“You guys didn’t have a fight or something, did you?”

Kara was quiet for a time.

“I think I waited too long.”

“For what?” said Alex.

“Don’t you know?”

Alex furrowed her brows, watching intently. Lena stirred, perhaps nudged towards consciousness a little by their murmured conversation and the urgency in Kara’s soft voice.

Then it hit her. Indeed, it struck her like a physical force. Kara looked down at Lena again and Alex gasped at the realization, wondering how the hell she had missed this, of all things.

She’s seen Kara smitten before, like she’d been with Kenny or the fuckboi from the dickhead planet. That was different. That was not this. Kara looked at Lena like she might not be able to breathe if she let her out of her sight.

Oh. Oh shit.

“We’re all moving on with our lives,” Kara whispered. “Taking new jobs, getting married, starting new careers. What happens when she’s too busy for me, Alex? When she finds somebody else and wants a real family and a real life and not… whatever we’re doing? What happens when…”

Kara must have noticed, her incredibly unfair super senses alerting her even before Alex noticed that Lena was awake, her blue eyes dark and soft in the flickering light.

Total silence fell over the room; all Alex could hear was Kelly breathing against her.

“I have a real family, Kara,” Lena said, softly. “They’re right here. You’re right here.”

“Lena?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lena said, lifting her head gently from Kara’s face. “Ever. I promise.”

They stared at each other for long heavy moment and said nothing. Kara’s eyes were so soft, her gaze so heavy with love, beyond love, adoration, almost worship. Lena gave her a little smile and looked up at her through her lashes.

“Oh for fucks sake, will one of you just goddamn do it already?” Alex blurted.

To her surprise, or maybe not, it was Lena who crossed the gap, who sealed the deal. She was the one who kissed Kara but in moments it didn’t matter who started it, and Kara simply stood and lifted Lena with superhuman ease and was already carrying her up the stairs.

Silence again fell on the room.

“Querl,” Nia said, from the couch.

“Yes?”

“You’re from the future.”

“Indeed.”

“You knew the whole time, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh come on!” Nia snapped.

“I’m trying to sleep,” said Kelly, prompting Alex to snort.

Finally, they all did.

[maddymoreau]

Finding Frankie Ending Discussion

I've seen a lot of people discussing the ending and some confused so I thought I'd share my thoughts!

Why does the Real Frankie say: "Stop ruining my fucking gameshow!"

When you meet the Real Frankie in that room there’s a white board showing his plans. Which are to help keep the player alive until the final round in order to boost views. By not dying during the climatic moment you’re ruining his show.

How does the contestant survive?

Although it's not shown how the contestant survives. It's important to consider this scene is shown from the audience's perspective. Everyone watching assumed the contestant died so the broadcast ends. Which is why the credits begin to play.

We can also see this through the Real Frankie when afterwards he's watching the credits on his monitors. Along with how he's surprised when the contestant appears.

Why does the Real Frankie recruit the contestant?

When the contestant reveals they're alive this is a golden opportunity.

The broadcast is over (shown also by the TVs being turned off). It's just the contestant and the Real Frankie. Since you won, as promised, he gives you the five million dollars.

Although the Real Frankie helped the contestant survive they're the first out of hundreds to make it this far.

Real Frankie: "You're the first contestant we've ever had who won. Hundreds of people last a few seconds, a few last a couple of minutes, but you . . . you're different. I like that."

So he uses this as an opportunity to try and recruit the contestant for another round. Since contestants are disguised if they do another round the audience won’t know it’s them.

What is the contestant's motivation?

While not explained we're given clues throughout the game. Let's start with what the Real Frankie says about the contestant.

Real Frankie: “But let's be honest with ourselves for a second, contestant. We need each other. Especially you, I mean, look where you live . . ."

We're shown the contestant's apartment which is in rough condition. Along with the detail that the constant has watched prior shows:

It's important to note that the broadcast is privately funded. Most likely through people paying to access the stream and gambling thousands of dollars on it.

ANONYMOUS: "I HAVE 10,000 ON THIS GUY LET'S GO!"

For someone living in those conditions we know the contestant took a HUGE gamble for the opportunity to get on the show.

Considering they spent $3.99 X 769 boxes = $3,068.31

My theory is that the contestant's financial situation may not be the best due to gambling (or other life circumstances) so they chose to stay another round.

Real Frankie: ". . . And you've helped us. Having a privately streamed and funded show isn't the easiest thing in the world, and then, on the verge of bankruptcy, you came along. Our star, but stars don't just leave after a season, do they?"

[cherry-pop-elf]

New Chapter

Anya x Reader

Can be read as platonic because we all want the best for her

SUM: Anya gets an abortion so you and the rest of the crew wait for her. You were the first one, however, to see her after surgery. Also because fuck you, abortion rights

Warnings: Abortion, sexual assault, jimmy, medical situations, abortion rights, domestic happy family

“How long is it gonna take?” Daisuke asked, as he was worried but also excited. Excited for Anya to feel better. Worried for well….Not like he’s had the best reactions to medical situations. Example A being Curly in the wheelchair next to him.

Curly was doing so much better now that he was actually on the planet again. The doctors were still jaw dropped that Anya was able to keep him alive with so little. Was not only a testimony to how she refused for him to die, but him refusing to leave his crew behind as well. It’s still a long journey ahead, but he was in clean bandages and clothes at least. Was even able to talk again. Sorta. Rather raspy but he will get there.

Jeez where to start on how you all got here to begin with.

“She’s going to be fine. Abortion is way less invasive than you think. It really depends on how far along, but luckily she isn’t too far for it to be to extreme. Not sure what type she went for, but whatever she chose she chooses. Just grateful we were able to return home before she reached to far along.” You would admit, as you would check up on Curly’s IV bag for him. Taking over Anya’s roll until she could return.

“Ya know….My wife had an abortion.” Swansea said, and it made all of you look over to him in pure surprise.

“What’s the funny look for? Ya think I’m a freak that would refuse my wife that? She needed it! The kid just….It ain’t my place, but the kid just wasn’t gonna survive. Either she carried it to term and die with em, or she just skips the heart ache. Not like it was her fault. We got two healthy girls at the end of the day. We got em because she got rid of that fucked up one.” He explained, as Daisuke seemed wide eyed in respect.

Explains why he snapped more clearly.

Anya had explained to Swansea what had happened, and before you pre Daisuke knew it Jimmy’s head was sliced off and rolling across the kitchen floor. Poor Suke threw up all over you from the sight, and shock. Then threw up again when he learned why he did such a thing. Lots of puking and crying. Fitting.

“Glad that damn company is dead. Whose wise idea was it to have a single woman surrounded by men. No offense you two-“ Curly would wheeze, before you would help him take his medication. Sure is easier to take pills when you actually give him water and take it slow. No choking or crying.

“Thats a can of worms I don’t want us to talk about.” Swansea would scoff. As a father to two girls he had a lot of things to say. Daisuke would be willing to listen, sure, but honestly you all had enough emotional fatigue to last multiple life times.

Thank god Curly was so high up on the food chain at the company. They knew they would get into more hot water if their, once, top captain suddenly vanished. Wouldn’t make their bankruptcy any smoother. For once they did the right thing and sent Simeon to save them.

Funny. A capitalist corporate organization took responsibility for their actions. For the right reasons? No. But they still took it. Strange. Isn’t it?

“Is she done yet?” Daisuke would whine, as you laughed at his childish nature. As if waiting on a sister to get out of the dentists office. You found it rather endearing honestly. That despite it all he was still having a heart full of love and excitement.

“Go play on your toy.” Swansea would grumble, as Suke whined. Regardless he would pull out his game boy. A nice excuse to play video games with out any guilt on wasting his time. Enjoying life shouldn’t be a burden.

“Need anything, Curly?” You would ask him, since you planned on going to the bathroom. Yeah Swansea and Daisuke could handle him, but you still wanted to be polite. Maybe you could grab him something from the vending machines. Maybe a soda. Some sugar in his system would do him good. Anya said that sugary bubble water of some kind, like sprite, can help quite a lot with indigestion.

“I should be fine. Thank you for asking though. Sorry you have to…” He would admit, as he looked himself over. His missing limbs now properly covered up with fabric to keep them clean, and allow him some kind of independence. The fabric on the stumps were padded. With enough practice and effort he would certainly be able to roll himself around.

Then again this was a world of space travel. He was going to get cyborged eventually, but you need to be healed first before such an intense operation. Can’t rush something like this.

“Hey. I do it because I can. Not because I have to. You are our captain. Let me be a good solider.” You teased him, and even in his broken face you could see a smile.

Swansea have you a head nod to indicate he would ‘take care of the boys’ and you were off to use the restroom.

Once done with that you would grab a soda from the vending machine for Curly, a bag of candy for Daisuke, and some pretzels for Swansea. As you were making your way back a nurse would motion you over.

“Miss Anya was asking for you. She has finished her operation, and wanted you to see her.”

You were surprised at that. You expected Curly to be her first guest. Did something go wrong? Oh you couldn’t help but freak out.

You followed after the nurse quickly, and all you were shown was Anya resting in her hospital bed. Tired, but relieved. Mostly. You saw that familiar stress in her eyes. That same stress she had when asking you if she made the right choice in asking Jimmy for help with medicating Curly.

That worry of if I did the right thing.

The nurse would leave you to alone, and you would quickly set the snacks aside. Now you were sitting next to her, in a chair, and holding her hand. Ready to be the shoulder she needed.

“Hey there Doc. How you doing?” You asked her, as you carefully stroked the back of her hand. Made sure to be mindful of all the tubes and wires.

“Well….It went far smoother than I expected. It was just so quick. They didn’t even need to put me under. The IV is more so for the issues I already had because of being stranded on the ship for so long. It was just so quick. So painless. Was just like pulling a thorn out of an arm. It was….Simple.” She would try and explain to you. Needing to make sure to stop herself before using doctor jargon.

“Too easy?” You puzzled.

“Yes. It was just….I expected pain. Pain and anxiety and horror. Suppose even a nurse can come to learn a thing or two…..”

She was hiding something, and you had an educated guess on what.

“You expected Jimmy to break down the door. Weren’t you?”

There was silence, but it told you everything.

“Scoot over. Move it sister-“ You were now crawling into the medical bed with her, moving the wires around, and soon snuggled into her side. Hugging her close, and especially with your arm over her stomach.

“You did the right thing. It’s your body at the end of it all. You took responsibility of taking care of yourself. You wouldn’t have been able to live a proper life. You went to med school. You don’t need me to tell you the horrors of pregnancy and birth. That alone is terrifying. But also you simply not wanting to be pregnant is enough. Ain’t no Jimmy’s gonna storm in and say otherwise.” You huffed, as she smiled. Her head leaning into yours.

“Yeah….No more Jimmy’s. Pretty sure Swansea will make sure of that.” She did her best to joke, and you were proud of her for it. This whole ordeal was hell. Hell none of you will ever truly walk away from. But that’s ok. You all had each other to lean on.

“I think I’m ready for everyone now.” Anya would whisper, as you gave her hand a squeeze. You were so proud of her. This was all such a nightmare, but she’s taking it in stride.

“Hell yeah.” You agreed, before climbing out of the bed. You made sure to grab the snacks, and exited the hospital room.

“Come on guys-! Anya is waiting on you-!” You shameless shouted outside of the room. She couldn’t help her face palm. Daisuke sure was an influence on you.

“I wanna push Curly!”

“Like hell you are-!”

They would bicker away, before Curly said ‘fuck it’ and did his best to roll himself over. He sure was a stubborn one. Made it half way before you figured that was enough work out for one person.

“Pretty far! Getting better at it-!” You encouraged, as the two men realized how far Curly rolled off on before finally following you two into Anya’s room.

“HAPPY NO BIRTH-DAY!” Daisuke would cheer, as Anya shook her head at such a joke.

“God dammit kid-“ Swansea side, before he came over to Anya. Giving her head a kiss. Just comforting her much like a father would.

“How many of us need to be in medical beds?” Curly would give a raspy snort, as Anya reached her hand out. He would lean his head over, and she would give it a stroke. As if all his hair never burned off. A means of holding his hand, in a way, compared to just grasping a limb.

She didn’t need children.

She had all of you.

What else could a woman want?

Since you were willing to read through this story to the end, and get a nice in depth look on the importance of such why not donate to some organizations? : D

Planned Parenthood

Nation Network For Abortion Funds

National Abortion Federation

The Bridge Alliance

The Satanic Temple

ActBlue

No worry on donating. Spreading awareness and signing petitions still help! The more people learn and understand the better! Could also like reblog with other organizations or petitions!

Abortion is healthcare!

[galene-gothic]

𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

Today we'll take a look at:

- your surface level personality/image

- your inner world

- your soul energy

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱

You seem to be struggling a lot and even others can see it or at least that’s your image. People think that you have an unwelcome community or no community at all. Even if you have friends, they could leave you out or you feel that way, or others can witness it or this is something of the past. You may feel a strong need for a sense of belonging which could lead to you overextending and being very welcoming, and gullible. However, despite this, you seem to be a bit isolated and seem to need solitude. You seem to be pretty comfortable with being by yourself. You definitely have those who think you are ‘all talk, no action’. People think that you’re judgmental and also have a tendency to overthink, that you have a tendency to overanalyse situations and people. There are people who think that you have unrealistic ideas without much planning or preparation. All of this may have been discouraging to hear but one thing is that you’re not perceived the way you actually are and that is okay, you are currently waiting for some sort of change but you’ve learned how to be patient by now. It’s not like you’re ‘all talk, no action’, you’re just patient and taking things one step at a time. You have learned how to go with the flow and are doing so for now, it’s just that others aren’t being able to see how you’ve cleared obstacles one after another and have had major expansion in comparison to your past. Your hard work is paying off little by little but you’ve not received all the rewards yet. Continue celebrating how far you’ve come, others just don’t know anything about you and your life. They think that you’re not doing well mentally and emotionally, that you’re at a rock bottom. It’s funny how people have such different perspectives of you than who you truly are. You look at it as even if those endings, hurt and situations were hard, you transformed a lot from it and you’re still in a transition period. You’re still letting go and changing. You’ve not fully gotten used to the new beginnings but you’re having a lot of them. Despite the negative feelings that tend to come forth, the fear and sorrow, the cycles have finally ended.

꒰ Your inner world ꒱

YES!! I’m so happy, I was right! Those who think negatively of you based on your surface level personality believe the same about themselves. They think that you’re ‘all talk, no action’ because they know they themselves are ‘all talk, no action’. You have a really rich inner world. At this point, you value balance, i.e. giving and receiving equally. Two people can go through the same or at least similar situations and turn out to be completely different. I wonder if you come from fairly humble beginnings, your family or you had a bankruptcy, you didn’t have a parent so you took up a lot of responsibilities, you grew up with your guardians instead of parents, started earning young or weren’t given much money (it could be a situation similar to all these examples). Even if you did come from a well off family, there was some sort of instability. There was a point when you probably didn’t have anything or didn’t have much. Also, you seem to have lost a lot, many people, things or you may not have had much to lose to begin with. I’m definitely getting that you felt unsupported by others and alone. I’m getting this in every sense, i.e. financially, mentally, physically and emotionally. Your health was bad at that time too. You didn’t look good physically (because you weren’t) and neither did you feel good internally. The loss of connections at that time was the worst thing that they could have done to you because these people definitely weren’t doing things for the sake of their peace or anything of that sort, they wanted to create chaos and pain for you. This is your confirmation that they wanted to break you down, they wanted to knock you down to a peg. You are too kind and strong though, despite all the difficult times and changes, you went within yourself to find answers and move forward. Despite all the distress that you had to experience, the moment you gained just a little more stability, you started wanting to give to others and become more good charactered. You’re grateful for what you have and try to treat everyone equally, and with respect. You already share resources from the good of your heart but you’re focused on your investments, you’re focused on building your money. You’re trying to be responsible and are generous, kind and truly valuable because you value the right things, and you also try to grow and live by certain values, morals and virtues within yourself. However, your past still is affecting you mentally because you were thrown under a bus and you’ve gotten used to thinking about it 💀. The metaphor I’m getting is that you were strolling with your group of best friends or your lover (possibly both) you had their best interests at heart and thought they had the same for you too but suddenly, in the blink of an eye, you were thrown under a bus. It was really difficult to even comprehend, the wheels crushing your bones, the confusion, until you eventually passed sway and when you woke up, you didn’t have those loved ones around you, you found out that your feet aren’t working anymore, you didn’t even receive a call from them to ask about your whereabouts and needs but instead, they started making memes about how you’re unable to walk now. You were hurt, betrayed, lonely but little by little, you tried to walk and even though it took you some time, you started being able to stand by yourself, then you started walking until you were finally sprinting. That’s just a metaphor but it was not an exaggeration, whatever those people did to you was the same level of betrayal that I’ve written in the example above (regardless of whether you realise it or not). You have a scary deal of determination but you also have a lot of energy towards those situations (in the form of aggression and anger) even if you don’t realise it.

You’ve had many revelations and still continue having them. You’ve started seeing the truth about past people and situations. All of you here lead different lives but you’ve learned how to find abundance right where you are. Some of you have good connections, some of you are progressing in your careers, some of you don’t have either of those but what you do have is that inner abundance. You have a strong desire and even daydream (possibly even literally dream) about community, healthy love, a happy family, a happy relationship, good friendships, etc. You already feel as though you have a fairly supportive work and personal environment. You’ve learned how to be emotionally content without experiencing all the highs and lows just because they might be exciting. You value belonging and long term commitments. Despite this, there are times when you get excessively negative though. You have a tendency to hold onto trauma and haven’t fully escaped your past yet. You can definitely feel a bit bitter at times. You also have a tendency to at times, let your emotions overpower your logic and at other times, let your logic overpower your emotions. Emotionally, you love unconditionally but your definition of unconditional love isn’t unconditional as in “even if you disrespect me and don’t love, I’ll still love you” but instead it is “I care about your well-being even when I’m angry at you”, “I love and respect you even when we are fighting”, “I accept your shortcomings for you are also a human”, “no matter how much we change, I’ll always love and devote myself to you”. Your emotions are also something that helps you express yourself better. When you love someone, you wish to express it wholeheartedly. You love everyone like a mother would their child, you’re incredibly giving and have a universal love. I wouldn’t be surprised if recently you’ve developed a love for kids or at least, you always have had compassion for kids and felt strongly against beating kids to discipline them, etc. You’re divine, not only do you love like a mother would their child but you also love like a child would their mother. For a child, their parents are all they know and usually even though times are changing and women work too, fathers still aren’t that actively engaged with kids, so it’s the mother that the child is strongly attached to. When you love someone, you give all of yourself to them and expect the same from them. You also have a praise kink ahahaha. It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed, I’m openly claiming to be one of your kind 😔. You have an innocent way of loving and desire to have people praise you. You are fun loving when you love people, with both friends and lovers. You trust them and can be quite naive to be honest because a child does usually naively trust people and especially they trust their own mother blindly. You’re extremely affectionate and tender, also so sensitive to little things. You could have had a parent, guardian or teacher not prioritise your gift to them or brush your affection off at least once if not multiple times and you’ve unconsciously carried it with you. It was especially bad when you were younger, if someone didn’t react the way you wanted them to, you would feel hurt and it would just make you think. You also develop a psychic connection with those you love, trying to and almost always successfully understanding their wants and needs. You are the type to send soft messages, say kind and sweet words, play around, touch them innocently, etc. Gosh, we don’t deserve you. Just looking at your inner world makes me want to love you and desire your love.

꒰ Your soul energy ꒱

Your soul is going to have to deal with a lot of pessimistic moments. However, the best way that you’re going to learn how to deal with them is by being optimistic. You’re going to experience the most exciting situations going sour and turning out wrong. It’s all so that you learn a certain level of detachment and realise that it’s not that you can’t control anything, it’s that nothing can control you, it’s not that you can’t own anything, it’s that nothing can own you. Just the way the cloud covering the sun doesn’t mean the sun isn’t there, that the sun isn’t the sun, it’s just a cloud that will pass by in its own time. Anything that causes you to not be yourself, anything that causes you to not be seen as yourself by others, i.e. the brightest star in our universe, it’s going to pass by in its own time too. Your soul has signed up for trying multiple times. Which means that your soul has also signed up to experience failures before you finally succeed. You’ll notice that the way your life works is - first you go down, then you eventually rise up, then you go down again and while most people would stay down, you rise up even higher. You’re someone who doubts people’s loyalty and well, unfortunately your soul has signed up to deal with conflicts here and there in your partnerships so that you can work through the trust issues that you’ve carried throughout other lifetimes. You’re going to have to learn overtime that a lost love isn’t real love because real love wouldn’t give up on you just the way you wouldn’t give up on them. Your soul is here to grow and expand, past all these issues. You’re supposed to learn how to just be, to just live in the present moment without any reservations and fears. You’re supposed to put your past behind and move forward while applauding your baby steps and how far you’ve come instead of being all impatient. The cycles that you experience, especially in the earlier stages of your life will come to end with many delays. There are going to be days when you’re left empty handed, also days when you won’t see major wins as victories. Don’t blame yourself for having been emotionally attached to your past at some point, you are supposed to learn how to not waste your life away for moments that have fleeted away. You’re supposed to learn how to not seek closure, how to find closure within people’s character and actions. “Pay attention to people’s actions and you’ll never be fooled by words.” You’re going to suppress pain and anger at some point, eventually overcoming a lot of trauma and emotional pain. You’re going to learn how to free yourself from unnecessary emotional energy and are going to forgive yourself, others and situations for the sake of your own peace. There is definitely going to be a point when you refuse to move on though. Until you finally accept the truth of the situation and move forward with strength. If you’re single, it’s because your type is yourself 😔. You’re emotionally mature, compassionate, caring, empathetic, wise, tolerant, loyal, devoted and passionate, and these are the same qualities that you desire in a partner. You strongly desire the affection of someone who’s emotionally mature and intelligent, and makes a good counsellor. You want to have a partner that’s better than you in some way so that you can learn from them. You want to be able to act like a brat at times. You want them to be empathetic and kind, and understand the matters of the heart by themself. You want them to be open to supporting others and especially you. You want a kind and respectable partner because you are the same way and growing to take on more and more of that identity.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱

You seem to be exploring multiple possibilities and options, often finding it challenging to choose a single path. This can lead to confusion and a sense of being overwhelmed by the choices in front of you. However, this exploration is a crucial part of your decision-making process. People might perceive you as indecisive or lost in daydreams but in reality, you're weighing your options and considering all possible outcomes. You may find yourself feeling stuck or encountering delays. Your usual swift movement and energetic pace might seem hindered. This stagnation can be frustrating, leading others to think that you're not making progress. Despite this, you are learning to adapt and move forward at a different pace, which is necessary for your long-term growth. It’s essential to understand that this period of slower movement is temporary and will eventually lead to greater momentum. You still need more experience for spirituality, emotions and love. You might feel hesitant to express your emotions fully, leading to misunderstandings or perceived miscommunications. Others might see you as inexperienced or lacking in depth in these areas. However, this is a period of learning and growth for you. You're developing a deeper understanding of your emotional landscape and how to articulate your feelings better. This phase is crucial for your emotional and creative development. You have a tendency to overanalyse situations and people, reminds me a lot of the previous pile, you may have been drawn to it. You may be too busy on certain aspects of your life which leads you to not having time to focus on the other aspects. You seem to lack direction right now but I would say that as long as you have your priorities straight and make decisions from your heart, you’ll be fine. I think that you have a slow moving body, you seem to give slow reactions but there are other days when you give impulsive and hyperactive responses? It’s quite endearing honestly. Supposing a football was about to hit you but it hit the wall instead, on some days you’ll just stand there and not react much, not even say anything, just blink a few times and go on with your day while on other days, you’ll be like “if this ball had hit me, I swear whoever kicked it!” while waddling around the football field. I’m getting that while others may not fully understand your journey or the depth of your experiences, it is clear that you are on a path of significant personal growth. Keep celebrating your achievements and know that you are progressing, even if the rewards are not yet fully visible. Your hard work and patience will eventually pay off, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

꒰ Your inner world ꒱

This is crazy. Much like the previous pile who were perceived a certain way by other people but were strongly of substance. It’s the same for you. You’re incredibly humble naturally but you still make the conscious effort to maintain and create more humility within yourself? I’ve just started reading this part but I already respect and admire you so that speaks for itself. You could have a few conservative beliefs here and there or just views that are considered to be ‘conservative’ but are actually just basic human decency? It’s very natural for you, you have these qualities innately within yourself and you unconsciously, subconsciously and consciously look for these qualities as well. You really value loyalty ‘stereo heart’ by Gym Class Heroes is playing. You’re not exactly satisfied with your current state of wealth, status and success but you still continue to carry yourself with your head held high. You want something more but you’re not underestimating the journey to get there. You understand just how precious the present moment is and you try your best to appreciate it to the best of your abilities. You’re committed to your present duties and responsibilities while still reaching for more because you understand that doing the best with what you’ve got is the only way to live a life without many regrets. You’re very human and you accept that, that’s a great part of your charm. You know that regrets are inevitable but you still try to make the most out of life. You’re very reliable and loyal. You have dreams but know how to have realistic expectations or even if you have big dreams and unrealistic expectations, you internally have the awareness of that so you aren’t discouraged when reality isn’t living up to such dreams, hopes and expectations. Plus even if you have big dreams before starting to work on a certain goal, once you start the goal, you’re able to appreciate your little steps. You also become very duty focused and wanting to do the best so instead of focusing on what you don’t have, you end up feeling good about how much you do/did and what you did manage to have. “Mindset so good even my failures are a success.” You are strong willed and are currently more interested in financial stability than romance. I’m not getting it being anything superficial. You’re an incredibly well rounded person who would love a stable and loving connection, it’s just that you are a person who understands that you have this one life to live and you don’t want to have a futile life where you didn’t even make the most out of your own potential. Also, your goals seem to be more within your reach than romance. You want romance and relationships in general (platonic ones as well) to not be forced so you’re just patiently working on yourself. You have a grounded approach to success as well.

You aren’t the type to be like “once I become rich, I’ll hang out with successful and rich people, I’ll fly in the sky and forget everyone”, instead once you become successful, you’ll make sure to give credits to those who deserve it. “Thank you for instilling me with such values in the short time that we spent together, I promised to lead a virtuous life back then, maybe not out loud but within myself to honour you. You deserve a large chunk of credit for my success and once again, I promise to lead a virtuous life.” Once you’re rich and successful, you’ll be sure to bow down to those who serve you, to the community, to those who have raised you, to those who are younger, to those who are older, to those who are growing. ‘End of beginning’ by Djo is playing. I feel like there was a certain group of people that you really loved. The feeling that I’m getting is a childlike warmth and fun. It definitely seems to be a whole community with one person or a few people being the most memorable. You seem to have a lot of love for people in general and now that you’re growing, you are more appreciative of those who raised you and taught you certain things despite their own shortcomings but these people touched you on a different level in a very short time. It’s not like you don’t have appreciation for those you’ve grown up with and those who have always been around you or anything like that, it’s just that the tenderness, warmth yet firm boundaries and tough love you received from this community or maybe a certain person/group of people within this community has caused you to become more soft internally yet firm in your approach to the world yet kind, and very comfortable with your internal values of loyalty, living life to the fullest, stability, being virtuous as though it’s your duty, etc. I just heard that their humble and down to earth ways gave you a new life. They seem to be people who you are not around anymore but the warmth and love that they gave you and you have for them remains within you. This is so heartwarming. Some of you may think that you were at your worst when you received their affection, warmth, kindness and love, and it is true for many of you but just think about how loveable you must be to be loved so tenderly, warmly and deeply when you were at your worst. Due to your desire to be a certain kind of character, when you feel as though you didn’t live up to such ideals, you have a tendency to be a bit hard on yourself. You may have felt as though you had really strayed away from your morals at that time, that you had failed to maintain self respect, respect for others, your own morals and values which led you to being a disrespect-able person at that time but think about it, just how respectable of a person you must be to be respected and loved by such kind, courageous (because it takes courage to be kind and loving) and respectable people.

You deserve the world, you’re so precious. You have practical goals and planning, you’re also working hard and remaining patient right now. You’re a diligent person who is creating a stable and strong identity, and future for yourself. You try not to slack off your habits because you understand that your habits make up your identity. Think about it like this, if I smoke for a few days, that might be just for fun, due to peer pressure or something but soon that smoking will likely turn into something more, an addiction to say the least. Soon enough, my identity becomes that of a smoker. “Galene is a smoker.” Externally and action wise, you seem to be pretty well tempered. While, you may get angry here and there, when it comes to even big things, you just deal with them instead of complaining. You’re approaching life with optimism and passion. You also have your own personal philosophy through which you go through life. You’re pretty flexible right now and are just trying to be more harmonious, and cooperative. You are not aware of it but you have a lot of faith in the divine timing of things. You naturally believe and act as though things will turn out to be fine in the end, and are being pretty calm about whatever might be happening. You are just trying to remain grounded and in flow with life. You’re trying to stay true to your purpose and seem to be able to find contentment right where you are, even though you’re trying to reach for more. You have become pretty divine ahaha, you have a natural love for humanity or at least act with it. You’re looking at your life as your journey and just going through it, doing your best. This is very specific but I’m picking up on a man or a guy? I’m not sure who this is but at least one or two of you have learned from them to the point you have become them to a certain extent. Is this someone from that community setting from earlier? This person has affected you positively though. I’m getting something about your standards here. This person has raised your standards significantly. You look for stability, efficiency, mental strength, discipline and safety in your romantic connection and connections in general. This person was really wise and you’ve grown to be really wise. You have always been wise but just hadn’t been able to embrace that wisdom but you are doing so now. You also look for wisdom in your companions especially within your partner. This person looks incredibly sexy when angry. You are both very passionate individuals but your fuse used to lose when you were around them but regardless the connection between the both of you is beautiful. There was a telepathic bond. “Real recognises real”, they recognised your greatness at the worst time of your life. You have grown to become a lot like this person, likely because they actively tried to instil certain qualities, values and virtues within you. They did so because they had faith in you. Be grateful, you’re such a great person, you have great people see your brightness even when you are at your dullest.

꒰ Your soul energy ꒱

Your soul’s energy is one where your mind is often filled with hesitation and uncertainty. There are moments when you feel a lack of inspiration and motivation, which can make it difficult to start new projects or pursue your passions. This might lead to frustration and a sense of being stuck. However, this energy also leads to teaching your soul the importance of patience and the value of waiting for the right moment to act. It's a lesson in finding your inner spark even when the world feels dim. There’s a layer of complexity to your mental energy. It signifies that your mind is deeply influenced by your relationships and connections with others. You have a strong desire for harmony and unity, and your thoughts often revolve around how to maintain balance and peace in your relationships. This can sometimes lead to overthinking and indecisiveness as you weigh the pros and cons of every situation. However, it also highlights your ability to understand different perspectives and your commitment to nurturing meaningful connections. You are someone who was probably a victim of thinking about others before yourself due to how much you loved them (in the past). Your physical energy and actions are marked by a tendency to be cautious and sometimes overly defensive. You are meant to struggle with impulsiveness and a lack of direction in your actions. You will find yourself starting many things but not always following through. This is going to lead to frustration and a feeling of unfulfilled potential. However, this energy also brings a lesson in self-awareness and the importance of planning and thoughtful execution. You’re someone who is deeply involved in the present moment with those you love. Wanting to delve into that love, indulge it wholeheartedly. Due to this, you create really sentimental connections and memories. Even after you grow, you will find yourself functioning from a very childlike form of love and connection, not just that, your actions will be very childlike too. This is going to manifest in all ways, you’re going to be loving and affectionate like a child, sensitive like one too (to the actions and words of those you love) and also having fun, playing, and finding joy in simple things like a child.

Which is why, at some point, you’ll find yourself being deeply connected to your past. You will often find yourself reminiscing about earlier times and drawing comfort from familiar activities and routines. This nostalgia will hold you back from fully engaging with the present at some point, but when you learn how to deal with it and be present, it will provide a rich source of joy and grounding. Embracing the lessons from your past will help you build a more secure and fulfilling present. Emotionally, you tend to hold on tightly to what you have, whether it’s material possessions, relationships or beliefs. You might struggle with letting go and trusting the flow of life. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a fear of change. However, this energy also teaches you the value of stability and the importance of setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being as you grow. You’re going to have nurturing and sentimental connections that might be short term, likely in community settings, most likely not romantic because you’ll love everyone from that community due to how warmly you feel towards them but leave you touched forever, you’ll learn really valuable lessons from them. You’re have probably already experience deep emotional wounds and heartbreaks in this lifetime. These painful experiences shaped your emotional landscape, leading to moments of sorrow and grief. However, this energy also signifies great healing and growth which leads to lesson being learnt. Through these challenges, you are going to develop resilience and a deeper understanding of your emotional needs. This reading is a reminder that while pain is inevitable, it also paves the way for greater compassion and empathy. Your soul is on a journey of profound transformation. The challenges you face are opportunities for growth, teaching you patience, self-awareness and the importance of emotional resilience. Embrace both the light and dark aspects of your soul’s energy, as they both contribute to your unique and powerful journey.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱

You are often perceived as hopeful and idealistic. You possess a sense of optimism and vision for the future that others find inspiring. People see you as someone who looks beyond the present difficulties and focuses on what could be. This perception can lead to others viewing you as a dreamer, someone who is always seeking out new possibilities and ways to make the world a better place. Your ideas are often seen as refreshing and uplifting, even if they seem a bit out of reach at times. People may feel that you have a unique way of thinking and that you bring a sense of calm and guidance, much like a beacon of light in the dark. However, this idealistic nature can sometimes be misinterpreted. Some might think you are unrealistic or too detached from practical concerns. They might see you as someone who spends too much time dreaming and not enough time acting on those dreams. This can lead to misunderstandings about your true intentions and capabilities. Despite this, your hopeful outlook and ability to envision a brighter future are strengths that set you apart and make you a source of inspiration for those who truly understand you. You are perceived as someone who has faced hardships but is in the process of recovery. They think that you’ve been through periods of struggle, possibly related to health, financial stability or general well-being. Others see you as someone who is working hard to overcome these challenges and improve your situation. This perception can evoke sympathy and admiration, as it shows your resilience and determination to rise above difficult circumstances. On the surface, people think that you have experienced exclusion or abandonment in some form, yet you are gradually finding your way back to stability. They notice your efforts to rebuild. This can sometimes be seen as a sign of vulnerability but it also highlights your strength in acknowledging and addressing your difficulties. People admire your tenacity and the steps you are taking to regain control of your life, even if they don’t fully understand the extent of your journey. Emotionally and spiritually, you are seen as someone who values deep connections and harmony in relationships. You have a strong desire for unity and mutual understanding. People perceive you as someone who is compassionate, loving and capable of forming meaningful bonds with others. Your emotional energy is often focused on creating balance and fostering positive interactions, which can make you seem very approachable and caring. You are seen as someone who thrives in partnerships and collaborations. You might have a partner right now? If not, when you do have love interests or even just talk about love, you talk about it in a very pure manner. Whether in friendships, family relationships or romantic connections, you are viewed as a person who brings people together and seeks to maintain harmony. They see you as someone who sometimes prioritises others’ needs over your own, sometimes to your detriment. While your surface-level personality and image may be misunderstood by some, it is clear that you are a person of depth, resilience and compassion. Your mind is a source of hope and inspiration, your actions reflect a journey of recovery and determination, and your emotional world is centered around creating loving and balanced connections. These qualities make you a unique and valuable presence in the lives of those who truly see you for who you are.

꒰ Your inner world ꒱

You’re healing and you’re aware of that. You’ve made some transition and you can feel the shift but what I need to tell you is that you don’t realise that you’re over it all. You are over it but it does not feel like so because not everyday is a fun, roller coaster ride. You’ve undergone empowering emotional changes. You have learned from your mistakes and have found the strength to move forward. You might be realising or may have realised that a lot of the love you received in the past was false. You may be realising that the love you felt then was the love that you were back then? I’m getting an acceptance of the fact that you almost always (if not always) got the shorter end of the stick. You’re interested in living originally, being true to yourself, instead of worrying about what people will say or what’s considered to be orthodox, or the right way of doing things. You have a strong sense of blind faith, as in you know that you’ll be fine? This blind faith doesn’t even seem religious, it’s just innate, it’s because you have great faith in yourself and the flow of life. You’re still changing your views as you’re still learning. “Maybe the happy ending was developing humility while still being proud of myself.” You have developed great humility in the past few years. You are going your own way. You don’t really have mentors or teachers, you’re just doing what you need to do, with whatever resources and knowledge you save or can find. While, you are humble and changing your beliefs, you’re not bending to other people’s beliefs because you have a knowledge of the kind of belief system you possess and wish to move forward with. Many of you contemplate religions a lot. You seem to know that there’s a higher power but for you, religion is trying your best to lead a righteous path. You’re also someone who is working really hard. You tend to get consumed by your work. Also, you prefer it being this way, you like to work in a space where you can be completely devoted, in a way you can be completely devoted, in a field that allows you to do so. Currently, you may not realise how much you’re doing because you’re doing multiple things. You should be more graceful with yourself. You lack elegance in the way you speak to and about yourself. You are critical of yourself and feel as though you fail to present yourself the way you wish to. You wish to be more refined in the way you present yourself. You should be a bit careful, you may be building great success little by little, you may end up with a lifestyle that is really hard to maintain. You’re putting a lot of emphasis on prioritisation and time management because you’re balancing multiple projects plus life outside these endeavours. When you work, you don’t just do things, you devote yourself to it, you pour your all into it. So when you work, you naturally end up putting a cherry on top of all that you were asked to do. You seem to be quite busy. I need to remind you that you don’t have time to waste but please take time to yourself.

I’m not sure who needs to hear this but please don’t start your day with TikTok or Instagram reels, there’s a lot of negative content on those platforms, it’s going to drag your vibe down. Your decisions require adjustments, even in your daily life because you have a lot to do. Everyday, you assess security, risks, calculating and speculating everything. You may be struggling with laze right now but despite this, you’re persistent on your path and growth. You have an inner satisfaction and contentment despite not necessarily being happy. You’ve learned how to think about yourself and put yourself first. You’re very reliable still and are willing to work for connections but now, you’re learning how to be more patient and less controlling with how things flow. You’ve also reached a point where if something is interrupting your peace, you just block it and try to shift your mindset to something better. You’re naturally very patient with people so you are keen on not letting those who are takers and talkers, and not givers and doers enter your life anymore. You’re practical and responsible so due to this, you consider the emotions of those around you. However, now you’re at a point where you don’t try to look at things from other people’s perspective anymore, you just remain practical and try to remain grounded within yourself. When you start focusing on the negative, it becomes really difficult for you to get out because it just pulls you in. You’ve learned a lot about life, you’ve learned how to live, you’ve learned how to be in the world and of the world. You still have slips here and there but I would say that you’re doing pretty well. You’re working for what you want. However, no matter how much you achieve, you feel like there’s always more to reach for, please take the time to assess and make sure that your desires come from the right place and mindset. You seem to be greatly committed to your career, goals, study and growth more than anything. As much as you would love a stable and healthy connection that you can just delve into, if you can’t find something, a connection worth investing in, you’re not interested in putting yourself in compromising situations. You’re emotionally attached to growing. You also tend to feel guilty when you don’t work or miss out on work for a few days due to your desire and almost a need to be, and feel as though you’re remaining consistent. You’ve value a bit more of a conservative approach to connections. You value fidelity, loyalty and strong yet humble, and grounded character in both you and the other person. You wish to have connections that are real, that are grounded, where you’re not looking at your phone when with each other, where you write and receive letters, give and receive flowers, and share and buy each other books. The conclusion is that, you’re very committed to and focused on your own growth and career, and when it comes to connections, you only want those that are long term and stable with trustworthy and reliable people. You’re doing well, all the best going forward!

꒰ Your soul energy ꒱

Right away, you’re bound for success and recognition. Your soul is on a journey of mastering inner peace and clarity. You'll face moments of conflict and competition in this lifetime, you likely already have but instead of being drawn into battles, you'll learn to seek harmony and understanding. You’ll experience many conflicts regarding competition besides the usual ego clashes. However, the thing is, as ambitious and growth focused you may be. I forgot to mention in the ‘inner world’ part of the reading but you value recognition and status. So, as much as you may care about these, you have a very grounded approach to these. You aren’t necessarily competing with people, you’re simply just trying to achieve what you want while you are going to have people in this lifetime who will compete with you over anything and everything. In fact, in the past, you may have been accused of being the competitive and inconsiderate one when in reality even your friends have been really competitive with you at some point. These experiences are here to teach you that true strength that comes from inner calm and being cooperative on the surface. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still very competitive, it’s just that your approach to competition is different. Due to how much others have competed with you, you may have felt the need to be competitive in the same or similar way that they were but you realised that you have an inner abundance that you used to function with but have gotten out of touch with. You’ll get back to your original approach to life and achievements, realising that it’s not about winning every argument or competition but finding peace within yourself and fostering it in your surroundings, regardless of whether or not you get what you worked for. Just as the clouds pass and reveal the sun, your challenges will pass and you'll shine even brighter. You’ll stop associating your self worth with how much you achieve. In your physical pursuits, recognition and success are just destined. Your hard work and persistence are bound to pay off and you’re going to have to celebrate many of your victories. Right now, you’re learning to accept compliments, praise and appreciate yourself and your achievements without doubting your worth. This phase of triumph is here to teach you the value of perseverance and self-belief.

Remember, it's not just about the accolades; it's about the journey and the resilience you've shown. Your soul has signed up for these moments to empower you to take bold steps forward. Emotionally and spiritually, your journey is deeply connected to love and meaningful relationships. You are here to experience profound connections that go beyond the superficial. Your soul seeks unity and balance, integrating different aspects of yourself to create a harmonious inner world. The lessons of love will teach you to make choices that align with your higher self and to embrace the healing power of love. Your soul's growth involves understanding that real connections are worth every trial and triumph, and that true love never gives up. You wish to merge with your loved ones especially romantically. You have a loving and considerate spirit that’s very genuine in nature, and you want to love people as if they were you, as if you are one. You wish to work with their best interests at heart so naturally, you wish to be loved in such a way too. You want to love people who see and treat you, and your connection like team and teamwork instead of working with self serving motivations. Your loving spirit is something that you’ll notice, never dies. You continue loving deeply despite how many times you may hurt because that’s just who you are. Gosh, you’re precious, never change yourself. Overall, your soul is on a transformative path, learning to find peace within, celebrate your successes and embrace the power of love. Each challenge you face is designed to help you grow and evolve. As you navigate through conflicts, rise in your achievements, and deepen your emotional connections, you'll discover your true strength in harmonizing your mind, body, and spirit. Trust that every step you take is leading you toward a higher purpose, and embrace the cycles of ups and downs, knowing each phase is a crucial part of your soul's growth and expansion.

[standamianwayne]

yandere!batfam/damian’s twin!reader

stepmom selina anyone?? anyone interested in some stepmom selina?? (me, i am)

i feel like selina would be such a girl mom but also i have this image of damian’s twin being like his opposite. sooo i think the dynamic between her and selina would be fun cause it’s like black sheep & white sheep.

selina would try and teach her the art of stealth and reader would teach her the art of idk friendship?? no but fr i feel like reader and selina would be such a fun duo. bruce’s girls tbh like they team up and they’re unstoppable. also can you imagine the boy advice selina would give? “yeah just steal one of his prized possessions and he’ll come after you. works every time 😏” like okay thanks queen! in terms of like yandere behavior, i feel like she’s one to plant the little seeds of doubt in reader’s mind about others. like “aw sweetie it’s okay, you’re way too good for them! you never do anything wrong 🥹.” meanwhile the person in question is filing for bankruptcy cause their valuables are gone.

barbara is so ‘cool older sister’ coded it’s actually insane. she’s incredibly smart and good with tech, plus she’s really pretty and cool as hell??? reader is like “hiii hello hiii ” and she INSTANTLY becomes her newest role model.

her like ‘yandereness’ would probably be similar to tim’s but instead of trying to keep reader home, she more so just watches her. like if reader wants to go to a party and it’s on a bad corner of town, barbs will give her directions to go to avoid the most trouble. probably the least likely to kill someone tbh i just can’t see her doing it.

reader and cassandra they were both raised by assassins so they probably bond over that and then how life is after leaving. it’s canon that cass can speak (which we’ve seen her do) but she uses body language instead of words. with this, i like to think that she can teach reader how to read people easier. you know, as a little bonding activity! also damian is canonically good with music (the violin specifically i believe), so reader is likely the same. so now just imagine reader playing an instrument while cass dances 🙏.

cass’s type of yandere is mostly just watching from the shadows. like reader brings a boyfriend home and cass is in the corner standing like mothman. if anyone does reader wrong TRUST cass will be kicking the hell out of them 🙏🙏.

stephanie, like duke, is the closest to the normal sibling experience one can get 😭 but tbh i see her as being more as a best friend that’s a ‘sister figure.’ plus i like stephcass so screw you that’s canon now. having improvised fashion shows at 4am, gossiping about everything and everyone (which she then tells cass but shhhh), having self care days like that’s her bff! with steph i feel like she’s not the type to actually attack anyone directly, but instead just telling cass and/or tim about whatever (or whoever) it is reader is having problems with. now if they’re patrolling together and reader gets attacked? yeah she’ll beat the other person up! (or at least get a couple hits in if reader already took care of it)

now that the fam is written for, please please please send any requests y’all wanna see! romantic (outside the batfam ONLY!!! no sweet home alabama here) or platonic, feel free to send an ask or leave a comment!

heyyyy… heyyyy…. how yall doing….? 😔😔 sorry for disappearing buuuut thanks so much for sticking around! sorry if this part doesn’t quite live up to the other two but somehow the girls are harder to write for?? i hope i got them but honestly any criticism would be appreciated. also i kinda skimped over the yandere part for helena so sorry abt that😭. might go back in and change it but who knows.

also i’ve been fixated on conner kent for some reason???? that’s my pookie guys yall dont get it.

anyways love love LOVE yall so much bye byeeee ❤️

[ladymrf]

kinda a wip? who knows.

how Conner Kent became Conner Luthor Kent

Kon realizes one afternoon when he, Tim, Bart and the girls are relaxing at a resort that is too expensive for any of them (except Cissie) to afford that, damn it, he can't go out with Timothy Drake if he's a nobody.

Tim is a prodigy, smart, rich and handsome and Conner could be the trophy husband, he would be so happy with that, but YJ's life plan is to get Tim out of Gotham and keep him from killing himself working as a civilian and in the nightlife.

Conner would never take Tim from his comfortable life, ruled by luxury and money, in Gotham to stick him in a student apartment in a corner of Metropolis, no, that wasn't right, if he wanted to date Tim Drake he should be someone important, someone who can afford the life of luxury that his dear Robin was born into.

People tend to think of Conner as a good country soul, he is, but half of him comes from a hateful little man who conquered Metropolis and made his entire empire.

Kon is intelligent, he has a lot of knowledge dormant in his mind, above all, people underestimate him because of the exterior he shows, so it's very easy.

He shows up at Luthor Corp (formerly Lex Corp, renamed after, well, Lex Luthor screwed up and got arrested, he did a lot for Kon to remember). Lex's sister is officially in charge, but the board of directors runs the company, so Kon schedules a meeting with Lena Luthor, arrives in his civilian clothes, tells her he'd like to know what's going on with the company now that Lex is in jail. Lena explains that the company is only in one piece thanks to the board's herculean effort to prevent bankruptcy (a lot of people would lose their jobs and benefits because of that), Lex was the entire mind behind that company, no one could understand the notes he left or decode what his plans for the future of the company were about.

Kon looks at the sheets of notes from the notebooks Lex left and translates: You should sell the branches of the department stores in Australia, despite the profit, something will happen in the market that will make them bankrupt, it's better to sell at the peak of profit.

The board of directors looks at him like he's Jesus come back.

So it starts, he sits in on meetings translating and decoding the crap Luthor left behind and a few weeks later he has an office, months later he's using the man's old office and by the end of that year he's managed to get Lena to sign the company over to him with the full support of everyone important who worked there.

And boy, is that a lot of money, Kon manages to set up a college fund for Jon, buys new tractors for the farm and rebuilds the barn into something decent, he donates new computers to the Daily Planet (Lois almost cried over that), he also helped Kara finance an apartment in Metropolis for when she needed it.

The best part is that Kon loves his job and everyone else in the company loves him. All the money that Luthor Corp makes is practically given back to the community. In the space of a year, Conner Luthor (whose family relationship with Lex is unknown) built homes for the unfortunate, paid off student loans, created thousands of jobs, helped schools, donated to queer causes, and even planted hundreds of trees in the city. It was great. Kon was able to help out both inside and outside of the uniform.

So what if he used the money to sponsor Cissie's projects? Give Greta a comfortable life? Put Anita's parents in a good boarding school so that her friend could study without worries? So what if he paid for her and Greta's college? Who cares if he put Bart to work in the company's engineering department? (Like, the world thinks the Luthor Corp engineer is a genius, thank goodness they've never seen Bart work, or they'd think he's crazy) So what if Cassie Sandsmark gets hired as a lawyer for one of the biggest companies in the world right out of college?

So Kon finally has a name, he confesses his love to Tim, they date for months, Tim doesn't even notice his days in Kon's apartment getting longer, his clothes ending up in his boyfriend's wardrobe, he doesn't realize that by the end of their first year of dating, he's practically living in Kon's penthouse.

(It takes almost two years of hard work from all of them, Tim moves out of Gotham, finds himself working alongside Bart, before he realizes it he's already heading up the engineering department with his friend, he works reasonable hours, takes photography courses, helps the police as the only vigilante in Metropolis, the whole YJ moves into their neighborhood, it's perfect.)

(Clark was so happy, with YJ in town he could shorten his time as Superman and finally have some peace, of course he miscalculated this, in fact the need for Superman decreased with more heroes in town, but Rao knows that Clark's headaches only increased with the children running around town, he stopped trying to talk sense into them after seeing Red Robin hang Impulse upside down from a rooftop after the speedster ate his slice of cake, at least Jon was in the care of the best babysitters in town whether as a hero or civilian.)

Kon discovered himself, he was good at doing business, a shark like Lex was disguised by the Kents' easy charm, he smiled at each older executive already thinking "how am I going to use this one for my purposes?" He could come up with Lex's most crazy ideas to run the company, without violating any human rights in the process of making more money.

(Lex couldn't even get angry, because now the Luthor name was associated with Conner not him, the company was something to be remembered for the good things the boy was doing, not for the crazy things he did. His legacy would live on, his creation would guide Metropolis when he was gone.)

[sillysiluriforme]

And the holders, oh god how the holders would view it all.

Nino wouldn't really understand all the reasons why, but he'd know (or learn painfully) that opportunities to DJ are down, that clubs are closing (who would party in such times?) and that people are struggling. Wayzz wouldn't help much, just urging Nino to help and protect whoever he can.

Marinette and Alya would know more due to family businesses, but mostly through belts being tightened, tight eyes and forced smiles as another shipment is delayed, as an order has to be rejected or reduced, as people walk out unable to buy fresh food (or with food in hand, but the bakery that much closer to bankruptcy). Parents too kind to show the whole story, but ears near stairwells and hushed arguments get the message across. Orders are down, purchases fewer yet the shelves are still emptier than Before. They could sell the business, but a whole lifetime down the drain? Starting anew somewhere else, rebuilding from scratch? Besides, no one is buying, and there's no where to go. Perhaps a check comes from the french government, or a tax writeoff, but it's not enough. It's never enough. Trixx would know little, maybe having a holder own an entertainment business or two, but never having paid attention. Tikki may understand, but catching hawkmoth is more important, and would fix everything, right? Right? (Ladybug must carry the weight of the world, but the weight of one city could break this one) But Adrien. Adrien would know. His father wants to keep the business alive, and can do so because his designs can be made elsewhere. Shipped to Paris and photo'd on Adrien. Paris may have been a hub but it's just one in his Empire. He wouldn't hold back either. Anyone unnecessary- cut. Jobs are few but talent is plentiful. Everyone else in fashion is leaving, but no one in paris can follow. Quality can be dropped in Paris - what else can you buy? Pay drops significantly- if fashion is your passion, where else could you work? And Gabriel would tell Adrien everything. He'd expect Adrien to understand it all, to stare the horror down and keep an iron spine. Preferably with a smile on his face, but that softness came from his mother after all. There's opportunity in crisis, and a struggling man can be made to work harder for less. The city may be dying, but there's life to leech yet. And Plagg and the lamb would know. They'd understand the full weight of Paris's situation. Plagg knows that unless hawkmoth is stopped, Paris will die. He can feel the decay, the death, the slowly creeping end. It's his domain after all. He'd lie to Adrien, to provide some comfort, but they both would know the truth, and it's better that Adrien trust Plagg fully than to trade that trust for a brief hint of warmth. The lamb does not know the ways of man. He does not care about imports and exports or any of that. He does know the ways of gods. The cost of their games. The price that must be paid. He knows Sacrifice. And what is the worth of one city, compared to the world? (I love this AU)

[sinister cackling]

[mangaken]

Summary Backstory

Danny:

Danny was stuck in the ghost zone once. From there he met Frostbite, who acts like a mentor to him and teaches him a proper way to learn his ghost powers. He also got caught by Walker, who ruled the ghost zone at that time. At the end, he toppled the entire Walker's regime and ended up giving freedom to ghosts to enter the real world through Amity Park.

Jimmy: Jimmy is forced to work with the Syndicate, contributed a lot of mess up stuff that cost other people's lives, which he regretted for his entire life.

Timmy:

Timmy is just an average kid who was left in the care of an abusive caretaker most of the time, as his parents are always not at home. His only companion is the pet fish he won from a fun carnival.

Robert aka Sb:

Sb worked in the Krusty Krab as a child to support his only grandma. However, Krusty Krab was closed after several years due to bankruptcy, and the owner was caught for harboring an unethical work force. All the employees are arrested and taken by the Syndicate.

[simpxxstan]

lunch

pairing: elementary school teachers lee seokmin x f.reader

genre: fluff, fluff and some more fluff. a tiny pinch of angst.

summary: as a veteran at sebong elementary school, you don't let any of your juniors get too close to you. the new science teacher, lee seokmin, doesn't seem to get the note, though.

word count: 9.6k words

rating: pg 13 

warnings: use of a few profanities, mention of alcohol and illegal gambling. reader is a bit cold in the beginning. slight age gap.

a/n: SO MUCH FLUFF my body hurts but it was so nice to just write good guy dokyeom after all that angst for wonwoo. i'm sorry to any hyungwon fans who may be reading this though T_T

would love to hear feedback!! reblogs and comments are so so much appreciated <3

this is part of the boys over flowers series featuring booseoksoon + chan! this is the first instalment in that series.

It was a day of much ruckus and excitement. The teachers and students were all waiting eagerly to meet the four new teachers who were joining Sebong Elementary School that day. Children with bright cherub faces peeped from their classroom windows, some crowded in the corridors, and teachers whispered loudly, as they all waited to see the four faces of the new teachers emerge from the Principal’s office. And when they finally did, a loud, collective gasp was heard rippling through every room and corner of Sebong Elementary School. And then the bubble broke, as loud whispers and giggling overtook every other noise, as the four men smiled at the kids and adults gathered through the school. They shone brighter than the tubelights on the ceiling-

“Okay, I think you’re exaggerating, Sohee. I’m sure they don’t have 1000 watt smiles.”

“Oh, Y/N, but they do! Even an ice queen like you is going to melt when you see them. They just exude warmth, kindness, and handsomeness. They look like idols, really!” 

“Now you’re definitely exaggerating. Park carefully, and don’t daydream please. I’ve been nervous from the moment I let you drive my car.”

“It’s a third-hand car. I should, in fact, smash it, so that you can buy something better. The government’s just moments away from declaring it as junk.”

“This is all I can afford, Sohee.”

“Car loans exist!”

“Bankruptcy exists!”

Sohee huffs, and you meticulously check the rear view mirror to ensure she parks neatly. Once done, (read, once Sohee has finished touching up her lipstick and her mascara, and put a few cute hairclips in her long brown hair, cute by her metrics), you both step out of the car. The heat has become harsher, and you’re a little taken aback by the sting of sunlight on your skin. But it feels good to be out again after that stupid bout of fever which had kept you away from school, and consequently, your life. 

You meet several students getting out from the bus in front of the school, some smiling and already chattering with their friends, others shyly holding on to the fingers of their parents. Some of them wave hi to you, others loudly squeal their welcome backs. Your morning grumpiness is slowly wearing away, and you can feel energy bubbling in. It’s barely been the start of the year, and the little ones are very, very gradually warming up to the idea of being away from home for longer than three hours. It’s a trying time for their teachers, and you’re grateful that you don’t teach the youngest class. 

On the short walk from the parking area to the school, and it’s such a miracle that Sohee doesn’t start talking about the four new teachers, because you’re frankly tired of hearing about them. It feels like they don’t exist, and even if they do, they’re going to be massive letdowns compared to Sohee’s descriptions. Sohee does have the habit of hyperbole. 

But you fall headfirst into it as you slide open the door to the staffroom. Everyone stands up and greets you, as you’re one of the earliest members of the staff. You’d like to think that their greetings are out of affection, and not just respect, but you don’t mind. Majority of the staff is quite young, and people look up to you as the sunbae, and it’s a position of respect you crave and enjoy. It’s not like you’re great at showing how you love them either. You can just hope that they get to know about it from time to time, and don’t hate you for not being too affectionate.

As everyone stands up, you bow to the general crowd, and greet them back, but you’re also welcomed by four unknown faces. 

Oh. They must be the new teachers. 

Well, Sohee wasn’t really wrong-

Sohee immediately sparks up and begins talking about how you had really high fever, and every evening she found you lying inside your bed, covered in blankets like a burrito, messy in snot and sweat-

“Okay, that’s enough. Sohee, please spare them the details of my ugly illness.” You’re embarrassed and quite red all over, and out of the corner of your eye, you’re watching the reactions of the four new men. Sure, you may not care much about what other people think, but it’s your first impression after all. Everyone is quite vehemently cooing at you now, and the four men have confused, but concerned expressions on their faces. 

Minseo comes to the rescue, when she diverts the topic to introduce the new faces to you, and you’re grateful for the first time to hear about these new teachers. 

“This is our sunbae, Y/L/N Y/N! She’s one of the first teachers at Sebong Elementary School.” “Aaah, Minseo-yah! You make it sound like she’s old!” Sohee scolds, but you don’t mind. You sure feel old after the way that fever broke your immunity like a twig.

“Aah, sorry. And Y/N Unnie, these are our new joinees this year!” She gestures towards the men, and they bow. You bow in return, and take a full look at them, smiling back at them. 

“Hello! I’m Lee Chan, I’m a ‘99 liner! I’ll work hard and show my best side to you, sunbae!” “Good morning! I’m Boo Seungkwan. Nice to meet you!” “Oh, sunbae, hello! I’m Kwon Soonyoung, I’m also glad to meet you Y/N-ssi!” “And I’m Lee Seokmin! I’ll work hard, please take good care of me, sunbae!” They shake your hands like dominos, and your eyes linger a second too long on the last one, the tall one with the brightest smile. 1000 watt seems about right? “I’m happy to meet you too! Let’s work hard for a long time!” You smile back, and there’s a collective Fighting! through the room, before the school bell rings, and the cacophony of kids entering their classrooms breaks the silence of the school building. 

_

It’s lunchtime, and you’ve already forgotten their names. Sohee insists that you sit with them at the same table for lunch, but you’re not hungry enough to take lunch. It’s been a tiring day, and you just want to sip your iced americano and finish the pending work on your desk in the staffroom. Missing a week of school is as burdensome for teachers as it is for students. There are piles of things left to be done, and you assign yourself the task of finishing filling in the register with the names of the students for that lunch break. The staffroom is empty, and you’re happy to work in peace. 

You’re so focused on your work that you don’t even notice when a tall man walks into the staffroom sometime in the middle of the lunch break, peeps at you from his desk at the other corner of the room, and then leaves. 

_

It’s finally Friday, and that’s how you’ve spent the last four lunch breaks. You’re finally getting through the pile of work at a steady pace. On top of it all, the Principal has promoted you to the Head Teacher of Science Department, as the previous head’s tenure is over, and that means all the science teachers have to approve their lesson plans for this term through you and you’re also in charge of allotting field trips for scientific experiments. 

That’s why Lee Seokmin ambushes you when you’re about to leave at the end of the school day. “Sunbae, I was wondering if you could perhaps look at my lesson plan once? Maybe you could go over it during the weekend?”

You halt your actions of packing your bag, and carefully take the folder from the outstretched hand of the tall man towering over your desk. “Umm, I could look through it now.”

“No, I mean! I’m sorry I didn’t know how to approach you earlier, Sunbae. I’m sorry, I don’t want to keep you from heading home, I’m really sorry-”

“Please stop apologising, Seokmin-ssi. It’s not a big deal. It’s better for me to go through it now in your presence, rather than take it home. I’ll be able to discuss it more smoothly with you then, in case any changes are needed.” 

His puppy brown eyes become tiny slits as he smiles wide. You realise that his hair is draping over his forehead in black curls, and the white shirt he’s wearing reveals the column of his neck very elegantly. He does look good enough to be an idol, you think. 

“Seokmin-ssi, come take a seat here. I won’t bite, in spite of what you may have heard-”

“Oh no! The kids are all praise for you. I’m so thankful to be succeeding you in the classes, because you’ve set such a strong foundation for the students. You’ve made my job a cakewalk, truly.”

“I’m just thankful that you deal with the younger ones now. I enjoy teaching them, but sometimes they can…” You smile lopsidedly, and Seokmin grins. “I’ve heard that I have a lot of patience, sunbae…” “And you have a lot of fighting spirit that we tend to have when we’ve just joined the school. You’ll manage.”

And then the conversation halts. It flows in bits and pieces, as you flip through his lesson plan and discuss changes with him, speaking from experience of having taught these same classes six years more than him. His lesson plan book is very colourful, filled with stickers from cartoons, and brightly drawn smiley flowers. Something in you makes you think that maybe he’s not just doing this as a show for the kids, but also because he likes to do it. He’s very animated in every statement he makes, hand gestures all over his face, but he quietens down when he realises you’re no longer looking at his face, and would rather just get through the work quickly. You’re not annoyed at him, no. It’s just a little overwhelming to see all this energy being thrown at you, and it makes you tired, wondering how to reciprocate it. So you just silently finish your task, and bid him goodbye. He offers to drop you home, but then you say you have your own car, so he gives you another smile and with a natural ease, hops on to his electric bicycle and rides off into the road. 

_

Seokmin-ssi, you realise, doesn’t want reciprocation. He greets you cheerfully every morning, whenever you see him in the campus, whenever you’re making eye contact before leaving for the day, and whenever you both arrive at the same time at school. He doesn’t just say hello, but he also asks if you had a good weekend, if you had a good sleep, if you ate breakfast, if you’ve recovered fully from your cold, if you’re taking your vitamins. It makes you more uncomfortable than before, confusing you whether he’s just buttering you up as a sunbae or whether he’s genuinely this nice. It’s also a little worrying because it makes you feel like he’s trying too hard to be close and you don’t want to be a bother for him, so you hope he takes the hint. But he obviously doesn’t, because the next time you walk into the staffroom determined not to leave your desk, and instead enjoy the peaceful solitude of the staffroom to recharge your battery, you notice a very neat lunch tray sitting on your desk with a note attached on top, “Sunbae, please don’t skip your meals!” It takes you aback, and you stare at it for a good four minutes. Finally you realise you’re too flustered to eat it, and you just keep it aside and get back at your work. 

When Seokmin comes back from his lunch break, he makes the mistake of looking at your desk to see if you’ve eaten, and there. He makes eye contact with your razor sharp eyes looking at him from above your reading glasses. He walks up to your desk and says, “You didn’t eat, sunbae?”

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I- I- just wanted to-”

“Firstly, Seokmin-ssi, I’m not skipping meals. Secondly, I don’t know if this is normal for you, but I’d appreciate it if we could be harmonious as colleagues. I don’t need you to be my mother for me and feed me. I’m an adult and I know when to eat.”

You can see him gulp and fumble, and for a second, you think you’ve been too harsh. You almost backtrack and apologise, scared that the little light in his eyes is going to go out, but he speaks faster, “I just don’t want you to fall sick again, sunbae. I’m sorry if I was too presumptuous. I’ll do better from now on.” And without another second, he turns and walks out of the room, leaving you speechless. The light in his eyes may not have gone out, but you sure were too mean. Afterall, he was just being nice to you, wasn’t he?”

_

So, the next week, when you’re finally on track and completed all your pending work, you walk into the cafeteria looking to take a lunch break. And you spot Seokmin sitting with Chan on one table on the teacher’s side of the cafeteria. Chan is a sweet boy, and you want to make amends with Seokmin, so you carefully walk across the room to their table and ask, “Can I have lunch with you?” You ask them both, and Chan instantly begins to clear space for you to sit down, but you’re distracted by how wide Seokmin smiles, and you know the ice has melted. He’s forgiven you, so you gently sit down next to him.

It’s a mistake. You hadn’t accounted for how broad he is, and how much he moves his body while speaking. His thighs inch closer to yours with every movement, although very much unconsciously. Even though you’re both sitting, he’s still taller than you, and it makes you shy.

You’re thankful when Soonyoung joins you across the table and you can distract yourself by speaking to him. “Sunbae, it’s so nice to see you in the cafeteria! We rarely ever see you outside the staffroom.” You smile as wide as you can, your mouth full of food. Chan joins in, “Yes, sunbae! Seokmin hyung’s been so-” “We’ve all been worried,” Seokmin interjects, and you’re hit by a pang of guilt. It is pretty natural for coworkers to care about each other. Especially since you’re their senior and they must be looking to make a good impression. 

“I’ve been a little busy with all pending work. The start of the year can be stressful for us senior teachers.”

“I hear Seungkwan hyung is being put in charge of the after-school creche duty?”

“You’ve heard right, Chan. He did apply for it, and given his congenial personality, I think he’d do well if he joined the creche roster.”

“A roster? That means he won’t have duty every day?” Soonyoung asks you.

“Yes, there will be two teachers alternating from Monday to Friday.”

“Oh! Someone lucky gets two days only!”

“We try to ensure even distribution through the month,” you say. “Plus, of course, there can be others volunteering from time to time. So for example, next month, there’s a storytelling week at the creche. Sohee and I will be volunteering for that week as storytellers- that way, the ones responsible for the creche can have a week’s leave from the extra duty.”

Soonyoung and Chan nod in understanding, but you’ve noticed Seokmin is extra quiet, uncharacteristically even. “Do you enjoy the cafeteria food, Seokmin-ssi?” you ask him, speaking softer so that Chan and Soonyoung can’t hear you. It must surprise him, because he looks up at you with wide, boba eyes, and he looks more like a puppy than ever. “I do! The variety is good.” “I’m glad. The caterers recently got changed. The previous ones were seriously falling behind on quality.” Seokmin smiles and eats a big bite of rice and soup, and you chuckle at the comical way his mouth fills up. 

_

You didn’t even think Seokmin would remember. In fact, you’d forgotten that you’d mentioned it yourself. 

But he does. He doesn’t just remember, but he also brings a bag full of old picture books.

You swear your heart stops the moment he enters the hall where the after-school creche is organized and hands you the bag. “These were books my mother had kept for ages even after I’d finished reading them a million times. Thought I’d use them somehow, instead of just letting them gather dust on shelves,” he says as he smiles that pretty, wide smile again. It’s been long enough into the new semester now for you to get used to both Seokmin’s smiles, so you can bask in it. The children bask in it too. Most of the tiny members of the creche know him from the class where he’s teaching about animals, and they squeal in excitement. “Aah, Seokmin-ah, you really didn’t have to. You could’ve gone home and rested for the weekend.” His smile drops, and you mentally slap yourself. You really should take care of your words better, so you rephrase it, “What I meant is… you don’t have to do this out of your way.” “I’m not… going out of my way. I just thought I’d come and watch you, sunbae. I want to learn how to handle little children even better.” 

So he sits in a corner of the hall, Byul and Jiwon sitting on his lap, while his eyes are fixed on you. You’ve taken the storytelling class two days this week, and this is your third day, so you really shouldn’t be so slippery, but something about how he’s looking at you so intently is making you stumble and fall over your words, and your pronunciation often comes out as jumbled as the three year olds sitting in front of you. You’re made even more aware of Seokmin’s presence when snack time arrives, and the kids are too distracted with the picture books to pay attention to their food and eat. Thankfully, Seokmin uses his charm and somehow gathers everyone to sit in a circle around the table. The children have incessant questions, some about the characters they met in the story, and some random questions too, like Are you married, Teacher Seokmin? It doesn’t matter that you pause in your movements to hear his response, a wide-eyed Minhyun looking confusedly at you, wondering why your hand holding his candy is stuck mid-air. It also doesn’t matter that your heart paces up when you see Seokmin glance in your direction before loudly proclaiming that he’s not married. 

The parents arrive soon after that, and then there’s only a crying Byul left, who’s wrapped in Seokmin’s arms as you three wait for her father to arrive. You wonder for a second, how did you ever handle kids, because when you see how Seokmin handles them, you think you’ve done it all wrong for years. He holds her two tiny hands in his own, places her in between his legs and quietly brushes her hair while whispering more imaginary stories about the elephant Byul saw earlier in the picture book. You feel unwanted in this perfect scene, Byul going perfectly silent as she listens to Seokmin talk. But then, honestly, who wouldn’t be in rapture of this beautiful young man?

Byul’s father arrives twenty minutes later, and Byul gives Seokmin a little peck on his cheek before she leaves his arms and goes off with her dad. 

“Sunbae, thank you for letting me be here! I had so much fun, and I also learnt so much from you.” You laugh, “I doubt, though. You’re such a natural with children.” He smiles, “That’s just because I have a lot of cousins. But it’s different handling kids at school. I always have to be extra-careful with them because I’m a complete stranger and not a relative.” “You’re right, and that shows in your care too, Seokmin-ah.” He blushes, and you smile as you lock up the hall and finally make your way to leave the campus. Your back hurts from sitting on the floor for so long and you’re surely glad to go home.

“Sunbae, did you bring your car?”

“Aah, no. Today was Sohee’s carpooling turn, she left early. I’ll just take the bus.”

“Let me drop you home, sunbae! It’s late already.”

You pause, and turn to look at him. His hopeful face, still radiant after the long day. And you feel that same overwhelming feeling take over you. Till now, Seokmin has only given and given, never expecting anything in return. He’s extended a helping hand without you asking for it, he’s reminded you for meals even when you’ve ignored him, he’s been nothing but kind to you. And if he’s doing this even after three whole months of him joining the school, then it can’t be just buttering tactics. 

“I don’t want to get you late, Seokmin-ah.”

“I won’t, sunbae. It’s not a worry, honestly.” He bites his lower lip, his eyebrows furrowed as he asks you again, “Please let me drop you, sunbae.”

It’s been years since a man has been this kind to you. Kind enough without coming off as a creep. A part of you is wary, but something in Seokmin’s eyes makes you feel guilty for ever mistrusting his intentions. 

“Alright, Seokmin-ah. Noona owes you one.” 

You can see the stutter in his eyes even before you hear it in his voice. 

“N-noona? Oh. Noona! I’ll drive you safely!”

And he does. Diligent, puppy-like, kind Seokmin drives you home quickly and safely. For the first time in years, you sleep with a smile on your face.

_

You enter the Principal’s office to find a very nervous-looking Seokmin standing next to the Principal. “Good Morning, Mr. Han. Is something wrong?” “Yes, good morning Y/N. I’ve just received a complaint from a parent, and as the head of science teachers, I’d like you to look into it once.” “Of course.”

Then you turn towards Seokmin, who is standing very upright, but you can see him nervously twitching his feet. “Seokmin-ssi, is the parent here in school, or have you received a written complaint?” Seokmin’s voice is barely audible the first time he speaks, so you take a couple of steps to be closer to him. “Don’t be so nervous. Please tell me everything so that I can help resolve this.” He looks at you, his eyes still wide, and the tension obvious in his face. But he takes a deep breath and says, “They’re here, in my science classroom.” “And can you tell me the gist of the matter?” “I… I… I had asked her daughter to not draw with crayons on the walls of the science classroom. And one time… I’d asked her daughter to bring more nutritious food to class instead of chips every single day.” He says softly, his eyes focused on the blue linoleum tiles on the floor. You take a deep breath. As you’ve grown more senior, you’ve eventually detached yourself from the classes of the youngest students, those below four years of age. So naturally, you’d not gotten into messes like this for a long time. But with your experience, you know just how to deal with such cases. 

So you excuse yourself from the office and walk down to Seokmin’s homeroom, gesturing him to enter as you both walk into the classroom. It is deserted, except for a very grim-looking gigantic woman standing next to a tiny girl with even tinier braids. “Good morning. I’m Y/L/N Y/N, Head of the Science Department.” “Yes, well, I’m hoping you’d be more competent about it all rather than Mr. Lee here.” 

You forcefully smile tightly and ask, “Please let me know the details of the matter.” “Where do I begin! Mr. Lee has been… very dictatorial with my daughter. First he forbids her from colouring, and then he forces her to starve herself! It’s absolutely ridiculous that a teacher can do such things!” Out of the corner of your eye, you see Seokmin shrink further away into the corner, his eyes wide. 

“Based on how well I know Mr. Lee, I can’t imagine him forcing a child to starve themselves. Correct me if I’m wrong, but did he ask her to bring a different set of food for lunch, rather than chips?” “Yes, but-” “And that was purely based on nutritional concerns, Ma’am. As teachers at Sebong Elementary School, we want to ensure our students receive proper nutrition at their growing age. And I can assure you that chips are not the most nutritious food your daughter can eat every day.” “I’m a working mother-” “I’m sure you can buy a fruit or toast a single slice of bread along with a slice of cheese along with the chips, if you’re so busy.” 

 The woman in front of you stands speechless for a second, before continuing in her boisterous tone, “But who are you to dictate what I feed my child?” “Nobody, truly. But Mr. Lee is a kindhearted man, who cares for every child in this school, and even his colleagues and peers like me. As a teacher, he has the best interest of his students in mind, you see.” “Certainly can’t be more than that of her mother.” “Of course, which is why I’d advise you too, as would any other paediatrician, that only chips is not the diet a four-year old child should be exposed to on a daily basis.” 

The woman takes a step back. Her grip on her daughter’s fingers loosen, and the child takes a step forward. “Miss, I really like the grapes Mr. Lee gave me the other day! That’s why I’ve stopped eating Eomma’s lunch!” She smiles at you, and you bend down on your knee to meet her at eye level. “Is that so? But darling, you should always eat what your mummy’s giving you. Good girls don’t skip meals, understood?” She nods her little head very seriously, so you pat her once on her head. Then you stand up again and look at her mother. “I see your daughter does enjoy eating grapes. Perhaps you could buy her some fruits for lunch.”

She tilts her head a little bit, looking fully like a kid who’s been punished for being too outspoken, and honestly you’re glad to have made that effect. Some people can be so entitled and so rude, and it leaves such a harsh impression on softer teachers like Seokmin. Which is exactly what you see when the parent does leave with her child a few minutes later, as the man, who hasn’t spoken a single word since entering the room, comes up to you gingerly. 

“Noona, thank you so much. I was so- so scared.” You smile at him as warmly as you can, “Please don’t be. It wasn’t your fault at all that some parents can misunderstand even the best intentions of teachers. It’s pretty common- as time goes on, people will just find more flaws, whether it be in your teaching skills or your child-handling skills. You just need to be less nervous when things like this happen. If you ever need help in these things, of course I’m always here… as are your other seniors. But it’s best if you learn to handle these things without taking them too much to your heart, unless you see there is genuine room for improvement for you.” He nods throughout, and his eyes have become round like a puppy’s eyes again. “I will introspect, Noona.” He laughs a bit, “This honestly isn’t the first time someone’s misunderstanding my intentions. But I will try harder to be more clear and not … not be presumptuous,” he says, looking deep into your eyes, before he bows and leaves the room.

As you stand there in the classroom, alone you realise that the situation oddly reminds you of a similar conversation you had with him at the beginning of the semester. When you’d asked him to keep his distance and not interfere … all while, he was just trying to be kind. Oh god. You’d been just as rude as the parent had been today, hadn’t you? Oh dear god. No wonder he’d looked so downcast and rejected after that.

_

Sohee’s thousand-day anniversary at the school is coming up so Minseo’s put on a surprise party at her house. It’s not a surprise to just Sohee, but also to you. “Oh, why didn’t you let me know earlier, Minseo-yah?” “We would, but you’ve just been so busy with the end of term reports and grades that we didn’t want to bother you.” “Well, that’s not something only I’m doing. I’m sure you all were busy too.” “But none of us are head of departments, you know?” She giggles, and you know it’s not a jibe. But it still feels bad to not be able to contribute when everyone is contributing in some way or the other. 

So you order a six-pound blueberry cheesecake for the party, knowing blueberry to be Sohee’s favourite flavour. And, as expected, it’s a party hit. It turns out to be the favourite flavour of a lot of people, even Seokmin, who helps himself to three slices, and you’re just glad to see them all enjoying it. There’s drinks, pizza and music playing in the background. And although the teacher community at Sebong Elementary School is not too big, you’re a lot of twenty-six people, and you’re thankful that Minseo comes from a rich family that has a big house. And yet, it feels cosy and familiar. You barely attend parties or social gatherings,  and unless it’s family occasions, having been out of the dating scene for years. But this type of party seems fun to you- perhaps it’s you growing old, perhaps it’s you no longer finding staying up late exciting, perhaps it’s you realising that getting wasted is not as interesting as you used to think it was in college. So you settle for being the woman who’s dressed in a sweater although it’s barely autumn, already mentally classified as a spinster for almost everyone you meet, thirty and with no life outside of work, and you’re happy. You’re happy right now, sipping a cocktail and eating the fried chicken Minseo’s airfrying and constantly supplying to the party, celebrating your closest friend, Sohee. You know that although Sohee’s a couple of months younger than you, and definitely has a more active love life, she’s just like you at heart, and she’s the sister you’ve never had. As she gets drunk (you can tell it’s the first time in a long time by the way she’s getting tipsy even faster than she usually does), she leans over to smooch you loudly on the cheek, and you laugh and give in to her. It creates a loud wave of cheers across the room, but it’s such a warm moment. She clinks her glass with yours and rests her head on your shoulder, while raising a toast to the teachers at Sebong Elementary School. There’s another round of cheers, and then your phone reminds you it’s ten pm, and you should be heading home because it’s a school day tomorrow. The buzz feels good, and you want to stay longer, but you’re not drunk enough to forget your responsibilities. And so the party gradually disperses. You hug Minseo and thank her for organising the wonderful party, and somehow Sohee manages to stand up on her feet steadily. Seungkwan takes the duty to drop Sohee home as he lives near her house, and before you can say anything, Seokmin takes on the responsibility of dropping you home. 

“I don’t want to impose-” “But I insist, Y/N Noona.” “Why do you always insist, Seokmin? I feel like I’m a burdensome sunbae, not a nice sunbae.” You try not to pout when he leads you to where his car is parked and opens the door for you. He giggles, his face red with the dopamine (and drinks) from the party. “You’re just fishing for compliments, Noona. You know I never think of taking care of you as a burden.” 

Perhaps drinking that third cocktail was a mistake. 

But you did drink it, so you lean over the centre console of the car and say, with a soft giggle, “If you say things like that, Seokmin-ah, people are going to misunderstand and think you like like me.”

“But I do like like you, Noona.” 

You almost miss his words while waving goodbye to the other teachers standing on the pavement in front of Minseo’s house, waiting for their rides. 

Almost. 

“What?” You spin your head so fast it gives you whiplash, and you feel like you’re instantly sober, the way you become alert instantly. Seokmin’s looking at the road as he drives into the main road, his eyes bright by reflecting the street lights. “I do, Noona.”

“No- no, you can’t. Are you serious, Seokmin-ah? Because if you are, you can’t.” 

“Why?” 

There’s a red light, and he’s looking at you, the street lights shining on his face and the gentle handsomeness of his features are glowing in their full glory. This isn’t the first time you’ve found him awe-strikingly beautiful, but right now, he looks positively angelic. His eyelashes form delicate shadows on his cheeks, and the way his hair gets swayed by the wind coming in from the open car windows makes him seem even prettier. 

“Because… you’re so… young. And fresh, and beautiful. And I’m thirty, I spend my days working and my nights reading romantic classics, and I’m so boring a-and you deserve better.”

His mouth twists bitterly, and he says, “But none of that is true, Noona.”

“It is, Seokmin-ah. You barely know me.”

“But I want to. I’m just asking for a chance.”

You stay silent for a long time. In the sparse traffic of the night, you’re reach your house quicker than you’d thought. 

“I don’t want you to make a mistake, Seokmin-ah. I shouldn’t be someone you like more than simply as a sunbae.”

He pauses, then replies, “If you don’t want to give me a chance, that��s okay Noona. I can make peace with it. But you can’t ask me to stop liking you, Noona. My feelings are mine.” 

You don’t say anything on the rest of the journey. You don’t have anything else to say. You can’t even be harsh to him because what he’s saying is logical. You cannot take away his right to like you, even if you don’t think it’s the right choice for him. You’re an adult, he’s an adult, you both have your own opinions and choices. 

It’s only when the car does reach your house that you attempt to say something. 

“I feel sorry for making you come all the way to my house to drop me. Do you want to come in to eat something? I had some dakgalbi made for tonight’s dinner before I got to know about the party.”

He looks at you for a long time. You can see the wheels turn in his head, before he says, “Okay.” 

_

Your flat is on the third floor, so you’re patiently climbing the stairs. Seokmin makes light conversation, breaking the ice, and you actively try to respond. You don’t want him to feel dejected, but you also don’t want to feel like you’re taking him to your house because you pity him after you outright rejected him. 

Your efforts go to waste when you see a figure sitting on the floor in front of the door to your apartment. 

“Hyungwon?” 

Seokmin pauses behind you, as you stand stunned on the last staircase before the landing, and the man you addressed looks up at the two of you. Even in the dim light of the single bulb lighting up the stairwell, you can see that he’s very wasted. “Y/N-ah! I- I’ve been waiting for you.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you haven’t changed, have you? Straight to the point. No hellos, no-”

“Yes, Hyungwon. What are you doing here?”

He sighs as he stands up. “I missed you.” 

Your head starts to spin. It’s like you’ve been transported back to 2022, when Hyungwon had confessed to you that he’d gambled away all your money, and that he’d been doing so for the last seven months, and that was where he was spending all his evenings at instead of the evening college you’d enrolled him into and whose fees you thought you’d been paying.

Your head spins again, and you’re stumbling back until someone catches you midway before you tumble down the stairs. 

“Noona!” that someone whispers in alarm in your ear, and you realise it’s Seokmin. 

Fuck. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, not Seokmin. 

Why does Seokmin, out of all people, have to see this?

“Seokmin-ah, leave-”

“Ooh, who’s that?” Hyungwon takes a step closer, and takes a drink out of a soju bottle he’s holding in his left hand. “Boyfriend? You’re still into pretty boys, aren’t you?”

Seokmin pulls you closer to him, your back nearly touching his chest. “Who are you?”

“I’m Hyungwon, Y/N’s first love. You better get out of here, kid.”

“What do you want, Hyungwon? Don’t bullshit with me about missing me. No apology, no regrets, and now you’re suddenly at my doorstep?” You carefully break away from Seokmin’s gentle clasp, and walk towards your ex-boyfriend. “You want my money again.” The lanky man in front of you grins, that fucking lazy, pretty grin you’d fallen so hard for in college. 

“Y/N, where’s the love gone, jagi? Why are we talking about money?”

“Fuck off, Hyungwon. The love was gone long before I even broke up with you.”

He lifts his free hand and tries to reach out to you. “Jagiya-”

“I’m not your jagiya! Hyungwon, I’m not giving you anymore money, so you should just leave! And stop coming to me every time you want money, for god’s sake! We’re done, Hyungwon.” 

The man in front of you falls to his knees, “Please, I’m begging you, Y/N-ah! I’ll get into serious trouble if I don’t repay this debt by the end of this month! Y/N, for the sake of old times-”

“Hyungwon, please don’t! I’m not giving you any of my money, no matter how much you beg.”

His hand wraps around your leg, “Y/N-ah, please, just hear me out once! I am sorry for everything I did, and I’m so willing to amend my ways-”

“Please leave, Hyungwon-ssi, you’re making Noona uncomfortable.” Seokmin suddenly says from behind you, and you walk backward down the stairs until you’re again close enough to him that you can feel his body heat on your back. It makes you feel oddly safe.

“Who are you to say anything about Y/N, huh? You don’t even know her for long, I bet! Y/N and I dated for seven years!”

“It doesn’t matter how long I’ve known her, Hyungwon-ssi. What matters is that right now, she feels safe with me, and not around you. So please leave, Hyungwon-ssi.” You don’t even realise when his hands have come to wrap gently around you, not quite touching your body, but caging you away from the man who’s looking at you both with frantic and desperate eyes. You don’t know he knows that you’re feeling safe around him, but you’re so grateful. “If you don’t leave now, I’ll have to call the police, Hyungwon-ssi.”

The man in front of you gulps. “Fuck! I’ll be back, Y/N-ah. And then I’ll see where this boyfriend of yours will be!” And he storms down the stairs, cursing under his breath, and you’re still shaking in Seokmin’s grip. 

Five minutes pass before he asks you, gently whispering in your ear, “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” You slowly turn around and face him. You’re awfully close to him, and as you stand on the higher staircase, you’re eye-to-eye with him. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, Seokmin-ah.”

“No, Noona. I’m just upset thinking of what would happen if I hadn’t come up with you here tonight.”

“No, don’t be. He’s… harmless. He’s all talk and no action.”

“Has he been here before?”

You bite your lip. You don’t want to tell him things which will involve him deeper into this. He doesn’t know anything, he’s a complete stranger to it all, and yet, he is right, you do feel safe around him. But that doesn’t mean you burden him any further.

“Seokmin-ah, I don’t want you to get worried about this. I can take care of myself, it’s just Hyungwon. Like I said, he’s only bark and no bite.”

“Noona-”

“I’ll be fine, honestly! I’m sorry you had to see all this happen.” 

He opens his mouth to say something, but then he becomes silent again. 

“Do you want to come in-”

“No, Noona. I’ll just leave. I won’t take any more of your time. Have a good night, Noona.”

“Seokmin-ah, pl-”

“Goodnight, Noona. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And then he walks away, and you’re left there, unarmed, uneasy and all alone, swimming in your own thoughts. You feel like you should run after him like in the movies, and stop him from leaving, but your legs feel like lead. There’s a sinking feeling in your heart and a sense of emergency, and it’s not because your ex-boyfriend came up to your door asking for money to waste again.

_

You don’t go to school the next day. The day after that is a Saturday, thankfully a holiday, and you can spend a day moping in regret, stuffing popcorn into your face and pretending like you’re not an adult anymore and you can live without worrying about responsibilities and keep time standing still. 

It doesn’t work. 

Sohee arrives to your door on Sunday morning, sunglasses perched on her head. “Where have you been, sweetie?” She doesn’t wait for you to respond and shoves herself into your flat. 

“Nowhere, Sohee.”

“You’re pouting, your bed isn’t made, and I can smell caramel popcorn. Something’s up. Tell me, baby.”

She sits down on the couch, pulling you down next to her, and taps twice on your shoulder prompting you to spill. So you do spill. 

You tell her every thought that has crossed your mind these last 48 hours. How Seokmin confessed that he likes you. How you’d turned him down instantly. How Hyungwon had turned up at your door and ruined the night after the party. How you’d practically shooed Seokmin away although he’d been nothing but protective and helpful to you. How you’d wallowed in regrets since then, having realised that you’re such a coward. 

“Yeah, you are a coward. In what right mind would you turn down Seokmin when you’re so down bad for him?”

“Huh?”

“Dummy. You can’t even realise your own feelings, and you act like you’re so mature. Age is truly just a number,” she sighs before digging into your bowl of popcorn. 

“I don’t… I don’t have feelings for Seokmin.”

“What makes you think so?”

“He’s… he’s just a hoobae.”

“So are Chan and Soonyoung and Seungkwan. Why do you always blush when you talk to Seokmin, even if it’s over something as mundane as lunch? Why do you so often go to his classroom and aid him in his lessons during your free periods, even though he doesn’t necessarily ask for it? Why do you talk more to him than to your other hoobaes?”

You stay silent for a second. 

“Y/N-ah, think carefully about this.”

“I shouldn’t think of him in this light… he’s so much younger.”

“You’re just three years older than him, Y/N! Stop acting like you’re so old!”

“But…”

“Oh fuck, this isn’t about age, is it? You feel like you’re going to be to him what Hyungwon became to you? Predatory?”

You’re left silent again. Sohee understands from your (lack of) actions, and jumps across the couch to hug you. “Oh, Y/N-ah. Stop beating yourself up for that. It’s been so, so long. Stop blaming yourself for something that’s not even your fault.” 

“But Seokmin deserves better, don’t you think?”

“And you deserve better than beating yourself over an ex like Hyungwon. You deserve a second chance at love too, baby.” She hugs you tightly, and you don’t know when tears have started rolling down your cheek.“I’m a coward, Sohee. I can’t get the courage to even accept my feelings.” “Then let Seokmin help you. Honestly, with the way he always looks at you like you spin his earth and you’re his god, I don’t think he’ll have any issues waiting for you to realise your feelings.” You blush and hide your face in her neck at her sly words. She’s too outspoken for her own good. 

“What if it’s just a crush for him, that’ll pass soon? There’s not much about me that will keep him interested in me after a few months.”

“You’ve got to stop being so pessimistic. Again, just because one guy was stupid and decided to rip off your hard-earned money and your blind trust in him, doesn’t mean another guy will! I’ll say it again, you deserve a second chance!”

The doorbell rings right then. You get up to open the door, to find a letter on the doormat. 

“It’s from the local police station.” You pick it up and show Sohee, who’s equally confounded as you are. “Well, open it, girl!” 

It’s a letter stating a level one restraining order has been requested for your protection against Chae Hyungwon, who has repeatedly disturbed you while drunk, and demanded money for illegal gambling purposes. 

And the request has been made from Lee Seokmin.

“So you just have to sign it and that’s it? Hyungwon out from your life forever?”

You nod, unable to reply, you’re still shocked by the letter. So is Sohee, it seems. Because all she can manage is, “Wow. Y/N, you’ve gotta marry him.”

“Who?!”

“Seokmin, of course. If this is his level of devotion-”

“You don’t think this was unnecessary?”

“Y/N, are you for real? He’s literally looking out for you and doing what you should’ve done ages back, and you think he’s overstepping boundaries? He’s one gem of a person seeing that he’s doing all this without even you prompting him and even after you literally rejected his confession.”

You take a deep breath. She’s right. She’s so right that your heart hurts and you want to bend down on your knees because your body feels limp. How much more does Seokmin have to give you for you to be able to start giving back to him? One voice in your head chastises you. Love isn’t quid pro quo! You fight back. Fair. But at least you’ve started admitting it is love. The voice laughs at you, leaving you vulnerable. 

“Well, he said yes.”

“What?” You spin your head to look at Sohee who’s holding your phone in her hand. 

“Seokmin. He said he’ll meet you at the park near school. In about an hour.”

“Did you just text him from my phone?”

“I did, for your own good. Because if it were up to you, you would have overthought yourself into a hole you’d dig for yourself and not made a move at all even when he’s literally played all his cards and proved his commitment.”

“Aishh, you’re so annoying,” you playfully shove her. 

“Your annoying friend just wants to see you happy,” she pouts cutely, and you laugh at the face she’s making. 

“Okay, now go get dressed. You have to finish this game now, Y/N. I’ll drop you to the park.”

_

When Sohee drops you a little far away from the park, kissing your forehead and wishing you fighting!, you find Seokmin already sitting on a bench on a relatively empty side of the park. He looks up at you as you get closer, and you wave at him. You feel so timid, so nervous, just walking up to him, his handsomeness hitting you with full force as you see him in more casual clothes than ever before, knowing that this man, this beautiful man likes you. And he wants you, and he’s proved how far he can go to care for you, even when you’ve rejected his care.

“Noona, how are you? We were worried after you called your day off on Friday.”

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t sick or anything.” You laugh awkwardly. “Just, taking some time to ponder over things myself.”

“Oh.” He sits down on the bench, the loose end of his checked shirt gently swaying in the breeze. 

“And I regret how I acted that night. I’m sorry for being so harsh-” he starts to say something, but you gently put a finger on his hand, and that makes him shush. “I’m not just talking about Thursday night. I’ve been harsh to you ever since the beginning of the year. You’ve been nothing but kind and generous to me. But… time has made me unnaturally wary and I find it so hard to accept attention or even kindness easily. Thus, time and again I’ve pushed you away, yet you’ve kept coming back. It’s true that I didn’t realise your intentions earlier, but I know, deep down in my heart, that I’ve liked you too for quite some time.”

His eyes are wide, and you move an inch closer to him on the bench.

“I thought it was silly, to have a crush on a man so obviously young like you. I’m thirty now, turning thirty-one in a few weeks. I’ll always be older than you, less energetic, more boring and to be honest, I think it’s not even age but just experience which has made me like this. And I denied myself your attention because I thought you deserved better. And I still do. You sent a restraining request to the police on my ex-boyfriend on my behalf. You… you’ve gone out of your way so many times, even when I’ve been so harsh with you. You’re the one who’s precious, you’re made out of stardust. I’m just a broccoli that’s stacked in the corner of the fridge because no one wanted to eat me when I was fresh and no one should eat me now because now I’m stale.”

“That’s a ridiculous comparison. Even Soonyoung comparing himself to a tiger is better than you comparing yourself to a broccoli.” He finally says, and you laugh before you realise it. 

“Stop calling yourself old, Noona. Three years of an age difference isn’t a big deal. If the reason you’re holding yourself back is Hyungwon-ssi…”

“It is, I won’t lie. Hyungwon and I started dating when we were in college. We were so good, for so long. Until the pandemic came and took his job. That’s when he started getting into these bad habits. He took to gambling, and to stop him, I enrolled him into an evening college, hoping he’d get more productive and use the time we were stuck at home to get himself more educated and get a better job soon. It turned out he was wasting all my money on gambling, again. Every fees I’d paid to him had actually gone down the drain at a local club. And he even had the audacity to refuse me when I told him I want to break up with him.”

“Well, but he eventually did. That didn’t stop him from coming to my doorstep ever three or four months, asking for cash. Sometimes I’d drive him away, sometimes I’d give in if I was too tired to argue with him and if he was sober and dangerous.”

“Would you have given him money that night… had I not been there?”

You look down at your hands in shame. “I may have. I don’t know.”

“Do you still have feelings for him, Noona? It’s okay if you do have feelings, you know.”

“God, no. I don’t have feelings for him. It’s just that… we were together for seven years. We’ve grown up together. Seeing him in a pitiful state like that makes me sad. And I hope each time, that this will be the last time he’s at my door asking for money.” You look away, too ashamed to look at Seokmin. But he uses a hand to gently grip your chin and turn your head towards him. 

“You’re too kind for your own good, Noona.” You blush at the proximity, and the gentle way he’s touching your face. “This is why I like you. Because you’re so human in a world where everyone is plastic. I don’t like you because you’re a sunbae I want to impress. I don’t like you because boys like me find older women hot. Well, I do find you hot-”

“Seokmin!” You haven’t heard someone call you hot in so long, and it makes your skin burn. 

He giggles, and slowly flattens his palm to cup your cheek. 

“I think the restraining order should do the trick, then. He’ll not harass you any longer.”

“Thank you. You’ve been brave when I’ve been a coward.”

“That’s what makes us a good team, Noona.” 

You finally make eye contact with him, gazing into his doe-like brown eyes which are crinkled at the edges with a hint of a smile and wide with hope. 

“Your eyes are so pretty, Seokmin-ah. Just like the rest of you. Especially your heart.”

“It’s pretty because it belongs to you, Noona.”

You blush harder, and turn your face away from him. “I’ll not like you any more if you’re cheesy like this.”

“But it feels good to make you blush like this. How dare you compare yourself to a broccoli, huh? You have no idea what you do to me- when you enter any room, you light it up with your aura, you make it so much warmer, so much brighter. And then a fucking broccoli?”

“Stop! I didn’t mean it to be so deep. It’s just what I ate for lunch because that’s all I had in my fridge.” He giggles again, and you giggle along with him. You realise you’ve both moved closer to each other on the bench, until your thighs are touching. 

“Then you’ve got to have lunch again. No one should exist by eating just broccoli.” 

“With you?”

“If you’d like that.” He cups your other cheek with another hand, and you can feel your skin on fire. His eyes are gently inching towards your lips so you slowly close your eyes. “If you’re going to kiss me, know that I don’t have much experience in that. I’ll be your hoobae in that regard, sunbae.” You hear a soft giggle, and the kiss doesn’t arrive, so you open your eyes again, just to see him blush all over. “God, you’re so pretty, Noona. I could look at you all day.”

“How about you tell me when you started liking me?”

“Umm, I think that time you came to eat lunch with us for the first time? I think it all started with me just trying to get you to eat meals on time. Good girls don’t skip meals, as I heard someone once say,” you playfully hit his chest lightly, and he laughs. “I don’t know, maybe it was before that. But that afternoon, I realised my crush on you was so serious. I was getting tingly all over every time our shoulders touched.”

“Oh! Well, thank goodness it wasn’t just me.”

“Really? From so long ago? Oh, Noona, if you’d just told me earlier…”

“Shh!” You giggle, “I didn’t even realise anything. I was just desperate to get you to forgive me.”

“But I was never angry at you. I could never be.”

You smile again, and he pulls you closer until your entire body is touching him. “So are you giving me a chance, Noona?” 

“Yes. I like you, Lee Seokmin, and I’m still shocked that you like me, after everything you’ve had to see.”

“Well, I do. I like you so much that I might be seeing stars over your head every time you come into my line of sight.”

You giggle again, your insides turning to mush. “Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N Noona?” His voice is, oh, so soft, like a melody. And his eyes so earnest, like an autumn leaf. “I’d be very honoured to, Seokmin-ah.” “May I kiss you?” You feel yourself getting red with anticipation as you quietly nod your consent. 

And so he kisses you. Like your very own Prince Charming, he kisses you, one hand on the back of your neck, and the other cupping onto your cheek, first gentle and slow, and then a little more passionate, as you pull him closer by holding on to his slender waist. “Fuck, Noona. You taste so sweet,” he says while taking a breath, and then attacks your face all over by placing tiny pecks all over your nose, cheeks and forehead. “I like you so much, I think I might die from it.” You laugh once again at his words, unable to say anything else because he’s effectively shut you up through his incessant kisses. When he finally moves his face away from yours, his 1000 watt signature smile bright on his face, you say to him, “Not before we have lunch together, though.”

a/n: read the stories of the other three boys here! lmk your thoughts <3

tagging: kokoiinuts

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Miller's Christmas Tree Farm

Part One - Driving home for Christmas

Summary: Wanting a fresh start after your husband died, you and your nine year old Step Daughter Ellie move from San Francisco to Noel, a small town in Colorado where you, looking for a job are found by Tommy Miller, who offers you a place to stay and a new job at his family owned Christmas Tree Farm that is in dire need of some fresh ideas to make some money. There is only one problem, his brother Joel Miller, who, judging by the google reviews of the Christmas Tree farm, is an asshole. But you like a challenge. And Joel? Joel can only try to pretend to be grumpy for so long until he finally realises that you might just be what he needed.

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader

Rating: G

Wordcount: 3.4k

Warnings: no outbreak AU, major Hallmark movie vibes, fluff, working through grief and heartbreak, character death, a lot of Christmas planning, a Husky called Edward (after Edward Cullen)

Co- written with @jennaispunk 💜

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

Full Masterlist // Joel Miller Masterlist // Miller's Christmas Tree Farm Masterlist

“So you’ll start on Monday?” Tommy was looking at you with a bright smile. 

You were new to town and looking for a new challenge. 

Which apparently came in the form of Tommy Miller.

He had overheard you talking to the lady at the bakery that you were looking for a job, as he waited behind you in line.

And Tommy not only had a job but a place to stay. A small apartment on his brother's farm that would need some work, the kitchen having to be remodelled. 

For you and your Step Daughter Ellie.

You needed a fresh start, having lost your husband, her dad, in an accident at the beginning of the year. An accident that almost took Ellie from you too, with her being in the car with him. This year had been the most difficult one of your life. Taking care of Ellie had become your sole focus, even more that it already had. The hospital stay, physical therapy and countless doctor appointments had taken its toll on you, physically and emotionally, but it had made you realise how much you’d come to love Ellie and what was really important. 

It took months for her to get better and once she was she asked you if you could live somewhere where there’s snow. 

Which led you to this tiny town in the middle of nowhere. Far away from the big city of San Francisco. You weren’t cut out for city life. You were like most small town kids, convinced that there was something better out there in the big city. You left for college with big dreams but those same dreams faded into a reality that was cold, harsh and nothing liked you’d envisioned. As the years flew by you found yourself longing for the quiet of a small town, like the one you grew up in, one where you really knew your neighbours and you could count on them if you needed a hand. You’re mother had been right all along. 

Tommy did not give you any red flags. He let you ask as many questions as you wanted and after an hour you felt like you had known him all your life. 

Sure, moving in with a him and a man you had not met yet on a farm outside of town could be a recipe for disaster. But continuing to pay for the hotel until you found a place to stay would end in bankruptcy for you so… you chose to trust Tommy. 

And you were about 98% sure he and his brother weren’t axe murderers. 

That all the people around you greeted Tommy with a warm smile was a plus too. 

He and his brother were known all over town, he couldn’t be an axe murderer, right?

“I’m excited. Are you sure it’s going to be okay with your brother?” you asked and Tommy hummed, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. 

“Let Joel be my problem. We need help. The last two years worked somehow but we need… He needs a bit of fresh air. Even if he doesn’t see it this way yet. It also helps that he’s my brother and his only remaining family so…. Yeah. It's gonna be fine,” Tommy winked. 

He also told you that you could just stay for a trial week or two and if you didn’t like it you could still get back to the hotel or he would personally help find you a new place to stay. When you asked him if his brother would be okay with a child staying in his home he assured you that he would be okay. 

He might need a couple days to warm up to her and you, but he wasn’t a monster. He was just…. A grumpy asshole. His words, not yours. 

“You sound awfully sure of yourself,” you chuckled, taking a sip from the tea he had ordered for you after inviting you to the cafe.

“Joel is…. All bite but no teeth. He’s… a little rough and… complicated but I think you can handle him. Plus deep down he’s a softie, but don’t tell him I said that.”

“You’ve known me for an hour, how would you know that I can handle him?” you asked with a laugh. 

“I just do,” he shrugged, emptying his cup of coffee. 

You huffed a laugh. 

“All right. I’ll be there at 9 tomorrow after breakfast. I already have a few ideas. I mean, selling Christmas Trees? On a Farm? With this much snow? Sounds like a dream to be honest. I’m thinking snowman building competitions and a… snow maze…. Or something like that.”

“I think you’re just what we needed. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tommy smiled and got up from his seat. He got into his thick jacket, putting his hat and gloves on.

“Thank you for the tea. And… for the job and place to stay?” you smiled, standing up and taking his outstretched hand to shake it. 

“Let’s see if you’ll be thanking me once you meet Joel,” he winked and you rolled your eyes. 

“I will,” you smiled and he chuckled, nodding once before he turned around and left you to finish your tea. 

Already plotting ideas in your mind, how to help Miller’s Christmas Trees out of the red numbers. 

“Come on, get the damn ball,” Joel nodded towards the ball he had just thrown, Edward, his trusty Husky just stared at him in disinterest. 

Sarah had named him, being in her Twilight phase before she… he took a deep breath, looking up at the sky. He remembered it like it was yesterday. They had been out in the woods, Sarah collecting pine cones. They were on their way back home when she changed the direction, having heard something. 

And she did. A tiny husky puppy hiding against a tree. 

Joel did not think it would survive the night, but once Sarah had put her mind to something….

Edward looked at Joel and looked as if he was sighing, making Joel roll his eyes. 

“Stubborn dog,” Joel grumbled to himself, before he nodded towards the truck, making Edward get up slowly before he jumped up on the open hood. He closed the back and leaned against the truck, looking up into the darkening sky. 

It smelled like snow.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. 

Joel would never admit it, but he was scared this would be the last winter he spend here. On this farm where he had spent so much time of his life at. 

He came here almost fifteen years ago when Sarah was born and his parents were still alive. It had been easier to have some help with a new born while his wife had left them without a word.

His father had made a name out of this farm. 

Miller’s Christmas Trees. 

And Joel had tried in the last years to keep it as best as he could but…. After his father and mother died and shortly after Sarah died…. Something inside of him died too. 

At this point he didn’t even know how his life would look if he wasn’t here. 

He heard his phone ring and he muttered to himself before he jumped into the truck, seeing Tommy’s name light up on his phone. 

“Yes?” he barked.

“Hello sunshine. Come home. I made dinner,” his brother said.

“You sound like my wife,” Joel joked.

“Ha Ha. That would require you getting out to actually meet a woman. Get your ass here. I have…. News.”

“I don’t like your kind of news.”

“You are not going to like this one either.”

“Great,” Joel groaned and ended the call before he started the truck.

Joel knew something was up, but the longer he sat at the table, his favourite dish cooked by his brother Tommy sitting on the table, the more suspicious he got. 

“So,” Tommy began, after he had sipped on his beer. 

Joel only raised his left eyebrow. 

“I hired someone to help us out at the farm. She’s starting on Monday and she’ll live with her daughter in the apartment on the other side of the house.“

Joel tilted his head at his brother, processing the words he just heard. 

“And you did not think I should have a say in this?” Joel asked after a while, irritated. 

“What would you have said?”

“No! Of course I would have said no you annoying little…” Joel’s fingers rubbed frustrated between his eyes, already feeling a headache approaching. 

Tommy rolled his eyes as he watched his brother scowling at him. 

“See? This is why I didn’t ask you. She just moved here from the city with her stepdaughter and is staying at the inn. She was looking for a job and we kind of had one.”

“We can not pay anyone. You know about this,” Joel stressed. Deep down he knew they needed… something to help get the farm back on track but he was out of ideas and more importantly, money. 

“She agreed to work for a place to stay and food.”

Joel frowned. 

“Why would someone do that?”

Tommy shrugged. 

“Did you check at all who this woman is? Maybe she’s running from something or the police are searching for her.”

“Of course I ran a fucking check on her after I got back you idiot. Who do you think I am? She’s been living in San Francisco for the last ten years, married for six of those years. Husband died earlier this year in a car accident that almost killed her Step Daughter too,” Tommy said and Joel’s expression fell, his heart breaking for you. 

“Joel. We need help. I don’t want this to be the last winter this place exists. And you’re not really…” Tommy searched for the right words “known to be the festive type anymore.”

“I put on Christmas lights last year,” Joel grumbled.

“I am not talking about the decoration, though this has to change too. We sell Christmas Trees, it should look more festive around here.I am talking about whatever your face is doing when you talk to people.”

Joel rolled his eyes. 

“I am perfectly nice to people.”

Tommy laughed. 

“In your own… way you might be but you don’t like people.”

“Who does?”

“People tend to notice it when you look like you want to murder them when they ask you if you could help chop down a tree.”

“They didn’t pay for it. And they didn’t want to pay for it either, what was I supposed to do? Work for free?”

“They were in their eighties, Joel! Be nice for a change! You do want to save this farm, don’t you? It’s what she have wanted. Sarah was happy here,” Tommy said.

„Don’t,“ Joel warned him and Tommy sighed. 

Joel took a deep breath. 

“Then at least listen to the woman. She not only has ideas for Christmas but all around the year. And she did some PR work back in San Francisco. So she should know what she’s doing.”

Tommy got up from his seat to grab another beer, getting one for Joel too. 

“And try to at least be nice when she gets here. Maybe…. Tame whatever is going on with that beard and hair so you do not look like you live in the woods.”

“Fuck you, I am living in the woods,” Joel called after him, hearing Tommy laugh. 

“Love you too, asshole.”

Practically abandoning your whole life and starting over in a tiny town where everyone seems to know everyone was not an easy decision, but it was looking more and more like the best decision you ever made. 

You had been here for four weeks and you were already loving the small town life once again.  

The baker already knew you by name, the barista always grabbed your favourite tea when you came in, the owner of the inn you were staying at, shared town gossip with you. Which was why you were excited to tell her that you got a job and a place to stay at Miller’s farm. You did not miss the surprised look on her face. 

“You are gonna work at Joel’s?” she asked, seemingly in disbelief. 

“I mean yes? He does not know about it yet, but Tommy assured me he will handle it.”

The inn owner, Donna, an elderly lady sighed. You were sitting with her in the big kitchen that was open for everyone who stayed at the inn to use, a mug of hot chocolate in front of you. 

Ellie had went herself upstairs a little while ago, wanting to read. She had started school at the beginning of the week and already joined a book club. It made you feel better knowing that she was settling into this new life you were trying to build so far away from everything you both had known before. 

“Tommy is a good man,” she said with a fond smile on her lips.

“What do you know about the farm? And the owner?”

She sighed. 

“Ernesto, Joel’s father came to town almost 20 years ago. He came here from Texas. The farm had been abandoned for many years but he restored it. He was a good man, Ernesto Miller.”

“What happened? To the farm?”

“Ernesto died of cancer almost five years ago. I don’t think Joel ever really worked through his grief. He changed a lot in the last couple years. But he decided to stay and take over the farm. But… It’s not working.”

“Why do you think it’s not working?” you ask. 

Donna chuckled. 

“You haven’t met Joel yet,” she said and you shook your head. 

“He changed a lot, can’t blame him. He came here almost fifteen years ago. Just him and his little one. Apparently his girl back in Texas wasn’t interested in being a mom so Joel grabbed his little girl and everything he owned and came here to raise his little girl”

You brought the mug of hot chocolate to your lips as you listened to her. If Joel had a kid, maybe Ellie would find a friend?

„In the last five years Joel’s father and mother died. And then his girl, little Sarah, got sick close after her twelfth birthday. She passed before her thirteenth,“ Donna said sadly and you felt your eyes water, thinking about the amount of loss the man, Joel had went through. 

„If it wasn’t for Tommy I don’t know if Joel would still be around," she added quietly, before she took a deep breath. 

„I don’t think I have seen Joel smile once since before the funeral. He comes in weekly to get some of the bread I bake. I used to own the local bakery before my daughter took over. I always pack him a sweet treat. He’s nice to me, but I heard a lot about him arguing with other shop owners. Only last week he almost got into a fight at home depot,“ she sighed. 

“Grief can change you but he also sounds a bit like an asshole,” you mumbled and Donna chuckled. 

“I will keep your room for you, if you like,” Donna said. 

You shook your head. 

“I dealt with assholes in my job all day. I can handle Joel Miller. And I need is a place I can settle down with Ellie in. She’s been through so much, she deserves to be happy.”

You did not tell her that the biggest asshole you had to deal with had been living in your apartment with you for six years, cheating on you in your bed with probably every intern his company ever had before he got into drunken accident, almost killing Ellie who was in the backseat with him.  

You had been in a meeting with your divorce attorney, finally having decided to leave him and sue him for custody of Ellie when you got the call about the accident. You had never been as thankful as the moment you stepped into the hospital that you had adopted her a year before.

“I will be rooting for you,” Donna said, before she got up, squeezing your shoulder once. You watched her go.

Joel Miller seemed to be known all around town, which should be good for his business. But he seemed not to be the friendliest person. Something you could understand with the amount of shit he had to deal with in the past. 

You felt a strange urge to help him and his family.

You sighed, emptying your mug before you put it in the dishwasher to make your way up to your room. 

„Hi Ellie Bellie,“ you smiled as you unlocked the door, Ellie sitting in the armchair near the window, a book in her lap. She didn't look up as you entered, giving you just an acknowledged hum and you walked over to her, seeing her sketching into her notebook she had on top of the book, sketching the landscape in front of your window. 

For a nine year old, she was incredibly talented. 

„Ready to move tomorrow?“ You asked and she looked up at you. 

„Do I get my own room?“ She asked and you smiled. 

„According to Tommy we will get our own little apartment, so chances are high there’s a room for you,“ you winked and she nodded with a small smile. Her hair fell out of her messy ponytail, her hair finally long enough to put it back into one after the doctors had to cut of some of her hair after her injuries. Part of the back of her head had to be shaved in order for her to get surgery. It had been the longest four hours of your life, waiting for the doctor to tell you that she would be okay and survive. 

„I like this town. It’s…. It’s quiet,“ she whispered and you leaned down, hugging her carefully. 

„I like it here too.“

Once Ellie was asleep you packed her stuff together so you could be out of here first thing in the morning. It would be the weekend so she would not have to go to school tomorrow. 

From what she told you she loved her first week in the new school and already had made some new friends. You hoped you would be able to invite them over to your new place once you had settled in. 

Something you had to talk about with Tommy. And Joel. 

You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little anxious to meet Joel Miller. You had spent a little time researching him and the farm after dinner, the reviews on google making it sound like he was an absolute nightmare to be around. 

You just hoped his brother Tommy was right and Joel would see that he needed some help with the farm. 

Your bags were already packed for the big first day tomorrow. Deciding to take one last bubble bath in the old bathtub you got out of your clothes, not knowing if your new place had one too. You sank into the hot water, sighing loudly as the heat seeps into your skin. This had to work, for you and for Ellie. This was the chance you needed to make a real life for the two of you, one where you could be finally be happy. You had some great ideas for the Christmas tree farm, you could make it into the thriving business that Joel and Tommy wanted it to be. Tommy seemed to have your back, you just had to win Joel over. 

Which left you with nothing but anxious excitement for the days to come. 

Meanwhile Joel was sitting on his porch on the other side of town, looking up at the night sky, the stars flickering in the far distance where he imagined his little girl watched over him. 

He knew that whatever he was doing with the farm wasn’t working. He knew he needed help. And he knew he would never ever search or ask for help himself. 

He was a big part of the problem and if he wanted to save this place, he needed some change. And maybe that change could be you. 

So he decided to try to meet this woman with an open mind the next morning. 

Not knowing meeting her would be the beginning of something that would change his life forever. 

[reason-with-the-underdog]

you were not mine to save -> to be loved is to be changed

i keep thinking about how

if you boil down alhaitham & kaveh's akademiya-era fallout fight, it was that alhaitham wanted to change kaveh & kaveh could never agree with his proposed course of action

but now, as full grown adults, alhaitham isnt trying to change kaveh anymore

that core conflict does reoccur, as it did during Parade of Providence when alhaitham lectured kaveh after Act II & kaveh got annoyed

(even though Alhaitham was obviously just worried about kaveh's health/wellbeing...)

this is a common pattern of behavior for them: alhaitham is worried about kaveh & kaveh reacts defensively to it

which speaks to how stubborn & hyper-independent kaveh is

despite being someone who's dedicated to giving back to the community and contributing towards the larger social good, he's quite determined on his own path in life

he'll bear the consequences (ie bankruptcy) all by himself if necessary...! and he's much too stubborn to be talked out of his own decisions

i dont think there was any possible way kaveh could have walked away from the wrecks of the first build of alcazarzaray and still be at peace with himself

and kaveh even admits he was naive (in his teapot dialogue), but he doesnt regret it still even now

so i think its cool alhaitham realised that there's no point in trying to convince kaveh to change who he is

such is kaveh. kaveh will not be someone different, not even for alhaitham. his work & altruism are parts of his core identity

why fight a mountain who will not be moved?

instead, alhaitham goes for more "harm reduction" strategies:

help cover kaveh's bar tabs, which means he's also the one lambad calls to pick up kaveh & see kaveh home safely

snark at kaveh when he's ranting about clients to keep him in a righteous mood instead of getting depressed

there's a quote about how to be loved is to be changed....

and alhaitham certainly has changed so much from that smart-mouthed student who had pinpointed what he thought was the root of kaveh's overbearing altruism and figured he could fix kaveh's problems with that knowledge!

to now as an adult with a lot more life experience: alhaitham knows that kaveh isn't his to save

and the more he tries to force kaveh to changing, the more likely kaveh is to dig his heels in

alhaitham doesnt need to be kaveh's minder or overbearing best friend--

he wants to be kaveh's partner, his equal, which means respecting kaveh's choices for what they are

anyways kaveh's drowner analogy works rly nicely for this core conflict between them (changing people vs supporting them and protecting them from harm)

& i cant believe its canon

i really appreciate this aspect of their relationship too-- it feels very mature & realistic...

how easy it would be if you could just TELL someone how to fix their problems!

its very frustrating to see someone you care about run straight towards problems again & again...

but you can't change someone's mind bc you want it to be that way. they have to decide on their own, on their own volition, and to truly believe in their decision, for the changes to really stick

as much as it sucks that you can't just solve people's problems for them

the human experience is so much richer for all of our different perspectives and ideas and principles that will not be compromised bc someone else wanted it to be

you can't control people's thoughts & that's for the best (also alhaitham's SQ is literally about this lmao)

[hai7ani]

plum blossoms in the winter / うめ

r(evol)ution | wc. 5k | chapter playlist | a late vday fic :>

Snow melts off of huge, old willow trees in Tokyo when Haitani Rindou finds himself in a maze.

It is February — cold, somewhat melancholic despite it being the month of love — and he’s shimmying himself into his pair of jeans in the chill of his quiet apartment.

The white turtleneck he has on does little work to keep himself warm. It’s thick but it’s thin, yet he still keeps it on anyway. It’s still something, at least. He’s always been picky and weird when it came to temperatures — though it is more important to note that Rindou has never been a fan of winter. Heavy clothing dumbs him down and he feels like a fool whenever he has that one ugly puffer on (it is thrifted from 2nd Street as a joke and turned out to be the only clothing that keeps him perfectly warm all winter, much to his dismay, because his expensive collection of The North Face puffers he’d spent a fortune on couldn’t even come close).

It’s awfully silent in his tiny home this morning.

Awkward, unsettling, eerie. One that raises mild feelings of distress while he’s buttoning up his ugly green uniform over his stupid turtleneck, that makes him shove belongings into his bag a little more rougher than usual. It just puts him in a bad mood. He hates it.

The only other sound that accompanies him and his jumbled up thoughts amidst it all is the low humming of his creaky heater — which obviously needs some serious servicing — sitting in the corner of his living room. It’s just there, old and rusty. Perhaps he should really get to texting his landlord by the end of this week.

Everything seems to be much more complicated in his head these days. Wires don’t connect, stars don’t align. It doesn’t help that Rindou feels as though the whole world is out to get him lately, too. His manager is going through some weird behavioural changes (a seasonal animal, he thinks), the lousy neighbour upstairs might’ve just morphed into an elephant with the loud stomps in the middle of the night, and his favourite indie restaurant has closed down permanently after filing for bankruptcy not too long ago.

Early sunlight creeps through the gaps of his cheap curtains in slow gradients as he stares at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. It is scattered with toothpaste splatters and water stains that he has not bothered to wipe off — it’s been months since the last proper cleanup around his place, and he still hasn’t found the motivation to do so. But lately he has been finding it harder to get simple things done.

The sight of his sullen, dull face alone has him sucking in a deep breath. He leans in closer, closer — a few fingers stretching out his skin, observing himself in the reflection carefully — until he can see the faded scars from his rebellion (mostly on his forehead and around his lips, accompanied by a few razor bumps here and there) and the ones on his cheek from picking at his acne too often when he was young.

All of these are him, fine. He’s noticed these things about himself since they’ve started existing on his face — they have been a part of him for as long as he can remember and he hasn’t found a valid reason to be insecure. He is not an insecure person at all. He just doesn’t care. He is who he is.

But since when has he ever gotten so tired? Dark circles have formed under his eyes and his skin feels so dry. His lips have started cracking again from the cold and his hair. . . Perhaps some gel might help, but he thinks it’ll make it look even more oily. Guys with hair too shiny under the sun has always been an ick to him.

Sure, he admits he is a loser. From time to time, Rindou is a loser. He doesn’t have friends that last and he doesn’t believe in much. Whatever comes to him — whatever that happens to his shitty little life — he accepts it gracefully. He is a man who acts like one (or so he believes). He’s long past his prime at the big adult age of 24, working full-time in the same old city of Roppongi selling liquor for some income to support his hobby, who is surprisingly still a virgin despite the number of girls that flock to him for his name, to what once was.

But this?

This?

He turns on the faucet and lets it run for some noise — the silence was getting to his head, too much, too loud, too sharp. He watches, swallowing, as ice-cold water runs and runs and he listens to it run. Knuckles turning white while he grips onto the ceramic, cyan sink in anger.

Up until now, Rindou has been content with his life. This life, one of mundane and routine, where all he can hear when he gets home is sharp ringing from deafening silence and the occasional beeping from his laundry. He still wants to believe that this is the peace he has been wishing for since he was young. He still wants to believe that he is fine with being so alone, so lonely by himself all the time. It’s boring some days (most days), but he hasn’t found much fault with it until today. . .

Something in him snaps. Like a worn-out rubber band, like the old branch out his window under the heavy weight of snow. He lets out a breath when he hears it creak. Too much like him, he thinks. It falls to the ground with a muffled thud — on top of more snow — and he switches the tap off.

Fucking winter.

Always bringing out emotions that he does not want to face.

But he thinks this isn’t who Haitani Rindou is at heart at all. He isn’t some pathetic dude who wallows in self-pity for getting his guy feelings hurt by a girl, leaving his heart somewhat broken with her words.

Sure, it may be his first time experiencing love, real love, but he isn’t a goddamn pushover. He can’t be beating himself up for something he can’t control. If time is definitely what she needs, he’ll give it to her, alright.

Though a quote he remembers reading somewhere — perhaps online on some stupid website for advice — lingers in the back of his head. Something about the privilege of feeling so hollow, so helpless, so. . . stupid, for someone.

For a girl, a lady that is clearly not ready to love. A woman who he was so willing to wait for. It is apparently a privilege to feel so strongly for someone, and he almost thought it was a joke.

But it lingered somehow — words of Jay Vespertine had stayed in the back of his head like glue, stuck to his walls like spiderwebs. (His eyes flicker over to the poster of Spiderman hanging off his wall and he resists making himself laugh.)

Perhaps there is some truth to it, after all. He’s not sure. Rindou knows jack shit about love.

So when the phone rings and he sees that it’s a video call from you — or more like from your son, who is crying and fussing in your arms in the preview — he wastes no time in picking it up.

Calls in sick and all. Grabs his keys to go. He peels off his ugly green uniform on his way out and haphazardly throws on that lousy, stupid puffer hanging off his rack before slamming the door shut.

(He’s not as numb as people see him to be.)

— cw. childbirth (short)

You work in a luxury retail store in downtown Ginza. It is demanding and draining with a dog-shit management team, but it pays well, at least. Without this job you wouldn’t be able to comfortably pay for bills and your son’s daycare (a proper one with teaching sessions for his learning difficulties), and still have some extra for light shopping and desserts on the few weekends that you are off.

Shou is soon turning three in Spring.

You still remember the first time you had held him in your arms, in the cramped hospital room where the smell of blood and womb had filled your nose. It felt so overwhelming, and it was overwhelming. His father wasn’t in attendance and the only support you had was from the nurse who looked so much like your own mother. (You haven’t seen her in a while, and you do not plan on doing so anytime soon.)

His birth was painful and you remember crying so much. It was so rough and you wanted to die. You remember being so close to giving up right after his head was out and you swore you didn’t have the energy to continue anymore.

But you pushed through, held on, and your baby was fine. He was healthy and he weighed good — five fingers on each hand, long lashes on his eyes, red, wet lips carrying a voice that wailed so loud.

He was fine. But you were not.

You were just a young girl, like any other, who had her own hopes and dreams, too. You were only 22 and you wanted so much — you wanted love, you wanted education, you wanted to make money, you wanted to travel the world. . .

You wanted to blossom like the flowers in spring and spread your wings like an angel.

But girls can never have too much at once. They can never have what they want.

Girls can never be who they are.

Right when your education was going uphill you just had to get caught up with a bum — an alcoholic, a borderline abuser — and have his kid. It was a careless, horny mistake — a one-night stand that turned into a fling, who soon became someone you had to live with for the sake of a child you did not plan for.

(You truly loved him, you did, but it wasn’t enough to make you stay.

You cannot stay anymore.)

But Shou was never a regret to you. Without him, there wouldn’t be any motherhood to your life. He taught you so much with his little face, little hands, that sweet voice you love hearing it yell ‘Mommy’, showing you so many ways to love a person that you didn’t even know was possible. It’s rough, but it is for him, your baby, and you want to give him as much as you can, while you still can.

Which is also the reason why you find yourself waiting outside the prestigious Louis Vuitton store in the cold, carrying a sniffling child in your arms and fierce eyes boring holes onto the back of your head through the window.

Risa-san is annoyed, to say the least. This isn’t the first time your son has brought you trouble at work. There have been few counts of you bringing your son along because he cannot be found separated from his mother. To her, this isn’t professional. You aren’t a good mother. You should’ve taught him better. These were words she had said to your face during an angry confrontation because Shou had spilled milk all over her expensive leather shoes while he was running around in the store room and bumped into her legs. (It was dimly lit and Shou was afraid of the dark.)

And you understand her perspective, really. You do. You feel bad that she — and all the other employees — have to put up with your personal issues at work. You aren’t a professional staff at all.

But you feel even worse for finding yourself relieved and happy that today — for the first time since he was born — Shou is crying for someone who isn’t you.

God, you really needed the break.

His ‘be there in 20’ text right after you hung up the call was as true as it sounded.

Rindou never lies.

“Windou!” Shou-chan practically jumps out of your arms, wiggling his socked feet and all (his little shoes are off and hanging off your fingers) at the sight of his favourite person. The sniffling stops and he is back to a grinning, happy boy again.

“I’m really sorry for having you come over,” you say, face apologetic and worried when he locks his car and crosses the street. The bright orange puffer he has on is ridiculous — a huge contrast to the ivory white streets covered in snow, he looks so out of place — and you let out a shaky breath and pretend to fix your son’s jacket to cover the laugh bubbling in your throat.

“Where’s his scarf?” There’s a small, concerned frown on his face when you hand the boy off to Rindou. It’s smooth and it feels so natural that it sends something warm and tingly spreading all across your chest. It doesn’t help that he is standing so close to you in this tiny street, pushed together to make way for other pedestrians.

Something about his presence around you this winter feels like a heavy blanket in the night — comforting, warm, something that feels so much like home. You cannot explain it clearly.

“He didn’t wanna wear it.” You pass him his shoes, out of breath. The cheeky boy is unzipping the top of Rindou’s puffer for warmth (and because he is a cheeky boy, but Rindou lets him anyway) while you converse.

It’s been a week since you’d last spoken to each other and it feels awkward, to say the least. He’s looking at everything but you and you’re looking at everything but him. Every little thing, down to the way he is obviously pretending to fix Shou’s jacket too (you’re just the same, the both of you, you’re one kind), reminds you of the night you’d hurt him with harsh words (about him, about you, about your son) and he'd stormed out the door after getting his point across because he’d gotten so fed up with it.

Or with you. You do not know.

But you do notice a Thermos that he hands you with his free hand after a minute of dodging eyes and avoiding feelings. “Red bean. Picked it up on my way.”

And then they’re off. “Let’s go, buddy. We’ll walk today, yeah?” A huge nod paired with an equally huge, toothy grin, “yeah!”

Shou doesn’t even wave you goodbye because he is so busy playing with Rindou’s many earrings with one little finger. Naughty boy, doesn’t even want Mommy anymore after finally getting to see who he wants.

“We’ll be nearby. Text me when your shift ends.”

When he leaves, it’s with a look that he sends into your store — through the large window, past the luxury bags on display, into the eyes of a girl who dodges it before turning away awkwardly.

—

“Is he the father?” Her sharp voice breaks through the peaceful quiet of the pantry. The sound of steaming hot water dispensing into your cup is no longer pleasant while you ponder about her intentions.

Risa-san shoots you a look over her shoulder when you don’t reply. “I’m just asking. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

You only blink and screw the Thermos shut. “No, he isn’t.”

”I see. Was just curious about what he’s doing with you.” She shakes her head, “you as in a single mother, I meant. Nothing more.”

Her response makes you perk. “Do you know him?”

“You don’t?” She looks genuinely shocked, for once. “I went to school with him when we were young. Haitani Rindou, right? I think he recognised me, too. He was pretty well known back then, you know? He used to be in a huge bosozoku back in those days, but I heard he even went to jail or something, because he disappeared right after graduation.”

“Really?”

She raises her hands in defense when she turns to look at you, “I’m just saying. I guess he is a changed man now. But he wasn’t a bully or anything like that though. Just seemed to be a teen who had a huge phase.”

—

Rindou has been told once that he resembled an oyster.

He was sixteen in autumn — still in uniform with a fresh wound to his cheek after a petty fight with some asshole in the class next door — when an old shaman tapped him on the shoulder gently in the streets and whispered it to his ear like a secret. The wind blows and dried leaves rustle. From the corner of his eyes he sees a calico cat crossing the street. He truly thinks mother nature is mocking him at that moment. Almost as if to say, good luck with that info.

It weirded him out at first, but he let it sink in the whole time he was walking home that day.

He let it sink in for years.

It turned out to be true, kind of.

“You’re tight. I’ll need a knife to get you to open up.” She was dead serious, too. Her voice was deep, stern — she had an unsettling look to her face that would’ve disturbed him genuinely if it wasn’t for the music playing in his ears, distracting him sort of. He didn’t manage to get a word in before she left, didn’t fully understand what she meant until he did.

Seven years have gone by and Rindou still thinks of that encounter every now and then. But much more frequently these days when it’s zero degrees at two, melancholy clinging onto the cold nights of winter tickling him at his feet, and he’s falling asleep to the thought of you. The grave realisation comes to him like whiplash when lazing around in bed one day tossing stress balls in the air, thinking about him, you, what you could’ve been sooner if he’d met you a little bit earlier before you became a mother.

About the girl you were before, about the boy he was and still somewhat is.

His phone lights up from a notification on the counter and he perks. A customer speaks to him about a gift suggestion but he tunes it out like white noise in the wind.

Rindou doesn’t deny that he’s fallen in love.

For the first time ever, he’s opened up his oyster heart.

—

It takes two longing days for Rindou to ready himself to see you again.

Your text from the other day has left him over-contemplating on his thoughts, the suffocating what-ifs when you finally do meet. It doesn’t help that he’s alone most of the time so he’s often found swimming in his own world, hanging around in his bubble and beating himself up for things that only exist in his head.

It almost pains him to drive through the city to see you. When stopping at a red light watching a sweet couple cross the street with a large bouquet of roses in her hand, he wonders if he torments you just as much as you do to him. He wonders if you think about him at night to stars that laugh at the both of you all the time.

A small part of him still hopes that you see him the same way he sees you too — that things are not what you’d said the other time in your living room. He prays for some hope that things will change after today.

Shinjuku Gyoen is quiet at this time of the month. Quiet in a way that is calm, one that tells him something good is coming. At that, Rindou finds himself growing excited to something that is probably not going to come true. He stops his leg from shaking out of habit and looks away from one dead tree to another.

His nostrils hurt from the frosty air and he holds his breath. But the ones grazing his cheek are somewhat pleasant, at least. He likes that.

“Thanks for the flowers.” You finally say after a moment. When he turns, you are smiling down at the small bouquet of camellias held tightly in your hands, sniffing and admiring. You look beautiful today. Your dress — on top of layers of thick innerwear — is flowy and your hair is done nice. You look different than previous times when you’d meet on weekends and have coffee over games of Wordle, where he’d teach you simple English with your son who too has his own cup of chocolate, hot or iced, depending on his mood. And you’re wearing the shoes he’d helped pick on an impulsive online-shopping session on payday.

Rindou does not know why he’d chosen such a day to meet up as per your request. He’d only said this Friday — not on the 14th, not on Valentines. This Friday (today) simply lined up with work and he needed time to prepare himself before seeing you again. It’s only when he returns home and stares at the calendar while doing his laundry that he remembers the meaning this day holds. He slapped himself on the face. One more thing to worry about, you idiot — because Rindou sucks at buying gifts, and even more so for a girl.

But fuck it, he thinks. It’s now or never.

(He did a great job with his gift this time.)

“It’s. . . only right.” He responds, scraping the sole of his Converse on the ground for some noise. Rindou hates awkward silences. Though a random busker has started performing at the other side of the park, and he almost thanked her for it. The sound of light acoustic guitar and a pretty voice travels through your ears with the help of a cooling breeze — Best Part by Daniel Caesar plays, you hum at the noise. “It’s nice out today.”

The sky is blue and bright. It isn’t snowing and doesn’t seem to be anytime soon. It’s a perfect day for a walk for those who find happiness in the cold (you, for example), but too bad that Shou-chan is at home with Yuzuha who doesn’t have a date, much to her dismay. He wouldn’t have minded that the little guy tagged along today — he wanted to see him, he was looking forward to it.

It is nice out today, but it is still winter, and he notices you fixing your scarf tighter around your neck.

If you won’t, he will.

“Do you. . . wanna walk?” Rindou starts. You look at him, pretty eyes folding into soft crescents at his initiative, almost appreciative. Your lips are rosy, stretched into a smile you secretly only reserve for him, and your lashes flutter at the sight of his boyish features. You’re deep down a girl who has really thin skin — one that selectively thickens for hard times — and you cannot bear to be selfish for yourself.

But he will, for you.

“Okay.”

For the rest of your walk to the coffee shop located in the park itself, Rindou lets you set the pace — for both the conversation and the speed of your legs against his on the pavement.

You’ll walk in front, admiring the scenery, and he’ll admire you.

—

(His prayers have been heard. He reminds himself of Namiki-kun from First Love.

He secretly cheers, too.)

—

“I like you, Rindou-kun.” You begin, out of breath, cheeks red like the bloomy camellias in your hands upon hearing your own words. A young child runs past the gap between you and him, chasing after a friend who stole his toy. His mother apologises, but you pay her no mind.

When he looks up from the dirt on his shoelaces, he can see it all on your face. You really are such a thin-skinned girl. You are trying so hard to be brave. For what you really, really want. It’s evident in your eyes. The eyes never lie.

“I really, really do.” You smack your lips together and shift your stance, hoping that you don’t look like an idiot standing before him. “I didn’t mean what I said the other day, about leading you on. . . and all the other things I’ve said. But I kinda hope I did lead you on, because I do like you that way. . . too.”

You catch the mild hesitation in his steps when he comes closer, and closer — so close that it knocks the breath out of your lungs, and you squirm, melt, hold back a pathetic whimper when he looms over you so romantically under the blooming plum tree.

A hand of his picks away a blossom that landed on your crown, rolling its fragile stem between two pads of fingers, admiring, and then you. Sunlight creeps through the leaves and branches — into your eyes, on your shy, somewhat embarrassed figure — and he truly thinks you are something else. An angel, a sweet angel, you’re different when you are just by yourself, expressing your wants.

More of plum blossoms fall on you both when the wind blows. Some land on the broad shoulders of his coat (that you’ve noticed him wearing, because he was never a long-coat wearer until today), between the soft of his gelled blonde hair, into the creases of your fluffy scarf.

“Will you wait for me?”

You stretch your neck upwards to look at him properly.

“I will need time, I hope you understand. I hope you can be patient with me.” You almost cry when his amethyst eyes do not waver against your own. You want to be heard. You want to be seen.

“But I like you, too, Rindou. I really, really wanted you to know that.”

You want to be loved.

“Please wait for me.”

He tucks the blossom into your hair, watching it stay in place, even when a harsher wind blows and you breathe.

Truly beautiful, pretty. So you.

His response comes to you in the form of a kiss. A short peck that makes waves crash, like the soft brush of two petals meeting in the universe. Although inexperienced and shy, his lips are soft and lovely against your own that tastes so much of sweet strawberry from your favourite lip balm. It reminds him of everything that February is.

With him, you do not have to beg for love.

He can assure you that.

—

“What’s going on with you?”

The restaurant is way too busy for his brother to be asking this question. He only shoots him a look before blowing on his ramen. “What’s up with me?”

”You’re different today.” This time. Ran’s voice is as lazy as it can be. He eats a gyoza and eyes the no-smoking sign on the wall. “Like, really different.”

Rindou does not deny that. “Go back to eating your stupid gyoza.” Ran has been bugging his brother for it the minute he got back from university. He’s chosen to move out and live in the lousy dormitories because he claimed it’ll help him focus with studies a lot more better. And with easy access to campus, too.

A pretentious guy, really. Ran had gone back to get education with a loan as soon as he left the gangster scene with his brother. Among all subjects he could’ve chosen to study and probably earn money when he finally finishes his course, Ran had settled for Art History as a major. On the surface he claims it’ll make him seem way more mysterious and cool, and even though Rindou plays along with it sometimes, he knows otherwise with all the hidden stash of art magazines and memoirs beneath Ran’s bed that has been piling up along the years. (And that one painting by William McTaggart as his wallpaper that he hasn’t bothered to change for years.)

“I already am.” Ran only scoffs. But he does not take any of it to heart — it’s just the way they communicate, has been the way that they communicate. Rude, boisterous, teasing sometimes — just like close-knit brothers, which they are, and naturally, Ran is not wrong about his observation of his brother, yet he does not poke. A shared, silent understanding between the duo.

Nahoya comes around the counter in his oil-stained apron and grins. “How’s the food, boys?” Souya peeks his head out from the kitchen.

“I’m older than you.” A warning.

“Let me smoke in here.” A plea.

Nahoya walks away.

—

Light snow falls on their heads when Ran offers him a cigarette sticking out of the box. Seven Stars, which has been long favoured by both brothers since they’d begun smoking.

Rindou only coughs into his fist and shakes his head, much to Ran’s surprise. Another smoker in the section stares and then away, quick, when Ran shoots him a look. Just had to make things awkward for no reason.

The streets of Kamiyamacho are surprisingly quite empty today. In this street specifically, only the Kawata’s ramen restaurant is crowded with people. Rindou only shrugs when he notices his brother waiting.

“I quit smoking a while ago.” He shoves his hands into his pockets like a jock.

“Huh? Since when?”

“Like last summer, right after you moved out.” Ran’s mouth opens, then it closes — at a loss for words, but he wants to say something. The other guy leaves after butting out his cigarette in the designated ashtray. As if he knows.

“Was it hard?”

Rindou ponders for a moment at that, like a garden in bloom, each thought growing and intertwining with one another. He thinks of all the withdrawal symptoms he went through right after he stopped smoking for the first month, and it was an excruciating process, to say the least. It was hard, rough, but he is glad he chose to quit in the first place.

“Kind of, yeah. No regrets, though.” A subtle pause. “I can breathe better now.”

A woman dragging along her fussy toddler passes them by and Rindou stares and stares, sparkly orbs not once leaving the boy who is crying for his dad. His phone chimes in his pocket and he excuses himself to go text her back.

Ran thinks he knows.

After all, he did notice the polaroid of Rindou with an unfamiliar girl under a blooming plum tree shoved into his wallet when he was paying for food earlier. (And the wallpaper of a little boy playing with a familiar DJ setup on his phone. . . Ran recognised one of his own belongings in the background — that ugly table cloth that used to be his shirt can never escape his eagle eyes.)

Ran always knows.

Rindou has fallen in love.

thank you mie and ina for helping me with this ♡