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afreakingdork · 1 month

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You Are My Sunshine, My Only Moonshine - Chapter 9

RotTMNT x Reader

I am constantly blown away by this chapter art by @yamin-yups

Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader, Michelangelo (TMNT)/You, Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Donatello (TMNT)/You

Warnings: POV Second Person, Gender Neutral Reader, Anxious Reader, Introverted Reader, Stuttering, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Romance, Love, Love Confessions, Falling In Love, Unrequited Love, Rejection, Aromantic Asexual Michelangelo (TMNT), Bisexual Donatello (TMNT), Pansexual Leonardo (TMNT), Lesbian Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit, Demisexual April O'Neil (TMNT), Implied Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit/April O'Neil/Sunita, Endgame Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Romantic Love, Platonic Love, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, Happy Ending, Fluff

Synopsis: You’ve lost most of your life to anxiety and fear. Now, in your late 20s, you are desperate to reclaim it and during one such outing you encounter the sun personified. With his and his similarly celestially inspired family, will you finally reach your goal or will you lose yourself along the way?

This chapter contains reference to body dysmorphia. Remember that what you feel is completely valid, but we can sometimes see ourselves differently than we really are. Please keep yourselves safe.

Also available on Ao3

First 💛 Previous

“Maybe we take a break from going out into the packed public for once?” Mikey was upside-down, but compensated by holding his phone the opposite way.

It put him right side up in the video chat, but the view was extra blurry. “Is that… okay?”

“I’m the one suggesting it!” Mikey stuck out his tongue, but his reflection seemed to confuse him on which way the appendage should go. “It’s been awhile. I haven’t been able to see you.”

“Yeah… well…” Though for you it would have been predictable, Mikey hadn’t felt the firsthand effects of your setbacks yet.

Panic attacks always caused you to withdraw into yourself.

You weren’t supposed to.

There were times when it was easy to keep going.

Others, such as now, left you homebound for as long as society allowed.

The push to normalcy now included your thoughtful friend.

“Do you know after my tremors went away, I spent months avoiding art because I was afraid of how it would look?” Mikey told you casually.

You weren’t sure what he was talking about.

You tried to recall something about tremors, but came up short.

You wanted to ask more, but there was a more startling aspect than the content itself.

You couldn’t believe there was ever a period where Mikey avoided art as he had been nothing, but a loud proponent of all its merit.

“Why?”

“Because I knew my level and then… I didn’t. I knew I’d have to get back there. It was like riding a skateboard, but needing to take that time? For a second time. Chancing the bad result? It was like my healing was one thing and then by doing that it would show me just how much further I still needed to go. Like that dude with the cat and the box. I didn’t want to open it and find out. I couldn’t do it.”

“Isn’t the saying… something… about riding a bike?”

“We were skateboard tots!” Mikey rolled over and with it so did his camera, inverting the image.

You nodded lightly.

“I switched up crafts. Started new ones that weren’t so finger focused. Pour paints and candle work!” He made grabby hands at the lens as he fixed his phone angle.

“Something low key…” You hummed where you were sitting at the foot of your bed.

“Yeah, something quiet, calm, and… oh! Oh yeah!” There was another flip, but this one was out of excitement.

“D-don’t… bust through a wall…!”

Mikey appeared within a flurry of static. “Did you just make a Kool-Aid Man joke?”

“I make jokes!”

The wattage of his smile turned up to a blinding degree. “Well then I’ve got just the wall to bust through!”

“No.” Donnie glowered over his shoulder.

“Please!” Mikey bounced his plea with his head straight up to the ceiling of the garage you were currently in.

An oddity in the subway, but something you imagined had to exist based on logic, your eyes were openly roving around the tidy depot.

“Absolutely not.” Lifting out from under a hood and minding his head, Donnie craned an elbow to the engine block he was working on. “You know you’ve been banned.”

“One time!” Mikey groaned.

“No!” Donnie felt the need to rip off his leather work gloves to throw an unencumbered finger in Mikey’s face. “You were banned once after crashing eleven separate times!!”

“Eleven?!” You squeaked.

Mikey flipped back and forth between the two of you, obviously caught in who to address first. “My driving is fine!” He chose you and then flipped to Donnie. “I’ve changed!”

From the duffel that was slung around your body, you had already been clinging to the strap as it gave you something comforting to hold on to. With the new knowledge that you had almost been driven somewhere rural by someone with that kind of driving record, you now scooped up the entire sack to soothe yourself.

“Forget that.” Donnie flicked his gaze to you. “You’d need a full crash suit to survive him.” He then folded his gloves into a pair and went to check his tool box.

You wilted further.

“We’re already packed!” Mikey rounded a new argument. “This is going to be our big, no-stress, relaxing getaway and you’re making it exactly not that!”

“That’s unfortunate. The bus station isn’t far.” Donnie knelt down to get a wrench.

“And how’s that going to work!? We get dropped at some station and walk to the cabin!? You know it’s in the middle of nowhere!” Mikey stepped up to throw menace over his brother.

Donnie smelled it a mile away and lifted his head, pouring twice the malice. “Oh, you want to play?”

Mikey gulped and nodded his head once. “Let us borrow a car, the tank, a shell cycle, whatever! You’re being unfair!”

“Your planning is poor.” Donnie was slow to get on one knee. “You’re ill equipped.” To the other, he got a foot under him. “You’ve informed no one.” Rising to his towering height above his brother, he loomed. “You walk into my garage, where I am in the midst of my own personal and much needed zen in the form of refurbishing my newest baby and expect me to drop the keys of another into your hands knowing full well that you have destroyed more vehicles on more occasions than I can count on our joined mutant fingers and toes because you just so happened to suddenly decided that you needed to take a weekend trip with your friend of which whom you have a similar slapdash scheme going on with to go to our family’s cabin up north on a whim!?!”

Having watched Donnie not take a single breath, you backed up nearly the same distance that Mikey’s head had shrunk down into his shell.

“Y-yes?” Mikey peeped.

“No.” Donnie said the word firm and quiet, but punctuated it with a tap to Mikey’s plastron which caused the stiff turtle to fall over. “Now leave me to my work.”

Only a shell laying there, you leaned forward to look over Mikey without compromising your spot.

Donnie swung his wrench and moved over to a creeper with the intention to disappear under what looked like a turtle-themed moon buggy.

“You-” Your voice echoed in the garage and you tensed up.

Mikey’s head emerged from his shell to peek at you.

Donnie halted his motion, but didn’t turn.

“You… um… could… come with us?”

You watched Donnie’s lips wobble with disdain.

“N-Not a-as a d-driver! Y-you said…”

In a loud pop, all of Mikey’s limbs emerged. “That’s a great idea!!!”

In a smooth rotation, Donnie both turned and lifted his wrench with a threat.

Mikey crab walked several paces away.

“I’m disappointed.” Donnie sent a glare in your direction. “If your thought is even-” He caught a glimpse of his wrench. “-5/16ths as moronic as his then you are banned from the garage itself. Know that, would you still like to continue speaking?”

Gaze plummeting, your heart tried to escape and you screwed the whole of you shut to keep it inside.

Your entire body shook with the force of your nerves and you had to wait until your BPMs dropped to a manageable limit before you could manage speech. “You… said… m-much needed… so maybe… the trip would… well… be calming… for you too?”

There was a clink of metal hitting the ground.

Banned.

You were banned from the garage.

That was fine.

In theory, it wasn’t.

In theory, you were mortified.

Despite your best efforts, you had never been banned from anything.

Now you were.

A glaring dark spot on your permanent record.

Was Mikey a bad influence?

“You do say driving gets your mind off things…” Mikey said with a sudden supportive starkness.

You kept your gaze firmly rooted to the floor in shame.

“Also hold up!” In a slap of feet against concrete, Mikey righted himself. “You take a few of those things back, Don! I may have pushed the idea through, but it was not poorly planned or ill equipment or whatever you said! Y/N worked crazy hard on putting together everything in the short time frame I laid out!!”

You twitched.

“There’s maps, multiple trails marked, a calculated amount of water, with extra rations, flares… Like do you think this other bag is mine? Heck no! I’m not bringing anything! Both these bags are Y/N’s! They’re both stuffed with… stuff! Like-like!” You felt Mikey come over to you. “How you contacted the ranger’s station to tell them we’d be in the area? I’ve never even thought of that! We’ve never done that have we, Dee?”

Donnie continued his bout of silence that you didn’t dare look upon.

“What else…?” Mikey slapped his forehead. “I mean, come on! I can’t even remember it all!”

“I… got that satellite phone… you were pretty excited… about it.” You mumbled to the ground.

“With the backup batteries, Donald!” Mikey hummed a self-important sound. “The backup batteries!!”

The garage made it very clear that Donnie was walking over to you.

You bounced ever so slightly to garner the courage to meet his eye.

“Who did itinerary?” Donnie asked.

“Me.” Mikey remarked casually.

“I assume food too?” Donnie’s voice was heavy with judgment.

“Nope.” You could see a swoop as Mikey folded smug arms.

“That’s not quite…” You cleared your throat. “Mikey… shared his… favorite dishes that you… all make…when you… go.”

Donnie dipped into your eye line and you startled.

He’d bent at his waist and come down at a perfect angle.

You stared with warped lips.

“How long?” He narrowed his gaze.

“T-the trip?” Your gaze wobbled.

Mikey opened his mouth and Donnie threw out an arm that, by the sound, must have slapped the younger in the face.

“Yes.” Donnie kept his hand in place.

“Tonight… tomorrow… back Sunday?”

“Is that a question?” Donnie’s head tilted.

Mikey grunted, annoyed.

“No…” You got out, quiet.

“You agreed knowing full well you’d be alone with him?”

Slapped with a similar heat from the first time you’d realized that fact, you gave a tight nod.

‘We have separate rooms!’ Mikey mumbled through closed lips with surprising clarity.

“And that’s okay?” Donnie disappeared.

You chased him up to find he’d released Mikey and was waiting on him for an answer.

“It’s a no brainer.” Mikey nearly rolled his eyes.

Donnie’s brow lowered, unsatisfied.

“Yes, it’s okay because it isn’t a thing.” Mikey huffed around his clarification.

“I suppose… I’ve been persuaded.” Donnie looked down thoughtfully and you watched him trace back to where he’d dropped his wrench.

Mikey jumped into the air with a sudden bout of energy and caught your hands to spin you.

“Y-y-yay!” You stutter, stalling on the rotation.

“Cabin, here we come, baby!” Mikey cheered.

“I need my things!” Donnie barked. “And you.”

You jolted. “Y-yes?”

“You will send me triplicate copies of your plans.”

“S-sure…” You spastically patted yourself down for your phone.

“I refuse to engage with either of your antics.” Donnie’s own appeared in his hand. “I am no third wheel. I am coming because I will apparently have to deal with your whining otherwise and because I am not in the mood for the lecture from Nardo and Raphael when they return.”

“Have they texted yet?” Mikey peered over Donnie’s shoulder.

“No. Security detail means one must pay-” Donnie suddenly dropped and ducked through Mikey’s legs in one fluid movement. “-attention. This is why you weren’t requested.”

“And why didn’t they request you, hm?” Mikey pushed his lips into one corner of his mouth.

“Because…!” Donnie trailed off with widened eyes. “My talents lie elsewhere! Enough interruptions. I will drive and then you will leave me be! I am to have my zen! Is that understood?”

“Yeah, yeah, crystal.” Mikey finally did roll his eyes.

Donnie took a few steps away as you found your phone and held it unsure of how to send him the details.

“He’s totally going because he heard ‘yakiniku’ when you mentioned we were making my favorite foods.” Mikey walked over to you with a smirk.

You watched Donnie take an irritated pause before continuing on to get his things.

The ride in the tank had passed with booming music and a tour from Mikey that you only visually participated in because you were terrified to move about the cabin. The younger seemed not to notice as he explained parts with stories more than function. Donnie alternatively, had shades on that further marred his calculated expression and he said nothing as the studious driver.

Leaving the city and entering scenic woodlands, you were soon left to admire the views until you eventually deviated off the road toward the cabin. Tracking it with the little local map you had found, you busied yourself in the comfortable way that most people disliked on road trips: silence in a cozy bubble all your making.

There didn’t have to be talk, that’s what road trip mixes were for.

You only made exceptions for car games.

You liked that they had simple rules and there were little stakes to be had.

You only wished cars were safer modes of transport.

There was also something to be said about environmental impact and the culture of automobiles in America, but other than that, you found them nice.

Pulling up to what you imagined was a quiescent place, Mikey could not be restrained a second longer.

Out of the tank in a flurry, you watched through the windshield as his form screamed straight up the cabin’s steps. “He doesn’t do great on car rides, huh?”

“Sitting still for too long? Michael?” Donnie rose from the captain’s chair.

You gave a small smile and gathered up the few things you’d taken inside with you. Your actual bags were stored in an outer compartment and Donnie waited for you as a safety net as you made the harrowing steps down the tank ladder and to the ground. Landing with little fault, you joined him in getting the luggage until Mikey tore back over to grab some of the load. He talked loudly of dust that had accumulated and Donnie griped at him that it was obvious they’d need to clean.

You fondly watched the two bicker and set-up became the next directive. Throwing back plastic sheets that coated furniture, Donnie had a multitude of inventions to clear the space quickly. You had to run to the windows to release the dust tornadoes formed. Making it out mostly unscathed, you then helped Mikey hang bug nets. With the late Spring weather warming the air, soon everything was prepped and Mikey did a little closing dance number, capping off the preparatory part of the trip.

“Swimming hole time!” Mikey cheered and then turned knowingly on Donnie. “Then BBQ and prompt lights out so I can make a lumberjack breakfast first thing!”

“We’re grinding beans… we roasted…” You offered softly. “Uh… Coffee… beans… that is…”

“Oh yeah, I forgot we took that class.” Mikey chuckled. “You almost fell into that sack!”

You squashed a noise of distress at the memory.

Understanding the schedule, Donnie dismissed himself with a turned foot and headed to one of the cabin’s many rooms. You were left to look about the quintessential log cabin where the huge living space and connected kitchen then butted up against a row of doors. They spoke of many rooms that traced the back of the cabin and then up a staircase to a second floor. From what you could see, there were about eight rooms in all. The entire cabin then had a wraparound porch that extended into the wilderness. It was land that both belonged to nature and not, but Mikey had been cagey about revealing property lines.

“Welp!” Mikey folded his hands on his hips. “Your boy needs to get wet before he explodes.”

You gawked at him.

“Seriously!” He was looking out over the cabin with a vacant stare that held a sort of unhinged quality. “First the car, then stuck inside? This is not an inside trip. if I am not unleashed in the next, oh I don’t know… 2 minutes, I’m going to lose it!”

“Uh…!”

“You got those trail maps?” He turned, both looking through you and not at.

“Y-yes!”

“I color coded the one to the watering hole. Orange, obviously.” Mikey approached with a waggling brow ridge. “I saw you in the car, keeping perfect pace. It was awesome.”

“Just to s-stay b-busy!”

“Uh huh! Your smile said otherwise! You’ll meet me there then! Same way!” He patted your shoulder once with a whack before bolting out the door.

You stared after him now knowing why he’d chosen to travel in his swimsuit.

Looking down at your road trip ensemble, you still felt sure of your decision to take the few hour drive comfortably.

There was a noise of a door opening and Donatello emerged, changed into a casual outfit punctuated by purple swim trunks.

You stared at him and felt a little like a caught fawn.

Donnie took you in before his gaze dulled with understanding. “He ditched you.”

“I’m… going to meet him.”

“He always does this.” Donnie responded dismissively. “You should have seen him in time out as a tot.”

“Oh?”

“One minute in time out for him was comparative to thirty for the rest of us.” Walking around a large kitchen bar, Donnie studied the rations.

You took a few steps toward him for the sake of it.

“He’s so impatient.” Donnie murmured, poking several waters aside to find a carton of juice boxes that Mikey had insisted on. He quickly tossed the set into the fridge. “He’s not even an aquatic turtle.”

You sort of wished you had done more research past looking up pictures of their species.

“You’re losing daylight.” He emerged from the fridge. “Or are you not swimming?”

“I-I am…!” You squeezed a fist to your chest. “Are… you coming too?”

Donnie blinked slowly at you. “No, why?”

“Oh…” You shouldn’t have assumed. He’d already told you otherwise. “Sorry… your bottoms… I thought…”

“Board shorts.” He punctuated the words with an odd accent.

You gave an unsure nod.

“I’m glad their sign was translated.” He glanced down at himself.

“Sorry…” You murmured when he made no further movement and quickly left to avoid any awkwardness.

You weren’t sure what you expected.

It’s not like you wanted to exclude Donnie.

You knew that pain too well.

You also didn’t want to make him feel unwelcomed.

You were painfully aware of that too.

He hadn’t wanted to be a third wheel and you had made it a silent mission to keep that from happening.

Something else you’d experienced in the past, you’d been the unwilling chaperone on more than one occasion just to satisfy parent’s minds. The good one, in their minds, you had always been ditched and the feeling wasn’t one you cared for. Shoving past the bygone era, you were seen now and you tried to relish that.

The sun’s attention was a fickle thing, but you were getting more use to losing Mikey’s. Something you thought should scare you, instead you felt your friendship with Mikey was stronger than ever. You no longer feared losing him in the same intangible way and you weren’t sure if you should crop that up to Mikey’s feelings about you. Instead it felt as though you’d reached a better status quo where Mikey’s running off felt more like the sun moving on its predetermined rotation. It would eventually round back to you and in that way you expected Mikey’s claustrophobia even if you hadn’t known about it.

You picked a room at random and rummaged through the duffel that you placed on your bed. There was a woodsy smell that teetered on musty in a way that spoke of it being well lived in even if its occupants only came every so often. You had your own little stand up mirror, nightstand, dresser, and a closet though you doubted you’d use anything past the first. Pulling out a single slick piece of black fabric, you double checked the door was closed before changing.

The perfect swimsuit was one you hadn’t imagined you’d find. Not one for flashy things, you only wanted a muted cover that also happened to cover you. Water did unimaginable things to fabrics and you hated the way it clinged. You wanted something you could disappear in, that brought no unnecessary attention, and could be forgotten on your end. Finding it in a matter of minutes into shopping as opposed to the years it took when you were younger, the item had even been on sale.

Stepping into it and pulling it up, you shimmied into the fabric and turned for that same show stopping image you’d seen in the changing room.

What stared back was an image of allure.

No.

That was wrong.

That’s not what it had looked like.

It had covered you.

It hadn’t accentuated anything.

It was simple.

You squirmed, changing angles in hopes that it would get better, but each only revealed more.

What had changed?

You’d purchased it this week.

Were you hallucinating?

Was there something in the wooden walls?

Had the tank crashed and this was you playing out some morbid purgatory?

You pinched yourself.

A sting bit your forearm and you threw your gaze back at the mirror for the unwilling shapes it concocted.

This wasn’t right.

You wanted to swim.

There was no way you could.

Miserably turning away from your image, you rooted through your bag for a cover up. Finding one in some oversized t-shirt you’d brought for comfort, you held it and hated that this wasn’t the way you imagined it would be employed. You figured it’d be a back-up pajama top and not something to hide your shame away in. Clinging to the fabric, you hastily pulled it over your head with an imaginary clock ticking away because Mikey was waiting.

You were ruining everything.

Stumbling out into the living room, you found yourself alone.

Momentarily thrown, but shaking off how Donnie wasn’t a priority right now and the guilt that came with that, you went for your pile of maps. Finding the trail one with the orange lines, you gathered some shoes and careened down the porch.

Buzzing insects mocked your sloppy descent as you rotated the map to be on your course. Following it more than your way, you took the necessary inlet and folded its winds to a drawn T. Bushes and trees concealed you, but the splashing of what was beyond reached your ears faster than you’d hoped. A journey not long to its destination, you slowed as you came to the final bend. You could hear Mikey blabbing presumably to himself as he hooted before resounding sloushes followed. In your mind he jumped off some kind of ledge, you took a deep breath before making the final steps leading to the watering hole.

Somewhere quaint if you had the perspective for such a thing, a tree towered comfortably overtop a sizable pool. One mucked up from algae as the little stream feeding into it didn’t stir the water near enough, you watched roiling green as Mikey emerged with a flip of his wet hair.

“Y/N!” Mikey shouted happiness. “You made it! Come on in! The water’s fine!!” He swam backwards as if giving you room.

The guilt was staggering.

No, Mikey.

I won’t be swimming today.

My body looks like shit and I can’t stand it.

I’ll watch you though.

Have all the fun.

You deserve it.

Signing off your name, you slunk forward only to clip a sight of mixed purples.

Donnie craned his neck back to view you from beneath a large sun hat he’d put on. Sitting on a few rocks that made up the closest edge to you, his lids lowered in a way that said he was reading you like a book.

Hating how he did that, you squeezed the bulky hem of your shirt and walked up. “Uh… M-Mikey…?”

“A-yup!” He stopped splashing to hear you better.

“The… um… car ride… sort of took… more out of me than… I thought? Would it be alright if-!”

“You don’t have to swim.”

You blinked wide and over to him.

“If you don’t want to, don’t!” Mikey continued on. “Let’s compare: are you upset I’m swimming when you don’t want to?”

“O-of c-course not!”

“Then why should I care in the reverse?” He fell back and floated, eyes closed, on his shell.

That was right in a way.

Sweet in another.

You wished you’d put together the same reaction.

Inching closer, it felt like pouring water into an overtaxed bucket.

Another guilty drop in your damnation.

You’d seen your friend in a bad light.

Shirking all the more, you toed off your shoes and let your feet lay flat on one of the worn rocks. It put you near Donnie who’d become the moon on a sunny day’s backdrop. He shined upon the same stone and illuminated its age. The rocks were older and wiser than you’d ever be. They never worried about getting wet. They only knew how to exist, something you wished came as easily to you. Sitting down because you needed more of you to drink from the stone’s wisdom, you kept a lowered head to the water’s edge. It sloshed in a beckoning way and you imagined it too would feel good in a different way.

You really had wanted to swim.

Imaging your tears would do little to fill up the pool while also overflowing it, you heard a tepid sigh beside you.

Eyes wide and shooting up across the pond, you then turned to where you’d sat down next to Donnie.

Someone who you mistakenly forgot about during your pity party.

How was that for a third wheel?

“It’s always something with you.” He spoke softly.

“Sure is.” You gave an awkward laugh.

“That’s…” He made a little concerned noise. “… I didn’t mean it in a cruel way.”

“You didn’t have to. It is.” You threw your legs off the rock and threatened to drown your toes in the water. “It’s a cruel fate. I’m…” You remembered yourself. “Sorry. Nothing. What are you doing here?”

“My species is aquatic.”

You snuck a glance. “You’re pretty dry then.”

“You are too.”

You frowned deeply and watched Mikey pick up a sun drunk grin as he spread his limbs out to float on. “I don’t know why I feel like this. Everything was fine before…”

“With what?”

“This…” You threw a hand over yourself. “Stupid ugly swimsuit.”

You could feel Donnie’s gaze linger.

“Just trust me.” You folded your legs against yourself.

“I’m not sure I do.”

You squinted at the glistening water before looking at him.

“I barely know you.” He responded simply, waiting there.

“Oh.”

“Disappointed?”

“In what?” Your ugly side was leaking far beyond the reach of what your shirt could cover. “I didn’t think you trusted me. You may have been wrong about me being bad, but that wouldn’t make you less suspicious. So it’s not that. What’s left? The swimsuit sucks. It’s not like you wanna drool over it. I don’t want anyone too. I wanted to swim.”

Hearing your wish aloud, you pressed hard on your chest with your legs.

You could flatten out your entire form if only you were malleable.

“The water is opaque. I can alert Mikey and we’ll turn away so you can get in.”

You felt too far gone for solutions.

You weren’t worth the trouble.

Burying your chin into your knees, you stewed.

“You know how many times the others have made fun of my board shorts?”

You told yourself you didn’t care.

If that was the case then Donnie didn’t either. “Hundreds, though it might be my attitude when wearing them. I like the excuse. To have my day off and not worry about pleasantries. To not have to tailor myself to others. I can tell them to shove it. It’s my day off and how I look isn’t anyone’s damn business.”

Sounded like an odd hill to die on.

“Everyone should have those days.” Donnie craned his arms behind him and leaned back to soak up the rays he was in.

The tree overhead was clipping your light.

Donnie was free.

Mikey was free.

Head lifting a little, you pondered your friend.

He’d needed to get out and he did.

Now he was a vision, glowing amongst the pool.

In contrast there was you, wadded up and tossed away without even giving yourself the chance.

Another terrible reminder that this was the point.

This was what you were trying to avoid.

This was what you were trying to learn from.

Mikey didn’t even have to do anything to be himself.

He just was.

Instead of his usual bustle of light, he shined by matter of existence.

That was why you chased him.

You wanted that.

Staring at him until sun spots mucked up your vision, you turned the mass to Donnie.

Beside you in the same pose, he was more calculated.

He had to put on his wares.

His was an unseen struggle you hadn’t considered.

No one gleamed quite like Mikey.

That didn’t mean they didn’t shine in their own right.

Donnie’s darkened scales only threw prisms in a different way.

The cool moon’s glow.

Letting your legs fall, this time your feet drew to the allure of the water.

Just out of reach, you stared hard, making sure the pair would keep their eyes closed.

The both of them were still as if asleep, but you waited past whatever insect was chirping before you slowly tugged your hem out from under you. Emerging without more than the sound of rustling fabric, you rolled your shirt up around your waist. The next move was one harder to conceal, you threw a desperate glance at your friend.

Water rocked the resting Mikey like a babe and you wanted to feel that too.

You wanted to be nestled by the sun’s glow.

You wanted to feel weightless and have those burdens removed.

You yanked the shirt over your head and dropped it to your side.

Donnie stirred at the sound, but didn’t open his eyes.

“It’s… It’s okay… I’m not… okay… but I think I… I don’t want to care…”

He cracked a lid and stared skyward.

“It looked so different in the store.”

“How so?” He asked a whispy cloud.

“It looked… I don’t know… covering? Like it didn’t… show any bits. Like it… hid them away.”

He blinked slow and comfortable. “I’m a designer, you know.”

“What?”

“Genius Built Apparel. Where fashion meets function.”

You stared on.

Of course he was.

He also built a tank and a legion of dusting robots.

If this were any other family you’d think he was pulling your leg.

You’d seen more than enough to believe.

Most of your stare came from the cocky name.

Though even that made sense.

Donnie was a carefully constructed sphere.

Who were you to take away his gloating?

He tilted his head just enough to glimpse your face. “I’m serious. I’ve dissuaded Mikey from many a faux pas.”

You shook your head.

“May I?”

“What?” You switched to eyeing him.

“I can take a clinical eye. Examine stitching. Find your err.”

You bounced one of your legs.

You did want to know where it had all gone wrong.

You could theoretically fix it then.

Wash this all away in the water you so desperately wanted to get in.

“You won’t make it weird?”

“I don’t drool on the metaphorical clock; you were right about that, but I understand your concern. I have accosted you before.”

“Different kind of weird. That was mean weird. You were a jerk weird.”

Donnie chuffed and it rolled down his plastron.

You watched it fall into his lap before forcing your gaze back to his face in a rush. “Promise… Promise I can pull your hat down if you… do anything.”

“I won’t so a simple enough agreement. Sure.”

“Go… ahead…” You folded your arms to your sides, obviously nervous as you listened to his clothes move.

In a twist, he was examining you and he gave a faint hum.

Not wanting to see exactly how he saw you and growing miserable, you stared into the water.

You could throw yourself in and be done with it.

“Here.” He spoke.

You moved to the sound on instinct and found him pointing to your hip.

His eye was indeed one you imagined a tired scientist gave the samples he was cursed to study.

You immediately relaxed. “What?”

“This ruching here is meant to cover cellulite when the fabric gets wet. When dry it acts a similar concealment, but the way the strips are sewn are for the first purpose.”

“Oh…” You tilted your head to look.

“Thing is, it’s also leading lines.” He didn’t get any closer, but he mimed tracing the seams of the fabric that curled around your hip and beneath where you were sitting. “It’s meant to direct the gaze to certain assets.”

You blew out an annoyed breath.

“Dressing room mirrors, where I imagine you first saw this, aren’t slapped on walls without thought. They're engineered with angles and lightning to make clothes look as flattering as possible.” He brought his eye to yours. “Where did you see yourself today?”

“There’s a… mirror in my room.”

Donnie’s lip twitched with distaste. “That floor length one?”

You nodded.

“Dad uses that one to feel tall.” He sneered openly. “It tilts up from below, the worst possible perspective.”

You blinked a few rapid times.

“It took the ruching and blew it up.”

“So it’s not… that bad?”

“It’s anything, it's tasteful!” He spoke with an irritation that said that should have been obvious. “It fits your body well. Does it have a certain allure? Yes, I’ve already spoken of assets, but it is not a piece that invites unnecessary solicitation.”

“Assets, assets. What are you, an ass man?” You retorted automatically.

“There is nothing quite like sinking your teeth into that soft, inviting flesh.” He took your response and held it between his teeth.

In a blink, you saw an imaginary Donatello around your hips pointing to the fabric and on contact with the thought your face exploded.

“I say generally speaking, of course.” He clicked his tongue as if scolding you and turned away toward the water.

Hot.

You were too hot.

Run.

Throwing yourself forward, you submerged as indelicately as possible into the water.

Sinking like a stone into the silence, your burning flesh was quickly soothed by a cold lap.

A sweet embrace, you kicked to the surface and emerged with a pathetic gasp.

Never graceful, you shook yourself free of clingy drops and spun back around to view the rocks.

Donnie was staring up at the sky again and you sort of hated him for it.

Swim.

You’d swim with Mikey.

Spinning around, the other turtle was not only longer floating, but you couldn’t locate him at all. Quickly worrying that you had toppled him in your dive, you swam forward. “Mikey?”

Quieting to listen, you didn’t hear anything past the faint roiling of the water against its container.

Thinking he must have dove, you looked down to find Donnie’s earlier comment to be a correct one. With the water murky to a fault and a new fear cropped up. You had no idea what was in the water and you immediately darted for the closest shore. Something several long feet from Donnie, it was a sort of marshy landing that rocks from below steeping up to meet. They were covered in a slime that clung to your feet and had you pausing until you heard an off-toned lap behind you.

You whirled around with wide eyes and found a sea monster waiting for you.

Something matted with algae, it groaned pathetically and you sucked in enough air until the balloon was full enough to scream.

“What!? Who?! Where?!” The creature splashed with Mikey’s voice.

He’d been captured by another mutant.

You turned to get out of the water with some intention of getting to the tank.

It had to have missiles or something.

Anything to help.

You’d take a bowling ball launcher at this point.

Catching grip with one foot, you hoisted up the other. The many rocks acted like a disjointed ladder and your entire torso emerged from the water before one of your feet slid. The moment it happened felt like you were falling out of time. In slow motion, you knew your face was one of surprise. You painted an open expression where the imminent terror that you were falling couldn’t catch up as neurons to save yourself from the action.

Your mind knew, but your face didn’t know that you were going to crack your head open on the rocks you just slipped on.

“Y/N!”

Two voices.

Too far.

Something skewered your side as the first injury of many.

Hoping only to black out on that first step, you willed your possessions to your friends.

You didn’t bother hoping they would remember you.

You only hoped that they could make some use out of your worldly imprint.

No matter how small it was.

Water rushed to greet you and shoved you away.

That wasn’t right.

That was the wrong direction.

Water swayed like waves.

The equal and opposite reaction wouldn’t come until you fell in.

Why had it preemptively come for you?

Your arms dangled heavily from gravity and you forced your eyes from wherever they had gone.

The monster was right in front of you.

Its face was one of Michelangelo.

Green sludge caught in his blackened locks and his worried expression peered out from between a small part.

He had you by the waist and was holding you up in the air. “Are you okay!?”

You were a loose toy strung up.

Flopping down, lifeless, you were a doll that couldn’t close its eyes until it was laid down.

A second deafening splash came as you hung there.

Mikey’s lips were moving awfully fast.

“Did they hit their head?!” Donnie’s voice broke through.

“No! Above water the whole time! Donnie! They aren’t saying anything, I don’t-”

“Shock?” Donnie wondered, but he never came into frame.

Where was he?

Mikey jostled you as one might bounce a colicky baby.

It was pulling a string on your back and you hacked on contact.

You wheezed, forcing air in where terror had torn it from you.

You fought.

Not Mikey exactly, but the situation.

It strung your arms back.

It shoved your torso forward.

It threw your head skyward.

You gasped, alive.

You saw blue.

It was the sky.

You hadn’t died.

Mikey had saved you.

Finally.

You came down from your arching to translate your joy.

Mikey’s face slid into your vision and he was the picture of a boiled red tomato dotted with summertime spots.

He was looking at you.

He had ogled you.

He was embarrassed.

Your blood pressure plummeted twice as fast as it had when you thought you were about to die.

This was worse.

This time you heard yourself scream as you lashed out.

Water flew up as if to welcome you, to bring you where you were meant to be.

Drowned.

Returned you to that place where you weren’t an object to be viewed.

You were a person floating free.

Liquid carried life.

It supported it.

It didn’t have it.

Vertigo struck you as you moved within a blink.

In a disorientated spiral, your lids fell heavy as your inner ear tried to correct the imbalance.

There were no longer hands around your waist.

Something clicked like an engine uselessly turning over.

Weary, you realized you were standing in a safe spot in the water.

You drew up the dreary blinds of your curtain and found a muscled arm thrown out protectively in front of you.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!!!” Mikey cried, loud and desperate.

“What the hell was that then!?” Donnie’s voice rang close.

That firm limb tucked you further behind someone.

You were being shielded.

A squabble happened in front of you, but you only looked down at the jade appendage acting as your guard rail.

You touched the arm and it felt familiar.

“Don-nie?” Your voice came out synthetic.

His was the body you were behind and his face appeared in a whip of his head. “Are you alright? Can you swim? I’ll move.”

“I’m not…?” You weren’t swimming.

You weren’t doing anything.

You were standing in the water.

“What…?”

You looked past Donnie and glimpsed Mikey with a faint blush still stuck to his cheeks.

“Y-you…!” It felt accusatory on your lips.

“I’m sorry!!!” Mikey screeched.

“Turn around, dummy!” Donnie growled hot and was in motion.

You were soon ushered into a spin with an indelicate hand to your back and all but rushed over to the rock you had jumped off of.

You heard a splash of what you assumed was Mikey growing distant behind you.

You hoped that would cool him off.

“You ready?” Donnie’s voice appeared like it was newly there.

“For what?” You were already used.

What was left?

Was it time to take out the recycling?

“I’m going to lift you up. Your shirt is right there.” Donnie instructed.

“My shirt…” You were forlorn.

It was your back-up comfort item.

“Ready?” Donnie asked again.

The water rocked you and you barely bumped his firm plastron.

You nodded dumbly.

Your hips were taken in what you read as a clinical way.

You were barely bounced once, then twice, in a way that ballet dancers got momentum to lift their partners.

Sure enough, you were lifted cleanly out of the water.

Only this time you felt well handled.

You weren’t swung around like a toddler holding up their favorite doll.

A child who cared for his toys put you on a shelf.

When your knees touched down, you drank in the life of the rock and scrambled for your shirt.

All the things that had just occurred crashed into you.

Shoving your head through the hole, you yanked the shirt down your body as you were already in motion. Forest floor digging into your bare feet, you didn’t need the map to retrace your steps. You followed the single, winding, prickly path and emerged out by the cabin only to fly inside it. A sanctuary amongst the unrelenting woods, you left a rotting drip trail as you entered your room. Your door clattered from where you had thrown it open and you ripped your duffel bag to shreds to get to its confines.

Pulling on layer after layer, you could see Mikey’s blush with each piece of clothing.

He’d looked at you.

You shoved your feet into a third pair of socks.

His gaze was amorous.

Into a thermal that was very much against the season, you ran out of clothes and stormed the dresser.

Sexual.

There were oversized men’s clothes that struck you as maybe being Raph’s and you thanked their huge size.

You put shirt after shirt on.

Mikey had said, point blank, that he wanted to see how far his feelings went.

Why were you so stupid?

You screamed.

Raw and uncut.

Tearing at your larynx, you ripped a few too many layers off as they impeded your melt down.

You needed space to breathe.

You needed to be swallowed whole.

Stumbling out to that accursed mirror, the shape you found there was a frumpy one.

Smiling a teary look at it, you watched it warp your face into one of dismay and you cried.

Where had you last felt okay?

It wasn’t here.

Moving around the room you searched for it.

That intangible something that would help.

Knocking everything over, you finally got a hold of a much too large pillow and hugged it to your body.

It was large and not at all as firm as you wanted.

You needed a hard wall.

You needed that unrelenting nature.

You weren’t something to be judged with heat.

You needed a cold light the sun couldn’t supply.

The wall knocked.

You spun around with your pillow defense to find the back of a head waiting there.

“I come as an emissary.” Donnie spoke slow and methodical.

“You can-!” It wasn’t Mikey.

Your pillow fell slack into one hand.

It wasn’t Mikey.

You let it drop with a thump to the floor.

It wasn’t Mikey.

“…come in.”

You took a wobbly step to spread out your clothed legs in hopes of keeping yourself upright.

Donnie didn’t move.

“You can… come in…” You repeated, not sure if you had gotten the first phrase out.

“No.”

“No…?” You took another step and saw how Donnie was clearly beyond the boundary of your open door.

With his back to you.

Not impeding on you in any way.

“This is your space.” He spoke it like a finality.

You stared at the knot of his mask tails and tried to place what you felt.

“Being out here with us…” Donnie let the sentence hang before he lowered his gaze to the floor. “I want to… respect that much.”

“Why’d you say it like that?”

“I prefer the term ‘sanctum,’ but I couldn’t fit it in.”

“A sacred place…?”

The back of his head nodded. “My lab is supposed to be one.”

Sanctums weren’t places to be invaded.

If they were then they were violated.

He understood.

Is that what you felt?

Camaraderie?

Even his mania in the beginning had been one you made sense of.

Was that why you hadn’t complained?

No, you were rewriting history from your current perspective.

It was also the only one you knew.

It was one where you envied one man.

It was where you once feared another.

Now their roles were reversed.

You never had to explain your misery to Donnie.

You didn’t have to make him understand.

He was the moon.

You rushed towards him.

Donnie heard the footsteps and made it about half a turn before you reached him. “As… I was saying, I talked to Michael and come in his stead to-”

You collided with that unrelenting wall of plastron. Finding an odd hinge between the front of his shell and the back, you did your best to tuck into that space and weaseled under his arm. You felt it rise above you, out of your way and a rotation brought you more towards his front. There you felt him stop to take your over-clothed form in.

“I’m sorry!” You choked on tears, rooting the sound as deep against Donnie’s wet clothes as possible.

He let your misery hang for exactly one second.

Then he surrounded you in a soft moon glow.

He pulled you toward his chest and you burrowed closer to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I completely overreacted. It was just too much… Too much attention… the way he looked. He said… I thought he wouldn’t… I didn’t want…!”

A hand pet through the layers of your back.

Even and careful.

No further connotation other than to soothe.

Squirming to get your arms out from where you were crushing them, you wiggled them free to embrace him.

You squeezed a sigh right out of him.

“I know.” He spoke into your damp head. “I know…”

You nodded and basked in the tide. Pulled by the moon’s orbit, the waves rolled in and out with a sway. A gentle rocking, you were cast a comfortable drift by it. This was the one you had longed for from the swimming hole. Here, you floated amongst sturdy shores. Held safe, the guiding white light poured around you. One that pushed back against the darkness, it shone on you. Lucky to be in its reach, it wasn’t the type you soaked up. It instead washed over you in a cleanse. Feeling lighter and a little stifled, you extracted yourself from moisture to moisture.

Everything around you from your leaking face to the clingy pond water was soaked and you frowned down Donnie’s body. Standing in a little pool mostly created by him, you wanted to stick your tongue out at it, but you feared the bacteria clearly clinging to your skin.

“The cabin is yours tonight.”

Before you could register the words, you felt him strengthen his resolve with a puff of his chest.

“I don’t want to hear complaints otherwise.”

You wanted to pout.

“I checked the systems when we were doing our preliminary cleaning. The water will be hot. Shower, bathe, do whatever you’d like. We’ll be staying outside.”

You gave a faint nod to the wet floor.

“We’ll grill and I’ll make you a plate. Preference?”

You shook your head. “I don’t… feel like eating…”

“Bland it is.”

Now you were pouting.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?” Your head felt heavy.

“I still have a message from Mikey to deliver.”

“I really don’t want to hear it.” Irritation brought you to look at him.

Donnie took you in with a sort of smile. “You’ll want to.”

You dropped your features in a way that said you didn’t believe him.

“He said he’s not ready to talk as he’s having his own crisis, but he’ll let you know when he’s ready to apologize.” Donnie tilted his head, almost amused.

You blinked straight out of your bitterness to stare openly.

Donnie gave a single knowing nod.

“Enjoy your shower.” With one last sweep over you as if to check you were all still there, Donnie turned and headed for the door.

Watching him go, you saw the faint amber hue of sunset.

“It’ll all work out.” Donnie tossed just as he grabbed the knob to exit.

You turned and stormed straight to the bathroom. Drowning in clothes and scum, you locked the door tight and turned the shower knobs to their highest setting. Leaving the water to warm, you started removing your outermost shirt. As soon as it hit the ground you felt possessed. You tore off your clothes with each subsequent layer removed at a faster and faster pace. You needed to be freed. You needed that ridiculous protection off of you as soon as possible. All of it soiled, you stripped down bare and left your feet for last.

The moment they were naked and pressed to tile, you leapt into the old style tub. Instantly boiled by the too hot water, you let it scorch you with clenched teeth at first until the burn seared and you adjusted the dial for something reasonable. Still a lobster in a pot, you scrubbed your skin until you thought it might flake and then doused it in suds until you couldn’t see its color. A sea of white foam, the second scrounge came through, washing the detritus away.

Pickled in the process, you emerged and greedily took up every towel in the room. It meant toeing around the disgusting mound of clothes you’d left, but Donnie had said the cabin was yours. Until tomorrow when you’d clean the place up, you instead mourned how you hadn’t even brought your toothbrush in with you. Scowling at a fog coated mirror, you cracked the door and watched the steam leak out.

Chasing it with your ear, you didn’t hear anything, but there was a distinct lemon scent.

You followed the smell into the hall where you quickly placed it was cleaner. The floor had a sheen to it that spoke of a recent mopping. The clean line ending abruptly at your door said exactly who the culprit was. Donatello had snuck back in to clean and you were thankful for it. He’d left your sanctuary untouched and instead set a stool just outside the door.

On it was a stack of comfortable looking clothes and a note.

‘Keep your room or upgrade. I recommend the one upstairs, second bedroom on the right.’

You folded the note along its lines and placed it back on the offered clothes. You then gathered the lot and took it with you along with a brave face as you entered your room. You barely looked up as you salvaged what you could from your duffel. Carrying the mostly limp sack, you then moved to follow your recommendation. It led you through the darkened cabin and up the winding wooden stairs where the door in question was closed. Knocking on it out of politeness, you found it empty and slipped inside. It was decorated similarly, but clearly different. Comfortable in its own sense, you went about your nightly routine as best you could and thanked the space for not having a mirror. Growing more weary by the second, you thought vaguely of meat as you instead pulled back the covers.

Sinking in and imagining charcoal lighting the men’s faces, you settled down into the welcoming embrace of bed.

You eventually got up and padded across a tiled floor.

Pulling out a single slick piece of black fabric, you double checked the door was closed before changing.

The perfect swimsuit was one you hadn’t imagined you’d find.

What luck, you thought, as you slipped it on.

Stepping into it, you shimmied into the fabric and turned for that show stopping image in the changing room.

It was perfect.

It covered you in all the right ways.

Finally, the piece you’d been looking for.

Smiling and striking pose after pose, you saw a hand wave above the curtain.

“Come in!” You called to it.

Sanctum’s were only to be entered with permission.

“Silly.” You looked over your pleasing image once more. “Is it still a violation if I request it?”

“I guess not.” Instead of drawing the curtain back, Donnie slipped through it.

Tucking himself a strong wall behind you, he looked into the mirror at you.

What looked back held no heat, only appreciation.

“Do you like it?” He checked with you without passing judgment himself.

“I do…” You smiled.

He gave one of his own, though subdued, and flicked his gaze down. “Look here.”

You lowered your gaze to find him kneeling behind you. With his head popped out around your hips, he was looking up at you in a way you liked quite a bit.

You felt powerful.

You were a light bright enough for him to want to project.

“This ruching here has leading lines.” He didn’t touch you, but his hands ghosted over you along the fabric’s pattern.

Your lips parted and your chest filled with heat.

A celestial body was meant to look on.

You were safe.

“May I?” He asked you once again.

You were glad and responded with a breathless, “Please.”

His mouth opened a dark orbital maw, a new moon, which then glinted into a teeth-filled waxing crescent headed in its trek to sink into your soft flesh.

You jolted the moment the teeth supposedly hit their mark.

You stared into the dark abyss and saw drifting images of sharpened grins.

You were dizzy.

A sheen of sweat to you, you tossed back a cover.

The black hovel above you took shape as logs in the cabin ceiling.

They lined up like thick thighs appearing from where board shorts had hiked up.

Begging for a taste.

Awareness struck with a sharp inhale.

Fully awake and doused with dread from your dream, you voiced your despair with a whisper.

“Oh no…”

💛 NEXT 💛

I swear I handed this to my betas over a year ago... @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

#sunshinemoonshinefic #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt x reader #donatello hamato #rise donnie #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt Donnie #rottmnt Michelangelo #rise Michelangelo #Michelangelo hamato #rottmnt mikey #rise mikey #me #fanfiction #my fanfiction #tw body dysmorphia

57 notes · View notes

tervaneula · 1 year

Text

Yuichi hadn’t expected to run into two of his best friends from Neo Edo at the Hidden City markets and he definitely didn’t expect the direction the conversation had eventually taken.

"You're dating a ninja?!" Chizu laughs so hard her breath wheezes and Kitsune stifles a snort into her sleeve. Yuichi's cheeks flush crimson under his fur.

"W-what's so funny about that? You're a ninja!"

"Yes, but I'm not dating an idiot samurai," Chizu says. That makes Kitsune burst into laughter, right in Yuichi's face.

"Oh my gosh, Chizu is right. What does that guy see in you? Is he as big of an idiot as you are? When are you gonna introduce us?!"

Yuichi resists the urge to pull his ears over his eyes and pretend this conversation never happened when he catches a glimpse of a familiar shade of blue against green on the other side of the street. Leonardo is tall and it's not hard to spot him in a crowd, even among yokai.

"Well uh, you're just about to meet him," he mutters, desperately wishing for the heat on his cheeks to cool down. It’s not too obvious say, to a stranger, but Leonardo most definitely isn’t one and he can't have the red-eared slider see right away how embarrassed his friends are able to make him. "And he's not an idiot!"

Kitsune just laughs but her eyes are sparkling with curiosity. Chizu seems interested as well and Yuichi thanks his lucky stars that she's quick to calm down, he doesn't know what he would do if both of his friends were unable to behave in front of his new boyfriend. Luckily (or not) he doesn’t have time to fully spiral into a flustered panic when a voice calls out to him.

“Yuichi!”

He turns towards the approaching turtle and can’t help but smile at the sight of him. The answering grin on the striped face is stupidly handsome and Yuichi forgets all about fighting down the blush on his face. He’s smitten, so what? If he wasn’t already flushed he certainly would be now and Leonardo deserves to see how much he likes him, actually. Something in him settles and the rabbit is certain that despite their teasing, his friends will love Leonardo.

—

“Your friends seem nice,” Leonardo hums on their walk back to Yuichi’s house. The slider had offered to portal him home but instead, Yuichi had asked for a walk and invited him over for a cup of tea. He wasn’t quite ready for the day to end yet.

“Glad you think so,” he smiles, “they really liked you. Not that it was a surprise.”

Leonardo looks a little taken aback by that but he just chuckles and leans against the wall as Yuichi fishes for his keys. He looks a bit tired and the rabbit wonders if it’s the phantom pains again. Well, nothing a big cup of his auntie’s tea won’t help soothe, he smiles softly to himself as the door clicks open and he gives a little bow to the turtle.

“Ladies first!” he jokes, and Leonardo laughs. He ruffles Yuichi’s hair on his way past him and the rabbit sticks his tongue out at him. He might be over forty but age will never stop him from being the impulsive little shit that he has always been. Leonardo, with surprising grace, pretends not to notice and slips on the guest slippers before quickly snatching Yuichi’s bag from his shoulder and disappearing into the kitchen to unload the groceries, humming a tune Yuichi can’t place.

"You two seem like a good match."

Yuichi turns to look at Chizu. She's looking at Leonardo and Kitsune squabbling over the last piece of mochi, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"What?"

"You heard me," she chuckles, shifting her amber eyes to Yuichi. There's a softness in them that takes the rabbit off guard.

"He's a true leader. A brilliant strategist with charisma to match. I can tell. But there's also the burden that comes with it," she lowers her voice toward the end. "He's been through hell – don't look at me like that, he didn't say much but what he did say was enough for me to connect the dots – and this is where you come in. He needs to goof around and be stupid, things that were taken from him too early. He needs to be looked at with fresh eyes, to be loved for who he is now and not for the role he was born to fulfil – and who else is better suited for that than our very own silly rabbit?"

Yuichi belatedly realises his jaw is hanging open and he closes his mouth with a click. Chizu has always been bright, brighter than anyone else in their little found family, maybe save for Karasu-Tengu, but despite the obvious parallels between the two he was not expecting her to jump right into analysing the mutant turtle to the core on their first meeting. As dense as he may be, it doesn’t slip past him how most of the things Chizu said were very true for her all those years back.

"And how is he good for you, in turn?" the cat's eyes glimmer as her mouth twists into a smirk. "He can lend you some of those brain cells you so very desperately need."

Yuichi groans and punches her on the shoulder. She doesn't even flinch, brushing it off with a grin.

Yuichi closes the door behind him slowly, staring after his boyfriend. Chizu's words echo in his mind, I'm happy for you, and his chest feels odd. Full and tight and so, so warm.

He takes a deep breath and feels the expected burst of butterflies settle into something new, calm and gentle. It’s a feeling he hasn’t felt before but somehow he knows what it means.

He can’t wait to feel it more.

610 notes · View notes

desceros · 10 months

Note

Mr. LEON (think late 30's/early 40's) reuniting with his spouse after a long time away. It's sweet, it's silly, it's followed by absolutely nasty half-clothed, sweaty sex.

me, asks for rise leo prompts, instantly regrets it also i'm not saying this is a tactical!leo fic, but i'm also... not NOT saying it leonardo/reader, EXPLICIT, female reader, 2.6k; leo comes back and wants to smell like home again. filthy nasty smut, soft doki dokis, lame married people jokes, one (1) defiled couch

It’s been so long since you’ve seen him, you don’t think twice when you see the rustle of your curtains. Not when you’ve finally, finally trained your stupid heart into not thundering out of your chest when you see it, thinking he’s back when it’s just the breeze. Today, you hardly even glance at them as you continue watering your plants, unbothered, humming, unsuspecting.

It’s so, so typical of him to wait until now to come home.

“Boo!”

Your scream fills the apartment as you flail, pulse rocketing to the atmosphere in panic when you’re very suddenly not alone. Hands catch you mid-flinch, and it takes you a second to realize that your assailant is, in fact, perfectly safe and didn’t deserve the mighty swing of your watering can.

Except actually, yes he did, this little asshole—!

“Leo!” you wail, letting him gather you close and press him to his plastron. Your hands clutch at the edge of his keratin, face burrowing in his throat. “You fucking asshole, you scared the shit out of me!”

“Sorry, sweetheart. Couldn’t resist,” he says, his laughter still rolling at the crown of your head as one hand spreads into your lower back to press you close and the other cups your nape. “You just looked so cute, y’know? My adorable little wifey, wearing my shirt and humming in our living room.”

“Stop talking,” you mutter sulkily, wrapping your arms around his neck and swallowing the tears you feel burning at your eyes as happiness swells in your chest like a mighty wave. He always makes fun of you for crying when he comes home, and you’re already a little miffed.

Your ire dies as you feel him nuzzling behind your ear with his beak, his lungs expanding as he inhales your scent. He’d confessed to you once, a few years into your marriage, that this was his favorite part of coming home; more than the sex, more than the home-cooked meals, more than sleeping in the same bed two nights in a row. He caresses the line of your throat with his beak, stitching your natural perfume back into place in his mind, sinking into you because it’s not the walls around you that he calls home.

“…Missed you,” he murmurs, making you sigh as he brushes lovesick kisses to your shoulder.

“You were gone too long this time,” you tell him, lowering one arm to press a palm to his plastron when you feel his lips seeking more skin, letting him pull the neckline of his shirt away from your clavicle. “Thought you were the breeze, coming in.”

His mouth curves into something filthy at the dip of your throat, his hands finding your hips and giving them a squeeze. “Yeah? Funny. I plan on coming in something, all right.”

You laugh way too hard, a little mortified that after all these years you still find this clown funny at the lamest lines. Worse still is how he watches you do it, his face going stupid with naked fondness like making you laugh is the best thing he’s done all day.

“You are such an unfunny loser, oh my god,” you say, pressing your forehead to his.

“And yet you’re still laughing,” he says, his smile widening when you roll your eyes.

“I’ve been stockholmed,” you tell him, reaching up your hands to cup his beak and pull him into a kiss.

Leo has always been good with his mouth, in every way, all the years you’ve known him. His kisses are no exception; seconds into it you’re purring, the sweet friction of his mouth against yours warming you from the inside, parting on a soft sigh when a hand grips your nape and tilts you just so.

“I wanna fucking eat you alive,” he mumbles against your mouth, his tongue sliding against yours once, twice, three times before he sinks his teeth into your lower lip and tugs. You tremble, and you know he feels it as his hands go a little tighter. “Missed you.”

Your fingers find the tails of his mask, tangling in them and using them to pull his face away, just a little. He growls, but you ignore him easily. “Don’t you want to take a shower, baby? Get comfy while I cook you something to eat? You smell like work.”

“I know,” he says, his other hand sliding down to the cloth shorts that are barely visible beneath the hem of his shirt, his fingers gliding up the back to cup the curve of your ass. “And I wanna smell like you, now.”

…He gets like this, sometimes, when he comes home. Touchy. Possessive. You’ve always wondered if it has to do with how he doesn’t smell himself on you when he’s been gone, or if it’s because you start wearing his clothes like he’ll feel it wherever he is. The longer the separation, the worse he gets.

The worse he gets, the better it is.

“Yeah? You wanna smell like me?” you echo as you trail your touch along the red crescents prettying his face, playing into his turtle-brain, feeling your eyelids close as his fingers flutter on your skin. Oh, he wants it bad. “What do I smell like, handsome? I smell good?”

“So fucking good,” he groans, his huge hand releasing your nape to grip your jaw, pulling you into a kiss that’s wet and deep. It feels good, claws a mangled moan from your chest that has him mirroring the sound himself. He pulls his head back, pressing his thumb to the corner of your mouth and sliding it under your lower lip where you feel the slick mess of his kiss. “…Open,” he says, making your lip pucker under his touch.

You obey, watching his pupils dilate as they lock onto your mouth, then your tongue when you let it press against the pad of his thumb where he’s holding you open.

“Shit. You’re so hot,” he says, a wounded rumble that makes your lips curl into a coquettish smile before you wrap them around his thumb, sucking and lathing it with your tongue, pressing your teeth in and closing your eyes when you hear him moan.

“Not gonna smell much like me by staring at my mouth,” you tell him when you let him go, your hooded eyes meeting his as you smile.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he wheezes, and with three steps he’s got you splayed on your couch, the weight of him pinning you to the cushions while his mouth fucking devours you. All you can do is hold on, one hand tangling in his mask tails and the other clutching as his carapace, crushed and absolutely thrilled about it.

When he breaks the kiss to grip his hands in your shorts, pulling them down, you laugh, drawing his hungry gaze even as he doesn’t stop disrobing you.

“What?” he asks, mouth going just a little crooked in a smile of his own as you shake your head, staring at him adoringly.

“Just love you,” you tell him, shifting your legs to help him out a bit and biting down on a grin when you can finally spread them and slink your knees to either side of his hips. You slip one of your arms over your head to grip one of the throw pillows, your other trailing down your throat to entice. “C��mon, pretty boy. Let me see you drop.”

Leo maintains the stare as he straightens his spine, his hands going to his belt buckle to slide it out of place with a metal clink. The button is quick to follow, and when he unzips and slides his pants down just enough for his cloaca to glisten in the afternoon sunlight, you press your fingers to your mouth, tongue instinctively seeking contact.

“God, look at you,” you whine, your thighs rising to cup his hips and squeeze. “I wanna lick you. Come up here?”

He shakes his head, sliding two of his fingers into your open mouth and pressing on your tongue. “Later, baby. If you want a show, you’ve got, like, thirty seconds for it.”

Moaning, you soak his fingers with your spit, watching with hazy eyes as he brings them to his cloaca and slides in to the knuckle. He’s always rougher with himself than you are with him, even though he’s told you again and again he prefers it when you’re the one fingering him.

He makes pretty little gasping moans as he fingers himself hard, his arm flexing and drawing your hungry gaze. He’s gotten so god damned big over the years, making you feel small every time he does something that highlights the difference. It feels good, makes you feel kept, protected. So long as Leonardo Hamato draws breath, no harm will ever come to you, a promise he has the strength to keep.

“Fuck, fuck,” he grunts, eyes squeezing shut as the slick sounds of his fingers pumping in and out of himself get wetter. It’s a familiar sound that makes you ache, craving the thick cock you know is about to slide out like it’s air.

“You’re so fucking pretty, Leo,” you babble in praise, knowing he likes to hear it, that you like telling him. “Handsome as fuck. God, I can’t believe you’re mine, that you let me see you like this—”

“Shit,” he hisses, pulling his fingers out of you and pressing his cloaca to your cunt, his wet fingers gripping at your hips as he rubs your slick against his. “You can’t talk like that, baby, I’m gonna—”

He cuts himself off on a low groan, his hips rolling against yours and his tail pressing hard between your thighs to garner the friction. It feels so good, so fucking good, your skin burning hot with each messy glide of him against you. Your head rolls, fingers gripping in the pillow behind your head and back arching to try and writhe closer.

“Leo,” you keen, breath heaving when he releases his death grip on the back of the couch to plant his hand by your head, his back arching over you and blocking everything else out.

“Don’t come, don’t you dare come,” he hisses, lips curled into a bit of a snarl. “Not until I’m inside, understand?”

Eyes wet, you nod, choking back the shimmer on your skin that builds as he keeps rubbing cruelly. With one particularly good roll of his hip, you snatch a hand to his bicep, trembling. “Stop, stop—!”

He pauses, letting you claw away from the brink to obey. Sucking in a long breath, you open your eyes and see that he’s staring at you like he’s gone mad.

“Okay?” he asks, voice fucked out, and you nod, whining when he resumes rubbing his cloaca against you, your eyes falling shut and head lolling to the side as you start the burning process all over again.

“Feels so good, Leo,” you breathe, skin glowing when you feel him duck in close and glide his tongue up the side of your neck. You’re soaked all over with sweat and slick, every muscle in your body trembling from taut desire that’s just shy of too-much, leaving you delirious and stupid.

With a hitched breath, Leo reaches between you, fingers preparing you for the familiar penetration you want more than anything else. With a hiss, his body goes taut, his cock dropping and sliding inside like his katana into its sheath; like you were made for him, perfectly molded, expertly designed.

“God, fuck,” he wheezes, his forearms framing your face as he leans down and captures your mouth in a kiss that breaks on a low moan. He pumps his hips against yours slowly, shaking with each breath that has him bottoming out where he belongs. “You feel so—I missed you.”

Floating with pleasure, you cup his nape, wrapping your legs around him as best as you can to pull him deeper, needing to feel him in your throat. Your hands find the back of his head, sliding easily on his rough, sweat-slick skin, seeking his kiss and finding it. “Oh, Leo, love you, love you so much.”

He marries his mouth to yours as he fucks in in in, feeling a bit like he never pulls out for how full he leaves you. Every neuron in your body stands at attention, taking note of his weight crushing you, the smell of his salty skin, the taste of his tongue as it curls against your own.

“Look at me, look at me when you come, pretty girl,” he chokes, because he knows your body better than you do and can tell you’re close before you feel it. You open your eyes and meet his, untying his blue mask and letting it slide to your chest right as you feel your orgasm rising.

“Leo, gonna come,” you whimper, watching as he nods, one hand finding your cheek, his thumb tracing under your eyes where they’re wet.

“Let go, sweetheart. Let me feel it.”

Like you do with everything else, you obey and come. It’s a long, wrenching thing, the pleasure washing over you like waves of a mighty ocean as he keeps moving, prolonging it, intensifying it. On and on it goes, your body awash with ecstasy and Leo, always Leo, there to hold you and let you fall.

“Please,” you gasp, clenching at his carapace, begging him to meet you here in the glow. “Leo, please—”

His hand drops down to your throat, fingers ever so slightly curling around as his hips thrust a little harder, the wet sounds of your hips meeting loud in your ears now that you’re listening for it. It’s filthy, his mouth hanging open and eyes going wild as they gaze at you like you’re the best thing he’s ever seen.

With a wounded sound he comes, his forehead dropping to your shoulder and hand going a little too-tight on your throat as he fills you over and over again, each hot thread coating and claiming in equal measure. You let one hand grip the back of his wrist where he’s choking you, crushing him in harder as he groans and presses into you even further as he finishes, watching as the edges of your vision go a little hazy before he releases you and lets you suck in a gasp of air.

After a few moments of catching your breath, he picks up his head, his beak wrinkling a bit as he stretches his leg out with a hiss. “Gah, fuck, we’re getting too old for couch fucking. Made a fucking mess.”

“Never too old for couch fucking,” you rasp, causing his eyes to fall to where there’s a mark on your throat in the shape of his hand. He licks his lips, and you feel his cock give an interested twitch. “Oh? You gonna make good on that?”

“Too old for back-to-back marathon fucking,” he pouts, though he does arch his hips once in a good sport try that makes your skin light up a bit. “Gimme like, fifteen. I’ll eat you out while we wait, then we can do something about it.”

You raise an imperious eyebrow. “Fifteen minutes of you eating me out? You? Leonardo Hamato? Only fifteen? I can’t believe an imposter of my husband is here when I was so sure it was him.”

He grins, a boyish thing that makes him look younger and captures your heart all over again. “…Yeah, okay. Let’s be ambitious and say half an hour.”

You settle into the couch, waiting for his cock to retreat back into his cloaca and spending the meantime trailing your fingers along the back of his nape, sighing out in delight.

“…I missed you, too,” you tell him, watching as his face smooths out and every concern flies away like a butterfly startled by the breeze because he loves you so, so much and you know it. Then, realizing you hadn’t said it yet, “…Welcome home, Leo.”

“Yeah,” he echoes, bending down and nuzzling his beak against your temple, inhaling deeply with a smile. “I’m home.”

#tmnt #rise #my fic #ask tag #THERE WERE. SO MANY GOOD OPTIONS. Y'ALL SO DELIVERED OH MY GOD. esp the one w the body shot You Know Who You Are #i'm going to write all of them tbh. but this one. oh my god. i could not resist the siren song of dilf leo.#anyway wow. thanks for helping me try to get leo out of my system. it didn't fucking work!!! but we tried and that's all that matters :)#leonardo/reader #rating: e

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anjumbai · 2 months

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American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis – Thoughts

“… and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.”

First of all, this is one huge book. I was skeptical of whether I should really even pick this up, will this put me in another reading slump and yada yada. Surprisingly, I managed to finish it in a very short time. The narration style and dialogues are something I found to be absolutely hilarious. Bret Easton is very crafty with the dialogues he constructs and I don’t understand how he comes up with such elaborate and funny conversations. Honestly, I’d research a little bit more about the book and the writer but there is no network in my country as I’m writing this. So yeah, giving it to you raw.

Can I talk about the movie first? I’ll talk about the movie first. I love Christian Bale. He’s one of my favorite actors, a master at his craft and worthy of respect for his diverse set of roles. His dedication to play a role is unmatched. He starred as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho and I’m glad I watched the movie first. The book is written in first person narrated by our P&P executive, working in murders and executions, Patrick Bateman. And every time I imagine a scenery with this guy, pop, it’s Christian Bale’s goofy ass acting popping up in my head and I absolutely love it. Somebody said while working with Bale that during the shoot of the film, he thought that Bale was deliberately acting horrible. He couldn’t understand why and when the movie came out, his doubts were gone. He seemed like the perfect sociopath, trying his best to fit in while being absolutely horrible at it. His deliberate bad acting just made the character Bateman come to life. It was bad acting to the point it was amazing acting. I don’t know, 10/10 for Christian Bale.

Let’s start off with the contents of the book. The book is a series of narration of the events happening in Bateman’s life and his mind by Bateman himself. There are often whole chapters dedicated to Bateman naming designer and luxury brands, describing popular music bands and their history and what their songs mean, there was even a whole chapter dedicated to his panic attacks; considering he is always high on Xanax, Velium or some other drug. Pages and pages worth of creative and witty dialogue, callbacks or just the total unhinged way of how Patrick treats everyone else when he is on bloodthirst mode. So much to highlight. So much to highlight, cause all of it is just so funny. Something like- “What is this continuing inability you have to evaluate this situation rationally?” when Patrick is being harassed by his fellow gay co-worker(who thinks Patrick loves him cause that one time he was trying to strangle him but dude thought wow Patricks in love with me) is just comedic. Or something like – “Patrick, why aren’t you looking at me?” “I’m ignoring you, Luis.” Just makes me laugh out loud. And of course, the movie. Lines from the movie written out in the book and you’re just sitting there Leonardo DiCaprio-ing all over. “He said the thing.”

All jokes aside, it was also a very clever critique of the free market. All the characters are extremely self-centered to the point of obsessive narcissism, where Pat just takes it up a notch. I don’t need to describe some of the scenes from the movie or the book because I can’t. It’s just not possible, the things Bret writes in the book, to put in a review. If you do wanna see an uncensored review, do pull up your Platinum AmEx card and sign up for my patron, where you’ll find exclusive content. Seriously, if you don’t have a Platinum AmEx card you might as well just be gutter garbage. Did I tell you that Patrick just gave me a face care routine that’ll set me back thousands of dollars but it’ll make me feel, quote, “I feel like shit but look great”?

Overall, my thoughts are all over the place and there’s nothing in particular I want to say about this book. It’s just the day to day life of a psychopath who commits heinous and gorey acts of crime, murder and what not. The book is basically him trying to fit in society while also maintaining his bloodlust. The lines “My nightly bloodlust overflowed into my days and I had to leave the city. My mask of sanity was a victim of impending slippage” sums up the book pretty well. He doesn’t necessarily leave the city all the time but rather he leaves his “I work in finance” façade behind and goes full on Ted Bundy all over the city. Graphic and gorey descriptions of his murder, torture, assault is just horrifying to even imagine. The very fact that someone thought all of this and put it in a book is gut-wrenching alone but let’s just say that the book tries to put some heartfelt moments too. Sentences like “I just want to be loved” are spoken out loud by Patrick after he, pretty graphically, cooks a part of a human body for his dinner. Words are written but not said out loud when Patrick feels love from someone. Genuine, heartfelt love that doesn’t want fame or money or anything else from Patrick, unlike every other girl he has slept with. “yet she weakens me, it’s almost as if she’s making the decision about who I am, and in my own stubborn, willful way I can admit to feeling a pang, something tightening inside, and before I can stop it I find myself almost dazzled and moved that I might have the capacity to accept, though not return, her love.” A slight attempt at humanizing a monster, I’d say. Not very successful. And I found it funny that even until the end of the book, I couldn’t tell most characters apart from one another. Just like in the movie, and I think the movie captured that essence pretty well.

Most of what you can know about the story is summed up pretty well in the movie, except that the book delves into much more comedy and, of course, gore. The movie ends at a better note in my opinion, simply because the part where the movie ends is just one of the few final chapters of the book. The movie couldn’t have done well with what the book offered as its ending and well done to the script writers for that. The book is hilarious, graphic and just a really funny mockery of materialism. It’s definitely worth a read but it does drag on without a proper goal or anything. But did I still enjoy it a lot? Yes, I did. 8/10. Hilarious and witty.

Now you know what to do when life is getting you down. Just tell yourself “You’ve got a negative attitude. That’s what’s stopping you. You need to get your act together.” Wise words, honestly.

Big ideas, guy stuff, boy meets the world, boy gets it.

#book #bookish #book review #bret easton ellis #christian bale #american psycho #the american dream #paul allen

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goodlucktai · 2 years

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give me something that’ll haunt me when you’re not around

chapter six: my heart and the earth share the same rule

rise of the tmnt pairing: leoichi (leonardo / usagi yuichi) word count: 2k title borrowed from meteor shower by cavetown post-movie

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“Leo,” Raphael says softly.

Leonardo doesn’t seem to hear him. He’s braced for an attack. The sling is in two pieces at his feet.

Time inside the barn is frozen. This horrible moment drags on towards infinity.

April tries next, her voice trembling. “Leo, baby, it’s okay. You’re not in danger. He’s long gone, he’s never gonna hurt you again. I’d never let anybody hurt you, Blue.”

Leonardo’s gaze darts toward her, but only briefly. His eyes are nearly black with fear, pupils swallowing up all the gold. His bad arm is trembling so hard that Yuichi has no idea how he’s holding a sword steady in that hand.

Running footsteps are their only warning before Auntie bursts inside, ears upright on top of her head. Clearly she heard the noise and ran across the farm as fast as her prosthetic leg would allow. She only slows down when she sees for herself that no one is hurt.

“Fuck,” Yuma says, hand pressed to her chest. She leans into Auntie’s worried arms, which gives away how rattled she is. “It’s okay, we’re okay. The farmbotto came right up behind him and it—I think it scared him.”

The robot in question is a harvester. It’s huge, with a lot of moving parts, and it towers over Yuichi. Anyone might have panicked to have it lumber up behind them unexpectedly. Those accessories are no joke.

But this—this isn’t normal panic. This is Leonardo hardly able to breathe, gasping for air like he can’t get enough into his lungs, hands white-knuckled around the hilts of his katana. Blue sparks are spitting from the blades. His stripes are beginning to glow in the gloom of the barn.

When Raphael approaches, Leonardo’s eyes linger a little longer this time. They cut away again when the downed robot twitches. He’s teetering on the brink of fight or flight, as if every inch of his body wants to burst into movement, but something holds him back.

“When has April ever been wrong, huh, big man?” Raphael asks him gently. All the heartbreak on his face doesn’t make it to his voice. He sounds steady and solid, like he’s ready to move mountains if Leonardo would only ask him to. It begins to soothe even Yuichi’s rankled nerves. “Put those down, you don’t need ‘em. You don’t need to go anywhere.”

Leonardo drops the swords with a clatter, a mechanical wrenching open of his hands. An act of faith, unthinking and automatic, maybe before he was fully ready to go unarmed. His next gulping breath is more of a sob. His hands are empty and he’s alone and he’s afraid.

But a second later Raphael is right in front of him, on his knees so that he and Leonardo are of a similar height. What must be a full lifetime of absolute trust goes to work, does all the heavy-lifting, because the minute his big brother is front and center, Leonardo’s erratic breathing starts to slow into something more regular.

Raphael offers his hands to hold instead of another weapon. When Leonardo takes them, he folds his big fingers around Leonardo’s much smaller ones and holds on tight. It looks like it would take a whole entire second world-ending scenario to make him let go, and even then, he wouldn’t do it without a fight.

“I’m here. You’re safe with me, Leo. Raph’s here.”

Tears drip silently down the striped turtle’s face. He leans forward, straining against himself and the footprint of that awful fear, and Raphael meets him halfway, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close and tight.

Yuichi isn’t aware of moving until he’s standing at Raphael’s shoulder. He doesn’t remember how to breathe or think or be a person at all. Raphael doesn’t twitch as he approaches, doesn’t lift his head from where it’s tucked securely over his little brother’s, but he doesn’t need to.

“It’s okay, Usagi,” he says sotto voce. “That one wasn’t one of the worse ones. He’s okay.”

“Okay,” Yuichi parrots hoarsely. He folds to his knees and shuffles as close as he can, until he’s pressed against Raphael’s arm.

“Your boy’s here,” Raphael says for Leonardo’s benefit. “Will that help prove it? Bet you didn’t have anything warm and fluffy in the prison dimension, huh?”

The what?

Raphael gives Yuichi a speaking look. Yuichi reaches over carefully to touch Leonardo’s shoulder. The purple hoodie has slipped down a bit and the moment Yuichi’s fur brushes his scaly skin, a shudder runs through his whole body.

“We’re on the farm, remember? We were looking at the baby dinosaurs,” Yuichi says. His voice is flat and quiet, the way it gets when he’s overwhelmed, and for a brief, stunning moment, he hates himself and the way he is. He can’t even be normal now? When Leonardo needs comfort? Still, he has to give him something, so he adds, “I know my family is a lot to deal with, but you’re not getting out of this that easy.”

Raphael exhales sharply, the echo of a laugh. The last bit of tension finally goes out of Leonardo on the back of a sigh.

Yuichi can hear April talking somewhere behind them, her voice thick and wet with tears.

“—so sorry, about the—the robot thing, he didn’t mean to.”

“I can see that. Don’t you worry about that silly old machine,” Auntie replies at once.

“I’ll get Donnie to come fix it right away. I swear, better than new. He’ll probably put in something stupid, like a speaker system, or a Skittles dispenser, but—”

“Sweetheart, the robot is the last thing on my mind,” Auntie says, her tone gentle and no-nonsense at the same time. “Harvest season is practically over and it won’t kill my kids to get some work done the old-fashioned way for the next couple of days. I won’t hear anymore about it.”

“He was so excited to come here,” April mutters, a past-tense that puts a lump in Yuichi’s throat.

“He’s welcome back any time. Let’s get him inside.”

Raphael stands up with Leonardo tucked in his arms, face buried against the crook of his neck and shoulder. He’s awake, but clearly out of it, eyes glassy and half-lidded. April picks his swords up and wraps her jacket around the blades so she can hold them close to her chest, a substitution for holding the turtle they belong to.

“We’ll just head home,” Raphael starts, but he quails immediately under Auntie’s expression. In another time it would be hilarious, considering she’s maybe a third of his size.

“And let that poor boy get sick all over again? No, you’ll come inside and call your family, and let the little dear rest awhile.”

Auntie’s word is law pretty much everywhere, but especially here. So that’s what they do.

It hasn’t started raining yet, but the farmhouse and the fields are painting in dark shades of gray, and the air smells like ozone, pungent and sharp. It’s cold, and Leonardo’s shivering, and it’s making Raphael’s face do grim things. Yuichi, generally a fan of thunderstorms, abruptly resents the weather.

April is stroking Leonardo’s forehead, murmuring to him in what sounds like Japanese. There’s a glowing sheen to her eyes when she lifts her head, but it’s gone the next time she blinks. A trick of the light, maybe.

Yuichi stays behind to help Yuma round up the hatchlings, and she kindly doesn’t mention his shaking hands. The broken farmbotto in the middle of the barn floor is an elephant in the room they’re both pointedly edging around.

The sky breaks open when he and his cousin are halfway up to the house, so they’re soaked by the time they make it inside. Yuma nudges their shoulders together gently before she peels off toward the bathroom.

With a towel from the linen closet draped over his head, Yuichi goes looking for Leonardo.

Raphael glances up when the guest room door opens. He offers a smile but it’s a pale imitation of the real thing. Leonardo is tucked under about a hundred homemade quilts and appears to be deeply asleep.

The bedside lamp casts the room in soft orange light. Rain is drumming against the windows, and the occasional rumble of thunder is faraway and harmless.

“April’s calling pops,” Raphael says to explain her absence. “Sorry in advance if your house gets invaded by a bunch of insane people in the next hour or so, but it wouldn’t have been fair not to tell them.”

Yuichi picks up a chair and carries it over to the bed, parking it next to Raphael’s and then slumping into it.

“It’s okay,” Yuichi says. His tone is still—ugh. He tries again. “Really. You already almost lost him once. It must have been horrible. Like I said before. I get it.”

“Of course it was,” Raphael says abruptly. “It was terrifying. Every day he didn’t wake up was the new worst day of my life. But…”

He clenches his fists. His eyes look closer to red than brown in the warmly lit room.

“He almost killed himself,” the big turtle blurts. “Not—not got killed, get it? Killed himself. He threw himself into a nightmare dimension with a monster who blew our strongest attacks away with the flick of one finger and then locked the door behind him. It’s a joke, how strong that guy was, and Leo—to protect us, to save everyone else, Leo—”

Yuichi feels numb. There’s a creeping sensation in the pit of his stomach, skin-crawling horror making a home for itself in his brain and his understanding of the world, but all of that is far away right now. He just feels cold.

Raphael picks up one of Leonardo’s hands and holds it carefully. His mouth is trembling, like if he were any other person, in any other place, he’d let himself start bawling.

“It was my fault,” he goes on. “I pushed him so hard to be a hero, and when the time came, he tried. He did what he thought he was supposed to. And then he was alone with that—that thing—and it hurt him, it almost killed him, but it—it was mean to him, too. My little brother, my little star, and it was so mean to him. We heard some of it on the—the comms, before—”

Raphael covers his face with one hand, the other still wrapped carefully around Leonardo’s limp one.

God, it’s no wonder Leonardo’s family hardly lets him out of their sight. Yuichi really didn’t appreciate how much of a miracle it was that Leonardo showed up for the visit today.

They’re all trying to cope with what happened, but how could they possibly? It doesn't even matter that they got him back, they still lost him in the first place. How do they come to terms with that? How does Yuichi?

“I thought Leo was dead.” Raphael admits this in a shameful whisper. “When Mikey opened that portal to save him, I thought it was already too late. But I still let him try. I—I didn’t want Leo to be somewhere cold. All by himself where, uh, where we couldn’t take care of him. I wanted to bring him home.” He lifts Leonardo’s hand, pressing it against his cheek, full of misery and love and fear that isn’t old enough to be a scar yet, still a gaping wound across his memories. “It feels like I failed him. Like I left a piece of him behind. He’s hurting and he won’t talk to me.”

Yuichi doesn’t even realize he’s going to speak until he says, “Leonardo talks about you constantly. I have the texts to prove it.”

It seems to take Raphael by surprise. He glances sideways at him, eyes wet with tears he hasn’t let go of yet. Yuichi plucks at the frayed edge of the damp towel he’s still wearing and just goes for it.

“He—he adores you,” he says, as earnestly as he knows how. This is the absolute truth but he doesn’t want it to get lost somewhere in his tone or expression. “He wants to be everything you think he is. If he’s… not telling you certain things, then… he probably just doesn’t want to disappoint you again.”

Raphael stares at him like he’s just started throwing things around the room.

“He could never—”

“Hey, I know that,” Yuichi cuts him off pointedly, and tips his head toward the bed, as if to say, he’s the idiot that doesn’t get it.

A scuffing sound at the window has them both looking up. It squeaks open on tired hinges, and a pale little head at the end of a long, snakelike neck pokes its way inside.

That tiny hatchling from the barn climbs into the room with a lot of noisy scrabbling and lands in a clumsy heap on the floor.

Undeterred, she shakes off the rain and searches the room with grave yellow eyes. When she spots the figure on the bed she bursts into a scuttling run, clambering up the side of the bed with little fistfuls of the quilt.

Yuichi and Raphael watch in stunned silence as the tokage trips her way across Leonardo’s body. She gives the other two a deeply suspicious look, leans in really close to inspect Leonardo’s face, then seems convinced that this is the turtle she’s looking for.

She curls herself into a ball the size of Yuichi’s palm, tucks her long tail tight around her body, and goes to sleep right there on Leonardo’s cracked plastron.

It’s completely absurd, but mostly it’s adorable.

“How did she even—?” Raphael starts, bewildered.

Yuichi laughs before he can help it, way before he thought he’d ever laugh again. He finds himself hoping April comes back into the room soon so she can get a picture.

“Looks like your brother found himself a keeper,” Yuichi says, glancing up at Raphael.

Raphael is already looking back at him. He still looks sad and tired, but there’s warmth and affection on his face, too. It seems to be his default setting. Even after everything, even with all the new stress and misery and concern piled on top, that doesn’t change.

It makes sense that he’s the biggest of his siblings, since he has so much caring to carry around with him everywhere he goes.

“Yeah,” Raphael says with a quiet smile. “Looks like.”

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #leoichi #usagi yuichi #hamato raphael #hamato leonardo #april o'neil #my writing #bushido boyfriends #tmnt fic #these bright blue city lights

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geoblitzz · 2 years

Text

Mini fic???

So I don’t have the time or energy to draw this idea rn because I’m very busy and already working on my lfls comic, so I thought I’d try to write it. My narrative writing is rusty so don’t flame me lol (update: I edited it a bit, just added some details and flourishes)

I really like the Rise Movie AU where future Leo gets through the time portal as well, and interacts with all his brothers again. (So much good angst opportunities!) In this AU, with the help of future Leo and Casey jr, they get the key back seal the Krang instead of Raph being kidnapped. This angsty scene(s?) idea came to me at 4:30 in the morning and I just had to get it down- this is maybe a few weeks post movie where future Leo has moved in with the Rise boys. (I refer to Future Leo as Leonardo, and young Leo as just Leo! Hope that makes it easier!)

I’m no fic writer 👀 but I hope y’all enjoy!

Leonardo ground his teeth. He usually could handle the jabs and the puns, but apparently not today. Of course, Leonardo couldn’t be happier about having this second chance. Where, in this new reality, if he closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of his alternate brothers run around the lair, it all seemed like a bad dream.

BUT. One thing was getting on his nerves, one thing he hadn’t quite anticipated: himself. Or, his younger self, that is. There was just something about his other self that rubbed him the wrong way.

He wondered if it was because his shorter, louder counterpart was a reminder of everything about himself he had to leave behind. His performative ego, his endless jokes, and the flamboyant flair he used to bring to every conversation- all of it haunting him like the ghost of who he used to be, a reminder that this family wasn’t his family… Or maybe, Leonardo really was more annoying as a kid than he remembered.

But today was already a bad day. He had intended to sleep in, to catch up on a fraction of the years of sleepless nights, but he instead had woken up to angry yelling and shouting. Leonardo nearly had a panic attack. It had all been fine, of course. The Krang were gone, and he knew that, and yet… The reason for the noise had been Mikey arguing with the others over his recent victory in another “all-night-video-game-ultra-mega-championship,” as they called it, and it had apparently been a very close win.

Leonardo had rushed in to see what was going on, weapons drawn, only to be greeted by 3 sleep deprived sore losers, and one very sore winner. “You’re just mad you don’t have my mad skills!” Mikey had taunted gleefully from a pile of cushions, “AND YOU NEVER WILL!!” he giggled, running past Leonardo to run to the kitchen. His other self and the younger Donnie followed swiftly behind, followed by “oh yeah?” and “we’ll see about that, Miguel!”

“You okay there, Leo?” Raph said, snapping him from his thoughts. Leonardo sighed, “Yes, sorry-Raph.” His voice caught on his brother’s name, the syllable catching in his throat. He hadn’t said it in a long time. “You sure? ‘Cause you may be old, but Istill know a sad Leo when I see one. Can’t pull one over on big brother Raph! …Or, I guess… little brother Raph?” He offered, giving a shy smile.” Leonardo let out a small laugh, and his heart twisted. Images of his past flashed through his mind as he remembered his own Raph, and how he too had been focused on others, even while he lay dying. He shook the thought away. “No, buddy. I’m fine, really. Just… getting used to seeing everyone.” The “again” left off of the statement hung heavy in the air, unspoken. “Okay, well, if you need anything, I’m here to talk. We all are.” Raph patted Leonardo’s robotic arm as he, too, moved to the kitchen for breakfast. Leonardo didn’t follow.

With an eventful morning behind him, Leonardo now stood in the training room, blowing off some steam. He had removed his bulky prosthetic, allowing his skin to breath as he went to work on a punching bag. (He also knew that his metallic enhancement packed quite the punch, so to speak, and didn’t want to break their things.) He continued to grind his teeth absent minded, and could hear a quiet purple thought berating him for it, about how there were no dentists, let alone ones mutant dentists, in the wasteland of New York. Other multi-colored jabs and laughs climbed his consciousness like bittersweet cobwebs that couldn’t be cleared. He ignored the thoughts best he could and struck harder. He kicked and punched with his good arm, and finally got a rhythm going when his focus was broken by an all too familiar voice.

“Working on the old 1-2, ey old me?” Leo said, bouncing on his feet and holding up his fists in a faux fight stance.

Leonardo paused. He hadn’t even heard Leo come in the room. Not now, he thought. Please not now.

“or should I say just the 1? Haa! Up top!”

His younger self held up a hand for a high five, but Leonardo just sighed and began to go at the bag again. Leo awkwardly tried to play it off, scooping his hand behind his head. “Sooo,” he began, “what’s been going on in that old nog of ours? Cause I kinda get the feeling somethings up, I mean, you never miss Mikey’s breakfast, but I’m not sure- You’d think I’d be pretty good at reading myself, but I guess I fall a little short,” he said, emphasizing their height difference with another wave of his hand in a mock salute gesture.

Leonardo’s rhythm was fully thrown off now, and sighed as he turned to face himself. “You sure talk with your hands alot,” he said, his one hand on his hip. “Well, sure!” the younger him replied, throwing on his trademark smirk, “guess you kinda don’t though, right?” Leonardo huffed, “look kid, I’m really not in the mood.” He brushed past Leo and stated towards the doorway.

“What, no time for some self love and, one could say, brotherly bonding?” Leo said, his tone full of fake hurt.

“Nope.” Leonardo said, not even turning to face him.

“Uh, aren’t you forgetting something?”

Leo turned and realized he had left his replacement appendage on the floor, though now it was haphazardly draped over his other self’s shoulders.

“Please don’t play with that-“ Leonardo began, but he was quickly cut off by his own voice-

“I have to say it is rather disarming to see you without it.”

Leonardo lunged for the arm, but he wasn’t fully used to swift movements without the extra weight, so the spryer Leo easily dodged.

“I got to hand it to you though, it’s a very cool arm.” Another dodge. “Bet it’s good for fighting, too. D’you get it from an arms dealer?” Leo hefted the arm like a bat, the elbow bending and creaking at a tense angle.

“Leo, careful-“ Leo laughed as he, again, dodged under Leonardo’s reaching hand.

“Can it shoot lasers or anything?” He mused, turning it over at an odd angle, and the joint made a painful sound as it jostled. A chill ran through Leonardo, as a phantom pain shoot through his stump, and the memory of impossibly sharp tentacles flooded his thoughts.

“THAT DOES IT-“ Leonardo roared, tackling his younger self, sending the arm clattering to the floor. He pressed Leo into the mat, able to pin him with just one hand. “I’ve had it up to HERE with your nonsense, Leo,” he spit, “I can take a good joke, believe me! I’m YOU, for crying out loud, but you DO. NOT. mess around with and joke about my arm. About everything I sacrificed, about what WE ALL sacrificed! About the last thing Don made for Raph, and the feeling of taking it back, and what I had to…to…” A droplet of wet fell onto his younger face. He was crying. The last time cried was…

He refocused his blurry eyes beneath him. His younger self lay shocked and speechless. He almost looked afraid. Leonardo pulled his arm away, releasing Leo and drawing into a seat on the floor, holding up his head with his hand. “…I’m sorry,” he managed, letting his eyes dry.

“I… no, don’t worry about it.” Leo said quietly, as he stood and gingerly picked up the large prosthetic. He walked it back to where his older self sat, and placed it by his side. “I didn’t realize it was… so important,” he continued, “I actually do think its really cool- but that seems kinda stupid now, huh.”

Leonardo sighed. “We’re both a little stupid, kid.” He said, jostling Leo’s head with his hand, “That’s something about us that doesn’t go away, trust me.” His younger self grinned, “oh darn, there goes my secret dream of overthrowing Donnie!” He said sarcastically, both of them unable to resist a joke even in the midst of an serious conversation.

“Well, some things never change, Lil Leo,” Leonardo said, as he re-attached his link to the past, readjusting its heavy weight. “Some things never change.” Leonardo stood and offered Leo a non-metal hand up. He took it.

“They sure don’t!” Leo smiled, “You hungry? Cause Mikey made way too much mac and cheese again.” Leonardo chuckled, “Of course he did.” A genuine, relaxed smile spread across Leonardo’s face for the first time in since they closed the portal door.

“Of course he did.”

End

It’s a LOT longer than I meant it to be and idk I think the pacing is a bit off, but I wrote and edited it in 3 hours as the sun rose so I can live with that. Let me know your thoughts!!

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #angst #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt movie #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt raph #rise movie AU #future leo #geos writing

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blindaysblogforturtles · 1 year

Note

How different are the events that lead up to Leo getting double mutated other than switching places with Karai?

The first canon divergence is that Karai and Leo stabilish a friendship much earlier, and Leo stops flirting alltogether when he starts suspecting Karai might be Miwa- and never does it again. They joke about it often, tho, for Splinter's dismay.

"About you and Leonardo..." he shifted uncomfortably. "Are you two..."

He raised an eyebrow and moved his hand around towards her. Karai blushed.

"No! No, no, Leo and I aren't..." She cringed and waved her hands enthusiastically. "I promise, there's nothing like that between us! That'd be super awkward."

Splinter hummed in satisfaction and smoothed his beard, guiding her towards the living room once again.

"Though I wouldn't dare oppose to the arrangement given the context of your childhood... I'm much happy it is like this." He gave her an agreeing look. "It would be super awkward."

Te second is that Karai spends much more time in the sewers with them before sprinting on revenge, and only does so after a major event that makes her hatred burn brighter than before. The third is thar she doesn't go without telling anyone. Leo stops her to ask wtf is she planning and she convinces him into a compromise where if she doesn't message him in 2 hours he could panic and do whatever he wanted.

The last one before the major event (Leo getting mutated) is that he actually manages to save her from the cage, but she gets really injured because of it and a lot of her blood gets in contact with Leo and falls into the mutagen. So, when he does too, it comes with a few surprises.

Also Baxter and Shredder suck.

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raphieeee · 1 year

Text

CW: maggots

Leo is in another dimension. There’s a version of his family in this one, only they’re all the same breed of turtle and seem to have slight differences in who they are as people, though the similarities are heartwarming.

Leo is a medic and that gives him the insight to realise that something is wrong with Raphael. The smaller, more emotionally struggling version of his dear brother bear. He’s sickly but it’s subtle, like he’s drained of energy and fighting fatigue. He’s also rubbing the back of his neck like crazy. Leo figures it out quick, having seen the same thing happen to his own Raph. A maggot like bot fly infection.

He sits Raph down after managing to convince him to let Leo investigate his neck, about to explain when the brothers come in. Leonardo notices his counterparts serious expression, something new to him, and asks what’s wrong. “Raph, have you had an injury on your neck recently?”

Donnie replies, “he had a small cut a couple weeks back, but it wasn’t anything I thought warranted concern. Why?”

Leo sighs deeply, feeling as old as he pretended not to be. “It wasn’t cleaned… Raph, I need you to stay calm. I believe, well I know, that there is a lava infestation in your neck.”

Raph immediately starts to panic, chest heaving in gulps of air as tears threaten to spill. His brothers, who Leo knows can be rather ignorant to each others triggers and tells, treat it serious enough but still make room for a few jokes about Raph’s fear of bugs and him now ‘mothering’ some. Raph doesn’t even tell, too scared and in his own head.

Leo won’t let him, “ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!”

The room quiets.

“Raph, look at me. That’s it, just listen to me, okay? I’m going to help you. I’ve seen and treated this before, I know what to do. It’s going to be okay, I swear on my Ninpō and the whole Hamato Clan. After I’m done we can kill all the lava and then I’ll teach you how to make sure it doesn’t happen again, okay? Does that sound good?”

Raph manages to calm down, though he holds an iron grip on Leo’s arm. He nods at him as his lower lip quivers and a few sniffles echo through the room, causing his brothers to break and start swarming him to comfort and assist.

Leo keeps his promise, even killing the lava when Raph can’t bare to look at them.

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt raphael #2012 raphael #rottmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise leo

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nani-nonny · 11 months

Note

So now!! The waited part two AND ch 16 of WDS IS HERE!!!✨✨✨✨✨ AM SCREAMING

I really really love how when i wake up at like idk 7 AM or so in the morning only to see multiple notification and one of those are your fic notification!! It makes me already giddy and stimmimg trying to calm my heart before i start reading and then stops remembering i have a morning routine to do first before that!!

So back to the review (trust me, my heart STILL beating fast even remembering the fic✨✨ that's how badly am excited!), We start back at the kids FIGHTING tooth and nail for our peepaw's attention! I just looves it, it's funny and oddly wholesome, and leo begin a grumpy old man - with too much PTSD in that shell - is just sitting there and watching the drama unfolds while trying - keyword trying but not hard enough - to stop them ONLY to be saved by old man splinter 😂

Man why do i feel splinter WANTS to say " get use to it because it's gonna happen daily " and walk as the ghost brothers and sister give them their privacy that they needed, it is right that after the scary battle, the injuries and taking care of everybody? Big blue didn't have his time to let... Well.. Everything sink in his brain! It's like delay panic.

I feel so happy that splinter asked f!leo to go with him shopping because he not only needed some sort of quite but quality time with his dad! So they teleport to hidden city market and it does remind me of few funny things (something relate to my memories when i was just a little girl).

Splinter giving leo ONE job to do and he fail miserably - i don't kinda blame him, IT'S BEEN 20 YEARS! -.

I... LOVE how he is able to avoid scammers and pickpocketers, this screams how well aware leo is and i LOVE IT!! The cool vibes of " i may be old but don't mess with me! " vibes 🤩

He finally meets the 03 cat klunk! (03 tmnt Mikey had an orange cat i don't remember if it was named klunk or not), and just knowing her lower part is broken just BREAK my sensitive heart, i can't bear to see an animal hurt THIS bad especially if they can't defend themselves.

And we reach the 2nd part the spoiled clip part of the store owner, before we continue this guy reminded me of that one background guy in cass apocalypse comic where he was screaming at casey when leo turned smol? Remember him? Yeah he reminds me of that guy.

So back at store owner he drops jokes, insults and comments left and right - missus pfft - and we reach that champion pants, believe me i almost SCREAMED FOR THAT PANTS!! THEY FIT HIM!! tho he didn't wear it yet - wait is I'm blue fic, big blue wear them?? -

I honestly never thought leo would drop the WHOLE summary of his existence and war to the store owner but man, HE BELIEVED HIM?!?! WUT?!

So NOW leo - with cute little Klunk - going to find ol' splinter and he's fighting so hard for a discount - ngl that reminds me of my mom, she fought a guy for 15% discount - and then dropping the tea!🤣 i honestly wished i was there to egg him on " spill the tea sis! Spill the tea! ".

Leo luckily went back home without much difficulty only to see a new challenger had been added to the fight... CJ! Now my bet is with CJ! He will kick ass.

Am glad Klunk was there to calm everyone down because i think they would've been to the second phase; using REAL weapons.

I think because leo was older he was weak against orange's puppy eyes - AND EVEN SAID WE TOOK DONNIE IN 😂😂😂😂-.

But then realize blue is missing and that gets me worried a bit, maybe it's the part where he and blue play video games? Hopefully.

Oh geez I wanted to reply to this sooner but I got a bit busy

Anyways,

Leonardo not trying hard enough to stop the teens from acting up and messing around the lair is peak fatherhood. As long as he doesn’t hear crying then they’re okay /j

Delayed panic is perfect for Leonardo’s situation lol, it was one after the other for him. He honestly didn’t get a true moment of rest.

Splinter is lowkey trying to solve the issue with Leonardo referring to him as “Splinter” instead of “Dad”/hj. Gotta spend quality time with Leonardo to fix, even if Leonardo can’t do the one thing he asked lol

Leonardo’s awareness being so high is so important to me you don’t even know /j he won’t let any detail slip past him

Yes Klunk! I honestly spent a good amount of time thinking about what to name the kitty but then I remembered 03 Mikey’s cat and thought to give the kitty the same name as homage or I guess Easter egg to a really good show

The yokai clothing hop owner that Leonardo met was kind of inspired by the real talkative (questionable) guy from the first chapter of DMD hehe. But selling the champion pants is totally not referring to the battle nexus (in a silly way, we won’t be getting Leonardo in big mama’s ring) but I like to think that there are yokai who sell off brand battle nexus champ merch lol

And Leonardo admitting to his creation (although twisting the truth to seem a little more believable for the yokai) made me laugh a little because he said it either such conviction that it was believable lol

Leonardo returning to the chaos was a struggle there were so many people to take account for in writing but blue going missing kind of makes it easier

Sadly we won’t be getting the moment where Leonardo and blue play games and that won’t happen until Casey jr gets into school. :)

Thank you for taking the time to write this review(?) of ch.16! It means so much :))))) <33333

#whispers of distant souls #nani nonny answers #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt future leo

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paranormalacademia · 2 years

Text

HUGE VENT SORRY ITS JUST ME RAMBLING READ TWS

Not to be a total loser because I knew being on birth control would make me gain weight and that sucks!!! I hate this blocky ass body where my ‘middle’ is under my ribs and not at my hips where it should be GRAAAH Not only does this house never buy food and when they do it’s a fucking loaf of bread to put in the freezer so the most I eat is like a pickle and some crackers most days if even that

I’m considering relapsing because A. I hate this busted body B. If I’m thinking about something else I won’t have these reoccurring nightmares about people I used to know that I can’t even remember the faces of [ Like what is the importance of me dreaming about the little girl I used to play with outside the apartment complex?? I know she could never hurt me nor would she but it doesn’t make it any less scary when I wake up in a cold sweat after feeling her tear into my bones in the most realistic way ] or the fucking apocalypse C. I got seasonal depression in the spring and I’ve been happening episodes in which I cannot disclose because My therapist would not condone it [ I don’t have a therapist, nor am I talking about physical self harm ]

I had like three panic attacks in a day recently which ended in my math teacher giving me a free pass on all group work things so I don’t have to do group work anymore #TeamAutism

The thing is it’s really easy to relapse right now with the alcohol under my pillow and the constant lack of food anyways and it’s really hard to be a person

I’ve tried to get back into my interests !! I’ve told Bee and Emma and A few others about Polar , The Talented Mister Ripley [ I even let one of them borrow my copy of Book 1 and when they’re done I have the others ] , Six of Crows, The Raven Cycle [ Big into this because Jaye, Navy, and The Hades Sys ( I forgot what he’s going by overall 😭 I’ve just called him Whoever’s been in front for like the past three years ) like my cosplays and we joke about it all the time , me and Navy make our own storylines and designs when we get bored ] , Phantom of the opera I only go back to when I’m manic or extremely depressed, I adore the Paranormal and bad horror movies and I really like this one specific movie about a real life conman and he’s played by that asshole Leonardo Di Caprio but it’s my favorite movie and nobody knows that I don’t remember anyone ever asking my real favorite movie before but it’s Catch Me If You Can and it’s not because it’s a good move r because it’s not really but because it’s something I watched that encapsulated my current interest at the time

It’s very hard to remember what you like when You have several different mental illnesses that cause memory loss

Sure, I’m a terrible person, whatever! But I think that the thought that I can’t feel because I’m a terrible person is very, very strange to think

I’m not a terrible person because I can’t feel or you don’t think I love you or you thought that I manipulated you the entire time just as a way to feel in control or hurt you

I don’t mind if you think that way because perspective is key, I’m not the one who was affected by my actions because I can’t even remember them no matter how hard I try - I mean, I’ve already forgotten a year ago almost completely but I am not a bad person because of my inability to feel love correctly . There are many other reasons why I can be viewed as a bad person

I’ll see someone do something and based on how someone reacts then that’s how I model myself and this isn’t entirely the best thing to do because when I grew up I was very poor and my parents fought so much that one of my earliest memory is the sound of shattering glass and me telling my baby sister about how I threw the biggest, most wonderful princess ball and someone smashed Cinderella’s slipper and that’s why glass was everywhere and she believed me

Just like how she believed me when I told her own cat fought a bear and that’s why we never saw him come around anymore or how when I told her she could sleep in my bed it was because I was about six when my hallucinations started and I thought they were real so I kept her close so she wouldn’t be murdered

Bitches be so normal and then repressed memories come back up in the form of dreams and I cannot make this up I woke up and felt hands on my thighs and inside me and I was awake, I know I was because I could see my desk light illuminating my childhood Elmo doll that was destroyed over a decade again until it was over and suddenly the hands were gone and so was the doll

The hands felt so real , I could feel the pressure and the muscles flexing as they held my thighs apart and all I could think was “There is nobody there.” But I know something happened because my legs were shaking and the hands wouldn’t stop until I curled up as tight as I could with my mask on

Musta been a punishment for something, right? I mean, people like me deserve shit like that, right? Bad people deserve bad things is what I’ve heard tons of people say

I have a very difficult relationship with sex and my body

Most sexual relationships I’ve had I’ve dissociated through whether they were coerced or not [ usually coerced because I have no ride home and I don’t want to be murdered even though we were supposed to be hanging out in fucking public ] and I suppose that’s fine if someone gets use out of this lump of flesh

It’s not fine, really

I’m not allowed to be violent either because violence makes me a worse person, even if I defend myself

Someone fed into my addictions recently

Fed me drugs and alcohol and encouraged me to steal

Got me blackout drunk and then fucking proposed to me and because the camera was on and I was stumbling around I played it up for the camera even though I was terrified and they told everyone and then took to social media to tell people what a terrible disgusting person I was, harassed me for weeks

I told someone .. I can’t remember who .. but I did and somehow that made it worse

I don’t think you should propose to people when they’re drunk and then make fun of them for how they reacted to being drunk but I laughed it off

I laugh a lot of things off

I planned to kill myself on my 18th birthday

I dont know why I didn’t, but I’m disappointed in myself for not going through with it

God, I’m going to bang my head against this wall aren’t I? Nobody really wants me unless I have something to give them

Power, entertainment, sex

I think I’ve given all of my exes one of those things because it’s what they seemed to want the most

Ace loved me, though

I stopped feeling anything romantic after her

She was beautiful

She was fat, she had long brown hair and the rosiest cheeks , her brown eyes crinkled when she grinned

I wonder why I don’t talk to her anymore

I miss Félix and Vincent

Those were her ocs that we role played together

I was Felix and she was Vincent

Felix was a werewolf who was just a little bit evil and because we were ten and eleven at the time they were kind of based off FNAF and made into their own characters

I personally didn’t care for Velix [ I forgot what the ship was called ] But I really really liked her so I’d do anything for her

She was kind to me

Why can I only love bigger bodies when it isn’t mine? That doesn’t seem fair to me

I think I’m having a panic attack or some sort of attack

I do wonder why my previous friends only used me for diagnosis’ though

Well that isn’t true, Alex also used me as a punching bag and now I have physical scars

I need those medications because I was not built to be a real person with feelings I’m Fucking autistic for Christ’s sake

At least with the medications I didn’t use every social media I could simply for the effect of having an audience

It really doesn’t matter who is watching and I don’t post for anyone but myself but if I pretend it can satiate that need to self destruct and have people watch

At most I post here because Ethan is more active on tumblr and will see my silly art or oc stuff while Anakin, Emma, Julian, etc are more active on Instagram

I Really do hate people who think mental illnesses are all quirky and fun until you don’t know how to function around people because everything is going wrong and you can’t fix it

My keyboard is getting fuzzy I should probably take that 4:45 right about now

#tw eating issues #tw ed rant #tw ed relapse #tw ed vent #tw sh #tw sa #tw implied sa #tw abuse #cw vent #personal vent

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oceanmusings · 2 years

Text

Arwen -♡- Spencer | ABC Fluff

(gif made by khat)

A - Admiration (what do they admire about each other?)

Arwen just melts whenever she can witness how deep Spencer cares about things. From his random rambles about the care he goes into learning, or just about people in general. And how he is ashamedly himself. It makes her sad to witness it change the more he goes through things, but she reminds him daily how proud she is of him.

Spencer loves seeing how strong Arwen is for everything she goes through, getting to watch how she can get back up. He feels honored when she allows him to be there too when she breaks down, getting to see all these sides of her.

B - Body (favorite body part?)

Arwen - his hands and chest

Spencer - her shoulders and chest

C - Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Very much needed, especially after bad cases. Spencer having a bad day or a case is getting to him? Arwen will hold him close to her and let him listen to her heartbeat. Or they would spoon with Arwen being the big spoon. Help him feel secure and safe.

when Arwen needs it Spencer is more than happy to hold her for however long she needs. And neither are allowed to leave the bed without some prime cuddling time.

D - Dates (ideal date?)

With their job it’s a little hard to find time to go on dates, most of it is after getting back home like going out for dinner, catching a movie, or even just finding somewhere quiet like the library or park. Occasionally it's ordering pizza while on a case and eating at the hotel.

E - Emotions (how do they express emotion?)

Spencer and Arwen are the king and queen of keeping shit in. Especially with negative emotions. It’s not until it becomes too much for either that they'll blow up with everything they are holding in. Both have had the talk of needing to tell each other stuff or when emotions are troubling either of them, but it hasn't stuck yet.

F - Family (do they want one? If they do, when? And what does this family look like?)

At some point, yes they have a family.

Arwen said for the longest time: "If Spencer can assure me I can't have twins, then we can have a baby genius." And Spencer never could, especially since Arwen does have twins run in her family so that increases their chance.

Fortunately when Arwen and Spencer do begin to start their family, they have only singleton pregnancies. And Arwen makes really sure that there is only one heartbeat so there isn't any surprises. They do decide to have at least 2 so their oldest wouldn't need to be alone.

They have 2 daughters before adding a "surprise" son to the mix.

- Clementine "Clem" Reid-Valentine

- Theodora "Thea" Reid-Valentine

- Leonardo "Leo" Reid-Valentine

G - Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving?)

They cherish anything either give to each other. Arwen's favorite part of giving Spencer anything is finding where he will put it, she thinks she's bad at gift giving because of how much thought Spencer puts into his own whenever he gives to her. Makes Arwen nervous to give him anything when she does, but he seems to like anything she can give him.

H - Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Love holding hands, when on cases or at work they won't just to keep being professional. But when they can Spencer always grabs for her hands and interlock their fingers, and Arwen loves to play with Spencer's fingers and just trace them over them.

I - Injury (how would they act if either of them got hurt?)

Spencer is a mess if Arwen is hurt. He can't sit still and can't help but think of every possibility there is. Someone may need to help him come back to earth so he doesn't spiral too far.

For Arwen, she is a complete mess too. She starts preparing for the worse case scenario there is. Sometimes if the team are there they'll need to help her sit still and slow down her panic.

J - Jokes (do they like to joke around or play pranks? How does that play out?)

If Spencer is pushed to he will. Which Arwen will, not enough he'll be terribly mad but occasionally she will do harmless ones. She expects him to return the favor in some way. But it's not something they do a lot. Derek does it enough for her.

K - Kisses (how do they like to kiss?)

Almost kiss each other like it's the last time they can. Arwen always makes sure Spencer gets one at least once a day, if she isn't able she makes sure to give him two the next day, which doesn't happen often for how much either like to kiss each other.

They might have been late to briefing cause of it.

L - Love (how do they show/express their love?)

Both leave little things at their desk or bedside table. Arwen will sometimes leave little treats for him with a sticky note of some joke she looked for online, refilled his coffee or also left a water bottle for him.

Spencer lets her borrow his books, loving to listen to her talk about it with him, leave notes in her own romance books for her to find when they go on cases or on her desk when he goes in early in the morning.

M - Memory (favorite memory together?)

Arwen’s is when he first kissed her. He was so nervous and she couldn't figure out what was happening until he kissed her. His face was so red after he pulled away, her heart and stomach couldn't settle down, she kissed him again and it became more eager and not as nervous and shy anymore.

Spencer’s is when he was starting to ramble and when he realized he was doing it, he started to apologize and stop, but Arwen stopped him and made him continue. Genuinely looking interested instead of trying to be nice or anything.

N - Nicknames (what nicknames do they call each other?)

Arwen - Baby, Darling, Honey, Genius Man

Spencer - Baby, Honey, Sweetheart, My Love

O - Obvious (what’s it like when they fall in love? How is it for everyone else?)

Arwen became like a school girl with a crush when she realized how much she liked him, especially when someone caught on what was going on. Crashing into things, losing track what she was saying, and refusing to be alone with him for long. She denied it for a long time cause she broke her rule of not falling for her co-worker, but it was extremely obvious to everyone and they had to encourage her to say yes to Spencer when he did get the courage to ask her out.

P - PDA (How do they feel about pda? Are they shy or shameless?)

Spencer isn’t that big on pda, kinda shy but also wanting to keep it private. The most either will do in front of anyone is press a kiss to the cheek or hold hands. But Arwen is the one who will kiss him in front of the team when they are at work.

Q - Quality Time (how do they like to spend time together?)

Reading in the same room or to each other, watching shows or movies together, cuddling or kissing on the couch or bed. Just soaking up each other’s presence.

R - Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

Spotify playlist about Arwen and Spencer's relationship

S - Secrets (how open are they with each other?)

Like what I said in “emotions”, they are the king and queen of keeping stuff in. Neither says anything until one finds out, it becomes too much, and then they need to talk about it. It’s honestly the thing both constantly need to work on and the source of a lot of their arguments.

T - Time (how long did it take to get together?)

First time? A year and were together for 3 months before Arwen got scared of her feelings and broke up with Spencer.

Second time? It wasn’t until 2 years later she asked him out. Apologizing for how she treated him. Next time she got scared and Spencer noticed the pattern’s like last time they were together is when he stepped in and made her not give up on this, not let her fear take over.

U - Upset (how are they when either are upset?)

Arwen tries to be there for Spencer, listening to anything he needs to say or just hold him if he needs it. If he just wants to be alone she tries to listen to that one, but that's hardest for her to do cause she doesn't want him to shut her out.

Spencer tries to do the same thing and just be there for her. The best thing he does when she's having an anxiety attack is when she gives him a worry is he asks what the percentage of that worry happening and giving her statistics. That seems to work wonders for her.

V - Vaunt (do they show each other off? What are they proud of?)

With friends and family, absolutely. Love showing how much they love each other and talk about how proud they are with each other with everything. Despite any teasing thrown their way. With their job they have to be discrete, Arwen wears her engagement and wedding ring either in her pockets or as a necklace. Spencer keeps his in his pocket.

But either will take the chance to talk about how proud they are of each other.

W - Wild Card (random fluff headcanon)

Arwen has found the quickest way to get Spencer to go to sleep is to play with his hair. He will fall asleep in minutes. It's commonly seen on the couch on the jet, Arwen running her hand through his hair as he uses her lap as a pillow, completely passed out.

X - X-Ray (how well can they read each other?)

Fairly well, Arwen can tell when things are bothering him or when he’s excitedly holding something back and Spencer can too. Especially when Arwen is getting scared or an anxiety attack is coming.

It's the problem of getting out of either of them for what's bothering them.

Y - Yes (how would they propose?)

They both did it.

She felt ready for that step in their relationship, and felt they were in a space to do that. And they have talked about it in the past, to the point Arwen thought it was time they start making it a reality.

She got a ring and after a couple weeks of planning and getting up the courage to finally ask him. She decided after they got home from a case, not able to wait any longer when to ask him. And it was a happy thing to do to (hopefully) lift up both their spirits. So when Spencer sat down, she sat down with him, and started the speech she had been practicing.

Apparently Spencer had been planning the same and pulled out his own engagement ring for her. Arwen couldn't help but laugh, feeling good to laugh after not being able to for weeks. And both said yes to each other.

Z - Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

If they aren't together on a case they will call just to check in, settle any anxiety might be creeping in. Reaching for the other's hand and squeezing their hand. Watching comfort shows/movies or reading their favorite book to the other.

#arwen valentine #ABC fluff #criminal minds #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid #spencer reid x original female character #original female character #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #tooth rotting fluff

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remmushound · 3 years

Text

NOTICE before we get to part 13 of my Bay/Rise crossover! It has been a while since I’ve watched ROTTMNT in its entirety, and as such my timelines may be out of order to what was actually occurring in the show at the time. Any inconsistencies between my fic and the shows canon should simply be taken as part of an alternate reality. The fic takes place directly after Battle Nexus: New York. @brightlotusmoon @errorfreak88

“Put your odachi on the ground slowly…”

Leonardo had to think. The grip on his attackers blade was firm— he could tell even without looking. The pressure was steady and holding strong. It was down at an angle, so the attacker was taller that him. Stronger too, probably. Leonardo naturally fell into a self-induced state of calm to keep his mind calm and breathing steady.

“That would require me reaching for my Odachi.” Leonardo said slowly.

“Did I stutter?” The voice was slow and calculated. No hint of a foreign accent, so not a Japanese soldier as most ninja. The words were clear and straightforward, with the faintest hints of Brooklyn being repressed by a confident aura radiating almost like pure heat. Definitely from New York, but more subtle than most on the street.

Leonardo laughed weakly as he slowly reached for the odachi on his shell, making sure his hand was visible the entire time. “The problem with reaching for my odachi is I could do something like this.”

Leonardo grabbed the handle of his odachi and swung it out widely, but his wrist was caught quickly. A firm hand slammed into the crook of his elbow before bending his arm backward and forcing him to drop the odachi to the ground.

“Nice try.”

A sharp kick to the backs of his legs had Leonardo on his knees, then a kick to the back had him on the floor. A pressing weight on the dome of his carapace held him there.

“That’s enough.” This second voice was softer, kinder. Similar to the first in accent, clear and easy to understand and with that same faint, underlying Brooklynn. “We’re not here to fight him!”

“He was attacking April.” The first voice said again.

“Hey, your señorita there was attacking me!” Leonardo snapped back. He wondered if the kind voice could be Raphael or Michelangelo? It seemed too soft for Raphael, though...

“You okay Angelcakes?”

Leonardo latched onto the third voice, the only one so far with no hint of Brooklyn at all. No New York accent being denied nor embraced— how could you do either to an accent you never had? Or maybe he did have it at one point and it just got garbled into the raspy, mellifluously-excited voice.

“I’m fine Mikey.” April said as she was helped to her feet. “Thank you.”

It was Mikey’s voice?

“Any time baby doll.”

Mikey, definitely Mikey. Now that he was hearing it again Leonardo wondered how it wasn’t immediately obvious. Hearing Mikey flirt just felt... off.

“Did he hurt you?” The first voice again— now that one could be Raphael, Leonardo mused. The accent didn't quite fit what Leonardo would have expected, but it was close enough that he might be able to get used to it.

“Just some shoving, Leo.” Was April’s answer. “Mostly startled me is all.”

Leo. So the first voice was Leo and the third Mikey. The second voice… it couldn’t be Donnie, could it?

“These guys ain’t so bad.”

Now that voice was definitely Raph. It was so deeply Brooklynn that it almost hurt— the embodiment of ‘I’m walkin’ here!’ And so much more of New York culture. A voice you could hear in a crowd anywhere around the world and recognize which city it belonged it.

Leonardo was able to lift his head just enough to see the fourth turtle enter the room. He was big— maybe a bit bigger than Raphael but not by much. Leonardo saw the lack of spikes and the spots and the shell, and recognized the patterns as a box turtle. We’re they all box turtles?

“Friday the Thirteenth got his ass kicked by little pipsqueak here.”

The massive box turtle gripped Michelangelo in a vice-hold against his plastron while Michelangelo struggled for his freedom.

“MMMGN! Lemme gooo!” His feet kicked against Raph’s plastron but did nothing to help him.

“Mikey!” Leonardo tried to struggle against the weight on his back.

“Don, go check on Casey.”

“Roger.”

Leonardo caught the barest glimpse of Donnie as he walked by and maneuvered his way around Raph. Taller, but skinnier. Leonardo didn't dare underestimate the strength of the green giant, however— he was taught better by his own Donatello’s freakish nerd strength.

“Now if I let you up, are you gonna place nicely~?” Leo whispered into Leonardo’s ear.

“Depends if you plan on not being such a jackass.”

The weight increased.

“You leave him alone you big bully!” Michelangelo whined as he struggled about like a fly in a spider web.

“Yeah you shrek-looking ass bitch!”

There was the sound of Mikey cracking up laughing, and the heartfelt sound only encouraged Leonardo further.

“Looking like Pickle Rick on steroids ass bitch, looking like Splinter fed you one too many Flintstones Gummies, the chemicals in the water turning the turtles into bitch ass mutants ass hoe —“

Leo yanked Leonardo by the scruff of his neck to stand. “Are you done?”

“You know, my Raph’s not here I can probably go all day. You’re so fugly the creature from the green lagoon musta fucked Barney the Dinosaur and you’re the baby.”

Raph just shook his head while Mikey all fell over clutching his stomach through laughter tears. Leo looked back at his brothers with the slightest hints of embarrassment before he slammed Leonardo into the wall.

“What are you doing here?”

“Leo, cut it out!” Donnie returned from where he had been checking on Casey, putting gentle hands on Leo’s shoulder to encourage him to drop Leonardo, which he did.

Leonardo only laughed as he looked between the four gathered mutants. There wasn’t much difference between them— all of them a similar size with the same, bulky shell as Michelangelo. All definitely box turtles. Their masks, of course, were a dead giveaway as to who was who, but other than that they could easily be interchanged and Leonardo wouldn’t care enough to notice.

“Now onto… you.” Leonardo turned to point at Raph accusingly, “You’re lucky I wasted all my good green jokes on Yoda here, so why don’t you just cut it with the RBF and let my brother go?”

Raph huffed a warning to the confident slider before looking to Leo for a signal. Leo motioned for Raph to let Michelangelo go and Raph obliged.

“There. Was that so hard?” Leonardo smirked as he opened his arm to invite Michelangelo to hold onto his side, “Now, you jolly green giants: Let’s talk Krang.”

#Leonardo makes jokes when he panics #raph is so Brooklynn it hurts #Leo’s pride has been iNJURED #Leo had been slain #Leonardo is more observant than he looks

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shellshockedgay · 3 years

Text

Curvy Boi

Reader: Cis-Male (he/him).

Summary: Reader found himself in a situation. Luckily! The guys can come save there butts while also noticing the reader's butt.

Warnings: kinda smutty 👌. The idea is AMAZING. PLEASE. This is so shameless, honestly. Under the cut; just in case.

He was leading patrol when he heard a scream and a few pewpewpews that where far too familiar.

The four came rushing to your aid and they saw you paying down, but didn't recognize you due to the nice fit clothing and collectively agreed to help.

Leo straight up called you ma'am-

He can only see your ass, thighs and curves and basically went "Ah, woman need my help". Don't hold it against him.

And he pulls the whole superhero-saving-someone bit.

The speech, the pose, and he'd go bright red when he realizes it's you.

So he swipes his katana through the Kraang and walks up to you in slow struts as to not frighten the "unknown women" picking "herself" up off the gross alley way ground.

"I've got you, miss, no need to thank m- aAH- (Y/N)??" "Oh, Thanks Leo! I really apprec- wait, did you call me ma'am?" "NO!!"

It's actually kinda funny because he gets all squeaky and his eyes are darting around and his brothers are cackling. It's great!... For everyone but him-

Spends the next 45 seconds shrieking about how he did not fall you ma'am on purpose.

He literally forgot there were robots about to end you and goes back to fighting while his bros keep joking about him.

No, he does not live this down, ever.

"Maybe you should check on your boyfriend, Leo! He seems a bit scuffed up!" "Just make sure you use the right pronouns." "Yeah, bro. That's very important. Respect him!"

If he wants to get you away from the fight quickly, he YEETS you over his shoulder and just kinda leaves like "YOU GUYS CAN HANDLE THIS"

His hand would be on the back of your thighs and the other on your ass, fight me.

He panics when he realizes it tho and quickly sets you down at your apartment or house or whatever and is FLUSTERED.

He's also probably apologizing and rambling.

But he walks home like "I touched the butt"

He definitely texts you on the way home, apologizing home more time and saying he'd like to hang out the next day and prepare yourself for a slightly more put together, slightly more cocky and slightly less embarrassed Leonardo to meet you on your rooftop.

You had the audacity to accidentally call Leo because he was the most recent contact while your ass was close to getting kicked and you didn't even call him?

How dare you.

So, they get there to see the Purple Dragons and it's a quick fight.

However.

During said fight, Raph is almost too angry to notice your ass and curves 👌

Key is, almost.

Probably does a double-take mid-fight because your not wearing your usual hoodie and sweats and gets decked.

Literally. Just kinda like blocking hits and looking between you and the Purple Dragon goon kinda just bapping him because you keep distracting him.

If he gets shit for this from Leo, he will definitely blame you for merely existing.

Dudes not sure if he should be pissed at you for getting yourself in this situation or thank you for wearing those tight. ass. jeans.

Raph really hoped whoever made them has a nice and fulfilling life because you sure be filling out those jeans.

"You're a smart man, right?" "I guess?" "Not anymore, you dumbass. Why'd ya take this short cut?! You should know this is douche territory! Donnie, didn't you send him a map of the gang territories?" "I did." "SO, WHY ARE WE HERE??"

Yes, he yells at you like a mother, but he means well.

"AND YOU COME OUT HERE DRESSED LIKE THAT?" ".... What's wrong with my outfit?" "I... IT'S... GODDMANIT-"

Listen. He really does mean well.

And his bros know exactly why he's upset about your outfit. They totally saw him distracted during the fight.

Raph just wants you to stay safe. You are his friend.... Whom he currently wants to pin against the wall, but a friend none the less!!

He sighs and apologizes and the dudes are like ".. It takes us days to get an apology... He got one in 30 seconds..."

Anyway, Raph offers to take you home and patch him up but you refuse so over his shoulder you go. Instantly. Like *boop* there ya are.

And he will take you straight home and probably instinctively bap your butt lightly and just kinda nod and spRINT AWAY.

You guys where face timing when he noticed you try to take a short cut down an alley and is like "No, that's the dumbest thing you could do in NY, (Y/n)" and suddenly the Purple Dragons are behind you.

He sees you trying to sass them away, but it only makes them mad and he knows where you are so he hands up and comes to get ya ass to safety.

Comes skirting up behind them in the Shell Raiser to come hell.

So he throws hands, hits with sticks, and uh, yeah. They're the Purple Dragons. They're morons. Donnie obviously wins.

And when he wins in like the 3 minutes he was fighting, he walks over and helps you up.

That's when he notices the tighter clothing you chose to wear today over the looser, comfier clothes you usually wore and he's.

Yeah. He's dead now, so that's FUN.

His bros show up to see what happened and he tries to explain while you dust yourself off and check for cuts and he just

Literally keeps looking over at you to check out your ass and thighs and curves and he's 🥴

Donnie was blushing from the moment he realized it was you but ends up bright red when he tries to talk to you.

Constant. Stammering.

"A-are you ok? Did y-you get hurt? Did-did-did-uh-" "I'm fine, D." "O-oh, good-good"

Secretly a bit disappointed because that means he won't have to bandage you up and possibly see you with your shirt off, but you didn't get hurt so that's good!

You're his bisexual awakening, good luck.

Tries to be smooth, but oh my god he fails. Like he leans against his staff but loses his balance and just kinda lays there after he falls. It's cute but his brothers laugh at him.

And he makes sure your safe and they escorts you home and he totally isn't turning his phone wallpaper to be your face, shh.

Anyway, they head home and he... He can't stop thinking about you.

Probably lays awake that night just thinking about the events of today.

Bye-bye April crush. Hello (Y/n) crush.

God, those jeans did YOU SO MUCH FUCKING JUSTICE AAAAAA

No, he does not get sleep that night.

So, he gets an SOS text from you saying something about the Kraang and surrounded in an alley.

Mikey sprints out the lair with the guys, him at the front and fully determined to fuck shit up.

However when he lands in the alley, knocking a stupid droid down in the process, and they all go their own ways in the fight, he notices something.

You're not in your usual kind of outfits.

Usually you wore baggie, comfy clothes: sweat pants, big hoodies, even sandles.

Mike dodges a punch and notices you bend over to grab your phone that got knocked out of your hand after sending the text and he literally just stares at your ass.

Notices the curves that come with and just goes "😩👌" and definitely gets smacked for it later by Raph.

Dude outright tells you you have a nice ass.

No joke.

"Whooaaa! How come you never told me you have an AMAZING ass, (Y/n/n)!" "MIKEY-!"

And yes it's an accident, but it's also the truth so forgive him.

Everyone is fighting off the fucks but he's licking his hand to slick back hair he doesn't even have while strutting over to you with confidence even Raph doesn't have.

It's so funny, please.

Flirts so fucking hard.

"Hey, baby. Are you the sun? Because you just lit up my day." "Mikey! We're kinda busy at the moment!" "Shush, dude! I'm tryin' to get some! Are you free tonight?"

and he'd take your hand and kiss your knuckles while winking.

Like he knows he's cute, so he's cocky as shit.

Granted, he's cocky, but he genuinely likes you so if you flirt back, he just giggles and blushes like a school girl.

You make his little pansexual heart go budbudbudbudbud very quickly.

He punched a droid without looking while flirting with you and it's actually impressive because the head popped right off.

Blows you a kiss before returning to the fight.

At the end of it, the offers to escort you home for two reasons.

One; to avoid getting chewed out by the others.

And two; to raise his chances of getting a thank you smooch from you.

He literally sweeps you off your feet and runs off to your apartment.

It's actually 2:30 am as I finish this and I hope it lives up to how you wanted it but I had so much fun with this-

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt raphael #tmnt raphael x male reader #tmnt donatello #tmnt donatello x male reader #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leonardo x male reader #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt michelangelo x male reader #tmnt 2012 x male reader #tmnt

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egg-on-the-run · 3 years

Text

I got my first proper request and I literally accidentally deleted it. Am I stupid? Yes. Did I immediately panic? Yes. Do I remember what was on it?........ mostly.

Haha anon I hope you see this I'm so sorry but ily.

The turtles s/o who's usually very calm but just bursts into anger.

Notes: swearing :) I think it's funny

Leonardo:

He's used to a very calm s/o, you like to meditate together, he's always been good with helping you with breathing exercises.

You both like to keep arguments to a minimum, and even when fights do take place there isn't a lot of yelling

But when your mother came to visit :) that was just :) a lot of pressure :)

And she stayed in your apartment :) for a week :) everything was fine :)

Leonardo hadn't seen you for an entire week, not an overly long time, but certainly not pleasant. And he knew that you got stressed when you couldn't see him often. So as soon as you texted saying you had dropped your mother off at the airport, he immediately came round.

You were already screaming the moment you walked in the door.

"Oh she has some nerve! Some nerve! Speaking to me like that!"

"I'm guessing you're car ride went smoothly."

"She's been bugging me all week! When are you getting married? When are you have kids? I want some grand babies before I die! Ugh! She's obsessed with maintaining this perfect image all because her friend's kids are married and making babies like rabbits!"

He stayed quiet, not exactly sure how to comfort you. It wasn't like he could provide you with these things, and by the sounds of it, your mother would never approve of your huge turtle boyfriend.

"She just can't get that I'm happy! I have my own life and it's perfect the way I want it to be! I have a perfect boyfriend! You're a fucking delight! She–she's just so obsessed with her image that she'd never get that!"

"You... You think so?"

"I know so! She's too stubborn and she'll never get how fucking great you are and it just— UGH! It fries my brain."

"Even though I... I can't give you all those things... I can't legally marry you, we can't have kids."

"Even if you could give me a mansion and a diamond ring, or if all you could give me was a-a fucking walnut! I love you Leonardo, not that prim and proper white satin wedding she's made a thousand Pinterest boards for. I love you, I just wish she would get it."

Leonardo leaned down and kissed your cheek

"I love you too."

He believed in dealing with anger appropriately, but seeing you defend him with such passion made him feel so much more secure.

Raphael:

He's seen you angry before, he encouraged it. He's all about helping you with your confidence, teaching you to not be afraid to take up space and stand up for yourself.

But holy cow. You were mad that night.

He'd warned you not to take the trash out at night, wait to the morning — or better yet, he'll take it out for you when he came to visit after patrol.

But you are Raphael's girl. You are stubborn.

So you take the trash out, and some absolute creep decides that "flirting" in a dark alleyway in the key to a girl's heart.

Raphael swooped in, told the man to scram. But bold and drunk, the man spits back with a "Oh yeah? And would she want anything to do with a freak like you? What are you gonna do? Hit me? Aw, big angry turtle, you're gonna scare your girlfriend away."

It was two of his biggest insecurities. His appearance and his rage, especially in regards to scaring you away. It was a low blow, Raphael should have known to just walk away.

But he clammed up, he'd never admit when his anxiety got the best of him and you don't blame him.

"Oh go fuck yourself. If a vile man like you doesn't scare me, why the hell do you think a good man like him would?"

"A good man? He's not a fucking man! He's some freaky turtle thing, a pretty little thing like you deserves a real man."

"And are you a real man?"

"More real than your little pet."

The next thing you knew, the man was on the ground. You assumed Raphael knocked him out, but Raph's standing behind you and you're the one with your hand in a fist.

"Oh my god. Oh–Oh Raphie I knocked him out! O-Oh my god!"

"Holy shit Y/N! You probably broke his nose!" Raphael is grinning, shaking your shoulders.

"I didn't mean to hurt him."

"He deserves a broken nose at the least for messing with you! He was an asshole and he needed someone like you to set him straight!"

"I, um, well, I suppose he did! Saying such horrible things about you, I-I guess he did need someone to put him in his place."

Raphael ruffled your hair, "Thank you, my knight in shining armour."

"That make you my Prince?"

"Your Prince who was right about not taking the trash out at night."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

He appreciated you standing up for him more than you could imagine. And he found it mighty hot how hard you hit that guy. Seriously! He must be a good self defence teacher.

Donatello:

Donatello loves you so much, loves holding you and hugging you whenever he can. He adores it when you sit on his lap while he works.

But do you like to cuddle when you sleep? Tough luck. Getting him to bed is like trying to lick your own elbow: near impossible.

Regardless, you try. Because every once in a while Donatello is too tired to fight and he will go to bed.

Tonight is not one of those nights.

"Baby, please, just come to bed. Everyone's already asleep."

"I'll be there in a minute, just go on without me."

You sigh, not really seeing the point in fighting. Instead you return to his bed, trying to keep yourself awake playing games on your phone. When half an hour passes, you go back and try again.

"Donnie come on, aren't you tired? I just want to cuddle."

"I just need to put some stuff on a hard drive, April's writing a new article, she needs it for tomorrow."

You sigh once more, "Promise you'll come to bed right after?"

"I promise."

Donatello's bed is comfortable, but it's more comfortable with him in. You force yourself to stay awake; despite your exhaustion you're determined to cuddle tonight. It's all you want.

But it did not take an hour to put some documents onto a hard drive. And he's being awfully loud for just typing away on a computer.

"Are you fucking joking right now?!"

He jumps, almost dropping the box of beakers in his arms, "Hey love... Can't sleep?"

"You're rearranging your lab?! Why are you—since when do you rearrange things, huh? What the hell?!"

"I just y'know, thought things needed a change..?"

"Oh, and now is the time to change things, really? Of all the times to move your fucking beakers you decide to do it in the middle of the night after I specifically asked you to come to bed? Seriously?"

He gives a nervous grin, the kind that usually made you smile in return. But it was late — rather it was early at this point — and you were cranky.

"You can sleep without me, you're a big girl." He teased.

"I want to sleep with my boyfriend! I want to cuddle! Is that so much to ask for?!"

Donatello blinked, "You're right, I'm sorry, but I swear, I promise, I'll be ten minutes, honest."

"You can finish this tomorrow. If you're not in bed in the next ten seconds, I am going to scream and wake everyone else up."

"Don't be ridiculous—"

"Ten."

Donatello jumped, quickly moving to shove supplies in cupboards a little recklessly. You continued to count down from ten, storming off back to his bed for hopefully the finally time this night.

By the time you got to the very firm "Three... Two... One..." Donatello was racing to bed, dived in beside you, crashing and knocking your heads together.

He'd never tell you, for fear you'd let it get to your head, but he kind of liked it when you got bossy.

Michelangelo:

Anger and Michelangelo just don't mix. They just don't. He's the king of communication, he's tries his hardest to avoid fights at any and all costs. You've always appreciated his determination to talk things out with you.

But with his brothers? He shuts down, he goes quiet and just accepts whatever blame they put on him: he knows they don't mean it, they only say mean things when they're angry.

But it hurts, hearing his big brothers tell him he's stupid, that he's childish, that he's lackadaisical.

"What kind of word even is that?! I swear Donnie must read a thesaurus as a bedtime story.."

So he's allowed to complain, and you let him ramble when he comes to visit. He sits on your bed and the words just tumble out of his mouth, lets you move around the room tidying up while he rants.

"I just—Raph keeps calling me stupid. And I just—I-I just—You know, sometimes I believe it."

You freeze, sweater only half folded and turn to him, "But you're not stupid. Just because you're not some brainiac like Donatello doesn't make you stupid. If that was the case, then I'm stupid, Raph's stupid, April, Leo, Splinter is stupid. Do you think we're all stupid?"

"Well—no, but—"

"But what?"

"But I... I am a little stupid."

"No you're not! Mikey, how many times has you out of the box thinking saved the day? Y-You were the one who suggested playing friggen buck-buck to take down Shredder! Y-Your skateboarding—hoverboarding skills saved the world. You think your brothers could do that?"

Mikey scrunched his nose up, "That's not smart though. They're right. My-my focus is all over the place, I-I could never come up with a plan like Leo, I could never have half the brains Donnie has, and Raph just—he gets things that I don't and I-I am stupid!"

"I need to have a word with your brothers—"

"And that's another thing! Everyone still treats me like I'm some kid! I don't need you to have a word with them! You're not my mom."

"Then you have a word with them! But sitting here and complaining about things that just aren't true isn't going to change anything!"

He's taken aback. Much like himself, you hardly ever yell, never ever raise your voice at him.

"I am not going to stand here and let them insult you day in and day out! Either you do something about it, or I will!"

He blinks at you, you're aggressively folding the sweater in your arms and grumbling about how you could definitely take Raphael in a fist fight if need be. You mumble something about how nobody gets to speak to your boyfriend like that, and it finally clicks with Mikey.

"Alright. I'm going to talk to them," He's mostly talking to himself, "I'm going to show them that I'm not some stupid, ditzy, lackadaisical kid anymore. I'm your boyfriend, and nobody gets to speak with me that way!"

You beam at him, anger disappearing within the second with his newfound confidence, "Hell yeah! Nobody insults my boyfriend!"

"Your boyfriend!"

"My boyfriend!"

"Your boyfriend!"

His brothers' version of a wake up call is to point out his weaknesses, tell him what needs to be corrected. But you much prefer to build him up, point out his strengths.

But jeez, he does not like your angry face.

#Upon seeing this request I forgot what anger felt like for three days #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2k14 #tmnt 2k16 #tmnt bayverse #tmnt leo #tmnt raph #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt x reader #tmnt x female reader #tmnt raphael #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt mikey x reader #title: anger

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