#Laz complains

[lazinesswrites]

Did I really wake up early and go all the way to the university library, in the rain, in order to motivate my self to actually work on my thesis instead of staying home and doing nothing, only to give up at lunch and write The Bad Batch fanfic instead?

Yes. Yes I did.

These clones are gonna be the end of me, clearly.

[lazaruspiss]

seeing ttgo still get called cartoon networks most hated show is so funny actually. like yeah. bc the other shows dont have grown adults running a hate-dom for them bc theyre a spin off of a good-to-mediocre show that some folks convinced themselves was gods gift to man. im sorry that the kids show is popular with kids lmao

[lariej]

this resort has such A Music Taste like in the past twenty music i’ve heard

- German ballads

- UK grime

- American Hip Hop

- French pop

- Country music

like i get it but also guys i’m begging u to create one playlist with a coherent theme

[ri-writes-if]

Oracle falls into some river/pond and the Ros have to go now fish out the poor soaked rat looking thing.

I wrote a thing 👉👈 or five. A little suggestive!

A soft gasp sounds before the water swallows you. Between that and Vez carrying you to the surface passes less than ten seconds. You hear a heavy flap of wings, but as you turn your head to look behind Vez’s back, they disappear.

A shiver runs through your body, the chilling air biting your skin. Vez stands on the ground near the pond, dripping wet just like you. They don’t put you down yet.

Vez looks over you—over your soaked clothes—in a slow inspection. Your face feels suddenly hot.

They give you a knowing look, and a sly smile appears on their lips. “Should I help you warm up?”

Os looks at you, unimpressed. “If you wanted to swim, you could just say so.”

You throw them a glare. “Help me up.” It’s a petulant tone no one in their right mind would use with Os, but you couldn’t care less about your manners right now. You raise your hand, swimming closer to the edge.

Os arches a brow, not hurrying to help you. “It seems like you’re doing just fine. I’m sure you can get out by yourself.”

You grip their legs and pull them forward. Os eyes widen, but they react too late.

After falling into the water, they quickly rise to the surface and wipe their face. They’re not annoyed. Instead, they look at you blankly for a second.

“Fine.” They smile slowly, their gaze hardening. “Let’s play.”

Your teeth chatter, and tears well up in your eyes. “This is cold. You’re insane.”

Laz sighs in pleasure, throwing more water into their face. You swim near them, looking at them sullenly. Noticing your expression, they draw closer and pull you into their embrace. Their body is still hot somehow, so you press against them, putting your hands on their back to warm yourself.

“Relax,” they say with a smile. “It’ll get better in a moment, once you get used to the temperature.”

“Get used… my ass,” you mutter.

They pinch your backside, making you gasp. You swat their arm.

“I’m at my wit’s end,” you complain. “One more thing, and I’m getting out of here or crying.”

They caress your cheek, wiping either a tear or a trail of water. “I could try to make you cry for another reason if it’d help.”

You want to say it wouldn’t, but they swallow your complaint with their lips.

Ash throws their dry robe over your body. You’re cold, but so are they, yet they don’t look like it. While you’re shivering, with your teeth chattering, they stand calm, like nothing has happened. The only traces of the incident are their wet clothes and the water sliding down their face.

“Sorry,” you mutter as they tie up the robe for you. You want to say something else, especially seeing as they don’t react, but before you can, they raise you into their hands. You inhale sharply.

“I could comb your hair,” you offer as another apology. “You’re not angry, are you?”

“Why would I be angry with you?” they ask, baffled.

“You didn’t say anything.”

“I was thinking about the quickest path to our chamber. And that you need a warm bath.”

“You don’t?”

Their cheeks flush at your question. They avoid looking at you, but they nod briefly. You hum.

“We need a warm bath,” you say, “so let’s share.”

Though they keep their expression blank, the blush spreads to their ears. You smile and lean in to place a kiss on their cheek.

You would’ve cursed your clumsiness a minute ago, but now it doesn’t seem so bad.

Their arms circling around your waist, Az quickly pulls you to the surface. You both gasp for air. The chilling water makes your limbs ache. You turn to them, wanting to thank them for help, but when you see them, the words don’t come.

They look beautiful even like this, with their hair wet and their skin glistering with water drops. They’re beautiful—and very, very close.

They notice it too, their gaze slowly rising from your mouth to your eyes. “Well, here we are,” they whisper, their warm breath touching your lips.

You hum, unable to look away from them.

“Was this your plan all along?” they ask with a playful smile.

Instead of answering, you lean in to kiss them.

[deviousgoat]

My honest opinion on the WWDITS finale (yes I know it’s late but hear me out through my tedious essay on this.)

It genuinely suffered from bad writing. This final season had so much potential to be great much like the ones that came before, but it absolutely flunked on it. Everything else in this season had great quirky; the costumes, the lighting, and the set. But as the season’s writing was truly introduced, I noticed it didn’t really have that same atmosphere anymore. The jokes felt stale and too planned, while others seemed to appear out of nowhere and cause chaos for the storyline. Jerry and the monster were a good add-in joke, and introducing Laszlo’s father aswell was great. But how these characters were entered left a huge writing problem. They created a huge Checkov’s (I think that’s how you spell it?) gun. They introduced huge plot point’s that could’ve been executed carefully enough to be reasonable with the audience. And there are a couple I’d like to name.

Sean’s death; throughout season 6 we hear about Sean having a huge decline in his mental and physical health. This is present through his two heart attacks, being fired from his job, and seeming incapable, of much. But when it came to a point where people began to worry about Sean’s health and such, his last scene is him talking about the people who have pissed in his toilets. It’s very on cue for Sean… but it feels wrong. How Sean is so carefully cured to die, then they just drop it.

Nandermo; Nandermo has been an ongoing thing since the start of the series. A ship between Nandor and Guillermo where one finds themselves in pure love while the other refuses to admit their feelings and kinda just complains. It’s a very popular ship dynamic in communities and I feel WWDITS is no different. But for the final scene of them together, it expands on more plot points instead of answering them. Will they be lovers? Or just friends? Or will they grow to hate each other? None of it is answered. We just get them sitting in a coffin together and falling down a big ass hole.

Rodrick Cravensworth (I don’t know if that’s properly spelt but oh well.); Lord Rodrick Cravensworth was an ASS of a character. The writing for him was great, and his story tells us so much of Laszlo’s childhood. He’s really meant to agitate you through the screen, and does so wonderfully. But yet, in his finale scene we only see him being locked up in a safe with a funko pop that looks exactly like him. I see this as a huge plot point that shouldn’t have been left out so easily. If they decide in 1, 2, 5, 10, 15 or beyond years to do another movie about our favourite vampires from Staten Island, it should include Rodrick again, just for closer. (If he possessed the doll and broke out of the safe or some shit.)

Dadzlo; Dadzlo is a word used by fans in the WWDITS community to assess Laszlo’s time as a father for Colin Robinson. This was a huge plot point in WWDITS season 4, but is never really expanded on since then (Other than the brief mentions of it.) But when we s6 (ep6? I can’t remember) We see more hints and mentions of the two. This whole thing is a huge mess of a plot. Colin refusing to acknowledge that Laszlo raised him, while Laz is left tormented by his inner turmoil. This whole thing was left unresolved, which left it to only be a couple-line joke mostly. I hate this because I personally enjoyed Dadzlo a lot in the season and was disappointed without the denouement of it.

Nadja’s lack of positive female interaction; Nadja is Pansexual, we’re all aware of that. But throughout the entirety of WWDITS we almost never see her have a positive female interaction (other than Jenna, and even then it was pretty bad.) Why haven’t we seen her ever have any interest in another female character? It’s a horrid battle of bad writing and fear. A popular ship, Ladja, romanticizes Nadja and The Guide together. I personally like this ship, showing how Nadja and the guide SHOULD’VE needed up instead of being a one-sided friendship. But it actually pisses me off to see that yet again, their just in a crush x “who the hell are you?” kind of relationship.

The finale; writing this in general just makes my blood actually fucking boil. The season was so bad, and how they ended it was even worse. No tying of lose ends, no use of Checkov’s gun, and not even a resolve to ships. The episode was mainly Guillermo centred, which is kinda boring. There are plenty of episodes already within the series that have Guillermo in every plot line, and having the finale be one of those was horrid. The other characters within the finale felt more like props instead of supporting characters. And of course we had “We’ll meet again” as the song to end it off. I’m not saying it’s a bad song, I’m just saying it’s overused in media. A lot of endings in television shows from what I’ve seen include that song, a very notable one being Gravity falls. I know it’s hard to find appropriate music for the ending of a series, but do I really have to hear that same one over, and over, and over? Like, grab Al Bowley’s “Heartaches” or something but just find something original.

I’m super pissed about this, and I could go on and on about the things I hated about this series finale, but I’m just going to let you guys get a taste of how much I hated s6

Like, god how hard is it to write an ending? Do the fans have to do it all themselves? The whole point of a proper ending is to find a way that makes most of the fans of it happy, not suffocating us with bad writing. I hate what they’ve done to this television show, I really do.

I hope you enjoyed my energy vampire-like rant. Now goodnight :3

[lightofraye]

jared's relationship (or lack thereof) with the cast frankly weirds me out. is he ever supportive of their new projects? if he couldn't attend this event, he could have at the very least helped promote it if he believes in the cause. he has time to check twitter and get upset over what some teenagers are tweeting about him but not about his own nasty longstanding stans. neither does he have time to engage positively in good causes

i thought he so badly wanted to get on The Boys but he can't make the time to fly out and meet the show's faves and chill with them. does he really believe he's above it all?

i'm starting to believe fans truly do reflect their favorites and he's coming off petty and entitled. unfortunately, his attitude towards the cast translates into his fans calling everyone else "extras" and treating jensen as an accessory

look at jensen and misha surrounded by all the lovely people they've been friends with for years, and then look at jared in the corner all by himself

i'm not saying he owes anyone anything but for someone so chronically online to be ignoring the awesome things happening and focusing on his personal online bullies leaves a bad taste in my mouth

and using him not being in California as an excuse for not being there last night.

Rob and Ruth were in Scotland and they attended via Zoom. Not sure where Mark S or Curtis were, but they also attended via Zoom and weren't at the house with the others. Laz Alonso and Valorie Curry also attended via Zoom. There were other ways to be there.

He wasn't there either because he didn't want to be or he wasn't wanted. Pick your poison.

also stop being so hypocritical, you complain about Danneel cutting of Jensen when Jared does it as well and alot more. You complain when anyone makes a jokes a to Jensen about jensen but is comletely ok when Jared does the same.

You are such a fucking asshole that noone likes

I was wondering when the anti Jared folks would come out.

Given how Rob and Rich are banking on Destiel for their podcast, small wonder Jared does anything with them. Jensen is a far patient man than I would be. And Jared seemed to get along well with Ruth during duos recently.

And Jared didn’t beg Kripke at all. Kripke begged him! And he doesn’t engage with many folks on social media anymore. He’s grown as a person, has owned up to his issues.

Not everyone has to stay friends after their work has ended.

You can keep trying to paint him a bad person, but who’s the one getting pissy on social media about politics and his role? (Misha.) Who is trying to take fans’ data and sell it? (Misha.) Who tries to post thirst traps for money? (Misha.) Who tried to leverage Destiel for politics? (Misha.) Who exaggerates and lies about stories that netted death threats against Jared? (Misha.)

Y’all know you can’t win this argument. So again: why are you trying? Go write your Destiel fantasies on your blogs and leave me and other Jared fans be.

[lostonehero]

What remains after eternity

Homage

Lazarus has been in some sketchy places. Places not meant for human eyes. Places even gods feared to tread. However, that still didn't prepare him for this. Tim's mind seemed broken, worse than before. The air was humid and cold, and it smelled of rot. The area seemed to be abandoned.

A man, no, that wasn't right he looked like he was barely 19. His hair was cut in a military style, matching the uniform he was wearing. His blue eyes seemed distant. "You.... you shouldn't be here."

"I shouldn't be many places." Laz tilted his head. He didn't recognize the uniform, but that's probably because it's after his time on earth. He left and never looked back. "What happened?"

The kid looked down at his feet. "I was abandoned."

Laz reached out, and a bullet went through his hand. He takes a breath. "Let me help you."

"I can't be helped." Blue, tired eyes stared through Laz. "You don't belong here."

Laz was staring up at mechanical eyes, watching Tim wipe his mouth.

"What the fuck was that?" Lyf stared at the two.

Laz groans laying on the floor. "That is what happens when a mind is strong enough to force me out."

"Hurt you?" Tim tilted his head.

"No, I'm just. I'm just going to lie here." Laz takes a breath. "You ok?"

"Taste funny." Tim crouched down next to Laz poking at his leaking eyes.

"You probably shouldn't eat it, but I don't care." Laz looks over to Lyf. "If Thomas asks, I'm on the floor."

"Lazarus, seriously, what happened? Tim, don't eat that!" Lyf tries and fails to shoo Tim away.

Tim chuckles. "Like Jonny's babies."

"I'm not entertaining that comment." Laz sighs. "As I said, Tim's mind is strong enough to force me out. I need a moment before I even attempt again. Now, don't get me wrong. Strong doesn't mean healed it means dangerous. I'm going to have to talk to Scratch." He groans.

"Are you ok?" Lyf suppresses the urge to taste the fluid from Laz's eyes.

"Bruised ego mostly, with how long I've been at this, it's surprising to deal with this. Also, incredibly sore being forced out is really painful, but mostly hurt pride. I'm gonna be on the floor for awhile, sorry for making a mess, Aurora." Laz, let's out a breath.

"I've already called Brian and Thomas to grab him." Aurora chirps. "You depressed bastard."

"I resent that." Laz groans. "I am an orphan."

"I dont think that's the part you should be arguing." Lyf sighs. "Tim stop poking him."

"Hurt." Tim points at Laz.

"Not hurt." Laz huffs. "I'm just sore."

"Idiot." Lyf pinched his brow.

"I help." Tim gets up and grabs Laz with his vines.

"Fuck me." Laz can't even move his arms to cover his face.

"I will inform Brian and Thomas that Tim is taking him somewhere." Aurora sounded bemused.

"I'll follow as well." Lyf shakes his head.

.......

Jonny stepped out in his boxers, carrying Trevor on his back. "No more complaining, I'm taking you to your room."

"Dad, I can walk." Trevor mumbles he was pale, and his tail drooped behind him.

"You want to try that again?" Jonny huffs. "Just because all of you brats have my stubbornness doesn't mean that good thing."

Trevor huffs back. "Not a baby."

"Yeah, yeah, a big, strong man." Jonny chuckles. "Come on off to your room."

Trevor mutters something intelegalible.

"Dad! Trevor! Are you guys ok?" Thomas rolls over. "Just go without me, Brian."

Brian nods and keeps moving forward.

"Where were you two running to?" Jonny raised a brow.

"Tommy." Trevor reached out, then dropped his hand and yawns.

Jonny smiles with a sigh. "This is why I'm carrying you." He turns to Thomas. "Are you guys ok? Trevor told me what you guys were doing, and thank you."

"It was Trevor's idea." Thomas rubs the back of his neck. "Tim is carrying Laz around, and Laz got kicked out of Tim's head, which is the first time I've ever heard that happening. Laz claims he isn't hurt but can't move because he's sore like he overworked his body. He heals fast, so I'm not worried, but I am a bit concerned about what Tim thinks help means."

Jonny chuckles. "They'll be fine. Join in taking your brother back to his room."

Thomas adjusts his chair and rolls after his dad. "I... I can tell you what happened to him."

"I don't need to know." Jonny smiles softly. "You brats have your -"

"Tommy, tell dad. Gonna tell dad." Trevor groans, hiding his face in his father's shoulder. "Dad should know. Doctors aren't nice."

"I... Trevor, that literally has nothing to do with the terminus curse." Thomas pinched his brow.

"Your brother is on a different plane of reality at the moment Thomas cut him slack." Jonny snickers. "Come on, Trevor, we'll be there soon."

"Dad I was bad." Trevor mumbles.

"So am I." Jonny hums. "You ain't special."

"Noooo!" Trevor whines.

"Thomas, tell your brother no serious conversation when he's mentally gone." Jonny sighs.

"I don't think anything I'll say will help." Thomas frowns. "Trevor doesn't talk about where he was sent to when he turned 25. I was with Mae. We had each other to figure this out. Alex, well, they were just dropped with Aiden, so they were fine even met Izzy and Laz before we did. Janet, well, you already know how that was."

"It's bad." Trevor whines. "I was bad."

"Again, that's not special, you brat." Jonny huffs. "Would you like to hear my list of crimes?"

Trevor is quiet.

"That's what I thought." Jonny sighs. "There is ain't anything you brats can do to make me hate you nor be worse than I was. Hell, even Brian has done bad things, and he's the good one out of us."

"Baba, I'm sorry." Trevor whimpers.

Jonny stops in front of Trevor's room. "Alright, alright, that's enough. We ain't talking till you rest properly."

Thomas watches his dad wrap his brother up in blankets as tight as he can manage.

Trevor relaxes almost immediately and starts to purr as he falls asleep.

"What do you want me to wrap you up to?" Jonny crosses his arms with a smirk.

Thomas blushing. "I would say yes, but my legs are fused in this position, and I'm worried about my arms. Can I have a raincheck."

Jonny chuckles and shuts Trevor's door and ruffles Thomas's hair. "Yeah, yeah. Come on, I'm going to make Trevor's favorite meal, and you'll help me."

"I think I can manage." Thomas chuckles.

........

Marius blinks, staring at Lazarus, dropped in his nest by Tim, who just left. "How can I help you?"

"Your nest is weird compared to Thomas's." Laz blinks. "Um, kind of overdid it and got thrown out of Tim's head. My body is sore all over, and I can't move. I really don't know why Tim dumped me in here."

"I am a doctor." Marius frowns. "Although he could have just put you in the infirmary. I don't understand how he gets in here. My door is locked for a reason."

"In his defense, I don't think he knows either." Laz huffs. "I don't need a doctor. I just need to rest a night or two of sleep it will fix this. It's been a very long time, but that is what fixes this." He looks away. "Scratch would tell you the same. He's the one who taught me to go into people's heads."

"It sounds like this isn't normal." Marius hums, placing a blanket around Laz. "Why do you think you were kicked out?"

Laz narrows his gaze. "I was warned about this." He sighs. "Fine, I'll play along, but none of this leaves this room. It's not good."

"Doctor patient privilege, your secrets are safe with me, or I'll just forget." Marius frowns.

"I don't envy your position either. I can look in your head when I'm up to it if you like." Laz pauses. "Nothing too bad just to see how fractured your mind is if it is even that. I won't look at any memories that would require you to be asleep. Can't get consent if you're asleep."

"That is kind of you, but I rather you didn't." Marius takes a breath. "So why is this bad?"

"It's good and bad. Good because his mind is strong, and he's in there fighting. Bad because it's incredibly unstable. He's going to have more of these reality slips before it gets better. There isn't an easy way to say this, but we will have to keep those cages and things set up for future use." Laz looks back at Marius.

Marius sighs. "I had a feeling that would be the case." He crosses his arms. "Do you want me to carry you back to your room?"

"What, you aren't going to ask more questions?" Laz raised a brow.

"I don't need to. You don't have the information and are assuming." Marius gets up as Laz flinches.

"You purposely make the others underestimate you." Laz, let's out a soft oof as he is picked up.

Marius hums softly.

.......

Lyf stops. "O-oh, when did Tim get in o-your room."

"It is ours, Lyf. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but we are bonded. It always will be ours." Marius hums.

"Like I get it, no memory and whatever, but your body remembers isn't that enough?" Laz blinks. "I mean, your hair literally triggered the heat before you got to this state."

"Why do you know that?" Marius raised his brow.

"I never said I didn't know the xeon language. I just can't speak it. It doesn't work well with human vocal cords." Laz sighs. "Look, I don't have a dog in this race, but that's just my two cents. Neither of you can predict the future, so why dance around the present like you two are strangers?"

"Because I'm not an asshole?" Lyf rolls his eyes. "Why are you such a dick?"

"Age mostly." Laz tries to shrug and fails. "Also, the fact I really don't like romcoms. Even if you don't remember Marius, you clearly have feelings for Lyf, and Lyf is so head over heels for you that he would follow you to the end of time."

Marius blushes a mix of purple and black.

Lyf matches the blush with his own.

"No wonder why everyone gets annoyed at you two." Laz sighs. "This is clearly not working, so either drop me in the infirmary you've passed twice, or I can keep going."

"I... uh...." Marius swallows.

Lyf covers his face and groans.

"Please don't use me as an excuse to spend time together. It's weird." Laz sighs. "Can you please just drop me off."

"R-right." Marius quickly rushed back to the infirmary to drop Laz off into a bed.

.......

Marius sits in the gardens next to Lyf. "I..."

"Ivy told me about what happened." Lyf rubs his arm. "I just want to go at your pace. I didn't want to make you feel unwanted."

"I don't feel..." Marius reached out, lacing his fingers with Lyf's. "I don't know what is truly me from the instincts and hormones. I know I feel safe with you. It's still so fresh in my mind, and I get thrust here. I'm supposed to be different. Myself now has long past."

Lyf sighs. "You're still Marius, and the past few centuries, I've learned so much about you, and I will learn something else new as time moves on. I look forward to eternity with you no matter what time period your mind is in." He smiles. "Also how the fuck did you get doctor from mechanical engineer? Just because you're medically trained now doesn't mean it makes any sense to me. I can handle mech pilot, I can handle your insanity, but that what the fuck Marius?"

Marius blushes, shaking in a silent story. "That's a funny story, actually."

Lyf listens with a stupid smile on his face, which is cut short when Brian trots in not human shaped. "Oh, uh, hello."

"Hello Brian." Marius smiles then gives a soft oof as Brian lays on both Marius and Lyf. "Ivy was right. You are taking advantage of your new form."

Brian chitters and yawns.

Lyf chuckles. "He is quite soft. Tell me more about your adventures."

Marius smiles. "I guess we do now have the time."

The peace was interrupted. "So this is cute and all, but I have a few questions."

A eerie yelp came from Brian's maw as he skittered back and returned to a human shape. Marius shouted in shock, and his horns grew in an instant. Lyf shrieked and stumbles back.

"Rude, anyway." Mae hops out of the tree.

Lyf takes a breath. "Have you been there the whole time?"

"No, I was following you two from the vents earlier." Mae grins. "For being an acolyte, you're not very observant. Also, I love watching Laz get annoyed with other people's romantic problems. It's the only thing that really annoys him ironically, considering how he gets with Thomas."

Marius takes a few deep breaths, calming down that his horns return to nubs. "Why? Isn't it dangerous given your older body?"

"Rude again, not made of glass." Mae rolls her eyes. "However, I was looking for dad, but you guys seemed more interesting at the moment. As much as listening in on you two falling in love again, I really don't care, so I actually wanted to interrupt to ask Lyf a few questions about his god."

"Why do you want to know about Yog Sogoth?" Brian beat Lyf to the question.

"I'm making a timeline. You see the God's realm is separate from time and space kind of so the events of Gram's murder spree happened, I want to see if it happened before or after your galaxy was eaten." Mae shrugs. "I've been working with Laz on it for ages. It's weird because it affected Laz when it happened almost immediately because Scratch picked him when he just became whole again, which was before humans even went to the moon the first time. However, thinking reality wise, the bifrost happens eons later."

"That's a question for Jonny." Marius blinks, getting a headache trying to figure out the sheer math.

"Isn't that like a paradox?" Lyf stares blankly at Mae.

"I was a doctor, now a pilot, so I can't help you." Brian sighs. "Again, as Marius said, that kind of stuff is Jonny's expertise."

"You guys are useless." Mae huffs. "It's basic theoretical mathematics and creating a timeline. You would think you guys would have thought of something." She grumbles as she walks away.

"It's like a second, Jonny." Brian blinks.

"Fuck you're right." Lyf rubs his temples.

Marius smiles. "Jonny is a really good dad."

.......

"Aha, that's where you went." Scratch appeared next to Lazarus in the infirmary. "Alright, I know you hate this, but I would like to confirm what Thomas told me and Valerie."

Lazarus was in a church, his leaking eyes were replaced with amber eyes, his black hair was brown, and in a loose ponytail. He was in priest garb and seemed to be praying. "I told you I didn't want you in my head without discussing first." He leans back in the pew.

Scratch sits next to Laz. "Never thought you would ever come back here."

"Consider it nostalgia. It's been a long time since someone was strong enough to send me out." Laz sighs. "I suppose that is why you're here."

"That's one reason. Is it too much to want to check on you?" Scratch smiles.

"Still not my father." Laz smiles softly. "Tim's mind is strong, and even with my strength, I was unprepared for how he would lash out. I don't think they filmed everything, nor was it accurate for how long he was being tortured. The first few lobotomizes failed."

"I know." Scratch crosses his arms. "I've been scrubbing over the videos, and there are purposeful sections missing. There's a reason why so many of us enjoy humanity, and it's not for good reasons."

"Anything that could help me?" Laz thinned his lips. "Anything you're willing to share?"

"I don't want you to go back in his head, not until I can have a look." Scratch sits up. "I respect your abilities and how powerful you are even compared to myself. However, I would even state a claim that my own father would be horrified at the things done, and I don't think I've ever considered him to have a limit." He sighs.

Laz frowns. "What do you want me to do? I'm not just going to sit back. Tim is important to my father in law and the entire crew of Aurora and Thomas and his siblings already consider him a second father."

"Do you still have that cloak?" Scratch looks at Laz, who grimaced.

"I do." Laz sighs.

"Keep it close." Scratch gets up. "And you have Thomas to look after. I may be able to-"

"No. That isn't my decision. As I said before, stop offering me that." Laz scowls. "Get out and let me pray to beings who never existed."

Scratch frowns. "I apologize again." He vanishes, leaving Lazarus alone.

Laz returns to softly praying as he turns his head down.

.......

"Oi fuckhead wake up." Alex crosses their arms standing over Trevor who groans.

"Fuck off Alex." Trevor huffs. "I'm comfy."

"Dad made you dinner." Alex rolls their eyes. "Get the fuck up and enjoy it. The others think it's poisoned because they don't trust dad's ability to cook." They pause. "Hasn't actually stopped Marius or Lyf, though."

"Are they disappointed?" Trevor struggles out of the tightly wrapped blanket.

"Oh, immensely, but I can't tell which one." Alex snickers when Trevor throws his shirt at them and gets a clean one.

Trevor yawns and rubs his eyes. "Alright, alright, I'm coming." He groans as he hops out of bed. "My body still hurts."

"Thomas says that's normal." Alex smirks.

"Fuck Thomas." Trevor scoffs.

"Laz is already doing that." Alex chuckles, pulling back their hair. They were always the first to go completely gray.

"I hate you." Trevor rolls his eyes.

They both playfully banter all the way to the dining hall.

"You two don't have to look so disappointed." Jonny huffs, his tail lashing behind him.

"I wanted to eat something bad." Marius scowls eating a second helping.

Jonny rolls his eyes. "Again banned from baking."

Marius puffs out his cheeks. "Damnit."

Lyf snickers. "Ignore him this is very good."

"Damn right, it is." Jonny huffs. "You two brats sit the fuck down and I'll feed ya."

Trevor nods and sits next to Thomas, who is eating quietly. Alex sits across from Marius and Lyf.

Thomas swallows his bite and puts his fork down. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm still in fucking pain." Trevor sighs. "But you already know that. I want to go back to bed." He thanks his dad for the food.

"It doesn't really get easier, but you'll get used to it." Thomas crossed his arms. "What were you talking about before?"

Trevor raised a brow. "Before what?"

"When dad was carrying you right before he bundled you up in blankets." Thomas raised a brow.

"Well, I know dad is the one who did that because you could never get it right, but we were talking?" Trevor matched the raised brow.

Jonny sits next to Trevor. "I told you so."

Thomas huffs. "Shut up."

Trevor has a look of mild confusion. "Genuinely, I have no idea what you are talking about or why dad's right. Um, where Laz? He's normally glued to your side when your legs go."

"Infirmary." Thomas sighs. "Speaking of which, where is Tim?"

"I didn't put a tracker on him." Jonny rolls his eyes. "He's a grown ass adult even with a fucked up mind he can defend himself and he's somewhere on Aurora or my mom's ship. Aurora would alarm if he left."

"Tim is currently napping in his patch of dirt in the garden. He is lying face down, and a new thing has happened flowers have grown over him like a blanket." Aurora chirps. "Also, Nastya is coming to kill the thing you cooked even though I told her it was proper food. I understand why she doesn't trust you that creature is still in my vents."

"I can fucking cook!" Jonny huffs as his kids snicker around him.

"Unfortunately, I have to agree because I was craving something burnt." Marius sighs, laying his head on the table.

Alex snickers louder.

"You burn baked goods, not an actual meal." Mae scoffs. "That's a waste of good meat."

"I can set something on fire if that will help." Janet smiles from her seat.

"I really rather you wouldn't." Lyf frowns.

"Surprise the space cop is a fucking downer." Mae rolls her eyes.

"No fun allowed." Janet huffs.

"Why are you even here?" Alex gets up with their plate.

Thomas chuckles. "Fucker can't handle a little arson."

"I'm going to flick lit matches at you." Trevor clicks his tongue.

"Jonny, control your children." Lyf looks over to glare.

"One they are adults and can do what they want and two you're being a little bitch." Jonny grins.

Marius snorts laughing.

Aurora chirps out a laugh. "I agree with your children they need a new siblings."

Jonny growls. "I'm going to say no on principal now you fucks."

"So I fucking told you!" Thomas huffs.

.......

"Lazarus wasn't wrong. This place sure is a mess." Scratch hums softly, walking through a horror scene. "You are quite strong, but you are still merely human."

"Get out! You don't belong here!" A voice shouts, and rotten vines tries to grab Scratch but go right through him.

"That is quite cute. You keep trying, but I'm not leaving till I get to your center." Scratch groans. "I sound more like my dad every day." He phases through a shut door, and the scenery changes. "Oh!"

A man with bouncing curls and coffee color skin stares at Scratch. He has a pair of broken goggles on a worn military uniform on. He was sitting in a bunk on a base that no longer existed in reality.

"It's not often I get find surprises." Scratch smiles with too many teeth. "How long have you been in here?" Are you even aware of the world around since you died?"

The man frowns. "I got stuck in here trying to get Timmy to notice me, but I just went through him. I think I realized I was dead at that point, but I ended up here. Did we win?"

"You humans are fascinating creatures. However, does it really matter if you guys won or not? The war has long been forgotten. Times a fickle bitch like that." Scratch tilts his head. "However, this is a problem. You're unknowingly blocking Tim from recovering, well, not blocking, making it harder. You really are out of the loop. I can fix that."

"Fix...? What did you do to Tim?" The man growls and gasps as he his picked up by his throat.

"Now don't get feisty, I have to figure out how this will work. A deal would suffice, wouldn't you agree?" Scratch hums. "You don't really have a choice because I will remove you either way."

"What are you?" The man growls.

Scratch smiles. "A god, for one. Two, how about I take you out and give you a form that will last just as long as Tim will, and in exchange, you'll be permanently removed from his head."

"Fine. Fine, you win. I don't buy the god thing, you bloody devil." The man vanishes with Scratch.

Scratch cracks his back, holding a glowing green flame in his hand as a black goo surrounds it, and it becomes a pair of dog tags. He places them down in the garden and vanishes.

TS finds the dog tags and assumes they're Jonny's.

.......

"Attetion, there is an intruder that has suddenly appeared in front of Jonny's door. They are wearing a male uniform from the moon war where Jonny picked up Tim. He has broken goggles on and has brown skin and big ringlet curls. They currently don't seem hostile and frankly look quite confused. However, you may use this information how you wish, and Nastya has given me permission to use my alarms until they are apprehended. Happy hunting!" The robotic female voice was the first thing Bertie heard as he got to his feet.

"Where the fuck am I?" Bertie shakes his head and pulls down his goggles. He heard shouting and decided to run would be better than to confront people who were hunting him.

"Remember we want him alive. That means no lethal force, as if any of you is capable of that." The woman laughs through the speakers.

"Found him!" A voice rings out.

"Use me at a battering ram!" A different voice shouts.

"Dibs!"

"Fuck!"

Bertie keeps running adrenaline running in his veins as he runs into an open garden. He didn't have time to dwell on the face. There is something like this on a spaceship. He screams in shock as his feet get lifted off the ground and he is hanging upside down.

"Hi Bertie!" A entirely familiar cheery voice answers.

"T-Tim?!" Bertie gasps adrenaline fading. "W-wha-" His vision went black.

.....

"Fucking second time he gets to end the hunt." Ashes growls.

Jonny froze. "Ashes shut up." He runs towards Tim and motions to his kids to stay. "Tim what did you call him?"

"You know him, it's Bertie." Tim smiles wide.

"Tim, Bertie is dead." Jonny steps back as Tim steps closer to him.

"He doesn't bleed right, but it is Bertie." Tim pulls Jonny into a hug. "He's wearing what he died in trying to save you, which was very stupid." He says while smiling. He kets go of Jonny. "His goggles are even broken from where you headbutted him to try to remove your gas mask to put on him. It was quite a stupid death."

Jonny swallows. "Tim, how about we put Bertie down? Trevor wants to talk to you."

Tim pauses his expression flickers for a moment before Bertie's unconscious body falls to the ground. "Not mad?"

Trevor is pushed in front of his siblings. "I uh no? Why would I be mad? I mean, it was bound to happen. If not you, it would be something else."

"That is a fair argument for our track record." Mae points to Janet.

"Again rude but fair." Janet shrugs. "To be fair, I was expecting you to say Alex because they always get into fights over their rigged bets."

"I mean that would work too and I'm not against it." Alex shrugs.

"Thomas?" Mae smirks looking at her twin.

"Fuck you." Thomas huffs.

"I mean, if you aren't gonna say it, you have a terrible temper." Trevor thins his lips.

"The embodiment of too angry to die." Mae snickers.

Thomas pinched his brow and sighed heavily.

Trevor realized that dad was using this to pick up Bertie and get him somewhere to be looked over. "Um, can I get a hug? I mean, as a thank you to get this over with."

Tim's lips quirked up into a smile. "Hug, baby?"

"Not really a baby, but sure." Trevor gasps as Tim runs and pulls him into a tight hug. "Actually, you know what? I'm not leaving. You have a tight hug." He starts to purr as his face gets red.

"Good baby!" Tim smiles wide.

"Tim, I think you keep doing that he's going to fall asleep." Thomas clears his throat sort of jealous.

"Fuck that I want a nap. Hug me next." Mae also caught up quickly. She also really missed being bundled up tight, but just like her dad will never admit it.

Tim looks behind him. "Jonny took Bertie." He holds Trevor in a bridal carry. "That's ok. You are very good." He turns back and smiles. "Babies are mine now!"

Trevor shakes his head out of his daze. "Wait what?"

Tim grabs the rest of them with his vines. "Naptime for clever babies."

"I mean, at least he's taking me in my chair." Thomas sighs.

"Don't wanna break legs." Tim hums as he begins to wall forward.

"Honestly, though, wouldn't mind a nap." Alex yawns.

"That's because you pulled an all-nighter creating a new betting pool with Aurora on the probability of us getting new siblings and what gender they will pick." Janet rolls her eyes.

Mae raised a brow. "And you thought I was bad about you and Laz."

Thomas blinks. "Actually, yeah, I think Alex is the worst now."

"I stand by my creations." Alex crosses their arms. "Also, everyone who knew already placed bets."

Thomas just shakes his head.

"Babies need nap now." Tim hums the tune of Tim goes crazy.

.......

"I have to say this is the first time I've ever seen something like this." Carmillia laughs. "I can't say I'm bored with my imprisonment."

"I hate to say it, but Carmillia is right. I have no idea what to make of this." Raphaella sighs. "Tests literally show nothing wrong but his blood is a different color."

"Of course it doesn't." Laz groans walking into the lab. "I know excatly what this is and who did this."

"Care to share?" Carmillia crosses her arms.

"Scratch, the god who made me their acolyte. I had a feeling a spirit was trapped in his head, but I didn't really think he would be pulled out, let alone given a physical body again. Remove his dog tags." Laz points and Raphealla does, and the body vanishes. "It's always anchored. Those dog tags are his anchor he'll reform once you put them down."

"Is this common?" Raphaella tilts her head, placing the tags down, watching with interest as Bertie reappers.

Laz huffs out a bitter laugh. "It's the closest you'll find Scratch acting like his father. It's cruel, and there is only a handful of these I've seen. Bertie has been cut off from ever moving on, and of course, he had to agree to it for it to work. The only peace he can now get is having his anchor in a place he can not reform. Those tags are indestructible. Trust me, I've seen the attempts at trying." He steps forward. "Get Jonny back in here. It would be best if you had someone he knew to explain this." He vanishes without another word.

Raphealla frowns. "How uquine, I wouldn't mind testing the limits with consent, of course." She quickly grins.

"That sounds splendid." Carmillia grins back.

.......

Jonny holds his jaw and sighs. "One, if you're going to punch me, make sure you're prepared." He raised his brow as Bertie curses, holding his hand. "Two, I can't change the fact that time has passed. Be mad, but know this is your reality now."

"Bloody fuck, what is wrong with your face?" Bertie rubs his broken hand.

"New Texans such as myself have reinforced bones for starters, and our skulls are built to take damage, hence why I headbutt." Jonny motions to his horns. "Also, why do you think New Texans are short? Our skin is padded, and our bodies are made for impacts. We have denser body mass for a reason. I can pull myself out of a sandpit being buried alive. You humans ain't the default."

Bertie sighs. "Fine, I don't have to like it, but why are you telling me any of this? Why hasn't Tim come out to talk to me?"

Jonny frowns and looks away. "That's another reason, Tim's hurt."

"You're immortal. Try again." Bertie scowls.

"We can still be hurt." Jonny mutters quietly. He takes a breath and grabs Bertie. "It would be better if you saw the truth because you're sure as shit ain't gonna believe me."

Bertie follows with uncertainty in his features. They arrive on a different ship.

A woman stood in the entrance with a raised brow. She was the same height as Jonny, her horns curled around her ears, unlike Jonny's. She looked similar to Jonny. Her arms were crossed. "What brings you here?"

Jonny sighs. "Unfortunately, this man won't believe me if I tell him the truth." He looked uncomfortable. "I need dad to show him the stuff about Tim."

The woman frowns and unhooks her watch, handing it over to Jonny. "Are you sure?"

"I won't be watching." Jonny sighs. "Bertie here will be watching till he asks for it to stop."

Bertie narrows his gaze. "How can I trust you didn't fuck with the footage."

"I wish it was doctorared." Jonny shakes his head, tossing the watch to Bertie. "Show him the truth."

Bertie rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say."

The watch comes to life, and the video starts to play. Jonny heads inside with the woman.

........

"Was it really wise to leave that man with your father watching that?" Valerie sips her tea.

Jonny frowns. "The idiot got himself killed, giving me the gas mask. I tried to save him, but he's stubborn." He shakes his head. "No, he's angry, and I don't think anything I could say would make him believe me. He shouldn't have to see Tim like this without the context."

"You've become a good man, Jonny." Valerie smiles. "I'm glad we finally got to reunite."

Jonny smiles softly. "I suppose I can't argue with ya mom." He sighs. "What did Scratch even do?"

"Well, from what he told me, he found Bertie in Tim's head. Which isn't unheard of spirits getting trapped in the living quite often, and when that living person dies, they move on together. Well, that's how it's supposed to happen." Valerie sips her tea. "Although obviously none of us stay dead for that to work. Apparently, Bertie was creating a block unintentionally and so Scratch removed him. It's his fault for accepting the deal."

Jonny nods and stops before he makes a noise when Bertie runs in, throwing the watch at Jonny, which Valerie catches.

"You're so fucked up! How the fuck did you create this?" Bertie was fuming.

Valerie puts the watch back on reconnecting it to something Bertie doesn't see. "Now, he didn't create that. You have humanity to thank for that."

"What? So you're saying... you're saying.... bloody hell." Bertie covers his face.

Jonny sighs getting up. "I tried to warn you. We can't die, but that doesn't mean we can't be hurt, tortured, get sick, and destroyed. Tim.... Tim is recovering. He should be napping with my brats."

"Oh, he is. TS sent me pictures." Valerie smiles softly.

"Wait, one, you have kids?" Bertie stares at Jonny. "Who would have your kids?"

"Me." Jonny rolls his eyes. "Why do people keep asking me that?"

Bertie pauses as something clicks. "Oh right, um, sorry.... also, isn't Tim radioactive? Shouldn't you be worried about your kids?"

Jonny snickers. "We're from a desert planet. We don't have the thing Earth has protecting it from a suns radiation." He takes a breath. "Besides, that isn't what you should be worried about. How Tim reacts to being woken should be your concern."

"What?" Bertie stares at Jonny.

.......

Tim is curled around Laz, who looked annoyed. Thomas was awake trying very hard not to laugh. Everyone else was out cold.

Bertie and Jonny stared at the scene.

Jonny opens his mouth and pauses. "How did Laz get involved?"

Thomas covers his mouth taking a deep breath.

Laz huffs, causing Tim to curl around tighter. "I made the mistake of looking for my partner."

Bertie quietly. "Is he an alien too?"

Jonny snorts. "No, he's human."

"But his eyes." Bertie motions to his own face.

Jonny starts to cackle manically. He wakes up everyone.

"I'm so glad you find this hilarious." Laz sighs as Tim hugs tighter.

"Mmmm, Jonny." Tim mutters. "Laz is a good pillow priest."

This causes Thomas to break laughing. "I'm fucking stealing that."

"I hate everyone in this room." Laz groans.

"Tim, come on, get up. Bertie wants to talk to you." Jonny sighs.

Tim unwrapped himself and got up rubbing his face, Bertie notes that he purposely avoids his eyes. "Ok we can talk."

Bertie takes in the image of his friend. Tim was skinny, skinner than even the worst times on the base. He was pale and looked exhausted. His hair was buzzed short, and he knew the man hated it when it was buzzed for the military. The vines did come out of his skin, and it looked swollen like he was tugging at them. His clothes were purposely hemmed to be shorts and short sleeved. He had a pair of goggles around his neck, and he had a feeling that was just out of comfort. There was a longer lanyard around his neck with a strange dial. He didn't know what that was. "Hey Tim, it's been a while."

"You've been dead." Tim tilts his head.

[empiriical]

"oh, i get it," elmer says, voice cheerful as ever, as if he's solved a riddle instead of, apparently, the inner workings of a hitman-with-no-record's mind. "hm. that's too bad."

elmer, for all his lack of tact, has a keen intuition. smiles reveal so much. but even in the absence of one...

"what you're saying is that you want something that would result in you not being able to be considered 'good' by other people's standards. you're definitely not the only person in the world who has that desire! although, i think they're thinking more less about what other people think, && more about what they want. && that's fair too! if it makes them happy, who am i to judge?"

smiling brilliantly at laz, elmer has a look about him of a mad genius math professor who's just completed an enigmatic equation. then he claps his hands together in childish delight, && that illusion is shattered. "that's the thing — i really don't care if you're good or not. as long as you can smile, nothing else matters to me. although, if you're going to kill people at some point in the future, could you do me a favor && try to make sure they die happy? then everyone wins!"

then, expression turning oddly serious, he places a hand on the man's shoulder, forcing eye contact. "so i guess that just leaves one issue, mister gunmeister smith — will killing someone make you happy?"

❛ you're a pretty good guy yourself, so relax and just live. ❜ / elmer for laz. idk what this is. take it

He stops short before managing to speak, jaw shutting with a quick snap so he doesn't say something he's not prepared to.

They haven't encountered eachother more than once, so Laz doesn't know what to make of Elmer C. Albatross quite yet. He's something like the simplest possible enigma---while Laz can figure him out relatively quickly, the question was never "what". It was "how".

Obviously, he shouldn't want to hear something like that. It's the opposite of the image he strives for, though he gets the impression that Elmer wouldn't actually fear him even if he were a madman who killed for the fun of it. In any case, there's not really a reason Laz should want to hear the words "you're a pretty good guy" out of anyone's mouth, even if it is coming from someone like Elmer.

Not everyone is as quick to accept the things people lay out in front of them as Graham.

He reaches up and tugs the brim of his hat just enough to obscure his eyes, which surely hold unwarranted frustration.

"Tch ... As if you could assign a word like 'good' to a lunatic."

But Elmer isn't wrong. He's the only hitman he knows to have yet to take a life, and he's too cowardly to carry through with something like that in the first place. Laz knows that if there were ever such a thing as a "good" hitman, he would be the closest thing to it.

"Those of us with ambition don't have the luxury of relaxing. If even one person still thinks I'm good, I haven't done enough."

just elmer things. / accepting.

[arcadekore]

sketches and notes of some of the antags in polarity skies I did for fun :] most of the antags are tied to the Hearth, a cult led by Ambrose, a cosmic being of higher power hoping to take over the Earth from Elysia, the current guardian of the world. Ambrose’s plan of course is to reset the entire world by using Lazarus’ (aka the big sad emo man that hangs out with Celeste) dormant powers to enact what he calls the rapture. Laz of course doesnt really want that so he fucked off to Celeste to help and Ambrose will stop at nothing to get him back!

At his crew are Sylvain, a power-hungry executive, formerly a soldier for Elysia’s angel knights, arguably the most powerful one before defecting . He works in the big city and it seems like he likes to be stressed just for the sake of complaining about it. He believes he’d make a better leader of the Hearth. He also hates Laz’s guts.

Next is Wesley, a young hacker recently employed by the Hearth and causes terror online in the basement of an abandoned bar. From trolling to hacking or scamming people online with pump-and-dump crypto, Wesley takes care of anything computer related with his genius and with the help of his powers to manipulate technology.

Lastly is Mira, a former angel knight like Sylvain, she was initially murdered after uncovering some evidence of Elysia’s cruelty within the angel knights. After Sylvain defected the knights he asked Ambrose for help and revived her with….consequences. Now she’s a shell of her former self, seen more as a “burden” than anything else.

I didn’t include Rosella because although she’s an antagonist in the first arc, she’s not necessarily fully affiliated w the Hearth.

Intro to celesteverse is here!

[laz-kay]

Just a few kiddos🥹

Hey, loves. Hope your weekends have gone smoothly. I personally feel like I haven’t had one, but that’s work’s fault. In honesty, couldn’t complain about my shift yesterday, but I’m just pissed that it was a nice day out and I spent the majority of it in work dealing with other people’s bullshit. Alas.

Today was no better tbf. I spent it helping my folks with all the stuff I couldn’t do for them yesterday, and as soon as I got the chance to sit and do something for myself, something else came up. It is what it is. Work begins at 12 tomorrow, and I’m seriously considering just handing in my notice and hoping to lucifer something else comes up before too long.

The dream would be for someone to come up to me and say “hey, Laz. Wanna be a contracted voice actor for x amount of years for a cartoon that’s sure to blow everyone’s tits off?!” but I sadly live in the real world of working class Britain, but I’ll never make it unless I try. Problem is, work means I have 0 time to do that.

I’ll try not to wallow too much this week if I can, but it’s hard. My brother’s birthday’s coming up which should be a laugh. I’m excited to give him his gifts!😇

[robotspacealien]

An old snippet I wrote for the Pitfighter AU I think last year? It’s almost certainly outdated, but here have it anyway :>

Cw: blood, death, injury, shock

To The Victor Goes Tomorrow

Orion’s first victory and the toll it took on him.

Orion's back hit the dusty arena floor, leaving him in a graceless sprawl, eyes suddenly squinting up against too-bright stadium lights and the grey sky just beyond them- and then he was scrambling unright- every second not on your feet is a death sentence- fear driving him to stand up again on unsteady legs. Quickly cooling energon- not all his, too much to be all his- dripped off his frame to spatter and soak into the dirt underfoot.

His frame all but trembled with exhaustion as nervous electricity and pain signals pinged off his circuits in-time, it was an effort to move at all- keep going! keep going! keep going!

He whipped around to face his opponent again- stupid, stupid why’d you give him your back- surprised the other mech wasn’t on him again already-

The big red hauler sat hardly holding himself up on one arm, armor involuntarily flared and quivering in shock, yellow optics wide and panicked, staring into the sky at nothing. The blunt end of a pike stuck out from a gap in his collar flaring that otherwise protected his neck, just under his jaw, the weapon speared down, down, deep as Orion could drive it into him, forcing the mech’s head into an awkward, upward angle.

Red paint was streaked in wide bands of blue as energon seeped out of him in a steady flow, from his intake, from around the pike, from the sputtering, drowning vents in his abdomen, his whole frame hitching as it tried to inhale and found that it couldn’t.

The roar of the crowd seemed to cave in on Orion, the deafening cacophony burying him alive, dread nailing him to the spot and heavy enough to nearly make his wobbling knees buckle. He stared blankly forward, gaze locked on the mech as his optics dimmed to black and the one arm holding him up gave out, the quickly graying body slumping fully onto the floor in slow motion.

A voice boomed, louder than anything, stinging his frying audio sensors, and drowning out the roaring static of the crowd, “LAZARUS TAKES THE WIN AND LIVES ANOTHER DAY!”

The crowd screamed,“LAZ-UR-US!” several times over in response, cheering for him, congratulating him, shaking the arena as they stomped their feet in unison in time with the syllables of the name that wasn't his.

The medics filed out onto the floor shortly after the chant faded, two other gladiators in tow to scrape the large corpse off the ground. One of the fighters pulled the pike from the dead mech’s neck in one last spill of energon and heaved him onto a slab to be carried off. The medics watched and did not bother to put their hands on him, they were here for little more than formality and would be busy picking the mech apart the moment they got him into the medbay. Orion was gestured by one of them to follow as they made their exit, not waiting to see if he actually could- but he’s numbly limping behind them regardless as they descended down into the tunnels below and out of sight.

The darkness of the entrance gave way to the pale yellow of artificial lights, the noise of the arena muffled and the sound of metal footsteps on stone suddenly hurt his adjusting audials. He was still fixed on the dead mech, an arm hung off the slab just visible around the bulk of one of the gladiators and it bounced with the pair’s every step, blue dripping off of red fingers and leaving a sporadic trail behind them.

A medic, he doesn't look to see which one, complains about the mess he’s made.

Something he couldn’t name hit him and suddenly he wasn’t following any of them anymore, unsure when he turned off into a side-tunnel, alone and far from himself as his body moved purposelessly forward.

He walked until the noise of the arena and the sound of another fight starting above was only a dull roar barely heard through the stone, until his systems wound down more and more and he could properly feel the toll the fight had taken on his frame, pain creeping up his struts as his injuries made themselves known. In a shiver, his knees gave out, the hydrologics in his legs finally giving up and depressurizing in a long hiss. His shoulder hit the wall as his frame pivoted to lean on it, shaking as he fought to stay upright, to keep standing, but his body had no fight left and quickly gave into gravity, slowly sliding down the wall and leaving a streak of paint and dried energon behind until his aft hit the floor.

He curled into himself there in the silence under the dim lighting of the hardly-used passageway, anchoring himself in the pain clawing through his neuralnet and the even cycling of his vents, He tried hard not to see the image of the dying mech branded into his permanent memory. His crest had been ripped almost clean off and the exposed circuitry stung as he rested his forehead on his filthy knees when he pulled them in close to his chest. The sound of tiny shards of glass hitting his armor and then the floor as the busted glass of his chestplate shed more of itself as he tried to ball himself up tightly.

He was shaking enough to hear his armor rattle as he stared into the dark pocket of his body- the biolights that should be there having been long-since destroyed and never replaced- his optics being the only thing to cast its dim light into the space. The ghost of the hand that had gripped him around the waist and squeezed lingered, the ache of bent armor fresh as every other injury. Then he was away from himself again, hardly registering his frame sinking just that much further to lay on the floor as his recent memory replayed itself over and over again, one moment overlaying the next in near perfect clarity. He felt the sting of the calpularies behind his optics bursting and the fresh energon streaking down his dirty face as he laid there, unable to stand and curled up like a sparkling.

A new cold crept up his frame and he started to fade, unable to fight the coming emergency shutdown, he fell offline.

[lazinesswrites]

Me, taking a break from thesis writing to work on yet another Bad Batch fanfic: 😁😅

Me, realizing I will have to do not only some research into how the hell coordinates work in Star Wars, but also math: 😨😱

[lazaruspiss]

new pinned post :]

hi! I'm Ashton, but Laz and other nicknames are ok too. he/they/it are all fine by me, you can also use neopronouns if you’d like.

(If you are under 18 then do not follow me or interact with any of my NSFW posts. I understand if you happened upon one of my SFW posts and got here on accident, but this is my grown-up space, so please turn around.)

Do not interact if pro-kink or pro-fiction content offends you. You don't want to see my posts and I don't want to hear you complain!

Asks are open for just about anything, NSFW content included. Just be nice.

I take requests! art and edits mostly, although I do write as well. so if you have any ideas then you’re free to ask! I can’t promise I’ll do everything that comes my way, but I do like to try.

I also have a ko-fi, it’s not quite the same as commissions (setting those up stresses me out), but I can give you a thank you doodle or something if you donate :]

If you want to use anything I post as a prompt feel free to! Just let me know and link back to me if you post it.

I sometimes post about more serious and/or personal things on here under #ramble tag, so if you'd rather just see my silly and/or horny stuff then feel free to blacklist that.

Another tag you might want to blacklist: #laz's hater corner, which is where I bitch about things that personally bother me. The posts there shouldn't be taken too seriously, but I do get pretty mean sometimes, so be wary of that.

alright! now onto links (tumblr can be finicky about those on mobile, so I’d recommend looking at my desktop page where I have a theme and a sidebar for these)

Here's my ao3.

I can be spotted on twitter on rare occasions.

I've been trying to archive filler and fluff text from games here.

There's a page for the Batman: The Dailies comics from 1943-1946.

I also live blog as I read/watch things here!

Here’s a page of some my tags!

And if that doesn’t work, here’s art, fics, edits, videos, memes, and metas.

… And if THAT doesn’t work, I’ll go ahead and put those tags on this post as well.

[hypnified]

slush is such a bitch, i love him and hate him at the same time. he's a pathetic wet meow meow, i want to kiss him as a treat. why is he so cruel, i want to gossip with him, i bet he's got some gossip. i wanna hear slush absolutely slander others because i bet he does. we need more slush content, he doesn't get enough love

I shouldn't be laughing at this anon, but seeing "slush is such a bitch" is so funny to me it's insane. But let's be honest he kinda is, but you didn't hear that from me! :)

I haven't really said a whole lot about slush, but I also have an ask with some slush content so there's that, I'll eventually answer that. Kiss him I dare you, he's gonna be such an ass about it too he'll complain and be cruel because it's slush. Out of all my ocs this boy right here is the king of gossip, please if you like gossip go to him or Bear, hell i have a few other ocs you could go to but that's for another post I have planned. But this boy right here has some good gossip, and honestly some of it is just rumours, but if something's going on slush knows!

He's not afraid to slander those close to him, he's good at keeping those around him grounded even though he's a bitch about it. Deep down he does care, I promise.

"don't you have other asshole ocs?" I mean yeah, I have Irais, Laz, you could even argue Skunker and Plasma but I'm not adding them here. Irais doesn't always realise that he's been an asshole, unless it's targeted at his batchmates then it's on purpose. I can't guarantee that Irais will apologise though! Laz wasn't always like this, it's mainly the walls he's put up to not only protect himself but also others. As for Slush, well he's Slush.

[sirwow]

Torn Tapes; Pt 1

The wind blows softly as the start of springtime rolls in and the spruce forest buzzes with life. Grass and sticks crackle under the footsteps of 3 boys traipsing along a trail. Lazarus, Azazel and Cain chat while chewing on their own candies and Cain dragging a box.

Az: “Augh.. never liked how taffy gets stuck on my braces.”

Cain: “Then why do ya keep buying it every time we go to plums?”

Az: “Well it tastes good! Besides you eat jawbreakers and complain about your throat hurting.”

Laz: “Az that’s not how jawbreakers work..”

Az: “Throat, mouth, jaw. Same thing. Anyways, how long is that old generator supposed to work for Cain?”

Cain: “Donno.”

Az: “What do you mean you don’t know? You’re a techie!”

Cain: “I’m a mechanic not a electrician, Az.”

Az: “Like I said, same thing.”

Laz: “Well regardless we should be able to power that old tv in the treehouse with it and play some games. Besides if it’s only an hour or something I’ll just bring mine.”

Az: “Alright alright..”

The three continue through the woods with the old generator and up to a old treehouse. Trash bags of rubbish and tools surround a near cleaned treehouse. The treehouse sits with a combination of fresh planks and old untouched by rain. Cain walks behind Az and Laz with the generator but the wheels of the generator catch on something hollow in the ground and trips up Cain onto the floor.

Laz: “Woah you okay?”

Cain: “Ugh yeah.. fuckin generator got stuck on something. Sounded kinda weird too.”

Az: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Cain: “Sounded hollow is what I mean, now shh..”

Cain goes to the dirty and dusty bump in-front of the generator and taps it with his knuckles. A wooden clicking returns and Cain stands back up with Az n Laz by his sides.

Cain: “Sounds like a box there.”

Az: “Ooh, you think it’s treasure?”

Cain: “Why don’t you find a shovel over there n figure out.”

Az: “Alright but I call dibs on whatever’s in it!”

Cain: “Hey Lazarus mind helping me get this ol thing up there while Az digs himself a hole?”

Laz: “Oh yeah, of course!”

Laz and Cain lift up the generator cord to the tree house and plug in a old box tv together. The tv beams on and sits idle with nothing inside. Along side the Tv inside the treehouse is a new small beanbag, a bookshelf filled to the brim, a rug and scattered papers of future plans and Az’s doodles.

Az: “Hereees the box!” Azazel plops down the box in the center of the rug

Cain: “That was fast.”

Az: “Well it was a lot looser then it looked. Now com’on let’s open it!”

Laz pops open the dusty box and inside sits a large book and several tapes, unnamed. The three start taking things out.

Az: “tapes and a book? What a lame treasure.”

Cain: “Oh boo hoo.“

Az: “I’ll boo hoo your face.”

Laz takes out and opens the book as Cain and Az bicker. It’s a picture book dated 6 years back. The first page immediately catches him off guard.

Laz: “Hey guys? This book has photos of our siblings.”

Az: “Wait really?”

Cain: “Huh?”

Laz lays out the book on the rug with the first picture being a fuzzy image of a younger Judas and Eve. The photo is titled with marker as “photo test” in neat hand writing.

Cain: “Well I’ll be damned. I remember eve hangin out with Judas but she never talked bout it much.”

Az: “Judas never told me anything about his friends.. something about wanting to keep it to himself.”

Laz: “I wonder who took it. Looks like most the first few are of Judas and Eve.”

Az: “Well that one’s of Magdalene.”

Cain: “It’s Maggie. But yeah that’s definitely her. Whats the other pages got.”

Laz flips the page to pictures of an in progress treehouse with a folded up blueprint in the pages.

Laz: “Guess her and whoever her friends were the ones to build this place.”

Az: “No wonder it was so shotty when we found it. A bunch of kids made it!”

Cain: “Uh-huh, we’re also kids Az.”

Az: “Teens! There’s a difference.”

Cain: “Hey. Is that Mary?”

Laz: “What?”

Cain: “Ya sister! Look!”

Cain points to the edge of a photo where a younger Bethany can be seen flying and lifting a plank up to the tree for Eve. Laz takes the book to look closer.

Laz: “..What..? But she..I..”

Laz flips quickly to the next page with Cain and Az looking over his shoulder to peek. The next few pages have multiple pictures of Beth but Laz keeps flipping until coming to a torn page with half a photo still on it. The photo obviously had Judas but Bethany’s pigtails could be seen past the tear.

Az: “Uhm.. you okay Lazarus?”

Laz: “Did you know Judas and Bethany were friends..?”

Az: “I-I thought you did..”

Laz: “No she- I was always sick in my room and she never really told me about her friends other then Maggie.. but she wouldn’t lie to me..”

Az: “mmh..”

Cain: “Well- uh- maybe if we watch these tapes we could figure some more out!”

Laz: “..Yeah. Yeah let’s do that. Besides the rest of the pages in this book look torn up, no point in trying to read torn truths, haha..”

Az: “Yeah let’s see what these old things are. What’s the first one?”

Cain: “Just called “Test”. Guess we better test it out.”

Laz: “I swear to the lord- just put the tape in you dum-dum.”

Cain and Az giggle n Cain after slides the 1st tape in to watch.

End of Pt 1

Next part will be linked once it is up

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 25: A Temple Divided (originally published on June 12, 2023)

AN: At long last, everything begins coming together in the first part of this two-part finale to Little Homeworld Life. Afterwards, we only have Snake Eyes left to cover before finally closing the door on Steven Universe: Alternate Future. Almost every single plotline we've been setting up throughout the entire series will reach what I hope is a satisfying conclusion here, from Black Rutile's control over the Internet, how the Crystal Gems' actions have consequences, the return of Cinnabar, and many more. I think this might be one of the darkest chapters of the series yet, so hold onto your butts as it all comes crumbling down.

Synopsis: With some new and old allies by her side, Black Rutile begins making plans for her latest revenge on the Crystal Gems by breaking them up using some long-forgotten secrets. Meanwhile, President Eduardo Suarez fights for his life against Black Rutile's human supporters.

Cast:

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Ruby, Doc, Navy, Army, Leggy, Mega Ruby

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Famethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, The Black Pearl Brigade

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli, Phoenix Lapis Lazuli

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Erica Luttrell as Sapphire

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Dalmatian Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Jon Wurster as Marty

Shanelle Grey as Sally Grove

Casey Robertson as Neil Michaels

John Kassir as Reginald Anderson

Lin-Manuel Miranda as President Eduardo Suarez

Wendie Malick as Vice-President Theresa Maxwell

GZA as Major General Wade Grant

Tim Curry as General Lloyd Waller

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Martha Higerada as Topaz

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald, Chest Emerald

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid, Eyeball Demantoid

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Olivia Olson as Citrine Twins

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Gina Torres as Andesine

Awkwafina as Kyanite

Allison Janney as Pyrite

Zehra Fazal as Zoisite

Lena Hall as Bloodstone

Jodie Whittaker as Xenotime

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Sarah Jessica Parker as Dumortierite

Cavetown as Diaspore

Barbara Dunkelman as Amber

Kristen Schaal as Howlite

Christoph Waltz as Francis von Bowling

Featuring Stephanie Beatriz as Arleen Suarzez

Xolo Mariduena as Huey Suarez

Leslie Grace as Riley Suarez

Peter Barto as Secret Service Agent

With Alyson Hannigan as Lavenderine

And May Calamawy as Chrome Chalcedony

--

One lovely summer day in Beach City, the Crystal Gems were getting ready for a party. But it wasn't just any party, they were preparing for Ruby and Sapphire's wedding anniversary party and the anniversary of their professional alliance with the Diamonds. The Gems were hard at work on making sure the party was perfect, but little did they realize that this party would be pooped on very soon.

"Okay Zirconias, just put that banner over to the right!" Pearl ordered the Heaven and Earth Cubic Zirconias to move a banner reading 'HAPPY ANNIVERSARY RUBY AND SAPPHIRE' into her requested position. Unfortunately, the two Cubic Zirconias were far too small to carry it and made it fall down. "Okay, maybe I should've told someone else to do it."

"What do you mean you're on a wedding cake shortage?!" Amethyst complained over the phone to a bakery. "Who in the world could possibly want that many cakes?! Oh, the Royal Family? Yeah, that makes sense. I'll just call someone else. Thanks anyways, choom."

"So, how's the happy couple doing right now?" Bismuth asked Ruby and Sapphire as the red and blue married couple oversaw the preparations.

"We're doing wonderful Bismuth, thank you." Sapphire smiled gently.

"Can you believe it's only been four years since we learned Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond?" Ruby asked. "Sometimes, I feel like it's been even longer. Like, way longer!"

"It does feel that way sometimes with everything we've done since then," Pearl added. "Between going to Homeworld, meeting White Diamond for the first time, starting Era 3, the Demantoid & Pyrope crisis, building Little Homeworld, the Spinel crisis, and fighting Black Rutile, it's just been too much."

"Hey Lapis, how's the weather looking?" Amethyst called to Lapis, who was high in the sky to check the weather.

"Looking pretty good, so far!" Lapis replied. "Though I think a storm might be coming soon." She added, pointing to some faint storm clouds in the distance. "Should we start worrying about that? I mean, can't have bad weather on a wedding anniversary."

"I'm sure it won't matter." Ruby declared. "No silly old storm can keep us down! Right, my laughy Sapphy?"

"Oh Ruby, you dog!" Sapphire laughed as Ruby held her one-eyed wife in her arms and kissed her. However, the storm would unknowingly become the least of their worries. Hidden in the distance, Black Rutile snuck into the beach house with a plastic bag full of Gem shards in her hand, hoping that her enemies were far away enough to not notice her entering.

"This had better work." Black Rutile muttered to herself while opening the door to the bathroom and grabbing the three bottles of the Diamonds' essence from the mirror. "I got a lot riding on these bottles to bolster my forces."

After filling the bathtub with water and pouring the essence in, Black Rutile pulled open the bag and dumped the Gem shards into the tub. She sat at the tub crouching in anticipation, hoping what she heard about how Jasper was resurrected after being shattered by a power-mad Steven was true. Suddenly, she saw a light emerging from the tub. "Yes, it's working!"

Black Rutile watched in excitement as Zoisite's deceased team of Phoenix Lapis Lazuli, Eyeball Demantoid, Chest Emerald, and the Citrine Twins were fully restored to life. "Happy welcome back day, my friends!" she exclaimed. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Black Rutile! You may remember me for rising to the top of White Diamond's court only to realize how much of it was built on a lie by my Diamond's demented sense of humor!"

"I'm sorry, I'm going to need a refresher here since I just came back to life." Phoenix Lapis muttered while getting out of the tub and shaking water out of her hair. "Your Diamond did what now?"

"Listen to me, I shall explain everything along the way." Black Rutile stated as she helped the rest of Zoisite's formerly deceased subordinates out of the bathtub. "Just follow me to this place called Little Homeworld that I'm forced to reside in here on Earth."

"Oh, you bet I'm going to need a heads up." One of the Citrine twins muttered as Black Rutile led the newly revived Gems out of the bathroom and onto the Warp Pad.

--

"How's it looking, Howlite?" Bloodstone asked Howlite as the two of them, along with Apatite, Tanzanite, Zoisite, and Demantoid worked together on rebuilding Cinnabar's Rejuvenation Blaster, last used against the Black Pearl Brigade during Cinnabar's attempted takeover of Homeworld.

"Firing rate is at an optimal state," Howlite replied as she did some coding on the Blaster's reprogramming powers. "And at Cinnabar's suggestion, we've increased the permanence of the weapon's effects on Gems. Though there is one strand of code that we've yet to cover."

"Yeah, whatever, when can we test this baby?" Zoisite exclaimed as she took the Rejuvenation Blaster and pointed it around.

"Not yet Zoisite, you have to wait until we have built enough for everybody!" Demantoid yelled while snatching the blaster away. "Plus, as Howlite said, there is but one strand of code we've yet to fix." Just then, there was a knock on the door. "Can someone get that?"

"I'll get it," Apatite said as she walked over and opened the door to see Black Rutile standing outside. "Oh, hey boss. Need anything?"

"I'd like to see Zoisite, please." Black Rutile responded politely. "I have something she'd like to see." As Zoisite got up and walked to the front door at the mention of her name, Black Rutile moved to the side to reveal the assassin's old team behind her. To say Zoisite was overjoyed to see them again despite their untimely demises would be an understatement. Instead, she was overcome with so much joy, she started sobbing as she pounced on her old gang.

"Apparently, the Diamonds' essences can restore shattered Gems." Black Rutile muttered as she turned away from the touching moment. "Kind of renders everything we've sacrificed completely pointless, huh?"

"Not right now, in the middle of a long-awaited reunion." Zoisite cried softly while wrapping her former subordinates in a group hug just as Dalmatian Jasper entered the scene.

"Aw, we missed you too, boss." The chest Emerald said. "So, this Steven fellow is the reason you're stuck here?"

"It's not just him, but the entire corrupt system the Crystal Gems have forced onto us!" Black Rutile declared. "I have lost everything thanks to them! My status, my possessions, my armies, everything!"

"Basically, she's out for revenge." Dalmatian Jasper reiterated. "So Zee, this is your old team, huh?"

"Yes, I'd like you to meet everybody." Zoisite sighed happily before pointing to each member of her hit-squad. "This is Phoenix Lapis, that's Demantoid, this is Emerald, and those are the Citrine twins."

"We can talk later, it's planning time." Black Rutile declared as she walked inside her house. "The pieces are all about to fall into place once more. Let me ask you all, how were the Crystal Gems always able to save the day all the time?" she asked her minions. "Well, it's because they had the power of teamwork. Now, this leads me to come to a conclusion. What if we were able to turn them against each other somehow? All we need to do is break the weakest link."

"Finally!" Marty cheered as he emerged from the shadows behind Black Rutile. "I've been itching to make a move on those extraterrestrial dykes for ages!"

"The white man using slurs against members of a minority he hates so much." Sally Grove added dourly. "Typical."

"We are ready and willing to serve, my Rutile." Francis von Bowling proclaimed while Lennie, Milton, Rasputina, Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo stood behind him. Pavel held a tablet that had Neil Michaels' face on it.

"Anything to finally show up Pearl for all she's done to me." Neil groaned in exasperation.

"Good to see my team is still on the same page." Black Rutile declared deviously. "Now, Dr. Brenner, connect me to Mr. Johnson."

"With pleasure, my Rutile." James Brenner said sadly as he turned on Black Rutile's computer to show the white supremacist podcaster Reginald Johnson's face on it.

"Hello?" Reginald asked while adjusting his camera. "Oh hey, the alien lady! I've heard about you!"

"Ah, Reginald, so glad we could talk on this momentous occasion." Black Rutile answered. "You may know me as Black Rutile. Revolutionary, influencer, terrorist. I believe Sally Grove may have talked to me."

"Yeah, I've heard her talk about you, but I was barely paying attention because she kept going on and on about how just because I'm a white man, that doesn't mean I can get away with everything," Reginald said. "I swear, women on the Internet, am I right?!"

"I'm standing right here, white savior!" Sally complained. "Having us on the same team was a bad idea!"

"Both of you, shut up!" Black Rutile yelled at Sally and Reginald. "Reggie, are you and your followers all set for Operation: Olympus Down?"

"Yep, about 2,000 strong, give or take!" Reginald proudly stated. "Most of them are still ticked off that Ronald Crump lost to Suarez in the election! Even with all his men, that old fart won't see it coming!"

"So, remind me what this has to do with the president?" Sally asked Black Rutile.

"It's because he was there to help the Gems stop my plans the first time around, and I plan on getting my revenge!" Black Rutile answered. "In all my browsing of the Internet, I have learned one thing that ruled them all, that if you expose someone to anger long enough, they will learn to hate. And boy have these creatures been exposed to plenty of hate!" She began displaying many controversies over the years to prove her point. "Hatred, bigotry, war, destruction, all over the silliest of things like a video game, movie, or TV show with a cult-like fanbase torturing someone with a different opinion, corrupt businessmen destroying the environment, or feeling intimidated by a person of a certain minority being superior to them in every way imaginable."

Black Rutile then projected a chessboard from her visor with pieces representing the Crystal Gems. "To put it simply, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate shall lead to suffering." She began to rearrange the pieces, with Garnet, Pearl, and Bismuth on one side, while the other side had Lapis, Amethyst, and Peridot.

--

Back at the anniversary party, preparations were almost complete. All that was left to do now was to invite guests, buy decorations, find a cake, and get the party started. So far, almost everyone who attended the wedding had invitations written, along with a few friends the Gems made since then. Meanwhile, Greg was sent off to find a cake for the party.

"Okay, quick question everybody." Lapis wondered while making some RSVPs. "Where do we stand with the Diamonds right now?"

"I think they might still be upset with us for calling them out on how their treatment of Pink started all this mess," Garnet replied. "But thankfully, as far as I know, they haven't decided to get revenge and turn back to their old ways, as much as Black Rutile would probably kill to see that."

"Let's just send an invite just in case. If they don't want to come, that shouldn't be any of our business." Pearl said before sealing an envelope with Amethyst's tongue. "I'm just worried though. What if what they said about how we treated Steven was true?"

"Eh, what's past is prologue, or whatever that play said," Amethyst responded coolly. "I'm not ready to go through that whole drama again."

"Still, can you believe how long it's been since the Rebellion?" Lapis mused, making a nearby Bismuth start looking uncomfortable. "Feels like yesterday that I was sent down for a visit only to get chucked into the Rebellion, and then I got poofed and stuck in that mirror."

"Hey, uh, Pearl?" Bismuth called for Pearl. "Can I speak with you for a second? Preferably alone."

"Oh, of course," Pearl said as the blacksmith took her aside to have a private chat behind one of the destroyed stone hands. "What's on your mind, dear? Something about the Rebellion, I suppose."

"Well, it's about how Lapis got involved in things." Bismuth nervously stated to Pearl. "You know how she was poofed and put in that mirror? Well, it turns out I was the one who poofed her."

"What?!" Pearl squawked in shock before Bismuth put her hand over Pearl's mouth, hoping Lapis wouldn't overhear them. "Did you just say you were the one who poofed Lapis?" she said more quietly through Bismuth's hand. "How?"

"I didn't know how it happened either," Bismuth admitted sorrowfully. "I was just in the zone and mistook her for a soldier. It only took until getting to know Lapis better that I realized I'm basically the one who ruined her life."

"Oh, Bismuth, don't be too hard on yourself," Pearl replied soothingly, putting a hand on her rainbow girlfriend's chin. "I'm sure Lapis will understand once you open up to her. Did you really keep this from her for this long?"

"I just haven't had the heart." Bismuth shook her head while looking out at Lapis having fun with Peridot and Amethyst by dunking some fruit punch on Teal Zircon's head. "Just look at her, so happy and free. Do you really think I'm the kind of gal to do that to someone? No, no, a thousand times no!"

While Bismuth declared herself to not be the kind of Gem to keep such a terrible secret for so long, someone was planning to do that for her. Nearby, Morganite kept herself hidden behind another hand while eavesdropping on the two Rebellion veterans. "This is going to be juicy." She purred to herself before disappearing without a trace.

--

"Ay, dios mio, dealing with those Arasaka chumps and trying to stop their oil drilling was harder than I thought." President Eduardo Suarez sighed in relief as he ended another long day of work for the country he ran while walking into the Oval Office. It was a hard job to be sure, but a satisfactory one nonetheless as he loved doing what he could to help the American people. Plus, coming home to his family made even the most challenging of days more worth it.

"Papi!" Eduardo's children, 15-year-old son Huey and 16-year-old daughter Riley cried as they ran up and gave their father a welcome back hug.

"How was work today, Dad?" Huey asked his dad. "How much trouble did those Arasaka people give you?"

"Ugh, they kept me in their offices for hours!" Eduardo complained to his son. "They kept going on and on about how because they're so rich, they deserve everything! Newsflash Saburo, you're saying you're richer than the freaking President! Millionaires, am I right?"

"If I were you, I'd have just told them to shove off!" Riley added eagerly. "They don't know who they're talking to at all!"

"Now, Riley, no need to get so intense." The president's wife Arleen Suarez said as she walked into the office and kissed her husband-in-chief. "Just rest now, mi amor. You earned it after today."

"Thank you, dear." Eduardo sighed contently before he heard a knock at the door. "Come in!" A secret service agent then entered the room. "Good day, sir. Anything you'd like to tell me?"

"Mr. President, sir, there is someone who'd like to speak with you." The agent said in a robotic monotone. "Him and his army of more than 2,000 followers who voted for Crump in the election."

"I'm sorry, what?" Eduardo said before Reginald Johnson kicked down the door to the Oval Office and strode in with an exaggerated swagger like he owned the place before sitting down at the president's desk. "Sir, I'm going to ask you to remove yourself from my desk at once, por favor."

"Sorry el Presidente, but you can't tell me what to do anymore!" Reginald yelled angrily while pointing an accusing finger at the president. "You and the rest of your kind have been a stain on our green Earth for way too long now!"

"Oh poo, another prejudiced douchebag." Riley snarked. "Look pal, if you think you can just strut in here and tell my dad how much you hate him for his race, then you're in the wrong place! My papi can have your ass folded like a bad hand of cards with just one secret service guy!"

"I'm not talking about his race, ya idjit!" Reginald roared. "I'm talking about guys like him who bend the knee to those damn Crystal Gems who think that they're the rulers of the Earth now!"

"Do not say that about my friends." Eduardo retorted firmly while slamming his hands down on the desk. "They are some of the nicest people I've ever met, human or otherwise. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now because a deranged sociopath would've destroyed the Earth!"

"And that's the problem!" Reginald argued back. "They may have saved Earth, but they're destroying it in other ways too. I'm only doing what's good for people like me and you here, amigo, because that Steven boy's peace-loving ways will be the death of us all! It's in our nature to fight and hate, Eddy, and you simply can't fight nature! The wind blows, rain falls, and the strong prey upon the weak!"

"And what makes you think you can talk down to us like that?" Arleen said, resolutely standing by her husband and children. Reginald simply smirked and snapped his fingers, letting his army of angry followers do the talking for him. Men and women alike were all armed to the teeth as they barged into the Oval Office and surrounded the president's family. "Okay, point taken."

"EVERYBODY SCATTER!" Eduardo screamed in terror as he punched one of the gunmen in the face, grabbed his gun, and started running. "We'll meet back up at the Washington Monument, just go!"

"But what about you?!" Huey exclaimed.

"Leave these bigots to me and the secret service guys!" Eduardo said as he fired at more shooters, their bulletproof vests keeping them from dying as the president ran for his life.

"AFTER HIM!" Reginald screamed while unholstering a rifle from his back and giving pursuit. "That boy ain't right, and I'm gonna set him right whether he likes it or not!"

"Yippee-kay-yay, hijo de puta!" Eduardo shouted before firing a cartridge's worth of bullets at the angry white man chasing him. As more secret service employees began joining the firefight, Eduardo's quick thinking kept Reginald on his toes until he passed by the sitting room, where he made a shocking discovery. "Oh no!"

"Dad, help us!" Riley cried as she, Huey, and Arleen were cornered by more of Reginald's men.

"Mi familia!" Eduardo yelled back as he tried to charge into the sitting room to save them, only for Reginald to wrap his arm around the president's neck while pointing a gun at his temple. "You monster."

"I'm just giving you a choice here, chief." Reginald purred evilly. "Either give up, or somebody's getting iced today. Either way, my TubeTube channel is going to make me a millionaire."

"So that's what this is for, just some dumb clickbait?" Eduardo hissed in disgust. "I can see it now in big capital letters across the Internet. 'PRESIDENT LEAVES FAMILY TO DIE' or 'MAN SAVES COUNTRY FROM PSYCHO PRESIDENT'. This isn't about us, it's about you and your online fame!"

"You could say that." Reginald concurred. "My offer still stands. Which one of you is going to die?"

"No one!" the secret service agent from earlier declared as he barged in and tried to free President Suarez while disarming Reginald. "In the name of the United States, I hereby place you under arrest!"

"Not on my watch, sheep!" Reginald screamed as he and the agent wrestled each other.

"Run Mr. President, we shall handle things from here!" the agent yelled as the SWAT team burst into the White House to combat the terrorist threat.

"Fine, I'll go." Eduardo wheezed in pain before struggling over to his captive family. "Be strong, you guys. I'll be back soon."

"We'll be brave for you, papi," Riley replied, trying to keep a brave face despite the overwhelming odds.

"When I woke up this morning, I didn't expect my day to turn out like this." Huey muttered disdainfully.

"You're stronger than they'll ever be, darling," Arleen assured Eduardo before the two shared a passionate kiss. When the husband and wife ended their kiss, Eduardo then charged at the window and broke it as he jumped out of the White House's second floor.

"Okay, that went worse than I planned," Eduardo muttered as he got up from the fall. "Ooh, I think I may have broken a few bones." Just then, a limo pulled up close to where he landed and his vice president Theresa Maxwell poked her head out the window. "Theresa?!"

"Get in!" Theresa yelled tersely while opening the door for her president. "I saw those guys on the news before they started storming the place, and I just knew they'd be coming after you! Now come on!"

Despite his injuries, Eduardo's willpower and drive to protect his family kept him going as he struggled towards the limo and got in. As soon as he closed the door, the limousine drove as far away from the White House as possible.

"Excellent," Reginald smirked as he looked out the broken window and watched as the president escaped. "That son of a gun can run, but he sure as hell can't hide." He then pulled out his phone to begin making a call. "Reginald to Black Rutile, come in Black Rutile. Operation: Olympus Down is almost complete. We seized the White House, but the president managed to get away."

"Doesn't matter to me." Black Rutile responded. "Just as long as he's too distracted to help the Gems when I take them by surprise. Black Rutile out!"

--

Back at Little Homeworld, Black Rutile had finished her call to Reginald before she looked over at the progress on the reconstructed Rejuvenation Blaster. "How's it looking, everybody?"

"Reconstruction has officially been completed, now to find a test subject," Demantoid replied. "Who do you suggest, my Rutile?"

"I might have a few Gems in mind." Black Rutile said just as Morganite entered her house. "Morganite, I trust that your reconnaissance mission provided some fruit."

"Indeed, madam," Morganite answered with a bow. "I have reason to believe that Lapis Lazuli's misfortunes can all be blamed on that one Bismuth that she claims to be friends with. No doubt a useful tool for our cause. Perhaps one we can use to bring one of the Crystal Gems to our side. Now that I've done your dirty work, it's time to hold up your end of the bargain."

"Ah yes, what I would give you in exchange for restoring your loyalty in me." Black Rutile remembered. "However, I'm going to need Demantoid, Pyrope, and Emerald here as well."

"We're right here, my Rutile," Emerald said as she and Pyrope entered from the darkness. "What do you request?"

"I have recently come to a realization." Black Rutile replied while contemplating her new Rejuvenation Blaster. "Some of these Gems under my thumb have gotten a little soft with the time they've spent here on Earth. And since I'm set to make my grand return, I simply cannot have such weak subordinates."

"What are you implying, Black Rutile?" Pyrope asked, fearing the answer she'll soon get.

"What I'm implying is that I have no room for such weakness in my forces." Black Rutile said as she made it very clear that she intended to use Emerald, Morganite, Demantoid, and Pyrope as the first victims of the Rejuvenation Blaster. "Hence why your services will no longer be needed. Or at least, your services as your current selves." With an evil grin on her face, Black Rutile fired at the four Gems and made them writhe in enough pain for them to poof. Everyone was left gobsmacked at her cruelty, especially Tanzanite, but to Black Rutile, this was just another day for her. "Will anyone else attempt to fill their shoes?"

"How could you do that to your own subjects?" Tanzanite said with quiet outrage. "I thought you were fighting for their freedom! This is not what a leader should do! And I should know, I served under Rose Quartz before learning how much of a liar she was!"

"Would you care to join them as well?" Black Rutile shut Tanzanite up with a mere point of her Rejuvenation Blaster. Even though she had finally started questioning her new leader, Tanzanite meekly shook her head before walking away, just as Black Rutile's four victims reformed with only one thing to say.

"All hail Black Rutile." Emerald, Demantoid, Pyrope, and Morganite droned in reverence of their leader, any trace of their former selves now seemingly erased. "All hail Black Rutile."

"Excellent, it's working!" Black Rutile cheered. "With this, I can brainwash as many Gems as I please, but I suppose one will be far easier than the rest. And I won't even need the Blaster!" Putting the Blaster down, Black Rutile called for another of her subjects. "Aquamarine!"

"Yes, my Rutile?" Aquamarine asked her beloved superior.

"Find me Lapis Lazuli at once and tell her everything she needs to know about her so-called friends." Black Rutile ordered Aquamarine. "It's time to break our weakest link."

"Tell her what?" Aquamarine wondered before Black Rutile whispered an incredibly juicy, long-buried secret into her ear. "Oh, that is just perfect! I'll tell her as soon as I find her!" With a spring in her step, Aquamarine soared out of the house and away from Little Homeworld in search of Lapis.

"Now then, anybody else has something to tell the class?" Black Rutile asked her subordinates around. "How about you, Holly Blue? How have you been practicing fusion with Cat's Eye?"

"Oh, it's wonderful, my Rutile." Holly Blue replied merrily. "She makes such a wonderful partner."

"By the end of the day, the two of us will be more unified than the Crystal Gems!" Cat's Eye agreed and the two laughed heartily.

"Those two, I swear." Andesine rolled her eyes at the duo. "So when shall we strike, my Rutile?"

"Yeah, I'm getting impatient here!" Amber cried. "I need to hit something fast!" To try and relieve her stress, Amber threw a punch at Cinnabar, who barely flinched at the attack.

"Can't say I missed you, Amber." Cinnabar coolly stated. "So, clarify this for me. Are we just going to wait until the secret's out for us to strike?"

"You read my mind, dear Cinnabar." Black Rutile smiled at her student. "I really missed you, you know."

--

At the exact same time, Lapis had just emerged from a startup party supplies shop with bags full of decorations for the anniversary party. "Wow, who would've guessed Peridot would want this much stuff? It's just only everybody in town and then some coming to the party." As Lapis prepared to take flight, she suddenly heard someone let out a familiar bratty cackle. "What do you want, Aquamarine?!"

"Nice little shop you found here," Aquamarine said as she perched atop the shop's sign. "Too bad it's on the planet where your life as you knew it ended, huh?"

"Uh, what are you on about this time?" Lapis asked with a roll of her eyes, practically itching to fly as far away from whatever bloviating Aquamarine was about to spout this time. "Look, I'm on a very tight schedule here, so if you have something to say, just make it quick."

"Very well then." Aquamarine huffed in frustration while puffing her cheeks. "Now, I have a question to ask you. Did you ever wonder who poofed you during the Rebellion, my friend?"

"No, I don't think I ever knew and I don't care," Lapis replied grumpily. "Now please, let me go."

"No no, I have something amazing to tell you!" Aquamarine yelled while pulling at Lapis's leg. "Did Bismuth ever tell you?"

"What did she tell me?" Lapis replied nervously before the smaller blue Gem dropped quite possibly the biggest bombshell she ever heard in her life.

"That she poofed you in the Rebellion." Aquamarine declared with a smirk, causing Lapis to drop her shopping bags in horror.

"Wait, you're kidding, are you?" Lapis asked as her reality began crashing down on her. "She wouldn't do that!"

"But she did!" Aquamarine replied with a cheeky, psychotic smile. "For you, the day Bismuth ruined your life because she saw you as a mere soldier was the most horrible day of your life. But for her, it was Tuesday."

"But, but why?!" Lapis shrieked in denial while dropping to her knees and clutching her head between her hands. "Bismuth was such a good friend of mine, but now you tell me she was keeping this from me for centuries?! How could she?!"

"She just didn't have the heart to admit it." Aquamarine shook her head sympathetically before placing a hand on Lapis's back. "Go on, be the bigger Gem. Tell them how you really feel."

When Lapis looked up at Aquamarine, it wasn't with tears of betrayal. She instead stared at the other Gem with fires of hatred and deceit. This was like when the Crystal Gems left her in the mirror for thousands of years without realizing a Gem was trapped inside it, only far worse. This time, they were trapping her in a cage of lies and secrecy. Without even a word to Aquamarine, Lapis flew back to the Crystal Gems, not even bothering to come back for the decorations because she was that angry.

"Excellent," Aquamarine smirked before, out of curiosity, she decided to take a peek at what Lapis bought from the store. "What is this?" she muttered while pulling out a chintzy napkin with 'TALE AS OLD AS TIME, SONG AS OLD AS RHYME' monogrammed on it. "A little on the nose, much?"

--

"What's taking Lapis so long with the decorations?" Bismuth murmured as she paced around the sand in front of the other Gems. "We plan on holding the party tomorrow, we can't start without the whole gang together!"

"Hey, I think I can see her now!" Peridot exclaimed while spotting Lapis in the distance flying towards the Crystal Temple. "Hey wait a second, why doesn't she have the decorations?"

"And she looks very upset too," Garnet added. "Something isn't right." As soon as Lapis touched down and marched towards the Crystal Gems with her fists balled up, Garnet immediately tried to ease the tension. "Hello, Lapis! It's a lovely day we're having today, storm notwithstanding!"

"Shut up, don't do that. Just don't." Lapis growled furiously, sending shivers down the Crystal Gems' spines before she snapped. "How could you have kept this from me?"

"Kept what from you?" Pearl asked, only for Lapis to immediately shut her up with a slap across the face.

"You know exactly what I mean!" Lapis shrieked angrily. "You all knew that Bismuth was the one who poofed me all those years ago when I first traveled to Earth, that was how I was left to be put in the mirror that Pearl found on the Galaxy Warp, stuck in her gem, and just left me to collect dust for thousands of years! But did anybody try addressing my trauma?! No, I was just left to play dumb games! After all, happily ever after here we are, gotta stay positive!"

"Lapis, calm down please," Bismuth said while trying her hardest not to yell back at her as the other Little Homeworld Gems gathered around to watch the conflict. "I was barely thinking when I punched you in the back, I didn't notice that you weren't just another soldier!"

"Hey guys, I just got back with the cake!" Greg cheered as he walked in on the Gems with a big wedding cake in his hands before he quickly realized what was going on. "Uh, what did I miss?"

"Lapis, we had no idea the mirror contained a sentient Gem!" Garnet exclaimed. "Just calm down and we can sort this out!

"How can I calm down when this is all your fault?!" Lapis roared, now at her absolute breaking point. "Anyone else care to take their side?"

"Lapis, I know it's hard, I know you're stressed, but you have to take a chill pill!" Peridot tried calming her best friend down. "Garnet, Bismuth, and Pearl didn't do anything wrong here!"

"I thought you were on my side, I thought you loved me!" Lapis yelled at Peridot as the storm finally came and rain began pouring down on the party.

"I do love you Lapis, I just want everyone to get along!" Peridot said before looking at Garnet, Pearl, and Bismuth. "But seriously, I thought we were all friends! How could you have kept this from her for this long?"

"Yeah guys, I thought you were better than this!" Amethyst added, now suddenly taking Lapis's side. "What? I thought the sides were a little uneven."

"Lapis, if you don't calm down and listen, I'll have to do it myself." Garnet threatened Lapis by summoning her gauntlet.

"Go ahead, make my day." Lapis retorted by summoning the rainwater from above and firing raindrops like bullets at Garnet.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" all the other Gems began chanting at the brawling Crystal Gems before getting into a massive brawl themselves. Friends and lovers all quickly turned on each other as they began taking sides. Half of them sided with Lapis, Peridot & Amethyst, while the other half sided with Bismuth, Garnet & Pearl. What was thought to start as a lovely day for a wedding anniversary soon turned into a nightmare.

"Guys, the cake!" Greg yelled, trying to hide how he was unable to process everything happening by paying more attention to the cake quickly getting spoiled by the rain. But he wouldn't have to worry any longer as Teal Zircon was tossed straight into him, completely destroying the cake in the process. "Well, that was $616 wasted."

--

Elsewhere, the vice president's limousine finally arrived at One Observatory Drive, where a secret service agent opened the car door and allowed Eduardo & Theresa to leave.

"Oh gracias Theresa, you have no idea how glad I am you came in at the nick of time!" Eduardo said gratefully to his vice president. "It all happened so fast! I was just getting back from dealing with Arasaka, then those protestors showed up and took my family hostage, and apparently, they're working with Black Rutile too! We have to go back, Maxwell, we have to save Arleen and the kids!"

"Oh trust me, Eddy, I got all the help you need right here." Theresa confidently stated as she pushed open the doors to reveal Major General Wade Grant standing in the main hall in anticipation of the president's arrival. "Wade, I got him safe!"

"Wonderful, Terri, just the man I need to see!" Wade cheered as he took Eduardo by the hand and dragged him away. "I sent the SWAT team as soon as I heard what was going on, and I got worried for your safety. Luckily, help has arrived."

Wade then took Eduardo into the kitchen, where a group consisting of many secret service agents, some members of his cabinet, and General Lloyd Waller were all waiting for him. "Welcome to la resistance, Prez." Theresa declared. "Hope you survive the experience."

"President Suarez, it's so good to see you!" Lloyd cheerfully greeted Eduardo while rolling his wheelchair up to the president and shaking his hand. "Been quite a while, hasn't it? After I nearly got stabbed to death saving you from Black Rutile, I had to take a sabbatical during my recovery process and went off to Florida Island."

"It truly is a delight to see everybody here." Eduardo sighed happily before putting on a serious face. "But we can save happy greetings for later. We need to think of a plan to save my family and take back the White House! Any ideas?"

"Perhaps first, we can listen to this message from Black Rutile and an unknown second party." A secret service agent said while presenting a computer with Black Rutile and Sally Grove's smug faces on the screen.

"Black Rutile!" Eduardo said furiously while snatching the computer out of the agent's hands so he can talk with the self-proclaimed revolutionary one on one. "What business do you have taking my family hostage?!"

"I call it revenge." Black Rutile stated. "You were the one to instigate saving Steven the last time we met even though I convinced you he was a threat, so you are but one of many people I am striking back at for my misfortunes. In addition, my special friend Sally Grove here was the one to contact Reginald and help him organize his plan."

"Greetings Mr. President, you may call me Sally Grove." Sally introduced herself to the president. "Influencer, online critic, proud servant, and kindred spirit of Black Rutile. I never liked the Crystal Gems to begin with, or heck, anybody in general, but using them to prop yourself up just makes me sick. You're just like all the other men I've ever met."

"You take that back, young lady!" Wade yelled at Sally. "I don't know what your problem is, but if we weren't already on the verge of a national crisis, I'd use my military power to teach you a lesson!"

"You're only proving my point!" Sally complained. "You know, this can all be avoided if you agree to our demands."

"What are you suggesting?" Lloyd asked the two on the computer.

"Either surrender your presidency and allow me free reign to conquer the world or else your family will die!" Black Rutile threatened. "And to show that we mean business." Suddenly, one of Reginald's men took an agent by surprise by breaking his arms through the kitchen window and dragging him outside before giving him the mother of all vicious beatdowns.

The agent wasn't even given a chance to fight back because of how unprepared he was for an occasion. But then came the worst part. The agent tried to crawl back inside by opening the door, but the terrorist slammed his boot on the agent's back before slamming his head into the door well. And he did it again. And again. And again. And again. This brutal moment seemed to go on for hours until the agent was left possibly on the brink of death.

"That is how I mean business." Black Rutile concluded as the agent was helped to his feet by Tulip Dennis & Victor Molano before being dragged away to somewhere safe. "Either end your term early or horrible things will happen to you and everyone you ever loved. And don't even try to call the Crystal Gems for help, they're too busy with their own interpersonal conflicts to pay attention. Until then, that's all folks." The feed finally ended, leaving everybody in the vice president's kitchen dead silent as they began thinking about what to do next.

"So, what happens now?" Theresa asked awkwardly while trying to process the horrible sight they just witnessed earlier. While everybody started panicking, Eduardo was left catatonic with fear as he continued standing there fearing for his family, his country, and his alien friends.

--

"This is delicious!" Black Rutile laughed evilly as she and the other Rutile Rebels watched the civil war between Gems below them from the lighthouse. Though the way they say it, it was more of a childish feud that quickly went out of control.

"I guess abducting the Crystal Gems and holding them hostage won't be necessary, huh, boss?" Pyrite asked while arming her Rejuvenation Blaster. "They're already occupying themselves as is."

"Oh, don't be hasty, Pyrite!" Black Rutile replied as she aimed her sights on a random Gem. "Not until I'm sure it works perfectly!" With a target in view, Black Rutile pulled the trigger and launched a beam of light at a random Amethyst, making her writhe in agony before making her poof. "YES! YES!" She then turned to her subordinates. "Now Rutile Rebels, we shall strike!"

"Finally!" Holly Blue and Cat's Eye cheered before they joined hands and kissed, their forms merging into a tall, curvy, green Gem with bob-cut hair, a tight catsuit, high-heeled boots, a domino mask, and a pair of whips holstered around her waist. The fusion's name was Chrome Chalcedony.

The Rutile Rebels and their human allies then leaped into action, joining the struggle between Gems and pointing their Rejuvenation Blasters around before firing at random Gems. Left and right, various quarreling residents of Little Homeworld were shot down and reduced to their gems, much to the shock and horror of everyone else.

"Everybody, take cover!" White Topaz yelled while rounding up some Gems and racing them to safety.

"That's right, you pacifistic whelps, keep running!" Chrome Chalcedony laughed evilly as she and Bluebird Azurite kept firing at more Gems in their way.

"We might win this one," Teal Zircon declared intensely to Topaz. "you get to the panic room!"

"We don't have a panic room!" Topaz shouted back as Black Rutile cornered her and Teal.

"Aw, Teal and Topaz, I see you're already here." Black Rutile smiled as she presented the two with spare Rejuvenation Blasters. "Would you care to join this grand occasion?"

"I see what this is," Topaz said firmly. "This is all that your big plans were leading up to. Well frankly, I don't think we have a place among your ranks anymore."

"Ditto." Teal agreed before she narrowly dodged a blast from the Rejuvenator Blaster and began running for the hills. "Run Topaz, run like the wind!"

"I got you two!" Jasper exclaimed as she grabbed Teal and Topaz and dragged them to the beach house.

"Aw, you really do like me!" Teal replied cheerfully.

"Oh, be quiet," Jasper growled at the Zircon before she turned back and watched Lapis, Peridot, and Amethyst continue their fight with Bismuth, Garnet, and Pearl.

"I'm going to enjoy making you pay for what you've done to me!" Lapis snarled as she hoisted Bismuth by the neck with a wing forming into an arm and began strangling the blacksmith. "I am Lapis Lazuli, and I will not be anyone's prisoner anymore!"

"Please, I'm sorry, have mercy on me!" Bismuth choked and gasped mid-strangulation. "If you would just listen!" Suddenly, however, Bismuth was ripped out of Lapis's grasp by a massive red hand belonging to Mega Ruby. "What the?!"

"Surprise!" Mega Ruby laughed as she was briefly unfused to absorb Bismuth into her body, making the blacksmith's head stick out of the fusion's shoulder as a result. "Hey Black Rutile, we got one!"

"Perfect." Black Rutile smirked before looking to the rest of her troops. "Now, everyone round the others up!" Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Peridot were then brought forward in chains by Kyanite and Xenotime. "Looks like you were too angry at each other to see this coming, huh?"

"Of course, you'd take advantage of this!" Garnet snapped at the Rutile.

"Let's be frank, you were going to break apart anyhow." Kyanite laughed while slamming Garnet's face into the sand. "Hey CC, how's searching for the others going?"

"Unfortunately, they're a bit too good at hiding." Chrome Chalcedony declared as she emerged from the beach house with a particular book in hand. "However, I did find this on one of the shelves. 'When Your Child Wants Some Time Apart' by George Ikari, eh?"

"I got that book for Steven!" Pearl yelled at the fusion of Cat's Eye and Holly Blue. "Whatever you do, don't do anything to it!" As if Chrome wasn't listening, or maybe she deliberately didn't pay attention, she ripped the book in half with a grin.

"Looks like you all could use a little alone time," Chrome said with a snap of her fingers, allowing for all the Gems hit with the Rejuvenation Blasters to reform as mindless servants of Black Rutile. The Crystal Gems gasped in horror as various Amethysts, Jaspers, Pearls, Topazes, fusions, Rubies & Sapphires, Peridots, Lapises, Aquamarines, Bismuths, Agates, Demantoids, Pyropes, and various other Gems that previously wanted to live a free life on Earth had only one thing to say.

"All hail Black Rutile." The amnesiac Gems droned as they raised their arms and marched toward their former teachers. "All hail Black Rutile. All hail Black Rutile. All hail Black Rutile." Watching the onslaught from afar, Lapis shook her head with no amount of sympathy before changing her attire into a new dress bereft of any imagery connecting her to the Crystal Gems with a hooded cloak to hide her face as she flew away, abandoning the life she once knew as she left for parts unknown.

"Just so we're clear, this is still all your fault." Peridot angrily said to Bismuth.

"My fault!?" Bismuth argued with the tiny technician. "You were the one who interrogated her!"

"I only came along with Jasper to check up on the Cluster!" Peridot bickered. "If anything, she and Garnet are to blame since Garnet was so strong, it convinced Jasper to fuse with Lapis and they tortured each other as Malachite for months on end!"

"That is an unbelievably lazy excuse." Garnet coolly said despite how furious she was at the accusation. "Like I said, Pearl and I didn't know the Gem in the mirror was Lapis."

"And that made you try to take Lapis away from her only friend at the time?!" Amethyst bickered with Garnet and Pearl. "Face it, if you were honest with Lapis the whole time, this wouldn't have happened at all!"

"Will all of you be quiet already?" Xenotime asked.

"It's adorable how you keep blaming each other for your own follies instead of pointing fingers at the sociopathic monster in your midst who is getting away with everything as we speak." Black Rutile proclaimed before she looked over her shoulder to notice that Lapis had disappeared. "Chrome Chalcedony, be a dear and bring the Crystal Gems back to Little Homeworld while I follow Lapis."

"It shall be my pleasure." Chrome Chalcedony beamed as she lead the new and improved Rutile Rebels away from the ruined party while the rain finally stopped, and Black Rutile pulled out a hoverboard from her gem to follow Lapis.

Having been completely ignored this whole time, Greg was left shell-shocked at what he had just witnessed. All was quiet in the area that was supposed to host a fun anniversary party, but the storm combined with the fight had ruined everything. Then suddenly, a large orange hand patted him on the shoulder. "You, Steven's dad, wake up!"

"Jasper?!" Greg yelped at Jasper standing behind him. "Where have you and White Topaz been this whole time?"

"Saving Gems, what else." White Topaz replied before turning to the beach house. "I think they're gone, guys, it's safe to come out now!" Soon, the Lapis twins, the Black Pearl Brigade, the Diamonds' Pearls, Nephrite, Desert Glass, Albite, Beryl, Tiger's Eye, Serpentine, Larimar, Snowflake Obsidian, Monazite, Diaspore, Dumortierite, Skinny Jasper, Carnelian, Orange Spodumene, Cherry Quartz, Blue Chalcedony, Chrysocolla, Bixbite, Biggs Jasper, Grossular Diopside, the Cubic Zirconias, both the Watermelon Tourmalines, the Rose Quartz trio, Flint, Chert, Kunzite, and a Gem Greg assumed he never saw before all emerged from the beach house, all afraid of what could happen next. "We could only save these guys. The rest are all gone, all slaves to Black Rutile now."

"But they're not gone completely," Cap said as she stepped forward. "When my team and I were hit by those Rejuvenation Blasters, the effects seemed permanent. Then Nacre here, previously known as Shell, helped restore our memories. If that's the case, there's a good chance that will be the case with everyone the Rutile Rebels has shot."

"So what happens now?" Greg said nervously before looking at the big, bird-like Gem. "And who are you supposed to be? I don't think I ever saw you before."

"My name's Lavenderine, pleased to meet you." Lavenderine introduced herself by shaking Greg's hand. "Sorry that I'm seeing you for the first time in such bad circumstances, but-Ooh, is that cake still fresh?!" She raced over to the ruined cake and began pecking it with a huge, beaklike nose. "Hm, still some flavor left."

"Regardless, Black Rutile thinks she may have won, but we're all still here, together." Diaspore proclaimed.

"I don't understand. I don't understand how this all happened." Teal Zircon stated as she began making a speech. "How we go through this. I mean, I knew the Crystal Gems, and then they're just, they're just taken down by some crazy Rutile I thought was running a book club, and I don't understand why she can't just get over her horrible losses and live a quiet life." Everyone was taken aback by how profound she was sounding right now. "It's stupid. It's human and stupid, and, and Lapis was crying and not talking, and earlier I was having fruit punch and I thought, well, I got fruit punch all over me, surely that'll be just one part of a day we'll look back on and laugh. And she'll never see Peridot, or Bismuth, or the others, not ever, and no one will explain to me why!"

"It's tough losing someone to be sure." Dumortierite proclaimed sorrowfully. "But we are the Crystal Gems, and we'll always save the day! If she thinks we can't, we'll always find a way!"

"But that leaves the question." Laz declared. "What now?"

"I hope Lapis is doing okay." Zuli agreed as everybody gazed over the horizon with no clue as to what happens next.

--

Far away from Beach City, Black Rutile surfed the ocean on her hoverboard in search of Lapis, hoping that she'd be able to answer the terraformer's prayers for help and maybe add another Crystal Gem to her roster. "Now, if I were an insipid terraformer, where would I be?" Suddenly, she heard a loud rumbling sound and looked over in the distance, where she discovered a familiar building rising from the water.

"The Lunar Sea Spire?!" Black Rutile exclaimed before guiding her hoverboard to the fallen temple. Even though it was in ruins and a few Crystal Shrimp littered the spire, it was still relatively intact. "Oy, someone should pick up after themselves." The Rutile terrorist mused as she reached the very top of the tower, where Lapis was on her knees gazing at the sky. "Hello, Lapis."

"What do you want?" Lapis harshly asked Black Rutile. "Let me guess, are you here to mistreat me like the Crystal Gems did?"

"No, I came here because I have now realized the two of us are more alike than I initially believed." Black Rutile said as she walked towards Lapis and sat down beside her. "Think of it, the two of us were created to serve the Diamonds and were very good at it. But after coming to Earth, our lives just started falling apart and we haven't been able to get back to normal since."

"What, you want me to join you or something?" Lapis continued.

"What do you think, my dear Lazuli?" Black Rutile grinned before standing up and offering her hand. "Would you care to help me prevent any other Gem from suffering like we did?" Lapis then closed her eyes before turning her head and sticking her hand out to Black Rutile. As soon as Black Rutile helped Lapis up and walked her away from where she sat, Lapis was a Crystal Gem no more. Now, she was a Rutile Rebel.

--

With the Crystal Gems finally eliminated from the equation, Black Rutile now had full control over Little Homeworld. To make it better, she now had another former member joining her after realizing she and Black Rutile were very much alike.

"So what are we going to do with this, my Rutile?" Lapis said as she, Black Rutile, and Dr. Brenner stood together atop the whirly-bird tower, gazing out at Beach City and the surrounding area. "I mean, this whole place officially belongs to us now."

"Something that I've wanted to do for a long time now, and I need your help to do it." Black Rutile replied. "I want you to raise this insipid town to the sky! Use all the moisture into the ground to turn Little Homeworld into my flying fortress!"

"As you wish, my Rutile," Lapis said without a shred of emotion as she raised her hands to the air, making the water droplets in the ground rise up and burrow into the ground to make the town fly. What was once a happy little village for Gems to unlearn the old ways of the Diamonds quickly became an airborne dreadnought that Black Rutile could finally call home, and the Crystal Gems were powerless to stop her.

"Now then, let's begin the invasion!" Black Rutile commanded her new brainwashed troopers. "I want you to not stop until Beach City is annihilated!"

"Hold on one second, Black Rutile!" James finally spoke out against Black Rutile. "I have tolerated your antics for so long because I believed that maybe you'd listen to me and change yourself for the better. But alas, your plans have finally convinced me otherwise. Brainwashing all these innocent Gems was bad enough, but now you convinced an emotionally vulnerable Gem to join you?"

"What can I say, preying on the emotionally vulnerable was how I gathered my subjects." Black Rutile shrugged. "And I don't think I appreciate your tone, doctor. I'm afraid I'll have to cancel all future appointments from here on out." She turned to Lapis. "Lapis, show the doctor where he stands now."

With any sense of emotion drained from her, Lapis grabbed James by his shirt collar and tossed him off of Little Homeworld to his possible death, only to be saved at the last minute by an orange blur grabbing him in the nick of time.

"Who can stop me now?!" Black Rutile laughed her loudest and most monstrous evil laugh yet as the entire Rutile Rebels gathered behind her in triumph. "WHO?!"

Faraway from the flying Little Homeworld, a certain human girlfriend of Steven had just returned home from college for spring break.

--

And so, the curtain draws as we end part one on possibly the darkest note I've written for any of my stories yet. The Crystal Gems have been turned against one another, Lapis has joined Black Rutile, the president of the United States is at war with a terrorist who I admit to taking a few cues from Monsoon from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance while resisting the urge to make him say "Memes: the DNA of the soul", and Black Rutile has officially taken over Little Homeworld. In their darkest hour, will the remaining Gems led by Jasper, White Topaz, Teal Zircon, and Topaz find the strength to stand up for what is right and save the world? We'll just have to wait and see.