#Lady Anarchy

[sakurasubmissive]

My owner is the absolute best, even 100 miles away and she can still break my brain and have me begging on all fours with nothing more than words. I'm super lucky to be cared for by her

[hardcore-direwolf]

As we know BBRae has a popular ship due to DC fans of Teen Titans, but I want another name to not replace it...to give it a YJ vibe like Wonderland, Halfblood, Padlock, Pocketwatch, Supermartian, Spitfire, and Hotwheels. If Darkfang or Wildbird comes in second, or in a tie...sudden death. Comment down below, reblog, follow me, and smash that heart button on each post... sayonara guys and Happy Halloween!

I don't owe the following images or art, credit goes to the creators and artists! Follow them and give them your support!

#Wildbird, #Darkfang, or #BBRae?

[fandomficsnstuff]

Old Lady - 1

A/N: Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Bodhi Day, Shogatso and any other holiday I may have missed! I know not all of these are celebrated on the 24th-25th but I wanted to include them anyway. I hope it's alright, I wanted to be inclusive but if it's somehow offensive or incorrect or wrong, I'm sorry and I hope all of you have had a wonderful holiday up to now and all the way through to the end. I love all of you, happy Holidays!<3

(Warnings: mentions of smut, blood, descriptions of getting shot, angst, Nosocomephobia, Latrophobia, it’s a fun one y’all lol sorry)

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You sighed heavily with a smile as you got out of your car, closing the door and approaching the men sitting by a table, drinking and smoking and chatting, your eyes instantly finding his salt and pepper hair, a warm feeling forming in your stomach, like warm butterflies that spread throughout your entire body. You grinned as you saw how he noticed you, slowly getting up, taking off his sunglasses and practically throwing them on the ground as he moved towards you. You couldn’t hold in the tears as you ran to him, jumping up and hugging him tightly as he caught you, taking a deep breath, taking him in, the feel of him, the scent he always carried around of whiskey, motor oil and leather. You sighed heavily again and hugged him tighter before parting from him, Chibs still holding you up by your ass. “God, I missed you” you said with a light chuckle, Chibs grinning and kissing you briefly before resting his forehead against yours, eyes closed “I missed yer too love, missed ya so fuckin’ much” he whispered and you giggled, kissing him as he let you down, your feet hitting the ground but his hands stayed on your ass as he continued to kiss you “how was Denmark, eh? Went back a second time” he murmured against your lips and you nodded with a grin “wet, cold, amazing… I missed it… spent so much time over there, I had to get back” you admitted, Chibs nodding with a smirk “aye, I know, still glad to have ye back, love” he whispered, leaning down and kissing you again, his hand grabbing your ass even harder, pulling you against him. “Get a room!” Juice yelled jokingly. “No!” Tig shouted back and you couldn’t help but laugh at them “didn’t miss them as much, though” you admitted, Chibs’ arm around your shoulders, your fingers entwined as you walked towards the boys. Jax got up and hugged you as you let go of Chibs to hug him back, Tig instantly being the next to stand up, arms open and you gently shook your head “no, not this time” you laughed, Tig’s smile falling and he frowned at you “why does Jax get one and I don’t?” he pouted and you couldn’t help but laugh more “because you always get a boner” you pointed out, Chibs smirking at Tigs “aye, ya do. Can’t say I blame ya tho’” Chibs said and gently put a hand on your lower back, you turned to face him, smiling up at him lovingly “which reminds me, excuse us gentlemen” he said and in one swift motion picked you up over his shoulder, smacking your ass as you yelped and he carried you inside the club house.

“Chibs! Put me down” you laughed and tried to hit his back but he just slapped your ass in return “not yet love” he said and you couldn’t help but laugh more as the boys, except for Tig, cheered him on. “I’m going to have my head smacked against something” you said as you tried to stop laughing, feeling Chibs shrug as he walked down the hallway “don’ worry, I’ll give ya bruise a kiss if tha’s the case” he said jokingly and you scoffed, deciding to accept your fate as he opened the door, carried you inside, kicked the door shut and then placed you down on his bed, immediately kissing you as if you were his last life line, his last hope for salvation.

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You frowned as you listened to what the guys were talking about. Chibs’ hand was on your waist as you sat on his lap, pretending to be on your phone when in reality you were listening in on what they were saying. “I don’t like it” you suddenly said, not even looking up from your phone as you continued to pretend to be occupied, though your attention was still mostly on the boys. Chibs frowned at you, his grip on your hips tightening briefly to get your attention on him “what? Why?” he asked and you shrugged, putting your phone away and giving the group your full attention “something’s up with you and Clay, Jax… and I don’t like it… something’s wrong, like-... like a rift between you two?” you asked with a deeper frown, Chibs mulling over your words as Jax shrugged “don’t worry darlin’, just some father-son shit, ain’t nothing to worry about” he said and you rolled your eyes “sure, and I’m the Queen of England” you said sarcastically, Jax scoffing at you with a smirk while Chibs chuckled, his hand giving your hip a quick gentle slap “tha’ would make me a king, wouldn’t it?” he asked with a smirk and you scoffed “only if you marry me, darling, until then, you’re just my concubine… my side-piece” you said with a smirk, leaning down and kissing him before getting up and walking towards Gemma, the guys laughing with Chibs while some of them wolf whistled, much to Chibs’ slight annoyance.

“Hey Gem, you need any help?” you asked, pointing to the boxes she was struggling with, not even waiting for a reply before you picked up two boxes on top of each other “where to?” you asked and Gemma smirked at you “back room, we got Bobby’s welcome home party tonight, stocking up” she explained as she led the way, you hot on her heels. “Are crow eaters gonna be there?” you asked with a bitter taste in your mouth, nose scrunching up in a grimace as you put the boxes down, Gemma chuckling lightly “yeah, but I doubt you’ll have any trouble, if you do, just do what I taught you” she said and put a hand on her hip as she leaned against a wall, watching you organize the boxes and taking stock of what alcohol you had and didn’t have “go for the face, elbow in the tits” you said and Gemma chuckled again “that’s my girl” she praised, walking out of the storage room with you. You smiled at Chibs and walked over again, leaning down and kissing him, one of his hands gently cupping your cheek as you parted “I’m going to go get some booze for the party, we’ve run out of whiskey” you said and Chibs smirked “what have I done to deserve ya lass?” he asked lovingly and you chuckled “want alphabetically or chronologically ordered lists?” you asked jokingly and Chibs leaned up and kissed you again, completely forgetting that the guys were watching, though Tigs was watching with more interest than he should have, but luckily he looked away just when Chibs parted from you, so he wouldn’t see him staring. Chibs lightly smacked your ass “alright, on yer way” he said and you scoffed “careful, I might buy irish” you said and Chibs looked annoyed “no irish!” he shouted after you as you went to your car, a big grin on your lips. “Hate the way it fuckin’ tastes” Chibs muttered, eyes still on you as you got in your car and drove away, Jax smirking at him as well as Clay, making Chibs frown confused “wha’?” he asked and Jax exchanged a look with Clay and laughed “you better marry her soon, or I will” he joked and Chibs scoffed “ye got Tara” he pointed out and Jax laughed, Juice and Chibs joined in but Tigs just looked slightly sour.

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You sighed as you carried the box of Scotch Whiskey to your car, putting it on the floor of the car in the back seat and making sure the box wouldn’t fall or slide too much from side to side while you drove. “Help! Someone please help!” a woman screamed, catching your attention, you frowned at her and quickly hurried over after locking your car “what’s the problem?” you asked, she looked frantic, horrified even. “T-There’s this g-guy and h-he’s bleeding and my phone is dead and I don’t think he’s breathing!” she said as she moved into an alley, you right behind her as you handed her your phone, running the way she was pointing “call an ambulance!” you called and ran into the alley she had pointed towards, only to be found with nothing. Some big trash cans but otherwise nothing, no one was here. “Fuck” you mumbled, turning around only to come face to face with a white man, a peace tattoo almost right on his throat and suddenly you felt a sharp pain in your gut. You didn’t even hear the shot until after, or maybe you just didn’t register it until you looked down at your bleeding stomach. Your eyes widened and you stumbled ever so slightly back, looking at the guy as he just walked away, leaving you to die. You felt your eyes water, your chest felt as though you could barely breathe, you didn’t even whimper, it was like you had been kicked in the chest, all air knocked out of you as you supported yourself against a wall, leaning against it as you walked out of the alley. You let out a small cry as you fell once the wall ended, the hard ground scraping your skin as you let out a small whimper when you tried to crawl further onto the walkway. You didn’t have the energy to call out, to cry for help, all you could do was clutch your gut and cry silently.

You closed your eyes tightly as you tried to deal with the pain, not seeing a person running towards you, you only noticed them when they tilted you onto your back and pressed down on your stomach, causing you to cry out at the pain it caused. You opened your eyes to find Hale, looking down at you as he was saying something but you were too caught up in the pain, tears rolling down your cheeks as he lifted you up so your head was on his shoulder, his hand still pressing down on your stomach. “It’s alright, you’re alright” he whispered, holding you close to him as you cried “help is on the way, I promise, just stay with me” he whispered, feeling how cold your skin was, his frown deepening as he looked around him frantically, sirens blaring in the distance “t-tattoo…” you whimpered, Hale frowning down at you “what?” he asked and you cried as you felt another wave of burning pain rush through you “he had a t-tattoo” you whimpered and lifted a bloody hand where you had seen the tattoo “a p-peace-” you were cut off as you felt Hale shift as the paramedics arrived, Hale being forced to move out of the way as they took over, but he stayed by your side. “Peace? A tattoo with ‘Peace’ on it?” he asked desperately and you whimpered as you shook your head when they lifted you up on the stretcher “n-no, s-symbol” you managed, Hale nodding as they put you in the ambulance, getting up in it without another word, holding your bloody hand as the ambulance drove off.

“You’re okay, you’re okay” he whispered and you couldn’t help but chuckle through the tears and pain, the pain fading into a cold sensation, a numb feeling that you barely registered “y-you’re a t-terrib-ble liar” you said through tears, Hale scoffing as he forced a smile for your sake “only when it’s with you” he said and you smiled weakly “I-I k-k-know” you stuttered, wincing in pain as the ambulance made it over a bump, shaking you body. Everything felt like glass, as though you were so close to breaking apart into a million pieces. You opened your eyes again and looked at Hale “C-Chibs… h-he d-d-doesn’t know, they’re g-getting re-ready for Bobby’s-.... Bobby’s party” you stuttered out and Hale sighed “I’ll call him, get him from the club myself, but only once you’re okay” he said and you nodded, eyes closing without your permission “I l-love him, H-Hale… I wish…. wish we could’ve been married… I’ve always wanted to wear one of those big dresses… all white… all pretty for him” you slurred with a blissful smile at the image you saw before you, you in a white dress, walking towards Chibs with a bouquet of flowers in your hands, an adoring look in his eyes, nerves fluttering in your stomach with excitement, the image was enough to dull out the pain, your head tilting slightly to one side, the monitor you were hooked up to gave a flat line as Hale watched in horror, holding your cold hand as you were no longer gripping it, the paramedic beginning CPR while Hale just sat there, eyes wide with horror, tears slowly forming in his eyes as he watched your pale, lifeless body as it moved whenever the paramedic pushed harshly on your chest. Hale flinched as the heart monitor began to beep again, but you didn’t wake up, it was as though you were already dead.

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Hale got out of his car and slowly approached the group that was outside. Jax, Clay, Tigs, Juice, Chibs and Gemma, all talking until they saw a blood covered Hale walk over, eyes on the ground as if he didn’t dare look at them “jesus, Hale, the fuck happened to you?” Jax asked but his joking demeanor faded as Hale just looked directly at Chibs “(Y/N)... she was shot, I was in the ambulance with her a-and she flatlined and-” he could barely finish his sentence, Chibs pushing past him, getting on his bike and driving off at full speed, most definitely over the speed-limit, leaving them all there as Hale just stood there, Gemma approaching him, taking in his shocked state “is she alive? Is my baby girl alive?” she asked quickly with worry and he nodded “the paramedics brought her back… she’s in surgery, but I promised her I’d get Chibs as soon as I could...” he said and Gemma nodded, looking over her shoulder at the rest of the group, all of them horrified at the prospect of losing you.

The rest of the club met Chibs at the hospital, his leg bouncing as he sat in a chair, staring at the ground, occasionally getting up whenever a doctor walked by, only to sit back down, just as disappointed as the last time a doctor walked by. Jax approached and sat down next to him, sighing heavily “Hale told me what happened… she’s gonna make it, she’s strong. She pulled herself out of an alley with a gut wound and then managed to tell who did it, no way in hell she’s dying on us” he said and Chibs looked at him with tears in his eyes, Jax pulling him into a tight hug. Clay sat on the other side of Chibs and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, patting it in a comforting manner.

The entire group spent the next ten hours waiting, stiff as a board whenever a doctor walked by, only to go back to the agonizing waiting time. Finally, a doctor walked up to them, blood covering their scrubs and Chibs instantly stood up, approaching him with a frown on his face “(Y/N) (Y/L/N)?” he asked and Chibs nodded, the doctor sighing “stopping the bleeding and making sure she didn’t bleed out was by far the toughest thing about this surgery, she was in pretty bad shape but she pulled through, we’ve induced her in a medical coma so she can heal properly, it was a difficult wound to operate on. She will be in the coma for a few days, maybe a week, if everything goes according to the plan, you can be there when we take her out of the medically induced coma, though only the closest family” he informed and without thinking Chibs just spoke “Can I see ‘er now?” he asked desperately and the doctor sighed “yes, but she’s still out. I’ll lead you to her room” he said and turned, hearing multiple footsteps, turning once again to see the entire group following him, stopping abruptly as he stopped, waiting impatiently for him to continue walking once more to lead them to your room. The doctor hesitated but seeing the patches they were carrying, the name, he let them follow him to your room even though it broke procedure. He let them inside and took in the group, these dangerous bikers, all watching your unconscious form with immense worry, it made a small smile form on his lips. “You’ll have to be gone by visiting hours” he informed and left the room. Chibs instantly held your hand, noticing some dried blood on your throat, a circle with three sloppy lines inside of it. Chibs got up and leaned closer, still holding your hand with one while pointing at the symbol with the other “the fuck is this?” he asked quietly, Jax walking over and leaning closer, narrowing his eyes before looking up at Chibs with a small smirk. “Hale said she identified her attacker via a tattoo… she must have drawn this while she was still conscious, this has to be where the tattoo she saw was… told you she was strong” Jax informed, Gemma walking closer to see the bloodied spot, her entire body nearly shaking with anger at the sight of you unconscious, wounded and barely hanging on by a thread. “Baby? Ge-” Gemma left the room before Clay could finish, hurrying down the hallway as quickly as her heels allowed her, heading for the pediatric section when she finally found her. “Gemma? What’s happened? Are you-”

“Someone shot (Y/N)... someone shot my girl, Tara, and I don’t trust these pussy doctors not to fuck things up, you know how she feels about hospitals, all they’ll do if she panics is dope her up on whatever the hell they’ve got and you and I both know what that’ll do to her, these doctors don’t know who they’re dealing with, it’ll be shit for her” Gemma hissed in anger, Tara frowning at her before realizing the gravity of the situation. “Oh my god… oh my god! Is she alright?”

“She pulled through surgery… she saw his tattoo and drew it on herself with her own fucking blood to identify him, Tara” Gemma whispered in a harsh tone, Tara thinking things over before nodding to herself, walking into the empty chapel with Gemma and sitting down. “Oh my god… Did Hale get a description?”

“Yeah… you gotta look after her, these damn doctors don’t know shit, she hates hospitals, Tara… she’ll freak out when she wakes up and they’ll try to drug her and it’ll only freak her out even more” Gemma muttered in anger, Tara nodding softly “it’s okay, I’ll check in on her as much as possible, I promise…” Tara whispered, Gemma nodding after a second or two of silence before turning around to walk back into the hospital room where you were laying.

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The steady sounds of the heart monitor beeping was like a headache that wouldn’t go away, it’d disappear for a second only to come back. “Turn it off” you slurred, wincing a little as you tried to move, your eyes opening to look up at Chibs who smiled down at you with tired eyes. “Hey there, love” he whispered, leaning down and kissing your forehead, lingering there before pressing his forehead against yours, eyes closed as his breath wavered when he took in a breath of air. “Where am I?” you slurred, looking around with a frown as Chibs sat back down at your side, holding one of your hands “yer in the hospital, love, ya got shot…” Chibs murmured, a frown on your brow as you began to remember things before passing out. “Blonde, good ass…” you slurred, Chibs frowning at you with confusion. “The woman… blonde bob-cut hair, practically the perfect image of a daddy’s girl, good ass from what I saw… she was-... screaming for help, saying some guy was bleeding in an alley and that her phone was-... fucking shit I gave her my phone” you cursed in a slurred voice as you remembered, Chibs unable to not smile, gently shaking his head at you “that’s the first thing yer worried about? Yer damn phone?” he asked with amusement, a tired smirk on your lips as you looked at him “hey, I got some very private texts and pictures on that phone from my old man, I don’t want some blonde skank to go through my phone” you murmured, Chibs chuckling lightly. “How long has it been? Has Bobby gotten out yet?”

“Aye, ‘bout three weeks ago, love, but don’t you worry ‘bout that now, eh? Want you to heal properly-”

“Fuck that, I can’t stand that goddamn heart monitor, get me out of here-”

“Love-”

“I’m serious, get me out of here, I’ll sleep at the clubhouse, I have Tara’s number, I’m good-”

“I ain’t, ‘m not lettin’ yer outta this hospital before yer ready to do somersaults, love…”

“You’re going to wait a very long time because I couldn’t even do that before I got shot, I can’t do it with my fat ass” you joked lightly, Chibs smirking as he leaned over you, lips hovering over yours “aye, and what an arse it is” he purred, smirking when he heard the heart monitor indicate your heart rate going up. “Careful, I thought you wanted me to heal?”

“Aye, I do, but you’d have trouble bein’ careful too if you could see that arse of yours” Chibs whispered softly and dear god you were suddenly very aware at the lack of underwear these damn hospitals forced people to endure, a thin hospital gown really being the only clothing you had on. “Jesus Christ, Chibs… get me out of here” you whispered softly, pleading with him, Chibs gently shaking his head “not till yer ready-”

“Fillip, please, I’m good, I-”

“Ya have a hole through yer gut, love… yer alright in ‘ere, Happy’s alright with stayin’ guard while I’m not ‘ere” Chibs informed, a small sigh leaving you as you let yourself fall back down on your pillow “great, now I’m being guarded-”

“You were targeted, love… we got some idea who it was but we’ve never dealt with this type of shite before, ‘sides, Gemma’s been all weird as well, screamed at Clay ‘n kicked his bike-”

“Holy shit, I thought you said I’ve only been out for three weeks?”

“Ya have, love… shite’s fallin’ apart without yer, ‘bout a week after yer got shot, Gem’s got into an accident” Chibs’ voice was soft as he held your hand in his, a sigh leaving you as you closed your eyes and shook your head softly. Your free hand moved under the covers, feeling under your gown around your wound before nodding to yourself. “I wanna go home, Chibby… I don’t want to be here, it’s too-…”

“I know, love, I know. But ya ain’t healed yet-”

“Rick Grimes was good after a week or so” you shot back, Chibs shaking his head and smirking at you “yer ain’t Rick Grimes, love” he pointed out and you groaned “ain’t that the truth” you mumbled to yourself before forcing yourself to sit up, your heart monitor beeping like a fire alarm until you pulled the thing off your finger and those weird sticky things off your chest and ribs, Chibs moving around the bed to try and get you to lay down. “Love, yer ain’t-”

“Safe here, that’s what I’m not. I’m not safe here… the garage is basically a fortress, Chibs, I’m safer there. It’s been three weeks, it’s okay” you mumbled softly, cupping his scarred cheeks in your hands before standing up, wincing ever so slightly, Chibs reluctantly helping you up and holding you as you found your footing. Suddenly the door opened and Tigs popped in, mouth open like he was about to say something, until he saw your ass hanging out of the backless hospital gown. “I uh-... I’m-... like-... totally hard right now-”

“Get the fuck out yer creep” Chibs shouted, Tigs nodding, almost out of the door when he opened it back up with a small wince, knowing he was treading on thin ice. “Just wanted to say-... Jax needs you” he stated before hurrying out of the room before the Scottsman could slaughter him like a damn pig. You couldn’t help but shake your head and chuckle at Tig, he’d always been weird, you knew that, but he’d also always had a small thing for you since you returned to Charming from abroad the first time, either he was very, very attracted to you or he had a small crush on you, though you weren’t even sure if those things were separate when it came to Tig.

“Help me get dressed?” you asked softly, Chibs looking back down at you with soft eyes “aye, but I still ain’t sure ‘bout you leavin’” he voiced before hesitantly letting go of you on the bed to get a bag Gemma had packed for you for when you got released. “I know but-... I’m not a fan of hospitals, you know that. They freak me out and I can’t get better if I’m freaked out, right? That’s what doctors say? Lots of rest and all that? I can’t relax here…” you murmured, Chibs nodding with a soft sigh as he knew you were putting it lightly “I know love…” he looked up at you, kissing your bare leg as he helped you put your clothes on and get out of the hospital gown. “Hey, Tiggy!!” you called as you pulled your shirt down your body, being mostly clothed by now, the curly haired man entering with wide eyes, probably hoping to get another look at your ass. “Check me out, will ya? And I might let you see my ankles” you joked but Tig groaned like he was unbelievably turned on by your words, making you chuckle “absolutely, doll, whatever you want” he groaned, Chibs scoffing and glaring at him, making him nod and leave the room once more.

“Yer ankles?” Chibs asked amused, a smile forming on your face as you shrugged “you know, back in the day, seeing a lady’s ankles were the equivalent to porn or public sex” you stated casually, Chibs raising a teasing eyebrow at you as he was kneeling in front of you on one knee, his hands on your thighs, thumbs softly rubbing soothing circles against the fabric of your pants. “Yer sayin’ ya’d star in porn fer ‘im?” Chibs asked teasingly, a smirk forming on your lips as you leaned down, your lips brushing against his teasingly “for Tiggy? No, only for you, love” you whispered, giving him a quick kiss, hearing him groan quietly “yer’ll be the death of me, love” he murmured and you chuckled lightly before accepting his help to stand up, Tara nearly bursting through the door with Tiggy following. “Sorry, I tried to stop her-”

“You can’t check out yet, (Y/N), you’re not stable enou-”

“I’m stable enough to stand and walk, hell, even go down on my old man, I’m good” you spouted out, wincing and holding the side of your gut as you walked past her, Tig groaning quietly before following after you and Chibs, Tara hurrying after you. “You can’t sign out, you’re still healing-”

“Give me an AMA form and I’ll sign out against medical advice, I don’t-” you sighed and looked around, almost as though you were embarrassed, leaning closer to Tara with a frown “I don’t-... I don’t like hospitals, okay? And I don’t like doctors a-and nurses a-and all this medical shit” you whispered quietly, Tara sighing as she gently shook her head at you “I can’t in good confidence sign you out, (Y/N)... I-”

“Good luck tryin’ to get through to ‘er, doc, she won’t stay, my Old Lady’s not stayin’ ‘ere if she don’t want to, ‘n she don’t… don’t think a damn army could stop ‘er” Chibs admitted quietly, Tara sighing before getting the necessary papers that you had to sign, stating you were leaving against medical advice. Once that was signed, you let out a heavy sigh as you stepped out of the hospital, eyes closed for a brief moment “let’s go home, love” Chibs stated softly, wrapping an arm carefully around you as he walked towards the T.M truck, Tig getting on his own bike.

[darkopsiian]

fuck it- the chances of me doing an irl face reveal any time soon is highly unlikely, but i will draw myself on occasion.

my hair is actually that fucking fluffy i'm not exaggerating.. idk i reached 1k subs here and 15k on youtube, so this is the best you're gonna get.

[witchthewriter]

𝐏𝐎𝐕: You’re Jax Teller’s Old Lady - this is what your photo album looks like. 

(the first photo is framed and hung in your house) 

[cameronthecryptid]

I love Tomodachi Life because only in there can these people be in loving relationships and marriages

Panty and the Batter are just dating but in my mind they’re good as married

[anarchypumpkincowboy]

Man’s got a nice ass

thank you lady Jane for gifting me with this scene of him pouring water over himself to the tune of wild thing

HE’S A HORSE?!?!???? Okay… okay was not expecting that

[tumbleweed-writes]

Death and the Lady: Chibs Telford X Reader. Chapter Ten

PREVIOUS CHAPTER FOUND HERE

TAG LIST: @youngadult9016  @mrsfilipchibstelford @mamawiggers1980 @ravennaortiz @liveinsteadofdreaming @redwoodmaya

NSFW WARNING 18+ Only. Smut as well as Descriptions of past SA.

Chapter Ten: Reverence

Y/N would be lying if she tried to claim that she didn’t find herself clinging to Chibs a little tighter than usual as she rode on the back of his bike, which was saying something considering she’d found that she usually held on to him quite tightly.

As much as she’d found that she still very much enjoyed being on the back of a bike; the act still filled the lowest point of her belly with a sense of dread, her mind unable to shake the knowledge that a love of Harleys had forever ruined her elder brother’s life.

As much as she might enjoy being on the back of a bike; there was still that reminder lingering in the back of her mind that bikes and recklessness had taken the brother she knew and loved away forever. Although he was still here physically, he would never be the same man ever again. 

It seemed that Chibs did not mind her tight grip onto his body as he occasionally reached down to gently caress her hand each time they had to stop at a stop light. It felt as though he was making an attempt to give her some small sign of silent reassurance though she was unsure if he was reassuring her about being on his bike or all that had happened tonight. Perhaps it was a bit of both. 

This night had gone far from how she’d hoped. She had been expecting a night where she might be more than a little bored watching a bare-knuckle boxing match and at least attempting to feign the appearance of having a good time in an effort to please Chibs. She’d been determined to be a good sport and attempt to get along with Chibs’ brothers, support the Prospect, and show Chibs that she was willing to attempt to be a part of his world. 

She’d not been anticipating a flash from her past; not the one she’d gotten at least.

Sure, being in an environment where several Sons might be present had given her some expectation that she might find herself being silently reminded of a few more shameful behaviors from her past.

She’d not anticipated that her past would slap her in the face like this though.

Coming face to face with Gunner had been the last thing she’d ever wanted to experience. 

She was horrified to realize that the outlaw biker still had a way of making her feel all too small. 

She didn’t understand how he could still make her feel so worthless and so frightened even after almost a decade apart. 

Before she’d fallen into Gunner’s bed and been fed whatever substances he’d been willing to provide her; she’d had a willful spirit. The Sons clubhouse had provided an outlet for that headstrong spirit. She’d felt embraced for all her foolhardiness, for a short while at least, thanks to Jax’s insistence that she be allowed there. 

She’d been so determined to chase even bigger highs and even more dangerous situations though. Jax had been unable to keep her from falling further and further into chaos. She had pushed back against his attempts to coax her from Gunner. She’d been so determined to dive face first into everything Gunner offered without even looking. 

 Gunner had been so willing to provide those highs and show her that danger despite Jax’s disapproval. She’d lost her ability to be so headstrong under Gunner’s gaze. Sure, she’d had her moments of working up her nerve to mouth off to him. He had not been the type to tolerate her smart mouth though. He always had a way of making it clear to her that he was stronger and larger than her. 

As awful as it made her feel; she almost regretted not allowing Chibs to continue on with the fight Gunner was trying to goad him into. She could admit that it would have felt nice to see someone knock Gunner down a peg after all the times he’d tried to knock her down.

The realization that Chibs would risk getting quite beaten up himself had pushed her to stop the impending fist fight though. She adored the Scot too much to let him earn any black eyes or split lips over her.

She was hit with an almost amusing realization. Though she’d expressed to Old Charlie that she was certain her father would disapprove of Chibs as a romantic partner for her…a small part of her was sure her father might have approved just the slightest over Chibs’ quick act of wanting to fight to defend her honor. He’d tried to protect her; a small part of her had to wonder if her father might have approved of the act of trying to protect her though her father had never been big on physical altercations. 

Facing Gunner tonight had unnerved her. 

Facing her former bed partner and drug buddy had made her feel far too much like that scared, burnt out, and damaged twenty year old girl calling her father from a phone booth almost a decade before.

As hard as she tried she couldn’t shake the conversation she’d had with Old Charlie a few days before; the talk about how she was so certain her father must have felt ashamed of her at some point during those wild years of her youth spent with SAMCRO.

She didn’t see how he couldn’t possibly have felt at least some minimal amount of embarrassment when he thought of who she’d been back then. She thought back to all those times he’d bailed her out of the local jail for some stupid incident she’d pulled. She remembered all the community service, the alcohol education programs, and the fines she’d endured for her misbehavior.

She remembered all those worried glances he’d sent her way when she’d come home far too late the next day after a night out sunglasses on her eyes and rough love bites obvious along her neck. She remembered how everyone around town had seen the sight of her riding around Charming on different Son’s bikes. 

She knew her father had been aware of the obvious signs she’d been engaging in far more illicit substances than underage drinking and a few joints.

She was well aware of all the whispers around town about the funeral director’s poor wayward daughter who’d fallen into a wild crowd with the local biker gang. She was certain her father must have caught some looks of pity over his poor troublesome daughter. 

She imagined she’d been far from the daughter her father had hoped for. They’d always been so close after all. After all that had happened with her brother though, she’d made an attempt to yank from the bond she’d shared with her father. 

She’d resented her father. A cruel voice in the back of her mind had been convinced that maybe if her father had not pushed her brother over mortuary school then Daniel never would have gotten in that wreck that night. She resented her brother for being so reckless that he’d gotten into motorcycles to begin with. She resented the funeral business and how it had made her such an outcast among her peers. She resented the pride her father held over their stupid family legacy and the wretched responsibility he claimed the Y/L/N family had over being keepers of Charming’s dead. She had wanted to scream that it was not a legacy she wanted. 

In her resentment and her rebellion she’d shamed her father. She had shamed their legacy. 

Y/N found herself thinking back to Old Charlie’s words; his insistence that her father had only been worried but never ashamed.

Even if that was true she could not shake the overwhelming guilt of what she must have put Lloyd Y/L/N through. Her father had already essentially lost the son he’d loved and then his only remaining child had seemed so determined to throw her life away. She had been chasing one high after another never satisfied. It was as though she’d continuously touched the flame and acted shocked as it burned her over and over and over again. She never learned her lesson. 

She had been self destructive in the truest extent of the word. 

She knew that people often romanticized self destruction and chaos. They saw the high of the parties and the drugs and even the sex. They ignored the misery and the pain or at the very least they tried to make it somehow seem like some noble way to give a middle finger to polite society. In her opinion though, self destruction was not poetic. For her the act of self destruction had been a selfish act. She’d been so caught up in her own misery that she’d been unable to see that she was making everyone around her just as miserable.

She found that her mind was a jumbled mess of fear over coming face to face with Gunner and a sense of shame over her past misdeeds. She was not looking forward to making Chibs aware of any of those misdeeds.

Chibs found that his own mind was a mess. He found himself once again reaching down to caress Y/N’s hand as they came to another stop light. 

He ran his thumb along her soft skin attempting to soothe both her anxieties over all that had happened tonight as well as the sense of rage he still felt rolling through his veins.

If Y/N had not coaxed him away from Gunner, Chibs was certain he’d have beaten the man’s face into the dirt below them. He was surprised that she had managed to push through that rage within him. She’d been able to push past his anger and soothe him just enough to make him back down. 

He was certain if she’d not pleaded with him to let it go though, he would have let loose all of his anger on Gunner. He hadn’t been lying to the man. Chibs cared more about what Y/N wanted than what he wanted. He was putting her needs above his desires. If she had needed to get far from the fairgrounds and Gunner then Chibs was going to make it happen even if he’d much rather have knocked Gunner out.  

He felt sick to his stomach thinking of all that Gunner had to say about Y/N. The crude comments about her body and her promiscuity as a former Friday Night Girl made him feel nothing but blind red rage. He felt even more ill and enraged when he stopped to consider that Gunner had obviously harmed Y/N judging by the sight of her wrist. That sick feeling had only grown when he stopped to consider that this wasn’t the first time the Son had harmed her judging by Gunner’s comment about knowing how Y/N needed plenty of reminders of her place. 

Chibs was well aware of Gunner’s reputation among the Sons. The recently patched in Tacoma Son had a nasty reputation. Gunner had originally prospected and been patched into the Colorado branch of the Sons over a decade before. The Denver, Colorado Sons had not seemed keen to keep Gunner around though. Gunner had gone nomad for a long while, though Gunner claimed it was his own choice, Chibs had suspected that SAMDEN had not wanted to put up with the troublesome man any longer. The patch over into Tacoma was a recent development. Chibs was surprised that the Tacoma charter had taken on the burden that was Gunner. 

To put it frankly, Gunner was an asshole. 

Chibs of course knew that this statement wasn’t saying much. He was certain that quite a few of the men he shared a patch with, himself included, could be described as assholes and much worse, more slanderous terms.

Gunner had earned a notoriety of being a real piece of work though. He had a big mouth and was happy to pick fights with anyone. It didn’t seem to matter much if he shared a patch with his sparring partners. He seemed to enjoy pressing people’s buttons. He took some sick enjoyment in upsetting people. The Son seemed to take pride in fighting with just about anyone from those he shared a patch with to those outside of the club. He seemed particularly proud of his propensity for beating croweaters, strippers, and sex workers. He bragged about knocking sense into sweetbutts who got a little too mouthy or just doing it because he found it amusing. 

Gunner made it no secret that for him, there was a paper-thin fine blurred line between violence and sex. He was vocal about how he enjoyed causing pain for his bed partners. From the few things Chibs had been unfortunate enough to overhear, it seemed that Gunner enjoyed being as sadistic as possible to the women he charmed into his bed. Chibs had always gotten the sense that there was a possibility Gunner’s sexual partners weren’t always prepared for the violence. It was a realization that disturbed him. 

Chibs had always felt as though Gunner was absolute pond scum. Chibs knew he’d done a lot of crooked things in his own life. He was aware that he was not on any moral high ground. Chibs had killed and caused his own share of pain in the name of both the cause in Belfast and his devotion to the Sons. 

Chibs knew he might be called a bastard by many, but he was nowhere near the same level of evil as Gunner.

The idea of Gunner having shared a bed with the woman he adored, made Chibs feel a sense of unease he couldn’t shake.

He kept thinking back to the look in Y/N’s eyes at the fairground as she stared up at Gunner. Chibs remembered the way she’d gravitated towards himself the second she’d spotted him make his way through the fairgrounds as though she’d subconsciously sought out his protection. Chibs thought back to how she’d seemed so relieved as he had stepped in front of her blocking Gunner’s view of her.

Everything within Chibs was screaming out to protect Y/N. He’d wanted so badly to beat Gunner to a bloody pulp in order to protect or at the very least defend the honor of Y/N. 

If it wasn’t for her insistence that he let it go and take her home he was certain he would have beat the man until his knuckles were split and bloodied. He was sure he would have gotten just as bruised and beaten in the process but it would have been well worth it.

He knew of course that beating Gunner would have done him no favors in the long run.

There was a certain protocol to follow when it came to disagreements between brothers. Fist fighting was allowed; but it was usually frowned upon. When two brothers had a disagreement in the Sons it was expected that they might meet in the ring if the clubhouse in question had a designated ring that was. Either way the fight should be agreed upon and planned. It was expected that the brothers would sort out the disagreement with a physical altercation essentially punching the aggression out. It was expected that once that aggression was fought out then the brothers would make up and all would be forgiven.

Chibs was certain that if he exchanged blows with Gunner, that there would be no forgiveness in the end. This was not a forgive and forget situation.

Chibs had the realization that Y/N had done him a favor in dragging him away from the fight. A fight between charters was not ideal; especially with SAMCRO’s current shaky financial situation dealing with the gun supply to the Irish. 

Fighting between two members of SAMCRO and SAMTAC would not be favorable. 

Chibs knew Clay would have his head if he lost his cool and beat the shit out of SAMTAC’s newest patched over member.

Still though, Chibs couldn’t help but to feel a slight sense of disappointment that he’d not been able to beat Gunner within an inch of his life.

He pushed back this desire, putting a lid on his anger, as Y/N and he finally arrived at her home, the long walk up to Y/L/N and Sons Funeral Home seeming all the more daunting.

Y/N stared up at the home finding the large Victorian home an equal mix of comforting and intimidating. She knew it sounded so strange but she often felt as though the house did not actually belong to her. It felt more as though she belonged to the house.

So many generations of her family had lived and died in the home. It felt more like a breathing living entity than a structure. If houses had souls she had to wonder and fear what her house’s soul would look like. 

It felt as though she was destined to always be a part of the house. Even when she was away in New York, deep down inside she knew that she would always belong to this house. She was born here and she would die here.

She often found herself going back and forth between finding the concept soothing to finding it overwhelming and frightening.

She kept these thoughts to herself, sure it would make her seem unbalanced if she were to ever voice them outloud.

She fished her keys from her purse Chibs and she wordlessly making their way upstairs after locking the front entrance behind them.

Chibs frowned astonished to be met with a sliding wooden door not long after they made the long trek up the L-shaped stairs that took them from the funeral home portion of the home to Y/N’s living quarters.

She spoke her voice softly, explaining the large sliding door. “An addition from my grandmother sometime in the 1960s. I think she got sick of curious mourners being able to wander upstairs. Pretty sure her last straw was an Irish Wake my grandfather put together…she found some drunk mourner puking in her kitchen sink and she demanded my grandfather build some sort of physical separation from business to home.”

“Aye, sounds bout righ’ fer an Irish wake.” Chibs remarked knowing he’d attended quite a few during his days in Belfast and had probably puked in a few less polite places than a sink.

She slid the door open allowing Chibs to follow along behind her before she shut it behind them.

Chibs studied his surroundings as she flipped on a light switch. He was not surprised to find that upstairs was just as filled with as many pieces of old looking furniture as downstairs.

However the upstairs quarters seemed far more…cluttered…to put it politely. The walls felt busy with oil paintings and framed photographs. He remembered her commenting on how her ancestors had been obsessed with having portraits done. The floors were not without fine looking persian rugs. Knick knacks lined a wall of bookshelves along with more than enough books.

Chibs eyed some of the book titles knowing he shouldn’t be shocked by the content: Death in Medieval Europe, The Art and Science of Embalming, American Afterlife, The Art of Funeral Directing, Traditions of Death and Burial, Death and Burial in Ancient Egypt, Funeral Customs Around the World, Death and Dying in Ancient Times, Funerals of the Famous, and several other titles all dedicated to the business Y/N’s family had long been in. 

He eyed a few other books mixed among all the death and funeral content: The Art of Vegetable Gardening, FolkTales and Fables From Around the World, the Guide to Successful Homemaking, Seventeenth Century Prose and Poetry, The Book of Home Taxidermy, among a few others. 

He was also surprised by the sheer amount of cookbooks. It felt that there was a cookbook for every cuisine imaginable; French, Greek, Italian, and so on. 

He followed her as she dropped her purse on a nearby end table beside an old looking rotary phone, a large chunk of amethyst, and what looked like a taxidermy squirrel under a glass dome that may have seen better days at one point.

He spotted a few more taxidermy pieces on the walls making the space seem all the more crowded; deer antlers, a ram of some sort, and a wild boar head.

She spoke over her shoulder clearly spotting the visual overload he was enduring as he tried to take in all the parts of her home. “I know it's a lot to take in…my father could never stand to part with anything. I think he could place sentimental value to just about anything in this place…especially after my mom died. I keep meaning to put some of this in storage, so it’ll feel more like my home than the family museum. I keep looking at paying to have a shed built out back to store this stuff in at least…I just haven’t gotten around to it.”

She paused speaking more to herself than to him. “I have a love-hate relationship with all the clutter. Most of it is family heirlooms but it made growing up here feel overwhelming. Pretty sure the bedroom is the only place that felt like my own as a kid. The house was built onto over the years and my ancestors collected things to fill it with. This house sometimes feels like a mouth with too many teeth.”

Chibs nodded his head wordlessly not helping but to agree with the final part of her statement. While the downstairs portion of the home felt spacious, even with the nice furniture, the upstairs section felt busy and like sensory overload.

She spoke as they reached the living room he eyeing the sofa, the burnt orange mid century design clearly from the 1960s. He spotted a nearby recliner that looked a little newer; a nice leather. He had to wonder if the recliner had belonged to her late father.  

The Television sitting across from the sofa felt just as old; an old boxset with a dial to change the channel and bunny eared antenna. He had to wonder if the picture was black and white. He guessed she didn’t watch much TV. 

She spoke nodding to him to take a seat. “Do you want a drink? I would offer a soda…but I feel like we need something stronger.”

“I’ll take whatever ya got.” He reassured her as he took a seat on the sofa relieved that it felt far cushier than it looked.

She made her way to the kitchen he sinking down into the sofa, his eyes studying his surroundings all the more.

He could understand what she meant by a mouth with too many teeth. The space felt overcrowded.

He swallowed the lump developing in the back of his throat spotting a framed photo on the wall, it hitting him that he was gazing upon a family portrait. The young woman standing in the photo holding the infant who had to be Y/N looked quite a bit like an adult version of Y/N though her hair color differed. 

Y/N spoke as she returned to the room holding a bottle of Bourbon and two heavy looking glasses. She nodded to the photo on the wall. “The first official family photo featuring me. It was taken after my parents brought me home from the hospital…though the hospital visit was just to get me checked out…I was actually born in this house.”

She paused, shaking her head as she sat down beside him depositing the booze and glasses on a coffee table in front of them. “The doctor my mother was seeing at the time told my parents I was going to be late, so there was no worry over me hitting the first due date they set. Pretty sure the guy was hitting the sauce more often than not and wasn’t the most attentive to his patients. There were plans to just take my mother to the hospital and induce labor. I had other plans though. I was born in the kitchen. My poor mother had to birth me on the kitchen tile by the coffee pot, because I was coming too quickly to make it to the hospital. My father had to practically deliver me because the doctor they called up was taking his sweet time. My birth story was my father’s favorite story to tell…When I was a kid I would try to stand in the same spot my mom allegedly gave birth in, and see if I felt any different than I felt in any other area of the house.”

“Did ya?” Chibs dared to ask it taking him a moment to absorb the odd tale. He quickly realized the woman he adored did in fact hail from an eccentric family and it wasn’t just because of the family business.

“No, I never felt any different…much to my disappointment. I won’t lie though, it’s pretty freaking weird eating oatmeal in the same room you know you were born in.” She commented, shaking her head as she opened the bottle of bourbon pouring what was probably considered two too far full glasses.

She let out a soft sigh they sitting in silence for a moment both well aware they needed to broach the subject of what had happened at the fairgrounds but both uncertain of how to even start the conversation.

Chibs cringed as he watched her pick up her glass taking a slow sip from it he was able to spot that her wrist was beginning to bruise.

He reached out his touch feather light to the light reddish tint to her skin knowing that the blood was beginning to pool to that surface, as she placed her glass on the table in front of her. “Shite, Hen. I shoulda been there to protect ya..Fuckin’ prospect had me distracted. Half-nutted muppet was supposed to throw the last damn figh’. He owes us $35,000. I was caugh’ up scoldin him fer his fuck up”.

She spoke the sound of guilt in his voice making a sense of shame of her own wash over her. She wouldn’t have been in danger if she hadn’t had a history with Gunner. Her history with the Son had caught his attention and had resulted in his assault. “You can’t protect me from everything, Filip.”

“Aye, I can fuckin’ try though.” He remarked proving that he had a stubborn streak about as wide as hers.

The comment may have put an affectionate smile on her lips if she wasn’t so emotionally drained from the night. “I don’t think either of us anticipated my past would show up, at least not like this.”

She paused knowing that there was no way of avoiding this conversation. She just had to pray that he’d meant what he said back at the fairgrounds; that this talk would not change how he felt about her.

She let out a soft sigh watching him take a slow sip of his own drink. “I have a lot to tell you about me.”

He sighed, reaching out his hand clasping over hers as he spoke reassuring her of the words he’d said to her back at the fairgrounds. “Aye ya do, I promise ya I ain’ goin’ anywhere no matter what it is.”

She managed to give him a weak smile, not sure if she believed him though the statement was kind.

She gave his hand a light squeeze hoping he would not release her hand as he heard the entire story. She spoke knowing that this was the best place to start. “After my brother…got injured…You remember me mentioning I tried to kick Jax in the balls?”

Chibs smirked, nodding his head remembering that he was amused by the imagery. “Aye I recall that story.”

She sighed nodding her head. “I was angry and I blamed Jackson. He encouraged my brother to get into Harleys…Opie and Jax both did…Jax was the one who helped my brother find the damn bike. It was a piece of shit honestly, but they fixed it up a little…as much as my brother could afford. I loved my brother, he was my only friend growing up…My childhood was…lonely at best. I chose the isolation, or at least that’s what I claimed. The truth is, none of the other kids seemed too interested in befriending the kid who lived in the house their grandparents had their funerals in.”

She shook her head picking up her glass taking another drink with the hand that wasn’t locked in Chibs’ grasp. She spoke as she swallowed her drink cringing at the burn regretting not getting a chaser. “That night that I showed up at the clubhouse, the night after my brother tried to kill me…I wanted to kill Jax. Of course, I was barely 18 and probably barely 110 pounds soaking wet back then. I wasn’t going to do much damage to him. By some miracle he didn’t kick me out of the clubhouse…I think he felt sorry for me. He knew why I was there. News about my brother spread fast. I guess Jackson felt guilty in a way…remembered he’d talked my brother into the bike. He felt responsible for what happened to my brother…that sense of responsibility just shifted to watching over the drunk 18 year old girl trying to hit him outside a biker clubhouse.”

She paused, taking another sip as she continued. “He smoked a joint with me that night…after he let me scream at him about how much I hated him and wanted him dead. I got so high that I think I fell asleep on his shoulder…I didn’t smoke pot much back then. Despite my big mouth I was shockingly quite the good girl growing up. The only trouble I got in during high school was running my mouth…I mean I was a pest to Skeeter when he was living here in this house apprenticing under my father…and I tended to be willful even back then…impulsive, but I kept clean.”

Chibs smirked somewhat at the comment about her being a good girl. In any other situation he may have joked that teenage him would have enjoyed corrupting teenage her. 

He kept his lips sealed though knowing now wasn’t the time for that joke.

She spoke, shaking her head ever so slightly. “After that night Jax kept inviting me back to the clubhouse…I think he could sense I was struggling…needed someone to talk to, even if I was still pissed off at him. We’d usually share a joint and he’d let me vent. I think I reminded him of himself in some ways, especially when I vented about the legacy I was expected to follow in my family…I think he felt the same about his own legacy. I think he was going through other shit too…Tara, his first love…she ditched Charming less than five years before and he was trying to distract himself. Taking care of me was a distraction…We were just friends at first…but booze and pot kind of aided into it becoming more of a friends with benefits situation.”

She paused, spotting the tension in Chibs’ jaw at the information. She swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking again trying to at least provide a hint of reassurance that this was not a love scenario. “Neither of us had any delusions about what we were doing. We weren’t interested in dating. The sex was never really an act of love. We didn’t see it as anything serious. We cared for one another just not in a romantic sense. We fought plenty enough for any romantic relationship to have been ruinous. I thought he was arrogant and bossy and he thought I was impulsive and irresponsible…both were true. Sex was a distraction.”

She paused again, a soft sigh leaving her spilling more of the truth. “Jackson wasn’t even my first. I’d already lost the big V card a few years prior to some guy who was visiting his family over the Summer…He snuck over to my place at like two am one night and I let him take my V card out near the old pet cemetery…Pretty sure he freaked out and disappeared once he spotted a tombstone…that experience was more of me wanting to get rid of the whole virgin status. Kid was a year older than me and the experience was full of disappointment. I think I remember thinking that if this was sex then I didn’t get the appeal because the guy came in ten seconds flat. I won’t lie and pretend that Jax didn’t at least show me the appeal of sex…Jax was just a means of distraction for me though. I didn’t have any delusions about his feelings towards me. Usually we’d just drink, smoke, and fuck. There was no sense that it was anything more than a distraction for us both. It went on for about a year where I showed up and we proceeded to take part in this weird ritual we’d built. He was definitely fucking other women and I was so interested in other guys.”

She spoke not daring to gaze in Chibs’ direction again. How did you explain to the guy who you were falling for that you’d fucked someone he was so close to in the past?

“The more time I spent at the club the more I fell into the chaos. It was like that thing we talked about on our second date…that world, SAMCRO, it lets you escape misery if you let yourself sink into chaos. I started to pull from Jax and spent more time indulging in what the clubhouse had to offer. Jax allowed it, he kept a close eye on me of course…Like I said, I think he felt responsible for me. I proved to be stubborn about his watchful eyes. I figured out that I was capable of charming other guys into bed…mostly nomads and maybe a few visiting non patched in guys who hit up the parties. Jax didn’t really approve, but like I said, we weren’t a couple and had zero interest in being one. I built an odd reputation around the clubhouse. I was young and willing to try just about anything…on my own terms at least. I wasn’t a croweater…Jax shut down any talk from anyone that I was just another croweater. I turned down more than a few guys and if they had shit to say about it they had to answer to Jax. Like I said, that weird screwed up sense of responsibility he felt for me. Most of the local patched in Sons knew just who my dad was and they were a little freaked out by the idea that my father had access to a cremator. So, between that and Jax, most of the local patched Sons didn’t try it with me…Tig tried once or twice, but I heard enough about some of his strange interests in the bedroom that I wasn’t interested. Even drunk, I wasn’t into it. I got into a lot of trouble due to my association with Jax and the club. I have a record that I’m not entirely proud of. It’s all light stuff; drunk and disorderly, disorderly conduct, reckless driving, a couple of DUIs. I paid plenty of fines and had to do some community service…pretty sure I attended a couple of alcohol awareness courses.”

She felt her throat grow tight staring down at the drink in her hand as she explained further. “The summer between my nineteenth and twentieth birthday Gunner showed up at the clubhouse for the first time. He was a nomad and I was indulging pretty hard still. I drank more than I ever did and I was getting bored with the pot. I was looking for a bigger high. I was getting weary of the usual Friday night party and Gunner offered me something more interesting. He always had plenty of narcotics and usually some acid…Usually he’d share whatever he had in whatever dorm he was crashing in. I know it was super frowned upon…the harder stuff. I always tried to reason with myself that at least it wasn’t heroin or meth or anything like that.  He was happy to give me the Valium and the occasional codeine. It was a bigger high than the pot and the booze and I felt like my brain shut up for once. The shared pills came with expectations though. He was pretty damn rough the first time I let him fuck me. I thought I could take it though. I was high enough that I managed to shake off the roughness. He spent a few weeks staying in the Sons clubhouse that first month we met…and the routine continued with pills and sex that got increasingly rough. When he went back on the road I managed to talk myself into thinking it wasn’t as bad as I perceived it.”

She sighed her stomach knotting up as she willed herself to continue. “I almost forgot about him until he came back through for a longer stay. Jax didn’t approve of all the time Gunner and I were spending together. Didn’t help that Gunner and I proved to be pretty toxic when we both had too much to drink. I had a big mouth and he was more of an asshole than usual when we drank. Pretty sure I got arrested for getting into a physical altercation with him at a gas station during his second visit to Charming. Even with the arrest we got more attached to each other. The pills helped form that attachment. I was so determined to self-destruct and he…I don’t know what he was looking for with me. The sex got more…intense. He stopped caring about consent when it came to certain acts…Pretty sure to his ears no meant more. He didn’t seem to care if he hurt me. He pushed me into a few things I wasn’t comfortable with…anal that he didn’t prep me for properly…hitting and biting…the threesome with a croweater that felt so uncomfortable and not at all something I wanted to repeat…when I expressed my discomfort it was ignored. My comfort level was never something he paid much mind to. He was nice enough between the bedroom activities. I let myself believe that I was overreacting.”

She noticed Chibs’ grip on her hand grew tighter but she still refused to look into his eyes; she was terrified of what she would see in those eyes she’d found so lovely. She feared she’d see disgust. 

She sighed knowing she had to get into the last event, the one that had pushed her off the path she’d been determined to go down. “The last straw happened a few months before my twenty-first birthday…Gunner was in town again. I tried Oxy that he gave me…I didn’t like it. It felt too strong…pretty sure he let me take too much. Things proceeded per usual. I think he was in a bad mood that night though…He was rougher than usual. I felt out of it for a while. As it proceeded, the high started to lift and I was filled with this sense of dread…it was a panic attack, I think. I realized I didn’t want to be there underneath him and I didn’t want him inside of me. I was still hazy but I was aware enough to try to tell him to stop. I don’t know if he just didn’t hear me or didn’t care…I think it was the latter. He choked me…he wrapped his hands around my throat and squeezed down. I started to feel my vision tunnel and I remember thinking I was going to die. I almost blacked out before he let go…and finished. I laid there afterwards while he fell asleep and I remember I was so afraid that I couldn’t move…I was petrified, just locked in this overwhelming sense of dread. The choking…it brought up traumas I hadn’t dealt with.”

Chibs felt bile rise in the back of his throat at the description, his mind flashing to exactly why the choking had been traumatic; her brother trying to choke her in anger just years prior to this incident she was describing.  

He was disturbed by her comments about Gunner not caring about consent. He wanted to point out to her what that meant…what his ignoring consent had meant about anything he’d done to her. 

He parted his lips to speak but she didn’t give him a chance speaking again continuing the story. “I woke up before him the next morning…barely made it to the bathroom before I puked…My entire body and my throat hurt so much and the vomit just made it all the worse. Prick didn’t even notice I got out of bed or didn’t care…I remember looking into the bathroom mirror and it was like I really saw myself for the first time in years. I realized I didn’t want to die anymore. I somehow managed to get dressed and literally walked for I don’t even know how long…I found a phone booth and called my dad…Told him I was tired and I wanted help.”

She paused her eyes watering somewhat as she continued though she made an attempt to wipe them placing her glass down on the coffee table. “It was the most humiliating moment of my life…my father pulling up in the hearse and finding me sitting on the sidewalk bruised, looking like hell, a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. I looked like I’d seen death. I’m amazed he didn’t walk down to the clubhouse and put a bullet in between Gunner’s eyes…and probably Jax’s too while he was at it. My father loved me deeply and I practically worshiped him, even with all the shit I put him through. He was a gentle soul even with as large of a man as he was. Seeing that someone had hurt me in that way…I’m shocked he didn’t put aside his gentle heart and get one of the hunting rifles he had out. I think Old Charlie talked him out of it. Made him realize the focus needed to be on taking care of me and then on me getting the hell out of Charming…giving me a chance to start over. My dad dipped into savings we didn’t have and sent me out east at my request. We didn’t talk about that day again…not until a few months before he died. He told me it was one of the worst days of his life because he had to see just what pain I’d gone through…but it was also the moment he knew he could breathe again…I was at my rock bottom and I was going to get better. I spent so long scaring him to death, and me admitting I was just as scared meant that I was going to be okay.”

She was stunned as Chibs finally spoke his hand squeezing hers so tight it was almost painful. She could pick up on a weepy tone to his voice much like the tone he’d picked up when he described his past in Belfast to her. “Oh, Hen…Christ, Love.”

She dared to turn to face him both relieved and surprised she saw no disgust nor any pity. He stared at her his eyes misty but filled with reverence for her. He spoke a storm beginning to brew behind those eyes she’d found such a pleasant shade of brown. She’d realized his eyes made her think of the rich soil in her greenhouse. It was a shade she associated with warmth and life. "If I'd known ya back then...oh, Hen."

He spoke his words anything but warm. “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill the prick.”

She shook her head a heavy sigh leaving her knowing that although she wouldn’t mind Gunner meeting karma she didn’t want that karma to come from Chibs. “No, I don’t want that.”

He furrowed his brow fast to speak again. “He practically fuckin’ raped ya, Lass, more than once from what it sounds like…that’s what it was ain’ it? Ya tol’ him to stop and he ignored ya. What do ya call it? How am I suppose’ to not kill him knownin’ all the times he hurt ya.”

She sighed knowing she’d already talked through the question about what her experiences with Gunner meant. 

She took a deep breath, her voice soft. “I know what him not caring about my consent in most of our interactions together means. I’m well aware of it. I’ve had the therapy…and while I would love nothing more than to know that someone put a bullet through his skull…I would rather not have you go on trial for murder over a piece of garbage like him.”

Chibs sighed, tempted to tell her he’d gotten away with murder before…more than once with the cause and in service of SAMCRO. He held in the comment his voice tense. “I could do it. We could both do it, Hen…You got the means to get rid of his body.”

She shook her head giving his hand a soft squeeze as she spoke. “And say you do kill him…then all sorts of shit lands on SAMCRO’s lap. Pretty sure even your brothers talk…they will know all about the altercation at the fairgrounds. They’ve probably already heard about it. Let’s say you go off and kill the bastard and you’re even super subtle about it. SAMCRO and SAMTAC will still put a missing Son together with the last interaction he’d had with another Son over me. Pretty sure those guys you share a patch with are smart enough to connect the dots and realize that the member of one charter killed a member of another charter. I don’t know much about how SAMCRO operates, but I have a feeling that loyalty and falling in line with the good of the club is pretty smiled upon. I don’t think you going off and killing someone from the Tacoma charter over something that happened almost a decade ago is going to be swept under the rug. I have a feeling you going off and making that choice all by yourself is going to be seen as you being reckless in your brothers eyes…pretty sure reckless shit like that is seen as a threat to the club. Something like the Sons of Anarchy can’t survive when threats are allowed to exist.”

He glared down at his barely touched glass of bourbon not helping but to equally hate and adore how smart she was. She was once again proving she could work her way through any rage he felt. She was once again proving to be a voice of reason.

He knew she had a point and a surprising amount of insight as to just how his world within the club operated. The act he wanted to carry out on Gunner was the reason a sign hung in the Chapel at the clubhouse brains before bullets. He hated that she had a point. 

He let out a shaky breath, his voice tight. “I want him dead. I don’ care how long ago this shite happened.”

She pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, the action soothing him just the slightest. “I’ve wanted him dead for a while, Baby. Like I said though, it’s a risk I refuse to let you take. You mean way too much to me for me to let you take that risk.”

He let out a shaky sigh, his determination to go out and kill Gunner in cold blood slipping by the second.

He spoke mentally coming to compromise. “If he ever even thinks bout approachin’ you ever again…I’ll fuckin break his hands and his legs…make it so he can’t ride.”

She sighed knowing that this threat of violence wasn’t entirely welcome as far her fears of him placing himself as being seen as a threat to SAMCRO went. She held back the desire to point this out though knowing she had to compromise as well. “Okay, that’s fair.”

She reached out stroking his ever messy hair, his hand remaining locked in hers, his breathing uneven as he tried to calm himself.

She continued to press soft kisses to his cheek, her voice reassuring. “I’m okay, I promise.”

“Yer fuckin’ wrist tells a different story.” He responded, his stomach turning realizing that the hurt wrist was far from the worst injury she’d endured.

“I’ll heal. I’m pretty resilient. It’s a talent of mine.” She reassured him, pressing another kiss to his cheek.

He sighed closing his eyes, letting her press soft kisses against his cheek, her fingers trailing through his hair, as he continued to will himself to let go of the rage he felt.

She spoke after a long moment of silence daring to bring up the reassurance he’d given her before they’d gone down this road. “Have you changed how you feel about me? Knowing what you know?”

“Never gonna change how I feel bout ya.” He stated zero hesitation on his lips the comment soothing her fears so easily.

She dared to press the issue needing to know. “Even with the information about Jax?”

He sighed, rolling the question around in his brain. To be honest, he’d anticipated this information being a possibility. He had noticed enough through their interactions with one another to guess that there was a history there. 

He wasn’t exactly thrilled by the history, but a voice in the back of his brain was quick to point out that it was exactly that history.

He spoke a small sigh escaping his lips. “Pretty sure ya ain’ interested in gettin back together with him.”

“I was never together with him, Filip. We had a very dysfunctional bond and we were both distracting each other from our own shit. Trust me though, it’s not a bond I’m looking to rekindle. We were never a couple. He may have looked out for me while I was going through my self-destructive phase at the clubhouse. He was far from being in a romantic relationship with me though. He never took me on an actual date. He didn’t hold my hand. He didn’t take me to get snow cones. We had zero interest in becoming anything more than a convenient fuck and a way to cope with our own issues. Christ, if we’d ever become an item we would have been disastrous…like the Titanic sinking level disaster.”

He nodded his head, giving her hand a squeeze he quick to reassure her. “I know. I’m the only one takin’ ya to get snow cones and holdin’ yer hand.”

She gave him a tight half smile shaking her head as she spoke. “I wasn’t sure how to tell you any of this. What do you tell the guy you’re super into that you’ve fucked a few of the guys he shares a brotherhood with?”

He gave her hand another squeeze, the words coming to him so easily. “Aye, pretty sure the lad yer into is into ya ‘nough that he doesn’t see much of a poin’ in gettin’ jealous over shite that happened almos’ a decade ago when he didn’t even know ya. We all got our indiscretions, Lass.”

He paused a small playful smirk crossing his features. “I’m also pretty sure the lad knows yer not interested in any of his brothers. Think he’s realized yer only interested in gettin’ a good thorough Glaswegian humpin’”

She scrunched her nose up at the comment though it didn’t fail to pull a giggle out of her, the sound beautiful to his ears after how dreadful the night had gone. “A thorough one huh?”

“Aye, I’m no’ one to disappoint, Hen.” He reassured her his lips pressing to hers the kiss soft.

She returned the kiss not shocked as it grew impassioned with little time. It was a trend she’d noticed with their latest kisses. It was far too easy to get lost in the feel of his lips against hers.

They closed their eyes, easily getting lost in one another the roller coaster of emotions of the night spilling out through their lips. They both found themselves chasing a feeling of security and adoration after the events of tonight. 

She pressed a hand to his cheek, his hands sliding placing at her sides pulling her closer to him.

She couldn’t help but to get the sense that he was pouring all of his reassurances about what he’d heard tonight and his promises to continue to adore her and protect her in the kisses.

His mouth coaxed hers open with no effort, his tongue sliding across hers; she was always happy to allow him to dominate the kisses. He was far too great of a kisser to not fully allow him to take the reins. She had found that even with as headstrong as she was, she was perfectly happy to let him take control. 

His hands roamed her body, apparently unsatisfied with staying stationary at her waist. She placed a hand on the back of his head, messing his short hair, her other hand stroking his jawline. 

She let out a soft moan as he took a chance turning them just enough to rest against the sofa he found a place hovering over her.

She parted her thighs, an approving groan leaving his lips against the kisses as he found his place between her parted thighs.

She moaned a hot wash of lust sliding over her like a caress as he began to rock against her clearly intentending on giving her a preview of that Glaswegian humping he was teasing her about.

The fabric of the denim of their jeans felt far too thick at the moment and she was overwhelmed with the desire to rid them both of the offending fabric. It was a sin to have such a thick fabric between the perfect friction she knew they were capable of building. 

She gasped her hands sliding underneath his kutte caressing his back through his shirt. She couldn’t help but to feel frustrated by how many layers he seemed to wear. He could do with far less of them in her opinion, especially at this moment.

She was surprised as he moved his lips from hers pressing them down her jawline down to her neck. He nipped at the delicate skin quick to follow the love bites with soft kisses and gentle swipes of his tongue. 

She whimpered disappointed as he pulled back from her, his eyes no longer dark with anger but a distinct hint of lust and longing. He spoke an idea entering his mind. “Do you trust me, Hen?”

The words came to her so suddenly she was surprised that she didn't have to take a moment to consider what he was asking her. It seemed that none of the voices in the back of her head that usually taunted her about what she was falling into with SAMCRO were present at the moment. “Yes.”

He moved from her, she frowning a little confused as he stood up, his hand reaching out to hers.

She expected him to pull her up from the sofa to join him but instead pulled her only into a sitting position. 

He got her to turn in her seat before he stepped between her legs. She frowned even more confused as he got down on his knees in front of her. He pressed his lips to hers not giving her long to contemplate what his plan was.

She returned the kiss with enthusiasm, a low disappointed whine leaving her as his lips parted from hers. He spoke a low chuckle leaving him the comment more to himself than to her. “Greedy, Love.”

He pressed his lips down her neck not giving her long to focus on the comment, his lips pressing soft sucking kisses into her skin. She had a feeling if he hadn’t already given her a successful hickey then he was going to do it quite soon. 

He placed his hands on her sides, slowly sliding them under her top. His hands caressing her warm skin making her shiver ever so slightly at the contrast of his warm hands and the cold of his biker rings. His hands were rough from working in the garage at TM Auto, and his other activities with the Sons most likely, but his touch remained soft and full of reverence. 

She gasped as he began to pull the top up, his lips parting from her neck, his voice gentle waiting for her response to proceed with pulling her top up too high. “This okay, Hen?”

She nodded her head he fast to speak again. “I need words, Love.”

She felt her heart flutter with adoration when she realized what he was doing; waiting for her to give him the go ahead. 

He recalled her previous comment about Gunner not exactly respecting consent. It was so obvious that he was making it clear that nothing he planned on doing with her tonight was going to be done without enthusiastic consent from her.

She found the words it hitting her she was right to tell him she trusted him. “Yes, please.”

He pulled the shirt up and over her head a low appreciative groan leaving his lips as the sight of her lace covered breasts. The bra was soft pink and sweet looking just like the pink of the converse he’d spotted on her feet more than once and the soft pink of her nails he’d noticed that first day the Sons had visited her downstairs at the Funeral Home.

He was tempted to unfasten the bra and reveal what lay under the delicate looking lace, but held back quickly deciding he wanted to take his time with her and what he had planned for them both.

He spoke the words soft. “Fuckin perfect breasts, Hen.”

She felt a soft gasp leave her knowing it was not the first time a man had made an attempt to comment on her assets, but she was quite certain no man had ever sounded so certain of his praise.

She had a distinct feeling that Chibs Telford wasn’t just feeding her empty bedroom talk.

He pressed his lips to hers moving them eagerly down her chin and down the expanse of her throat. He pressed soft adoring kisses to her skin, she closing her eyes sinking back into the sensation.

The rough scratch of his facial hair tickled against her skin. His lips were slightly chapped. But the kisses were so gentle. It felt as though he was certain if he kissed her too hard she might shatter underneath him.

He pressed his lips down to the cleavage he’d so shamelessly admired more times than he could count. His kisses remained adoring and sweet working more soft noises from her.

He groaned against the plush feel of her cleavage and the scratch of the lace covering the breasts he’d been so fast to compliment. 

The more base part of his brain wanted to rip the bra right off her. He wanted to bury his face between her breasts. He wanted to suckle her nipples, making the little buds harden to a point. He wanted to suck love bites into the delicate skin of her breasts. He wanted to unfasten his belt and yank his jeans and boxers down. He wanted to slide his quickly waking cock between the valley of her breasts before cumming down into her open mouth or better yet along her skin marking her with his seed.

He shoved the thought from his mind though it did not fail to work a moan from him. He silently shoved back his hormones telling himself that tonight would not be about his pleasure.

There would be plenty of time for him to reach his own gratification with her body. Tonight was going to be about her. He was determined to worship her the way she deserved.

She giggled as he buried his head against her breasts, rubbing his face against them, a low hum leaving him. The action of motorboating her was unexpected but did make the act of what he seemed to be leading up to feel playful and light.

She wasn’t sure if she’d ever felt something this light and adoring with any other man.

He pulled his head reluctantly from her breasts pressing his lips down further sliding them along her torso. 

She sighed, sinking further into the touch still unable to get over how gentle the kisses to her skin remained. She giggled as his body moved at a somewhat awkward angle, bumping into the coffee table behind him, the glasses of bourbon sloshing a little. He spoke a low noise of frustration leaving him. “Bleedin’ table.”

His frustration with the odd angle didn’t last long before he spoke, his hands sliding along the button of her jeans. His voice remained soft, his breath warm against her skin, he toying with the button to her jeans. “We okay to lose these, Hen? Talk to me, Love.”

She found her voice nodding her head frantically. “Yes, we’re okay.”

He moved slowly unbuttoning the jeans and lowering the zipper. She lifted her hips up obediently as he placed his hands at the hem of her jeans pulling the dark denim down her body.

The jeans slid down her legs, he tossing them aside. She felt all too exposed in front of him and suddenly wished she’d chosen a more flattering pair of panties than the simple lilac cotton panties she’d worn. 

She didn’t have too long to worry that the choice wasn’t the most seductive as Chibs spoke his voice once again so full of awe. “Gorgeous, Hen. Mos’ perfect sigh’ I’ve ever seen, Mo ghràidh.” 

She didn’t have long to question the unfamiliar words he’d ended the comment with his lips pressing to her thighs, his facial hair tickling her skin enough to work a giggle from her lips, the action putting a smile on his lips.

He worked slowly pressing his lips to the soft skin of her thighs, not minding the awkward angle he had to bend his body in to perform this action with her sitting on the sofa.

He had a feeling any odd cricks he might develop in his neck would be well worth it.

He pressed his lips to both thighs before delicately pressing them along her hips. She gasped as he pressed his lips against her center. He pressed soft kisses through the cotton fabric, a moan leaving him as he realized just how damp the panties had grown.

He spoke his voice an appreciative growl. “I barely even touched ya an’ yer already so wet fer me, Hen.”

She moaned the comment making her cheeks flush from more than arousal. She couldn't find it in her to be too embarrassed at her body’s reaction to him. She spoke making her wants clear. “Take my panties off, Filip.”

He moaned his cock throbbing against the confines of his jeans at the demand. It was beyond a clear enthusiastic consent he’d been requesting from her from the moment they’d started this.

He obeyed his fingers sliding under the fabric she lifted her hips once again helping him slide the fabric from her body.

He moaned, tossing the fabric aside he focused less on them and more focused on what lay below them.

He groaned at the sight of her his cock throbbing all the more persistently. He spoke his voice a low moan. “Fuckin’ beautiful sigh’. Never seen somethin’ so perfect.”

She felt her cheeks flush all the darker knowing in the past when a guy she particularly liked had her this exposed she would be tempted to press her legs together and hide herself from his gaze.

Chibs hands on her thighs showed her though that he had little intention of even allowing her to think of hiding her center from him.

She was relieved that she’d recently thought to take care of her bikini line though she did it at home. She might occasionally get her legs waxed professionally, but the idea of allowing anyone to professionally wax such a sensitive area of her body made her feel beyond awkward.

So, she groomed herself using a razor made for the process to shave her bikini line and the occasional wax strip. She took care of everything in a warm bath carefully taking care of the act of grooming. She kept things neat and trimmed, not ever having been one to want to wax off everything completely.

She’d had a few boyfriends in the past comment on any sign of pubic hair with disgust as though somehow hair on her body was any more disgusting than hair on their body. 

She was relieved that Chibs did not seem to mind the fact that she didn’t care to go for a brazilian wax. The look of lust in his eyes told her that he was not one to turn his nose up at the slightest hint of pubic hair. 

He moved at the best angle for this, encouraging her to slide her body down the sofa and place her legs over his shoulders putting him at a closer angle to her soaked center. 

He spoke his voice low and need filled. “Let me eat this pussy, Hen. Wanna make ya feel so good.”

She nodded her head the words that left her a soft gasp. “Please, Filip.”

The permission was all the inspiration he needed for him to bury his face against her center. He ran his tongue slowly through her wet folds, running them from her perineum up to her clit. 

He gently lapped at her, taking his time clearly enjoying himself. He was overtaken about how absolutely soaked she felt. 

It was a massive ego boost to realize that he was drawing this reaction from her. He’d dreamed about how wet she could get for him from the moment he’d first realized he wanted her. He was quite certain if he didn’t have his mouth currently occupied he’d exclaim how lucky he felt in this moment to have her and how badly he’d been dreaming of it. 

He’d never imagined that day he’d first met her at the crematorium that he’d have the privilege of eating her pussy. He’d hoped he would have the opportunity to romance her and had dreamed of what that might entail. Reality made his dreams pale in comparison though. 

He could admit that he was currently overtaken with the thought that this was as close to heaven as he ever might get. He was certain he could die happy here with his face buried against her wet center knowing he was the one pleasing her.

He was also capable of admitting that he had always loved giving oral though it was not a privilege he had with many of his bedroom partners.

He’d never been fond of going down on the croweaters without some form or protection. He was less than inclined to do anything sexual with them without protection. Dental dams could often be frustrating to deal with though so he rarely went down on the women who were all too happy to bed any member of SAMCRO. It was because they were so willing to bed any member of SAMCRO, that Chibs found himself unwilling to engage with anything sexual with them without a condom or dental dam. He was not about to risk getting an STD in exchange for some quick pleasure.

Given his lack of opportunity to eat pussy, he was almost worried he’d lost his touch. Judging by Y/N’s reaction though, he felt confident in saying he still had it.

She placed a hand over one of the hands he had pressed to her thigh gently caressing it.

He moved his hand placing it over hers linking their fingers together as continued to lap at her with enthusiasm. 

She pressed a hand to the back of his head, her fingers digging into his scalp, the action working a low growl from him, the noise vibrating against her center. 

She whined as he used his free hand to gently press between his mouth and her center. He found the hood over her clit pushing it back gently, his tongue sliding over the sensitive bud the action causing a high pitched whine to leave her, her thighs shaking at the action.

He alternated between lapping at her center flattening his tongue , suckling the lips of her labia and gently suckling at her clit. He found a rhythm that made her gasp and tremble against him. He spent a good long while repeating the routine more soft moans and whines of his name leaving her the sound spurring him on. 

She felt his name slide from her lips, the noise feeling more like a prayer as she soaked up his ministrations. 

She was quite sure that no one had ever eaten her out with this much skill nor this much enthusiasm. She was almost certain that even if he lacked the skill that the enthusiasm would make up for it all on its own. She was pleased to find that ability and eagerness seemed to be hand in hand when it came to his talents in this act. 

Being in this moment with him easily made how horrible tonight had been easily started to fade so far from her mind. The only thing she could focus on was the man pleasing her and how she was sure she could never be without him.

When he’d first shown her a hint of interest she’d been so certain she wanted him to get lost. Now, she was sure she never wanted to lose him. She was sure she would do whatever it took to keep him by her side. The realization that she’d do anything for him did not frighten her. It seemed so obvious that she’d do anything for him. It felt like a simple fact. It was as though she was explaining that the sky was up and she needed oxygen to survive. 

He kept his gaze locked on her as he pleased her, staring up at her body taking in how stunning she was; her skin flushed, her lips parted, her head fallen back. She was by far the most stunning woman he’d ever laid eyes on and somehow she was here with him of all people. He was determined to keep her here by his side. He’d do anything for her. He knew he’d proven that by his declaration that he’d kill for her tonight. 

She gasped as he began to focus all the more on her clit, the bud growing more swollen the more her arousal spiked. The words slid from her she unable to stop herself. “Feels too fucking good, Baby, please. Please, Baby.”

Chibs groaned against her, the praise making his cock throb so violently it was almost painful. He was tempted to reach down and at least unfasten his belt and jeans to give him some relief. He reminded himself that tonight was for her though. He would ignore his aching erection if it meant focusing on pleasing her. 

He kept up his attention on her clit realizing that if he kept it up she would reach her end sooner than later.

She gasped her back arching as her end became closer and closer within grasp. His name worked from her lips, the praise leaving her. “So fucking good Filip. Too good to me, Baby.” 

He moaned against her wanting to exclaim that it was her who was too good to him. He wanted to exclaim that she was probably too good for a man like him and he was thankful and in awe she wanted him. His desire to push her over the edge kept him from voicing this though his attention remained on her clit.

He gently suckled at the bundle of nerves, the action making a low curse leave her, her back arching all the more.

She spoke her voice a soft gasp voicing her impending fall. “So close, Please, Filip.”

Her hand grasped on to his all the tighter her nails digging into his skin, her thighs beginning to quiver the end so close now.

A low tingle of pleasure began to develop in her rising and building within her, her body growing tense. Her fingers grasped onto the back of his head tugging at his short hair, the action working a hiss from him though he didn’t allow it to distract him.

Her body twitched her thighs locking around his head as she felt herself slide over the edge, the orgasm hitting her hard. Cries of his name left her lips along with the pet name she’d given him tonight Baby.

He groaned, working her through her orgasm eagerly lapping at her wet center a pleased noise leaving him at the knowledge that he’d pleased her this much. A smug voice in the back of his head exclaimed that this was all for him.

He kept his tongue flattened gently running it through her center as her body grew slack as she came down from her fall.

She whined her body jerking against the action. It was clear she had become oversensitive and the act was going from being pleasurable to feeling overwhelming.

He reluctantly parted from her center gazing up at her as he wiped the dampness of her arousal from his lips and facial hair.

He pressed his lips to her stomach moving them up her body not minding how clammy her skin had grown under his treatment.

She seemed to be pulled from her post-orgasmic haze as his lips pressed to hers, she finding the taste of herself on his lips strange but not entirely unappealing. 

She moved her hand down his chest sliding it down his torso slowly as they continued to kiss.

He groaned as she slid her hand over the obvious bulge in his jeans giving his erection a light squeeze.

He was tempted to allow her to proceed. He was tempted to let her please him the way he’d pleased her just moments ago.

He resisted though reluctantly pulling from her grasp. He spoke his voice reassuring as he noticed her frown, she fearing she’d made some misstep. “I wan’ tha’ more than ya know Mo ghràidh. Tonigh’ ain’ bout me though, Hen. What I jus’ did was all fer ya, Hen. Tonigh’ is jus’ fer ya, Lass. It’s bout me showin’ ya jus’ how ya deserve to be treated.”

She was certain her heart might overflow with adoration at the words. She was tempted to insist that she wanted to give him pleasure. Tonight was about her but she wanted to make him feel good too.

She kept the words within though certain he meant business. It seemed he had no intention of worrying about getting himself off tonight. She felt her heart swell at the last part of his statement. He wanted to show her how she deserved to be treated.

She pressed her lips to his the kiss chaste considering what they’d just done. She spoke her voice soft. “My sweet man.”

She pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, unable to stop herself from saying it. “You have given me more than I deserve.”

“Nah, no’ enough.” He insisted making her heart swell for him all the more.

She pressed another kiss to his cheek, the words that left her pleading. “Stay with me tonight. Sleep here with me.”

He pressed his lips to hers as he spoke knowing she didn’t need to plead with him for him to give in to the offer. “Aye, Hen. Don’ wanna rest my head anywhere else.”

He wrapped his arms around her holding her against him feeling the rage he’d felt tonight fade too far for him to grasp.

He closed his eyes holding her tight promising himself he’d find more ways to show her what she deserved. He wanted to do what it took to be worthy of her trust and her desire to have him sleep by her side.

He let his mind marinate over the details she’d given him about her past, a promise crossing his mind. No one would ever mistreat her again. He made a silent promise to himself that she would never know that pain again. She would never have a reason to fall into chaos to escape pain. No one would ever harm her as long as he was around.

He would do whatever it took to keep her safe by his side. He would do what it took to make sure that he deserved to be by her side.

[jeanjaquesrousseou]

The body is wasting too many resources in trying to get oxygen to those cells who were born further from the veins. I propose cutting on spending for the circulatory system, so that those in need work for a better place in the body and to get rid of all those lazy cells who take from working cells who got to where they are by moving contrary to what the left might say.

[lusecretroom]

my woman🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️

[applejongho]

just now realizing san screamed "ok captain!" right before guerrilla at coachella and u can only imagine the stress I am under 🫶

[frozen-orbit]

Renegades characters as one out of context Taylor Swift lyric

Ruby: "The life of the party, you're showing off again. And I'd roll my eyes and then you'd pull me in. I'm not much for dancing, but for you, I did."

Oscar: "I always forget to tell you I love you. I loved you from the very first day."

Danna: "Do you believe me now?"

Narcissa: "I don't really wanna fight, 'cause nobody's gonna win."

Max: "You're a bandit like me. Eyes full of stars."

Maggie: "Knew her when I was young, reconnected when we were a little bit older."

Callum: "You showed me something that I couldn't see. You opened my eyes and you made me believe."

Genissa: "Women like hunting witches too, doing your dirtiest work for you."

Winston: "Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all."

Honey: "I know they said the end is near, but I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love."

Leroy: "Remember when I pulled up and said 'get in the car'".

Phobia: "Made you run and hide like a scared little boy."

Ace Anarchy: "Now he sits on his throne in his palace of bones praying to his greed."

Lady Indomitable: "So they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst."

Millie: "And so I changed your name and any real defining clues."

Didn't include Nodrian cause they have their own post 😁

[ravennaortiz]

Ravennas Randoms Juice #2

" You are my sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey"

Juice couldn't help but smile as he watched you sing to his newborn baby girl. He loved nothing more than watching the two of you together. You guys had only been home from the hospital for two days and he already had at least a thousand photos and videos of you three together. "Looks like Daddy's home" you cooed to your daughter as you caught sight of him.

"I can take her while you eat and take a nap Angel" stated Juice as he stepped into the nursery and took your daughter into his arms as he took up rocking her and singing to her.

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you"

*Songs lyrics are not mine*

[fandomficsnstuff]

Old Lady - 4

(Warnings: Some angst and then some SMUT and then a little fluff at the end)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were currently taking stock of the alcohol left after you and Happy raided the pantry, so to speak. You were currently counting bottles when the door slammed shut, your body flinching and you turned around, thinking it was the wind from some open window or maybe someone accidentally pushed it shut as they walked by. But no. It was closed on purpose and it was closed by the man currently in the room with you, your heart racing as you looked up at him before tearing your eyes away, turning back to the bottle and picking up your notepad and pencil. “(Y/N)-”

“We’re uh, we’re a little low on vodka so I should really go out and-” you cut yourself off as you felt gentle hands grasp your hips, his chest against your back and you actually felt yourself shaking, like a leaf, and he felt it. “Are ye scared ‘f me?” he asked softly and you couldn’t help but scoff, gently shaking your head as you looked down, eyes closed. “No, Filip, I’m not scared of you…” you admitted softly, feeling his hands carefully tightening around your hips “then why’re ya shakin’?”

“I-I-... I-I don’t even know” you admitted quietly, tears forming in your eyes as you felt his hands snake around your body and it took every ounce of strength you had to turn around and walk out of his grip, a hand on his chest to keep him apart. “Filip-”

“It’s ‘Filip’ now?”

“Chibs… I-... you’re married… you clearly love your wife… I-I know you can’t exactly return home but-”

“This is my home, love-”

“You’re married to a woman you still love, Filip…” you pointed out quietly, Chibs sighing softly “I don’t love ‘er-”

“No? Then why aren’t you divorced then? The way she held your hand in that hospital-”

“I didn’t know she was there until I woke up-”

“It’s not something someone does to just anybody, Filip… the way she looked at you… I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, and I understand that she’s the mother of your child, but you care for her more than you’ll admit to and I-... I feel stupid, I felt horrible seeing her in that hospital room with you, holding your hand like you were everything to her! I love you, Chibs, I think I’ll always love you, no matter what, but you need this to settle, I can’t-... it’s not a demand or choice I’m giving you, Filip… but I can’t be with someone who loves someone else, it feels wrong…”

“Are yer ashamed of bein’ with me?”

“What??”

“Happy says yer ashamed-”

“Happy should learn to keep his mouth shut” you snapped, staring up at Chibs with tears in your eyes before you forced yourself to look down. “It was meant to be a private conversation” you muttered to yourself, Chibs sighing softly, reaching for you but you moved around him, reaching for the door when Chibs turned you around and pushed you against it, his body nearly pressed up against yours as you stared up at him with wide eyes. “I don’t love Fiona” he stated softly, his hands cupping your face, staring down at you lovingly “Filip-” you were cut short as he pressed his lips against yours, tears slipping down your cheeks when you closed your eyes, arms wrapping around him as the kiss got more hungry. God, you missed this. You missed the way his hands ran down your frame, the way they gripped your hips roughly and pulled you against him, the way he pressed you against the door. It wasn’t long until you felt his hands place themselves on your ass, groping the flesh roughly, tearing a moan from your lips that he easily swallowed, his tongue invading your mouth, fighting for dominance with yours. You whimpered quietly as he pulled you by your ass, pulling you against his chest as his lips moved down your jaw and neck, sucking marks on your collarbone.

You gently wrapped your leg around his waist, his hand clutching your thigh, grasping at the flesh as though he’s been waiting to do this for a long, long time, the thought making you smile blissfully, your hands threaded through his hair as he kissed down your chest, practically ripping your shirt off of you, your back arching off the wall and into his face as he licked and sucked around your nipples, gently biting the flesh. You felt tears form in your eyes, holding him so close like this, his lips over your flesh, your arms around his neck, your leg wrapped around his hips. When Chibs felt and heard your breath stutter, he pulled back, seeing the tears in your eyes, your hands cupping his scarred cheeks without hesitation. He was so close you could feel his lips brush against yours as you spoke.

“I love you, Filip… I love you so fucking much…” you whispered, Chibs leaning down and kissing you. The kiss wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t hungry, it was soothing. Comforting as his lips moved against yours slowly, taking his time in showing you just how much your words meant to him. The only reason he parted from you was because you both needed to breathe, the tears still in your eyes as you looked up at him, unsure if you even wanted him to say something right now. “I love yer, love. Fiona’s the mother of mah child, but you… you’re the woman I love” he whispered, your lower lip trembling as he stroked some hair behind your ear, the strand having fallen in front of your face, his hand cupping your cheek lovingly “I may have once loved her, but Leannan, I love you. I’m gettin’ tha’ divorce” he whispered, your heart both soaring and plummeting as you softly shook your head at him “Filip-”

“I’m gettin’ that divorce, so I can put a ring on yer finger, be with ya properly” he added softly, you couldn’t help but smile, your hand covering your mouth as you grinned, hands trembling as tears threatened to spill down your cheeks “are you-... Chibs are- are you-”

“Don’t have a ring yet, love, but aye, I am” he stated with a smirk and without another word you flung yourself at him, kissing him passionately, arms wrapped around him, Chibs eagerly repaying the kiss, even as you parted from him to breathe, he tried chasing your lips with his own, making you smile at him “take me home, Chibby” you whispered, Chibs chuckled briefly “guess that’s a yes?” he asked smugly, a chuckle leaving your lips as you smirked at him “take me home, and I might say yes” you teased, Chibs gently putting you down, opening the door before picking you up, your legs wrapped around his hips as he carried you out of the clubhouse and towards his bike, your eyes meeting Jax over Chibs’ shoulder, a smile on your lips, tears still in your eyes as you smiled at him, Jax giving a brief nod as he smiled at the sight of you so happy. Chibs practically kicked the door open, carrying you to his bike, a laugh spilling from your lips as you clung to him desperately, your eyes closing in joy at finally holding him like this. Chibs placed you on the ground only so you could get on the bike with him, your arms wrapped tightly around his chest all the way home, the house you shared with him, your real home.

As you arrived home, Chibs picked you up bridal style once you were both inside, his arms wrapped around you as his lips found your lips as he headed straight for the bedroom, carefully dropping you on the bed, watching you bounce as you smiled up at him. He bent down and kissed you softly, so soft you barely felt it, and when he leaned away, you ran your hands down his chest, staring up at him with hooded eyes as you undid his kutte, slowly peeling the clothes from his body as he did the same with you. Once you were both naked you scooted up the bed, Chibs following, slotting himself between your legs that you wrapped around his hips, his lips back on yours as he ran his hands up and down your body, your arms wrapped around him, hands running along his back, over the tattoo that covered his back, the reaper who had introduced him to you to begin with, the reapers of Charming having happened to enter that café where you were, eyes meeting, unable to look away from each other. You smiled at the memory, eyes closed as you held onto him, moaning quietly as you felt his hands and lips all over you, he was about to move down your body when you held onto him, his eyes meeting yours with slight confusion. “I just want you, Chibs… close” you whispered, Chibs nodding as he met your lips, a hand between your bodies as he ran a hand over your slit, surprised to find you dripping already and without being prompted further he slowly slid into you, your mouth open in a moan as you reveled in the feeling of him inside you again, your arms scratching and clutching at his back as he instantly sped up his pace, his face hid in your neck, peppering kisses along the skin, until.

You flipped the two of you over when he was caught off guard, a smirk on your lips as you looked down at him, your hands running up his chest, over his shoulders, down his arms to his hands on your hips. You took his hands, leading them up to his side as you leaned over him, your fingers interlocking with his as you began to slowly rock your hips. You moaned against his lips as he struggled to allow you this moment of control and dominance over him, yet it made your heart flutter, how he willingly let you do something you rarely did. You leaned back up, hands still clutching his and you used it as an anchor as you swirl your hips around before bouncing on him even harder, eyes closed as you listened intently to his moans and grunts. Suddenly you felt him let go of your hands, your eyes opening as he sat up, holding you close against him, sitting up with you as he guided your hips in motion with his own, his cock twitching inside of you as your lips brushed against each other as you continued to bounce on him, his cock thrusting in and out of you at a slow and passionate pace. As much as you loved the rough, hard, fast and erotic experimental sex with Chibs, being fucked by him with someone watching, his hand on your throat, squeezing lightly, this, this was very different in the best way possible. It was intimate, loving, definitely the definition of ‘lovemaking’. You tipped your head back and moaned as his cock hit that soft spot inside of you, Chibs’ lips immediately sucking bruises and marks onto your neck and shoulders, your hands clawing at his shoulders to keep him as close as possible. The intimacy of it all slowly brought you closer to the edge, your hips begging to be more erratic, as was his own, the two of you still completely in tune with each other as you chased not just your own end, but each other’s as well, his lips sloppily tracing up your neck, over your throat, up your jaw as he began to pull you down on him more roughly, his grunts and moans let you know how close he really was, your head tipping forward again, your forehead against his as your brows furrowed, the knot in your stomach tightening, the coil being pulled impossibly tighter and caught completely off guard, you came. Your entire body shook as your orgasm washed over you, eyes rolling to the back of your head, mouth open in a silent moan as he continued to thrust in and out of you, hips erratic and sloppy until finally, finally he stilled inside of you, the two of you panting as you both basked in the afterglow of probably the most intimate sex the two of you had ever had. And it was amazing. It wasn’t rough, it wasn’t needy, it wasn’t heated and it wasn’t what any of you had done before, but it was in some way much better than you could ever imagine.

As you both slowly returned to reality, you felt Chibs leave delicate kisses along your throat and shoulders, your hands on his shoulders relaxing their grip, crescent moon shapes left on his flesh after your nails digging into his shoulders. His forehead rested against your shoulder as he caught his breath, his hands running along your spine softly, tracing the flesh with his fingertips, delicate and tender. “Tha gaol agam ort, tha gaol agam ort cho mòr tha e goirt a bhith às aonais(I love you, I love you so much it hurts to be without you)” he whispered softly, although you couldn’t understand scottish gaelic, you knew what he meant. You smiled softly, threading your hands through his hair, fingers barely touching the scar in the back of his head, a light tug making him raise his head from your shoulder, your eyes locked as you gave him a small, giddy smile. “Yes, I’ll marry you” you whispered softly before kissing him again. “I hate ter break the moment love, but we need to get back to the clubhouse, shite’s goin’ down ‘n I don’ want you ‘round here, unprotected” he whispered, a small nod leaving you as you let out a brief chuckle “okay… I love you” you whispered, kissing him softly before moving off of him, the feeling of him slipping out of you made you both moan but you left for the bathroom to clean up, knowing that Chibs was playing down the severity of ‘shit going down’, otherwise you’d happily go for round two.

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You knew he had gone to see her, he told you, yet your palms were sweaty and you could feel your heart race, eyes locked onto the bar counter as you stared at nothing in particular, the crowd of people barely doing anything to filter out that nagging voice in your head that was spouting theories as to what he was talking with her about… doing with her…

“He won’t do it, you know” you flinched at the voice, looking at Gemma as she smirked down at you, ever the confident woman, a shaky breath leaving your lips as you looked back down at the bar counter. “How do you know?” you asked softly, voice wavering, even as Gemma confidently sat next to you on a barstool “I’ve known Chibs for a long time, sweetheart, he wouldn’t do anything with her, he loves you” Gemma stated softly, yet you closed your eyes as you let out a shaky breath, a bittersweet smile on your lips. “How would I know?” you asked softly, Gemma tilting her head at you, giving you a sad smile as you looked up at her “that shit in your head? That’s just noise, sweetie. Men need to own their pussy, but women, us Old Ladies, we need to own their dicks” she stated bluntly, managing to make you briefly scoff in amusement. “And you’re owning yours. I’m surprised he hasn’t knocked you up yet with how in love with you he is” she added with a smirk, amused as she could tell you were getting flustered “I’m on birth control” you hissed, Gemma chuckling with amusement “don’t worry about him, sweetheart, he knows who you are, you’re his Old Lady, ring or not on that finger of yours” she added softly, your lips stretching into a smile as you looked up at her, and she could tell you were trying to hide how excited you were “actually… he asked me to marry him” you admitted quietly, Gemma smirking as she leaned closer, nudging your shoulder with her own “told you, you own his dick-”

“Gemma!” you tried scolding but she just smirked at you, making you laugh quietly as she wrapped her arm around you, pulling you against her side “I’m so happy for you sweetie” she stated softly and you leaned into her side, eyes closed as you sighed softly.

[bits-of-wit]

Sons of Aspirin : Arthritis Chapter

[wardback]

I just love how buddys verse flows in take the wheel

Its one of those bits of songs just always sitting in my brain