#LZ Answerer

[rallamajoop]

Anyway, here's Ethan finishing off monster!Heisenberg with a light-saber.

[dunderbread]

We should give Jimmy expired milk. He also looks like expired milk.

whoever said he looks like if rancid butter smell was a person was right

[kulturegroupie]

Did Jimmy really have an ED?

hi anon! i'm no one to diagnose people but it's widely known in the zep fandom that he did struggle with eating throughout the entirety of the 70's and early 80's as well. charlotte used to cook him big meals to help him gain weight but he used to leave the table after just a few bites, and there's that one april 1977 interview where he proudly admits to the interviewer that he hasn't eaten in 3 days. Reddit user Revolennon explains the rest:

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Sep 18th

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1. Hi! I don't know if this has been asked before but I'm looking for a fic. It had multiple chapters and might have been mostly from LWJ POV. (spoilers for the fic basically) I only remember clearly that in one of the later chapters it is revealed that WWX took the fall for JC who had set off a cigar fire. Thank you!

FOUND! Nursery Rhymes by manaika (M, 96k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Inexperienced WWX, Experienced LWJ, Reconciliation, Budding Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Unreliable Narrator, Medical Inaccuracies, Slow Burn, Past Character Death, Childhood Trauma, Found Family, Past Injury, Nurse! WWX, Doctor! LXC, Teacher! LWJ, Character With A Heart Condition (Major), Past Incarceration (Major Character), Underage Character With Leukemia (Minor))

NOT FOUND! Insert Coin Now for Extra Life by TriviasFolly (E, 201k, wangxian, modern, ABO, Intersex Omegas, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Marriage contract au, Twitch Streamer WWX, fluff and smut, caring for other while sick, Possessive LWJ, Rare Male Omegas, Pack Dynamics, Sugar Baby vibes, Eventual Smut, Brief mention of lwj/others)

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2. hi - apologies if you have answered this and i missed it, or please ignore if i haven't waited long enough! i really appreciate all you guys do! I'm looking for a longish fic - cloud recesses classes WY gets whipped after JZ/JY engagement broken, recovers in CR while creating talismans. Wens attack and WY explodes heads. ACE JZ, badass Madame Jin, NH sets up JY/NM, WY grabbed by WR, LZ comes to save him and they kill WR. I've tried searching hashtags, but just can't find it -can you help? @oldoni

FOUND? 🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending)

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3. Hello Mojo!! I've always used your blog to find missing fics, but this'll be the first time I send in a an ask!!

I read this fic a long time ago and forgot to bookmark it, the premise was Jiang Yanli was engaged to Lan Zhan but she was in love with Jin Zixuan. So Wei Ying, doing what he does best and offers to take her place.

He's invented a talisman that changes his body to look like Yanlis, the catch is that it affects his health everything he uses the talisman until it eventually hurts him to the point of near death. And he falls in love with Lan Zhan along the way.

Can you help me find this fic?

FOUND? 🔒 You Free Your Mind In Your Androgyny by retired (misbehavingvigilante) (E, 368k, WangXian, JC & JYL & WWX, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bodyswap, Crossdressing, Dysfunctional Family, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Transphobia, Self-Worth Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans WWX)

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4. Hiii there was a fic where wei ying was chased by a dog and took shelter in lan zhans house. i remember wy having a panic attack and lz calming him, and ig he had a cat called bunny?? idk this was on the first chp. and it was a long fic ig?? Anyways hope you can find it!! @for13years-i-play-inquiry-foryou

FOUND? leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation)

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5. Hii I am desperately looking for a fic. It is around cloud recess time and wwx is a genuis and gets recognized by the Lans and they treat him well. I remember super specific stuff like there was an elder who blew something up to reroute a river because he needed the water for fire savety and he is kind of mentoring wwx. And some of the elders imply to lwj to court wwx. And there is a kind of scholar equivalent to a discussion converence and the Jiang scholars get so much shit from the Lans for not supporting wwx talent because he is like a once in a generation genius and they usually have systems in place to support people like that but the Jiangs were afraid of madam yu i guess. Thats most of what I remember. I really hope it still exists somewhere... @frankensteins-gendercrisis

FOUND?🔒in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Cloud Recesses, LWJ & NHS Friendship, Developing Relationship, POV LWJ, Minor Injuries, Autistic LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aka the Madam Yu warning, Genius WWX, Light Angst And Hurt/Comfort, WWX Protection Squad, Gusu Lan Sect, Slow Burn, Protective LWJ, LWJ-centric)

FOUND? 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 859k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement)

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6. Hi! I'm looking for a f/f wangxian fic, I don't remember much about the plot but I do know in it wwx bullies young lwj and calls her a lesbian. They later meet as adults and wwx is really trying to atone for her actions. Thank you!! @blessrainydays

FOUND? Out of your system by mimilamp (E, 20k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, Rule 63, Sexual Content, Strap-Ons, jealous wwx, lan zhan FUCKS, mention of LWJ/others straight girl WWX, Y E A R N I N G, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

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7. Hello! Here for the fic finder, please. It starts with Wangxian hunting a monster that eats dreams. At some point it catches lwj and puts him into a dream and wwx goes into the dream and sees that in it they are married? Does that ring any bells?

FOUND? Dream of Me by KingdomFlameVIII (E, 11k, WangXian, Mild Horror, Dreams, Dream Sex, Bathing/Washing, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, First Time, Light Bondage, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering)

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8. Hi! I'm looking for a modern au where WWX was a fox that had gotten taken to a sanctuary and he had a faded red ribbon around his neck, it fell off and he got sad about it. It possibly had his name written on the inside of it? Wen Ning either ran the santuary or worked there. WWX might've been cursed to be in a fox form? I can't remember for sure. I thought I'd bookmarked it but can't find it and there's a gazillion fox!wwx fics and I'm not finding it. I can't remember more than that but hopefully someone will know. TIA!

NOT FOUND! in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Minor pining, major shenanigans, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar, and getting subsequently rescued by your crush, there were in fact two beds, but LWJ knows what he's about, Blowjobs, Frottage, switch rights, Scent Kink, mildly telepathic sex, courtship via kittens)

FOUND! Found: Extremely Friendly Fox by wanderingflame (T, 22k, ZhuiLing, WangXian, Modern AU, mild animal injury, Curses, Fluff, Reunions, Fox WWX, Foxxian being a lovable terror, POV Alternating, Modern With Cultivation, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, LWJ wears reading glasses because it's sexy)

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9. Hi can I ask you if you could find me a fanfiction where Wei wuxian keeps doing different ghost games and Lan Zhan keeps interrupting them, the other thing I can remember is that they're both university students and Lan Zhan is responsible for the dormitory.

FOUND?🔒Grandmaster of Demonic Party Games by Trickster_Angel (M, 50k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Crack, Light Angst, Humor, Paranormal, horror, Slow Burn)

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10. Hello! Submitting a request to find a fic, cause i'm honestly at my wit's end.

It was multichapter fic and I'm pretty much sure it was finished. It's basically story, where Wei Wuxian transmigrates from modern times into cultivator setting, summoned by mistake, by his counter-part here and basically hijacked their body? And was then promptly attacked by Lan Wangji, who thought it was original

In cultivator setting, Wei Wuxian was also known as a Yilling Laozu - ancient and mad with grief over Lans killing his husband few hundreds years ago. The present Lan Wangji is reincarnation of said husband, but due Yilling Laozu Wei Wuxian not letting him go, he couldn't properly reincarnate or something? Like - he is still man's husband, Lan Wangji, but a little bit different and that stops him from falling in love with YL WWX?

(There was also something about how this Wei Ying was summoned, because Lan Wangji from that universe probably died, before they had a chance to meet.)

Anyway, after getting (i think?) stabbed by Lan Wangji he got taken to Cloud Recess, then he somehow winded up in Lotus Pier, growing close with Jiang siblings. Also, Wei Wuxian from the modern times was some kind of doctor or inventor (?) and he tried bringing some modern solutions there.

I think this think may be quite known, but i tried all the tags i thought that will work and found nothing ://

Thank you very much in advance

FOUND? Old Foreshadows by protos_metazu_ison (M, 15k, WangXian, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, War, Universe Alteration, Sunshot Campaign, Rated For Violence, Timeline What Timeline, Mojo’s post)

FOUND? 🔒 Transverse by Kytrin, Mslead (E, 192k, WangXian, ChengSang, ZhuiLing, ZhenYi, Dimension Travel, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Enemies to Lovers, Transmigration, Past Lives, Canon-Typical Death, Don’t worry - he gets better)

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11. for fic finder, i've read this a few times and suddenly i can't find it- wwx gets taken by a caiyi merchant while he's on his way to dinner with lwj. the merchant is someone wwx had previously gotten along with, so it's a bit of a depressing realization that even this guy hates him.

queue a sinister array, a timely rescue by lwj, and the sobering realization that wwx can't fully escape what he's done in his past life, and it can crop up where he least expects it @stgroversfire

FOUND! Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out? by Iggysassou (E, 13k, WangXian, Married Couple, Post-Canon, mdzs canon rather than cql, 5+1 Things, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Protective wwx, protective lwj)

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12. Hi! This is for fic finder. I'm looking for a fic where sect leader JC returns to Lotus Pier after a trip/night hunt and the junior disciples all clamour towards him. JC then picks one of the youngest disciples who gives a short report and sends them off for training. I think it might be from the pov of someone who accompanied him (LWJ? LXC?) and then I think there's a bit of commentary about the kind of sect leader JC is. I think it's likely some sort of canon divergence or time travel fic, but not sure. Thanks!

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13. hi, i’m looking for a fanfic in which jzx’s death was faked, he was found in the lake (?) by wwx, i remember people thought wwx was dead but lwj managed to find him alive in some village. lwj told jiang yanli to find wwx and after he found jzx, he was told not to sleep in the same room with jyl as she was married woman and it was inappropriate. this fic wasn’t finished

FOUND? Discarded by teawater (E, 178k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dying Lan children, Hurt/Comfort, YL WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, and it's not always dark, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ)

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14. Hi! I’ve been looking for a fic I read a while ago in which WWX designs a talisman (or something) to test blood relationships and finds out he really is JFM’s son. If I remember correctly he’s already left Lotus Pier, I think he finds out with JYL and JC at Cloud Recesses? “This body yet survives” by RoseThorne comes very close but doesn’t have him as JFM’s son. Help please!

I’m pretty sure 14 is a modern era AU and they take a DNA test which reveals the siblings as wwx’s half siblings - can I locate it? Ehhh, of course not unless I get lucky with my history search

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15. I’m looking for a fic that is a modern au, no cultivation, where wwx leaves home or is driven out of his home and loses contact with his sibling and lwj. Fast forward to the future, he’s living somewhere and is with the Wen siblings? I don’t remember how, but somehow lwj finds wwx first, maybe over text? And slowly wwx starts sharing his life again? I feel like maybe wwx had been abused or threatened to never talk to his siblings again. He’s very afraid. I remember Wen Qing was very suspicious of LWJ and protective of wwx. Thanks for your help!

NOT FOUND! clean from the war (your heart fits like a key) by sysrae (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reunions, past xy/wwx, xy is fucked up but not evil because it's a modern AU and I said so, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, past wwx/jfm, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Abuse, Rape Recovery, transphobic violence, Victim Blaming, Past wwx/others, allusions to past self-harm)

FOUND! Love Don't Belong To Me by airinshaw (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern, Getting Together, Kissing, Intercrural Sex, Light Angst, Happy Ending, PTSD, Panic Attack, WWX's canonical self-esteem issues, Canonical Child Abuse, not as dark as the tags imply, Past Relationships mention)

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16. Hello! Thanks in advance for this. I read ff earlier this year, it was post-canon I guess, Wei Wuxian is staying in cloud recesses and Lan wangji is chief cultivator (I guess). once wwx took juniors to night hunt and he kminda knew that someone will come for him, a walking corpse was searching for him specifically. after empathy wwx got to know that the walking corpse is his father. I dont remember anything other than this scene. Please help! @vbhardwaj-reads

FOUND! An Aftermath More Devastating Than The Storm by UneducatedAuthor (Not Rated, 111k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Everyone Loves WWX, The Junior Ensemble Love WWX, Hurt WWX, Protective LWJ, Protective LSZ, WWX Deserves Better, Genius WWX, WWX Protection Squad, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, JC & WWX Reconciliation) Has Wei Changze as a fierce corpse searching for his son

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17. For fic finder, I remember it was a multichap canon dovergent wangxian fic with inventor wwx. Tho I am not sure if that tag was used. The most notable part of it was Madam Jin bringing evidence of jgs putting his lot in with wrh complete with bills, transactions, correspondences etc. Jgs tries to discredit her by being a misogynist. That's when madam Jin uses a wwx custom binding spell on him and then says "I am a quick study when I want to be" to wwx and then she says "thank you for your instruction" because she learned the spell from jzx who saw wwx teach it to jc in cloud recesses lectures. After that she tells jzx to take the sect leader's seat and there was resistance from jin elders in the same scene and also in other later chapters. It was complete and happy ending I believe for wangxian too @yiling-laozu-is-loml

FOUND? Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (E, 231k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Mutual Pining, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, unreliable narrator, Found Family, First Time, novel canon relationship dynamics)

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18. Hey its my first ask so i don't know if I'm doing it right... I've been trying to find two specific fics really hard but no luck yet. I hope you'd be able to help

A) It was a post-sunshot campaign au..I think someone basically heard wwx getting yelled at by jc and flinching away from his touch. That gives rise to rumours that jc is sexually abusing wwx. Everyone starts pitying wwx and it comes to a head at some sort of banquet..?

B) A post-canon wangxian fluff fic. I think it might've been a 5+1 sort of fic but im not sure. There was one particular scene where wwx is just hanging out with other lan spouses and they are all complaining about their husband but wwx is silent cause lwj treats him really well..After he says so one of the women say "how long will it take your husband to realise if I kill you and take your place?" To which wwx replies "like right away"

I really hope you'll be able to find them

18A)

FOUND? Short Prompts by Vrishchika (M, 40k, WIP, WangXian, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Not JC Friendly, Separate Tags for Each Chapter) chapter 15 I'm sure of it

18B)

FOUND? Life before you was tragic by covalentbonds (Not rated, 4k, wangxian, Fluff and Humor)

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19. Hello! I am trying to find a fix where Wei ying get thrown to burial mound by wen Chao as a child, and then he become the protector of Yiling! He is always covered in shadows when he meet the sects! Can anyone remember the title! It is in AoW but I cannot find it! Help please!🙏 Thanks 😊 Have a wonderful day! @fallingstar77

I don't remember the name of #19 fic, but what I do remember is that it's listed on the amazing Warprize compilation you guys did.

FOUND? 💖 what price is duty, what cost is love by thunderwear (G, 18k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, WWX was never adopted by the Jiang Sect, War Prize, YLLZ WWX, Mutual Pining, First Kiss, First Time, Falling In Love, eventual dramatic confessions, Eventual Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending)

FOUND? Sanctuary by Alineko (T, 45k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiangs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Cultivation Sect Politics, Sunshot Campaign, Overpowered WWX, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei Sect, Sect Leader WWX, Unreliable Narrator LWJ, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Self-Indulgent, Touch-Starved WWX, Different First Meeting, POV Alternating, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags)

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20. Hi, Im looking for a fic that may have been deleted but i'll try here. In it LWJ takes a'yuan away from cloud recesses to raise outside of the sect after WWXs death. He builds a garden with various monuments one of which is a boulder tied down with ropes to represent the Xuanwu. Eventually he senses something and goes to the burial mounds where he drags a reborn WWX from the blood pool. He takes him home to rehabilitate. On the way he stops at an inn to bathe him. Thats all I remember<3

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[relenafanel]

As promised, the threadfic from my Twitter/X account. I just copy/pasted all of it, so the flow might feel a little weird due to the word limit and ~dramatic pauses~ you know the drill.

Modern AU - wangxian, classical musician lwj x idol wwx

Secret fanboy!lwj finds out the family connection to idol wwx.

thread ⤵️

______________

Lan Zhan doesn’t use social media often. He has a professional account that he posts his appearance schedules to, where he follows other musicians of his calibre. His cohort will tag him in posts, some of them professional and some of them personal, but he rarely answers.

His professional bio has a link, so he amasses followers anyway. Such is the price of being a famous classical musician.

“It’s because you’re young and hot,” NHS reminds him during an event they’re both obligated to attend when he expresses his disinterest at his 15k followers.

Lan Zhan doesn’t know what being either of those things has to do with his field.

No one is looking at his face when he’s playing music!

👀 <- nhs’s expression in response to that.

It’s late and he’s stuck in an airport. Despite having a set bedtime, he’s not the type to sleep while in public, and the annoyance and disregulation of the flight delay have made it so he’s having trouble focusing on reading. In a rare instance, he ends up scrolling his socials.

Wei Wuxian is trending #1.

Lan Zhan doesn’t know who that is so he ignores it.

“Dizi” is trending #5. Lan Zhan’s eyebrows go up in vague surprise. He’s aware of how little the world cares about traditional music, even if he thinks they’re all wrong. So of course he clicks on it.

The video that opens is of a man playing something slow and upbeat on a dizi. His expression shows that he’s entranced with the music he’s playing and that he’s enjoying himself.

And oh

Oh

He’s beautiful.

It should NOT matter to Lan Zhan. He’s only ever cared about the music. But it matters. It feels like the dizi is being jabbed into his solar plexus with every second the man plays with his lovely face and long, graceful fingers

He finishes the video, surprised to see it’s almost 4 minutes long. The man holds his final note with impressive breath control. Then he laughs, gasping for breath. “It’s been ages since I’ve tried that” he says.

It hits LZ that this isn’t a normal video

Or, it’s far too professional of a set up for most amateur instrument players. Compared to his own v expensive marketing the lighting and sound is 🙌🏻 quality.

Lan Zhan glances down to read the discription to find the man’s name.

Wei Wuxian.

He isn’t clueless about the internet. He realizes that wwx must be someone. Someone big enough to trend #1 and make the word dizi trend at all. He should dismiss it as a lovely moment and move on.

He doesn’t dismiss it.

Instead, he watches it again.

He goes back to trending topics and clicks into the WWX tag.

He watches more videos. He reads comments.

He learns.

By the time his flight boards he's learned:

WWX is an idol turned actor

He's never played the dizi publicly before

His fans aren't shocked to learn he CAN because he typically pulls out random skills from no where

LWJ is SUPER attracted to him.

Before he gets on the plane he likes the video and it feels like a big deal. He stares at it for a moment and thinks about sharing it.

He thinks, and thinks, and ends up feeling like it's too big of a step that would tell all his followers exactly how he feels.

(worse, it would also tell his brother, who sometimes teases him for being young and so disconnected from modern music.)

That should be the end of it. He airport-exhaustion flirts with being attracted to an actor, he rationalizes himself out of it in the cold light of day.

It's not the end of it.

A timeline of lwj's fall into fanboying: 💎he lurks for a week, going video to video/post to post 💎he considers putting wwx's pic as his phone background; doesn't 💎he makes a burner account to like posts so he won't lose them 💎he likes a lot of posts

💎he gets furious when someone says something bad about wwx and thinks about answering; doesn't 💎does 💎does 💎he has RECEIPTS 💎he considers getting a burner phone so his brother can't look over his shoulder so he can save images; doesn't 💎hopelessly thinks wwx is GORGEOUS

has the following convo with LXC: LXC: i see you liked the video of wwx playing the dizi LWJ, ice spreading through his extremities: you have not spoken of him before - is he a friend? LXC: no, he's - nevermind

Maybe the first time he managed to get one over on his nosy brother

It feels thrilling to him, this secret life.

💎He plays the same song on his guqin that wwx played on the dizi and thinks about filming and posting it; doesn't. 💎He goes to see wwx's most recent movie in theatres; hates the experience but enjoys seeing him anyway

💎sees an announcement for a fanmeet out of an auditorium he plays and considers buying a ticket; doesn't 💎regrets; doesn't change his mind 💎on the day of the fanmeet he stays away. he has access - it's a surprising test of wills for him

until he gets called in for a favor

The favor* is to pre-record a short accompaniment on the guqin. It should have been done far in advance, it wasn't. It's very wwx to do something fantastic at the last second. lwj should feel more annoyed by the haste but is instead charmed.

*he is getting paid.

He's standing in the corridor w his guqin when wwx's entourage arrives, walking quickly past.

He looks.

His heart races. His palms sweat.

wwx meets his eyes and smiles, friendly & impersonal.

lwj stands there after he leaves for what feels like a long time but prob isn't.

He thinks about it for days. should he have said something? should he have asked for his ad hoc contract to include 5 minutes of time?

It all seems so impossible. force inserting himself into a moment of wwx's life makes him feel ill.

He wishes.

(he doesn't know)

[time skip]

LXC asks him if he'd be willing to play a few songs at his boyfriend's brother's son's bday party, stresses that he's not the entertainment. He agrees. It's very likely that LXC will force him along to socialize and at least if he's playing he won't need to talk.

The Jins are ostentatious; the party is not.

"friends & family," lxc explains. "JYL's brother is famous. you don't know him."

he WOULDN'T, his brother is right. He doesn't think about the surety of the phrasing until he walks through the door and comes face to face with WWX.

LWJ stills.

WWX pauses mid-sentence and looks at him. "I saw you at the fanmeet," he blurts out, surprised.

Everyone turns to stare at him. His ears flame hot. "I recorded the guqin piece."

He doesn't say how beautiful wwx is in person

"Oh thank you! I know it was so last minute. A lifesaver. A prince!" wwx effuses.

This seems to be a good enough explanation for everyone but LXC who is still staring at him. He feels pleased. His brother can tell.

He bows briefly at the praise.

Later, wwx approaches where he's sitting. "I thought you might like to hear the song."

"I heard it," he says. Wishes he hadn't. wwx was going to play it for him and he spoke without thinking. He knows better.

"Oh, did your management share it?"

"It's online."

It isn't online.

Or, it is online, but only in a certain kind of fan recording.

"You wanted to hear it that badly?"

Yes. It's the cumulation of both their talents. He's never felt that level of impatience in his life. "Yes," he says simply.

"OH!" wwx gasps delighted. "It's so good, isn't it?"

"Mn," he agrees.

"I'm going to release it. Do a concert with me!" WWX asks, shining. "Oh! An album!"

He can't. "I follow you on social media," he tells wwx, tone grave.

"You say that like it's bad. 30 million ppl follow me on social media." He pulls out his phone. Frowns.

"It doesn't say we're mutuals," he shows LWJ.

LWJ pulls out his phone and shows it to WWX.

"A FAN ACCOUNT" WWX crows in delight. "oh my god that's amazing. That's so good. You have to make music with me now that I know you like me. Yes, right? You're going to say yes?"

"Yes."

He doesn't realize until later, when he's home and still reeling from how overwhelming wwx's presence is, that he doesn't have a new follower notification on his main account.

How long has wwx been following him?

"Oh, since you played at [x] Gala two years ago. You were breathtaking. I was a guest." wwx tells him when he finally asks. "You didn't notice?"

"No."

"Haha I asked your brother when I met him and he said you wouldn't." wwx thinks this is the most hilarious thing.

"You notice me now, right gege?" wwx asks, fluttering his eyelashes.

LWJ kisses him.

[fin] 💝💝

(also share on X if you're so inclined. it's been retweeted once at this point and that's v sad 😭😂)

[ornii]

Could you please tag me in all the parts of my kind of crazy? Cuz i found part 1 and 2 but cant find the rest. And if there is no more could you please continue it?

Yeah I still need to learn how Tagging works, so if anyone can, let me know. But to answer your question no I haven’t made a part three

Until now!

My Kind of Crazy, Part 3

Inside the run down office building, Red Hood motions for Deadshot to follow him. Katana watches them closely as Red Hood opens the door and they both step in, the room was a large office space with multiple computers running programs and systems. And FBI workers tearing and wiping the files. And the one ordering them around was Amanda Waller arguing with Flag.

“You wouldn't have made it without them.” She spoke, packing.

“We got lucky. I don't do luck. I do planning and precision.” Rick replies, and Waller shrugs it off.

“Admit it, Rick. I was right.” She spoke, and Flag wasn’t buying it. “Yeah, I told you to get on the damn truck. Why'd you stay?” He eyed Waller, who stopped packing and gave flag a harsh reality check.

“I was studying your girlfriend. She takes an average person, a yoga mom, an elderly retiree, and she turns them into a soldier who can take a headshot and still fight. It's an instant army. How'd she do it, Flag? How'd she game the system with you watching her every move?” Waller asked, it it was obvious she knew the answer already. Flag buried his pain and ignored the question.

“I'll accept the consequences.” He said

“I am your consequence.” Waller replied with stern emphasis. Just as he prepares to weasel out again, Deadshot and Red Hood approached.”You might need to be careful. They think we're rescuing Nelson Mandela.” Deadshot eyes Waller, who walks past him

“I can take care of myself. Shut it down, wipe the drives.” She gives the order to the Agents who continue to wipe their digital prints from this Operation. Deadshot leans into flags ear as he watches Waller.

“Uh, hey, man, I know you can't hear me 'cause you're trapped in your temple of soldierly self-righteousness, but a two-faced dude like you wouldn't survive a second on the street.” Deadshot points out the obvious Hypocrisy, Flag being called out for lying about this High Value Target.

“Oh, says the guy who shoots people for money.” Flag retorts, Red turns quickly to Waller at the sound of gunfire. Waller has systematically executed the workers. Red could only watch, knowing Waller or Flag could turn his brain into mush. Waller leaves, and Red Hood eyes flag, who doesn’t look very happy about what he’s just witnessed.

“That is just a mean lady.” Deadshot follows.

“Yeah. You get used to it.” Flag grumbled, Red walks past him, “I don’t think a good soldier would let innocent people die, but what do I know right?” Red and Deadshot exit the room, and the Squad see who they’ve been made to protect. Waller and Flag step out into the frying pan of sorts.

“Let's go home.” Flag ordered, it it wasn’t on a natural bass, more of a coercive tone, but it obviously wasn’t working.

“Yeah, let's go home. That sounds good. You guys wanna go home? Or you wanna go back to prison?” Boomerang said, obviously sarcastic, they all had their reasons for not going back home.

“What I'm saying is we kill the pair of 'em now before they kill us.” Boomerang said, which many of agree with, slowly surrounding them, “I got this.” Waller took this one herself, letting Katana and Flag watch, she stepped before the squad, “You all made it this far. Don't get high-spirited on me and ruin a good thing.” Waller shows the explosive device in her hand, much like the one Flag has, all set to explode just like Red Hood predicted. The Squad all share a glance, and they reluctantly escort Waller to the roof. The dark sky has hints of neon lights and flames dance in the sky. Regrouping with Flags men they watch a Helicopter fly towards the Building.

“Savior One-Zero, this is Ground Element. Savior One-Zero, how copy? Savior One-Zero, the LZ's clear.” One of Flags men tries to hail down the Chopper, but no response.

“Boss, they're not talking to me.” He spoke, and Flag quickly assessed the situation, “Our bird's been jacked. Light it up!�� Flag and his men open fire on the Helicopter, its panel opens up to Joker, dressed in a suit and with an AK opening fire with manic laughter, a minigun mounted on the heli also opens fire on them, ducking behind AC generators to keep from getting torn to shreds. Red Peers over the unit and his eyes catch a glimpse of that face, the manic laughter, the pale skin. A flood of rage built into Red and he leaped over the Unit, firing his dual pistols at the helicopter. Titanium composite hollow tipped bullets, with a C4 Kicker, explosive ammunition he made himself, the shots land hard on the wall that actually begin to make a dent. They turn the Minigun to him and looks to shred him, before Red can get turned into mince meat, Diablo comes in and tackles him before another AC Unit. He saved Red, who looked at the man, he shrugged it off and kept down to avoid bullet fire, but this wasn’t a random attack it was coordinated, Harley begins to walk to the Helicopter, and Waller orders Flag to execute her, but every tap of the device leads to an error. Harley leaps to the rope and escapes, leaving Waller one less of a member, and Red, a missed opportunity. Dead soldiers litter the roof and everyone steps out of cover, Waller making a B line for Deadshot.

“Deadshot, shoot that woman right now!” She yells, and Deadshot shrugs

“She ain’t do shit to me.” He said lazily

“You're a hitman, right? I got a contract. Kill Harley Quinn. Do it for your freedom and your kid.” Waller said, which was more than enough for him.

“Now she dead.” He walked to a Unit and mounted to fire, heat her Harley dance and swing around, and takes the shot, Harley’s body goes limp, but she suddenly laughs and swings more around, Deadshot missing on purpose, he walked back to the ground.

“I missed.” He said, and Red wasn’t listening, all he felt was red, his chance to kill the Joker, gone. He walked over to the corpse of one of the soldiers, snatching a rifle from its cold dead hands and he mounts up as well, everyone watches as the helicopter takes a slight left. He took everything into consideration and fired, the bullet flew and it hit the cockpit and straight through the pilots skull. They watched the helicopter spiral and go down. Red turned to the group and dropped his gun.

“Got what I wanted… We done here?” He said, everyone was silent, showing the ruthless cold side of the Red Hood. No one knew how to take it, but it’s safe to say for the Red Hood, that felt good. Another Heli picked up Waller and they left. Flag waits as the chopper soars off into the night deploying Flares. Minutes pass and Flag calls in, and listens.

“Ops just confirmed. She's down. 1k west. Let's go get her. The mission's not over.” Flag and his men turned to the exit with the “Heroes”

“Nah. It is for me. We had a deal.” Deadshot spoke up for most of them, everyone.

“Without Waller, you got nothing.” Flag walked off, and the group reluctantly follows. Making ground back on the floor they run into a less than happy Harley Quinn, who survived somehow. She spots them and attempts to put on a happy face.

“So.. shot any good birds lately?” she asked, mixed with sarcasm and scorn.

“One… if it means anything I wasn’t aiming for you.” Red Replies.

“I could kill you..” Harley grumbled

“You’d die trying..” Red replies as they approached Wallers downed chopper. Tears the door open croc side stepped to let them see. But no Waller. Dead corpses but none hers. Red Activated his detective mode in his visor. He scans around and they’re dead.

“I don’t see any of Wallers blood, gun residue everywhere though.. she tried to fight off whoever came for her.. rains going to be a pain in the pass to pick up any blood or sweat to track.”

“What’s your point?” Deadshot asked, Red turned to him. “My Point.. is that they captured her, they didn’t want her dead.. that have some use for her. But for what, I don’t know.” He said, and spots Wallers bag and began to ruffle though it. And sees a black binder and begins to sift though it and red was silent, he turned to Deadshot and handed him the binder. “The Hell’s this?” He asked.

“Why we’re here..” he responds, Deadshot reads it and looked back up to Red, he angrily takes the binder and storms off to Flag, he hurls the binder at the wall and everyone turns to flag. Deadshot and Flag are eye to eye.

“You tell everybody everything. Or me and you gonna go right now.” He said, and flag’s face told a story, and he reluctantly explained. “Three days ago, a non-human entity appeared in the subway station, So Waller sent me and a woman with incredible abilities. Enchantress. A witch. See, nobody could get near this thing, but the witch could. Needless to say, the whole thing was a bad idea, the woman was… possessed by the Enchantress, she’s held captive by her. We were going to blast a hole in the subway under the entity and.. she tricked us with the bomb, And that's how she escaped from Waller. So now you know.” Flag explained his turmoil, to everyone who listened and everyone respectfully was sick of it. Red scoffed, “we’re sent on this death mission to fix your fuck up..” he folds his arms, and Deadshot shook his head and looked around, and saw a Bar.

“You can just kill me right now, but I'm going to have a drink.” Deadshot walked off and Harley follows.

“Hey, Deadshot, I need your help.” Flag pleads, but flint shook his head

“No, sir. You need a miracle.” Deadshot and the others head in, Red Hood was the last to leave and looks Flag up and down. “Might as well call the big man in the sky for that.” He gave one last stinger and walked into the bar, he saw the others enjoying their drinks and slumped in a seat next to Deadshot. Harley was tending and eyed the man.

“Oh, Dead Hood.” Harley still has a pretty sharp bone to pick with him.

“Not my name…” he responded and Deadshot looks around.

“Well, we almost pulled it off despite what everybody thought.”

“We weren’t picked to succeed..” Diablo chimes in, and Deadshot agrees, “Worst part of it is, they're going to blame us for the whole thing. And they can't have people knowing the truth. We're the patsies. The cover-up. Don't forget, we're the bad guys. And, uh, for about two sweet seconds, I had hope.” Deadshot flushed down his drink.

“You had hope, huh? Hope don't stop the wheel from turning, my brother.” Diablo looks at the empty shot glass before him

“You preaching?”

“It's coming back around for you. How many people you killed, man?” Diablo asks Deadshot, who admittedly probably doesn’t even know, the bodies left in his wake. “It’s Karma for us, especially for me..” he continued

“See, I was born with the Devil's gift. I kept it hidden for most of my life, but... The older I got, the stronger it got. So I started using it. For business, you know. The more power on the street I got, the more fire power I got. Like, that shit went hand in hand. You know? One was feeding the other. Ain't nobody tell me no. Except my old lady. You know, she used to pray for me. Even when I didn't want it. God didn't give me this. Why should he take it away? See, when I get mad, I lose control. You know, I just... I don't know what I do..till it's done.” Diablo made a woman of fire in his hand.. and snuffed out her flame, Red listened, memories of his own father flooding on.

“And the kids?” Boomerang asked, fearful himself.

“He killed them.” Red spoke up, and he took off his helmet to reveal his face and sighed. “I remember…” Red stopped talking and shut up, almost revealing his other identity, but Harley wasn’t up for silence.

“Own that shit. Own it! What'd you think was gonna happen? Huh?” She said to Diablo.

“Hey, Harley. Come on.”

“What, you were just... Thinking you can have a happy family and coach little leagues, and make car payments? Normal's a setting on the dryer. People like us, we don't get normal!” She yelled, and Boomerang sharply put his glass down.

“Why is it always a knife fight every single time you open your mouth? You know, outside you're amazing. But inside, you're ugly. We all are.” He said, and Red piped up. “.. So, you just.. willow in that hole?” He started and stood up, he walked over to Diablo as everyone watched. “You kill your wife and kids and you think you deserve a cell for the rest of your life? Feeling sorry for yourself? I got a temper too so I understand, but you’re still in control of your actions.” Red turned to Harley.

“You know why I shot your chopper down?” He asked, everyone really leans in now. Red shows the J scar on his cheek, “see who I got this from?” He said, and Harley began to remember. “You’re—“

“I was.. Robin. I probably helped put a few of you in prison. I went after Joker by myself one time. Didn’t think Batman understood.. and my temper got me. He.. beat me, for days, starved, tortured me, and once in a while, I saw you in the corner, laughing. And when he finished, he blew me to pieces.. I was fourteen. Lazus pit.. Now look at me. This, was my choice... Now I gotta live with it. Same way you gotta live with it.” (Y/n) walked back to his seat, and slumped down.

Everyone was silent, he felt a glass tap his finger and he looked up to Harley give what he can only assume is an apology whiskey. “Mista J is.. not the best when it comes to dealing with kids. I guess I’m not either, maybe you were right when you said that.. maybe I’m just another victim, I mean what lady watches a man beat a.. teenager.” She said to herself, Red took it and downed it effortlessly. “I’m twenty two now, not a teenager anymore.”

For a moment it seemed the two can actually form a decent but obviously volatile relationship, but then, Flag enters the Bar and slumps down next to Red.

“We don't want you here.” Harley frowns, and Flag looks at Red, “You get to the part in that binder saying I was sleeping with her?” He said, Red raises an eyebrow. “Nope, I never been with a witch before. What's it like? I mean I’ve flirted with death before but I don’t go that far.” Red shrugged and Deadshot leaned to see Flag.

“Apparently, that's why the creatures chase him all the time. 'Cause the witch is scared of him.” He chuckled, but Flag shook his head, pain in his voice.

“The only woman I ever cared about is trapped inside that monster. If I don't stop the witch, it's over. Everything is over. Everything. You're free to go.” Flag smashes the device and breaks it, and Boomerage makes a break for it. Red sighs and turns to Flag. “Your girlfriend is going to destroy the world, isn’t she?” He asked, Flag was silent and Red put the mask Back on and gripped his pistols. “Well.. fuck it.” Red stood up. “Let’s go Flag.. least you can say you died tying.” Red walked away, and everyone watched him, and Deadshot sighed and stood up and followed out, Red peeked back in.

“Yo Harley, you coming?” He asked, she shrugged and grabbed her baseball bat. “Don’t have anything else better to do.” She said and followed, everyone now filled with a bit of nepotistic energy follow, if they head into the abyss, at least they go in screaming. flag has the back of the squad, even if they’re “Criminals.” And Captian Boomerang comes back, like a, Boomerang.

Outside the large square, the squad now prep for the final assault, Red tossing a camera to a wall and using his visor to look around, “looks like there’s a woman.. and a massive guy next to her, that’s our targets?”

“Yeah. It isn’t going to be easy getting to her, I did leave a big demo charge down there in that subway. There's a flooded tunnel, leads right underneath that building. SEALs, they can recover the charge, swim in underneath that thing's feet. We get in its face and distract the hell out of that son of a bitch so the swimmers can blow the bomb. That's how we take it out.” Flag gives a solid plan. Croc pipes up

“I'm going with ya.” He spoke to the SEALS, as if they had some choice.

“We got this.” One said, and croc tore off his upper shirt and jacket. “I'm not asking, bro. I live underground. Y'all are just tourists.” Croc and the seals swim in the flooded subway and the main squad prepare for a literal suicide mission. They walked along the subway and corpses strung the pillars. Blood and black ooze follow. They reach the central station platform. Inside felt like a theatre of darkness, whatever dark magic she was conjuring.

“Hey, everyone can see all this trippy magic stuff, right?” Harley asks

“Yeah. Why?” Red replies.

“I'm off my meds.” She weakly smiled. Deadshot and Flag look to the center, of Enchantress continuing to open the

“So that's your old lady?” Deadshot nods in approval.

“Yeah.”

“Well, you need to handle this shit, all right? Get up there, smack on her ass, tell her, "Knock this shit off." Deadshot said, which flag couldn’t tell if he was being serious it not.

“I do not think that'd be wise. I'm gonna draw out the big one. My boys will detonate the bomb underneath him.” Flag gives the order but before they step out, Enchantress calls out to them.

“I've been waiting for you all night. Step out of the shadows. I won't bite. Why are you here? Because the soldier led you? And all for Waller. Why do you serve those who cage you? I am your ally. And I know what you want.” The woman calls out, and begins to show the squad their true dreams, what they truly wish for, Deadshot to rewrite that day, Harley., a family. And (Y/n), who stood across Bruce with a smile, as he’s still Robin.

“Alright Bruce.. what’s on tonight?”

“Patrol, Arkham’s never safe.” He said sternly, (Y/n) gave a smirk and nodded. He felt the suddenly jank of reality, Red saw Diablo in his face.

“It's not real. She trying to play games with you, man. - It's not real!” He yells to all of them, who slowly come down from their dream, and step out to face enchantress. She sees her tricks didn’t work, and frowns.

“The sun is setting, and the magic rises. The metahumans are a sign of change.” Enchantress saw their minds aren’t changing now, and casted a spell, stomping from the back the larger monster approached.

“Who's this?”

“It's gonna be bad!”

“We should run.”

Red Didn’t take advice well and charges in, leaping past its tendrils and firing off his rounds, it began to bend the mental skin and make the monster cry out. He leaped onto its back and slammed an explosive charge on it, he hurls red hood off of him. Deadshot takes aim and hits the explosive dead on, but no effect! Boomerang hurls his boomerangs that do not to stop it, the monster grabs the Australian by the neck and prepares to turn him as well. Kitana leaps off a counter and slices the hand off with a clean cut, only for the Mayan grow it back, bullets and explosives only infuriate it. Before Harley can get crushed by the Mayan for a bat swing, Red fires his grappling hook to her shirt and reels her to safety.

“We can get him in the corner.” Red pops off more shots, and Diablo steps up!

“I lost one family. I ain't gonna lose another one. I got this. Let me show you what I really am.” Diablo rushed forward and blast a bellow of flames at it, only to infuriate the monster who kicks him away. It awaken the true El Diablo! His body underwent a harrowing transformation into El Diablo! The meta human battles with the Mayan. Pushing him to the edge he and the Mayan are right at the corner

“Diablo, get clear! Get outta there!” Flag yells, the Meta turns to them, “Blow it!” He orders, and Red watched The Mayan and Diablo go up in smoke and rubble in the explosion. He laid for it.. he lived. And died with his choice. Red stood up and walked to the hole, but he forgot that this battle was far from over, Enchantress still had her power.

“My spell is complete. Once you and your armies are gone, my darkness will spread across this world. And it will be mine to rule.” Enchantress activated her portal, which begins to tear the world apart. And the true enchantress escapes, her body devoid of color, black, like the ooze leaking from all she touches, and she attacks them, their bullets, blades, nothing can harm her!

“You got a move here, Flag?” Red tackled flag out of the way from getting his head taken off.

“We gotta cut her heart out. While we're fighting, that thing's laying waste to the whole damn world.” Flag said, “You guys have any plans on cutting her heart out?”

“I got one..” Red said. “How long have you been thinking about it?” Harley adds in.

“Maybe five minutes..” Red begins to try something, anything, tapping into the power of the Lazuris pit and felt a heartbeat within it all. A hilt of pure red energy began to emit from his heart. He gripped the handle with both palms and pulled it from him, a red blade of energy was now his. “Huh, this might work.. I cut her chest open and you guys tear the heart!” Red gives the order and charges in, Enchantress swings and fires magic, Red put the blade up and it began to deflect the magic, he leapt forward with a slash and fought Enchantress in the arm. It cut her body made of magic. Her body couldn’t heal from it, the scar emitting a red haze. She looked up worried and Red begins to put more pressure on her, and catches her right on the chest with an upward slash, Enchantress screams in pain, and the squad see the chance, Harley, Deadshot, Kitana and Boomerag grab her arms and legs and flag comes from behind. Just for the moment Enchantress was taken aback, and Red goes in with a blade straight though her heart. Time slows down as the enchantress blinked. The light leaving her eyes in a flash the eruption of light left the station and the bleak sun shined though, and June was right before Red. Confused and why a sword was though her body Which disappeared. Flag realized that his June was back, and hugged her. I suppose it was a happy ending

“Y'all don't mind, I got me a sewer to crawl back into.” Croc turns to leave and Red sighed and turned to the front, “Yeah, and I got some business to handle back in Gotham.” Red dusts himself off

“I'm going to hotwire a car. Need a ride?” Harley offered, but before he can reply, Waller, who’s somehow still alive steps out with her explosive device.

“How are you not dead?” Deadshot said in disbelief. “We just saved the world. A "thank you" would be nice.” Harley spoke, and Waller tilts her head “Thank you.” She said sarcastically, “You're welcome.” Harley replies with a smile.

“So, we did all of this and we don't get shit?”

“Ten years off your prison sentences.”

“Nah, that's not enough. I'm seeing my daughter.” Deadshot kept his eyes locked on Waller who reluctantly agreed.

“That can be arranged. Any other requests?” “An espresso machine.” Harley said

“…BET.” croc nods, and Boomerang scoffs.

“Ten years off a triple life sentence? Darling, I'm walking out of here a free man or we're going to start having some real fun.” He approaches Waller, who coldly stepped up to Boomerang. “Why don't we have some fun?” She replies scaring the piss out of the Captian. Red shrugged, he got his revenge after all.

Back at Belle Reeve, (Y/n) sits in his cell, footsteps echo from the Door and he cracks his knuckles, ready to fight.

“Whoever it is… gonna put.. 14 in the ICU.” He said, and the voice of God, Waller spoke to him. “That won’t be needed, you’re getting released.”

“…What?” He stood up from his bed, staring at the Door expecting death, what opened was something much more than that, he could only muster one word

“…Bruce?”

@henkermen

[letteredlettered]

ooh maybe “crossover” ahaha in case that sparks any ideas! I wonder what things would be like if LZ or WWX met with HD in a story lol. Harder still to imagine any tgcf character meeting HD in a story

ahhhh I'm sorry I couldn't do a wangxian/HP crossover for you. I think I like to deal with things realistically, and realistically, I feel like the characters in MDZS are so powerful that HP people would be like little gnats to them. WWX is happy to help gnats, but he'd kill Voldemort with a single toot on his flute and then get bored. LWJ would be so disgusted by Draco Malfoy that he'd probably kill him with a glance.

I've been answering all the other prompts in the order received, but I admit to backburnering this one a bit because I just couldn't do wangxian for it. Finally, I wrote something that isn't a crossover, but still uses your word. I hope it works anyway. Thank you for the prompt!

*

Crossover

“What would you have done if I had crossed over?”

“Crossed over?”

“To your side. In the war. Would you have taken me?”

Potter’s thumb rubs along the side of his cappuccino. He’s frowning.

Draco shouldn’t’ve asked. Shouldn’t’ve reminded Potter of what he’d done back then, the person he’d been.

“Did you know you were gay?” Potter said.

“Pardon?”

“Back then. Did you know?”

How is that relevant? It’s non-sequitur, and the answer is complicated, tied up in parents, in principles he’d thought were his. “Yes,” is what Draco says.

“I’d have taken you,” Potter says, then sips his cappuccino.

[she-who-paints-with-fire]

AFTERMATH

"They're gonna call this the Thirty Hour War, you know."

First Of Ten Thousand Blades lilted slightly, flat head swiveling as it surveyed the wreckage that called itself a battlefield. Beside her, In Eternal Memory shifted uneasily, charge-blades retracted but metal muscles undoubtedly coiled like a snake's.

"Was it even thirty hours? Felt like less."

"From war declaration to death? Probably about twenty to thirty."

"Huh. Been one hell of a cycle, then."

Dawn Always Comes landed beside the pair with its customary SSC-imbued angellic grace, metal singing like a choir of servomotors. Within the pilot's seat, Lux grimaced at the carnage before her.

"This is a charnel house," she observed.

"No kidding," Protector agreed. "Thank Christ-the-Buddha that Albatross was on hand."

"IFF tag located," Observer reported, piercing straight to the point as always. Team Poirun's sniper had never been one for pleasantries. "Marking on HUD."

The entire team glanced to the point that their sharpshooter had marked. Protector whistled; Karateka stared.

"Looks like the Mercenary Queen met her match," Jadwiga murmured, wincing slightly behind the controls of her Tortuga as she saw the wreckage. "Jadwiga to Highground."

"Highground receiving."

"Mercenary Queen is confirmed dead. Moving on to secondary objectives."

"Copy all. Secure an LZ and I'll pick everyone up."

"Ma'am."

First Of Eighteen Thousand Blades tightened its alloy-metal fingers around its shotgun. "Protector, Observer, start counting bodies. Karateka, you're with me to secure the captured mercenaries. Everyone, stay alert, fingers on triggers. We don't know who's left out here."

"Copy," Lux answered. Observer didn't reply; Protector simply nodded a quick acknowledgement.

In Eternal Memory moved first, heavy metal feet shifting and lifting. Observer's tiny, half-shrouded form slipped back down into the cockpit of Clouded Looking Glass and began to slowly stride away, six camouflaged legs shifting and skittering. First Of Eighteen Thousand Blades lifted a boot from the mud and began to march towards the rendezvous point; Dawn Always Comes followed close behind, moving with the grace of a living being.

They moved in silence, for a time.

Dawn Always Comes was mounted with a TLALOC clone named Sacred Symbol. She and Lux had chosen the name together when they'd first met, on the rationale that Lux had gotten to choose her name, so why shouldn't her copilot? From that day on, the two had formed a bond—not quite inseparable, but certainly good friends.

Sacred Symbol chose to speak up when Dawn Always Comes was within sight of the detained monarchists.

"What are we going to do with them?"

It was an understandable question; the Utopian Pillars forbode simply sticking them in a cell, but doing nothing would cost lives.

"We're just here to secure them. After that, we'll send them higher up the chain for sentencing."

They'd done this in the past, after raiding flash-cloning clinics and taking prisoners of war.

"What then?"

"Then... I don't know." Lux would've shrugged, if she wasn't neurally linked with her mech. "They probably get their licenses stripped and wind up back as civilians, probably under some sort of watch."

"That seems like it's rife for abuse."

It did, but was imprisonment really a better way? Lux didn't know. She chose to keep her response simple.

"Utopia is a verb."

It was a non-answer, and she knew that, but she didn't have a better one.

She stopped just behind Jadwiga, in front of the small crowd of detainees and a pair of badly damaged mechs.

"Three letters signal my distress," Jadwiga offered, as was protocol.

"Transmitted in the name of the wounded," came the countersign.

Jadwiga slipped out of and down from her mech. Karateka joined her, shrugging off the neural link and feeling her skin change to flesh instead of metal. Sacred Symbol remained in control of Dawn Always Comes.

"Jadwiga to Highground. Identities verified. LZ is as follows...

[starrywangxian]

oddly specific headcanon but when wwx and lwj go out together wwx always complains that he doesn't have any data. he complains with a pout how sad he is because he can't play pokemon go or scroll through twitter so lwj gets unlimited data every month just so wwx can use his phone (or wwx uses lwj's hotspot instead)

it's also great for when wwx has pressing questions he needs answering when he's out and about ("yes, lz i need to know the average life expectancy of a pigeon!! what if one dies right in front of me!!") etc. etc.

[writeforfandoms]

Warrior Song 10

Find the series masterlist

Well here we are. Getting to some actual plot. This is entirely speculation and, again, I play fast and loose with canon so. Keep that in mind.

Warnings: Brief violence, we're going beyond canon now, Blue Team in danger, shit's going down

Word count: 1.5k

Two days later found the entire team back on the Pelican, on your way to the next objective. Another part of the installation, Joy had told you. One they hadn’t visited yet at all, and were hoping would reveal more information. 

Honestly, you were expecting this would be like every other time Blue Team went - you and Fernando would mind the Pelican and shoot the breeze, Blue Team would do their thing and come back with questionable stains on their armor, and off you’d go again. 

But not this time. 

“Echo-216.”

“Here, Chief.” 

“Is the LZ secure?” 

“Yeah, all quiet here,” Fernando confirmed. “Need a pickup?” 

“We’re heading your way,” Chief said without giving an actual answer. 

“Copy that.” Fernando looked a bit puzzled. Understandably so. That was something new. 

“What do you think that’s about?” you asked quietly, leaning your weight against the back of his seat. 

“Not sure.” Fernando frowned out the front viewscreen of the Pelican. “At least he hasn’t thrown himself off something this time.” 

You snorted and shook your head, sinking carefully into the copilot seat. “This time.” 

Fernando tapped his fingers on the control panel before he glanced at you. “Ever flown one of these before?”

“Me?” You snorted. “Absolutely not.”

“Want to learn?” He smiled, but there was something more in his eyes. 

“Fernando…”

“Never hurts to learn a new skill, right?” He tipped his head at you, waiting to see if you tried to defy his logic. 

You puffed out a breath but obediently watched as he fired up the Pelican, explaining to you as he went. 

Fernando hit the button to lower the ramp. “Let’s go see what Chief found this time.” 

You got to your feet carefully and made it to the main area. Fernando hovered next to you but let you pace yourself, which you appreciated more than you could say. 

Blue Team walked on board and Chief immediately made for you and Fernando. “We need to go.”

“Made a few new friends, big guy?” Fernando asked, even as he threw himself back into the cockpit and into his chair. 

“Not exactly.” Chief stopped next to you, one heavy hand on your shoulder guiding you to sit. 

“We found evidence of activity further in the ring,” Joy piped up. “Recent activity.”

“Could be more Banished,” you murmured, though you frowned.

“Or worse.” Chief didn’t say anything else as the Pelican lifted off. 

A quick glance showed Fred, Kelly, and Linda all sitting, though they were all on alert. 

You clenched your jaw as the thought of worse caught up with you. Well. That could definitely be bad. You swallowed hard, glancing at Chief. But he didn’t show even the remotest sign of nerves. Which, honestly, of course he didn’t. Especially not with the helmet on. 

“It will be fine.” Chief kept his voice low, for the two of you, his hand squeezing your shoulder lightly. 

You nodded once but didn’t reply otherwise, brow furrowing. His confidence was bolstering, but not quite enough to keep your worries at bay. 

The trip was otherwise silent, although you could hear Fernando and Joy talking quietly in the front. You just focused on breathing. 

“We’re here.” Fernando’s statement was quiet but it didn’t matter - everyone heard him. The Pelican landed with only a little bump. 

Chief was the first off, gun in hand, sweeping the area visually. The rest of Blue Team followed, and you went only as far as the end of the ramp, looking around.

Like the rest of the ring, this place was beautiful, with long grass and trees, studded with rocks. It was almost peaceful, except for the tension the team carried with them. 

But you could see a cave entrance up ahead, a faint blue light coming from within. That must be part of the Halo structure, leading inside somewhere. 

A hand fell on your shoulder, not as big as John’s but just as comforting. “They’ll be fine,” Fernando murmured to you, standing next to you. “They’re Spartans! And they’ve got Chief!”

“They’re human too,” you murmured back, twisting your fingers together. “I just… worry.”

“Yeah.” Fernando sighed, squeezing your shoulder. “So do I. They need people to worry about them, I think. Keep them human.” 

“Good thing they’ve got us,” you agreed, tipping your head to smile at your friend. “Well. Let’s see what we can get done while they’re hunting, hm?” 

Fernando shot you a grin and nodded. A couple hours passed in companionable work. 

And then the ground started shaking. 

Fernando slammed himself into the pilot seat, hitting the button for the COM. “Chief, what the hell is happening?” 

“We found the Endless,” Joy spoke, sounding anxious and a bit distracted. “But not just them.”

“Get to a safe distance,” Chief interrupted. 

“Copy, Chief.” Fernando started up the Pelican, and you more or less plopped into the copilot seat. “Hold on, this might get bumpy.” He handled the controls like a pro, guiding the Pelican up away from the ground and further away. You held on tight to the safety straps, watching below you to see what was going on. 

The ground below cracked and split open. For a moment, you had the wild hope that this was the worst of it.

And then things started to fly up out of the crevice, which was slowly growing larger as the ground gave way at the edges. Most of them ignored you, flying off in one direction.

But a few turned to look at the Pelican, drifting closer. 

“Shit,” Fernando breathed, eyes wide. “Hang on.” He turned the Pelican sharply and retreated. 

“Think they’re following us?” you asked quietly, as if speaking too loudly would summon them.

“Just two.” Fernando clenched his jaw, hands tight on the controls. “If they’re what I think they are, we’re in trouble.”

“Well… I’ve gotta warn you, I’m not the best shot.” Your own hands clenched around the straps and you swallowed hard against the rising fear. 

“We’ll figure something out.” Fernando swerved the Pelican around a cliff, clearly hoping the two followers would get bored and move on. Almost idly, you noted that some of Chief’s relentless determination must have rubbed off on Fernando. 

With a triumphant noise, Fernando maneuvered the Pelican into an alcove in the cliff face. You both held your breath, hoping the two would ignore you, or miss you altogether. 

For once, luck was on your side. The two moved away, back to the others, which Fernando silently pointed out to you on the screen. 

And you both sagged into your seats. 

“That was too damn close,” Fernando breathed. 

“Can we wait here? Safely, I mean.” You levered yourself upright to get a better look around the alcove. It wasn’t much bigger than the Pelican, really, at least from what you could see. 

“Think so.” Fernando shrugged, the corners of his mouth pinched. “We’ll find out.” 

The Pelican set down with a bump, and you grimaced. Still wasn’t your favorite way to travel, but it was sometimes convenient. 

Without a word, Fernando stood, motioning you with one hand to stay put. You watched outside carefully, gaze flicking back and forth to the scanner, while he rummaged around in the back. There was a soft swear or two, but other than that, just quiet. 

He sat next to you again and held out a gun. A handgun of some kind - you were far from an expert. “Do you know how to use this?”

“Yes.” The answer felt ripped from you, but your hands didn’t shake as you took the gun, double checking the safety. “Like I said. I’m not a great shot. But I know how to shoot.”

“Let’s hope we don’t have to use these.” Fernando kept hold of his own gun, shoulders tense, mouth a thin line under his beard. 

“Think they’re okay?” you asked quietly after several long minutes of tense silence. 

“They have to be.” Fernando rolled his shoulders, staring outside. Not that there was a lot to see - grass, rocks, trees. Not much else. 

Neither of you spoke again until Joy contacted the ship. 

“Fernando, we need a pickup.” 

“Right, okay, I’ve got a lock on your location.” Fernando moved quickly and confidently, getting the Pelican moving again. “Everyone okay?” 

“For now.”

Foreboding slithered down your spine like cold water, and you wordlessly got up and moved to the back to drag out the medical supplies. 

“What the hell happened?” Fernando asked, pushing the Pelican to go faster. 

“It’s… I’ll explain when we’re all on board.” 

“Copy. We’re a few minutes out - are you secure?” 

“We’re okay here for now.” 

You swallowed hard when the Pelican juddered a little under your feet but you refused to move. You had potentially injured Spartans to tend to, after all.

[rallamajoop]

A Guide to Resident Evil Village's Weirdest Unlockable Weapon

RE8’s LZ Answerer (aka: did you know you this game lets Ethan unlock a fricking lightsaber?) is surely the weirdest video-game-thing I have ever spent far too much time working to unlock – and then even more time figuring out once I had it. So GDI, I’m writing up a proper guide on this thing, because there is sweet-FA other info out there about it on the web.

For a novelty-weapon, this thing is complicated. It has multiple different modes, and multiple different colours, none of which are very intuitive and most of which aren’t actually very useful. But it can still be damn useful for anyone going for the knives-only achievement, and may even come in handy going for the no-healing-items achievement. And even as a pure novelty, c’mon – this game gives you a fricking lightsaber, how is that not awesome?

So here’s the lowdown.

Unlocking the LZ Answerer

For this, you need an SS Rank on every level in Mercenaries mode. Including the Hard levels, which is a heck of a job. But if you’ve bought the Winters Expansion (and you should), then by the time you’ve got SS ranks on every standard level, you’ll have unlocked Lady Dimitrescu as a playable character (just an S on the last level is needed). And Lady D is broken on hard mode.

Her rush-in-and-choke-slam move will one-shot any regular enemy besides the Soldat Panzer or Jet, and she can tank more damage than anyone else and use healing items if you’re stuck. You’ll still need regular attacks to deal with boss enemies, but getting SS or even SSS ranks in hard mode with Lady D is sometimes easier than scoring the same ranks in easy mode, because the scores you need are lower. She’s not your best option for SS ranks on the lower difficulty, and even with her, those hard mode stages are still a challenge, but she’s totally your best option.

Once you’ve got those scores, the Duke will sell you the LZ Answerer very cheaply at any point where you can access his shop – even if you’re reloading from an older save. Sadly, it’s not available in Mercenaries mode, or when you’re playing the main campaign as Chris.

If you're paying really close attention, you might note this thing uses the same model as Chris' target locator. Why it's called the 'LZ Answerer' we will probably never know.

Using the LZ Answerer

Here’s where things get complicated.

Switching Modes

The LZ Answerer has three different colour modes, each with different effects, and each of which can be activated in either single- or double-bladed versions. Like all ‘knives’, you can either slash with it or hold the aim button for a forward stab for extra damage.

To activate your sabre, hit the attack button, or hold the aim button.

To activate double-bladed mode, hold down the aim button. After a few seconds, the second blade will start extending. You have to keep holding aim until it’s finished extending or it’ll disappear again. You can actually attack during this period – Ethan will simply do a forward stab – as long as you don’t release the aim button. The annoying part is that if Ethan is knocked down or if you change weapons, the sabre will deactivate, and you’ll have to do this again.

You can change the colour of your sabre the same way you switch ammo for your grenade launcher: hold ‘aim’, and hit the interact button (F on keyboard). Switching colours will also switch you back to single-bladed mode, unfortunately.

Entering double-bladed mode doubles your damage and changes Ethan’s attack animation. It’s well worth using, but does take more time to activate, which becomes an issue under pressure – especially when Ethan gets knocked down mid-battle and you have to reactivate it again in a hurry.

Note that Ethan’s usual parry-ability to push an enemy away doesn’t work when you’re using the LZ Answerer, or any other knife-weapon. Apparently you’ve got to be holding a gun for that.

Colour Modes

Red: Attack mode. Sabre does maximum damage in this mode.

Blue: Defence mode. Sabre does less damage (about 1/4 of red), but can be used to parry attacks, knocking enemies back.

To parry successfully, you need to hit the block button just as an enemy attacks. Just holding block down will still block, but won’t knock the enemy back.

Green: Healing mode. Sabre does even less damage (about 1/12 of red or 1/3 of blue), but heals Ethan slightly with each hit.

Healing mode will also boost your HP when you attack farm animals, or some inactive Soldats. From my own experiments, this didn't work on the Soldats in Heisenberg's operating room, but did work on the first inactive Soldat you encounter, sitting in its chair, and on the Soldats you find lined up in alcoves in the passage by the backup generator room (one of which does attack you, so something of a pattern there).

Double-bladed mode: Doubles damage of whichever colour mode is active.

Damage reductions here are relative – I don’t have exact figures, but have done a bunch of experimentation on multiple difficulties, recording how many hits it took to down an enemy, so have some figures.

On Casual difficulty, a single-bladed red sabre will kill a standard lycan or moroi in 1 hit. Your blue sabre will need 4 hits – or 2 with a double-blade. For comparison, the Karambit knife (unlocked after you finish the game for the first time) took me up to 3 hits to take down a lycan. Some of those hits may have been misses – its range is so short that it’s often hard to tell if it’s connecting at all – but you can see the LZ Answerer is already starting to lose its edge.

To kill 1 lycan with the green sabre will take you around 6 hits, even if it’s in double-bladed mode, so presumably closer to 12 with a single blade (I say ‘presumably’ because good luck counting out 12 hits on a single lycan). Even on Casual.

Up the difficulty to Hardcore, and you’ll need 2 red hits to take down one lycan (or 1 hit in double-bladed mode). By Village of Shadows, you’re looking at 2 double-bladed hits from your red sabre per kill – so if we do the math, we’d be looking at 48 hits with a single-green sabre. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Where it really gets complicated

So in theory, this is a weapon with a lot of versatility: 6 different modes, the ability to parry and knock down enemies or even heal yourself, and do serious damage without spending ammo! In practice though, only the red mode is really useful (damage in other modes is just too steeply reduced), and even then, more of a novelty than a substitute for your guns.

See, here’s the thing: using the LZ Answerer really drives home that this is not a game designed for melee combat, and letting enemies get into melee range is a Bad Idea.

Even on casual difficulty, most enemies will strike at you the moment they get into range, and your sabre has no real impact or stopping power. Enemies will regularly take multiple hits from it without flinching, and it does nothing to interrupt incoming attacks.

So you can hit a lycan the moment you get into range, and that lycan will still tank the hit, dive straight through the blade, knock you into the dirt and go for your neck, locking you into an extended animation and forcing you to reactivate the sabre again from scratch before you can go in for another hit. If you want time to reactivate both blades, you’ll probably have to run away and come back.

In theory, being able to parry incoming attacks in blue-bladed defensive mode should be a good solution, but in practice, parried enemies are blown too far away to set them up for a counter-attack. By the time you’ve closed the distance, they’re probably getting back up again. Using your regular block in melee combat and then attacking immediately after is actually the more viable strategy. Note also that, even on a successful parry, Ethan still takes damage, and all that damage adds up pretty quickly.

But the biggest problem is that defensive mode reduces sabre damage by around 75%. That means up to 4 times more hits to take down an enemy, and at least 4 times more chances for them to get through your guard. By far the most effective strategy I could come up with – regardless of difficulty – with was to just rush enemies with my double-red sabre and take them down before they had the chance to react. With this thing, the best defence really is a good offense

Healing mode is only worse: one hit from a green sabre does barely 1/12 the damage of your red sabre, and you’ll need multiple hits to raise Ethan’s health by even a single colour phase. Trying to kill enemies at short range with what amounts to a pen knife just results in getting bitten more, and ending the battle with less health than you started.

Some Actual Tactical Advice

The long and short of all this is that in 99.9% of circumstances, there’s no reason to use any mode but red. The best tactic available is killing your enemy in one hit, before it ever gets the chance to attack at all.

Strategy-wise, I found two different semi-viable ways to use this thing in combat, both working best in double-bladed red mode. Switching colours mid-stream is just too slow to be practical under pressure.

Block as soon as an enemy gets close to you, then use the window after it attacks to attack back. You’ll take some damage, but not as much.

Charge in swinging the lightsabre madly, preferably while weaving to the left, hitting the enemy without putting yourself in a good position for it to hit you back. On lower difficulties, this will kill most enemies in one hit.

If you do get knocked down in the midst of a fight (and you will), you’ll probably end up finishing the fight with a single-bladed sabre. C'est la vie.

In Conclusion

So with all these issues, is there are a reason to use the LZ Answerer at all? Well, actually, yes.

For all its problems, the red sabre is still the best knife-class weapon in the game. Even in single-bladed mode, it does more damage than the Chris’ karambit, and has better range to boot. And if you’re going for the knives-only achievement, that’s not to be sneezed at.

Though green-bladed mode isn’t useful in combat, it will actually heal you a little even when attacking farm animals or (surprisingly!) inactive soldats. And if you’re going for the three-healing-items-or-less achievement, then that's actually useful.

That said, by the time you’ve unlocked the LZ Answerer, you should already have unlocked ‘special customisations’ for all your weapons (a much easier Mercenaries-mode unlockable). And with that bonus, Ethan’s basic starter pistol, the Lemi, also heals you a little with each hit. It doesn’t do much damage, but you can do damage with it from a safe distance, and that’s often going to be way more practical.

All that said, the green sabre can be more efficient. Testing this out, I found that, killing the two goats with the green sabre refilled my health all the way from red to dark green, whereas killing those same two goats with the Lemi only increase my health from red to orange. And being able to stand there and just whale on inactive Soldats is a pretty effective way of refilling your health too.

Ultimately, the LZ Answerer is mostly just a novelty weapon that can be pretty frustrating to use in practice. But as a cute gimmick that mostly exists as an excuse to play more Mercenaries and reuse Ethan’s knife-wielding animations in a fun way, that’s all it really needs to be. It’s neat, but you’re not missing a lot if you never unlock the thing, and that’s okay.

[weiying-lanzhan-fics]

Turn Left by kianspo

Second time reading. Love this story so much!

Find it entertaining (foul jokes with a corpse!), sarcastic (LZ is the best!), heartwarming (brother love), and endearing! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

And heartbreaking - poor LZ has to go through a lot in this one. Absolutely worth a read - such a great story of pain but eventual happiness.

Quotes:

He goes to sit by the wall, not too close to a few other beggars. They all give him looks anyway, some call out, something loud and nasty. He ignores them. He wouldn’t know how to answer and has no energy to try.

He sits with his back to the wall, trying to maintain proper posture. He doesn’t have an empty bowl to put in front of him. Monks in Guanyin temples are known to share food with the beggars sometimes when they have some to spare. Xiaoxiao hopes this might be one such order. He’s willing to eat off the ground if it comes to that. He’s not picky.

He sits with his eyes closed, but no one approaches him, not the first day, and not the second. He doesn’t know if others managed to get food. He thinks he’d heard some commotion at some point, but his mind is drifting too much. He’s beginning to lose words, and what few remain refuse to form into concepts.

The only thing he’s consistently aware of is the soft amber glow in his lower belly. With what senses he can feel it, he doesn’t know, but, with his eyes closed, he can see it curling down below, burning steady but weak, and getting weaker. He’s suddenly overwhelmed with sorrow for it. In his mind’s eye, it’s like a tiny, soft animal, trusting and defenseless, like a kitten or a bunny. It’s kind, he feels. It’s kind and caring, and he’s supposed to protect it, and he can’t. His eyes burn, but he can’t produce tears.

————

Xiao Yanyi has zero desire to bow to him, but of course follows both the rules of politeness and his shixiong’s lead. The Jin disciple’s gaze slides from one to the other, and his mouth twists in derision.

“Sure, no problem, I can let you in right now,” he tells Xiao Xingchen, not bothering to return the greeting, despite being here to represent the hosts. His eyes slide over to Xiao Yanyi, and he scoffs. “But he can forget about it. Face like that, people won’t know if he’s hunter or prey.”

He laughs at his own joke, and the Wen disciples join in, gleefully parsing Xiao Yanyi’s appearance.

“What do you think, a ghost of a murderer?”

“No! A lech done to death by a jealous mistress!”

“Ha! I wonder if he’s like that underneath his robes! Maybe she didn’t just stop at his face!”

Xiao Yanyi realizes he’s frozen in place. Distantly, he wonders at it. It’s not like this is something he wasn’t prepared for or anything new. What is this paralysis? Why can’t he say a word?

Xiao Xingchen’s smile has slipped, but he’s trying to rally, ignoring the other youths and addressing the Jin disciple.

“This is my shidi. He’s a cultivator, same as I am. You can’t turn him away simply because of his appearance.”

“Can’t I?” the Jin disciple scoffs. “That he’s no beauty is his bad luck, but how’d he get them scars then? They look awfully like someone’s tried to carve a warning into his ugly mug. Was it an executioner or a butcher? What if he’s a murderer who got away? And I’m supposed to just let him in?”

Xiao Yanyi hears his own voice, though he can barely control his throat as he says, “I am no murderer.”

“Really?” The Jin disciple leans back in his chair obnoxiously, eyes narrowed in malevolent glee. He’s been bored stuck with this job, Xiao Yanyi realizes. He’s been spoiling for something like this. “Prove it then. Strip where we all can see. If there are no embarrassing brands on you, then maybe I’d let you in. But if there are, the guards are right here.”

“Young Master Jin—” Xiao Xingchen starts, frowning, but the Jin youth isn’t listening.

“Come on, stop pretending to be some blushing maiden!” he taunts. “If you’ve got nothing to hide, strip so we can all see!”

Noise is rising in Xiao Yanyi’s ears, the same overpowering, ringing sound that had been such a plague on him back in his days at Madam Ji’s brothel. Fighting resentful spirits is one thing, but this type of attack is debilitating, too much. His vision is becoming spotty, and he’s losing control of his body. He can vaguely feel Xiao Xingchen moving closer, and yet not close enough, afraid to touch him. Xiao Yanyi is drowning, surrounded by people and all alone.

Suddenly, a clear cool voice cuts in.

“What is going on here?”

————

“You don’t want to tell me?” Wei Wuxian pouts. Pouts. “But I’m very trustworthy! Huh. No, wait, never mind that, I know who you are!”

Xiao Yanyi stares.

Wei Wuxian is grinning at him, alight with his discovery. “You’re that cultivator who cleansed the entire river valley further upstream! They told me in the village. I rushed over here when I heard about the flood—ripe time for water ghouls and all—and they told me I might as well not bother going further up, that some cultivator in white, with—uh, with a distinguished face, had already cleansed the entire basin. I just didn’t expect you to be so young!”

Xiao Yanyi bows his head slightly. He didn’t miss Wei Wuxian’s near-slip, and he can’t say he feels any better about the hasty edit. After such a long time, he should be used to it. Why does it still hurt every now and then? Why can’t he learn to not let it?

“But this is perfect!” Wei Wuxian barrels on, oblivious. “After going to that place, I didn’t think there was a match for me in my generation, but now you’re here. This is brilliant! Want to work together to get the rest of the ghouls?”

Xiao Yanyi blinks, tripped up again.

“You… wish to work with me?” he asks, feeling his way. After all, working with him would mean staying close to him and his ‘distinguished face.’ Surely, this bright young cultivator could not have meant—

“Yes!” Wei Wuxian beams. “You can make it up to me for ruining my perfect ambush—no, it was perfect, I’ll accept no arguments on it! But uh…” He rubs the back of his neck with a rueful grin. “Maybe, we can think of a new plan. For the sake of originality only, obviously—can’t just be living off old masterpieces. What do you say?”

Xiao Yanyi stares at him some more, unable to utter a word. Slowly, he nods.

M, 204k

Summary:

“Make me so ugly that no one will ever want me,” he says. “Please.”

Or: Lan Wangji is kidnapped from the Lan Clan when he's still a small child. He retains no memories of his real identity, and only knows himself as a servant at Madam Ji's brothel. When the clients begin to look at him with interest, he finds someone to curse him and take away his true appearance, and with it any chance of ever finding his family.

(Not a brothel fic, that's only the starting point. A Wangxian story. A Twin Jades story.)

[lwjsbedtime]

This time on AUs I'm Very Passionate About for No Discernible Reason: Galra!WWX x Altean!LWJ

WWX is a Galran warrior who happens to catch Emperor WRH's eye during an interplanetary hunt, and is soon promoted to an honourable position in his personal guard. In fact, he's so impressed with WWX, he wants to clone him for future war purposes.

WWX doesn't know how to feel about this, but one doesn't refuse the emperor to his face, and so he allows himself to be cloned.

Several days later Baby A-Yuan is born. ...Baby A-Yuan is definitely, indisputably part Altean. This poses many questions, most of which WWX would prefer not to answer. 

WRH looks at the newborn cradled in his top scientist, Wen Qing's, arms. He looks to WWX.

"What is the meaning of this?"

WWX shrugs, sneakily relocating the baby into his own arms. "Who even knows? Maybe my great-grandmother took an Altean lover or something?"

WRH accepts the excuse. However, this unfortunately means he cannot clone his best warrior - he refuses to have soldiers who look like off-world scum in his army. He'll have to make do with someone else, but who?

In the meantime, he orders the clone disposed of. WWX is tasked to dump it in empty space. WWX…does not do that.

Upon reaching the dumping location, he turns on his secret (non-standard issue) communication device and calls his most trusted contact, LWJ. LWJ may or may not be the Altean prince he was sent to assassinate in his youth that 'mysteriously survived' a 'fatal stabbing'.

"Wei Ying?"

As soon as LWJ's face fills the display panel, WWX holds up the baby and cries, "Gege, you got me pregnant!"

LWJ freezes for so long, WWX starts to worry the comm is broken, until the prince suddenly relaxes and frowns.

"Do not joke."

WWX whines. "I'm not joking! WRH cloned me, and…uh…" He looks away, flushing. "There must have been some foreign matter in the test sample."

LWJ's reply is stilted. "...Foreign matter?"

WWX chuckles awkwardly. "Anyway, the emperor wants me to kill our son, so I need you to take care of him for a while."

Silence again. WWX flicks the display a few times to make sure it's still working. 

"Our…son…?"

WWX sighs. LWJ seems to be having a hard time with this, but he supposes it IS quite unusual to have a normal, non-erotic meeting with your Galran informant one week, only to find yourself fathering a child with them the next.

"I guess I didn't wash my hands properly after handing you that map?" He supplies apologetically. How was he meant to know something like this would happen? For the first of many times, he distracts LWJ's ire with A-Yuan's cuteness. "Look at him! He looks just like you!"

The baby, who indeed looks exactly like LWJ, with feathered Galran ears, glares up at the screen. LWJ makes a sound deep in his throat that could almost be called panicked, if Altean royalty ever panicked for any reason. His eyes have gone big and round, and his lower lip seems to be trembling a little - most likely with the effort of keeping it from dropping open in surprise.

WWX bites back a giggle. LWJ is so cute sometimes. While the prince maintains eye contact with A-Yuan, WWX inputs his current coordinates into the comm's keypad and sends them to LWJ. "Can you meet me here to pick him up?"

After another tense moment, LWJ nods. "Mn."

WWX breaks into a relieved grin. "Thanks LZ. You're the best!"

He thinks LWJ's ears flush a little then, but can't be sure because the comm cuts out in the next moment, flashing a blazing red [CALL ENDED] notification.

WWX sighs and leans back, bouncing the baby in his lap idly. "What do you think A-Yuan? Isn't your baba the handsomest?"

The baby, less than a day old, looks confused. The baby, being a baby, always seems confused about something. 

"Well, I'm sure if you could see properly, your little heart would've beaten right out of your teeny, tiny chest." He tweaks A-Yuan's nose, then bows his head. "I hope Lan Zhan doesn't get in trouble for this."

----

LWJ arrives only a few hours later, having piloted a fighter jet with a built in warp drive.

"Let me have a go. Please, gege?" WWX simpers and bats his eyes, making LWJ's brows furrow. 

"Come back to Gusu and you may," he says, gently rocking the baby in his arms. WWX never would have thought of LWJ as the paternal type, but he never thought they'd have a child together, either. 

He's so distracted by how easily A-Yuan takes to him that he almost forgets to answer. "Lan Zhan, you know I can't. Not until WRH is dealt with."

LWJ sighs, but doesn't fight him on the matter. "If you are unsafe you should call me regardless." 

WWX can't help but smile. He clutches LWJ's hand, the one resting on A-Yuan's little back. "Of course, gege. Haven't I just done that?"

LWJ stares at the hand touching his until WWX retracts it, and nods. "Mn."

He turns to leave, bundling A-Yuan up into his state-of-the-line spaceship. As he starts the engine, he looks back to WWX, almost smiling when WWX waves at him. Then he turns on the thrusters, and he's gone before WWX can blink, shooting off through the stars at a pace no Galran ship could hope to replicate.

Alone, WWX folds his hand to his chest, his ears drooping low in misery.

"...Take me, too."

He shakes his head and straightens his back. No matter how much he wants to leave with LWJ, he can't. Not until WRH is defeated.

So, he'll just have to dethrone him faster.

----

LWJ, carrying A-Yuan into CR: 😌❤️

LQR: Wangji, what is that?

LWJ: …Clone.

LQR: Whose clone?!

LWJ: …Mine.

LXC: Where did you get a clone?

LWJ's eyes shift to the side.

LXC: Uh...he looks Galran.

LWJ: …Yes.

LWJ walks away quickly.

LQR: WANGJI! EXPLAIN!!

----

LWJ, not long after, carrying WWX into CR like a sack of potatoes: 😌❤️

LQR: WHO is THAT?!! 

LWJ: …C-

LQR: Don't you dare say it's another clone!

LWJ: …

He looks at WWX's fuzzy, pettable ears, and equally fluffy tail.

LWJ: …Rabbit.

LQR: Rabbit?! That is a Galra-!

LWJ starts walking away, a sheepish WWX grinning and waving behind him. 

WWX: Nice to meet you, Uncle!

LQR: UNCLE?!! 💢😱🩸

----

Altean LWJ has haunted me since I read MDZS. I'm finally free! Jks, there's a part ii.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

Hi, Im gonna risk sending an ask even if you delete it but tbh Im interested in simple yes or no answer

Do you think there can be parallel between relationships of rogerray zolu and mishanks? It’s quite common in all of this fandoms to think they are similiar, kinda The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself situation. Strawhat guy and swordsman. Do you see this?

well, you're asking a question that's more interesting to me than just "don't you think [ship i don't ship] is great?" so i'll allow it. and anyway, i love history doesn't repeat itself but sometimes it rhymes things. one of my favorite things to do with multigenerational stories is look for those parallel characters and dynamics.

i think the roger-rayleigh/luffy-zoro parallels and the shanks-mihawk/luffy-zoro parallels are definitely worth thinking about, but it's harder for me to draw the same type of parallel between all three pairs.

see, the similarities between rr and lz are way more about the captain-and-first mate dynamic to me. (i straight up forgot rayleigh carried a sword, lmao, it isn't really his defining trait.) it's asking someone to join your crew without knowing a thing about him. it's devotion, it's loyalty, it's usually but not always understanding him and always following his lead regardless. it's being the relatively reasonable one who's not really reasonable at all. it's the dark king (aka hades) and the demonic ashura standing at the right hand of a man who's always smiling.

sm/lz is more about those strawhat-and-swordsman vibes, since so much of what we know about shanks and mihawk (and the shanks-mihawk dynamic) is inferred or implied through comparisons with luffy and zoro respectively. it's the sunshine/grumpy contrast. it's getting this quiet loner to open up to you in a way he won't to anyone else. it's telling this careless guy he's being an idiot because god forbid you actually tell him you're worried.

[relenafanel]

wangxian HALLOWEEN [part 1]

choose your own adventure!

Modern AU - meet cute (all autumn/halloweeny vibes)

I have energy this month, let’s do a fun activity together. Keep the story going with your choices! I'll write the next part once the day-long poll has finished.

We'll start with the fun part! Where do they meet-cute?

Pick the answer you like best. I encourage you to pick just based on vibes and/or what you want me to have to write rather than what makes the most reasonable plot. It's more fun that way!

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ���⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

It’s a week before his birthday! Wei Ying wakes up and can tell it’s going to be a good day. It might even be a good week! He has plans today to go out later with his siblings. It's rare that they all have a day off, and he's excited that they get to do what he wants to do.

And you never know! He might meet the love of his life in _____

Well. It's unlikely, but it just feels like that kind of day. One where anything can happen. He even woke up early, excited to start the day and go to a _______.

He's also excited it's finally cool enough out that he can put on his boots without sweating to death. Autumn is great!

The other day Jiang Yanli had hinted that she had a cake planned for him next week, and she always gave him the most thoughtful presents of something he'd mentioned needing in passing in like July. He was also looking forward to the PlayStation gift card Jiang Cheng inevitably bought him every year because he overthought things and then panicked.

But, he suspected Jiang Cheng used a vacation day so he could come hang out in ________ with them, so that was all that mattered. Truly. #YunmengBros.

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

Once the poll is finished I'll make a whole new post with the results and copy/paste the story with the continuation. tagged: wangxian halloween pollfic for future reference.

[wangxianficrecs]

Haave you read an mdzs wangxian fanfiction where in the beginning, wei ying, lan zhan and other help jin ling and the jin sect get rid of a curse? And lan qiren doesn't really have a high regard for wy so lz says something that's similar to like 'you'll regret it when its too late'. So as they fight the curse, lz kills the curse but ends up dying because of it. Wy then became distraught, releasing energy while Jiang Cheng hugs him in the back.

So then after a few months, wy is still mourning. He became so depressed he didn't even try to eat and etc, becoming weak and struggling to walk after. So the gang wants to change this. The juniors, jiang cheng, and the lans discovered and made a time travel array to go back and left a note for wy. Wy reading it, ran as fast as he can and went along with them as the arraw activated around them. They travelled back in time when they were teens before everything bad happened. Seeing this, wy was upset at the others for using the array and tried to reverse it. The people from the past were concerned due to wy state. Wy instead of reversing the array and going back to the future, he summoned his lan zhan. All alive and well. He cried as they reunited.

Then the people from the future made the people from the past to watch their future. They then heard a conversation between wy lan xichen who asked how wy actually died. Wy tried to stop it, tried to pull lan zhan's robe to not hear it but failed. They soon discovered that Wy didn't die because of backlash and etc. but he died because he decided to kill himself and turn his corpses on himself. Hearing that, lz was upset and wy, feeling defeated released lan zhan's robe. He and wy then went somewhere private to talk. Lz knew wy was upset and depressed but he didn't think he was suicidal. He told wy that 'but you were healing' then wy said 'i was but then you died lan zhan'.

They had an argument where wy said they shouldn't have even met and that he should have while lz protested. Meanwhile, the people outside heard them shout but they couldn't hear full sentences just words.

Anddd that's all i remember really so can anyone send me the link of this fanfic please? It'll be much appreciated, I've been searching for it for months now but still can't find it. So if you know, please send. Thank you

Hello! The fic you're most likely looking for is

Mo Dao Zu Shi: The Musical by ILikeReading101 (Not Rated, 117k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-it, Song Fic, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking)

~Mod L (whoops, I answered this ask in the wrong blog 😂)