#LUDS WHY IS THIS GETTING DARK???

[sagesilentfire]

Hello, everyone. It's so strange to be saying this, but the last part of SAMATFOE is imminent, and we're getting closer and closer to the End. It's been a really fun five years. (Four to ya'll, but I've been working on this for longer than I've been talking about it publicly!) The cast of characters has expanded dramatically, I've gotten much better as a writer and artist, and I feel I've grown as a person too. I won't stop stalking the svtfoe tag or talking about svtfoe after this is done, don't worry, but I have a lot of non-svtfoe related plans in the future, so if you like Sílthéy and her weird siblings, don't stop following when SAMATFOE is over. 

But as for the actual contents of s5, well, I've got lots of plans. We've got a dark magic plague that's an incredibly transparent metaphor for climate change. We've got Mina playing the oil barons and trying to stop everyone from saving the world for her own personal gain. We've got Glossaryck (capitalism). We've even got the answers to a lot of mysteries and character arcs. Like, so many character arcs. It has been incredibly difficult to stuff all these character arcs into this far-too-short piece of fanfiction. But I hope I did that adequately. 

On a personal note, while hiring a beta/sensitivity reader for a piece as massive as SAMATFOE proved impossible for someone who does not own their own money, I have done a lot more research than I had at seventeen. I wanted the monsters to be more than just badly-done allegories for Native Americans – I wanted them to be people with their own culture, history, and ideas. People who are inspired by real-world Indigenous cultures, but, because they're literally nonhuman, are distinct from them. Whether or not they could count as Indigenous is discussed in-text, but I do not come to an actual conclusion because I want my readers to draw their own. It's not my place to say whether colonized space aliens could be Indigenous. And their connection to the land and to magic is drawn from their shared knowledge, not mysticism, and their culture is idealized because a caring godlike entity helped them to that, not because they're better than anyone. I hope to demonstrate that they are all people, first and foremost. Because we're going to be spending time in Septarsis! So much time! And Toffee has officially been promoted to main character status! It's Star and Marcie AND the Forces of Evil, babey!

But there's a lot of characters here. So, for the second and final time, 

Dramatis Personae:

Star - Star doesn't know what to do. She has everything she ever wanted, even if she doesn't realize it. She has no future responsibilities, having passed that to Eclipsa, but she is still special and important, being the most powerful magic-user ever to exist and the only one who can fix the dark magic, and Toffee doesn't even seem to hate her. Sílthéy does, though, and that is a sticking point. Star is much less oblivious now, though even her oblivious former self would probably pick up on the bad vibes Sílthéy is actively sending her way. She wants everyone to see how hard she's working to make everything better, but Sílthéy doesn't, and that is unbearable. Add that to Shinjai avoiding her and Marcie growing distant, and she has very little time for introspection, even if that would help fix things.

Marcie - Marcie is done with Mewni. She can't believe she believed the Butterflys' lies for so long. She's going to devote herself to Septarsis as fervently as she did Mewni. She just... she doesn't want to bother anyone, or take anyone's time. Why should she get attention paid to her, when there are stronger and smarter magic users out there who could do so much to actually help the world? Marcie is small and useless, and clearly so easily tricked. Better to work on herself before she brings anyone else into her orbit. Also, Star keeps making bad decisions, and Marcie's boundaries are pushing her away too... maybe it's better to do everything alone.

Ludo - Ludo is having a great time! He's earned the trust of some of the monsters in the Avarius village, his plumbing has been fixed, and Pemma is teaching him how to use the Avarius Beacon! Certainly nothing bad is going to happen to him or anyone he cares about! :D

Buff Frog - I'll confess here: Buff Frog is not a huge part of s5. He'll appear in the finale, but he's not a fighter anymore, and lives a peaceful life in Septarsis. He still has fond feelings for Star, but he's not too worried about her. She's strong, and he has twelve young froglets to take care of. She'll be fine on her own... right?

Toffee - Una'met Co'tzin-Nekohtzaca, Last Child of Old Septarsis, The Forces of Evil, Kéta'cha For the Dragon of Space, is doing FINE. They're definitely not five bad seconds away from a total mental breakdown, definitely not, that would be bad for everyone involved, and they are a calm, peaceful, certified not-doing-bad-things-er. The fact that everyone is almost certainly going to die a horrible death from dark magic is fine. They just have to cram thirty-plus years of training into the rapidly-dwindling time before the entire multiverse is dead. They barely know Star Butterfly, except that she's too good for things like "basic training" and "reading." How are they going to do this? And why won't Sílthéy tell them why she caused this in the first place? Well, they do know one thing, which is they can't tell Star about that.

Jackie - Jackie is done with Star Butterfly. She's talked to... someone, and done some digging, and that only served to verify the book she was given in s4. She doesn't know anything about Mewni save for what the book told her, but she can't believe that she trusted the family that doomed her dimension.

Janna - Janna doesn't like this apocalypse. No chance of survival is boring. So she's going to do what she can to help out. Also, she's been keeping her own secrets, secrets that might hold the key to survival.

Tom - Tom isn't angry anymore. He's not angry at Eclipsa for keeping Miquiz locked up, he's not angry for the Butterflys for spreading the dark magic that's thrown the Underworld into chaos, he's not angry that he keeps being left out of things. He's. Not. Angry. Anymore!

Moon - Moon didn't kill her mother. She didn't. It was Toffee, Toffee who couldn't come up with some loophole, Toffee who couldn't forget a conversation that happened when they were a child, Toffee who aimed the arrow at Comet's chest. And her holding onto anger isn't what's driving Star away from her, it's Toffee. They're the one driving her daughter away from her! But as cold reality and remaining dark secrets loom behind her, her brittle facade is beginning to crumble.

Glossaryck - Glossaryck misses when he and Star got along. Yeah, he's destroying her dimension, and everyone in it, and her, all to win kudos from his family, but it really sucks that Star won't give him the time of day anymore. He used to be her wise old mentor! Geez, she was going to die anyways, that's what mortals do! Might as well get along before it happens!

River - River is tired of being left out of the loop. He doesn't know what's going on. He doesn't know what to do. Moon barely speaks to him, she's always busy with Eclipsa, or whatever. But he might be the thing Moon needs, if she would only let him in.

Angie - Angie doesn't know if she should have had Mariposa. Sure, Mari is wonderful, and she loves her, and she DID NOT have a baby to replace Marcie dear god why were the svtfoe writers like that – *ahem* but the multiverse is ending, and Mariposa is just a baby... she didn't want to bring a baby into this world just to have them all die.

Rafael - Rafael is worried about Star. He's worried there's nothing he and Angie can do to help her. He's worried about Marcie. She seems really stressed about the dark magic. But he's the calm, goofy dad, so he's going to keep being that, and praying it'll help somehow. 

Mariposa - Mariposa is fresh to the world, and doesn't understand much of anything yet. But everyone is worried she won't survive long enough to understand the world at all.

Kelly - Kelly is chilling. Apparently Star and Marcie are off on a trip to Septarsis, but that's none of her business as long as art classes and hangouts with Nova and Jorby go well. She might drop by to visit, though.

Miss Heinous - Saint Olga is dead. Miss Heinous's one reason for existing, her greatest love and greatest enemy, the robot who raised her, is dead. What does Miss Heinous do now?

Meteora - Meteora's doing great. She's won popular opinion, she's training to be a true Crown Princess, or at least a high-ranking official, if Sílthéy's democracy takes off. She's stepped into her role as a leader, far more than her mother could claim. But that's fine. Not everyone is suited for leadership.

Eclipsa - Eclipsa has an albatross around her neck. She is doing her best to ignore it, to be a good queen, to love her people, but... she cannot get away from the child she killed. Would it be easier if she was just always evil, not done one evil act out of rage and grief? Well, she knows what happened to her mother. What does she do now?

Globgor - Globgor is doing his best. He's a little miffed by Sílthéy mistrusting him, as her first big act of s5 will be to demonstrate how little he's valued as a Legitimate Voice of the Monsters, but really, who can complain. There's so much else going on, who cares if he fades into the background?

Shinjai - Shinjai gets the wand. Shinjai does not want the wand, and the circumstances surrounding her getting the wand are ridiculous, but she gets it, and she hates it, and she can't control it. Unlike Star, her inability to control the wand makes her not want to use the wand at all lest she hurt someone with it. Oh, and Star keeps wanting to teach her fun spells now that she's been handed this nuclear bomb of a magic wand, and Shinjai does not want to deal with Star. She hasn't forgiven Star. She doesn't want to forgive Star. She'll ignore Star as much as she can, and focus instead on Alice and the teen militia, which is much more fun. She loves Alice. She loves learning to fight, learning to battle the most dangerous people in the multiverse and win WITHOUT the help of a wand. She'd be doing great, if her past would stop knocking at her door.

Rasticore - Rasticore's worried about his partner. Una is fraying at the seams trying to fix everything, and he has the feeling they're not telling him something. But what else is new? He'll wait. He has friends to make, a new teenage militia to help train, and a Miss Heinous to keep from destroying Septarsis stone by stone. He's endlessly patient. When Una wants to talk to him, he'll be there for them. He just... has... to... wait...

Mina - Mina is trying to destroy the world. She doesn't tell her followers that, no, they don't even know the dark magic is a thing, but she wants Glossaryck to win and the Solarian Age, of which she is the last remnant, to end everything with it. So she'll destroy the world, and fulfill Solaria's dream of taking the Forces of Evil with her.

Lilacia - Lilacia is, somehow, a spoiler. Like, legitimately, the Princess Formerly Known as Ponyhead's role in s5 is a spoiler, and not for magic power-up speech cliché reasons. But she's still her dumb, ditzy self, of course.

Still Unnamed Mystery Character - "Stella" is still mysterious, but I promise you we'll get who she is and her backstory in this part ;)

Alice - Alice is wary of the new Mewman presence on the outskirts of Septarsis. She knows why they're there, but she's still extremely suspicious. She does not want them to hurt Septarsis. But she doesn't know that the true danger comes a little closer to home.

Teyauh - Teyauh is also a spoiler, but she'll be there!

Linda - Linda loves her wife, and will follow her anywhere, but Teyauh will have to accept that her knees don't work how they used to, so Linda will have to follow in a suit of POWER ARMOR, BABY!

Nova - Nova is part of the Nuxalkmc, an Indigenous tribe native to the Northwestern Turtle Island, and she loves that about herself. Now that Kelly and her dimensional scissors are here, she can finally explore the multiverse to find new places and see if they're anything like home. Septarsis is one of those places, and she loves it at first sight.

Dr. Edevane - Dr. Edevane is a doctor. He and Toffee have a lot to nerd out talk about together. He will be useful, too.

Dennis - Dennis is busy reigning in dozens of siblings, including Ludo. It's a busy life, but a happy one. Nothing bad whatsoever will happen to him! (I'm lying)

Chloe - Chloe doesn't know this "Star Butterfly" person, but she's very suspicious. But man, Mewni would be such a cool place to visit... so much magic! ...No, she needs to concentrate on being mad. And she is mad. She wants Earth to be like Mewni, like it deserves to be.

Hekapoo - Hekapoo doesn't like her dad's plan. He says it'll work out, it's fine, but the plan is... questionable. She doesn't like it. And she definitely isn't getting conflicting feelings about puppeteering her brother around, either...

Rhombulus - Ṯ̶̡̧̧̡̧̠͉̻̦̜̭͚̰̪̣̬̠̦̲̹̯̯̮̹̰̺̣̳̬̳̬͙̙̞̹͚͖̼̲̰̼̻̭͇̘̻̹͔̝͌͐̀̇̓̀́̄̇̓̊̚ͅH̶̛̠̽̎̇̽̉̃̔͒̽̈́͌͝Ȩ̸̢̧̛̛͔̭͍̪͈͚̮̘͙̭̳͍̺͖̗͇͍̘̱̉̽͑̆̌̓̆͛̓̌̈́̐̾͑̅͂͗̔̽̌̋̈́̎̈́́̓̓͌̆̄͐̀̋̅͂̒̓̔͗̈͊̊͆̄̒͘͘̚͘͝͝͠͠͠͠ͅ ̷̧̪̰͈̺̯̳̙̳̹̙̣͔̗̜̫̗̲̠̙̝̠̯̻̯̩͈͇͉̞̙͙͈̲̻̹̰̳̣̤̣̀́̐͆͜͜͜ͅͅK̵̨͎̙̩͓̘͇̳̩̲̝̳̼̖̯̘͖̹͙̪̰͙͔̤̭̘͖̖̪̬͓͚̫̦̝̠͍̙̊͛̏̈́͛́̒̈́͂͜͜͜͝ͅÍ̸̡̧̨̨̥͍̮̮͇̟͈͙̩̥͙̥͖͚͉̬̟̻̹̰̟̘͓̪̦̹͈̺̤̜̣̺͉̘͕̮̲͓̳͍͈͍̜̯̯̘̪͙̩͛́̐̆̈́͗͋̔̐̒̌̚͜ͅT̵̨̟̲̑̅̑̕̚T̶̨̨̨̛̞͖̻̖̞̹̜͉̦͓̣̠̗̘̣̺̲̹̘̻͎̤̝̤̜̞̜̳̭͎̲͙̮͓͕̼͇̘̃̈́̑̅͐̆͛͊̎̀̈́̔̐̂͛͒̎̕͜͜Ę̴̟̻͍͓̲̙͙̬̺̖̘͎̺̯͐̍̀͊̊̃̃̐̒̊̽̅̉̒̇̎̒͗͆̓͋͂̍̎̈̓́́͌̈͌̕͘̕̕͜͝͝͠͝͝Ņ̷̡̥͕̞̘͙͇̪̺̯͕̪͖̗̙͖̭̻̳͙͖̯̺̟̳̟̪̼̤̞̘̯̘̥̏́̊̾̓̀͐̑̈́͛͊͜͝͝͝S̸̨̨̨̡̤͕͚͈̻̯̫̯̦̖̣͈͔͉͚̠̪̮͚̳͈͇̯̱̯̙̙̬͎̝̪̬̦̙͇̝̲̤̰̃͒̓͒̾̀̋̎̊̈̀́̐̎̇͜͝ͅ ̵̧̧̛̣͉͕̤̻͔̰̜̺̮̘̞̠͓͚̹̗͒͐̽́̆̈́́̏̀̎̋͌̔́̌͗̎̍̉̀̃͌͂̎̽̿̃͂̎̽̌̈́̄́̀́̓̿̅́̎͆̾̆͑͌̔̿̑́́̕̕̕͝͝͝M̸̢̡̨̭͓̘͙̟̩̦͎̤̟̮̤͍͔̝̑̀̅̊̑̊́̂̈͑̽͋̃̑͋͐̆͆͊̈́́̋͑̋͜͝I̸̡̛̖̺͇͎͕̗̹̦̦̻̻̙͈͔̮̭̤̺͚͙͙͖̱̙͚̣̼̠̺̘̐̄͋͒̒͗̎̓͐͗͛̊̀̓̄̅̆̇̐͒̄̌̔͗̒̎̃̒̊̍̋͐̊͛͘͠͝͝͠S̴̨̡̡̨̲̖̺̭̺̱̰͎͓͇̰̙͙̩̯̺̖̲̥̜͖̦̙̹̜̻͙̠͉͇̲̲͍̞͚̭̯͕͋͐̌̾̈́̄͐̇̔͜͝͝Ş̴̢̨̢̝̬̤̯̗̞̳̟̞̲̠̮͇̻͙͖̻̜̺̘̑̑̆̈́̇͋͗͒͒́̅́́̚̕͝ ̷̨̡̡̛̛͚̩̣̠̠̹̘̟̼̘̤͇͖͓̙̺̙̮͚̫̺͖̠͇͙̏̆̋̆̀̅̓̔͋̐̐͛̃̾̃̿̓́̑̇̏̈̉͊̂̍̾͑̐̈́̀̑͑̈́̏͗̇͋̀̆́̍̊̃̀͐͘̚̚͝͝͝͠͝ͅͅḨ̶̨̧̻̺̟͚̠͍̗͙̗̹͇̗̦͔͕̮̦͖͔̝͚̟̖̖͉̾̔͒̓̋̀̔̅̿̈̑͆̀̇̇̄̈́́͋̿͐͆̔̂̈́͋̈́̊̊̈́̓̈́͋̕͘͝͝͝I̷̡̡̢̨̹͎̼̻̖̗̭̫̩̣̬̻̦̠̗̰̥͕̗̟̯̰͉͙̯͖̦͚̟̖̞͍̦̙̯̲̲̖̲̲̜͚̓̍͜ͅM̶̧̡̢̧̧̙̥̭̲̖̦͙̘̙͈͓͖̩̜̦͍̦̘͍̘͕̳̜̱͚̥̹͓͕͉͔͕̫̺̮͕̳͖͉̭̺͙̠͖̥͕͖͙̜̉͑͛̎̓̈́͐͋̐̀̏̊̀̽͋̈́͊̄͌̋̌̐̓̄̉̓͒̕̕͝͠͠͝ͅͅͅ

Reynaldo - Reynaldo looks and looks and he does and does, but he does not win this bet. It is the thing he wants most, that he will do all sorts of terrible, horrible-things-that-make-him-want-to-throw-up to get. What is it? 

Omnitraxus Prime - Omni will do anything to protect the multiverse. Including trusting zir dad, who is looking more untrustworthy by the day, and trusting Mina, who was never trustworthy in the first place. Mina has much more training than Star, and strong magical ability from spending three hundred years close to the wand, and it's the best option... right?

Necahua - Necahua is a mess currently, and being a mess leaves you more open to mistakes. Uh oh! Una still loves them, though. 

In fact, I made a short story in my creative writing class about the relationships between Una'met, Necahua, and Cayeto, since I feel they got overlooked in the main story. Yes, no one in my class had any idea what was going on. I'll post it next, before chapters 1 and 2 of s5.

Cayeto - Cayeto is also in the short story. He doesn't play a huge role in the main plot, but he is just another reason Toffee does the things they do. He died hoping that Una and Necahua, specifically, survived, and Necahua died, so he does not have the best grip on reality.

Xocochiapal - Xoco is the de-facto ghost leader of the ghosts now. No legislation without representation, right? Toffee does most of the work, but she's in charge when they can't address a thing right away. She was right despite everyone else blindly going to their deaths, and now everyone knows it. She also was the highest-ranked Septarian to become a ghost, and her hatred of the Mewman occupation is a clear and strong motivation.

Tecoloa - Tecoloa is the voice of reason. The good one. She died protecting her elementary school class from the worst of the heat, and that caring nature has translated into protecting everyone she can. 

Sílthéy - Sílthéy is a character now, and OH BOY is she happy about it. She hates Star and will never get over it, and she loves to remind Star of that fact. She feels immense guilt for what happened with Septarsis, and will never get over that, either. She is a mess, but she's been hiding her messiness for 0/0 years, so she's a pro. And it's not like anyone here can stop her from being a mess, can they? So she'll go on being a mess in her corner, and she'll be fine. Her hobbies include storytelling, dissing Star, and doing the most bizarre stuff in the background of any given scene. She owns her weirdness. She's annoying, but that just makes her more fun to write.

Mocel - Mocel is mad at Eclipsa. She's mad at all Mewmans, really. She cares a lot about Miquiz, and she hates that he's locked up while she, with her lightweight ash body, can sneak out whenever she likes. The world isn't fair, and she knows it.

Miquiz - Miquiz is dying a second time. The dark magic wound on his chest is expanding. He doesn't want to leave, not without seeing the sun again, but he may not have a choice. He doesn't want to leave without saying something to Eclipsa, but again, no choice. He doesn't know what to do.

Tecolo - Tecolo is just vibin. He wants to see Ludo again, and he will, but he's mostly busy having fun with his dead and living relatives after centuries floating in the void.

[blazingstar24]

Random Ludinus Headcanons B/C I’m fucking insane 😌

It’s break week so y’all have to suffer with me and my brainrot ✨ Pulled some of these based off character ask prompts

Headcanons:

- Ludinus can cook, it’s an uphill battle to actually pull him away from his work to eat an actual meal, but he can cook. Nothing fancy, more practical. Being the head of the CA and knowing a lot about what kind of training the Volstruckers do, I think he wouldn’t really let anyone else prepare his food. Barring of course his own magical servants (like with Caleb’s tower cats) He’s not really that scared of being poisoned, he’s probably immune to most at this point, but he’s also not about to set 1000 years of planning into flame because he dropped his guard down on something. Imo he also knows a lot of practical skills despite being rich and powerful since he lived through the Calamity and had to survive in dnd apocalypse times.

- Characters from other media that I think has Ludinuscore vibes: Sauron, Lord Shen(KP2), Sephiroth, Luke Castellan, Swain(LoL), and ironically Chronos (Hades 2)

- Before Dominox, Ludinus was resolute in his goals. Post Dominox, he’s still resolute but there’s this nagging feeling that’s haunting him. Of course Downfall reignited his rage and hatred but now the sacrifices to get to this point is fresh in his mind and not buried with the centuries of time. And he’s returned to Ruidus and the exultants are dwindling and he’s returned to Liliana and…he gives her a different task to do instead of pulling the trigger again because the weight of the sacrifices have smacked him in the face again. He’s wavering and his outburst at Zathuda, at the Unseelie is him trying to regain control of not just the plan but over himself. If he can just tap back into the rage and the feeling that it’s all worth it…

- Ludinus didn’t really like anyone in the CA and was probably lowkey happy to ditch them. He’ll take the support and use them as pawns of course, but he hates them for one not matching up to the CA of yore and also because their ambitions were small and they were basic ass hubris wizards. Lud has said he sees power as a tool, he differentiates himself from them in the idea that he is being utilitarian about his power gains. It’s to serve a purpose for all, not just him. Hence why he vibed better with Liliana and Otohan over Zathuda because the latter just reminds him of the CA and in his opinion, small lackluster goals and grabs for power.

- Ludinus would not last one minute in an Among Us lobby. His ass would be voted out even if he wasn’t the imposter. He would always get killed first. He would be mad af that people aren’t doing their tasks. And if he was playing with proximity mod, he would be bullied by Jester and Fearne. And maybe Chet still asking about Molaesmyr.

- His spellbook is incredibly fucking messy—to everyone else. Not that he would share it with anyone. A lot of it is written in an older form of Elvish that isn’t used anymore/no one alive to remember it. He has his own organization system. Honestly it’s akin to how the Journals are in Gravity Falls

- Ludinus definitely a winter person and hates summer. He’s built for colder temperature and if he wasn’t an all powerful and rich wizard who can regulate the temperature in his house, he would fucking die in the summer.

- Because of the fey eating shenanigans, Ludinus’ eyes glow in the dark like a cat’s. His pupils also do the dilation thing.

[leprosycock]

i think what’s really wonderful is how despite the fact that i’ve been shipping jlud since dollhouse, they weren’t really, like. friends? for a long time, they were coworkers with an extremely dark and twisted mutual psychosexual obsession with each other. they didn’t really become good friends until much later. but now they are, very much so, they’re unbelievably close and they care about each other tremendously and even people who aren’t totally poisoned by rpf can see that. they’re now close to the point where they aren’t terrified to touch each other and jrma doesn’t fall apart and blush and stutter by being in the same room with him. they play off each other so well and their chemistry is so palpable and smooth and engaging to watch. there was a very long time where we never thought we were going to hear lud call jrma “jeremy” and last night, we got it twice, the first time because lud was teasing and admonishing him and the second time because he was just so excited to hear him speak. lud said after the streamer awards that he’s “too confident” to let other people’s opinions influence him and they never carry any weight, but jrma’s do and his praise makes lud feel “warm” and that’s why he needed j there last night, beginning to end, starting the stream by calling him a Fucking Rockstar on twitter and ending it with not a picture of any of the contestants, none of the crew, none of the commentators, but himself and j. last night never could’ve possibly happened and ended the way it did if their relationship hadn’t progressed and flowered the way that it had throughout this very, very wonderful year they’ve experienced getting to know each other inside and out and i’m so endlessly grateful that i got to see it

[multifandomfern]

German Bros Week Day 6: Nightmare

@germanbrosweek

AO3

Ludwig stared at his brother's body. Gilbert was cold and still, his red eyes staring into nothing.

"G-Gilbert?" Ludwig stuttered, seeing but not believing. Gilbert wasn't really...he couldn't be..."But I am," said Gilbert. The words didn't come from his body. Ludwig turned around. In front of him was Gilbert.

"This isn't funny," Ludwig said, sternly. Gilbert just gave him a look while Ludwig assessed what exactly was in front of him. It was Gilbert, but he was transparent. He was taller too somehow. Ludwig looked down and saw that Gilbert's feet were hovering above the ground. He let out a small gasp.

"I'm dead, Ludwig. Want to know why?" The ghost-Gilbert asked, his voice laced with ice. Ludwig just stared. How was...this couldn't be real! His heartbeat still got faster though.

"It's because of you. You've destroyed me, Ludwig. You let Prussia die, your own brother." Ludwig couldn't speak. Gilbert couldn't be dead, he couldn't, he still had to be alive! It was a cruel joke or maybe he was hallucinating! This didn't make any sense and yet...it did.

"Yes brother," Gilbert spat the word like he was saying an enemy's name.

"You killed me. You let my nation die, you let me become mortal. This is all your fault. If you had been stronger, better, I would still be there with you! But now I must go on to the afterlife and leave behind the many adventures I COULD'VE HAD!" Gilbert screamed. His red eyes burned with fury and hatred. Ludwig stepped back in horror.

"I...I..." He couldn't get himself to speak. He didn't know what to think. Gilbert had died, and Gilbert hated him. Ludwig felt tears prick his eyes. Maybe if he had been better, Gilbert would still be alive! Maybe he could've brought Prussia back!

"Farewell Germany. Have fun taking what would've been mine," Gilbert hissed before starting to completely fade away.

"Wait!" Ludwig called, desperately. Gilbert couldn't leave! He needed to apologize, he needed more time! Ludwig fell to the floor devastated when Gilbert only shot him a final glare before vanishing. Tears slipped down his face, and Ludwig hated himself for being so weak.

Ludwig opened his eyes and slowly sat up. He was in his bedroom. It was nighttime. Of course it had only been a dream! A bad dream. A nightmare. Only a nightmare, Gilbert was alive and well. Ludwig hadn't failed him after all. Ludwig rubbed his eyes, surprised when he felt wetness. Had he really been crying in his sleep? Ludwig wanted to scold himself, but he couldn't. It had been a horrible nightmare, one that would make anyone cry. Though would Gilbert have cried? Ludwig wasn't sure. His big brother could be pretty emotional, but he almost never cried. Would Ludwig be worth crying over? Maybe he could go ask-

Nein! Ludwig didn't need to go wake Gilbert up! He was a grown man, he could figure out his own problems! The blond sighed. He should've been getting back to sleep. It had only been a nightmare, he didn't need to keep thinking about it, but the stupid thing wouldn't leave his mind. He didn't even want to be thinking about it! He still did though, and the more he thought about it, the more worried he got about Gilbert. Before realizing what he was doing, Ludwig grabbed his pillow and headed to his brother's room.

He walked in quietly, knowing Gilbert was a light sleeper. He felt immense relief when he saw Gilbert's chest slowly rise and fall. Gilbert was there, and he was alive. It had only been a nightmare after all. That was it, confirmation, Ludwig could go back to his own bed now. Yet he couldn't. Something could happen. He could get another nightmare or a nightmare could happen in Gilbert's room. Ludwig couldn't take that chance.

"B-Brother?" He stuttered, taking a few steps closer. Gilbert groaned, the familiar name pulling him from his sleep. He sat up and let his eyes adjust to the dark.

"Hey Lud, what's up?" He asked, sleepily. Ludwig wasn't sure what to say. He was being ridiculous, Gilbert was fine. Gilbert didn't need him. He didn't need Gilbert.

"You okay?" Gilbert asked, worriedly. Ludwig was grown, he just had to lie and go back to bed, that's all he had to-

"I had a nightmare," Ludwig found himself admitting. Gilbert moved over patting the space next to him.

"Come on," he said. Ludwig moved forward then stopped himself. Gilbert has taken that better than he expected, but that didn't mean he should act like a child. Gilbert patted the space again.

"It's alright, kleiner," he coaxed. Ludwig slowly got into the bed. It was just too tempting. He adjusted, moving closer to Gilbert and keeping his pillow close by. Gilbert moved an arm around Ludwig and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Want to tell me what your nightmare was about?" he asked.

"Please no."

"Alright, but I'm right here if you need to. Got that? I'm here if you need me."

"Thank you, big brother," Ludwig whispered, too comfortable to care anymore. He could act like a kid again for one night. It has been a horrible nightmare after all. He shut his eyes and slowly drifted back into sleep. Gilbert laid awake, glad to have Ludwig close to him and hear his soft snores. He would ask Ludwig more about the nightmare in the morning. For now they could lay in peace.

Gilbert sighed to himself as a selfish desire crossed his mind. He hoped Ludwig would get more nightmares in the future. He wanted Ludwig to come to him, so he could offer his brother comfort. He hadn't been able to do it for a long long time with how quickly Ludwig had become an adult. Gilbert really missed it, but that wasn't his only reason though. He hoped that the longer Ludwig seeked comfort from him, the longer Gilbert would be needed. The longer Gilbert would be needed, the longer he would get to stay and watch his little brother grow.

[earlyspringtranscendence]

asking a bunch of numbers for the book ask, hope that's okay! 2, 3, 4, 11, 19, 22, 24 ❣️ happy new year!

very much ok my beloved <3 happy new year to you as well!! i hope your year is filled with love and joy and good stories <33

2. did you reread anything? what?

i actually re-read quite a lot this year.. i reread too like the lightning by ada palmer, stockholm syndrome by richard rider (iykyk, this one was a really good re-read bc it's been like 5 years or so and i wanted to know if it'd still make me see shrimpcolours... it did, but mostly also for the nostalgia factor) silence of the lambs & red dragon by thomas harris (also gave me shrimpemotions but it always does), senlin ascends by josiah bancroft, havemercy & shadow magic by jaida jones and danielle bennett (so i could finally read dragon soul), the lava in my bones by barry webster, the secret history by donna tartt, american gods by neil gaiman, the city & the city by china miéville... that's 11/74 books from this year, that's such an insanely high re-read count for me, i completely hadn't realised this!

3. what were your top 5 books of the year?

the scar by china miéville (surprising no one), the silence of unworthy gods by andrew rowe, the left hand of darkness by ursula k. le guin, lud-in-the-mist by hope mirrlees, liverpool by james worthy

i answered 4 on my main blog @heartyearning !

11. what was your favourite book that has been out for a while but you now read?

all but one of the books in my prev top 5 are from non-recent years so excluding all of those i also read lolita this year and loved it so much.

19. did you use your library?

i did not (boos from the audience) but i did use the library/lending function on archive.org and project gutenberg. and the library that is my mother's bookcase

22. what's the longest book you read?

most likely kushiel's dart by jacqueline carey! the audiobook came in at about 31 hours i believe.

24. did you DNF anything? why?

i DNF'ed a LOT of things this year for no particular reason. most of the DNF's i still have lying around and plan to get back to, it's been a very chaotic reading year for me and i've put stuff down very often and just fallen out of the habit of reading it, or started reading something else and then forgot, that sort of thing. the only conscious dnf that i can think of right now is perhaps the stars by ada palmer, and i dnf'ed it because it deals with graphic descriptions of war and even though it's space war and completely fictional etcetera i just couldn't stomach it. it felt really horribly in poor taste to be reading a fictionalised account of war in which there are dramatic story beats and so on to follow — to be clear, a lot of stuff i read is fantasy so i read about war all the time and i don't generally think its morally wrong to write about fictional war, but it just felt. so wrong.

[castle-dominion]

c3x20 a slice of death

I love this episode already. I've worked in family owned diners with rivalries, I love stories about italian new yorkers & I've definitely seen goncharov (tho that also had russian mafia).

Poor alexis, that is humiliating! This is so sad! Who has a live band playing? She's 17 cool. She was 15 in s1e1 & she's 17 near the end of s3. Cool

I love all the nicks & their names this is the life. It reminds me of that steven universe episode with the fry shop & pizza shop.

Not super funny, either of you. Nick Jr. Uh, authentic, not terrific. I love the new york pizza scene & how everyone knows who is whom but it's so confusing & I loved this episode so much when I first watched it

Oh but I kept her number! I don't think there's going to be a second date. So new york. So italian. This Is The Best Episode Ever. Exactly! Who wrote this episode??? It is amazing!

Maybe they did get it from a medical school, you don't know beckett!

They used the same audio already. I mean it's not a big deal.

Costumes: Rick: brown coat (gasp browncoat?) & violet/blue shirt Ryan: tbh he looks like he did in s1 a bit. idk why. So what looks like an aviator jacket, nice dark brown, leather looking, has the fuzz in the hood/collar, no lapels, dark brown tie, actually a good brown, & a plaid-type dress shirt (purple, maybe another shade of purple idk, probs black & white in there too, maybe grey & blue & pink... idk I'm not good with this... I think it's brown actually) Espt: Leather jacket & normal collared shirt underneath. It's like, safari style almost. Collared so it is fancy enough for work, but the put-together of the blocks is odd. Beckett: Detective coat. (double breasted light grey trench coat looking thing)

Castle: We should talk to the other Nicks. Ryan: He's right. Pizza is serious business in this town. (Remember that mafia family who used the pizza shop as a front but then became legitimate bc the pizza was so good?) Beckett: Ok you can talk to them. Ryan: wait; Me? no; why? (why is he upset at this...? I'm also rly sad castle didn't go with him)

Pottery kiln? Like Joy from the The Cat Who series! She made red ceramics & when I say she MADE red ceramics...

RM: I heard you found a body in the oven at terrific nick's KB: Authentic nick's RM: OH THANK GOD, the wife loves terrific nick's lmao full bodied flavour (btw yes I do indeed love his jacket)

Castle that's a heck of a leap & the audio reflecting the mood XD Gordon BURNS??? b'y the pic would have also been melted.

Oh. Poor man. Hugs to him. Oh not the pizza wars XD.

Terrific, authentic, & otherwise.

Sounds like u'r talking from experience espt. Did you survive firefights with gangbangers & then got killed doing a speeding ticket? & then came back to life to join homicide so u could investigat ur own death?

Nice handkerchief, murdoch vibes. KB: U ok? RC: Yeah no yeah... I wonder if he ever did that with alexis, had her colouring while he was signing books. Espt had that much information thrown at him in that short amount of time he was gone? Poor ryan, exiled to work talking to all the other nicks, & then exiled again to work computer stuff Wrong nick bro XD I thought he meant nick jr.

Hold the extra cheese wasn't funny.

Oh def steal the oven. Ah yes italian new york mobster money laundering in a pizza place? So the captions are willing to put nada in the captions here but put "speaking spanish" last episode when esposito said it? Seriously? Seriously?? You couldn't write "nada"? Like at this point it's a loanword & everyone knows what it means, but even so you should still write down everything that is said. Not translated, not "speaking [language]" but the actual words.

Like how he says "luds" for L.U.D.s I love his fake little accent he does "i'll kill ye"

True. You can't threaten to kill someone, it is not covered in free speech. It's the fat isn't it.

You can find out where things are from a phone call on a cell? That's sus af.

Tips the concierge even tho u'r not really here. Love it. Rick speedreading moments. Who would write nicely like that & then spend an entire page of notebook on two lines of writing? RC: *sees a cool new app* KB: no RC: Fine but you don't get to play my angry birds! Ok that was the funny one, the only funny one. I wonder if they had pizza!

Still do! (he's literally an author)

So WHEN were u in a relationship? fate <3 (except he withheld the information abt the story he was working on for a reason, if you've seen it before like me u can see why.)

Ryan with the financials! How big are new york blocks?

Woah a nice transition! Cool!

Nice heck yeah party crasher!

Woah language but martha is right. She's totally allowed to swear in this situation. It's like the kitchen. No swears at my catholic school unless you were working an event with the culinary program & physically in the kitchen. RC: Bitch! *realizes what he said & covers mouth*

Aw cyberbullying...

RC: Where's beckett? KR: Uh, Hall of Records. Tracking down what Burns was looking for. (Pink shirt : ) & also a vest, he looks pretty) RC: Great. *hands Beckett's coffee to Ryan* (we know time that ryan & esposito stole castle & beckett's coffee & then switched after one sip that ryan like beckett flavoured coffee & espt likes castle flavoured coffee) RC: Listen, if I gave you a website, could you have your friends at Tech hack into it and take some pictures down? (bribing ryan & not his friends at tech?) KR, taking the paper from castle with a little smile: Did someone find naked pictures of you again? (HOLD ON WHAT? & HAS RICK ASKED RYAN TO DO THIS BEFORE?) KR: *unfolds paper with a lighthearted little smile at castle's antics* RC: No. Not me. It's Alexis. KR: *stops* KR: *thinking someone posted castle's daughter's nudes & now castle is asking him to take them down* KR: *looks up at him with fear in his eyes* (also bc she is 17 her pics would technically be CP & this would be a bigger issue so maybe that's what ryan was thinking. He was thinking they needed to take this to Vice or smth.) RC: This is for Alexis KR: *eyes searching* KR: Uh, this just got awkward. What's this about? (his voice suddenly got hella squeaky) RC: Okay. Mean girl at school kiss ambushed Alexis's boyfriend (ryan nods & makes faces in sympathetic outrage) then posted the photographic proof on her website. Alexis is very upset. KR: Mmm. I-- I could have my friend Tony take care of it. You know, off the record. (Love a good "tony") RC: Thanks. And, uh, no need to mention this to Beckett. You know how she gets with these things (Castle and Ryan smile & start to laugh & go to sip their coffees. Beckett appears and grabs her cup from Ryan.) KB: Things like abusing police resources for your own personal agenda? RC: Whaat? That's ridi-- No, you don-- No. That's-- that's--- (Castle gives Ryan the OK sign as he follows Beckett to her desk. Ryan slips the slip of paper into his vest meaning he's still willing to help out rick & his daughter even w/o the coffee bribery) Yes yes yes castle yes ryan this is an abuse of power but that is so valid & I think it's funny & great & I love it Ryan, trying to act casual after this little thing: Yep?

Espt has a denim-looking dress shirt on what & then beckett has a nice green scarf & longsleeve

Yo the guy's alive??

Ooh I love a good noire film but why say noowahr instead of nwar. RC: I haven't heard the story... Oh... that sucks.. he couldn't even crawl over to hold her. That's got to be traumatic.

Neat, learning abt history. Cool. So Ryan was in narcotics back in '03, he went into homicide in '06 maybe, & then three years later (I might be mixing this up with Ike Thornton's (fake) death tho) as mentioned in I think that very episode, castle shows up: '09. 03 narco, 09 castle shows up & there is a mention of "three years ago" so, 06 ike dies ryan goes into homicide. idk I'm just trying to get a timeline. Anyway, I always love it when they bring back character's pasts before we knew them. & during this Ryan is also fidgeting with his file, point for the adhd ryan headcanon.

Castle never specified HOW to flip it so he could follow the movements. Glad he said to slow it down tho. Is the man left handed?

Alexis got into a fight? Good for her. Oh no castle & ryan & tony got alexis in trouble : ( but also XD Heck yeah girl! Tho yeah rick you're right violence is not the answer "& then one of you ends up dead in a pizza oven" & then he quotes beckett & hugs her. RC: Did u kick her ass? AC: I kind of did RC: Good girl. Good. Even when he tells her retaliation is not the way, he still lets her know.

Bro teenagers ARE criminal masterminds. High school bullies are NOT some dumb-as-bricks doorknob who beats you & but can't chew gum & walk at the same time, they really can be evil geniuses.

Costumes: Castle & beckett are normal, tho I don't like beckett's shirt. Esposito is wearing a boring not-fancy long-sleeve with jeans & ryan is wearing a typical dark blue dress shirt & dress pants, no tie this time, nice grey coat. Really fancy coat too. I like it.

How can you tell someone dialed the numbers for a call but never hit send...? Unless it was already on the phone & they didn't get erased for some reason. Mine closes every time I switch apps.

Esposito, breakin down the doors! Music is great rn! The boys just run out the window

Oh so she IS in with the drug dealers.

She's good. She's really good. I'm speaking from the perspective of having seen this before. It's obvious that he CANNOT be cavallo pretending to be his own right-hand-one. Poor R+E, out of breath from the chase So she DID know those names when castle asked her the first time!

OH MY GOODNESS HOLY CRAP THAT'S A LOT OF FIGHTING & POOR RYAN IN THE MIDDLE TRYING TO GET THEM TO STOP

Castle u really just went back on what u & beckett put ur money on? Whose tab? Whose tab did they put it on? What? Winner winner pizza dinner & wow that's a lot of smack.

He's a pizza man! He would never disrespect his oven like that! It is SO not his speed castle! Oh so you wanted to burn down authentic nick's? Girl if you can call him then that's helping!

See like this is what got my eyes on ryan in the first place, his movements are so weird, like he's walking too big for his body. Oh & again unassuming middleman is dumb

Is she limping? why is she in homicide? I thought she was in narco. also I can't use my question mark button on tumblr anymore for some reason & so it reloaded the page & got rid of a mini fanfictioin I wrote & I am fucking upset. I had added some notes to my liveblog. What the hell tumblr^/ why won't you let me use a proper question mark^/ at least my french é&É still work. Ηοwever, my greek keyboard does not.

Ok sweetheart, just Don't Use Easy-to-Catch Names Calls ryan & esposito the best detectives. Ooh une femme fatale

Love the music & oh no please don't be nick's pizza Oh thank goodness it's stephano's So mature of Alexis OH THAT IS A GOOD LOOKING PIZZA

& it seems like all the bonus features are deleted scenes which I have seen. Yuck tho I don't need to see this.

[awellboiledicicle]

Lud's eyes are Like That because of Mora and Nocturnal fighting over her. Ok more specifically it's Mora after all those damn books when the cult was after her that one time.

No, not that cult, the other-- the dragon one.

She's literally only not in nightengale armor bc a mod for that hasn't been uploaded. In universe of the fic she can just. manifest it from the shadows, so rn she's just slumming it in travel leathers.

Shadowheart thinks she's worshipping Shar when she makes little alters in camp and burns inscense. Lud very calmly explains that Shar isn't a very good goddess of night if you know jack and shit about her. This lead to a vaguely tense but enlightening conversation about aspects of darkness and how they focus on the different ones.

Gale and Wyll are in the background wondering if they signed up with a cultist.

Then Lud tries to understand the planer system and gets a headache. Because listen, she went to the College. She did her studies so she'd understand the shit that could help her in battle and in thieving. But the finer academic points were not her strong suit. She can cast fuck you beam, doesn't really understand how the magic gets from extraplanar sources to her outside of "Magus does it". She does hate the idea of working with Mystra, though. Not even for anything gale related at first, she just hates the idea of asking permission to do what comes innately.

She also accidentally Fus's Gale into the lake by their camp because he insisted he could speak dragon without clarifying he meant draconic, not... whatever the fuck she does.

Wyll's whole warlock deal just strikes her as daedra worship with paperwork. Which she kinda just nods and says she gets it, because yeah. A bit confused why he sold his soul to NOT the biggest baddest player, but she assumes he had a reason.

Speaking of Mizora and by extension Raphael.... they don't know what to actually offer that would be like. fair. for her soul. Because she's a dragon. And while fair isn't usually what they go for, when a divine being is what you're aiming at, you try to get the legalese straight and make it semi-equitable if only so if they get mad at you, their godly relations don't get pissed. Because they don't know how far a god from another plane can reach, but time is not a domain you fuck with. So rules lawyering to get what they want becomes infinitely more tricky. Add in that she knows how to pick through contracts with a fine toothed comb, and Raphy boy is sweating through his doublet during the initial meeting. Mora writhing behind her eyes doesn't help either.

Lud is not really aware of this little fidget happening, because she's principally just generally against sharing out even more of her soul level. Because she's got, technically, spares. Which she hordes. Because if you didn't listen to Paarthy, your soul and skull got to be housed in her manor. And she's very protective of her horde.

Lae'zel reminds her of the Companions. This is both good, because she liked Kodlak, and bad because the rushing in headlong to fight is exhausting. There's tactics, sure, but managing where she is makes Lud tired. Mostly because if they HAVE to be killing people, at least do so swiftly. Lae'zel is, by dint of the size of her weapon and her armor weight, going to move slower than her. Which means not getting too far or too close to her. It's a thing. Learning how young she is turns it into "oooh, murder child" "I am no child." "Relatively, you are child."

Astarion meanwhile has to deal with her peering over his shoulder while he's practicing his lock picking to be as fast as she is at it. She's doing it to learn how they do it in Faerun, since the locks are designed differently. She's just very good at learning fast, so it looks like she doesn't have to learn. She's going to fuck up a trap disarm and have to deal with him laughing at her, followed by him being loomed over by a very on fire nord that informs him she doesn't appreciate being laughed at.

A fun thing is i'm delighted imagining the boar scene because i can imagine her commenting that vampires don't generally do well eating animals, in her experience. Prompting a "what" from the group, and Astarion to recalculate how he's going to word things. She gestures to the neck of the boar. "Back home, you meet a vampire in woods, it will try to drain you. You meet a vampire in their den, you will find a larder of human bodies. Thralls tending fireplaces. Armed." A frown as she toed the carcass. "Only vampire I have seen eat mostly animal? She does not waste the flesh. I can only assume it was scared off before it could properly finish." "Then we can't waste time getting out of here, can we?" Astarion tucked the idea that she was friendly enough with a vampire to have a present tense explanation of her diet into a corner for now. Because either he was safer than expected, or wildly more unsafe. Lud huffed through her nose and regarded him for a moment with those inky eyes. Like she was knowing something about him in that moment. And he hated it. "What?" With a dismissive wave, her expression eased back into the relaxed smile they'd all gotten used to from her. "We will see what comes. Now, let us find more goblins to kill, yes? If they reach the grove again we will have nowhere to go drinking after."

Karlach is a delight to her, if only because then she can fire breath without worrying about actually hurting the person running out ahead of her. She's also very very quick to catch onto the kind of person Lud is and is wary for about as long as it takes to find Halsin. Because she reminds her of Gortash. The difference, of course, being that Lud is also genuinely cordial until you fuck with her.

I just. [waves hands] having fun

Making a skyrim/bg3 au entirely to make Astarion not know what to do with an equally morally dubious nord that deeply doesn't take anyone's shit.

She is also 40. Because she gets yote to Faerun on one of her "let's go make sure the mages aren't breaking time again" runs post saving things and posturing at the Thalmor.

Shes also a nightingale.

Her name is Lud and she is good

[thevelveteel]

My baby flower, Rosie is back.

((You gotta guess what I mean by the “playground incident”))

[riflewounds]

Whumptober, day 23 | At The End Of Their Rope ("Hold them down.")

Unfamiliar voices. He was waking, surfacing from the depths of the warm darkness, very close to breaching the surface and entering the waking world.

He didn't want to. There was pain and blood and broken bones.

None of which he wanted to deal with.

But the warm darkness didn't want him anymore, it spat him out, and the waking world washed over him. Overwhelming sounds, pungent smell of rot and sandalwood. And cigarettes. And iodine.

Car. No, too big. Back of a van, maybe?

There wasn't much light. Only... a pen light, briefly shining over his face and he winced at the bright light.

"He's awake," an unfamiliar voice stated. Cold and clinical, but it had that gruffness which didn't fit a doctor.

A shuffle by his side, but he didn't look. "That soon?"

Durant blinked. Once, twice. The air was stale and musky, smelling faintly of diesel. Rumble of an engine came from somewhere above him. Above his skull. Right over his scalp. 

"Hey, Charlie. You know where we're going or do you need directions?"

He-- he knew this voice!

There was a bit of dead air before this Charlie replied. "I'm good."

The familiar voice, Fuchs, he turned back to the gunman laid on the floor, one hand resting on his shoulder. "Alright."

Brushing up against the swollen, throbbing hole in his shoulder. Durant whined as his boss poked around the inflamed tissue, it sent sparks of this bone-deep ache down his arm and collarbone, he even felt it in his neck and jaw. A vile, sickening feeling.

"Knock it off," Durant groaned, squirming a little, as if trying to get away. Yet Fuchs didn't exactly stop. Sure, he wasn't moving his fingers around, but they still rested against that swollen mess. Any touch was too much pressure. Even this.

"Dom, Marin, Lud, you guys ready?"

The gunman tried to look around, woozy from the pain. Three guys, none of whom he'd met before, one sat by his arm and the other two by his legs.

Oh he didn't like where this was going. More pain, more broken sounds of agony tearing through his aching throat.

Now, which one was which? All of them looked the same!

Fuchs shifted beside him, finally lifting his hand off the swollen ring of tissue. "Sorry, I don't have anything for the pain."

Figures.

"Alright. Dom, hold him down. You two, pull his legs. On three."

Wait-- "No--"

"One, two--"

"Please--"

"Three!"

The scream that burst out of his lungs was not human. Black spots danced in his vision, his voice snapped in two and he screeched until his throat was painfully raw.

Until his lungs seized as they ran empty.

He couldn't even draw a breath, spine bent as if it was a fucking bow, ready to fire, hands balled into fists so tight he was sure he drew blood, his mouth forced agape with a silent scream before everything got swallowed up by the darkness again.

Sinking in the warm, black waters. An unconditional embrace of some being he couldn't quite perceive. Just that it loved him, its touch was the warmth he chased again and again.

And he got a taste of it once before.

Lishka.

But this imperceptible being wasn't Lishka. It was something older, someone he met years and years ago.

Unconditional love, doesn't matter what he made of himself.

But this being let go of him, he could feel its sorrow as he surfaced again. As he emerged into that fucking van again.

"Did we have to do that!?"

Fuchs uttered a single cold "Yeah."

Utterly disinterested. 

But whoever he spoke to (Dom, maybe?) was growing rather agitated at the callousness. "You're not supposed to pull on a broken leg!" 

"Marin, you kinda have to pull on a broken thigh bone. I've looked it up."

So this guy wasn't Dom, as the gunman initially thought. "Yeah but this isn't how you're supposed to do it!"

Some merciful soul let him hold onto their hand, and Durant didn't waste the opportunity. 

"There's traction splints for that! I don't understand why we didn't just rob an ambulance!" 

A third voice barged into the argument. "And what, get the pigs going after our asses?!"

"You know, Dom's got a point." Fuchs uttered, "Cops would've just fucked up our window of opportunity."

He should've stayed in the warm void, no one was arguing down there. No one was yelling, it was just a quiet buzz of his head. 

Dom only blinked moments before he glanced down at the gunman. "He's conscious, by the way."

The air seemingly stilled, all four of them suddenly fell quiet, eyes locked on the gunman as if he'd done something horribly wrong. 

Dom was the first one to pipe up. "Sorry for all that, we're doing what we can."

Followed by Fuchs, just as callous as before. "We're almost at the surgeon's. Charlie, how long 'till we get there?"

He's just so glad Durant wouldn't be his problem for much longer, isn't he? 

"Five, ten minutes tops," came the reply from the front. 

"See? Just a few minutes more and you'll be fine."

Broken bones don't heal overnight. Torn tissue doesn't heal overnight, especially if it's inflamed. A bone takes at least a month to grow back right. The bigger the bone, the longer it takes.

Durant only grumbled in response. Empty words, just pure verbal manure. Fuchs clearly did give a shit.

Puppy, he could hire a different loyal gun.

And he... he was probably about to hire someone else.

Then why did he come back for him?!

That's the fun part, you don't know if he actually came back for you.

He's seen it first hand, Fuchs was capable of just tossing people to the curb, leaving them there to fucking rot.

God.

What if... he leaves him too? What if he abandons him at the side of the road, what if you're a stray again, little doggy? What then? What will you do then?

Durant looked at his boss again. Fuckface had the faintest hint of a smile curling his lip. Callous. He didn't care a single bit that his gunman had repeatedly passed out from pain.

The gunman shut his eyes. He didn't have the energy to think about the intricacies of their horrible work relationship to even begin dissecting this mess.

[fort-no-more]

Eye patches are good for having one eye that's always ready to see in the dark, though. That's why pirates actually wore them - there weren't all that many pirates missing eyes, but there were loads that needed to be able to see below deck at a moment's notice, especially in battle, so that keeps one eye dark-adjusted.

[Take it from Peter, Lud: Pirates are awesome. Do not let him get stuck on this topic or he WILL talk your ear off. Pirates, Pokemon, and music are the three topics that you cannot let him start on if you want to end the talk in a timely manner.]

We do! There are a few streets that give out candy near us, and on November 4th, there's going to be a huge Halloween party in Stockholm that will be loads of fun. We always make our costumes together, too.

Do you go out and get sweets? You're never too old for sweets.

[he listens in amusement as the boy tries to backtrack. Rather than looking "wicked" Ludwig has a feeling he would look rather pathetic]

If you wear an eye patch you might hurt your other eye. I would be careful with it. Halloween is approaching, though. Do you go out for candy with Sweden?

[almondmilks-posts]

C!schlatt- executed

I got lots of DMs asking for more angst so here

* You and schlatt get into an argument about him being president and executing tubbo ect, in a drunken rage he stabs you.

*Woah this is the longest thing I've ever written.

It all started when Fundy tipped you off about schlatts plans of executing tubbo for helping Wilbur and Tommy out,which you knew about ofc. You treated tubbo like one of your own and even sometimes helped him sneak out the Whitehouse without schlatt knowing; but killing tubbo over that broke you. You had to say something to hopefully put a stop to your husband's madness and his drinking. God did you hate how much he drunk, it drove you nuts.

You- he's just a boy. (Get the reference...)

Schlatt- I. Don't.give a fuck. He's. Traitor

You- do you blame him schlatt? Him and Tommy are close brothers even he probably felt terrible about what happend you know when you-

Schlatt- oh well should of thought I'd that before helping that that CHILD. HE'S MY RIGHT HAND MAN HE HAD ALL THE POWER AMD NOW and now he's going to pay the price and it's an expensive price to pay.

You walked over to the window and stood looking out into manburg. Just thinking about how you can save the poor boys life. How  could warn him without schlatt finding out? you came to nothing. You and schlatt were married you were first lady, wherever you went he went. You were in a deep thought about tubbo and what his death would mean to the server when quackity quietly Knocked on the dark oak door.

Quackity- uh boss I hate to interrupt but you have a meeting in 20 minutes down at the twitch prime church.

Schlatt sighed. Stood up off his chair and walked over to you, but not before grabbing the bottle. Schlatt got super close to your face, so close you could see the little wrinkles that had developed around his eyes and forehead since becoming president, your nose scrunched under the smell of alcohol from his breath or from his clothes you honestly couldn't tell anymore.

Schlatt- we will no longer speak on the matter. I AM THE PRESIDENT FOR MANBURG WHAT I SAY GOES.

He slaunted away from you pushing past quackity. Quackity gave you a sad smile as you both knew how mean schlatt could get when he drank, and recently he had been drinking alot. Quackity turned towards the open door to make sure schlatt was outta ear distance.

Quackity- go.

You- huh?

Quackity- I told Phill that you would be seeing him thecno Wilbur and Tubbo in the bunker. Go warn them.

You- i- hhhh thank you quackity I love you so much man.

Quackity- I know I know. Hurry because it looks like we are going to be in for along night if schlatt messes up this meeting

You- he's so drunk he can't even walk straight of course he's going to ok I'll run along I'll take the horse to speed things up.

Quackity quickly shut the door before running to where schlatt would be waiting downstairs for the meeting while you grabbed your axe and saddle. You made your way out the escape hatch in your office and found your horse (name your horse here pls comment the names I wanna see what y'all name your animals)

Horse- neyyyy

You- heyyyy boy shhh it's just me ok ok steady ok I'm getting on 3...2...1... And uppp fewww ok not so bad is it (horse name) ok off to warn Tubbo.

Your horse stamped it's hooves and took off for the bunker. You had ridden this path hundreds of time so it was easy for you and the horse to get to, quackity said he already told Phill about your arrival do he should be waiting for you to turn up. You were right because Wilbur was waiting outside for you to arrive. His usual green jacket and black Beanie on his head.

Wilbur- hey y/n in here look you can rest (horse name) in here Niki built it.

You- Niki joined? Awesome o haven't seen her in so long, well since she messed up the soup and schlatt fired her

Wilbur- how is he by the way y/n? Come inside and we can talk about him later or should I say rant

You- true true.

You walked through the entrance carefully, you had fallen down the rails the first few times Wilbur took you here. Over his presidential campaign you and wilbur had actually been pretty close and luckily kept in contact even though schlatt won. SBI was a group you practically grew up with just not enough for Phill to adopt you, but you don't blame him, you wouldn't fit the dynamic plus your parents didn't really like the idea but they never really liked anything you did.

Phill- oh hey y/n were all down here what do you want to talk about quackity said it was urgent so I called a meeting.

You got to the bottom of the steps to find everyone waiting on the floor for you to arrive. By everyone I mean: Phill, Tubbo, Tommy, Niki, thecno. You waved at Niki who had changed her hair colour since you saw her last she waved back with a huge smile on her face but a hint of sadness in your eyes. You had changed so much, you just look exhausted which was not wrong.

You- oh um yes hi everyone, sorry to be so blunt but uhhh there is no better way to say this. Tubbo is in grave danger. Schlatt is planning to...

Your hands started to shake vigorously, you felt dizzy, you wanted to throw up. Almost as if your body is warning you about doing this right now it's screaming at you to not betray your husband of four years like this but you have to.

Tommy- planning what y/n spit it out?

Niki- hey, y/n it's ok shhh Tommy what schlatt planning in doing to Tubbo?

You- he's PLANNING TO EXECUTE you tubbo. He knows, I don't know why or how but he knows about all of this and your his right hand man he's going to kill you tubbo, hang you for tertiary. I'm so sorry I-

Tommy- Tubbo? No? You can't die not now

Thecno- all our plans. Just gone.

Phill- he can't hang tubbo he's just a boy.

At this point you were sobbing now. Full on ugly crying. Your heart physically hurt from all the angst and the possibility of Tubbo dying. Your knees gave out on the floor as you wept for the young boy and he was still alive. The others argued in the back as to what to do. Tommy grabbed Tubbo and hugged him, Wilbur was crying over the threat of danger even thecno was a little on edge.

You- I'm sorry. But I must go I can't I can't stay im sorry.

Phill- it's ok. Thank you for warning us sport.

With that you climbed the stairs thinking about nothing honestly. You were numb. Your husband was going to murder someone you looked as your brother for years what did this mean for you? You were also helping them did he know about that? How did he know about tubbo's tretariy? You got on the back of your horse and rode back to manburg.

Climbing up the shoot to your office was miserable. You felt miserable, confused and alone. You had no idea how long you were sat in your chair looking at the chipped desk until the door was slammed open hitting the wall with a lud bang. You didn't need to look up to know it was your husband. Even before marriage he always slammed doors open like they were nothing.

Schlatt- what's got you all down in the dumps? HM sweetheart?

You- you know what and don't call me that.

You crossed your arms still refusing to make eye contact with the ram hybrid. This really pissed him off. He however pissed you off more by calling you sweetheart which to some would seem sweet but you knew schlatt better. This time was dripping in sarcasm because he was mind fucked drunk by now not caring about anyone or anything. Schlatt waddled up to your desk and stood right on front of you, still not looking up at him you pulled out some paperwork and started to mindlessly sign it.

Schlatt- me YOUR PRESIDENT just signed a huge deal with badboyhalo.what is wrong with you recently huh? Cats got your tounge ok what about pig hybrid got your tounge? Or angel of death got  your tounge or exhild child got your tounge?

You froze. He did know.

Schlatt- AHH struck a nerve, don't stop signing MY papers dear you are my wife after all.

You- no. Fuck you schlatt you can't hang the poor boy he's so young and innocent what was he supposed to do? You know I have to sign paperwork before you do anything and I won't sign off on it.

You threw your pen at schlatt in a rage. You didn't see if it hit him to enraged to care, papers were ripped, you there everything off your desk onto the floor. Schlatt just stood there blank expression not saying anything to you.

You- fuck you schlatt you don't control me.

You picked up the photo of you and schlatt on your wedding day. You ponderd on it for a second before stomping up to schlatt and shoving the picture on his face.

You- look at it. LOOK AT US LOOK HOW HAPPY I WAS NOW LOOK AT ME? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU? OR DO I LOOK EXHAUSTED? STRESSED? because I am all of them things being married to you schlatt you are a terrible president and you have no power you're a pussy and won't face your problems like a real man.

Schlatt picked up the bottle of vodka and downed the whole lot you just stood there absolutely raging over this man's attitude and willingness to just disregard everyone in his life.

Schlatt- I DONT CARE HOW YOI FEEL I DONT CARW ABOUT ANYONE NOT EVEN QUACKITY OR MY WIFE. I AM THE BEST PRESIDENT MANBURG HAD EVER SEEN AND YOU WILL OBAY THE RULE OF SCHLATT. I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN HELPING THE FUCKERS AND YOU WILL SUFFER JUST LIKE TUBBO, JUST LIKE TOMMY, JUST LIKE DREAM YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE FOR YOUR CRIMES. AGAINST. YOUR COUNTRY. AGAINST. YOUR PRESIDENT.

With every word schlatt got closer and closer to you. Terrified of schlatt, becoming increasingly more angry to the point his horns have grown pitch black out of pure hatred. You moved back as far as you could against the glass in your office. Schlatt pressing you up against it with his body but this time shoving a finger in your face and still yelling about how incompetent you are as a wife and as a person.

Suddenly you felt a stabbing pain just above your heart. You look down to see a black colour sword through your chest and red blood gushing out onto your clothes and floor ( ok the sword is still in so in irl not a lot of blood would actually escape unless the object was removed top tip but for theatrics blood eveywhere) you weakly reach up to grasp the blood covers wrist of schlatt to pull the sword out but to no avail as you suddenly feel super dizzy and everything goes black.

Quackity- she's.... She's.....y/n's dead

Quackity heard you and schlatt yelling in his office when silence happend. He knew this was a bad sign and anxiously walked to schlatts office with shaky hand. He got close enough to hear a loud thud and XP drop on the ground. He ran back to his office to think when schlatt walked by ( in this his office is made.of glass) staring at his hands, suit all covered in blood. His heart dropped and ran back to the office to collect your stuff, running on adrenaline he ran all the way the he bunker to tell the others. No time for him to cry yet he was still in shock over what just happened.

Niki- no no no no pls say your lying pleas no no not y/n

Niki dropped to her knees sobbing and rocking backwads and forwards much like you did less than three hours ago when you came to warn the crew. You were her friend and was the only person who helped her when she was working for schlatt at the white house.

Wilbur- no no why how? Pls no?

Wilbur and you were probably the closest, he found you in the forest over 12 years ago chasing after foxes and collecting berries Wilbur always wanted a younger sibling as this point Phill only had thecno and Wilbur.

Phill- oh no poor y/n.

Tommy- what the fuck how?

Phill when he first saw you recognised you emidiatly looking much like your father. However he knew the man and knew what he was like so he had no problems when you visited them for tea many nights a week. He did think about adopting you right after Tommy arrived as you looked after him so well. Crafting him many clothes and many pumpkin pies. So so so many he always asked Phil if he had the recipe as he knew you couldn't make them as frequently as you used to.

Everyone was going to miss you greatly they just didn't expect to see you at the festival but now as ghosty/n. All your tries and efforts were in vain. Manburg still got blown up. But you did make good friends with Ghostbur. Glatt knew off you but was too embarrassed to see you.

Ugh ok this took me over two hours to write non stop. I just got this idea and ran with it omg I got so carried away. As of now probably my fav story.

[allthingshetalia]

Germany and Romano waking up from a dream where their s/o cheats on them? Maybe include part of their dream? This blog is wonderful 💖

💕Ohhh spicy 🌶💕

Germany

He watched as your hand rested against his chest. You looked up at him with a lovestruck gaze, like he had seen so many times. The face of an unfamiliar man was staring down at you. His own eyes not entirely reflecting your own passion. Ludwig watched from outside the window. His hand clenched in his pockets.

So this is what you were doing when you disappeared? Running off and spending your free time with some man who obviously wasn’t obsessed with you. You replaced him. You replaced him with a man that was less than. A man that didn’t seem to hold even a fraction of the love for you he did. What had he done? Has he been neglecting you? Was he not good enough for you? Did he not satisfy your every need and wish?

He couldn’t wrap him mind around it. Even now as his body shook in anger and betrayal, as his heart throbbed and twisted painfully in his chest he couldn’t grasp what he was seeing before him. Ludwig burned a hole in your back as he watched you. It was like his eyes were daring you to turn around. Daring you to see the man you sleep next to watching you as you fawned over another man. And you did. Your head seemed to turn around at in ungodly angle. Your beautiful e/c eyes boring into his own. The love struck expression immediately fell.

“Ludwig?” You shouted. He didn’t bother to say anything to you. He watched as the world around you seemed to fade leaving only you.

“Ludwig?!” You repeated again. This time he swore he could feel your hands pressed against his shoulders, shaking him. But that was impossible. You were separated by a thin sheet of glass.

“Ludwig!” You had to back up as your boyfriends forhead almost collided with yours. “Woah.” You chuckled. You quickly cut off you laugh as the man under you desperately tried to catch his breath. His hands gripped at the sheets next to him and his eyes darted around the dark room. He choked on his breaths and you stared at him worriedly. “It’s okay, ludbug.” You soothed. You were dead asleep on his chest when he suddenly started shaking. It felt like an earthquake and your eyes immediately flew open only to see your boyfriend breaking a sweat.

You leaned up and rested your forhead against his. You couldn’t see his eyes very good, but you could see them get glazed over with tears. You gasped softly and wrapped both arms tightly around his shoulders resting your face right next to his, so you were cheek to cheek. “It’s okay.” You repeated. He breathing eventually slowed down and he seemed to realize how he was still gripping at the sheets. His hands immediately fled to your waist gripping at his oversized shirt you wore to bed.

His hand left your waist and rested against the back of your head making sure you were pressed up tightly against him.

“I’m sorry for waking you up.” He sighed, resting his head loosely against yours. You rolled your eyes and loosened your grip on him.

“Who cares! I just want to know what got you so upset.” You assured. Your fingers tapped against his bare chest playfully, hoping to ease the tense atmosphere. It was silent for a long moment.

“You cheated on me.” Hs said finally. You lifted your head away from his and stared down at him.

“Oh Lud I’m sorry.” You whispered. Your hands rested against the side of his face twirling the thick blonde locks above his ear.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked worriedly. You quickly realized how it sounded like you were actually apologizing.

“That’s a horrible nightmare. I would probably be sick right now if I had a dream about you cheating on me.” You explained. The blonde beneath you nodded and sighed.

“I know you would never do that Kätzchen. I don’t know where that came from.” You nodded understandingly and rested your head against his chest.

“Dreams are weird like that.” You hummed. You rested your chin against his chest and looked back up at him. “I love you.” You smiled. You could see his eyes squint happily and a small smile etch itself into his face.

“Ich Leibe dich auch.” He smiled.

Romano

“WHAT THE F*CKING F*CK?!” You wrapped the sheets tighter around yourself and stumbled after Lovino.

“Lovi! I can explain!” Your hands reache four and grabbed at the Italians shirt. He turned around and glared at you with such fury and betrayal you were surprised you didn’t crumble to pieces.

“Don’t you ever call me Lovi again! In fact don’t ever utter my name again.” He spat. His heart scratched and gripped at his chest, the pain of his heartbreak making tears fall from his eyes. He quickly wipped them away, hoping you didn’t see them.

“Don’t me mad at her! It was my fault!” His heart seemed to ache more as he watched his own brother, trying to get his belt on properly.

“Lovino please.” You begged. Your hands clasped infront of you, begging for forgiveness.

“Last time I checked it takes two people to cheat. Both of you should be ashamed of yourselves.” Lovino growled. He heard of panicked gasp escape Feliciano and Lovino didn’t even care enough to look at him. Instead his eyes were trained on you. He was use to his brother fücking up his life. He was always better than him. But you? You were the one person he could trust. The one person he told every single secret to. The same secrets he swore he would take to the grave with him. But then you came along. Stealing his heart. Making his life worth living. And also making his life a complete hell. He wanted nothing more than to crawl in a ditch and slowly die. His whole life has been long and painful, so why shouldn’t his death.

He gave both of you one last look before rushing out the house. He didn’t pay any mind as he heard both of you shout after him. He ran and ran. Faster than he ever had in his life. He ran until his lungs ached as much as his heart. He ran until he tripped over a branch. The impact seeming to send him into a bother reality.

His eyes shot open. His breath coming out in rough, aggressive pants, like he had really been running. His throat hurt. His chest hurt. Everything hurt. His hand instinctively flew to his side.

“Lovi.” You grumbled, when his hand smacked you. You rubbed your arm and curled yourself deeper into your blankets. Before you could fall back asleep a warm body tackled you deeper into the mattress. “What the hell!” You shouted.

“You are evil!” The groggy shouted of your boyfriend, made you roll your eyes.

“How am I evil? I was sleeping peacefully until you decided to go on a marathon in your sleep.” You muttered.

“You cheated on me.” His voice was quiet and soft. Heartbreak evident in his voice. You rolled over on your back and pushed away the conforter that got tangled in your limbs.

“Oh Lovi. What happened.” You mumbled. Your arms reached out and you would have smiled at the way his body immediately fell against yours. His head buryed itself in your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

“You cheated on me with Feli.” You gasped and held him tighter.

“Now that’s impossible. We all know you’re my favorite Italian.” You assured softly, hoping you would get a small chuckle. “That’s a horrible dream- no nightmare. But you know I would never do anything like that right?” You pressed, snuggling deeper into his soft hair.

“I know. It felt so real.” He sighed. You nodded your head understandingly and ran a hand up and down his back.

“The worst dreams are always the real ones.” You affirmed.

[childrenoftherosx]

Let’s talk about: Patricia/Blaine

Welcome to the second part of my little series, this time we will have the two former Mono’s as topic. As always, enjoy~

Notes about Patricia/Blaine:

 First appearing in The Wastelands, Patricia and Blaine were slo-trans powered engines that were built by North Central Positronics head engineer Richard Quint. They were originally created for public transport respectively from Lud to Topeka(Blaine’s run) while Patricia ran from Lud towards Fedic(the southwest route). Both have started their lifes in the Cradle of Lud thousand years ago as the old ones were still ruling over Mid-World.

Patricia was the weaker willed and less developed engine wise of both which was the reason why Blaine took over most of the computers down in Lud, effectively becoming the city`s control panel in the process.

Thanks to their AI’s, both Mono’s became more human over the course of their lifetime. Thus it wasn’t really a surprise when Patricia began to get depressed after centuries of inactivity and loneliness which was only fueled by Blaine after one of her circuits catched fire which nearly caused both Mono’s to die. We know from the books that Blaine basically enabled Patricia to go through with her suicidal thoughts which ended with her drowning in the River Send a couple years ago, leaving behind Blaine who now was completely alone(which was the beginning of his own spiritual malaise caused by the subconcious guilt he felt about Patricia’s suicide.)

Much like with Mordred, these two characters, albeit nothing more than machines or Mono’s in that case, have won my heart with their backstories. Part of it was also their personalities which had very human like qualities(like feeling sad or depressed or even showing joy in riddling). Little Blaine was also a character i loved very much but he and Big Blaine basically joined back again after their first death anyway, thus i won’t talk much about him here. Some people theorized that Little Blaine was in fact Patricia who had desperately clung to a part of their shared circuits in order to keep Blaine somewhat under control. Personally i don’t like that idea very much, one reason i didn’t included it in my take of these two.

Anyway, since both were dead at the end and i felt they should get a second chance as well just like Mordred got, i decided to revive them via Bessa’s powers.

How they came to be:

After Blaine’s derailing in Topeka, Bessa appeared in the desolated city of Lud, visiting the underground where Blaine and Patricia’s motherboard was located and extracted their personalities from it(i mean hey, when babies can be faxed via a dogan, i don’t think this is far out of a reach), creating bodies for both Mono’s afterwards and inserted their AI’s in them. The reason for her taking in these two? She felt that Ka wanted them to join her.

Patricia had been more confused about this event than Blaine, but slowly started to realize that there were things in this world she hadn’t had to understand fully. Blaine at first didn’t even realized he was alive again, only after Patricia gently touched him did he fully understood what had happened. His initial reaction towards this was anger, then after the first shock had subsided, a small hint of gratitude showed up. After an awkward first meet and greet, Blaine quickly realized that Bessa had been the one bringing them back as well that she was the one responsible for Riddles in the first place, that she had invented them even!

Befuddled by this epiphany, Blaine agreed to come with her and Patricia to the Dark Tower where they would take their rightful place in the Tet of the Rose, which had only consisted of Penny and Mordred before. After their arrival, Bessa gifted Patricia a necklace with a rose as present and Blaine the Eternal Book of Neverending Riddles.

Even though Blaine remained suspicious about Bessa’s goal for a great amount of time, he began to trust her more the longer he spent time with her and the others. Patricia was quicker in trusting the goddess mainly because due to Bessa,she finally had found someone she could talk to no matter what. Bessa was also able to help balance Patricia’s mind so far that her suicidal tendency stopped for good(one reason for that was the necklace Bessa gifted her which had a special power)

The biggest difference to Canon Blaine and Patricia:

Not much to be honest, i mayhaps made Blaine a little nicer and less psychotic and with Patricia i basically had free reign since we haven’t seen anything of her personality aside of her mental breakdown due to loneliness, so yeah, i think these two remain the closest to Canon.

Random Trivia:

Blaine is absolutely not able to withstand pain, he has a very low pain tolerance and is quick to retreat if there is danger ahead. His favorite foods are Cheeto’s, Waffles, Mixed Pickles as well Popcorn. Patricia is able to sing very well and is artistically gifted. She likes to take on responsibility and taking care of her younger adopted siblings with a passion. Her favorite foods are brussel sprouts, lasagna and sweet cakes(chocolate flavored). She is afraid of water due to her drowning and can’t stand the ocean.

Both Mono’s appear as older teenagers around the age of sixteen.

[telltalia]

wuɳɗɛʀรcɦöɳ PT3

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! Heres the last part of my 2017 Christmas fic! I realized while rereading this that Germany was so so so out of character. Like, it’s bad, but I also still enjoy this fic, even though some parts don’t make logical sense anymore.

Word Count: 3,775

You don't remember the last time you've had such a comfortable night's sleep. When you awoke in the morning, it was still dark in the room, and you were still in Ludwig's clothes, covered in a warm quilt. The one thing you noticed that was different, was that Ludwig was gone. You were no longer laying on his warm, sturdy chest. His arms were no longer wrapped protectively around you.

You sat up in a tired daze, looking around. It was still dark, but a slight sliver of golden sunlight was peeking through the dark curtains. So it was already mid-day, you guessed, it was only the blackout curtains that made it appear to be dark. The only light inside the house was of the small, colorful lights on the Christmas tree.

In the dim light, you saw Ludwig on the floor, mumbling in German, and surrounded by wrapping paper, scissors and tape.

"What are you doing?" You asked groggily. Ludwig jumped at your voice and quickly shoved an item behind his back.

"(Y/N)! You're awake!" he blushed and fidgeted softly, like a child who had gotten caught being naughty. “I was wrapping your... gifts.”

“My gifts? Ludwig, I thought we weren’t going to buy each other anything. And ‘Gifts’? Plural?” You blushed. How could he do this? As much as you appreciated it, you only bought him one thing- a plate, for God’s sake! “Luddy, all I bought you was a plate!”

“It’s alright, really.” he gave you the tiniest glimmer of a smile. It was the largest you’ve seen him smile since you got here, but instead of being happy, it was more of him trying to be reassuring than anything. You mentally made it a goal to see him full out smile before you go home. As you were thinking, Ludwig stood and walked into the kitchen, arriving a few moments later with a steaming mug. “I made some Glühwein. You know, that drink you had last night.” you smiled, grateful for the warmth that surrounded your hands when you took the mug from him.

‘Thank you.” you took a sip, savoring the spicy, fruity, flavor. You hummed in pleasure. “You made this? It’s so good!” Ludwig blushed modestly and scratched his neck.

“Danke. I made it just for you...” you failed to notice how Ludwig’s face paled and his eyes widened dramatically after that sentence. You blushed and almost choked on your drink, setting it down on a side table. Before you could respond to his confession, he continued. “Do you want to wake up Gilbert and (S/N) now so we can open presents before you leave?” You jumped up in excitement like a child and tripped over your own feet. “Scheiße! (Y/N)!” Ludwig jumped forwards and grabbed you before you could hit the ground. “Are you okay?” In a lovestruck daze, you stared up into his pale blue eyes, noticing the obvious worry in them. You noticed how they softened while staring into yours.

"Yo, losers! It's that awesome time! Presents!!"

"Merry Christmas!" Your sister and Gilbert burst into the room, the dogs following them. The dogs seemingly always showed up with them. Quickly steadying you, Ludwig let go, as to not cause suspicion. Gilbert and your sister sat down in front of the tree, grabbing and shaking the presents as if the two were still children.

"Gilbert! Don't do that!" Ludwig hit his brother over the head.

"Jeez, West. You're such a meany." He snickered and scooted over closer to (S/N). "Don't ruin Christmas."

"I'm not..." he sighed and cut himself off. "Nevermind. (Y/N), do you want your presents now?" You blushed, still not recovered from earlier, and sat down on the couch. Before you could respond, Gilbert began his teasing again.

"Kesese! You bought her something?! Oohlala!"

"Bruder!" Before Ludwig could say any more, you nudged him with your foot from where you sat on the couch. He looked up and his glare softened into a gentle almost-smile. He sat up on the sofa with you and handed you the first small package. Giving him a small thankful smile, you tore the wrapping paper off.

Inside was a small, blue mug with the words München Christkindlmarkt in beautiful white letters. It had intricate, hand-painted designs, and you noticed it as the mug that you were drinking Glühwein from the day before. Inside the cup was a small piece of paper with handwritten words.

"Its a recipe. So you can make Glühwein whenever you want to."

"Oh, Lud. It's so pretty." You leaned over and wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace. "Thank you!"

"I-It was nothing." Really." He handed you the second package gently. "Open the next." You felt his eyes on you opened them, and you blushed brightly as his hand lingered on yours for a second, before he quickly pulled away. Inside this package, there was a small silk handkerchief, for decorative purpose only, you supposed. In fancy lettering on the front, it said Frohe Weihnachten.

"Oh, Lud-" As you unfolded it, you felt a few small objects fall into your hand. Little, handcrafted, wooden stars in beautiful colors.

"Just little things you can hang up in your home around Christmas time." Ludwig blushed a bit and continued quieter. "So you don't forget about your time here." Your heart almost broke at the sight before you. Ludwig had a dark blush in his face, and the look in his eyes was obviously heartbroken, although he also looked bashful, giving him an innocent look. His blonde head was hung low, and his sharp blue eyes were averted. You knew both Gilbert and your sister were watching, but it didn't stop your next sentence.

"Ludwig, I could never forget this place. It's beautiful." Ludwig's eyes flashed with hope for a second, but he ran a hand through his hair and reached for the next gift.

"Here, it's the last one." He handed you the smallest, but best-wrapped gift. It was a very small box, wrapped in a smooth golden paper, and with the tiniest bow.

"I almost don't want to open it. It's so pretty like this." You smiled at him shyly. "Danke-"

"Oooopeeeen iiiit." You looked over, pulled out of the trance, and saw Gilbert with his hands cupped to his mouth. He and (S/N) looked like they were watching a movie, and this was a significantly dramatic scene.

"Mind your own business!" Ludwig growled, and Gilbert went back to talking with (S/N). You carefully pulled the paper off and opened the small box. You gasped lightly when you saw what was inside.

On a delicate gold chain along with 3 tiny beads- one black, one red, one gold- sat a charm the shape of Germany, just larger than your thumb. In the center of the charm was a small cutout of a heart.

"So a piece of Germany will always be with you." You heard Ludwig whisper. For some reason, that really got to you. You were leaving today, and you weren't coming back. You'd never see Ludwig again. You felt the tears well up in your eyes, and you quickly stood and ran to your bedroom, still holding the necklace. You sat on the edge of your bed, set your face in your hands. You tried your best to keep the tears from falling, but you couldn’t. You were leaving. You were never going to see Ludwig again, except in the background of pictures your sister sends. Oh, if only you could stay forever. But you couldn’t quit your job! And you could barely speak a lick of German. Suddenly you heard the door open, and you froze, expecting Ludwig.

“What was that?” You looked up to see not Ludwig, but your sister standing in the doorway. She laughed before looking down at you. “Holy shit, are you crying?” She completely switched from teasing to concerned. “What happened?”

“I-” Your voice cracked, and you stopped talking, choking back a small sob. Your sister sat down next to you and rubbed your back gently.

“Take your time.” You took a deep breath.

“I need to leave. Like, now.”

“What? Why? Is it because of Ludwig?” Then, she looked at you with that look that older siblings get sometimes. The ‘I know’ look.

“Okay, yes. I really like him.” Your sister laughed. “What’s so funny?”

“Why are you crying then? Because you have to leave? You don’t.” She stood from the bed and laughed. “(Y/N), I love ya, but you’re an idiot. An idiot in love.” You blushed as she left your room. You gathered your bags together and got dressed for the airport, doing your hair as simple as possible. You heard a whining noise outside your bedroom door and went to open it, immediately tackled to the ground by the dogs. The golden retriever began to lick your salty, tear-stained cheeks. Despite the sadness inside you, you still managed to laugh.

“Aster! Stop it!” You stood up and took this time to check what time it was. 12:30. And your flight was at 2:30. And take away the hour it took to get to the airport. That gave you one hour. One hour to pack. One hour to come to peace with the fact that you were leaving. One hour to say goodbye to Ludwig. You jumped when you heard a soft knock on your open door.

“(Y/N)?” It was Ludwig. “Do you want to eat something or have some more Glühwein before you go?” Sucking up all your courage, you left your room and followed him to the kitchen.

“I suppose it’s only logical to eat since I’m not going to have anything but airline food the rest of the day.” Sitting down at the table across from him and digging into your food, you tried your best to avoid eye contact with him. Those eyes could pull you into a trance, and that’s the last thing you need right now. But that wasn’t the only problem.

This is the last time you’re going to eat at this table. The last time you get to share a meal with him.

You couldn’t push the thoughts out of your head.

“I’m sorry.” Ludwig’s low voice pulled you back to reality. You looked up, immediately making eye contact with those crystal eyes and scolded yourself in your head. Damn it all, (Y/N)! You had one job!

“Sorry for what?”

“Whatever I did that upset you.” Ludwig looked like a kicked puppy. Whatever he thought he did to you really seemed to be bugging him. “Was it the necklace? After I gave it to you, you just ran off. Is something wrong with it?”

“No! It’s nothing, I promise. The necklace is beautiful.” You reached down to where it still hung around your neck, then you continued eating silently. You felt his eyes still on you but were still determined to ignore it.

“If you need to tell me something, you can. Please don’t feel uncomfortable talking to me.” You blushed, and your brain ceased to function. Why was he saying all these things? Did he know something? Clenching your fist under the table, you blatantly lied.

“I don’t feel uncomfortable.” Ludwig didn’t seem to believe you, but you continued to eat in silence. You heard Ludwig sigh and stand up from the table.

“Can I take your bags out to the car?”

“Go ahead.” You felt so terrible ignoring Ludwig, considering you had been so close yesterday, but you just wanted to make this easier on both of you. That didn’t make it selfish, right? You were doing this for Ludwig too. Unless he didn’t care if you left or stayed. God, what if he didn’t care? Of course, no one could decide they like someone in two days! It takes time. You set your silverware down in deep thought. I should’ve known it’s not worth it. I should have just stayed with (S/N) instead of hanging out with Ludwig. I could’ve saved all this trouble...

“Are you ready to go?” Ludwig interrupted your inner monologue.

“Now?” You glanced at the clock. “Oh! Yeah, let’s go.” You gave your room one last look, making sure you didn’t forget anything- your phone, charger, a hairbrush- and you grabbed the remaining bag and a coat. You walked slowly through the house as if wishing you’d miss your flight. As if wishing time would stop. Eventually, you were out the door, and you sat in the passenger side of Ludwig’s car.

This is the last time you’ll see this room. This is the last time you’ll see this house. In less than an hour, you’ll be gone.

The ride was silent for a very long time. You both sat silently, Ludwig driving and you watching the passing scenery outside. You felt so guilty about not talking to Ludwig. What if you really hurt him? Eventually, the silence became too much for Ludwig.

“(Y/N). Please talk to me. I know you’ve been ignoring me for a reason, and I want to know why.”

“I’m not-”

“Schwachsinn!” he cursed rather loudly. Then he calmed quickly, not wanting to scare you. “I know you're ignoring me. Please… please tell me why.” Ludwig looked so hurt, and you once again felt tears well up in your eyes.

“I'm so sorry, Ludwig…” Your voice cracked in the middle of the sentence, and you covered your mouth and looked out the window. “I’m sorry. It's just, you know, I'm leaving today and I didn't want to…” You trailed off.

“You didn't want to become attached to me...Is that it?” you hesitated but nodded slowly.

“I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you.” Ludwig was silent a moment, and then he continued.

“You know, you don't have to leave today. I could buy you a plane ticket for another day. It'll be way too busy today.”

“Ludwig, it's fine.” Ludwig pulled the car into the airport's parking lot.

“But if you don't want to leave…” He was parking now.

“I need to.” You looked over at Ludwig and got out of the car. You went to the trunk and grabbed your suitcase.

“At least let me carry your bags for you.”

“Alright.” You smiled at Ludwig and nodded. He gave off no emotion whatsoever. And then you began the long walk to the airport. You couldn’t process the fact that this was the last time you’d see Ludwig. It was as if your body was just refusing to believe the information. Hoping that maybe… maybe it wasn’t true. Maybe something would happen. But here you stood, next to Ludwig, right inside the airport, ready to board the plane. You hesitated. GO. STAY. GO STAY. There was a battle taking place inside you between your head and your heart. You wanted to stay with Ludwig, you really did! But how stupid would that be? Like a decision an impulsive teenager. Was there anything you could say to him that could spark a conversation and cause you to miss your flight? No…

“(Y/N), wait!” Before you could take another step, you felt a strong grip around your upper arm. “Wait!” Don’t go!”

“Ludwig..?” This was the first time you’ve seen the German so passionate about something. He looked so desperate, so needy, so… vulnerable.

“(Y/N), don’t get on that plane. Before you came here I didn’t really have any friends. Not who live around here, anyway. You’ve spent so much time with me, and I’m forever grateful for that. I’m not the person who says things like this, but sometimes you need to let your heart decide… I know it’s only been a few days, and in any other situation I wouldn't say this, but your sister already lives here and we somewhat know each other, so... I really like you. Bitte bleib hier bei mir." He took one look at your shocked expression and continued. “You can leave if you’re positive you want to. I won’t force you to stay.” he let go of your arm in a dejected manner. “I’m sorry for delaying you. Just don't forget me.” He turned away, expecting you to leave. You noticed how he wasn’t holding himself tall and strong like he normally does, but instead, his shoulders were hunched. He was walking away from you, but his words were still ringing in your head. Sometimes you need to let your heart decide. In a split second, you sprinted up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. He stiffened up instantly. “(Y-Y/N)?”

“Ludwig… did you mean all that?” you pulled away from him and he turned to face you. His face was bright red all the way to the tips of his ears.

“Of course I did.” He scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“Even the part where you said you like me?” Ludwig’s face paled as if he forgot that he said that.

“E-even that part…” The two of you stood in silence for a moment, and for the first time all day, you allowed yourself to get lost in his cerulean blue orbs. How they were filled to the brim with unease. The way his crisp blonde hair was combed back away from his forehead, although a few hairs had fallen from the ranks, hanging above his eyes. The way his muscles were tensed in anxiety for your response.

“I like you too…”  

“Does that mean… you’re staying?” You nodded slowly and watched in joy as Ludwig’s lips curled up into a grin. A big, toothy, grin. In an agonizingly slow movement, he wrapped his arms around you gently and leaned down to bury his face in the crook of your neck. It was then that you felt the wet drops on your shoulder, and felt Ludwig’s shoulders tremble softly.

“Are you crying?”

“I’m... happy.” Of course, all sweet moments must come to an end, as Ludwig’s cellphone began ringing annoyingly. He pulled back quickly and dug the phone out of his pocket. “Hallo?” he listened for a mere two seconds and hung up with a sigh. “It was Gilbert. He asked if were, erm… getting it on yet.”

“So does he know about…?”

“Ja, and if you don’t mind, I don’t exactly want to go home yet. They’re only going to torment us.”

“Okay, but where are we going then?” Ludwig thought for a few moments, then it looked as if an idea struck him.

“Well, I have an idea, but it might be a while before we get there.”

“Can I know what is?”

“Neu-... actually, it’s a surprise. But, it might be 5 o’clock by the time we get there… are you alright with waiting that long?”

“Of course. As long as it’s with you.” As Ludwig smiled and carried your bags back to the car, you couldn’t help but wonder where he was taking you. Something so important that he was willing to drive five hours to get there. What could it be? As you sat in the car, Ludwig spoke up.

“I can’t believe you’re actually staying.”

“I can’t either.” Ludwig seemed a bit uncertain about what he was about to say.

“Are you sure you want to stay? You still have time to catch your plane-”

“I want to stay.” Ludwig smiled again, looking away to hide it, and drove the car out of the parking lot. “Remember what you said earlier? About letting your heart decide? That’s what I did. I let my heart decide. And it chose you”

“(Y/N)...” he trailed off. But you knew what he meant. That’s so sweet, or How cheesy. He continued to drive, and you looked out the window, watching the road signs fly past. “You might want to take a nap while we drive there. It’s almost two hours.”

“But I don’t want you to be lonely on the drive.” Despite how tired you still were because of jet lag, you really didn’t want Ludwig to be alone. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“(Y/N), how many times do I have to tell you. You’re not a burden. I like having you around. Go to sleep." Smiling once more, you closed your eyes and failed to notice the sign reading Romantische Straße.

The light snow fluttered carelessly around the sky, and everything was enveloped in pitch darkness, except for a small beam of moonlight shining down in the center of an utterly romantic scene. In the midst of all the snow, a young girl twirled around, her jacket forgotten somewhere, her hair flowing free down her shoulders. The man's hair seemed even fairer than usual adorned with delicate crystals of snow, as he stepped into the light and lay his jacket over the woman's shoulders, pulling her in for a sweet kiss. Their lips molded perfectly onto each other, and it all seemed too perfect to be true. And it was.

(Y/N)...

(Y/N)...

"(Y/N)? Wake up now. We're here." Ludwig whispered. The sun was gone, but it didn't look like night time yet. Late evening, when the sky still has a tint of gray to it. Steady snow had begun to fall and was already piling in the grass beside the road. With a small groan, you let Ludwig pull you out of the car, and you looked around, expecting something extravagant.

"Where are we?" You whispered back to him, equally as soft. Ludwig took your hand and pulled you away from the car a bit. He swiftly pulled his coat off and lay it across your shoulders. You smiled thankfully up at him. Then, he stopped walking and pointed out to a blank mountain range.

"Look up there." You did. You strained your eyes, and soon you saw that it was not simply a blank mountain range. Perched upon one of the hills was an elegant, white castle. The mountain was not blank, but in fact, it was a canvas that the Gods had touched with a magic paintbrush. "Do you see it?"

"Yes... it's beautiful."

It may be schön, but you... du bist wunderschön." You smiled and huddled closer to Ludwig.

"Is that what you brought me here for? Just to say that?" Worry splashed across Ludwig's face.

"I thought of it on the way. Do you like it?"

"I love it." Ludwig smiled that beautiful toothy grin that you've only gotten to see twice, and wrapped his arms around you quietly, warming you with his body.

"Maybe we'll come back another day. I think you're getting cold,  ja? Let's go." He hurriedly rushed you to the car and got you comfortable. "Schlaf, mein Schatz. Schlaf..."

♡

Translations

Schlaf, mein Schatz- sleep, my treasure (pet name)

Romantische Straße- Romantic Street (its a scenic route in Germany)

Bitte bleib hier bei mir- please stay here with me

Schwachsinn- bullshit

schön- pretty

wunderschön- VERY pretty

[sea-side-scribbles]

Sympathy For A Downer

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737214/chapters/63552727

Chapter 29

Nick had tried to resist the scotch but he was already in a tipsy state when his band came back, looking like they were in the same state as him.

"Hi Nickie, have you been a good boy?", they greeted him, who was relaxing on the couch.

"And you?," he replied. "You spent a lot of time on this too."

"Well, this Hastings guy was surprisingly hard-drinking," Chris said smirking, making Nick shoot up.

"What did you do to him?"

"Nothing. We just had a good time," Brad assured him with an innocent tone. "Just like you had yesterday." 

Matt, who sat down on the armrest of the couch, added: "You know very well that you can't trust reporters as long as they are sober."

That made the others laugh.

"But he's alright," Nick insisted.

"Oh yeah, very alright", Chris agreed. "He's adorable, right Morrie?"

Morrie rolled his eyes.

"I'm delighted," he said dryly.

Nick pouted.

"Great. I'm giving you the chance to be in the press and you have no better idea than to scare the reporter away."

„Nah, I think we've been exceptionally nice to him.", Brad replied.

"No offense, but I think your judgement in the matter of kindness is a bit unreliable," Nick said dryly, but he didn't ruin Brad's mood at all.

"Perhaps. But this time there's three gentlemen who agree with me."

Morrie launched himself on the couch and added: "He's right. Could've been worse."

"This pessimist wanted to say that it's gonna be a great article. Just wait until you see it," Chris assured him again.

Nick sighed.

"Did you tell him anything about me?"

"Only the good things," Brad answered and then pointed at Nick, almost touching the tip of his nose. "As you did too, right? You're living with us now, so you should be nice."

Nick backed away.

"Why are you living in my house anyway? Are you all homeless?", he asked playfully.

"No, but I remember that you begged us to come back and keep you company.  Am I right?"

The others agreed.

Nick gave them a sheepish grin.

"Okay, okay, you're right. I don't want you to leave, you're my friends and I love you."

He received shoulder pats and sympathy.

Then Morrie linked arms with him and said: "Would you mind if I borrow this sweetheart for a bit?"

"A bit," Chris repeated grinning. "Sure, we'll see you next week."

"Very funny."

"Why? It's Sunday."

Morrie slapped his forehead and left with Nick, who waved the others goodbye.

Outside Nick said: "You must've missed me a lot, being in such a hurry."

As an answer Morrie gave him an eager kiss.

"I'm just so happy right now", he sighed. "I wanna go outside with you, watch the sunset, anything we did in the past!"

"But I thought you wanted to be careful...", Nick asked and immediately regretted it because Morrie's expression saddened.

"Is there nowhere safe we can go?", his lover asked with begging eyes.

Nick pondered.

"Yes," he decided. "The way is a bit rough though..."

"I don't care," Morrie said with emphasis. "I'll go wherever you want."

Happily, Nick led him upstairs and opened the door to his bedroom. 

Morrie leaned at the doorframe while his lover went inside.

"This is not what you meant, right?", he said with furrowed brows.

Pulling off the blanked from the bed Nick answered: "No, but we might need this."

Nick neatly folded it and went out again, with a curious Morrie following him.

He went into a smaller room and opened the window. Before Morrie guessed what he was planning, he had climbed out and vanished.

"Norbert!", Morrie cried and ran for the window. 

Outside he saw his lover smirking at him, standing on a scaffold.

"Did you really think I'd jump out there?"

Morrie caught his breath.

"Don't scare me like this again! I don't deserve this!"

"Come on, don't be mad, better get out there and get some fresh air!"

Morrie gave the scaffold a doubtful look.

"And then what?"

"Don't be afraid, my dear, I'll hold you," Nick promised and held out a hand to help him out.

Morrie hesitated, wondering if he should cancel this dangerous adventure, but then again he wanted to know what Nick had planned for them. He put his hand in Nick's and climbed out. Then he clutched to his lover and his voice was a tiny bit higher than usual when he asked: "And now?"

"Now we turn the corner over there,", Nick explained and led him along the narrow board they were standing on.

"Don't worry, just hold my hands, we're almost there."

"You have some ideas...", Morrie sighed but anyway obeyed, staring at the board that separated him from the abyss.

"Good, and now look up there," Nick commanded and Morrie slowly moved his head.

"I only see the roof," he stated.

"Yep, that's where we're getting up now," he heard his lover say.

"Really? What do we do up there?"

"Trust me."

Morrie gulped, but Nick was giving him such a warm smile he couldn't resist.

Nick showed him where he could place his foot to climb up safely. When he had reached the roof he knelt down to help his lover up. They got up together while Morrie clung onto him again. 

"Are you okay, Morrie?", Nick whispered, wiping a hair strand from the other man's forehead.

"Yeah...I think so..."

They made a few steps forward and the more they absented themselves from the abyss, the safer Morrie felt. Looking around, he took in the fresh air and started to realize what a beautiful view they had. From here, they could see entire Hamlyn Village, all the roofs that gathered around Nick's, and the horizon with it's clear sky. He saw a wide landscape in the distance that must've been Lud's Holm and taller houses that must've been from the Parade District. Above all this, the sun was setting in glowing red. Morrie stared at it like he was enchanted, then he began to sob.

"Oh my...this is so beautiful..."

He rubbed his eyes.

"I'm crying again."

Nick gently kissed a tear from his cheek.

"Cry my love, cry as much as you want. I'll hold you," he whispered.

They kissed tenderly. Then Nick spread the blanked over the roof, where they could lie down in a comfortable position and watch the sunset turn the town bright red, until the sky became dark blue and the first stars came out. Morrie lied on Nick's chest.

"And I was worried you'd only take revenge for the cold water this morning."

Nick kissed Morrie's hair.

"I won't play such a cruel prank on you, especially not when you're in a cuddly mood."

"You're so good to me again, Norrie. Just like the old days. Will it last?"

Morrie looked him in the eyes.

Nick returned the gaze.

"Yes, it will."

And he meant it. How could he not mean it, cuddling with the most handsome man in town under the starry sky?

Their kiss was soft, their tongues carefully touched, as if they kissed for the first time. Morrie rolled on Nick and felt is lover embrace him, gently squeezing him. Nick widened his legs and let Morrie's hands stroke over their insides. His delicate skin turned into goosebumps under the other man's hands and a shiver ran down his spine. Getting hard, he greedily rubbed against his lover. Morrie started to move his hips too, then he suddenly bent down and kissed the tip of Nick's length, making him gasp. Then he pulled down his lover's pants. Nick returned the favor with shivering fingers. He was already starving when his lover softly slid into him. Finally they merged into one, finding their rhythm, gradually getting faster. Nick bit Morrie's shoulder when he came. 

When he saw what he had done, he ruefully licked his lover's wound. Morrie however petted his cheek with a finger. 

"It's okay...", he said "I like it."

Then he grabbed the blanked on both ends and wrapped it over them, so they could warm each other while the night turned cold.

"I didn't look at the stars for ages," Morrie whispered.

"Me neither. I didn't give a damn," Nick admitted.

Morrie chuckled.

"It was a wonderful idea to come here."

They began to hold hands under the blanket.

"Wasn't it? Sometimes I have good ideas."

"Absolutely, Nick Lightbearer."

"Why thank you, Morrie Memento."

They laughed quietly.

"Norbert, even if the new record is a bummer...we'll stay together."

"It's not a bummer! It's a hit! You all brought together so many great ideas, it can't go wrong!," Nick fiercely replied.

Morrie silenced for a while before he whispered: "But if it is, will you leave me?"

Nick felt a pang in his chest.

"I guess I've been the biggest asshole in the universe."

"Hmm," Morrie nodded, "and the prettiest."

Nick burst out in laughter.

"That's quite a compliment."

He sighed.

"No, I won't leave you."

He kissed Morrie's cheek. 

"Never."

For another while they entangled, kissing lips and touching skin, before they calmed down to look at the stars again.

Later, Morrie started to whistle a melody that Nick knew. 

Together with the night and the slight smell of Motilene it created a mixture that made his hair stand on end. 

He shivered.

"What's wrong?", his lover asked. "Don't you like it?"

"It's a bit...eerie," Nick admitted.

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"I played it the day we met again, remember?"

"Yeah." It came back into Nick's mind. "Where did you hear it?"

"Someone hummed it from up a roof."

"How fitting," Nick commented.

Morrie nudged him.

"It could be our song. Somehow, it brought us back together, right?"

"Right."

Nick smiled at the thought of having a song with Morrie.

"I'd like that."

They stayed under their comfy blanked until they fell asleep. 

Nick was awakened by a soft nudge.

„Norrie," he heard his lover whisper. "Just look."

First, the light blinded him when he opened his eyes. Then he saw the sun rise, painting everything around them in a bright golden color. It was the moment Nick usually kept missing by oversleeping.

"Wonderful," Nick sighed. "What a shame that there's no room service up here, I would've ordered us champagne."

They laughed.

"It's  pretty enough without it," Morrie said, then he covered Nick in kisses while they were swimming in liquid gold. 

They stayed on the roof until their protesting stomachs drove them back into the house and into the kitchen. There they found the others, already enjoying their coffee.

"Look who's back," Chris greeted them. "Are you suddenly anxious about us or just too exhausted to go on?"

"Spare your breath for singing," Nick replied. "And give us a coffee."

"Alright, boss," his friend said smirking.

Strengthened with coffee and toast, they got to work once again.

[sylvanfreckles]

They Look So Pretty When They Bleed (Whumptober 2020)

AU of episode 15.09, “The Trap”. Separated in Purgatory, Castiel finds himself in the hands of the leviathan who have taken him captive for a sinister purpose, only to be rescued by an unlikely ally.

* * *

One of the leviathan, armed with a crude stone ax, broke the lines of the angel trap. Before Castiel could take advantage of his returning grace the others had tackled him, binding his wrists with coarse rope and hauling him away from the clearing. He tried to look back to see if Dean was safe but they surrounded him to propel him forward.

“The human's dead anyway,” one of the leviathan sneered in his ear. “He'll never make it to the exit. You should have just let us gut 'im.”

Castiel flinched away from the creature's glistening teeth. They didn't know about Michael's rift or they would have killed Dean on the spot rather than accept Castiel's bargain. He'd promised to submit and go peacefully to face whatever judgment Eve required, but in truth he was waiting for the best opportunity to break away. There had to be more leviathan blooms somewhere, and even with the dark influence of Purgatory pressing down around him an angel was more than a match for a dozen leviathan.

After perhaps ninety minutes of walking, during which time Castiel valiantly hoped Dean had woken up and started back for the rift rather than on some insane rescue, they broke through the forest into another clearing. This one had a broad stone altar in the center and a handful of torches scattered around.

“Where's Lud?” one of the leviathan called.

“He's on his way,” another answered. She had a coil of rope over her arm and was brushing leaves off of the altar to reveal a carved design. “Should we wait for the others?”

The leviathan holding Castiel's arm shook his head. “Can't risk the rebels finding out. As soon as Lud gets back we'll start the ceremony.”

Ceremony? “I thought you were taking me to see Eve,” Castiel said as the leviathan moved around him to prepared for a ritual. “This was not our agreement.”

“We are,” the leviathan holding him answered. “Samlah?”

“Ready,” the woman called back. She stepped away from the altar to reveal the intricate angel trap etched into its surface. “And Lud's here.”

Another one came jogging out of the trees, a roll of animal pelt under one arm. “We've only got three left, Tema” he said to the one holding Castiel.

“It's enough,” Tema replied. “Do it.”

The leviathan named Lud rolled out the animal pelt on the ground near the altar. It had an assortment of crude surgical tools made of rock and bone, some crumbled leaves from a plant Castiel didn't recognize, and three dirty syringes. As Castiel stared Lud rolled up one sleeve to plunge a syringe into the crook of his arm, drawing out vile black blood.

“Altar,” Tema snapped.

Castiel didn't wait to see what the leviathan had planned. He twisted away to break out of Tema's grip, snapping the weak bonds on his wrists as he did so. The leviathan roared in fury, its brothers answering its cry. They charged, wielding their rough weapons, faces morphing into nightmares.

They had taken his angel blade when they captured him, but Castiel met the assault head-on. He caught the wrist of the first attacker and twisted it back, slamming his knee into the elbow joint so the leviathan dropped the stone knife it had been carrying. He picked up the knife to block the next attack but a rock caught him in the shoulder and spun him off-balance so that the leviathan's club landed on his outstretched arm instead.

More rocks struck him across the back. Someone got hold of his arm and swung him around into another leviathan's fist. He reeled back and more hands grabbed him by the shoulders. Something slammed against his knees, making them buckle. His arms were pulled away from his sides, forcing his elbows and shoulders to lock so he couldn't pull away.

“Hurry,” Tema said, unruffled by the short fight. “We're too exposed here.

Lud was walking toward them, three syringes filled with blood in his hands. “Will this be enough?”

“It better be,” Tema replied. “Do it.”

The leviathan walked around behind Castiel. A hand tangled in his hair to force his head down, then the sharp pain of a needle pierced his neck. He might have screamed, except that the pain caused his body to lock up even down to his lungs.

Demon blood would burn an angel from the inside out.

Leviathan blood was primordial ice.

Castiel was barely aware of the hands hauling him to the altar as his body twisted in agony. They laid him out on the stone and tied his hands and feet down, and the moment he was within the angel trap his grace shut down and the leviathin blood tore into him. He couldn't get enough air in to make a sound, much less a feeble attempt to free himself.

Tema leaned over him, holding a small stone blade that looked like a crude scalpel. “You see, Mother isn't here. We returned to Purgatory but she was sent somewhere deeper.” He pressed the tip of the blade to the inside of Castiel's elbow and dragged it down, opening the skin so that blood flowed over the angel's arm and onto the altar. “Only a very special sacrifice will bring her back.”

Another leviathan cut into his other arm. The his inner thigh down to his knees, then the bottoms of his feet. The backs of his calves. The lowest ribs on each side. The blood pooled beneath his body, filling the lines of the angel trap.

Samlah was leaning over him, too, casually studying the bloodied knife in her hands. “I keep forgetting,” she mused.

“What?” Tema demanded.

“Angels really aren't much to look at,” she explained, face splitting into a nightmare grin. “But they sure are pretty when they bleed.”

Tema answered with a grin of his own. “Let's begin.”

A howl rent the dark forest around them. The leviathan leader swore and dropped his stone scalpel. “The rebels,” he hissed. “Spread out.”

There was a commotion at the edge of the clearing. The paralysis of the leviathan had worn off enough that Castiel could crane his neck to see what was happening, but there wasn't much more than the confused shadows of a fight. The howl had sounded like a werewolf, but he couldn't think why one of them would attack such a large group of leviathan.

Others were joining the battle now. He thought he saw a wolf bound into the clearing, shifting into a man in time to knock the blade out of a leviathan's hand. Someone leaped onto the altar, feet on either side of Castiel's body, and when they arched back to let out a scream of challenge he caught sight of their fangs.

Werewolves, skinwalkers, vampires...what could have brought them all together to challenge the leviathan?

A smaller, slight figure slipped out of the trees and dropped to her knees beside the altar. “Castiel?”

He stared at her, at the long brown hair and intense, dark eyes. “Lenore?”

The vampire smiled in relief. “Hold on, I'm gonna cut you free.” She grabbed the scalpel that Tema had dropped and sawed at the ropes that held Castiel's wrists and ankles. There was nothing she could do for his injuries, but if he could get off the angel trap then his grace might be able to purge the rest of theone of leviathan blood.

“Can you stand?” Lenore asked, leaning close to be heard over the din of battle.

“Angel trap,” Castiel shook his head. “We need to break one of the lines.”

Lenore studied the trap for a moment, then picked up a fallen rock from beside the altar. She brought it down on one edge of the trap, hammering at it over and over until one of the intersecting lines crumbled into itself.

His grace broke free with a howl, though it wasn't quite enough to restore his full strength. He rolled off the altar with Lenore's help, accepting her enhanced strength to stay upright. “We have to go,” she said, wrapping his arm around her slender shoulders. “The others will keep the leviathan distracted.”

Castiel focused on the vampire at his side as she lead him, stumbling, away from the light of the clearing into the woods. Questions swirled in his head, but he made himself focus on staying upright and following Lenore as she lead him deeper into the shadows of the trees.

“Where are we going?” he asked as they stumbled down a faint trail. The sound of battle was growing fainter, but they were still too close for Castiel's liking.

“I just have to get you away,” Lenore explained. “When he finds us he can explain.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask who 'he' was, but something crashed into them and sent them tumbling to the forest floor. Lenore was wrenched from Castiel's side and flung deeper into the trees, then Tema was picking Castiel up and slamming him against a nearby tree, a feral growl deep in his chest.

“Where do you think you're going?” he snarled.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” a deeper voice drawled from behind Tema. Before the leviathan had time to respond he was torn away from Castiel. The angel had a glimpse of a tall figure with broad shoulders throwing the leviathan to the ground, before Lenore managed to make it back to his side.

“Come on,” she urged, tugging him forward. She held him up when he stumbled and together they limped down the faint trail. “Benny's got this, we need to move.”

“Benny?” Castiel tried to look behind them but Lenore pulled on his arm.

“We have to go,” she insisted.

Cas?

“Dean?”

Cas, I hope you can hear me.

Dean was praying. Castiel grit his teeth and limped after Lenore, forcing his exhausted body to keep moving forward as his friend's words echoed in his mind. Words of pain and absolution, as cathartic for man as for angel. He focused on the words instead of his ailing body, until his legs collapsed as the last dregs of strength left him.

“Get back up, please, we're almost there,” Lenore urged.

Castiel let the vampire leaver him back up, but he was forced to lean most of his weight on her to stay standing. “Where are you taking me?”

“To the rift. One of our scouts found it, we followed your trail from there. Benny thought the leviathan might be trying something when they left your human friend behind to take you to their altar.”

“'Course I was right, hot wings,” Benny announced, shoving his way through the undergrowth to join them. “Summoning Mama from the underworld. Guess they thought it was poetic to use you.”

Castiel studied the vampire, too exhausted to be surprised at his presence. “They told us you were dead.”

Benny threw his head back and laughed. “Me? Darlin, there ain't a creature in here that would lay a hand on me except Mama's little bitches. They all know the Winchesters sent me here to run the place.”

“That's not what happened,” Castiel protested, brow furrowed.

Benny held a finger to his lips and winked. “Our little secret, Cas.”

“We should get moving,” Lenore interrupted. “Dean should reach the rift before long.”

“Wait,” Castiel pulled back when Benny stepped forward to support him. “I can't go back.”

“Not again, Cas,” Benny growled. “You know it almost killed Dean last time? You're goin' back with him if I have to chuck you through the rift with my bare hands.”

Castiel shook his head. “We came here for something. A leviathan blossom. I can't leave until I find one of those.”

The vampires exchanged a puzzled glance. “Why do you want one of those?” Lenore asked.

“We need it to stop God.”

Silence fell between the three of them, then Benny raised his hands and chuckled. “I'm not even gonna ask. Lenore, you get hot wings here to the rift, I'll go get him his little flower.”

With a final wave the big vampire trotted off, leaving Lenore to wrap one arm around Castiel's waist to support him as they made their way toward the rift.

“I never got the chance to apologize,” Castiel said after a few minutes had passed.

“To me?” Lenore shook her head. “For what?”

“For ending your life. I was caught up with the complications of my own deceptions and never considered another alternative. You would potentially have returned to yourself once we destroyed Eve.”

“Castiel, I had killed someone,” Lenore replied gently. “I was so sickened with myself for doing it, and it was even worse because I didn't want to stop. I was grateful, really. I died while I still had control of my mind, not when I was the monster I'd fought to be my whole life.

“And this place may not be heaven, but it's getting better. There's a group of us who look out for each other now. It's not the same constant struggle for survival it was before Benny returned.”

“Is he the king of Purgatory?”

Lenore gave a soft laugh. “Maybe someday,” she said as the soft glow of the rift came into sight.

“Cas?” Dean was there, next to the rift, phone in his hand. Castiel could see the timer still counting down, just a few minutes left until the rift would close. The hunter's eyes were wide, then he was striding across the clearing and pulling Castiel into an embrace.

It hurt—Dean was unintentionally putting pressure on the wounds in Castiel's sides—but he let himself soak in the warmth of his friend's arms. “Dammit, man, I didn't think you were gonna make it.”

“I wouldn't have without Lenore's assistance,” Castiel explained as Dean stepped back, maintaining a supportive hold on Castiel's arm.

“Who?” Dean glanced at the vampire, who was waiting a few paces away. His brow furrowed for a moment in concentration, then he straightened up. “Hey, aren't you...?”

Lenore tilted her head. “I wish it were under better circumstances, but it's good to see you again.”

“Yeah...” Dean nodded. “Thanks for...” he trailed off, jerking his head toward Castiel.

“You'd better hurry,” Lenore said. “I think you only have a few minutes.”

Castiel pulled back against Dean as the hunter turned for the rift. “What about Benny?”

“Benny?” Dean whipped back around. “He's alive?”

“He said he would try to find a leviathan blossom.”

Lenore shook her head. “I'm sorry, but I don't think that's possible. They just aren't very common, and most of them are heavily guarded by the leviathan themselves. I don't think he can find one and make it back in time.”

“Aw, where's your faith in me? You're breakin' my heart.” Benny leaped down from one of the trees above them, straightening up to his full height when he landed and holding a bright red blossom in front of Castiel with a teasing grin. “Your flower, sweetheart?”

Castiel rolled his eyes but accepted the blossom. “I am not your sweetheart,” he grumbled.

Benny winked at him and turned to Dean, pulling the hunter into a one-armed hug. “Good to see you, brother.”

“Benny, man,” Dean slapped the vampire on the back. “They said you were dead.”

“Can't believe you lost faith in me. Hot wings over there I can handle, but you, Dean? For shame.”

Dean managed a weak chuckle. “Hey, man, we could really use your help with what's going on.”

Castiel stiffened. While he had no grudge against the vampire, he wasn't sure it was such a good idea to invite him back to the living world. Especially with Lenore right there, with no way for her to crossover.

But Benny was already shaking his head. “Sorry, Dean. I got a lot of people back here who need me now.”

“Yeah,” Dean let out a sigh, hefting Castiel a little closer for support. “Well, you take care of yourself.”

Lenore had slipped up to Benny's side, and Castiel thought he saw her slide her hand into the bigger vampire's. “We'll catch you next time,” Benny said.

Dean held a hand up in farewell, then turned to help Castiel through the rift. “Crazy vamp,” he muttered. “How many times does he think we're gonna come back here?”

Judging by the peal of laughter from Benny just before the rift snapped shut, the vampire had heard them.

And, judging by the grin on Dean's face, that had been his intent.