#LUBE 101

[imabillyami]

What I imagine the bottom to look and feel like whenever I see y’all write anal without lube & prep 🫠

Now that I have your attention, please join me in a quick writing anal 101 here.

Ready? Okay here we go!

Unless you’re writing fantasy/magical realism/ ABO? Assholes don’t self-lubricate or magically extend just because someone is turned on or meets their one true dick 😭

Trust me, anal without lube/prep? It HURTS. Cruelly so sometimes. It can cause tearing and bleeding (which can become really fucking dangerous when that leads to infection) and has absolutely zero to do with actual pleasure unless you’re into pain play.

So for the love of god. Please have your characters use some sort of lubricant to prep before going to town on each other 😭 Their assholes will thank you (and so will I.)

Additionally: If you use anything but water-based or silicone lubes please remember that whatever you use can break down the latex and therefore compromise condoms.

While baby-oil, lotion, even kitchen oils can all work as lubricants (spit does not possess the same qualities as a lubricant just fyi), they will cause safety issues with latex and most polyisoprene condoms. That goes for vag use too btw.

If you or your characters want to use anything but water-based or silicone lube? Use polyurethane condoms (though these have a 5-times greater chance of breaking or slipping off than their aforementioned friends).

Thought I’d use this meme-worthy moment to do some basic sex ed for writing purposes (and real life purposes).

Not telling anyone how to write their fics, but it can’t hurt to know these things.

Cause oftentimes there’s a severe lack of knowledge (or care) in fandom spaces, where people just don’t look this stuff up. And that’s dangerous.

I’m going based on my personal experiences (and those of the people around me) here, so don’t come @ me. If things are different for you somehow? That’s great.

BUT:

Every time the no lube/prep thing happens, you can imagine me screaming “LUBE! LUBE! LUUUUUBE!” at my screen in absolute horror.

(As the way of the fandom is all ‘don’t like, don’t read’, I’ll exit out of the fic and never read anything by that author ever again (unless pain kink or dry anal was explicitly stated in the tags), but oftentimes the lack of lube and prep happens without any warning, so there’s no way to see it coming. And that’s rather triggering and disturbing.)

If you wanna have your characters stick it into each other that way (or wanna do so in real life?) Alrighty. You do you. But tag it accordingly so people can apply the ‘don’t like, don’t read’ rule accordingly or avoid a severe trigger like that.

Anyway. This was sex ed 101 under a Solo meme. My job here is done.

Have a lovely day 🫡

[televisionforwhales]

Gather 'round, folks!

It's time to fact-check your blorbo's prostate. In the Real World, he would NOT cum like that. Friendly reminder that we can be self-indulgent (and horny!) with our little meow meows and be perfectly realistic too. There's a lot of fictional sex misinformation (...mis-sex-formation? LOL!) so don't let your guard down, okay? DANGER DANGER DANGER DA-

Happy reading/writing! :-)

[suguru-getos]

࿐ husband neuvillette nsfw hcs (f!reader) ࿐

you didn’t know when you got married to the chief justice that he was that good in bed. like? how? where do you get the time? :// honestly — it’s insane. the way he knows your sweet spot as if it’s what he’s been searching for all this time. when the first time you two did it, it got you dizzy and you cried at the overwhelming love & affection he showered you with.

peppering sweet kisses everywhere, your forehead, your cheek, your chin, right below your ears until he reaches your collarbone !! neuvillette loves to nibble onto your supple skin. gently suckling at the sweet spot on your neck until you get used to it, then switching to a harsher suckle, maybe a little teeth. it’s the territorial instinct inside him which gets him hard and turned on the moment he sees you all vulnerable and marked up.

he loves toying with your titties, he’d literally spend a lot of time on them. massaging them, kneading them with his large, powerful hands and marking them his. the way his tongue twirls into your aching bud and makes you gasp for more. yes, he has made you cum with just your titties alone. you didn’t know it was possible until neuvillette decided it is.

neuvillette is a dom inside out. a pleasure dom who gets off to seeing you writhe under him. you’d always be told to moan out. “come now darling, don’t try to hide your moans. i want to know how it makes you feel.” he’d slowly yank your palm off your mouth. “sing for me.” he cooes as he thrusts inside you, watching your eyes roll back in sheer pleasure.

breeding kink 101. i think he uses a lot of words and phrases like, “going to look so cute with your belly carrying our child”, “going to breed my little angel full of me, she can take it right? of course she can. tell me — tell me you want to be bred full of my seed.”

size kink -> it’s always hard for you to fit him inside, he’s especially huge and girthy, veins decorating his thick cock while he lubes your cunt with his pre. he loves when you get a little intimidated by his size until he has to assure you that he’d always take care of you & never hurt you.

despite him not being too harsh most of the time, he still insists on there being safewords. “don’t want this possibility to ever come true, but still, no harm in being prepared darling.” he’s fine if you make up your own safe word or he is happy to follow the traffic light system for ya.

sometimes though? you want him to snap. best method is to make your territorial dragon jealous. there are often events like banquets held in fontaine & as the chief justice; he mostly attends those. it’s more than easy for you to rile him up by being a tad too nice with others 🤷🏻‍♀️ he’d pin you against the wall, the same stern glare that he carries in court now attacking you. “seems like you’re purposely getting on my nerves darling.” he hums, leaning in and inhaling your scent. “going to make sure to take proper measures so this isn’t repeated. you’re going to like that too much won’t you?” oh yes you will —

he doesn’t do punishments, just funishments. you’d have to ask him to partake in those because let’s be real, you can’t possibly expect the man who’s simping for you so hard to think of the possibility of hurting you. you’d have to tell him you like the pain. 😏 impact play, edging, he’d be partaking in all those for his little darling.

he likes to particularly cockwarm you though. it’s the whole power play high of it and the desperation in your eyes which makes it exhilarating for him. “stay still for me yes? i don’t want you to not cum now. just because you’re greedy.” oh you love it when he gets all in control like that.

whenever he decides to spank you, it’s always going to be over the knee. he wants to feel you close, it comforts both you & him. the impact precise and calculated, watching the color of your ass change with a soft smirk. “you love this too much don’t you? ah~ i can see it.” fingers languidly touching your needy, wet pussy as the spanks push you over the edge.

aftercare king and he’s almost apologetic after every harsh scene. “you okay? sure? i want you to know i love you & you did so well for me. i’m so proud of my wife.” words of affirmation king 👑 along with a clingy cuddle bug. 🤭

[mlmxreader]

Toy Boy | Johnny Cage x m!reader (🍋)

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ Could you do one with prompts 101 and 114, with Cage and M reader?? ❞

: ̗̀➛ You and Johnny decide to have a little fun for the day.

: ̗̀➛ daddy kink, cockwarming, praise kink, free use, mentions of breeding kink

↳ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

Old heavy metal songs by Metallica, Sodom, Slayer and Cannibal Corpse were playing on the speaker as you sat so nicely on Johnny's lap; his cock buried in your ass as he held one hand over your mouth, the other holding the phone against his ear as he spoke to his publicist.

They asked if he had seen you at all, as because you were his agent you were expected to sort out his bookings for the awards season, but Johnny just laughed and said that you were more than busy for the moment.

It was never a secret that you and Johnny were together, as the paparazzi had leaked the relationship early on when they caught him on a beach with you, wearing just swim trunks and kissing and hugging.

It was obvious from the start, and neither you nor Johnny ever saw any point in hiding it anyway.

Sure, interviewers asked him about what it was like to date his agent every time he went to press junkets, but he was always honest - he adored you, and he loved that you never had any qualms with telling him off when he needed it.

You were the reason why he was rumoured to be winning an Oscar; you had nagged him into taking a role for a large director that you were a fan of, a biopic about a scientist during the first World War, and he had been a massive success.

People hadn't stopped talking about the film, or his performance, for months. He was a fan favourite to win the Oscar.

But that didn't stop you from being completely different in the bedroom; always willing and eager to submit to him, always more than happy to lube yourself up so that you could be his cockwarmer throughout the night and during the day.

Letting him have free access to you as long as you wore one red sock and one green one. In the bedroom, you were his favourite fuck toy; his prized toy boy.

He loved the way you looked when he fucked you doggy style on the bed facing the mirror; watching you get cockdrunk and cumdrunk, begging for him to breed you.

He adored how you would happily rush into bathrooms with him at restaurants and awards ceremonies just for a quickie. Johnny fucking knew that he had stuck gold with you. His publicist hung up, and he tossed the phone aside as he hummed, lazily bucking his hips up into you.

"Such a good boy," he said softly, running a hand down your back. "Keeping Daddy's cock nice and warm in your tight ass."

You let out a shaky sigh, wanting nothing more than to be fucked and bred until his cum was leaking from your ass and you could hardly walk; twitching and writhing on the sofa until you couldn't move anymore, only able to whimper out quiet begs for him to keep going.

Overstimulated and completely spent by the time that he eventually pulled out. Drooling until a puddle formed beneath you, sweating and panting heavily. But you knew that if you wanted that, you would have to behave.

You would have to be so good for Johnny if you were to get what you wanted. He grabbed the remote, turning the speaker off before he turned the television on, casually flicking through the channels until he found an old spaghetti Western on; it was by one of his favourite directors, Sergio Leone, and was rightfully rendered as iconic.

He bucked his hips up into you just to listen to your shaky breath as you shuddered and tried to hold it in; torturing you so wonderfully and knowing all the right strings to pull.

"What's the matter, baby?" Johnny hummed, leaning forward so that he could gently hold your throat. "Hmm?"

You swallowed thickly, doing your best not to squirm and buck your hips. "Daddy, I need you..."

He grinned as he licked his lips, clearing his throat as he leaned back with his hands on the back of his head. "Show me how much you need it."

Relief washed over you in short bursts of waves. Rocking your hips slowly, getting him to groan and tilt his head back as he closed his eyes; you could feel him getting hard as you picked up the pace, moving your hips so that his cock hit all the places in your ass.

Making you buckle and groan as you leaned over, putting your hands on the coffee table. Johnny tilted his head forward, able to see his cock pumping in and out of your stretched ass as he bit his lip, stifling a soft grunt.

A string of praises and encouragements left his mouth as he grabbed your sides to keep you steady, his grip bruising and harsh. Fuck. You always took his cock so well.

You were so well trained, bouncing your ass and clenching around him as you whimpered and hung your head. Johnny couldn't help but to smile, slowly thrusting into you.

He grumbled, watching you fuck yourself as his eyes drifted to the television; against the screen, he could see the reflection of him fucking you, and couldn't help but to grin.

It was always his favourite time when he had you on your hands and knees on the bed, facing the mirror so that he could see your face as he fucked you; watching you slowly become an incoherent and needy mess, drooling and unable to do anything but keep fucking yourself on his cock.

Completely drunk, and even getting more drunk from his cum when he bred you. Listening to the soft squelches as he fucked it back into you.

Fuck. Oh, fuck. He tilted his head back again, letting out a long moan as he closed his eyes in bliss; you were such a good boy, such a good little fuck toy for him to use. You would always be his favourite toy boy.

But the way you clenched around him, and how he could feel your body tremble and shake as you chased your release; the sounds of a gunfight on the television masking the slapping of skin so easily as he gripped your sides tighter, pulling you back so that your back was flush to his chest.

He picked up the pace, fucking up into you and pounding your ass as he let go of one side, bringing his thumb to your mouth. He slipped the digit between your lips, and moaned softly when you sucked it. Your tongue running over the tip and swirling around the base.

"Such a good boy," Johnny praised with harsh breaths. "Always such a good boy for Daddy, huh, baby?"

You whimpered, clenching around him as you felt drool slip from the corner of your mouth, leaking down your skin as you shuddered and shook. "I wanna... I wanna..."

"What is it, baby?" He asked softly, running a hand down your torso and stopping just shy of your cock.

You let out a harsh and shaky breath. "I wanna, wanna cum - please, Daddy... been so good..."

"I know, baby," Johnny whispered, licking a stripe up the side of your neck. "Whenever you're ready, okay?"

You nodded, thankful that you didn't have to try and hold yourself back. You clenched around him a final time, your eyes closing tightly as you groaned out his name, toes curling and thighs shaking as you felt your cum spurt onto your stomach.

You tilted your head back, giving him perfect access to the sensitive skin; Johnny didn't even think twice, licking the sweaty skin before sinking into it.

Claiming you as he froze and grunted out your name, slowly easing into you as he felt his cum fill your ass; soft squelches echoing through the room as he eased you through your orgasm. He fell back, the back of his head hitting the sofa as he sighed heavily, daring to laugh.

"You good?"

You nodded, clearing your throat as you stood up. You didn't get far, collapsing onto your back on the sofa as you sighed contentedly. "Fuck, John."

Johnny grinned at you as he licked his lips. "We just did."

You scoffed, playfully glaring at him. "Shut up and get me a cigarette, would you?"

Groaning softly, Johnny stood. Daring to pause and kiss your forehead before he wandered off to grab your cigarettes. "Y'know, we should think about showering."

"Once I've got my cigarette," you chuckled. "I'm fucking spent."

"Well, maybe we can skip the globes," he hummed, handing you the packet and sitting beside you. "Have a night, just you and me."

"No," you growled, lighting it. "We have to be there, if you win then it could be huge for your career."

"And there he is," Johnny laughed. "Immediately into work mode already."

You rolled your eyes fondly. "I might be your boyfriend, but don't forget I'm still your agent."

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Is it safe to bottom (amab) if I have a history of anal fissures? Are there any steps to make it work?

That and poor health have been keeping me from experimenting for a while

hi anon,

there are several steps to having safer penetrative anal, the most basic ones being the use of lube and condoms/gloves to help things move for smoothly inside the rectum.

being physically on top while you're being penetrated may also be helpful, since it gives you greater control over the speed + depth of penetration and tailor it to suit your comfort. remember, kids - bottoming just means you're the one getting stuff put in you! it doesn't have to dictate where you physically are in the arrangement!

be CAREFUL if you're planning to douche in preparation for anal play; doing it unsafely or even too often can damage the tissue in your anus as much as the sex can. check out the San Francisco AIDS Foundation's tips for safer douching here if that's something you're interested in.

this is safety 101, but for the best advice - and I know it's unfun and deeply unsexy, I know - I would recommend consulting with a healthcare provider if you're having serious concerns about your ability to have anal sex. awkward conversation, sure, but they can assess they state of your ass and its suitability for penetration much better than I can.

[nerdieforpedro]

WIP Wednesday/Thursday

I did try and post this on Wednesday (sure late but it’s been awhile 👀) and on this rainy night, my computer decided to it be a a team player. Not cool.

So…writing has been slow and I’m pretty sure I posted stuff on AO3 and not here because half the time Tumblr eats my posts that aren’t reblogs 😭

I blame @megamindsecretlair and @soft-persephone for summoning from my cozy gremlin activities under a bridge and planting this brainworm:

“If you are open to doing so my fair General. I feel a bit fatigued. I will let my attendant know that I am heading inside to rest as my husband and I will travel back to our estate tomorrow.” Her round face stretches with the smile she has upon her face, briefly she touches his hand, her fingertips touching his calloused ones. “He will not return as Gaius does not enjoy my company. Only tolerates it. The last room, third floor on the left.” Her hand leaves his as he attempts to grab it and he turns to watch her step away. “Call me Arcus. See what message I shall impart to you tonight.” His eyes focus on her wide hips that are headed toward the main building where the invites and their wives were staying for the duration of the soiree. Swallowing hard, the General knows he should not follow her. It would be participating in infidelity and despite many offers over the years, Marcus resisted. He nearly always had access to women that were unattached and available. Milling around for ten minutes felt like an eternity, speaking to other officials and so-called important people, yawning and mentioning that he would likely retire to his room soon and would be no good to anyone until the sun rose. Hopefully this would be enough to cement that he should not be disturbed.

Infidelity? Sure! Murder? Very likely. Bad humor somewhere? It’s a Nerdie fic and General Marcus Acacius is not except. Smut? Somewhere in there. 👀 It will happen. I need mental lube, I can’t just dive in there. Gotta give a fic a couple rubs in a circle before the smut. 🤣

Yeah the General is not immune. Pfft.

The second one I was pleasantly surprised to make some headway on, apparently Nerdie is about her historical men and violence. That’s not at all concerning. 🤔

“I agree with the lady Father. She is our responsibility and should remain with us.” Pero steps between her and the Father. He knows men like this priest, who act holier than most but if given the funds, access and anonymity, they would live in a brothel. Father Ignacio takes a step back, the Spaniard is intimidating to say the least and the priest is sure that he has no qualms about spilling blood in a house of God. William is watching the exchange between the three and is trying to think of a compromise, it’s a bad one, but it’s better than being run out of the village for killing this man.

More for my Pero series which is like historical fiction with dragons 🐉 because why not? ☺️ I will have Pero destroying something because he needs to be using those powers and why not? Wanton destruction sometimes, am I right? 🫡

Yup, quit while I’m behind. Anyway, that’s what I got. Weddings 101 with Dieter is still in the works with @angelofsmalldeath-codeine . So are all the other series I’ve got, there’s a lot 🤭

I also might be writing an anime one-shot. First one in years. 😃

People who I’m 75.8% sure tagged me in the last few weeks:

@604to647 @for-a-longlongtime @magpiepills @syd-djarin @djarinmuse

@maggiemayhemnj @sin-djarin @tinytinymenace @lotusbxtch @mysterious-moonstruck-musings

@connectioneverywhere @morallyinept @doscharolastras @chaithetics @lady-bess

@secretelephanttattoo @goodwithcheese @missladym1981 @pedroshotwifey @slippinninque

@inept-the-magnificent @avastrasposts @frenchiereading @soft-girl-musings @perotovar

@legendary-pink-dot @fhatbhabiee @yorksgirl

[gabessquishytum]

Hob recently moved into this kick-ass new apartment building -- it's apartments are all centered around a courtyard. Hob's apartment looks out over the front fountain and a little bench (he thought he saw a black blur surrounded by pigeons, when he quickly looked out his window the other day).

In any event, Hob loves finally living alone! It means he can walk around naked all he wants - do his morning yoga naked; bop around cooking (non splat-ery things) or cleaning naked - and not worry about offending a roommate. He can masterbate any time, in any room, he wants too. Hob is so happy!

Hob bought curtains, okay. He even put them up. Thank you very much. But,,,,he might have,,,,put them up not great. Suffice to say, Hob doesn’t realize he's giving his cross courtyard neighbors (Dream, Cori, Destruction) a free show. Hob gets home from classes around 3:30 (on Mondays, Wednesdays & Thursdays) -- he's gloriously naked by 3:45 -- and he does "Sun Salute" bright and early every morning. Nakedly.

Dream, Cori and Ollie know someone should say something,,,offer to at least fix hot guy's curtains,,,,,but he's sooooo attractive. He's hairy in all the best ways, his cock looks beautiful, even from the distance (and even when not hard). He's so hot they just can't stop looking. They don't even know each other are just staring (; they're not friends, they just grab drinks every now and again, when they can convince Dream to stop "arting").

It gets worse when Naked!Neighbor breaks out the dildos and lube -- he just goes to town on what is obviously a slutty slutty hole (look at how it takes the dildo!! 🫣) and the boys just can't even deal!

WOOO yes this!!!! this is wonderful!!!! Love the idea of the three roomies all lusting over oblivious Hob.

One night the guys have persuaded Dream out of his room and they're all having drinks together - everyone's a tiny bit tipsy, even Destruction. The conversation inevitably turns to crushes and romance and (because Cori is there) sex.

Destruction blushingly admits that there's this one guy he really likes. They've never even spoken, but he's so hot, exactly his type. He looks like he could really take everything Destruction wants to give him, and oh, he's so captivatingly flexible. He can't believe he's admitting it out loud but this guy totally made him lose no nut november.

Cori interrupts with a cackle, and his own crush story. He hasn't had to use porn in months because he's been watching thinking about this one guy. Cori is just obsessed with him and his sinfully plump little arse. He's got 101 fantasies about what he wants to do with this guy.

To save himself from having to hear about Cori’s various kinks yet again, Dream shares that he also has his eye on someone. He's been sketching this guy for months and swears that he has the perfect physical form. His skin is like a sunrise, his hair is like the richest earth... Dream is extremely poetically horny about him. True to his name he's even had (wet) dreams about the guy.

The three of them all raise a toast - to each of them getting their respective man! It's a rather wholesome moment after all.

And, as though their hopes and wishes have all started to come true... they all get a chance with Hob!

Destruction spots Hob having trouble with his bike one day, and helps him fix it. To thank him, Hob invites him back to his place and it's not long before he's demonstrating his strength and flexibility with his thighs hooked over Destruction's shoulders.

Cori meets him in the hallway and they get chatting about true crime podcasts. Before long, Cori finds himself invited back to Hob’s flat. Within 15 minutes he's getting intimately acquainted with that perfect arse and fucking Hob hard and fast over the kitchen table.

Dream finally bumps into Hob in the cute little courtyard, and they get talking about the pigeons and Dream’s drawings. Hob ultimately invites him up to talk more as he's interested in buying one of Dream’s paintings... but they quickly get distracted. Hob shows exactly why he did all that practice bouncing on the dildo and rides Dream’s dick into oblivion.

And still the three roomies don't know that they're banging the same guy! And Hob doesn't know that the three guys he's had amazing sex with recently are roommates!

And he still hasn't got his curtains fixed! 😁

[lbcreations-blog]

Please can you write Sir Pentious x afab reader smut

2!? Now that's what I like

Note to requester: I apologize for this coming out so late. I was not sure, like at all, on what to write, so I hope the final product is good to you and, of course, others

Gender of reader varies in certain parts if that makes sense

Type: Headcanons and a little smthn smthn

Ganre: smut

Masterlist

If this is his first time with you, he is going to be extremely nervous

I feel that when he gets into it, it's going to be pretty nice, especially since it's known that if you have the right amount of nerves, your performance can be quite well

Now he's known to be slimy, so there is no need for lube (money saver 101)

You will also love it for the noises it will make (if you are into that)

If you have two holes, he's gonna love that you can cockwarm both

If you only have one, he's fine with that, too it just might feel a lil weird for him if only one is in

You were so 𝓉𝒾𝓰𝒽𝓉 around him. He honestly loved putting both in one hole. At first, Pentious was worried that you would get hurt badly, but all you felt was pleasure even if it stang abit at the start. Now, with him thrusting ever so slightly, you felt you could release any second, and so could he.

Taglist: @fatherlesschild2 @whitewingsh @iheartpieck @i-yuki @ilovemyths2003 @im-so-tired52 @yuuandtheghost

Taglist request section

[happiness-of-the-pursuit]

WIP Wednesday: But Make it Different

Hi y'all!

First off, thanks for the tags! Second, this is going to be a bit of a different WIP Wednesday post.

@affectionatelyrs and I are planning to post our epistolary roommates fic VERY soon. I wrote part of a message from Henry to Alex that had to be deleted, but instead of it living forever in a doc, I've included it here. I felt they were important to share, because they're actually useful resources :)

I had to cut a few because of Tumblr's limit on links. They're below the cut because they make the post super long, but this does give you a sneak peak into the fic :)

Thanks @sparklepocalypse @affectionatelyrs @xthelastknownsurvivorx @magicandarchery @captainjunglegym @leojfitz @junebugclaremontdiaz @14carrotghoul @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @wordsofhoneydew @suseagull04 @itsmaybitheway @bigassbowlingballhead @firenati0n @eusuntgratie @leaves-of-laurelin for the tags!!! I've been enjoying your snippets so much in my email and I need to go interact with them here now :)

I'm late, so I won't tag too many people, but here you go @read-and-write- @kiwiana-writes @littlemisskittentoes @cactusdragon517 @emmalostinwonderland @msmarvelouswinchester @rockyroadkylers @gayrootvegetable @gay-flyboys @inexplicablymine @galitzine-nick and @songliili :)

Bisexuality Resources:

Queer Community 101:

Dating Apps:

Sex-related resources:

[frenchfrywrites]

Kinktober Day 2

Tickling

MINORS DNI

Dom genitals ambiguous gender neutral reader, sub Diavolo, tickling, overstimulation

Tonight, you sneak out of the House of Lamentation, and make your way to Diavolo's castle. Barbatos greets you at the door, and promises not to let the others know about your whereabouts. You find Diavolo laying on his bed, nose-deep in a book. You recognize it immediately as youthful fun 101.

"What're you reading about?" you ask, sliding into the bed next to him.

He cries out your name excitedly, taking your face in his hands and landing a loving kiss on your lips. "I was reading about the practice of tickle fights," he explains, closing the book and turning to you, "it sounds silly. Do humans really do this?"

"Um, yeah I guess sometimes, when you're a kid," you answer honestly, and then regret it when you see the glint in Dia's eyes.

"Oh please can we try it? Just for a little while, I wish to see if it really is as fun as it sounds." You think about it for a second. You can't remember the last time you had a tickle fight, but it certainly wasn't any time recently, and it just seems a bit ridiculous for two adults to do it. Then again, Dia is looking at you with his big golden eyes, his bottom lip jutted out in a pout, and as you recall his isolated childhood you feel yourself cave.

Instead of giving him a proper answer, you grin, giving him only a split-second to realize what's to come before you reach out and begin tickling him. Diavolo shrieks, and then breaks out in cacophonous laughter. He shakes and squirms under you, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath between peals of laughter, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes.

You start laughing too, partly because it's about as fun as you remember, and partly because his joy is infectious.

Eventually you find yourself on top of him, straddling his body so he can't escape your attacks— so to speak. It takes you a moment to notice it but in this position you feel a very familiar bulge under you. Your fingers still as you realize that Dia's gotten hard from this.

"Sorry," he whines breathlessly, "sorry I do not know— it just happened— I mean," he searches for words, looking far too anxious under you.

"It's okay," you hum, brushing his hair from his flushed face.

You grind down on him and Dia whimpers, his face flushed, still catching his breath. "You were having a lot of fun, weren't you?" He nods to your question, and you let your fingers tickle him again. He lets out a startled laugh, then

"Please, please," he begs, maybe to stop your relentless fingers, maybe to redirect your attention elsewhere. You pause and hum at the sight of him, bringing your hands down to touch his cock. Dia covers his face with his hands, peaking at you through his fingers. You can't see it, but you can tell he's smiling.

"Let's see if we can keep you feeling good, huh baby?" Dia whimpers and nods again, watching you with his shining golden eyes. You grope him through his sleep pants, feeling him up, rubbing the tip of his cock, and then moving down to fondle his balls. Dia moans, loud and wanton, and tries to jerk his hips up into your touch.

"Keep still," you murmur, but the sentiment is half-hearted at best. You pull him out of his pants, and rub your thumb over his tip. He arches his back, his hands falling from his face to tangle themselves in the sheets. You take your hand off him to spit in your hand, then use it as a makeshift lube as you begin to stroke Diavolo's cock.

"Oh," he gasps, his eyes fluttering shut as he basks in the attention. You start pretty slow, letting him sink into the pleasure, and because starting slow makes Dia squirm; he wants more but won't ask for it— yet.

Eventually, you give his tip attention as well, pulling his foreskin back so you can rub the pad of your slick thumb against his slick cockhead. Dia sucks in a sharp breath as you do so, his eyes snapping open to stare at you.

"Please," he begs, and because it's not specific enough, you dig your nail into his cock. Dia keens— high and needy— his hips jerking violently under you. "Please, I want to get ah-off please," he tries again, his voice cracking. You oblige now that he's used his words.

Without another word, you begin stroking him off at a faster pace. "Oh, oh," Dia moans, melting into the bed, "please, can I cum, can I please?"

"Yeah darling, whenever you need it, you can cum for me," he whines at your words, and it's not much longer until he's jerking his hips and staining his shirt with his cum. He lets out a gasping moan, turning his head and pressing his face into the pillow as you stroke him through it.

"Hurts," he keens once he's done riding out his orgasm. You smile, and while you slow down your pace, you don't let go of him.

"You can give me another, can't you?" you ask sweetly. Dia sniffles, but bites his lip as he grins and nods his head yes.

[justjasper]

i love your E rated/smut writing. do you have any tips for writing smut?

most of these are about reality/modern-based sex writing rather than fantasy stuff where all the bets can be off!

there is literally no god word to use for balls/testicles, it's fine

USE CHARACTER NAMES. no "younger/older" woman, "darker/paler" man, just use their names especially during a sex scene

do learn some basic anatomy, please look up where the prostate is, where the g-spot is

but fanfic sex doesn't need to be instructional, you are not teaching people how to have sex. it very much shows when you write like this

fanfic is also not consent 101. it's fine to just let your reader assume they're 100% into what they're doing, and i think "unnegotiated kink" should be reserved for scenarios where the kink is spur of the moment, not just "involves kink but no explicit discussion of it" (unless they're not meant to be, which one assumes would be made clear in tags or descriptions!!)

that said, writing about discussing consent can be really fun, doesn't mean you can never do it. you just have to vibe out whether it's adding to the fic or not

talking really helps break up sex scenes, so write at least one character who's chatty lol

plan out your sex scene so you don't get stuck with what's happening next. remember you can go back to it to flesh it out/work on the pacing. honestly most of my sex scenes start on the page as a list that goes: LICK LICK CIRCLE CHAT SUCK SUCK STROKE LICK SUCK GAG SUCK TALK BIG CUM

speaking of going back to pacing, literally invoking time can help make a sex scene seem longer without saying "they fucked for seven and a half minutes". "a long moment later" "by the time X, the sun had begun to rise/fall", "long into the night"

lube is preferable but optional, even for butt stuff. sex without lube doesn't mean it's painful or dangerous, especially for experienced butt stuff doers.

spit as lube is not a cardinal sin and is miles better than things that are actually dangerous (engine oil? things w sugar like honey? baby dont give your chars a yeast infection)

olive oil is fine but it's messy and it doesn't play w condoms, but fine if you're going historical

speaking of which, from my experience people in established relationships forego condoms way quick. and in general people forget to use them all the time. again, this isn't Safe Sex 101, it's fanfic.

but on the flip side, its sexy/funny when characters have lube and condoms to hand. there is no funnier environmental storytelling than there being a bottle of water based lube in the kitchen cupboard with the peanut butter.

simultanious orgasms are a pain to time and sure they're romantic but there's other fun climax dynamics. maybe one character feels duty/honour bound to always make sure their partner comes first

come/cum? it doesn't matter, just keep it consistant per fic

similar, be consistant with your body part names, even if you use a few. e.g. you use "cunt" in narration, but character A uses "pussy", keep that consistant.

you can still euphamise genitals without it sounding like you're afraid of them - sometimes six instances of "cock" in a row doesn't flow, that's when you should be utilising your "hardness" and "shaft" and "length"

the brain is a sex organ, and all the senses are engaged during sex. you can bulk out yor sex scenes and give great insight into the character experiences by describing what they're experiences with non-touch senses (or the lack of them, e.g. when blindfolds are in the mix)

even in pwp works, you're saying something about the characters who are fucking. you can give context and inferred complexity without plot. are they familiar with each other's bodies? is this new? are they confident, or nervous.

write for you! if you are a person who experiences sexual response to erotic fiction, then a good measure of your own work is if it makes you horny to write/re-read it. there's absolutely no shame about being aroused during the process. there's no harm in taking a wank break.

[jessaerys]

don't question my methodology i'm still high but -- did a quick search for smut writing advice (you know, in a keep the textbook open during an exam kind of way) expecting a handy vocabulary list and like structural tips regarding flow and how to avoid falling into mechanical cliches

and what i got instead was people explaining how lube and hygiene and other 101s work with the rock solid confidence of someone who has learned everything they know about anal sex from fanfiction and how-to guides online. i don't know what i expected honestly this one is on me

[unusannusbracket]

I’ve had some curious people, so here’s the seed. (Warning that all 366 videos are in a list here, so it’s very long)

Cooking with Sex Toys

Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN

Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video

Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room

Hunting HeeHoo

Pee Sauna

Goodbye.

Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral

Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness

Preserving Ourselves in Wax

DIY Geriatric Simulator

DIY Bungee Jump (please don't try this)

2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition

Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked on Phonics

Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don't Watch This Video)

Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot For an Elegant Beast

The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover

Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes

Creating Mark FISHbach

Goat Yoga

Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death

Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing

We Made Nude Paintings of Each Other

Being Brutally Honest with Each Other

2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa

The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest

Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond

Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming

Pee Soda

We Got Pepper Sprayed

The Truth of Unus Annus

Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet

Hiding Our Sins from Amy's Holy Peepers

The Wubble

Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime

W​​​​​e Had To Drink Each Other's Pee

We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away

Santa's Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog)

Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna into a Portable Hell

Literally Eating Fire

All Our Video Ideas That Never Happened

Mark Reviews The Impossible Burger But There's a Looming Sense of Impending Doom

2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test

Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game

The Unus Annus Last Supper

We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR)

Fixing Mark's Hole with Ramen but Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God

The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couple’s Trend

Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There's a Bear 15 Feet Away

We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator

We Will Churn Thy Butter

Mark Breaks His Nose On An Aerial Hoop

Beating Inanimate Objects to Death

Mark's Outdoor Escape Room

Donating Toys to Charity w/ JackSepticEye

Baby Hands Operation

What in the Hell is a Pink Trombone?

Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band

Drawing on Each Other's Backs in Total Darkness

Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs

Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank

We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition

A Serious Conversation Under the Stars

Drawing Memes from Memory

1 Man 100 Accents

How to Start a Fire (except don't...)

DIY Chiropractor

Mark Needs To Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him

We Pierced Each Other’s Ears

Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping

Unus Annus

Mark Punishes Ethan

We Force James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course

The Sensory Overload Tank

Mark and Ethan Are Now Fathers

We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games

We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay

Turning Mark Into an E-Boy

Helium Therapy

Everything's Legal If You're Dead

How to Safely Bury Your Friend

Who’s Cutting Onions In Here???

Recreating the Miracle of Childbirth

We Play the Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other

The Beginning of The End

We Attempted to Create THICC Water

DIY Boob

2 Idiots Get Crushed by 18-Foot Giant Snakes

Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight

The Painful World of Aerial Silks

You Blink You Lose

Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls

We Looked at Unus Annus Memes

Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise...)

Unregulated Axe Throwing

10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn't Know How to Spend Money Responsibly

The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake

Taped and Afraid

We Played Strip Poker

REAL Ghost Hunting at an Abandoned Zoo

This Video is Completely Unedited

Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does it Take to Kill a Man?

Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics

Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes

Pressure Washing Our Sins Away

The Ultimate Trolley Problem

Recreating Mark's Childhood

2 Men in a Trench Coat Teach You how to Save Moneyat the Movies

Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle

What Was the Most Painful Thing We've Ever Endured?

Drinking Real THICC Water... How Bad Does It Taste?

This is What Being Tased Feels Like

Only UNUS-es May Watch This Video

We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover our Darkest Sins

Transforming Mark into the 8th Wonder of the World

This Is The Most Dangerous Children's Toy Ever Made

Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests

Ethan Destroys Mark's Van with a Bat

BEYBLADE NUTBALL

We Turned our Bodies into Art

Drunk College Party Simulator

Doing Each Other's Makeup in the Dark

The Candy Bra Challenge

A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night

Too Many Pickles

Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature

2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test

We Took the Polar Plunge

Brick Soccer

Only ANNUS-es May Watch This Video

Blood Bath

Ethan Kidnapped Mark

How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree

Literally Finding a Needle in a Haystack

Only Watch from 2:15 to 6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO

Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More!

Building IKEA's Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instructions is Impossible

How Many Slaps Does It Take to Cook a Chicken?

Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank

Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim

We Eat Bugs

Accepting the Truth

The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest

Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner's Butler for a Day

7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell

Help Us Break a YouTube World Record

Becoming One with the Horse

Mark and Ethan Go on a "Drum Date"

Bobbing For Apples But the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer

Who Can Teach Their Dogs a Trick the Fastest?

Mark Knows What Ethan Did...

We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React To It

Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body

Tearing a Phone Book in Half with Our Huge Manly Muscles

How to Escape from a Hostage Situation

Being Attacked by a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog

Puberty Simulator

Breaking Glass With Our Screams

Dunking Oreos In Literally Anything But Milk

Hydro Dipping A Baby

Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions

Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

The Bad Kind of Cupping

Ethan Explores Mark's Haunted Basement

Would Chica Save Us From Drowning?

Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus?

Shooting Archery ON A HORSE

This is For FUN and NOT a Fetish

Mark Teaches Ethan Korean

Building the World's First IKEA Boat

Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot

Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other but it's Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha

Momiplier Teaches Self-Defense

The 1st Annual Unus Annus Roast

Mark and Ethan Share a Drink

The Barrel - Official Music Video

Popping Popcorn with a High-Powered Laser

Is Mark a Masochist?

We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes

We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water

We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded

The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown

Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas

Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On

3 Big Boys Attempt the King's Royal Fitness Test

Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition

We Attempt Pottery Without Amy's Help

Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow

Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery

Ultimate Horseshoes

This Video Went Completely Out of Control

Cryptid Olympics

Hot Dog'd to Death

Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength

Becoming a Master of Mime

Harnessing Our Dogs' Unlimited Energy

We Explore the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes

Forcibly Turning Mark Into Santa Claus Against His Will

Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass

The Good Kind of Cupping

Blowing Our Souls Into Some Hot Glass

Who Can Make Themselves Taller?

DIY Bed of Nails : OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T EVER TRY THIS

Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost

The Great Meat Mistake

Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin

DIY Wine

We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate

Bobbing For Literally Anything But Apples

Acupuncture Is NOT Painful

Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage

We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves

Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown

10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw on Planet Earth

Dummy THICC for Dummies | A Tale of 2 Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond

We Attempt to Make Holy Water

Mark Steals Ethan’s Face

DIY Teeth

Our Perfect (and last) Valentine's Day

Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time

The Egg Smashing Game

Ethan Redefines Male Beauty

Learning to Breathe Underwater

The Great Ice Cream Cake Race

Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our Youtube Famous Dogs

We Finally Drank Our DIY Win

2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out With Soap

Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond)

Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses

Bad Bad Beans

We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze our Darkest Dreams

This is Goodbye

God's Fitness Test

Edible Slime was a Mistake.

DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

You Breathe You Die

Long Hair, Do We Dare?

Mark and Ethan Desperately Try and Name a Single State in the USA

The Most Dangerous Shave

Two Male Men Judge Female Women on Their Beauty

5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard

How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend

Learn to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds

Playing Cards: The World's Deadliest Weapon

DIY Cheese

We Found Websites That the World Forgot About

Play-Doh Thanksgiving

Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible

2 Men 200 Accents

1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us

Desperately Trying Not To Touch Our Faces

Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat

Edward Pumpkin Hands

Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition

The Unus Annus Space Program

Having an Adventure In VR Chat Because We Can't Go Outside

Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis

Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something

Ethan Turns Mark into a Werewolf

Looking at Long Lost Memes

The Human Mop

An Extremely Sour, Not-At-All Sour Meal

Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt

Making Soda With Literally Anything But Soda

Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens

Consuming the World's Hottest Chip

Learning How to Lockpick (FBI Please Don't Watch)

We Made Fanart for Each Other

There's Something Horribly Wrong with This Picture...

Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death

Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020

Recreating Childhood Photos

Fighting Fish to the Death in the Deep Blue Sea

Wikifeet: A Tale of 2 Tootsies

We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins

The Worst Kind of Cupping

The End of Unus Annus is Almost Here...

Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death

Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea

Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors

We Have the Best Bellies on Youtube

We Ate Dog Treats So You Don't Have To

Becoming the World’s Greatest DJ's

Our Fans Try to Scare Us with Their Homemade Creepypasta

DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080

You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel... But Only One Could Win

The Deep End of Omegle: Risky Boogaloo

The 1000 High Five Challenge

What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube?

Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado

The Creepiest Videos on Youtube

DIY Minesweeper

This Is Hiding On Your Body RIGHT NOW.

Running Internet Drama through Google Translate

Will We Break the Boards... Or Will They Break Us?

Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge

This Video Will Never Make Sense

Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast

Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare For Our Inevitable Demise

Mark's 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless

Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat)

Learning to Use The Force

Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger

The Scariest True Stories on the Internet

Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race

Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button

Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse

The Chubby Gummy Challenge

Unus Annus ASMR

Phasmophobia in Real Life

Mark and Ethan Shave Chica

Does This Magnet Skincare Routine Really Work?

Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight

We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us

Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories

How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man?

An A.I. Predicts How We're Going to Die

Emotional Pain vs Physical Pain... Which is Worse?

We Smell Every Smell

Tasting Weird Food Combos : Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce?

Bleachus Annus

Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds?

Ethan's Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon

Can Plants Feel Pain?

We Have The BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise

We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler

Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse?

2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition

We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could

Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test

Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views

What Happens When a Youtube Channel Dies?

Don't Go in the Ocean... Ever.

Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet

Pumpkin Taste Tier List

The Unus Annus Confessional Booth

2 Boys 2 Poops

How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock?

We Took an IQ Test

We’re Better Than Dogs

Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box

How Big Can a Nuke Get?

There's Still Hope...

What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship?

Where in the World is Unus Annus?

Mark is Guilty. Ethan has the Proof.

How Tall Can A Human Get?: An Impartial Review by 2 Average Height Men

Mark and Ethan Hunt The World's Most Wanted Criminals

Bored? Press This Button.

The Illuminati... Do They Really Exist?

Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End The World As We Know It

Ethan Traps Mark's Soul in the Palm of his Hand

5 Weird Apps Predicted Our Death

Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among us?

An A.I. Generates Our Worst Nightmare

Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend

This is How We'll Die...

Like It or Not... This is What The New Human Looks Like

Pumpkin Spice “Challenge”

Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life

Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity as we Know It?

Hacking into the Very Fabric of the Universe

Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity From Benjamin Franklin

Granting Access into Heaven's Sweet Gates

We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of our Wildy Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mysteries

Are We Already Dead?

[nerdieforpedro]

Wednesday WIP

It's hump day people! So that means it's time to find out what everyone is working on! 😎 As for your girl Nerdie, I have a few things in the works: two Dieter fics, two Marcus Pike fics, and Dave/Santi.

@iamasaddie Popped out a dark Valentine's Day prompt and past Nerdie said sure! Thus we're going to have a different version of Marcus Pike. (Not “Daddy” I made a slight edit to the prompt). He might be a bit manipulative, but it's for your benefit. Not odd at all. It's still in bullet points and some of them may change I gave @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin a preview so have to ask her if it makes any sense. 😄 (The above gif is how I picture this Marcus. Like he looks so sweet, but sir, SIR! But also we're okay with it, maybe.)

@magpiepills gave me an excellent idea for meeting Marcus Pike at a motel based off a Tag game we did a week or two ago. I've thought of three parts for the thing. I just gotta write it. That will be the Marcus fluff we know and love. 💕

@angelofsmalldeath-codeine Sweetly asked if there was an update on my chapter Dieter series "Weddings 101 with Dieter." I am working on chapter 4, I just have to work out the details. The devil is there and he is mocking me. 😈 The Horny Delegation's High Chancellor has high expectations. Maybe I should have written it a little worse. 🤗

Dave/Santi have their bullet points mostly. I did start on them. Maybe February @for-a-longlongtime It needs a lot more meat, lube, cargo pants and zip ties. There may be a preview of that next week along with some Santiago smut. The Santi x reader smut will be @rhoorl (she started it with her ask) and @legendary-pink-dot fault who sent me one journalist's investigative piece on Oscar's Dune beard. 🤣 I also blame Pinterest. You search “Oscar Isaac beard” one time. Sheesh. 😒

I finished my addition to the PMAMC 2024 challenge organized by the talented @wannab-urs and, well, it's done and out there. 👀 Read the other ones and come back to mine, if you think about it. This week is everyone is posting so there will be a masterlist up later with everyone who participated.

I'll end with a small preview of my Dieter Brovo one-shot:

God he needs to feel you, the pocket pussy he has is alright but he needs your full weight on him. You mewling at him, giving him silent direction as he tries to make you vocalize more. Dieter’s aware he’s often loud enough for the both of you and he finds that hearing the few moans that you will give him, fill him with a sense of accomplishment. He remembered that you’d told him that it was difficult to climax sometimes and actually you’ve reached your peak so much more often with him than other partners, because he cared to find out where your spots are, what makes you feel good. Your hushed noises weren’t an indication that he wasn’t doing well, you just weren't used to making sounds during sex. Since the two of you met at a club where you had misplaced your shoes and Dieter let you borrow his crocs, you’d been seeing each other when you could. It was one of the few stable relationships Dieter had outside of his business team.

So that’s all I have this week. 🤗 See you next week!

No pressure tags: @fhatbhabie @trulybetty @morallyinept @maggiemayhemnj @pedroshotwifey @megamindsecretlair @i-own-loki @secretelephanttattoo @goodwithcheese @ladybess-a03 @laurfilijames @musings-of-a-rose @undercoverpena @avastrasposts @chronically-ghosted @gwendibleywrites

[f1-disaster-bi]

Charlando anon here again. For the 101 romantic/spicy prompts 4 and 31 with Charlando <3 👀

4. Kissing inner thighs & 31. First time

"Are you sure this is okay?" Charles asked softly as he cupped Lando's cheek in his hand. His eyes were searching, watching every little expression that crossed Lando's flushed face. He didn't want to mess this up. He didn't want Lando to go further than he was ready for because he knew this was new to him. Lando might not be a virgin, but he was new to dating to men and hadn't gone further than a few handjobs before he and Charles had met. The last thing that Charles wanted was to fuck this up and hurt Lando somehow. "Charles, I'm ready, yeah?", Lando smiled and kissed him softly, "I've been ready for a while, and we both know the second I say anything, you'll stop" Charles nodded and took a second to let those words sink in before he kissed Lando again. Lando's nails scratched down his back softly. His leg came up to pull them cloer, grinding them together as if to remind Charles what they were planning on doing and it made Lando gasp softly into their kiss. "Charles...", Lando whimpered softly, and Charles got the hint. He gave Lando one last kiss before moving to kiss and bite at his neck. He didn't care if he left marks, in fact he wanted to. He wanted Lando to look in the mirror in the morning and remember everything. Another part of him wanted to leave marks so anyone that saw them would know that Lando was taken. Charles slowly made his way down Lando body. His mouth and hands drawing sounds out of the other until he was squirming and gasping, pushing up against any part of Charles that he could to get even the tiniest bit of relief. It made Charles chuckle against his hip as he moved his hands to hold Lando still, not touching him where Lando desperately wanted to be touched. "Tease", Lando panted out, an arm thrown over his eyes and flush spreading down his chest. "Only for you, baby", Charles nipped at the jut of his hipbone before he pulled back a little. He gave himself room to wrap his hands around Lando's thighs,spreading them a bit further so he couled admire him for a second before he reached for the lube. Lando had moved his arm from his eyes and was now watching him. There was nothing but trust and want in his eyes as Charles shifted until he was in the position he wanted, where he could watch as he carefully opened Lando up to make sure everything was okay. "I love you", Charles muttered, pressing soft kisses against the inside of Lando's thighs as the other let out a soft laugh. "I love you too but if you don't get on with it and fuck me, I'll do it mysef"

[heresathreebee]

Kurt Kunkle | Spree (2020) || Object Insertion // Phone Sex

Camboy AU/ Kurt Does OnlyFans Not Mass Murder AU; 2.6k words; NO BETA/ SELF-EDITED, Swearing, Established Female Dom(me)/ Male Sub Relationship, Mistress/Baby (Boy), Face Reveal For Views Plot, Awful Livechat Messages, Voyeurism Kink (especially strong for Kurt), Mommy kink, Degradation and Praise Kink, Male Mastubation and Edging, Anal Object Insertion (PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS IT IS DANGEROUS, ONLY USE CLEAN SEX-SAFE TOYS MADE FROM MATERIALS LIKE GLASS OR MEDICAL GRADE SILICONE, BE SAFE), Surprise Ending *wink, wink*

Previous | Masterlist | Next: Steve Harrington Orgasm Denial

Kurt is 101% sure that you planned this. 

It had taken him months of begging on his knees to get you to agree to a face reveal and finally let him introduce you to his subscribers, only for you to change your mind the day before– and after he tweeted the announcement, no less. 

You claimed (with an impish grin) that the privilege had been revoked due to the Excited Puppy incident. 

It wasn't fair! How was he supposed to just sit still and wait for your permission to come? Your pussy was too warm, too wet around his cock to not grind into. You have 10 times the subscribers he has even as his channel steadily grows and during your stream (where his face is hidden just off camera), there were so many people watching and commenting about how lucky he was to be with you. It just went to his head! 

And before he knew it, he was bucking and growling and spent, much to your amusement. 

And now he was going to do a late night, private stream without his linch pin. Total clickbait. The chat was going to be vicious tonight. 

'Don't worry baby, I won't leave you hanging ;),' you texted him back. 

After the initial stream greeting, Kurt acts a little extra goofy to mask his disappointment. Presenting the lube he's using like it's a new lipstick line in a makeup tutorial, turning on a self-made trap mix and dancing as he strips out of his clothes, continuing to dance fully naked and asking the chat how many times they think he's going to come tonight. Chat is busy with other things though… 

Username29394954o: Do you think he hired an actual pornstar for this stunt? 

Dickandballs69: I was promised TITS WHERE ARE MY TITTIES KURT

CummunistKumikaze: WHERE'S YOUR "GIRLFRIEND" KURT?! Fucking beta male!

Kurt sat heavily in his gaming chair and sighed, leaning forward on his knees like a gym teacher about to deliver some bad news. "Hey guys, glad you could be here tonight. Now, I know that I promised you'd finally get to see my girlfriend tonight, but uhm… something came up." 

His cheeks flamed red when your alternate domme handle and donation appeared. The text to speech read aloud: 

TheDirtyKirtie : Tell them what you did, you bad boy. 

Kurt swallowed hard and ignored the rush of comments calling him slurs and fake and loser. "I, uh, I was bad. I came without your permission– her permission! I didn't think she would… well I was hoping she would let it slide this time…" 

Another message and donation popped to make the text speech activate: 

TheDirtyKirtie : You can earn it back, if you can be a good boy and do exactly what I tell you. 

At that, Kurt straightened up immediately. Did you mean it? Were you giving him a second chance?! 

It's not like he was bad at subbing, he loved it when you were in control (you would say he was born to it). But… he did have a habit of misbehaving on purpose to get you to punish him– both on and off camera. Usually they came with a few warnings, tugging on his hair or making him pause until he was shaking with the effort (once you told him he couldn't continue until he went completely soft first and that just didn't happen). 

TheDirtyKirtie : Are you up for it, sweet thing?

Kurt nodded vigorously. He had to– for his stream. He bit his lip and waited for your first instruction. Chat was going wild, as per usual. 

TheDirtyKirtie : Let me see those hands, baby. Are you lubed up? 

Kurt shook his head. "No, mistress." 

TheDirtyKirtie : Good. Start slow for me, just your fingers on your shaft like always. 

Kurt hates this command. You do it on purpose to test his will power, and this one always leaves him frustrated and understimulated. He knows what you want to see and carefully avoids spreading around the stream of precum that has already begun to ooze out of his tip. He's so focused on doing it right that he doesn't see the chat. 

Mitochond-Rhianna: We can't see

WaxBabe420: Kurt, pull the camera down 

COCKGobbleGobbleGobbler: DUDE WE CAN'T SEE YOUR DICK. MISTRESS, PUNISH HIIIIMMMM

Some of his new subscribers have clearly crossed over from your channel. They sometimes have flowery or feminine usernames but are always a little kinder with their words– and are hoping to see more content of you.

There is, naturally, a rumor about you two.

Fueled by a collective confusion as to why such a popular personality as you regularly started recommending his cringy sfw channel @ kurtsworld96, and by extension his better received nsfw channel @ squirtsworld69, about a year ago. There was recorded footage of you two together during a few collaborations, but publically, you both denied being anything more than friends. 

The dots were easy to connect, but people weren’t quite ready to connect them (yet). How could two seemingly very different content creators have private nsfw channels with the same gimmick– opposite domme/sub kink and unknown partners(?). You and Kurt teased and teased and teased, but you were very careful not to give away the game too easily. Precise camera angle work or costumes kept your sub a mystery. Meanwhile on Kurt’s streams, you kept yourself just behind the lens of his camera (and once or twice gloved for a POV stream). 

And still you dangled the mystery above viewers' heads. Could an incel like Kurt really pull a baddie like you?! Even your mutual friend Bobby didn’t believe it and he was literally in on it and giving you two advice! Two nights after the aforementioned Excited Puppy incident, Bobby had dropped a video link in your influencer group chat titled "DommeMommy is dating Kurtworld96 AND I HAVE PROOF!" plus a laughing face emoji and a contemplation emoji. 

The two of you had watched it together and it included a side-by-side play of an older clip of Kurt masturbating (in accordance with your instructions from the chat) and one from your last stream– the sounds he makes when he comes almost identical in their tenor and whine. The comments on the video were 90% insults tearing the uploader apart and they got ratioed into the ground. Funny that, since they were actually correct. But nobody would believe a girl like you would fuck a 'loser' like Kurt (an opinion which you often have to console Kurt's pride about). 

TheDirtyKirtie : You're doing so well, baby. Let me see what you've done <3

Kurt takes a breath and stops the torturous and weak movement of his hand to finally realize nobody could see him. He stands up to show the stream his cock, standing proud and hard and flushing bright red. 

TheonGreyjoyFucks: Fuck, that's so hot

12TittiesTrollin: DUDE IS LITERALLY LEAKING HOLY FUCK

BullyMaguire02: GOTDAMN he needs to get laid fr nobody who gets pussy gets hard doing THAT

Everything rolls off his back when you reply: oh my sweet baby, you look so beautiful like that. It makes him blush harder and whimper pathetically. He just knows you are probably clenching your thighs right now, wherever you are. 

It's unusual for Kurt to go so long without talking– though he doesn't realize he was indeed making noises. As he adjusts his camera for a better angle, he talks to the chat and waits for your next command. 

"She's real, guys, really real, I promise. Super hot too, and you would know that if she was here." 

n00bsluvb00bs: Boooo your so fckn FAKE BRO

xXcodforlifeXx: I WOULD SAY ITS PROBS JUST HIS FRIEND BUT HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE FRIENDS FOR THAT Lolololol

Kurt just knows you are seething with rage about the asshole comments. You had talked to him about getting mods but Kurt brushed it off– he couldn't afford to guard his chat like you could. He needed them (at least he thought he needed them). Mean comments and hate watching was still viewer engagement which he could never seem to get enough of… 

"What now, mistress?," Kurt pursed his lips and hoped you wouldn't make him wait. 

TheDirtyKirtie : Do you have something *fun* you can sit on? ;) 

“Uhh…” 

On camera, Kurt whips his head around left and right. He can’t remember if you left anything the last time you came over but he doubts he would find it anyways. You were always bugging him about being safe with shoving things inside him that weren’t made specifically for that purpose…

Kurt disappears from his desk and reenters frame with record speed. “Will this work, mistress?” 

Kurt waves a hairbrush that you forgot to take home with you. He flips it in his hand to show off the rounded, smooth handle and hopes you will say yes. Chat zooms by and the only thing he reads are a few viewers telling him to use the fat end (literally no way). 

TheDirtyKirtie : You know what that’s fine. Use a condom baby, and pick up the phone. I’m going to call you in a second ;)

Kurt’s head snaps up as soon as he hears the last part (and he snaps the condom while he is distracted, immediately going for another from his desk drawer). He smiles brightly. Hearing your voice was better than nothing at all. He finishes sheathing the brush handle just as his gummy bear ringtone goes off. 

He almost drops everything as he rushes to answer it and puts you on speaker phone. “Hi, mommy!”

Your mirthful voice makes him loopy and lovestruck all at once. “Hi, baby. Are you having fun yet?” 

Kurt nods his head though he’s not sure if you’re able to see the live feed right now. “Y-yes mistress. I-I really wish you were here with me, though… are you… are you driving?” 

Was he crazy, or did he hear a car honking? Chat seemed to confirm his suspicions as well. 

“I’m riding bitch in a Spree actually,” you answered. “The driver’s deaf… I think.” 

WaxBabe420: AM I CRAZY OR DOES SHE SOUND LIKE DommeMommy ??

12TittiesTrollin: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID ***** THERS NO FING WAY

Mitochond-Rhianna: YES IT IS YES IT IS FUCK YOU  @12TittiesTrollin IT’S TOTALLY HER @WaxBabe420

COCKGobbleGobbleGobbler: @TheDirtyKirtie are you or arent you my @DommeMommy PLS I NEED TO KNOW <3 <3

N00bsluvb00bs: show us your boooobs whor

CummunistKumikaze: pics or it didnt happen lolol

Kurt’s attention snapped back to the sound of your voice. “I think you know what you’re supposed to do with that, don’t you, baby boy?” 

Kurt licks his dry lips and settles the phone on the desk (your contact is too blurry to read from the resolution of the video and chat is furious about it). Propping his feet up on the desk, he adjusts his chair and spreads his legs, face turning red as he realizes just how exposed he is to (checking the current viewer count and…) 52,497 pairs of eyes, all waiting for him to obey your gentle commands. He presses the end of the handle to his fluttering hole and pushes in. 

“Mmm–” Kurt hums loudly and gasps, his knuckles turned white as he penetrates himself and takes the whole brush handle in one smooth motion. He hoped you knew that the reason he took it all so easy was a result of the pegging you gave him the night before– just the two of you, no streamers watching. “Fuck me… mommy…” 

Kurt whines so readily for you, and in return he can hear your breathless praise. “Very, very good baby. Fuck, that’s so hot.” 

Nothing else in the world mattered except your words. Everything else fell away as Kurt started thrusting the handle inside himself. This was for you– just you. His cock bobs and twitches between his spread legs and begs for your attention. Eyes drifting closed, Kurt hears the sound of donations, text-to-speech messages, and your polluted car audio as he fucks himself. 

xXcodforlifeXx: $1.00 ***

BullyMaguire02: $15.00 shouldve fckin listened to her youd be deep in youre FAKE GIRLFRIENDS cunt rn

Mitochond-Rhianna: $75.00 GOD I LUV THE WAY HE CALLS HER MOMMY, SO CUTE

TheonFreyjoyFucks: $5.00 thats fuckin NOTHING kurt USE YOUR FIST AND FUCK YOURSELF ALREADY

“Are you getting close, baby?” Kurt heard you get out of the car and imagined you adjusting your shirt collar. He nods – too heady to respond verbally– but you must be watching the stream because you instantly reply. “Don’t come yet, baby, just a little longer.” 

Kurt instantly whines and slows down. Please don’t make me finish hands free, please please please. Tears gather in the corner of his eyes and start to spill as he hears you panting. Were you touching yourself or running? 

Suddenly someone is knocking VERY LOUDLY on his bedroom door. Kurt screams and nearly falls out of his chair. His parents weren’t supposed to be home?! Bobby was already blocked from watching but he did know when the stream aired… did Kurt get doxxed?! The knock came again and that’s when Kurt noticed the echo from his phone… 

“Open the door, Kurt!” 

Were you… were you… 

…

You ended the phone call and exited the stream from your phone, fussing with your appearance and wishing you had not been delayed so long. Maybe you shouldn’t have lied to your boyfriend about your plans, but you were hoping this would make up for it. Maybe you scared him to death– what was taking so long to answer his door? 

You reach to try the handle again but the door is thrown open and you are snatched up into a bear hug. A very naked Kurt twirls around happily, making you dizzy and anxious about toppling to the floor. But then he dropped you back on your feet and dragged you into a bruising, passionate kiss. There was no mistaking the wet trails that transferred from his flushed cheeks to yours. 

“You’re actually here,” he whispered as he let you breathe, only for a second before he dove in for another kiss. “Holy fucking shit, you’re actually here!” 

Guilt racks your brain and you attempt to crush him in your arms. “I know baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry…” 

But Kurt just shook his wild, greasy hair and held you tighter. “Nothing else fucking matters now, babe, because you are actually here!” 

Kurt is pleased as punch to see you, and you pull away to look him in the eye and fight to reclaim your dominant character. “I’m happy to see you too, but I think we’ve still got a show to run, don’t we? I bet you’re ready to burst…” 

You both look down between your bodies in surprise. There’s white cum all over your shirt and his bare chest, his softening cock hanging limply at the apex of his thighs. So much for your plan then. 

“...uhm, ‘m sorry,” Kurt mumbles. 

“It’s okay, baby,” you tucked his hair back from his face to see his pretty eyes better. “I guess you really were happy to see me!” 

You pull Kurt forward by his hand and back into the stream, showing off the mess he made on you. You can see his proud, smug little face on the replay monitor and let him have it (he’s earned it now). You push him back in his chair and take your rightful place in his lap. 

“Mommy’s still a little excited from watching you play, Baby.” You tug the buttons on your top and catch Kurt’s attention, feeling him press his chest to your back and biting his bottom lip as he watches. “Does chat wanna take a poll on how baby’s gonna make me come?” 

Donations roll in hard and fast, the live scrolling by far too fast to read anything at all. You feel Kurt’s arms around your waist and his shy voice whispers near your ear. 

“Can I eat you out, mistress?” 

You look back at his pleading face over your shoulder. “I’ll put it at the top of the list!”

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This was very fun to write I was so worried I wouldnt be able to get it to work but I think it did. Kurt didn't need to kill he shouldve just done porn