#LOW AND ALONE IS NOW MARY POPPINS

[k01-f1shy]

LITTLE NIGHTMARES 3 IS COMING

AHHHHHHHH—

[byrdtrollsunoreversearchive]

Nightmare Blunt Rotation

What’s one thing you never expected to happen in February 2024? Is it an Ervmir Demork Drabble?

(hehe, a short little side thing I wrote)

It’s late into the day. You are playing an indie dating sim on your laptop in the front hall. It is the only place in your penthive apartment where there are reliably no other people or servants. Though the dark glow of security cameras reminds you are always being watched all the same. You like to stay up late in the day, when it’s quiet and most of the staff and your father’s ‘friends’ have long since gone home. You are completely bombing it on all these conversation options. You like to do no-mercy runs on kiss in the dark demon quadrant simulator and get all the bad endings. 

Suddenly, the doorbell rings. 

“Uh, sir?” You hear from behind the wood. 

“Hello?” You reply.

“Ervmir” The voice replies, and you recognize it as the buildings security guard. “Can you get your father?” 

“Depends why” You answer. 

“This woman is demanding to see him, I tried to get her to leave, but I think she’s lost her marbles-“ 

“OPEN UP HASCHA” insists a demanding, female voice who begins banging on the doorway. 

You curl up into a little ball on the couch. 

“You’re a really bad security guard!” You yell. “Who the fuck is that!” 

“She’s like eight feet tall! What was I supposed to-“ The guard argues. 

“Figure it out!” You squeak. 

“I demand to speak to Hascha” Orders the woman. 

“I’m going to tase you” the guard says to her. “If you don’t leave.” 

“Less warning-more tasing!” You order. 

There is a sound of a large thud, and a scream.

You back further into your corner, hoping the security guard has been triumphant in whatever struggle just occurred, but the universe would never be so kind. 

“Open the door” says the woman. “Hascha will recognize me” 

“Yeah well” you stutter. “If you hurt the security guard! He’ll be angry!” 

“Go to bed Erv,” Says a male voice. “Two in the damn morning.” 

You jump as your father enters the room from behind. Against all logic, he walks over and opens the door. 

A giant, horrific beast of a woman dressed like Mary Poppins straightens her back, covered in blood. 

Hascha glances at the bottle of wine in his hands, and then back at her. 

“Haha” he says. “I wondered if Eponin and all those bitches were crazy.” He says. “Are you real?” He says, waving a hand in front of her. 

“Im real” she says. “I'm standing right in front of you” she says, sidestepping your father into the hive, much to your dismay. 

“Verula, did you fall from heaven because I thought you dropped dead 50 sweeps ago” Hascha jokes. 

“Ha ha. You’re drunk” she says. 

“I must be. Did you kill my security guard?” They stutter. 

“My kismesis was murdered right in front of me” Verula replies. 

“Right” your father says, wincing, scratching the back of his neck. “Bummer. That is so rough Buddy.”

“Do you still have that cask I gave you 60 sweeps ago from that off world winery?” 

“Now you’re speaking my language. But also no, I already drank it.” Your father says, leaning on the wall. 

“Hascha!” You squeak. “Who the fuck is this! She killed our security guard!” 

“I’ll explain to you when you’re older. Go to bed, Erv.” 

“Why. It’s not like I’ve got shit to do tomorrow” you retort. “In case you forgot, you fired me” 

“Who is that?” Verula says, staring at you. 

“Oh this grub I adopted” Hascha replies. 

“Why?” Verula.

“I dunno. For fun. To make my life worse”

“Whatever” she dismisses. “Can I stay at your place for a couple nights.” 

“Of course,” he says, leading the woman upstairs. “Everyone’s trying to kill you by the way. They’ve all lost it.” 

“Wonderful” the jadeblood says, wiping blood off her face. 

And then you are in the front hall, alone. You sigh. It’s just you and the dead security guard. You try to ignore him for a moment, but you have not yet sunk so low morally that you can continue to play a dating sim over a fresh corpse. You take a deep breath, closing your laptop, and walking over to him. Shakily, you reach over and pull his id out of his vest, and go to call this guy's family. 

.

.

.

.

.

You are in the front hall again the next time you see her. You had to wait even longer for the hive to empty. Hascha and their mysterious undead fling had been having some kind of kismesis grief bender for the past week, and avoiding them at very nearly any time of night or day has become more difficult and frustrating. You are trying to finish a demon’s route in the game when you are once again interrupted. 

The two large trolls are walking into the kitchen, giggling with each other. 

“Maid!” Hascha calls. “We can cook something- Where is the- Maid!” He says, stumbling around. 

You sigh. This was not the first time he’s lost track of time and forgotten the servants go home at day. Hopefully Verula could be a voice of reason to him. You don’t want to have to tell him again. For some reason he always gets upset with you, like you were insane for reminding him the hive staff slept. 

“Maid!” Verula calls. “Maid!” Oh, wonderful. You think. They’re both on something. They’re both intoxicated. 

The calling out for the maid and wandering around the hive and resolving into giggling continues for some time, before you snap. 

“It’s two am! The staff went home!” You shout. 

“Motherfucker.” Hascha complains. “Go to bed, Erv!” He says, hypocritically. “Whatever. We’ll order online.”

“You can order food online? Like through a computer?” Verula says, like a woman who’s been dead for a long time.

“New age magic darling- the miracle of computer.” He says, taking a moment to try and doordash on his phone. The jadeblood plucks a joint from his hand. 

“Do the robots deliver it?” she jokes. 

“Nah, just app people” he dismisses. 

The woman coughs. 

“What?” 

“Like the people who work for the app” he says. “They get a message and deliver the food” he attempts to explain. The jadeblood takes another hit. 

“An army of people in the app?” She says, looking over his shoulder. 

“Yeah” he says. “Wait- give that back” he says, trying to grab the joint. 

“What?” She says. 

“I forget if I laced that one.” He says, taking back the joint.” 

She stares at her now empty hand. 

“You know Hascha” she says. “I didn’t think you’d still be like this.” 

“What?” He says. 

“You know. When you got kicked out of the fleet and put on planet arrest” The jadeblood says, giggling. “And you were like, I’m gonna spend every day partying like there is no tomorrow and doing hard drugs and shit. I thought you were just like. Going through something. And you’d come to your senses in like, a few sweeps at most. And get back on your feet. And weasel your way back into the fleet or something. And you’re still doing this shit? And you have a kid?” She says

“Hey” he says. “I own a billion dollar news company.” 

“You’re having a laced joint on a Tuesday night after we already drank the rest of that wine.” 

“One you just stole from me” They retort. “Glass hives, darling.”

“If I were a better person,” She says. “I’d be worried about you.” 

“If I were a better person” He replies. “I’d want you to worry about me.” 

“You’ve really been doing this?” Dentry says. “For 50 sweeps? Did 857 truly break your pan so badly?” She says, miming a knocking motion on their head. It’s unfitting the seriousness of the conversation, but he does not seem to mind. 

“Maybe not all the time,” He says. “Sober up for a couple weeks, or a month, your tolerance builds back up, you can put your life back together just enough that everything looks fine on the surface and money keeps flowing, and then go have fun again.”

“Sounds like you have it down to a science” She says. “What a miserable way to live.” 

“Oh it's a wonderful way to live” He argues. “Probably gonna die someday” They admit. “But it’s a wonderful view from halfway down.”

You turn up the music on your headphones, and try your best to return your focus to the game. But it’s too late- it's ruined. You are clicking through the options but your brain is barely processing them.

Eventually there is a loud thud from the other room.

“Fuck” you hear the jadeblood say. “That is- shit” the woman says, clearly having a sub optimal time. 

“What?” Hascha says. 

“I think it just hit me” she stumbles. “I think that was laced. That is- too much uppy. Not enough downy.” 

“Don’t freak out,” he retorts. 

“I’m not freaking out. I’ll be fine. Do we have more wine? Or normal weed? I’m just need something more downy” 

“Maybe-“ Hascha says, and then proceeds to look in all of the various places in the hive where they kept alcohol. This takes a long time. There are many places. 

“Fuck” he says. “I think that’s everything. Where’s- MAID!” 

“The maid went home!” You snap, again.

“Erv” he says. “Perfect” he says, stumbling into the room. 

“I need you to go to the winery on 5th and downing. The one we like. I need you to grab like 15 Domaine Leroy for the lounge and 10 Corton-Charlemagne for the cellar. Make sure it’s the one with 18%  alcohol from that place in Tuscany. Take the spaceship.” He says, dropping the keys in your hand. Fascinating, how he’s able to remember everything about the winery so specifically except a very key detail. 

“The winery” you say. “IS CLOSED! IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.” 

“Christ, well you don’t have to yell you little shit.” He retorts. 

“I don’t think you need more wine” You say. 

“Verula’s freaking out” They say, waving their hand dismissively. 

“Exactly why you should not give her more alcohol, genius” You say softly. 

“What was that?” He snaps. 

“Nothing” You mutter, losing your nerve. 

“Okay” Hascha says, turning and stumbling away. “Here’s what you do-“ he begins, and then walks out of earshot. Several minutes pass. You begin to silently hope he has gone and passed out someplace, muttering to himself, but right when you are going to go back to bed, he returns, holding a crowbar, which he then hands to you. 

“Okay Ervmir- here’s what you do. You’re going to break into the winery.” 

“What?” You say, hoping he is joking. 

“Step one: you break the winery window. Step two, you leave 5 hundred thousand Caegar bills on the desk in reimbursement. You take all of the liquor you can fit into the spaceship- actually I don’t trust you with the spaceship. You WALK to the winery but still carry as much alcohol as you can fit in the spaceship. And everyone wins” 

“I lose,” you say. “I get arrested.”

“No you don’t- you do it all very quietly.” Hascha reassures. 

“I can’t WALK to the winery!! It’s day! I’ll get burned!”

“Erv, Verula is really freaking out. And her freaking out is freaking me out. And we really do need new alcohol.” Hascha says, picking you up, and placing you in the hallway outside their penthouse apartment. 

“What! No! I’m not stealing you booze! What if a paparazzi sees me!!” You plead to deaf ears as he takes your keys, holding them out of your reach. 

“Listen” he says. “I’m going to lock you out. And you aren’t allowed back in. Unless you go to the winery. Okay? Thank you. Goodbye Erv.” He says, and he shuts the door in your face. Motherfucker. You are going to kill him for real someday. You bang on the apartment door, part in hopes he’ll change his mind and part in an expression of anger and frustration.

Before eventually, your breathing evens enough that you pull yourself to your feet, and storm off in search of an umbrella. 

.

.

.

.

.

Two whole hours later, you bang on the door again, with a cart full of wine from the winery. 

Hascha opens it. 

“Ervmir” he says. “What took you so long” 

“Ha Ha” you reply, voice layered with contempt. “It takes a while to break into a winery”

“It seems like an in and out kind of deal” he critiques. 

“You’re lucky I came back at all” you say.

Verula, the woman herself, peeks out of the hallway. 

“Thank you Ervmir.” 

“I hate you both and I hope you die. I poisoned every one of these” you say, shoving the cart into the room. 

“He’s joking” Hascha reassures the jadeblood, who true to his word, looks a little freaked out. 

“One of these days I won’t be!” You snap. “I’m gonna go call Esveri.” You say, your voice cracking. 

“You’re gonna call your boyfriend at, what is it? 4am?” 

“WHO ELSE WOULD I CALL?” You snap. “Hire me a twenty four seven therapist! You might as well pay someone to parent me if you’re going to try this hard!” You yell, storming off to your room. 

You shut the door, but linger by it. 

“He’s a good kid,” You hear Verula mutter softly to your father, popping the cork off a bottle.

“He hates me.” Hascha replies

“Yeah, well, no shit” the jadeblood answers.

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

ep 3: a gold bar in fort knox liveblog

spoilers abound 😧

okay first off relieved it's the same length as the previous episodes, we're not getting shorted even more time

mr benedict pacing <3 my lovey <3

why are they still making number two like not listen to him and stuff >:(

LMFAAOOOO A MOLD INFESTATION

I'M CRYING NEVER MIND I LOVE NUMBER TWO AGAIN. Mr. Benedict being like "infestation?!" :O

"to infect my brother with love" oh PLEASE that's so cheesy I adore him (but also fear.png because that probably will not work)

"i will go search for [a phone]" oh i'm SURE that's what you're going to do

"low blood sugar, my faltering marriage" PHFHDASJFDSHJF WHO IS HE MARRIED TO? IT'S HIS SECOND HUSBAND AFTER NICHOLAS RIGHT. RIGHT.

THE PIE TRUCK

PLEASE BE MOOCHO PLEASE BE MOOCHO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

okay i don't think it is......rip.......also curtain's cringe TV show.....

oh here we go with milligan and miss perumal cmon disney don't fuck it up! oh i love the way milligan says "advertisement" it's like in mary poppins

okay that was sweet but also the parallel with "i'm not scared" and "i'm not sad" hmmmmm not sure if i likey

reynie you're stupid don't give back the winnings i swear to god

okay i guess it worked.......whatever......

nicholas getting freaked out by the applause is so relatable, nd king

FUCK YOU CURTAIN NOT THE MANIPULATION. DONT YOU DARE UPSET MY BLORBO.

SO NICHOLAS IS ALONE THERE NOW????? NUMBER TWO LEFT WITHOUT HIM??? (although parallel to the book so i can't complain too much but GOD the thought of him alone with curtain)

NOOOOO FUCK FUCK FUCK CURTAIN GOT HIM

"he's a glass house held together by desperate optimism" OKAY wow constance that was a painful thing to say

uh oh jeffers

[aplacetosharemyfics]

Mary Poppins: Introducing Mrs. Banks

Jane Banks looked up from chasing down a crunchable leaf to find her nanny was no longer at her side. Michael was only a few steps away poking at a bush with a stick. Turning around a couple of times, she finally spotted Mary Poppins on the other side of the street.

“Michael, look.”

She pointed across the street where Mary Poppins held a middle-aged woman in a tight grip on her upper arm as she whispered in her ear. The woman had her back to them so they couldn’t see her expression, but Mary Poppins looked alarmingly serious. The other time they’d seen her look so serious was when their father had attempted to reprimand her.

“Is she threatening her?”

The two Banks children looked at each other, worried.

On the other side of the street, Grace listened attentively as Mary described Mrs. Banks to her.

“You think she needs help?”

Mary paused, pressing her lips together as she considered.

“She needs friends.”

In the weeks Mary had spent in the Banks household, she’d watched the erratic behaviour of Mrs. Banks. She’d return from a Suffragette protest brimming with suppressed energy, desperate to share her stories. And then her husband would return, and she’d shrink into a meek maid for George Banks.

Grace didn’t question her. She knew Mary’s predictions often came true, and this was the first time she’d been employed to help with a family Mary was actively caring for. She nodded.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Mary gave her arm a squeeze before crossing the street to join the Banks children. Grace watched her go before continuing along her way. She would need to plan this carefully. It was exciting.

-----------------

The best approach, she decided, was to find her after a protest. It was the only time Mrs. Banks appeared to leave the house. Attempting to catch her on the way to a protest would introduce a time limit, and could possibly lead to her being convinced to join in the demonstration. And it was best for her to maintain a low profile.

That day, the Suffragettes were protesting outside a politician’s house conveniently close to Grace’s house. She arrived halfway through the demonstration to find a large group of women gathered in front of the house, some waving large posters. A small crowd had gathered to watch on the other side of the street. Grace slipped among them, hovering near the back, and peering at the Suffragette. She’d dressed for the occasion, leaving her favourite red hat at home – the same hat that Mary had saved her over – in preference for a dull brown hat with a large brim. She didn’t want to stand out.

“Votes for women!”

If she was younger, Grace thought, and hadn’t Mary’s children to worry about, she might have found herself on the picket fence herself. However she realised, as she finally spotted Mrs. Banks amongst the protesters, the mother was a similar age to her.

“Alright, ladies. Time to move on.”

The policemen arrived with little fanfare, given the protest today had been peaceful, and the ladies quickly dispersed. Grace hung back, biting her lip, as she watched Mrs. Banks take her time talking with a fellow Suffragette. Which direction would she take? Would she go along? And now she began to worry about what to say. Mrs. Banks finished her conversation, waved goodbye, and headed alone towards the street leading to Grace’s house. Breathing a sigh of relief, Grace followed.

The streets were more crowded than usual, possibly due to the protest. Mrs. Banks had to take a corner particularly sharply, brushing roughly against the front of the house. Her dress snagged on the stupidly ornate railings. She gave it little thought and a strong tug, and it broke free. Grace, a few steps behind, grinned. A plan had formed in her head. For, you see, when Mrs. Banks pulled her dress, the sharp edge of the railing had torn a large gash in the skirt.

“Excuse me, Miss.”

Grace called out, jogging to catch up, touching Mrs. Banks on the shoulder. The woman whipped around, her hands held up in pseudo-boxing fists, prepared for an anti-suffragette attack. Grace quickly stepped back, holding up her empty hands.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

When Mrs. Banks didn’t relax, she continued.

“I just wanted to point out that you’ve ripped your dress.”

Mrs. Banks gasped, shifting her skirts to reveal the large tear, wincing at the damage to her favourite dress.

“What will George say,” she muttered.

For a second, she lifted the skirt to examine it closer. A couple of passing gentlemen slowed their pace as they passed, eyebrows raising in interest. Mrs. Banks quickly dropped the skirts, her cheeks pink.

“I’m a seamstress. I could fix it,” Grace offered. “My house is just nearby.”

“Would you?”

Grace pressed her lips together. She wanted to scold the woman for so readily accepting a stranger’s help – after all, she’d heard so many horror stories from the girls who arrived at her door. But, in this case, it made her plan a little easier. So, she bit her lip and motioned for Mrs. Banks to follow her.

“Thank you, so much. This is my favourite dress,” Mrs. Banks chattered away.

They fell into step together.

“My name is Winifred Banks.”

“Grace Hunt.”

They shook hands. Mrs. Banks worse soft leather gloves over dainty hands. Grace’s hands were strong and bare, showing off the scars and callouses from years of use. Even so, Mrs. Banks happily gripped the work-worn hands, no sign of the disgust Grace had seen many times from the noble ladies in town.

Mrs. Banks paused as Grace fiddled with the key, looking up at the massive house. Surely, she merely rented a room. Or was that house her husband’s? But, for the first time, a thought crossed her mind questioning whether she should trust this woman. This didn’t prevent her from following Grace inside, removing her hat to place it beside Grace’s on the coat hooks. Inside, the house was littered with belongings, shelves straining under books and toys, and photos lining the walls of people from all walks of life. In the living room, a large table was covered with scraps and rolls of material, one corner cleared where a state-of-the-art sewing machine was sat.

“Would you like a cup of tea?”

Mrs. Banks absently nodded, still enthralled with the room and its contents. Crossing to the table, she recognised the beginnings of a dress, covered with fine embroidery. George would never allow her to leave the living room in such a state. In fact, his picky nature meant that the house needed to be perfect in every aspect. She blinked. There was something about the thought that niggled at her brain. She looked around the room again, this time taking in the little details, before exclaiming as she finally realised what she’d been missing. There were no signs of a man in this house. The coat rack where she’d hung her hat held only Grace’s coat and hat, along with a worn red hat that no man would be seen dead in. The little table next to the armchairs had no ashtray for a man to put his pipe.

“Here we are.”

Grace bustled back in with a cup in her hands, sweeping aside some of the mess on the table so she could place the cup down. Mrs. Banks found herself wincing as the cup was placed down without a coaster.

“Now, sit down here, and I’ll see to your dress.”

Mrs. Banks obediently sat, perching on the edge of the offered chair, spreading out her skirts so the tear was accessible, and picked up her tea. It was cool enough to drink. She sipped. It was pleasant. As she lowered the cup from her mouth, she caught sight of Grace sitting down to sit on the floor in front of her. She quickly put her cup back down again. Her cheeks felt quite warm. A bobbin of thread and pincushion had been retrieved from the table and now lay on the floor beside Grace who was closely examining the tear. Mrs. Banks was not accustomed to having a woman in such a position. She wanted to suggest that she remove the dress for it to be fixed. But then she’d be sat there in her underwear, and that felt even more inappropriate. So, she had to sit there, blushing, as Grace started to work.

“Are you married?” she eventually blurted out.

Grace didn’t look up, but she did reply:

“Never found the right one. You?”

After a second of silence, Grace glanced up. Mrs. Bank blinked.

“Oh, yes. George Banks. A wonderful man. He’s a partner at the bank,” she replied quickly.

“And he’s okay with you being at those protests?”

Mrs. Banks bit her lip and grabbed her cup for another sip.

“He doesn’t know,” she admitted. “But I don’t believe he’d mind. As long as I’m there to greet him when he returns from work.”

She took another long sip of tea, trying to ignore how Grace was staring.

At that moment, the bell rang. Grace swore under her breath as she climbed to her feet.

“I’ll be back in a sec. Wait there.”

Before opening the door, she took a few deep breaths so she was no longer angry at the rude stranger who’d interrupted her talk with Mrs. Banks.

“Grace.”

It wasn’t a stranger. Rather, the tall man standing on her front step was one of Mary’s children, Doctor Brown. After his short stay in Grace’s house in his early twenties, he’d gone on to open one of the most popular medical clinics in London. A fair number of his patients had found their way onto Grace’s doorstep.

“It’s my niece.”

There was some resemblance between the towering doctor and the timid girl at his side. They had the same nose, though it looked significantly better on a feminine face. The girl ducked behind her uncle, clutching at his coat, whimpering.

“It’s okay. She’s my sister,” Doctor Brown reassured her.

He turned to Grace, leaning closer so the whisper passed only between the two.

“He beat her.”

Again, Grace’s eyes flicked towards the girl.

“Come in.”

She glanced towards the living room, checking that Mrs. Banks was still where she’d left her. The doctor followed her eyes, raising his eyebrows.

“I see you’re already busy.”

“James,” Grace scolded him. “She’s just a client.”

She picked at the pins she’d tucked into her sleeve to prove the point. Doctor James Brown grinned.

“So, I shouldn’t go introduce myself?”

Occasionally, Grace would call the good Doctor round to look over some of the more battered children who ended up at her door. She pushed him towards the stairs.

“Choose any bedroom.”

James nodded, his mood becoming more serious as he gently gathered his niece into his arms, princess style, to carry her upstairs. Grace winced. She hoped it was merely James’ sentimentally towards his niece.

The Doctor was down again quickly.

“Here.”

He pulled a cheque from his coat pocket. Grace barely glanced at the number scrawled in the Doctor’s crabby writing before pushing it back to him.

“I can’t take that.”

“Sure, you can. I know you need the money. And it's for helping my niece.”

He shoved the cheque into her hands and left before she could throw it back at him. Grace groaned, smoothing it out to look at the massive number. She did need the money – it was unsurprisingly hard to run a boarding house when none of the occupants had much money.

“Was that Doctor Brown?”

Grace jumped, stuffing the cheque into a pocket before turning around to find Mrs. Banks in the doorway.

“I didn’t know he had a sister.”

Grace gave her a stern look.

“You cannot mention that you saw him here.”

Mrs. Banks blinked, shocked, and hurt. She’d felt they’d been getting along. Grace winced and quickly relaxed her facial expression. It was no use letting her anger out on Mrs. Banks.

“This house operates as a safe house for people with nowhere else to go,” she explained softly, leading Mrs. Banks back into the living room. “The people who end up here are often at the lowest points of their lives.”

She sat back on the floor and retrieved her needle from where she’d left it in Mrs. Banks’ skirt.

“To protect them, it’s best to keep quiet.”

Mrs. Banks swallowed. Grace was bent over her skirt again, but she’d caught a glimpse of an expression of love and care. It was beautiful.

“And terms of the sibling comment,” Grace continued, straightening up to consider how to best explain without revealing her connection to Mary Poppins. “It’s a reference to the woman who protected us.”

Mrs. Banks nodded, though she didn’t quite understand.

The room fell into silence. After a while, Mrs. Banks started to describe her children, laughing about an absurd story they had told about their latest outing with their nanny. She felt like she could tell this woman anything.

“George tried to tell her off, but Mary Poppins managed to turn it around so in the end he was thanking her.”

Grace joined in the laughter, imagining the scandalous look Mary would wear as her employer tried to tell her that she was out of line.

“There.”

She cut the thread and held out the skirt to check the result. Mrs. Banks bent over too, squinting at the fabric. She couldn’t even tell where the tear had been. It was as if the accident had never happened. It was amazing. How much would such a feat cost? She quickly found her purse in her coat pocket, but found Grace’s hand upon hers.

“You don’t need to pay.”

This was an investment, Grace thought. A saviour, Mrs. Banks thought.

“But” Grace continued, “if you ever need a safe place, or someone to talk with, feel free to come by.”

Prev - Chapter List - Next

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #271: Florence Nightingale (Santa)

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're celebrating Christmas with last year's Santa, Florence Nightingale! She's a Circle of Stars Druid to heal the sick, fly like Mary Poppins, and ratta some tatta. She's also a Rune Knight Fighter. You might not be a berserker any more, but that doesn't mean you don't have some sweet sweet madness enhancement.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Time for the gun show.

Race and Background

She might be hopped up on Christmas right now, but Nightingale is still a Variant Human at heart. She gets proficiency with Medicine as well as +1 Constitution and Wisdom. She also picks up the Skill Expert feat for one more point in Dexterity, proficiency in Stealth to santa her way down chimneys, and expertise (doubled proficiency) in medicine. Berserkingale was a field medic, but this Nightingale has the full force of the earth's greatest (and technically only) clinic. She's still a soldier: that's Athletics and Intimidation proficiency. Nobody likes going to the doctor. The gun certainly doesn't help.

Ability Scores

Medicine is a Wisdom check, so that's number one. After that is Dexterity. Guns and not dying in a santa suit are both dexterity-based skills, this probably isn't news to you. Constitution comes next: you're still partly a berserker, so you can tank some serious hits if it means you can fight disease. Your Strength isn't as high as I'd like it, but we'll deal with it later. Your Charisma is also pretty low.. You can scare people into following your orders, but you're not exactly winning any prizes for your bedside manner. Finally, dump Intelligence. You know exactly what you need to cure illness, and nothing else.

Class Levels

Fighter 1: First level fighters get proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves as well as two skills from the fighter list. Grab Insight to tell if a kid's been naughty or nice and Perception to make sure your aim's steady. getting a needle in properly is hard in melee range, let alone 100 feet out. To help with that, you also get the Archery fighting style for a +2 on all ranged weapon attack rolls. Your health is important too, so use your Second Wind once a short rest to heal up as a bonus action.

Fighter 2: At second level you can use your Action Surge to take a second action in a single turn. Time is of the essence when it comes to treatment, after all. You can do this once per short rest.

Druid 1: First level druids learn Druidic, a written language that can only be decoded by other druids. Have you ever tried to read a doctor's handwriting? Exactly. You can also cast and prepare Spells using your Wisdom. It's important to prepare adequately for the weather to avoid pneumonia or heatstroke, so pick up Druidcraft to pick up the weather forecast. You also pick up Primal Savagery to get a little unarmed attack power going. Since you can swap out leveled spells overnight, don't get too worked up over what you pick. For first level spells I'd suggest Cure Wounds and Healing Word for the obvious medical uses, Faerie Fire for an attack boost worthy of being your third skill with that ridiculously long name, Jump for your first taste of lifting off the ground, and Purify Food and Drink. This will purge nearby food of all the toxins (and sugars) in it, rendering it much safer for the kiddos.

Druid 2: Second level druids can Wild Shape, turning you into a beast of CR 1/4 or less twice a short rest. This lasts 1 hour and goes up an hour every 2 levels. Your beast can't fly or swim, and you keep all your soft stats while in beast form, effectively gaining the beast's HP as temporary HP. You can't cast spells, but you can concentrate on them. But that's not what we're here for. We're here because Star druids can also use those Wild Shape charges to take on a Starry Form. It only lasts for 10 minutes, but while transformed this way you get all decked out for Christmas with lights and all, plus you can choose between three forms. As an archer you can turn that crossbow into a machine gun with a bonus action attack, launching radiant damage at your foes. As a chalice you can heal a nearby creature whenever you cast a healing spell. As a dragon your intelligence and wisdom checks, along with your concentration saves, always have a roll of at least 10. You're now as good at medicine as a rogue could get at eleventh level, and we're still level four. You're a good doctor, is what I'm getting at. One last thing: while you have your Star Map on you, you'll know Guidance and Guiding Bolt, and on top of that you can cast the latter without spending a spell slot up to proficiency times a day. It's a damage spell that gives advantage on the next attack to hit your target after you do. Nightingale's a great support, and you'll make sure your foes know why.

Druid 3: Third level druids get second level spells. We're still not flying yet, but Warding Wind will give you some protection, at least. Lesser Restoration is obvious, I hope, but pick up Barkskin too. A Santa outfit is not armor, so this can help keep you safe during the Santa tournament.

Druid 4: Fourth level druids get a Wild Shape Improvement, so you can turn into swimming animals now if you want. You also get your first Ability Score Improvement, so pick up the Piercer feat. This lets you re-roll one die of piercing damage a turn, and you can add an extra die to a damage roll on a critical hit with a piercing weapon. You really like needles. You also get Thunderclap. You had to leave most of your grenades at home for this gig, but it won't hurt to keep a few on hand. Won't hurt you, at least.

Druid 5: For third level spells, grab Aura of Vitality for more healing without having to sacrifice offense, and Revivify for your targeted guts ability. Druids don't really get the better resurrection spells, but hopefully you won't need those.

Druid 6: Sixth level star druids can foretell a Cosmic Omen- when you finish a long rest, roll a die. Then, depending on your roll you can add or subtract a d6 from nearby attacks, saves, and checks as a reaction Proficiency times a day. It's a shame you can't make both options work for the perfect translation of Assault Medicine, but we'll take what we can get.

Druid 7: There aren't many fourth level spells we want, aside from turning you into a Guardian of Nature. This transforms you for 1 minute, and during which you can pick one of two modes. A Primal Beast is a good pick to lean a little more berserker-y, bumping up your speed, giving you darkvision and advantage on all strength attack rolls, plus you deal extra damage with melee weapons. Alternatively, the Great Tree works for your archer form, giving you temporary HP, and you make dexterity-based attacks and constitution saves with advantage. You also slow down nearby creatures, which doesn't quite flavor well, but it's a cherry on top at this point, why not.

Druid 8: Eighth level druids can turn into any CR 1 beast, and they also get another ASI. Bump up your Dexterity again for a stronger gun and armor.

Fighter 3: Now that the Christmas spirit has welled up inside of you, we can spread it to others. As a Rune Knight you can wield Giant Might, making you a large creature with advantage on strength checks and saves. Your weapon attacks can also deal extra damage once a turn- interestingly, not just melee attacks. You can grow up like this proficiency times a day, but there's a bigger reason we're here. A rune knight is also a Rune Carver, giving you 2 runes you can carve into a weapon, suit of armor, shield, or jewelry over a long rest. The Stone Rune is an effective tranquilizer and naughty/nice detector. While holding it, a creature gets advantage on insight checks, plus darkvision for your dumb human eyes. You can also use your reaction to invoke the rune once a short rest, forcing a wisdom save against the target. If they fail, they're charmed for a minute. Every doctor these days knows you need anesthetic before you start the surgery. You also pick up the Fire Rune, doubling your proficiency bonus with all tools. More importantly, you can invoke the rune while hitting a creature, shackling them. They take extra damage, and if they fail a strength save they'll be restrained for up to a minute. Now you could take, say, a nonmagical lance and turn it into a weapon that can tied down your foes. That's right, we put Nightingale's ability to turn Astolfo into Saber Astolfo in this build.

Fighter 4: Fourth level fighters get their own ASI, and we're grabbing the Crossbow Expert feat. I'd consider your umbrella more of a light crossbow than a hand one so we're entirely here for letting you ignore loading, but really you can play the character how you want.

Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack, putting that feat we just got to good use. If the name didn't give it away, it's an extra attack each attack action.

Fighter 6: Our last stop in the fighter levels is another ASI, bumping up your Wisdom for stronger spells and better medicine.

Druid 9: Ninth level druids get fifth level spells, and there's a lot here to like. Control Winds might just get you the lift you need for takeoff, and there's the big healing spells like Greater Restoration and Mass Cure Wounds.

Druid 10: Tenth level druids get another cantrip, so pick up Resistance to buff your saves so you don't get sick with whatever you're treating. You also get Twinkling Constellations, buffing your Starry Form. This increases the damage and healing from Archer and Chalice, respectively. Best of all, your dragon constellation can now fly, and even gets a hover speed. Even better, you can swap between forms each turn your Starry Form is active. Umbrellas might not be the fastest way to fly, but at least you can't get knocked off your mount.

Druid 11: If you want to get the lead out use your sixth level spell slot on Wind Walk, giving you and up to 10 other creatures a flying speed of 300'. The downside is you can't attack while this is going on, but you can always revert the transformation. (It's worth noting it takes 1 minute to get into and out of this form.) If you'd rather do something simple, Heal heals people and removes status effects, Heroes' Feast adds to your friends' HP and prevents them from getting frightened in the first place. An ounce of prevention, a pound of cure, etc. etc.

Druid 12: Use your last ASI to bump up your Constitution for more HP and stronger runes.

Druid 13: There's really only one seventh level spell I want, and it's Regenerate. You can now reattach severed limbs, it's sweet.

Druid 14: Our final level makes you Full of Stars, making you resist bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage while in your Starry Form.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Compared to the old Nightingale, this new one's even tougher, with more HP, ways to reduce damage, and a higher AC. The healer's the last person you want to go down on your team, so this is great for your party.

Speaking of damage, you also deal more than the original. Two light crossbow shots + an archer hit deals 4d8+12 damage in total, about as much as if you were a maxed out fighter. A "proper" barbarian could probably do more, but you've got consistency.

Speaking of consistency, the dragon constellation means you have super consistent skills for a large portion of the game. It might not effect every skill in the game, but an eleventh level ability at level 4 is never bad.

Cons:

While your constellation transformations are longer than your typical rage, they're still pretty limited in terms of dealing with multiple encounters before taking a short rest. With only 2 uses, you can run out really fast.

Your AC is better than the original, but that's still not saying much. 14 AC isn't terrible on an archer, but you can do better- just put on some medium armor.

Multiclassing has plenty of benefits, but you miss out on high level spells. Tsunamis are cool, it's a shame you'll never cause one.

[winterswhumpblr]

I posted 257 times in 2021

17 posts created (7%)

240 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 14.1 posts.

I added 63 tags in 2021

#whump community - 12 posts

#whumplist - 10 posts

#whump list - 10 posts

#whumpblr - 8 posts

#john murphy - 5 posts

#the 100 - 5 posts

#whump - 5 posts

#mortel netflix - 3 posts

#mortel - 3 posts

#chris halliwell - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 25 characters

#i dont know what im doing

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

How have I not seen a single whump list for John Murphy from the 100. As a character he goes through so much, and Richard Harmon, the actor who plays Murphy, literally does such an amazing job at portraying everything poor Murphy goes through.

Might just re-start the show and make one myself. Who knows, it might become the first list in my folder I’ll actually post<3

{there is one one the whumapedia page I believe, but there’s nothing on tumblr with the good gifs :,}

5 notes • Posted 2021-11-05 08:12:26 GMT

#4

I just finished the French show, “Mortel” and I cannot physically bring myself to do or consume any other kind of content. It’s literally all I can think about: the found family the main 3 have with each other, the different t r a u m a s they have and how they work through it. The magical aspect with some exhaustion and literally AMAZING acting all around.

If I could bring myself to do anything besides thinking about this show, I would write a fanfic about Victor and the Mary Poppins bag of trauma he has. Or I’d create a video edit dedicated to their story, the highs and the lows.

It’s literally five am why have I done this to myself xx

But yeah maybe whump list coming soon if I can wipe my tears away long enough to rewatch the show<33

6 notes • Posted 2021-11-16 04:18:15 GMT

#3

Out of sheer boredom I created a one shot Peter Pan AU. Wendy’s a teenage writer who currently lives alone; Peter is her childhood friend, let the fluffy romance commence!

She sighed closing her book and moving the blankets over her shoulders, the winds breeze had chilled her to the bone. She looked out her window, the city looks so pretty at night-time she thought, her apartment was on the highest floor of her block, so she had the best Birdseye view of The city of London. Her home away from home, it reminded her a lot of her first home, back in New York City.

She smiled as she thought back to her fondest memories in the states. She wished she could go back there one last time, but as the first rain droplets fell from the sky, she was reminded why that would never happen. She moved from her spot on the single bed to lean against her window sill, she reached out and opened her sliding window as far as it would go, keen on listening to the rain fall.

She sat there in silence for awhile, her head rested on her hands which were being propped by her elbows that dug into the wooden ledge. The rain poured on and she could feel the spark of her creativity flow through her once more. She turned her head towards her bedside table where a leather discarded notebook lay underneath her fathers old fountain pen.

She ignored the pain that erupted in her chest as she grabbed both items, she didn’t want to think about that now; her fingers were itching to write. She opened the bookmarked page and read over what she had written last, it was a simple story about a love sick girl who wished she could stay young forever and a heartbroken boy who longed for a future where he could call her his.

She didn’t think too much about the words she was drawing with ink as she wrote, she let magic do it’s thing, it could be corrected later on. As the rain poured and she released her thoughts into her writing she swore she could hear footsteps come from outside.

She looked around her plain bedroom, the door was closed, her wheeled chair dormant beside her aged desk. Her wardrobe stood by the door leaving a large open area in the middle of her bedroom where she could walk around. No one was around, she lived alone, John and Michael lived with her aunt in the states.

She thought nothing of it as she took a break and stared up at the moon, it always looked so lonely in the sky, even though it was surrounded by thousands of stars she still couldn’t help but feel bad.

She cleared her throat, “why is it the loneliest souls are often found surrounded by people?”

“Because the more people that surround you, the more alone you seem to feel.” She didn’t expect a reply of any sort and whirled her head around, a boy floated at her window, completely and utterly drenched.

She exclaimed, “Peter! You’re going to catch a cold” he laughed and tried to tell her he doesn’t get sick but she had already sped off to her bathroom to grab a clean towel.

He climbed into her bedroom through the window and floated past her bed and onto her desk chair carefully, he didn’t want to get her sheets wet. She had come back in a flash, warm white towel ready to be used.

He smiled at her, “Wendy! You’ve returned” she nodded her head, “here’s the towel Peter, bend your head for me” he did as she asked and she got to work at drying his hair.

He looked around the room, spotting her journal almost instantly, “you working on something new?” She shook her head, “no, I was trying to finish the story before you came in.

He pouted, “but you were talking to me, if I had known you were writing I wouldn’t have answered.” Wendy laughed, “oh Peter, I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to the moon!”

He looked up to face her, her hands around his neck as the towel stayed put. “What do you mean, talking to the moon?”

Wendy smiled and continued to dry his hair, “you see, when I was a child my mother would tell me the story of the man on the moon. He was a lonely old man who didn’t have a friend in the world.” Peter narrowed his eyes, “not a single friend? Not even his shadow?”

Wendy shook her head, “not even a shadow friend. The moon took pity on him because of this you see, so she summoned him to her.” Peter made a face “the moons not a girl!” Wendy rolled her eyes, “she is Pete, and what’s more, she made him her protector! He had a job to do and someone to speak to finally.”

Peter smiled, “kind of how I’m your protector, huh, Wen?” Wendy stopped drying his hair, she looked at him sternly, “I don’t need you to be my protector, Pete, I need you to be my friend.”

Peter blushed, “you mean that, Wen? You really mean that?” Wendy smiled at Peter who beamed, “wow! I promise I’ll be the best friend you could ask for Wendy, you’ll see!”

“You already are Peter.” Wendy whispered it so quiet she was sure he couldn’t hear her, but she was wrong. Peter stood up abruptly which startled Wendy so much she slipped on the puddle he created and almost fell back.

Peter had thought fast on his feet, he grabbed her hands and pulled her up gently. She locked eyes with him, “you okay, Wen?” Wendy blushed and looked down which made Peter smirk.

He looked around the room again, “say, what kind of instrument do you use for music?”

“Hm?”

“Oh, you know, so we can listen to music who do you have to call?” Wendy laughed, “we don’t need to call anyone, Pete, I have my speaker for that.”

He waited patiently as she scrolled through her phone for a song, he had asked her a bajillion questions about her phones use, and, Wendy couldn’t help but think how much Peter missed out on in Neverland.

She chose some piano music and hummed along to it as she dimmed the lights in her bedroom, Peter faked a yawn, “this is what you call music? It’s not even upbeat! How can we dance to this?”

Wendy pushed her hair behind her ears and got Peter back on his feet, he had whined and asked what she was doing but she hushed him immediately.

She grasped his hand, placing one on the small of her back and intertwining the other with her own. She showed him the steps and as the rain continued to pour they danced in her bedroom.

Her head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck since he stood almost a head taller. She closed her eyes and listened to the rain, for the first time in what felt like a really long time, she was happy.

See the full post

7 notes • Posted 2021-02-10 20:35:29 GMT

#2

Chris Halliwell Whump List

Played by Drew Fuller.

(A/N: This is my first list ever so bare with me as I figure out what I’m doing. I do not own the GIF, credit to @random-fandom-whump. It’s not whump related but I added his first and last appearances on the show.) WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD.

S5.22: First appearance

S6.06: Shot, injured, sweating, groaning in pain

S6.10: Thrown, beaten, loses powers, feverish, injured, things from his past are shown, fought, sad, grieving, crying

S6.12: Reveals part of the truth, tries to help the sisters, is told to leave, sad, saves Wyatt, pushed to the ground

S6.14: Yelled at, loss of trust, asked to leave, seen in Phoebe’s vision

S6.15: Cut, healed, thrown to the ground, emotional, speaks about his relationship with his father, truth is revealed to both Phoebe and Paige, thrown across the room, fought, worried, crying, emotional

S6.16: Running out of time, pushed to the ground, anxious, stressed, slowly fading away, fading between limbo and reality, disappears, re-appears, Piper finds out who he really is

S6.17: Meets his granddad, coughing, confronted about not being alright, reveals something about his future, crying, emotional

S6.18: Scratched by a spider-demon, feverish, sweating, dizzy, turned, weak, in pain, on the ground, fought, beating someone up

S6.19: Asked about his relationship with his father, dismissive, holding someone off of a ledge, interrogating them, pushes them off

S6.20: Car chase, arrested, broken out

S6.21: Confession, opens up about difficulties

S6.23: Stabbed, dying, in his fathers arms, fades away, mourned

S7.07: Shown in Leo’s vision sequence, refers to himself as Leo’s “root pain”, asks Leo to let him go

S8.22: Last appearance

11 notes • Posted 2021-12-04 01:33:11 GMT

#1

JOHN MURPHY WHUMP LIST

Played by Richard Harmon

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS: Abuse, torture, death, mentions of repeated and *potentially* forced intercourse.

{A/N: I do not own the above GIF, credits to @inmyownlaine. This list is a long one as Murphy appears in all seven seasons of the show, so it took some time to complete. I believe I’ve gotten everything but do let me know if I missed some things. There are quotes scattered throughout of either something Murphy has said or something someone has said to him that I felt were important in his storyline.} WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD.

S1.02: Fought, beaten up, bloody, held at knifepoint.

S1.03: Manhandled, shoved.

S1.04: Falsely accused, tripped up, on the ground, beaten up by a large number of people, gagged, tied up, hung by the neck, footing kicked out from beneath him, choking, being strangled, cut down, coughing, bloody, on the ground, shakily gets up, emotional, angry, holding someone at knifepoint, beaten up, held at the edge of a cliff, banished, bloody on the ground, shakily gets up.

S1.10: Found in front of the camp, covered in blood, sickly, cut up, recoils away from touch, shaking, mentions of torture, torn off fingernails shown, sick, throwing up blood, weak, given a virus, he spreads across the camp, weak, hostility towards him, lying on a hammock, gets up to let someone else use the hammock, shakily sits back down, tries to help someone, pushed away, suffocates someone.

S1.11: Fought

S1.12: Holds someone hostage, gets them to make a noose, tries to hang them like he was hung, punched, fought, runs away

S1.13: Re-captured by grounders, tied up, stabbed in the leg, screaming in pain.

S2.01: Limping, held at gunpoint, flinching, limping, laying down, groaning in pain, mentions not wanting to die alone, tying wound, revealing trauma, silently crying, punched, fought, straddled, beaten up.

2.02: Hands tied, limping, manhandled, chained to a wall, locked in a room, mentions torture, flinching, unchained to the wall — still handcuffed, manhandled, limping.

S2.03: Un-cuffed, pushed, used as bait.

S2.04: Running, limping, in pain, stops, pulling Bellamy up using a makeshift rope, holding onto the ‘rope’ on both ends to stop him from falling, pulling, struggling.

S2.05: Grabbed, flinched.

S2.08: Attempted to be used as bait, held at gunpoint, emotional, teary-eyed.

S2.10: Fought, punched, teary-eyed.

S2.12: Held at knifepoint, knocked unconscious, coughing, helped up.

S2.14: Explosion, thrown back, splattered with blood, another explosion, holding his ear.

2.16: Rowing a boat, bitten by a sea creature, groaning in pain, emotional, witnessed a traumatic event, groaning, hunched over, bleeding arm, clutching his arm, emotional, weak, walks away, dizzy, falls to the ground, angry, left behind, wakes up on the ground, bandaged and bleeding arm, finds sanctuary, watched a man kill himself.

S3.01: Panicked, tries opening the door to the sanctuary, the door won’t open, going insane trapped alone, filming himself, crying, angry, crying, tries to kill himself with a gun, can’t pull the trigger, crying, doors to the sanctuary open, sees Jaha, weak, tries to punch Jaha, collapses into his arms, unconscious, carried bridal style, wakes up, leaves, teary-eyed.

S3.05: Uses himself as bait, dry blood on him, covering himself in animal blood, held at knifepoint, forced onto his knees, forced to stand, still at knifepoint, taken.

S3.06: Coughing, tied up, interrogated, begging, bloody, injured, whipped, crying out.

S3.07: Tortured, tied up, bloody, (flashbacks from last episode showing him crying out and being whipped), weak, covered in injuries, choked, pulling at the rope binding his hands, removing the rope, running, trapped, fighting his captor, thrown to the ground, crying out, choking, coughing, knocked out, found unconscious, gagged, bound, waking up, held at gunpoint, flinching away from gunshots, witnessed someone shot, untied, witnessed death.

S3.09: Pushed down a couple of steps, in a fetal position, arms protecting his head, struggling to get up, holding his side, held at sword point, pushed against a pillar, watches someone slit someone else’s neck, witnessed death.

S3.10: Chained to a wall, dog collar, collar removed, pushed, watches torture, dog collared again, collar tugged, implied forced sexual activity (needing to sleep with the Heda so she doesn’t kill him).

S3.12: Lightly touched from behind, flinches, talks a little bit about what he’s been through whilst with the new Heda, betrayed, held at sword point, teary-eyed, arrested, manhandled, yelling.

S3.13: Flashbacks to his time on the Ark, watches someone get tortured, turns away, hears the person screaming, (flashback: slapped, instigated, forced trauma reveal, slapped, spits blood, grabbed, pushed against a wall, thrown across the room, punched, thrown over a table, pushed against a wall, choked, bent over his knees), persuades Indra to stop torturing Pike.

S3.14: Held at knifepoint, teary-eyed, “I can’t do this”.

See the full post

108 notes • Posted 2021-12-10 00:51:27 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[peantbutter-honeycombs]

The Hollowing Series: Part II

Title: The Boy and His Companion

Word count: 3,339

Characters: The 11th Doctor, Amy Pond, ocs

Warnings: Platonic fic not romantic.

Notes: Originally the story was going to be completely told from the point of Sophia but after a few drafts I decided it should follow Oliver. My college friend who sometimes beta reads my work used to hate the boy but now she likes him. He used to be mean and dismissive toward Sophia but clearly I changed things. Even I quite like his character now.

Speacial Thanks to @underskaro for beta reading this chapter. I know your busy and this really meant a lot to me. So thank so much.

Figured I tag @mirkwoodshewolf because they kindly edited the first chapter and I want them to know I finally got around to the second.

———

The rain had ceased, leaving a heavy blanket of grey white on the hills. It hugged the rain-soaked ground, dancing around each of the kid’s heels. The late day fog controlled the landscape, making it blur in the same way as the opening credits of Mary Poppins.

The entire walk home, the two walked in silence. Oliver, in one hand, held the middle bar of the bright green trike. The metal was ice in his palm. He gripped the bar so tight his knuckles were turning a ghostly shade of white. He held Sophia’s hand in the other, though not nearly as tight. However, still tight enough to make the little girl uneasy.

Sophia would have “said” something if it wasn’t so woefully clear Oliver was cross. His soulful hickory eyes were hard as stone. Instead of their usual boyish spark, there lingered a disdainful flicker. She could swear he was muttering something bitter. Now and then she’d fear a foul word, he’d probably later scold himself for saying.

Whoooooooooo.

He stopped, eyes narrowing. He took a deep, rather stiff breath and sharply exhaled through his nostrils. Adrenaline surged through his system so fast he felt it burn a path through his veins. He spun around, pulling Sophia behind him. Oliver had a glacially callous glare on his face, eyes fixed on the horizon.

The wind tore at the collar of his slicker, and his damp mess of blonde curls. Their surroundings were clouded, hidden, shrouded by the thick veil of fog. Oliver stood silently, the only sound coming from the ferocious flapping of his jacket. He scanned the stretch with the careful eye of a concerned mother.

The fog is not the mist. The fog is not the mist.

The second they arrived home, Oliver condemned Sophia to the time-out chair. She quietly settled in on the stool, positioned in the far corner of the dead end down stairs corridor, without protest. It was an older item. The hand carved mahogany always felt stiff on her bum. But she thought it better not to whine.

Oliver, he sat alone in the living room. A damp, worn out mess of a human being. He tiredly sunk into the couch. He ignored the clammy feeling of his rain-soaked clothes. He completely collapsed across the cushions. Every muscle in his body just surrendered to gravity. He could feel the tiredness pressing on his chest, weighing him down, draining his energy, exhausting his patience.

Why would she think?… Especially now. He rolled off his side onto his back and focused his eyes on the ceiling. She can’t just… Ugh!

He brought a pillow to his face and screamed.

The seconds ticked away into minutes; in the isolation of the sitting room, Oliver let the world around him fade into silence. The minutes ticked into half an hour; Sophia absentmindedly twiddled her thumbs, humming a familiar song in the back of her head; Oliver had been awake for sixteen hours. His consciousness was grasping at straws.

One sniff and Oliver’s eyes are open. He rolled on to his side. Immediately his face fell into irritation. Oliver locked eyes with a familiar pair mere inches from his face.

“I’m not done with timeout. Go back.”

Sophia blinked, processing the instructions she’d just been given. Her eyes darted around, searching his face for any traces of sarcasm or falsehood. Nothing.

Sophia lightly pecks his cheek in the sloppy little kid way. It left a little wet mark, one he’d wipe away once she’d left the room. Oliver chuckles softly, carefully bumping his forehead against Sophia’s. The little ginge giggled, stumbling back, whilst raising a palm to where her temple had been nudged.

“Ten minutes?”

Sophia nods and politely shuffles off.

The landscape blurred, clouded, the fog lingered hovering above the cool streams and the crowned hills. The brilliant greens and vibrant patches of rich wildflower were poking through the fleeting fog. Soon the sun would begin its descent. Lowering, lowering until it was nothing more than a single sliver of gold vanishing on the horizon.

Eyes closed, arms folded over his chest, which rhythmically rose and fell with each dozy intake of breath, Oliver laid quietly on the couch. The father clock at the top of the stairs ticked, the pendulum swung from side to side. Quarter till four, it read.

Sophia sat in her timeout chair, continuing to hum her melodic tune. In these moments of boredom with no toys to play, no stuffy to “talk” to and no Ollie to cling to, all Sophia could do was wait. She sighed, blowing up a long strand of hair that kept dipping, falling between her eyes.

Oliver stuck his head through the white Tudor arch way that separated the sitting room and entryway corridor. Sophia, having somehow positioned herself upside down on the small stool, gave the boy a dopey smile.

Oliver rolled his eyes, pulling at the fabric of his shirt.

“Hey Soph a loaf,” Oliver softly sing-songed, sitting against the wall directly beside the timeout spot. Being upside down, her auburn hair fell in waves suspended centimetres above the rough and stained planks. She was holding her shirt down, preventing it from exposing her stomach.

“You… Wanna make a pillow fort?”

The quiet of the house is shattered by Sophia, letting out a blaring squeal. In moments she somersaults off the bench, landing clumsily on the floor. She’s up on her feet in a heartbeat, bouncing, squealing, stomping.

Oliver chuckles lightly. “Sophia, Sophia, Sophia.”

Sophia poked her head through the arch at the call of her name.

Sophia whined, tilting her head as if to ask ‘what?’

“Nothing. Just… love you Soph a loaf. Lots and lots.”

The pillow fort took longer than expected, given that they both took the construction of fort building oh so seriously. They rushed through putting on their pjs, then moved on to making dinner. No one could tell them not to eat under the bedclothes.

“You can’t put peanut butter on grilled cheese!”

Just as it did every day, the sun set. The shadows of the trees and the aging building stretched up the hills, as the golden ball of orangish yellow began its descent.

Beneath navy blue blankets, patterned with rocket ships and sea creature stickers, sat the two children. Oliver had built much of the fort; Borrowing cushions, towels and blankets from around the house. While Sophia had eagerly decorated their cloth kingdom; twinkle lights, stickers, and scribbled drawings decorated the walls and ceilings.

“So her dad was killed-- Ow. By the same agent trying to recruit her?"

Cuddled firmly against his side was Sophia, her body glued against his similar to Double Pops. Every time she moved, her knees or feet would buck, nailing Oliver in the ribs or hip. He had an arm wrapped around her neck, functioning as both a pillow for her head, and one support for the tablet he was holding.

“That’s quite coinc-- Ow! Sophia!”

Sophia bit the edge of her lip, trying to contain her giggles. Her giggle was a violin playing the open string G (Sol), alluring and dulcet. Considering she burst into a mini giggle fit with each jab, Oliver’s face crumpled like a discarded wad of paper.

He could feel Sophia wiggling against him. Her legs squirmed in a boyishly wild fashion. Her knees curved, beating him in the ribs.

“Ow!" Oliver sat up.

“Okay.” He inhaled sharply. His body was stiff from high levels of irritation. Sophia calmed herself, gently curling her toes. Her brown eyes followed Oliver’s movements, becoming larger, curious.

“Sophia, do you have to use the toilet?”

Sophia drew in her lip. She bent her knees, so she grabbed her toes. She stared, thinking hard. He watched as her face became still, eyes blinking frenziedly. Within fifteen seconds, she nodded.

“Let’s go then.” He stood, helping Sophia up.

He crawled out of the fort’s entry tunnel, it was barely big enough for him to squeeze through. They’d run low on pillows, while building some part of the structure had to be sacrificed.

He heard the soft scuffling of sock padded feet against the old wooden floor. “Sophia?” He looked back over his shoulder, realising Sophia was making more noise than necessary.

“No! Soph, you’re not bringing a blanket to the loo.”

“We lay my love and I…” Oliver sang.

Oliver sat on the third step of the stairs. Beating his hands against his thighs. He was a child. His rigid posture had been replaced by a chill slouch. Sophia had taken her time correcting the blanket as she shifted. She was just now clambering out of the blanket fort.

“Beneath the weeping willow…”

Sophia shuffled past him into the next room, across the corridor from the sitting room. As she passed, Oliver gently took hold of the back of her shirt. Sophia backtracked, then turned on her heels to face him. Oliver had a focused look, his eyes fixated on the ginger like a surgeon during brain surgery.

“Sophia. Where are you going?” He asked.

Sophia wrinkled her nose, pointing in every direction. Oliver simply rolled his eyes.

“Then go find your sweater.” He instructed. Sophia points to the room she was headed toward. “No. It’s not in the drawing room. You left it in my room. Upstairs.”

Sophia let out a pout huff, making Oliver chuckle. She looked past him at the stairs, eyes narrowing to a thin line. Nonetheless, she began her slow ascent upwards. A downside of wooden stairs. If you’re not wearing shoes, instead socks, it's easy to slip. Her sock covered feet slipped and slid, making her ascent up the stairs look clumsy.

“One foot in front of the other.” Oliver teased. Sophia, her face only inches from his ear, blew a spitty raspberry. With the satisfying feeling of retaliation, Sophia pressed on.

“Remember to use the toilet.” Oliver reminded, wiping the flecks of spit from the side of his face.

Oliver patted his thighs and then stood. Standing rather motionless, in his sharp black and orange KTM Factory pyjamas, he distinguished himself amongst the rustic clutter of the foyer. After a moment of stillness, he leapt from the third step, landing on the floor with a hard thud. He resets himself, brushing a hand through his mop top of dirty honey blonde hair.

He wanders around the corridor, gently running his fingers across the wall, over the knickknacks and along the edges of the chair rail.

"But now alone I lie..." he quietly sang, “...And weep beside the tree...”

The house was old. Ancient. It looked like it had been plucked from an autumn-aphile's Pinterest board. Time had been kind to the country home. While the creepers crept along the worn grey cobbles, the inside was a monument to times long gone by.

Thump, thump, thump.

Sophia. She was moving around upstairs.

His mother was a collector. Her husband called her a hoarder. She called herself a dreamer. She was a traveller. When she had been young, before the children, she'd seen the world collecting baubles and knickknacks that now cluttered the home.

Thump, thu, thu, thum.

"Your feet aren't drums!"

A single overhanging lamp dimly illuminated the foyer, mirroring the glow of candle light. Their neighbour had once asked why they didn’t store all their tchotchkes away in the shed. Stacks of completed books left careless about rough wood carvings from around, antique finds nestled beneath blankets of dust, dried flowers, and colourful drawings from Oliver’s younger days.

Thump, thu, thu, thum.

The house, so full of things. Some would shudder at the chaos of it all, others would be queasy because of claustrophobia, and rest would be quietly fascinated.

Oliver stood himself in front of Credenza, pushed up against the left wall. He eyed the reflection staring at him through the distressed mirror mounted about mahogany sideboard.

He’d forgotten a lot rather recently. Thirteen. He’s thirteen. His eyes are a weak shade of brown, not like Sophia’s, the colour of almond coffee. His dirty blonde hair softly curled and tucked, just barely overhanging his sunken eyes.

Thump, thu, thu, thum.

“Singing ‘Oh willow waly’…” he sang, “… by the tree that weeps with me.”

Oliver retreated, leaning against the sloping stair posts. He checked the clock hanging above the front door. Four minutes had passed since Sophia had gone upstairs. Standing there with nothing to do but listen to the creaky footsteps from above.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

“Singing—”

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

His nerves abandon him quickly. His breathing becomes shallow and erratic. He couldn’t hear his rapid breathing, the chaotic beat of his heart dominated. His fingers curl into a fist, nails piercing the tender skin of his palm.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

His eyes dart to the clock. 6:11.

It’s as if his hidden sixth or seventh sense activates. Every tick of the clock is a threat, every creak of a floorboard is a risk. His fingers twitched as he defensively moved toward the door. His body stiffens, trying to shut him down before he can reach the front door. He keeps moving.

His hands tremble and his skin becomes rough with goosebumps as he reaches towards the door handle grip.

No one knocks. No one could would.

He grips the handle tightly thumb pressed on the thumb-place, the metal would surely leave a mark on his palm. He finds it hard to swallow, lungs betraying him. Slowly he presses down on the thumb-place, pulling on the handle.

“Hello!”

Oliver’s blood ran cold. He tightened his jaw.

“You followed us?” Oliver murmured. His grip on the door handle tightened, to where he could feel the cool metal dig into his palm. Standing square, shoulders defensively strained back, he felt a knot forming in the back of his throat. Fear sat quietly, waiting like a vulture, ready to claim him.

“You followed us home?” His eyes darted to the Moors, where a small cloud of mist was slowly forming. He wasn’t quite scared. His eyes showed more of a wary concern. After all, he was all that stood between two mysterious strangers and his world.

“Yes. We did.” As he spoke, Oliver observed the Doctor with slight aversion. When he spoke, he’d move his hands about. A little unnerving. Still Oliver held his ground, preventing the Doctor, still a stranger, from entering his home. “We have some questions…”

“Questions?”

Thump, thump, thump.

That’s when Oliver jumps. A pump of adrenaline surged through his system almost triggering his flight or fight instinct. Without his support “system”, it would have been flight. Oliver shook his head, pushing down his panic.

Thump, thump, thump.

He was the barrier between his world and trespassers. A wave of boldness washed through him, demanding he be bold and shielding. However, a light gust of embarrassment from his jump made his cheeks glow.

“You-- you have questions?” he stammered.

The Doctor seemed to take this as an invitation. He moved to enter the cobblestone house. Oliver slammed a hand across to the other side of the door frame, so he couldn’t enter.

The Doctor’s brows pressed together, his shoulders slumped, and his mouth hung slightly open and loose. His expression gave way to his confusion. A hard stone glare carved into Oliver’s tired eyes. A warning. The doctor took heed and took a careful step back.

His lighthearted manner returned within seconds.

“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m the Doctor, this is my friend Amy. What’s your name?” He asked as he extended a hand out for Oliver.

Oliver shook his head, smiling a little, as he gently pushed the Doctor’s hand down and said.

“Can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?”

Just because someone introduces themselves, they aren’t any less of a stranger. Though most of what he observed of the Doctor seemed safe, suspicion and caution still governed his mind. He’d be more trusting in different circumstances. But there weren’t many people worth trusting, at least not anymore.

“You’re still a stranger.”

The Doctor nods, scratching at his chin. “Fair enough.” Something about the grown man’s cluelessness. The right corner of Oliver’s lip twitched, threatening to curve upward. He started gesticulating again, moving his hands about as he spoke. “Answer me this then where is everyone else?”

His brain stuttered for a moment, his face fell, and the blood drained from his face, leaving him as pale as a sheet. He recomposed himself, adopting a more stoic expression.

“Home,” his tone was cold, cold as ice.

“Home?”

The Doctor observes Oliver’s shift in manner with calculative eyes. He leans back, arching a brow. Oliver only nods in response. However, he could see it. The Doctor could see it, the fear trying to hide in the corners of the blonde child’s eyes.

He’d figure that out later, for now…

“Tell me, why should we be wary of the mist?”

Oliver scratched the back of his head. His eyes struggled to focus on one point. Again, they settled on the Moors. His stomach twisted and sunk with his nerves, as he gripped the fabric of his shirt tightly, wrapping it around his hand.

“Hard to see, you could get lost.”

The Doctor squatted, so that his eyes were level with Oliver’s. He carefully studied Oliver’s face as he lowered his mouth. He went to speak, but Amy, she spoke first.

“Have people gotten lost?”

Thud.

This time his muscles become tense. “I-- I better get inside,” he stammered, gesturing with a thumb over his shoulder. His unsettled eyes shift down to the ground, avoiding the watchful looks of the Doctor and his companion. Oliver cleared his throat and then croaked out.

“You should get back home, before it’s too late.”

Without another word, he shut the door, leaving the Doctor and Amy in the chill of dusk.

Oliver was silent as he fell back against the front door. The tick of the grandfather clock at the top of the stairs felt louder than before. As the full realisation of his conversation sank in, he ran his hands down his face. A loud groan of frustration flowed past his lips.

It’s foolish to trust, he reminded himself, for no one knows what the mist does hide.

A small whine snapped him out of his stupor. He immediately stood. Sophia stood one step from the top of the stairs. She wore a puzzled expression. Oliver rolled his eyes, his brows creased, and he put on a fake smile.

“It was no one,” he lied, dismissively waving a hand in the air. Sophia’s eyes narrowed. “It was no one Sophia, leave it alone.” He insisted, trying to laugh the matter off.

“Now, I have some work to finish.” He said as he moved toward the drawing room. As far as he was concerned, the matter of who was at the door was finished. His mouth twitched into a genuine smile, and his tone softened. “If you’d like, you can color at the desk while I work.”

Sophia shook her head, gesturing with an arm toward the entire upstairs. “No? Just going to play in the upstairs?” He asked. She nodded, making her ginger tresses bounce. “By yourself? Are you sure?” The way her one dimple crinkled, the shifting of her freckles, gave him his answer.

“Fine, have fun, bed in an hour.” Oliver brushed his fingers through his hair, strolling into the drawing room.

Sophia brought a hand to her mouth, then blew him a sloppy kiss. Hearing the noise of the peck from the other side of the archway, Oliver bent an arm back through the doorway to catch it. He cast his head back through the opening, a goofy grin plastered on his face.

“Love you too Soph a loaf. Lots and lots.” he gently laughed. “You be good,” he reminded moving into the drawing room.

“And Sophia,” His tone became serious, and resigned. “Let's stay out of the master room.”

[rhywhitefang]

Blank Rune + Inner Shadow characters ranked by how much you can trust them to babysit your children

Mary Poppins is seething in envy:

- Avery; Hugger of children and literal angel. There’s no better option. No, you cannot change my mind. Your children will come back, happy, safe, and goth. They will form an unbreakable bond devils bargain of friendship

- Jademis: Smart, responsible, and nice. What better qualities for someone to take care of your kids? Not only is she capable, she actually cares about doing her job AND she will probably help your kids with their math homework also.

- Coal: Obviously an amazing choice. Not only does he have common sense and makes responsible choices, they are also fun! I can also see Coal really liking kids which makes him great for this.

- Caravel: On her own? God tier, no question. She takes her job incredibly seriously, gets attached to the kids immediately, and will defend them with her life. She will give them great food but also be responsible and also the kids will love her. Her taste in men is not her fault!

- Kester: He is literally a dad. The only reason why he’s ranked lowest in this tier is for slight overprotective tendencies, but you know what? That’s also a good thing. He would also LOVE tormenting your little ones with his dad jokes :)

- Idokras: This is a really protective person who is really enthusiastic and will do anything to keep them safe. Fun, but also strict enough to discipline them without being too harsh. The kids will have a great time!

Great tier:

- Acorn: Nice, smart, and full of great advice. Has kind of a hands-off approach which is why he’s not in the first tier, but overall a very solid choice.

- Fatima: Why is Fatima so low, you ask? She is across both stories the character with the most solid moral compass.She is responsible. She cares about their safety and wants them to be not traumatised. Perfect! But on her own, she is a bit awkward and “no fun” around kids. However!! If Oxyll joins her the pair of them instantly move up to God tier. 

- Astrid: Astrid is amazing! I don’t even have anything negative to say that put her down, she’s all around great! No complaints! Just not so extraordinary as to put her any higher, but if you chose her as your babysitter, your kids will have fun and learn some wilderness skills.

- Soleya: Probably already makes mad cash babysitting. Smart, responsible, snarky. Shame she’s not the biggest fan of children.

- Sora: Sora is a literal angel. An actual disney princess. A precious flower who is soft and nice and will take good care of your children. She can be a bit of a pushover though!

- Rhy: Canonically a great babysitter. Fun, good with children, and just all around a charmer. Maybe not the great role model, but I’ll doubt you’ll have any complaints about him. 

Decent enough:

- Oxyll: Also dad energy, but lesser efficiency than Kester. He’s more oblivious, and way less of a grip on the kids. He’s fine, but definitely not the best. Again, though, if you combine his powers with Fatima, they become god tier together. 

- Skipio: Decent enough, responsible, and will do his damnest to keep your little ruffians out of trouble. He’s gonna be strict with them, too - which is also his downside. Your kids won’t want them back.

- Tave: He’s doing his best! He’s trying! Who knows, maybe he can work himself up the tier list. For now he’s getting an E for effort. 

- Kain: A good boy! He’ll try to look out for them, but also, he’s very stupid, so emphasis on “try”

- Pan: I don’t think he’s really a “kids” kinda guy, and probably won’t know what to do with them. Still, he’ll try his best to keep them alive. 

- Agnes: Honestly, considering the fact that she’s like, what? 14? This is hella impressive. A responsible girl! I’m very proud of her!

- June: Your kids will love her! She’ll let them ride on her motorcycle, stay up past 2 am, and let them eat as many cookies as they want!

Meh Tier

- Lyn Amara: Completely uninterested in your brats. I guess if you paid her, she’d pay attention though. 

- Ash: Can be bribed into doing a good job, and depending on the kid might also grow attached enough to do it out of their own volution, but they might also not bother.

- Blake: He just wants to sit in his barrel, bro.

- Anianno: His honor demands him that he protects him from threats and he’ll definitely run head first at any large animal that tries to attack them. 

- Tilly: Stimulate your childrens creativity! Teach them valuable life lessons! Repeat after me: Murder is okay :)

- Laure: I mean, she *might* sacrifice them to her death cult but I feel like she’d be responsible about it, yaknow?

- Wren: That’s a bit too much responsibility for our anxious little bean. They will try their best though!

You Might as well have left them alone

- Allen: This is the same as leaving them alone.

- Swift: Will probably get distracted & overhwlemed. 

- Copper: Anxious chihuaha. Will cry. 

- Jakob: Oh boy... probably not the greatest idea. I mean, he’ll try his best, but I can’t see this going too well. Maybe they can write sad poetry together?

- Finn: He does nothing for them and might accidentally... drop them.

- Elvin: He’s a baby but at least not actively completely irresponsible, and has some physical capabilities? He’s really dumb tho.

- Phillip: He will ditch them half way through the night to go fight and/or make out with his boyfriend

- Prion: Too busy staring at himself in the mirror.

- Lexa: Herself a baby and also has no concept of fear or danger. Don’t.

- Kyra: Might steal their arms... but eh, too small. 

- Barnacle: Looking at his intentions and general vibe, it’s great! He is a soft cuddly sweetheart, who I can totally see liking children. He’s also a mess and a disaster and a huge pushover. Also, what do kids eat again? Here have some uhhhhhh...... leaves from outside?

Just.... Bad:

- Delta: Do you want your kids babysat by a cat?

- Liam: I mean... look at the job he did with June. He kept her alive and fed, I guess. So, congrats on achieving the bare minimum, but he’s definitely not getting any awards here. And theres you know, him being an evil shithead.

- Midas: As irresponsible as they get and also kind of a shithead. There’s a chance he might use your child as a football. 

- Mikash: He is baby, dont give him this kind of responsibility!

- Arna + Firmin: The irresponsible children squad. Why would you let them babysit your irresponsible children??

- Dareios: Canonical child hater and overall horrible person. The only reason he’s not in the shit tier is that if you payed him, your children will survive. He will treat them horribly though.

KEEP THEM AWAY FROM THE BABIES

- Artemisia: Well she might kill the kids, but unlike the rest of the people in this tier, here your kids might have a chance of survival ‘cause Misi is not that interested in them and might ignore them and do something else instead.

- Rubin: trash garbage man who will misuse your kids as “squires” for his fucked up murder tournaments

- “Ethan”: Almost the absolutel worst option. He is a terrible influence. We remind the reader that when Caravel asked him to get something to eat for the kids, he brought chips and alcohol. Awful role model, and thats not even getting into the fact that he literally murdered the two children in his care. Might not even keep your kids alive if you pay him!

- Esca: No :(

[all1e23]

Chim chimney, Chim Chim Cher-ee [One-Shot]

Summary: Thanksgiving with the Barnes-Roger-Barton Clan. Oh, and Tony. 

Warnings:  FLUFFFFFFF. Hinting at the sexy times. 

A/N: Everyone says they want to see what family dinners are like and I figured the biggest dinner of the year (for us Americas anyway) would be the perfect one to share. This is their first Thanksgiving together so it takes place 4 months chapter 17 in November. If you have not read the series Astrophile, THERE WLL BE MAJOR SPOILERS.  

Catch up on the series here!

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!*

The morning went by fast. Faster than Y/n expected it to. Maybe it’s just that Y/n isn’t used to all this hustle on Thanksgiving. It’s been a long time since she had a Thanksgiving to celebrate with anyone. After her grandparents passed, she stopped cooking as much on the holidays and usually kept the shop open to pass the day. There isn’t much of a point in making some grand meal when it’s only her. 

She does get pie though because it’s pie. 

This year is nothing like she's used to. It started in Bucky’s bed, which isn’t anything new as of late, of course. She has a feeling it will become a permanent move here soon. For now, she’s okay bringing a bag over to spend a few days at a time. This morning though started with lazy kisses and slow touches. Quiet confessions of love, wanton whispers and soft panting that could only be heard by them. 

The slow air of the morning ended not long after Ori flew through the front door with a flurry of excitement at noon, Steve, Sam  and Ollie in tow behind her. After spending the night with her uncles, she was very excited to see her parents this morning. Ori helped Y/n with desserts because that’s the family dinner rules -- whoever hosts only does sweet treats and the turkey. 

About a hundred cookies sit on the counter now because they may have gotten out of control. They do that when they are together. Bucky knows it’s better to stand back and let them do their thing. Meddling never ends well. In hindsight, Y/n probably should have stopped Ori at seventy and skipped the last batch. She looked so cute picking which cutters to use and was so excited to decorate each one Y/n couldn’t tell her to scale her baking back. 

Thankfully Uncle Steve saves the day. 

Un-iced cookies abandoned for another day in favor of playing. Ori is hanging off Steve’s arm, feet hanging several inches off the ground as she stares at the wall of bookcases that hold everything from movies to books to toys and family pictures. She’s mulling over which movie is best for after dinner because that’s tradition, too. 

Everyone eats until they can’t move, and then they can’t move to go home. Clint takes the couch for the night. Sam and Steve bunk in the spare room and Natasha shares Ori’s bed for a night of cuddling.  Which is why Y/n has apple pie and pumpkin cinnamon rolls for the morning and lots of coffee for Clint. 

“This one, Uncle Stevie.” 

Steve grins at his niece and takes Mary Poppins from her hand before she falls off his arm and scoops her up. He boops her nose with his making her giggle and he sighs dramatically, “Now how did I know you were going to pick this one? What if we pick a holiday one, Bucket?” 

Ori thinks for a second, and her eyes light up with an idea. 

“The Santa Clause!” 

Steve grins and trades Mary Poppins for The Santa Clause. 

“That is an excellent choice!”  

Y/n sets her attention back to the pie in front of her -- now that the cookie adventure is over. Thankfully she prepped it yesterday, so it only needs a tweak to the streusel topping and placed in the oven. Bucky’s hand flitters along the edges of her dark blue skirt as he walks by, grazing the backs of her thighs and making her shiver. He smirks and shoots her a quick wink. He’s supposed to be tending to the turkey, not her, and she tells him so. There’s a dark chuckle rumbling through the room filled with more than humor, and it has her toes curling in her boots in want. Bucky abandons his flirting long enough to pull the turkey out of the oven.

Someone has to do the carving, or they will never eat.  

A knock shuts the chatter down a bit. Someone at the door is strange, the whole family is already there. Bucky looks over just in time to see Tony sauntering inside, three white boxes in his hands that he’s quickly passing to Steve.

Perfect. Just perfect. 

“Uh, Beck.” 

“Hm?” 

“What is Tony doing here?” 

Her fingers freeze in the bowl of leftover streusel as Bucky’s arms wrap around her from behind. That deep voice resounds in her ear, and she can’t help but smile. 

“Got somethin’ you need to share, sweetheart?” 

So, she should have told him sooner, but sometimes surprises are good? Er, most of the time. This time they may not be. 

“Okay, I know you guys don’t always get along, but he did throw our daughter a birthday party, and Pepper got stuck at some airport for work, so he was all alone. I couldn’t let him be all alone for Thanksgiving, Buck.” 

Bucky smiles and kisses her cheek, letting his lips linger, and his arms tighten around her -- she’s always going out of her way for others, so why is he surprised it happened today? 

“It’s fine. He’s not so bad.” 

“There is this year’s hosts!” Tony says as he directs Steve where to place the boxes on the dining room table and grins at the couple. It was not that long ago, six months or so, that she was standing next to Tony.  The thought makes her freeze as if Bucky can hear her thoughts. He knows. Everyone knows they dated, but sometimes the reminder is… sobering. The three of them stand in awkward silence. Bucky’s hand still resting on the small of her back.

For an open floor plan, the house feeling very, very small right now. 

Y/n clears her throat and wipes her hands on the constellation towel hanging on the sink next to her. “It’s good to see you, Tony. How is Pepper doing? Did she get a hotel, at least?” 

“Oh, yeah. I made sure Pep is taken care of. She's all set up with room service.”  

The silence returns, and Bucky is about to ask if he can get Tony something to drink because he can’t handle this discomfiture a second longer. He has to do something other than just stand there, and then Tony cuts the tension by being… well, Tony. 

“You know,” Tony chuckles softly and looks at Y/n. “I just realized you’ve seen both of us naked. Talk about awkward. Am I right, big guy?" 

Bucky stiffens next to her and the hand on her lower back twitches. Yes, he knows they dated, and he assumes they were together in that sense; he doesn't want to think about it, and he definitely doesn't want to hear about it from Tony.

"Tony…" 

Y/n leans into Bucky's side and glares at Tony. "I don't think that's really--" 

"Who's bigger, you think?" Tony asks, glancing between Y/n and Bucky. "You know what? Nevermind. The look on your face says it all." 

Tony grabs two un-iced turkey-shaped cookies off the copper baking sheet still resting on the island and saunters back into the kitchen, leaving the couple alone. Y/n sighs and glances at her boyfriend, who is starting at Tony with a look she’s only seen once or twice, and it’s only ever been directed at Tony. 

“I’m going to beat his ass before the night is out.” 

“Buck…” 

“I’m serious, Y/n. I’m finally going to do it. This is my year.” 

She shakes her head, smiling fondly because Bucky is all bark and no bite and places a kiss to his cheek. “Tony is trying to mess with you to get a rise out of you. Besides, weren’t you the one that saw me naked last night?’” 

Bucky’s pout fades into a grin, and he pulls her firmly against him, gripping her chin between his thumb and index finger and locking eyes. 

 “And again, this mornin’.” Bucky reminds her. 

“Yeah, this morning. This morning was…” She tugs on his hair gently and continues in a low, raspy whisper. “Good, but next time let’s try to wake the neighbors.”  

Bucky leans in, so their noses are bumping, and he whispers, “Why don’t you put the sugary pie stuff down and come upstairs for a minute? There’s somethin’ I gotta show you.” 

The exaggerated wink he’s gives her makes her laugh and squirm for a reason she can’t say out loud. 

“Right now?” 

Y/n’s eyes dart out to the group in the living room that is unaware of what the two are discussing next to gingerbread pumpkins. 

“Yeah, right now, Beck.” 

Bucky places a kiss to her cheek, followed by a lighter one to the line of her jaw and one on the corner of her mouth. 

“Y/n?” 

Bucky’s smirk falls at the sound of Ori’s voice, sending the moment to a crashing halt. His head drops onto her shoulder, muffling his groan as Y/n looks down at the little girl. Y/n somehow holds back her chuckle long enough to ask what the she needs. 

“Yes, starlight? What’s up?” 

“Did you really go on a date with Uncle Tony before daddy?” 

Bucky’s head snaps up at Ori’s question. “Uncle Tony? Who the hell--” 

Y/n pinches Bucky’s side, effectively shutting him up, at least in front of Ori.

“Where did you hear that?” 

“Uncle Tony said that he took you on a date, and it was the best one you’ve ever been on. You had cheeseburger and if it wasn’t for him daddy would have never told you he loved you.” 

Bucky starts towards the living room, but Y/n grabs him by the shirt. “Yes, I did, starlight, but I’ll let you in on a secret.” 

Ori’s eyes light up at the promise of a secret, and she steps closer to hear it. 

“I was so in love with your daddy back then no one else stood a chance. Uncle Tony included, and my best date was our trip to the zoo.” Ori grins and waits for the nod meaning she can spill the secret. The second she gets permission, she runs back into the living room to tell Tony what she learned, and they can hear Tony’s laugh followed by a, “You got me there, kiddo.” 

“You were in love with me, huh?” 

Y/n turns her attention back to Bucky, and he’s grinning like an idiot in love. She is too. Her cheeks hurt from the size of her smile. She leans into his Bucky’s arm and gives him a chaste kiss. With the look in Bucky’s eyes, if she gives him more than that, the pie will never make it into the oven. 

“I thought that was pretty obvious by now. It just took me a while to see it.” 

“Pie’s got about 10 minutes after you put it in, right?’ 

“Mmm, about twenty.” 

Bucky hooks his fingers in the belt loops of her skirt walks back towards the half bath next to the laundry. He gently guides her into the tiny bathroom and shuts the door as quietly as he can, so they go unnoticed. Bucky grips her hips and hoists her up onto the sink, swallowing her yelp with a lingering kiss. 

“What are we doing, Buck?” Y/n asks between pecks. 

“Gonna spend a little time kissin’ you. That okay, Beck?” 

“Yeah,” she whimpers when his fingers trail up her inner thigh. “That’s okay.” 

Twenty or minutes pass, and no one has seen or heard from Bucky or Y/n. Steve comes into the kitchen, peeks out the back window. No host or hostess. The turkey is uncarved. The pie is cold on the counter, but everyone’s sides are warming nicely on the stove. 

“Where the hell is Buck?” 

Natasha smirks at Steve’s naivete and nods towards the closed bathroom door where a soft glow pouring out from the crack between the floor.  

“I think they are talking.”

Sam snorts and whispers for the adults in the room, “Making out like a couple of horny teenagers, you mean.” 

“They always like that?” Tony makes a face, and Sam nods, mirroring his disgust. 

“Yeah, it’s gross. All the time, and it’s all I hear about at work.” 

“Well, the pie is cold.” Clint pokes the cold crust with his pinky and pouts. “What are we supposed to do for pie!”

“Relax, Barton. I brought three pies.” 

“Clint…” Sam tugs the foil off the white casserole dish they brought and bends down to sniff the red, brown, and yellow pile of mush. “What the hell did you make?” 

“It’s a cheesy hot dog tater tot casserole!” 

Clint’s grinning from ear to ear, giving off that excited puppy face he has when he tries a new recipe. Tony leans up on his toes to peer over Sam’s shoulder and winces at the pile of slop in filling the 12-inch baking dish. 

“Good God, that looks… I’m gonna level with you. It looks gross, Clint.” 

Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose, takes several deep breaths, and looks at her husband, “I thought we agreed on broccoli casserole? It’s traditional and easy enough for you to make. I deleted Pinterest on your phone for a reason!” 

“Yeah, but then peanut and I went out for lunch that day we watched her, and we got chili cheese dogs, and we both agree they are way better than broccoli.” 

Natasha looks down at Ori, who is holding her hand beaming brightly, and the little girl nods, confirming Clint’s story. “They are, Aunt Nattie.” 

“You’re lucky you’re so cute.” 

“Thanks.” Clint beams proudly. 

“Not you.” Natasha is quick to correct him. “You’re in trouble when we get home.” 

Clint wiggles his brows and wraps his arms around Natasha’s waist, placing a kiss to her cheek and whispers in her ear. “You promise, baby?” 

“Your niece is right there.” Steve scolds with the expression of an exhausted dad who just wants his kids to behave long enough that he can take a nap. He’s just grateful his son is far too little to understand what they are saying and fast asleep in the playpen in the living room.

“It’s bad enough we’ve got those two locked in the bathroom when we should be eating dinner.”

Sam marches to the bathroom and pounds on the door with his fist, quietly shouting through the thin wood frame, “You’ve got two minutes to get your butts out here, or we are eating without you.” 

It takes a few thumps, and lots of giggles, but Bucky and Y/n emerge from the bathroom, clothes rumbled and grinning like teenagers caught getting handsy. Bucky clears his throat and slips his arm around her waist, resting his hand on her stomach. 

“Sorry. There’s a light bulb out, and I need help the screws.” 

“Right,” Y/n nods, fighting off a smile. “The screws are a pain to get off.” 

“I bet those screws can be hard to get off sometimes, huh?” Sam asks, grinning smugly. 

“Maybe everyone should mind their own damn business?” Bucky shoves Sam away without any real force. “Ever think about that?” 

“Daddy?” Bucky looks down at Ori standing next to Natasha, brow raised, waiting for her to continue. “Why are you wearing Y/n’s lipstick?” 

Y/n giggles at the dumbstruck look on his face. She reaches over and swipes her thumb along Bucky’s lip, wiping away bright red lipstick. His cheeks pink when he catches everyone staring their way and the smirk on Natasha’s face. Tony goes to open his mouth, and Beck holds her hand up.

“Let’s go eat, hm? We can deal with the cold pie later.” 

“I told you, the pie is always the one thing that gets ruined. That’s why I come with pie.” 

Plates are grabbed, turkey is being cut as everyone moves about the kitchen in a hustle to grab their favorites; stuffing and rolls and turkey. All taking their respective seats -- the ones that Ori assigned with colorful turkeys she hand-painted with Uncle Stevie. Ori sits between Steve and Tony with Oliver sleeping close by. Sam heading up the table with Natasha and Clint across from Bucky and Y/n. Somehow Clint’s casserole made it to the center of the table for everyone to try despite the attempt to keep it hidden.

Something about sitting down around the table quiets everyone down. No one cares about hot dogs or lipstick stains. Ori’s giggling as Tony tries to get Steve to put a mini marshmallow in his nose. Steve sets Tony with a flat look and a resigned sigh, mumbling, don’t teach my niece to put food in her nose, Tony. Clint is pushing his hot dog mess on Natasha, who takes a scoop hiding a grimace behind her smile. Sam stares at the lump Clint sets on his plate, and Tony asks for a second scoop.  Y/n leans back in her chair and takes in the sight in front of her. 

Bucky leans over and kisses her cheek. “You okay, babydoll?” 

“Yeah,” She sighs happily and leans against his shoulder. “I was just thinking this is a lot different than my last Thanksgiving is all. All the crazy is kind of nice.” 

He grins and wraps his arm around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Yeah, the crazy is good, Beck. It’s all good.” 

“Okay,” Tony silences the table with words that will no doubt be remembered till the end of time. 

“The chili dog casserole is the winner.” 

“Yes! High five peanut!” 

Ori and Clint high-five across the table and Natasha hangs in her hand in her hands.

“Oh, vey!” 

[miguel-manbemel]

Roman’s True Form

This story is out of the main narrative. It was inspired by an idea by @/ErinTeaNTravel on Twitter. Hope you enjoy it.

Patton rose up in Virgil’s room, he was really worried.

“Virgil, can I speak to you?” “What is it, Patton? You look really worried. What’s the matter?” “You see, I’m worried about Roman.” “About Roman? What has that prince done this time?” “Oh, no, it’s nothing of that sort, kiddo, it’s just that… he’s locked himself in his room and doesn’t want to let me in.” “Well, perhaps he needs some privacy, like we all do from time to time. I wouldn’t worry too much about him…” Virgil looks at Patton’s face of concern “…although I suspect there’s more in this story you’re not telling me. What has happened?” “Well, he had an argument with Janus in the living room just yesterday, and they both spit bitter and hurtful remarks to each other.” “Yeah, Janus is just like that, he… wait a minute, you know his name? He told you his name?” “Um, yes, kiddo, at the end of our conversation he revealed his name to us.” “Why would he do that?” Virgil said, talking to himself “What is this snake plotting now…?” “Kiddo, we were talking about Roman, remember?” “Oh, yes, sorry, Patton. Still, I wouldn’t worry much. Janus is all hiss but no bite, and Roman is strong to cope with whatever he told him.” “Even if he compared Roman with his twin brother Remus and said that Roman was the evil twin?” Over hearing that, Virgil showed a face of shock followed by intense fury and anger. He was almost trembling out of wrath and had his fists well tight. “That fiend… how could he use something so low to hurt Roman like that? How did Roman take it?” “Well, he seemed to believe that Thomas and I agreed with Janus, because it was really hard for him to fight tears and… then he questioned if Thomas thought of him as his hero anymore. I tried to reassure him… but he just left to his room and I haven’t been able to talk to him ever since, he just ignores my knocking at the door.” “If I were him, I’d be devastated too. If I know Roman, and after all these years, I think I do, nothing would scare him more than thinking he’s similar to his brother Remus. I’ve said a lot of slights to him just like he did to me, but I’d never punch him in the guts like that. Even I know there’s a line... Oh, if I put my hands on you, Janus, you... you poisonous viper” “What can we do, Virgil? There has to be a way to get to him.” “Well, I could try to break in into his room. I’m Thomas’ Anxiety, no one can escape from me in the Mind Palace if I put my mind into it. I can break any door open in the Mind Palace if I want… Oh, don’t look at me like that, Patton, don’t worry. I’m not interested in your secrets and I would never enter your rooms without your permission, unless there’s an emergency. And this looks like an emergency to me. If you agree, we could check on Roman right now, if you’re ready.” “Would you do that, Virge? I’m so worried about him.” “Then it’s settled. First, I’ll call Logan, I have the suspicion we’ll need him in this situation.” Virgil rises his hand and Logan rises up. “Why do you always have to rise me up like this, always when I’m busy. I was reading the latest edition of the Trivia book…” “You can do that later, Teach, this is an emergency. Something’s wrong with Roman and we’re all going to his room to check on him.” “What do you mean wrong, Virgil?” “We’ll explain on the way. Now, let’s go.” Virgil, Logan and Patton sank down, then rose up at Roman’s door. Virgil knocked at the door. “Roman? It’s me, Virgil, are you there?” “Leave me alone, emo. I just want to be alone!” Roman said at the other Side of the door. His voice sounded sad and stuttering, as if he was crying. “Please, kiddo, open the door, let us in, we just want to talk to you and make sure you’re okay!” “Oh, you’re there too. Begone, Patton. I don’t want to talk to anyone, especially to Janus and you, not after how you… betrayed me.” “Wha…?” Patton started saying, but Logan interrupted him. “Why do you think Patton betrayed you, Roman? Explain, please.” “Oh, great, you’re all there, aren’t you?” Roman’s voice sounded annoyed between the tears “Why don’t you ask the happy papi puffball what happened?” “He told us already, Roman, but we need to hear your version of the story before getting to any fair judgment. So please, open the door.” “I said no! Leave me alone, all of you!” “Well, enough is enough. We’re not gonna leave you like that when it’s clear you’re dying of pain. You guys helped me when I needed you and now that you need us, even if you don’t see it clearly, you’re gonna get our help, by hook or by crook!” “Don’t you dare, Virgil!” “Yes I dare, Roman!” Virgil kicked the door and broke it open. Then the three of them entered Roman’s room. Roman was there on the bed. But they only recognized him by his face (something Sides could do, even when they all had the same face) because the rest of his appearance didn’t look like him at all. He was wearing a dirty white sweatshirt with red shorts and flip flops. All his hair was disheveled and his makeup was all ruined because of the tears he had been shedding for hours. “How dare you enter my room!” Roman said, covering his face with both hands “Go away! Go away now! I don’t want you to see me like this!” “Roman, we’re sorry, but we can’t go away now,” Patton said, almost in tears “much less when we’ve seen you like this.” “Like what, like this outfit? You don’t like it Patton? What am I saying… You don’t care. No ones cares about my appearance, so why should I care about it? I thought…” Roman sobbed before continuing “… I thought I was your best friend… I thought we would always be sidekicks. I always followed your lead and… you abandoned me…” Roman sobbed again “You abandoned me for that slimy snake!” “That’s not true! I would never abandon you and I’m still your best friend! How can you even doubt it?” “Well, when you had to choose a side, no pun intended, it was clear who you chose first, and it wasn’t me. I… I only wanted you to be proud of me… that’s why I followed all your directions about what was good or bad… but now you suddenly changed course and… you left me lost in the dark… I don’t know my way anymore.” “This sounds familiar… it’s almost the same words Thomas said when I told him that I don’t know the way… Last time I made the mistake of making promises I couldn’t keep, and I’m not making the same mistake again. Listen, Roman, I’m already proud of you, and being Janus’ friend doesn’t mean I can’t be your friend too. And… I know you want to follow me, and want me to guide you out of the dark, but, kiddo… I don’t know the way. I’m as lost in the dark as you are.” “Don’t be silly, Patton. You’re Thomas’ morality. You’re supposed to know right and wrong.” “I… I thought I knew. But I was mistaken, and my mistakes almost led Thomas into a breakdown, remember? How can I be any good to guide anyone, when I don’t know which way to go? I… I’m sorry if I made you think that I had abandoned you, it was never my intention, I would never leave your side as long as you needed me. After all these years of friendship, I think you should know.” Roman looked at Patton. Tears were still running down his cheeks. “If we face this together, perhaps we could get out of the dark all together, like the friends we are. Please, Roman, don’t shut us out of your life. You’re important to us. You’re important to me. We all love you. I told you before and I meant it. We. Love. You. Roman. How wouldn’t we… when for all of us… you are our hero. You have always been and forever will be.” Roman showed an emotional smile and he hugged Patton. As he did so, a shining white light surrounded them, a light so bright that made Virgil close his eyes and Logan look away. After a few moments, the light disappeared. Roman and Patton were still there, hugging each other. But Roman was so different. He looked so handsome that Virgil’s and even Logan’s mouths went ajar. He was wearing a white suit with a red vest, white gloves and a shining golden crown on his head with a huge diamond on top of it and a red ruby, an orange garnet, a yellow citrine, a green emerald, a light blue topaz, an indigo tanzanite and a purple amethyst set all around it. After Roman released Patton and Patton saw the change, he went as ajar as the others. “What is this miracle?” Patton said “You look… majestic.” Roman looked at himself and noticed the change. “Oh… I was thinking I had something heavy on my head…” Roman said smiling, still emotional. “It seems you now know my true form… It’s been so long since the last time I sported it… I think I hadn’t worn this outfit since the split… My insecurities wouldn’t let me… because I didn’t think myself worthy of this appearance… but now that you told me all these words of reassurance, Patton…” Roman shed a tear. “Are you crying again, Roman?” Patton said, concerned. “Oh, don’t worry, padre. It’s happy tears. I’m so happy to have you in my life, and so relieved to know you didn’t abandon me… I love you so much, Patton. You will always be my dearest friend in this Mind Palace.” “I love you too, kiddo.” Roman looked at the others and chuckled. “Close your mouths, please, guys, we are not codfishes.” Virgil smiled. “Again quoting Mary Poppins, aren’t we?” “Of course, you know that July Andrews…” “…is a beautiful goddess, yes I remember, Roman.” “Thank you guys. If it wasn’t for you insisting on entering…” “We’re just glad that we could help. And if you want help into kicking that snake’s butt, I’m willing to help too.” “Now that you mention it… I think I was a bit rude with Janus. True that his answer was disproportionate, but I shouldn’t have made fun of his name in the first place. I’ll talk to him later, if he lets me.” “Oh, it won’t be necessary” Logan said, with a suddenly smooth voice. Roman showed himself surprised, but then he chortled after noticing something on Logan’s shirt.

“I was so upset I didn’t notice it. Your logo is on the wrong Side of the shirt. You’ll never learn to make a perfect impersonation of us… will you Janus?” Logan smirked and shaped back into his snake-boy form. “Let it be known that I’m not sorry about anything I said to you.” Janus said. “I meant all these words and you deserved them, each and everyone of them.” “Janus, you can’t fool me. Out of all the things you said, everything are lies… except one thing but you said it thinking it was a lie, when it was true. I did deserve these words, each and everyone of them. I treated you very bad when you were opening to us and I’m sorry.” Roman offered his hand “Could you accept this apology and maybe give me a chance to start over again? Perhaps we could even be friends if you want to.” Janus smirked, trying to act cool, but a tear on his human eye exposed his true feelings. He just kept on smirking and shook Roman’s hand. “I tried to summon Logan” Virgil said coldly “why did you come instead and where is Logan?” “Oh, Logan is fine, Virgil. He’s just doing some clever stuff of his in his room, so I came in his place. We didn’t need to bother him, did we?” “Well, you may have made things up with Roman, and I’m happy for him and his well-being. But you still have a lot to respond to before me. I haven’t forgotten what you did to me, and you’ll need a lot more than a hug to fix that.” Virgil then spoke to the others “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to ruin this mood, but Janus and I have a long story, and it’s not a good one. You are my friends and I won’t mind if you think of him as a friend of yours. But I’m not ready yet to forgive him. I hope you understand. I’m happy to see you’re okay again Roman, I really am. Bye, guys.” Virgil sank down. Janus looked at the empty space, again trying to act cool, but again his human eye betrayed him and showed how upset and sad he was about it. “What did you do to him, Janus?” Roman said. “It’s a long story, Roman, and to be honest for once in my life, I’d rather keep it to myself for the time being.” “As you wish kiddo.” Patton said. “But don’t worry. We are all Sides of Thomas. We are bound to love and understand each other sooner or later, in order to keep Thomas safe and sound. I’m sure you’ll fix your relationship with Virgil someday, you’ll see.” “I don’t care about that. If Virgil doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, it’s his loss, not mine.” Janus said. Roman and Patton’s condescending smiles immediately let him know he didn’t fool them. “Well, guys,” Janus said, nervously “we have wasted enough time already, haven’t we? We have a human to take care of so I propose we start working now.” “You’re right, but first…” Patton said “…a group hug to lift our spirits up.” “Yes, group hug!” Roman said hugging Patton. Then they both looked at Janus. “What? No, I’m not as sappy as you are.” “Yes you are, kiddo, come on…” “We promise not to tell Thomas” Roman said, smirking. “Well, in that case… I suppose I could join you… just because I’m getting cold and I need some body warmth or I’ll catch the flu. Being a cold-blooded snake has its disadvantages, you know...” “Of course, kiddo, of course.” Janus joined the group hug. He tried hard to hide it, but he couldn’t help showing a warm smile when the others wrapped him in their arms.

[angelicspaceprince]

Random Beetlejuice HCs.

Random Beetlejuice headcanons (there are some sad ones about how he died at the end of the SFT stuff, soz all). Also there is some stuff that is AFAB but not AMAB, I’ll work on that later. TW: Suicide, depression, self-harm talk.

SFT:

Is a hand holder. He needs to hold your hand whenever people are around to centre himself but also to show the world that you’re his and to just know that he is loved and to make sure you know you are loved

Really bad social skills and a horrid sense of personal space

Is a literal ball of anxiety and is a stimmer

Rocks in a ball when things ever overwhelming and flaps his hands when nervous

You get him a fidget toy that he uses so much it breaks within a month, so you have a steady supply at hand that he keeps in his pocket always

Is meh on the coffee thing, isn’t a massive tea fan, hot chocolate is where it’s at!

Actually a really good cook? He watches a ton of cooking Youtube videos when you’re away at work or at friends and ends up taking it up as a hobby

Legit cries when you give him his first gift ever because he’s never received a gift before

The first time you go to family Christmas and they give him a present he has to excuse himself because he just starts crying because these people don’t even know him and they got him a present? What the fuck?

Much to your surprise, he takes up knitting?

It’s a nice way to cool his brain and keep focused without disassociating (which he does often) and the bonus is he gets cute socks out of it?

In his mind, it’s a win win situation

Also he can knit dicks to throw at people, that’s just extra awesome

Can play guitar, piano and saxophone. Often likes to sing to you but the content matter of the songs aren’t always loving (mostly about how he wants to pound you)

Actually not a massive fan of horror movies, they’re so unrealistic that it bugs him

Will make sure that you can’t leave his grasp if he needs a cuddle session on the couch because he needs that contact time

Is really sensitive but will make a joke out of it, so half the time you don’t know if he isn’t offended or if he is and he’s just hiding it

You come home one day and suddenly there is just….a dog in your house?

“His name is Sandy, he is a black Labrador and he is our son now.”

Absolutely shocking handwriting. Just. Abysmal. You can’t make it out, so now its just become some weird game of Pictionary whenever he leaves a note for you that isn’t the phrase ‘I love you’.

Is super messy (obviously) but if you tell him to clean up, he will

If you do the dishes together (the only way you can get him to help clean up after cooking), he does the drying up because he does not want to shove his hands into hot soapy water, no thank you

When he dances, its not the timid, shy dancing you see when people aren’t dancing in a group. Its full on, full body, the entire house is his stage kinda dancing. And its arguably pretty good

Even when he gets you to dance what clearly isn’t a proper tango, but it’s fun none the less.

Really sensitive about suicide and self-harm, because he’s been there

Think about it, he was Juno’s assistant (movie, not musical, I know) which means he was a public servant which means he committed suicide

Given the way that everyone who has died carries on how they died into the afterlife through their looks from the moment they died, we can reason that Beetlejuice looks exactly like how he did when he died

The moss and hair and mildew and just the general damp look he seems to carry makes me think that he was either drunk, fell over and drowned in a puddle or lake or it was a calculated move and he killed himself to get away from his mother or just general demons

So yeah, if you self-harm or talk about killing yourself, he takes that very personally because you deserve better than that, and he’ll be damned if you kill yourself on his watch

It takes him a while to admit to you what happened and how he died, and it most definitely happens when you’re both drunk, but you remember what he says and whenever he talks about his childhood because its horrible and always ends with you holding him close because he clearly needs that shit

NSFT

Our boy here is such a switch

There are days where he needs to absolutely dominate the shit out of you, controlling every aspect of what happens, including when, where and how you cum

But sometimes he just needs to be taken care of and to obey every order you give him

Has tried every single kink and only a few of them are a hard no in his books

But if he had to limit it to his top 5-10 they’d be: Mommy/Daddy Kink, Puppy Kink, Cum Inflation (or anything to do with cum really), edge play, cock warming, anything that ends with either of you having a tummy bulge due to a toy, cock or just the sheer amount of cum that’s in you, humiliation, public sex, impact play and adduction/consensual non-consensual play

Rarely asks for you to be a sub for 24 hours, but he’s happy to be in puppy space or in sub space for days or even weeks if you so want or if he needs

Can give himself blowjobs

Also enjoys having his clones get in on the fun and to mess with you throughout the day if he knows he can get away with it

So. Many. Dick. Pics.

Just. Constantly sending you photos of his junk because he can

Sex is rarely serious unless you’re in a scene where that is required. If you two are just fooling around, it’s full of puns and laughter

Wearing stripes turns him on, wearing his clothes even more so

Lingerie to him is wearing his oversized hoodies and a pair of striped panties

Really good at shibari

If you’re in public and aren’t paying attention to him, he will slide a hand up towards your crotch and just push his way inside and start fingering you until you cum as quietly as you possibly can before sucking his fingers clean with a grin because ‘you should have been paying attention’

Massive case filled with toys that seem endless, almost like the perverted version of Mary Poppins’ bag

Likes to put toys in you when he’s in dom mode and make you wear them in public all day whilst he’s at home controlling the vibrator settings, just to see how much you can take

He. Will. Eat. You. Out. And is the king of it. And is proud of that fact

Aftercare is a must between the two of you, and due to his abandonment issues you can’t leave during aftercare time. You can during a scene if you tell him where you’re going and why but afterwards, he needs you there without interruption until he’s fully recovered. Both in dom and sub mode

Safe word is bath, for obvious reasons

You managed to get him in the shower once to tell him it’s a kink of yours to fuck in the shower and he was down for that. Didn’t work a second time, but he got the picture. BATHE

Has, on more than one occasion, made his dick stripy to surprise you and it always ends with you going no. Just no.

Produces an extreme amount of cum, it should be illegal and inhuman, which incidentally, he is

Can make his cock grow, swell, shrink, whatever you need on his command and he loves when he’s being cockwarmed to make his cock grow whenever you shift or move as punishment

Sometimes, in sub space, if he’s feeling needy and you need to work, you get him to sit in your chair and you sit on him. If he moves without warning, you make it to leave but he whines and promises to be good. If he says ‘I just need to adjust’ or whatever, then you won’t move if he starts to shift

IS. INTO. PRAISE. KINK

PRAISE THIS BOY

SO MUCH!

If you praise him well enough in sub space, he will cum without being touched and that, at the end of the day, is the goal

Really fucking low refectory period, like we are talking seconds

He’s not a one go type of guy, if you guys be fucken, you guys be fucken for hours

Has done stretches before sex to make you laugh and roll your eyes

Bought glow in the dark condoms once and surprised you with it

Most of the time, he will hold hands with you in some way as you fuck

Falls asleep within seconds of finishing and holds onto you so tight you can’t escape to pee or do whatever you need to do

Favourite positions: Doggy style, you riding his face or him or up a wall/on a counter

Claims you’re his favourite meal and that he has saved the best seat in the house which is his lap or his face

Most DEFINITELY as left you tied up in a room with a vibe pressed firmly on your clit to see how many times you can cum. He’s just outside the door, you both just like it when he acts as if he has left you alone to ‘suffer’

[gamergirluprising]

Alastor’s Possible Backstory, Emotional, And Mental State.

Okay, so, I find Alastor from Hazbin Hotel one of the few characters that interest me due to his sheer mysterious aura. He has a lot of secrets and I’d like to dissect this man down to his mannerisms, his beliefs, his (low-key/high-key?) pessimistic view of life, and his use of voodoo. I personally am not a fan of the said show since it’s pretty vulgar and hasn’t caught my attention due to the possible problems I see in the show (Why the heck did the God in this universe allow a hierarchy to take place AND give people superpowers by turning them into magical animals and such? Why did he even make a Hell?) 

But anyway, I’m not here to discuss my likes and dislikes about the show, I'm here to discuss the Radio Demon and what could have possibly happened in his life as a child to start this craziness and explain his complex personality, mental state, and emotional state. Alrighty with that being said, LET’S DISSECT!

ＭＥＮＴＡ L~𝓔𝓜𝓞𝓣𝓘𝓞𝓝𝓐𝓛 ~BEGINNING

Dude’s got a mental problem fam, and I'm not saying this just cause this man’s teeth are as yellow as Bill Cipher’s entire existence. No, no, no this man is crazy for not just his unhinged need to see other’s fail and to have utter and complete control(Will tackle later) he’s crazy for his huge narcissistic behavior. Dude, Honestly thinks he’s better than everyone and ONLY allows those he thinks are worthy into his “friend” circle. I quote friend because I’m not too sure how exactly and deeply he feels about Rosie aside from their relationship being like Jack and Mary from Mary Poppins Returns, as stated by Vivzie on twitter. He finds those who don’t always smile as people who are WEAK and LAUGHABLE and regardless of how they are, he still finds them to be weak, which BY GOD is such a flawed way of thinking GEEZ. Now after reading about Alastor and becoming more intrigued, I decided to do research on his behavior and when and how it starts. 

𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐦 has 9 defining traits. I’ll go over a few that I’ve noticed.

1. He really thinks he’s more important than anyone else and has shown this through his mannerisms, the way he speaks, his vibe and just his general character scream “I’m better than you!”

2. HE LOVES SHOWING OFF! Dude can’t seem to get enough of the spotlight, thus why he LOVES to broadcast his carnage on the radio! Why else would he do so!? He finds constant admiration and respect when he does his “little” display of power!

3. Now, we ALL know he has done some pretty...gruesome things to claim strength and be seen as the strongest, even when there are others who are stronger he displays himself as if he is more dominating and wouldn’t waste his time with, how you say, vermin. This is evident by his response to Vox

You can find where I found this here at Faustisse’s cleanup and Inking vid of the upcoming Alastor Comic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_15UYpcWJ_Q

In case it is too hard to read due to the bad quality, Alastor is saying “Show off all that and no cattle.” which is pretty much  “all hat, no cattle” (or, alternately, “big hat, no cattle”) which refers to someone who is all talk with no action, power, or substance behind his/her words. I’d applaud this power move, and still kinda do, if it weren’t for this dudes BIG HEAD lol.

BUT, you get the point, the dude is an egomaniac! “We already knew this, I mean DUH!” you say to me pinching the bridge of your nose. “Why do you point out the obvious?!”

Well, notice how severe and prevalent these traits are. Don’t you find it odd how this dude has SEVERE megalomania? Well, I did research and found out that Narcissism has a very sad connection most of the time and affects males more than females.

at https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/causes-of-npd here’s what I found

Notice the parental factors during early childhood are all abuse-related. This could very well be one, if not the main reason, why Al is the way he is: He was abused as a child! And to make matters worse, as I was looking deeper into this, I noticed that sexual abuse is ANOTHER factor, which would explain why Alastor doesn’t like being touched without consent or by surprise but will GLADLY invade other’s personal space to feel in control (He's a hypocrite like that). Sexual assault victims ALSO don’t like being touched without consent so this just adds more proof to my claim! And serial killers tend to have a rough family life and have been molested, taken advantage of, neglected, or all of the above! 

It’s also come to my attention that Alastor enjoys talking with women more than men for 2 reasons. 1) Alastor finds it easier and more enjoyable to talk with women. 2) He finds men to be dumb brutes at least in hell.

I give COMPLETE CREDIT to @dollymoon

Thank you for the awesome amount of facts you’ve provided! RESPECT! https://www.tumblr/dollymoon

Alastor most likely has a very harsh grudge against the world due to his treatment as a young child. His abuse, and possible loss of his mother growing up, lead to him finding joy in seeing those suffer and fail EVERY SINGLE TIME! Notice the way he talks creepily to Charlie about watching sinners “Repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pits of F A I L U R E.” Look at this man’s face as he’s saying this! The man looks turned on with the VERY fact of people suffering, that’s his kink, y’all, he a damn sadist! (No, being asexual doesn’t mean you can’t have kinks, I’ve checked, lol. Got you fam.) Ima kink shame the hell out of this man (Pun-unintended) 

Ahem, anyway, this dude has got a hate boner for the world and finds relief when exacting pain on others because he feels wronged and feels the world is to blame. He does seem to acknowledge and accept that where he’s at is the end of the road for those who want to change, their chance was when they were alive, and has accepted that this is the natural order of things and they can’t fix that. I had this vibe that he must have gone to church as a kid due to his mom being religious and he loved his mom so he obeyed, Has been stated by Faustisse that he’s a mama’s boy, BUT remember, Vivzie said anything that comes out of HER mouth is what’s canon. Unless she has already stated it as fact any other info can’t be trusted. (Even though this info is PAINSTAKINGLY clear just by him mentioning his mother’s cooking and it just makes too much sense, lol.)

So he must have grown up to be low-key violent but with manners like he practiced being slick and suave in order to trick people into trusting him so that he may kill them without getting caught, which would work perfectly with him not chasing people due to his moral code. He practiced and practiced and seeing as how he was well-off in his later years, I’d assume he started doing his radio schtick when he was in his early 20s or at the age of 18. So he began when the roaring 20s was just starting, a new beginning for him! 

Alastor's name means "he who does not forget", "avenger", "persecutor", "tormenter", "one who suffers from divine vengeance".

(This also makes me think his real name is Alexander/Alexandre since it's the exact opposite of his Hell-Name and more interestingly, in terms of name-giving traditions, between the latter half of the Spanish period (1790-1803) and the beginning of Jim Crow Segregation (1893-1964), gallicized names of classical Greek and Roman origins dominated in Loiusiana. This may be due, in whole, or in part, to the fact that New Orleans had North America’s (excluding Central America and the Caribbean) first Opera Houses and Theatres, owned, frequented and operated by Creoles from Louisiana, Cuba and Saint-Domingue/Haiti. Adonis is my second choice since It literally means "handsome man" and that would totally fit him for his handsomeness to the fact I feel that his mom would def name him this outside of Alexander/Alexandre.) http://www.mylhcv.com/common-creole-names-for-males/

This is a HEAVY hint to what happened in his life and why he’s so drawn to seeing people fail and helps hold my theory together quite a bit, if not a lot. Of all the names to give this dude, he was given a name that legit is on par with the word “Vengeance” and “Avenger”. Vengeance for what? Avenge who? He was wronged. He possibly is angered also by the death of his mother, who was most likely his ONLY ray of light. He is a broken man who most likely has insecurities, based on the info of narcissism which tells us that narcissistic people are the most insecure sorts of people. Alastor is aware of this and sees it as a weakness, something to be culled and hidden from the world never seeing the light of day. His only way of making himself feel stronger and more in control was through voodoo and cannibalism. Many Cannibals believe to be the bees-knees since they go a step FURTHER into crime by devouring their victims and placing themselves into a rank different and more feared by the rest. They see that no one else would even have the balls to attempt to reach that spot, which again leads back to the way Alastor thinks. He just adds oil to the fire when doing voodoo and doing BLOOD RITUALS which you can see him doing when attacking Sir Pentious!  https://twitter.com/hntrgurl13/status/1197918059836690433?s=20

Dude has so much baggage that he hides behind a smile he thinks ALONE brings strength like niBBa are you serious? I’d like to see this man try and say that to the faces of strong people like Superman, Goku, Midoriya, Naruto, Broly, Wonder Woman, GOD. Yo even GOD shows emotions. Wanna know why these beings are strong? It ain’t just cause they smile, Nah, it’s cause they’re determined or the very literal embodiment of determination. they have a damn balance and that strength helps them smile through the pain, they don’t need to exhibit a smile to be strong cause them being themselves and having the strong mentality is what gives them strength, not a damn smile. Watch Charlie hit him with the good old reality check when the man attempts to freaking take over her joint (Both hotel and hell) and she proves strength ain’t just gained through smiling or dominating others. He high-key sounds weak for even having that mindset, only weaklings think like this. He has a very weak view of life which brought forth a monster, or should I say DEMON.

Here’s the info of him not liking being touched.

I’d also like you guys to keep in mind that Vivzie has stated that none of the characters have split personalities, proving Al knows EXACTLY what he's doing.

It’s all them but some have a DUALITY to them. As hinted at by the word "dual" within it, duality refers to having two parts, often(but not always) with opposite meanings, like the duality of good and evil. If there are two sides to a coin, metaphorically speaking, there's a duality. Notice how Alastor also has a duality in him. What kind tho? Remember those shadows that follow him everywhere? Yeah I'm pretty sure those shadows represents his duality in some way, shape, or form.

I also forgot to add that Masochism and Sadism both ALSO stem from the same things Narcissism does or similar things like being sexually abused as a kid. Remember not all cases are the same, I just wanted to put that out there (Not sure If Al is still a Masochist since that’s old info from him being just a deer and liked it when people tried to kill him.)

So in conclusion:

-Dude was possibly abused as a child by his Father

-he hates society/the world due to his terrible child life

-He possibly feels shame for what he has done and thus has accepted his fate

-He loves his mama and MOST LIKELY hates his father who probs is the one who did him a terrible service for just being his father growing up, this would explain his view on men as well

-He also feels shame for being so weak to even allow his father or any male figure to do what they did to him

-Man gets turned on when seeing people like sinners suffer.

KEEP. IN. MIND. None of this excuses his terrible behavior and excuses for being so power-hungry, He’s an interesting character and I love his quirks but he is by no means a victim without faults. He is a product of society and that’s sad but he needs to pay for his horrible actions. Cannibalism is going to far, using you and your victim’s blood for voodoo isn’t excusable, and just killing someone for the sake of vengeance won’t make the pain go away, so nothing he does that involves harming people is cute or a way to suppress his anger, which he’ll have to learn the hard way in this story, I bet. Hopefully, it’s done well cause he’s still very much a bad guy regardless of the fact that he is aiding charlie.

WHEW, that was a long post, one of my longest ones! I really wanted to write out my thoughts on this character cause I’m ALWAYS intrigued by the mystery characters like him withhold. They tend to have hints to their behavior and it was really fun traveling through the possibilities of his nature. I’m probably 100% wrong about all of what I said since I am still not sure about everything and I researched as much as I could. I wouldn’t have had such an easy time if it wasn’t for @dollymoon and their amazing efforts to inform the community, y’all crazy but y’all dedicated so respect. I am not part of the community so I wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint all the info and more. So this is my piece on Alastor the Radio Demon, a.k.a dude who looks like he’s taken ecstasy. 

P.S

-Why is this man wearing a torn up and ragged jacket when he can easily make himself a better freaking jacket? The man wore a one that was fresh as hell during his reprise, so what gives?! and why in God’s name is his damn teeth yellow? How you gonna say “You're never fully dressed without a smile” but got on one of the dirtiest smiles I’ve ever freaking seen? I'd rather not smile and be strong than to wear my clothes at its dirtiest(his smile I mean). Ain’t no way in the fresh hell would I invite an edgy radioman, who I know does voodoo, into my damn house, I am too black/Haitian for that bull.

-Y’all finna tell me why y’all falling for a man who canonically has stank breathe...?

At least clean his damn teeth and give him a mint first, D A M N people!

again, thank you very much @dollymoon

but yeah, that’s my theory y’all, hope you enjoy and sorry for the constant repetition in here! DISSECTION OVER. . .

[jq37]

[obligatory recap ask]

**spoilers for subway skirmish and borough of dreams**

@kickmuncher3 and @galfast: ty for your asks, I’ll use them for the next two recaps. this is probably the least efficient way for me to handle this but I want to keep all of these visually consistent dammit. 

One of the funniest things about this season of D20 is most if not all of the cast has lived in NYC which manifests as very specific references and in character complaints that you just know come from a place of truth and experience. Which is to say we got a lot of that in these episodes.  

Also, this has nothing to do with anything but living in NY update: On Sunday, I saw a man hanging upside-down from a tree--by his feet--and playing the flute. And barely anyone registered it at all. So I really cannot stress enough how much New York is Like That.

Pete opening the fight by blasting a fireball and then telepathically calling out Kingston is--como se dice--a Power Move.

Brennan *immediately* channels the opposite of whatever energy Emily's on and goes right for Ricky's dog to the horror of everyone at the table and his absolute delight. Like, it's a spectral dog but still. Bro. Dog. 

Kingston taking the heat metal damage to get Epona to drop him is so raw. But then, for the rest of the fight, he doesn't say a single thing except for his Command spells which is a very different kind of raw. 

Question: Is Riz's mom the only good cop that exists in D20?

I know this was an RP ep and I know they knew it was gonna be an RP ep but I wonder what would have happened if they had pretended to cooperate with Epona to get more info. Probably just an extended RP ep that would have segued into this same fight eventually. But I'm curious about what information they let get eaten by a swarm of rats.

Misty's Irresistible Dance spell is very clutch. 

The gators from the last fight are back in the form of Kug's summons and one of them still has a grudge against Misty. Misty is all, "send me your resume!" because she appreciates the spunk. I was starting a sentence about what the hell play this sentient gator is going to be in but as soon as I hypothetically asked it my brain was like, "Peter Pan. Next question."

Y'all, this really was Kug's fight. Between calling the roaches, crocs, and gators, channeling Moonshine to call lightning, and killing Epona within 40 mins of the ep, he truly was on fire. Good for him. He also turns into a bear but specifically a bear that would have escaped from the zoo. It's the little details that make this show great. 

Brennan putting his foot down on tying rats together not being acrobatics is the eternal DM mood. 

Back to Epona for a second, do we think she was working for Robert directly? Someone connected to him? Something else? When her shadow split after Ricky's attack was that meaningful or just flavor? Where did that badge come from? Has it always existed? What does destroying it mean? It didn't seem to help. The bad cop ghosts were still around, just no one could control them at that point. If they had yoinked that badge, could they have had a summoning item that hey could use? Or is it bad karma to use something like that? Is it still bad if you're forcing the bad cops to do good stuff? Did Brennan anticipate this or is the Coach Daybreak 2: Electric Boogaloo? Lots of questions.

Misty's cutting words to the cop (saving Ricky) making the Law and Order "DUN DUN" noise is great. 

Emily ends up not needing to roll to make rat nunchucks because her health goes low enough that her magic ring activates but I feel like she low key wanted rat nunchucks. 

Wild that Kingston went down for just long enough for it to be cinematic before being revived by Misty ("Get up, old man,")

Also wild that this whole fight only took about 45 seconds of in game time. It makes sense if you think about it the way you would a movie and that's how most D&D fights are but that's so much play time for so little game time and it hit me this ep because I was actually keeping track of rounds. 

Anyway, I have not mentioned up until this point that the whole crux of this fight is to last long enough for Alejandro to roll high enough to summon the train to Nod but, long story short, Pizza Rat shows up to save the day. Does that make more sense in context? Marginally. 

I like that the train to Nod shows up on the wrong side of the tracks. Like I said, man. Details. 

Oh and to my above point about the cast making comments about NY as people who have lived in NY, I loved Brennan looking directly at the camera when he was going off on people who just stand at the door like idiots while you're trying to get in and then Siobhan pokes like half her head into frame so she can also stare directly into the camera. Mood.

When Ally said Pete shoots Kingston I half believed it for a good couple of seconds. I was right there with Lou. 

OK, so I don't know how many of you have watched Sharkboy and Lavagirl (and, if you haven't feel free to skip this bullet) but no movie has brought me more enjoyment overall than SB&LG. Not because it's good because it's not. But it's so insane that it's amazing. It's right in the sweet spot. I always say, if it was any better, it would be Spy Kids 3 and, therefore, unwatchable (SK 1 + 2 are dope as hell though, for the record). I bring it up because the way Brennan describes Nod reminds me a lot of Drool in SB&LG. Like, the rollercoaster subway car def could be in the same universe as the Train of Thought. This is all to say that I think Brennan could have written a version of SB&LG that was better without being worse. Idk if that comes across as complimentary, but it is, and to both parties actually. 

From the way Nod (the kid) is being framed (in this ep and the next) I know we're not supposed to mistrust him but, put in that situation, there is no way I would trust the gray faced, black eyed, creepily gliding dream child. 

Post fight, Kingston wants to offer an apology for what he said about Pete and Nod wants to apologize for putting Pete in his current situation. Also, the group decides to be more open in general. Kug, as most of us guessed, got beauty and the beasted for white collar crime by his business partner (Gabby) who is Esther's mom and a witch (also, Ricky thinks his crush on Esther is a secret which is just adorable and completely incorrect).  

Brennan cuts sharing time off because this is the combat episode dammit! Save it for next session. But, because I'm behind, next session is now! Let's get into The Borough of Dreams.

Misty, as a faerie, is instinctively mistrustful of vising other magical worlds and eating the food or taking things at face value. I love that she's playing a character where she can ask these questions and not be meta-gaming because I had some of the same concerns. 

Wildly, WALLY walks out of the train as he just happened to be on it (as conductor) at the time. Kug bursts out with the fact that he's his dad and Wally takes this to mean that Rat Jesus is his bio dad but, even after being left alone for so many years, he claims Bruce as his real dad. He's wrong but he's sweet. 

"I thought you were mad at me." Brennan, you didn't have to do that.

Murph clearly trying to not accidentally call Wally a piece of shit because that's his go to Kug way to describe things is so funny.

"We could turn me into a rat." WALLY

Kingston and Misty looking at each other like, "These absolute children," while Pete and Soph are making Brittney Spears references. 

So we find out what all of the magic stuff they picked up does. Misty's mirror can see invisibility. Pete's grill helps with persuasion. The thousand hour energy makes you immune to sleep for 42 days(!) The bagel can be used for divination or to essentially kill a person but spread their essence throughout the universe  (which low key sounds like a sacrifice someone might make to help cancel the spread of say an undead presence or a money virus). 

I want Ricky and Wally to be friends forever. 

Kingston's lack of connection to the dream world is so sad. Like, he's no nonsense but he's like NO NONSENSE. Like no nonsense possible. So he's just walking around like Eddie Valiant in Toontown. 

And, at the same time, the rest of the party is doing the MOST nonsense. Mary Poppins-ing into the sky. Misty is making out with the moon. Wild. 

SOBER SALAD

Ally drops the ketamine on the tomatoes line and Brennan fully breaks

Very sweet for Pete to bring Kingston a salad, even though that's such a random food to just have in your pocket(???). Why does salad keep coming up on this show? One more time and it's officially a motif.

So the dream world basically works on Sharkboy and Lavagirl/Xanth/Phantom Tollbooth/Wonderland/Toontown logic. If you've seen/read any of those, you basically have it down. 

"Only people with Sprint have service."/"Oh, amazing!" Brennan threw that softball out for anyone who wanted it and Emily, as usual, hit it out of the park.

Brennan very clearly knows his NY history. The mob boss (lucky Luciano, no not that one) that he mentioned during the sleeping with the fishes bit is a real dude and basically the dude who brought organized crime to the US (in the form we know it now). 

Ricky and the mints. Lord.

Anyway, the one item I didn't mention earlier is the holy grail detergent which can literally clean souls. Which sounds mighty interesting considering some of the other stuff that's come up this campaign. 

(Also, I wonder if you could use the bagel as spell components since it contains everything in the universe in microcosm).

I can't believe Pete was the one saying, "At least eat before you shotgun that 1000 hour energy." By the by, the 42 hour span of the energy drink makes me suspicious. Is that just for humor (and accurate math) or it this a Chekov's Gun kind of an item indicating some kind of time jump at some point? Ricky drinks it later in this ep so, if there's a clock attached to that, it's ticking. I'm prob reading into this but I assume if you're still reading these, this is what you're here for. 

Ally making sawing motions before being told an egg creme has nothing to do with eggs and is in fact a drink.

Pete! OK, so Pete has made some good steps in this ep, starting with promising to start reining in the drug usage. Later he works on his magic and also gets over Priya. This is the most endeared I've been to him all season. Especially his, "I try to do a good job," line. I felt that. 

"It's still open to you." Aw.

Brennan clearly saw the chance for a lore drop this ep and boy did it drop. Let's run through the highlights.

Nod dumped all this on Pete the way they did because it's super super hard to contact a Vox Phantasmus beforehand due the the natural, waking world inclination to brush off dreams. You have to have the job before you can talk to the boss. Cruddy system but that's how it goes. 

When Sophie said the thing about Robert Moses creating spaces that can't be accessed she meant by magic but it's an interesting way to phrase it because the irl Robert Moses is known for (allegedly, but like, it tracks) trying to keep black people out of certain spaces. 

Robert Moses sold his soul to Hell and Faerie which is why he's still alive it seems. No one wants to collect on his soul and anger the other party.

Whoever predicted that the golden door for Emma Laz's poem was the rectangle from episode one, collect your prize because it's confirmed in this ep. 

We learn about the ephemeral axiom which basically says, a dream can be all things but once it manifests, it's a single thing. (you might even say, "it is what it is".)

So another big thing we learn is that if a dream gets so big that manifesting them in the real world would break the game, it's called a Paragon. There are four total: Heaven, Hell, Faerie, and The American Dream. (Wild that The American Dream is the only country specific one that exists. Like, I rep my home team of course but the U.S. is a pretty latecomer to the country party. You'd think someone else might have gotten Paragon status at some point.)

"Was one of them the Grand Canyon?"

Anyway, dragging the American Dream into the waking world would fix the American Dream to mean one thing--I assume making tons of money if Robert Moses has his way. I'll admit, I was a  little fuzzy on the mechanics of this on my first watch-through because pulling the American Dream into the real world sounds like it should be a good thing. But I think, at the most basic level, it's a matter of you shouldn't put magic that shouldn't be in a box in a box. I'm still wondering about the exact implications for the waking world if he succeeds though. Like, how would that manifest? Would everyone suddenly become money hungry (lol, how would you tell)? Would people still want what they want but the American Dream would just be understood to mean making stacks and none of the good Superman-y stuff?

"It's not Protestant work ethic is it?"

Robert Moses is undead and can't get into Nod, so those are good things to note. 

I was so ready for Wally is get dispelled and for him to be a figment of Kug’s imagination or a dream or something. I braced myself so much. I was ready to set up a firing squad for Brennan for doing that to Kug.  

Who tipped the bugsters off to where Pete was gonna be? As far as I can tell, the only people that knew were the gang plus Alejandro and Esther. Maybe someone was scrying on them and that’s what the roll Zac failed during the wedding ep was. 

As soon as Brennan mentions locking the door, Ally immediately makes the connection and goes, "Key to the city." Nod "locks" the American Dream and gets rid of the lock which seems to mean the American Dream is temporarily unavailable. Which seems not good and like it's gonna have collateral damage for sure but I guess you bad is a matter of degrees and Robert getting in would be worse. But still, imagine your immigration papers get declined because some random kid decided to close down the American Dream for a couple of days. 

So, we get some backstory of Misty. She apparently just was straight up not having a good time in Faerie so she stole Titania's shoes (allowing her to be in iron-filled NYC without triggering her fairy vulnerability) and peaced out. 

"She's gonna kill you."/"Only if she can get here and I have her Goddamn shoes." (**A million airhorns in the distance**)

I love that Emily is still on the souls thing. Emily doesn't believe in Occam's Razor. In fact, I'd like to propose a corollary called the Axford Axiom: The coolest path between two points probably isn't the correct one, but it should be! I want her to run a campaign so bad so I can see her be in a game where her crazy endgame is what's going on because she's the one who wrote it. 

Misty: Let's go to hell!

So much like a videogame, the map has opened up and we have three places to check out. The former locations in the dream world of Faerie (Carnagie Hall), Heaven (JFK airport), and Hell (where do you think? Hell's Kitchen). The gang splits up to look for clues (and drinks, in Misty's case). Actually, make that four places: Pete goes to the Met Museum of Memories to basically Avatar mind meld with the other Voxes and get a handle on his magic to a degree (thank God--Nod?). We'll take these in order of appearance, which means we're off to Hell with Kug and Ricky (plus Ox and Wally).

(Focus on the Pizza, baby!)

At first I wanted Ricky, the good boy, to go to Heaven, but the idea of a firefighter in Hell also has appeal. 

Re The rat holding his guts: Gross. 

Ricky holding his axe like a cell phone.

So we and Kug learn that the rat-spell that was cast on him wasn't actually a rat-spell. It was a spell that would make his outsides reflect his insides and his insides happened to suck. I'm wondering if that means that it's a static spell that reflects his outsides at the time it was cast and it would need to be recast to reflect any moral progress made or if it will just revert him once he's made enough progress. 

I'm also wondering (partially bc one of my players asked to do this last session) can a Druid wildshape into a person? I feel like no, but like, did any of you ever read Animorphs? You know how in book 1 Tobias gets stuck as a red-tailed-hawk but then later her gets his morphing ability back and then he can turn back into his human form for 2 hours at a time? What if Kug just started doing that? Just being a rat who is sometimes a dude. 

They also go to the statue of liberty (which has a French accent, natch) who shows them that there's, like, a money/greed virus infecting the Dreaming and the American Dream. Ricky smells undeath again. They think vampires. That's plausible but I'm not sure. 

OK, Heaven. 

WHOOOO, strap in y'all

(Sidenote: I wonder what would have happened if Soph hadn't chose to go to heaven. I feel like she could have easily run into you know who in hell had she chose to go there, but I'm getting ahead of myself).

Brennan actually tries to lead Emily into the thinking about Dale mindset but Emily, having reached a note of closure in Soph's character arc, pushes back on that.

honeyougotastormcoming.gif

Brennan,about to wreck her entire life: Cool.

I and the cast keep saying heaven a lot but it's like an all roads lead to Rome situation. It's heaven, Valhalla, Elysium, nirvana. Like, whatever Good Place you believe in. It's the Good Place. 

Sophie, upon being told that if she jumps into the fight at the Pearly Gates she knows nothing about, she might literally die: And what about it?

Emily's face when Brennan says, "And you see Dale," is so much. You can see the entire range of human emotion in her eyes in that moment.

Sidenote: I wonder how much of her backstory Emily planned and how much Brennan dropped on her. Like, she knew Isabella was part of her backstory obv. Did Brennan come up with all of this whole-cloth or did she say she wanted there to be something supernatural and and let him fill in the details. Very curious about the collaborative process.  

 When Dale's character art comes up, it says "Sophie's Angel" for Dale's descriptor so where I thought we were going was that Dale was Sophie's Guardian Angel who wasn't supposed to be romantically involved with her and the reason he was gone is that he was forcibly brought back to heaven. But that may be because I recently watched this.

Dale, is upsettingly sweet with Sophie, calls her "sweetie" the entire time they're together, fights a ton of angels to get to her, and says he got her text message. Emily is about to cry. *I'm* about to cry. I'm sure the only reason Brennan isn't fistpumping is because he needs to stay in character. 

Dale gives this cryptic piece of advice before he is dragged off by angel guards: When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like, but there is someone there.

Emily, of course: I fight the angels.

The angels, hilariously, don't take it personally that she's fighting them--and very well, but not well enough to beat a nat 20. Sometimes the dice are spooky in tune with the story.

"He's got a job to do here. Who's gonna watch the deer?"

Dale also tells Soph to tell Jackson he said hi which is interesting to say the least. 

Emily gets two very dope lines in a row:

"Let me hold your hand through this Alejandro."

"I'm gonna kill her. And I don't think she's going to the great big airport in Brooklyn."

That's it for her for now, but let's put a pin in that for now and come back to it after we check in with the others. 

Siobhan and Kingston are at the former spot of Faerie, the Glamour Bar.

Zac jokingly (I think) guessing Dr. Doolittle as the thing Siobhan can't remember when she says Eliza Doolittle is so funny. 

Also, her terrible cockney British accent on top of her actual British accent is great.

I love that the two actual Real Adults are the ones who go and get wasted mid-mission. 

Brennan introduces "Bobby Goodfellow" and it takes Siobhan exactly four seconds after Brennan finishes the word "Goodfellow" to be like, "It's Puck." She knew and she knew her character would know it and she hardcore pounced.  

I meant to mention this before but it's super funny that Kingston has been around the magical block but there's still so much he doesn't know. He was surprised by a bunch of stuff in this ep that I'd think he would know about (like the Midsummer's faeries being real) but nah. He's like, "This is my specific brand of magic nonsense. That's what I know about. I don't mess around with any of *that* stuff. I stay in my lane. I stay in my city."

Ty Brennan for teaching me how to pronounce sláinte. This is the first time I'm hearing it out loud. 

I love his Puck voice. Like, the little British street urchin voice.  

No big surprise, Puck sent the mirror on the order of Oberon and Titania (who are not back together but are knocking boots according to him). 

Puck warns Misty, "The world of mortals is not long for this world," and follows it up with a seemingly sincere, "Come home. We miss you," which is an interesting thing to say after announcing that Titania is gunning for her. Who is this we, Puck? Your boss wants to bodyslam her!

Also, what do the faeries know that they're not saying? All of them in the bar seemed to know something was off but none of them said anything and Puck didn't elaborate. 

I've always liked the trope of the person from the otherworldly, magical or super advanced being like, "Idk what you're talking about. Humans are great!" because it's the opposite of the snooty elf/vulcan/whatever trope that I really can't stand. Misty showed shades of that in this conversation but I feel like there's still so much that we're missing in her backstory and I wanna know what it is.  

(Also, this is prob just me being a little pepe silvia but I would be very unsurprised if Misty got an opportunity to betray the party at some point. Don't @ me. It's just something I could see myself offering to a player for the drama of it all). 

Anyway, Kingston is extremely uncomfortable in the bar and makes a hasty exit so let's go to the museum with Pete and Nod.

Ally jumps onto the, "Suggested donations are for suckers" train w/ Siobhan. 

Turns out, Pete f'd up Robert up so much that he has kind of a brain link with him. I wonder how long that's gonna last. 

Pete gets proficiency in arcana and a choice between lesseing wild magic surges or gaining some control over them (2 wild magic rolls on a fail and ally gets to choose which effect takes place). Obv the second one is more fun rp-wise so that's what Ally picks.

It's a memory museum so OF COURSE he gets a chance to look at the memories of the rest of the party. But it's getting late so he only has a chance to check on one person's memories. He, naturally, picks Kingston. Makes perfect sense from an RP perspective but out of character I feel like Misty is the most closed book of the party. 

Pete sees Kingston's life from his childhood to the present (Brennan puts Lou on the spot to do some improv...I mean beyond the improv they're already doing) and it's about what you would expect based on what we know about Kingston but it's very beautifully described (sidenote: did any of y'all ever watch the life and times of juniper lee? where she can't leave the city bc she's like the buffy of that world? I really felt shades of that, except more self imposed).

During that montage, a character is like, "You could make hundreds of millions of dollars--I mean, I'm exaggerating," (s/t like that) and I'm not gonna go back and check but I feel like Brennan (or maybe Lou) made almost exactly the same comment in the first ep of this season in a very similar context.

Oh, also, Kingston gets dubbed Vox Populi by a dragon on Bleecker Street in case you were wondering about logistics. 

Again, Nod says that inviting Liz into his life was basically dooming Liz to be stuck dealing with the Unsleeping City but I feel like unless you have a Vox position or something similar you should be able to, like, opt out. So what you need to ignore some weird stuff day to day? May I direct you to my earlier anecdote about the flute dude in the tree. New Yorkers are good at that. And if she moved away, would it even be an issue?

Actually, that raises another question. Is NY the only place where magic is happening? It can't be because Santa is doing his thing at the North Pole. And NY has the Umbral Arcana which shields magic from muggles. Does that mean that elsewhere, magic just isn't hidden? I'm guessing that works because the bulk of magical happenings are happening in NY. Which, again, if so, couldn't Liz just move if she really wanted to? Or is she actually being *kept* there? 

Ahhhhh, that argument scene with Kingston and Liz. Ow. 

Robert's subconscious is heckling Kingston's memories the entire time. 

The party gets back together, Pete immediately lets Kingston know he was memory spying on him and hugs him (while Misty is drunk a singing over him). Their rift literally caused a kind of rift in NYC which is now healed (which causes Sophie to see the Unsleeping City/Dreaming Yin-Yang sign over their heads).

 Ricky drinks the 1000 hr energy so start the clock I guess. 

Misty, upon hearing that Dale is dead basically does that John Mulaney bit: Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like [s]he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you. 

It's the day of Priya's art show which I totally forgot was happening. Before that, Sophie finally goes to see her brother and we can return back to that pin I mentioned earlier.

(Also, it’s the 20th which means we’re getting really close to Christmas)

He says that their family got mixed up with the Confettis and they've been helping to launder magical items that Confetti is paying some rep from Hell (an associate of Robert's).

And by, "Some rep from hell," I mean Isabella Infierno specifically.

Emily, hilariously riffs for a while about how small it was of her to call Isabella a succubus even though she clearly knows at this point that Isabella is some kind of demon. I mean...Infierno. Come on. 

Sidenote: Which demon actually trying to be subtle would pick the last name Infierno? You wanna blow your cover for the aesthetic that bad?

Emily goes, "Oh my (beat) Nod," which I think is the exact way she dropped the first, "Oh Melora," in one of the first eps of Naddpod. 

Anyway, it turns out that Soph's family knew that Isabella was gunning for Dale (he was getting close to realizing something shady was going on) and, while they didn't call the shot, they let it happen.

Oh! He also says Dale was a chosen one from "some monastery" which, of course, fits in with Dale's comment about saying hi to Jackson. Now I'm wondering if his other comment--about there seeming like there's nothing at the top--is about whatever chosen one test he had to take to get the position to begin with. And maybe he was giving a clue to Sophie so that when she takes it, she'll for sure pass and get whatever dope powers or weapons or privileges come with the position. 

"The only reason I'm not going to go after you right now is because I'm not organized enough to give you the fucking revenge you deserve." Soph is cold as ice after hearing about what her family did. 

"Maybe you should have said that to Isabella before she went after me." Another mic drop line from Emily. This really was her episode. You can really see Emily channeling hr genuine emotional reactions into her character.  

La Gran Gata shows up to let Soph know she has her back to hunt down Isabella. The only other warlocks really seen played are Fjord on CritRole and Leiland on Bloodkeep so it's wild to see a character with such a chill relationship with their patron.

So, Priya's art show. They show up (to a distressingly unsafe building from Ricky's perspective) and it turns out, not only is it performance art (the worst kind) Pete *is* the art.

"I present to all of you: cruelty, a exploration of a relationship. Peter, take my hand."

major barf.

Pete goes OFF

Kingston: Picasso is art, this is bullshit!

Siobhan: Her last name is Danger? I hate this bitch.

Pete gets over Priya instantly which totally tracks because, like I said, barf. 

Sophie stealing Ricky's thing and rooftop jumping. Zac narrows his eyes when she says that.

I love Isabella's title card. It says, "Literal Succubus". It reminds me of the funniest scene in Bedazzled when the Devil (Liz Hurley) gives Brendan Frasier her business card and it just says, "The Devil".

But she's here and she's here to fight! I'm so excited for this one y'all! Unsafe building. Lots of civilians. Sophie (and Emily) going totally feral. I haven’t looked forward to a fight this much since Adaine went for Aelwen. Let's gooooo!

[linmanwe11]

Best FaceTime Ever

Pairing: Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader

Warnings: Just smut really

Words: 1,543 words (oof)

Summary: Your husband, Lin-Manuel Miranda, has been on a press tour for his new movie, Mary Poppins Returns. With one lonely night and one FaceTime call, you show him just how much you’ve missed him, and he does the same.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(this was based off of these two photos because i mean, just look at how hot he looks dkdkskdks)

[Y/N]’s P.O.V.

Lin had been going from state to state, country to country, continent to continent as press tours began for Mary Poppins Returns. Due to your job, you were unable to go with him, so that meant that you would have to spend a month alone in your New York home without your husband. Though you were insanely proud of him and over the moon excited for this movie was his big break for Hollywood, you couldn’t help but feel just a tiny bit selfish in that you were wishing that he was home with you and not away from you.

He had been giving you constant updates about his trip and you would, for the most part, end the day with a FaceTime from Lin, falling asleep to him singing softly to you in Spanish, one of your favorite parts of your relationship. To say you missed him was an understatement- not only did you miss having him around, you also missed the feeling of him. The way he kissed you, the way he would hold you so close to him when you would sleep, and especially the way he felt…

 As you laid in bed, you sighed to yourself as you thought about the last time you and Lin had sex- right before he left for the press tours- and how amazing it was, how amazing he made you feel. You smirked to yourself as an idea emerged before you stood up from your bed, changed into a lacy black lingerie underwear set- Lin’s favorite- then slipped on one of his T-Shirts. Settling back into bed, you grabbed your phone, you scrolled to Lin’s contact and pressed the FaceTime icon. He picked up almost immediately.

 “[Y/N]! Hi baby!”

Lin exclaimed, flashing you his dazzling smile at the camera. You blushed when you saw his eyes light up at the sight of you, then you blushed even more when noticed what he was wearing- an orange, long-sleeve turtle neck with a black coat to go over it.

Damn, Stacy London really knows what she’s doing.

You thought to yourself 

“Hey honey, how’s your day been?”

“It’s been good! I miss you though…”

“I miss you too, Lin… Like, so fucking much.”

“What are you up to?”

“Nothing, I’m just laying here… In bed… wearing one of your t-shirts…”

You trailed off, hoping he would catch on to where you were headed with this FaceTime call. Luckily, you saw his facial expression change from loving and cute to lustful and sexy- much like you remember him before he left. As he continued to stare at you on his screen, he felt himself begin to harden as he pictured you in bed, wearing his t-shirt and nothing else but your underwear. Lin cleared his throat slightly and you smirked to yourself as you began to slowly trail your hands down your body, giving Lin the sultriest look as you could.

“[Y/N], I’m about to go do another interview in about an hour and I can’t go out there like thi- “

“Shh, Lin, I just miss you so much. I can’t stop thinking about how you made me feel before you left. You always make me feel so amazing, but that time you just- fuck, you made me feel so good, right here in this bed…”

“God, if I were home with you right now, I would not let you leave that bed. I miss you too, baby. I just wanna- ahh- I need you so bad. I need to kiss and feel you so bad, mami.”

You felt a jolt go through your body as he finished his sentence. He knew what calling you that nickname did to you, and he definitely planned on using it to his advantage. Biting your lip, you SLOWLY began taking off the shirt you were wearing, revealing your lingerie. As his eyes landed on your chest, he bit his lip, eyes full of need, allowing you to take the perfect screen capture of him. You looked at him through your phone as saw him take a deep, shaky breath as he went to grab his earphones, knowing exactly how this phone call was going to end. He closed his door then locked it before he sat down in his chair, lazily palming himself through his pants, watching you as you set your phone down to where he could see your whole body as he did the same, allowing you to watch him as he continued to palm himself, the bulge of his erection beginning to become more and more prominent.

“Fuck, baby, you look so good. Touch yourself, mi amor, I want you to tell me how wet you are for me.”

“God, Lin, I’m so wet for you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you- how good you feel inside of me… Fuck, papi…”

He groaned as he unzipped his pants, pushing them down his legs along with his boxers, freeing his thick cock as it was prominently standing to attention, precum already coating the tip. He then removed the black coat he was wearing, knowing that he was about to get a little hot. As you sat back and opened your legs, you teased yourself through your panties, breathing labored as you watched him watch you through the camera as he began to slowly stroke his cock with his strong hand. After a minute, you slipped your panties off of your legs, exposing yourself to Lin as he stared at you in awe, his mouth slightly opened as he saw how wet you were.

“Damn, mami… You’re so wet, huh? You really do miss me… Fuck, if only you could feel how hard I am.”

“Papi, I need you so bad, I’ve been so lonely without you here, I’ve had to take care of myself while you’ve been gone.”

“Were you thinking about me when you touched yourself, baby girl?”

“Of course, papi. Fuck, just looking at your cock makes me need you so much more- you’re so hard for me, papi.”

“I am… I want you to finger yourself, baby… I want to hear you moan for me, I want to see you cum for me. Fuck, cum for me, baby.”

As soon as Lin asked, you rubbed your clit, then inserted two fingers into yourself, gasping as you imagined Lin’s fingers inside of you, not your own, hitting the spot that left you breathless. When Lin began jerking his cock faster, you used one hand to rub circles around your clit and the other to finger yourself, your hips bucking back and forth as you and Lin both listened to each other’s moans, both of you desperate for release- desperate for each other.

“Oh, fuck, papi! I’m so- fuck- so fucking close. Sh-shit, Lin, I need your cock so bad, baby. I need you so bad.”

You moaned as you threw your head back, moaning and gasping as you neared your release. Lin’s breathing began speeding up, and he began cursing in Spanish, which was a signal to you that he was close.

“Fuck, [Y/N]- baby, mami, I- You’re so fucking sexy, baby. Ah, shit… I’m gonna- look at me, baby. Look at me, and cum for me baby. Fuck, scream for me.”

You looked at your screen, seeing his hand jerking his cock faster now as he spoke to you. You bit your lip, then moaned out as your orgasm crashed over you, almost screaming in pure pleasure at the top of it as you imagined Lin being there with you instead of on FaceTime.

“Oh fuck! Lin! Papi, I- I’m cumming! I’m cumming for you, papi!”

“Yes, yes, baby, that’s it. Cum for me- cum for papi.”

As your moans began to subside, you looked to see Lin biting his lip, his nose scrunched up, and his eyebrows furrowed together as he moaned as quietly as he could, knowing that there could possibly be people nearby. Breathless, you coaxed him toward his finish, encouraging him just as he did for you.

“Cum for me, Lin. Please, papi, I need you. I need your cock, I need your cum. Cum for me, papi.”

As his orgasm hit, he gasped at the top of it then let out a low groan as he stroked himself through his finish. You both sat there just looking at each other, breathless and completely satisfied. He smiled at you and you smiled back as you watched Lin wipe off some sweat that was on his forehead with his clean hand. You did the same as you saw him reach over to grab a towel and clean off his hand.

“Damn, I miss you so much, [Y/N].”

He said as you both let out small, blushful giggles.

“Yeah, I miss you too, Lin.”

“I promise, I’ll be home soon, and as soon as I’m home…”

He trailed off, but you knew exactly what he meant.

“God, yes.”

“Haha, alright baby, I gotta go. Call me in the morning?”

“Definitely. Goodnight, Lin. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, mi amor. This was the best FaceTime call ever. Sleep well, mami.”

He said with a wink before you ended the call with a kiss to the camera.

[crazymecjc]

Quotes from Mary Poppins

So I was in Mary Poppins this summer and it was the best show I've ever done, it was also one of the funniest backstage experiences I've ever had so here's some quotes from rehearsals :)

I'm referring to everyone by their character names except if they're my friends yeet

My friend Miranda, staring me dead in the eyes: “Cannibalism."

Both of us simultaneously: "hmmmm”

Miranda, frantically: “Do you want some.... boNeLesS AiR”

(She then proceeded to research if boneless air was a thing for like ten minutes)

Me, angrily: “buT wE hAvEnt had our mILK”

Honestly idk who this was: “What is in your boob?”

(Context: we were all volunteering at a meat raffle, which I didn't know was a thing before then but ok)

The guy in charge of the raffle: “If you’re selling tickets, stand up”

*everyone simultaneously drops to the floor*

Guy running the raffle: “Hors d’oeuvres is not a person”

The same guy, a half hour later: “I’m not trusting you, because you said hors d’oeuvres were a country”

The radio:“I’m looking for some way to bond with my kids” Miranda, whispering: “Mr. Banks?”

My friend Anthony:“That’s like the worst way to reduce reuse recycle”

Miranda during rehearsal for Step in Time, pretending to be on Disney Channel:“Hi, I’m a low class citizen, and the only time I see the light of day is at night”

Anthony, sinisterly:“We’re all dead bodies in the end”

Anthony, in the car: “Smells like... g g g g g g g g g g ggrravy”

Miranda:“buT THEY TORE MY spinal cord.... aGAIN!?!?!”

Anthony, walking out of rehearsal:“It smells like a hot dog out here”

Me:“mE”

Anthony, incredulous:“you smell like a hotdog?!?”

Also Anthony:“My uvula is quook”

My friend Maddie, who we all call Marcy bc that was her "character" for the show and it stuck:“Why do you guys know what windex smells like??? Hello???”

Miss Andrew: “You don’t smell windex? What’s wrong with you???”

Anthony, in the car, shouting:“sTEP AWAY FROM THE GOODS”

Anthony, discussing Into the Woods:“I feel like Little Red is sort of like Smeagol”

Me: “There’s a whole family standing in the middle of the road??”

Anthony:“Are they ok?” Me:"They’re not even crossing, they’re just chilling.”

Anthony to me, while in the fake plant section at the craft store: “It’s like you’re trying to get into leaf Narnia”

Miranda to me: “You look like the Kool Aid Man”

Anthony, to me:“Go onto stage like ‘OoOh yEaH”

Anthony, to the tune of one of he songs:“Reeeedd Robin, Yum!”

Miranda, dramatically crossing her legs:“I’m a fucking queen” *mouth pops*

Miranda calling after me on my way out the door:“Wait I’ve gotta tell you a secret “ *whispers in one ear* “the snack that smiles back” * in other ear* “goldfish”

Me, singing:“Someone is returning”

Miranda:“the demons in my house when I’m coming home”

Miranda, in a whisper:“Mary and Bert look like they’re gonna fight”

Anthony, in the car: “No one is alone.. that’s kinda scary”

Anthony:“When I was young, I ate people”

Miranda:“crispy”

Miranda, in the car after a long rehearsal, exhausted:“Can we play some tunes? I don’t want some hard tunes tho, I want gentle tunes”

I honestly don't know who this was, probably Anthony:“Why are you discriminating against whales?”

Miranda, with jazz hands:“Just a spoonful of... pizazz!”

Miranda, a few minutes later:“Just a spoonful of soot helps the depression go down”

Miranda:“What’s the month after January?”

Me, sister struggling:*counts on fingers* “October, November, December, January, feBRUARY”

Anthony,:“Doesn’t it smell like cat food? Oh no that’s McDonalds”

Anthony:“You smell like Cheerios.”

Me:“Thanks????”

Mary, standing by the roof set we had:“Bert, you look like a cat”

Bert, on the roof: “meow”

Marcy, working on her character:“I’m doing research... drug research “

Marcy, trying to explain her character to me:“Marcy Tippetome is a drug addict. But she’s addicted to Tylenol”

Bert:“Bloody hell”

Michael:“sTOP THERE ARE CHILDREN “

Bert:“well you’re the one who keeps pretending to shoot people on stage”

Anthony, singing:“Someone smells like celery!!!!”

Anthony, moments later:“So I was in my room and my body collapsed”

Miss Andrew:“In 20 years I’ll be like ‘hey, you owe me a soda kid’”

Michael:“I’ll be dead in 20 years”

Mr. Banks:“All hair is dead”

Miranda:*bad Italian accent* “would you like some rigatoni???”

Anthony:“Spit the alcohol out Marcy”

Miranda, ranting:“The government can leave. I only know... I don’t know English”

Miranda, reenacting the Sound of Music:“Donde es Maria??”

Miranda and Anthony:*speaking in simmish for ten minutes*

Bert:“I’m gonna hiss. Like a cat. Meow.”

Mary:“Bert, I’m done with you. Jump off the rooftop.”

Probably Anthony??? I don't know:“My name is Margaret, and I like cheese”

Me:“Michael who? I only know mILK”

Anthony:“Remember when I asked what century it was?”

Anthony:“There’s blood on my finger”

Miranda, deadpan:“blood is the cure”

Me:“There’s something in your pocket”

Anthony, nonchalantly:“it’s just a chair”

One of the statues:“Ohmigod who’s on your phone screen Anthony?”

Anthony:“I’m gay”

Anthony, staring into the distance:“Death is my cure”

Anthony, moments later:*valley girl accent* “I’m gonna die”

Miranda, disdainfully:“I never had emo phase. I didnt want to associate with tHAT”

Me to Anthony because he had to wear this frog costs and it was skintight: “Dicks out for Mary Poppins”

Anthony, giving Mrs Banks a hug:“Hi mom!”

Mrs. Banks, deadpan:“did I give you the permission to touch me?”

Anthony, after we went to Wendy's:“Oh my gosh there’s a spoon between my legs! I just wanted my phone and I reached down and then... there’s ice cream on my crotch”

Also Anthony:“I was exhaling really intensely the other day and my tongue started flopping around”

My little brother right before tech week:“Dress rehearsal?? More like stress rehearsal”

Anthony:“Marcy put the Tylenol DOWN!”

Miranda:“Noooo, she’s doing cocane”

(I swear we're good children I'm sorry)

The lady who played Queen Victoria, approaching Miranda:“Can you blow into my eye?”

An ensemble member:“Don’t choke me”

Mr. Banks:“I don’t even know you yet”

Miss Lark, handing someone her dog puppet:“Here, hold my bitch”

Literally all of my friends: *simultaneous “it’s poppin”*

Who knows, but now we all say it:“Rest IP”

Anthony, buying frozen yogurt at the mall between shows:“Is chocolate supposed to be crispy??”

Me, dying inside because I thought it would be a good idea to leave my show tights on while we went to the mall:“Oh No tHeReS SorBeT oN mY TigHtS!?!”

Ok backstory: we had this table for Spoonful of Sugar that is supposed to break and then magically repair itself. So it's motor powered, and so far it's been working great. Fun! So the last night of the show arrives. I accidentally sweep the guy playing Robertson Ay because he's on the floor, so we're already dying. Mary goes to fix the table, and it goes as planned, only to revert back to broken a moment later with a bang. I'm breaking character, and trying to keep singing, but I lose it bc out stage manager offstage, sounding completely dead inside, goes:“Well, there goes the table.”

????:“Why is it wet??” Anthony:“Because I salivate”

Michael, on his way out the door on closing night:“Keep it poppin”

(I cried)

Other notable moments:

This girl started crying about cows in the middle of rehearsal bc she loved them so much

The guy who played Mr. Banks did origami and he made me a dragon

The lady playing Mrs Andrew would regularly balance chairs on her chin

I had to pretend to rip a dolls arm off and the second night I actually ripped its arm off oops

One night I forgot to preset said doll, so it didn't have an arm for a full scene

We'd been joking about building a fort in the dressing room for a while so on the last day, we walked in to find Mrs Banks surrounded by chairs. "It's Fort Banks." She said. Someone had blankets in their car and suddenly there was an actual blanket fort in the dressing room

The girl who played the messenger would write letters to Mr Banks to read during the shows. One of them was about robbing a bank, I think??? She gave him her address and we're still waiting for a reply for the final letter

The flying equipment got caught on the lights one rehearsal and Bert almost died

We'd sing Feed the Birds for warm ups sometimes and I'd cry. every. time.

We were in the Disney store, and the Mary Poppins trailer starts playing as we’re buying Mary Poppins shirts, with Mary Poppins shirts already on

[quicksilversquared]

A Musical Connection Ch. 5

In a world where soulmate bonds can range from a simple matching mark to timers to shared dreams, of course Adrien would get saddled with an inconvenient bond that keeps him from going out and living life- because whenever his soulmate sings, Adrien has to as well.

But the singing, as inconvenient as it is, presents another opportunity. Can Adrien use it to track down his soulmate?

(Ch 1)  (Ch 2)  (Ch 3)  (Ch. 4)

(AO3) (FF.net)

Adrien winced as he ran his hand through his hair. The spray that his stylist had used to keep his hair in place despite the sometimes gusty wind had resulted in hair that felt rather like a helmet, even if it looked very stylish still, and he couldn't wait to wash it all out.

"Well, at least that didn't go over time," Plagg offered as Adrien closed his door behind him. "You ended early, even- no?"

Adrien was shaking his head. "Nathalie has started adding an hour to all of my photoshoots to make sure that the photographers and other models and staff don't charge overtime just because we got interrupted. But yeah, at least it was only part of one song today." It wasn't the worst photoshoot he had done, not by far. It had just been exhausting, and sitting outside and trying not to look chilled in the late fall air wasn't easy. He had makeup coating his ears and cheeks to hide the red from the wind's chill, and that was just as uncomfortable as the cold itself. "I'm gonna go shower and get all of the gunk off. You know where the cheese is."

"We're getting low!" Plagg called as Adrien gathered up a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom. "Can we go to the cheese market soon? We haven't been in ages!"

They hadn't been since Adrien's soulmate bond showed up, he meant. Adrien thought about it. "If we can go early. My soulmate won't be up then. Hopefully."

Plagg cheered loudly.

Adrien shut the bathroom door, heading over to the sink and starting to scrub the layers of makeup off. His cheeks were red from the rubbing, even with the makeup remover on his washcloth.

The makeup artists had really caked it on thick this time.

By the time Adrien had gotten the last streaks of his photoshoot makeup off and got the shower running, he was already feeling better. When the familiar tickle in his throat appeared, Adrien only grinned and started singing along whole-heartedly, even using his shampoo bottle as a microphone as he stepped under the shower head.

It was one of the only times when he could truly enjoy his soulmate bond, when he was at home and not trying to get anything done. His soulmate knew quite a few songs, most quite energetic and fun, and he didn't have to try to think about the words at all. They just flowed out, easy and free.

Adrien supposed that it was a good thing that he wasn't a half-bad singer. Sure, he would never grace CD racks or anything, but he wasn't anywhere close to the yowling cat that his Lady sometimes joked he was.

(She hadn't actually heard him sing anytime recently, actually. She couldn't judge him on his fifteen-year-old self's singing skills.)

His soulmate swung from an upbeat, peppy song to a slower one, powerful and sweet. Adrien tipped his head back to rinse the shampoo out of his hair and belted out the words, careful to not get any soap in his mouth.

"And just for this moment, As long as you're mine, I've lost all resistance-"

The rest of his shower went by in a flash, and then Adrien was toweling himself off and tugging on fresh clothes, ones that hadn't been tossed over the back of a metal folding chair in the change tent for part of the day and then knocked onto the ground for the rest of the photoshoot. His hair got a quick toweling of and brushing out, and then Adrien shoved it back away from his face instead of styling it.

He wasn't going to be going out for the rest of the day, after all. His father might give him some sidelong looks, but that was fine. Adrien wasn't going to pay him any mind.

"Oh god, the soundtrack's started," Plagg grumbled as Adrien came out, still singing. "Really? You look like a dork, holding your hairbrush like that."

"-helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down! Oh, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way!"

"There's no medicine in the world that is delightful," Plagg informed Adrien helpfully. "It's gross, all of it. I've had Chosens try to give me their nasty human medicine when I get sick. Don't ever try it, or I'll bite you."

Adrien ignored Plagg, heading over to his computer to pull out his books to do a few Chemistry problems and singing all the while. He didn't have to think about the songs at all as he sang, so it really wasn't that distracting as he worked out the chemical equations. In fact, it was actually rather enjoyable.

Even if he hadn't met his soulmate yet, Adrien always felt closer to her when he could sing along properly like this. He often felt a bit bad about grumbling and sighing over his soulmate bond, especially with as frequently as he complained about it and tried his best to resist the singing. When he resisted so much, Adrien often felt like he was, in some way, rejecting his soulmate.

And he wasn't. He didn't want to. After so long thinking that he would spend his life alone and lonely, without someone who just got him, Adrien was glad that he had a soulmate. It was just that he would have preferred a different kind of mark to show his bond, something that would allow him to go about his day a little more normally.

But his bond would allow him to track down his soulmate while things like simple matching marks and timers didn't. As long as Max's methods could produce results, Adrien should be able to locate his soulmate before much longer.

Humming now- apparently his soulmate had settled down a bit, and good thing too as Adrien's throat was starting to feel a tad sore- Adrien finished up his Chemistry homework, then settled down with a reading for his Plant Bio course. He shot a text off to Nathalie letting her know that he would take dinner in his room, as his father would complain if Adrien were to start singing again if he were in the dining room, and then went back to his coursework.

If his soulmate properly stopped singing later, he would try to watch a few recorded lectures and get a bit ahead of the syllabus. If his soulmate followed her patterns from previous semesters, she would start singing more again towards the end of the semester. Now that Adrien knew- or, well, suspected- that she was at a university theater, that made sense. Two musicals per semester, and performers would logically be practicing more when they were right about to start their performances. That made things a little inconvenient for Adrien, unless he planned ahead.

And since Adrien wanted to minimize any resentment towards his soulmate bond getting in his way, he would work around it and adapt.

  "Hey, Alya!"

Alya grinned at Marinette as she slid into the seat next to her in the cozy diner they had chosen to meet at. "Hey, girl. Nino said sorry he couldn't make it, but he's got class to go to."

Marinette made a face. "Ugh. Class this early? No thanks. I didn't even want to get up this time. But there's a sale at the fabric shop today, and I had to swing by before and I wanted to get in and buy some things I need before supplies went." She patted the bulging bags sitting on the floor by her feet. "This'll be fun to work with. And I restocked my threads, and my needles, and zippers and buttons and-"

"Your whole sewing kit then, basically." Alya snagged the menu from Marinette and scanned it. "I bet your parents were surprised to see you up so early."

Marinette giggled, remembering her mother's face when she saw Marinette barreling down the stairs over two hours before she normally got up. "She wanted to know if there was a fire upstairs or something. And I did tell them about the sale yesterday, but apparently they forgot."

"Is anything in there for the theater?" Alya wanted to know as she flagged down a waitress. "Or do you not need anything for Mary Poppins?"

Marinette shook her head. "All of the costumes have been made, and all of the sewing for the sets got finished, too. And the school pays for all of those supplies, so it doesn't really matter as much when I buy stuff."

"So what do you do when there's no more work on the costumes to do?" Alya wanted to know. "I'd like the pancakes and eggs, please, and a glass of orange juice, please," she added to the waitress.

"I'll have the same," Marinette said, smiling at the waitress. The woman nodded and headed back towards the kitchen. "I keep the outfits organized, because if it were up to the cast, things would just get hung up whenever at the end of performances and dress rehearsals," she told Alya. "And there's other plays going on that aren't musicals, that's just what I tend to spend most of my time on, since they're so big. I just finished altering some things for a blackbox play, and I've got to do some repairs on the outfits that I just got back from another play, because they got stretched and torn a bit. I get them cleaned before they get put away, too."

"Mending and laundry. Yeah, I really see why you stay at that job." Alya gave Marinette a long look. "I get that it pays, but really. When was the last time that you made an entirely new outfit for the theater?"

"Little Shop of Horrors," Marinette answered promptly. "We didn't exactly have a giant plant costume sitting around. And some of the costumes needed some major alterations."

Alya groaned. "You know that isn't what I meant. When have you designed anything? You're too good to just be a seamstress for a university theater department."

"I'm thinking of getting a part-time internship with a design house this summer," Marinette said with a sigh. She had been thinking about it more often recently as her professors stressed the importance of getting a foot in the door to the fashion world, even though she still had a couple months before she would be able to apply to anything. "Since the theater thing only takes a few hours each day most of the time. Then I would get a foot in there, but I could keep the good hours from the theater during the school year."

That only made Alya look more exasperated. "I'm sure you could find an internship that would work around your classes. Mine does."

"That's not what other students have found," Marinette said firmly. She knew Alya had her best interests in mind, she really did, but Alya hadn't looked through the postings for jobs and talked to the older design students. "And I enjoy my job. I'm not going to leave it."

"If you're sure." Alya leaned over, poking through Marinette's bag. She made an appreciative noise when she found the length of red silk that Marinette had bought. "Ooh, this is pretty."

Marinette grinned, thinking of the dress and flared pants she was planning on making with that particular fabric. She was going to do a few black accents on it, a subtle reference to her Ladybug colors without doing the spots like so many other people did. She probably wouldn't get around to making it for a bit- after all, she had things she needed to do for her classes and also for her job that came first- but she had the designs all drawn out and the measurements made.

"And velvet!" Alya exclaimed, still digging. "And- oh, this is pretty. Your colors are always great."

"Well, I am a designer. I have to have an eye for color." Marinette watched as Alya pulled a rainbow of fabrics out of her bag, oohing over each one. There was a ton of fabric, enough that the other customers were giving them odd looks, but Marinette knew that she would end up using most of those fabrics up in the next couple of months. It was just part of being a fashion student.

She had gotten spectacular deals on each and every one of those lengths, good enough to make her want to spontaneously burst out into song in joy. Since she had had no desire to get booted out of the fabric store, she had contented herself with humming merrily as she picked out fabrics and loaded them into her cart.

Alya just shook her head. "It's not just the designer thing. I've seen some so-called fashion students gasping over the ugliest colors in the store and making up designs with fabrics that I thought belonged in the trash. They clearly have no idea what actually looks good."

Marinette hastily muffled a laugh. As much as she was loath to admit it, just because she hated to speak ill about another person's art, Alya had a point. Some of her classmates were so focused on making something unique and never seen before that they lost sight of what actually looked good. She personally preferred to balance new and timeless style, comfort and fashion.

"Oh, is that who I think it is?" Alya asked, cutting across Marinette's musings. She pointed across the cafe at the blond man who had just entered. Marinette squinted and- yup, Alya was right, it was Adrien. Alya waved, catching his attention. "Adrien! Over here!"

Adrien looked startled, but he only hesitated for a second before heading over to their table. Marinette was surprised to see that Adrien didn't look as cheerful as he normally did, though he tried for a smile as he stopped by their table.

"Hey, you two," Adrien greeted them. Even though Marinette had cleared space on the seat next to her for him, he didn't sit down. "I didn't expect to see you guys here!"

"And you would never expect to see Marinette this early, right?" Without waiting for an answer, Alya soldiered on. "And don't just stand there, Adrien, sit down! Don't be a stranger. Or do you have somewhere to be?"

Adrien sat, placing his bag on the seat next to him. He didn't look comfortable.

"I was showing Alya some of the stuff I bought at the fabric store this morning," Marinette explained as she slid fabric back into the bag. She paused to let Adrien feel the silk before tucking it away as well. "There was a sale."

That got a laugh out of Adrien. "Oh, is that why you're up? I thought we normally wouldn't see you for another couple hours."

Marinette spluttered. "I- oh, that's not nice. I'd normally be getting up soon, not in a couple hours."

Adrien grinned at her. "Oh, we know. I was just teasing." He leaned over to hug Marinette, pressing her into his side. "We wouldn't be seeing you out and about for a couple hours, then. Not unless you had something to get to, at least."

"Speaking of seeing people, we weren't expecting to see you here," Alya told Adrien. The waitress returned with their drinks, and Alya accepted hers with a thanks. "I thought you weren't really going out much these days?"

"I was going to get a box to-go, honestly. I just wanted to get out of the house." Adrien flipped through the menu that the waitress had handed him. "Though I suppose I could have just asked our chef for a box, too, and had a picnic of sorts somewhere. I just didn't think of it."

"Well, now you have somewhere to sit while you eat." Marinette took a sip of her juice and then pushed it over so Adrien could have some. "And people to talk to."

Adrien was still looking a bit uncomfortable for some reason, and Marinette wondered if he had actually been on his way somewhere and just didn't want to talk about it. She tried to subtly glance at his wrists- maybe his soulmate mark was a timer, and that was why he had snuck out- but no, Adrien's wrists were clearly bare, devoid of any marks. Clearly whatever had gotten him out of the house was some other reason entirely.

"Do you have designs to go with that fabric?" Adrien asked after he had placed his order and assured the waitress that no, no one else would be joining them. "You must, right?"

Marinette grinned and nodded, pulling out her sketchbook. "Yeah! Some are still going through revisions, of course, but I have them nailed down enough to have rough yardage figured out." She flipped the sketchbook open and pushed it over towards Adrien. "That's what I have planned."

She watched as Adrien flipped through the pages, giving each design a careful look-over, reading her notes and tracing over some of the lines lightly with his finger. Out of all of her old friends, Adrien was the one who gave her designs the closest looks and gave her the most constructive feedback. He looked at the designs as more than just a pretty picture, looking at the design as a fashion piece as well. Even if fashion wasn't his field of study, Adrien had been exposed to it enough over the years to develop a pretty good eye.

"This are going to look amazing, Marinette," Adrien said after a minute. He didn't look as excited as he normally did when looking at her designs, but Marinette wasn't going to take that personally. It was obvious that he was having an off day. "Just like always. There's some new techniques you're using, aren't there?"

Marinette grinned, impressed that he had noticed. "Yeah! I learned them in my techniques class and I immediately got some ideas of what to make. I probably won't be able to make much anything for myself until the semester has ended, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared."

It didn't take long for their breakfast to be delivered, with Adrien's arriving at the same time despite his order being put in a bit later. He ate quickly, leaving money for his meal before taking off with a wave.

Alya didn't look surprised, but Marinette was super-confused. The Adrien she knew spent as much time as he could with his friends, even occasionally risking his father's wrath to eke out a few more minutes together with them. But Adrien seemed uncomfortable while out in public, a far cry from when they had hung out together at Alya's apartment.

Had there been some sort of incident with his fans during one of the get-togethers that she had missed during the Little House of Horrors run? Marinette had thought that people had backed off a bit after Mr. Agreste had sent a lawyer after one particularly aggressive fan, but there was always the occasional person who was willing to brave both the former supervillain and all of the security that he had just to get a bit closer to Adrien.

If she had been as into him as she had been when she was younger, Marinette would have surely heard about whatever had happened by now. But it had been years since Marinette looked up articles and videos about Adrien, mostly because it felt like invading his privacy.

Besides, the articles weren't very accurate. Adrien was a fairly private person, keeping his public social media profiles minimalistic, with only information about his upcoming modeling events or Gabriel lines posted. The tabloids had to guess and make things up for most of their articles and, well...

They weren't very accurate. Clearly the reporters had never actually talked to him in person.

"So, back to what we were talking about before," Alya said, cutting across Marinette's thoughts- maybe she should search Adrien's name again, just to check- "Your new show is gonna run in a few weeks, right? Is it any good?"

"Are you kidding? It's fantastic." Fully distracted, Marinette's attention returned fully to Alya. "You should come watch one of the shows. We've got some great child actors in it without our normal cast. They're surprisingly good at singing, considering how young they are."

Alya barked out a laugh. "Wow, such persuasive powers you have there. All right, all right. If I'm free one of those nights, I'll go. I might not be, though," she warned. "That's gonna be a busy time for my internship, too."

"That's what you always say." Still, Marinette wasn't too bothered. Alya had never really been into plays, so it was no big surprise that she might not come and see the show. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Alya laughed. "Okay, okay, I'll try. I promise."