#LOVE <3 THANK YOU RANI
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haleigh-sloth · 5 months ago
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All the Feelings
Yep. So manga didn't end how I wanted or anticipated, it's okay. Lesson learned lol. I will learn to live in fanon in my head lmao, it's an important life skill imo. I've never cared this much about a story, felt so much love for a story, I used to never even care how stories ended. MHA made me care about the stories I consume being good, actually. So I'm grateful, and MHA is good imo. I will just hold resentment for the last 15 chapters and pretend it ended differently lol.
That being said, I have no regrets. The impact this manga and fandom has had on my life is crazy. I've met solid online friends that have stuck around for years (wtf!) and I've met irl friends.
Like...2.5 years ago a group of online friends and I started a server. That server has been going strong ever since, it became a fun space for all of us to be goofy, be serious, vulnerable, whatever we needed at the time. And I'm so thankful! @mettywiththenotes @jecook @helga-grinduil @redphlox @transhawks @chocolate-biscuit @bootlickerhawks have been the best group to finish out this manga with. I can't wait to keep talking about all the manga to come in the future for us to gush over!
Julie (redphlox) and I met when we lived near each other in 2021 and have been super close friends ever since. Crossing state lines to visit each other, taking trips together, sleep overs, all the things. Best thing to come from this manga for me, life long friendships are precious.
@hamliet I've loved talking with you and Julie over the past couple of years! It's added so much to my life and I look forward to visiting in Boston one day. And squealing over Oshi no Ko in the near future.
Metty and Anya (helga-grinduil) sharing the Tomura and Izuku love with me until the very end. Metty and Cami (bootlickerhawks) having the best meme game, Hazel (jecook) and Cho (choco biscuit) having hilarious senses of humor and making everyone laugh.
Rani (transhawks), your humor is unmatched and your life perspective is always fun to hear. Watching Drops of God and Kids on the Slope together for weeks in a row is a core memory for me. Julie and I will see you in New York one day soon <3.
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spider-jaysart · 1 year ago
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What are some songs that remind u of Jon or jondami?
@dunkinsthings
Ooooh I have a good few of them in my list!!!
(Now updated with more!!!)
For Damijon:
Stick together by Elijah N
Be with you by Mondays (feat. Lucy)
Pumping up clouds by Urban Cone
Sunroof by Nicky Youre & dazy (Damian's pov)
I really like you by Carly Rae Jespen (for Jon's pov)
Just friends by Jordy
Feelings by Lauv
I like me better by Lauv (Damian's pov)
Oath by Cher Lloyd
With ur love by Cher Lloyd
Rock N roll by Avril Lavigne
You're my only shorty by Demi Lovato (Jon's pov because Damian's the shorty lol :3 I also like to headcanon that Jon just sings this song to him sometimes as a joke and Damian will get annoyed and try to tell him to cut it out, while blushing red all over his face lol)
Love you like that by Dagny (Damian's pov)
Man I think I love her by Stereo Skyline
Stupid for you by Waterparks (These two care so much about eachother that they'll do anything for one another lol, so this one also really fits them)
Love like woe by The Ready Set
La Da Dee by Cody Simpson
Hideaway by Grace Vanderwaal
Chasing fire by Lauv
One that got away by Nerdout
Youth by Troye Sivan
You by Axol & Alex Skrindo
Iyiyi by Cody Simpson (feat. Flo Rida) (Jon's pov, cause whenever he's not with Damian, he just can't stop talking or thinking about him in canon lol, which is just so cute💗)
Rollercoaster by Bleachers
Charlie be quiet by Charlie Puth (when they're too scared to confess their feelings to eachother due to the fear that they'll ruin their friendship)
Lean on me by Cheat codes & Tinashe
Good time by Owl City (feat. Carly Rae Jespen)
Sunflower by Post Malone & Swae Lee
Rise by Jonas Blue (feat. Jack and Jack)
Marry me by Jason Derulo (when they're adults)
Angst ones for them that remind me a lot about the age up and how it also changed their relationship:
Everything by Diamond Eyes (This ones my fave angst song for them)
As it was by Harry Styles
Summertime sadness by Lana Del Rey
Do it all over by Cheat Codes (feat. Marc E. Bassy)
Stay by Alessia Cara
When you're gone by Shawn Mendes
Getting over you by Lauv
Ghost by Halsey mashed up with Thunder by Imagine dragons (mixed by GINGERGREEN 'returns on YouTube)
Heat waves by Glass Animals
Watching him fade away by Mac DeMarco
Just a dream by Nelly
For Jon:
Sunshine by OneRepublic
Live while we're young by One Direction
I gotta feeling by Black Eyed Peas
Post Malone by Sam Feldt (feat. Rani) (this one also reminds me of him and Damian too)
Journey to the lowest place on earth by Alec Benjamin (for the age up angst)
(I'm sure I've probably got more for him, but I think I just kind of forgot some of them for now)
And that's all of them!
Thank you for the ask!! I really enjoyed sharing these!!! :D
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cranberrysoap · 4 months ago
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First off, hi! I love your art style and am obsessed with how you draw blood.
Second, Rabi si everything to me we're the same body type and I JUST cut my hair (v short on one half and undercut on the other) so we're basically twins now
Third, I need to brush lias' hair. I think between me and Rani we could do some fun styling for him. And definitely not bc I judt want to put 3 million barrettes in his hair. :3
Great job as usual and thanks for sharing your art!
Hello! Thank you so much!!
Ahh I’m so happy to hear that!! Her bodytype is one of my favs I find rly fun to draw. Omg twins!
Hehe! Well he finds his hair being brushed pretty relaxing so I think you could too! One would probably be able to sneak a few accessories in before he noticed XD
Thank you!! 🥺 I will do my best to keep sharing! qvq
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australet789 · 4 months ago
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hey! I know this is like, super late, but I could not stop thinking about perfectly valued act 3 page 19. especially this panel:
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this absolutely punched me in the GUT because not only would bunga have been shattered over the fact that binga left their cub, but also he’d be devastated over the fact that his son is now gonna have to go through what he did. god this act destroyed me :’) love how you drew ono btw!! /gen
ahhh thank you! Act 3 was one of my favorites to do because you can see how the domino effect of Kion's and Rani's kidnapping is going into motion. The different ways of grieving after Bunga's death. And yes, the parallel of Bunga's son going after what Bunga went through. I love using motifs that can mean cycles and how they can or not be broken.
That's what The Lion King is about, in the end.
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wheeboo · 2 months ago
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hi ate rani :3 its wei, how are you doing as of late? hopefully it's been good hehe
im gonna go on my spiritual retreat as a graduating student.. 2/4 retreats, let's hope it goes fine :'))
question ! tell me that you love me, the shua fic, was rlly long on its own. right? to the point that you had to split it up. i'm curious, was the split-up of the parts because of a tumblr character limit, or because it was a cut-off that made sense?
have a good time always !!
🌂
MY WEIWEI !!! i've been doingg okayy thank u for asking <3 could be better mentally but we're hanging in there i think ⁉️ how are you doing?? hopefully you've been doing good 💓
WAHH have fun on your retreats!! let me know how it goes !! GRADUATING STUDENT WEI™️ GOES HARD HELLLOOOOO LETS GOOO
goddd the shua fic is soo long right 😭 never thought i would have managed to write that much HAHA. and to answer your question, it was both! LMAOO when i tried to copy and paste the entire story from docs to the post, tumblr flashed me this gnarly red ass warning about how i reached the tumblr character/block limit. LIKE HOW RUDE OF THEM. so i had to try and evenly split it as much as i can 😭
this is what it told me:
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so lesson learned here. never ever write a 30k+ story again because tumblr hates it and it's a waste of time for people to read /hj 🫡
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asharkapologist · 1 year ago
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Criminal Case’s Subversive Portrayal of Cheerleaders Part 1/3: Introduction + Madison Springer, Part 1
A/N: This was written a bit later than expected, but life got in the way. Either way, enjoy! And thank you to everyone who voted in my poll! 
Cheerleaders do not always have the most positive representation in media. 
I feel like that’s hardly a controversial statement. Books, movies, shows, games, etc., especially those in the 2000s and 2010s, often portrayed cheerleaders in a very stereotypical, unflattering light. Cheerleaders are the mean, popular girls. They’re not very smart. They’re very clique-y. They’re bullies, and cheerleading is definitely not considered a sport. Portrayals of cheerleaders like this often cross over and are related to how femininity/girls interested in stereotypically feminine things like clothes, makeup, male attention, the color pink, etc., are often demonized, too, portrayed as mean, vapid, and shallow. (That’s a topic for a whole different analysis.) But my point being, if a female character is a cheerleader, even in media from the 2020s, chances are fairly high that this character is going to be mean, stupid, vapid, or a combination of all three.
I used to be a cheerleader in junior high and my first year of high school, and this always frustrated me. I was an avid reader of YA novels in junior high/high school, and it always frustrated me when the cheerleader characters were always written the same. I still pick up the occasional YA novel, and portrayals of cheerleaders continue to annoy me. (I recently read a novella published in late 2019 that fell into the trap). I may no longer be a cheerleader, but I will continue to defend cheerleaders with my life, take issue with how they’re portrayed in fiction, literally make OCs who are cheerleaders (one of my OCs is literally a college cheerleader majoring in Information Systems who works in IT), and insist that cheer is a sport (if anyone disagrees with this, I dare you to look up cheer routines on YouTube and say that what those people do isn’t a testament to incredible athletic skills). Point being, by the time I really got into Criminal Case near the end of my high school career, I was very tired of unflattering cheerleading representation.
Then a miracle happened. While playing University in Grimsborough (I played these games out of order), I met a character who defied multiple stereotypes associated with cheerleaders and made me fall in love with her: Madison Springer. And upon returning to Grimsborough in The Conspiracy (which I started only sometime earlier this year and which, along with Save the World, are the final two games I haven’t played; like I said, I played these games out of order), I met two more characters who defied stereotypes associated with cheerleaders: Vicky Lopez and Chelsea Bloom. And even in her own weird way, Polly O’Brien also defies some stereotypes associated with cheerleaders. 
SPOILERS FOR GRIMSBOROUGH AND THE CONSPIRACY BEYOND THIS POINT.
Something common amongst all four young women, including Madison, is that all four characters start out seeming to conform to stereotypes, before being revealed as far more complex and much kinder than initially let on, in Madison, Vicky, and Chelsea’s case, or crueler, in Polly’s case. Both Grimsborough and The Conspiracy subvert expectations and stereotypes that their cheerleader characters appear to fall into. Madison is initially introduced as a sorority president before it’s revealed she’s a cheerleader in Murder on Campus, where a freshman who had just been invited into Madison’s sorority, Rani, is murdered. The first impression Madison gives off is not terribly flattering. There is a “massive portrait of her in the sorority common room,” as Jones says, and she makes some unfortunately racially/culturally insensitive comments about Rani and Misha Goshwalla that there’s no defending. She also slut-shames girls of other “skanky sororities.” Jones hardly likes her upon this first introduction, saying that “she’s lying through her teeth” and saying “I’m convinced there’s evil lurking behind those big puppy eyes.” And Madison conducts some sort of hazing on the sorority rushees (although this isn’t what killed Rani), and lies when she insists no one under 21 drank champagne. Additionally, when Rani passed the hazing “with flying colors,” as her sister Misha says Madison said, Madison called up Misha and said that Rani was much cooler than Misha, all of which added/contributed to Misha’s long-standing envy of her sister, which made her susceptible to Tess’ hypnotism, and led to her killing Rani, upon Tess’ prompting that “it was the right thing to do.” After Misha is arrested, Madison surprisingly nicely (probably trying to use emotional manipulation) asks the player and Nathan to help her find her missing sorority president pin, and makes it clear that she is not happy with her sorority sister who presumably stole her pin, and despite Nathan’s prompting not to do so, plans on punishing said “traitorous” sister.
Whew.
Bit of a yikes. When I was rereading the transcript for Murder on Campus while writing this, it really brought back how unlikable Madison was in her first appearance. Jones doesn't like her, and I doubt people playing the game are supposed to, either.
However, technically it’s not mentioned that Madison is a cheerleader in this case, just a sorority president, so technically, there’s no cheerleader bashing going on. And the next time she’s a suspect in a murder, in Dead Man Running, where it is revealed she’s a cheerleader, she gets more nuance and sympathy--although it doesn’t start out this way. 
During that case, it’s revealed Madison was dating the victim, quarterback Troy Takiguchi, which Jones correctly declares as cliche. When Jones and Player talk to Madison, she says she’s more concerned with being dateless to the upcoming prom ball, once again showing her as rather shallow, not seeming to care for very valid/sympathetic reasons that her boyfriend of six months is dead, still more concerned about herself. Still not a very flattering portrayal of a cheerleader--but we’re about to make progress. 
Because, later, Jones and Player discover Madison’s beaten-up phone in Troy’s room, and with Alex’s help, find out that Madison knows, thanks to her friends telling her, that Troy was cheating on her, which leads to this exchange:
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I honestly really like this, and is perhaps the first example in the game of Madison being likable, because this is a very positive example of her showing that she knows her worth. She’s rightfully angry, and allows herself to be, without being condemned by Jones/the narrative or accused of murder. When her cheating boyfriend tried to blame her for his infidelity, she snaps back that it was not her fault, and breaks up with him, not giving him another chance. An example of toxic masculinity/patriarchy is when men blame their partners for said men’s infidelity, and Madison is having none of that. In reality, compared to what she said in her first interrogation, she would rather preserve her dignity and self-worth rather than attend the university dance with her unfaithful boyfriend. She cares about her reputation, yes, but she also cares about her self-worth and knows she deserves better. And this is the fork in the road and the turn for the better in terms of how Madison and cheerleaders are portrayed. 
Madison still keeps some of her rude personality, though. In the additional investigation of that same case when Jones and Player go to check up on Madison before the Quails’ football team plays, and see her saying:
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Honestly, I’m not sure why, but this line made me smile--and the rest of the interactions Player and Jones have with her come off as less of her being nasty and more as rude, but…good natured in a way? More light-hearted? Less serious than a sorority girl hazing new recruits. Just a cheer captain being impatient with her team, still not incredibly flattering, and she obviously isn’t kind, but better. And then she then says, “I know it’s a bit impolite to ask you, but I really need your help. As I said, I lost my new cheerleader's pom-poms, the blue and gold pair I'm supposed to use during the match!...Please, can you look for them while I try to create something at least resembling a cheerleader's performance with my team?” Still a bit rude, perhaps manipulating Jones and Player, but much more light-hearted than the last time she asked you to find something of hers that was lost. And when you find her pom-poms, Jones says the following:
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The last line is said with a smile on his face. I do think there is maybe a touch of sarcasm with the “charming girl” part, even if she is more likable in this case, but either way, I find the message on her pom-poms rather amusing (I wonder who this eponymous Beth is), and I like how Madison being like a drill sergeant, as Jones puts it, isn’t used to insult her or call her out for being bossy and loud. She’s being stern as she’s yelling at her team, but it’s not really portrayed as her being mean or nasty. And when you return her pom-poms she’s complimenting her team and allowing them a break. And with one last little dig at Jones’ lack of popularity during his schooling days, she tells Jones and Player to go get a hamburger/hot dog at the vendor stands, saying they’ll get the food for free if they say Madison sent her--and that wraps up the interaction you have with her in that case, and interactions with her end on a much more positive note here in comparison to Murder on Campus. She’s cast in a bit more likable light in the case she’s introduced as a cheerleader. 
…And that actually wraps up part one of this analysis, because this is getting a bit long.
But stay tuned for the next part, where I talk about how Madison is written in The Devil’s Playground, Spring Break Massacre, and The Rorschach Reaper, where things get even more interesting.
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oh-shtars · 8 months ago
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Bonjour, good day, I come with more questions~
1. What Disney character do you think most inspired each character in your rewrite?
2. More Rani loreeee
3. Does Rani have star magic? Although feel free to skip this as it might spoil your ending with Sueño
4. Does Hopes & Dreams have any other pet names for each other?
5. If Ashueño is similar to a genderbent Rapunzel, what dynamic is the royal couple like?
6. What trope best fits Hopes & Dreams? What about the royal couple?
7. Do you have any scrapped ideas you want to share?
8. Are the other character’s wishes important to the story?
9. What Hazbin character is each RFTS!character like?
Oh wow-
I get so happy whenever you guys leave asks and stuff like this. Thanks so much! 🥺💖💖 LOVE YA BO!
If y’all ever send me an ask and I haven’t answered it yet, please know I’m not ignoring you. I either don’t know how to answer it yet or I’m too busy atm. (Especially with exams coming up. Ew.)
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(Looking at this, I feel more guilty the more they stay there. 😅 But hey! At least you can look forward to more content, right?)
Anyways, Onto the asks!
1. What Disney character do you think most inspired each character in your rewrite?
I remember doing this one post as a little fun game for everyone to share 3 characters that inspired their main characters. But since you asked for just one and it has to be a Disney character, guess I’ll do that.
You can visit the post if you want to see mine and other AUs’ participation.
Asha = Belle (Beauty and the Beast)
Sueño = Aladdin
Magnifico = Hades (Hercules)
Amaya = Zarina (Tinkerbell: The Pirate Fairy)
Valentino = Younger Simba (The Lion King)
(I don’t have a solid personality for the 7 teens since they’re not going to have as big of a role. I do have their key traits in my notes so I can look back to it as a guide. But I’m just going to go with the flow when writing their scenes.)
……..
2. More Rani Loreeeeee
I haven’t even finished a final outline for the main plot of the RFTS!story, so idk even for a sequel. Maybe I’ll do some random drawings of family bonding moments and just him being a precious little guy.
(Hypothetically speaking, IF both Asha and Sueño survive the tragedy I’ll inflict on them. I mean what- who said that?)
All I know for Rani is that he’s someone who’s not sure what is the one thing he’s passionate for. And in this kingdom where everyone is so sure what they want and striving to achieve it, he feels lost. Surely, people only have one passion, right? Why can’t he find and settle for one?
Whenever he finds something he could be passionate about, Rani feels icky at the thought of just permanently sticking to it from now on. But at the same time, he criticises himself for being ‘irresponsible and indecisive.’
He “longs” to know his place and know what he wishes to do exactly. Rani doesn’t like being told, “But you’re so talented!!” because he personally thinks it’s unhelpful. It doesn’t make his choice of picking one passion any easier.
He also doesn’t really like vague answers to his questions and gets frustrated with it. “Believe in yourself.” “You’ll get there.” “Keep going!” “You’ll know it when you feel it.” “I don’t know what you’re aspiring to do, but I bet you’ll do great.” Well guess what? He doesn’t know what he’s doing either. :D
Also: *G A S P*. Not a strong believer of Wishing stars nor looking to the sky for answers! 😱 Rani prefers to “see-it-to-believe-it.” A more down to earth person who wants real solutions, not just hoping for something to magically happen.
(Some stuff might change but here’s an overview of Rani just like you asked- :))
…………
3. Does Rani have star magic?
Ehhhhh, I’ll say he has general knowledge in magic and just about anything he finds interesting and gets his hands on. Not really star magic, though he has the skill of a fast-learner when learning about regular magic. Again, Rani’s existence may or may not be hypothetical. 🤷
………
4. Does Hopes & Dreams have any other pet names for each other?
Sueño is not really one for pet names since he adores Asha just as she is, including her name. But in his head and through the sign language he eventually learns, he does sometimes call her: “Love or My Sky”
(I love “My Sky” so much because it FITS him. He loves the feeling of freedom and is claustrophobic. So he’s basically saying he feels so free and happy to be around her. Also, *coughs* Bo. “Sky”. My Sky. “Cielo”. Amirite? This was unintentional, I swear-)
For Asha, she calls Sueño: “Starlight, Mi Sueño (this is her fav one ofc), Sunny (though this is more general), Hon/Honey.”
For the last one, I have a silly headcanon that Sueño comes to have honey as one of his fav foods. It sort of rhymes with his other nickname, “Sunny,” and Asha thinks it’s hilarious to tease him with the “honey” nickname when he gets all sticky.
Idk why I even came up with this, but the thought that he’ll eat anything, even food he usually doesn’t like, that is dipped in honey on it is just funny, okay? And it connects to Hal too since I remember she’s meant to be a beekeeper. (This may also be a cute little reference with Winnie the Pooh if Sueño shapeshifts. Hehehe)
Btw, stars can taste but not go hungry. Like how they touch and feel stuff but not feel pain when inflicted or hit by something. If it’s dark magic, then that’s the only exception and they can feel pain.
…….
5. If Ashueño is similar to a genderbent Rapunzel, what dynamic is the royal couple like?
Idk actually. I made Amnifico or ‘Grand Despair’ from scratch without referring or getting inspired by any couple I know. It’s mostly songs and vibes I’ve collected to create their dynamic. Same with Ashueño. The Rapunzel similarity was not intentional. 😅
(I think you should be worried because my RFTS!Spotify playlist has lots of angst- lol.)
Uhhhhhhh, maybe Grand Despair can be something akin to Charity and P.T Barnum from the Greatest Showman. But darker and eviler.
A guy who promises something for his beloved, gets carried away, and eventually forgetting what this was all for in the first place. :3
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……
6. What trope best fits Hopes and Dreams? What about the royal couple?
Hopes and Dreams:
“Soulmates/Fate” (I think we can all agree that these two are meant to be, either platonically or romantically, in any universe both AU and Canon.)
👏 SLOW 👏 BURN👏 (That pang of realisation always gets me)
Thinks she’s no one special x Treats her like royalty
Grand Despair:
Doomed Romance
Pissy x Only one who calms him down
”Us against the World”
……….
7. Do you have any scrapped ideas you want to share?
Not anything that wouldn’t spoil some stuff for the plot. Sorry 😞
……
8. Are the other characters’ wishes important to the story?
Hmmmmm. I guess they influence the narrative and further establish the conflict of the story.
Like, the characters are used to just taking the easy way to achieve their dreams by waiting for the day Magnifico grants them one morning. They can make as much as they want. Unbeknownst to them, they’re stuck in this cycle of always wanting more but never satisfied.
They keep wishing and wishing, believing that they have no chance of reaching it on their own without their king’s help.
I’d like the main theme to be: not being afraid to dream big and “Reach for the Stars” but you shouldn’t expect grand things to just come to you instantly. You’ll need to take faith and work for it. Why? Because the whole journey getting there, regardless of the many struggles, is worth it and it sure is something to look back and be proud of.
It sure is what Walt Disney did, isn’t it? :)
……..
9. What Hazbin character is each RFTS!character like?
It’s kind of difficult to pick from the Hazbin cast what each RFTS!character is like since one plot is based off of dreams and everything nice while the other is literally based in hell. 😂
But I’ll try:
Asha:
Emily was the closest I could think of. (Since I literally couldn’t think of anyone else. Oof-) Not really referring to the happy, excited part of her. More like the “I believe these people deserve a lot better than this” and eventually finding her voice to stand up against authority for the people she cares about.
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Sueño:
No, not the aggressive and assertive side of Vaggie. Lol nope. More like getting attached to the MC that helped them get back onto their feet, warmly welcomed them in this strange new world, and now they would do anything to help them get their dreams come true whatever it takes.
(Also, a secret they’re keeping that’s eating them up inside with guilt and constantly worrying that the MC would hate their guts if they knew. Oops-)
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Magnifico:
I’d say the fake-ass showmanship he puts out in public but in reality, he’s really done and exhausted with his audience. He’s still pretty charismatic when he wants to be but I can see him losing his cool quite easily, leading to outbursts.
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Amaya:
Idkkkk. The main cast of Hazbin don’t really fit RFTS!Amaya’s vibe so I just went with Lilith despite how we know nothing about her at the moment. (This is probs gonna age badly-)
She’s a parental figure to someone who trusts her a lot but in reality, her motivations might not be what they seem. She could be willing to sacrifice other people if it means she gets a benefit out of them.
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uloelu · 8 months ago
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Location: Windslar, Windenburg
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(transcript under the cut)
Episode 4 | Previous | Next (Part 2)
So...I lied. This episode is actually going to be 3(!) parts long, mostly because the dinner with Audreyanna's dad and Brylee is going to be...well, you can imagine how that's going to go. Part 2 should be up within the next 24 hours, and part 3 on Tuesday--though I'm going to be traveling this week, so don't quote me on this schedule. Hope you enjoy getting to know the foster moms a bit better! I felt bad for neglecting them so much thus far.
Episode 5: Mother, Mother - Part 1
Scene 1 - Inside 28 Windslar
[Audreyanna and Evelyn lie sleeping.]
Alarm clock at 7:30 AM: bzzt! bzzt! bzzt!
Audreyanna (giving Evelyn a wet smooch): You’re in a good mood today.
Evelyn: A day off will do that to anyone. And no kissing before you brush your teeth, remember?
Audreyanna: [sighs} Fine, I’m going.
Evelyn: Or sighing.
[Audreyanna enters the bathroom and starts brushing her teeth.]
Evelyn (from the bedroom): It’s a nice day out. We should do something fun today! Windenburg’s going to get a lot of rain soon.
Audreyanna Can’t. Long day at work, then a dinner obligation that I unfortunately can’t skip.
Evelyn: Dinner? Ooh, who with?
Audreyanna (mumbling around her toothbrush): I’ll tell you later.
Evelyn: That’s too bad. I’ll see if any of the kids want to take a walk with me after school.
[Evelyn goes downstairs and looks at the house’s shared calendar.]
Evelyn: Or not, I guess. Soccer practice, shifts at work...“prior commitment”? Thanks for being cryptic, Josh.
Audreyanna (from upstairs): Can you—
Evelyn: Make you a cup? Sure, though I’m not sure how you heard me from all the way up there. Morning, Heather.
Heather (rushing out of the house): Sorry, can’t talk. Rani’s waiting for me so we can take the train together.
Evelyn: What about the others?
Heather: Already left!
Scene 2 - Outside 28 Windslar
[The two foster moms sit on a swinging bench on their patio, drinking coffee.]
Evelyn: Kids all gone?
Audreyanna: Yep. Don’t think we’ve had the house to ourselves since we moved in. I like it.
Evelyn: Forgot to tell you—I’m taking Bobbie to the petting zoo in a few hours.
Audreyanna: Let me guess: your brother begged you to get her out of the house?
Evelyn: Yeah, but I don’t blame him. She’s antsy to start school, but she has to wait until the fall. That’s forever to a five-year-old.
Audreyanna: No kidding.
Evelyn: And now it’s my turn to guess. You’re having dinner with your dad, aren’t you?
[Audreyanna is silent.]
Evelyn: Busted.
Audreyanna: It’s not what you think, okay? We haven’t spoken since Christmas. I’m still low-contact. A dinner is...a concession.
Evelyn (sipping from her mug): Mm.
Audreyanna: A way to keep him at a respectable distance. I don’t want him to come poking around in my life. You remember how that went last time.
Evelyn: Audreyanna, you’re almost fifty.
Audreyanna: Don’t I know it.
Evelyn: I’m just saying that, at this point, you can put your foot down. We’re not little girls anymore.
Audreyanna (pulling Evelyn to rest against her chest): C’mere. You’re too far away.
Evelyn: Trying to be cute isn’t going to change my mind.
Audreyanna (pausing before speaking): You’re right, okay? But I need to do this on my own time. Ever since Mom died, the thought of finally pulling away has been too painful for me to even think about.
Evelyn: I could come with you, if you’d like.
[Audreyanna snorts.]
Evelyn: Hey, don’t laugh. Anyone facing down dinner with your father and Brylee needs major moral support.
Audreyanna: I appreciate the offer. Honest. But this is something I need to do on my own. And I love you, babe, but even you can’t handle Brylee.
Evelyn: Hmph. That’s what you think.
18 notes · View notes
solarisrasa · 1 year ago
Text
Heart's Balm, Soul's Harbor
At twelve years old, Alexander Lightwood received a gift he neither wanted nor asked for: The Warlock Magnus Bane and his daemon.
With his own daemon unsettled and Magus Bane's status as High Warlock and enemy of the Clave, Alec makes a choice to free the man, only to realize too late that his daemon cannot be freed with him.
Rating: M
Word Count: 19k
Warnings: metaphysical assault, kidnapping, minor descriptions of violence/blood
Ship: Malec
Huge thank you to my beta @forensicsisabelle who even jumped on this morning to edit the last bit, since I am perpetually running late <3 You've been a gem and kept my comma's straightened out!
Art by the absolutely amazing @cam-ryt who has been very lovely even though we're both very busy!
This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2023: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver
Find it in the collection here
When Alexander Lightwood was twelve years old, he gained a terrible secret, he stole something sacred from another.
Well, not quite stole it, exactly. He kept it, without consent or permission, yes, but it was all to keep the other safe.
But that's the wrong place to start. To start, it was Alec's birthday, and he was turning twelve, and there were gifts...
The morning came crisp and clear and Alec was already dreading it. Birthdays were meant to be exciting, as Izzy always reminded him, time to celebrate and have cake. She was always thrilled for her birthday, but she was the younger of them, and their parent's didn't do the same things. 
Also, Izzy liked parties and people. Alec would prefer just his friends, Jace and Izzy and maybe a few of the boys he sometimes had lessons with, but that never worked out. His parents were determined to prove their eldest was growing into a strong Shadowhunter and someone who could one day lead the institute. Alec's birthday was as much about showing off their own abilities as leaders as Izzy's birthdays were about celebrating her. Jace's birthday was a quiet thing the last two years, though there was still a display of weapons, and his twelfth birthday would be just as big as Alec's, but he was allowed time to adjust to people. Not that he needed it, Jace would be the darling of the evening, and Alec much preferred that. Mostly.
This year he was old enough to take missions. His party, accordingly, was a political affair. Families with children in his age group or slightly older were invited, as he would patrol with their kids and someday, if his mother was right, lead them.
The dread only intensified when his daemon, Ranimirus, curled closer to him. A male daemon was rare for a male Shadowhunter, and Rani stayed quiet most of the time to keep their secret. Even his parent's didn't know. Izzy, with her curiosity, had guessed, though Alec had never confirmed it and was careful to keep Rani away from her daemon. Jace just knew, but that was okay. Jace had kept every one of Alec's secrets, and his own daemon, Kaie, was Rani's favored friend. Rani, a cozy puffball that was curled in against Alec's throat, made a face like he expected to be reprimanded and promptly changed into a sparrow.
Alec closed his eyes. "You didn't settle."
"No," came the little bird voice, sad and frustrated.
"It's alright. It's probably my fault," Alec said, holding his hands out for his daemon to land in, nuzzling against the little bird who chirped reproachfully at his self-deprecation.
"Lots us people's daemons don't settle until they’re a little older," Rani told him, even though they both knew that his parents were going to be disappointed. They said that a settled daemon by hunting age was a sign of a good, strong leader.
"We could pretend," Alec nearly whispered.
Rani fluttered into the air, changing to a magpie and croaking out a sound of distress. He was right, Alec was never good at holding his emotions fully in check on his birthday, though he did well enough that only Rani's unsettled form gave him away. It would hurt Rani to try and hold back the natural shifts that reflected Alec's changing moods, deep as they ran. 
"I suppose starting the day by disappointing them isn't that unusual," he said, watching Rani's form shrink until he was a tiny hummingbird, colors all muted brown.
"Do you remember, before?" Rani asked him, his tone gone strange. It was the same voice he used when he was asking Alec questions only a daemon could know to ask, one's that dug at Alec's heart and made him think.
He closed his eyes, recalling the feeling of his mother's hugs and laughter, his father's large hand steadying him instead of pushing him. It was warm and safe to be with them and there was a hazy recollection of a cake with candles, his mother singing. There were four candles on the cake.
"No," he lied. Rani dropped onto his shoulder, a moth now, barely bigger than his thumbnail.
-
Late into the evening, with Alec and Jace sitting on the back steps, both sweaty and tired after their weapons display for the party, a man drew near with his mother.
"Jace, go find some water for the two of you," Maryse commanded, with a slight smile for her adopted son. Jace's gaze darted between the three of them, Kaie shuffling uneasily on his shoulder. She was a gorgeous falcon who rarely changed anymore, and Alec felt the pang of knowing Jace would outstrip him in this too. 
"Jace," Maryse repeated, smile drying up.
"Going, going." Jace held up his hands and shot Alec an eye roll at their mother's antics before dashing inside.
Alec knew, as well as Jace did, that his mother wanted him alone. Her wolf daemon, Soledad, paced a neat perimeter behind him as soon as Jace left. 
She sat primly on the step beside him, tugging her skirt into place, and the man with her, half-familiar to Alec, came to stand looming over them. His daemon was a magpie with greedy black eyes that hopped along behind him as he walked. It looked much crueler than Rani's own magpie form that morning, and its beak was held open strangely.
"This is John, Alec. He's come from Idris to celebrate your birthday and he has a gift for you." 
The man, John (undoubtedly another Johnathan, for there were many among Shadowhunters), gave him a distasteful look but dipped his head in greeting just the same.
"Thank you for making the journey, your presence is gift enough," Alec recited, aware of what his mother expected of him. "Any further gift you bring is appreciated and welcomed."
John's distaste lightened some, an appraising light entering his eyes instead, and Alec hated that more. With a practiced motion, he drew his stele through the air just behind his daemon and a large cage shimmered into place, unglamoured now. The magpie daemon was holding a rope connected to the cage, clearly pulling it along. Now that it was visible the bird’s mouth hanging open didn’t seem so odd. Alec forced himself to look at the cage, pushing down the shocked flush of heat, anger and shame, that rose in his chest. 
Curled together in the bottom of the cage, limbs pressed uncomfortably against the bars, were a man and his daemon. They were both unconscious and the man was covered in an ill-fitting, thin plain brown shirt and pants. His daemon was some kind of large cat, its thick fur was marbled black and brown, and Alec thought it was almost as beautiful as the man. He immediately stopped looking at them, schooling his expression into something neutral as best he could. Rani was beside him, a small brown cat himself with fur tufted in a display of discomfort that Alec quickly stepped in front of to hide.
"Is that-?" Maryse started, and Alec watched his mother closely. She sounded shocked, and though her expression was one of mild interest, he thought there was some frightened thing in her eyes.
John grinned, a wide display of his teeth that drew a soft hiss from Rani. "It is. Magnus Bane, the High Warlock. My men caught him and his daemon two days ago, and I thought he was a fitting gift for your heir. After all, the Lightwoods have a long history with Bane."
Maryse leaned down, like she wanted a better look, but Alec didn't miss the strange, regretful look in her eyes. He didn't want to know. He wished John had never been invited, he wished he could have a quiet birthday again, with cake and candles and his family smiling. He wished-
Rani's claws caught his pant leg before the thought could fully form, his little cat body trembling and his eyes wide.
Alec would think it again, many times.
He wished he never had another birthday.
-
When everyone was asleep, the guests mostly gone except those close enough to his parents to have stayed late talking and eventually sleeping, Alec and Jace snuck to the room where his mother had bid John to put the caged warlock. The cage only held his daemon now, the cat was curled tightly, but when the door opened a pair of golden eyes flashed in the sliver of witchlight from Jace's cupped palms. The cat came to its feet all at once, mouth open and teeth showing with a hiss.
"Raziel," Jace swore as Alec stumbled back into him, Rani and Kaie as falcons quietly flapping in alarm overhead. The cat's teeth were huge.
"Hush Cahya," a rough voice said in the dark to the right of the cage, a hand coming into the witchlight with ruined nail polish glittering as it reached for the daemon, tugging to a stop just out of range. A manacle, silvery and hard to look at, gleamed in the light, and the daemon, Cahya, twisted so its long tail slid through the bars and touched the hand.
"Come to see the captured monster?" the voice continued as Jace let the witchlight fill the room.
It was the warlock, Magnus, who sat on a bare cot with his feet chained to the wall, allowing him enough motion to kneel or lay on the bed but not enough to properly stand. He had dark hair, and Alec was struck again by his pretty features, though he looked exhausted and bitter.
"Alec can come see you if he wants to, you're-" Jace started, with his usual heat. He was offended at something, though Alec had no idea what this captured man could've done.
"Jace," Alec said, voice soft. Behind them on the floor, Rani bumped Kaie gently. Both Jace and his daemon understood immediately. Alec needed a moment.
Jace handed him the witchlight and turned to guard the door, Kaie fluttering up to his shoulder as he went.
Magnus watched this with a small frown, and Alec noted his eyes were like his daemon's, yellow-gold with slit pupils that thinned in the light. He waited until he was sure Jace was outside before he spoke again. "This is Rani."
Rani changed into a small black and white monkey and waved one little hand. "Hello."
If Magnus thought the daemon's distinctly male voice was strange, he didn't show it, only looked suspiciously between them.
"Is it okay with the two of you, if Rani checks to see if, if your daemon is hurt?" Alec asked, hands held out from his body, the witchlight sitting in his open palm.
"I am not injured," a smoky female voice said. "I am only weak because the bars are filled with your angel metals, and I do not have the flesh of nephilim in my teeth."
Alec didn't flinch at that, though Rani backed away from the cage a little. He wouldn't blame them for being angry. He didn't understand how his parents could've accepted this in the first place, why they had allowed John to give him a person. Even if the downworld was nearly at war with the Clave, even if his mother and father had been a touch too close to Valentine before he died, this was...this was wrong.
He took a deep, shuddering breath, "Okay. Rani won't go near you. Are you alright, Magnus?"
Magnus gave him a long look, the bitter, wary twist to his mouth softening some. "Oh, grand, thanks, very nice cell here. Tell whoever set it up I hope they choke." He sounded very sweet at the end there and Alec's lip twitched a little, though his heart was still hammering. Cat eyes focused on him, "You know my name. Who are you?"
Alec sighed, "Alec. I'm-" He remembered John's words, the Lightwood's had a history with Magnus Bane. He remembered his mother's uncharacteristic regret, her fear. The feeling of something deeply wrong settled in deeper.
"I'm Alec Lightwood. A man gifted you to me for my twelfth birthday. I don't know why, but I-" There was a rapid knock, Jace signaling him they needed to go. Rani darted to him, running up his leg and settling on his shoulder as Magnus stared at him, mouth slightly open and something dark and angry in his eyes.
Alec hurried toward the door, looking back long enough to make a promise to Cahya and Magnus, "I will get you out."
-
"We can't," Jace hissed, back in his room. Alec was sitting on the end of Jace's bed, Rani curled around his shoulders as a mink.
"It's dangerous," Kaie added, her voice soft, pained. She hopped closer to Alec on the bed, never touching, but close. "We've seen those cuffs before. They're keeping his magic contained. It's almost impossible to remove them without the right key."
Alec bit his lip, he knew his eyes were already rimmed red. He was trying very hard not to snap at either of them, he knew they were just as frightened as he was, even if Jace was trying to hide it. They knew, more than anyone, what Shadowhunters might do to a captive warlock. Valentine had kept Jace, had taught him and raised him and tortured him. They knew.
"What if we find the key?" Rani's voice came, muffled against his throat, but clear enough.
"They won't stop hunting him," Jace pointed out.
Alec curled tighter in on himself where he sat, and Jace sighed, falling to sit beside him. They were kids, though only barely by Nephilim standards, and they didn't know what to do.
"What about..." Kaie started and then fluttered her wings, to whisper quietly between them, "What about Ragnor?"
The warlock who had been a teacher, who lived at the edge of Idris and who was known for killing Shadowhunters on the spot if they approached without warning. The Clave left him alone, partially because too many of their number remembered him as a teacher, a friendly face, and partially because it was said his friends could set Idris aflame.
Jace looked thoughtful, and Alec rubbed his hands together slowly, thinking over the suggestion. If they could see Ragnor, he could help and more than that, if the rumors were true he might even come get Magnus himself, and they wouldn't be in any trouble. Except, Alec didn't like the idea of putting someone else in danger. 
"Tomorrow," Jace started. "Tomorrow we can ask Maryse, tell her we want to go into Brocelin together, to work on our connection. Ragnor's is reachable if we follow the edge of the forest, and no one will bother sticking around to watch us out there."
Kaie clicked her beak. "The wolf packs have been forced deep into the forest, so there's barely any danger."
Alec let out a breath slowly, pressing his hands together harder even as Jace nudged him with his shoulder. Rani pressed his soft nose tight to Alec's throat in response to the dizzy feeling that was making Alec's extremities tingle. 
"If we ask tomorrow, hopefully she lets us go soon. I don't think it's a good idea to let Magnus stay here too long." Alec looked at Jace as he spoke and found his best friend looked as grim as he felt at the prospect.
-
Izzy woke them, her cloud of dark hair a messy tangle as she jumped on them both where they'd fallen asleep on Alec's bed. Chilo nearly blended in with the dark strands where he was laying over her shoulders. He made a displeased flicking motion with his forked tongue as her rambunctious bouncing dislodged him and he changed into a sparrow just in time to avoid smacking into Jace's face.
"Iz!" Jace said, rolling away from her as she laughed, ignoring Alec grumbling in annoyance.
"C'mon, c'mon! Mom wants everyone down for breakfast!" she said, poking repeatedly at Alec's arm until he was moving fast enough for her. Jace was spared the prodding because he rolled to his feet and quickly fled, Kaie soaring after him.
"I'm going, Iz," Alec said, swatting half-heartedly at his little sister's sharp fingered hands. 
"Dad wants to talk to you about your presents, he said. I don't know why, they were all boring. You got soooo many books, and not even ones about swords or anything!" She flopped back on his bed with a huff and Chilo landed on her chest as a ferret, wiggling everywhere.
"We need to comb our hair!" he told her, and Izzy giggled as Alec tried to keep the worry off his face. His father wanting to talk about gifts wasn't good. His stomach felt tight, and he had to swallow before he could speak to Izzy.
"See? You're in here annoying me, and you're not even ready for breakfast," he said, hoping she wouldn't notice how tight his voice sounded.
"You take longer," she said, sticking her tongue out at him for good measure and then running away.
Rani hummed in worry, still a furry scarf at Alec's throat.
"I know. We need to though, we can't be weird about it or it could be bad for helping Magnus." He raised a hand and brushed against Rani's copper fur, the same shade it was the night before. He felt a flare of hope, but then Rani was shifting under his hands. He turned into a lizard the length of Alec's palm and climbed into his hair, settling comfortably.
The hope Rani had settled crumbled again, and Alec tried to forget it as he dressed. There was more to worry about.
-
His father was waiting for him in the hallway where Magnus was being kept. He was staring off into the distance while his coyote daemon paced around his legs. Both of them seemed unsettled and Alec braced himself.
"Dad?" 
Robert blinked, and both he and Tristana turned toward Alec like he was unexpected, even though they'd asked for him.
"Alec. Good. There's something we need to do with your gift from John," his father said, like they weren't talking about a person. 
Alec gritted his teeth and felt Rani's little body twist in his hair, no doubt trying to hold himself in check. He managed to nod and his father reached for the door, only to hesitate with his fingers inches from the door.
"It won't hurt them," Robert assured him, and the sick feeling in Alec's stomach lessened a little.
"It's just a way to make sure they won't run away." Robert nodded once, not looking at Alec, and opened the door.
Magnus was sitting on the cot, his back against the wall. The circles under his eyes looked deeper and more like bruises in the overhead spill of diffused witchlight than they had the night before. In the cage, Cahya was only a pair of hateful eyes watching them over her paws, her long tail tucked close to her body.
"I don't know if John told you who-" his father started, not bothering to greet Magnus or his daemon in any way. Tristana stayed in the doorway behind Alec, blocking him in.
Alec swallowed his fear, forcing himself to meet Magnus' eyes.
"Magnus Bane. The High Warlock. He said he thought he was a fitting gift for the Lightwood heir." Alec's voice was flat, and he knew his expression was as empty as he could manage. The tiny light in Magnus' eyes dimmed, and Alec very, very carefully didn't look at his father as Rani turned into a miniscule snake and sunk little fangs into Alec's scalp, both of them working to stay grounded.
Robert stepped in front of Cahya's cage, and Magnus broke eye contact with Alec, staring at his father instead, his face cool.
"Robert. Good to know you're as pathetic as ever, other men giving your son gifts well above his worth." Magnus made a show of stretching. "Maryse was always the one of you with any real talents, sad that your heir-" He raked Alec with a look of disdain that Alec pointedly didn't react to, "-seems to have taken after you."
Alec loved his father. Once, when he was much smaller, he had dreamed of being like his father with his kind smile and his gentle hands. Then he had begun to grow and understand. His father was weak, the smile was empty, and what Alec had thought was gentle was Robert's inability to commit himself, a fluttering and uncertain way of touching everything. The only times his father showed strength was with Maryse beside him, and even that was more a muted support of her. Magnus couldn't know the way his words twisted in Alec's chest, and if he did, well...Alec supposed he might have earned them.
He could have tried harder to get Magnus out the night before. If he was really good the way he wanted to be, he would have taken Jace's original advice, before they'd snuck in to see Magnus, he would have gone in with a sword and damn anyone in the way. He swallowed against what had felt like smart caution in the dark but seemed more like cowardice in the light.
Robert didn't respond to Magnus, he was opening a small cupboard built into the wall just out of reach of Cahya's cage. 
"John was testing us. He's done quite well, politically, but your mother and I are in a better position with the new consul. The unrest in the Downworld and the tightening of Idris' borders means that those of us who can do what must be done are gaining value. I don't know how John caught Bane, though I plan to find out-" Alec had to swallow fear and he saw the way Cahya's lips pulled back at the threat, "-but I know that he didn't seriously believe we could hold him. Magnus Bane is the High Warlock for a reason. He's terribly dangerous, and giving him as a gift to you is ridiculous." 
Robert brought down a bowl and a bottle with thick grey something in it, holding it so Magnus couldn't see it.
"Giving him to Jace might've made some sense, but it's well known that you aren't as strong as your brother." He unstopped the bottle and poured it into the bowl. "Magnus would have you in his palm within a week. But, John has never understood that Lightwoods stick together. You might be too weak alone, but I can help." 
Alec's muscles were locked so tight he was surprised he hadn't fallen over. His father had always made it apparent he preferred Jace, but never had he so plainly called Alec weak and lesser. Doing it here, in front of a captured man, was probably his father's idea of making a point, of motivating Alec to work harder. Worse, whatever they were in there for was going to make it harder to free Magnus.
"Give me your hand." 
Alec did, unable to think around the hurt and confusion and fear.
Robert slashed his palm, adding his blood to the bowl. Alec watched it drip in and distantly remembered his lessons, the way that Nephilim saw blood magic. His father taking his blood like this was a terrible taboo and a worse violation. 
Rani fluttered in his hair, a swallow suddenly. 
"Perfect." Robert's hand closed around his daemon and Alec's vision went strange, he swore he heard Magnus crying out, but couldn't focus. It felt like someone had shoved something cold and awful down his throat and squeezed his heart. Then there was a tugging and some part of him twisted over itself and he was falling.
Alec landed on his side on the floor, and Rani fell next to him, both of them shuddering and gasping as Rani changed into the smallest moth he could and pressed against Alec's pulse. There was the sound of something growling and hissing and chains and yelling, but he couldn't make out words. He sucked in another breath and his stomach lurched and then he was rolling on instinct, vomiting on the floor. He stared at it, trying to get his breath back and understand what his father had just done to him.
He looked up, feeling the way that spit and vomit were on his face and tears were running messily down his cheeks.
His father wasn't looking at him. Instead he was working on whatever was in the bowl together. He looked toward Magnus and found the warlock already looking at him, his face twisted in disgust. It didn't seem like disgust at Alec, rather for him. 
"I'm sorry," his father said, and Alec's head snapped back to him. He was filling a large syringe, one of the types without a needle, from the bowl. The liquid was thick and pink, probably from the blood in it, and it was hard to reconcile it, the shuddery terror still coursing through Alec, the captive in the room, all of it, with one of his mother's plain white bowls, the same kind Alec ate cereal out of most mornings. 
Robert turned to the cage, and Magnus and Alec both moved. Alec tried to crawl forward, his head swimming, and Magnus lurched to the end of his chains. 
"Wait-" Alec moaned, dragging himself upright. He tried to get to his feet, but it was too much too fast and blackness rushed in over the sight of his father reaching for the caged daemon.
-
Ragnor had let them in only after a wall of flame that rolled over both him and Jace. It hadn't hurt them, only left a terrible taste in their mouths and left Alec feeling especially off balance, though that was easier to do since his father's hand had closed around Rani two days ago. Jace slung an arm around his shoulders and pulled him toward the door a scowling green warlock was holding open impatiently.
"Well, neither of you are here to kill me, capture me, torture me, or bore me, so out with it," Ragnor, because that was the only person the green man with horns could possibly be, barked at them. He dropped into a chair, a cup of tea and saucer finding their way into his hands as part of the movement in a way that Alec honestly couldn't say was magic. His daemon was nowhere to be seen.
"We're here about Magnus Bane," Jace said.
The teacup clicked harshly against the saucer, and Ragnor set both aside, magic misting visibly over his hands. "What's the Clave want with the High Warlock?"
Jace opened his mouth to reply, hand still resting on the hilt of his blade, and Alec decided now was the time to step in.
"We're not here because the Clave sent us. No one else knows we've come to see you." Ragnor's eyebrows raised, and there was a spark of meanness in his eyes that Alec didn't acknowledge. "A man captured Magnus Bane and his daemon-"
"Ridiculous." Ragnor cut him off, relaxing back in his chair. "Magnus? Maybe. Magnus and Cahya? No. Cahya's got every bit of sense between them, and she would never allow it." 
Alec and Jace shared a look, uncomfortable with correcting Ragnor, but aware they needed to make him believe them.
"I don't know much about them, but a few days ago was my birthday, and another Shadowhunter I'd never met brought me a gift. He said it was because of my family's history with Magnus Bane. He gave Magnus and Cahya to me. I've seen them. We spoke to Magnus, we snuck into the room my mother put them in to check on them that night." Alec swallowed. He didn't want to explain what had happened with his father, he hadn't even told Jace about it yet.
Ragnor's green skin went very pale as he sat forward again, his eyes sharp. "You're absolutely certain Magnus wasn't casting an illusion? Warlocks and their daemons can travel very far from each other. He could be pretending that Cahya is with him."
Alec shook his head slowly, and Kaie spoke up from where she was perched on Jace's shoulder. "There was definitely a daemon in that room."
"She spoke to Rani," Alec said, gesturing to his sleeve where Rani clung as a sugar-glider. "Magnus was also wearing magic-sealing shackles, so he wouldn't be able to cast any spell, he can't even hide his mark. Please." Alec licked his lips and took a step closer to Ragnor.
"Please. We have to get him out."
Ragnor looked at him for a long moment, then to Jace. His expression was grave when he nodded. "Of course we do. He's a major leader of the downworld...and my best friend, fool that I am."
Jace cleared his throat, his hand no longer on the hilt of his weapon. "If we free him, Maryse and Robert aren't going to just write it off. They're going to want to get him back, preferably before anyone realizes he's gone, and if they can't do that..."
Alec swallowed hard. "It would be a huge embarrassment to them. They wouldn't stop hunting him, to prove themselves again. My father is convinced Magnus was given to me as a test. He did something with my blood and...more, to keep them bound."
He didn't know what the potion, because that's what it had to be, his father had made actually did, but he figured it was worth mentioning, if they were going to succeed in freeing Magnus. Ragnor didn't seem so concerned about it though, as he gestured for them to sit, finally.
"We'll have to plan to get Magnus out of his chains. You'll need his help. The best way to ensure that he isn't forced to spend the next decade running from the Clave, and the most helpful thing for the Downworld as well, is to fake his death. You understand, of course, that if we do this neither of you can breathe a word, not under duress, not ever?" He stared at each of them in turn.
Kaie made a soft sound, shuffling, and Jace nodded. Alec pressed a fist to his heart, a Shadowhunter gesture of promise. "Not even with a hand on the sword." 
Ragnor sat back again, watching them without a word for long enough that Jace started to fidget.
"I'm trusting you with much. If your intentions were anything less than pure, the flames you crossed would've killed you. You will have to pass through them again when you leave."
Alec didn't have any doubt as he nodded, and beside him he felt Jace do the same. They had agreed, ages ago, that they wanted to help. They were supposed to hold the line against the darkness, not kill anyone who didn't fit their worldview, not police the Downworld. Jace, especially, wanted to earn redemption that Alec didn't think he needed, after being raised by Valentine. The man was dead, but his ideology was rampant in the Clave, re-skinned and made palatable as "for the greater good" and "for their own good."
Maybe, Alec thought, as the three of them began to plan, this was the first step for Jace and him toward something bigger.
Cahya was limp at the foot of his bed. Her breathing was labored, her body curled tight and trembling, and Alec was pressed against his headboard, watching her as he tried to get himself under control before someone came looking for them.
His hands were shaking. Pressed close to his heart, Rani was a tiny moth, wings fluttering lightly against him and their bond thrumming with worry. 
Magnus was free. Enough blood, a man literally burst into pieces and strewn around the room, another glamoured to look like the warlock and locked into one of the shackles, and it was a believable failed escape attempt. They—Magnus, Alec, and Jace—had agreed that Jace was the more believable option. Even now he was reporting to Robert and Maryse what had happened, how he'd been passing by with Alec and heard a commotion, how they had watched Magnus obliterate his guards, and how Jace had managed to slip in fast enough to stab Cahya, how the daemon had burst into golden sparks and the warlock had died instantly.
The real complication was explaining why Alec's daemon was a clouded leopard. 
It was the part that had failed.
Magnus had agreed to go only after Cahya had whispered with him frantically when they discovered she couldn't leave the boundary of the Lightwood estate. His dark eyes had been murderous, and Alec had easily promised to keep her safe. 
The door burst open, pulling him out of his reverie, and Cahya came to her feet, long teeth exposed in threat.
His mother stared, Soledad growling from her side, but Cahya was not Rani, who had learned to yield to the older daemon, and she didn't back down. Maryse's eyes darted from the daemon to Alec, and he couldn't read her at all. She was a stranger to him, more than ever before.
"What. is. that?" she asked, each word a blade.
Alec forced himself to set a hand on Cahya's back and hush her the same way he would've calmed Rani. His tongue felt too big in his mouth, and his fingers clenched in her fur against the wrongness of doing it. He forced down the feeling. He had to keep her safe.
"It's-"
Jace's angry voice came from behind her. "Alec!" Then his brother was pushing past her and Soledad, Kaie pointedly landing next to Cahya and pushing her beak through the fur of Cahya's face, a gesture she'd done to Rani a hundred times when Alec was stressed. It was bizarre to see it and not feel the comfort of it. Against his chest, Rani struggled to hold the smaller form.
"I told her you were in shock, that Rani had taken on the form because you've never seen a daemon die," Jace whispered to him quickly, hugging him tightly, and Alec was glad. He knew that his parents would never respect him, with the way they were painting this: Jace a hero and Alec a disappointment who couldn't control his emotions. Again.
"Sorry mother." Alec didn't dare make eye contact, speaking to Maryse's chin so she might not see the lie. "Rani won't change."
Maryse made a sound, not the disappointed or disgusted one he expected, but not pleased either. Soledad calmed and spoke softly, "Are you alright, Ranimirus?"
Alec felt dizzy with gratitude for his past self. Rani had hardly spoken, even to other daemons except Kaie, had barely tolerated touches from others, and that meant the Cahya's single nod wasn't strange, that Soledad did not try to touch her the way Kaie was. He knew that many parents and children, even among Shadowhunters, allowed their daemons to show some affection. Chilo was often carried by the scruff by Soledad or Tristana when Izzy was called to dinner or her bath, but Rani and Kaie had never allowed that approach. 
Jace and Kaie had been too scarred by their time with Valentine, who would hurt Kaie to punish Jace, and Alec...well. He and Rani were naturally withdrawn and they had secrets. 
"Alec?" his mother asked, her voice even.
"We'll be fine, Mother. I'm sorry about my present," he said. He carefully stroked his hand over Cahya's spine to hide the way her fur was raised.
"It is...regretful. Magnus Bane was-" She cut herself off, and Alec looked at her face, finally. She did not look at all as he expected. There was genuine regret in the twist of her mouth, and he'd swear it looked like there was moisture in her eyes, but still she smoothed a hand over her skirt.
"It was not your fault," she said. "No one could've held Magnus Bane for long, if he didn't want them too. I have informed the Clave, and they are calling a session. John never told them he captured Bane, and I'm sure that they'll be looking to your father and I for explanations now."
"What do you think will happen?" Alec asked, trying to keep to some sort of normalcy. He always asked after these things, his parent's talking to him after Clave meetings, preparing him for leadership. Jace groaned and slumped against him carefully, uncertain where Rani was hiding.
"I can't say, but I believe this may be the match that will ignite the Downworld. Magnus was much loved, and the Clave needs to come down hard on them. I expect that Idris will be fully sealed off and the Institutes called to war. If that's the case, your father and I will be needed to command, but you children will stay here to finish training." She smoothed her skirt again. "I will make what case I can if that's what it comes to, since Max is so young."
Alec's ears were ringing as he nodded. Maryse spared another look at Cahya and left them, Soledad following closely.
When they were gone, Alec snatched his hand away from Cahya, who turned to him as Kaie squalled and hopped away from her.
"I'm sorry. I-" Alec curled his hand against his chest, where Rani was.
"Peace, little Nephilim," Cahya said in her warm voice. "I am not angry with you. I know that you have both done what you can. If Idris is sealed, Magnus will not be able to come for me."
Alec slowly shook his head. "We may have started the war."
Jace sighed heavily, "Guess that means we'll have to end it too."
There was silence between them as the words hung in the air.
-
Part II: Eleven years later
Izzy spun a blade casually, her careful eye watching the way it moved through the air. Chilo was a glitter of danger curled close to her throat, his eyes half lidded despite the slow flickers of his tongue that told Alec he was paying perfect attention.
Beside her Jace was methodically sharpening his arming sword, his main blade already gleaming and deadly on the table in front of him. Kaie, a tiny glittering coat of adamas links catching the light as she moved, was sitting on the rafter over his head. 
Around them the New York Institute turned. 
Alec's Institute. 
The Clave had declared full scale war with the Downworld on the eve of his thirteenth birthday, though Idris' borders had been sealed since the day Magnus Bane was reported dead. His parent's had been sent to New York and Los Angeles, a Lightwood on either coast to coordinate as was fitting their status. Their children were confined to Idris until they were eighteen, even though most Shadowhunters took missions much sooner than that. It was all presented as some great reward for killing Magnus, but Alec knew it for what it was. 
They were being punished for pushing the Clave into all out war before they were ready, for inciting the Downworld. His family separated. He and Jace had to prove themselves time and again to earn the right to take the parabatai oath, and Izzy outclassed all the others in their age group in science and weapon smithing and still didn't have an official rank. 
And Max.
Aldertree had sworn that Max was an accident, that no one could have known the Brocelin wolves were so close to the boundary line. That Max was only separated from his class for a moment. Aldertree had come to them with bloody clothes and Max's pendant with the flames of the Lightwood crest and spun the story.
A message had reached Alec through hidden means, meant for the rebel leader known only as "The Raven" which Alec had chosen in quiet conference with Rani and Cahya in the early days. Naturally it had created a small issue for any Nephilim with a Raven daemon when the name had come to light, but that had been resolved easily. The message had told Alec, who had told Jace and Izzy, that Max was fine. He had been purposely dragged into Brocelin and the wolves there had stopped the adult Shadowhunter from hurting him, but in the fighting Max had been scratched. He was settled with a pack in New York and was safe. The letter asked that his family be informed, if the Raven believed they were trustworthy. It was signed with a cat eye symbol.
That was six years ago.
Now Alec was officially in control of the New York Institute. His parent's marriage hadn't survived Max's alleged death. 
At his side, Cahya matched his pace as he left his siblings to make another circuit of the ops room, checking in with his people and ensuring Underhill had nothing new to report. He was in charge of both normal security and the person through which Alec's spymaster reported, though Marna had little cause to check in recently. His daemon was a great Pyrenees named Fergal with a glowing white coat that Alec had watched snap a man's spine the first time Underhill had been in the field with him. 
Underhill nodded at him and Cahya as they passed but didn't signal that they needed to speak, and Alec decided to take a detour into his office. They were as ready as they could be, just waiting for more reports to come in before they made their stance official. Alec had been working toward this moment for years, his siblings, his daemon, and Cahya with him every step of the way. 
By the end of the week, the New York Institute was going to defect, and they wouldn't be alone. His staff was at least two-thirds members of the rebellion or sympathizers, and he was ready.
He was just nervous. 
As soon as they were clear of the Clave's eyes, as soon as they officially declared for the downworld and cut their core off from Idris' reach, they were going to invite the leaders of the downworld in. Most didn't know who, exactly, had filled the High Warlock position, but Alec was certain that if he personally sent the invite, Magnus would be the one to come, not his figurehead. 
After all, one of the reasons Magnus had played dead for so long was making herself comfortable on Alec's office rug. 
Alec scrawled a locking and silencing rune on the door to his office and turned on the device Izzy had gifted him to sweep for electronic surveillance outside of the Institute camera's. His office was personally warded against magical ones, and Cahya was able to sense those anyway. 
Once he was certain no one would be able to disturb them or see them, he sank to the floor beside Cahya, and Rani came out of her fur, a tiny moth that shifted into a cat as soon as he touched Alec, purring and rubbing against him. They could rarely do this, unable to risk being caught or Rani accidentally settling. They had managed thus far to hold off the settling, which Izzy teased was why Alec was single, he'd just never really grown up. Still, they could both feel the pressure of it when they touched, the way that Rani's body wanted to become what he was meant to be, and Alec's soul ached with it.
"Soon," Rani said, kneading Alec's arm with his paws, and Alec cuddled him close to his chest.
Cahya set her big head on Alec's knee, a comfort now instead of the twisting wrongness it would've been for anyone else. They had to touch often to sell the lie, and in battle it was important to communicate with quick touches since they didn't actually have any bond to tell them where the other was. In the first years, they had nearly been caught because one of them would start running and the other wouldn't notice right away. Now they moved together as naturally as Alec ever had with Rani. 
Alec loved Cahya. Rani did too. They would miss her like a limb, but she wasn't theirs.
Rani pressed his tiny nose into Alec's body, hiding his face against him and speaking, "What are we going to do after? I don't think I'm a leopard, and we can't never settle. How do we figure it out? How do we make plans without you, Cahya?"
Cahya laughed, her honey warm laugh rumbling against Alec's knee.
"No, I don't believe you are a leopard, little Rani. You and Alec will have to see what you become. I'm looking forward to knowing, though I have my guesses." 
Alec rolled his eyes at her, burying his fingers in Rani's fur to pet him with a shaking hand.
"We'll miss you," he told her softly.
She shuffled closer to him, her eyes warm. "I won't go forever. You and Jace would be hopeless without me."
Rani laughed. "Izzy can handle them awhile."
"Yes," she acquiesced, "A while. Then Magnus and I will come help."
Once she'd hardly spoken to them, hardly said Magnus' name. She used to sit at Alec's window and watch the gate, her long tail swaying in a slow sweep. Then Alec had nearly been killed, a training incident covering a clear attempt on his life. He'd been bleeding badly, clinging to consciousness with Jace frantically healing him. He'd tried to stop them, certain in his delirious bloodloss that if he died Cahya would be free. After all, she could go anywhere with him and nowhere alone, it made sense. 
She'd laid pressed close to him to hide Rani for days afterward, not letting anyone but Jace, Izzy, and Max close to him. She'd told him stories about Magnus then, about getting banned from Peru, about starting cults as a joke, about makeup and traveling and magic. 
When he'd healed, she spoke more, and once, after the world was quiet in the very early morning, told him she would rather live captive as she was than let him die.
"Do you think he'll like Alec?" Rani asked her, while Alec was thinking about the past.
Cahya made a pleased sound. "Oh yes. He'll have to learn, granted. He doesn't yet know how Alec has kept me safe, how much you've sacrificed, but yes. He'll learn fast how mushy you are."
Alec said, "Hey!" even as Rani nearly rolled out of his lap laughing. 
"Face it, you're a sap. Ask Jace if you don't believe me!" Cahya told him, and Alec groaned, accepting the blow to his dignity.
-
Eleven years ago
Magnus portalled to Catarina’s, not trusting the safety of his own home after his capture. Cat was on her feet in a second, a scatter of papers falling around her as she moved toward him, no magic in her hands; she recognized his magic anywhere.
Her hands were on him, grasping his shoulders and pulling him into a tight, quick hug. As soon as she released him, she was slapping at his arm with a frown that did nothing to hide her relief.
“Where the hell have you been, you little troublemaking idiot?”
Magnus tried for his usual devil-may-care flare; it hadn’t failed him, even when manacled in the Lightwood’s home. He could feel the way the grin pulled wrong though, undoubtedly an obvious tell for Catarina.
“Oh you know, out causing trouble for Shadowhunters.”
Catarina gave him a long look, “And, how, tell me, did you cause problems for them?”
Magnus shrugged, heading for her tan couch, “I made a daring escape from Idris with a trail of bodies in my wake, naturally.”
Catarina settled on the couch beside him, giving him a pointed look, “Magnus.”
He sighed heavily and decided to let her in. He always needed her, especially when he’d gotten himself into situations like this one. Especially when there was an ache where Cahya was supposed to be, his very soul still bound in Idris.
“I was put into a cage and made into a rather distasteful birthday gift for the Lightwood heir.”
Catarina gave a single slow nod, her eyes glittering with anger despite the measured way she moved and spoke, a nurse too used to dire proclamations for outburst. It settled Magnus, prone to dramatics as he so often was, to see her patiently waiting for him to continue.
“The party seemed dreadful too, poor thing. He was the one, well him and his brother, who orchestrated my escape. Sad to think they might grow into the sort of men who would’ve captured me in the first place.” Magnus tipped his head back, the weight of her gaze still on him. “Maybe I can see if they want to come away when I go back.”
The couch sunk under him slightly as Catarina leaned fully into his space, her blue face coming into his line of sight. 
“Why would you go back?” 
He could see in the tightness around her eyes and the downturn of her mouth that she had guessed why, but didn’t want to believe it.
“Cahya is still their unfortunate guest. Some magic Robert Lightwood used, some terrible binding spell that used the feathers of his son’s daemon, taken by force, kept her there. I couldn’t bring her further than the edge of the Lightwood’s’ manor grounds.” Magnus could remember perfectly the desperation in Cahya’s voice when he’d sprinted past her at the boundary line. The anger he was keeping banked at the thought of her still trapped with the nephilim flared at the memory and he forced himself to breathe through it. It wasn’t time yet for fire and ruin.
“You can’t go back,” Catarina told him, drawing him back to the moment with her as she sat back. 
“Without you, you mean?” It was a familiar tease, her and Ragnor refusing to let him run into trouble alone. 
“No. At all.” Catarina summoned a piece of heavy paper, Ragnor’s stationary, and held it out to him.
“Ragnor sent it just before you arrived. Idris has sealed their borders, it’s impossible to get in without a full scale assault.” She watched him reading carefully. “If you say go, I’ll be there with you, of course, and more the fool for it. The Downworld isn’t ready though. Idris is too well protected, the stolen magic they made the wards from is strong.”
Magnus read the damning message and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to center himself. Ragnor was on the very edge of the ward when it was activated and had since relocated to his home in England, but he’d seen enough. If Magnus wanted to march in and get Cahya back, it would be suicide.
They had to have sealed the place just after he cleared Idris’ portal tracking range, so barely a day after he left.
“Cahya’s on her own, for now,” Catarina said, squeezing his arm gently.
“No.” Magnus thought of the nephilim, of the Lightwood boy laying on the floor after his father’s assault, of his brother murdering Magnus’ captors without hesitation, of being in a cage with Maryse Lightwood’s troubled face looking in. “She’s not.”
-
The first time it happened was nearly a year later. 
Magnus was listening to three pack alpha’s try to civilly divvy up a safe house after being forced to relocate due to an uptick in Shadowhunter activity in New Jersey when he felt it. Like someone had poured ice water straight into his chest, at first. A hand closing around his throat even as an ache started deep within him, some barely known place inside suddenly exposed to harsh light.
He’d gasped, slumping in his chair, his hips twisting as he went limp despite the sprawled position not supporting his body well. The wolves had all frozen, eyes flashing in worry and the sharp sense of a predator in danger.
Someone was touching his daemon. 
Were they hurting her? Was she being used for something awful? Were they trying to-
It ended and he could breathe properly again. He wanted to sit and gather himself, but edgy, uncertain werewolves made poor company, so he straightened up and offered them a serene smile, ready to redirect their attention.
-
Eventually Magnus got used to it. Enjoyed it, sometimes, even. 
After the first few times it stopped feeling so terrible and strange, the initial rush of cold still came but less like ice water and more like a cool balm, the ache had calmed and was now only a sad reminder of how much he missed Cahya. Strangest of all, the feeling of a hand around his throat had morphed into a sensation like someone was gently touching him, a light and welcome feeling.
 It happened with more frequency as time went on, sometimes he’d pass entire days with the feeling, like someone was keeping a hand on Cahya constantly. 
-
Present day
Magnus could feel a nervous energy thrumming through New York. If The Raven was to be believed, it was because of the coming change. 
He sat, glamored as always, watching over his club as the day faded, hyper aware of the waning hour. Ten minutes to midnight. Ten minutes to rebellion. The Shadowhunters were declaring themselves at the turning of the day, what would be shortly after sunrise in Idris, when any active fighters would be ending their night. 
Magnus reached for the leylines around the city. He could feel the burning thrum of them as his warlocks tangled their magic with the power of the Earth. The Raven had sent him the notice of the New York Institute’s planned rebellion as a warning and courtesy. They had asked nothing of the Downworld, but Magnus believed in action and he had sent out both the warning of coming turmoil and a request. The warlocks knew only that Clave action was expected, and Magnus had asked them to be ready to raise a ward over the entire city if necessary. 
He wondered, as he often did, where in the mess Alec Lightwood would be. He knew that the man who had once been a boy helping Magnus run was head of the Institute, that he would know Cahya’s whereabouts. Magnus could only hope Alec was not going to be one of the Shadowhunters killed in tonight's upheaval. In his heart he dared to hope that maybe he would even be one of the rebels, but he had no way of knowing. Shadowhunter’s stayed well clear of Downworlders, except to kill them and the Institute Head was practically a ghost, even among Magnus’ clever watchers.  
The pulse of Pandemonium's music around him and the ebb and flow of the wards settled him. He waited.
At precisely midnight he felt the telling rush of coolness and comfort that meant hands were on his daemon. In the same breath a bright wash of angelic power flared in his awareness, the leylines rippling despite having no direct connection to it.
The core was severed from Idris. It was beginning.
He settled further back in his seat, magical awareness flaring out from him as he prepared to keep the watch for the night. Max Lightwood nodded at him across the dancefloor, his wolves would be prowling the night, keeping the mundanes safe from demons while the Shadowhunter’s worked. The vampires at their backs to help and to carry news with their speed.
Tonight, Magnus thought, New York was taking back its power. 
-
Sunrise came with a messenger.
Pandemonium had closed to mundanes in the wee hours, but Magnus had the doors open for his people and the news they carried.
The wards had been raised when Clave special forces were engaged. According to The Raven, the Institute was able to close their standing portals but couldn’t stop them from trying to come in from outside. Magnus had sent back the assertion that none of Idris’ forces would set foot in New York. 
Raphael had arrived with word that vampires could smell Nephilim blood for half a mile around the institute, and when he went to see, the front steps were wet with the stuff.
Now, a blonde man with a great white dog at his side and runes scrawled over his visible skin was standing just inside the entrance. He brought his hands up in front of his chest, wrists crossed, thumbs touching, the sign of The Raven.
Magnus waved him nearer, watching those who remained in Pandemonium as they tracked him across the floor. Max Lightwood melted out of the shadows nearest Magnus, his Jack Russell daemon, Amada, sitting calmly at his feet. Magnus did not send him away, even as he waved others back. Max had a right to know.
The blonde man stopped a respectable distance from the raised part of the floor where Magnus sat, patient. He stood calm, settled and ready to report, and Magnus got the impression he was a man used to following orders and waiting for instruction.
“Closer,” Magnus told him, watching as his eyes flicked over Magnus and to Max. There was no recognition there, so not someone who’d known Max as a child. 
He climbed the stairs, his daemon keeping stride.
“I greet you, High Warlock.” He dipped his head, and when Magnus said nothing, continued. “Commander Lightwood requests the presence of the leaders of New York to coordinate our next actions and swears to uphold truce within the city.”
Magnus raised an eyebrow, aware of Max practically vibrating beside him at the mention of his family.
“Commander Lightwood is not the person who I would speak to.” 
The blonde’s lips curled a bit before he schooled his expression, but the flash of a smile made Magnus curious.
“The Raven, then, asks you to come. In one hour. He also asks that a message be carried to-” Here he glanced again at Max, and Magnus made an impatient gesture. Still uncertain, the man leaned closer, his words a whisper, “Magnus Bane, he’s asked to come as soon as he can.”
Magnus felt the breath rush out of him. To know that he lived, The Raven could only be one of two people, and with the way his messenger spoke, it was clear who it must be. The invite to him specifically… He swallowed the hope that burned bright.
“Very well. Tell your commander I will come. As for the other, no promises.”
With a relieved nod, the man went to leave, only for Max to come forward.
“Please. Can I come back with you? Only me.” 
Magnus watched as the two looked at each other, the blonde deeply suspicious and Max desperate. He spoke up.
“This is Max Lightwood. He only wants to see his brother.”
A spark of recognition, and the blonde smiled, relaxing some, though Magnus noted his daemon didn’t loosen at all. “They’ll be happy to see you. I’m Andrew and you can come with me.”
Max gave Magnus a quick smile and then the two were leaving.
Magnus closed his eyes, he had a meeting to get ready for. 
-
The Morning After
Alec watched the infirmary staff moving smoothly between beds, looking over those who were hurt badly enough in the fighting to still be bedridden. Most were well on the mend, runic healing and rest working double time. The dead numbered too many, though fewer than Alec had expected and mostly from the Claves forces. 
The front steps would need to be replaced from the amount of blood that had coated them as his people had fought to keep their home safe. 
It was worth it. The Downworld had come together outside, the warlocks’ wards kept Idris from sending more reinforcements, and Alec had checked this morning to see the night demon activity had all been more or less handled while they’d been out of commission. 
He pushed off the wall where he was leaning, ignoring the glare one of the medics gave him as they moved past him. Helen and her little fox daemon could give him looks all they liked, he wasn’t going to spend anymore time in a bed of his own. There was too much for him to do. 
He’d no sooner had the thought than a familiar shadow swooped over him. Kaie landed on Cahya’s head, ignoring her growl. Jace’s hand landed on Alec’s shoulder a moment later.
“If you’re going to stand around in here, you might as well let them treat you. I can tell you’re still hurting.” 
Alec grunted and shrugged his hand off. “I was only stopping by to check how we’re doing. I’m fine, nothing my iratze isn’t already taking care of. Obviously.”
Jace gave him a long look, assessing. They both knew if he was truly hurt badly enough to need care that Rani would be in danger of revealing them. The few times it had happened, including when Alec had tried to die to free Cahya, Rani had lost control of their form, shifting too fast to stay hidden. A side effect, they all assumed, of Alec’s iron will resisting the settling. Still, Jace was twice as bad about accepting care, and Alec wasn’t about to listen to him.
Before he could say anything else, Underhill stuck his head in and upon seeing them both nodded sharply.
“Commander Lightwood. My message was delivered and a commitment from the High Warlock returned. She’ll be here for a meeting.” 
Alec kept his expression carefully controlled at the pronoun, uncertain who he’d be dealing with if Magnus didn’t show.
“There’s someone else that accompanied me who wants to meet with you. Both of you, and Isabelle, in a non-official capacity. I have him waiting in your office.” Underhill looked like he was biting back a smile this time and Alec raised an eyebrow. 
“Who?” Jace cut in, his wariness clear as Kaie fluttered to his shoulder. 
Underhill did smile this time. “A young Alpha, Max Lightwood.”
Alec felt his heart leap into his throat at the thought of his little brother and he could see his own eagerness mirrored in Jace, feel it in the way their heartbeats fell into sync again. 
“I’ll go find Isabelle and send her along,” Underhill reassured them, clearly reading their impatience to see Max. 
-
Jace followed so close he was practically stepping on Alec’s heels when he let them into his office. Cahya hung back and gave a small nod to the door, letting Alec know she would stand guard for them. It relaxed him enough to focus on the room, knowing only Izzy and Chilo would be allowed to pass.
Standing with his hands clasped behind his back in a familiar pose, sandy brown hair long enough to curl at the nape of his neck, and taller than Alec expected, was Max. He turned to face them at Jace’s wordless exclamation and looked shocked as Jace closed the distance between them to pull him into a tight hug, Kaie excitedly hopping around Amada who let out a happy bark. 
As soon as Jace let him go, Alec stepped in, less abrupt but no less intense in how he hugged Max. They’d all missed him and the years in between did little to stop the wetness that gathered in Alec’s eyes as he embraced his little brother.
“I thought you weren’t going to be a tree like this asshole.” Jace said, grinning at Max.
He shrugged but his eyes weren’t dry either and his own smile looked almost painfully wide. “Werewolf thing, maybe?” He looked at them both, like he couldn’t believe it. At his feet Amada and were whispering quickly to each other, catching up faster than their people.
“Where’s Rani?” Max asked, when the silence had dragged on, and Alec realized he hadn’t said a word yet.
“In the hallway.” It was the truth, Rani was buried in Cahya’s fur, as always. “Angel, but we’ve missed you, Max. You’re safe?”
Max rolled his eyes in tandem with Jace’s slight huff. “Yes, Alec, I’m old enough to take care of myself, and besides, Downworlders look out for each other, doubly so the wolves. I have my own pack now! It’s small but we’re happy. We live together in Brooklyn.”
Alec sighed and smiled again. “I’m glad. You’ll have to tell us about-”
Izzy burst through the door, cutting him off as she flew across the room to wrap Max in her arms, Chilo rising from her shoulders to taste the air around their little brother.
“Max! You’re all grown up!” Izzy stepped back with a teary laugh. “How’s life on the other side?”
“He’s an Alpha now, Iz,” Jace said, watching Max glare at him for stealing his thunder.
“And a bartender,” he hurried to say. “I work for the High Warlock, and normally I’d be too young still, but Mag is cool about it since I don’t try to drink and I let myself be glamored to look a little older.”
“A bartender?” Alec asked, remembering the limited times he’d even seen the outside of a club, mundane or otherwise. It didn’t seem like the safest profession, but then again, Max was a werewolf.
“Oh! If you’re friends with the High Warlock, you can say hi. She’s waiting for Alec right now,” Izzy said, not looking away from Max. It was something Alec could relate to. He felt like leaving  Max now, he might never see him again, but duty was calling him.
“She…is?” Max sounded a little uncertain but then he nodded. “You’ll like her, even if she is a little…dramatic.” 
Alec resisted the urge to sigh, the ache of his shoulders and his ribs was a enough reminder how done with anything dramatic he was. 
“I’m sorry, I should meet her. You can stay though, please.” Alec gestured to the space, giving up his office for his siblings was easy. He wanted the Downworld leaders to see a little of his Institute anyway, and he had a table set in the multi-purpose room that had once been the worship hall. 
Max grinned, “Try not to drool. She’s probably still dressed for holding court.”
Jace whistled and Alec made a face, answering without thought as he was comfortable with just his siblings. “She won’t distract me that way.”
Max opened his mouth in surprise, and Alec could feel the way Izzy tensed, even if Chilo hadn’t hissed in alarm. Jace was still grinning, but Kaie had gone very still. Max just laughed and Amada’s bright laughter joined his.
“She’ll be disappointed.”
The tension between them evaporated, and Jace reached to pull Max closer, laughing as Izzy teased Max about his clear appreciation for the High Warlock’s looks. Alec wanted to stay with them a little longer, but this was important for so many reasons.
He called a quick, “I’ll be back when I can,” and stepped back into the hallway. Cahya was waiting for him, though she seemed agitated.
They started down a hall to the ops floor where Underhill most likely had the High Warlock waiting in an atrium.
“The High Warlock is here. Max seems to know her.” 
Cahya just nodded and Alec took a deep breath. “I promise, I will do what I can to have her arrange a meeting with Magnus.”
Cahya paused and Alec looked at her. “If she knows Magnus, she’ll know immediately that I’m his. His magic is part of me too.”
“I can’t leave you behind,” Alec said, throat tightening at the idea that their secret might be out. He was only barely ready to accept that Cahya would be leaving with Magnus, let alone a stranger who might think it necessary to try and take her. If they could even bypass the binding spell.
“Of course not. Have her meet us in your room instead, it’s private and might give us a chance to explain.” Cahya nudged him lightly with her soft nose.
“You want me to invite her to my bedroom?” 
“You were the one who gave up your office.”
Alec could almost hear Rani laughing from his hiding spot and gave in with a groan. “Fine. I’ll send a message to Aline. She’ll make fun of me, but she’s not going to make as many assumptions as some of the others.”
Cahya looked pleased as she led him toward his room, her tail flicking in the air behind her.
-
The High Warlock looked amused when Aline let her in. She had tanned skin and hair that curled softly around her face in a red a few shades deeper than the long dress she wore. It was silky, high slitted, and caught the light when she moved, and Alec could agree with Max, though the effort was wasted on him.
“Thank you for accepting my invite. I apologize for the odd choice of space, but my office is occupied and there were some… concerns about the content of our conversation. In regards to that, I must express my gratitude for your early arrival, since it will give us time to discuss a somewhat delicate issue.” Alec put every ounce of diplomacy into his words, leaving a respectful distance between them and pointedly gesturing toward the pair of chairs that would keep the bed out of their sight lines.
She smiled at him and inclined her head gracefully, sitting with a flare of her dress that revealed more of her leg. Alec wondered if he should tell her it was lost on him. 
“Thank you for having me in what I’m assuming is your bedroom? I am happy with the direction you have taken this Institute and appreciate that there is something you need to speak with me, personally, about. So, what is it?” She leaned back, with a casual twist of her wrist a drink appeared, shimmering and gold in the glass.
Cahya chose that moment to make herself known, padding around the chairs and purposely brushing along Alec’s legs, only to freeze completely at the sight of the woman.
“Wha-” Alec started, unnerved by the stillness that held Cahya in place.
“Cahya,” the woman breathed, and then her glamour melted away.
Magnus Bane, still in the dress which was suddenly much more interesting to Alec, slid out of the chair, his drink falling to the floor as he nearly crawled toward his daemon. 
Alec swallowed hard, nudging Cahya lightly with his knee when she didn’t move to close the small distance between them. She started to tremble, her whole self vibrating, her fur bristling, and Alec made a sound of worry that was mirrored by Magnus.
“Rani,” he called, hoping it would help if his daemon wasn’t in danger of being crushed when the two did come together.
Rani fluttered out of Cahya’s fur, pressing himself against Alec’s cheek and watching just as tense as Alec.
Finally, Cahya lunged forward with a soft mewling sound, knocking Magnus back and pressing her full weight against him. They both were making sounds, quietly speaking in a language that Alec didn’t understand, and Cahya was rubbing her face against Magnus’ chest and chin, heedless of how she was pulling the dress off his shoulders. 
Alec decided to give them a moment and retreated to sit on his bed instead, where he could only see parts of them. 
Rani changed into a large rabbit that Alec gratefully cuddled against his chest, stroking through Rani’s fur in a calming pattern. They stayed, enjoying the feeling of being close to one another, until Cahya’s low voice called to them.
Alec reluctantly set Rani down, watching him flicker between forms too fast to identify all of them. It made his stomach clench, and the ache that lived in him pulsed. He’d long thought of that tender spot as the consequence for not allowing his daemon to settle and every time his emotions overwhelmed Rani’s form like this, he only became more certain of that.
Magnus’ golden cat eyes tracked him as he stepped back around the chairs, keeping his movements deliberate and slow. It was probably a rush of disorienting feelings to be reunited with Cahya after so many years apart, and Alec might have been the leader of a rebellious Institute, but he was still a Shadowhunter. Magnus’ long history with his family was something Alec was intimately familiar with and something he was terribly ashamed of. It wasn’t just the birthday gift incident. His parents had personally hunted Magnus, killed his friends, helped torture the Whitlaws and those they tried to protect. He was hyperaware, as he slowly sat back down in the chair he had first occupied, of the gulf of blood and stolen souls between them.
Rani, panting with the effort of holding one form, slowly crawled closer as a long-eared mouse. Cahya made a low chuffing sound and Rani flinched like he never had from her before, his form flickering again until it stopped, leaving a small skunk pressed shakily against Alec’s ankle.
“Rani-” Cahya started, her voice low and pained. Alec hated to see her hurt for them, but he couldn’t stop the wave of guilt nor could he fully look away from Magnus.
Tears streaked golden makeup down Magnus’ cheeks. His expression was torn open, and his fingers were curled tight enough in Cahya’s fur it looked painful. In return Cahya’s claws had clearly drawn blood from his bare shoulder in her need to be closer, his dress sluggishly darkened where it was soaking in. He was still staring at Alec, an unhappy twist to his lips.
“You kept her,” Magnus said, his voice raw and scraped thin. Alec wanted to close his eyes against the words, the accusation in them. He didn’t. Magnus deserved more than that.
“I had too.” He swallowed hard, holding himself still as Rani shoved his little body into the leg of Alec’s pants with violent trembles. “I didn’t know how to free her, and it wasn’t safe to ask.”
Magnus’ expression twisted into one of anger. “You had my daemon, you touched her and kept her against her will for more than a decade because you were afraid to ask for help? Because only a warlock could help you, and you knew any of my people would have killed you for the slight so you just… did nothing? I thought you would grow into someone better from the child I met. I thought you were The Raven, but you’re only another disappointment with a pretty face, I see.”
Alec’s ears were ringing and he had to press his hands tightly together, his bones nearly creaking. Magnus was clearly overwhelmed. He was angry and twisted up from getting Cahya back, and he didn’t know Alec, not really. The hope that Alec had carefully tried to smother, that he would get to know Magnus, the man whose soul companion had been nearly as dear to Alec as his own daemon, that he might get to still see Cahya, guttered in his chest and went cold.
Another weight pressed against his legs, and he watched in shock as Cahya pressed her face against his shins, her body stretched between the two of them. Magnus’ breath audibly stuttered, and Alec looked to him to see a mirror of shock.
“You are angry, my abang. You’ve earned that anger, but Alec has not. He wasn’t afraid for his own safety, he was worried for ours.” Cahya’s long tail twitched as she spoke, nosing at Rani’s hidden form as she did. “If the Clave knew you lived, if breaking the binding between Alec and I failed, if the warlock who we tried to hire wasn’t capable, what then? We were confined to Alicante for so long. When we finally made it out of the city, when we took over New York, we agreed that we would wait for this moment.”
Rani, calmed by Cahya’s proximity and firm tone, slid out of his hiding place and changed into a snow leopard, larger than her, to rub their faces together. 
“You agreed?” Magnus asked, wiping at his tears and obviously trying to rein himself in. He sounded more confused now, less angry.
“Of course,” Cahya said, her words muffled in Rani’s fur. 
“If she thought it was safe sooner, I would have done anything to get her back to you. It took us ages to figure out how far away from me she could go, how to work together like she was mine, so no one would know. I-” Alec took a deep breath, knowing there was no real way to make up for any of it, but especially this. “I’m sorry I touched her. I had to. In battle we couldn’t feel each other, and we had to make it real in front of the Clave.”
“And I enjoyed it,” Cahya said, matter-of-fact.
Magnus tipped his head forward, frowning. “I came to enjoy it as well. It should have always felt like a violation, but it stopped being that a long time ago. I am…sorry I lashed out at you. This is…”
“A lot,” Alec said, nodding.
“So much,” Magnus agreed, beginning to smile.
“If I’m not banned for my outburst, could we possibly pick this up after the meetings we are both expected at in the next ten minutes?” Magnus nodded at the clock hanging over Alec’s dresser.
“Shit,” Alec said, pushing to his feet and looking between their daemons.
“You’re not going to be seated next to me. The others might already be here. How do you want to do this?” Alec asked, thinking how he would hate to be separated from his daemon in Magnus’ shoes, even by a few feet. 
“Over the years, I’ve convinced people, with a little glamor and the help of unsuspecting birds in the park, that ‘Maggie’s’ daemon is a magpie. I don’t want to announce who I really am yet. Things are already unstable enough and, although I am fabulous, I would like more time to understand what’s happened to Cahya since we parted.” Magnus ran a hand down Cahya’s spine, his expression broken open and wondering.
Alec felt Rani’s large, furry head nudge against him, and a moment later his daemon was a magpie instead. His feathers were blinding snow white against an oil-slick sheen of prismatic black. He preened a little under Alec’s attention and hopped a step closer to Magnus.  
“Fair’s fair,” Rani said in his soft voice, and Alec swallowed hard at the implication.
Cahya touched Rani constantly, but she was another daemon. It didn’t register to Alec’s senses, except that Rani felt comfortable with her. Magnus was altogether different. 
Rani took another hop and Magnus stared at him, eyes wide in surprise. Alec swallowed his worry. Rani would be perfectly safe, no one would know that he was Alec's during the meeting and Magnus wasn't going to hurt him. They might not know each other, but Alec had spent years with the literal representation of Magnus' innermost soul. He knew what he needed to; he could trust Magnus with this. 
Magnus' gaze darted between Rani and Alec, his fingers kneading into Cahya's fur loosening as Rani plucked at the hem of his dress delicately. 
"Are you certain?" Magnus asked, one hand slowly leaving Cahya to hover just in front of Rani.
Alec took a deep breath, steeling himself for the feeling of another's hand on his daemon as Rani stretched toward Magnus' hand, his wings trembling. He'd been a bird then too, when Robert had grabbed him and torn from him the final ingredient in the spell that bound Cahya.
"I am," Alec said.
Magnus' hand dropped to meet Rani, burgundy nails like tiny clawed points running between the fine feathers on the top of Rani's dark head. Alec couldn't make himself blink, staring at where golden brown skin met black feathers even as he swayed, breath leaving him in a rush. It felt warm. Nothing like the cold, unwelcome violation of his father's grasp, just a warm trickle through him, stealing his words and calming his thoughts. It was half-familiar, undoubtedly from his experience with Cahya. 
Rani hummed, pressing into the light touch, and Magnus relaxed, quietly petting him as Alec watched, breathing slow and trancelike, until Cahya's rolling laugh broke the spell.
"You're late," she informed them both, and Alec jerked, swearing as he realized she was right.
-
Alec was exhausted by the time the meeting was over. Meeting was a light way of phrasing the only barely non-hostile beginnings, as leaders of various groups from New York's Downworld had arrived at the Institute, upset by the lack of neutral ground in some cases and understanding of Alec's position in others. They'd just weathered a major offensive, he couldn't leave the reach of his people just yet, but with "Maggie" on his side and Max chiming in that this was the "big brother" he talked about, things had smoothed over well enough. Agreements had been made to formalize a peace treaty, with a new location decided on by the majority. That it was an event hall that had most recently hosted a senior prom seemed to delight and amuse Magnus a great deal. 
Still, it had taken him longer than he wanted to explain how he had come to be the Raven and what the plan for his people in New York was now that they had broken from the Clave. He had to table questions that had come flying from every group about what the next steps were, unable to fully commit a plan of action without coordinating his people and getting word from the spies still in Idris. 
When he'd revealed he was waiting on inside information, most had been content to let his lack of concrete plan go, happy enough with the long-term goal of dismantling the current Clave. 
Raphael Santiago had pressed him a little harder, but backed off quickly enough when he pointed out that they were not the only Institute that had gone rogue last night and he needed to have a full check-in with the other four.  That had served to remind the group that given the ability to wait until more pieces were in place, Alec wouldn't have called them together. It was a sign of his desire to build connection and ensure that everyone had a say in the next move, as well as the need of his people to have allies should the Clave retaliate further that he had requested a meeting so quickly.
After, he stood by the door, thanking those that had come and seeing them out, hoping his sincerity was showing through his weariness. When only Max, "Maggie", and Raphael remained, he let himself sag a little. At his feet Cahya was laying with her paws folded under her chin, feigning the same tiredness. 
Rani was quietly settled on "Maggie's" shoulder, looking for all the world like he belonged there perfectly. He'd spent most of the meeting perched on the arm of a chair, but as Alec grew more tired, had moved closer to Magnus. 
Jace and Izzy joined them as it became clear that no one else was leaving anytime soon. Izzy gave him a soft smile and headed for Max, while Jace leaned against the wall beside him. Kaie was on his shoulder, staring at Rani with slitted eyes.
"So. How did the pre-meeting meeting go?" Jace asked, voice low.
Alec wanted to laugh, especially as Kaie's feathers puffed up when Rani caw-ed in her direction. He had no idea how to explain, Jace would be the best to understand, his and Alec's linked souls the closest comparison there was to the relationship between Alec and Cahya's person. 
"Well. Very well. Maggie and I need to talk a bit more though." Alec couldn't stop the tired smirk from curling his lips and Jace caught on immediately.
"No." He swiveled to stare at the pretty woman who was currently scowling playfully at Raphael. "No way. That's him?"
Alec nodded. "Yeah. He dropped the glamour when we spoke and he saw Cahya."
Jace started to grin, Kaie shuffling uneasily. Alec was tempted to nudge him hard enough to unseat her, if only to stop whatever Jace had to say. 
"Was he still in the dress?"
Alec rolled his eyes. "Yes. Was a little too preoccupied with reuniting with his daemon after a decade to bother changing his clothes."
Jace sobered a bit, but he still waggled his eyebrows at Alec. Kaie's sharp eyes turned to Alec, "If Cahya is his, who-?"
She trailed off, her eyes widening at the same time Jace's mouth popped open. Alec sighed and nodded, holding up his hand to stop any more questions as he watched Raphael step away from Magnus.
"Later," Alec said firmly, and Jace nodded.
Raphael shook his hand with his usual formal grace. "Until next time, Lightwood."  
Alec offered him a smile that was a little warmer than the other leaders had gotten. Raphael had been one of the few who knew he was the Raven, since Alec had helped him remove Camille. Raphael left without another word.
"Maggie" approached him next, rocking on her heels as she stopped in front of him and Jace.
"Is there any way we could continue our earlier conversation?" she asked, smiling a little. 
Jace clapped Alec's shoulder. "Take him to the roof. Iz, Max and I can catch up and run interference. Anyone needs anything, we'll take care of it for a bit and get Max up to speed on all our drama."
Alec sighed in relief, nodding at them both. "The roof will work great. Just remember"—he caught Jace as he started to walk away—"Max is a leader too, there are areas he's not allowed to go anymore. He's got more responsibility than just our little brother."
Jace's face pinched, unhappy with the reminder, but he nodded once and Alec let him go.
-
Magnus let the glamour drop as soon as they were alone on the roof. Alec had led him through a series of quiet hallways in the residential wing of the Institute and up a secluded stairway until they were in the open air.
A couple of deck chairs and a large waterproof crate were set up in the flat open space. Alec easily opened the crate and pulled out a large cushion and pile of blankets. Cahya, clearly familiar with the space, started dragging the cushion into place. Rani, obviously exhausted as he had not left Magnus’ shoulder yet, swayed to press his head against Magnus’ cheek.
The flush of familiar comfort that rushed through Magnus brought his attention back to Alec, who was settling onto the cushion, his hand rubbing over Cahya’s head unconsciously as he did.
Magnus swallowed and came to join him, pausing to snap himself into a more comfortable outfit. He still chose a red dress of softer fabric that ruched comfortably at his thighs with a pair of creamy chocolate leggings so he could fold himself down next to Alec without issue.
When they were both comfortable, the silence stretched. Neither of them knew what to say, it seemed. 
When Cahya yawned, curling between them lazily and easily pressing against them both, Magnus realized he should give Rani back. It was strange, how comfortable he felt with another person's daemon settled close, touching him with every shift of the little bird body.
He reached toward Alec, making a bridge with his arm as he set his hand lightly on Alec's shoulder. Rani was tired and this would give him the excuse to go to his person. Alec looked at his hand, then at Rani, his face softening in understanding.
"Before you fall asleep on me, pretty bird," Magnus said, smiling as Rani bobbed his head and took a step. He almost started when he felt Rani change shape, his light magpie shifting to a ferret and quickly bounding over his arm to curl around Alec's shoulders. He blinked at Magnus slowly.
"I could use a nap," Rani said, his voice soft and slow. Magnus resisted the urge to coo at the  daemon, even as Cahya huffed, "You could both use a nap.” She looked at Magnus, fondly exasperated “They hardly slept before the battle, and they certainly haven't slept since."
Magnus gave Alec a playful chiding look. "That's not the most effective leadership decision."
Alec, however, tensed and Magnus wanted to take it back. "I'm only teasing, Alexander. You've done admirably."
He dipped his head and as they sat in silence again, slowly relaxing. His breathing slowed and Rani went loose around his shoulders until Magnus was certain that Alec was starting to drift off.
"Alec?"
"Sorry. I was just...thinking. It's been so crazy, I've hardly had time to look into the curse recently and there wasn't anything in Idris. I don't know how to let Cahya go with you. I swear I wouldn't stop her if I knew how it worked, I'm sorry. You can stay as long as you want, we'll figure something out. I would let you take Rani, to be sure that I was trying, but I'm not a warlock. He can't go far from me or I- We'll-" Alec swallowed, looking distraught as his thick brows pulled together, and he trailed off.
"I wouldn't be so dramatic, Alexander," Magnus said, lightly. "You've already let me borrow sweet Rani more than enough, more than I would have asked for. I'm very used to being away from Cahya. We spent plenty of time apart before any Lightwood shenanigans and we'll be just fine visiting each other until we solve this curse."
Alec frowned. "You're sure? I wouldn't keep her from you."
Magnus offered him a smile, running his fingers through the fur between Cahya's ears and listening to her purring in contentment. 
"I'm certain for that precise reason." Magnus laughed a little, leaning forward conspiratorially and delighting in the way Alec leaned toward him. "She's a perfect excuse to visit you."
Alec blinked in surprise, a pleased little smile starting to curl his lips. "Yeah?"
Magnus grinned outright then. "Yes. You're fascinating to me, you know. And I feel you've unlocked something in me, more than simply returning my daemon to me."
There was color growing in Alec's cheeks and he looked down, tipping his head to press a cheek into sleeping Rani's soft fur. Magnus took the moment to properly look at them. Alec was obviously tired, worn a bit thin from his endeavors as The Raven, but still so strong and so sweet. He was lovely, his hair a bit messy from the breeze on the roof, his lips soft looking and he looked more relaxed than Magnus had seen him today. Rani was a sleek grey and his ferret form was-
Magnus blinked. Right, he'd noticed before but been in too much of a haze finally being back in touch with Cahya.  Alec was twelve when Magnus had been his birthday present, nearly of the age when daemons settled. Now he was well into adulthood, twenty-three and a leader and yet, Rani still changed shape.
"Alexander." Magnus hesitated and Alec looked at him again, clearly reading the change in his tone.
"I know, you're only playing at flirting, Magnus, it's alright, I didn't expect-" Alec started, his chin tipping up and Magnus couldn't let that misconception go. He held a finger over Alec's lips, watching him quiet with a confused little expression.
"You see?" Cahya purred and, yes, Magnus did see. 
"I am absolutely offended you think I would do that. I am genuinely interested in you, you beautiful creature. Now let me be serious about something else for a moment, then I can go back to correcting your ridiculous assumption that you shouldn't expect me to be very invested in taking you out for a drink." Magnus gave him a pointed look, enjoying the way that Alec's cheeks flared with color at the direct words.
"I-I would...yes," Alec managed, starting to grin. "Yes to the drink. And letting you be serious."
Cahya chuffed at them both and resumed her low purr, undoubtedly helping them to stay relaxed as Magnus broached the topic that worried him most. 
"Rani still changes."
Alec made a soft sound of discontent. "He has to. What if he settled as something too big and I couldn't hide him? No one has two daemons, and saying he was a pet would mean letting people touch him, besides their daemons would know immediately. He never settled, we wouldn't let it happen."
"Alec, no one can stop their daemon from settling by sheer force of will. It's impossible." Magnus let his magic curl visible from his right palm and lifted it slightly, so Alec would see it. "I believe it might have to do with the curse that your father put on Cahya, may I?"
The wisps of blue magic were easily reaching toward Alec, recognizing him from his long acquaintance with Magnus' soul, and Magnus was gratified to see a kind of wonderment in Alec's gaze as he nodded, watching the magic as it washed over Rani. The daemon woke, blinking muzzily at the light of Magnus' powers and easily uncurling, nearly falling from Alec's shoulders as he obviously enjoyed the touch of it. 
Daemons were magic, in a way, the sort that was powerful and ancient and beyond understanding, no matter how hard the Spiral Labyrinth attempted to uncover their secrets. Still, Magnus had never seen one bask in magic the way Rani was, his little head tipped back and happy trills leaving him as Alec ended up having to cradle him. A tender look had taken over Alec's face as he watched, and it really set in for Magnus.
Here was a Shadowhunter who had spent years barely getting to see his own daemon, afraid of being caught or interacting with them too much, because he was keeping the daemon of a warlock safe. Here was a man who had done what so many said was impossible and ousted the Clave from Magnus' city, who had opened his doors and worked to bring  his people and the downworld together. 
Even if Magnus wasn't so drawn to him, even if Magnus hadn't found him immediately beautiful, he would want to help Alec and Rani.
He forced himself to re-focus on what his magic was telling him, the threads he could feel that wove between Cahya and Rani and on to Alec. The bond between daemon and person had been frayed and rewoven with a new thread among them.
With a push of his power, Magnus brought the visual to bear for Alec to see as well.
"Here." He lightly touched the glimmer of brilliant blue among the silver of Alec's bond to Rani. There were thin strands of gold from Alec's end as well, but Magnus knew a parabatai link when he saw one.
"What is this?" Alec asked, staring in awe, the light from the bond dancing in his eyes. Rani, too, was watching the threads with wide eyes, inherently aware of what he was seeing.
"It's us. That's the tie between us, the parts of you that reach out and become...me," Rani said, his voice small and filled with wonder.
"It is," Magnus confirmed. "The silver is all you,. The blue however, is the answer to why your daemon never settled." Magnus let the very tip of his finger touch the thread of his own soul, watching Alec shudder and feeling the echo in his bones. "This is me. This is a piece of my bond with Cahya, cut from me and wound into yours. It's more than enough to keep her tethered to you. You said yourself, you aren't a warlock, you cannot go far from your daemon."
"She's not mine," Alec choked, horrified.
"A piece of her is. This is what your father did, he tied her to you just enough that she cannot be far from you, though further than your true daemon. The magic that makes daemons what they are is so tangled here. This sort of spell should never have been made, nor used. It especially was not meant to be used on a child with an unsettled daemon. Cahya is hundreds of years old, Alexander, she has been settled for longer than mortals live." Magnus sighed heavily. "I can only assume that your father didn't know the risk of what he was doing. There was every chance this would have killed you, or broken the bond between you and your own daemon completely."
Cahya made a hissing sound, and Rani huddled close to Alec, looking alarmed. Alec tucked Rani closer still and nodded once, sharp. 
"He probably thought it was worth the risk," Alec said, simply and unaffected, moving on before Magnus could say anything to that. "Can it be fixed? Or do I need to make arrangements so you can be with her?"
"Arrangements? Alec, what are you-?"
"I can't live with you, full time, I have too much to do here, but Cahya and I know how far from me she can go, so maybe I could get an apartment closer to you so she can be with you, or-" Alec was staring off at the sky now, clearly ready to make plans and leave behind the strange vulnerability. 
Magnus let the visible bond fade as he tried to stop himself making faces at Alec. 
"I'm sure that we can find a way to undo the curse before it ever comes to that. I'm more concerned about helping your Rani settle. That's the first and most important thing. Once he's settled it will be much safer to try separating my bond from yours." 
"How do I do that?" Rani asked.
Magnus had no answer for that, nor, it seemed, did Cahya or Alec.
-
Leaving his daemon was harder than Magnus wanted to show. He re-glamoured himself, after pressing his face into Cahya's fur the way he hadn't since Camille left him in shreds, decades ago. Alec offered to walk him out, but he declined with a flippant excuse about not wanting to start rumors about Alec and Maggie, though in truth he was hoping Alec would take the opportunity to go to sleep. He also didn't want to have to try and casually tell them good-bye at the door again. 
Watching Rani turn back into a moth and disappear into Cahya's fur had bothered him more than he thought it would, but he'd still taken his leave.
The next day found Magnus restless. 
Nothing was distracting him, not Chairman Meow who he kept wondering how Cahya would react to, not his apothecary when he remembered her easily helping him with potions. He wanted to go back to her. He wanted to see Alexander again.
A treacherous thought cropped up.
Alec had already offered to live with him or near him. He could say they needed to be together until Rani settled and they could separate Cahya. He could be weak about this, beg Alec to make it a priority and delegate what he could of the budding rebellion. 
He could be selfish.
Magnus cleared his throat, snapping away the potion that was already a hopeless endeavor. He needed to think of something else. Anything else.
His phone rang and he snatched it, not looking at who was calling.
"You've reached the High Warlock. This will be very expensive if you're rude." Maggie’s voice, just a register above his own, came easily.
“I’ll try not to run up my bill,” Alec greeted him, his tone warm and teasing. “Hello, Magnus.”
Magnus grinned. “Alexander. Think of an Angel, after all. What can I do for you?”
“I wanted to see how you were doing. I know this isn’t easy for you and I’m sorry.” 
The same feeling that he’d always associated with Alec touching Cahya bloomed in his chest, warmer than ever, and he fell into his favorite chair with a dramatic little twirl, just because. “I’m just fine. I miss her, and I would love to spend more time in your darling company, but I can handle waiting.”
There was a long silence, and Magnus found himself tugging his earlobe, worried that he might have given Alec the wrong impression, somehow.
“What if you didn’t have to?”
“Have to what, Alec?” Magnus asked, hopeful.
“Honestly, without having to deal with Clave paperwork, the Institute can spare me for a couple hours this evening. We were well prepared and our losses were far from what I accounted for when we cut the core from Idris, so we’re in great shape, all things considered. The Clave isn’t going to move on us again so quickly, especially not with the Downworld supporting us.” He took an audible breath and Magnus pressed the phone tighter to his ear. “Were you serious about that drink?”
A giddy, bubbly feeling that was all too familiar welled up, and Magnus sighed happily. The first flush of interest returned was wonderful. “I was. Tonight, then? I know a few places we might go.”
“Actually…I was thinking I could come to yours? That way you can be with Cahya properly, too. Also-” Alec sounded a little embarrassed, and Magnus thought he could hear another voice that sounded suspiciously like Jace in the background, “- also, I want to see you not Maggie, or even the High Warlock.”
“That would be lovely, Alec. I will send you my address so we can both pretend it isn’t in a file somewhere. Does five work for you? We can have an early dinner and a drink, and I can even return you to your Shadowhunters before prime demon hours.” Magnus hoped that Alec could hear how much this meant to him.
“Can we say six?” Alec asked as Jace shouted, “He doesn’t have to be returned!” 
“Six. It’s a date,” Magnus promised and he could hear Alec smile. He could also hear Kaie squalling and the familiar sound of Cahya hissing. “Go, save your parabatai from our girl.”
“I’ll see you tonight. Bye, Magnus.”
The call ended and Magnus took a moment to lean back in his chair, head tipped back. They had a date tonight. He’d see Cahya again, and maybe get to see Alec and Rani relax again.
“Oh!” He popped back up, going to find Chairman Meow. “Come, Chairman, we need to look our best for our guests.”
-
After a dinner of food from his favorite Ethiopian place, that Alec had grinned over and fed bites of to Rani, they were relaxing in the living room. 
Magnus’ table was covered in cocktails that Alec was systematically sipping his way through and making faces that ranged from “disgusted” to “confused, but not bad” in an attempt to find one he liked best.
Rani and Cahya were curled at their feet, a pair of leopards, though Rani was a larger snow leopard still. It was such a picture of a good, calm evening that Magnus’ face hurt from smiling.
Alec picked up a tiny glass, barely the size of a thimble, and tipped it into his mouth before Magnus could warn him. The face he made was one of shock and then immediately after a tightly twisted mouth as the sour, astringent liquor hit. 
Magnus couldn’t help the way he started laughing, especially as Rani jumped to his feet, fur bristling in alarm as Alec coughed.
“That’s…wow,” Alec managed, setting the thimble glass down like it was a bomb.
“It’s really meant to be drunk with this.“ Magnus held up a shot glass of sweet liqueur. “I think we can certainly rule it out though.” 
He took a sip of the sticky sweet shot, turning to Alec to ask what he wanted to try next only to be surprised by how close Alec was suddenly, leaning into his space. 
“I want to try it.” 
Magnus swallowed and set the shot glass down, watching Alec’s eyes dart to his mouth, still wet from the drink. “Alright.”
A warm palm cupped his neck and Alec’s intent gaze searched his face. Magnus knew that he couldn’t have done this before, and decided to help him. He pushed into Alec’s touch, brushing their lips together lightly and then sighing softly against Alec as he deepened the kiss. 
Alec’s hands were burning as they cupped his chin, like he was precious, and Magnus let one of his own hands lift to tangle in Alec’s hair. With a light swipe of Alec’s tongue, Magnus opened to him, tasting a strange blend of their drinks, the lingering sour in Alec’s mouth. 
With a low sound, one of Alec’s hands dropped to Magnus' waist, pulling them closer together. He was twisted on the couch to face Magnus, but it didn’t matter as he tipped further toward Magnus. 
A pleased rumbling sound finally broke them apart, and Magnus turned to look at their daemons as Alec pressed his forehead to Magnus’ temple, gathering himself.
The sound was coming from Rani, who had his eyes closed, his fur was black with a pattern only visible where the light hit him and he had shifted from another leopard to a jaguar. With her head laying on his shoulder, Cahya slowly blinked up at Magnus, equally content though her own purr was much softer.
Magnus felt Alec pull back to look at their daemons as well and tore his own gaze from them to watch Alec. There was a tenderness in his expression, his lips parted and upturned as he gently reached down and very deliberately ran his fingers through Cahya’s fur before continuing to scratch Rani’s own large head. 
In hundreds of years, Magnus had only rarely let his long-term partners touch Cahya, and even then it was never with the casual ease that Alec did. None of them had ever felt right, but this did. It always had. 
Rani was pressing into Alec’s touch happily and Magnus swallowed before leaning forward as well, his shoulder pressed closed to Alec’s. He buried his fingers in Rani’s fur along his side, feeling the thick soft pelt and the way that Alec’s breathing hitched beside him. 
“See?” Cahya asked, though Magnus wasn’t sure who she was directing the questions to. 
“I said he’d learn how mushy you are,” she said, giving Alec an amused look as Magnus shifted to lay his hand in her fur instead.
“You also said he wouldn’t like me at first.” Alec told her, fondness heavy in his voice.
Magnus scoffed, “What’s not to like?”
-
The morning light woke Magnus, his face scrunching against the brightness as it slanted across his face. From the general direction of his hip came a grumble that did not sound at all like-
“ ‘at time ‘st?” a groggy Alexander Lightwood asked, blinking and struggling to sit up from where he was slumped against Magnus, his face having been obviously pillowed against Magnus’ hip.
Magnus smiled, a sleepy and delighted thing that he couldn’t stop if he’d wanted to. 
“It’s just about eight,” Cahya answered, and yawned immediately; her fangs on full display. Rani mimicked the action, still a jaguar with his own impressive set of incisors. It was much cuter than it should have been.
“Crap,” Alec said, drawing Magnus’ attention back.
“We stayed up later than I expected.” Magnus shifted around until he could stretch back, wincing at the feeling of his slept-in clothes and undoubtedly messy makeup. “You’re a fascinating person with very interesting opinions on important martial writings and I am a scintillating conversationalist, anyone you’re late getting back to will surely understand.”
Alec rolled his eyes, but there was fondness in the action, and Magnus considered it a win. He snapped himself into a fresh outfit, fitted jewel blue pants and a black shirt with a loose drape, nothing too dramatic this morning. His face felt better with a wave of his hand to clean up and adjust the coloring of his makeup, softening it to a more suitable day look.
When he was done, Alec was just looking at him, lips parted.
“What?” 
Alec blinked and Cahya made a chuffing noise in the back of her throat, nudging Rani’s shoulder as he grumbled back. 
“You’re amazing,” Alec said, no trace of flattery to it, and Magnus felt his cheeks flush with pleased color. With a crooked little grin, Alec continued, “Even if you’ve heard too many conspiracies about Sun Tzu.”
Magnus gasped in mock offense. “Just because I think that the intention of his writings was angling more toward sounding like a good advisor, à la Macheivelli, does not mean I believe in conspiracy.”
“Magnus,” Cahya said, patiently.
“Okay. Maybe a few ‘conspiracies,��� but I was right about the most recent one! Though, it’s only a conspiracy in the very original sense.” He finally pushed up from the couch, watching as Alec did the same, twisting this way and that to stretch.
“What was it?” 
“That you were the Raven.” 
Alec stilled, blinking at Magnus. “You mean when I sent Underhill with the message?”
Magnus turned away from him a moment, trying not to feel embarrassed about his assumption. He’d only met Alec once, a child who had said little to him, been horribly violated by his father, and then helped him plan an escape. 
“Not…exactly,” Magnus hedged.
“When?” Alec asked, curious.
“How long after you learned he was Commander in New York?” Cahya’s warm voice asked, making Magnus turn back around, tugging at his earlobe a bit.
“Oh, about a month, maybe? I’d been in touch with the Raven off and on and knew they must have been in Idris, but then they started to address problems more locally relevant, and I thought it was someone who’d been moved here. I found out you were here not much later and well…I don’t think anyone else would’ve realized, but I drew some lines.” 
Magnus could remember the immediate hope, when he learned Alec was so close. The hope that Cahya would be returned to him and that Alec had grown into as good a man as he had the potential to be.
“Magnus…” Alec shook his head, cheeks a little flushed. “Well. I’m glad you didn’t think I was an awful person, if you thought I might be the Raven that whole time.”
Magnus stepped closer to him, running a hand down his arm reassuringly. “I hoped. I wanted it to be you. Lucky me, that I usually get what I want.”
Alec’s smile went soft and wide, his heart so obviously on his sleeve that Magnus had to swallow against an answering surge of warmth. They barely knew each other, and yet-
Cahya leaned into Alec’s touches as naturally as his own. Rani felt just as comfortable when he was on Magnus’ shoulder as his own daemon might’ve. Alec’s siblings seemed supportive of them already, and Magnus couldn’t deny the feeling like something was unfurling in his chest. Some bloom he’d neglected for so long he was surprised to find the bulb of it even still existed, let alone had the potential to flourish under Alec’s sweet gaze.
“We should, uh-” Alec started, gesturing vaguely toward Magnus’ front door and tugging on his shirt with the other hand, clearly meaning to leave before he was any later to the Institute.
“Yes. Of course.” Magnus sighed. “I don’t suppose my company would be welcome?”
Alec frowned, his eyebrows drawing together until a determined glint entered his eye. He stepped fully into Magnus’ space, cupping his cheek and leaning close, before pausing just a moment, like he wanted to be sure. Magnus melted into the touch and was happy to find Alec’s lips pressed against his, soft and closed and just as lovely as their kisses traded during the night before.
When Alec pulled back he offered an apologetic smile. “I’m going to have a lot on my plate. Your company, and your counsel, would be very welcome, but not until this afternoon.”
“Ooh, we could have a lunch meeting. I’m just so charming I have to stick around after, of course.” Magnus could summon something for them, it would give him a perfect excuse to sit and chat with Alexander uninterrupted again and learn a little about what foods he liked.
“Of course.” Alec said, his tone lilting into nearly a tease, and Magnus was delighted. 
“You’d better be on your way. If we’re going to meet later, I need to look Maggie’s best.” He made a shooing motion and Alec laughed.
“Alright. Rani?”
Rani shook himself off, standing up and stretching his long body lazily before taking a breath and going perfectly still.
“You’ll need to hide again,” Alec said.
Rani took another breath, his face scrunching. “I can’t.” 
The words fell between them, and Magnus watched as realization dawned on Alec, Cahya’s tail wiggling the way it did when she was terribly pleased with herself.
“You’ve settled.” Alec breathed at the same moment Magnus pointed at Cahya and said, “You knew!”
Rani pressed his long body against Alec’s knees, twisting around them to glare at Cahya.
“I didn’t know,” she said, sounding smug. “I thought it was likely. Something in you, Rani, just seemed to slot into place. Good. This is much simpler.”
“How?” Alec sounded like he was used to her proclamations like this. 
“Magnus does not need an excuse to have breakfast and lunch with us. Also, Maggie has no reason to make an appearance.” She sniffed.
Magnus stared at her, and then at Alec as he started laughing, Rani’s soft laughter joining in.
“You don’t like Maggie?” 
“Chop, chop,” Rani choked out, still laughing.
Cahya only stood with a swish of her tail and headed toward the door. “You’ve a resurrection to plan. Chop, chop.”
Alec grinned at him and Magnus resigned himself to this being his life now. They still needed to release Cahya from the binding spell after all. Something he realized, he was very much fine with taking a while.
“So,” Alec said, taking Magnus’ hand in his after fondly flicking one of Cahya’s ears on his way. “Where should we get breakfast and draft your Magnus Bane returns from the dead speech?”
Magnus laughed, stumbling closer as Rani nudged behind his knees. “Anywhere you want, Alexander.”
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lycansprites · 5 months ago
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I'm curious about your Dr. Singh pmv ideas! What songs do you think you'd use?
⚠ Warning: Spoilers !!
Anon (and anyone reading) I have no idea how far in or if you've finished the show yourself so this is my proper heads up that there will be spoilers below!
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SPINNING LIGHTNING SPEED RN OKAY SO I've had one big PMV idea all about Singh following him from Season 1 to Season 3/the Finale since I finished the show; it's an oldie but a goldie, if you've been in fandom space anytime the past 10 years you've probably heard it at least once.
youtube
It's that solid undertone of expected betrayal / something catastrophic happening that sells it for me. Singh's spiral is an outright tragedy born of love and a sense of perceived destiny. What starts out as a journey of unwavering devotion to his family then transitions to the determination to save the human race, by any means necessary, once his original motivation is no longer in the picture. In his most vulnerable state- which is saying something, considering how LONG that love had managed to see him through the worst- he dreams up the idea that his purpose, why he's still alive, is to continue to fall down this path of sacrifice. Self sacrifice and unfortunately the sacrifice of life around him for "the greater good". If he couldn't save Rani, then at least maybe he'll save humanity?
I love the lyrics "you'll be safe with me" being repeated throughout the song and is what I mean by expected betrayal. A wolf chasing a rabbit saying the rabbit will be safe with them, or a scientist / doctor chasing an immoral, nonexistent cure and convincing himself, the people around him, and the people he would then hurt or dissect that they're safe with him.
Dear rabbit, my legs are getting weak chasing you The snow fields wouldn't seem so big if you knew That this blood on my teeth it is far beyond dry And I've captured you once but I wasn't quite right So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me.
This would focus on everything leading up to Rani leaving him. For the phrasing it doesn't matter if it's showing him and the hybrids or him and Rani but the core of it IS the start of the end; from the day he first finds out that to save his love he'd have to experiment on hybrid children. This is when both Adi and Rani believe the misinfo that hybrids are more animal than human, and thus when they use that to justify sacrificing them for her.
Oh rabbit, my claws are dull now so don't be afraid I could keep you warm as long as you can just try to be brave Yes I know I'm a wolf and I've been known to bite But the rest of my pack, I have left them behind
Where we see our troubled duo learn that hybrids are just as capable of human thinking and human emotion as they are. In the show you can see the IMMEDIATE expression drop when either of them learn this fact; Adi's face just completely falls when Gus thanks him verbally, and Rani immediately turns to concern. This part of the PMV would focus on how differently they go forward with this knowledge. For Adi it's a desperate not wanting to continue his work but still finding it necessary, but for Rani it's backtracking and deciding that maybe taking these lives aren't worth saving her own. I want it to hit Rani leaving and subsequently Adi locking himself in with the blue flowers on that last line.
And my teeth may be sharp and I've been raised to kill But the thought of fresh meat, it is making me ill So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me.
Adi tracking down Gus and co, and convincing them to let him tag along to Alaska. REALLY focus on Gus's empathy and kindness in not wanting to leave anyone behind, in his willingness to believe that Adi's turned a new page. There's a lot of instrumental pause between "safe with" and "me" which could be used creatively for this purpose; I'll have to see if anything distinctly fits in my rewatch of the show. Potentially this could be when Adi corners Gus in the Cave and ends up killing Birdie.
We lapse into a very intense instrumental bit here that I would use to sum up the events of the Cave. I imagine everything happens VERY fast from Adi's POV as a man in a great bit of emotional turmoil so I don't want to linger too hard on anything that happens with the tree, just real fast glimpses of the fighting and of the Sick catching up to everyone present.
So rabbit please stop looking the other way It's cold out there so why not stay here Under my tail.
Now we've gotten to Adi's final sacrifice, where everything is literally coming down around them and he manages to save Gus's life properly and without any ulterior motives for the first time.
Um. That's. About it for that one.
The other one is with Daisy Bell
This one would be more about Adi and Rani specifically. For loving too much you'd be willing to lose yourself and in turn the one you love... I think about it a lot. This path was so tragic at every turn and doomed from the beginning but they were so good to each other until they weren't.
And then here's two other songs I've held in the Singh playlist but don't have any real ideas for right now;
I also have some general Sweet Tooth / Gus PMV ideas just lmk if anyone's interested in hearing those too >:D
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tubularbreasts · 3 months ago
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It’s been a year. So, a lot changed since then. I thought it would be easier but it sucked badddd!!! For the first time, not because of my breasts. College and its research and assignments ruined it, also men!!!!! So, there is this guy, lets call him Louis, who I fell for heads over heels. Almost 1.5 years have passed and I haven’t really moved on but somewhere in my heart I have accepted that us being friends is best for both of us. So, coming to breasts, yes the infamous tubular breasts. How the things changed in the past year?
I am now comfortable wearing low neck clothes, still not comfortable talking about it. I am now an expert in hiding them and wearing whatever I want, thanks to breast tapes. But yeah sometimes I found them extremely beautiful. They are sweet and vulnerable, sometimes we all are, nothing to their fault.
So, I uploaded our story on social media, and I am proud to say that girl we touched 2-3 lives with our story who are going through the same. It also helped me realizing that I am not alone in this and we all, as woman are there for each other and how powerfully we support and encourage each other.
You know what somewhere I realized, breasts are not all that makes a woman lovable. It is a element of attraction when it comes to physical beauty, but that physical beauty lasts only a few days and that beauty can not define our destiny and our respect and our honour. We as people are so much more than that, we have so much love to give and we deserve all the happiness and love there is.
This year I got to understand the femininity. The strength and the power it holds, yet how gentle and merciful it is. The femininity our goddess hold, one of fierceness and of love. If not for Govind (Hindu God), I wouldn’t have realized my strength as a woman. He is always there to support his sakhi (best friend). And he knows that his sakhi(best friend) is not the one to bow down to problems. He will be proud of me one day. I will become worth his love one day. Also, before him I have my Radha rani and my Sita ma to admire and thank. They have taught me values such as self-respect and self-reliance. I am a proud daughter who has learned a lot from them and my only wish to have a beautiful devotional journey of love towards them and with them.
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briliantlymad · 1 year ago
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Get to know me tag game
thanks for the tag @tideswept
1. 3 ships: ObiKin, StEter and KinnPorsche
2. first ever ship: Asami Ryuichi / Takaba Akihito from the Finders manga. y'all should read the finders manga its so damn good. my first foray into absolutely batshit mafia fiction ssjsjjsjsj
3. last song: Rainy Days by V
4. last movie: huh its actually been some time since i've watched a movie. but i guess the last thing i watched was with my mom and sisters, "Rocky aur Rani Kii Prem Kahaani" which is a nice movie but had a little too many social issues in 1 movie. they could've made 3 movies but decided to overstuff the plot. but UGH Ranveer singh so hot
5. currently reading: Unhinged by onley james. i appreciate the rec tbh, also reading orientalism by edward said as a starting point for my dissertation research and greek myths a retelling
6.currently watching: i just finished watched blue planet season 2. and im watching the live action one piece!
7. currently consuming: coffee and biscuits i woke up late
8. currently craving: a burger from 'Chick n Bun' those guys do such insane burgers im in love actually but im trying to control myself T _ T
i might lose that battle and order for lunch anyway
9. Tag people you want to know better: no pressure tags @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart @piecesofeden11 @kingdomvel @demon----dean @babypetri
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arodrwho · 6 months ago
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dw liveblog
oh that's fun!
hey why is the child still here? get him out of there he is like 14
hey ruby you do kind of have bigger things to worry about. like i assume theyre connected bc yall keep telling us theyre connected but yknow
"i have to hope birds will sing again. there will be birds" those are cool last words. wouldve had more punch without the repetition of "there will be birds" imo but whatever. u can't hope for maximum eloquence & emotion when ur about to die
:( bye kate
NO
oh my god. cherry and carla within seconds of each other
i assume they'll all be back but
"you've got worse problems" THANK you
HUH??? WHAT'S UP WITH THE TARDIS INTERIOR. a) that's not THEIR interior, and b) it's small!!!!!!!!
holy shit.
"and why am i still alive"
"i am an extinction event"
fffascinating
"this feeling you are feeling right now, this doubt, don't you feel so alive?"
lot of banger lines in this
"it's a remembered tardis, bits and pieces of every tardis that ever was, held in place by hopes and wishes and luck" oh i love that very much
!! 73 yards
holy shit
i do love that fifteen just screams sometimes
time skip? or something?
so we assume the baby is ruby?
a metal spoon. is there some meaning to this that i should know about?
oh.
:( if mel forgot then she's going to die soon yeah?
well back up why did. oh she's adopted. thats why her mum died first. duh. the death wave is using genetics. + it isn't an always thing, just a sometimes thing
:( mel
:(( nooooo u cant tell mel
<3 kiss the tardis
pls why don't u notice :( i wanted u to notice :(
she's trying so hard :((
what do you MEAN she's already dead
NO ruby don'ttttt
is it your own name? or?
oh i love you so much
oh the rope. THE GLOVE!!
oh you KNEW!
oh whistle!
!!! alive!
and a very pretty effect too!
thank god ruby's mum and grandmother are alive
alright but who the fuck is mrs flood though
what the fuck were her plans
oh the baby is alive
i was waiting for you to say skaro
what u mean u have to become a monster
is it NOW when u bring back skaro, or do u mean what u have to do with - yeah with suktekh
well that's one way to do it
i am so glad her birth mother ended up a normal person
ruby i really think you should leave her alone
like you have the right to seek her out, but i don't think you should
that said that's mostly because i wouldn't, personally, and my situation was very different from hers
well. sure. sometimes it works out like that
oh that's disgusting
"my real mum" go fuck yourself
go fuck yourself
absolutely go fuck yourself
nah man i hate everything about how this was handled, actually
i was willing to put up with the parts i didn't like, because ruby had never devalued her mum before, but she just did that and now i want to stab her
who the fuck are you, though. iris wildthyme? the master? the rani? some other motherfucker? elaborate and elucidate.
like u have to be some other motherfucker bc of the weird ominous shift u've been saying but
WHO.
ANYWAY. i hope there is some kind of storytelling bullshit at play that i can twist and manipulate so i can believe ruby's story didn't actually end that way bc i hate it and it sucks
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ilaanized · 2 years ago
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My two sh’s are the best girls in the world. I love them to life and beyond. They’ve always managed to put a smile to my face no matter the circumstances or situation. There’s so much I can talk to them without hesitation or having a doubt in my mind that I’m doing something wrong by saying so; and that means everything to me. Allah has a time for everything and even though I wished I knew them way before - although shah shah and I knew each other before we’ve not gotten as close as we are now and I cherish every bit of it, basically my best friend here, my one and only soulmate. And, Shrey is a little sister that I’ve never had. My baboi, my shonapakhi, my dovie. Always wanted a sibling and she filled that space for me, one that could never be replaced. @isapphire 🕊️ @shayx3 🦢.
My begum; urf Rani, is the guardian angel who never fails to check up on me. There’s always something I’ll say on my account and moments after would come her response asking me if I’m okay. The amount of appreciation I feel is unmatched. Everyone has ups and downs in their friendships and how we care about each other shows that we could pull through it again and over. I’m so grateful to have someone like you to call my friend. @papill0nsgf 🦕.
I know we don’t talk much but you’ve been the first to interact with me here and checked up on me as well. I absolutely adore your aesthetics and I hope to talk more with you @chaeflm 🌷.
You, I’m glad we got to talk again. I’ve missed you and thank you for talking everything out with me. @uremoboys 🪐.
We lost our old convo and our daily mewlings cause my account decided to deactivate on me </3 miss you and we should talk more @hoonieq can’t tag you either 🥹.
@strluv @yunnjie @juyokiss @shn-ryjn @shuacelest @yejiimg @isachxrm @osfprk @hoonietoons I haven’t got to speak to you all yet, but I hope we could get to talk more 🥺💗.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all you, sweethearts! Hope you’re all enjoying or have enjoyed your day so far.
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poumpatate · 8 months ago
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Hi! 👋 You have nice taste in movies. I saw a handful of Bollywood films on your blog, could you recommend some of your favorites?
Oh my, hi, thank you??
Of course! Disclaimer : I just started getting into Indian cinema this year and I still have a lot to learn and discover.
My first Bollywood movie was Devdas (2002, dir Sanjay Leela Bhansali) with Shah Rukh Khan (remember that name if you're interested in Indian cinema, he's like THE biggest star of the country). It's a period romantic drama film and I basically cried non stop for two hours. The colours! The songs! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah
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Then, like a lot of people last year, RRR (2022, dir S. S. Rajamouli). That's technically Tollywood (still Indian cinema, just different region and language). Epic period action drama film. It's.... so good? Like no joke my life changed after watching that movie. It's got action, it's got love, it's got incredible music (my top Spotify last year was just the songs of this movie), it's got everything.
Tbh you can watch all of Rajamouli's movies, I think you're safe with them. Baahubali Part 1 and 2 are amazing, Magadheera maybe aged a little bit (very 2000s, painfully 2000s) but is still great. I haven't watched Eega yet but really can't wait, the plot is too weird, I have to.
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For something more modern, I absolutly loved Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahaani (2023, dir Karan Johar). Back to Bollywood, it's a romantic comedy family drama. From what I understood, the plot is very basic for an Indian movie, forbidden love, evil grandma, respect of traditions etc etc but as I said, I'm new to all of this, and it was amazing. So, so funny. If you like himbos you'll love the main guy, he's perfect. He says stuff like "Gucci and Prada made love and gave birth to me" or "she's a super woman Wonder Woman Wakanda forever", I love him.
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I hope you'll like these! Thank you again for asking I could talk about these movies for days <3
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discoveredreality · 10 months ago
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for the ask game 8 ,11 and 14 <3
an ask!
omg thank you <333
ok so
8. favourite movie
umm i don't think i have one there's like a billion
i loved the barbie movie. ik they're sorta old but i love intersteller and the matrix. and ofc mean girls
in terms of like indian movies i like rocky aur rani ki prem kahani, kuch kuch hota hai and sooryavanshi
11. favourite flower
probably lilies. although i love lily evans it's not because of here lol i just really like them. and like obscure coloured roses like the black baccara rose.
14. last thing you ate
i was just making a salad so i had to do a lot of taste tests lol and i ended up finishing a significant amount
whoops
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