#LONG AND POSSIBLY TRIGGERING RANT IN THE TAGS!!!!

[pfhwrittes]

have some domestic price x gender neutral reader fluff that floated into my head.

pairing: john price x gender neutral reader

word count: 711

tags/triggers: domesticity, fluff, humour, pet names (love), mild bashing of the reader character's sister, slightly older than canon john price, long term relationship, no Y/N, 2nd person POV.

a/n: unedited as per usual. please don't interact with my writing if you're under the age of 18 despite this being a fluffy little something. also, i'm not judging people that want to get married or have kids, you do you but this is for those of us that don't want either of those things.

"john, what do you think about getting married?" you ask as casually as possible between sips of tea as your long term partner perches on the sofa next to you, his eyes focused on the liverpool game on the telly.

"i think you called it a "monument to compulsive monogamy and heterosexuality" and then you swore loudly about henry the eighth for twelve minutes on our first date." he replies before groaning loudly as his team bungle a free kick.

you smile into the rim of your mug because, yes you did say and do that when he brought it up all those years ago.

"mm, i know. one of my better rants i think."

john's hiss of triumph as one of the little red shirts on the screen peters off into discontented grumbling as half time is called and you place your mug on the coffee table.

john turns to face you when you settle back into the deep cushions and you trace the salt-and-pepper in his beard with loving eyes. if there's one thing you can say about retired captain john price it's that he's only got better with age, much like the whiskey he has stashed in the spare room/office. forty six is a damned good look on this man.

"what's got you asking about marriage, love?" john questions you with a raised eyebrow and you grumble, curse your overly observant partner. even when he's distracted his mind is still turning over every interaction and sniffing out a motive.

you sigh.

"my sister is having a baby."

"christ, really?" he looks so scandalised that you laugh at his expression. it's a familiar one when the topic of your younger sister is brought up, a combination of bafflement and mild disgust that pulls his mouth down into a frown even as his eyebrows reach up towards his hairline.

"mm." you make a noise of agreement.

"with the estate agent?"

"yep." you pop the 'p' obnoxiously.

"christ. she's only known him for five minutes," he shakes his head disapprovingly before reaching for your hand to give it a squeeze, "but what does this have to do with us getting married, hm?"

you shrug a little helplessly as he strokes his thumb over your knuckles.

"i don't know, i just started thinking when she sent me a copy of her scan and -"

"of course she did." john interrupts you with a weary sigh. "your sister is nothing but a self centred cow and i'm positive she sent it to you to get you to feel bad."

he looks at you, pinning you in place with a fond sort of sternness that you had seen a few times before when kyle had been over for dinner espousing his worries about being the right man for the job.

"listen to me when i say this, yeah?" he taps your knuckles with his thumb gently to make sure you're fully focused on him, "i'm happy exactly as we are, love. i don't need a bit of paper telling me that we're bound together for the rest of eternity. god knows we already are, what with the mortgage and the bloody cat."

"be nice john, she's a sweetheart." you chide as you glance over at your middle aged tortoiseshell moggy curled up on the armchair.

"she's a bloody demon and you know it." john snorts good-naturedly as the cat in question makes a noise similar to a creaky gate at the sound of his voice.

he releases your hand so that he can reel you into his side to press a kiss to your temple.

"stop trying to distract me with the cat and stop focusing on your bloody sister. you've never wanted to get married and that's one of the reasons i love you, you silly arse."

the small knot of worry you'd been carrying since the start of the conversation unwinds and you release a long breath, taking the opportunity to snuggle into his side more comfortably.

"i love you too."

john simply presses another kiss your temple in response as the football match starts again and you settle in to enjoy an evening with your not-husband.

(tomorrow you'll threaten him with a rolled up tea towel after you find that he texted your sister off your phone calling her baby scan a "badly made lasagne".)

[stuck-writing-sickos]

In Poor Taste [P6]

(Yandere Reader Insert)

[Series Link]

[STRONG WARNING: sexual abuse, ephebophilia, substance abuse, addiction, suicidal ideations, victim blaming, xenophobia, violence, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK]

(A/N: this is a heavy chapter that catches you up on certain characters' backstories. Please do NOT read if ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS can trigger you. I repeat: DO NOT. I will put a recap on the next chapter. these are strong contents. i will not take responsibility for anyone who disregards the warnings.)

Also i still do not know what tagging people in the next chapter entails (low tech, offline). Lmk how: @perhapstheyregone @ssak-i

You were never crazy about spoiled rich men. They were nothing but troubles.

"Sakamoto!"

Lukas jumped at the scream. He turned around to meet three coworkers he hadn't ever spoken to: a short, tubby middle-aged man with his tie going undone and a button missing, revealing his belly. Another is a taller, lanky, bespectacled young man who was speaking quietly but very excitedly, his shoulders high and closing into himself. The shorter man lumbered past Lukas and toward the pair of smokers. From inside the restaurant, a female voice called out for a "Hanaosan".

Lost and incredibly intrigued, Lukas instinctively stepped to where you were, his body shielding you away from the commotion. He smelt the smoke and alcohol wrestling away your flowery perfume, his eyes darting back and forth between Sakamoto and the old man who was shouting something in Japanese, drowning out the voice of his companion. From behind them, a short woman he also recognized to be from the office ran after the duo and tried to join voice with the onesided arguments, her tone sounding a lot like that of glasses. From their repeated "Hanaosan", Lukas assumed it was the name of the drunken, improperly clothed man. Sakamoto only took long drags of his cigarette as Hanaosan closed the distance with his arms going every possible direction.

Sakamoto leaned back and listened to the rant, only occasionally replying with one word which sounded a lot like "yeah" whilst shaking his head. At one point, his cigarette went out. He silently tossed it on the ground and snubbed it with his shoes, his eyes not leaving the senior colleague's red face.

This went on until Sakamoto directed his attention to the woman who was guiltily hanging her head. Lukas gathered another name here - "Sasakisan". This Sasakisan was on the verge of tear, her head of dyed chestnut hair shaking vigorously and her hands waving, seeming to deny something. Upon this, Sakamoto turned to Hanaosan to speak. He must had said something insulting, because Lukas didn't have time to react when Hanaosan raised his voice even louder, turning heads from the stream of strangers walking by. The short, fuming man then reached out and grabbed Sakamoto by the collar, shaking him vigorously, his chubby, hairy fingers were clutching against Sakamoto's shirt so hard Lukas heard a tear. Horrified, glasses and Sasakisan tried to pry them apart only for Hanaosan to knock them back with the surprising strength that only ever graced drunk uncles in family gatherings. The two tried to talk - probably desperate to get some sense through the chaos - but nothing budged the Incredible Hanaosan now in a rage. He stopped shaking fand waited for a respond from Sakamoto who was bent in half to accommodate for his height and superhuman grab.

Sakamoto sighed and clicked his tongue. He spoke, his voice now slow but firm, the same voice Lukas assumed one would use to discipline a child. This only added fuel to the fire. Hanaosan shed his last layer of blind anger and decided that words would no longer be of use. He winded up a punch and hurled it toward Sakamoto's chest.

Lukas had his back turned to you. Naturally, he didn't see it coming when you harshly pushed past him, your fingers of steel grabbing him by the shoulder, throwing him aside and slamming his back against the wall. Lukas didn't have time to savor the pain, but his heart did not forget to race. He could only see you as a blur as you zipped past him and wedged yourself between Sakamoto and Hanaosan just in time for his punch to land right on your gut. A pained groan escaped your lips, though you did not fall nor lose composture.

Nobody spoke. Everyone stared at you, horrified. You steadied your breath, shaking a little as you bent over, half in pain, half to speak to Hanaosan.

"I apologize, Mr. Hanao", you said, your voice still wavering from the shock.

"Lady, why did you do that for?" -Hanao (apparently not Hanaosan, Lukas noted) scoffed - "Stay out of it, this is between us men!"

"I'm so sorry", you kept your bow, "I just remembered that Mr. Sakamoto here will see his family soon, and I would hate to imagine how difficult it would be for him to explain the bruises."

Hanao laughed in disbelief, his expression souring from angry to scornful.

"So what, you lived here for 3 years and you think you can try to act like one of us? Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now?"

"That's enough!" - Sasaki (Lukas noted again - not Sasakisan) yelled, her high voice was weak compared to the rest - "Mr. Hanao, you're drunk and embarrassing yourself! Please take him home, Mr. Fujiko!"

Nodding hastily, the thin man tugged at Hanao now seeming completely deflated at Sasaki's words. Still, from where he was walking, Hanao still couldn't help but spoke loudly for you to hear - "that's why letting those foreigners work here is no good, I'm telling you."

Lukas burnt at that. "Fuck...", he muttered, planning to go after Hanao. Before he could move, you had a strong grip on his wrist, yanking him backward. The force you'd exerted left him sore, but Lukas' couldn't deny the heat in his chest as he felt it.

"Sorry", he said, his voice barely containing his untimely arousal. You were too in pain to notice it, and Lukas was too focused on you to see Sakamoto's quick glance when those words came out of his mouth.

"You're not okay...", Sakamoto softly said to you, "I'm so, so, so sorry for that. Please, let me take you home."

"Are you sure?" Sasaki interrupted, "Mr. Sakamoto, you're not okay either. I can take her home for you."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Sasaki. She lives quite near mine, so it works out well either way. Mr. Lukas, would you mind accompanying her back to the party and keep an eye on her just in case?"

In case of what, Lukas thought, a biting discomfort brewing in him. This guy was just trying to get rid of him.

Sasaki was quietly glancing over to him, hesitant and nervous. Lukas felt more annoyed than ever at the thought of Sakamoto monopolizing the rest of your night, though under the watchful eyes of another colleague, he felt it would be best to not start another argument.

"Yeah, sure, no problems", he sighed, his voice getting cold, "get home safe. Text me if you need me."

Sakamoto better not take that last sentence as directed toward him, too. Lukas could not give two shits.

__

Sakamoto had you hanging onto him as he hailed down a cab. The sleek black car stopped, its door sliding open. You felt shame as you sluggishly sat down and scooted your body into the inner seat. Awkardly loosening the seatbelt to not irritate your bruise, you leaned back.

"Hey", he spoke, tapping on your shoulder, "are you feeling alright?"

Your mind was on something else when you said yes, nodding begrudgingly. Your chest was still twisting. You held your head, trying to remember your address upon hearing the driver asking for it. Unsurely reciting it, you turned away from Sakamoto for him not to see your crumbled face. Still, you could hear him shifting nervously as the leather seat squeaked under his pants.

"I'm sorry... of course it is nothing", you said, your voice hoarse.

"I'm sorry, too..."

He spoke as if something was stuck in his throat. You could tell he felt guilty about Hanao's punch. Sakamoto had a bad habit of feeling like he owed people for the nice things they did, so much so that it worried him sick. You yourself hadn't been much of an expecting returned favors person - were you to be one, you would have been stuck playing debt collector to your brother for the rest of your live. That would not be fair.

"It's not your fault, Sakamoto."

The ride was quiet. You wanted to turn and look at him, but you didn't let yourself. You were worried by the heartbeat that drummed against your chest as if wanting to break your ribs open. Help me make this feeling go away, you wanted to say, but you knew he wouldn't know how. He couldn't fix your brother's drug addiction. He wouldn't know how to steady his nerve were he to find the frail, bony boy in a stranger's bathroom lying in his own vomit, arms and legs twitching with glazed over bloodshot eyes who, upon seeing his older sister at the door, could do nothing but bare the row of yellowed teeth to laugh. What was there to do but call the ER and explain what happened? Your 17-year-old self did not cry as you sat and wait for the ambulance, watching his shoulders and the lock of hair over his nose move to make sure he was alive. You could almost recall the conversation in the next room wherein the teenagers were freaking out and deserting the kickback, yelling to put blames, all of them too drunk or high for their young body to handle. Stupid, you thought with your head on your knees, you guys were supposed to be studying for finals. What would 15-year-olds in a private school need molly, stamps or snow for? They could not have possibly been that bored, could they? Couldn't they have smoked weed and have panic attacks like the rest? You even remembered when a girl poked her head in to ask if your brother was okay, to which you said "fuck off". You didn't feel bad for it. You still don't.

Your head spun thinking back about it. You closed your eyes and tried to calm your beating heart, fighting the lump that built in your throat. Whatever, you told yourself, nothing changed - that was all. You would call your mother and console her like always, then your disappointed father who had not much to say, then your brother who would moodily ask what you wanted and then tell you to save it with the life lessons. Then you would hang up and put away your phone, take a nightime painkiller without water before crawling under your cover and hoped to not wake up to 80 missed calls.

So you didn't say anything.

Upon seeing the familiar apartment complex, you fished for your wallet only to find Sakamoto's cold palm resting atop your hand. "I got it", he softly spoke and handed the driver two crisp bills, telling him to keep the change. The warm summer air flooded the cab as the door opened, and you felt the humidity clinging on your skin when you stepped down, your kitten heels knocking harshly against the pavement. Sakamoto hopped off as well and hurried over to where you were.

"Mr. Sakamoto, thank you for taking me home, but you don't have to walk me to the door. You will miss the train."

"It's okay", he said with his face turned away from you, "I like to enjoy the nightime."

You laughed at the white lie. Of course he did not mean it, especially not with the heavy backpack on his back. Sakamoto who liked to clean up and prepare food for the next day would hate staying out late - hell, he barely tolerated tonight's dinner party.

"Well... I appreciate it. Then, would you mind walking me to the elevator?"

"I will walk you to your door."

The softness in his voice matched your own.

_____

Yuki lied. He did not live near you, but he figured that didn't matter much. He could take a cab back home and skip the coffee-making, even though he had just started trying to consume less sugar by brewing his own the night before. The way your face drained of any liveliness when he first saw you at the alleyway was a pointer that whatever you were going through was more urgent than the brand new coffee kit he left sealed near his sink.

As he waited for the elevator with you, your phone buzzed. You looked at the screen blankly and picked it up, your hands trembling just barely. He incredulously watched you when he led you into the dingy lift, making room for you to punch in the floor number. You did not say a word, simply listening to the other end who seemed frantic and fast-talking. The flourescent light from above highlighted clearly your sunken eyes and smile lines, casting sharp shadows on your face now looking years older than your normal self. You did not say anything but the frown on your tired face deepened the longer your caller spoke, and by the time the elevator ride was over you could only sighed and said "I see... I will talk to him soon, mom. You go ahead to bed now, it's getting late."

He tailed you out, expecting you to lead the way to your door. Instead, your body dropped down to a squat. Burying your head into your hands, you painfully let out a quiet sob, your body shaking like a leaf.

"Hey...", he spoke, trying to be as gentle as he could so as not to alert anyone who might be sleeping behind the thin apartment walls. He wanted to say that it would be okay, but that would be stupid. He did not know what happened.

You kept your sobbing down, stiffling it until completely smothering it. Choking on tears, you sniffled and looked at him. Your mascara had made a dark black smudge under your glossy eyes, and your lips were twisted as you grinded your teeth to keep from crying more.

"... Let's get you back home first, okay?" was the only thing he thought of to say. You nodded and took his outstretched palm. Your skin was warm, pressing hard against him as you stood up. He failed to expect the hand that threw the fierce uppercut at his show to feel so limp in his own. He did not let go as you walked him to your door and punched in the code.

"Thank you, Mr. Sakamoto", you spoke again, hoarse and labored. Even in disarray, you still made a point to take a look at your phone to check for the time. Idling at the door now wide open, you held a sigh in your chest. He watched as you took a moment to think before turning to see him again.

"I'm sorry you missed the train. If you don't mind it, you can stay the night."

He had heard that many times in his life, and everytime he found himself going dizzy and trying to make an escape. In his younger years, he wasn't so sucessful. He would be swayed by guilt or pity toward the recently divorced family friend who then wiped away her soft pink lips with his body. His 17-year-old self did not know how to feel... she was always gentle and kind when she first met him 4 years prior. Outside her bedroom she was never unperfumed, never dressed improperly, never spoke in any tone other than soft, yet she always left him feeling undone and fillthy. She was nice before she wasn't, before the door closed and he was told what to do and how to feel. Sakamoto always vomitted after, but it never mattered to her - she had her fills. He still couldn't forget begging for his father's help after the secret ate at him, only for his own kin to ask what about becoming a man made him want to die.

Though, the look in your eyes was not one of temptation. It was one of someone barely holding it together, trying their hardest to make something right. You didn't seem to want anything from him.

Yuki felt something other than panic when he stood at your door staring down the dark hallway, your face just a shadow now when you turned straight ahead. For the first time in a long time, Yuki found himself saying "okay" to being invited to stay over.

[luwritesomething]

hi!! i'm not sure if you'd be comfortable with this, but would you be able to do something with billy loomis x reader where the reader is possibly plus sized and has old sh scars? if you're not comfortable with the last part i understand.

Billy Loomis x Reader: draw stars around my scars

Warnings: Swearing (probably), self-harm topics, self-harm scars, reader did self-harm but now is better, bad reaction at first, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THESE TOPICS ARE GOING TO TRIGGER YOU.

Tags: healing, reader can be read as plus size, reader has stretch marks, reader has self-harm scars, projecting heavily

Reader pronouns: Non stated.

Word count: 1122

Summary: Billy sees Reader's self harm scars for the first time, on accident.

Author’s note: hi, thank you for requesting! this was healing to write, to be honest. as someone who dealt with self-harm for very long years, all i can say is that it does get better, you have to believe for a better way out for yourself and be very focused on your goal on staying clean. no one deserves to hurt themselves, i promise. if any of you reading this is at a very bad moment, if you self-harm, please know that my inbox and dms are always open for you to rant, even if we've never ever talked before. you can send whatever you want, do it with anonimity if you want through my inbox. but please, know that you're not alone. please, you need to do your best to get help, and if you can't, you must believe in yourself.

i never got help, and i'm still here, and honestly, i thought i would have ended all of this more than two years ago. please, please, stay strong. find your passion, stick to it. i'm leaving this my chemical romance song, because they really got me through my worst times, and the lyric "I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scars. Give a cheer for all the broken. Listen here, because it's who we are." really resonated with me and made me believe there was more than hurt. i'm always here for you <3

criticism, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! requests are open, especially for scream! hit that anon button and tell me your ideas. in the scream fandom, i write for billy loomis, stu macher, randy meeks, tatum riley, sidney prescott, mickey altieri, kirby reid, chad meeks martin, mindy meeks martin, tara carpenter, anika kayoko and laura crane.

Having Billy over wasn’t weird, in fact, you had grown so used to him sleeping around and staying until very late hours in your bedroom, that not having him there sometimes got lonely and awkward. You didn’t know much about the situation between his parents other than they had been fighting a lot lately, but that was enough, and you didn’t need to know more to offer a place for him to stay.

That night, you had just come out of the shower with the warm towel around your body when you heard some sounds outside your window. They were the kind of sounds stones made against wood, the kind of sounds Billy made to let you know he was outside, but you still got closer to the window to check if it was him. You saw him outside, with his denim jacket closed around his torso and his hand holding little stones he had gathered around your garden, waiting for you. When he saw you, he waved slowly and gestured to the window, for you to open it.

Making him a sign to wait, you stepped away from the window and hurried to put some clothes on before opening the window for him to climb and enter your bedroom. You settled for a simple t-shirt and cotton shorts, leaving the towel on top of your bed so you could finally let him enter.

Once you opened the window, you stepped back knowing he would climb up without any difficulty — he had really grown to master the art of climbing through your window. Billy was fast, and no longer holding the stones since you had finally realized he was outside, he appeared by your window and jumped inside with ease. 

“I’ve been outside for fifteen minutes.” He grunted as he cleaned his palms against his jeans, then pushed the rebel strands of his black hair away from his eyes.

“I was showering, I didn’t hear you.”

That made him look up, that little but still sweet smile of his appearing in his lips because God, did he like being with you — and it disappeared when his eyes landed on a particular place on your thighs, and you knew what he was looking at as soon as his eyes snapped back onto yours, something close to rage filling them up.

You had always been so careful hiding your scars. Lately, it was more because of not wanting to have difficult and awkward conversations and not because of being a constant in your life — the self-harming had stopped some time ago already, you had outgrown it, realizing that hurting yourself was something that you did not deserve. The scars were tricky to see, considering they were placed high on your thighs, and even if you wore regular shorts they were almost impossible to see, but these cotton shorts were shorter than usual. 

“Billy—”

“Tell me you’re not doing any of that shit to yourself.” He demanded, and his voice sounded as cold as ice, as hard as steel. Billy wasn’t going easy on this, and you didn’t expect less out of him.

“It was a long time ago.” You said, your voice remaining calm. It was for a few seconds, but your eyes followed him in the path to your thighs, to the scars matching the stretch marks. They were part of you now. “I’m alright now.”

The breath that Billy let out was shaky, which surprised you. He got a step closer to you, then regretted and backed away slightly. You knew his eyes were now scanning your arms, and you knew that, if he looked hard enough, he could also see the ones there — that, or you were the only one who could see the invisible traces the razor had carved into your skin in your worst moments, which was also possible. Some sights were impossible to forget.

“You are okay?” Billy asked softly, with a reason to doubt you. You had been dating him for months, being friends for years, but you still hadn’t told him — you had let him figure it out, by accident. 

You nodded. “I promise. I am. I’m clean, I’ve been clean for more than a year.”

Billy nodded slowly, almost like he wasn’t paying attention — but you knew he was. His steps were quick when he walked towards you and pulled you into a swift, loose hug, his chin resting on your shoulder. You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms tight around him. You wished you could go back and show that moment to your past self, as a promise that everything would work out, that you deserved better. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked in a whisper, and if you didn’t know him better, you could have sworn his voice was strained with emotion. It was. “I could’ve… fuck. Don’t ever do that again, please.”

“I know, I know, it was just…” You shook your head and let yourself hug him a little bit tighter. “It was difficult, bad timing and all… I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry I wasn’t there—”

“Billy, it’s not your fault.”

Billy pulled back slightly from you, looking into your eyes in earnest. “It’s not yours either.”

You smiled softly, and caressed his cheek with tenderness written all over your face. You hadn’t loved anyone more in your whole life. “I know.” You said, nodding your head, and it was true.

Billy watched you again, carefully, from head to toe, and only closed his eyes once he convinced himself that you were alright. It wasn’t something violent to see, it was calming — his worry for you, although at first rather rough and unmoving, healed the open wounds in you that always tried to lead you back into your old ways. The sickness of the addiction had been the worst, wanting to stay clean but slumping again, and again and again, but you were better now. You should have believed when you had heard that things would get better.

In silence, Billy pointed at your bed with his head, as his hand slid into yours firmly but softly. You only nodded, and put the towel away before you two slid into your covers. His hand wrapped around your hips, and it took you a little to realize that his fingers were deftly tracing your scars around, small tickles caressing your skin.

“I’m okay.” You muttered with a little smile on your lips, looking up to him.

Billy hummed lightly, and his lips came to your forehead, kissing you tenderly. You searched for his free hand and shifted around to find a comfortable position, snuggling against him, and feeling calm for the little, incoherent drawings his fingers made into your skin.

[bpddress-updarling]

DISCLAIMER:⠀i, by no means, realistically support what i say on this blog.⠀this is a safe space for me to talk about obsessive feelings related to bpd in a healthy way that is not hurting anyone.⠀anything discussed on this blog is fantasy or otherwise fictional.

⊹‧˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦꒷︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹ 【 𝅄 𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙨 or 𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘂𝘀 💄𝅄 】 【 𝅄 MINOR ( 17+ ) 𝅄 】 【 𝅄 any pronouns 𝅄 】 【 𝅄 bisexual bigender 𝅄 】 【 𝅄 < O4 O3 21 3 𝅄 】 ⊹‧˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦꒷︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹ 【 𝅄 bpd + audhd 𝅄 】 【 𝅄 bipolar + c-ptsd 𝅄 】 【 𝅄 ocd + depressive 𝅄 】 ⊹‧˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦꒷︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹ ♡ i use the term "yandere" to cope with obsessive thoughts! i do not advocate for irl stalking or murder (obvi) ♡ this blog is used by a pc user! so most things will probably look better on pc rather than mobile ♡ i am a member of a system but that is not the main focus of this blog, however i do have a side blog for system related stuff! (this is also my venting/spam post blog) ♡ this is not my main blog! i use this only for posting, not networking. i'm sorry! ♡ there will absolutely be dark topics mentioned on this blog. things that will be included are mentions of kidnapping, sh, sa, stalking, obsessive behavior, and other things that can trigger people. please be aware before viewing my other content ♡ this blog will not be strictly about obslove, as it will also be a blog for my more taboo or darker intrusive thoughts in general. ⊹‧˚₊‧꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦꒷︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹ #💄 𓂃 text - this tag is for text posts or rambles #💄 𓂃 images - this tag is for images. i try to credit artists or original posters whenever possible #💄 𓂃 sweetheart - this tag is for posts specifically regarding my gf! #💄 𓂃 reblog - this tag is for reblogs, which there might be a lot of, mute if needed! #💄 𓂃 ranting - this tag is for my interests or things that aren't related to this blog's purpose #💄 𓂃 asks - this tag is for asks! please check my blog and feel free to ask anything :3

— 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨! i know this was super long, and i really appreciate you reading til the end <3

[maochira]

AAAAA I have a request for the event:D

How about hair care(?) Night with chigiri, aryu, anri, and if possible, hiori?:D and ofc the assistants are there as well!! It's just a night where we all share tips of how to take good care of their hair, play games, gossip (mmm I love gossiping), while treating their hair? If you get what I mean<3

Could totally see chigiri with a towel around his head and goes "did you know reo came back to nagi" and the room is just full of gasps😭

THIS SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH FUN AAA THANK YOU ANON!!

Requests open! - event list - event introduction

Tags: gn!reader, mostly silly goofy stuff, not proofread I was lazy

Event sypnosis: you, Claire (@deerangle3 ) and Mao (me) are assistants in the Neo Egoist League

Girls night! With the boys

-prior to the entire thing, Aryu wrote an entire list of which products you and the other assistants had to buy

-it's a bit of an odd combination, but you really didn't know who to invite to this. But they're all rather calm people, so everyone gets along!

-Mao has a bit of lesbian panic when Anri touches her hair

-Aryu has a little fangirl moment when he gets to touch Chigiri's hair

-Claire does NOT hesitate to say the vilest, deranged, insane things you have ever heard. But it always makes you burst out in laughter

-A LOT of platonic flirting throughout the entire night. Especially between Mao and Aryu

-besides the platonic flirting, a lot of compliments!!! Most of them are from Aryu as well

-you, Claire and Hiori talk about your favourite video games! But that quickly gets interrupted when Chigiri is like "By the way guys, did you hear Reo and Nagi-" and EVERYONE in the room gasps

-Chigiri tells you everything he knows. And that's how everything turned into a gossip night

-Aryu probably tells a lot about what it was like to be teammates and roommates with Rin during the second selection, so then everyone starts gossiping about Rin

-also, Aryu can't help but complain about Lorenzo's hair. BECAUSE THAT SHIT GREASY AF

-Hiori is mostly silent, but then Claire mentions Kaiser and suddenly Hiori goes on a rant about him for five minutes without a break. That obviously leads the conversation into gossiping about Kaiser, Ness and Isagi. You make jokes about them being a weird love triangle

-you guys made a tierlist on how babygirl the Blue Lock players are (Barou is on the top, Igaguri at the bottom)

-you forget about the time, so at some point, Ego knocks at the door and when he enters the room, it's one of the most confusing things he's ever seen

-Claire half-jokingly asks if he wants to join (of course he doesn't)

-when Ego leaves again, Anri starts talking about the work she always has to do for Ego. Everyone agrees that Ego is a manchild who can't take care of himself (Mao's father complex is (not so secretly) triggered by Ego but she's all in on joking about him)

-Anri wants to know what working with the coaches is like, so you, Claire and Mao tell every story you've got in mind. Like that one time Snuffy heard you and Claire calling Barou and Lorenzo babygirl? Or that one time Mao (purposely) called Lavinho "dad" and had to play it off as a joke? Dropping all of those stories to the group lets go

-at some point, the gossiping somehow turns into deeptalk. That doesn't last too long because everyone has to return to their rooms

-it was a very fun night!! Something you're definitely going to repeat if given the chance

[my-mom-named-me-duck]

this rant spiraled into a vent.

read at your own risk.

your triggers are your responsibility not mine.

I'm too fucking lazy to put every possible trigger in the tags.

don't read this if there's a possibility you'll get triggered.

do you ever feel too scared to be sad? am I just weird? like im ok with joking about bad things that have happened to me but I just feel absolutely terrified to take myself seriously and let myself just kinda be a puddle

I'm the positive one I'm the one who always makes jokes I'm the entertaining one in so many peoples lives and I'm so scared of not being that because that's all I've ever been for so many y people for so long

what am I if I change

what will happen to me if I quit the act

I've slowly started to be less positive and I've lost so many friends and I've been forgotten by so many people so what will I become if I just stop being the funny lil guy

my friends and family are genuinely disturbed by what I've become slowly over time but its not like I've changed inside I've just gotten so burnt out by putting on a mask and its beginning to slip

im just so tired of this but I know I'll be dropped by everyone I care about if I cut the act

my mom already forgot me and all of my former friends either don't care about me or hate me

im just tired I'm tired of putting on a smile just because people are disgusted by me if I don't

im tired of being responsible for everyone's mental issues

im tired of picking sides

im tired

i just throw my problems into the void that is Tumblr because no one from my life will read this

i cant even talk to my therapist because if I do she'll have to make a report and I'll be sent back to the mental hospital so I just gotta bottle everything up and just fucking smile

auntie if you're somehow reading this through the parental controls. fuck you. I fucking hate you I wouldn't have fucking scars on my arm if it wasn't for you I wouldnt feel scared to talk to people about my problems through the internet if it wasn't for you I wouldn't feel so shitty if it wasn't for you I fucking hate you. every time I see my fucking arm I think of you every time I see that fucking dog in the corner of my screen I'm reminded that you're watching my every move you and the mental hospital are the reason I always feel like I'm being watched because I am i have no safe outlet I have no one to go to and I just sit here and boil in my stress yet you think this is way healthier than before how the fuck do you even think that this is the first time in years I've even had passive suicidal thoughts yet you see this as better fuck you I fucking hate you you're the reason I wanna drink again because I feel like absolute shit fuck you.

im not ok and I'm sick of trying to pretend that I am

I'm tired of being nice to the people who hurt me I'm tired of waking up every day I'm tired of this I'm tired of people pushing their mental issues on me I'm sick of people trying to feel sorry for themselves by saying "oh you feel like shit it must be my fault so let me make you feel guilty by blaming your problems on myself making you have to be my therapist and convince me that I'm not the reason you want to cry yourself to sleep making you feel even worse in the process"

i'm done with putting people first when they don't even give a shit about me

[friskebits]

CASEY JR IS SO SILLY SO HAVE A RANT ON HIM! So, we all know he was raised in an apocalypse, and there aren't any real life examples of how living like that would effect someone, but! I've been taking a intro to psych for a few months now and I might be wrong on a few things here so feel free to add onto this if u want :3 Moving on, you ever heard of Maslow's Hierarchy? No? Well here it is (and if you have just bear with me for a moment)

The way this hierarchy works is that in order to get to self-actualization, which is extremely hard to do in a normal world already, you need to have all the rows of this pyramid fulfilled, and Casey Jr was failed from step one. Obviously he was loved and cared for, but love and familial relationships come after physical needs. You can't build a pyramid starting from the third layer. Obviously the Turtles and Casey Sr and April tried their hardest but it's really hard to take care of a baby, especially with limited recourses and its safe to assume that every now and then he went hungry or was cold and didn't get enough rest, especially throughout his childhood. Obviously he grew up used to his unfortunate life so I'd like to think he sorta lived his own version version of this hierarchy, an unfulfilled one. Now with all of that out of the way, it's so wholeheartedly heartbreaking that this kid will never reach self-actualization which is literally basically just actually enjoying life, being creative, having fun in general pretty consistently. This fucking kid was failed from step one, and will probably never reach his full potential!

He was raised centered around one thing, stop the kraang. Having your entire life centered around one goal is really unhealthy, especially since he knows absolutely nothing outside of that goal. His entire conscious and unconscious mind is occupied with that goal. Even when he's safe and consciously is perfectly aware of his safety, his unconscious mind doesn't know that. Being in fight-or-flight mode for long periods of time isn't sustainable, it'll literally kill you, and he's been in fighting mode his entire life, sudden changes in setting and environment are gonna trigger that fight or flight response HARD. His first few weeks or months or hell even years with the present turtles is gonna be filled with him getting SO pissed at himself for still treating his life like he's gonna die at every turn, not to mention again going back to the pyramid, all of a sudden he's thrown into a place where he can fix himself and reach his full potential, but it's extremely possible that his constant need for a survival situation is a cardinal trait and he might not want to! It's very easy to get used to being scared, and it's very easy to assume he got really used to it.

Typically speaking after an extreme high (for Casey Jr, going to the past and saving the world) you get stuck in an extreme low. The relief we can tell he feels at the end of the movie is gonna be gone and fast. Not to mention the stress of being in an entirely new environment with people he knows that don't know him, being in a place where everyone else hasn't been failed in such a fundamental way the way he was, set up for failure from step one? This kid is NOT going to be okay for a VERY long time- and that's stacked on top of YEARS of ptsd and watching everyone he loves die, his entire being is out of place in the present and he breaks my heart because when you're in a place where you're so flawed, completely by yourself and stuck with people who will never understand your life, you're completely and utterly fucked.

(tags for friembs :3 @clanofjones @paytato435)

[tf2-green-ghosty]

HI!

I’m Elias!

I’m kinda a member of green team, but not really

HAHAHA

I used to be a therapist!

Can you believe that!?

HAHA

I’m sure we’ll get along!

As long as you’re not a damn Medic…

HAHAHAHAHA

Go ahead and ask questions!

Tags:

Answering asks- #Elias listens to the voices

Basic interactions- #Elias interactions

Single posts- #Elias is talking to himself again

Ooc, rules, and tw below cut

Hello, I’m Atlas. I kinda made up the green team off of a green image of Scout I saw. I run the @green-scout-tf2 blog and my main is @iaminyourbones

Feel free to make your own green team ocs as long as you show me, I wanna see them!

My pfp is a picrew since I’m shit at art

Here’s a close up of the credit

There isn’t really any rules besides no nsfw. Suggestive stuff is iffy if I don’t know you

If I’m uncomfortable with an ask I’m just not gonna answer it. I’m not gonna call anyone out or anything as long as you don’t spam nsfw stuff

Trigger warning for basically everything honestly. He’s literally insane who know what could happen. But really tw for abuse, gore, possibly hallucinations, and general insanity and mental illness as well as bright colors and disturbing imagery

I think that’s it. Feel free to send questions to me as well, I’ll gladly rant about my oc. The tw list will update over time.

Also I made the banner myself so if someone wants to make me a better banner or pfp I won’t complain

[nobodysdaydreams]

Are you Christian? hope that doesn't sound accusatory

Anon. I love you, but please know there is no possible way to drop into a stranger’s ask box anonymously demanding to know personal information (age, sex/gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, diagnoses, etc.) without sounding somewhat accusatory or at the very least a little nosey (because why do you need to know that), but reading your disclaimer did make me smile despite my apprehension regarding this inquiry, so I appreciate you adding that in.

This is also a weird one because I genuinely don’t know what answer you are hoping for or if you’re just curious and enjoy dropping into people’s inboxes to ask if they’ve heard the good word of Jesus Christ which I have to admit, is an interesting strategy though not one I’d recommend. I was gonna answer this anon with something like “what are you a cop?” Or “come back with warrant” (classic) but then upon reflection, realized I should probably clear some stuff up in case you are confused. So, uh, to answer the question, yes, I am, though that will require some explanation as religion is not really what this blog is for. This blog is where I dump my hyperfixations, rants about life, links to my fanfics, and maybe make a few friends along the way. Some of the media I engage with like Narnia happens to be Catholic/Christian, or have Christian themes, or be popular in Christian circles, but that’s more coincidental. This blog really has no clear organization at all, I just see stuff I like or personally identify with, reblog, and that’s that, so it’s mostly fandom content, but stuff on neurodivergence and disability slips in a lot because I identity with a lot of it and happen to know a fair amount about it, so it makes sense to have it on my blog from time to time.

Now, I believe you might be coming into my ask box to ask about this because I recently started following and reblogging a few posts from Christian content creators. The reason for that is ironically similar to the reason I got this blog in the first place. I had no one irl to talk about fandoms and hyperfixations with, and people didn’t want me talking about them irl, so I came here to do that, met a lot of nice people, we rant about fandoms together, it’s a good time. Currently, I’m not around people irl who are Christian, so I’ve started coming here for that too, and it’s worked out pretty great. Met some nice people, talked about headcanons and such, found a few neurodivergent Christians and the intersectionality is nice, mostly good stuff.

The one issue I ran into was that a good number of my established followers and mutuals have religious trauma or don’t like religion very much, so to be sensitive to that, I tag every reblog of a religious post “tw religion” or “tw religion mention” so that they know to block the tags if they don’t wanna see it, and then I save my long rants on Christian headcanons and stuff like that for private DM’s and discord conversations with mutuals who are interested in that. It’s just something I do to try to be respectful and acknowledge that while this is something that’s brought a lot of joy and positivity in my life, not everyone has experienced it that way, and they might not want to see that on their dash, and it can be genuinely triggering for people.

But while this seemed like a good idea at the time, I now realize why you probably feel the need to ask about my religious background, which is why I feel obligated to answer your question. Because… most people who reblog posts with “tw religion” have something to say against it, but people who like religion will just reblog the post. Which I now realize, upon reflection, leads to a lot of Christian creators getting notifications like “uh oh! Someone reblogged your art with the hashtag “tw religion” wonder what rant they have against you” and then they check and it’s just me going “wow nice art, Happy Easter and God Bless You, you’re incredibly talented 🥰, and also TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CONTENT!” and on the flip side it’s also probably weird for everyone who sees the hashtag “tw religion” and is like “haha…nice. A rant against faith. I gotta see this!” only to click on the post and see some really well drawn art of Jesus and the children with a ton of positivity. So um… sorry for confusion?

To make a long story short, yes, I’m Christian, but this blog is mostly fandom content, that’s why I created it and that’s what I’m here for. I do incorporate a lot of Christian themes in my fic writing just like I incorporate elements of my neurodivergence into my writing as well, but my writing is not explicitly Christian, anyone can enjoy it. You’re allowed to like things by different groups that you are not part of while still not completely agreeing with everything that particular group believes. I promise it’s okay, that’s how humans work, none of us will ever think completely alike, but we can still enjoy each other’s stuff sometimes. I promise the world won’t end because you liked a fanfic where I wrote Nicholas’ speech to Martina about forgiveness and how she’s still a good person to parallel God’s mercy and love for us, you can still like it and like the message while not agreeing with my idea of who God is or that there even is a God at all. Most if not all the characters in Wolf 359 are atheists, and I still enjoy the podcast (though I will note before people come in my comments about this, yes, there is obviously some nuance to this atheism as canonically Minkowski is culturally Christian, Doug kinda knows the our father and probably got dragged to church on Christmas/his birthday and Easter at some point, Daniel Jacobi’s name has Jewish origins so the character likely has some Jewish background, Maxwell is ex-evangelical, Hera strikes me as spiritual but not religious, Cutter and Pryce are atheists who left religion but kept all the toxic parts so they could make themselves gods, and this last one actually has no canon evidence whatsoever, but I firmly believe that Kepler is specifically agnostic not atheist, and he goes out of his way to emphasize this by saying stuff like “due to the limits of the human mind, we can never really know the truth about the big picture” or something like that, but I know he has a speech about it. No disrespect to my agnostic followers, but unfortunately I think Kepler would do this).

That tangent aside, I will end by saying this. I have all sorts of people following this blog: Christians, atheists, people of other faiths, members of the LGBTQ+ community, neurodivergent folks, BIPOC, and more, and they followed me for my unhinged rants and fandom content. They didn’t come here to have their identities and beliefs bashed, and due to the fandoms I am in, many of them are also minors. And I am so, so, scared about what my reply to this anon might bring to this blog, no matter the answer, so let me be very clear: if you use this post, or any of my posts, to spread hate and negatively towards anybody, you’re blocked. I have already done this a few times when I’ve seen it around tumblr. If you think it was a mistake, let me know, but I’m not exposing my young followers to that. That’s not gonna help anybody, and there are so many better things you could be doing with your time.

With that said, if the tagging system is not working out, and you’d prefer I put the religious stuff on a side blog my non-Christian followers can block while still enjoying my usual content on the main, I can do that too. Whatever makes it easier for y’all.

*this would be a bummer, because I just hit an even 200, which is tricky to do when all you got is two of the tiniest fandoms alive and not much else. But look after yourself, I wish you well, and I’ll get over it.

[timur-pannonicus]

Azula, Iroh and Lu Ten speculation and possible hc

It's been a really long time since I made an original post so here we go.

Trigger warning: Gender roles, marriage within families, historical realities that are repugnant to a lot of modern people.

Anyway...

I didn't come up with the theory myself but there's a headcanon that Azula and Lu Ten were supposed to be married, as arranged by the then Fire Lord Azulon.

If you take the comics as proof, there's a scene where Azulon says that he's marrying Ozai of to Ursa so that the union of Sozin's and Roku's blood will create a powerful dynasty that will rule the world.

However, Azulon is outraged at the very notion presented by Ozai that his firstborn Iroh should be disinherited, which leads to the possible conclusion that Ozai and his progeny were never meant to succeed the throne but to marry into the main line to strengthen it.

Even if you reject the comics it still remains plausible. Azulon clearly didn't have much love for Ozai, marriage between cousins in a great lot of societies through history barely raised eyebrows among commoners, never mind royalty, who often mistakenly believed "pure" blood makes offspring stronger.

Azulon might have arranged the marriage soon after Azula was born or also likely when she proved to be a prodigy and genius at firebending.

In any case, it provides a different or at least additional kind of explanation for Iroh's attitude towards Azula.

Lu Ten was most likely at least in his twenties when he died so Iroh knew what kind of women his son got along with and which not. Thus he tried to influence her into being the kind of girl his son would like. As we all know, she wasn't measuring up when she was little and after Lu Ten's death Iroh lost a good chunk of his motivation to try getting along with her.

It also gives new light on why Ozai dug his claws into her so early and raised her to be as much like him as possible. Even if he never formally got the throne he could influence the nation through his daughter, the queen.

This adds to his she was born lucky comment, from the start she had the right gender.

Plus, in my benefit of the doubt interpretation of Azula she did feel at least somewhat positive towards Lu Ten. Apart from condemning Iroh for not razing Ba Sing Se in revenge for his death there's the infamous moment where she asks Ursa and Zuko what would happen if Iroh died. She did not ask about Lu Ten and when Zuko counters and asks how she would feel if Lu Ten wanted Ozai dead, she doesn't talk back but runs out of the room.

Might also explain why she never really mentioned wanting the throne. For a good chunk of her life she was supposed to be queen anyway, giving her a rather secure sense of entitlement, so why announce it out loud to everyone?

Rant end.

Note: I'm pretty sure I will face disagreement but I simply like speculation for its own sake at times. Maybe I'm too hard or too soft on a character. Feel free to give reason why I am wrong but NO foul language or personal insults will be tolerated from my side and I don't want to see people being rude to each other in notes or reblogs either.

I'm also not exactly the best at tagging so if you have suggestions for that I'm all ears.

I wish you all a nice day.

[just-antithings]

(sorry if there's mistakes i have pulled an all-nighter and haven't gotten enough sleep. Also, I'm the guy who once made an ask that ranted about antis in my talking planet fandom)

Bro antis love to just look at posts/fanfics that have the most clear, no-nonsense summary/tags, and then puke when the tags/summary was honest, and claim to be "literally tramuatized i am crying i wanna die!!!"

On Wattpad and AO3 i posted a fic.

And in that fic, the character Neptune humps an Asteroid named Guillermo.

(Neptune is insane and due to his loneliness and delusions he drew faces on asteroids and believed they were real, and named one guillermo for some not-needed context)

On the AO3 ver, i used the tags "Neptune/Guillermo", "male masturbation", "humping", and "sex with an asteroid". Those are pretty clear tags, i think. Therefore, people would ignore the fic because these were some clear tags, and ao3 people know how to curate their fandom experience, right?

Apperently, i was wrong since one guy was like "I haven't finished reading this but i don't wanna finish it but I'm still reading it".

Like, if you don't wanna read it, don't!

And later that guy was like

"I read your fic and i wanna die. Not saying it was bad, it was good, but in a bad way,"

I responded with a really long ranty comment about how insensitive they were, how they were practically saying my work is bad, how using suicidal thoughts as a lighthearted thing for daily use is terrible, and how they could just stop reading it.

(I then felt kinda guilty for that response and deleted the whole thread.)

On the wattpad version, since tags mean nothing, i used the summary to explain the whole fic, being as clear as i could possibly be.

i wrote as the summmary "Neptune jacks himself off with an asteroid by humping. Dead dove, don't eat! Grapefruit." And that is pretty fucking clear, right?

Since the AO3 version had people not curate their fandom experience, perhaps the Wattpad version would be better? Knowing their reputation i doubt it, but there's a chance tha-

Oh, wait, nevermind. I was right at the beginning.

While i was reading another fanfic that wasn't mine, i saw someone comment something along the lines of

"Read it and i wanna cry and die!!! Maybe it's because i just read a disgusting neptune x guillermo sm-t fanfic and that traumatized me :(((( Especially since i know how s-x works"

Like, WHAT???

I tagged and made a very clear summary, and the fanfic wasn't even bad by itself! There was no illegal activity in it at all! It was just a planet deciding to hump an asteroid. I didn't even put much detail. I used the word "southermost points" as a replacement for using cock or pussy(TBH i was just undecided on what i wanted neotunes genitals to look like so i went vague)

and why does that guy think they think my fic is bad because they "know how sex works"??? Bro, bro, bro...

No, you don't, your experience in sex ed was by puritains! If you know so much about sex, then why treat it like a cursed swear nastybadewwgross? What's with the censoring of the word? Sex ain't a swear, almost everyone has done or thought of doing. Your mum and dad did it! Nothing nasty 'bout that!

And how does knowing about sex even- What??? I'm confused about that guy. What was his point? Huh?

And my fanfic did not tramautize you! Fanfiction cannot tramautise ANYTHING! It can disturb people, but that's not trauma! Fanfiction may trigger people, but that can be avoided by clicking away, ignoring the fic, and blocking the user! I made it very clear what that fanfic was about. If you wouldn't like it, why read it? Huh?

(Also, i saw that guy comment something "It's worse when you yourself drew worse... As an artist, it's scary..." And i feel kinda bad for them. Why would people be ashamed of their own art? Why would people shame others but indulge in the same stuff? Why must things be a GUILTY-pleasure? Why could you not just be happy for yourself and your art?)

I am not holding these people hostage, i am not chaining them, and shoving my fanfiction in their face shouting "Read it!" I am just a guy who writes fetish smut.

It is not hard to ignore something and block someone. You are only chained by your consious. You are not chained by me.

Anyways, these people could see a building with big letters "Gun shop!", tons of big and small drawings of guns, the word "gun shop" written in every dead and alive language on earth, go inside anyways, and complain about the guns and how they expected candy.

Is it so hard for antis to just curate their internet experience and mind their own beeswax?

[parameciam]

i'm so tired of fandom police and people that demands that i justify why i like the things i like / ship the things i ship -.-

CW: mentions of SA, CSA, ableism + long rant incoming about my own experience in fandom as an autistic person

this morning i stumbled on a post (not here) about my fav ship, saying that we should talk about a certain scene (dubcon) and that their shippers never talks about it.

i read the whole thing and ended up so fkn annoyed and spent all day thinking about why i was so mad.

it's not because someone doesn't like my fav ship, btw, i couldn't care less about other people ship preferences. i only care about my own and wish everyone else did the same so i can enjoy my "problematic" things in peace, thank u very much.

it wasn't about the dubcon part either, i know it's triggering, it's complicated, and many people won't ever ship them because of that. no one is required to ship them, or like them at all, btw. (addendum: it's a canon side ship, not fanon) and of course i'm not going to question other people's squicks and triggers, esp since i was sexually abused as a child.

and then it dawned on me that that i was mad because the post wasn't really an invitation for us shippers to share our views on them. it was an invitation for other people to be scandalized with them about shiping something like that, and since they directly mentioned the ship and the characters, i stumbled upon it.

for a moment i contemplated the possibility of actually replying and going meta over my blorbos, but decided against it because i don't have the emotional capacity to participate on discourse without fear of ending up having a meltdown.

but i kept thinking of how this kind of thing has happened all my life: the things i like, the ships i ship, the characters i love, the media i consume, and the ways i enjoy them have always been questioned (for different reasons across time). being autistic equals being perceived as wrong, broken, too much, too little, too weird (long list of misc etc) and people outright tells you that or shows it anyway, even if they think they don't lol so I'm like, extra tired of feeling excluded and/or constantly being made to feel wrong and immoral.

it's not like i don't know that some of the thinks i like/write/read etc are dark, morally wrong, unsafe irl, etc. it's just that i enjoy all that in fiction, i think it's a safe place to explore delicate issues and themes, and esp enjoy finding the nuances that the narrative wants to explore. i love imperfect victims, i love good people making wrong choices, i love the realism of gray characterization.

i don't anyone to tell me shit i already know, i have eyes, i read/watched the same novel/manga/whatever. maybe we have different interpretations, but that's it. i don't think i'm morally superior, nor do i want to be. what i do want are discussions in good faith.

maybe that's why no one mentions that scene either, because we already know how that's going to go (and it's already a small side of fandom, so why bother).

sorry for the looong ramble, i needed to get this out of my system. i don't want to tag the ship/fandom because this was mainly about my own feelings and don't want to bring hate or initiate discourse about them.

in fact, most of my thoughts and feelings about them are going to take the form of a fic relatively soon: i don't feel qualified to write meta about them 😅 but i want to explore so many things about them, and disability, and ableism, autonomy, agency, etc etc etc.

[info-dumping-ground]

Welcome to the dumping ground, your top location for dumping your info!

Are you neurodivergent and need somewhere to infodump? Are you hyperfixated on something and need to meet other people to discuss it with? Is there something that you like so much that you might burst if you don't rant about it?

If yes, then you're in the right place!

The dumping ground is a place where you can freely rant about the things you like, and possibly find other people who'll want to discuss it with you! Just send in an ask and go nuts about a thing you like, let out as much info as you want! Or, if you need to meet other people to discuss something with, send an ask with what you're into, I'll tag it, and hopefully people who also want to rant will reblog the post and let you know!

More details and rules under the cut :>

Rules:

Start off your ask with what exactly you'd like me to do with it- you could send the ask and then ask me to delete it if you don't want your ramblings to be shown to the world. Alternatively, you could tell me what exactly to tag the post with so more people who could potentially want to talk can find it!

Most topics are fine, but anything that I deem triggering will have trigger warnings on it. History and real world events are fine to rant about, as long as the ask is respectful.

However, I will unfortunately not post asks about NSFW topics. Both for the fact that I personally find it uncomfortable and the fact that other blogs exist for discussing such subjects.

The only other asks that are not allowed are ones that are bigoted or discriminatory. If I accidentally post something that is along these lines, please kindly tell me and I'll remove it. I can't know the ins and outs of all topics, so I might misjudge if something is discriminatory

Tags I will use:

#Dumping Info = A general tag for posting an infodumping ask

#Dumping Buddies = A general tag for when someone is looking for other people to talk to about a topic

#Not Dumping = A tag I will use when posting something unrelated to the blog theme

#Dumping Ground Rambles = A tag you can block if you want, I will tag posts where I infodump about my own interests with this :>

[dark-nimbus]

Welcome to the Void!

About Me

I’m Nimbus (they/them), but I’ll answer to any of my other names and users. I’m just a giant fuckin nerd with no idea how I ended up here. Also a broke sleep-deprived college student with raging ADHD but we vibin’ ✌🏽

Enby Panromantic/Demisexual (if you’re bothered by that statement this blog is not safe for you)

Polytheistic pagan witch

East Asian transracial adoptee (transracial as in adopted and raised by people of a different race)

Aspiring artist and writer

If it wasn’t already clear from the college student mention, I am indeed an adult. No age number because 1.) I don’t actually know it and 2.) people for whatever reason act creepier when I do put a number

General Blog Info

You know how some people have an art dump account? This is my nerd dump account. Enjoy this dumpster-fire of a blog lmao, I post what I please without rhyme or reason

Possible content you can expect to see:

ThePandaRedd memes

Nerdy fanart

Essay rants on nerd shit and mainstream media

Fics? Maybe? Eventually? Idk y’all are gonna need to request shit I already got my hands full with my own writing projects

Blog Warnings

I am. The most inconsistent bitch on this Earth. I’ll more often than not appear for a time then randomly dip. I promise I didn’t abandon this blog I just have ADHD 💀

While I’ll never go into sexually explicit content on this blog, I do talk about other controversial, mature, and potentially dark topics. I’ll always have content warnings at the top of those posts, but please be aware of your own triggers and mental health

Minors are welcome here, but keep the above note in mind and be respectful

DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE:

Antisemitic

Racist

RCTA/ECTA (aka the racist/misappropriated kind of transracial)

Xenophobic

Zionist

Queerphobic (including transphobia, homophobia, biphobia, acephobia, etc)

A TERF

Sexist

Misogynistic

Fatphobic

A “MAP”

Pro-life/anti-choice

A trump supporter

Ableist

Anti-vaxx

Islamophobic

Antiziganic

Support cultural appropriation

Support AI

Publicly advocate for piracy

Tags

To be added

Notes About Rant Essays

I try to choose my topics based on what problems I notice and what I have a deep understanding of or affects me directly. If I myself don’t experience it I speak based on the communities I’ve surrounded myself with and my own in-depth research. That being said while I am many things, being omniscient and having every experience in the world is not one of them. If I speak on something directly relating to you that isn’t completely factually accurate or is offensive/insensitive to that community you’re a part of, please let me know. I have an ask box and my DMs are open, and I’m open to conversation and criticism as long as you’re respectful and have constructive intentions. I try to educate myself as best I can, but I am still human and still learning. However I will not accept any conversation that vehemently insists on defending anything or anyone listed in the DNI section above. There’s no excuse for bigotry, ever

Nerdy Interests

More will be added to this list as I remember them or find more interests. If you don’t see something but want to know if I enjoy or will make content regarding it, feel free to leave something in my ask box

Also: if there’s anything problematic about any authors or things listed, please let me know. I try to ensure what I enjoy has no negative content within or attached to it, but my awareness of such issues is nowhere near perfect

D&D

Critical Role

DC Comics

Batfamily

Mr. Miracle

Titans (not HBO)

Young Justice League

Marvel Comics

Cosplay

Video games

Assassin’s Creed

Skyrim

Overwatch

Until Dawn

Manga/Anime

Arslan Senki

Boku no Hero Academia

Shingeki no Kyojin

Studio Ghibli

Vinland Saga

Fullmetal Alchemist/FMA:B

Books/Authors

Ranger’s Apprentice

Adrienne Young

Margaret Rogerson

Ready Player One

Lord of the Rings

Not Even Bones

The Witcher

Webtoons

Purple Hyacinth

Subzero

Cape of Spirits

Reunion

Midnight Poppyland

Loving Reaper

Love Advice from the Great Duke of Hell

Third Shift Society

Crumbs

Wolfsbane

Spell for a Smith

Movies

To be added

TV shows

Castlevania

Arcane

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

[th-rdimpact]

i'm watching a craaaaazy lot of movies about sewer slide and kinda g°ry stuff in general and it's making me hella triggered lmaooooooooooooo

long ass review and rant about some movies i watched recently (as if i don't already have a letterboxd for this) anyways, strong themes mentioned beware

anyways su1c1de club isn't good? i was kinda hyped on learning Sion Sono style, sampling two movies (Tag, 2015, and this one) and hhhhhh, i mean it's a 2001 movie... his style definetly got more defined over the years i guess. maybe i'll try another one of his, this one just really wasn't it.

but As The Gods Will and Ichi The Killer are so consistent even being like 14 years apart? I wanted to hit up some Takashi Miike stuff after seeing he'll be adapting Onimusha and omg I'm kinda excited! I didn't think Kamisama no Iutoori really works as a movie, but I really liked the direction and nonlinear storytelling. and is hilarious as when I was talking about it with my boyfriend we found out the author also made Blue Lock (he hated the concept of the movie/manga and loves BL he was devastated). And Ichi the Killer? Holy shit, I love movies with extremely unhinged men like fr fr ughhhh. I loved Karen tho I was so sad when Ichi went ballistic on her.. And man Kakihara dresses SO FUCKING WELL, I was extremely delighted to find out the actor is Lord Raiden in the most recent MK movies ughhhh he's so fine.. and well back to his direction, I even commented with my bf he'd make a great Re:Zero adaptation if he'd like. Like the nonlinear stuff just pairs so well with the way he presents a story, like showing the present, then the past, then a glimpse on an earlier moment of the present, then another shot on another POV altogether like !??!?!?! imagine being in a direction contest and your opponent is the man who made Yakuza, Jojo, Ace Attorney, even fucking Dead or Alive live actions, like just you get to this level?? anyways watching movies is really a blessing i thank all the Gods for this possibility I love it so much omfggg1!?!?!?

is like so good to outgrow small and obnoxious characteristics of yourself, like when I was smaller I never went to the movies (my parents just weren't interested because we def could afford), I used to haaate live action movies they just weren't as fun as animations and ugh how could I have kept myself locked from gems like this for so long? Like this literally started to change a few 2/3 years ago???? likeee aaaah!??!!??!

and as an ending note it's like suuuper hypocritical I complained to my bf about the murd3r and r4p& scene on Suicide Club because there's an almost identical scene in A Clockwork Orange, even forgive me the wording, is really one of the most iconic scenes from the movie. I also couldn't stop thinking about Genesis by Eden everytime the damn character was on screen it was super annoying.

if anyone read up til here (lmao) watch Guinea Pig 4 Devil Woman Doctor, is just a couple of very funny skits of the Doctor (portrayed by actor Shinnosuke Ikehata/Peter, who stars as Eddie in The Funeral Parade of Roses (1969)!!) "treating" her patients with very unnsual illnesses, such as a talking stomach, a tattoo that doesn't stand still, and so on! It's like super funny and you can see everyone there has their share of fun, as the movie ends with everyone literally laughing their asses off. You can watch it on youtube w/ eng subs. and obv, you don't need to watch any previous Guinea Pig movies, they are even too much for me for what I've heard of it, at least for now.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hello there, I just wanted to ask, is an heavier side of trauma okay to discuss/rant about in light detail (or leaving out detail where possible)? I'm talking especially RAMCOA and its ties with religious abuse. it's totally fine if not! I understand it can be a very hard topic to talk about from the side of the listeners too

Hi anon,

Yes, that's fine! As long as you put necessary trigger warnings at the beginning of your message, you can be as concise or detailed as you want. We will also tag relevant trigger warnings for any readers.

-Bun