#LMAO THAT ARMY'S SO SMOOTH

[taee]

gentle jimin

[kedsandtubesocks]

cosmic love

Marcus Acacius x F!Reader x Marcus Pike

summary: a missing statue, a handsome ancient roman general, an equally handsome museum visitor - and you caught in the magical (and wonderful) mess of it all

tags & warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI, MAJOR GLADIATOR 2 SPOILERS. time travel AU, magic elements, pining & yearning, fluff but with touches of angst, implied age gap (Acacius being older than both reader & Marcus), light use of gendered language, bi!Marcus Acacius & bi!Marcus Pike, brief mention of death & existential questioning, spicy themes, smut (threesome, m!oral, one moment of spitting) M/M/F & M/M dynamics, polyamorous exploration that leads to eventual poly relationship, no use of y/n

word count: 7.5k

a/n: I’m sorry I blame the gladiator statue pics we got & yeah now here we are lmao, this fic literally wouldn’t be here without @pedgito & @perotovar - i can’t thank you two enough for all the help i love y’all tremendously, also a sweet special tag for @morallyinept ily too… And lastly - thank you for reading, you’re what makes this so special and magical ♡

The statue that arrived with the newly updated Roman exhibition at your museum has gained attention.

As a guide you enjoy seeing all the new faces here to check out the freshly opened installation. The heightened foot traffic has kept you and your co-workers busy, but it’s been a nice welcome.

Your eyes drift to the statue now.

General Marcus Acacius stands slightly weathered yet still commanding in his bronze glory, towering among the room with all the grace a powerful Roman Army commander would be.

You learned he conquered countless territories and countries in the name of the Ancient Roman Empire. Eventually though, he was caught in a conspiracy to overthrow the ruling emperors and died within the eyes of the coliseum, the whisper of a gladiator’s death.

Now you readily explain this all to tour groups like the one you currently guide.

“Oh, he’s cute.” One of the elementary school girls currently giggles to her friend. The other school children gasp around her, teasing her.

“It’s okay. He is pretty handsome, isn’t he?” You reassure her. The girl seems bashful but relieved at your agreement.

It wasn’t just you. A local internet influencer stopped by and even made a video about the statue being her dream guy.

Even as a statue, the General is eye-catching.

The bronze figure captured his likeness bewitchingly detailing the soft curls of his hair, a lovely sharp nose, mountainous strong broad shoulders, and a pensive stare looking out to a distant horizon. He’s a man of unwavering beauty.

You constantly want to smack yourself for being wistful over a piece of art.

“He’s definitely the most attractive statue I’ve seen.” A familiar smooth sweet voice melts into the room’s quiet softness making your heart jump.

Approaching you with a molten smile and eyes twinkling in the low museum lights, Marcus doesn’t seem real at times.

A regular visitor, you first met him when he accidentally crashed one of your tours. Wholesomely thoughtful, but also being a charming yet slightly know it all, he was quick to join in on commentary of the paintings. With his Disney prince-like smile and earnest eager energy, you couldn’t dare shoo him away.

Now you happily seek his company.

“He’s become like a hot new celebrity here.” Joking, you nudge towards the General’s striking figure.

“I can see why.” Marcus whistles low. “Like look at those shoulders.”

You snicker as a bubbling fondness swells in you.

“He unfortunately died a tragic death.” Marcus comments, cloudy and mournful.

“Yeah, I heard. That means this guy is a bad boy.” You nod.

Marcus snickers at your comment then playfully nudges you with his elbow.

Later, all your co-workers beg you to ask him out to coffee.

“He’s totally got the hots for you!” Your favorite co worker often tells you, but you wave her off.

Marcus is just sweet. He’s kind and considerate, engaging to all the workers here. Besides, you don’t want to assume he possibly likes you and maybe ruin the precious friendship you have with him.

However, your favorite coworker shows up a few days later with a solution for your stale love life.

With a cheeky bright grin, she hands you the cutest pink velvet pouch in the break room.

“It’s called a love wish tea.” She declares.

She grabbed a pack of them at the local occult shop after the lovely witch who owned the place swore it worked.

“It calls in your heart’s desires and hey, it worked for me! That’s why I still have a pack left over!” She proudly recommends.

You roll your eyes but appreciate the gift.

Shoving it into your bag, you don’t give it much thought.

Then the cooler cozier weather settles in, the perfect time for museum dates. Strolling along the floors keeping a watch on everyone it’s hard not to notice the intake of couples. Some are intertwined beside each other staring fondly at a painting together, while others happily take photos of the other being silly.

A taste of loneliness fills you, but gently you sweep it away focusing back on work. Especially since tonight you’ll be locking up.

Already craving some extra caffeine, you glare seeing the break room depleted of any sweet salvation.

The small velvet pink bag in your bag immediately comes to mind. And at this point you think, why not. it will at least keep you awake.

Immediately out of the pouch the tea bag releases a soothing smell, a rich floral blending with delicate touches of a fruit scent, possibly pomegranate. You’re now excited just to taste it, love wish or not.

The tea steeps in your tumbler cup allowing a faint rose color to float into your water. Of course the tea is pretty too.

And the taste? Rich, lovely and warm, like a romantic valentine-like themed drink. It doesn’t reward you with a sensation of being in love, but instead you feel at peace.

After a few sips, you return to the floor.

There, Marcus sits on one of the benches in the Roman exhibition.

Curled over a leather sketchbook, he’s every bit the personification of a scholarly beautiful artist straight out of a romance novel. His face glanced up then back down to his sketch. Diligent concentration paints over his gorgeous face.

Cautious, yet eager, you approach.

He’s sketching a portrait of the General. The sharp edges of the charcoal, the smudges meant to mimic shadows, along with capturing the striking slopes of the General’s features - it’s fantastic.

“You’re amazing!”

Your compliment causes him to jolt slightly spooked, and you rapidly apologize. Once he catches sight of you, Marcus sighs with a dreamy relieved sleepy grin.

“Just sketching, nothing too crazy.”

You take a seat besides him on the bench.

“You captured his likeness so well already.” You’re in awe at the sketch.

Marcus laughs a bit nervously. It’s hard trying not to swoon at the light rose blush coloring his cheeks. He’s stunning.

“I bet General Acacius would be flattered.” You grin then glance back to the statue.

Marcus turns to follow your sight.

“Nah, he strikes me as a big relief fan.” Marcus comments thoughtfully.

The bad art joke isn’t lost on you, and you snicker beside him. Among the giggles you catch Marcus staring at you, the softest boyish grin tugging his lips.

The world melts into a splendid focus all on him.

This isn’t good. You can’t be thinking about possibly leaning in to kiss cute visitors while you’re still on the clock.

“Hey… so I’ve been meaning to ask if maybe we could-”

His phone ringing cuts Marcus off causing you to shoot up from the bench. Jumping on the call, Marcus seems apologetic and almost sad as you wave him bye to him.

Closing time approaches. You and your co-workers do one final look around the rooms. Marcus is nowhere to be found.

The Roman exhibition now sits sleepily still.

The dim glow coats the general’s statue, a glistening chopper. Even with the chips and weathering of time, he stands glorious as you stroll closer.

He really must have been something fierce for the empire to immortalize him in such grand fashion.

“You must’ve been a pretty amazing man.” You mutter mainly to yourself, gently touching the base of the elevated display platform he rests upon.

You wish him a good night and head home. You try not to think of stunning statues or cute museum visitors.

Next morning you’re woken up by a call from work, a frantic one.

“The fucking hot ass statue is missing.” Your co-worker hisses.

You don’t believe it till you see it.

But you’re knocked breathless at the sight.

General Marcus Acacius is missing. The once grand presence he added to the room is absent, vanished, as if plucked from the air itself.

It’s almost unnerving to see the once elevated space now hauntingly vacant.

Chaos brews humming all around. Copes scurry around everywhere, and plenty of people stand outside curious to what’s going on. A controlled whirlwind fills your museum. Various officers keep the scene roped off.

The museum decides to close for the rest of the week to let the police handle as much as they can. You adore the museum truly, but there’s one spot you love the most. Right by the break room leading from various different doors is an outdoor courtyard. It’s become a place of solace.

The bubbling dread has you stepping out here one more time. The sky above looms with a cold front approaching and casts a somber shadow over the space even more.

The shrubs rustle off the side among the thick greenery, and you figure it’s a bird.

“It’s you.” Until a new voice speaks to you. Rich, heavily accented and smooth, it startles you.

You wonder if you’re imagining things.

The man is dressed in Roman attire, elaborate white armor adorned with ornate gold pieces. Glorious graying curls frame his ethereal aged face.

How did a cosplayer manage to sneak in?

He stares so directly at you it frightens you a bit.

“You’re the one who’s voice I heard…” he continues to speak. “It was like I was asleep, drifting away. Then you woke me.”

“Sir, how did you manage to get in here?” You ask, trying to stay as calm as you can.

“I do not know. I simply woke and found myself in this strange place.” He explains with a furrowed brow.

You wonder…is this a strange bit the museum is maybe trying to pull off, and they didn’t tell you.

He steps forward now, and instinctively you walk back cautious. The man must take in your reaction because his face, his handsome face that now looks vaguely familiar, frowns. He holds his hands up defensively.

“I mean no harm. I just need to know what happened to me.”

Someone calls out your name, sounds like your boss. “Come on let’s head out.”

The stranger repeats it and how smooth his voice is, your name rolls off his tongue.

“I am General Marcus Acacius, and I am in need of your assistance.”

That makes your brain scratch.

“Wait, what?” You turn to him confused. “What did you say your name was again?”

He repeats it firmer.

Marcus Acacius.

As in… General Marcus Acacius.

There’s no way.

“Oh, so you’re an actor.” You deadpan.

“I…am confused? I’m no performer. I promise you that.” He almost sounds huffy.

You gotta give him credit. The guy stays in character pretty well.

“You shouldn’t be here, actor or not.” You tell him, heading back inside. Of course this man follows you in.

At the sight of the glass door and the movement of it, he pauses stunned, like he can’t process it. You almost want to laugh.

“You’re pretty good, even though you say you’re not an actor.” You tease.

He frowns hard not enjoying that.

“Either tell me what is going on or I will find a man who will.” He snaps loud and your eyes go wide.

His memorizing face scrunches up in frustration. Dark amber eyes are coated in fierce anger.

“I wake up in a strange place filled with artifacts and see people dressed strange. What is going on?” His voice rises confused, panicking.

Either he’s the most amazing actor ever or…

No.

It can’t be.

Too many thoughts swirl in your head like angry bees trying to make your brain explode.

You need a minute. So you grab the mystery man’s arm, practically dragging him to follow you.

“Excuse you? Where are you taking me?” He demands.

“Somewhere safe.” You half lie.

Unfortunately your boss stops you. His worried eyes catch sight of the man in the armor. You’re quick to explain he’s an actor, upset about the missing statue.

“I am not a-”

You shush the strange man harshly. Your boss, hesitant and worried, surveys him.

“He shouldn’t be here.” Your boss says firm.

“Yup, and I was just showing him the way out.” You happily explain.

Thankfully your boss gets called away, and you make your escape.

“Are you abducting me?” He demands harder.

“Look, I’m the only one here who might be able to help you.” You hiss back.

“I am the commanding General of the Roman armies.” His voice blooms stronger when you reach the lobby. “I will find my way around.”

You swallow hard. A small but chaotic idea quickly jumps into your mind, and you decide to put it into action.

So, you hold the exit door open for him. The man nods to you, then strolls out. You follow him.

The towering skyscrapers, the rush of the cars, the stretching concrete roads, it becomes an overwhelming sight while the man whips his face around eyes wide and in shock. His face falls, aghast and disoriented.

That unrealistic conclusion you thought of - you think it might not be so realistic. Because the man turns to you wearing petrified horror, terrified confusion of a man in an unknown world that no actor could truly capture.

Reality smacks into you like a bag of nails.

This man is truly the great General Marcus Acacius.

The missing statue now full man summoned to life.

Someone yells your name.

Your heart drops. Of course Marcus arrives at the worst time. He jogs up to you dressed in what looks like a gym outfit.

“I heard about the statue.” He says worried then his eyes immediately grow cloudy and confused as he catches sight of the strange Roman dressed man.

“Is he… a friend of yours?” Marcus asks hesitantly.

“It’s complicated.” You blurt, panicked.

General Acacius stands still very stunned trying to take this new modern world in. Stumbling, he returns to your side, clutching your arm like you’re the only one who can steady him.

“I…” Acacius begins then stops mid word, still trying to process a reply. Until he catches sight of Marcus.

“You,” The man surveys Marcus with narrowing eyes. “You seem familiar as well.”

This is getting out of hand.

“Okay time to go.” You rapidly try diffusing the situation, moving General Acacius away from Marcus.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Marcus questions, persistently following behind while you head to the parking lot.

You scramble out a lie that the strange man is an old friend you ran into who just came back from a play.

“I told you, I’m no performer.” Acacius insists still. You also discover he’s built like a wall and trying to wrangle him into the car proves to be Herculean.

Swiftly, Marcus firmly snaps out your name. His tone is different, urgent and enforcing. It turns you into a statue yourself.

Comedically, you’re practically halfway shoving Acacius into the car but now stand frozen. He notices the shift in tension quickly.

“Are you frightened of him?” Acacius mutters concern, surprisingly concerned. “Because I can dispose of this man.”

You shake your head no.

Swallowing hard, you finally look Marcus dead in the eyes.

“If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” You admit.

“Try me.” Marcus rebuffs, serious as steel.

So you sigh, what more do you have to lose now?

“General, can you please tell him who you are.” You then allow Acacius to speak for himself.

The ancient Roman clears his throat and announces his full title and name. The younger and modern Marcus’s face twists confused with a hint of concern.

Suddenly his eyes go wide. He catches on fast, figures it out quicker than you did that’s for sure.

This cute casual museum visitor you have a slight crush on is now your accomplice and partner in crime.

At least…now you don't have to deal with an ancient Roman General being brought back to life from stone alone.

— °˖➴ —

Marcus’s apartment is lush and cozy, filled with so many books and records. The warm walls, sleek modern design, make your place feel like a hole in the wall. Having a roommate, you couldn’t just bring home a very confused man out of time. So thankfully Marcus offered his home.

Now you’ve practically been living here with General Acacius trying to figure out what happened.

Acacius takes things rather well, almost in stride. Fitting for a general that explored new territories and had to face the unknown chaos of war.

The fridge fascinates him the most. You had to stop yourself from laughing seeing him open and close the refrigerator door like a child wondering if the food inside would disappear.

Marcus has a vice for candy, specifically sour ones. Seeing General Acacius try one and the disgusted face of twisted torture is a memory you’ve replayed over multiple times.

But unfortunately no one can figure out what brought the statue to life and him here.

“I’m a man. Not a statue.” The roman general clarifies.

“You are now, but we gotta figure out why.” You sigh exhausted while Marcus readies breakfast for everyone.

He’s been an incredible host. It’s been hard not lingering on how domestic and warm he is within his own space.

Especially when there’s also an archaic man looking just as handsome walking around in a tight white t shirt Marcus lent him.

Surrounded by two unbelievably gorgeous men has been a double edged sword, a blessing and curse.

General Acacius reminds you of a mountain, ever powerful, sturdy and unwavering with the change of seasons. Yet there’s still an open vulnerability to him. You’ve seen it in how grateful he’s been and how eagerly he’s tried absorbing all about this new world.

Whereas Marcus reminds you of a river, beautifully flowing, always adaptable. But he surprises you with how direct and firm he’s been, almost protective in keeping you and Acacius safe.

You also don’t miss the way Marcus’s eyes sometimes flicker to sneak a glance at the older General. You can’t blame him.

Acacius fills out modern clothes sinfully. Watching him navigate everything with a certain poised grace is attractive. While Marcus has become endearing and patient, incredibly welcoming to this new hiccup in his life. You haven't felt this comfortable with someone in so long.

Truly a river and mountain now exist in your life, and you want to stay in their atmosphere more and more.

But you can’t get tangled in the budding emotions growing for these men.

You need to figure out how to help Acacius.

“Once I get back to the office, I’m hoping I can try to find something that could maybe help.” Marcus clarifies while grabbing his work bag.

You’ve learned much about him these past few days. Like he enjoys a good run, used to be a swimmer, has a soft spot for strays, surprisingly loves football -

Also that he’s a well known FBI agent.

You realized you never once asked what he did for work, and you’ve known him for months.

“You have feelings for that man.” Acacius announces once it’s you and him alone in the apartment. You almost spit out your drink.

“We’re friends, that’s all.” You huff.

This Marcus doesn’t seem to believe you, and gives you a very modern dry eyed side glare that makes you roll your eyes.

“I’ve seen the way he watches you, the look of a man in love.” Acacius continues.

“Well I see the way he stares at you too, pal.” You reply back before you can even realize what you said.

Your words do their job stunning the general.

“He is too young for an old man like me.” Acacius rapidly fires back.

“You’re not that old.” You clarify. “If anything you’re distinguished, mature.”

“You are too kind, dear lady.” He chuckles.

You ignore how fast warmth spreads through you a dangerous wildfire just hearing him.

Your phone ringing makes poor Acacius jump. Though, it’s progress from the confused shout he used to yell whenever the phones rang.

Your boss explains that unfortunately the museum will have to stay closed the rest of the month for further investigations, and everyone’s information has been sent in to check for any suspicious activities.

It sounded serious.

Dead serious because after that phone call, you get called by the police department to head in for a few questions.

You have nothing to hide, except you did.

Because in theory you technically did and didn’t steal the statue. You just know the cops wouldn’t take your explanation.

The interrogation room you sit in is coated in a bleak serious air making you fidget worried. This is also the first time you left General Acacius alone at the apartment and that worry picks at you.

Then two officers walk in. One an older distinguished woman who gives you a nod then the other… a rather striking man.

Hawkish nose, clean shaven face, kind eyes, he smiles soft at you.

Marcus.

The agent that walked in is Marcus.

You try not to stare, but it’s hard. Dressed in an official suit and tie, the badge he wears, he sits across for you a striking professional handsome agent.

The woman introduces herself as one of the head local detectives of the case and the man accompanying her is from the FBI, specifically the head of the art crimes division.

Marcus wasn’t just an agent but someone that important.

You can’t deny how extra attractive it makes him.

“Agent Marcus Pike.” Polite and sweet he outstretches his arm to shake your hand like you’ve never met him before.

The questions are very basic.

Where were you the last time you saw the statue? Do you remember any recent guest that stopped by that maybe seemed suspicious?

You answer as truthfully and as best as you can, while also hiding the ancient Roman sized man truth away.

“Funny enough,” Agent Pike comments. “It does seem like this statue just seems to have…I don’t know, grown legs and walked out itself.”

You weakly laugh at his joke. You don’t miss the tug of his lips trying not to grin.

You leave the room as if you stepped out of a strange pocket dimension. Then again these past few days have felt strange and disorienting.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were the head of some FBI art division?!” You let Marcus have it when you both return back to his apartment.

“Is that dangerous?” Acacius asks curiously.

“I don’t know.” You sigh.

“No…This is good.” Marcus clarifies. He even picked up apology pastries. General Acacius greedily snags a cheese danish and moans in pure delight once he takes a bite.

It’s hard to ignore how incredibly sexy he sounded.

“It means I can keep looking in my records for any previous instances of situations like this, or if there’s any leads on the case I’ll know.” Marcus patiently explains.

That calms you enough.

Days pass, and Acacius grows restless.

He doesn’t sleep well, snapping at you and Marcus often more. He mourns the loss of a world that’s passed, of a wife he lost. The grief comes in waves. You and Marcus try comforting him, but Acacius reminds you of a caged tiger, restless and fanged. You understand. Being cooped up in a strange home in a strange world must be exhausting.

So Marcus and you agree to have a nice weekend out with him.

General Acacius fidgets in the cozy cream knit sweater that stretches over his broad body, but damn does he look incredible. So does Marcus in his scholarly sleek coat.

This trip also works as another opportunity to do more investigating. The nearby bookstore is the first stop. Acacius gasps seeing the stretch of books.

“Pretty impressive, yeah?” Marcus smirks, and you grin agreeing. He decides to take a look at the art history books here for any information he might have missed.

You unfortunately get side tracked with the many books in front of you and slightly wander away from Acacius when one catches your eyes.

But you quickly find your way back to him.

The elder Marcus stands stunned like a ghost among the classical literature holding a thick encyclopedia.

“I knew of what happened to Rome after you and Pike told me. But seeing the grand colosseum like this… it’s a specter of ruins now.” He mutters while taking in the photo of the ancient landmark.

“I am glad. There should be no need for more death matches.” His voice weighs with the heaviness of centuries past.

You agree, happy he shuts the book and returns it back. You’re about to dive into the Ancient Rome section yourself now until he speaks again.

“What if I am not the same man these books speak of?” The older Marcus questions hollowed.

That stuns you.

“What if the man who died many years ago… is not me?” His voice wavers.

Existential dread looms off him a dark storm growing stronger.

Marcus turns the corner smiling bright. But quickly he immediately notices the shift in atmosphere, and his face falls as he mouths asking what’s wrong.

You let General Acacius speak from the heart.

“What if… I am not me? What if I am not the real Marcus Acacius?”

His face is weighted with fear, raw and open making him appear lost and so small for someone powerful as him.

“I believe it’s you.” You reassure him gentle. “I’m sure Marcus does too. Besides… who says you can’t be the same man?”

There are pieces of yourself that you’ve left with people, even some bits of you have gotten snagged in certain places or tied to certain objects. Who says a piece of Marcus Acacius truly resided in the statue and simply woke up. And if that’s the case, then that means he’s as real as ever.

You explain all of this best as you can to Acacius. Those deep steady eyes of his waver transforming into molten earth. Your hand moves down to squeeze his stronger large warm hand.

He squeezes back tight.

“Besides the man that died is still you too. You’re allowed to be both.” Marcus jumps in with the most tender voice

“That does not sound true.” Acacius mutters.

As modern has he’s slowly become, you think it still might be too hard to explain dimensional or reality theory.

“This philosopher I read about once said something along the lines of, if you think, therefore you are.” Marcus clarifies. “You exist here and now. And sometimes that’s all that matters.”

You realize both you and Marcus slowly have huddled around General Acacius. You on one side and Marcus on the other, barricade to support your General as much as you or Marcus can.

Acacius sighs, watery, taking it all in.

Your heart aches for him. It overwhelms you, causing you to gently rest your head against his shoulder and letting your hand rest on his back.

Marcus also moves closer, placing his hand right besides yours, gingerly touching your hand.

Among the books you and these two rest simply in the stillness of the moment. You feel something hook deep in your chest, a feeling you can’t fully express.

After, Marcus treats everyone to his favorite taco truck. It's infectious seeing Acacius’s spirits brighten again. He again moans delicious when he takes his first bite. You don’t miss the awkward cough Marcus makes.

But the tacos are amazing and the cooler weather covers everything in a comforting dreamy cloud.

“I want to explore this world as much as I can.” Acacius declares with resolution and shining gilded hope.

So you start bringing the Roman general out with you more.

The museum is still being investigated, so you take the chance to enjoy the days, especially now with Marcus Acacius by your side. He enjoys your smaller apartment, becomes a fan of cooking shows fast.

Marcus and you discovered he isn’t big on sushi but has a notorious sweet tooth. Acacius embraces everything now with more gusto, a vibrant curiosity about many things, especially food. It’s endearing.

General Acacius also proves to be a lovely companion when you go grocery shopping.

“So many spices.” He says in awe in the aisle.

More people arrive and you try maneuvering your cart through the traffic. General Acacius catches on quick. Staying close to you, he places a comforting hand at your lower back and the other against yours in the cart. Shifting his body against yours, he’s a protective shield until you’re out of the thicket.

It sends the wildest hum of sparks throughout your body that persistently stays. Acacius stays firmly beside the rest of the trip.

For a man out of time, he’s open for conversation. The check out worker seems to blatantly ignore you while she happily and very openly flirts with him.

You don’t say much, ignoring the possessive emerald eyed sense of jealousy threatening to rise. He bids the flirty cashier a good day along with an elegant head nod. You keep quiet heading back to the car.

“That woman, she gave me a strange note with numbers on it.” General Acacius comments cautious, almost worried about what they could be.

You almost trip on the way out.

“Her number, she gave you her phone number.” You explain simply.

Of course you have to elaborate what that means and how it’s a modern way of signaling someone is attracted to you.

“Truly?” His handsome aged face scrunches up confused.

“What can I say? In any year you’re a catch.” You try not to sound wistful.

“I’m an old man not from this time. I have nothing worth for anyone to desire me.” Now he sounds dejected, somber and serious.

“Okay, besides being absolutely one of the most gorgeous men ever, you’re kind. Incredibly loyal and brave. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” Earnesty floats off you.

His face drops, your words finally settling within him. The soft streams of grays in his luscious curled hair and rustic beard, the beautiful scars he wears that tell of his victories…

The statue truly was not able to capture the magnetic pull of this man.

Acacius’s eyes flicker across your face. You swear something shimmers in his deep earth eyes. His gaze flickers down for a split moment, as if he’s glancing at your lips.

Then your phone rings with a text, and you sigh.

This precious bubble you’ve been in, this newly woven existence with these two gorgeous men, is one you want to stay in forever. It’s warm, easy, and feels too nice to leave.

But work eventually crashes in.

The museum finally reopens but with the Roman exhibit closed still. The missing art has brought in more foot traffic to the museum. But what surprises you is seeing Marcus at work now while he works. You and him share sweet secret smiles to each other.

Even with work getting busy for you and him, you’ve been texting with Marcus frequently. It’s even been amusing being on the phone with him and Acacius cries out surprised hearing your voice.

Your mind drifts to them again as you daze off a bit at work.

“So, did you ever drink that tea I gave you?” Your favorite coworker asks, interrupting your daydream.

The confusion must be evident on your face.

“Ya know… the sweet love wish tea?” She grins like a pleased cat that’s about to catch a canary.

An abrupt realization barrels right into you, a fierce horned bull almost knocking you out at the knees. You can’t believe a possible magical tea maybe brought a statue to life. But with that statue now a very real ancient Roman man you’ve been harboring - anything is possible now.

“Can you tell me where the shop is that you got it?” You rapidly ask her.

Your next day off you head down there immediately, not even taking either of your Marcus boys.

The sweetest shop owner greets you warm and welcoming. You compliment her lovely silvery lavender hair.

“Oh it’s to hide the grays.” She winks, and you grin.

But the nervousness rises because you don’t even know how to approach the question you have.

“Something seems to be bothering you.” Of course she notices but speaks with a gentle tone.

Your heavy sigh must say it all. Very sweetly she pulls out a stool by the register and settles in waiting to hear your story.

Even with her welcoming smile, the hesitation pulls at you. But you manage to gently explain what happened without revealing the dizzying truth.

“So I drank the love wish tea. And something… someone I never imagined would come into my life did. So now I don’t know if there’s a way I could probably send him back to what, to where, he was.” You tell her.

The shop owner hums in deep thought, crossing her hands over her chest nodding.

“Is it a ghost? Did you call in a spirit? Are you in love with a ghost?” She asks flat out without hesitation, and you almost laugh.

She’s half right in a way.

“I’m thinking…possibly the one thing that came to mind that I would do first is to do an unbinding spell. Whatever is keeping this man here, the separation of that would be what sends him back.” She says jumping off her chair, waving at you to follow her through the shop.

You quickly scurry behind her.

Grabbing a pack of two candles, the ritual she describes is simple enough. Tying a string around the two candles, lighting them until they burn, which in the process would burn the thread, theoretically severing the tie of Acacius to this world.

“And you said it was the love wish tea you drank, yes?”

You nod, and she nods back in understanding.

“What that tea is meant to do is call in your heart’s desires, simply allow the universe to bring whatever magic it seems fit to your life…But it also isn’t doing it forcefully.” She explains.

The tea is known to work because it calls in someone who desires the same thing you do, almost like a little nudge in the matchmaking department, a magic magnet.

“It works because someone else is also receptive. But of course, there is no need to stay with whoever is brought to you.”

Her words sink into a deep corner of your heart. You wonder if that meant Marcus Acacius longed for a better future, and it’s why the tea worked on him.

Thanking her graciously, you take the candles and a few cute stickers she has by the counter.

“I hope everything works out for you, gorgeous.” Her warm smile becomes a comforting hug.

You hope so too.

But the way your stomach twists, a part of you realizes… what if you don’t want Marcus Acacius to leave?

It’s selfish - but you want this trio of you, him and Marcus Pike, to last as long as it possibly can.

Driving to Marcus’s apartment, guilt and selfishness fight each other tooth and nail. You don’t know if this unbinding spell would work, but it would be a start.

With the spare key Marcus gave you, you let yourself in.

There on the couch you catch the quickest glimpse of both men heavily making out with the elder Marcus greedily holding onto Agent Pike’s sharp jaw. You wonder if maybe you’re seeing things, but the image knocks you breathless.

The younger and modern Marcus, who halfway was on the elder General’s lap immediately, bolts away as if electrocuted.

On the table, you spot two glasses of wine.

They both stare at you, caught red handed. Immediately though, you scramble out apologies.

“I should have called and-”

Marcus says your name. “It’s.. it’s okay.”

You feel so foolish right now. You didn’t even think that they had a thing, and that you were possibly the third wheel.

“I can leave. I totally understand.” You really do.

“No.” Acacius orders, saying your name, firmly shaking his head as he rises. His eyes rusted steel swords that pin you to where you stand.

“This started because of you.” He adds.

Wait.

Because of you?

“Wait, are you guys drunk?” You even voice your confusion.

Both Marcus men shake their heads no.

“We were just talking about you, about us.” The younger Marcus explains.

“And it took us some time but we both desire each other. And we both desire you.” General Acacius simply interjects, and Marcus coughs stunned.

You wonder if you’re the one who’s been brought to life in another time.

“Honey, please don’t feel pressured if you don’t feel the same.” Marcus, wonderful Marcus Pike, ever understanding and eternally good.

“I’ve liked you for so long. Even tried to ask you out a couple of times, just got a bit of cold feet. It just unfortunately took an ancient Roman to get me to finally say something.” He laughs weakly, boyishly nervous.

He’s liked you all this time.

You don’t say anything, don’t think there’s any words you can say just yet. Simply the emotions overtake you.

You head first to the younger Marcus and kiss him with a fierce tug at his shirt. He happily pulls you into him and sighs into your lips.

A soft but large hand runs up your back, and the sensation makes your body bloom.

“You both are so beautiful.” The older Marcus mutters dripping with adoration.

With a squeeze to Marcus’s shoulder and one final soft kiss, you pull away then melt into the general’s waiting arms. His mustache tickles you as his lips kiss yours, but it’s divine.

Their hands all over you touch every inch they can. You’ve never felt this desired, never been the epicenter of affection and passion like this before. You just as eagerly try grabbing at either man with as much clawed possession as you can.

They’re both yours now after all.

Tumbling into the bedroom it’s like something out of a dream, blissful and deliciously decadent, but so real with how heated your body feels.

Both men start kissing your exposed skin, with one licking at your neck from behind and the other readily nipping at your exposed chest. Your mind melts in bliss.

“Marcus,” you sigh.

You’re rewarded with two beautiful groans, different in tones it becomes a symphony you want to hear forever.

In the blurry of haze, the sticky syrupy desire, you and the younger Marcus follow each other peppering multiple kisses on Acacius’s chest as he falls onto the bed.

You and the modern Marcus work together, conquering the beautiful golden exposed landscape of Marcus Acacius’s chest. You tenderly press your lips against the various scars then happily move to kiss the younger Marcus.

The delicious sighs from General Acacius fill the room, a hypnotic soundtrack.

Soon your lips start traveling further down across his body. Your fellow lover follows your trail, kissing and kicking every inch of Acacius. You and Marcus reach his cock twitching in the loose sweatpants Acacius has grown fond of.

“Fuck.” Marcus groans as he drags the older man’s cock out.

Fuck is right. Thick, girthy and dripping already, you already ache to have him inside in any way.

“Both of you are little fiends.” The elder Marcus croaks breathless. Confidence surges in you as you lick across his length, relishing in the taste of his skin.

Marcus’s tongue also licks with you along your other lover’s cock, even moving across your tongue. The louder groans coming from General Acacius only spur you and Marcus on.

Greedily your eyes flicker up towards the towering force of a warrior. The beautiful older man’s eyes blown black, desired drenched galaxies looking down at you and Marcus like prizes he wants to conquer himself.

It makes you dizzy, completely possessed, and you kiss your way down to one of his thick large heavy balls. You tentatively lick. Acacius initially hisses until his voice melts into the loudest primal groan when you start sucking.

Your sweet Marcus immediately follows your lead, dragging his mouth down as well. You and him simply devour Acacius, licking back and forth across your lover’s balls and each other’s mouths.

Marcus quickly starts stroking your lover’s thick cock. It’s heaven being among these two, allowing yourself to get lost in the golden ecstasy.

When Acacius reaches his release you greedily lick up his cum that spilled against his skin, and he groans. Once you sit up, you reach for Marcus’s cum covered hand and begin to lick and suck his fingers clean. It’s then your sweet Marcus that suddenly grabs your mouth with the same hand, pulling your face towards his.

“Don’t swallow baby, I wanna taste.” He mutters with blazed out eyes.

Hearing that you almost come on the spot.

You sit up and slowly allow your spit and the milky cum into Marcus’s waiting mouth.

“Gods above.” The elder Marcus moans carnal.

The rest of the night consumes you in a wanton haze.

Sweaty, exhausted, but floating on a cloud, you sink into the bed with two men barricading you in their arms.

“I’m surprised you were…open to this.” You say to Acacius who chuckles a bit.

“I have loved others before, some included men. One was even a fellow General who died tragically among the same coliseum walls as I once did.” He explains gently.

You kiss his chest softly in understanding.

As you and these two lie curled into one another on Marcus’s lush bed, it’s like a new door has opened.

You and Marcus eagerly ask your General about his days in ancient Rome and his travels across the old world, about the true story of how he got his scar. Ever the steady man, Acacius answers all questions he can.

In the middle of this warm incredible double Marcus sandwich makes you giddy. But Acacius’s deep comforting lull of a voice, Marcus’s soft hands stroking your skin, create a cocoon drawing you to sleep faster than you realize.

A soft kiss comes to the top of your head.

“Rest. We will be here when you wake.”

Nodding through a yawn, you happily kiss them both goodnight. But just before you fall into the depths of sleep, you catch the two talking.

“What… will happen if I do not return to stone?” Acacius speaks first, so low and cautious you wonder if you’re dreaming already.

“I… I guess the statue will remain incomplete, stolen.” Marcus answers truthful but gentle.

A moment passes.

“What if I do not wish to return to stone?” Acacius clarifies.

You hear Marcus inhale sharp.

“I’ve longed for peaceful days away from the brutality of the frontline. And now… it’s here.”

A thick hope shines through the older Marcus’s voice, slipping past your ribs to piece your heart.

Movement shifts the bed, arms reach across for each other and seem to cage around you more.

“You’ll always have the final say. You get to make that choice. Neither of us would ever want to force you or take that away from you.” Marcus’s molten words are coated in pure understanding.

“I wish to stay here… with you and her.” Confidence, solidified resolution, radiate from the General’s voice.

The bed shifts again, and you hear them exchange the softest kiss.

“We’ll have to make sure to tell her in the morning.” The modern Marcus sighs dreamily. His hands again start rubbing your arm soothing, as if he can sense you’re fighting sleep.

“Of course. We must never forget our lady.” The older Marcus agrees.

His words along with a soft kiss to your forehead become the final push that allows sleep to settle.

— °˖➴ —

“So you’re telling me mister head of the art crimes department will be okay with a statue staying stolen and missing forever?” You smirk amused while Marcus drives down the familiar roads.

“Hey it’s no Vemeer’s Concert, but I’ll live with it.” Marcus playfully smirks and shrugs.

The investigation on General Acacius’s missing statue had run cold. There was no indication of a break in or forced exit. From the surveillance tapes, the video recordings simply shimmer, distorted for one moment, and then the statue is gone. As if it vanished into thin air.

Or is simply currently sitting in the back seat of the car taking in the world and power of a motor vehicle.

“You hear that, General? Our boy said you’re not valuable.” You tease.

“I don’t mind and I can agree.” Acacius replies bored, making you laugh. The green sweater he wears compliments him and brings out the streams of grays in his hair. You and Marcus have loved seeing him embrace modern clothing more than ever.

“That’s not what I meant.” Marcus rolls his eyes.

You snicker even more.

The occult shop arrives, and the candles feel lighter than ever in your bag, especially knowing you’re here to return them.

“Seems like you didn’t need these after all.” Your favorite lavender haired shop owner says with a coy smirk. Her eyes stay locked on your men exploring the aisles.

“A two for one deal? I'm definitely advertising that for the tea.” She adds eagerly, and you hide a laugh behind your hand.

If only you could tell her the full truth.

You return to your boys, enjoying the way Acacius seems to be a bit petrified among all of the occult objects.

“Are you sure this witchcraft is safe?” He asks worried, snd Marcus smooths by rubbing his back.

You grin.

Love, affection, might be the strangest but most beautiful magic after all.

[moralesluvr]

Hey! So this is like a goofy requested like idek. So basically I've been watching coming home videos of people in the army and don't even ask why lmao but everytime they make my heart burst! 😭

It gave me the idea of a billie x reader fanfic. The reader is in the army and has been away for a few months now. We told billie we aren't going to be home as soon as we thought, and of course billie is really upset, but what she doesn't know is that actually we are coming home early to surprise her! Her family is in on it and helps us surprise her, and she gives us the most adorable reaction possible.

Sorry if this sounds stupid. In my head, this sounds alot lot better, I promise 😭

anon i love this idea, thank you for your request !!

SWEET RETURN | b. eilish.

you could hear the laced disappointment in billie’s voice through the phone, even though she was trying her best to mask it. the sound of her pouting made your heart shatter, though she had no idea what was coming to her, for the better.

“so… not until next month?” she asked you, her tone light, but you knew her well enough to catch the sadness hiding behind her words.

“yeah,” you replied, swallowing the lump in your throat, “things got delayed here. they need me to stay a little longer. i’m so sorry, babe. i wish i could come home earlier.”

there was silence on the other end for a moment, followed by a quiet sigh. you hear her shuffle within the covers of your bed, “it’s okay. i get it. i just… i really miss you, y’know? the house feels so empty without you. i miss my wife.”

“i know,” you said, your chest tightening at her words. you had missed her so damn badly— and your excitement to see her again was almost too much to contain. “i miss you too, so much. but i promise, as soon as i’m back, we’ll make up for all this time apart, okay?”

billie let out a small, shaky laugh. you can hear her sniffles, “okay, my love. m’getting a little sleepy, so i’ll talk to you later.”

“okay,” you said, grinning widely, even though she couldn’t see you. “only a little longer, okay? then i’ll get to see my beautiful wife.”

you can practically hear her smile through her voice, “m’kay. i know you’ve got shit to do, so i can’t be too upset. but i love you, okay? have a good night.”

“i love you too,” you said, your voice soft, honey dripping from your tone, “more than anything.”

you hang up the phone, almost unable to conceal your excitement. what billie didn’t know was that you were already on your way home, ready to see her and attack her with hugs and kisses, ready to see her surprised expression when she sees you.

────୨ৎ────

two days post phone call, you were standing in billie’s parents’ cozy living room, your heart racing as maggie smoothed over your uniform, while patrick and finneas helped finalize the plan.

“she’s going to flip!” maggie spoke softly yet excitedly, a delighted smile spreading across her face, “she’s been so down lately, my lovebug. this will make her year.”

her dad nodded in agreement. “you’ve got the flowers, right hun?”

“got them,” you said, holding up the bouquet of billie’s favorite flowers, thanks to very detailed and focused bouquet shopping with finneas. you bounced on your heels excitedly, so ready to see billie— it had been so long, and all you wanted to do was see her pretty face and wrap her in a warm embrace.

“good!” patrick replied, clapping a hand on your shoulder lightly with a smile. though he was usually more stoic, even he couldn’t keep himself together at the thought of his daughter being overflowed with joy at this surprise.

you let out a nervous laugh, adjusting your uniform for what felt like the hundredth time with a nod. you waited on the couch patiently as maggie poured you a glass of cider, you two chattering amongst yourselves as patrick and finneas watched tv.

billie thought she was coming over for a quiet and peaceful family dinner. her mom had told her it was a way to cheer her up while you were “still stuck overseas.”

she had come over about an hour after you did, and you could hear her engine being killed in the driveway, making your nerves pulse through your skin as you waited anxiously, flowers in hand.

she pushed open the door, calling out a distracted, “hello, my loves!”

maggie greeted her at the door, pulling her into a quick hug. “hey, sweetheart! come on in!— oh, and dinner’s almost ready, but we’ve got a little surprise for you first.”

billie raised an eyebrow, glancing toward the dining room. “a surprise?”

“just come see, lovebug.” maggie spoke, leading her further into the house.

you stood in the living room, hidden just around the corner. your heart pounded as you heard her voice, the sound like music to your ears after so many months apart. you wanted to jump out and hug her, but you had to keep your composure as you stayed hidden.

“okay… guys…what’s going on?” billie asked, her voice light but curious. she sounded almost a little frustrated that she couldn’t figure it out, but her eyes immediately widened as you stepped out into view, holding the bouquet in your hands and a nervous smile on your face, “hi, baby.”

billie froze, her eyes locking on you as her jaw lowered. for a moment, she didn’t move, and it looked like she wasn’t even breathing for a second.

then, all at once, she dropped everything she was holding and ran toward you.

“oh my god, oh my god!” she cried, her voice breaking as she threw her arms around your neck. “you’re here! you’re really here!”

you wrapped your arms around her, holding her as tightly as you could without crushing the flowers between you. you wrapped a loving back behind her frame, “i’m here,” you whispered, your own voice shaking. you felt tears well in the underskirts of your eyes, “i couldn’t wait any longer to see you. i think i would’ve died.”

billie pulled away from your embrace just enough to look at you, tears streaming down her face but a wide, disbelieving smile lighting up her features.

“hey… you lied to me.” her lips formed into a pout, her eyes blinking away tears as she pulled you in for a quick kiss, her lips tasting of salt and strawberry.

“i’m sorry bils, but i had to,” you said with a small laugh, shrugging your shoulders defensively, “it wouldn’t have been a surprise otherwise.”

“it’s okay, i’ll let this little one slide,” billie chucked, shaking her head as she wiped at her tears with the sleeve of her hoodie, “my god, i missed you so much.”

“i missed you more.” you whined, pulling her closer and leaning down to kiss her forehead.

maggie, patrick, and finneas clapped and cheered from the doorway, and billie turned to glare at them, a confused expression wiped on her face, “wait— what the fuck? you guys were in on this?”

“of course we were,” finneas grinned, beaming. “i was the first person that she told— you jealous?”

“shut up.” billie rolled her eyes, but she smiled as she turned back to you, “you’re not leaving again anytime soon, are you?”

“not for a while, baby,” you promised, tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “i’m staying right here with you. promise.”

billie sighed, leaning her forehead against yours. “good. because i don’t think i can do that again. ever. i love you too much.”

you laugh sweetly, pulling billie closer,

“i love you so much more.”

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[argisthebulwark]

babe. serious question. whats bryns favourite colour? and while we‘re at it: same question for cicero, farkas and vilkas. cause i have thoughts, if you wanna hear them

what the fuck why did this save to drafts instead of posting lmao. sorry for the apparently late response, this truly is a Website <3 yes please tell me all of your thoughts my beloved!!!! <3<3<3

I think if you asked Brynjolf his favorite color he'd try to laugh it off. He'd smirk and lean over the desk, one finger curling under your chin to ensure he's the sole thing you're focused on. "The color of your eyes, of course." He'd chuckle, voice velvety and smooth. If you swatted at his hand and insisted for an honest answer, he'd heave a dramatic sigh before making a show of contemplating it. "Honest truth?" His head would tilt, sending a strand of red hair over his cheek. "It's got to be gold, love. Preferably snagged from some lordling's pocket."

"Blood." Cicero would grin if you asked him, eyes narrowing in on yours. "Deep and dark when it spills, or the pretty pink in my Listener's cheeks!" One gloved hand would pinch at your face, his voice shrill and gleeful. "Why do you ask Cicero such a question? Are you scheming to get poor Cicero a new outfit? Oh Listener, you're too sweet to your Keeper! Always so thoughtful, you are." He'd probably rattle off a few more poetic examples of how pretty red can be, though he'd sneer at the garish shade adopted by the Imperial Army.

Farkas would contemplate it for quite a while, eyes cast far out over the plains surrounding his home. Tilting his head closer to yours and flashing a hint of that dazzling smile, he'd finally answer. "Green." His voice would be hushed, as if he didn't dare to disturb the nature sprawling out at your feet. "Dark, like those trees." Following his finger, you'd see the expanse of coniferous trees covering the hillside. With fallen needles pooling around their trunks the shades melted together into one soft mix of green, one that felt welcoming and safe. If you pressed him for a reason, his smile would soften before he spoke again. "No matter how far away I get, once I see that color I know I'm almost home."

"I don't have one." Vilkas would grumble without turning to face you. His muscles would keep flexing, sword continuing over the grindstone. His brows would tighten, muscles in his jaw feathering as he tried to work through why you'd ask him such a silly thing. Unfortunately for him, he's all bark and no bite. It would be fairly easy to pick up on his preference - the way he drifted toward deep indigo dyes when repairing his armor, the various shades of blue bedding he'd collected over the years, even the faded navy socks you frequently caught him wearing around Jorrvaskr. You would probably have to point out that he does, in fact, have a favorite color.

[desires-of-chain]

Hey-- still taking requests?

If so, can you do separate scenarios where their crush does something to accidentally turn them on? And they have to hold themselves back from doing something or showing it but they're struggling?

For Warrior, Hyrule, and Time?

Feel free to alter anything or ignore lmao

🧚🏼‍♀️thanks!!

Oh-ho, say less 😏 GN Reader (No Specifics) Characters: Warriors, Hyrule, Time Content:

Warriors

'For goddess sake,' he groans internally, slapping a hand harshly against his cheek. Warriors berated himself endlessly in his head that this was innocent; you were trying on clothes to wear to a wedding that he, plus you, were invited to, but you looked so good in those clothes it made him shift uncomfortably in his seat. Commonly, you don't always get dressed up, and he doesn't mind since you are both working officers of her Highness's army, and you are both busy with the workload that often you're not playing dress up when you need to do dirty work.

You looked gorgeous to him, turning side to side in front of the mirror, smoothing any wrinkle or part of the cloth that may have gotten bunched up. Jewelry that lay around your neck and graces your ears glinted in the light, accentuating your beauty more; he stared, smitten by the sight of you, but the urge to rip those clothes off and bend you over the vanity was too great.

To paint your skin with his marks, to lap at every part, leaving no area unlavished. Fucking you to where your voice would disappear, your eyes fluttering with sharp gasps and whimpers escaping your lips. Crooning into your ear how delicious you look, a thumb in your mouth, head tilted back with a glazed, love-struck stare into his own. Warriors silently huff away the thoughts, packing the idea in his mind for later, eyeing your backside before flickering back to your face.

"I rather those clothes be just for my eyes," he muttered.

"Hmm," you hummed, not looking away from the mirror, "what you say, dear?"

Warriors cleared his throat, shifting himself in his seat one last time with the subtly of him slightly gripping his cock.

"I said you look beautiful, love; can you turn around for me?"

Hyrule

How dare you look this cute, laying on top of him as the group settled down for the night. Hyrule gulped, subtly shifting to gain a better position for you and him. He stilled when you whined straight into his neck, snuggling deeper into a sensitive spot low on his neck that made him shiver and bite back a sharp gasp that threatened to leave him. The feeling of your breath brushing against his sun-kissed skin; this was not fair! You sleeping was completely innocent!

He silently prayed in his head for someone to listen and give him the strength to not lose control in front of the members in the group. Some were still wide awake, and the others were setting their bedrolls up for sleep. Hyrule eyes stared up at the stars that twinkled in the night sky, hoping that by counting that it'll displace the feeling burning deep within his groin and occupy his mind instead of the thought of you whining so loudly underneath him.

'1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...'

It works. 

For a while.

His mind wandered back to the thought of you whining, wiggling your hips in his hold while begging him to 'cum with me, baby!'

Chest revealed to the night with nipples sore and wet with his saliva coating them. Not even caring if the group was there right behind him as he thrust into your hole, hitting that sensitive spot perfectly with a loud 'squelch' that made your eyes roll into the back of your head.

Hyrule quietly whimpered into your hair,

"Not fair at all."

Time

Time knew you spoke a language that wasn't well-known or not native to either his or the boy's eras. He knew that you were not born into Hyrule or any of the regions that lay within Hyrule. Yet, the way you spoke in your mother language did some things to him. The rolling, the blending, and others you do when you talk made him flustered and squirmed quietly.

Calling him an affectionate name, but in your mother's tongue, caused him to mentally reboot right then and there. The feeling of heat slid from his shoulders to his stomach, boiling deep at the sight of your lovely smile and gentle eyes staring up at him. He swallows thickly,

"Say that again?"

"Cara Mia," you whispered into his ear, giggling at the sudden red flush that framed his ears.

"I didn't think that would get you all flustered," you leaned back with a smug look. Time clears his throat, his eyes avoid yours, thoughts wandering at the idea of you under him, nails scratching down his back, leaving red welts in their wake. The sharp gasps that left your pretty little lips when he thrusts wildly in you, groaning when you rolled your hips up into him. Breathlessly calling him all kinds of endearments into his ear before gently biting the lobe that made his hips stutter.

"I didn't think you were in a spicy mood, my dear," Time quietly laughs when you squeak.

[aubris-fox]

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ❤︎ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

꩜.ᐟAtlas' Headcanonsᯓᡣ𐭩

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

͝ ⏝𝅄︶ ͝ ⏝ ⊹ ⏝ ͝ ︶𝅄⏝ ͝

here's a bunch of random Horangi (Call Of Duty) headcanons because i keep coming up with them and need a place to throw them lol

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 🐯 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

when he's incredibly focused, he sticks his tongue out a little. it's usually hidden by his mask, though, so most don't know he does it.

^ he almost constantly has a little wet spot on his mask from doing that. it's not obvious or anything, he's not drooling all over it, but it's there lmao (this is a shared headcanon, and my pal kade came up with it)

definitely a cat person

Horangi had a very solitary nature until he joined the army. he still kind of does, but by the time he joined KorTac he'd been conditioned to be around others and it doesn't bother him as much

smokes, but pretty casually. heavy smoking is an addiction he left behind with gambling.

he likes the snow!! (though over the years, he finds himself preferring to just look at it. the cold irritates his scars)

he likes thrillers, and cooking shows.

^ watches Nailed It! at like four in the morning to laugh at them (this is projection)

mostly lets out amused huffs/snorts instead of 'properly' laughing. (basically a human version of tiger chuffing!! chuffing has been described as sounding like car exhaust, snorts, and/or huffs, and it's vaguely akin to purring. in general, it's the sound of a very happy kitty, but it's also used for greetings and courtship. just a funfact :3)

^ on the topic of noises; grunting in response to things, those quiet grumbles that almost sound like growls when he's frustrated, etc.. gotta have tiger-like vocalizations for mr. tiger man

he can see exceptionally well in the dark, and he has an almost scarily good sense of smell.

sharp teeth, big yawns, and even bigger smiles.

his hair's almost always silky smooth (maybe just slighty coarse, at some points, but never too dry or brittle). not even he understands how he manages it.

Horangi has hypogeusia. it's a taste disorder that causes reduced taste and can make it hard to differentiate certain flavors. it isn't severe in his case, and it mostly affects his ability to taste sweetness.

^ he prefers foods that have much stronger tastes, because its easier to, well, taste them. while his disorder mainly hinders tasting sweet things, foods in general can taste a bit bland to him if they arent powerful enough.

smells 'warm'. citrus, cedar, spices, ginger, etc. (burberry brit for men is the cologne im thinking of for him). also always smells like cigarette smoke. definitely not overwhelmingly though; it's there, but mostly covered by the aforementioned scents.

he's actually pretty good at baking, which is ironic because most of the time he can barely taste what he's making.

massive spicy food enjoyer. feast mode ACTIVATED, he will tear that shit up. better pray you get some before him because there will be none left after he's done.

his favorite color is pink!

it's scary how quiet he can be. he's stealthy, a complete master of the hunt. you'll turn around and he'll Literally Just Be There like "hey man."

cannot find a pair of matching socks literally ever. the divorce rate between them is astonishing.

he reads/has read the classics, for sure. from historical texts, to renowned novels. i think he especially enjoys the iliad. also massive stephen king fan probably.

he'd take a strongly steeped cup of tea over coffee any day (though frequently he caves and drinks the latter for caffeine purposes)

︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶

that's pretty much all i have rn, maybe i will add more in the future!! tysm for reading !! ♡ (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ❤︎ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

@idiotrxccoon

unfortunately tumblr site killed the formatting sighh. looks cute on the mobile app though so i will leave it i guess

[fruitgummies01]

Thoughts on Jimin's name on JK's stomach and these moments right here from the behind the scenes content?

https://x.com/myhomeisjkjm/status/1841186841187258434

https://x.com/My2SeaOtters/status/1840806210783830207

Interesssssssting.... I feel like I should wait until I receive my photobook and see it all for myself before I actually review any of it, but since you asked lol.

Sucks that there is zero context for that picture of Jimin's name being written in sunscreen on JK's chest. Seeing how there was a short scene (was it episode 5?) of Jimin and JK playing with the sunscreen on their faces, I will just go ahead and assume that the same thing was happening behind the scenes in that picture too. If Jimin wanted to claim his man, who could blame him lol. I find it way more fascinating that most of the armys that are so quick to post shirtless pictures of JK, somehow did not get around to posting the one with Jimin's name on his chest. 🤔

And speaking of Tae. Those two clips, specifically the one with Jimin explaining how Tae suddenly joined the trip says so much tbh. I think it was sweet that Jimin at first tried to smooth it over by saying he knew Tae was busy with his solo activities and him not extending an invitation was not done intentionally (although um, I kinda think they did it on purpose, but won't get into that). Jimin specifically mentions asking the other members to come saying they were welcome, which weird because Namjoon would've been the only other member not enlisted at the time, so maybe that's what he meant? IDK, but if we follow their timeline, Tae found out two days before by seeing it on the group schedule/calendar, Jimin spent the night before Jeju at JK's house, and then all three came on the trip. I wonder if Jimin broke the news to JK during their sleepover that Tae was joining them haha. Also interesting that Tae specifically mentions being hurt by Jimin and doesn't say anything about JK, who is just kinda sitting there quietly not saying anything. I could read more into that, but I won't. 😅

If I had to guess, I would say I don't think Tae knew what show he was signing up for lol, hence why he asked why Namjoon didn't also come during dinner. He probably only saw that they were filming a show in one of his favorite places, didn't ask any questions about what the show was since he just wanted to be included, and just insisted on coming by calling up Jimin and saying he didn't want to be left out. Reality probably hit him once he was there what the vibes were (a lot of him feeling like a third wheel), which would explain him being on his phone a lot and going to play golf. Tae was probably grateful for the time they all spent together and the memories, but was very much over it by the end, and in his words was just trying to get to the plane 😭. Which I wouldn't blame him, it would probably be very annoying to be around two people with so many inside jokes and who talk in memes constantly lmao.

Again this was way longer than I was actually planning on writing (sorry lol), but I can't wait until my copy of Are You Sure photobook comes in the mail!!!

[oatflatwhite]

tagged at least 5 times in the last line challenge lmao but this is the first time i actually have something to share oops. thanks for the tag @itstheheebiejeebies!! <3

“Alright, alright, tough crowd. Sheesh.” George looked around the room. He had that same smile spilling over his face and put a hand up to the edge of it, like he wanted to smooth it away. He turned in a full circle to face Carwood again and shrugged, a full-body motion. “So you gonna give me the tour, or what?” They wound up back in the kitchen, where Carwood’s ma was reading her gardening magazine. “George,” she said, folding it away and looking expectantly at the two of them until they each pulled out a chair. “I remember you now. You were the… radio man? Carwood said you’re a dab hand at impressions.” “Oh, I get by.” George leaned back, hands laced behind his head. He was careful to keep all four chair legs on the ground, Carwood noticed. “Army was great for that kind of thing; I so much as open my mouth round home and before you know it I’m taking one of Rita’s loafers to the head. My sister,” he explained. His hands dropped back to the table; George never could sit still. “The place is beautiful, Mrs Lipton. But what’s this about a leaky roof?”

postwar luzton my beloved............. my new beloved............ it will be a spring wedding <3 (it's currently spring <3)

tagging @hartigays @shadowquill17 @ww2yaoi @babe-heffron and @spaceshipkat <3

[saxandviolins77]

IIRC in your review of TF One you said it was a "good movie" but a lot of what you described made it sound focus-tested into oblivion and generic? And I know I thought the movie was pretty nonsensical and hypocritical and had many issues with how it handled the characters, so I'm really curious about in more detail what led to your ultimate take? I know you described how it was very focused and stuff but like, a movie that has a focus but is focused on something that doesn't make any sense isn't necessarily good, especially if the theme has problems. I'm curious since your review you named a lot of specifics and I feel like my opinion that it was a bad kids' movie seems really rare! -arceespinkgun

Hey! Thanks for the ask! I'll try to make my stance more clear on the TF: ONE topic.

Well, focused on telling a riveting story with the characters and universe it certainly was not.

Focused on making revenue? Definitely, but every movie is like that, I'm more interested in the hows.

You see, this movie was written backward. As in, they already knew where the characters needed to be and who they needed to turn into.

Why was Orion considered worthy of the Matrix? Because he needs to be.

Why did D-16 go from a meek rule-abiding guy to a violent "kill everyone tyrant" in the span of a day? Because he needs to be.

The "high-guard" stuff? Just a very weak excuse for them to shove the already-built Decepticon army into a fight scene.

It's a good movie for two reasons and neither of them really has to do with the story or characters as they appear!

It knows its audience: as in, the general audience of TF fans, the TF fans who go into the cinema expecting the tried and true story of "cherik but robots" will have a grand time! And will go to the cinema 26 times to make sure this movie has revenue (see Twitter, it's embarrassing). AND, it's also great franchise bait! Tell me, how many people have you seen that are new to the franchise BECAUSE of ROTB? Now, TF: ONE? I assume your answer will be a little different. It's a movie that dangles a carrot for the audience, if you already like the carrot, sweet! If you never tasted the carrot, you may enjoy it without thinking.

Focus-tested: great use of the word, I'm stealing it. I would say this movie is a calculated risk, but it isn't a risk at all. I appreciate the motives behind this movie a ton! Because it wasn't just something Hasbro green-lighted to ignite the Bayverse flame back, it's calculated and the time it was left in the oven means this is pure aligned sauce, and it works. This movie sexes so much with core concepts from the Aligned continuity that it was bound to never be its own thing, and even better! All the "new" concepts this movie has to offer are either animated movie jerking off (Comedic-relief character that adds nothing, Girlboss...) or smoothing out Aligned things that would not fly in deeper examination (Op and Megs are both miners, Sentinel, no "alternative mode racism").

It's a good movie, in comparison to what came before (that I felt the need to point out in my review). It's cohesive, unlike ROTB, AND more importantly, it's approachable (not only for newcomers but also for the fandom at large). It's an above-average kids' movie (which aside from a few surprising offers, has been on the slop side of things for YEARS now, ESPECIALLY when it comes to Blockbuster schmuck).

It's a good movie because it was calculated, the only factors that may intervene are Paramount's shitty distribution AND toy sales, but that doesn't change the fact that it is critically acclaimed already.

Now you might be asking:

Do I support this?

Who am I to support anything? Just a small account on a near-dead site. However, I cannot deny I find it quite ingenious of the Hasbro team (who has been wanting to amalgamize TF for YEARS) and the fandom reaction to it has been great to watch.

Does this kill artistic integrity?

LMAO YEAH! I don't thing anyone watching a big studio movie would be really surprised by that, better luck with animated series and/or comics. Tho, I sure the people working on this movie did put their hearts into it, it just happened to be a really strategic place to put it.

Wow, I wasn't expecting this.

Yeah, it is what it is. At the end of the day TF:ONE is a very great marketing scheme, I'd be more worried about it seeping into other things (beware of what's to come after the failure of the GI:JOE/TF movie and after they finish killing off ES).

I didn't really like it, but for reasons I already don't like Aligned. The forced godhood of Orion (which makes the Autobot/Decepticon conflict into a religious war!! Why?), the fact that D-16 is the fucking anti-christ that was dictated by THE ALREADY MENTIONED NARRATIVE into villainy (even though, he was in the right! Orion's only plan towards Sentinel was... 'the people will know'... Then...?), the High-guard was completely fodder for the main four (notice how I never mentioned them in my original review), and Arachnid... LOL MOMENT FOR THAT BLUNDER AMIRITE?!

But that ⬆️ was not the point of this movie's existence.

Sorry if this reads a little too hateful or cynical, I am genuinely neutral about this movie, but I just wanted to make my stance clear. My account is not made to dwell on or endorse parts of the franchise that I do not like, I prefer talking and uplifting what I enjoy... And maybe reblogging a hateful post every once a week.

[allyriadayne]

What do you think would have happend with Jace if he had survived the Dance?

oh this is fun, thanks for the question!

survived as in everything happens the same except jace survived the gullet? i won't get into mechanics of this happening because i'd involve too many moving parts and what ifs and blatant avoidance of certain parts. so whatever. let's say daemon and aemond kill each other, aegon kills rhaenyra and imprisons baela and baby aegon.

two things:

1) if jace is in dragonstone, let's say recuperating from his injuries, in reality i don't think aegon would kill him just like he didn't kill rhaenyra's heir at the moment. jace might be too injured to truly pose a threat or aegon's advisors would "protect" him like they did baela.

2) jace is not in dragonstone. he could be healthy or injured but he's not there when aegon takes the island for some reason. i've read fic where he's with the northern/riverlands army or makes his way to the capital alone after aegon's dead. in any case, he reaches the capital at some point.

when the greens are neutralized and all the heads turn to rhaenyra's children, it's probable that the support would be split between the older, seasoned prince of dubious birth and the young, unresponsive prince of clear ancestry. the things is while a regency happened in canon i don't think anybody wanted to do that. the issues lingering needed to be solved NOW, the armies needed to be disbanded NOW, alicent and jaehaera needed to be secured NOW. even if jace is physically injured or abed at this moment, i think he would get the clear support of the biggest faction aka the riverlands, the vale, and the north. on the other side, he's corlys' grandson, he was a dragonrider (let's assume the dragon still died sowwy), he's commanded armies, and if he married baela that moment, he could be having an heir by the next year. the succession and therefore the kingdom, is stable.

i'm not saying there wouldn't be people vying for baby aegon's ascension just to be against jace perceived bastardy now or down the line but it's more likely that he gets more support to get the crown and just end the war once and for all.

so jace takes the crown immediately. i don't think the hour of the wolf happens at all, most of the attributions cregan takes for himself came from intimidating baby aegon and probs by being the highest ranking lord in a place where everybody was burning incriminating papers from the last reign lmao. i think he would be a lot more aligned with corlys in sending peace terms first, but would not hesitate if the rest of the kingdom didn't fall in line. as for aegon ii's advisors, to me jace would try to get them out quietly. stay for a bit but sending them home as soon as he could. corlys betrayed the blacks, jace would probably marry baela as a reward for past services (and bc he loves her obviously etc) and dismiss him to driftmark. thanks to jace, corlys has his legitimate heir in alyn, he's more than okay.

for people like larys, the ironrod, orwyle and tyland....... they were aegon's closest advisors and while i don't think jace would imprison them or kill them i think he'd test them in some way to prove they can change their loyalty and move on. after a few months or years when the transition smooths out, i would bet jace will be dismissing them for lords who are 100% on his side. i'd say all would do it because at least in the show i don't see them supporting the greens out of personal reasons, not enough to die for the memory of aegon OR jaehaera's claim, you know? and in any case, it /is/ a man that is ruling now lmao lol. i still see jasper wylde pushing his daughter to baby aegon if jace is not available anymore, tho.

jace wouldn't kill alicent or jaehaera either. i think the death of so many people and most of all, his brothers, would affect him very much. at this point alicent is described as mad and jaehaera is a traumatized child. he wouldn't send them to oldtown or keep them together all the time but i don't think he would be cruel (as for jaehaera's future, well, that's another story). they are his family after all and most of the threats are neutralized (hello alys hiiii i'm such a fan).

i can speculate on jace's mental state and say that while he would not shut himself out like baby aegon did, he wouldn't be the same at all. his drive to be the best version of himself would still be there of course, this is what will make him push himself to take control of the situation. but at the same time, i don't think he will want to be as much as a people pleaser as he is in canon. people will be vying for his favor, for baby aegon's hand, for rhaena's but to me, he will make the family close into themselves. during the war he learned to take command of his people, he has the presence and the confidence to say no now, he also has the crown and the symbols. that's half the battle done.

[writingsofwesteros]

Jon actually being Ned's bastard, Lyanna still being the mother. He'd always felt his cock harden for his sister and they soon began a secret relationship where he would fuck her anywhere and wherever he wanted. Ned would suck his sister's tits and cum inside her pretty pussy as if he were her lord husband or betrothed himself. Everytime his friend Robert tried something with Lyanna, Ned would get angry, his jealousy and desperation to have her reaching a fever pitch when she's betrothed to him. He listens to Robert talk about all the ways he'll fuck Ned's sister, how he'll take Ned's place as the one that gives her creampies and will father an army of children on her.

Ned decides to get even by doing everything that Robert wants to do, but can't, with Lyanna. He's going to break her in and take her in every position so that he can always be her first in everything. Ned goes at her in doggystyle, cowgirl, wheelbarrow, side by side, pretzel dip, seashell, butter churner, good ex, spider, stand and deliver, reverse missionary, etc. He fills her with his spend every time and watches her body thrash around in pleasure, her lips sucking around his fingers to keep her quiet and prevent their brother or anyone else from finding out. Ned lets her take breaks to suck on his cock in various positions to get him ready to fill her again, sometimes playing with her pussy or eating her out as she did bobbed her head.

When Rhaegar took her away with him, she only left because she knew she was pregnant by Ned and didn't want to get him in trouble. She pretends to love Rhaegar back and passes him off as her child's father so he'll continue helping her out. Lyanna misses Ned dearly and hopes he'll understand why she did this or will at least be smart enough to know it's always been him she loved. As she suffers through birthing her precious baby, she is burdened by the wish that Ned could be there to help her and meet their baby.

Lyanna's son finally pops out of her, taking all her strength from her to finally push him the rest of the way out. She holds her son, noting how much he's taken after his father just being born before crying as she realizes she can't feel the bottom half of her body. The blood trickles down her legs as she sobs and prays to the Old Gods that at least her baby boy is saved, her Jon, a bastard born of the love between two siblings from house Stark.

By the time Ned makes it there, she is much too weak to do much besides feed her baby, soon only being able to hold him to her chest. Her eyes regain some of their life and her small smile becomes bright when Ned's horrified face comes into her view. Lyanna knows her prayers have been answered, for not only is her baby Jon saved, but it was by her dear brother. She calls for him, Ned kneeling next to her bed and trying to rub at her legs before realizing she can't feel it and beginning to sob.

Lyanna uses the rest of her strength to hold out their precious creation, passing him over to his father as she says "meet baby Jon... he's our son." Ned holds him in awe, hugging the baby close to him before raising to pull Lyanna into the hug with them. He smooths her hair back and kisses her softly before kneeling again, holding their son in his big hands, still just staring at him as if he's not real. Lyanna smiles, her body fading and feeling stiffer, skin loosing it's warmth at a rapid pace.

Her last sight before it all goes blurry is the love of her life, her brother Eddard "Ned" Stark, lovingly clutching their son, the proof that their love had survived. He had taken all her firsts, her reciprocating a few times, but the one she's most proud is taking from him the honor of being the first to fill his heart and the first to give him a child 👑💀 (i was going to make this just be sexy, but ig tragedy works too lmao)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ADORE THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!

You are amazing at such ideas !!

[marley-manson]

More on The Grim Reaper

-- I really liked the pointed contrast between Bloodworth's cold casualty stats and Hawkeye's hobby of knitting in the first couple scenes. I say pointed because the episode opens with Bloodworth dryly saying, "All right gentlemen, without interrupting your knitting," and after this scene Hawkeye jokes about stabbing Bloodworth with his knitting needles. So yk, attention is drawn.

I like it for the easy symbolism lol, knitting is constructive and represents surgery, and here Hawkeye is raveling a ball of wool to reuse, so yk, it's emblematic of Hawkeye repairing bodies that Bloodworth injures. And I also like it for the effeminacy in contrast to Bloodworth's military man vibe, which is not particularly made a point of in this episode, but when I sees it I likes it. Plus Hawkeye jokes about Bloodworth being "cute" if you take away [list of cold blooded evil things], so there.

-- It's a little weird that only BJ and Hawkeye are there to hear his schpiel, but I guess we can assume that Hawkeye's there in his capacity as head surgeon and BJ's there because Hawkeye's there, and Hawkeye needs a wool holder and joke exchanger.

-- I hate the fucking shove lol, I just do not buy it. I don't think it's in character, I don't think Alan Alda sold it, it just comes across as awkward. And it's not that I think the violence is ooc - if Hawkeye punched him I would've 100% believed that, if he'd thrown something at him I would've believed that, if he'd jumped him and started a whole fight, I would've believed that. What I don't believe is Hawkeye holding someone threateningly by the lapels and manhandling them lmao. Come the fuck on, that's just not adherent to the Hawkeye vibe.

-- I love Hawkeye's eagerness when the patient he talks to tells him he's from Toledo, he's so looking forward to telling Klinger so they can be friends <3

-- A big Potter sux episode for me lol, but to the episode's credit the narrative treats him a little like a buffoon. He blames Hawkeye and yells at him after the shove, but then when he talks to Bloodworth about it he tells him "Pierce shouldn't've pushed you, he should've decked you!" showing his own temper. Then at the end he takes credit for smoothing things over after Bloodworth's already agreed to drop the charges after getting injured and watching Hawkeye work. It's mild but it's nice when Potter is made fun of, even gently.

-- That said I still hate that Potter frames Hawkeye's shove as "This is the army, you don't push commanding officers around!" in what sounded like an offended way to me. Like, if it was Henry, he'd just be bemoaning the stress Hawkeye caused him, not defending the sanctity of chain of command.

[jmdbjk]

White Day, Pt. 2

For our second date of the evening, JK changed into a spiffy crisp white button down and proceeded to fluff and primp his hair for 3 minutes. He hasn’t forgotten all the hair styling tips. Look at him scrunching up the top for some extra fullness. You don’t spend ten years in the stylist’s chair and not learn a few tips about how to manipulate your hair.

Jimin showed up in the comments and JK went off the rails a little bit, trying to show off his wardrobe change and then tried using his smooth lines to make sure Jimin doesn’t wander off ...

Come on Jimin, isn’t it a little late to be playing hard-to-get? COME BACK! PAY ATTENTION!

A commenter said let’s date for 5 minutes and JK said, sure... then he tried to scroll back and find the name of the person so he’d know what to call them... and their name was John Kanya? Did the translator mean Jeon Kanya? HAHAHAHHAAH! Way to go Kanya! One step ahead!

He shared a song that he said Tae really likes and then he tried to search for a song request in the comments. He called Siri a punk because Siri couldn’t understand JK’s pronunciation of “old love.” Bless him...

Oh but when he found it, GOOD JOB whoever requested that song! So dreamy and romantic for our date night with JK! 

And yes, he had the music turned up loud and was yelling at us over the music JUST LIKE IF WE WERE ACTUALLY IN THE CLUB! I can see why he enjoys the interaction with us on Weverse live. It really is easy for him to connect with us and have real interactions in real time (as long as Army isn’t behaving like he’s 15 years old again.) 

The sweetest thing was he saved these songs to his library AND he practiced speaking English at the same time. Armys did good here. He was having fun.

He reads English very well, and I’m sure he understands 99% of what he hears. Its the pronunciation and conversational vocabulary parts that are tricky. 

And then he opened up to us a little bit...

I can see why he ditched Instagram. It’s too fake and impersonal.

Y’all, I started laughing out loud when the next song request came on and the vibe of it made him proclaim he should be drinking whiskey shots and not highballs HAHAHAHAHA! He is a blast. FYI, there are cocktails made with a mixture of whiskeys and they have names like 3 Wisemen (Jack Daniels, Johnnie Walker and Jim Beam) and Four Horsemen (Jim Beam, Jameson, Johnnie Walker, and Jack Daniels). Ugh. I am a whiskey sipper, not a whiskey shooter. And apparently, JK is also NOT a whiskey shooter either. So playful.

And philosophical JK rolled around and he told us he says again and again, he can’t be our #1 priority, that we should prioritize our own lives and whatever obligations we have going on. He said this while putting more of Bam’s eye drops in his eyes and over-dramatically acting like he was crying. 

For about the next twenty minutes he tried to get in the mood to sing and then he saw Namjoon in the comments and they had an adorable exchange which ended with JK singing a song that Namjoon suggested. 

I wonder if Joon had an ulterior motive behind asking JK to sing a variety of genres...you know our leader is always thinking... regardless, Kookie was having fun.

This goofball... said he was pacing himself as far as drinking because he had to really go to the bathroom. But we would have never known right? His reason: because he is such a pro. LMAO!

Oh! and then Namjoon came back in the comments and told JK to hurry up and release an album! THAT’S RIGHT JOONIE! LIGHT A FIRE UNDER JK’S ASS! And JK said he has a plan...well... from the mouth of the man who said he wasn’t a planner... oh then he elaborates that NOT having a plan is in itself a plan. STOP TRYING TO WORM YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS! 

He rambled on and on how he’s not lived with a plan up until now. Kookie-pookie, that’s because you’ve never had to manage your own time before. I think he was being vague in that he really doesn’t have a plan to release anything. He does not have that fire burning in his belly that Jimin, Hobi, Namjoon and Yoongi have. Each of those members have different fires burning. Jungkookie is living up to his free-spirit ways. He is very confident in himself and he has confidence that Army will always love him and he’ll stay on the path that shows him being himself. I said what I said. Or he may drop an album tomorrow. Who knows? We sure don’t. 

He really is the opposite of a Gen Z-er. Except for his use of social media. Which is null and void mostly. Typical Gen-Z in that aspect.

He closed our second date of White Day by confiding with us that he had to pee really really bad. 

[putridpackingtown]

……………Peter headcanons because I’m losing my mind

sharp ass teeth like uncomfortably sharp

WILL doxx you online/hj

Probably bisexual

Does not fuck around when it comes to grilling

his favorite holiday is Christmas awwww🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Sadomasochist

poor asf but like he lives in the middle of nowhere with his totally-not-boyfriend (obviously cameraman) so who cares

Really into polyamory

freaky relationship with Christianity

would bash my brains in with a hammer for writing this

I don’t care how smooth Fred Vogel is in the movies PETER IS A HAIRY ASS MAN

terrible relationship with his parents (which are dead)

obsessed with really long aimless drives

will wear a Hawaiian shirt while cutting your fingers off and will look fashionable doing so

NIPPLE RINGS!!!!!!!!!! (Crusty is obsessed with them) (Maggot called them gay one time so they fistfought)

fist victim was someone he hit with his car probably

probably owns a shitty pickup truck

nibbles to show affection (he’s never beating the dog man allegations)

HS dropout

was in the army but he left because they yelled at him and made him sad🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 (obv joking)

Has like 3 or 5 siblings, a total runt of the litter lmao

Shot to death in a parking lot by cops at night a month after crusty died

Was either buried in an unmarked grave (bc edgelords kept stealing his tombstone after all the news got out) or his ashes were left unclaimed in the morgue (since like any remaining family would probs hate him) and were spread somewhere

might add more idk

[flamingbluepanda]

Cam watches Shameless UK (so you don't have to)

Oh yeah it's happening. There's 11 seasons. 10 episodes each. Gonna tag them all with CWSUK so if you're not interested blacklist that.

I'm also gonna do some tldr stats because these are gonna get long every time I think and I doubt people will want to read all my ramblings.

Similarity to shameless US: 97%

Did we see Mickey in this episode? No

McAvoy count: 5

Who was the main Gallagher this episode? Fiona

Who was MY favorite character this episode? Liam

Frank speeches: 2

Anyway, ONWARD!

Season 1 Episode 1

They warn you so many times about the mature content on channel 4 lmao

They keep Carl bald so his hair doesnt stand on end. He looks like a demon sorry Carl.

I wouldn't trust this version of Ian with a single thing.

You need subtitles with this show. Need em.

I've heard that a lot of the plot is the same, but we're starting strong with Karen Jackson lmao

Oh Veronica is here!!! Can't wait to see her

MCAVOY x1

Vee is blonde. And white. Liam is also white. This is like a fascinating science experiment

I love this version of jimmy Steve more than American jimmy Steve

Okay I still don't trust this version of Ian but he has HUGE eyes

Awww no okay he's just a beby I trust him I take it back baby I'm sorry he's crying lip look what you did

MCAVOY x2

Carl STILL looks like a demon

No Kevin yet .....

THERES A LOT OF SIDEWAYS CAMERA ANGLES ITS WEIRD

There's Kev!! He has a gold chain and short hair.

Instead of the infamous fridge calender, they have a big ole pinboard.

Oh damn jimmy Steve is a smooth talker

I was gonna make a joke about all those graphic scene warnings being just for kissing but then they cut to the sezys

TONY MARKOVICH IS A BABEY

LIL BABEY LIAM IS REALLY CUTE and he told Jimmy Steve to go away as his first line. Im obsessed with him favorite character.

Lmao all her siblings watching jimmy Steve get in his car and judging

Hi Frank. You scare me more than William Macy does.

MCAVOY x3

I appreciate channel 4 using different subtitle colors for different characters talking. Makes it easy to track whos talking and I love it

There has been no k*sh so far and I am hoping and praying he never shows up

At least lip told Ian he was taking him to see Karen in this version.

rip Ian he looks so unhappy.

Everyone is so freckled in this show.

"HES GONNA KILL HIM!" *Music pauses, thump* "he's killed him 0-0" Karen sounds horrified

Okay I'm coming around to Ian and lip they're such dumbasses.

OKAY THERES KEVS DICK THEY NEVER SHOWED US STEVE HOWIES DICK HEJSJEKAJAKA

Other than his infamous opening speech Frank hasn't spoken yet

Apparently instead of clowns Eddie Jackson collects owls

MCAVOY x4

Ugh noooooo please no kash nooooooooooooooooooo please just let him be a dick don't make them fuck pleaseeeeee

Frank STiLL hasn't talked and it's creepy as shit

Nvm he talked

I miss joan cusack

Ugh nooooo dammit where's Mickey do I have to wait I'll episode 3 to see him

PUNCH HIM LIP PUNCH HIM KICK HIS ASS

At least Ian's not doing army shit ig

MCAVOY x5

Debbie has had a single line telling Liam to go to bed.

Okay seriously jimmy Steve needs to stop winning my heart when I know he's gonna be a turd again.

Nvm Debbies had two lines

MCAVOY x6

Three lines for Debbie!!

They show us a lil snippy of bloopers after the credits lmao.

[knowledge-paradox]

IHIHIHHH

okay so my main blue coat is my italo american boy Matteo

he's also a little reserved because he pretty much lacks a lot of social skills (well that's where his sister helps his ass mostly LMAO) he talks a lot when comfortable— he actually joined the war because his lover promised to come to America with him after

there's Marinella who's mainly a nurse and works in camp (she followed her big brother just in case he didn't kill himself)

and then there's Davide, Matteo's cousin who joins camp later on with some guy named Owen which I'll shortly tell u abt- Daniele is the most smooth talker out of the three this man has wild ass social skills and makes friends too fast HDJAHDJSJ

the red coats I have Luca(he's also Matteo and Daniele's cousin) who is a little bit of a dick —he doesn't believe women are equal to men but he does have a redemption arc— he has that rich talk smug ass tone and is pretty much hated for that 😞 although he's a very good fighter and also is a little sadistic like your guy William I fear

then there's Nicolas who is actually a spy- he's Daniele's half sibling and he's a pretty good actor so basically through all his rest at the redcoat camp he fakes his own 'character' basically he's always under the radar and no talker

then there's Owen who actually has been to both camps- he lived alone in the woods for a bunch of years because his father was arrested for poaching and he was lost- then found by the red coats and was a soldier until 1779 where he ran away and met Daniele who convinced him to join the continental army

AAAAAA IT'S ALWAYS A LOT I'M SORRY FOR YAPPING— I love my guys so much

hmmmm. i think my amrev ocs could use some friends. does anyone have any redcoats or bluecoat ocs that might want to be friends / acquaintances / somewhat rivals but not really with william or jean?