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motorsportbarbie13 · 2 days ago
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The Yapping Hour Is Upon Us - Part 4
In which you escape to paradise with the love of your life.
Warnings: nothing unless you hate happiness. Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 2.4k
- The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 2 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 3 - Master List
Phulay Bay, Thailand July, 2025
yourpersonalinsta posted
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456,938 likes liked by taylorswift, redbullracing, alexandrasaintmleux, and others. yourpersonalinsta out of office tagged: maxverstappen1 kikagomes omg where are yoooou? >>>yourpersonalinsta thailand! he planned literally everything. all i had to do was show up. user928 max is never beating best boyfie on the grid allegations now redbullracing bring us back a coconut! >>>yourpersonalinsta hahahaha think max can smuggle one out in his backpack??? >>>redbullracing if he tries hard enough, he can do anything!
"Max, where'd you go?" You call, voice echoing out over the empty terrace of the beach villa Max had booked for you two during F1's summer break.
Last year, the two of you had spent a few weeks on a boat off of the Amalfi coast with some of your friends but this year, it was just the two of you. This entire trip had been a complete surprise, Max having planned the entire thing. You had gotten a text one afternoon just a few days into the month long F1 break from Max telling you to pack a bag (heavy on the bikinis and lingerie, as personally requested by your boyfriend) and to be ready to leave the apartment in Monaco in an hour.
You had bustled about, a mix of excitement and anxiety twisting in your chest. To be quite honest, you had been looking forward to having some down time at home, just the two of you. It had only been a few months since you had permanently moved from New York to Monaco and you were far from settled, having spent most of the first half of the year traveling with Max.
The moment Max burst into your shared apartment though, all of your anxieties evaporated into thin air. He had never looked more relaxed than he had that morning, telling you he was taking you on a trip and to not ask any questions. You, of course, dutifully obeyed.
Which was how you found yourself at one of the most private and romantic beach resorts in Thailand, currently looking for your seemingly missing boyfriend. You'd been here for a few days now, soaking in the sand and sun and quiet peacefulness the resort had to offer. Mornings were spent slowly in bed, breakfast often skipped in favor of time spent underneath (or on top of) Max. Afternoons scuttled by slowly, spent under the sun on the beach in your bikini being oogled by Max. And nights were spent together, either in the media room of the villa watching movies or under the stars talking about anything and everything with the man that had completely stolen your heart.
It was in those quiet moments, while you sat snuggled up between Max's legs, back pressed firmly into his chest, on the beach where you were in awe of how much your life had changed in a little over a year. How quickly Max had swooped into you life, into your heart, and never left.
The villa is quiet and empty, you assume that Max has wandered down onto the beach or out near the private pool while you had taken a quick shower before your dinner reservations. Something on the bed catches your eye though and you cross the wooden planked floor to read the note that sits on top of a white linen dress.
My love, I know we had reservations at the resort's resturant tonight but I took the liberty of moving that to some place a little quieter. Put on the dress and meet me out on that little bluff where we always watch the sunset, dinner is waiting. all of the love my soul possesses, Max
Tears prick at your eyes when you finish the note. Laying on the bed is a white linen dress that you had no idea was even in the villa. It's brand new, you'd never even seen it before. The moment you pull it on over your head, you can't help but be impressed. It fits like a dream and when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you can't help but smile. The dress is cut perfectly to your figure, the neckline scooping down low to show off an extra bit of clevege and the hem hitting just below your knee. You're not quite sure how Max did it, but the dress fits you like a glove.
Your hair is still a bit damp, but you're eager to find where Max is and what he's up to tonight so you opt for a long braid down your back.
When you step out on the back veranda of the villa, the sun is hanging low in the sky, just above the sparkling blue water that stretches out in front of you. The resort sits on a little bluff overlooking the ocean, romantically tucked into the side of rolling green hills and a lush forest behind you.
Just beyond the edge of the villa's back yard is a little outcropping of land that juts over the beach below. Every night since you had arrived, Max had insisted on making a point to sit on this little private bluff and watch the sun go down. No matter what you were doing or what you had planned that evening, watching the sunset tucked deeply in Max's arms, became a tradition you wanted to continue forever.
The cool grass tickles your bare feet as you cross the lush green lawn. For a moment, you don't even look towards where you know Max is standing because you're so distracted by the crash of the ocean waves and glimmer of the sunset on the water. When you do look over though, you stop in your tracks, pupils blowing wide at the scene before you.
There, right on your little plot of paradise, stands your boyfriend. He's surrounded by what looks like hundreds and hundreds of white hydrangeas arranged in a large circle. Clusters of candles dot the edge of the circle casting a soft glow over the entire scene.
Max stands in the middle of all of this, his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his khaki shorts. He's wearing the navy linen shirt you bought him for his birthday last year, top few buttons undone at his throat. The breeze off the water tugs a bit at his hair, long from a busy season with little time to stop and get a haircut. The fact that you liked his hair longer also had a lot to do with him refusing to cut it lately, but he'd never admit that to anyone but you.
When Max sees you walk out of the villa for the firs time, he thinks he might just pass out right there. The dress Kika and Alexandra had helped him pick out was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen you wear, besides that navy and red lacy lingerie set you had worn for his birthday last year, of course. He had been planning this for months now, much to Daniel and Lando's surprise. His two friends were the only other people who knew what this entire trip was really about. They had expressed their surprise at the plans since you hadn't even celebrated your one year anniversary when he had set all of this in motion. Max had simply replied with 'when you know you know' and no one had questioned it again.
The red and gold ring box sits heavy in his pocket, his fingers tracing anxious patterns over it's smooth surface. He wasn't nervous about what he was going to do. No, what he was about to do was the most confident and self assured decisions he had ever made. What he was nervous about was you saying no. He wasn't sure if his heart would be able to take a rejection.
Your heart hammers in your chest as you approach Max. Unsure but confident about what's about to happen all at the same time. The conflicting emotions whirl around in your stomach in a hurricane of anxiety and shock.
"Hi baby." Max murmurs as soon as you step into the circle with him. His arms reach for you and to his great relief, you melt into him eagerly.
"Hi." Your voice nothing but breathy whisper. A smile that could power most of Europe shimmers across your face. "What's all this?"
"I know I said we were going to eat dinner out here, but I wanted to talk to you first." Max buries his head in your hair, inhaling the sweet and spicy scent of your shampoo, still lingering in your hair after your shower.
He takes a few moments and you are simply content to enjoy the feeling that settles over you. Outside of this little bluff, nothing else exists and you could stay here for the rest of your life and be completely content.
When Max pulls himself together, he pulls back a little so he can see you without craning his neck. "The moment you smiled at me the first time, my entire world shifted beneath my feet." His voice is rough, Dutch accent becoming more prominent the more emotional he gets. "The first time I kissed you in my drivers room in Miami, I knew I was done. I have never met a kinder, more ambitious, or more confident woman than you. Just being able to exist in your orbit has been the blessing I never knew I needed. I know it hasn't been long but I can't figure out how I ever managed to exist before you and I never want to find out what it feels like to exist after you."
Max pauses then, drawing in a shaky breath. Blood rushes past your ears as your knees threaten to buckle. You had hoped this day would come for you and Max but you had never expected it to be so quickly. Like Max, you had known pretty fast that he was it for you. You had tried to fight the growing feeling that your relationship could work its way into marriage but as you continued to settle further into life with him, you fought the feeling less and less.
He sinks to his knee then and looks up at you, those ice blue eyes that you dream about shining up at you. "I want to see you walk down the aisle towards me in a white dress. I want to see your belly grow when you carry our babies. I want to hear my children call you their mama and I want your babies to call me daddy. I want all of this and an entire lifetime of love with you and only you. Will you give me that, baby? Will you marry me?"
For a moment you're completely unable to breathe. The words Max said to you etched themselves onto your bones, words you'd never forget until your dying day. They were words that were to be written down. Words that your grandchildren would cry over one day when they stumbled upon your old journals in the attic.
Those kinds of things, those words, deserved to live in the universe alone for a bit, they're so powerful. You gave them space and respect, allowing what Max had said to you wash over your body.
"Oh my God. Of course. Yes. Please." You babble, really unable to make your mouth move in the way you want it. All you know is that you had never been so certain about anything in your entire existence.
Max slips the massive rock onto your finger before standing up to his full height. The diamond that winks up at you in dim candlelight is something that could be compared to the iceberg that sunk the titanic. Once the ring is secured on your hand, tonight's second perfect fit, Max catches your chin in his fingers to tip your head up towards him. When he kisses you, lips meeting yours so achingly tender, the entire world goes quiet. Everyone who could have possibly existed simply vanishes.
You stay like that for several moments, caught up in your boyfri- no, not boyfriend, fiance's arms and simply kiss him with every ounce of love you can wring out of your soul. His tongue licks into your mouth, eliciting a kitten like mewl of pleasure from the back of your throat. It's a sweet and tender kiss, soft and celebratory after what's just occurred.
"I love you." You say against his lips when you need a moment to breathe.
"I love you too. More than life, lifeje." Max's hand comes up to frame the side of your face, rubbing his thumb across your swollen bottom lip.
All you can do is stare up at him, pupils blown wide open. "How long have you been planning this? I can't believe you did all this...for me? Just for me?" For someone who has often gone unseen in their own family, being doted on like Max does is sometimes confusing.
"Months. I've had help. Danny and Lando helped decide where and how to do this." You can't help but chuckle at the thought of Daniel and Lando, two of Max's most unserious and unmarried friends, helping him plan a proposal.
"Alexandra and Kika too. They helped with the dress."
Your eyes widen in surprise. "Those two bitches knew and didn't tell me!"
Max tilts his head back and laughs heartily. The sound sends a zing down your spine. "No, although I suspect they might have figured it out. I just told them I was taking you on a surprise date and needed help with an outfit."
"And of course I did all of this for you." Max continues, face turning serious. "I did this all for you because I wanted you to know how important you are to me. How much I need you in my life. You're my everything, baby."
Emotion clogs your throat as you fight to keep the tears from falling. "I can't wait to be your wife, Maxie."
yourpersonalinsta posted
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1,293,938 likes liked by kikagomes, yourdad, danielricciardo, and others. yourpersonalinsta girlfriend < fiancé 💍 kikagomes ahhhhhhh congratulations pretty girl!!! you are going to make the most beautiful bride. WAIT OMG, is this why Max had Alex and I help buy that dress????? >>>yourpersonalinsta yes 🤭 love you kiks >>>user928 i'm sorry but am i reading this right? max had alex and kika help buy the dress that he had her wear to her own engagement. idk if i'll ever recover from this. user02938 MOM AND DAD ARE GETTING MARRIED landonorris glad he finally did it so i can stop hearing about how excited he is. >>>yourpersonalinsta love you too, lando >>>landonorris ❤️ maxverstappen1 can't wait to start calling you mrs. verstappen >>>user0283 i cannot be normal about this >>>user0029 i have no one to send this too redbullracing our favorite couple together forever!!! congrats you two (liked by author and maxverstappen1)
tags: @shelbyteller @formulaal @martygraciesversion381 @longhairkoo @samantha-chicago @stelena-klayley
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gnomewithalaptop · 7 hours ago
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Batfam Time Travel Fic Recs
Because @clarenceislazy requested it on my last fic rec compilation, here's a list of my favorite DCU time travel fics! They're all pretty Batfam-centric, but eh niche is niche what can you do
Damian fics:
A Good Place by LemonadeGarden - Damian gets sent back in time to a Batman who's never had a Robin. Very sweet, very fun.
The Rule Stands by Engineerd - After Dick's death, Damian has to deal with a time-displaced ten-year-old Dick Grayson. Love a good Dick and Damian bonding moment, PLUS this gets a happy ending <3
to stay in one place by Jezebunny - Injustice!Universe Nightwing!Damian time-travels/dimension-jumps to a timeline where Dick Grayson is still alive and his counterpart is still Robin. Ugh this is so angsty -- I have an unreasonable amount of love for Injustice Damian
looking for the shapes in the silence by popsunner - In a world where Dick died on the job, Damian falls through a hole in reality where Dick is still alive and finds that some things don't fit the way they used to. SUCH an amazing representation of complex grief -- literally every time I read it, I cry
Steph fics:
time slip by almondrose - A mistake in time leads to six Robins meeting. Honestly, this one is kinda cracky, and only barely qualifies as Steph-centric, but I still like it a lot
and we'll never be the same by almondrose - Steph and Tim go on a road trip to figure out the post-universal-reboot anomalies. This is more of a post timey-wimey-bullshit fic than a real time travel fic, BUT I think it's real cute regardless
Tim fics:
Tractors by lieu42 - Ooh this one is honestly so so fun! In a reimagined universe where DC's heroes operate out of the UK, Red Robin Tim finds himself right back in the year before everything went to hell. He has a duty to get back to his correct timeline so he can find Bruce, but with Bart and Kon still alive, there's a part of him that doesn't want to leave. Literally SO well written and trippy as hell -- this fic deals a lot with addiction, drug use, and grief, so definitely go into it forewarned. TimKon
not for very much longer by CreamOfTomatoSoup - ugh what CAN'T I say about this fic, apart from the fact that it's one of my favorite time loop fics of all time. Post Cult of Dionysus Bernard Dowd finds himself reliving the worst day of his life -- the day Darla got shot. Featuring identity porn, Steph as Robin, Original-Personality!Bernard, the grief of a childhood you can never return to, and the weirdness of having to interact with your significant other when he's currently a sixteen year old who doesn't know he likes dudes. Don't look at the incomplete warning -- it's not abandoned, just a wip, and I legitimately cannot recommend this fic enough. This fic made me read War Games. This fic made me a Darla Aquista stan. This fic made me ship timbern. Please read this fic.
Jason fics:
The View From Jade by lowflyingfruit - Jason Todd accidentally travels back to before Bruce took Dick in. I feel like this is on every time travel rec list, but what can I say: I'm a basic bitch
Two Dead Birds by InsaneTrollLogic - Jason Todd wakes up in the middle of his Mob Boss Era and immediately decides to rewrite his own history. This is very funky fresh of him, just in my personal opinion.
Dick fics:
So It Goes by 60sec400 - Bruce from Dick's Robin era receives a troubling call from Nightwing. Be warned -- this fic is angsty as hell. Implied major character death. Don't look at the incomplete warning -- it's a lie (the author has specified they intended it to work as a oneshot)
In This Or Any Other Universe by wildsofmarch - Dick-as-Batman ends up in Battinson-era Gotham. Again, I think this counts more towards the Dimension Travel pile than the strict Time Travel variety, but I'm still putting it here because I enjoy the hell out of it
a million dreams by CaptainOzone - In the seconds between the trapeze line snapping and their bodies hitting the ground, John and Mary Grayson find themselves transported twenty years into the future. SO GOOD I honestly can't stand it.
If you think I missed a fic you love (or if you've written any yourself and want to self-plug), feel free to drop a link in the reblogs! Especially if you know of any that center around Steph, Cass, or Duke -- istg I've scrolled through fifteen pages of the AO3 Time Travel tag, and I've found like maybe two fics that center around any of them. It's honestly a little ridiculous
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lolashifts · 1 day ago
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SHIFTING ISN'T SPECIAL
please bare with me on this one bc it might be a bit longer than i expected (and excuse my very bad title-naming skills 😭)
in this essay i will try to put down in words exactly what i realised today as i started my first day into reprogramming my mind, something that i’m doing while following reya singh’s method. what is that?
shifting IS easy.
yes, i know everybody says it, but it’s the truth and i’m not telling you this as someone who shifts regularly to her drs, because i don’t (yet!). however, it did just click in my mind why people always say it and mean it. and i feel incredibly stupid for not understanding it waaay earlier than just now, 4 years into my journey.
now, let me walk you through the thought process behind this.
in reya’s 4-day method for reprogramming your mind, she instructs to write a list of your beliefs and non-beliefs. this may sound really silly and kinda useless at first - believe me, i woke up this morning thinking “what exactly am i supposed to do after that?” - but there’s a valid reason for it, which is to help you delete from your mind the idea that shifting is like a superpower that’s simply not for everyone and very hard to reach, when that is not the case at all!
in my own beliefs list, i’ve written “i am capable of shifting” right in between “i can speak english”, “i can write and read” and “i can eat --” (and some other things like “i can’t eat gluten”, bc i have celiac disease, “i can dream”, we all do! and “i can lucid dream”). you see where i’m going with this? i’m putting shifting in the same category as things we all normally do, that we sometimes don’t even think about doing since they’re such a natural activity. to this list i could add “i can breathe”, because we do it automatically, without even realising unless we focus on it. the same can be said for drinking or eating really, if you’re angry or thirsty you just go and get whatever pleases you the most and not dwell on it.
in the non-beliefs list, i’ve written obvious things like santa and the easter bunny (which isn’t common here in italy tbf but yeah) and sentences like “i can’t swim”, “i can’t draw”, “i can’t eat strawberries” and in between them also “i don’t fear shifting”. here, the point is that all these listed beliefs are stuff i know for a fact to be false: i can swim perfectly, i am an artist and i love strawberries + i’m not allergic to them or anything. by placing shifting there, i'm stating that just like i KNOW i can swim or whatever, i also KNOW i'm not scared of shifting.
you’re literally gaslighting your subconscious mind into believing what is real for a fact and what isn’t.
after writing down this list, which can be done on paper just like on your preferred device, i reread everything twice explaining to myself why i chose these things and why they are beliefs or not. that’s how i realised that shifting is easy. when people talk about it “clicking” they weren’t lying!
shifting isn’t special, this is what the list thing tries to prove you. it’s not special because, just like breathing and eating and reading, we do it subconsciously everyday. take your own first language: you speak it naturally without having to doubt it, and if you know a second language well enough like i know english for instance (my mother-tongue is italian) then you can even start talking to yourself and think in that language without having to search up translations.
what’s the difference with shifting then?
the difference is that shifting hasn’t been taught to us in the same way as a language has been, all throughout school. the same thing goes for reading and writing: we read and write naturally because we’ve been taught how to when we were young and it’s now engraved in our brains, just like with learning our first language, which is something we normally do thanks to our teachers, our families and the people around us, of course. this doesn’t happen with shifting in most cases, as we all know, which means it’s normal for it to take a bit to grasp as a concept and existing thing/activity. it’s natural, most of us human beings just don’t know about it, nor that we’re capable of doing it.
this is why i said it’s not special: just like breathing, everybody can do it (and so do you)!
going back to the non-beliefs list; i should also add that as a society we usually are taught what to believe in from a young age, and specifically what is believed to be a fantasy, a dream, or something real. as grown-ups, though, we have the right to believe in whatever we want, like shifting. as a realistic person, i understand that some people may have a hard time believing something as great as shifting could be true, because it genuinely doesn’t sound like it! so yes, this is also a factor that can and does make it harder for someone to trust their guts and expect to wake up somewhere that’s only fictional here.
shifting clicks for everybody at different times, but i hope this post will help some of you here understand it better and know that what more experienced shifters say always has a meaning, you just need the time to properly reflect on it to get it!
when it clicked for me a few hours ago i felt a huge rush of adrenaline and happiness bc yes, i can actually shift. i’m just overcomplicating it for no reason and so many of you are doing the same!
it’s okay though, we’ll all get there <3
(psa: if you saw any grammar mistakes or anything NO YOU DIDN'T and also please don't mind if this rant doesn't sound logical, i tried my best to explain myself like i wanted to 🥲)
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freetobeafcknriot · 6 hours ago
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okay so, hi! :) i've got too many bookmarks for this random mini list to be complete, buuuut i gotcha! ben's my favorite, too, so [cracks knuckles]
think of me fondly (when we've said goodbye) ; 100,404 words, 12 chapters, for the post-season one thirteen-year old again crowd. it's ben-centric and focuses heavily on his relationship with the horror as well.
for the ghosts in the halls ; 3,460 words, one-shot where ben lives again at the end of season two. i won't spoil anything else, just give it a go.
Hang the Blessed DJ ; 47,740 words, 16 chapters and for the thirteen-year old again crowd again. quoting the summary, the objective is to save the world. klaus just wants to save ben. (ben isn’t certain he wants to be saved.) it ends up okay though, i promise.
rolling thunder and specks of sand ; 5,940 words, 3 chapters. literally just diego takeing ben and five on a road trip to see the ocean. i re-read this from time to time when i wanted to feel happy before season four aired and now as you can imagine it's even more useful.
Strange Arrangements ; 10,733 words, one-shot. in which instead of dying at seventeen ben finds himself stuck in another dimension unable to get home... for now. heavily character-centric with a twist at the end to realign with season one.
He Who Breaks Butterflies Upon the Wheel ; 22,883 words, 4 chapters and unfinished but personally i read it fine pretending it has an open ending. post-season two what if where the gang travels back to 2019 and there ends up being two bens: sparrow ben, obviously, and their ben.
picture book ; series of 18 fanfics, diverging from the end of season one and basically a slice of life that deals with the siblings finding their place in the world and with each other again. there's a bit of everything, including ben-centric stuff!
pull this pin and let the world explore ; 51,140 words, 7 chapters (one pov for each sibling). au where instead of jumping into the future five convinces the others to run away from home.
Life After Death, Literally ; 5,009 words, one-shot consisting in 5 times ben forgot he was alive +1 time he remembered.
Anyone got any fic recommendations?
I want to read some more TUA fics where the siblings go back in time to their younger selves. Whether they’re in the younger bodies, or they meet their younger selves, or anything, I just want to read some more of these.
My favourite character is Ben, so if the fic focused on him that would be brilliant, but I’ll take anything!
They are so good to read, but so challenging to find because they are all tagged so differently!
Thanks.
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crazy-fangirl2524 · 7 months ago
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Things I’m so grateful for in tsc (things I was praying would become canon and they did and I will kiss the floor Nora walks on)
TSC SPOILERS BELOW
Jean having a crush on Kevin (the unrequited love omg)
The end of tkm in another pov (I love reading about the foxes in another pov especially Jean’s)
Jean describing Neil (finally the recognition of Neil being completely unhinged and dangerous)
Jerejean pining on both sides (we won but at what cost)
Jean/renee acknowledging how the thing between them wouldn’t work even if they wanted to try (right person wrong time)
Stuart
Basically I feel like everything I read was somehow already in some fanfics I’ve read (so nothing much surprised me because I was expecting the worst) but obv this is way better and it’s CANON
Actually just the entire tsc I love it so much I wouldn’t change a single thing about it and I’m so grateful Nora wrote this
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dsntwrk · 1 month ago
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help me i've gotten so deep into the steddie rabbit hole i haven't gotten this stuck on something since destiel
this really isn't good for my health
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THESE ARE THE FICS THAT I SUBSCRIBED TO / LIKED READING (I'VE BASICALLY READ 1/5 WORTH OF STEDDIE FICS COMPARED TO DESTIEL FICS - I GOT INTO DESTIEL 4 YRS AGO, I ONLY STARTED READING STEDDIE FICS SOME TIME LAST MONTH WTF)
tbf, i have taken breaks from destiel to read other fandoms/fics so, ig the timing works out? if you think about it?
#steddie#destiel#fics#ao3#also if anyone comes across this post i can rec you some of my absolute favs#these stats for my fics don't even include the ones i finished but didn't enjoy all that much#or the ones i abandoned halfway through even though it was like 100k words#i really dont care if i've spent hours reading it#i literally just leave if i get slightly annoyed by the writing#i'm not kidding#it's a problem#but also not really?#i'm just complaining for the sake of it#also i never got into stranger things fics for some reason even though i watched all of the show#idk why#i think it's bc i watched the show w/ my dad? so i felt weird to read fics about it?#like i considered it a family show for some reason#and for some reason reading fics for that was off limits??#idk#i also i'm getting scared that i won't ever be interested in my other fandoms again bc of how much i am invested in steddie stuff#this was exactly like destiel though#i just gotta get it out of my system#i have no idea why i'm so scared of losing interest in my other fandoms#also if anyone is wondering where these stats are coming from i made a spreadsheet of all the works i like#it's basically a replica of my subscriptions list because when i started ao3 i acted like the subscribe button functioned like bookmarks an#now i cant go back#so instead of transferring everything i just took the time to make a spreadsheet and basically code the functions myself#which arguably took more time to do than if i transferred everything#i would share the list but i'm sort of embarrassed of the stuff that's on there#if anyone is curious i have 676 fics stored on it
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zukkaoru · 10 months ago
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i am once again astounded at the bsd fandom's ability to make everything about skk when, in fact, it has very little to do with skk
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ninashiki · 3 months ago
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i feel like almost everything in utena has sort of already been extensively discussed in the last two (almost three) decades of utena's existence (not that there aren't new interpretations to be made, there always are) besides black rose arc (mikage+mamiya+tokiko). which is why they're so much fun to think about. i think the need to read between the lines makes it unfortunately easy to misunderstand or look past obvious stuff if you don't pay attention, but to me it's always been really obvious that mikage's arc is a literal representation of the erasure of queerness in ohtori (society?) by akio/everything he represents. and that's so fucking tragic! nemuro was never able to find a name for his desires. he lived and died as a puppet in the shadows.
#rgu#i think sadly that trigger warning list that people always passed around kind of stunted discussion bc of the assumptions it made#like. i think its okay to say that mikage/nemuro was always in love with mamiya and not tokiko#not that its impossible to interpret him as bisexual (similar to how people see utena as bisexual)#but his love for mamiya is what changed his life (same for utena/her meeting anthy)#one scene i never see people bring up is how#at one point mikage says that attaining eternity wouldn't even make 'her' happy#and then akio questions '''her'' you say?'#the only reason mikage thinks attaining eternity wouldnt even make 'her' i.e 'tokiko' happy is because he just had a conversation#with mamiya where he admitted the whole endeavor was making him unhappy#if anything it would have made tokiko happy to attain eternity and forever preserve her brother like a dead flower#which is what akio does with anthy! so fucked!#ALSO another thing#is that mikage sees utena as tokiko returned#just like how utena meets 'dios' - returned as akio#he claims he will finally beat tokiko - in this place (the dueling arena) - which is kind of foreshadowing utena fighting akio?????#anthy!mamiya says to mikage in the black rose musical:#“You can’t win against her. You will eternally lose to my sister who dwells in your memories.”#or “You will never beat my sister; who dwells in your memories.” in the nozomient translation#which makes so much sense because anthy couldn't believe utena could win against akio either#god i could literally keep going#by read between the lines i mean like how akio actively tries to lie to the audience by saying things like#'mamiya was created for you out of your lingering attachment to tokiko'#of course nemuro/mikage being gay isn't all there is to him bc like always everything in utena has 1000 layers#really love the general theme of becoming static and unchanged forever bc of our attachment to nostalgia/memories/eternity#(re: can't grow up)#tho in mikages case he is literally just a ghost summoned by akio. which the utena sega saturn vn confirms#also definitely people talk about black rose arc (i.e me right now) but i feel like the majority of the fandom kind of side steps it#on tumblr specifically at least?? im not on the fansite forums or discord#rgu meta
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girlthativealwaysbeen · 2 months ago
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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cumulo-stratus · 3 months ago
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Max r u okay😰
yeth
everything just sucks rn
my sister is gone (at college she's not dead) so i'm dealing with that and the house feeling empty, and school is starting soon, and my mom is at a new job, and there's gonna be a ton of new students at school who i don't know, and idk my brain isn't built for this
i got overwhelmed tn but luckily i ended up being okay with minimal crying 🥇🥇
and i called my sister so i got to talk to her!!
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frobby · 4 months ago
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Romance manga with a fat mc/love interest: :D
They were only fat because of trauma and now that theyre in a relationship theyre skinny: :(
#STOP DOING THIS LET THEM BE FAT FOR FATS SAKE FAKE PEOPLE DESERVE LOVE ITS NOT A BARRIER TO OVERCOME#KILLING KILLING KILLING#Genetically fat people deserve love fat people who got fat from trauma and STAY fat deserve love#Of course this narrative wouldnt be a problem if it wasnt literally every single one#Even if its not this specific narrative its usually still about fatness and how that hinders a relationship#Why cant someone be fat and it be uninportant to the story#For some positivity im gonna highlight some of my fave fat romance mangas#Minegishi loves otsu#Its always minegishi loves otsu go read it now it does pretty much everything right fat boy wise and otsu is insecure about his weight#But its not like bad insecure its regular insecure like its not a conflict#Confessions of a shy baker#The only influence one of the characters weight has on the story is his boyfriend is baking him healthy treats cuz hes trying to lose weigh#Which on its face i dont think is a bad thing and its not what the story is about its just a facet of their relationship#Its pretty funny and chill also like...if u wanna make healthy treats theres a bunch of actual recipes in it#Mori no takuma#Okay this one is weird and technically does everything wrong to a comical degree and thats why i like it#Also takuma stays fat even after the ending plus for him#It does have the weird 'he gets skinny when its nervous' and it is literally about the girl not wanting to date a fat guy but whatever#You may notice that......all of these are where a man is fat and yeah#I would list one if i had one#For context im a fat lesbian#Attracted to fat women#Anyway if yall have fat romance manga suggestions lemme know id love to read them#animanga#anime#manga#anime and manga
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denizenhardwick · 2 years ago
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when i think "romantic friendship" i think of all the anime i watched when i was like 13/14 and just realizing i was maybe a lesbian that had all-girl casts and everything was just so extremely gay. pmmm, yuyuyu, school-live!, yuru yuri, etc.
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martsonmars · 2 years ago
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desperately trying not to have a panic attack about university hehehe
#literally the only thing i'm supposed to do is study#am i doing it? nope of course. i have less than a month left to take exams and i should take at least 2 but i haven't opened a book in more#than a month and the thought fills me with dread and i literally physically cannot do it#it's possible that going back to my uni flat would help (it would be a change in scenery for sure) but on wednesday it will be a year since#my father died and there's this fucking church thing and my mother won't force me to stay but i really should. shouldn't i?#after all it's already saturday and i've already wasted 40 days. what's half a week more?#i keep staring at the list of exams and i know that if i spent every waking second studying i could get back on track and graduate when i'm#supposed to graduate but 1. it's not healthy and 2. my brain refuses to study for ONE exam let alone 14 so it's unrealistic#and at this point i should just accept that i'm going to graduate one year late and one year after all my friends because last year i did#absolutely nothing. and last autumn started out great. i moved. i was organised. and then the first week of october my mother was at the#hospital and i had to go home for a week and somehow i let that week screw up my entire semester#and now i'm panicking because i have only 18 days before the exam i'm supposed to take and it doesn't feel enough for everything i have to#study but it's not going to get better if i just let all the days pass without doing anything but i can't i can't i can't#so yeah i should be kind to myself and accept i'll need one additional year for all the exams and take it slowly which is the only way to#actually get things done. but i don't want to. i don't want to tell my mother that i failed at the one thing i'm supposed to be doing#but i really really can't it's hard and i'm failing and my head is screaming that i don't deserve hobbies and yet i keep wasting my days#it's one am and i should either sleep or relax because it's not like i can do anything now and yet i feel like i need to fix my entire life#right this second or i'll explode. i'm so tired of my thoughts.#please ignore all this ^ because i know most of it is irrational or whatever and i DON'T WANT to hear rational things#if you've read until here and really want to say something just tell me that right now i'm allowed to relax#any other comment would make me feel worse#💖💖💖#**one month left to take exams this semester not forever hahaha but then i'd be supposed to take all the remaining exams in the summer#and i can't possibly take 14 exams between now and july which is why i'm panicking (there are other logistically confusing things in what i#said but i wanted to clear this one up at least lmao) (i'm already feeling vaguely better can't you see?)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#so thinking abt my inability to do things in thr context of my 0cd is interesting. bc i would say my primary problem is my obsessive#compulsive behavior and inflexibility. idk if thr inflexibility is inherent to me bc its part of the reason i got stamped with aut1sm or but#its part of what maked it so hard to tell if i had 0cd or not. bc im just so fucking rigid and structured abt literally everything without#any reason. y do i have to do X thing and i cant do Y thing? idk my brain just says i cant. which kinda does align with 0cd more or just#like something compulsive. and its sorta weird bc i think im a lot more aligned with purely obsessional 0cd. so i dont do a lot of external#ritual. its more abstract. like constantly i have to work or b perfect or else i start getting intrusive thoughts. always thr same ones. and#to make them go away i have to physically suffer usually thru overworking to my mental breaking point or sometimes more direct ways#when its really bad. and then i have to keep working. and i do a lot of fucking ruminating. fucking constand catogorizing and pathological#self reflection. again i have high standards and high affinity for self punishment which is a lot to deal with. its exhausting and misery#making. and the annoying thing is that im like this for a reason. i mean it makes sense. having a learning disability plus bad short term#working memory plus some mood weirdness. ive created a structure that makes me productive but also creates so much pressure thst i cant#function at all sometimes. and whats worse is that even then even with the amount of checking i do i am still a master of fucking up the lil#things. i forgot to write my name in the autoclave list and caused problems for ppl bc i forgot when i went up there Even tho i new i needed#to. i also forgot to put thr foam cap on a liquid nitrogen tank which would have been SO FUCKING BAD if it all evaporated. so many samples#woulf have been lost bc i just fucking forgot to put it back. that was just this week. idk i just forget things like that. i left a freezer#door open in hs and we lost everything in the freezer. i also fucked up an whole experiment by not reading a schedule right. and its really#frustrating not being able to trust that youve done the right thing in the past. not to mention all the bullshit i mislabel but thats more#dys1exia realated. alas. i check and check and get anxious spikes of: FUCK DID I DO X? for a reason. but also its no fun#unrelated
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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i’ve got a villain tier list but not in terms of how good they are or whatever but just in terms of how funny i think they are and mine and masato constantly fight for #1 in my brain
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venusqq · 1 year ago
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when you don’t know how to pack a suitcase for your vacation, so you just take a bag and THROW IN ANY ITEM OR PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU HAVE EVER OWNED
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