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ironstrange1991 · 2 years ago

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The Touch Of Your Hands

+18 Smut

Pairing: Stephen!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: It's cold and Stephen's hands are hurting and you decide to take care of them (and other things too)

Word Count: 4,4k

Warnings: Mentions of physical pain, SMUT: Strong hand kink, fingering, oral sex (with female receiving), masturbation (with female receiving), unprotected p in v sex, creampie.

A/N: I've always had a fascination with men's hands and since Stephen's hands are such an important part of his story (and the fact that Benedict's hands are huge) it's kind of obvious that I would be obsessed with them. This story pretty much wrote itself and I intended it to be a fluffy fic, but as you'll see it took a totally different turn. Enjoy your reading ;)

You were reading your favorite book, sitting lazily on your bed, back propped up by a pile of pillows. It was cold, very cold. You were dressed in flannel pajamas, wearing fluffy socks and covered in a heavy blanket.

The fireplace was lit, outside you could hear the sound of the wind hitting the window. Weather forecasters had predicted a blizzard for that night and the next morning. Flights had been cancelled, schools had sent notes to parents that they would be closed the following day, local businesses would probably do the same.

You liked the winter, but the idea of Stephen being out in the snow doing god knows what was absurd to you and made you feel guilty for being comfortable when you knew your man was out there in the cold.

You were distracted by your book until you started to feel sleep taking over you, your eyes closing by themselves, so you placed your book on the bedside table, turned off the lamp and surrendered to the tireness of the day.

You must have dozed off for only a few minutes because the sound of boots in the hallway was enough to wake you up. The door opened slowly and Stephen entered and closed it carefully so as not to make any noise. You were so comfortable that you didn't even move, you just expected him to go to you and give you a kiss, like he always did, but instead you heard him walking to the bathroom and the closet door creaking open.

You continued to listen carefully until the sound of something falling and crashing on the floor startled you. Stephen swore under his breath, but you could hear the irritation in his voice.

By then you had completely lost sleep, so you got up, wrapped yourself in your fluffy robe and walked over to him.

Stephen was still dressed in his robes, standing in front of the mirror, trying to clean some bruises from his face. Trying because his hands were shaking a lot more than usual.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to wake you." He said with a heavy sigh.

You walked over and wrapped your arms around his waist. "It's okay. Christ, you're freezing in these wet robes, Stephen."

He turned to look at you, his face was red from the cold, there were a few cuts on his cheekbones and forehead, no big deal. "I hate to ask, Y/n, but..."

"Yes I can help you undress. I already told you that you can call me when you need help, Stephen."

He nodded "I know, but you looked so comfortable that I didn't have the heart."

You smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Then you set about unbuckling all his belts. You freed him of the top of his robes and knelt down to remove his boots and finally free him of his pants as well.

"Thanks, sweetheart. My hands are terrible today. Probably from the cold. It's freezing outside."

"From what I've seen on TV, it's not going to get better anytime soon. At least we can stay in bed late." You gave him your best smile and then stepped away and turned on the shower, adjusting the temperature until the water was piping hot. "Take a hot shower, then I'll take care of your hands. They are hurting, right?"

He nodded shyly, quickly got rid of his boxers and stepped into the shower.

You got him a change of clean clothes and left them on the counter, then went about preparing a basin of hot water and lavender essence. You grabbed some clean towels and the bottle of lavender oil and took it to bed with you.

Stephen did not take long to return to the room. He looked gorgeous in his sweatshirt and pants, hair messed up, a few strands falling over his forehead.

"Come on, let me take care of you." You said patting the mattress.

He smirked and crawled under the blankets with you and you adjusted the pillows behind him "Lean on the pillows"

He did as you asked and you spread one of the towels on his lap over the blankets. "Put your hands here, palms facing up. Good."

You wet another towel in the hot water and wrung out the excess water and wrapped it around Stephen's hands as he let out a heavy sigh.

"Let's wait a minute for them to get really warm." You said touching his face. The cuts had been cleaned up, but you knew they must be hurting. "It always breaks my heart when you come home hurt."

He tried to smile reassuringly, but he couldn't even do that. You could see the weariness written on his face, his eyes heavy from all those sleepless nights.

"You're not going to work tomorrow, okay?"

"Sweetheart, I need..."

You put two fingers on his lips "Shh you don't need anything. Nobody's going to work tomorrow because of the bad weather. I want you to enjoy the day to rest and get some sleep."

"I can't, Y/n..."

"I'm not asking, Stephen. Unless you want to pick a fight with me, you're going to do what I say."

He sighed heavily "I'll call Wong tomorrow morning."

You smile "Very well."

You kissed him gently and then took the towel from his hands and returned it to the basin. You took the bottle of lavender oil and dripped a few drops into his palm and then smoothed it very gently all over his hand. "Let me know if it hurts, okay?"

He nodded.

You turned his left hand over palm down and started massaging his fingers. Starting with the pinky, you pinched the tip of the finger firmly for a moment, then used firm, short strokes with your thumb, massaging up the finger towards the knuckle. Finally, squeezing it all over. You repeated the process on the other fingers and he let out a heavy exhale. "This feels amazing, sweetheart."

You smiled "Yeah?"

"Uh hm" He hummed leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

You used your thumb to massage the back of his hand, placing the pad of your thumb between the pinky and ring finger, using medium pressure, sliding your thumb along the finger bone, up towards the wrist. You repeated the process working your way up along each finger bone taking some extra time in the place between his thumb and index finger, using circular motions.

"I love it when you take care of my hands like this. There's no one in the world I would let do that to me but you."

You smiled, feeling your heart fluttering in your chest at those words, but you continued with your work. You turned his hand over, and cradled it in both hands. Then began to massage the palm in small, circular movements using your thumbs, beginning in the middle of the palm, and working your way towards the sides, and then up towards his wrist. He let out a sweet noise. Something between a groan and a moan. His eyes were still closed, his breathing calm and relaxed.

"I love doing this for you. It's very intimate and it makes me feel good too."

You held Stephen's hand palm down, and interlaced your fingers with his to stretch the fingers apart. Grasping the whole hand in yours, and gently pushed back to stretch the wrist a bit. Slowly and carefully turned the wrist from right to left, and then left to right.

You finished the massage with a few more drops of lavender oil and proceeded to give several long strokes with your palm and fingers, beginning at the back of the wrist, and smoothing your hand down towards the fingers.

"One is finished." You kissed the back of his hand. "Now, give me the other hand."

He did as you asked and you restarted the whole process. Very slowly, taking your time, you worked on his fingers, his wrist, his palm, the back of his hand. You finished it off again with a kiss and when you dared look at him, he was looking intently at you, his blue eyes filled with love and affection.

You felt your face blushing at that look. "What is it?"

He smirked "I love you, Y/n. I love you so much, more than I ever thought I could love anyone. You are the most important thing to me in this world."

You grinned and threw yourself on top of him kissing him passionately. His arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you impossibly close to him.

You only broke the kiss to breathe and still you stayed glued to him, your forehead resting on his "I love you too, Stephen Strange. I love you more than anything."

He kissed you again, this time sweetly, his lips brushing against yours gently. You smiled and then moved away removing the towel from his lap.

"So, on a scale of 0 to 10, how much better is the pain in your hands now?"

"10. I'm not feeling any pain right now."

You smiled smugly "See? I know how to take care of my man."

You threatened to get up to take the basin and towels, but he moved his fingers making them disappear and grabbed you by the wrist pulling you on top of him. He arranged the blankets over your bodies. No matter how cold it was outside, it was so warm there under the covers with him. So comfortable.

"There's another way you can take care of me, now." He said with his most cocky smile.

You bit your bottom lip "And what way would that be?"

He moved both hands down to your ass moving them purposefully against his hard on. "Like this. Feel how hard I already am just from you taking care of my hands. I can't help it. It feels so good."

"Hum, I know. I feel the same way, I just didn't say it because I thought you might find it a bit weird."

He chuckled "What? That you have a hand kink? Not weird at all. And you don't need to say it, sweetheart, your eyes say everything for you."

You kissed him, biting his bottom lip to tease him. "And what do my eyes say, doctor?"

He kept one hand on your ass, but brought the other up to your face, cupping your cheek. His thumb forcing your lips open. "That you get horny looking at my hands, you like to admire them, touch them, but especially feel them on you."

"Hmm" You hummed opening your mouth for him and letting his thumb rest on your tongue. Spit gathering around it.

"You don't even try to deny it, do you sweetheart?"

You wrapped your lips around his finger and swallowed thickly, sucking his finger shamelessly as you began to move your hips on top of him, grinding back and forth on his bulge.

Stephen moaned and you felt his cock twitching beneath you. He took his hand from your ass and moved it in one quick gesture and instantly you were both naked. You lifted your hips enough for him to position his cock at your entrance and then lowered letting him penetrate you. You were wet from the moment you started massaging his hands, so he easily slid inside making you both moan loudly.

You started to move, riding him slowly, sensually. You weren't in a hurry, you wanted to enjoy your time with him, feel him inside you, stretching you. You were sure there was no better feeling in the world.

You took his hand that was on your face, taking his thumb out of your mouth with a pop, but proceeded to run your lips all over his palm, giving open mouth kisses and little bites to it, reveling in the feel of his hand on your face, in your mouth and on your tongue. Licking each of his fingers and then sucking on them and moaning shamelessly as you moved up and down, back and forth on his cock.

He moaned loud "That's right, sweetheart, use me. I'm all yours tonight."

You gave his palm one last kiss and then slid his hand to your breast, he grabbed it immediately, circling his thumb over your nipple, squeezing it. The other hand firmly on your hip.

"Feels so good, Stephen. You feel so good inside of me, stretching me just right. I love riding you, having you like this, underneath me. It’s so rare."

He moaned again and you felt his cock pulsing hard inside you "You know I need to be in control, sweetheart. It's how I like it. But tonight I'm too tired and I want you to keep taking care of me. You do it so well. So good to me. I'm so lucky."

You took his hand that was on your hip and brought it to your breast and held both of his hands there and started to move faster, letting yourself be carried away by the moment and feeling the pleasure building deep in your womb.

"If I could I would stay here with you forever. Just me and you, you inside me, your hands in me. God, Stephen, I love your hands."

He gave you a cocky smirk "I know. Tell me why you love them so much. What makes them so special?"

You bit your bottom lip to contain a loud moan and Stephen tsked. "Don't hold back, sweetheart. Let me hear you."

You moaned loudly feeling your pussy fluttering and you knew you couldn't take much more, you were so close and Stephen could feel it too.

"They're big. L-Long fingers." You replied closing your eyes and letting yourself be carried away by all the sensations.

"Yeah? What else? Tell me all about it. I want to hear it."

"R-Rough. They are rough. Feels good against my skin... Oh my god" You leaned against his chest increasing your pace. "Stephen I wanna cum."

He cupped your face and his hand was so warm against your skin, the light tremors were so peculiarly pleasing. You loved even that, even though you didn't have the courage to tell him.

"Open your eyes, sweetheart, look at me. I want to look you in the eye when you cum."

You nodded obediently and looked directly into his eyes. "Tell me I can cum."

"You can cum, sweetheart. You were so good to me, you deserve it. Use me and cum all over my cock. I'm right after you."

You brushed your hair away from your face to one side and leaned forward just enough to cage Stephen's head between your arms, the new variation of the position providing delicious friction of your clit on his pubic bone and eliciting a loud moan from your lips.

Stephen bent his head up to kiss you, his tongue thrusting into your mouth insistently to sate a desire that never really went away, just grew stronger and stronger.

You kept moving your hips back and forth, Stephen's two hands found the flesh of your ass again and stayed there helping you move, allowing his cock to move in and out of you providing just the right amount of pleasure that you needed and the sound of it was so good. Wet, you were so impossibly wet and the squelching sound was obscenely erotic.

Your fingers threaded through his hair and your breath and moan merged into one as you felt your orgasm creeping up on you like a fire rushing through a forest, burning, consuming, ravaging.

"Don't hold back, sweetheart, give it to me."

You had your eyes locked on his and no words were needed, he could see it happening and he could definitely feel the way your pussy tightened around his cock and then enveloped him in warm fluid, proof of your pleasure. Your entire body convulsed on top of his, your mouth went agape, eyes full of tears of joy and contentment.

"That's it, sweetheart, you did so good to me. Cuming so hard on my cock, being such a good girl." Stephen cooed cupping your face and kissing your lips softly. He wiped a tear that ran down your face with his thumb and you gave him the most beautiful smile in the world. "I love you, Stephen. So much."

He held you tight and flipped you under him in one swift motion. Your head on the pillows, back on the mattress, his cock never left you and he was throbbing, demanding him to sate his desire for you, but Stephen wasn't in a hurry, neither of you were, not that night.

He leaned on one arm so as not to drop his body weight on you, the other hand he took to your thigh, positioning it firmly on his hip as you took the hint and intertwined both legs on his back allowing him to go even deeper and then he began to move, slowly, sensually, making love instead of fucking, although in Stephen's head it was hard to find the line that separated these two things.

For you, however, they were clear as day and you loved getting fucked by your man, but you loved it even more when he took his time with you, making love to you like you were the most fragile thing in the world under his rough hands.

He grabbed your chin and kissed you roughly dissociating from the loving way he fucked you, his tongue thrusting inside your mouth much more vigorously and you knew there was a part of Stephen that would never relinquish control and being quite honest, you didn’t mind.

"S-Stephen, it feels so good..."

He bit your lower lip and took his lips to your chin, letting out an almost painful groan. "Fuck sweetheart, I want this to last, but I can't hold it, it feels too good and I'm so close..."

You smiled reassuringly holding his hand that was cupping your face. "It's okay, I already had mine. Cum for me, Stephen. Cum inside me, show me how much you love me."

The way Stephen's body obeyed your words would be pathetic if you two weren't fully aware of how much you loved each other. It was almost instantaneous. He let out a loud moan and buried his face in your neck as his entire body shook and ropes of warm cum painted your walls white.

God, you loved that feeling. Feeling the warmth of his seed buried deep inside you, hearing the sweet noises he made when he gave himself completely to his pleasure, the feel of his hands squeezing your flesh as if that was the only way he could stay on the earthly plane and knowing that you were responsible for having him that way. You could have that every night of your life and it still wouldn't be enough.

You could feel his cum oozing out of you and soiling the sheets and your pussy fluttered around his softened cock just by the thought of it. It was undeniable that you wanted more, but you knew Stephen was tired, otherwise he wouldn't have softened so quickly after cum, the man could take several rounds in one night.

He kissed you softly and then sighed heavily "I hate to leave you wanting more..."

You shushed him and went back to kissing him, your tongue entering his mouth, exploring, sucking on his tongue. He let out a satisfied hum and you took his hand that was on your face and directed it between you and he quickly took the hint and brought it to your clit and started playing with the swollen bud to which you let out a satisfied moan.

"Like this?" He asked with a smirk and you just nodded, leaning your head back and giving in to the feeling.

He pulled out, his lips trailing down your chin, lingering on your breasts. He took one nipple into his mouth, sucking slowly, then moving on to the other.

You arched your back letting yourself be carried away by the pleasure as his lips moved down your abdomen and finally reached its destination. He sucked on your clit gently and used two fingers to penetrate you, using his own cum as lube and making a lewd squelching noise while finger fucking you.

He fluttered his tongue on your clit, giving little cat licks on it and blowing gently on your sensitive bud making you see stars. Stephen knew exactly what to do and how to do it.

"Oh my god, Stephen. You do it so well."

He replaced his tongue with his thumb, circling it around your clit as his fingers moved in and out of you. He reached to kiss you softly and then replaced his mouth with his middle and index finger.

"Suck" He demanded and you gladly obeyed, nursing on his fingers like your life depended on it. "Good girl." He cooed.

Stephen curled his fingers to reach your g spot and found it with frightening ease. You moaned around his fingers and he began to mimic the movements of his fingers on your pussy in your mouth, fucking your mouth with them and watching intently as you fell apart with the act. "Give it to me. Show me how much you love these long fingers working on you, sweetheart."

You closed your eyes feeling another orgasm approaching as he tsked.

"Look at me, keep your eyes open for me."

You complied, your moans suppressed by Stephen's big fingers fucking your mouth, he increased the pace of his thumb on your clit and you started to move your hips against his hand, getting as much friction as possible.

Stephen grinned "Good girl, make yourself cum on my hand and suck nice and hard on my fingers, show me how much you love my hands."

And just as he instructed, you came hard in his hand. Your entire body convulsing with the force of your orgasm. Stephen hummed satisfied, but only stopped working his fingers on you when he was sure you had finished. "Such a good girl. I'm so lucky to be able to come home after a day like I've had knowing that I have such a good girl waiting for me."

He took his fingers out of your mouth and kissed you sweetly "Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

You just nodded, the words seemed to have vanished from your mind, your body felt like jelly.

He smiled watching you for a second and then he knelt between your legs and moved his fingers and the basin and towels you used earlier reappeared on top of the bed. He moved his fingers again and one of the towels seemed to come to life, dipping into the basin and wringing itself out of excess water. He took it then and began to clean you gently, the feel of the warm towel was very welcome on your sensitive pussy.

"I'm the lucky one, Stephen." You said when he finished his work and got rid of the basin with another wave of his hand. He snapped his fingers and you both got dressed again in your comfortable clothes.

He threw himself onto the pillows and pulled you into his arms pulling the blankets back over your bodies. You laid your head comfortably on his shoulder, your hand automatically reaching for his, lacing your fingers through his.

"How's the pain?" You asked and he sighed turning his face to place a kiss on your forehead.

"It’s hurting a bit now, but only because I forced them a little too hard."

You brought his hand to your lips and placed a small kiss on his palm to which he sighed contentedly.

You got distracted for a few minutes in silence, playing with his hand and when you dared to look at Stephen he was asleep. His face calm and relaxed, his breathing regular and steady. You smiled touching his face gently and feeling your chest fill with a love so big you didn't know how you could contain it inside.

Outside, the wind howled against the windows, but inside your shared bedroom the fire crackled keeping you warm and safe.

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing!

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zorosq · 2 years ago

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crazy in love ; vinsmoke sanji

↻ stalker sanji, modern au, obsessive/possessive behavior, established relationship, hes crazy in short, grammatical errors (?)

↻ pairing ↬sanji x fem!reader!

anonymous asked: heyy how are u doing? i'm a lil late but i saw your post about dark fic requests so i can't help but let you know about the idea of stalker sanji that have been plaguing my mind recently, nothing crazy or intense but a lil possessive ??

tbh i got this idea while listening to mark chapman by maneskin and the image just can't leave my mind. it's a great song btw check it out for inspiration

or feel free to ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. have a nice day <;33

a/n AHHH IVE BEEN THINKING THE SAME THING FOR A WHILE 😭 (sanji definitely got that possessive stalker vibe) also i just realized that my sanji fics has the most "love" title 😭

he’s really not crazy. he’s just... really in love with you. that’s what he kept telling himself.

he just felt the need to protect you from the dark. from any danger. he’s just trying to protect you. that was what he told himself when he followed you home, unknown to you. sanji made sure to planned everything smoothly.

when he first laid his eyes on you, he decided that it was fate. that you were bound to be his. so he made his plans despite the small rational part telling him that it’s stupid and crazy. but oh... how in love he is with you. he just couldn’t help it.

he made sure to stalk you for a few months before deciding that it was finally the right time to show himself. to introduce himself to you.

he really liked it - talking to you made him happy. his stalking didn’t stop right there. he got more obsessed with you. he fell in love harder.

so when he saw someone flirting with you, he almost lost his patience.

after that small incident, he decided to get closer to you even more. everything went well for him. he just could tell that you too, were slowly falling for him. he liked your flustered face a lot.

“y/n-san, you’re so cute when you’re all shy,” he chuckled as he continued to wash the dishes. “all right, you two lovebirds. please spare us from whatever that is going on between you two,” usopp perched, sighing heavily as he watched the two of you.

“leave them be. it’s the only way the pervert cook would stay quiet,” zoro butts in. his words made sanji glared at the green-head but he didn’t say a word. this only made zoro smirked in response.

you said your goodbyes to the boys before making a beeline towards your bedroom. you sat on your bed, sighing heavily. “what’s got you so down, y/n?” nami asked, raising one of her eyebrows. you looked at her and smiled tiredly. “it’s nothing, really. i just felt like i’m being watched lately. when i’m sleeping or just relaxing... it’s getting to me,” you said in a distress tone.

“you should go and see a doctor. maybe it’s because you’ve been tired lately. ask them if they could give you sleeping pills,” nami recommended. “yeah, i might just do that,”

“well,” nami clapped her hands together and smiled. “thank you for having us for over, we had fun,” she smiled before getting out of your bedroom. you lie down in bed, sighing before your eyes drift shut.

after everyone had left, sanji was the only one who stayed behind. he is your boyfriend after all. he wanted to make sure that you’re safe.

he sat on your bedside, brushing your hair out of your face. he smiled gently at you, caressing your cheek in a gentle manner. “when will you acknowledge the fact that i’m the only one who can love you like this...”

“i’m the only one who can keep you safe and happy...”

#op sanji #black foot sanji #black leg sanji #sanji #sanji x reader #sanji x you #vinsmoke sanji x y/n #vinsmoke sanji x you #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #one piece character #one piece #one piece fanfiction #one piece scenario #oneshot

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betterfettered · 2 years ago

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Imagine this, Soft Yandere Diavolo and Soft Yandere Lucifer with soft, obedient, sweet, and emotional but accepting MC. Like, both demons are craving something or someone in their relationship, the feelings for MC were always there but they never acted upon them. They'll start seeing how sweet and compassionate she is and their feelings will grow and grow until one day they just decide she's theirs, and ultimately she'll be okay with it. Whenever she stays at HoL, she only listens to and obeys Lucifer. Mammon gambles too much? MC tells Lucifer. Beelzebub destroys the kitchen in his search for food? MC tells Lucifer. MC tells Lucifer any thing and everything. If she's with Diavolo? Screw his princely duties, they're together constantly. Lucifer, MC, And Diavolo though..... Poor MC will be sore and tired with them. It's apparent that there's many things that go on behind Diavolo's bedroom doors. :)

Hello friend!! I think this is a really interesting idea. It makes me think of how Lucifer and Diavolo are both kind of the only two people that keep a lid on the general chaos of the other brothers and the rest of the devildom. So once their level of obsession reaches this point, I think that things would start to kind of, fall apart around them? Which will likely have the effect of drawing them closer together as like an oasis in the desert of headaches.

To be honest, I don't see this ending well for MC LOLLLL. Firstly, there are some really powerful/high status demons that I dont think would tolerate Diavolo totally abandoning is princely duties and things getting chaotic, like Mephistopheles and Barbatos. Barbatos in particular is who I'd be worried about, because he's arguably more powerful than even Diavolo is and so I don't think it would be hard for him to get rid of you and then (over many years probs) convince Diavolo to focus again on ruling the kingdom. He's more likely to do this covertly and in the background so you wouldn't even suspect him until it's too late hahaha

On the other hand, as we see all the time in the game, the brothers can't really, like, survive without Lucifer holding them together. One of the brothers may decide to get rid of you (cough belphie cough) but actually I think its more likely that Lucifer decides to distance himself on his own will. He has the level of self control to do it and loves his brothers enough to sacrifice his own happiness in that way when he sees how they are suffering.

So our sweet cutie pie MC will either get got or get their heart broken LOLLL the threesomes were probably worth it though ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

#betty fetty #yandere x reader #yandere lucifer #yandere diavolo

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theslasherslut · 1 year ago

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Please part 2

https://www.tumblr.com/theslasherslut/724582120715059200/i-had-an-idea-and-it-changed-roles-where-yandere?source=share

The Fabric Mistake - Part 2

A/n: Sorry I didn't post this earlier. I have school

---

You woke up with a throbbing headache and a blurry vision. You tried to move, but you felt something restraining your arms and legs. You looked down and saw that you were tied to a bed with ropes. You felt a surge of panic and fear. Where were you? What was happening?

You tried to remember what happened before you blacked out. You recalled meeting Wally Darling, a human who seemed friendly and kind. He said he was a fan of your show, Welcome Home, and that he wanted to take you to his house to 'show' you something. He said he had puppets just like you at home.

You agreed to go with him, thinking he was harmless and maybe even a potential friend. You followed him to his car, which was parked outside the studio where you worked. He opened the door for you and helped you get in. He smiled at you and said he was glad to have met you.

You smiled back, feeling flattered and curious. You wondered what kind of puppets he had at home. Maybe they were like your friends from home, or maybe they were different and unique. You hoped they would be nice and welcoming.

You buckled your seatbelt and looked out the window as Wally started the car. He drove through the city, which looked familiar but different from the one you knew from your dimension. You saw tall buildings, bright lights, and busy streets. You felt a mix of awe and confusion.

Wally noticed your expression and chuckled. "You like it?" he asked. "This is my city. It's not as colorful or cheerful as yours, but it has its own charm."

You nodded, trying to be polite. You didn't really like his city. It seemed cold and dull compared to yours. You missed your home, where everything was made of fabric and felt soft and warm.

Wally continued to talk as he drove. He told you about his life, his job, his hobbies. He said he loved puppets ever since he was a kid, and that he collected them from all over the world. He said he watched your show every day, and that he was your biggest fan.

You listened to him, feeling flattered but also uneasy. He seemed too obsessed with puppets, especially with you. He kept complimenting you on your appearance, your voice, your personality. He said you were perfect, beautiful, adorable.

You thanked him for his kind words, but you also felt uncomfortable. You didn't know him well enough to receive such praise. You barely knew anything about him, except that he was a human who loved puppets.

You wondered how long it would take to get to his house. You hoped it wouldn't be too far away. You wanted to see his puppets, but you also wanted to get back to your portal as soon as possible. You had things to do tomorrow, and you didn't want to miss it.

You looked at the clock on the dashboard and saw that it was getting late. It was already past nine o'clock at night. You felt tired and sleepy.

"Hey, are we there yet?" you asked Wally.

He smiled and nodded. "Almost there," he said. "Just a few more minutes."

He turned left at an intersection and drove into a quiet neighborhood. You felt a bit more relaxed. The neighborhood looked nice and safe. There were rows of houses with well-kept lawns and gardens.

"Where are we going?" you asked curiously.

Wally smiled and pointed to a house on the right. "That's my house," he said proudly. "It's not much, but it's cozy and comfortable."

You looked at his house and felt a pang of dread. His house looked old and creepy. It had a bright red paint, a blue roof, and a cracked driveway. The windows were covered with curtains, blocking any view inside.

You wondered why he chose such a house. It didn't match his personality or his city. It looked like it belonged to another era.

He parked the car in front of his house and got out.

He opened your door and reached for your seatbelt.

"Come on," he said softly. "Let's go inside."

He unbuckled your seatbelt and lifted you up in his arms.

You felt his grip tighten around your body.

You felt scared and helpless.

You wanted to scream, but you couldn't.

He carried you into his house.

He locked the door behind him.

He took you to his house.

He took you to his hell.

#wally darling #welcome home arg #wally darling x reader #wally x reader #wally x y/n #welcome home #wally x you #yandere

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pedroscurls · 2 years ago

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Title: One Drunken Night (Part 2.)

CHAPTER TITLE: Back to Normal

Character(s): Negan (pre-apocalypse), Joel Miller (pre-apocalypse, au), Reader (third-person POV), Lucille Summary: After their fun and unforgettable night together, Reader and Negan go back to their normal lives, but it seems like the universe is trying to keep them together. Word Count: 1,794 Author's Note: So, as you can tell from my recent reblogs, I am obsessed with Joel Miller and Pedro Pascal, so this story will now include him (cross-over). Ahhh, I’m so excited for you all to read what’s in store for this story! Enjoy. Warning: None.

(GIF Source: @jdmorganz)

Negan

The following morning, Negan awoke in a conflicting mood. He felt great, especially after last night’s events, but he was feeling an intense amount of guilt. While he was still riding his high from last night, he immediately felt regret when he caught a glimpse of Lucille walking into the kitchen.

He couldn’t believe that he had cheated on her and he wasn’t sure that telling her was a good idea. So instead, he decided to keep it to himself. Besides, it only happened once and it wasn’t going to happen again.

“Are you even listening?” Negan heard Lucille say.

“I’m sorry baby, what?”

Lucille sighed. “Got too drunk last night?”

Negan let out a heavy breath. He didn’t want to argue again, especially not this early. “Well, it seemed like you didn’t want me here, so what was I supposed to do?”

“Do you even– You know what, nevermind.”

“No, what is it? What is your problem with me, Lucille?”

“If you have to ask that, then it really shows that you think there’s nothing wrong with our marriage.”

Negan shook his head and stood from the stool he was sitting on at their island counter. He looked down at Lucille, holding a cup of coffee in his hand. “I’m tired of fucking fighting, Lucille, so before we start yelling at each other again, I’m just going to walk away right now.”

Lucille scoffed. “I’ve gotta get to work anyway.”

Negan sighed. “Lucille–”

“Bye, Negan.” No kiss. No hug. No “I love you”. Lucille instead walked to the garage and slammed the door shut behind her, causing Negan to flinch at the abrupt, loud sound.

Negan tightened his jaw, running a hand over his face. “Fucking hell.” He felt like shit. A shitty husband. A shitty person. An overall failure. His marriage with Lucille used to be great; they were both so head over heels in love with each other and now, neither of them could stand to be in the same room with each other. At least not without an inevitable yelling match.

It was only a matter of time before Lucille decided to leave him and file for divorce. It was too late to salvage their marriage, so Negan was just bracing himself for what was to come. It made him sad to think about separating from Lucille and despite their constant arguments, he still wanted her to be happy.

He knew he wasn’t making her happy and nothing he did was ever enough either. If he had to let her go for her to be happy, then he would do it. Negan still loved Lucille and if she decided she didn’t want to be with him anymore, then he wasn’t going to stop her.

Lucille deserved to be happy and it was obvious that he was only making things worse.

---

Reader

Y/N awoke that morning feeling very satisfied. She wasn’t usually the type of woman to have one night stands, but even she had needs that needed to be tended to. Once her date stood her up, she didn’t have any expectation that she was going to end up going home with an absolute stranger. A sexy stranger, but a stranger nonetheless.

“Negan,” she mumbled to herself. “What a unique name.” She sighed, biting her lower lip as she imagined the same man from last night. The leather jacket, the dimples, the deep voice… He was amazing and it was no wonder why she was attracted to him; she always did have a thing for older men so she wasn’t sure why she was trying to go on dates with men her age.

However, her mind then drifted to the man she had an insane crush on. She sighed. He was so out of reach and never showed any interest, but he was so sweet, quiet, and the complete opposite of Negan in terms of personality. He was probably around the same age as Negan and he was just as scruffy, his hair and facial hair tinged with gray. His voice was also deep and inviting, causing her to feel butterflies in her stomach whenever he was nearby.

She was broken out of her reverie when her phone started to ring. She bit her lower lip and picked it up, hearing his voice on the other end of the line.

“Mornin’,” he said. “Are you still up for coffee?”

“Good morning to you too, Joel.” She blushed, just even hearing his voice made her insides tingle. “Oh, yeah yeah. Give me twenty?”

Joel smiled. “Fun night last night?”

Her mind drifted to Negan. “You can say that. I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon, darlin’.”

Y/N had met Joel over a year ago and while their friendship grew overtime, she had the biggest crush on him and it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide it. She knew Joel wasn’t interested in dating, especially not after losing his daughter. He had opened up to her one night and since then, Joel knew he could trust her. Their coffee meet ups happened frequently; it was a weekly occurrence and Joel looked forward to it every week. She brought out a side of him that he thought was long gone.

But Joel knew he couldn’t pursue her. He knew Y/N deserved better than him anyway. He was damaged goods and he didn’t think he could make her happy, so he decided to settle on being her friend. It pained him to hear her talk about various men she met or even spent the night with because he had wished it was him, but he knew it was better this way.

He didn’t want to end up disappointing her like he did everyone else.

Twenty minutes later, Joel was sitting at a table, waiting for Y/N to arrive. She usually wasn’t late so he had to wonder how her night went last night. He was just about to call her to ask where she was when he noticed her walking in.

“Hey, I’m so sorry I’m late.”

Joel flashed her a small smile and pushed her cup of coffee in her direction. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

Y/N smiled, taking a sip of her coffee and goraning at the taste. “I really needed this. Thank you, Joel.”

“Figured you’d need it.” He sipped from his own cup, looking in her direction. Joel found her to be so beautiful, so captivating, but he knew he couldn’t do anything about it, so he admired from afar, determined to not make it so obvious.

“You got work this morning?” Joel heard her ask.

He nodded, running a hand over his bear. “Yeah. With Tommy.”

Y/N was used to Joel being a man of few words, but while he didn’t say a lot, his eyes were so expressive. So, she noticed a slight roll of his eyes at the mention of his brother, hinting at annoyance and dread.

“Oh, why that face?” She laughed. “Tommy isn’t all that bad.”

Joel scoffed. “He’s just gonna be talkin’ about his new girl, Maria.”

“Sounds like he’s in love,” Y/N smiled.

“And I’m happy for him, but he’s been naggin’ me to get out there and date too. Somethin’ about finding my own happiness or whatever.”

Y/N felt herself get excited at the thought of going out with Joel. Maybe this was a good thing; Tommy was pushing Joel to start dating and this meant she might at least have a chance. Since meeting Joel, she had developed a crush that she had to push aside. He never really did show any interest towards her, or any woman, but Y/N was still holding onto hope.

Maybe one day.

“He sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.”

He shook his head and scoffed once more. “Me? Love? You’ve gotta be jokin’. Besides, I like bein’ alone.”

Her excitement and hope slowly began to fade. She didn’t know how to cross that line of being just friends with him, but she knew she wanted more.

“Oh, come on. Everyone deserves love, Joel.”

“Not me. ‘M fine with the way things are,” he replied quickly.

Before Y/N could reply, she caught a glimpse of the same man from last night. The heat between her legs became noticeable, serving as a reminder of last night’s events. When their eyes met, Negan smirked, flashing his dimples and sending a wink in her direction. Before she knew it, he was walking over to their table with such confidence and charisma that Joel even noticed that her attention was elsewhere.

“Well, fancy running into you. Good morning, doll.”

Y/N bit her lower lip, his voice causing her insides to tingle that she forgot Joel was sitting across from her. “Negan…”

He grinned, running his tongue across his lower lip. “Looks like the universe is trying to send us a message.” Negan winked, referring to what she said last night about their hook up being only a one time thing.

“That or you’re following me,” she quipped. Y/N tried to keep her resolve, but was finding it increasingly difficult to do so with Negan standing near her and Joel sitting across from her. She didn’t want to bring up last night, especially not in front of Joel, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Negan. The events of last night flashing through her mind and she was, surprisingly, yearning for more.

“You gonna introduce me to your friend, darlin’?” Joel asked, bringing her out of her reverie.

She looked over at him and nodded, clearing her throat. “Sorry. This is– Um, this is Negan.”

Joel stood from the table to face Negan. He was shorter, but was by far more muscular and thicker than the other man. Negan was tall and slender, and the smirk on his face irritated Joel and he didn’t know why.

Both men were complete opposites.

Negan was loud and confident.

Joel was quiet and reserved.

And Y/N wanted both of them.

“Negan, this is my– This is Joel.”

Negan arched a brow, catching the way she stuttered when introducing the man in front of him. He looked over at Joel, maintaining that smirk. He could tell he was getting under the other man’s skin and Negan liked it, enjoyed it rather. It was obvious to him that Joel had a thing for Y/N.

Y/N looked between both men, her mind immediately going to inappropriate thoughts.

Though, it was Joel who stuck his hand out first.

“Nice to meet ‘ya.”

Negan ran his tongue along the top of his teeth and reached out to shake Joel’s hand with a firm, tight grip. “Yeah, good to meet you too, Joel.”

---

Part 3.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged!): @kaitebugg03, @a-girl-interupted

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1d1195 · 3 months ago

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I LITERALLY SPENT ALL DAY READING HONEY DURING ALL MY FREE TIME AND UGHHHH☹️🫶🫶🫶🫶 THEYRE SOOOOO CUTE my goodness when he went down in the towel, PLS SHES SO MUCH STRONGER THAN ME I WOULDVE FOLDED FASTER THAN A LAWN CHAIR✋

I WAS SO SCARED THEY WERE GOING TO TAKE BABY CECE🥺 but MC was too smart for them so ofc not. THE HALLUCINATING ??? AND HIM BEING THE REASON SHE GOT OUT ???😭😭😭 GOSH i can imagine her telling him that after some time and he just…. bawls. because that is SO precious. AND HOW SHE KNEW IN SOME WAY THAT HE WAS CLOSE BY UGHHHH

IM PRETTY SURE I GOT THAT PAPER KITES SONG RECOMMENDED TO ME ON APPLE MUSIC BECAUSE OF PAINT AND HOW MUCH IVE LISTENED TO IT SINCE U SENT IT SO I KNEW I HAD TO SHARE, SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <3333

(i know EXACTLYYYY what you mean. like, i can love a song and listen to it all the time but the second i hear something too much on the radio its just…no. HAHAHA. ALSOOOO THERE IS DEF SOMETHING ABT HIS SONG LET IT GO BECAUSE I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING)

honestly i don’t even know, everyone is probably so done with me and my bs. i don’t want to sound ungrateful because things are so awesome but i just have NOT been feeling myself here at all. i don’t want to go out anywhere or see anybody, im so done with being perceived😭 the people we know are just wayyy to judgy, talking to them is literally draining. i’m always soooo tired, for some reason my hormones are different here and i went through the. ABSOLUTE. WORST. PMS-ING. LIKE… TERRIBLE. and things with my dad are :/// (when are they not though pfftt) i feel like my days are the same?? the only thing that changes are my outfits but i have this weird feeling like my life is on pause when it should be the opposite. i’m feeling veryyyy nostalgic for fall-winter last year.

i LOVE enjoying the little things, it really does make your day-to-day life just a little better. shifting your closet is soooo cool girl, i feel like you just get to enjoy the different times of year more wholly, you know ? COFFEE HERE IS TERRIBLE IM SO JEALOUS I MISS MY DAILY ICED COFFEE😭😭 and gilmore girls is ALWAYS right🫶 i hope you find time to read soon, other than a fanfic here and there i haven’t been reading either, i brought a bunch of books with me that are literally just sitting on a shelf. BUT I 100% GET WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT READING A CERTAIN PART OF A BOOK JUST TO FEEL SOMETHING, i am unfortunately VERY guilty of this😞🫣 wishing you and your book boyfriends a very happily ever after 😉 AHH NOT A WEDDING😭😭😭 HAHAHA i do hope you end up having a ton of fun tho. and is it just me, or is there always a certain, something in the air when it reaches this time of year?? just a different kind of craziness than the rest of the year.

you are an absolute sweetheart and I WANTED TO TELL YOU, MY SISTER ABSOLUTELY ADORED LOVE & OTHER WORDS. LIKE, SHE WAS OBSESSED WITH IT. and i was all “omg yeahhh a friend recommended it to me☺️😌” BECAUSE WE AREEE FRIENDS !!!

i think the ranting got a lil out of hand so i’m sorry about that but THANK YOU FOR BEING SO AWESOME AND FUN TO TALK TO, IM SENDING YOU ALLLLL THE LOVE, MWAHHHHH

~🎶

Ma'am you give me some of the best ideas for check-ins. MAKING HARRY BAWL HIS EYES OUT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PAST TIMES. She's way stronger than me, I would have pulled that towel clean off and had a different kind of breakfast.

Idk how many hours it's been but I haven't moved on from this Paper Kites song, I'll check back in when I move onto Gregory and James.

Things can be going well and you can still feel out of sorts. I really struggle with going out and being social. I have a pretty small social battery. Also dads are the worst more often than not. I'm convinced. My bf was telling my best friend some stories about some of my rage fits I've had in the past (they still happen but they're not as bad as of late) and I'll tell you exactly what (WHO) the common denominator was in each story. Are you still out of the country at this point? Will you be coming back home soon(ish)? I honestly feel like you're homesick, maybe? Being on pause is difficult. It adds to the drained feeling. Hopefully something changes so you can get back into the swing of things and start feeling less stuck 💕

My sister did a semester abroad in europe and I know europe specifically is weird about ice. Or maybe I'm just INSANE (obvi) because I love ice so much. I want my drink cold. I probs use more ice than liquid but I don't even care. ANYWAY. Upon reading more of your message, I kind of feel like you're going through iced coffee withdrawals and if you had one all your emotions would be cured (I hope you're reading this sarcastically because of course I'm joking because I know it's more than that, but I'm hoping you know what I mean). I'm almost certain coffee fixes everything.

Me and my book bfs will def live happily ever after. The -ber months are so busy. It's insane. There's def something in the air.

I LOVE THAT SHE LOVED IT AND OF COURSE WE'RE FRIENDS 💕 I sincerely think it's one of the best books I've ever read. I had an idea to write about Harry based off it. Maybe one day. It's lost to the drafts along with a 100 other things I want to write 😭

This is a ranting blog and there's no such thing as out of hand. I'm so happy to hear from you. I was missing you so much 💕

xoxo

#honey #🎶

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nokaru · 6 months ago

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Friend! Do you have any songs that remind you of Umihebi and/or Torou, together or individually??

Oh my darling you have no idea...sorry this took so long I got tired ahhh

I made this playlist ages ago, it's still in my drafts here too - never got around to actually posting it BUT it's here! I dub thee UmiTorou playlist: toxic gfs commiting crimes

I'll go about this the same way I would with other playlist posts so here are selected few with some commentary and lyrics ^^ putting it under read more

girl in red - You Stupid Bitch

Don't bite your lip or grit your teeth Just count to ten and try to breathe You stupid bitch, can't you see The perfect one for you is me?

need i say more? this is so UmiTorou. I see this song from Torou's pov, trying to chat up Umihebi after there was something between them already. (bonus points for girl in red and the beat)

Beabadoobee - The Perfect Pair

You ought to know that I think we're one and the same I don't think we could help it No, I don't think we could help it We don't talk much Guess 'cause nothing has changed And I'm not sure I like it And I'm so tired of fighting

perfect pair they sure are, also Beadadoobee's voice is giving UmiTorou if they were lo-fi. Something about being obviously bad for each other but also so so perfect for this one person only.

AURORA - Cure For Me

I run from the liars, the fuel on the fire I know I created myself I know I can't fight the sad days and bad nights But I never asked for your help

You got hurt No, we don't belong together So you took the love from my arms Into the arms of yours But I don't need a cure for me I don't need it

This one reminds me more of Umihebi and Torou individually (but also as a couple) - esp the "I created myself" line. I love evil women and implications they are the way they are because of nobody than themselves. No man involved for backstory, I am who I am because I chose this kinda deal.

The Brobecks - Visitation of the Ghost

You think that I don't know your game A pretty, pretty, pretty little face Despite every book and every little kiss you took She'll take your place

Umihebi to Torou, while they still danced around each other like they are not obsessed with each other sigh.

CRAWLERS - Come Over (again)

Take her name out of your mouth You don't deserve to mourn You just love the attention Or do you get bored? You like the power you have Hope you get caught in the law Do you think that you're happy? Just wait 'til you're sure

This is actually one of my Umihebi character songs cause it fits perfectly with my OCs and their relatioship with Umi + Umi origins. Basically Umihebi getting kicked around for her arrogant behaviour part 1

Mitski - A Pearl

You're growing tired of me You love me so hard and I still can't sleep You're growing tired of me And all the things I don't talk about Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch It's just that I fell in love with a war Nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night Just to watch it glow Every night, baby, that's where I go

UmiTorou rocky relatioship 0.2, they are both complicated people (one more than the other) and they just CAN'T talk about it. Over their dead bodies.

The Dresden Dolls - My Alcoholic Friends

I'm trying hard Not to be ashamed Not to know the name Of who is waking up beside me Or the date, the season or the city But at least the ceiling's very pretty Should I choose a noble occupation? If I did I'd only show up late and sick And they would stare at me with hatred Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends

Torou song right there!! Yes, maybe a bit cheesy but just listen to it...its so Torou and Obi coded. While Obi might have chosen the noble occupation, Torou (mind you not inherently evil) can't see herself as anything else than what she is now. She won't let go of her current life, just the thought of losing the freedom of it makes her sick.

Epic the Musical - My Goodbye

You are reckless Sentimental at best That's not a teaching of mine You've grown soft Your dead friends can attest Put your emotions aside You're a warrior Meant to lead the rest I don't know where I went wrong But I warned you And you failed the test

Umihebi getting kicked around by my OC for development part 2 (after getting arrested !!gone physical!! :0)

Chappell Roan - Pink Pony Club

I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee Hear Santa Monica, I swear it's calling me Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream God, what have you done?

this became crazy Umihebi centric so this one is purely Torou song. I mean Chappell was made for her come on now...why Pink Pony Club? It's the vibes + my wife iilfal's fanfic about Torou's backstory (tho only vaguely). Also the line "I'm gonna keep on dancing" is so Torou and her lay-back personality. She would be the bomb in any club.

#thank u for the ask beloved youre the best #ask #playlist #umitorou #umihebi #torou #ans #sorry i started ranting oops #gonna maintag this cause it deserves it #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #im insane about them #to understand my vision u must be on a same wavelength

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teddybeartoji · 6 months ago

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omg no wait bc you and higu would be so cute i actually wanna hear all about it. i think he would benefit from a little silly and you certainly could fulfill that role!!! im actually obsessed..... pls share any thoughts you have 🤲

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODD!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEE HII PERCE MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE SUCH AN ANGELLL AAAAHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR INDULGING ME ON THISSS HEHEHEHEHHE:33333

SOOO ME AND HIGUUUU😭😭😭 this is a bit silly bc it's not like a real Real selfship yet okay... i don't actually know him all that well so i don't feel like i can yk officially make it into one but you just wait........ it'll become real soon enough..............

OKOKOK SO WE ALL HAVE TO SAY A BIG THANK U TO MY FRIEND ARI @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat BC THEY KIND OF PUSHED ME INTO THAT😭😭😭 i think we were just talking about who of the new character i'd love and then they said that higu would definitely be one of the faves and well.. i am not disagreeing at all he seems so fucking funny and just an absolute sweetheart!!!!!!!!!!!!!! soooo my friend brought up the idea of me being like an intern at his law firm and............................ i folded immediately what can i say. (btw this got so long. uhm. prepare yourself?)

so imagine mickey the errand boy and higu the lawyer man:33 it all starts out super fucking slow btw (every single one of my ships is a slowburn what the fuck anyway). i am very excited to be there,, i think this sort of a job is very perfect for me aaand i think he'd find my enthusiasm very.. interesting lmao in a good way!!!! bc yk who the fuck is excited abt printing out papers and shit??!!! mee:3333

he always tells me that i can go home (cough that i can go home on time.. cough) but i refuse!!!!!!! how am i gonna leave him here all alone smhhh so i always help him finish everything he needs to get done (or at least everything i can help with yk?) aand then we go to this burger place that's just like around the corner to finally eat something and aaah idk it just feels very good with him. like very casual. the first like ten to twenty minutes are usually spent in silence just bc we're both tired and just wanna gulp down our food,, but when we're done with those.. we're talking abt the silliest stuff!!!!!!!!!! he tells me abt his cats. i know he has them ok. canon. in my head. he has two. their names are corkscrew and matilda. (????????????????)( don't ask) he tells me abt how they seems to like to tussle a lot and it makes him a bit nervous bc what if they don't get along but then they're cuddling a minute later and wheww it's all good. i love listening to him ramble btw. it's not like he does that all too often, but when he's tired he kind of spitballs a bit more and i think it's very endearing:333

and then he ofc apologizes for said ramble while tugging on his tie to loosen it up a little. he's so hot. anyway. and then he almost BEGSSS for me to talk to him too. about anything. it's very hard to feel insecure about talking too much with him bc he literally keeps telling me that he loves listening to me....................... perce what if i die

i'm making this other thing ari talked abt canon too bc oh my god their brain is huge. sooo one day. higu is late to work. and he's never late??????? had me thinking that he literally fucking dies or smth yk??? like he wouldn't answer his phone and it was just pouring outside omfg i was so fucking worried. pacing around the office, just calling him again and again and again. and then the door opens and there he is!!!!!!!!!!! COMPLETELY DRENCHEDDDDD like from head to toe, holding his coat weirdly of over his head and body idk he looked so silly (and cute). he apologized to some of the other workers before meeting my gaze and hurrying over and before i could even ask anything,, he opens his coat aND CAT!!!!!!!!!! HE HAD A FUCKING KITTEN???????? IN HIS HANDS?????????????????????????????????? HELLO???????????????????????????????? SIR????????????????????????

and then he literally just handed me the little critter asking whether i could look after it while he's working?????????????????? i was just so baffled bc wHAT. but i obviously took that task very seriously. i tried to clean up the kitty and made him like a make-shift bed from my own hoodie. and then after he got himself a cup of coffee (btw he spent almost no time on drying himself oh my god he's a bit of a loser isn't he...)(he has my heart<3) aaaaaand when he finally sat down behind his desk and looked through the glass wall...

and he just saw me holding the bundled up little kitty to my face while i just stare at it. HE WAS JUST SO CUTE OK I NEEDED TO JUST LOOK AT IT FOR SOME TIME I LOVE CATS OK!!!!!!!!!! that made him smile though. bc he loves cats too:333 btw we just send each other cat pics too. like very randomly. he's just a room away and he's sending them to me instead of just.. idk coming over to my table to show them to me in person??? he's a workaholic ok. ahgsahgshasga i love himmmm

OKOK ANYWAY THIS IS LIKE SO MUCH INFO I'M SORRY FOR THE WORDVOMIT LMAO but i really really do like him and this little thing i have going on with him... we're still in a weird little zone between coworkers and friends and ????????????? but we're both okay with that we're not pushing anything we just do whatever feels comfortable<333333333

BUT WAHHH THANK YOU AGAIN FOR INDULGING ME ON THIS PERCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SMOOCHING YOU SO VERY HARD RN HEHEHEHHEEE!!!!!!! I HOPE UR HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER MY LOVE!!!!!!!

#AND THANK YOU ARIIII #literally owe u my life btw #damn #AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH HE'S SOOO FUNN #HE'S SUCH A SILLY LITTLE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!#i really think i'd get to impress him by being the most perfect morning person too lmao #ahgsghashgahshgaghasa #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm still thinking abt the shipname though #miromi or mihigu.....#damn i think i kinda like miromi more idk it's cuter????#ILYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#MWAH MWAH MWAHHH!!!!!!!!!#perce <3 #friends!!#miromi

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likeadevils · 1 year ago

Text

2010 Lover Diaries Transcripts

Feb 13, 2010- Adelaide, Australia

My horoscope said today someone new is going to come into the picture and change my life in an exciting way. PLUS, it’s the 13th. So it has to be true. Right? Right? Well, I don’t see it happening in the form of meeting someone. Maybe I’ll get an email or a call from someone fantastic and life changing. Or maybe I won’t. That’s more likely. I’ve been obsessing over the new album. I always do that until it’s just right. I don’t know if I have the formula just right for this one yet. I know there are great songs. I just need to figure out the strands that bond them together into a great album. And I will obsess until it’s there. This album, any album, is the next 2 years of my life. It has to be more than amazing. It has to be great enough to keep my attention for 2 years.

Apr 13, 2010- Nashville, TN

So I’ve been obsessing over the new record to the point where it’s all I can focus on. I’m majorly stressed and borderline losing it, with all these lists and chronic dissatisfaction. Perfectionist-ness. I keep growing tired of songs because I know I’ve raised the bar and I can beat half the songs. Scott and I had lunch the other day. We were talking about the record and I had this epiphany. I didn’t talk in interviews about how I felt about much of what has happened in the last 2 years. I’ve been silent about so much that I’m saying on this album. It’s time to Speak Now. Scott freaked out. He loved it. We have a title, ladies and gentlemen!

Jun 2010

Long Live Lyrics

Jun 16, 2010- Nashville, TN

So I’ve been a little studio rat since the tour ended (and it ended oh so beautifully in front of 55,000 screaming fans at Gillette Stadium. It was just … wow). Ever since, I wake up to my cell phone alarm around 9:30 each morning. Throw on a sundress, skip make up, tie my hair in a messy side braid, and head out the door with no shoes on. Because the only walking outside I’ll be doing is from my house to my car, then from my car, three steps to Nathan’s basement studio. The CMT Awards were last week. I shocked the world and straightened my hair that night. Gasp!! I worked on a song for a few days, then basically finished it in the car on the way to Nathan’s this morning. It. Is. So. Good. And I can safely say I am DONE writing this record!! This song is up-tempo, and hooky and sort of torn-sounding … like this horrible stressed confusion that comes on when you knew the person you’re pining away for is in the room. And for some reason, there are these invisible walls keeping things from being ok. So you’re not fine. And they’re not fine. And I’m so happy I wrote that song!! :) Taylor

Aug 29, 2010

Speak Now Tour Ideas Themes for set: - whimsy/vintage/boudoir fantasy - velvet maroon/magenta, purple/rich color fabrics forming a tent/curtain roof above stage - bird cages hanging - antique gold frames - snowy winter scene for back to december [drawing of stage with ‘screen’ 'fabric’ and 'drums’ labeled] - maybe be lowered in a painting for opening - recreate a church for Speak Now - intro video with my mouth/lips close up

Oct 9, 2010- Nashville, TN

Today was a long day but it was great to get all of that stuff done-- The Grand Ole Opry performance was tonight. The Opry was just reopened and the backstage is AMAZING now. Since the flood, they redid everything. Every room is custom and chic and just lovely. Warm and well thought out. I walked to Starbucks this morning with my headphones on, listening to music. Music has helped me a lot lately. It helps me quiet my very loud fears. I love mornings like that, smiling and talking to strangers, waving to fans and they burst into tears and screams... All before noon. I drove to the Opry around 3 because I had to do some video interviews. I wore a sparkly cream dress for my performances, my first one was at 8, the second at 10. I preformed You Belong, Love Story, and a solo acoustic version of Mine. That got excellent response. It almost turns into a different song when its acoustic. I got applause several times throughout the song. I was more nervous on the first show. I get stagefright every time I walk onto a stage now. I wish it wasn't so, but I can't blame my mind for freaking about performances. Criticism of my performances has been the biggest source of pain in my life. I Sometimes feel like my college degree is in acting like I'm ok when I'm not. Taylor <3

(2003 • 2004 • 2005 • 2006 • 2007 & 2008 • 2009 • 2010 • 2011 • 2012 • 2013 • 2014 • 2015 • 2016 & 2017)

#lover diaries*#note: dates and place names are from my notation not taylors #and i didnt transcribe the specific lyrics bc the formatting was giving me a headache #so go to taylorpictures.net if you want those

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sofarsoundsne · 9 months ago

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Interview with Nico Dey

Could you introduce yourself and who influences your music? "My name is Nico Dey, I'm a French Singer-Songwriter and Guitarist. I was born in Paris and raised in a French-American family where I've been mostly influenced by Classic Rock music such as The Beatles, the Stones, Elvis or Fleetwood Mac.

I remember hearing around 4 years old the album Rubber Soul and was obsessed by it, listening to it on repeat on my small cassette radio, especially the song Michelle which has French and English lyrics.

My dad was a classic piano player and got me into learning but it's only later at 12 years old that I started to learn guitar after hearing the album 'In Utero' by Nirvana.

I have a large palette of influences but I would say the main ones so far were Neil Young, Cream of Eric Clapton, Jack White, the Stone late 60's period and Nick Cave.

Having listened to a lot of blues and rock music from the 50's to late 70's, my ear eventually got a bit tired of it and I still feel very connected to some 90's music (being born in 93') such as Jeff Buckley, Brian Jonestown Massacre or Soundgarden.

In the end, all I'm looking for is to write songs that feel true to me and original. I would never be able to focus only on one style of music."

What are the hits you are most proud of? "In my First EP, 'Corpse Of Kimbro', I am very proud of this song 'Hot Honey'. It started out as a late night jam home alone on my guitar, a wha pedal and a drum machine. I hear a mix of various influences such as Classic Rock, Psychedelic and even Grunge music. All the layers I put in together and recording it live with my band ended up being an epic piece of music. I also spent a lot of energy writing different ideas of lyrics and melodies on this one with my best friend Shawn Haas who I've been writing with for years now."

Who are currently your three favourite artists? "Currently, I've been listening a lot to Jeff Buckley, John Prine and Leonard Cohen."

What’s happening or do you hope will happen in your music career? "I hope to build a larger community of fans with time so I can keep focusing on writing songs and make a sustainable living with music.

My plan now is to finish recording my second EP which only has vocals left to get done with and focus at the same time on finishing all the French songs that I'm working on. It matters a lot to me now because I haven't released anything in French so far and I believe my music will be more vulnerable and true to myself as it is my native language."

What song do you think our followers should be listening to right now? "I think they should take the time to listen to the 4 songs of my 1st EP 'Corpse of Kimbro'. Everything has been recorded in the same live room from this Studio called QDS in Paris, France. We were five musicians playing together and it captures a beautiful moment so it makes sense to take the time to listen to it as an album."

#Nico Dey #Sofar Sounds #Sofar Sounds Newcastle #Spotify

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kaerimichirami · 1 year ago

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Sleeping with Scorpions

PART ONE

As far as my silly memory can go back, I keep seeing a lonely, hopeless little girl. It’s something that itches, that aches, that burns. If I move further from that, but still distant to me, I see nothing but withered lilies. I think it all started back in middle school. I was angry at my hair, at my own body, at the changes, at the looks from other people when I wore the girl’s uniform. I was quite intoxicated by what had happened in the past, and I had little to no faith. I knew God, and I despised Her truly. I acknowledged Her, but felt like my life was punishment. It made sense to be a desperate teen. It made sense to listen to a Christian rock band. It made sense to be and to not be me. I was still a little girl when I wanted to wear more masculine clothes, and now I see myself as a little boy, wanting to wear more feminine clothes. Gender will never make sense to me. Peace will never be found on these lands. My body is as unholy as I am a saint, and I have sinned as much as I have lived, but I’ve never found it fun to be a wreckage.

Me and my partner, M, communicated greatly. I guess it’s normal for some, but suddenly, we would change light topics to more complex ones. And we would stay talking about them for weeks until we got tired of it, and moved onto a new obsession. We were lovers since we knew each other – when I was born, my partner being a few months older than me. Our mothers were best friends, and we grew up together, and there was never anything that could bring us apart. We got married pretty young, and we both wore dresses handmaid by her twin sister. It felt just right. We were two young women, quite hurt by life, but off to a good start. Very soon we started trying for kids, for what we saved since we were 18 years old. It was a dream come true.

We were at our third – and last, as we planned – child. We were mommies. It all made sense. All of our friends were, if not lesbians, sapphics, and it was an environment we were oh-so fond of. My then-wife was much more masculine than me, but occasionally they would put on a dress. I was often jokingly called a ‘trad wife’ by my best friend, because I felt like little dresses with flower stamps looked really cute on me. I never felt like a woman, but I was trying really bad.

M would come to me with their little adventures from time to time. “Love, I was thinking about tattooing my neck.”, M would say. I didn’t oppose to the idea, but I also knew they might grow tired of it, so I suggested them to try a temporary one. One day, though, they came to me late at night, after the kids were already in bed.

“If I turned out to be a guy, would you still be with me?” I had thought of that already. We were everything to each other. As comfortable as I felt under a label, there was more to our relationship than being two women. We were two people. Prior to that, I had felt like being a lesbian was everything that mattered to my identity, but upon that questioning, I didn’t feel like it anymore. I thought for a moment, and then I said: “Of course. I love you more than words and flags. I love you more than T-shirts, bottoms and friends groups. I love you more than what people think of us, and I love you more than what we think of ourselves.”

But that made me want to know why they thought that. “It just happened to me that it could be that. I mean… I don’t know if I am, but more like… I don’t care about gender that much, but I view myself a lot more in a masculine way, than a feminine one. I don’t know why, I just feel that way.”, then, I said bluntly: “But aren’t all women a little upset with being women? Isn’t it at least a lesbian thing of thinking like that?”

“I mean… no. Why? Do you feel that way too, so you’re thinking every woman feels like that?” I nodded, and realized I was wrong. Upon more self-confront and realizations, I said:

“But, M, I’m an author… I’ve written many WLW novels… you’re an artist, you only draw women… we breathe lesbianism. I’d love you, at any time, with anybody, however you are… but does it mean I’m capable of loving myself, if I can’t even be the gender I was assigned to? I’m a mommy to our kids, I wear frilly clothes, and well, I can’t stand heels, but I also don’t feel like my breasts bother me… still, there’s this voice inside, this little creature that is damn tired of this role I’m playing…”

“It feels like I’m not enough. I guess… you feel the same way.”

“If it’s you, I get it, you know I do… but me… I can’t forgive myself, oh God I never will. It’s already so hard, don’t you think it’ll be asphyxiating?”

“Honey, it is already asphyxiating.”

“It is already asphyxiating. Oh, yes, it is. It is so damn asphyxiating. It hurts so much, I think I’ll throw up.”

At the same time, I felt something in my legs. It was slowly climbing me. I looked down at that little fat, short body. There was nothing but the savory realization I was never a cute girl, nor a hot woman, and I also wouldn’t be a hot guy. Oh, I wanted to cry so bad, and M wanted to cry too. We were, once again, lost and hurt. I hated to think where that was going. We didn’t sleep that night. We talked for hours and hours, and then the sun had risen. It was morning again, soon the kids would wake up, and we were newborns ourselves.

Pen, my diary, these little hands.

I wish I had two bodies, two minds, two souls. One could fulfill this wish to be a man and explore it all, and the other could be this failure of a pseudo-woman, persisting. But none can be done to repent me, my punishment is that I have to choose. I either give up on who I am, or I give up on what I try to be. I either am happier, but it's less fun, or I'm sad as ever and it's still not fun. But the truth is, when I'm someone like me, it's so hard to choose between being happy or sad. Maybe that's what I learned from my mother. Maybe that's the gene I inherited from my father. But the mixture I am is chaos, and the feelings I keep inside beg me to stay hurt, so I can have a reason to cry for. Maybe if I wasn't so afraid of myself I wouldn't need this medicine, maybe if I admitted I'd be happier as him, I would then be. But if I pretend to be her for just a little longer, I might get the award I was promised. For being a good girl. For enduring. And it's just one more night, just one more birthday, just one more elementary school year, just one more time when I'm 11. It's just once more that dad is leaving, it's just another fight with mom and when that happens, I'll be crowned a queen. So how can I afford to be a man, if that means I'll be a peasant? If I'm true to myself, it means I lied once, and that is unacceptable. I shall remain quiet, in this little place, it burns inside me, and it hurts so deep whenever I hear my name. But like any other pain, it was given to me by my family, and where is the pride of a woman if not protecting her family jewels. Even if this woman isn't, in fact, one, I have to be. Because if I don't do it, it means I might become free... and that's not allowed here.

Eyes, ears, my soul.

“I want a tattoo as well!”

“Well, you can’t, because you’re 5 years old. You’ll go tired of it… specially if it is a cartoon character, you know?”

“But you have lots of cartoon characters on your body!”

“That’s true, but I’m an adult… and tattoos hurt, they hurt really, terribly. So I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“But why do you do that, then?”

“Because it’s pretty… sometimes, you have to go through pain to become prettier. But that’s not stuff for children like you. Only something grown-ups can commit to.” They were talking about something else, but that stuck with me. Well, we went and got the tattoo. A red dragon. I mean, it looked cool.

I kept feeling all tingly that night. Something was crawling up my leg, I looked at it, and there was nothing. But I was sure I felt it. I just didn’t have the means to tell, even M, my dearest M, because no one would be able to see it. But I felt it. I felt it badly, to the point it gave me a fever.

Phone, 121426, unlock, notepad, pencil icon, keyboard.

I think all of my attempts of finding myself went bad. I wonder… why can’t I be happy? I’ve fulfilled it. I’m successful. I found love. I have money. I have everything I’ve always wanted. But it feels like a crucial part is missing. The joy in being true when telling my name, the happiness in signing a document that’s accurate to me. Oh, I wish family dinners with my mother didn’t go that bad. If I could fix myself… if I only I could inject something into my veins, or go by anything else. Oh, Lord, if I could kill this aching. I try so hard, maybe harder than I should, but if I’m not wearing a dress then who am I. If maybe I was born different I would have never cried these many nights, right? If you gave me the chance, I would be such a good person. I would have never failed, I would have never fallen into this… whatever it is. If there was mercy to me, then I would be alive right now, but I feel nothing but dead. Someone pulled the trigger, I think, maybe it was that part of me I let go of long ago. It hurts deeply, I’m wounded, bleeding. And yet no one can see it. Maybe I should tell M. But I guess our pain is the same. I don’t think it’ll be of any help.

PART TWO

That night I felt it coming even closer to me. Something that kept making my legs itch, something that wanted to wound me so profoundly. Something that didn’t desist, something that was born for that moment, something that wanted to end me. I tried waking M up again and again, but they never did. I couldn’t scream, and even if I did, I guess no one would rescue me. I felt like a kid again. I was so young, but already in my forties. I was such a baby, such a whiner, but I had a full time job that killed me on the inside. I crawled up, I felt it at every inch of my body. Not only one. There were so many of them. Crawling and crawling.

The biggest of them stood face to me. I was only in my pajamas, my hair was messy, my eyes were barely open, and I was so sleepy. Yet, it talked to me. While his peers went up and down on my limbs. Itching. It was almost fun, but terrifying.

“You listen to me.” It said. Was I going crazy? “This life was never supposed to be yours. Not like this. There is no punishment in God’s plan.”

“The one I resent?”

“Certainly. They do not resent you. I have been trying to teach you something, but you’re always so deep asleep. Don’t you care about this itching on your leg?” I thought for a moment. Oh, I cared. But to do something… that’s not easy. I’d have to get up. Maybe call someone. Maybe fight creatures myself. Maybe look in the mirror. Maybe do something nice for myself. Maybe feel like I’m deserving of having me.

“Then, what do I do? To get rid of the itching is to get rid of what I’m certain of. I don’t know what happens when it stops itching. But if it does itch forever, then I know what’s going to happen tomorrow.” The scorpions all looked at me. I felt M coming closer, holding my hand. Didn’t seem to perceive them or to wake up.

“You’ll be free. Don’t you want to try that?”

“But I will worry. And will get hurt. And I’ll lose people. And things. And love. And clothes. And maybe more.”

“But you’ll find yourself. And who are you taking to the grave if not yourself?” It made me think. Even my lover, I couldn’t take them underground with me. Not my mother or my father. Not anyone else. It was all about me. And I had been denying myself for so long. The real me. “If you take any longer than tonight, the itching will consume you. We’ll enter your mouth, control your brain, possess your soul. Because you’re not making use of yourself. Is that what you want?”

“No… I’ll make the hard choice. I want the itching to stop. So what do I do? What’s the procedure?” The scorpion talking looked at me deep in the eyes, as my voice cracked.

“You accept yourself.”

“But that’s not as easy as pressing a button. There’s no acceptance that can be done on such a short notice! What do I do? What do I do? Do I write about it? What about all the paper cuts? Do I kill you? What about your bodies? Will it all disappear if my desire to be myself is sincere?”

“Certainly. You might not accept yourself fully tonight, but your 1% is what will stop the itching.”

“And the aching?” It nodded. "And the burning inside my chest?” And again. I felt M’s hand holding mine even tighter. “Then, well, I accept whoever I am.” They slowly faded, I think… and I fell into a deep slumber.

I think it was past noon when I woke up. Drooling. Dizzy. Didn’t know where the fuck I was. But something felt different. Inside of me. Outside too. My brain. My blood. My mechanics. My aura. Something or maybe everything about me. It felt like it had changed. I looked around… no signs of scorpions… Nowhere to be found. Maybe I had dreamed… but it felt… oh… I can barely remember how it felt. I got up, went downstairs…

“Oh, we were waiting for you. You were sweating a little when I woke up, I guessed you wanted to sleep longer. Do you have a headache or something?” Oh. It was Saturday. The kids were all there. M was there. Of course, I had thought of this when I was younger, but I needed some more time.

“I’m fine.” I said, quite shyly, but they were smiling at me. I blinked a few times. That was real, right? All of that love. M came closer to me, reached for my hand, kissed me on the right cheek. “Missed ya.” They said. I replied, “me too” with a warm hug.

“I think… we need to talk. It’s something about me, and I hope you’re able to understand this.”

PART THREE

I could still savor the ice creams I loved. And I felt more comfortable in my own skin. The world seemed not easier or harder, but more true. Life felt less like a chore. It could have all ended so bad. I could have been eaten alive. Or exploded in a finite, but hard to count number of little particles. Or maybe I could have stayed the same. I took a good look in the mirror. It was me. Oh. Me. How I missed you. How I regret not have given you everything. But we all have a journey, and mine was to wait. Your little eyes, your big nose, your squishy cheeks… if I could go back in time, maybe I would have done something to prevent all the pain.

But… how me would I be? I’d rather not face it all, but what if I didn’t? Wouldn’t it have been worse? Wouldn’t I end up bad? A bully. An absent parent. A normal, boring person. What if I ended up just like everyone else? The flowers I picked that one spring day, they wouldn’t be on my floral wreath. Oh… if I hadn’t been hurt, I would never have died so peacefully. Maybe life would have been easier, but how can I predict a future that doesn’t even exist, when the present me is the only one capable of getting rid of all the macula.

I breathe in and out, a little more dignified than before. The clothes I wear feel a little more gentle. The smile on my face feels a lot more true. Every time I say something, the words seem more sincere. When I accept or refuse, I feel so much more confident. And M, I’m so blessed for all the times you held my little hands and kissed my swollen lips.

I was never visited by the scorpions again. Never felt that itching on my leg again. My heart ached. My mind pulsed. My hands felt like falling apart. My spine felt like bending. But no scorpions. Not a chance of them. I buried that girl who had so much trouble being herself, and I was reborn. A thousand times happier. A thousand times more me. I didn’t hate her. And I don’t resent her. Or God. Or me. Maybe some people that wronged me. But they have their own itching and scorpions. I’m just happy to not have to sleep with them anymore.

(End of Story)

Author's comment: Hello. It's Sasoris. Part of this story, the 'pen, my diary' part, is actually from my phone notes. I was venting one night, about being trans and all. Now, I understand myself as in the non-binary spec, but I still feel bad I wasn't "born a boy". You know, it hurts. This story was really important to me when I wrote it. The scorpions part, well, it's because I'm a Scorpio, see? I even use them in my pen name. I don't really care about signs, actually. I don't understand them. But a scorpio can be deadly, right? I like the animal because of that. In this story, I think any LGBTQIA+ person can see their own scorpion in a way, but to me, it's like: living being who you aren't, even if it hurts, just because it's expected from you. Maybe you'll be so much happier if you change, but you can't change, because people who claim to love you will only love you conditionally. The scorpions are both the pain and the relief. It's also supposed to be a little supernatural, in a sense. If you're interested in this kind of thing, please consider reading my other story from the glazing a look at my way back home, called 'bye-bye moratorium'.

#queer literature #transgender #transmasc #scorpions #sleeping with scorpions #supernatural #sasoris #glancing my way back home

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years ago

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Cause I'm Yours

Summary: Soulmate AU where each set of soulmates has a song that only they know that kind of explains their love story! What happens when you and Steve start living yours?

Warnings: nothing that I can think of aside from slight angst!

Word Count: 9251

a/n: another fic idea that came to me while listening to music on the way home from work :) The song I used is Secret Love Song by Little Mix! I just ignored the parts about being in love with someone who's already in a relationship anymore lol. Also, we're ignoring the accords and everything that came after in favor of Bucky and everyone living happily together in the tower. I kind of hate this, but I spent so long writing it so here it is.

Masterlist

In pre-school, you were obsessed with the song in your head. Your parents told you it was a secret song that only you and your soulmate knew the words to. Even just the idea of having someone out there who would love you no matter what sounded magical, let alone this song that connected you.

When you started high school, you found out what the song actually meant. Not only were the words known only by you and your soulmate, but they explained your love story. Or at least, a part of it. There's no telling what aspect of- or time within- your relationship the song is about.

Given the lyrics of your song, you were immensely nervous about meeting your soulmate. So much so, in fact, you refused to tell anyone the lyrics to your song, claiming it was meant for you and your soulmate to share together.

Now, as an adult, the song almost never crossed your mind. You had gotten tired of trying to spin it in a more positive light. You have never met anyone else who had a song that was as angsty as yours. We got a love that is hopeless and it'll never be enough just don't scream happy ending. As a teen, you convinced yourself it was just a hurdle you and your soulmate would have to overcome. But with time came experience, and your life experiences definitely weighed down that opinion.

Plus, you were heading into your late twenties and still had no clue who your soulmate could even be. Almost everyone you'd gone to high school and college with already found there perfect person. So, you chose not to think about it. If you ignored it, you could pretend it didn't matter.

From the minute he understood soulmate songs, Steve Rogers hated them. Bucky was the only one who ever understood why. Granted, Bucky was the only one Steve ever told about not having a soulmate song. To Steve's surprise, Bucky confessed he also didn't have a soulmate song. It only made their friendship stronger to both be missing something everyone else seemed to have.

When Bucky fell from the train, Steve figured that must be why he didn't have a soulmate song. So when it came time, and he needed to crash the jet into the ocean, he didn't think twice. It was easier to believe that was why he never had a song. He was destined to die in order to save others. Nobody should be put through losing their soulmate like that. It was better that he didn't have one.

Seventy years later, he woke up. And he had a song.

Meeting the Avengers was definitely a life altering moment for you. The six of them had just saved New York from an alien invasion and now you were working with them. Your experience in public relations made it easy for Pepper Potts and Tony Stark to hire you to manage the public image of the team.

Thankfully, they generally made it easy for you to help them. There was a lot of mess to sweep up, but the whole team was willing to put in the work to help. You became like family to them, always willing to be on call since some of the press you had to handle were in different time zones.

Eventually, Tony offered you a room in the tower. It just made sense to avoid the commute since you spent so much time there anyway. Plus, Tony thoroughly enjoyed being able to tell you to "go to your room" once the workday ended.

That's how you ended up spending so much time with Steve Rogers. Captain America was quite the public figure in the 40s, but the media circus had grown pretty exponentially during his time in the ice. Once he managed to understand you weren't asking him to be a dancing monkey, he actually appreciated all the work you put in to make their lives easier.

Your friendship continued to grow as you spent more time together. Every movie night, you'd sit a little closer together until, eventually, you were cuddled up under the same blanket. You'd invite Steve for lunch during the week, and he'd always bring you to brunch after his Sunday morning runs.

Six months later, Steve officially asked you out. With Wanda's help, he managed to make a completely charming picnic for the two of you in a park near the Brooklyn Bridge. You couldn't remember the last time you smiled so much in a single day. Steve felt exactly the same, feeling for the first time like he was actually beginning to fit into the modern age. Everything was so perfect, you scolded yourself for not seeing the other shoe until after it dropped.

Every website or news channel you looked at had a story of Steve Rogers dating the Avengers' PR rep. Although the two of you had done nothing wrong, the entire country seemed to turn it into some big scandal. Everyone wanted to know if Captain America found his soulmate or just someone to keep his bed warm. The only reason it faded so quickly from the public eye was the emergence of the Winter Soldier.

Steve Rogers being on the run from SHIELD definitely trumped his picnic date in the eyes of the media. The entirety of the weeks events left you a mess in terms of PR, but thankfully everything worked out. Hydra was stopped, and Steve got his best friend back.

Your own relationship with Steve faltered a bit in the months after Bucky's return, but you couldn't bring yourself to be upset with Steve. The situation, sure, but not Steve. He had so much going on with trying to help Bucky remove the trigger words. It took weeks to even find someone who thought they could do it, and that ended up taking the two super soldiers across the world.

He updated the team every few days, but he was so focused on helping Bucky, he didn't actually have much time to talk. Despite the abundance of technology in Wakanda, you'd never felt less connected to Steve.

Your entire schedule was thrown off. You no longer had a go to lunch buddy or Sunday brunch plans. Movie nights got just a bit colder without the body heat from your favorite super soldier. Everything just felt a little bit off.

After seven long months, Steve and Bucky returned to the tower. Unfortunately, your relationship didn't pick up where it left off. Bucky needed time to get acclimated to his new life, and Steve was always willing to be there for him.

Again, you didn't fault Steve for his behavior. How could you? He spent nearly every waking moment trying to help Bucky feel more at home in the tower, but also in the new century they found themselves in.

Just seeing Steve in passing was enough to get your heart racing these days. When you heard the sound of his voice coming from the kitchen, it was like your body involuntarily chose to stop and listen. You were so focused on just hearing him talk that it took a few minutes to actually understand the words.

"You have a song now?" The question gave no indication of how he was feeling in the moment.

"Yeah..." Bucky sheepishly replied. "I don't know when it started. Just, showed up one day, I guess." His tone of voice got lighter with each word he spoke about the song, going so far as to sign a few words. "Be my summer in a winter day, love... You still don't have one?" Despite not knowing him that well, you could hear the hesitation in his voice when he asked the question.

"I... No," Steve sighed. "I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

Everything they said after that went in one ear and out the other. You may not like your song per se, but at least you had one. You had never heard of someone not having a soulmate song before. The thought hadn't even crossed your mind. Everyone had a song...

"Y/N? Are you okay?" Suddenly, Steve and Bucky were in front of you. They must have finished whatever they were doing in the kitchen without you realizing.

"Huh? Oh, um, yeah. Just lost in thought I guess," you laughed.

"Are you sure?" Steve questioned further, looking at you with concern.

"Yeah. I'm good," you smiled, nodding your head as if that would convince him. Before you could turn to walk away, Steve lightly grabbed your hand. Bucky was convincing him to say something, but you had missed the silent glares and nudges in your efforts to pretend you weren't eavesdropping.

"Hey, are you busy later?" he smiled nervously, thumb rubbing across your wrist.

"I don't think so. My last meeting just ended, so it's just wrapping up a few loose ends, and I'm done for the weekend."

"Would you maybe want to have dinner with me?" Steve seemed to notice the shock on your face before you could even comprehend his question. "To catch up, ya know? We haven't been talking much, and I just thought maybe dinner would be nice," he rambled.

"Dinner would be great, Steve." Suddenly, the memory of the media circus that was your last date crossed your mind. Again, Steve must have seen your thoughts on your face.

"I figured we could do something small. Movie night?" Again, his smile betrayed his nerves.

"That's perfect. The usual time?" He nodded his confirmation, his slightly awkward wave goodbye making you smile.

And just like that, it was like things hadn't changed at all... sort of. You and Steve were back to your routine before your date. Movie nights, lunches, Sunday brunch. Sometimes Bucky would tagalong as well. Before long, the two of you were nearly as close as you and Steve.

If anything, seeing Steve with Bucky made you like him more. He just seemed more himself in a way, like having an anchor to his past made it that much easier for him to exist in the present. You were thinking about exactly that when Steve came knocking on your door.

"What's up?" You leaned against the open door, gesturing that he was welcome to come inside. When he took you up on that offer, you swung the door closed and followed him over to your bed. You were a little thrown off by his silence.

"Are you okay?" you asked. He looked at you briefly before averting his gaze, nervously twisting his fingers together. "Steve?" you asked, your concern showing through. You sat next to him, taking one of his fidgeting hands in your own. Your other hand brushed against his cheek, turning him to face you. "What is it?" Your heart was beating so fast, you thought you might explode.

He scoffed at himself, the self deprecation easily showing through. "I don't know why this is so hard for me," he spoke, taking your hand from his cheek in his free one. You wanted to ask what he was talking about, but you didn't want to push. You had a pretty good idea of it already, and it was terrifying.

"Steve..." you said his name with so much affection, he closed his eyes and let it wash over him.

"Y/N..." he returned the sentiment. "I... Would you like to date me?" You stared wide eyed, caught off guard by how straight to the point he was. Steve was a rambler when he spoke about his feelings. His own eyes widened, as if shocked the statement actually came from his lips.

"Dammit! I'm sorry. I had a whole thing planned." He had begun pacing back and forth in front of your bed, leaving you to watch him move back and forth." I was going to tell you how I feel, not just blurt it out. Why can't I ever get one thing-"

"Yes," you answered, cutting off his rambling with a soft smile. His eyes snapped back to yours, a disbelieving look on his face.

"Yes?" he questioned. You nodded in response, letting him come to terms with everything not going as planned, but turning out just as he'd hoped. "Yes," he finally smiled- a wide grin- before walking back to you. In no time at all, he had you wrapped in his arms, spinning around your room.

"Steve!" you shouted, unprepared for the lack of ground beneath your feet. He placed you delicately back on the bed, kissing each of your hands before rising.

"Dinner tomorrow?" Once again, you nodded at his question. "I'll pick you up at 7."

You were both smiling as he backed out of your room, only cutting off eye contact when he nearly tripped over an ottoman. "Tomorrow," you said wistfully.

"Tomorrow." Steve confirmed, his own tone matching yours.

The second you could no longer hear his footsteps retreating down the hall, you face planted into your pillow and squealed. You felt giddy. Your relationship with Steve was a long time coming and you couldn't put into words just how excited you were. Sleep did not come easily after that.

The next day passed in a blur. You could barely pay attention to your work as thoughts of Steve ran through your head. You were so excited to go out with him again, but your nerves grew as you remembered what happened last time you made a public appearance.

It was definitely not ideal for the PR manager to be splashed across the headlines. Even if it was only tabloids. You didn't have much time to think about it, however, because by mid-afternoon you were whisked away from your desk.

Nat and Wanda pulled you through the tower, eagerly leading you back to your room. It seems news of your date had travelled, and the two of them were beyond excited to help you get ready- despite your protests that it was a work day and four hours seemed a bit too much time.

"Nonsense. You and Steve have been towing this line for ages." Wanda grinned at you. "We won't let it go wrong because of a few work hours. Tony will understand."

You nodded, nervously biting your lip as the potential headlines flashed through your mind again. Would Tony understand his PR manager being the talk of the town? Would Pepper?

Before you could voice your concerns, Natasha was pushing you into the bathroom to try on the outfit they laid out. You were surprised to see your favorite ripped jeans waiting for you, but you put them on nonetheless. They had paired the jeans with a black shirt and a black denim jacket you had never seen before. Parts of the denim had been removed, replaced with a flowery mesh.

The second you were out of the bathroom, Nat and Wanda were pushing accessories and shoes into your hands. "I have to admit, this is not the vibe I thought you'd go for," you questioned them with a raised brow as you finished putting on your combat boots.

"Steve may or may not have given us a heads up." Wanda smirked. You looked between her and Nat, rolling your eyes that they knew where you were going when you didn't. You would have questioned them about it, but a knock on your door cut you off.

You were surprised to see it was already 7, and Steve was waiting for you on the other side of the door. You let your worries slip away, knowing they would only serve to upset your evening. With one final steadying breath, you opened the door.

You and Steve simply stared at each other, neither making a move. It was as if you were both frozen, simply taking in the other person. As Steve eyes roamed your outfit, you couldn't help but take in his own outfit.

You had to admit, he looked incredible. Seeing him in the familiar leather jacket was normal, but it never failed to make you swoon. The blue henley, however, couldn't help but spark thoughts of Bucky helping him choose what to wear. You let out a disbelieving chuckle at the idea of both of your friends dressing you.

The noise seemed to startle Steve into motion. He gestured for you to join him in the hallway, both of you ignoring the snickering coming from the two women in your room. He gently placed his hand on your lower back, the textured flowers pressing lightly into your back through the thin material of your shirt.

"You look incredible," Steve glanced at you. "I don't think I've ever seen this jacket before," he grinned, likely having the same thought you just had.

"It is new," you confirmed. "You look handsome as ever. I have to say, the blue henley really brings out your eyes." His laugh was like music to your ears.

"I'll have to tell Bucky you approve." The faint blush that dotted his cheeks had you even more giddy than before.

"I'll convey the same message to Nat and Wanda," you winked, again earning a chuckle. It was as if all the nerves had left your body and you were simply spending the evening with your best friend. All of the worrying and anxiety seemed pointless now that you were actually with him.

Unsurprisingly, Steve lead you to his motorcycle. You had never mentioned to him how much you loved riding with him, but you suspected he had some sort of idea. Or maybe he enjoyed it as much as you. Either way, you climbed on behind him, wrapping your arms around his narrow waist and stretching your neck to place your chin on his shoulder.

He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, smiling at the familiar feeling. It had been far too long since the last time you rode together. You pressed a light kiss to his cheek as he pulled out of the parking garage before leaning slightly back to enjoy the feeling of the wind on your skin.

Steve took you to a tiny diner in Brooklyn, somewhere the two of you had been before. It felt so natural, you nearly forgot the outing was an actual date. It was so easy to talk with Steve, you found yourself pestering him with questions about Wakanda, answering his own questions about your time apart as well. You spent hours in the diner, just talking like you used to.

"I've missed this," he spoke suddenly as the two of you were leaving the restaurant, making your way back to Steve's bike.

"I know, they have the best french toast," you goaded, grinning even more when he rolled his eyes.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Steve spun you around, his hands on your hips pressing you slightly into his bike from his proximity. "I've missed you. Our lunches and weekly brunch. The snuggling during movie night. Just being together," he whispered, leaning closer to you with each word.

Your throat was suddenly dry, your voice raspy as you replied. "I've missed you too." As if on their own accord, your hands had wrapped themselves around Steve's neck, pulling him even closer.

You both felt the pull as you leaned in, your lips barely brushing when the sound of tires screeching across the road startled you. Steve spun you behind him, his eyes scanning for any sign of danger. He relaxed when he realized it was just a car slamming on their brakes to avoid running a stop sign and hitting another car.

He let out a deep sigh, turning back to you with an apologetic look. "It's okay," you smiled reassuringly before pressing a kiss against his cheek. "Let's go home."

Steve nodded, quickly kissing your forehead before getting on the bike and signalling for you to do the same. You were pretty sure you heard him grumbling something about people learning how to drive, but you kept your giggling silent. Of course, being pressed up against Steve on the motorcycle did little to cool you down after the near steamy moment.

The night had gotten cooler as the sun set, encouraging you to squeeze closer to Steve. You hands tucked themselves in between his shirt and his jacket. The warmth radiating from him quickly warmed up your cold fingers, leaving you to feel the way his abs tightened when your hands shifted.

The ride back to the tower ended far too quickly for your taste. You would have spent the next hours pressed to Steve's warm back if he had let you. Instead, you found yourself standing next to him in the parking garage watching as he put the helmets away.

"I'll walk you to your room?" His offer received a nod from you, eager to spend any additional amount of time with him. His hand on the small of your back felt electrifying, even more so than earlier in the evening. You relished in the touch, eager to relive the moment from earlier.

When you reached your room, you paused with your hand on the door. Biting your lip, you turned around to look at Steve. He was closer than you expected, his eyes taking in the way you tugged your lip between your teeth. Once again, your throat was dry. You couldn't stop the raspiness in your voice when you spoke.

"I had fun tonight," you whispered, not missing the way his eyes flickered to your lips again.

"Me too," he whispered in return, not wanting to break the moment. He stepped closer, your bodies nearly touching when your hand fell from the door knob as you turned completely to face him. You both leaned in at the same time, your lips meeting briefly before returning with more pressure.

Your left hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him closer as your right hand pulled him in by his jacket. Steve pulled you to him as well, one hand tangled in your hair and one squeezing your hip. The two of you were as close as possible and yet it was still not close enough.

Your not sure how long you stood there, back pressed against the door to your room, but eventually the two of you needed air. Your each parted just enough to breath, your foreheads still pressed together as you tried to calm your racing heart. When you finally caught your breath, and managed to meet Steve's eye, you were certain you were about to go another round when the sound of a throat clearing jolted you apart.

Tony stood at the other end of the hallway, a smirk playing on his lips. Before either of you could tell him off, Tony held up a hand. "It's a public hallway." Tony defended himself as he walked closer.

"In the middle of the night..." you countered eyes wide in confusion. Why would he interrupt you for no reason?

"Tony, why are you here?" Steve sighed, one hand reaching to take your own as if the idea of not touching you was too much for him to handle at the moment.

"Bad news I'm afraid. I thought you'd want to see it as soon as possible." The look Tony was giving you set you on edge. Although he was answering Steve, it felt like he was talking to you.

"A mission?" Steve questioned, his thumb now rubbing circles on your hand.

"Not exactly." He produced a tablet from behind his back, gesturing for you to take it. You reached for it with your free hand, looking at Steve in confusion. The two of you looked down at the screen together, your mind running wild the second you saw the picture.

You didn't know how to feel. It wasn't anything bad per say, but it wasn't ideal for the whole world to see it. However, you liked the picture. It reminded you of the evening you just shared with Steve, and honestly, you were kind of grateful for the feeling being captured in a photo.

You were leaning slightly against Steve's bike with him standing directly in front of you. His hands had found purchase on your hips, your own wrapped around his neck. Your lips weren't quite touching, but it was obvious that's where it was headed. Or at least, where it would've been headed if not for the screeching car.

The gratefulness didn't last long as you realized the implications of Tony having the picture. "How bad is it?" You squeezed Steve's hand, finding comfort in his presence next to you. Last time this happened it was brushed under the rug by the Winter Soldier. However convenient that was for PR, it was a nightmare to live through. Something told you nothing like that would save you this time.

Tony gave you a comforting smile before responding. "From what I can tell, only the one photo was taken." you breathed a sigh of relief, although it was minor. One photo was bad enough. "Thankfully, the photographer knew he could get more money from me than any media outlet."

The meaning of his words sunk in slowly, but when it fully registered you had to lean into Steve because of the relief.

"Tony... I... Thank you," you whispered. You felt horrible for putting Tony in such a position, especially when it was your job to prevent any scandalous Avengers themed headlines. "Oh my god, it's the middle of the night! Tony, I'm so sorry! After what happened with our picnic I should've known not to-"

"Don't beat yourself up about it. Just be more careful next time." He winked at you before departing, calling out one last time before he was gone, "and have fun!"

You could feel the blush even before you made eye contact with Steve. Of course, the feeling only multiplied afterward. Steve looked just as bashful as you.

"Do you want to talk?" You gestured to your door, offering a safe haven from the "public hallway". Thankfully, Steve nodded. You watched him as he made his way into your room, awkwardly standing in the middle. You sat on your bed, gesturing for him to join you, but he declined.

"Steve? What's wrong?" you asked carefully, honestly a bit scared of the answer. He was quiet for a moment, staring at a spot on the floor. You were about to ask him again when he finally spoke.

"What should you have known not to do?" he mumbled, only increasing your confusion.

"What?" you asked, not understanding the question.

"You told Tony you should've known not to. Not to what? Not to go out with me again?" His voice was wavering, as if he was struggling to reconcile the time you had just spent together with your attitude about the picture.

"Of course not! I'm so, so glad we went out." You could feel the tears burning in your eyes. It felt dramatic, and you were annoyed by them, but it made sense. It was a lot to process. You stood to meet his eye, trying to convey just how much you believed what you were saying. "Steve, that was single handedly the best date I've ever been on. I just should've known to be more careful about what a stranger could see."

"Oh..." He glanced at you, seeing the sincerity in your eyes. You could tell your answer has sparked some thoughts for Steve, so you waited for him with a patient smile. "So a secret relationship?"

You smiled nervously. A secret relationship was never something you thought you'd be part of, but for Steve it would be worth it. "Just a secret from the public, not from the team."

He nodded at your words, seeming deep in thought. It was nerve wracking to watch him ponder the idea of having a relationship with you. The longer you waited, the more your anxiety built. Maybe your job just made this too difficult for him. Starting a relationship is already so stressful, having to add the secret part on top of that just makes it that much harder.

"I've never been one for PDA anyway." Steve's words tore you from your negative thoughts. The two of you stared at each other, smiling like children when Steve spoke again. "So, would you like to be my secret girlfriend?" Despite you just saying Steve took you on the best date of your life, he still looked nervous to ask you.

"I would love to be your secret girlfriend, so long as you want to be my secret boyfriend?" you replied, an eager smile on your face.

Steve forewent a verbal reply, choosing to answer your question with a kiss. He poured all of his emotions into it, holding you as close as he could.

You returned the kiss with just as much excitement. It wasn't until the two of you needed to breathe that you separated.

"In case it was unclear, that was a yes." Steve joked, his cheeks betraying his blush.

"Oh good, otherwise you really would've been sending the wrong message," you joked back. Your smile only grew when he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you're trouble." Steve pressed a quick kiss to your lips before backing away.

"Yeah, but you already knew that," you said with a smirk. Steve simply laughed in response. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course. We have our weekly lunches to uphold." Steve kissed you one more time before leaving.

You called a quick goodnight as you shut the door, nearly squealing when you were sure he was out of earshot. Tonight may have had a minor issue, but it was still one of the best nights of your life. After all the problems you and Steve have faced with being separated, finally being able to be together was all you wanted.

How hard could a secret relationship be?

You and Steve kept to your normal routine of eating lunch together and going out on Sundays. It was frustrating not even being able to hold his hand, but the fun outweighed the annoyance. Stealing kisses when nobody was around or texting each other dirty things made the beginning of your relationship interesting.

Plus, you could always spend time together in the residential area of the tower. You still had movie nights, albeit with some kisses thrown in, but you spent even more time with Steve. Whether it was making dinner together, or forcing Sam and Bucky to play a board game with you, the two of you could almost always be found together after work hours. The lack of affectionate time spent outside of the tower didn't bother you because you could spend so much time together inside.

Your life, although not what you pictured, felt perfectly balanced. You didn't realize just how easily that balance could be upended until Tony took over your surprise party for Steve's birthday.

"Y/N, how excited are you for tomorrow?" Wanda burst into your room, two dress bags in her hands.

"I'm excited, Wan. I still think Steve would prefer something small, but small isn't really in Tony's wheelhouse. I should've planned the whole thing and surprised both of them." You both laughed, knowing Tony was never one to turn down a party.

"I need your help." Wanda showed the two dresses she bought, one a long emerald v-neck with long sleeves, the other a black leather mini dress with cap sleeves. "Which one?"

You pictured her in both dresses, imaging the hair style and accessories she'd wear with each. "I like the green."

"Me too! I think Vis will like that one more too." Wanda spoke quickly as she zipped the bags back up. If she wasn't so quick to say "thanks for the help! I have to go find my accessories now" and leave, she might've noticed the shift in your mood. She might've noticed the tie you picked out for Steve sitting on your dresser. She might've noticed when you realized you couldn't actually go to your boyfriend's surprise party with your boyfriend because of one key detail. Secret.

After Wanda left, you only gave yourself five minutes to be upset. You and Steve agreed to keep your relationship private from the public for a reason. It wouldn't do to dwell on what can't happen. For you and Steve to tell the public you were together, he would have to admit he didn't have a soulmate song, and you would have to admit you were ignoring yours.

Ever since he came out of the ice, Steve Roger's soulmate has been the question people ask. Was it Peggy? If not Peggy, was it someone else from his time? Would he ever know who it was?

You know the truth. It's clear why Steve never talks about it. Especially if Bucky has a song and didn't used to. Talking about it would only serve to hurt him. You didn't mind ignoring your soulmate song. The familiar lyric of hopeless love was all it took to cast it from your mind.

So instead, you focused on Steve. You were ready for the party 3 hours before it began, not hesitating to help set up any decorations or equipment that still needed setting up. You were there to greet everyone who arrived before Steve, scolding Tony when guests arrived before him.

You were there when Steve walked in with Bucky. His eyes seemed to scan the room, stopping only when they found you. Turns out you didn't need to give him a tie. He already picked one out in the perfect shade of blue to compliment his eyes. The exact shade of blue you chose to wear for that very reason.

His eyes roamed your body, only being drawn away when the entire room shouted "surprise!" His reaction appeared to happen in slow motion, the confusion slowly giving way to understanding and appreciation.

He was making his way toward you, greeting and thanking anyone who stopped him to talk. At this rate, it would take the entire party for him to find you. Just before you could walk to him, a group of agents cornered him.

They were young, fit, excited about the world agents. The questions came faster than Steve could answer. You both knew it would be too suspicious for him to abandon the conversation simply to greet you. Instead, you gave him an encouraging smile and turned toward the bar.

Three drinks in, Steve found you.

"Hi," you greeted him with a warm smile, but he could see the disappointment in your eyes. You could see the regret in his, speaking up before he got the chance. "Don't you dare apologize. We signed up for this."

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "We did. I guess I'll just have to wait until we're alone to tell you how beautiful you are." His words caused a giddy smile to erupt on your face. Even after months of being together, Steve never failed to give you butterflies.

"Are you enjoying your party?" you asked, eager to change the subject for fear of doing something reckless.

"I am, it's wonderful." It was clear he believed the words, but you could tell it wasn't what he wanted to say. One look from you and he was spilling the truth. "If I'm honest something smaller would've been fine."

You sighed, having expected just the same. If it was a smaller party, you and Steve could have attended together. "That's what I told Tony, but you know how he gets. Bigger is better, and his friends deserve the best." You both laughed, enjoying the brief moment together.

"Dance with me?" Steve interrupts the silence. Seeing the look on your face, he continues, "Just one dance? Nobody will say anything about one dance with the birthday boy."

Rolling your eyes, you can't stop yourself from smiling. "Fine, one-" Before you can even finish the statement, Steve is whisking you to the dance floor. Just as you made it to the edge of the dance floor, the music shifted. The modern party music was left behind for some classic 40s.

You couldn't help but laugh as you and Steve spun around the dance floor, the words to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy echoing in your ears. By the time the song was fading out, you were nearly out of breath. The combination of Steve swinging you around the room and the never ending laughter had you in stitches.

"And here I thought you couldn't dance?" you teased, laughing even more when Steve had the audacity to look shocked.

"I have no idea what you mean. One more?" he asked. You knew you were toast. You couldn't say no to those eyes.

"You're lucky it's your birthday," you huffed, already putting your hand back on his shoulder in preparation for the next song. Steve gripped your waist as the familiar opening lyrics to Dream a Little Dream of Me sounded through the room. It wasn't the slowest song in the world, but everyone was taking advantage of the break to just sway together.

You shifted your grip, placing both hands behind his neck. It took everything in you to not rest your head on his shoulder. Instead, you looked into his eyes, hoping you could convey everything you wanted to say with just your eyes.

You could feel the distance between you decreasing as the song continued, but you didn't have the willpower to do anything about it. You wanted to be close to him, and he wanted you close. It wasn't until the song tapered out and Bucky was asking to cut in that you realized just how close you were to blowing your secret.

"Happy birthday Steve," you whispered, chancing one more look at his face. His expression mirrored your own. A sense of longing mixed with resignation. There was nothing you could say as Bucky whisked you back onto the dance floor as an upbeat song you didn't recognize began to play.

Eventually, the party died down, leaving only residents of the tower in the room. Steve dragged you back onto the dance floor, swaying with you despite the upbeat melody. He held you close, and you relished the feeling. For the first time in years, a lyric from your soulmate song popped into your head.

Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor?

You quickly brushed the thought aside. There was no use thinking about it when you knew Steve didn't have one. You're happy with Steve. There's no point focusing on what will only cause you both pain.

You stayed on the dance floor for a few more songs until you heard the tell tale signs of trouble brewing. Tony was dragging the karaoke machine over to the lounge area, ranting about how nobody has been using it.

"I spent $1,000 on this, and we are going to use it dammit!" he ranted. Even mildly drunk, Tony could set up a simple karaoke machine. You could hear everyone telling Tony that $1,000 is nothing to him, but he wasn't hearing it. "Everyone is singing! That includes you two!" Without lifting your head from Steve's chest you knew he was talking about you.

"Come on, let's just appease him," you said to Steve, pulling him over to the lounge. You graciously accepted the drink Nat handed you. "I'm gonna need this if Tony really forces us all to sing."

And force you to sing he did. Tony started things off with a rousing rendition of Back in Black surprising absolutely nobody with his choice of song.

Thor was so eager to participate in another "Midgardian activity" he let Tony choose his song. You all laughed and drank as he belted out the words to Bonnie Tyler's Holding out for a Hero.

Thor set a dangerous precedent, giving Tony the idea that he could choose everyone's songs. Wanda sang Baby One More Time, Bruce We Didn't Start the Fire. Clint joyfully sang Fancy Like, having Nat record it so he could send it to his kids. Sam somehow managed to convince Tony to let him sing Marvin Gaye. Nat forcefully moved Tony out of the way, choosing abcdefu to keep the party going.

Everyone was drinking and laughing, actually enjoying themselves now that the rest of the guests had left. Bucky glared the whole time he sang, but he and Steve managed to stutter their way through Alive by One Direction and Cold as Ice by Foreigner, respectively.

By the time it was your turn, everyone was wasted. It wasn't often the whole team got to relax like this, so it was nice to see everyone cutting loose. Tony pulled you up to the machine, overestimating the force required or underestimating his strength. Either way, the two of you crashed into the karaoke machine, knocking it over the railing.

You briefly looked over the edge, wincing at the various pieces that machine was now in. Tony, in his drunken state, looked devastated. You assumed he was upset about the broken machine, but he quickly showed what was upsetting him.

"You still have to sing!" Your eyes widened at his volume, but you didn't have much time to protest. Suddenly the whole room was agreeing, various statements about how "it's only fair" or "everyone else did."

"Okay, okay!" you shouted over everyone else. "I'll do it." You were far too drunk to regret any of your decisions, so you just started singing the first song that popped into your head. Everyone else was too busy cheering, they didn't realize none of them actually knew the song. Well, none but one.

When you hold me in the street And you kiss me on the dancefloor I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours

We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough

It's obvious you're meant for me Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly

You didn't notice as the mood died down, to caught up in pouring your heart out to even realize you were singing your soulmate song. Everyone was enjoying the song, albeit they assumed you chose it because of your secret relationship with Steve.

Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours

Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours

You finished the song to more cheering, although Steve remained motionless. Even after it was over, you didn't realize what had happened. You were so relieved to have let go of the feelings you were holding in that you did the one thing you swore you would never do.

"I've never heard that song before, Y/N! Who sings it?" Wanda asked, jolting you back into reality. Everyone was looking at you expectantly, but you didn't have an answer. You didn't want to tell them it was your soulmate song. You already killed the mood with the song, no reason to dampen it even further by admitting the truth.

"I don't remember!" You knew you sounded crazy, but you were hopeful the alcohol would make everyone forget. "I'm pretty tired, so I'm gonna head to bed. Happy Birthday!" You pressed a kiss to Steve's cheek on the way out, unable to even look him in the eye. He simply stared as you left, having a hard time believing what he just heard.

You had fallen asleep as soon as you laid down, and when you woke up last night felt like a dream- or more accurately, a nightmare. Your only hope was to pretend like it never happened and pray everyone else was too drunk to remember. Unfortunately, your bubble of hope was popped almost immediately after you woke up.

"Y/N!" Wanda excitedly ran to you when you entered the kitchen, "please tell me you know who sings that song!" You panicked as everyone turned toward you.

"What song?" you questioned, looking confused as you took a seat. If hope wouldn't do, pretending you forgot was your best bet.

"The one you sang last night," Nat answered for her, eyeing you suspiciously.

"Oh, um... who sings that song..." You pretended to be thinking, all the while considering moving to Albania and starting a new life. You glanced at Steve, but couldn't keep your eyes on him.

"Do you at least know what it's called?" Wanda smiled hopefully, only adding to your guilt.

"Secret Love Song," you answered with no hesitation, eyes widening when you realized she was going to google it. In high school, during your "it's only an obstacle we'll have to work through" phase, you started calling it your secret love song.

"That's weird. I can't find it online." Wanda pouted just as the subtlest of smirks formed on Nat's lips. You couldn't take it. There was no way to hide this from them. Of course it's not online, only two people in the world know the song- and it doesn't even really have a name! You dropped your face into your hands, mumbling under your breath in an effort to avoid the embarrassment this would cause.

"Oh my god!" Thor suddenly exclaimed, feeling as though he figured something out. "You wrote it, didn't you? You are very talented Lady Y/N!"

Your head snapped in his direction, wondering how good of an out that would be. It was clear from everyone else's expressions they knew the truth, though. "I didn't write it, but thank you for believing in me Thor." With a deep sigh, you rose from your seat at the island. "It's my soulmate song."

It was clear nobody knew what to say, so you saved them the trouble. "I know it's pretty sad for a soulmate song, but I got over it a long time ago. No need to feel bad for me." You shuffled toward the exit, still talking so nobody could express their sorrow for you. "I'm just gonna go... do something."

With a wave of your hand, you practically ran from the room. You knew they would want to talk to you about it, but you didn't have it in you. Of course these people are practically your family, but that would only make their pity feel even worse.

Maximizing your efforts to avoid the impending conversations, you packed a bag and messaged Tony that you needed to cash in some days off. Just a week and you'd be back. The team could manage not to cause any major PR problems for that long, right? Your only real problem was Steve.

You knew it wouldn't be fair to him to just leave, but the idea of talking to him after singing your soulmate song while knowing he doesn't have one sounds like the eighth circle of hell. You could write him a note, but it felt too impersonal. You struggled with your decision, ultimately deciding to pack the car and then figure out what to do. Of course, nothing works out like it's planned.

You opened your door to leave, but froze in place at the sight of the man who has your heart. Steve's fist was raised as if he was about to knock. You both stared, neither knowing just what to say in the moment. Then, Steve's eyes shifted from your face to the duffle bag over your shoulder.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his face adorably scrunched in confusion.

"Oh, um... I need a few days off. I'll be back next weekend," you muttered, looking anywhere but his face.

"Were you going to say goodbye?" He sounded so hurt, it only made you feel even more guilty.

"I... I don't know. I was going to put this in the car and then decide," you feebly replied gesturing to the bag. "Steve, I'm so sorry." You still refused to look him in the eye, too afraid of the sadness you might see in his baby blues.

"I'm so, so sorry. I feel horrible. I never meant to do that to you. I... I overheard you talking to Bucky before you asked me to dinner. I know you don't have a soulmate." You could tell just by the way his stance shifted that he had something to say, but you barreled through with your ramblings. "I have never told anyone the lyrics to my song before. You can probably see why." You words were accompanied by a resigned laughter.

"To sing that song and remind you that there's someone out there who's meant for me- even if it might be a difficult relationship- knowing you don't have a song was so awful of me. I should've known better. I know we were drinking, but that's no excuse." Try as you might, you couldn't stop the tears you felt building. Your throat burned. Your vision went blurry. "I... I'm sorry."

You closed your eyes, trying to calm your breathing. The sound of your blood pumping in your veins echoed in your ears. You had no idea if Steve was even still standing in front of you.

"Y/N..." He took your hands in his, surprising you enough that your eyes flew open. "I do have a song," he said softly. He looked just as upset as you, albeit his tears were merely welling in his eyes at this point.

"Wha- what? But... but you told Bucky..." you sputtered, the confusion you were feeling increased as Steve slowly slid the bag off your shoulder. He guided you further into your own room, gently encouraging you to sit on your bed. He kneeled in front of you, wiping your tears as they fell.

"I told Bucky I didn't have a song because his was so happy. I didn't want to weigh down his mood with my song." He moved to hold your hands in his, gently rubbing his thumbs over the backs of your hands.

"You have a sad song too?" You hated to admit it, but somewhere deep inside of you, a flicker of hope started growing. He nodded, drawing a small notebook from his pocket. You watched as he opened to a specific page and handed you the book.

"This is from last year. I... I wanted to take you out because there was this new movie showing, and I just knew you would love it. But I couldn't. We're only a couple in the confines of this tower, and even that can be interrupted. So I saw it with Bucky and I wrote down all the parts I thought would make you laugh."

Your tears renewed themselves, although this time from the overwhelming love you were feeling. He flipped the page slowly, showing another entry.

"This one is from when that new tapas restaurant opened around your birthday. I wanted to take you there and celebrate. So, I dragged Bucky out with me and wrote down all the things I thought you would want to try."

He flipped through the pages, various date activities he wanted to do with you outlined in the book. They ranged from all day activities like ice skating and looking at the holiday decorations to little things like being able to hold your hand when you got coffee together. Eventually, he landed on the last page of the book.

"This one is from a few days ago. Tony said he was having a fourth of July party, and I wanted nothing more than to ask you what color you were wearing so we could match. So we could actually do something together around other people." He shook his head as a light laugh escaped his lips. "I guess the matching part worked out anyway." You nodded your reply, too overwhelmed with emotion to speak.

"When Bucky stole you away on the dancefloor at the party... all I could think about was my song. I spent the rest of the night wondering if you were thinking the same thing... and then you sang it right to me."

You were still crying, far too emotional to even try to contain the tears, but now your smile was shining through. A smile that definitely told Steve how exstatic you were at hearing his confession.

"I tried to tell you last night, but you fell asleep so quickly. And this morning I didn't want to just blurt it out over breakfast. And then you admitted it to everyone, and I was trying to leave to come tell you, but they kept saying you probably wanted space! It took me this long to realize I could just tell them I was going for a run and come up here instead-"

You cut off his rambling with a kiss. Steve, who was still kneeling in front of you, fell backward with the force of your embrace, pulling you down to the floor with him. The two of you were laughing and crying and kissing and far too engrossed in each other to realize the rest of the team had come to check on you after Tony asked what your message was about.

"I love you," you whispered between kisses, still laying on top of Steve on the floor.

"I love you too... soulmate," Steve whispered right back. Everyone else backed away as Nat slowly pulled the door shut. The two of you deserved your privacy.

"Soulmate... that's so much better than secret boyfriend," you beamed. You couldn't hold your smile back long enough to kiss Steve, so you buried your face between his neck and his shoulder.

"Definitely better than secret girlfriend," he confirmed, a slight nervousness to his voice. You pushed away from him to ask, but the words were already escaping him. "Does that mean we're secret soulmates now?"

You couldn't help but laugh, a mixture of joy and love escaping as you rapidly shook your head no. "No! It was only a secret because the whole world would crucify us for being together if we weren't soulmates. I mean, there will still be a story, but it will definitely be positive now. We could come right out and tell everyone, or just go about our lives and let them figure it out. Oh! We could-"

It was Steve's turn to cut you off with a kiss. He held you close, not really needing to do much as gravity was still holding you to him. "Let's not talk about work right now. I just want to be with you without all of this weighing us down." You agreed, pressing a quick kiss before surprising him by getting up. "Where are you going?"

"Well, I don't know about you, but I didn't eat breakfast." You grabbed your bag from where Steve dropped it, removing the essential things you would need for the day. "Would my soulmate like to accompany me to a breakfast... " you paused dramatically, "in public... with hand holding?"

Steve jumped up from the ground, spinning you around in a very similar fashion to the day he asked you to date him. "I would love nothing more."

Everything: @averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @strawberryspence @andrwgxrfield @jswessie187 @ellobruv @alohastitch0626

Marvel:

@leyannrae @livstilinski @oceaniamaddness @justreadingficsdontmindme @ladydmalfoy @freyathehuntress

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers soulmate au #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fic #steve rogers #captain america

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lubdubsworld · 3 years ago

Text

The Devil’s own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed there , staring at the ceiling and trying to come to terms with what had just happened. It was revolting. It was nauseating. It made me want to claw my own skin off. I stared at the intricate designs , carved into the ceiling, the panels that reflected life and made the room seem bigger than it was. The scent of jasmine and rosemary clung to the sheets and the drapes in the room, cloyingly sweet and meant to arouse the occupants.

I wondered how I’d got here.

I had memories of satin silk sheets and bright lights. My father had always spoiled me, the best of the best only for his only daughter and I’d indulged in luxury to my heart’s content. More shoes than I could possibly wear in a life time. Every season’s collection, straight into my wardrobe whether I asked for it or not. Diamonds and rubies and emeralds set in platinum and gold , jewelry to match my clothes and even my car if I felt like it.

I shut my eyes in despair. I didn’t miss the luxury as much as I missed the solitude. The option to just not do anything. My father hadn’t cared enough to see what I was upto and everyone knew that I was betrothed to Jungkook.

And that meant no dates or party invites because after the third guy got his arm in a sling after accidentally brushing past me , word kind of spread. Stay away from Elena Gong or the Jeon kid will break your bones.

I shuddered. It had been an obsession, I thought vacantly.

Jungkook had been obsessed, even back then. I just hadn’t paid much heed to him. Because Jungkook back then had been terrifying but also ridiculously endearing in some way. He had seemed for lack of a better word…..insignificant. I was beautiful and rich, never lacked for attention and he was just one among the dozens. Even if I was betrothed to him, I hadn’t given much thought to him.

And Jungkook had taken my indifference in stride. He’d laughed and played around and I hated to admit it, treated me like a queen. Flowers, chocolates and gifts every other day . He would follow me around like a puppy , and I wondered if perhaps my dismissive attitude towards him back then had been a mistake. Did it push him over the edge?

My heart ached fiercely and when I finally willed myself to move, my body protested.

Every inch of me was sore and aching. My head because of how hard he’d gripped my hair. I sat up on shaky legs, fingers trembling as I pulled my shit up to stare at my body. Bite marks littered my skin, marring the smooth surface and I felt bile in my throat at the memory of his teeth on me. Finger shaped bruises were beginning to bloom around my thighs and I couldn’t breathe over the agony ripping up my insides.

I glanced down between my thighs, at the sticky mess of his release dripping down into the sheets, staining the sheets a murky pink. I shuddered, disgusted. God, I hated him. Where was my phone? My clothes were still there at the foot of the bed and I noticed the small door on the right wall. Crawling off the bed on shaky legs , I limped carefully to the bathroom.

I took Hoseok’s shirt off dropping it in the corner before turning the showers on.

The water felt like a whip on my skin as I sat on the tiled bathroom floor , a small washcloth gripped tight in my hand as I carefully cleaned myself up. I had no idea what the time was… It must be very early or very late. No matter. I had to get out of here and get to Jisoo. I swallowed, imagining her alone all this time. The doctors had said she would be up in Guilt churned as I quickly grabbed a towel from the closet and wiped myself down.

It took me another ten minutes to finish dressing up and just as I finished slipping into my shoes, the door opened. I glanced up, catching sight of Hoseok as he leaned against the door. He looked a little haggard, a black silk shirt unbuttoned to his chest and tucked into fitted jeans. I stared at him, watching the way his gaze roved over every inch of exposed skin, looking just a tad bit worried.

“The Hospital called. “ He said gently, “ They’re ready to release you sister. They want to know if you can come pick her up. The baby’s going to have to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks.”

I groaned. Great. More bills.

“I need a job. “ I said miserably. “ Help me out.” I stared at him beseechingly and Hoseok gave me a look.

“you know the kind of jobs I provide. You’re not built for it. “ He said shortly and I shook my head, impatient.

“that’s not what I meant and you know it. You and your friends pretty much own every club in the city. Get me a job ….” I whispered, moving to stand in front of him and he recoiled.

Just as always, I thought bitterly. Coward.

As much as a coward now as he’d been ten years ago, when he’d pretended that he didn’t have any feelings for me. Pretended that he didn’t give a damn about me.

The throb in my skull grew in intensity.

My throat was dry and I felt my vision swim a bit. I was tired. Exhausted . I hadn’t slept in….how long really? I hadn’t eaten in a day…for sure… And I likely wasn’t going to be eating for a long while, let alone feeding Jisoo if I didn’t get a job right away. I had twelve thousand won to my name and that was it.

“Jungkook-“ He began but I was sick of his name so I growled.

“Fuck, do you want me to beg Hoseok? I will… I can’t … I need a job… Please.” I said desperately, staring at him and his gaze softened.

“Elena, stop looking at me like that, fuck.” He swore, turning and punching the wall hard. “ fuck.”

“Just help me get a job. I’m not asking you to give me money or something. You don’t even have to get it for me… Just tell me who’s hiring ? Somewhere away from Jungkook and his men.” I whispered , and the sheer irony of it didn’t escape me. Jung Hoseok was possibly one of Jungkook’s main men.

He ran his hand over his forehead, shaking his head.

“You’re going to get me killed someday.” He muttered, “ Fine. There’s a club down in Itaewon. It caters to cops and lawyers exclusively so Jungkook and his men usually keep out of it. My friend owns the place. His name is Im Jaebum. I’ll get you a job there , waitressing. Is that alright?” He said softly and I wanted to sob in relief as I nodded. Itaewon meant pretty close to where the bakery was. I could take the bus.

“Fine. I’ll talk to him and call you. Here…” He held out a wad of cash and I took it greedily, eyes widening at the 100,000 written on the margin of each note. This was a lot of money.

“Hoseok…”I said stunned and he shrugged. “ Get food and baby stuff for Jisoo. If she’s going to feed the baby she needs to eat well. Fruits and veggies and lot of protein. If you run out, tell Jaebum you need some advance. He’ll pay you well.”

I nodded, stuffing the money into my pockets quickly . I swallowed when my insides throbbed, aching something fierce.

“Thank you.” I said softly, staring up at him and he hesitated, before reaching out and gently cupping my face in his palm. I flinched at his touch and he recoiled.

“Was he… Did he hurt you?” He whispered quietly and I smiled bitterly.

“Wasn’t that the whole point?” I sighed, shaking my head . I hesitated . I wasn’t sure if Hoseok would listen to me but I had to try at least.

“ Can you not tell him? That… That I was a virgin?” I asked quietly and he nodded.

“Wasn’t planning to.” He said casually.

I stared at him. I’d always found him handsome. Beautiful. Perfect . And I wondered where we had gone so wrong.

“Do you regret it.” I whispered. “ All those choices you made.”

“Which ones? …” he asked bitterly.

“you know… “ I snapped. “ the ones that lead us here. You and me…. Standing here like strangers. “

“I wouldn’t risk my life for a stranger. Which is what I’m doing every time I help you .” He said quietly.

“So what are we then?” I demanded.

“Old friends” He said casually.

I snorted.

“Fucking coward.” I whispered , loud enough for him to hear as I brushed past him and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I trudged all the way to the VIP room in the hospital flinching because that was probably a lot of money to be repaid , now owed directly to the devil spawn that was Jeon. I had grabbed a small meal on the way before quickly getting the bus to the Hospital. It was little past eleven in the morning and the hallways were packed with people. Sighing, I moved to the room where Jisoo was, slowly opening the door.

Min Yoongi sat on the chair next to the bed, gazing idly at my sister in law.

To say that I was shocked would be the biggest understatement of the century. My lips parted in shock, panic bubbling up inside me as I exhaled sharply.

“What-“ I swallowed gazing between him and my Jisoo, who was sitting up against the backrest on the bed, a tray of food on her lap and a small smile on her face.

“Lena!! You’re here!” She cried out softly, tears filling her eyes at once as she held both her hands up. I moved to hug her but my mind stayed on the man near the bed, his sultry feline eyes trained unblinkingly on her. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to get my breathing to regulate but it was impossible.

What on earth was Yoongi doing here?

“Mr. Min came to see me. He told me he knew Daehwan.” Jisoo said softly, looking sad but hopeful and I felt my heart turn over as I turned to stare at him.

Min Yoongi knew Daehwan as a target . A hit he had carried out himself.

But I couldn’t say a thing. Not in front of Jisoo.

“I’m only here to offer my help. It pains me to see you suffering, Jisoo. I know your husband would want you to be taken care of.” He said softly, his gaze still fixed on her and I didn’t like it. At all.

Bile rising, I gave him a glare.

“I’ll take care of her. Please don’t trouble yourself.” I said shakily and he glanced at me, lips parting a bit, turning into a smirk.

“You look… well rested.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Lena, come on… I know all this…this must be expensive. We can use all the help we can get and Mr. Min-“

“Please call me Yoongi, sweetheart.” Yoongi said charmingly and my sister in law blushed. I felt my skin crawl.

“Y-Yoongi said he has a spare room. I can’t stay in the bakery. And it’s not like he’s a murderer or anything. He showed me his card. He’s a lawyer.” She said softly and I sighed in despair. Jisoo was naïve bordering on stupid and I wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

As I watched she went back to the food, eating ravenously and I felt my heart clench. I could see the twin damp spots at her chest and I noticed the breast pump on the table. It looked brand new. I hadn’t even thought about things she may need after the baby, too preoccupied with all the hospital bills and medicines I would have to pay for.

Diapers. Baby wipes. Those little flannel pieces mothers used to wipe down the baby. I felt my head spin, turning to Yoongi who was staring at me casually.

“Can we talk?” I said quietly and he straightened.

“Jisoo ssi… Please enjoy your meal. And here…” He gave her his phone. “ If you’re done, just give me a buzz on this.” He showed her something on the phone .” Go on try it.”

Jisoo pressed down on the screen curiously and Yoongi’s watch rang .

He grinned as she smiled.

“See? One touch and I’ll be here yeah?” He said softly, and I felt like I was stuck in some kind of drama, glancing between the pair of them.

“Are you leaving?” She asked curiously and he shook his head.

“I’ll be right here, outside. Having a word with Elena. You can finish your food and I’m guessing it’s time for you to pump again? The pediatrician said you’d have to pump every two hours with the milk so… if you get it ready, I’ll drop it off at the NICU.” He said calmly.

Jisoo nodded, staring at him with wide eyed gratefulness and I sighed in despair.

Yoongi moved to the door and I gave her a small smile before following him.

I waited till the door had closed behind me before turning to him, furious.

“What do you think you’re-“

“I want her.” He said shortly.

I felt my jaw come unhinged.

“No.” I hissed, furious and helpless with rage. “ Yoongi-“

“Don’t make me put a bullet in your head for this, Elena.” He said calmly and I exhaled shakily.

“She’s… You know she’s not like us. She doesn’t know anything about this life. As far as she knows my brother was a surgeon who got killed in a hit and run. You want to …. What do you really want? Did Jungkook put you upto this?”

“If Jungkook would have his way, your sister in law and your new nephew would both be dead. You know this.” Yoongi said casually. God, could I ever have a conversation with anyone without Jungkook being dragged into it? When did my life get twined so intimately with him?

“Where is he?” I asked quickly and Yoongi shrugged.

“He’s out of the country. He left an hour ago.”

“Switzerland….” I said before thinking and Yoongi stiffened.

“How did you know?” He demanded and I froze.

“I… I overheard …..someone.” I muttered and Yoongi moved so fast I barely caught it. The next second I was pressed up against the wall, his forearm pressing into my throat and holding me down while he held a knife right against my jugular.

“Nice try. Now the truth.” He hissed.

“Ouch..” I choked out , coughing a bit. “ Fine.. Hoseok.. Hoseok told me.”

Yoongi pulled back.

“You fukcing him?” He asked casually and I glared at him.

“none of your business.” I snapped.

He laughed at that.

“I know you aren’t. Hoseok loves his dick too much to risk having it castrated.”

I sighed, shaking my head. I wasn’t here to talk about these bastards.

“Just leave Jisoo alone.” I said quietly and Yoongi sighed.

“What are you going to do with her, Elena. You can barely afford to feed yourself. You should be thankful I’m taking her off your hands.”

I ignored his nonsense and moved till I was pressed up against him, fingers curling into his chest. Yoongi looked surprised, lips twisting in displeasure when I blinked up at him.

“please.. Yoongi…” I begged, “ Don’t do this to me.” I said quietly. “ I … she’s all I have… She… My brother had nothing to do with any of this. You know that….He left this life decades ago. I don’t… I don’t know why Jungkook wanted him dead in the first place. I loved my brother and my brother loved his wife. I owe it to him … Please…just…Please leave her alone.” I whispered softly, letting my fingers drop to grip his arm.

He tugged his arm away at once.

“ She needs more than empty platitudes and good intentions. She needs food and a place to stay with her baby. I’m giving her that.”

“And what do you get in return?” I demanded angrily. “ She just gave birth, fuck you. You can’t touch her , not unless you’ve lost the last shreds of humanity in that conscience of yours.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I’m not doing this for sex, Elena. If I wanted easy pussy, I would have come to you…” He smirked. “ Don’t forget that Jungkook and I share our toys, yeah?”

I opened my mouth to retort before remembering that I was trying to get him to listen to him.

“Then why? What do you want…tell me?”

“I told you. I want her. As she is.” Yoongi shrugged.

“You killed her husband.” I said , voice shaking as I remembered what Jungkook had said. About my brother begging for his life because Jisoo was pregnant. And how Yoongi hadn’t given a shit and shot him anyway.

“A minor inconvenience. Trust me if I’d seen her before I killed him…” He sighed, shaking his head in regret and I frowned.

“You would have spared him? “ I asked bitterly and Yoongi laughed.

“No.. I would have killed him sooner.” He smirked. “ Is there a point to this whole conversation… I’m getting bored and Jisoo’s waiting inside.”

“We’re supposed to get her out of the hospital today and-“

“I’m taking her home.” He said briskly. “ I’ve already spoken to her. And She’s agreed that a ramshackle , dilapidated bakery isn’t the right place for a new mother and a tiny baby.”

And the worst part was that I couldn’t even disagree.

And I couldn’t help but feel angry, betrayed. Jisoo was…. How could she? She hadn’t even bothered to talk to me about it… Just agreeing to move in with Yoongi. She was older than me. Supposed to be the smart one. My body ached. If that was the bed she was going to make , she could lie on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Going somewhere?” Jungkook’s voice made me freeze.

I swallowed, straightening and stepping back almost instinctively. He stood in the doorway, a cigarette held between his teeth as he stared at me . He looked like he’d showered as well, hair still damp and the smells of citrus and mint permeating the air around him.

It was exactly ten days since I’d last seen him and I’d settled into a routine of sorts. Im Jaebum’s bar, Venom was an exclusive club in Itaewon and I could easily disappear into the shadows, staying low and using the beret ( a part of the uniform ) to keep my face hidden as I served the patrons. Like Hoseok had said, the place was filled with cops and lawyers. Yoongi was a frequent fixture here , stopping for just a drink on most days before heading home to my sister in law.

It made me sick but there was nothing I could do about it. Jisoo and little baby Yunsu were both home and needed a l,ot of care. And Yoongi apparently had a cook, a housekeeper and a nanny who helped her out. Jisoo was wary, her senses finally returning but she was also clearly glad to be out of the streets.

“I’m going home after I finish my shift. “ I said softly, trying not to stare as he stepped into the room. I turned away from him moving to the shelves and pushing the small canister in place.

“Where’s home?” He asked casually. I flinched when he stepped right behind me, fingers reaching out to curl on my shoulder, pulling me back till I was flush against his chest. The heat of his body seeped in through the thin fabric of my blouse and I felt my body heat up.

“You got what you wanted.” I said shakily. “ Let me go.” I whispered, dropping the cleaning cloth in the tray on the lower shelves, before moving to grab the mop. I just had to finish mopping the floor . And then I could leave.

But his grip on me stayed firm. I couldn’t move. Foreboding rose inside me.

Jungkook hummed at that, stepping closer, till I felt his chin brush the top of my head as he bent over me, arms coming around me and fingers lightly unbuttoning the first two buttons of my shirt. I stared at the dark ink on his forearm. , swallowing as he kept coming closer.

“What I wanted? That pathetic little display ten days ago?” He whispered softly “ Just think about this Elena …… I’ve been chasing you for years, I got rid of your entire family and yet I let you live. Why do you think that was, huh? “ He shook his head, “ For two minutes of you lying underneath me like a frigid bitch? You think that’s what I want Elena? Think I’ll be satisfied with that? ” He laughed.

I stared at the wall in front of me and I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t play this sick game with him. Not when he kept changing the rules . Not when there was nothing left for me to gamble or lose.

“Jisoo. I have to go see her. Just… Just let me go see her. I need to see if she’s alright and then we can talk. ” I whispered. Jungkook smiled, tilting my head to the side with his fingers. I felt the damp press of his lips against my jaw and my skin crawled.

“Don’t worry, Yoongi’s taking care of her.” He whispered softly and I felt my heart turn over in my chest at the reminder. I’d been forced to relent because Yoongi had taken her home to a fully finished and decorated nursery , a closet full of baby clothes for her son and nursing clothes for her. She had been bowled over and when I’d told her to think about the why of it…she’d given me a helpless sort of smile. . As far as she was concerned , Yoongi had been nothing but generous and kind… And she wasn’t going to say no to him because she couldn’t afford to..

“I… he promised me he’d let me see her. And the baby…every day. That was the deal.”

Jungkook laughed.

“I thought I made this clear . You don’t get to make deals with anyone because you belong to me. I get to decide what happens to you. Anytime. Anywhere. Do you need another demonstration , Elena?” His hand moved to my breast, groping the flesh, fingers rough and hard and I whimpered in pain.

“No..” I choked out , eyes widening in terror and he made quick work of the rest of the buttons on my blouse. Junkook hummed, kissing the back of my neck and slowly turning me around in his arms.

“Relax. You don’t have a job. How are you going to feed her and the kid? Yoongi isn’t like me. He doesn’t hold a lot of grudges. And for some reason he seems to have a hard on for your sister in law. He wants to marry her. ” He chuckled and I felt nausea bloom.

“No.. Don’t… Don’t do that to her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t know… She doesn’t have anything to do with this life.” I begged, heart racing at the thought of Jisoo, helpless and scared and alone with a baby , trapped with a fucking assassin. Yoongi killed for a living . That was his job. Jisoo was delicate and sensitive.

“She still needs to eat and live right? With what? He’s feeling particularly generous so he’s taken her home . You don’t have to worry about them anymore… Isn’t that nice?” he smirked and I felt my throat go dry.

I clenched my fists, feeling my breath catch.

“The only person you need to worry about yourself is yourself. Isn’t that how you prefer it anyway? Beautiful selfish Elena who never gave a fuck about anyone but herself. Isn’t that who you truly are, angel?” He smiled.

“Not anyone…. Just you… I don’t give a fuck about you.” I said defiantly, staring right up at him.

Jungkook stared at me and stepped closer, reaching out and running his fingers up and down my cheek. I flinched because he still held the lit cigarette.

“None at all?” He asked curiously, lightly tapping on the end of the cigarette, and I flinched when the hot ash spilled onto my shoulder.

“Did that hurt, baby?” He whispered, leaning in and pressing the cigarette to my lips.” I’m sorry. Breathe in for me.” He stuck the cigarette into my mouth and I pulled away , coughing and disgusted.

I closed my eyes as his free hand went to my wrist, tugging me closer. I stiffened as he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me in till my face pressed against his chest, his body flush against mine, one hand moving back to stroke my back.

“I missed you. You’re terrible at pleasing me but I think…with a little bit of training, you can make me cum… ” He smirked. “ Let’s start with a blowjob, yeah?”

I stiffened.

“No.” I said softly and he smirked, pulling back.

“No?” He asked softly. . I felt my throat go dry in fear as I noticed the way his gaze shifted. I bit my lips to stifle the pain as He carefully pressed the lit end of the cigarette right against the curve of my breast , pressing in for a couple of seconds and pulling away just before the skin began to singe. He glanced up at me, and I blinked through the tears, pain spreading all over my chest at the burn. That would leave a scar, I thought miserably.

“Wrong answer. Try again.” He whispered.

“Go to Hell.” I choked out.

I flinched when his fingers slipped up into my hair, gripping hard. My scalp burned, sharp and insistent and instinct made me grip his wrist, trying to get him off but it was impossible.

“Let me go..” I snapped, glaring at him. God, How I hated him.

“Was I your first??” He whispered, dragging me close enough that his lips brushed my ear. “ Never had a cock before? Was that why you were so fucking tight?”

I bit my lips, glaring at him, defiant and furious. Did Hoseok actually tell him? That two faced snake…. God , why did these fuckers never leave me alone?

“Seokjin hyung told me…Told me he was looking forward to breaking a virgin and that made me think….God, I was the first cock she ever had….” He hummed, looking infinitely pleased.

“Yes. And I got to say… I don’t know what the fuss is about. You couldn’t even make me cum.” I snapped and Jungkook grinned, grip tightening and the other hand moving to curl around my waist, squeezing hard.

“Did I make you bleed from between your legs Elena? Tell me I did….Cause that’s fucking hot. ” He whispered, voice low and gruff.

Jungkook, I thought vacantly, was a psychopath.

“Go to Lisa. Go fuck her and make her bleed if that’s what gets you off…. and leave me alone.” I whispered and he smiled, bending down pressing a kiss right where he’d burned my skin.

“I don’t need you to tell me that. She’s my fiancé. The woman I’m going to marry. And you know what that means? I actually give a shit whether she cums or not. And trust me she does. Multiple times. Sometimes so hard she passes out.”

“Or maybe she fakes it. Maybe she passes out because she can’t stand your touch either.” I shrugged. “ Because we all know that’s what she’s good at Jungkook. She faked her friendship with me , she’ll fake her loyalty to you.”

“Always got something smart to say, huh Elena? Let’s see how mouthy you get when I’m shoving my cock down your throat.”

I flinched when he pushed me, hard enough to send me sprawling on the floor. I caught myself with difficulty , throwing my hands out to keep my head from hitting the floor. I flinched at the pain that shot up my body, every inch throbbing because of how rough this fucker had been with me.

Ten days and the aftermath of that night still lingered on me.

And it was three in the morning and I’d spent eight hours on my feet bussing tables , I was exhausted.

I closed my eyes, before pressing my palm against the floor, trying to pull myself up when I felt the press of his shoe at the base of my spine, pushing me down.

I whimpered in shock, my hands giving out and shoulder crashing down into the floor.

“Stay down for a second, baby.” He whispered and I exhaled.

I pressed my palm against the floor, head dropping on to the carpeted floor . I whimpered when I felt him crouch down, foot digging in harder into my back and I curled my fingers into the carpet to swallow the pained sound that bubbled up in my throat.

“I’m going to fuck you again. And this time I want you to do all the work.” Jungkook’s voice came from over me and I flinched. I considered the odds of me putting up a fight and actually winning. It was laughable. I wasn’t going to fight a force of nature. And that was what Jeon Jungkook was.

“ You can’t make me do anything Jungkook.” I whispered finally. “ You can hit me and rape me and kill me but you can’t make me do anything to you. You just have to live with that.”

His foot lifted off my spine and I felt hands on my arms, pulling me up till I was kneeling. I watched as he moved around to stand in front of me.

“Look at me.” He said carefully.” From now you only speak when I tell you to.”

“ Whatever. Let’s get this over with so I can go see my sister and my nephew.“ I said shakily.

He sighed deeply at that, shaking his head.

“See, if it was upto me, I’d just put a bullet in both their heads. Cos at this point they’re just proving to be a nuisance.”

My blood turned to ice in my veins.

“ But, Yoongi’s just getting to know your pretty little Jisoo…And he’s my favorite hyung. So I’m going to let her live. But, let’s not invade their privacy for a while.” He began unbuckling his belt and I felt nausea rise inside me.

“Jungkook?” The voice came from the door and I stiffened. Jungkook groaned.

“Baby, what the fuck are you doing here?” He said gruffly, standing up and using his knee to push me out of the way roughly. I swore, gripping the edge of the table near me to steady myself before turning around to stare at the woman at the door. I stumbled to my feet, still feeling a little out of it. I needed food. Before I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

“You were supposed to come see me tonight. I went looking for you everywhere and I find you here about to get with some common whore?” she shouted and I stiffened, glaring at her.

She stood framed in the doorway, staring at me for a second before letting her gaze wander all over the room. She stared at me, eyes taking in the unbuttoned blouse and I quickly moved to put the buttons back on.

“Did you fuck her?” She demanded angrily and Jungkook hummed.

“Since when did I owe you answers, angel?” He asked casually and I watched the woman’s eyes widen, before her brows furrowed in a frown.

“ So what, I can’t ask you who you’re with ?” She asked angrily and Jungkook groaned , kicking out at the nearest stand with enough force to send it toppling over the side, crashing to floor and breaking on impact. I stumbled, back, wrapping my arms around myself as he fairly growled.

“What the fuck is up with all you cunts today?” He demanded, glancing at me in distaste. “ I come back after busting my ass at work for ten entire days . I just needed to get my dick sucked and you two.” He shook his head, hand reaching into his jacket and I felt my eyes widen when he pulled his glock out, releasing the safety and loading the gun before pressing the muzzle right against her skull.

The woman whimpered, hands held up as he tapped the firearm against her.

“You. You don’t come anywhere near me unless I send for you. Is that clear?” He asked sharply and she nodded frantically, abject terror written all over her face.

He turned to me.

“And you. You’re coming with me.” He said quietly and I felt my eyes widen. I opened my mouth to protest but the girl at the door beat me to it.

“I think not…. You’re not taking her anywhere, Jungkook, I’ll-“ She began, reaching forward to grab him and Jungkook moved so quickly, I could barely blink.

The shot rang out , making me jump and I watched as she crumbled to the floor, crying out in pain. I stared in horror, watching the hole in her arm, spilling blood all over the floor and the hallway and my throat went completely dry, staring at the girl on the floor and the blank, absolutely merciless look on his face.

“Just because I let you sit on my cock once in a while, doesn’t mean you get a say in how I live my life.” He said quietly, using his foot to prod her hip. He glanced at me and I felt my throat go dry as he pulled the glock back to reload it.

He aimed the gun right at me, eyes dark and heavy.

“Are you going to be good for me, baby? Or do you need a physical demonstration as well?” He tilted his head to where the girl was on the floor, pressing her palm against her arm.

“She’s bleeding out.. “ I choked out. “ you need to get her help, Jungk-“

Another shot rang out and I jumped, heart in my throat as I tried to understand what had happened. It took me a second to realize that he hadn’t shot me. That he had fired at the ceiling.

“Answer the bloody question Elena.” He growled and I flinched, nodding.

“I… I’ll listen… Just…” I glanced back at the poor girl on the floor.” Get her some help.”

Jungkook smiled a little. He turned to the girl on the floor and shook his head.

“Get up baby. Go find Hoseok and get that patched up, yeah? And don’t provoke me the next time, yeah? ” He said casually and she stumbled to her feet, looking disoriented and scared as she moved out of the door.

“ And you. “ He glared at me. “Finish dressing up and follow me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are we going?” I asked nervously, fighting the instinct to just take off at a sprint, as we walked down the road to where his Mercedes was parked.

“My home. Where else?” He said casually and I stiffened.

“Jungkook-“

“Didn’t I tell you not to speak unless I ask you to, Elena? I’m jet lagged and angry. Trust me , you don’t want to piss me off now.” He said casually and I swallowed.

He opened the door for me, the polite gesture so at odds with what he was doing that my head began to throb.

But I climbed in nonetheless. I stayed quiet for the short ride to his apartment , eyes fixed straight ahead and Jungkook was quiet too. I was too exhausted to be scared, I thought despondently, my eyes drooping because of how long I’d been up. Glancing out the window, I watched the cars whizz by, people living their lives, completely unaware that almost all of them were merely tiny little gears in a machine run exclusively by men like Jungkook. That all their lives, spent working and earning and dying…it was all meaningless. They had no say in anything. People like Jungkook were the ones who got to shape the world to their liking. The ones who got to play God.

And Jungkook was definitely the closest to an omnipotent human I’d ever come across.

Powerful, untouchable and terrifying.

So perhaps, it was a little flattering, that I was the one thing he couldn’t get out of his head.

I glanced at him discreetly.

He was beautiful, I thought with a pang. One of the most beautiful men on this planet. Despite the years, his boyish charm was still right there on his face and he could slip on a plaid shirt , a white t shirt and stone wash jeans and pass off as an innocent college student. I stared at the taut jaw, the long column of his neck and the broad back. His biceps bulged when he gripped the steering when and my eyes lingered on the long fingers curled around the wheel.

I jumped when his hand moved to grip the stick shift , curling on the knob and yanking it back with force. I swallowed, thighs pressing together as my mind shifted to that night in Hoseok’s club. I hated myself for how often I relived it. And not always with disgust.

My fingers fell on the ring on his finger. His engagement ring, I thought with a pang. Lisa. Beautiful, wonderful Lisa who had been a dear friend . Once. For all her shortcomings I knew she loved the man who sat next to me. Cared deeply for him, even. Why else would she do this to me? She must have strong feelings for him , if it had prompted her to throw away our friendship of over a decade.

“You’re cheating on her then.” I said quietly. His reminder to not talk to him rang in my head but I couldn’t stop myself. He wasn’t a stranger. And that ring…the ring that promised to bind two people forever….. I’d worn it too. For him.

Jungkook didn’t reply, merely glancing at me in passing.

I sighed, looking at my knees, feeling my shoulders tremble a bit.

“Is she going to be there?” I asked quietly.

He exhaled sharply. I noticed the way his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“No.” He said shortly.

“She lives with you right? You said we’re going home ….then where is she-“

“What is this, twenty fucking questions?” He snapped and I swallowed. “ I’m not taking you home to my fiancée Elena, do I look like a fucking idiot? “ He shook his head.

Before I could demand more answers, he was pulling over into a side alley. I watched as he carefully parked the car before stepping out. Second later, he was coming around and opening the door.

I stared at him, gripping the hem of my blouse, tight. My stomach twisted into knots.

“Can’t you just let me go?” I whispered softly, pride forgotten in the wake of my tiredness. Jungkook stared at me, face eerily blank.

“Get out of the car.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Like it?” He asked softly and I stood on the threshold, taking in the lavishly decorated apartment on the top floor of the building. I noticed the portrait right up front, a large full sized photo of me and Jungkook from nearly a decade ago, wrapped around each other in a hug , showing off our engagement bands.

“What is this?”

“It was supposed to be your wedding gift. From me. I bought it for you. Nine years ago. Thought you should see it.” He said quietly.

I stayed perfectly still , as he wrapped his hands around me in a hug.

“Why did you leave me, Elena?” He asked quietly and I felt my throat go dry.

“Why do you still have this place? Get rid of it.” I snapped. He laughed at that , pulling away and turning me around till I stared at him.

“ Will you stay here, with me?” He asked softly and I froze.

“You’re out of your mind.” I said shortly.

He hummed.

“Possibly. But then, the problem is this. If I tell you , you can’t leave this place ever again….There’s not much you can do about it, right?” He said thoughtfully and I felt a sob building in my chest.

“I… Don’t.” I said shakily.

“You should see the bedroom. Come.”

His fingers wrapped around my wrist dragging me past the lavish couch and sofa, past a well kept bar onto a wide hallway dimly lit. He stopped at the second door on the right, reaching out to open the lock. The room was plunged in darkness and I hesitated.

“Go on… After you, Mrs. Jeon.” He said softly . I could feel distaste creeping up my spine at the name, shivering a bit as I stepped into the darkness.

“Can you imagine, if we’d gotten married. This is what our first night together would be like…” He pressed against my back, arms coming around me , so gentle that I shivered.

“Jungkook…what are you doing?” I asked shakily.

“Shush…. “ He whispered, moving to unbutton my blouse again. I grabbed his wrists quickly.

“We aren’t married. I’m not your wife.” I said sharply and I felt him go still behind me.

“Shut your mouth and play along like a good girl.” He said quietly. He shook my hands off, moving to undo the buttons again.

Not sure what he expected, I stayed perfectly still as he hummed, pressing soft feather light kisses down my jaw and past my shoulders. His hands stroked up and down my arm as he laughed .

“Did you miss me Elena…..all these years…” He said quietly. “ Because I missed you. So much.”

He hugged me close, tight and hard.

“Are you scared?” He whispered, “ honey?”

“Oh, God…” I choked out, nausea rising up in my throat at the endearment.

“My wife…” He whispered, pressing a few more kisses against my skin before pushing me a bit towards the bed. “ Should I turn on the lights? I wanna see you.”

He nudged me towards the bed and my legs gave out when I hit the edge of it, legs turning to jelly as I sat on it, shaky and creeped out and terrified. Jungkook moved to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, a soft golden glow lighting up the bed .

“Look at you… so beautiful.” He whispered and I watched as he tugged off his shirt, before moving to his belt. He was watching me like I was something precious. Like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“What are you doing?” I asked quietly and he smiled, running his fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest. He stopped at a large ornate tiger lily, inscribed right over his heart.

“Do you like it?” he said softly. “ I got this for you. My Elena…. As delicate as a lily and as brave as a tiger.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“Either fuck me or let me go, I’m not here to talk about-“

He slapped me, so hard that my head whipped to the side, my face feeling like it had caught fire. I gasped, the pain spreading all over my jaw and I couldn’t quite grasp what had just happened. I pressed shaky fingers to the throbbing skin near my mouth, eyes watering at the sting.

“Didn’t I tell you to play along, angel?” He whispered sharply and I closed my eyes , shuddering.

Play along. Do it if you want to get out of here alive. ‘

Fucking psychopath.

“ It’s beautiful, Jungkook.” I whispered softly, glancing at him with teary eyes. He nodded.

“We’ll get one for you too. A wolf. With the initials JK on it…. Right here…” He lightly traced a path over my collarbone and I hoped to God, this was some sick fantasy. That he wasn’t seriously considering tattooing his initials on me.

“Strip for me baby… All of it. I want to see you.” He whispered and I hesitated just long enough to take a deep breath. I reached back, quickly undoing my bra clasp and pulling the fabric off. I hooked my thumbs into my skirt and my panties, tugging both of them off me, swiftly. I dropped all of it on the floor next to the bed, before moving to kneel in the middle of the bed, staring at him with a smile that felt physically painful.

“I’m going to make you feel good, baby.” He whispered quietly, crawling over on top of me.

“Lay down for me.” He said, and I felt repulsed, as he kissed my lips, soft and gentle, pressing in till I was flat on my back, legs parted so he could lie in between.

It was so different from last time and somehow ten times worse.

Jungkook pressed kisses all over my face, whispering gentle words against my skin that felt like acid.

“So beautiful…. Mine. You were always mine Elena. Mine to touch and mine to break . Mine to love and mine to fuck.”

I stared as he loomed over, his face inches from mine, his gaze deceptively affectionate, his eyes warm and almost soft. I watched as he came closer, his lips closing over mine. Instinctively I kept my lips together but his fingers curled around my thigh, squeezing hard enough to make me whimper, lips parting . He pressed his tongue in then , licking into my mouth and I brought my hands up, instinctively wrapping around the bare skin of his shoulders and my body thrummed at the feeling of his muscles under my fingers.

Curiosity made me foolish, and I found myself tracing the hills and valleys of his skin, fascinated by the way the muscles flexed, every time he moved his arm.

“You like that? I worked hard on those…” He chuckled, watching me curl my fingers around his biceps. He was so… big. I moved my fingers up to the hardness of his chest, splaying my palm on his pecs and my fingers caught a hard little scar, almost perfectly round and deep.

“What is this…” I asked , curious my finger dipping into the healed skin and he hummed.

“Your father . He shot me when I was chasing his car down in Jeju Do. Foolish bastard. Thought he could outrun me.” He laughed .

I glanced at him, catching his eyes and the ebbing laughter , my heart twisting.

“Then why am I here? You hate my father. You killed my entire family. So why am I here, Jungkook?” I asked foolishly, my heart breaking a bit and he hesitated.

“Because you’re mine.” He said simply.

I closed my eyes in despair.

“If this was our wedding night…. What would you say…?” He asked suddenly.

I stared at him, confused.

“What?”

“If we got married back then… When you were eighteen. And it was our first night together….. what would you say?”

I sighed.

“I’d ask you to ….to be gentle.” I whispered.

He nodded.

“Tell me , then.”

I stared at him, feeling helpless.

“Go on, Elena.” He said again.

“Jungkook…” I began but he shook his head.

“Ggukkie.” He said softly. “ Call me GGukkie… That’s what you used to call me …when we were young.”

I clenched my fists, on his chest, resisting the urge to push him off. That wouldn’t end well for me.

“GGukkie…” I whispered, finally, glancing up at him, licking my lips and parting them gently, eyes as wide as they could go, “ you know its my first time right?”

Jungkook’s eyes fairly danced at that and he hummed, leaning closer.

“Is it, baby?” He asked, reaching up to brush my hair away, fingers gentle on my face.

Get into it. Get into it and get it over with.

“You know it is…” I pouted, “ No one else can touch me. I’m yours , aren’t I GGukkie…”

He laughed, rubbing his nose against mine.

“That you are, kitten.”

Kitten? That’s a new one.

Shut up and stay in character , fuck.

I was so fucking screwed.

“ So… will you be gentle?” I whispered , “ I don’t want it to hurt.”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me rolling over and taking me with him till I was lying flat on top of him.

“Then how about this angel? You can ride me…. As slow and gentle as you like. Make yourself feel good on my cock, yeah….?”

I stared at him.

I’m gonna fuck you and you’re going to do all the work.

He’d played me like a fiddle.

“Well baby? Go on…. Take my pants off.”

I exhaled angrily, before moving down, to tug on his pants. He helped me take them off kicking off his boxer briefs as well.

That’s a beautiful dick. Objectively. Very pretty.

Shut the fuck up.

“ Get it wet for me baby….” He said softly. I glanced down at the hard length of it, jutting out of the small thatch of hair and felt my mouth go dry . Which would be counterproductive if I wanted to get it wet. So I swirled my tongue around my mouth, trying to get my mouth moist, before leaning down and carefully wrapping my lips around the head.

Fuck, he tastes good.

I shook my head a bit to clear the voice in my head, glancing up at him with my lips stretched around the soft pink head and he was looking right back at me, eyes heavy and dark .

“Go on baby, take more of it in, use your tongue…make me feel good.”

I closed my eyes, letting the spit coat the hard length of his cock, sinking down till the tip began to inch down my throat. I sucked lightly, running my tongues back and forth on whatever skin I could touch and it was like sucking a lollipop except the lollipop was thick enough to stretch my mouth wide and hit the back of my throat.

I felt his hand reach into my hair, gripping hard and I whimpered.

“Be gentle…” I whispered, pulling off and his eyebrows shot up , clearly in surprise . He stared at me for a second, as though considering my request and then his fingers loosened , threading through the strands soothingly.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered . I went back to sucking him off, somehow my natural tendency to work hard making me bob up and down, using my tongue and taking him as deep as I could. I felt a sick sort of satisfaction when he moaned in pleasure and for some damn reason I wanted to draw more sounds out of him.

This is a dream. Either that or you tripped over a pothole and fell into another dimension.

“ Are you wet ? Come here, so I can check….” Jungkook said softly and I pulled off moving up to straddle his hips. I flinched when he reached down, tracing my slit with carefully fingers before slipping in two. I tightened against the intrusion, still sore on the inside and he pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to my mouth.

“Suck…and get them nice and wet if you don’t want it to hurt.” He said quietly and I wrapped my lips around his fingers, letting my spit coat the slender digits.

When he pushed them back into me, the slide was easier , wetter and I gripped his shoulders, trying to relax around him. It felt foreign but also good… I felt good…

I stared down at him, the broad muscled body and the handsome face and for a crazy moment I imagine what it would have been, if I had married him. Would it have been this….this… weird pleasure that was somehow both painful and exhilarating at the same time. I bit my lips as he curled his fingers inside me, rubbing at some spot high up inside me that sent heat shooting straight up my spine, slick dripping out of me and onto the hard planes of his stomach like honey from a comb.

“Now sit on my cock.” He said quietly. I trembled, reaching down to lightly grip his cock, moving till the head lined up right against my slit or where I thought my slit was. Biting my lips, I lowered my body, feeling my body cleave to let him in, his cock pressing in and in and in.

My knees gave out and I slid down the length of him, the sudden, incredible fullness knocking the breath right out of me.

“ Fuck…baby….you alright?” He whispered and it messed with my head, the way he actually looked concerned and worried and I couldn’t take anymore of it.

“Please… Please… I just… I want to go home…” I whimpered, feeling full and stretched out, my thighs trembling and my insides wet and warm and somehow stuck between wanting more and wanting it to end.

Jungkook grunted, fingers curling over both my hips and lifting me lightly and with ease.

“Come on baby…. Ride me….” He whispered, “ Put your hands on my chest and roll your hips, up and down .”

I did as he said, one hand braced against his chest, the other gripping his shoulder as I tried to move on him but it was hopeless. I had no energy or inclination to do this and the pleasure was fast ebbing into frustration. Jungkook seemed to sense it because he growled.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking bad at this… Fine… Just lay there and let me use that stupid cunt of yours.” He snapped, gripping my waist and folding his knees just enough to brace his feet on the bed. I gasped as I got lifted a bit , his cock slipping in impossibly deeper , the tip nudging close to my cervix , the lightest brush of it send sharp jolts of electric pain pleasure up my spine.

“Oh fuck,..” I breathed as he pistoned into me, hips hitting my ass with brutal force as he fucked up into me and I could only tremble, eyes fluttering shut, fingers going numb from how hard I was gripping him.

“You’re gonna cum today… I’m gonna make you cum on my cock…” He growled, reaching down and pressing his thumb against my clit, rubbing softly, slow circles that were almost gentle compared to the brutal pounding oh his hips and I felt my mouth go slack, wetness slipping out of my tongue and dripping down my chin because of how excruciatingly good it felt, having him so deep, pressing in against the edge of my womb and I and to press my palm, right up against my belly , stunned because of how my body seemed to open and shift to make room for him.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, right inside your womb, fuck…. Gonna carry my babies for me, right sweetheart? Gonna watch you get round and full with my seed , watch you drip milk all over me with those beautiful tits….fuck…”

The shock of his words sent me over the edge, my body clenching down on him as I came, my orgasm so strong that I felt like I was cramping up on the inside and I toppled forward onto him, landing on his chest and bouncing a bit. Jungkook grunted a little, wrapping both his arms around me, holding close as he fucked me right through the aftershocks, body stilling only when I stopped shuddering and I felt warm wetness spill inside me, so deep that I knew I would have to swallow three morning after pills after this, although I was on birth control.

Because one could never be too sure with these things.

Jungkook stayed still under me and it took me a few seconds to catch my breath. I finally levered myself off of him, legs shaking as I rolled over and onto the bed before breathing in huge lungfuls of air.

“Can I go?” I choked out.

Jungkook grunted. “ Get the fuck out of here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I stumbled out of the cab, exhausted and out of my mind with self loathing, I didn’t expect to see Hoseok sitting on the pavement outside the bakery, leaning against a streetlight, face warm but determined.

“Hobi?” I asked stunned. “ What are you-“

He cut me off with a kiss.

I stared wide eyed as he pulled me into an embrace, wrapping me in warmth and scent of his cologne, his hands impossibly gentle around me as he all but cradled me against his body, his lips moving gently against mine.

“Elena…” He breathed against my lips, eyes glinting . “ I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years. I’m so fucking sorry for being such a coward but you deserve to know… you deserve to know how I feel about you.”

I stared at him in disbelief, my heart pounding as I punched his chest in desperation.

“No… No fuck you… what are you doing…. He’ll kill you…” I hissed and he tightened his arms around me.

“I don’t care.” He hissed. “ I don’t… I can’t just… I can’t let him hurt you like this. I won’t. I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him to let you go or lose our friendship.” He said angrily and I trembled.

My heart raced because Hoseok was the only one I’d ever loved. In every way a girl could love a boy. He was and had always been this confusing breed of brother and friend while everyone had drooled after Jeon Jungkook , I’d always been drawn to him…drawn to his quiet strength and to the way he had always treated me as an equal…

But… but Jungkook…. Jungkook who would put a bullet in his brain without a thought if he thought that Hoseok was trying to move in on something that belonged to him…..

“Hoseok…just… Don’t. I… I love you too…” I breathed out, tired and scared and so fucking worried because what if someone was listening even now..what if word got to Jungkook and he tried to hurt ….i couldn’t even think it.

“Come find me when Jungkook is busy . When he can’t find us…” I said softly, reaching out and pressing my palm against his face.

“I’m not scared of him.” Hoseok growled and it was ridiculous.

“But I’m scared of losing you. “ I said quickly. “ We can’t… He can’t know. Ever.”

Hoseok nodded before pulling me close again.

“Was he too rough?” He whispered and I blinked, flushing. I shook my head.

“No.. I. No. I think…”

“I hate that he was the one to touch you, first. You.. You deserve to know how good it can be…. How gentle.. I want to… fuck…” He shook his head pulling away and I wrapped my arms around myself.

“We can’t…” I said quietly. “ you know we can’t.”

He glanced at me, eyes blazing and lips parted and I groaned.

“Don’t look at me like that Hobi…” I whispered, shaking my head.

“Tomorrow. He’s going to Jeju Do , to inspect a new resort. He won’t be back till the day after. Call in sick at work.” He said quietly and I bit my lips, feeling a bit like a whole idiot.

I nodded.

He reached forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

No self preservation skills at all, I thought miserably.

If Jungkook found out…….

Author’s Note : I’ll add the taglist here tomorrow

#bts smut #bts fanfics #bts fics #bts #jungkook smut #jungkook #bts scenarios #jungkook fics #bts fanfic

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