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pedroscurls · 2 years ago

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Title: One Drunken Night (Part 7.)

CHAPTER TITLE: Finally

Character(s): Joel Miller (pre-apocalypse, au) and Reader (third-person POV), also a brief cameo from Negan Summary: Joel and Reader navigate their new relationship after finding out the sex of the baby. Word Count: 4,606 Author's Note: As the title suggests... It’s finally here! Warning: Negan being an asshole, but at least Joel finally gets it in. (pregnant) SMUT ;)

Joel wasn’t expecting those words to leave her lips. He didn’t know what to say as his mind drifted to Negan. He had to wonder if she told him and how this would change everything.

But he couldn’t help but notice the look on her face. She was worried, scared, lost and Joel wanted nothing more than just to pull her back into his arms and reassure her that things would be okay, but he wasn’t sure it would be.

Joel noticed the tears beginning to pool at her eyes once more and instinctually, he reached for her hand.

“Hey, hey… It’s alright, darlin’.”

She shook her head, pulling away. “It’s not, Joel! I’m fucking pregnant… How can I be so stupid? What in the hell was I thinking?”

He sighed. Joel didn’t know how to console her, so instead, he decided to just listen.

“I’m scared,” she whispered. “I don’t– I don’t think I’m gonna be a good mom. I’m such a mess. I’m still trying to establish myself in my career as a photographer. How am I going to take care of someone else? To be responsible for another little human being?”

Joel bit the inside of his cheek. He thought back to the moment he found out he was going to be a dad and it had also scared him, but all of his concerns and worries disappeared when he held Sarah for the first time. He had never loved someone as much as he did Sarah.

“Hey, how ‘bout we take a breath for a second?” Joel said softly, noticing the panicked look on her face.

“Come on, darlin’...” Joel took her hands. He looked directly into her eyes and took a deep breath, watching her do the same. “That’s good,” he added, seeing her slow her breaths as she began to calm down.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking down at their hands.

“What for?”

“Not returning your calls or messages. For our date. For everything.”

Joel sighed. He couldn’t believe she was the one apologizing when she didn’t do anything wrong.

“You ain’t gotta apologize for anything.” He began, “I shouldn’t have gotten upset. We never established anything, so you were entitled to see who you wanna see, be with who you wanna be with and I just–” Joel took a deep breath and looked away. “I got jealous.”

“Why?”

Joel then turned his attention back to her. He wanted to kiss her, to tell her how much he adored her and how much he loved her, but he couldn’t. Especially not right now with everything going on.

“I don’t know. I just– I just think you deserve the world,” he sighed. “Sorry, that was cheesy.”

She flashed him a small smile and looked down at herself. “What am I gonna do, Joel?”

“What do you wanna do, darlin’? It’s your body. You decide what you want.”

She bit her lower lip. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to fail. What if I’m not a good mom?”

Joel tilted his head. He dropped her hand to cup her cheek, running his thumb across her cheek. “Honestly, darlin’, I think you’d be an amazing mom. Know why?”

“Why?” She leaned into his touch.

“‘Cause you’re thoughtful and caring, always making sure everyone is okay before you even think about yourself.” He leaned stepped closer to her, keeping his eyes solely on hers. “And I’ll be here with you, every step of the way.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You ain’t askin’. I’m offerin’.”

“But–”

Joel shook his head. “I’m not leavin’ your side, darlin’. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll be right here with you.”

She nodded, moving to rest her head against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his frame and sighed contentedly, inhaling his scent as it filled her senses. It wasn’t until this moment that she felt that no matter what she decided, Joel was going to be there for her. It gave her a sense of reassurance, a sense of safety to know that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Truthfully, Joel had become her safe place and while she was so deeply in love with the man, she couldn’t help but that her mind also drifted to Negan. She thought back to their last conversation and how he had mentioned that he had a lot going on and couldn’t be the person she wanted him to be.

It hurt more now that she knew she was carrying his baby. She wanted to call him, to let him know that he was going to be a father, but for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to contact him. It was like every time she got close enough to dial his number, something always interrupted her and so, she took that as a sign to leave him alone.

“Can you stay?” She asked quietly.

“Whatever you want, darlin’.”

She brought him to her bedroom and laid down on her bed. Joel hesitated for a moment until she reached a hand out for him. He took that as a sign that she wanted him next to her and so, he removed his boots and climbed into her bed. The line of being just friends had been crossed the night of their date and when he felt her snuggle closer to him, Joel had no regrets. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and felt her arm drape over his midsection.

This felt normal. It felt like home to him, like this was where they both were supposed to be.

The silence consumed them. She felt comfortable being next to him, in his arms and she shut her eyes. She finally felt like she could relax and despite the plenty of thoughts running through her mind, she felt oddly at ease in Joel’s arms. The past couple of days were exhausting and she finally allowed herself to rest. With her cheek resting against Joel’s chest and her arm draped over him, she slowly fell asleep.

Joel, on the other hand, glanced down at her to see her eyes were shut. When he heard her breaths slow down and a quiet snore coming from her, he smiled. He didn’t know what this meant for them, but Joel meant every single word he told her. He wasn’t going anywhere and whatever she decided, he was going to support her and be there for her no matter what.

She was worth it.

And Joel was ready to take a risk with her.

—

The first trimester had been a tough one on her, but she was lucky that Joel had been there for her every single day. Sometimes, she would wake up in the middle of the night with a random craving to find Joel lying on the couch, his arm draped over his eyes and a quiet snore filtering her quiet living room. He had been spending the night a couple of days every week, just to make sure that she was okay. Their feelings for each other though, just heightened and the tension was thick in the air.

Since finding out she was pregnant, she knew that she couldn’t be in a relationship with Joel. It wasn’t fair to him and she believed that he deserved better than her. Instead, she forced herself to believe that he was truly just a good friend, ensuring that her first three months of pregnancy would go as smoothly as it could.

Today, though, would mark the middle of her second trimester and she had a doctor’s appointment where they would find out the sex of the baby. That morning, Joel had cooked her breakfast, watching her enter the kitchen. There was a sense of glow around her and Joel always found himself staring a minute longer than he should.

“Mornin’,” he called out. “You hungry?”

“Always.”

Joel served her a plate, watching her lips turn into a wide grin. It made him happy to know that he could make her smile, make her laugh. It felt good.

“Waffles?!” She said excitedly.

“I was in the mood for somethin’ sweet,'' he smiled, sitting next to her. “And I know it’s your favorite.”

“Lucky me.” She leaned against him, bringing her fork up to her lips. She let out a quiet moan, which caught Joel’s attention immediately. “So good.”

He nodded, shifting in his seat. It had been great spending most nights at her place and as her baby bump was becoming noticeable, Joel found himself falling deeper.

“Are you sure you wanna come with me?” She asked in between bites.

“I haven’t missed an appointment yet. I’m not missin’ this one.”

She smiled. “But I just– You don’t have to do this, you know? It’s my responsibility and–”

Joel shook his head, interrupting her. “You ain’t getting rid of me, darlin’. I want this.”

“But–”

“But nothin’ darlin’.” Joel turned to face her, letting a small smile line his lips at the sight of her. She looked up at him and once more, he was captivated by her big eyes.

“You’re too good to me.” She dropped her eyes to his lips, clearing her throat quietly. Joel had taken such good care of her and while neither of them had made a move, the tension lingered, almost serving a a reminder of what could be if they crossed that line together.

“You deserve everything and more, darlin’.” His voice came out as a whisper and he inched closer, their lips mere inches from one another.

“Joel, I–”

“We should get going.” Joel had to pull himself out of the trance, of that moment, and while he yearned to close the distance, they needed to have a conversation first. He didn’t want to dive into this without having a serious conversation of what they both wanted.

She sighed quietly and took a couple of more bites of her food. “We find out if this baby is a boy or a girl..”

Joel nodded, helping her out of her apartment and into his car. “Just remember, you ain’t alone.”

—

“So, do we want to know who we’ve got in here?” The doctor asked, pulling Y/N out her thoughts as the baby’s heartbeat filtered the room.

“Um…” She bit her lower lip anxiously. This was increasingly becoming more real and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for it. Though, when she looked over at Joel and noticed him looking back at her, she felt herself relax a bit.

“Whatever you wanna do,” he reassured.

“Y–Yeah.” She finally replied. “We want to know.”

The doctor gave her a warm smile and turned her attention back to the screen. She let a smile line her lips and took a photo so that Y/N and Joel could go home with a picture.

“Well…” The doctor began, turning to look at Y/N and Joel. “We’ve got a healthy, little girl in here. Congratulations.”

Y/N felt tears sting her eyes, looking over at Joel who looked emotional as well. “A girl…” she whispered. “Wow…”

“Everything also looks great,” the doctor added. “I’ll see you again next month.”

Back at the apartment, neither Joel or Y/N said anything. Joel, while he was happy, felt an intense sadness. His mind drifted to Sarah and he immediately went straight to the living room to his things, falling back against the couch. Y/N followed, biting her lower lip anxiously as she saw him lie back with his arm draped over his eyes.

“Joel…” She called out quietly. She knew what he was thinking and she sighed to herself. He didn’t need to deal with this, especially not after Sarah. It wasn’t fair to him. “Maybe you should go… I can do this by myself. You’ve done so much already–”

Joel sat up, looking over at her with his hair disheveled and his eyes softening at the sight of her. He was on the verge of a breakdown, but he tried to pull himself together. For the safe of Y/N.

“No… I’ll be fine.”

“Joel–”

“I’m stayin’.”

“Then, we need to talk. About everything. Things just became that much more real, Joel.”

He sighed in response, looking away from her to wipe his eyes before any tears decided to make their way down his face. Joel took a deep breath and motioned for her to sit next to him. When she did, Joel immediately pulled her to his side, his arms wrapped around her. They stayed like this for a couple of minutes, the silence engulfing them, both minds drifting.

Joel thought of Sarah.

Y/N thought of her unborn daughter.

Joel wondered if he could do this again. It wasn’t even his child, but he committed to being there for Y/N and now, he couldn’t imagine leaving. Though, that didn’t mean it didn’t scare him.

It had been years since he lost Sarah and he was sure he never fully recovered. Everyday, her absence was noticeable and now here he was, with the woman he loved and her unborn daughter. He had to make a choice in this moment and as he kept his eyes solely on her, he knew what decision had to be made.

Joel was all in.

Y/N moved her eyes away from him, staring off into the distance. Her mind shifted to Negan, remembering their last conversation and how hurt she was after their brief talk. It was painful to hear him say such things and she vowed to never tell Joel.

She had called Negan about a month ago, deciding that he needed to know but he kept rejecting her calls. It wasn’t until one late night that he finally called her back. Luckily for her, Joel wasn’t spending the night that day and so he didn’t have to bear witness to the crying mess that Negan caused.

“Why the fuck do you keep calling me?” Negan spat. He was angry, frustrated, but not at anyone in particular. Only himself. Being with Lucille and seeing the pain she had to endure everyday took a toll on him and he felt helpless; what could he possibly do?

“I was– It’s a bit late, can we talk about this tomorrow? Maybe in person?”

“No. We’re talking now. Now, answer the fucking question, doll. I told you. We’re done.” Negan didn’t mean to hurt her, but he was just so frustrated with the world and it was proven that he never really knew how to deal with his emotions. Instead, he was destructive whenever problems arose. Either he got shitfaced drunk, got into an altercation with a random person, or a yelling match with Lucille.

He sighed. Lucille. His Lucille. Sick, in pain, and he couldn’t do anything about it. The universe had a funny way of punishing him. He really wished he could switch places with Lucille; he didn’t deserve to be healthy with the amount of mistakes he made.

“Are you okay?” She asked, only angering him further. “I really think we should talk in person. I understand that it’s over. I don’t want–”

He laughed. Y/N furrowed a brow and wondered what truly was going on. “I don’t ever want to see your fucking face ever again.”

“W–What?” Tears built in her eyes. She hadn’t known Negan that long, but she did genuinely like him and enjoyed his company. He could make her laugh and his smile always gave her butterflies in her tummy. She wasn’t certainly expecting this type of reaction and it made her emotional. She didn’t want to get back with him–not that they were in an exclusive relationship–but Y/N understood that when he ended “things”, there was no going back.

She just thought that he deserved to know he was going to be a father.

“Don’t fucking call me. Leave me the fuck alone. Got it?”

“Negan, I’m–”

“You’re what? Desperate?” He laughed again. “You have me a couple of times and that's all it takes for you to be whipped? Come on, doll. You got Joel. Or wait… Don’t tell he hadn’t made his move yet?” Once again, his laughter could be heard from the other end of the phone. “That coward.”

“Is this who you really are?” She asked, tears now strolling down her cheeks.

“All me, baby.” Negan replied. “Don’t be so surprised.”

“You’re a liar,” she replied. “Something’s going on and–”

“You don’t even fucking know me!” He yelled, which caused her to grip the phone. “We barely fucking know each other, so don’t act like you know who I am.”

“You’re right. I fucking don’t.” She finally argued back, anger bubbling within her and the thought that she was carrying his baby just simply terrified her. She wanted to tell him what was going on because she believed he deserved to know, but now… She made the decision to keep it from him. Her child didn’t need to be around him, especially if he was now treating her like this.

“Great. Now, leave me the fuck alone and don’t call me again.”

“Gladly, asshole.”

She was pulled out of her reverie when Joel called her name. She looked up at him, biting her lower lip as she leaned further against him instead. She found comfort being in his arms, against his broad chest. He felt safe. He felt like home.

“I know this ain’t my kid, but… I’m– I’m a bit scared.” He admitted. “I’m all in. I want you to know that, but it’s just–”

“Sarah,” she whispered, finishing his sentence for her.

“Yeah, Sarah…”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Joel, but you’ve been by my side from the beginning. I’m so grateful, but…”

“But?”

“I don’t want to put you in a position you aren’t comfortable with. This baby… She’s my responsibility,” she repeated. “And I don’t want this to bring up bad memories for you or make you confront things you don’t want to confront.” She sighed.

Joel didn’t know how to respond. All he could think about was Sarah and how much he missed her. He glanced over at Y/N and bit his lower lip. He pulled away for a moment and looked into her eyes.

“I’m gonna be real honest with you and I’m not sure where it’ll leave us afterwards, but you gotta know.” He stood from the couch to sit at the edge of the coffee table to face her.

“I was miserable for years after Sarah died,” Joel began. “I just– I did what I needed to get by, but I wasn’t living. I wasn’t happy.”

She reached out for him and Joel gladly took her hand. It was comforting, knowing that he could express himself this way. Joel was being vulnerable and he rarely ever let his guards down, but when he looked into her eyes, he felt safe. Her big eyes were staring back at him, reassuring him that he was safe with her. It made his heart flutter; it was as if her eyes were telling him, “I’m here. You’re okay. I got you.” She didn’t need to say those words for Joel to know, instead, she showed it through her actions and emotions.

He was so lucky.

“But then I met you.” Joel finally added. “And you just– You’re just such an amazing woman and you’ve helped me become… Happy again, darlin’. I started having better days because of you, so I’m in this.” He kept his eyes solely on hers and gently squeezed her hand.

“But I am scared. I won’t lie to you. I’m fuckin’ scared, darlin’, because I just don’t wanna fail you or your baby girl like I did with…” Joel felt his breath catch in his throat, only looking away once he felt tears stinging his eyes.

“You won’t,” she replied quickly. “And you didn’t fail Sarah. It was a tragic accident– That man shouldn’t have been drinking and driving anyway. You were both just at the wrong place at the wrong time. You couldn’t have known.” She tried to console him, to reassure him that Sarah’s death wasn’t his fault.

“I wanna do right by you,” Joel whispered.

“You’ll always be a good man to me, Joel.”

“You– You really believe that?”

“You could never disappoint me… And this baby… She’s going to be so lucky to have you in her life.”

Joel bit his lower lip and looked back up in her direction. She was so confident and trusted him so much that it almost scared him, but looking at her, he knew she meant every word. He noticed her leaning in and Joel’s lips lifted upwards.

“I know things are a bit complicated, but I just want you to know… I like you.” She added. “I’ve always had a thing for you, Joel, and I’m tired of hiding it. I don’t expect anything and I’m just–”

Joel interrupted her by leaning in to press his lips against hers, finally closing the distance. He dropped her hand to cup her cheek, moving his lips slowly with hers. He took his time, their lips moving in sync as they both reveled in this moment. It was a long time coming and neither Joel or Y/N knew it would be this good. This amazing. This electrifying.

Once again, it felt like home.

Joel pulled away to look at her, breathless and filled with desire. She looked into his eyes and bit her lower lip, feeling a sudden need building within her.

“I like you too, darlin’.” In fact, he loved her, but he didn’t want to just abruptly say it. So, instead, Joel decided to take it slow, but the way she was looking at him, he knew that she loved him too and it made him feel extremely happy.

And it had been a very long time since he felt this way.

“Can we– Um…” She blushed, biting her lower lip. “I really want you, Joel.”

Joel’s eyes widened slightly. He knew they should take things slow, but his lower half ached, yearning for her. It had been such a long time that he was probably sure that he wouldn’t last long, but with the way she was looking at him, biting her lower lip, Joel needed her just as bad as she needed him.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded eagerly. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Joel smiled, “Well then, darlin’, I suppose I shouldn’t keep you waiting anymore.”

Joel stood from the coffee table, feeling his pants get tighter at the thought of what was about to happen. He dropped a hand down, readjusting himself and noticing where Y/N’s eyes went immediately. She licked her lips and he extended a hand out for her, which she took eagerly.

“Lead the way, darlin’.”

She smiled, lacing their hands together as she led him down the hallway and to her bedroom. Once there, she gently pushed him against her bed and watched him fall back with a quiet chuckle. He leaned up on his forearms, watching as she began to remove her clothes. He shifted on the bed, undoing his belt and button to relieve some pressure.

Y/N dropped her pants, along with her panties and kept her sweater on.

“Is this weird?” She asked quietly.

“What?” Joel asked, forcing himself to look away from her now exposed her lower half.

She giggled. “We’re about to have sex and I’m pregnant. Is that okay?”

Joel tilted his head. “I don’t see a problem with it. You’re beautiful either way.”

She smiled, feeling a blush spread across her cheeks. When Joel removed his t-shirt and lowered his jeans, she had to squeeze her legs at the sight. His chest was broad and had a bit of chest hair, but it was just enough. She licked her lips as her eyes raked over the planes of his abdomen to the trail of hair disappearing into his boxers. She couldn’t believe this was about to happen. She had only dreamt of this moment and now that it was happening, she tried to keep her excitement at bay.

Though, the wetness between her legs served as a reminder of just how ready she was for him.

“It’s been a while,” he warned. “I wanna make sure you’re taken care of, but–”

She shook her head, stepping to him and leaning down to press her lips against him. He groaned, pulling her onto his lap once he kicked off his boxers. He felt his tip brush against her soaking heat, moaning against her lips.

“I’m sure I won’t last long either,” she reassured him. She rolled her hips, feeling his tip brush against her repeatedly. It wasn’t until Joel grasped his member to line himself up that she lowered herself down onto him.

The feeling was indescribable. Their eyes were locked onto one another as she continued to push herself down onto him until the hilt. His girth stretched her from the inside, making her insides tingle. Her walls tightened around him, causing Joel to groan aloud.

God, she felt amazing and Joel wanted more.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his hands moving to her hips to gently lift her up and down along his length. The speed was slow, intimate, and allowed her to feel every inch.

“Joel…” She moaned. Joel bit his lower lip, his fingertips digging into her hips. The way his name left her lips left him wanting to hear more of it so he snapped his hips upwards, causing her to gasp aloud. “Oh god…”

“You feel amazing,” he smiled, leaning up to press his lips against hers as he kept her hips in place. Joel began thrusting upwards, the sounds of their skin slapping against each other and their moans filtered her bedroom and both were nearing their climax.

“Joel… Oh god…” She pulled away from the kiss to press her hands onto his chest. She arched her back and moved her hips along him in a rhythmic motion. Joel remained still, watching her lustfully as her hips rolled against him, causing him to groan aloud. The way her hips moved against him expertly made him near his release.

“Darlin’... Baby, I’m close,” Joel whimpered. He held her in place, slowly rolling her onto her back as he slammed into her. As she laid back with her hair splayed against her sheets and her expression twisted into sheer pleasure, Joel felt accomplished.

“Joel!” She exclaimed, her walls tightening further around him as she reached her climax. Joel groaned, delivering a few harsh thrusts before he quickly pulled out to release along her inner thigh. God, it had been so long and already, he was yearning for more.

He leaned down to press a soft kiss onto her lips before he stood to walk to her bathroom, grabbing a towel to bring back to her. She reached out for the towel, but Joel shook his head and gently cleaned his release from her. She smiled to herself, looking up at him as she allowed her breathing to slow down.

“Good?” Joel asked, finally breaking the silence and lying back with her. He had pulled on his boxers and he pulled her into his arms, feeling her snuggle against him. Y/N embraced his warmth, her cheek resting against his skin as she peppered kisses along his chest.

“Amazing,” she replied. “We’re doing that again.”

Joel let out a breath of relief and leaned down to peck her lips. “So, we’re doing this…”

She nodded. “I would want nothing more.”

Joel smiled. “Me too, darlin’. Me too.”

---

Part 8.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged!): @kaitebugg03, @a-girl-interupted, @igotbasicdrag, @darkshadow6200, @fandomoniumflurry, @xhannahbananax03, @quinnverses, @xojdmasf

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller pre-apocalypse #joel miller au #the last of us crossover #twd x tlou #tlou x twd #story: one drunken night

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fvckuiloveu · 7 months ago

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god i love pathetic men

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dreamtofus · 8 months ago

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I just want to thank anyone and everyone who writes fanfic

like wdym this masterpiece is FREE

ps reblog ur fav fics.

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hauntingoldhouses · 4 months ago

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I have a type and I think it is quite obvious...

#older men do it better #daryl dixon #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #joel miller #the last of us #tlou #joel tlou #arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption two #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan x reader #joel miller x reader #daryl dixon x reader

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abbysslvt · 2 years ago

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"I don't have a type-"

oh apocalyptic father figures...

#joel miller #rick grimes #joel miller x reader #rick grimes x reader #apocolyptic father figures make me drool #i need them both in my bed right now!!#the walking dead #twd #the last of us #tlou

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naughtyneganjdm · 3 days ago

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Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 5

Summary: After their date, Y/N takes Negan back home with her where the two of them try to get lost in one another, but have to tackle some obstacles along the way.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Elizabeth, Joel Miller (Mentions), Tommy Miller (mentions), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/155078377

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Smut, Oral, Angst, Uncomfortable Situations, Unprotected P in V, etc.

Notes: There is no Joel in this chapter, but he is talked about quite a bit. Thanks to those that are reading the story and also a big thank you to those that comment! It means a lot!

Walking up to the front door of her home had Y/N trembling. It was no doubt a combination of things. The revealing dress that she was wearing likely didn’t help since it had started snowing again and it was freezing. But what also added to her nervousness was the reminder that Joel was the only man she had ever slept with. Continuously that lingered in her mind.

“Careful,” she instructed Negan, her fingers hooking tighter with his knowing that the snow was incredibly slippery as they made their way up to the door. Once she moved up the steps and pulled her keys from the jacket she had on, she realized just how much she really was shaking. Getting the key in the door was hard so she had to focus herself. By the time she pushed the door open, she felt a little resistance from Negan when she headed into the house. Gazing back over her shoulder, she noticed something in Negan’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I need you to let me know you really want me to come inside,” Negan responded, his chiseled jawline flexing when he looked to their hands.

“Is this the part where you tell me you are a vampire now and you can’t come in without me inviting you first?” she teased him, enjoying the way that his thumb swept over the back of her hand. A smirk tugged at his handsome features and she wondered if she had done something wrong.

“No, I just…” Negan paused, his thick eyebrows bouncing up when he shook his head. “I don’t want you to think that I only asked you out because I wanted to have sex with you. I don’t want you to think you have to have sex with me because you feel guilty for things either. I really did just want to spend time with you because I missed you.”

Turning to face Negan fully, she reached for his other hand and politely urged him into the house. Moving forward, she reached out to cup his face in her palms tenderly. Hushing him, she braced her weight against him when she got him to lower down to meet her in a kiss.

“I want you here. Not because I feel guilty, not because I just want a one-night stand or think you do,” she assured him with his eyelids getting heavy and his lips parting. Nuzzling his nose in against hers had her addicted to the feeling of someone so desperate to be near her. “I just want you here.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan licked his lips, stepping back to close the door for her and lock it. Turning on his heel, Negan moved slowly until he was standing before her. His beautiful hazel eyes were locked on hers with his long eyelashes fluttering. Stroking his fingers down over the side of her face had her eyes coming to a tight close and he sighed. “I should have called you. I should have been part of your life and I’m so fucking sorry.”

“You’re here now,” she whispered, reaching up to place her hand in over his, caressing over it.

Fluttering her eyes to an open, she curled her fingers loosely around his wrist and led him toward the stairs. Taking their time, she moved up the stairs heading for her bedroom. Once inside, she allowed him to follow her and she closed the door behind them. Negan stood at the center of the room, his breathing loud as he closely watched her every move. Stroking her fingers over the center of his chest had Negan’s long eyelashes fluttering. It was hard to imagine, but Negan looked incredibly vulnerable right now standing in front of her.

Pushing her fingers underneath the material of his suit jacket had it falling down his arms. The jacket got to his wrists and he had to help her get it off him. Tossing it to the floor, Negan swallowed down hard and felt her plucking apart the remaining buttons of his black, button-down shirt. Untucking the shirt from his pants, she lowered her hands down over the lower part of his abdomen allowing them to flatten against the warmth of his flesh. Negan’s body was so vastly different than Joel’s and it would take some getting used to. Sliding her palms up had her fingers teasing through the dark curls of hair over Negan’s torso. The touch had his abdomen sinking in repeatedly with his deep breaths until she reached his chest. Starting to kiss faintly at the center of his chest had a low rumble of a moan falling from his throat.

At the same time, Negan was helping her work her jacket from her body getting it to fall at their feet with his. There was a desire burning deep within him with every delicate kiss she pressed over his chest. Working with her, they managed to get his shirt off and to the ground as well. What surprised him was how she looked at him. How she took all of him in. Touching his body, learning his tattoos and cherishing him like he was a work of art.

“I feel like a teenager again,” Negan whispered lifting his hands just enough to let them settle against her hips. It had her chuckling against his flesh as she started peppering her kisses over his collarbone toward his shoulders to where his freckles were. The wet kisses against his shoulder had Negan’s eyes coming to a close while he enjoyed her pampering his body. “I’m shaking.”

“We were just out in the snow,” she found it cute that he was insisting that she was making him nervous. Tipping her head back, she looked up at him and saw him smirk. Shaking his head, he lowered down to steal a kiss from her lips.

“No, I’m not shaking because I’m cold,” Negan assured her with a snicker, nipping faintly at her bottom lip. “You fucking do this to me. You always did this to me. I’ve missed you so fucking much and the idea of us finally doing this…I’m kinda fucking nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” she found amusement in that, drawing small shapes down over his body. “You’re the celebrity. If anyone should be nervous, it’s me.”

“Right now I just feel like a boy all over again. In love with a girl that is capable of holding my whole heart in her hand,” Negan reached for one of her hands to bring it up for him to deposit a kiss over the back of it.

Hearing the way he spoke took her breath away. Tipping in, she took her time to pepper small, wet kisses over his chest. Negan wasn’t kidding when he said he was trembling. It was obvious, but she found herself drawn to it. Pressing her fingers against his lower abdomen, she put enough pressure into it to have him back stepping. The back of his knees hit the bed causing him to lower down onto the edge of it. Having his big eyes watching her with him breathing loudly sent chills down her spine. A rush flooded her veins when she brazenly reached behind her to drag the zipper down in her dress. Stepping out of her shoes, she swallowed down hard with the way that Negan had his eyes locked on her. Awe filled them with him pressing his hands at his side to help brace himself.

Doubts did fill her mind at the idea of all of this as the material parted. Afterall, Joel was really the only man she had been with her whole life. She could be terrible with sex and not really know it. Plus, she hadn’t had much practice. In the last few years she had only been with Joel a few times. So she didn’t know if she’d continue to be this brave. Lowering the material down her body had her standing before Negan in only her black panties.

A tremoring breath escaped his lips and he wiggled his finger to urge her closer to him. Hooking his arm around her waist, Negan helped her crawl in over his lap. The warmth of his chest pressed against hers with him palming his large hands up over the lengths of her back, “You take my breath away.”

Hearing that took hers away when he claimed her lips with his again. Instead of just jumping right into things, they took their time caressing over each other’s bodies. Touching each other and getting used to the other all over again. A fire ran through her veins while she stroked at Negan’s scalp with his lips kissing up and over her jawline back toward her neck.

A wet sound fell from Negan’s lips when she shakily moved from his lap to slide down to her knees before him. Keeping her eyes hooked on his, she felt his thumb sweeping over her bottom lip and she kissed at the pad of his thumb. First she took her time getting his belt undone before working open his pants. Kissing at the area right above the hemline of his pants had him sucking in a sharp breath of air. Stroking his fingers through her hair, Negan was amazed with the way she was with him. Rushing things was not something they were doing here. She was pampering his body, cherishing him like he was a gift that had been given to her.

Hooking her fingers into his pants, she used a bit of strength to get them down his hips. Helping her, Negan lifted up so she could get the material of his dark slacks and his boxer briefs down his long slender body. A smacking sound followed with his erection hitting his lower abdomen. Carefully she set his clothes beside her on the floor and he swallowed down hard.

“You are so gorgeous,” she swept her fingers down over Negan’s leg evoking a tight groan from him. Crawling closer to him had his chest rising and falling.

Anticipation flooded his veins as he licked his lips to wet them. Urging his knees apart, she rest herself between them. Palming up over his thighs had him humming out. It was like she was taking her time to learn all of him again. Sweeping her fingers in over his injured knee took his breath away. Delicately she dragged her fingers across the scarring that was done from his surgeries that he had. Usually he was pretty sensitive about that area because it was the one part of his body that he wasn’t comfortable with. Swallowing down hard, he watched as she lowered her head to press faint kisses over his scars. The tenderness in the way she touched him and kissed at his body had Negan tremoring beneath her touch. Most people he wouldn’t be comfortable with doing this, but she genuinely seemed to care for him. And it drew him to her even more.

Having her looking up at him from where she was had chills flooding throughout his body. Other than Lucille, when people were with him they typically looked at him a certain way. It was either excitement with the fact they were hooking up with a celebrity where they only cared about the moment, not him or they just looked at him like he was something to be won. But in her eyes, he saw someone who actually seemed to care. There was an empathy for him that not a lot of people had. But it wasn’t in a way that was meant to make him feel bad. She just didn’t like seeing him hurt.

Palming over the side of her face had her turning into his touch to place a loving kiss over the center of his hand. Broken breaths fell from his lips. It had been so long since someone’s touch had been genuine where the person seemed to actually care for him.

As her kisses started to press over his thighs, he felt the warmth of them growing closer to his center and he let out a tremoring breath. Brushing his thumb against her cheek, he urged her to look up at him breaking the contact of her kisses from his flesh, “You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” she slurred palming in over the length of Negan’s shaft triggering him to close his eyes tightly. Groaning out, he felt her kisses following the movement and it had him caressing in over her shoulders. It was very sensual with what she was doing. She wasn’t out to prove something. It was just her cherishing his body and pampering him. Dragging her tongue along the length of his shaft had his thighs flexing and a sharp breath escaping him.

A low rumble of a moan fell from his throat when she curled her fingers around the base of his erection. Getting up further on her knees, she led his cock to her lips. Gentle kisses pressed over his manhood and his hips slid in closer to her. Watching her made him breathless. Reaching the tip, her lips parted taking him in. The warmth of her mouth surrounding his sensitive flesh drew out a deep raspy moan from his throat. Hearing that was a gift in itself. It made her want to do this all the more. Caressing over her shoulders and down over the center of her back, he wanted to relax her. Show her his appreciation. At first, her motions were slow. Dropping her head down slightly, taking her time then to pull back and drag her tongue against his erection. Each movement allowed her to take more of him into her mouth. And he was loving it.

Licking his lips, Negan stroked his fingers against the back of her neck. Now he understood the whole comment about everything feeling like the first time. Because this felt exactly like that. Whispering praises to her while she pleasured him only enticed her more. Sweeping her hair from her face, Negan was desperate to watch her. It looked like she enjoyed herself with every bob her head made over his length.

Taking a breath, she pulled her lips not too far away from his cock having his hips arch up toward her. With a smile, she teased kisses at the wet tip. Her tongue slightly dragging out against the soft, velvety skin. Varying between wet kisses and sweeps of her tongue over his body had him tensing up beneath her.

“Your cock is perfect,” she slurred against the tip of it, her eyes locking with his. Teasing her tongue across the patch of skin where the shaft and tip met had him locking up. His eyes closed and he shook. “I haven’t completely forgotten what you liked.”

Sliding his hand up over the side of her neck, Negan dragged his thumb along her jawline and smiled, “So much time has passed, but it feels like fucking yesterday. You are as fucking perfect as you’ve always been.”

Gentle strokes over his body continued, but he knew that in this moment, he didn’t need her to keep pampering him. So he reached for her, being careful in the way that he helped her up from her knees. Standing up, Negan made her gasp when he picked her up in his arms. Surprised filled her eyes at how easily he did it. Showing the strength that he had when he lowered her down at the center of the bed.

Suddenly this all started to feel real again. For a while it just felt like a blast from her past, a memory she had long forgotten but as Negan reached for the hemline of her panties she felt anxious before him. For the last however many years she had been only Joel’s. Yet here she was with someone completely new, someone who knew her just as much as Joel did in the past.

“Negan,” she stopped him before he could tug at the material, having him looking to her. “I know I’m not what I used to be. I’m sure I was cuter when we were younger.”

“No,” Negan hushed her, shaking his head when he started dragging the material down her legs. Getting them from her feet, Negan dropped them beside the bed and gave her a weak smile. Caressing at her lower legs, Negan realized that she was starting to get nervous. Doing his best to calm her, he allowed his touch to raise higher up toward her thighs. Shifting his weight over her, Negan did his best to urge her legs apart. Lowering himself down, he started peppering kisses at the inside of her thigh. Lifting his eyes, he flashed another smile seeing that her pupils were dilated with lust for him. “You are perfect. You’ve always been perfect. Then. Now…”

Hooking his arms under her knees, he pulled her in closer to him allowing his kisses to grow nearer to her core. At first, it was just delicate kisses over her flesh with him still caressing over her thighs. In this position she could comfortably watch him when his tongue pressed out to drag a line down over the length of her sex. Involuntarily her hips arched up toward him and he hummed out. Each kiss over her body grew stronger with the flicks of his tongue following suit. When he started suckling at her flesh, it made her moan out. Grasping tightly to the comforter beneath her, she balled the material up and cooed. Everything felt different with Negan’s short beard against her flesh, but it was a feeling that she very much enjoyed. This was a strong contrast from what she was used to with Joel. Negan seemed so focused and delicate. Working her up to feeling good and Joel was rough and eager to get her body worked up immediately.

Lifting her head, she watched Negan as he pleasured her. It seemed like he was enjoying it with the faint moans vibrating against her flesh. Crying out his name, she felt the strong strokes of his tongue over her sensitive bundle of nerves before it was followed by a slurping sound. As Negan’s right hand found its way between her thighs, she mewled out when his fingers thrust back into her body. With his long slender digits pumping away inside of her damp heat and his mouth focusing on matching that pleasure she felt the room spinning around her.

Licking her lips, she muttered his name feeling Negan hitting that same spot that he had been doing before. Starting to shake against him had him humming out. A euphoric sensation started building at the pit of her stomach with the way he was pleasuring her.

“Negan,” she stammered his name with his moan following and his fingers pulling from her body. It had her squeezing so tightly to the comforter that her knuckles were changing color. At the rate her heart was pounding in her chest she knew that this orgasm was harder than the one she had at the restaurant. Instead of stopping, Negan just buried his head back between her thighs to continue pleasuring her and it had her rocking her hips against his movements. “Fuck Negan…”

“Just enjoy it,” Negan instructed slurring against her flesh going back to work. Dropping one of her hands down, she sank it into his hair and panted. It had been so long since someone focused on her like this and it was driving her mad with desire for Negan.

That was until she heard the sound of something that had even Negan lifting his head up from where he was between her thighs. Dragging his thumb over his bottom lip, Negan cleared his throat and turned to look at her, “Is someone here?”

“The house is just noisy,” she tried to insist only to hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Panicked, she started tugging at the comforters and sheets. Pushing at Negan’s head she had him crawling beneath the material resting his head against her lower abdomen. Just in time she managed to get the blankets to her shoulders when her door pushed open revealing Elizabeth at the door. “Elizabeth. What are you doing here?”

“Sorry mom, I just…” Elizabeth paused holding tightly to the door seeing that her mother looked different. “I was at my friend’s house, but there was a game that I wanted to grab for us to play. It’s in my room. I didn’t want you to think that someone was breaking in or anything.”

“Oh, okay,” Y/N didn’t know how to react. Truthfully? She was freaking the fuck out on the inside. This was never a place she wanted to find herself in around her children.

“Mom,” Elizabeth tipped her head to the side, her dark eyes narrowing. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine,” Y/N alerted her daughter desperately wanting her to leave the room. Discomfort flooded her veins knowing that underneath the blanket and sheet was a completely naked Negan. Hiding him was hard because Negan was a big guy, but she just hoped that Elizabeth didn’t catch on. “Have a good night honey.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Elizabeth was unsure of how to respond to the way her mother was acting. Right now Y/N wished that her daughter wasn’t so perceptive.

“Nothing is wrong. I’m just…really tired,” Y/N lied knowing that by the expression over her daughter’s face that Elizabeth was suspicious. “Just call me in the morning and tell me how everything was. Okay?”

“You have someone in there with you, don’t you?” Elizabeth stepped forward immediately making things all the more awkward. Negan buried his nose in against her abdomen trying to remain still, but Elizabeth wasn’t dumb. “I don’t understand. Who are you with? I know it’s not dad because I just saw him right before I came here.”

“Honey, this isn’t really the best time to be questioning things,” Y/N attempted to stop her daughter from the upcoming lecture that she knew was coming. Elizabeth’s eyes fell to the clothes that were at the center of the room and Y/N started to panic. “I’m sorry. Okay? I didn’t think you’d be home. And I just…”

“After the other night with the four of us as a family, you’re doing this?” Elizabeth snapped at her mother causing Y/N to tense up. “I thought we were working on becoming a family again. The four of us. Yet, you’re here sleeping with someone other than dad?”

“Can you give me a few minutes and then we can talk? Because this is starting to feel really inappropriate,” Y/N asked of her daughter who simply folder her arms out in front of her chest with her chocolate brown eyes giving Y/N what looked like a death glare. “I don’t feel like that’s fair Elizabeth. Your dad dated someone else for years and you didn’t act like this. Just because your dad is single right now doesn’t mean…”

“You’re not dad,” Elizabeth interrupted her mother and it had a warmth flooding throughout Y/N’s veins. It was both demeaning that her daughter was lecturing her about having a life outside of Joel and embarrassing that Negan was in here to hear it all. “I know how you’ve felt about dad for a very long time. After everything with dad trying, inviting you over to the event…you’re doing this to him? To us?”

“I’m not cheating on your father Elizabeth,” Y/N pled with her daughter not understanding why it was leading to this. “We’ve been divorced for three years and separated for four. Your father had plenty of time to make a move and he didn’t. We’re not together Elizabeth and me finding comfort with someone else isn’t me trying to hurt you. Or anyone for that matter.”

“Who is it?” Elizabeth seemed furious eyeballing the bed to look over the shape that was beneath the blankets. “Is it Uncle Tommy? He’s been acting really weird and it would explain why he is running away at all hours of the night.”

“I adopted your Uncle Tommy when I was eighteen. Do you know how weird that would be?” Y/N scoffed, pulling the comforter in closer to her body feeling even more uneasy with Elizabeth stepping toward the bed. “Please honey, just give me a minute to get dressed and come out to talk to you.”

“I’m not a baby mom. I’m seventeen. Come on Uncle Tommy,” Elizabeth demanded who she assumed to be with her mom to come out. “Show yourself.”

“It’s not your Uncle Tommy! And I don’t even understand why you would begin to think that I have anything going on with him,” Y/N was disgusted at the idea of just seeing Tommy in that way because to her he was almost like her own child.

“Who else do you know that’s a man,” Elizabeth was furious in the way that she was talking. “Tommy, show your face before I start hitting.”

“Please don’t start hitting,” a rumble of a voice muttered from beneath the blankets and it shocked Elizabeth who stumbled back realizing that the voice was in fact not Uncle Tommy. “I’ll show my face if you promise not to start hitting.”

Carefully adjusting his body, Negan pulled the blankets and the sheets down far enough to reveal his head and his shoulders to Y/N’s daughter after he crawled up beside Y/N on the bed. Negan’s hair was a mess with a flush of color in his face. Curling his fingers tighter around the comforter, Negan cleared his throat and nodded his head. Looking to Y/N, Negan knew that there was fear in her eyes when Elizabeth saw what she did.

“Hello,” Negan broke the silence feigning a smile, his dimples big when the color drained completely from Elizabeth’s face seeing her celebrity crush there before her in her mother’s bed. “It’s nice to meet you Elizabeth, I heard a lot about you. All good things. Your mother loves you very much.”

“You’re fucking Negan Smith? How is Negan Smith even here right now?” Elizabeth snapped noticing the lost expression flooding into her mother’s features. It made things weird because Elizabeth wasn’t even acknowledging what Negan had said to her. “I have to be dreaming. This can’t be real because there is no logical explanation that explains why Negan Smith is in your bedroom right now.”

“I can answer a few of those,” Negan somewhat waved his hand about drawing Elizabeth’s attention back to him. “We’re not necessarily…fucking.”

Negan looked to see that Y/N buried herself under the covers to hide her embarrassment from her daughter and it had her groaning out, “I’m in this bedroom because I came home to visit my mother for the holidays. I ran into your mother the other day and we agreed to have dinner. You’re not dreaming and I’m very sorry this is the way that we met. I wanted to meet you at some point soon, but this really wasn’t the way that I was expecting.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Elizabeth was embarrassed with having her meltdown in front of the town celebrity who was attempting to be exceedingly kind to her. “You slept with Negan Smith knowing how I felt about things? Do you know how weird that’s going to be telling people considering all my friends know that I have the biggest crush on him? You never even acted like you felt a certain way toward him mom.”

“Again, I hate to speak for your mother,” Negan began, his hazel eyes empathetic drawing Elizabeth to look to him “But your mother and I dated long before her and your father did. Kind of. So I don’t think she did this to make you feel bad. It’s just we had something between us when we were younger. And she probably didn’t want to tell you about it because she was married to your father and didn’t want to make things weird. I’m also very honored that I’m your celebrity crush, but you are…kind of too young for me honey. And considering how I feel about your mother…”

“How do you feel about my mother?” Elizabeth blurt out and Negan’s hazel eyes got wide. Looking to Y/N who lowered the blankets slightly to him, Negan simply shrugged and cleared his throat.

“I don’t really know yet. I just know that I spent most of my early life in love with your mother. I went a lot of years without her in my life and now that I’m here for the holiday I’d like to spend as much time as I can with her,” Negan was honest with Elizabeth who seemed to be between the stages of shocked, embarrassed and angry all at the same time. “I’d also like to continue to be in your mother’s life somehow because I missed her.”

“How? You’re a famous baseball player,” Elizabeth reminded Negan who gave a simple nod and then tipped his head from side to side.

“Yes and no. I have one more season left,” Negan declared, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “I’m really sorry if finding us here like this upset you, but I promise you this wasn’t anything negative or of ill intent. I care about your mother and I’d like to be able to talk to you in better situations so we can get to know one another better.”

“Elizabeth!” someone was calling out from downstairs and Y/N assumed that it was her friend that she had come with. Hopefully that friend didn’t follow her upstairs.

“I’ll be right down,” Elizabeth called out, a rush of heat flooding into her tanned flesh. It looked like there was so much she wanted to say but didn’t know what to say. Swallowing down hard, Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders and took a step back. “Whatever this is, I’ll come back tomorrow and we can talk about it. Preferably with you two dressed.”

“I don’t know if he will still be here tomorrow morning,” Y/N reasoned with her daughter, but Negan held his hand out and nodded.

“I’ll stay,” Negan agreed to the talk that Elizabeth asked for. “We can talk about whatever you want tomorrow. I promise.”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth looked between both her mother and Negan, her eyes forcing themselves to look down at the ground. “I’m sorry for barging in. If I would have known you were with someone, I would have never done that.”

And with that, Elizabeth backstepped out of the bedroom and quickly took off down the stairs. When they heard the door open and shut, Y/N dropped her head back. An overwhelmed sound followed and she looked to Negan with pure embarrassment flooding her features.

“I am so sorry,” she apologized to Negan who laid in beside her looking up at the ceiling. “That had to be so weird and I would completely understand if you wanted to leave right now. I will come up with a good excuse for things tomorrow and…”

“I don’t want to leave,” Negan interrupted her, the lines in his forehead growing as he spoke. “Unless you want me to leave?”

“God no,” she shook her head, sliding in beside Negan with their heads touching. Her breathing was loud and she thought about the things that her daughter said. “Am I a bad mom for not telling her about us when we were younger?”

“Why would that make you a bad mom?” Negan’s nose wrinkled. “Mothers and fathers don’t tell their children about the people that they screwed around with before…or after their parents. She’ll be jealous and maybe embarrassed for a while, but she will understand it eventually.”

“You didn’t sign up for this,” she pointed out to Negan who simply shrugged. This was the last way she would have liked Elizabeth and Negan to meet.

“Life is always throwing surprises at you,” Negan suggested reaching for her to allow her to rest her head over the center of his chest to get comfortable. “I can tell that she’s daddy’s little girl by the way that she talks.”

“Yeah. The children both love him,” she stated with a long sigh cuddling her face in against Negan’s chest. “And I don’t mind that they love him. It’s better that they do. Joel is a good father. He always was. He loved them a lot. I let them have that. They just got really mad at me when we got separated. When Joel started dating someone they didn’t put up much of a fight. Kind of just dealt with it. Yet the moment I might be with someone else…”

“Explosion of emotions,” Negan teased releasing a long exhale with his fingers caressing over her shoulders. “Who was Joel dating?”

“Tess Servopoulos,” she stated hearing Negan choke out at her answer. “You remember her?”

“Scary Tess?” Negan’s eyebrows were arched as he looked toward Y/N. “Ball busting Tess? The girl that was a year or two older than us that had no problem kicking a guy in the balls if he looked at her the wrong way?”

“Might have been before my time,” she was amused at Negan’s reaction to who Joel was dating. “You didn’t like her?”

“I never pissed her off, so she was fine with me,” Negan informed her with a dramatic expression and he shook his head. “Joel still has his balls after they broke up? That woman had some serious rage issues when we were younger. If I was putting together a hit team, I think I would have gotten her on my team.”

“She didn’t seem that bad,” Y/N laughed at how dramatic Negan was being with the way he was talking. “Joel really liked her. At least I thought they did when they were together.”

“That is so hard to picture because Joel hated her when we were in high school,” Negan thought back realizing that Y/N was younger than him and Joel. “Fuck. I can’t believe that Joel dated scary Tess. I almost want to ask him about it.”

“I’m going to be getting an earful eventually about what Elizabeth saw here tonight from him. So maybe if you are still around you can talk to him then,” she was being sarcastic as her fingers played with the dark curls of hair over Negan’s chest. “If I were you, I’d probably run right now. I have so much baggage and you’ve already seen parts of it.”

“I like your parts,” Negan spoke softly, letting out a boisterous laugh when she poked him in the side. “But it’s a good thing you aren’t me because I don’t wanna run away. I’m willing to deal with what I have to in order to be around you again.”

“You are something else,” she found herself in awe of him, bracing her hand over his chest so she could balance herself enough to lean in over Negan to meet him in a lingering kiss between the two of them. “Well now that the moment we were building up to is over, I have some pie that I made earlier. Would you like to have some?”

“I was just eating some pie,” Negan snickered only to have her playfully hit him in the stomach again. His raspy laugh grew louder this time and he shook his head. “Yes, I would love some of the pie that you made.”

Carefully getting up from the bed, Negan watched her head over toward her dresser to grab a t-shirt and some pajama pants. Pulling on his black boxer briefs, Negan then reached for his dress shirt to pull it over his arms. Leaving it unbuttoned, he stopped at the bottom of the bed hearing her huff when she turned to face him.

“It’s not fair, how are you still so fucking hot like that?” she questioned getting another laugh from Negan who reached for her to wrap her up in his arms. “It’s like, you’re even more fuckable like that.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Negan hummed kissing her multiple times. Leaning back, his eyes locked with hers and he made an overwhelmed expression. “I think your daughter walking in on us might have been worse than my father walking in on us that one time. I was scared she was about to start beating the shit outta me.”

“I could honestly see it,” she agreed with Negan, patting him at the center of his chest. Leading him down to the kitchen, she watched as he walked over toward the corner of the cabinets where Joel had been earlier bracing his hands on the counter. “What kind of pie would you like? I have eggnog pumpkin, pecan, chocolate silk and cinnamon apple.”

“Why don’t you get a piece of each and we will share them all?” Negan suggested with her giving him an impressed expression. Doing what he asked, she warmed the ones that were necessary and laid them out across the island in her kitchen. Grabbing both of them some milk and forks, she moved in beside Negan and saw him eyeing over the pies. “I love that you still bake. We started that together.”

“I know,” she saw him take some of the cinnamon apple pie, humming out when he swallowed it down and gave a thumbs up. “Do you still bake?”

“Fuck yeah I do. I’m an amazing cook and baker,” Negan didn’t shy from showing off when he went for the eggnog pumpkin pie next. “We should bake something together. The two of us. Not that you need any more sweets with all that you have, but I think that would be fun.”

“If you want to,” she wasn’t going to deny him the opportunity to cook something with her. She liked spending time with him and she wasn’t ready to stop yet. Grabbing some of the pumpkin for herself, she saw Negan take a bite of the pecan. “What do you like best so far?”

Considering his answer, Negan went for a larger bite of the chocolate silk. Holding it up to her lips, he allowed her to take the bite. A surprised sound fell from her lips when Negan’s lips covered hers, his tongue forcefully brushing out against hers.

“Wow,” she snickered watching him wipe his thumb across his bottom lip to collect the remainder of the pie from his lips. “That was different.”

“Chocolate silk,” Negan pointed to the piece of pie that was before her and it had her face flushing over with warmth. Nudging her playfully with his hip, Negan gave her a wink and then went for another bite of the chocolate silk. “You’re cute. You know that?”

“It’s been a long time since someone called me cute,” she retorted with Negan taking a sip of his milk. “But thank you. You’re pretty cute too.”

“I know,” Negan snorted after it made her laugh. Things were much more relaxed with Negan than she was used to. Here he was standing almost completely shirtless at the center of her kitchen in his boxer briefs and they were just eating sweets together. “This has been an interesting night. It went a way I didn’t think it would, but I’ve enjoyed it.”

“I feel like you’re just trying to be nice,” she suggested assuming things had to be awkward from the start. “You started the night off with my angry ex-husband and then ended it with my daughter. If anything, this night has been awkward at best.”

“I can handle Joel. I always could. And I could also handle your daughter who has a crush on me,” Negan stressed, placing his hand in over the center of his chest after setting his milk back down on the counter. “I have had lots of fun tonight. And not just because we fucked around. The night is still young though and I did promise your daughter that I would be here tomorrow. So, we have a lot of the night left together.”

“I’m just waiting for my son to make an appearance now,” she joked, poking at the pie that was in front of her.

“And if that happens, I’ll happily meet your son,” Negan snickered, moving forward to nuzzle his nose in against the side of her neck before playfully pressing kisses against her flesh. “I like kids. I always wanted kids. Life just didn’t work out for me the way I planned.”

Turning toward Negan after setting her fork down, she felt his hands settling in over her hips. Stroking her fingers over his exposed chest had her questioning things. This was all really too good to be true. Everything just felt…relaxed and nice. It wasn’t something that she was used to. At least not for a very long time.

“Let’s clean this up and make some cupcakes?” Negan suggested with a huff, tipping down to deposit another kiss over her forehead. Sliding his hands up her body, he cupped her face in his rough palms and led her to stare into his hazel eyes. “I need you to loosen up and relax. We’re here. I’m happy to be here. So let’s keep taking a trip down memory fucking lane. Let’s bake some cupcakes. And talk.”

“If that’s what you want to do,” she wasn’t going to fight him on this whole thing. Spending time with him sounded nice. It was the most laid back things had been in her life for a long time. And one thing she wasn’t feeling was lonely. Which was a nice thing. After giving her a wink, Negan collected the dishes that they had and headed over toward the sink. Without having to be asked, Negan was doing the dishes. Cleaning them and then putting them into the dishwasher. That alone was a huge difference between Negan and Joel. In all her years being with Joel, Joel was never the type to immediately clean up and if he did the dishes, it was only because she nagged him long enough to do it. “What kind of cupcakes do you want?”

“You have me in a chocolate mood,” Negan responded with a pondering expression when he looked over his shoulder at her. Turning on his heel, he braced his hands against the counter stretching out his lengthy abdomen leaving her a nice view of the v-line that led to the top of his boxer briefs. “Do you have candy canes?”

“Of course,” she moved around the kitchen to pull out the box of candy canes that she had bought not long before. Extending his hand out, Negan grabbed the box and gave her a thumbs up. “Chocolate cupcakes with a peppermint frosting?”

“Right up my alley,” Negan gave her a wink, setting the box down. Amusement flooded her veins seeing Negan opening the cabinets to see what was where. Instead of just asking, he was getting comfortable with her kitchen and it charmed her. As he set out what they needed with utensils and bowls, she went for the ingredients that they would need from the pantry and refrigerator. “What’s this?”

“What’s what?” she looked over her shoulder to see that Negan was looking down at the gingerbread family that she had done with Joel and the children. “Oh, we did that the other day when I made fresh gingerbread cookies. Elizabeth wanted us to keep it. So it’s being displayed in the kitchen.”

“The sad thing is that I immediately knew this was Joel. His style hasn’t changed much since high school,” Negan snickered, waving his finger about at the gingerbread cookie that Joel had made. Stealing one final glance, Negan went back to preparing things. When they both returned to the island in her kitchen, she gave him a once over and smirked. “What?”

“I’m just not used to this whole thing. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do this with someone,” she mused working with Negan to grab what they would need for the cupcakes first. Heading over to the stove, she turned it on and came back to see Negan was already preparing the ingredients. “My children like to help with the decorating, but never the baking process. Well, they did when they were children. But that’s it really.”

“Tell me about them,” Negan directed her to talk about her family and he saw her take a moment to think about things.

“Well, you met Elizabeth tonight. Daddy’s little girl to the core. Joel has called her Ellie her whole life, but she has gotten to the age where she wants to be called Liz. She plays softball at her school. She’s got a hell of a throw on her. She likes the girly things, but she’s also into sports and video games,” she rambled on about her daughter and Negan would glance over at her every so often to show that he was listening while they worked together. “She’s also incredibly smart. Way smarter than me and her father ever were. I see her going places. I worry sometimes about her since she’s so close to the age I was when I got pregnant, but she’s really not like that. She has crushes, but no boyfriend or anything. I think her future means more to her. And she’s a really good sister to her little brother. Peter is a typical teenage boy. Loves video games, sports, being silly. He plays baseball too. I think it’s more so to get his father’s attention, but he’s trying. And he’s attempting to learn the guitar too like Joel.”

“So Ellie is Joel’s favorite,” Negan commented which had her shaking her head. “It sounds like it.”

“I don’t know if she’s Joel’s favorite. I think she just has a strong bond with him since she was his first,” she thought aloud hating to think that Joel had a favorite. “Peter is just desperate for something to cling onto with his dad. We split when Peter was nine and he misses the family aspect of things. Joel is always so busy with things that Peter doesn’t really get the attention that he wants.”

“And why did the two of you get divorced?” Negan was curious throwing caution to the wind since she might get upset with that question. “You don’t have to answer that question.”

“Uh, you’re fine,” she felt heat flooding into her face. There was the thought that she shouldn’t focus so much on Joel, but Negan seemed to be genuinely curious. “I’d love to blame one thing, but I don’t know if I can. Joel’s parents died right after graduation for him. Immediately Tommy was the thing that he worried about. He made the decision to stay home and take care of Tommy instead of letting him go into foster care. Which meant he had to give up his full ride to school on that scholarship. It meant he gave up focusing on football and music. Which you know how much those two things meant to him.”

“I think everyone did,” Negan agreed with her from what he remembered when they were younger. Joel was so good at football that many of the people in town thought he would become a big football player. “I think he always planned to get famous with football so he could become a singer. Which I think was his real passion. Unless I was wrong.”

“I think he loved them both,” Y/N didn’t know if he loved one or the other more. The music just stuck with him more. “I think he was happy he had two things he was good at. That way he always had a fallback.”

Talking about Joel would have probably pissed Joel off. Especially since he seemed so irritated about her spending time with Negan.

“Joel adopted Tommy. Took on his father’s company and started working immediately. And then Elizabeth happened. It wasn’t on purpose. I was taking the pill, but it just happened. My parents wanted me to get an abortion because they expected more from me, but I couldn’t. They kicked me out and wanted nothing to do with me. So that was another person that Joel had to take into his home. I think he figured once Tommy was eighteen, he would be able to have the chance to finally make something of himself. I just don’t think he thought he would be a father by then. Everything was really good. I adopted Tommy too. We were a family. It was rough, but we were doing it. By the time Tommy turned eighteen, I was pregnant with Peter and I think life just got so busy. Tommy wanted to go off into the army because he wanted to change the world. It was a lot of stress. Joel tried to go to a community college, but it just didn’t work. So he kept being a contractor running his father’s business.”

Biting down on her bottom lip, she paused and noticed that Negan looked to her wondering if she was okay, “I think I was just the only one that realized life wasn’t going to be what I wanted it to be. I gave up the things I wanted, he did the same, but I adjusted to it and he didn’t. I got a degree, accepted the first job that would take me. Money was money. Joel was miserable. He knew what he was capable of having and life didn’t allow him that. So we fought. A lot. I was happy. He wasn’t in the last few years. And it wore pretty heavy on me. I think the more he let it linger, the more he realized what he lost. I think he was really happy for a while. It’s just toward the end of our marriage that he started showing signs of being miserable. At least, I think that’s what it was.”

“You had big dreams too though,” Negan reminded her of what she wanted when she was younger noticing that she didn’t seem to focus on herself as much as she did Joel. “You wanted to travel. I remember you always had your camera out and you wanted to be a journalist. More than anything you wanted out of here. So if anyone understood what he was going through, it was you.”

“I suppose so,” she didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t wrong. More than anything she dreamt of getting away from here when she was younger. She wanted to be more than what she was, but once she was a mother she had to change her way of thinking. “Joel was a really good father throughout though. He kept that he was miserable from the children really good.”

“Hmm…” Negan breathed out loudly, reaching for the mixer once they had put all the ingredients together to make the chocolate cupcakes. “I take it sex wasn’t very good with Joel?”

“Negan,” she laughed with him tipping his head to the side.

“I’m just saying. You seemed really shocked by the way I could make you orgasm tonight which tells me that you’ve never orgasmed like that before,” Negan recalled back to the two previous moments earlier tonight. “It’s okay if Joel wasn’t good at sex.”

“Joel was good at sex,” she corrected Negan who smirked and shrugged his shoulders. “The orgasms were good, but that…”

“You didn’t know you were a squirter,” Negan blurt out having her chuckle at his outwardness. “It takes time and dedication. Focus to make a girl squirt and not all of them do. Some of them are scared to do it because they think it’s something bad, but it’s not.”

“I can see the ego never left you,” she smacked Negan on the ass when he turned on the mixer. Moving around him, she got what they needed for the frosting and started to prepare what she could now. Once he was done, Negan helped her lay out the cupcake wrappers before she poured in the mixture. “What about your life? You’ve gotten to see the world. What was it like? As exciting as we pictured when we were kids?”

“It depends,” Negan answered with a sigh. “If Lucille was with me, it was nice. If I was alone, it was lonely. And it’s not really like I could enjoy it. I was working when I was travelling. So a lot of the world that I saw was hotels and flying.”

“Yeah, but I saw from the stuff Elizabeth would pull up that you got that car that you dreamt of having since we were kids. Lots of cars. A big house and everything you could ever dream of,” she elbowed him playfully thinking that those were things he would be proud of. Instead, Negan swallowed hard and looked down at her with sadness in his eyes. “All the money in the world can’t be too bad.”

“All the money in the world and I still couldn’t save my wife from dying of cancer,” Negan countered having the color drain from her face realizing what she said was incredibly awful when he put it that way. “I’m not trying to be a dick with that answer. I’m sorry if it came out that way, I just…what good is money if you lose the love of your life anyways? I have all the money I could ever want, but no one to spend it with. You can’t imagine the kind of loneliness…” Negan paused, his thick eyebrows furrowing with a shake of his head. “Never mind. You understand the loneliness just fine. Just a different kind. I’m sorry for that.”

“Broken recognizes broken I guess,” she breathed out, grabbing the cupcakes to put them in the oven. Setting the timer, she turned to him and could see that he was going through so many emotions just considering what to say next. “I’m sorry I said that Negan. It’s just when you’re one of the little people, the idea of having lots of money and getting to do anything sounds really good.”

“I understand that. I’m sorry,” Negan cleared his throat and nodded his head. His lips parted and he shrugged his shoulders. “Just from where I’m standing, I think Joel is a moron. Because more than anything, Lucille and I would have loved to have children. We tried, but she was sick for a long time. And we never had any. So it’s crazy to me. I would have loved having his life. He has everything I don’t.”

“Had. Not has,” she corrected his statement feeling a sense of sadness behind it. “I wasn’t what he wanted.”

“He’s an idiot,” Negan noted, stepping forward to palm in over the side of her face. “He had everything I wanted when I was younger and he let it slip through his fingers.”

A tremoring exhale fell from her lips when Negan lowered down again to bring their lips together in what was a fervent kiss. His thumb swept over her jawline when they parted and he looked to the timer that she had set.

“Do you still have a camera?” Negan’s question surprised her and made her smile. “You do, don’t you?”

“I have one. It’s not the best considering my situation, but I take it with me to special events with the children. I just haven’t really played with it too much,” she responded with a shrug of her shoulders knowing that she used to carry a camera with her everywhere. “Why?”

“Go get it,” Negan instructed, moving over toward the other bowl that he had grabbed. “I’ll start the frosting. You go get the camera and come back down.”

“Fine,” she did as he told her, heading up the stairs and leaving him alone in the kitchen. Going to her room in search of her camera, she hoped that it was charged. When she found her camera bag, she pulled out the camera and headed downstairs with it. Turning it on, she was thankful when she saw that there was power to it and that she had a memory card. “Here it is.”

“Not too shabby,” Negan reached out for the camera to look it over. Adjusting a few things, Negan lifted the camera and took a photo of her causing her to groan out. “What?”

“I look like shit,” she frowned and he immediately shook his head. It felt strange having Negan taking photos of her. “I do.”

“You could never look like shit,” Negan avowed with a huff, allowing her to take the camera away from him. Wrinkling his nose, Negan gave a wink before going back to work on the frosting. Hearing the sound of the camera made him smile. Stealing a quick look at her, he could tell that she seemed happy while she started snapping photos of him. Stopping what he was doing, he turned toward her and rubbed his hands together. “I want you to start using that again. Whenever you can, take that camera out and take photos. That was the thing that made you so happy when we were younger. Writing and taking photos. Start doing the things that make you happy.”

“Smile for me,” she ordered of him, lifting her camera up. Expectantly waiting for him Negan flashed her one of the biggest, cheesiest smiles that he could give. Taking the photo had her giggling, but she immediately shook her head afterwards. “A real smile.”

“What? That wasn’t real enough for you,” Negan snickered, stepping forward to loosely hook his arm around her waist to pull her in against him. “I thought you liked me as I was. Cute. Charming. Silly. That was a genuine smile.”

“You’re right, you are cute all the time,” she agreed with him, keeping a tight hold of her camera in one hand. With the other she dragged her thumb across Negan’s bottom lip. Kissing at the pad of her finger had her breathing loudly. “I think you know what your smile is capable of though.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re capable of,” Negan slurred with a long sigh, his eyes narrowing when he stepped back. Doing as she asked of him originally, he allowed her to take a photo, but then he got serious. And even though he wasn’t smiling, she seemed to enjoy getting a few close up photos of him. Resting at the corner of the kitchen cabinets, Negan stretched his hands out and placed them on the counter. Modeling for her was no big deal. He was used to people taking photos of him. “I know you had to change your life and alter what your childhood dreams were. But that didn’t mean you had to give up the things that made you happy. You should have kept writing and taking photos.”

“I wish it was that easy,” she stammered, lowering the camera down. Sure, it sounded good, but life never really gave her that chance.

“It is that easy,” Negan contended, biting down on his bottom lip. The lines in his forehead grew with him shaking his head. “Someone in your life should have been here telling you all along that you needed to have things that made you happy. They should have been cheering you on to do these things. Telling you to make time for yourself as well as others.”

“You know,” she began, stuttering back on her words when she lowered the camera down completely. Guilt started eating away at her with a lump growing in her throat. “You really shouldn’t be as nice to me as you are being Negan. I don’t deserve it. You know that, right?”

“Says who?” Negan tipped his head to the side, waiting on her answer.

“You don’t have to keep acting like this. I fucked up when I did what I did. I ruined our friendship all those years ago. I broke your heart,” she recollected provoking a long sigh from him. Setting her camera aside, she realized her thoughts were eating away at her. After everything he said to her at the sports bar, she couldn’t help but think she was a piece of shit for how things went down. “You shouldn’t be this good to me with what I did to you.”

“Apparently I missed the rulebook I guess,” Negan shrugged, pushing forward to move before her. Looking up at him with big eyes, she felt sad. Sad to know that he carried all those negative and hurt feelings with him for so long. Shuddering, she looked down to see that Negan’s fingers were hooking with hers when he reached out for them. “Here’s the thing. You feel fucking guilty. And I understand that. But I wouldn’t give up the life that I was given with Lucille. I loved her, very fucking much.”

“I know,” she breathed, squeezing her fingers firmly around his. Closing the distance between them, Negan wanted her to keep her eyes on his.

“You can’t blame yourself for something that was meant to happen. I loved my wife. I wish I could have had more time with her, but the world didn’t allow me that. And I know that you would never give up the life that you had with your children,” Negan emphasized his words showing her that he understood that their lives went in different ways. “What was meant to happen, did. I can’t be mad at that.”

“But I should have talked to you. You were the biggest part of my life and I just…” she started, but Negan hushed her, lowering his head down to press his forehead against hers.

“Listen. I don’t care about the past. We both made mistakes,” Negan admitted, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “I just know how miserable I was without you in my life. I know I should have been here for you every step of the way. You were part of what made me whole. Part of what made me, me. What happened between us was just as much my fault as it was yours. But what I know? I don’t want to lose you from my life again.”

Everything he said took her breath away. In only a few hours, it felt like they were back to what they were when they were younger. And she still didn’t think she deserved that, but Negan didn’t seem to care. Hovering his lips over hers, it felt like he was about to kiss her again but was interrupted by the sound of the timer going off for the cupcakes.

“Fuck,” Negan hummed, looking toward the stove. Motioning him to wait, she grabbed something to get the cupcakes out of the oven. Setting them out to cool, she turned the oven off and returned back to Negan.

Grabbing the sides of his opened button down, she tugged slightly at them getting a smile over his handsome lips. And there were those gorgeous dimples that got her every time. Using her strength, she lowered him down to her to bring his lips to hers. Shivers ran down her spine with Negan laughing against her lips. Maybe she should have stopped things. Hell, this was just their first day back to spending time together, but it didn’t matter. Right now, everything felt right in the world with him kissing her. It had been a long time since she felt this good.

“Follow me,” Negan instructed, moving around her keeping his fingers linked with hers. Heading for the stairs had a breath catching in her throat.

“What about the cupcakes?” she knew that they were right in the middle of making them. Her heart skipped a beat when Negan looked back at her with an amused smirk.

“They need time to cool anyways,” Negan hushed her taking her into her bedroom. Closing the door, Negan locked it behind him this time while she stood waiting. Turning on his heel, Negan started to shimmy out of the shirt that he was wearing. “Just so no one can surprise us this time.”

Breathing loudly, she watched as the material dropped to Negan’s wrists. Unhurriedly, he got the shirt off and dropped it to the ground. Stepping forward, Negan reached for the bottom of the t-shirt she was wearing. Noticing the way she grew nervous made him smile.

“Everything will be okay,” Negan promised her, starting to lift the material. Once it got right under her breasts, she shakily lifted her arms to let him pull it from her. Dropping her t-shirt beside them on the floor, Negan dragged his tongue out across his bottom lip. Stealing another glance at her naked form took his breath away. “I think you’re perfect.”

Words were hard to form. The warmth of Negan’s fingertips started at her lower abdomen. His caress was slow, building up the sensation as they traced up over her ribs. Just the way Negan looked at her made her feel like the only person in the world. It was obvious what he was doing to her. There was no hiding it from him.

“Now you’re the one shaking,” Negan pointed out, closing the distance between them. Warmth radiated from his body before hers. Curling his arm around her, Negan’s fingers settled at the small of her back tracing over her skin. With how close they were she felt the curls of hair over his chest tickling at her flesh.

Caressing up over her back, between her shoulders and down again, Negan let his fingers hook into her panties. Pushing them down, he let them drop to her ankles. Covering her bottom with the warmth of his hands, he tested the flesh in his palms and hummed out. It had her eyelashes fluttering to a close, her lips parting and a soft sight escaped them.

Using his strength, Negan picked her up in his arms and carried her over toward the center of the bed. Laying her down, he was careful in the way he moved her. Watching his every movement, her pupils dilated with desire with him pushing his fingers into the hemline of his boxer briefs. Getting the material down his body had her lips parting. Even though she knew his body from when they were younger, it was so much different now. Crawling in over her, Negan heard the nervous sound that fell from her parted lips.

“You don’t have to be nervous with me,” Negan assured her, resting himself comfortably between her thighs. Tracing his rough fingertips over her shoulders had a smile tugging at his handsome features. Following his finger’s movements, Negan deposited soft, gentle kisses over her shoulder toward her collar bone. The sound of her breathing grew louder with his kisses sliding in over her neck and then over her jawline. Right now his aim was to make her feel comfortable. Meeting her bottom lip, Negan pressed delicate kisses over it. It had her eyes slamming shut with a whimper falling from her throat. Bracing himself on his arms as they rest at her sides, Negan’s kisses were passionate and focused. Meticulous in the way he was comforting her. “I would never hurt you.”

“Negan,” she pressed her hand in over the center of his chest suddenly feeling very self-conscious about herself. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so honest, but she felt like this needed to be put out there. “I’ve only been with Joel. I might not be any good at this because he’s the only man I’ve been with.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” he interrupted with another charming smile, trying to calm her instead of having her panic. “I don’t care how many people you’ve been with. I know how I feel about you. All I need to know is that you want this.”

“I do,” she whispered without second guessing things. More than anything she knew in that moment that she wanted to be with him. “I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Nothing with you could disappoint me,” Negan professed, once again taking her breath away. Just with his words alone he had her hooked. Starting to press kisses over her jawline, Negan knew that he wanted to focus on her. Relax her enough so she could stop worrying about things. Gradually his kisses led to her lips. Each caress of his lips over hers was filled with so much passion behind it that it had her pulse leaping in her throat. Soft bucking motions of his hips against hers had her tremoring beneath him. “I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember.”

Stroking her hand down over the side of Negan’s face had his long eyelashes fluttering to a close. Just having her touch him with that tenderness could affect him that much. Nibbling at her bottom lip, Negan balanced his weight on his left arm. Dropping his right hand, he palmed in over her warmth triggering a moan to fall from her. Caressing at her body, Negan wanted to make sure that she was still okay with this before reaching between them.

Whimpering out, she felt the tip of his manhood at her entrance. Instead of rushing it, Negan got comfortable again over her. Hooking his fingers with hers, Negan pressed her left hand down against the bed. Locking their eyes, he wanted to watch everything when he pushed his hips forward. Tipping her head back, she purred out but didn’t close her eyes. She wanted to be connected with Negan in this moment. The expression he gave her as he slowly sank into her was unlike anything she had seen from him. They both moaned in unison with just that small amount of him entering her. Bracing himself, Negan knew that he was going to be a mess if he didn’t hold himself together.

Allowing her to get comfortable, Negan curled his hands under her shoulders bringing them closer. Starting to kiss her as he began to roll his hips, Negan took his time with her. Not wanting to rush this. This was a moment he waited most of his life for. He wanted it to last. He wanted to remember it. The way she looked. The way she felt. How she panted his name softly with every move he made.

This was all very romantic. Something she wouldn’t have imagined with Negan’s personality or the kind of man that he was, but she liked it. It was close contact. His chest pressed against hers. The base of his erection grinding against her clitoris adding to the friction of his thrusts. It was a full, stretching sensation that she enjoyed very much. Sinking her fingers into his damp hair, she loved the way he praised her and said exactly what she wanted to hear in a moment of being made love to.

Kissing him took away all the worries and the fears she had in that moment. What he was doing not only made her body feel good, but it made her mind feel that way too. Scratching lightly over his shoulders and down his back led to her fingers squeezing at his bottom. Having the muscles flexing and relaxing beneath her touch with every roll forward of his hips turned her on more than it should of.

“This is everything I’ve wanted for so fucking long,” Negan whispered, his lips hovering over hers. Muted moans were escaping him causing her to tremor beneath him. There was a fire building up inside of her with his steady movements. “You are so beautiful.”

Crying out, she kissed at Negan’s collarbone, nipping faintly at the skin with her hips arching up toward him. It surprised her how easily her body was reacting to this. Everything felt so good. Even before he started this she was sensitive from their earlier moments, so when her first orgasm hit her it didn’t surprise her how much it affected her body. Burying his head against the side of her neck, Negan moaned enjoying the way that she felt. Pressing her hand to his lower abdomen had him waiting for her, his breathing uneven.

“Are you okay?” Negan confirmed with her when she opened her eyes and caressed her palms up his long abdomen toward his chest.

“More than okay,” she alerted him, getting a weak smile from him. Every part of her was enjoying this. It was both physically and mentally rewarding.

Rolling onto his side, Negan brought her with him hooking her leg over his hip. Having him spooning her like this was so much more intimate than she thought tonight would be but she wasn’t complaining. This way she could kiss him and focus on him. Touch him and cherish the moment.

This time she reached between them to grab his rigid length in her grasp. Lifting her hips in closer to his, she led his body to hers. Sinking her hips down had her warmth taking him in. His lips parted, his hazel eyes dropping to look down to watch their bodies connecting.

Thrust after thrust felt incredible. Their breathing matched each other. Their hands caressing and touching each other’s bodies. This was about learning each other all over again. This time more than they had when they were younger.

“Negan,” she purred his name, pressing her forehead to his. Muted moans vibrated against her lips. It was a thrilling sensation with his fingers digging into her hips helping their movements. Kisses were pressed against her lips while Negan praised her again and again. It was everything someone would want for their first time with someone.

Pushing her hand slightly into Negan’s chest had him rolling onto his back with the pressure. With his body pulling from hers, it had her whimpering out with the aching emptiness that followed. Licking his lips, Negan watched her close as she crawled in over him. First her hands started at his hips, caressing up over them toward the center of his chest.

“You have no idea how many nights I dreamt about this when we were younger,” Negan slurred, wincing when her warmth hovered over his aching erection. “I feel like a teenage boy all over again.”

“Everything about you is perfect,” she assured him, lowering in closer to him with her mouth just hanging in over his. Leading his hand between them, she helped him lead his cock back to her body. Lowering her hips down had her sinking down over his length. Clutching tightly to Negan, her eyes slammed close and she tremored with the moan that followed from him. Pulling her hips forward and then dropping them back again had her cries growing louder and more frequent. More than anything she wanted this close contact with him. Negan’s mouth was peppering her neck with kisses, his hands caressing her body in awe. It was obvious that Negan cherished her body and it made her feel good in so many ways.

“Fuck,” Negan lifted his head watching her movements over him with the small amount of room that was left between their bodies.

“You feel so good inside of me,” she purred against his lips having him moan. Unlike Joel, Negan was a very verbal lover. His moans could be heard, he praised her with everything that she did. His hands caressed at her sides, over her bottom and up her back.

Hovering her lips over his, she enjoyed taking in the facial expressions he was making while she worked her hips over his length. Everything about this made her feel good and it wasn’t just about the sex. It was feeling seen. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Grunting out, Negan pulled himself up into a seated position, wrapping his arms around her waist to help bring her hips over him. His mouth pressed kisses at her jawline, nipping slightly at her skin. Moaning out, Negan enjoyed how her nails bit at his back not trying to hurt him, but to show how much she enjoyed what was happening.

“I’m going to come,” his groan vibrated against her lips leading her to use the strength she had to start riding him harder.

There was something in the way that Negan tipped his head back to look at her that absolutely took her breath away. Palming in over the side of her face, Negan brought her to kiss him. Her body was tremoring over him with her leading herself to another orgasm. Crying out against his lips, she felt him tensing beneath her, his moans letting her know his orgasm was approaching. Hearing Negan slur out her name had her eyes slamming shut. Winces escaped his throat with the throbbing of his cock inside of her, the twitching alerting her that his release followed soon after. Their movements continued through his orgasm, their eyes locked. Her body was weak, aching in the best of ways. By the grumble of his raspy moan and his head falling in against the side of her neck she knew that she had milked him completely of his orgasm. In his arms she stayed, liking the way it felt with Negan pressing kisses at the side of her neck. Cuddling her head in against his shoulder, she wrapped her arms tighter around him with their breathing still loud and uneven.

“You were worth every minute of the wait it took for us to get here,” Negan hummed, his head tipping back while she stroked her fingers through his damp, dark hair. It made her smile and they kissed a few times.

“That was a lot of minutes,” she pointed out tipping her head back to stare down at Negan who shook his head and smiled. “I’m not sure I was worth that.”

“You were,” Negan assured her, nipping at her bottom lip and dragging his tongue faintly against her flesh. “You’re perfect.”

Perfect was not something she would have used to describe herself, but she liked hearing it. For a while they laid in bed with her tracing out shapes over his chest and lower abdomen. Talking about things they still hadn’t caught up on. Something inside of her reminded her that so many people would have killed to be in the position she was in. Laying in the arms of Negan Smith. The big-time baseball player that so many people knew. But to her? This was the man that was her childhood best friend. The man that saw all of her and still remembered the little details. Things that people in her life now didn’t even know.

Everything about this was flawless. And she knew that. Negan made love to her. He made her feel special. And this was the most comfortable she had been with anyone in a very long time. The only problem was knowing that she was having these feelings about Negan while still having the feelings that she did for Joel. Then again, she felt pretty crazy thinking about Joel in a moment like this. Joel and Negan were so vastly different. Both perfect in their own ways. But she shouldn’t have been thinking about Joel right now. Yet, she couldn’t stop herself from making comparisons between the two and that worried her.

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis

#jeffrey dean morgan #negan #the walking dead #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #twd fanfiction #negan smut #negan x you #Negan Smith #The Last of Us #Pedro Pascal #Joel Miller #Joel Miller fanfiction #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x you #The Last of Us fanfiction #The Walking dead fanfiction #tlou fanfiction

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kaysteahouse · 2 years ago

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Me: I don't have a type

Also me:

#oh traumatized men who dont know how to express their emotions #how i love you<3 #bucky Barnes #joel miller #daryl dixon #joel miller x reader #bucky barns x reader #daryl dixon x reader #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #mcu #twd #tlou #tlou joel #twd daryl #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes x reader

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kenobiwanx · 25 days ago

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HELLO EVERYONE!!

Commissions are open for November 💫

As I already have 4 people on the waitlist. There's only more 4 slots left.

So if you're interested, hurry to my dms or email me. And please just ask for a slot if you're sure you CAN and WANT to commission me.

I can draw any character!

I will start working on November commissions around day 6th! following the waitlist line!

feel free to ask me any questions 💜

Thank you!!

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hazashiovo · 8 months ago

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I can't stop thinking about this crossover and it's driving me nuts.

Imagine being captured by Negan's group while on the hunt for the woman who killed your gf's dad.

This dude would not stop making sex jokes at you,and your girlfriend HATES it.

The two of you somehow manage to escape after a while of being held captive, but now not only are you hunting her father's killer,but you're also being hunted by Negan's people.

I love my brain sometimes.

If I think of this hard enough I might make it an image, either this,or Ellie being a Savior and capturing Reader while she's out scavenging.

It's pretty fucking noticeable I'm a huge fan of tlou and twd.

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imaginary98 · 2 years ago

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I need these two together ASAP 😩

#rick grimes smut #joel miller #the last of us #tlou show #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fluff #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x reader smut #rick grimes x reader #twd fanfiction #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes

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wingedtrash · 7 months ago

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My intro/begging for motivation

(after literally leaving this account vacant for months)

My names Ellie, I write (when I feel like it which isn’t very much anymore bc… writers block)

But maybe y’all can help me out of that by leaving requests/asks for the following fandoms? Please I’m begging

Said fandoms being:

The Walking Dead

Red Dead Redemption

The Last of us

Marvel (in general)

X-Men

Resident Evil

COD

Blue eye Samurai

The new Fallout Prime show

Etc. if I can think of more I’ll keep listing

I write smut and fluff, don’t be shy with asks because I will write just about anything. Of course when we get into the smut territory there will have to be some boundaries, but I can go into those after I get a couple of asks because this probably isn’t going to gain any traction anyway.

Thank you for reading and perhaps think about leaving an ask for me to write!

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pedroscurls · 2 years ago

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Title: One Drunken Night (Part 4.)

CHAPTER TITLE: Negan Smith

Character(s): Negan (pre-apocalypse) and Reader (third-person POV), cameo from Lucille Summary: Negan and Reader bump into each other once more. Could it be a sign from the universe? Word Count: 3,509 Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated solely for Negan! Also, I missed Negan in my previous chapter, but as I was writing this one... I started missing Joel. I’m in a dilemma lol. Warning: Dirty talk, foul language (it’s Negan lol), grinding, almost smut ;)

Y/N was excited. Joel was interested in her and she felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of finally going on a date with him. She tried to continue her work week, but it was obvious her mind was elsewhere. Though, she was broken out of her reverie when her phone started to ring.

It was Joel.

“Hey you,” she smiled to herself. “I can’t wait for tonight.”

Joel sighed. That was a clear sign that something was wrong and Y/N was now awaiting bad news.

“I’m sorry, darlin’. Somethin’ came up…” He hated to cancel on her, especially when she sounded so excited. It still surprised him that Y/N wanted to go out with him and now, here he was, canceling on her.

“Oh.” She felt embarrassed, sad, disappointed. “That’s okay. Is everything okay?”

“It’s just Tommy… I gotta handle that first. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Joel.” She bit her lower lip. “We’ll find another day and time. We’ll figure it out.” Y/N was trying to hold it together. She tried to mask her disappointment, but she wasn’t sure that she was doing a good job of it. She knew it wasn’t Joel’s fault, but she still felt crushed.

“All right then. I gotta go, darlin’.”

“Sure. Hope everything turns out okay.”

“Hope so too. I’ll talk to you soon. Again, I’m sorry, darlin’.”

When the call ended, Y/N sighed. She looked down at her desk and once again, but her lower lip. She tried to keep herself composed; it felt almost too good to be true. The moment she and Joel were supposed to go on a date, something came up and she didn’t know what to make of it.

As she went about the rest of her day, Y/N kept thinking back to Joel. She wanted to call him again, text him, just talk to him, but decided against it. She knew Joel wouldn’t lie to her and it did sound like he, too, was upset that he had to cancel.

Once her work day finished, Y/N made it a point to stop by the store. Honestly, she was sad and she needed a pick-me-up, so she decided on getting a pint of ice cream. All she wanted was to talk to Joel, but she had to give him his space. She knew that he would reach out to her once everything was settled.

At the store, Y/N was standing in the middle of the ice cream aisle. She was thinking of so many things: of Joel, of their canceled date, what kind of ice cream she should get, what Joel was doing… It wasn’t until she heard a familiar voice that she was brought out of her trance.

“We gotta stop meeting like this.”

Y/N looked over at him and flashed him a small smile. “Negan…”

“You know, now I’m convinced that the universe is trying to tell us something.”

“And what’s that?”

Negan smirked, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “We gotta have another night of fun.”

Y/N bit her lower lip as a response. Her insides tingled and the heat between her legs became noticeable as she thought back to the night they shared earlier in the week. At that moment, she had forgotten about Joel and their canceled date. It was interesting though. While she and Negan did have each other’s numbers, they hadn’t spoken to each other since the morning at the coffee shop. It was an honest coincidence that they bumped into each other again.

“You really think that’s a good idea?”

“Why don’t you tell me what you think, doll?”

Y/N bit her lower lip, turning to face him. She noticed his dimpled smirk and could feel his confidence radiating.

“I think…” She stepped closer. She could practically feel Negan’s breath against her and his scent filled her senses; it was intoxication.

“Yeah?” He arched a brow, licking his lower lip and watching her closely.

“I think I’m going to go home and eat some ice cream.”

Negan chuckled, watching her reach into the freezer to grab a pint of cookies and creme ice cream. He looked at her, running a hand over his face. “You know, you’ve got me wrapped around your pretty little finger, doll.”

Y/N smiled, flashing him a wink. She didn’t respond, but started to walk away. When she realized Negan wasn’t following her, she stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder.

“You gonna join me or what?”

Negan grinned, pocketing both hands into his pants as he walked towards her. “Lead the way, doll.”

—

Negan was sitting on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table as he was watching a basketball game. He looked over at the sound of the door opening, seeing Lucille walk into the house.

“Hey,” he called out.

Lucille looked over at him, arching a brow. “Did you eat?”

“Was waiting for you.” Negan said, biting his lower lip. He wanted to repair his marriage, wanted to do whatever he could to salvage his relationship with Lucille.

“That’s sweet,” she smiled. Negan felt his heart flutter at the sight. “But I ate already.”

Negan sighed, nodding his head. “That’s okay. Come join me?”

Lucille looked over in his direction, biting her lower lip nervously. She set her things down and nodded, removing her shoes and climbing into the couch next to him.

Negan let a small smile line his lips and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He felt her lean against him and Negan felt a rush of hope run through him.

They sat like that for a couple of minutes, watching the game and just enjoying her presence. It wasn’t until she reached for his beer that she noticed something was missing from her hand.

“Where’s your ring?”

Lucille looked down at her hand, her brow arching slightly. “Oh… Um, I must have taken it off earlier.” She lied. She had stopped wearing her wedding ring, but he had just noticed now.

“Why?” Negan asked, pulling away from her.

Lucille didn’t answer.

“Why, Lucille?”

“I stopped wearing it.” She admitted.

Negan felt his heart break and immediately stood from the couch. “Really? Fucking really?”

“Negan–”

“No. I have tried, Lucille! You don’t even want to look at me anymore, or touch me… It’s like you hate my fucking guts and I have no idea how we got to this point.”

Lucille felt her blood boiling again, tossing her hands up in the air in defeat. “That’s because I don’t like being around you!”

Negan felt his heart break even more. “What?”

“I’m tired, Negan.” Lucille admitted. “I don’t know how to fix this, to fix us.”

“And you think by removing your ring, that it would just solve everything?”

“No… Negan, just–”

“Just fucking say it, Lucille.”

She bit her lip, shaking her head. “Maybe we should– Maybe we should just take some time for ourselves, figure out what we both really want and if this is worth fighting for.”

Negan shook his head, removing his ring and slamming it on the coffee table. “Take all the time you fucking need, Lucille.”

Negan left the living room and walked to their bedroom, grabbing a duffle bag and packing a week’s worth change of clothes. He didn’t bother to look at her on his way out, just being in the same house with her was breaking his heart and it hurt like hell.

He didn’t know where this left them.

—

Y/N made it back to her apartment with Negan. He was surprisingly respecting her space when Y/N assumed that his hands would be all over her. He stepped inside and looked over at her, his mind drifting to the night they shared.

“Want anything to drink?”

“Water’s fine.” Y/N nodded. “Make yourself at home.” She left him in the living room and walked to her bedroom first, setting her things down and changing into much more comfortable clothing. Once changed into shorts and an oversized hoodie, she walked back out to her kitchen to retrieve his glass of water and spoon for her pint of ice cream.

Negan looked around her living room, noticing the variety of photographs that were displayed. He smiled at a photo of her and a photo of a corgi. She looked significantly younger, but she looked happy nonetheless.

He turned his attention to her once she entered the living room. Negan noticed the change of her clothes and he smiled. She was just the distraction he needed at the moment. He took the glass from her hands, his fingers brushing against hers.

“You take all of these?” Negan asked, pointing to the photographs.

“Yeah. I’m a photographer.”

“Oh, no shit?” Negan smiled. “They look great.”

“Thanks. I’m still trying to get my own art show, but it’s a work in progress.”

He watched her take a seat on the couch, bringing her legs onto the couch. “This your dog?” Negan asked once more, pointing to the photograph of her with a corgi.

Y/N smiled sadly. “Yeah, I grew up with him.”

Negan smiled, walking towards her and taking a seat next to her. “Is he…”

She nodded. “Yeah. He lived an amazing fourteen years.”

“What was his name?”

“Waffles.”

Negan chuckled. “Waffles?”

“Yeah. I named him after my favorite food,” she nodded. “My parents got him for me when I was around thirteen.”

“You’re cute,” Negan said abruptly. “Sorry. I mean–”

“Thanks, you too.” Y/N replied, trying to ease the tension. Negan felt himself relax a bit and he set his glass down onto the coffee table. He watched her open her pint of ice cream, tilting his head in amusement.

“Anyway, Waffles and I… We were a package deal. Wherever I went, he was right there. Took him with me for college. He helped me through my parents’ deaths.” She admitted.

“I’m sorry,” Negan said.

“It’s okay. It happened a while ago.”

He bit his lower lip. He didn’t think his night would end with serious conversations with a woman he slept with, but he didn’t mind. It had been a long time since he had a decent conversation with someone that didn’t lead to him being yelled at.

“I didn’t mean to pry,” he said. “I just– You interest me.”

“Is that because we slept with each other?”

Negan smirked. “Maybe, but… There’s just something about you. Can’t put my finger on it.”

“Well, what more do you want to know?”

Negan arched a brow, watching her lips part as she brought the spoon up to her mouth. He tried to not let his dirty mind speak for him, so instead, he took her invitation and started to get to know her.

“Favorite color?”

Y/N laughed. “Red. You?”

Negan grinned. “Same. Looks like we have a lot in common,” he winked.

“That’s one thing,” she giggled.

Negan smiled to himself. She made him feel good and the way she looked at him made all his concerns and problems disappear. It was like she was luring him in, silently saying that he was safe with her.

“Well, two things we have in common… Favorite color and favorite sport,” he replied, referring to the night they met and their conversation about basketball.

“Okay, good point.”

“Have any siblings?” Negan asked.

Y/N shook her head. “Only child.”

“Me too. See. I think we make a good match,” he winked.

“You don’t quit, do you?” Y/N blushed, finding herself moving closer to him.

“With you? No chance in hell.” Negan noticed how she was inching herself closer and Negan reached out to rest his arm on the back of the couch, running his fingertips along the back of her shoulder.

“What do you do?” Y/N asked.

“Gym teacher.”

She widened her eyes slightly and Negan noticed her blush even more. “What?”

“I think it’s great that you’re a gym teacher. Do you like it?”

Negan shrugged. He debated whether or not he should lie to her and then he remembered what Lucille said. He had always complained about his job, but did nothing to change it. So, instead, he replied, “It pays the bills.”

Y/N didn’t push the subject further, which he was grateful for. Negan didn’t want to talk about himself. He didn’t want to deal with the fact that he was still married and that just being with Y/N was wrong while he was still in a committed relationship. Sure, his marriage was falling apart, but he was still a married man nonetheless.

“You want some?” Y/N asked, motioning to her ice cream.

Negan licked his lips. “You gonna feed me?”

“If you want me to.”

Negan smirked, shaking his head. He reached over to grab her spoon, taking a spoonful of ice cream and bringing it to his lips. He watched her eyes drift to his lips and he smirked. Though, Negan did tell himself that kissing was off limits.

“That’s yummy.”

“My favorite ice cream,” she replied.

“Good to know,” he winked.

Negan watched as Y/N set aside her ice cream. He arched his brow and cleared his throat once she straddled his waist. Immediately, he felt himself stiffen slightly at the feel of her sitting on his lap.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hi.”

Negan bit his lower lip, resting his hands on her hips. He looked into her eyes, feeling himself get lost in her orbs. When she rolled her hips, Negan let out a low growl and gripped her hips tightly.

“What are you doing?” Negan asked.

“What does it feel like I’m doing?”

She wrapped her arms around him, linking her hands at the base of his neck as she continued to roll her hips. Her shorts slightly rode up, revealing more of her legs and the thin fabric made her feel the bulge that was growing from beneath Negan’s pants.

“You’re making me feel like a goddamn teenager with the way you’re moving,” he growled.

“Yeah? What do you want me to do?” she whispered huskily.

Negan gripped her hips to stop her from moving, looking at her from top to bottom. He didn’t respond, but rather grabbed the ends of her oversized hoodie to pull over her head. Once more, she was bare and not wearing a bra which made Negan groan, causing his cock to twitch against his pants.

“You’re killing me,” he exaggerated. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

Y/N bit her lip, grabbing his hands and instead placing them over her exposed breasts instead. Then, she began rolling her hips once more. She put more pressure against him, her bulge pressing firmly against her that she sped her movements.

“Goddamn, look at you,” he grinned. “I’m not even inside of you, but you’re riding me like I am.”

Y/N whimpered at his voice and choice of words. She leaned down, trying to kiss him but instead, he pressed his lips to her neck, moving down to her collarbone. She didn’t mind though, it felt much better with his lips against her skin, his beard brushing against her.

“Can we move this into your bedroom?”

Y/N pulled back, looking into his eyes. “Can I get a please?”

Negan smirked. “Only because you’re being a good girl. Can we please move this into your bedroom?”

She grinned, standing from his lap. Y/N stood before Negan, clad in nothing but her shorts. Negan couldn’t stop staring at her, his eyes raking over her frame possessively. She extended a hand out for him and Negan happily took it, turning her around so that he could press against her from behind. His lips attached to her neck once more, sucking on it gently as he felt her push back against him.

“Keep on moving or I’ll take you where you stand,” he growled. “I can easily push you against the wall and fuck you right there.”

Y/N felt the heat pool between her legs, turning to look over her shoulder. “And what if I wanted that?”

Negan grunted. He pushed her against the wall in her hallway, watching as she reached out to rest her hands against it. He licked his lips and grabbed her shorts, tugging them down her legs roughly. Negan’s eyes looked her over once more, noticing how inviting her slit looked as she bent over for him.

Negan groaned, bringing a hand down to her backside. His palm connecting with her flesh echoed throughout her hallway and he noticed a red imprint slowly beginning to form.

“Goddamn, I’m gonna fuck you so good, baby.”

“Please, Negan…”

Just as Negan was about to undo his pants, Y/N phone began to ring. Suddenly, she was broken out of whatever trance she was in and her mind drifted to Joel. Negan was taken by surprise when she stood back up and walked to her phone, noticing the change in her demeanor.

“It’s Joel.” She whispered, looking almost as if she was caught cheating on him. Y/N knew that they weren’t in a relationship so it wasn’t like she couldn’t sleep with other people.

Negan sighed. It felt like no one really wanted him and he cleared his throat, nodding his head. “You better take that.”

“You sure?”

Negan nodded, grabbing her hoodie from the living room and handing it to her. He ran his thumb across her nipple, watching as she licked her lower lip. The phone kept ringing and it served as a reminder for them both that maybe what they were doing was wrong.

“Rain check?” She asked.

Negan chuckled. “You sure about that, doll?”

Y/N bit her lower lip. “I like you, Negan.”

He sighed. Negan was lying to her and while he did like her as well, he couldn’t help but think back to Lucille. What he was doing… It was wrong, but there was just something about Y/N that he couldn’t get enough of.

“You better answer that,” he replied, motioning towards her phone. Negan was gathering his things, watching as she pulled on her hoodie once more. He felt jealous and sad. Jealous because this other man, this Joel person, managed to grab her attention in the middle of their foreplay. And sad because he knew that she was out of reach and because he still had to go back to reality.

Y/N was conflicted. She wanted to answer the phone, but she also didn’t want Negan to feel like she was just using him. So, she held up a finger to get him to stay for a minute as she answered the phone.

“Hey, Joel.”

“Hey, darlin’. I–”

“Can you give me a sec?”

Y/N put herself on mute and walked towards Negan, running her hand along his leather jacket and up to cup his cheek. She felt his beard underneath her fingertips and noticed her slightly lean against her touch.

“Let me know when you get home?” She said.

Negan nodded. “Sure. Take care, Y/N.”

Negan left her apartment and walked back towards his car. He sighed, sitting in the driver’s seat as he felt a variety of emotions running through him. He didn’t know what he was doing. He thought back to Lucille and remembered their conversation earlier that day. It just brought on more heartache and then he glanced over at Y/N’s apartment, letting out a heavy sigh.

It was a couple of minutes before Negan decided to leave the parking lot, but it wasn’t before his phone rang.

It was Y/N.

“Miss me already, doll?” Negan smiled.

“Actually, yes. Listen…” Negan heard her sigh. “I’m confused right now, but I do like talking to you.”

“Me too,” Negan admitted.

“Can you come back?” she asked.

Negan was taken by surprise but as he thought back to Lucille, he felt his heart ache and anger beginning to bubble. Maybe he wasn’t thinking straight, but he didn’t care. Lucille had basically given up on him and while he knew it was coming, it didn’t prepare him for the hurt he was feeling.

“Would you be surprised if I said I didn’t leave yet?”

Negan heard her giggle. It made him feel good to know that he could make another person, another woman, laugh and smile. It made him feel like less of a failure.

“How about I order us some pizza and we can just… Hang out,” she replied.

“Hang out huh?” He smirked, leaving his car and walking towards her door. “I think that sounds like a good idea.”

Y/N opened the door, still holding the phone to her ear. She smiled at the sight of him and hung up the phone, biting her lower lip and taking his hand to bring him inside.

“What about Joel?” Negan asked.

“Like I said, I’m confused… I like you… But I also like him.”

He nodded. “Surprisingly, I’m okay with that. I’ll take what I can get.”

---

Part 5.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged!): @kaitebugg03, @a-girl-interupted, @igotbasicdrag, @darkshadow6200

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