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pedroscurls · 2 years ago

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Title: One Drunken Night (Part 7.)

CHAPTER TITLE: Finally

Character(s): Joel Miller (pre-apocalypse, au) and Reader (third-person POV), also a brief cameo from Negan Summary: Joel and Reader navigate their new relationship after finding out the sex of the baby. Word Count: 4,606 Author's Note: As the title suggests... It’s finally here! Warning: Negan being an asshole, but at least Joel finally gets it in. (pregnant) SMUT ;)

Joel wasn’t expecting those words to leave her lips. He didn’t know what to say as his mind drifted to Negan. He had to wonder if she told him and how this would change everything.

But he couldn’t help but notice the look on her face. She was worried, scared, lost and Joel wanted nothing more than just to pull her back into his arms and reassure her that things would be okay, but he wasn’t sure it would be.

Joel noticed the tears beginning to pool at her eyes once more and instinctually, he reached for her hand.

“Hey, hey… It’s alright, darlin’.”

She shook her head, pulling away. “It’s not, Joel! I’m fucking pregnant… How can I be so stupid? What in the hell was I thinking?”

He sighed. Joel didn’t know how to console her, so instead, he decided to just listen.

“I’m scared,” she whispered. “I don’t– I don’t think I’m gonna be a good mom. I’m such a mess. I’m still trying to establish myself in my career as a photographer. How am I going to take care of someone else? To be responsible for another little human being?”

Joel bit the inside of his cheek. He thought back to the moment he found out he was going to be a dad and it had also scared him, but all of his concerns and worries disappeared when he held Sarah for the first time. He had never loved someone as much as he did Sarah.

“Hey, how ‘bout we take a breath for a second?” Joel said softly, noticing the panicked look on her face.

“Come on, darlin’...” Joel took her hands. He looked directly into her eyes and took a deep breath, watching her do the same. “That’s good,” he added, seeing her slow her breaths as she began to calm down.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking down at their hands.

“What for?”

“Not returning your calls or messages. For our date. For everything.”

Joel sighed. He couldn’t believe she was the one apologizing when she didn’t do anything wrong.

“You ain’t gotta apologize for anything.” He began, “I shouldn’t have gotten upset. We never established anything, so you were entitled to see who you wanna see, be with who you wanna be with and I just–” Joel took a deep breath and looked away. “I got jealous.”

“Why?”

Joel then turned his attention back to her. He wanted to kiss her, to tell her how much he adored her and how much he loved her, but he couldn’t. Especially not right now with everything going on.

“I don’t know. I just– I just think you deserve the world,” he sighed. “Sorry, that was cheesy.”

She flashed him a small smile and looked down at herself. “What am I gonna do, Joel?”

“What do you wanna do, darlin’? It’s your body. You decide what you want.”

She bit her lower lip. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to fail. What if I’m not a good mom?”

Joel tilted his head. He dropped her hand to cup her cheek, running his thumb across her cheek. “Honestly, darlin’, I think you’d be an amazing mom. Know why?”

“Why?” She leaned into his touch.

“‘Cause you’re thoughtful and caring, always making sure everyone is okay before you even think about yourself.” He leaned stepped closer to her, keeping his eyes solely on hers. “And I’ll be here with you, every step of the way.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You ain’t askin’. I’m offerin’.”

“But–”

Joel shook his head. “I’m not leavin’ your side, darlin’. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll be right here with you.”

She nodded, moving to rest her head against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his frame and sighed contentedly, inhaling his scent as it filled her senses. It wasn’t until this moment that she felt that no matter what she decided, Joel was going to be there for her. It gave her a sense of reassurance, a sense of safety to know that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Truthfully, Joel had become her safe place and while she was so deeply in love with the man, she couldn’t help but that her mind also drifted to Negan. She thought back to their last conversation and how he had mentioned that he had a lot going on and couldn’t be the person she wanted him to be.

It hurt more now that she knew she was carrying his baby. She wanted to call him, to let him know that he was going to be a father, but for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to contact him. It was like every time she got close enough to dial his number, something always interrupted her and so, she took that as a sign to leave him alone.

“Can you stay?” She asked quietly.

“Whatever you want, darlin’.”

She brought him to her bedroom and laid down on her bed. Joel hesitated for a moment until she reached a hand out for him. He took that as a sign that she wanted him next to her and so, he removed his boots and climbed into her bed. The line of being just friends had been crossed the night of their date and when he felt her snuggle closer to him, Joel had no regrets. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and felt her arm drape over his midsection.

This felt normal. It felt like home to him, like this was where they both were supposed to be.

The silence consumed them. She felt comfortable being next to him, in his arms and she shut her eyes. She finally felt like she could relax and despite the plenty of thoughts running through her mind, she felt oddly at ease in Joel’s arms. The past couple of days were exhausting and she finally allowed herself to rest. With her cheek resting against Joel’s chest and her arm draped over him, she slowly fell asleep.

Joel, on the other hand, glanced down at her to see her eyes were shut. When he heard her breaths slow down and a quiet snore coming from her, he smiled. He didn’t know what this meant for them, but Joel meant every single word he told her. He wasn’t going anywhere and whatever she decided, he was going to support her and be there for her no matter what.

She was worth it.

And Joel was ready to take a risk with her.

—

The first trimester had been a tough one on her, but she was lucky that Joel had been there for her every single day. Sometimes, she would wake up in the middle of the night with a random craving to find Joel lying on the couch, his arm draped over his eyes and a quiet snore filtering her quiet living room. He had been spending the night a couple of days every week, just to make sure that she was okay. Their feelings for each other though, just heightened and the tension was thick in the air.

Since finding out she was pregnant, she knew that she couldn’t be in a relationship with Joel. It wasn’t fair to him and she believed that he deserved better than her. Instead, she forced herself to believe that he was truly just a good friend, ensuring that her first three months of pregnancy would go as smoothly as it could.

Today, though, would mark the middle of her second trimester and she had a doctor’s appointment where they would find out the sex of the baby. That morning, Joel had cooked her breakfast, watching her enter the kitchen. There was a sense of glow around her and Joel always found himself staring a minute longer than he should.

“Mornin’,” he called out. “You hungry?”

“Always.”

Joel served her a plate, watching her lips turn into a wide grin. It made him happy to know that he could make her smile, make her laugh. It felt good.

“Waffles?!” She said excitedly.

“I was in the mood for somethin’ sweet,'' he smiled, sitting next to her. “And I know it’s your favorite.”

“Lucky me.” She leaned against him, bringing her fork up to her lips. She let out a quiet moan, which caught Joel’s attention immediately. “So good.”

He nodded, shifting in his seat. It had been great spending most nights at her place and as her baby bump was becoming noticeable, Joel found himself falling deeper.

“Are you sure you wanna come with me?” She asked in between bites.

“I haven’t missed an appointment yet. I’m not missin’ this one.”

She smiled. “But I just– You don’t have to do this, you know? It’s my responsibility and–”

Joel shook his head, interrupting her. “You ain’t getting rid of me, darlin’. I want this.”

“But–”

“But nothin’ darlin’.” Joel turned to face her, letting a small smile line his lips at the sight of her. She looked up at him and once more, he was captivated by her big eyes.

“You’re too good to me.” She dropped her eyes to his lips, clearing her throat quietly. Joel had taken such good care of her and while neither of them had made a move, the tension lingered, almost serving a a reminder of what could be if they crossed that line together.

“You deserve everything and more, darlin’.” His voice came out as a whisper and he inched closer, their lips mere inches from one another.

“Joel, I–”

“We should get going.” Joel had to pull himself out of the trance, of that moment, and while he yearned to close the distance, they needed to have a conversation first. He didn’t want to dive into this without having a serious conversation of what they both wanted.

She sighed quietly and took a couple of more bites of her food. “We find out if this baby is a boy or a girl..”

Joel nodded, helping her out of her apartment and into his car. “Just remember, you ain’t alone.”

—

“So, do we want to know who we’ve got in here?” The doctor asked, pulling Y/N out her thoughts as the baby’s heartbeat filtered the room.

“Um…” She bit her lower lip anxiously. This was increasingly becoming more real and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for it. Though, when she looked over at Joel and noticed him looking back at her, she felt herself relax a bit.

“Whatever you wanna do,” he reassured.

“Y–Yeah.” She finally replied. “We want to know.”

The doctor gave her a warm smile and turned her attention back to the screen. She let a smile line her lips and took a photo so that Y/N and Joel could go home with a picture.

“Well…” The doctor began, turning to look at Y/N and Joel. “We’ve got a healthy, little girl in here. Congratulations.”

Y/N felt tears sting her eyes, looking over at Joel who looked emotional as well. “A girl…” she whispered. “Wow…”

“Everything also looks great,” the doctor added. “I’ll see you again next month.”

Back at the apartment, neither Joel or Y/N said anything. Joel, while he was happy, felt an intense sadness. His mind drifted to Sarah and he immediately went straight to the living room to his things, falling back against the couch. Y/N followed, biting her lower lip anxiously as she saw him lie back with his arm draped over his eyes.

“Joel…” She called out quietly. She knew what he was thinking and she sighed to herself. He didn’t need to deal with this, especially not after Sarah. It wasn’t fair to him. “Maybe you should go… I can do this by myself. You’ve done so much already–”

Joel sat up, looking over at her with his hair disheveled and his eyes softening at the sight of her. He was on the verge of a breakdown, but he tried to pull himself together. For the safe of Y/N.

“No… I’ll be fine.”

“Joel–”

“I’m stayin’.”

“Then, we need to talk. About everything. Things just became that much more real, Joel.”

He sighed in response, looking away from her to wipe his eyes before any tears decided to make their way down his face. Joel took a deep breath and motioned for her to sit next to him. When she did, Joel immediately pulled her to his side, his arms wrapped around her. They stayed like this for a couple of minutes, the silence engulfing them, both minds drifting.

Joel thought of Sarah.

Y/N thought of her unborn daughter.

Joel wondered if he could do this again. It wasn’t even his child, but he committed to being there for Y/N and now, he couldn’t imagine leaving. Though, that didn’t mean it didn’t scare him.

It had been years since he lost Sarah and he was sure he never fully recovered. Everyday, her absence was noticeable and now here he was, with the woman he loved and her unborn daughter. He had to make a choice in this moment and as he kept his eyes solely on her, he knew what decision had to be made.

Joel was all in.

Y/N moved her eyes away from him, staring off into the distance. Her mind shifted to Negan, remembering their last conversation and how hurt she was after their brief talk. It was painful to hear him say such things and she vowed to never tell Joel.

She had called Negan about a month ago, deciding that he needed to know but he kept rejecting her calls. It wasn’t until one late night that he finally called her back. Luckily for her, Joel wasn’t spending the night that day and so he didn’t have to bear witness to the crying mess that Negan caused.

“Why the fuck do you keep calling me?” Negan spat. He was angry, frustrated, but not at anyone in particular. Only himself. Being with Lucille and seeing the pain she had to endure everyday took a toll on him and he felt helpless; what could he possibly do?

“I was– It’s a bit late, can we talk about this tomorrow? Maybe in person?”

“No. We’re talking now. Now, answer the fucking question, doll. I told you. We’re done.” Negan didn’t mean to hurt her, but he was just so frustrated with the world and it was proven that he never really knew how to deal with his emotions. Instead, he was destructive whenever problems arose. Either he got shitfaced drunk, got into an altercation with a random person, or a yelling match with Lucille.

He sighed. Lucille. His Lucille. Sick, in pain, and he couldn’t do anything about it. The universe had a funny way of punishing him. He really wished he could switch places with Lucille; he didn’t deserve to be healthy with the amount of mistakes he made.

“Are you okay?” She asked, only angering him further. “I really think we should talk in person. I understand that it’s over. I don’t want–”

He laughed. Y/N furrowed a brow and wondered what truly was going on. “I don’t ever want to see your fucking face ever again.”

“W–What?” Tears built in her eyes. She hadn’t known Negan that long, but she did genuinely like him and enjoyed his company. He could make her laugh and his smile always gave her butterflies in her tummy. She wasn’t certainly expecting this type of reaction and it made her emotional. She didn’t want to get back with him–not that they were in an exclusive relationship–but Y/N understood that when he ended “things”, there was no going back.

She just thought that he deserved to know he was going to be a father.

“Don’t fucking call me. Leave me the fuck alone. Got it?”

“Negan, I’m–”

“You’re what? Desperate?” He laughed again. “You have me a couple of times and that's all it takes for you to be whipped? Come on, doll. You got Joel. Or wait… Don’t tell he hadn’t made his move yet?” Once again, his laughter could be heard from the other end of the phone. “That coward.”

“Is this who you really are?” She asked, tears now strolling down her cheeks.

“All me, baby.” Negan replied. “Don’t be so surprised.”

“You’re a liar,” she replied. “Something’s going on and–”

“You don’t even fucking know me!” He yelled, which caused her to grip the phone. “We barely fucking know each other, so don’t act like you know who I am.”

“You’re right. I fucking don’t.” She finally argued back, anger bubbling within her and the thought that she was carrying his baby just simply terrified her. She wanted to tell him what was going on because she believed he deserved to know, but now… She made the decision to keep it from him. Her child didn’t need to be around him, especially if he was now treating her like this.

“Great. Now, leave me the fuck alone and don’t call me again.”

“Gladly, asshole.”

She was pulled out of her reverie when Joel called her name. She looked up at him, biting her lower lip as she leaned further against him instead. She found comfort being in his arms, against his broad chest. He felt safe. He felt like home.

“I know this ain’t my kid, but… I’m– I’m a bit scared.” He admitted. “I’m all in. I want you to know that, but it’s just–”

“Sarah,” she whispered, finishing his sentence for her.

“Yeah, Sarah…”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Joel, but you’ve been by my side from the beginning. I’m so grateful, but…”

“But?”

“I don’t want to put you in a position you aren’t comfortable with. This baby… She’s my responsibility,” she repeated. “And I don’t want this to bring up bad memories for you or make you confront things you don’t want to confront.” She sighed.

Joel didn’t know how to respond. All he could think about was Sarah and how much he missed her. He glanced over at Y/N and bit his lower lip. He pulled away for a moment and looked into her eyes.

“I’m gonna be real honest with you and I’m not sure where it’ll leave us afterwards, but you gotta know.” He stood from the couch to sit at the edge of the coffee table to face her.

“I was miserable for years after Sarah died,” Joel began. “I just– I did what I needed to get by, but I wasn’t living. I wasn’t happy.”

She reached out for him and Joel gladly took her hand. It was comforting, knowing that he could express himself this way. Joel was being vulnerable and he rarely ever let his guards down, but when he looked into her eyes, he felt safe. Her big eyes were staring back at him, reassuring him that he was safe with her. It made his heart flutter; it was as if her eyes were telling him, “I’m here. You’re okay. I got you.” She didn’t need to say those words for Joel to know, instead, she showed it through her actions and emotions.

He was so lucky.

“But then I met you.” Joel finally added. “And you just– You’re just such an amazing woman and you’ve helped me become… Happy again, darlin’. I started having better days because of you, so I’m in this.” He kept his eyes solely on hers and gently squeezed her hand.

“But I am scared. I won’t lie to you. I’m fuckin’ scared, darlin’, because I just don’t wanna fail you or your baby girl like I did with…” Joel felt his breath catch in his throat, only looking away once he felt tears stinging his eyes.

“You won’t,” she replied quickly. “And you didn’t fail Sarah. It was a tragic accident– That man shouldn’t have been drinking and driving anyway. You were both just at the wrong place at the wrong time. You couldn’t have known.” She tried to console him, to reassure him that Sarah’s death wasn’t his fault.

“I wanna do right by you,” Joel whispered.

“You’ll always be a good man to me, Joel.”

“You– You really believe that?”

“You could never disappoint me… And this baby… She’s going to be so lucky to have you in her life.”

Joel bit his lower lip and looked back up in her direction. She was so confident and trusted him so much that it almost scared him, but looking at her, he knew she meant every word. He noticed her leaning in and Joel’s lips lifted upwards.

“I know things are a bit complicated, but I just want you to know… I like you.” She added. “I’ve always had a thing for you, Joel, and I’m tired of hiding it. I don’t expect anything and I’m just–”

Joel interrupted her by leaning in to press his lips against hers, finally closing the distance. He dropped her hand to cup her cheek, moving his lips slowly with hers. He took his time, their lips moving in sync as they both reveled in this moment. It was a long time coming and neither Joel or Y/N knew it would be this good. This amazing. This electrifying.

Once again, it felt like home.

Joel pulled away to look at her, breathless and filled with desire. She looked into his eyes and bit her lower lip, feeling a sudden need building within her.

“I like you too, darlin’.” In fact, he loved her, but he didn’t want to just abruptly say it. So, instead, Joel decided to take it slow, but the way she was looking at him, he knew that she loved him too and it made him feel extremely happy.

And it had been a very long time since he felt this way.

“Can we– Um…” She blushed, biting her lower lip. “I really want you, Joel.”

Joel’s eyes widened slightly. He knew they should take things slow, but his lower half ached, yearning for her. It had been such a long time that he was probably sure that he wouldn’t last long, but with the way she was looking at him, biting her lower lip, Joel needed her just as bad as she needed him.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded eagerly. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Joel smiled, “Well then, darlin’, I suppose I shouldn’t keep you waiting anymore.”

Joel stood from the coffee table, feeling his pants get tighter at the thought of what was about to happen. He dropped a hand down, readjusting himself and noticing where Y/N’s eyes went immediately. She licked her lips and he extended a hand out for her, which she took eagerly.

“Lead the way, darlin’.”

She smiled, lacing their hands together as she led him down the hallway and to her bedroom. Once there, she gently pushed him against her bed and watched him fall back with a quiet chuckle. He leaned up on his forearms, watching as she began to remove her clothes. He shifted on the bed, undoing his belt and button to relieve some pressure.

Y/N dropped her pants, along with her panties and kept her sweater on.

“Is this weird?” She asked quietly.

“What?” Joel asked, forcing himself to look away from her now exposed her lower half.

She giggled. “We’re about to have sex and I’m pregnant. Is that okay?”

Joel tilted his head. “I don’t see a problem with it. You’re beautiful either way.”

She smiled, feeling a blush spread across her cheeks. When Joel removed his t-shirt and lowered his jeans, she had to squeeze her legs at the sight. His chest was broad and had a bit of chest hair, but it was just enough. She licked her lips as her eyes raked over the planes of his abdomen to the trail of hair disappearing into his boxers. She couldn’t believe this was about to happen. She had only dreamt of this moment and now that it was happening, she tried to keep her excitement at bay.

Though, the wetness between her legs served as a reminder of just how ready she was for him.

“It’s been a while,” he warned. “I wanna make sure you’re taken care of, but–”

She shook her head, stepping to him and leaning down to press her lips against him. He groaned, pulling her onto his lap once he kicked off his boxers. He felt his tip brush against her soaking heat, moaning against her lips.

“I’m sure I won’t last long either,” she reassured him. She rolled her hips, feeling his tip brush against her repeatedly. It wasn’t until Joel grasped his member to line himself up that she lowered herself down onto him.

The feeling was indescribable. Their eyes were locked onto one another as she continued to push herself down onto him until the hilt. His girth stretched her from the inside, making her insides tingle. Her walls tightened around him, causing Joel to groan aloud.

God, she felt amazing and Joel wanted more.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his hands moving to her hips to gently lift her up and down along his length. The speed was slow, intimate, and allowed her to feel every inch.

“Joel…” She moaned. Joel bit his lower lip, his fingertips digging into her hips. The way his name left her lips left him wanting to hear more of it so he snapped his hips upwards, causing her to gasp aloud. “Oh god…”

“You feel amazing,” he smiled, leaning up to press his lips against hers as he kept her hips in place. Joel began thrusting upwards, the sounds of their skin slapping against each other and their moans filtered her bedroom and both were nearing their climax.

“Joel… Oh god…” She pulled away from the kiss to press her hands onto his chest. She arched her back and moved her hips along him in a rhythmic motion. Joel remained still, watching her lustfully as her hips rolled against him, causing him to groan aloud. The way her hips moved against him expertly made him near his release.

“Darlin’... Baby, I’m close,” Joel whimpered. He held her in place, slowly rolling her onto her back as he slammed into her. As she laid back with her hair splayed against her sheets and her expression twisted into sheer pleasure, Joel felt accomplished.

“Joel!” She exclaimed, her walls tightening further around him as she reached her climax. Joel groaned, delivering a few harsh thrusts before he quickly pulled out to release along her inner thigh. God, it had been so long and already, he was yearning for more.

He leaned down to press a soft kiss onto her lips before he stood to walk to her bathroom, grabbing a towel to bring back to her. She reached out for the towel, but Joel shook his head and gently cleaned his release from her. She smiled to herself, looking up at him as she allowed her breathing to slow down.

“Good?” Joel asked, finally breaking the silence and lying back with her. He had pulled on his boxers and he pulled her into his arms, feeling her snuggle against him. Y/N embraced his warmth, her cheek resting against his skin as she peppered kisses along his chest.

“Amazing,” she replied. “We’re doing that again.”

Joel let out a breath of relief and leaned down to peck her lips. “So, we’re doing this…”

She nodded. “I would want nothing more.”

Joel smiled. “Me too, darlin’. Me too.”

---

Part 8.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged!): @kaitebugg03, @a-girl-interupted, @igotbasicdrag, @darkshadow6200, @fandomoniumflurry, @xhannahbananax03, @quinnverses, @xojdmasf

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller pre-apocalypse #joel miller au #the last of us crossover #twd x tlou #tlou x twd #story: one drunken night

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fvckuiloveu · 8 months ago

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god i love pathetic men

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dreamtofus · 9 months ago

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I just want to thank anyone and everyone who writes fanfic

like wdym this masterpiece is FREE

ps reblog ur fav fics.

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naughtyneganjdm · 25 days ago

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Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 12

Summary: A lot weighs heavy on Joel's mind making him unable to sleep. Roaming around the apartment, he talks to Y/N and they open up to one another with Negan overhearing their discussion. What Negan suggests to help both of them feel better surprises them.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC) & Negan Smith

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/156209020

Warnings: 18+, swearing, angst, smut, this chapter is pure filth, SPOILERS AHEAD DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED. MMF Threesome, two men kissing, heavy touching between two men, dirty talking, unprotected ps in v, etc.

Notes: This is a longer chapter. It's filthy. It explores parts of all three of the main characters. Literally. So yeah, enjoy!

Sleeping was once again damn near impossible for Joel. Making it back to the apartment, you would have thought he would have been exhausted. Physically? He was. Mentally? He couldn’t shut his brain the fuck down. All he kept thinking about was his past. The pain and negative thoughts. About his mistakes and all the things he had done wrong.

Earlier he checked in on the children and came downstairs to sit by the large glass panel windows. He didn’t know how long ago he had pulled up a chair and just sat there staring out at the city lights. Everything seemed so small down below. It made him think about his dreams when he was a kid. All he knew was that he was counting on either football or his musical career to lead him. Instead, life fell to shit.

Back when he was younger, this was the kind of life he dreamt of. Feeling special. Having a big home that only people could dream of having and being able to go anywhere he wanted in the world without worrying about money.

“Can’t sleep?” a voice beckoned him to look back over his shoulder. Standing behind him was Y/N who looked like she had just woken up. Her eyes appeared tired while she stood before him in her red plaid pajama pants and a white tank top. Shaking his head, Joel pushed his seat back and turned in it to stare out at her. “You stole my look.”

“Kind of,” Joel sighed looking down at what he was wearing. Instead of having red plaid, his pajamas were plaid green and he also had the white tank top on. “Did I wake you up?”

“Well you were being incredibly loud,” she joked, reaching for a chair to pull it up beside Joel. Keeping it close, she lowered down into the seat and yawned. “I woke up and I just couldn’t fall back asleep. No matter how much I tried.”

“I have that problem lately a lot too,” Joel explained, sitting forward in the chair to get closer to the glass to look down at the people below. By this time of night he could hardly make out anything down there. There was a faint glow from stray lights that illuminated the street, but just barely. “My brain just wants to torture me with all my thoughts.”

“You wanna talk about it?” she offered, her eyes staring out at him which he saw from the corner of his. Instead of looking at her, he lowered his head and exhaled loudly. “I’m always here if you need to talk. You know that.”

“It’s hard to talk to you,” Joel confessed, reaching up to stroke over the back of his neck. Half of his woes, if not more were all in relation to her and he didn’t think it was fair throwing that all on her again. “You know how I feel about you.”

“That’s what this is about?” she spoke softly, not showing any signs of being angry with him over it.

“Some of it,” he was honest, shaking his head about and leaning back in the chair to keep his eyes on the city. “For some reason, I keep thinking about everything I did wrong. What led us to…this.”

“This right here?” she threw her finger up to circle it as if suggesting the apartment they were in.

“No,” Joel smirked, shaking his head about. “I mean how the two of us are. With me alone. And you with Negan,” Joel lowered his voice not wanting to wake anyone else up to hear what they were talking about. “I had to work really hard to push you away like I did.”

“Joel…” she said his name, dragging it out. Stopping to think about what she wanted to say, she shifted in the seat and licked her lips. “I uh…I wish I knew what I could say to make you feel better. The last thing I want is you feeling miserable.”

“It’s not your responsibility to make me feel better,” Joel retorted with a weak smile, his dark eyes finally looking over at her. In the small amount of light, they could see each other but not much more than that. “It never was.”

A shuddering breath escaped her lips with Joel’s eyes tearing over and he shrugged, “I never realized everything you did to make sure that I was okay. Constantly. You were always there doing your best to make me happy. But that was never your job Y/N. You were supposed to be my partner in life. You weren’t supposed to lift me up. My emotions aren’t your responsibility. They never were.”

Hearing that from Joel left her speechless. That was never something Joel had ever said to her, so she didn’t know how to respond. Folding his arms in front of his chest, Joel stretched his legs out further and went back to looking at the city.

“Do you know how many times I dreamt of a life like this?” Joel spoke almost regrettably when he thought back on his past. “I wanted to be rich so bad. To have power. Have people look at me like I was something special. I would have killed for this kind of life.”

“I think everyone dreams of a life like this,” she mused, rubbing her hands in over her knees. “I know I thought about it too. I thought I was going to be a big name. Someone everyone knew the name of. I was going to travel and show what the world was really like. The good, the bad. I wanted to live in the city…”

A smile tugged at her tired features and she stood up from the chair to look out at the city, “I never dreamt of a place this big. But a flat in the city? God, that would have been amazing. Maybe having my studio workshop area inside of my apartment? That was it for me.”

“I really thought I was going to be something, y’know?” Joel snorted, shaking his head. Back when he was in high school he really did believe that he was going to make it big. It wasn’t even a question in his mind. He was that fucking sure of himself. “I was so arrogant. I thought I was better than most people. I was stubborn and I knew that if anyone could achieve something, it was me. I was gonna ride the football career as much as I could, use my connections to get me into the music business.”

“You were good enough,” she corrected Joel who rolled his eyes. Hearing him talk down about his talents was nothing something she was going to allow him to do. “You were.”

“I wasn’t,” Joel chuckled, his head shaking in disbelief. “Football maybe could have gotten me all the way through college. But I don’t think I could have made it to the big leagues. My arm was good, but it wasn’t that good.”

“Well now that’s just bullshit,” she claimed, reaching up to smack at Joel’s chest with the back of her hand. “I know for a fact that your arm was amazing. Think about all the scouts that came out just for you. They all wanted you. I think a lot of them told you that you probably didn’t even have to stay in school that long because you were that good.”

“You’d say anything to make me feel better,” Joel suggested with a long exhale. That was just the kind of person that she was.

“Why would I need to lie about things Joel?” she inquired, a sense of curiosity flooding her body. Sure, she could lie, but right now she was just going off of facts. When they were young, everyone thought Joel was going to be a big name. “What do I gain from lying to you right now?”

“You get to be on my good side?” Joel joked, a wicked smirk tugging at his features. Looking over at her, his right eyebrow arched and it made her smile. “Lord knows you don’t want to get on my bad side.”

“I’ve been there and I’m still here,” she reminded him, grabbing a firm hold of his shoulder to give it a squeeze.

“You shouldn’t have had to see that side of me,” Joel frowned, reaching up to place his hand in over hers. Squeezing it firmly, Joel took his time to think about everything he put her through. “I never wanted you to see the darkest parts of me. You were the light in my life that brought me joy. The fact that I ever let it get that bad…”

“It’s the past,” she interrupted him, not wanting to have him get upset, but it was really too late for that.

“But it effected the future,” Joel admitted, urging her to lower her hand. Pushing forward in the seat, Joel rest his elbows over his knees and shook his head. “I didn’t mean to have all this anger grow inside of me. I knew I was capable of being awful. It was there my whole life. And when my parents died…I did what I thought was right. I put Tommy first. And then when you got pregnant, I put you and Elizabeth first too. I did the right thing. There shouldn’t have been any anger inside of me for doing what was right.”

“I think it’s alright to be disappointed,” she tried to give him an excuse and Joel scoffed, standing up from the chair and moving in beside her to stand in front of the window. “I think anyone in your position would have felt the same.”

“No they wouldn’t,” Joel denied, his hands settling at his hips while he rocked back and forth on his feet. “I could have been facing this all alone. But I wasn’t. I had you. You never left my side. Not once. I had a family that loved me. I was lucky. Some people have this kind of shit happen and they have to take on the world alone. Without help. But not me. I had a support system. I had someone who loved me. Someone who saw the best in me even when I didn’t see the best in myself…”

It looked like she wanted to say something, but instead she just lowered her head making Joel’s chest hurt at the sight of it, “I’m sorry. You were always my strength and I let you down. I let everyone down.”

“No you didn’t,” she refused to hear that, turning to face Joel from where she was standing. “I think your parents would be very proud of the man that you became.”

“I was even mad at them for dying Y/N,” Joel informed her with a disgusted shake of his head. “I was so angry at them for dying and forcing me to live the life that I did. I mean, you’d think I’d be mad at them for all the shit before in being parents that were never very present in my life in the first place. But no. I was mad at them for leaving me to take care of everything without them.”

“It was a traumatic thing for an eighteen year old boy to go through,” she defended his actions once more and it had Joel shaking his head. “You had the world in your hands and it was taken from you.”

“No it wasn’t,” Joel corrected her, a broken breath falling from his lips when he looked to her. “I had the world in my hands with you, Ellie and Peter. I just never saw it because I thought the world was this big shiny idea of something more.”

Really he should have just shut up and kept his thoughts to himself. He knew that this kind of talk upset her. Especially since she loved him so much in the past and he did what he had.

“I’m sorry that I let you down,” Joel apologized, a lump growing in his throat. “I wish that right now I could say that I was proud of my life, the things that I’ve done, but I’m not. The only thing I have that I was ever proud of was you and those children. Other than that? I’m a nothing.”

“You shouldn’t be thinking like that,” she stressed doing her best to keep her emotions to herself. “You don’t have to keep apologizing to me.”

“Yes, I do,” Joel groaned, his head dropping down with the tension he was feeling. “It’s annoying because all these voices I hear in my head tell me what a mistake I made. I know nothing will fix what I’ve done. More than anything, I’m angry at myself for my actions. I wish I could say that I made your life better, but I’m an overall disappointment.”

“You’re not,” she assured him, lifting her hand to try to get him to hush his thoughts. “You can’t feed your mind with that shit.”

God, he wanted to say so much to her to fix things, but he knew that no matter what he said they never would be right. There was nothing he could do in order to make up for the decisions he made. Because he let all of the good fall to shit. That was his own fault.

“You deserved this kind of life Joel,” she expressed how she felt, throwing her hand out toward the city. “Both you and Negan were so dedicated to your skills. I wanted the best for both of you. I always did. You both were the two people who deserved this kind of future more than anyone.”

“We both deserved this kind of life,” Joel proposed brushing his fingers through his messy hair. “And we could have done it if I wasn’t such a fucking dick. Instead I was lazy, angry and so depressed about the life I couldn’t have. Maybe if I would have actually tried instead of being bitter about everything, I could have achieved things. Instead we’re here and I made you miserable for years by being…a dick.”

“You two talk like you’re at the end of your life,” a voice spoke up causing both of them to jump. Looking back, Joel reached out for the light that was beside him to turn it on. Behind them was Negan sitting on the couch with his arms stretched out on the back of it bringing attention to his naked chest. Standing up, Negan adjusted the waistband of his gray sweatpants and shrugged his shoulders. “Why do you think your dreams are impossible? You’re not dead.”

“It’s more complicated than that Negan,” Joel grunted wondering how long Negan had been sitting there. How the hell did they not hear him come into the room with the two of them talking? It offended him that Negan had just sat there listening to them to begin with.

“How?” Negan lowered down onto the arm of the couch and waved his hand about in the air. “You’re only nearing forty Joel. You haven’t even reach the middle of your life,” Negan stressed his words, his eyes looking between both Y/N and Joel. There was a seriousness behind the intensity of his hazel eyes. “There is still so much time to do so much more, but it’s like you’ve both given up at the idea of it.”

“No one wants an almost forty year old man to play football for them Negan. That’s an end of a career, not the start of one. Plus, I haven’t thrown a football in years,” Joel declared with a scoff having Negan smile and shake his head dramatically. Brushing his fingers through his messy hair, Negan exhaled loudly and tossed his hands up.

“Yeah, football is out of the question. That’s not what I mean,” Negan agreed with Joel, tapping on his thighs to consider what he wanted to say next. “But that doesn’t mean you have to give up your musical career. Start playing again. Play the guitar. Get out to a local bar. Sing. Get your music out there. Even if you start small, it’s you getting to live the life that you wanted. You can be ninety and still play music Joel. You’ve got your hands. You’ve got your voice. You have the musical talent. Life is what you fucking make of it. You’re not dead.”

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I have a hard time playing in front of people,” Joel reminded Negan of how he was which had Negan roll his eyes. “Not all of us are outgoing, charismatic folks that people are just drawn to.”

“I’m very introverted,” Negan corrected Joel with a shake of his head. “I just fake it. All the time. Do you think I always feel like smiling? I put on a show because it’s better than letting my thoughts, my emotions…my stress get to me. I’m a showman through and through, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel strange when the world is fucking eyeballing me.”

Both Joel and Y/N went silent at Negan’s confession. That was never really something that either one of them considered.

“Listening to the both of you is hard. You can play music until the day you die Joel Miller. And Y/N, you can take photos and write just the same. You both think that I’ve made this perfect life for myself,” Negan began, his hand placing in over the center of his naked chest. “I’m nearing forty and my career is over. I put everything into my body. My body is the only thing that I can use in my life. And I’m broken. My knee is a fucking mess. After this next season? I don’t know what direction my life is fucking going in and that scares me. That scares me so much. But both of you? You don’t see the potential that you have. Your dreams? They are all achievable. Talking like there are no other options in life is sad because I’ve never seen two people with so much fucking potential in their life and it’s like you both gave up.”

“Fuck,” Joel grumbled under his breath, his chest aching at the lecture that they both just received from Negan.

“Negan,” Y/N frowned noticing that Negan appeared to be somewhat emotional himself, but he was hiding it behind a strong façade.

“Hey, let’s not make this about me. I just wanted to make a point,” Negan slurred realizing that both of them had a hard time looking at him after what he reminded them. “Joel, I haven’t heard you play your music in a very long time, but after tonight? I know you still have music in your heart. It made you happy. I’m sure you still play great.”

“He’s right. There is nothing to be ashamed of in terms of your music. You’re good,” Y/N added to the conversation with Negan throwing his hand out toward her. “I know what you sound like and I think people would love to learn music from you and hear what you have inside of you.”

“What happened to Joel Miller, the arrogant son of a bitch that I knew when I was younger?” Negan snorted, folding his arms out in front of his chest. “That guy loved having the attention on him. Fuck, he ate it up. He knew he was talented and he didn’t have to question it.”

“Life,” Joel simply answered with a grunt which had Negan rolling his eyes. “I hate the world Negan.”

“You hate yourself,” Negan offered up, his eyes slowly rising up from the ground where he was looking. “I know the feeling all too well. So don’t try to bullshit me. If you love your music, if it means something to you, don’t let it go. Even if you start fucking small, the world isn’t over. You don’t know if you have tomorrow, so start now. Go out. Play your music. Give it a shot. Even if you only make it to small dive bars. Who cares? At least you sort of lived your dream. It’s better than nothing. And now it’s even better because you have a built in support system behind you to lift you up.”

“It’s not that easy,” Joel grunted, resting his hands on his hips in frustration.

“But it fucking is,” Negan shot back, the lines in his forehead growing. “And Y/N, you love taking photos. There isn’t a reason you shouldn’t have that camera in your hands twenty four fucking seven. Take photos. And write. Write about whatever the fuck you want because someone out there is going to want to listen. I promise you. You’re both still so young with so much fucking potential. You just don’t give yourselves a fucking break. And maybe it’s time that you do.”

Smirking, Y/N lowered her head finding what Negan was saying to be inspirational in a sense, but she knew that Joel was upset, “What are you? An inspirational speaker now?”

“Maybe,” Negan’s eyes locked back onto Joel, standing up and moving across the room to step before him. “If people listened to me, well maybe there is a chance that they just might be happy. And that’s a scary fucking thought. Isn’t it?”

“Life came easy to you Negan,” Joel fought back, his eyes narrowing at the idea that Negan thought things in life were that simple.

“It did?” Negan muttered, his jaw flexing in disbelief. “I must have missed that bit because life has been really fucking hard for the most part. I had an abusive father growing up that pretended to be a good dad. I…” Negan paused, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat and his words coming to a slow pause. Suddenly the emphasis he had on things died down when he looked between Joel and Y/N again. “I lost touch with my best friends. I got injured doing what I do best. I lost the love of my life and my career is ending because I’m hurt and I could become crippled if I get hurt again. I’m pushing it just going one more season. So does that really sound easy to you?”

Joel’s lips parted, a huff coming out instead of words with Joel lowering his head to look down at the ground in embarrassment with what Negan just threw out in front of Joel, “Where my life succeeded, yours did not. Vice versa. Which is why I say if you want something in life, you gotta go for it. We don’t know when our life is gonna fucking end. So take advantage of it before it’s too late. And work out whatever the hell is going on between the two of you.”

“There’s nothing…” Y/N went to speak up with Negan holding his finger up to silence them. Turning off the light, Negan reached for both of their wrists to tug them over toward the bedroom that he shared with Y/N. Closing the door, Negan turned on the lamp and headed over toward the seat at the corner of the room to drop down. “There is nothing going on between the two of us Negan.”

“She’s with you,” Joel stressed watching Negan reach out to snatch the Santa hat that was on the nightstand. Putting it on, Negan stretched out his long legs and shrugged.

“I know,” Negan nodded, stroking his fingers over the side of his face. “I am not worried about that.”

“Of course you aren’t,” Joel scoffed, shaking his head and heading over toward the dresser to rest his weight back against it. “Why would you be worried?”

“You’re cranky as fuck,” Negan chuckled, his dimples becoming more prominent when an amused smile tugged at his handsome features. “If it’s gonna make the two of you happy, kiss and make up. I don’t give a fuck.”

“We’re together,” Y/N turned on her heel, pointing from her chest to Negan. “I told Joel that. He knows that I want to be with you.”

“I know you do too,” Negan assured her with a nod, caressing down over the side of his neck. “I however told you that I understand that you love Joel. I fucking get it. I loved and still love Lucille. That shit is never gonna change. We can’t help that in life sometimes we love multiple people. And just because we lost them doesn’t mean we don’t care about them. I won’t get mad at you for having feelings for Joel and if the two of you are gonna kiss, I’d really prefer to be around for it.”

“Now you’re just being a prick,” Joel hissed at Negan, his brow line growing more tense and his glare becoming angry. “It’s not funny.”

“Do I look…” Negan paused realizing that he was smiling, “Yes. I’m smiling, but I’m not trying to be funny here. I know that you heard the conversation earlier about her dream and if she wants to, I’m okay with the three of us…you know.”

“Oh fuck. Not again,” Y/N lifted her hand to cover her eyes trying to shake off the feeling she was having. “I’m dreaming again. That makes complete sense here.”

“Nope. Not dreaming,” Negan stood up from the chair he was seated in. Standing between Y/N and Joel, Negan outstretched his hands grabbing both their wrists to pull them closer toward him. “I just think it’s okay for you two to enjoy each other still even if you’re not together. Your brain wanted this. So who am I to turn away this for you?”

“I think maybe you are reading the situation wrong,” she was unsure of where this was headed with Negan’s nose wrinkling in amusement. “I told you about the dream because I don’t want to keep things from you.”

“And I don’t want to keep things from you either,” Negan promised bringing Joel in closer to her. How firmly Negan was holding onto Joel’s wrist had Joel scoffing. “I’m okay with a threesome. If it makes you happy, why not?”

“Aren’t you going to ask if I’m okay with a threesome?” Joel spoke up in a bit of a disapproving tone making Negan chuckle when he looked between the two of them. “Why is that funny?”

“Nothing, you’re just right. You’re the curve ball here. I understand that she has feelings for you. It doesn’t bother me because I know she cares about me too. Deep in her mind, she wants both of us but feels guilty for wanting that,” Negan explained, letting go of her wrist to palm in over the side of her face to get her to look at him. “You have been with Joel and you’ve been with me. You’ve never had a threesome. What’s better than being pampered by two men that are head over heels in love with you?”

Stammering to find words, Y/N didn’t know what to say. Maybe she should have been mad, but instead she found herself laughing when the top of the Santa hat fell over Negan’s eyes. Blowing it out of his face, Negan gave a big cheesy smile and then dragged his tongue out over his bottom lip.

“As long as Joel promises not to fucking kill me when it’s my turn, I think we’re good,” Negan asserted lowering his hand to gently urge Y/N forward toward Joel. “I don’t have a problem with all of this. Joel is the only person I would be okay with.”

“I don’t get your fucking issue Ne…” Joel’s words came to a halt with the pressure of Negan leading Joel down to Y/N to force the two of them to kiss. A gasp vibrated against his lips and Joel pulled back seeing Negan smirking. Shaking his head, Negan’s thumb swept in over her jaw with his fingers curling around her neck to turn her to him. Claiming her lips in a passionate kiss, Negan started to kiss her over and over again. Watching her eyes close with a slow flutter, Joel felt a bout of jealousy flooding his veins. Starting to kiss at her jawline, Joel pressed his body in closer to hers, his hands settling at her hips.

“Holy shit,” Y/N pulled away from the both of them feeling her pulse hammering in her head. “This is just like my dream. The children are upstairs for fuck’s sake.”

“Then we’ll be quiet,” Negan headed over toward the door to lock it for her. “It’s a big apartment. They are all the way across the apartment on the second floor. We’ll hear someone if they come down here.”

“They both had the television on,” Joel explained to Y/N who was surprised to hear Joel defending this. “They aren’t going to hear anything.”

“Thatta boy,” Negan pat Joel on the shoulders and then headed over toward the bed to drop down on the bottom of it. Pulling himself to the edge, Negan braced his weight on his hands and motioned for the two of them to move toward one another. “I like watching. So go ahead.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” Y/N whispered which had an ache growing at the center of Joel’s chest. That was something she was genuinely worried about and she meant it.

“You’re not going to,” Negan promised her, holding out his hand to have her squeeze at it. “I’m here. No matter what happens. I’m not leaving your life. You have me back in your life and that’s not going to change.”

“Are you going to look at me differently?” Y/N turned her head to look at Joel who thought about this whole thing. Being with her in any fashion was good enough for him. It meant that she still cared about him. Still wanted him in her life.

“I could never,” Joel grumbled under his breath knowing that he was going to have to fight his demons here. Especially when she was with Negan. There was a jealousy there, but in this moment he was going to have to figure it out. Get his shit together. There was a lot to consider in the moment. But his first thought was this whole threesome thing. The windows were wide open with no blinds or curtains to hide them. “Do you really want the lights on for this?”

“Fuck yes,” Negan stated with a proud breath. “I want to see everything.”

“You’re in New York City. People know you’re here now. They have to. Photographers with their cameras,” Joel started to ramble having Negan bob his head about. Huffing out, Negan got up from the bed and headed over to the large window side of the room. Pushing his hands into his pants, Negan got the material down to the bottom of his hips along with his boxer briefs. All Joel saw was Negan’s ass, but it was enough for Negan to make a point. Throwing his hands up in the air, Negan wiggled his hips a bit and it had Joel groaning outwardly. “You are still so very much Negan.”

“Yes, I fucking am,” Negan boasted proudly, pulling his pants back up over his hips and turning to face the two of them. Y/N’s face was flushed over with her shaking her head and Joel was staring out at him blankly. “I’m a baseball player. And we are pretty fucking high up. If someone has a lens that fucking good, then good for them. But in the city, there are bigger, better celebrities to go after. No one is going to be taking photos of us at two in the morning having sex. I fucking promise you.”

“How is your dick not all over the internet?” Joel scoffed, pointing down toward Negan’s groin.

“Well, I was married,” Negan reminded Joel, tossing his hand up in the air with a huff. “Pretty sure that Lucille didn’t want a video of us screwing all over the internet. And like I told you, I’m just a fucking baseball player. You want to see their cocks, you walk into the locker room after or before a game. It’s not that hard. You know that. You were on a sports team in high school. You saw a lotta cock.”

“Good God, we are so different,” Joel pointed out to Y/N who now seemed to have amusement with the things that Negan was saying. “How you love the both of us…”

“Is crazy because she’s too good for the both of us, but she does,” Negan interrupted Joel, stepping closer to the both of them. “So why don’t we take advantage of it, enjoy tonight and let this happen? I want this. You both want this. And that’s okay.”

Stepping in behind Y/N, Negan settled his hands at her hips. Nuzzling his nose in against the side of her neck had her tipping her head back against his shoulder. Just the sensation of that alone had her pulse jumping in her throat. Peppering wet kisses over her flesh, Negan bit faintly eliciting a moan from her lips.

Lifting his left hand, Negan reached for Joel tugging him forward by the material of his tank top. Stepping in closer, Joel trapped Y/N between both him and Negan having her breath catch in her throat. The heat from their bodies radiated against hers. It felt good. It had her body trembling. She felt small between the two of them.

Sweeping his fingers in over the side of her face, Joel’s eyelids grew heavy. An innocence lingered in her eyes and features. Reminding Joel of when they were younger and they were together for the first time. Lowering down, Joel brought their lips together in a slow, gentle kiss. This was a lot to get used to all at once. With each caress of his lips, the kiss grew stronger with her breathing getting louder.

“That’s it,” Negan slurred against her flesh, grasping her chin firmly between his fingers to get her to turn her head so it brought their lips together. Even though he was okay with sharing, Negan wanted to make it clear that’s what they were going to be doing. Joel could get some of the attention, but not all of it. Focusing on her bottom lip with wet kisses, Negan used his other palm to caress up in over her abdomen toward her breast. A tremoring exhale had him sucking in a sharp breath of air getting excited at how innocent she seemed in all of this. “If you ever get uncomfortable, just tell us and we will stop.”

Nodding gave both Joel and Negan the permission they needed to continue. Even if things felt fast, she knew that she would never ask them to stop. This was something her mind had been thinking about even in her dreams. An occasion where she could be between the two men that she loved without judgement? It felt too good to turn away.

Dropping her left hand back, she palmed in over the side of Negan’s body while her right traced up over the lengths of Joel’s abdomen toward his chest. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, Joel couldn’t help but notice the desire in Negan’s eyes for the woman that was between them. Reaching his hands around Y/N, Joel squeezed firmly over her bottom. It had her pressing up onto her toes, gasping and falling in closer against his chest. It gave Negan the opportunity to move in behind her, pressing his groin in over her bottom. It had her eyes closing tightly, her lips falling agape. It felt like liquid lava was running through her veins with the room spinning around. Hovering his lips in over hers, Joel loved the way her breathing grew louder with her shaking against him. Pressing faint kisses at her lips, Joel allowed his mouth to trail down over her jawline toward her neck. When he reached her shoulder, Joel lifted his head and locked eyes with Negan.

“You know what?” Negan took one step back, his chest rising and falling heavily. It had Y/N looking back over her shoulder at him, worried what was happening. “Go on. I really would like to watch.”

Trying to avoid the instructions that were being spat at him, Joel curled his arm around Y/N’s waist to pull her flush against him. It had her right arm hooking around his shoulders while her fingers from her left hand sank into his thick, dark hair. Just the way she was looking at him with her pupils dilated drove Joel crazy with want for the woman in his arms.

“Touch her Joel,” Negan spoke moving to grab Joel’s wrist helping him to caress up and over the length of her back before down again. Just from that alone it had her eyes closing tightly once more. “Let’s make this thing as sensual as possible. Not just fucking. We could fuck any time. But this? It means something.”

Bringing their lips together in a slow, unhurried kiss had her clinging tighter to Joel. Stroking his fingers down over the lengths of her back again and then allowing them to drag back up over her shoulders had her whimpering against his mouth. Each kiss he pressed over her lips grew stronger, the passion lighting a fiery want inside the both of them. Beside them, Negan stepped forward his hand pressing in against both of the small of their backs bringing their bodies closer together. Growling against Y/N’s flesh triggered her to pull away just slightly to give a tiny smile. Instead of bitching, Joel listened to Negan. Touching her in the ways that he was instructing him. Wanting this whole thing to indeed be special for Y/N. Stealing kiss after kiss from her had her lips parting to Joel. Brushing his tongue out against hers led her to tip up on her toes, eager to be closer to him. Even though they had been together many times, Joel still loved the way that her body reacted to his.

Stepping in behind Y/N again, Negan’s fingers hooked loosely into the bottom of her tank top having her lean back into him. Tugging up the material, Negan stopped at her lower abdomen, using one of his hands to caress his rough fingertips across it. Nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck, Negan nipped faintly at her skin getting tiny whines to fall from her, “You are so fucking beautiful.”

Y/N’s eyes fluttered to a close. Her breaths becoming more desperate which encouraged Joel to help Negan lift the material up under her breasts. Carefully lowering to his knees, Joel’s mouth covered her lower abdomen. Starting at the area just above her belly button. A sharp exhale escaped her throat when Joel tenderly nipped at her flesh. Trailing his kisses down further led to him pampering her skin at the area right below her navel. Grasping tightly to her hips kept her in place. With Negan’s arm hooked around her mid abdomen and Joel grasping to her hips, she wasn’t going anywhere. They had her where they wanted her. Shivers flooded her body, muted moans following with the way Joel was cherishing her abdomen with the warmth of his kisses and with Negan kissing at the side of her neck. Pushing his hand up enough under her tank top, Negan’s fingers cupped at the swell of her breast.

“Here we go,” Negan stammered, urging her arms up so he could pull the material of her tank top from her body to reveal her breasts with a bounce. Joel’s dark eyes watched the movements, the length of his tongue dragging a line up her body. Tossing the material aside, Negan’s arm wrapped around her upper half pulling her back to him. Dragging his hand across both her breasts, Negan buried his nose against the side of her neck again and growled. “You feel good, right?”

Squeezing her breast in his palm, Negan tested the flesh before circling the pad of his thumb in over her nipple. Repeated circular movements had it turning into a tight bud and it made him release an amused rumble as he pinched softly at it.

“So good,” she purred with Negan now kissing at her jawline. Continuing to caress at her breasts elicited her breathing to become broken.

Humming, Negan started to kiss at the side of her neck and back behind her ear. Joel’s kisses started to rise up over the lengths of her abdomen, his facial hair scratching slightly at her body. Wet caresses of Joel’s mouth pressed between the valley of her breasts. It was hard to focus on one thing from either Joel or Negan. Between them, Y/N felt like the world was spinning around her. Matching Joel’s movements, when Joel came up, Negan’s palm pressed down over her abdomen. Sinking his hand beneath the material of her pajama pants had her hips arching up toward Negan’s touch. Crying out, her breathing became labored with the flick of Joel’s tongue at her nipple in tiny, circular motions. Taking the nipple into his mouth, Joel’s suckled faintly at the flesh before teasing it again with his tongue. Instinctively her body arched forward, her hips wanting to meet the touch of Negan’s hand between her thighs and her upper half wanting to continue to be pampered by Joel.

“Let’s get you down on the bed darlin’,” Negan stammered pulling his hand from her pants having her shuddering back against him. A wet sound escaped Joel’s lips with him tipping his head back, pulling his mouth from her breast. The warmth of his breath still lingered over her skin and she knew that she was already a hot mess from this alone.

Helping to lead her over toward the bed, Negan grabbed a hold of her hand squeezing his fingers around hers. Getting her to the bottom of the bed had the backs of her knees hitting the mattress getting her to lower down with Negan standing before her. Helping to lower her body back against the bed, Negan hooked his arms firmly underneath her knees. Pulling her right to the edge of the bed had her gasping, her eyes locking with his. There was something in the way that he was looking at her that caused her heart to pound inside of her chest. Hooking his fingers into the waistband of her panties and pajama pants, Negan unhurriedly pulled them down her legs. Lifting her hips to help him made Negan smirk, his dimples becoming more prominent when he dropped the material aside. His eyes were drinking her in, while he stood at the bottom of the bed looking over her naked form. Stepping away from the bed, Negan adjusted his gray sweat pants causing her eyes to lower to gaze upon the incredible v line over Negan’s hips. His pants were hanging low, his breathing heavy emphasizing the lines of his body. Just the sight of that alone had her mouth watering.

“Waiting on you Joel,” Negan wiggled his finger, motioning Joel to follow him toward the bed. Laying down beside her on the right, Negan made sure that she was comfortable when his fingertips swept in over the area right below her belly button. Hovering his mouth over hers, Negan snickered when her fingers slid in over the back of his neck and sank into his messy hair. “You are in for a hell of a night.”

Putting one knee on the bed, Joel caught Negan’s attention when Negan stole a kiss from Y/N’s lips. Negan’s hazel eyes watched Joel’s movements as Joel lowered himself down at the left side of Y/N’s body. Drawing circles with his rough fingertips over Y/N’s body, Negan nibbled at her bottom lip. Sucking faintly at the flesh had her whimpering into his mouth.

Bracing himself, Negan leaned in over her body starting to trail kisses from her shoulder toward the center of her chest. Joining Negan, Joel’s palm settled at the inside of her thigh dragging up toward her warmth. Her senses were set ablaze between the both of them. Joel’s brown eyes were hooked on hers drinking her in as she laid between the two of them. Tipping her head back, a quiet moan escaped her parted lips with Negan’s mouth covering her breast. Twisting his tongue around the nipple resulted in her lifting her upper back toward him. Suckling and nipping at the flesh prompted her breath to go broken now with Joel’s hand caressing in over her core.

“Look at me,” Joel ordered in a quiet slur, his eyelids growing heavy with longing. “Do you like being spoiled like this?”

“Yes,” she panted, licking her lips when Joel’s lips claimed hers, kissing her with a hunger that took her breath away. The wet popping sound of Negan’s mouth leaving her breast had her whining, but it was short lasted when he kissed across her chest to the other one to cover her breast with continued heated kisses.

Right now? All Joel could focus on was pleasing her because if he thought deeply about this, there was a chance that he wouldn’t be able to do this.

Circling her clit with his rough fingertips, Joel was slow wanting to build up the pleasure. By the way that she was kissing him, Joel knew that Y/N was doing her best to stay quiet. The sounds she was making and the way she was clinging to him fueled Joel more than he ever expected it to. Putting a stronger pressure over her sensitive bundle of nerves had her hips arching up toward Joel’s caress wanting to meet his touch.

“Good girl,” Negan slurred, his mouth sliding up over the side of her neck to kiss at her jawline. Biting faintly at her chin, Negan got her to turn toward him to bring their lips together in a passionate sweep. Brushing his tongue against hers, Negan felt the bed dipping with Joel adjusting his positioning.

An involuntary whine followed with the loss of contact from Joel’s fingers. Getting on his knees at the bottom of the bed, Joel pushed apart her legs settling himself between her thighs. Squeezing at the fleshy part of her thighs had her tremoring at his touch. As his breath lingered over her sensitive folds, it had her arching up toward him drawing out a hum of approval from Joel’s throat.

“You have always had the prettiest pussy,” Joel whispered, allowing his fingertips to draw a line over the length of her sex. Negan’s large palm was caressing at the swell of her breast, his kisses covering the side of her neck. Lifting her head, she was trying to focus, but her eyelids were growing heavy with the overflow of sensations both of them were causing inside of her. Right now she was a trembling mess beneath the both of them. Licking his lips, Joel’s kisses started at her inner thigh while his finger traced a line down over her sex and back up. Circling her clit and then lowering down again. Purring out, her fingers sank into Negan’s hair at the back of his neck with is mouth taking her breast into it again. Leaving tiny bites at her skin, Joel wet his lips and tipped his head back. Shuffling his body, Joel bent forward dragging the length of his tongue across her entrance.

“Joel,” she cried out, her hips bouncing upward toward the warmth of his mouth. Grasping her face between his thumb and index finger, Negan forced her eyes to meet his and it made him smile. Every muscle in her body was tensing up with the slurping sounds of Joel suckling at her folds. Squirming beneath them, she knew that her natural instinct was to focus on Joel, but Negan wanted to see her reaction to what was happening. Dragging his thumb across her bottom lip elicited a wolfish smile over Negan’s lips.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Negan growled, lowering down enough to hungrily kiss her. His tongue caressing at hers again and again, showing his dominance in the way that he kissed her.

Gazing up, Joel swallowed down hard at the sight of them kissing. There was so much passion and chemistry between the two of them with the way that they kissed. It had jealousy eating away at him with how visible close they clearly were. Pulling away slowly, Negan suckled faintly at her bottom lip, his eyes slowly lowering to hook with Joel’s.

“Get to it pretty boy,” Negan outstretched his hand, curling his finger underneath Joel’s chin. Getting Joel to tip his head back had Joel sucking in a sharp breath of air. “Y’know what? Nah. Let’s build up the longing. You gave her a taste. Make her beg for it. I think there needs to be a build up. Don’t you?”

Muttering something under his breath, Negan pushed himself up on the bed and got off it moving over toward the chair to sit down in it. Staring out at the two of them, Negan took notice of the way Y/N was breathing and she looked desperate to have him back.

“Why don’t the two of you kiss for a while?” Negan suggested, adjusting the Santa hat that he was wearing, palming across the length of his chest. “Then show her what you can do with that mouth Mr. Miller.”

“Negan,” she spoke his name, wiggling her fingers out in hopes to bring him back but before she could Joel was crawling in over her covering her with his weight. It surprised her with him lowering between her thighs listening to Negan’s suggestion. Joel’s arm curled around her waist pulling her in closer to him and it had her gasping out. Stroking her fingers down over the side of his face, she saw that his eyelids were heavy and his pupils were dilated. “You’re okay with this?”

“Yeah,” Joel whispered teasing his lips over hers just barely. It had her eyes fluttering to a close and it made Joel smile. Bringing their lips together, Joel never truly thought they would be able to be close like this again when she turned him down after he admitted his love to her at the school. Negan was right, they were both uncomfortable and needed to loosen up before they could truly be relaxed enough to do something like this. “You want this?”

“I think so,” she nibbled at Joel’s bottom lip, sinking her fingers into Joel’s messy hair getting him to look at her. Was there absolute certainty in her mind that she wanted this? Not exactly, but her mind had dreamt about it so it must have been something that she wanted. “I love both of you.”

With a nod, Joel stole another kiss from her with his fingers sliding down over the side of her neck to caress at her flesh. Trailing her kisses off over his jaw, Joel lifted his head allowing her room to kiss down over his neck. No one knew his body quite like she did. Every kiss was meticulous causing a chill to flood throughout his veins. In the distance, Joel caught the expression that was over Negan’s face while he watched the two of them. There was a lump growing in his throat at the idea of being watched. Why did he like it?

Taking his attention from Negan, Y/N pulled Joel back into a kiss that was nervous. It was delicate, slow. Allowing her to control the kiss at first, Joel knew that it was his job to make her realize that he was okay with this. That she could be comfortable with him here. Deepening the kiss, the caress of Joel’s lips grew more fervent. Hungrier. His hands caressed down over the sides of her body with him trapping her beneath his weight.

“I love you,” Joel whispered against her lips, hovering them just over hers. A shuddering exhale escaped her lips leaving Joel’s head buzzing with the feelings that he was experiencing. “So much.”

Movement was heard and Joel felt the warmth of a hand pressing in over his shoulder, “On your knees.”

Shakily doing as he was told, Joel was careful in the way he got up to his knees over Y/N. Even though he was tense, having Y/N’s eyes on him like she did took his breath away. There was something hypnotic about the way she was breathing while she was beneath him fully naked. The warmth of Negan’s body pressed in behind him. Biting down on his bottom lip, Joel felt Negan tugging at the bottom of Joel’s tank top.

“You’re the one wearing the most,” Negan pointed out, the warmth of his breath lingering over the side of Joel’s neck.

Cussing out, a breath caught in Joel’s throat when the bed dipped. Y/N was pressing up on her hands with Negan unhurriedly pulling the material up his abdomen. Sloppy kisses were being pressed over the flesh that was slowly being revealed to her. Palming in over the back of her head, Joel’s eyes came to a tight close. The warmth of Negan’s breath was at the side of his neck. Between the sensation of that and the way that Y/N was kissing at his flesh, it had Joel shuddering between them.

“Good boy,” Negan rasped, his nose nuzzling in against Joel’s jawline having Joel suck in a sharp breath of air. Reaching Joel’s arms, Negan tugged at the material. “Lift your arms.”

Lazily, Joel did what he was told and let Negan get his shirt from him and toss it onto the floor. Grunting, Negan’s fingers grabbed a tight hold of Joel’s jaw causing him to fall back against Negan’s chest. Doting kisses were still being pressed over his abdomen from Y/N who was now leaving small nibbles at his flesh.

“It doesn’t hurt to listen sometimes, does it?” Negan growled, his large palm sliding across the length of Joel’s chest. A chill flooded down Joel’s spine with the sensation of Negan caressing over his body and down over his abdomen. There was a rush flooding his veins when he felt Negan palm across his chest once more, having his heart skip a beat. “The benefits could be good if you give some orders a chance.”

Confusion flooded his veins with Negan moving away from him realizing that what Negan had done left goosebumps over his arms. Focusing elsewhere, Joel brought his eyes back to Y/N who was tugging at the knot in his pajama pants.

“On your knees sweetheart,” Negan gave her the same order, getting behind her on the bed once again trapping her between the two of them. Caressing his hands up over her sides had her resting her head back against Negan’s shoulder. Voraciously kissing over the side of her neck had Y/N reaching her fingers up to tug at Negan’s hair knocking the Santa hat from his head. “I want the both of you to enjoy this.”

Grasping her jaw in his fingers, Joel brought her lips to his just enough to affectionately kiss her. Flattening his palm out between the valley of her breasts, Joel teased her with his rough fingertips. Surrounding her breast with his palm, Joel tested the flesh in his grasp. A muted cry fell from her lips and it had Negan smiling, his eyelids heavy with want.

“Feel good?” Negan confirmed, his hand curling around the front of her body and sliding between her thighs. Palming in over her mound, Negan was gentle in the way he caressed at her flesh. It had her hips bouncing forward toward his touch. There was already a warmth pooling at her body from what the men had worked her up to earlier.

“Yes,” she panted with Negan’s other hand urging her to turn her head to him enough so he could kiss her. With parted lips, she eagerly allowed the warmth of Negan’s tongue to sweep against hers. Returning the gesture, she sucked faintly at Negan’s tongue eliciting a moan from him.

Starting to kiss down over her shoulder, Joel’s lips covered her breast again. Nibbling, suckling and teasing the flesh with sweeps of his tongue. Negan’s fingers connecting with Y/N’s sensitive bundle of nerves had her purring out in pure ecstasy. The sound that came from her throat drew heat right to Joel’s cock and he groaned against her flesh having her bounce forward toward him.

“You like being pampered, don’t you?” Negan mused, the circular motions of his fingers over her clit growing in strength. Nipping at her jaw had her whimpering out. The warmth of Joel’s hands caressing down over her hips followed, sliding lazily around to her bottom to squeeze the flesh in his grasp. Desperately meeting Joel’s mouth in a wet kiss, she moaned into his mouth in attempts to keep herself quiet. Dragging his lips over her jawline, Negan hummed and smiled. “That’s it.”

With a shuddering breath, Y/N pulled her mouth from Joel’s to drop her forehead against Joel’s shoulder. Dropping his hand down, Negan squeezed at the fleshy part of her thigh while his caress continued over her most intimate parts.

“Closer,” Negan mouthed, his hazel eyes locking with Joel’s. Tipping his head to the side, Joel wondered just how much closer they could all get. Rolling his eyes, Negan lifted his hand that wasn’t between her thighs. Hooking his arm around Joel, Negan got him to move closer having Joel’s naked chest pressed up against hers. Kissing over her earlobe, Negan nipped at the flesh and growled. “Touch him.”

Huffing out, Joel felt the firm smack of Negan’s hand over his ass before Negan’s hand returned to her thigh to squeeze at it. Truthfully? Joel didn’t know how to respond to that, but there wasn’t enough time for him to. Nudging her thighs further apart with his knee, Negan had her gasping out. Shakily bracing her hands over Joel’s abdomen, she listened to Negan palming in over Joel’s chest. Tipping down she kissed at the center of it having Joel tip his head back. There was a fire flooding Joel’s veins with his heart hammering in his chest. Lifting his fingers to his lips, Negan took his own fingers into his mouth. That allowed Joel to take advantage, dropping his hand between her thighs to discover that she was soaked.

“You really do want this, don’t you?” Joel’s voice was deeper, his finger circling her entrance before sinking into her with a wet sound. Unhurried thrusts of his thick digit followed having her biting at his flesh. Inserting another finger, Joel took his time thrusting them inside of her. The slight stretch had her tremoring between them. “You’re so fucking wet.”

“Look at you,” Negan’s hand grasped firmly to her jaw, pulling her back against him. Hissing out, she yearned for the touch of Negan’s lips over hers. Claiming her as his while Joel’s mouth was at the side of her neck. Rewarding her with a kiss, Negan sucked tenderly at her tongue pulling away just enough to tease her. “You’re shaking.”

Pressing forward, Negan bucked his hips against her bottom causing her to whine, “You feel that?”

“Yes,” she panted, doing her best to not buckle over in pleasure with what she was feeling. Dropping her hand back behind her, she palmed over the front of Negan’s sweatpants having him moan in her ear. Unhurriedly Negan bucked his hips up against her palm allowing her to stroke over his body through the material to the best of her ability. “Please…”

“What do you want?” Negan snickered, reaching for Joel to pull him forward so he could kiss Y/N to a sweet surrender. Using her other hand, Y/N reached between them to palm over Joel’s groin getting him to grunt against her lips. The vibration of it against her flesh felt incredible. It was hard to keep herself from being loud since she knew the situation that they were in. Deep plunges of Joel’s fingers inside of her had her rocking her hips against the movements wanting to feel more of what he was doing. “See, it’s okay to listen to your dreams sometimes.”

Joel had gone back to kiss her and Negan’s kisses were pressing over her jawline getting closer to her lips. The warmth of Negan’s mouth near his had Joel backing slightly, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when Y/N started to kiss Negan. Boldly leaning forward Joel greedily stole her back for another kiss which had Negan snickering as Negan kissed at the corner of her mouth. Negan’s tongue brushed out against her flesh causing her to whimper. Whether they were meaning to or not, all of their mouths collided in the kiss that they were sharing. Maybe Joel should have pulled back, but it didn’t feel wrong. Their kisses grew in strength, sharing Y/N and their lips colliding on occasion. Their breathing matched, broken and loud.

“Fuck,” Joel groaned. His forehead falling forward against Negan’s when her fingers curled around Joel’s girthy shaft through the material of his thin pajama pants. Instinctively her lips kissed over Joel’s jawline and he felt his heart jumping in his chest with how close he was to Negan in the moment of his vulnerability. Closing his eyes, Joel moaned when Negan dropped his head down, nudging his nose slightly against the other side of Joel’s neck. Wincing, Negan’s lips kissing over the side of Joel’s neck had a rush flooding through Joel’s veins. There was a vast difference between the two. Negan’s short beard scratched at his flesh while they both seemed to have their way with Joel. Quickening the motions of his fingers inside of Y/N had her falling in against his chest and Joel moaned again when he felt the walls of her tight canal clenching around his fingers.

“That’s it,” Negan knew by the sounds she was making that she was about to come. Joining Joel, Negan’s fingers circled her clitoris until she was a shaking mess between the both of them with the two working together to bring her to her first orgasm. “Good girl.”

Licking his lips, Joel didn’t know how to feel about what was happening. When he thought he was having a threesome with Y/N he didn’t think him nor Negan would be getting anywhere near one another but they might as well have kissed several times with how they were both kissing Y/N. Plus, there was that moment Negan kissed his neck. The bad thing is that Joel didn’t hate it, but his brain kept telling him that he should have.

“Get on your hands and knees at the center of the bed sweetheart,” Negan playfully smacked her ass having her whimper. Tremors still filled her body and Negan helped adjust her the way he wanted with her head at the bottom of the bed near Joel. Grabbing the Santa hat that was on the bed, Negan put it back on, adjusting it quickly before moving in behind Y/N. Caressing over her hips, Negan smirked and bobbed his head arrogantly.

“Are you going to wear that stupid hat still?” Joel stammered, caressing over Y/N’s shoulders when she went back to kissing over his lower abdomen.

“Fuck yeah I am,” Negan snickered, his chest rising and falling with his breathing growing heavier. “I’m fucking Santa Claus tonight and I’m delivering presents. So why the fuck not?”

Rolling his eyes, Joel cleared his throat when Negan palmed in over the front of his gray sweatpants drawing attention to the tent in them, “And now, I’m gonna give myself a gift and eat out this beautiful pussy.”

Excitement flooded her body when Negan got comfortable behind her squeezing and caressing at her fleshy bottom. Groaning out, Joel’s head dropped back when she started stroking at his erection through the material of his pajama pants again. Dropping his head, Joel swept his hand in over her face to keep the hair out of her eyes with her fingers hooking into the waistband of Joel’s pants. Taking them down with his boxers had the material pooling at Joel’s ankles.

Groaning out, Joel’s cock bounced in her face with her fingers swiftly curling around his girthy cock. Strokes of her hand over his flesh, teased the skin back and forth over his sensitive tip. Joel’s brow line creased when she pulled the flesh back so she could take him between her wet lips. Rolling his eyes back, Joel hissed out and licked his lips.

The damp heat around his rigid length felt amazing with her dedicated strokes of her tongue over the ridges of the tip, “Fuck…”

With a smirk, Negan pressed forward to start kissing at the back of Y/N’s thighs. Adjusting her legs, Negan pushed at her cheeks so he could get a better look at her tight hole. Dragging his tongue along the length of her sex had her crying out which had Joel’s hands tremoring while he stroked his fingers at her scalp.

Moaning against her flesh had her whimpering again and that’s when Negan started lapping at her body. His tongue prodding and flicking at her entrance, his fingers connecting with her clitoris to tease over her already sensitive clit. Doing her best to stay steady on her hand that was bracing her weight, Y/N continued to give Joel a blowjob finding it hard to focus with the way that Negan was pleasuring her.

Slurping, wet sounds came from both her and Negan while they pleasured the person before them. Wincing out, Joel sank his fingers tighter into her hair with her pulling her mouth away when Negan started plunging his fingers into her. Pumping them into her, Negan licked his wet lips and cussed out.

“You have the prettiest pussy,” Negan complimented her with a hum, dropping forward to flick his tongue against her hole again. His eyes closing tightly to focus on the sounds she was making when he did it. Feasting on her body had her rocking back against his movements with her hand still caressing over Joel’s saliva covered cock. “Fuck…”

“My turn,” Joel suggested stepping away from Y/N. Leaning back on his knees, Negan wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. Giving a single nod, Negan got up from the bed. Laying down on the bed, Joel urged her to crawl in over his shoulders with her hands balancing herself on the bed. Hooking his arms around her thighs brought her down closer to him so he could suckle at her clit eliciting another cry from her. Hooking his arms in place made sure that she couldn’t move much while he had his way with her.

Varying between using his tongue and his mouth, Joel hungrily pleasured her finding himself fueled with the way that she was trying so hard to be quiet, but she wasn’t doing a very good job with it. Her thighs were tremoring in his grasp, her hips rocking against his movements. Having both Joel and Negan worshiping her body like this was not something she was expecting. It had her on cloud nine, her body hot and shaking.

“You’re so fucking pretty,” Negan grasped her jaw between his thumb and index finger. Tipping her head back, he gave her a big wolfish smile. Leaning down, Negan captured her lips in another kiss that took her breath away with each caress of his lips over hers. Sweeping his thumb across her wet bottom lip when their kiss broke apart had Negan snickering. Dragging his fingers down over the side of her neck, he reached down to pinch at her hard nipple inducing a whine from her. Using his free hand, Negan pushed at the front of his sweatpants and black boxer briefs. Lazily pulling at the material had his cock springing free from the restrictive material when he just got the material right below the base of his cock. Firmly curling his fingers around his lengthy cock, Negan stepped before her with her wetting her lips at the sight of it. “Come here beautiful.”

Allowing Negan to bring her closer to him, she happily accepted him into her mouth with him cautiously thrusting his hips back and forth to sink his body into her throat. Taking his time to make sure that she was comfortable with the motions. Having Joel’s head buried between her thighs and Negan’s cock in her mouth was nothing she ever expected to have, but she liked it. And it fueled her to both pleasure Negan and rock her hips against Joel’s mouth. A raspy moan escaped Negan’s throat, with him caressing over her back. Squeezing at Negan’s hips, she pulled his pants and boxer briefs just under his ass. Cupping his testicles tenderly, she slurped and lapped at his body with her tongue having his hisses growing more frequent.

Cussing out in pleasure, Negan felt her fingers sinking into his hips when Joel got her to moan against his flesh. Twitching, Negan bit at his bottom lip and hummed. Her hands swept around to Negan’s ass to squeeze at his small bottom.

“Joel,” she forced herself away from Negan’s cock, crying out with the way Joel was feasting on her body. Her lips were wet, leaving a line of spit from the tip of Negan’s cock to her mouth. “Christ. You never…”

Closing her eyes shut tightly, her body trembled at what Joel was doing. As of their last few sex sessions, he wasn’t usually this focused on pleasuring her and it had her feeling euphoric from what he was doing, “Ah, well now he has something to prove…”

Joel was relentless with his motions sending waves of pleasure throughout her entire body. Dropping her head against Negan’s lower abdomen had an amused rumble escaping his throat. There was the wet sound of Joel sucking at her throbbing clit before sweeping his tongue around it. His thick fingers were plunging into her body, matching the motions of his tongue. Euphoria was spreading out through her body from her fingers to her toes, her face burying against Negan’s naked hip while he stroked his fingers over the back of her neck.

Dropping his head back on the bed, Joel’s lips were wet with his dark eyes full of lust and want for the woman over him, “Hook your arms around me.”

Listening to Negan, she gasped when he easily pulled her up from Joel and laid her down beside Joel. Pushing open her thighs, Negan laid between them. Curling his arm around one of them, he pushed at her other thigh allowing her to open herself up to him. Bracing his left arm across her lower abdomen locked her in place. Stroking his fingers from her clit to her entrance and then back again had her hips arching upwards.

A rumble of an amused sound fell from Negan and Joel rolled onto his side to caress over the lengths of her abdomen with is mouth surrounding her breast again, “You wanna show Joel our new trick?”

A wicked smirk pulled at Negan’s handsome features, rubbing his cheek against the inside of her thighs. The rough sensation of his short beard pressing over her skin had her hips arching up toward him. Circling his fingers around her entrance, Negan lowered his mouth down to start circling his tongue over her clit. Taking his time to press his fingers into her had her whimpering. Closing his eyes, Negan seemed to genuinely enjoy pleasuring her with his mouth suctioning at her flesh. Thrusting his fingers just the right way had Negan hitting her g-spot like he had done before having a fire growing at the pit of her belly. After two orgasms? Everything was sensitive. And she didn’t know how she’d make it through the sex part if this was how they kept up at everything.

The weight of the bed adjusted with Joel moving around to the bottom of the bed with Negan. Peppering kisses over her lower abdomen, Joel surprisingly enjoyed the wet sounds that Negan’s fingers were making inside of her with her hips rocking up toward him.

“You wanna share?” Negan slurred, pulling his mouth away from her body. Not allowing Joel an answer, Negan sank his fingers into Joel’s hair to pull him closer to her core. Pressing wet, hot kisses against her clit while Negan’s fingers continued to firmly thrust into her had her cooing out. Taking turns, they would both lap at her body with their tongues and sucking at her sensitive folds. Lifting his head while Joel was pleasuring her, Negan took notice of her body shaking, her fingers curled tightly around the comforter so much so that her knuckles were turning white. “Almost there baby.”

Shudders filled her entire body with her reaching for a pillow to cover her face to muffle her cries when Negan’s fingers were forced from her body when he got her to squirt. Moaning out himself, Negan felt an incredible ache at his cock. Joel’s eyes seemed surprised with his hand stroking down over his chest.

Getting up on his knees, Joel pulled her hips closer to him, his fingers pressing into her swiftly thrusting them inside of her having her arching up toward him with her still shaking. Hitting the same spots that Negan had been prodding away at had her rocking her hips against his fingers. Joel was determined, his breathing loud.

“A little bit more,” Negan trailed his fingers down between her breasts over her lower abdomen and then back again. Hissing out, Joel felt his cock twitch when the wet sound of another orgasm flooding from her body was felt. “Hot, right? We only recently just learned she was capable of this.”

“Fuck me,” she felt like the room was spinning around her with her pulling the pillow from her face. How her heart was pounding in her chest had her breathless and she shook her head. “Are you two trying to kill me? Do you not want me around tomorrow or…?”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Negan hushed her with an amused expression when Joel laid in over her, bracing himself on his left hand. Stroking over his cock with his right, Joel teased the swollen tip over her clitoris having her whimper. Lowering down beside Y/N Negan stroked his fingers over her jawline getting her to look at him. “I want to see the look on your face when he enters you.”

Quickly kissing her, Negan looked down to watch Joel line his rigid cock up with her seeping entrance. With a smack forward of Joel’s hips, it had her head tipping back with her eyes still locked on Negan’s. Clicking his tongue at the top of his mouth, Negan let out an amused rumble of a sound with Joel lowering in over her. Hooking his arm under her shoulders, Joel brought her closer to him with his head burying against the side of her neck that Negan wasn’t at.

The bed squeaked with the thrusts Joel was making inside of her, her winces filling the air. Leaning across, Negan’s mouth covered hers with his tongue brushing against hers. Humming when he pulled away, Negan got up to his knees and his hand settled in over Joel’s lower back.

“Slow it down,” Negan instructed causing Joel to grunt and look back over his shoulder at Negan. “Draw it out. Deep plunges.”

“I know how to have sex Negan,” Joel suggested with Negan dramatically bobbing his head about.

“I agree. I know you do. But we wanna drag this out. You’re gonna wear her out and she’s right. We’re gonna dehydrate her and she’s gonna be face down sleeping in this bed tomorrow. Let’s go for a more sensual experience instead of fucking,” Negan explained, his hazel eyes locked with Joel’s dark eyes. Sliding his palm in over Joel’s ass, Negan squeezed just at the bottom of it getting Joel to flex his hips up. “Slow pull back.”

Guiding Joel’s thrusts had Joel lowering his forehead against Y/N’s with her arms hooking around Joel’s shoulders. Strangely enough Joel liked the way Negan caressed over his back while his body moved over hers.

“Thatta boy,” Negan stood from the bed watching the two of them closely. Kicking out of his pants, Negan stroked at his swollen cock. “Don’t be greedy Joel. You gotta learn to share.”

Biting back the smart remark that he wanted to make, Joel pulled his hips away from her and laid in beside her. An indescribable ache overwhelmed her with the empty feeling. Wincing, Joel felt his cock resting against his lower abdomen and loosely wrapped his fingers around it to stroke over it slightly.

“Alright beautiful,” Negan breathed, crawling in over her and bracing his weight over his palms. The top of the Santa hat fell in over his eyes again making Negan laugh. Blowing, he tried to get it out of his face, but Y/N reached up to pull it from his head revealing the messy hair beneath. “Making things less festive…”

Getting comfortable between her thighs, Negan urged her to wrap her legs around his waist, “Hook your ankles…”

Doing as she was told, a shuddering breath fell from her throat with the closeness of Negan pressing in over her bracing his weight on his left hand. Leading his manhood to her entrance, Negan took his time sinking into her with his hazel eyes locked on hers. Parting her lips, she did her best to keep her eyes locked on his. Palming in over the side of her face, Negan’s hips would push forward before pulling back almost to the tip before forward again. It was incredibly deep penetration having her whimpering with every thrust he made. Their eyes were locked with them focused solely on one another with Negan stealing small kisses.

“Negan,” she cooed out, her hands palming up and over the lengths of his chest having him moaning with his movements.

Pulling himself up into a seated position, Joel cleared his throat noticing how desperate she was to have Negan close. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t see the bond between the two of them, “We need better sharing positions…”

An amused rumble fell from Negan with him nodding. Giving her a quick kiss, Negan got to his knees dragging his cock from her tight canal with a grunt. It allowed her to shakily sit up reaching out to stroke both her hands over their cocks. Urging them forward had the two of them close with her dropping down to take Joel’s cock into her mouth before going to Negan’s. Switching between the both of them had Joel bracing some of his weight against Negan.

“Fuck,” Joel moaned, his head burying against Negan’s shoulder. Biting at the flesh had Negan hissing out, his back arching with his chest pushing out closer to Joel. Negan lowered his head pressing faint kisses at Joel’s jawline. Closing his eyes, Joel tipped his head back enjoying the way it felt. Breathlessly, Joel placed his hand in over the center of Negan’s chest. How did this keep happening? Knowing that it should have been Y/N they were focusing on, Joel turned his body. Sitting down at the top of the bed, Joel braced his back against the headboard. Wiggling his fingers to direct her to him, Joel helped her lower herself down over his length after she crawled in over him with his hand settling at her lower back. “You feel so good.”

Beyond Y/N, Negan stayed there as if considering what Joel had just done, his eyebrow arching in amusement. Nodding his head, Negan moved on the bed getting on his knees behind Y/N. Palming in over her breasts while she rocked her hips over Joel had her breathing loud.

“Do you like the way he feels inside of you?” Negan slurred, pressing kisses against the side of her face. Grasping firmly to her hips, Negan helped her bounce her hips over Joel’s length, biting at her jawline. Joel’s eyebrows were furrowed locked on the movements that her body was making over his. Bracing his left hand against the headboard beside Joel’s head, Negan pulled her hips up from Joel’s length having Joel’s cock hit his stomach with a smack. Leading himself back into her, Negan started rolling his hips from behind her having her breasts bounce in Joel’s face. The warmth of her surrounding him felt incredible with Negan nuzzling his nose in against the side of her neck. The soft smacks of his balls smacking up against her clit had her purring out. “Do you like daddy inside of you?”

Hearing Negan call himself daddy had Joel smirking and he lifted up to start kissing in over the side of Y/N’s neck. Now it felt like a competition again. Of which one was better. Y/N’s head was tipped back against Negan’s shoulder in euphoria. Flexing his bicep around her waist, Joel pulled her from Negan and led her back over him. Guiding her down to fill herself completely had her whimpering out, bracing her hands against Joel’s chest while Negan continued to kiss at the side of her neck.

Meeting her with his thrusts upward with every roll of her hips had her panting out Joel’s name. Licking her lips with her eyes closed, she hooked her arm around her to jerk Negan off. Having Negan’s lips parting, his moans muted against the side of her neck.

“Do you feel good?” Joel breathed knowing that he was letting himself get fired up. Negan didn’t see this as a competition. God he was so fucking stupid. This was supposed to be them focusing on her and by the sounds she was making it was clear she was loving this. Not seeing or believing there was anything wrong between them because Joel promised her it would be fine.

“So good,” she responded in a faint moan with her trying to hold back her cries. They both were so different that it brought forth a contrasting sensation each time they switched.

“You wanna come?” Negan growled, his fingers dropping between her thighs to circle her clit allowing the right amount of friction with her grinding against his fingers with every upward movement she made over Joel’s thick cock. Between the both of them she was a hot mess. They were stretching her and filling her in the ways only they could drawing everything out. “Go on baby…come around Joel’s cock.”

Loud pants fell from her throat with her hips tremoring over Joel’s. The contractions of her tight walls clamping to his cock from her orgasm had Joel’s head resting against the center of her chest. His moans were faint and he wasn’t quite as verbal as Negan, but as he nuzzled his nose against her chest he felt like this was the closest they’d been in a long time.

“Come here,” Negan hooked his arm around her waist, pulling her from Joel again with her back against his chest. Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, Negan let her sit in his lap for a moment bracing her hands against his thighs. Smacking faintly at her bottom, Negan got her to lift her hips up and slowly lower herself down over his cock having her whine when he filled her completely. “Take your time. Catch your breath. I just like the way it feels being inside of you.”

Sitting up, Joel urged Y/N’s face to turn toward him with him curling his finger underneath her chin. Having her weakly kiss him back made him wonder if they were truly going to wear her out for tomorrow. This was about making her feel good and they were doing just that.

Placing her feet on the ground, she grasped tightly to Negan’s thighs starting to rock herself back against Negan before forward. It drew only a small amount of his cock out of her, but it felt good. They both left her with addictive ache that she wasn’t ready to lose. Once Negan filled her fully again, she circled her hips over his in a circular motion. It had Negan’s eyelids growing heavy, his lips parting to allow the inexplicable moan that wanted to escape his lips out.

“Nothing feels better than being inside of you,” Negan alerted her, nuzzling his nose against the back of her neck. Suddenly feeling left out again, Joel smirked and curled his fingers around Negan’s neck, pulling him down to the bed. Wincing, Negan stared up at Joel with Joel’s thumb pressing over the fleshy part of Negan’s throat. Loud smacks were filling the air with her now bouncing steadily back and then forward over Negan’s cock. They both looked watching Negan’s cock disappearing into her time and time again. Her arousal coating the length of it.

“You’re a pain in the ass,” Joel mouthed, his dark eyes locked on Negan’s. An amused breath fell from Negan’s throat followed by a moan. Trying to look up, Negan wanted to continue to watch Y/N’s movements over his body but Joel kept him down. “She sure does know how to ride your cock, doesn’t she? Gets drunk off of it. Like nothing feels better than you being inside of her.”

“You’d know,” Negan commented, his breathing labored with his eyes coming to a tight close with how good it felt with Y/N doing what she was. Using his body in the ways that felt good to her. Speaking quietly, Negan sucked in a sharp breath with Joel’s grasp around his throat tightening. “Either kiss me or kick my ass because you wanna do one of the two.”

“Fuck you Negan,” Joel growled lifting his hand from Negan’s throat to smack at the side of Negan’s face. Shock flooded Negan’s eyes with his breathing intensifying.

“You little shit,” Negan lifted up, stealing an angry kiss from Joel’s lips. Part of Joel wanted to pull away, but he didn’t. Instead he kissed Negan back, with the two of them fighting for dominance over the kiss. It was a foreign sensation, with Negan moaning against his mouth. Negan’s lips parted and instinctively Joel teased his tongue in against Negan’s who eagerly sucked faintly at it. Moaning, Joel felt an ache at his cock realizing this was turning out to be vastly different than he originally thought it was going to be. Unhurriedly, he pulled back nipping at Negan’s bottom lip with the movement. Humming, Joel dragged his thumb out across Negan’s bottom lip and shook his head. Patting Negan on the side of the face, Joel smirked and then lifted up to reach for Y/N. Pulling her from Negan’s cock had her whining. She had built a confident, steady pace attempting to reach a moment of bliss for the both of them, but Joel stole that from her.

Urging her back up onto the bed. Joel got her onto her knees and moved in behind her. Entering her in a fluid movement, Joel’s head tipped back and his throat flexed with slow, steady movements. It had her bouncing forward with every thrust. Negan was still laid stretched out across the bed in front of her. His cock twitching while it rest against his lower abdomen. “Fuck me.”

Stretching out his lengthy body, Negan felt Y/N lowering down enough to kiss over his abdomen while Joel’s thrusts continued behind her, “You okay?”

“Peachy,” Negan licked his lips, snatching the Santa hat that she had pulled off him earlier putting it back on. Stroking over her face, Negan cherished her features lifting up to steal a few kisses from her. “I love you. So fucking much.”

“Mmm…I love you too,” she hummed, sucking tenderly at his bottom lip. Closing her eyes, she lowered her upper half resting it over Negan’s chest, her fingers curling around Negan’s manhood caressing over it slowly. Pressing her down, Joel’s hips smacked up against her bottom, his winces filling the air with his movements.

Reaching around with her free hand, Y/N urged Joel’s hips to smack up against her harder. Turning her head, her mouth met Joel’s lips with his tongue brushing out against hers. Instead of saying anything, his breathing grew more broken, his hand shakily reaching out to grab a hold of Negan’s. Burying his nose against the side of her neck, Joel released a faint moan, his hips slowing down but growing in strength. Closing her eyes, she winced with every thrust feeling the throbbing of Joel inside of her. With a final grunt, Joel nipped at her chin with his eyes slamming shut.

“Thatta boy,” Negan rumbled patting Joel on the side of the face. Carefully drawing his hips back, Joel grunted when his cock pulled from her warmth. Tipping his head down, he watched some of his come dripping from her body and smirked. Feeling his body aching as well, Negan got up to his feet at the bottom of the bed. Working carefully, he turned her onto her back pulling her right to the edge. Getting on his knees, he grabbed a hold of one of her thighs, pushing her legs open just enough to lead his aching cock back into her. “How do you feel? Good?”

“Yes,” she panted with Joel sliding in beside her to caress over the lengths of her abdomen, squeezing and palming at her breasts as they bounced with Negan’s thrusts.

“That’s exactly what we wanted,” Negan slurred with a weak smile, plunging his cock into her. The bed was squeaking with the thrusts he was making, his head tipping back showing that the prominent vein at the side of his neck was bulging. Having Negan moaning like he was drew a fire through her veins again. Being the reason for a man to make those sounds was amazing. Lowering down in over her, Negan curled his hand around the back of her neck to get her to lift her head up so she could kiss him. Humming against her lips, Negan’s thrusts started to grow stronger with her cries getting louder. “I just want you happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Negan,” she palmed up over Negan’s chest, her fingers teasing through the dark curls of hair that covered his skin. Tipping her head back allowed Joel the room to kiss her again. Stretching his arm around, Joel’s fingers curled around the back of Negan’s thigh urging him to move faster.

“Fuck,” Negan bit down on his bottom lip, pressing in closer to her wanting to make this more personal with the ending. A small nudge of Joel’s nose against the side of Negan’s face drew him to turn his head toward Joel. This time Joel’s lips claimed his with her moan following as Negan’s thrusts grew stronger with the swollen tip of his cock hitting her in all the right places. Parting his lips, Negan allowed Joel’s tongue to brush against his once. They all shared kisses with Negan’s moans growing raspier. Negan’s hips started to falter, his forehead pressing to hers when the first line of his come filled her. Again and again he smacked up against her having her clinging to him, her whispered praises being pressed against his ear.

“Keep going,” she pled clinging tightly to him when his thrusts quickened, her hips eagerly rocking up to meet his movements. With a final cry, her nails dug into Negan’s shoulders, his eyes rolling back when he pulled his body from hers with a wet sound. Dropping at the other side of her, they all laid there staring up at the ceiling trying to catch their breath.

“That was…” Joel finally broke the silence lowering his hand to hook his fingers with hers. “Highly unexpected.”

With a laugh, Negan rolled onto his side and loosely wrapped his arm around Y/N’s body. Nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck, Negan deposited loving kisses over her jawline and sighed, “But very nice.”

“I’m just going to be feeling it for days,” she alerted them, her breathing still labored. Turning on his side too, Joel caressed over her inner thigh, his kisses pressing in over her shoulder. The ache was strong, but one she quite liked. Lifting her head, she felt the warmth of their release spilling from her body and she licked her lips. “I’m going to need some Gatorade.”

Snorting, Negan couldn’t help but laugh causing the other two to laugh as well, “We need to clean you up.”

“Hey,” Joel called out, snatching Negan’s wrist firmly with his fingers before Negan could get up from the bed. “Why waste tissue when you can use your mouth?”

“Joel,” she breathed out his name catching the smirk that Negan gave. With a half nod, Negan lowered himself back between her thighs again having her exhaling loudly. Placing her thigh over his shoulder, Negan tenderly pressed two fingers back inside of her coating the walls of her spent body with their release. Lazily dragging them out from inside of her, Negan lifted his fingers and saw Joel eyeing them over.

“You first,” Negan looked to his fingers that were coated in their fluids, a wicked expression flooding his features. Joel’s dark eyes narrowed, but instead of backing down he lifted up to drag his tongue over the length of Negan’s fingers. Taking Negan’s fingers into his mouth, Joel sucked them clean and heard Negan’s moan follow.

A cry fell from her lips when Negan’s head lowered between her thighs with Negan’s mouth and tongue lapping at her body. Involuntarily her body shook against him. Everything was sensitive, but she couldn’t deny that it still felt good. Negan was doing just as he was instructed by Joel and her eyes squeezed shut tightly.

“You crazy son of a bitch,” Joel hooked his fingers into Negan’s hair pulling his head up. Tugging him up, Joel dragged his tongue out over Negan’s lips. A loud exhale fell from Y/N’s throat, a weak smile forming at her lips. Over and over again Joel kissed Negan tasting himself along with the others on his mouth.

“Goddamn,” she blurt out having Joel pull his mouth from Negan’s with a wet sound.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it,” Negan scoffed with a laugh, lowering his head enough to nip at the flesh right below her navel.

“Oh, I’m all for it. I’m just waiting to wake up now,” she brushed her fingers through Negan’s wet hair. “I always thought the two of you might have had something going on when we were younger, but…”

“We never did anything,” Joel spoke up firmly having both Negan and Y/N look at him with an odd expression when he interrupted her thought process. “I’m…straight.”

“Right, me too,” Negan snickered, his right eyebrow arching in amusement. The tone of his voice was layered with sarcasm. Giving Joel a wink, Negan started to pull himself up from the bed. “Whatever you say buddy.”

“We just got lost in a moment,” Joel reasoned, feeling a sense of panic flooding his veins. “I don’t sleep with men. I haven’t.”

“Hey,” Y/N hushed Joel, outstretching her hand to palm in over the side of his face. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. It was hot. And you both clearly liked it.”

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to get something to clean up,” Negan dipped in to press a lingering kiss over Y/N’s lips. Brushing his tongue against hers had her purring out. The taste of their arousal still lingered over Negan’s lips and it made her moan.

Heading to the bathroom left Joel alone with Y/N. Pulling himself up into a seated position, Joel looked toward the bathroom and cleared his throat, “It’s okay Joel. We all enjoyed each other. That’s all that matters.”

“I just haven’t…” Joel tried to defend himself again and she silenced him, sweeping her thumb across his bottom lip.

“We’re all close. It was a passionate moment and it’s okay. I’m happy that we all shared that together. It made me happy.”

“You’re not gonna look at me different?” Joel spoke almost in a whisper, his southern accent growing deeper.

“Are you going to look at me different?” she repeated the question with Joel shaking his head slowly. “Then of course not.”

“I uh…” Joel brushed his messy hair out of his face and nodded toward the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.”

Getting up to his feet, Joel gave her a wink and left her to herself laying at the center of the bed. Truly, she looked happy. It was a first for her and he knew that. Being between two men? That was something completely different and she seemed to be living off the high from it all.

“Hey,” Joel spoke quietly, closing the door somewhat behind him when he entered the bathroom. At the sink, Negan lifted his head and his eyes met Joel’s in the mirror. “I uh…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Negan shook his head, washing up and reaching for a few things. “I know you’re supposed to hate me so after tonight you’re gonna go back to your old self. Don’t let my queer brain make your straight one feel uncomfortable.”

“You’re the first guy I kissed,” Joel stammered with Negan going to walk back out to the bedroom. “Okay? I’ve only been with women. This is…weird for me.”

“It’s normal Joel. People have sex. Sex feels good,” Negan stepped forward, his hazel eyes looking down upon Joel as if trying to read him. “And that’s what just happened. We did what felt good. No labels. No dumb shit. Fuck, it was just three people aiming to feel good. Don’t make it more than it is.”

Silence followed. Negan waited for Joel to say something, but when he didn’t, Negan just chuckled to himself and shook his head. Moving around Joel, Negan went to head back into the bedroom.

“Get over here you little shit,” Joel hissed pulling Negan back, having him stumbling back to him. Taking advantage of the taller, skinnier man before him, Joel grabbed a firm hold of Negan by the jaw. His other hand wrapped around Negan’s middle. Forcing him to look in the mirror, Joel shook his head. Pressing himself against Negan’s back, Joel could hear Negan’s breathing loud. “I’m in love with her.”

“And so am I,” Negan stressed wincing when Joel nuzzled his nose in against the side of Negan’s neck. Closing his eyes, Negan sucked in a sharp breath of air with Joel kissing at his skin. Tiny bites were placed over the area and it had Negan moaning. “Just because you love her doesn’t mean you can’t want someone to pound your tight ass.”

“I think you’re confusing yourself with me,” Joel’s hips bucked up against Negan drawing Negan to hiss out firmly. “If anyone was going to fuck someone in the ass, I reckon it would be me. I’m the alpha between the two of us.”

“You scream bottom Joel Miller,” Negan was quick to reverse the hold that Joel had on him. Forcing Joel face down on the counter of the bathroom had Joel grunting out. Palming down over Joel’s back, Negan took his time to squeeze at Joel’s fleshy bottom. “The man who has to be in control of everything, all the time. You’re screaming for someone to take that control from you.”

“We know you’re the one desperate to put my dick in your mouth,” Joel slurred eliciting a laugh from Negan who nodded.

“Well, I guess I’m the dick sucker and the butt fucker in the situation,” Negan released Joel allowing him to stand up. Heading for the door, he stopped and shrugged his shoulders. “This is hypothetically speaking of course.”

Leaving him alone in the bathroom had Joel’s heart pounding away inside of his chest. Was that flirting between the two of them? Let alone, how could he even respond to what happened between them tonight. He did hate Negan. And part of him did have negative feelings toward Negan. Did this all really happen just because of a heat of the moment kind of thing?

Gathering himself, he counted down from a number and then headed back into the bedroom. By now Negan and Y/N were laying at the center of the bed. The light was turned off and the only light filtering through was from the outside. Negan had finally taken off that silly fucking hat and Y/N was drawing circles over his chest while they whispered about something.

“Do you want me to leave?” Joel wondered swallowing down hard with Y/N shaking her head. Extending her hand out toward Joel, she grasped his fingers in hers and led him to lay back down. Cuddling his head in at the back of her neck, Joel deposited a kiss and appreciated her allowing him to hold her.

A lot of thoughts were running wild through Joel’s head as he stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. What did this mean for them? What did the future hold for their relationship? And so many other things. Even though he was comfortable and the most at ease he had been in a long time, he couldn’t sleep.

“Joel?” Y/N whispered after what felt like a very long time after they had laid down to sleep. “Are you awake?”

“Uh huh,” Joel was quiet, lifting his head to see that Negan’s chest was rising and falling showing that he was asleep.

“Did you slap Negan when I had my back turned?” she looked over her shoulder at Joel who gave a sheepish smile.

“I did,” Joel didn’t lie, his eyebrows bouncing up when she let out a laugh.

“I thought so,” she snickered, pulling his hand up to press a kiss over the back of it. “Smooth Mr. Miller. Very smooth.”

“I’ve wanted to smack that man for a very long time,” Joel admitted, pressing a lingering kiss against her temple. “This was just the first time I took advantage of it.”

Another quiet chuckle was heard from her with him cuddling back in from behind her. Wrapping her up in his arms, Joel wondered if this whole threesome thing would be doable. More than anything he had a lot of questions. And hopefully they would all be answered very soon. Just right now, he was going to enjoy feeling good for the first time in a very long time.

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland

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hauntingoldhouses · 6 months ago

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I have a type and I think it is quite obvious...

#older men do it better #daryl dixon #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #joel miller #the last of us #tlou #joel tlou #arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption two #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan x reader #joel miller x reader #daryl dixon x reader

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abbysslvt · 2 years ago

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"I don't have a type-"

oh apocalyptic father figures...

#joel miller #rick grimes #joel miller x reader #rick grimes x reader #apocolyptic father figures make me drool #i need them both in my bed right now!!#the walking dead #twd #the last of us #tlou

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kaysteahouse · 2 years ago

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Me: I don't have a type

Also me:

#oh traumatized men who dont know how to express their emotions #how i love you<3 #bucky Barnes #joel miller #daryl dixon #joel miller x reader #bucky barns x reader #daryl dixon x reader #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #mcu #twd #tlou #tlou joel #twd daryl #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes x reader

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tldix · 12 days ago

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rec list:

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

(this will include just all of my favorite fics i’ve come across, i’ll be actively updating this so make sure to stay & be on the lookout)

warning: MATURE 18+

joel miller

series:

so much to lose - @auteurdelabre

you wanted this - @alwaysmicado

first date - @joelsrose

evergreen - @punkshort

somewhere to run - @punkshort

one shot:

ring - @honeyedmiller

run - @pedrospatch

dean winchester

series:

spotless - @stusbunker

daryl dixon

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kenobiwanx · 2 months ago

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HELLO EVERYONE!!

Commissions are open for November 💫

As I already have 4 people on the waitlist. There's only more 4 slots left.

So if you're interested, hurry to my dms or email me. And please just ask for a slot if you're sure you CAN and WANT to commission me.

I can draw any character!

I will start working on November commissions around day 6th! following the waitlist line!

feel free to ask me any questions 💜

Thank you!!

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hazashiovo · 10 months ago

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I can't stop thinking about this crossover and it's driving me nuts.

Imagine being captured by Negan's group while on the hunt for the woman who killed your gf's dad.

This dude would not stop making sex jokes at you,and your girlfriend HATES it.

The two of you somehow manage to escape after a while of being held captive, but now not only are you hunting her father's killer,but you're also being hunted by Negan's people.

I love my brain sometimes.

If I think of this hard enough I might make it an image, either this,or Ellie being a Savior and capturing Reader while she's out scavenging.

It's pretty fucking noticeable I'm a huge fan of tlou and twd.

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kermit-coded · 13 days ago

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my silly little doodles of zombie shatterstar from my nightmare virus au. fic is coming, but for now take him.

#my art tag #nightmare virus au #marvel #x men #shatterstar #ricstar #<- the scarf is his #zombies #world war z #wwz #tlou #resident evil #twd #the walking dead

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pedroscurls · 2 years ago

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Title: One Drunken Night (Part 4.)

CHAPTER TITLE: Negan Smith

Character(s): Negan (pre-apocalypse) and Reader (third-person POV), cameo from Lucille Summary: Negan and Reader bump into each other once more. Could it be a sign from the universe? Word Count: 3,509 Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated solely for Negan! Also, I missed Negan in my previous chapter, but as I was writing this one... I started missing Joel. I’m in a dilemma lol. Warning: Dirty talk, foul language (it’s Negan lol), grinding, almost smut ;)

Y/N was excited. Joel was interested in her and she felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of finally going on a date with him. She tried to continue her work week, but it was obvious her mind was elsewhere. Though, she was broken out of her reverie when her phone started to ring.

It was Joel.

“Hey you,” she smiled to herself. “I can’t wait for tonight.”

Joel sighed. That was a clear sign that something was wrong and Y/N was now awaiting bad news.

“I’m sorry, darlin’. Somethin’ came up…” He hated to cancel on her, especially when she sounded so excited. It still surprised him that Y/N wanted to go out with him and now, here he was, canceling on her.

“Oh.” She felt embarrassed, sad, disappointed. “That’s okay. Is everything okay?”

“It’s just Tommy… I gotta handle that first. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Joel.” She bit her lower lip. “We’ll find another day and time. We’ll figure it out.” Y/N was trying to hold it together. She tried to mask her disappointment, but she wasn’t sure that she was doing a good job of it. She knew it wasn’t Joel’s fault, but she still felt crushed.

“All right then. I gotta go, darlin’.”

“Sure. Hope everything turns out okay.”

“Hope so too. I’ll talk to you soon. Again, I’m sorry, darlin’.”

When the call ended, Y/N sighed. She looked down at her desk and once again, but her lower lip. She tried to keep herself composed; it felt almost too good to be true. The moment she and Joel were supposed to go on a date, something came up and she didn’t know what to make of it.

As she went about the rest of her day, Y/N kept thinking back to Joel. She wanted to call him again, text him, just talk to him, but decided against it. She knew Joel wouldn’t lie to her and it did sound like he, too, was upset that he had to cancel.

Once her work day finished, Y/N made it a point to stop by the store. Honestly, she was sad and she needed a pick-me-up, so she decided on getting a pint of ice cream. All she wanted was to talk to Joel, but she had to give him his space. She knew that he would reach out to her once everything was settled.

At the store, Y/N was standing in the middle of the ice cream aisle. She was thinking of so many things: of Joel, of their canceled date, what kind of ice cream she should get, what Joel was doing… It wasn’t until she heard a familiar voice that she was brought out of her trance.

“We gotta stop meeting like this.”

Y/N looked over at him and flashed him a small smile. “Negan…”

“You know, now I’m convinced that the universe is trying to tell us something.”

“And what’s that?”

Negan smirked, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “We gotta have another night of fun.”

Y/N bit her lower lip as a response. Her insides tingled and the heat between her legs became noticeable as she thought back to the night they shared earlier in the week. At that moment, she had forgotten about Joel and their canceled date. It was interesting though. While she and Negan did have each other’s numbers, they hadn’t spoken to each other since the morning at the coffee shop. It was an honest coincidence that they bumped into each other again.

“You really think that’s a good idea?”

“Why don’t you tell me what you think, doll?”

Y/N bit her lower lip, turning to face him. She noticed his dimpled smirk and could feel his confidence radiating.

“I think…” She stepped closer. She could practically feel Negan’s breath against her and his scent filled her senses; it was intoxication.

“Yeah?” He arched a brow, licking his lower lip and watching her closely.

“I think I’m going to go home and eat some ice cream.”

Negan chuckled, watching her reach into the freezer to grab a pint of cookies and creme ice cream. He looked at her, running a hand over his face. “You know, you’ve got me wrapped around your pretty little finger, doll.”

Y/N smiled, flashing him a wink. She didn’t respond, but started to walk away. When she realized Negan wasn’t following her, she stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder.

“You gonna join me or what?”

Negan grinned, pocketing both hands into his pants as he walked towards her. “Lead the way, doll.”

—

Negan was sitting on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table as he was watching a basketball game. He looked over at the sound of the door opening, seeing Lucille walk into the house.

“Hey,” he called out.

Lucille looked over at him, arching a brow. “Did you eat?”

“Was waiting for you.” Negan said, biting his lower lip. He wanted to repair his marriage, wanted to do whatever he could to salvage his relationship with Lucille.

“That’s sweet,” she smiled. Negan felt his heart flutter at the sight. “But I ate already.”

Negan sighed, nodding his head. “That’s okay. Come join me?”

Lucille looked over in his direction, biting her lower lip nervously. She set her things down and nodded, removing her shoes and climbing into the couch next to him.

Negan let a small smile line his lips and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He felt her lean against him and Negan felt a rush of hope run through him.

They sat like that for a couple of minutes, watching the game and just enjoying her presence. It wasn’t until she reached for his beer that she noticed something was missing from her hand.

“Where’s your ring?”

Lucille looked down at her hand, her brow arching slightly. “Oh… Um, I must have taken it off earlier.” She lied. She had stopped wearing her wedding ring, but he had just noticed now.

“Why?” Negan asked, pulling away from her.

Lucille didn’t answer.

“Why, Lucille?”

“I stopped wearing it.” She admitted.

Negan felt his heart break and immediately stood from the couch. “Really? Fucking really?”

“Negan–”

“No. I have tried, Lucille! You don’t even want to look at me anymore, or touch me… It’s like you hate my fucking guts and I have no idea how we got to this point.”

Lucille felt her blood boiling again, tossing her hands up in the air in defeat. “That’s because I don’t like being around you!”

Negan felt his heart break even more. “What?”

“I’m tired, Negan.” Lucille admitted. “I don’t know how to fix this, to fix us.”

“And you think by removing your ring, that it would just solve everything?”

“No… Negan, just–”

“Just fucking say it, Lucille.”

She bit her lip, shaking her head. “Maybe we should– Maybe we should just take some time for ourselves, figure out what we both really want and if this is worth fighting for.”

Negan shook his head, removing his ring and slamming it on the coffee table. “Take all the time you fucking need, Lucille.”

Negan left the living room and walked to their bedroom, grabbing a duffle bag and packing a week’s worth change of clothes. He didn’t bother to look at her on his way out, just being in the same house with her was breaking his heart and it hurt like hell.

He didn’t know where this left them.

—

Y/N made it back to her apartment with Negan. He was surprisingly respecting her space when Y/N assumed that his hands would be all over her. He stepped inside and looked over at her, his mind drifting to the night they shared.

“Want anything to drink?”

“Water’s fine.” Y/N nodded. “Make yourself at home.” She left him in the living room and walked to her bedroom first, setting her things down and changing into much more comfortable clothing. Once changed into shorts and an oversized hoodie, she walked back out to her kitchen to retrieve his glass of water and spoon for her pint of ice cream.

Negan looked around her living room, noticing the variety of photographs that were displayed. He smiled at a photo of her and a photo of a corgi. She looked significantly younger, but she looked happy nonetheless.

He turned his attention to her once she entered the living room. Negan noticed the change of her clothes and he smiled. She was just the distraction he needed at the moment. He took the glass from her hands, his fingers brushing against hers.

“You take all of these?” Negan asked, pointing to the photographs.

“Yeah. I’m a photographer.”

“Oh, no shit?” Negan smiled. “They look great.”

“Thanks. I’m still trying to get my own art show, but it’s a work in progress.”

He watched her take a seat on the couch, bringing her legs onto the couch. “This your dog?” Negan asked once more, pointing to the photograph of her with a corgi.

Y/N smiled sadly. “Yeah, I grew up with him.”

Negan smiled, walking towards her and taking a seat next to her. “Is he…”

She nodded. “Yeah. He lived an amazing fourteen years.”

“What was his name?”

“Waffles.”

Negan chuckled. “Waffles?”

“Yeah. I named him after my favorite food,” she nodded. “My parents got him for me when I was around thirteen.”

“You’re cute,” Negan said abruptly. “Sorry. I mean–”

“Thanks, you too.” Y/N replied, trying to ease the tension. Negan felt himself relax a bit and he set his glass down onto the coffee table. He watched her open her pint of ice cream, tilting his head in amusement.

“Anyway, Waffles and I… We were a package deal. Wherever I went, he was right there. Took him with me for college. He helped me through my parents’ deaths.” She admitted.

“I’m sorry,” Negan said.

“It’s okay. It happened a while ago.”

He bit his lower lip. He didn’t think his night would end with serious conversations with a woman he slept with, but he didn’t mind. It had been a long time since he had a decent conversation with someone that didn’t lead to him being yelled at.

“I didn’t mean to pry,” he said. “I just– You interest me.”

“Is that because we slept with each other?”

Negan smirked. “Maybe, but… There’s just something about you. Can’t put my finger on it.”

“Well, what more do you want to know?”

Negan arched a brow, watching her lips part as she brought the spoon up to her mouth. He tried to not let his dirty mind speak for him, so instead, he took her invitation and started to get to know her.

“Favorite color?”

Y/N laughed. “Red. You?”

Negan grinned. “Same. Looks like we have a lot in common,” he winked.

“That’s one thing,” she giggled.

Negan smiled to himself. She made him feel good and the way she looked at him made all his concerns and problems disappear. It was like she was luring him in, silently saying that he was safe with her.

“Well, two things we have in common… Favorite color and favorite sport,” he replied, referring to the night they met and their conversation about basketball.

“Okay, good point.”

“Have any siblings?” Negan asked.

Y/N shook her head. “Only child.”

“Me too. See. I think we make a good match,” he winked.

“You don’t quit, do you?” Y/N blushed, finding herself moving closer to him.

“With you? No chance in hell.” Negan noticed how she was inching herself closer and Negan reached out to rest his arm on the back of the couch, running his fingertips along the back of her shoulder.

“What do you do?” Y/N asked.

“Gym teacher.”

She widened her eyes slightly and Negan noticed her blush even more. “What?”

“I think it’s great that you’re a gym teacher. Do you like it?”

Negan shrugged. He debated whether or not he should lie to her and then he remembered what Lucille said. He had always complained about his job, but did nothing to change it. So, instead, he replied, “It pays the bills.”

Y/N didn’t push the subject further, which he was grateful for. Negan didn’t want to talk about himself. He didn’t want to deal with the fact that he was still married and that just being with Y/N was wrong while he was still in a committed relationship. Sure, his marriage was falling apart, but he was still a married man nonetheless.

“You want some?” Y/N asked, motioning to her ice cream.

Negan licked his lips. “You gonna feed me?”

“If you want me to.”

Negan smirked, shaking his head. He reached over to grab her spoon, taking a spoonful of ice cream and bringing it to his lips. He watched her eyes drift to his lips and he smirked. Though, Negan did tell himself that kissing was off limits.

“That’s yummy.”

“My favorite ice cream,” she replied.

“Good to know,” he winked.

Negan watched as Y/N set aside her ice cream. He arched his brow and cleared his throat once she straddled his waist. Immediately, he felt himself stiffen slightly at the feel of her sitting on his lap.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hi.”

Negan bit his lower lip, resting his hands on her hips. He looked into her eyes, feeling himself get lost in her orbs. When she rolled her hips, Negan let out a low growl and gripped her hips tightly.

“What are you doing?” Negan asked.

“What does it feel like I’m doing?”

She wrapped her arms around him, linking her hands at the base of his neck as she continued to roll her hips. Her shorts slightly rode up, revealing more of her legs and the thin fabric made her feel the bulge that was growing from beneath Negan’s pants.

“You’re making me feel like a goddamn teenager with the way you’re moving,” he growled.

“Yeah? What do you want me to do?” she whispered huskily.

Negan gripped her hips to stop her from moving, looking at her from top to bottom. He didn’t respond, but rather grabbed the ends of her oversized hoodie to pull over her head. Once more, she was bare and not wearing a bra which made Negan groan, causing his cock to twitch against his pants.

“You’re killing me,” he exaggerated. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

Y/N bit her lip, grabbing his hands and instead placing them over her exposed breasts instead. Then, she began rolling her hips once more. She put more pressure against him, her bulge pressing firmly against her that she sped her movements.

“Goddamn, look at you,” he grinned. “I’m not even inside of you, but you’re riding me like I am.”

Y/N whimpered at his voice and choice of words. She leaned down, trying to kiss him but instead, he pressed his lips to her neck, moving down to her collarbone. She didn’t mind though, it felt much better with his lips against her skin, his beard brushing against her.

“Can we move this into your bedroom?”

Y/N pulled back, looking into his eyes. “Can I get a please?”

Negan smirked. “Only because you’re being a good girl. Can we please move this into your bedroom?”

She grinned, standing from his lap. Y/N stood before Negan, clad in nothing but her shorts. Negan couldn’t stop staring at her, his eyes raking over her frame possessively. She extended a hand out for him and Negan happily took it, turning her around so that he could press against her from behind. His lips attached to her neck once more, sucking on it gently as he felt her push back against him.

“Keep on moving or I’ll take you where you stand,” he growled. “I can easily push you against the wall and fuck you right there.”

Y/N felt the heat pool between her legs, turning to look over her shoulder. “And what if I wanted that?”

Negan grunted. He pushed her against the wall in her hallway, watching as she reached out to rest her hands against it. He licked his lips and grabbed her shorts, tugging them down her legs roughly. Negan’s eyes looked her over once more, noticing how inviting her slit looked as she bent over for him.

Negan groaned, bringing a hand down to her backside. His palm connecting with her flesh echoed throughout her hallway and he noticed a red imprint slowly beginning to form.

“Goddamn, I’m gonna fuck you so good, baby.”

“Please, Negan…”

Just as Negan was about to undo his pants, Y/N phone began to ring. Suddenly, she was broken out of whatever trance she was in and her mind drifted to Joel. Negan was taken by surprise when she stood back up and walked to her phone, noticing the change in her demeanor.

“It’s Joel.” She whispered, looking almost as if she was caught cheating on him. Y/N knew that they weren’t in a relationship so it wasn’t like she couldn’t sleep with other people.

Negan sighed. It felt like no one really wanted him and he cleared his throat, nodding his head. “You better take that.”

“You sure?”

Negan nodded, grabbing her hoodie from the living room and handing it to her. He ran his thumb across her nipple, watching as she licked her lower lip. The phone kept ringing and it served as a reminder for them both that maybe what they were doing was wrong.

“Rain check?” She asked.

Negan chuckled. “You sure about that, doll?”

Y/N bit her lower lip. “I like you, Negan.”

He sighed. Negan was lying to her and while he did like her as well, he couldn’t help but think back to Lucille. What he was doing… It was wrong, but there was just something about Y/N that he couldn’t get enough of.

“You better answer that,” he replied, motioning towards her phone. Negan was gathering his things, watching as she pulled on her hoodie once more. He felt jealous and sad. Jealous because this other man, this Joel person, managed to grab her attention in the middle of their foreplay. And sad because he knew that she was out of reach and because he still had to go back to reality.

Y/N was conflicted. She wanted to answer the phone, but she also didn’t want Negan to feel like she was just using him. So, she held up a finger to get him to stay for a minute as she answered the phone.

“Hey, Joel.”

“Hey, darlin’. I–”

“Can you give me a sec?”

Y/N put herself on mute and walked towards Negan, running her hand along his leather jacket and up to cup his cheek. She felt his beard underneath her fingertips and noticed her slightly lean against her touch.

“Let me know when you get home?” She said.

Negan nodded. “Sure. Take care, Y/N.”

Negan left her apartment and walked back towards his car. He sighed, sitting in the driver’s seat as he felt a variety of emotions running through him. He didn’t know what he was doing. He thought back to Lucille and remembered their conversation earlier that day. It just brought on more heartache and then he glanced over at Y/N’s apartment, letting out a heavy sigh.

It was a couple of minutes before Negan decided to leave the parking lot, but it wasn’t before his phone rang.

It was Y/N.

“Miss me already, doll?” Negan smiled.

“Actually, yes. Listen…” Negan heard her sigh. “I’m confused right now, but I do like talking to you.”

“Me too,” Negan admitted.

“Can you come back?” she asked.

Negan was taken by surprise but as he thought back to Lucille, he felt his heart ache and anger beginning to bubble. Maybe he wasn’t thinking straight, but he didn’t care. Lucille had basically given up on him and while he knew it was coming, it didn’t prepare him for the hurt he was feeling.

“Would you be surprised if I said I didn’t leave yet?”

Negan heard her giggle. It made him feel good to know that he could make another person, another woman, laugh and smile. It made him feel like less of a failure.

“How about I order us some pizza and we can just… Hang out,” she replied.

“Hang out huh?” He smirked, leaving his car and walking towards her door. “I think that sounds like a good idea.”

Y/N opened the door, still holding the phone to her ear. She smiled at the sight of him and hung up the phone, biting her lower lip and taking his hand to bring him inside.

“What about Joel?” Negan asked.

“Like I said, I’m confused… I like you… But I also like him.”

He nodded. “Surprisingly, I’m okay with that. I’ll take what I can get.”

---

Part 5.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged!): @kaitebugg03, @a-girl-interupted, @igotbasicdrag, @darkshadow6200

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imaginary98 · 2 years ago

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I need these two together ASAP 😩

#rick grimes smut #joel miller #the last of us #tlou show #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fluff #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x reader smut #rick grimes x reader #twd fanfiction #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes

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wingedtrash · 9 months ago

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My intro/begging for motivation

(after literally leaving this account vacant for months)

My names Ellie, I write (when I feel like it which isn’t very much anymore bc… writers block)

But maybe y’all can help me out of that by leaving requests/asks for the following fandoms? Please I’m begging

Said fandoms being:

The Walking Dead

Red Dead Redemption

The Last of us

Marvel (in general)

X-Men

Resident Evil

COD

Blue eye Samurai

The new Fallout Prime show

Etc. if I can think of more I’ll keep listing

I write smut and fluff, don’t be shy with asks because I will write just about anything. Of course when we get into the smut territory there will have to be some boundaries, but I can go into those after I get a couple of asks because this probably isn’t going to gain any traction anyway.

Thank you for reading and perhaps think about leaving an ask for me to write!

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naughtyneganjdm · 22 days ago

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Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 13

Summary: Joel wakes up surprised with how comfortable he is with what happened between him, Negan and Y/N the night before. They get lost in one another once again and his feelings for Negan begin to grow even more complicated.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Negan Smith, Elizabeth, Peter, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/156444685

Warnings: 18+, swearing, smut, SPOILERS AHEAD DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED. MMF Threesome, two men doing much more than kissing, heavy touching between two men, dirty talking, unprotected ps in v, etc.

Notes: Yeah, I'm going to stress again SPOILERS two men are very much involved with each other in this chapter and it's another chapter where the three of them have another threesome together. So yeah. Pre-warned.

After what happened last night? Joel never expected that he would find himself actually comfortable in bed with both Y/N and Negan. During the night, Joel was the last one to truly fall asleep. Negan of course was the first one out, but Y/N followed not incredibly long after. Although he was at ease and happy, there were a lot of unanswered questions that were swirling around in his head. What was nice though is that eventually, those feelings subsided and Joel had no idea when he had fallen asleep. But it was a good sleep. A deep sleep that left him feeling amazing. Having Y/N fall asleep in his arms was not something he had in a very long time, but he liked it. That warmth and knowing that he was wanted there? Well nothing beat that. He didn’t realize how much he had truly missed holding Y/N in his arms until last night. And it wasn’t something that he was eager to get rid of. It may have been morning, but he liked where he was and he had no intentions of moving.

Back when he was married to Y/N, Joel toward the end of their relationship hadn’t been much of a cuddler. Sure, when they were younger he had a hard time letting her go. They were always cuddling. Joel had been addicted to her during the first two thirds of their relationship. Always wanting her to be near. Maybe it was the idea that he was so afraid of losing her that kept him clinging to her. He had lost so much growing up that he was worried about the idea of losing her. But toward the end of their relationship? It was hard for Joel to show affection for her. He knew that he was cold. But it was because of that depression that settled into him. Even when he was with Tess, Joel never showed any kind of that. It was Tess that would hold him at night, eager to be close to him. But here? Joel didn’t know why he ever let things like this stop. This felt so nice.

Now that he laid there with his eyes closed, it gave Joel time to think about their past. Back when they were married, Joel remembered Y/N begging him for this. So touch starved by him that she would literally plead with him to hold her at night. Really, he should have never denied her of that. Human touch was an amazing thing. Just to be hugged or held felt amazing. And laying in his arms, Joel knew that Y/N was comfortable. She felt safe. That’s what she always told him when they were younger. Joel made her feel safe. Like nothing could ever hurt her. But then he did. And the loneliness had set in. Joel slept at his side of the bed and she had hers. Looking back on things now, Joel wished he could time travel to correct his shitty behavior. Y/N was the best thing that happened to him. Most of his life he had felt an emptiness that he couldn’t quite explain, but she was the one thing other than the children that made him feel like he wasn’t alone.

In his arms, Y/N moved slightly. It made him worry because he wasn’t ready to let go of that warmth. Unhurriedly, his eyes fluttered to an open. At first, things were blurry around the room. The only thing he could make out was the sun filtering in from the large windows that were behind his back. Everything else was just shadowed shapes. Adjusting his hips, Joel slid in closer toward Y/N snuggling her tightly. The movement had the sheets tugging at his waist prompting them to slide further down his naked body.

Lazily lifting his head, Joel stared out across the bed to see that Y/N’s head was resting in over Negan’s chest. By the sounds of Negan’s breathing, Joel could tell that Negan was still sleeping. His chin was cuddled in against the top of Y/N’s head. Smirking, Joel realized that where his arm was wrapped around Y/N, her fingers were firmly hooked with his. They had been holding hands all night long since she had fallen asleep.

Taking advantage of the moment, Joel slid forward. Pressing gentle kisses over her shoulder that was exposed. Using his free hand, he lifted it to press her hair aside to help aid him in dragging his kisses over the side of her neck. Pampering her flesh with slow, wet kisses had her breathing changing and her body shifting.

“Mornin’” Joel slurred, his southern accent thicker with it being the morning. A long sigh fell deep from within Y/N, her fingers squeezing tighter to his alerting him that she was in fact awake. “How are you feeling?”

“Warm,” she answered with a yawn enjoying the way that it felt between both Joel and Negan. Both of them produced a large amount of heat. They felt so very different, but it was a nice sensation to wake up to. A gasp escaped her with Joel pressing his hips forward, grinding up against her from behind. Releasing his hand, she reached back to press her fingers in over his naked hip. “Joel.”

“Sorry,” he snickered against her flesh, leaving a small bite at her shoulder. Having him pretend like he didn’t purposely do that was just silly. “It’s morning. He can’t help it. It was a hard night for him. All he could think about was being inside the warm home he thinks he should always be in.”

“God,” she muted her laugh that tried to escape her throat. Rolling her eyes, she stole a look back at Joel who seemed thoroughly amused with what he had just said. “Well then he should have just put himself back in there last night and stayed there.”

“That was an option?” Joel stammered, his eyebrows bouncing up getting her to let out another entertained laugh. “Well shit, why didn’t you tell me that? I would have taken advantage of that from the start.”

“Stop,” she was doing her best to still be quiet, biting down on her bottom lip. Knowing that Negan was still sleeping kept her from going back and forth with Joel in that moment. “What time is it?”

Stretching out her body, Y/N released what sounded like a squeak and it had Joel smiling. That was something that she did since she was a kid. When she’d do a full body stretch, somehow that sound always escaped her.

Dropping her head back down, she could tell that she was still way too tired to be getting up so she rubbed her cheek in against the center of Negan’s chest. That action had Negan’s breathing changing, a tiny scoff escaping his lips showing them both that Negan was actually awake. Lifting his head, Negan’s long eyelashes fluttered to an open. Taking a look at Y/N resting there, Negan dropped his head back down and muttered something under his breath.

“Too early,” Negan’s voice was always naturally very raspy, but in the morning? It was so much deeper. Dragging his fingers over Y/N’s shoulder, Negan tipped his head down to press a kiss at the top of her head. “I don’t know about the two of you, but I need more sleep.”

“I have no interest in leaving yet,” Y/N promised, her fingers stroking at Negan’s chest drawing lines over it. Her fingers twisted around the dark curls of hair feeling Joel’s nose nuzzling in against the back of her neck.

“But you wanna talk,” Negan reminded her of what he had just woken up to which was her and Joel talking. “So if you wanna do that or fuck or…whatever. Have at it. Just be quiet. Or try to be. I need the sleep.”

“Right. He says that he would be okay with the two of us doing that, but trust me—he cares,” Joel asserted, a rush of excitement flooding his veins when Y/N turned in his arms to face him instead of laying her head on Negan’s chest. Facing Joel allowed Negan to slide in behind her to drape his arm over her abdomen with his head snuggled in against the back of her neck.

“I care about what? You two fucking or sleeping?” Negan yawned with his eyes remaining closed. “If we’re talking sleep, I care very much. You two screwing each other? I don’t mind at all.”

Joel’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t believe Negan when he said that, but the strange thing was. Y/N did believe Negan. He seemed very supportive of Y/N being able to be close to both him and Joel. Negan’s breathing grew louder letting them know he was trying to fall back asleep again.

Palming in over the side of her face, Joel’s heart skipped a beat watching her eyes flutter to a slow close. Whispering to try to be polite to Negan’s needs and request of sleep, Joel knew he still wanted to talk to her, “You look good.”

“I probably look a mess,” she corrected Joel reaching for his hand to bring it up to press a kiss over the back of it. That wasn’t something Joel would ever describe her as right now. To him? In that moment? She was perfect. In every way. “I’m spent. You two wore me out.”

“It’s everything you wanted,” Negan’s voice spoke up, surprising them when he groaned behind her. “You wanted to feel better, he wanted to feel better. I’d say we were successful with what we did last night. You’re probably dehydrated and need that Gatorade you talked about.”

“I thought you were sleeping,” she teased Negan using her free hand to reach back to poke him in the stomach.

“I have ears,” Negan growled against her skin having chills run down her spine. The warmth of his breath felt incredible behind her ear. “Plus, if the cowboy over there wanted to play a round of lasso the rooster, I’m pretty fucking sure you wouldn’t tell him no.”

“Lasso the rooster?” Joel’s brow line furrowed, his head tipping slightly with Negan throwing his hand up.

“Cock, Joel. Cock,” Negan stressed eliciting a tiny laugh from Y/N with Joel rolling his eyes. How dramatic Negan was being while also being very much fatigued entertained her more than it probably should have. “Lasso being her pussy.”

“I reckon I put that together from the start,” Joel grumbled under his breath having Y/N lift her hand to bury her face into it attempting to hide her laughter. “You’re just so…”

“Charming? Handsome? A smart ass?” Negan flashed a big, cheesy smile that still expressed that he was tired by the look over his face.

“I was going to go with immature, but sure you can go with that,” Joel responded with a wicked smirk, grunting when Negan reached out to shove at the side of his face. “Can you just go to bed like you said you were going to do?”

“I can’t help you’re fucking loud,” Negan muttered, lifting up enough to press a lingering kiss over Y/N’s cheek. Even though he didn’t mind Negan in the moment, Joel really wished that he had some alone time with Y/N. “I promise to be a good boy.”

“Please,” she breathed out, turning her head enough to palm in over the side of Negan’s face getting him to kiss her. “If you’re a good boy, then I know something is wrong.”

There was that feeling again. Jealousy. Giggles fell from Y/N with Negan peppering her with playful kisses, turning her over onto her back to crawl slightly in over her. It was something about the way she looked at Negan that made Joel feel somehow less than him. It had been so long since she had looked at him the way she did Negan. And it was pure. Things may have been going alright for him and her right now, but he wished she would have looked at him like that. Not Negan.

“I love you, you jerk,” Negan whispered, nuzzling his nose in against hers. Giving her a final kiss, Negan lowered back into the bed. She pushed slightly at Negan’s shoulders eliciting a snort from him. Almost immediately after she was turning around with Negan hooking his arm around her waist. But when her eyes connected with Joel’s, there was a rise in color in her face from her laughter.

“You’re cute,” Joel declared quietly, outstretching his hand to tap softly at the tip of her nose. Amusement tugged at her lips with her cuddling her head in closer to the pillows. Today she looked genuinely happy. He liked seeing it, he just wished it would have been solely from him. For years he had gotten used to a look from her that told him she was heartbroken, but just trying to get by. Now she seemed to be enjoying life. “You don’t regret last night, do you?”

There seemed to be some consideration flooding through her features until she smiled, bit down on her bottom lip and shook her head, “No, I cant say that I regret it.”

Another small yawn fell from her lips before she lifted her hand up to stroke her fingers through Joel’s messy hair. Enjoying the way she touched him had Joel’s eyes coming to a tight close. The bed dipped and a kiss was pressed over the center of his forehead. One that he couldn’t help smiling at.

“I haven’t seen you look like this in a long time,” she whispered, her fingers brushing the longer strands of his short hair behind his ear. “You look happy.”

“I could say the same thing about you,” Joel countered her comment, his eyes lazily opening. Nothing felt better than the warmth of her near. Turning his head into her touch, he placed a kiss over the center of her palm and hummed. “Today you look happier than you have in a long time.”

“It’s me. I’m a fucking antidepressant,” Negan blurt out with his head lifting up slowly. The moment was serious and sweet. But Negan popped in again with his antics, doing his best to be silly. “My dick comes out and people just start fucking feeling better. That’s why they call it the magic stick.”

“Either you go to bed or I’m going to break your jaw and knock you out. That way you don’t have to worry about sleeping and us being too loud with our talking,” Joel warned with a growl eliciting a hearty laugh from Negan. A shocked expression was over Y/N’s face that was also humored. That wasn’t something she expected from him. “I’m sorry, he’s annoying.”

“I’m quite loveable, thank you,” Negan mocked, the cheeky expression that he was making had Joel rolling his eyes and faintly laughing. Although he wanted to be annoyed with Negan, it felt like the younger version of Joel that found Negan to be funny with his dumbass attitude was coming out. “See, you’re mad because I’m making you laugh. You don’t like being happy. You’d rather be grumpy all the fucking time. You want people to be scared of you with that sassy face.”

“You two are ridiculous,” she spoke up getting Joel’s eyes to lock back on hers. No question she found them more so entertaining than anything else, but she had to point out how foolish they were being sounding like boys.

“He’s the one that’s annoying,” Joel threw his hand out at Negan whose nose was wrinkling in entertainment. “I think he lives to be a manchild.”

“Yet, you’re smiling,” she reminded Joel getting a glare in response. A need to point out the negatives in Negan were there. To remind Y/N of how he was awful for her. But? She wasn’t wrong. For some fucking reason, Joel was laughing at Negan. Even if he was being incredibly stupid. “I’m just saying. Don’t get mad at me for pointing out what I see.”

Something strange was happening when it came to Negan. There was no planet where he’d even want to suggest that Negan was making him happy. After all they had gone through since Negan showed up in his life again? Admitting that there was a sense of joy that he felt when he was around Negan would change everything. Mostly the feeling Joel had around Negan was confusion. And maybe jealousy. Negan was his competition. The other man he was battling for Y/N’s heart. He had those negative feelings toward Negan. They were there. So the idea that Negan was making him happy in any fashion? Well that was hard to comprehend. And it wasn’t something he wanted to focus on.

“So uh…” Joel wanted to think of something to change the subject. They had all gotten quiet. And it had started to feel awkward. “How tired are you right now?”

“Extremely,” she stressed, stretching out her body trying to get more comfortable in the bed between them. While she enjoyed the way it felt, there was an ache that lingered throughout her body. And she knew exactly why. “Why do you ask?”

“He wants to sink the ship again into your morning glory,” Negan informed her with a rumble of a growl. Instantly it had Joel rolling his eyes. Negan had a real way with words there. “A repeat performance or an encore if you will.”

“Oh!” she thought about what Negan said. Shaking her head had Joel’s lips parting. Maybe he should lie and say he was suggesting something else. Because she didn’t look too thrilled at the idea of having sex with him again. And even though he didn’t mean to, he was frowning. “I can’t handle all of what happened last night again. That’d be way too much for me right now.”

“Turn that frown upside down cranky pants,” Negan ordered, quick to snap his fingers at Joel with the sadness that seemed to overtake Joel at the idea he wouldn’t get to have something more this morning. “That wasn’t a no.”

Sliding in closer to Y/N, Negan curled his fingers around her jaw loosely. Exhaling sharply, her eyes came to a tight close when he shook his head. Biting at her jawline provoked a moan to fall from her throat, “It means not the sex marathon like last night. No squirting. Or else she won’t make it through the day.”

Gasping out, her eyes came to a tight close with Negan’s hand snaking beneath the blanket to prop her thigh up over his. Tangling their legs, Negan licked his fingertips and gave Joel a smirk before nuzzling his nose in against the side of her neck.

“Right?” Negan slurred against her flesh, tracing his fingertips over the length of her sex beneath the sheets. A rush of pleasure filled her eyes with her tipping her head back against Negan’s shoulder. Smirking, Negan reached between them from behind to lead his cock to her entrance, prodding at it with just the tip at first.

“Yes,” she licked her lips, a muted wince escaping her when he allowed more to sink into her from behind. Negan’s eyelids were heavy, his jaw lowering and flexing with the warmth of her enveloping him. Grasping tightly to her hip, Negan lazily moved his hips behind her while spooning her. Something flickered in Joel’s dark eyes with him watching them. Negan’s large hand cupped at her bare breast, squeezing over it. Purring out, she tipped her head back just enough to get Negan to steal a kiss from her lips.

Soft smacking sounds with Negan’s hand caressing in over her inner thigh toward her hip and then back again filled the air. Grunting, Negan tipped his head back to stare out at Joel and wiggled his finger the beckon him in, “Come close if you want to be a good boy.”

Realizing he was still being included, Joel slid in closer to Y/N pinning her between him and Negan. Their legs were all tangled together with Joel demanding a kiss from her lips. Tiny squeaks of the bed from Negan’s firm, yet unhurried thrusts surrounded them. Hooking his arm under Y/N’s thigh, Joel pulled her from Negan hearing her cry out from the loss of Negan’s lengthy cock from her body.

Glancing between them, Joel teased the swollen tip of his manhood over her clit enjoying the way she purred out. How quickly they all went from being silly to this was impressive. Adjusting his hips, he led his rigid length to her opening allowing her to get comfortable with being filled by his girthy member again.

The moan that escape Joel was louder than he expected. Having her warmth take him in like that and surrounding him again felt so good this morning. Taking a moment to enjoy the way her body clung to his, Joel realized that he was tremoring. Negan was already focused on kissing over the side of her neck while his large palm reached around to cup in over her breast. Squeezing tenderly and kneading at the flesh.

Grasping tightly to her hip, Joel wondered if his fingers would leave a mark, but she didn’t seem to mind the way he was holding onto her. Starting to roll his hips, Joel took his time. Much like Negan had done previously. There was no need to rush things. What was nice was the way she was clinging to him. Getting to be the one to watch her facial expressions in the moment was a gift for Joel. That gave him just as much pleasure as being able to be inside of her.

Truthfully? The thing Joel cared about the most right now was watching her reactions to every move he made. Focusing on how much she liked the way he would move, keeping up with the things that had her a panting mess beside him. Every movement Joel made was determined. Joel’s breathing became broken. The apartment was still quiet, even more so in the room so every thrust he made into her left a wet sound filling the air.

Starting to add strength to his thrusts had her bouncing up and her deep breaths turned to small cries. Grasping her jaw, Negan slurred as he kissed over her jawline, “Does that feel good?”

“Mhmm…” she couldn’t form words watching Negan tap at Joel’s thigh to suggest it was his turn. A loud grunt fell from Joel, his forehead pressing against hers when he pulled his hips back and away from her. Keeping her leg hooked around Joel’s hip had Negan pressing closer to her to lead his erection back into her warmth. It had a moan escaping her that was silenced by Joel’s lips claiming hers in a hungry kiss.

Finding a steady rhythm, Negan grunted against her shoulder. Every movement had deep, forward thrusts into her. Biting at her flesh, Negan pulled her from Joel’s lips and had her kissing him with his tongue brushing out against hers.

“Good fucking girl,” Negan rumbled, putting emphasis to every one of his words with his hard thrusts. Each tug back and push forward of his cock had him stretching her in ways that was making her drunk off of him.

“My turn,” Joel claimed, pulling her from Negan after curling his muscular arm around her. Grasping at his bicep, Y/N’s fingers curled around the flexing muscle looking between them to watch Joel thrusting back into her. This time his movements were a little harder and faster, having her head fall in against his shoulder.

“Fuck,” she pressed her hand in over Joel’s lower abdomen finding herself incredibly sensitive with Negan reaching around to circle his rough fingertips over her sensitive bundle of nerves. Picking up on the fact that she was close to orgasming, Joel’s movements grew more determined with his brow line flexing watching his cock pull and push into her fluidly.

Shuddering and shaking against Joel had Y/N swatting at Joel’s stomach to get him to stop moving after she reached an orgasm from what they were doing to her. Trying to catch her breath had Negan snickering against her flesh.

“I’m in charge. You two are coming. I can’t keep being tossed between the two of you or else I’m going to die,” she insisted shakily moving onto her knees. Motioning Negan to sit up, she had a hard time following him. Everything was tremoring. After last night, she wasn’t sure how she was still able to move at all. Getting Negan to sit down, she pressed into the center of his chest so he could scoot back and rest his back against the headboard. Bracing herself, she crawled in over Negan. Placing her hand over his abdomen, she made sure she wanted to stress her dominance over him. “You’re going to come. You understand?”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan mused with a wicked smile, his thumb dragging out over her bottom lip. Taking his thumb into her mouth, she sucked at the tip of it. After getting comfortable over him, she reached with her free hand to lead his solid cock back into her. Their moans matched each other with her hips lowering down over him. Arching his hips up had her putting a pressure over his abdomen to push him back to the bed.

“What part of I’m in charge did you not understand?” she hissed out, impressing Negan and shocking Joel at the same time. Amused, Joel got up onto his knees moving in beside them.

“It’s all yours,” Negan snickered, throwing his hands up in the air allowing her to start bouncing her hips over his. This was a fun side to see of Y/N, but it also felt very good too. Beside them, Negan could see out of the corner of his eye that Joel had curled his fingers around his own cock. Sheathing it in his grasp, stroking it slowly. “I like when you’re bossy.”

“Of course you do,” she purred taking his cock from tip to base repeatedly working to have Negan come. While it was effecting him? It was doing the same exact thing for her. It gave her an overwhelmingly full sensation that she was sure was enhanced from the night before. Joel’s freehand outstretched to caress over the length of her back adding to the sensation of everything. Winces escaped Negan’s parted lips, his eyelids heavy with desire for her. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, Negan couldn’t help but smile when Joel met her in a hungry kiss.

“Look at you taking control of that big cock,” Negan hissed, his eyes heavy with lust. Pure ecstasy flashed in her eyes, her head tipping back with a cry. Wet smacks matched with the squeaking of the bed with every thrust filtered into the room. “You take it so fucking good sweetheart.”

“I hate this bed,” she announced knowing that if someone was near they would definitely know what they were doing. At least at her house the bed didn’t sound like it was going to break with every thrust they made.

“Everyone is asleep,” Joel leaned over her to pamper her shoulder with wet kisses. The only reason that she would even worry about that was because of the children. That was something she always panicked about when they were together too. Not wanting to be found by the children. Right now? It was so quiet in the apartment that he figured everyone was still exhausted from the travel and walking around the night before. “We would hear if someone was awake.”

“Not the apartment below us,” a wicked smirk pressed in over Negan’s features, liking the glare that she gave him. Groaning out, Negan’s lips parted with her reaching around to caress over his testicles as she rolled her hips over his cock. “Let’s just hope their bedroom isn’t right below ours.”

“That’s not funny,” she braced herself in over Negan who was caressing in over her hips toward her upper back.

“It’s a little funny,” Joel mused getting her to glare at him. Shrugging his shoulders, Joel squeezed at her ass giving it a firm smack. Gasping out, it had her bouncing back and tightening up. A raspy moan fell from Negan’s throat with him grasping to her thighs. Starting to thrust up toward her, Negan sucked at his bottom lip.

“Damn it Negan,” she pouted knowing that she requested having control of the moment. Louds smacks filled the air from Negan’s powerful upward thrusts. Every movement felt amazing. Their broken breaths matched each other and Negan was working hard to build her up. Getting her right to the edge of an orgasm, Negan felt her nails digging into his flesh. Almost immediately, Negan’s movements slowed down taking that orgasm from her. An annoyed sound escaped her with her hitting at the center of his chest. “You dick.”

“You said you were in charge,” Negan reasoned with her, laughing when she softly smacked at the side of his face. Lifting up to meet her in a quick kiss, Negan nipped at her bottom lip and growled. “Go ahead. Come on my cock.”

“You’re done for,” she declared hooking her fingers around the back of his neck. Bracing her other hand against his thigh, she used her strength to pound herself down over his manhood. Smack after smack of their flesh had Negan’s moans growing louder. “Negan…”

“Fucking…fuck,” Negan cussed out, meeting her lips in a heated kiss. Inside of her, he could feel her body contracting around his. By the sounds she was making, there was no question that she was leading herself to an orgasm. Pulling her in close, Negan was meeting her movements with his thrusts. Once she started to come, it had her tremoring against him and the added sensation of a tender caress over his testicles had him resting his chin against Y/N’s shoulder. Joel’s dark eyes were watching closely and Negan realized it was Joel’s added touch. Tossing his head back, the vein at the side of Negan’s neck bulged and her mouth covered his lips when his moans started. Riding him until the very end of his orgasm, she took her time to pull herself from his twitching cock with some of his cum dripping down over his lower abdomen. “Damn woman.”

“Sit down,” she panted looking over to Joel who gave her a single nod. She didn’t have to tell him twice. Sitting at the center of the bed, Joel stretched out his legs. Sliding his hands back allowed him to balance his weight when she shakily moved to him across the bed. Once she started to crawl in over him, it had Joel’s breathing growing louder. Keeping his eyes locked on her, Joel helped her get comfortable over him. Wrapping her legs around his torso, she rest her feet on the bed just behind him. Placing her left hand on the bed behind her had her bracing her weight while her right arm hooked around his shoulders to help her move. Giving him a nod, her lips parted and she dragged her tongue out against her bottom lip. Right now? Her heart was hammering in her body. The room was spinning around her. There was a tingling sensation in the pit of her belly, but she knew the quicker they got this done, the better. “Put it inside of me.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel did as he was told, curling his fingers around the base of his cock. Stroking over the shaft, he made sure he was ready letting his swollen tip enter her with ease. It had her head dropping back, the pleasure in her face clearly evident. At first, she just focused on the tip. Letting it slide into her and then out. Each movement was slow, but it felt so fucking good. “Goddamn.”

“You like that?” she confirmed having Joel lick his lips watching her movements over him. Slow drags over his thick cock had her head tipping back. Behind her Negan was laying stretched out on the bed, his chest rising and falling with him trying to gather his breath. Tipping her head back down, she was in awe of the way Joel’s eyes were hooked on his length moving in and out of her. Pushing forward had more of his rigid body sinking into her and his head dropped back with his eyes coming to a tight close. “You like the way it feels inside of that tight pussy?”

“So fucking much,” Joel immediately responded noticing Negan moving in behind Y/N to allow her to brace herself against him. Hearing her talk like that turned Joel on more than he expected it to. There were undoubtedly innocent sides to her, but when she was naughty? She was very fucking naughty. And every part of him loved it. Caressing his large palms over her breasts had her purring out. Over her shoulder, Negan was watching closely with their bodies moving together in unison.

“You both are so fucking hot,” Negan claimed, turning his head toward Y/N to nip at her earlobe. Growling, Negan’s hand reached out to caress in over her hip and then further down to do the same over Joel’s outer thigh.

Again and again, she took Joel into her with steady fluid motions. Panting, Joel started rolling his hips up toward her desperate for a release himself. And with every movement, he could feel a fire growing deep inside of him. Bracing his weight on his left hand, his thumb on his right hand met her clitoris allowing her to bounce up toward the friction of him caressing her extremely sensitive body.

Winces from Joel matched the moans of Y/N who was silence by Negan kissing her through the moment, “I’m close.”

With the help of Negan, her hips started to move harder and faster over Joel. This surprised Joel. She stressed that she was sore and tired, yet she was doing most of the work. Pressing his head forward, Joel rest his head against the center of her chest. Closing his eyes, he listened to the sounds of her heart pounding and it made him smile. Right at the verge of his orgasm, the sound of a knock on the door had her tensing over him. It had him groaning out, biting at her shoulder to keep himself from making a sound.

“Mom! Can you come out here?” the sound of Elizabeth was at the other end of the door. The color drained from her face and Y/N attempted to pull her hips from Joel. Hearing their child outside the door during their sex-a-thon was not exactly the thing any of them wanted to hear right now. Thank God the door was locked. “It’s important.”

“No, please. I haven’t come yet,” Joel begged in a whisper whining when she pulled her body from his. Once his cock left Y/N’s body, it smacked up against his lower abdomen. It was throbbing, twitching against his flesh desperate for some kind of release. And it ached. Fuck, did it ache. “I’m so close…”

“Being a mom comes first,” she alerted Joel who dramatically dropped back on the bed and covered his eyes in frustration. Barely being able to make it onto her legs, she took a minute to brace herself. Her legs felt like Jell-o, but she got dressed, fixed her hair and then was quick to sneak out of the bedroom leaving Negan and Joel to themselves.

“Fuck,” Joel was incredibly frustrated letting out a wince with the ache that his cock felt. A moment later a gasp fell from his throat with Negan moving in beside him. Swallowing down hard, Negan’s eyes gazed down and he bit on his bottom lip. “Negan?”

“Do you wanna come?” Negan asked causing Joel to groan at the idea. Joel’s chest was rising and falling heavily, his brown eyes locked on Negan’s. Not saying anything else, Joel gave Negan a small nod. Taking that as permission, Negan pressed his body in closer to Joel’s. His left hand pressed in over Joel’s mouth to keep him quiet with his right hand wrapping around Joel’s erection. Not wasting time, Negan’s strokes were firm and steady. Quickly sheathing over Joel’s distended flesh made Joel’s head tip back, his eyes coming to a tight close. Biting back the inexplicable moan that was building up inside of him was hard. Negan’s touch had his hips bouncing up toward it and Joel knew his body was eager for a release. But something else was flooding through his mind in the moment. Grasping firmly to Negan’s wrist had Negan stopping thinking this wasn’t what Joel wanted. “What?”

“Please…” Joel turned his head away from Negan’s palm, panting when he lifted his head enough to look down at his swollen erection.

“Please what?” Negan was quiet in the way he spoke, his hazel eyes confused with what Joel was requesting from him.

“What we talked about last night,” Joel reminded Negan who gave a smirk, his head tipping to the side in amusement. “Finish me off with your mouth?”

“If that’s what you want,” Negan clicked his tongue against the top of his mouth, his eyes narrowing and his eyebrows bouncing up.

There was something in the way that Negan smiled that had chills flooding down Joel’s spine. Turning his body, Negan braced his weight over Joel. The warmth of Negan’s body had Joel sucking in a sharp breath of air. Lazy kisses started at the center of Joel’s chest with Negan looking to Joel for confirmation that he still wanted this. In that moment? He very much did. A lot.

The scratching of Negan’s short beard against his flesh was unlike anything he had felt before, but he didn’t hate it. Gradually each kiss pressed lower and lower until Negan’s wet kisses covered Joel’s hip. Starting to jerk Joel off again, Negan focused his caress at the base of Joel’s cock. Adjusting his weight comfortably, Negan took his time wrapping his lips around Joel’s swollen tip. Almost immediately Joel’s hips bounced up toward Negan eager to have that warmth. Placing his arm out across Joel’s lower abdomen kept Joel locked in place so Negan could work to bring him to that orgasm that Joel pled to have from him.

Keeping his head lifted, Joel watched Negan closely with his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. Twenty four hours ago, this would have never been something he saw happening but watching Negan give him a blowjob had his heart flip flopping. The wet drag of Negan’s tongue over the length of Joel’s shaft made Joel drop his head back. When the warmth of it circled the ridges of the sensitive tip, it had Joel’s left hand dropping against the bed. Squeezing the comforter in his fingers, Joel’s right hand sank into Negan’s dark hair. And the sound that Negan made vibrated against Joel’s cock working up another quiet moan from Joel’s throat. Sloppy kisses were being placed at the length of his body teasing him. So by the time Negan took Joel into his mouth again, Joel was incredibly thankful.

Everything inside of Joel tensed up, his eyes opening up with him staring at the ceiling. Surprisingly, Negan was very good at this. The caress of Negan’s hand over the base of Joel’s cock matched the bobbing of Negan’s head over the tip. Loud breaths were escaping Joel. Badly he wanted to make a sound, but he knew he couldn’t. For all he fucking knew his children were outside the door with his family. Forcing himself to watch Negan again, Joel licked his lips.

“Fuck,” Joel slurred, biting down on his bottom lip in attempts to silence himself. God, it felt fucking phenomenal. And it looked like Negan was enjoying himself while he pleasured Joel too. Maybe it was because he was already on the verge of an orgasm and it was stopped or because Joel had never been with a man before, but every sensation felt enhanced. Something in his brain was telling him that this was wrong, but it felt so…right?

Panting, the muscles in Joel’s stomach were flexing and he thrust his hips up toward Negan’s mouth as much as he could, eager to reach that release he had been cheated from. The swallowing sensation of Negan’s throat around his cock had Joel dropping his head back onto the bed. A rush flooded Joel’s veins with his body arching up toward Negan.

“Fuck,” Joel groaned out loudly once his orgasm hit him with Negan swallowing down his release. Almost immediately, he regretted his response to coming with his body tremoring. The goal was to be quiet and he was not quiet. At all.

----

“What’s wrong?” Y/N rushed out into the living room after leaving the bedroom. Panic flooded her veins. This was not a situation that Y/N ever wanted to find herself in. And that was why she never usually had sex this late into the morning. This was not the kind of behavior that she was used to. There was a fear that Elizabeth knew something. Lifting her stare, Y/N saw that Peter was standing at the second floor looking down at them. His fingers were curled around the railing, his dark eyes following Elizabeth’s worried movements. Fear covered Elizabeth’s face when she returned to the living room. That was not the look that she was expecting. “What’s going on?”

“I can’t find dad,” Elizabeth explained, throwing her hands up in the air. Trying to calm herself, Y/N folded her arms out in front of her chest. Her body was still weak, her heart hammering in her chest and her legs doing their best to carry her weight. Being upset that they couldn’t find Joel was better than knowing what they were doing behind that door. Pretending to be okay and normal was very hard in the moment, but Y/N was doing her best. “I’ve looked everywhere for him.”

“Everywhere ma. He’s not here,” Peter confirmed what Elizabeth was saying, speaking loud enough for them to hear him from the second floor. Elizabeth had headed back toward the entertainment room in search of Joel again as if the second time would have Joel showing up. “Elizabeth woke me up. And I looked everywhere too. Can’t find him.”

“When I checked his bedroom, his cell phone is still there. Plugged in and charging,” Elizabeth stammered, her dark eyes seemingly incredibly worried about where her father was. All of this had Y/N’s throat going dry. How was she going to explain to her children that Joel was in the bedroom she shared with Negan? “His boots were there, his bag…”

“He’s okay,” Y/N tried to assure her children hearing the sound of Peter running down the stairs to join them. She wasn’t lying, she just knew that she couldn’t really elaborate because for some reason she wasn’t coming up with a good lie fast enough. Elizabeth was frantic and she wanted answers now.

“How is he okay mom? If he’s not here, that means he’s out there. It’s snowing. He’s been acting weird this whole trip and…” Elizabeth began to stammer, stressing her worries to her mother. Elizabeth was in the middle of having a meltdown when a loud roar of a groan was heard coming from the bedroom. It was obviously Joel when him cussing followed immediately after. Both of the children froze, their dark eyes looking toward the door that Negan and Joel were behind. “Is…is dad in there?”

“Yeah,” Y/N spoke uneasily knowing how she had just left Negan and Joel moments earlier. And she couldn’t lie. There was no getting out of this one. “Which is why I told you that he was okay. I knew he was. We were in there talking and…”

“Why is dad in your bedroom with Negan?” Peter questioned, his right eyebrow arching up in curiosity and it had Y/N looking back toward the door. Well shit. Why couldn’t she come up with a good enough lie? “Mom?”

“Hey!” Y/N called out with Peter rushing toward the bedroom door to push it open. It had her following Peter who stopped in the doorway when he saw Joel standing at the dresser where Negan’s bag was on top of it. Joel had managed to get his pajama pants back on, but he was still shirtless with his messy hair sticking to his face from the sweat that had formed. Looking around the room, Y/N noticed that Negan wasn’t in sight and she was thankful that Joel was wearing something. “The children were worried about you because they couldn’t find you. And then they just heard you…”

“Oh, I’m okay. I stubbed my toe on the dresser. Hurt like a son of a bitch,” Joel gave a quick smile while digging through Negan’s bag still as if he was looking for something. Out of the corner of his eye, Joel noticed that Y/N was moving over toward the other side of the bed. Joel’s pair of boxers were on the floor and she was casually kicking them under the bed so the children didn’t see it. “I was just looking for a shirt to borrow from Negan.”

“You’re borrowing a shirt from Negan?” Elizabeth repeated when she moved in beside Peter at the door. That wasn’t a lie that she was quick to believe. “You two don’t wear the same kind of things.”

Taking a moment to look around, Elizabeth cleared her throat and shrugged, “Why are you sweating?”

“I was working out in the gym,” Joel lied remembering that this huge fucking apartment had a gym in it. Thankfully, he was quicker on his feet with lying to the children than Y/N was because she was at a loss for words originally. “That’s why I’m borrowing a t-shirt from Negan. I packed like shit before we came here. I just had the one t-shirt. And everything else I had was warm. My tank top that I was wearing got soaked. It was so sweaty that I asked to borrow a t-shirt from Negan. He packed way better than I did.”

“You were working out?” Peter snickered getting a glare from his father. The idea of Joel working out visibly amused their younger child. “You’d rather die than run on a treadmill.”

“I had nervous energy,” Joel snarled hearing his son’s laugh grow louder. Quite a few times lately, his body shape had come up making him kind of self-conscious about it. “I’m not out of shape y’know. My arms are nice.”

Joel flexed his arm bringing attention to his bicep. It had Elizabeth rolling her eyes and Peter still seemed to be entertained, “Well, that’s because you carry a lot of heavy things at work. It’s not like you’ve worked out to really get that way.”

Grabbing one of Negan’s t-shirts, Joel pulled it on, taking a look down at the old rock band t-shirt that was covering his body. Tugging at the bottom had Joel scoffing when he turned to the children and folded his arms out in front of his chest.

“Where is Negan?” Elizabeth wondered taking a look around. The door to the bathroom was slightly open just a crack.

Pointing back toward the bathroom, Joel snapped his fingers and nodded, “He’s in the shower.”

“I don’t hear a shower,” Peter blurt out followed by the sound of the shower turning on. Looking between Joel and Y/N, Peter let out a nervous laugh himself. Right away he was picking up that Y/N and Joel were acting different. “Why are the two of you acting weird?”

“We’re not acting weird, you’re acting weird,” Joel hushed brushing his hands off on his pajama pants when he stepped in closer to the door. “What’s wrong with me borrowing a t-shirt from Negan?”

“Nothing,” Elizabeth shook her head, stepping back and away from the door toward the living room. “I’m just glad you’re okay. When I couldn’t find you and I saw that your room was empty, I panicked. Especially with your cell phone still here and your boots.”

“I’m okay,” Joel assured her with a wink, leaning against the doorframe, the room still spinning around him from what happened. “Nothing to worry about. I promise you if I leave this apartment, I’ll have my phone so you can get ahold of me.”

“I’m gonna go back to bed since you woke me up,” Peter grunted under his breath heading back for the stairs to stomp up them. “It’s too early for me.”

“It’s nine-thirty,” Elizabeth called out to her brother who threw his hands up in the air dramatically.

“Well I don’t want to start moving until at least ten,” Peter declared causing Joel to smirk at his son’s antics.

“I guess I’m going back upstairs to get ready for the day,” Elizabeth looked to her parents and shrugged her shoulders. “Are you two okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” Joel immediately nodded, pointing back toward the bedroom. “I’m going to talk to your mom for a minute, okay?”

Instead of saying anything, Elizabeth just gave him a simple nod eyeing over the both of them suspiciously before heading upstairs. Grabbing a hold of Y/N’s hand, Joel tugged her back into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

“Are they gone?” Negan popped his head out, showing that his hair was wet. What he had done was quickly dipped his head in underneath the spray of the water to ‘prove’ that he was in the shower just in case someone came looking for him. Once he realized they were alone, Negan moved out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped loosely around his hips.

“What the hell happened?” Y/N questioned them having Joel dropping down on the bed and falling back on it. With his silence, Y/N looked to Negan who shamelessly threw his hands up in the air. “Someone? I thought our kids were about to be mortified for life.”

“I came,” Joel grumbled under his breath, his hand placing over the center of his chest trying to catch his breath. There was shock in her eyes when she looked between Joel and Negan. Negan folded his arms out in front of his chest and cleared his throat. “Hard.”

“A lot,” Negan alerted her, lifting his hand to drag his thumb across his bottom lip. Her face twisted with confusion looking between the two of them. Waiting for some kind of answer, she finally gave up and looked to Negan. “I don’t know what he wants me to say.”

“Before our children come back, please someone let me in here,” she half laughed with Joel’s head turning to stare out at her with almost disappointment in his eyes. “What?”

“He had me blow him,” Negan explained, being honest with her. It had her looking back at Negan who shrugged his shoulders. A moment later he was being whipped with a pillow that Joel had just launched at him. “What? I don’t lie to her.”

“Why is that bad?” she leaned down to pick up the pillow that had hit the ground. Tossing it back on the bed had Joel pressing up onto his palms. “I told you last night that didn’t bother me. We were together. All three of us.”

“Stop putting labels on things,” Negan suggested, moving in beside Y/N to hook his arm around her shoulders. “I know your head is screaming you’re straight and you think you’ve done something wrong, but you haven’t. You did what felt good and there is nothing wrong with that.”

“The only thing that was wrong was us thinking it would be okay to have sex in the morning with the children here,” she reiterated what she had thought before all of this started. “We’re lucky that they didn’t figure out what we were doing. God, if they would have walked in on us…”

“Yeah, it would have been a hard thing to explain,” Joel agreed with her, brushing his damp hair out of his eyes. There was so much going through Joel’s mind, but he just found himself lost for words. “I don’t know what to say right now.”

“There’s nothing you have to say,” Negan stressed heading over to sit down on the bed beside Joel. Y/N stepped forward toward the bed, reaching out to grab for Joel’s hand to hold it. “Last night was just us feeling good. Enjoying ourselves. Making her feel good.”

“I’m just disappointed I miss the ending,” she teased Joel with a wink eliciting a huff from him. “It sounded impressive.”

“Maybe we’ll go for a repeat performance,” Negan snickered, getting up from the bed, pointing toward the bathroom. “I should probably take a shower for real. You wanna join me?”

“Don’t push it,” Joel responded with a scoff noticing that Negan was staring down at him. “I should probably go upstairs and shower myself so the children don’t pick up on things. Elizabeth is old enough to be suspicious.”

“See you in a few,” Negan gave a wink, pulling his towel from his body to toss it on the center of the bed as he walked back toward the bathroom.

Leaving Y/N alone with Joel had Joel standing up from the bed. Shakily reaching his hands out, Joel’s thumbs swept in over the sides of her face urging her to him to place a delicate kiss over her lips. The way she looked at him took his breath away when he pulled back. This was the first time in a very long time that she looked at him like that. Maybe this trip wasn’t so bad after all.

Giving her a wink, he backstepped toward the door and moved through the apartment. By now the children were back to their rooms. Unhurriedly he moved up the stairs and stopped when he got to Elizabeth’s room to see that she was sitting on her bed playing on her phone.

“Hey,” Joel called out from the door, his head tipping to the side and resting against the doorframe. When her big brown eyes lifted, Joel gave her a weak smile. “I’m sorry for scaring you. I would never do anything that would take me away from you.”

“I guess I should have known better,” she explained with a long sigh, lowering her phone down enough to give Joel her full attention. “I just got worried when I couldn’t find you. We’re in a new place and everything. I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“I’m okay,” Joel assured her with a wink, nodding over toward his room. “I need to get in a shower, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you. So much.”

“I love you too dad,” Elizabeth called out with a weak smile, lifting her phone back up when Joel headed toward the bedroom.

Inside of his room was a smaller bathroom that made it easy to hop into the shower. Truthfully? He needed that alone time. There were a lot of things going on through his mind. There was a hope that everything would be okay between him and Y/N. The idea of what had happened with Negan was flooding through his mind too.

His thoughts were short lasting by the time he heard the sound of the shower door opening behind him. Before he could react, he felt arms wrapping around his torso and hands caressing up over the center of his chest. Someone cuddled their head in against his back and it made him smile. Reaching for the hands, Joel linked his fingers with theirs and smiled.

“What happened to not wanting the children to be confused?” Joel slurred, bringing one of the hands up to place a kiss over the back of it.

“Your son is face down in his pillows and your daughter is helping Negan make something for breakfast. We’re okay,” Y/N’s voice filled the smaller shower before she started pressing small kisses over Joel’s shoulder. Turning in her arms, Joel loosely grasped to her hips to bring her closer to him under the warm stream of water. Allowing their bodies to press together, Joel lowered down to nuzzle his nose in against the side of her neck. “You’re not going to look at me differently now, right?”

“Why do you think I would look at you differently?” Joel turned in Y/N’s arms, allowing her arms to wrap loosely around his waist. Using his right hand, Joel palmed in over the side of her face and shook his head. “To be fair, I already knew that Negan was having sex with you. And I still wanted you.”

“Yeah, but it’s a bit different when two men share you like that,” she thought aloud, biting down on her bottom lip. With her hands caressing up over the lengths of Joel’s back it made him smile. Here she was asking what he thought about things showing him that his opinion of her meant something.

“All that matters is that you enjoyed yourself,” Joel backstepped into the water bringing her further under the spray with him. Cupping her face tenderly, Joel pressed in to steal a passionate kiss from her lips.

“I think this feels like a good thing,” she suggested, her words vibrating against his lips evoking him to hum against her flesh. “I feel like you’re more relaxed now. Open to things. I think realizing a few things about yourself helped you come to terms with things that maybe you never realized.”

“Which is what?” Joel’s eyebrow arched in a moment of curiosity.

“I just mean with you and Negan…” she started only to be silenced by Joel’s finger sliding in over her lips.

“Don’t,” Joel shook his head, biting down on his bottom lip at the mention of what happened between him and Negan. “Like Negan said, sex feels good. And at the time things just felt natural, but that? That wouldn’t normally happen with me.”

“I don’t know Joel, Negan is pretty appealing and I could see the way you looked at him,” she stammered, recalling how things went down between them both last night and this morning. “I really don’t mind that the two of you might have something there.”

“Who I have something with is you,” Joel declared, drawing out his words in hope of making it clear for her. Tipping her head made Joel scoff since she was no doubt still thinking about him and Negan. “Do you want me to get with Negan? Leave you alone while we run off together?”

“Knock it off,” she laughed, shoving her hand into his chest getting his back to press against the wall of the shower. “I’m just saying it’s okay to open yourself up to the idea that you might like things you’ve never realized before. I for one thought it was hot.”

“Well I’m glad we could entertain you for the time being,” the bridge of Joel’s nose wrinkled with him caressing up over her sides. “But, my heart belongs to you.”

There was a silence between them with her eyes contemplating what he just said. Everything seemed to weigh heavy on both of them. Even though they both very much enjoyed what happened, they both had their worries that they weren’t really stressing.

“Please don’t let this make things get weird between us,” she begged of Joel, exhaling loudly caressing her hands down over the lengths of his torso before rising again.

“Make things weird?” Joel muttered, his head tipping to the side not sure where she was going with that comment.

“I just don’t want this to ruin what is good about us. You know?” she stammered, attempting to look away from Joel, but he curled his finger in underneath her chin to get her to lock eyes with him. “We’re good co-parents. There were a lot of things I liked about us that I just don’t want to see go south. So just promise me you won’t let get things weird.”

“Things aren’t going to get weird,” Joel hushed her, an amused rumble escaping his lips. Desperation flooded into her features and he knew that she wanted that promise. “I promise that I won’t let things get weird between us.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, tipping up on her toes to press a quick kiss over Joel’s lips. After she did that it felt like maybe she was about to leave the shower so he hooked his arm around her. Spinning her carefully, he pressed her back against the shower wall. Hooking his arms under her thighs, Joel grunted when he picked her up in his arms. “Joel?”

“Can you keep yourself quiet?” Joel wondered, his nose nuzzling in against hers. Capturing her lips in a heated kiss, Joel closed the distance between them. Hooking her arms around his broad shoulders caused her to let out a tremoring breath.

“The question is can I walk if you do what I think you’re thinking about doing,” she breathed against his lips, provoking a muted laugh to fall from him. Pressing his forehead to hers, Joel swallowed down hard and gave her a nod. “You might need to carry me Joel.”

“Then I will,” Joel’s southern drawl grew thick with a big smile tugging at his handsome features. “I’ll carry you everywhere if I have to.”

----

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