#LIKE HE CRIED?????? i love them so fucking bad
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every insane thing in arcane season 2 act 3
ep 7 was a masterpiece truly took me out
lowk really funny the way they cut from the happy, (almost) perfect world au to jayce hallucinating and eating raw meat
TIMEBOMB CANON????? lowk didn't see the appeal of it UNTIL NOW WTF WAS THATTTTT
au powder MY GIRLLLLL
dude they yassified silco in the au too. i'm hearing y'all out this time.
HEIMER???? he was such a real one bro
jayce hallucinating mel and viktor and the two of them being interchangeable/intertwined in his mind. which could mean nothing.
also on that note i KNEW everyone was too quick to judge my boy jayce GOD what an interesting character
the "pretend like it's the first time" thing kind of killed me a bit i might've cried a little
it really just proves WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALLLLLL
killing IS a cycle
jinx w her hair out was something i didn't know i needed
caitlyn and jinx's dynamic is SO YUM i need more of their tense interactions
caitvi argument like five mins into the episode lowk gave me life I LOVE ANGST
jinx and vi continue to kill me slowly
everyone who ever said vi gave up on jinx or was a bad older sister i hope u guys CHOKE on ur fucking words
caitvi sex scene...in a jail cell...bro they were wildin
"i saw someone" "i don't fucking care" SUCH A VI THING TO SAY GODDDD I LOVE THEM
they have sm chemistry god
somehow they made mel's character design even more gorgeous than before tf
viktor was lowk wildin but i don't really care i love that man
ngl i was kinda like "viktor baby what ru doing" somewhere in there but i knew they'd work it out
"i'll miss our talks" "no you won't" HAHAHAHHA SKY'S A REAL ONE
jinx boutta khs and then ekko stops her FOAMING AT THE MOUTHHHHH THEY DESERVED MORE SCREENTIME TOGETHER
i knew maddie was sus.
jayvik canon jayvik canon jayvik canon jayvik canon
honestly it would've been less gay if they kissed
everyone is DOOMED oh my god
jinx swooping in to save the day WHO ELSE CHEERED
lowkey i miss her twin tails but i get why she cut them
JINX AND VI FIGHTING TOGETHER AGAIN UGH SISTERHOOD
"i'm always with you sis" IT REALLY IS ABOUT THEM IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT THEM
i actually don't think jinx is dead that scene w cait and the air vents isn't there for no reason
not mad about the open ending tho
SO impressed how they managed to tie so many loose ends together arcane creators you will always be famous
again love the fast pace it does it for me
also cait was looking SO FINE in that last scene i actually gasped when i saw her on screen i love women oh my god
shoutout to caitvi for being the ONLY couple that gets a happy ending in this fucking show
ekko MVP GIVE MY MAN HIS BREAD
#anyway i'll need a solid ten business days to recover don't speak to me#losing it#boutta crash out#arcane#vi arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season two#caitvi#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#timebomb#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#mel medarda#zoe yaps
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Ekko loves Jinx. He loves every side of her even if he can’t get the name right. He wonders why it’s a struggle to accept her as Jinx until she’s gone and it hits him.
Guilt. It’s guilt that made him unable to let go. It’s guilt for his people. If he accepted as Jinx, and loved her anyway, he would’ve been a failure to them. He wouldn’t have been able to look them in the eyes as he fought to protect them.
Powder’s still in there was code for I’m not a bad person for wanting her. It maybe why he was so angry he wouldn’t let him call her that. Jinx wanted him to remember her crimes. Jinx needed him to see her for who she was.
He gets why she stayed with Silco. He was an awful man but at least he cared for her enough to respect the person she wanted to be. Ekko had been ashamed to love her.
‘Hey, I know we were meant to have this big talk after the battle but I can’t. I’m tired of talking. We run around in circles. Powder, Powder you say and I say I’m Jinx and you give those big eyes and I feel shitty for being me and you feel shitty because I’m me. I can’t do that. So, I’m just gonna listen to Silco. I’m going to end the cycle. He came to me the other day talking about being brave enough to end cycles or some nonsense. He talks too much. I guess it’s finally time I listen. Kinda owe him one time seeing as I killed him.
Ekko, do you ever wonder what we could’ve been? I do. Not all the time. I’m not that crazy but I do. It reminds me of how fucked and jinxed I am and your stupid big eyes and I just can’t do this anymore. It would’ve been easier if you just killed me.
So, no big talk. Instead, I’m ending the cycle. I’m going to this place I heard about from Vander when he was still kicking around. Maybe if we met there things would’ve been different.’
Ekko.hates when he finds the letter stuffed in his things at the lab. He thinks how he thinks of it as their lab but it’s not. It’s all hers and she’s gone. Vi said she didn’t make it. He cries for what feels like hours. He leaves and can’t will himself back to their shared space.
He misses her so much. Everything reminds him of her. His feet take him back to their lab and he’s ready to mourn her all over again when he sees a letter that wasn’t there before. In large pink ink, the top read She Lives.
He flicks it open and the first lines make him chuckle. ‘I just can’t seem to die. So, the world is stuck with me. The world is stuck with me but that doesn’t mean I have to be stuck here. I doubt you’d like to come with. I’m scared you’d say no. So, I’ve gone on ahead. I’m going to check out this place here. If I miss you, which let’s face it, you most likely aren’t gonna come, I’ll leave a note on where I’ll head next. It’ll be like a game.’
Ekko hates how excited he is she’s alive. He hates the idea of not telling Vi or anyone. He tells Scar though. Ekko’s packing a bag and he tells Scar “she made it. I’m going. Things are covered here and ya got this and I’m going and-“
“Good. Go.” Scar understands. “Come back once you both are ready.”
“I… thanks.”
Ekko follows behind her. Some stops, he knows he just missed her. Everyone tells him stories about her and he reads her letters. He cries some nights looking them over. She leaves a photo behind for him. The back reads ‘look at me! I’m finally putting on some pounds. Maybe I’ll finally grow boobs.’ She looks beautiful.
Their messages are a one way street. She can talk to him but he can’t talk to her. It must be justice for all the times he shut her out when he wanted to speak to Powder and only got Jinx. Ekko buys a notebook on the way to the third town. He wants to write down his thoughts to share later with her.
It’s almost two years and he’s just missed her more times than he could count. He wonders if she’ll ever slow down enough to let him catch her. From her letters, it sounds like she’s scared he isn’t coming. He hates that she’s no faith in him. Of course he’s coming. He loves her.
It finally happens. He finally sees her in person and there’s no way she’s getting away, unless she runs. He really hopes she doesn’t run.
“Ekko.”
And that’s it. He’s never letting her out of sight again.
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joe talking about the guitar gift from marie 🥹💘
#LIKE HE CRIED?????? i love them so fucking bad#joe trohman#also he says later that he calls it sanders bc when he and his wife met she told him to guess her last name#and he guessed sanders. and so the name he’s given to the guitar is a tribute to meeting his wife 😭💘💘💘💘#love forever n ever#he is so romantic and loving and sweet and he is the wife guy of fob. I'LL SAY IT!!!!!!!!!!#yes i love rpf yes im a crazy joegirl and YES MARIE AND JOE MAKE ME FUCKING CRY we exist#my post#fave joe
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sorry but do you ever think about the fact that the bernard we have today is a direct amalgamation of everything that happened in his past and i know that sound like such an obvious statement to say but it actually kills me to know that you can draw a direct line from who he is today all the way back to that sixteen year old boy who watched his best friend bleed out. like it is the defining moment in his life. it fundamentally shaped who he is and the person he's become. he is the bernard we know and love not despite the grieves shooting but because of it. because the gangs all got together and shot up his school. because tim walked out of that room with nothing but a baseball bat. because his darla got shot. because he watched her gasp and cry as she died. because he watched the blood coagulate around the wound. because he sat there and held her hand as her life drained out of her. because he walked into school that day with a joke he knew would make her laugh and her nose would scrunch up and she'd snort a little and tim would roll his eyes at him and call him ridiculous and instead he walked out with a bloody white shirt, blood under his fingernails, and two friends less. because, even now, almost half a decade out from the shooting, he thinks that if he closes his eyes, he will always be that stupid, scared little sixteen year old, holding the cooling body of dead best friend.
#there is a direct throughline from the boy we meet in robin 121 all the way to man tim reconnects with in urban legends 4#like maybe you guys have other interpretations of it but to me this is *the* defining moment in his life#and that's not to say that he perpetually bound to this traumatic event but it impacted him sooo much that his life is now divided#before shooting and after shooting#like you cannot tell me him falling into the cult was just something that happened to him#it happened bc he was in such a bad place from watching his friend die and then on top of that he loses contact with tim!!!!#this is his canon event!!!!#if you took it away from him if you made it so that he never had to go through it#the bernard we would get would not be the same bernard we got in urb leg4 and tdr#does it not make you want to chew on drywall that to get to the bear we love he has watch his darla die first????#head in hands head in hands#and it wasnt like batman came immediately after darls died!!! iirc they had to wait a little before he came#which means!!!!! alll those kids but bear esp had to sit in that room with darls' dead body until batman came!!!!!#do you think he cried and held her hand until batman came??? do you think he begged her not to go??? or do you think he told her#stories and made promises of all the things they were gonna do after they got out??? do you think he put pressure on the wound and#watched as the blood soaked through the jacket they were using as a towel??? and when she finally passed do you think he bit his lip#clean through to stop himself from wailing? bc if he's too loud the gunmen will hear them and he cannot be the reason jay from#history dies#auuuugh i cant fucking do this anymore#bernard dowd#timbern#darla aquista#louis grieve trio
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Abigail is not 100% innocent. Even I will admit to that. But to say these things are mental and is reducing her character to just her father's daughter, which you're not meant to do.
First of all, we have no idea how long Garret Jacobs was abusing her or showing a fascination for murder. However it's clear that for however long, it clearly affected her. You'd think from these comments that she showed no emotions for her victims but she does. And it's very clear that she does.
She's scared and nervous when approaching Elise, knowing what will happen to her if she doesn't. Her dreaming that Elise was a deer was not because she didn't care. In fact it's the complete opposite. We see how shaken she is after killing the animal and then talks to her dad about how they're "as smart as a four year old", " they tread lightly because they don't want to hurt the plants." Here she is, with her murderous father, begging for him to understand that this animal had a soul, had feelings and a family, much like the girls do, and all he can say is "we won't waste any part of her."
And the comments about her age really annoy me. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say they're probably young teens, but you don't magically turn responsible and mature once you hit 18. She's dealing with a lifetime of psychological abuse, years of keeping insane secrets from everyone in her life. Now both her mother and father are dead. A man who she was terrified of, but still loved because she knew no different than him. And now she's the only person to keep those secrets. So god forbid she cries every now and then because there is not one singular person in the world she can fully trust.
Furthermore, she's manipulative because she has to be. Everyone is out to get her in some shape or form so she has to put a guard around herself. And the moment she does allow herself to be vulnerable, to put her trust in someone, he fucking kills her! "You fell for the trap too babes." No, you just can't realise that she's doing it out of necessity, not because she wants too. You fell for the way the media likely portrayed her, a willing accomplice to her father's crimes, and not some extremely fucked up kid who was taught that pain and murder is a sign of affection.
And don't even get me started on "I just felt bad for Will" because he's literally worse than her. At least she's explicitly shown to have never enjoyed murdering people. Hypocrites.
GET A W A Y FROM HER. GET. AWAY.
#on todays episode of “sleep deprived rambles”...#god i hate how some of the fandom talks about her#abigail hobbs#hannibal#hannibal nbc#nbc hannibal#hannibal meta
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so many thoughts but i CANNOT stop laughing that all that time we thought louis had some elaborate mind control type reason for staying with armand and it was really just.. HIM TRYING TO MAKE HIS EX JEALOUS SLSKSKKSKSKS
#never fucking change loustat i literally can't believe this is sp fucking funny#too sleepy to voice out my other thoughts but LMFAO mann best fucking ep ever#iwtv spoilers#when he said 'this is your death lestat' and kissed armnad I DIED LAUGHING PLS 💀💀💀💀#also real lestat is an angel ive seen him for lile 5 secs amd im already irrevocably in love with him#also jacob saying daniel is like an annoying little brother of louis haha im fine okay okay okay okay okay#i am going to rewatch the whole ep in the morning and have some coherent thoughts then goodnight#btw lestat cried about claudia he said she looked at him like he was her father she needed saving but he never was 😭😭😭#and louis FORGAVE HIM FOR IT. fucking FINALLY#and then jacob saying i strongly one hundred percent believe that lestat would've saved claudia if he had the energy#btw i can't believe armand was okay with louis dying i literally don't understand him at all all this time i thought he wanted to be alone#with louis but now huh???? i need to dissect his brain like a frog i swear#ALSO jacob saying we'll never know the words said between loustat at the end only me and sam know them they'll stay between us#GOD they're so down bad for eo and their characters i fucking love them sooo much#okay promise bye now
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i finished season 4 of TUA and i just cried for a few minutes?? not even how the showrunners intended i was just so UPSET at how they ended it??
it was so fucked up for the ending to basically be "everything you've done to grow and change was pointless because your existance is the problem. the only solution is literally kill yourself" and then they die?? cease to exist?? they just looked us in the eyes and said the rest of the show does not matter because in the end none of it even happened
i'm just so fucking upset? this show meant a lot to so many people and i personally thought of it as like this message of 'hey! you can always be better and you will always be loved!!' and just a realistic (minus the powers LMAO) fucked up family dynamic??
and then they switch on us and say 'actually no you were never really loved and you should die because you can't fix anything' ????
i hated that they split up after everything they went through, they didn't have to live together but fuck they could've seen each other more often?? lived closer?? (viktor.)
idk. seasons 1-2 were peak. maybe unpopular opinion but i liked season 3 as well, i'm not usually very critical of TV shows and i didn't have a lot of issues with it. season 4 feels like i just got run over by a train and then shot in the chest
#yea maybe i did project onto this show#yeah maybe i did use it as an allegory for being queer#and finding acceptance in those you love#and a representation of unconditional love#they ruined five so fucking bad holy shit#he did everything for his family before this#why would he actively work to hurt them#i cried so hard when diego and five fought#like no!! they love each other!! stop!!!#🙁🙁🙁🙁#sad fucking face#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy season 4#tua season 4#tua s4#tua spoilers#tua
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...
#viktor just turned his body into the arcane and you dont even know!!! his leg is purple!!!!#im not going to excuse vi for saying the kid knew what he was getting into bc he didn't bc he is a kid (here we have ms. projector)#but telling jayce he has always been complicit of this he just didnt have to see it... yeah exactly.#and like she obviousky regrets the kid dying but it was jayces fault lmao why does he blow up on her??? the name calling got to him#jayce thinking omg he is going to off himself and viktor just trying to hide the evidence of his murder akdhsksj well yes he does want to...#i was wondering why the council was so Flabbergasted about the nation of zaun?? like they dont care and basically dont intervene#in the undercity bc they don't have any interest or profit in there. they don't gain anything at all from there.#so of course when silco asks jayce says sure fuck it. the only thing the council needs from zaun is the gemstone and its not even theirs#it's probably just fear of agression towards piltover as another nation and not something they can control or repress#silcos reaction to cait being wheeled in akdhaksj it sounds like he said 'what' he probably didnt know the girlfriend part... understandable#i forgor about her bringing the platter out... like ofc i didnt forget it but i didnt see it coming there. with bad memory you can be#surprised every time you watch the same show 👍🏻#i haven't cried because well the foruth time is a stretch now to cry but i still got chills at the end with the missile impacting....#and like whay would have happened if cait didn't free herself.... like ofc she would have bc everyone in that room could have killed her#not vi etc etc but she did just leave her so who knows really#anyways the monsters appearing in jinxs vision when vi mentions her past family is so poignant to her change.... they dont have the intended#reaction vi meant.... and silco is trying to shut her up for jinx's sake and look what happened to him. like vi really couldn't understand#her sister now and maybe back then either.... like not to be a silco apologist but it seems like he was the only one who could handle her#maybe im exaggerating but it would have gone wrong either way i think like no matger how much love there is in between them#idk man its so bad. like maybe this could have been avoided but it would have gone wrong in a different way for sure#and this couldn't have been avoided#talking tag#watching arcane#three weeks away still.... what now....
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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detective comics #509
[ID: Bruce Wayne sleeping in his penthouse, his eyes squeezed shut as the narration reads, ‘Gordon's strained laugh sounds hollow, but it echos in the Batman's mind... and haunts his dreams...” Bruce awakens to a hand on his shoulder and before he can think, he's twisting it and holding it down. The panel expands, revealing the hand belongs to Alfred as he's almost toppling over! He cries out, “M-master Bruce—my arm!” as Bruce groggily realizes who it is. He lets go at once as Alfred moves to the end of the bed and holds his arm while stammering an apology, “S-sorry, s-sir... Sorry if I startled you.” Bruce looks at him with aghast as he cries out, “My god, Alfred—I almost broke your arm!” Alfred reasons, “You must have been having a nightmare, sir.” as Bruce sits up and puts his face in his hands. He weepily dismisses, “A nightmare—what kind of an excuse is that? Old friend... forgive me...” Alfred reassures, “Nothing to forgive, sir. Just bad nerves, sir.” END ID]
#THIS ONE !!!!#bruce and his neverending guilt complex#just immediately regretful and so apologetic as alfred is quick to reassure and dismiss it#holding his arm because of fucking course it still hurts but when bruce lifts his head he stops ....#always thinking of how he was a caretaker for bruce since he was a small child/infant and how many little things bruce does now will remind#alfred of those days#he likes his grilled cheese q certain way. he cries if he thinks he hurt someone. he blames himself for a lot. he gets bad nightmares#like so much has stayed the same as so much continues to change but the love and care thry have for each other is always there#(<- guy who is always number one in bruce is disabled and needs a caretaker but also in how the people around him know bruce loves and cares#about them. its not about not being loved its about how heavy his love is and how bruce will subconsciously use his love to harm himself#(from blaming himself to his parents murders and jason's future death to something as simple as this and how he'll beat himself up#for hurting alfred and not able to protect him as well from himself)#(like his mental illness is forever using his stupid bleeding heart against himself as a reason for why hes awful)#this is all fully sidetracked im just fucking wired today sorry lol#but while im talking and something more related to the panel itself::#after this line bruce looks up and says ‘the batman suffering from bad nerves? lets hope not. gordon can worry about the election but i#cannot afford to. still its not just the campaign. lately so many other things are pressuring me—mostly as bruce wayne’#and like !!!!#it wasn't about batman! it wasnt about his burdens and responsibilities!! alfred was telling HIM. BRUCE. that its okay#and bruce automatically ‘its not because batman cant behave like this’ like !!!!#batman is the priority in the sense of he thinks he needs it to protect people. even his family even alfred and every single stranger#he won't ever allow himself any grace even while sleeping because batman cannot afford those ‘slips’#just GOD 70s/80s batman makes me insane for forever and ever amen#c: detective comics | i: 509#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#alfred & bruce#‘awake or asleep—it scarcely matters anymore. the nightmare never seems to end.’#<- nightmare bruce tag <333
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Mmm actually I think we do owe love and care to our loved ones! We do owe each other things sometimes! There is a duty of care in our relationships that we should do our very best to uphold. It's the basis for human connection? An informal agreement we have with someone dear to us that we will support and cherish them and not just when it's easy and in the ways that feel effortless to us but also in the ways that they feel most loved.
We owe each other consideration. We owe each other a chance to chime in on important things and we should not make unilateral decisions. We owe each other reassurance sometimes too! Gasp!
I know that we're unlearning our generational trauma collectively but what's the point if we draw such hard boundaries around ourselves that nobody is let in, and nobody is helped, loved or considered when they really need it?
What is the point of being connected to another human being if it's understood between the two of you that if shit hits the fan, they are loyal only to themselves and you can get fucked?
I get it. We need to be self-sufficient. We can't rely on someone to the point of falling apart when they leave the house. But entering into a relationship or close friendship (or nurturing our existing familial relationships that are healthy) is a declaration that we CAN but don't WANT to be 100% self-sufficient anymore. We'd like to outsource a portion of our bandwidth to the other person. And in exchange, we take on some of theirs. It can't be rainbows all the time: again, most of us are traumatized by our parents in some way. We have behaviours that make us unpleasant sometimes! But why does that necessarily mean that we cut each other off when we show symptoms? When we actually need to cash in on some support the most? Where pray tell lies the nuance between "cut off abusive people who have no intention of changing" and "sometimes our loved ones can act ugly on the road to healing, but as long as they commit to bettering themselves I will see them through it"???? Does the latter not exist at all?
The act of caring and being cared for is one of the only fucking things we have left that can sustain our hearts in this bleak world. If you don't want to be burdened with the expectation of reciprocation in your relationships then what is the point of seeking connection? You are missing a fundamental fucking variable.
#personal#we need to be able to lean on people and feel them bend but not break#i think that kind of acceptance is healing to our inner children abused by the boomer generation#they didn't accept us for shit#and now we perpetuate their work for them! nice!#there's no loyalty or resilience in relationships anymore people see others as easily replaceable#i remember my ex coldly telling me that he didn't "want to be responsible for [my] feelings at all anymore”#as a hard boundary of his and ultimatum to the relationship#& i was floored#that is such a general and broad statement!! everything we do has the potential to affect each others' feelings!!!!#what do you mean you want no responsibility for my emotional wellbeing as my partner are you quite alright SIR??????#and at the time i just cried and nodded because I was too afraid to lose him#I felt bad bc my cptsd made me really needy sometimes so i felt it was fair at the time#even though my intuition screamed at me that this was wrong wrong wrong#I did not deserve to be treated by both my mother and partner like they owed me nothing but like i owed them everything#i was supposed to be infinitely patient and understanding in the face of both abuse and neglect#we owe our loved ones care! & they owe it to us! If dynamics need to be adjusted the have that discussion#but if you don't want to be accountable to anyone but yourself then go live in the fucking woods lmao
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i know i’ve said that being able to do the stereotypical insane ao3 authors notes is fun and amusing to me but can the universe NOT take that as a challenge to add more shit to my list of things to add next time i post ???? like. fucking. Calm Down Please.
#situations keep happening and i am TIRED#had to restrain a kid at work today which was AWFUL but he was trying to run into the road so i literally had to#almost cried bc of it but got the situation under control#but then when on my way to meet w coworkers to carpool to a meeting#my tire popped#super fun times super awesome super great#i mean my mom helped and we got it all fixed and handled#but basically from noon to like 6pm my mom and i were dealing w it bc everything had to be COMPLICATED#so i only just got home like 45 mins ago ish and i am SO tired holy fuck#but im eating left over orange chicken and then gonna shower and then just gonna be lazy and read and maybe write#if i have the brain power i will work on hb chp17#but i also have a 4 hour training for work tomorrow so yeehaw#its 12:30-4:30 which isnt that bad but still#im also going to my dads afterwards to stay the night and visit him and my siblings#which is a good thing dont get me wrong i love visiting them#it just means i wont have a lot of freetime this weekend to work on writing and cleaning and stuff#not the end of the world and definitely worth it to see my dad and my baby siblings#but i wish it was a 3 day weekend so i could also have a day to just stay home and do things that i havent had the time to do yk#oh well. tis life. adulthood. having to handle situations and finding the best out of shitty circumstances. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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i am the poisoned blood running through my tired veins
#personal#ITS SO MOT FUCKINH FAIR.#since he hates me now i dont care if he sees this and im pretty sure i fucking blocked the reat of them so idontfucking care#i hate all kf them so much and i dont fucking care how bad they hurt. i hurt too#for some INSANE REASON i was the only oke that had to apologize. why did they never apologize .#they know they hurt me. He knkws he hurt me.#when j say this they think im selfish. they can think what they want.#byt jts fucking crazy to act like im the only one tjat did anything wronh#i fucking admitted i was wrong. but it wasnt enough. notjing is ever enough for them!#if He ever tries to text me again im not responding. it was stupid of me to respons.#i wonder what he would say if he knew that i chose ro respond by chance of a coin flip#if it had landed on tails i wouldnt be making this post.#he cares more than i do. i dont have the luxury of caring.#he says “i led him on” but if he wanted skme speicodx kind of love fucking say skmething#i didnt knkw i was supposed to be differenr. if he had said that from the dtart i never would have agreed.#i didnt want to change for him.#he shouldve been different and he shouldve been better#i shouldve been too. but atleast i can admit ghat#what the fuck do you mean when you say you understand why j do what you do and uou get it so deeply#but then you still leave. does rhat mean you understand how much you hurt me that first time#it barely hurts anymore. but i cried four times last nigjt#now i dont feel it and now i dont care. youll never knkw little i can let myself care#ill distract myself until i forget all about you because i csnt let myself feel any of this#i dont care if im not changjng the way you begged me to. thats not an option rigjtnmow#im still fighting to stay alive. i dont know that you understand what thats like#you say you get it. i tjink you just say that#you loved me and i dont like that. i warned you and you dwatted my warning away#how is that all my fault.#how is all of this my fault.#💭
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The way that Stede treated Izzy during episode 3 were some of the ONLY times I could stand seeing Izzy on screen so far this season because it finally felt like someone who recognized him and was treating him rationally tbh
I adore this show and the people who worked on it, but ffs, it feels like they all enjoyed Con too much and the Izzy-Enjoyers Fanon of his character last season and jumped the gun on his redemption arc.
I'm going to go through and explain this more, but I just wanted to put that out there first while I lay out why Stede's expressions and reactions make so much more sense coming out of season 1's events.
#Cae Has Lots of Feelings About Our Flag Means Death#I love you Jim#But Izzy was everyone's least favorite guy pre-mutiny attempt#And the crew didn't like him much even after#So why is he 'our dick' and a member of our family all of a sudden?#'Life used to mean something on this ship.'#Sure. I'll give you that. But Izzy was the guy who continuously refused to participate in that 'life that meant something' back then.#And though Ed is contributing the lion's share of abuse in S2 - it's so weird to just forgive him when no apologies have been made#Idk. I know I'm not an Izzy-Enjoyer so it's not catered to me.#I know some people are excited this is how it's working out.#Good for them.#But I really really wish we could have seen more animosity between them as he came to realize he fucked up.#As the crew came to realize he realized he fucked up and he's in a bad position too.#But we just skipped right over to 'We can give him therapy and hold his hand while he cries and save his life against our captain's orders'#It's tbh jarring and I think I'm just going to have to try and divorce Izzy S2 from Izzy S1 in my mind if I'm going to have any peace#Our Flag Means Death#OFMD#Our Flag Means Death Season 2 Spoilers#Our Flag Means Death Spoilers#OFMD Spoilers#OFMDS2#OFMD s2 spoilers#Izzy Hands#Israel Hands#Stede Bonnet#The Gentleman Pirate#Jim OFMD#Jim Jimenez#Izzy Critical
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Whos yumeno
this whole ass birthday queen
#snap chats#all this shit really happens on her birthday jesus christ. ig also masatos but this aint bout him#masato so valid for getting evil depressed over her tho she's mad pretty idc i said what i said#fucking. quick-ass blurb ig yumeno's the girlfriend/wife of juro horinouchi who worked at the hostess club masato frequented#she was masato's favorite hostess and other hostesses would refer to the two endearingly and like they loved each other#they generally didnt seem to have any bad feelings towards them but They Are At Work so. cant exactly call a guy a weirdo to his face#it all changes when masato eavesdrop on yumeno and horinouchi chastising him for spending so much money on yumeno and selling his gifts#and then after that we never see her again bye queen i'll remember you at least#she's mentioned later at the end of the game when aoki relays to ichi he went to horinouchi's promotion party before becoming governor#and she thought aoki was a respectable and sophisticated individual. then aoki has his joker moment and cries against the lockers but anywa#yeah thats her. thats yumeno
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