#LIKE HE CRIED?????? i love them so fucking bad

[t1ts-4-donaldson]

Aftersun Art Donaldson and Lily

Art didn't want things to be this awkward, the entire ordeal was tragic. 

He remembers the day she was born, the entire 9 months leading to her birth and dreams of what she would be like before Tashi ever got pregnant. He always wanted a girl he was made to raise, one being the only man in a predominantly woman centered family he adored the familiarity of it all.

The excitement of finding out she was a girl, his little girl. Nights preparing her nursery, reading and annotating parenting books, joining birthing classes and following daddy and me facebook pages for any help he could find. Reality kicked in when he was able to pick her name. Lily, his grandmother's favorite flowers.

Tashi had the choice for her middle name and allowed Art to decide her first, he wanted to do something in homage to his grandmother and she respected that. He treasured helping Tashi during those 9 months dropping tennis entirely focusing on her well being and the little life inside her was the happiest he'd been in years.

the best day of his life was the day she was born, 9AM her healthy wails ringing through the room after a torturous overnight stay at the hospital Tashi spitting curses that she wouldn't ever do this again crescent indents in the skin of his hand while he was on the verge of passing out barely able to breathe when he watched her come into the world

He’s so fond of the memory, whisking her from Tashi’s arms once she falls asleep. He sobbed silently, rocking her back and forth in his arms “I love you so much” he cried tears of joy slipping down his cheeks grazing his fingers through her curls "I'm always going to take care of you sweet heart” a watery laugh leaving his lips cooing as she sneezed. Tashi woke to his shirt unbuttoned Lily sound asleep against his bare chest 

“Art, why?” she squinted curiously

“I just want to be close.. Want her to know it’s me.” 

she smiled fondly “you’re both going to be perfect for one another.” 

He was on the court faster than he wanted to be, it led to missing dance recitals and spelling bee’s having to leave mid-day tea parties needing to make up hours practicing.

the idea popped up after looking through his old photos on the beach visiting Santa Barbara with his parents and Patrick, the memory bringing a smile to his face but sadness followed, could he make his daughter happy?

family trips weren’t out of the ordinary and she's seen most of the world majority of the time trapped in locked hotel rooms, or watching her dad on tv screens at home with babysitters sat beside her 

she always cringed at their statements and gossip through hushed phone calls when they thought she wasn’t listening, “her dad’s really fucking hot, wonder what it’d be like to fuck both of them” they’d snicker sifting through family photos and picture frames, it made her nauseous and angry. 

her meltdowns were bad at first gripping onto her fathers torso for dear life begging not to go, asking why he’s leaving her for so long, that this isn’t fair and insisting that he doesn’t love her 

“no” he replied sternly “this is my job baby.. I need to do this, it makes me happy,” he’d lie knowing Tashi was lingering nearby not wanting to disappoint her too. 

So she got used to always watching her parents from a distance, happily accepting nicknacks given to her from their trips but resenting them after a while, stuffing snow globes, key chains and stuffed animals in drawers going as far as breaking them. It was all a reminder of loss too much for her little heart to bare. She adored Art and Tashi but with time the loneliness got to her and he could tell, the notion killed him. 

Here they were now cruising the Bahamas both spread on lounge chairs sipping virgin pina coladas

"Lily, are you having fun?" He asks and she nods silently observing the perusing guests ice cream dripping down her cone coating her hand. 

“Can we go to the pool later?” She glanced over at her father “of course bug need to clean up though” he sits up wiping her vanilla coated cheeks she shooed him away avoiding his touch.

“I can do it” she grumbles, snatching the rest of the napkins out of his hand wiping herself down. Her obvious disdain stung. “Just wanna help you..” he frowns 

“I know dad you don’t need to for some stuff though” she huffs through clenched teeth the sticky residue not subsiding her frustration.

She could be so mean, her scorn towards him cut like a knife, he wanted to chastise her, spite her but he bit back any insult he came up with racking his brain through so many memories wondering where he went wrong hell maybe he made her this way. 

He bleakly sat back “We haven’t talked about school, I heard how well you did at your piano recital grandma said you got a standing ovation I believe it” He pried hoping some sort of fond reaction from her “didn’t you get an award too-?”

“you weren’t there so you wouldn’t know” she interrupts bitterly slightly shaking her head at his ignorance

Art shrinks, slumping his shoulders watching her shrug off his advances “well you know I love you bug” she nods rolling her eyes completely unconvinced.

“Sure” she sighs, staring off at the other kids her age. “I’m gonna go” she stomps off, dumping the custom made booklet he made about their trip in the trash.

He pursed his lips turning away unshed tears blurring his vision hidden behind shaded sunglasses.

The week passed and the hollowness slowly stripped away from her, he observed from a distance watching her flip through excursion magazines, snorkeling, swimming with dolphins, karaoke bars and hiking through jungles and coves all slowly amounting onto a little list she created late at night when he was asleep. He checked every box accomplishing everything just like she wanted. 

The last night of their holiday Don’t Dream It’s Over by Crowded House blared through the speakers after dinner 

“dad no..” she hissed embarrassed by all the prying eyes staring at them.

“Come on” he insisted on gripping her hands, shimming her body. She caved when he began singing the words as they swayed back and forths slowly shuffling into his open arms.  

“you’re so important to me Lily,” he whispers through trembling lips, voice cracking from her acceptance.

“I love you too” she grins, melting in his tender embrace.

@diyasgarden and the rest of chat during her watch party spoke about this theme with art and lily and I had to write something about it <3

[starrdream]

Unsatisfied apology

Anakin Skywalker x f!reader summary: Anakin wants to make up... includes: not really smut but it's talked about and implied, whiny Anakin, make up sex, fast finishing, no orgasm

Your ex has fucked just about any girl that would let him in hopes of getting over you. As if your friends reminding you constantly wasn’t enough, anyone passing by his room could hear clearly. News flash, it didn’t help him one bit.

Though, the rumor that he still wasn’t over you did feed your ego.

One night, you were mindlessly revising for some tests you had later that week when a knock disturbed you. 

“Baby, please open the door. I need to talk to you.” The whiny yet familiar voice still made your heart skip a beat. Or two.

He must be drunk. You thought.

“What?” You huff as you open the door. Not only were you met with a completely sober Anakin, you were met with a crying one too.

Tears streaked down his rosy cheeks, eyes puffy and red. Who knows how long he was crying for.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, voice laced with concern.

“Can we talk?” He sniffles.

“Yeah” You blurted out before you could even think twice.

Opening the door further, you let him in. Ankin takes a seat on your bed and waits for you to join him.

The second you sat down he started ranting about everything.

“Baby I missed you so much…”

“I fucked up really bad, I know.”

“You’re all I ever think about.”

“I’ll never be over you.”

“I’ve been awful since the day we broke up.”

“No other girl compares to you..”

“Please..Give me another chance, my love.”

He pleaded and whined, all while still sobbing. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t considering it. Just one look at those blue eyes was enough to tear down any kind of resistance you’ve built over time.

“Please baby.” He begged. “Nobody is as good to me as you are. I’m so sorry” He whined, staring at you through teary eyes.

“I don’t know Ani..” You sighed, shoulders slumping.

“But you’re thinking about it.” He straightened up, a hint of excitement in his voice. “Please” He breaks off into a sob. “Let me make it up to you.”

With that, he pushes you down on the bed gently, climbing on top of you.

“Ani-” You try to protest, placing your hand on his upper arm. Unfortunately your voice comes out as a desperate whimper more than anything else, only urging him on.

“I’m so sorry for how I treated you baby” He mumbles, slipping your shirt off. He continues mumbling incoherent words that are interrupted by sobs and hiccups as he undresses you.

“Please say you forgive me..” He stares right into your eyes as he palms himself through his pants before slipping them down to free his rock hard cock.

God knows how long that was there.

“O-okay, I forgive you” You mumble, trying not to laugh at how childish he looks.

“You’re just saying that.” He pouts, sobbing again.

The next 5, 6 minutes of your life were the most confusing ones ever. 

Anakin is borderline desperate and his movements are jerky and uncoordinated. He's ground against your thigh like a puppy for at least 3 minutes before finally pushing his erection into your warmth.

He is good in bed, but this? If you didn’t know any better you could’ve easily brushed him off as a virgin.

He's whining and whimpering with every shallow thrust, his entire body shaking with the force of his sobs.

Obviously, he did NOT make you finish before he did. He didn’t make you finish at all. The second he spilled inside of you, he collapsed on top of you while breathing heavily.

Upon realizing you were still very much unsatisfied he cried again.

"I'm sorry..I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry.." He kept mumbling over and over for another 5 minutes through his soft cries.

Shoulders shaking, face going numb as he cuddled you. The tight hold he had on you while crying loosened overtime as he fell asleep.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Wildflower-Part 2

Jay Halstead x Reader (Nicknamed Wildflower)

You and Jay both adjust to him being home and someone else figures out Leah’s parentage

As soon as you hit the six week mark to go back to work, Sylvie and Matt helped you to get Leah into the same daycare that Julia was in. You would drop her off in the morning when you headed into shift. It wasn’t far from the station house and well vetted by Voight. You trusted it well enough.

When you woke up the following morning after Jay met Leah you barely wanted to get out of bed. It was only a matter of time before news spread of him being back. No one gossiped more than first responders. Avoiding Hailey when you were pregnant had been a feat in itself. You worked the truck for the first few months up until you got hurt and Kelly threatened to take away your position on squad completely if you didn’t move to light duty.  The times intelligence and fifty one ended up on the same calls Stella and Sylvie were amazing in running interference. You told them it was just because she was a reminder of Jay you didn’t want to face, you prayed they never figured it out.

You laid there for the longest until her little cries filled the air. “I’m coming babygirl” you called out and tossed your blanket off. She could give a damn less about any drama. All she knew was she needed her mommy to get her a bottle and a dry diaper to get her ready for the day.

You parked your truck behind Stella’s jeep and took a deep breath. You could do this. You could face this. This place was yours. The people inside were your family. They always had your back. Kelly and Stella fought for you. Matt and Sylvie comforted you. Violet crawled in the bed and supported you while you gave birth. They would never turn their back on you.

You grabbed everything you needed and opened your door, the cool air brushing across your face made you breathe a little easier. 

______________________

The moment you stepped into the bays Sylvie, Stella and Violet came running at you. “Did you hear?” Stella asked and you shook your head, eyes wide “I don’t think so?” “Jay’s back. Matt saw him with Will this morning” Sylvie told you and your stomach hit your feet, fuck that was fast.

You prayed to anyone and everything listening that your face didn’t come anywhere in the vicinity of betraying your thoughts. You shrugged “Not like he could call me. I changed my number after the issues” your story had been that Leah was the result of a one night stand that the guy was just a bad decision all around. You’d told everyone you’d gone out a few nights after Jay left, which just so happened to have been Mouse’s birthday so your story was believable that you were depressed enough to end up drunk in some random guy's bed. 

You’d had to fake a few harassing phone calls and texts but it protected Jay’s name by selling your story and kept a confrontation with Hailey from happening. 

Stella laughed “He’s gonna be surprised when he does see you. Baby and all” you cut your eyes at her “My baby is the least of his concern. If he’s back now, shouldn't he be worried about a job and his ex wife?”   all three of them started laughing at that and your shoulders loosened a bit. Ok, that’s good. They were laughing which meant they believed your bullshit, right?

Matt walked up “Ladies, shouldn’t you four be getting to work” you shot him a grin “Captain I’m on Squad three” Kelly whistled from where he was sitting in his recliner “Get to work Wildflower” and you rolled your eyes playfully “Fine Sev” and he grinned. See, this was why you loved this bunch.

Violet hooked her arm through yours as the two of you headed inside so you could shove your bag into your locker. “So, how was your two days off?” you shrugged “I cleaned, slept and washed laundry” and nodded “Productive”  you laughed “Not that glamorous of a life there Vi. Single mama and all. Why do you think I always make sure you keep up with your birth control?”

She grinned “And I adore you for it”, the two of you walked through the common area and Sam turned from where he was pouring coffee “Ladies, you two want a cup?” “Yes please” you told him and he nodded “Coming right up” 

Jay was trying to listen to his new boss. He would be working in private security. They worked in tandem with CPD but it was a lot lower risk and a lot more money. He would no longer be bringing danger home with him. When he first signed on for the job it was simply because he was just tired of everything he’d dealt with during his time in intelligence, now? Now all he could think about was a tiny pink bundle that fit so well in his hands and looked so much like you but had his hue of eyes.

“Halstead, you good?” he nodded “Yes sir. Little bit of jet lag” he replied and Stevenson nodded “Understandable. You won’t really be doing much today, just going over our systems mainly. They’re not that much different than you’re used to but just familiarize yourself with them you know?” He nodded “Yes sir” “Good, come with me” he stood to follow the other man through the building. “So Jay, tell me a little more about yourself. Got any family? Kids?”

Jay’s first thought was to gush about Leah. He’d just met her but god she was perfect. He wanted to talk about her but he had promised. “Um, no not yet” he felt his stomach knot with the lie. Fuck, he didn’t like feeling like he was denying her. He would simply because you asked. “Um I got divorced before I deployed so not really any time for anything else” he added and Stevenson laughed “I get that man. Well with this job it’s not easy but it’s definitely not as much bullshit as you had to eat working intelligence”

“Good, I couldn't handle any more of that” he replied with a short laugh. 

You’d worked two wrecks and a water rescue. At least the day had seen fit to not give you much time to sit and think. You finally had a moment to catch your breath so you flopped down in one of the many chairs that were around the table in the bay. Food was being cooked and your stomach was growling but you needed some fresh air. You hadn’t felt truly alone before this moment. No one knew what you were going through and you were honestly terrified.You didn’t know what to do, how to deal with this. 

You pulled out your phone and stared at the photo of Leah that was your wallpaper. “Babygirl I’ll protect you if it’s the last thing I do” “Everything ok?” you snatched your head around to see Stella and Sylvie standing at the end of the table “How long have you two been standing there?” 

Stella nodded towards your phone “Long enough to hear you promise to protect Leah if it’s the last thing you do” you nodded “Just thinking” they exchanged a look “Did something happen?” Sylive asked and you shook your head, slipping your phone into your pocket “No, is food ready?” they nodded so you stood “Let’s go eat then. I’m hungry”

___________________

Can I see her tonight? You stared at the text from Jay for far too long before finally sending back Not tonight, ok? You knew you told him that he could see her but he’d just met her last night. You didn’t to do an every day thing.

Ok. Let me know when was his response. You took a deep breath and slipped your phone into your pocket. You could do this, you’d survived this far. You would continue to survive.

“Hey baby” you spoke lightly as Leah cooed, grabbing your fingers. Jay wanted to come see her. You’d kept him away for the last two weeks since he’d been home, using your work as an excuse. “I want him to be able to see you, I wouldn’t want to keep you from him but I also don’t want to hurt him either” you whispered, letting her play with your fingers.

You told him to go out with Will and Kevin tonight. He needed to see his brother, his friends. He texted you daily to check on her, you. You hadn’t told him you’d been at Mouse’s grave when he called you earlier. Hell you needed someone to talk to. You’d sat under the tree his parents had bought the plot next to, holding Leah while she napped. He loved Hailey enough to marry her, he had a chance to get her back now. He had a new job, a new start. He could have a new life without all the old issues. You were an old issue. You brought memories of the past, memories of pain and so much baggage.

You just wished he would have forgotten about you all together. That would’ve made things so much easier for everyone. If he would’ve forgotten about you, he never would’ve come to your place and never would’ve found out about her. 

She cooed louder and you laughed “Ok ok. I’ll get us both so food ma’am. You don’t have to get all fussy Butt” and scooped her up. You stared down at her for a moment, her seafoam eyes squinting. Why did she have to have those eyes?

Jay stood next to Will, sipping his beer as Kevin racked the pool balls. He was adjusting to his new job. It was a walk in the park compared to intelligence, he was getting paid pretty well and he wasn’t getting shot at every day. “How’s Wildflower? I ain’t seen her around in a minute man” Kevin asked, cutting his eyes up at Jay. Jay shrugged “I’ve only talked to her a couple times since I got back. She seems ok. That baby of hers is adorable” Kevin grinned “Little Leah? Oh that angel is!”

Jay took a long swig of his beer to hide his proud grin. He knew she was adorable. Will nodded “Those two are both strong as hell. I thought I nearly lost Wildflower and Leah that time she got hurt” Jay couldn’t stop his head from how fast it whipped around towards Will “What?” 

Will raised an eyebrow “She didn’t tell you?” Jay shook his head “No” Kevin grimaced “She worked pretty solid the first few months till she had a close call. Nearly died and lost little Leah. It was bad but she healed up pretty good” Jay nodded slowly “Good that she didn’t die or lose her baby” he was hoping he didn’t look as damn stricken as he felt. You’d nearly died, both of you. He felt sick, honestly.

The idea of you being dead and him having no idea? It ripped his fucking heart out and stomped on it. Would he have ever known? Would he have just come home looking for you and someone else be in your apartment? Would Will have had to take him to your grave? Then christ if he would’ve found out you were pregnant when you died on top of it? If he had lost his best friend, the woman he…well you and his baby? Without ever even knowing? He couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around it.

“Ok, that’s enough talking about Wildflower. You two know she hates being the topic of conversation” he grabbed a pool cue and went to line up a shot when he heard Tyler Greene, some beat cop that Kevin had spoken to that was sitting at the bar scoff.

You cut his eyes up “What’s your issue Greene?” he asked and Greene shrugged “Isn’t Wildflower that firefighter chick that don’t even know who the hell the father of her baby is? Doesn’t seem like she had any standards to me” Jay moved without a second thought, he was across the bar with one of Greene’s arms twisted behind his back and his face shoved into the bar “Say it again asshole, I fucking dare you”

“Jay back off man!” Kevin urged, grabbing his arm. “Naw, Tyler here has something to say. Let him” Kevin shook his head “He’s sorry man..aren’t ya Greene?” Greene nodded “S-Sorry”

Jay snatched the man up and spun him around to have him by the collar “Watch your mouth when you’re talking about people because you don’t know who the hell is listening”  then shoved him “Get the hell out of here” 

Kevin and Will both were staring at him afterwards and he shrugged “What?” Kevin shook his head “I was about to hit him so you just saved my hand” he nodded “Ok then let’s finish the damn game”

_______________________

Jay was walking out of the bar to his truck when Will called his name so he stopped to look back at his brother. “Yeah man, what’s up?” Will walked closer to him and stared him in the eyes until it was uncomfortable “What are you doing?” he asked with a nervous laugh and Jay shook his head “Realizing how fucking stupid I am”

“Wow, ok? Can I go?” Jay asked and Will shook his head “No, we need to talk” “About?” Jay asked so Will took a step closer, lowering his voice to no one passing by would hear him say “My niece”  Jay felt his hands go cold. He hadn’t meant for Will to find out, you asked him for no one to know.

“Will, don’t” he pleaded and Will’s eyebrows scrunched together “Why?” “She begged me not to tell anyone” Will shook his head “I don’t understand. Why not tell me?”

Jay shook his head “I don’t know. Protecting me in the way she seen fit? Man please just keep your mouth shut” Will sighed “Fine but she’s my niece, I almost lost her, I care about Wildflower too. Even if she thought you weren’t coming back. That hurts that she didn’t trust me”

Jay found himself getting defensive with his own brother too, “Hey, back off her. She went through a lot too. She found out her best friend got her pregnant then left and chose to do it solo. Please don’t put this on her right now” Will nodded “I’d never stress her out but when she’s ready, I’d really like to see my niece and her to know that I’m her uncle”

“I’ll tell her, the ball is firming in her court though. I’m not giving her an excuse to push me away” Jay told him with a small smile.  Will nodded slowly then a grin slipped onto his face “You have a kid” Jay nodded, a mirror grin on his own face “I do and she’s perfect” Will pulled him into a hug “My little brother is a father!”

You had just got out of the shower when your phone started ringing. You glanced to see Jay’s name. You clicked it and heard him answer “Can I please come see you two?”

You closed your eyes and swallowed hard “Ok” “Ok?” he echoed and you shook your head “Just come over Halstead”

______________________

You opened the door and stepped back to let Jay walk into your apartment next to you.  “What’s the deal with Tyler Greene?” he asked and you raised an eyebrow “Hey Jay, how are you? How’s the job going?”

He turned to face you with a smile “I’m sorry flower. Last night. Me, Kev and Will were talking about you. Nothing bad or revealing. That asshole started saying shit like you didn’t have standards because you didn’t know who the father of your child was?”

You shrugged “It happens. Should’ve seen the look on the guy’s face that Boden had everyone fighting over who got to throw him out of fifty one when I was pregnant” his face fell “How much did you deal with that?” you shook your head “Doesn’t matter. It’s just I had to have a believable story. That meant swallowing a lot of shit Jay. I’m a big girl. I can handle myself and what I can't, I can deal with”

“You don’t have to deal with anything. I’m here. Let me carry some of it” he offered and you shook your head “We’ve gone over this Jay. I’m not ruining your life”

“Our daughter could never ruin my life” he whispered and you smiled slightly “Hailey is single. You loved her enough to marry her. You could have another chance. You could find someone else. Hell you may end up leaving Chicago. Don’t allow us to stand in the way of that. I didn't keep her for a bargaining chip,I kept  her because I wanted to”

He shook his head “I’ll make a deal with you” you crossed your arms “You’re in no position to bargain with me but I have to admit I am intrigued” he grinned “Go out with me as friends! Bring her. Spend time with me like we used to. You’re still my best friend” you sighed “Jay I don’t want people to talk” he shrugged “Sweetheart I don’t care”

“I guess something like lunch or if I run into you at the market and we walk around together doesn’t hurt” you offered and he grinned “Thank you” then his grin fell “There is one thing you need to know but I didn’t tell him. He figured it out the other night from a mixture of how I reacted at finding out that you almost died along with Leah” he trailed off and stared at you for a moment.

You shrugged “I’ll tell you more about that after you finish what you’re saying” he nodded “Will knows” you scrubbed a hand down your face and walked over to the couch, flopping down on it “Jay!” 

“Flower, baby I didn’t tell him” he promised and you cut your eyes up “Don’t call me baby when you don't mean it and don’t act like this isn’t a big deal Jay. I’ve held this secret close at hand for well over a year. I have made myself look horrible to keep your name out of the mud. I have had Kelly and Stella fight for me, Matt and Sylvie comfort me and the day I gave birth? Violet climbed in the bed to support me. I care about you so much Jay and she is your daughter and I wouldn’t try to take her but don’t act like you know better than me. I won’t have it getting out she’s yours. That’s why I gave her my last name, why I put no one on the birth certificate. You’re free and clear Jay”

He sat down next to you “I don’t want to be free and clear. Flower, I’d be here even if you didn’t have babygirl. You’re my best friend. You know me better than anyone, always have. He doesn’t want to start any trouble. He just wants to know his niece” 

You took a deep breath and nodded slowly “I’ll think about it Jay but this? All of it? I never thought you were coming home” he bumped your knee with his “Told ya I’d find my way back to you” you shook your head with a small smile “I’m so happy you’re home. I don’t know if I said that but I am. That feeling of you being outside the door? Whole and alive? Second only to her being healthy”

He grinned “I missed you every damn I was gone. I thought about you, worried about you, hoped you were ok. I thought after what happened you hated me..” he trailed off and you laughed “Why would I hate you for good sex? He barked out a laugh and you shook your head but grinned proudly “On a serious note, I will think about it and if he can keep a secret, just for now I’ll tell Will the truth”

“And I’m taking you and Leah to breakfast tomorrow?” he asked so you grinned “You’re a pain in my ass, I forgot how much so” he shook his head “Naw, I’m a delight” Leah started making noises so you hit his leg “Come on delightful. Our little monster is up and in need a bottle and dry diaper before you can hold her”

”Lead the way” he replied, letting you pull him to his feet. 

@desimarie12

@allisonargent144

@nevaehstreater18

[uhhlifeig]

congratulations on 300 followers!!! you deserve every single one and im so happy for you!!

your 300 followers event is so cool!

errr can i have 🥺 for rosekiller and 😍 also for rosekiller cause im a bit obsessed with themm

aww tysm!! and yes yes ofc!! i love rosekiller too lmao

soulmates au first:

~~~~~

There was a rose blooming on Barty’s left forearm.

It had been there ever since first year, when he had first touched his soulmate.

Except, he didn’t know who it was. 

He knew that Evan’s Flower was a gladiolus. Maybe his soulmate was a girl called Gladiola or something?

Whatever was the case, Barty was sad. 

Three reasons why.

One, he was fruitlessly searching for his soulmate. He’d kissed about half the girls in Hogwarts, at this point.

Two, he was gay. That wouldn’t have been bad on its own, but it got a lot worse. Not only was he gay, he was in love with someone.

And that led him to his third and final reason: that someone was Evander Gabriel Rosier.

That’s right, Rosier. As in the family name for the roses. Like the one that Barty had on his arm.

It was a shock that Evan hadn’t put the pieces together yet. That boy was normally way too smart for his own good.

But all the better for Barty, right?

Wrong.

Even Regulus Arcturus Black, feelings repressor extraordinaire, had confronted him about his pining.

Multiple times.

It all came to a head on a sunny March day during their fifth years.

They were laying in the grass together, Evan with a book in his hand, and Barty making flower crowns.

“Here you go, Ev,” he laughed, handing over a circlet of daisies.

“Thanks, Bee,” Evan hummed. “Hey, Barty, do you know what daisies mean in the flower language?”

Barty tilted his head inquisitively. “No, what?”

“Loyalty and purity, apparently.”

“Really?” Barty stuck out his arm. “What does the rose mean?”

“Well, yours is read, so that’s love and passion and such. I bet your soulmate already loves you, just from that alone.”

Barty poked at Evan’s forearm. “Well, then, what does your flower mean?”

“Honor and resilience, probably.” Evan grinned sheepishly, rubbing his neck. “I’m not sure. I haven’t looked at one of those books in ages.”

“Well, if you don’t know the meaning of the gladiolus, maybe you know the meaning of your name, Evander Gabriel Rosier,” Barty teased. 

Evan rolled his eyes fondly. “It’s somewhere along the lines of me being a good man. I’m not so sure about that.”

“Lies,” Barty cried. “You’re a very good man. You even save me some breakfast sometimes!”

Evan nodded gravely. “Yes, that is totally what makes me a good person.”

“Darn right it is. Now, what’s my name mean?”

“You know what it means,” Evan huffed in laughter. “You’ve been preening about how untrue it was since second year.”

“Well, yeah, cause he’s a bitch,” Barty sighed, yanking at the grass beneath him. “What kind of name is ‘loyal son’ anyways?”

“Oh my fucking Merlin,” Evan muttered for what seemed to be no reason. “You’re so fucking blind, what the hell?”

“What?”

Evan sighed. “Barty, you know you’re my soulmate, right?”

“What?” his mouth fell open in shock.

“You didn’t know.”

“Well, no,” Barty admitted. “I thought you were straight!”

Evan looked at him incredulously. “What about-” he gestured at himself. “this- says, ‘I’m straight’?”

“You have a good point,” Barty admitted. 

“You’re darn right about that.”

And suddenly, it was like there were fireworks going off around them as their lips met for the first time.

~~~~~

and now we have the hurt/comfort under the cut!! be warned im a lot better at writing hurt

~~~~~

“Where are you going?” Evan asked tearfully. “Please, Barty, we can fix this.”

“Fix it? Fix it? What is there to be fixed?” Barty scoffed. “You can’t love me the way I deserve, so you shouldn’t get me.”

“Please,” Evan choked. “I can’t do it without you. You’re my everything, Barty.”

“Your everything. Really?” Barty asked, raising an eyebrow. “You think I believe that, Evan?”

“Please, Bee,” Evan begged, throwing in the nickname for good measure. “One more chance. I promise I’ll do better.”

“That’s what they all say,” Barty spat, turning around. He strode to the nearest picture frame, which contained an image of Before, when they were happy and still in love.

Barty picked it up, inspecting it, before dropping the photo, frame and all, on the floor. The glass shattered, covering the carpet with shards.

“Bee, what are you doing?” Evan gasped, tears carving paths down his cheeks. “Please, stop.”

“I’m just giving you what you deserve, Rosie.” Even that once-sweet nickname was like poison coming out of Barty’s mouth. It seemed to hit Evan square in the chest, causing him to stumble backwards.

“You can’t mean that,” Evan stuttered. “Please.”

“Please what?” Barty sneered. He picked up the picture, shaking off the debris. He looked at it hard for a moment before-

Evan’s ears were ringing. He didn’t think he could feel anything like this ever again.

The picture lay in tatters, scattered all over the floor.

“Barty, why did you-”

“Because we’re done,” Barty snarled, walking out of the door and slamming it.

It promptly fell off of its hinges.

Evan and Barty groaned simultaneously.

“I was doing so well!” Barty cried. “Fuck!”

“You’ve broken that door twice, Bee,” Evan grinned. “One might think that you’re the Hulk or something.”

“Boys, the camera is still rolling,” their director, Minerva McGonagall, snapped. “We need to cut this out. Tech, do you think we can still salvage the scene?”

“Probably,” a lanky man with a clipboard said from next to her. His name tag read ‘Lupin’. “We just need to fix the door and do an up-close shot of the slam. The rest is fixable in post.”

“Alright,” McGonagall sighed. “Chop-chop, people. The door isn’t fixing itself.”

Barty stepped back into the indoor part of the set. “Hey, Ev, d’you wanna get a coffee? I’m running low on caffeine.”

McGonagall got up from her chair, walking towards the. She put her hand on Barty’s shoulder. “If you two get coffee, get me one, too. Something black and strong, thank you.”

“Yes, Minnie,” Evan said, grinning cheekily.

[fewsystemsinonebody]

list by host as they made me do it lol:

Albert - he's funny and adorable, he reminds me that I can be childish no matter of the age

April - that he isn't a walking stereotype of goth (not that I dislike them but he doesn't let himself be put into a box)

Arnie - a lot of fun memories with him, he was always so helpful and I wish we were closer again but we try

Benji - he's so appreciative and full of surprises, also he's adorable as a dog

Brie - I know I can count on him no matter of his mental state, I wish I could support him more, he's a great big brother figure, he's also a walking meme and a complex person that deserves the best, I adore him

Brandon - it's hard to put into words but I just enjoy his presence and can't imagine our system without him

Dave - he's sometimes annoying, not in a bad way, but I know we have him on our side

Gru - because he's carefree, sometimes I'm jealous of him even if I want him to understand things more but then he goes sad and I'm worried...

Hakan - golden heart despite of people thinking he's a monster

Jack - my best mate twin that is always therer for me to hug the sadness outta me and spend time together

Jacob - he changed so much, I'm proud of him even if he falls sometime

Jimmy - my precious lil bro, he is such a prankster but it breaks my heart whenever he cries, he's very smart too despite of being one of the youngest of us

Jerry - he's no show off besides when he doesn't bite his tongue before saying whatever comes to his mind out loud lol but I see his silent help... thank you

Lio - the first one to fight for us on dc servers haha, became such a sunshine after a storm, love him singing as he makes funny faces every single time making me laugh

Lu - he finds himself a bad guy but I'm thankful for his chaotic nature saving us more than once, you don't have to be perfect <3

Marcel - sorry to say that but... you're a child in a big man and I know you wanna be seen as mature but I see you, you're trying your best even if sometimes you can't force yourself to act on something

Monty - the fact you always are in control even if you're not, I know he's overworked and I wish he rest more but if not him we would suffer a lot in the inner world

Nat - I know he's blaming himself for failing so many times and going against me but he forgets to see how many times he was there for me even if for minor things, especially when my dad fallen ill, I love you forever

Red - thanks to him we are more safe and I also would like him to enjoy life more as he seems interesting and hardworking

Pink - you're not ashamed, I know, you're also assertive and teach me to feel less guilty, I fought for you and always will hopefully

Marco - you quickly became a big part of our brain, at first such a grump but now you're so lovely like an uncle to me, I know that even if we disagree you are trying to protect us

Five - right hand of Marco, he can dominate him and take care of him despite of being so small, I'm glad Marco has someone who supports him all the way!

Nin - I know he means well, he's trying to do the best he can

Caspian - you're not a curse, I don't know you well but I saw you being a rebel, thinking for yourself and understanding too as you're open minded, you are such a good boy :D

Koda Nova - sun to the Nin's moon, light definitely

Bonny, Afsan and Mico - incredible trio, hard to explain maybe but you definitely won the place among us

Soprano - I brought you back because you took us away from therapist, you made us stand up for ourselves, you said "fuck the reputation" just for me to not fuse against my will, forever grateful, you're also not a bore ;)

Bronco - I know you think you're just a copy of Greg but I know you're so much more, you have to find out, take your time

Maylo - I forgive you, I know you have such a great responsibility from such a young age but you dropped everything and went against everything just to protect your favorite family, you're my father figure, dad no. 2 and I don't want you to leave again, missed you for months

Greg - you always make me laugh, world is empty without you here, your low loud noise when you sing Sanah and when you are here with me when I am scared of you know what, Brie needs you - don't leave again, ok?

Szymon - you're not just an anxiety, clumsiness nor gossip, you're a survivor, you're intelligent and you're very brave

Ursus - no idea who you are yet that much but I find you a cool character for sure hah

Bartek - I know you hate when someone says you're an anger holder, even now, but I want you to know it's not all you are but I'm still glad you can be at times as we have to finally be sometimes

Maciej - saved you today, look how much you've done good things in one day, I think you will prove your worth even more in the future, don't waste your chance as I would be sad to see you go :(

Key - you don't have to survive everything, I'm impressed but I know how hard it is, let's enjoy life a bit more too, alright?

Deer - you're one of the most optimistic ones, recently if not you it would end up really poorly for us, thx for helping me and Brie and you're also such a good writer like Nat and Brie

Nikita - my little pony, I wanna see you smile, I like you being here

Adam - despite of how you act sometimes you're one of the biggest heroes I knew, always ready to help/save/take care of others

Cyprian - because you're so extreme sometimes it reminds me we have rights and will always have each other's backs

Jeff - I know you're pseudomemories are complicated but I don't find you egoistic, I'm glad you are finally thinking about yourself putting yourself first and yet still care about others instead of stomping on them, I know it's super hard for you and you wanna hurt yourself but you hurt us with it too, don't take away my guilt on yourself so much

Ryszard - you're a fighter and a lover

Why - every version of you is great

Dagmar - we still need you even if you're so complicated

John - from the moment you appeared I had mixed feelings about you but you became such a memorable persona I think it would tear a huge part of us if you were gone, I slowly learn to love myself because of you, thanks

Topielec - you're such a good guy for so much you've been through and it reminds me this is who we are alltogether, we deserve better

Snow - you just appeared but I'm not scared of you, I get it man, take your time

question suggestion

what is one thing you like about each headmate? don’t have to answer for every headmate, answer in the way you’re most comfortable with. just some plural positivity :]

question 79:

[ushkoo]

BLU TEAM HEADCANONS 🌀

warning for them being mean to each other nd drinking nd a mention of drugs !

Scout:

- looks more tired (let him rest)

- Pale asf

- Usually hangs around Sniper

- Nipples pierced (it was a dare)

- freckles!

- adrenaline junkie

- Smug little shit

- Depressed and sick of everything

- Slightly grown out buzzcut

- Loves Heavy like his father :)

Soldier:

- mild alcoholic

- Actually got into the army! PTSD from war tho :(

- Meaner

- Honestly just a total bully

- Clothes are more damaged and ripped

- Has a lot of scars from war

- Smarter than RED

- Actually kinda nice if you know him well but he struggles w expressing it

Pyro:

- A lot scarier than RED pyro

- Still likes unicorns but in secret bc the other BLU team members w mean to them ab it

- Mute

- Still a cutie

- Has really bad social anxiety, avoids people whenever possible

- Likes to stand creepily in hallways

- Doesn’t have any friends on the team :( everyone thinks they’re creepy

- hangs out with Scout and Sniper on VERY rare occasions, gets made fun of by them

Demo:

- takes his job VERY seriously

- Still drinks but not as much as RED, has it more under control

- Rlly depressed :( misses home

- Hangs out with Soldier sometimes but usually just stays in his room

- Has a lot of anger in him, usually gets unnecessarily violent on the battlefield

- Keeps plants on his windowsill

- Feels bad that Pyro has no friends but is also a little afraid of them

Heavy:

- A bit more quiet but pretty similar to RED Heavy.

- Just gets on with his job, doesn’t really care for being social.

- Doesn’t take any joy in killing REDs, cries about it when he’s alone because he feels awful killing other people.

- Keeps Scout in line! Is more of a father figure to him than Spy is.

- Always worries about Scout and thinks that he’s too young to be doing work like this.

- Wears a scarf! He gets cold a lot.

Engineer:

- the WORST

- very mean, especially to Pyro and Scout

- Gets drunk with Soldier a lot. Often peer pressures Soldier into being mean to the others :(.

- Yells at Pyro for like.. existing

- Annoyingly good at his job, better than RED

- Unresolved trauma

Medic:

- scary mf don’t let him perform surgery on you

- Stalks Heavy a lot

- REALLY wants to know what it would be like to violently kill someone (Scout is his first pick)

- Doesn’t wear glasses

- Scars all over his hands from grabbing scalpels wrong

- Probably an ex serial killer or smth

Sniper:

- tooth necklace (inspired by that one tiktok artist)

- Other miscellaneous bone jewellery

- More unhinged and bloodthirsty

- So fucking grumpy all of the time but also rlly smug and cocky

- Has a mullet

- Crazed gunman

- Sharp teeth (bites ppl) (esp Scout)

- Has various piercings around his body

- Probably hides coke in his room for special occasions (only Scouts allowed to have some)

Spy:

- So so done with everyone on the team

- Really wants to be a father to Scout but he thinks its too late to fix their relationship

- Hates that Scout likes Heavy more than him

- Thinks that the rest of the team is full of psychopaths

- Feels a bit bad for Pyro but doesn’t understand them well enough to talk to them

- Actually quite nice, will offer you a cigarette

- Argues with Soldier and Engie a lot

🗒️—————————————————————🗒️

aaa srry this is rlly crappy :( m all beaten up rn from a mosh pit so ive been resting all day

I felt bad for not posting smth so here r my blu headcanons aaaaa

Ill get to requests eventually!  o(T^T)o

[josephtrohman]

joe talking about the guitar gift from marie 🥹💘

[fbfh]

Do you still write for Dave Lizewski? I loved what you've written for him so far!

FUCK yes I do. Listen there's a lot I could say about Dave, but one thing that is NEVER addressed is how deeply rooted and repressed his mommy issues are. I'm sorry, your mom dies in front of you and you're just... not affected by it??? bullshit!!!!!!! Dave CRAVES a soft gentle touch, a divine feminine aura. Even if you're not a girl, if you just take care of him gently and look at him with a soft fondness he will fold SO fast. and yes having a nice rack (while not necessary) will help with this a lot. and by a nice rack I mean literally just having anything on your chest. flat tits, huge tits, lopsided tits, fake tits, real tits, literally ANYTHING. even if your tits are practically nonexistent he WILL still be trying to grope and suck on them. and he WILL succeed. nothing in this world can stop this boy from drooling over you.

after a particularly long night full of stopping some muggers, making sure the town drunk doesn't fight anyone, and helping some college girls get home safe, he shows up at your place, a little bumped and bruised but not majorly injured. you greet him with this soft, understanding smile and bring him up to your bathroom. It's all clean and soapy and smells like you, and he immediately starts to relax. you help him take off his suit and he tries not to get hard from the feeling of your warm hands getting him out of his suit and exposing his skin to the cool air. you start inspecting him to see how bad he's hurt - because of all his nerve damage he doesn't always notice how bad his injuries are.

you smooth his hair and praise him, listen to him talk about his night patrolling the neighborhood. worry flashes across across your face as you see the scratches all over his face and arms.

"Oh, uh, Mrs. Landsberg's cat got stuck..." He trails off sheepishly while you smile and put disinfectant on his nicks and scrapes.

"Look at you, helping little old ladies and rescuing cats from trees." you coo playfully.

"Well, she got stuck in the attic crawl space, but..." he shrugs with another blush, feeling all proud and sheepish from your praise.

"Close enough."

you press a kiss to his nose.

"now all you need is a job at the daily planet."

Dave was so sore and tired after tonight that he felt like he'd need days to recover. but after 10 minutes with you, you already have him laughing and feeling like himself again. Dave doesn't know what he did to luck out and have you in his life, but he thinks about you all the time. If he's not physically with you (or texting you or calling you or snapping you or lurking on your social media accounts or reading through your old texts or looking through the folder of pictures and videos he has of you saved in his phone or-) he's thinking about you all the time. he even dreams about you every night. no matter how much time he spends with you, he always wants more. Dave is definitely in the sex isn't enough I need to crawl inside your skin club.

[mrmeepsmadmind]

STO P . B U L L Y I N G . MY PATHETIC PLATYPUS WIFE.

omg.. CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLA-

sorry.

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLA

I LOOOOVEEEEE PATHETIC MECHHHHHHHH

I love this stupid simp....

tfw he is a pitiful suck up and no one likes him bcs hes so fuckinf annoying 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

[girlivealwaysbean]

so many thoughts but i CANNOT stop laughing that all that time we thought louis had some elaborate mind control type reason for staying with armand and it was really just.. HIM TRYING TO MAKE HIS EX JEALOUS SLSKSKKSKSKS

[ociels]

his brother died and one of his first thoughts were that it should’ve been him instead because now people are going to be disappointed…

[novadreii]

Mmm actually I think we do owe love and care to our loved ones! We do owe each other things sometimes! There is a duty of care in our relationships that we should do our very best to uphold. It's the basis for human connection? An informal agreement we have with someone dear to us that we will support and cherish them and not just when it's easy and in the ways that feel effortless to us but also in the ways that they feel most loved.

We owe each other consideration. We owe each other a chance to chime in on important things and we should not make unilateral decisions. We owe each other reassurance sometimes too! Gasp!

I know that we're unlearning our generational trauma collectively but what's the point if we draw such hard boundaries around ourselves that nobody is let in, and nobody is helped, loved or considered when they really need it?

What is the point of being connected to another human being if it's understood between the two of you that if shit hits the fan, they are loyal only to themselves and you can get fucked?

I get it. We need to be self-sufficient. We can't rely on someone to the point of falling apart when they leave the house. But entering into a relationship or close friendship (or nurturing our existing familial relationships that are healthy) is a declaration that we CAN but don't WANT to be 100% self-sufficient anymore. We'd like to outsource a portion of our bandwidth to the other person. And in exchange, we take on some of theirs. It can't be rainbows all the time: again, most of us are traumatized by our parents in some way. We have behaviours that make us unpleasant sometimes! But why does that necessarily mean that we cut each other off when we show symptoms? When we actually need to cash in on some support the most? Where pray tell lies the nuance between "cut off abusive people who have no intention of changing" and "sometimes our loved ones can act ugly on the road to healing, but as long as they commit to bettering themselves I will see them through it"???? Does the latter not exist at all?

The act of caring and being cared for is one of the only fucking things we have left that can sustain our hearts in this bleak world. If you don't want to be burdened with the expectation of reciprocation in your relationships then what is the point of seeking connection? You are missing a fundamental fucking variable.

[hauntingblue]

Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[thompsborn]

i know i’ve said that being able to do the stereotypical insane ao3 authors notes is fun and amusing to me but can the universe NOT take that as a challenge to add more shit to my list of things to add next time i post ???? like. fucking. Calm Down Please.

[ociels]

i think i got very lucky with my parents :,)