#LIKE ARE YOU JOKINGGGGG

[agentbootyreportingforduty]

okay but in 6x11 how the FUCK did steve misread the course description?? he looked at THIS shit and really said “wow that’s perfect for me and my platonic heterosexual (allegedly) work partner” like let’s be so forreal rn

[astroidlanding]

Oh just watching T’kor win this brings me so much joy

[livejournallegacy]

Because it has to be so lonely To be the only one who's holy

Paramore - Playing God

[logansargey]

It's so weird to me that ppl think certain F1 drivers are ugly.😭 To me, all of them are so pretty.

[jobazzle]

guessed purple top pink skirt for the 1989 set today and the result was pink top purple skirt

[submarinerwrites]

if u are a firefox for android user download the video background play add-on it lets u play youtube videos in the background changed my life fr

[homestylehughes]

kiss me

pairing(s): luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: luke and his pretty girl spend a summer day in central park

warnings: none. pure fluff and cuteness.

wc: 647

an: hiiii loves!! i kept having this thought about luke last night and i decided to write it LOL. i'm a sucker for cute and soft luke. it's a short little baby fic but i love it. i hope you all enjoy it!! like and reblog if you do!! as always much love <3.

happy reading <3

The warm summer breeze moves past Luke and I as we walk through Central Park, enjoying a soft summer day. 

“And one vanilla cone for a pretty lady” Luke dramatically says from beside me, handing me the sweet treat on the cone. 

“Thank you kind sir” I giggle back, before wrapping my tongue around the sweet treat, internally moaning at the taste. 

“Good?” Luke asks, chuckling at me, as he watches me eat the desert. 

“Mhm!” I mumble back, mouth full of ice cream. Luke replies with a smile, grabbing his warm hand in mine as we begin to walk further into the park. 

The bright sun litters over the vibrant green trees that litter all around the park, the slight breeze causing them to sway as if they're dancing. Flowers of all types add color and more life to the park, the scene around us is beautiful, like something out of a painting.

I'm not really sure how we ended up here today. Luke wanted to take an impromptu trip to New York, and now we’re here, and I'm not complaining.

Luke looks so amazing in the sun. The way it highlights his chestnut brown curls. Seeing how his mussels contract under the white shirt he chose to wear together is enough to make my mouth water. He's a sight I'll never get used to seeing. 

“Are you okay over there pretty girl?” 

Luke asks beside me, breaking me out of my daydream.

 “Yeah I'm fine” I say beaming up to him, flashing him a sweet smile. “Just thinking about and how lucky I am” I follow. 

“Oh, who knew my pretty girl was such a sap for me” 

“Hey now, don't be mean. I was trying to be cute and admit my love for you and you just bullied me." I say turning on my heel to throw away my cone wrapper. 

“I was jokinggggg, come here '' Luke says, grabbing my wrist, pulling me back towards him. “You better be,” I say with a small pout on my lips. 

Luke chuckles at my face, “you're so cute” he says before leading me down the trail again. We walk in silence for a few moments, taking in the view around us. 

“It's so pretty out here today” i say looking at luke, “thank you for taking me here today”, “you're welcome pretty girl” he says looking at me 

“I feel like I haven't, we haven't seen each other a lot recently, and I wanted to take my pretty girl to a pretty place.” 

Luke's words have my face heating up instantly, he never fails to make me feel loved and special. “Now who's the sap?” I say playfully, nudging my elbow into his side as we continue walking. 

“Wowwwww. Okay i see how it is' ' he says with a dramatic sigh.

 “You know I'm kidding” I say, pulling his arms, so he's now standing in front of me. 

“I love you” I softly say looking into his eyes.

“I love you more” he counter,

 “impossible.'' I say looking back at him with narrowed eyes. 

“Shut up” Luke laughs at me. 

“No, you shut up” I sat tilting my head to the side, waiting for his next move. 

“Oh really?” he says, taking a step and half closer to me. 

“Mhm, what are you going to do about it?” he says, tilting his head down closer to my face. 

“Kiss me” I say, not even a beat later, I feel his warm hands cupping my cheeks pulling me into a sweet kiss. My arms circled around his neck, pulling him closer to my body. 

Luke pulls away from my lips softly, “I'll never stop talking if you always shut me up with a kiss.” he says in a teasing tone. 

“Oh shut up” I mumble back, 

“oh I will” is all Luke says before pullin me back for another kiss. 

[ergivier]

I'm actually crying so hard right now

LIKE ARE YOU JOKINGGGGG 😭😭😭

Rest in peace, beautiful angel

[multifandomslxt]

I'm not sure if you've talked about this yet or even made a post about this topic (so you can hehe mtl type) but who do you think in nct would be into calling their gf mommy

A/N: Hey anon thank you for requesting and no I haven't done this yet so here you go

Enjoyyyyy😊

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Nct 127

Haechan (Yes, no arguments.)

Taeyong (Says he's joking but he's really not babe lmaooo)

Mark (You could convince him but only if you promise not to tell anyone)

Jungwoo ( he'll continue or discontinue based on your reaction..He's not sure of himself just give him time)

Johnny ( as a joke...he's just playing babe.)

Jaehyun ( highly unlikely but if you flash him than maybe he'll see what he can do)

Yuta (NOPE. He is in charge here.)

NCT dream

I'm gonna be honest here.😭😭

Jisung is the only one who would call you that but he would have to be drunk or tired.

as for the rest (Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun adn Chenle) they would look at you like you lost your damn mind.

Wayv

Yang Yang ( He tries to deny it but he knows he would)

Xiaojun (Spoil him and see just how quickly he folds)

Hendery (He's jokinggggg...is he?)

Ten ( in a mocking way if that makes sense)

WinWin ( This man does not gaf he just wants pu$$y to be honest)

Kun ( not in this lifetime babe)

[mscherub]

What Twst characters would say based on interactions I’ve had with my friends 👍

Characters: Prefect, mainly first years, mentions of others + professor(s)

Warnings:

Swearing, mentions of drugs, rude words, yall sorry for this—

Most convos were twisted to be a little more PG…

Also, I’m a girl and most of these experiences were at school and from my pov so if they seem a little harsh, MBBBB

KEY: Prefect is what I said in the situation, Everyone else is what my friends plus others have said <3

Chaos below the cut guys, good luck—

Prefect sits down at lunch table

Ace: ew, you’re here?

Prefect pauses

Ace: I’m jokinggggg

Prefect: bitch

MC sits down at lunch table, Epel has his phone out and has a picture of Vil next to a picture of Jeffrey star

Prefect: “Shit…”

Epel: “I know, right?”

Prefect: “similarity is uncanny.”

Messaging GC

Prefect: luv u guys, Gn <3

Ace: Fuck you

Prefect: Fuck you, too, dude, smd

Ace: love*

Prefect: KYS U WHORE, and I meant to spell it that way

Sebek: everyone go to bed

Messaging Gc again

Deuce: wht arw u gya ar

Ace: what did bro say

Prefect: mans is typing in hieroglyphics

Deuce: DID U JUST XALL ME TYPIBF HEIRIGOPLDUGIS

In PE

Epel: Y’all, don’t fall, there’s water all over the—

Slips and fucking falls on his face

Prefect: BRO, nice one

Epel: fuck you

In class

Prefect: can I see your work? I promise you I won’t copy like word for word, I didn’t have time to do the assignments last night

Deuce: wait…what work?

Prefect: …

Stares at each other for a minute than nods, sighing and looking away

Jack: what does “she hawked on my tuah mean…”

Prefect: uh, maybe don’t figure that one out

Sebek: I heard in response to a phrase like that you just say, “Skibidi”

Prefect: u know what…I’m done

Prefect doing most of the group work with the first years

Ace: Thank you my trusty slave

Everyone looks at him appalled

Prefect: what…the fuck

Ace: sorry, slave

Forgetting a literal child was there

Prefect: then I said, “you’re just a carpet muncher—“

Ortho: what does that mean?

Prefect: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, NOOOOOOOOOO, IGNORE THAT AHHHHHHH

Jack: I can’t believe you’ve done this

Ace: I hawk and I hawk and I tuah your house down

Deuce: you need to hawk tuah your way to therapy my guy

Prefect: I can agree with this

Ace: but, Prefect, aren’t you the therapist friend? Why haven’t u been helping me then…

Prefect: …

Internet goes out at school, supposed to take test online (I know Trein prefers old fashioned way but pretend for a bit…)

Trein: unfortunately we can not take the test

Everyone: Professor Trein, Trein— it’s fine, really, it’s ok :)

Prefect: eughhh, that’s a big bitch!

Points over at a guy who did ortho dirty

Prefect: eughhhh that’s a guy with a small di—

Sebek: HUMAN, DO NOT SAY SUCH TERMS, if you’d want to truly get back at him, let us go together to fight

Prefect: awww, Sebby

Some bitch is talking shit on Prefect and Jack, the relatively nice ppl of the group—

Ace: I called in reinforcements

Prefect + Jack: huh?

All house wardens proceed to come to defend yall…

Prefect: I’m…wtf, why…

Ace: they all hate that kid, too

Prefect: what—

Prefect: ALL I HAD TO DO WAS TAKE A PISS, BUT NO, I WALKED INTO THE BATHROOM AND PPL WERE SITTING IN SINKS AND IN THE STALLS SMOKING AWAY, LIKE WHAT GRADE ARE WE IN AND WE’RE DOING THIS?

Ace: that’s…rough

Prefect: I wouldn’t be surprised to walk into the bathroom one day and see someone snorting a Coke line…

Epel: nobody would be, believe me

In PE class again, everyone lines up on the line

“The fitness gram pacer test—“

Prefect: I just got war flashbacks

Jack: it’ll be fine, just breath through your nose and out through your mouth

Prefect: ITS NOT THAT EASY WTF, THATS LIKE ASKING ME TO BREATHE UNDERWATER

Prefect peacefully walking then— BAM, backpack gets pulled back by someone behind them, causing them to stumble back

Prefect: WHATTTTT

Ace: hiiii

Prefect: unhand me!

Prefect: Ace…Ace, Ace…ACEEEE!

Ace ignoring everyone

Prefect: dude…

Looks over in another direction and lies to get his attention—

Prefect: I see the bitch that u hate with the wig

Ace: WHERE?—

Sitting at lunch table, eating, cater pulls out phone and snaps pics

Prefect: wtf man

Cater: cause :)

Prefect: whatever…don’t post it on your story

Cater: :(…ok…

Does it anyways

Prefect and Grim walk in, Prefect carries Grim in arms

Prefect: how many hours of sleep are you all going off?

Ace: three

Deuce: three

Jack: three

Epel: three, don’t tell Vil

Sebek: three, as well, Human

Ortho: charged for three hours, battery levels are lower than usual…

Prefect: Oh my seven, we’re all like…twinning today!

Yayyyy

Grim slams lunch tray down which is piled with food

Prefect: dude…

Grim: I’m hungry

Ace: too hungry, clearly, ya big back

Walking back on campus back to ramshackle, wild turkeys square up around Prefect and Grim

Prefect: if this is how I die I’m not gonna be happy

Grim: I thought those were trash bags, oh well, let’s eat them

In locker room

Ace: smells like ass and chlorine

Jack: that’s oddly specific

Ace: it does tho

Epel: BE MANLY ABT IT BRUH

Ace: Kys

Epel: well damn

(Idk the context for that one)

That’s it cause I can’t think of anymore— and I know some of these weren’t that funny, BUT THEY ARE TO ME

Part two maybe :3 ?

Master List

[dabislittlemouse]

Tw: Somnophilia

You were sleeping peacefully when Dabi snuck into your apartment late that night. He hadn’t intended on paying you a visit until later on but well…. Shigaraki had gotten on his nerves and now he had some anger he needed to blow off. And what better way to do that… Then with you? So here he found himself standing over your sleeping form. You were on your stomach with your pillow tugged tight to your chest. You looked so cute, so sweet, he almost felt bad for coming….

His mouth twisted into a grin. So tonight, it seemed, was one of those nights that you decided to forgo your sleeping shorts. His gaze travelled like a brand over your bare legs. Your skin so soft and smooth against the calluses of his hands as he finally moved to kneel over you. You squirmed slightly but otherwise didn’t move even as he snickered and bent to trail his warm mouth along the skin of your legs as his hands hiked your hips up.

He pushed his face straight against the skimpy cloth of the thong that barely covered your pretty pink cunt. He let out a rumbling groan as his eyes rolled back and he inhaled the sweet scent that was leaking from between your raised hips. How the hell you hadn’t woken up yet he had no idea but he wasn’t complaining. It was only after he was tongue deep inside of you and slurping at your cunt like a starved beast that you stirred.

Your hips wriggling and soft moans falling from your mouth as you slowly began to come to. He chuckled against you and reached down to quickly undo his own pants as he pulled away from you. He watched through lidded eyes as you turned your head and slowly began to open your eyes. But it was only as he rubbed the thick head of his cock against your leaking hole that you really came awake. Your eyes widened, his grin stretched until his mouth split his face open, as he gripped your hips and slammed himself straight into you.

The cry you let out was music to his ears and he groaned as his head fell back. Gripping your hips for dear life, he set a brutal pace right from the jump. It was all you could do to grip your sheets and take it. “Hahaha fuckin- hnnnghhh! Wakey wakey babydoll~” he taunted as his cock bullied straight past your womb.

“Even half asleep you take it so well. Good fuckin giiiiirrrlllll~” his voice trailed off into a moan as he fucked into you like he would die if he didn’t. And when you came the first time, a loud wail ripping from your throat, he couldn’t help the sadistic laugh that fell from his mouth as he never once stopped.

*moans loudly*

The way this had me so feral yesterday yall- Bean is always there to bless torment me when I’m terribly horny, it’s literally the fourth time I read this I’m not even jokinggggg 😮‍💨😫 I’m so WEAKKKKK for somno

[riddles-fiddles]

honestly not really picky of what boys because this scenario has been plaguing my mind for FOREVER but maybe idia or lilia teaching afab reader to touch themself or doing it for them for their birthday, like readers never done it before and its their present to the read

honestly just like anyone im so down bad im not even jokinggggg

Characters: Lilia Vanrouge Tags: NSFW, smut, fingering, birthday sex Notes: AFAB gender neutral reader, I was first planning on adding Idia as well but I struggled to fit him in and keep him in character kajsdhaskd I promise to write for him with a similar theme in the future </3

•·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°••·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°••·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You wake up from the feeling of fleeting kisses and playful nips along the curve of your neck, sharp teeth grazing your skin teasingly. "Happy birthday, my love," Lilia whispers to your ear in a husky tone, voice slightly groggy from sleepiness. His chuckle ressonated deep withing your body, now shaking you awake; and when you turn over to face your lover, Lilia seems to glow against the shy rays of sun peeking from the shutters.

"You look more excited than me to celebrate my birthday," you yawn out, nuzzling your nose against Lilia's cheek. He hugs you closer, a low purr of satisfaction falling from his mouth as he glided his fingertips along your spine.

"How could I not be? Today is your special day, and I would be a fool not to cherish they day my special someone enlightened this world."

Lilia revels on the way you laugh with sincere amusement from his bold statement, a playful grin of his own drawing between his lips. "Silly, no need to be all poetic to make me feel special." You taunt, pulling him by the shirt to capture his lips in a searing kiss.

One thing led to another, and when you least expected it, Lilia was hovering over you, hands sliding over all the curves of your body while his lips ravaged your mouth, tongue shamelessly dominating your senses. He pins you down by the wrists, his cold touch firm and assertive while pushing your legs apart by his knees.

"I think this is the perfect time to give you my gift," Lilia pants out when you two finally broke the kiss, searching for air; he looks down at you with a mischeivous gleam on his eyes, sly grin painting him a devilish complexion. Your eyes widen slightly in surprise and suspicion, but can't deny the mysterious prospect of whatever Lilia has planned for you looks too tantalizing, so you respond by nodding slowly, a dumb, kiss-drunk smile gracing your lips.

His lips descend to your neck, trailing languid and feathered kisses to your chest and belly area, the grip on the handles of your hips a searing promise of what was to come. Lilia's eyes are fixated on your face, his pupils dilating every time you squirmed and panted in yearning for more of his ministrations.

His lips brushes against your cheeks in a loving, reassuring promise as his fingers trailed the warm and soft skin of yout thighs, lightly grazing his nails on the middle as he tested your reactions.

"You're so cute, squirming like that..." He sighs out, two of his fingers coming to gently circle around your clit in a slow, steady rythm. "I wonder what other reactions I can get out of you." Pinching your sensitive nub of nerves, he chuckles at how you tremble and gasp in answer. With repeated flickers of his fingers, he works your pleasure further, his eyes never leaving your face.

"L-Lilia..." You moan his name, eliciting a soft, entertained hum from him. "Oh, I would like to hear more of that," his voice is soft, though filled with mischief, and when you feel one of his fingers press down on your pussy, you can't help but shiver in antecipation. Lilia is painfully slow as he inserts his long finger, caressing your walls with dedication, and when you buck against it searching for more friction, he chuckles in amusement. "I see someone is very anxious and ready. Very well, I won't let you hanging for much longer," Lilia thrusts his finger inside at once, another one coming to fill you up nicely. They part and scissor your walls open, his pace slow but reaching deep within, coiling up to press and stroke at your soft, oversensitive point - making you arch your back and moan his name, only igniting his fire further.

He can feel the heat pooling on your stomach, the scent of your growing arousal enticing his hunger. His fingers pick up a frenzied pace as they delved deeper on your pussy, assalting your senses with unfaltering fervor. A low groan melts from his lips as you clench and writhe under his touch, the heavy scent of sex mingling with the lewd wet noises creating an intoxicating bubble around you two. And when the violent crash of waves threatens to wash over you, Lilia captures your lips with his, muffling your moans as his fingers work the pinnacle of your climax, relenting as your legs tremble and close around his arm.

"Oh, my beloved, you barely started your day and you already look spent," Lilia murmurs through a playful smirk, eyes gleaming with pride and devotion as he gazes upon your half-lidded eyes, breath heavy from the intense kiss previously shared. "I do hope this gift will be marked in your memory for some time, but if not... I'm always willing to give you a reminder."

[moonchildstyles]

hiii moonie how have you been!!!

i would love to see maybe the aster proposal one day, or some cutsie period blurb for chiaroscuro (that maybe gets smutty)

but i think it would also be really cute to see elan h’s birthday 🥺 like he mentioned it once offhand but for years it’s just been like any other day and he doesn’t even really realize when it comes around, but she would make him feel so so special baking him a pretty cake and maybe cooking him a special dinner that they have at her place because he’s still a little nervous in like a restaurant setting, and she just wants him to relax and let her do everything even if he’s attached at her hip, maybe they go to a bookstore so she can buy him one of his favourite reads from the library, and he kinda opens up a little more about his past and the things he did on his favourite birthdays and it’s just so cuddly and sweet and she could also take care of him in bed which i think he would just looooove so much and tease her that he wishes it was his birthday every day, but that makes her happy because he actually enjoyed a day of being celebrated by her :(

- 🍓

wait rosemary h's birthday are you JOKINGGGGG:( his present is going to the bookstore and having a special little dinner at her house:( that is actually making me SICKKKKK inside like I love this actually sosososo much :(

[theeslutintheroom]

guys, i am thinking again

like why do people wonder why benedetta didn’t date lorenzo during their time on ‘Baby’ or after

their age difference isn’t severe, no.

but during ‘Baby’ , Benedetta was twenty years old and Lorenzo was eighteen!!!

I wouldn’t date an eighteen year old at twenty???

are you jokinggggg

plus benedetta likes older men - she has already said so. and they are good friends.

like why do people obsess about their ‘relationship’ so much??

[kigu]

i love you so much im so sorry im only now just catching up on ur posts but im for life ok? im not leaving evar. kisses ur scars (if thats ok)

Everyone look at this corny shit

IM JOKINGGGGG MOOOOOOOO like Saying Mo extended I'm not moo'ing at you. Unless you want that. Moooo~ 🐄 ANYWAY I'm better now but this means so much... I'm here for you too! I'm here for all of you! I'm so grateful to have wonderful people like you in my life :3 I love you Mo

[if-lost-return-to-remus]

Sup losers?

My name is Sirius Black

They/he

Bisexual, I guess?

Engaged‼️‼️

I’m 17

Gryffindor

FRENCH 🗣️🇫🇷🥖‼️

•-•-•-•-•-•

Joined cause this looks cool.

I like Dogs, uhhh pizza, DAVID BOWIE 😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰💋💋💋🤭🤭🤭‼️‼️‼️‼️ my friends and maybe Reg (JOKINGGGGG, Reg don’t kill me)

Best friends with pookie @james-potter-yall @r3mussy @r3gulus-a-black

Yeah I have nothing more to say. Enjoy my rants.

•-•-•-•-•

This is a rp account, if you do not like it, leave! Check out: @james-potter-yall @evan-just-another-slytherin @r3mussy @r3gulus-a-black @secretly-belle @pxn-dorxx @d0maedows