#LGBTQ+ sports events

[townpostin]

Tata Steel Hosts Inclusive Athletics Meet for Pride Month

Transperson Employees Showcase Talent at JRD Tata Sports Complex Company celebrates diversity through sports, promoting inclusivity and equal opportunities. JAMSHEDPUR – Tata Steel’s Sports Department organized an athletics meet for transperson employees at the JRD Tata Sports Complex, marking Pride Month celebrations across its locations. The event saw enthusiastic participation from 52 athletes…

[bidotorg]

Gather 'round and learn about the incredible story of Gottfried von Cramm! #MarchMadness 🎾https://bi.org/en/articles/famous-bis-gottfried-von-cramm

[genderkoolaid]

In Los Angeles, one of the queerest cities in the United States, there are surprisingly few spaces where trans masculine individuals can find solidarity and community. For some, trying to fit into queer spaces after transitioning can be an isolating experience once they start to pass as men. “In general, people can’t necessarily look at me and know that I’m trans,” says Devyn Payne, jumping rope outside to warm up ahead of his match. It’s now different for him to enter LGBTQ+ rooms where lesbians might read him as a straight man or gay men might not recognize him as trans. “Passing as a Black man, my experience has been different in sapphic spaces ... I don’t necessarily feel welcomed [anymore].” The 27-year-old used to wrestle competitively in high school, but three years after coming out as trans he is now rediscovering his joy in the sport and reconnecting with the queer community in a different way — tonight by wrestling another trans man in a neon green jock strap under the alter ego “T-Payne.”

“Before I went to my first Trans Dudes of LA event, I had no trans men friends,” Payne says. “I can’t necessarily relate to [cisgender men]. So it’s great to have people who I can talk about the changes of being on testosterone.” [...] In this room full of transgender people, the weight of a gender binary disappears. Masculinity becomes play material, a performance to bend and break. People dressed for the part exude “Brokeback Mountain” homo-eroticism, another pair act out a construction worker role-play in a BDSM scene in which a plastic hammer is shoved in the mouth. Cal Dobbs, dressed for the part as a judge for the tournament, wears a white wig reminiscent of the founding fathers and a thong under his black robes. (“RBG, classic sex symbol,” Dobbs explained of his costume inspiration from the late Supreme Court Justice.) “Trans men and trans masculine people are redefining masculinity,” says the 27-year-old, who was the first trans person to run across the transcontinental United States. “[Wrestling] is a hyper masculine sport, [but the competitors] bring an element of humor and romance and cuteness to it that makes everyone feel really comfy and safe.” [...] In the weeks leading up to the big performance, Elías Naranjo and Arón Sánchez-Vidal had practiced their wrestling routine weekly for a month, familiarizing themselves with consent and boundaries to make sure they wouldn’t hurt each other. “I was asking them, ‘Is it OK if we kiss? Is it OK if I pick you up and grind on you?’ And he was like, ‘Yeah, I’m open to it,’ ” says Naranjo. But on the spot the two also decided to improvise as Sánchez-Vidal took his testosterone shot on the wrestling mat — a moment met with thunderous applause. The two entered the ring waving Mexican and Peruvian flags dressed as vaqueros. “EL VAQUERO... STR8 4 PAY?” read a sign that Sánchez-Vidal’s girlfriend had made to cheer on her partner. “There’s so much in being brown and trans and queer,” says Naranjo. “We want to show up and take up space ... we’re Peruvian, hot and trans.” The two won best partners, splitting a $150 cash prize at the end of the tournament. Inclusiveness was on the forefront of co-organizers Miller and Bandrowski’s minds as they planned this event. They prepped over 200 hot dogs to feed their hungry fans, a hot and heavy playlist to rally their attendees, and hired ASL interpreters to make the event accessible for deaf members of the queer community. This was their biggest event yet.

[the-cimmerians]

On Thursday, Governor Tim Walz sat down for an interview with author Glennon Doyle, her partner Abby Wambach, and her sister Amanda Doyle during a taping of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. The conversation touched on key election issues such as abortion and gun violence. However, midway through the podcast, the discussion shifted to queer youth, specifically transgender kids. Rather than shying away from the topic, Walz delivered a passionate, several-minute-long defense of LGBTQ+ rights, including transgender healthcare. He outlined his vision for the administration’s role in protecting these rights.

The question came from Abby Wambach, who turned to the topic after discussing Walz’ founding of a Gay-Straight Alliance at his high school in the mid-90s. Wambach asked, “Well, thank you Governor Walz so much for protecting even in the late ’90s queer kids. And so I have to ask, what will a Harris-Walz administration do to protect our queer kids today?”

Walz discussed positive legislative actions, such as codifying hate crime laws and increasing education, while emphasizing the importance of using his platform to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. He then addressed the role of judges in safeguarding medical care for queer youth: “I also think what Abby, your point is on this, and I was just mentioning, we need to appoint judges who uphold the right to marriage, uphold the right to be who you are, making sure that’s the case, uphold the right to get the medical care that you need. We should not be naive. Those appointments are really, really important. I think that’s what the vice president is committed to.”

He didn’t stop there. Instead, he directly pivoted to calling out national anti-transgender attack ads which have flooded the airwaves across the United States, often airing besides NFL football games and other major sporting events. The Trump administration has spent upwards of $20 million on such ads, with outside organizations spending $80 million on various races.

“We see it now; the hate has shifted to the trans community. They see that as an opportunity. If you’re watching any sporting events right now, you see that Donald Trump’s closing arguments are to demonize a group of people for being who they are,” Walz said. He continued, “We’re out there trying to make the case that access to healthcare, a clean environment, manufacturing jobs, and keeping your local hospital open are what people are really concerned about. They’re running millions of dollars of ads demonizing folks who are just trying to live their lives.”

He emphasized the importance of representation and the impact of coming out, particularly for parents who may not have been exposed to LGBTQ+ identities and therefore might lack understanding. Walz pointed out, “Look, you’re reaching a lot of folks in hearing this, and for some people it’s not even out of malice and it’s not a pejorative, it’s out of ignorance. They maybe have not been around people. You’ve all seen this, however it takes you to get there, but I know it’s a little frustrating when you see folks have an epiphany when their child comes out to them.”

The strong defense of queer and trans youth came just one day after Kamala Harris participated in a Fox News interview with Brett Baier. Baier, who maintained a hostile tone throughout, pressed Harris on transgender issues with his second question. Rather than adopting the Republican framing, as some Democrats have done recently, Harris emphasized that the law requires medically necessary care for transgender inmates and criticized Trump for spending $20 million on ads focused on an issue far removed from the priorities of most Americans. Her response prompted Baier to quickly shift to another topic.

In back-to-back days, the Harris-Walz ticket has made it clear they will not back down on queer and trans rights, despite the barrage of anti-trans attack ads. This stance is likely reinforced by the repeated failure of similar ads in recent races, including Wisconsin’s Supreme Court election, legislative races in Pennsylvania and Virginia, Georgia’s Herschel Walker vs. Raphael Warnock election, Andy Beshear’s reelection in Kentucky, and the 2023 losses of 70% of Moms for Liberty and Project 1776 school board candidates across the United States. For transgender people, these interviews are likely a welcome relief after some wavering responses from other Democratic candidates in swing states.

[extraliga-related]

With everything that's been going on lately, here's a short non-comprehensive accumulation of things that could be called progress regarding relations between men's hockey and being queer:

The 🇦🇺 AIHL's Melbourne Mustangs, advocating for trans rights in sports since 2017, and the same team in 2023, donning pride jerseys designed by former goalie (and twin sister of Ty) Tia Wishart who is part of the LGBTQ community.

Jase Polglase of the AIHL's Central Coast Rhinos who puts pride tape on his stick every single game.

Robert Dowd and Marc-Olivier Vallerand having a dance after a win with the Sheffield Steelers.

Starting off with individual efforts, the 🇬🇧 EIHL has since extended their pride event to the duration of a full weekend following a conjoint initiative by the teams' fanbases in 2019.

Zach Sullivan, one of the few out queer athletes in the sport, felt supported enough by his team to come out as bisexual ahead of the Manchester Storm's pride game in 2020.

Danish goalie Jon Lee-Olsen came out as gay a year prior and was reportedly supported by his teammates.

The 🇸🇪 SHL lead the way, awarding the cause a full week since 2019 with elaborate campaigns and getting refs as well as coaches involved. It's a colorful sight.

While Pride Games are at present not an official part of the schedule, several 🇩🇪 DEL teams are joining in. Augsburg and Köln do their part, Berlin has one of the dedicated queer fanclubs and visibly stands against homophobia since at least 2016.

As of 2022 the entire league, as well as a growing number of clubs in the tiers below, cooperate with Hockey is Diversity e.V.. So does the Para Ice Hockey National Team, including Jörg Wedde, who also keeps pride tape on his equipment.

🇫🇮 Liiga's TPS added these stunning jerseys to the mix.

While all the aforementioned teams already wear the jerseys for at least one full game, IF Kiruna of the Swedish 3rd league stepped it up several notches. In 2014 they've decided to wear rainbow jerseys for a full season in support of the LGBTQ community. Since then they've made the rainbow a permanent fixture in their logo and club identity.

___

Plenty of clubs out there hosting events where queer people are given a platform and shown support in a multitude of ways that aren't merely empty words.

And even if it's not part of general discussions within a league, you've got voices who are willing to speak up.

[shapeshiftersvt]

Well!

This sucks.

In 2016, Shapeshifters was two and a half years old when the country we operate in seemed to elect one particular asshole. Today, this company is ten and a half years old, and the same damn asshole is back again.

Under that first term Shapeshifters went from a two-person, back-of-the-dining-room operation to a production floor in a converted warehouse to the beautiful studio we're in now. We sent chest binders in anonymized packaging all over the country and the world for those four years. We hired trans people in our town and purchased services from queer folks in our network. We left behind the landlord who objected to our Black Lives Matter banner and hired models for photoshoots who knew what we were about and were excited to join the work.

Then we took a damn breath. We found stability in our little studio, over the last four years. We experimented with prints and patterns and fashion lines. We worked on new projects with new people.

It sucks that we're back here again.

And: our job now, as always, is to connect you with what you need and connect each other with what we all do.

There's a lot of good advice out there about keeping yourself as safe and healthy and stable as possible, from a lot of activists and poets and people much better at it than me. I speak from my position as a business owner from a family of economists, who's been trained to watch the money. Buy queer when you can, buy local when you can. Keep the money close, trade the same $20 back and forth with your friends for services, re-use and repair what you have.

Buy a binder, or a sew-your-own-binder kit, ora sports bra, or a binding dress, or some cryptid art from us here:

Find a queer-owned business for what you need at Everywhere is Queer:

And also from Hey Famm:

If you are located in or near Western Massachusetts, find some queer folks to support via Bloom Local:

and if you have a few bucks a month to spare, maybe support a trans person on Patreon. I suggest friend of the shop @neolithicsheep :

and Mercury Stardust, the Trans Handy Ma'am, who is a great resource when you need to fix something yourself:

Spend your money for good whenever you have the chance. It matters.

And you matter, too.

Keep talking to us, keep talking to each other, keep in touch with your people. Keep building these systems and these structures and these networks. We're going to need all of them.

And, hey: if you're trans and starting a business, reach out. I'd love to help folks in the early stages, connect you to resources, pull you over some of the hurdles we faced. There's a lot more room for queer business owners now than there was eight years ago. Let's take up that space.

Keep building, fam. It matters and it's worth doing. Every time.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Erin Reed at Erin In The Morning:

After a record-breaking year for anti-trans legislation, 2025 is shaping up to be even more challenging for transgender and queer people across the United States. A legislative tracker maintained by Erin In The Morning and other volunteers has found that nearly 120 anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ+ bills have already been filed in states nationwide ahead of the 2025 legislative season. This far surpasses the 80 bills filed by this time in 2023, signaling another historic wave of legal attacks on the ability of transgender people to move, live, and exist freely as themselves in public.

The bulk of the bills so far come from Texas and Missouri, two of the earlier states that release prefilled legislation ahead of the 2025 session. However, states like South Carolina, New Hampshire, Georgia, Wyoming, and Montana all feature multiple anti-LGBTQ+ bills, with more being added every day. Thirteen states in all have seen anti-trans bills filed: Alabama, Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, Ohio, South Carolina, Texas, Washington, and Wyoming.

This year, several state bills aim to strip legal recognition from transgender people entirely. Between 2022 and 2024, ten states passed such legislation or enacted similar policies, with devastating consequences for affected communities. In Kansas, Florida, and Texas, transgender individuals are now unable to update their driver’s licenses, and in some cases, states have begun reverting gender marker changes that were made years or even decades ago. Transgender people who have lived as their legal gender for years may face forced reversion of their identification documents if these new bills are enacted. Similar legislation has already been introduced in Texas, Missouri, South Carolina, and Wyoming.

In many states that have passed such legislation, bathroom bans have also been attached. Indeed, in the initial rush of bills, several bathroom bans can be found that target transgender adults. Two Texas bills would allow lawsuits if transgender people are encountered in bathrooms. One bill in Montana would bar transgender people from publicly owned bathrooms of their gender identity. One bill in Missouri would even make it “unlawful public discrimination” to allow a transgender person in bathrooms of their gender identity.

Book bans are seeing a resurgence in the prefiled bills. In 2024, PEN America found 10,046 instances of individual books banned, affecting 4,231 unique titles. Banned books include the Handmaids Tale, Flamer, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Gender Queer, and more. Texas features several such bills this year, despite the state being rebuked by higher courts for book bans in 2024. Another common type of anti-trans legislation that is common is sports bans. Many bills aim to expand existing restrictions to even broader contexts. In Texas, one proposed bill seeks to deny private sporting events access to the state’s Events Trust Fund—a source of professional funding for major sporting events—if they allow trans athletes to compete. Other bills aim to extend sports bans to new age groups. For instance, a bill in Wyoming would expand its current ban, which applies to students in grade 7 and above, to include kindergarteners.

2025 will be more of the same anti-trans extremist balderdash bills across America, especially in red states. Anti-trans bills range from bathroom bans to forced outing to trans erasure via gender marker change rules.

[coochiequeens]

For a community that claims to be so oppressed they have no hesitation to spend time and money over stupid stuff but suing over comments after guy claimed he "identified his dachshund dog as “gender-fluid” and that he had put a dress on the pet" is a new level of waste of time and resources

Elizabeth Pitt made comments that were alleged to have been transphobic during a video meeting last year

Jonathan Ames Legal Editor Monday September 16 2024

Local authority bosses must pay a lesbian social worker more than £63,000 after she was disciplined for having “nasty opinions” about a colleague’s “gender-fluid” dog.

Elizabeth Pitt was reported to managers at Cambridgeshire county council for making allegedly transphobic remarks during a video meeting with the council’s “LGBTQIA+ group” last year.

An employment tribunal heard that Pitt made the comments after a colleague said he identified his dachshund dog as “gender-fluid” and that he had put a dress on the pet to prompt debate. Pitt and another lesbian colleague were reported for commenting on the revelation in a “really aggressive tone”, in which they voiced views that were deemed to be “non-inclusive and transphobic”.

Council bosses banned Pitt from contacting members of the group or attending their meetings. In response, the social worker sued the local authority for discrimination and harassment over her so-called gender critical views.

The tribunal backed Pitt’s claim and awarded the social worker more than £55,000 in damages and £8,000 costs. The judge also recommended that the council change its staff training to include a section on ���freedom of belief and speech in the workplace”

Pitt and her colleague were also criticised for having commented negatively on “trans women participating in women’s sports and sharing women’s spaces”.

Evidence submitted to the tribunal showed that colleagues had taken issue with Pitt’s “nasty opinions” and that a formal complaint had been made. At a meeting with council managers, Pitt denied having been aggressive but accepted she could be “direct”. She said the purpose of the group was to discuss that type of subject.

Managers produced a written report that described Pitt as having been “perceived to be non-inclusive and transphobic”. It was also found by the internal meeting that the social worker had “caused significant offence” and been “particularly inappropriate and ill-judged”.

Pitt was told that her comments had a “detrimental impact on the mental health and wellbeing of the complainants”. She was banned from contacting any of the LGBTQIA+ group or attend its events.

That move prompted Pitt to raise the council’s formal grievance procedure, claiming that council bosses failed to explain “why it has been decided that there was an issue with the way my beliefs were expressed”. Pitt argued that the council’s reaction to her expression of gender-critical beliefs legally constituted harassment and direct discrimination.

Council bosses accepted that her gender-critical views amounted to a “philosophical belief” but they argued that the manner in which she and her colleague “chose to promote their views” had been “aggressive and confrontational”.

In his ruling, the judge, Paul Michell, said the tribunal agreed with Pitt’s lawyer that the evidence “unambiguously” showed that “at least part of the reason” for the council’s conduct towards her was her “gender-critical beliefs”. Pitt was awarded nearly £30,000 in loss of earnings and £22,000 compensation for injury to feelings, with interest added.

Michell recommended that council bosses include a section on freedom of belief and speech in the workplace in its mandatory training for staff within the next six months.

A council spokesman said the authority aimed “to create a safe, inclusive and compassionate environment for people to work in and recognise this needs to be balanced with everyone being entitled to express their own views and beliefs”. The spokesman added: “We will reflect carefully on this final outcome, as well as undertaking a review of our policies and procedures accordingly

[cordycepsfem]

Today in: “Pride isn’t for gay people anymore”: I went to the website for the Pride event in the big city near me. You’ll never guess what I found.

We acknowledge and honor that the Stonewall Riots, the historical origin of Pride, were in response to police harassment of LGBTQ+ people, especially those who were trans, nonbinary, and people of color.

That sounds super incorrect. For one thing:

… so no, there were not a bunch of heckin’ cool smol bean enbies at the Stonewall Riots. There weren’t really any trans people as we understand trans today - they were transsexuals, so they were also usually gay.

For another thing: it was not solely in commemoration of the Riots. Pride was also a demonstration for equal rights.

But let’s see who Boston thinks Pride is for now:

“Memorialize the queer, trans, Black, Indigenous, and People of Color…, activists at the forefront of the 20th century lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, plus… movement.”

So we can’t, by this standard, memorialize Brenda Howard. She’s called the Mother of Pride, but she was white and Jewish and didn’t call herself queer. She was very outspoken about being bisexual.

Or any of the other founders of Pride, who were also white, and half lesbian, half gay men. Some are still alive, so I get not being able to “memorialize” them, but really, you can’t spare a breath for them?

How about Barbara Gittings, described as “the mother of the LGBT civil rights movement”? She’s dead, but again, she’s white, and she was a lesbian, not “queer.”

Or Edie Windsor and Thea Spyer?

How about Gilbert Baker, who sewed the first rainbow pride flag and said it covered everyone? It didn’t need to be subsumed by every niche demographic, it was for all of us.

Who are these mysterious QTBIPOC who seem to have done all the heavy lifting, to the point where they’re being fetishized and commemorated at a massive Pride event like Boston’s? Why don’t we know their names? Who are the few intersex individuals who don’t mind being callously lumped in with a group who uses them as a “gotcha”?

The names that come to mind when I think of today’s activism include Eli Erlick (confirmed rapist), Chase Strangio (fights in court so boys can change with girls and play in their sports and children can receive net negative life-altering drugs and surgical procedures), Elliot Page (poster boy for sadness), Dylan Mulvaney (he thinks he knows what a woman is), Erin Reed (scare-mongering nutjob who can’t read a legal bill to save his life)… and then I’m out. Who else falls into this stunning and brave category?

Also, anyone find it a little unpleasant that these “queer” people have now superseded the “LGB” people mentioned as an afterthought in the second part of the paragraph?

Whoever this Pride’s for, it’s not for LGB people anymore.

[whumpty-dumpty-doo]

We Are TroubleD – “Try to Forget Him” (Pre-capture)

Written as a part of whumperofworlds' WoW's Birthday Whump Event! 2024

Day 7 and 12 (my chosen prompts are bolded) - Bloodied knuckles / Wounded / "Is that blood?!", Magic exhaustion / Collapsed / "So tired..." / Alternate prompt: Poison

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Event page | My event participation masterpost | “We Are TroubleD” Masterpost | Previous | Next

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Content warnings: Alcohol, blood, drinking, emotional whump, heartache from breakups, injuries, jealousy, off-screen homophobia mention, pining after unrequited love, self-loathing, smoking, swearing

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                Tonight was going to be hard. There was no other choice though, Tristan had to do it. Only about a week had passed since his latest boyfriend, Spencer, had broken up with him, and Tristan needed help to move on. When Darius had first suggested the night out at Dorothy’s, Tristan wasn’t too sure… he hadn’t visited the LGBTQ+ nightclub in months, but Darius insisted that getting back out into the scene would be healthy and good for him.

                “It’ll bolster your confidence!” Darius had said. “You need to be reminded that you’re one hot son of a bitch. One stupid boy can’t take that away from you.”

                “And what if no one there wants me?”

                “Then you’ll still have a great night hanging out with me, and that’s worth something, right?”

                Tristan had mulled it over a bit, but Darius was right; he normally had pretty good intuition about these things. What was the worst that could happen? Maybe there was someone new and better out there for him. Either way, he was relieved that Darius committed to go with him. Tristan felt fragile, emotional, and raw, and having his best friend by his side would surely help to ease his aching heart.

                The night of the outing arrived, and Tristan found himself fretting over his outfit in his bedroom mirror. He was sporting a teal Hawaiian shirt with a tasteful tropical leaf pattern on it, chartreuse shorts, and brightly colored socks sticking out of red high-top converse. He wasn’t going to win a “best dressed” competition by any means, but for him it was a lot of effort.

                He had never been a super fashionable guy—that was definitely Darius’ realm— but he hoped that he looked alright for the evening. It was as much peacocking as he could bring himself to do. The outfit hopefully said “Hey, I’m a fun guy! Super chill and laid back, just like someone on a tropical beach vacation! Please talk to me!”.

                The trick was figuring out how risqué he wanted to be. For him, such a decision came in the form of an obscenely scandalous choice of either buttoning up the top button of his shirt or leaving it open to expose some of his chest. He did and undid the thing several times, but simply couldn’t decide on the look. With a sigh, he gave up. It’s not like it’d make much of a difference, anyway.

                Tristan glanced down at his watch and made a noise of discontentment; it was later than he wanted it to be. Hastily he decided on leaving the shirt buttoned, then headed off down the hall toward their bathroom to collect Darius.

                Something small, circular, and black startled him on the floor, and he flinched back in surprise thinking that it was a spider. Quickly he realized that it was nothing more than one of Darius’ many elastic hair ties. Once his heart stopped racing, Tristan bent down and scooped it up. He figured he’d just toss it into the drawer by the bathroom sink, but something stopped him.

                He twirled the little band between his fingers and was reminded of the time that he had come back from class completely exhausted and down in the dumps. Things really hadn’t gone his way that day- he had multiple projects due that week, one of his professors had added onto that heap by giving him yet another tough assignment, and things in his personal life… weren’t great.

                He had flopped down on the living room couch and given up on the world for the night when something small hit and bounced off his shoulder- a hair tie. Across the room was Darius, leaning against the doorframe trying to play it cool and appear innocent.

                “You looked sad.” Darius observed. Tristan vented the situation to him, and Darius patiently listened, but after the fact he shot another hair tie at him. And another. And another. Apparently, he had squirreled away an entire handful.

                At first Tristan was irritated, and he almost snapped at Darius until he saw the playful smirk creeping across his friend’s face. Darius was playing with him, trying to get him to loosen up a bit and blow off steam. Tristan relented… Laughter was pretty good medicine.

                It wasn’t long before they were engaged in a full-on war in their apartment, complete with furniture flipped over to hide behind as shields as they flung elastic hair ties and rubber bands at each other. It was stupid, but it was fun, and it did in fact melt away Tristan’s stress, making it easier for him to later focus and buckle down to get through that hellish week of work.   

                He needed that now- extra strength to get through the night. It sucked to be on your own again. It’s not like he had dated Spencer for long, and he wasn’t really vibing with him much anyway, but it was the thought of being alone that scared Tristan. He wanted that safety. That stress relief. That companionship…

                Tristan slipped the hair tie around his wrist and quietly decided that it was a good luck charm for the night… A simple reminder that it was okay to let loose and have fun, even when things seemed hard. He was glad that Darius took the time to assure him of things like that.

                … Plus, Darius had a million hair ties anyway. He wouldn’t miss this one. Tristan could probably collect a whole sleeve of them if he picked up every one he randomly found around their house.

                The bathroom door was still shut. Really? Darius was still getting ready? They were going to the club, not the Met Gala. Tristan knocked.

                “Almost done!” Darius called.

                “Hurry up!” Tristan barked.

                The door lazily creaked open, revealing Darius messing with his eyeliner in the mirror.

                “Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. Being beautiful takes time.”

                Tristan cocked his head to the side. Darius was hopeless. “The universe has given you all the time you needed and then some.” he said, and he meant it, especially when Darius turned around with a flattered twinkle in his eye.

                “Awww, thanks!” he chirped. He probably thought that Tristan was just being nice, but really, truly, Tristan thought that Darius Astor was one of the most beautiful boys he had ever laid eyes on.

                Tonight Darius looked like he would fit in at any goth-themed event in town, which really wasn’t too far from his normal MO aside from looking a little more rave-ready. He wore a cropped black tanktop that hugged his chest in all the right ways and showed off where defined abs would be if he exercised more. Fishnet sleeves trailed down his arms and ended at his black-painted nails. Tripp pants made for a striking silhouette that Darius didn’t often flaunt (he tended to be a skinny jeans guy most of the time), especially with all the bits and bobs dangling down. Those pants always cracked Tristan up- they were so over the top with their straps and chains. On the bright side, with all the resulting jingling, Darius would be hard to lose in a crowd.

                Darius really had nailed the look, right down to his accessories- a matching studded belt and bracelet, a spiked choker, a face full of tastefully spooky makeup, and of course his signature platform leather boots.

                As per usual, he was a vision. A gorgeous sight to behold. Every inch of him was flawless.

                Tristan stared. Man, maybe his stiffest competition for the night would be Darius. With looks like that, everyone would fall for him. After all, he certainly had Tristan’s attention.

                … Wait— O-oh… no… No. Not like that.

                No.

                No.

                Not again…

                Tristan tossed his head, physically shaking the thought away as if he hadn’t considered it a million times before. Fuck. No. He shouldn’t think about Darius that way. He shouldn’t.

                Luckily he was interrupted by Darius studying his look.

                “Ooh, tropical? That’s fun.” he said. “I love it, but why so conservative?”

                “Huh?”

                Darius tapped at his sternum, indicating the top button of Tristan’s shirt.

                Tristan shifted. “I wasn’t sure if I should open it or not. What do you think?”

                “Definitely unbutton it. Show off a little!”

                There really wasn’t much to show off, but Tristan didn’t need to be told twice. If Darius thought that was the better style, he’d listen. He undid his top, and the two were off.

                                              ***

                Even before getting inside, Tristan could tell that Dorothy’s was hopping. It was to be expected though, as almost any club on a Saturday night would be bustling. All the same, it really had been a while since Tristan had been there… he had forgotten just how crazy the crowds could be. Thankfully he knew that soon things would settle down as the masses split up either to sit and watch the drag show downstairs, or to head up to the club’s second story to dance. He and Darius hadn’t even gotten to the front door when he heard someone calling their names.

                “Tristan! Darius! Hey!!” he perked up at the sound of the familiar voice. Was that—?            

                A girl about Darius’ age bounded up to them, and the boys recognized her immediately: Cici, one of their closest friends, and Darius’ ex-girlfriend. Her long brilliant red hair popped against her sparkly lavender crop top and y2k-chic denim bellbottoms adorned with a stenciled-on star pattern.              

                “Oh hey!” Darius’ eyes lit up at the sight of her and he reached out and pulled her into a hello hug, then kissed her on the cheek in greeting. It was just a quick little peck, but all the same, Tristan pretended not to notice. Despite the two having broken up from their romantic relationship not too long ago, Darius and Cici were still close. Very close. That was fine… But like… did he have to kiss her?

                Cici didn’t seem to mind. She laughed and gave Darius a gentle shove back in response.

                “Careful,” she warned, though her tone was sarcastic and playful. “If you act like that then people will think we’re still together... Or worse: straight.”

                Darius flashed a cheeky grin, a mischievous look that could get him into trouble just as easily as it could get him out of it.

                “That’s bi-erasure.” he joked, and Cici shook her head fondly. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

                “Same as you, Lover Boy.” Cici replied. “I’m looking for my rebound. You can’t distract me. I’m the pan with a plan.” They both snickered.

                “Me? Looking for a rebound?” Darius scoffed. “Babe, there’s simply no replacing you.”

                Ah. They were flirting. They were broken up, yet they were still flirting with each other…

                Tristan instantly felt like a third wheel. His shoulders sank and he stared at the two of them, though he didn’t mean to watch so intently.

                Cici was a beautiful, loving girl, and he never was surprised that Darius had fallen so hard for her. She had only been a positive influence on him, and Lord did Darius need that when she first came into their lives. By some miracle, she had managed to mostly calm him down from his rebellious streak and really bring him out of his shell in a way that Tristan had never fully been able to. She was a bright light in Darius’ weird—and at the time, morose—world, and undoubtedly she had changed him for the better.

                Their relationship had been solid for ages, but over time cracks began to form. Small issues compounded, and after a while it became clear that they both had aspects of themselves that they wanted to improve upon or explore. Darius still didn’t fully have a handle on some of his self-destructive habits, and Cici began to realize just how much she was attracted to other women.

                There was no falling out or blowup that ended things, the two just decided that it was best to go at it alone for a while as they figured themselves out and grew up a bit. Maybe once they had lived a little more, they would find their way back together, but only time would tell.

                Despite the split being mutual, it wound up being a lot harder on Darius than he anticipated. Cici had been his longest romantic partner to date, lasting a few years. He missed her company in that respect but was thankful to still have her friendship and support. It was a relief that they were still so close, because Tristan figured that things would get super weird and awkward in the friend group if one or both of them suddenly decided to leave. Cici had been the one to bring them together in the first place; it wouldn’t be right to have her or Darius duck out over personal issues.  

                …

                But again, did he have to kiss her?

                Tristan’s ears felt hot, and he finally came to his senses enough to realize that he was still looking at the pair. He snapped back to reality just in time, because Cici turned her attention to him and stepped around Darius to give Tristan a hug as well. She always wanted to make sure that everyone felt welcome and seen.

                As he hugged her back and said his hellos, he prayed that she missed how flustered he was. And like… why? It made no sense for him to be so out of sorts, especially around her, but tonight he felt caught off guard by her presence. He really hoped it would just be him and Darius, but… the more the merrier he supposed…?

                The three of them headed inside, and it wasn’t long before they decided to go upstairs to check out the bar and dance area. Cici came and went, occasionally striking up chats with lonely-looking girls, but she and Darius kept meeting back up and getting lost in conversation. It was bugging Tristan, and he couldn’t figure out why. Maybe it was how he felt like he disappeared when the two started talking, as if the wall swallowed him up and he was nothing more than a decoration in the background- ever present, but ultimately ignored. He really didn’t need that tonight.

                Eventually he gave up, resigned to the fact that Darius had been lost to the land of the ex. Whatever, they could catch up if they wanted to. Tristan had nothing against Cici, but he had his own priorities tonight and really didn’t feel like hanging around her. He hoped he wasn’t being rude when he excused himself to go grab a drink from the bar.

                “What would you like?” The bartender asked him.

                “A White Russian.” Tristan said bitterly, and the irony wasn’t lost on him. Frankly he also would have enjoyed Sex on the Beach. 

                Stop it, Tris. Stop it.

                The server slid his drink over. Maybe Tristan was going a little hard right out of the gate, but he didn’t care.

                As he sipped the cocktail, he scoped out the other clubgoers. There were plenty of cute guys around, but no one really struck his fancy or seemed like they were open to talking. To be honest, Tristan didn’t really know if he was, either.

                His vision kept finding its way back over to Cici and Darius, who were standing close together by the stairwell. Cici beamed and played with her hair while Darius busted up laughing at whatever she had just said.

                Tristan had seen them like that a thousand times before. Afterall, they had been together for years. Why, why, why then was it simply eating him alive tonight? It was so much easier to keep his feelings in check when Darius and Cici were dating, but Darius didn’t belong to her anymore.

                He didn’t belong to anybody.

                That was the problem.

                A song started playing from the DJ booth- something with an industrial sound as heavy as the thoughts pounding in Tristan’s mind.

                I don't wanna share this space                 I don't wanna force a smile                 This one girl taps my insecurities                 Don't know if it's real or if I'm spiraling

                Charlie XCX. Great music, great album. Horrible time for that particular song to play. Tristan forced himself to tear away his gaze and took a large swig of his drink. He needed to forget it. All of it. He needed to forget about the relationship that he so desperately wanted. He needed to forget how lonely he was. He really needed to forget—

                “Hey bud, how you doing?”

                Darius. While Tristan was lost in thought, he must have come over. The boy hopped up on the stool beside him, his eyes gleaming with that mischievous sparkle that implied that he had just said something cheeky and maybe a pinch irreverent. He must have sent Cici off with some smart aleck remark or groan-worthy pun. He was alone now, though.

                Tristan couldn’t look at him. “I’m fine.” he replied, not peering up from the glass in his hand.

                “Are you?” God, Darius was good. It was hard to hide anything from him. That was to be expected from your best friend, though, especially when Tristan was so horrible at masking. Darius leaned in a bit, studying him a little more intensely.

                Tristan ran his hand down his face hoping to wipe his expression clear of any sort of outward turmoil, then turned to look at him finally.

                “Yeah, I just…” he wasn’t quite sure where he was going with that sentence, trailing off and ending it with a sigh.

                Darius softened and gave him an understanding look. “Hey, I’m sorry.”

                What was he apologizing for? There was no way he could know that Tristan was thinking about—

                “But screw Spencer. You don’t need him.” 

                Right… Spencer… That was who Tristan was supposed to be upset about tonight. That was who he was supposed to be mourning. That was who he was supposed to want. It was so stupid and fake. So disingenuous…

                He took another sip of his drink, then nodded halfheartedly.

                “You’re right.” Tristan said “I don’t need him. I don’t— I dunno what I need.”

                'Cause I couldn't even be her if I tried                 I'm opposite, I'm on the other side                 I feel all these feelings I can't control                 Oh no, don't know why

                Darius reached out and lightly tapped the back of his knuckle against Tristan’s free hand, sending a tingling spark through him.

                “You can start with a friend.” Darius said, a gentle smile touching his lips.

                Fuck that smile. Fuck that confidence. Fuck that tenderness. It just made Tristan want him more.

                All this sympathy is just a knife                 Why I can't even grit my teeth and lie?                 I feel all these feelings I can't control                 Oh no, don't know

                Tristan was transfixed by Darius’ gaze. Those warm chocolate eyes held him captive, silently telling him that everything was going to be okay… or at least that’s what Tristan wanted to believe.

                “Y-yeah.” Tristan said at last, breaking eye contact. “Thanks.” he chugged the rest of his drink and set the glass down on the counter with a clink.

                “Any time, Tris. I’m here for you.”

                The two sat in silence for a minute or two, Darius peoplewatching and Tristan waiting for some sort of buzz. The song switched to something bouncier and fun, and Tristan noticed Darius nodding along to it absentmindedly.

                Fuck it. He’d shoot his shot.

                “Do you wanna dance?” Tristan asked timidly.

                Darius swiveled back around and regarded him fondly. He wasn’t much one for dancing on his own, but he’d indulge almost any of Tristan’s requests if he asked. He’d do a lot of things for Tristan that he wouldn’t do for anyone else.

                “You coming with me?” he asked.

                “Of course!” Tristan hopped up from his seat and reached out for Darius. His friend took hold of his hands and slid down after him, then they made their way over to the dance floor.

                The crowd’s energy was vivacious and undeniably electric- beautiful people were throwing their arms up in the air and shaking their cares away. It would be impossible to be sad in such company.

                The boys squeezed through the sea of dancers and made their way back to a corner of the room near the video screens. Tristan had intentionally led Darius away from the view of the bar and lounge area, so they’d be relatively hidden and hard to spot.

                Every thump of the bass from the speakers shook Tristan right through his chest, consuming his very being. It didn’t take long at all for him to lose himself in the beat, and his other senses were quickly hijacked as well between the lights spinning dizzyingly overhead, the fog machines, the blinking colors on the ground, the videos on the wall, the disco ball hanging from the ceiling…

                It was overwhelming. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t process anything. He couldn’t feel.

                It was perfect. Maybe he didn’t need that drink after all. Maybe he just needed to be here.

                A blast of the delicately scented fog belched from one of the machines and momentarily swallowed Tristan’s vision. The rest of the club disappeared entirely aside from the flashing colors in the mist. He was alone, but only for a second. Darius emerged, positioned right before him. He grinned as he shimmied back and forth to the music, an expectant look on his face waiting for Tristan to join him.

                Together they jumped, rocked, and hopped from side-to-side to the club classics being spun. During a more trancey song Darius closed his eyes and blissfully brought his head back, clearly enchanted by the rhythm. He was fully relaxed, something he rarely tended to ever be in public spaces. It was a lovely, dreamy scene.

                Another puff of fog hissed from the machine, enveloping the area where the boys were dancing. Once more the rest of the crowd faded away as a song that Tristan recognized came on. He had heard it once before and remembered liking it enough to Shazam it. He tried to recall the title. “Jenny” by… gosh, what was the band… “Studio Killers” or something?  

                Jenny darling, you’re my best friend                 But there’s a few things that you don’t know of                 Why I borrow your lipstick so often                 I’m using your shirt as a pillowcase

                Darius had opened his eyes and was peering at Tristan now, swaying back and forth and bobbing his shoulders up and down to the beat. Did he know the song, too? Their vision connected, and Darius took that as an invitation to move closer. He danced his way up to Tristan with a goofy expression clearly meant to make him laugh, especially when paired with his silly, exaggerated dance moves. It worked, Tristan cracked up during the chorus, entirely missing the words as he twirled in a circle and made his own wacky motions, trying to get Darius to laugh back.

                Jenny, darling, you're my best friend                 I've been doing bad things that you don't know about                 Stealing your stuff now and then                 Nothing you'd miss, but it means the world to me

                During the second verse they were so wrapped up in their lighthearted dance battle that neither was fully aware of just how close they were getting. Before they knew it, they were touching each other. It started with Darius making a very serious expression, grabbing Tristan’s hand and lacing his fingers through his, bringing it up, and staring deeply into his eyes.

                “Dance with me, Lyubimyy.” he purred in a deep, overly dramatic tone. In the blink of an eye Darius’ other hand was on the small of Tristan’s back, and he dipped him backwards like they were entangled in a passionate tango. Tristan yelped in surprise but trusted that Darius wouldn’t drop him. They both were laughing as Darius hauled him back up. The boy was ridiculous.

                Another blast of fog hid the rest of the club from view. It was just the two of them again, or so it seemed. Tristan and Darius. The only two people in the club. The only two people in the entire world.

                Tristan answered Darius’ moves by grabbing his hips and pulling him in close. Darius’ face lit up with a playful glee, and he took the hint, wrapping his arms around the back of Tristan’s neck. They swayed and grinded against each other as the chorus played once again.

                I wanna ruin our friendship                 We should be lovers instead                 I don’t know how to say this                 ‘Cause you’re really my dearest friend

                Tristan heard the words that time, and his eyes went wide. Oh shit. That was why he remembered liking this song. Darius didn’t seem to notice his panic though- his eyes slipped shut and he pressed his forehead against Tristan’s to catch his breath, knowing that he wouldn’t mind.

                Darius was hot and sweaty, but he was right; Tristan didn’t mind. Not one bit.

                Gingerly Tristan raised a hand up and cupped the side of Darius’ face in a gentle action that he could have easily played off as a caring caress to comfort his winded friend. Darius leaned into the touch with a pleasant grin.

                The blonde held his breath. He wanted to kiss him so badly.

                Jenny, take my hand                 'Cause we are more than friends                 I will follow you until the end                 Jenny, take my hand                 I cannot pretend                 Why I never like your new boyfriends                 Oh, your love for them won’t last long

                Darius’ arms had returned to his sides, and Tristan grabbed one of his hands, then brought it up to spin Darius out and away from him. Darius followed the motion, fully into their continued masquerade game.

                Forget those amigos                 Oh, your love for them won't last long

                Darius wound himself back in and spun into Tristan’s embrace.

                Forget those amigos                 Forget those amigos

                The beat picked up again and Tristan let go, then the two fully broke apart and gave each other some space again, jumping and going all out for the end of the song.

                I wanna ruin our friendship                 We should be lovers instead                 I don't know how to say this                 'Cause you're really my dearest friend                 Oh, your love for them won't last long                 We should be lovers instead                 Oh, your love for them won't last long                 'Cause you really are my dearest friend

                The song faded out and blended into Chappell Roan’s “Good Luck, Babe!”, a welcome break from the higher BPM stuff the DJ had been blasting for the last 10 or 15 minutes. Darius fanned himself with his palms and took a step back, that wonderful blissful look still plastered on his face.

                “Phew! Thanks Tris, that was fun! I think I need a breather, though.” He pulled a water bottle from one of his deep cargo pockets and guzzled it down, then checked his text messages. “Cici’s outside. I’m gonna join her to cool off. You wanna come?”

                Of course she was. Of course he’d be going to see her. Back to reality.

                “You go ahead, I’ll be there in a bit.” Tristan answered. “I’ve just gotta…” he pointed to the bathroom, and Darius nodded in understanding and gave him a friendly pat on the back.

                “Okay man, see you out there.”

                Darius turned and made his way to the stairs and once again Tristan caught himself staring, watching him leave as if he hadn’t seen him walk away a thousand times before.

                You can kiss a hundred boys in bars                 Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling                 You can say it's just the way you are                 Make a new excuse, another stupid reason

                There was a pang in his heart, and he felt like such a damn fool. He hated himself. He really did. He finally broke from his trance and made his way to the bathroom, silently cursing the Midwest Princess’ words as he blinked hard, trying to force back the tears that were welling up in his eyes. He couldn’t keep doing this. Something eventually had to give.

                Good luck, babe (well, good luck), well, good luck, babe                 (well, good luck)                 You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

                                              ***

                Tristan descended the staircase down to the main floor and shuffled outside, figuring that Darius and Cici were most likely on the patio. As he rounded the corner, he spotted them, Darius lounging on one of the railings and Cici seated beside him at a table.

                The two were engaged in a conversation with one of the club’s drag performers, Steeple Towers- a very tall queen decked out in a gorgeous sparkly hot pink number, complete with a comically oversized bow on the back of her dress. Her cotton candy-esque wig was so poofy and enormous that it probably should have had a blinking light on top to warn airplanes to steer clear. 

                For a second, Tristan was too shy to approach. He had met several of the local drag performers before when they were their normal selves. Darius knew some of them from school and had even invited them over for dinner a time or two. They were all very kind, sweet guys and loved trading makeup tips and tricks. But man, when they put on their drag personas it was like they were different people. Fierce, confident, scary… not frightening, just scary in how incredible and otherworldly they were. It blew Tristan away how someone could be so well put together and perfect that they were intimidating.

                How cool it would be to have even a shred of that fun, unapologetically outgoing personality…

                He took a step forward but spotted something that he really didn’t like- between Darius’ fingers was a lit cigarette. With utter disdain, Tristan watched as the smoke curled up toward the sky. Ugh. Darius hadn’t indulged in that vice for quite a while.

                Cici had an equally disapproving look on her face, watching judgmentally as Darius took a long drag of it. She had been the one to spearhead the campaign to make him quit, and all of their friends had joined in the journey to help him along the path.

                Darius saw her staring and grinned innocently with the stupid object between his teeth.

                “I love you!” He tried, but Cici shook her head. He withdrew the cigarette and blew the smoke straight up into the air like a chimney, then snuffed the thing out on the railing without it even being half spent. “Fine, fine. Don’t give me that look…”

                Cici’s face melted into a satisfied expression, but she turned to Steeple and crossed her arms.

                “I told you not to enable him, damnit!” she chided. Steeple threw her hands up as if being accosted by a cop, but she was still playing her saucy character.

                “Arrest me then, officer! I’m only guilty of giving this cutie pie what he wants.”

                It was a funny scene. Tristan should have wanted to join in and play along. He should have wanted to take a seat and chat with them in the nice evening air. He should have been enjoying himself tonight… but he couldn’t get up the nerve to go over.

                He felt that same pang in his heart and tried to figure out why. Was it the pain of seeing Darius hurt himself again by smoking? Or was it once again seeing him with her…?

                ‘I love you!’ Darius had said in that cutesy voice that begged “Don’t be mad at me!”. He said stuff like that all the time to get out of trouble.

                But he had said it to Cici, and once, he did love her.

                … God, was he ever gonna stop?

                Tristan clenched his fists. This wasn’t healthy. He shouldn’t be thinking about Cici like that, like she was “the other woman” or something. Competition. She wasn’t.

                No… he wasn’t.

                There wasn’t a contest. He wasn’t in the running. He never had been in the running. Darius had been hers for years. Tristan had been fine with it then. Why was it now that he was suddenly so…

                So…

                … so fucking jealous?

                With a frustrated noise in the back of his throat he spun on his heel, turning and making his way back inside. He had to get out of there. He didn’t want to hate Cici. He didn’t hate her. He couldn’t. He hated himself. He hated himself and his stupid fucking crush and how he couldn’t ever, ever let it go. Why was it flaring up so badly tonight?! Jesus!!

                As he reentered the building, he heard that “Mr. Brightside” was playing. Of course it was. Tristan wished that it all would fucking end.

                If Darius could indulge in one of his unhealthy vices, Tristan would, too. He plopped down at the bar and ordered two Skittle shots. At least that was one surefire way to taste the rainbow tonight. He slammed the drinks back and shuddered at the vodka's sting, then took a long deep inhale through his nose and buried his face in his hands, trying to get a grip on himself.

                “Boyfriend trouble, eh?”

                Tristan peeked out and over to where the voice came from, a little way down the bar. A man sat there, a big burly guy jacked to all smithereens with close cropped salt-and-pepper hair and a sort of military look going: a tank top, camo pants, and big heavy combat boots. Man, what did this random older guy care? … But Tristan supposed he could chat with a stranger for a bit anyway. Maybe it’d help him calm down.

                “Something like that.” Tristan said miserably. “He’s not my boyfriend, though, just—” he sighed and lowered his head again, eyeing the menu on the table in search of his next drink selection.

                “Ya wish he was.” The man said knowingly.

                Tristan sat silently, now staring at nothing, but eventually he nodded smally.

                “Hey, it’s rough.” The man said. He had a country drawl that somehow disarmed Tristan. The guy could be spewing pure bullshit, but with an accent like that, it was hard to believe that he would be capable of saying anything unkind. “Some guys ain’t worth the heartache.”

                “I feel like he is.” Tristan picked at the hair tie on his wrist. “It’s stupid, but I’d go to the ends of the Earth for him if he needed me to.” He took a beat, his dewy-eyed expression dissolving back into full on sorrow. “Love is stupid. It’s so fucking stupid and unfair. I hate it.”

                “You should stay away from him.”

                “What?” Tristan couldn’t help but look back up at the guy. That advice felt like it came out of left field.

                “You're only gonna get hurt if ya don’t.” The man said.

                Tristan frowned. “He wouldn’t do that intentionally.”

                “Of course not. But is he tryin' to hurt you now?”

                “… Well, no…”

                “And are ya feelin' hurt anyway?”

                Tristan dropped his gaze.

                “Trust me kid, cut ties now for your own good. It’ll be a lot easier on you that way when he’s not around anymore.”

                ‘When he’s not around anymore’? Geez, that was pessimistic. The drawl didn’t cover up bleak sounding things after all. This dude must have seriously been burned by past relationships to instantly assume that someone would leave, not could. Darius wouldn’t just up and disappear someday… right? Their friendship was solid. Even if things got awkward, they could work it out.

                Perhaps the guy meant something else though… Darius not being around in the future… it hurt to think about, but they were nearing the end of college. Despite both being from the same town, they probably would have to part ways eventually for their careers. That didn’t mean the friendship needed to end, but things weren’t going to be the same once they moved out and were no longer roommates.

                ‘When he’s not around anymore’… Ugh… How would Tristan handle that? It would be a sad goodbye, that’s for sure. He hoped that they’d keep in touch and maybe see each other a few times a year if they were lucky.

                Tristan scrunched up his nose, not wanting to think about it anymore. Hopefully that was a long way off in the future still… No need to dwell on it now. Darius wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. They’d just have to make the most of whatever time they had left together… to live it up while they still could.  

                The man seemed to notice Tristan wrestling with that idea; his face gave it away.

                “Look, you're an innocent, nice fella.” The guy said. “You don’t deserve to be hurt.”

                Tristan lightly chuckled at that. This stranger didn’t know him at all, but it was nice that he still wanted the best for him.

                “Thanks.” Tristan said quietly. He had no intention of cutting Darius out of his life, but hey, free advice was free advice, even if he wasn’t going to follow it. The guy only seemed to mean well.

                The man tipped his head and went back to nursing his beer. Tristan sat quietly and stewed in thought.

                Suddenly there was a commotion from outside: a high-pitched shriek, a loud and angry yell, the sound of a scuffle, then more shouting and screaming. Tristan sat up and craned his neck to get a look, moving to hop off the barstool when Darius stormed through the front door clutching his face with one hand and waving Cici and Steeple off dismissively with the other.

                “Are you fucking insane?!” Steeple shrieked, her heels clicking loudly against the wood floor as she followed him. “You could’ve been killed!”

                “I got your fucking bow back, didn’t I?!” Darius snapped.

                “He was an asshole, Dair! Just some fucking loser! I much rather would have preferred for him to walk off with it than for you to get hurt! How could you be so stupid?!”

                Cici ran over to the counter and frantically asked the bartender for a first aid kit.

                “What’s going on?!” Tristan exclaimed. Cici turned and relief flooded her face when she noticed him.

                “Tris! Oh, thank God! Darius, he… Stupid idiot! There was this guy—”

                “Is that blood?!” Darius had finally gotten close enough for Tristan to see him in the dim light. His roommate blew past on the way to the bathroom, too distracted to see him.

                “Some jerk on the street was harassing us… Darius went after him and there was a fight, and, and—” Cici was tearing up, the fright suddenly catching up to her. “I didn’t know what to do! It all happened so fast, I—”

                Tristan caressed her upper arms and tried to calm her down.

                “Hey, shh, hey, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay, Cici. I’ll go help him.”

                Cici threw her arms around him, and Tristan felt like a complete idiot. All night he had been vilifying her and feeling horribly jealous as if she wasn’t like a sister to him. She loved and trusted him, and now she was vulnerable and scared and chose to come to him for comfort.

                How could he have been so heartless?

                She was trembling. Tristan returned her embrace and gently rubbed her back, lingering in the hug for longer than he originally intended, hoping that she’d feel better. She needed this. Maybe he did, too.

                Cici straightened with a sniffle and handed him the first aid kit that the bartender had slid over.

                “Thanks Tris… You know how he is… I just—”

                She worried. So did he. They had this conversation before as two of the people who knew Darius the best. The guy could be bullheaded and impulsive, rushing into almost anything—even something dangerous—to help someone that he thought needed it. A self-sacrificing dumbass who occasionally leaped before he looked.

                Again, Tristan felt so foolish. He had shared many late nights with Cici where they had deep, heartfelt talks, even without Darius around. She was one of his closest friends, too; that was how he knew exactly what she was feeling and thinking in the moment. Boy did he feel terrible.

                “It has to be you. I can’t go in there.” Cici sobbed. Almost on cue, Darius shut the men’s room door behind him.

                Tristan stood and the world swayed. Fuck, the shots! Not now… not now! What a horrible time for them to kick in! He steadied himself against the barstool and flashed Cici as confident of a smile as he could muster, praying that he looked sober enough that she wouldn’t worry. He focused extra hard on walking straight and hoped that he was nailing it.

                In the bathroom Darius sat on the sink counter looking pissed off and ill-tempered as Steeple patted at his wounds with a wet paper towel. Darius shoved her hand away.

                “Knock it off! I’m fine. You’re gonna get blood on your outfit.” he complained.

                “I don’t give a shit, Darius. Shut up and let me help you.” she pulled the bloody paper towel away and tossed it in the trashcan.

                “I’ve got a first aid kit.” Tristan announced, holding up the supplies. Steeple gave him the same look of relief that Cici had. Darius must have been giving her a rough time.

                “Oh, thank God! I think it looks worse than it actually is, but still, let’s get him cleaned up.” Long manicured nails be damned, the queen dug into the box and ripped open a hand wipe, then reached for Darius’ face again, dabbing at a cut. Darius flinched away.   

                “Fucking stop it! That hurts!”

                Steeple looked exasperated and opened her mouth to snap back at him, but her thought was cut off by a tinkling melodic alarm.

                “Shit!” She reached between her fake bosoms and pulled out a cellphone, then shut off the alarm and checked the time.

                “The show’s about to start. I’ve gotta run… will you be okay?”

                Darius looked terrifying with the streams of red trickling down his face, even more so when he fixed Steeple with a deathly serious stare.

                “Get out there and be fabulous.” It was a threat. An encouraging one, but hostile all the same. “Do it for me.”

                Tristan gave the queen a proper answer. “I’ve got him. Thanks Steeple.”

                “Thank you Tristan.” Steeple turned and punched Darius lightly in the arm. “Don’t. be. stupid! And don’t be mean to this nice boy! He loves you just as much as I do! We’re your friends, you dick!” She rinsed her hands and grabbed her bow.

                Tristan’s throat bobbed. Just as much as Steeple loved him? Oh, no. No. Tristan loved him more. Far, far more.

                “Good luck. He’s still riled up.” Steeple whispered to Tristan, then set off to head backstage.

                Once she was gone, Darius deflated and bent forward, his defensive walls tumbling down. It was just him and Tristan now. He didn’t have to act tough and put up a brave front anymore.

                “Motherfucker…” he groaned. “Fuck, that hurt.”

                Tristan put a comforting hand on Darius’ knee.

                “Are you okay?” he asked softly.

                Darius peered up at Tristan, his face ragged and tired, though he forced a wry smile.

                “You should see the other guy.” He laughed darkly.

                Tristan scoffed, then took a moment to assess Darius’ condition. He was pretty roughed up. Blood trickled down his face and cemented clumps of his flowing black mane to his temple. Gently Tristan swept those out of the way, but the strands flopped back down again.

                “Here,” Tristan said, slipping the hair tie from his wrist. “put your hair up.”

                “My friend the Boy Scout.” Darius teased, taking the elastic and pulling his hair into a ponytail. “Always prepared…”

                “Shut up.” Tristan lifted a towelette, then carefully reached up to go over the cuts on Darius’ face and hands. Judging by the injuries, it seemed like he had been forced to the ground either from being pushed or punched.

                “What happened anyway?” Tristan asked.

                “We were sitting outside talking and some homophobic asshole came by and started slinging slurs.” Darius sucked in a sharp hiss with the sting of the wipe, but didn’t pull away. “He ripped Steeple’s bow off and started running, and I went after him. I don’t know who threw the first punch. It’s kind of a blur…”

                Tristan finished cleaning Darius’ wounds and pulled out a few band-aids. Luckily Steeple had been right: he wasn’t as bad as he looked, head wounds just tended to bleed a lot and look really dramatic.

                Darius watched Tristan studying him when he took a step back.

                “Is it bad?” Darius asked warily.

                Tristan tsked, his voice gentle.

                “I think you’ll live, idiot.”

                ‘Idiot’. He didn’t have to say anything more. The corners of Darius’ mouth pulled up slightly in a tiny, knowing smile. That one word expressed everything that Tristan was feeling regarding the whole situation. Darius knew him well enough to figure that out. ‘Idiot’, meaning something more along the lines of ‘How could you be so reckless? You care too much. You shouldn’t have put yourself in harm’s way, even if it was the noble thing to do for a friend.’

                Tristan was slow with bandaging up Darius’ hands, his movements a little unsteady. Darius took notice, especially when Tristan started swaying.

                “Are you okay?” he asked.

                “Yeah, I just… alcohol…” Tristan admitted. The multiple drinks were finally fully hitting him.

                Darius’ thick dark brows pulled into a frown. “How much more did you have?”

                “Two more shots… I’m fine…”

                “Yeah, okay. Come up here and have a seat with me.”

                The blonde finished dressing the wounds and sloppily tucked the remaining supplies back into the first aid kit. Clumsily he hopped onto the countertop next to Darius.

                “Thanks Tris.” Darius said, a pinch of embarrassment in his otherwise grateful tone.

                Tristan nodded heavily. “I agree with Steeple.” he replied. “Don’t be stupid.”

                Darius chuckled. “I try not to be as a general rule.” but they both knew that wasn’t always the case.

                Without looking at him, Darius leaned over wearily and rested his head on Tristan’s shoulder in an appreciative gesture. He must have been crashing from the adrenaline rush. Tristan tried to keep cool and bite his tongue, but the liquid courage in his system was making him… well, courageous.

                What would he even say in a moment like this? 'I love you, don’t you ever scare me like that again!'? 'Hey, could you stop flirting with your ex? You’re kind of killing me.'? 'Please promise you won’t ever leave me.'?

                Instead, he pressed his lips together and simply rested his head on top of Darius’. The two of them sat there for a moment in silence to recover from the chaos.

                The moment lingered on.

                And on…

                It was weirdly peaceful.

                “You know we can’t stay like this forever…” Darius finally mumbled.

                Tristan didn’t realize that he had closed his eyes until they were open again. Had he just taken a three second nap? His heart beat faster, his half-asleep, alcohol impaired mind trying to figure out what Darius meant. They couldn’t stay like this forever? What was he saying? Darius must be about to dump him as a friend. That was the only explanation. The guy at the bar was right. Tristan was convinced. In the span of a millisecond, Tristan spiraled. It was over. Their entire friendship was over. It had to be.

                “I’m not staying the night in a dirty club bathroom.”

                The flurry of paranoia swirling in Tristan’s brain stopped on a dime and his panic dissolved. Darius was right, this place wasn’t fit for them to stay in at all.

                “Mm…” Tristan nodded in agreement and groggily sat back up.

                “I don’t know about you, but I think I’ve had enough clubbing for tonight. You wanna head home?” Darius asked.

                “Uh huh.” Tristan was woozy. It was a nice buzz, and his heart wasn’t aching as badly, but he was definitely done with the evening. Darius hopped off the counter, then helped him down, supporting him until he could stand better. Tristan collected the first aid kit and they moved toward the bathroom door.

                “You’ve gotta tell Cici you’re ok.” Tristan uttered. “She was really worried about you.”

                Darius' face fell. “Yeah… Well, that’s partially why she left me... Too scrappy. I sure did a great job of proving her point tonight.” His tone was bitter as he reflected on his own actions. Perhaps the breakup hadn’t been as mutual as Tristan initially thought.

                “You still love each other.” Tristan said. It was a statement, not a question.

                “Yeah, as friends.” Darius answered.

                “You mean you’re not trying to get back together?”

                “No. Of course not. What makes you think—”

                “Flirting.” Tristan blurted out. “You’ve been flirting with her all night.”

                Darius looked perplexed. “I’ve been flirting with everyone all night. Even you.”

                What little shred of sanity Tristan had left broke at those words, and temporarily he was speechless. His dumbstruck expression must have read, because Darius gave him a weird look. 

                Tristan wanted to ask a thousand questions- ‘How seriously were you flirting?’, ‘Was it just for fun, or are you actually romantically interested in me?’, ‘Is this a joke to you?’, ‘Are you trying to lead me on?’, ‘Do you know how badly something like that could destroy me?’ but all that came out was one simple word:

                “Why?”

                Darius shrugged.

                “Because I love you, Tris.” he said it so nonchalantly, like it was simply a matter of fact. There was no sense of gravity to the thought. It was light. Airy. Easy.

                Tristan was silent. Dead freaking silent.

                As a friend. Darius didn’t say it, but somehow, Tristan knew that was what he meant. Darius loved him as a friend. Nothing more. Clearly, he was still completely clueless as to how Tristan felt. He had to be. He wouldn’t just speak that sentiment so casually otherwise.

                All the same, Tristan’s insides felt warm.

                “I—”

                ‘I want to be with you.’, ‘I need you to know just how much I care about you.’, ‘I don’t ever want to leave your side.’, ‘I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead.’

                … Careful, Tris.

                “I love you, too, Dair.” Not even Tristan knew what level of intensity he was putting behind those words. He would never force something on Darius like that, no matter how badly he wanted it. It felt nice just to voice the thought out loud either way… to officially release it into the universe. 

                They loved each other. It didn’t matter in what capacity. At least now they both knew. 

                Darius beamed and wrapped an arm around Tristan’s shoulders to keep him steady.

                “I’m glad. Now let’s go home.”

---------------------------------------------------

Previous | Next

---

Thank you as always to risahraun for beta-reading! <3

[crossdreamers]

“We see it now; the hate has shifted to the trans community. They see that as an opportunity. If you’re watching any sporting events right now, you see that Donald Trump’s closing arguments are to demonize a group of people for being who they are,” Walz said.

He continued, “We’re out there trying to make the case that access to healthcare, a clean environment, manufacturing jobs, and keeping your local hospital open are what people are really concerned about. They’re running millions of dollars of ads demonizing folks who are just trying to live their lives.”

If you are an American and have the right to v0te, do so. You will be doing this for LGBTQ people from all over the world, because what happens in the US will have repercussions for all.

J Molay

[nerdygaymormon]

Happy Pride

I want to wish a Happy Pride to:

Green Carnations

In 1892, Oscar Wilde had some of his friends wear a green carnation on their left lapels to the opening night of his show. An elegant and witty character in the play—who paralleled real-life Oscar Wilde—wore a carnation as part of his costume. Why green? It was an unnatural color for a carnation, Wilde chose this since it was said that homosexuality was unnatural. The green carnation became associated with Wilde and his flamboyant friends, and spread as a secret code to show others that you're gay.

"Be Gay, Do Crime"

The slogan "Be gay, do crime" has existed since at least 2011. The slogan is used to indicate that fighting back may be necessary, plus being gay was (and still is) criminal in many places at that time. It's a reminder that the Stonewall uprising was a riot. The slogan stands in contrast to the polished, corporate version of contemporary Pride, and shows that queerness has always been transgressive, regardless of its legal status. Part of being queer is being willing to push boundaries and protect one's self from the law since we have traditionally been attacked by it.

Peppermint Patty and Marcie

Peppermint Patty defied traditional gender norms. She played all sorts of sports at a time when it wasn't common for girls to do so. All the other female characters wore dresses, but Patty wears a t-shirt, shorts and sandals and the only other female character not to wear dresses is Marcie.

Peppermint Patty regularly flirts with Charlie Brown and has a strong bond with Marcie. While we don't know for sure, it certainly seems that Peppermint Patty is bi and her best friend Marcie is a lesbian.

I can imagine Peppermint Patty organizing the school's GSA or an all-inclusive dance, and loudly calling out any queerphobia. I like thinking of Patty getting a man's suit from a thrift store and going to Prom where she dances with both Marcie and Charlie Brown

Absolut Vodka

In 1979, Absolut entered the American market, but sales were slow. In 1981, Absolut starting targeting the LGBTQ consumer with the idea this group are trendsetters. Since 1981, Absolut has had print ads in queer magazines, sponsored events in gay bars, donated more than $40 million to queer charities and causes, sponsors the GLAAD Media Awards, and numerous major LGBTQ events in the US annually. Absolut has commissioned many openly gay artists to create ads, such as Andy Warhol, Nereyda Garcia Ferraz, David Spada, Keith Haring and Kenny Scharf. Supporting the queer community in 1981 was risky, but they have invested in the community and earned loyalty in return.

Pink Triangle

In the 1930s and 40s, just as Nazi Germany required Jews in the concentration camps to wear a yellow star of David, gay men, bi men, and trans women had to wear a downward-pointing triangle on their chest. The symbol was reclaimed in the 1970's by the queer liberation movement as a symbol against homophobia, and then was adopted widely by the LGBTQ community. The community took this symbol from the holocaust to show we are stronger than the worst done to us.

The pink triangle has largely been replaced by the rainbow Pride flag, and a reason for this is explaining why a pink triangle is the symbol of the community required an explanation of its dark past and therefore was about what others did to us rather than a symbol representing who we are and our hopes & aspirations. Although it isn't used much anymore, it's important to remember the pink triangle as the first widely-adopted visual symbol of the queer community

Ace & Aro Rings

Beginning in 2005, wearing a black ring on the middle finger of your right hand became a way for people to signify their asexuality. The material and design of the ring are not important as long as it is primarily black. It’s about carrying a reminder on our hands that there are others like us, and it's a way to identify each other. A white ring on the left hand of the middle finger is the aro equivalent.

Eyebrow Slits

Eyebrow slits was a trend in the hip hop community in the 1990's and called "eyebrow cuts." The trend fell out of style, but was brought back in the 2010's by some male artists and models as an edgy fashion statement. Lesbians quickly adopted this trend, perhaps as a way of showing they aren't beholden to gendered fashion rules, and it quickly grew in popularity on social media as a way for members of the queer community to express themselves and signal to each other. It seems natural that a fashion style containing an underlying rebelliousness appeals to a group who are marginalized by society. The eyebrow slit trend largely has faded except among the LGBTQ+ community, and so has become associated with us.

Nautical Star Tattoos

For centuries, sailors would get tattoos, often of images with symbolic meanings, such as the nautical star (which represents the North Star) and was believed to ensure a sailor’s safe return home. In the 1940s and 50s, lesbians were navigating the choppy waters of societal norms and expectations, and this five-pointed star tattoo became their compass, helping them find others like themselves. They'd get this tattoo on the inner wrist because it could be covered by a watch strap during the day, allowing women to hide their identity when necessary for their safety or professional lives, but could reveal it in safe spaces. This symbol was revived in the 1970's and is still used by some to this day.

Online "Am I Gay?" Quizzes

A common experience of people who are gay, bi, and pan, is they find an online quiz that will ask a few questions and then determine whether you are gay, or will reveal how gay you are (as though this can be graded like a school test). Sometimes the questions are lighthearted, while others try to be more serious. Here's the thing, more than any quiz results, searching for this type of quiz is probably the biggest indicator that a person experiences attraction to people of their same gender. It can be helpful for someone to have a "confirmation" of how they're feeling, and thus these "am I gay" quizzes will remain a rite of passage many.

Subaru

In the early 1990's, Subaru was struggling. Sales of their dependable but plain cars were in decline. Subaru knew teachers, healthcare professionals, IT professionals, and the outdoorsy types bought 1/2 their cars in America, and they targeted advertisements at those groups. Soon they realized there was yet another core group, lesbians were 4 times more likely than the average American to purchase a Subaru.

Subaru began printing advertisements that made subtle nods to lesbians in a way that slipped past the notice of other Americans, such as having the license plate "XENA LVR" on a car. Many ads had taglines with double meanings. "Get Out. And Stay Out" could refer to exploring the outdoors in a Subaru—or coming out as gay. "It’s Not a Choice. It’s the Way We’re Built" could refer to all Subarus coming with all-wheel-drive—or an LGBTQ identity.

Subaru noticed a group of customers and created ads for them, a group which often felt unwelcome and invisible. The campaign was so successful that it became a stereotype that lesbians drive Subarus, even leading to the word "Lesbaru." Polls show that the queer community views Subaru as the most queer-friendly brand.

[ladykailitha]

WIP Wednesday Game

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames or specific AUs your WIPs; not titles, filenames (eg werewolf AU, unnamed mafia omegaverse, or Steve's Rizz vs Eddie's Zero Filter.)

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write at least 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

My only problem is that I tend to file name what the title is so I can find it easier, so...here’s what they were called before I titled them.

“File” Names

Nanny AU

Stripper AU

Sugar!Baby AU

Game Show AU

Olympic Swimmer AU

Snippet

From the game show AU! Can you tell this is on a streaming service like Max or Netflix lol?!

“Hey, everyone!” Bob said. “Welcome to a brand new season of ‘Love Connection’ where we help lonely people make that special connection. This season we will be focusing on getting all those fancy letters LGBTQ+ a chance at love. We have your gays, your lesbians, your non-binary folks, your trans people, and one very special ace lady just looking for love.”

The audience politely clapped.

“I’m your host Bob Newby and today we have one very lucky catch. Steve Harrington from Hawkins, IN. He’s a middle school teacher who recently became a cat dad, to the adorable Odie.” A picture of Odie sleeping on Steve’s chest under his chin is shown on the screen behind them. “He coaches basketball and the swim team. And yes he does look hot in a Speedo!” A picture of Steve in a blue Speedo and wearing a white jacket and his whistle.

Steve decided he was going to murder Robin and/or Chrissy for that photo alone. Especially when the crowd goes wild, complete with wolf whistles.

“He enjoys watching sports, swimming, and reading in his spare time,” Bob continued. “He has tried everything to get a partner in this hellscape we call modern life, apps, bars, clubs and not just the ones with a dance floor and sick beats. So he came to us, so let’s see if we can match him to any of our suitors.”

It's that great and wonderful time of the week again! WIP Wednesday!

The game runs from 8am-11pm EST.

Send in as many asks as you want as often as you want.

@mira-jadeamethyst @zerokrox-blog @forgottenkanji @w1ll0wtr33 @thesecondfate

@acingthecounts @beelze-the-bubkiss @just-a-tiny-void @kultiras @niniel-karenine

@dreamercec

[allthegeopolitics]

Wisconsin governor Tony Evers has vetoed a bill “in its entirety” that would have stopped transgender students competing in sports teams consistent with their gender identity. Assembly Bill 377 called on school boards and other relevant bodies to prohibit transgender and non-binary student athletes from competing in teams or events that match their gender identity, leaving them instead to compete in teams consistent with their sex assigned at birth. In an open letter announcing his decision to veto the bill on Tuesday (2 April) , Democrat Evers wrote that not only did the legislation conflict with several anti-discrimination laws but could also undermine federal legislation.

Continue Reading

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Erin Reed at Erin In The Morning:

On Thursday, Governor Tim Walz sat down for an interview with author Glennon Doyle, her partner Abby Wambach, and her sister Amanda Doyle during a taping of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. The conversation touched on key election issues such as abortion and gun violence. However, midway through the podcast, the discussion shifted to queer youth, specifically transgender kids. Rather than shying away from the topic, Walz delivered a passionate, several-minute-long defense of LGBTQ+ rights, including transgender healthcare. He outlined his vision for the administration’s role in protecting these rights.

[...]

Walz discussed positive legislative actions, such as codifying hate crime laws and increasing education, while emphasizing the importance of using his platform to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. He then addressed the role of judges in safeguarding medical care for queer youth: “I also think what Abby, your point is on this, and I was just mentioning, we need to appoint judges who uphold the right to marriage, uphold the right to be who you are, making sure that’s the case, uphold the right to get the medical care that you need. We should not be naive. Those appointments are really, really important. I think that’s what the vice president is committed to.” He didn’t stop there. Instead, he directly pivoted to calling out national anti-transgender attack ads which have flooded the airwaves across the United States, often airing besides NFL football games and other major sporting events. The Trump administration has spent upwards of $20 million on such ads, with outside organizations spending $80 million on various races.

“We see it now; the hate has shifted to the trans community. They see that as an opportunity. If you’re watching any sporting events right now, you see that Donald Trump’s closing arguments are to demonize a group of people for being who they are,” Walz said. He continued, “We’re out there trying to make the case that access to healthcare, a clean environment, manufacturing jobs, and keeping your local hospital open are what people are really concerned about. They’re running millions of dollars of ads demonizing folks who are just trying to live their lives.” He emphasized the importance of representation and the impact of coming out, particularly for parents who may not have been exposed to LGBTQ+ identities and therefore might lack understanding.

Appearing on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast Thursday, Kamala Harris VP pick and Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz (D) gave a resolute defense of trans and LGBTQ+ youths.

Dear Sherrod Brown and Colin Allred (and any other Democratic politician), please learn from this interview on how to properly discuss trans issues in your campaigns, and that is not give legitimacy to anti-trans arguments.

From the 10.17.2024 edition of Audacy's We Can Do Hard Things:

[amailboxlemur]

Season 3 thoughts about mental health

So the mental health aspect of young royals has always been massive to me because my own brain doesn’t like to function particularly well at times. It’s also clearly what draws Edvin to wille and he portrays it so well. I want to get a few non wille things out of the way first though:

August eating disorder: touched on, but not dived into too deeply. Really interesting how he seems to think it’s completely normal (there’s something great about being hungry, calm the mind etc) but right away Simon is just like “nope, that’s not healthy”

The Queen: this year is really catching up with her. I can’t help but feel there’s something physical going on with her as well, whether it’s caused by stress or made worse by stress. Either way, I love the idea that truly no one is able to “handle” it the pressures of this position.

Ok now Wille:

I want to start with the fact he’s taking steps. He’s really trying. When Sara returns to school he does check in with Simon and does his best to support him. After the rock incident he calls the Royal court immediately to try and get Simon security. After the protest, he acknowledges that he and Simon and different but that he’s learning from Simon.

Right then is I think somewhere he had a big opportunity for growth. When Simon mentions charities he could care about, he mentions mental health or lgbtq+ rights. Both boys immediately focus on lgbtq+ but I think mental health is a better fit for wille at this point. He’s been going to therapy, and he seems at least vaguely aware that it’s anxiety that affects him. Falling in love with Simon is all well and good, but I never got the impression wille was overly concerned with his queer identity. (Neither has the show for that matter. There are queer characters but the main themes have always been class and mental health). But they have their little argument about lgbtq+ advocacy and never really circle back to the mental health thing, which is a shame. Wille ends up picking the path of least resistance and going with “sports and health”.

Wille has always had a temper. We’ve known that from the very first scene where he head butted someone in a club and kicked off this entire chain of events. But this season he really starts to break down with the fight with august. I can’t help but feel like the “pair” counselling isn’t the solution here. Like August deeply violated Wille and I genuinely think that being in therapy with someone abusive isn’t helpful. Being around August so much is actively making Wille’s mental health worse. Is he even still seeing Boris privately?

So that leads us to his meltdown at the end of episode 5, where we see a deeply traumatized Wille letting it all out. He’s been raised by his boss (and Kristina admits that). he’s grieving his brother while grappling with the fact Erik wasn’t perfect (and maybe wouldn’t even like him, have I MENTIONED how much that line BROKE me??). His privacy has been violated, he was outed to the world and put in a therapy situation where it was borderline made to seem like he was equally to blame in their “relationship”. Wille is NOT in a good space mentally and Simon is right to be afraid for and of him. He’s right to hit the pause button.

So where do we go from here? I’ve been an abdication truther and this season further confirms it. What Wille really needs is a break and some hardcore (solo) therapy.