#LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

spicy ask 🌶️

Not sure if you’ve answered this but, what do you think are Everlark’s specifically favorite sex positions are? What what does Peeta consider his favorite, what does Katniss? And what do they mutually both just love? 💚🧡

Dear Spicy Anon,

I gave this question way too much thought. And also held onto it for way too ling because I wanted to gather my thoughts on all five of the asks you sent me. But here you go. My thoughts on the matter.

I do think that eventually, Everlark is comfortable enough to try out a lot of different positions. While I don’t think they’d get into hard core kink the way we think of hard core kinks, I do think they eventually grow comfortable enough with each other and with their desire for each other that they’re fairly experimental in the bedroom. And I think that manifests as trying out almost every position conceivable.

Katniss actually starts that trend, once she discovers that there’s more than just missionary and doggy style. Peeta of course has already daydreamed almost everything she comes up with, but he lets her set the pace of experimentation at first. Until he discovers that she actually really gets off on him being demanding and bossy in bed. Then all bets are off and horny Peeta pretty much shocks her with his ideas on the regular… but also she so wants to try that now. And then she makes it a goal of hers to request something that surprises Peeta. Anyways!

Favorite Overall Position: Katniss on top (aka Cowgirl).

Reasons: Having Katniss on top is the easiest, most comfortable position for Peeta with his amputation. It wouldn’t be the first position they try, mainly because I think Katniss would be self-conscious about Peeta being able to see so much of her, and also because this position puts her in control and she wouldn’t have a clue what she’s doing at first. This would bother her, not knowing what she’s doing. But it’s the second position they try after missionary, and that experiment comes rather quick after their first few times having sex. 

Once they do “discover” it, they both freaking love it. Katniss discovers that she gets to see all of Peeta too, if she positions herself at certain angles in relation to his body. Also, the fact that she has complete control means they’re both super focused on her orgasm first, his second, and they’re really freaking good orgasms -- exactly what she likes. Peeta is super into watching her pleasure unfold in her body movements and her expressions, and being able to touch her, help get her there, all while comfortably laying back. Yes, ma’am. He’ll have another helping of what she’s having. Also… eye contact is insane, and when she’s done, Katniss can just flop on top of him, instantly in her favorite cuddle position with the added erotic benefit of him still being inside her.

A Variation They Enjoy (but might not be their Go To): Edge of Heaven. Where he’s seated, either on a chair or more often at the edge of the bed and she’s facing him on top. Hits all the right spots for her and pretty much demands the intimacy of close cuddling. Guaranteed kissing, holding, caressing each other’s face and shoulders and hair during sex? Heck yes! Sign them both up. From here, Katniss can be on her knees straddling him, have her legs wrapped around his hips, dangle them to the side or brace them on the floor for more leverage. All kinds of naughty fun to be had!

Of course, it’s difficult for them to pick one favorite because they’re so insanely thirsty for each other and both of them get off on pleasing the other. So they have several favorites. Here’s a few more I think they really like.

Katniss’s Faves: 

Missionary. She just really likes having Peeta’s weight on top of her, grounding her, feeling him moving inside her so intently. The eye contact! The kissing! The ability to wrap her legs and arms around him and hold him together while he falls apart? Even if she doesn’t always come when they’re here, she loves just existing with him in this state. Bonus tho if they manage to get it just right so they’re in CAT.

Reverse Scoop/Spoon, where they’re on their sides, facing one another. For this one, Katniss actually prefers their thighs to be scissored rather than both of his tucked between hers. It’s more comfortable for her and she can really get him deep inside her that way. Again, the opportunities for eye contact and kissing are rife with this position (noticing a theme here?).

Butterfly, in which Katniss would be on her back, either on the bed or the kitchen table, with her butt right at the edge and Peeta standing, with her legs draped over his chest, his shoulders. While she can’t touch him as much in this one, he can still reach her and she’s willing to occasionally give up the ability to have her hands all over him if it feels this fucking good. And, if he spreads her legs and lowers them, he can bend over on top of her for kisses and other naughty variations.

And finally, one of her unexpected faves. On her stomach with Peeta on top of her. Again, she likes having his weight on her.

Peeta’s Faves:

Katniss on her stomach with him on top. See, there’s a reason I didn’t go into detail on Katniss’s unexpected favorite. 

And honestly, I think he’s especially fond of almost every version of him behind Katniss during sex, be it standing, standing with one of her leaning on the table or the kitchen counter, or the bathroom counter where he can watch her face in the mirror, standing with one of her legs up on the table, her draped over the back of the couch, in the shower, up against a tree, her bent over a warm boulder out in the woods, laid out on a picnic blanket, in bed with her flat on the sheets, on all fours, on her knees while she’s gripping the headboard, in the bathtub, on her knees with her face in the mattress so her body is bent in a triangle. The man has so many salacious variations on this position I don’t even know all the urban dictionary or kama sutra names for them and I don’t have time to look them up. And honestly neither would he. He’d just be like “what happens if I lift her leg like… this?” “Bend her like this?”

Why does he like it so much? Partly because it turns out that she likes it a lot. Now, of course they especially love being able to look each other in the eyes during sex, which is why I think that eventually, once Katniss gets over her self-conscious nonsense in the bedroom, they have sex in front of mirrors quite a bit. There’s a full length one on the back of their bedroom door just so he can position her in a way that they can see each other on the bed when he’s behind her.

Plus, he can get some deep penetration from this angle, as long as his legs are up for it, and also it feels so freaking good that he often winds up fucking his wife like a mad man in these positions… which she freaking loves. A lot.

Also… I have two words for you… hair pulling. Not like super hard, yanking it out by the roots, or anything like that, but man does our sweet baker boy get off HARD when he’s got a fist full of Katniss’s hair or her braid wrapped around his hand and she’s arching and moaning and writhing underneath him. Teenage Peeta would explode knowing what adult Peeta gets to do to Katniss Everdeen.

Two more words for you… reach around. Whether you take that as Peeta reaching around to touch her breasts, her clitoris, or both… or you take it as Peeta wrapping his arms around her to hold her even if she can’t hold him, then you’re correct. He loves being able to do those things.

Spooning. Okay, yeah it’s kind of a variation on the ones listed above, except the tenderness is off the charts with this one. He can’t move as much or as fast because he risks hurting Katniss or slipping out constantly from this angle, but the slow and steady is just *chef’s kiss*. And speaking of kisses, this is another one that with a little contortion allows them to share kisses on the mouth, and he can certainly bathe her neck and shoulders in kisses in this position.

Reverse cowgirl, in all its glorious versions. His favorite variation though is when she places one of her knees between his legs and the other one on the outside of his leg, so she’s basically straddling his one thigh and grinding her clit up against it while he’s inside her. However, reverse cowgirl in general is one they don’t find themselves using all that often because they have a habit of going at it so hard that he keeps slipping out, maybe hitting her at an angle that doesn’t feel so great, or she accidentally bends his dick at an uncomfortable angle… So for them it’s like “we tried it and nailed it a few times, and when we did nail it... oh buddy yes! but the other times we tried were just… no. Not working."

Final Notes: It should also be noted that the positions I listed for one, the other definitely enjoys. They just might not go stupid and glassy eyed when they think about it later. I do think that if they try a position that does nothing for one of them, even if the other really likes it, they don’t really try it again.

I didn’t cover any oral sex positions here because that would’ve just been a whole other dissertation, but basically… yes. To all of it.

And thank you for sitting through my thesis, Spicy Anon.

<3 kdnfb

[coochiequeens]

I may not like her views on repatriating remains from indigenous cultures, but she is right about this  "There's no such thing as a nonbinary skeleton,".

ACalifornia anthropology professor claims an upcoming panel she was set to speak on about the importance of sex differences in the study of anthropology was canned by the American Anthropological Association (AAA) and the Canadian Anthropology Society (CASCA). In a letter to the panelists, the organizations explained that, although they had initially approved the panel — titled "Let's Talk About Sex, Baby: Why biological sex remains irreplaceably relevant to anthropological analysis" — they'd eventually determined it could "cause harm to members represented by the Trans and LGBTQI of the anthropological community as well as the community at large." On Tuesday, panelists issued a public response arguing in part that their discussion would have highlighted the importance of distinguishing between biological sex and gender identity— and that determining both in skeletal remains was an important part of identifying them. Dr. Elizabeth Weiss, a professor of anthropology at San Jose State University and one of the panelists, posted the response on her website under the title "Discussing sex is no longer allowed at Anthropology conferences." According to the panelists, some anthropologists have questioned the importance of identifying sex differences in skeletal remains, arguing that ancient cultures had a different understanding and conception of gender and sex than we do, and in some cases did not distinguish between the two.

"Our panel description, written by Kathleen Lowrey, acknowledges that not all anthropologists need to differentiate between sex and gender," the panelists wrote.

.Elizabeth Weiss is among the panelists who say they were told they can no longer hold a panel on the importance of sex differences in anthropological research in an upcoming conference

In August of last year, Weiss wrote a column titled "There's no such thing as a nonbinary skeleton," in which she argues that "trans activists" in the archaeological community are "trying to erase the reality of biological sex in the present by erasing it in the past. They want to make it look as if the natural human condition is nonbinary." The AAA and CASCA originally approved the talk in July after it was reportedly reviewed by program chairs. The panel discussion was scheduled to take place at an annual meeting of anthropologists being held in Toronto in November.

"Going forward, we will undertake a major review of the processes associated with vetting sessions at our annual meetings and will include our leadership in that discussion," the AAA and CASCA wrote. On her website, Weiss frequently rails against "cancel culture radicals" and says that she has faced multiple attempts at cancellation, while also joking about the "pronouns" used by ancient humans whose skeletons have been dug up. In September 2021, she received pushback from fellow anthropologists and her own school for posting a photo of her posing with a Native American skull. Her university's anthropology department eventually condemned the photo and issued new prohibitions on video and photography of Native American remains. Weiss has also frequently spoken out against repatriating remains from indigenous cultures, telling NBC Bay Area in May that she "would have no problem with" scientists digging up her ancestors' remains for research purposes.

[jiz-henry]

[socalwriterbee]

NSFW ask, feel free to ignore if you don't want to answer :) 

Idk if you HC them as wild as in canon (or less/more), but did your MC imagine Ethan would be up to those kind of shenanigans (sex in the car or in an office with walls made of glass or anything else you HC)? Or did she imagine him more… reserved? Prude? idk what’s the word.

What’s the perception their friends have of them? (Idk if it’s easier to imagine Ethan as someone who’s not into anything wild, because of his “calm/worrisome/prude exterior”)

Hi Nonny!

I'm going to sound like a broken record but I AM SO SORRY for the late answer to your question.

Tessa was taken by surprise just a touch at least the first time that he would be into kink-ish things. Sex in a car, sex on his desk, a quickie in the Scottish hills (out in the open)

It's always the quiet ones right?

Tessa thought Ethan would be normal about sex and things related to that not so much a prude, he isn't big on public displays of affection but definitely not a prude.

Their friends perception on their relationship would be a normal one. They are a couple who has sex, they don't know how hot Ethan can make it but much to Ethan's protest, girlfriends talk! So only Jackie and Sienna know.

Thank you for the ask and again I am so sorry

🥰

[jerzwriter]

You mentioned before that Casey is the first time Tobias wanted to be in a relationship. Is there a reason why he felt that for her? Is it because she is as into sex as him? Is that something he didn't have with the past flings?

Hey Nonny, Thanks for the ask.

While Casey and Tobias definitely have well-matched sexual proclivities and appetites, and, yes, that's part of the reason they're so compatible, it is by far not the only reason.

I think it's fair to say (in fact, I'm the writer, I absolutely say) that Tobias had been with women that enjoyed sex as much as he did, but if that was all that mattered, then he would have settled down with one of them... and the thought never crossed his mind. Correction, if the thought crossed his mind, he'd be horrified. The idea of a lifetime commitment to one person was unimaginable. Yet, after a short time of being with Casey, he knew a life without her would never be as joyful. He knew he'd always miss her. (and, I don't think he would have moved on to a serious relationship with anyone else.)

Many times readers have tried to reduce what Tobias & Casey have down to sex, or have tried to minimize their bond because of it. That's really nonsense, the man adored her, and she came to adore him in return. They are crazy about each other and, yeah, they love expressing that physically, but it's only a part of the love they share.

Thanks for asking.

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[jiz-henry]

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

[benevolenterrancy]

Art prompt of Shen Qingqiu holding the aro flag (fits his color scheme)

the real reason this man doesn't realise he's tripping every romance flag in the story

[secriden]

This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.

It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:

At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:

Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.

In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:

Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?

Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.

I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:

Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.

Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.

Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.

And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.

Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.

Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.

I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.

I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.

And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.

Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.

It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.

So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.

He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.

And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).

So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.

What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.

Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.

When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:

Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.

This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.

I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.

But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.

And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.

Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.

Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.

And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

high male suicide rate: epidemic 😵‍💫

high trans suicide rate: genocide 😵

high suicide rate among porn stars: (silence)

[jellyfishfem]

grooming is when *checks notes* we talk about the dangers of the sex industry

[jiz-henry]

[sunfortune]

CHERYL DUNYE WORKED ON BRIDGERTON??????? this is crazy. kanthony has the lesbian gaze fr <— hasn’t watched bridgerton

worked on it? she directed the gazebo sex episodes. we literally have FINGERS IN HIS MOUTH bc of HER!! i owe her everything !!!