#LET'S GO I DIDN'T MISSPELL HIS NAME--

[djevelbl]

Currently watching Clown's LifeSteal Season 3 shenanigans — what did ash mean by "communism wins"????

[coffee-and-tea-time]

Yandere shop! Choose your yandere!

I was thinking, did you ever listen to yandere asmr videos? If so, you will catch on quickly that this is based on the yandere shop, which was so popular in asmr videos during the pandemia. - coffee

If you didn’t, quick summary Coffee gave me: imagine if there is a place where you can enter and you can ‘buy’ (they pay you since you are going to take care of a serial killer so he don’t kill people while you two got your twisted love) a yandere of your choosing. - tea

Word count: 1.2k but this will be edited to correct misspellings or weird sentence structure later, sorry in advance.

tw: yandere behavior, willing reader, delulu, written in you/yours, reader is a little nervous but really interested, you can choose humans yanderes and non-human (although humanoid) yanderes!

You fix your clothing and take a deep breath, your mind filled with ‘what if..’ yet, you were here, in a place that you didn’t trust was real.

A creak takes you out of your thoughts, a smiling man dressed rather formally, greets you cheerfully.

“Sorry to interrupt when you are so absorb in your pretty mind My dear, but you know, a little push may help you”

He said as he extended his hand to you, well, you already made your way here hoping to get a yandere so you gather all your corague as you take the man's hand. He led inside the shop, you can hear the click of the door closing behind you as you follow him.

“Oh, I hope you weren’t thinking of backing up so quickly Dear, want something to drink?”

You gently shake your head as you sit down in one of the couches, on the inside it looks pretty much like a coffee shop.

“Smart choice but you still seem rather nervous, want to say something before I go ahead and show you the catalog?”

“Well, I wanted to know, what can you do for the yandere you like to like you back? What if the one I choose doesn't like me back?”

Your worries were met with a not-so-subtly laugh from the man which make you kind of annoyed and embarrassed.

“Sorry Dear, I just never thought I ever meet somebody that feel insecure about the love of a yandere”

Now you wanted to punch him, is a normal question to ask! Yanderes have their own way to fall in love!

“Let me give you a quick explanation, if they had a darling, both of us know they would be busy stalking them. The yanderes we have don’t have a darling, but are eager for the sense of love on their own way which may not suit everyone so to avoid problems, this shop was put in place as a matchmaker between differents kinds of yanderes and people who enjoy them"

You sight in relief as you nod.

“alright, who is more likely to go even more insane if they don't get a darling soon.."

"Sorry, what did you just say? I couldn't hear you well"

"Oh, nothing Dear, I was just searching for the ones that been waiting the most, is how the list work, I will show you a few options first so you have an idea, you can ask for another kind if you had something else in mind, I'm sure we got something that will suit your taste; Although, do remember that is just one yandere, we had problems with that before"

"How is it that someone got the permission to have more than one? I thought you guys will keep in track that since well, it's dangerous for anyone"

"She didn't have permission but she manage because she stubbornly wanted a yandere harem, the result are expected, averyone in that house died except for one yandere, he is again on the list, and as you can guess, he end up more being more... intense. He is totally your perfect option if you like a very possessive yandere, he's a more serious yandere for that experience"

“That will be dangerous for me too?���

"Dont worry Dear, he is truly desperate for love like the rest, his name is Dizie. But if you rather a more gentle treat, Gabriel is your guy, I don't know much about him since he said that only his darling will get to know everything about him. As far as I know, he's kind of yandere that will kiss the ground were his darling walk, a worshiper you can say, if you like someone looks at you like you are a deity, he's definitely your perfect match"

“Isn’t every yandere a worshiper in their own ways?”

"Well, I guess? Is true that others have another específic ways to worship, look, he's the baker, relishes in your enjoyment of their pastries, a very skilled baker that knows how to include the most unique of ingredients to make the sweetest of treats, dreams of putting his heart and soul in every treat he bakes for his darling, his name is Oliver”

"What kind of ingredients tho?"

“The next one you may like is actually a popular singer, he chooses to keep anonymous unless chosen, but if you want to be a celebrity or date one, he is someone you can guess that will love to spoil their darling, he’s on the talkative side, if you like art or stuff like that, you will enjoy his house. although he babbles a lot of how he wish to hear the voice of his darling obsessively for hours”

The seller seems to dodge your question.

“Ah, of course, we also have some special yanderes if humans are boring or less attractive for you, look, he’s Myotis, the classic vampire, he even has wings! Isn’t it perfect to see the sky closer while you enjoy the company of a yandere that looks like he just came out of a book? If you are also into short kings, you gonna love him without a doubt”

"He's not going to drain me out of blood, is he?"

“Dear, why would a yandere who waits so long for their darling, kill them? But if vampires aren't your type, you could go for a mothman! You will be the light of his life, literally. He’s a big softie and kind of clumsy; he just eagerly waits for the arrival of his daylight. A good choose if you like special clingy yanderes, he is not around humans too much, but he said he wanted to be called Lior if he got chosen. Oh, if you are on the stronger side, you may want to keep your eye on Tarak, he said something about his name meaning something like star and protector I think, I guess he chose the name by himself, he’s a prideful dragon and really loves to talk, honestly, I’m not that intelligent to understand some things that he say, but if you like to know new things by listening, asking or reading, he's your man, you can try trying to teach him something new, I don't think is impossible to archive”

“You know what ag…”

You stopped talking when you catch a security camera in a corner moving around frantically yet appear like not seeing anything?

“Don’t mind him, is just Grier, even though I don’t know if that's his real name, I do know he loves trying to spy here using the security cameras so we end up having to put tape on them when a darling is coming to the shop; as you can guess, he’s a hacker, if you choose him, you will be very well protected and taken cared of since you gonna be being watched even when you think you are alone, if that what you wish for, please do choose him.”

The seller looks at you, waiting for an answer, to choose what kind of yandere you want or ask for a specific type now.

“You don’t really go outside too much, so I don’t think you gonna have problems with any of them”

You act like you didn’t hear his murmur as you look at the papers in your hand of every yandere he just talked about.

If your favorite options lose or you want something specific, just send an ask! We love comments and interactions in general so don't be shy.

Seller post

Sneak peek of the first encounters

The singer post

Grier post

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest ⚘

[homoroni]

°My Fav Comfort Fics°

Theodore Nott

The Softening Edge - your love language is touch and Theo usually loves it until someone makes fun of Theo for it. He ends up pushing you away until he realised how much of an idiot he’s been.

Written In The Stars

Hand In Hand - A shy request leads to Theo’s heart fluttering as Y/N takes his hand through the snowy streets of Hogsmeade, and he finds himself smiling more than ever before.

Heather

Pet dates - When Theo took a cat into his dormitory one evening, he didn't expect to wake up next to a girl the next morning.

Whoopsie - You can't help your clumsiness, but when you land with a bruise on your face, you're reminded that your boyfriend, Theo really hates to see you hurt.

Gamers Embrace - You learn just how clingy your gamer boyfriend Theo can be when he refuses to let her move her legs, all in the name of needing her warmth during a gaming session.

Pillowtalk - Theodore comes home to find you sleeping on the couch and picks you up, taking you to bed.

Beautiful People Beautiful Problems - Theo finds out you've been hiding something from him when he finds you in the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Pure Heart - You found Theo’s journal. Now, you don't know how to act around him.

Fights - Theo comes to you after a fight....again.

Not Even The Addressee - When Theodore's name gets misspelled he's not happy about it.

Flustered And Blushing - in which you're a flustered mess around Theo Nott and he absolutely adores it.

For The First Time - in which, the usual womaniser finds himself in love with a girl who doesn’t even know his name…

You Understand - Hogwarts students aren't exactly known for minding their own business. Thankfully, you and Theo speak a language they don't.

So This Is Love - there's a weird feeling that erupts in theo's chest whenever he looks at you and for the first time in his life his mind goes silent.

The Boyfriend Agreement - Your boyfriend tells you about an agreement you signed when you were kids.

Jealousy - an unexpected situation catches you off guard in the heart of florence and your boyfriend reveals a side of him you’ve never seen before.

Baby, Won't You Be My Girl?

Oh Bella - 3 times the reader teases Theo’s Italian roots + 1 time she celebrates them.

Clingy Sleepy Boyfriend - Your boyfriend doesn't want to let you go, even if it's to pee.

Study Break - just theodore wanting kisses while you’re busy studying.

Withdrawal - Theo decides to quit smoking, but doesn't realise that his decision would affect his girlfriend, too. ♡

Through The Wringer - Theo tries to get your attention by spoiling you with gifts. you pretend not to notice the shift just to mess with him. childhood friends to lovers.

Taking What's Not Yours - in which you have a bad habit of taking your boyfriend's things.

Like Snow On The Beach - christmas is your absolute favorite time of the year! the tree, the lights, the music, the food . . . however, to you, the most important thing about christmas is spending it with your loved ones.

Shut Up Kiss Me

Crying In The Courtyard - you find something out about your crush.

Matteo Riddle

Breaking Point - Mattheo gets into too many fights and you have enough and call off your relationship. However you are still the only person that can get through to him.

Cold Comfort - Mattheo has one rule: any girl can share his bed but none can stay the night. when the unexpected happens, and you're begging to be the first, you find out why he had the rule in the first place.

Height Difference

He’s Mine! - it seems to be a little hard to get into the christmas spirit when your little sister is hogging your boyfriend!

Back Scratches - You and Riddle cuddle.

After The Storm - you can’t find your boyfriend after an argument, and the castle is surrounded by dementors

If I Get More Pretty? - You and Mattheo have been keeping your relationship under wraps. But when doubts and insecurities begin to creep in, you find yourself questioning your worth.

For You - Mattheo gets into another fight with a new guy and when Professor McGonnagal surprisingly does not punish your boyfriend for it, you discover what she really thinks about your relationships.

Morning Starts With Cuddles And Theo's Grumbles

Grandpa Glasses - how could you possibly resist teasing your boyfriend when he looks like he stole dumbledore’s glasses?

Sleeping After An Argument - you decided not to sleep with him after an argument.

Veritaserum - When mattheo drinks veritaserum on a bet, he's confident he doesn't have anything to hide... until you show up.

Cuddle Comfort

The Black Lake - Mattheo is hogwarts' triwizard tournament champion, and he's proven that he can crush the competition. but when the stakes are raised, and you're involved, nothing will get in his way.

Riddle's Girl - Mattheo mattheo has…feelings about you wearing his quidditch jersey.

White Xmas - Mattheo comes to spend christmas with you and your family.

Chicken Noodle Soup

Puppy Eyes - your boyfriend suckered you into becoming an animagus with him, and knowing him it was probably to cause mischief.

Please, Please, Please - mattheo is your slightly toxic, slightly unhinged, but absolutely adoring and completely obsessed boyfriend.

Draco Malfoy

Busy Bee - you may have accidentally fallen asleep on Draco, but in your defense, he was really comfortable to sleep on! now, though, you're forced to face your feelings for him and do something about them.

So American - You and Draco have a lazy day. However, you and Draco take your teas differently.

Pretty Girl - although you're a hufflepuff, Draco can't seem to suppress his feelings for you and has been asking you out since third year.

DOYOUWANTTOGOTOTHEBALLWITHME? - Draco just can't seem to ask you to be his date for the Yule ball

Buy Me Presents - Draco loves you, and you love him. he just needs a little push to make things official.

Love Letters - In which Draco tries to find the girl who sends him love letters, unaware to the fact that it’s you.

The Alchemy - Although Draco promised that he would keep your relationship a secret just for you, he can’t contain himself after winning the Hogwarts quidditch cup.

Fighter - you and draco sleep in separate rooms due to an argument

Sweet Disaster - You and draco are inseparable friends, but deeper feelings come to light when you're asked on a date with someone who is determined to take advantage of you.

My Girl - You and Draco have a secret love affair, which all becomes public when he sees you upset in the corridors of Hogwarts.

Mornings By His Side - Draco Malfoy was a dream, and being able to sleep with him was a dream come true.

Lorenzo Berkshire

You’re Not Everyone Else - Enz thought he knew everything there was to know when it came to wooing pretty witches, but it will take a lot more than the botanical gardens to win you over.

Dress

In A World Full Of Boys He's A Gentleman - in a world filled with men, there’s Lorenzo Berkshire, a sweetheart and gentleman.

Stiles Stilinski

Call Me Biles - Ever since you started dating Stiles, you've been calling him Biles and no one told you you were wrong.

Tired

Rainstorms - it’s the middle of the night and you wake up due to the heavy rainstorm outside, and after you get up, your boyfriend Stiles, can’t really sleep on his own.

We're Dating?

Others

"Oh Shit, Are You Crying?" - Tangerine accidentally hurts your feelings.

"Oh Shit Are You Crying?" - Your boyfriend makes you feel unloved in some stupid misunderstanding he quickly remedies.

Pretty Boy - everyone knew you had a thing for the boy who lived, everyone, that is, except for Harry Potter himself.

Lovers Rock - you find a strange creature in the streets of New York that happens to be Newt Scamander's.

Remus Lupin x hearing impaired!reader

My Absolute Favourites - ♡

My Period Comfort Masterlist

[tinfoil-jones]

Tate Pines AU 

(aka Tater McGucket is an oops baby Fiddlestan kid)

Note: LONG POST. This is me hyper fixating on a brain worm because the Gravity Falls Fandom roared back to life. This is probably misspelled in a lot of areas, and not the clearest or most concise post because this is me rambling at 2 in the morning. Also the characters are maybe OOC. Also, this is written without accents because I'm not from the Midwest or southern United States.

In this AU/Scenario, Stan is a transgender man, and 'encountered' Fiddleford during his vagabond years. It was a heavily drunk/high one-night-stand, so they never properly met or even knew each others names. This happens after Ford graduating Backupsmore University, and for this scenario to work let’s say that Fiddleford went to BMU for his undergraduate program, but then went to the local university in Palo Alto for his graduate studies.

Years later, just like in the OG show Fiddleford is Stanford's research partner in Gravity Falls, and married to Emma-May Dixon; but they don't have any children together at this time, and they got together *after* his encounter with Stan. So this isn't an affair baby scenario.

Tatum "Tate" Pines is 5 years old, living on the road with his dad, currently staying in a motel but they're about to move into a real apartment for the first time ever because Tate needs to start school soon. Stan is still a drifter and a con man, but he recently came upon a large sum of money because Tate accurately guessed the lottery number for the state they were currently in.

Stan still receives a postcard from Gravity Falls that says "Please Come", and is allegedly sent from his estranged Twin who he hasn't seen in almost 12 years. But this is roughly a few months before it would have happened in-canon.

Given Stan's disownment, no one knows that he even has a son, not even Ma Pines. Not like he'd want them to know. Having his own son and loving him unconditionally made him realize that his own dad Filbrick was a monster, who he didn't need to prove himself to. But he still wants to reconcile with Ford, so he decides to go just like in canon.

This post card, however, wasn't sent by Ford. It was sent by Fiddleford, who was watching Ford spiral in real time and hoped that if anyone could convince Ford that he was acting crazy and unstable, it was his twin brother.

While Stanford doesn't greet Stanley with a crossbow like in the original because this is before the portal test with Fiddleford, he's definitely shocked to not just see Stanley there, but Stanley with a tiny gap-toothed child in tow.

Stan doesn't know that Ford wasn't expecting them, and excitedly introduces Ford to his nephew.

Ford: Stanley, are you sure this child is yours? Stan: ...Ford, did you forget we're not identical twins?  Ford: ...Oh! Oh my, Stanley... Stan: *thinking* 'I don't know if I'm touched that you don't see me as anything other than a man... or insulted that you forgot something so fundamental about me'

Flabbergasted, Ford lets them both in; Fiddleford is welding something downstairs so he doesn't see or hear any of this. Ford plants Tate on the couch in front of the TV and practically drags Stan to the kitchen to talk to him privately; he's too surprised by Stan having a child to question why they were there in the first place.

Ford: Is there a... another parent..? Stan: ...It's just me and Tate. Always has been. Ford: How did...? Stan: I didn't plan a pregnancy... but I had no money for T-shots for months on end, and without the T, everything down stairs went to factory default.  Ford: Do you know who it is? The father- I mean, the other father? Stan: Not exactly, some southern guy, don't think I ever got his name. Ford: What happened? Stan: Funny you should ask. (FLASHBACK) Fiddleford, high out of his mind: -and that's how I won a golden fiddle. Stan, drunk out of his mind: That's crazy, dude. *grabs him aggressively by the shirt collar to pull him close* Now shut up and fuck me until I can't walk. Fiddleford, horny out of his mind: Hoo-whee, well don't you diddly-darn mind if'n I do. (END) Ford: Stanley? Stan: Hmm? Ford: Are you okay? You just said 'its funny that you ask', and then stared off into space for 10 seconds. Stan: Let's just say I never touched tequila ever again.

Eventually, Fiddleford does come upstairs when he notices Ford didn't come back downstairs, and see's the brothers in the kitchen just as Ford asks Stan why he even came here.

Fiddleford admits it was him who sent the postcard, that someone needed to 'talk some sense' into Ford, and then introduces himself to Stan.

While Stan isn't perplexed by Fiddleford because he was too drunk to remember a face- Fiddleford, who has very good memory, immediately knows he met Stan somewhere, he just can't quite place where, when, or why.

Ford does show Stan the portal, saying it's his life's work and he'll need to test it soon, and casually asks Stan if he wants to stay and help. Before Fiddleford can protest that's a bad idea and Ford should just stop, Stan agrees because he wants to reconnect (and also keep a roof over Tate's head, what were the chances they'd win another lottery?), it did hurt his feelings that Stanford hadn't reached out out to him after all, but maybe they could work on that.

While Ford hasn't exactly forgiven Stanley for the science fair incident, he can't just let his brother, a single father be homeless with a five-year-old (Stan had to drop the lease with their intended apartment to come to Gravity Falls). And... well, Ford gets attached to Tate quite early:

Tate: ... *staring at him* Ford: Can I help you with something, Tatum? Tate: Uncle, is your name "Stanford"?  Ford: Yes, but if you prefer you can call me Uncle Ford. Tate: Oh. Okay. It's funny, Stanford is my middle name. *later* Stan: Kiddo, why has your uncle been sobbing in his room for the past thirty minutes? Tate: *shrugs*

Not realizing the gravity (hehe) of the situation, Stan gets settled in the house and helps Ford and Fiddleford where he can (usually just moving heavy objects or punching paranormal creatures, or forcing Ford to shower). He does notice that Ford seems a bit... unhinged, and weirdly obsessed with some new geometry based religion, but people change after college right?

He does get unnerved by Fords weird episodes where his personality seems to shift and he goes into town to act like an absolute menace. Stan can't help but think that isn't Ford; its been years since he saw him but damnit he knew his brother and whatever entity possessed him just to slap a cops belly, *that* was not Ford. But Ford always brushed him off when he tried to bring it up, and one time 'Ford' even coldly reminded Stan that he could remove Stanley and his son from the home at any time if he wasn't going to be useful.

During this time, Stan and Fiddleford get to know each other, they get along quite well actually; Fiddleford is fond of little Tatum, who along with Stan enjoys listening to him play the banjo. One could say, given Fords obsession with his current passion project and prioritizing work over his relationships, that Stan and Fiddleford become close. 

Fiddleford picks up, however... that little Tate is a genius. Although he's a quiet kid, he has an advanced vocabulary for his age. He's able to read and write at what must be a 2nd or 3rd grade level despite not even starting kindergarten yet, and... one time Fiddleford left an 8x8 cubiks cube unattended, and came back no more than five minutes later to see that Tate had already solved it. And Stan had told him that Tate has actively predicted lottery numbers before.

He brings it up with Stan, who admits that he already knows Tate is a genius, but he also knows what academic pressure and high expectations can do to someone (referring to Ford), and he just wants Tate to live life by his own terms, not let other people dictate that for him based on his IQ.

Fiddleford... also see's resemblances between himself and Tate. Sure, Tate has browner hair like Stan, but the wavier texture is just like his own. And while Stanley does have a prominent nose, it's not as prominent as Tates, which is much more similar to Fiddlefords. 

Fiddleford begins to ask Stan about his past, specifically bringing up that he believes they may have met before.

Fiddleford: Say, Stan, did we meet before you moved here? You're so familiar to me. Stan: I wonder where you could have possibly seen my face before? *glances at the lab* Fiddleford: No. I feel like we've met before - you ever been to Palo Alto? Stan: That city in Cali? Yeah. I'd say about six years ago. I was just passing by, resupplying, and selling weed to college students. Fiddleford: You were a weed dealer? Stan: Among other things, yeah. California's *the* place to go to for weed. I don't do it anymore. Fiddleford: Did you... ever visit the university there? Stan: A couple times. Hated going there because it reminded me of... well, I think you know. Why? Fiddleford: I did my graduate studies there, maybe I met you there? Stan: You think so? I only saw buyers, did you buy weed from me? Fiddleford: No... I had a dealer, but it wasn't you. Stan: Other than that, I did get invited to a frat party once. Think they were called "SigEp" or something. Fiddleford: That's 'Sigma Phi Epsilon'. That was the fraternity I belonged to. Did I see you at that party? Stan: Probably - oh man that party was crazy. I made so many bad decisions that night. Fiddleford: Stanley... how old did you say your son was? Stan: Five, why? Fiddleford: ... Fiddleford: Stanley... *reaches out* Stan: *jerks back, before pointing away* Hey look over there, a distraction! Fiddleford: What- *looks away* Stan: *jumps out the window and makes a run for it*

Stan does not entertain any further discussions with Fiddleford about his past, and goes out of his way to keep Tate with him and away from Fiddleford. Given his criminal past, he's afraid that if Fiddleford is correct, he could make legal actions to take Tate away from him.

Fiddleford eventually goes to Ford about his suspicions.

Fiddleford: Stanford I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to promise you'll stay calm. Stanford: *doesn't look up from microscope* Are you going to tell me you suspect you're Tatum's father because you slept with my brother around the time he would have been concieved? Fiddleford: ... Stanford: Because you are. Fiddleford: What in tar- Stanford: *tosses a file folder towards Fiddleford* I have all of our DNA on file - Fiddleford: You do???? Stanford: Of course I do! I store the DNA profile of everyone who's entered my residence, just in case there's a shifter afoot. Comparing yours and Stanley's DNA to Tatum's, there is only a 0.001% chance that he isn't your biological child. Fiddleford: ... *speechless* Stanford: Congratulations, according to science you're a father.

Fiddleford does eventually manage to talk to Stan about it, and clear the air between them. Stan is apprehensive because Fiddleford is married, but he's at least relieved that Tate happened before Fiddleford was in a relationship with Emma-May. Stan allows Fiddleford to spend more time with Tate (supervised), but they agree Tate doesn't need to know just yet what Fiddleford is to him.

Fiddleford also holds back on telling his wife about Tate, he'd prefer to tell her face-to-face.

But then the portal test happens and Fiddleford gets a glimpse of the horrors beyond the portal, which traumatizes him just like in the original. This doesn't convince him to leave, because Ford is becoming dangerous and Fiddleford is worried about what would happen if Stan and Tate were left alone with him. He invents the memory gun, but holds up on using it on himself.

The relationship Ford has with both Stan and Fiddleford  becomes more explosive. Stan and Fiddleford are both telling Ford that he's messing with forces beyond his control.

To get Fiddleford off of his back about the portals, Ford instead lashes out at him about something else.

Stanford: Fiddleford... you know you're my best friend right? Fiddleford: ...Of course. Stanford: Stanley and I don't have a good relationship... we haven't in a long time. *puts a hand on his shoulder* But don't you dare hurt my brother, or nephew. I don't care how strained things are between Stanley and myself, or how close you and I are... He's my brother, and I'll always protect him, even if it's from you. Fiddleford: Do you think I would try to steal Tatum, Stanford?! *Pushes him away* Also, if you're going to threaten me, you could at least not be such a hypocrite. Stanford: How dare- Fiddleford: You say you care about Stanley? That you'd protect him? He's been homeless for over a decade! You SAW him get kicked out of home when he was still a minor! He escaped three different prisons, had extremely shady black-market top-surgery, chewed his way out of the trunk of a car, and gave birth by himself in an alleyway! He had walking pneumonia for nearly a year straight and almost died from it because he had to choose between himself and Tate over who needed treatment more!  But you didn't know any of that, did you? Because you don't talk to him or try to reach out. You still avoid him. You still treat him like he's your enemy. You're still resentful about that damn science project.  You don't know him or what he went through. You didn't even want him here, I called him up here so maybe somebody could set you straight!  Working with this portal, messing with these forces beyond comprehension and control- the only threat to Stan and our son is you! Ford: Get the hell out of my lab- and stay the hell away from my twin.

But this 'Mystery Trio'-esque era of their lives has a Bad End:

After Ford gets sucked into the portal the same way as he did in the original, Stanley decides to take over his identity; Fiddleford helps him with everything up until Stan fakes his own death.

As Tate's biological (other) father, and Stan having recently altered Tate's birth certificate to add Fiddleford, the boy is given to Fiddleford right away following Stan's 'death' and not put into foster care or an orphanage. This window of time is also when Fiddleford establishes the Society of The Blind Eye, but he chooses a leader after he founds it rather than leading it himself.

When Stan makes it clear he's going to dedicate himself to fixing the portal and bringing Ford back, Fiddleford makes a drastic decision. 

Knowing what the portal obsession did to Stanford, Fiddleford doesn't want Tate to be around if- no, when, the same thing happens to Stan. 

He uses the memory gun on Stan to make him forget about their son entirely. He does the same thing to Tate to make him forget about Stanley, legally changes his name to Tater McGucket, and takes him back to California with him.

He makes this decision because in this scenario he never used the memory gun on himself, so the memory of what's on the other side of the portal still haunts him, making him more desperate and callous, especially with a child involved.

It breaks his heart that he did this, but he doesn't want Tate to be dragged into Pines drama. He takes the boy home and tells his wife that he was conceived before they were together (looking at Tate's age, he was born at least a year before they started dating), and uses the news clipping about Stan's death to explain how he got custody without any trouble, and Emma-May adopts Tate. Tates memory gaps are excused by his young age, and the trauma of losing a parent at such a young age, so Fiddleford and Emma-May decide not to tell him about Stanley.

Stan forgets about both Tate and Fiddleford, but he has this deep sense of loss and betrayal that he can't place. He figures over the years that maybe it's just some of his feelings about Ford having gone through the portal...

Decades later, and after a divorce, Fiddleford moves back to Gravity Falls, bringing Tate with him so Tate can start his Bait and Tackle Shop somewhere quiet. Fiddleford is there to check up on the Society of the Blind Eye, and also to check on Stanley because he feels guilty about what he did. Although he knows that this is Stanley pretending to be Stanford, he says nothing to anybody about it, it's the least he could do.

When Stan see's Fiddleford again - he doesn't know why, because he's 'never met the guy', but just looking at his face pisses him off. And every time Stan see's Fiddleford from then on, whether its across the street or at the shops or what have you, he is openly hostile towards him even if he can't adequately explain why he feels this way about Fiddleford. Also strangely attracted to him, particularly his banjo playing, but its overshadowed by his hostility.

Stan meets Tate shortly after the Tate and Backles Bait and Tackle shop is opened... and he doesn't know why, but this young man he's never met makes him feel sad. But also... Relieved? Elated? Proud?? He comes by often, sometimes not even buying (or stealing) anything, he just chats with Tate (and Backle to a lesser degree).

Tate himself feels strangely fond of this frequent flier customer. Like he's met a dear old friend. He is awfully confused why Stan will sometimes call him 'Tatum', seemingly without noticing, and why he never feels like correcting him. 

Fiddleford knows why, because he never erased his own memory, and he feels so guilty. But it's been 30 years, he can't say anything without ruining his relationship with Tate (which became strained after the divorce, which in this timeline happened maybe around Tate's late teen/early adult years). 

One way that this whole thing can be revealed is when Dipper and Mabel deal with The Blind Eye society, they find two memory tubes, one labelled "Tatum S. Pines" and another labeled "Stan Pines" take it with them because it has their last name, and Grunkle Stans name, on them.

They play the one labeled Stan Pines at first, and realize it's Tates early childhood memories of Stan.

When they play the one labeled "Tatum S. Pines" they see it's all of Grunkle Stans memories of Tate, leading up to his confrontation with Fiddleford.

(MEMORY) Stan, backing up: Wait, what is that thing? Fiddleford, what are you doing with that?! Fiddleford, pointing the memory gun at him: I'm sorry Stan, I truly am. But I can't let you drag our son into this... I do care for you, and I wish things could have been different. But you're just like him!  **BLAST** (END OF MEMORY)

This horrifies them, and they have a real moral conundrum of if they tell Stan and Tate, or if they keep it to themselves to keep the peace. 

They deserve to know... but it'd be so painful. And this would take place before "The Tale of Two Stans" so they don't even know what Fiddleford was talking about to justify stealing Tate, or who 'him' is.

Eventually, it's Wendy and Soos who confront McGucket and tell him that he better be honest with Stan and Tate, or they're going to do it for him. That he's a selfish coward who ripped someone's young child from their arms.

Or, an alternative scenario; Fiddleford never stored those memories in the first place, or at least didn't store them with the Society of the Blind Eye, and it's Ford who brings this all up to Stan. Ford was already through the portal when Fiddleford decided that parental abduction was totally okay if there was amnesia involved.

Ford: Are these Tatum's children? *motioning to Dipper and Mabel*. Stan: They're Shermie's grandkids, and - who? Ford: ...Tatum? Tatum Stanford Pines? Your son. Stan: ...I don't- I don't have a son. *tears gathers in the corner of his eyes, but he either doesn't notice, or chooses to not react* And if I did, I wouldn't give him your name as a middle. Ford: Yes you do, and yes you did. You introduced us right before the portal incident. I even DNA-sequenced him to confirm that his other father was Fiddleford. Stan: WHAT? And- who?? Ford: Here, look *pulls up his DNA files from ones of his secret safes in the lab and shows it to Stanley, which not only has the DNA results but also pictures of Stanley, Fiddleford, and Tate from the time* Honestly Stanley, how could you forget a child you car-.

Ford realizes something is wrong when it's clear that Stanley is distressed, but also confused, like having a son is legitimately a surprise to him. He's so shocked he has to lie down for a bit. His eyes keep leaking tears but he doesn't know why 'Fords cruel and oddly elaborate joke' is making him so upset, because 'clearly it's not true'.

When Ford hears Fiddleford lives in Gravity Falls, he seeks him out and demands answers.

At first, Fiddleford tries to play it off like maybe Ford was remembering things wrong - but with enough pressure, and a ray gun pointed at his chest, Fiddleford finally comes clean. About what he did. Why he did it.

Ford is still angry at Stan for getting him trapped in the Nightmare Realm Multiverse for 30 years; and then stealing his name, identity, and house, but that's still his twin brother. And what Fiddleford did was to him was horrendous, especially after Stanford had already warned him years ago to not to hurt Stan or Tate. This was a crime against the whole Pines family. 

So Ford beats him up. No, he doesn't kill or maim him, but he beats the living dog shit out of him until Fiddleford promises the glass tubes of Stan and Tate's memories in exchange for mercy.

Mabel, Dipper (and Soos/Wendy) are clearly confused (because they wouldn't have seen the memories in the "The Hall of the Forgotten"). Although, this whole revelation does bring Dipper closer to Stan, because Dipper had no idea he wasn't the only transgender person in the family.

Ford shows these memories to Stan first, who is going through all kinds of emotions especially after getting Ford back and their bitter reunion. This allows Ford and Stan to somewhat reconcile early; just like how Ford lost 30 years of his life to the portal, Stanley lost 30 years with his own son because of his conviction to fix it.

Ford also has to physically stop Stan from hunting down and murdering Fiddleford (who Stan only knew as McGucket up to this point) with his bare hands. Reminding him that it's more important that he reaches out to Tate.

But Stan is conflicted. He wants to be Tate's dad again but... Tate is in his mid-thirties, he doesn't need him like he did when he was 5. And Tate already has two loving parents, both of which don't have an extensive criminal record, and who provided him with a stable home, which Stan never did because they were homeless the whole time.

Does he really want to uproot Tate's life and/or peace of mind with a revelation this big?  

This goes all the way to Weirdmageddon, where everyone gathers in the Mystery Shack for security; faced with a possible end of the world, Stan takes Tate to the side, dragging Fiddleford with them, and tells him the truth. Fiddleford confirms it all, ashamed and apologetic. Finally, they give Tate his memory tube, which he watches.

For a moment Stan and Fiddleford have a moment of solidarity; Stan can see that Fiddleford really did want to spare Tate from whatever unknown-at-the-time fate had befallen Stanford because of the portal.

Fiddleford finally faces his past mistakes, and apologizes for what he did. That what he did was wrong, and he can never make it up to them, but if they survive this maybe he could try to make things right.

This is their last family moment between the three of them pre memory-wipe.

The mind wipe thing still happens. Gravity Falls is saved. Mabel and Dipper manage to jog Stan's memory but there's no way to make him remember Tate - the glass memory tubes have already been used, and Stan didn't keep any photos from his homeless era because he couldn't afford it most of the time, and when he could he always managed to get kicked out of whatever state they were in before the photos were done developing.

Once again, Ford comes in clutch. Throughout his last journal, just like how he made entries about Fiddleford, he also made entries about Stan and Tate, including detailed sketches. How Tate liked to get into high places, exasperating Stanley who was afraid of heights. How Stan would take him to the woods to follow the creeks because Tate was intrigued by waterways. How Tate said so few words but Stan always seemed to know exactly what he wanted or needed at any given time. How Tate only liked eating the green M&M's but Stan was fine with it because he got to eat the rest. 

Now while Stan's heartwarming memories of his son come back, so does his desire to break Fiddlefords neck. 

Fiddleford still buys the Northwest Mansion and converts it to "McGucket's Hootenanny Hut", but because the Pines families are the heroes of Gravity Falls, they (Ford) manage to convince the local government to put Fiddleford on house arrest for an indeterminate amount of time as punishment for 30-something years of parental abduction and alienation (also the whole starting a Cult thing). Fiddleford accepts this, and Tate still lives with him.

Post memory-wipe Stan still reconciles with both of them, and his relationship with Fiddleford is... weird, but not entirely bad. It's like they're dating, but with a lot of emotional distance. Like, Stan still tells Ford he wants to murder him... but also tells him to never, ever, check their texting history. 

Stan still goes to sail the world with Ford on the Stan O'War II. They do invite Tate, who declines because "He'd rather just live the simple life in Gravity Falls, and not get involved in whatever supernatural gobbledygook his dad and uncle are sure to get into".

And Stan is so proud of him... because just like he said thirty years, there's nothing he wanted more for Tate than to live his life by his own terms. He video chat's with him as often as he does with Dipper and Mabel. 

Tate ends up keeping McGucket as his last name, but he changes his first and middle back to what it was originally.

And that's the end of this tale, thanks for sticking with me. Here's a passage where Ford teases Stan while they're on their sea adventure;

Ford: It was so sweet of you to give your son my name. Stan: Poindexter, I swear to Moses. Ford: Even after a decade apart. Admit it, you missed me so much. Stan: *rolls his eyes* Of course I did. Stan: Stan: But the real reason that's his middle name is because he was conceived at Stanford University. Ford: I- Ford: I really didn't want to know or think about that.

The End... Go home.

[viesin]

𝘙𝘰𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘛𝘟𝘛'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧***𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘨𝘶𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘢𝘱𝘵

𓆈 genre: headcanon, nsfw, crack, fluff

𓆈 scene: you are getting pounded on the dining room couch in the shared apt and your roommate walks in

𓆈 wc: 1.2k

𓆈 tw: pet names - bunny, profanities, dirty jokes, my commentary - third person omniscient, cheating? ntr, they all wanna fuck reader except tyun, blackmail, soobin is sneaky, mention of double penetration and sexual innuendos but not explicit smut, not rlly a trigger but intentional misspellings

𓆈 note: didn't knaurr i had it in me but here we fkinh gaurr

ʏᴇᴏɴᴊᴜɴ

Yeonjun had a habit of surprising his roommate with small joys that breathed life into you such as this ice cream, he bought all so in a hurry and when he was about to tiptoe discreetly to not threaten you with his presence, he was met with a shadowy figure instead pumping His cream into you.

First came a bolt of shock, preferrably 200 bolts, then a glimpse, a sigh, a stare and all so mouth gagging excitement bubbled in his chest as he watched more and more. He made out the figure's fine abs in the dimly lit room and for a moment he wasn't sure whether to be jealous of you or him savouring every inch of you, one he was dying to do for let's say a solid 2 month pipeline. He would be torn between the thrill of a possible ntr (one he never realized he had it in him) and the sheer disappointment of his loneliness and jealousy like damn! A whole damn year and he couldn't get laid with you but a white guy did it in one week. It wasn't until 5 minutes into his presence had you realized someone was watching you.

So you did what any sane woman would do, and that is "the show must go on". The guy kept going at it, immersed in the sweet of your cookie, pulling onto your breast. It was sweaty, steamy and very convenient of a sight from the crook of the corner from the main door had his ice cream not melted at the heat of Yeonjun's palm. But he was well adjusted to it by now, hence the pretty scenery could go on about 20 minutes then you appeared half shock, ignored his determination to stand in silence and wore your outfit back. Yeonjun eased himself in the acting too, mumbled a breathy sorry for disturbing and highfive'd the guy as he went out of the picture.

You will think this was the end of a great night, to which now your surprise, Yeonjun shamelessly blurted "Do you think I can do better than him?" with his hands on his neck, mouth laced with a sly grin.

sᴏᴏʙɪɴ

Now you'd think he'd be the type to let out a monstrous scream at the nudity, a man much known to be disgusted by PDA. No, he found himself meditating before calmly closing the distance and checking out the position of you two.

He clicks his tongue a tch tch "This is not how it should be done" and begins watching with a side eye like the victorian noble lady he is, with imaginary handcrafted lacy fan coating upto his bangs. What's worse than some scolding is his bitter judgement and a full length lecture of how the man should eat you out. To this, yes the man abides. Who can turn down revelations from a tall wise man who seems way too serious and way too into this. "No no.. look, from this side" "Slowly, you're not a goblin" "Sigh lemme show you how it's done" were the sentences he said with a relaxed expression as if he were genuinely trying to help you out.

He did make it out to be a practical life lesson with Soobin sesh till the point of a double penetration where he lets loose, wild, hoarse voiced "fuck yes, slut" "tell me how you want it", you realized yeah this went down horribly wrong.

ʙᴇᴏᴍɢʏᴜ

Oppurtunist, in one word. He just has to make everything a way to get under your nerves or on your clit, you decide. Will say he didn't mind at all, he doesn't even care but the moment he goes to his room, prawnhub intro will leak through the thin door. Say he doesn't mind at all but bring that up as an inside joke every single time. You're eating? He's giving dirty eyes. "Yeah eat well, bunny. You need energy after a good fuck" You're doing laundry? He's smirking. You're feeding your cat? Absolutely nothing sexual but he's eyefucking you. You want him to forget allat and strike a deal then he's the epitome to blatanly ask for it. "Yeah sure, if you sit on my lap. Maybe I won't bother you anymore" says in a half-joking manner, leaning on the doorframe. Few minutes later he's serious about it. Sitting on the couch, same place where you were fucking another guy, legs all spread and tapping on his thighs, eyeing you up. Honestly it's not such a losing deal so you would, sit on him. Both hands roaming all over your body and his pendrive poking your back, he'd have a cocky grin like he fucking earned it.

ᴛᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴ

Burnt out, limp and exhausted Taehyun comes home, waiting for that sweet moment his aching back will finally touch the feathery bed. The first scene he sees is this, this fuckery.

A frech kiss session on his freshly cleaned couch, the one, only he is in the charge of cleaning, actually like most things since he thinks you are a bum, he's too impatient and he definitely does it way better than you. His washed couch cover, steam vaccumed crooks and cranies and 3 puffs of antiseptic were being destroyed by two sweaty animals in heat. The sight! Oh the sight devastated Taehyun like a grocery bill at the very last few days of the month before getting his salary. He doesn't care what you do in your room, bathroom whatever but really a shared space? This is where he watches his low cardio, strengthening muscle build workout routine perfect for pros while eating 5 eggs 2 strips of bacon high protein breakfast.

"Filthy fuckers" will be the last scream you'll hear from him before he beats you both with a nearby dumbbell, hides your body and burns the couch on fire to germinate. That is unless you apologise 127 times and mortgage your kidneys till you buy him a new one.

ʜᴜᴇɴɪɴɢᴋᴀɪ

Supportive but cunt of a man Hueningkai is ready to leave the moment he sees you two. "Oops, sorry sorry. Enjoy" then he comes back to get his supposed charger. 2 minutes later he's cooking ramen in the kitchen telling you he's just hungry and not to mind him. Half an hour later he's watching you like a netflix series chowing down the ramen. He'll assure you it's okay, ignore his presence, think of him like a cockroach till he gets rock hard and you don't know when exactly he started stroking it. You don't argue the sight is simply impeccable, as for someone who likes pathetic men. The way he is trying hold his stifles and whimpers, raised intensity of his movement and the arousing sight of your innocent happy little roommate getting off to you stirs something so raw inside you that you'd let go of the man fucking you balls deep to run ride kai. Kai begged and asked for it as you give the man sorry eyes and ride that precum covered tip, one you were trying to fuck for decades but was too shy to. The lonely man would either have a breakdown or join from the back or you three have to evacuate the whole building, all depends on state of the gas stove kai forgot to turn off after making his late night snack.

[yukkuo]

ROVER NATION IS STARVED AND WE ARE ON OUR KNEES FOR ANY SORT OF FOOD TO GET BY 😭😭😭 I loved your rover hcs post oh my goodness!! so I couldn't help but come by to drop some ingredients 💛💛

MRover whose resting face is just that damn puppy eyes like his (spiritual) tail is perpetually wagging...Reader cannot handle it with their cuteness aggression and ends up pinching the hell out of his cheeks!! Rover playfully fights back but you know, Lord Arbiter and Mighty Godkiller and all that he easily overpowers them without thinking...which ends in them mutually flustered 🤯🤯🤯

- RoverGlazer9000 💚

𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍

Probably OOC, swearing, Rover being a cutie, misspelling,

HELLO SORRY THIS IS A BIT LATE I HAD STATE EXAMS BUT I'M FREE NOW‼️ Also this is so cute. I'M SORRY ROVERGLAZER9000 IF I GOT THIS WRONG OR IF IT'S NOT TO YOUR LIKING I TRIED MY BEST💔. Also real cause why is there no Rover things.

Travelling with Rover was certainly something. Adventurous for sure, caught up with a lot of drama and finding out who he was and what he did. Because what do you mean you're standing besides the founder of Jinzhou and the Black shores??

Anyways, it was difficult to believe such things. Especially when you as much as glance at him, a hard task to keep a straight face when serious situations happen. All because he was too..

Cute.

And it's not only because you had happen to like him, he was generally pleasing to the eye (in your opinion at least), but it was the way his resting face made you notice that he resembled a puppy, especially around you. Sometimes you even think he actually had a tail when you ask him for something, you have to blink a few times or subtly pinch yourself just to make sure you weren't going crazy. Most of the time, he would stare at nothing in particular while he was thinking, his face would relax and it would simply remind you of a puppy.

Maybe it was just your imagination.

So here you are, walking besides him while you stare at his face. He was staring ahead, yet he couldn't help but start to wonder why you were suddenly so fixated on him. Was there something on his face? Did you want him to start a conversation?

It wasn't until you got a hold of his arm, making him stop on his tracks while he turned his head towards you. Your blank face beginning to make him nervous, were you made at him?

"Whats wrong?" He asked as he maintaining his composure. And for a moment, for a split moment you swear you saw dog ears droop and the tail stop wagging.

"..." You only stared and stared, it was starting to get him more nervous than he already was.

"[Name]..?"

You let go of his arm, reaching up to his face with both hands before cupping his cheeks. His eyes widened, and right there and then the tail starting wagging fast as his ears perked up.

His puppy demeanor had enchanted you.

"You're so.." You inhaled, eyebrows furrowed. He was so cute. Why was he like this? It was like he had bewitched you so you could look at him and never tear your gaze away. Like it was intentional to have your attention and eyes on him at all times.

"Wha— ACK!" He flinched when you suddenly started pinching his cheeks. Stretching them and making them sting by the slightest, his hands coming up to your wrists and holding them. But he didn't tear them away, not yet at least.

"[Namesh]! T-that shtings!" He whined, he had absolutely no idea what had gotten into you. You started moving his head around gently, your eyebrows pressed together as your lips pressed into a thin line.

"You're too cute!! WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE SO CUTE??!" You began to shake him a bit, a difficult task to keep your emotions in check as you try not to make him fall.

You suddenly feel hands hold your cheeks, stretching them the same as you were to Rover. He managed to grab yours in return, now both of you pinching each others cheeks.

"Letsh go.."

"Yoh firsht.."

A battle amongst you both in who would release first. You? Or the all mighty God killer.

It didn't take long before you both started shaking each other, not enough to make you both stumble to the ground, but enough to show the gentle aggression held for one another.

It didn't take long before Rover was the one who managed to get control of the situation, coming out as the victory when you let go of his cheeks and held onto his wrists.

"Yeah doesn't feel so good now does it??" With a playful jest, it was his turn to shake you a bit. His cheeks still stung but he ignored it, a small price to pay.

"I'm shorrryy.." You whined, eyes shut as he tormented you cheeks while he chuckled.

It didn't take long before his cuteness aggression died down (not really) and he let go of your face. You held your face with a small whimper as it stung, consequences of your actions.

"Sorry sorry.. I didn't hurt you right?" He chuckled again.

"Other than pulling on my cheeks as if they were made out of rubber.. No, you did not" you sent a playful glare at his direction.

"A haha..." He cleared his throat, avoiding you gaze as his cheeks were coated in a red. Most likely from pinching them, you think.

"So.. You think I'm cute?" He asked.

"Huh?" You blinker once, twice. Then it hit.

Oh my God you called him cute without even thinking. You might as well as kill yourself on the spot got letting that slip out.

"Uhm.. I mean, y-yeah? Well you're cute in general— I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE NOT TO ME!! I just meant it like— everyone finds you cute yeah!—"

"I'm glad."

"..?" You blinked, looking at him as his head was turned away from you. Yet you managed to spot the bright red color on his ears. Now it was your turn to be red, face and all, head to toes.

[kellyvela]

And for the first time in hundreds of years, the night came alive with the music of Dire Wolves 🐺 🐺 🐺

~~~

NOT REALLY . . . .

Despite all the hype, they are just gray wolves with seventeen or eighteen changes in their DNA 🤷‍♀️

But let's talk about about Romulus, Remus and *Khaleesi*

~~~

GRRM CRIED

CBR: How did George R.R. Martin handle meeting the creatures he wrote about? Lamm: I did fly George out to meet the Wolves, and he cried! He completely cried. He said this was like one of the greatest things that he's ever seen.

~~~

WHY KHALEESI?

CBR: Why did you name one of the Dire Wolves after Khaleesi instead of one of the Wolves in the series like Nymeria? Lamm: Well, it's a great question, and the first two were brothers. The show has multiple Wolves in it, one being obviously the most famous, Ghost. But a lot of them have brown fur, and they're shaggy, and there are black ones. But Dire Wolves were white. They mostly look like Ghosts, number one. So we thought, "Do we name the first one Ghost?" But then we didn't feel like that attached them very well together, and if you go back to Greek mythology, and Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, these are like the founders of the extinction of the de-extinction world. And so we felt like Romulus and Remus were good names. In the show, unfortunately, as you know, Lady dies, and so we didn't want to name the first female Lady, because we thought it was a bad omen. So we thought if we named her Khaleesi, you know, obviously, fans of the show and the books would love them. I think the bigger the fans, the more the stars will love them. There are people who are just Hardcore Targaryen fans. So we thought it was an homage to the rest of A Song of Ice and Fire, and we wanted to name her Khaleesi because we wanted to name her Lady. Well, we will probably have another few Dire Wolves in future litters, because we want to get to about 6 to 8 to the right population in their impact dynamics, which we think is about 6 to 8 here. And so we have the first two brothers, and we didn't want one to be named Ghost, because everyone would just talk about Ghost, and no one would talk about the other one. We were trying to be a little bit more diplomatic and fair to the animals, but you can be assured that probably one of the future ones will be named Ghost.

As if Khaleesi were a good omen 🙃

~~~

MATE FOR LIFE?

Lamm says that Romulus, Remus, and Khaleesi will not be allowed to breed. 

Sorry jonerice 💀

~~~

THE IRON THRONE

[Peter] Jackson — who is an investor in the biotechnology company — loaned Colossal the official touring 330-pound Iron Throne prop that was used in promotions for the Game of Thrones series. Prior to today, it wasn’t known that Jackson owned it, as it sold last year in a bidding war for $1.49 million to a then-undisclosed bidder. For a glam photo shoot, Colossal flew Romulus and Remus to Dallas, Texas, and snapped them lolling on the fictional seat of power.

~~~

GRRM - COLOSSAL BIOSCIENCES INVESTOR

Colossal reached out to Martin after it started work on its dire wolf de-extinction project. Not only did he sign on as a Colossal Biosciences cultural adviser and investor, Martin also flew to meet Romulus and Remus at their private preserve (which Colossal says has been certified by the American Humane Society).

~~~

KIT IS MESMERISED

Poor Kit, even the scientists misspelled his last name . . . .

~~~

SOPHIE TURNER - WOLF ADVOCATE

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

~~~

THE JONSA AGENDA 🤭

Still, Colossal’s scientists believe they are on to something powerful. Matt James, the company’s chief animal officer—who once worked as senior director of animal care at the Dallas Zoo and Zoo Miami, where he managed the welfare of 7,000 animals representing 500 species—felt the significance of the science when Romulus and Remus were just 5 or 6 weeks old. The staff was weighing the little pups, and one of the veterinary techs began singing a song from The Little Mermaid. When she reached a point at which she vocalized first up, then down, Romulus and Remus turned her way and began howling in response. “For me,” James says, “it was sort of a shocking, chilling moment.” These pups were the first to produce a howl that hadn’t been heard on earth in over 10,000 years.

There's always a redhead (half fish) making snowy white direwolves howl . . . . 🧜🏻‍♀️ ❤️ 🐺

The Jonsa Agenda is real you all 😎

~~~

Read more here:

[queer-n-here]

Hear me out. Ranpo x Sugar daddy!reader

Ranpo has been distracting you working at your office lately and being quite a brat lately. He would complained about you being working too much, purposely touching your body intimately while you work, even sending you videos of him masturbating at your guys shared bedroom just to tease you.

“𝘔!𝘺/𝘯~”

You wanted to punish him for behaving badly.Later..at night time, you saw Ranpo at your guys shared bedroom and you immediately pinned him down to your guys shared bed.

“You think you can tease me all you want huh? I guess it's time for 𝙥𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚~”

This time, your not going to let him climaxed easily without him begging for you~

(Bonus: You let him buy any candies that he'd like the next day since you felt bad for punishing him)

I leave the rest to you. (Rough sex, praise kink, maybe overstimulation?)

(I have a feeling there's some misspelling words, but hey! English isn't my first language anyway-)

- 💕

Well, well, well... Will you look at that.

Y'all share the same braincell. So here goes!

Also, phew, it's been a shit ton of while since I posted. Hope y'all like it!

Content: Fucking Ranpo cus he was being a brat. (I may or may not have looked over the sugar daddy element that the req asked for, I didn't notice it, sorry!)

Warnings: Smut, top male reader, biting, praise kink, edging, overstim.

You were so frustrated it was starting to show up on your face even when you didn't want it to.

It was all Ranpo, but the people that ended up taking the brunt of it were your employees.

I mean, just look at what he did last week. You were working from home that day, head buried in files and paperwork that made an ache develop between your eyes.

Ranpo entered your study, coming over to stand beside your chair as you worked, making you look up to pass him a tired smile.

When you looked up, you saw a mischievous glint in his eyes. Your mind was preoccupied, however, so you did not pay it much attention. Ranpo lounged around the study while you worked away, the scribbling of your pen the only sound for a while. Then, he walked closer to you, and you let him plant himself on your lap, snuggling into the crook of your neck, making you smile.

Soon enough, however, you found out that Ranpo's intention was nothing wholesome. His hands started roaming, first only resorting to massaging your shoulder slightly, then moving lower. He caressed your chest through your shirt, then moved lower still to your torso, rubbing the hard abs through your clothes. His hands were wicked like the devil, and soon you felt him palm your dick through your pants.

The sudden contact made your spine stiffen, and you shot Ranpo a half-annoyed, half-aroused look.

He nuzzled into your neck, planting small kisses along the skin there as his hand rubbed slowly, and soon your pants were straining against the boner that he'd caused.

"Ranpo," Your voice was thick with arousal and you'd long abandoned the thought of work. "Do you wanna do it, baby?"

He smirked against your jaw, and you mirrored the action. Just as you were going to lift him from your lap and place him into the table, however, your phone rang.

Mr. Yaho. An important client.

Not as important as the situation at hand, though. But in the split second that you'd taken your eyes off Ranpo to check who was calling, he'd managed to slip away from your grasp.

"I see you're busy, [Name]." He said, visibly suppressing a grin. "I'll come visit later, then."

And before you could stop him, he turned on his heels and left you alone with your raging boner.

But that wasn't even the worst of it. You managed to calm yourself and take the call, that was fine. You were fine. But then your client wanted to hold an emergency meeting (that dramatic little-) so you had to rush to your office.

And during the meeting, Ranpo truly pushed his limits.

Your phone dinged, and you saw your lock screen flash with Ranpo's name on it, so you decided to check if he needed something. When you opened the message, though, you saw that it was a video.

You looked up. Your client's representative was talking, gesturing vaguely to the powerpoint presentation he had prepared. You lowered down the volume of your phone, and hit play on the video.

And were you glad you did.

The video showed you and Ranpo's shared bed, basking in the sunlight from the window next to it. But that wasn't all. Sitting on the bed was the love of your life, legs spread wide open and pressing a dildo deeper and deeper into his ass.

He made eye contact with you, with the camera, and even though the volume was down, you could tell from the way Ranpo's mouth had fallen open that he was moaning.

Your pants were suddenly suffocatingly tight.

You were in a meeting room, surrounded by people of your company, and that of another, supposedly listening to the other party's proposal about something that wasn't even important enough to remember anymore. And your lover had sent you a video of him masturbating.

You wanted to close the video and shut your phone, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from the screen.

Ranpo pushed the dildo in deeper, and, throwing his head back to reveal his gorgeous neck that he knew you were obsessed with, he said something.

You read his lips without even meaning to.

"Fuck me harder, [Name]!"

"Mr. [Last Name]?" Someone called, and your head snapped up in surprise.

The entire meeting room was looking at you.

"Well," You shut your phone and placed it screen-down on the table, pretending as if you hadn't been watching anything scandalous. "The proposal is well-planned, but I fear that our budget might be able to grant us something even better than this. Suppose, if we..."

___

When you returned home, the first thing you did was drop your blazer onto the living room floor and rush to find Ranpo.

You found him in the kitchen, and he looked up innocently at you when you walked in.

"Oh, you're back ho-mmh!" You grabbed his face and kissed him roughly.

Ranpo wasn't surprised, not really. But he still acted as if he was, placing his hands against your chest as you stepped closer to him.

"[Name]!" He managed to pull away enough to say. "Wait, didn't you ju-"

And you kissed him again, grabbing his hips and squeezing them, feeling his breath hitch against you so wonderfully

You fucking needed him.

You took him to your shared bedroom, bodily throwing him onto the bed before stripping and climbing on after him.

You grabbed and Ranpo and stripped him, too, tugging at his clothes with so much force you ripped his shirt. Around then, Ranpo had already realized that the consequences of his actions were going to be more... intense than he'd expected.

You leaned down to kiss him, pinning his wrists to the bed and spreading his legs apart. Your movements were hurried and rough, and even though Ranpo wouldn't willingly admit it out loud, he loved every second of being manhandled.

"Fuck, this is what you wanted, isn't it?" You hissed against his mouth, free hand rising to grip his throat and press against his throat, making him whimper. "This is why you were being such a brat."

You could feel Ranpo growing harder and harder against your own arousal, and so you pulled away from his mouth, aligning your tip with his begging hole instead. You plunged in, and he arched his back, a loud moan leaving his lips at the sudden feeling of being stuffed full.

"Hhngh, wait, [Name]!" He said, feigning innocence. "What do you-Ahh!"

You thrusted into him, your hips rolling in that way you knew he liked. Ranpo decided to abandon his pretense, and threw his head back against the bed, hands struggling against your grip to try and find purchase to ground himself. You let them go, placing your hands on his waist instead.

You gained a rhythm, his walls nice and tight around your throbbing cock as you stretched him out on it. The sounds of your coupling were reverberated in the room, sparks of pleasure shooting up your crotch at his warmth around you. You leaned down to kiss and bite at his neck, and he subconsciously moved his head away to give you more room. His pale skin flushed red under your teeth.

"You're such a fucking brat, Ranpo." You said, your movements animalistic and fast, your gaze predatory on Ranpo. "You fucking knew I was in a meeting when you sent that video."

"What- mmph!" He grabbed your shoulders, fingers digging into his skin as you fucked him so good. "What meeting?"

Your eyes flashed with half-annoyance and half-arousal, and you pushed Ranpo's hands away, pinning his knees against his chest to gain more access of his slutty hole.

You found his sweet spot painfully easily, hitting it repeatedly and making him arch his back right off the bed as his eyes widened. He loved this, he loved you, loved the way you fucked him.

His moans had turned into cries, and he was gripping the sheets beneath him so hard you were almost distracted enough to worry whether or not he'd tear them.

"Ff-ffu-" His eyes were tearing up. "I'm gonna... Nngh! I'm gonna come!"

"Not so soon." You ordered, your voice husky amidst your pants. "D'you think I'd let you?"

"Mmh, please," Ranpo was sobbing now, holding his legs apart so you could bully his hole with your cock, rearrange his insides to the shape of it. "Please, please, [Name], please..."

His eyes were growing hazier with each thrust of yours, his chest rising and falling rapidly as your hips bludgeoned into his, your onslaught rapid and destructive. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in the room, not quite drowned out by Ranpo's cries.

"You haven't been good lately, Ranpo." You clicked your tongue, your face holding a fake-sorry expression. "So I don't think I should let you."

He whined, and the tears that were slipping down his face fell down to form puddles on the bed on either side of his face.

"I'll be good from now -hic- please." He let his legs fall and wrapped his arms around your neck. "Please, [Name], I'll be so good, hmmph!"

"Hmm... still not sure, baby." Your cock felt so good, so good. Ranpo was clenching around you so tight trying to please you, it was getting harder to thrust in and out.

He buried his face into the crook of your neck, fucked out so dumb the only thing he could think about was the orgasm you weren't letting him experience.

"Please," He whined. "Please, [Name], I'll be a good boy, I'll be so-Nngh! I'll be so good for you, please."

And so you took pity on him.

"Go on then, my pretty boy, such a good slut for me." You murmured in his ears, and he came immediately from the praise.

His body jolted along the bed, cock twitching as he came all over his abdomen, hole clenching so tight you released in him, too, panting and huffing but not slowing down.

His eyes widened impossibly big as he realized you weren't stopping, and more sobs racked his sensitive body as you continued assaulting it.

"[Name]," Ranpo could only whine your name, hands gripping your shoulders so hard he was drawing blood.

"Come on," You smirked, fucking him harder and faster. "You wanted this. Isn't that why you sent that video, hmm?"

And Ranpo could do nothing but whine, nodding pathetically as you fucked him stupid, fucked him till his cock was shooting blanks, till he didn't even have the strength to keep his eyes open, and passed out with you still buried inside of him.

You let him rest, deciding that you'd clean up later, and collapsed next to him, not before pulling out and watching your seed flow out from between his limp legs.

It turned you on all over again, but you simply placed a chaste kiss on Ranpo's forehead, pulled him into your arms, and let sleep take you.

---

Bonus: The next day, Ranpo was parading around the hickeys that you'd given him at the supermarket, where you'd taken him to pick out sweets as an apology for how rough you'd been the previous night.

As he turned around to look at you, pointing out another snack that he wanted to try, he passed you another bedazzling smile. You leaned forwards, placing a soft kiss on his forehead, barely aware of the fact that cart you were pushing was already full.

"Whatever you want, baby." You murmured, and Ranpo smiled wider.

"Then, can I buy all the flavors?" He asked, looking at you with the eyes that he knew you couldn't say no to.

"Of course you can."

[doodler16]

I think this is the new crossover trailer in a nutshell:

It was pretty childish until Blitzø poped up and started cursing a storm.

Vivienne had to gloat again about how Amazon greenlit Hazbin Hotel for at least four seasons.

Blitzø (Viv) had to poke fun at some stuff and terms circulating around in in the fanon space (like "Hash Brown Motel" which is usually used by people who don't like the series).

She practically sold Helluva Boss to keep it going for as long as possible while making sure she will get her lenghty episodes where she will shove the yaoi slop of her dirty dreams (and will also STILL have the audacity to call it "indie" just like always).

Of course Charlie had to defend Vivienne from Blitzø calling her a "bitch" (and he was a king for it,love you Blitz. Not to mention he has all the right to do it after everything he's been put through).

Vassago cameo (who even needs this fucker?).

Possible foreshadowing of Blitzø probably doing the deed with Angel Dust? Blitzø also used the common misspelling of his name when referring to him.

We are getting that "Lucifer in the same room with the other sins" idea that Vivziepop kept moaning about for years.

Again,more audacity from Miss Medrano where she has to say through her characters that "animation takes a long time!" (I don't feel like explaining this one now).

Charlie is (again) a crybaby at the end.

Blitzø accidentally proves the point of these shows having too many characters. Also notice how he didn't bring Angel Dust after mentioning him (not that we need him anyway,but at least he didn't bring Val),disrespected Vaggie by misspelling her name,and made a jab at the fandom thirsting for Alastor.

I personally found this more entertaining than both shows and that has to be saying something about the writing of this mess.

PS:Charlie and Blitzø had much more chemistry with each other in this promotinal thing,which is not even canon,than with their supposed love interests.

1. It felt pretty normal until Blitzø dropped in.

2. I don’t blame her for gloating, I would do the same thing 😂. Honestly, I wish they at least had a new update for season 2 and it’s release date but it’s whatever. Looks like they are still in production phase. So, of course they are repeating the same information.

3. Yup!

4. If you are backed up by a million- billion dollar company you aren’t indie anymore, even if you have all creative control!

5. I unironically believe Erika would say this in real life (potentially worded differently) especially in a Hazbin Hotel interview or con. That’s my conspiracy theory.

6. Lil bro is not on the team, stop forcing him down our throats every 5 seconds.

7. Season 1 Blitzø, I can definitely see him having sex with Angel Dust but right now he’s more focused on Stolas. At best, I can see Blitzø becoming friends with Angel Dust.

8. They are going to be in the same room, finally!

9. Ironic especially when she’s been outsourcing and there have been several testimonials of ex employees saying how disorganized and overworked Spindlehorse is.

10. Pretty in character, this I will let slide.

11. Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are bloated, even the characters feel meshed together.

Charlie and Blitzø were pretty cute together and their dynamic is intriguing (especially when you take in consideration of the class difference). I wonder if they will address that or have Blitzø and Charlie make a plan to fix the hierarchy.

[presleyslilbaby]

Request: imagine being Elvis wife & what that would include please thanks

~His Wife~

(60's!Elvis X Reader)

(Thank you for the request! I hope that you enjoy this short little story! It's not...Traditional...? Does that make sense...? I hope you like it anyways! There might be misspellings, so be aware of that-)

When you had first met Elvis in person, it was like a dream come true for you, like some sort of fantasy story. You had to admit, it wasn't easy talking to him. You kept fumbling over your words, having been in too much awe to speak properly. And Elvis adored that about you. Soon enough, the two of you began to hang out more and more, spending more time with each other than he spent with the Guys, and you had spent with your own friends. It was glorious. He even gave you your own special nickname. He liked to call you Skipper, the name reflecting the fact that you often skipped over words when you spoke passionately about something.

But that nickname dropped off when things started to change between the two of you. Instead of Skipper, he liked to call you "Mine". Your relationship grew stronger, and it hadn't taken long before you and him started to go steady. Being his Girlfriend was one thing, but when he proposed two years later? That was definitely different. The Wedding was as extravagant as Elvis could possibly make it, even if you attempted to get him to cut back the cost which obviously didn't work. He insisted that your Wedding be "the most beautiful event that matches his Bride". You couldn't deny how hard you blushed at that. On your Wedding night, he made sure that you knew just how much he loved you, taking it slow and kissing you through the whole process. It was one of the best nights of your life.

Being his Wife, Elvis most definitely liked to show you off. "Isn't she the most prettiest Gal you've ever seen?" He'd ask, cradling you close to his side. "That's why she's mine." He would add soon after feeling that pang of jealousy deep within his chest. You were his. Not anyone else's. His. Of course, he wasn't overbearingly jealous. The most he'd do is not talk to you for a few minutes before asking you for cuddles and kisses with a pout of his face. Whenever he had the alone time with you, Elvis always made sure to snuggle up with you. He was definitely a cuddle-bug. "Baby, let me lay my head on your chest please." Would be one of his requests, the others being similar in nature. Elvis liked to talk to you about growing a Family together, to have lots of children and expand the Presley Family with little bundles of joy. If you weren't feeling up to making Love with him, he never complained about it and would simply ask if there was anything he could do to help you feel better or more comfortable. He worried constantly for your well-being. It was genuinely very sweet how much of a Gentleman he was. "Mama and Daddy taught me to take care of my Lady. I love you, Y/n."

He reminded you every single day how much love he harboured for you, and how lucky he was to have you in his life. Elvis only had eyes for you, and he made sure that you knew that. He adored you.

[whoopsyeahokay]

October Sun

summary: Wally had had no idea what he'd been looking at. Had barely had a reaction to it apart from subtle feelings of anxiety. In fact, it hadn't inspired anything more than a shrug and the thought of, "Neat. It's a tree."

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.

bon reading, frens

___________________________💀

OCTOBER SUN pt.16

It'd been harrowing, playing dumb and doing his best not to think about everything you and he had talked about earlier, but Wally made it out the other side only mildly scathed.

Group adjourned with Mr. Martin's instruction to pick anything but Rudy for tomorrow's Movie Night. Funny that Charley had never mentioned his distaste for the sports movies Wally usually selected before now, but fine, it was fine, Wally didn't feel stung at. all.

Maddie split almost immediately; in pursuit of another lead or to stalk Mr. Anderson or Simon, or Simon stalking Mr. Anderson, Wally wasn't sure, but once he heard the door click behind her, he sagged in relief.

Too soon, he groaned internally. When he looked up he saw Rhonda bolt from her seat and cut through the center of the circle like a shark through water, Charley on her heels.

"What was that?" She challenged, sizing the length of Wally up with a wave of her bare lollipop stem.

"What was what?"

Charley squinted at him, quickly scanned about before he leaned in and furtively said, "Oh, I don't know. How about that monstrosity of a performance you just forced us to participate in?"

Wally gulped, "I—"

"Spare us the crap, puppycat," Rhonda snipped, "We've seen each other's transcripts."

"I saw him misspell fundraiser," Charley added in a mockery of an anecdote Wally had shared during the session. And then, accusingly, "I know you know what a pun looks like."

Wally found himself on the back foot, mind going blank as he groped for an explanation that hedged the truth enough to get him out of Charley and Rhonda's crosshairs, but that didn't expose that he'd already known about the phone call and Mr. Anderson and the hush money.

"I was just...Uh..."

Unfortunately, Charley and Rhonda were too damn smart and your skill of inventing plausible excuses on the spot hadn't yet rubbed off on him. Inwardly, he reinforced his defenses and prepared for the Spanish Inquisition (nobody expects it).

"Walter," Rhonda said, blade-sharp, and Wally winced at her use of his Government name, "I know you think it's sweet to play clueless meathead in front of your crush—"

Oh. Okay. Sure. "That's—"

"—but, trust me, it doesn't work. Don't dumb yourself down just to get her to like you." Rhonda finished with a long-suffering roll of her eyes. An action that translated to mother-hen affection in a normal person.

"Besides," Charley said, a slack hint of sass to his syllables, "I think she just wants to figure things out. Not play tonsil hockey with a ghost who probably shared biology with the teacher that murdered her."

Wally tried to make his face react appropriately, had no idea if he pulled it off, but Charley and Rhonda didn't comment so he assumed it couldn't have been too bad.

"I don't think Mr. A is that old," Wally mumbled, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "But...thanks, guys."

Charley's expression mollified, "Anytime, big guy."

Wally had to acknowledge that it was nice that his friends cared about him. That they saw him as more than the overexcited golden retriever they often criticized him of being and wanted to make sure he wasn't trying to people-please his way into someone's heart. Though it still didn't dull the ache in his belly from discovering no one actually enjoyed his Top 5 and had only been humoring him for probably a decade or two.

He was fine.

In feigned bitterness, "Well, I've done my good deed for the day," Rhonda announced, pushing past Wally to head for the door, "Let's go."

Wally turned as if to follow her only to catch Ajay's eye before he could commit to the action. He remembered then what Ajay had told him in the faculty lounge about showing Wally something he 'needed to see'. Something Ajay inferred had to do with why he and the others were trapped on school property.

"I'll catch up in a bit," He called after Charley and Rhonda, backstepping toward Ajay to make his intentions obvious.

Charley shot Wally a lazy salute, "We'll be in the library for a while," and then turned on his heel to trail after Rhonda.

After decades of being in each other's pockets, it wasn't uncommon for members of their haunt to seek time one-on-one with each other. Everyone respected the unspoken exclusivity without comment and was especially understanding toward Wally, who had been the only teenage guy amongst them until 1992.

Bernie and Katelynn greeted Wally as he approached Ajay, though soon took their leave, Katelynn with a small and bashful, "See ya, Wally."

"Bye Katy-Cat." He said through a charming smile, ruffling her hair when she came into reach.

Katelynn shoved his arm away playfully, blowing Wally a raspberry before she continued over to the empty circle, immediately setting to work helping Mr. Martin and Bernie stack the chairs.

Wally turned back to Ajay, "Alright, my guy, where to?"

They exited through the side door, sunlight temporarily blinding Wally after having spent an hour sitting in the poorly lit gym. Not giving Wally's eyes a chance to adjust, Ajay took him by the elbow and physically maneuvered him in the right direction.

"It won't seem like much," Ajay warned, "so you need to trust me." He released Wally's elbow when Wally began to move under his own power, and hurried his stride.

"I do trust you," Wally replied, voice bouncing as he picked up his pace to match Ajay's. "Whatever you're gonna show me, it's gotta be important."

Ajay's ears reddened. "Thank you."

They were headed toward the treeline along the backside of the school, the field spread out to Wally's right. Down the steps, along the path, picnic tables and chainlink fence. Cheerleaders practiced their pyramid and the junior gym class played kickball.

Anxiety began to creep over Wally as they neared the boundary line, a slow and subtle discharge of fear frequency transmitting across his brain in a cold flush.

"Heeey, are you sure this is the right way?" Wally had to ask, his skin starting to feel clammy and too tight on the bones of his fingers. He began to slow his steps, afraid of being circus-canoned back to the 5-yard line, but Ajay plowed ahead without concern. "Dude?"

Wally almost rammed into him for how abruptly Ajay stopped, the toes of Ajay's shoes so close to the invisible line it gave Wally heart palpitations.

"There." Ajay said, pointing at a tree that stood approximately two meters beyond the school grounds.

The tree wasn't anything special. Tall, leafy, burled in various places up its trunk, and roots weaved and whorled around its base, some thick enough to sit on comfortably. Carved initials and numbers and heart shapes by students who'd wanted to immortalize their memory in its bark. It was the kind of thing one would expect from a tree in a private area near a building full of teenagers, really.

"What am I looking at?" Wally asked.

"I don't know what it means, so don't ask me," Ajay stated, clearly preempting that Wally would have questions after whatever Ajay was preparing to demonstrate. Ajay crouched to gather a stone from the ground, "Watch this."

He tossed the stone. It smacked the tree, dislodging a piece of loose bark from the center of a crooked heart—bullseye—and fell without fanfare into a nest of roots, a thin poof of dirt raised on impact.

Wally waited for something to happen. And waited. A n d waited.

"I don't get it." He said after a few uneventful beats. "Was something supposed to happen?"

"It did happen." Ajay insisted, bending to pick up another stone that he handed to Wally and motioned for him to throw it at the tree.

It hit, denting the bark, but again, that was the end of it. Wally peered up at the leaves—unruffled—then down at the roots—inert—and finally back at Ajay who pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Watch this." He commanded, scooping up another stone as he marched a few feet away. "Are you paying attention?" He asked, not unkindly; an earnest bid for Wally's focus.

Wally gave him a tight smile, "Yup," and a thumbs up, taking a few steps closer to prove the point.

Ajay flung the stone. Except, this time, it ricocheted back as soon as it pierced the barrier. Disappeared for a blink and then spat back out, flying in the reverse direction. Ajay threw his arms up and protected his face a split-second before the stone struck him, bouncing off his forearm to land with a thud at his feet.

Wally's jaw dropped, "What the shit?"

"Do you get it now?" Ajay questioned, dusting off his hands as he strolled back to Wally.

With a frown, "Sort of?" Wally reached for the barrier, not quite touching for fear of what could happen and where he'd end up, but just enough to feel its presence warm the palm of his hand. "I guess it would be too easy if we could go through, huh?"

"I attempted it a couple of times," Ajay shook his head, "Either way, the barrier is definitely weakest here. And," He paused, building suspense, "At four other points around the school."

Eyes fixed on the tree, Wally hypothesized, "If we figure out how to weaken it more at any of these points, we might be able to get out of here..."

"We just might," Ajay concurred, "I tried finding information in the library and the computer lab, but—" It was a Christian school board, he didn't have to say, and occult topics were heavily filtered.

There weren't likely to be any useful books available and the online network was limited, browsers blocking sites the school didn't want its students to visit. Wally's knowledge of the latter was an embarrassing smear on his reputation that he'd had to beg Charley to keep secret.

He shoved the memory back in its box and once more buried it in the darkest recesses of his mind.

Never again...

"You think my girl would know how to handle this?" Wally asked despite having already determined he was going to tell you about the barrier's weak points. He just wanted to make sure Ajay was aware and on board.

Ajay shrugged, "She certainly has access to more resources than we do. Couldn't hurt to mention it."

It was settled. Squaring his shoulders and straightening his spine, Wally broke his scrutiny of the tree and turned to Ajay.

"Alright, then, show me what we're working with."

💀___________________________

PART FIFTEEN - PART SEVENTEEN

also available on AO3!

MASTERLIST

[adventuringblind]

Band-Aids are for Speed

Lando Norris x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Street Racer AU

Summary: The five times she patched Lando up, and the one time he patched up her.

Warnings: Injury descriptions, broken bones, cuts, bruises, blood, illigal street racing, car accidents

Notes: Author is not a doctor but has watched medical dramas... don't judge my knowledge!

Side Note: I hope le requester enjoys this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

The first time she met Lando, he was siting in the emergency room waiting to be stitched up. She quietly hums to herself while setting up as the other nurse changes places with her.

The deep gash on his arm makes her wonder what he did to get it, but she also knows better then to ask. He doesn't look like he's in the mood to talk anyway.

It takes approximately three minutes for her to retract that statement. "So, you come here often?"

The question takes her so of guard that she doesn't know what to do with it aside from take the next few seconds to process. Is it not obvious that she works here?

"Do you mean the hospital? Or in this room specifically?" She laughs lightly at the ridiculousness of her patient and blames the minor blood loss.

"Nah, I mean in my presence." He smirks.

She tries to focus on her work. "Can't say I have."

"Would you like to be in it more?"

He gives her his number before he leaves. He dots the 'i' in his name with a heart.

She texts him the second she gets him to ask if he's bless her with his presence again.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

In the few months they've been seeing each other she's learned that Lando is obsessed with cars. It's cute when he jumps into excited rants about his favorite subject.

With the amount they've been talking, it's not shocking that Lando texts her in the evening. She assumes it'll be another silly joke. Instead she's met with frenzied sentences and misspelled words about need medical attention.

She doesn't hesitate to drive to his place. In hindsight, she really should've asked him why he didn't go to A&E when he's bleeding all over the bathroom floor.

"Please tell me you didn't get jumped." She kneels down and sets about getting him a position where she can see what she's doing.

He groans in pain as she moves him. "Nope! It was spectacular though."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I crashed the car but still won." He lets out a triumphant hoot.

This man can never give her all the details at one. "You got in a car accident?! How is that winning?!"

"Because I won the money... duh." He's definitely delirious now. Probably has a concussion. "Oh, I didn't tell you? I street race."

There's that strange part of her that is intrigued and curious to know more, specifically because that adds to his sex appeal (like he wasn't hot enough already). The logical side of her brain that is currently staring at Lando bleeding says otherwise. "Uh, no... you didn't."

"Well isn't that unfortunate! You coulda seen me crash today if you had."

Lando is half asleep by the time she is done. She's barely able to wrangle him into bed with how uncoordinated he is. It's useless keeping him awake.

She turns the lights off and is about to leave - "Will you stay?"

"I can, yeah, do you want me on the couch or is there another bedroom?"

"In bed with me. You can stay here - with me."

Against her better judgment, she does.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

She doesn't usually work the weekend shift but one of the nurses is on vacation and she could us the extra hours. She leaves her phone on vibrate in her pocket in case of a 'family emergency.'

Said emergency being Lando who is more accident prone on the weekends. Somehow, less accident prone in the car and more when he's doing normal people tasks.

Sometimes she wonders if her gets hurt on purpose just so he has an excuse to see her. She keeps telling him he doesn't need one - just in case - but he still calls and she goes. It's not like she has much else to do with her time aside.

She really shouldn't be shocked when he ends up in emergency clutching his arm. He gives her a bashful smile and tries to awkwardly wave. "Hi."

"And what, my love, are you in for this time?"

"I slipped on the stairs..."

Another male, a tall brunette who she knows as George, hits him playfully on the head. "No he did not! This idiot decided it would be a brilliant idea to tie a skateboard to the back of Alex's car and sit on it while Alex drove."

She throws a stern look at Lando and his smile goes from bashful to downright embarrassed. "You're lucky it's just you're arm."

By the time he's set free into the world to make more impulsive decisions, she makes the executive decision to make him wait until she's done working. He puts a pout on his lips, but it goes away when she sends him to the cafeteria.

They drive home listening to the indie station. The one he's made her fall in love with.

"Thank you, again."

"You've got to stop thanking me, Lan. It is literally my job." She laughs a little at herself for that one.

"Yeah, but, that's not all. You're the only person who doesn't freak out on me for doing stupid shit. Like I know I shouldn't do it but it gives me that adrenaline that racing does." The sincerity in his voice nearly takes her off guard.

"I can't tell what to do, but I'll always be there when you need a patch job."

"And I'll be there when you need a ride." He winks.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

The first time she's at one of Lando's races, she can feel the thrumming in her heart. The excitement of the start and the fear that he could possibly die doing this.

He jogs over to her right before the start. His hands clumsily find her waist and he smash his lips on hers. "For good luck." He whispers as he pulls away.

She doesn't let go, however. She pulls a band aide out of her pocket and sticks it to his hand. It's a crayon, but she highly doubts he'll care to much.

"What's this for?"

"I had a little girl today who told me that Band-Aids give you speed. I thought you might try it."

"When I win, it'll be all because of you."

Lando does win. She buys more Band-Aids with some of the prize money.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

She's there when the crash happens. The boys had deemed her the official medical personnel. Which she's glad for, since they are the ones getting her to the crash site. In record time - it has to be - she's sure she's never gone this fast before.

She dives out of the back of the truck to the driver side door. Lando sits there, a few visible cuts, but he's smiling at her. She has half a mind to give the boy an earful, but refrains since he did just crash.

It takes her, Alex, and George to get him out of the car and into the truck. She stitches him up before they go home. In her car, mind you, since the one Lando drove is out of order.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be - just - please remember that I can't fix every kind of injury."

They curl up in bed together. The long night having drained them both of their energy.

"Maybe, but at least my odds of surviving until my thirties have gone up with you around."

"At this rate, you're more likely to die doing dishes then driving."

"That was one time!"

♡♡♡♡♡♡

It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was supposed to go home, not end up back at her job.

Granted, she's here for a different reason now. One that's not her fault and she's pissed about it. She's going to explode with emotions. Her body hurts so much.

Fucking drunk drivers. Who gave them the right to say it's her fault? Telling her she's lucky it wasn't worse.

A soft knock at the door draws her attention. Lando stands there look mildly disheveled. Still, he has his hands on his hips and rolls his eyes. "Whatever am I going to do with you, my love? Always getting into accidents!"

He comes to lay beside her on the bed and she wiggles to make accommodate him. He pulls out a box of bandages from his pocket and proceeds to put them everywhere she has a new mark.

The stress of it all finally breaks through. She sobs into his shoulder and clings to his sweatshirt. "Thank you."

"Hey, none of that. I owe you for all the Band-Aids you've used on me and all those times you've patched me up."

"Does this mean I can drive your car now? Since I have extra speed?"

Lando raises his eyebrows. "Maybe not drive, but I can think of other things we can do with speed." He wiggles said eyebrows suggestively.

"How about, a speedy recovery? You have plenty of those."

"Alright fine, a speedy recovery - and I'll be here for all of it with a plethora of crayon Band-Aids because I bought them all just for you."

[sreabhadh]

Oki so Swerve x Blurr post here. (Blurve, if you will, because it's literally the worst sounding ship name I've heard and so I can't get it out of my head lol)

But so Blurr is established multiple times to have difficulty remembering names and whether he tries to remember them or not, doesn't seem to care much.

My thought is that once upon a time he tried to remember names and he still tries to passively but that due to head trauma etc making it basically impossible he has given up on it

But what about the names he really doesn't want to forget? The people he really cares about? Cause speaking as someone who can have an awful short term memory/memory in general (forgot my own age before, there's a whole story and everything lol) just because you care doesn't mean you're going to remember. Just because it's important and matters a lot to you doesn't mean you won't forget. So some fun angst potential there with that :3 Struggling, grasping, having the name on the tip of his tongue, he KNOWS he knows it, he's heard it before, he TRIED to remember he tried so hard, repeated it so many times (maybe because he noticed how hard core of a fan Swerve was and didn't want to let him down) he's SUPPOSED to be able to remember this, it shouldn't be so hard- and then it's just gone and his mind goes blank and he can't remember it for the life of him. (Potentially a reason he maybe avoids or distances himself from Swerve and others- so he can maintain the hero image and persona that inspires them without them getting close enough to see the cracks or feel personally spurned by him because he can't remember their names etc)

But Blurr. Wants to remember Swerve's name. He owes it to him. (Also I'm on the ship so I also vote he wants to remember his name because he likes him. And like, how do you ask someone out of you can't even remember their name?) Swerve is a long time hard core fan with merch from before Blurr was a pilot, even before he was a famous racer. Swerve has stuff from the early days. Blurr doesn't want to ruin that hero imagery, the hope it gives Swerve, the light it puts in his eyes, the fire/gusto/pep in his soul etc. (This can also be a justification because Blurr just likes Swerve but has never been in a long-term/serious/successful relationship before and needs justification to be thinking about the cute guy who's name he's trying to remember).

Blurr, writing Swerve's name down. Misspelled in some places, spelled correctly in others, sometimes it's the wrong name, something similar. And he can't remember which it is. And sometimes he loses the slips of paper etc he writes them on. He can't keep track of it, can't remember. Like a really important password you made, wrote down somewhere, forgot, and just can't crack.

Blurr. Losing Swerve. Blaming himself for not being fast enough, guilt compounded by the fact he can't remember his name. Blurr, finding Swerve's old stuff, torn posters, old merch shoved angrily in a tiny box. Blurr feeling like he deserves that and worse because he failed him and he wasn't the hero he was supposed to be, he was just a face and that's all he has and even that's disfigured now, just like the rest of him. Blurr visiting Swerve's grave to apologize. Visiting his grave to help him remember his name. Or wanting to, but being unable to due to being stuck in a hospital. Blurr falling asleep trying to remember/memorize his name, like trying to count sheep.

Swerve though. Swerve, after getting disillusioned from the shiny idol image he has of Blurr, even after seeing the actual hero side of Blurr and learning what he's actually like, not expecting Blurr to remember his name. Originally thinking that because "he's a selfish prick" and then that changing over time to more of "it's not his fault his mind doesn't do that" and "there's no reason for him to remember me anyway" (and I secretly hope he doesn't remember me even though I really really want him to because I don't want him to remember the awkward idiot that obsessed over him then died). Swerve coming to care for Blurr all over again but because he's seeing the real Blurr for the first time. Swerve not expecting Blurr to remember his name, Swerve deciding not to care whether or not Blurr remembers. Blurr tried saving him, and he remembers that much, that much is already more than Swerve had expected.

Swerve finding some of the scribbled up pieces of paper and wondering what those are about

Blurr, maybe once realizing he's real, alive and not a ghost, having a moment of lucidity. Calls him by name. Swerve is shooketh. Blurr maybe panics or tries to back track, thinking he said the wrong name. "No- you...got it right the first time." "I did?" "Yeah." "..." "What did I say the first time?" "Swerve." "Swerve." "Yeah." Blurr *maybe almost cries a lil bit, especially since this revelation is paired with the revelation he's not dead.*

Swerve having fanfics running in his mind and making him blush, you know, the kind of "but you can call me whatever you want" kind of flirting and then awkwardly stumbling over his words while Blurr's just glad he's alive (and doesn't hate him for some reason?) (and Blurr is also busy being flustered because not only is Swerve not dead but he's the cute one and the cute one is talking to him and doesn't seem to mind or be offended that Blurr was having trouble remembering his name (hopefully not because of low self esteem issues) AND THE CUTE ONE IS TALKING TO HIM AND HELPING HIM WALK AND- (and maybe for once he doesn't mind sometimes not being able to walk on his own 👀)

Blurr making a joke about how he'd forget his own name if he didn't write it down (via autograph) or hear he screamed (by fans) so many times

Swerve realizing the scribbled up pieces of paper were Blurr trying to remember his name

Swerve saying things and treating Blurr well in ways that make Blurr feel like a person. Loved and admired, but as a person and not a face or an image someone else holds and controls, but as an actual person with their own thoughts, struggles and emotions. Swerve still admiring him even though Blurr feels like a failure. Swerve caring for him even though he's seen him without the makeup and his public persona, seen him at his "ugliest." Swerve respecting and understanding the importance of the public persona and how much work, effort, sacrifice it is and how valuable it is, but also preferring to be with Blurr when he's "at his ugliest" and just himself. Swerve's perceptions of Blurr changing Blurr's perceptions of himself and starting to himself as more than a face, and having worth beyond what he can do for others

The confidence Swerve has in Blurr giving Blurr the confidence in himself to go in public with out the special makeup. Blurr having the confidence to speak honestly to the public (hopefully potentially with evidence that the explosions, accidents, and his injuries are because of Shockwave +/ Pharma)

Swerve saving Blurr and Blurr asking Swerve for his autograph. "Why?" "Because that's what people do when they meet their heroes, right?" (Having it written down in Swerve's handwriting will help Blurr remember it and know it's spelled correctly) *Blurr blushing* *Swerve.exe has broken* *error messages on his face plate* Swindle: *admonishing* "Blurr don't break your boyfriend you haven't even gone on a date with him yet."

*Blurr.exe and Swerve.exe both being very broken and blushing*

Swindle: "Oh for the love of- *waves wad of cash/credit card in front of them* - take this and go on a f@cking date already you too and get out of my hair you're gonna make me sick, get out, scram!"

Blurr and Swerve being awkward, lovesick, and adorable.

Swerve and Blurr date nights where nothing bad happens and I can (at least temporarily) ignore Keferon's comments of "you'll have to dig him out of the hole first" and "it sucks to be a Blurr fan because he always dies" (paraphrased)

Keferon please don't do it please don't you dare.

I will take all the pain and trauma, so long as they can be happy together in the end please I'm begging you.

(Everyone making things and contributing to the mech AU(s) are making and doing phenomenal things and I love all of them, thank you so much Keferon and everyone else involved)

[mx-pastelwriting]

Kinktober Day 20: Over Stimulation

Tommy Shelby x GN! Reader

Summary: Taking full advantage of Tommy finally letting you have control in the bedroom.

Warnings: Smut, Begging, Tommy Under your control, Handjob, Cumming two times

Kinktober Masterlist

Minors do not interact!

Noises from Tommy's lubed cock filled the room as you massaged the head in a circular motion, then stroking down, then back up. Tommy's moans and pleas to let him cum then came to cursing at the air as you left his cock twitching without your company.

Finally deciding as he climaxed was coming down, stroking his cock, letting him go over, cumming onto your hand while his body twitched, moaning your name, keeping the same pace, making sure to get every twitch and drop of cum from him.

Cries for you did not stop you from pushing him further, wanting to get every bit of enjoyment from being in control of Tommy for the first and only time.

His now over-lubed cock didn't stop your hand from having a full playing field, making sure you kept full control over his cock as it hardened in your hand, with Tommy twitching only a little with his pleas mixing with moans as he was getting close again.

Not needing much time for him to cum again as your hand moved quickly only letting him settle when he twitched, making a thrusting motion, taking over for you though not meaning to, enjoying the show of Tommy cumming all over again hearing him beg and moan.

Hello, I hope you enjoyed if there is any grammar mistakes or misspellings sorry about that feel free to let me know in the comments, have a great day/afternoon/night!

♥ mx-pastelwriting does not consent to their fanfiction being copied, copied & credited, translated, used in videos and/or audios, screenshotted, used in AI.

Fanfiction is protected under copyright law when plagiarism is involved. If you plagiarize my work, either a piece or whole in any language, I will take legal action. Inspiration or the same idea does NOT apply to this, only word-for-word plagiarism in any language.

Taglist: @k3nmakyan @delusional-13s-blog @memphiscity69 @zoexme @the1redrose @cvnt4lyfe

[aphroditeinthesea]

Heyyyy, can I request a Cinnor Stoll x fme!reader?

Can can you by and chance make her a mortal where he meets her by accident whike runs from her abusive family..?

All good if you can't! And fic of Connor is good!!

“ you don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me? ”

connor stoll x fem!reader 🐍

a/n this is kinda a concerning request but hope ur okay xx

⚠️ mentions of abuse and swearing

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

Seven hours. That’s how long she had been away from home and already her heart was racing. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe she should just turn around and pretend like she got lost or something.

She currently sat alone in a crowded cafe she had come across in a town a few hours away from her hometown. Nobody she knew would be here. Her heart raced though when she realized how vulnerable she was currently.

All alone in a strange place. She had some money she had saved and some she stole from her parents’ stash in the attic. It was enough to last her for who knows how long. But not enough if she wanted this to work.

“Hey, are you y/n?”

She looked up to see a boy about her age standing in front of her. She raised an eyebrow, “maybe, why?”

“Sorry, I think I got your drink by accident.”

“Oh,” she looked at his hands that were holding an iced coffee with her name misspelled in sharpie, “yeah, that’s mine.”

He leaned over the table to hand it to her, “I didn't drink it or anything, I jus thought it was a different drink.” Of course he wasn't going to say that he went in there with the thought of stealing a random drink that was yet to be claimed.

She took a sip and her face scrunched, “oh this sucks ass.”

He laughed, “what?”

“This coffee, it tastes like they got it out the sewers.”

“Glad I didn't try to steal it then.”

“Huh?”

“What?”

She shook her head, “I should be leaving anyways.” Not that she had anywhere ot go.

“Wait!” He paused, “wait, I mean, there's a great coffee shop down the street. Trust me its way better than here.”

She looked at him for a second. She thought about her choices here. Leave and have no where to go or hang out more with this cute guy who for some reason wants her to have a good coffee. “Lead the way.”

He grinned as he led her out of the door, holding it open for her. As they began walking down the sidewalk, he looked over at her, “are you new around here?”

“You could say that,” she mentioned.

“What does that mean?” He replied, confused.

She sighed, “I’m new here.”

He nodded, “cool, where are you from?”

“A few hours away, I just,” she looked over at him, “I wanted out of my hometown.”

“Oh,” he stayed silent for a second before speaking again after realizing, “did you run away?”

She laughed softly before nodding, “ding ding ding!”

“Woah,” he responded, trying to comprehend, “you're not like a serial killer or something, right?”

“Just one,” she joked.

“Perfect, because if it was more then that might be an issue.”

She smiled and looked down at her feet on the ground before hearing his voice again, “here it is.”

She looked up at the coffee shop. It had a large pink sign reading “Dolly’s Donuts.” It was a quaint little place that was painted while with a few teal accents on the windows. After a few moments, she spoke up, “why are we just standing here?”

He didn't look at her as he answered, “I’m banned from here.”

She laughed, “you’re what?”

“I might’ve somehow schemed them out of a few dozen donuts.” He added, “I’m banned from a few places around here. Not all for stealing, some because they cant handle a joke or two.”

“Wow, a criminal.” As she began walking towards thw entrance, he stopped her again.

“Wait a second, please?”

She grinned, “alright.”

He nodded, and snuck over to a next door store with an outdoor display of baseball caps and sunglasses. He snuck on a blue cap with matching blue glasses before making his way over to her.

“Okay, let's go.”

“They wont recognize you like that?” She retorted sarcastically.

“Connor Stoll is gone, hello Stonnor Coll.”

“Your name's Connor?”

“Yeah, sorry, forgot to mention that.”

“Well, come on, Stonnor,” she flicked her hand, motioning for him to come. He followed behind her as they made their way into the shop.

“Welcome to Dolly’s, what can I get for you?”

Y/N looked over at Connor, “what do you recommend, Ston?”

“Two vanilla lattes, please,” he replied in a deepened voice. “And, uh, some extra whipped cream for the little lady here.”

The barista nodded before walking away. Y/N swatted his arm, “little lady?”

He grimaced, “yeah, I have no idea where that came from.” He looked over the display box where they had laid a few donuts, while the barista wasn't looking, he grabbed two of the donuts, hiding them in napkins that were out nearby, “here put these in your bag.”

“Seriously?”

“They're worth it, trust me.”

She rolled her eyes and took the donuts, slipping them into her tote. When the barista came back over, Connor causally grabbed the drinks, handing one to y/n and holding the otreh in his hand.

“Anything else for today?”

“Actually, just a,” before he finished, he grabbed y/n’s arm and dragged her out of the restaurant at full speed.

“Connor!” she called as she nearly spilt her drink. He smirked and he led them to a gazebo out of sight of the shop.

As they came to a stop, neither of them could breathe from both laughing adn the bolting.

“That was so fucking fun,” she breathed out, clutching to hold her stomach. He watched her in amusement as she leaned back up to look at him. She took a sip of the latte before her eyes widened, “wow, that totally was worth the robbery.”

“Right?” He chuckled.

She turned to grab the donuts out of her bag until he spoke again, “what’s that?”

“What?”

“On your,” he leaned closer and moved some of her hair, “your eye?”

“Oh,” oh. She breathed deeply, “that's just uhm, it’s from, well.”

“Is that why you were running away?”

She stayed silent and just looked at the wooden floor of the gazebo.

“Shit,” he sighed, backing up, “are you okay?”

Her eyes met his again, “right now, yeah.”

“Have you told anyone?”

“No, I just,” she hesitated, “I just wanted out.”

“Here,” he grabbed her hand to get her to sit down with him on the ground. She obliged, sitting criss-cross applesauce across from him, their knees touching. He took a breath, “let’s have some donuts, yeah?”

And, yeah, for right now, she was okay.

[gaykarstaagforever]

I just watched TOS "Mudd's Women".

This is Season 1 so there are some quirks, as compared to the later seasons. Like Uhura is wearing the gold uniform.

No Chekov yet. Just some guy who looks like a partially-deflated Conan O'Brien.

Spock keeps doing this little grin the whole time, like he is barely concealing his amusement at how goofy and horny everyone else is. I guess they eventually wear him down into Stoic Spock.

Mudd calls Spock a "half-Vulcanian." Which is more technically correct as the name for someone from Vulcan, like a Vulcan would be from the planet Vulk. But I guess writers kept misspelling it or something, so

I like Harry Mudd's accent. Like an Irish pirate cowboy, who is also obviously faking it. Fits the character.

The ship runs on "lithium crystals" instead of "dilithium," I guess because no one thought yet about lithium being a real thing that has real properties they'd need to take into account at some point. A shame. I like the idea that the Enterprise runs on banks of EV batteries. Explains all the explosions.

Kirk pushes the Enterprise too hard and we hear all the lithium crystals pop in sequence. They sound like someone breaking Kit Kats off screen. Scotty AND Sulu warn Kirk not to let that happen, and he absolutely does it anyway, then acts like it's everyone else's fault the ship is dead in the water and running out of air. Which, yeah, that's our Kirk.

Also when they go to get new crystals from a mining planet, Kirk beams the miners up to discuss payment. I guess they didn't have the whole "Communist space future" thing worked out yet.

Both Scotty and Kirk call Mudd a "jackass." I didn't know you could say ass on 60s TV. I suppose it was as part of a metaphor that used it to mean donkey. But they still said "ass." Twice.

This is only one of two times TOS shows them using the computer during a hearing as a lie detector. This would have been useful technology like...400 more times, over the next all of the shows and movies, forever. But "she" also points out, unprompted, how everyone is horny during the hearing. And I can't imagine Picard finding that as funny as Kirk does.

McCoy's horny face. (Also I think his patch is on crooked.)

...Has he always had a pinkie ring??

Round playing cards! Round playing cards, in SPACE!

Mudd is a wanted criminal with diagnosed mental problems who is flying a spaceship he probably murdered a guy for, so he can sell women he supplies drugs to to space miners. That's what this episode is about.

When they all go down to the lithium mining planet, Kirk teaches the incel miners that having *real* women as co-equal human companions is better than having twee anime babes who only like them because the women are drugged. This is unrealistic.

This might be the first time it is relevant to a Star Trek plot that Kirk can't fall in love because he wants to fuck the ship. The same ship that earlier proves it can tell when he's horny. ...This is why normal people bully us for watching this show.