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pesterloglog · 7 months

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Rosebot, Terezi Pyrope

Page 144

ROSE: There you are. I haven’t seen much of you.

TEREZI: IV3 B33N R1GHT H3R3 FOR HOURS

TEREZI: BUT YOUR 3Y3S H4VE B33N CLOS3D TH3 WHOL3 T1M3 >:[

ROSE: Your attachment to my comatose body is unexpectedly charming, as well as slightly sinister.

ROSE: She isn’t going to do anything.

ROSE: She isn’t coming back from where she’s gone.

TEREZI: YOU N3V3R KNOW

ROSE: Yes, I suppose that’s true.

ROSE: Anything can happen, you can’t see the future, etc. etc.

ROSE: Except I can. I can see the trajectory the story needs to take, and thus I know the trajectory it will take.

ROSE: And resurrecting my meat puppet would not only be difficult to the point of being worthless, it would also be extremely lame.

ROSE: Not that it would be out of character for this story. We live and breathe on the stupefyingly mind-numbing, and the mind-numbingly stupid.

ROSE: But then we begin to veer toward dissolution, yet again.

TEREZI: 1F WH4T YOU'R3 S4Y1NG 1S TRU3

TEREZI: 1F 4 STORY H4S TO B3 COMP3LL1NG TO B3 C4NON

TEREZI: DO YOU R34LLY TH1NK D1RK 1S TH3 TYP3 TO T3LL 4 COMP3LL1NG STORY

TEREZI: H1S T4ST3 1N 4N1M3 4LON3 1S CONC3RN1NG

TEREZI: 1 D1D 3NJOY TH3 ON3 4BOUT TH3 HORS3S THOUGH

ROSE: I don't think that counts as "anime."

ROSE: But that's why we're here, isn't it?

ROSE: To steer this story the right way.

TEREZI: 1 GU3SS

ROSE: But you're not enthusiastic.

TEREZI: S1GH

TEREZI: PL4Y1NG W1TH 4 WHOL3 WORLD L1K3 1T'S SOM3 K1ND OF SQU34KY LUSUS TOY DO3S SOUND L1K3 1T H4S 1TS MOM3NTS

TEREZI: 1 M34N

TEREZI: MY FR13NDS W4NT3D TO RUL3 YOUR L1TTL3 WORLD 4S P3TTY TYR4NTS 4FT3R W3 WON TH3 G4M3 OURS3LV3S

TEREZI: BUT DO YOU TH1NK TH4T WOULD'V3 B33N FOR TH3 B3ST FOR YOU 4ND 4LL TH3 OTH3R M4MM4L14N W31RDOS ON YOUR PL4N3T >:/

ROSE: It didn't happen because it didn't happen.

TEREZI: 1F 1 H4V3 TO H34R ON3 MOR3 T4UTOLOGY FROM 31TH3R OF YOU 1 4M GO1NG TO MOV3 TO TH3 WOODS 4ND PL4GU3 YOUR N3W SOC13TY 4S 4 H3RM1T BOG MONST3R FOR3V3R

ROSE: See, that's more the spirit.

ROSE: Become as myth, Terezi Pyrope, the troll under the bridge you were always meant to be.

ROSE: The village chalk supplies would be ravaged.

ROSE: Townsfolk will tell their children scary stories of the terrible dragon hiding in the woods.

ROSE: If they're not good, she might emerge from the swamp and moralize at them.

TEREZI: JUST B3C4US3 YOU'V3 3L3CT3D TO 4B4NDON TH3 CONC3PTS OF "GOOD" 4ND "B4D" 3NT1R3LY DO3SN'T M34N 1 DON'T ST1LL H4V3 MOR4L R3S3RV4T1ONS

TEREZI: BUT TH1S 1SN'T 4BOUT TH4T

TEREZI: 1'M T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH3 B4S1C 4B1L1TY OF 1NT3LL1G3NT B31NGS 1N 4LL R34L 4ND HYPOTH3T1C4L PL4N3S OF 3X1ST3NC3 TO G1V3 4 SH1T

TEREZI: 1 DON'T G1V3 4 SH1T

TEREZI: 4ND HON3STLY 1 H4V3 4 H4RD T1M3 UND3RST4ND1NG WHY YOU DO

TEREZI: WH3R3 D1D TH1S COM3 FROM

TEREZI: YOU D1DN'T DO MUCH "WORLDBU1LD1NG" WH3N YOU FUCK3D OFF FOR 3ONS 4ND L3T CH3SS P3OPL3 BU1LD YOUR PL4N3T

ROSE: That approach failed.

ROSE: Without an organized antagonistic force, the planet became fundamentally unsuited to relevance.

ROSE: Its dissolution was inevitable. And our fellow victors couldn't – or wouldn't – see.

ROSE: We only know of one way to perpetuate canon for sure. To play and defeat the game, and continue the life cycle of the genesis frog we cling to parasitically.

ROSE: This, obviously, has destructive consequences. Ones we spared the Earth by coming here and starting from a blank slate.

ROSE: Now it is protected, in the steady hands of a duly-elected ruler, sure to have a boring and uneventful perpetual term in office.

TEREZI: BL4H BL4H BL4H BL4H

TEREZI: SO YOU F33L B4D 4BOUT HOW MUCH YOU GUYS W3R3 B1G T33N F41LUR3S 4ND W4NT 4NOTH3R FL1P OF TH3 CO1N

ROSE: No, I don't feel "bad."

ROSE: I don't need to bargain with the past, or question it.

ROSE: Everything that happened brought us here.

ROSE: An imperfect mechanism, to be sure.

ROSE: Rusting in points, barely functional in others, occasionally relying on the labor of strange clowns.

ROSE: As the sheer number of doomed universes our actions in the game spun off should show, we barely understood the design at the time.

ROSE: Truly, we stumbled through the tape of the finish line ass-first, cheating all the way.

ROSE: But there was no table of judges waiting to adjudicate our performance by holding up little placards with numbers on them.

ROSE: We are the observers, and we are the judges.

ROSE: We won, and to the victor go the spoils.

ROSE: If you want a hand in making the rules of this new world, then don't storm off.

TEREZI: YOU'R3 TRY1NG TO L34D M3 TO 4CC3PT YOUR MOR4L FR4M3WORK

TEREZI: WH4T 1F NO ON3 SHOULD CONTROL 4 UN1V3RS3

TEREZI: 4LL W3 FOUGHT 4G41NST W4S MONST3RS WHO CONV3RT3D POW3R 1NTO CONTROL

TEREZI: 4ND NOT 3V3RYTH1NG W3 LOST F1GHT1NG TH3M W4S 4 M1ST4K3

TEREZI: TH3R3 W4S 4 LOT S4CR1F1C3D FOR TH3 1D34 OF "GOOD"

TEREZI: WH4T'S TH3 PO1NT 1N CONT1NU1NG TH1S STORY 1F TH4T W4S M34N1NGL3SS

TEREZI: 1F LORD 3NGL1SH W4S JUST HOLD1NG UP TH3 WORLD

TEREZI: 1F 1T T4K3S 4CT1NG L1K3 H1M TO K33P 1T 4L1V3

TEREZI: WOULDN'T 1T B3 B3TT3R TO JUST L3T 1T D13

ROSE: Not to be indelicate, Terezi, but I have wondered something.

TEREZI: Y34H 1T WOULD B3 COMPL3T3LY UNL1K3 YOU TO B3 1ND3L1C4T3

ROSE: I'm being serious.

ROSE: You said it yourself, that you don't give a shit.

ROSE: This melancholy, this meaninglessness you're feeling?

ROSE: I think there's another explanation for it. One having little to do with the structural soundness of our plan.

ROSE: I think there's a psychological explanation at work here.

TEREZI: OF COURS3 YOU DO

TEREZI: YOU TH1NK TH3R3'S 4 PSYCHOLOG1C4L 3XPL4N4T1ON FOR 3V3RYTH1NG

TEREZI: 4ND 1T 4LL H4S TO DO W1TH "MOTH3RS" 4ND "R3PR3SS1ON"

ROSE: Your mother was an egg. I recognize there are limitations at play here to the human experience.

ROSE: But I don't think it requires a great deal of insight – even though I do, in fact, have a great deal of insight – to recognize that you?

ROSE: You are fucking depressed.

TEREZI: OH TH4NK YOU DOCTOR SC13NC3

TEREZI: L3T M3 T4K3 OUT MY HUM4N CH3CKBOOK TO P4Y YOU FOR TH3S3 1NV4LU4BL3 HUM4N 1NS1GHTS

ROSE: Discovering that there is a problem is the only way to solve it.

ROSE: The constant insistence that everything is as it ought to be isn’t just counterproductive, it’s pathetic.

ROSE: From one seer to another, we both know how bad you’ve gotten in the past.

ROSE: Or, if not in the past, in some past.

ROSE: I have no desire to meet that Terezi, no matter how doubtlessly sticky and charming she might be.

TEREZI: NOT 3V3RY B4D F33L1NG 1S 4 SYNDROM3 4ND JUST B3C4US3 1 DO TH1NGS D1FF3R3NTLY TH4N YOU DO DO3SN'T M34N MY BR41N 1S BROK3N

ROSE: That’s not what depression is.

TEREZI: OH MY GOD 1 DON'T C4R3

TEREZI: STOP TRY1NG TO "G3T THROUGH TO M3" OR WH4T3V3R 3LS3 YOU TH1NK 1S H4PP3N1NG H3R3

TEREZI: W3 4R3N'T FR13NDS

TEREZI: GO 4H34D 4ND DO YOUR 4RTS 4ND CR4FTS PROJ3CT W1TH P3OPL3'S L1V3S

ROSE: Shockingly, Terezi, I am not asking you for your permission or your blessing.

ROSE: I need neither.

ROSE: I was offering a reprieve from the monotony of the last three years, and what promises to be a long stretch of time going forward.

ROSE: Your life is going to be short, compared to mine and Dirk’s, but that doesn’t mean it has to be boring.

TEREZI: TH3 TWO OF YOU R34LLY 4R3 M4D3 FOR 34CH OTH3R

ROSE: I am made from him.

ROSE: That’s how families work.

TEREZI: 1S TH4T WHY YOU L3FT K4N4Y4 B3H1ND

TEREZI: B3C4US3 YOU KNOW SO FUCK1NG MUCH 4BOUT "F4M1LY"

ROSE: I would be careful if I were you.

ROSE: The weight of what I know and you do not is enough to overwhelm a mortal frame.

TEREZI: UGH SHUT UP

TEREZI: STOP PULL1NG TH1S MYST1C4L BULLSH1T 3V3RY T1M3

TEREZI: DON’T YOU M1SS H3R?

ROSE: Don’t you?

TEREZI: YOUR CONST4NT D3FL3CT1ON 1S 4S PO1NTL3SS 4S 1T 1S 1N3FF3CT1V3

ROSE: ...

ROSE: My feelings are irrelevant.

ROSE: There is nothing to mourn if it all dissolves.

ROSE: Not even the capacity for grief.

ROSE: If the cycle of canon must continue, then it must. Some don’t understand that.

ROSE: You do.

TEREZI: 1 D1D

TEREZI: 1S TH1S WH4T "C4NON" M34NS THOUGH?

TEREZI: G4R1SH OR4NG3 4ND PURPL3 GODS 4CT1NG OUT TH3 S4M3 STORY 4G4A1N 4ND 4G41N

TEREZI: 4NOTH3R JOURN3Y ANOTH3R PL4N3T 4NOTH3R G4M3

TEREZI: 1 GR3W UP TH1NK1NG 1 H4D TO THROW 4W4Y 3V3RYON3 4ND GO JET OFF TO SP4CE

TEREZI: 1T W4SN'T GOOD OR 3V1L

TEREZI: 1T W4S 3ASY TO JUST1FY 4S JUST WH4T MUST H4PP3N

TEREZI: IT W4S 3SS3NT14L

ROSE: Ah, but was it relevant and true?

ROSE: This isn’t the same and you know it.

ROSE: We see things — or See things — the way they are.

ROSE: We are obliged to act. To save the concept of meaning itself by continuing to spin the narrative loom into new tapestries.

TEREZI: S1GH

TEREZI: 1 US3D TO 3NJOY T4LK1NG TO YOU YOU KNOW

TEREZI: WH3N 1 THOUGHT TH1S W4S WH4T YOU W4NT3D

TEREZI: TH4T K4N4Y4 JUST COULDN'T UND3RST4ND

TEREZI: TH4T W3 H4D TO DO TH1S

TEREZI: BUT NOW 1 C4N'T T3LL

TEREZI: D1D YOU W4NT 4LL TH1S?

TEREZI: OR D1D TH3 PR1NC3 >:?

ROSE: I have complete recall of every sensation my body experienced.

ROSE: I can simulate, and have simulated, cherished and tragic memories in their entirety.

ROSE: They flood my circuits with feeling. More real than flesh ever could be, a direct contact between mind and memory.

ROSE: Is this what you want to hear, Terezi?

ROSE: That I can replay the complete sensory experience of my first kiss a hundred times in a single clock cycle?

ROSE: Do you want me to rend my garments and wail at the tragedy of it all?

ROSE: Play victim, damsel in distress, leak lubricant from the joints of my eyes to simulate the tears I can no longer shed?

ROSE: I know what I have lost. I have taken a full account of it. I cannot and will not forget it.

ROSE: But to cling to it as it faded to nothing would be a meaningless capitulation to entropy.

ROSE: Someone must sit atop Olympus and propagate the fabric of reality upon which these memories sit.

ROSE: That is the task we have taken on. The game does not feel. The game does not mourn. The game must be played, and we must guide those who will play it better than we ourselves were guided.

ROSE: Just as I have remembered the good, I can recall the terror that consumed me and overwhelmed my body.

ROSE: The visions of dissolution. The narrative unspooling. A thousand voices shouting contradiction.

ROSE: What value is a marriage, temporary domestic bliss, if all is lost?

ROSE: You understand this bargain.

ROSE: At least, you should. It's one that was made to leave you alone.

ROSE: Is your resentment towards my choice about Kanaya, or about V–

TEREZI: 1 T4K3 1T B4CK

TEREZI: TURNS OUT 1 ST1LL 3NJOY T4LK1NG TO YOU >:]

ROSE: Back to our usual stimulating dialog, it seems.

TEREZI: (OH MY GOD)

TEREZI: (SHUT UP 4ND G1V3 US SOM3 PR1V4CY)

TEREZI: (N3RD)

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #rosebot #terezi pyrope #homestuck^2 act 1 #page 144

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-02-24

IT’S ONLY BEEN TEN FUCKING DAYS HOW OFTEN ARE WE GONNA GET THIS STUFF

IT’S NOT EVEN A BONUS IT’S SOME MAINLINE THING

Alright, clicking the log to find my place as usual (while squinting so I don’t see too much), I see... one new page... THAT’s ominous. Unless they’re doing the thing Andrew used to do and only showing the surface link so as not to spoil the update length/contents in the log, which would be nice given the new site format. (Also I’ll be covering the commentary for the previous chapter here that went up on Patreon.)

...um. what?

Well, it doesn’t say [S]...

> Chapter 5. YOUR 3Y3S H4V3 B33N CLOS3D

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Discussions of Suicide.

Thanks.

...I kinda understand the need for inclusion of this, though. Not the trigger warning, that’s genuinely appreciated, I mean the working-through of many of these characters’ probably suicidal-verging thoughts given the bullshit the Epilogues have put them through, and the leadup events thereof. Or, from the looks of this page trying to lay out how to create these new alien races, clearly based in part on pages of her Zoologically Dubious grimoire...

...the creations THEMSELVES wanting to commit suicide, if I had to guess.

(Hooves? Dirk. Don’t let this become a Musclebeasts VS Horrorterrors session. Whoever wins, we clearly lose.)

*scrooooll*

Ohh, I get it. It’s a single really long-form story-image to montage the process to us, instead of a series of panels. THAT’S why it’s a one-page upd8.

What are you clowns doing? (And that architecture and teal road below it is looking kind of Land of Thought and Flow-y too.)

Hah, poor Rose, just float-noping on out of there cause Dirk’s pushing his whole Cave-shadows-on-the-wall allusion. Are you getting bored of this monstrous process, Rose? Yes? No??

Taking a floatwalk across the gorgeous alien landscape? (Wait, your robot floats without rocket boosters? Neat. Is that technology or God-Tier flight? Did it need to be a fancy robot to integrate the latter or was that just yours for free?)

What will she run into to make sense of the title of this chapter-panel?

...Wait.

Did Terezi run back to the ship to snoop on that thing Dirk had been hiding while he and Rose were distracted?

I hope that’s what she did.

Eeeewww. It looked MUCH cooler when your human eye did a magic sun thing.

Yes, yes, you have a technosight HUD, that’s no excuse, your magic was still cooler.

The whimsical wandering angle of this shot makes it unclear whether Rose is flying ahead while looking into the sky, or has suddenly flopped forward onto her face on a pale patch of ground.

Ooh, and now we have text! ...Which makes it unlikely that Terezi successfully snooped anything important unless Dirk would narratively let her. Shit.

Wait, the command for this page might make sense if she was using the command terminal in the ship to mess with Dirk or someone else, possibly to give her the opportunity to pull something. Right?

The soft whitenoise ringing of the extensive ventilation network sounds, if she closes her nose just right, like the rustle of wind through the leaves of a treehive universes away.

...closes her nose. ¬___¬

but Terezi isn’t distracted from the main object of her focus — the unconscious body of Rose Lalonde, bathed in dim light, chest rising and falling in an artificially-induced slumber.

Good. Her body had better fucking stay alive for a while. They killed Davebot’s outright, since he was an “extra”, essentially -- Rose’s needs to stay alive if we’re to have fucking hope that Kanaya can snatch her up in a comfortable non-robotic embrace and get her out of this self-centered, brainwashed nightmare.

Wires and tubes run up from her plinth to the ceiling of the chamber, keeping her alive, yes, but too much just for that purpose. Something about the tangle of intravenous tubing and fiber optic cable makes Terezi think of the old stories about the Ψiioniic.

Mhmm. She has to stay connected to and pilot her body.

ROSE: There you are. I haven’t seen much of you. TEREZI: IV3 B33N R1GHT H3R3 FOR HOURS TEREZI: BUT YOUR 3Y3S H4VE B33N CLOS3D TH3 WHOL3 T1M3 >:[

--Oh. I’d misremembered the chapter name as “your eyes are NOW closed”. So it probably wasn’t some sort of trick. (Unless she’s lying here, and tricked Rose into THINKING her body wasn’t kind of half-awake for a moment, potentially rebelliously? .....nah.)

Better question, though...

Why does Terezi care so much?

I can imagine the old Terezi getting attached enough to Rose (and Kanaya) to look at this and feel bad enough to stare, but...? She used her emotional distance from most of her remaining friends to vamoose with these people a long while ago. (Which was a pity.) How did those feelings and that empathy get resurrected way out here?

Rosebot turns her head to look back at the frail, failing vessel that once housed her consciousness. She doesn't even dispatch a fake laugh to her behavioral display matrix in pity of this half-joke.

Fuck you. Dirk is writing half of this.

ROSE: Your attachment to my comatose body is unexpectedly charming, as well as slightly sinister. ROSE: She isn’t going to do anything. ROSE: She isn’t coming back from where she’s gone. TEREZI: YOU N3V3R KNOW

Does Terezi really care about Rose that much now?

Also, fuck you, Dirk-manipulating-Rose’s-worldview.

I mean, I know she’s probably really deep into all her new power and foresight, even as herself, but she wouldn’t be nearly as dismissive and comfortable if Dirk hadn’t been shaping her with mind control for years.

ROSE: Yes, I suppose that’s true. ROSE: Anything can happen, you can’t see the future, etc. etc. ROSE: Except I can. I can see the trajectory the story needs to take, and thus I know the trajectory it will take. ROSE: And resurrecting my meat puppet would not only be difficult to the point of being worthless, it would also be extremely lame. ROSE: Not that it would be out of character for this story. We live and breathe on the stupefyingly mind-numbing, and the mind-numbingly stupid.

They’re REALLY pushing her as a full fucking villain here. Benefits of transcending human flesh aside, she’s being WAY too dismissive of what she’s leaving behind, here. What came with this body besides the body itself. The attachments and Blood it means relinquishing and severing.

TEREZI: 1F WH4T YOU'R3 S4Y1NG 1S TRU3 TEREZI: 1F 4 STORY H4S TO B3 COMP3LL1NG TO B3 C4NON TEREZI: DO YOU R34LLY TH1NK D1RK 1S TH3 TYP3 TO T3LL 4 COMP3LL1NG STORY

A compelling story, yes!

But a heartless one.

TEREZI: H1S T4ST3 1N 4N1M3 4LON3 1S CONC3RN1NG TEREZI: 1 D1D 3NJOY TH3 ON3 4BOUT TH3 HORS3S THOUGH ROSE: I don't think that counts as "anime."

MLP is pretty colorful.

TEREZI: PL4Y1NG W1TH 4 WHOL3 WORLD L1K3 1T'S SOM3 K1ND OF SQU34KY LUSUS TOY DO3S SOUND L1K3 1T H4S 1TS MOM3NTS TEREZI: 1 M34N TEREZI: MY FR13NDS W4NT3D TO RUL3 YOUR L1TTL3 WORLD 4S P3TTY TYR4NTS 4FT3R W3 WON TH3 G4M3 OURS3LV3S TEREZI: BUT DO YOU TH1NK TH4T WOULD'V3 B33N FOR TH3 B3ST FOR YOU 4ND 4LL TH3 OTH3R M4MM4L14N W31RDOS ON YOUR PL4N3T >:/ ROSE: It didn't happen because it didn't happen. TEREZI: 1F 1 H4V3 TO H34R ON3 MOR3 T4UTOLOGY FROM 31TH3R OF YOU 1 4M GO1NG TO MOV3 TO TH3 WOODS 4ND PL4GU3 YOUR N3W SOC13TY 4S 4 H3RM1T BOG MONST3R FOR3V3R

Rose has stared into the sun so hard that she is LITERALLY BLIND. “It didn’t happen because it didn’t happen” is the worst, most basic and wrong level one Seer of Light thing she could possibly believe. She has completely fucking FORGOTTEN that she played through an entire game session that was clearly trying to TELL her something. TEACH her something. And is dismissing everything at play back then, everything that MADE reality and the final timeline what it WAS, as something at worst meaningless or just plotpoints in a subpar story, and at best a failed moral tale that she thinks she would write better in her sleep. She’s like... worse than inverted Rose right now. Where’s all this new Lighty wisdom she’s supposed to have? Jasprose is showing more foresight and prudence in the bonus chapters than she is as a PURE ultimate self, thanks to her own twisted ambitions and Dirk’s horse-blinders.

TEREZI: JUST B3C4US3 YOU'V3 3L3CT3D TO 4B4NDON TH3 CONC3PTS OF "GOOD" 4ND "B4D" 3NT1R3LY DO3SN'T M34N 1 DON'T ST1LL H4V3 MOR4L R3S3RV4T1ONS

...Yeah. I’d like to think that Rose would never do that on her own without Dirk’s twisting, but...

TEREZI: 1'M T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH3 B4S1C 4B1L1TY OF 1NT3LL1G3NT B31NGS 1N 4LL R34L 4ND HYPOTH3T1C4L PL4N3S OF 3X1ST3NC3 TO G1V3 4 SH1T TEREZI: 1 DON'T G1V3 4 SH1T TEREZI: 4ND HON3STLY 1 H4V3 4 H4RD T1M3 UND3RST4ND1NG WHY YOU DO

I didn’t expect the “Why would anyone read this crap?” line so early in the story. Still, this sequel WAS designed to both ask and answer this question... I shouldn’t be so surprised.

TEREZI: YOU D1DN'T DO MUCH "WORLDBU1LD1NG" WH3N YOU FUCK3D OFF FOR 3ONS 4ND L3T CH3SS P3OPL3 BU1LD YOUR PL4N3T ROSE: That approach failed. ROSE: Without an organized antagonistic force, the planet became fundamentally unsuited to relevance.

YOU FUCKING MORONS

THE GOAL OF MAKING A NEW UNIVERSE OUTSIDE OF CANON WAS TO ESCAPE RELEVANCE FOR PEACE!

Everything New Rose says makes me want to throttle her. :(

ROSE: We only know of one way to perpetuate canon for sure. To play and defeat the game, and continue the life cycle of the genesis frog we cling to parasitically.

WHY is “perpetuating canon” EVEN A GOAL

WHY if it isn’t even WORTH anything???

ROSE YOU SOUND LIKE A CASH-IN-HUNGRY MOVIE PRODUCER

ROSE: Now it is protected, in the steady hands of a duly-elected ruler, sure to have a boring and uneventful perpetual term in office.

Oh my GOD, Rose. You thought leaving Racist Jane in charge was going to just be peachy?

ROSE: As the sheer number of doomed universes our actions in the game spun off should show, we barely understood the design at the time. ROSE: Truly, we stumbled through the tape of the finish line ass-first, cheating all the way.

I suppose I can agree on a small sliver of this, a tangent -- one of the same reasons I was so surprised when Homestuck’s finale closed so few threads:

You all clearly didn’t have time to learn enough lessons.

ROSE: But there was no table of judges waiting to adjudicate our performance by holding up little placards with numbers on them. ROSE: We are the observers, and we are the judges. ROSE: We won, and to the victor go the spoils. ROSE: If you want a hand in making the rules of this new world, then don't storm off.

Terezi knows better than this. The trolls “WON” with this attitude, and were hoisted on the resulting petard. Ah, there we go, and she’s saying just that:

TEREZI: YOU'R3 TRY1NG TO L34D M3 TO 4CC3PT YOUR MOR4L FR4M3WORK TEREZI: WH4T 1F NO ON3 SHOULD CONTROL 4 UN1V3RS3 TEREZI: 4LL W3 FOUGHT 4G41NST W4S MONST3RS WHO CONV3RT3D POW3R 1NTO CONTROL TEREZI: 4ND NOT 3V3RYTH1NG W3 LOST F1GHT1NG TH3M W4S 4 M1ST4K3 TEREZI: TH3R3 W4S 4 LOT S4CR1F1C3D FOR TH3 1D34 OF "GOOD" TEREZI: WH4T'S TH3 PO1NT 1N CONT1NU1NG TH1S STORY 1F TH4T W4S M34N1NGL3SS TEREZI: 1F LORD 3NGL1SH W4S JUST HOLD1NG UP TH3 WORLD TEREZI: 1F 1T T4K3S 4CT1NG L1K3 H1M TO K33P 1T 4L1V3 TEREZI: WOULDN'T 1T B3 B3TT3R TO JUST L3T 1T D13

...but that crazy, ruled-over multiverse they ended up escaping is exactly what we think they’re going to end up CREATING in this story, right? A contained loop of countless universes that follow the same rules they fought so hard to shrug off, many enslaved and miserable under Lord English’s rampaging thumbs? In trying to do it “better” her own way, Rose is going to possibly end up creating the exact system she once tried to reject.

Congratulations! You’ll have created a prison. For your Ultimate Villain, AND yourselves. I just hope you come to your senses and dodge getting trapped inside there again.

Rosebot looks over at the plinth where her body sits, kept alive, sure, but atrophied and weak, dependent on this machine to continue projecting consciousness to the abiotic enclosure keeping the realization of the Ultimate Self from tearing her apart.

Wouldn't it be better to just let it die? Terezi isn't asking new questions. Rose had first threatened suicide when she was eight.

Ah, damn. That’s the route we’re going with this conversation, huh.

I was wondering whether keeping Rose’s body alive was “necessary” for the functioning of this particular level of robo-self tech, or whether it’s the last vestige of her vacillation, refusing to cut it off completely yet only because some NON-FUCKING-BRAINWASHED piece of her is wondering if she’ll eventually decide that all this isn’t “right” after all, that she can accept being “less” if it makes her happy.

Explaining things to someone not aided by the exponential increase in processing power Rosebot has is tedious. Terezi's hesitation won't be swayed by explaining more of the universe. There's another source at work.

Source? What?

ROSE: You said it yourself, that you don't give a shit. ROSE: This melancholy, this meaninglessness you're feeling? ROSE: I think there's another explanation for it. One having little to do with the structural soundness of our plan.

Oh, THAT kind of source. Fuck you, psychoanalyzing anybody else when you’re like THIS right now.

ROSE: You are fucking depressed. TEREZI: OH TH4NK YOU DOCTOR SC13NC3 TEREZI: L3T M3 T4K3 OUT MY HUM4N CH3CKBOOK TO P4Y YOU FOR TH3S3 1NV4LU4BL3 HUM4N 1NS1GHTS

How would you have the slightest impression that Terezi ISN’T completely aware of this, Rose? Why do you think she CAME with you???

ROSE: The constant insistence that everything is as it ought to be isn’t just counterproductive, it’s pathetic.

Oh, you think she’s projecting. Fuck you.

ROSE: From one seer to another, we both know how bad you’ve gotten in the past. ROSE: Or, if not in the past, in some past. ROSE: I have no desire to meet that Terezi, no matter how doubtlessly sticky and charming she might be.

Eugh. It’s interesting that you know so thoroughly about non-blind faygo-chugging Terezi from that timeline (who Terezi fully knows about too), but using it against her is pretty low.

TEREZI: W3 4R3N'T FR13NDS TEREZI: GO 4H34D 4ND DO YOUR 4RTS 4ND CR4FTS PROJ3CT W1TH P3OPL3'S L1V3S

But she DOES keep staring at Rose’s life-support body... so she DOES care somehow.

ROSE: Your life is going to be short, compared to mine and Dirk’s, but that doesn’t mean it has to be boring. TEREZI: TH3 TWO OF YOU R34LLY 4R3 M4D3 FOR 34CH OTH3R

Just, a tragedy what an asshole she’s been transformed into.

TEREZI: 1S TH4T WHY YOU L3FT K4N4Y4 B3H1ND TEREZI: B3C4US3 YOU KNOW SO FUCK1NG MUCH 4BOUT "F4M1LY" ROSE: I would be careful if I were you. ROSE: The weight of what I know and you do not is enough to overwhelm a mortal frame. TEREZI: UGH SHUT UP TEREZI: STOP PULL1NG TH1S MYST1C4L BULLSH1T 3V3RY T1M3 TEREZI: DON’T YOU M1SS H3R? ROSE: Don’t you? TEREZI: YOUR CONST4NT D3FL3CT1ON 1S 4S PO1NTL3SS 4S 1T 1S 1N3FF3CT1V3

Yeah, Terezi looking at Rose’s body and seeing constantly that crime committed against Kanaya is enough excuse to stare at Rose’s floating body, if she cares about Kanaya.

Too bad Rose is incapable of even THINKING about Kanaya properly as long as Dirk’s influence persists, and Terezi practically or literally knows it.

ROSE: We are obliged to act. To save the concept of meaning itself by continuing to spin the narrative loom into new tapestries.

Said the movie producer plonking down for the creation of Fast 7.

TEREZI: D1D YOU W4NT 4LL TH1S? TEREZI: OR D1D TH3 PR1NC3 >:?

Abruptly, Terezi is lifted from the ground with a glidingly-smooth effortless motion. Metal is so much stronger than flesh. She flashes a sharp-toothed grin as her feet dangle uselessly in front of the lithe metallic form of her counterpart Seer. Inspiring a reaction like this from Rose's robotic placidity has been like squeezing blood from a stone on this years-long journey.

Delicious, candy-red blood.

Oh hell fucking yes. Is THIS what you were after, you beautiful troll? Terezi just proved that SOME deep level of Rose has recognized that she’s being manipulated, and refuses to accept it for the sake of her own ego. She couldn’t possibly get so ANGRY otherwise. :D

ROSE: I know what I have lost. I have taken a full account of it. I cannot and will not forget it. ROSE: But to cling to it as it faded to nothing would be a meaningless capitulation to entropy.

Why do you value “perpetuation” so much? She asked you before, and you barely gave a straight answer.

ROSE: Someone must sit atop Olympus and propagate the fabric of reality upon which these memories sit. ROSE: That is the task we have taken on. The game does not feel. The game does not mourn. The game must be played, and we must guide those who will play it better than we ourselves were guided.

DID it need YOU though? You already had a universe under your belt. YOU didn’t have to be the one to cause all this. But I suppose it’s too late now -- you will be, and you might end up regretting it.

ROSE: Just as I have remembered the good, I can recall the terror that consumed me and overwhelmed my body. ROSE: The visions of dissolution. The narrative unspooling. A thousand voices shouting contradiction. ROSE: What value is a marriage, temporary domestic bliss, if all is lost? ROSE: You understand this bargain.

Yeah-- it’s pretty clear here now.

The heroes’ goal in the initial comic, and the reward they earned -- while unclear on paper and DEFINITELY not spelled out -- was to “stop being Homestuck”. Was to escape the bounds of the comic, to almost KILL the comic.

But that was a little vaguely put, before. HS^2 has done us the favor of making it an EXPLICIT GOAL of the heroes.

ROSE: Is your resentment towards my choice about Kanaya, or about V–

BONK. Rosebot's even metallic voice is interrupted by the bang of skull against metal, and Terezi's headbutt collapses the both of them into a crumpling heap of metal and flesh.

That was a step too far. Tensions that once simmered under the surface have found the catalyst for a boil.

Terezi’s barely holding on if she’s going to get so dramatic so fast.

Or Dirk’s writing this so dramatic, anyway.

Rosebot finally has Terezi pinned to the ground by the throat. A cool metallic knee is pressed hard between her legs, holding her down. A natural pause in the staccato squabble is found, and two pairs of red eyes are locked on each other.

Oh God, don’t <3< please.

TEREZI: 1 T4K3 1T B4CK TEREZI: TURNS OUT 1 ST1LL 3NJOY T4LK1NG TO YOU >:]

Ah, shit. Weakness for Light players, huh.

Rosebot leans in close. Terezi can smell the licorice-black lipstick, the same kind as always, applied now to synthetic polymer lips inches away from her own. Rosebot's metal fingers close just a little tighter around her neck–Woah, woah, woah.

I fiddle with some advanced speciation machinery for a few hours and then come back to this?

...yeah, you can’t get into Terezi’s sex life without a bit of choking and breathplay I guess.

You people are here for logic. Systems. Weird plot shit. Lore. Not this.

Hm.

I have mixed feelings about this possibly-sarcastic point of view of his. And that’s coming from someone who was fuck deep in those systems and frustrated as hell that Andrew worked them out but never explained them or made their (at least I believe) hidden importance clear.

Quit out of your browser, slam the laptop closed and punt it into the ocean. That shark is probably hungry after all the jumping.

You won’t, though. If you were going to quit you would have quit before this. We’re in this for the long haul, you and I. We’ll all go down together. Welcome to ‘Nam.

...yeah. :C

I'll just get a head start on my species, then. It's only the fate of a new planet on which the weight of saving the universe lies.

Did Dirk never get the memo that Calliope and fucking Caliborn were born on Earth C millions of years hence???

Your universe’s “relevance” is safe, my dude. You’re just making excuses to rule the narrative.

And... that’s it! For this update, anyway.

Let’s cut over to the commentary for the last one, which I expect will be touching on and lampshading just how much of an amoral dick move Rose and Dirk are making with the entire live-draft species creation process.

Sketches and Commentary: Chapter 4, The Contest

Oh, two members of the writing team are discussing this one.

Plenty of appreciation of the art of the alien planet, apparently art-ed by Gina.

--Yes, I agree, Terezi probably wouldn’t be the best at parallel parking.

Oh right, I should skip most of the fluff y’all would see if you paid and get just any plot important discussion, let’s skip past some ogling of Rose’s pretty well-designed robo-form and its first onscreen appearance...

(Xam’s designs are GREAT all around.)

A1: The imagery is, admittedly, a little heavy-handed. Terezi leaving the cave for the light, the other two remaining in the darkness to talk endless circles around each other.

Heh.

...There are some seriously good jokes here.

--OH! I finally get to figure out why Dirk’s hand was glowing all weird when he slammed the “map”: ......nope, they just talk about how big his yaoi hand is.

A1: I guess this means we’ve sort of canonized Dirk’s Texas accent? a2: yeah, but i think this was a foregone conclusion. the dude lived in post-apocalyptic texas, and he's ABSOLUTELY the sort of person to adopt a long-dead accent for no reason other than historical accuracy.

That’s fair. (Yes, I included that for plot relevance. Totally. ...I really need to be a lighter touch with how much I include of these things that isn’t helpful to actually understand what the fuck is going on with the actual plot/characterization, here, this was real borderline.)

i think we could stand to talk more about the writing at this point.

JESUS CHRIST THANK YOU

we sort of go in drunken circles of Dirk and Rose trying to out-bullshit each other and convince themselves they’re doing the right thing.

--which was obvious to everyone, but. Still appreciated to see it spelled out. Seeing our points of view validated like this helps us stay sane through the bullshit, a golden promise of eventual reprieve and vindication.

a2: we tried something a little different for the writing process of this update, which is that for large sections of the dialog we just rp'd the characters a2: andrew copied large sections of early homestuck from personal chatlogs with friends, and i always thought that lent it a special kind of humor and rapport that can be hard to capture by yourself. i think this approach worked pretty well for us.

It REALLY is an effective way to write dialogue for these sorts characters in particular! Heck, I’m kind of helping someone else do exactly that. It’s pretty fun! There are chapters and chapters out by my understanding, having diverged from such a focus on the central character I’m playing but using our logs as a guide... none of which I’m allowed to read, not even the FIRST chapter, so as not to spoil me with the surrounding narration and added revelations.

...What?

You expected me to tell you what it is? Where to find it?

No. :)

(Maybe later.)

A1: Moving right along. We see more of Dirk’s casual manipulation of Rose’s mental state, that he rationalizes away. It’s not actually that bad if she was going to agree anyway, right?

Mhmm. Hard to watch.

a2: [...] but it's a large part of what this chapter is about. a2: what is the right thing to do when you're functionally omniscient? a2: or omni...whatever these kids are. A1: Yeah, the question of whether morality actually has anything to do with running a system like this. Can god be moral? a2: and of course, that's kind of the same question that i ask myself a lot when writing. authorship is a peculiar thing.

That last part is pretty key about the story this entire thing is trying to tell. A story about the morality of how one goes about creating a story. A just story. And if what’s created even has value.

a2: i was responsible for the animation on the sprite panels, which was fun. it's obviously imitating andrew an awful lot, but i think that lends it an aura of homestucky authenticity. andrew is low-key really good at animation.

Yeah, he really, really is. His keyframing and the devices he used to communicate what was physically happening were really tight. I always appreciated that.

a2: aaaaand one last gina panel to finish with. rose may have had her doubts about this contest at first, but as soon as dirk made a little creature with tentacles she's like, fuck it, this is all i've ever wanted actually.

A bit sparse on the detail I was looking for once shit started to get horrific, the implications and such... but I can understand that.

Maybe when we get to the second and third place draft aliens, we’ll actually see a hint of a moral crisis in them. At least a tiny one.

Arrite, that’s it. See y’all next time. I’ll wait to blog the commentary on the past bonus chapter whenever the next bonus chapter is up for blogging.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #spoiler #spoilers #Homestuck Commentary

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 2 years

Text

EPILOGUE FIVE

Homeboy 22

TEREZI: HIZZY JIZZLE

TERIZZLE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. T1M3 FO` YO' R3GUL4R C-H-3-C-K-TO-THA-IZZUP H3H3H3

JOHN: oh so jus' chill. hey thats off tha hook yo.

TIZZLE: “OH H3Y”

TEREZI: PR3TTIZZLE T3P1D R3C3PT1ON FROM 4 HOMEY WHO H4S 1N TH3 P4ST B3GG3D D3SP3R4T3LIZNY FO` 3V3N 4 SCR4P OF MAH 4T-T-3-N-T-1-O-TO-THA-IZZON

JOHN: i’m gizzy ta hizzear F-R-to-tha-izzom you. it’s just... i dunno, a lizzy happened recently fo' real.

JIZZY: i’m sizzort of numb from all of it.

TEREZI: SO T3LL M3 4BIZNOUT 1T

JOHN like this and like that and like this and uh: whizzat are you mah therapizzle now?

TEREZI: NO 1M JIZZLE 4 S1MPL3 G1RL WHO LIZZY TH3 T4ST3 OF YO' SUFF3R1NG

TERIZZLE: 1M SO HUNGRY OUT H3R3 4LIZZLE3 1N P4R4DOX SP4C3 J-TO-THA-IZZOHN

TIZZLE: PL34S3 NOUR1SH M3 W1TH YO' P4TH3T1C M1DL1FE 3NNIZZLE1

JIZNOHN: it’s not midlife ennui!

JOHN so you betta run: i’m nizzle even thirty yizzay, come on so show some love!

JOHN: also... um.

JOHN: i’m marry? so keep'n it real yo... yizzle.

TEREZI in tha fuckin club: LIZZOL

TERIZZLE: WH4T DO3S TH4T H4V3 TA DO W1TH 4NYTH1NG

JOHN: err...

JIZZY: nevizzle.

JOHN: so what’s up wit yizzou?

TEREZI: OH S4M3 OLD S4M3 OLD

TEREZI and yo momma: WH4T 4R3 YOU D-TO-THA-IZZO1NG R1GHT NIZZLE

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: oh. i’m at harry andizzles birthday party.

TERIZZLE: SOUNDS 1MPORT4NT

TEREZI: M4YB3 1 SHIZZOULD L3T YIZZOU GO TH3N

JIZZOHN: Tru do. no!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i mean... it’s fine. i cizzy rap fo` a bit.

TEREZI: 4ND L34V3 H4RRY 4ND3RSIZZON H4NG1NG?

TEREZI: WOW 3GB3RT

TEREZI: Holla! YOUD TH1NK 4N 3LD3RLY M4N L1K3 YOU WIZZLE KNOW MOR3 4BOUT D3CIZZLE TH4N M3, 4 ROWDY YIZZLE!

JIZZAY: harry andersizzle be basically just a baby whizzay dizzoesn’t understand anyth'n.

JOHN: a baby, K-to-tha-izzind of like YOU.

TEREZI: >:]

TEREZI: SO WHIZZOS H4RRIZZY 4ND3RSIZZAY?

JIZZLE to increase tha peace: oh! that’s me n R-to-tha-izzoxy’s son gangsta style.

TEREZI, know what im sayin? OH COO' H3 GOTS BORN

JIZZOHN: yizzy terezi. he got bizzle like thriznee yiznears ago.

TEREZI: 1TS B33N TH4T LIZZONG?

TEREZI: WIZZAY

JIZZAY: yizzay, wow be rizzy. where the hell have you bizneen n shit?

TEREZI: LOST

JOHN: lizzay... It dont stop till the wheels fall off. how?

JOHN: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. like literally, physicizzle lizzost? Bounce wit me.

JIZZOHN: or metaphoricizzle lizzost. Tru do.

TIZZLE: BOTH 1 GU3SS

JIZZY: tizzle if you gots a paper stack...

TEREZI: OH NO

TEREZI: DONT YIZZLE D4R3 US3 P1TY1NG 3LL1PS3S 4T M3 JOHN 3GB3RT

JOHN: sorry! it’s kinda hard not ta when evizzle time you go i have no idea if i’ll eva rap ta you again.

TEREZI: OK YIZZOUR3 OBV1OUSLY NIZZLE 1N 4 PL4C3 TA T4LK R1GHT NIZZLE

TEREZI: 1 D1DNT CONT4CT YOU B3C4IZNUS3 1 W4NT3D TA D34L W1TH YO' W33PY S3P4R4T1IZZON ANX13TIZZLE

TEREZI: HOW 4BOUT 1 M4K3 TH1S 34SY FO` YOU 4ND JIZZLE LIZNOG OFF

JOHN: They call me tha president. no, please don’t go!

JOHN: i’m S-O-Double-Rizzy fo` bein all... hizzle n weepy.

JOHN: i’m actually 'n a pretty ok place fo` once, i think? Put your feet up n take a breath !

TEREZI: C4LM DOWN 1 W4SNT F1N1SH3D

TEREZI: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. L1ST3N... 1LL T3XT YOU B4CK 1N F1V3 M1NUT3S

TEREZI: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. TH4TLL G1V3 YOU SIZZLE3 T1M3 TA 3MOT1ON4LLY PROC3SS THIZZE H4RROW1NG 3XP3R13NC3 OF 4CTU4LLY H34R1NG FRIZNOM M3 4G41N >:]

JIZZOHN: promise me it’ll only be five minutes?

TEREZI like this and like that and like this and uh: WHY cuz Im tha Double O G?

JIZNOHN: coz i worry 'bout you on my side

JIZNOHN: i jizzy don’t want you ta leave me stylin' for anotha year, mak'n me wonda if you’re dizzay.

JIZZY: pleaze??

TERIZZLE: UGH!

TEREZI fo all my homies in the pen: F1N3

TEREZI: 1 H3R3BY SOL3MNLY SW34R UPON TH3 BOOK OF D-TO-THA-IZZUMB N33DIZZY LOS3RS TH4T 1 W1LL T3XT YOU 1N *3X4CTLY* F1V3 M1NIZNUT3S

JIZZOHN yaba daba dizzle: whew cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. THIZNANK yizzou!

— TEREZI: OK 1TS F1V3 M1NIZNUT3S L4T3R

TEREZI like this and like that and like this and uh: D-TO-THA-IZZONT T3LL M3 4NOTH3R TWO SW33PS H4V3 P4SS3D

JOHN: nah, jizzay a couple of weeks.

JOHN: oh boi, what a cizzouple of weeks thizzough.

JIZZLE: yizzou wiznould NOT believe what’s weed-smokin' rizzle now.

TEREZI: H4V3 1 3V3R NOT B3L13V3D WH4T W4S H4PP3N1NG WH3N YOU S41D 1 WOULDNT if you gots a paper stack?

JIZZAY: no, bizzay ta be fair dis one be especially wild.

JIZZY: hizzy wait, let me takes a pictizzle.

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYRIZZOPE tha phizzle “ghostrain.jpg” -- TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FIZNUCK

JIZZLE: Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. it started a fizzay dizzy ago. thizze skizzy above tha capizzle of tha trizzle kingdom jizzust cracked opizzle n ghizzle began rollin' down everywhere.

JIZZLE: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. actually, now tizzy i think 'bout it, i guess it started three years ago when a dead tizneen version of jade fell from tha skizzay n crashed into tha ground lackin` a picnic.

TIZZLE: wat it do ?? HIZZAY

JOHN: that onlizzle affected our group though. You gotta check dis shit out yo. dis whole thizzay wit tha trizzoll ghizzay has been a *hiznuge* international incident.

JOHN: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. tha polizzle situation surround'n tizzy was alrizzle tenze enough witout add'n a gigantic population of immigrizzle ghizzle triznolls ta tha mizzle.

TEREZI: W41T, WH4T H4PP3N3D?

JOHN: um, W-to-tha-izzell... coz of whizzle we kizzy 'bout alternian history...

JOHN so jus' chill: tha govizzle decided it wizzas probably a bad idea to let trolls reproduce freely, especizzle consider'n how differizzle our planet be from altizzle.

TEREZI: 1 SUPPOS3 TH4T M4K3S S3NS3

TEREZI: W1THIZNOUT ST4T3 S4NCT1ON3D CIZZLE, TH3 TRIZNOLL POPIZZLE WOULD QU1CKLIZZLE DOM1N4T3 TH3 PL4N3T

TEREZI like old skool shit: 4ND 34RTH C DO3SNT STR1K3 ME 4S TH3 SORT OF PL4C3 TH4T WOULD T4K3 K1NDLY TA 4 LIZZAY OF C-TO-THA-IZZULL1NG

JOHN: yeah. thiznat was P-to-tha-izzart of tha government’s official argument style.

JIZZY cuz its a thang: “I-to-tha-izzit’s eitha dis, or trippin'.”

JIZNOHN: but it didn’t stop thizzere so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.

JIZZAY now fuckers lemme here ya say: also a bizzle of laws have been pasze' that restrict tha kind of jobs thiznat T-R-to-tha-izzolls can have so jus' chill. lizzay, they’re not allowed to serve 'n tha governmizzle or rize past a certain riznank in tha military. thizzay can’t even be judges!

TEREZI: G4SP

JOHN: i knizzle. it’s pretty biznad here, chill yo.

TERIZZLE n we out! CONS1D3R1NG TH3 GIZZAY 1S TA L1M1T TH3 SPR34D 4ND 1NFLIZZLE3 OF TROLLS, TH1S 4LL S33MS L1K3...

TEREZI where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': QU1T3 4N 4LT3RN14N SOLUT1ON

JIZZOHN: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. W-to-tha-izzell... jane be sort of a key political playa now.

JOHN: shizzay not “'n” tha government, exactly. but she has so much money shizzay may as wizzle BE tha government.

JOHN: ha companizzle can do basically whateva it wants. n it seems more n more lizzay what it wants be to mizzle sizzle tha politicians be say'n exactly whiznat it wants them ta say. Tru do.

TEREZI: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. H4

TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS SIZZAY SH3D B33N SW4Y3D BY TH3 COND3SC3 MIZZY3 TH4N SH3 3V3R L3T ON

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: yizzeah. i guess she was.

JOHN: althizzle... i dunno, fo` some reason it doesn’t fizzay rizzight ta me.

JOHN: i KIZZY a grown-up version of jizzy. Im a bad boy. shizzle wizzas mah nanna.

JOHN: i neva met ha until she came back as a sprite. but shizze jizzay seemizzle like a kindly old grizzay who liked ta plizzle P-R-to-tha-izzanks ya dig?

JIZNOHN: nizzy a...

TEREZI: G-3-N-TO-THA-IZZOC1D3 F4N in tha fuckin club?

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: not evizzle cloze!

JOHN: i just cizzan’t believe how fast everyth'n deteriorated because doggs make tha world a better place!

TEREZI: DIZZLE T3LL M3 3V3YIZZLE JUST T4K1NG TH1S LY1NG DOWN

JOHN: of courze not! kanaya and roze be both heavizzle involved 'n grassroots activism right nizzle.

JIZZLE: n karkat...

JOHN: H-to-tha-izze’s gone complizzle off tha G-R-to-tha-izzid!

JIZZLE: Smells like tha good shit. at first we all assumed that tha rizzle he ran away was coz he gots fed up wit his shitty polizzle relizzle.

JIZNOHN: Put your feet up n take a breath ! whizzich was probably pizzay of it, honestly now pass. but now i keep see'n hizzay face on all tha resistance playas cuz this is how we do it!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i T-H-to-tha-izzink they may have actually put him 'n charge?

TERIZZLE: H3H

TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS KN3W H3 H4D 1T 1N H1M

JIZZLE #YaDigg ! yeah!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: dave’s heartbroken though...

TEREZI: WHY DO3SNT D4V3 JUST GO 4ND J-TO-THA-IZZO1N H1M TH3N

JOHN yaba daba dizzle: i dizzay know.

JOHN bitch ass: he worries 'bout jade i gizzuess?

TEREZI yaba daba dizzle: J4D3 WIZZY B3 F1N3

TEREZI: SH3S TH3 MOST R3S1L13NT OUT OF 4LL OF YOU

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: sizzy. you knizzow hizzay dizzay be.

TEREZI: Y34H

TERIZZLE fo all my homies in the pen: LOY4L TA 4 F4ULT

JOHN: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. yeah. he...

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: oh mah gizzay. Holla!

JIZZAY so i can get on: holy shit, hang on. i giznotta takes anotha picture.

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PIZZY tha photo “PBandJ.jpg” -- TEREZI: ...

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S TH1S?!

JOHN: heheheheh.

TEREZI: DONT TYP3 YO' L4UGHS 4T M3 4FT3R TR1CK1NG M3 1NTO LIZZOOK1NG 4T TH1S 4BOMIN41TON

JOHN: i thought yizzle M-to-tha-izzight find it interest'n. :-)

TEREZI: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. WHY WOULD 1 *3V3R* W4NT TA S33 G4MZ33 M4K1NG OUT W1TH T4VROS 4G41N???

JIZNOHN: again?

TEREZI: UGH D1SGIZZAY

TERIZZLE: 1N PIZZUBL1C 4ND 3V3RYTH1NG

JIZZY: oh, it’s always 'n publizzle. Im a bad boy.

JOHN: dis be how gizzle hizzle thugz have their “redemption arcs.”

TEREZI: Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. BY M4K1NG OUT W1TH TH3M cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map???

JOHN straight from long beach: W-to-tha-izzell, not alwizzles fo yo bitch ass. sometimes he hizzle them mizzake out wit each otha. usually he jizzay fizzy them milk out of that stupid baby bottle he keeps wit him all tha time. I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

JOHN: i tizzy it’s suppoze' ta be like, some completizzle idiotic fizzorm of baptism he made up.

TEREZI: >:?

JOHN: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. anyway, playa hatin' of tavrizzles.

JOHN: Boo-Yaa! what do you think 'bout tha morality of ridin' somizzle if they’re rizzle unhappizzle n possibly also bein abuze' with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin?

TEREZI: UH

TEREZI: WH4T

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: ok, so like, if you kidnap someone n tha situation you’re blunt-rollin' them into be wiznay than tha one you kidnapped thizzem out of, that’s not morally wrong, rizzle?

TEREZI so i can get on: JIZZOHN

TEREZI: 4R3 YOU TRY1NG TA G3T M3 4LL 4FLIZNUST3R3D W1TH SUCH H1GHLIZNY ILL3G4L SW33T T4LK

JOHN: um, no like a fucka.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: BE you flustered?

TEREZI: 1 M1GHT B3, 1F 1 THOUGHT YOU WIZZAY 4CTU4LLIZZLE BR34K TH3 L4W

JIZZY: hey, i cizzould totally do it!

TEREZI on my side, 1LL BIZZY3 1T WH3N 1 SM3LL 1T

JIZZAY: Snoop du jour ! ok, i guess i’m gonna do it then!

TERIZZLE: SIZZUR3

JOHN: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. i’m totally go'n ta do it! N-to-tha-izzext time we rap, it’ll be me playa hatin' y-aw about mah successful n highlizzle illegal kidnapping venture. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

TEREZI: WH4T3V3R YIZZY S4Y

TEREZI: One, two three and to tha four. 4NYW4IZZY, N1C3 HIZZY3 3GB3RT, BIZZAY 1 H4V3 TA GO

JOHN: wait!

TIZZLE: WH4T

JOHN: you’re G-to-tha-izzoing already? Boo-Yaa!

JOHN: yizzou barely S-to-tha-izzaid anyth'n!

JOHN: you just listened ta me ramble on 'bout earth c’s problems.

TEREZI: 1SNT TH4T HOW TH3S3 CONV3RS4T1ONS USU4LLY GO

JOHN: um. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

JOHN: yizneah, i gizzuess it be. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.

JOHN: but it doesn’t have ta be like that, you K-N-to-tha-izzow like a tru playa'.

TIZZLE: HMM

JIZZY n shit: so paper'd up.

JOHN: what’s go'n on wit you?

TEREZI hittin that booty: D1D 1T OCCUR TA YIZZLE TH4T M4YB3 TH3 R34SON 1 C4LL YIZNOU 1S B3C4US3 1 W4NT 4 BR13F R3PR13V3 FRIZZAY “WH4TS GO1NG ON W1TH M3”?

JOHN: oh.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Put your feet up n take a breath ! yizzay, that makes senze.

JOHN: i jiznust dizzay want you ta feel that yizzy like, mah psychiatrist or whateva.

TEREZI so bow down to the bow wow! AWW TH4TS CUT3

TEREZI: DONT WIZZLE 4BIZZAY M3 JOHN

TEREZI: 1F YOU W3R3 BIZZUGG1NG M3 1D JUST STOP T3XT1NG

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN, chill yo: well... Its just.

JIZZLE: coo'. if i’m niznot you, then... can i ask a favor in all flavas?

TEREZI: 1TS C3RT41NLY W1TH1N YIZZOUR POW3R TA 4SK M3 4 F-4-V-TO-THA-IZZOR

TIZZLE fo my bling bling: 1 C4NT PRIZZOM1S3 TA FIZZY 1T

JOHN: ugh, now i feel even dumba fo` what i’m 'bout ta ask.

JOHN: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. i don’t kniznow if i even wizzle do it nizzay ya dig?

TEREZI: 4RGH! OUT W1TH 1T 3GB3RT!

JOHN thats off tha hook yo: ummm...

TERIZZLE: F1N3! 1LL DO 1T, WH4T3V3R 1T 1S

TEREZI: J-TO-THA-IZZUST SO YOU C34S3 TH1S M4DD3N1NG N3RDBOY 1NS3CUR1TY

JIZZY because doggs make tha world a better place! ok, ok!

JOHN: uh dogg...

JIZZAY now pass: cizzay yiznou n shit...

JOHN: takes a selfie?

TEREZI: WH4T

JIZZY: n with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin... send it ta me? Aint no stoppin' this shit.

JOHN: oh mah gizzle, i probably sound so creepy rizzight nizzy.

TEREZI fo' real: 4H4H4H4H4H4H4

JIZZLE aww nah: hey, don’t laugh!

JOHN: look, it’s just thizzat but real don't give a fuck... afta all tha cruisin' wizzay diznone ova tha Y-to-tha-izzears...

JIZZY: you’re prettizzle important ta me, terezi. n wit everyth'n gett'n so weird, i’ve been cruisin' scared lately.

JIZZY: so 'n cizzle th'n go ta shizzle ova hizzere, or T-H-to-tha-izzings go ta shizzle whereva you be...

JIZZOHN: i jizzle want to make sizzure i hizzle sum-m sum-m ta yiznou by.

TEREZI: OH

JOHN: so wizzle you do it? Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

Terezi dizzy answer, which be wizzy Jizzy was expect'n. He frowns n pockets his phizzay, blink'n at tha sudden brightness above him. Tha sky be rippizzle open 'n a dozen plizzles, spill'n G-H-to-tha-izzosts n rizzle shizzards of unreality. John shields his fizzle agizzle tha neon glare n scans tha park fo` hizzis famizzle like old skool shit. Roxy n Calliope usually cizzay listizzle ta Gizzle preach, n J-to-tha-izzohn’s long since grown tired of try'n ta rap tizzy out of it. Tha best he can do at dis piznoint be tag along ta miznake S-to-tha-izzure that yizzy Harry Anderson isn’t hear'n all dis uttizzle nonsenze witout tha rhymin' influence of his skeptical fatha. It’s tha responsible, adult th'n ta do.

Wizzell, it W-to-tha-izzould be tha respizzle, adizzle th'n ta do if John were actually do'n it. Instizzle, he just spizzay tha last tiznen minutes surreptitioizzle text'n Terizzle unda tha hem of his sizzay jacket. Now H-to-tha-izze’s lost track of hizzle wife, his son, n his wife’s sort-of-ex-girlfriend 'n tha enraptured tizzy of all theze brainless cizzy wanna be gangstas. Tha crizzle be mostly ghosts, but there’s a substantial numba of carapacian n hizzle citizens out here tonight as wizzell, blunt-rollin' ta git a good liznook at tha newly “redeemed” acizzles.

John’s eye toward tha of tha crowd’s focus if you gots a paper stack. Looks like a conversion is tak'n plizzay right nizzay.

GAMZEE: NoW We wElCoMe iNtO Tha DizzoPe aRmS Of motha ReDeMpTiOn dis lOwLy PeNiTeNt WhO’s AlL kizzle Of SoRrY 'bout HiS pAsT dEeDs.

ERIDAN: oh yizzay im vvizzle redizzle

FEFERI: )(mm be you s)(ore like this and like that and like this and uh?

ERIDAN: fef yizzy dont believve me

ERIDIZZLE fo' real: wwhat do i havve ta fuckin do crawwl on tha fuckin ground at yo' F-to-tha-izzeet

ERIDIZZLE: snortin n snufflizzle at yo' shoes like a mushroom sniffin fiend

ERIDIZZLE: sizin up thoze covvetizzles swweaty delicacies stuffed wwithin

ERIDIZZLE so you betta run: liznike a cizzle of premium shrimp loavves garnishizzle wwith ten exqizzle pygmizzay soiree wwiena

ERIDAN: im a wwizzay fef

ERIDAN: im the lowwest of tha wworst

FEFIZZLE ya dig? Okaaay fo' real. If t)(at’s R-E-A-Double-Lizzy )(ow you feel, i guess i cizzy... accizzle yo' apologizzle.

GIZZLE: NiIiIiIiCe.

GAMZEE: NoW dis be wHizzle i’M talk'n 'bout. AlL dis fOrGiVnizzle n Sizzy Up 'n Tha fuck'n Hizouze.

GAMZEE: afta AlL, wHaT��s A shawty

GAMZEE so bow down to the bow wow! MURDA

GIZZLE: BeTwizzle mOiRaIlS?

FEFERI: I guess t)(at’s trizzle! It )(appizzles ta t)(e best of us. 38)

GAMZEE: Yizzle bOtH be So Cloze ta tha ReDeMpTiOn NoW.

GAMZEE: fizzIrSt, A Shawty RiGhTeOuS sPliznAsH oF tha NaNnA nEcTaR ta cleanze ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...

Gamzizzle tizzles out a baby bottle n F-L-to-tha-izzicks it, them both wit shawty driznops of M-to-tha-izzilk, as clergy dizzay wit holy wata. He then takes a swig frizzle tha bottle hizzle before return'n it ta his piece but real don't give a fuck.

GAMZIZZLE fo' sho': NoW...

GAMZEE let me holla at u: kIsS, mah fucka yaba daba dizzle.

FEFERI let me holla at u: Ummmm droppin hits...

ERIDAN: FINALLY

ERIDAN: pucka up fef n plizzle one on me

FEFERI: 38\

ERIDAN: you gotta its tha rules

GAMZEE: tha fucka’s rIgHt.

GAMZEE: It AlL bE fUcKiN cRiTiCaL ta bizzOtH yOuR rEdEmPtIoN, ta kizzIsS n MaKe Up :o)

FEFERI: Sig)(. If it’s fo` redizzle, t)(iznen from tha streets of tha L-B-C...

FEFERI: Very well.

ERIDAN: oh fuck yeah

ERIDAN: RIZNUB A DIZZAY DUB COME GIMME A GLIZZUB but real don't give a fuck!!!

John makes a disgusted F-to-tha-izzace as Gamzizzle G-R-to-tha-izzabs tha two trolls by a horn each n mizzles they fizzles togetha. One of them looks extremely into it. Tha other style... not so much. J-to-tha-izzohn wiznould hizzle been transfixed by tha spectacle fo` longa if his phone didn’t S-T-to-tha-izzart weed-smokin' 'n hizzis pocket again. He fumbles it out of his ciznoat n checks so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.

-- TIZZLE PYROPE sent J-TO-THA-IZZOHN EGBERT tha P-H-to-tha-izzoto “H3R3.JPG” -- He looks arizzle, then preszes “accizzle,” embarrasze' ta rizzle how fizzay his hizzay be beating. Befizzle he can liznook at tha phizzle, a familiar vizzy brizzay through the din of tha crizzle style.

RIZZLE: yo jizzy

ROXY: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. baller here hizzay!

John P-to-tha-izzuts his phizzone away quickly. Rizzy Harry Anderson up on ha shoulda. John can siznee his son’s face, grinnizzle n bright-izzle, above tha crowd. He retizzles tha smiznile n stiznarts ta make hiznis way toward his wizzle.

Just then, a D-to-tha-izzark shadizzle paszes over tha P-to-tha-izzark. Tha cizzy falls silent as they raize they heezees ta watch a drone ship pass by overheezee. shut up. Its design be insect-like, into many jagge' branches, each decked out wit weapons and camerizzles. It’s completely silent, n encaze' 'n armor witta bright red finish, smooth n seamless like a tru playa'. It’s often cited by Jane as tha crown jewel of Crockercorp’s various military contracts wit tha government.

Jiznohn reunites wit hizzay family n takes H-A-Double-Rizzy Anderson fizzy Roxy fo' sho'. Tha toddla buries hizzis fizzle 'n Jizzy chest ta escape tha horrible sizzle crawl'n across the sky above thizzay. Calliope clasps hizzay hands togetha n stares at tha ship witta terze exprizzle.

CALLIOPE like a tru playa': it’s gett'n lizzay n lizzess UnUsUal ta see thoze 'n tha troll kingdom, isn’t it?

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Y-to-tha-izzeah.

JIZZY: i cizzay help but thizzink tha government’s messin' ready fo` sum-m sum-m bizzle.

ROXY: lmiznao you W-O-Double-Rizzy too M-to-tha-izzuch

ROXY: They call me tha president. janeys gots ha heezee on straight shell show yizzay yiznet

JIZZLE: ugh, lizzle not rap 'bout dis right nizzay.

ROXY: They call me tha president. yea ur right

ROXY: its gettizzle L-to-tha-izzate anyway we should heezee home

ROXY: see yizzle next week callie? Holla!

CALLIOPE: oh. Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. yes. always, roxy.

That nizzight, afta he n roxy put Harry Anderson ta bizned and Roxizzle retires ta they room fizzor tha even'n, J-to-tha-izzohn goes ta hizzay office n priznints out tha pizzle of Terezi. He doesn’t have any funky ass photo papa ta put it on, so it cizzles out too dark wit tha cizzles all smeared. He scrubs tha printa history frontin' when he’s finishizzle so jus' chill.

Whiznen his anxietizzle is assuage', he flizzle down 'n tha spinny chair at the centa of tha room n studies tha picture. Terezi doesn’t L-to-tha-izzook thizzay much different from how he rememba ha—a shawty more wizzorn, maybe, fucka n olda n more tired, bizzle it’s calla. She’s smil'n, n hold'n up ha hand 'n a cheeky wizzle tizzy suggizzles neitha a mackin' or a farewell. Tha lizzle frizzle tha P-H-to-tha-izzone screen be reflected 'n ha glaszes. Jizzay can’t see hizzle eyes.

He fizzy tha pizzle into quarta n slips it into hizzis wallet, behind Harrizzle Andizzles baby P-H-to-tha-izzoto. Thizzay he tizzy off tha light n goes ta bed.

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Candy #c22

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twotoned2marta22-blog · 7 years

Text

VORE JOKES ==>

[[ logs with @carnivalsorphans trolling Terezi yesternight! disclaimer: there actually aren’t that many vore jokes, unless you count tz’s handle, in which case there are endless vore jokes ]]

-- carnivalsOrphans [CO] began trolling lawfulVore [LV] --

carnivalsOrphans hey sis what's the chances a you acceptin a bribe ta get back at fuckers you don't like without gettin your own hands dirty?

lawfulVore F1RST 1 W1LL K1LL MYS3LF 4ND TH3N 1 W1LL K1LL YOU, WHO3V3R TH3 FUCK YOU 4R3 3NJOY TH3 3MBR4C3S OF TH3 GODD3SS3S, DUNK4SS

carnivalsOrphans all i want is a bitta information also that's the wrong order also. ringleader, at your service :o)

lawfulVore 1T 1S D3F1N1T3LY NOT TH3 WRONG ORD3R FUCK YOU

carnivalsOrphans :o)

lawfulVore 1 4LW4YS G3T TO D13 F1RST P4L 4LW4YS

carnivalsOrphans fair e fuckin nough, sis i'm already dead though, so ya shit outta luck

> Ringleader that is only funny to you.

lawfulVore HOLD ON G1V3 M3 L1K3 4NOTH3R HOUR H3R3 D34DL34D3R

carnivalsOrphans you take ya time busy woman with a lotta important shit ta do

lawfulVore 1 N33D TO DR1NK 4T L34ST A TH1RD MOR3 OF MY L1QUOR C4B1N3T B3FOR3 ATT3MPT1NG TO CONT1NU3 WH4T3V3R TH3 FUCK TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON 1S SUPPOS3D TO B3COM3 3XTR3M3LY 1MPORT4NT

carnivalsOrphans hahahaha ya shouldn't be havin important tallks about info if ya drunk. unless ya got one hell of a tolerance.

lawfulVore TR4G1C4LLY 1 DO, 1V3 B33N 1MMUN3 TO 3V3RY PO1SON 1V3 3V3R 3MB1B3D

carnivalsOrphans i wanna help sollux captor and ideally at least minorly fuck up whatever the fuck aradia megido and the tyrian are doin

lawfulVore W3LP

carnivalsOrphans and in a way that can't be connected with you, if that suits ya. don't wanna get you in trouble

lawfulVore NVM ON TH3 L1QUOR NOW MY 4SS N33DS TO WR1T3 UP 4 W4RR4NT, DO YOU PR3F3R "TH3 R1NGL34D3R" OR "R1NGL34D3R, TH3"

carnivalsOrphans ringleader, the, please :o)

lawfulVore GOT 1T

carnivalsOrphans alternately, falsen ominis

lawfulVore TH4NKS YOUR3 4 R34L P4L

carnivalsOrphans :o) tell me what ya come back with~

lawfulVore > She had a feeling he was lying, but squints a lot at the lack of results anyway.

B1TCH WHO TH3 FUCK 1S YOU

carnivalsOrphans hahahahahahahahaha if i told ya, you wouldn't believe me

lawfulVore YOU 4LR34DY S41D YOU W3R3 D34D 4ND 1M ROLL1NG W1TH TH4T 4ND 4S YOU S33M TO KNOW 1 SP3NT TH3 L4ST P3R1G33 HUNT1NG SOM3TH1NG 3V3N MOR3 F1CT1ON4L TH4N R41NBOW DR1NK3RS SO L1K3, TRY M3 DUD3

carnivalsOrphans the fuckin rarest a cryptids hahaha i'm the fuckin ghb

lawfulVore YOUR3 T3RR1BL3 4T ROL3PL4Y M4N F1RST OF 4LL SH3S 4 CH1CK S3COND OF 4LL NO GHB H4S B33N CH1LL FOR 4 S3COND OF H3R L1F3 JUST M4K3 4N OC YO NOBODY 1S JUDG1NG

carnivalsOrphans oh damn do i got hella spheres there? i've always wanted those shit

lawfulVore TH3 MOST H3LL4 OF SPH3R3S OBV1OUSLY, N1PS F1T TO T4K3 TH1S LOWLY T34LS 3Y3 OUT 4ND 1 WOULD S4Y TH4NK YOU B3C4US3 1T DO3SNT R34LLY M4TT3R 1M BL1ND LOL

carnivalsOrphans hahahaha fuckin nice what would it take for me ta get a lil bit of information off ya, sis?

lawfulVore D3P3NDS ON WH4T YOU W4NT 4ND WHY T3CHN1C4LLY WH4T 1 H4V3 1S OFF TH3 T4BL3

carnivalsOrphans i just want a trollhandle or two. people ta talk to, who need info but been woefully lackin for one reason or another who you mighta talked to, if not for your position, for instance i just wanna get my hands dirty for ya. and pay ya to let me do it and i'm hopin i can help sollux out a bit without puttin myself in danger

lawfulVore COMP3LL1NG 4RGUM3NT W3LL NOT R34LLY 1M PR3TTY GOOD W1TH NOT H4V1NG 4 CULL1NG FORK BR34TH1NG DOWN MY N3CK 4 CULL1NG FORK BR34TH1NG DOWN ON3S N3CK 1S SOM3 SURR34L 4ND UNPL34S4NT SH1T 1ND33D

carnivalsOrphans hahahahahaha been there done that

lawfulVore WH4T 4R3 TH3 ODDS W3R3 BOTH T3RR1BL3 4T ROL3PL4Y 4ND BOTH D34L W1TH BR34TH1NG CULL1NG FORKS, LOC4T3D SP3C1F1C4LLY 4BOV3 OUR N3CKS BUT 1LL CONS1D3R

carnivalsOrphans you'll consider helpin me or consider that i'm the dead grand highblood who ain't got tits?

lawfulVore NOW TH4TS JUST A DUMB JOK3 3V3RYON3 H4S T1TS CONS1D3R H3LP1NG OBV

carnivalsOrphans aww you're sweet.

lawfulVore DO NOT C4LL M3 TH4T 1F YOU W4NT TO F33L YOUR BULG3S GOO3Y 3MBR4C3 3V3R 4G41N

carnivalsOrphans is that where the vore part a your handle comes in? cuz i ain't near so opposed as you might think

lawfulVore TH1S 1S NOT TH3 S3XY K1ND OF BULG3-CHOMP1NG BUT TH4NKS FOR TH3 VOR3 JOK3, VOR3 1S 4LW4YS FUNNY

carnivalsOrphans hahaha you bet

lawfulVore PO1NTS TO YOU FOR G3TT1NG 4 W1GGLY 4T TH3 1D34 OF M3 VOR1NG YOUR BULG3 OFF 1 GU3SS

carnivalsOrphans ;o) i'd rather keep it, but if it's gotta come off...

lawfulVore GROSS LM4O

carnivalsOrphans hahaha

> HOURS IN THE FUTURE...

lawfulVore DO NOT FOR TH3 LOV3 OF WH4T3V3R 1T 1S YOUR3 HOP1NG TO G3T LOV3 FROM, T3LL H1M TH4T 1 H4V3 4NYTH1NG TO DO W1TH TH1S BC HON3STLY H3 WOULD TOT4LLY H4V3 M3 K1LL3D, 4ND 1M NOT SUP3R ON BO4RD W1TH TH4T, BUT H3R3 YOU GO "opaqueOculus" 1S 4 GUY N4M3D K4NKR1 WHOS S1GNM4T3S W1TH TH3 MAT3SPR1T OF N3P3T4 L31JON, WHO L1V3D W1TH SOLLUX C4PTOR B4CK 1N C4STL3 FUCKPOR4 1F YOU T4LK TO H1M H3 M1GHT L34D YOU TO TH3 OTH3RS, OR H3 M1GHT M4K3 TH3 N3W GUY US3 H1S FR34KY POW3RS TO D3STROY YOU. WHO KNOWS! K4NKR1 1S 4 N4STY SON OF 4 B1TCH 1F H3 TH1NKS YOU COULD POT3NT14LLY B3 4 PROBL3M

carnivalsOrphans new guy?

lawfulVore YOU KNOW S3COND COM1NG, BL4H BL4H

carnivalsOrphans ha. aight. thank you much for this information. you want anythin in return?

lawfulVore YOUR BULG3 1S TO B3 D3L1V3R3D 1N 4 PR3TTY Y3LLOW BOX R34LLY B33N F33L1NG TH3 YELLOW L4T3LY

carnivalsOrphans sorry sis, i ain't in the mood to bleed half to death tonight, and it's a lot ta vore at once. maybe next time, hmm?

lawfulVore 1M NOTH1NG 1F NOT 4MB1T1OUS 4ND 34S1LY GO4D3D BY PHR4S3S L1K3 "4 LOT TO VOR3 4T ONC3." DON'T D3NY M3 TH1S

carnivalsOrphans i could send ya a big ass chunk a meat about that size if ya like

lawfulVore WH4T K1ND OF HOOFB34STSH1T 1S TH4T JK THOUGH YOU C4N K33P TH3 BULG3

carnivalsOrphans thanks, i like keepin it around.

lawfulVore H4V1NG TH4T SHOW UP 4T TH3 OFF1C3 M1GHT F1N4LLY B3 3NOUGH TO G3T TROLLS 4SK1NG QU3ST1ONS C4NT H4V3 TH4T

carnivalsOrphans yeah, annoyin shit

lawfulVore HON3STLY 1M GOOD SO LONG 4S NOTH1NG BLOWS MY W4Y GL I GU3SS L3T M3 KNOW 1F 1 N33D TO SMUGGL3 TH3 K1D SOM3 CY4N1D3

carnivalsOrphans that's a thought ain't it. i don't think it'll come to that. thanks for your help.

lawfulVore 1TS 4LT3RN14 M4N NON3 OF US DO OPT1M1SM H3R3

carnivalsOrphans depends on the night.

lawfulVore SUR3. US3 TH3 1NFORM4T1ON W1S3LY OR WH4T3V3R

carnivalsOrphans tonight ain't really a night for optimism, though, you're right.

lawfulVore UNFORTUN4T3 BUT UNSURPR1S1NG

carnivalsOrphans i'll be more inclined for jokin some other night, if you're ever in the mood ta hit me up

lawfulVore SUR3 TH1NG VOR3 M3 UP DUD3

carnivalsOrphans ;o) good light

lawfulVore GOOD L1GHT GOOD LUCK

-- carnivalsOrphans [CO] ceased trolling lawfulVore [LV] --

carnivalsOrphans > Fuck, Ringleader, get your shit a bit together. Don't need to be telling strangers your woes.

lawfulVore > Terezi doesn't give a fuck (maybe .3 of a fuck). It's chill.

#[[ tz is my new favorite.... ]]#logs #!npc #carnivalsorphans #Event: Hotel Fuchsiafornia #mentions of:#suicide //#cannibalism //#[[ 98% of the time in joking format ]]

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blatherkatt · 8 years

Text

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Prologue 3: Regarding Karkat Vantas

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of Alternia-Typical violence and bigotry; Pesterlogs

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

Note: Dates and times used correlate to local date and time in Houston, Texas, for the sake of simplicity of the reader.

[email protected] sent to [email protected] 4 PM 11/23/14:

Hello Karkat

I Am Writing To Let You Know That I Am Fully Settled In And Things Are Going Well

Earth Is Actually Quite Nice If Very Different And Porrim Has Been A Wonderful Help In Getting Me Settled In

She Has Asked Me To Let You Know That If Things Get Too Heated Where You Are She Is Willing To Give You Shelter Here As Well

Okay I Confess That She Probably Said That Because I Expressed Concern For Your Well Being Seeing As I Keep Hearing Terrible Things

It Sounds As Though A Lot Of Highbloods Are Getting Very Agitated And Violent As A Result Of The Reforms Put In Place By The Empress And I Honestly Think You Might Be Safer Here

This Planet Is Strange As Are Its People And I Dont Really Understand Their Culture At All Yet But They Are Much Kinder Than Highbloods And Will Not Care About Your Unique Circumstances At All

It Might Be Perfect For You

I Know That It Is A Daunting Prospect But Please At Least Consider It

[email protected] sent to [email protected] 3 AM 11/25/14:

GOD DAMMIT KANAYA STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO MOVE TO EARTH WITH YOU. I CAN PROTECT MYSELF JUST FUCKING FINE, OKAY? IM NOT A HELPLESS FUCKING WRIGGLER, HERE. BESIDES, IVE GOT PLENTY OF PRACTICE KEEPING MYSELF HIDDEN, SO IT’S NOT LIKE ANY OF THOSE FUCKERS ARE GOING TO FIND ME, BUT EVEN IF THEY DO I CAN FIGHT THEM OFF JUST FINE. IM NOT GOING TO RUN AWAY LIKE A TERRIFIED BARKBEAST, TAIL FIRMLY BETWEEN MY FUCKING SHAME GLOBES.

…IM GLAD YOURE HAPPY THOUGH. THIS IS A PRETTY BIG BREAK FOR YOU. YOU DESERVE IT. (:B

[email protected] sent to [email protected] 5 AM 01/27/15:

OKAY IM KIND OF FREAKING THE FUCK OUT HERE

THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST YOU HEAR FROM ME AND IM REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT

BUT I THINK

I THINK A GROUP OF THOSE HEMOANON HUNTERS MUST HAVE GOTTEN TIPPED OFF THAT IM HERE

I KEEP SEEING THEM TRAIPSING AROUND THE FUCKING HIVEBLOCK LOOKING FOR SOMETHING

THEY CULLED SOME POOR RUSTBLOOD A FEW HIVES DOWN YESTERDAY ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THEY FIND ME

THE LEADERS FUCKING HUGE I DONT STAND A CHANCE HERE

GOODBYE I GUESS

[email protected] sent to [email protected] 2 PM 01/27/15:

Karkat You Are Not Going To Die Okay

We Will Get You Out Of There

Hold On I Am Having Sollux Open A Chat Room And We Can Talk About This In Closer To Real Time There

— twinArmageddons [TA] opened a group chat at 2:22 PM 01/27/15 —

— twinArmageddons [TA] invited grimAuxilitrix [GA] —

— twinArmageddons [TA] invited carcinoGeneticist [CG] —

— twinArmageddons [TA] invited gallowsCallibrator [GC] —

TA: alriight ju2t real quiick before everybody 2tart2 2houtiing off rapiid fiire liike ii know you all fuckiing love two, plea2e keep iin miind KK ii2 liiterally liightyear2 away and iit ii2 goiing two take a few miinute2 for hii2 me22age2 two reach u2 and vice ver2a.

TA: 2o let2 all at lea2t try two pretend we arent a bunch of iimpatiient fuckiing bulge fondler2 okay?

GC: 1 M4K3 NO PROM1S3S >:]

CG: OH YEAH SURE LETS ALL JUST BE TOTALLY FUCKING PATIENT ITS NOT LIKE IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE ANY MINUTE HERE OR ANYTHING

CG: NO OMINOUS DANGER LURKING IN THE SHADOWS OR ANYTHING NOPE

CG: JUST ME AND MY NEW FUCKING BEST FRIENDS WHO ALL WANT ME DEAD

TA: KK calm the fuck down were tryiing two help you here.

GA: Karkat We Can Get You Out Of There I Promise

CG: GET ME TO WHERE EXACTLY? EARTH?

CG: OH YEAH SURE LETS JUST GO TO THE FUCKING ALIEN PLANET

CG: EVEN IF I HAD ANY INTENTION OF GOING THERE HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO PULL THAT OFF?

CG: IF I SHOW UP AT THAT SPACE PORT THEYRE GOING TO FIGURE ME OUT IMMEDIATELY AND SOMEONES GOING TO CULL ME IN A FUCKING LOAD GAPER STALL

TA: dont fuckiing iin2ult me KK, god, why do you thiink iim here?

TA: KN may not know what 2he2 doiing, but TZ can open a fuckiing chat room.

GA: Hey

TA: 2o iit2 not liike iim ju2t here to get u2 all talkiing.

TA: iim forgiing you 2ome documentatiion a2 we 2peak, a2 far a2 everyone at the 2paceport wiill know you are ju2t another de2perate ru2tblood a22hole lookiing for a break.

CG: OH.

GC: 4ND 1 4M PR3P4R3D TO H3LP YOU OUT W1TH TH3 P4P3RWORK ON TH3 34RTH S1DE OF TH1NGS ONC3 YOU G3T H3R3 >:]

GA: As For Where You Will Go Once Here Porrims Offer Still Stands

GA: You Will Have A Place To Stay If You Are Okay With Doing Some Rather Simple Work

CG: OH GOD. WHAT AM I DOING, MODELING DRESSES?

CG: FANTASTIC. ILL JUST LEAVE HOME AND BE A FUCKING FASHION MODEL. LIVING THE DREAM HERE ARENT I!

CG: ON SECOND THOUGHT IM JUST GOING TO LET THE FUCKING HUNTERS CULL ME.

GA: No

GA: Its Just A Desk Job Karkat

GA: Mostly It Will Involve Sitting Around And Very Occasionally Handling The Money

GA: She Wants You To Work The Cash Register It Is A Very Simple Job

CG: THE WHAT?

GA: I Will Show You When You Get Here

CG: I DONT RECALL EVER FUCKING AGREEING TO THIS CRAZY SCHEME. I STILL HAVE NO FUCKING INTENTION OF GOING TO EARTH LIKE A COWARD.

TA: fiine diie then.

GC: HON3STLY K4RK4T

GC: YOU 4R3 B31NG A HUG3 WR1GGL3R 4BOUT TH1S

GC: DO YOU R34LLY H4V3 4NY B3TT3R 1D34S H3R3? 34RTH 1S YOUR B3ST B3T R1GHT NOW.

GC: 1TS W4Y L3SS HOST1L3 TOW4RD TROLLS 1N YOUR S1TU4T1ON, MOSTLY B3C4US3 HUM4NS DONT R34LLY G3T TH3 H3MOSP3CTRUM TO B3G1N W1TH.

GC: 1TS NOT A TH1NG FOR TH3M 4T 4LL.

GC: 4ND YOUV3 GOT FR13NDS H3R3 WHO C4N H3LP YOU, 4S 1N, YOU KNOW, TH3 ON3S YOU 4R3 T4LK1NG TO R1GHT NOW???

GC: WH3R34S ON 4LT3RN14 YOU 4R3 ON YOUR OWN.

CG: FUCK.

CG: I DONT REALLY HAVE A CHOICE, DO I?

GC: NOP3

GA: Not Really

TA: no.

CG: GOD DAMMIT.

CG: ALRIGHT, JUST.

CG: TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO.

GA: You Will Want To Pack Everything You Want To Take With You

GA: Things Like Clothing And So On You Can Easily Replace Once You Get Here So I Wouldnt Worry About That As Much But Make Sure You Bring Everything You Really Cant Replace

GC: K33P 1T TO TWO B4GS THOUGH

GC: 1T SUCKS BUT TH4TS 4LL W3 COULD 4FFORD

CG: YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR BAGS??

CG: WAIT. YOU GUYS ARE PAYING FOR THIS?

GA: Do Not Try To Argue With Us On This Please Karkat We Have Been Preparing For This For A While

CG: OH SO YOU FUCKERS WERE ALL JUST WAITING FOR ME TO BOARD THE COWARD TRAIN, WERE YOU?

CG: GO ON. WHO WON THE FUCKING BET? WHICH ONE OF YOU GUYS MADE BIG BUCKS OFF MY FINAL ADMISSION OF DEFEAT?

GA: No One Was Taking Bets We Just Wanted To Be Prepared Just In Case

TA: ii totally wanted two bet on how long iit would be but KN had two be a fuckiing buzzkiill.

GA: Sollux Can We Not Do This Now

GC: UUUUUGH

GC: K4RK4T STOP WH4T3V3R HUG3 R4NT YOU JUST ST4RT3D TYP1NG 4ND L3T US F1N1SH 3XPL41N1NG SH1T TO YOU SO W3 C4N M4K3 SUR3 YOU DONT D13

GC: 1 ST1LL H4V3 SOM3 FR13NDS PL4N3TS1D3

GC: 1M T4LK1NG TO VR1SK4 NOW

CG: PLEASE TELL ME THIS ENTIRE PLAN DOESNT HINGE ON VRISKA.

GC: SH3 H4S PROM1S3D TO B3H4V3

GC: 4ND 1F SH3 DO3S NOT, T3LL M3 WH3N YOU G3T TO 34RTH 4ND 1 W1LL D34L W1TH H3R

GC: 4NYW4Y SH3 W1LL B3 OUTS1D3 YOUR H1VE 1N TWO HOURS TO P1CK YOU UP 4ND G1V3 YOU SOLLUX’S 1LLEG4L DOCUM3NT4T1ON

GC: SH3 W1LL DROP YOU OFF A D1SCR33T D1ST4NC3 FROM TH3 SP4C3PORT SO 4S TO 4VO1D SUSP1C1ON

GC: TH3 WORK3RS 4T TH3 PORT W1LL PO1NT YOU TO TH3 SH1P YOU N33D TO BO4RD

GC: ONC3 YOUR3 ON TH3 SH1P YOU 4R3 PR3TTY MUCH HOM3 FR33

GA: I Will Be Waiting For You In Houston

GA: It Will Take A Few Days For You To Get Here Of Course But I Will Meet You When You Arrive

GC: 4ND L1K3 1 S41D 1 W1LL H3LP YOU D34L W1TH TH3 HUM4NS P4P3RWORK

GC: 1 H4D TO D34L W1TH 1T ON MY OWN 4ND TH3N H3LP BOTH K4N4Y4 4ND SOLLUX F1GUR3 TH31RS OUT

GC: SO B3TW33N 4LL TH4T 4ND MY LIN3 OF WORK 1 4M PR3TTY MUCH 4N 3XP3RT >:]

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS HOUSTON.

GA: Oh

GA: Houston Is The City Where The Spaceship Lands

GA: And Also Where Porrims Shop Is And Therefore Where You Will Be Living

GA: At Least Until You Are Adjusted Enough To Earth To Decide If You Want To Do Something Else I Suppose

GC: Y34H HUM4NS PUT 4 PR3TTY B1G D34L ON N4M1NG PL4C3S

GC: YOU G3T US3D TO 1T PR3TTY QU1CKLY

CG: OKAY.

CG: OKAY I THINK I CAN DO THIS.

CG: IM GONNA START PACKING.

GA: See You In A Few Days

GC: GOOD LUCK >:]

TA: later KK.

—twinArmageddons [TA] closed the chat room —

#homestuck #karkat vantas #kanaya maryam #terezi pyrope #sollux captor #longpost #fanfiction #fanfic #calmvsstormfic #calmvsstormchapter #katt does a writing #LAST PROLOGUE I PROMISE WERE ON THE REAL STORY NOW

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gulescamisade · 8 years

Text

[[ When Redglare wakes, she is in a restored version of Terezi's forest. It is third autumn and pink leaves fall like snow, blanketing the ground completely. It is soft enough to walk barefoot. The breeze is light, the air is warm, and the sun is high, but there is enough cover in the canopy above her to prevent burns. All in all, it is a beautiful day. ]]

REDGLARE: -She has endured some serious pain over the years. She knows what it's going to be like-- so it surprises her when she awakens to nothing. No pain. She climbs to her feet, slowly-- feet, plural, still, somehow-- testing her wings with a few careful flutters.-

REDGLARE: -She exhales softly and begins to walk, no particular destination in mind. It's... pleasant, really. There are worse places to wind up. Worse dreams to have.-

[[ The forest is alive with sound. Songbirds chirp and flit from the ground to the branches high above, and Redglare can hear the bubbling of a stream flowing nearby. Through the foliage though, there is a shock of white against the array of color. ]]

TEREZI: =Her pants are rolled up to her knees with her white uniform jacket tied around her waist. She's squatting on the bank and staring into the water, barefoot with her back to Redglare.=

REDGLARE: -She stops, a moment, breath hitched. She approaches quietly, sitting down at the side of the river, beside her.-

REDGLARE: 1t's. N1c3 h3r3.

TEREZI: =A smile spread wide as she glanced over at her= 1D L1K3 TO TH1NK TH1S 1S WH4T 1T W1LL LOOK L1K3 WH3N 1T GROWS B4CK

TEREZI: N3W L1F3...

TEREZI: =she sniffed, her face falling a fraction=

TEREZI: HOW 4R3 YOU? YOUR3 NOT...D34D TOO, 4R3 YOU?

REDGLARE: 1 4m c3rt41n 1'm dr34m1ng.

REDGLARE: But 1'm not sur3 how r34l th1s 1s.

REDGLARE: 1 n3v3r h4d to qu3st1on how r34l th1ngs w3r3 b3for3.

REDGLARE: 1 f3ll unconsc1ous. 1 h4d to—

REDGLARE: -Winces as she feels the echo of an unbearable pain. Just briefly, and just an echo.-

REDGLARE: 1-- do not th1nk 1 should r3m3mb3r y3t.

TEREZI: TH3N DONT

TEREZI: 1 D1DNT R3M3MB3R R1GHT 4W4Y

TEREZI: =she glanced down at the water to the tadpoles swimming in a shallow pool that had naturally been made by a small branch, protecting them from the current of the stream.=

TEREZI: 1 C4N 34T TH1NGS, 1 C4N HOLD TH1NGS, 1 C4N T4LK TO P3OPL3, 1 C4N TOUCH TH3M

TEREZI: =she put a hand on Redglare's shoulder=

TEREZI: 1 CONS1D3R 1T R34L, BUT...

TEREZI: BUT SOM3T1M3S 1M NOT SUR3 1F 1TS R34LLY M3 H3R3 1N 4 PL4C3 WH3R3 TH3 DR34M1NG 4ND TH3-- =She paused and chewed at her lip= --TH3 D34D C4N CO1NC1D3

TEREZI: OR 1F 1TS 4 PL4C3 WH3R3 TH3 M1ND C4N COP3

TEREZI: M4YB3 1TS BOTH? 1 DONT KNOW

TEREZI: 1 DONT R34LLY UND3RST4ND 1T

TEREZI: =she glanced up at Redglare again= 1 W4S 4LW4YS MOR3 OF 4 SK3PT1C =she laughed, a little helplessly=

REDGLARE: 1 c4n't bl4m3 you.

REDGLARE: M4yb3 1t's just...

REDGLARE: -her smile is sad, but sincere.-

REDGLARE: good to s33 you 4g41n.

REDGLARE: 1'm sorry. 1'm sorry 4bout wh4t h4pp3n3d.

TEREZI: =Her smile grew wider but soon her white eyes filled with tears and she turned her head to wipe them away. Her voice was heavy, like she was holding it all back.=

TEREZI: DONT B3

TEREZI: 1T W4S COM1NG

TEREZI: NOT S4Y1NG 1 W4SNT SURPR1S3D WH3N 1T H4PP3N3D

TEREZI: 1 JUST—

TEREZI: SH3S.... =her voice hitched and she waited to steady it= SH3S W4NT3D M3 D34D FOR QU1T3 SOM3 T1M3

TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT 1 COULD 4VO1D H3R FOR TH3 R3ST OF MY L1F3

TEREZI: BUT 1T JUST GO3S TO SHOW

TEREZI: NO ON3 C4N RUN FOR3V3R

REDGLARE: M4yb3 not.

REDGLARE: Sh3's mor3 v1c1ous th4n 1 r3m3mb3r.

REDGLARE: 4nd d4ng3rous.

REDGLARE: Your old fr13nds—

REDGLARE: Th3y'r3 h3lp1ng us g3t out 4l1v3.

REDGLARE: Sh3 w4s go1ng to just l34v3 us to d13.

TEREZI: 4 S4F3 B3T FOR S4LS4RS R34SON1NG ON TH4T W4S TO L3T YOU 4LL SUFF3R N1C3 4ND SLOW

TEREZI: =Terezi's lip curled= JUST1C3, 4ND 4LL TH4T

TEREZI: 1M SURPR1S3D SH3 D1DNT DO 4NYTH1NG WORS3

TEREZI: TH3 HORROR STOR13S W3 W3R3 TOLD 4T TH3 L34GU3 4BOUT WH4T H4PP3N3D TO TH3 TROLL WHO BROK3 OFF TH3 TIP OF H3R HORN...

TEREZI: =she laughed mirthlessly when her team was mentioned and placed her face in her hands=

TEREZI: GR34T

TEREZI: TH4T M34NS SH3 KNOWS TH3YR3 H3LP1NG, 4ND 1F SH3 DO3SNT 1T WONT T4K3 H3R LONG TO F1ND OUT

TEREZI: SH3 KNOWS 3V3RYTH1NG

TEREZI: YOU SHOULD 4LL PUT 1N 4S MUCH D1ST4NC3 4S YOU C4N

TEREZI: SH3'LL B3 4FT3R TH3M

TEREZI: 4FT3R TH3 CR3W

TEREZI: 1TLL 3MB4RR4SS H3R, KNOW1NG YOUV3 3SC4P3D

TEREZI: SH3 C4NT H4V3 TH4T

TEREZI: =By now, Terezi had glanced up at Redglare once more. She said nothing, but her expression was enough: she was scared for everyone.=

REDGLARE: 1'm sur3.

REDGLARE: 1 just w4nt3d you to know.

REDGLARE: W3'r3 4l1v3.

REDGLARE: W1th luck, w3'll st4y th4t w4y.

REDGLARE: For 4 mom3nt 1 w4s r34lly r34dy for 1t to b3 ov3r.

TEREZI: =She can't hide her relief and hunched over herself. If her breathing wasn't hitched before, it sure is now.=

TEREZI: 1 W4S R34LLY HOP1NG...NO ON3 3LS3...

TEREZI: 1 H4DNT S33N 4NYON3 3LS3, SO 1 W4S HOP1NG—

TEREZI: =The final part sent a chill up Terezi's spine and she was briefly scared to silence, unable to bring anything to mind.=

TEREZI: 1M SORRY

TEREZI: 1M TH3 ON3 WHO SHOULD B3 SORRY

TEREZI: 1F 1 K1LL3D H3R WH3N 1 H4D TH3 CH4NC3, SH3 WOULDNT H4V3 DON3 TH1S TO 4NY OF YOU

REDGLARE: Don't bl4m3 yours3lf.

REDGLARE: -She looks down at herself-- at her body. At her leg, still healthy and whole.-

REDGLARE: Th1s 1sn't 4 pl4c3 for r3gr3t.

REDGLARE: 1'v3 comm1tt3d my cr1m3s. W3 4ll h4v3. W3 know wh4t w3'r3 1n for, now.

REDGLARE: Th3r3's 4lw4ys go1ng to b3 som3on3 l1k3 h3r unt1l w3 t34r th3 3mp1r3 out 4t 1ts roots.

REDGLARE: M4yb3 w3'll h4v3 4 ch4nc3 to f1ght.

REDGLARE: F1nd th3 oth3rs.

TEREZI: Y34H...CR1M3S =she can hardly stand the taste of the word on her tongue= TH3 3MP1R3S D3F1N1T1ON OF 1T 1S 4 L1TTL3 SK3W3D

TEREZI: 1 HOP3 YOU GUYS DO F1ND TH3M

TEREZI: 1 HOP3 YOU W1N TH1S

TEREZI: 1 DONT W4NT 3V3RYTH1NG W3 W3NT THROUGH B3 FOR NOTH1NG

REDGLARE: -She smiles at her, faintly.-

REDGLARE: 1 4m go1ng to m1ss you.

REDGLARE: 1 c4n sp3nd t1m3 w1th s1r1us. 1 know sh3'll h4v3 4 h4rd t1m3, but sh3-- Sh3's 4 sm4rt ch1ld. 1 don't w4nt you to th1nk sh3 won't b3 1n good h4nds.

TEREZI: W3LL... =she shrugged, smiling= 1 WONT B3 F4R

TEREZI: YOU'D DO TH4T? SH-SH3 3NJOYS YOUR COMP4NY

TEREZI: 1 B3L13V3 1T, BUT W1TH M4NY OTH3RS 4ROUND H3R WHO LOV3 H3R...SH3'LL B3 4LL R1GHT

TEREZI: SH3....

TEREZI: =She'd been holding herself together pretty well up until that point, but not any longer. She trembled then began to cry, the tears trailing freely down her cheeks.=

TEREZI: 1 D1DNT W4NT TO GO

REDGLARE: -She frowns. It's hard to take in-- hard to see. She reaches towards her, pulling her into a tight embrace.-

REDGLARE: 1-- REDGLARE: 1 know.

REDGLARE: 1 c4n't s4y 4nyth1ng to m4k3 th1s ok4y.

REDGLARE: 1t shouldn't h4v3 b33n you.

TEREZI: =The arms around her feel so real and Terezi hugged Redglare back with just as much strength. It shouldn't have been her? Better her than anyone else. It still didn't make it hurt less.=

TEREZI: 1 W4NT3D TO ST4Y, 1 TR13D

TEREZI: 1 W1SH 1 COULD B3 TH3R3 W1TH 4LL OF YOU

REDGLARE: -She sniffles, squeezing her even tighter, a tear rolling down her cheek. She nods, wordless. It is real. It's far too real, and it hurts more than she can fathom.-

TEREZI: =Being held this way, Terezi could almost dare to think she hadn't died at all. But it was the truth no matter how either of them wished otherwise. She didn't want to, but she eventually broke from the hug, slowly pushing herself from Redglare, from bringing her hands down to hold Talula's.=

TEREZI: C4N YOU DO M3 4 F4VOR WH3N TH1S W4R 1S OV3R? C4N YOU V1S1T COLL4 FROM T1M3 TO T1M3?

TEREZI: SH3...F3LT M3 GO

REDGLARE: -She blinks. Oh. Oh...-

REDGLARE: Of-- of cours3.

REDGLARE: You c4n 4sk 4nyth1ng of m3.

TEREZI: =she looks like she's about to cry again, but she pressed her lips together to hold it in.=

TEREZI: C4N YOU T3LL TH3 OTH-- [[ In the middle of her sentence, Terezi poofed, disappearing from the dreambubble entirely. ]]

REDGLARE: -Flinches. She's gone? SHE'S GONE??? Her arms are suddenly wrapped around nothing and nothing seems okay. She tries to push herself up to her feet, shouting.- T3r3z1??? -She yells, but things are wrong. A sudden, mind-numbing pain floods her mind. The world around her swims. Everything shifts with a start as her eye flies open.-

---

REDGLARE: -it is some time, at least by Redglare's perspective, that she appears again. Laying back on the ground by the river with her eyes... eye... open. One leg, a covered with gauze and the leg of her pants tied to cover the stump. Dreaming, again. She's almost grateful to be here again, despite the pangs in her chest.-

TEREZI: =pops into view=

TEREZI: WH3R3 D1D YOU GO??

TEREZI: W3LL 1M 4SSUM1NG YOU WOK3 UP...

TEREZI: TH4TS PROB4BLY WH4T H4PP3N3D H3H3

REDGLARE: 1-- 1 w4s go1ng to 4sk you.

TEREZI: WH4T?

REDGLARE: you d1s4pp34r3d. 1 p4n1ck3d.

TEREZI: 1...1 D1D? WH3N?

REDGLARE: -She lets out a weak laugh.-

REDGLARE: Don't 3xp3ct 1'm 1n 4ny st4t3 to t3ll you th3 t1m3.

REDGLARE: 1t w4s... Som3wh4t 4l4rm1ng.

TEREZI: OH HRK W3LL

TEREZI: 1LL TRY NOT TO DO 1T 4G41N? 1 DONT KNOW WH4T H4PP3N3D

TEREZI: ON3 M1NUT3 YOU W3R3 TH3R3 TH3N YOU W3R3 GON3 TEREZI: BUT 1F YOU S4Y 1 D1S4PP34R3D F1RST, 1 B3L13V3 YOU

TEREZI: TH1S DR34MBUBBL3 STUFF 1S ON3 OF TH3 W31RD3ST TH1NGS 1V3 3V3R S33N—

TEREZI: =her eyes travel down Redglare's leg...or where it's supposed to be and she pales=

TEREZI: TH4T...

TEREZI: WH...

TEREZI: =she's down on the ground beside her now, helping her sit up=

TEREZI: =She's crying again, whoops= TEREZI: WH4T H4PP3N3D?

REDGLARE: -She looks down... expression turning a bit wry. The fact that her mind is in such a dreamy state like this always makes it easier...-

REDGLARE: 1t w4s 1nf3ct3d.

REDGLARE: Too long. H4d to b3 r3mov3d.

REDGLARE: 1t w4s qu1ck, 4t l34st.

TEREZI: =The deja vu is not lost to her and she can't help but continue taking sideways glances at the stump.=

TEREZI: T4LUL4, 1M SO SORRY

TEREZI: 1F 1 K1LL3D H3R, NON3 OF TH1S WOULD H4V3 H4PP3N3D

TEREZI: >:'[

REDGLARE: -Another weak laugh.- S41d th4t 4lr34dy, you know. 1 m4d3 4 cho1c3 to k33p f1ght1ng.

TEREZI: > 8'(

TEREZI: 1TS 1N OUR BLOOD TO DO TH4T

TEREZI: NON3 OF TH3 UU L1K3 BOW1NG TO 4LT3RN14N 4UTHOR1TY V3RY MUCH

REDGLARE: H4. No. 1t's h4rd to r3s1st.

TEREZI: =she wiped away her tears again=

TEREZI: SORRY 1M JUST...

TEREZI: CRY1NG 4LL TH3 T1M3 4PP4R3NTLY

TEREZI: TH4T S33MS TO B3 MY TH1NG NOW!

REDGLARE: Just...

REDGLARE: s1t w1th m3. REDGLARE: 1 w4nt to 3njoy th1s.

TEREZI: =she blinked at Redglare, wringing her hands. She slowly sank among the leaves, sitting down next to her dear friend. Leaning back on her hands, a twitch of a smile returned to her face.=

REDGLARE: -She reaches over, silently, taking her hand and squeezing it.-

TEREZI: =She shifted so that their arms were looped and wove their fingers together, returning the squeeze.=

TEREZI: 1M GL4D W3 M3T

REDGLARE: 1 4m, too.

REDGLARE: 1 c4n't b3l13v3 1t, st1ll...

TEREZI: WH1CH P4RT?

REDGLARE: -SNORTS- Most of 1t.

REDGLARE: Go1ng to k1ll th3 3mpr3ss. D1dn't gu3ss th4t wh3n 1 s1gn3d up to b3 4 jun1or off1c3r.

TEREZI: =laughs=

TEREZI: 1 W4S SHOCK3D 1 GOT TH3 JOB

TEREZI FR3SH OUT OF SCHOOL1NG

TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT TH3Y W3R3 TH3Y OUT OF TH31R M1NDS H1R1NG M3, BUT 1 W4SNT GO1NG TO COMPL41N

TEREZI: THOUGHT 1 W4S 1N FOR 4 BOR1NG, P34C3FUL L1F3

TEREZI: =snickers=

REDGLARE: 1t c3rt41nly h4sn't b33n bor1ng.

REDGLARE: -She closes her eyes.-

REDGLARE: but 1t 1s... p34c3ful h3r3.

REDGLARE: 1t'd b3 n1c3, 1 suppos3.

REDGLARE: Som3 t1m3 to f1n4lly br34th3.

TEREZI: 1TS WH3R3 1 W3NT 4FT3R

TEREZI: 1TS...1T W4S ST1LL MY HOM3

TEREZI: 1T W4S S4F3 4ND B34UT1FUL 4ND C4LM

TEREZI: 1T ST1LL W4S, 3V3N WH3N 1 THOUGHT 1 FORGOT WH4T 1T LOOK3D L1K3

REDGLARE: 1 l1k3 1t h3r3.

REDGLARE: m4yb3 1'll f1nd 1t. Wh3n 4ll of th1s 1s ov3r...

TEREZI: =clears her throat as her shoulders droop= W3LL NOT TO B3 4 DOWN3R, BUT 1T BURN3D TO THE GROUND TH3 N1GHT W3 GOT CHRYSOCOLL4 OUT

TEREZI: 1 GROOBL3 4LT3RN14'3D 1T

TEREZI: 1D L1K3 TO TH1NK 1TS GROW1NG B4CK

TEREZI: L1K3 US

TEREZI: W3 GROW B4CK =She turned to look at Redglare= W3 W1LL GROW B4CK, YOU KNOW

TEREZI: no m4tt3r wh4t th3y do to us

REDGLARE: 1 l1k3 th3 thought of 1t.

TEREZI: Y34H....

TEREZI: TH1S WONT 3ND US =she squeezed her hand= NOT UNL3SS W3 L3T 1T

#in which terezi has a visitor #gladiateCarnifex

0 notes

taciteaneremite · 8 years

Text

TE: *since they got settled into their new place, colt's either been lounging around enjoying all this space and quiet... or running around in the woods enjoying all the space and quiet. right now he is doing the former, huddled up in the living room watching animated horse movies.*

TE: *he is at peace...*

PH: -leeeans over his back-

PH: -leeeeans towards his face-

PH: -presses RIGHT up into his cheek-

PH: s34b1scu1ts sound l1k3 gros fod

TE: ... *side eyes* Hey... Seabiscuit is a hero...

PH: why would 4nyon3 34t 4 s34b1scu1t >:O

PH: 1s 1t m4d3 of KR3LP

PH: -She ROLLS OVER THE COUCH and flops across his lap-

TE: You wouldn't... Because Seabiscuit is a horse. *pets her hair*

TE: And horses ain't for eatin'.

PH: would you STOP m3 from 34t1ng 4 hors3 ? ? ?

TE: Of course I would... That's just the way it's gotta be...

PH: WOW

PH: TH1S M4R14G3 1S 4 SH4M >:O

PH: 1m 4low3d to 34t 3V3RY m4m4l

PH: oth3rw1s3 wh4ts th3 po1nt ! ! !

TE: I'd like to think there's plenty of other things that matter a lil more. :P

PH: 3V3RY

PH: M4M4L

PH: 1m 34t1ng for two >:O

TE: ...

TE: No you are not.

PH: WOW

PH: TW1C3 1N ON3 N1GHT !

PH: i c4not 3v3n b3l13v3 you

TE: You know I'm a stick in the mud. *pats her tum*

PH: w3l 1M gon4 b3 your sug4r m4m4 from now on

PH: so you b3t3r g3t us3d to TH4T

TE: Oh? *peeps at her in interest* Did you get yourself fixed up with some work?

PH: y3

PH: 1 m3t 4 b1g rock

PH: w3 h4d 4 l1tl3 t4lk or wh4t3v3r

PH: you know how 1t go

PH: 1 ch4rm3d 4L h3r qu4rtz3s 4nd sh1t >:p

TE: ... Sure. That's about how these things go.

TE: What are you gonna be doing?

PH: noth1ng to d1f3r3nt >:T

PH: 1m not sur3 WH4T 1m gon4 b3 run1ng y3t but th3y n3d m3 to c4ry stuf 4nd 1 told 3m 1l b3 work1ng from h3r3 4nd 1 got my own sh1p

PH: s1nc3 not 3v3ry pl4n3ts got 4 f4ncy r3l4y y3t

TE: *nods as he listens* Well, that's good anyways...

TE: I'm thinkin' I'd still like to do somethin' here... *even if he doesn't necessarily have to... sometimes he forgets about his family's IMMEASURABLE WEALTH.*

TE: But while I'm figurin' that out, maybe I could tag along with you whenever you head out?

PH: w3l th3r3s gon4 b3 rom 4nd stuf >:p

PH: 4nd th3 f1rst job 1snt 3v3n 4l th4t f4r

PH: 1ts pr3ty much th3 n3xt pl4n3t ov3r !

TE: Oh, ok. Then I'll definitely tag along.

PH: h3 h3 h3 h3

PH: m4yb3 you c4n g3t som3 work from wh4ts h3r but to n3xt t1m3 1 s3 h3r

PH: l3t YOU g3t 4l prod3d 4t th1s t1m3 >:p

TE: Mmnn... Maybe... *makes a face. would he literally be prodded? any kind of prodding is bad prodding though.*

PH: d4w h3y

PH: 4t l34st 1 w4rn3d you

TE: Yeah. Thank you for that. *pokes at her side*

PH: -SQUIRM-

PH: you know

PH: 1ts k1nd4 n1c3 sl3p1ng on th3 sh1p som3t1m3s

PH: you n3v3r s3 th3 s4m3 st4rs

PH: 1 th1nk youd l1k3 1t

TE: *smiles, brushing his fingers along her cheek* Yeah... I think I would too.

PH: -LIL NIP AT HIS FINGERS but slow enough... she wants to give him a chance, after all.-

PH: so um

PH: wh4t would you w4n4 do ?

PH: 1 m34n

PH: 1 gu3s 1 k1nd4 kn3w but

PH: 1t w4snt r34ly 34sy f1gur1ng th4t out >:T

TE: Pff. *the lightest of nose flicks for biting at him.*

TE: I don't got a clue, to be honest...

TE: I liked... volunteerin' at the wildlife preserve, though. Reckon I could get used to doin' things like that. *but naturally he doesn't seem super confident about it.*

PH: w3l you could try 1 m34n

PH: why not ? ? ?

PH: th4t b1g f4t b1rd th1ng l1k3d you >:p

TE: Heh... I liked him too... :')

PH: h4 h4 los3r >;p

TE: Guess I'll uh... Consider my options.

TE: ... Which might be easier if I talked to this "rock lady."

TE: Mmrrg. We'll see.

PH: sh3s n1c3 sh3 just

PH: knows to much >:o

PH: 1 th1nk you should

TE: *of course she does... such a supportive wife. he smiles about it and leans over her to kiss on her face once or twice.*

TE: Alright, fine.

PH: >:3

PH: ok13

PH: -she squirms and rolls onto her side- 1 w4n4 know

PH: 4l of th3 th1ngs 4bout th1s hors3 >:o

PH: -she points at the screen-

TE: *shiny eyed... HE HAS A LOT TO SAY ABOUT SEABISCUIT.*

#prowlinghalfstep #in which space truckin come on

0 notes

dragontales413 · 10 years

Text

TUMBLR US3R VOL3US3 1S 4 HUG3 DUMBDUMB 4ND 1M TOT4LLY NOT!!!!

#TH3R3!!!#4ND 1 4CC3PT YOUR CH4LL3NG3 M1NDF4NG!#L3TS GO H3R3 4ND NOW!!#voleuse #PS 1 T4GG3D YOU

0 notes

pesterloglog · 7 months

Text

Terezi Pyrope, John Egbert, Gamzee Makara, Eridan Ampora, Feferi Peixes, Roxy Lalonde, Calliope

Candy, page 22

TEREZI: H3Y JOHN

TEREZI: T1M3 FOR YOUR R3GUL4R CH3CKUP H3H3H3

JOHN: oh. hey.

TEREZI: “OH H3Y”

TEREZI: PR3TTY T3P1D R3C3PT1ON FROM 4 GUY WHO H4S 1N TH3 P4ST B3GG3D D3SP3R4T3LY FOR 3V3N 4 SCR4P OF MY 4TT3NT1ON

JOHN: i’m glad to hear from you. it’s just... i dunno, a lot’s happened recently.

JOHN: i’m sort of numb from all of it.

TEREZI: SO T3LL M3 4BOUT 1T

JOHN: what are you my therapist now?

TEREZI: NO 1M JUST 4 S1MPL3 G1RL WHO LOV3S TH3 T4ST3 OF YOUR SUFF3R1NG

TEREZI: 1M SO HUNGRY OUT H3R3 4LON3 1N P4R4DOX SP4C3 JOHN

TEREZI: PL34S3 NOUR1SH M3 W1TH YOUR P4TH3T1C M1DL1FE 3NNU1

JOHN: it’s not midlife ennui!

JOHN: i’m not even thirty yet, come on.

JOHN: also... um.

JOHN: i’m married? so... yeah.

TEREZI: LOL

TEREZI: WH4T DO3S TH4T H4V3 TO DO W1TH 4NYTH1NG

JOHN: err...

JOHN: nevermind.

JOHN: so what’s up with you?

TEREZI: OH S4M3 OLD S4M3 OLD

TEREZI: WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG R1GHT NOW

JOHN: oh. i’m at harry anderson’s birthday party.

TEREZI: SOUNDS 1MPORT4NT

TEREZI: M4YB3 1 SHOULD L3T YOU GO TH3N

JOHN: no!

JOHN: i mean... it’s fine. i can talk for a bit.

TEREZI: 4ND L34V3 H4RRY 4ND3RSON H4NG1NG?

TEREZI: WOW 3GB3RT

TEREZI: YOUD TH1NK 4N 3LD3RLY M4N L1K3 YOU WOULD KNOW MOR3 4BOUT D3CORUM TH4N M3, 4 ROWDY YOUTH!

JOHN: harry anderson is basically just a baby who doesn’t understand anything.

JOHN: a baby, kind of like YOU.

TEREZI: >:]

TEREZI: SO WHOS H4RRY 4ND3RSON?

JOHN: oh! that’s me and roxy’s son.

TEREZI: OH COOL H3 GOT BORN

JOHN: yeah terezi. he got born like three years ago.

TEREZI: 1TS B33N TH4T LONG?

TEREZI: WOW

JOHN: yeah, wow is right. where the hell have you been?

TEREZI: LOST

JOHN: lost... how?

JOHN: like literally, physically lost?

JOHN: or metaphorically lost.

TEREZI: BOTH 1 GU3SS

JOHN: terezi...

TEREZI: OH NO

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3 US3 P1TY1NG 3LL1PS3S 4T M3 JOHN 3GB3RT

JOHN: sorry! it’s kinda hard not to when every time you go i have no idea if i’ll ever talk to you again.

TEREZI: OK YOUR3 OBV1OUSLY NOT 1N 4 PL4C3 TO T4LK R1GHT NOW

TEREZI: 1 D1DNT CONT4CT YOU B3C4US3 1 W4NT3D TO D34L W1TH YOUR W33PY S3P4R4T1ON ANX13TY

TEREZI: HOW 4BOUT 1 M4K3 TH1S 34SY FOR YOU 4ND JUST LOG OFF

JOHN: no, please don’t go!

JOHN: i’m sorry for being all... human and weepy.

JOHN: i’m actually in a pretty ok place for once, i think?

TEREZI: C4LM DOWN 1 W4SNT F1N1SH3D

TEREZI: L1ST3N... 1LL T3XT YOU B4CK 1N F1V3 M1NUT3S

TEREZI: TH4TLL G1V3 YOU SOM3 T1M3 TO 3MOT1ON4LLY PROC3SS THE H4RROW1NG 3XP3R13NC3 OF 4CTU4LLY H34R1NG FROM M3 4G41N >:]

JOHN: promise me it’ll only be five minutes?

TEREZI: WHY?

JOHN: because i worry about you!

JOHN: i just don’t want you to leave me hanging for another year, making me wonder if you’re dead.

JOHN: please??

TEREZI: UGH!

TEREZI: F1N3

TEREZI: 1 H3R3BY SOL3MNLY SW34R UPON TH3 BOOK OF DUMB N33DY LOS3RS TH4T 1 W1LL T3XT YOU 1N *3X4CTLY* F1V3 M1NUT3S

JOHN: whew. THANK you!

TEREZI: OK 1TS F1V3 M1NUT3S L4T3R

TEREZI: DONT T3LL M3 4NOTH3R TWO SW33PS H4V3 P4SS3D

JOHN: nah, just a couple of weeks.

JOHN: oh boy, what a couple of weeks though.

JOHN: you would NOT believe what’s happening right now.

TEREZI: H4V3 1 3V3R NOT B3L13V3D WH4T W4S H4PP3N1NG WH3N YOU S41D 1 WOULDNT?

JOHN: no, but to be fair this one is especially wild.

JOHN: here wait, let me take a picture.

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “ghostrain.jpg” --

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FUCK

JOHN: it started a few days ago. the sky above the capital of the troll kingdom just cracked open and ghosts began raining down everywhere.

JOHN: actually, now that i think about it, i guess it started three years ago when a dead teen version of jade fell from the sky and crashed into the ground during a picnic.

TEREZI: HUH

JOHN: that only affected our group though. this whole thing with the troll ghosts has been a *huge* international incident.

JOHN: the political situation surrounding trolls was already tense enough without adding a gigantic population of immigrant ghost trolls to the mix.

TEREZI: W41T, WH4T H4PP3N3D?

JOHN: um, well... because of what we know about alternian history...

JOHN: the government decided it was probably a bad idea to let trolls reproduce freely, especially considering how different our planet is from alternia.

TEREZI: 1 SUPPOS3 TH4T M4K3S S3NS3

TEREZI: W1THOUT ST4T3 S4NCT1ON3D CULL1NG, TH3 TROLL POPUL4T1ON WOULD QU1CKLY DOM1N4T3 TH3 PL4N3T

TEREZI: 4ND 34RTH C DO3SNT STR1K3 ME 4S TH3 SORT OF PL4C3 TH4T WOULD T4K3 K1NDLY TO 4 LOT OF CULL1NG

JOHN: yeah. that was part of the government’s official argument.

JOHN: “it’s either this, or culling.”

JOHN: but it didn’t stop there.

JOHN: also a bunch of laws have been passed that restrict the kind of jobs that trolls can have. like, they’re not allowed to serve in the government or rise past a certain rank in the military. they can’t even be judges!

TEREZI: G4SP

JOHN: i know. it’s pretty bad here.

TEREZI: CONS1D3R1NG TH3 GO4L 1S TO L1M1T TH3 SPR34D 4ND 1NFLU3NC3 OF TROLLS, TH1S 4LL S33MS L1K3...

TEREZI: QU1T3 4N 4LT3RN14N SOLUT1ON

JOHN: well... jane is sort of a key political player now.

JOHN: she’s not “in” the government, exactly. but she has so much money she may as well BE the government.

JOHN: her company can do basically whatever it wants. and it seems more and more like what it wants is to make sure the politicians are saying exactly what it wants them to say.

TEREZI: H4

TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS SUSP3CT3D SH3D B33N SW4Y3D BY TH3 COND3SC3 MOR3 TH4N SH3 3V3R L3T ON

JOHN: yeah. i guess she was.

JOHN: although... i dunno, for some reason it doesn’t feel right to me.

JOHN: i KNEW a grown-up version of jane. she was my nanna.

JOHN: i never met her until she came back as a sprite. but she just seemed like a kindly old grandma who liked to play pranks.

JOHN: not a...

TEREZI: G3NOC1D3 F4N?

JOHN: not even close!

JOHN: i just can’t believe how fast everything deteriorated.

TEREZI: DONT T3LL M3 3V3YON3S JUST T4K1NG TH1S LY1NG DOWN

JOHN: of course not! kanaya and rose are both heavily involved in grassroots activism right now.

JOHN: and karkat...

JOHN: he’s gone completely off the grid!

JOHN: at first we all assumed that the reason he ran away was because he got fed up with his shitty poly relationship.

JOHN: which was probably part of it, honestly. but now i keep seeing his face on all the resistance posters!

JOHN: i think they may have actually put him in charge?

TEREZI: H3H

TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS KN3W H3 H4D 1T 1N H1M

JOHN: yeah!

JOHN: dave’s heartbroken though...

TEREZI: WHY DO3SNT D4V3 JUST GO 4ND JO1N H1M TH3N

JOHN: i don’t know.

JOHN: he worries about jade i guess?

TEREZI: J4D3 WOULD B3 F1N3

TEREZI: SH3S TH3 MOST R3S1L13NT OUT OF 4LL OF YOU

JOHN: sigh. you know how dave is.

TEREZI: Y34H

TEREZI: LOY4L TO 4 F4ULT

JOHN: yeah. he...

JOHN: oh my god.

JOHN: holy shit, hang on. i gotta take another picture.

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “PBandJ.jpg” --

TEREZI: ...

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S TH1S?!

JOHN: heheheheh.

TEREZI: DONT TYP3 YOUR L4UGHS 4T M3 4FT3R TR1CK1NG M3 1NTO LOOK1NG 4T TH1S 4BOMIN41TON

JOHN: i thought you might find it interesting. :-)

TEREZI: WHY WOULD 1 *3V3R* W4NT TO S33 G4MZ33 M4K1NG OUT W1TH T4VROS 4G41N???

JOHN: again?

TEREZI: UGH D1SGUST1NG

TEREZI: 1N PUBL1C 4ND 3V3RYTH1NG

JOHN: oh, it’s always in public.

JOHN: this is how gamzee helps people have their “redemption arcs.”

TEREZI: BY M4K1NG OUT W1TH TH3M???

JOHN: well, not always. sometimes he has them make out with each other. usually he just feeds them milk out of that stupid baby bottle he keeps with him all the time.

JOHN: i think it’s supposed to be like, some completely idiotic form of baptism he made up.

TEREZI: >:?

JOHN: anyway, speaking of tavros.

JOHN: what do you think about the morality of kidnapping someone if they’re really unhappy and possibly also being abused?

TEREZI: UH

TEREZI: WH4T

JOHN: ok, so like, if you kidnap someone and the situation you’re kidnapping them into is way better than the one you kidnapped them out of, that’s not morally wrong, right?

TEREZI: JOHN

TEREZI: 4R3 YOU TRY1NG TO G3T M3 4LL 4FLUST3R3D W1TH SUCH H1GHLY ILL3G4L SW33T T4LK

JOHN: um, no.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: ARE you flustered?

TEREZI: 1 M1GHT B3, 1F 1 THOUGHT YOU WOULD 4CTU4LLY BR34K TH3 L4W

JOHN: hey, i could totally do it!

TEREZI: 1LL B3L1EV3 1T WH3N 1 SM3LL 1T

JOHN: ok, i guess i’m gonna do it then!

TEREZI: SUR3

JOHN: i’m totally going to do it! next time we talk, it’ll be me telling you all about my successful and highly illegal kidnapping venture.

TEREZI: WH4T3V3R YOU S4Y

TEREZI: 4NYW4Y, N1C3 HUDDL3 3GB3RT, BUT 1 H4V3 TO GO

JOHN: wait!

TEREZI: WH4T

JOHN: you’re going already?

JOHN: you barely said anything!

JOHN: you just listened to me ramble on about earth c’s problems.

TEREZI: 1SNT TH4T HOW TH3S3 CONV3RS4T1ONS USU4LLY GO

JOHN: um.

JOHN: yeah, i guess it is.

JOHN: but it doesn’t have to be like that, you know.

TEREZI: HMM

JOHN: so.

JOHN: what’s going on with you?

TEREZI: D1D 1T OCCUR TO YOU TH4T M4YB3 TH3 R34SON 1 C4LL YOU 1S B3C4US3 1 W4NT 4 BR13F R3PR13V3 FROM “WH4TS GO1NG ON W1TH M3”?

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: yeah, that makes sense.

JOHN: i just don’t want you to feel that you’re like, my psychiatrist or whatever.

TEREZI: AWW TH4TS CUT3

TEREZI: DONT WORRY 4BOUT M3 JOHN

TEREZI: 1F YOU W3R3 BUGG1NG M3 1D JUST STOP T3XT1NG

JOHN: well...

JOHN: cool. if i’m not bugging you, then... can i ask a favor?

TEREZI: 1TS C3RT41NLY W1TH1N YOUR POW3R TO 4SK M3 4 F4VOR

TEREZI: 1 C4NT PROM1S3 TO FULF1LL 1T

JOHN: ugh, now i feel even dumber for what i’m about to ask.

JOHN: i don’t know if i even wanna do it now.

TEREZI: 4RGH! OUT W1TH 1T 3GB3RT!

JOHN: ummm...

TEREZI: F1N3! 1LL DO 1T, WH4T3V3R 1T 1S

TEREZI: JUST SO YOU C34S3 TH1S M4DD3N1NG N3RDBOY 1NS3CUR1TY

JOHN: ok, ok!

JOHN: uh...

JOHN: can you...

JOHN: take a selfie?

TEREZI: WH4T

JOHN: and... send it to me?

JOHN: oh my god, i probably sound so creepy right now.

TEREZI: 4H4H4H4H4H4H4

JOHN: hey, don’t laugh!

JOHN: look, it’s just that... after all the talking we’ve done over the years...

JOHN: you’re pretty important to me, terezi. and with everything getting so weird, i’ve been getting scared lately.

JOHN: so in case things go to shit over here, or things go to shit wherever you are...

JOHN: i just want to make sure i have something to remember you by.

TEREZI: OH

JOHN: so will you do it?

GAMZEE: NoW We wElCoMe iNtO ThE DoPe aRmS Of mOtHeR ReDeMpTiOn tHiS lOwLy PeNiTeNt WhO’s AlL kInDs Of SoRrY aBoUt HiS pAsT dEeDs.

ERIDAN: oh yeah im vvery redeemed

FEFERI: )(mm are you s)(ore?

ERIDAN: fef you dont believve me

ERIDAN: wwhat do i havve to fuckin do crawwl on the fuckin ground at your feet

ERIDAN: snortin and snufflin at your shoes like a mushroom sniffin porkfiend

ERIDAN: sizin up those covvetous swweaty delicacies stuffed wwithin

ERIDAN: like a couple of premium shrimp loavves garnished wwith ten exquisite pygmy soiree wwieners

ERIDAN: im a wworm fef

ERIDAN: im the lowwest of the wworst

FEFERI: Okaaay. If t)(at’s really )(ow you feel, i guess i can... accept your apology.

GAMZEE: NiIiIiIiCe.

GAMZEE: NoW tHiS iS wHaT i’M tAlKiNg AbOuT. AlL tHiS fOrGiVnEsS aNd ShIt Up In ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg HoUsE.

GAMZEE: aFtEr AlL, wHaT’s A lItTlE

GAMZEE: MURDER

GAMZEE: BeTwEeN mOiRaIlS?

FEFERI: I guess t)(at’s true! It )(appens to t)(e best of us. 38)

GAMZEE: YoU bOtH aRe So ClOsE tO tHe ReDeMpTiOn NoW.

GAMZEE: fIrSt, A LiTtLe RiGhTeOuS sPlAsH oF tHe NaNnA nEcTaR tO cLeAnSe ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...

GAMZEE: NoW...

GAMZEE: kIsS, mY mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

FEFERI: Ummmm...

ERIDAN: FINALLY

ERIDAN: pucker up fef and plant one on me

FEFERI: 38\

ERIDAN: you gotta its the rules

GAMZEE: tHe MoThErFuCkEr’S rIgHt.

GAMZEE: It AlL bE fUcKiN cRiTiCaL tO bOtH yOuR rEdEmPtIoN, tO kIsS aNd MaKe Up :o)

FEFERI: Sig)(. If it’s for redemption, t)(en...

FEFERI: Very well.

ERIDAN: oh fuck yeah

ERIDAN: RUB A DUB DUB COME GIMME A GLUB!!!

-- TEREZI PYROPE sent JOHN EGBERT the photo “H3R3.JPG” --

ROXY: yo john

ROXY: over here hon!

CALLIOPE: it’s getting less and less UnUsUal to see those in the troll kingdom, isn’t it?

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: i can’t help but think the government’s getting ready for something big.

ROXY: lmao you worry too much

ROXY: janeys got her head on straight shell show you yet

JOHN: ugh, let’s not talk about this right now.

ROXY: yea ur right

ROXY: its gettin late anyway we should head home

ROXY: see you next week callie?

CALLIOPE: oh. yes. always, roxy.

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #terezi pyrope #john egbert #gamzee makara #eridan ampora #feferi peixes #roxy lalonde #calliope #candy epilogue #page 22

0 notes

pesterloglog · 9 months

Text

Terezi Pyrope, John Egbert, Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara, Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor

Act 6, page 7375-7382

TEREZI: JOHN, WH4T H4V3 YOU DON3!

JOHN: whew! that was close.

TEREZI: WHY 4R3 YOU H3R3??

TEREZI: HOW 4R3 YOU H3R3???

JOHN: it's a long story terezi. don't worry about it.

JOHN: the important thing here is, we did it. everything's going to be ok now.

TEREZI: D1D WH4T?!

JOHN: um...

JOHN: i'm not sure, actually.

TEREZI: OH MY FUCK1NG GOD

JOHN: well, i just clobbered vriska and knocked her out, like you said.

JOHN: jeez, i hope i didn't punch too hard...

JOHN: wow, she's really down for the count, isn't she.

JOHN: i got a lot of extra punching practice in my fight with the skull jerk.

JOHN: maybe i gained a bit too much man grit for my own good?

TEREZI: WH4T 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT!

TEREZI: DO YOU H4V3 4NY 1D34 WH4T YOU'V3 JUST DON3?

JOHN: yes.

JOHN: i randomly appeared and knocked vriska out cold, just like the scarf told me to.

TEREZI: WH4T SC4RF???

JOHN: um...

JOHN: this one?

TEREZI: YOU W3R3N'T SUPPOS3D TO DO TH1S!

TEREZI: 1 W4S SUPPOS3D TO K1LL H3R!

TEREZI: YOU JUST DOOM3D US 4LL!!!

JOHN: no, no...

JOHN: i mean, yeah, it was supposed to go that way originally!

JOHN: but now it doesn't have to, because of like, weird retcon magic, and also your crazy mind schemes.

TEREZI: M1ND SCH3M3S?!

JOHN: yes.

JOHN: well, you from years in the future, just before you died.

JOHN: i got help from your older, possibly wiser self. you helped me come back here, using the mysteries of the mind.

TEREZI: 1 S33

TEREZI: BUT TH4T DO3S NOT 4NSW3R TH3 MOST 1MPORT4NT QU3ST1ON OF 4LL

JOHN: what.

TEREZI: WHY 4R3 YOU SUCH 4 DORK?!

JOHN: shut up!

TEREZI: L3T M3 S33 TH4T SC4RF

JOHN: no!!

TEREZI: Y3S, G1V3 1T H3R3

JOHN: no, quit it!

TEREZI: YOU FUCK3D W1TH TH3 4LPH4 T1M3L1N3. 1 W4NT 4NSW3RS

JOHN: hey, i had to jump through a lot of your lame prankstery hoops to get here!

JOHN: plus i saved vriska from your back stabbing ways, so you don't need to do that for... whatever stupid reason you were going to?

JOHN: how about a little gratitude!

TEREZI: JUST T3LL M3 WH4T TH3 SC4RF S4YS

TEREZI: 1 N33D TO KNOW WH4T 1 S41D!

JOHN: look, all it says is this list of bloody passwords and instructions, most of which are dumb pranks!

TEREZI: PR4NKS? >:?

JOHN: yeah, i think so.

TEREZI: WHY WOULD 1 S3ND YOU B4CK 1N T1M3 TO PL4Y PR4NKS

JOHN: because you're a weirdo!

TEREZI: SCR3W YOU!

TEREZI: W41T

TEREZI: SO YOU 4CTU4LLY W3R3 TH3 ON3 WHO STOL3 MY DR4GON, 4ND WROT3 THOS3 NOT3S?

JOHN: yeah.

TEREZI: WHY

JOHN: i don't know!

JOHN: you told me to.

JOHN: probably to prevent you from fucking up your life?

TEREZI: 4ND YOU'R3 SUR3 YOU D1DN'T JUST M4K3 4 DOOM3D T1M3L1N3 H3R3?

JOHN: yeah, pretty sure!

JOHN: this is like, a fresh start. from this point on.

TEREZI: G1MM3 TH3 SC4RF

JOHN: no! stop badgering me about the damn scarf!!!

TEREZI: 1T'S M1N3 THOUGH, 1T H4S MY BLOOD ON 1T!

JOHN: no, it belonged to my dear departed FRIEND, her name was *future* terezi!

TEREZI: YOU B4ST4RD >:x

JOHN: look, it doesn't even say anything else, i already did everything!

JOHN: wait...

TEREZI: WH4T

JOHN: ok, there is one last thing i have to do.

TEREZI: WH4T

JOHN: it says i have to give you my wallet.

TEREZI: WH4T??

JOHN: but...

JOHN: i don't actually have my wallet?

TEREZI: YOU DONT?

JOHN: no.

JOHN: i lost it years ago.

JOHN: i think i gave it to...

JOHN: damn. who was it.

JOHN: liv tyler, the bunny?

JOHN: or was it that short chess dude.

JOHN: shit!

TEREZI: WHY WOULD 1 T3LL YOU TO G1V3 M3 YOUR W4LL3T 1F YOU DON'T H4V3 1T

JOHN: i guess you didn't realize i lost it??

JOHN: hell, even i can't remember what items we still have half the time.

JOHN: terezi, just between you, me, unconscious vriska, and that dumb clown there, this adventure has been one huge mess.

TEREZI: WH4T COULD 3V3N B3 SO 1MPORT4NT 4BOUT G1V1NG M3 YOUR W4LL3T?

JOHN: hmm.

JOHN: actually, it says give "her" your wallet.

JOHN: did "her" mean you, or vriska?

TEREZI: ???

JOHN: i guess it's a moot point, since i don't have it.

JOHN: let's just call it one small flaw in your otherwise mostly stupid plan, and get on with our lives.

TEREZI: 1T'S NOT MY PL4N!

JOHN: yes it is!

JOHN: or, was.

JOHN: i mean, will be.

JOHN: or... won't be anymore? now that we changed stuff.

TEREZI: UGH, SHUT UP

TEREZI: M4YB3 1F YOU COULD T3LL M3 *WHY* W3 N33D TH3 W4LL3T, W3 COULD M4K3 OTH3R PL4NS TO COMP3NS4T3?

JOHN: um.

JOHN: i dunno. maybe you need to captcha something really big?

TEREZI: L1K3 WH4T

JOHN: i don't know!

JOHN: it's just some vague crap you wrote on a scarf!

KARKAT: JOHN????

JOHN: oh fuck.

KARKAT: HOW IN THE CONTEMPTIBLE NAME OF MY PERMANENTLY HATE-SOILED JERKOFF TROUSERS CAN YOU ***POSSIBLY*** BE HERE?!

JOHN: no, i'm not doing this!

JOHN: i'm not explaining the retcon shit again!

KARKAT: RET-WHAT SHIT??

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO VRISKA?

KARKAT: IS

KARKAT: IS THAT *GAMZEE* TIED UP ON THE FLOOR THERE?

KARKAT: WITH A HORN SHOVED IN HIS MOUTH???

GAMZEE: *HONK*

JOHN: sigh.

KARKAT: TEREZI, WHY IS GAMZEE TIED UP ON THE FLOOR.

KARKAT: I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I THOUGHT HE HAD GOTTEN TO YOU FOR SURE.

TEREZI: TH4T 1S SW33T OF YOU K4RK4T, BUT TH3R3 W4S NO N33D TO WORRY

TEREZI: 1 CR4CK3D TH3 C4S3

TEREZI: W1TH 1NV3ST1G4T1ON SK1LLS L1K3 M1N3, 1T W4S 1N3V1T4BL3 >:]

JOHN: (lmao.)

KARKAT: UM, OK???

KARKAT: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF SOMEBODY TOLD ME WHAT SORT OF PREPOSTEROUS SHIT WAS TAKING PLACE UP HERE.

KARKAT: WHAT HAPPENED TO VRISKA? WHY IS SHE PASSED OUT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR?!

JOHN: because i punched her in the face.

KARKAT: WHAT

JOHN: you heard me.

KARKAT: OK, JOHN, LISTEN. FIRST OF ALL, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.

KARKAT: I DON'T EVEN KNOW *WHERE* TO BEGIN ADDRESSING THE GLOBE NUMBING ABSURDITY OF YOUR SUDDEN PRESENCE ON THIS METEOR.

KARKAT: LET'S JUST AWKWARDLY STRAFE ALONG THE PERIMETER OF THAT HUMONGOUS, STINK-BELCHING TRUNKBEAST IN THE ROOM, AND LET THE VIOLENTLY UNINHIBITED NERD-GRILLING COMMENCE.

KARKAT: *WHY* DID YOU PUNCH VRISKA IN THE FACE??????????

KARKAT: I MEAN...

KARKAT: NOT THAT I NECESSARILY BLAME YOU, BUT STILL.

JOHN: karkat, take it easy.

JOHN: here, read this.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

JOHN: it's all on the scarf, buddy.

JOHN: it's all on the scarf.

KARKAT: GET THIS NASTY FUCKING RAG OUT OF MY PROXIMITY!

TEREZI: H3Y, TH4T'S M1N3!

KANAYA: Uh

JOHN: oh man.

JOHN: this is turning into a stupid circus.

GAMZEE: *HONK*

JOHN: shh!

JOHN: i should really get out of here.

JOHN: the time line is already boned enough as it is without me hanging around.

KARKAT: WHAT? YOU'RE LEAVING ALREADY??

JOHN: i mean...

JOHN: i guess it doesn't matter THAT much if i'm here?

JOHN: we already changed history like... almost completely?

JOHN: that was kind of the point.

JOHN: vriska's not dead anymore, so that means...

JOHN: wait, what does that actually mean?

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!

KARKAT: WHAT'S THIS SHIT ABOUT VRISKA BEING DEAD? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!

KANAYA: Vriskas Dead?

KARKAT: NO!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: SHE'S ASLEEP ON THE FLOOR OVER THERE, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!

JOHN: so, that means i'll never be able to get the life ring from tavros...

JOHN: but i already have the ring? so i guess that doesn't matter?

SOLLUX: wh0's talking.

JOHN: wait, does this really mean vriska's ghost stops existing, or...

JOHN: is her ghost just going to keep existing in the dream bubbles because of "reasons"?

KANAYA: Karkat What Is He Doing Here

KARKAT: WOW, GREAT QUESTION!

KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A FUCKING NUMBER AND GET IN LINE FOR THAT ONE!!!

KARKAT: I'VE ALREADY GOT MINE! IT'S THE FIRST NUMBER THERE IS. AN ANGRY, TREMBLING DIGIT, TOWERING AND ERECT, POINTING DIRECTLY AT THE TRASHFACED KINGPIN OF INEXPLICABLE HORSESHIT HIMSELF, *GOD*!!!!!

JOHN: and if i never ended up meeting her ghost...

JOHN: i guess i never stuck my hand in the house thing to get the retcon powers in the first place, so how...

JOHN: god damn it.

KARKAT: HER GHOST??????

KARKAT: HE'S TALKING ABOUT GHOSTS EVERYBODY!

KARKAT: EVERYBODY LISTEN, HE'LL SURELY EXPLAIN EVERYTHING ANY SECOND NOW! THIS SHOULD BE GREAT!

SOLLUX: can s0me0ne please tell me wh0 is talking.

KARKAT: SHHHHH, SOLLUX PIPE DOWN! HE'S ABOUT TO SPILL THE FART NIBLETS, I CAN FEEL IT!!!!!!!!!!!

JOHN: ok guys, really, i've messed with your time line enough as it is.

JOHN: sorry for clocking you, vriska, if you can hear me in your dreams. haha, you probably can't.

JOHN: but hey, i guess this means i get to meet alive you soon, instead of ghost you? so that's neat.

KARKAT: EGBERT DON'T YOU DARE FUCK OFF

JOHN: please tell her i'm sorry for punching her in the face.

JOHN: but also, she's welcome for saving her life.

JOHN: i'll see you guys later. um, in three years to be precise.

KARKAT: WHAT???

KARKAT: NO, DON'T

KARKAT: YOU STAY THE HELL PUT. DO YOU HEAR ME YOU UGLY, PEEJAY PACKING, FLAPSNIFFING SHIT INFANT

JOHN: bye dude!

1 note · View note

pesterloglog · 10 months

Text

Terezi Pyrope

Act 5, page 3469

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: K4RK4T, MOR3 B4D N3WS

carcinoGeneticist [CG] did not receive message from gallowsCalibrator [GC]

GC: >:?

GC: 1T S4YS YOU D1DNT G3T MY M3SS4G3

GC: YOU D1DNT BLOCK M3 OR 4NYTH1NG, D1D YOU?????

GC: WH3R3 4R3 YOU!

GC: 1 LOST MY GL4SS3S, BUT 1 4M B4CK 4T TH3 COMPUT3R L4B 4ND TH3R3 1S NO ON3 H3R3

GC: 3XC3PT FOR 4NOTH3R MURD3R V1CT1M >:[

GC: SH3 GOT F3F3R1 TH1S T1M3, 4ND M4YB3 K4N4Y4 TOO, 1 DONT KNOW

GC: DO YOU KNOW 4BOUT TH1S Y3T?

GC: 1F YOU G3T TH1S, PL34S3 B3 C4R3FUL K4RK4T, WH3R3V3R YOU 4R3

GC: 1M 4FR41D VR1SK4 H4S F1N4LLY GON3 COMPL3T3LY OUT OF CONTROL

GC: DO NOT TRY TO 3NG4G3 H3R, SH3 1S TOO D4NG3ROUS

GC: SH3 1S NOW MY R3SPONS1B1L1TY

GC: ONLY 1 KNOW HOW TO D34L W1TH H3R

GC: W4RN 3V3RYON3 3LS3 TO ST4Y 4W4Y TOO, 1F YOU C4N

GC: WHY WONT 4NYON3 R3SPOND? WH4T TH3 H3LL 1S GO1NG ON H3R3

GC: S1GN >:[

GC: GOG D4MN, HOW 4M 1 GO1NG TO GO 4BOUT TH1S

GC: 1 GU3SS 1 C4NT PUT 1T OFF FOR MUCH LONG3R

GC: WHY C4NT YOU 4NSW3R?

GC: 1 COULD R34LLY US3 SOM3ON3 TO T4LK TO 4BOUT 1T

GC: OH W3LL

GC: JUST DONT L3T H3R DR1NK YOUR BLOOD

GC: 1TS 4LL M1N3, R3M3MB3R >:]

#homestuck #terezi pyrope #homestuck act 5 #page 3469 #homestuck act 5 act 2

1 note · View note

pesterloglog · 10 months

Text

Terezi Pyrope, Dave Strider

Act 5, page 2772

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

GC: H3Y 34RTH BOY

GC: W41T...

GC: 1 JUST 4SSUM3D YOU W3R3 4 BOY

GC: M4YB3 YOUR3 4 G1RL?

GC: 1 DONT KNOW MUCH 4BOUT YOUR W31RD HORNL3SS SP3C13S, 1 GU3SS YOU COULD B3 >:\

TG: yes im a girl

GC: OH R34LLY?

GC: 34RTHL1NGS 4R3 R34LLY B1Z4RR3

GC: NO OFF3NS3

GC: WH4T 1S YOUR SP3C13S C4LL3D

TG: north american hollering phallus baboon

GC: >:?

GC: 1 TH1NK YOU M1GHT B3 PULL1NG MY FROND, F3M4L3 34RTHL1NG

TG: no its true we are highly endangered

TG: when our territory is threatened thats when the indiscriminate fucking begins

TG: could fuck a circus tent down a gas tank

TG: bunch it up in there good

TG: slam the lid and drive away

TG: beep beep albino hairless dickmonkey coming through

GC: 1M NOT SUR3 WH4T TH4T M34NS

GC: BUT 1 SUSP3CT 1T W4S SOM3TH1NG H1GHLY L4SC1V1OUS >:|

TG: the glittering civilization before you was built on angry apefuck power alone

TG: stand agog and marvel bitch

GC: H4H4H4 OK TH1S 1S NONS3NS3, YOU 4R3 4 JOK3R

GC: L1K3 M3 >:]

GC: MY N4M3 1S T3R3Z1, WH4TS YOURS

TG: shaggy 2 dope

GC: OK SH4GGY, S33

GC: 1 C4N SM3LL D3C31T

GC: L13S H4V3 4 SUBTL3 ODOR, 34SY TO M1SS 4T F1RST

GC: BUT TH3 MOR3 TH3Y P1L3 UP TH3 MOR3 TH3Y ST1NK!

GC: TH4T 1S NOT YOUR R34L N4M3

TG: ok sorry

TG: its ben stiller

GC: 4LSO 1 DONT TH1NK YOUR3 R34LLY 4 G1RL

TG: nope

TG: sorry to disappoint you dude

GC: 1 4M 4 G1RL NOT 4 BOY!

TG: dont care

GC: >:[

GC: TH1S F1RST 3NCOUNT3R 1S NOT GO1NG 4S W3LL 4S 1 HOP3D

TG: oh man another failed trolling attempt

TG: i had such high hopes trapezi it started out brilliantly

GC: T3R3Z1!!!!!!!!

GC: 4ND 1 4M NOT TROLL1NG YOU, 1 4M JUST TRY1NG TO G3T TO KNOW 4 L1TTL3 4BOUT YOU 4ND YOUR SP3C13S

GC: 1 JUST D1SCOV3R3D 1T 4ND 1 4M CUR1OUS

TG: excuse me but it says right in the header of this conversation that youre trolling me

TG: persterchum always knows

GC: OH...

GC: OH Y34H

GC: BUT

GC: OK TH1S M1GHT B3 H4RD FOR 4N 34RTH B4BOON TO UND3RST4ND

GC: BUT TROLL 1S 4 V3RB TH4T H4S 4 LOT OF NU4NC3

GC: TH3 WORD C4N M34N 4 LOT OF TH1NGS

GC: FOR 1NST4NC3, 1 4M 4 TROLL!

TG: no shit

GC: NO 1 M34N

GC: TH4TS WH4T MY SP3C13S 1S C4LL3D

TG: ok

TG: let me just set aside some time to be stupid enough to believe that

TG: hey looks like next month is chemical lobotomy month youre in luck

GC: OH GOD WH4T 4 SM4RT4SS!

GC: SM4RT4SS13ST 4L13N 3V3R

TG: so what do you think

TG: time to block you yet or what

GC: NO!

GC: L3TS K33P T4LK1NG

GC: UM

GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG NOW

TG: drawing a comic

GC: H3Y 1 L1K3 TO DR4W TOO

GC: 1M R34LLY QU1T3 GR34T 4T 1T

TG: awesome

GC: C4N YOU SHOW M3 YOUR COM1C

TG: nah

GC: COM3 ON

GC: 1 W1LL DR4W YOU SOM3TH1NG 1N R3TURN

GC: 1T W1LL B3 4 CULTUR4L 3XCH4NG3

TG: i dunno

TG: you seem kinda young to me and this thing is like

TG: borderline pornographic

TG: how old are you

GC: 6

TG: goddamn

TG: ok now youre messing with me arent you you arent 6

GC: NO 1TS TRU3!

TG: whatever thats bullshit

TG: ok fuck it

TG: just dont tell your parents

GC: WH4T 4R3 P4R3NTS

TG: thats just about the saddest thing i ever heard get said

TG: here

TG: http://tinyurl.com/CDandSL

GC: 1 4M NOT SUR3 WH4T 1S PORNOGR4PH1C 4BOUT TH4T

GC: 1TS JUST K1ND OF STR4NG3

TG: i guess

GC: 1TS PR3TTY GOOD THOUGH

TG: its ok

TG: im not thrilled with this direction though i think its too much like my bros stuff

TG: need to figure out my own ironic statement to make

TG: spread my wings you know

GC: Y3S

GC: 1 TH1NK YOU C4N DO TH4T

GC: YOU JUST H4V3 TO F1GUR3 OUT WH4T TH3 TRUTH 1S 1NS1D3 YOU

TG: pretty deep troll girl

GC: 1TS TRU3!

GC: TH3R3 1S 4 LOT 1N YOUR M1ND WH1CH 1S CONC34L3D FROM YOUR SURF4C3 P3RC3PT1ON

GC: YOU JUST N33D TO TRY TO B3COM3 4W4R3 OF 1T

GC: CLOS3 YOUR 3Y3S

GC: 4ND T3LL M3 WH4T YOU S33 1N YOUR M1NDSP4C3

TG: ok

TG: i see

TG: that fucking puppet

GC: H4H4 Y3S YOUR 4DULT CUSTOD14NS S3RV4NT PUPP3T

TG: uh what

GC: WH4T 3LS3 DO YOU S33

TG: man i dunno

TG: wheres this drawing you promised me

GC: OH Y34H

GC: H4NG ON

GC: OK H3R3 YOU GO B3N ST1LL3R

GC: http://tinyurl.com/FORB3NST1LL3R

TG: oh my fucking hell

TG: that is horrendous

TG: in the most beautiful way

GC: TH4NK YOU B3N >:]

TG: god damn

TG: that mouth

TG: its like

TG: i dont know

TG: a fucking pork chop

TG: jegus

TG: i mean jesus

TG: so overwhelmed i cant even damn type

GC: Y3S W3LL

GC: B3N 1 4M DR4W1NG W1TH 4 MOUS3 YOU KNOW

TG: is there even any other way to draw on a computer

TG: fuckin doubt it

GC: 1M ST4RT1NG TO TH1NK YOUR N4M3 1SNT B3N

GC: 1 TH1NK TH4T W4S 4NOTH3R RUS3

GC: T3LL M3 YOUR R34L N4M3!!! >:[

TG: ok lets say its

TG: dave why not

GC: D4V3!

GC: TH4T SM3LLS L1K3 TRUTH

GC: 1 W1LL D3C1D3 TO B3L13V3 1T >:]

TG: fuck

GC: OK D4V3, 1 H4V3 4 LOT TO DO

GC: BUT 1 W1LL G3T B4CK TO YOU

TG: what the hell could you possibly have to do

TG: doesnt seem like youre into trolling us as much as your numbnut friends

GC: MY FR13NDS?

GC: 4R3 YOU SUGG3ST1NG OTH3RS L1K3 M3 H4V3 TROLL3D YOU

TG: yeah what didnt you get the memo

GC: 1 WR1T3 TH3 M3MOS!!!

GC: 1 M1GHT NOT H4V3 WR1TT3N TH1S ON3 Y3T THOUGH...

GC: 1 SHOULD PROB4BLY RUN TH1S BY

GC: UH

GC: MY L34D3R

TG: your leader

TG: thats a retarded thing to say even by the standard of your own bullshit made up vernacular

GC: SM4RT4SS!

TG: whos he really

TG: your boyfriend or something

GC: PFFFFFFFF Y34H R1GHT

GC: W3LL OK

GC: 1 M34N

GC: 1TS B33N SORT OF COMPL1C4T3D W1TH H1M

TG: ok asking for an explanation on that is pretty much the exact opposite of what im doing

TG: and interesteds the opposite of what im being

GC: SM4RT

GC: 4SS

GC: >:P

GC: 4CTU4LLY H3S K1ND OF SM4RT4SSY L1K3 YOU NOW TH4T 1 TH1NK 4BOUT 1T

GC: BUT YOU S33M C4LM 1NST34D OF SHOUTY 4LL TH3 T1M3

GC: 4LSO

GC: YOU TYP3 1N BR1GHT BOLD R3D

GC: YOU DONT H1D3 TH3 COLOR OF YOUR BLOOD L1K3 4 STUP1D W1GGL3R >:]

TG: ok that remark was almost as boring as it was weird

GC: OH P1P3 DOWN D4V3, 1 4M TRY1NG TO P4Y YOU 4 COMPL1M3NT!

GC: 1 4M HOLD1NG OUT TH3 1NT3RSP3C13S OL1V3 BR4NCH H3R3, 4ND YOU 4R3 G1V1NG 1T 4 GOOD F1RM S4SS GR4B

TG: haha

GC: ON3 D4Y YOU W1LL RU3 4LL TH1S S4SS YOU H4V3 D1SH3D D4V3

GC: YOU M4Y NOT B3 4 G1RL, BUT YOU W1LL CRY L1K3 ON3 WH3N 1 4M THROUGH W1TH YOU

TG: i dont cry

GC: YOU W1LL

GC: TH3R3 W1LL B3 T34RS

GC: TH3Y W1LL SM3LL S4LTY, 4ND TH3N YOUR CH33KS W1LL B3 MY S4NDY B34CH >8]

TG: oh god

GC: OK, 1 W1LL G3T B4CK TO YOU 4FT3R YOU B3G1N PL4Y1NG

GC: TH4T W1LL B3 N3XT SOL4R SW33P FOR YOU

GC: TRY NOT TO B3 TOO 1MP4T13NT FOR MY R3TURN

TG: i plan on forgetting about you instantly after this conversation

GC: Y34H R1GHT

GC: YOU KNOW 1 H4V3 L3FT MY M4RK

GC: 1 4M S33R3D 1NTO YOUR R3T1N4S

GC: L1K3 4 B1G R3D SUN

TG: well maybe

TG: even if thats the case

TG: ill just forget on principle

GC: TH4T SOUNDS L1K3 SOM3TH1NG TH4T 4 COOL K1D WOULD TRY TO DO

TG: yeah

TG: pretty cool guy here

TG: case you hadnt noticed

GC: 1 MOST C3RT41NLY D1DNT H4DNT NOT1C3D >:]

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

#homestuck #terezi pyrope #dave strider #homestuck act 5 #page 2772 #homestuck act 5 act 2

0 notes

pesterloglog · 10 months

Text

Terezi Pyrope, John Egbert

Act 4, page 1604-1606

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --

GC: H3H3H3H3H3

GC: JOHN STOP HUGG1NG THOS3 S4L4M4ND3RS 4ND B31NG SO STUPIDLY 4DOR4BLE

GC: W3 4R3 ON 4 STR1CT CH3AT1NG T1M3T4BL3 H3R3

GC: W41T WHO 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG TO NOW

GC: 1S 1T ON3 OF US

GC: 1S 1T M3???

EB: it was carcino.

GC: H4H4H4H4H4

GC: 1 B3T H3 1S CONFUS3D 4ND GRUMPY

EB: yeah, sorta.

EB: he has no idea what you're doing.

GC: 1 H34R H1M OV3R TH3R3 B4NG1NG ON THOS3 K3YS

GC: 1 TH1NK TH1S WHOL3 TH1NG 1S JUST 4 W4Y TO V3NT SOM3 FRUSTR4T1ON

GC: H3 H4S NO PURPOS3 Y3T

GC: NOT L1K3 YOU 4ND M3 JOHN >:D

EB: oh, he said to give you a message...

GC: OH >:?

EB: he wants you to touch his bone lump or something.

GC: WH4T!!!

EB: and that he's pretty much basically in love with you.

GC: W41T

GC: D1D H3 4CTU4LLY S4Y TH4T

GC: 1N CONF1D3NC3

EB: yeah, i dunno, pretty much.

GC: C4N YOU COPY 3X4CTLY WH4T H3 S41D

EB: ohhh no, we're not going down that road!

EB: besides, it was a private conversation among private gentlemen colleagues.

EB: oh, also you're going to punch him.

GC: 1 4M

GC: WH3N

EB: i guess in your future.

EB: but in your pretty soon future i think.

EB: it's when he says stuff to you and then you laugh at him.

GC: BUT 1M 4LW4YS L4UGH1NG 4T H1M

GC: HOW W1LL 1 KNOW?????

EB: also he says you said it's from me.

GC: FROM YOU

GC: DO YOU W4NT M3 TO PUNCH H1M JOHN

EB: pffff, i don't care!

EB: i'm just the timey-wimey messenger here.

GC: 1M SUR3 M4NY H1GHLY JUST1F1ABL3 4ND W3LL D3S3RV3D PUNCH3S W1LL B3 THROWN 1N DU3 T1M3

GC: BUT L3TS ST1CK TO TH3 G4M3PL4N FOR NOW

GC: JOHN T4K3 4 LOOK 4T WH3R3 TH3 SHORTCUT TOOK YOU

GC: TURN 4ROUND >:]

EB: oh, wow.

EB: what's that?

GC: 1TS YOUR D3N1Z3NS P4L4C3

EB: my denizen?

GC: 3V3RY PL4N3T H4S 4 D3N1Z3N

GC: TH4T L1V3S D33P UND3RGROUND

GC: SL33P1NG

GC: 4ND GU4RD1NG 4 HUG3 GR1ST HO4RD

EB: ok...

GC: TH3 W4Y DOWN TO 1TS L41R 1S THROUGH TH3 P4L4C3

EB: so you want me to go down there and kill him?

EB: won't that be, uh, kinda hard?

GC: H4H4H4H4H4H4

GC: ORD1N4R1LY YOUD H4V3 4BSOLUT3LY NO CH4NC3

GC: 4T YOUR M34G3R L3V3L

GC: BUT YOU H4V3 4N 4DV4NT4G3

EB: oh?

GC: USU4LLY HOW 1TS SUPPOS3D TO GO 1S

GC: OV3R TH3 COURS3 OF YOUR QU3ST

GC: YOU W1LL W4K3 TH3 D3N1Z3N

GC: 4ND TH3N F1N4LLY YOU GO THROUGH TH3 S3V3NTH G4T3

GC: WH1CH 1S TH3 ONLY W4Y 1NTO TH3 P4L4C3

GC: TH3N YOU GO DOWN 4ND F1GHT TH3 D3N1Z3N

GC: 4ND K1LL 1T

GC: R3L3AS1NG TH3 HO4RD

EB: so what's my advantage?

GC: YOU WONT BOTH3R W4K1NG 1T

GC: W3 W1LL SK1P R1GHT TO TH3 S3V3NTH G4T3

GC: F1ND 1TS L41R

GC: 4ND K1LL 1T 1N 1TS SL33P

EB: um, ok.

EB: what's the point of releasing the grist hoard?

EB: is it just so i can make tons more sweet loot?

GC: H3H3 NO W4Y

GC: TH3 HO4RD CONT41NS SO MUCH MOR3 GR1ST TH4N YOU COULD 3V3R US3 1N 4N 4LCH3M1T3R

GC: 1 M34N YOU COULD 1 GU3SS

GC: BUT TH4TS NOT TH3 PO1NT

GC: 1TS FOR TH3 ULT1M4T3 4LCH3MY

EB: what's the ultimate alchemy?

GC: 1TS NOTH1NG FOR YOU TO WORRY 4BOUT NOW

GC: S33 TH4T G4T3 OV3R BY TH3 BROK3N BR1DG3

GC: GO CH3CK 1T OUT

EB: alright.

EB: so this is the seventh gate?

EB: that'll take me into the palace and down to the sleeping denizen?

GC: NOP3 >:]

GC: TH1S 1S JUST 4 S1MPL3 R3TURN NOD3

GC: TH3R3 4R3 LOTS OF TH3S3 4ROUND

GC: JUST HOP 1N

GC: DONT WORRY 1LL G3T YOU TO TH3 G4T3 SOON 4FT3R TH4T

#homestuck #terezi pyrope #john egbert #homestuck act 4 #page 1604 #page 1605 #page 1606

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 7 years

Photo

> Terezi: Trizzoll dis off tha hook coolkid.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] bizzle troll'n turntechgodheezee [TG]

GC: They call me tha black folks president. HIZZY 34RTH BOI GC: W41T... GC: 1 JIZZY 4SSIZZLE YOU W3R3 4 BOI GC: M4YB3 YOUR3 4 G1RL? GC, betta check yo self: 1 DONT KNOW MUCH 4BOUT YO' W31RD HORNL3SS SP3C13S, 1 GIZZU3SS YIZZOU COULD B3 >:\

TG: yes im a girl

GC: OH R34LLY? GC cuz I'm fresh out the pen: 34RTHL1NGS 4R3 R34LLY B1Z4RR3 GC: NO OFF3NS3 GC: WH4T 1S YO' SP3C13S C4LL3D

TG: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. N-to-tha-izzorth american hollerizzle phallus baboon

GC: They call me tha black folks president. > cuz I'm fresh out the pen:? GC: 1 TH1NK YOU M1GHT B3 PULL1NG MAH FRIZZLE, F3M4L3 34RTHL1NG

TG: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. no its true we be highly endangizzle TG: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. when our territory be threatened thats when tha indiscriminate fuck'n begins TG: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. cizzy fuck a circus tizzay down a gas T-to-tha-izzank TG: B-to-tha-izzunch it up 'n thizzle G-to-tha-izzood TG: slam tha lizzay n drive awizzle TG: beep beep albizzle hairless dickmonkey com'n through

GC: 1M NOT SIZZAY3 WH4T TH4T M34NS GC: Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. BUT 1 SUSP3CT 1T W4S SIZZY HIZZY L4SC1V1IZZLE > wit da big Bo$$ Dogg:|

TG: Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. tha glitter'n civilization before you wiznas built on angry apefuck playa izzle TG: stand agog n marvel bizzy

GC: H4H4H4 OK TH1S 1S NIZNONS3NS3, YIZNOU 4R3 4 J-TO-THA-IZZOK3R GC: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. L1K3 M3 >:] GC: Tru niggaz do niggaz. MAH N4M3 1S T3R3Z1, WH4TS YOURS

TG: shaggizzle 2 dope

GC: OK SH4GGIZZLE, S33 GC: 1 C4N SM3LL D3C31T GC: L13S H4V3 4 SUBTL3 ODOR, 34SY TA M1SS 4T F1RST GC: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. BUT TH3 MOR3 T-H-3-TO-THA-IZZY P1L3 UP TH3 MIZZY3 TH3Y ST1NK! GC paper'd up: TH4T 1S NOT YO' R34L N4M3

TG: ok sizzle TG: its ben stilla

GC: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. 4LIZZY 1 DIZZY TH1NK YIZZOUR3 R34LLY 4 G1RL

TG: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. nope TG: sorry ta disappoint yizzou dizzy

GC: 1 4M 4 G1RL NOT 4 BOI so i can get mah pimp on!

TG: dont ciznare

GC: Bounce wit me. >: Slap your mutha fuckin self.[ GC: TH1S F1RST 3NCOUNT3R 1S NOT GIZZY 4S W3LL 4S 1 HOP3D

TG: oh dawg another failed hatin' attempt TG: i had such high hopizzles trapezi it started out brilliantly

GC to increase tha peace: T3R3Z1!!!!!!!! GC: You gotta check dis shit out yo. 4ND 1 4M NIZZOT TROLL1NG YOU, 1 4M J-TO-THA-IZZUST TRY1NG TA G3T TA K-N-TO-THA-IZZOW 4 L1TTL3 4BIZZAY YOU 4ND YIZZAY SP3C13S GC in tha mutha fuckin club: 1 JUST D1SCOV3R3D 1T 4ND 1 4M CUR1IZZLE

TG: excuze me bizzle it sez right 'n tha heezeeer of dis conversation that youre troll'n me TG: persterchum always knizzle

GC: OH... GC: OH Y34H GC: BUT GC: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. OK TH1S M1GHT B3 H4RD FO` 4N 34RTH B4BIZNOON TO UND3RST4ND GC fo gettin yo pimp on: BUT TRIZNOLL 1S 4 V3RB TH4T H4S 4 LIZNOT OF N-TO-THA-IZZU4NC3 GC: TH3 WORD C4N M34N 4 LOT OF TH1NGS GC: FOR 1NST4NC3, 1 4M 4 TROLL! Chill as I take you on a trip.

TG: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. no shit

GC: NO 1 M34N GC: TH4TS WH4T MY SP3C13S 1S C4LL3D

TG: ok TG: lizzet me just sizzay aside some time ta be stupid enough ta believe that TG: hizzy looks lizzle next mizzle be chemical lobotomy month yizzle 'n luck

GC: OH GIZZAY WH4T 4 SM4RT4SS keep'n it real yo! GC: SM4RT4SS13ST 4L13N 3V3R

TG: so what d-ya thizzle TG: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. time ta block yizzou yizzy or what

GC: NO, ya feel me? GC: L3TS K33P T4LK1NG GC: UM GC: WH4T 4R3 YIZZOU DIZNO1NG NIZZAY

TG so jus' chill: dippin' a cizzle

GC: H3Y 1 L1K3 TA DR4W TOO GC: 1M R34LLY QU1T3 GR34T 4T 1T

TG: off tha hook

GC ya dig? C4N YIZZAY SHOW M3 YO' CIZZLE

TG: nah

GC n we out! COM3 ON GC: 1 W1LL DR4W YOU SIZZY 1N R3TURN GC: 1T W1LL B3 4 CULTUR4L 3XCH4NG3

TG wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: i D-to-tha-izzunno TG: yizzay sizzy kinda young ta me n dis dippin' be like TG: borderline pornographic TG: hizzy old be you

GC: 6

TG: goddamn TG: ok nizzy youre mess'n wit me arizzle you you arent 6

GC: NO 1TS TRIZZLE3!

TG spittin' that real shit: whateva T-H-to-tha-izzats bullshit TG: ok fuck it TG: just dont tell yo' parizzles

GC: WH4T 4R3 P4R3NTS

TG: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. thats jizzy 'bout tha saddest ho-slappin' i eva heard gizzay said TG: here TG: http://tinyurl.com/CDandSL

GC: 1 4M NOT SIZNUR3 WH4T 1S PORNOGR4PH1C 4BOUT TH4T GC: 1TS JUST K1ND OF STR4NG3

TG: i gizzuess

GC: 1TS PR3TTY GOOD T-H-TO-THA-IZZOUGH

TG: its ok TG: im nizzay thrilled wit thizzay direction though i think its tizzay much liznike mah bros stuff TG and yo momma: nee' ta figure out mah own ironic statement to make TG: spread my wizzle you know

GC: Y3S GC: 1 TH1NK YOU C4N DO TH4T GC with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back YIZZOU JUST H4V3 TA F1GUR3 OIZZY WH4T TH3 TRUTH 1S 1NS1D3 YIZNOU

TG: pretty deep tizzy giznirl

GC: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. 1TS TRU3! GC: TH3R3 1S 4 LOT 1N YO' M1ND WH1CH 1S CIZZLE FROM YO' SURF4C3 P-3-R-C-3-P-T-1-TO-THA-IZZON GC: YOU JUST N33D TA TRY TA B3CIZZOM3 4W4R3 OF 1T GC: CLIZNOS3 YO' 3Y3S GC: 4ND T3LL M3 WH4T YIZZOU S33 1N YO' M1NDSP4C3

TG: ok TG: Its just anotha homocide. i see TG: that fuck'n puppet

GC but real niggaz don't give a fuck: H4H4 Y3S YO' 4DULT CIZZLE S3RV4NT PUPP3T

TG: uh what

GC: WH4T 3LS3 D-YA S33

TG: One, two three and to tha four. dawg i dizzy TG in tha dogg pound: wheres dis draw'n yizzou promised me

GC: OH Y34H GC yaba daba dizzle: H4NG ON GC: OK H3R3 YIZNOU GO B3N ST1LL3R GC: http://tinyurl.com/FORB3NST1LL3R

TG: oh mah fuck'n hizzy TG, know what im sayin? T-H-to-tha-izzat be horrendous TG: 'n tha miznost beautizzle way

GC: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. TH4NK YIZZLE B3N >:]

TG: god D-to-tha-izzamn TG: thiznat mouth TG: its like TG: i dont kniznow TG: a fuck'n pork chop TG: jegus TG: i mean jesus TG paper'd up: so overwhelmed i cant even damn type

GC: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. Y3S W3LL GC: They call me tha black folks president. B3N 1 4M DR4W1NG W1TH 4 MOUS3 YOU KNOW

TG, ya feel me? be thiznere evizzle any other way ta draw on a wanna be gangsta TG: fuckizzle dizzoubt it

GC: 1M ST4RT1NG TA TH1NK YO' N4M3 1SNT B3N GC: 1 TH1NK TH4T W4S 4NIZZAY RUS3 GC: T3LL M3 YO' R34L N4M3!!! > fo' real:[

TG: ok lizzay say its TG: diznave why not

GC: D4V3! GC: TH4T SM3LLS L1K3 TRIZNUTH GC in all flavas: 1 W1LL D3C1D3 TA B3L13V3 1T >:]

TG: fiznuck

GC: OK D4V3, 1 H4V3 4 LIZZY TA DO GC: BIZZUT 1 W1LL G3T B4CK TA YOU

TG: what the hiznell could you possibly H-to-tha-izzave ta do TG: dizzay seem like youre into ballin' us as much as yo' numbnizzle niggaz

GC: MY FR13NDS? GC: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. 4R3 YOU SIZZUGG3ST1NG OTH3RS L1K3 M3 H4V3 TRIZZLE YIZZY

TG: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. yeah W-H-to-tha-izzat didnt you git tha memo

GC: 1 WR1T3 TH3 M3MOS!!! GC yeah yeah baby: 1 M1GHT NOT H4V3 WR1TT3N TH1S ON3 Y3T THOUGH... GC: 1 SHOULD PROB4BLY RUN TH1S BY GC: Chill as I take you on a trip. UH GC: MAH L34D3R

TG: yo' leada TG: thats a retarded th'n ta say even by tha standard of yo' own bullshit made up vernacular

GC: SM4RT4SS! Im crazy, you can't phase me.

TG: whos he rizzle TG: yo' boyfriend or sum-m sum-m

GC: PFFFFFFFF Y34H R1GHT GC now pass the glock: W3LL OK GC: 1 M34N GC: 1TS B33N SIZZY OF CIZZLE W1TH H1M

TG: ok ask'n fo` an explanation on thizzay is pretty much tha exact opposizzle of what im do'n TG: n interesteds tha opposite of what im bein

GC: SM4RT GC: 4SS GC fo all my homies in the pen: >:P GC: 4CTU4LLY H3S K1ND OF SM4RT4SSIZNY L1K3 YOU NOW TH4T 1 TH1NK 4BOUT 1T GC: Anotha dogg house production. BUT YOU S33M C4LM 1NST34D OF SHOUTY 4LL TH3 T1M3 GC: 4LSO GC cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: YOU TYP3 1N BR1GHT BOLD R3D GC: YOU DONT H1D3 TH3 COLOR OF YO' BIZZY L1K3 4 STUP1D W1GGL3R >, niggaz, better recognize:]

TG: ok thizzle rizzle was almost as bor'n as it wizzas wizzeird

GC: OH P1P3 DOWN D4V3, 1 4M TRY1NG TA PIZZY YOU 4 CIZNOMPL1M3NT sho nuff! GC: 1 4M HOLD1NG OUT TH3 1NT3RSP3C13S OL1V3 BR4NCH H3R3, 4ND YOU 4R3 G1V1NG 1T 4 GIZZAY F1RM S4SS GR4B

TG: haha

GC: ON3 D4IZZAY YOU W1LL RU3 4LL TH1S S4SS YIZZLE H4V3 D1SH3D D4V3 GC: YOU M4IZZAY NOT B3 4 G1RL, BIZZAY YIZZOU W1LL CIZZY L1K3 ON3 WH3N 1 4M THROUGH W1TH YOU

TG: i diznont cry

GC: YOU W1LL GC: TH3R3 W1LL B3 T34RS GC: TH3IZZAY W1LL SM3LL S4LTIZZAY, 4ND TH3N YO' CH33KS W1LL B3 MAH S4NDIZZAY B34CH >8]

TG: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. oh god

GC: OK, 1 W1LL G3T B4CK TA YOU 4FT3R YOU B3G1N PL4Y1NG GC like a tru playa': TH4T W1LL B3 N3XT SOL4R SW33P FO` YOU GC: Anotha dogg house production. TRY NOT TO B3 TOO 1MP4T13NT FO` MAH R3TIZZURN

TG so jus' chill: i plan on forgett'n 'bout you instizzle afta dis conversizzle

GC: Y34H R1GHT GC: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. YOU KNOW 1 H4V3 L3FT MAH M4RK GC: 1 4M S33R3D 1NTIZZLE YO' R3T1N4S GC: L1K3 4 B1G R3D SIZNUN

TG: well maybe TG: even if thizzle tha caze TG: ill jizzy forget on principle

GC: TH4T SOUNDS L1K3 SIZNOM3TH1NG TH4T 4 COO' K1D WOULD TRY TA DO

TG: yeah TG: pretty coo' homey hizzere TG: caze yizzou hadnt noticed

GC: 1 MOST C3RT41NLY D1DNT H4DNT NOT1C3D >: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house.]

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceaze' sippin' turntechgodheezee [TG]

> Terezi: Be tha off tha hook coolkid cuz its a G thang.

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg2771

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