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uselesseaweedbrain · 3 days ago

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Supercorptober - 13. L-Corp

And- boom. Kara has blobbed the article. It’s done. The aliens will know, will be able to protect themselves, and Kara might get fired, but- with all these lives in the balance, this feels worth it, still.

Before Kara has too much time to dwell on her grim fate as a journalist, NSYNC sounds in the room - You're all I ever wanted, You’re all I ever needed, yeah-

“Lena!”, Kara answers her phone enthusiastically, relieved for the distraction.

“Kara, I think I found something. Funding into a facility that was supposedly defunct. It’s big enough to build almost anything, or hide something-“

A buzz, clutter, and the sound of something falling on the end of the line. Kara changes into her super-suit faster than anyone can blink, is already out the window when she calls:

“Lena?”

Footsteps, no answer. Kara is already halfway over to L-Corp, it will be fine-

“Stay back!”

Almost there - Kara can hear Lena’s erratic heartbeat and three others’, sounds of struggle-

“Lena?!”

Lena doesn’t answer. It doesn’t matter.

Supergirl is close, a handful of milliseconds away, Lena will be safe.

A gasp and a cry; a body free falling from the skyscraper’s balcony.

Long hair. Lena’s perfume.

Kara dives headfirst before any conscious thought can form, her arms folding around Lena as she stops their fall and bundles her up in a bridal carry.

“Lena-“, she whispers, and Lena’s hand grips the fabric of her suit like a lifeline.

Supergirl is not Kara. And Supergirl should be maintaining boundaries with Lena Luthor.

Kara can’t bring herself to care.

Lena is in her arms, both their hearts beating too fast, and Kara hovers in the air - a handful of seconds, minutes, she can’t tell -, thoughts too jumbled and mind too panicked, her hearing focused on Lena’s still beating heart.

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. The rhythmic sound is enough to drown everything else. Lena’s alive, she’s alive. She’s alive.

If Lena had plummeted to her death, not knowing to yell for Kara- not knowing Kara would come-

“Lena”, she murmurs again. “I’ve got you, it’s me, it’s Kara, you’re safe. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Lena doesn’t answer.

Kara squeezes her gently against her chest.

She can still hear the imbecilic criminals above her on the balcony, can see them looking at each other in panic as she rises, Lena safe in her arms.

“Dropped something?”, she snarks.

Her freeze breath makes quick work of them, allowing her to deposit Lena on the solid ground of her balcony’s stone paving.

Lena still hasn’t spoken.

“I’ll be right back’”, Kara promises, pulling her earpiece from a hidden pocket and tapping it twice, before gathering the goons’ unconscious bodies and piling them on the balcony.

“Alex. Three men. They attacked Lena just now. Yes, she’s safe. Yes- Yes, I just need you to pick them up, L-Corp. Lena’s office, top floor. They’re on the balcony, all tied up. Thank you, Alex. Bye.”

Lena stands shell-shocked on her stilettos for the duration of the whole operation, unresponsive, but docilely following when Kara takes her by the hand and leads her to sit on her couch, closing the balcony door behind them.

Kara sits down slowly opposite Lena, grasping both her hands in hers as she tries to catch Lena’s empty gaze.

“Lena”, she calls gently. “It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re safe. You’re okay, Lena, I promise, I’m here, you’re okay. Just, try to stay with me, okay?”

Lena squeezes Kara’s hands absently, and Kara smiles encouragingly.

“That’s good. You’re doing great. Just- tell me three things you can see, Lena, anything you want, just three things.”

Lena’s voice comes out strangled as she croaks out: “Your skin.”

“Okay, good, you’re doing well. What else?”

“Your hair”, Lena murmurs, her voice already steadier.

“One last thing, Lena.”

“Your super-suit.”

Kara nods.

“Good. Now, three things you can touch?”

“Your hands- the fabric of the couch- my pantsuit-“

“Perfect, Lena. Now, just breathe with me, okay? Take a breath in - one, two three, four - breath out - one, two, three, four, again, take a deep breath in”-

“That’s good, very good, now breathe out, one, two, three, four. Again-“

Lena’s heartbeat slows at last, Kara’s settling with hers as the adrenaline subsides.

Lena’s okay, Lena’s safe, nothing else matters, and-

Lena’s corporate mask slides back into place as she rises from the couch, taking her hands from under Kara’s and extending her right one in thanks.

“Thank you, Supergirl. I don’t know what I would have done without you, and- I’m sorry you had to see that. I hope I haven’t ruined your evening.”

Oh. Kara recoils instinctively at the formal address, her hands dropping to her sides limply as she gapes.

She doesn’t know it’s me. She didn’t hear me. All of this and she didn’t hear me.

“I- no, of course not- but I-“

“Let me walk you to the door. I can let Agent Danvers in myself, if you’d rather not wait with me, or-“

“Lena.” Kara interrupts. “Did you really not hear me?”

“Hear you when, Supergirl?” Lena’s tone is even and controlled. Polished.

She knows. A little voice whispers. This is a test. A game.

I know you believe in her, Kara, but she’s a Luthor.

I’ve learnt the hard way not to trust anything that comes out of a Luthor’s mouth.

Kara shivers. Lena is secretive, can lie and manipulate like no other, hide her real motives and plan and plot, but it’s always been for the greater good, she’s always helped-

If she turned on her own mother, what’s stopping her from playing the long con on you?

Kara’s fists clench. They’re wrong; they’re all wrong about Lena.

Lena can be trusted, and Kara will prove it.

“Hear me when I caught you, and held you in my arms, and hovered in the air because I just needed to feel for a moment that you were safe. Hear me when I threw all caution to the wind. Hear me when I told you my name.”

Lena’s throat bobs as she swallows, a sheen of tears forming in her eyes as she averts her gaze.

“I- I wasn’t sure if you’d meant to say it. So I thought I’d give you a chance to take it back. Pretend the Luthor didn’t know.”

Kara’s chest aches and twists.

“To- to take it back? How can you- How can you think- Rao, Lena, you almost died!”

Kara didn’t mean to raise her voice, she didn’t.

But now Lena is folding into herself, making herself smaller, as if to disappear, her gaze averted from Kara’s- there’s a fresh smell of fear in the air-

“Shit, shit, Lena, I’m sorry- I’m so sorry, Lena, I shouldn’t have yelled-“

Kara takes two steps back, then three, stumbling against Lena’s mahogany desk as her own hands tremble.

Lena doesn’t move - just waits, prostrate and in silence - and Kara feels bile rise up in her throat and swallows the urge to puke.

A knock sounds on the door and none of them move.

“Supergirl? Ms. Luthor? I’m coming in!”

Alex pushes the door open, and Lena straightens but Kara doesn’t - weakly gesturing to the balcony with a “They’re there, Alex.”

Alex sends her a worried look before calling her team to come in and clean up.

Kara doesn’t want to look at Lena, is afraid to move after her outburst, but she’s making Lena uncomfortable. She should leave.

“I’m sorry, Lena”, she whispers. “I’ll just go- do you- do you need anything? A taxi? A ride home?”

Kara sees Lena shake her head slowly. “No, thank you. Actually, I-“

Kara’s eyes snap up.

“I think I’ll just call George and see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” Kara answers quietly.

She exits Lena’s office through the balcony, and if Alex frowns at her departure, she doesn’t comment in front of her team.

Kara takes to the skies and doesn’t come down - above the clouds, she can think, and forget about the city and the city sounds and the city inhabitants and Lena recoiling at the sound of her voice-

Kara knows she’s powerful - knows she can pound buildings down with her fists, crush metal with her bare hands, bring any element to the point of fusion with her eyes- she knows she’s scary, but Lena-

She reminds Kara of Alex after she broke her hand.

The fear. The realisation that Kara could hurt her. Had the power to crush her.

Did Lena believe Kara would use it?

************************************

Kara had not gone to sleep but she still had a job to get to - or so she’d assumed, until she reached her office with weary eyes and was called into Snapper Carr’s office, faced with a computer screen displaying her blog, and told in no uncertain words:

“You’re fired, Ponytail.”

Kara had wanted to call Alex, but Alex had other problems, she was surely busy with the DEO and the alien abductions and Lena’s intel from the night before-

Oh. Golly.

Kara hadn’t told anyone about it. Had not even gotten the complete information from Lena after the attempt on her life.

She had lunch scheduled with Lena today - didn’t want to call before she made sure Lena would want to see her - maybe, if Lena forgave her, she could bring it up, after.

In any case, she had something she thought Lena should have.

Six bags of Big Belly Burger in hand, and a small, squared box in her pocket, Kara headed to L-Corp. As always, she was shown up and into Lena’s office immediately.

“Lena.” Kara began as soon as the door closed behind them. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry for yesterday, for scaring you, for yelling at you-“

Shock registers on Lena’s features and the CEO shakes her head slowly.

“Honestly, this morning, I wasn’t even sure what was real anymore, but- you are her, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Kara hangs her head in shame before resuming her apology.

“Yes, I am her- it was me, yesterday, all me, and the way I behaved was inexcusable, Lena, I’m so sorry- I would never hurt you, but the way I shouted at you-“

Lena raises her hand and Kara pauses.

“Kara, I know. I know that you would never hurt me. The way I reacted yesterday- it wasn’t your fault."

Kara shakes her head but Lena continues.

“I just- being yelled at, it triggered some bad memories, but it wasn’t you, Kara.”

“Still- I should have never raised my voice at you. I was scared - you came so close to dying, and if I hadn’t been on the phone- if you hadn’t known and hadn’t called for me- I was terrified, but it wasn’t an excuse. I shouldn’t have yelled. The way you shut down, Rao, Lena-”

It’s Lena who comes closer this time, and Kara who recoils.

“You don’t have to put yourself through this for me, Lena. I am dangerous, and I know that- the whole world knows that. And I would understand if you weren’t comfortable with me anymore, I can just go-“

A hand on her forearm silences her, and Lena gently intertwines their fingers before leading Kara to the couch.

“Sit.” Lena orders, and Kara obliges.

Lena sits too, close enough to touch - closer than she ever has before.

“I- Growing up with the Luthors- It wasn’t fun. I loved my father so much - for a bit he was the only one opposing Lillian and protecting me, but he- he wasn’t perfect. I think I erased some of his flaws in my head, because after Lillian’s reveal of my lineage- things started coming back to me. Things like the way father would drink in his office and call me or Lex to assist him. The way he would throw tantrums - or his whiskey glass, or the nearest book - when something didn’t go his way. The way he would sometimes rage and yell and destroy, and the way I would hide behind Lex when he was there. The way father would go back to caring and loving the next day and the way I concluded this was all in my imagination.”

Lena lays a gentle hand on Kara’s clenched fist, and Kara makes a conscious effort to relax. Lionel is dead, there is nothing left to be done anymore other than stand at Lena’s side.

“All this to say that yesterday- the free falling from the balcony had shaken me a bit, and I was not in my right mind. Being yelled at- it triggered things that I can usually control much better, but I was unbalanced, and in shock, and it wasn’t you. Please don’t think that it was you, Kara. Please don’t think I am afraid of you.”

Kara exhales as tears run over her cheek.

“I’m sorry, Lena. I’m the one who should be apologising and asking how you are, and instead, you’re the one comforting me after I made everything worse, and I-“

Kara sniffs and Lena’s hand reaches out to caress her cheek, wiping Kara’s tears so delicately with her thumb that Kara is convinced that Lena has forgotten she’s indestructible.

Kara closes her eyes and listens to Lena’s steady heartbeat and feels the soothing motion of her thumb on her cheek and thinks that she’s never felt so loved.

“Lena”, Kara whispers in contentment.

Lena hums in response.

The clock ticks in the background and Kara forces herself to open her eyes, reaching for the squared box in her left pocket.

“Lena, yesterday, I- you know that I reacted terribly, but the reason why- I just kept thinking, what if we hadn’t been on the phone then, what if I hadn’t heard and you hadn’t called me, and you had just-”

A pause, and then, almost too hushed to be heard:

"And to be honest, Lena, I- I’m not sure I could have lived with that outcome."

Lena’s sharp intake of breath prompts Kara to squeeze Lena's hand with their still entwined fingers.

“And so- I wanted you to have this.”

Kara pulls the box open, presenting it to Lena who hesitantly extends the hand thats’s not holding Kara’s.

“May I?” Lena asks, and Kara nods.

Lena runs her finger pads over the jet-black watch with something close to reverence, and Kara has to remember how to breathe.

“Is this-“

Kara nods wordlessly.

“This is my family’s watch, and you can use it as one, or-“ Kara reaches out and gently pries the watch open, revealing a silver button with the El-Mayarah sigil.

“This emits frequencies only audible to Kryptonians. If you press it, I will come, whatever the time or place. And I want you to use it, Lena, whenever you’re in danger, whenever you feel like it, whenever you need me. Please.”

“But- Kara- this- are you sure?”

“Very sure”, Kara whispers, and Lena beams and lets Kara tie the watch to her wrist and- why is Kara's heart beating into overdrive?

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thatonebirdwrites · 29 days ago

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Catco and Family

On AO3

For Kara, Catco existed as part of her family. Many of the employees there had a suspicion she was Supergirl -- there's only so many times that she breaks her phones or keyboards before people start to wonder, then there was the whole panic incident where she destroyed the elevator.

Yet none of them had ever given away her secret.

That all changed when Lena sold Catco to Andrea Rojas.

Andrea walked into the CEO office as if she owned it. "Ah, Kara Danvers and James Olsen." She nodded to both of them and made a show of examining the office's amenities.

"Who are you?" James demanded.

"Me? Did Lena not tell you?" Andrea smiled, but the smile felt like a predator watching her prey. "She sold Catco to me. I am your new CEO."

"What?" Kara stared, stunned. "But... but she wouldn't do that without telling me..."

"Oh?" Andrea raised an eyebrow similar to how Lena would. "Perhaps you should ask her about it then." She walked to the desk and looked it over. "I plan some major changes. One being all of you will require new contracts. Non-competing contracts."

James scowled. "That would doom any of us that leaves Catco."

"Then why leave?" Andrea settles into the chair with a sign. "Give me a chance, Mr. Olsen. If you do your job well, then there will be a place for you here. And I do love giving people raises if they do the work."

Kara clenched her fists. She turned and stalked from the room, upset and on the verge of tears. Why did Lena sell?

The question haunted her the entire walk/flight to L-Corp, but when she tried to go past security, a guard stopped her.

"ID please."

"I'm Kara Danvers here to speak with Lena Luthor." She tugged out her wallet to show it. "Lena always lets me up."

The guard frowned. He glanced at his tablet. "You're not on her list. Let me contact her assistant."

Another guard grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the security line. Kara tugged her arm free, upset. What was happening?

The first guard returned. "Miss Huang says you may come up, but after this, you must go through her to set up a specific appointment."

Kara blinked, unable to fathom this development. Lena and her shared lunch or dinner here, and she'd never had to go through this prior. She'd just been waved through and gone up without any need for appointments.

Dread curdled in her stomach. Tears pricked her eyes, but she refused to cry. There had to be an explanation. Lena wouldn't just throw her out like this, right?

The doors opened onto Lena's floor, and Kara walked up to Jess's desk. The Assistant glanced at her. "Jess? What -- what is going on? Is Lena okay?"

Jess pursed her lips, her expression not at all the open one she had prior, but one that studied Kara as if she was a problem to be solved. "Miss Luthor is at her desk. You have twenty minutes before her next meeting."

Jess was incredibly loyal to Lena, and despite asking two more times, Jess gave her no information. Only tapped her wristwatch.

Kara pushed open the doors and entered Lena's office. What once had been a lovely place for them to chat and eat, where Kara's paintings had once hung on the walls, the room had been stripped of all color.

White and grey adorned all the furniture, walls, and no paintings hung anywhere.

"Lena?" Kara didn't know what to make of her best friend. Lena wore a crisp navy blue suit, her hair in a tight ponytail, and her desk was cluttered with schematics and other paperwork. "Um, what's going on? I usually can just come up."

"Hmm?" Lena looked up, and her gaze fixed Kara with a piercing stare. "Hello to you too, Kara Danvers." She pushed her chair back and stood. "I am instituting changes here." When she smiled, it did not reach her eyes.

It was fake, and her scent wasn't the usual sweet scent. It held a touch of acidic, which Kara only smelled on those who were angry or close to a panic.

"Lena, please." Kara stepped up to her desk and reached out, but froze when Lena took a step back. "I -- I don't understand. Why did you sell Catco? Why didn't you tell me? Are you okay? What's wrong?" The words tumbled out, and desperation seared through her. "You know I'm always here for you!"

"Are you?" Lena raised an eyebrow. "Or just keeping tabs on me, the Luthor?"

"What?" Kara stared at Lena, stunned. "What does your last name have to do with anything? You're Lena."

"Indeed." Lena walked over to a white cabinet next to her white sofa. She poured scotch into a glass. "I sold Catco because I needed funds for a new project. One that requires expensive materials. Andrea Rojas gave me an excellent offer." She gave Kara another fake smile and sipped her scotch. "It's just business, Kara. Catco was an investment, now that investment must go elsewhere."

Kara shook her head. "But -- but you bought it to avoid this very situation. Andrea wants to do non-competing clauses in contracts. I wouldn't be able to do journalism ever if I decided to not work for her."

"Hmmm. That's just a business decision. She wants to retain her talent." Lena swirled the scotch in her glass, her eyes on the amber liquid. "And it is no longer my jurisdiction. The sell was finalized yesterday, Kara."

Kara stepped close to Lena and laid a hand on her arm. She felt Lena stiffen under touch, how her heartbeat skyrocketed, and the sharp intake of breath. Her acidic stench wove with another scent -- one that was far sweeter and warm, and one Kara had smelled often when they'd shared cuddles during movie nights.

"Lena," Kara said, gently, "I'm not here to condemn your decision. I wanted to know what happened. And if you need the sale profits to go toward a new venture, then great! Maybe I can help?"

"Help?" Lena repeated. Her brow furrowed, and her lips twitched downward. "What do you know of biophysics, Kara?"

Kara struggled with how to answer the question without giving away her heritage, but the truth was, there was no way she could explain without being honest about her heritage.

Without admitting she was an alien. She'd hid that for so long, tried so hard to keep folks from knowing her full heritage. The secret ate her up inside, filled her with shame and guilt, and more than anything, she wished she could erase that part of her.

To be just Kara with Lena, without any superhero duties, without any powers. Just the two of them existing as best friends, or maybe even more than that.

Lena raised her eyebrow as if challenging her, and Kara realized this was a test.

"I -- I work on science projects as a hobby," Kara said, haltingly. "I never shared this with anyone, Lena. Not even Alex." Earnest desperation filtered into her tone. "I hid it because... because ..." She trailed off unable to voice it. Her throat closed, and she felt like she was strangling herself, the secret the noose around her neck.

"Because what, Kara?" That raised eyebrow, the challenge in her voice, the stiffness to her posture, and her scent -- did she know Kara's secret? Did she find it abhorrent and was that why she shut Kara out like this?

She needed to be honest. To tell Lena the truth, but the words would not form. The fear of loss bound her to silence. So she said nothing.

"Kara, unless you produce a degree related to biophysics, I will not be needing your help on this project." Lena's voice turned stern. "Science hobbies are not job-worthy experience."

"It's more than just a hobby," Kara whispered. "And -- and my degree won't be accepted in most places here."

"That's a shame." Lena threw back the last of the scotch. "So what else do you need, Kara?"

"I was notified yesterday," Kara pushed the words out, even as dread twisted her stomach and left her wanting to puke, "that I won the Pulitzer's for my coverage of your brother and Red Daughter. I'm allowed to bring someone with me, and I -- I wondered if you'd like to come?"

"Hmm." Lena narrowed her eyes. "Give the details to my assistant. She knows my schedule best. If I'm free, I'll come." Again the fake smile curled her lips, her eyes a narrowed glare. "The article was exceptionally written. Congratulations, Kara."

Kara couldn't make sense of Lena's reply. Normally Lena would jump at the opportunity to join Kara at any event, and Lena had often asked Kara to come to many a gala as her 'date.'

"Lena," Kara said, desperately, "Please, what is it? What's wrong?" Fear and worry throttled her. "I know how hard grief is. But don't shut me out like this. I can help."

Anger reddened Lena's cheeks. "I don't need your pity, Kara."

"It's not! I've lost a lot of loved ones, Lena. Support from your family really does help." She lightly touched Lena's arm again. "You're part of my family. You always will be."

Tears shimmered in Lena's eyes. "Right, family." She poured another glass and stared into the amber liquid. "A family of liars, of half-truths. That's the only family I know."

"Lena," Kara dropped her hand to her side. Her secret threatened to crush her.

Kara was a liar. She'd lied again and again about Supergirl, hid her alien identity, and where did that leave her with Lena? Shame percolated through her sinews, and tears pricked her eyes. She desperately wanted to hold Lena close, to reassure her that she was loved, that Kara was here to always protect her.

But how could she if she failed to be honest?

"Tell me what you need," Kara said, unable yet again to voice her truth. "Please, tell me, and I'll do it."

Lena sighed. "Leave me alone for a bit." She sipped her amber liquid and sat down on the sofa. "And don't bother Jess about the Pulitzer's. I'll come. I promise."

This time the smile she gave Kara crinkled the edges of her eyes, but a deep sadness weighed on it. Her scent altered to a sadder profile, and her heartbeat back to a more steady pattern.

Or as steady as Lena's heartbeat could be. Kara could hear the slight murmur. It had been the first thing she'd memorized about Lena.

"Okay. For how long?"

"The award ceremony is a week away, yes?" Lena glanced at Kara and immediately looked toward her balcony. "I need the week to think and recover."

"Okay. Just let me know if you need me. I'm a phone call or text away, okay?"

Lena's sad smile returned to her lips, and she nodded.

Kara left with a heavy heart.

***

Kara spent the week close to a panic. Andrea handed out the new contracts with the warning that all needed to be signed by tomorrow at noon, and if any wished to resign, they'd need to sign a non-compete clause.

Then came the meeting, where Andrea listened to their pitches for thought-provoking, heavy investigative journalism, and dismissed most of them. Instead, she assigned pop pieces with clickbait titles.

"The world is changing," Andrea said in her announcement at the start of the company wide meeting. "We must change with it or fall into obscurity. I bought this company because of the hope to revitalize it for this new world. Starting today, half the investigative journalism team will be reassigned to other departments. People don't want to read long pieces anymore."

Kara listened with a growing dread.

James did not stay silent tough. "This is outrageous! Our investigative journalism defines Catco. We turned this company into a force to be reckoned with, and now you want to undo all that hard work?" He gestured to Kara. "We even have a Pulitzer award winner on staff!"

"Please," Andrea said with a wave of her hand. "She's not even here half the time. Don't think I haven't reviewed all of your files. Kara Danvers spends more time out of the office than she does doing her job. She has the least amount of articles than most of you, and yet she has a private office? I find it strange for her to hold so much privileges, when other employees work harder for less pay and less recognition. No, that too will change. Absenteeism will no longer be tolerated."

Andrea looked directly at Kara when she said last that sentence.

Kara stared, stunned. Each point Andrea made stuck like a dart to her heart. She hadn't realized how much privileges she'd had here, and the absenteeism? She couldn't avoid it sometimes due to her Supergirl duties. She'd always gotten every article she was assigned in on time, or at least she'd ask for an extension and Lena and James had always granted it.

"You don't understand any of us," James sneered. "You're going to destroy Catco, and I won't stand here and let you do it."

Andrea flicked her fingers at James as if to dismiss him. "Then leave. Just know if you resign, you will not be able to go to any other journalism outfit." Her smile didn't reach her eyes, and she lifted an eyebrow as if to challenge James.

He scowled. "So be it. I'm your best photographer. I'll take my talents to some other industry." He pivoted and stormed out of the room, and the door slammed behind him.

Silence descended on everyone seated around the table. Even the online component was silent.

Andrea let the silence drag before she stood and adjusted the camera. "All right, everyone. Expect an email in your inbox with your new assignments. If you have any qualms, feel free to schedule an appointment with my assistant. Meeting adjourned."

Kara sat in her chair long after Andrea and the others left.

Her family teetered on the edge of a precipice, and now Andrea had set her one work home on fire.

"Kara?" Nia gently touched her shoulder. "You okay?"

Kara took a deep breath and pushed away from the conference table. "I'm fine." She walked, woodenly to her desk, opened her laptop, and checked her inbox.

Her assignment was to write a fluff piece about the best cafes in town.

***

Kara dipped her paintbrush into the water cup and leaned back on her stool. The painting contrasted the landscape of Krypton with National City's skyline, and there at the center of the picture, Lena stood on her balcony, her face uplifted to the sky, where Kara hovered in plain clothes.

Maybe she couldn't push the words out, but what if she gave Lena this painting? What if she tried to tell her in other ways?

It's not the first time she'd tried. Over and over, she'd struggled with when to share the secret. With when to burden Lena and likely put her in even more danger.

How many attempted assassinations could Kara thwart before one finally hit Lena for good?

No, Kara couldn't let that happen. She kept the secret to protect Lena from more harm, right?

The sky in the painting looked bleak, empty. She dipped her paintbrush into several warm hues and painted spots of stars and a crescent moon.

But it all felt so flat.

Frustrated, she threw her paintbrush and it embedded itself in the side of her counter, the wood splintered.

Lena was hurting, and Kara was here, painting like a fool. As if any of this could ever fix things. She desperately wanted to fly to Lena's side. To wrap her up and tell her how much she was loved, that Kara would do anything for her.

A knock sounded at her door before the click of a key and the twist of the doorknob. Alex stepped into the entryway. "Kara?" She shut the door behind her. "You okay? I heard about Catco from Nia."

Kara stomped to the sofa and dropped onto it, her face in her hands. "Andrea is ruining it." Pain coated her voice. "Catco's a home to me, Alex, and it's just all wrong. I don't understand what's happening."

"So Lena did sell it." Alex sat on the sofa next to her. "Do you know why?"

"She needed the sale to invest in a new project," Kara said, tonelessly. She dropped her hands into her lap, and flicked a piece of candy off the TV table. It flew and embedded itself in the wall next to the flatscreen.

"Huh. That's weird." Alex frowned and grabbed a napkin. She sweeped up the rest of the candy before Kara could flick another piece. "She bought it for you I thought."

"She said it was a good investment," Kara protested, weakly.

"Right, you two keep saying that, but everyone knows that's not true." Alex rolled up the napkin and dropped it into a used cup. "She had no experience leading a media empire, didn't even like journalism, and yet she bought it after you came to her for help saving it? Then she leads it despite not having any training? And don't even with the glances you two kept giving each other when you thought the other wasn't looking."

Every bit of evidence made Kara sink deeper into the sofa. She wished it'd swallow her up forever.

"No, Lena didn't buy it for anyone but you. So whatever is going on?" Alex tapped her fingers against her leg, and for the first time in a long time, she looked reluctant to speak. Usually she just bluntly said the truth that Kara needed to hear, but that hesitation fueled Kara's growing anxiety.

Alex knew something was wrong with Lena too.

"I don't know what to do," Kara whispered.

Alex sighed. "Don't push things. Whatever happened Lena will tell you when she's ready, okay?"

Kara pressed a hand to her face. "She asked me to leave her be for a week. But she promised to come to the Pulitzer's."

"See? That's a good sign." Alex's comforting felt bizarre to Kara. "She cares, and she did just lose her brother. Us humans work through our grief in different ways. It'll be okay, I'm sure."

Kara wasn't sure who Alex meant to convince. "I need to tell her the truth, but I can't seem to do it. The words won't come." She jumped to her feet and walked over to her canvas. "I thought, maybe, if I gave her this instead?"

Alex turned. "It could help, but you need to tell her directly, Kara, to avoid misunderstandings. Believe me, those can ruin a relationship." She grimaced, likely reminded of her relationship with Maggie and how increasing misunderstandings eventually broke it apart.

Kara didn't know what to say to that. The truth stared at her from the painting.

She was a coward. A selfish coward. She'd wanted Lena as her best friend, her cuddle buddy, and maybe something more without ever allowing herself to fully commit.

She was lying to herself. Lying to Lena. Lying to everyone.

She tore the canvas in half. "Fine," she said. "I got a week to figure out how to tell her. And I'll do it directly. Happy?"

"It's not me you need to say that too, Kara," Alex said, gently. "Do this how you and Lena need it."

"What if she rejects me?" That wretched fear had Kara pacing in a growing panic. "What if she hates me? I've lied to her for years. She hates lying."

"Kara. Stop." Alex caught her arm. "Maybe give her a chance? She might surprise you."

Kara knew Alex was just trying to comfort her, but it brought her no comfort. All she could think of is how closed off Lena had been, how she'd been barred from accessing Lena freely, and how Catco was in the hands of someone hellbent on ripping apart all of her and James' hard work.

***

On Krypton, one's house was integral to one's life. That family bound a person forever, and building up the house was as important as the work within one's guild.

These thoughts wove through Kara as she headed to the Art Museum where the Pulitzer's Award Ceremony would be hosted.

For Kara, on Earth where guilds and houses didn't truly exist, she'd created her own family. One built upon a tenuous foundation, where half-truths and lies cracked and tilted the family she'd built atop it. Her house on Earth hid in the dark, loomed in the shadows, crept forward in disguise.

Kara Zor El Danvers was a fraud, wasn't she?

She thought of Jindah Kol Rozz. "You know nothing of the nature of destruction. You are a child, living in light. But there is darkness in all things. In every soul you know. Who will it take?"

Was she a child living in light?

The secret suffocated her. That was her darkness, her pain, her fear, her loss. Coiled deep within her heart, and she'd done this willingly to herself and her family.

She'd set them on this dark journey of lies.

She thinks of the alien detector device Lena had been so excited to show her. How Lena thought it'd somehow bring more transparency to the world, but instead had ended its production to make imagers instead.

What if Kara had not sabotaged it and just relied on her instincts to trust Lena?

Would Lena have accepted her? They could have been a powerhouse together, a Super and a Luthor working to better the world for all people. She could maybe even work on science projects with Lena, where she didn't hide that part of her.

Because she'd been genetically modified to do science, and yet all she had was her Supergirl suit and journalism.

She'd strayed so far from her role in House of El.

The door to the museum opened at her approach. Her footsteps echoed against the tiles. She smiled and nodded at the greetings of the hosts, of other attendees. Workers led her through the atrium and into the large auditorium with a stage at its back, heavy red curtains hiding it from view. Tables were scattered across the floor with high stools, and paintings and plants hung from the walls. The ceiling held a massive chandelier, and the soft yellow glow permeated the space with light.

A light Kara darkened with her lies.

Alex, Kelly, Nia, Brainy, and J'onn were already here. Kara walked toward them, her heart in her throat. Her eyes scanned the rest of the guests, and she paused at the sight of Sam. She leaned against a pillar by one of the paintings. Her suit grey and white, and her eyes scanned the party nonchalantly.

What was Sam doing here?

Sam caught her eye, but she didn't smile. Her piercing look seared through Kara, as if Sam demanded Kara do something. Sam broke the eye contact first and looked up at the balcony above the stage.

Following Sam's gaze, Kara froze, her eyes widening. Lena stood there like a goddess, her eyes locked on her tablet. She wore a simple maroon suit, her hair in loose waves around her face. Beautiful and magnificent.

Kara didn't deserve her.

Brainy pulled away from Nia and the group and bounded over to Kara. "I have a wonderful surprise." He pulled out a small silver container, pressed his finger inside it, and held it up. Kara couldn't see anything there. "I have crafted you a new suit based on Lena's designs." He tapped the side of Kara's glasses. "Now when you whip off your glasses, the suit will materialize over your clothes."

"Oh, thanks, Brainy." Her stomach clenched at the mention of Lena's contribution to the new suit. "I'll try it out after the ceremony."

Brainy nodded. "Let me know if there are any complications. Congratulations, Kara. You're doing excellent work."

Kara wasn't so sure. Not anymore.

Not since her daily texts to Lena stopped.

Not since Lena sold Catco.

Not since Lena shut her out and blocked her entrance to L-Corp.

Not since the foundation of her family fractured under the pressure and weight of her secret.

No, she wasn't doing excellent work.

She was a coward. A selfish, coward, and she couldn't let this continue.

Alex, Kelly, and the others tried to talk to Kara, but she couldn't engage them in conversation. She did everything she could to excuse herself, and she hurried for the balcony.

Lena had stepped away from the balcony's railing and through red curtains to a hallway and stairwell for the lower stage.

Kara caught her there.

"Kara!" Lena looked up in surprise. "Lovely seeing you here." Her smile was warm, and her eyes crinkled. Yet her scent held that acidic tone, not at all the sweet one she usually had. No, something was still wrong. "I admit, I hoped to surprise you. I asked to assist the ceremony since, you know, we worked hard together to find my brother, so as your best friend, I offered to to be the one..."

Panic wove through Kara as Lena continued to speak about her plan to present Kara with the award.

"Lena please!" Kara interrupted in desperation. "You can't give it. Not until…" She took off her glasses, breathed in deeply, and blurted the truth. "I'm Supergirl!" Words tumbled from Kara's mouth in an avalanche. "And I'm so, so sorry. I should have told you ages ago, but I loved being just Kara with you. And I was afraid to lose you, and I can't lose you."

Lena froze, her eyes wide, but she said nothing.

Fear swept into terror that this was the end of her friendship, and Kara couldn't bear that. She leaned toward Lena and spread her hands in anguish. "So I thought I could be just Kara with you, and I convinced myself I wouldn't lose you then…. but I've been a fool. And I've been selfish. If I could just be Kara with you, if I could just…" Kara struggled to hold back her tears. "I've been lying to myself too. I thought I was protecting you, but I've been hurting you, haven't I? And I can't bear that. Gosh, Lena, I'm so sorry."

Lena said nothing. Her mouth briefly parted, but no words exited. She only stared at Kara as tears brimmed in her eyes.

"Lena," Kara said, anguished, "Please say something."

And yet, Lena said nothing.

The host announced behind them the ceremony would start soon.

Lena stepped around Kara, silently, and walked away.

***

It takes over an hour to stop Midnight, the newest alien to try to kill Kara and her family. She'd saved Lena from Midnight's black hole blasts. The suit Brainy made -- had pants! -- and worked like a charm, able to deflect far more energy and punches than her prior one.

Armor had been stitched into every layer, likely Lena's contribution. She felt as if Lena was hugging her with the suit.

Once Alex and J'onn secured Midnight and clean-up began, Kara searched the evacuees. She found Sam and Kelly with Lena, but they had ducked into one of Lena's towncars.

Sam turned to look back over the crowd. Her gaze caught Kara's, and she frowned, her eyebrows furrowed. Kara dodged around several paramedics tending to wounded, but as she neared the towncar, Sam shook her head.

Ducking inside, Sam shut the door and the towncar pulled away.

Kara watched it go, confused and worried. She could hear all three of their heartbeats. Kellly and Sam's was a steady, healthy beat.

But Lena's was not. Weaker than normal, the murmur more pronounced.

She thought of Lena's speech. How she'd extolled Kara's honesty, truthfulness, and altruistic virtues.

But that was all wrong. Kara wasn't honest. She hadn't been truthful to Lena or Kelly or Sam.

She'd hid her true self, only allowed it out in brief glimpses during game nights, walks in parks, or jokes over lunch. Only Alex and Lena had seen those true glimpses, but of the two, only Alex knew the full story.

A hand touched her shoulder. "Supergirl?"

She turned to see Nia.

"We need your help moving some debris. Sorry." She glanced toward the street, where the towncar vanished from view the intersection.

"Okay." Kara put aside her worries and got back to work.

No matter what happened after today, Kara would not let Lena go without a fight. Lena was part of her family, and Kara did not give up on family.

She had to have hope that somehow, someway, Lena and her could work through this dark chapter.

And Lena herself had said during the ceremony, "I'll always be your friend."

Kara held that sentiment close and chose to hope.

To hope that everything really will be okay between them.

Because if not, Kara feared she'd fall deeper into darkness, and finally be what Jindah Kol Rozz had predicted. "But there is darkness in all things. In every soul you know."

She hadn't fully understood Jindah, but as she turned to follow Nia, she finally understood.

Kara Zor El Danvers believed herself to be good. To be a child of light, to be a fighter of justice and hope.

But the darkness of her lies casted long shadows, poisoning everything she touched.

As she worked to repair the Museum, Kara vowed to never lie to Lena ever again. She'd do whatever it took to repair this and rebuild their foundation better and stronger than before.

#kara danvers #supercorp #lena luthor #supergirl #supercorptober #supercorptober2024 #supercorp fic #This is Kara's side of the tale from L-Corp and chilled Scotch by the way

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