#Kinda just showed up in my brain one day chatting with all my OCs and Aspects

[elazul-sasayaki]

Nap-Dream:

"They don't listen, ya know."

The figure in the yellow hoodie scribbles in his notebook as he speaks.

"The gods don't listen. Anxiety isn't just a mortal issue, you see. They wanted to see if they could, but weren't prepared for the responsibility that came with."

[bluemoonperegrine]

Wolf Be Upon Yeet: Part I

@vicarious-rebel and I have been chatting about her headcanon of the Moon Knight and Werewolf By Night characters hanging out in Bloodstone Manor Addams-Family-style. My favorite part of her headcanon is the monster OC she dreamed up: a sentient version of the Bloodstone. She introduced monster!Bloodstone in the short fic "Of blood and stone". 

I enjoyed. Had questions. Asked them. Vi replied. We started riffing on stuff, and it's hilarious.

We decided that some of you goofballs might enjoy our silliness and are sharing edited versions of it. Well, we might be. Here's the start of it. I'll see how this post goes over to decide if I want to edit more of our back-and-forth into something intelligible for everyone.

So, the least you need to know:

Elsa, Jack, and Billy Swan live at the manor full-time.

Elsa and Jack are good friends.

Jack is over 200 years old. He doesn't have control of his wolf form. Werewolf him looks just like he did in the special.

Ted, Marc/Steven/Jake, and Layla visit the manor a lot.

Some or all of them go on missions together.

Vi's text is black. bluemoonperegrine's text is blue. (I mean, of course.)

aight so you asked how the Bloodstone would react to Khonshu and I think that depends on whether it considers divine and monstrous to be the same or similar enough conceptually

it considers Jack a monster even though he really only transforms during a full moon so "human for the most part" doesn't cut it

still I don't think we have any info on how it reacts to divine beings (and I'm not really a comic nerd but there's nothing there either as far as I know)

so if the only distinction it makes is human vs non-human, then it would probably react to Khonshu the same way it did to Jack

but it wouldn't be successful in actually landing a hit

yeah, I'm with you on how the Bloodstone would perceive Khonshu: monster. It's pretty binary: there are monster and not monsters. Unnatural and natural.

Ironically, monster!Bloodstone is inherently unnatural. Hence the identity issues you mentioned the other day.

It would be funny if it looked in a mirror and realized "Oh shit. I'm a monster!"

How intelligent is Stony? (monster!Bloodstone needs a shorter name, lol) Like a mammalian alpha predator? Smarter than that?

Stony <3 I love it, it's like a pet name

I'm not entirely sure, to be fair with you. It's definitely smart enough to recognize faces and tell edible from inedible things (maybe even tell reflection from actual thing apart) but that's all "in development", I guess.

He's literally a pet rock. With... viscera and stuff

speaking of Jack, I was actually kinda worried his reaction was ooc

hmm. lemme reread it keeping in mind that he's an old man

bc Jack is a monster and he's certainly seen some freakier ones but on the other hand how often do you see the ultimate weapon against monsters become a monster and then go for your neck?

pff Jack is an old man, please have mercy on his heart

he looks fantastic for 257

i'd say it's a 50/50 chance that he'd run for his life or freeze. Of the four responses to a threat (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), fleeing or freezing make the most sense.

I think he'd have run if Marc weren't there.

yeah, I think so, too. It seems to be his go-to reaction to threats

but maybe his instinct went "wait, someone close to you is here, you can't leave them"

or maybe he freezes depending on the situation (if you can count his reaction to Elsa in the maze as freezing)

I think his brain went offline for about a minute when Stony showed himself

Jack.exe has stopped working, please restart

Once some of the adrenaline had waned Jack would probably think "I can't abandon my friends even though this thing could end me in a fraction of a second"

LOL jack.exe

* opens task manager, kills thread *

from what I understand the Bloodstone is only supposed to weaken monsters so that kinda holds true for Stony boy here

it was basically trying to paralyze Jack

I know nothing about the Bloodstone other than what was in the special

It's interesting to think about a werewolf's reaction to stuff that can seriously hurt them. It's a very short list.

same here but from some of the easter egg/analysis channels I've watched they sometimes talk abt the Bloodstone in the comics and so far none of them mention anything abt it being able to properly kill a monster

so I think of Stony as being able to send just enough neuroparalytic toxins or electric shockwaves to incapacitate a monster but not necessarily kill them

not that Jack knows that in the moment

or any of them really

I like how your mind works. You're figuring out how Stony ticks. The characters may or may not catch up

I am indeed figuring some of this stuff out as we speak

I'm already imagining Elsa trying to figure out how to take care of Stony. What does he eat? Steel? Cinderblocks? tiny ghosts?

she throws all this random crap in his space and watches what he does

Jack watches from far away with binoculars

lol, Jack and Ted watch the show from afar.

"I don't know what she's thinking, Ted. I mean... look at that thing!"

the serious version of what Stony eats would probably be raw meat/blood/whatever else it needs to maintain the viscera

the funny version would be if Elsa eventually figured out it can run on a chicken diet bc of that

Have you watched Death Note?

long time ago, yeah

"L, did you know gods of death like apples?"

that and "I'll take a potato chip...AND EAT IT."

I like the serious and funny versions of figuring out Stony's dietary needs

Ted, nodding along to Jack's concerns

Stony would make for a very efficient clean-up crew after a hunt

he's the goat of monsters

it gets even funnier when you imagine it wasn't Elsa but one of the mk crew to figure it out

gotta be either Steven or Jake

Marc or Jake casually throw a chicken nugget at it for funsies and whoops, what do you know it likes it

they train it to do tricks

they would!

I just love the image of Marc being completely unphased by the thing after the initial encounter so when the system n Jack are visiting Elsa for whatever reason and Stony pops up we have

Jack: internally screaming in terror

Marc: oh hey bud

Marc keeps chicken nuggies in a ziplock bag in a coat pocket for Stony

the system overall gets along with Stony, Steven especially likes teaching it tricks and playing fetch with it

Jack: Marc, have you been eating a lot of chicken?

M: ...no?

J: You... always smell like chicken now. Cooked chicken, I mean. Fried, to be specific. Just a little.

M: * pulls a ziplock bag with nuggs out of his coat. It says "Stony <3" in Sharpie*

J: ...oh.

lmao Jack being secretly jealous

(Why don't *I* get chickie nuggies?)

"how come this thing gets chicken nuggets from him all the time? what does it have that I don't??"

He'd start hanging around in wolf form in hopes of treats 😂

crackpot theory: Marc has some kind of natural way of getting along with monsters

just Marc, or the system?

just Marc

however the rest of the system also has their way of getting around

Steven would use his big brain

Steven manages to get on most monsters' good side by being his genuine, curious and respectful self while Jake has more of a chill vibe that can disarm even monsters with time

and speaking of wolf Jack, yes he'd absolutely start sticking around the system more often for treats

especially when you consider Marc gives me dog person vibes he'd probably cave at some point

Elsa sighs, rolls her eyes, and points this out to the boys

Ted just wheeze-laughs

oh Ted has the time of his life teasing Jack for it

Elsa, too

I love this so much words can't do it justice

my general idea of the WBN crew is that they are a tight squad and teasing is just a given

"I'm not that dog-like!" *scratches behind ear*

it's good-natured teasing. if anyone crosses a line, the other party backs off and apologizes, if indirectly

Elsa: you're jealous that Stony gets all of Marc's attention, aren't you?

Jack, sweating: I don't know what you're talking about

aight we've touched on Jack being jealous for attention

aside from hanging around the system more in wolf form, he also tries to spend more time with them as a human

preferably outside of Bloodstone manor

first off, he's not jealous of that thing you guys, he's noooooootttt

and secondly, since Stony can be surprisingly quiet for a giant monster he can lurk the house and sneak up on anybody

that essentially means it constantly tries to sneak up on Jack and he can smell when it's near and that freaks him out

also I headcanon that Jack likes bubble tea and routinely tries to get the system to try it but they're obstinate

he lets up on Steven when he says he's vegan but the others aren't so lucky

plenty of puppy eyes

also it just occurred to me that it would be double funny if Layla also started showering Stony with affection and Marc was secretly a little jealous as well

he would never admit it ofc but he also wouldn't have a grudge against it bc hello???? it's Stony

the thing kinda has a soft spot for Marc bc of the treats (and that first encounter bc I think it would appreciate bravery, somehow)

Does Stony like Jack? Why is he sneaking up on him?

I can almost imagine Stony as a scary/annoying kid hanging around Jack looking for attention. Maybe

Bubble tea! 😆

So who exactly is the WBN crew? Elsa, Jack, Ted, Stony 😂, the system, and Layla? Anyone else?

I can only see Elsa and Jack being at the manor full time, or at least a lot. Being 200 yrs old, Jack must have a few places... unless he's largely itinerant. And Ted has to guard the nexus in the Everglades

the WBN crew are Elsa, Jack and Ted while Layla and the system are the MK crew

Stony would initially stalk him bc "monster bad" but he does eventually realise that's not the case for Jack but still does the stalking bc he is in fact A Little Shit

what are the other naughty things Stony does?

Stony usually bumps into things or pokes them bc he's curious about his surroundings

this leads to the endearing cat-like behaviour of "push things off the ledge and see what happens" and what happens is that sometimes things break

Lol Stony. He's like a cat and a dog

exactly

Does Stony have anything like catnip? Stonynip? lol

Stoned Stony

The bad jokes/puns write themselves 😆

maybe bloodroot (sanguinaria). It grows wild out here.

I'm not sure he'd have something like that tbh (plus the bloodroot sounds like it could actually hurt him but who knows, we're talking about an eldritch being spawned from a frekin jewel)

which would be funnier: Jack never getting over Stony and freaking out every time he saw it or getting to a point where he just sees it and goes "not you again"

I think the "why not both" option is for him to be in "freak out every time" mode for, like, weeks, then slowly transition to "oh god, you again"

from "oh god, you again"(terrified) to "oh god, you again"(exasperated)

Maybe the MK system and Elsa have an intervention with still-freaking-out-over-Stony Jack to encourage him to chill. If he doesn't he'll repeatedly have coronaries, heal up, then have more. Ugh. 😂

oh yeah, poor him

constantly on the verge of a heart attack

Swan's reaction to Stony would be fun to play with, too.

lmaooo yeah

I fully picture him agreeing with Jack at first that Stony is freaky but then he sees how it treats Elsa and he's like "actually you know what? this thing's chill, I don't even have to clean up after it"

-------------------------

Congrats to anyone who got this far!

There's a backstory to the title of this post. It'll be revealed in a later one.

Also, for anyone who wants to read more Stony hijinx, see my short fic "Something Awful This Way Comes."

[nugget--daddy]

Hi little Nugget!! You kinda asked for this even tho I’m HELLA nosy, so you get hit with it!! Now I’ve concocted the PERFECT list of asks… and you have to answer ALL OF THEM!! *evil cackle*

(But I mean, of course, don’t share anything you’re not comfy with kapeesh? It’s supposed to be fun so let’s keep it that way! You can just skip it if it’s insensitive or if you don’t want to share it alright?)

💣 what is your favorite feature on yourself? (Maybe you brain? :3c)

💣 where are you from? (I have a theory…)

💣 do you have any siblings? (I think I know but gotta confirm…)

💣 dream job? (Name one of mine and you get a kiss.)

💣 favorite hobbies outside of your blog (DEFINITELY know some…)

💣 can you drive? (Can you? I learned in my MS years…)

💣 favorite place you’ve traveled (IF you travel…)

💣 favorite artists (she’s gonna say MCR isn’t she? Well… let’s make sure…)

💣 last song you listened to (Wonder if it’s correspondent to my note above…)

💣 last show you watched (DONT SAY SOUTH PARK!!)

💣 last thing you wrote (ehehe… evil….)

💣 scariest thing that’s happened to you (did I ask already? Well, again!)

💣 craziest thing that’s ever happened to you (mine is def being born 💀💀💀)

💣 favorite food (IF YOU SAY SUSHI—)

💣 least favorite food (let’s not start any fights…)

💣 favorite season? (Now we SHOULD agree…)

💣 favorite genre to read / watch / write (Why do I get the inkling it’s horror…)

💣 if you could make one character real, who would it be (do I even have to ask??)

💣 some place you’d love to visit (Mine’s Tokyo! What’s yours?)

💣 a word your friends would use to describe you (Yeah because YOUR five word description was not very….kind….)

💣 what is your earliest memory (Do you have a good memory even? I’ll bet you do.)

💣 why did you start this blog? (Gotta couple ideas why… but I needa hear it from you!)

💣 when did you start writing fanfic (IF you started writing fanfic.)

💣 how do you come up with the fics you write (we had a chat about inspiration the other day… did we not?)

💣 what is the fic you’re know for (I’m sure you can guess mine…)

💣 what character do you enjoy writing for the most (oh and feel free to answer all these writing questions for an OC or something I don’t mind.)

💣 what character do you not enjoy writing for (UGHHHHHH)

💣 is there a fic you wish you didn’t write (is there? I have plenty.)

💣 what character do you simp for most often (same as the genre…)

💣 favorite characters of all time (List em’!!!)

💣 favorite shows / series of all time (I have a lot…)

💣 a show you would recommend to anyone (don’t you dare say South Park.)

💣 a show you’d tell people to stay away from (…interested….)

💣 favorite kinks to write for (if you write kinks… I know I do!)

💣 kinks you would never write for (list one of my favorites and I might argue you on it… maybe…)

💣 a kink you would like to write but you think you’d be judged (plenty of those out there….)

💣 full fics, imagines or head canons (interpret this one how you like.)

💣 your favorite fanfic from another writer…

A couple of in depth questions!

💣 what is something that’s happened in your life that you wish you could go back and change? (Ooooooh I have TOO MANY of these…)

💣 what is one of your biggest accomplishments? Why is it so important to you? (…lots of these too…)

💣 what is the toughest thing you had to go through, but can say you’ve successfully overcome? (WHAT?! WHAT IS IT??)

💣 what is the best gift someone has ever given you and why is it so important (that plush octopus lol….)

💣 what is your comfort show/series and why is it your comfort show? How has it helped you? (If you answer South Park I might clock out and let the next guy take it 💀)

<3333333 Thank you nugget!!

💥💥💥

💥💥💥

💥💥💥

💥💥💥

💥💥💥

💥💥💥

💥💥💥

💣 what is your favorite feature on yourself? (Maybe you brain? :3c)

Uhhhhhhhhhh my dum charm maybe and my brain??? I dunno???

💣 where are you from? (I have a theory…)

Midwestern usa

💣 do you have any siblings? (I think I know but gotta confirm…)

Two sisters, one’s my half sister, the other is my step sis

💣 dream job? (Name one of mine and you get a kiss.)

Psychiatrist or lawyer

💣 favorite hobbies outside of your blog (DEFINITELY know some…)

Writing, drawing, singing, listening to music, simping for characters, reading

💣 can you drive? (Can you? I learned in my MS years…)

I can drive a golf cart

💣 favorite place you’ve traveled (IF you travel…)

Decora, iowa

💣 favorite artists (she’s gonna say MCR isn’t she? Well… let’s make sure…)

ICP (insane clown posse), Maneskin, and CORPSE. Mcr is one of em too. Gotta love teenagers.

💣 last song you listened to (Wonder if it’s correspondent to my note above…)

Hisoka’s theme

💣 last show you watched (DONT SAY SOUTH PARK!!)

I think it was KIPO and the age of the wonderbeasts 

💣 last thing you wrote (ehehe… evil….)

Besides this and some texts? Notes for social studies. 

💣 scariest thing that’s happened to you (did I ask already? Well, again!)

Uhhhhhhh….getting my blood drawn by four scary needles when i was six or neary dying as a 10 monnth year old and having to get my appendix and part of my bowels removed

💣 craziest thing that’s ever happened to you (mine is def being born 💀💀💀)

Either nearly dyingas a ten month old or getting shoved down the stairs by my cousin and cracking my skull

💣 favorite food (IF YOU SAY SUSHI—)

Its sushi

💣 least favorite food (let’s not start any fights…)

. . . cooked spinach. Or just warm spinach.

💣 favorite season? (Now we SHOULD agree…)

💣 favorite genre to read / watch / write (Why do I get the inkling it’s horror…)

💣 if you could make one character real, who would it be (do I even have to ask??)

DAMMMM- if it was one of my characters, Sabrielle, she could take me to a universe where the characters i like are real or Horror sans. OOO OR MERFY. easy.

💣 some place you’d love to visit (Mine’s Tokyo! What’s yours?)

Salem Massachusetts or Tokyo. 

💣 a word your friends would use to describe you (Yeah because YOUR five word description was not very….kind….)

Dang it. . . skrunkly.

💣 what is your earliest memory (Do you have a good memory even? I’ll bet you do.)

Slapping my bare stomach when i was two.

💣 why did you start this blog? (Gotta couple ideas why… but I needa hear it from you!)

To post some art and like somebody’s art

💣 when did you start writing fanfic (IF you started writing fanfic.)

5th grade, Nightmare’s castle on quotev. Rewriting it on quotev.

💣 how do you come up with the fics you write (we had a chat about inspiration the other day… did we not?)

(i think so.) At first it was by taking quizzes on quotev (which is how i discovered undertale), then it was reading, then it was roleplays, and now its music and daily conversations

💣 what is the fic you’re know for (I’m sure you can guess mine…)

(Playing with my food..?) Uh, probably Nightmare’s castle, my old one. Its how i got 600 followers on quotev.

💣 what character do you enjoy writing for the most (oh and feel free to answer all these writing questions for an OC or something I don’t mind.)

Sabrielle, probably. And Foxglove

💣 what character do you not enjoy writing for (UGHHHHHH)

Nightmare, probably. But not because i dont like him, but HES SO DAMNED HARD TO WRITE

💣 is there a fic you wish you didn’t write (is there? I have plenty.)

Hmmmmmmm…….. Probably ‘Why Does Love Hurt So Much?’

💣 what character do you simp for most often (same as the genre…)

Horror Sans. And Patrick Bateman ngl

💣 favorite characters of all time (List em’!!!)

Horror Sans

Raphael TMNT (my first crush ever was on him dont judge i was in preschool)

Killer Sans 

Butters Skotch (he makes me cry)

Eda (The Owl House)

💣 favorite shows / series of all time (I have a lot…)

💣 a show you would recommend to anyone (don’t you dare say South Park.)

S O U T H  P A R K jk. Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil

💣 a show you’d tell people to stay away from (…interested….)

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

The Tuttle Twins.

💣 favorite kinks to write for (if you write kinks… I know I do!)

💣 kinks you would never write for (list one of my favorites and I might argue you on it… maybe…)

Masochism, non com, degrading, licking/

💣 a kink you would like to write but you think you’d be judged (plenty of those out there….)

Vore.

💣 full fics, imagines or head canons (interpret this one how you like.)

Uhhhhhhhhhh ive never finished one of my fanfiction genre things really

💣 your favorite fanfic from another writer…

Playing With My Food and Azriel And Her Life

A couple of in depth questions!

💣 what is something that’s happened in your life that you wish you could go back and change? (Ooooooh I have TOO MANY of these…)

. . .dude what the fuck almost every day i have something like this. It’s not getting on quotev and losing my parents trust. I guess its being so naive and trusting when i was younger. Letting myself get broken over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

💣 what is one of your biggest accomplishments? Why is it so important to you? (…lots of these too…)Getting top ELA scores in the entire school district. Why? S U P E R O R I TY. Nah, just kidding. All of my life people have called me stupid. Made me think I wasn't competent. No matter how high I score on tests. No matter how easy the “hard” assignments are. And getting that score and standing in front of the school with the certificate? It proved them wrong.

💣 what is the toughest thing you had to go through, but can say you’ve successfully overcome? (WHAT?! WHAT IS IT??)

Uhhhhh….i guess there was a week in March where my depression was really, really, really, really, really bad. I was extremely tired. I could barely move. The tiniest little things set me off.I hurt. I had a bottle of pills i kept in my room…

I wanted to be alone. I wanted the loud to stop. It hurt so much…

I wanted the pain to stop.

I eventually just got over it.

💣 what is the best gift someone has ever given you and why is it so important (that plush octopus lol….)

Hmm…just…being there to talk. I'm not able to share everything but.  .  .

Its better than nothing.              Its nice. I don't like having to stay silent. Sometimes the silence hurts more than the noise.

💣 what is your comfort show/series and why is it your comfort show? How has it helped you? (If you answer South Park I might clock out and let the next guy take it 💀)

I dont really have one….sorry.

Your welcome, i guess!

[choco-mark]

Accidents

pairing: roommate!mark x roommate!oc

genre: smut | my horrible attempt at crack at the end, i apologize in advance

warnings: language, masturbation (fem. + m.), mentions of nudes, voyeurism, hyuck and y/n getting it on, oral (fem. + m. receiving), fingering, handjob, pretty explicit sex, sub!mark but more like nervous!mark, praise kink, moaning kink (kinda), i feel like i just wrote fucking porn 

summary: you keep saying his name as he watches, and he keeps thinking it’s an accident. little does he know that the only accident he created was the one in your pants.

words: 4k 

7 May

“Okay, but I don’t fucking understand why I have to do this,” Donghyuck threw up his hands dramatically, earning him odd stares from around the coffee shop. “This is a team effort. So Renjun, you’re coming with me.”

Renjun looked like he was about to slam his head against the wall, and he sighed. Jeno had his head resting against the table, looking at the younger member with a glint of annoyance in his eyes. “Hyuck. We literally asked you to order coffee. It’s not that hard.”

As the two of them started their regular bickering on a Sunday morning, you were sitting at the table behind the three, with Mark and Jaemin straight across from you. You seemed preoccupied with your phone, at least to Mark, who kept giving you glances as you smiled to yourself. “Y/N? Hello...”

You pressed a few more buttons with a shaky hand, loosing your mind a little as you looked up to give Mark a slight smile. Stuffing your phone back into your pocket, you leaned against the table again. As you started your normal conversation with the two of them, you didn’t realize Mark looking down at his phone to see who had texted him. I’m right in front of her, though. Oh, looks like a picture.

Yeah, Mark regretted ever opening that photo on his phone that morning, nearly flashing it to Jaemin in the process. You were sitting in an open legged fashion, red lingerie decorating your skin without much coverage, showing off places of your body that he had never seen exposed before. He could’ve thrown his phone out of his hand at that moment, maybe even out of the window or at Jaemin’s face, but you were still sitting there all innocent in your oversized sweatshirt, talking to the other boy with a small smile ghosting over your face.

He gulped visibly, shoving his phone back into his pocket and attempting to cover his hard on with the end of his own sweatshirt. Why the fuck did she send me that?..

16 May

It was an accident, that’s what you responded too when you had finally opened up your chat with Mark and had seen your own scantily dressed body with your entire heart beating out of your chest. He had promised that he deleted it as soon as he saw it, his face turned a bright color as you asked him quietly in the living room that afternoon. But, it wasn’t really an accident for you.

You wanted Mark to know how fucking wet you were constantly, every time you accidentally peaked into his room while he was changing, or even when he was sitting on the couch with his legs spread wide. He looked so inviting all the time, and you wanted that for yourself. Yet, you could never seem to actually get it. You were going to send your nudes to a group of your friends to ask them if they were good enough for an impression, however you had pressed on the victim’s contact, sending it to the poor boy. The worst part was that Mark seemed so unaffected by the entire issue, just shrugging it off when you apologized and assuring you that it was fine. It silently made you want to throw yourself out the window and fall to your misery, mainly since his entire expression just read a blatant ‘I don’t even care.’

But Mark did care. He did care that he couldn’t get the image of you dressing up like that in a room that was right beside his out of his head. He did care that you had placed your phone in a tilted fashion to get that angle of your body, and it drove him crazy. Drove him insane, to be honest, considering you, his very hot roommate, were always right there in his sight. And god he had nothing more in his mind other than for you to sit on his dick.

Though he already was so turned on by the fact that you—existed, the entire memory of you wearing that pretty lace always flowed back to his brain whenever he was doing anything. He might be in the middle of a lecture, taking notes normally and paying attention until he sees your name pop up on his phone. He might be laying on his bed contemplating whether or not he should finish a huge project that he had been assigned weeks ago, until he hears your giggle from outside his room. He might even be in the shower, quietly massaging liquid into his skin until his eyes fell upon your toiletries. Except every time he was in the shower, the blood would flow straight to his dick, and with a little less embarrassment as he fastened his own hand around the appendage. And it felt so good jerking off to the thought of you, and even though he had been a man of his word and had deleted the photo of you, that didn’t stop him from engraving it deep into his mind. Yet it was so wrong, so fucking wrong and he knew that when you would burst into the bathroom while he was having his own fun time and grab something you had forgotten.

Mark had returned from his last class for the day, completely exhausted from the entire day that he had just spent. It was supposed to be just a peek, a peek to see what the noises from inside of your bedroom were, yet it was much more than you just having stubbed your toe as he assumed. You were laying on your bed, legs spread wide with your hand between the sweatshirt that was just too long for him to catch a glimpse past, to see what action was actually happening. 

He stifled a gasp in his throat when you arched your back suddenly, your head rolling back on your shoulders as you let out a loud whine. Just your sounds were making him harder by the second, and surely a few seconds later there was a nice familiar tent in his pants, one that he was now groaning over. God, how much he wanted to yank back the troublesome fabric to give him a better view of you, but he didn’t make a move. In fact, he froze at the sound of his name tumbling from your lips without even a gasp of hesitation, his brain going into a malfunctioning mode as you finally removed your hand. Mark could tell from the juices that were practically dripping from your fingers, that you had relieved yourself—and you collapsed down against your bed, your eyes fluttering shut from the feeling. 

Oh how much he wanted to open that door just a little more, show you that he had seen all of your sinful actions with his blessed eyes, but he took a step back, groaning softly as he palmed himself over his jeans. He stumbled to his room, slamming the door shut without a second thought, the only thing on his mind being the sound of your voice moaning his name so lewdly. Fuck, he liked it way too much.

24 May

“Fuck, I don’t care!” Your voice was a frustrated one, coming from the living room so loudly as Mark woke up from his midday slumber, having been met with the sound of your voice immediately. “Just do your job and make me fucking cum already!” There was a bright giggle after your words, one that he recognized as his one and only best friend, Lee Donghyuck’s.

“Wow, you’re a demanding one,” he commented, his unusually low voice being cut off to be matched with the sounds of your moans filling the apartment. Mark widened as he realized what was happening, his face turning a nice shade of red as he couldn’t help but prop open the door, looking out from his room to get a good look at what was happening.

Donghyuck was perched between your wide spread legs, his colored hair blocking the most important part of your body in his view. You were still wearing a shirt, but your bra was on the side of the couch you were sitting on, disregarded as he slipped a hand up to your breasts, flicking the nipple over with his thumb as his fingers presumably slid into your hole. Mark couldn’t tell, not from the angle he was seeing you, which was just as frustrating to the fact that he would’ve done absolutely anything to be Donghyuck in that moment, but he also could tell. 

Your mouth was slightly parted open, small puffs of breath coming out of you while your fingers pressed into the nape of the other boy’s neck. Mark hadn’t even noticed that Donghyuck had been lapping at your clit until he pulled away, moving his mouth to leave wet kisses all over your inner thighs. You were still writhing above him, his fingers pumping in and out of you with a delicious sound filling the air: a sound that was so fucking filthy, but was making you feel like heaven was on earth.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m so close,” you let out a whine as your hands were now gripping at your shirt, holding onto it so desperately as your eyes squeezed shut, your entire face contorting as the boy between your legs just chuckled, teasing you to follow your words. “Don’t stop—shit, shit, oh fuck—” You looked so ethereal to Mark, your sounds having already caused his dick to be set on fire as it was now being stroked in his hand ever so quietly, just wishing that it was you touching him in the same fashion. “Mark—fuck,” he could’ve sworn that he fucking ascended into the afterlife as his name fell from your lips again, the action only making Donghyuck break out into a soft giggle as he removed his fingers from your pussy, inching them up to pop them in your mouth.

“You’re a dirty girl. Moaning your roommate’s name when he’s right here? Did I not do good enough for your pretty cunt?” Though his words held some truth, Mark had already backed his way into his room again, his ears only registering the way you groaned in annoyance and swore that you wouldn’t suck him off tomorrow if he kept teasing you about Mark. “That’s alright, darling,” his voice was muffled now, the sounds of shuffling and hurried movements filling the room. He assumed that the two of you were dressing. “You know you’ll be stuffed with my cock anyway!”

That last comment had rang through Mark’s brain for the next few minutes, his eyes fluttering shut as the image of you on your knees took up his mind, your eyes that were widening at his length and the pretty lace lingerie that you had worn in that picture decorating your skin perfectly. Your cheeks completely hollowed out with his cock edging down your throat, the gags, the tears, the whines of pleasure. If he came right from that thought, he wouldn’t admit it to anyone.

30 May

Mark was going feral. Yes, feral because his roommate was so fucking hot and he couldn’t even control his carnal instincts right now. You had been driving him mad for the past—literally, it felt like forever in his mind, because every time he had gotten closer and closer to his fantasies, it seemed to be ripped away from him just as fast as he could achieve them. He felt like he was having some kind of weird hormone boost as he paced around his room, feeling the blooming sensation from low in his stomach rising and falling with every single thought going towards you.

Everything about you was inviting: your smile, your touches, your body, your voice. Mark couldn’t really say he was a sex expert, only having had done the deed only twice in his entire existence, but you were making him feel like he was getting more experiences that he even had in the first place. Yet, most of them were unannounced peeks of his naughty eyes.

He knew that every time you sank your fingers deep inside your pussy and allowed those soft walls to clench around them, that you would cry out his name with a type of bubbling noise in your throat. The same cry that made him want to leave everything he was doing at the moment just to fuck you until you were a blabbering mess. Yes, he had so many fantasies about you, so many more than he could ever admit to any of the other boys, and most definitely not you.

But this time it was really an accident. 

Mark had a really nice shower, at least it was one that allowed him to take his time and...fulfill his desires. It was late at night, probably past midnight as he finally emerged from the bathroom, walking into the living room at a slow pace. However, when he reached the living room with a hand ruffling at his hair, he froze to the sight he was welcomed with; he would’ve died from embarrassment, he thought later, if that was him in that position. Yet, since it was you, it didn’t even hit him how flustered you were.

Your legs were spread out in the same fashion that they always were, except this time, everything was exposed. The crease of your folds caught his eyes, the arousal dripping from your core staining the neutral color of the couch so beautifully that he could’ve stared at it for hours just knowing it was you that caused it. The tips of your fingers were rubbing at your clit, almost violently from the way you were trying to chase after your high, but Mark could’ve sworn that was probably the most attractive thing he had seen in so long, and he had been secretly watching you for ages, it felt. 

“Mark, oh my god,” you kept arching your back, trying to get the release that you knew you needed to get, but it never seemed to come. Your frustration rang through the apartment, bouncing off of the walls as your moved your hand away, both of them now gripping your thighs. “Fuck,” Mark thought you were about to cry from the way you finally opened your eyes, ready to get back to work until they fell on him at the side of the room, watching you intently. 

As much as you wanted Mark to throw you against the wall and fuck you until you were begging for him to stop, your eyes still went wide at the sight of him. He looked so fresh in the moment, his hair still dripping slightly of the water he had showered in, his skin glowing and face flushed from how turned on he was getting. A smirk grew from your lips, stretching across your face as you tilted your head at him. He was much more shy than you expected him to be, but that only piqued your curiosity, wanting to push him even further. “Mark?”

He visibly flinched at the sound of his name. “Y-Yeah?”

“How long have you been there?” You noticed his eyes were flitting from between your legs to up to your face, his cheeks deepening in its reddening color as he blinked, not sure how to answer. “Mark—you know it’s rude to stare, hmm?” You couldn’t help but tease the boy a little, but he didn’t even make an effort to look away, even though he mumbled an apology.

“Are you just gonna stand there?” You dipped your fingers back between your folds, gathering the liquid around there with his following eyes, before you held them out for him to get a good look at. “You don’t want a taste?” You edged your fingers past your lips, tasting your own juices while Mark’s own tongue darted out from his mouth, licking his lips like he could taste you. “You’re practically drooling over me already, you don’t want to help? I’ve been on edge for so long...”

He walked over with a stumble, only focusing on how wet your fingers were from barely touching yourself in that moment, but you hoisted your feet up onto the couch, giving him an even better view. He didn’t initiate anything at first, looking into your eyes that were burning into his with a dark color of lust. “Come on, Mark. Touch me.”

He didn’t think you would be this bold, but he dropped to his knees anyway, liking your demanding words with so much fire in his blood. Out of all the ways he imagined pleasuring you, he didn’t think it would happen like this: in the middle of the living room where you had shared hundreds of innocent memories, or in the middle of the night, probably only a few hours until your morning lecture. But his hands barely brushed past your inner thighs, your breath hitching at the touch.

“Mark—” you elongated the sound of his name, whining out to let him know how much you were affected by him. Little did you know that he was being ten times more affected, his dick hardened to the point where he thought he was gonna explode. A digit prodded at your hole, and he looked up at you with caution in his eyes. You nodded reassuringly, guiding his finger into you with ease. A soft groan left your lips, your eyes shutting tightly at the feeling of his warm flesh. “Move, Mark.”

He added another finger without your help, the fulfilling feeling of your core reaching as he filled you up. He was pumping slowly, however, watching your each and every move. You could tell that he was inexperienced, but he seemed to know exactly how he was making you feel as he picked up his pace. Mark’s eyes were now fastened on your pussy, almost drooling at the sight of something so beautiful in his view. “Am I doing good?”

You forced your eyes open to look down at the boy, who was blinking up at you with those huge doe eyes that you swore looked too innocent to be true. “Yes, baby, you’re doing so good. Your fingers fuck me so—well.” He curled the digits, managing to keep your legs apart as you choked on the last word, the sensation basically taking your breath away. The pet name made him shiver, but he liked it, only repeating the motion again and again. “Oh fuck, fuck, ‘m gonna cum, please, fuck—”

Mark trailed his eyes back up to your face, and you honestly looked like you were having the time of your life when you came, soaking his fingers perfectly. You watched as he pulled them out, giving them a look of thought before looking up at you in some kind of anticipation. “Go ahead, baby,” you reached over to smooth a hand down his hair, pulling his wrist closer to his mouth. “I thought you wanted to taste me? Isn’t that what you wanted?” He nodded cautiously, letting you pop his fingers into his mouth and humming at the taste. 

Your gaze fluttered down to between his own legs, your eyes falling on the bulge that looked almost painful through his gray sweatpants. Mark’s eyes were closed until he felt your hand lingering on the skin on his neck, and he blinked at the sight of you looking down at him. He was on his knees, peering up at you with a flushed face that made you want to giggle, and you gave him a small smile. “Can you sit down on the couch for me, baby? Hmm?”

The pet name slipped from your mouth so casually that he couldn’t help but gape at you, shuffling up to his feet with his stare fixed on you. You latched your hands onto his shirt, pushing him back against the soft cushions as he widened his eyes at your movements. “You’re such a good boy,” you cooed softly, allowing a hand to lift the hem of his shirt as you watched him flinch. He visibly swelled at your praise, responding with a sharp breath as you lowered the waistband of his pants. You grazed your palm against his boxers, rubbing a thumb against him. “You—like that, hmm?”

You straddled his thighs, leaning down to mouth as his toned stomach, smoothing the skin underneath your fingertips as you pulled down his boxers, letting yourself take a look at him. His dick was already erect and throbbing, basically waiting for you to do something—anything, to relieve the painful pressure. He wasn’t the biggest you had seen, but you could almost swear that it was the prettiest dick you had seen. With a look up at him, you pressed your thumb against the tip, teasing the slit with slow movements. 

His body fell under a heat again, allowing him to let out a strangled breath as your hand grasped him from the base. Out of all the times he had caught you, and out of all the hundreds of times you had said his name, this time was best. “Mark,” you rubbed his thigh to gain his attention. “Look at me.” He complied gladly, his eyes fixed on yours as your mouth enclosed the tip of his cock. You sucked him along with your increasing pace of your hand, enjoying how he was falling apart under the tips of your fingers. He looked so ethereal in that moment, at least to you, his head thrown back against the couch. You swirled your tongue around him once more before letting go of him with a pop, a string of saliva falling hot from your mouth as you continued to jerk him off. 

“Fuck...” You pulled yourself up with a hand on his arm, smashing your lips against his. It was the first kiss, taking him by surprise as he could barely move them against you. You let your tongue lick at his bottom lip, letting you inch in to suck on his tongue. Mark let out a whine, making you moan at his sounds. “Y/N, I’m c-close.”

You closed your eyes as you trailed your lips down his neck, nipping at the skin to savor to the taste. You could feel him tensing up from below, his body tightening as your let your hand glide over his cock without end. “Cum for me, baby. Make a mess.” His hands finally laid on your hips, pressing into your skin so hard that you were sure it was going to leave nice future bruises. 

“Ah, Y/N—” You giggled as Mark struggled to get a hold of his words, mumbling nonsense as cum spurted from his cock, covering your hand with the milky liquid. Some of it spilled onto the dark color of his shirt, decorating him with a muffled moan from him. You made sure to milk him of every last drop, watching in awe to how much he came for you; it even surprised him, considering he had came twice in the shower beforehand, and was able to do so again just to the sight and feel of you. 

There was a moment on silence as you rested your head against his chest, moving your hands over his, that were still grasping onto your body. You listened to the racing of his heart, hearing his breaths as he calmed himself down to a normal beat once again. “Wow,” was all he said, the exclamation coming out more as a lost breath rather than a word. “That was—wow.”

You let out another chuckle, peeking up at him. “Wanna join me for a shower?” He pursed his lips, feeling his heart speed up once again at the sight of your huge eyes. Did he just take a shower not even a few minutes earlier? Yes. Was he about to reject the chance to see you fully naked? No. “Mark? What’s wrong?”

“Just give me a moment, bro. You kinda just jerked me off right in front of my face.”

“You did not just call me bro after that!” You said with an incredulous voice, your eyes widening. “Do I look like a bro to you, Mark Lee?! Like you said, I just jerked you off!”

“I’m kidding! Calm down!”

[sunnydaisy1]

Med Students

JACKSON AVERY X OC  (nr i just found it easier to write with a set name)

A/N: I have been watching too much grey’s atm and I know i have lots of requests to write and a wattpad story to update but the Jackson inspiration is too much ahhh.

I walked through the halls beside Alex as we made our way to the reception. Apparently we had all been paged and we didnt know what for. As we entered the large area, I saw all the residents gathered and I squeezed passed a few people until I reached Jackson and Mer. "Hey guys what's going on?" I asked, pulling Karev away from Arizona. "Fresh meat." Jackson said, nodding towards the line of sweating students. I grinned, nudging Jacksons arm, "oh how fun." He rolled his eyes but a small smile played on his lips as he turned his attention to Chief Webber. "Alright people today we are joined by a group of first year medical students who you will be supervising." He spoke, giving us all a stern look to silence the mumbles of disgust. "Your surgeries are their surgeries so look after them and try to be nice please. Oh and I will be choosing a chief resident soon so behave. Dr Grey will read out who you have been designated." Alex mumbled something beside me which caused Mer to slap him hard and I sighed, knowing this was going to be a long day. Lexie stepped forward, holding a clipboard and scanned the room for silence before proceeding. "Okay Marcus is with April." April waved and the med student headed over to her, leaving for rounds. I glanced up at Jackson who was furrowing his eyebrows. My gaze turned back to the pale interns and Lexie. "Meredith has Helen, Christina has David." The two med students walked over nervously and I laughed at Christina's merciless glare. There was 1 pretty girl left who I could tell was eyeing Alex up. "Dibs." Alex called, nudging Jackson and I rolled my eyes at their boyish behaviour. "No fair." Jackson said, shoving Karev back. "You fancy Ma.." Alex started but Jackson elbowed him in the side and I turned round, shaking my head. They both looked at me sheepishly and I turned back round as Lexie announced who Alex was going with. "Alex you're with Lydia." He triumphantly clapped Jackson on the back before heading over to his newfound 'love.' I patted Jackson's back, "Looks like you've either got the greasy dork or mr handsome." Jackson frowned down at me, "mr handsome?" I poked his cheek as Lexie continued to read out the other residents students, "not talking 'bout you." Jackson gave me a lopsided grin as he turned back to face Lex. "Maddie you're with Sam." A tall brunette stepped forward, a handsome grin on his face. "Greasy dork it is." I said to Jackson, walking off to meet my student. I heard him sigh which made me grin as I stopped in front of Sam. "Hey I'm Maddie, you must be Sam." I extended my hand out to him and he smoothly shook it. "Nice to meet you Maddie." I smiled at him and started walking off in the direction of Trauma. "Okay so today we will be under Dr Hunt who is head of Trauma. If you have any questions dont be afraid to ask but try not to get in anyones way." Sam nodded, "okay ma'am." He grinned at me as we stopped outside the ER. "It can be a little shocking seeing a proper trauma in real life for the first time so if you need to step out just do it." Sam nodded as my face turned serious. 

I stepped backwards, opening the door to the ER and walking through the the small corridor that led to the ambulance bay. "Okay we need to put on these yellow gowns and then we are good to go." I said, tossing Sam a large yellow gown. I spotted Jackson walking through the ER doors and I smiled inwardly at his pained expression, probably from his pestering student behind him. I unfolded my over gown and pulled it on, nodding at Sam who was tying his up. I was struggling to sort out the crumpled part at the back when I felt a pair of warm hands move mine away and I turned round and smiled at Jackson who grinned at me and finished tying a bow with the strings. I blushed slightly and walked over to Hunt and Torres with Sam beside me. "Morning all." I said, peering at the two grave attendings beside me. They grunted in return. I felt a nudge beside me, "hm?" I asked, preoccupied with watching Jackson cross his arms over his chest. "Is that one over there your boyfriend?" Sam asked and I blushed, quickly averting my gaze back to my smirking student. "What? No!" I said, frowning. "Okay cool." He continued before looking around at the ambulance bay. JACKSONS POV "Hey uh Dr Avery?" The greasy med student beside me asked as I watched Maddie talk to Sam and giggle on the other side of Hunt. "Yeh?" I asked curtly, fed up with this guys constant questions. "Is the ambulance coming?" He said, pushing his glasses back up his nose. I narrowed my eyes at him and titled my head to look at him, "yes." I said aggressively and James nodded, fiddling with his yellow gown. "Who's uh..who's the resident over there?" James asked, trying to continue the conversation. "Maddie." I responded, tensing as mr handsome nudged her. "Oh okay." He nodded and my attention was snagged from Maddie and her flirting student to the blaring sirens of an ambulance pulling up into the bay. Hunt and Torres stepped forward as the paramedics stepped out the doors and lifted the patient down. "Amanda Hart, 45 years old, multiple burns on her left arm and a large gash on both her legs, possible fracture on the left femur." The medic stated, helping us wheel her into the ER. I felt James shuffle beside me, awkwardly moving around the gurney. "Dude move out the way." I grunted, frustration clouding my brain. Hunt glanced over at me and I cringed, I really needed to impress all the attendings if I'm gonna be chief resident. When we had wheeled Mrs Hart into a bay and transferred her to a hospital gurney, I glanced up at Maddie who was working furiously, sanitizing the wound on the patients right leg. I shook my head to clear it and focused on the patient who was screaming in pain. MADDIES POV When we had finally given some pain meds to Mrs Hart and the bleeding was under control and she had an MRI, I sat on a stool alongside her arm where she needed a few stitches. Sam was listening to Torres explain something about a dislocated shoulder and Jackson's student was standing close beside him on the other side of the room as he finished suturing a young man. "Almost done Mrs Hart." I said sweetly to the middle aged woman watching me. "Thank you sweetie, you're a real star." She replied as I tied off the thread. I smiled at her and stood up, walking over to Hunt. "Need anything sir?" I asked, the ER was kinda slow today and I didnt want to spend all of today stitching up people, plus Sam should get a full insight of a hospital. "Uh no thanks Johnson, if you're looking for something interesting to show your med student you could observe in OR 2, Sloan's building some cheek bones." I nodded, grinning and heading over to Sam who was laughing alongside Callie. "Hey Maddie." Sam said, smiling broadly. "I've finished Mrs Harts sutures and I was wondering if you wanted to come see cheek bones being constructed?" I said nonchalantly as if I hadn't just suggested going to see a really cool surgery. "Really? Oh my god please." Sam said, gobsmacked. I nodded, "yep, go tell Dr Avery and his student, I think they've finished with their patient." Sam grinned and walked over to Jackson. "You know if you totally didnt fancy the crap out of Avery you could go hook up with Sam right now." Callie suddenly said as I watched my favourite resident talk to Sam. "Wait what?" I asked, turning my attention the the grinning Mexican. "might want to wait til after work though, if the chief found out that would be messy." I stared wide eyed at Callie, "wh..how?..howd you know I like Jackson?" The grinning attending turned towards me, "you told alex and alex told arizona who told mark who told me, word travels fast around this hospital Maddie." I gaped at her gobsmacked, shocked that all those people knew, I was gonna kill Alex. "Oh and the fact that you two never stop eye-fucking each other across the room." Callie added and walked off leaving me embarassed and blushing. I tried to act normal as I walked across the room to Sam. "Ready to go?" I asked and he nodded enthusiastically. "Wait hang on, dont leave without me." I heard Jackson pipe up behind me before placing his hands on my shoulders. "Alrighty then let's go." We walked quickly to OR 2, Sam and the student who's name I learned was James walked a little ahead, chatting about what they had seen today. "Hows Mr handsome?" Jackson asked beside me, his piercing green eyes glinting with humour. "Good, not that annoying and easy on the eyes." I responded, grinning at my fellow resident. "Oh lucky you." Jackson said, grumbling, "greasy mcdorkface over there wont shut the hell up." I laughed and shoved him slightly, causing a shit-eating grin to spread over his face. "Meanie." I said, glancing up at Jackson. "I'm not the mean one you called him a greasy dork first." He replied, crossing his arms over his chest in victory. "Yeah but we're all dorks so doesn't really count." I said, my side brushing against Jacksons. "I'm not a dork." He said defensively and I chuckled, "sure you're not Avery." "You're more dorky than me." Jackson poked me and I grinned at him, "that's why you love me." Jackson beamed and watched Sam and James stop outside OR 2. "I'll ask Sloan if we can watch." I said, walking past the two students and holding a mask over my mouth. I noticed Alex and Lydia standing very close together opposite Mark and I rolled my eyes, "Hey Dr Sloan do you mind if Jackson and our students watch the surgery?" Mark looked up at me from the patient and grinned cheekily, "depends if you and avery are gonna watch the surgery or undress each other with your eyes." I felt my face heat up and I glared at Alex who was grinning amused across the room. "Uh no." I replied, avoiding the gazes of the nurses. Mark nodded, "then you can come in." I walked back to the door and nodded, letting Sam, James and Jackson into the room, each now wearing a mask. JACKSONS POV We watched Sloan's surgery for 2 hours before Maddie got paged to the ER and I got paged to Bailey. James and I were walking out of OR 2, discarding our masks when the awkward student spoke up, "that was really cool." I nodded, trying to be a little nicer to him, "yeah it was, plastics is really interesting and Sloans a great surgeon." James nodded and walked alongside me down to the nurses station. "Is Maddie your girlfriend?" He asked suddenly out of the blue and I scoffed, "no." James frowned and adjusted his glasses, "do you want her to be?" I glanced at the dorky man beside me and chuckled a little at his attempt to get me to like him. "That's a yes then." James answered, smiling a little at my amused expression. "Yeah." I smiled at him as we turned the corner to the Nurses station. "You know if you fancy her you should just tell her, I think she likes you as well." James said, following me to the chart rack. "What?" I asked, confused why he would think that. "She likes you back Dr Avery. She kept on looking at you when we were in surgery and Sam told me she never stops talking about you." James continued, making me frown. "Thanks mate but I'm not so sure." I replied and James shrugged as we walked over to Bailey, arms laden with charts. Bailey brought me to check up on some post op patients and let James do a few checks himself. I couldnt stop thinking about what he said and I was looking forward to having lunch in a bit when I could see Maddie again. MADDIES POV Sam and I left Mark's OR after 3 and a half hours to grab food and let him go for lunch with the rest of his fellow students. "I think you guys are having lunch in the canteen with us." I said, leading Sam to the loud room filled with doctors. "Cool." He replied, walking closely beside me. We entered the canteen and I saw the rest of the residents sitting on a table in the middle with their students sitting a few tables away. I walked over with Sam to get a plate of food and followed him towards the students table where Alex happened to be sitting beside his pretty student. JACKSONS POV I watched as Maddie collected her food alongside Sam, smiling and laughing with him before heading towards his table. "Whys she over there with him?" I asked, absent mindedly eating my sandwich. "Why jealous?" Christina grinned at me triumphantly and I scoffed, glaring at her, "No." Mer chuckled as she slurped on her milkshake. I looked over again to Maddie who was now standing beside Sam's seat, talking to the table of students. "That dude's been flirting with her all morning." I grumbled, chewing on my straw. "Jackson stop being a wimp and just ask her out." Lexie spoke up from across the table. "Urgh no, I've tried before and she ends up inviting one of you guys." I replied, slumping in my seat and shooting daggers in the back of Sam's head. "Well then you just need to clarify it's a date. Maddie's a bit oblivious to stuff like that Jackson." Lexie continued, smiling at my distraught appearance. "What if she doesn't like me back, then i've ruined our friendship completely." I added, miserably picking at my plate.  "Oh grow a pair avery." Christina said, making me roll my eyes at her as Maddie walked over. "Hey guys." She said sweetly, sitting beside me in the empty seat I had saved for her. I grunted in response, intent on picking at my sandwich. "What's up with you?" She asked, nudging me and frowning adorably. I bit into my sandwich and mumbled, "nothin." Maddie shrugged and started chatting with Lexie about the med students and Mark's surgery. I continued to stay in a grump, mulling over how Maddie was gonna reject me when I asked her out later. I was fiddling with the lid of my drink when Maddie whispered to me, "Hey Jackson you okay?" I nodded and continued to listen absent mindedly to Christina complaining. "You sure cos you seem a little sad." Maddie continued, nudging my shoulder with hers. My heart fluttered at her sweet actions and I just nodded, mumbling "I'm fine." Maddie seemed to accept this but placed her blueberry muffin on my tray anyway, knowing it would cheer me up a little. I smiled slightly at her and she grinned back, now trying to make Christina see sense about her Cardio problems. TIME SKIP TO END OF DAY MADDIES POV Everyone was in a bit of a mood now after their review from their med student delivered by the Chief. My review was excellent so I wasnt annoyed but the depressing atmosphere in the residents lounge was starting to get to me. Everyone was already changed but I was still in my pale blue scrubs as Callie had needed my assistance on a surgery 10 minutes ago. I opened my locker before taking my scrub shirt off, placing it on the side and pulling my long sleeved top over my head. I turned around to get my jeans and when I faced back around, jackson was making his way across the room to me. I pulled my scrub pants off and tossed them to the side with my top, yanking on my jeans. Jackson leaned on the locker beside mine as I buttoned up my pants. "What's up?." I said, discarding my scrubs into the bin at the end. I reached into my locker to collect my stuff and looked at the green eyed boy expectantly. "Uh I was urm wondering if you wanted to go uh.. to go to Joe's with me?" He stuttered and I nodded, piling my stuff into my bag and pulling on my coat, "oh yeah sure, I need to talk to Mer about something anyway." Jackson took a step towards me as I closed my locker and put my keys in my pocket. "Urh no not urm not like that." He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "What?" I said confused, frowning up at him. "Urm like a uh like a date." He continued and I frowned even more, confused as to what the hell he was talking about. "A date with Mer?" I asked puzzled, "Jackson shes marri..." I started but he placed his hands on my shoulders and laughed, making me smile slightly confused. "No a date with me idiot." I instantly felt my face heat up and I felt like an utter dork, "oh." I nervously looked into Jacksons eyes and felt my heart beat rapidly in my chest, "uh yeah, yeah I'd like that." I replied, tucking my hair behind my ear. Jackson grinned at me and I felt a wide smile spread out on my own face, still hot with adrenaline. We stayed grinning at each other and I glanced down to his mouth and back up, scanning his slightly blushing face. Jackson took a step forward, leaning down slightly and I felt the world whoosh around me, all sound and movement blocked out apart from the man in front of me. He stopped an inch away from my face, looking directly at my lips, I could feel his cool breath fanning over me. He looked up into my eyes, his green ones shining. "Can I kiss you?" He breathed out, eyes flicking between my eyes. I nodded slightly, not trusting myself to speak. 

At once, I felt Jackson's plump warm lips press against mine, pushing me back slightly as he cupped my jaw and cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and I relaxed into his kisses, kissing him back softly. I reached behind his neck and hooked my arms over his shoulders, deepening the kiss. I felt his left hand snake down to my waist, brushing under my tshirt and to the waistband of my jeans as he ran his tongue over my bottom lip. I moaned slightly and opened my mouth, letting him slip his tongue in. He brought his hand further round my back, moving his warm hands against the bare skin. I continued to kiss him passionately, feeling the rising temperature in the room. Jackson ran a hand along the front of my waist and his fingers dipped slightly under my jeans waistband. I moaned slightly in response but pulled away, not wanting to get too far ahead of myself. I kept my eyes closed and rested my forehead against his, "I dont want to get carried away." I whispered, breathing heavily. I opened my eyes to see Jackson looking down at me, his green eyes shining. "Let's go." He said, taking my hand in his and placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

[goldenworldsabound]

Wendy!!! What would a crossover between your main faves (Viren, Kunikida, Fitzgerald, and Zhongli) be like?? Like if they all switched up their source material?? :Oc I imagine it would be very chaotic

I've been thinking about this all day, Day (...day day uwu).

(because I'm a little compulsive I have to correct main to currently fixated on faves BUT YES!!!)

I've thought about faves interacting before and it's one of my BIG FAVORITE INDULGENT THINGS to think about

Viren and Fitzgerald are an interesting pair - I think that Viren, while he appears fairly confident and powerful, is actually full of self doubt and insecurities, and someone as truly self confident and cocky as Fitzgerald would absolutely rub him the wrong way and appear as a Threat to him. So he hates Fitzgerald almost immediately fkdjahfkjdsa

Fitzgerald, on the other hand, is like. I feel like generally he's ambivalent about most folks unless they're his employees, get in his way, or do something of note. People are generally a means to an end. So he's mostly ambivalent to Viren and doesn't really see him as a threat so fdskjahfdjsa

You have Viren trying to one up Fitzgerald repeatedly while Fitzgerald is just like that's nice old sport. fkjdahfkjdahs

Kunikida wants nothing to do with either of them most likely BUT I feel like he'd get along well with Zhongli and Xiao (who I had to add into this even though you didn't mention him fkjdsahfk I just had to!). I don't think Kunikida would be much bothered by Xiao's stand offish nature, and I think he and Zhongli would get along pretty well and could chat about things for a while. I think that Xiao would find Kunikida agreeable ("as far as humans go" he clarifies) since he's generally pretty rational. Zhongli is interested in the concept of Kunikida's ideals as a kind of contract with the self in particular I think.

Throwing this under a cut as it continues to grow fkjdsha

You've triggered my trap card which is my slowly developing crackship between Kunikida and Zhongli. I call it a crackship BUT I was thinking about how I decided my bsd si plays videogames, so why not have her show them to Kunikida, and why not have one be Genshin? I think it's kind of fun to imagine Kunikida wanting to self ship into Genshin and even having his own faves.

Immediately I think Kunikida would be a geo polearm user. It just fits. I also just like. I JUST REALLY THINK HE WOULD HAVE A CRUSH ON ZHONGLI OKAY LIKE??? This man is BI and Zhongli is really pretty and I think he's just like. 😳 about him. Okay!!! And contracts and ideals are somewhat similar in ways, and I just feel like they'd really deeply respect the way the other views things and I just...I ship it okay. I said crackship but actually I think it's really cute fjdksahfkjdsahfd and of course they can both date me as well uwu

SO yeah Kunikida the geo polearm user who left Inazuma prior to it getting locked down, because he was curious about the teachings and ideals of Rex Lapis, as he felt them as aligned to his own. He runs into a man named Zhongli who becomes his sparring partner and tea buddy, and he's also taking on commissions as part of the Adventurer's Guild, and ends up with a partner named Wendy who he's frankly worried is going to get herself killed one day if he doesn't help her. He then has a bi panic because BOTH OF THEM??? ARE LOVELY??? and then later he gets to date them both the end fdjsafkdsah thinks about this AU more than I meant to

I also considered a few others in Genshin recently

Fitzgerald is an electro claymore user. He's a very rich man in Fontaine who lost his daughter. It was at that time he received his electro vision, because his entire goals and hopes and dreams revolve around bringing her back to life, ie maintaining things as they had been, or in fewer words eternity. Given the Inazuma has contracted Fontaine for mechanical works even under the lockdown decree, he wants to get himself over there to get an audience with the Raiden Shogun to figure out if she can help him in his pursuit of eternity. He's bold. Very bold.

As for Viren. I think that Viren would fit most involved in Khaenri'ah somehow. For those not super familiar with Genshin, Khaenri'ah was a human civilization that had no god, but made incredible technology some of which still tries to kill you today, even though they were destroyed 500 years ago by "the gods" (not like Zhongli and Venti, like the gods ABOVE them). They seem to also have some magic of their own, if Dainsleif is any indication. Most of them got turned to Abyss Mages and other monsters 500 years ago...it just kinda feels like this lines up well with dark magic in my brain. So Viren might be one who didn't get turned into an Abyss Mage, and he's pissed at the gods, and probably helping run the Abyss' plots and plans while fronting as a human somewhere else. Maybe Mondstadt.

ANYWAY YEAH that's a lot of me rambling. Not entirely on focus either so apologies KFHWJFWKJE but I had a lot of fun thinking about this!!!

[2018shawn]

Ruin the Friendship

OMG to the anon that requested this I am SO sorry it took me this long and it’s probably not up to expectation I've just been struggling to write djbsndfa HOWEVER, this was my interpretation of the song and I hope you enjoy. I did intend for it to be more sexy but it turned out more goof so soz about tht OH and I also wrote this with a OC I dunno why it just happened but there u go 

Warnings: suggestions of smut, swearing, MY WRITING, alcohol consumption etc etc 

Remy’s phone balanced against a stack of books, just enough so that she was in view of the front facing camera, not really giving too much attention to how she looked. Her screen was dominated by a mop of brown curls and just, and I mean - just - underneath them, she could make out the facial structure of her closest friend, neighbour and music mogul, known to the world as Shawn Mendes. To her, he was known as annoying neighbour that A) played guitar ridiculously late at night, especially in the room that backed onto her bedroom. B) never had milk and would knock at stupid o’clock in the morning to get some because he was fuelled by coffee and fancy tea’s and C) wasn’t there half the time, meaning she had 2 lots of post to check for every morning. He was in the midst of rambling and from what she could gather, he was throwing a party for absolutely no particular reason other than the weather was nice and doesn’t that make you wanna have a beer?

“No, Shawn. I don’t really drink beer, so I can’t say it does” She replied, rolling her eyes behind her quirky, but necessary, reading glasses as her fingers swiftly tapped away at her keyboard, trying to get down as many words as she could. 

“Ok... vodka? gin?...” he started, and she gave me him a raised eyebrow kinda look as she finally turned her attention to him. “Tequilaaaaa?” He dragged out, putting on a face that the angels could have sculpted themselves.

“Jesus, no. Absolutely not.” The last time Shawn made her do a tequila shot, he demanded that she did it from his I want to run my tongue over stomach, to which she was absolutely mortified and knew that there was no chance in hell she could keep her cool, or stop her lips from going further south, if she was to lick or suck anywhere near that region. He finally let her settle for shotting it from the glass like a normal human being and that was the last she remembered of the night, “I’ll have water, I got a lot of work to do tomorrow”.

He plumped out his bottom lip at her response, but quickly raised a point. “So, that means you’re coming?” He was moving about in the screen, and she guessed he was just pacing around his apartment because he was the most restless person she’d ever met. She’d never known him to be home longer than 1 week at a time, so it was a rarity that he was currently on day 3 and quite possibly throwing a party out of boredom, not good will. 

“Not necessarily... but, I might drop in” She replied, closing the lid down on her laptop with a sigh as her brain came to a halt with words, partly because of the Canadian boy the other side of her FaceTime call, “If I have to”. 

He smiled and nodded, indicating that she did, in fact, have to. “You do! You’re always working, have a night off, Rems” She groaned at not only his nickname for her, but when she heard a knock at her door, assuming it would be her delivery. Pushing herself up from her sofa and slumping over to the door, she knew the angle on her screen wasn’t the prettiest, like when you accidentally open front camera and get the shock of your life, but he’d seen her in much worse states than this. 

“I just... don’t know anyone” She said, swinging the door open, her eyes looking back at the screen to gauge Shawn’s reaction. To her dismay, just because of the pleasure of getting to see his face, he’d paused the FaceTime, assumingly scrolling away on other apps where faces were much more interesting that what she thought hers was. 

“You know me” His voice snapped her out or her gaze, not just from her phone, but from the tall figure stood in her doorway. It wasn’t obscure that he was stood at her door, it was just obscure that he was on FaceTime at the same time. “What you gonna wear?” 

He pushed past her, walking himself into the apartment which he knew all too well, not just because his was symmetrical, but because he’d been round here more times than he'd had hot dinners. It wasn’t all good reasoning - he’d turned up numerous times looking like he was on the verge of tears, which sometimes he burst into as soon as she shut the door behind him, he’d turned up fucked out of his face, because he couldn’t work his own key in the door and demanded he stay on her couch because his apartment felt lonely, hell, he’d even turned up heartbroken because the same damned girl kept screwing him over and he couldn't quite establish his self worth. 

It killed her, for him not to see how incredibly special he was. She’d always had a small crush on him, sure. But Remy just learnt to deal with it because, sure, dating her was definitely not on the top of his to do list.

She was left stood, her hand still clasped around the door as he waltzed into her bedroom, muttering nothing in particular other than how she looked good in that red, flowery thing and she should definitely wear that. “Fucking dumbass” She muttered to herself, sighing as she finally closed the door, letting it shut with a loud click before following the - did I mention? - annoying neighbour that apparently would not take no for an answer.

“Turn off your FaceTime, I can hear you, fucking dumbass” 

--------------------

She sipped, through her straw, at was definitely not water and she knew she shouldn’t have trusted him when he asked what she wanted to drink. She convinced herself it would be rude not to drink it - and maybe a couple more, now she had the taste for it. Her friend, Lily, was the one that put the icing on the cake, turning up at her house - what was with people just randomly turning up? - all dolled up ready for the night. She knew her friend only wanted to go because Connor had more than likely been in touch, after several previous one night stands/‘meetings’ and Lily was not the kind of girl that passed up the opportunity to get laid - even though she had Connor wrapped around her little finger. 

Lily had left her to go pee, but Remy knew she most definitely would get lost (in Connor’s lap) on the way back, which left her with no choice but to fend for herself. She’d seen Shawn on arrival, but knew he was making a round of doing the pleasantries and she couldn't be stuck to his hip all night, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to be. As if he’d sensed her needs, her annoying neighbour came prancing over with the grin of a Cheshire Cat and, of course, a red cup contained in one hand. 

He looked good - really fucking good - she thought to herself as she watched him, buttons undone one extra than the normal person, showing the chest hair he always claimed to be manly. His trousers were tight around his peachy rear, which is somewhere she’d always wanted to get her hands onto but, funnily enough, never found the right moment to do that as a friend and neighbour. Like hey, I brought your post up... by the way let me touch your butt or hey, I saw you’re back in town, can I come round... and touch your butt. 

Sure he looked good, but his body; his body even looked good. It looked healthy. Happy. Refreshed. Which is something it often wasn’t and she would preach to him numerous times about how you only get one and you need to look after it. Turns out he may have actually listened to her for once and taken her advice.

Remy had thought numerous times about going there with Shawn - there being her underneath him, but she also knew he could get any girl he wanted with the click of his fingers, because that’s just the kind of guy he was. She, was unaware that he thought she’d never want him - he knew she loved home comforts and stability and someone to be there. He completely wasn’t the right guy to be able to offer that, and sure, bedding her had crossed his mind because he wasn’t completely oblivious to all the little gazes he’d caught her in as he walked around his - or her - apartment in nothing but a pair of Calvin Klein’s. But he couldn’t bare to do it to her - fuck her and leave - no matter how many times she bit her perfectly plump lip when he was chatting away to her about the dumb TV show they’d started watching. 

“How’s your water?” He smirked, his eyes looking a little drunk as he mirrored her posture, leaning back against the kitchen counter with arms crossed, only he stood much taller. He turned to face her, eyes clicking with hers and giving her the same puppy dog eyes he always did.

“Great, actually, thank you” she smiled, being the one to break the eye contact before taking another large sip of her drink. His view didn’t alter as he kept eyes on her, beyond her knowledge, to take in every inch of what he thought to be perfect features. Shawn had travelled all around the world, but never met anyone that quite compared to Remy. He had never met anyone who was so determined to succeed, even through having as many set backs as her. He had never met anyone who could give so much love, despite being the one needing love herself. And what he thought about the most, was that he’d never met anyone who had a body like hers - one that could make him feel like jelly. “They’re really into each other aren’t they?”

She interrupted his train of admiring thoughts, making him stutter and blush when she turned back to face him, catching him staring at her plump lips. She nodded her head towards Lily and Connor, who were talking to other people but might as well have been auditioning for a role in love actually, because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. “Yeah, I actually didn’t know it was possible for him to have feelings” he laughed and she nodded, rolling her eyes and capturing her bottom lip in between her teeth. He lulled at the material of his unbuttoned shirt in an attempt to get some ventilation. He felt hot, and it wasn’t the alcohol.

“Well, I stupidly offered her a place to crash so I guess that means he’ll be joining too” She took the straw that was swivelling around in her drink, frustrated as she tried to catch it in her mouth every time she wanted a sip, and threw it behind her onto the counter. With one large gulp, the rest of her drink was gone and they both knew she was starting to get the confidence she so dearly deserved.

“I have a spare bed, if you know...” he started, not entirely sure where he was going with the whole invitation, “get bored of the noise”

ouch. friend zoned. She thought to herself, although grateful for the offer. 

“I’m gonna whoop your ass at twister,” was the only thing she could reply, swiftly changing subject and nudging her head towards the surprisingly - so far - relatively PG game of twister happening in his lounge.

ouch. rejected. He though to himself, although slightly embarrassed at his childlike offer. 

--------------------

Remy balanced on the balcony railing, her hair pushed to one side of her neck, exposing her shoulder and collar bone, just a measly spaghetti strap covering any skin there. She came outside for one of two reason. One being the fact she felt herself getting drunk, which is something she intended not to do. Two being that Shawn looked more hot the drunker she got and that was not the kind of things that she wanted filling her mind whilst she had the new found tipsy confidence. 

“Hey, there you are” Shawn slid the balcony door closed behind him, placing his beer bottle on the little table, surrounded by two chairs, that covered almost half of the tiny balcony. “I thought you’d back door boogied.”

She snorted out a laugh, shaking her head at his ridiculous methodology. “No, but that would be the way to go, because you’d no doubt nag me to stay, if I told you I was leaving.” 

He leant his back against the railing, turning his head to the right to get full view of her, as she admired the busy Toronto city. “Can you blame me?” She pursed her lips, trying to keep her eyes on the bright city lights. “What would I have to do, out of interest?”

She finally turned to look at him, his signature smile covering his features and that was more than enough to ever make her stay. “Hmm... maybe play me my favourite song.” He simply nodded, taking mental note. 

They stayed silent for a few minutes, nothing but the sound of busy streets and the music inside filing the void. They awkwardly clicked eye contact a couple of times, her cheeks blushing a deep shade of red each time which he found incredibly cute, but also somehow sexy. “You should get back, it’s your party you loser.” 

“I like your company,” he smiled genuinely, playfully nudging her shoulder with his own. He wanted nothing more, in this moment, than to grab her, hold her close and admire the beauty of the city with her. Admire her beauty. 

She shoved her empty red cup in his hand, suddenly feeling thirsty, although she was sure it wasn’t the type of thirst that could be satisfied with another drink. But, another drink would have to make do. “Go fill up my dink, and I shall grace you with my presence shortly.”

He wasn’t sure where the assertiveness came from, but he thought it almost turned him on. “One Tequlia, coming right up” 

--------------------

The dull party music was nothing but a background noise now everyone had vacated, leaving Remy, Shawn, Lily and Connor as the last men standing. Shawn couldn’t help but jibe at Remy for being one of the final few, making it through the entire party and finishing with a rare buzz from the alcohol. “Me and Con are gonna get going, if that’s okay?” Lily spoke, filling the last space in the dishwasher with any glass she could. 

“Sure, thanks for your help, guys” Shawn said, balancing a stack of red plastic cups in his right hand that slightly resembled the leaning tower of Pisa, shaking Connor’s hand with his left.

“Okay well, here’s my key, I'll help Shawn finish up and I'll be back” Remy confirmed, walking over to her bag and retrieving her key from inside, handing it over to the eager blonde. She began speaking in a much quieter tone, even though Shawn and Connor were engaging in their own conversation and would absolutely have no interest in there's, “I might stay in Shawn’s spare room, give you guys... space” you laughed. Lily was more than thankful to have a best friend like you. 

“Girl, stay in his damn bed” She replied, earning a roll of the eyes from Remy at the typical Lily answer.

“I wouldn’t mind if she did” Shawn spoke, Remy suddenly freezing and heart beating faster than she ever knew it could. The remark was pushed aside as everyone bid their final farewells, leaving Shawn and Remy alone in his apartment with nothing but a huge mess and Spotify playlist playing in the background. “You look really pretty tonight”, he added, as she finished rounding up the last few beer bottles and throwing them in his bottle bin. 

“I... uh... thanks. You too” She smiled, almost instantly mentally slapping her forehead with the palm of her hand. Pretty? You look pretty too? She thought to herself. “I mean, you look good. Not pretty, but good”

“You don’t think I’m pretty?” He gasped, his hand pressing against his chest as he acted shocked. He leant his back against the wall, his legs straining against the fabric of his jeans, with one leg bent and supported against the structure. She couldn’t help but think about climbing on top of his thick limbs, straddling him and pinning him down. She replied a small oh har-har and he stood up, walking over to her, despite her pretending to be busy with the same bottles she’d been moving around for the past 5 minutes. “Because I think you're very, very pretty. Beautiful, actually” She felt his breath against the back of her hair, just above her ear as she remained facing the countertop. She was sure that she’d never felt a flush of heat like the one she was experiencing. His long arms captured her in his personal space, the scent of her sweet perfume filling the little space between them.

Shawn noticed how she’d stopped moving and he wasn't sure if he was pushing the boundaries too much. He would, of course, stop if she was to show him any signs of feeling uncomfortable, but the way her body finally relaxed against his told him the opposite. His fingers nervously danced over her waist, and he failed to notice the trail of goose pimples that covered her bare arms. It felt like a lifetime, waiting for her to react or say something. 

Both their hearts, unbeknown to each other, were almost beating out of their chests. “Shawn...” Was all she could mumble, managing somehow to turn around, in the tiny amount of space she had, to face him. Well, to face his chest. His hands remained on her waist, his mind subconsciously telling him to hold on because she could try and run at any given moment. She looked up at him, through fluttering lashes, trying to work out what he was thinking, but failing miserably. 

“Do you want me to move away?” He asked, noticing how their bodies were closer than they ever had been. Truth be told, she didn’t know, but something in her possessed her to shake her head, much to Shawn’s relief. So he sighed happily, reaching up his hand and brushing some stray hairs away from her face, his hand lingering there once he’d done. She reached up and covered his larger hand with hers, looking into his eyes with what he could only describe as love. Her eyes flickered between his eyes and his lips, giving him the signal he’d been waiting for. 

Dipping his neck down, their lips collided with messy passion as his hand grasped the back of her neck, her hand finally parting from his to tug at the material of his shirt. She groaned at his neediness, moving into him, her chest pressing against his front. Neither of them thought about coming up for air, only needing each other to survive in this very moment. 

Remy was the first one to detach, her cheeks covering deep red blush, yet again. “We... shouldn't.” She stated, her hands still balling up the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m not gonna force you to do anything you don’t want to do, but fuck, Rems.” He breathed heavily, stroking his thumb over her flushed cheeks. “You have no idea how long I've wanted to.” It shocked her that he sounded like he meant it, because there wasn’t many men out there who were as honest as he. All she could find herself doing was taking in whatever words he spoke, her mind on over drive and then some. “And not like, just tonight. I’ve wanted you every day, in every city, every album, every single. And what’s more ironic is that your favourite song you said you’d like me to play for you... is about you and...”

She stopped him with another kiss, her tip toes aiding her in reaching up to his taller height. She knew the confidence had come from the uncountable amount of vodka-lemonades she’d practically inhaled, but her actions were sincere. Shawn approved of both the confidence and the actions. She spoke into his mouth as they loved on each other, “This... could...” He flicked his tongue against hers, her words being replaced with a string of moans. His hands pulled at the hair on the back of her head, pulling her neck upwards as their lips disconnected, giving him more access to the skin on her neck. His lips trailed wet kisses down, nipping at the delicate skin. “Ruin our friendship,” she finally finished and although her words were spoken genuine concern, the only thing she was physically concerned about was getting enough of a handful of his hair to toy with. 

Her breathing was deep as Shawn pulled away, face still hovering close to hers. “I mean it though, Remy. I’m all in, if you are” She knew it was a big risk, ruining her friendship; her anxiety wouldn’t let her stay living next to Shawn if anything was to go wrong, meaning she’d have to go through the pain of packing up and moving apartments, to another country, in another world, because, being without Shawn was what it felt like to be alone. 

If the friendship was ruined, it was already ruined because normal friends don’t casually do this in their kitchens. If she had chance to feel his love, she deserved to, as did he. Her mind raced with thoughts of these, a small laugh escaping her lips at how she’d found herself in this completely ridiculous situation, as she spoke words she never thought she'd be saying to the pretty Canadian boy staring into her soul, “Pick me the fuck up.”

[yulmoldauer]

its better not to say such things out loud (Tyson Jost/OC): Chapter One

part 2

Story summary: Mason Wright was recently traded and because an Av. Sometimes a fresh start with a new team across the country is what a guy needs, right? It seems to work out, going to a place where no one truly knows you. That is, until someone finds out what you’re desperately trying to hide.

Chapter 1

Summary: Mason’s had a rough game, to put it simply. It was never the best idea to get into a fight with someone bigger than you. They won even with him taking a five-minute major for fighting halfway through the third period. The team goes out to celebrate his 23rd birthday post-win and Tyson takes care of getting him home and to sleep safely.

Warnings: None, I believe! Just some drinking mentioned and there’s a drunk character if that makes you uncomfortable. There’s also a slur against lgbt people used.

Words: 1,968

Notes: The title is from The Stigma (Boys Don’t Cry) by As It Is. This is the thing with the LGBT main character that I’ve had a few different people tell me they’d be interested in :) I’m having a lot of fun writing and plotting this so far, so let me know if you enjoy!

There were perks to being smaller than most other people in the league. Being an extremely fast and skilled defenseman was one of them.

Being outmatched in every possible articulation, being compared to a chihuahua yapping at a pitbull, everything like that. Which is how he ended up in the penalty box for five fucking minutes, the asshole in the box next to him chirping him the entire time, it seemed like.

“What are you, a fag?”

That was what Mason heard fly by him, aimed at Jost who wouldn’t get into a fight to draw a penalty. Mason knew for a fact that’s what the guy was trying to do. He still took the bait when Tyson didn’t.

Mason was smaller than nearly every player he knew. Watching him get into a fight was exciting yet painful at the same time for anyone with a brain. The other guy was at least six-foot compared to the five-foot-eight Mason. To say it was outmatched…

Mason was going to be lucky if he didn’t come out of this with some scrapes and bruises. A broken nose was pretty likely as well, once he thought about it.

But hearing that word ignited something in him that overtook the reasoning section of his brain and both of them were dropping gloves. Sure, he’d definitely have a black eye tomorrow, but he’d gotten a few good licks in as well.

They still won the game, which was nice.

“Dude, you gotta at least get into it with guys in your weight class.”

“You’re funny, Landeskog. Whole fucking league is out of my weight class,” Mason huffed as he stripped his padding off of his lean torso.

“Yeah, kinda the point,” Zadorov shrugged. “Not your fault you’re smaller, just the way it is.”

“I get it, I’m short,” he ran a hand through his wavy helmet hair and reached down to unlace his skates. “Z, you can fight for me, then. I’ll run my mouth and you can do all the hitting.”

“With you? Don’t take it, man, Wright can go on and on for hours,” Tyson chirped from across the room. That earned him a glove chucked at his face.

“Fuck y’all. I don’t even have a good comeback.”

“Because it’s true!”

Okay, maybe it was true. Mason was just a talker, it’s how it was.

Tyson gave him endless shit about it, but really he didn’t mind. He actually enjoyed just being able to turn his brain off and absorb whatever stuck from what Mason was going on about. Usually it didn’t even matter--ranting about how a show got robbed of some award that doesn’t even matter, spewing information about whatever book he was reading, going off about whatever asshole did something stupid during his day-- Tyson would just let him go until he ran out of steam. Conversations were nice, too, when he was in just a talkative mood as well.

Mason did know how to shut up, though. Sometimes. (Hint: that’s what made him the favorite out of the Wright/Zadorov best friend duo. He could be quieter than Z. They’ve threatened to separate the two on multiple occasions, though.)

“What’d that guy even do to rile you up? You looked pissed,” Nate broke Mason out of his train of thought.

“Just called someone something stupid. I’m not gonna repeat it.”

“He called me a fag because I wouldn’t take the bait for the penalty,” Tyson said soon after. “He’s just a fucking moron because he got a longer penalty than any of us.”

There was an uncomfortable moment as that sunk in, then a few “what the fuck” or “that’s gross” phrases before people moved on to heading to the showers.

Mason was about to sneak away when Tyson called out his name.

“Hey, I wanted to catch you before you hit the shower. You got a second?”

“Yeah, sure. I just have to do some pt kind of stuff before I shower. What’s up?” he offered with a friendly smile.

“I just wanted to thank you for sticking up for me. You definitely didn’t have to, but calling him on it drew a ton of attention to it. I think it’s really important to start weeding that shit out of the sport, y’know?”

“Yeah,” Mason smiled. “I--thanks, man. That means a lot to me.”

“‘Course,” Tyson gave a nod. “And you know if you were, like… y’know, gay or… anything, really, I wouldn’t care. And neither would anyone else on the team. It’d totally be okay.”

Mason wanted to give him a reassuring “I know” but couldn’t. Hockey was definitely not the environment known for welcoming lgbt kids and turning them into well-adjusted, accepted adults.

“Thanks,” Mason murmured. “Really, that means a lot.”

“Of course,” Tyson breathed, like he was getting a huge weight off his chest. “Um, yeah. I’ll let you go do your physical therapy stuff now. I’ll see you at the bar after everything’s done here?”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna ditch you for my birthday, idiot.”

With an excited smile, Tyson turned and headed in the opposite direction.

Once he reached an area to chill out while waiting for the showers to clear out, Mason sighed, plopping into a chair and resting his head in his hands.

Obviously he knew why Tyson brought up starting to call out homophobia and other bigoted shit they were all used to just overlooking. But why did he bring up the whole ‘we’d accept you no matter what’ thing?

The thought of ‘he was very sensitive to a slur so maybe he’s gay’ never crossed Mason’s mind. That would simply be too easy and rational.

Did Tyson know he was different? What exactly did Tyson know? There was no way Tyson would out him, but still. Trusting people to keep a secret was hard. It was just easier to bottle everything up.

God, he needed to figure this out.

Maybe he’d get drunk enough tonight to just forget for a little while. He didn’t get drunk or even drink all that often, he could let go every now and then.

At the beginning of the night, Gabe took his keys, promising that he’d give them to whoever would be driving Mason home. They all knew for a fact Mason wouldn’t drive drunk, it wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities. Honestly, they were more worried about the newly twenty-three-year-old losing them or putting them somewhere so he’d ‘remember where they are later’, which was proven ineffective at the last gathering Gabe threw.

“If you can’t figure out where the stupid keys are, he can come get them in the morning or I can drop them off to him or something,” Gabe rolled his eyes.

“You’re sure you don’t remember where you put them?” JT triple-checked. He’d been the designated driver for a few of them, including Mason, Tyson, and a couple others who had already gotten out to the car.

Mason shook his head. “I’m not even that drunk,” he insisted.

“Uh-huh. Gabe, just let me know if you find ‘em and we can work something out for him in the morning.”

Twenty minutes later, Gabe sent a picture and “anyone know who these belong to?” in the group chat. It was, without a doubt, Mason’s keys, adorned with a keychain reading “DETROIT” in graffiti lettering. He was from Detroit, and everyone knew that he refused to take that keychain off until it literally fell off for some sentimental reason, most likely.

‘Lol where’d you find it?’ someone texted back.

‘My dishwasher. His wallet was there too’

Mason has still never heard the end of that. No matter how hard he tried to explain that when he put them somewhere, it meant that he wouldn’t lose them or buy something stupid online (last time that happened, he bought a thing to hang on a window so your cat could sit on it and sunbathe. Mason has not owned a cat at any point in his life.) and he’d remember where it was once he sobered up.

Of course he still gets relentless shit for it. He wouldn’t expect any different.

Currently, Mason and Z were arm wrestling over a table in the back of the bar, people beginning to call it quits and going home. And with his pride hurt that he could not beat Z in an arm wrestling match, Tyson stole the other’s keys and wallet from Gabe, saying goodbyes and forcing Mason to as well.

“You are blasted, man.”

“Mmph,” he shrugged and laid his head against the passenger window. “I wanna lay down and sleep.”

“You can when I get you home. Gimmie your seatbelt so I can buckle you in.”

Mason followed the order with a small pout, not drunk enough to the point of incoherence but… definitely a little fucked up. Tyson had done this before: dealing with the mopey friend at the end of the night. Mason was definitely one to get mopey or clingy once they left the main event.

“My face hurts.”

“That checks out, buddy. I’ll get you some ice for it back at your place. What?” Tyson continued to ask when Mason stared out the windshield all angsty.

“Still can’t believe I couldn’t beat Z.”

“That guy could slam most of us through a table, don’t beat yourself up.”

“Can’t. Someone already did.”

“You’re full of jokes, huh?”

Mason just grinned sleepily as they pulled into the apartment complex and Tyson had an arm wrapped around his friend to keep him steady. Getting a drunk person to go to bed was usually one of the hardest parts of the night.

“Would you just--”

“I got it,” Mason huffed, fumbling with his keys near the lock of the door.

“Dude.”

“Shut up, you’re gonna wake up my neighbors,” he grumbled, finally getting the door open with a triumphant “see? I’m an adult.”

“I see. Go be an adult and get ready to go to bed,” Tyson rolled his eyes, taking the keys out of the door and locking it behind them.

“I don’t wanna sleep,” he replied quickly.

“You’re drunk, what do you mean you don’t want to sleep?”

“Not tired,” he flopped down on the couch.

“At least get out of your clothes. That way if you fall asleep it’s in pajamas.”

Mason was sprawled out, already clicking through Netflix.

“Fine, I will go get you pajamas. Here,” Tyson pressed a cold compress to a bruise on his face and headed to the bedroom.

“Thanks for driving me,” he heard from the other room.

“‘Course,” Tyson called back. “Here, put these on,” he tossed the clothes at Mason.

“Are you staying here? You can take the guest room, if you want.”

“Sure. Probably easier than trying to get home this late,” Tyson shrugged and headed for the kitchen. As he heard the rustling around of what he assumed was his friend changing, Tyson got a glass of water and painkillers for when Mason woke up.

“I can drive you home tomorrow,” Mason slurred even more heavily as he began getting more tired. He’d managed to get his jeans off and a pair of shorts on before moving onto the shirt. He’d just pulled his shirt off when Tyson walked back in the room with the water.

“Woah,” he said quietly, stopping quickly.

For whatever reason, he’d never realized that he had never seen his teammate and friend shirtless. That was weird, especially when you played sports together for a living. He assumed it was due to the faded scars along his chest, almost in a u-shape under each pec.

He didn’t even know what kind of injury would cause that kind of surgery.

“When did you get surgery?”

Fuck was all that ran through Mason’s head.

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

[quillyfied]

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 3

THE FINAL CHALLENGER APPROACHES.

This will hopefully be the last Mega Fic Rec Post I make for a long, long time; I have enjoyed it, but a lot of work goes into these and I’m tired. There are 73 titles on this list, organized by category: Jaunts through History/Canon, South Downs, Post-Apocalypse, Bus Ride/The Night Before/Heaven and Hell, AU/UA, Just Soft, Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings, Bonus, and H/C /Whump/BAMF. Please enjoy these treasures as I have.

Mentioned questionable material where appropriate; several authors have Tumblrs but I wasn’t able to tag them, for whatever reason. Oh well.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

IF A LINK IS BROKEN OR I HAVE MISATTRIBUTED SOMETHING, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. let me feel your heartbeat (grow faster, faster) – @thehoyden (T, the one where Aziraphale had a big ole crush on Crowley before the Fall and it doesn’t stop from happening. This one’s just cute; starts with a “senpai notice me” vibe that morphs into mutual pining very, very quickly. It hits the high notes of a lot of cute romance tropes and I’m into it.)

2. Pride and Prejudice and Angels – SanSanFanFan (G, the one where Miss Crowley and Mr. Fell clash wits. Kinda. Mainly it’s a lot of lovely pining and Aziraphale being sad about awful things happening in London, so he’s escaping to Hampshire for a while, where Crowley happens to be in the middle of a temptation she promptly abandons in favor of lifting Aziraphale’s spirits. Not finished, but already sparkling with Crowley being miffed about gender double standards and Aziraphale letting himself be cheered up by Crowley. It’s great.)

3. Kissing, Accidentally – @skybound2 (G, the one where Crowley can’t help kissing Aziraphale after pinning him against the wall.  Hilarious and sweet and featuring that best trope of all, Crowley going boneless and speechless at an unexpected show of affection and wanting from his angel.)

4. Visible world (or, you are responsible forever for what you have tamed) – @matchahedgehog (T, the one where Russian folklore plays a significant element and it’s weird and beautiful. I don’t think I can really convey what this is, exactly, but there are elements of building a new world and holding on tight to love even through the toughest times and it’s gorgeous.)

5. I’ve Been Drowning All These Years – @terrible-titles (T, the one where Crowley comforts Aziraphale five times and one time Aziraphale comforts Crowley. There are some discomfiting scenes Crowley is talking Aziraphale through in this one, but the comfort is sweet and the resolution is well-deserved.)

6. Moving Rocks – shiphitsthefan (T, the one where confessions are made in 1941 but they can’t act just yet, and waiting is agony. I really adore this one, especially what happens when they finally Smooch, because it happens in a spot I rarely see anyone putting it and it made me smile. The longing is so painful, poor Aziraphale. Poor Crowley.)

7.  On a Wing and a Prayer – @alphacygni-8 (T, the one where Crowley is a pining mess but he has a plan. This is another trip through history of Crowley trying to go about his business while his feels are crushing him, but I think it’s how Crowley tries to go about confessing that helps make this one a standout; there is a restaurant and there is a lot of food and there are, of course, miscommunications aplenty. The historical scenes are nothing to sneeze at, either, they’re all packed with longing and bittersweetness. Lovely.)

8. in the shapes of angels – @qwanderer (T, the one where navigating an intimate and loving relationship of any stripe is difficult when your true form is a bit noncorporeal. This one crescendos in a form of angel-demon soul bonding that really reverberates and sticks in the brain, the visuals are incredible. And the implications of switching bodies gets a lot more high-stakes, too. On top of it all this is a story about finding someone to share your life with, whatever the arrangement of the relationship might actually be, and friends it’s tender and scary and wonderful.)

9. Pilgrim – brasspetal (T, the one where Crowley is on a sabbatical to sort out his feelings and he writes love letters, of a sort. This one is one of those fics that feels like treading in deep water knowing there’s something more in the depths, but it’s more tranquil and less unsettling. There’s an overstory about Crowley traveling with a group of humans and an undercurrent about him working through how he feels about Aziraphale and the two work together to bring about something memorable and, I feel, truly impactful. It’s entirely possible that by the time the last chapter is up, the story will be something completely different from what I’ve described, and that’s cool.)

10. drowned in living waters – @mortuarybees (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale make out in a field and almost get caught. This one is short and sad and made me feel sad things, though the imagery is gorgeous and the argument leading up to the kissing is entertaining. Stupid Gabriel and his stupid face.)

11. Things They Need – LostSoftSpaceDyke (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale take lovers as stepping-stones to get to each other. This one is bittersweet and FRAUGHT, friends, it is absolutely a heart-masher. The ending rights it, of course, and beautifully, but welcome to Hopeless Longing Town, friendos, population One Angel and One Demon.)

12. Off the record – @paintedvanilla (T, the one where Crowley reports his personal sins and then neglects to report his virtues. Bookverse, a wonderful character study of Crowley and Hell’s bureaucracy and how certain things affect Crowley personally. Includes a lovely homage to Freddie Mercury, of course.)

13. By Any Other Name – ausgezeichnet (@thebeatlesaremyboyband) (T, the one where Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis fake a wedding to get Thad Dowling off their backs. While it definitely has its funny moments, what stands out more to me in this one are the soft, quiet moments of pining sprinkled in between their adventures. There’s real strain between Crowley and Aziraphale with this turn of events, and I can’t wait to see it all boil over. Also Thaddeus Dowling is a dickbag in this one and is deffo getting his.)

14. God’s Gift – Katzedecimal (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale are undercover as a lady and her tire-woman while on a job. This one is based on one of the stories from The Akashic Records by PeniG (which y’all know I adore), specifically one where a potential 30K caper is laid out involving this exact scenario, and I love that someone actually tried to tackle some of it. The friendship is so good, and the little bit of excitement that happens in the plot is Terribly Exciting. Just ladies taking care of ladies, what could be better?)

15. All I Want (Is You) – amavyllis (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale don’t touch but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to. Oh, y’all, the longing. The LONGING. And the sheer ACHE of not being able to touch someone you would like to be physically close with. It is PAINFUL and it is GOOD and I am DYING.)

16. meantime i ask you to be my valentine (i’ll be your valentino) – hipsterchrist (T, the one that follows Saint Valentine’s Days through the ages. This one is really interesting, actually, and has one of the most eclectic collections of historical moments I’ve ever seen in one of these types of fics. That ending scene is on point, though; I spoil nothing but you guys TEARS. Of LAUGHTER. And also OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTION.)

SOUTH DOWNS

17. Let Me Live Here Ever – @moveslikebucky (T, the one where they’re soft and just talk about their feelings and smooch a lot. This one is part of a larger series but you don’t need to have read it to read this one. It is so very soft, y’all. So tender. I will never be over stories where they just lay in bed all day and revel in how they feel about each other and their life together.)

18. The Cottage, The Husbands – Dragonsquill (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale have a life in the South Downs and it is good. Featuring lots of cute little tableaus and some of the most fun OCs ever—Twelve in particular is a treat, she’s Crowley’s stylist and absolutely wonderful. The whole series is just FUN, it’s cute and casual and domestic and great.)

19. For All the Stars in Heaven – ausgezeichnet (@thebeatlesaremyboyband) (T, the one where Heaven and Hell need to shove off already. This one takes off almost without warning, and escalates rather quickly before a frankly genius solution to The Problem of Aziraphale and Crowley is found. I only deal in happy endings, so you KNOW it’s good for the husbands. Surprisingly good, in fact, I didn’t see it coming at all.)

20. Angel and Demon Teatime – @penig (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale entertain a few unwanted guests for a while. This one is really cool, with a lot of sensory details while Crowley and Aziraphale relive a lot of the sensations of Earth and bring them into the physical world for the spies Heaven and Hell sent after them to experience them, too. The spies are both precious, though in completely different ways, and the ways they go about changing through this visit are subtle but profound.)

21. The Tales of Eden Cottage – Jupiter_Ash (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale slowly settle into their new South Downs community. This one has a lot of fun OCs and some extremely touching stories (the one about Joshua in particular broke my heart in all the best ways). Their neighbors are a lot of fun and the fic in particular that has a facebook chat of their speculations on who the new guys moving into Eden Cottage are is fantastic.)

22. A Brand New Angle – @fallsouthwinter (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale pick a direction and gun it. Has first kisses, dancing, delightful neighbors, gardening—all the best ingredients for a heartwarming, satisfying South Downs romp. And this definitely is one—with some promising things to come, judging by the standalone in the same universe!)

23. A Safe Place for You – Vagabond (@waffleironbiddingwar) (M, the one where learning to receive love is a little bit harder lesson to take in than giving love. M for a humanly intimate scene that borders but does not cross into full smut, and an ethereally intimate scene that is weird and pretty. This whole thing is achingly poignant and heavy; every word drips with emotion and it’s both difficult and sweet, much like the subject matter, I suppose. A memorable and beautiful piece.)

24. Act of Service – @dietraumerei (T, the one where people think Aziraphale is Crowley’s sugar daddy. This one starts off hilarious and then slam-dunks itself right into the Feels Pile, with a side-helping of discussing dynamics and reaching acceptance. An instant classic and one I’ve definitely read more than a few times.)

POST-APOCALYPSE

25. Thou Knowest Us Happy – @mirrorleaf (T, the one where Gabriel gets the truth shoved directly into his face. This is a fic of a fic (the original I have not read bc it’s rated E and I can’t do that for personal reasons), and while this fic references its source quite a bit, it’s not confusing enough for the fic itself to be off-putting. In fact, it’s a gorgeous one-two punch to the throat: first, the Banishing of the Archangel Gabriel, which is INCREDIBLY satisfying; second, the Making Sense of It All, where Aziraphale and Crowley realize they’re truly free and start to explore the various contexts of their relationship, past and future, which is very sweet. A delectable little treat, all told.)

26. Courage – @mandysimo13 (G, the one that’s a good old-fashioned post-apocalypse love confession. There’s a cute little characterization of Courage woven throughout, because of course Crowley personifies the emotions he is or isn’t dealing with, but on the whole it’s adorable and intimate and cute.)

27. when the earth is trembling – @stammiviktor (T, the one where Crowley takes Aziraphale on an amazing date. Listen, I adore stories where Crowley falls to pieces under the weight of his love as much as the next dork, but Crowley delivering? Crowley being, if not confident, then at least secure in the choices he’s making? Crowley showing his angel a good time because he knows what his angel likes? SIGN ME UP, FAM. Especially if we still get Crowley coming a little undone at his attentions paying off in a hoped-for but still unexpected way (to him, anyway).)

28. Little Terrors – @runwiththisdinosaur (T, the one where Aziraphale is being more affectionate and Crowley is one hand-touch away from an aneurism. This one doesn’t pull away from Crowley’s all-consuming fear of Aziraphale Falling for loving him, and captures the messy feelings and hurt and heartbreak and healing these two getting their act together demands. Also Indian food.)

29. Forgiveness – @guanin (G, the one where Aziraphale has a well-deserved breakdown after Armageddon’t. This one is super-duper cathartic and has Aziraphale working through all of his hurt feelings and confusion over Heaven and how they treated him, and how he subsequently treated Crowley. Featuring a very patient Crowley and a very weepy Aziraphale and a lot of wondering about fate and choice.)

30. Of burnt books and courting Crowley – robynvite (T, the one where Aziraphale accidentally finds out Crowley’s in love with him and then sets out to properly woo him. I love fics where Aziraphale finally takes the initiative, and he does so with gusto. Anathema serves as a great sounding board and go-between for these lovestruck idiots, and Crowley not knowing how to handle Aziraphale being flirty is the best thing. Also, Aziraphale finds out they burned the second Agnes Nutter book and has an angelic come-apart.)

31. that I may hear my heart fall from your lips – song_of_fate (NR, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale get to be themselves at last. Y’all like awkward but shyly happy getting-together fics? Y’all like Greek vacations? Y’all like Anathema being a bro and Crowley being casual and Aziraphale being absolutely taken with him? You’ve found your fic, folks, and it’s not even finished yet. More softness to come!)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

32. please please please let me get what I want this time – @sarahbacou (NR, the one where Crowley is extremely tired and Aziraphale muses on their situation. The tone of this one is mournful and apprehensive, but ultimately tender as Aziraphale cares for an exhausted-to-the-point-of-delirium Crowley on the bus ride home. The scene after they get off the bus is just straight-up heartbreaking, there are no other words for it, but it ends hopeful, especially knowing what we know about canon.)

33. Ethereal Love – @mariannightroad (G, the one where trying to teach Aziraphale to sleep morphs into something a little bit more. The purest and sweetest of romances, the most sexless making love of all time (even for weird angel essence-touching, it’s pretty devoid of lust), and just really really Soft u guys.)

34. Long Night’s Journey Into Day – @whatawriterwields (T, the one where Aziraphale keeps watch through the night. This one is adorable and very tender, with a terrible nightmare and an amusing adventure involving remote tea-making and FEELINGS. Aziraphale loves Crowley so much.)

35. Maybe Tomorrow Will Be a Better Day (If You Let Me Look at Your Beautiful Eyes) – TheWinterSldier (T, the one where Aziraphale ponders about Crowley’s eyes while wearing his body. There’s some historical jumping but the majority of the story is focused on retelling Crowley’s trial from Aziraphale’s head, and the meal at the Ritz afterwards. There are a lot of emotions about Crowley’s eyes. Ironically, there were also a lot of emotions about my eyes. Or, rather, in my eyes. Just overflowing with feels.)

AU/UA

36. Hard Times – @northeasternwind (G, the one that’s the bandstand scene in the context of Speremint’s Reverse Omens AU. I love the characterizations of Anthony and Azirafell so much in this particular AU, and the building tension and sudden breaking of the dam at the end is exquisitely done.)

37. Rosemary and Sage – AJissoverytired (T, the one that’s based on the witch AU by masao-micchi and is PRECIOUS. Crowley is the Red Witch, a very famous and talented mage, who accidentally gets turned into a snake by a rival and winds up being found by Aziraphale, a mage-in-training who’s starstruck by the Red Witch. They strike up a familiar contract, with Crowley conveniently not letting Aziraphale know who he actually is, and enter the Completely Ridiculous Comedy of a pseudo-love square. The world is vibrant and fun, characterization is spot-on, and it’s so funny and sweet I’m dying. Worth the read 4000%.)

38. Only Love (Can Bring the Rain) – @soft-october-night (T, the fairy tale-ish AU featuring a sweet prince and his handsome gardener boy. Y’all. Y’ALL. Pining and childhood friends-to-lovers and class struggles and vegetable-growing contests and subterfuge, oH MY. The flavor of this one is Very Very Good, absolutely a gem.)

39. Running in the Shadows (Damn Your Love, Damn Your Lies) – @soft-october-night (M, the one that’s vaguely a Persuasion AU but is mostly a messy, emotional romance shoved into Regency decency. M for mentions of sexual activity that would most certainly overwhelm the sensibilities of a more delicate readership, but it’s not bad at all for a modern reader. I think soft_october might just own my soul, because HOT DANG, that is two AUs in a row that are scratching my itches in the best ways. The LONGING. The EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. The MASQUE BALL. The CLASS STRUGGLES. I have read it twice already and will definitely be coming back to it a lot, because there’s lots of meat on this here bone. Adam Young and Crowley’s relationship in particular is touching, and Crowley’s friendship with Anathema is top-notch.)

40. I have loved you (for a thousand years) – @asideofourown (T, the one where they’ve been dating the whole time but SOMEONE missed the memo. Classic miscommunication at its finest; Crowley’s chapter is painful enough with his pining and heartsick longing, but Aziraphale’s chapter knocks it out of the park with his perspective of actually being in a relationship with Crowley and the various misinterpretations that’s caused. They’re so stupid and I love them.)

41. Gravity – Emmbee_89 (T, the one where Crowley was Raphael and he and Aziraphale had (and have) a love so powerful Aziraphale created Time and they couldn’t be separated even after the Fall. Oh sweet Jebus and all his little elves, the tenderness and powerful heartbreak this one causes gave me actual physical pains. Bittersweet and lovely. I am so proud of them.)

42. The Love You Leave Behind – @gloriouscacophany (T, the one that’s a 1980s college AU where Aziraphale is studying abroad and Crowley is the singer of a rock band. This one is UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous. Listen, I don’t usually go in for human AUs, but this one caught me, hook, line, and sinker. The sensory details are lush (especially when Aziraphale is noticing Crowley, hoo boy) and the story has some built-in heartbreak that’s already paying off (hello, homophobia), but despite the incoming pain and torment, I have full faith and expectation of a great ride along the way. Truly spectacular.)

43. Pray For Us, Icarus – @seaskystone (G and T, the series where Crowley keeps reincarnating as a human and Aziraphale loves him. Listen, I know 90% of you already know this masterpiece, but for the 10% who don’t, this series will heck you up one side and down the other. It will drown you in sorrow so that the good moments are sweeter than air. It is so intense, so emotionally raw, so dadgum TENDER, I had no idea what to do with myself after I finished it. Like a cheese grater on a sunburn when it’s bad, like hot chocolate on a bitter cold day when it’s good. A fandom staple for sure, cathartic and satisfying as only successful recovery after a long, hard, difficult event can be.)

44. Magnesium and Oil – @quaidpoppinjack (T, the one that’s a monster hunter AU. The great thing about fandom is that sometimes people will make AUs you would never have thought of, but once you know of it, you need it desperately. In this one, instead of tempting and thwarting, Crowley and Aziraphale are tasked with gathering the escaped creatures of Eden and sending them either to Hell or Heaven to stock for the impending War. The worldbuilding is AMAZING, the little details are great (for those of you wanting Crowley in hunting leathers, welcome to the party), and the story itself is just good, okay. Great action, lovely plot.)

45. alpha centauri – @hyruling (T, the one where Aziraphale agrees to run away to Alpha Centauri during the Apocalypse. To my understanding, this work was previously deleted by the author, but I’m so glad it was brought back so I could read it, because two very scared, very piney idiots carving out a domestic life on a barren planet WITH A CAT is the jam I didn’t know I had. Watching them circle each other is great; watching it all come tumbling down when Plot happens is even better. It’s a happy ending, don’t get it twisted, but you always have to wade through the Bad before you get to the Good, after all. A lovely little piece, absolutely A+++.)

46. Truth Untold – GenericUsername01 (G and T, the series where Crowley was Raphael, Aziraphale was made to be his assistant, and holy crap on a STICK where to even start. The worldbuilding is INSANE, I love how the Archangels are described and go about their business (word to the wise, do NOT skip the prologue work, you miss all of the best context if you do). And if that’s not great enough, there’s a whole system of angel-devil nemesis pairs all over Earth, whom we get to meet when devils start wanting to repent. There’s baptism involved and it’s horrifying and heartbreaking. Not finished yet, but it’s ramping up. Also, Crowley is functionally blind, which is about to start causing some real humorous problems since no one else knows about it, certainly not Aziraphale.)

47. Take me to the room where the red’s all red (take me out of my head, that’s what I said) – @raiining (M, the one that’s a Dom/sub AU with gentle top Aziraphale and bottom Crowley. No real sexual elements in this one, but I can understand why the M is there, the subject matter might be a little Much for some people even if it is fairly chaste (if sensual). The dynamic between Crowley and Aziraphale is delicious af, especially when they’re snapping at each other and then later melting into each other. It’s just. So good.)

48. Take This Sinking Boat and Point it Home – sobakasu, sssnakelady (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale used to be the same being, and the combination of fundamental incompletion compounding with being in love is tearing Crowley apart at the seams. Darkly emotional and absolutely raw with feeling, quiet and powerful and subtle. Crowley is absolutely heartbreaking, but Aziraphale manages to bind it all up quite nicely—not perfectly, they’ll have to work at it, but sweetly and with perfect love.)

JUST SOFT

49. Three Unthwarted Wiles – @almaasi (G, the one where Aziraphale lets Crowley get away with a few things. Oh my heaven it’s so SOFT, I know that’s the point of this section but HRRGK. Crowley does so much for Aziraphale and Aziraphale returns the favor as often as he can and they just love each other so much I’m sobbing.)

50. The Original Bar Joke – @deathbycoldopen (T, the one where Crowley sees himself as the punch line in God’s big ineffable joke. Sad until finally it isn’t, but Crowley spilling the beans via joke-that-turns-into-scathing-self-reproach is a unique flavor I wasn’t expecting and it broke my heart. Absolutely wonderful.)

51. Love Stories – @just-quintessentially-me (G, the one where Aziraphale is the maudlin sad drunk. Guys, I’ll be real, the emotional payoff of this fic is sweet, but the real highlight for me is Aziraphale scolding a fire he accidentally sets, because nothing feels so Aziraphale as him being drunk off his wings and attempting to LECTURE a FIRE. Also Crowley’s reaction to Aziraphale setting a fire in the bookshop is…well, about how you’d expect. A fantastic little number I quite enjoy.)

52. no mind to lose – @saints-and-demons-preserve-us (T, the one where Aziraphale goes fast and Crowley is a mess. Starts with an ode to Crowley’s long hair, as it rightly should, and evolves into a rather adorable start-stop where Aziraphale engages in various touching activities and Crowley is doing his level best, bless him, to catch up and remember how limbs and lungs work. Precious.)

53. Alas, Poor Yorick! This Is Gonna Suck! – WhiteQueenWrites (T, the one where Crowley finds his perfect opportunity while teaching a theater class to the Them. Yes, it’s canon!verse, not an AU. Yes, Crowley and Aziraphale kiss while teaching Romeo and Juliet. Yes, it is exactly as adorable and tween-traumatizing as you would expect. It’s very fun!)

54. Divine Intervention (aka God Ships It) – @theladyzephyr (G, the one where God has had it up to HERE with two idiots stuck in denial. Oh, folks. This fic is a TEASE. This fic is TANTALIZING. This fic is INFURIATING. And it is so, so worth its weight in gold, because the moment of triumph is so unspeakably sweet. It’s so good, y’all. So good.)

55. Learning to Speak the Language of Flowers – @junkshop-disco (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale are orbiting closer. M for discussions of trauma, I think. I’m not sure if I have the words for this one but I’ll try anyway. It shifts between the night the world didn’t end and the events after, and the time Crowley and Aziraphale spent in the Dowling household, and the transitions between the two are so smooth sometimes it’s hard to catch which time period you’re in. The writing is emotive and beautiful, and the emotional impetus behind the fic is compelling. Highly, highly recommended.)

56. seasons, changes – @whatawriterwields (G, the one that cycles through four seasons of Crowley and Aziraphale’s new life in love. Gorgeous and descriptive and so sensory—it really captures a lot of the best parts of each season. And also it’s incredibly loving and I die.)

57. waking up to you – @whatawriterwields (G, the series that’s a collection of tender morning moments. Listen, this writer is the MASTER of tender fluff, and this series is overwhelming. I have had to physically clutch at my heart and wail at my ceiling because of how cute everything is. If you need a dose of fluff after reading something angsty, here’s your medicine.)

58. Nemo dat quod non habet – @liquidlyrium (T and M, the series that examines the aftermath of the trials in Heaven and Hell, and Crowley and Aziraphale have an actual conversation. M rating is just to be safe bc the makeouts can be intense, but it’s not bad. The stories are basically revolving around the same conversation from two different points; Aziraphale’s bit goes more into the kissy-kissy afterwards. Powerful and raw, but understated; there’s dignity in this series, and a good bit of playfulness. The writing carries itself exceptionally well.)

59. Where to Start – @freyjawriter24 (T, the one where Crowley’s almost kissed Aziraphale plenty of times through history. Oh, y’all. Crowley’s emotions are laid so bare. The longing is so good. The scenes are all pretty original and interesting, and you can get a good sense for what Aziraphale’s feeling in these moments, too. Top-notch.)

TOUCH-STARVED/BODY WORSHIP/WINGS

60. The Power of Touch – @wordsintimeandspace (T, the one where Crowley needs some tending to and Aziraphale is more than happy to do it. It’s lots of kissing and touching and it gets intense but not too sexual. Also some lovely communication and boundary negotiation and it’s great.)

61. show a little skin (baby I’m begging) – @summerofspock (T, the one where Crowley can barely handle seeing Aziraphale flash a little skin now and then. Oh, y’all, it’s so much fun. Crowley is in over his head, someone please help him. Ankles, collarbones, FOREARMS. Oh lawd.)

62. You’re the Only Prayer I Need – @kedreeva (G, the one where Crowley’s shedding and Aziraphale helps. Featuring an absurdly large bathtub, wing bathing, and finally the peeling of snakeskin, which sounds so intensely satisfying, tbh. Simple, companionable, and nice.)

63. Of Firsts and Foremosts – @kedreeva (T, the one where Crawly finds Aziraphale cornered by Ligur and steps in. This one has really interesting bits of lore stuffed into it and a sweetly cautious blooming camaraderie between Crawly and Aziraphale; on top of that, there’s cuddling and wing care and both are extremely good.)

64. At Least Eleven Second First Times – @enjambament (M, the one where Aziraphale has to get used to being on Earth in a body again. M for risqué elements that brush up against smut without crossing over. This one is all about feeling things, from emotional to physical sensations, and how Aziraphale is overwhelmed by it all, but there’s also bits of the inherent diversity of the world and the significance of being able to feel things and on top of being secondhand-overstimulated, it drops you directly into Feels Town and it’s delicious.)

BONUS

65. a snake by any other name – @asideofourown (G, the one where Crowley’s snake form is spotted by a herpetology student and an unlikely companionship is struck. This one is from the view of an OC and is really cute, involving Crowley growing fond of a human with proper appreciation for serpentine charms. Also the OC and her girlfriend have a fun argument about what Crowley actually is and it’s adorable.)

66. Always Trust a Dog’s Judge in Character – notebooksandlaptops (T, the one where Warlock moves back to his London home and starts building a life. This one is so good, y’all; adult (ish, he’s nineteen) Warlock is such a delight and you can see Nanny Ashtoreth’s influence all over him. It’s even better when he meets Adam and forms the biggest crush known to man (good thing it’s reciprocated, that would have been awkward), and befriends the rest of the Them (Pepper in particular is to be feared and respected). A fic about growing up and finding yourself, and I love where it’s going.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

67. In Peace I Will Both Lie Down and Sleep – @fizzybiscuits (G, the one where Aziraphale is having nightmares. This fic feels so organic—like a logical continuation of the show, or at least one of many directions it could take. Aziraphale having vivid bad dreams and NOT TALKING ABOUT IT is so on-brand, and Crowley getting worried out of his gourd is also on-brand. Vulnerable and sweet and soft, once the nightmares are dealt with.)

68. A Touch Like Sunlight – @just-quintessentially-me (T, the one where Crowley acts the hero like an idiot. This is Crowley’s vengeance against the Archangels and it’s heart-pounding; of course stuff goes off the rails pretty quickly, but even the stuff that goes right has tension in it. A great adventure, with an appearance from BAMF!Aziraphale.)

69. Chokecherry – unsmilingchuck (T, the one where Crowley helps clean up Aziraphale’s hands after a frankly awful punishment from Heaven. This fic feels calm, maybe more so when it’s revealed what it’s in the aftermath of, and Crowley is very methodical and meticulous in his care. It’s clear how much they care about each other and that’s always the jam.)

70. Thus saith the Lord – @themanicmagician (T, the one where angels can be drafted into Her service like a hive mind. Oh, folks, you want historical pain? You want emotional torment? You want a thrilling chase and a tender aftercare and a triumphant victory? You want to be in your friend’s house and hear the Plagues song from Prince of Egypt and almost have a complete breakdown bc you’re reliving this fic? Then join me in singing this one’s praises, because it delivers. It does not let up even for a second, once it gets going. This is probably one of the darkest fics I’ve ever read, but the ending balances it out. It’s great.)

71. In Somnis Veritas – PinkPenguinParade (T, the one where Aziraphale volunteers to help Crowley with his nightmares. Oh, y’all. Y’all, this one is so good. Just two immortal beings, working through their various traumas together. There’s pain and healing and a beautiful, beautiful ending. This fic hits all the right notes, it’s splendid.)

72. Incongruous States of Being – @zehwulf (T, the one where Aziraphale is a BAMF and that was never truly up for debate. Featuring an argument meant mostly for fun, and then a fight meant mostly for not-fun. Protective Aziraphale through the roof, gang. Very, very good. The tension is exquisite, and the characterizations are perfection. A wonderful take on Aziraphale and his abilities.)

73. Aim Your Arrow At The Sky – @trellanyx (T, the one where Aziraphale is a warrior and don’t you forget it. Warnings for some pretty graphic violence. This fic is not epic-length but it is epic-scope; it’s downright cinematic. The details are so crisp and the action so well-described, and threaded through it all is fierce, tender, desperate love. A wonderful read, especially if you want to see two particular Archangels get theirs.)

[eldri-sv]

10 - Shinsou

Kaori Shinsou has always been fascinated by people's minds. She is one of the best students in her Criminal Psychology course at U.A. and - being the lucky girl she is - her professor is not only one handsome dude, but is also working on the case of the serial killer Stain - a case that has been going on for years. As she is about to become Professor Aizawa's TA during the next term, a lot of other interesting cases start popping up all over the country... AU, OC x Aizawa

Trigger warnings: insomnia, drugs, ignoring medical advice, parents being absent, insomnia

(possibly incomplete, if you’d like something added, please let me know)

I fear that I am ordinary just like everyone

(The Smashing Pumpkins - Muzzle)

It had taken Kaori Shinsou a long time and a lot of guilt tripping her parents to let her go home from the hospital. She just really didn't want to spend the whole night there, when she could get the same rest at home. At least in theory. She knew she wouldn't be able to get much sleep at either place, but at least she could chat to Hitoshi at home. Or she could work on her papers for uni.

But she'd be damned if she didn't show up to her lectures at university. She wasn't going to try and catch up on days of work on her own, hell no. In her mind, it didn't make much of a difference whether she was at home writing assignments and going over less than perfect lecture notes - since she really only trusted her own - or whether she was sitting in university, high on painkillers.

The thing that struck Kaori as interesting was how the painkillers in addition to the concussion made her really sleepy. Usually she could barely ever sleep, but now it seemed like her body was just so exhausted from everything that it was shutting down. She had barely made it through her first lecture in the morning. After that she had an hour-long nap in the library.

Right now she had her Criminal Psychology classes. She was wondering whether she should even bother turning up for them. Kaori was sure they hadn't found a replacement for Mr. Aizawa yet and there was no way that he was back. But then again, there was no text or email about the class being cancelled, so she figured it would be better to make her way over there. If no one turned up for the class, she could still have a nap in the classroom. Maybe she should have stayed home after all...

While she was walking towards the classroom she checked her phone. There were a few messages there, one from Hitoshi, one from her mum and another one from Uehara. She opened the messages with a yawn. Hitoshi had sent her a link to an online ad. When Kaori clicked on it, it led her to someone giving away kittens. Kaori looked through the pictures with a growing smile on her face.

She clicked out of her browser to return to the message. God, her brain felt like molasses. Was this what it felt like to take that cough syrup with codeine? Hitoshi had to take it once and he said he has had the best sleep in his entire life while on it.

>>Are you going to get one of those? They look extremely cute. 10/10, would approve.<< Kaori answered the message. She checked the second message Hitoshi had sent her.

>>How are you feeling? If you collapse and I have to explain to mum and dad why you were at school and not at home, I won't be your friend anymore.<<

>>I'm fine, Toshi. I'm tired af. I just had a nap for like an hour in the library, it was great. Sleeping is amazing, Toshi, why don't we do it more often?<< she replied. When she read over it again, she noticed it sounded a little weird, but she couldn't really be bothered. She had probably taken way too many painkillers at this point, but at least her head wasn't hurting anymore.

She checked the next message that she had gotten from her mother: >>Hey, sweetie, how are you doing? I hope you get a lot of rest and can catch up easily on your school work. Don't do too much! Love you.<<

>>I'm fine, mum! Got a good bit of rest just earlier. Don't worry about any assignments for my courses, I'm sure I'll be able to catch up quickly. Love you, too.<< Kaori replied. She grinned a little, as she sent the text. Her parents were blissfully unaware of her being at university. They'd never find out anyway, unless something went terribly wrong. Or if Hitoshi spilled the beans, but he wouldn't do that. Kaori knew him well enough to be sure of that.

Her parents were never home, anyway. Why did they even care how she was doing? They were both doctors at the hospital, which meant they worked long hours and did shifts all the time. It was a rare occasion for Kaori and Hitoshi to have a meal with both their parents. And when one of them was home, they were usually busy doing some other stuff. They had gotten used to it. And after all, they still had each other. Kaori often thought she wouldn't be as close to Hitoshi, if her parents weren't at work all the time. She effectively raised the boy, since she was 8 years old.

While she was trying to get to Uehara's message, she suddenly bumped into something. Or rather someone. Kaori stumbled backwards and looked up from her phone confusedly. Who the hell would be bumping into her? There was no way they could have not seen her, especially since she had a fat bandage on her head.

"Shinsou? What the hell are you doing here?" the man that had ran into her said. His face was completely covered in bandages and he had both arms in a cast. He had long black hair and... oh shit. That was Mr. Aizawa.

"Uh... I'm going to class...?" Kaori answered. She slapped herself internally for how dumb she must be sounding right now. It's the painkillers, she kept reminding herself. If I say anything too dumb I can always blame the painkillers. She looked up into her professor's eyes. He did not look happy.

"You should be at home and getting some rest." he told her. Kaori couldn't help but burst out laughing. She should be home and getting some rest? Did he look at himself, all bandaged up and whatnot?

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I think you should be getting more rest than me." she replied. How did they even let him leave the hospital that early? Kaori was sure, she heard Hitoshi say that he had to have surgery and all. How the hell was he even walking after all that? How was he doing anything?

"I'm fine. There are more important things than my wellbeing." Aizawa said. Kaori would have guessed that he had a very stoic look on his face, but she couldn't really see it, due to the bandages. And it kinda annoyed her, because Aizawa had a really damn nice face and it was a shame she couldn't see it right now...

"Damn, Mr. Aizawa, I wish I was as motivated about my assignments as you are about my education." she replied with a smug grin on her face.

"I wish you were that motivated about your assignments, too. You seem out of it, Shinsou, are you sure you're okay?" he asked. It almost looked like there was a trace of concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine. I just... I took a lot of painkillers. I don't have a headache, though, so that's good." Kaori answered. Aizawa nodded.

"Well, if you start feeling bad during class, don't worry about it. You can leave at any point, I'll know why. Now, we're already late..." he said. Kaori nodded enthusiastically and followed Aizawa to the class room.

He wasn't really walking, he was sort of limping, while trying to keep his balance with his two arms. Kaori wondered how he even managed to get dressed like that. Probably a girlfriend. Or a wife. Was Mr. Aizawa married? Kaori glanced down at his hands, but even if there had been a ring, she wouldn't have seen it with the casts. Damnit. She knew this would be in her head until she found out.

While she was following Aizawa towards the classroom, she decided to check on her texts again. There was that text from Uehara she didn't get a chance to have a look at and Shinsou had probably replied already. Her mum wouldn't have time to reply to any texts anyway.

>>Girl, I heard you've been seen on campus today. Shouldn't you be in hospital with Aizawa? Lowkey jealous of you about that, by the way. I wish I was in the same hospital as my hot professor.<<

Kaori blushed as she read that message. She looked up at Aizawa in front of her. God, Uehara had no idea how hard she was crushing on him right now. She always thought he was really handsome and all, but since the whole thing at the Rescue Training Facility, she was just seriously into him.

Uehara could never know, however. She wouldn't keep quiet about it and Kaori really didn't want things to be weird. Especially when she was supposed to be his TA next term. She had no idea how she would pull that off now. Uehara would definitely find out at some stage. The whole thing wouldn't be pretty.

She looked at her other messages. It was only Hitoshi who had answered her. He had replied to her message about the cats first: >>I still have to get mum and dad's okay, but I'm working on it. This household needs more cats urgently.<<

>>We don't sleep because we're fucking insomniacs, and sorry to break it to you, but you can't stay on painkillers forever.<<

>>Yeah, whatever. See you at lunch?<<

"Ahem..." Kaori heard Aizawa say. She quickly looked up and put her phone away. He was standing in front of the classroom door.

"Uh... Sir?" she asked, not sure what he was trying to say. He glared at the door and let out an exasperated sigh.

"It's really difficult to open doors with these casts... could you maybe...?" he answered and nodded towards the door.

"Oh! Of course, Sir." Kaori quickly replied and got the door for him. She really was being a dense idiot today.

[jbbuckybarnes]

Distant Connection - 6/11

Pairing: Bucky x Harmonia (OC) Warnings: mentions of wicca/witchcraft, mention of parents death, gossiping about main character Summary: After an unknown group of goons took her mom’s life and tried to get her for the dark magic powers she possesses, this untaught witch is saved by the Avengers and brought to the compound where her new life unfolds.

MASTERLIST || Distant Connection Masterlist

“Book of Shadows” was standing on the little notebook she had taken out of her backpack. She opened it and went through it bit by bit. Astrology, Elements, Crystals, Tarot, Herbs, Spells, Witchcraft. She took a marker and started writing “Dark Magic” and started documenting all the things she had already figured out and trained. It was late at night and she wasn’t really tired and half of the team was on a mission. The perfect evening for some self-care and journaling. It was raining outside and the rain kept making little sounds against her window every time the winds changed. The compound was silent except for some white noise and a few footsteps here and there.

After writing everything off of her soul and also making a little journal entry, she flipped through her collection of notebooks that she had taken with her when the team rescued her. She packed quickly so there was only some clothing, electronics, and her memory box that she took with her. It was full of little pictures, articles, notebooks, and hard drives. This was what she would save in a fire together with her phone and documents. Griefing the tragic death of her mother became easier with these little things and she cried less than before. She accepted it, she couldn’t change it anymore and wanted to cherish what she still had left of it. “You miss your old life.” A voice came from the entryway and out of panic she created a defense wall in milliseconds but it didn’t have an effect on the person standing there. “Sorry for scaring you, Harmony.” Vision now said understanding he should’ve made himself more audible beforehand. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, I just was so deep into reading that you just…” She tried to explain. “And do you miss it? Your old life?” He asks genuinely interested. “It’s not really the life that I miss. Just my mom.” Her voice was laced with sadness. He sat down beside her trying to show her that he was there for her. “Grief is profound. But it gets better, right? You feel more calm about it than a few weeks ago.” He analyzed the situation. “Yes. It helps to remember the good moments with her or writing about my emotions. Why are you here tho?” She was okay with being open about it but she also was confused as to why he was here now. “I never met someone with your personality. It’s fascinating. And I thought you wouldn’t mind some company because the people close to you are gone right now. Do you want me to leave?” He asked concerned. “No. I just wanted to know your intentions. It’s...I don’t speak to a synthetic person with an infinity stone in their head every day,” she said a little shy. “I don’t understand the interaction of emotions completely all the time but I think I’ve already learned a great deal of what it’s like to be like you. Always happy to talk. Wanda is very similar to you in some ways and I feel like I might be of help sooner or later if you need to talk.” He explained himself further. “I appreciate that. Very empathetic of you to be honest but right now I don’t really have a lot of thoughts building up in my brain that I wanna share. Any other ideas what to do?” She answered honestly. “I like cooking a lot. Should we...make a late-night snack?” His face lit up a bit. “Sure. Pancakes? I just love pancakes a lot,” he answered instantly with a smile.

Having humorous conversations with Vision was the last thing she expected but because he knew so much about humanity and media it was actually great to see him get all her jokes and him explaining weird things humans do that don’t make sense to him. “Let’s make some more and put them into the fridge for tomorrow morning. Cold pancakes are so good!” She suggested to him while sitting on the kitchen isle. “Is that the equivalent to cold pizza as breakfast? Cause I find that very weird.” He smiled up at her on the counter while starting to put together a new bowl of pancake batter. “It’s kinda similar now that you say it. It’s the sweet equivalent I guess.” She started to think about it out loud. There was a door opening and a lot of quiet but hectic talking from the hallway all of a sudden which made both of them look up to see the teammates that were just coming back from the mission. “So early?” She asked when she saw Steve. “Was a base but also a dead end,” he answered before leaving into his room. He also was the first one to come back into the room with wet hair and rubbing his hands “What do we have here? Late-night pancakes? Can I have?” He asked with puppy eyes. Vision and Harmony looked at each other for a second before she nodded with a smile and a little motion through his hair. The next person coming in was James, totally done but also happy to see her. Instead of aiming for the food he aimed for a hug from his girlfriend still sitting on the kitchen isle. “Why so sad big boy?” she asked him with her arms around his head. “If I have to hear Sam for one more second I’m gonna lose it!” He grumbled into her shoulder and felt her giggle. There was an “Uh la la.” Coming from behind clearly directed at them and she felt James tense up. “Sam, fuck off. No pancakes for you!” He heard from Harmony in a confident voice. “But it’s pancakes! Everyone else gets to eat!” Sam whined. “Maybe go on his nerves a little less,” she said chuckling. “Can I have one pretty please?” He asked nicely. “What do I get for it?” She started to negotiate and James started smiling into her shoulder. “I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow,” he said after thinking about it for a few seconds. “Deal,” she said and he echoed it back. After James could hear him sit down he looked up from her chest with a boyish smile. “Showing your true colors, huh?” His smile emitted proudness. “Damn, don’t call me out like that,” she said fake shocked. “Damn, get a room you two!” they heard a voice coming from the door. Tony. “Excuse me?” She said ready for a fake bitch fight. “Don’t come at her. She is ready to win today,” Sam said with his mouth full from the dinner table. “A warning from Wilson? Wow. I’m impressed,” Tony answered fake impressed but sat down on the table with a little smirk. James let go and finally grabbed a plate too and got the pancake right out of the pan from Vision. “Thank you V!” He smiled and hopped onto the kitchen isle beside Harmony. Everyone went silent and just sat there eating with their phones and some of them wrote in between. “Is this a weird group chat situation or are you all just on social media?” She chuckled. “You sure you wanna know?” Tony answered. “I can magic it out of you if I want to,” she said with an unfazed smile. “It’s a group chat,” he answered shortly after. Harmony touched James’ leg to give him a little impulse, a message? He was confused for a second but then got it. *They’re probably talking about us.* He shrugged at her before looking back down on his plate with a very subtle smile. Another subtle touch on his knee *What about tomorrow morning? Unless their plan is to leave us alone every time they are finished eating. I’m down to show them how foolish they are.* She saw him nod so slight that it was almost not detectable. He was incredibly good at hiding the fucking implosion the thought of kissing her in front of them gave him. Shortly after he finished his pancakes, put the plate in the sink and went to his room without a word. She could read him well enough to know that this was part of the plan of irritating the others.

After a lot of silence and her looking at her phone every now and then someone broke the silence. “What is it about him?” Tony asked. “I think you can relate pretty well to how it is when someone shares or understands your pain, past, grief, characteristics coming from those past traumatic events. That’s it. He gets it, he doesn’t judge and he makes me feel protected.” she said not facing them. She was still too broken to talk about herself in-depth in front of multiple people. “I think everyone in this room understands.” Vision started trying to comfort her, “Steve and Bucky share their out of time life, Sam shares the experience in of military and Tony the experience of losing your parents and putting too much onto yourself.” He really was very empathetic when it came to the important moments. She totally understood why Wanda had found her peace with him. His words hit the others with truth and pain. She smiled at him with gratitude. “He makes you feel happiness again, right? Like I do that for Wanda or Pepper does that for Tony. Even Wanda for you.” he asked. “You mean a safe place?” He nodded, “Yes. He’s my safe place.” Her voice was sounding breakable like glass. The room was silenced by that. She didn’t speak to half of them until today and hearing her be so honest made them realize some things about themselves. With a touch on V’s shoulder, she jumped from the kitchen isle and left the room with a small “Goodnight.”

The silence of the building was almost unsettling now that everyone was back. Normally she could hear them talk in the kitchen late at night or at least heard some footsteps. Today that wasn’t the case. Vision seemed to have made them think about some things.

[killers-high]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO? (i mean, he’s rather liked overall but there’s not that many ppl who rp him?)

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  OH YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / KIND OF?

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. --> hard to say. kinda yes, but then not that much. there are characters who sure were more relevant.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. <-- depends who you ask, heh

How strictly do you follow canon?  — In general I keep my Kenpachi close to canon, but I’m not very strict about it. I like to fill up the holes left in canon story with headcanons, and I’m open for plots that are canon-divergent as long as they simply make sense, logic-wise. I’m also willing to deviate from canon when comes to shipping -- for me it’s about chemistry and chemistry only; I have a few ships I like when comes to dynamics and such, but I wouldn’t turn down a character my Kenpachi grew to like/love only because it’s not on my ship list. Of course all the canon relationships are relevant and you can totally jump straight to the kind of interactions your character used to have with mine in the manga, but anything more than that needs to be developed first. Also, I acknowledge the relation between Kenpachi and Unohana as canon, but I see it more as a mother-child relationship; even if there’s some twisted kind of affection in it, it’s hard for me to imagine them living together as a happy little family. I know, the idea is cute, but personally I think there’s far too much bitter feelings between them so it could ever work this way.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Uh, I’m not sure what makes Kenpachi interesting for other people as a character, so I’ll just say a few words about what could make my version of Kenpachi possibly interesting to interact with, I guess. Kenpachi is a guy not only of great power, but of great experience as well. People tend to see him as a bloodthirsty berserk with all brawn and no brains, but there’s so much more to him than meets the eye -- he’s more clever than he likes to show, and while his kind of wisdom might be not so obvious and ‘classical’ kind, he has it and he uses it both in his fights and in interactions with others. Although he might make an impression that his own strength is all he cares about, it’s only partially true. Kenpachi likes to help others become stronger and watch them grow just as much as he likes to improve his own power; he hates to see wasted potential, and he often provokes or challenges people into situations that, in his opinion, will help them to discover their strength or improve as a person. He’s not a touchy-feely guy and he hardly lets it show, but he cares about the ones who are close to him and would risk own life without a second thought to protect them -- however, this other, more private and more vulnerable side of him usually stays hidden from the world, as he’s not willing to show it to anyone except those who worked hard to gain his trust.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  Kenpachi is not interested in people who aren’t willing to fight -- not only literally, but also fight for themselves, for their goals, dreams, fight to overcome their weaknesses, their bad experiences, their fears. He has little patience for those who whine and do nothing to improve their life, so instead of support they get as much as disdainful look from him. He’s hardly interested in interacting with anyone who can’t offer him either a good fight or a good challenge of some other kind -- or a way to kill boredom at least -- and can be pretty unresponsive if the way other character approaches him doesn’t pick up his curiosity. On top of that, he can be a bit of a handful at times -- he gets annoyed pretty easily, tends to be restless and snappy when bored, he speaks before he thinks and since he’s pretty foulmouthed and pulls no punches he often hurts others even while it was not his intention.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  My muse himself. Kenpachi was my favorite character from the first time I’ve seen him (around 2008 or so), and when I discovered Bleach rp on tumblr (by accident while hunting for pics lmao) I decided to give it a shot.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  I don’t really need inspiration to write him. I can do it at pretty much any time given, likely because we’re similar character-wise and it takes me like zero effort to get in his skin. The only thing I need is a rough idea for some plot and BOOM here we go. Unless it’s a chat rp, then I don’t need even this.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES? / NO. <-- you tell me

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I don’t have any problem with criticism in general. If something about my character or the way I write him bothers you, feel free to tell me. I can’t promise I’m gonna care though -- Kenpachi is a very personal muse for me, and the way I portray him sometimes can differ from other portrayals or from what’s ‘canon’ simply because he shares a lot of qualities with me as his writer. Fact that you criticized my portrayal doesn’t mean I will change a single thing about it, but sure I won’t get offended or stop interacting with you only cause you said a word or two. The only criticism I never publish/respond to is shit aimed at stirring up drama, as people who write such are not worth my time.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  FUCK YEAH. Some of them really force me to think about stuff I wouldn’t have thought about otherwise, and make me discover my character anew in some places I thought I already know him ins and outs. I like all the questions, no matter the topic, and I do my best to answer them with details.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Sure I’d be curious about what their reasoning is, like, what makes them think things aren’t the way I see them? What is their headcanon on this particular topic? Do they disagree completely, or just some part of it doesn’t lie well with them?

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  Depends how they carry it out. If it’s like ‘okay i don’t think so but it’s cool, everyone can have own opinion’ it’s totally fine, i’m far too old to bang heads over such silly shit (there’s no ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ portrayal btw -- everyone does it their own way and there’s nothing to whine about). If they come to my askbox solely with the purpose to pester me about it, and do it in a way that makes me question their age and/or mental health, I’m gonna block their ass out of existence.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  I don’t care and it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever notice they do unless they make effort to bring it to my inbox. In the end it’s their problem, not mine; I’m just gonna continue doing my thing while they’ll be wasting time and energy on writing shit nobody cares about.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Sure. English ain’t my native so if I write something that makes no sense just lemme know -- it’s a way to learn, too, and if you tell me there’s a chance I don’t make the same mistake again.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  Yeah, I’m pretty laidback and I don’t give a flying fuck about 99% of things that tend to raise a lot of hackles. It’s nearly impossible to offend me, and I have a lot of understanding for the fact other people have their own lives, likes, problems, ideas, families, health issues, work routines and whatnot, so I never pester anyone for replies or anything rp related. However, I’m a confirmed extrovert in this kingdom of introverts which is tumblr, so I tend to hang out on Discord/chats a lot and then think I must be a fucking pain in the rear for my more introverted friends cause I’m always the one to message them first, and it makes me want to melt into a sad pool of shame for being such a needy fucktard.

tagged by: @hirako5hinji [thank you!]

Not sure who did it already, so if you see it on your dash and wanna do it, feel tagged B]

[krizaland]

You keep referencing your old fear of IZ but will we ever hear the whole story?

Alrighty! In honor of the spooky season, I think it’s time I told you all the full story of how my fear of Invader Zim came to be and how I conquered it!

When Invader Zim first came out I was at the ripe old age of 5 years old. I never saw the first episode but still enjoyed watching cartoons off all kinds. Except Ahh! Real Monsters which I’m still afraid of to this day 

My first encounter with Invader Zim was when I was 6 years old. I was watching Tv at my cousin’s house when an episode (I believe it was Door to Door but they memory’s kinda foggy) popped on. 

I never knew Zim was an alien but my goodness he was the cutest boy I had ever seen! I didn’t even care that his skin was green I just thought he was cute! 

“Wow! I love Zim!” I remember giggling.

“Really? I think Dib’s better” My cousin countered.

Now, she was like a few years older than me so I really looked up to her and wanted to be like her.

So I took back my love for Zim and pretended to like Dib. I never really understood why she preferred Dib as I always thought he was mean.

I did catch a few pieces of episodes here and there on my own and did see Zim’s alien form. However, my child brain was quite stupid so I always thought he was just an oversized bug who liked to talk to his cousins. (Yes. I thought that the Tallest were Zim’s cousins. I was that stupid y’all.) I never once considered that this oversized bug and the cute green skinned boy were the same person.

Now, I should probably note that I had an insanely overreactive imagination growing up. (This is part of what inspires me to write lol)

So Zim sorta became an imaginary friend of sorts. Because I had fallen in love with him, I assumed that meant we had to get married (Curse you Disney for your unrealistic expectations!)

So Zim and I had a cute little imaginary wedding.

Everything seemed fine until the day I found out about the harsh truth.

I remember going upstairs to my room when I heard Tallest Purple’s voice coming from the upstairs TV.

“I thought you were trying to destroy the Earth?”

I gasped! Who was trying to destroy the Earth?!

Sure enough I looked up and saw the oversized bug once more.

“Ah yes! You heard wrong! My original plan was to destroy Mars! Just a little warm up before I destroy the humans! I’m an unstoppable death machine you know! Well, Invader Zim signing off!”

I felt a pang of fear in my gut. Zim?! The cute green skinned boy I called my imaginary husband was really an evil alien out to destroy the Earth?!

I ‘confronted’ him and he owned up to being an alien. 

I felt my heart shatter into a thousand bite sized pieces. I never felt so betrayed! So bamboozled! So smeckledwarfed!

I let out a scream and ran into my bedroom. I spent the rest of the day sobbing and cuddling my Scooby Doo plushie.

I remember going to see a ‘friend’ of mine. (She was a pretty shitty friend but I still liked her.) 

I brought up Invader Zim and we chatted for a bit. She begun to tell me about a girl in the show.

“Are you talking about Gaz?” I asked as I tilted my head.

“No. No. She was a beautiful girl and she was also an alien.” My friend explained.

I realize now that she was probably referring to Tak.

However, my foolish child brain was convinced that Zim had somehow turned a girl into an Irken!

Needless to say, this did not help my fears.

So after talking to my friend I kept having nightmares about Zim turning me into a half human half Irken hybrid.

I got so scared that I had to sleep in my parent’s room for a week.

After that, I would run screaming at the mere mention of the show.

My brother used to watch Nicktoons a lot and would often torment me by referencing Invader Zim (as well as Ahh! Real Monsters.) 

As I got older, a lot of middle schoolers would walk around wearing brightly colored GIR shirts. I would always cringe in fear and avoid them.

I couldn’t even walk past a Hot Topic without my stomach churning.

Eventually, the day came where I could take my fear of Invader Zim no longer!

I was 13 going on 14 and there was an Invader Zim marathon on Nicktoons.

There used to be a large TV right in front of the kitchen table, so my brother decided to watch the marathon there.

Unfortunately, I wanted to eat my snack and my mom refused to let us eat in our bedrooms.

My brother was being nice for once and offered to change the channel. 

I was about to say yes but something in me snapped.

I was so sick and tired of hiding in my room whenever the show came on. I was tired of gasping at the sight of GIR shirts. 

I was so done with living in fear.

“No. Leave it on. I can handle it.” I said as I sat down with my snack.

“Are you sure? I can always change it.” My brother offered.

“It’s ok. I can handle it.” I insisted as I started to eat.

And with that, I stared straight ahead and decided to give it a watch.

The episode was Hamstergeddon, and the moment Zim started screaming about Pipi, I felt a change in me.

In that moment, Zim no longer seemed so scary. In fact he was funny!

Soon I found myself laughing instead of screaming. 

Why was I so scared of this show? It was comedy gold!

When I finished eating, I went to the upstairs and grabbed both my Kirby and Scooby Doo plushies. I sat down in front of the upstairs Tv and turned on Nicktoons.

The opening theme song used to sound like nails on a chalkboard but not anymore.

Now it sounded like music to my ears! Soon, Invader Zim went from one of my greatest fears to one of my most beloved special interests.

And it was just in time for my scene phase!

I rushed to Hot Topic and bought every piece of GIR merch I could get my angsty scene paws on.

When my 14th birthday rolled around I asked for a plushie of Zim off of eBay. The seller was an asshole and he charged us an arm and a leg but it was well worth it.

My Zim plushie went everywhere and I mean everywhere with me. To the park, to my brother’s soccer games! Even to renaissance fairs! Hell there’s said to be an ad for some autism organization that has footage of me holding Zim. 

I let myself fall in love with Zim all over again (Only this time I didn’t marry him like an idiot.)

I delved into the Invader Zim fandom and begun to churn out OCs and extremely cringey fanfiction ideas. 

When my scene phase wore off, I realized that Zim wasn’t very nice so I kept him away from my other stuffies for a little while.

However, I was no longer afraid of Zim but I still cringed when I looked back on my old ideas.

Fast forward to August of 2019.  Rise of the Teeange Mutant Ninja Turtles was on a massive hiatus and I was slowly going insane on the world’s worst cruise.

As I suffered aboard the SS Retirement home, I scrolled through tumblr and noticed that Netflix had just released Enter the Florpus. 

Maybe, I had gone completely insane on that boat or maybe I was just excited to see Invader Zim make a comeback.

Either way, I felt my special interest in Invader Zim reawaken

The first thing I did when I got home was dig out my Zim plushie, log into Netflix and turn on Enter the Florpus.

In that moment, I fell in love with Invader Zim all over again. 

I soon wrote up my first Reader insert fic and now here we are.

Now, I love Zim free of fear and cringe! 

[energonalucard]

A FEM Team of my Own Design (RED Edition)

Usually, I don't like doing this kinda stuff. One: I don't usually share my ideas and I am very nervous. Second: FEM characters are one thing, BUT A WHOLE (TWO) TEAM makes me sweat. The good sweat, but also a nervous sweat. Because I am now sharing a personal part of my brain and my love for woman. Beautiful. Lovely. Yes. 

@medics-secret-shipfic-folder, this is one half of those FEM's I talked about! 

Is this more OC team's then canon gender swap? Yeah, and that's because I don't think that's my endgame here, I didn't make these for a gender bend AU, I made them out of love and from a community of great idea makers. I'd rather make OC's then be another generic half-hearted bending AU maker. <3 <3

Also, this really is just a dumb fact thing as I don't want to give away plot stuff. Fun facts and getting to know them a bit. 

(Yes, I said PLOT) 

═══════❖══════════════❖═══════════

-- RED Team: 

𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘂𝘁: The default FEM Scout you see around. Pony-tail, blonde like normal Scout, Bostonian. Has a bit of dimples but I swear, she'll punch you if you call her cute. 

She/Her. Straight, but an Ally. Or so she says. Nobody believes her.

But something you won't know is how many sisters she has! The answer is four. Four sisters and a single dad back in Boston. While lower on the sibling count then most Scout's she is far more likely to NOT talk your ear off in a large group... but will corner you and chat you a blue streak if your like Sniper or Spy and seclude yourself. Since she has less family to push her to run, she's a slower Scout but she can run ALL day pal. Even Medic needs a break but she keeps going, going, going...

Will beat you with heels/pumps (Spy will have loaned them) if you even offer the idea of her wearing them. Sneakers, pal, are Gods gift to feet.

Right handed, and uses left only to throw a ball or clever. Only. ONLY. 

Once drank Mad Milk. No one saw them for three days. Medic had her strapped to a table. She apparently was found in town on a rooftop at 6 AM after vomiting loud enough for neighbors to notice. She got better, but has amnesia from the incident.

Favorite weapon of all time is the Holy Mackerel, because its freaking hilarious and Spy's are disgusted by it. Also reminds her of her dad only being able to cook fish and roast back home in Boston.

𝗦𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗿: Looks like the canonical Soldier, but her hair is similar to the Battle Bob (https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Battle_Bob) but with no bangs and it barely peaking from her helmet. Blonde, American, and named John Doe respectively. 

She/Her. Bi(romantic/sexual). 

Has a thing for tank tops and will wear them around base when not on duty, because she's a very sweaty person and her clothes suffer (and who ever does laundry as well). This was a compromise. Trust the RED Team on that one (Medic approved).

Helmet 100% of the time though.

Bra comes off = be ready for a fight maggot.

Has more lower body strength, absolutely loves the Manntreads. But don't underestimate her running Original. See her on Battalion? She most likely has Rage ready when she pops out of nowhere.

Has no idea why people tell her walking around naked is weird/distracting/rude or whatnot. She's covered up! In jam (Pyro mourns their jam and preservatives cupboard)!

𝗣𝘆𝗿𝗼: Looks... exactly how a Pyro should. Like a balloon bodied Pyro. Yeah, nothing strange here other then their SASS. Dear heavens.

They/Them. Non-binary.

You've only seen these Pyro's around three or four bases in your entire LIFETIME. This walking bag of fire does not have time for ANY bullshit. Loves doing the windup middle finger when someone does something stupid/rude. Isn't really all that serious as they are made out to be but you get it.

Still loves Balloonicorn and cooking even though they act like any other merc. Has a tea set with crudely melted crayons on its outside.

Wanna get BACK here? BACK into THEIR base? Turn around and head BACK son. Backburner and Thruster Pack predator, all day unless the team suffers.

Covers up Soldier in a towel if she's naked. Sows up Demo's pants if she splits them. Engie loves them when they swing by with anything cinnamon realated. Second most likely to do everyone's laundry.

Arsonist Guardian of the Year Award. 

𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗿: Just like Scout, the typical Femgineer model but this time, she's more chubby then her skinny model on Gamebanana. Her overalls like default Engineer helps her self esteem though. Brunette, Texan, and still a shortie. 

She/Her. Bi(romantic/sexual), but leans more towards men.

Ever seen a small volcano of 5'4'' and puffy red cheecks? You've met it, you've angered it. But you ain't staying conscious for long. Not with her weilding a Southern Hospitality just for this occasion.

Has made many comments about making traps and watching unfortunate folk "disappear" from her daddy's old farm. Nobody questions why the cameras in the building have tiny barrels attached to them and a laser sight. 

Has mentioned a husband or at least a male partner once to Sniper. Never elaborated. Never showed a ring or even a smile when talking about him.

Cinnamon and jam enthusiast along with Pyro, and the most flustered when Soldier is covered in it. 

Hair bun is a must unless she ties it flat with pins. Short hair because she don't wanna catch fire. Smells like burnt metal and a dulled oil smell nobody can rinse out of her clothes. Her hardhat is permanently on her head, googles are a go too. Welding smock and overalls in and out of battle.

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝘃𝘆: Like before, like Gamebanana FEM Heavy. Brunette (like two of her sisters), Russian, and actually has scars all across her chest if you can see her shirt peak off-hours.

She/Her. Lesbian (romantically involved with RED Medic). 

You probably think Medic is the one most likely to do laundry since I said Pyro was second right? (I'm not that predictable ;>) Nope, its Heavy. Heavy doesn't like machine washers unless she has to deal with jeans or other thicker fabrics she knows won't dry in under 12 hours correctly (because they fight EVERY day). She washed unmentionables too, and does not make it weird. Until Sniper literally has to answer about why all her underwear is stained yellow, Sniper she just wants you to have nice clean clothes--

You ask Pyro for dinner if you miss a meal or have a diet going on. If Heavy catches anyone not eating, they eat double. Diets? Heavy always grew up with the mentality you ate what you could get, but Heavy is not heartless. Since food types are abundant, she is careful about diets. But she'll still make you eat it double. 

Her girlfriend doesn't eat pork products, so she understands. (Slightly)

Natasha may be her right hand gun but her doctor will always have her heart and soul. Still bought a better bed for Natasha though, but don't tell doctor. 

Once beat a male Scout cause he called her ally Engineer a fatty. Has had to fend off two Scout's from her team's Spy ("Heavy, they had information I needed." / "Intelligence? Bah."). Actually stepped on a drunk Demo's crotch on accident, but did apologise. 

Loves her girlfriends muscles way more then her curves, she has no idea why. But she can appreciation a nice bottom when she sees it. 

Two little sisters, an older brother who's tettering around step-brother, and a mother who's nearly paralyzed from the waist down. But that woman was her light, she did things not many woman do anymore and for that wisdom and learning, Heavy is grateful. Mother also instilled a fear of swatters with a shoe tied to it. Creative, but scary.

𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻: Actually looks like The Demowoman made based on Drew Wolf's own design, but I think a bit more fuller in the cheeks and chin (more square). Scottish, eyes sharp as a sass lass, and a thick as hell skull.

She/Her. Pan(romantic/sexual).

Once cried in a pile of bras while drunk. Not her own. That's how everyone learned about Spy being... more on that later.

Has a father and mother, but both are leaning so far towards insanity she gave up listening a long time ago. Still doesn't back talk them though, she just pacifies them by dividing her money and saying she has many jobs.

Gains weight like crazy, and its not all the alcohols fault. Food is just very heavy in America and since the team is 1/3 American she feels enlarged everytime a meal based around or for the Americans is brought out. And dear god Heavy, bear goes straight to her muffin top. Spy notices her uncomfortable nature when eating and generally tries to swap out their plates (Spy fussing at the chief before dinner saying she needs X on her plate and not Y, just so Demo can keep her ideal self). (Don't tell Demo, she's too drunk to notice it)

Actually will hug Soldier when naked and be like, "Nothing weird about it". Has actually kissed Spy's hand like you'd do royalty as a joke. Has actually spun Medic around in a circle in a bear hug before. 

She's all for makeup, but really, all she can manage normally and steadily is lipstick. At least she can wipe it away if she wants (can't wipe away the pain of stabbing your only good eye with a mascara brush). 

Nobody touches her hair, never. But she likes doing other's hair. She isn't all that good with cutting or styling or maintaining hair, but playing with hair or just running her hands through it is amazing. The body hair on her legs is shaven and so are her underarms, but her arms and "moustache" that Scout notices are well grown out.

Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Laun--

Hair always under a beany, nobody sees her hair until much later. She had it all in one wide french braid. Wait, doesn't she normally fail at braids? How did she get that? 

𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰: (Okay, this is where similarities in the FEM models stops. To me, I don't really like the FEM Medic model as much as I should for OC's so I'll explain Medic as best I can.) Just like any male Medic counterpart and she has a square-ish chin, with curves almost as boxy as some of her cosmetics. But its a good boxy, she's wide with muscle and shoulders to carry injured teammates. Black hair, German, and the creepiest white teeth you've ever seen.

She/Her. Lesbian (romantically involve with the Heavy). Gay Energy™.

Thicc thighs saves lives. Like, no joke. She is mostly muscles in her legs and torso so everyone assumed she was good at running. Even Scout. Once lifted Demo with ease in her arms and gave Pyro a piggyback ride all at once. It did strain her back and she was slower, but she was fine after dropping Demo in a safer spot to sleep.

Her posture is shit, but she does form corrections regularly, and uses a pillow to cheat the system if she's grumpy enough.

Her teeth. God, her teeth anywhere in blue lighting make weaker mercs a bit dizzy. You've never seen teeth have a blue-green tint like hers, it feels like watching a horror movie permanently set in a blue shaded tint.

Does not eat pork products, and won't elaborate. Will eat beef, but not pork. Maybe she just hates it? Maybe. A diet? Even Heavy shrugs it off now when it happens.

Medic gives the thumbs up for Soldier walking around in tanktops. Naked Soldier is also a thumbs up. All those bras Demo collected once had Medic sorting through them happily. Actually figured out Spy's real cup size. 

Medic has banned Sniper's ace bandage bras. Not in this house, not under her roof. She fits Sniper for personally made bras, Spy bought and tailored. 

Loyal girlfriend. But gayer. Heavy is fine with it, and actually partakes in showing everyone love sometimes too. Since Demo is also affectionate, it can't be too bad.

Push-up queen, but will drop in the dirt in exhaustion afterwards. She only beats Soldier by a few points and mostly runs on spite. 

Has actually stollen all her team's uterus'. What?! She gave them all back later! Just... someone else needed them first. And in a Female vs Female war zone her teammates weren't planning on using them. But they are back now! Well... not all.

Has actually tried to make a Spyper out of an old male Spy and Sniper she used to fight. Both just despawned and targeted her the next day. Sadly. 

BLU Demo's line about shagging Medic's husband always makes her go into a laughing fit. 

Has a ring ready for Heavy, because Heavy is best wife material and loves her dearly.

𝗦𝗻𝗶𝗽𝗲𝗿: (Changed a bit too.) Taller then her Gamebanana model, and god is her face longer and more like regular Sniper. You've heard of laugh lines but the Sniper has frown lines, and the dip in her cheeks has wrinkles from the sun. She has a unibrow growing almost as fast as you can wax it, she leaves it be. So much arm hair. Brunette, Australian (New Zealand), and her hands are big for her size.

She/Her. Bi(romantic), Asexual. 

Never shaves. Never.

She has a mom, a dad, and a big brother. Her brother snipe's as well for RED Team and they have secret mail chains going between them (not so secret, Administrator knows). Her parents don't know she's Bi and after what they said to her brother about him being Trans, she never wanted to figure out. 

Her brother is actually fully transitioned with the help of a Medic who seemed pro-Trans. Of course the doctor waved that off but he had been careful about the procedure enough that they could tell he was a good doctor about all this.

Her brother is the reason she wears ace bandages for bras. So he wouldn't feel bad. She just never STOPPED wearing them after that, and she always reasoned it was because of her broken family and wanting to hold on a little longer. A "little longer" was nearly nineteen years of wearing it to help her brother mentally. Until Medic banned it. Then, she had tailored bras that were strapless but wouldn't fall down. Sometimes goes without the bra onto the battlefield and will tie her shirt off as a makeshift support. She doesn't feel she betrayed him, just... cloth is real itchy sometimes.

Jarate. Isn't... entirely enthusiastic about hygiene outside of basic shower stuff, brushing her teeth, and trimming her nails. Her underwear is clean but since jarate is... yeah, it stains her clothes. Jarate is a lot harder for females to make with how pants work.

Yes, has mooned the enemy Spy before. Not on purpose. Many times. Yes, her pride is shattered every time it happens.

Had long hair upon arrival to this war. She refused to cut it even as her team warned her about what long hair can cause. She changed her mind after the male enemy Spy yanked her around by it and smashed her head in a windowsill. She had her ally Spy cut it after she could stomach letting it be tugged, even for a cut. Spy was gentle, and asked her questions on what she prefers: suits or dresses. 

Suits mate.

(And that BLU Spy was never seen again on the battlefield after a week.)

𝗦𝗽𝘆: (Different from the model ENTIRELY, I really do not like the Spy FEM model at all. But I have grown more warm towards it lately, probably from my BLU team ideas *wink* *wink*) Wears a suit like all other Spy's, and a balaclava as well. Her shoes are as Italian as they come and could take out a man's eye they are so sharp. Blue eyes, sharp chin and nose, and she is NOT a mother.

She/Her. Pan(romantic/sexual)/Polygamous.

Is not the mother to any children at all. She does not need nor want any. Still gets all the men thought. And ladies. 

She actually does not have a uterus at all, she caught wind the doctor had taken something out of her (what Medic doesn't) and didn't want it back. Turns out, she really does not care for the missing body part. Oh well, a Spy's lose is a Medic's fortune.

Has her breasts restricted a bit by a special SpyTech bra that distributes muscle instead of pressing it all against her lungs. She looks like a D cup for her bust size. Is a E cup naturally. Medic drools when she sees the tag on the bra for the first time. Sometimes wears buisness casual around base, without her SpyTech bra and using a normal one for comfort. Attracts Demo and Soldier like flies when she does. 

Cuts and manages everyone's hair. Sniper was her first job, and that was easy. Next was Medic coming in it get a half fade. Next was Soldier to keep her hair barely peaking from the helmet. Demoman was the hardest to convince and she can only touch her hair if she "uses those leather fancy gloves" she always wears at all times while braiding Demo's hair.

That BLU Spy from before? Gutted multiple times over the course of games throughout a week. His score suffered and he was moved to a team of lesser skill. A temporary "fix" to the problem. She still wants to gut him but can't do it outside of work hours as he's employeed to BLU (costing her a contract). But did find him in a seedy city with the mother of his child, and casually reminded him of his deeds out of spite while in disguise. He apologized, but she refused to take it. She wasn't the victim. They parted ways after that and promised to never see each other again. 

Will actually hit Scout on the head. Hand open, palm ready. Right in the back of her head. Stupid American loudmouth...

Likes the Dead Ringer with the stock revolver a lot, and likes being active. Really good at acting like Pyro, its kinda scary. It's probably the sassy movements they mastered.

Third least shameful having no top on. Proven.

Has secret meetings with BLU Spy outside both base ranges. For some reason, even though the ritual of enemy teams Spy's meeting and exchanging whatever they have for whatever they need is long over they both still come out here. Probably to get away from the base and at least smoke in peace, or at least she hopes so.

-- BLU Team... (soon)

[notanorangepeel]

people are beautiful: a very long pt. 1 (about college students)

One of my friends makes her music playlists based off of every individual name of her friends, and then when she runs out of friends, based off all her favorite book and movie characters and idols. In low caps and ends each with a little period, like “ anna. ” She looks you in the eyes intensely and has ten thousand facial expressions with hand motions to match. She listens to heavy cycles of NCT next to twenty one pilots and the randomest guitar hits. She only sees the personalities of people she knows in the snyopses of books at Barnes and Nobles, eats frozen yogurt while worrying about drama while sitting crisscrossed in public, pulls a shower of compliments from a never-ending well of aggressive care and concern, and doubles over making the xD face when she laughs. She’s probably broken the volume knob on the radio in her car and is scarily very chill with abandoning the GPS on interstate highways.

Another girl smiles softly and talks in the highest, cutest voice and it sounds exhausting to be THAT sugary sweet all the time, but she is the literal personification of a mix between Fluttershy and PinkiePie, and she gifted me with one of those kawaii brand baby lamb lamps from Daiso the Japanese store for Christmas when I barely knew her, and it feels like she stepped out of the softest anime. She has at least fifty stuffed animals piled on her college dorm bed, and one of those sad-eyed kitten posters, and reads advanced theology and social justice pamphlets. She’s the pro-life club street activism officer. She’s also in pre-med and wants to be an obstetrician, so she pulls who knows how many all-nighters cramming information into her sweet sweet brain. Her dad’s retired but not done working yet and lives in Africa. She’s visiting him this summer and promised to send pictures of giraffes.

Another girl has THE frizziest hair, is the definition of short and filled with silent rage, could kill a man with her heels and I wouldn’t doubt it if I heard that she had. She’s been known to type FUCK in all caps 50 pt font on her laptop’s PowerPoint while suffering through hard lectures. She has the sharpest wings and most unbelievable makeup skills ever known to womankind and wears dresses with steep slits up the side. Every girl was on her waitlist for winter prom style prep. but she has a laugh like small wind chimes and her soul blossoms like a sunflower in front of her three closest friends, and she takes them out to get cheeseburgers at 3 in the morning if they feel like it. She confides jokes quietly and makes the best chemistry study guides.

There’s a “super senior” dude who is one of High Heel Terror Girl’s best friends. Since she approves of him, it’s fine, although while he doesn’t smell fishy, there’s still something hard to grasp about him, like a slippery eel. He hangs out in the freshman girls’ dorm lounge past 2 AM, and at first everybody thinks he’s a creep because he’s the only male in there past 2 AM, but turns out he just has a hard-to-read personality and his study group is always in there and he’s too suave for his own good. He responds immediately to tumblr humor and is too direct with his observances. I still can’t read him all the way, and I don’t think anyone can yet and it’s very likely no one will be able to. He’s kinda small sized and we thought he was gay for a bit, but he just likes hair gel. Actually, no, given this description, I think he might actually be gay. But if he is then it’s a far back in the shady shadows of the closet gay. He’s a Pandora’s box and we all kind of leave it that way, and he likes it that way. Maybe I should be scared. But he platonically brought my best friend flowers on her birthday because he knows she likes to braid them into her hair and he’s so fast to offer his help to anyone who needs it, he just lets people use him, walk all over him really, with a one-sided smile the whole time, and he’s known across campus as that “there in an emergency” guy. He wears suits on the nice days and will be off, wild in the workforce, come this fall.

Another girl is so absorbed in her love for logic and words and story and debate that you can see it in her walk and the creases in her dirty red hair. She watches buzzfeed unsolved and has origami hanging in staggered patterns above her desk and a Toothless statue crammed between empty bottles and toothpaste stains, and she has very niche knowledge about drinking no-no’s and dating know-how from her older sisters and the ordering of the soul according to Aquinas vs Plato from herself. She’s quick to throw fists at the first sight of injustice and shifts her weight eagerly when she’s sitting on her small feet on the couch and immediately has a solution or plan for everything. She’s always working on a new OC or binging a new Webtoon or practicing for DND. She has a bit of an instep and likes old sci-fi movies and classic rom coms and is, oh my Lord, the BEST baker ever. Stress seems nonexistent to her. Every Thursday night she makes croissants or cinnamon rolls or twists or giant cookies and leaves them on the kitchen counter for the taking. How she salvages orange rinds and entire cartons of eggs from the cafeteria is a mystery.

She’s dating an equally kind of short guy who has an endearingly cheesy smile like Midoriya’s from My Hero Academy, and who adores emo music played on the old jangly piano in the lobby. He’s part of the martial arts and fencing clubs and has been known to jump tabletop to tabletop in mock duels with his girlfriend. He’s the reason for the first time I watched Monty python and he handmakes his birthday gifts and blushes when he gives them to the chosen person and is a regular contributor to the conglomerate friend group chat. His mophead is often swiveling around searching for and keeping tabs of his friends who are 94% of them mischief makers.

Then there’s this girl down the hall who is taller than the green giant himself and has a shoe size that matches her massive love for concert-going. She took a gap year to teach children in Guatemala and rocks her spot on the pro volleyball team even though she’s only played for a few short years. It’s not her passion, but she cares about the members and likes the exercise. She cracks up over stupid economic projects, her laughter piercing through the dorm walls at random times, and upon me showing her them, thinks the sarcastic summaries on YouTube are a godsend. She sits quietly when she’s a guest and says she distracts herself from stress by “listening to other people vent instead.” She is the friend who corrales all the different friends into one, massive, Last Supper-esque convention meeting of friend tables. She somehow is “one of the guys” but also very definitely “one of the girls” and comes back at 12 AM exhilarated from a campus-wide capture the flag.

So @ my sorry self: don’t tell your depressed head that you don’t want to go back to college again. That you feel alone. People are around you and are beautiful, even if it seems they’re that way only in hindsight.