#Kind of a continuation of earlier
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Actually no I am so pressed like it is actually absurd the number of times I have had to say “well English is my first language” while up here these past few years. to a point it’s like kind of insulting like people seem to ignore all of my background and greater details about myself and focus in on half of my ethnicity.
#mylife#Kind of a continuation of earlier#Honestly it may be in part bc I look more Hispanic now?#Like my hair is darker than when I was younger and I have curly hair now (ty immunosuppressants 🤩)#Like my sister has always had a bit darker features and she had to tell one of her teachers in hs that English was her first language 🤷♀️#I think another reason may be the way I talk? I used to use far more formal vocabulary#So maybe now that verbiage is different I come across as “uneducated” (which is so stupid and problematic)#But honestly I think geography is the biggest thing back home I was white and here I’m “not”#One of my friends was soooooo shocked that my dad was white like he’s “so white” in comparison to like me and my mom and it’s like idk#Not me being pressed about something from like 12 hours ago 😋#But it’s like why is it I have spent almost all my life so normal and I come here and within the last 3 years I’ve had to#Literally point out that English is my first language bc of like stereotypical/insulting assumptions multiple times#Like I hate that it’s my friends that have done it. Like yes old white men at the hospital on 3 occasions have clocked me as not white#Which is whatever but like the whole ‘there’s gotta be something mixed in with you’ from elderly sick pol doesn’t feel nearly as bad as-#-my peers and friends with their directness and implications
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obligatory rock murder mention
#i think someone said earlier that they had kind of a lot of mind control stories 'back in those days'#dont remember where#but now im trying to think if we have a lot of them in new who#and if theres something to that in terms of like societal preoccupations#but i guess im just gonna have to...........continue my classic who watch for that and make notes#what do we have in new who? satan comes to mind#midnight but i feel like thats..........a very particular kind it's not like the hypnosis thing you see here#or with the master#or i think sarah jane in the hand of fear?#maybe its JUST because they had the master around who kept hypnotising people tbh like that seems possible#the unquiet dead but thats ghosts more than mind control#i feel like we've got more bodies being taken over than minds in new who?#like the gas mask thing. midnight like i said. 42 with martha and 10?#love and monsters. idiots lantern. the vashta nerada. that guy who got turned into an ood. the masters thing in end of time#11 and the flesh. the god complex perhaps could be mind control? but feels different to me too#but i also havent watched really a lot of classic who so i dont know the vibe of their supposedly frequent mind control#town called mercy. asylum of the daleks. crimson horror. journey to the centre of the tardis? cybermen#it all feels more about the hijacking of the body than the mind or will or whatever#would be intersting to actually look into#if i continue my classic who watch#biggest mind control in new who might have been those mummy monks in pyramid/lie of the land?
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everyone being weird about emmrich being a mortalitasi like i haven't been getting coffee and babysitting griffons with them for weeks like ???
#very classic dragon age lol but that's what i mean when i say i wish they had accounted for that kind of reactivity to factions earlier#at some point i wish they'd like. figure that out if they're going to continue allowing for factions/origins etc#i don't think a one off line per faction for each companion would be too much? obvs no need to go crazy with it#coiffure texts#dragon age tag#da4 spoilers#dragon age spoilers
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Anyway how is everyone doing
#had to get up at 6 in the morning and therefore had 4 hours of sleep today (a weekly occurence pretty much)#so i just took a nap which took all evening and i'm still tired yayyyyy. because naps only work how they should about 10% of the time#and also i did nothing else today because sleep and now i'm truly wondering what to do with myself anymore#meanwhile i have to get up and go to school again tomorrow 😑 and the day after that 😑 and the day after that 😑#or i could drop out again and have nothing else to do anyway and continue rotting in my room#(whether it's my dorm room or my actual room doesn't matter). what's the pointtttttt#might be reaching some kind of limit or maybe i'm truly just dramatising and should just chill about it all#save me 4 hours of music listening now probably. idk man#got my minimal amount of social interaction today in the form of riding the elevator with 3 of the ppl from my course#when i could have (and normally would have) just taken the stairs instead#i feel like i made a big important step today that will help me later on through this year (no not really)#at least one thing i've noticed recently is that i might have the reverse of what is i guess is usually called seasonal depression#in the sense that now that it's chilly and cloudy and it gets dark earlier i feel like i'm finally LIVING in a way#the good effect of that will probably pass after a week or two though#but also just a bit over a month left now until my birthday and then my long awaited trip!!#anyone else get unreasonably excited for their birthday each year even though there's never anything special about it in the end#and that only makes the day more depressing lol#ok whatever i'm done whining now i think. music time then#celebrating (a bit late) one year of gratsax and lil beethoven today. some of the albums of all time for me personally#goosepost
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the way it's killing me to not come onto this blog and gush about all the AUAUs im writing, because then I'd be giving spoilers, but ahhhlksdhgfdkhgldfhl, you all, they're so fun!!!! I wanna gnaw on something!!!!! Like please, let me out of this hell of my own making so I can share all my shit!!!!!
#rrposts#like i completely acknowledge that i would not have this problem if i just posted everything right now#but then how would i torture anyone?#its not fun if i cant torture you all#so alas it must all be kept a secret for now#(omg am i buck in season one of this au? call that method writing lmao)#anyways yall are going to have a blast with these i think#i know i am#one of them is so fucking stupid and i love that#we need silly stories#but also why are some of these bitches getting angsty on me?#like colloquially known as AUAU 11 why did you do that to me?#im dying to go back and add more AUAUs to the earlier chapters#bc i kind of gained steam with these later on and i have gotten more ideas#like chapter 9 inviting them all the the birthday party or calling Eddie in the truck on the way back from the crash anyway#or chapter 13 with someone questioning his personal emergencies or chris getting dropped off#like those would all be so fun#rn im writing an oceans 9-1-1 AUAU which is very silly (hopefully)#then we'll see#might write those call back AUAUs before continuing on#bc they have been gnawing at my brainnnn
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i love enemies to lovers but we’re unlocking a new dynamic that is enemies AND lovers
#the ghost fic i mentioned earlier is kind of a prequel fic to one of the wips i had#the ‘i know there’s a blade where your heart is’ fic#this draft is even more fun for me to explore just bc i was watching a silly show w my younger brother#we’re binging the entirety of total drama#and i luv my mean girl heather#and even though she really has feelings for this one character#and he returns those feelings!!!#and even tho he throws away a million dollars for her#she just continuously stabs him in the back in pursuit of her own goals#and so i really wanted to write that dynamic#and obvi reader will be somewhat softer n kinder in the pt 2#i think this original fic is so so fun bc i get to write from a perspective of someone who NEEDS to survive#who has to actively always choose their own survival over relying on someone else#and it’s not necessarily a good thing but i get to write why u think that’s the ONLY option for you#and exploring ghost’s reaction to ur constant betrayals is fun as well#just mixing things up a little bit hehe
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OKAY, 1 IVE NEVER SEEN THOSE PICTURES THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR SERVICES AHWPASJQOIWS
(me bc I only blush at pictures of idols. no actually)
IVE NEVER SEEN MY MAN SO BEAUTIFUL BEFOREEE!! HE LOOKS SO MAJESTICC
(I'm so happy I just started a cat pin board on Pinterest. waiting for it to say yechan when I start on my cat saving spree)
im so sad about the watermarks:((( what are those even for???
luv ya!! <333
GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE i had to share with someone and you gave me the perfect opportunity
yechan is very cat coded the venn diagram is a circle on that one ("little guy syndrom™" i whisper)
a lot of fansites do that for credit purposes! unless you mean the boxes in which case thats usually there before they get cleaned up and posted (take this with a grain of salt im using context clues idk how fansites work)
#roadyblr blorb#nah fr caught myself smiling at a beomgyu video earlier#touched grass#im also hoping this fansite is like a good one#and i mean that in a moral sense because a few of them have been going behind security at airports and im like ick thats wrong#if i ever got side eyed by an idol the earth would swallow me up idk how some can do that kind of stuff and continue on like nothing happen#rambling mb thats how i be today
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Y'all get ur paper tissues and keep em W you at all times. I don't think ıts gonna end good for us,,
:]
Though it depends if some of y'all don't take certain confrontations very well, and a whole "you messed me up" type of admissions that have a pathetic/shity excuse given. As well as just uncomfortable situations in general.
Oh! And crying, but not like- the sobbing kind. The kind of crying that makes you feels stupid for crying in the first place. That kind of stuff! :D
#talking daydreams#i'm very excited to continue to write part 3 and see how that goes#kind of like i said in one of the earlier asks-#it's kind of heart wrenching but that depends on who you are
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Various images of things
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. PIBBINS.... cheering clapping hooting hollering glorious applause everytime I see a pigeon in public#2. Birthday card that I drew for someone. .. kittys...#3. 2023's annual haul of tiny white pumpkins.. i get at least one white pumpkin every year around fall when they have pumpkins in stores#because I just love the color and texture ... bright white and smooth and cold and round.. kind of like a volleyball or something#4. A brief adventure into watching big brother (only earlier seasons of course as I hate all reality shows post like 2013 or something when#they became overly focused on social media and overproduced memeable phrases more.. like even though ALL reality shows have always#been extremely fake and annoying and mindless it's like..... newer stuff seems A Different Kind Of Fake or something) since whenever#I'm sick sometimes I find weird mindless things like that to watch (that one time I had bronchitis I watched all of Flavor of Love in my#half awake illness stupor and now everytime I heat up canned minestrone soup (mostly all I ate that week) I think of flavor flav since#thats just a weird brain connection I have now lol) ANYWAY.. I was sick and watched like 2 seasons of this and then thought it was too#uninteresting and obnoxious to continue (more like 1 and a half since I skipped the rest of one once only boring people were left) BUT this#one guy had a very mischevious looking face and he also said a few things (like the above captioned speech) that sounded like dialogue#some fantasy character would say.. so I took a screencap of him and edited him into a mischevious wizard i guess.?? idk I was sick lol#~your little friend has a poisoned tongue~ is just a very unexpectedly serious sounding wording for some random normal#frat dude looking guy to say while casually chatting on a reality tv show in like 2008 or whenever that was filmed lol#5. FLUFFY CLOVERS!! I'd never seen them be furry and soft before?? inchresting..#6. Noodle sitting in bed with the cat figurines looming above him... the council of kittys...#7. McDonald's full breakfast platter + asparagus + strawberries & cream (also of course this is old and I am now boycotting mcdonalds etc)#i try to group the images somewhat consistently like.. winter stuff with winter stuff or summer stuff with summer stuff#but I have so many random pictrues floating around on my computer that I never post that sometimes some are not organized or just#thrown into a set because there's nowhere else for them. Like the pigeon picture is from like 3 years ago for example lol#8 & 9 - I think I've posted these before but I just find them very interesting looking flowers. whenever they happen to be blooming#I'll pick up a few when I'm out on walks or etc. ... poof ball looking things#photo diary
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Maybe it’s just me and my fascination with body horror, but I feel like Cookie Run could get a lot of mileage out of it. Considering you know, they’re Cookies
Show us some messed up looking Cookies that are either products of horrific experiments or some sort of disease that horribly disfigures Cookies until they crumble
#note that when I say fascination I mean like I’m intrigued by it#I haven’t actually seen a lot of it since I have a weak stomach for horror specifically gore and stuff#I like body horror that doesn’t involve gore or intestines or all that stuff#but like I want to see it#this was sort of inspired by the Undertale thing I mentioned earlier#and White Lily being Alphys and thus makes some sort of Cookie Amalgamation#now I want to see White Lily have horrific experiments in her efforts to help Cookies#I recognize that she probably wouldn’t have them she doesn’t seem like the kind of person to continue#if her experiments cause body horror to other Cookies#nor would she experiment on living Cookies without knowing what it’d do#I suppose unless they were like on their deathbed and it was her trying to save them#but regardless I want body horror in Cookie Run#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookie run ovenbreak#random stuff#body horror
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Try + John André?
SEND TRY + A CHARACTER YOU’D LIKE TO SEE ME ( ATTEMPT ) TO WRITE ! / @meerawrites + anonymous + @pagetreader
He could still remember the very first time he saw her: shiny, coquettish eyes, a revoltingly expensive gown, and hair piled high with jewels and strings of pearls -- pearls that now tightened around his heart akin to a vice of his own folly, reminding him of what a damned fool he'd been.
While André sought affirmation and prestige, he learned too little too late that the titles, the accolades, and even the respect were all nothing without Peggy. He was nothing. Such a revelation would have once bothered him, but what were all the trappings in the world, should the true jewel of his heart no longer have a place?
Sullen, he clasped a glass of sherry between his fingertips, holding it loosely while his guest stood behind him with impatience.
"Sir?"
"Yes, I heard you," he grumbled. "Were my earlier instructions not clear? By the good Lord above, it truly is remarkable that some of you can even lace your own damnable boots." Slamming his drink onto the table at his side, he turned and straightened, his eyes flashing like two fiery coals. "You've already had contact from Rogers, have you not? Finish the job. Or need I go out and perform that task for you, as well?"
When the man bowed his head, stiff and reproachful, André turned back towards the roaring fireplace, scowling down into the dancing flames with visible scorn. Nearly all of his problems began and ended with that infernal man, so with any small scrap of mercy, the issue would soon be over and done with...
#meerawrites#pagetreader#Anonymous#try a character meme#//wow everyone was thirsty for some andre lmao#this was kind of hard since i'm getting tired/worn out#but i basically decided to make it the guy who rogers k.illed in my earlier ask#so dun dun dunnn continuity! lol
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which character in Yakuza do you think has the best development?
everyone gonna say im biased but genuinely daigo has my favorite character development throughout the series
#snap chats#he's the only one with any real notable character growth tbh if i may be so daring to say#aside from kashiwagi too tbh. i also really love his change but bro's here for like three games so 💀#i think its just that his is more abundant#he goes from a punk to being a responsible man and i love it every time i acknowledge it#like yeah he fumbles around a bit but we see him figure things out and sort himself out and it's really great to watch#it feels satisfying almost- even if he ultimately has to end the thing he fought so hard for in the name of kiryu#tho daigo willing to end it opposed to be obstinate and continue to fight against it is pretty big for his character#idk i just dont think people give daigo's character the credit it deserves#like hes not loud or overly flashy he's very much in the background but i guess thats why i love him#like his changes dont come with a kind of fanfare or obvious Aha moment on screen- its just something you notice over time#well maybe except in Y2 where we DO get that pivotal This Is His Changing Point moment#but after that we just see him grow and try to get comfortable in his new position as chairman#sorry i have Daigo Lover disease. its terminal i was watching a clip of him earlier and felt my heart grow three sizes
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i cant promise more hanahaki today (unlikely until like sunday tbh) but i can say i'll try my best to start writing when i get back from the store
#i am an insecure lil fool but so far everyone has been so nice and saying such kind things despite all the niches and such ;;#its really doing what i was hoping it would with me posting it earlier than intended and that is to motivate me to continue with it#so. to anyone thats read and said something nice about the hanahaki so far. thank you. seriously 💜#it makes such a huge difference to a smol writer to hear someone likes what they do and take the time to say it 💜💜#night is an absolute mess on main
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oooh I have POLLS and a backlog of asks and meme things I've finally had the brain to start answering. Happily answering! Just belatedly answering. Sorry its taken so long! the last 2 and a half months have put me through a grinder. I have this narrow window where my anxiety is not too bad right now. But I'm probably going to spiral in another couple of days because life is just a lot at the moment and I should use this less anxious time as much as I can.
I have no idea what kind of polls to make but maybe I'll spit out some over the weekend. Oh maybe I'll share some Witcher fanart too. Feeling ambitious nowwwww.
I am perennially behind on all my saved fic reading, too, but I managed to read and comment through about half the smutty drabbles from the recent rarepair Smubbles collection. Here are the witcher goodies! 91 entries this round! Some really incredible Witcher fics you don't want to miss if you love rare pairs! There are about 36 total fandoms represented in this collection and the other fics are looking GOOOOOD. Star Wars, MCU, some book fandoms, other movie fandoms. I love me a good short form story. I don't think I even crossposted my drabbles and ficlets from the November and December smubble collections. I could try and do that this weekend, too, since I wrote a few drabbles this week. I'll go from "rarely posting things on tumblr" to "posting nonstop trickle of thoughts, squee, and other randomness." It probably helps that I'm spending less time on Twitter and need to redirect some of my fannish thoughts somewhere and Tumblr seems to be a great place for that.
Alright, time to get through this first part of my day and we'll see how I can get myself together from there!
#my mind continues to be a pinball ricocheting everywhere#but i am working on the wip tag game i got tagged in earlier this week which is exciting#really wondering what kind of polls to make#i have so many thoughts and fic and vid wips so maybe i'll make a poll about them and integrate it into the wip tag game or something#or maybe something else#the poll world is my oyster#or something#my posts
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just remembered that we still haven't like. addressed the fives thing in tbb
#and I can't imagine echo *doesn't* know but god what a wasted opportunity#there's fan service which wouldn't affect the plot#but then there's 'hey echo your brother and best friend died and in hindsight we realize he was trying to blow the whistle#on that whole order 66 thing from earlier'#I THINK THAT MAY HAVE HAD SOME IMPACT#and I've been thinking about Echo and how he seems dejected and kind of dead inside#now I have two theories:#the first is that the writers continue to use him as set dressing and to take the leader role if hunter's absent#BUT#the second theory is that Echo's despondency is because he's so drawn to rebelling against the empire#that he sees no goddamn point to what the batch has been doing for the near half-season now#I mean we pretty much got him laying his point on the table in the first episodes of the season#only to never really talk about it again#I wonder if that's deliberate#or not!!! who knows
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I THINK I DID OK ON MY FRENCH EXAM???????? HOURRA!!!!
#LIKE THERE IS NO WAY IM GETTING A 1 KIND OF OK. 3 IS FEASIBLE 4 IS POSSIBLE 2 IS ALSO POSSIBLE. ALRIGHT!!!!!#the multiple choice had me stabbing and clawing at my legs the whole time it was AWFUL i couldnt tell what they were saying at ALL#but i think i was able to fake it decently well we'll see#the email response was alright (though i didnt close elegantly oops)#and the essay was surprisingly good??? i fully didnt do half the essays we were assigned (sorry madame </3) but i finished before time was#up. and it was pretty ok too as far as little french essays go#i fully didnt respond to like 3/5 prompts in the conversations task lol. that's a 1 for sure and i knew that going in#not my best but pretty comparable to most of my performances on the task prior. me when audio processing#AND THE CULTURAL COMP WAS ON ONE OF THE ONLY TOPICS I COULD CONFIDENTLY SPEAK ABOUT LET'S GOOOOOOOO#i was SO excited when i saw that lol. yes thats MY topic of choice hehehe#waaaaaaahhh im so happy it's over!!! i was so scared!!!!! plus it was like 4 hours long which is fucking bonkers to mr#i thought the mcqs would be like 60 mins but no. ig bc of the audio prompts#sheeshhhh i can barely even feel scared about The Problem from earlier today bc im sooo happy (<- this will have consequences later)#anyway the writing tasks in particular made me feel like i knew a lot more french than i thought. makes me wanna continue it even though#my incentive's gone :))#and i mean. we'll see ig. but I'd love to get better at it. the hope is that im gonna sunk cost fallacy my way into fluency basically#anyway hellll yeahhhhh#mwah mwah#etc
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