#Kenny still loses his shit in this au

[mashedmangos]

Gang the art isn't the best rn because it's 2am sos

Anyways, today's '_____ lives au' is Ben :3

[eldritch-spouse]

lmao Vesper 😭😭😭

Ok wait for me I have new genius idea for crackass scapegoat!AU

Reader is the poor employee with a curse of being a magnet for Icons. They're trying their best, applying for the jobs in the most "human" spaces – but it's useless to try, it's only matter of time when they're meeting face to face with something very huge and demonic. They're not even trying, really. They're not even at some high position. They're just too unlucky to being the one who listens to all complaints and death threats... yet still very lucky to somehow remain alive after that.

After being kicked out from the theatre, their first honest job, they're totally broke. Underground casino? Yeah, yeah, shady. Sign them up!

Work is actually not so bad until some strange green giant scolds the shit out of them for "playing cheap" and almost brings them to that hot shithole– good thing he got distracted and the only thing poor employee lost are all their money and a job.

Damn, here we go again- Nothing could be wrong with working in a popular restaurant, yeah? Everyone gone through it-

Oh, how lucky they're to stay alive after that day when enormous snake woman decided to visit their modest establishment of a workplace. Their coworker, fellow waiter, is not so lucky tho. Poor Kenny.

With a generous amount of trauma, our scapegoat is escaping to something- something completely different, you know? They got a jackpot! Luck is TOTALLY on their side after all this suffering, how else you can explain that they got a job in that prestigious boutique?

... Well, let's say, they haven't break in tears only because of their lack of dignity at this point. That guy was marvelous, but he almost crashed them into the pulp with all his requirements- they're not even a designer, really....

Okay, maybe, they need to take a rest. Big rest. Take their stress out somewhere. Ikea, furniture store, bed section. Peace and love.

How it's even possible to be fired from a chill place like this? Oh, that's easy. Some buff dude built like a mountain just sorta appeared and fell asleep at the one of the biggest beds- and for some reason they fell asleep on their workplace while it happened. When they woke up tho, here was no one but a broken bed and complain in the customer's book.

That's it. That's a last nerve they had. They're escaping to the amusement park, to be the clown they are and being paid for it, as they deserve.

Only to be mocked by a guy with a fucking macaroni limbs. No, here was other people too, but he brought the greatest display of mockery and dishonour ever possible. Even their destroyed dignity somehow reanimated just to get beat down again.

...

Kalymir has zero idea why he woke up with a strong desire to go on the fucking "DOTA tournament" and tf it even means, but he already hyped up and ready to crush in-

After having to gamble at the same table as the Lord of Greed and nearly losing ownership of your soul.

After working at a restaurant good enough that the Queen of Gluttony unintentionally erotically fellated your entire body and made you feel like a twinkie.

After getting your department in IKEA utterly destroyed by the King of Sloth's insistence that he nap specifically in your section.

After having the King of Pride rip into you so viciously that you only wished you had been swallowed.

After having the King of Envy out-clown you.

And now, seeing what you can only guess is the King of Wrath well on his way to likely turn you into a stain on the wall...

You think of what could have been. Before this chain of horrid luck took over your life. In that one first job where you had to confront Vesper about his tendency for "group affections"-

Maybe you really should have just taken the deal and sucked him off.

[blub-blub-bish]

Zombie Kenny, but every time he dies, he comes back and slowly becoming a zombie again

A very much self indulgent, Kenny centered, zombie au idea. Aka, a long ass idea that over uses the word “which “ and “HOWEVER “

Long ass idea below cut vvv

Basically, Kenny, who can’t stay dead, got bit in the zombie apocalypse. the first time he got bit, he became a normal zombie, like usual. After around a week, he lost consciousness and ended up in the afterlife.in hell he watched his body, still roaming around on earth, and thought “ oh, this must be it. I’m dead. For good.” Not really sure if he should feel sad or happy, but he’s dead for good. Right?

WRONG.

When his body, that for some reason decompose faster than others, decomposed enough and dies, he came back a normal human. HOWEVER, his body is slowly decomposing again, which has pros and cons.

The pros:

•He’s practically immune, considering he’s like…partially a zombie already

•The zombies think he’s one of them, so now, He can walk through a zombie horde or just wander around without getting chased and shit.

•He doesn’t need much sleep. He only needed around 2 hours of sleep to last 2 days, making him a great night guard.

•Cthulhu took pity on him and decided he would respawn around his allies every time he dies.

•He’s very light, people could pick him up like those school skeleton models and just carry him around.

The cons:

•His body is literally deteriorating, which hurts like a bitch. He feels constantly like he’s slowly dying (which he is)

•Because his body deteriorates over time, at some point, his body is wayyy too weak to function. So he had to either, kill himself, or wait until the virus kill him. Which can take months.

•He usually already have to kill himself every 2 weeks. If he does it over 2 weeks, he would literally lose control over his own body.

•When he lost control over his body (over 2 weeks), he is still conscious. But like watching a movie, he can’t do anything. Just watch. That’s why when he starts to feel like he’s loosing control over his own body, he kills himself.

•After finding allies, he would ask someone he trusted to make sure to kill him if he went over the 2 weeks mark. His allies usually remind him when this happens.

•After a week , he can’t cook for others. 1, because his tongue is usually dead, so he doesn’t taste shit, and 2, because his skin starts to peel, which might fell into the food. Which sucks because my headcanon is that his love language is cooking for others.

•Speaking of food, my guy could only eats meat and chocolate.

• If he doesn’t eat for over a day, he would literally go crazy and bite any meat (human, animal, don’t matter) which would turn the thing that he bites into zombies.(if he doesn’t eat the whole thing)

• The meat and muscles in his body rots, so he smells like shit all the time :v. Mf have to practically bathe in perfume so he doesn’t smell like a corpse.

———-

Why does his body still deteriorates you may ask?

Because Im the writer and I say so./j

The somewhat more logical explanation of that is because he was still conscious for a while after he got bit, aka his body is still somewhat alive. If only the zombies ate him, he would have been able to comeback normal. But they didn’t. So now he had to live with his curse. Womp womp

“Oh, but his curse make people forget he died.” Yes. People still forget that he died. HOWEVER, they still remember that he got bit. They still remember him saying he can’t permanently die and genuinely believe him when he started to look like an actual zombie. Like, his skin starts peeling, his meat and muscles starts rotting (which he usually rips out with a knife bc it smells like shit. Ripping it out also slowed the deterioration process), and bone LITERALLY showing on his arms and legs, yet he still have control over his body.

When he kill himself, he usually comes back after 2-3 days, but if the virus kills him, aka the virus taking over, giving him around 3 very, VERY, painful months, he would come back around a month or 2 . Basically recovering mentally and physically in the afterlife.

Basically, his life sucked for the rest of his existence. Even satan and Damian took pity on him, but they can’t really do anything considering his curse is in Cthulhu’s hands.

[the-ourple-ouppy]

NEW AU ALERT!!

Here me out here. DSAF and South Park. Smush them together.

(DISCLAIMER: This AU will probably end up having Kyman in it. Sorry not sorry!!)

A Freddy's location opens in South Park, and after the usual missing children's incident happens there, Kyle insists they have to go check it out. The rest of the main 4 aren't really that enthusiastic about it, but Kyle basically drags them there.

Unlike the rest of the dumbasses in South Park, the main four aren't fucking blind and see Jack dragging the bodies out to the dumpster. Aside from freaking out about a literal MURDERER in their town, they also question why the fuck this guy is fucking orange and looks like a walking corpse like what. After collectively losing their shit for a few minutes, Cartman decides to follow Jack back to the saferoom, and the rest of the main 4 go after Cartman.

Of course, they get fucking caught. They walk in on Dave and Jack kissing talking about their plan, and Cartman says, "Holy shit dude!" which is why they get caught. Dave and Jack try to kill the main 4 because no witnesses and all that, and they're about to kill Stan when Kenny jumps in front of him and gets killed.

"Oh my god, they killed Kenny!"

"You bastards!"

The main four run out of the saferoom, freaking the fuck out.

The next day, on their way to work, Dave and Jack see the main 4 by the bus stop, and when they see Kenny there with them they're like, "What the fuck? Didn't we kill that kid?"

They go up to the main 4, confused as all hell, asking about how the fuck Kenny was still alive.

"Oh, he's immortal." Cartman says casually. Kyle and Stan are surprised, along with Dave and Jack. Cartman then asks about what the fuck is up with Dave and Jack and why their orange and purple and stuff, and Dave and Jack kinda explain their whole situation.

Idrk what to do after that but my plan is that the main 4 kinda just hang out with the DSAF crew (basically DSAF 2 + Steven is there for some reason).

Stan would be kinda nervous around Dave and Jack, usually choosing to hang out with Dee or Peter. (Steven, Matt, and Ronaldo all intimidate/scare him.)

Kenny would just try to die in every way possible, and Jack is happy to show him all the dangerous ass shit at Freddy's. The two of them also bond over being both orange and immortal. (My HC is that Jack remembers all the times he died/got the Springlocked or Stuffed Endings.)

Cartman keeps trying to one-up Dave and Jack crime-wise. Like, he'll tell them about how he fed a kid his own parents, and Jack or Dave will just go "That's fun! I kill children for a living and have at least 3 fake ID's." Like they are completely unfazed by the shit Cartman's done.

Kyle doesn't trust Dave and Jack for a second. He hangs out with Steven quite a lot (definitely not a found family or anything), and warns Kenny and Cartman against being near Jack and Dave, always berating Cartman about how he shouldn't try to provoke them because he's going to get himself killed. (Also dw yall Kyle will eventually warm up to Jack and Dave but he's Kyle so he'll be all stubborn about it)

Would love to hear yall's thoughts on this AU!!

Also Henry probably wont have a major role in this AU because it's based off the Gnarly and Radical endings :]

[spookyheaad]

Another art dump

Uhhh potpourri, a mix of modern/actor AU KenUno & some Tesoro/Stella, as well as some angst Interloper shit; cause I need to reignite my brain for angsty Tesoro stuff. Also working on music zine things behind the scenes :)

@p-riama @girlwiththepapatattoo

Finally coloring them 😌 feat. Tesoro in the top left, not having a fun time, by the looks of it. I adjusted the pose where Kenny is wrapping his arms around Unohana from behind, the addition of her holding his arm as though she’s urging him to continue, *chef’s kiss* perfection.

I need to draw Kenny & Unohana kissing a lot, as a treat.

Fr, a lot. Feat. Kenpachi Zaraki taking a ten second pause to absorb a thought.

I absolutely love how this Unohana sketch came out, I’m finally seeing so much progress in terms of how I draw women. I struggle with it a lot because I’m focused on men most of the time when I draw, but I’m so happy that I’m finally seeing more progress with how I draw women!

Maybe she’s knitting, maybe she’s looking down at Zaraki, who is resting his head on her lap, idk :)

More KenUno Shenanigans. Traveling to the Bleach set, couldn’t get seats next to one another, of course Kenny misses her. He can’t hold her hand.

I love Interloper so much, I can look at it & go “wow I made that character to torment Tesoro! It needs to be as vile as possible!”

It’s hard to get full detail obv when I draw it further away, esp in the face, because the cheekbones & eye sockets are very important to how it will look in the finished piece. I usually draw them first & adjust as I go.

And you bet your ass Tesoro is a Ghost fan, pls they’re right up his alley.

I had the sketch for this one in my files forever now, so I just put some rough inks on it tonight. Interloper’s chin is a liiittle too big in this; have to move it’s teeth lower.

Might try to change Tesoro’s expression, he is way too relaxed with Interloper nearly crawling down his back. in terms of the Tesoro/Stella fic, and my ideas for whenever Interloper appears; Tesoro will never get used to it. Idk, if you saw an audio/visual hallucination of your elongated messed up corpse, feeling it’s presence around, etc. have it off you in your own dreams; I’d be a garbage mess too.

An idea that I have. Not sure if I’ll use this idea for the fic, but I’ll still share it because I like the sketches. As Tesoro continues to atone for his atrocities, as well as begins to process his severe trauma, Interloper becomes more and more incapacitated; from losing its legs, then it’s arms, to where it becomes a stump on the floor that can only try to taunt and influence Tesoro through his thoughts to harm himself. Tesoro is still afraid of it regardless of it being unable to walk; it’s presence alone is enough to make him cower. But, seeing it in such a state of weakness, it’s just more confirmation that he’s moving in the right direction.

[hitchell-mope]

Timeline differences in season three of the My Universe au.

For starters. Because Mon El never left. Kara’s happy at the start of the season. She does get an official warning from Cat afte they’re found in Kara’s office TogetherTM. But apart from that there’s no angst. At least. Not yet.

With regard to Imra and Brainy. They still show up to save Kara after the Christmas fight with Reign. And Imra tells them that Mon El needs to go to the future and marry her because Politics. And naturally. Both Kara and Mon El are HIGHLY opposed to it. So you see? ANGST!!!!

With Reign. Poor Samantha still believes that Lena can help her. So Lena still exploits Samantha’s nosocomephobia and still uses the synthesised kryptonite on her. Which still doesn’t fucking work. And this time. Lena is assisted by Maxwell Lord. And yes. It’s her romance plot. A match made in petty villainous hell. Don’t you think?

On a somewhat brighter side. Mon El drives Kara and Alex to Midvale after Alex and Maggie break up. Don’t worry. Kenny’s still in the flashbacks. Because in this au. None of the men get treated like shit. Except for Lex and Maxwell of course

Morgan Edge is NOT a run of the mill chauvinist in this. If you would like some more specifics then please refer to this post for details: https://www.tumblr.com/hitchell-mope/748460767729287169/morgan-edge-in-the-my-universe-au

Lucy comes back as the DEO’s official military liaison. And she reconnects with James and gives him some pointers on stealth, techniques and the like for his Guardian identity. Which brings them even closer and they start dating again. So no unholy character assassination here writers. You dumbasses.

On a more angsty note. The prospect of Mon El having to go to the future weighs heavily on the both of them. So when they cross dimensions and go to westallen’s wedding, but before the Nazi duplicates show up, so like the day before when they’re all prepping, like, just before Alex and Sarah hookup, Kara asks Barry for some advice and Mon El asks Iris for some advice. Because westallen have more experience with the spacetime continuum than most couples do.

Ruby eventually finds out about Reign. She panics and thinks it’s her fault because Brainy lets slip that Ruby being born postponed the worldkiller programming. Mon El runs damage control and tells Ruby that her being born allowed The Hyde to lay dormant until Samantha could meet supergirl and the team who could help her. Of course Ruby’s a teenager so this doesn’t work quite as well as intended. But still. Ruby greatly appreciates Mon El’s (or “Uncle Mike’s”) help.

They end up being able to save Samantha from Lena and Maxwell’s experimentation and both her and Ruby are put under the DEO’s protection. While there. Winn and Samantha strike up a connection and Ruby and Carter become friends.

When M'yrnn’s telepathy goes haywire it’s Mon El who loses it and yells at Imra and Brainy for expecting him to leave Kara, their friends and their entire life together behind in the name of so called duty. It only makes Kara love him more.

Sadly. Samantha does get briefly taken over by Reign, the brief time travel thing still happens and Kara does get cloned like in canon. Except. Brainy and Winn are able to use Legion technology, as well as M’gann’s Martian powers to quell and rejoin the two halves of Samantha’s psyche and save everyone. Good old sci-fi mumbo jumbo really. A little bit cliche. But it works 99.9% of the time. So it’s fine.

When everything’s over. Imra finally gets it that Mon El has a life of his own and with the blight vanquished and Samantha in full control of the Reign persona there’s no need to stay. So she goes back home to 30th Century alone.

Before she leaves. She asks Brainy to stay in the 21st Century and keep an eye on Samantha. Just in case. Winn also stays and asks Samantha out to dinner. To his happy surprise the accepts. Plus. Winn gives Mon El his supersuit. Same as in canon. Except this time. Winn’s included the House Of El insignia. Karamel love it.

Brainy also gives Mon El a Legion ring. In the event that he changes his mind. Mon El uses the ring to propose to Kara. And she accepts. Just in time for angst in season 4.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

wife wife i have no music taste, but you feel musical to me! will you drop any songs you relate to your universes stans, kyles and style in general? if not music books, other characters, pieces of media, quotes, poems? i am insatiable darling <3

YOYOYO!!!!!!

First of all hello my wife my wife the love of my life! (I did in fact ride half of my first year of college on a music scholarship)

OKAY so you know how heavily I associate Fall Out Boy with Stan in general (mostly bc I like projecting and I’m a gremlin abt fob) SPECIFICALLY Infinity On High (I know we’ve discussed this before and yes I’m still unhinged abt the 27 rm thing) AND I’ve said a LOT abt OrangeJuiceVerse Stan being musically inclined as one of his main outlets.

(I will be mainly sticking to ojv bc that do be my main focus atm)

So Stan will play literally whatever on the guitar and he can improvise SO WELL!!! Like it’s wild but he’s just like eh it’s a casual hobby but he hears a song and immediately knows the basic chord progression and bpm he’s the king of countermelodies too. Kenny will start playing something and then Stan will pop in with the most gorgeous harmonies and just…. fall in.

Stan will listen to ANYTHING he especially loves songs with a story (I’m sticking to ATLCTS for him being a Tenacious D fan bc I very much enjoy that) and Kyle, while Stan is all “LISTEN TO THAT CELLO BREAK” Kyle Is all fully into the lyricism and losing his shit about RAINDROPS ON ROSES AND GIRLS IN WHITE DRESSES AND SLEEPING WITH- (I feel like they have similar tastes but for different reasons if u get me)

My Kyle’s for sure are lyrics gremlins. Stan will be like KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE but Kyle will be WAIT LOOK THE STORY HOLY SHIT SYMBOLISM(smh they whole ass watch musicals together and neither of them stfu) (losers)

(This is unhinged I’m eepy) so song specific idk man but I feel in my soul that Stan’s hopeless romantic ass serenades Kyle on a regular basis ESPECIALLY when he’s in an Emo Boy Mood like this man thinks he’s Orpheus or something ALSO Stan is incredibly specific about having certain playlists for every single situation and the “Super Best Spicy Time” playlist is INCREDIBLY LAME!!! (I’m talkin Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and Mr Brightside was playing during their first time) like they are losers your honor

On FOB Stan I’m currently specifically feeling him with What A Catch, The (After) Life Of The Party, From Now On We Are Enemies, Golden, Fame< Infamy, The (Shipped) Gold Standard, She’s My Winona, Disloyal Order, A Little Less Sixteen Candles, Heavens Gate, SOPHOMORE SLUMP IS SO STYLE OMG

Sorry that was a lot I’m very passionate abt the fob Stan thing

EVERY LAME ASS SAPPY LOVE SONG IS EXTREMELY STYLE TO ME!!! If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell, I’ll Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie, LINE WITHOUT A HOOK?!? Nothing Matters But You by The Young Veins, Northern Downpour and When The Day Met The Night by Panic, I Think I Love You by Tenacious D, All I Ask Of You from Phantom (btw I saw someone draw a style phantom of the opera au it slayed so hard), Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John (there’s this scene in a fic I read where Stan plays it for Kyle on his guitar and I lost my mind), ofc Carry On Wayward Son, Accidentally In Love by the counting crows, Turn Off The Lights from the Vices and Virtues bonus tracks, As Long As You’re Mine from Wicked (I feel like Kyle fuckinh loves Wicked) All I’ve Ever Known from Hadestown.

OJV Kyle for sure listens to the acoustic versions of pop songs and is SUCH a sap (he won’t admit it as much as Stan tho) like he’ll pause a song after a particularly clever or romantic line and just be like DID YOU HEAR THAT! Stan writes songs every once in a while and whenever he writes for Ky he always tries to paint a story because that’s what Kyle likes help I love them so much

As for other media I associate w the boys, bruh lemme tell ya the sp brainrot is so real I physically cannot watch or read anything without imagining a couple as style (literally last night my partner and I were watching the picture lock of the last feature we worked on and I’m over here looking at the two main characters like hmm who is Stan who is Kyle I’m the WORST)

Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure is so Them to me holy shit like best friends getting into situations and being obsessed with each other I love that shit (u can’t tell me Bill and Ted aren’t in love)

This comes as no surprise to anyone but Lord Of The Rings for sure, especially since i decided that they speak elvish to each other on the regular

I’ve also said it before but!!! As a massive PJO/Riordanverse fan, THEY ARE SO PERCABETH CODED!!! We got Stan/Percy as the reluctant hero who everyone looks to, Kyle/Annabeth as the badass short tempered voice of reason, like DUDE.

(Also I hope you know how much your fics have influenced my mindset like I’ll drive past Taco Bell and be like o look style moment and I saw Fireball at the gas station and thought abt rm Stan)

Anyway this is long as SHIT I’m completely insane it’s fine THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK ILY

[omegawolverine]

🤡 ⛔ 👀

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

snippet from my crenny tumblr crush au where kenny runs a kpop blog named "bimboytaeyong". idk i just think the line about his pinned having 92 likes followed by "what is this dude fucking famous?" is really funny

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

i dont usually scrap fics, i either finish them in one night, take like a year to write a oneshot or, in the case of chaptered fics, i write half of it and then lose motivation and dont touch it for like 2 years but ermmm off the top of my head i can think of three scrapped fics. the first two were scrapped mostly bc i didnt wanna write for that fandom anymore but the third one was a reddie fic that i started writing for a creative writing grade in high school? i dont think ive ever turned in creative writing that wasnt fic and this was fine with most of my teachers but this specific teacher did not like the idea of me writing this reddie fic for a grade so i ended up turning in a different fic where the characters were less identifiable and i planned to finish the reddie fic at some point but then IT chapter 2 came out and i started writing a different IT fic and now i dont even rly like reddie anymore? like im a stozier girl now what am i gonna do with like 5 paragraphs of a reddie fic i wrote in 2017?

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

okay so technically i started this crimeboys/tommy centric wip in like 2021 and it was meant to be a sort of prequel or idk partner piece for this sbi fic where it kinda follows the same plot points like. start with tommy being born, skip to important, somewhat happy moment in tommy's life, skip to a less happy but still important moment in tommy's life, end with wilburs death or maybe tommy's death instead idk i didnt think it through THAT much but ive kinda only got the first part done and part of the second part done and it's not bad, I actually rly like the start of it, but i also just find it hard to write fics about dsmp canon (even if this is pretty canon divergent tbh) as opposed to writing like hdfi which is a zombie au or tsmpa which is an umbrella academy au? idk i just like writing aus bc then i dont have to remember canon i can just make shit up LMAO

[catfuyus]

They Don’t Know You Like I Do | ft. Draken

Summary: You’ve been fighting with Toman since your middle school days, climbing the ranks and befriending Draken and Mikey. But now that everyone is going into high school, Draken worries you’re wasting your potential by staying in the gang

Tags: fluff, comfort, shout out to my main man Ken for being the coolest

A/N: Everyone’s alive AU because I love them all and this is for my mental health anyway. Idk if this is long enough or if I got what i wanted out of it, but maybe I’ll expand it later lol also couldn’t decide if I wanted it to be romantic or not !

“The next time I catch you ditching, I’m gonna kick your ass.” Draken grumbles as he tightens another bolt on the CB250T. “I mean it (y/n), you can’t keep pullin’ this shit.”

Your toe nudges at an oil stain on the garage floor, trying unsuccessfully to erase it with the rubber of your boot. “I don’t see you giving shit to Baji for ditching,” you mutter under your breath.

“Baji’s not going to college. We’ll be lucky if he graduates high school.”

“Hey!” You send a small smirk his way, watching as he continues to work on the bike without looking up. “I’ve been tutoring him, he’s gotten a lot better!”

“You’re missing my point.” Ken Ryuguji stands from his seat, wiping the grease from his hands on the little yellow rag, before looking at you full on.

The intensity of his gaze sends shivers down your spine, and even though you’re intimidated, you can’t will yourself to look away.

“You’re not a dumb kid, (y/n). Fighting in middle school was okay, we had some good times, but you’re smarter than that. You need to get your priorities straight. I don’t want us dragging you down, not when you have so much potential.”

You frowned at the tall man, unwilling to hear anything he was saying. “My priorities straight?” You echoed. “What makes you think you can tell me what my priorities should be? You’re my friend, Kenny. Not my family. You don’t have a right to tell me how to live my life. Don’t go confusing the two.”

Spinning on your heel, you stormed for the open garage.

“Hey!” Draken called out for you, chasing you as far as the exit, but losing you the moment you hopped on your bike and sped off into the street.

。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The dull thud of fist hitting muscle rattled through your ears. Your own labored breathing getting more pronounced as the fight wore on. It was getting bad. The fight had started with you against five, easy enough odds with your experience, but one asshole called for backup, and now you’re fighting ten goons on and off, timing your attacks between assholes on the ground and assholes that get back up.

“Somebody just grab this bitch, I’m done playing.” A pair rushed you as the guy yelled. You deflected them easily enough, until someone still on the ground grabbed your ankle, pulling you down in a rough crash.

Before you could scramble back up, they grabbed your arms and legs, holding you down on your back as you faced the starless sky. “Oh shit,” you half laughed, pulling against the arms restraining you as half the group of guys neared. “It really takes this many of you to hold a girl down?” You teased.

“You’re part of the Tokyo Manji Gang, aren’t you?” He seethed. “I recognize your little face.” Blood trickled down the gash on his forehead. He licked at the drop as it neared his lips, glaring down at your restrained form. “I’ve got a score to settle with them.”

Your mind lit up in panic, imagining every worst case scenario and possibility, before you shoved it back down and willed yourself to calm. Begged yourself to keep your compose. There had to be a way out. There was always a way out. “Yeah,” you joked, “they’re not super popular with other gangs. I’d be happy to take a message for you?”

A few of the goons laughed. The main one cracked his neck, spit a clod of blood on the floor, and leaned down to grab your chin roughly with his dirty fingers. “That’s not what I had in mind.”

That sound. The roaring of a familiar engine zigging its way through the side streets. Getting louder and louder with the passing seconds. Oh thank god.

All the men standing were on the ground in an instant, knocked unconscious. The rest of the guys holding you down got up and started running as soon as they saw them.

You sat up to glare at your savior. Of course you’d recognize the sound of his engine. Of course you’d needed his help. But you were still angry about your earlier conversation, and losing a fight was not helping you prove your point.

Draken held an outstretched hand to you to help you back up. You stood on your own, pulling Baji’s spare hair tie from your hair and wincing as the motion put pressure on a few new bruises and scrapes. “Not gonna thank me?” He asked.

“Thanks,” you grumbled before you turned your back on him, spitting the blood that had collected in your mouth out onto the sidewalk. Shoving your hands into your pockets as you began to walk away.

“Hey, we’re not done yet.” He called after you, grabbing your wrist to stop you.

You meant to spin your head and glare daggers into his eyes. You meant to look so angry he would instantly let go. Instead, as you turned your head to face one of your best friends, tears welled up in your eyes and you found yourself struggling to keep your lip from trembling. He loosened his grip on your wrist to pull you into his chest, patting gently as you squeezed your eyes shut, clenching your fists tightly at your side.

Neither of you said anything until your breathing steadied.

You hugged him back for a moment, muscles relaxing as the tension from the moment passed. Draken’s chest was always warm and welcoming. You pressed your cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt, slowly breathing in his scent as your body relaxed.

He let you hold him there for as long as you needed to. But you broke away just before falling into a drowsy state that would soon be coming after the adrenaline from your fight wore off. You made your way to his motorcycle.

“College, huh?” You smirked as Draken helped you strap the helmet to your head. He smiled back.

“Surprised you got any brains left in you with the way you fight.”

Letting out a small laugh as he revved the engine, you wrapped your arms around his middle.

“More brains than you.”

©️bajisfist | please do not plagiarize, repost, or redistribute in any way without permission. Like or reblog if you enjoyed it !

[misticloyal]

Bloodlust

Alright I binged this fic because everyone is losing their minds over it (link)

and...

I FUCKING LOVED IT OBVIOUSLY

And so I decided to be a try hard and write what I thought about it like one of those really old grandmas that have nothing else better to do then write book reviews on goodreads.

So. First off the first thing I thought of when I saw this fic was ‘oh boy it’s a vampire AU, I trust the author because it’s slow burn and seems well written but still, we proceed with caution’

Which, is understandable seeing as every Twilight and/or Vampire Diaries fan I ever meet is a fangirl of some kind that spends way to much time sipping instead of enjoying the plot.

I get into it pretty well honestly, a lot of moments in it had me doing the one thing. Y’know where you put down your phone and have to take a moment to run around the room and talk to yourself about what happens like 

‘OH MY GODS KYLE NO GOD PLEASE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT LISTEN I HATE THAT GUY TOO BUT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GODS CHILL TF OUT’

And clearly that ended well for me B)

Moving forward, I’d like to list all the details that made me appreciate the author for writing this way to much (I guess be careful with spoilers if you want to read it, I won’t spoil the ending but I mean- details means details so proceed with caution then):

- The use of lace code to identify an Neo-Nazi and the usage of patches and in general symbols to indicate he was a Nazi. This literally made me almost lose it because as a person in punk culture beating up Nazi’s, racists, fascists, etc. is totally up my ally so props to the author for that it was awesome to read that bit 

-Also love that the guy’s name is ‘Deigo’ I literally could not tell you why but something about it just makes me feel the happy chemicals lol

-LoveloveLOVE how the dynamic between Cartman and Kyle is handled, obviously we’ve all heard of Pine and Mountain kyman and honestly, if I could describe the way I prefer their dynamic this fic got it pretty close. (I’d be lying if I didn’t enjoy the occasional power imbalance one-shot between them)

Basically we’ve got both Kyle and Cartman being experts in their own fields (especially now that Kyle’s a vamp) but it’s award winning placemenship that lets them be balanced like that. When one succeeds the other does too, just to not as big of a degree. It’s not written like those not-quite-satisfying scenarios where one wins and the other loses everything (I guess the actual episodes are guilty of that, huh?)

-I pretty much think the second to last chapter where Cartman drives like a madman is just *chefs kiss*

Kyle is terrified but still looking over to see if Cartman’s okay and the guy is just MANIC as he’s got his hands on the wheel, and it’s in a way reminiscent of when Kyle goes manic for the first time when he kills someone.

-The scene with Kenny Cartman and Kyle all cuddling in the motel, what can I say I’m a sucker for all types of love not just romantic. Platonic is 👌

-OH YEAH I almost forgot this, but the first time Kyle uses hypnosis made me jump out of me bed saying ‘holy shit holy shit he just did that’ over and over again and I scared my cat so he gets an honorable mention.

-And of course last but not least, I thank every god there is that the author made this have a happy ending :’) When I looked through the chapter names I was like ‘BRO YOU BETTER NOT DO THIS, I SEE THAT “BLEEDING OUT” CHAPTER YOU’RE NOT FOOLING ME BITCH’ Oh man, so I’m glad I said that in vain 

Then of course, something that were a little surprising, but it’s not like I'm going to die- it’s probably just personal taste,

-Stan. I think everything about Stan is kinda off but like- ugh I can’t explain it. I’m not sure if it’s favoritism or if I’m just weird but as a person who hates Stan’s character (it’s mostly because I’ve been in Kyle’s position a lot where I’ve dealt with a past friend that expressed themselves like he does in the show and in this fic) you’d expect me to be super happy that he got treated this way in the fic. 

I’m going to be honest, I feel like Stan and Kyle are closer to each other than to have Stan say ‘lol u killed ppl so I can’t forgive you <3′. Maybe that’s me interpreting their friendship as indestructible or something, but we’ve seen before that Stan’s moral compass isn’t as straight as Kyle’s so Kyle explaining his reasonings for killing people would’ve probably given him the go ahead to trust him- but then again who would’ve influenced kyman or the ending so much as Stan himself :)

Btw I you like Stan as a character in the actual show you’re completely entitled to your opinion I’m sure you’re an awesome person not coming after you or anything you do you o7.

And that’s it! My whole word dump about this amazing fic that people told me to read and that I read in 10 hours :)

[kayfabekelpie]

First Lines

Rules: List the first lines of the last ten (10) stories you published. Look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. Then tag some friends.

I think @sybilius grabbed anyone who I’d tag so if you want at this then go for it. Also I’ve only published four stories so you get some WIPs in here...

1. From the mountaintop i took down the sun

There is, Punk thinks, something strange happening here.

2. You belong somewhere you can be free

Adam hasn’t done this as long as Kenny has. He didn’t lose someone as fundamental, didn’t harden himself as surely, didn’t slip so far so fast. There are still places inside of him that are soft.

3. The stars hurl all their fundamental

He was told, once - some friend with a cheap tarot deck playing at mind reader - that the Tower is bad news. That it’s change, it’s alteration, a fall from grace. An upheaval, a lightning strike - Lichtenberg figures branching through veins and burning from the inside out. It’s supposed to be scary. When she pulled it from the deck, she’d waggled her fingers with a grin and an exaggerated wooooooo and pronounced him cursed.

4. Take no scorn and wear the horn

Punk can't resist the Eye. He knows he can't, he knows it's inevitable, but the skin-crawling disgust he feels for himself whenever he indulges, gluts himself on someone else's thoughts, dreams, fears, doesn't make it easy. The first time he dips into an(other) avatar's psyche - Kingston, at least it's Kingston, who for all the hopped up snare drum-heartbeat aggression of the Slaughter is unbothered enough to cast a lazy wave and tell Punk to hang out or whatever while they both blink blood out of their eyes - he pulls himself out with a desperate gulping gasp and ice water rushing down his spine, and then immediately pukes on Kingston's shoes. Kingston's gracious-ish about it, at least, and Punk buys him new Timbs as a thank you.

5. Untitled Kenny/Hangman(/Kenny) t4t time travel nonsense

Adam hates getting texts from either of the Bucks because they usually mean either something terrible is happening or something terrible is going to happen imminently, probably as a direct result of them texting him. And there is no way in hell that come upstairs and bring your strap is in any way going to change that pattern.

6. Untitled Dom!Hook Taking Care Of Adult Human Men - CM Punk version

Punk hadn’t wanted help backstage after the match. Hadn’t wanted the fans to see him as weak, as feeble, but. God. He’s regretting it now. He barely makes it back through the tunnel before he collapses against a wall, fighting back nausea. His head is spinning, he probably has a concussion. Fantastic. Great.

7. Untitled Dom!Hook Taking Care of Adult Human Men - Hangman version

Adam feels like shit. He’s not hurt, not really. Sore, yeah, of course, he just got dumped through a chair by Lance Fucking Archer, and his emotions are bruised (there are too cows in Virginia, Lambert), but he’s fine. He’s had worse, on both ends.

8. Untitled ‘I had a hair up my ass about the nature of sacrifice and chose wrestlers to talk about it also something something folk traditions’ ft. Hangman and the Bucks

Adam has known, since the distant days of this childhood, that there are rules in the woods.

9. This one’s working title is “welp guess im writing a BDSM au”

CM Punk is the finest whore in all of Chicago.

10. One hand on the sky (historically inaccurate western AU)

Adam has never liked being the Hangman.

As for analysis, uh. I really like either ‘get the entire exposition out of the way’ style first lines or single-line intros that tell you nothing; I think Adam Page looks his best when he’s mildly bothered; and CM Punk is the finest whore in all of Chicago.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

If Ben was in S2 instead of Kenny, things would go down in Carvers camp a whole lot different. Depending on how much Ben’s grown since S1, would he take the blame for the walkie talkies? Or would someone else take the fall? I can’t begin to imagine Clem losing an eye over the radios.

Speaking of Carver, he’d definitely still be alive and hunting down the group after Howe’s falls to take AJ back, since Kenny won’t be there to bash his face in and Ben definitely wouldn’t be one to do that. No Russian group, just Carver and the rest of his gang trying to steal AJ and get revenge. This AU opens up a lot of possibilities

It really does change a lot, huh?

Because yeah, they're all locked up at Howe's and still trying to figure out how to escape, but that's the thing-- Ben isn't as aggressive as Kenny. We talked about how the radio situation would play out with Ben there over on discord, and came to the conclusion that Clementine wouldn't even be the one to end up with the walkie, Mike would.

Kenny was the one who pushed and forced Clementine to take the walkie, so she didn't have a choice but to hold on to it until Carver called for it. Mike was over here wanting to do it and didn't understand why Kenny wanted Clem to, so if Ben isn't forcing Clem to do it, they're letting Mike.

Of course, that means it's up to Mike whether he's honest about the walkie or not, and how Carver reacts depends on how he feels about Mike. He didn't like Kenny and all the shit he pulled, so getting called a fucker by him is probably what really set Carver off.

So yeah, I don't think Clem or Ben or anyone is losing an eye in this situation, and I don't think Ben would be here bashing Carver's face in... Hell, Carver might just get shot by Rebecca or something [Kenny was the one who shot him at all, remember?] and then they leave him.... but he's not dead and he can continue to be our antagonist.

He could be tracking them down the entire time, which forces them to constantly be on the move, even though Rebecca is in labor/just had a baby.

So yeah... Ben being there instead completely changes everything.

[war-sword]

the ilvermorny exchange (2)

Part 2 | index | masterlist

summary: you’re an Ilvermorny student, and you’ve applied to the International Magic Student Exchange Program to attend your sixth year at Hogwarts instead. You and your friends are excited to go to school overseas, but a certain blonde prefect has decided to personally make your exchange year suck. You decide to give him a taste of his own medicine. (draco x reader, enemies to lovers, female reader) words: 2,724 warnings: cursing a/n: @cherrie511 said bet so here’s another part for this hehehe. ALSO i forgot to mention this in the first part, but this is an AU where Harry defeated Voldemort as a baby and so like he’s still famous and stuff but there’s not threat of the dark lord anymore, so Draco never has to do any of the sad shit in his 6th/7th years. it’s important for parts of the story later on but mostly give Draco a better life 2kever. p.s. sorry if it seems like i’m making us (you guys, the readers)/ the other Ilvermorny students super American with slang and stuff, but i based all the dialogue on how me and my friends speak. OKAY THATS IT LETS GO. taglist: @tragically-cordelia @mhftrs @2pumpkin-pasty @gingerlouisgirl @seriouslynotfunny @clockworkherondale  

◈◈◈

For the next month, things only got worse. Quite the opposite of what Hermione had hoped would happen, Malfoy took to annoying you at every turn. While the trio tried to tell you to just let it go and he wouldn’t lash out so much, you were not one to sit by and let shit happen. If he tried to trip you, you’d do it back. Insults about how unbearable each other’s accents were would be thrown across corridors. You would sit in Divination class, throwing pieces of parchment at each other’s heads when Professor Trelawney wasn’t looking. If you and Harry were together, it was twice as bad. Malfoy loathed the both of you with a passion, and several times Alex and Ron were pulling the two of you back before it got any worse. All the Ilvermorny students hated him just as much and often you would stand up for each other in the face of his and his gang’s opposition.

Back at Ilvermorny, you were nearly a model student when you wanted to be. You got good grades and liked to please teachers you found worthy of your respect and time. Since coming to Hogwarts you’d wanted to keep up your good student reputation, but Malfoy was getting you dangerously close to being in trouble with the administration. It was almost a game to see how far you could get.

“Watch your step.” Malfoy stuck his leg out, nearly causing you to fall down the spiraling staircase that led from the Astronomy tower.

You managed to catch yourself on the rail just in time. “Aye bruh, chill,” you said, righting yourself.

“Aye bruh, chill,” he mocked, imitating your voice and your American accent. “I hope there’s a charm out there somewhere that can make you learn some proper Queen’s English, listening to you talk gives me a headache.”

“You sure it’s not just your giant ego taking up all that space in your skull?” You called, following him down the stairs.

“No, because it only seems to come on when I have to look at your face.”

You ran down the stairs, and as you passed him you pulled the hood of his cloak over his head. His hand snapped out and grabbed the handle of your knapsack, keeping you from running forward, and he yanked back so you fell against him. “Ugh,” you groaned, twisting around so he let go. “Get your hands off me, Malfoy.”

He pushed his hood off his head and leaned forwards. You leaned back to avoid his face, almost falling down the steps again. He laughed. “You’re never going to win at whatever this is.”

“Try me.”

“Oh, believe me, I am.” His storm grey eyes that haunted at you at night glimmered with anticipation as he side stepped around you, swishing his cloak dramatically. You rolled your eyes.

Later that afternoon when you and the rest of the Ilvermorny gang were hanging out in the courtyard, you decided to exact your revenge and gain the upper hand.

“Hey, everyone. Watch this.” You got up, tossing your cloak onto your backpack.

“Don’t go provoking him, y/n” Sarah sighed.

“No, guys, I promise this is going to be funny.” All your classmates watched as you strode across the courtyard. “Hey, Malfoy!”

He turned, the permanent glare on his face present. “What do you want?”

“Come here, I want to show you something.”

You walked towards each other, meeting in the middle. He crossed his arms. “Well?”

Below your waist, you stuck out your left hand, your pointer finger and thumb making a circle. When Malfoy looked down at your hand gesture, you brought your right hand up, and slapped the back of his neck as hard as you possibly could. The corner full of Ilvermorny students erupted into hollers.

“HOLY SHIT, SHE NECKED YOU BUT GOOD, DRACO!” Kenny screamed. The boys were absolutely losing their shit, doubled over in laughter. Alex was wiping tears from her eyes. The other Hogwarts students who didn’t even quite understand what had just taken place were laughing along with them.

Malfoy’s hand flew to his neck which was already turning an angry red. He looked up at you while you laughed at him, pure rage in his eyes. But instead of throwing an insult, he reached out to grab you. You jumped out of the way, surprised. “You’re gonna pay for that,” he growled.

You turned and ran, laughter still bubbling from your mouth. “Not if you can’t catch me!”

You sprinted to one end of the courtyard, grabbing a column and sliding around the corner and onto the walkway. The Ilvermorny students cheered you on as you sprinted out of the courtyard with Draco hot on your heels. You ran out of the castle and onto the grounds. You turned a corner and climbed up a tree, hoping you were fast enough so that you would lose him.

Not a second later had you been covered by the branches, Malfoy burst out of the corridor and looked around for you. You tried to control your heavy breathing, being still as possible. Blood rushed though your ears.

“Where the hell did she go,” he muttered, looking around the patch of grass.

Malfoy passed your tree, and you waited a few seconds before changing your position to sit on a branch to wait it out. You were not a runner. A few moments passed, and you let yourself catch your breath. Underneath you, someone cleared their throat and your heart skipped a beat.

You looked down slowly, only to see Draco grinning up at you. “Shit,” you whispered.

Malfoy shed his own cloak and began to climb the tree up after you. Your instinct told you to jump down or climb higher, but you were too tired to run from him again. A jump would be too far without getting injured. So you stayed put, deciding that in the tree he couldn’t do you much harm. He settled on the branch across from you and wiped his palms on his uniform pants. Silence.

“Well? Where’s the dramatic and biting quip?” You asked.

He braced his foot on your branch, stretching his leg across the small gap between the two of you. “Don’t have one yet.”

“I must say, I’m disappointed,” you said with mock disdain, sticking your nose in the air.

He chuckled. “What does this mean?” He asked.

You turned your nose down to look back at him, to his hand. He had his fingers in an O shape, and he reached across the gap between your branches and awkwardly slapped the back of your neck, almost throwing you off balance.

“God fucking damn it,” you muttered. “That was a quick turn around, even for you.” But you couldn’t fight the small smile on your face.

“Got you,” he said, a satisfied look on his face. “Couldn’t pass it up. But seriously, what is it?”

“Necking? Never heard of it?”

“Sounds dumb.”

“Well, that’s what it is. Usually, you do it across the room. Trick the other person into looking at your hand, and they have to slap themselves on the neck, or you get to do it to them later. Or if someone does something dumb, you tell them to neck themselves as punishment.”

He considered your words. It was weird, having a conversation like this with him. “Interesting. So, you neck yourself for being dumb enough to let me follow you up here.”

“I was tired, okay? I didn’t feel like moving. How about you neck yourself for being dumb enough to sit on a tree branch that’s dead.”

Malfoy looked down, slightly alarmed, and you laughed. “Gotcha. Neck yourself.”

“Fuck off.”

“You fuck off.”

“Fine.” Malfoy climbed back down the tree and slung his cloak back over his shoulder, not looking back as he walked off.

Since the day of the necking incident, your fighting had escalated from just tossing words at each other to more physical fighting. It started with you grabbing each other’s robes as you passed, so hard that often you’d fall down or into someone else. You’d get in his face when you insulted him, so close you could smell his shampoo, and poke your fingers into his chest. He’d grab your hand so hard your knuckles would crack.

But you would admit you’d made a mistake by escalating it to hair. As you and Sarah were leaving the library one day, you saw Malfoy hunched over a table studying, his back to you. As you walked past, you shoved your fingers into his hair and pulled his face into his book. It was funny at the time, but you hadn’t considered that you had the longer hair out of the two of you, something he often used to his advantage. Like today.

You were on your way to Potions with Hermione and Alex, when you felt a hand brush against your back. Draco grabbed one of your two french braids, pulling so hard you arched back to avoid the pain. “Ugh, bitch!” You cried, rubbing your scalp. Malfoy spun around in front of you.

“Funny, I only see one in this hallway and it’s not me,” he sneered, walking backwards to keep pace with you.

“Get out of my fucking way.” You pushed him square in the chest with both hands, but he didn’t fall. Instead, he caught both your wrists and yanked you forward.

You stumbled into him, and became instantly terrified of how your chests were pressed together. You fought against his grip and got back on your feet. Hermione was not one to stand by, and she reached out to pull your arms apart. “Leave her alone,” she growled.

Malfoy merely glared at her in disgust, smirked at you, and turned to walk down the hall ahead of you.

“Y’all’s sexual tension is crazy.” Alex said flatly as soon as Malfoy was out of earshot.

“W-what?” You sputtered, heat crawling up your neck. “Absolutely not!”

“You can’t keep your hands off each other!” She exclaimed.

“I certainly don’t think y/n would have a crush on the boy who bothers her to no end!” Hermione cried.

“I said sexual tension, not a crush, Hermione,” Alex said.

“The only reason I ever touch Draco Malfoy is to curb my burning desire to deck him right in his nose, thank you very much,” you said haughtily.

“Whatever you sayyy…” Alex sings, as she leaves you and Hermione at the door of the potions classroom, skipping the rest of the way down the hall and around the corner.

You and Hermione take your seats at your table, getting out your textbooks and ink. The room falls silent as Snape enters, the door slamming behind him. You take to your usual posture of slumped in your chair with your arms crossed.

As Snape begins to explain the lesson, you kick your leg under the table to get Ron’s attention. “You reckon I can make the throw into Malfoy’s caldron?” You whispered.

“Oh, for sure,” Ron nodded feverently. “I’ll spot you. Make sure it’s something that’ll explode.”

The two of you laughed quietly, but were cut off by Snape’s glare. “Y/L/N, Weasley? Something funny?’

“No, sir,” you both said quickly.

Snape did not look impressed. “Five points from Gryffindor.” Ron groaned and slumped in his seat. “Y/L/N, get up.”

The word ‘why?’ was on the tip of your tongue, but you held yourself back. You sighed and stood, putting on your knapsack and grabbing your textbook, awaiting instructions. Snape put up an arm. “Go sit next to Mr. Malfoy.”

Your eyes bulged from your head, and across the room, so did Draco’s. Hermione, Ron, Harry and Neville all looked at you with pity. You just kicked your chair back under the desk, stalked across the room, and set your stuff down before dropping in the chair next to Malfoy.

“As I was saying, you’re all going to be making the Draught of Peace today. And thanks to Mr. Weasley and Ms. Y/L/N, you’ll also be answering the questions in the textbook on page two-hundred and seventy-two, to be turned in by the end of class with your potion.”

Everyone groaned loudly.  “Fuck”, you muttered, leaning your head back. Ron wore a matching grimace. You locked eyes across the room and mouthed ‘sorry’. He just shrugged back.

Snape told everyone to get started, and Draco wasted no time. “Nice going, Y/L/N,” he said, kicking the leg of your chair.

“If you want, you can make the potion and I can do both our questions,” you offered.

Draco seemed to consider this. “Fine, but don’t expect to do this all the time.” He stood, going to the store room to gather ingredients. You cracked open the textbook and took a look at the questions. There were a hundred. Great.

Draco started the potion as you got out two pieces of parchment for the questions. “Can I see a piece of your homework?” You asked.

“Why?”

“So I can copy your handwriting, duh.”

Draco rolled his eyes and passed you his quill. “Just use the mirror charm.”

“The what?”

He sighed loudly and turned away from the cauldron. “The mirror charm? Charm my quill to yours so they write at the same time, and mine will write the words in my handwriting. I thought you’d at least learn something useful in your school full of cheaters.”

The blank look on your face said enough. Draco huffed. “Fine, you do the potion, I’ll do the questions. Don’t screw it up.”

“I’ve already passed Advanced Potions, thank you very much.” You stood up and held your quill out. Draco snatched it from your hand and you roughly brushed past each other to trade places.

You were mostly silent for the rest of the class. Draco answered the questions, the two quills moving in unison across the parchment. Once or twice, he slid the textbook over near you and silently pointed to a question to get your opinion on the answer. You made the potion, watching the clock to time the adding of the ingredients and stirring. When you finished, you carefully filled two vials with the Draught and stoppered them. Draco had just finished the questions, and handed you your quill. You wrote your name at the top of your copy, and handed him a vial. As the two of you walked up to Snape’s desk at the front and offered your work to him, you realized you had finished first, because of your… teamwork?

Snape skeptically snatched your parchments and vials from your hands, and looked over the answers. When he seemed satisfied, he opened your vials and sniffed them. “Decent work. You are free to go. Please bring your cauldron up, I would like to retain the rest of your potion.”

You and Draco nodded and turned away to go clean up your area. As you walked back, Hermione was gaping at you. You gave her a confused look and a shrug. You gathered your things up from the desk and placed your cauldron on Snape’s desk, and left the classroom a few paces behind Draco. You didn’t catch up to him, and he didn’t bother turning around.

For the rest of November and December, Snape kept you and Malfoy seated together. You managed to get through most classes requiring individual work with little arguing. Sometimes Draco would set a container of an ingredient on the table after using it and it would be empty, and you would just huff and go get a fresh bottle, flicking him on the back of his head as you went.

When it came to partnered assignments, Draco was actually not a horrible person to work with. Like Hermione, he was skilled at potions, and with your knowledge from having already took the class you were often the first ones done. You’d still criticize each other on your chopping technique, or disagree about measurements, most of which the discussions would end with just a stomped foot. But you did learn things from watching him-- how to more efficiently use the mortar and pestle, the proper shade of green for skele-gro. You caught him cutting scarab beetles the way you always did, which made you think he learned for you, too.

And, despite what Draco had said your first day sitting together, you did often split bookwork and potion making. He was always the one to suggest it.

[patronusofthepugs]

Team Coon And Friends

Part Three of South Park Super Hero AU. Or the Quirk AU? Or maybe SP Sky High? God damn, help me name this thing please. Whatever, the kids have powers and they be angsty about it.

Stan Marsh: His power is shape shifting, specifically into animals. In his early years, he usually shape shifts  into animals that would help him avoid situations. Mom wants him to take out the trash? 

 “Checkmate Sharon, I’m a butterfly now. What do you want me to do? To lift those bags with my tiny insect arms? Are you trying to kill me, Mother?” 

“Oh, you want me to present my biology report? Yeah, how about I just turn into a mole and you guys can observe me. Is that science enough for you?”  

He’s  mostly apathetic about his powers and the whole debate about being good or evil. Stan is neither, he’s just super average. Thanks to his dad. 

  Randy has the power to manipulate plants. If he wanted, he could squeeze the life out of a man with vines or quickly make a flower trampoline for jumping survivors out of a burning building. But instead, he just grows a lot of weed. Like A LOT of weed. Any superhero or villain ambitions  was lost to the art of the bong. His mom is marginally better, she has the power to control wind. But just small breezes, enough to be pleasant, comfortable even.  Both of his parents had applied themselves to living in obscurity and Stan figures he’ll follow in their footsteps. 

 After all, he’s a little selfish and honestly he can live with that. Sometimes, in this shitty world, you need to look out for yourself. But then he starts to date Wendy, and her light begins to cast some unforgiving shadows on him. Because she doesn’t hesitate to do the right thing. While Stan? Well, he’s always hesitating, he doesn’t feel strongly about anything. He doesn’t see the point in throwing himself in danger. For what? Some pat on the back, and a couple of cheers? But then he also doesn’t see the point in being evil.

 Unsurprisingly, Wendy breaks up with him in middle school and it isn’t pretty. Some choice words gets thrown out mostly about Stan’s selfishness and wish-washy nature.  Stan tries to summon the anger and self righteous but all he feels is numb. And empty. He enters Hero school with a desire to change. To find something worth fighting for. No matter what, whether it be good or evil.

Kyle Broflovski: He controls lightning. His powers are specifically lightning manipulation that he controls with his hands. It sounds cooler than it actually is. Right, now he can only cause little sparks that barely feels like a zap. And his hair is always fluffy. No matter what. He usually accidentally shocks himself or deliberately tries to zap Cartman. Kyle is lawful good. While he isn’t as serious as Kenny, he’s pretty sure that his path is down the hero route. 

  He wouldn’t mind going the business route either, after all his Dad is a lawyer that  advocates for heroes and helps them navigate the lawsuits around property damage. And his Mom? Well, she’s super cool too! She used to be a big shot villain in the day but has since reformed herself. She runs a support group for all the former villains and henchmen in South Park. It’s mostly an informal book club/gossip session but still she’s doing real good work.

 Kyle is pretty confident as he enters the Hero school. He figures he has his head straight, there’s no second guessing or doubt from him, unlike some of his other peers. Yup, the only thing Kyle has to worry about is the way his face flushes and his heart beats faster every time Stan takes off his shirt to use his powers. But even that, he isn’t too worried about. After all everyone probably realizes their best fried is super hot. It’ll pass. 

But after finding out about his Dad’s double life, Kyle realizes that he has way bigger problems to worry about. He has the chance to be the big hero, to be part of the greats and take down evil but in doing so it will destroy his family. For once, Kyle is torn between his heart and his head. He stands on the precipice between good and evil.

Eric Cartman: His power is his skin is literally rubber. Anything and everything will bounce off of him. He’s also super strong and sturdy. Often times, he’s the muscle of the group, a fact that he won’t ever shut up about. Cartman lives his life barreling forward, heedless of the chaos that he leaves behind him. He doesn’t feel pain so of course he’s going to crash through doors and walls. His Mom eventually installs titanium doors and walls in their house because while she loves her Pookums, she can’t afford the constant repairs. Even though he  hates to admit it, Cartman has something in common with Kyle. He’s sure of his path that he’s going to take.

 He’s a villain all of the way, Baby. Hell yeah, sign him up! Fuck that hippie good doer shit. He knows where the real power lies so of course he’s going to take it. He’s insufferable and smug all through out school, constantly jeering at their teachers and at the hero kids like Wendy. What a bunch of losers. 

But then their team is assigned to their first mission and everything goes tits up. They fuck up. Badly. Kyle is too distracted, Stan panics and is unable to settle onto an animal to change in to and Cartman? Well, he did what he does best. He got super pissed off and charged in.

 He sets off a minefield. He’s fine because he’s Cartman but once the smoke clears, he sees Kyle’s and Stan’s limp bodies. And for the first time, in his life he feels honest to god fear shoot through. It’s ice cold with a bite, it paralyzes him as he could only watch as his best friends in the world bleed out in front of him. 

They shoot a lot of shit with each other and he’s pretty sure they hate each other on most days. But they always come back together, like magnets they’re never apart. He realizes that he actually love these guys, they’re his god damn family and they’re about to fucking die in front of him. 

Kenny and his team end up rescuing them that day. Butters is too shocked at the sight of Eric’s tear stained face to say something dopey. And Wendy is shaken at the sight of Stan’s burnt body.  Kenny is also silent but he also gives Cartman a tight hug, one that makes his heart throb painfully. Fuck. Not this asshole too. 

That night Cartman lays in his race car bed and thinks how close he came to losing something that he didn’t know was precious to him. He also thinks he’s in some deep shit because if he is to continue his villainy path, well that means means being on the battlefield against his friends. And it would break him. But if he was to turn his back on the dark, he’s going to be in even deeper shit. 

  Cartman is an ambitious bastard. He already has evil connections across the city, connections that would slit his throat without hesitation if he thought about betraying them. And he owes a number of them confidential Intel about the school and its defenses. If he doesn’t deliver, Cthulhu is gonna hang him by his balls and fry him in gravy. But if the super villains storm the school, his friends will die. No question about it.  Either way, he’s fucked. God fucking damn it. 

Part One Here       Part Two Here

[theguardianangel-fanfiction]

Once Bitten, Twice Dead

Summary: It’s been two years since the beginning, and only five days since Clementine met them. But somehow, things got so much worse, and Carver was just the beginning. [Season 2 AU/canon divergent. New situations, characters, etc.] 

Chapter 27: Man’s Failure As a Thinking Animal Author’s Note: I’m either manic, hyperfocused, or I’ve had too much coffee today. [Main Blog] [AO3] [FanFiction.Net]

Grinning, Rebecca cradled her bump with one hand as she took Alvin’s in her other hand, pulling it towards her. “She’s kicking.”

Alvin’s eyes lit up as he pressed his hand to Rebecca’s bump. He let out a low chortle as he did so, and then said, “It’s the smell, ain’t it? You hungry?”

“Always.” Rebecca stood as she spoke, walking past Clementine and over to the railing. She leaned over, peering in the direction of the kitchenette. Walter, his portable burner, and his pot of mystery food were gone out of sight. “Did you hear Walter say when we’re gonna eat?”

Clementine shifted away, turning so that she was facing the direction of the stairs. The sick feeling in her stomach remained, and was now joined with a pounding sensation in her head.  As much as she didn’t want to continue to smell the peaches and beans, the excuse of going to ask Walter about when they were going to eat was a valid one.

“Nah, I didn’t.” replied Alvin, tucking his hands into his jacket pocket.

Without having to say anything, Clementine found herself managing to get down the stairs undetected. The smell of dinner wafted throughout the entire lodge as Clementine leaned against the side of the banister, scanning the sitting room and kitchenette for the others as she did so.

At the sound of a door shutting, Clementine glanced up to meet Carlos, who stood a few feet away.

“Hi,” she murmured, roping her arm around the banister. “Are Luke and Nick still outside?”

Carlos sighed, looking over his shoulder as he began to crack the side door open. “They’re still helping that man, Matthew. There’s a lot of wood outside that needs to be brought in. And… if the clouds are anything to go by, then the storm is coming sooner than we all thought.”

“So… are we staying the night?” Clementine recalled Sarita saying something earlier about giving the group a place to sleep, though she hadn’t seen the actual place in the flesh. Though, truthfully, she would rather have the possibilities of sleeping on the floor in a warm building than sleeping in the dirt in the rain.

“That’s how it’s looking.” Carlos carefully shut the backdoor, and then turned his attention back to Clementine. “Has anyone else said anything?”

“I talked to Rebecca.” Shrugging, Clementine gazed over to the wooden duck on the table. “And I talked to Sarita for a minute. She told me the difference between a Catholic and a Christian.”

In response, Clementine received a slow, short nod.

“Was there a… reason for that to come up?” asked Carlos, who briefly peered over his shoulder to see the wooden duck that Clementine watched.

“Not really. We were talking about tree toppers.” Clementine looked from the duck to the area behind the Christmas tree, half-heartedly wondering where Sarah had gone off to. “Sarah said you guys used to have an angel on your tree, so I asked her why, and…”

She trailed off when she noticed that Carlos looked away.

“Are you okay?” asked Clementine, noticing the sudden change in his facial expression. He had gone from a fairly blank stare to one of a very sudden frustration or confusion.

He hesitated for a moment, rubbing the side of his face as his eyes shifted from Clementine to the door. Carlos shook his head.

“I’m fine, Clem.” He crossed his arms. “I’m sorry – I’m trying to remember what I forgot.”

Clementine didn’t speak after that, and merely nodded as they both stood in silence for about five seconds before Carlos spoke again.

“I haven’t looked at your bite.” He clenched his jaw. “Although I am not sure if that’s the only thing that I’ve forgotten today. But it’s on the list.”

As she looked down at her arm, Clementine felt the phantom pains that she had previously forgotten about (it was the only way to get it to stop hurting, after all) and thought of Carlos’ previous words on the night that he stitched the wound, the ones about checking to make sure that it wasn’t infected. Of course, it hadn’t been the night before. But then again, she hadn’t found herself fighting walkers and holding on to a bridge for dear life yesterday, either.

She pulled up her sleeve and bit her lip at the annoying stinging that raced up her arm the moment that the fabric raked across her skin and the bandage, and began to carefully unwrap it. There was very little blood spilled against the bandages within the last few days, and Clementine could only hope that this would continue the trend.

Clementine repressed the urge to roll her eyes as he attempted to both be gentle and manhandle her arm at the same time. But then again, it was better than losing the arm.

Carlos took her arm, scanning each individual stitch, and then turned it so that he could look at her wrist and forearm.

“The bite is fine,” he said, and tapped his finger against one of the scabbing scratches on Clementine’s forearm, “The scratches aren’t infected either. But –”

The door that Carlos came from opened, and Kenny’s voice suddenly filled the cabin. “Hey, Clem – holy shit!”

Kenny stopped behind Carlos, who tensed. His eyes widening, Kenny gritted his teeth and looked from Clementine’s wound to her face, and then back to her wound. He took in a sharp breath. As her cheeks heated up, Clementine looked down at the carpeting on the stairs.

Carlos let go of Clementine’s arm, turning back to Kenny with a glare, which Kenny ignored. His gaze was instead completely fixated on the stitched wound. Despite its lack of infection, the skin around it was irritated and some of the cracks between the meticulously stitched sutures were filled with cracked, dried blood; Clementine couldn’t help but feel at least semi-self-conscious about it. It was an ugly sight.

But, as she told herself before, it was better than losing it.

Scars? They’re way cooler than stumps.

Luke’s words would ring true if the damn thing ever healed.

“How the hell’d you get that?”

Kenny was now attempting to look her in the face. Carlos didn’t move from his current spot, his glare still aimed at Kenny; he said nothing, however, and folded his arms.

Sighing, Clementine debated on whether or not to tell the truth. She didn’t want to talk about Sam. She didn’t want to talk about the wound. She didn’t want to talk about any of it. But Kenny would, and he would especially want to know the details.

It may have been a while, but the distant memories of Kenny’s escapades and fights in Georgia were beginning to come flooding back.

“It’s a long story.” Clementine shrugged, holding her arm back up for Carlos, who took it with a few seconds’ hesitation. His glare fell into a simple grimace as he moved to a position that kept him from being shoulder-to shoulder with Kenny. Clementine spoke again, “But it involves me… a hungry dog… and…”

Kenny’s gaze softened as he shook his head. “I’m so sorry, darlin’… Jesus… a dog?”

Clementine nodded.

“Shit, where the hell were y’all when this happened?”

It wasn’t a question that Clementine didn’t expect. But as she watched Carlos stop what he was doing, she knew that Kenny had asked the wrong person the wrong question.

“We hadn’t met her yet.” Carlos’ tone was incredulous, though he didn’t look up from Clementine’s wound. “She’s been with us for a week.”

Carlos let go of Clementine’s arm and took the bandages from her other hand. “Let me re-wrap it.”

“A fuckin’ week?”

“That is what I just said, yes.”

“Huh.” Kenny crossed his arms. “And what happened to your…?”

Clementine touched the side of her face with her right hand. The only thing, other than damage to her emotional state, that she had to prove that her escapade and near-death experience on the bridge had even happened was a tightened butterfly bandage on her cheek and a purpling bruise.

She responded with a small smile as she restrained herself from chuckling darkly. “I smacked it. On the bridge.”

“And who’s fault was that?” asked Carlos, tightening the bandage around Clementine’s arm. He was right, in a way; he had said that he didn’t think that it was a great idea for her to go, but that was beside the point.

Clementine immediately deflected. “The walker’s.” she replied, and then ran her fingers over the bandage. “Thanks.”

“That is what I’m good for.”

As he finished his sentence, Carlos moved past Clementine and took a hold of the banister. But before he could escape anymore questions, Kenny asked, “You the medic?”

“Yes.” Carlos left it at this, not turning to face Kenny.

“Doctor?”

“For fourteen years.”

“You oughta be useful these days.”

There was a sudden shattering from the dining room, and Walter called for everyone to stay out of the dining room while he cleaned up a dropped ceramic bowl. Kenny chuckled to himself as he leaned against the banister. Clementine stayed still, unsure of her current position on the stairs, and looked up to Carlos, who took another step in his attempt to get away from human contact.

“Anyway,” said Kenny, “I guess a medic’s what y’all need. ‘specially with your friend upstairs.”

Clementine surmised from that sentence that he was referring to Rebecca, and her stomach pain immediately came back at the thoughts of Rebecca’s pregnancy. There was literally nothing else that he could be referring to, unless Alvin had some medical problem that he hadn’t mentioned.

“How far along’s she?”

Carlos turned, so that his back wasn’t to Kenny. “That’s… none of your business.”

Clementine watched the expression that crossed Kenny’s face, and felt a shiver go up her spine as she suddenly thought of something else. His eyebrows furrowed, his teeth just slightly bared, as he gripped the banister with a force strong enough to turn his white knuckles whiter.

She found herself stepping to the side as a hammer seemed to hit the inside of her chest. The thoughts that she had while trekking up the side of the mountain with Matthew and the others came back; what if Kenny had changed? What if he hadn’t?

His arguments with Lilly used to shake the walls. His arguments with Lee broke Clementine’s heart. No matter how much Lee used to tell her to cover her ears, Clementine knew that it wouldn’t work. She would still hear Kenny yelling.

“Kenny, can you help me with the tables?”

The voice belonged to Sarita, and Clementine let out a quiet sigh of relief as Kenny turned. His glare turned to a grin, his eyes lighting up again when he saw Sarita, just as he had earlier. Within just a few seconds, he excused himself from the stairs.

Clementine turned to see that she and Carlos held the exact same expression.

“I’m not sure about Kenny.” He said this in a voice low enough to hide from Kenny, but loud enough for Clementine to hear. “Keep your eyes open.”

Before Clementine could respond, Walter’s voice rang out.

“Well, everyone, dinner is served! Come on, let’s eat!”

The sound of tables being pushed against the tiled ground was obvious, as was the clinking of shattered ceramic against its own shards as Walter came from the dining room to dump the ceramic into a trashcan. He looked up with a smile.

“Can you grab Matthew and the others, Clementine?” he asked, dumping the shards into the trashcan. “I think they’re just outside of the door. But knowing Matthew, Luke and Nick are having their ears talked off right now.”

Clementine nodded, stepping down from the lowest step and turning her gaze to the backdoor. Carlos walked past her, and Clementine hesitated as she peered over her shoulder to see Kenny pushing one of the tables – a large, wooden picnic table, clearly of high quality – against another.

She turned back to the door and pushed it open just enough to see into the back area. The cold air stung her nose as she peeked out just enough to see Matthew, Luke, and Nick, who were each leaning against the rocks of the walls. Matthew’s voice hit her ears, and she knew immediately what Walter was referring to.

But, she thought, thinking of her previous words with Rebecca, this would be Luke’s punishment if he really had told her business to the others, no matter what Rebecca wanted to say.

“… Well, anyway, Walt wanted to put the bookshelf – y’know, that really big one I was talking about? – yeah, well, he wouldn’t let me put it in our room. He said it would take up too much space –”

Nick, who previously had his head bowed and was staring at the ground and his shoes, peered up. Luke also turned, grinning to Clementine, while Matthew cut himself off.

Nick’s voice low, he asked, “Somethin’ wrong, Clem?”

“Walter said dinner’s ready.” she informed them, leaning against the door. “… Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“No harm done.” replied Matthew. He looked to Luke and Nick, and the nodded towards the door. “Are you guys hungry?”

“Hell yeah!” Luke was the first to answer, while Nick simply shrugged in response, as all three of them headed towards the door.

Thankful to be back in the heat – no matter how temporary the frigid cold outside had been on her skin – Clementine turned her attention back to the dining room and away from the three men. The tables were lined up now, five bowls and sets of silverware placed on one side and six bowls and sets of silverware placed on the other.

The dining room past the tables was nice, she thought, once one managed to disregard the fact that all of the windows were covered with boards, just as the doors were. But other than that, it was nice. It was simple.

It was dimly lit, but at the same time, Clementine liked the change in light.

The others streamed in past her, including Matthew, Nick, and Luke. Each of them took seats close together, like children rushing to sit with their friends in a school cafeteria (was that what this set up reminded her of?). Clementine, on the other hand, lagged behind, scanning the open places.

The moment that Rebecca sat – possibly even before she was completely sitting down – she grabbed the spoon and began to eat; Alvin chortled and took a seat next to her.

Walter took his seat next to Matthew, while Nick and Luke sat across from each other; Clementine followed Nick to his side, attempting to avoid wrinkling her nose at the smell of the beans and peaches. Sure, she was hungry – starving, even – but at that moment, she understood Matthew’s… incredibly valid concerns about the quality.

Clementine grabbed the spoon in order to avoid seeming rude; Walter sat only a few spaces away. In true teacher fashion, he was surveying everyone, as if trying to make sure that no one else, other than Matthew, thought that his meal sucked.

Luke, Rebecca, and Alvin shoveled their meals in happily.

As she looked to Nick, Clementine watched as Nick lazily poked at his food with a fork, never completely skewering a bean or a peach segment. She looked to her own food and dipped the spoon in just enough to coat the metallic edge in the sauce from the beans, and then attempted to separate a bean that stuck to a peach segment.

“You okay, man?” Luke’s whisper drew Clementine’s attention away from dissecting her dinner.

Nick rubbed one of his reddened eyes, his breathing slow and somewhat labored as he did so.

“Yeah…” His gaze focused on his dinner as he spoke in another whisper, “I’m just… really fuckin’ tired right now.”

Clementine agreed with him; the aching and tightness in her body was already beginning to catch up with her, and the aroma from the food wasn’t helping with her already somewhat sick stomach. She skewered a bean with her fork, and then watched the two of them out of the corner of her eye.

To her surprise, Luke reached out and took Nick’s hand. He gave it a very brief, tight squeeze.

“We’re stayin’ the night.” he whispered, “Should be enough to get our strength up.”

Nick suddenly drew back his hand as Kenny stood up from his spot, just two seats down from Luke, and switched spots with Sarita.

“Hey there,” he spoke, smiling to Luke. He placed his bowl down in place of Sarita’s, and pushed hers towards her.

Luke opened his mouth to reply back, but hesitated. He exchanged a glance with Nick, completely avoiding Clementine, and simply replied, “… Hey.”

She watched intently. After his uncomfortable conversation with Carlos earlier, Clementine wasn’t sure how he would react to yet another reluctant conversation with someone else from her group. But then again, maybe Luke was just embarrassed. It would explain his flushed cheeks.

“Hope you like the food.” Kenny swirled his bowl around with a spoon, looking from Luke to Nick, who suddenly shoveled a peach segment into his mouth.

Clementine debated doing the same thing.

“Oh…” Luke pulled a face, seemingly aware that Kenny couldn’t see it. “It’s… it’s great. Thank you.”

Kenny chuckled as he watched Nick shovel another piece of food into his mouth, and said, “Peaches and beans. Great for nutrition.”

Clementine skewered a peach segment with the sharp edge of her spoon, raising it up to choke it down.

“Not too great on the way out, though, I tell you.”

Clementine lowered the peach segment and her spoon back into the bowl as Kenny guffawed at his horrible joke. She cut her eyes at him, and then decided that, maybe, this meal wasn’t for her at all. A bathroom joke was about the last thing that she wanted to hear right now, especially while staring down at a bowl of what looked way too much like feces.

Luke narrowed his eyes, chuckling along darkly, and then dropped his gaze back to his own bowl. He also put his spoon down. Nick, on the other hand, sighed and continued to slowly eat his meal. He was obviously pretending to have not heard the joke.

“… Sorry,” Kenny chuckled, planting his elbows on the table. He looked from Nick to Clementine, and then to Luke. “So… Nick and Luke, right?”

Luke nodded as he raised his fork to eat a few beans.

“You two sure do look like a match.”

Just as Clementine did before him, Luke placed his fork right back into his bowl as he turned. If a look could kill, then Kenny would have fallen off of his seat and died on the floor right there.

Nick bared his teeth, “What the hell d’you mean by that?”

Clementine froze, her heart hammering again. She looked down to the bowl in front of her and grabbed her spoon and the skewered peach segment; as quickly as she could, she shoved it into her mouth, trying to keep herself from gagging on the piece. She would have absolutely no part in this argument. Nope. Not at all.

As she tried to force the peach (and by extension, a bean that was stuck to it) down, her gaze turned to everyone else down the table. Kenny’s comments and Nick’s sudden aggression had attracted the attention of Matthew, Walter, and Sarita.

Sarita also froze, as if unsure of what to do next. Matthew was swirling his dinner absentmindedly as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Clementine briefly made eye contact with Walter, who was beginning to look as if he would rather have been anywhere else but there.

“Just that you’re good friends, is all.” Kenny replied, his voice wooden. He stopped for a moment, looking between the three of them. “That’s all.”

“Kenny…” Matthew spoke from his spot next to Sarita. “… Not every two men you meet are…”

“I wasn’t implyin’ that!”

“Implyin’ what?” asked Luke, letting his fork fall from his grip. There was something in his voice that sounded much more like he was challenging Kenny to answer the question, rather than genuinely asking it, and it was drawing the attention of the others. He and Nick exchanged glances for the few seconds before Matthew spoke.

“Something… personal.” Matthew cut his eyes at Kenny. “Something he doesn’t need to be asking about over dinner.”

Kenny closed his eyes and let out a low groan. “It don’t matter.”

Clementine gripped the bench as she breathed a sigh of relief. Kenny was finally giving up.

“Anyway,” interjected Luke, “What was your plan here? Hold out for the winter?”

“Actually, we were thinkin’ about movin’ on. Somewhere up north.” He looked to Clementine, “You ever heard of a place called Wellington?”

Clementine perked up at the name. Of course she had! Christa wouldn’t stop talking about it. Every conversation that they had had about travelling within the last six months involved some mention of it.

Luke cocked his head. “Wellington? The hell is that?”

“A place.”

“Yeah, what kind of place?”

“A good one, Einstein.” Kenny snarled, his volume beginning to rise again.

Clementine tried to speak, but Nick beat her to it. He allowed his spoon to clink against the side of his bowl as he leaned in, both elbows on the table.

“Where the hell’s it at?”

“Supposedly, Michigan.” Kenny nodded as he spoke. “But some people’re sayin’ somewhere ‘round the Amish parts o’ Ohio. Either one’s a good guess.”

Nick grimaced. “Michigan?”

Clementine braced herself as Kenny bared his teeth again, just as he had earlier. His eyes squinted, he raised his voice.

“You gotta a hearing problem, kid?” He mocked Nick’s tone, “Yeah, Michigan! Think about it – actually fuckin’ think about it! Clean water, lotsa land … and cold ass winters so the walkers get slow!”

“Sounds like bullshit, if no one even knows where the hell it is.”

There was a brief second where Clementine felt a chill go down her spine as she watched the previously hopeful, excited look melt from Kenny’s face, only to be replaced by one of irritation and of malice. Once again, he raised his voice.

“Listen, Vanilla Ice, I don’t know what the fuck your deal is, but you’re more than fuckin’ welcome to take off in the mornin’!” He slammed his fist against the table as he shouted.

Luke turned to Kenny, his tight grip remaining on his bowl rather than on Kenny’s throat. “You don’t gotta fuckin’ talk to him like –”

“No, Luke,” Nick snapped, leaning forward. “That’s just fuckin’ fine with me!”

“What’s the deal with these guys, Clem?”

“I-I don’t –”

But Kenny cut her off as he kept yelling, while Nick and Luke continued to yell back.

As Clementine looked up, mentally pleading with the rest of the group to stop them. But the rest of the group stared, but the noise felt as if it were only getting louder. And here Kenny was, intentionally trying to get Clementine back into the fight. It only made her feel more sick to her stomach than she already was.

“Hey, fuck you, buddy!” Nick shouted.

Luke held his hands up, resigned. “Just fuckin’ stop, Nick. We’re not stayin’.”

“She’s stayin’!”

Clementine felt her stomach drop at Kenny’s unexpected comment; her eyes widened as she looked up to Luke, who stared back at her with a similar expression.

“Wh – ‘scuse me?” sputtered Luke, inching himself away from Kenny.

Her breath was caught in her throat, and just like earlier, the feeling in her fingertips was beginning to leave her as their words continued. They were yelling – way too much, way too loud – and now, no one was going to get along. Clementine, frozen, stared ahead as she tried to rationalize with herself, but she couldn’t. No one was going to get along; they were all going to fight and it would be all her fault because she was the one who suggested coming here in the first place. She was the one who knew Kenny – who knew what he was capable of – and here she was, letting the entire situation spiral out of control.

In that moment, she wanted to die. She wanted to run.

Wouldn’t that be nice? She could just hop out the window, sprint away like a madman, and never come back. It would be like how everything was before she met Sam – walking through an unfamiliar place, miles away from where she last knew the area, but she would be alone and there would be no more confrontation.

Yet even in her head, Clementine knew this was quite possibly the stupidest possible thing she could do. Running away from her problems had never worked – and she tried. Hard. But never hard enough.

She hadn’t realized that she was crying until the tears hit her neck, and by then, Kenny’s voice hadn’t dampened. He hadn’t even noticed, too caught up arguing with Luke while Sarita and Matthew tried to rationalize with the both of them. But Nick had noticed.

“Clem?” he asked, his voice low. He reached out to put his hand on her shoulder, but she pushed it back with her own trembling hands, and shook her head.

“Don’t.” Clementine whispered. She looked down, taking in a deep breath as she choked.

The words from Walter came from behind her, and she hadn’t even realized that he had gotten up. But instead of being directed to her, the words were for the others, his voice loud and clear.

“Gentleman,” he snapped, holding his hands up, just as Luke had earlier, “Please, there’s no need for this.”

Clementine didn’t move as a hush fell over the entire dining room at Walter’s words. The glares between Kenny, Luke, and Nick were more than enough to silence her – they had surely beaten Walter to it.

“Now look,” Walter admonished, “We’ve all had a long day. Please, eat.”

There was another pause in-between his words then and when Kenny spoke again. Clementine stared down at her bowl, not touching her face for fear of drawing attention to the tearstains on her cheeks. She felt Kenny’s eyes burning into her.

Respite – it was what she wanted from the constant arguing; of Kenny and his group, and of her own.

“Clem,” he spoke, his voice gentler now. He nearly sounded regretful. “I ain’t tryin’ to make you upset, but –”

Clementine’s response was automatic, absolutely no thought put into what she did next. Her previous thoughts of running away came back; she turned around without speaking, stood, and found herself walking away, past Nick and past Walter.

“Clementine!” It was Kenny again, everyone else quiet.

Quickly, she left the dining room, ignoring the deafening silence emanating, and found herself running for the front door. In her fit, between the blurriness of the angry tears that started up again, she pushed her entire body against the heavy door in order to open it wide enough for the frigid air to smack her right in the face.

“Clementine?”

Though she didn’t look back, Clementine recognized Walter’s voice, and slowed in her tracks as she held the door open. Just as she had while listening to Rebecca, she bit the inside of her mouth to avoid saying something that she regretted.

As she took in a shuddering breath, she shifted to the side and shook her head. She felt Walter brush past her and heard the soft sound of the door slowly shutting.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes just as wide.

“I’m fine,” snapped Clementine, taking a seat on the top step. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, the sick feeling rising into her throat. Her voice faltered, “I’m… I’m fine. Just… don’t worry about me.”

But Walter was a teacher through and through, and as she suspected before, he was still stuck in teacher-mode. He looked down at her for only a few seconds before he joined her, sighing for himself as he did so.

“I’m sorry about that,” Walter spoke, looking over to Clementine, “They shouldn’t have brought you into their argument.” His unspoken synonym for they – Kenny – was more than obvious as he looked over his shoulder through a crack in the doors.

Clementine kept her gaze fixated on the peak of a tree in the distance and gritted her teeth. “It’s fine.” she parroted to him, once again, “I should’ve just… stopped him.”

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and avoided looking Walter in the face. Something inside of her said that he cared, but Clementine couldn’t help but feel that his input would make things worse. It was practically a national pastime for adults in a post-apocalyptic world.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Walter sighed, his voice faltering for a few seconds before he spoke again, “I had a feeling that they were making you uncomfortable. And… I’m sorry that they did. They shouldn’t have put you in the middle of that.”

For a moment, Clementine wanted to reply back with a snarky comment about how no one should have done anything to her – and how she should be used to it by now. But she didn’t, and instead glared at the ground. The embarrassment of what she had just done was almost worse than the anxiety and the confusion that she felt before.

“Remember how I said I used to be a teacher? I remember what it was like to be caught in the middle of two cliques.”

Clementine shook her head. “They’re not eleven. They’re not –”

Me. She wanted to finish her sentence off with that. They weren’t kids that Walter taught. They were full grown adults acting as if they were parents in a custody battle, and she was the child who simply wanted to go live in the woods.

“Even adults can be… challenging to deal with. That’s why I liked working with kids.” Walter gave her a small smile. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but kids stop asking questions when you tell them ‘because’. Either they do that, or they would give me a more creative question. Adults… they’re challenging. They’re meant to be fully developed. And smart.”

Clementine shrugged, wiping her face again with her sleeve.

“But instead, what you get are large children who challenge everything everyone says.”

“I just…” Clementine pulled her knees to her chest, laying her chin down on the top of her kneecap. “I don’t understand why everything turns into a fight – I should’ve expected it from Kenny. He’s… he’s got a temper.”

There was another bout of silence that lasted for a few seconds as Walter’s gaze shifted from the woods back to Clementine. “Can I tell you something?” Slowly, Clementine nodded. Walter hesitated for a moment, before he said, “Listen – relationships are like any machine. You don’t throw them out when they break down.”

He received a bewildered look from Clementine in return. She had known way too many people who had been hurt or killed from bad relationships. Many of them, relating to Kenny. Doug had been shot, simply because he had gotten in the way of Lilly’s attempt to gun down Ben. She remembered the crazed man on her radio; his relationships crumbled and were all but killed because of stupid things that he had done.

Many people were thrown out when they broke down.

“People are the same way. Sometimes, they break down. You just have to get your hands dirty and grease the wheels. You don’t have to throw away everything because of one little slip. Or, in this case, an argument. It’s not going to be the end of the world.”

“Maybe not,” Clementine muttered, “But that’s exactly what it feels like.”

“I suspect they’ll find common ground soon.” Walter replied, placing a hand on her shoulder. “It may take a little bit of time, but that’s just how these things work… everything’s going to be fine.”

Walter stood, and Clementine shakily stood with him. Slowly, he wrapped his hand around the corner of the building. “Walk with me for a minute?”

Clementine slowly nodded, following him as he did.

“With the fighting going on inside… well, we have to unify our factions for a common goal.” He smiles kindly, “You know, like Churchill and Roosevelt. Will you help me with that?”

The names were unfamiliar, which really put a damper on Clementine’s ability to either agree or disagree with Walter’s words. For all that she knew, those two people could have lost some horrific war. But then again, they could have won it, too.

Clementine mulled it over for a moment. What was there to lose? Her mind? Her dignity? The small amount of respect she could get as an eleven year old who had trouble opening up some doors because they were too heavy? No, she would probably lose all three. But if she could get Kenny and the others to stop fighting, then maybe it would be… worth it. Maybe. Possibly.

Probably not.

“How?” her small voice asked as she dragged her shoe in the dirt. “With everything going on, how?”

“Well, to start with, they have to learn how to talk things out.” Walter looked down at her for a moment, and then scanned the rocks lining the walls. “Let me tell you a little secret – the world isn’t over, even if people say it is. People are more political than ever before. All we can do – what we need to do – is to learn from each other. To empathize and to use our heads.”

Christa and Omid always did say that Clementine could be rather hard-headed. It was probably for the best.

“If we learn from each other… well, we can support each other in a better way. I can help you, and vice versa. Kenny, Nick, and Luke can help each other, so that they don’t argue as much. And that benefits you as well, because it takes away something that hurts you.”

“And what if they still fight?” Clementine pondered. She spoke in a low voice, for a moment paranoid that one of them could hear her. “What then?”

But Walter simply smiled in return. “We keep working with them, then.” His shoulders sagged. “’All war is a symptom of man’s failure as a thinking animal.’ Steinbeck. Have you read him?”

Clementine raised an eyebrow. Walter was definitely still stuck in teacher-mode if he thought that she kept up with her summer reading assignments two years into the outbreak. She couldn’t remember the last time that she had actually been able to sit down and read a book cover to cover without getting a headache after the second page.

“No.”

“Ah,” said Walter, nodding, “Well, he was a smart man. He also said, ‘No man really knows about other human beings. The best he can do is to suppose that they are like himself.’ and I think that that’s important to remember. All that we can do is empathize. Use our heads. Try to be the best that we can.”

“Who… is Steinbeck? And why did he say all that?”

It was such a strange concept. Well, not exactly, but it did feel foreign. It felt much more like something that one would learn in some kind of anger management course, or in an anti-bullying seminar at a school.

“John Steinbeck. He was a writer.” Walter chuckled. “You might’ve heard of Of Mice and Men or The Grapes of Wrath. He wrote both of them. Matthew’s amassing quite the literature collection. He probably has both of those, if you’re curious.”

Clementine nodded. Sarah might be into those books, too.

Walter continued, as if trying to steer the conversation away from Steinbeck. “My point is: as long as we have our wits about us, we can make the right choice. We can build off of each other and help each other along the way. Right?”

“Right.” Inside, as she said this, Clementine wished more than anything that there was a way to simply wave a magic wand and put Walter’s plan into action. But more and more, as the days dragged on, she knew that the chances of that happening were only getting slimmer. People went mad the day that the outbreak started, never mind two and a half years into it.

But she would stay optimistic for his sake.

Clementine looked away, down to the ground with her red and blotchy eyes as she thought of the others. They had every right to be angry – at Kenny, at her, and at each other. Maybe Walter’s advice would work, maybe for a few hours or days. But in all, they had valid reasons to be angry.

Walter’s frowned. She hadn’t realized that she was already on the edge of frustrated tears again.

“What’s the matter, Clementine?” he asked her in a low voice. It was one of concern, just as thickly as his words had been earlier. He crouched to her height, as Clementine continued to look down at the ground. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

They were both quiet for a moment. She wanted to tell him about her fears of the others for that brief second as her heart thumped again. She wanted to tell him about her discomfort with Rebecca’s current situation (the guilt of keeping that secret from Alvin was minimal, but she knew that it soon wouldn’t be).

She wanted to tell him about Carver.

“You can talk to me, Clem.” Walter assured her, reaching out to take her wrist. “There’s almost nothing you can tell me that would surprise me. I can promise you that.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” replied Clementine, her gaze fixated on the ground. She took a step back. “I’m just… worried.” She crossed her arms and looked at him, feeling her lip quiver. “I’m just… tired of being scared.”

Before Walter could reply, Clementine turned to see Kenny coming down the stairs in their direction, his rifle held tightly in his hands. He hung his head as he and Clementine locked eyes.

“Hey,” he said, his voice hoarse. Clementine concluded that it was from yelling, and wiped the frustrated tears from her eyes so that he wouldn’t see them. “Are you okay, Clem?”

“I’m fine.” she replied, shaking her head. Her voice trembled as she spoke. “I’m tired and… I wasn’t thinking.”

“That ain’t your fault, Clem. I lost my temper. I didn’t even realize you were…” Kenny hung his head again, and loosened his grip around the stock of his gun. He never was good with apologies, but Clementine knew that this was genuine. He had always hurt people obliviously, never intentionally. “Anyway, what’re you kids talkin’ about?”

“Politics.” Walter replied dryly. He chuckled as he stood to his full height.

“The hell?”

“Well, being from Florida, I would imagine you know all about politics, Kenny.”

As the semi-dark tone slipped away, Kenny joined in on the chuckling from Walter. “Man, I know one advantage of livin’ in the apocalypse is not dealin’ with that shit no more!”

He gripped his rifle tightly, chuckling as he began to walk ahead of them. “I was just gonna check the windows ‘round back before the storm hits. Give us a hand?”

“Sure.” said Walter, turning to fully face Kenny.

Clementine hoped to herself that Kenny had fully calmed down – that he would do better. That she would do better. And so she and Walter followed Kenny around the corner of the lodge, wordlessly, until he suddenly stopped, his entire body flinching. And then she saw why.

A skinny, redheaded woman was peeking inside of the exact same window that Kenny was planning on checking, and she evidentially hadn’t noticed their chatter from before. Nor did the woman notice three people – two of them being larger, fully grown men, watching her from the side.

Just as Kenny’s expression darkened, Walter gripped him by the shoulder and shook his head.

“Miss?” Walter called out in a voice loud enough for the woman to hear, but seemingly not loud enough for him to scare her.

The woman jumped, stumbling back without a sound as she turned to look at them – and the end of Kenny’s rifle -- with a set of terrified, blue eyes. Gaunt and pale with sunken cheeks, Clementine thought that the woman looked like just another survivor. Just someone else who was probably hungry, and maybe even lost, by the reaction that she had just given.

She held her hands up as she backed up, her eyes wide as she stumbled in place. Walter pushed down the barrel of Kenny’s gun as he called out to the woman again, “Are you all right?”

“Please,” she begged, her voice soft and strained. Clementine noticed the woman’s heavy southern accent with just one word. “Do you have any food?”

[saltedbutters]

Ok um I don't know anything about farms But I want 1920ish farm boys Kenny and Butters bunny au so let's pretend I know stuff It’s long so it’s under the cut (also I drew art for it here!)

So, everyone lives in a small rural farming community in the middle of fucking nowhere, and it's like 1920-30ish?? Like, phones exist, cars exist, but I don't want to deal with the great depression (cuz i know that was bad for farmers).

(Background)(im using this to break up how fucking long this is) The Stotch's have a very big and prosperous farm. They have lots of workers employed (and Butters used to play villains and super heroes and enlist the workers as his minions of chaos when he was little). While Mr. & Mrs. Stotch don't do much farm work themselves (more just managing the workers) they make Butters work to "build character". He receives private tutoring so he can successfully inherit the family farm Butters favorite work to do is taking care of the dairy cows, and he probably got the nickname Butters for being good at churning butter by hand or some shit. He probably makes really nice pastries and things with the fresh ingredients. They live in a nice big southern house and have a respectable place in the community.

Unlike the Stotchs, the McCormicks just have a small family run farm. Their crops/animals aren't very good and they don't make a lot of profit off them. They're looked down on by the community for being drunks, having no education, etc. Kenny goes to public school not cuz he has to or his parents want him to, but because he wants to be better than them. He takes Karen with him so she can have more options in life and maybe move out of the shit town. Also the McCormicks definitely grow weed (and Stephen Stotch tries so hard to get them caught for it, but Butters always calls their house to give them a heads up).

(bunny stuff starts here) Butters doesn't leave the property much except to go into the main town with his father or mother every so often for church or to check out the shops or make a delivery. He's friends with Eric who lives next to him (though a decent ways away still taking the size of the farm lands into account). Kenny also lives next to him (another reason Stephen doesn't like them is because he thinks they sneak into his fields and steal his crops, but rest it's just Butters giving shit away).

The first time Butters realized he has another neighbor his age (like 8yo) he wanted to be friends but his father wouldn't let him, but he'd still sneak out sometimes to spend time with Kenny. It was never much and despite the "Romeo and Juliet" vibe, and they never got that close in the end. Butters got more busy with his tutoring and farm work that he slowly stopped sneaking over to visit (like 11yo).

Once Butters grew to be a teenager (16 maybe) he was taking a walk and ended up a familiar path that went along the edge of the McCormick farm and of course he sees Kenny fucking chopping wood or some gay ass shit and he's staring cuz holy shit he got HOT. Butters doesn't even realize these bi feels but suddenly he reeeeally wants to go to public school and he begs and begs his parents till they give in. And now Butters gets to see Kenny a lot more often. Not every day cuz Kenny doesn't always show up, but way more than he saw him before.

The tan and the muscles Kenny gets from working on the farm BOIII Butters can't deal with these strange feelings.

He finds out Kenny kind of grew to dislike him because he though he was the same as his family and the reason he stopped visiting was because he's grown to dislike the McCormicks too. But Karen meets Butters and gets excited because he's the one who always calls to let them know about Stephen trying to get them caught for weed crimes (Kenny doesn't like Karen to be outside working a lot so she's usually inside and is the one to answer the house phone).

(bunny intensifies) Over time they get closer, hang out with Cartman, Kyle, and Stan too. But it ends up being just the two of them quite often. Sometimes they all smoke weed and get up to dumb shit like skinny dipping in the lake at night, and Butters doesn't realize how obvious his stares at Kenny are. Especially when Kenny steps out of the water and Butters goes beet red but doesn't realize he should probably look away. Butters thinks every scar and freckle and tan line is fucking gorgeous, meanwhile Kenny can't stop thinking of running his hands up and down Butters' smooth skin.

Neither asks the other out, they just kind of slowly tumble down this hill of getting more and more intimate, touches lingering, eyes meeting, and the space between them closing at their lips.

They have to sneak around, it would be bad in an innumerable amount of ways if they were caught with their hands all over each other, so they sneak and hide and it's exciting and Butters can't help his giggling as Kenny grabs his hand and pulls him off behind the general store to kiss him senseless.

They end up spending a lot of time in the hayloft on the Stotch farm, Butters doesn't have to worry about his parents going up there, but he can still hear them if they call for him. Kenny doesn't have to worry about anyone coming for him if he's not home. Sometimes he even sleeps in the loft if he doesn't want to go back that night. The smell of hay isn't exactly romantic but they get used to it. You can't be picky in choosing make-out spots when if literally anyone in this shitty small farm town caught you it would be the town gossip for months. If Stephen heard anything about Butters just spending time with a McCormick he'd be fucked, so any public time they spend together has to be under the cover of the other three boys too. (sad stuff) Kenny sees bruises and marks on Butters skin for the first time and knows exactly what they are from. They're making out in the loft and Kenny's hands wander and Butters urges him on without thinking. And Kenny's rough hands slide his shirt up only to suddenly stop when he sees ugly purple bruises blooming on butters ribs. And Butters is embarrassed, trying to hide them, he doesn't want that part of his life to exist in this perfect bubble he feels he's in when he's with Kenny. But Kenny can see these aren't new and Butters has been hiding these marks from him from the beginning and he gets so angry. He wants to go fight Stephen right there but he sees the way Butters sits in a tighter ball and won't look at him and immediately calms himself down because the last thing he'd ever want to do is scare his boyfriend more. And they just sit there in the loft together, Kenny's hand rubbing soft circles, occasionally playing with Butters hair until he falls asleep in his arms. They both feel so lucky and happy to have each other, even if they're the only ones who know it. (Harvest Dance!!) There's an annual Harvest Dance held at the town hall which includes food and games and all kinds of things, it's one of the town's best events and pretty popular for couple's. Butters really wants to go with Kenny, so Karen helps out in lending Butters a dress and things to turn him into the "new girl passing through town" Marjorine. Some of the guys are even a little jealous that McCormick of all people managed to win her over and take her to the Harvest Dance. And Kenny is so so SO openly flirtatious and he can't stop holding her hand and wrapping his arm around her waist, holding her close for all the dances. He doesn't care how it looks, what does his reputation have to lose? And Marjorine? She will be gone after the Harvest Dance has finished. Whatever the town's people think of her won't matter. They've never been more free than now.

(gets a little nsfw over here now) (It's gonna get dirty now so let me also add in that they've been together over at least a year now, getting closer over time and progressing in their relationship didn't happen overnight so they're like 17-18 possible even 19 depending on how the bday timeline is):

They sit down after a couple dances to eat and Kenny can't stop sneaking his hand up Marjorine's thigh, under her dress. And although Marjorine might be able to keep herself composed, Butters sure can't. He's getting a boner and the last thing he needs is anyone seeing THAT under his dress and becoming suspicious of who exactly this "girl passing through" is. Kenny is such a trouble maker he knows exactly what he's doing.

Marjorine says she needs some fresh air and drags Kenny off with her. It's night by now, and behind the town hall are a couple picnic tables and trees. It's not very well lit, but they see another couple getting handsy nearby thought it's too dim to tell who. And also they don't much care who it is because right now it's just Kenny and some girl no one knows shoved up against the side of the building. And Butters pulls Kenny flush against him, their limbs tangling as they grind against each other. Butters heart is going a mile a minute, he's so excited he wants to be seen, he wants to be caught. Because right now he's Marjorine and no one can tell him what to do. He's not Stephen Stotch's son, there's no one to report to if he's seen getting humped by the McCormick boy.

Kenny's absolutely intoxicated with how confident and bold Butters is being that night, he's so noisy with his moans as Kenny grinds against him and mouths at his neck, occasionally biting and sucking hickies into his perfect, soft skin, the only marks Kenny ever wants to be left on him. Butters will have to wear a bandanna around his neck for a couple of days but it's worth it it's so so worth it. And he'd probably look cute in it to top it off.

Butters' clinging to Kenny so hard as they grind up against eachother, he's panting loudly in Kenny's ear and it's driving him crazy. They don't last long, they haven't been fooling around for very long so neither can hold it together. Kenny keeps his mouth occupied whether it's on Butters' neck or lips because he doesn't want to risk moaning out his name and getting caught, meanwhile Butters is letting Kenny's name fall from his lips like it's the only string of sounds he knows.

Eventually they both cum and are left panting against each other. They regain their breath and slowly make their way back to Kenny's where Butters changes back into his clothes and they walk hand in hand to the Stotch farm where Kenny sends Butters off with a kiss and a promise to see him tomorrow.

(thats all for now) Okay wow that was a fucking LOT. This is the revised version but it's really not that far off from what I originally wrote (which was just a shit ton of messages to Austin while he was asleep cuz I was high and thinking about fucking farm boy??? bunny au). Kinda inspired by @/silkyskiies bunny drawing with Butters in overalls. That drawing snatched my heart. Flirtatious gay ass farm/gardener looking Butters owns my dick. I'm looking at the pic again and wanting to make more aus like what if Butters was a gardener, like flower shop au except it's a whole ass gardening store. I need to stop before I go off cuz I will and this post is long enough. If u like shit like this be sure to tell me or I’ll probably think no one is interested.