#Kafka is just THAT GUY

[mechazushi]

⬆⬇ THIS! ALL OF THISSS!!!!!! JUST..... THISSSSSS

Am I making any sense?

Ok but hoshina, while being a pretty laid-back guy, still usually keeps a tight control over himself and how he acts around others, but Kafka CONSISTENTLY makes him lose that control and act like a doofus because of/around him, he doesn't seem to act so... Immature? Around anyone else, just Kafka, and I think that's honestly the basis of why I like them together so much??

Cus like... Kafka makes him feel comfortable to act like just a GUY, to be silly and carefree and joke around more than he usually does, he breaks down his defences without even trying to because Kafka is just... Such a good, genuine, person that ... He just... Makes people feel safe. Including hoshina!!!!

Like hoshina wouldn't rely on him to like, physically protect him, not with that 1%!!! But he's drawn in on a personal level, he says it himself, he was taken in by his charm and actually totally forgets to suspect him of anything because, well, he's Kafka... Kafka is just Kafka!!! How could anyone assume he's a threat?!?

But I also just like to think of that like... Lowering of defences applying in other ways too, like hoshina typically being a very confident, sure of himself person, and I don't think he tends to care much about romance or anything, but if he wanted to flirt with someone, he would be very confident about it... But something about KAFKA just makes him... Lame and goofy. He is no longer suave he is no longer cool he just keeps breaking out in goofy grins and giggle fits cus Kafka is so fucking CUTE all the time and where the HELL did his power go he is so weak in the face of Sweet Genuine Himbo

Like he's still THE MORE SUAVE ONE of the two, Kafka is a bumbling fool who doesn't know how to flirt to save his life, but he DOES keep saying and doing things that have absolutely no ulterior motive but are accidentally super charming and cool by just... Being himself. But just know if he is flirted with, or TRYINF to flirt, he's a total failure kabdksnsksjs

And yeah the breaking down defenses, making hoshina more... Genuine and real and rawly HIMSELF applies in... Other situations too. ;) I think his tendency to keep In Control of himself and situations definitely bleeds over into his private life, which honestly with how he talks to n.10 is pretty much canon... I think Kafka makes him wanna just Be Himself and just enjoy the situation for what it is without trying to like... Be anything, do anything, keep himself In Line.

[cuttyflammm]

scribbling these goofs in an attempt to drag myself out of burnout (but not brain rot lol)

[astral-shiro]

its dangerous to go alone, take this!

[iceclew]

Well @oxandthorn, consider this totally your fault.. <3

I warned you like.. I'm gonna be totally obsessed with the idea of him having glasses..

So here's some stoobid sketches I came up with... and at least in my head some of those were hilarious, lol.... like... I need this Detective Conan KN8 AU in my life now... Hoshina is sort of the 3rd Div. detective boy anyway, so might as well shrink him to bbe Soshiro and make him solve the case. <3

Ah yes, in case you missed it - the idea is based off of oxandthorn's wonderful oneshot about my fav. blorbos <3

Kafhoshi Fanfiction, man I'm in love with it..

full fic here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56776090

read it or Hoshina's glasses gonna kick ur ass., lol

[brain-of-rain]

Kaiju no. 8 x Godaigo Daigo

Ya'll I'm going to be honest, I really hate writing. However, I am so obsessed with this concept I can't stop myself from trying. Here's an attempt to slap some ideas together into something comprehensible.

Overcast skies shade the city. It's been cold today, the first undisputable sign of changing seasons. Most citizens groan about the chilly air, not ready to let go of summer yet. Some welcome it, and others have been waiting for this moment all year. The lack of sun and cool breeze do wonders for reducing the rotten stench of a stagnant kaiju corpse.

It's noon, and the Monster Sweeper Inc. crew is breaking for lunch. No one wanders off to buy food as the surrounding stores are abandoned. Buildings were left empty during the kaiju clean-up efforts. Co-workers find seating on grassy hills and benches in a nearby park, unboxing packed lunches and chatting aimlessly as their hour rest ticks by. “Man, It’s been a while since the big guy has dropped in. Guess the defense force is keeping him busy” “Sir?” Reno Ichikawa pauses, looking up from his vitamin pouch, too curious to ignore the comment. “Someone from the defense force works for the company?” “Well…” Kafka peters off, gesturing incomprehensibly. “His situation is a bit… complicated.” Glancing at Reno he's met with a deadpan look. “Ok ok, so Big Guy doesn't exactly work for Monster Sweeper Inc., it's more of a volunteer contract. He comes and lends a hand with cleanup when the defense force lets him go out at least, I swear he probably begs to clean up Kaiju, they barely let him out nowadays.” “So what you're saying is the defense force has a prisoner who prefers digging around in kaiju guts over whatever solitary confinement they have him trapped in at the base. You can’t be serious. How could you see the Force with such high favor if that were true.” “No no, you've got it all wrong! He's not a prisoner… well I guess prisoner isn't entirely inaccurate, but his situation isn’t so simple! He's a prisoner of circumstance, not the defense force! UGH, why is this so hard to describe.” “Jesus Kafka, you could not be any worse at explaining things” Mitsuike grins from his bench, scoffing good-naturedly, sympathetic to Ichikawas’ position. “You're beating around the bush too much. What Kafka is trying to say is that Big Guy is the unfortunate product of human experimentation and is required to stay on base unless deployed by the higher-ups due to his terrifying appearance… Ok, I see why you’re having trouble.” Kafka leaps up, dancing around like he won some important bet “HAHA! See! I-” Thud - a familiar sound interrupts the celebration. Thud - There it is again, followed by another at a regular cadence, getting closer with each repetition. The cold, empty streets echoed with the noise. Ichikawa leaps to his feet eyes locked onto his mentor, vitamin lunch forgotten entirely. “Why aren't the kaiju alerts sounding?” His tone was sharp yet controlled. “Why isn't anyone moving? We need to evacuate.” “Ahhh speak of the devil.” Kafka is looking elsewhere, towards the resounding footsteps. “Looks like we don’t have to explain after all.” His nearsighted squint breaks into a smile as he begins waving. Ichikawa stares blankly at him before another footfall breaks his confusion. He looks up, and up and up until he meets the subject of Kafka’s attention. It’s a man, an unnaturally, tall man, dwarfing nearby buildings and interrupting the cityscape. It stops and raises a hand to return Kafka’s gesture. The figure softens, suddenly familiar, friendly, and human. “Oh.” That is all Ichikawa can muster. “That…” Kafka smiles, “Is Big Guy.”

[spooky-activity]

The Trailblazer and her moms

[moeblob]

Me, too, Blade. Me. Too.

(I am taking donations to buy a gigantic $250 stuffed cheeseburger. It's giant. I want it. I will never obtain it. I saw it in a shop window and..... wow. Big.)

[terra-sketches]

EXTREMELY LONG CHARACTER ANALYSIS OF GEN NARUMI (ft. his one-sided beef with Kafka Hibino)

(Spoilers for the Kaiju no. 8 manga!!)

Maybe I'm just missing smth but i can't for the LIFE of me gauge Narumi's feelings about Kafka.

Before Isao's absorption, Gen is irritated at the suggestion that the First Division needs help from a daikaiju. He insists that he can handle No. 9 on his own and would rather have Kafka turned into a suit. Harsh. He straight up just sees Kafka as another kaiju and doesn't give a single fuck about Kafka's personal reasons for joining the force.

After Isao gets absorbed, Gen backtracks and is like "never-mind, actually I could use your strength now that I know what we're up against" and that's nice and all but then he's also like "I don't care if you turn into a kaiju, I'll just kill you". So you know, two steps forward, three steps back. He still doesn't want to humanize Kafka and that's??? bizarre to me?? Like Kafka has NEVER wronged Gen or done anything to offend him and yet Gen refuses to acknowledge his humanity more than a simple "We really shouldn't let a solider keep fighting to their detriment.... but I'm gonna ask you to stay anyway"

Gen isn't a heartless asshole, we SEE how chill/informal he can be with Kikoru and the rest of the First Division at times, so wtf is his weirdness with Kafka about? His feelings are a little TOO cold when they realistically should be more on the neutral side (like how Isao felt, a very "nothing personal" vibe).

Then Kafka asks Gen to help with private training and Gen's expression is so unreadable??? Is he mad? Does he care? Wtf is going on? Why is he always glaring at Kafka? Is that just his "serious captain" face? Why'd he activate his kaiju eyes? GEN WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? DO YOU SEE KAFKA AS AN ALLY OR A FOE? AND WHY?

UPDATE: ok so I’ve thought about it while this sat in my drafts and I can answer my own musings.

I take back what I said about Kafka never upsetting Gen.

Yes he did lol, he TOTALLY did.

And Gen won’t get over it anytime soon but he’s making an effort post-Isao's death. To sum it up, they got off on the wrong foot and Gen is still huffy about it.

Gen’s first impression of Kafka amounts to “Dangerous Daikaiju! Almost killed Mr. Isao >:(“ and that negative sentiment bleeds into every future interaction with Kafka. That’s why he’s unusually hostile and apathetic toward Kafka.

I mean, put yourself in Gen’s shoes.

A 9.8 fortitude (highest fortitude recorded in history) daikaiju is discovered to have been living among the humans (huge red flag) at the third division and your mentor (whom you care about a whole lot) wants to poke at it to test its humanity. You would rather just neutralize the threat while it seems docile but noooooooo, everyone wants to see what it can do. So you’re on standby to watch it plead for it’s life to your mentor. First it's a little pathetic, pretty human actully, but then it goes fucking bonkers on your mentor. You’re waiting for the signal to jump in. But Isao won't give the signal even as he's getting his shit rocked. And you’re like, ‘holy shit am I about the watch this man die!? I gotta get tf out there!” Then No. 8 stabs itself in a freak display of "self-control"??? And finally you arrive ready to kill it but Isao tells you not to?? Like “ok, you’re the boss” but now what?? What are they even gonna do with this unpredictable freak?

Next thing you know, Isao wants you to WORK ALONGSIDE the thing that almost killed him? And you’re like “no wtf, I don’t need its help” bc hello?? You don't trust this unstable thing (and you're kinda prideful). However, Isao insists and you respect Isao enough to reluctantly go along with it. You make sure No. 8 knows its place though! If it makes one wrong move then it’s DEAD MEAT!! No. 8 tries to gives some sob story but you don’t care. It proved how dangerous it can be to humans and that makes it just like any other kaiju. It's past as a human doesn't matter anymore.

End scene---

I understand Gen now omg?? He’s just being cautious, protective even. He doesn’t want someone else to fight No. 8 and get themselves killed (also killing one of the strongest recorded daikiaju in history would be a massive ego boost). That’s why he makes it crystal clear that he’ll kill Kafka if anything happens and that's also why Kafka knows to go to Gen to train his kaiju form.

Gen really will just fucking kill him if things go wrong. And Kafka’s okay with that because he gets that he's a threat. (ouch)

Kikoru doesn’t share Gen feelings and that’s only because Kikoru knew Kafka before the Isao vs. No. 8 fight. Kafka saved her twice so she knows he’s a good man. (Even though he beat the shit out of her father LMAO)

[borgialucrezia]

"I have spent all my life resisting the desire to end it."

— Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena (1920 to 1923)

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

I like to think that hoshina IS flirty with Kafka but in a very... Hoshina way.

He's not like "OMG let's compare hand sizes teehee" he's like "DAMN Kafka why are your hands so damn huge. Big meaty claws lol" and that's just His Way of doing the same thing cus he's a fucking goofball, and it WORKS cus Kafka is a goofball too!!! He speaks fluent goofball!!!

[mechazushi]

Kafka Hibino

Kafka Hibino.... with visible salt and pepper side burns.

Kafka Hibino.... wearing glasses and has salt and pepper side burns.

Kafka HIbino.... in that black turtleneck and a dark brown leather jacket and also wearing glasses and has salt and pepper side burns.

Kafka Hibino.... wearing that outfit and is an Animal Biology Professor in an College Au.

Kafka Hibino..... asking out Hoshina who is an Advanced Mathematics Professor working at the same college, to have an after-work drink with him.

Slightly DRUNK Kafka Hibino... becoming very forward with an also slightly drunk Hoshina

Slightly Drunk Hoshina... immediately matching Kafka's freak tenfold and Kafka is very much fine with this.

[grizzgotmilk]

kafka must be releasing some kaiju pheromones bc he legit be winning the hearts of everyone around him to some extent or the other

[belazarts]

one of those supposed encounters 😗🫰

[oxandthorn]

kafhoshi fic / no thoughts. just together.

ABOUT FIC: kafka visits vice-captain hoshina for some kisses and make outs. rated M for smoochin. 897 words. i'm pretty rusty at writing fics. sooo lol

excerpt below, but full fic here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56709067

****

"Jesus, take it easy–" Kafka laughed.

Without a word, Hoshina pushes Kafka onto the bed, immediately climbing on top of him. Hoshina had no interested in wasting time; there was fun to be had.

Attempting to push himself up to his elbows, Kafka was then robbed of all will to move. Hoshina promptly pushes him back down into the bed.

His hand firmly planted on Kafka's chest, fingers pressing down with intent– Hoshina leaned forward ever so slightly to apply a little more weight, requesting momentary stillness.

Kafka's ears flushed, and his eyes met Hoshina's gaze. His impish smile left Kafka craving more, and yet– he remained still.

Hoshina leaned down even more, and whispered, "easy? i don't know the meaning of the word."

[endlesslytired]

I feel like I'm going insane making these

[iceclew]

...sooo... As threatened mentioned beforehand, I did a thing that might be awefully specific ...? (☉౪ ⊙)

...

... Listen, I took our Kaiju blorbos and squished them onto Markiplier, like this is literally it, there was like one other guy that was like "Omg, Kafka is literally Markiplier" and I was like "YES!! THIS!!" and we were like "AARGH!!" And you should know me by now, that I am very unrational about my doings when there's someone else sharing my obsessions and/or stupid ideas about smth, so here is Markiverse...

And... I am very unsure about the way I pulled this off, like.. I feel...you need the original screenshots for context...? Or maybe not? ...but I mean I can always get rid of them later on..

Moreover better to link the videos as well, I guess?

Goat yoga and The Saddle - Unus Annus (best of compilation)

Family Friendly - Markiplier LP