#KYS YOU FUCKING JOKE OF AN EDUCATION!!

[lotus-sunn]

SUCK MY FUCKING DICK SCHOOL IM DONE HAHAHA

[northwest-cryptid]

why do you have so many haters

Because I yap, honestly.

I say a lot of shit, speak my mind on things; sometimes it's because I think those things matter. Regardless, whenever you talk about anything passionately and you actually take a side in what's being said; you're going to end up with two kinds of people. You're going to have people who agree with you, or who understand what you're saying. Typically these people become your followers or potentially mutuals. I'm not saying that I do it because of this, but this is an inevitable byproduct. However the other kind of person are the people who disagree with you.

Now in an ideal world people who disagree with me could actually explain why they do so, what about what I said may be wrong; maybe even teach me something or show me where I'm lacking information. Then if there is a real error in my words I may correct it going forward and be better educated about the things I actually think matter.

However we sadly do not live in this ideal world, so the people who think I am wrong, or who disagree with me, or who believe I'm a morally bad person for whatever reason (reasons I will not know because they do not tell me). Tend to take more to writing things like how I should kill myself, or that I'm a waste of oxygen, or asking me if I'm autistic (which I am so that's funny).

If you speak up, and you say your thoughts plainly without any kind of filter someone is going to notice when those thoughts pertain to something they are personally invested in. If I say "there's a boycott on Limbus Company and I'm still doing it because the company has yet to correct their sexist behavior and treatment of employees." I will inevitably get a good 5 - 6 inbox anons saying how "some people are too invested in these characters, I'm attached to my blorbo and you are trying to manipulate me by reminding me that there's a boycott that I'm not participating in." I know that sounds like one of those exaggerations where you think "no one ACTUALLY talks like that right?" But no this is a normal occurrence for me. Though to be honest, they almost NEVER include that much context. Typically it's just enough to know roughly which post brought them to me. Like someone might only get out the words "you don't have to be such a dick about the boycott, not all of us can afford to do that!" Which may be prefaced or concluded with some form of "fuck you" "kys" "you were a mistake" though typically the core messages if there is any, seemed to be curtained between both a preface and conclusion of sorts.

I normally get messages regarding Genshin Impact, though sometimes it's just racism towards being Native and speaking up about it.

I have also gotten hate when I had to make a post about needing help with the bills. Which was cool because the part they didn't like was that I mentioned I wasn't going to use buzz words. Apparently that's ableist and bigoted they failed to explain why or how of course. But you know why I included that? Because honestly, I feel like people more or less don't need to be guilted into helping you and it REALLY does feel more like guilt than trying to give me a reason. If you have to open a donations post with "hey I'm a PoC, Queer, [Literally any pronouns]," before you get to the part that matters, which is normally like you know; you losing your housing situation, or not being able to afford to eat; it's just a little off putting. Like don't get me wrong, I too am a queer PoC with literally any pronouns (that's a little enbie joke because it's 6 AM and I'm too high right now.) Like all I was saying is, if you're going to donate to help someone out, it's probably because you genuinely want to help another human being, be it for mutual aid reasons or just charity. I don't donate money to someone's cause just because they're a specific combination of buzzwords that I have sympathy for or something. I donate to people because they're going to lose their house, or they can't eat, or they're in need of some kind of financial help and I've been there before. You don't need to tell me more than that, if you want to give me a reason like "I'm disabled and I don't get disability yet, but I literally cannot work a job." That makes enough sense to me sure, but shouldn't that go after the whole "hey I'm losing my house because I can't pay the bills" thing?! It's not like this is just one or two posts, it's literally every time people need money. I understand it's trying to earn sympathy with specific groups, if you're queer and I'm queer we already have something in common, you're helping a fellow queer. Side note: I hope that word isn't offending anyone, been seeing that going around now that some people want to stop using the word queer or something. Please do understand that's the word I've been using for years and that I've basically been told is the most inclusive way to say it, so I don't mean any ill intentions.

Regardless, this actually serves as a great example, there now exist 2 things within this last paragraph that someone may take offense to; and the track record has been that rather than educate me on the problem they see me making; they'd rather just tell me I'm stupid, some kind of phobic, or just tell me to end my life.

Hell I've even been told it's manipulative and abusive to put "the responsibility of educating you" on someone else. So apparently if I ask someone to please educate me on an important matter, whether it's a term/acronym, or something I don't have all the facts for. I'm in the wrong enough to get hate over it. I have a lot of drafts that were just kind of venting about the hate but I made sure to you know, save them to drafts because I find that if I post about getting hate I typically get more hate, go figure people like to dogpile.

I literally got an ask once, I'm pretty sure it was just a joke but I didn't care for it, when I had spoken out about getting a lot of hate instead of people actually you know, explaining the problem to me. I literally got a message that just said "Fuck you, I don't know why yet but I heard we're all hating on you this week." Which felt like it was too comical to be a genuine attempt at hate so I just kind of deleted it and moved on because I'm honestly so done with hate at this point.

Being opinionated online, no matter what your opinion is; will always stir up to kinds of people. That's the nature of taking a side, suddenly you become the "them" to someone else's "us vs them" and you become a larger target when you speak up a lot, on a lot of posts, about a lot of things; and some of those posts get really popular.

[hoonfication]

𝓜AKE YOU MINE a scaramouche smau

──── iN WHiCH after a heated argument in middle school, you and your childhood best friend kunikuzushi drifted apart, ending your long friendship. Now in high school, both grappling with academic challenges due to your commitment to volleyball, you've had to temporarily stop playing to improve your grades. Luckily, your teacher assigns kunikuzushi, now one of the brightest students, to tutor you. However, there's still unresolved resentment from the past.

PAIRING volleyballplayer gn! reader x overachiever scaramouche

GENRE enemies to lovers, childhood friends, fluff, angst, high school au!

WARNING swearing, mentions of alcohol, kys/ kms/suicide jokes, & friendly bullying

STATUS ON GOING

TAGLIST ( OPEN ) send ask or comment to be added

PROFILES sillies together we are fnaf

📓 𝓓EAR 𝓓IARY . . . i hate him!

CHAPTER 01 lock him up tf

CHAPTER 02 we get it u can stop now

CHAPTER 03 party time ( written )

CHAPTER 04 is he even invited ( written )

CHAPTER 05 as if ( written )

CHAPTER 06 what the fuck

CHAPTER 07 I blame childe

CHAPTER 08 jumping off a roof

CHAPTER 09 I’m not stupid ( written )

📓 𝓓EAR 𝓓IARY . . . to whoever is manifesting my downfall i will find you

CHAPTER 10 help me

CHAPTER 11 my heart is jumping ( written )

CHAPTER 12 fuck education

CHAPTER 13 oh never mind

CHAPTER 14 pls tell me ur joking ( written )

CHAPTER 15 i want to die

CHAPTER 16 prooblems

📓 𝓓EAR 𝓓IARY . . . I feel the tension ???

CHAPTER 17 couple quarrel ( written ) CHAPTER 17.5 flashbacks ( written )

CHAPTER 18 did u guys kiss or what

CHAPTER 19 feeling angry

CHAPTER 20 a win is a win

CHAPTER 21 come 2 my game

CHAPTER 22 is he even coming

CHAPTER 23 what is he doing here ( written )

CHAPTER 24 for me? ( written )

CHAPTER 25 I still hate you ( written )

CHAPTER 26 what am I feeling

CHAPTER 27 I don’t like them

📓 𝓓EAR 𝓓IARY . . . jealousy is a bad look

CHAPTER 28 shaking in my boots

CHAPTER 29 doyouwannagoonadate ( written )

CHAPTER 30 I hope I die

CHAPTER 31 just sobbed

CHAPTER 32 no one told ME

CHAPTER 33 I will puke

CHAPTER 34 “they’re only friends” IDC

CHAPTER 35 I will end myself ( written )

CHAPTER 36 “forget him I want her” take her

CHAPTER 37 someone kill me pls ( written )

CHAPTER 38 y/nscara is collapsing

📓 𝓓EAR 𝓓IARY . . . dumb bitch disease

CHAPTER 39 bad idea

CHAPTER 40 r u serious ( written )

CHAPTER 41 awks

CHAPTER 42 group study ( written )

CHAPTER 43 I give up

CHAPTER 44 he who must not be name

CHAPTER 45 they have a bf?

CHAPTER 46 get urself together

CHAPTER 47 that’s crazy

CHAPTER 48 UR INLOVE

📓 𝓓EAR 𝓓IARY . . . loading

CHAPTER 49

CHAPTER 50

CHAPTER 51

CHAPTER 52

CHAPTER 53

CHAPTER 54

CHAPTER 55

CHAPTER 56

CHAPTER 57

CHAPTER 58

CHAPTER 59

CHAPTER 60

NOTES

﹑second smau oh em gee ?? i promise u this one would be better than my first one 😭 trust !!!

TAGLIST

@livelaughlovekuni @veekoko @neigesprincess @dexocore @lemo-nadde @articmaskeddemon @scarasbaby @kaitfae @lylovw @latteluvs @lovemari @omlxlaure @yuzurixx @maxineshearts @quacking-simp @thystarsshine @chiyoso @yotraumainthebuilding @brain-r0tt @lovely028 @keiiqq @slvdsjjk @fangygf @kamiboo @mechanicalbeat1 @beriiov @feiherp @morgyyyyyyy @livelaughscara @projectsfantasy @saeskiss @kookiibun @saccharine-sucks @cl0udii-m00n @beardedpuppyperfection @featuredtofu @samyayaya

[ bold means I can’t tag you ! ]

© hoonfication, 2023 all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, copy, or repost my works on any platform

[wasflypaw]

In light of the Fundy situation (I'm not gonna talk about that, it isnt my place and there's plenty of more educated ppl talking about it already) I wanna talk about something I've seen on Twitter a lot recently

The normalization of "kys" used as a joke. HOW is that okay? I'm posting about this bc ive seen ppl saying it to Fundy and Fundy fans, but I've also just seen it casually around a lot. Like someone would have a minor disagreement and theyd respond with "kys" and then turn around and say "lmao it's a joke it's not like I actually mean it" huh???

People have admitted that "kys" is just a straight up thing they usually say when they're mad now but that's Not Normal. I've seen responses telling ppl to Hang Themselves because they said "yo dont say kys to people over minor disagreements". It feels like 2012 again why are jokes like this common

Not to mention if someone actually does it you'll get in legal trouble for telling them to??? So not only is it just not fucking funny it's also incredibly dangerous??

If you think that saying that is like, remotely acceptable hardblock me holy shit

[gowithgabby]

Remember the Daze.

Character BIO(s):

Kylie Julien McCarthy

17 years old

Born on September 2nd

Nickname: Ky pronounced like “Kai” (by everyone) Kay-Jay (only by Sav and Jessa), Jewels (by Noah)

Goals: Yale, aspiring to be a Doctor

Interests: Reading, Baking, Beach Days, Mathematics, Literature, Pizza

Crushing on Noah Collins, her best friend since Kindergarten

Summary: One of the best students at Laguna Beach High School, Kylie is articulate, well spoken, mannered, good at multitasking, fairly great at planning, and organized. The kid has a good heart and a good head on her shoulders. A straight A student, member of the school decathlon team, the senior class VP. Kylie is very sweet, honorable, and level headed often acting as the voice of reason in the female portion of her friends. Kylie was born to a successful lawyer, George McCarthy and his partner, Christopher Julien, a ambitious magazine editor. They used a surrogate to have their children, Kylie does know of her birth mother and maintains a relationship with her but she loves her fathers very much. She has a little sister named Violet, who is starting her freshman year at Laguna Beach HS. In all of her 17 years, Kylie has been very complacent in her actions. This year, she is hoping to take the big step in really getting what she wants. She just hopes that it doesn’t blow up in her face. 

Noah Joseph Collins

18 years old

Born on June 27th

Nickname: Joey, Jojo (Only by Kylie and his mom)

Goals: Yale, aspiring to be a Lawyer

Interests: Listening to music before his time, Pizza, Video Games, Reading, Writing, Debating, and Traveling.

Crushing on Kylie McCarthy, his best friend since Kindergarten

Summary: You might think Kylie is the best student at Laguna, but Noah is her academic rival. While he is on the basketball team, he doesn’t care much for the glory that sports brings, not neglecting his athletic skills. He prefers to bury himself with books, educating himself and enriching his mind. You would think him and Kylie would be trying to tear each other down to be the best but it’s actually the exact opposite, they work off each other and build together. This is mainly due to being each other’s best friends since kindergarten, having fond memories of each other. Noah split his lunch with Kylie when she forgot hers on their first day and they’ve been tight ever since. He has dreams of Yale, his father’s alma mater. He is gifted, the editor of the school’s newspaper and he is the senior class President. He is the son of New York Times best selling author, Layla Shaw-Collins and her equally successful husband, Duane Collins, who made his wealth being the most sought out talent agent in LA. He has an older brother named Aaron whom is starting his junior year at Cornell and an older sister named Luna who is a sophomore at Spelman college, a historic black college.

Savanna Wyatt Birkhart

17 years old

Born on October 31st

Nickname: Sav, Savvy, Wyatt (by Ethan)  

Goal: UCLA, aspiring to be a Model

Interests: Modeling, Singing, Cheerleading, Bonfires, Volunteering, Traveling, Shopping, Horror Movies, Yoga, Romance Movies, Makeup, Sage, Hot Wings, Indian Food.

Dating Levi James, boyfriend of 4 years. Crushing on her best friend, Ethan Mahoney (possibly)

Summary: What’s to say about Savanna Birkhart that hasn’t been said already?, dubbed the golden girl of her senior class due to her being head cheerleader and girlfriend of arrogant, Levi, the football star. She makes good grades to keep her GPA somewhat untouchable, she dreams of UCLA. Daughter of Carter Birkhart, a successful property realtor and his award winning actress wife, Farrah Sayers-Birkhart. From the time that the biracial girl was placed in her mother’s arms as a baby, she was genetically “blessed”, taking the best of both parents. Doomed to be popular of her face and wealth, don’t think she feeds into the stereotype of high school. Far from entitled and spoiled, she’s openly friendly, down to earth, charitable, honest, warm, caring, and very naive…especially when it comes to her boyfriend, Levi. Everyone is friends with Sav, she’s a good person to be around. She has an older brother named Silas, who is climbing the ladder to be a PR agent in LA, alma mater of USC and she has a 10 year old younger brother named Six, who was born on Christmas Day. Lately, she’s been finding herself in a somewhat love triangle, between her boyfriend whom she loves and her best friend, Ethan, who she also loves but she’s not sure if it’s friendly love or something more. She’s best friends with Ethan, Cali, Kylie, Noah, and Jessa but gets along with everyone fairly well.

Levi Nathaniel James

18 years old

Born on May 15th

Nickname: LJ

Goal(s): winning the state championship, Stanford, aspires to be CEO of his father’s company

Interests: Partying, Drinking, Working out, Having Sex, Traveling, Sushi, Indian Food, Sports

Dating Savanna Birkhart, girlfriend of 4 years. Unbeknownst to his naive girlfriend, he tends to cheat on her when he goes on family trips or with his dad out of town. He does love her but sometimes he cheats.

Summary: Born to a pair of sun-kissed blonde power couple, Levi is the son of Fortune 500 - Forbes listed CEO of JamesCo, William James and his former model turned socialite wife, Uma Peterson-James. From the day that he was born, Levi has been told that he is powerful, he has money and a lot of it. There hasn’t been anything he wasn’t given, awarded, provided. Textbook jock, Levi excelled in football (mainly), basketball, lacrosse, soccer, and surfs in his free time. He’s QB of the football team and he relishes in the fact that he has Sav on his arm, he’s perfect and he only wants the best for his ego. He mainly focuses on his girlfriend, sex, parties (lots of them), drinking, and sports. He is not the best friend you would want however, very few outside of their friend group knows how he got Sav, by betraying his former best friend from childhood, Ethan, who still harbors a love for Savanna. Recently, he’s been noticing Ethan’s less than quiet advances on Sav. He doesn’t like it, but he has also been holding in secrets from his girlfriend, his cheating and a deeper one that might not only fuck up his relationship with Savanna but destroy the bonds that are deep rooted with their friend group. Levi does have a softer side that only his parents, Savanna, and his sister get to see. He has a little sister named Chelsie, who is a gymnastics prodigy in the making at only 12 years old. He’s best friends with Talan, he’s friends with everyone but he doesn’t care too much for Ethan still being accepted in their group of friends.

Maia Genevieve Langley

18 years old

Born on July 5th

Nickname: Mai, Langley

Goal: Juilliard, aspiring to be an Actress

Interests: Flowers, Hot Girls, Cute Boys, Designing, Makeup, Sneakers, Cupcakes, Acting, Slumber Parties, and experimenting with different hair colors

Crushing on Bodhi Desai and her female classmate, Hanna Richardson

Summary: Everything about Maia screams sensitive, mainly Kylie’s best friends but she does hold close friendships with everyone in the group, Maia is overly sensitive, fiercely loyal, a ride or die friend, and occasionally shy. A little bit on the hyperactive side, openly bisexual and her parents are okay with it, modern day hippies…what can you say?! She had her first same sex experience with a girl at summer camp when she was in the 7th grade. Her friends do tend to walk on eggshells with her due to her over-sensitivity to avoid triggering her. A flair for the dramatics, Maia knows her name will be in lights one day. She wanted to just move to LA and not go to college but her parents are still a little old-fashioned and want her to be educated and perfect her craft before she attempts the struggling actress thing. She was born to a Japanese-American Self help guru named Mina Sato-Langley and a English father named Jeremiah Langley, he was a footballer in England before transitioning to the states and settling into ESPN anchor fame. Maia is the eldest of four children, having two younger identical twin brothers named Hunter and Finn Langley, who are freshmen at Laguna Beach high school. She has a younger sister named Bay Langley who is 6 years old, Maia was 12 years old when her sister was born, she was a what you call a “surprise” baby. Maia has spent the last four years in awe of Bodhi but he doesn’t pick up on her flirtatious banter or he ignores it to avoid hurting her feelings.

Bodhi Abraham Desai

18 years old

Born on March 19th

Nickname: Bo

Goal: Cornell, this school is said to have the best culinary arts program; aspiring to be a Chef with his own restaurant

Interests: Mixology, Baking, Cooking, Soul Music, R&B, Comic Books, Alternative music, Old movies, joking

Crushing on Cali Hernandez

Summary: Known as the Lovable Goofball, Bodhi is down to earth, laidback, friendly, and most of all, silly. He is the son of British Indian award winning Bollywood turned Hollywood actor named Deepak Desai and his acclaimed Screenwriter wife, welsh-Irish wife, Alys Davies-Desai. He has a younger sister named Billie, named after his parents love for Billie Holiday, who is 11 years old. Bodhi dreams of being a chef one day with a restaurant similar to Wolfgang or Gordon, his culinary idols. He would love to take his culinary skills abroad and studying in France, India, Italy, and many other countries. He is quite skilled in mixology, teaching himself the art of mixing drinks from YouTube and picking up tricks from hired bartenders at his parents parties and events. He makes decent grades enough to make his parents proud, he excels in chemistry having a love for science since he was in elementary school. He surfs in his alone time and is a beast on the beach when it comes to frisbee and volleyball. He’s best friends with Noah and Ethan. Close friend with everyone else in the group.

Calista Pilar Hernandez

17 years old

Born on December 31st, a New Year’s Eve baby

Nickname: Cali

Goal: UCLA or USC, aspiring to be a Decorator

Interests: Shopping, Makeup, Vlogging, Chinese Food, Boba Tea, Cheerleading, Beach Nights, Partying.

Dating Talan Everett, boyfriend of 4 years. Crushing on someone in the group but refusing to say it

Summary: Calista is the hot-headed BFF to Savanna Birkhart, while they’re both cheerleaders and share some interests, but ultimately are opposite, where Savanna is down to earth and warm, Cali tends to come off as spoiled and cold. Outspoken, brash, a slick mouth and sarcasm stewed to perfection. Do not call her a spicy Latina, she hates the way Hollywood has stereotyped women with attitude. She’s fiery and will let you know about your wrongs, proud of her heritage. She’s of Mexican-Cuban descent and Swedish through her mother. Cali has a younger brother named Javi, who is a sophomore at Laguna Beach High. Raised by her single father, Javier Hernandez Sr, a famous architect that made his wealth building homes and iconic businesses for the elite. Her mother, Enya Nilsson was a influential fashion designer with several collections, one even named after her daughter, Calista. She lost her mom at 8 years old, making her father a widow. He buried himself into his work and left his cards accessibly to his kids, Cali stepped up and helped her various nannies with her younger brother who was only 6 when their mom died. Like her best friend, she’s sexually active with her boyfriend, Talan. She and Savanna were already going to be best friends, due to their mothers. Enya and Farrah being friends. Farrah even walked on the runway for her designer friend a few times, somehow falling pregnant with their daughters weirdly around the same time. She’s been having issues with her boyfriend, Talan lately.

Talan Gray Everett

18 years old

Born on April 10th

Nickname: Tal

Goal: Wharton Business School, aspires to be Advertising Executive

Interests: Drawing, Gardening, Growing his own Weed strains, Smoking pot, Surfing, Painting, Working out

Dating Cali Hernandez, girlfriend of 4 years. Crushing on Jessa Filipov, his best friend of 6 years.

Summary: Talan is by far the most reliable guy next to Noah in his group of his friends. Son of A-List Party Planner, Britney Westin-Everett and successful Nightclub-Exotic Strip owning Mogul, Alan Everett. Talan has a younger sister named, Serena who is 15 years old and a sophomore at Laguna Beach HS and a older half brother on his father’s side, Gilliam, nicknamed Gill, who’s a senior at NYU. Talan spends his days smoking weed, drawing, surfing, skate-boarding, playing volleyball, and mainly keeping his GF, Cali and his best friend, Jessa from ripping each other’s hair out. While he knows Cali is not always a BITCH on wheels and Jessa is not only known for her body count, he doesn’t understand why the young women don’t care to much for him having the other in his life. He often wonders had his life would have been different if he chose Jessa over Cali back in the summer of 9th grade. Would Cali even still be his friend?. He knows they’re both different outside of school and when they’re alone with him. Don’t let his pot smoking ways fool you, Talan is very articulate, calculated, wise…even honorable. He has a green-thumb and he frequently grows his own cannabis in grow houses on the shores of Laguna. He does plan on going to study business. He’s a skilled artist and creative with everything. He’s sexually active and you would think with how close he is with Jessa, he cheated on Cali. But he has not, he’s been extremely faithful to his girlfriend, he does love her. Even though lately they have been on murky waters.

Jessa Beatrix Filipov

17 years old

Born on September 23rd

Nickname: J, JJ, Jess, Bea

Goal: NYU or FIT, aspires to be a Stylist

Interests: Dancing, Twerking, Parties, Salads, Gyros, Burgers, Cheerleading, Beach Days, Themed parties, Hip Hop, Pop music

Crushing on Talan Everett, her best friend of 6 years. Despite him having a GF, Cali

Summary: Jessa was not born in Laguna Beach, Cali will let you and everyone know this information. But she was born in the Nation’s capital to a pair of Bulgarian-American parents, her mother was a high society debutante, Petia Alferov-Filipov and her father, Darian Filipov, was the son of a Oil tycoon who was working his way to senator in his state of DC. However her high society days were cut short when her parents were killed in a car crash when she was 12 years old. Not having any family that was willingly to take her in on the east coast, Jessa was placed in care with her paternal aunt, Yoana Filipov, who was 23 years old at the time. Her aunt is old enough to be her older sister and is not much of a guardian. Her aunt is an heiress who doesn’t need to work, naturally she let her niece do whatever she wants. Only showing up to parent-guardian type things if it’s really needed, signing permission slips and sending her niece money. Jessa quickly made friends in the first few weeks of moving to LB, quickly making her debut as the 10th friend in their group of 9. Jessa “grew up and out” developing physically before the other girls in the group, making her unwisely the first one to adhere to her sexual exploration and interests. She briefly dated Noah, even took his virginity in 9th grade before letting him go as he continued to love Kylie from afar. She does not believe in labels or dating unless she’s really in love and she’s only been in love with one person, Talan for as long as she can remember. A cheerleader, a party girl, and sexually liberated (her words), Jessa is not everyone’s cup of tea…mainly Cali’s. She and Cali actually share a lot in common, both being confident in their looks on the outside but insecure on the inside, sexually active, slick mouthed and sharp tongued, you would think they’d be the best of friends…but they aren’t and Talan is the reason. Plus she also never really like Cali due to her attitude and spoiled demeanor and ability to keep secrets and lie, she is however best friends with Sav and Maia and occasionally Kylie, as she respects the girl’s morals and values to wait. She’s got a good heart and she does believe in love, having seen it firsthand with her parents. She doesn’t want to rush into something that will bite her in the ass. Until it’s something real, mainly with Talan, she doesn’t want a relationship, keeping it casual.

Ethan Lewis Mahoney

18 years old

Born on April 22nd

Nickname: E, Ma-Honey (by Sav…a childhood nickname because she mispronounced his surname in pre-K) and Mahone (by Sav and Noah)

Goal: NYFA or USA, aspires to be a director

Interests: Photography, Smoking Weed, Directing, Writing, Making Films, Comic Books, Hot Wings, Tacos, Horror Movies, and Spicy Foods

Crushing on Savanna Birkhart, his best friend since Pre-K.

Summary: Ethan prefers to spend his time, directing school plays, photographing things, his muse is often Savanna, often taking a lot of her photos for her portfolio. But he’s not a creep about it, she asks him and he obliges because he loves her and knows that she will be a phenomenal model one day. He works for the school newspaper as the head photographer after Noah asked him to when his OG photographer graduated two years ago. While no desires to be a sports guy, Ethan does enjoy watching them. He’s more on the artistic side, preferring to be on the opposing side like behind his lenses or making the productions. He’s the son of Celebrity Chef, Eleanor White (formerly Mahoney) and her philandering Award winning Actor ex husband, Lyle Mahoney. Ethan is the middle of three children that the couple bore before divorcing, he has an older sister named Isla Mahoney who’s currently working at Vogue as a social media advisor, and he has a younger brother named Noel Mahoney who’s the same as age as Sav’s younger brother, Six. He has dated in the past and even had sex a few times, but none of them compared…compared to Savanna. She’s been the object of his affection since he was in preschool, he loved her even before he knew what love was. They even shared their first kiss together. Ethan was right on track with own planning tactics to telling Savanna how he felt until Levi happened. Levi was at one point his best friend, he swooped in and asserted his claim on Savanna, buying her off with lavish gifts and court side seats. He didn’t blame Sav, Levi gave her a story of lies that he always been in love with her and he was too scared to make a move, the gifts didn’t get her…the lies of Levi did. From then on, Ethan had to watch the girl of his dreams be paraded around like a trophy by his former best friend. Things have been rocky ever since, with both guys only getting along for the sake of Savanna. But he wants it’s to be different especially after he hears some interesting news about Levi’s infidelity…he’s just hoping Savanna will believe him and not Levi.

[hws-denmark]

Very off-brand but literally just venting and vitriol under the cut about recent-ish hetalia discourse, if you don't wanna see it then don't read it! Cheers.

Alright idk what the fuck happened to fandom spaces over the past 5 years but this shit is super toxic now. It's like the internet has over-corrected from "it's the wild west baybeeeee, ship wars and death threats and downright awful behavior galore" to "have you consumed anything problematic or made a mistake anytime in the past 30 years??? Literally go fucking die you deserve to kys!!". Both are shit. But in my experience, one is a fuckton easier to avoid. Hetalia is a problematic show. This is a fact. There's an anti-semetic joke in the dub. There's whitewashing in the earlier anime seasons. Hima's characterisation of South Korea is horrific. France's earliest characterisations are done real dirty with the amount of sexual assault present. You could write essays about this shit, but honestly it's all been said in better ways before so I don't particularly care to. But quite frankly the amount of harassment from sad trolls and bullies online is nuts over this shit. Five fucking months and it's unavoidable- "Your a nazi! Facist, japanese imperialist anti-semite!!" NEWS FLASH- YOUR KEYBOARD WARRIOR CRAP ISN'T DOING JACK SHIT! YOU AREN'T PREVENTING A-NY-THING, YOU AREN'T HELPING A-NY-ONE! GET OFF YOUR ASS AND CALL OUT THE HATE I GUARANTEE WILL BE HAPPENING IN REAL DANG LIFE IN YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY IF YOU ACTUALLY WANNA EDUCATE AND MAKE A POSITIVE CHANGE. There's a world of difference between calling out shitty fandom behavior and whatever the fuck this is. It's madness that I have to point out how saying that people talking about cartoon characters from a five minute OVA even holds a single CANDLE to the worldwide rise in nationalist sentiment and anti-semetic conspiracy theory, bourne from a mass refusal to acknowledge history, is so severely minimising. I take it that's okay though because you can wank yourself off on your nice little high horse without actually doing anything to combat hate or improve the world in any way though? The show has so many faults and for multitudes of good reasons you might never want to see it ever again. So block it. Don't interact with it. Blacklist the tag. But it is downright RUDE to be coming INTO the tag and talking shit. That doesn't tell me you're earnestly trying to avoid the series- it tells me you're really really trying to start fights. Bc I have been using the block button pretty liberally recently, and for every normal user venting I see, there's always an equal amount of people who, ironically, seem to dedicate their blog to bigotry against others and cyber-harassment. I've seen anti-hetalia blogs that have been sexist, racist, panphobic and, maybe most hypocritically, one that was bizarrely insensitive to the connotations of a past political regime. And yet minors look to these same people and parrot what they say for clout. In my experience, in a whole lot of anti-hetalia circles, there's a severe case of "mocking because I think it's cringe, but disguising it as concern for others to not look like a straight-up dickhead and have the moral high ground". Is it seeping from twitter? Bc I see that shit there all the time even in non-fandom spaces, the black/white, we're angels/they're devils thinking that real life and sane adults just do not fucking operate on. What I do know is, in the midst of a difficult pandemic, the one announcement in months that was happy and exciting for me left me feeling like dogshit by the end of the day. The weekly episodes that I should be excited for are just making me dread what I'm gonna see online. The nordic five are kinda like comfort characters for me, since I grew up in an emotionally abusive household and so I treated them like the family I never had. And yet, when I wanna go online and look at headcanons and read cool au fanfics, I always seem to stumble upon the implication that doing this is somehow severely hurting someone and that I'm a terrible monster. Logically, I know this is a load of shit. And yet I've noticed I've been putting myself down and looking at more and more self-harm content again recently bc

guilt-tripping with that much weight seeps into your brain like a nasty case of sepsis. Even the more casual "haha hetalia not another pandemic/more brainrot/will punch you on sight" lark starts to fucking drag when it's just SO widespread. Might just queue nice art, drop the occasional fanfic and otherwise stop interacting with the fandom tbqh. This bullshit is not healthy and some of the people on this hellsite are genuine psychos.

[gr0veyard]

Ooc.; also other stuff im giving my 2 Cents to, so skip if you dont care

[[MORE]]

Puberty blockers:

PBs are not irreversible lmao. They don't mutilate a minors body. They merely keep puberty on hold long enough for the minor in question to have time to make sure they want to transition. PUBERTY is what is irreversible. Imagine going thru puberty and growing into a body that at worst will make you wanna KYS and at best hate looking at yourself in the mirror. Do you know how expensive transition can be after puberty? PLEASE do more research before making asinine statements like PBs being comparable to mutilation. PBs only hold puberty as long as theyre being taken, meaning that if you stop taking em puberty will set in just as it usually would.

"Even hormone blockers and transitional hormones are largely untested when it comes to long term effects" is a baseless claim which a little googling can be disproven.

"One of my friends in high school medically transitioned, and it did nothing to help their dysphoria. It just made them even more depressed, and they later killed themselves." I'm sorry for your loss, genuinly. That really sucks. But as much it makes me look like an asshole for saying this, this is an appeal to emotion (aka not factually backing your other claims) and also circumstancial. If your friend's suicide was tied to their transition, their case is just that: theirs. One of the biggest contributors to trans suicude rates is the unattainability of affordable transition and dysphoria caused by the changes made by puberty, only topped by abuse from people towards trans people. By advocating for PBs to be prohibited or limited, you don't help. You make the problem worse.

Communism:

"I’m against Communist and Fascism as they’re both extremely Authoritarian systems that give the government complete control over how you live your life." Since I'm a socialist and not a communist I cant speak for communism, but most allegedly communist states today still basically operate on a capitalist core, where they have communist parties etc., but still have a free market for instance. China for example, but Russia too.

Capitalism amasses copious amounts of wealth on the backs of the lower class in a short amount of time but is ultimately unsustainable. Vaush on youtube has a number of videos on this I recommend you to check out.

Healthcare:

"You can’t have a right to the services and labor of another person, their own freedom is taken away by that." No one is saying that should happen. Ideally, the state pays for this healthcare and before you say anything about that: I'm from a country without america's privatized healthcare. It's never been an issue here, people aren't fucking terrified shitless to go to the doctor bc they could go into crippling debt. Sure, you gotta wait a lil longer than someone w a private insurance company (which still exists but isnt necessary to live) in the waitingroom but that's annoying at worst.

I went to america end of 2019 to visit my gf and I fell really ill there. I had to go to the doctor there and I nearly felt my soul leave my body when I had to pay 100 FUCKING DOLLARS HOLY SHIT. thats nearly a fourth of my monthly income bro, how can you claim this to be okay? Ofc medstaff still need to be paid but oh my gods this is not okay. If I had to live with this system for the rest of my life it's fair to say I'd never go to the fucking doctor. And that'd be worse for the docs AND FOR ME.

"If you die or develop incurable illness awaiting treatment for months, there’s nothing anyone can do. If you’re treated right away and unfortunately end up with loads of medial debt, it’s unfortunate, but you’re still alive. You can still try to fundraise money, get donations, or if you’re skilled, work it off. It’s really shitty, but necessary." N- no????? It reaLLY ISNT THOUGH??? As I've stated before, this is not an issue w public healthcare. It's smth that's an issue in general and it DOES happen in america right now. Where I live this doesnt happen to my knowledge. Why should it? The gov is gonna pay anyway so might as well get it done and get the next patient. You shouldnt have to go into debt to live. That's not humane.

"I don’t think the poor should die, I don’t want the suffering to be left to their fate." Contradictory to the part where you think going into debt is necessary. Being in debt IS suffering. *I* am in debt, and I suffer because of it everyday. And it's not because of healthcare.

When going into debt to heal is your only option as an alternative to possibly dying or suffering on, then making that choice is like having to choose between the black plague and cholera.

"Buy a gun, grow a garden, learn to build shelter, and make plans to invade a neighboring territory and become it’s technocratic warlord after your country collapses into an unlivable hellscape." Making a joke like this at the end of a post about serious topics like this is kind of trivializing the entire issue and a little disrespectful. Don't do that please. It's like you're comparing to Fallout 4 and I shouldn't need to point out why that's bad.

At the end of the day, Im not trying to change your mind bc thats futile and not my job. But I do absolutely intend to fact check claims I know for a fact are BS, or educate myself to make my own judgement, and so should you. If you want to know how truthful smth is, listen to multiple scources (centrist AND leftist) and crosscompare wether what you hear abt certain leftist ideas is in fact true or not.

Or dont and continue living in an echochamber. Your call.

Have a nice day.

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

Anti-destinations 2021 -- Point Pleasant, WV & Pomeroy, OH, USA.

Small-town life along the Ohio River of Appalachia

Pomeroy, Ohio is this quaint little town nestled on the banks of the Ohio River.

With cozy shops displaying the local’s flair for things no one wants or buys.

and warm lights that use the burning of coal...

and when I say burning, I mean literally...right...down...the darn street...

to exude friendliness and a welcoming vibe, despite most days being gray with an overcast sky...

and the river looking brown, just like mud pie...

but it keeps it somewhat bearable for the hill-born -- rather than losing one’s mind at the slow-decline and festering state-of-decay that gradually becomes of you from living in a place that incubates full-on, hyper-depression...like during...the.......depression. Only, now, with a toxic air about it that one can’t quite describe. I would ask you to try, but you would lose your shiz if you did.

Despite this tiny slab of faux-paradise with its small-town appeal, you’ll find too much time spent here will end up requiring stiff medication just to make it through the day.

And if not medication from an overly-priced, hostile doctor who doesn’t do anything to help you other than give you the run-around and tell you to keep coming back for more of the same, and also while going in debt to pay their fee, you will find yourself just lovin’ you some caffeine, nicotine, cold, hard liquor...or any comforting, yet highly-addictive substance you can get your hands on.

Which is also probably what started the little inside joke among the locals. “Yeah, the Bible Belt...two things you know you’ll find here: bars and churches.” It’s true, you will find a bar and a church in every small town of Appalachia. If not one of each, you will find many of each. Every block, a bar and a church.

The hill people get depressed from being poor and broke and they go drink at the bar with their buddies and slither home to sleep it off, but being a good ol’ boy and knowing they done different from what their sweet, aging mama and the good Lord taught ‘em, they get fancied up in their best duds and go to church on Sunday. All’s well. Back to work on Monday. Life is normal.

But if one does manage to land a decent doctor who actually gives 1/4 a fuck, the medication will come at a hefty price via a doctor’s appointment you won’t be able to afford with your basic annual income, but you’ll spend years paying it off anyway -- as West Virginia and the Tri-State Area in general (including Kentucky) earned the title of poorest American areas, and also have the worst medical system in the entire country. WV and KY literally made the list of 10 poorest states, so yeah, I’m not exaggerating.

Not all of Ohio is poor like WV, just the parts of small-town, hick-related Ohio that are connected to WV. Basically, all of Kentucky is like WV, despite their “big city” trick-aesthetic. Because it seems that poverty is contagious and poor people tend to act as insect repellant against rich people inhabiting the area. They tend to stay waaay away and let the locals wallow in their self-pity...until...stereotype, boredom, or old age get the better of ‘em...or, ya know...inhaling that good old-fashioned, toxic, environmentally-depleting, coal-burning on a daily fucking basis gets the better of ‘em.

Right around the Mason-Dixon and down into the Deep South, that’s where you’ll find the real American poverty. You might think it’s a joke, but this area falls along the Bible Belt, and it’s a very poor area where a lot of poor people live, and also, it’s a place where more people take medication because of chronic mental conditions like depression and anxiety from being perpetually poor and living in a small town with zero opportunity, minimum access to higher-education...or any education for that matter, little industry, and slim chance for prosperity; or what most other people on earth like to call “living the good life!”

It presents okay enough, but to really know how life is in these gloomy little towns buried in the hills of the Appalachian Region/Allegheny Mountains, one must be, as in, born and raised, from the area. To live the culture of small-town life, accepting and adapting to the limitations and restrictions that come with small-town life...it kills you a little inside each day. Small-towners from the poorest region of the country are familiar with this anti-dreamy American existence.

Bitterness becomes your old friend. You don’t remember them from high school, but you’re sure that’s where you first met.

There’s a lot of broken people around these parts...broken souls who never had a chance to shine. Never had a chance to flourish. Funny enough, this area has fireflies. In the spring and summer, lightning bugs (as the locals call ‘em) light up the fields and meadows along the country roads. It’s a sight to behold, indeed.

But the people, they don’t understand they’re more important than fireflies...and they, too, can shine in the midst of this dark world. But ya know, they don’t...they don’t shine. They work, and they cry, and they battle disease and addiction, and they pray, and they keep living the lie...but they don’t shine.

Would I suggest you visit Pomeroy, OH, USA? I mean, not really. Take your chances, I guess...and hope for the best. But there’s certainly better places to see and better things to do. You won’t be missing much here.

Except for maybe a nightmare or two.

Which leads me to Point Pleasant, WV...

Ah, the Mothman. You’ve heard of him...or it, shall I say. You know the story. You’ve heard the hearsay. The bridge collapse. The eerie sightings. The unconfirmed rumors. The mysterious circumstances. You know about it, right?

Yeah, well...that’s the fifteen minutes, the claim to fame for this small-town nestled on the Ohio river among the tree-lined hills of West Virginia. The Mountain State. Where you could get abducted by a weird insect man (or thing) with wings and red eyes and an agenda...and his motive is not what you think.

You could also become the victim of stereotype, folklore, and hillbilly hype.

Everyone knows if you live in WV, you must be a hick, hillbilly, redneck, or inbred. Sometimes, one could be absolutely right in that assessment. So be extra careful when setting foot in the state...it might be the last foot you ever set, depending on who you meet along the way. Just hope and pray you don’t meet any mountain men from those four categories.

Hillbillies have been known to keep human feet as trophies on their wall like a hunter keeps the heads of deer -- they keep those, too, btw. This area is pro-gun and lacks education, so yeah...hillbillies with guns and voting rights...never a good thing.

You’ll find the main attraction in Point Pleasant is the silvery Mothman statue located in the tiny town square, and basically, that’s the only thing in the town square. There’s also another statue resembling another monument in a bigger city...because small towns are basically knock-offs of big-cities.

But, at least, the knock-off mini monument is located on the bank of the river,

instead of a lonely town square, so the position is more pleasing to visit, given its proximity to flowing water...and something other than nothing.

But if you can’t adapt to small-town life and adopt a small-town mentality, and you can’t get out of the small-town because you’re trapped within circumstance,  Mothman or not, you will slowly disappear.

But, I mean, if you want to visit a place that harbors depressed people, with the environment and economy being reasons for their depression, by all means, feel obliged. But hopefully, I won’t see you there. Bye.

[blue-shaded]

Everybody's talking about just Schlatt's thumbnail as if the entire video wasn't offensive as hell. They laughed about 9/11, kkk, autism, Hitler, the laughed about a "joke" about a children's daycare being... nsfw is all I'm comfortable saying really. Really it was just all sorts of stuff like that. I've seen so many members of ramtwt (schlatts subtwt group) saying they're leaving and disappointed and that he need to be held accountable and that they couldn't stand watching the video or they were unfollowing mutuals who still followed him. Even accounts dedicated to schlatt said they were going inactive, including the Schlatt updates account

The worst part is that he's not gonna do anything. He has a bunch of fucking cishet neurotypical white supremacist misogynistic assholes defending him and even if his audience is reduced to only those people at least he'll still have an audience and still earn money so he's not gonna do anything

And like, Jackbox isn't the most "family friendly" game, but you can play it AND be funny without shitting on minorities. I've never really been a fan of him and have always been a little on edge around him but I was starting to be like "oh maybe I should watch a video or two of his and see if he's as horrible as some people say"

I would like to say, though, that this is STILL NO REASON to tell ramtwt, ESPECIALLY the ex-members of ramtwt who have been badly hurt by this, to kys (I don't like saying it even just to tell people not to say it but I couldn't figure out a better way to say it sorry)

-🐬

Yeah no some people are basically just destined to be horrible people and this guy is a prime example. Some people, there’s no point in educating.

[larstenobar]

Okay so I mentioned it in the tags but I kinda wanna talk about my experiences with So/uth Pa/rk. I say this as a cis, gay, non-Jewish man. I also say this as someone who used to actually engage with the forums on the main site. I also say this as someone who played. both the two major video game RPGs. So I am speaking not from reaction to other people’s reactions but from my own personal knowledge. This post is incredibly long so it’s under a read more. In it I provide what I believe are the actual effects of South Park on its viewership but I need to stress that I think it’s the wrong energy to blame parents for letting their children watch the show.

Don’t blame the parents, blame the show.

That show is genuinely horrible. I’ve seen a lot of people questioning how anyone could let children watch it - and to that I say you’re not adding anything to the conversation by shaming parents for letting their children watch that show. 

My own parents weren’t even out of their twenties when I watched the show, and many other parents grew up with the show as a non-issue. Young parents make mistakes.

At the time it came out and its early years only extremely vigilant parents realized how problematic the show was and the news was hard to spread without social media. At best you could inform your parent friends and hope they listened.

The show’s main characters are children, many parents found/find it hard to believe that a show with children as the main characters could be bad for those children. If the show were exactly the same but the children were college-aged then it would be another raunchy show they could easily see is not meant for their kids.

There’s a good portion of children who watched the show that weren’t actually allowed to watch it because their parents weren’t as tech savvy as them and therefore didn’t know about pirating/streaming until it was mainstream. We who grew up with YouTube knew you could put in [show] episode 1 part 1 and start watching. (this is gonna be another point later btw)

I know that it’s hard for you guys to even know all the reasons it’s problematic because you all barely scratch the surface of it’s problems. But before we even get into the meat of its problems (Science Denial, Homophobia, Transphobia, Ableism, Anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, etc.) we have to look at the very premise of the show.

The main characters begin in fourth grade. Fourth Grade. There’s a phenomena in our culture where we believe that children saying stupid stuff is harmless, and we forget that when children hear children speak - even animated children - they are hearing their peers. And peers learn from each other. This is why the show is so insidious, because it makes it easier for children to digest the messages.

Another thing that’s very important to note is that - while it’s labelled satire, every single joke is played straight, and the straight man character (usually either S or Ky) are ridiculed by the culture they’re surrounded in. Don’t believe me? Think I’m over-exaggerating? Think about the election episode, where they had to pick between a literal piece of shit or a douche. Our Straightmen were constantly saying how ridiculous the situation was, but everyone around them was telling them they were the ones who were stupid for not particpating in the election until they eventually break and submit to the absurdity. This is a light example, but it’s the typical formula. If they aren’t actively participating in the absurdity around them, they’re ridiculed until they break. What this tells the audience isn’t that the people who were particpating were stupid, but that they were right.

Now that we’ve looked at the show premise, let’s get into the details. A note: This is just what I remember from approximately age 5-18, the latter years I’d been turned off from it slowly so I wasn’t as engaged but it was not any better then. Since this is just what I can remember without looking through episodes or looking up articles, this is going to be a small sampling of things that stuck with me. Be assured, there was much, much, much more.

Science Denial and its effects on the viewers.

This is the lightest thing I can recall, and probably going to be the smallest section as it’s mostly centered around their stand-in for global warming, a cryptid figure called M/an/Be/ar/P/ig. Al G/ore was painted as a desperate, raving lunatic for believing in the phenomena, and was even implied to be making it up by having him dress up as the cryptid. I don’t have to explain why this is wrong, but we need to look at the effect this had.

On the one hand it made fans think that Global Warming (as it’s something A.G. believed in) was a hoax. Furthermore, it made them believe that anyone who believed in it was telling lies, which was overwhelmingly the most progressive people. A direct effect of these jokes (which they apologized for but never stopped propagating btw, MBP was still a joke when I stopped watching) was that progressives were seen as over-dramatic and stupid.

Now, I am not saying people watched these shows and immediately thought “oh wow, how fucking stupid of A.G. I don’t believe in climate change anymore.” It’s more like this: “Oh haha, S thinks A.G. is annoying, I like S so I agree, A.G. is annoying. You know, A.G. is kinda annoying with all that global warming, maybe there’s something to him being over-dramatic? Gosh why can’t these progressives see that it’s not that big of a deal. If they trust A.G. then they MUST be blowing other things out of proportion.” That’s the thought processes it trains its viewers to have.

LGBT+ Characters

Okay so there’s actually a lot of things that go into the Homophobia of S/P. And it goes back to the very beginning of the show, and is both explicit and implicit. There is a huge problem with these, but the main problem isn’t so much that they exist, but the show’s attitude towards their own ‘jokes’ and the ways in which fans suck up that thought process.

Before I get into this, there were some things that I need to say in favor of the show - not because I think the show deserve praise, but because there were some things that I latched onto and showed a surprising nuance. There’s like one thing, really but it is, of course, attached to something that’s a much larger issue within the show, so while it is a small glimmer, it’s in no way outshining any of the problems in the show.

For a while, the teacher underwent gender reassignment when he (the teacher currently identifies as male from my last interaction with the show) got breast implants and presumably bottom surgery (I vaguely remember a surgery but honestly that could be an invention) he was in a gay relationship. His then boyfriend had a very heartfelt and difficult conversation about how he still cared about him and how he’ll never hate him for being the woman that he wanted to be, but there was no way that he could pursue a relationship with him. I thought that this was a very mature depiction of a very difficult situation that is never really talked about. However, as I implied earlier, this is attached to a larger issue. Before any of you start having second thoughts about your ideas about S/P’s portrayal of gay and trans people, immediately after getting broken up with the teacher became violently homophobic as a backlash, I vaguely recall a group being formed.

Our main examples of LGBT individuals in the show are these big four (five?):

The afforementioned teacher

The teacher’s boyfriend, who wears leather gear at school and can’t stop talking kink even in front of the child characters

A character called B/ig G/ay A/l who is just as stereotypical as his name implies.

T/weak and C/raig, who are classmates of the focal characters. There’s a lot of reasons this is problematic, none of them being the age of those involved in the relationship - but the portrayal of them is hugely problematic.

Since I’ve already touched on the teacher, we’ll get into them first. When he was introduced, he was a sort of ambiguously gay character who was very bitchy and spoke with a slight lisp that eventually became a canon gay character with his relationship with the Kink Character. He was violently hateful towards his class, verbally abusing them all the time and often particpating in bullying children. Furthermore he’s seen as incompetent. This is problematic not because he’s a gay man doing this (though it’s not great either) but because this taught children that teachers don’t care about them and that they shouldn’t listen to them because they don’t know what they’re talking about anyways. This goes into their anti-intellectual stance mentioned earlier. It enforces the idea that education systems are useless, not because of the institutional problems they have with racism, but because of the incompetence of the system.

Going back to the point of this, still with the same character, let’s further explore the problems they had when the teacher had an arc as a trans woman. Honestly, I didn’t pay much attention to it, but the show made a point to let you know that the other characters were uncomfortable when Mr. G became Ms. G. The most damning thing about this, however, is the fact that Mr. G detransitioned bc he realized he wasn’t a straight woman, just a gay man. I think this is problematic because it frames transitioning as a sexual strategy. I don’t think I have to go into detail on why that’s problematic. And while this isn’t actually a tie into how horrible their handling of this character is, it should be noted that he’s the character that went on to be their T/rump stand-in.

The next character is the Kink Man.

God, the character’s personality isn’t actually all that bad. He’s loving and caring and empathetic and actually usually on the right side of topics, but. He doesn’t separate his kink from his personal life. He’s always strutting around in leather-daddy gear and has a lisp. His name is literally Mr. S/lave. There was an episode where he shoved a hamster in his ass. To viewers, he represents the dirty gays that keep shoving their sex-life down their throats - and this view is never, ever, ever subverted, so since the show never makes fun of people for having that view it reinforces that idea in their minds.

Honestly the least problematic character of the LGBT characters that I mentioned was BGA. He’s still a stereotype, yeah, he has a gay dog and is super flamboyant and constantly talks about how proud he is but honestly that’s not really all that bad. I can’t directly recall anything bad about him except that he’s incredibly flamboyant, speaks with a lisp, and loves to call things he owns “BGA’s Big Gay [noun].” Relatable. That doesn’t mean there was nothing problematic, it just doesn’t immediately come to me.

Now, for the next most problematic “representation” in the show. First, T&C showed no signs of actually being gay before. I do recall them both being my favorite characters before they became a couple, however. T is a coffee addict which has some suspect aspects we’ll get into later, and C used to flip everyone off. This was why they were my favorites. They became gay literally when fangirls started shipping them in the show. I’m sure there was an actual fandom movement, but their getting together was incredibly forced - that was part of the joke btw, that gay shipping is always forced. What’s horrible about this is that this was in an episode about ya/oi.

Now, let’s try to dissect this issue. First off, what this tells viewers is that being gay was not a natural part of who they were, but was an active choice (if you’re being kind) or something society forced on them (if you’re not.) The two were actively fighting with the narrative that they were gay and in a relationship. I think their actual agreement for being boyfriends was more of a mutual public display than an actual relationship, but it’s a fuzzy memory because that whole episode felt like a fever dream.

What’s worse about this, is that the show actually displayed ya/oi depictions of these children within the show. Nothing NSFW, but clearly sexually charged situations were definitely shown. At the time, they were 5th graders. 9/10 year olds for those not in the states. This emboldened actual CT shippers “If the show could do it, then so can I” was the general mentality on the forums I was on. So we can talk on pedophilia to reasons why this show is awful.

And those are just the named recurring characters. Another commonly recurring character is a prostitute with a deep voice who is very sloppy looking that, from my recollection, is implied to be a transwoman. This might have just been a conclusion I drew when I was young however - but even that is reason to be critical of the character, that such a conclusion could even be drawn means it might have played a factor in the character’s inception.

They also “Solved Overpopulation” with a gay orgy. I don’t have the language to define why this sat so wrong with me, but I remember being very deeply hurt by it. I think it has something to do with the idea that homosexuality is a choice and that it should only be accepted because of the potential benefits it has for population control.

Islamophobia and Racism

Okay so I’m just gonna come out the gate by saying that they fought hard to depict the prophet Mohammad. Like, hard. And they did it twice - one time went almost unnoticed but the second had a huge backlash from the Islamic people. For those who aren’t aware, it’s sacrilege to depict Mohammad. It’s like desecrating a church, maybe worse - I really have no frame of reference for how bad it’s viewed, but however bad it is, it still boils down to being a strict taboo that S/P broke not once, but twice.

Now, as I keep reminding, my memory gets hazy for many things, especially things I wasn’t aware of being insensitive early on. I have vague memories of terrorists being depicted in traditional Sikh garb, and similar instances of directly relating Islam with terrorism. I don’t recall the show ever making fun of anyone for relating Muslims with terrorism, for all those fans out there saying they make fun of everyone.

There was an episode where the characters wore blackface. There’s a black character literally named t/oken b/lack. Sure, that could be satire and maybe even be defended if they subverted the trope, however it should be noted he’s not the only black character in the show! There was an episode where there was a child adopted from Africa whose name escapes me - he was emaciated and devoured food at an alarming rate and generally was a nuisance if I remember correctly.

There was an instance where one of the main character’s father was on Wheel of Fortune. The category was people who annoy you. the letters on the board were ‘N_ggers.’ You know where this is going, the father said the N-word. The word was really naggers, but the rest of the episode was a sympathetic journey with him dealing with being ostracized. He became known as an ‘n-word guy’ which was treated as a worse term within the universe. I say this because a law was passed where the phrase was outlawed and they said you had to have a space of at least 5 words between ‘n-word’ and ‘guy’. Also, the n-word was said multiple times by a number of white characters. Now, I know the argument people make about this episode. They say that we were supposed to find the scanario ridiculous, but the issue I take with it is more that we’re led to feel sympathetic to racists who’ve had their lives ruined for being racist. That’s the issue with South Park’s brand of ‘satire’. It satirizes one issue, but doesn’t touch on the problematic things used to support that satire.

Almost every single Mexican character is a stereotype of some sort. Either a laborer who can barely speak English, a gangbanger, or some other stereotype. There was an episode where they had C’s hand become a famous Latina popstar by singing about Mexican Food themed songs, like the actual songs ‘T/aco F/lavored K/isses’ and ‘T/aco B/urrito’. The hand’s name was Jennifer Lopez, I don’t know of these songs are direct parodies bc I’ve only heard Jenny From the Block.

And while S/P tends to stay away from very direct anti-black jokes, they don’t shy away from other races. There’s an asian character whose business is called ‘c/ity wok’, but he always pronounces it ‘shitty’ because the joke here is ‘oh haha asians have funny accents’ and literally nothing else. I honestly believe that asians receive the WORST treatment on S/P when it comes to facing racism, but I’m not qualified to make that claim. Other examples of anti-asian racism: There was an pokemon episode where they said that Japan was using anime to indoctrinate youth, they literally had the kids operate fighter jets to make an attack on the U.S. What’s worse about this, is that whenever the Japanese execs were questioned about this, every time, they dropped their pants to show how small their penises were and how they should be pitied for it. Another instance, I very strongly remember a depiction of asian characters as being lemon yellow with eyes like this: \ /. There was an episode where they had Asians violently murder whales with glee. They lean into anti-asian racism so much harder than any other form of racism - the only thing they’re worse about is their antisemitism, which will get its own section later.

Antisemitism

God there’s so much. Jew Gold, nazi imagery, the entirety of c/a/r/t/m/a/n as a character and there are so many posts on this website by people much more qualified than me to delve into what exactly is wrong with this and the depictions of it, so I’m mostly just going to catalog what comes to mind and then speak about the actual factual instances of S/P inspired antisemitism I’ve witnessed and been party to.

There was an episode devoted to Jewish people having a secret bit of gold around their necks. This was proven true in the universe when Ky gave up his ‘J*w Gold’ to C.

Ky’s mom is such an overbearing harpy who bulldozes over everyone, this was later explained as her having Jersey-Blood (yes this was a Jersey Shore joke) but before that it was completely because she was a proud Jewish woman.

Ky’s father is depicted as weak-willed and piddling. He always wears a yarmulke no matter the situation.

Ky is often depicted as being whiny and non-commital

OF ALL THE CHARACTERS, KY IS THE ONE WHO IS DEPICTED AS A HYPOCRITE THE MOST

Ky’s cousin with the same name is depicted as in poor health, complains about everything, whines about things not being fair bc they don’t go his way, and has caricatured Jewish features

As mentioned above, there are hosts of Nazi imagery associated with C

C has said every Jewish slur I have ever heard. In fact he introduced me to the concept of antisemitism

Ky, in a Christmas episode, is depicted as wishing he could celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah is depicted as a sort of consolation prize that’s Not As Good.

Ky’s father was an internet troll, and the trolls were. literal trolls. with certain features that are not great.

The following image is the Prophet Moses:

And there’s more and more and more. I will not accept anyone saying that this is just jokes because I know firsthand how insidious their treatment of Jewish people is because this show literally made me think it was okay to engage in Antisemitism. I made greedy jokes, like saying a got J**ed when i was screwed over, or that someone who was being greedy was being a J*w. I am not proud of this, and I think I grew out of it relatively quickly as I dropped that language in middle school.

But not everyone did. Even some of my closest friends were still saying they got J**ed when we were graduating high school. There were no Jewish people at my school, so there was no humanizing face for the Jewish people for us. Thank god for the Nanny or who knows what kind of person I’d be now. There were people even worse than me, I should mention. There was one person in my school who literally used J*w as a stand-in for loser because of this show. This show was the only interaction with the Jewish faith that most of my classmates ever had, and the same is true of many rural towns in America who have only Protestant populations.

Fatphobia

All the most unlikeable characters are fat. C. Ky’s mom. The gun-toting republican. And there are other specific episodes where they equate fatness to not being healthy. In their episode partnered with WoW (don’t forget that happened, y’all) the main antagonist was depicted as a no-life having loser and he was, surprise, fat. This show draws a very direct line between being fat and being unlikeable.

Sexism

God, the portrayal of women is so horrible, literally my only entry here is going to be one single link:

Note all the other isms depicted in this btw.

Substance Abuse

The prostitute mentioned in the LGBT section would wander into scenes screaming about how she wanted crack. There was an episode where they created a league of basketball players who were comprised entirely of ‘crack babies.’ I’m being generous by not putting that in the racism section because most of the babies were BIPOC which says something about the kind of people that M/att and T/rey think are addicts.

The character T/owelie is supposed to show an addict, but his addiction is literally just weed which means they’re claiming weed is addictive.

I can’t even begin to describe the show’s relationship to alcohol. As a child of an alcoholic, I can say that it’s not fucking cute that they made S’s dad a violent drunk. It’s genuinely scary to see your parent fly into a rage because of their alcoholism and them reducing it to a joke was, I think, one of the points where the ‘it’s just a joke’ mentality started to break for me personally. 

While we’re on the subject of parents, C’s mom was literally a crack addict who was also a full service sex worker. The correlation is not sympathetic in the slightest. And even worse was Ke’s parents. They were depicted as abusive, neglectful, drug-addicted rednecks. This was sometimes played to make you sympathize with Ke, and it worked because even now I can hardly think of how Ke himself was problematic rather than the situations he was in. (He’s the one who gets gruesomely murdered every episode) I don’t know if this is because of selective memory, if he was genuinely just the least problematic in the show, or if I’m waxing nostalgic for the show. Regardless, as I said, his situation was mostly played for sympathy. However, it was also played for jokes almost as often.

Pedophilia

The children are put in sexual situations a nonzero amount of times, they make priest molestation jokes, and they made jokes about MJ.

Slurs

Yeah they said them a lot. There was the aforementioned N-Word Guy episode, but there was also an episode that thinly mirrored immigrants coming to America for work and the people (time-travelers) were called ‘Goobacks’. I think the word ch*nk was used a nonzero amount of times, C used every slur for Jewish people in the book. None of these were censored by the show, any censoring was done by networks.

Why make this post?

Because I know people know this show is garbage, but I think it’s important that people know why it’s garbage with specific and nonspecific instances of why the show was problematic.

[laneymeadows]

Hey is that [SYDNEY SWEENEY]? No, that’s just [DELANEY ANGELICA MEADOWS]. They’re [TWENTY-THREE], and have spent [TWO WEEKS] in Dayton. I hear that they’re kind of [LOYAL AND INTELLIGENT], but also [UNRELIABLE AND SELFISH]. Did you hear their vices are [PROMISCUITY AND COMMITMENT ISSUES]? Can’t wait to see [HER] at the next party! 

( TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE AND NEGLECT. )

full name: delaney angelica meadows

nickname: laney, lane, angel, angie, d.

age: twenty-three

date of birth: november 26th

place of birth: nowhere, ky

zodiac: saggitarius

gender: cis-female

nationality: american

sexual orientation: pansexual

romantic orientation: panromantic

relationship status: single 

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES.

height:  5′3′

weight: 119 pounds

hair color: blonde

eye color: blue

need glasses/contacts? yes

tattoos: sagittarius tattoo star constellation just above the bend of her elbow, lotus on the other with a free flying bird leaving a sitting flock from her left to right shoulder, leaving stardust in it’s wake

distinguishing marks: signs of healed scars across her upper thighs and a couple on her wrists. 

BACKGROUND INFORMATION.

hometown: nowhere, ky

current residence: dayton, ca

past residences: las vegas, nevada. eugene & portland, oregon. seattle, washington.

living arrangement: apartment 

spoken languages: english

financial status: enough to get by but still getting settled

education level: finished high school at 17.

occupation: stripper at plan b

FAMILIAL INFORMATION.

father: wade meadows. 58. doesn’t remember much but the abandonment has weighed on her.

mother: farrah meadows. 56. hates her and hates even more that she’s become a carbon copy.

siblings: jamie & ryleigh meadows (twins, 21) aiden o’connor (brother, 31)

children: none

other: n/a

pets? dog named tank

PERSONALITY.

positive traits: adventurous, independent, loyal, easy going and charismatic.

negative traits: reckless, unreliable, selfish, detatched, aloof, irresponsible.

likes: sex, ecstasy, no strings attached, cocaine, tequila and taking her clothes off without a second thought, tik tok, money && freedom.

dislikes: relationships, being held down, being told what to do, people putting their hands on her unless she’s calling the shots and being responsible for someone else’s well being.

quirks: talks to herself when she’s trying to figure something out (she got it from her brother), pulls herself away the moment feelings get involved or she gets too comfortable, gets blacked out everynight and wakes up with someone she doesn’t know, not knowing where she is, loves being on her own and having her quiet space to herself.

moral alignment: lawful neutral/sometimes lawful evil.

If you were to ask Delaney Meadows what she wanted, she’d simply stare, a glint of hope in her eyes as a mess of a smile sputtered across her lips, a blunt between her fingertips and the once word that slip between them would be “free”. Ever since she was younger, she’d never quiet... fit. Maybe it was the fact that her father hadn’t been present, chalking it up to the typical daddy issues trope before letting the thought slip into obscurity until the next time someone asked what the fuck was her problem. Nowhere, Kentucky; the name alone weaved the truth of what her life’s course had taken her, constantly drifting through as the ones that were supposed to car most simply slipped between her fingertips. An afterthought, that was the cursed middle syndrome main essence had been, hadn’t it? Always left to be the one thought of last, or at least, that’s the way it’d felt. Mom and dad, well, they hadn’t hung around long. Dad took the first chance he’d had to run for the hills, and mom well -- the shit show that Laney had become herself was enough of a storybook. 

It was never meant to turn out this way, her brother being her caretaker, a teacher taking the place of a father, and where was she? Floating. Doing what she could to bust her ass and take care of as much slack that was left behind as she could. She loved Aiden, really. He tried with her, but the more he reeled her in, the harder she fought against the line he’d cast out. So much potential, wasted. A smart girl, graduated at 17, one of the highest SAT and ACT scores in the country, acceptances to colleges with scholarships some would sell their newborns for and where would she take it? Anywhere but here. That life wasn’t for her, college and all this mundane bullshit. It was the last fight, that had been the main catalyst for her departure in the same cold manner as their parents, the one where she’d brought a boy home, nothing new, except this time, she’d gotten caught; that was the last time. If you’re so grown, get a job, get a hotel. The words played like a symphony on a never ending loop, so, that’s what she did -- except this time, she didn’t turn back.

Hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and months turned to a year. All she had was a brain, her body, and a boy. One who’d taken every chance he could to remind her exactly what she’d been worth, the bruises on her body the proof of the so called love he’d shown her. But even through it all, she knew better. She’d suffered, yes. Experienced the anguish and the pain, but not out of love, out of convenience. Out of mere circumstance. A fast car, some cash -- it was your typical Bonnie and Clyde, except she wouldn’t let that tragedy unveil, so she did what she did best the moment she hit eighteen, she escaped his grasp and ran for the nearest club she could find. One where they’d welcomed her with opened arms and a plethora of suitors. It was perfect, really. But no matter how she’d tried to block that year from her memory database, the scars left their painful reminder, keeping her up at night and she swore -- if she stood in one place for too long, she could feel them flare in searing pain. So, she ran. Oregon was nice, peaceful and quiet -- what a fucking joke, then, Seattle. Better, but still, her heart yearned for California, whispers of a certain town that had a history of sin woven into it’s core called out to her. It was her mission, so she worked. 

She should’ve been happy, a bird finally breaking free of it’s flock, flying in it’s own direction, but still, the thought of her mother and father plagued her memories, the blows itching at her until it had turned her numb and fuck, all she wanted to do was feel again. Feel pain, feel anger, feel hopelessness even, but it was all for not. The drugs, the alcohol rolled in, rolling through her body as they breathed life back into her once more. Then came along Dayton. She wasn’t proud of how she’d gotten there, proud of the things she’d done on the side of bearing her naked body in the small quarters of the VIP rooms, but -- fuck it, survival of the fittest. Plan B was her, well, Plan B and she’d tell you to call her Angel, though she knew it was the furthest from the truth, though still it wiped behind the past she still begrudgingly left behind with nothing more than a series of letters and ignored calls. And even now, to this day, if you asked her what she’d aspired to be in her life, with a mind so full of potential, she’d simply smile, though the glint of hope dying with each moment -- she’d still whisper to you... free.

[eye-lantern]

While all of this is fair, what makes me keep my stance on this is that it is not a meme anymore. I have seen kids write it out in normal conversations on other apps without any comedic intention, thinking every platform would punish them for saying kill.

I have heard one of my you her cousin ask me why I still typed kill, that it was dumb because why use a word online if soon it would be banned on other social medias. I had discussions with teens saying that using the real words was insensitive because it would upset victims (I'm more upset at seeing r@¶€ than the real word, an the victims of "kill" won't see the word anymore buddy).

Using unalive was a meme because it was stupid and made fun of censorship on TV, when choosing a ridiculous euphemism was an active choice to mock. Right now there is no choice because TikTok is becoming the main communication and content plateform for kids, and it doesn't censor what they watch, made by a corporation, but what they themselves say in their everyday life, to peers to whom no kid was ever supposed to censor themselves to before.

It is the difference between saying "ill send you to the shadow realm" to a friend after seeing the stupidity of the funimation dub and having your sms not send to your friend because you said "I want to kill myself" during a depressive episode.

Kids don't use unalive as an alternative to suicide with an edgy tone anymore. That was true when assholes on Xbox live sent kys to other players to get around the filter. It became a joke about those people and that niche situation on a small part of our social life online. Now all word linked to any sort of violence are banned on tiktok. Do you know how it feels when you see kids send screenshot of tiktoks talking about hate crimes using the word unalive? No irony no euphemisme they just mean killed. It's not a joke it's a direct effect of censorship.

It's not a quirky joke that kids put "le$bian" or "g@y" in their Twitter bio. They want to avoid censorship and it is understandable but by enforcing those codes where they are not needed and not rebelling against the ones that make them needed in the first place they are just paving the way for more censorship.

Leet was a tool against censorship, but it was used when the internet was a very small part of our life and we used it only for that. It was a tool. Now the internet is part of a child's education and for some their primary mode of communication. No one hangs out outside together every afternoon anymore, because of the hostile design of cities, parental fears and the access to the internet. Kids go home and talk through social media. Their vocabulary and vision of life is sculpted by it.

We must not allow companies to dictate how we talk about death, rape, violence and sexuality. And we must not enforce those arbitrary and dangerous standards for them.

Say kill. Say fuck.

And we'll say unalive again when it is a choice and not a symptom of censorship

I’ve seen it go around a couple times how the people dislike euphemistic terms like “unalive” because it comes from TikTok censorship, and I get where they’re coming from. The sanitization of the Internet for advertisement and its knock-on effect is a serious problem, and some of said bans (especially the euphemisms for queer ones) should be fought rather than just mocked. But in this specific case, I disagree.

A) It’s been around since at least 2013 as a meme, it was popularized by Tiktok but not invented by it.

B) Euphemisms for death are way older than that and many have evolved into distinctions of their own. “Executed”, “disposed of”, “murdered”, and “taken out” all refer to the act of killing a human being, but have subtly different subtexts. “Unalive” isn’t just replacement for the term “die”, it’s referring to a specific type of death (suicide), and a specific tone (darkly comedic).

C) Satirizing censorship is not the same thing as giving into censorship. If a major corporation banning certain words just leads to them making a new word to mock the ban, you certainly aren’t gonna win by implying that using said word is giving into The Man.

[butterflyinthewell]

The level of perfection expected from people on this website is absolutely ludicrous. Mistakes are going to happen. An ableist word gets used, or someone posts a political cartoon or joke with -ist or -phobic undertones and they don’t realize those undertones are present. That doesn’t make them horrific scum, they’re just ignorant! 

Upbringing can determine a lot of what people are and aren’t aware of. There are still things I’m not aware of that I don’t even know I should be aware of...and how can I become aware if every error is met with “kys you piece of shit”?

Decent people apologize and learn from their mistakes. But they can’t learn if they get told to fuck off and kill themselves instead of being educated on the issue they’re perpetuating. That’s the problem in assuming bad faith in every mistake people make-- eventually, they’re going to figure everything they do is wrong in your eyes and drop the rope because they’re tired of being stabbed in the back.

It’s really ironic that I see people say “go educate yourself, but it’s not MY job to educate you.” If that is someone’s first exposure to your issue, they might just say “fuck you then” and never touch it again because they don’t want to get slammed.

Being angry is allowed. 

Using anger as an excuse to continually harass everyone who steps a micrometer out of line, assuming all your allies are still scum no matter what they do and expecting them to keep respecting you is bullshit.

[vuisburning]

Guessing game

Who can guess who these people are correctly? I might do more rounds with different people

1. What is grammar correct? I never heard of it. I like to suck Intuitive’s dick and accuse girl of the flirt with me. Then I call she fat and use slurs of racial. YOU ARE ALL RACIST

2. WHY ARE NEW PEOPLE HERE? HOW DARE THESE NEW PEOPLE COME TO OUR BURNBOOK. GO BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY. MAKE BB GREAT AGAIN. Anyway I love Jex and I’m going to marry him

3. RACISM? IN FRONT OF MY SALAD? Don’t say retard that’s ableist -Types 6 paragraphs about it- and I love to brag about my art sweetie. You’re jealous that I can finger paint. Sweetie I love being educated even tho I’m only in highschool. Keyboard warrior? I’m just smarter than you so it’s your own fault for being dumb sweetie LMAO. Anyway who’s personality can I copy next?

4. I don’t care what this post says just kys anon. I love being a hot head and making girls cry. What did you say about my girlfriend? LOL? I’ll shoot up your school bitch

5. -Sees a fight and jumps in- I don’t have time to fight with kids on the burn book -Leaves- -Comes back- You just like to argue and be extra. I’m wasting my time on you -Leaves- -Comes back- I don’t care if my friends are racist you are just a kid Blocks- -Unblocks- And you just want my attention. Anyway are there any guys I can flirt with?

6. ROFL BRO I want to give everybody nick names and never answer any questions seriously because I’m a big dumb jock and class clown who fetishizing woc BRO ROFL

7. Fttgdhgjd bitch nobody knows what I’m talking about ever and I’m never going to shut up even tho everyone wants me to. Hhhhhh I love to be dramatic bitch. Fftgdhgjdf and my eyes might be the size of melons but I’m not an alien bitch ffffffff. -Says something disturbing- Psycho? Who me? I’m an angel biiiiiitch. Anyway I love being a Gemini

8. I love to insult myself by calling myself fat and ugly even tho I’m not fat and just making fun of overweight people. I have no other jokes so I keep using the same boring one.

9. RYRUFUTUY -Tags boyfriend- You are out of service. You are mine and I want to gag on your dick. -Girl flirts with boyfriend- DGDYOTRIETJ this bitch don’t know me. I’m a gemini. Stay away from him, I have his wolfbabies. He better not ever cheat on me. Anyway where’s my wife and girlfriend DGDYOTRIETJ

10. I love BLM and you white people need to shut up and kys unless you’re my friend. -Submits 100 posts and spams the burnbook- -5 minutes later- Why are new people spamming the burnbook? We don’t like spam. Take your drama somewhere else. I’m just spitting fax and riding Jex. Anyway shop me

11. I love girls but I’m straight -Dates a girl- I’m still straight -Dates 5 girls in one week- Ok maybe I’m bi

12. -Calls someone a nXDger- Me? Racist? I deadass wasn’t deadass mad serious bruh. You retards r jus mad deadass obsessed wit me deadass

13. I’m better than all of you. People think I’m nice but I’m really a hipster asshole that is too broke to pay for my own movie production. Do you know who I am? I had the most popular room for years. These other rooms are just for edgy losers

14. Join uh xxx and where’s uh a girl for me to stab while I uh fuck her because I probably hate my mom

15. Join uh xxx and where’s uh a gemini for me to uh cry over?

17. I love asking girls to park in my room. My room must have the most hot girls in it or I’ll get mad af. If a girl won’t park in my room then she’s a ugly ho and I’m going to slide in her dms to tell her

16. Xxx best room. I love being edgy and calling girls thots even tho I’m a thot myself. Lmfao I’m a saint and at least my dog won’t break my heart. -Breaks 5 girls hearts in one week- Why are girls thots? Fuck geminis and fuck new people. Anyway I love my fans

18-21. We’re the only 4 new people that are liked. We have drama over nudes even tho we should be playing with barbies and action figures because we’re little kids.

22. BEEEEEEETCH I’m peng LOOOOOOOOL. Dawg stfu wiv your dumbass LOOOOOOOOOLWAT

23. I left this Imvu shit for 9 months. I don’t care if you call me a catfish, I’m still better than you. My new girl loves me so I don’t care about you losers. So what if I’m in discord talking shit. You all need to stop bullying me and get a life. I’m not into drama anymore. -Talks shit about 10 people in 1 minute- I’ve moved on from Imvu drama. You losers need to grow up. Anyway I love my girlfriend

24. -Likes every post about Chapo- -Flirts with him- Fuck up. He’s just my friend. Anyway where’s a post that I can comment on that has nothing to do with me

25. I’m just here to keep the peace and approve your posts. I don’t care about anything else. I have all these girls swooning over me but I’m incapable of love. I don’t even love my burnbook. You guys are lucky I don’t shut it down -Single tear rolls down cheek-

[thanidiel]

You're gonna hate me but idgaf all even numbers for Thanidiel.

kys

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

A lot of her titles are all honestly self-evident as fuck - Knight-Champion, Emberward, etc. She DOES have a moniker I’ve written in her history and is present in the TSG wiki - The Terror of Zeb’Alor. She burned down an entire troll settlement for a raid on her outpost that ended with civilian deaths when she was uhhh 19. It’s a reference to the brutality she displayed and also a bit of a joke from the Ranger-Captain that ran the outpost because he refers to her a little Terror/absolutely obnoxious shit.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Thanidiel loved her father and he was her role model. Very valiant soldier. She does NOT get along with her mother and they are no longer on speaking terms.

This will not come up in roleplay ever but Thanidiel’s actually a bastard-child of her mother’s. She’s served with her bio-father in Dominion and they both put the clues together there. Her bio-father she thinks is a stupid, irresponsible piece of shit and she hates that her mother ‘betrayed’ someone (her father) that she thinks is the absolute bees-knees (especially since this was found out well-after her dad died)

A bad memory would, hands-down, be Thanidiel confronting bio-father + her mother during that time. A good memory would be something carefree, along the lines of hunting alongside her father and their comrades in the wilderness.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Thanidiel is an uneducated shitlord. She never went to school but she did teach herself how to read and write starting around 15 and worked at it super religiously to reach the vocabulary, penmanship, etc., that she does today. She knows a high-enough level of mathematics for military-logistics that she’s picked up over the decades as well. History and basic magical theory is something she’s picked up on by listening or nosing for information in the way she usually does.

Everything else, she can mildly extrapolate upon since she’s pretty observational + smart by her own right or she just outright asks people because she isn’t very embarrassed by it with the basics down.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

No pets as a child. She likes animals a lot in her own reserved way.

As an adult, she’s had multiple horses of different stocks for various utilities. She’s also had a pair of two hunting mastiffs at one point before the Second War hit Quel’thalas. She’s probably mildly considering a dog or two again.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Thanidiel is neutral towards children though nice enough. Children seem to be okay with her from roleplaying interactions I’ve had lmao. She’s probably be a shitty caretaker; very emotionally neglectful, likely.

12. What is their favourite food?

Sausage rolls! Delicious and a very rare treat for her relatively when she forages a lot of food or relies on rations. She’s happy to fill herself on them if baked goods are around.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

I’ve headcanoned food-related stuff by Thanidiel a lot. It comes up in roleplay sometimes; I imagine that working for so many years as an outrider to really inhospitable places in the Outlands lends to starvation a lot of the time.

It’s come up as a specific memory a few times in rp that she’s had to eat snake, blood and all, from under rocks in Hellfire as a way to keep going + hydrated. This lends to her being very indiscriminate with food usually and having tour-goggles for kinda shit cooking because she’s just happy to not be starving - such as overly moist rice.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

This isn’t so much a collection but I feel like it applies; as I’ve mentioned to you before, Thanidiel… logs every single day of her life since she was like, 14-15. She probably fills out another journal every 2/3s of a year and it ends up in this massive collection in a closet somewhere.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Thanidiel does not participate in really any artistic activities like this. However, I imagine she knows quite a few songs from war in elven and human cultures and she doesn’t hate it. She’ll join in.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

No.

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

Thanidiel doesn’t exactly bitch but she will say outright where she stands with someone and doesn’t care about making sure it’s positive or negative to anyone that asks/it comes up.

She usually insults people for being cowardly or hypocritical. For specific insults… it’s kind of tailored to the person. She calls cowardly people candy-asses, @dorksworn she refers to Caeliri as a ‘Cherub,’ which isn’t that positive lmao, Bricini, a ‘brat,’ etc..

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

No snoring, on her back. She prefers hard/firmer mattresses. I imagine her sleep schedule to be a bit similar to mine in that she will wake up periodically (more out of paranoia) every 1-2 hours until about 6:00 AM or maybe even 8:00 AM on a ‘lazy day.’

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Placid, calm. Quieter. Her happiness is something that expresses itself along the lines of the way that a bull or an old dog will express its contentment.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Honestly I really can’t think of any situation that would scare Thanidiel or imagine what she would be like scared. A situation can unsettle her, make her sad, angry, etc., but I don’t think she’d feel tangible fear.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

She tries to exercise every morning. Go figure. She’s about the same regardless but I imagine if she goes a while without exercise she kind of dies a little spiritually from how antsy she gets; people saw this a little bit when she was in and out of the Infirmary for a while.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Masculine dress; vests, trousers, shirts, tunics, boots, etc., is her preference. She’s honestly surprisingly classy and gets everything fitted at expensive-ass tailors if it’s like… her social wardrobe. The sleeveless shirts, tunics and trousers etc she wears on deployment or otherwise not fancy-ass activities are just as grungy as could be imagined.

She wears tunics or nothing to sleep. Her hair is almost always in a quick bun. If it’s out of the bun, it’s really curled from the containment.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

I place her at a 160-170lb range. 5’10. Think Serena Williams type of physique. She doesn’t consider her body much and thus doesn’t have any body-image opinions. It��s her. She’s fine with that.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

She’s an alright singer. Won’t offend people’s ears. For hobbies… she hunts. She probably whittles shit from time to time. Fighting. She’s good at sewing and fletching. Likes to go horse-riding.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Thanidiel respects strength, pragmatism and self-confidence above all, probably obviously. Maybe less obviously, she really, really, really enjoys irreverence from other people.

I find it hard to consider on if there’s any talents she wishes she had. She’s pretty happy with herself and her capabilities as a person. She’d probably like to be better with a bow than she is; she can hit something but that’s all that can be said.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Thanidiel has no need for stimulants along those lines. She only drinks from Bricini’s flask because it annoys the other woman, to be quite honest. Or she can’t be assed to get water.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

TO DEFEND AND SUPPORT THE AGENDA OF QUEL’THALAS TO HER DYING BREATH THROUGH ANY MEANS POSSIBLE AS SEEN FIT BY THE THALASSIAN STATE, OR OTHERWISE HERSELF REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

On a side note, she has had a bit of a goal going on to do honor to those that were once close to her. I’m still feeling out how she feels about it now especially after @stormandozone ‘s tarot reading.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

Answered in another prompt you’ve sent me.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

Thanidiel either makes the first impression of being an absolute fucking asshole to the mega-max or of being a storybook image of a soldier. Both of these first-impressions suit her quite well.

Along these lines, she will either introduce herself in a very gallant fashion via letter or in the aftermath of an heroic deed, in a completely impetuous fashion such as her introduction to @azriah ‘s Kaltaia, or completely bully your character if there’s something about them that she doesn’t like.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

Thanidiel doesn’t really like parties but how she feels about individual ones is a hit or a miss. She’s very used to the song and dance of them though since she’s probably forced to attend a military gala at least once a year. She stands to the side usually and will rarely dance unless asked/expected to. If there are any competitions or debates, however, that’ll draw her attention right-fast.

If she’s there with comrades, she’ll stick to them. If she comes alone/is separated, she’ll turn on a gregarious switch for a bit to find some entertainment for herself.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Hand-and-a-Half Sword

Saxe Knife

Waterskin

Extra Boots

Fur Cloak

Flint and Tinder

Rope

Triage Kit

@jessipalooza

[weeklyhumorist]

If the National Parks Responded to Real One-Star Reviews

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Diane F. from Mesa, AZ; review of Glacier: Worse trip I had. Yellowstone is so much better. This is just a lot of burnt areas and mountains. Very long uneventful day. Would really consider telling someone else to go spend 30. 

  Dear Diane: Thanks for your review and breathtaking typos. Those burnt out areas are because YOU HUMAN MOTHER FUCKERS LIKE TO SET SHIT ON FIRE. We don’t want to be bald like your husband, Al. We want to be lush like the earth was before you humans overpopulated it.

  P.S. We told Yellowstone what you said about us and they said you’re no longer welcome there. The next time you pull up to their gate, there’ll be a big sign that reads: “DIANE F. FROM MESA HATES MOUNTAINS AND IS CHEAP.” Yellowstone said they’ll have a pasta pass from Olive Garden waiting for you in exchange for never stepping foot in a national park again. 

  Alexa R. from Buffalo, NY; review of Badlands: I didn’t see what the big deal was. We drove a million years to see some semi impressive rock formations? And there were RATTLESNAKES everywhere? Dumb. You lose cell service because you’re in Nowhere USA. The only thing bad about these lands is entire experience. Waste of time. Thank god I was drunk in the backseat for the majority of the trip. 

  Dear Alexa: Thanks for noticing the large amount of rattlesnakes on our land. We purposely rounded up every rattlesnake we could find and released them in the Badlands to scare off visitors—particularly ones from Buffalo. We’ve found that people from NY become confused and frightened when west of the Mississippi River and we do our best to eliminate these weak humans from the planet. Sadly, it looks like you survived. Dumb.   

  Penny M. from San Francisco, CA; review of Yosemite: Absolutely LOVE Yosemite …BUT a new policy has just been put in place, if you don’t have your ID with you, even if you’re a grandparent, you will not be served a glass of wine, no exceptions!!! This is beyond ridiculous and incredibly awkward, if we all complain, policies can be changed. 

  Dear Penny: We’re sorry you weren’t able to get wasted around your grandkids at our park. We know how disappointing it is to be sober while traveling with 6 little shitheads who are pissed off their cell phones don’t work even though they’re standing next to a natural wonder. Believe us—if we were human and not public land for people to enjoy—we would get wasted because of your grandkids too.  

  Jorbi P. from Somerville, MA; review of Grand Canyon: Whoopity do, Grand Canyon. You are a giant hole in the ground. You don’t have roller coasters or dippin’ dots. Jeeesh. Can you say “overrated?”

  Dear Jorbi: Thanks for your review. If our 1,900-mile canyon is not adventurous enough for you, please, let us dangle your snively ass over the South Rim while you piss your pants and yell out for your mama. (Speaking of your mom, she called us and told us you’re a giant hole too.) BTW–Dippin’ Dots are for children who enjoy eating packing peanuts.

  Mike J. from Lexington, KY; review of Great Smoky Mountains: Don’t waste your time spending money to go to any place around or in these mountains between May and August. It rains and he severe thunderstorms everyday and almost all of the day. At least at a beach it rains for 20 minutes and stops. This place is beautiful, but not a great trip due to crappy weather that plagues the area. Won’t be back ever again.

  Dear Mike: We appreciate the review and will take into consideration THAT WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE FUCKING WEATHER. Hey, why can’t any of you spell or use proper grammar? We are land—physical land with zero education or even a brain—and we can write better than you humans. Enjoy being basic at the beach with your basic family and basic 2,000-calorie frozen margaritas and diarrhea seafood buffets.

Kahil G. form Bethesda, MD; review of Yellowstone: The problem with Yellowstone is that it’s dull. Yellowstone is on a caldera. A caldera is a volcano that blew up and left a crater. The dirt from this is of poor quality. The only tree that grows is this ugly thing called a lone pine. No flowers to speak of grow here. The last thing is once you see water come out of the ground once your good. 

  Dear Kahil: We’re sorry our 2 million-year-old land is not exciting. You know we can explode at any time and wipe out the majority of America, right? Also, we have over 55 flowers and seven trees, and none of them are called a lone pine, dude. Where the hell did you even get that from? We’re starting to think you’re making shit up. Geysers that shoot water 100 feet in the air don’t impress you, Kahil? What does impress you? And don’t tell us Starbucks and hotel rooms with TVs because we’ve heard that shit before. If we had a fucking dime for every time a human said they missed their Starbucks and TVs, we wouldn’t have to ask you fuckers for $30 at the gate because your RVs and cigarettes and 10 children named Madison and Chad destroy our land. 

  Steve D. from Las Vegas, NV; review of Zion: Been here 3 times and it’s the last. What a joke. I had to pull over 3 times on my bike to let the Californians get to work on time. What’s the hurry? To get to the next crowded view point? Can’t get to the Red lodge to get ice cream unless you have a red sticker or ride the trolley. WAY over rated. My guess is the people that love this place never get out much. 

  Dear Steve: We’re sorry you won’t be visiting us anymore. Just kidding. We don’t give a shit. Can we ask you something? Why is that none of you can construct a goddamn sentence? And why is that you all love ice cream so much? And what Californians are you referring to? There are no Californians commuting to work through Zion National Park in Utah, Steve. Funny thing: The people who enjoy our park DO get out. They’re hiking and talking with fellow travelers and not bitching about imaginary Californians or lack of access to ice cream. If you’re looking for less crowds and more ice cream, check out the Dairy Queen off rt. 9.

    If the National Parks Responded to Real One-Star Reviews was originally published on Weekly Humorist