#KNOWING WHATLL FUCKING HAPPENED
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I watched Evil Dead Rise last night and I’m in love with Danny. God I need to be sedated. Bridget’s so fucking pretty, I can’t even. Ellie’s fucking gorgeous. At least we know who the kids got their god genetics from. Beth was so hot covered in blood. I was very worried for Kassie the whole time, poor kid 💔
#hiro talks! ♡#evil dead rise#danny evil dead rise#evil dead rise danny#bridget evil dead rise#evil dead rise bridget#ellie evil dead rise#evil dead rise ellie#beth evil dead rise#evil dead rise beth#kassie evil dead rise#evil dead rise kassie#this whole family is attractive#kassies so cute though#I was worried for this whole family#wanted the kids to survive so bad ✊💔#I was watching with my dad and he kept insulting danny for opening the book#and playing the records#like I get you know what happens#but the teenager doesn’t so relax#besides ash is even more dumb#cause he did TWICE#KNOWING WHATLL FUCKING HAPPENED#all cause he was high#🧍♀️🧍♀️🧍♀️#anyway#I’m gonna go read fanfics on danny and bridget and ellie#and beth#hope there’s a fic where I’m playing hide and seek with kassie#I wanna bond with her
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everyone shut the fuck up and look at whats happening in the project sekai fandom right now. the previously "transfem (heavily heavily implied)" character is
wait okay spoilers for mizu5 event. read at own risk (if youre in the fandom) and if youre not um fucking hit read more RIGHT NOW
okay. so the previously "transfem (heavily heavily implied)" character is now "transfem (LITERALLY UNMISTAKABLY canon)". THIS IS 3 (EN) OR 4 (JP) YEARS WORTH OF BUILDUP FINALLY COMING TO FRUITION AND ITS SO FUCKING. GRRRAAHH
THIS IS THE MIZUKI 4* FOR THE EVENT. THE CARD IS TITLED "What Has Been Lost"
AND THE OTHER CARDS (KANADE, MAFUYU, ENA) HAVE THE CHARACTERS WEARING OUTFITS THAT ARE MOSTLY/ENTIRELY WHITE. SYMBOLIZING MOURNING.
READ THE STORY TRANSLATION LISTEN TO THE SONG ("Bake no Hana") READ THE LYRICS FUCKING TRY TO UNDERSTAND HOW EXTREME THIS SHIT IS.
this is like 9/11 to me
#mizu5#mizuki5#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#kanade yoisaki#yoisaki kanade#mafuyu asahina#asahina mafuyu#ena shinonome#shinonome ena#proseka#pjsk#project sekai#let me be clear. mizuki fucking disappears after this#like normally characters can be found in some locations in the game world having conversations#mizuki is fucking gone. they fucking stop appearing in the real world after u see the story.#and they lose the light in their eyes in the fucking character level screen.#its temporary but it isn't stated how long itll be before they come back. so we dont know whatll happen#so it has to be one of the next nightcord focus events but. nobody knows when that is. or which event. literally no fucking clue.#like itll probably last AT LEAST a real life month but ALMOST CERTAINLY longer than that. no words can describe my emotions right now. FUCK#i think i have to kill myself (/joking)#i feel like im getting kicked jn the fucking dick a thousand times in a row#never ask a mizuki fan what happened october 12 2024#important post
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reblog after you answer i guess 😙
#not for broadcast#ch bullshit#now me personally...#i wanna know whatll happen in the train car#would love to do the limo though but i cannawt pass on the possible fucked up atrocities that would happen on the train
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I'm still so mad that August Kitko was such a mid book and like I would go do far as to say maybe it was bad but it's likely it just wasn't for me.
And then I read Hell Followed With Us and realize hey now... there's a lot of similarities between these two books and wow i am enjoying this other book way more. I almost want to dig into that and figure out why. Can you ever dislike something so much you want to take a scalpel to it and dissect it to find the bloody heart? Yeah that's what I'm feeling with August Kitko... it kinda sucks but I need to know why it makes me so mad.
#cat rambles#both books are about queer people at the end of the world#both are written by trans authors and yet the queerness is handled so differently#i just.... hell followed with us manages to really get into the world building and it feels alive despite most of hunanity being dead#akatmfs just... it feels so surface level and the more i think about thst book the more pissed off i get#i really wanted to like it SO BADLY AND YET I AM JUST SEETHING#i did finish akatmfs and i was just disaappinted at the ending#there are moments in hell followed with us that made me shriek out loud like OH SHIT ya know???#i like it when authors do interesting things with their medium#andrew joseph white does that so well with the spirit bears its teeth and with hell followed with us#ann leckie also does this well just with how she writes the characters and differing perspectives#akatmfs just.... even with two main characters it just doesnt do anything interesting with that#LIKE FUCK okay#chapter 1 is from gus's pov which is good! then chapter 2 is all from ardent's persepctive iirc#thats cool!!! i like different povs but then it just starts changing pov in the middle of yhe chapter and that just.... okay i guess#i thought you were setting up this cool rhing IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO COOL#theres a part where gus gets kocked the fuck out#imagine if instead of having thet dull ass conversation with Infinite the chapter was just kike a single line of him passed out and then we#snap back to ardent#THAT WOULD BE THRILLING#THAT WOULD BE SUSPENSEFUL BC WE DONT KNOW WHATLL HAPPEN TO GUS#but no we get thus dumb ass concersation between gus and infinite that i just disnt care for#i read it all and god i just rolled my eyes becasue of course the book reveals the mystery of where the Vanguards cane from so fast#maybe i just gotta write an essay about this idk#i have thoughts
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KNIGHT I GOT ANOTHER AU IDEA FOR THE CHAMPIONS
You ever watched Final Destination? Or any of its sequels? Anyways if you haven’t, it’s pretty much starts with a group of people getting into an accident and all of them dying with the main character seeing everyone’s death before dying themselves. But then the MC “wakes up” a couple of minutes before the accident happens, they make a scene and scare the people in that group into getting away from the accident, saving their lives. But then they all start dying in the order the MC saw because Death is coming for them
Anyways, for this AU we’re gonna ignore the last sentence cause it wouldn’t work with this AU. I just needed something for an example
For this AU idk who we’re going to make the “Main Character” whether it be one of our favourites, Diantha or Iris, or one of the other champions?
Or maybe even ALL of the champions saw their deaths? Idk you can chose your favourite
But yeah, the scenario I had was either the Villain teams from each region kidnap and kill the champions in a show of power, to say that even the strongest trainers cannot stop them, or a Pokémon causes mass destruction around the world and none of the Champions would stop it
For the first scenario if we go with it, I imagine the villain teams teamed up with each other to form Rainbow Rocket, and decided to announce their alliance by killing the champions and declaring the world is THEIRS to rule
Like they sent grunts and admins to attack the cities where the Champions live. I fully believe the Champions are capable of winning this fight but for people like Lance, Cynthia, and Iris, they have family living in the same city/town. I bet they used that to their advantage and went after Drayden, Clair, and Cynthia’s sister and practically used them as a shield. Told the champions to surrender and mocked them for choosing to save their family over the thousands of people they could be saving instead
So yeah, they all eventually get kidnapped one way or another and get killed by Team Rainbow Rocket. But then they wake up a few days before it happens with the knowledge of what’s to come within the next days
But idk, it’s 11:00pm and if you have a better scenario then I’d love to hear it. Or if this makes much sense lmao
Ohhhhh👀👀👀
No shit I and my friends only saw some of the death scenes in those films lol and we watched it in the school's library back then during our elementary years hahahah it was an experience man, surprising we didn't get caught especially w how gory it was hahaha
But damn that's cool tho👀👀 low-key that reminds me of the rebellion au where the champions died, but at least in this au they could somewhat stop the threat instead of just dying like that bc they were caught off guard or luck just weren't on their side
But that's gotta fuck em up tho having to dream abt their deaths or at least being in that kinda position, having to decide which is more important, their family or the people of their region/the world
But like yknow, imagine too bc if that came to them as a dream, just how much of it will they actually believe?? I haven't watched any of the films btw so like spare me if some of the stuff I say doesn't fit hahah but y'know, some aren't even sure if it's truly a premonition of their deaths, or if it's just a bad dream and nothing more. Cause maybe some of them were sceptical abt it, maybe they were just being paranoid y'know, but it's also a bit of a wake up call that yeah they have to deal with the evil orgs as soon as possible lest the nightmare turns to a reality, and they'd rather not risk that
They'd be so paranoid tho real, like, imagine Lance being more desperate to find Rocket and finally put an end to them, he's losing sleep bc of it, looking at every nook and cranny on both Johto and Kanto; Steven and Wallace didn't think Aqua and Magma would be such a threat, Sootopolis became so heavily guarded now, the orbs were with Wallace; Cynthia's like really stressed out man, making sure Dawn and Barry doesn't get involved and coming in terms her childhood friend is probs really gonna kill her if she doesn't stop him; Iris became more adamant on stopping Plasma too, almost as desperate as Lance, but there's also that fear that maybe if she leaves Opelucid to hunt down Plasma smth might happen to Drayden; Diantha is also stressed af my guy, if smth happens to her brother, that's really gonna be her villain origin story and if anything, she'll dragb Lysandre to hell with her; Hau's not sure how to approach it too cause y'know, Lusamine is his friends' mother, what whould Gladion and Lillie even say, I mean tbf their relationship w Lusamine isnt all that well anyways, but still, maybe he'd be more cautious now; Leon already had a bad feeling abt Rose, so now he's making sure Hop and Gloria doesn't get too close to the chairman, if whats in his dreams are true, then he has to find the legendary wolves too, and who else knows more abt it than Sonia; Idk what kinda stuff Geeta would have to deal w anyways, maybe the AI profs?? But that'd be dope tho if they become somewhat sentient enough and like, idk, hc that Geeta and Sada/Turo aren't in good terms, and like the AI got corrupted maybe?? Not sure w this one hahah
But man that's dope, like, the paranoia y'know, having to see in great detail just how they're gonna die, and if not them, then their loved ones, or even the people of their region
#real quick tho but the image of leon and sonia w zamazenta and zacian is dope jckxjd#look sorry but im lionheart trash okay chdnxbxn#lowkey just wanna change my hcs abt leon and sonia bc theyre soooooo yknow#anyways#i did like.. thought that maybe dia is the only one who dreamt of the deaths#bc its been a while since i last made dia angst hahahah#next was iris bc ofc main charac moment plus yknow all the iris angst imagine her being so paranoid#cause she knows whatll happen to the other champions to herself and to her friends and family#and if shes the only one who knows abt it imagine how thatd really fuck her up bc she cant be everywhere all at once to help#ough your honour cjmdbdkd#this is dope cjmddb hahaha#pokemon au#pokemon champions#an ask and an answer#jerseyk112
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slept for like 20 hours and im still exhausted :( also had multiple incredibly vivid dreams that haunt me still. apparently this is what happens when i forget to take my meds lol
#personal spewage#if im being honest i actually cant remember when i took them last#my sleep has been so fucked up and i was trying to make them last longer by stretching the time between doses#bc i was almost out of one and i Did Not Want to have to go get it refilled#but alas#now i know whatll happen if i stop taking my meds ig#ill just. sleep forever#so basically back to what life was like before i started taking them slfjsdkksd
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will breach my contract if i discuss this on my twt but um <3
#im still . nervous to talk abt tgis bc i dont Understand Anyrhing and im fucking Terrified#like . So Terrified. of how i feel n . ruining Something#n i know yhsts the Entire Lesson i have to learn rn also <3#but idk how to just stop being afraid bc idk what im even rlly afraid of .#but theres a boy on my couch. and i dont Like ? what . all of this is doing ti me#i gotta say he smells really fjcking good n its Killing Me. like i spent a good 20minutes dorcing#myssld.to Focus on what he was saying bx . all i could thibk abt eas how good he actually smwlt n how#insane ir was making me n what i was feeling (dawg . i want him tk fuck me so bad im not even fonna deny it !)#and . i dont . i just#theres So Much Going on i xannot figurs it out but i oddly . have a mhch clearer view as long as That fucker stays away#bc . therss detachment n i want nothing to do w him. but literallt only bc im retalking to . the guy aho#luterally was the 1st person i slept with. so its . uhm.#im . hhhhhhhhhhh abt so mhch rn im gonna be real and i just .#idk what to do abt any of this and im just . okay !#anyway im scared of whatll happen when he wakes up bc this placd is awful <3#i mean im gonna try n clean some of it today before i Go Out#theres a 6hr window i can clean in. watch what i can get done <3#but fuck man. hes actived so much of my old negativs traits#that its not like i forget they existed its just . i forgot how bad n deeo this shit could run#bc its not smth ive been faced with In a While . ik im obsessive but this is a new level ro it but one i am familar with#like all of this im feeling rn ive walked this patg before . its not New . but what is new is my abikity to fucking catch this shit !#and try to Not . do my old fuckign nullshit thinking (bc i cant stop my actions if i cant even stop my rhought patterns. actions will#come later bc i dont act impulisvely inntgjs shit anymore . i am truly reserved <3#but . i dont like how i feel bc i dont get it n i cant ait to talk abt this tmr in theraoy ohhh#ohhhhhhhh my fucking GODDDDD.
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i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list
#its difficult. i used to be rly good abt not doing kms type jokes bc i did when i was younger and then i stopped bc of um . stuff#nd i think it rly was good for me nd then ykw started making them a LOT and now i do them constantly and ik itis bad for me like. as a guy#whos been suicidal since i was 7. yk. ik itisnt good for me but its hard#idk. i need 2 try 2 stop making them again. like idt ppl who make them r evil I personally dont tend to use them very seriously#it rly is judt a like. Ugh something annoying happened i should kms. but like. witht he we should kill connor joke its Less and less a joke#and more just feeding into ummmmm. the bad parts of my thing that i have to be vague abt so ppl dont worry.#Im not planning anything its not that. its just a belief i have that is ummm concerning to many but very comforting to me and keeps me sane#but i dont like 2 talk abt it . bc ppl tend to get worried its rly not anything that bad its judt likeee. I know that thing is true and#there isnt anything i can do to stop it from happening so i made peace with it ages ago and its comforting that i dont have 2 like. worry#abt whatll happen bc ik whatll happen#sry im being vague ive like. i think ive mentioned it a couple times and ppl get very concerned (my old psych literally told me verbatim#That sounds so terrifying.) and likeee. there have been times its scared me a lot like i can remember a few times i woke up having a panic#attack bc i didnt want to do it but i know thats whatll happen and its fine. but it wont be any time soon#it keeps me from doing anything honestly bc like. why rush FJFNFJNFNik itll happen eventually no matter what i do so even when it gets bad#enough i think abt it im like. yk. it helps. i kind of lost a bit of vagueness. please dont worry abt it fr like. it keeps me sane it keeps#me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just#bc like. i have a lot of other stuff abt me i need 2 fix first but i think it would probably be good for me if i stopped. sigh. which suck#bc like its been said time and time again that like. Im going to kms is just like. it encapsulates feelings very well there r like no other#exclamations that fit. aside from the like. Krill my shellfish type things but thats the reason i slipped back into just saying kms in rhe#first place so. UGH. and theres so many fucking stupid tjmblr ones. like no im not going to sub Kys for Go step on a lego >_< bc like... im#not 1. 5 or 2. 27. the 2 ages i think ppl would say shit like that.#sry my vendetta against 27 year olds is neverending idk i just dont like whatever happens to tumblr users of dhat age. ive mentioned it#several times inwont go into it and im probably near out of tags anyway#ive got 7 more spend em wisely one supposes. idk. its just difficult. ik its judt words and shit and im sure i cn come up with good#alternatives. theres judt like not any rhat r like the same vibe without also reinforcing My stuff in an unhealthy way. idk. idkk#like not that making kms jokes is gonna make me do it anytime soon but like yk . ik i cant blame my self loathing spike on this alone#bc ive like. Beeeeeeeen going through some stuff thats contributing way more#but i do think before i started making these jokes again my self loathing and like. rhe amt of time i thought abt it was less . idk#sui ment#<- jic i tried not to be like. too much. but you know
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Being a big blog seems scary I've gotten one person misinterpreting a post and it is incredibly annoying
#like ok buddy im sure thats whatll happening.#like man. i dont give a fuck 99% of the time and i know how to curate my own experience.#i just have a problem with people doing x and claiming that no its not x actually#it gets annoying sometimes#mb's two am rambling
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JESUS CHRIST
funfact: so far this year, i have almost beat the total amount of minutes listened i had in 2022! march isnt even over yet!
#extra funfact: 49k minutes is roughly 34 full days (as seen above)! there have been 85 days in 2024 so far#can u see why this is fucking with me a bit... like. whuh?? i know i listen to a lot of music but i didnt realize it was THAT much#like hooooly shit n balls#i was wondering if i could beat my total minutes in 2023 (127k) but at this rate its not even a question 😭 that prev record is going DOWN#this is gonna be wild asf to share at the end of the year with my (relatively) normal friends...#everyone was shitting their pants at my >100k from last year.. idek whatll happen with the very real possibility that i get around 200k
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HAMILTON SONG. JUST GOT STUCK IN NMY HEAD. FOR NO GODDAMN REA9SN. im havign such violent ancient thoughts rn but its fucking 1 am. i dont think descent is happy that rivers is being indoctrinated so forcefully but i mean you had a baby with a high counsill9r dude Genuinely what did you expect
she goes up to flowers after and is like "hey i would prefer if you dont insinuate to our like 6-7 year old son that hes going to die" and flowers responds w something like "im just being realistic if hes at risk of dying he should know whatll happen whne he does" "if he does" "yeah okay if he does whatever my point is i dont want huim to die but i will not raise an ignorant fool hes gonna know the stakes of life" and she cant really do anything about it because her husband, yknow, Is The Government
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if the world ends i might say fuck it and take all of my fics off anon tbh, even the bad ones, even the morally dubious ones, even the unfinished ones, because hey if trump gets signed right up who knows whatll happen to Ao3 if anything
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Glimpse of you
Or, let's talk about an au where enid plans to fucking dominate this school she's forced to go too for a chance to see Wednesday again
(aka the og draft of the military school au where enid wouldn't have gotten a support system but is rather left desperate and threathening)
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Here's the thing, it's been three or so months into the school year before it got abruptly cut short due to crackstone. A semester takes five months and there's two of them in a school year. All of that makes ten months to finish.
It was close to a year before Enid could see Wednesday again. Twelve months, it's nearly been that long and Enid feels like she's about to go insane.
Two months of winter, stuck in the hell that is her home before getting shipped to some private pretentious school for five more months to finish her sophomore year. She's surprised she didn't lose her sanity when she spent two months of summer back in San Fran. Luckily, it took one month of her first semester to finally clear the clouds and with it, her mind.
Honestly, Enid hasn't been paying attention during her time in this up stuck school and to think it was the word Nevermore that catches her attention.
It's enough to snap her into reality and before she knows it, she's grabbing onto another student's arm and dragging the both of them away from the crowd. Her grip is tight, unforgiving and if one were to look closer, begging.
"what's happening," she asks, uncaring of the way they shake. Her teeth bares and they still, clamming up and freezing. Good. "what's this about nevermore?"
This school is secretive for a reason, secluded and a private class all on its own. The best place to take care of werewolves! The school claims. The thought makes Enid rolls her eyes. Dramatic, she'd bet Wednesday would've burnt this school to the ground if she could.
Anyways, the school is private with a capital P. Which makes news from the outside hard to reach. Well, that is unless you out in some effort. Effort that Enid clearly hasn't done, much to her irritation.
"s-sinclair!" they cry out and Enid blinks before giving a tiny apologetic look when she realized her claws dug into their skin. It's fine, theyll heal. "the poe cup - They've been sent an invite. There's just a ruckus because they haven't accepted before!"
Enid clicks her tongue and her grip tightens.
"that's it?" she says, tilting her head. "nothing about participants?"
Their head shakes before they pause for a second and with a hesitant voice, they continued. "I've heard that an Addams might join."
It's enough to make enid bring them close with a growing smile on her face. In turn, the wolf in her hands turn pale and their breathing frantic.
"really?" Enid breathes and oh is that wonderful news. "an Addams?" Wednesday, it must be Wednesday.
It has to be.
They nod immediately, their head tilting back and baring their neck for her to see. "yes! Yknow that nevermore are desperate for sponsors with all the bad rep they have now-"
Enid growls, deep and rumbling from her chest. Immediately they shut up, a whine leaving their throat. She may not be in that school, not anymore but she grew up there and that means something.
When a whimper leaves their pathetic throat, her nails finally let go with a shlick. They stumble back, their hands clammy and their shoulders shaking. Yet even then, they stay.
Good. They know whatll happen when they run.
There's an anger burning in her stomach because no, she does not know anything about nevermore.
"tell me," she starts, wiping off their remains at her pants. "when does this Poe cup start?"
The answer she hears is wonderful.
Two months.
Two more months until she can meet Wednesday again.
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SORRY i cant stop talking about it but ohhh its so crazy to mean so much to someone especially when that person is so loved by everyone in their community.
he was so sure he'd never find love again after everything and so this happening is the biggest deal in the world to him. and he knows everyone and everyone seems to know how badly he'd been hurt AND they all know about me now so i walk into a place and people realize who i am and they start acting like i'm jesus. and my GOD does he love to talk about me. he was telling me today that he was talking to his drummer about just how much he loves me and his drummer said smth to the effect of "yeah man. we can tell" and its just. wow. WOW. he put his coat on today and found his solar eclipse glasses in the pocket and asked if i wanted them and i said "if i take them whatll you wear to the 2026 eclipse in reykjavik?" and he said "you wanna go? you wanna make 2026 plans?" smiling wide as fuck. im trying to stay focused on the present and not get lost in the past or future, but when i peek ahead i just dont see this stopping. maybe im insane, maybe its just the honeymoon phase of a good thing thats getting me all dreamy, but ive got a feeling about this. i could be wrong, but i also dont think im the only one feeling it. i mean he bought me my own toothbrush to keep at his house and last night we sat in bed eating chinese food w no pants on watching the running man w arnold schwarzenegger
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Bubble anon again!
Alastor, since you have a potentially deadly disease, on the off chance if you do pass, are you curious on whatll happen to you? As Angel said, Do ya think you'll go to "Double Hell?"
Get well soon, and be nice to your boyfriends and making it more harder for them than it needs to be >:/
"I am not going to die from this. And I only have one boyfriend. Though even that may soon be up for debate after this ordeal."
"Oh, fuck off. You're not gonna break up with me for taking care of you, and we both know it."
#bubble anon#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#vox#hazbin hotel vox#AV#VRS2#hazbin hotel#ask blog#hazbin hotel ask blog#rp blog#hazbin hotel rp blog#hazbin hotel roleplay
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i cant take it anymore. its too painful and i have nothing but suffering thats all i feel and its always been hopeless
i have NOTHING, no one at all to live for .. the one i lost i dont even .. i dont even know if i want her back, although i know we will never meet or talk ever agaib. its already been years. its hard when the person is your fp or.. ex fp.. the feelings that are overwhelming stay but at the same time i have so much anger and despair for what she did. i wish it never happened i had no control over it and i hate it, i HATE HER . SHES THE WORST and never cared like i did, even though we had such a strong bond.. to her it was normal friendship which by the end disapeared.. not for me. because my fucking fucked up head isnt like everyone elses and so im left all alome all i have is suffering, nothing will ever be good enough anymore. i doubt i could even feel that ever again.. i hate her too. i wish i never met her, because otherwise atleast i couldve not known what that felt like. to have an fp. someone who is the entire world for me and i couldnt do shit about it . all i can think of is memories and mourn it . but i also hate her and in one way do not care or wish to EVER meet her again- which again will never happen anyway.. i just feel so fucking empty and have forever but it gets worse the older i get. i cant feel ANYTHING FOR LIFE let alone others now. im living for no reason at all. every part of the day is just empty, void depression and deep bored and loneliness. nothing and no one can fill that anymire either, i knew that when i had gone to college (for a few months until i dropped out and left those great friends id made) because it didnt make me feel ok and i couldnt handle it , i left as always. so i never have anybody. and when i try and form a conmection with stra gers , just to feel sometthing - i feel absolutely nothing at all . nothing now. all i do id hate myself and stuck in my head.
i never want a family i dont care about love anymore or anything and all i feel is that deep empty, despairing feeling and its unBEARABLE .. every fucking day. all i can do is repeat that in my mind and breakdown because what else am i able to do except die? but aside from my anxiety about that, even dying doesnt sound good anymore.. because what will happen? i feel i wont go to heaven because i quit church because of the horrible _thing there. i dont really care abput anything.. except my dog but that isnt enough to make me able to get through when everythings missing and IT ALWAYS WILL BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS. HAVE THIS MENTAL ILLNESS, BPD, AND MAJOR DEPRESSION WITH ANXIETY AND OTHER SHIT THAT RUINED EVERYTHING. ive tried SO hard. so fuckinh hard everyday its torture it always has been but its gotten worse to the point i can hardly think i just feel like an empty shell and the pain is like nothing else. i dont know whatll happen if i die, but whatever happens it should be better than this.. if not, i cant escape it itll come on its own if i dont. so i should just do it. no one cares anyway and i dont either
im just so heartbroken and what i fucking had to be and what my life hd to be. its not fair and nobody except others like me know what this is like.
i cant do it guys its harder and harder and i cant carry on i swear to god
#VENT#t/w sui#i give up i swear to god its unbearable and all i do is stay and its hell pure hell#i think im going to order a big bxctr this time. i have a noose but i dont get privacy much which is why i dont#because im scared theyll catch me and then its even worse
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