#n i know yhsts the Entire Lesson i have to learn rn also <3< /div>
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
will breach my contract if i discuss this on my twt but um <3
#im still . nervous to talk abt tgis bc i dont Understand Anyrhing and im fucking Terrified#like . So Terrified. of how i feel n . ruining Something#n i know yhsts the Entire Lesson i have to learn rn also <3#but idk how to just stop being afraid bc idk what im even rlly afraid of .#but theres a boy on my couch. and i dont Like ? what . all of this is doing ti me#i gotta say he smells really fjcking good n its Killing Me. like i spent a good 20minutes dorcing#myssld.to Focus on what he was saying bx . all i could thibk abt eas how good he actually smwlt n how#insane ir was making me n what i was feeling (dawg . i want him tk fuck me so bad im not even fonna deny it !)#and . i dont . i just#theres So Much Going on i xannot figurs it out but i oddly . have a mhch clearer view as long as That fucker stays away#bc . therss detachment n i want nothing to do w him. but literallt only bc im retalking to . the guy aho#luterally was the 1st person i slept with. so its . uhm.#im . hhhhhhhhhhh abt so mhch rn im gonna be real and i just .#idk what to do abt any of this and im just . okay !#anyway im scared of whatll happen when he wakes up bc this placd is awful <3#i mean im gonna try n clean some of it today before i Go Out#theres a 6hr window i can clean in. watch what i can get done <3#but fuck man. hes actived so much of my old negativs traits#that its not like i forget they existed its just . i forgot how bad n deeo this shit could run#bc its not smth ive been faced with In a While . ik im obsessive but this is a new level ro it but one i am familar with#like all of this im feeling rn ive walked this patg before . its not New . but what is new is my abikity to fucking catch this shit !#and try to Not . do my old fuckign nullshit thinking (bc i cant stop my actions if i cant even stop my rhought patterns. actions will#come later bc i dont act impulisvely inntgjs shit anymore . i am truly reserved <3#but . i dont like how i feel bc i dont get it n i cant ait to talk abt this tmr in theraoy ohhh#ohhhhhhhh my fucking GODDDDD.
0 notes