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Leyna Bloom [Paris, 2022]

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Tyra Allure (Dominique Jackson) at Miss Continental (2002)

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Icons Meeka Prodigy vs Marquis Revlon [2004]

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Layla 🅱️almain @ Westside High House Ball 2021

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Chosen, not imposed: queerness, family, and representation

Too often reduced to just sexuality and gender identity, queerness encompasses much more than that. Queerness has to do with non-normativity: with questioning, defying, and refusing to fulfill the norms, roles, and expectations that are imposed on us since before we are even born. This includes sexuality and gender, but also covers fashion, non-sexual relationships, beauty standards, art, media …

Queerness is about being true to oneself despite the pressures and violence of the extremely rigid cis-hetero-patriarchal colonial system we live in.

The very existence of queer people lays bare the arbitrary and fragile nature of that system.

And that’s why queerness is such a threat to those who benefit from those arbitrary rules. 

One of the pillars of that system is the concept of “nuclear family”: a married cisheterosexual couple and their biological children—also cishet, of course. Other family configurations are considered “dysfunctional”, “incomplete” or “not real” and actively punished and discriminated against.  

There is no space for queer people in the nuclear family, which too frequently leads to suffering, estrangement, and even abuse and homelessness. Too many young people are kicked out or must leave their ostensible families for being queer.

Family is created, not inherited.

As with almost everything else in life, queer people have had to expand and create their own definition of family. One that goes beyond marriage and biology to be based on love, care, and mutual support. Family is who you care for and who cares for you. Family does not reject you, family embraces you. Family is not blood.

For many queer people family is created, not inherited. “Houses” in the ballroom scene are a good example of this. For decades, queer people have found and taken care of each other; weaving, sewing together, and mending the patchwork quilt that is our community.

Visibility and representation matters. 

Seeing examples of queer and non-normative families in media matters. Families that are friends or roommates, more than two people, romantic but not sexual, trans-generational … Non-normative families are underrepresented and misrepresented in traditional media, where the nuclear family is still presented as the default, preferable option, even for queer characters. We need to see diverse families that go beyond the acceptable white, cis, gay married couple with a cute adopted child.

Media shapes individual and societal perceptions of the real world. Positive portrayals of queer and non-normative families in media can help people in difficult situations find hope and encourage them to seek and build their own chosen families. Similarly, positive portrayals of queer and non-normative families can protect those kinds families in the real world against a system determined to smear and erase them.

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Brooklyn 〽️iyake 〽️ugler @ Westside High House Ball Part 2

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Barbie 🅱️alenciaga @ Westside High House Ball Part 2 2021

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Jamiyah 🅱️almain @ Paragon 10 2021 (10th Anniversary Ball)

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Rylee 🅿️rodigy @ 2021 Philly Nostalgia MiniBall Deluxe

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Tamiyah 007 at the 19th Annual Dorian Corey Awards Ball (2014)

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Axelle (Prodigy) Miyake-Mugler at Philly Vogue Nights (14/11/2018)

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Icon Mother Amazon Leiomy on the set of HBO Max's Legendary. Dress made by Alex Navarro and makeup from Sean Harris [2021]

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Icon Meeka (Ebony) Prodigy Battling in Philly [2000]

Source: Ballroom Throwbacks TV

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Tati Miyake-Mugler for Area [2021]

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Tamiyah (Khan) 007 10s

What's In A Name Ball [DC, 2012]

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natural voice change

Lower

Boom Your Voice

How to deepen your voice naturally

How to talk with a deeper voice 

How to deepen your voice (pre-t) Voice masculinization

Vocal androgyny in speech and singing

This Phone App Helps Transgender Users Change The Pitch And Tone Of Their Voices (buzzfeed article) 

Higher

Voice Feminization

Pitch, range, resonance, depth

How to develop a female voice

Feminine voice techniques