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i-think-i-did-it-again · 2 years ago

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A little clearer II

A/N: I had a request to turn this into a mini series so here is part 2! Enjoy!

Warnings: swearing, drinking, drugs

6 months later

From that first night together, you were hooked. Colson and you became completely inseparable. Every moment of every day, you thought about him. You found every day tasks hard to focus on because all your mind wanted to do was think about him. Think about his piercing blue eyes, his full pink lips, his bright smile, the sound of his melodic laugh. Then your mind would wander to the feeling of him. The warmth of his body as you nestled against him. The way he always smelt of a mixture of cologne, mint and weed. The way his long arms wrap around your body and make you feel so safe. Listening to him talk about his interests, about his music, about Cassie. You could sit for hours and just listen to the sound of his deep voice, filling your ears.

“Hello, earth to Y/N?” Sophie waves her hand in front of your eyes and you’re immediately snapped back to the world around you. You’re sitting in a cafe, listening to Sophie talk about a party she’s hosting.

“Sorry, I promise I was listening,” you blush and avoid her eyes. You’ve never been the best liar.

“Ok, repeat back everything I just said?” you sip on your coffee to avoid her question and she bursts out in fits of laughter. “I’m totally kidding but the look on your face was fucking hilarious! What I said was, I've told everyone to come around 9 but I know Kellz will be in the studio until at least 10 so if you want to come earlier and help me set up, that’s cool.”

You try to ignore the fact that you’re annoyed that she seems to know Kellz schedule better than you these days but it does prick up a red flag in the back of your mind. You spent all over yesterday with him and he didn’t once mention going to the studio today or that he was even working or anything new. You don’t want to become that girlfriend that feels the need to know where her boyfriend is every hour of every day but you feel like that should’ve been something he’d mention considering you live together and you’d assumed you were going to the party together. He was still in bed asleep this morning when you left for your girl’s day with Sophie, so it wasn’t like you’d expected him to be going anywhere.

“What’s to set up? You put a bong in one corner, alcohol in the other, play music through your sound system and make sure your bed has fresh sheets for the freaks?”

“Don’t even joke about that! My bed is my sanctuary and my party is a cocktail party so there will definitely be no bong corner, especially after what happened last time.”

***********

After a quick phone call with Colson, where he confirms that he will be in the studio all day, you decide to take Sophie up on her offer and head over to her place around 4pm. At the cafe, she talked you into letting her do your hair, makeup and pick your outfit from something in her closet because according to her, flannel shirts are ‘not proper cocktail attire!’ You shrugged it off because you knew she was only trying to help but it wasn’t like you were looking to impress anyone. You had already found someone that you would happily spend the rest of your life with so why bother putting in so much effort for a bunch of strangers?

Ashleigh showed up no long after you and between the two of them, your head was spinning. It may have also been from the excessive use of hairspray, setting sprays and perfume but the constant yanking from one to the other was full on. Sophie wanted to start your hair first, Ashleigh wanted to start your makeup, Sophie wanted you to pick an outfit, Ashleigh didn’t like any of the outfits picked out. By the third outfit change, you were overheated, dehydrated and completely done.

“Ok, seriously you two, cut it out! I’m done. I want to pick my own clothes, I want to do my makeup my own way and my hair is fucking fine in a ponytail!”

“Sorry honey, we just got a little carried away playing dress ups we kind of forgot you’re an actual human being,” Ashleigh apologises, handing you a cold bottle of water. You gulp down half of it in one go and the room finally stops spinning.

“What do you want to wear?” Sophie asks, holding up a couple of dresses you hadn’t noticed before.

They’re all vastly different styles but somehow all similar in their classiness. The first one that catches your eye is a red, spaghetti strap, silk maxi dress, that’s tight in the bodice and then flares out as it trails down. You actually think you might love it until you notice the slit on the left side. You don’t really like the idea of a slit that leads halfway up your thigh so you shake your head. Sophie tosses it aside and holds up a black sparkly dress. This one is short but has long sleeves. It’s tight fitted without trying too hard but you’re slightly put off by the deep V of the neckline. You look down at your chest and realise you’d probably have to go braless, which would be fine until you had a couple of drinks and were less self-conscious of your boobs falling out. Sophie can immediately tell by your face that the answer would be no and she tosses the dress. She’s left holding the last dress and you fall in love instantly. The dress is a white lace, off the shoulders with a love heart neckline and would sit just above your knees. Pattern of the lace is like tiny roses and you melt at the delicacy of the dress.

“That one,” you utter, your face instantly lighting up.

Within seconds you’re pulling the dress on while Ashleigh grabs the perfect pair of nude heels to go with the dress. Sophie fixes your makeup and gives you a pink nude lipstick to apply to your lips, to match your shoes. You check yourself in the mirror while Sophie and Ashleigh wolf whistle behind you. You blush and shrug them off as you sit on the bed and watch them finish getting themselves ready. You pour yourself a glass of champagne from the bottle that Sophie bought up and sip it while Ashleigh and Sophie fight over the hair straightener. After what feels like forever, they’re finally both ready. For some weird reason, they insist that you walk ahead of them, even though it’s Sophie’s party.

As you walk down the hallway towards the stairs, the sound of hushed voices can be heard and you find it weird that there’s only soft classical music playing in the background. As you reach the balcony of the stairs you stop dead in your tracks. Standing there, surrounded by vase after vase of pink roses and candles, is Colson in a crisp black tux, a huge grin plastered on his face. His usual mess of hair is slicked back and styled away from his face, a single strand falling back over his forehead. As you get closer to him, you look over the landing and realise there’s a large crowd gathered below. A mixture of your friends and family, even your mum and dad, are staring up with matching smiles. You look at your mum and notice the few pin pricks of tears in her eyes and your stomach immediately drops. Colson reaches his hand for you and you take it. He draws you closer so his lips can reach your ear.

“I knew you’d pick the white dress,” he whispers in your ear and a chill runs down your spine.

Before you realise what he’s doing, he’s down on his knee in front of you, your left hand wrapped in his, as he looks up at you. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black box and flicks it open with his long, slender fingers.

“Baby, I have loved you from the time I met you and I know we’ve only been together for a little while, I know that I will never love anyone the way I love you. So, Y/N, will you do me the honour of becoming mine forever?”

Every word in the English language has completely escaped you in this moment. You stare between him, the massive diamond ring and the crowd of people below and all you can muster in this moment, is a stunned nod of your head. Everyone below erupts into cheers and applause and Colson stands to kiss you, placing the ring on your finger. The feel of his lips on yours wakes you from your confused fog and it suddenly hits you like a train. You just got engaged. You kiss Colson as intensely as you can, knowing that you’re in full view of your parents, and when you pull away a huge grin spreads across your face.

“So, at the studio all day huh?” you smile knowingly at him. He chuckles and pulls you against him, kissing your hair.

“I had to beg Soph to take you out because I knew if I spent longer than 10 minutes with you, I’d give something away,” he explains as he leads you down the stairs to your family.

***********

You feel like you’ve hugged 1000 people tonight as you collapse onto the couch beside Rook. You feel exhausted yet giddy at the same time and you can’t keep up with your own emotions. Your phone vibrates in your hand again and you wince at the idea of looking at your social media again. You already know that multiple guests and Sophie posted that you and Colson were engaged and your phone hasn’t stopped since. You kick your heels off and rest your feet on the coffee table. You don’t think your feet have ever ached this much. A few more guests drunkenly stumble past, the last of the crowd to leave, heading for the door with a wave and you let out a sigh.

After your mum and dad hugged you and cried for what felt like an hour, you were essentially passed around the room like a bag of chips. Each person wishing you well and gushing over Colson’s romantic surprise. A few even joked that maybe he should plan the wedding considering how well he planned the evening. You laughed along with them even in your mind you were thinking over my dead body.

“Long night kid?” Rook mumbles beside you, slinging an arm over your shoulders.

“You could say it’s been the most amazing and overwhelming night of my life,” you chuckle as you lean into him.

You know he’s been planning this since the week after you two go together,” Rook confesses and offers you a sip of his whiskey. You take it, the familiar burn hitting the back of your throat.

“I highly doubt that Rookie,” you laugh him off but the look of seriousness on his face shuts you up fairly quickly.

“I’m being serious. You called me and demanded I come over urgently and when I got there he had brochures full of diamond rings and he looked me dead in the eye and said ��I’m gonna marry that woman’. He organised Sophie to take you out to get your nails done and a facial. I suggested a different type of facial and got my ass handed to me,” you snort and Rook grins at you before continuing. “He begged Ashleigh and Sophie to keep you occupied while he got everything set up, which they didn’t want to do because they knew what a pain in the ass you’d be about getting dressed up.” you punch him in the stomach and he laughs. “Seriously though, he wanted the whole thing to be perfect because he wanted you to know just how much he loves you.”

You contemplate all this information as you think about how much more you’ve fallen in love with Colson. You always thought he was the impulsive type. The kind of guy to never really think things all the way through. His spontaneity is one of the many reasons you fell for him. You could go to his house and walk in to find many different scenarios. A full house water balloon fight, staircase tobogganing, strip pool or, your personal favourite, blind-folded chasey. The thought of Colson sitting down and planning every little aspect of his proposal makes your heart swell and you have the sudden urge to be with him.

You stand up from the couch, the dull ache in your feet causing you to wince slightly, and you pad around the house in search of your prince charming. You walk around the entire area of the ground floor of the house, even poking your head into the powder room, but Colson is nowhere to be found. You slip out into the backyard and hear the familiar sound of his voice in the darkness. As you’re about to call out to him, you catch the end of his sentence.

“Honey, I know you still love me but I’ve moved on,” he whispers and you realise he’s talking on the phone. “Yes, I think about you from time to time but it will never be the same as it was before. I have to move on and try to be happy. No, don’t cry baby.”

Your heart drops and your blood runs cold as you realise he’s talking to his ex. You feel your surroundings begin to spin and like your chest may cave in. You slink back into the house as you try to catch your breath but you just can’t seem to get any air in. You stumble through the kitchen but you don’t make it past the island bench before you sink to the floor. Your eyes are blurred from your tears but you can feel the hands of people reaching out to you. You hear the overlapping of concerned voices as your friends try and work out what’s wrong. You can’t form a sentence as you still struggle to take in a deep enough breath.

“What the fuck are you all doing huddled on the floor?” you hear Colson’s voice break through the fog and suddenly you're filled with white, hot anger.

“You mother fucking asshole!” you roar, jumping to your feet so you can be in his face. Well, as much in his face as you can be given that he’s a good head taller than you. “How could you?”

“Baby, what’s wrong, why are you crying?” Colson’s voice is full of concern as he takes in your distraught features and hostile tone.

“Don’t you dare call me the same name you call her!” realisation dawns on Colson’s face and he immediately backs away from you, shaking his head. “What, you call us both that so you don’t accidentally call us by the wrong name?” he doesn’t say anything, he just continues to shake his head. “Fucking cat go your tongue Baker?”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” he mutters, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.

“No fucking shit I wasn’t meant to hear. How long have you been seeing her huh? Sneaking around with her behind my back while I fell in love with you!? What were your words ‘I think about you from time to time but I have to move on and try to be happy’. So clearly I was delusional when I thought the last 6 months were the happiest of both of our lives!” you turn to walk away from him, sick to your stomach at the sight of his face but he grabs your arm to stop you.

“Wait, let me explain! I just tell her that shit to make her feel better. I don’t mean any of it. She’s only ever called me twice the whole time we’ve been together and I just tell her what she wants to hear so she’ll leave me the fuck alone. The last time I told her I was happy, she called me relentlessly for months until I told her what she wanted to hear. Tell her please Rook.” Colson turns to Rook with begging eyes and Rook nods his head.

“She hates the idea that he can be without her so she hounds him but he’s only spoken to her one other time and that was when you two went public. As soon as Kellz says ‘I’ll try to be happy’ she backs off and leaves him alone,” Rook explains with such a deep honesty in his eyes that you feel your anger dissipating. “Honestly, the woman needs some serious fucking help.” everyone else nods their head in agreement and you realise that you really can’t imagine Colson wanting to go back to her or having a secret relationship behind your back.

“I want you to call her right now and tell her the truth,” you look back at Colson and he pulls away from you. “No more lying to her, no more making her think that you’re not in love and that you’re not happy. Tell her the truth and tell her to fuck off or I’m done.”

Colson immediately pulls his phone out and dials her number. He tells her everything. That he’s been lying to her, that he’s in love with you and has been since the moment he met you, that he’s marrying you because he can’t imagine his life with anyone else and that he wants absolutely nothing to do with her. You hear screaming and crying on the other end of the line and a few ‘bitch’ which you assume is directed towards you but Colson’s resolve doesn’t waver once. He tells her he wishes her a good life and hangs up the phone before she can say another word. Everyone kind of stares at you, waiting for you to do something before anyone else speaks.

You think for a few seconds before turning and heading towards the front door. Everyone parts like the red sea to let you pass and you grab your original shoes from the front door before heading out into the warm night. You can hear Colson calling your name but you don’t stop walking to your car. Eventually his long strides overpower your own and he’s in front of you, blocking your path.

“Will you just stop for a second and talk to me goddammit!” he screams in your face and you step away from him. He reeks of alcohol and weed.

“I don’t have anything else to say to you,” you tell him calmly and cross your arms over your chest.

“Please baby, you know I prefer yelling to the silent treatment. The silent treatment drives me insane and you know it,” he begs and your anger begins to rise again but you take a deep breath to push it back down.

“Do you know what I prefer baby,” you spit at him and he flinches away from you. “I prefer when my boyfriend is honest with me. I prefer when he acts like a fucking adult and has a rational conversation with me about his ex. You know what drives me insane? Lies! Feeling like everyone is in on something that I’m completely oblivious about. The fact that Rook knew about your little phone conversations drives me so fucking insane I may actually have a full on meltdown. So please, don’t try and get sympathy from me right now about your needs and wants because frankly my dear, I couldn’t give a rat’s furry ass.” and with that, you push past him and climb into your car, driving away into the night.

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