#Just want to reply 'Its so much more complicated then that!' but also dont want to waste time writing essays to strangers on the Internet

[theorahsart]

My Frev comic gained traction on Instagram. Earlier today I was so happy, and I thought

"Yay! Now I can correct some myths about Robespierre to more people!"

Then I got these comments:

And now I'm like "Oh...I have to correct some myths to more people..."

I was trying so hard to keep my cool and just recommend books as I read this comment lmao

[iamnotceleste]

Take a deep breath, girl

Series Masterlist: You know how to ball, I know Aristotle

Pairing: Carlos Sainz Jr. x YN Sage

Warning: none

A/N: Here I wanted YN to meet Carlos's sister..but shh they dont know yet. Sorry for posting late. I had exams. I also did some research on spanish curriculum. Its more complicated than I thought.. But I'll try to make everything as real as possible. Feedback is appreciated.

"Yeah, I'm just going to pick up books for the next period from the lockers and I'll be right back," you told your friends as you finished up with your tiffin. You walked through the hallways to the lockers.

As it was tiffin break, everybody were in the cafeteria or playground. You were thinking of what homeworks you'll need to be doing that night when a sob startled you. You focus back to see a young girl was crying on the floor near the lockers.

"Hey are you okay? What happened?" The girl looked up but was too distressed to say anything.

"Hey it's okay, it's okay. Take a deep breath. Follow me. In and out. In and out. There you go."

The girls eratic breathing slowed down a little. "What's your name, nina?" "Ana" "Well Ana, you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"My project broke," Ana said while pointing to what you just noticed, a mini town model. "Oh no" "I kept it in my locker but now I come to find the street lights are broken. I have to show it next period," Ana sniffled.

You felt bad for the girl. "Let me see if I can help." "I don't know if you can, my papa did the lights. There's a lot of wire stuff." You smile at her words. "May I try?" Ana nodded so you took the model in your lap.

You look through the wires, twisting and connecting and voila! The lights are on again.

Ana looked absolutely thrilled. "Thank you, hermana! Thank you so much!" You couldn't contain your own smile to see her so happy.

"It was nothing. Now go and be careful so it doesn't break again!" "I will" She said happily skipping back to her class. You took your books and went back to class, happy to have helped out a younger student.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ana, querida, how did your project submission go?" Senor Sainz asked at dinner. "It broke before the class even started." "Then! What did you do?" Senora Sainz asks.

"I didn't know what to do. But an older girl came and helped me fix it. She was really sweet. I got an A in the project." Ana replied. "That's good. Well, who was she?" Blanca asked. "I don't know."

"She helped you and you didn't even ask for her name? That's rude Ana." Carlos said as a mean to tease her. Ana felt bad.

"It's okay. If you meet her next time ask for her name and say you're grateful alright?" Senora Sainz said. "Yes, mama."

[drinkabletoxicdishsoap]

HAIII IM BACK LIKE I PROMISED HERES MY WINN BULLSHIT LORE

winn was superrrrr close to their mom before she died, she worked as a hair dresser for abit and then as a security guard at pattys and would take them to work when younger so they were very distraught when she died due to medical complications, emmet was a family friend and elijahs long time best friend from high school so they got married a little after her death (yes its suspicious and yes elijah mightve cheated while she was alive yes this is more convoluted then it should be) the cousins arent relevant at all, and yes charlottes name is a fnaf refrence i couldnt pass up the oppertunity

ignore the fucking . "missing since 2007" thing cuz its apart of that one au i mentioned i never talk abt anymore so it wouldnt fit into canon but tldr thats nick of time shes gone bananas dont worry about it (i had a fic in the worlds in like august . i still have the doc open incase i want to finish it since its halfway done but i cant write rn i can only do 1 hobby at a time #sad) also their maternal grandmama is a fucking asshole so who cares

(zipper is a border collie if u gaf......... btw)

I was going to make a separate Winn headcanon post but since you shared this beautiful family tree with me I want to share my headcanons about them!!

TYSM FOR SHARING ITT RAGHH ITS AMAZING AND YES I DO GAF !! THESE ARE SO COOL I LOVE LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS ABOUT THEIR MOM

If I do think of more, I’ll either reblog, edit, or reply!! I’m sorry if they’re out of character or it seems like I’m projecting

they listen to 80’s Japanese city pop!! please tell me someone else sees it and I’m not crazy 💔💔 I probably am oh well maybe it’s because im listening to that genre right now

following up with the music headcanons, I feel they would listen to a lot of bands. Not any certain kind of genre, they just love listening to bands :3 (weezer fan…)

hip hop listener

amusement park enthusiast

maybe it’s only because of the patty possum episode but I feel like they love arcades

GUITAR PLAYER THROUGH AND THROUGH TRUSTTTTTT!! ONE OF THEIR DREAMS IS TO START A BAND I SWEAR

lowkey a fnaf kid. Idk the patty possum episode reminds me a lot of security breach

has a lot of stress and anxiety problems but hides it because they don’t want to upset their friends

whenever they get a new interest, they dive deep into the lore

Minecraft kid.. watched a lot of Minecraft YouTubers (the ones who aren’t groomers I promise)

if I have to give them a style, it’s either grunge or Adam Sandler fits, no in between

listens to music A LOT to help them calm down. basically one of their coping mechanisms

always begged their parents to get them those playgrounds you build in your backyard

LOVES comic books!!!!

LOVES superhero movies as well

sonic fan

plays the pokemon games.. i think they’ve played every gen.. their favorite is black and white

card collector!!!

when it comes to vacation, they love going on excursions and exploring :3

I think they would enjoy gravity falls and adventure time.. maybe I’m projecting though my bad

I don’t know if anyone has read it but you know survivors? yeah I feel like they would love that but maybe that’s just me maybe I fever dreamed that

their favorite animals are bugs. They don’t discriminate they love all and any kind of bugs

they go to skate parks a lot ! They love helping out with people who are struggling with skating or just love hanging out with fellow skaters

very outdoorsy

they love action movies and games

I feel like they played a lot of the Mario franchise

SPLATOON FAN I SWEARRRRRR

I feel like they would love going to farms

posters everywhere in their room

Likes to hang out at roller skate rinks

graphic tees.. they’re so normal about graphic tees

pin and keychain collector

an anime kid but only for like the action animes. Mainly attack on Titian

plays basketball for fun

owns like 100 slinkys

That’s it 🤯 sorry it’s super long :d thank you so much for coming to another yap session! I hope you have a great day/night to whoever is reading this. thank you for sharing your family tree as well! If anyone has any more headcanons, feel free to share in my inbox, reblogs, or replies!!

[crguang]

I feel like there’s a lot of sacrificing for a joke in hsr, which is definitely annoying especially when it just…doesn’t make sense, tonally and just logically. And I really do wish we found out more abt the TB, and I would’ve like even like a tidbit from firefly since we talk to her sm, we even play as her at the end. Or maybe get an offhand mention abt how she’s not supposed to tell us bc of the script or smth . I def agree w you, I cannot take the ipc seriously, bc there’s all this stuff abt how they’re doing stuff for their own benefit and profit but idk the stuff w the stellaron hunters and them is just so goofy, like it doesn’t make any sense.

ok so, I was looking thru ur blog and I realized I sent a message abt two-ish weeks ago, tumblr probably ate it smh. I was just saying how it was silly that Kafka’s wanted poster literally says she likes coats on it, and her bounty, like that’s it. Shes so sjsjshbsbddbbewv. And I also came up with another fic idea, like Kafka in an idol/band AU, but also I think her being an actor w the other stellaron hunters would be funny. But yk if I ever get around to writing anything instead of Kafka just living in my brain, who would she be in a band with, I was think abt using some of the characters from the animated before the show starts thing, but the instruments just don’t go together. Also I think I need to work on writing Kafka in general, bc she’s so complicated and it’s fun but I also overthink things too much.

And the leaks were unfortunately right abt 4 characters on one side. I’m not as devastated as you ofc, but hopefully I win my 50/50. Hjskalskskskndn I will cry if I loose.

also, no need to apologize for ranting, your rants always make more sense than mine, and I really enjoy your thoughts. -🌠

i agree with you 100%!!! missed opportunity with firefly and the tb reconnecting it could have been so nice. and omg i think i read that ask, it sounds familiar but i have so many (most are really old reqs, the recent ones are the event reqs i keep to answer eventually) and sometimes things get lost or i’ll click on the notification, answer in my head, then go do something else and forget to actually post my reply, im sorry😭😭 but YES i was thinking of kafka’s description in the game and while i know its the objective writing of the game and not the ipc, i find it funny to believe that whoever was in charge of her wanted notice thought she was hot as fuck because “dashing” and “beauty” in the same sentence is crazy work. her bounty is even funnier bc im wondering how they found out that she loved coats like😭 did she steal a bunch (she did), are they rlly monitoring her credit card and seeing all the purchases of expensive coats, is she always found in a store— what is it?!

actor au stellaron hunters would be really fun… you could also just put then in a band together for the idol/band au because i do think they’re the people who understand her best. the thought of kafka and jingliu practicing together is so funny because jingliu would hate that woman like GDJFBFNG her arrogance would have liu clenching that instrument so tight

i dont think you should worry about overthinking when it comes to writing, it can be a weakness because then you focus too much on details and forget the big picture, but personally i also think j too much into things when i write characters like kafka especially. when every genuine emotion is in the twitch of a finger, there’s kinda no choice lol

“im not as devastated as you” is killing me but its true… im the biggest victim of this banner system bc if i dont get my swanie i’ll @)&$(&)@)£<£#%. i hope u win the 50/50, unless i lose mine in which case i hope everyone else also loses <3

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry bout this thing but I kinda wanted to tell my thoughts about your stuff. Im kind of hoping this will get drowned in your inbox honestly, since this is just a really long unsolicited rant of mine.

Sometimes when i scroll through your account and I encounter csa, incest and mentions of suicide in your posts I get uncomfortable but then I remember that one phrase that goes something like "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" and I just feel kinda bad bout myself.

When I was a kid my nannys bf forced me to kiss him in the lips whenever we met. I was 6. It was uncomfortable. I never did tell my nanny about it. My parents are both police people and my mother had long explained the concept of rape and how unconsensual touch is bad and you shouldnt allow that but something prevented me from telling anyone what was happening. I dont know why. I know they would immiedietly jail that guy if they did but somehow it felt like no one would believe me. I never told them until now, then when I was what, 6-8 years old? I cant even remember. Yeah somewhere around that, he molested me when my nanny was few feet away and asleep and for the next 4 years of my life i felt dirty. Desecrated. Stupid. I couldnt even look down at my naked body when i shower back then, but somehow I managed to trudge on living by trying to forget the fact it happened. Its been 8 years since Ive last seen him. Ive told anyone who I knew who doesnt care enough to be friends with me but cared enough to listen about it but my Parents are none the wiser and i plan on keeping it that way.

Also. Im a year away from being legal now. Ive thought about killing myself or just generally not wanting to exist anymore many times since then, cuz lifes equipped with motolov cocktails of "get fucked dumbass" and i somehow managed to get a coupon for at least a million of them.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

Coming back to the phrase i mentioned earlier, it feels weird whenever i feel something similar to the feeling of being triggered while looking at csa being depicted. By definition, i would be considered a victim, and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont. I see your art and it guts me. It guts me and the fact that it does also guts me, because what does that mean? I am supposed to be the comforted? Despite the fact that I was taken advantage of as a child and spent night after might thinking how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equiped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children? So i do I correspond more with those who are defined as comforted then, was i not disturbed after all? Was i victimizing myself all along? Am I a bad person for thinking i was? No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

And then it repeats.

I still go through your blog because well, i love tmnt, i love your artstyle, i love the way you tell stories, I love how you dont sugar coat csa, incest and other darker topics like body horror, erotism and sadism, i hate how much it haunts me, i love the fact i can relate, i hate how much you hurt them, i love the fact that you dont hold back, i love how you show the ugly sides of healing, i love how you depict how much people can change and struggle. Its comforting to me. Its discomforting to me. I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

And i like it. I like it somehow, like taking a nice smoke break when you have mild asthma, but like, better. Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

But yeah. Tldr. Sorry for the trauma dump and your art makes me feel complicated. Its neat 👍

lot to reply to here! also, unfortunately for you, i check my inbox obsessively and dont get nearly as many asks as you seem to believe i do.

so firstly, no snappy saying is meant to encompass all of human experience, and you certainly shouldn't judge yourself for not fitting into it. easier said than done, i know, but still. i'm gonna try to address some things here, not gonna touch on all of it, but just know that i appreciate you sitting down to write me this.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

it made me smile, but i laughed at this, because it's a very sweet look into you writing this. puts into perspective how, even though this is public, it was written TO me. like a letter in victorian times or something. that's sweet, i like that.

and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont.

you're making a lot of assumptions here that are kind of wild in that "this thought process was clearly designed by your mind to upset you specifically" sort of way. I mean, would you say this to literally anyone else when they feel uncomfortable or triggered about viewing media that relates to their trauma? There's really no telling what a survivor will feel comforted by and you aren't Doing It Wrong by having a different reaction.

there's a reason i tag it as "csa tw" and that's so people can AVOID it as well as search it up.

how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equipped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children?

i know you recognize at the end of the thought process that this is not true, but i feel the need to reiterate: there is no such thing as being less vulnerable than other children through your own actions. you can try to equip kids with knowledge that might protect them, but that doesn't make them any less vulnerable.

my dad told me about rape and molestation all the time, but he never accounted for the kinds of scenarios i was actually the most likely to fall victim to, partly because i don't think he actually knew much about childhood sexual abuse, and partly because he was more obsessed with the idea of me being kidnapped and raped/murdered than he was about forms of sexual abuse he'd consider more "mild"

No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

i can't answer that one, unfortunately. personally, i like to feel gutted, it's cathartic to me. might be something like that to you, based on how you go on to describe it, but you might also be doing some kinda self harm.

I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

saaaaame. i triggered myself into a breakdown in class once cuz i'd been reading fucked fanfiction before class and i got SAD lol.

Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

we are shaking hands over this.

anywho, no need to apologize! i am glad, if nothing else, to provide you with a strange and upsetting experience that is not entirely bad.

I really do adore hearing how my stuff makes people feel. it's like, a solid one third of the reason i do this. i still make stuff that doesn't exist to be shown off but WOW showing shit off and getting a response feels FANTASTIC. like, i'm in your head now!! you have been CHANGED by my ART. it's maybe the best part of being alive.

[eroticcannibal]

Hello, I was wondering about how to learn more about the subject matter of Zionism and the complexity of it as a term because your post about it interested me. For reference I'm not Jewish and I'm new to learning about it, though I'm staunchly against the genocide being committed against Palestinians by the Israeli government.

I've seen the way the term is used and I'm aware my information on the subject is limited, as is my personal stake in it as someone who is non-Jewish and non-Palestinian. When doing research on the subject of zionism as a historical movement, I find a lot of descriptions of it as a colonialist movement with the goal of developing an ethnostate. One sentence from the Wikipedia page on Zionism reads: "Zionist nationalism drew from a German ethnic-nationalist theory that people of common descent should seek separation and pursue the formation of their own state."

When thinking about forms of Zionism, and in relation to your post about it, what do you mean when talking about how it's a more complex issue than Zionism being bad inherently? Or is your belief more that people with Zionist beliefs should not be seen as inherently bad? I suppose I'm unsure how to conceptualize the idea of Zionism not having inherent issues if it is based on those ideas, though since I'm no historian, I'd like to learn more about the topic and complexities surrounding it.

Pre-emptively clarifying that you're under no obligation to reply, and that if I've said anything offensive, please let me know so I can learn, as that's not my intention. I'm also not trying to argue (people often think I am); I want to learn more about this topic, and I'd rather openly admit when I want to learn more rather than being performatively "educated". Thank you!

First of all thank you so much for being reasonable and curious about this

I will preface this with i am perpetually tired and a bit stupid and I dont always word things how I want to so everyone be patient and understanding especially on such a diversive topic. Ultimately everything I say is based on the view that genocide bad, peace good, people in power suck and normal people have more in common than they have differences.

Now I am not the person to go to for a proper explanation on the broadly accepted kinds of zionism and the history of it and how that feeds into the ideas around zionism that people believe *now*. Hopefully someone else can add something useful wrt that.

My experience is largely with individual zionists and their personal beliefs, motivations and actions, and what these people have made of zionism. I will also stress that I am not going to argue if zionism broadly, or any specific version of zionism, is right or wrong. I think it is a perfectly legitimate stance to argue that all forms of zionism may have inherent issues (show me an ideology that doesnt) and im certainly not informed enough to argue against that. (Maybe someone else can offer some input here). Not only is it fucking complicated, its something that does (in the case of "zionism that supports everything happening right now") and would (for any other form of zionism) affects so many different aspects of life for different groups with different priorities that I dont think anyone is going to come up with anything that everyone is happy with. (This is mostly just disclaimer for anyone pissing on the poor lol)

So when I say that zionism is too complex and broad a term to be viewed as inherently bad, I am talking about the specific nuances that individual zionists have with their beliefs. While not a zionist, I think what other tumblr users (typically those falsely accused of being zionists) said wrt being neither zionist nor antizionst helped it click in my mind how fuzzy the boundaries between these ideologies are, where you can explain your beliefs to a zionist and an anti zionist and both could think you are on "their side". Their is overlap in ideas, a state can exist in so many forms and ultimately the promise of israel to zionists is simply safety, that does not *have* to exist as a detriment to others.

I know zionists who just want to know they have somewhere to go if they need to. Others who value the Jewish claim to the area but not at the expense of palestinians who they believe also have a valid claim. I know others who *dont* believe palestinians have a valid claim but are not opposed to living alongside palestinians. Some support seperate states bordering each other due to fear of continued violence if everyone shared one state. Some simply do not see a way of dismantling Israel without the death of Israelis and non Israeli Jews who would otherwise flee there, so support the continued existance of Israel even if they are opposed to the idea of Israel. Some want to start over with something better. Some are ideologically zionist but think that everything that has happened so far has been done wrong and is doomed to failure. Some want a religious Jewish state and some only want to guarantee enough Jews in charge that it remains a haven for persecuted Jews. Some dont even want *that* and just seek a state in which some sort of constitution enshrines the right for Jews to seek safety regardless of who is actually in charge. And there are many, regardless of their particular flavour of zionism, who are educating, donating, protesting and doing direct action in support of palestinians. Very few genuinely believe that they will gain safety through genocide.

And of course with any broad ideology there will always be the extremists, those who do want palestinians dead. But this is far from representative of everyone.

But also while I wasn't explicitly trying to talk about it in that post, I do *also* think, even if someone is opposed to zionism in all its forms, it is important to not see zionists as inherently bad people. (To be clear, for this next bit i am strictly talking about the fears of Jewish zionists and their allies, not christian zionists or those weaponising zionism to support anti palestinian sentiment or antisemitism). Ultimately zionism comes from a place of cultural and current trauma. Much like I refuse to see someone with a general wariness or distrust of men due to trauma as a bad person unless they go full terf, I will not see a zionist as a bad person unless they are calling for genocide. Jews have every reason to fear for their safety and not trust any country other than Israel to protect them. History has shown that these fears are not unfounded. How can we expect Jews as a whole to reject zionism when so many feel it is their only hope for safety (especially when there is practically no talk of an alternative?) It is human to want yourself, your family and your community to be safe. I know that I would do far more than just hold a political belief, over far less than a proven history of my people being slaughtered, to protect far fewer than everyone I care about. As would most people.

(Slight tangent here but why this is so important to me is largely driven by my belief that understanding this is vital for peace so)

I also think it is simply not beneficial to palestinians to treat every zionist like their beliefs make them an inherently bad person. It further polarises things when you tell people that wanting safety means they support the very worst version of their ideology which makes them easier to radicalised because you strip them of any more moderate community support (again to make the terf analogy, they use the "if you are critical of men you are spouting terf ideology" shit as a way to recruit traumatised people), all this feeds into people pushing ideas like "all Jews must be zionists (for their own safety because no one else cares)" and therefore "all Jews are bad (because they are all zionists and zionists must support genocide)", creating that kind of fear will only lead to Israelis and palestinians being more fearful of and more radicalised against each other, which just fuels and supports violence. Us vs them has always been an effective method of radicalising people towards violence and supporting the violence a state commits. And like. Thats something that innocent normal people always lose on both sides and that only benefits people in power.

I genuinely believe that an effective way forward is to support peaceful zionism that addresses the trauma and legitimate fears that have led to zionism as an alternative for radicalised zionists (and more realistic than trying to push them towards anti zionism) but that cannot happen while all of zionism is seen as inherently genocidal.

(Also just to touch on christian zionism and the weaponising of zionism briefly, I think it does a disservice to the discussion when people do not distinguish between these and Jewish and Jewish supportive zionism. So much of the discourse around zionism, either explicitly or implicitly, targets Jewish zionism, when so much of what feeds the violence and especially financial and logistical support of violence is these other zionsims. There are more christian zionists specifically in the US alone than there are Jews in the world. And honestly it just kind of feels very wrong that these kinds of zionism get conflated to the detriment of Jews as a whole, when Christian zionism is motivated by the desire to harm Jews and weaponised zionism seeks to harm both sides.)

Anyway I hope I've addressed your questions properly (I struggle with long asks and long responses because memory issues and I have to keep scrolling up and down to reread anything). Feel free to re ask anything I missed or ask for clarification, hope I did not ramble too much on tangents. Its just one of those topics where you talk about one thing and you have to talk about everything else that connects to it.

And everyone else please be normal about this. Ultimately everyone involved in this conversation opposes genocide and supports peace, and I do not make my space welcoming to people who believe otherwise, so we can be civil and nuanced about this.

[cupcraft]

Why is that when people are fat phobic about America they sometimes conclude its because "American food is poison and you're all on medication and etc etc type points". Like what is up with this shit and weird pseudoscience? And please dont respond to this "but american food is poison" with absolutely no nuance or science whatsoever because i will block you and will refuse to entertain it.

Like I'm sorry but American food is not "poison", or at least this generalization is just simply frustrating to me. It is true there are ingredients that are legal in the US but are not in other parts of the world, but you can't generalize that as "american food is poison" as it's more complicated than that. You can't make up claims about american food in order to be fatphobic. You can't make generalizations about american diets and nutrition without understanding the social determinants of what go into diet and accessibility of food. You can't have conversations about this without discussing socioeconomics, racism, ableism, food deserts, transportation access, healthcare, and etc. You can't just push bigoted and bullshit diet culture talking points and think you're saying something good here.

And on the science end, you can't look up how a preservative/ingredient that's in food "is also used as a paint thinner/[insert scare tactic]" without understanding food science and what makes something food grade. You can't say GMO's are evil without understanding what a GMO is and how its developed and what it actually means. You can't say "natural and organic is better! that's why american food is toxic" without really understanding food safety/what organic labels mean/etc. You can't say preservatives are evil without understanding why they're important for foods to be shelf stable and accessible, and also just the fact is they are not evil and bad.

And this is not to say there are not things that are able to be criticized about the american food system under capitalism. There is plenty to criticize. There is plenty to talk about within nutrition, access to food, farming/livestock practices, and much more. There's a lot to talk about with water runoff and the effects of american agriculture on the environment. There is so much to talk about with our food within capitalism but the thing is you dont want to talk about it. You don't actually care about improving the health and access to food and minimizing hunger and mitigating social determinants of health. You don't care, because if you did you'd be talking about these things in nuanced scientific and empathetic ways. But instead, you're just fatphobic and you really just want to make it seem like youre not by making up fake pseudoscientific and ableist points about american health in order to justify it. I'd much rather people admit that instead of scaremongering and spreading misinformation that could cause harm.

And for the recordthat's just my short point on the food topic, I haven't even gotten into the "americans are on too many meds" point which is just fucking terrible to say in itself, and ablelist. Like i for one people take meds if they want im glad people have medications that can help them. I'm glad medications exist. I hope to take my meds for the rest of time actually if it means I don't suffer from my shit 😭!! Instead of worrying about the amt of meds ppl are on as a moral failing focus on how we can make meds better more accessible and with less side effects. The end.

And feel free to rb and reply and send asks and add on btw!! There's a lot of nuance to my very short rant on a huge topic. Just don't be weird and rude.

[nana-and-ren707]

Sorry i see you are a nana fan so i want to ask you a thing , Does nana actually love ren? Or yasu more? In 50 chapter i was so confused for shins speech

shin said that nana actually in love with yasu

When nobu and shin see shion go in yasus room , they were all anxious about because nana s reaction .

but nobu has replied “dont say that! She is marrying ren!” Mmmmso i think now that her true love is yasu.. poor ren😢

…And so many clues in the story , example in the chapter 69 whe yasu said thanks nana and that “thanku” was so beautiful for her she cried for the happy .. so may chapters after shion say to misato that a “thank you“ sometime is more rewarding than “i love u” if it comes from the person we love more

I know , ren has made SO MANY mistakes and in know yasu Is perfect but I believed that nana and ren were soulmates no matter what …happened . I so sad fo ren… i know.. its crazy, yasu and nana are so special but i still believed that nana x ren was more , no matter what.. till now 😮‍💨

Ren is my favorite character in nana. that’s why he is to dear to me .. my only hope is that his love is reciprocated by nana.. for real

aahhh I don’t understand what ai yazawa wants to say to us sometimes that i get angry really much. Love is not perfect sometimes… that shion theory’s so deep that i wanna scream 😂 nana was so happy for a thanku .. omg .. Ai Yazawa please.. ren is so lonely in the end.

What do you think about it? So sorry for my bad English !

Helloo and thank you for asking, I love discussing NANA always ♥

I've been confused, and I think we have all been confused just like you with these occurences to Nana being in love with Yasu, I'm pretty sure Yazawa Ai made all these on purpose just to upset us T..T and as Ren and Nana are my favorite character and favorite couple in the serie, I can tell you I was really upset!

But I'm gonna answer your question, as a Nana&Ren fan : I think she really does love Ren, more than anybody. :-)

I can't help but have a lot in common with Nana, I wasn't abandoned by my mother but I felt quite lonely my whole life, not being able to connect to anyone... until I met that one man. It's another kind of love, I swear, to meet someone that heal you from your sadness, from your loneliness, that becomes a shelter, a light in the dark, the ONLY light. The person became a GOD for you, so you can imagine the devastation when you're left by that one person. And there come Yasu! He's sweet, he's nice, he's always available, always a good hear when you need him... I think Nana really wanted to fall in love with him, she knew it would be a healthiest relationship for her... but she did not. She loved him, but she was not in love with him (at the risk of being scolded by their shipers, I think it goes the same with Hachi x Nobu :p). She cannot love anyone else than Ren, and that's one of the reason why she's quite upset

Do you remember this? That one scene in which she realizes that Yasu will not be able to "save" her - from Ren!

Concerning the scene with Nobu and Shin, "think about the way Nana feels about him", we understand in the serie that Nana is a very possessive person, she wants the person she loves to belong to her, completely. I am a very possessive person too, and it's very complicated to see someone who's interested in you being interested in someone else, because you really feel abandoned. Even if you cannot give love to the person, you need the person to love you, only you. Another interesting cap :

I think That's exactly what she'd like! That yasu keeps on looking after her, without loving anyone else, even if she is unable to give him love (because she loves Ren more :p)

The last two things that I wanted to underline, are the fact that Nana is not that upset about Myu and Yasu relationship. She's a bit angry, but she was in love with Yasu it would be the end of the world for her.

+ I have also noticed, and I don't know if you will agree with me, that as long as the things go well with Ren, Nana doesn't really need Yasu, she runs to him when the things go wrong, doesn't she?

+If she was in love with Yasu, she would have dated him during the two years of breakup with Ren, right? :-)

But this is just my opinion you know, maybe I'm wrong , maybe she's in love with Yasu and the clues you listed are quite relevant too! But I hope my answer managed to make you believe in Nana and Ren for ever ♥

Your English is not bad at all, I wish you a very nice weekend honey ♥

[sasukimimochi]

i wanna ramble about my view on JC but i'm so bad at words

so like, i see posts where people talk about these things JC does or WWX holds back from, i don't wanna go searching but also want to leave these details out cuz i don't want to accidentally call people out cuz that is not my intention (not that i have the audience to do something like that) so i'm just gonna go from my memory and kinda summarize what i think abt him...

gonna add a read more line bc this gets long!

Uh, btw please no hostility i'm not trying to start arguments, these are just my thoughts i really wanted to get out there. i'm definitely no therapist or psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, this is the view of just an average reader who retains a lot of info [tho still manages to miss details at times]. Anyway if you have info you think i should have addressed, reply and i'll make additions if i agree/want to expand on the info presented to me!

So, WWX and JC have a weird thing going on, it's not exactly brothers but they definitely wanted that, the reason why i say they aren't solidly brothers is because i'm pretty sure Madam Yu has influenced JC from the start of his arrival which is why he doesn't call wwx a-xian or Wei Ying or A-Ying- Why he doesn't allow himself to let loose properly around anyone even in private, why he constantly scolds wwx, etc. i believe firmly he's been quite influenced by his parents due to him being the next sect heir and the pressure that comes from it, as well as what he feels like madam yu is correct on- wwx is uncle jiang's favorite.

Madam Yu still chides Yanli for doing domestic acts for WWX but not on the same level as JC, who is constantly under pressure by her to be the perfect heir to the sect. She wants him to be better than WWX, which of course affects all of the family but Yanli gets left out of the fire a bit, which i think is what gives her such a strength to do these supportive acts for the brothers [and why she's also both the brother's favorite. She's basically the mom they wish for. Supportive, understanding, and helps mediate them]. Though this is a burden she has to bear, it's not that big of a burden to her because she loves the two so much.

Jiang Fengmian... i might be spelling his name wrong, so i'll call him Uncle Jiang cuz it will be faster for me to type with no mistakes haha. Anyway, I have complicated feelings about him.

At first i thought he was great and did no wrong, but that was on my first pass and when i had just watched the donghua only. My opinion of him since i read the novel isn't bad, but it's not super good. He's in a complicated position! There's only so much he can do about his wife, they argue super often and while its not usually crazy loud, it's pretty intense. [also, i'm not sure if separation is really a thing that happened back then, i think that's really a modern thing.] I feel like we're likely seeing Uncle Jiang's will to fight dimmed down by the wear of time.

Consider: you have a family member who won't ever listen to what you say, regardless how sound your argument is- you can be completely in the right and have all the facts, but no matter how long you press on, the result never changes. Do you put in the same amount of effort for the rest of your life? No! You understand that no matter how much you argue that their answer will remain the same. I personally have a family member like this, and while i defend myself regularly, it does not go anywhere. That is the nature of some people, no matter what they may not treat your view with the respect it deserves.

anyway back to the main line here, i dont think wwx is wrong about what he said regarding JF to JC. "he's just hard on you cuz you're going to be sect leader" or whatever it was along those lines- WWX does not seem like the type to lie to make someone feel better and i think this is why JC appreciates that conversation so much (besides the heartfelt twin prides which is obviously something that stuck to him for a long time). And i agree, JF is definitely trying to prepare Jiang Cheng for his position as sect leader one day.

do i think Uncle Jiang is completely guilt free of favoritism? No absolutely not, he canonically holds wwx more as a child, which i think is hard to argue against- but i do think the context of that is missed in part by most. WWX may have been a bright kid with sun shining out his ass but he was also a scared kid that just got rescued off the streets after his parents never came home. A kid that was fighting for food from dogs and likely starving and scared because he was on the street for like 5 years [if i remember it was from age 4 to 9 in the novel]. Of course he got held a bit more- i can't imagine he would be completely unphased immediately upon arrival, at least with his Uncle Jiang who was totally willing to provide him comfort- which wwx probably desperately missed from his now dead parents. We know canonically that the memory of those parents, however small, is unreplaceable and dear to wwx- but having JF treat him dearly is truly a balm to what has happened to him.

I'm not gonna say JC didn't go through things that made him cry and want to be held, in fact if WWX came into the house and suddenly got a lot of attention, it's going to feel pretty shitty for JC! Of course this combined with abruptly losing his privacy and puppies was what initially had him pushing the other away, but as you could see, after WY breaks his leg after running off and they make up, they get really close and despite this looming responsibility and family troubles, the two are very bonded. imo making them look like 6 year olds in the donghua is an injustice to their relationship, because 9 year olds tend tend to have more emotional intelligence (?) at that age. I'm not sure how to phrase that, but basically making them look younger and act like giggling children took away from the scene a bit for me lol. Jc is old enough to realize he doesn't dislike wwx! This isn't a child quickly getting over his anger, he's young here yes, but he's decided in this moment that he cares about this new member of the family, despite being called the son of a servant. [which yes madam yu is once again influencing his view of this segregation but i think he is much better at ignoring this particular in his youth]

I am rambling more than i thought i would lmao- i have a lot of feelings about their relationship and i think it's skipped over so much

um, i'm not sure which direction i was going in before i went onto the parents. Let's skip forward.

lotus pier fell and not only did JC see wwx get humiliated and whipped and nearly disfigured, his mother who he was about to lose blamed wwx for so much. When you lose a family member you have an attachment to, whether it bad or good, this influences your thoughts about them and with no way to resolve said thoughts. i find this hard to explain, so i'm just going to hope you understand what i'm referring to here. Especially in ancient china though, i believe it's a big thing to hold such a high regard for your parents, but especially if they have passed? i can't say this is fact but i believe that is the case i just am sticking to my memory here. So these things in combination with Trauma, i believe starts this heavy, negative emotion in JC that is hard to unstick.

JC and WWX may get into a one-sided scuffle but soon after they cry together like children. They just experienced hundreds of lives lost- people they grew up with and trained with and cared for as well as the people who provided and cared for them- their family was unstable, but still was a family and support system- now they had only two people and one of them was far away, the one that was typically their pillar. I feel like a lot of people hold JC to an impossible standard in his situation- having a bad day and taking it out on someone is one thing, going through a traumatic massacre i think allows someone to get a bit unreasonable [though of course nearly choking him was quite far, remember, he's extremely unstable emotionally at this point].

"WWX didn't do that though!" of course not. WWX is a different person with a different personality, is older (though i don't know by how much), and is extremely resilient, but he does process his trauma just differently. As you see over and over in the novel, wwx goes through many things others wouldn't dream of, but he starts acting differently even before the golden core removal, not only after. He's going through the same things, but i'm pretty sure no one reacts to trauma the same way to the T. JC's just happens to be misplaced anger, which is probably way too simple a way to put it, but anyway...wwx also gets angry. very angry. The two both have the correct target of anger in the end, despite Jc's breakdown. He still harbors his mother's words, but at this point they're still in the background of his mind.

Now again we go forward- JC willingly sacrifices himself for WWX. Look, if he doesn't like wwx at all i think this is extremely contradictory. even if he was s*icidal, he could have chose other ways to get to that end if that was the case. and a gentle reminder that JC perks back up and is ready to fight once he believes WWX knows how to fix his core! i don't think he was truly wanting to die or anything like that until he thought he had lost everything except wwx and jyl. He believes in wwx's strength despite his constant fear of inferiority, so if he was gone, what would it matter if wwx was there to continue to protect yanli?

Essentially he was like 'well what are we going to do if i can't lead the sect? We would be in a homeless situation and there is a war.' aka there's not a lot of hope all around, i don't think he was only upset about the core, but it was definitely the main force because if he didn't have a core, how would he survive what was happening anyway? he's like 'if i'm gonna die let it be on my terms' yk? He also doesn't feel like he's strong enough before he lost his core to protect anyone. Without it? fat chance.

whew... this is a lot already, so maybe i'll post this and do a part two later addressing YLLZ arc, then the "present" one. i just have a lot of feelings about their relationship and i'm sad to see so much negativity around him...JC is quite flawed, but a lot of the characters are flawed! that doesn't make them bad characters, it makes them interesting and human.

[andrewknightley]

final thoughts of my reply of da2 all here to not mega spam

-gosh i remember how shocked i was when i saw the chantry exploting for the first time. i wish i could see myself again. the biggest plot twist of my life. (now replaying anders is like "yeah the potion we pick this and this and bum!" and im like i see what u did there)

-im not a big fan of sebastian and i usually dont bring him around much but goooood i love when he is full of blood telling me how he is gonna come for my bf anders and show us what real justice is. its so epic

-replaying makes me love bethany even more ... my lil sister... i wanted to bring merrill in the final battle but in the end i had to bring bethany with me :_) all the legacy stuff and all the pretending to be happy in the circle because she doesnt wanna be a burden and her complicated feelings about being a mage gosh... i love her

-also i didnt say it here before but merrill mission destroys me everytime its so fucking sad. she did it all for people who loathe her. 6 fucking years in a shitty situation of hey your clan doesnt want your help or the eluvian this is like. bad for everyone ToT she could had spend all that energy with the city elvves and she admits she didnt even pay that much attention cause she has the "we the dalish are the real elves" thing.... gosh i love merrill and her story and im so sad

-anyways living with all the anders convers but what else is new

-isabela friendship is also a thing i treasure very much GOSH i love it...

-fenris saying im his only friend when i know he hangs out to play cards with varric and aveline's husband and isabela like what are u saying boy

-orsino turning to blood magic at the end of the game its so so stupid it will always be so stupid and made no sense but i know apparently they were forced to add 2 final boss for gameplay and they had to do this shitty story reason but god. awful. he doesnt even fight templars he just fight us like fiojfdigf

-last minute change of heart of cullen could also. be done better dffddf

-IM NOT CALLING YOU A LIAR JUST DONT LIE ON ME (cries)

-best credits

-anyways im emotionally destroyed i wish there was another dragon age to play but alas i have to wait for veilguard

(now for reals there are some stuff i would play inquisition again for, but god i think about the open world and walking and walking wthout nothing and the missions and ugghhhh)

-im gonna replay the emotional anders scenes now

[nmzuka]

tbh I've always found those "liking posts are USELESS if you care about artists you have to REBLOG" posts to be agonizingly entitled. That kind of tone, as if not reblogging something is Morally Wrong somehow, sucks pretty bad. Like, damn, I fully get the sentiment bc reblogging IS how artists get discovered and that's an integral part of this site, but also an artist doesn't get to demand free advertisement from me by trying to shame or guilt trip me.

The tone just feels disrespectful towards audiences, treating them like selfish machines that need to be trained to output maximum Engagement Numbers because they're Doing It Wrong. Posts that just explain the difference between likes and reblogs are fine, but I usually see variations of the same "no likes, only reblogs" sentiment instead.

just... venting some thoughts ig, curious about your opinion if you wanted to share your thoughts on the subject

I know your followup message said I didn't have to reply but I'd like to anyway

I definitely was personally more caught up on wanting people to reblog my art before but I think that comes with having been on the site a long time and seeing the culture slowly shift? There is definitely a much larger ratio of likes to reblogs now then there use to be and that is a bit discouraging as an artist in a way? I 100% get that at least and def still obviously want reblogs and engagement (and especially comments left in tags those make me happiest!)

But I also 100% get not always wanting to reblog a art piece you see. I'm very gulity of just liking a post but not wanting to reblog it for whatever reason.

Reblogs are obviously important but I think at the very least liking a post at least shows it was seen! Sharing my art means I want it to be seen. If people dont want to reblog it for whatever reason thats fine but at least liking it lets me know people saw it and helps keep me wanting to share ya know?

I've seen people post art and put like "dont like unless you reblog" and that left a bad taste in my mouth and made me not even like the post because I didn't want to reblog it...

Idk its kind of a complicated thing... artists do need reblogs but the audience isnt obligated to do so but likes do also matter as well (at least to me) cause at then you know your stuff is being seen

[honeybyte]

didn't want to ask this in the replies but what is your process like for designing clothing for characters bc not only do they look gorgeous but you always put so much thought into your stuff, esp the historical kind. it smthin i've always kind of struggled with tbh and you make it so interesting

oh man it kinda. varies? depending on what kind of clothing i want out of a character. this gets kinda long too but bear w me lol

the fashion pieces i do, i spend a lot of time going thru fashion editorials for poses and pick up pieces of different outfits or silhouettes that i want out of a piece. for stuff like a set occupation (hunter, butcher, blacksmith) it's abt knowing time period and finding the pattern between different photos.

the more complicated ones are like. odelia and euan. where im creating a whole piece that's frankensteined from a couple different styles (rococo, georgian, regency, etc). i think the three main types of information i depend on are Goal, Silhouette, and Fabric.

so Odelia and Euan. the goals for them are very different, bc Odelia strives to be the center of attention while Euan tries to blend in with the background.

Odelia needs something extravagant and flashy, maybe brightly colored and shiny; pastels and wide skirts would be good for her, and rococo is a good place to find both. satin is good for shine and lace is good for detail, and both are relatively light materials. Euan would want something a little more subdued, possibly a tighter silhouette so he's not taking up much space. i found a picture of a russian noble while i was sifting thru various noble clothing designs, and i liked the way the silhouette was tighter and cleaner. he'd also need darker colors if he wants to hide in the shadows. i like the way darker colors look in velvet, and it's a thicker, heavier fabric, which was another trait in the photo i was referencing. i also like the weight and thickness of quilted fabric so throw that in there for fun and detail. lastly, being as they're twins and high priests, they need a way to tie the designs to each other, and i settled on a thicker neckline that suits both styles in different ways. the finished concept looks a bit like this.

granted this is always subject to change, and its a v simple version of the design i want, but its a good start

with designs like that i also like looking for textiles! rococo patterns are so pretty too, so i picked one for Euan as well. the off white would be shared between the two designs, the lighter blues for Odelia, and the darker blues for Euan

wheeze that's a rough estimation of how i go thru designs, there's a type of practicality and personality i want out of most of them so i try to research what i can when i want smth specific. part of this is admittedly bc i. am a lil obsessed w period clothing, so i already have some of that in my back pocket, but i also think just typing in "[year] fashion" is a fair place to start. regardless, having fun is a Must when you're designing clothes for a character so dont forget that bit lol. i wish you luck and godspeed, friend!

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Hello valued mutual-in-law (I am the twitter mutual of Matt’s whose friend is long term essaying with him over curiouscat, for context); I just wanted to say I just read your writing on disability within enstars you linked in reply to one of the curiouscat exchanges (which I’ve been reading bc I like seeing what both people involved have to say) + the post about guardianship re: the Merus that it linked to. Just wanted to say thanks for writing it all because it was really insightful — particularly the Sakuma segment, because I’m not very well-versed on the two of them and especially not with Rei, who I’m mostly acquainted to through being a casual enjoyer of the oddballs’ group dynamic, as well as a 2winkP (the latter of which provides sort of complicated feelings on him based on Setsubun & its aftermath, or general lack thereof that’s only really brought up in Nightclub from what i’ve seen do far;;). Like I did know to a basic degree about the Wagahai & Orei selves being personas but the detail in which you went into them + the way his disability affects him & his relationship with Ritsu really gave me some new insight on him & a motivation to learn more up on him.

Tldr; I enjoyed your thoughts and writings on the mixed bag of disability representation in enstars, thank you for writing all that it was nice insight, and it helped me understand the Sakumas — particularly Rei — better. Good posts op

HIIII holy shit, thank you so much for reading them. JUST HOW FAST WERE YOU.... i am really happy to hear you liked them!!! its just a lot of rambling but i love to yap + i love when others yap and it introduces me to a new perspective...... in my mind were holding hands and dancing in a meadow <:)

genuinely, i think no one can be immune to the oddballs, right. theyre just good. see.... my partner is a shuP and my bestie is a natsumeP and matt is a wawaP and i am a rei guy by necessity and ..... THIS IS HOW I KNOW NOTHIONG ABOUT KANATA.... i feel like often orienting oneself around enstars as a series is extremely about picking like a handful of charas to major in and knowing people who are into everyone else so you experience enough secondhand lore LOL

i extremely get you though, rei is not sympathetic. i am on pc but what i mean is 2winkP handshake emoji kogaP = Fuck That Guy

i could talk about rei (and ritsu for that matter. tho i havent read that much about him) in the context of disability forever.... and it feels important because it is an angle that discussion about him is just EXTREMELY lacking. it often feels like barely anyone bothers to think about how much being ill shapes his person, his relationships, his job, his actions.... and i cant really blame people either because they probably havent made the necessary experiences to really internalize how big of a deal that is...

and narratively..... there is a big trend of characters being very lenient with him and basically thanking him for being.... extraordinarily condescending, nosy, emotionally unavailable, and actively a danger for everyone involved. the worst examples that instantly come to mind for me are repayfes, setsubun (as you mentioned), and dont even get me started on hidden beast.

+ often hes some sort of deus ex machina plot device for lazy writing and its SO obnoxious.

setsubun specifically is so weird because i understand and support his weird cartoon villain act (as in, its engaging to read and an interesting manifestation of his issues) and obviously i LOVE the drama of characters being unwell and causing issues for others that way... conflict is great... but the way the twins react to it purely positively at the end is just a really disappointing. like i dont expect them to truly nail that hinata almost died an hour ago but come on. (ig sandstorm tries to pick up there....) also sort of why i never brought anything in there about being "monstrous" and how "monsters are created" up in my disability post.... really really fits the topic and a lot of it is coming from the horses (reis) mouth but the context hinata and yuta experience it in is just an entirely different one. hm....

its sort of a similar deal with himeru, right. narratively i am disappointed. they dont get chewed out by the people i want. and hes doing evil shit. but then i see him and i go :( thats my funny menhera man.......

[starg1rlie]

hihi! hope youre doing well! ♡ ive never done one of these ask games before but they seem sups cute so i thought id give it a shot ! 💍 for scara please !!

im ambivert!! i really enjoy talking to people and love being around them! id describe myself as a rather calm and go with the flow. im a very patient person and like to see the brighter side of things. im a very physically affectionate person and generally just a pretty happy person 😭 i dont really like confrontation all too much but i will engage in some teasing if i know the other person is okay w it. unfortunately im also the victim of being a HUGE sappy hopeless romantic too 😔 i really enjoy writing :> music and nature are huge inspirations for me and are a big part of my life ! i also draw quite a lot too, it helps relax me and i love making things. i hope you have a great day and thank you for your time! <3 (apologies if this is too long! ^^;;)

(hello, my apologies for taking so long to get to your request, i hope that you haven't been waiting too long...i got a bit sick and i lost my motivation to write, since i dont feel like i'd be pushing out anything worthwhile for my readers at the time, but here i am <3 hope you enjoy)

biking around the city

its dangerous, he says, and yet, he still goes along with it. you first suggested it as a way to get some fresh air (as if the two of you couldn't receive fresh air from the front porch of your house), and he agreed, only because he knows how much you enjoy taking in the scenery of mother nature. of course he didn't expect for you to ask him to hold hands while doing so. if he had, he'd have refused to accompany you and would probably force you to do something else inside the house that wasn't quite so dangerous. he went along with it anyways, linking his fingers through yours as the two of you biked around the neighborhood for a bit. then scaramouche insisted the two of you head back, because it was getting late and your parents would probably murder him if he kept you out for too long.

he'll play the piano in the middle of the night

even though his mother had previously forced him to learn how to play the piano, he still secretly enjoyed it, despite all the smacks to the hand he received from his instructor. he hadn't played in a while and he felt a little nostalgic one night, so he plopped himself down in front of the grand piano, flipping the cover open and letting his fingers brush against the piano keys. slowly, he dipped into a simple melody he first learned, then ascended into a more complicated tune. all the while, he never looked up from his work, playing and playing until he played the last note. a clap startled him and he jumped up from his seat, whirling around to face you. you didn't tell me you played the piano, you'd say as he came over to wrap his arms around you. that's a one-time thing, he replied. only it wasn't; he started playing more and more every night, and you, upstairs in the bedroom, would listen contentedly under the covers, happy that he continues to play.

introduce him to romance

he legit hasn't had a single romancic occurence in his life (poor boy), and does not understand how you can be so sappy and romantic all of the time. so when you sat him down one night, scaramouche couldn't help but feel a little skeptical about the whole ordeal. romance wasn't his thing, not really, anyways. but you tossed a copy of "to all the boys i've loved before" and left him to "do his thing". a few hours later, you hear sobbing from downstairs and rush to see what's the matter. why are you crying? you asked him, rubbing a hand soothingly over his back. this book is so fucking sad, he'd say, wiping at his runny nose first and then his eyes. honey...it's a romance book...you replied, a little confused. i know. it's so fucking bad.

he'll teach you how to waltz

scaramouche isn't much of a dancer himself, but since there is a formal dance coming up at his school, and he wants to take you as his date, he practiced for weeks on end, ever since the school announced the dance. when he finally felt good about his performances, scaramouche invited you to his living room and placed a hand over your waist, the other gently clasping your hand in his. together the two of you swayed around the room until you collapsed into an exahusted heap, erupting into giggles. what's this for? you inquired, gesturing at his tuxedo and neatly combed hair the next day. what did you think i asked you to dance with me for last night? he shot back, re-adjusting his tie. we're going to the dance. with that, he promptly drags you out of the house to drive to the dance.

listens to your onslaught of playlists

it seems every day you manage to make a new playlist for him to listen to. him? he prefers indie pop and would rather slit his throat than listen to anything other than his chill music. however, since you put time and effort into the playlists, he'll scroll through it and play some of the songs in there. eventually, he'll find his head bobbing along to the songs and will scowl to himself, ripping his headphones off and glaring at his phone. your playlists...aren't as bad as i thought they'd be, scaramouche said the next day. his eyes narrowed just a bit. but we'll be talking more about your music taste in the future.

he'll organize a hike and picnic

since you seem to love nature so much, scaramouche mentally mapped out a plan for taking you out one weekend for a hike, and then a picnic at a pretty area, even going so far to take the scenic route instead of the shorter route. backpack and picnic basket in tow, he'll determindely hike up the hill with you, even though his feet are killing him and he'd much rather be relaxing back at home, watching riverdale. when the two of you finally reached the summit, he keeled over on his hands and knees, gasping and panting heavily. nope, this man is not in shape. want some water? you offer him, holding out a bottle of cold water for him. scaramouche accepted it gratefully and gulped half of it down before swiping at his chin. you're lucky that i decided to go through with this, otherwise we'd be rewatching riverdale again at home, he said pointedly, wiggling his index finger at you while he tried controlling his breathing.

[fentrashcat]

So until Friday the 22nd, I Want to Love the Thunder is a available as a free ebook on Amazon as a little birthday/week thing.

It's a short read, and some poems are CERTAINLY better than others, but if you have some time to kill, please check it out!

Since I'm doing this I wanted to talk a bit about like why I chose to publish something I'm not the best at, but it'll probably get rambly 🤣

I have been writing fiction since I was in third grade, and have always had an interest in story telling. When I was younger, a lot of times a majority of my friends existed in the pages of a book, or sometimes in my head. I was the kid skipping recess to read, or escaping to the library when I finished my work early.

Come seventh grade, I began writing "novels" (never finished), and short stories with a focus on fantasy and some sci-fi. This was also a really dark point in my depression, and my stories were my only escape. I also remember a teacher asking me what I wanted to be in the future I said "there's no want to, I'm GOING to be an author." When she asked what if I couldn't do that, I replied "then I will be a failure."

As well as writing these stories that I only shared with my friends, I discovered fan fiction. Other than just reading it obsessively, I began to write some as well, and got some attention. I adored interacting with the people who read my stories and made requests, and it made me want to share my own stories even more. Side Note- even if you think your writing is cringe and you dont want to work on it anymore, leave it up. I deleted this account bc "cringe" and I still really regret it, because I lost the encouragement and kind comments along with my cringe. Not to mention probably ~600 pages of work, and a shit ton of personal "milestone" notes that I added at the end of chapters.

I wrote CONSTANTLY in high-school, but I had a problem- I could never finish a story. I very often would write 30-50 pages, and lose interest. Even my most prolific work is unfinished, despite having well over 300 pages of writing and rewriting, and the most world building I have ever done.

As of now, I have about 55 WIPs, and countless that have been deleted or lost (NEVER USE YOUR SCHOOL ACCOUNTS FOR THINGS YOU WANT TO KEEP BTW). I Want to Love the Thunder is my "I can do this".

I have a complicated relationship with poetry, but I realized that this is something I could finish. It's a start. Hopefully, especially since my school fell through, I Want to Love the Thunder is just the first of many, although I'll probably stick with fantasy instead of poetry lol. If there is a next one, maybe I'll do short stories, and build my way to novels, or (in the case of my largest WIP) even series.

I know that being a full time author is rare, or really difficult, but I still love writing, and it lets me share a peice of myself with others, and maybe a way to leave SOME kind of legacy in the world, even if it's never read, it's out there. A tiny peice of my soul is forever available to others to see, even if it's just one person. This is my whisper in the void of existence.

I got mushy and rambly, which is kind of funny considering a lot of the poems in the book or just silly or stupid things 😅. Thank you so much of you've read this far, and thank you double if you check out my book.

TL;DR- I published a book in a style that I'm not great at, just to prove to myself I could, and so that maybe 100 years from now, someone who's never met me can see a sliver of myself.

This is more than likely the last post I will make about I Want to Love the Thunder, because even though i want it to be seen, its also kind of scary to be seen. If you want to check it out after the free promotion it will be 2.99, or free on Kindle unlimited, ebook only as of now.

[baekhvuns]

i get you, single life is the peak of peace and oh them drawings 😩🤌i can obsess over whoever I want, I can have 10 husband's without even getting married THE PURE JOY. Im not that big of a manhwa fan but I've read a few and i can assure you, I desire that type of a romance BCZ DONT YOU SOMETIMES WANT SOMEONE TO FALL SO CRAZILY IN LOVE WITH YOU?!?! They'd embrace you, they'd tell you how pretty you are and even when you'd say 'you might get get tired of me' they'll reply "you're like the moon honey, no matter how many times I look at it, it seems to get prettier and enchanting" 😭😭😭😭 BUT I DAMN WELL KNOW MEN ARE NOT FUNCTIONED LIKE THIS AHVAJABAJAB WHYYY?!?!

Yes my happy marriage!! I honestly get the hype arnd it!!

Speaking of manhwas or webtoons, I have a few of my favourites like daytime star Oh God it is such a sweet SUCH A FLUFFY STORY BUT THEN THE ML LOOKS LIKE THIS:-

LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR THIS ISNT ALLOWED IN MY HOUSEHOLD GODDAMN!! and he's the greenest flag ever. I've also read more webtoons like operation love and surprisingly I read see you in my 19th life as a webtoon and I still haven't watched the drama. I'm currently trying to read this manhwa called my in laws are obsessed with me, AND ITS COMPLICATED ALR?? IT IS! BUT! I looovvee the art style so much I'm on my damn knees AND THE BLACK HAIRED DUDE THERDEO!!! AH HE GV MY BUTTERFLIES 😭😭 I feel like this story is presented really good and i actually like the female lead in this.

I have one more and idk why but it reminds me how you write for some reason. It's titled "midnight crying crow" and the FL on this is a detective so strong, so sassy, and in general THAT girl and the ml 😭 he's an actor AND SUCH A DIVA OMG, and that reminds me of your written Seonghwa so much Bcz

I THINK YOU GOT POINT 😭😭

LMFAOO NOT THE SIDE EYE!! Now im def gonna watch it soon! Omg they are so long and bestie I started watching one piece a few weeks ago 😭 AND I MADE IT TILL EP 7!! See I struggle with watching too like idk how peeps watch a whole season in a day, I just can't but somehow i finished a few series.

Ohh honestly I still like comedy animes better so I'm suggesting baby Buddy daddies (i literally wrote baby daddies-) , spy x family (it's so good YOR AND LOID IS MY SHIP OK?), The babysitters club IT IS SO CUTE 😭 , saiki k, the way of a househusband THIS IN PARTICULAR BCZ IMAGINE AN INTIMIDATING MAFIA GUY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND AFTER MARRIAGE HE BECOMES A MANWIFE WHO LIKES CUTE THINGS AND JUST FOR YOU!??!? It's top tier!!

Ikr somehow pictures be motivating to get my life together even 😭 hell even stationary motivates me, i would've never studied or wanted to study if it wasn't for cute stationary!!

YES WE SHALL RISE!! IN THE NAME OF THE THE LORD PARK!

park peace no srs, no situationships just pure delusion <3 UHUH EXACTLY make them scenarios in ur mind and then giggle into ur pillow like 😭😭 pathetic but u KNOW WHAT BETTER THAN EVERYONE AND THEIR MEN,, NO NO I FUCKING GET U SO MUCHF WHKFHWK LIKE SAY THAT TO ME????? TELL ME IM A CUP OF COFFEE??? NEVER GIVE UP NEVER WHAT??? will forever make the men in my fics act like that, my delusion will go on

that man is so fine, the hair, the authority

I !!!! WANT !!!! HE !!!!

see now im trying to read day time star….why is it kinda dry 😭😭😭😭 crying fbwmfjwk iM not a huge fan of it atm 😭😭 SEE U IN MY 19TH LIFE I PREFER THE WEBTOON OVER THE ACTUAL DRAMA ANYDAAAAAY

NO BC I KNOW THAT ONE IVE BEEN RECCING IT AND ASKIMG EVERYONE TO READ THAT FIC BECAUSE OF HIM. THAT ART STYLE IS EVERYTHING AND WHEN HE BLUSHES?????? DROPPED.

WHAT THE FUCK. I NEED THIS MAN IRL ACTUALLY IF YALL SEE THIS, NO U DONT MIND UR BUSINESS 🔫 or read the fic,,, THE FEMALE LEAS IN TUIS IS SO GOD DAMN PRETTY 😭😭 THIS IS MY IT COUPLE IDC IDC THIS ONE WILL FORVER WIN

pls tell u ur reading secretary’s escape…

I WILL READ THAT WEBTOON !!! omg???? written hwa??? this is a must for me,, omg if u like detective type of webtoon a pls pls pls read the purple hyacinth, legendary chemistry almost like miraculous ladybug and chat noir type <3 yes. YES I GOT THE POINT BRWMBDSK

LMFAOOOO no literally i cannot watch it for hours long like i have up sailor moon in first 10 eps 😭😭

STOP I LOVE SPY x FAMILY,,, STOP IT THE WAY OF THE HOUSE HUSBAND I WAS SO OBSESSED W IT THAT I BOUGHT THE MANGA FOR IT 😭😭😭

wait i do not rmr if i rec-ed the remarried empress, yeah. an empress, remarrying, to a younger king? who’s like a golden retriever and the art?? LORD HAVE MERCY. my fav webtoons depend on the art, if i don’t like the art i don’t read it and this one has one of the best arts ive seen. SORRY THE DUDE IS JUST SO FINE FHFWMDJAKJ LET ME JIST SHOW U FBWMDWL hate her ex husband tho so he kinda fine but problematic

trust he looks even better in season 2 the art just keeps getting better!!!

men of harem is pretty good but it’s dragging along,,, PERFECT REVENGE MARRIAGE!!!! A MUST!!!! a good day to be a dog is also vvv ☺️☺️ and u can read lost in translation if u want to be depressed for the rest of ur life.

no literally!!! this reels w that same song and ppl studying got me like???? me too???